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Female Dating Strategy is a subreddit which was created in February 2019 as part of the larger arising of pp’d subreddits (such as r/vindicta, r/pinkpilledfeminism, r/trufemcels, etc.)
Female Dating Strategy is a female-only subreddit that was created in the interest of helping women to achieve their goals in dating, whether that be LTR, marriage or just FWB. It is centred entirely around maximising female benefit and minimising costs/risk. More saliently, due to its policy of being aggressively pro-female, FDS promotes a very unforgiving and cutthroat approach to interactions with males. In many respects, it is a response to the presence of the ‘manosphere’ and in particular TRP.
Ideology of FDShttps://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dugj5t/fds_guide_nonmainstream_opinions_and_strategies/
Non-mainstream opinions and strategies held by the subhttps://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/deoi18/psa_femaledatingstrategy_doesnt_believe_in_asking/
PSA on asking men outhttps://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/d22vzv/given_that_the_risks_of_sex_are_way_higher_and/
why sex shouldn’t be had easilyhttps://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dblfg2/mythology_break_down_1_men_telling_you_youll_max/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
debunking the wallhttps://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/dfeq1s/various_hacks_will_encourage_you_to_not_get/
on why career > dating for most womenhttps://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/e7m5m4/the_most_important_fds_message_you_are_not/
women are not responsible for male depravityhttps://www.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/wiki/recommended_reading
>It has been proven time and time again that asking men for their number, asking them out on dates, initiating texts with them, traveling to meet them instead of them coming to you, and splitting the bill – they don't work if you want a relationship with a man who's crazy about you, provides, and is proud to have you as their girlfriend.
Amen to this. Don't chase men, ladies. If there's one thing in current dating that really peeves me, it's this. Some women think they're being empowering by overperforming when all they're doing is attracting low-effort males who will only see these actions not as a signal of ambition, but of useful idiocy. They get the boost of ego without having to risk rejection because the woman is doing all the legwork. Don't give them this power over yourselves, you're making it too easy for them to use you.
This, the strategy is specifically for pinkpilled straight women, since most dating advice given to women is male-centred. Pick-mes would simply derail it.>>132020
Its ideology is radfem-adjacent and many of the mods/posters come from r/GC
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I’ve been browsing /FDS/ semi-regularly since around November. There are definitely some cringy aspects of the subreddit, namely certain posters and the ‘yas Queen’ twitter bullshit. Most of the ire generated by FDS I think proceeds from the fact that males have a vested interest in keeping women’s standards and self esteem low, so that they can remain competitive. The male sexual imperative involves copulating with as many fertile high value women, for the absolute lowest investment as possible. Since FDS advocates in gatekeeping access to sex until a certain degree of male investment is procured (a measure of self preservation since it’s meant to ensure you don’t get p ‘n’ d), the FDS philosophy is antagonistic towards the fulfilment of that sexual imperative. The very same people (particularly males) who whine about FDS will handwave the existence of TRP, despite it essentially being the male equivalent and just as Machiavellian.
Agreed. Men are so desperate to convince women that the lowest of standards are unreasonable.
One time I told a group of male acquaintances that I wanted a partner that took care of himself, had common interests with me, showed me respect and didn't expect me to act like his mother and they acted like I had shot all of their pets in front of them.
FDS is just taking men at their word when they say who they are.
>>132027>males have a vested interest in keeping women’s standards and self esteem low
Truth. And patriarchy is an unnatural affair that enables subpar men to spread their genes. The world would look very different if women were not oppressed and discriminated against, had good self-confidence, as we would only pick the most suitable and good men. We can still remember our value and only choose the men that lives up to our standards.
Still wondering how much luck FDS anons have with making men pay for everything though. That seems to be one of the most important rules of that sub.
Thats so funny to me because usually the male protagonists in romance novels are straight up rapists or apathetic assholes. The 50 shades boom produces many novels with abusive
males leads and almost all classics from like the 70s are also problematic
as fuck. Scrotes are sperging about shit they have no clue about as always.
>>132032>The world would look very different if women were not oppressed and discriminated against, had good self-confidence, as we would only pick the most suitable and good men
Definitely. The other part of their strategy is to ensure women are DESPERATE to be married and have children before a certain age. Men use scare and shame tactics incessantly against women who dare not to do either or wait until they are older, because a woman who refuses to play the game is a direct threat to male interests. The combination of low standards/self esteem + a time limit for when we are 'good enough' to find a partner ensures scrots get to marry women who are much younger and better looking than them. Then they treat their wives like garbage with no consequences, because men also revile single mothers to give them incentive to stay with shitty men no matter what.
Women have to become comfortable with the idea of being alone if we're ever going to change male behaviour for the better and keep ourselves safe.
If it's inappropriate and he's trying to hide it, don't chase him, anon. Have dignity and don't shit where you eat. >>132029
You all gotta stop talking to online weirdos (I mean we are too, but women aren't degenerates like moids) and talk to some normies with core values who understand that women also want to be attracted to their partner. If you have to date men, find one who plays sports and at least has a nice body and understands teamwork.
>1.Be a high value woman.
Everywhere we go, we are treated like fucking objects. Ffs, stop it. Women don't have a value, we aren't related to the Stock Market in any way. We are human, thanks.
>She has her own career, hobbies, and a great social life that fulfills her emotional needs.
"you have to be the perfect, flawless bussiness woman to start dating correctly"
Yikes. I understand some of the points they are trying to come across but the phrasing is wonky. I know it's trying to tell women to develop themselves without focusing on males, but at the same time it can be read as "be perfect or no quality man will look at you twice".
I'm going to tell you a secret, anons. Don't date. At all. Why suffer through all of this when you can just forget about dating and, as the first rule says, focus on your life?? Men are all the same, if you don't like their general behaviour (male socialization) you won't like any of them. There's no special-snowflake-prince-charming waiting for you out there, and sure as hell there's no (rad)feminist man who will understand you. The sooner you understand this, the better.
Never been on FDS but I've never had trouble with it.
Works best if you act willing to pay/split and then they'll insist on paying for you.
At least that's how it's always been with me when I dated.
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I have a problem with FDS because they all seem to chase the same type of man. For me, a high value man is emotionally stable, caring, patient, not hypersexual (ideally a virgin), good looking, youthful somewhat feminie, loyal, etc. I wouldn't want a guy who pays for anything and is a provider or an "alpha" male. I'm curious if any anons feel the same?
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I read it some time ago, but I remember being kind of uncomfortable with how the relationship between the 30 year old woman and the (14-15?) boy was developed. Like, the woman couldn't restrain herself from being attracted to him, so she ghosted the kid for years. Eh… Reminds me of some lolicon mangas where the teacher is OBVIOUSLY ATTRACTED to the 6 year old kid but he tries not to give in to his fantasies (yuck)…
Sorry for derailing.
This, a high value man to me is empathetic and virginal as well.
But I also think the philosophy behind FDS is that no naturally kind males exist so seeking these sorts out is pointless, and that only money and looks can be the benefits of engaging with men.
Keeping track of the value of gifts sounds like a controlling fucking nightmare. Gifts are gifts. There's no obligation put on someone for accepting them and there isn't a scale you have to balance.
This seems like a pretty big red flag.
Actually I don't see too much of that on there. Its mainly taking care of yourself and building yourself up. Not looking for a man who will provide for you all the way.
Looking for man to pay for your date is not the same thing.
The problem with gold digging is not having your own money and therefore relying on a man for it. Another problem is lowering your standards in other areas in order to prioritize money. It's not the same as expecting a man to invest financially in you to prove he's actually interested and not just trying to get the easiest fuck possible out of your interactions, and I've never seen FDS encourage women to date or 'finesse' old men, the opposite is more common.
I can understand finding it uncomfortable. I've always liked to pay for myself for a few reasons… so he doesn't think I owe him anything, so he knows I'm not poor, and yes, in a pickme-esque fashion I didn't want to be seen as a gold digger. I just genuinely don't need a guy's money so it felt like selling myself short if I acted like I did, as if we aren't equal even in finances. But men have pretty much forced our hand, if we could assume they weren't trying to get low effort sex out of every date, if we could be equal without them taking advantage at every opportunity, we wouldn't need to vet them like this.
On reddit they're all obsess with providing and I've seen typical Sugar bb tweets like "dating young men is like an unpaid internship"….It's also very common in women's forums.
A rich guy taking you to fancy restaurants and buying you a bag, isn't doing more effort than the poor guy buying you McDonalds. Providing isn't a sign of respect or commitment. Young women are easily impress with money and they should not.
It's just about common sense. Of course, someone really interested in you will do efforts. Of course you should care about yourself first, especially when you're young.
Idk too much "YAASSS QUEEN" shit in FDS and when you see the posters history, you see women that have dated drug dealers or else. I mean…
I didn’t say that. What I said is that for a rich man, buying you a bag isn’t much and doesn’t mean shit. Some of these men have bitches in every city and a whole hidden family.
I don’t say that dating a fucking bum is better. The two partners should have the same vision of life and equivalent status.
I agree with your point. How can you be 18yo and expect men your age to provide for you?
They're telling those women to seek mid to late 20s men at best if they wanna be provided for.
Why would you post this here? no sense of coding jfc >>132068
No there isn't, It's just common with girls in the sugaring community
This I grew up with my mom doing th cleaning and working two physical jobs whilst her lard ass potato husband called me fat.
LVM are the worst
>>132031>literally teenage girls >juvenile
Well, yes, but no need to be bitter about it. I skimmed through this thread and that board, and none of this talk has anything to do with my life as a middle aged woman. But us older people have no need for such things, we know what we want and how to get it (spoiler alert: It's different for everybody). It's natural that the younger someone is, the more they'll be drawn towards stuff like this as part of their learning experience and experimentation.
That's not "cringy", just common sense.
So what if one women has higher standards than average? You're just assuming that she doesn't have anything to offer herself. Hot girls can afford to have high standards.
Why are men allowed to go for women way above their league but said woman is shallow if she won't settle for his broke, ugly fatass?
If incels want to use that to fuel their defeatist mindset that's their fucking problem. They're going to cry either way.
I knew I had seen this phrase on /r9k/ beforehttps://desuarchive.org/r9k/search/text/666%20figures/
I cant find an instance of it before the first posts date on there so they probably literally invented it as a misogynist meme
I’m sick of anons coming here like ~we’re just proving the incels right, we’re just as bad as them uwu~
Women who are highly attractive and accomplished really should
have high standards. It’s not unusual for a man to have standards that surpass their own assets, the incels are very guilty of this.
I personally use FTS as a way to get a partner who is equal to myself. Insecurity has lead me to date guys who are far lesser than myself, thinking they’d appreciate and be nice to me, but I ended up being abused, and I left the relationship as a diminished person. I want a man who is good in bed, not ugly, not badly groomed and a good conversationalist, ambitious and creative. All of those are assets I know I have to offer myself. I deserve to expect a man that matches me in quality and status, and I’d rather be alone than settle for less. If men and handmaidens want to cry about it then tough shit.
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I was thinking about creating thread on /snow/ based on incels forum (much like the fun r/incels threads we had few years ago), so I've been "researching" and the standards they all have simply floored me. Out of around 200 active users, there are maybe a couple willing to "settle" for their "looksmatch" (of course, only if she is a young white virgin). There are literally only two users who'd be willing to date a non-virgin woman around their age who is just as (un)attractive as them. Two out of two hundred have somewhat realistic/reasonable standards. And yet, I don't see anyone making fun of that. Those men are the lowest value males you can think of - NEETs, horrible hygienie, extremely unattractive, they often have BPD/NPD, they are almost all pedos (as in, literal pedos - they want to date 11yos), violent, lazy, etc. And all of them have sky high standards.
Just think about those men every time you get angry at attractive women who want o date attractive men.
I have high standards but they don't come in the form of a set height, salary and dick size. To me she sounds like scrotes saying they will only be in a relationship with a woman who has D cups minimum. It's not having a preference for taller men, bigger dicks and large wallets that's weird, it's autistically fixing a minimum size and making it such a priority.
A man, no matter how attractive, smart and rich he is would immediately looks pathetic to me if he had a minimal bra size as a primary criteria when looking for a relationship.
I mean I agree to a certain extent, it just doesn’t bother me. I don’t have a set menu for what’s attractive, like being 6 ft with a 6 inch would make a man seem more attractive im not gonna lie, but I’d be far more attracted to a guy 5’8 with a smaller dick if I got along well with him, found him interesting and funny and he pleased me in bed, similar interests and values etc.
I don’t want a prize, the way some of these people do, I want a companion. I say 5’8 cos I’m fairly tall for a woman, I’m just barely shorter than that.
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Well let me tell you ladies something: Ever since applying the FDS lens to dating, it's been very eye-opening. I'm in so much shock about how much disrespect I used to tolerate and was gaslit into believing was normal.
These men literally have nothing else to offer but the audacity!
Right now I'm relying on online dating (OLD) to meet new men. Can't say I had better luck meeting men through friends as they turned out to be monsters too. But I digress.
Anyway when I finally match with someone who seems compatible, they wind up being such low effort fucks. Because clearly they're spinning so many other women behind our backs. They want to get the most sex for the least effort and maximum convenience. So no offers to have a first date over dinner or something pricey to impress (date cheap, if not for free), attempt to manipulate the woman to take on the emotional load (make her chase, ask questions, and plan the dates), and to set the meetup location at their convenience (the woman is forced to be more invested by spending time and money to meet).
Matched with this dude who wasn't my type looks-wise but appeared to be put together due to his clean and stylish living conditions and hobbies. He reached out but I put him on the backburner for a few days. When I returned the message he wanted to meet up. I asked him what he was proposing. "Drinks," I was thinking sure–cheap. I hate having first dates in loud and crowded places.
I went along with it just to see where it went. Found myself asking the majority of the questions to drag his own date out of him. Pathetic right? If men ask women out they should already have an offer wtf.
When? And where? Saturday, okay. Time? "6pm." I laughed, I told him that's when people have dinner not drinks (he'd rather go cheap than spend for dinner). Instead of offering dinner, he wanted to push back the time. "8pm." Lol, sure dude. Okay, where for drinks? "[The nearest bar to where I live]." He didn't even bother to check where I was driving from to meet him at a venue that's literally 10 minutes from his place. And he didn't care, because his next statement? "Yeah we can get drinks and see where it goes from there. You can come back to my place and watch Netflix."
So basically this dude is expecting sex for less than the cost of a dinner date, with the added perk that I'd get gussied up and drive myself to him just for his dick.
I replied "Very convenient," then he responded "…okay?" Then he must have went back to my profile before I blocked him, because then he followed up with a "Oh you live in X?" Lmao, I guess he thought I'd throw myself at him.
These men are fucking creeps. What I hate most of all is that not even a month ago I would have agreed to this shitfest. Me expending all the effort just for an awkward and subpar fuck at the end of my night who I'd never speak to again.
Honestly unless your dating pool is mostly Hispanic guys for whatever reason, it's really not unreasonable to expect a guy to be above 5'10"
I hate that manlets make it out to be this huge deal.
Tbh the most abusive
men Ive known have been manlets. They're insecure as fuck.
I don't think the rest of the 666 rule matters much though, depending on your age. If you're in your early/mid twenties it's more important to know a mans work ethic and his career plans than what his current salary is.
For anyone into FDS, I highly recommend The Rules Revisited blog. It's not very well-known but it's one of the greatest female dating blogs I've ever read. Better than the actual "Rules" book.
