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No. 125264

What’s with every famous woman in her 40s (or 30s too, I guess) and up dating guys in their 20s? This has always been common with the genders reversed, but what caused this sudden trend? Up until 5-10 years ago it was completely unheard of aside from a few notorious examples. Now it’s pretty much the norm and it’s considered weird to not do it.

What do you think of this trend?

Have you ever been in an age gap relationship? It always seemed quite awkward to me, be it an older or younger spouse.

No. 125265

File: 1571064226140.gif (713.6 KB, 498x280, A7353758-5A52-4E05-B190-AC8A29…)

Anyone male or female that dated someone so much younger has issues and more red flags than the Chinese army

No. 125273

It really doesn't happen as much as youre making it sound like it does, and when it does happen its almost always short lived and the man goes back to dating younger women (ashton kutcher, pete davidson)

No. 125276

Was in a relationship with a guy 12 years older than me for some months, he was 38 and I was 26 when it started. The rose-tinted glasses faded away rather quickly as time passed and I realized that this guy was kinda dishonest from the start (for example, said he was two years younger than he actually was), didnt have much going for him, on top of having trust issues from his previous relationship (his ex was 11 years younger, and I think they started dating when she was 19 and he was 30). Now in hindsight I dont see how it could have lasted well in the long run; what does someone approaching 40 have in common to talk about with someone in their mid-twenties anyway? At least if one of them has money then they can afford to do a lot of things.
I remember a conversation we had about age gaps, he seemed to downplay it a lot by saying he dated older girls when he was younger and it is super common thing, citing examples such as Salma Hayek, Macron and their much older partners

No. 125287

Not (that) related, but when I was a preteen I used to have a huge crush in this Tom Kaulitz guy lol. Cringe. Now I think Heidi is way too much for him.

No. 125291

Is there some sort of rule or is it just a case by case thing?
Like, I'm not going to tell a 30 year old not to date a 50 year old, but maybe it might get a little dicey if they were 10 years younger

No. 125302

I'm what people call a cougar, and here are my reasons.

Underlying conditions: I never wanted to settle/marry, never wanted kids. My primary motivator for getting together with someone is sex. I'm not looking for anything more in a partner because I'm not looking for a life partner, I'm looking for a playmate.

Fact: the older the man, the lower the testosterone levels, the physical fitness, and the general enthusiasm for sex.

I just want to have fun before I die, you know? A single dad of two-three kids or a business executive consumed by his job or just your average middle-aged man jaded by life don't have anything to offer to me, and I don't have anything to offer to them.

I have no desire to be your baby momma, your solace and confidant, your dependable rock, your success, your whatever woman-shaped hole you are trying to fill.

I just want sex and fun. As do young men. It's a win-win.

No. 125303

I'm currently in an age gap relationship. It's about to be 2 years by this friday. I'm 20 and he is 26. It's weird to think about sometimes…knowing that he lived a whole life before i came into the picture but i still find myself attracted to him nonetheless.
We make it work :P

No. 125305

Kek 20 and 26. That's nothing special and totally normal.

No. 125307

How old are you? How old are your men, typically? How do you meet them?

No. 125308

That’s barely an age gap you tool. Keep your diary in your diary.

No. 125310

18 and 24 is kind of gross if you ask me. Dude could've had a masters and is scoping out a high schooler.

No. 125311

It’s gross but so common that it’s practically normal. There is nothing weird about a 20 year old meeting and dating a 26 year old, the creep factor comes from her bf pursuing a school girl. Thread is for age gap relationships, not yet another girl was groomed.

No. 125314

How big were they at their peak? Tokio Hotel completely passed me by. One day ten years ago or something people were making jokes about them and talking about how lame they were (apparently they were musical lolcows?), assuring me they were immensely popular and I was just like “who?”. Still haven’t heard any of their songs, lol

No. 125325

"knowing that he lived a whole life before i came into the picture"

He lived a whole life by 24?

