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/g/ - girl talk

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No. 125500

How does getting a bf even work? Do you have to ask him “do you want to be my boyfriend”? Does it just happen organically? How do I know if someone is my bf?

No. 125503

It really depends on the situation. Most of the time after going on dates and getting closer it's pretty normal to either ask if he want's to be your boyfriend/or him to ask you. It's typically the 'what are we talk' or just making it official. It sometimes happens organically too but most people will talk about being official anyway to clarify they're on the same page.

No. 125506

You usually go on dates and the guy asks you if you wanna be his gf.
>How do I know if someone is my bf?
If you aren't sure, he isn't.

No. 125508

Make sure you don't fuck or suck him until you are exclusive (and mutually tested).

No. 125574

I don't date lol so take my advice with a pinch of salt, but I think after dating for a short while and feel like we're getting along well I would say, 'so want to make this official?' and then go from there. btw I love the gif, what is that from?

No. 125577

Excision (2012)
Really, really, REALLY gross movie, letting you know in case that bothers you.

No. 125589

If you’re unattractive or you have some mental illness or disorder like extreme social anxiety or autism that people might find off-putting, then guys aren’t probably paying attention to you or asking you out on dates. It will be pretty obvious if a guy is interested in you either by asking you out or wanting to spend more time with you and getting to know you.

No. 125595

You'll know.
I actually gave up on the idea of "searching" and eventually ended up in a relationship. The desperation makes you overthink things.
When you're "in love" you might just think about them all the time. You feel excited to see them or even hang out. You reveal a little more information bit by bit and feel comfortable. Don't treat it like a transaction or you'll lose it.

No. 125640

I asked my first boyfriend to be my boyfriend. My second one just called me his girlfriend to his friends after a couple months of dating and I smiled, so after that we were exclusive.

No. 125644

Explain more about what "giving up on searching" means
Because you don't end up in a relationship, you have to actively go out with people to even come close to a relationship
At some point, you had to say "yes, we'll go out on a date" and then a few more until you were in a relationship
Even if you aren't putting yourself out there, making dating profiles, hanging out at bars, etc etc–you still have to try to some degree

No. 125662

not the OP but I've also thought about it. So, you either ask directly or it just happens after some time of dating, okay.

In my language we don't have a separate word for "being in a relationship" and "dating", in English it seems to mean completely different things.

So, you're dating when you're… doing what? How is it different than being in a relationship? Is the only difference not calling the person your partner?
So like, if I hang out with a boy, go to the movies, for dinners etc, I don't call him anything but I'm considering him romantically, is it dating? Or does the dating begin when you go a step further - touch, kiss, sleep together - without the official bf/gf label?

No. 125668

I think people interpret it in different ways and the ways you described are definitely plausible

No. 125702

Dating and being in a relationship with someone can mean the same thing
It's contextual mostly
Dating can also mean that you are considering someone romantically and are going out on dates, but not officially in a relationship
You could be dating a couple people at the same time and not be in a relationship with any of them

No. 125723

I've always seen dating as being romantically interested in a person and actively spending time together to see if you're compatible enough for a relationship. The details of that can vary - for some people dating is just hanging out but with romantic intent, for others it also includes kissing / sex. Whereas, if I were to ask someone to be my boyfriend, it comes with added responsibility and expectations - the expectation that we try to incorporate each other into our lives (to meet family / close friends etc, show interests in their hobbies and participate as well), to be there for me emotionally and to be dedicated to developing our relationship into something that could be for the long haul.

No. 125734

I think a lot of it is context. Like personally, I only say I’m dating someone if there’s a decided level of commitment and a desire to grow together (aka boyfriend!). But I also understand when people talk about dating and they mean casually getting to know someone/people. “Talking” and “hanging out” are also sometimes ways I describe seeing someone in a more than friends way, but it’s somehow more casual than pursuing romantic interest.. like it’s sexual or just for fun because it’s not gonna go anywhere. Idk, American dating is weird and the slang is very based in context.

No. 125918

I might be pretty old-fashioned regarding dating but with both my past relationships I've just asked them if they wanted to be my boyfriend when I fell in love with him after hanging out as friends.
Only after they said yes to that and we were in a relationship did we kiss and have sex.

No. 126145

if you start talking to someone and the conversations get progressively more flirty and intimate, at a certain point it feels natural and not awkward to ask him to be your bf, or at least ask him out, in which case after a few dates that go well it would be normal to ask him to be your bf.

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