I recommend reading the Important Posts in the sidebar first; the other posts are just building on those ones. >>132085
Good for you anon. As soon as a guy gives me a lame response (short, no question to follow up) I unmatch them. If he was really interested, he would at least put in some effort
Desperate women allowed this to happen
When I was still dating (a year ago) most of it involved>Only being able to see them if you drove>Dates involved you paying for shit or just having sex and leaving, after a few dates all you would be to him is to come over at 12 pm, give him a blowjob and have shitty sex and leave>No affection, no compliments, no cuddling, no kissing and if there was it was gross/an excuse for him to judge your body
That's it. That's literally it. I was so used to being abused by men my boyfriend was getting a culture shock, I would cry anytime he cuddled me because I simply never got that before and he seemed so sad because I just assumed he wanted to have sex with me and had me leave. I wouldn't allow him to take off my clothes because most of the time when a man took my clothes off all I got was insulted, I was so use to being cold it hurt my current bf when we first started dating because I have a really fucked up idea of what relationships are.
Men get handed everything in dating nowadays
Unless you're willing to be a mommy sex slave to every man that asks you're fucked
>>132101>If men get desperate maybe they'll start to make effort with women.
But how do we get rid of pickmes who allow this to happen? Men will get what they can get while putting in the lowest amount of effort possible, as long as if there is okay looking women willing to give themselves to low effort and bottom tier men, then men won't ever improve and the only people to reproduce is desperate pickmes who are going to be horrible influences on their daughters and mentally ill and selfish men who are going to be horrible influences on their sons
I'm honestly scared to see where the world will go, men will continue to deteriorate into greasy blobs who do nothing but cheat, fart, play video games and watch porn all day, women will be the ones who have to work hard on their careers to make money to support men, work out to keep their figure in check, all while doing the cleaning, cooking, child bearing, and so on. Men don't deserve women, mass suicide seems like a liable option at this point
Look for the guy who doesn't want a pick-me*
*not a femcel, take my words with a grain of salt
What's that even supposed to mean?>>132103
That would be lovely if they existed. What men want and what men say they want are two different things, men can talk shit all day about how desperate women who live for male attention are pathetic and unattractive but still fall for whatever pickme manipulates them. Men are practically monkey brained
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If his favourite book is a fitness related book, then it's likely he has some self loathing issues to some degree, If a guy has a standard genetic exercise advice book then you should be okay but if his favourite book is Sun and Steel, RUN away and never look back. If he has art related books then make sure its works related to art fundamentals and or the old masters and not weeb shit, I don't know much about guys who are into gardening and zoology though
Not necessarily bad that he may be boring. Books on plants chickens and beekeeping sound nice. Maybe gardening and cooking too. Idk maybe it's just my vision to be more self sufficient with home keeping and food into the future and if some guy likes that too, it's a win>>132119
Oh God aristotle being anti woman isn't talked about enough. He considered women being treated well, like fellow human beings, as barbaric. Be cautious with men who praise him
Ngl that sounds appealing to me. It's basic, simple and cute>>132130
not that anon, but I bet they'll be denial. And use the sex scenes in game of thrones as evidence that women were 100% shaven everywhere. Ive witnessed too many guys used GoT as a history lesson
Most men obsessed with WWII or history won't be able to handle life back then
Calling women gold diggers for paying for dinner, back then they would have to support her financially if they even want to think about a wife
Calling women fat, ugly, out of shape, etc
Most women back then didn't look like porn stars, even Marilyn Monroe would be relentlessly mocked by men nowadays
Women not shaving but most women had bushes and hairy armpits
"Wife bad" jokes were mocked, you HAD to learn to be happy with your wife
I'm always suspicious at big posts with no history because it's a throwaway and no comments from the poster.
But really >For about 3 years I slept on the floor instead so I wouldn't be bothered.
Paid for everything and yet sleeps like a dog. Well no, worse than. Dogs sleep on comfy beds. She's on the damn floor. And shes hesitant on leaving because he doesn't know how to care for himself… Christ.
Women have only themselves to blame. They got their sexual freedom and started fucking random idiots when they should have been selecting their men thoroughly.
It's funny, if FDS and RP were to meet halfway and reach a compromise we'd all go back to a traditional society.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
nothing wrong with Sun and Steel>>132118
it's just ancient-themed self-improvement>>132123
muh empathy, imagination, attention… start recognizing areas that women lack in these areas if you really believe that. you might see past your biases and blindspots (e.g. maybe look at incel boards and appraise it for truth-value not your rationalizations). you are on a chan board too, so your whole statement is self-defeating>>132129
porn addiction is a big problem, start showing some empathyhttps://www.yourbrainonporn.com/relevant-research-and-articles-about-the-studies/(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Stoicism in itself is not bad. The modern day followers of it tend to have a superiority complex and use stoicism as an excuse for lacking empathy and acting like a general narc. "I'm not emotional like you/women. I'm stoic/logical." Aka "I have the authority listen to me."
As for porn addiction, I have 0 empathy towards men. You rarely see women addicted to it, and it's from the perspective of being the sub (abused). Porn made by men for men is violent, exploits children as well due to demand. For scrotes having a love of quoting statistics and pulling up numbers for divorce cases, they sure like to ignore information on this. Front page of porn website is facials, abusing relatives, anal, etc. This is on the tame side. Stop boo hooing for men. They gaslight us our whole lives as unintellectual, but we're supposed to forgive that they just completely ignore obvious patterns of sexism in the content they watch. The problem is I see men as human and would check that behavior if porn addiction affected me. Most men who go nofap, don't do it because porn is bad for those involved, but just because he wants to "retain semen" or "boost testosterone." He thinks it makes him even more masculine and desirable, which seems fine and dandy, until he uses this newfound ego to be an ass, all while claiming to be an intellectual stoic, this was his notice to begin with. Everything is about making males feel better. The whole point of this thread is to stop coddling them.
You'll find there's a large and growing movement of men against porn for scientific, cultural, political and religious reasons. These are men who got exposed to it at a young age before they can reflect critically on it. It really is addictive, it's a supernormal stimulus that keeps people hooked the way gambling, cocaine and video games do.
I've spent a good deal of time in those forums, and the reasons they want to quit aren't reducible just to ego-boosting. Many of them report one day how far down the hole they'd gone when they realise how niche and grotesque the stuff they need to watch to get off, compared to the vanilla stuff that used to satiate within seconds.
The superpowers are signs of returning to normality. For guys who've been going at it since a young age (and it gets younger each year), it's a very transformative experience. Especially given that so many are adolescent and trying to get their lives going. The porn has the dehumanising effect. So many reports I've read affirm how happy they are to be free from it's grip and in the company of real women. They all report marked improvements in their relationship with women. That YBOP site has plenty of studies aligned with that too.
The irony of r/femaledatingstrategy is it's a complete mirror image of the redpill/ manosphere / MRA / incel cluster, but women aren't being called out for it. I'm all for an even playing field, and the coddling/condemnation is clearly unevenly distributed by issue for either of the sexes.
>>133110>The irony of r/femaledatingstrategy is it's a complete mirror image of the redpill/ manosphere / MRA / incel cluster
You can't be serious. Care to elaborate? Yeah, some aspects of fds can be pretty cringy and juvenile, however, it's not anywhere close to levels of malice and violence present in male circles. Top posts on fds are screenshots of lackluster guys saying embarrassing things, or girls' personal experiences with abusive
men, while those male communities are filled with posts like "can't wait for female sex slaves!", "women above 20 are old hags", "here's a guide on how to emotionally manipulate, destroy and cheat on women far above your league". FDS is more about adjusting your standards (men should initiate and court) rather than manipulating and lying to potential male partners through "game". It's about having firm standards. Why does it offend you so much? Is it because you can't meet them?
I only see men complaining about porn once they reach the point where their dick doesn't work from it. When it takes a death grip to get them off and when they can't perform real life normal sex.. that's when they care.
Sure some of them will pretend to care about how porn affects women, but that's secondary to their dick not working anymore.
im married now but back when i was still dating i would just straight up ask if they wanna hang out or whatever it is i wanted to do w them tbh. if theyre getting fuccboi-ish about it i'd just block and move on. just didn't wanna talk to someone that wants to play mind games and it has saved me a ton of headache.
don't get too blinded by some positive things you see in a stranger you don't actually know. there are many more like them out there!
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Should I be uncomfortable about these sorts of interactions between my bf and his ex. Bf is blue ex is red. In the pic she’s wearing his underwear. I’m friends with her and we’re on good-ish terms but still i don’t know why he’d be okay with seeing this
I’m livid why can’t he have some self control and stop embarrassing me like this
Anons, am I a being jealous/insane? It's not the first time I've spoken to him about his register in their interactions. It really, really pisses me off, I'm actually foaming at the mouth over this shit.
She must think I'm such a pushover, I'm so, so embarrassed
He's keeping her sweet for later (or maybe for right now?)
I had a friend who was like this exactly, and he platonically dated and semi-romantically messaged a lot of girls on the side while having a main gf.
She's also an ass to be posting pics in your boyfriends underwear and house while he is very obviously taken. Hop off his dick, lady. They are both at fault here, it is disrespectful to you for him to be so obviously keeping the ex sweet like this.
If you don't have kids you don't need a successful, high paying career, just a steady full time job.
This isn't really a question for a dating thread, there's a career thread in /ot/.
>>133131>Selective women are evil
That's the opposite of what I said lol. Women should have sex ONLY with good men. That way, women shape men as a group into being good – since being good is the only way to get sex. TRP as a movement exists only because women are being lax in their vetting. The less mysoginistic values of TRP – self-improvement and independence – are enforced by FDS vetting.
Women need to stop fucking men that aren't good for them. I've seen literally homeless men get steady sex from his girlfriends. Why the fuck would other men even try?
>>133117>it's not anywhere close to levels of malice and violence present in male circles
Isn't it? It seems just as hateful as TRP. The top/sidebar posts by staff are pretty good and have a surprising clarity in them but the comments are becoming increasingly substance-less, radical and hateful. Early TRP used to be like this too until everything was drowned out by man children who never got past the anger phase. It remains to be seen whether FSD will suffer from a similar phemomenon as the userbase grows but generally the more users you have the worse the community.
Both communities are filled with people deeply disillusioned with the other sex and the hate is likely to only ever increase as members of the community reinforce each other. Both encourage members to adopt radical and uncompromising strategies towards the other sex. Both look down on people who betray the interests of their own sex (chumps marrying their oneitis vs. pickmes indulging LVMs).
FSD is totally fine with LVMs literally dying off or having their dicks rot from lack of use. They're also opposed to them getting any release via prostitution or even porn. Given that LVMs are the vast majority of men according to FSD, I question the stability of a society where FSD is a dominant ideology. Not that TRP is any better since it discourages marriage. A society where everyone is able to form families and raise children properly is most sensible.
Why should LVM be able to get married and form families? For the record, LVM doesn't mean low income, introverted, shy, unambitious, or whatever LVM think it means. These things alone do not make a man LV. By the very definition a LVM is a man who will mistreat their wife and be a poor life partner and father. This doesn't necessarily mean abuse either. It could be neglect, laziness, apathy, or whatever. Not everyone should be entitled to marriage and children. Sad fact is, most men are just not suited to be in a relationship, while most women tend to go above on beyond. That's why there's a need for them to be "picky"
The truth is when it comes to dating, the majority of men need to be weeded out. It's a woman's job to do so. It has nothing to do with hate or malice. It's a simple matter of self-preservation and preservation of her children (if the woman in question decides to have them). While with TRP, everything they do is out of anger and hate that they didn't get their dick wet.
>>133412>A society where everyone is able to form families and raise children properly is most sensible.
This is the world you live in right now. Do you see healthy and happy societies?
Why are you so opposed to the idea that some people are better than others, and that these people should be the ones breeding?
The truth of the matter is, the vast majority of the people born today are either from rape or an ambivalent pregnancy. Why should any of these people be born, and why should their parents have been born either?
>>133413>Why should LVM be able to get married and form families?
If most men are LVM, then HVM are rare and it stands to reason not every woman will be able to have one. Currently FDS has about 50k subscribers, meaning it represents an elite group of women. If applied on a wider scale, problems are likely to arise.
I'd like to believe there is some way to integrate these people into such a society. FDS doesn't give them any options: no relationships, no casual sex, no prostitution, not even porn. They aren't entitled to any of this but it doesn't change the fact the result will be a huge number of very unhappy men. One could say LVMs could become HVMs and therefore gain fair access to relationships and sex but I doubt anyone on FDS believes they are capable of improvement.
>It has nothing to do with hate or malice.
Doesn't feel that way. A lot of women on FDS talk about LVM like they're subhumans.
>While with TRP, everything they do is out of anger and hate that they didn't get their dick wet.
I don't dispute that. TRP nowadays is filled with people who get off on the anger and don't actually do anything to improve their own worth. The core of TRP has a salvageable message involving self-improvement and becoming someone women are actually attracted to but that takes hard work which many guys simply don't put in.
>>133414>Why are you so opposed to the idea that some people are better than others, and that these people should be the ones breeding?
Not sure if it's wise to accept this. Many atrocities have been justified through this line of reasoning. It implies certain people are subhuman.
>The truth of the matter is, the vast majority of the people born today are either from rape or an ambivalent pregnancy
I don't know if that's true.
>>133422>If most men are LVM, then HVM are rare and it stands to reason not every woman will be able to have one.
Is that not what's happening now? Most women can't find HVM so they settle for LVM. FDS is just telling you not to settle, to know your worth and to not give up. If you find a HVM, great. If not, being single is way better than even taking the chance of birthing a child to a man who would mistreat you and your children.
>They aren't entitled to any of this but it doesn't change the fact the result will be a huge number of very unhappy men.
They would be unhappy in a relationship too, though. A lot of them end up resenting their wives no matter how much she does for them. The ones without a relationship think their lives would change once they find the right woman, but that just doesn't happen. They're alone for a reason, and it's usually because of their bitter personalities.
>One could say LVMs could become HVMs
That's what should happen. What will probably happen very soon is, they'll get addicted to VR sex or sexbots and leave everyone else alone.
>Doesn't feel that way. A lot of women on FDS talk about LVM like they're subhumans.
Usually towards men who are violent and hurt women. And those men are indeed subhuman.
>>133424>FDS is just telling you not to settle
This is sensible advice when it comes to LVMs. Do perfect HVMs exist, though? They will no doubt have some problems. How much variance, if any, from their targets should women be prepared to accept? I've seen one thread where a woman rejected a fine HVM solely because of his dick size, a factor that in no way contributes to mistreatment of women or children.
Is it acceptable for women to be single forever if they don't find an HVM? Is it acceptable to go without sex in order to avoid indulging lesser men? From what I've read, FDS doesn't approve of casual sex or friends with benefits.
>They would be unhappy in a relationship too, though.
I'm inclined to agree. What LVMs want most is unconditional access to sex in order to validate their own self-worth. They want lovers who have sex with them despite their failings. Giving them sex keeps them happy but it obviously does nothing to cure them of their problems.
>What will probably happen very soon is, they'll get addicted to VR sex or sexbots and leave everyone else alone.
I was under the impression FDS opposed this kind of thing on principle, just like prostitution.
>Usually towards men who are violent and hurt women.
Not always, unfortunately.
>>133426>How much variance, if any, from their targets should women be prepared to accept? I've seen one thread where a woman rejected a fine HVM solely because of his dick size, a factor that in no way contributes to mistreatment of women or children.
If someone turns down a guy who is otherwise perfect simply because of his dick, then they are retarded.