No. 125330

File: 1571153830194.jpg (530.87 KB, 1200x1282, 151210_peep_show_fear.jpg)

My bf is like 9 years older than me. We met when I was 21. He didn't seek me out due to age and we seem to match up quite well in terms of "maturity" but I still feel like I'm missing out sometimes. I really like him but I can imagine our relationship would probably be stronger if we were the same age, it defiantly doesn't make it sexier or more fun or whatever.

I often feel like my bf compares himself to me and what I've accomplished and what he hasn't at his age. He tries to hide it but I can tell it makes him feel bad. I have more free time than him and want to have fun together (and don't mind doing the work to set it up for both of us) but he's putting himself through a lot of work and schooling and is stressed out by his student loans so that gets in the way of hanging out etc.

It's also just hard to separate what is our personality and what is the age sometimes. We kind of have a Dharma/Greg or Jeremy/Mark type of relationship where I'm more ~free-spirited~ but i'm not free spirited because im in my twenties i'm free spirited because I really put having fun first tbh. It's just a value of my family that no matter how shitty stuff is you can always do a little bit to make some happiness. He doesn't outright shit on me and I'm not insane about it but I do get deflated. I can't tell if he's grumpy because he's older and is feeling the pressure of if he's just "like that"

sorry y'all thanks for this thread it was nice to vent a bit

pic related me trying to have fun with my bf

No. 125336

No. 125342

how big must the difference be to be considered an age gap relationship? Because 6 years or even 9 years like mentioned earlier isn't that wild to me but anons make it sound like they're twenty dating a man in their fifties.

No. 125346

I'm the 9 years anon do you live in the usa? That's where I'm from and it's not wildly taboo but it is kind of a long gap here to most people.

But you did sort of help because I'm starting to think my boyfriend is just spiritually an old geezer and it's not his actual age lmao.

No. 125421

I kind of feel like Americans are a lot stricter when it comes to age differences.
I live in Europe and my parents got together than she was 16 and he was 19 - which would be considered a crime in the US, right? I also know many guys in their mid 20s dating underage girls. Many even completely rule out girls their age. My friend's father is 20 years older than her mom, my 16yo coworker is dating a 30yo and nobody bats an eye. A friend of mine is 23 and dating a 17yo and while my sister and I find that gross my mom thinks it's completely a-okay. I guess it's the older generation who is very lax when it comes to stuff like that (no idea why), while younger people (but only the more educated ones) think similarly to foreigners. I also remember my friend dating a mexican guy who immediately broke it off when he found out she's underage - despite her being about to turn 18 shortly after that.

I completely disagree with OP. For centuries older man + younger woman has been the norm, but since Heidi started dating a (gross) somewhat young guy everybody and their mom has been losing their shit for months. They got together when he was in his late 20s, so no longer that vulnerable, plus she's a literal supermodel. His band is flopping hard right now, so he's essentially not any different from some dumb bimbo marrying an old dude for money, nothing to feel sorry for. I think she's annoying as hell but in this case people are only outraged because an "older" woman dares to do something out of the norm, something that men have been doing for ages.
And it's not happening super often lately, you probably can't name more than 5 examples.

No. 125424

I'm 39, men in their early 20's.
I meet them IRL, never online.

No. 125425

Do you look like a porn character?

No. 125427

men are easy and desperate for sex, no need to look like a porn character

No. 125428

Haha wow. How come MY sex life is a touchy subject for you two? Because both these comments scream you have issues.

No. 125430

I was 24 and turned down a cute 18 year old who was hitting on me very intently, maybe I should have gone for it idk

No. 125431

I'm currently in a relationship with a 25 year old man and I'm 34. (I know I'm such an oldfag.) We met when I was in college for the second time, I was almost 30 and he was 21. Anyways, it totally works and is the best relationship I've ever had. We both have well-paying jobs in tech (we both got the same CS degree) and are going to be getting a house together soon! Nobody in our lives has ever really made any issue of our gap, but then again I almost never listen/care to what other people say about me because it isn't my business.

Actually it's barely an issue or topic of conversation between us. Though when we first started dating I do remember him saying something about liking the idea of dating someone with more of their shit together. Not at all saying I'm the pinnacle of responsibility, maybe for him just in comparison to girls his age.

