/g/ - girl talk

In my longest running relationship, I hated my bf’s friends. For a long time I didn’t know them, though. I always wanted to introduce my bf to my friends and he resisted for a long time. When he finally did meet him they were so welcoming to him and I made a point to try to include him when we played video games and shit but he just really couldn’t care.

I would sometimes ask about meeting his friends and he would try to brush it off. He finally admitted that he didn’t think I would like them. I asked him why he would want to be friends with the kind of people I don’t like. Turns out they were all edgelords wgo were racist and misogynistic as fuck and weebs that liked to make rape jokes.

Bf eventually couldn’t hide that he was pretty much the same as them for too much longer.

Moral of the story is if you don’t like his friends you should probably dump him. You know what they say, “you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. That and that you should be very suspicious if he won’t let you meet his friends

my bf has this one friend who i cannot stand. he’s a cheater, serial womanizer, misogynistic and does way too much coke. he’s been friends with this guy for years and says that he hasn’t always been this way. my bf tells me that he disagrees with the way he behaves and shit he says and he does tell him this. he’s offered to cut him off for me but i don’t want him to do that bc i’m not controlling and trust him not be influenced by this dude and their friend group would be fragmented if that happened. his other friends are lovely and i like them! they all have a relatively decent head on their shoulders. it’s just the one guy (who admittedly he does only hang out with once or twice a year) that i don’t like. is this a problem?

>>113651
I mean if they barely hang out and he would cut him off for you even though it would break the friend group then I wouldn't say it's a problem. It's just weird that all of them are nice people but they keep this guy around, but I guess it's hard to let go of people when they used to be different.
You shouldn't worry about it, I don't know how old you both are but adults don't get influenced as much, especially if they already have a group of good friends.

>>113650
>you are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with
Based. Even if you're not like them per se, the fact that you maintain a relationship with someone of questionable character says a lot about you.

>>113651
If they barely hang there is really no issue, I'd probably leave it alone. However, I don't respect people that keep friends around long after they've become different people with the excuse "he wasn't like this" bc that makes no sense. That conveys either a lack of critical thought towards certain things, or some FOMO type shit where they cling to the potential of their friend changing into a better person someday. Either way shaky stuff and a waste of time imo. You don't have to dramatically burn bridges or whatever but it's totally okay to let go of people that are no longer a good match for you.

>>113662
i agree, kinda. i find it very easy to cut off people i see who have changed for the worse and he’s not particularly clingy so i find it hard to understand why he keeps this guy as a friend (they don’t talk all that often either). i think his main fear is that particular friend group fragmenting and not getting to hang out easily together. my boyfriends pretty drastically different to his guy and i think i trust his judgement enough on this one maybe.

>>113646
I like them, but after reading through this thread I think I have a pretty unique situation.

My fiancé does not have a lot of friends our age. He has always been somewhat of a loner and does not like conventional things other people our age do. He has a group of friends from childhood and we all hangout once or twice a month. They are at different points in their lives (some are dropouts, others are still in college, some have started their careers) so they've drifted apart somewhat but it's nice everyone still makes an effort to get together. Only two of them have longterm girlfriends but they always include us when they get together.

Other than that, my fiancé has older work colleagues we sometimes do things with on the weekends with their families.

One thing I really appreciate about my fiancé is that he has always made an effort to include me in social outings with friends and colleagues at his own behest. He's a good fellow.