>Is it acceptable to go without sex in order to avoid indulging lesser men? From what I've read, FDS doesn't approve of casual sex or friends with benefits.
I'll get shit for this, or get called misogynistic, but I think if you aren't prepared for the risk, no matter how small, to have a child with that man then you shouldn't have sex with him. Casual sex is risky in many ways and not to mention unsatisfying. Let's be real, LVMs don't try. Most women can get themselves off way better than any man can. The only reason to have sex with them is for validation and approval, so what's the point? He gets his orgasm and ego boost, while the woman benefits minimally, if at all.
>I was under the impression FDS opposed this kind of thing on principle, just like prostitution.
Not at all. If they are busy with VR and sexbots they aren't going to try to harass women for sex. It's a win-win.
>>133422>If applied on a wider scale, problems are likely to arise.
Like what, men actually stepping up to the plate and treating women well enough to be high value? LVM dying alone as they deserve?
I'm sure there would be violent pushback and maybe strikes or some shit from men and that's scary to think about, but it's sad that aside from an 'elite group', women would have to universally subject themselves to men who treat them like shit just to avoid the threat of further violence. >>133427>If someone turns down a guy who is otherwise perfect simply because of his dick, then they are retarded.
Nope. If that's going to make her sincerely unattracted to him, neither of them deserve to be subjected to that relationship. He deserves a woman who'd love his dick, she deserves a man she actually wants to fuck. Physical attraction is NOT an unfair standard regardless of what body part it is about. I've dumped a guy down for it and no regrets, ever. I liked him enough to know he deserves a gf who is super into him.
You don't know what FDS is if you think subjecting yourself to bad sex with a man you aren't sexually attracted to is, in any way, a good thing.
I don't want small dicks in my body and men can die mad about it. I am perfectly happy with an average dick or dying alone if i can't have that bare minimun standard met.
>>133429>men actually stepping up to the plate and treating women well enough to be high value?
That'd be ideal but it's probably not gonna happen.
>LVM dying alone as they deserve?
Probably. Lots of women too since HVM are rare and it's better for them to be alone.
>I'm sure there would be violent pushback and maybe strikes or some shit from men and that's scary to think about, but it's sad that aside from an 'elite group', women would have to universally subject themselves to men who treat them like shit just to avoid the threat of further violence.
Yeah, it's an ugly situation. Like it or not, a huge number of undesirable men exist and many of them are important parts of the workforce. They can't simply be ignored. We already have disgruntled incels shooting up schools.
>He deserves a woman who'd love his dick, she deserves a man she actually wants to fuck.
I understand that. For the vast majority of women, a thick penis will be better due to the sensitivity of the vagina to expansion. Smaller pemises simply aren't going to expand the vagina as much. There's no denying this.
Still, it's demoralizing when factors that can't be changed ultimately destroy one's chances for a relationship even if everything else aligns. A lot of men don't even bother trying because they're short or have small or even average dicks. This nihilism is at the root of black pill and related ideas. FDS is right when it says penis size warps the psychology of men.
>>133412>Isn't it? It seems just as hateful as TRP. The top/sidebar posts by staff are pretty good and have a surprising clarity in them but the comments are becoming increasingly substance-less, radical and hateful
Okay. I dare you to show ONE comment or thread advocating for stealing from and raping men, turning them into sex slaves, raping little boys and brutally murdering them. ONE.>LVM
Those LVM discussed by most FDS posters are abusvie, neglectful menchildren. It has nothing to do with looks, height, shy personality, etc. It's about respecting your partner and being willing to commit. I'm perfectly fine with those men not having any outlets. It's the only way they can actually improve.
Under 5 inches and/or noticeably thin at any length. Most sex I've had was probably between 5-6 inches and that's fine by me.
9 is such a tiny minority of men that it's not even worth considering, it's too unlikely you will ever encounter a dick that big. 7+ is big to me. I think a lot of women overestimate sizes they see irl tbh.
Also, I just made a post in r/foreveralonedating or whatever it's called
Was that a smart move or nah?
>>133429> Like what, men actually stepping up to the plate and treating women well enough to be high value?
That makes no sense - no man can 'step up' and become taller, or get a bigger dick, or not be balding, etc. All things that FDS consider to make a LVM.
All FDS does is make both men and women miserable. If you have most women chasing only 10% of men, then 90% of men will be miserable. The remaining 10% will have lots of choices, and so have no need to settle down, making 100% of the women unhappy.
Talking about red pill, not incel boards. I realize there's significant overlap these days but it wasn't always so. Red pill hate is disappointment that women can't live up to our expectations and fantasies, a "can't blame a dog for acting like a dog" sentiment towards women. There's plenty of that in FDS. The day I posted I saw one woman saying she'd never take men seriously ever again and that they're servants to her from now on. There's that undercurrent everywhere. The feeling that we're all beneath you.
What you describe is incel aggressiveness that slowly builds up in a man that doesn't get sex. It's a terrible frustration that consumes the man. Your "no" is offensive to them. It implies their genetic material, their very being is garbage. A woman judging the worth of a man is offensive – how can they be productive, respected members of society and still get rejected by a woman? Other men can value an incel but not a woman. So they replace your value system with theirs. So that men can have access to women according to their own value relative to each other instead of their value to the women. This ranges from "the father must choose an appropriate suitor for his daughter to marry" to "we should chain all women to walls spread eagle so that they're always available for us to fuck". This is the source of the violence and aggressiveness in porn.
>It has nothing to do with looks, height, shy personality, etc.
All it takes to find examples of women who take this stuff into account is searching FDS for "height" or "dick". One neat example is a woman's 666 criteria: 6 feet, 6 inches, 6 figures. Shy personality? FDS women will write you off as weak willed with no attitude if you don't approach them confidently. They call it "big dick energy".>>133601>All FDS does is make both men and women miserable.
Red pill too to be honest. Everyone's angry and disappointed with each other and the hate is growing even stronger as time passes. I genuinely think traditional societies are a compromise between FDS and red pill. Men were socially conditioned by other men to be the best they could be and provide everything they could for their wives, but they also had the right to have sex with their wives.(male)
>>133601>All FDS does is make both men and women miserable.
It's almost as if exclusively pursuing individual desires and constantly thinking about pointless sex and relationships is wasting the talent and skills of actual people.
I can only imagine how skilled and talented proponents of FDS and their male equivalents would be if they devoted even half
the time to strict devotion to a community based ideology (ie their local community, their family, their nation, their spirituality).
Why should everyone get to have sex? Why should everyone get to be in a relationship, based on purely individualistic desires?
Just because they were born? Is that really the only standard we're going to have for an act that literally produces the next generation?
>>133605>but they also had the right to have sex with their wives.
they still have that right now. unless youre talking about spousal rape>>132067
shera's a mess, but she's one of the few people under the fds umbrella pushing things to the ideological limit and i appreciate it. trp has no qualms about lying to women, cheating on them, benefiting off them or generally acting in bad faith. i like to see a similar perspective from the fds side.
>>133613>Why should everyone get to have sex? Why should everyone get to be in a relationship, based on purely individualistic desires?
Because it's part of being human. We have a natural desire to have sex, without it we'd have died as a species. People who want sex but can't have it are marginalized, subhuman. They're literally lacking part of their humanity.>>133635>they still have that right now. unless youre talking about spousal rape
I'm talking about the idea that having sex with one's spouse is a duty that applies to both men and women.
>>133655>People who want sex but can't have it are marginalized, subhuman
Wow now that sounded nihilistic and bleak asf, are you an incel yourself?, stop projecting, if people want sex and can't have it that makes them virgins, not literal human scum, don't you have any other skills or goals?, you sound like a cumbrain robot straigth from the basement, acting like sex is the only shit that matters, and no, don't say you meant it as ~only a part of being human~ when you clearly go around telling people to die for not acting like babymachines.
>>133601>All FDS does is make both men and women miserable.
Except if you've ever been on FDS, you'd notice endless posts about how much happier the women are, and how much better their self esteem is. If you actually internalize the principles, you're going to be perfectly happy even if you're single, because you don't live for male approval or settling just to tick off the marriage and kid boxes on the life script.
And you'd also notice that looks are not the defining factor in what makes a man high value or low value. Short, balding pindicks most likely don't meet most of the girls standards, but value is defined by how he treats a woman. If you're attracted to a manlet who commits and treats you well, he's high value. >>133655>without it we'd have died as a species
But we could easily keep reproducing with a majority of men not getting sex, the idea that everyone needs to be paired up is an artificial social construct that has nothing to do with the species surviving. There's nothing natural about the nuclear family or women being dependent on one man for her/her kids survival. Sucks to be the failed men who never pass on their genes but maybe they should be less repulsive and evil.
I'm honestly thinking you're a scrot at this point. Boo hoo, poor men not getting sex, roasties are gonna get btfo when they end up alone for having standards, people have a 'duty' to be sexually accessible solely because they're married… lmao fuck off with that shit.
Never said it was the only thing that matters. It's wrong to simply dismiss relationships and sex as "pointless individual pursuits" though. Lots of people want this and feel as if they are lesser for not having it. Not subhuman in the literal ape gorilla sense but in the incomplete lacking the full human experience sense.>>133663>the idea that everyone needs to be paired up is an artificial social construct that has nothing to do with the species surviving>There's nothing natural about the nuclear family or women being dependent on one man for her/her kids survival.
Well, so is marriage, momogamous relationships. Societies that lack these elements have existed in the past but FDS isn't keen on returning to them. FDS women don't seem to think much of men who refuse to commit, marry or are polyamorous. It's not strictly necessary for everyone to be paired up, yet FDS clearly exists to help women get paired up with the best man possible.
>roasties are gonna get btfo when they end up alone for having standards
HVMs are a minority and therefore not every woman will get one. Never said they're gonna get "btfo" or anything. FDS says that being alone is good compared to being with an LVM, not that being alone is good in general.
>people have a 'duty' to be sexually accessible solely because they're married…
They don't, not anymore. That's a traditional/religious concept. I'm not arguing for this shit. It's interesting because it seemed like a compromise between what FDS and RP want.
Redpill is retarded bullshit that doesn't work and ruins it's adherets lives. Stop trying to emulate it. Seeing the stupid shit that men do that makes them miserable, buying their copes that it is actually empowering and then trying to copy it is one of the dumbest things modern women do. Like having lots of casual sex, becoming consumed with advancing your career, heavy drinking, joining the military, ect.
In real life if you pretend to be busy with an actual high value person they'll think you're not interested or clock you're trying to manipulate them and leave you alone. So you're left with people who are insecure and needy enough to put up with it or have low emotional intelligence which don't make for very good relationships.
The autism in TRP is in the forums. The reference material is pretty sane. It's about becoming an HVM actually. The self-improvement message from TRP aims to teach men how to become something women actually want. Basic stuff like getting off your ass and working out, working on your career/finances, improving your confidence, getting life experiences like travels to stop being boring, learning how to talk to people, being better in bed, etc.
The 'autism' comes from a combination of two factors: the amorality of TRP which enables aggressive men and the fact most men don't actually do anything to improve themselves because it's too hard.
you sure wrote a lot just to say you don't understand the basic idea behind fds, which is that women should aim to become as HV as possible, and if they dont find a partner who's also HV they will be just fine being single
i'm sure loneliness happens from time to time but it beats the loneliness of being screwed over by LVM. sex isn't everything, after a nice wank there are friends and family to spend time with, hobbies to work on and jobs to be done
That subreddit really made me notice how most men don't actually ask you out they just go "so when are we meeting". Dude if YOU want to ask me out how about you think of something and tell me? Like decide a place or something, I had enough with my ex where I had to plan everything and he only wanted to go where I wanted to go. They are so low effort and I've just now realized it. I don't care about fancy dinners like the rest in there, but at least you plan something don't wait for me to do it. I refuse.
I've also noticed guys on my area in Tinder all say the same dumb shit on their profiles. It's either "looking for chill people" which is so code for "sex only" and something about "beer". Like they all think liking beer is part of their personality. If they even mention soccer I just swipe left, ugh Argentina…
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Update on this: she posted this to his TIMELINE, as in all our friends will see. I asked him to please remove his tag and he told me I was baselessly jealous/suspicious and asked me not to talk to him for 24 hours.
Some context: she posts and comments on his statuses constantly. If he posts it, she's there, even when she has nothing to say.
She's supposedly friendly to me and me and her comment on each others' posts from time to time. I'm aware that this is kindof pathetic on her part, but it has a really bad look as me and him are dating, and the post she shared from 2016 is specifically referring to him as her boyfriend, which hasn't been the case for years.
From what I can tell, she is very clearly still in love with him and I get the feeling that she's trying to encourage us to break up.
I think I might have to break up with him, but giving her what she wants feels to me like rewarding bad behaviour which I'm stubborn about. I love him a lot, so it's hard but I don't know how much more I can take.
should i just ignore it?
You set boundaries after his behavior upset you and he freaked out and stonewalled you? Anon :(
I wouldn't say break up just yet. You're right in thinking she's laying bait. Idk what kind of communication you have w/ your bf, is it worth having a serious talk with him about this? In person, not online or over the phone.
Does he have a history of cheating? Why did they break up?
Initial reaction: Wow, what a fucking retard. Literally no one asked or cared that in the pic she's wearing his underwear. Why's he scoping out her photos like that?
Okay yeah now I've looked at this >>133808
and what he did in response to you and it's sketchy as hell. This is super inappropriate and embarrassing, flirtacious to the max. Oh he's gonna ignore you, big man
You know what he's doing? Bitching to her about you and how awful and controlling you are for demanding some respect. >giving her what she wants feels to me like rewarding bad behavior
Sis, you're the one who wins by ditching this trash heap! Shake her hand for taking this cheating-time-bomb-waiting-to-explode off your hands. A man who eyeballs other women while he's in a relationship is NOT a catch, and no less for an ex. He must be a special brand of sorry cuck to want the ex back. He's either gonna cheat on her or they're gonna break up for similar reasons that they did before. Sounds like they deserve each other.
I'd ask him outright:
"Why are you entertaining her behaviour when it hurts me?"
If he tells you you're being ridiculous (you're not) and tries to dismiss you, I'd leave. I'm sure you do love him, and I'm sure you treat him well and this seems furiously unfair. Unfortunately, it's common for guys to get bored in comfortable relationships and it's especially common for them to reminisce about past relationships. You deserve a man who doesn't look back, and only looks forward to a future with you. You DESERVE that. And you are NOT responsible for his actions - you have not caused this, he knows what he is doing. Don't push your feelings of hurt aside to please a guy who (might) not even acknowledge them. That is a relationship that will never bring you contentment and fulfilment.
FDS has a tendency to only make women more insecure. They sell this idea of a high value this or high value that. So they get mistreated, they start to wonder whether they are low value themselves. Fast forward a couple of weeks and they are crying on r/Vindicta. Their boobs are too small, their nose is too big, too black, too white. All reasons why they think they haven't found the mythical high value man yet. It could not possibly be that he doesn't exist. It could not possibly be that he isn't a good man if he wouldn't have dated her before she turned herself into a sex doll. Nevermind the more extreme version of FDS. It is pro sexwork and encourages women who just got out of abusive
relationships to get into it. Yeah let's show men who is boss by objectifying ourselves and make servicing men our career. That's what's private.
Don't get me wrong, they have a point sometimes. The problem is that the good things are all common sense to any rad fem or pink pilled woman.