No. 125434

I can't imagine any 18-year-old to be good relationship material since you have to remember that they likely only got out of high school. You probably just dodged a bullet unless you just regret getting laid. Even then, I don't think teenage stupidity is worth putting up with.

No. 125436

Boy-eating cougar is just an odd archetype for a farmer. I find you very interesting.

No. 125440

I just wanted to get laid tbh

Could have sworn we've had dedicated cougar threads before. On lolcow at least it didn't seem to be a rare preference.

No. 125444

Because celebrity women have a wide variety of men to choose from so naturally they choose young hot men who can keep up with them, men who can't keep it up and take forever to get off aren't ideal partners so older men are definitely a no go, and younger men are just hotter with more hair and better skin

No. 125445

Not to mention that they're still maturing physically. In a couple years they could grow taller, get hairier, become less boyishly soft, etc.

Sadly the best bet is to go after youthful looking men in their twenties. Ideal end is a (modertely) emotionally mature 18-year-old bf who has the genes to maintain his youthful looks, since then he's cute even longer.

No. 125449

File: 1571276375744.jpeg (50.78 KB, 584x778, 1569785744152.jpeg)

My fiancé is 20 and I am 28. It's a significant difference, and our relatives always point it out. He has a huge fetish for older women/mommy types/gentle femdom and I love to inluge in it from time to time.
That being said, the main reason our relationship works out so well is that I am really immature. I'm a literal diagnosed autist kek, I still have childish interests and behavior patterns. Sometimes I feel ashamed for dating him, and I've even suggested that he should try to date women his age but he refused. I love him a lot, but sometimes I feel really gross and predatory.

No. 125454

i'm a literal diagnosed autist too and i've only dated younger men for the same reasons you've listed. i don't have an exclusive attraction to younger men either like some people might assume. i just have somewhat offbeat interests combined with a peculiar sense of humor that doesn't really click with older men. i understand the shameful feelings and it's one reason why i am finding it hard to date at the moment.

No. 125456

File: 1571289559523.jpg (376.82 KB, 1396x785, 6a4ee881-3ba4-4056-acb8-ddfd6f…)

Any anons here familiar with Aaron Taylor-Johnson? He was in Kick-Ass and a bunch other films, and was an up and coming British teen heartthrob in the late 2000s/early 2010s.

He's currently married to Sam Taylor-Wood, who is 23 years older than him. They met in 2009 when he was 18 and she was 42, after he was cast in a movie she was directing. They got engaged like a year later and she got pregnant a month after that. There was this huge controversy about it and to this day they're still defending their marriage.

I was only like 12 when it happened but I remember people who were in support of them said it was a misogyny issue (i.e "Anyone who disapproves of this relationship is sexist! Why can older men date young women but women can't date younger men? It's a double standard! People are just upset because she's an older woman, any of his fans who don't support him are just jealous and a hater!"). While there was definitely some uncalled for maliciousness (his fans would say she was hideous and he was too good for her), others (rightfully imo) pointed out that it seemed highly predatory for a women in her forties to get involved with an 18 year old. Especially since she has children who are closer to his age than she is–Imagine being 52 with a 22 year older daughter and a 29 year old husband. It all just seems weird. And just because men do it doesn't make it right for women to do it, it's definitely not "empowering" that she got with him. There's still some fans of his who think she's a predator and gross.

Anyway, a couple of months ago I saw an interview they did about their relationship and Aaron said this:

>Aaron suspects that their age difference never bothered him because his acting career thrust him into adulthood at an early age.

>“I worked in an adult environment from an early age; I had open, direct conversations with directors, producers, actors, where my opinions would be valued and matter,” he said. “I grew up pretty quickly — I left school at 15. I had a totally different upbringing from my kids.”
>He continued, “When I met Sam I’d already lived a life far beyond that of most of my contemporaries — I didn’t relate to anyone my age. I just feel that we’re on the same wavelength.”

Idk why but it just left a bad taste in my mouth; the whole "mature for my age/old soul" excuse is every age-gaps relationship's defense, and while I'm not completely against age gap relationships, there's something about this one that's just never sat right with me.