Is this milk recent? Crazy if so, jfc. >>133881
Just looked up r/Vindicta and found it repulsive. Are they really trying to relate this to feminism? They’re objectifying themselves even more than women who are oblivious to pink pill/feminist ideology. Moral issues aside, true “stacies” don't have to obsess over their status like this. As you said, it’s just a huge breeding ground for BDD and insecurity.
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Me simply telling my boyfriend that I'm done talking to him for the night after he lied about going home and actually went to the bar to hang with our friends. I wish I could go back and tell past me that the best way to get guys attention is to ignore them, but then you really are left with scrotes that act like dirtbags. Considering ending this, kids four and a half years my junior and I can't handle the maturity difference. Like he's a bus boy with no plans for college and starting a band. Like I want kids or a marriage and he just bought a new keyboard synth kek somebody kill me.
Girl, I feel you. I dumped my shitty ex-boyfriend a couple of months ago, he was six years younger than me, fucking yikes… No idea what was going on in my head when we started dating. Never again getting involved with someone that immature.
We were constantly fighting over him not respecting my boundaries, space, wants, needs,.. and I just tealised I don’t want to be with someone who doesn’t give a shit. You deserve better!
This. I also noticed that the members were the dumbest bitches ever, getting fooled by the worst men.
I think dating strategies are dumb anyway, even if they might work. Just take care of yourself and enjoy yourself.
Sure looks matter in a sense, but a lot of these women think they need to bleach their skin, get major plastic surgery, etc. to find love. They think that it is the only thing stopping them from finding a ''high value'' man. I have seen some pictures of them, they really don't look as horrendous as they describe themselves.
Their main problems usually are low self esteem, lack of social skills, being a NEET, etc. There is nothing wrong with 'leveling up' in a reasonable way, by getting a new haircut, skin routine, or something else that isn't too invasive or requires you to dislike a fundamental part of yourself. There is a problem when girls can say they need to change their ethnic nose and bleach their skin or they cannot find a high value man, and nobody bats an eye. Why would a high value man be so racist that he'd require them to bleach their skin?!
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It aren't even just the newbies. The mods and the women in the secret FDS affiliated subreddit are oblivious too. They think they are so careful and know everything, but not much later they are going ''not my Nigel''! They won't dump men who blatantly disrespect them and their boundaries. Despite advising everyone else to dump their partners for far less. If you even dare to call anyone out for being a clown, you can expect a ban.
Yeah there's no real point to following the FDS handbook.tm . It even has a specific timeline to follow, there is barely any room for flexibility. Which is somewhat understandable considering the naivety of the average poster.
Someone in the gold-digger thread commented “men and people in general are not shitty rpg characters” and I’d keep that advice closer than any dating rule or handbook. >>133996
I’m sure there are more good men that would get bored with the waiting than there are good men who still hold onto the Madonna-whore complex. Especially in cities. Denying it once or twice to seem classy might work but I can totally see the 3 month rule backfiring.
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What a pathetic display.
Dump now to avoid any future retardation.
Maybe a park. Just make sure you don't go to one that's not too isolated though as safety is a concern. Also, a library. Or a dogpark if you like dogs!>>133556
Better than not trying. Just be sure to look into the people who contact you and make sure you're doing some proper vetting before divulging too much private information about yourself.
If you find a dude with a decent dick and willing to please then go for it. FDS is retarded when it comes to casual sex, they have a really bad doublethink about sex on that subreddit. >our number of past sexual partners is irrelevant and doesn't make us unworthy of love or lower our value>REEEEEEE HAVING CASUAL SEX IS DEBASING YOURSELF ONLY LOW VALUE WOMEN DO THAT, IT CAN NEVER BE GOOD EVER AND YOU'RE LYING IF YOU SAY YOU GOT SOMETHING OUT OF IT!!!!
They like to pretend that waiting three months or whatever arbitrary standard makes sex with the man better somehow. I've had terrible sex with men I was committed to and awesome sex with guys I never got into a relationship with.
Having sex either lowers your value or it doesn't. There is no special magic circumstance that takes away the fact that a penis went into your vagina. No one cares that a woman waited three months, or one night.
I feel like it's their underhanded way to neg women who don't have the same hangups about commitment and sex as they do.
Six years is a big yikes. I'm 29 and he's 25, didn't seem so horrible in the beginning but now our maturity gap is beginning to show. Also like a dirtbag he told me he's going to California at the end of the month to play a show with his old band and spend a week with his old friends. He's been planning this for who knows how long without me. I'm out of work rn but it's not like I don't have savings and a credit card. Gonna see how I feel after getting space for a week and probably end it.
Imagine planning a while vacation without your SO and expecting them not to be upset. People surprise me every fucking day.
Which you won't get from a hook-up. When people talk about this shit it's always "bloo hoo I want dick" instead of saying they want an intimate experience. Always makes me think they're a weirdo who worships dick and wants to be dommed by randos, which is why dildos don't do it for them.>>134027
It's not healthy to get validation from getting fucked by random men.
I mean, of course sex will almost always involve kissing and touching, even casual sex. But I said>things you're imagining
Because I wasn't taking anon 100% literally, I assumed she was thinking of interactions far more ~romantic~ than just kissing and touching alone. That is the bare minimum and hardly makes sex good or worthwhile in itself, and it doesn't mean a guy isn't treating you like a fleshlight. That part is what makes casual sex bad.
Same, not a huge fan of kissing even when the sex is otherwise quite passionate.>>134048
So if you have casual sex you must hate yourself? And if you opt out of kissing you somehow hate yourself even more.. does accepting oral count as hating yourself more? Or less? Would love to have you work that out according to your beliefs
Anon has a death wish. >epidemic
>Why not arrange personal meetings with many strangers in public places where they'll have plenty of time to breathe on me and touch me (at a minimum)
I've seen evidence of people dating as normal and taking the current conditions as an additional novelty to add into the mix. Now is the time to have an online-only romance, if anything.
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I'd rather not have sex with a guy unless I was in a long term relationship with him. How many men are actually willing to do that? I feel like there would be guys that expect me to break my values and 'put out' too soon or I'll end up attracting virgin-chasers and radically conservative guys looking for a tradwife (I would like to get married one day though)
Should I just wait for marriage? (that's the advice I've got from /adv/) I'm still a virgin
If he really cares about you, he’ll wait until you’re comfortable with having sex. Personally, I recommend waiting a few weeks and going on a few dates in the meantime so that YOU KNOW EACH OTHER REASONABLY WELL AS PEOPLE. Lol sorry for caps but it’s gross how pervasive and normalized hookup culture is even in serious dating.
You can say something like this: “I’m attracted to you, but I’d like to get to know you a little better. Is it okay if we wait?” Be flirty and teasing about it so that he’s encouraged to pursue you. And if he gives you shit about it, then you know to drop him.
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anyone have this weird almost uncanny valley like feeling when browsing FDS, I assumed it would be a space for women who are a little odd or GNC to find good high quality men and spot out redflags but actually going to thesespaces it just feel like spaces it feels idk very basic, like a space the mean girl who bullied me in highschool would hangout in
Well FDS prioritizes having high self esteem and confidence, I'm sure most high school mean girls projected those traits. And it consistently recommends self improvement and having high standards for yourself (looks, social skills, career etc), so that you can feel entitled a man of equal value.
I never expected anything but normies, lots of FDS strategies and language seem ripped straight off Lipstick Alley then given a feminist angle. I like it, I'm more comforted by the idea of basic girls wising up to male bullshit than another femcel community feeling sorry for themselves.
>>135474>Well FDS prioritizes having high self esteem and confidence, I'm sure most high school mean girls projected those traits. And it consistently recommends self improvement and having high standards for yourself (looks, social skills, career etc), so that you can feel entitled a man of equal value.
I have a decent enough job and I'm fine with that, not really into makeup and fashion for a number of reason, around men Im confident enough that they listen to me
>I never expected anything but normies, lots of FDS strategies and language seem ripped straight off Lipstick Alley then given a feminist angle. I like it, I'm more comforted by the idea of basic girls wising up to male bullshit than another femcel community feeling sorry for themselves.
but shouldn't they try to appeal to the women who need this strategy the most. like I have spoken to some online female friends who said they were turned away by the "boss bitch" memes and the flashy mean girl style
I’ve used FDS tactics in the past. At the end of the day, some of it is helpful and some of it is not important.
I do think getting emotionally attached to a guy too soon is a problem many women have. They’re like a project, you sink all this time and effort into getting close to this guy and you become attached to him. You feel like you have to make it work! And he becomes lazy and bored with you because he can tell you’ve already selected your wedding dress, so he makes no real effort. Or he gets scared off. You have to wait until he’s actually invested in you to allow yourself to become invested in him.
I think it’s nice when men pay for dates and I do prefer when they pay for the first few. Depending on whether he has money or not, tho. If he’s kinda broke (or has a job that I know doesn’t earn much), I’ll split after the first date. But if a guy who has money doesn’t want to pay for the first few dates, I wouldn’t continue with him. Within the context of our current society, paying for the first few dates means something. I have a great career, I can afford anything I want on my own, so if you’re going out of your way to make me feel special by treating me to dinner I would consider that generous.
so I don't think the advice itself is bad or crazy "most" of the time, that "yasss queen slayy" type of empowerment to is really really not that appealing.
I think their point is that two high value people will stay together if they're serious, and two idiot normies who get carried away with puppy love and don't notice their incompatibility will get divorced.
But I still think getting married so fast is retarded. I'm fucking 22, I don't want that shit but I do want a serious boyfriend.
What ever happened to being respectful, having healthy relationships! What's with all the crazy manipulation??
Also most of them sound like wishful fanfictions
I think a lot of stuff from the FDS handbook were written by complete boomers. Like stuff about wearing tight fitting clothes and high heels being the standard of "polished" or wanting to get married withing one year.
In my opinion FDS has good posts about uplifting women, avoiding terrible scrotes and remembering how awful men can be, but the handbook is a bit "too much" at times. It holds good principles as a whole but some small rules should definitely be overlooked if you're not living in 1950.
Then how about you lurk more you retard?
What is there to even make fun of. Are you one of those 'FDS is female redpill!' reading comprehension lacking idiot?
Am I the only one who thinks: But I
don't want to get married within one year? And I am very much serious when I date. I just don't think you can know the other person well enough after only one year. I'm not super set on a specific timeframe but 3ish years dating before getting married sounds ideal to me.
That is literally the complete opposite of what anyone says or does on FDS and goes against everything they promote. Settling to just to get married is the worst possible outcome, being single always is better than being with a low value man just to have anyone at all.
The 'get married in 1 year' thing is something I never see anyone mention either, maybe it's somewhere in the wiki and has been forgotten by the userbase. But the justification behind that idea is that >men know if they want to marry a woman very, very quickly >if he doesn't want to marry you, he'll still waste your time and you're at risk of being a forever girlfriend>men will enjoy wifey benefits without making you a wife if you let them
1 year is a ridiculously short time period for getting married, but a time limit is not so illogical in itself.
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Honestly I know this is going to be slightly unpopular but i was active on both FDS and Vindicta for a while and tbh both of their philosophies ended up being really unhealthy and putting me in a bad place emotionally wise regarding relationships, in the end all of this mindset just makes you unable to form real emotional connections with your partner .
Also most of these women are just plain nutjobs, visit their discords, interact for a little while and you will its just a bunch of BPD and Narcissistic freaks roleplaying as uwu hot sucessful take no shit seductressess while being completely off the rails.
most people on dating sites are actually boring
the number of people with references to the office, sports, and coffee is staggering
r/femaledatingstrategy offers terrible advice. While it's rooted in come evolutionary psychology that makes sense (keyword: some), the problem with these subs (r/theredpill included) is that everyone on them really and truly believes they're at the top of the hierarchy and deserves the sort of partner that realistically only genuinely beautiful/handsome and highly intelligent people can obtain.
Just like redpillers think Mary Elizabeth Winstead is their looksmatch, FDSers believe they deserve an IBer making $400,000 a year who also looks like Christian Bale in his prime. In other words, it's a recipe for holding out for men sociopathic enough to use you over a long term period, or holding out for nothing at all. The only good advice they offer is to hold back on giving sex until he has proven himself a viable long-term partner, and really you could just ask your grandma to tell you that, you don't need damaged redditors on SSRIs to tell you.
I've noticed there's also this weird-as-fuck overlap between pinkpill communities and kpop fangroups. You'll often be reading a thread and some random no-value comment about how Asian/Korean "scrotes" are actually really great and everyone should be dating them instead because they're so much better than White/Black/Hispanic/etc ones. That or they're just Asian incels sockpuppeting. If it's the former I think the blind spot over how many women in the Korean entertainment have been killing themselves due to industrial-scale rape and abuse is kind of bizarre.
Finally, I'm tired of people who made bad decisions with prior partners (I swear half of the "ex boyfriend stories" here and on FDS are from people who dated random men they met on online games, interpals, 4chan or worse) projecting this onto others. Not everyone was dumb enough to date some disgusting /soc/ BDSM fetishist they met on a "kink thread".
tl;dr, don't take advice from damaged people online.
The good advice on FDS about marriage is mostly concerning stuff like making sure he's serious, not being stuck with him for ten years without a ring etc. That all makes sense. It's also something you could ask your grandmother for, you don't need to engage with people of very questionable mental health on reddit about it.
The problem is that it goes beyond that. There are plenty of heavily upvoted posts about how its important to get a very expensive ring (it isn't, my partner makes decent money and I told him to spend a fifth of what he planned to and to put the rest in a savings account). There's this whole gold-digging undercurrent on FDS that I find impossible to reconcile with actual, good dating advice because the simple fact is there aren't enough good looking, wealthy men to go around, certainly not if you're talking about for women on places like 4chan and FDS.
They've also got this weird obsession of assuming if you like any sort of male aesthetic beyond kpop boys you're a "pick me". For example, I find dad bods cute. Not huge, obese men, but a tiny bit of pudge is something I've always liked. FDS would call me a pickme, say I like "LVM" etc if I ever posted something along those lines on there, just because I don't think jungkook is peak male aesthetics.
It's because it attracts a lot of people from chan culture/imageboards. Damaged people in other words. Remember how the cosplay scene at anime cons essentially just became a place for gossip, hookups, he-said/she-said, drama etc? It was the same thing: people who never experienced that at school found another space to recreate it. >>138127
FDS has a few different groups on there. The good content generally comes from the "involved with men" r/gendercritical types who still want to date and marry, but want to avoid the sociopathic hellscape that men (predominantly) have made of modern dating. You've also got a lot of girls who obviously were raised on imageboards on there, made bad choices in their youth and now feel angry and vengeful about it. These are the types who make posts about aborting male children and saying that any man who doesn't have a seven inch penis is inferior. It's almost like the latter group took what incels said about women and decided to internalize it and become it.>>138147
Yeah you're 100% correct but the right response is simply to disengage from this modern culture in its entirety. Not create something equally bad out of spite.
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>>133413>For the record, LVM doesn't mean low income, introverted, shy, unambitious, or whatever LVM think it means.
This is nonsense and you know it. When called out FDS backtracks and tries to claim they aren't gold-diggers, but there's literally thousands of comments that suggest otherwise.
Another anon put it best. FDS's generic advice is actually quite good. It's about being a little skeptical of men, in an age where too many women have become too eager to believe their weasel words and take them on trust, because we assume they have the same levels of empathy we do (they don't). The sidebar and so on also provide good, working advice. But that generic boilerplate advice (that any older female relative worth her salt would give you) isn't the userbase of the site. And the userbase of the site are largely damaged people from imageboards who use the platform as a way to cope with past mistakes and plan out what will be forever unexecuted and fundamentally delusional stratagems of obtaining a wealthy, attractive k-pop lookalike. You can clearly see this if you've ever joined the discord, by the way. The userbase is insane
and has constant doublethink.
Case in point: a few days ago they were cooing over some older male youtuber who created a channel for people who never had father's to tell them how to do stuff like unblock drains. Saying what an amazing man he was and how they wish they had a dad like him and how HV he was, when physically I could really easily see his picture being used to illustrate "LVM looks", e.g. receding hairline and so on.
More broadly, the more I interact with people from here, the chans and elsewhere in the weebverse the more convinced I am that none of you have ever interacted with normal people in your entire lives. No exaggeration. The men you all talk about either sound like they were pulled straight from /r9k/ or an incel board, or like on of the more sociopathic, sexually successful 4channers like Sam Hyde. And the men are exactly the same. Men from 4chan and other similar websites really do believe in their heart of hearts that every girl is some e-thot with an onlyfans who has a partner count in the double digits precisely because those are the only women they interact with in the first place
God damn it people, go out into the real world. Meet people at dinner parties, through family friends, even at bars. People on imageboards, at anime cons, in online gaming communities, on the "twitter anisphere" etc. These aren't normal people. They're not exceptional people either. They embody the worst qualities of both men and women imaginable. They're going to continue to make you miserable. And if you're meeting people on the basis of "shared kinks", then God help you.
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at least you saged
so you willingly chose to fish for casual hookups multiple times on a dating app like a whore but took personal slight at the fact that someone expected you to transport yourself to the location of the date rather than offer to do so himself and this was an affront to your existence as a woman.
alright, i'm done here. enjoy dying alone, fellas.
>>139880>How do I get over the guilt of having "a type"?
Don't. You're entitled to have preferences.>I just find it hard to be attracted to anyone who isnt a tall, skinny, pretty boy with nice hair and clothes who is also emotionally mature.
You don't have control over who your body physically reacts to, with the exception you have an unhealthy mindset towards those who are the opposite of your preferences (ie feeling disdain for short men that have no control over this). That would suggest you like what you do over hatred of the opposite and what ideas/stereotypes you associate with it. Pretty is subjective, as is nice hair. Emotionally mature should be everyone's standard. Nothing here is unreasonable. You weren't even specific.
You are entitled to love and respect regardless of where you are in life, including how you perceive yourself. You are a woman, there is a man out there who finds you pretty (not that your worth should be based off of that). You are or you aren't pretty is how you perceive, and as consequence, carry yourself. Whoever finds you attractive is going to, regardless of how you feel. You might as well see yourself positively. Skin tone is irrelevant. Those that make you feel bad about it aren't worth your time. Easier said than done; our culture has a long way to go. There's underlying psychological causes here; therapy might help.
Sorry for sperg.
TL;DR Love yo' self sis
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Farmers, how do you feel about the new site and the glossary specifically?
jfc straight people are a thing you know
Brainwashed into wanting to breed, like literally give birth to a babby
Personally I don't think Cronenberg could have come up with worse body horror than childbearing
they have a lot of good points (wait at least a few months until having sex if you want commitment, avoid casual sex, weed out cheap/exploitative men, call out pornsick and abusive
behaviour, theres also some good advice on looking out for red flags, etc.), but sometimes they just come off as insane to me. there are so many obviously fake posts. it doesnt help how american-centric a lot of the discussions and advice are. recently ive been seeing a lot more "pick-me" posts and comments too, maybe over the last month or so, which has gotten me questioning it.im a part of the sub, but only because they do occasionally give good advice, as opposed to most of the other relationship advice places which are very biased in favour of men, and it's also one of the last places on reddit to freely bitch about men as well kek. dont take it too seriously.
So I've been having some dating woes, and my mom gave me this old book she bought when she was young called Mars and Venus on a Date. It's by a dude called John Gray, who is a famous author in the relationship category. The book itself is obviously a bit dated since it was published in 1997, but it's actually incredible how so much of the book preaches what FDS seems to. I mean, here are some snippets that stood out to me (these are specific to dating with the goal of a relationship of course, not causal sex):
>When a man comes on strong in stage one (attraction) and then pulls back in stage two (uncertainty), a woman sometimes feels pressure to give back sexually. She has received so much that she feels obligated to return the favor. She hopes that by responding in a sexual manner and fulfilling his desires, she will regain his interest. By giving more of herself than she is ready to give, however, she can actually sabotage a relationship. More is not always better.
>A woman needs to understand that by receiving and responding in a warm and friendly way to a man's romantic gestures she is already giving back to him. This basic understanding is crucial, and women today are missing it. Quite often a woman feels that she is not giving enough in return, and then she feels obligated to give more.
>If a woman's reaction to uncertainty is to pursue a man, it can actually prevent him from moving through his uncertainty to discover whether he wants to invest in a relationship or not. This is why, traditionally, woman don't call men. The wise woman waits for him to pursue her.
>Young women, particularly, feel a pressure not to let a man pay on a date so that they don't feel obligated to have sex. This is the woman's way of saying that he should not get his hopes up. The problem with this approach is that he will get the idea that she is not receptive at all and lose interest. Just because a woman enjoys a man's gifts does not in any way obligate her to give more than a smile or a thank you.
Now I haven't tried FDS (or any kind of dating strategy really), but I've heard of it and the premise, and it just really stood out to me that this book written over 20 years ago by an 'expert' in the dating field - and a man - also emphasises so much that woman should allow themselves to be pursued. That the role of impressing falls on the man. Something I do think a lot of young girls who are starved of attention forget, like I did.
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I think the fundamental ideology of FDS is (or started out) pretty damn good. Is there really anything better? Most of the [female] critics of FDS are libfem handmaidens that get played over and over again. FDS personally helped me to respect myself a lot as I used to be a woman who would date down severely. A lot of women like myself partook in FemaleLifeStrategy as opposed to dating, which I found to be more helpful. I think FDS is also inspiring in that it encourages women to create their own lives so that they are less dependent on men for sources of happiness. What you do with FDS's advice is your choice. While I was active in FDS I was immersing myself in hobbies, working out, getting my education, working with the goal of bettering myself for myself
. I swore off of online dating and men because FDS had shown me how much better off I was improving myself instead of sitting around and swiping on dating apps, hoping to find a diamond in a mound of shit. On the other hand, there are women who are constantly on dating apps, talking about their revolving door of men, which isn't productive in my opinion but still isn't nearly as bad as TRP. TRP, MGTOW, MRAs, and incels are responsible for terror attacks, rapes, and murders so I have to lol when r/purplepilldebate tries to compare the two.
I can confirm as a former mod that some
women on FDS are insane, a few are even cow tier. That much should be obvious–people who are among the more active accounts on Reddit, regardless of ideology, are insane. The woman here >>138795
who said that the women are ugly or below average is wrong. Yes there are a few that are not good looking and need a lot of help in the fashion/aesthetics department. But I've seen many women and I'd say that it falls all over the scale of attractiveness. We certainly had more than a few women who were really pretty. The distribution of attractiveness was far higher skewed than all of the men I've seen while lurking the manosphere.
I think FDS ideology is best off if it goes mainstream and reaches normie women and men to change the dating game for women. Men have said that they will only step it up if women require them to. Occasionally we had men (who lurked) that messaged the mods thanking the sub and saying that they want to become HVMs–that bit gave me some hope. One of my biggest issues as a former mod was that the sub went in a completely different direction from advice to memes. And the memes can be kind of cringe at times but on the bright side I have appreciated the gradual pinkpilling of the subreddit.
Ultimately the women who complain about FDS are more pathetic than the women of FDS. I'd rather see a woman who has too much self-confidence than some lowly pickme that wants head pats from MRAs for her "I'm a woman and I hate FDS!" I'm not affiliated with FDS at all whatsoever anymore and I have personal issues with some of the current mods so I have nothing to gain from talking positively of them.
Alright this became very long, I've attached proof of my removal at least but can provide more in case someone accuses me of LARPing as a former mod.>>138802
Vindicta's server was full of women with BDD who were obsessed with 'grading' their faces and scoring other women. I find that to be very unhealthy and contrary to the philosophy of FDS which was imo moreso about building your confidence. But technically Vindicta and FDS are not affiliated. One of the mods of that server was a RPW that was trying to spread tradthot ideology and recruit younger girls to RPW.
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FDS post with advice to make a dummy and real account to weed out men.
>>153030 > use dating apps > cynical nature
Just aswering as another outsider but yeah I think FDS comes off as very defensive, then again when you look at the reality of dating apps you do need to play it safe and be cynical.
>just let go and enjoy dating, just seeing where it takes you. Is it even fun if you’re constantly thinking about whether or not you’re being played
A few years ago my long term relationship ended. I'm not the type to rebound. I spent the following 8 weeks stuck in a lease so living with my ex still. For those few weekends I went out for coffee with my friends and stayed out all day to try and pass the awkward time left living there. So fucking glad I never went on tinder because at that exact time in my exact town a man managed to meet and rape/torture 3 women over the span of 3/4 days. It was so close to home that I never want to touch one of those apps. He held one of the women hostage in her own home and the ordeal lasted hours.
This post isn't meant to bash you, I want to try providing a genuine answer. Different women have different mindsets and priorities is what it comes down to.
> isn’t a lot of FDS advice irrelevant if the person really likes you for who you are
In most cases I don't think these women have many male friends or acquintances, and are dating men they don't know well. Women on FDS are dating for a specific man who is compatible with them, who often plays a provider role (assuming this is because most want children). A man may care for you but if he doesn't want to settle down and play this role he's wasting their time, these women usually want to get married. You seem somewhat of a romantic, not a bad thing, in history and plenty of cultures marriage is less about that. People change and life stress (like child dying, etc.) can kill love and end relationships. These women value the meaning of men paying for dates, etc. because unless you spend more time with someone there's not much to go off of for a man's character for a while.
> causing people to not just let go and enjoy dating, just seeing where it takes you
Women can't date and engage in this "free love" kind of thought because of patriarchy. In most cases it's men who benefit from relationships more than women, so women don't want to waste their time, energy, and money when they can find a man who is what they want. When women face abuse, it often comes from their male partner. Radical acceptance of dating men (I feel like the subreddit is somewhat pinkpilled) means being aware of male violence and that most men have been raised to take advantage of women's labor.
> Is it even fun if you’re constantly thinking about whether or not you’re being played or girlfriend material or whatever?
No, but it's not fun to not keep it in mind and let yourself get played. A lot of these women come in with dating horror stories or trauma, and cringe at their past selves for a reason.
Wow that’s awful. I’m glad you’re safe anon, and I agree about dating apps. >>153123
ITAYRT and it’s true I’m more of a free spirit when it comes to romance because idc about marriage and kids lol (while still not the 100% PPed “IDFW men” type.) I definitely don’t see your post as bashing because this is pretty much the answer I was looking for. I now totally agree with anon >>153128
that the usefulness of FDS depends on what you want in a relationship.
Also I feel like I’ve lived in a bubble or something because both of your posts mention dating violence and… wow, I should stay conscious of how dangerous men can be.
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this image makes me laugh so much and i don't know why. also, apparently the mods plan on cutting down the amount of low-effort posts and memes so that'll improve the subreddit.
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FDS is a nice subreddit and i really really think women (esp straight) can benefit from it but they should just leave lesbians alone and stop being homophobic pos. users constantly talk about how much they want to be lesbian, how easy it would be if they were a lesbian (lol), how easily they would find a female partner (LOL), there are even women who straight up say that they are researching ways on how to become homosexual (conversion therapy much?) or sharing polilez manifestos between each other so they can weasel they way into lesbian spaces. just fucking stay celibate, no lesbian wants someone who only dates other women because "men are traaaash". their shit is so tonedeaf for fucks sake. and before you come for me - i am aware that threads like these are not daily occurrence there.
I've checked out this subreddit back when r/gendercritical was shilling it (RIP), but I honestly just can't be bothered. If online and blind dating (which they seem to be mainly focusing on) takes this fucking much effort to do, then why even bother? Like someone posting about making a fishing account just to sort out if your date is also into casual flings, all that mental effort could be going into literally anything else.
Internet dating just sucks in general. There's a saying in my country that "a man coming from far lands can say whatever", for the best translation I can suddenly do, it basically just means that there's no one to call out the lies of a new guy traveling through your village or whatever. Word of mouth and tribalism helped a lot to know what kind of man you were marrying, that's why even today it's just so much safer to date friends of your friends, since there's at least a person who can vouch for them not being a serial killer or socially retarded. Online dating just seems to be a way for guys to get easy one-night stands and then even put the blame of women ('if you were more "____", he'd date you').
Don't take this the wrong way, I'm not some tradwife type longing for village life, I just kept thinking about how unsafe and shitty 'tinder' as a cultural phenomenon is. I either meet someone IRL or I'm just staying alone.
The problem is LVM doesn't actually mean anything. When FDSers have worked themselves into a rage about attractive cads playing multiple women at once, they'll say value != attractiveness, but when it's some screencapped comment from an incel, or an unattractive man who treated a woman badly, then attractiveness becomes a signifier of value again. Likewise for money, if it's a deadbeat, then high income = value. If it's a high-income man who cheated, then they claim income doesn't have anything to do with value.
It's schizophrenic as fuck.
I don't want to sound like a scrote, but when I hear stories like "yeah, my three exs were all abusive
" and they list out these traits like "all of them were unemployed, all of them did drugs etc", part of me feels like it was less "manipulation" on the man's part and more just the FDSer walking straight into a series of giant red floodlights because she's fundamentally attracted to that sort of man.
Not excusing shitty men, but there's gotta come an age where you can't claim some dumb bozo who was an unemployed drug addict when you first met him somehow tricked you, when the red flags were there before you'd even started dating….
To me, real abuse and manipulation is where the guy is really normal and well put together on the outside, but turns into a psychopath months into the relationship. Those are the women I really feel sorry for and wish I could help. Not raccoons who continuously go rooting around in trash.
I know this is lolcow and shitting on other women is kind of the point, but in the interest of those reading things like this and further blaming themselves rather than abusive
We're literally taught from a young age that Prince Charming starts out as an ugly frog or deranged beast. In popular media we're told that it's the women who stood by their men when they were down on their luck, poor, even criminals, and saw his "potential" and the good person within who are the ones truly deserving of love. To date someone successful who has their shit together is easy and nothing to be admired (and of course doesn't preclude you from experiencing abuse, in fact makes it harder for you ever to be believed because the rest of the world sees them as upstanding members of society and your abuse takes place in private). We're told to be empathetic towards men because "boys will be boys," they mature more slowly than us (because society caters to them and they don't need to) and to give them the benefit of the doubt and be understanding, while men barely even have to think of us as human.
So yeah, not dating guys who are poor and unemployed is a good first step, yet even that advice is radical to a lot of women who have been bludgeoned with the thought that they should "give a guy a chance" and that it's her duty to help mold garbage into some semblance of a functional human. To say women shouldn't date men who are abusers is even more ridiculous and condescending because the vast majority of abusers don't start out as abusive
; they lure you in by acting charming and kind and seem to be "better than other guys" because duh, that's how the fucking con works. Then when he turns into Mr. Hyde the woman spends the rest of the relationship blaming herself because he was so fantastic and amazing to start, surely the only defining factor that changed was her
presence, so she has to keep working to make him happy and awesome like he used to be because it's all her fault. Abuse is almost always a lot more insidious and sneaky than a guy out and out physically beating a woman during their first meeting, and the fact you don't realize that speaks volumes, so save the holier than thou oversimplification and stop victim
I never believed that. I thought "prince charming" came from a man who was outwardly charming and kind and had a good heart. Not someone who dealt drugs and had issues with substance abuse.