Pic is from when they first met vs. now.

No. 125457

what's awful isn't just that he was only 18, but she was in a position of power over him. And then she immediately baby trapped him too before he was probably ready to be a dad. Also him saying that his acting career made him okay with the age difference also seems like a red flag to me. He could've been around predators for so long he was desensitized to it by the time she came along.

No. 125458

File: 1571293085992.jpg (111.88 KB, 825x580, mary-kay-letourneau-vili-fuala…)

their relationship is seriously reminding me of mary-kay letourneau and vili fualaau. the only real difference is that theirs is legal but it's still an incredibly fucked up one.

No. 125459

Aaron is clearly gay, this was a business decision for him.

No. 125460

I also read many blind items about this. It makes a lot of sense actually

No. 125467

I have the same age gap; he's 27 and I'm 36 and we've been together for two years. It feels normal, there's not really anything noticeably different culturally except he watched different cartoons when he was a kid. I never usually even think about the age difference and we more or less look to be about the same age. No one has ever commented on our age difference.

The one difference is maybe that I am better at keeping things clean and taking care of responsibilities but I feel like that's a problem a lot of men have regardless of age.

No. 125473

Which one in this pic supposed to be the older one?

No. 125475

>>125431 here again, yes the cartoons is an excellent example and I relate to that! He is very much into Spongebob but that was beyond my time, and he's also never really watched the earlier seasons of the Simpsons which is some of my favorite television of all time.

No. 125507

I'm 31 and he's 23. We've been together for 3 years and we never had a serious fight. He's super reliable and I really do trust him despite of his age. The sex is amazing too, I'm ultra high libido and he never disappoints me.

No. 125977

> my parents got together than she was 16 and he was 19 - which would be considered a crime in the US, right?
Depends on the state. States have different AOC laws. I wouldn’t automatically object to a 16 year old and 19 year old dating though. Depends on the context I guess.

> my 16yo coworker is dating a 30yo and nobody bats an eye. A friend of mine is 23 and dating a 17yo

This would been seen as pretty gross in the U.S. Not to say it doesn’t happen though

No. 125994

eh, I was with a 34 year old man when I was 25, and I was still better at keeping things clean, so I don't think that's necessarily an age thing.

for the future, I want an older guy who's actually mature – or a hot younger guy. not going to deal with an older partying man child again.

yeah, Americans seem to be a bit stricter. my parents are 10 years apart. always thought that qualifies as normal (as long as they meet in their 20s/30s+. 17 & 27yo is weird).

> my 16yo coworker is dating a 30yo and nobody bats an eye.


No. 126015

the rule of thumb for this not to be socially frowned-upon would be "it's ok to date someone that's above half your age + seven years old"

No. 126016

Bullfuckingshit, it has never been "the norm". It could have been common due to the high risk of death during childbirth labor, but saying it was the norm is pandering to a cliché, such as saying that most people in medieval times married around 16 and died before 40

No. 126020

lol that is the exact gap of my parents when they met. not that weird imo.
i'm dating a guy 15 years older than me and i really like it so far but sometimes i get anxious about the future and what my family thinks. i am very nervous about future introductions, i think they will find him weird and think he's manipulating me. if this doesn't work out i will likely date another man in his 30's (i am about to be 21) because i find it really attractive and it's probably a fetish…

No. 126107

super late, I didn't see this before- but no I'm from Western Europe.

No. 126254

i cannot believe heidi klum bagged a kulitz. im so impressed. now if this was before she started running after noimi campbells leftovers, it would be no big deal. but to still be able to bag a kulitz is wooooo.

No. 126255

i cannot believe heidi klum bagged a kulitz. im so impressed. now if this was before she started running after noimi campbells leftovers, it would be no big deal. but to still be able to bag a kulitz is wooooo.

No. 126266

I find it funny if this was the same post with the genders flipped people on here would lose their shit lol

No. 133367

Define "younger"
My husband is 10 years older and the best man I've ever met, hence why I married him.

No. 133368

The trauma of being groomed and sexually abused by a 34 year old at 12 years old probably added years of stress on poor Vili.

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