>that they should "give a guy a chance"
Come on anon, they're not doing them a charity. They're attracted to fucked up men sexually because there's something wrong with them.
In my experience, these outwardly bad traits (drug addiction, dealing, violence, lack of any job etc) aren't actually negatives from the outset anyway. A lot of really damaged women will see these traits as attractive/arousing. Just so long as the violence and rage is being directed against others, then it's all good. Remember that tons of these girls are driven by pornified desires for sexual masochism too, so they purposefully seek out really awful, abusive
, dysfunctional men.
I saw this time and again at art school. Girls who would fall for the moody troubled art boy. Thing is, that guy was never "charming", he was always a rude, unpleasant dick who openly talked about using women then tossing them aside, he openly talked about his substance abuse issues, it was an open fact that he'd scream at and even physically abuse his exs.
After a certain point you've got to ask yourself: are these traits that signify blatant low value not what are attracting these low value women in the first place?
>>165209>there's something wrong with them
Okay. So I take it you also blame people with cancer for not trying harder to push past chemo and live their lives to the fullest and get out more? If not, why is it okay to blame women who are clearly struggling with cognitive delusions, likely because they were repeatedly pushed to accept poor boundaries and/or went through former abuse? Why is one of these scenarios accepted as "out of their control" but people/society at large telling a woman to accept less than minimal effort from scrotes until they believe it's okay her fault? That's cool you didn't have the sort of negative beliefs I described pushed on you, but a lot of women have. >>165210
Again, they believe they can and should change men like that because society (and men themselves) tell us that's what a good woman does. Is it a crazy, lost cause? Sure. But that's not what they've been conditioned to believe and a handful of people telling her she's wrong for doing something she's been trained to do all her life isn't going to make a difference overnight. >>165211>A lot of really damaged women will see these traits as attractive/arousing.
Great, so we agree a woman accepting these attributes is "really damaged." But fuck her and let's describe her as an inhuman creature scrounging among trash because she's been hurt and brainwashed to this extent, I guess? A woman so hurt that she tried to fix/help/support a shitty man like she's been told and gotten punished for it isn't "real" abuse but a woman who was deceived by a guy who seemed upstanding from the outside deserves support. That's an odd dichotomy you've got going on where you have the least amount of sympathy for the women you freely admit have been damaged the most.
this, even my negligent parents would tell me not to date guys who don't work, have no savings, do drugs, want casual sex, etc
what kind of headspace do you need to be in to date men that are literally bottom of the barrel??? though lots of young people do drugs casually now, even my friends dabble, so i can see a scrote being able to lie about the extent of their use. but not having a job and education is a huge red flag
I understand and have sympathy when the guy is genuinely playing a Jekyll and Hyde situation and is smart enough to do it, there are some very intelligent men who pull this off very well: good jobs, smart looking, polite, but turn into raging fucking psychopaths after 6 months into a relationship behind closed doors. The women who get involved with those men are the ones I'll reserve my sympathy for. However, and as an example, a grown woman dating a guy like Sam Hyde and then turning around and claiming she "didn't know how abusive
he could be" or that he "was charming at first", yeah… No thanks. I don't buy that bullshit for a second.
For record, the same shit applies to men. I have a couple of male channer friends who got involved with the same art hoe girl they met on /soc/ who ended up breaking their hearts. Entirely their own fault. They knew what they were getting into and they knew what kind of girl she was from the outset.
>>165230>guys who don't work, have no savings, do drugs, want casual sex, etc
Few men are like this and even fewer women consistently date men like this, so wtf is the point of this argument?
Abusers are often very charismatic, manipulative and have good reputations, they aren't walking red flags like a jobless drug addict is. Men will lie and fake and put their best face forward right up until he's got a woman reliant on him, and then they're fucked.
Not to sperg about media, but that is not what the Beauty and the Beast trope is. I've only see the two Disney films, and the whole point is that the Beast ISN'T a bad person, he pushes people away but he's capable of kindness and it's only when he shows Belle that kindness that she gives him a chance. She doesn't change him. There is very few media examples I can think of where a woman changes a man into her prince charming.
There is also a world of difference between "childhood story about a rich handsome prince" and "unemployed abusive
drug addicted porn watching loser".
We don't need to blame disney movies or the prince charming trope. The general society we live in that values women on their ability to find and keep a man is to blame, as well as the sunk cost fallacy. A woman might be lonely and hook up with a loser just out of desperation, not intending that it will last a long time, but 5 years pass and she is still with him because she never had energy to date around and look for other prospects, and she doesn't want to go through the trouble of going out there and starting the dating process all over again. We stop valuing women based on how men are attracted to them (farmers are still guilty of this, look at how many comments will be made about cows along the lines of "how can a man be attracted to her gross fridge body?" "she's so ugly, how does she have a man?") and we stop seeing so many women settle for assholes.
The discord is even more of a freak show shitshown of mental illness than the lolcow discord was (and I'm guessing still is?)
Every other post is "I broke my code and slept with this random guy on the first date". I mean ffs if you can't even get that part of your supposed "dating strategy" down, how the hell are you ever going to move forward with your life in general?
unfortunately all we can do as women is to br very discerning and selective, and give nothing away until we are sure of his character. the victim
mentality won't get us anywhere since men don't even take our problems (including rape and violence) seriously
Nah, lets be real, FDS is PUA for women its pretty toxic
and weird. FDS hates scrotes but still wants to date them because reliable dick with financial benefits is that important I guess
lmao either you've never read FDS or you have no idea what PUA involves, because PUA is about tricking and manipulating reluctant women into sex. The idea that women would ever need pickup artistry is delusional. It's assumed everyone on FDS has plenty of options and no need to seek men out, just filter through the shitty ones who approach us. The only advice for getting a high quality guy is to improve yourself to ensure you're their equal and carefully choose one, not persuade them to fuck you through calculated PUA moves.
It also fully promotes being single if that's what you prefer, so I don't see the problem?
>>165267>It's assumed everyone on FDS has plenty of options and no need to seek men out
This is where FDS falls apart for me. It's objectively not true that I have plenty of options. I keep hoping the queen cheerleading will kick in and I will love myself even though men don't.
…but that's a tangent and a subject change, your point about PUA being different is on the mark.
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FDS is like PUA in that they think the other gender are evil creatures from Mars yet they're still obsessed with dating them and they treat dating like they're trying to get an A in Dating 101 its just so weird
FDSers think they're HV bad bitches but they really act more like this
FDSers see every man as potential abusers so they push the idea of exit plans a lot, honestly a lot of fdsers think there's always a red flag even if subtle and that the woman should take responsibility for letting her guard down, which is slightly 'toxic
' but idk
the problem with FDS is that they’re scarcely interested in examining /why/ they’ve allowed themselves to be taken advantage by men over and over again. therapy would be a huge asset to many of these women.
and sure, society may be to blame in some ways…but there are millions of women in happy, healthy relationships who have never needed (and will never need) FDS. following the source of their low self esteem (childhood abuse, emotional neglect, bullying, etc) would be infinitely more beneficial in the long run than made up rules like “wait three months to have sex,” or “require him to buy you gifts.” generally speaking, emotionally healthy people attract emotionally healthy people (both friendship-wise and relationship-wise.) and emotionally unhealthy people tend to repel emotionally healthy people. examining their past via therapy and improving their self esteem would vastly reduce their chances of ending up with a “low value” man.
if you’ve ever watched 90 Day Fiancé, a lot of FDSers remind me of Darcey. she has a very strong “girl boss, take no shit” attitude but continually chases men who can’t or won’t give her what she wants. and when she does get a emotionally healthy, laidback guy, her low self esteem and generally insecurity swoops in to sabotage the relationship. extended therapy would do her so much good.
They talk about that shit literally all the time… discussions about self esteem, boundaries and mental health are near constant, being emotionally healthy is always part of the expectation to 'level up' and having high self worth is acknowledged as the number 1 way to ensure you don't end up with a shitty man. Expecting a dude to pay for dates and waiting for commitment before sex is rarely discussed in depth because they're the most basic rules everyone knows and are just external expressions of healthy self esteem.
I seriously feel like I'm being gaslighted when I read anon's opinions about FDS because it's so dramatically, absurdly different to the posts I read on a daily basis. I don't even date, I read FDS because I find it encouraging and uplifting to see a large community of women who are all about growth, self respect and not letting men treat you like shit or bring you down. The opinions on there rarely differ from what I usually see on /g/ and /ot/, most of the advice re relationships is exactly the same. Do people here just read the wiki and jump to conclusions without paying attention to the posts?
FDS isn't a hive mind either, and the post quality can differ from week to week, so it depends on when anons visited it. When I first looked at it, it was all shit instragram screencaps about "queen shit" and discussions about loser exes. Also the wiki IS supposed to give the essence of a sub, and if it's out of touch, it should be on the moderators to update it.
There's simply a huge spectrum of being picky ranging from the deepest "pickmeisha" mentality to the FDS alpha female who dumps her boyfriend the moment he has a rough month in his life, which are unhealthy extremes, but some women still fall into them. Except it's still better to be the latter than the first, because at least you're not being taken advantage of.
to be honest FDS is putting the cart before the horse at its core, like why try to level up so you can date, when you should level up regardless so you can live a good life? kind of like how red pill dudes think they need to emulate chad to get a gf. not saying that FDS is even comparable to braindead scrote communities that condone abuse and constantly play victim
, btw. girls on FDS at least take matters into their own hands in a healthy way, but i think pining for the holy grail HVM can really undermine the positives of being in such a community. that said i'm glad FDS exists, would rather have women be extremely picky than be pickmes
I think it’s just natural for most people at any point in life (after puberty) to want companionship, even when they’re not ready for it. There really aren’t general “life advice” subreddits besides things like Life Protips. Most people want to date and look for advice online.
You obviously don’t need to “level up” just for some guy, but having a good career and a good life before getting into a relationship is so important. I think putting it in the context of relationships is fine because it reminds young women they don’t have to rush into anything.
i would consider r/askwomen a life advice subreddit and when i checked it last (admittedly a couple months ago) their advice was supportive and the community seemed nice without all the extra “why are you going out with this LVM who asked you out for a coffee” spiels
tbh i’m in the minority but personally i always, always, prefer a coffee date if i’m meeting a guy via tinder or some other dating app (which seems to be how a lot of FDSers meet guys).
it’s way easier to bail if we’re just getting coffee and the guy is weird. getting dinner with a guy that’s (inevitably) uglier IRL than i thought he’d be and usually not how they’ve portrayed themselves is so disappointing but bailing mid-dinner is way harder.
if we already know each other (like we met through work or something) and know we’re both into each other, yeah i agree that a coffee date is shitty :/ context is important.
i think this is partially influenced by background. parents that admire/value high education will usually push their daughters to get a guy that has at least a masters degree if not a phd and is financially comfortable. my experience isn’t everyone’s of course, but my parents would definitely judge me hard if i ended up with a guy socially or physically below me.
if i had an overweight bf/bf without at least a bachelors/bf without a good job/a socially awkward bf/etc i would never hear the end of it. i think a lot of parents are like that and friends too (tbf). not saying your experience isn’t real, but socially at least i’ve never been encouraged to settle for less. i think that must be part of the reason i find FDS kinda odd. might just be me though.
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So everything about vindicta is just nuts. There's an unhealthy obsession with prioritizing looks above everything else. Everyone there is largely working in retail or non skilled work and planning to save only to blow it all on plastic surgery.
Also! Another thing that creeps me out are all the koreaboos there. Occasionally there are a few on FDS too but vindicta is koreaboos all the way down. Why the fuck are there so many koreaboos?! Literal 20 somethings with names like "jaehyungsgf", what the heck is wrong with these people? You're in your 20s with no skilled job, no real education, no money, and your plan is to get tons of plastic surgery and go to Korea to do… What exactly? Marry a "HV" man? I wanna believe these are just dumb kids but on the discord most of them seem to average out at 24 or so. Do they know nothing about how misogynist South Korea is? Nth room? Molka hidden cams everywhere? Abuse of Southeast Asian mail order brides? Rapist idols who continue to go unpunished? Not to mention that white women are seen as sluts over there. How are they this delusional? I still like some k dramas but Korean men on average aren't any better than others.
Btw I don't understand the obsession with getting a wealthy man unless you're also financially successful yourself. If you're not you're basically symbiotically tying yourself to them and giving your husband enormous leverage over you. Think about not even having your own money to buy presents for your own family at Christmas lol. How can you live like this?
Finally, what's wrong with dating people on your level? If you're an average looking clerical worker don't expect a millionaire. Most of FDS and vindicta are low income anyway from what I've seen. Exact equivalent of incels claiming a really attractive actress is "average". For all the advocacy of self improvement my time lurking in these spaces has taught me that they're dumpster fires of mental health issues and that nobody ever really improves as a result of being there long term.
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vindicta, from the few times I lurked there, seems to be like a quasi-tradthot, pseudo-"girl power!!1" sub whose main purpose is to share how to looksmaxx and "secure the bag." Look hot, "manipulate" men with your looks and get money, yadda yadda. Stupid takes like in pic related seem to the mindset of that sub.
It's the same attitude that tells girls "a wealthy man to whom $700 is nothing giving you $700 to let him use you sexually is empowerment".
I think that's why they are so enamored with South Korean dating culture to be honest. Gift giving is very common. Doesn't mean the man is "high value" though.
I starting looking at that sub regularly a few months ago and it is so unbelievably toxic
. I already have had body dysmorphia and just knowing there are so many grown ass women out there actively judging every aspect of other women’s appearances in such a nitpicky, incel-like way sent me spiraling for a while.
For the same reason certain type of men become obsessed with Japanese girls. It’s a cope. Women in their own country reject them so they do all this mental gymnastics to justify their “preference.” Becoming acutely interested in women that are 1) in another country and 2) of a specific race allows them to “reject” all the women in their own country and avoid the embarrassment of being rejected themselves.
Women that become obsessed with having Korean boyfriends are almost always women who are rejected by men in their own country. Mentally, they can maintain self-esteem by fantasying that somewhere in the world (in this case, Korea) they’d be desirable and sought-after…it’s 100% a coping mechanism
…Until they actually get to Korea and cry about being fat shamed and used for sex
yup. so much mental illness in this thread, one of the comments soundd like fanfiction https://www.reddit.com/r/Vindicta/comments/krd6uw/ama_25yo_female_who_did_a_lot_of_hard_and/
OP posted a link to some before and after thingy and i think she looked totally fine before.
Unless you’re in like 압구정, no, it’s really not that common to have gotten 10+ surgeries. A lot of girls get their eyes done but other stuff, even v-line surgery is not common outside of certain areas of Seoul. Hang out in Daegu for example and you’ll see tons of natural women or women who have only gotten small tweaks. It’s like saying all Americans get tons of plastic surgery because everyone in LA has gotten a nose job, Botox and lipo.
Plus women who’ve gotten a lot of plastic surgery are usually mocked or “outed” like 하늘.
That’s what always gets me. I very rarely see filler/surgery before and after and think, yeah that was worth the $15,000. Usually people only end up looking slightly better. The whole “I went from a 3 to a 7.5” is such BS.
Bella Hadid has had one of the most successful before and afters I’ve ever seen and she’s been ridiculed nonstop, called a horse face, etc since she got her surgeries done. And she was a normal looking girl before, so it still wasn’t a “I went from a 3 to a 7.5” transformation
What was she supposed to do? Die ugly?
I also dislike how most people talk about self-acceptance because if you accept the way you look, you have to accept being ignored and treated like crap. "Just stay ugly and be our punching bag."
She wasn’t even ugly before. Most of these women are or were totally normal looking. She even admitted in her post that she lost a ton of weight, which probably substantially changed both what she looked like and how people treated her.
Most people don’t look like models, and even after surgery don’t look like models. Bella Hadid gets a crazy amount of hate and is ridiculed as a “horse face” (gag) even though she objectively leveled up.
And as that girl mentioned in her post, she can’t even tell people she had surgery because it basically invalidates her “pretty privilege.” People will judge her or consider her less beautiful, which only further destroys their self esteem.
>>165970>why is everyone aiming so high in terms of looks/careers/social circles?
It's not 'everyone', it's 20k people on a tiny niche subreddit… most people accept being average or decent, it's not some widespread phenomena.
Vindicta is extreme and OTT but it's very 'dead dove, do not eat', they know they are going way further than normal, secure people would. It's a calculated attempt to capitalize on beauty standards that may be ridiculous and unfair, but still result in tangible advantages throughout life. I'm pretty sure it was started by self declared femcels who preferred autistic, objective standards for beauty because it's easier for them to evaluate/improve their appearance that way.
true, though i think social media is making more people unhappy with being average. the autism makes sense tho>>165975>>165983
well considering the average person is a 5 and models and celebs are usually 9/10-10/10 i think 8 makes sense
i'm pretty average but considered cute so i'd say i'm like 5.5-6.
i don't like rating people by numbers but that's literally what they do in vindicta (i used to be in the discord so i'm going off their system lol)
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forgot to attach picture, sorry
>>166098>She's clearly very overweight
Shh! You never know when The Architect might be listening.
>and dresses poorly
She's dressed comfortably for running an errand. Everyone, even couturists, does this. It might have been wise to wear satin and pearls in case the car salesman was single and cute, I suppose.
Why would she think this was a good idea
This subreddit has a few good ideas if you're a doormat girl who's got no idea how to be romantically assertive at all, but sperging over coffee dates while looking like a Dunkin donut enthusiast yourself is just cringe
She didn't post a real before after, just a faceapp thing that her friend says she looks very similar to her post surgery face.
The second faceapp is worse than the first!! cmon! Its that hot girl but 'done' something-is-off look that so many women go for
I mean if you were really homely and plain not attractive I get it, but the first face app video is gorgeous.
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what in tarnation
As much as I would love this, since several fds users are milky as hell, I don't think jannies want to experience the hell that the thread will devolve into. Just at the shit-slinging chimpout that happens whenever anything fds related is posted on reddit hate thread
FDS super fans have already convinced themselves that anyone even slightly criticizing their views is a scrote or a cum-chugging pickme, do you really want a thread full of them and let's not ignore how the subreddit actively encourages to drop any friends that don't agree with fds views
ffs, how are you so bad at this.
just like you wouldn't enter a friendship with a person that treats you like shit, you shouldn't enter a romantic relationship with someone like that either. all i'm saying is that you should never be with someone that disrespects you or puts no effort into seeing you, which is why it is not 'high value'. because without those qualities there should not be any relations at all. that's it. this whole high value, low value separation is autistic as fuck anyway, not to mention even on FDS nobody can formulate what makes a man 'high value'. stop nitpicking
Obviously that is simplified, a short post isn't going into excessive detail about what good treatment in a relationship specifically involves. The point is that people assume HV = high status, rich and handsome, and that's not true. It's specifically referring to his decency as a partner and a person.
But yes, FDS would be the first to admit the bar is in hell for men. A big part of it is ensuring women have the bare minimum for standards. And yet you have anons like >>166096
who think she doesn't deserve even the bare minimum because of her looks.
do you really want anons to shit up this thread with blogposts?>>166204
seriously, it is so sad seeing women think that a man actually listening to your problems to give half decent advice, or actually be baseline considerate is HVM behavior. they think they're queens getting what they deserve when that's just human decency…
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One of them used to be a sugar baby and wanted to start stripping before corona happened. Her (totally rich /s) boyfriend at the time was looking for an arranged marriage
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To add another screenshot, he was supposedly a "HVM"; she held onto him for almost a year, I heard that they only broke up fairly recently. So the person who started it is a femcel and the other major mod is an ex-sugarbaby who ran several servers advertising that lifestyle to women while pretending to condemn it on the "official" FDS subreddit and discord.
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She also has an obsession with the 48 laws of power and routinely lies to her other mods, to users and compromises their privacy. She also steals content, almost none of what she posts which seems to have any substance is her own work, but is something she copy pasted onto reddit from one of the many servers she runs. Which would be fine, if she wasn't planning on literally creating a physical book and selling it, thus profiting off of other users while claiming it as her own work. It's not like the posts are even that good, but it's still just a scumbag move.
She has also let an AGP in one of her servers run wild and harass women for bikini pictures. They just excused the fact that he hadn't verified at all, except with porny pics and claiming that he can't download discord on his phone and all his possible microphones are broken.
She also airs all her dirty laundry and literally lets everyone on discord listen to her arguments. Well at least when she was still with her ex. I wasn't present there personally, because I've never been in the server myself, but I've heard it from people who have been in the server and from callout posts on reddit (pic related). I don't care if she hurt a scrotes feelings, but it's a bit cow-like to let everyone listen to your arguments via vc.
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>>166340>Runs a sub about procuring high value males at all costs>Is dating an Indian
You can't make this shit up. It's even more hilarious than the koreaboo FDSers. Holy fucking shit.
How do they rationalize this stuff to themselves?
She lived in SF California at the time, no idea if she still lives there. >>166442>>166492
That is a screenshot of the reddit post I got the screenshots from. It's a post from r/purplepilldebate like half a year ago, but this is all I have of the post itself. The person who wrote the post was mainly upset about her being mean to her bf, but I think the screenshots are lulzy for other reasons obviously.
WRONG. Every day there's a thread that implicitly or explicitly ties what a man spends on you to his intrinsic worth. Most recently it was some random kpoop star spending $100k on an engagement ring for his Eastern European mail order bride being described as high value ("if he cares about you he'll spend a lot of money on you"). This is why a lot of FDSers are koreaboos too, because the dating culture over there is about lavishing gifts on a woman. That's the entire reason Ava, one of the FDS mods, was dating a wealthy Indian she self admittedly wasn't attracted to.
FDS is a shitshow that changed their definition of a HVM the moment it's revealed he invariably cheats with prostitutes or used his money as a weapon against her during arguments.
Ava is more than a FDS practitioner, she started the whole damn thing. And the other co-founder, OG, is a self declared/admitted femcel who thinks "pretty privilege" is a bigger problem than misogyny. Ava doesn't practice what she preaches and she changes the guidelines based on what she's currently doing in her life. It also doesn't help that the average person who posts on FDS is a massive stan of hers and will suck up to her, even though she cannot reply or post anywhere without first consulting The 48 Laws of Power. So nobody in there even questions the random changes and if you do or you talk about it anywhere on reddit, you risk getting banned anyway apparently. OG spends most of her day refreshing, looking for mentions of FDS.
FDS is Ava's brand and she's looking to make money off of it in the future (by selling merch, books etc.), it's not the second coming of feminism for straight women.
FDS is literally the book “He’s Just Not That Into You,” except they’ve replaced the “He’s just not that into you” motto with “He’s low value.”
Which is silly, again, because the reason most of these guys mistreat these women is because they’re just not that into them. It sucks and feels shitty and it’s a very hard pill to swallow, but women regularly do the same thing to men they’re only semi into.
For example, I’ve never met a girl who’s crazy about a guy but regularly ignores his text messages, forgets his birthday, cancels plans with him, etc. But I definitely have friends that are hooking up with a guy and are kinda into them…but will actively ignore their texts, don’t want to commit, spend non-sexual time with them, etc.
It sucks and it hurts and it’s hard to accept but that really is what’s usually happening.
The fundamental problem here I see is when people feel they can do better. Nobody is willing to settle. And let's be honest, settling means accepting you're probably not good looking enough to deserve a tiny slim blonde with big tits if you're a man, or a 6'4 muscular Viking if you're a woman.
Average looking people's physical standards are just unreal. I get the feeling a lot of the milky ex bf stories you read on FDS about how he was unemployed for two years, smoked weed every day etc are because they tried to settle down with the best looking man they possibly could and ignored all his other bad traits. So yes, the bar is low, very low, but FDSers themselves are partly to blame for that by being shallow.
They’re ex-friends, to be clear. And I agree it’s shitty behavior.
IMO It’s not the same thing though. A lot of LV guys (and girls) will suddenly become HV when they’re with someone they’re crazy about. And a lot of HV men (or women) will become LV once they’re no longer interested in their partner/spouse or realize that they’re not actually compatible long term.
Ask the people around you that are married. Both men and women will usually say the same thing: “The first five/ten years were great, but now they’re like a totally different person.” Most people in long term relationships become LV to some extent. There are definitely couples that remain HV but they’re generally the exception, and they’re usually the ones still madly in love.
I know The Red Pill isn't the best comparison since it's basically a rape-manual, but it was also often defended by saying "but it has some good parts!". Yeah, it tells men to get buff, not to sit in their rooms and wash their ass, but it gets crazy and cultish pretty fast. And even FDS gets to a point where "oh, losing friends because they find your sudden shift of personality and being demeaning to them, acting enlightened constantly because you found a subreddit is A-OK".
Honestly, for every "new method" or "change of mentality" self-help movement the golden rule is just to read, never get 0 to 100 into it, and never ever engage with the community formed around it.
Looking in particular is a compulsion that is embedded on the mammalian level. People in general and men in particular (might be testosterone/estrogen up/down regulated) have a prebaked mechanism of immediately looking at the face and genitals to identify who they're dealing with, which is extra important for social animals. There were studies done, like clockwork most people did the same eye motions across photos. Foundation for behaviors like these are not individually developed, a man might be fully committed upstairs but he's still prodded by inbuilt mechanisms to consider other mates, since propagation of genes is the only real benchmark for trait selection and that impulse obv will get you ahead in the game. Welcome to monke, I guess.
In general men have a different sexuality (like triggers
and thresholds for arousal being different) than you and as a result it interfaces with emotion differently.Though seeking exposure to coomer/consoomer content out on instagram is another thing. These apps are made to fry peoples' brains with sexual and status displays by using these simple mechanisms and keep them hooked. There's nothing "normal" in instagram hacking your mid and hindbrain.
PS maybe show him this video.https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xpVnXJl3GK8
It isn't really on point but it does showcase using instagram as an example that while we possess a fantastic, flexible intellect that is so universally useful it almost seems like imparted by the metaphysical the underpinnings of a lot of our psychology can be very simplistic and easy to pull apart.
Evolution is not an engineer, everything it produces was essentially made blindly through trial and error and hangs on bubble gum and string. Having something normalized in society doesn't mean it won't fuck you up.
There are two negative core emotions, pain and fear. What I’m hearing is that you’re afraid you’ll lose your boyfriend to a “better” woman. I would explore the root of that fear to better understand how to move forward. A lot of people will say “just break up,” but if your insecurity is based on some past event (bullying, for example), you’ll find it bubbling up again and again regardless of who you date.
A skilled therapist can help you find the root of your insecurity. If you don’t have access to a therapist, some very deep and painful self reflection might lend you some answers. Were your parents emotionally unavailable/neglectful? Were you constantly compared to your more successful friends/family members? Were you bullied? Etc
Come back around to this BF question once you understand yourself a little better. Then you’ll be able to answer these questions: Does it bother you because you feel like it’s violating your relationship boundaries? Does it bother you simply because it makes you feel insecure about your looks? Does it bother you because it makes you feel unloved? Does it bother you because you feel like it’s disrespectful? Etc
Goddamn the best advice you’ve gotten so far is from >>166635
but I say just skip to the part where you break up because trying to convince a coomer to give up porn isn’t worth the effort, especially when he’s more likely to agree then just watch it in secret anyway. Your time would be better spent finding a man who wasn’t addicted in the first place. Believe it or not there actually are men who feel the same way you do and prefer appreciating/interacting with their partner over looking at porn, but it’s tough to fully grasp that when you’re living in a bubble where the primary guy in your life is a dipshit. You sound young so please take it from someone who likely has more life experience: If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, they’re not worth your time and certainly not worth being your partner.
>I just wish that I was pretty then he wouldn’t feel the need to look at other girls
This is so sad and I can promise you that it has nothing to do with your looks. There are men with partners who are literal supermodels who still cheat on them and watch porn. On the other hand there are men with partners who would be considered average by the majority of the population but because they love their girlfriend’s personality they would never even dream of another person. It has everything to do with the (lack of) quality of the man and nothing to do with the woman not being “pretty enough.” That is a misogynistic trap, a red herring that tells us if we just put in more effort then somehow a piece of shit will transmute into gold. But no, alchemy is pseudoscience and even a woman being near flawless physically is still no remedy for a coomer’s brain rot.
I agree with the other anons encouraging a breakup, but >>166642
is right, too. You owe it to yourself and your future partners to sort out your insecurities. Ditch the coomer and figure out why you're desperate to hold onto such a worthless male in the first place so that it never happens again.
How can they be blackpilled lol, they are obsessed with men. Every single post is about them. Even the posts about big bad redditors and other ones that try to seem pinkpilled are obsessive, they are just whining how hard it is to get a man and how many bad ones are out there which in turn makes it harder to get into a relationship. They can't live without that dick.
If some of you don't agree go and look for yourselves critically. FDS is male fanclub. Even their anti-porn arguments are libfem as fuck. How often do you see them talking about trafficked women and rampant abuse in the industry? Nah. They only care about how their ex boyfriend had a broken dick and made them insecure due of his porn consumption. That's it. That's the big feminist crusade they are doing. If there was no talking about how to get a man, this shit would fall apart. So much for muh independence
even the political/racial stuff is based on how much harder it is to get a man as a PoC
, or that you have to put in more work to be considered pretty as a PoC
. kim, people are dying….
b-b-but feminism means m-men get benefits too!
Forreal this. FDS is made so women don't fucking die not to make more members of the Scrote fanclub
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>>166702>they are obsessed with men. Every single post is about them.
I mean, it is called female "dating" strategy. Why is it wrong for them to focus on a niche many women are interested in? It's a common, basic human desire to crave intimacy and partnership in life. Beyond that, saying they only post about men is patently untrue. There are a lot of posts that actively advocate for women to stay single and just live their best lives without a scrote dragging them down. One of the main concepts frequently pushed is, "If you come across a man who adds immense value to your life then cool, but if that doesn't happen you can still be super happy and fulfilled without a relationship." I don't see how that's promoting a male fan club. Also picrel was literally posted 2 days ago but go off saying they don't care about women damaged by the porn industry.
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FDS is really vibing for me as they get more radicalized and post content simply about how shitty scrotes are lmao. Things like this really help me remember being in a relationship just isn't worth it, even though the thought of a cute guy and physical affection can be tempting. The trade-offs and outright danger to both my mental and physical health just aren't worth it.
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Also these comments both made me laugh and triggered
my memories of abusive
Are they becoming more radical or is it just filled with r/gc refugees who think they are peaking other r/gc refugees? I don't think anyone has a problem with the concept of a female dating sub. If you look past the surface though, you will know that FDS isn't benign, considering it is literally based on r/trufemcels and r/vindicta beliefs and the mods are up to no good. Saying they are against BDSM, porn and prostitution one moment and giving tips on how to start sugaring/stripping the next. All while larping as a wannabe narcissist and desperate to make money off of the 'brand'. Part of becoming a 'HVW' to land yourself a 'HVM' is a quick trip to r/vindicta for tips on 'hardmaxxing'.
I think a lot of women feel personally attacked when anyone criticizes the FDS brand, (yes a brand, no it's not your fun cozy community) because that is how they found out about radical feminism and the like, but if you've actually looked past the surface, you would know how much of a shit show it is.
says, the mods and the core members aren't feminist in the slightest. They worry mainly about pretty privilege and competing with other women. Why? Because it was never fucking meant as a feminist sub and people who moved to r/gc eventually are desperately coping to retcon it to be that way and the mods are fucking loving it. Because they can sell liberal "feminism" 2.0 with coping radfems making it seem more radical than it is, all the while the mods encourage adolescents to do sugaring and stripping behind the more 'sensitive' members' backs.
If you just enjoy the memes, go right ahead, but please stop ass kissing this femcel/sugarbaby wannabe 'brand'. Just see what happens if you would even try to make your own kind of version of a female dating sub. Some have tried, to have something without all the femcel and latent pro-sexwork bs. The mods will mass report you for stepping on their turf and ban anyone who even posts on subs like that. They spend all day refreshing for any mentions of FDS.
>>168145> Saying they are against BDSM, porn and prostitution one moment and giving tips on how to start sugaring/stripping the next.>something without all the femcel and latent pro-sexwork bs
Can you link me to a single post within the last several months that idealizes sugaring and stripping in the sub? Because I only see posts against those things.
>I think a lot of women feel personally attacked when anyone criticizes the FDS brand… because that is how they found out about radical feminism and the like, but if you've actually looked past the surface, you would know how much of a shit show it is.
So your issue is that FDS is helping to peak normies despite the fact that the creators were prostitutes or whatever? Isn’t that a great thing then, that it’s helping women recognize their worth despite the fact it had shady origins? I really don’t see the problem with that if 99% of the people that browse the sub aren’t going to know or care about the founders. Plus it’s not like they’re getting fat stacks from a free online community.
> If you just enjoy the memes, go right ahead, but please stop ass kissing this femcel/sugarbaby wannabe 'brand'.
I don’t know why you’re so upset I posted a picture and comments recognizing women’s oppression and making fun of abusive
scrotes, in a thread dedicated to this particular sub. If the founders are pickmes then all the more reason for me to ignore them and instead focus on the positive community they inadvertently fostered. My posts had nothing to do with “ass kissing” a brand and everything to do with appreciating comments from women over men’s fuckery.
NTA but I sometimes scroll past the top posts of the sub and there are certainly some "sugaring" type posts about the men needing to spend on the jewellery and the looks of his woman amongst posts of "self-care is important, get yourself a ring for your own money". And the whole "women are a prize" narrative where men need to give financial support instead of focusing on positive traits to look for in a man. The whole subreddit suffers from dissociative identity disorder.
But it's not like lolcow is better, one anon posted making fun of a chick just because she's fat and bought a car and doesn't look like those dolled up sugarbabes that give dating tips on tiktok.>>166094
Nice sisterhood, kek.
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Saw this in another place here on lc, but thought it vibes with this thread too.
>>168163>there are certainly some "sugaring" type posts about the men needing to spend on the jewellery and the looks of his woman
I suppose. I'm not against criticism of the sub, and I do think that expecting a ton of expensive gifts early on is silly. That's love bombing, which is just as bad as a financial leech, and members do warn against that as well. I think most of the women are just advocating that you see some indication the man isn't a stingy hobo. Being able to afford a decent dinner if you're interested in a woman and giving gifts that are actually good quality (once you're in the relationship) I don't see as gold digging so much as proof the guy is a considerate partner. I've always done things like that for men I was in relationships with and got little effort back, so personally I simply see it as wanting someone who offers the same thoughtfulness I do. Though I agree a man shouldn't be able to "buy" you and that spending a lot of money isn't indicative of being a good person. >>166094
Yeah I thought this was pretty mean-spirited, but hey it's LC. I think posts like that are sweet and it makes me happy to see women valuing and doing things for themselves. Most men certainly won't and you shouldn't wait around for a guy to take care of you if you want a happy and fulfilling life.
Bahahah anon I'm late but I think the reason there's kboos is because kpop instills a lot of lookism in impressionable girls/women. Kpop fans get hyperfixated on their looks bc all of these idols are changing their faces and starving themselves to fit a perfect mold which they start to deem important themselves since it's so prevalent in kpop.
Personally I was into Vindicta because I just wanted to look better for myself with more thorough advice of what to do to improve mys looks than the typical "girl you're beautiful you don't need to change anything". I find that a lot of women there also have better aesthetics than some other subreddits but that's just me.
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Wtf FDS… I really liked this sub since it's one of the rare woman only spaces that doesn't suck troons kawaii girldick, so I didn't expected them to consider the hijab an ~armor~ and be like ~if it's the woman choice then it's empowering~. When they were the ones to call out liberal feminism and their ~if you choose to be a porn actress it's empowering then, get dat coin gurl! 1uwu~ Sounds hypocrite af.
I genuinely think the mod only posted it to keep Reddit from giving them the banhammer. They delete subreddits without warning if there’s even the slightest hint that they’re not worshipping the almighty troon, plus the mod responses in the comments alluded to the fact that they had to play by Reddit’s rules if they wanted to use the site. Idk, just felt very “wink wink nudge nudge”
Dunno about the hijab tho, hell if it makes hijabi feel comfortable enough to keep reading and soak in that FDS mindset maybe they’re more likely to ditch it in the future?
>>171436> Idk, just felt very “wink wink nudge nudge”
You're talking about the 'no racism, homophobia, transphobia' post right? Because I absolutely agree. Other subs with stickies like that get in their feelings about defending trannies and ~TWAW~, FDS has the bare minimum, totally neutral 'we must abide by reddit rules' stock response about it kek.
I do believe they're against racism and homophobia, they call men and even women out on it all the time… but they never do for transphobia. FDS being radfem/terf
aligned is bit of an unwritten rule/open secret and I think everyone understands how subtle you have to be about it to avoid getting banned on reddit. It's pro women and not pro scrot so no doubt mods are looking for any excuse at all to delete it.
The erectile dysfunction thing on the sub was always kind of weird to me.
Its taken as an accepted fact, but everytime someone posts sources, it comes from one of these """non-religious/non-partisan""" nonprofits that are stacked with ultra religious board members.
" for example. I googled a bunch of different people on there and they are all hardcore christian activists.
Not sure who you were looking at specifically, but here's some research from last year by a bunch of researchers presenting at the European Association of Urology: https://www.everydayhealth.com/erectile-dysfunction/pornography-habit-is-linked-to-erectile-dysfunction-research-suggests/
>they found that of those below age 35 who watched 300 minutes per week, 30 percent had ED compared with 10 percent in those who watched less than 30 minutes. In the 35 to 45 age group that watched 300 minutes per week, 40 percent had ED. >in the group below 35 we saw more ED then we expected, about 23 percent >Porn-induced ED is not caused by a low libido or an organic problem in the blood vessels or nerves of the penis. Twenty percent under age 35 say they need to watch more and more, or more extreme porn to get the same level of arousal to get an erection. And in those who feel they need to watch more to get the same level of arousal to get an erection [they] also watch more and have a higher addiction score
Fight the New Drug also has links out to research about how porn affects the brain from a bunch of different journals. (Select any of those topics and they list citations below the article) https://fightthenewdrug.org/get-the-facts/
Thanks. The first source you posted apparently supports it and looks very scientific.
fightthenewdrug.org however seems to be the same as endsexualexploitation.org. Its a religious (mormon?) organization astroturfing as a nonprofit:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fight_the_New_Drughttps://www.thedailybeast.com/porn-kills-love-mormons-anti-smut-crusade
i swear its like 90% of these sites…
Good points anon. Being against porn is a pretty spicy take these days because scrotes are addicted and don't give a shit about victims
, and most women have been shamed and socialized into thinking they should be all about it too. It's been so normalized now that religious groups are some of the only institutions left that are critical of it. Of course, they're every bit as misogynistic as atheists, just in a more traditional sense so liberals get to consider them "backwards" and feel superior since they degrade women in more modern, socially acceptable ways. If Mormons want to compile legit anti-porn research even as they abuse their wives, then I hope they continue right on with that (the compiling, not abuse).
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Some extra comments:
>Enjoy your salty relationship with a "nice guy" and his steady negs and sarcasm. You deserve it
>They can never handle the negs and sarcasm back and call you a bad person
This might not be a popular view on lolcow, but I like that sarcasm is being called out more often. Particularly coming from men. After knowing several scrotes that pride themselves on it, I will never interact with one who believes being sarcastic is an acceptable major personality trait. It's hilarious seeing quite a few men on dating apps specifically note how sarcastic they are in their profiles, as if this makes them paragons of wit and intellect rather than everyday assholes. 99% of the time they only want a convenient excuse to put other people down so they can feel superior. It's literally the bullying "It's just a joke bro!" approach and yet they start crying and saying you're "taking it too far" if you turn it back around on them. Weak and fragile little egoists. The only time sarcasm is actually funny is when it's used to mock shitty situations, like if someone works 2 jobs and still barely scrapes by then jokes that they're living in the lap of luxury as they heat up a $3 frozen meal. If a guy uses it to mock people, especially those he doesn't already have a close relationship with, he's just a dick.
there are men actually put that in their bio? lol wow
i would say constant sarcasm is a red flag as it diverts from a genuine expression of self
i wish i was less sarcastic just because of that, if anything
that said, it's fairly easy to counter a prissy sarcastic guy by confrontation ("what do you mean by that?") and just escalating things
why would a man bother paying for a meal on the first date (not that that's bad, I do it just bc) with a woman he doesn't know that he met online ?
at that point of him not knowing her, what worth is she ? very little
the 50-50 mentality is only wrong when the man actively pursued the woman and offered to take her on a date, but when it comes to online dating it's pretty implicit that both the man and woman want a date
>>171989>Apart from religious people, those with money don't bother to question porn industry because of how lucrative it is
im honestly starting to believe this is true.>>171990
The guy who ran the study apparently owns facebook.com/realbattleministries/. Which calls itself a "Christian Broadcasting Network Nonprofit Organization"…
This is the most logical conclusion. Who else really cares about pornography being harmful? Radfems? They don’t exactly have the money/influence to conduct scientific studies on porn. Religious groups are the only ones with the money and the inclination.
I definitely agree with being skeptical of who is funding these sorts of studies (you should always be skeptical of groups who are incentivized to want you to believe something), but there is pretty much no one else who cares to be critical of porn. More people are incentivized to be accepting
of porn because it’s such a lucrative industry for producers/some sex workers and everyday regular men can’t live without it. Anyone who makes money from or uses porn regularly (that’s a lot of people) don’t have any reason to study the negative effects. You’re basically trusting coca-cola to do a nonpartisan study on sugary drinks and obesity kek.
Don't people chat online for at least a couple weeks before meeting up?>at that point of him not knowing her, what worth is she ? very little
Female attention is worth WAY more than male attention. Women can live happily single, while men become severely mentally unstable if they don't get female attention. Besides with all the competition, any man worth his salt knows he needs to invest while the trash ones will try to skirt by on minimum effort. Not to mention the average woman is attractive, empathetic, good with personal relationships, unlike the average man. You are seriously undervaluing a woman's worth.
>>172137>Don't people chat online for at least a couple weeks before meeting up?
i have no idea, never done that.
convos fizzle out if i dont get a date set up, so i dont even bother with texting
also text personality =/= in-person personality such that i might like someone's text personality but their in-person personality is lame as shit, vice versa
>while men become severely mentally unstable if they don't get female attention.
hahaha really ?
i've always thought it's easier for men to be single, as women seem to yearn for emotional relationships while men yearn for pussy, and the latter is easier to relieve than the former.
i always come across women who jump from one relationship to another, as if they cannot handle being alone, while i do not see that as much with men
>unlike the average man. You are seriously undervaluing a woman's worth.
either I am overvaluing myself, or im above average, but one pattern i noticed is that men and women are equally average, but the imbalance is with many women who think they deserve more in a man than they are actually worth based on our current societal culture to empower women and making them more confident
you sound like a pickme tbh. in what world is pussy as equally cheap as dick?>i've always thought it's easier for men to be single, women seem to yearn for emotional relationships while men yearn for pussy, and the latter is easier to relieve than the former. >i always come across women who jump from one relationship to another, as if they cannot handle being alone, while i do not see that as much with men
you don't see women making memes and entire online communities/movements based on tfw no gf. also pusy is not easy to come by for the average male, they get much fewer matches from online dating and often will feign emotional attachment just to get pussy. dick is what's cheap, and women aren't as horny so they can go longer without a hookup. and the fact that so many average women can go from relationship to relationship means that they can easily find people to date and make connections with, whereas so many men are single. of course i'm speaking for normie women and not maladjusted terminally online ones
>>172155>you don't see women making memes and entire online communities/movements based on tfw no gf
ok that's true
dick is very cheap yes, and thats another thing that gives women the illusion that they're worth more because they have something that's more expensive, while ignoring the greatest factor in healthy relationships being personality, views and values>you sound like a pickme tbh
nah, just a dude
moooods!(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
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Agreed. Certain sarcastic comments can be funny in situational contexts, but people who try to be sarcastic all the time (or being just plain rude and then inaccurately calling it sarcasm when called out) are insufferable. It’s always who watch too much corny tv and think they are just like the characters.
>>172500>I don't think it is healthy to blindly follow and change your life based on some reddit posts.
FDS:>It’s okay to have standards and drop a man if he doesn’t meet them>Don’t stay in an abusive relationship>Don’t try to change someone, move on and find someone better suited to you>Don’t be dependent on a man for happiness or money>Do nice things for yourself and understand that while a partner can be great, you can have a wonderful life on your own too
Yes, the women espousing these horrible, toxic
, self defeatist outlooks are clearly not our friends and cannot be trusted. I can’t imagine why a community would develop around such vile adages. Stay frosty ladies, think twice before taking anonymous internet advice! Instead, listen to THIS anonymous internet dweller!
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NTA. It's mostly positive. But there are surely some weird sugarbaby fantasy tier LARPs. Sometimes they really can't decide if HVM is a good, understanding guy, or just some kind of russian oligarch's son.
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i creeped user understatedalways and it seems she's a single mother. I have nothing but respect for single moms but that really shattered the sophisticated sugar baby image for me
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Anyone else seen this, One of the big influencers in the FDS community, Michaela Pink a dating coach whose videos and rhetoric often get posted on FDS got arrested for money laundering and stealing from her clients
Sage for blogposting. That explains a lot. A friend of mine went from one great relationship (that she fucked up in because she broke up with him to 'trade up' with some other guy that didn't turn out well), into completely casual stuff, then into a horrible relationship and became addicted to fds after the last one made her insanely jaded.
When I pointed out how some of the stuff she was preaching from them very double-standard-y, or straight up toxic
(she unironically followed the '6 figures, 6 feet, 6 inches' rule, while telling me her suitors should date her for how ~unique~ and NLOG-y she is), she got insanely defensive. So far she's seen 40+ men and found none of them 'good enough' for her. She says this all while she doesn't want to waste time dating a guy that won't propose to her on the first year of dating either, so I have no idea how she'll achieve that.