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I've only read 5 pages and it's already sending me. These complete and utter cucks, jfc. I can't even feel bad for them, what else did they expect?
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How about not sharing male feminist (when he needs to get it wet) tiny limp dicc with a bunch of sisterwives
When it’s main target audience is drama class rejects too fat for Hollywood and cult leaders you know that won’t work with sensible, mature and self adjusted people
Polyamory is half baked hippy shit without any of the fun and more mommying men with massive egos and attachment issues
“ deeply troubled capitalistic nuclear family model? “ my ass if the ~partner~ doesn’t have any attachments there’s something wrong
Supporting the theory that poly is a way for hideous people to make sex with each other exciting enough to be tolerable, they also always have the most extreme vomit-inducing kinks. I think many kinky people are that way because they can't expect to get a sufficiently attractive partner, so need loads of additional stimulation from taboos, pain, etc. to get off. Same thing with polys, so they go hand in hand.
I used to be very sex positive libfem coolgirl and inevitably got involved with a poly guy. He was socially awkward but intelligent and only somewhat weird-looking, and looks don't matter don't be shallow hurr durr, so I went along with it and agreed to hang out at his place.
>he does not have bed sheets>maybe he just washes his pillows and blankets often?>no kitchen equipment to be seen>says all his meals consist of two kinds of frozen pizza like it's a normal thing>we sit on the couch and he talks about previous partners>"I used to be into fat people, all my partners so far were obese, after meeting you I have fantasized more about normal bodies though">isn't that cute>more talk and cuddling>"I should mention this early on, I have a thing about diapers">welp,>I don't want to be judgmental bc that would be kinkshaming and sex negative>"ok :):)">we meet a few times after that, he always wears diapers even when we're just hanging out, I don't know wtf I'm supposed to do
>one time I'm 10 mins early>he opens the door>his breath smells disgusting, I have never smelled anything that bad before>try not to vomit, try to not be shallow and judgmental, leave early anyway>I'm not implying he was eating shit, the smell was disgusting in a different way>I hope at least>I still don't know what it was and I don't want to know>I stopped seeing him after that
To his credit he never tried to pressure me into anything and the poor choices involved, like seeing him again after the first time or indeed not leaving after two minutes, were my own. However, I was young and inexperienced, and would like to put some blame on sex positive cool girl culture. I genuinely thought I somehow owed him a chance, and with the poly thing, breaking up felt more difficult ("if you're not looking for a single soulmate anyway, why not date me, you can always date others as well??").
After this, some part of me is still convinced that suitors should be vetted and approved by your parents, having kinks warrants calling over a priest, and anything sexual should happen in the context of proper monogamous matrimony only.
Cool girl culture is a defense mechanism in response to men telling women that we owe them infinite chances, empathy, servitude, and sex or else we're horrible shallow gold diggin' bitches.
I appreciate more and more anons waking up to the fact that being a cool girl won't benefit them though.>suitors should be vetted and approved by your parents
Heh, sometimes it's the blind leading the blind and hypocrites being hypocritical anon. Believe me.>kink warrants a priest's opinion and sex is only for marriage
You lost me there but everything else is agreeable.
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thank you for reminding me poly retards exist
Ah yes the comparison to being gay and how if being born gay isn't shameful then raising kids in a poly situation isn't either… the same argument that 'minor attracted people' lean on heavily >Well if you wouldn't shame a gay you can't shame me either!
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mfw my kweer art kid roommate keeps meeting hip "poly" they/them dudes on tinder and trying to start some kind of harem because they're shallow and need unrealistic amounts of validation from men but too kweercult to be a monog cishet, and then when these flaky weirdos inevitably ghost/refuse to commit roommate looks at me confused and goes "I just don't understand why they're all like this and this keeps happening!!"
they're weird and slightly unattractive but most of that is from trying too hard to play the hip non-binary NLOG role with the ugly bowl cut and hairy legs. they'd be cute if they toned that shit down and accepted they're a cishet deep down.
now that their idealized polyqueer relationships fell apart they're stringing along an old reliable ex who they forced to be "poly" back when they were together, and then treated him like he was flawed for being unable to handle it. they claim he's willing to "try poly again" let's see how this goes…
>>138064>later diagnosed with BPD in mental hospital
lol Not surprised. I was listening to a psychology podcast lately where the host was describing poly lifestyles as valid
. A lot of his listeners have BPD and send him in questions about bpd so all I could think was how hard it must be to be a therapist right now with BPD clients..and feel like you have to tip-toe around subjects like that
Being gay isn't a choice. Dating multiple people at once is.
Do some research on the FLDS and Kingston cults, then try to tell me you think polygamy is okay. Tumblr polyamorists are the minority– the majority of people lobbying for the legalization of "plural marriage" are Mormon fundamentalists who want their mistreatment of women and children to be legally protected.
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From the bad art thread kek, I don't know why exactly but it's just cracking me up, is this kind of life supposed to be fun or??
I resent these edu comics forcing poly lifestyles so much, like >>137967
They always have shittily drawn people with the dumbest "sympathetic" facial expressions, explaining their emotions in the same faux-serene, "emotionally sensitive" extreme doormat style. They really think this is how emotionally stable and rational people think and talk.>>138304
A poly environment is objectively more unstable, kids will likely lose many important parent figures. Not to mention the neverending drama they will be exposed to, and the adults that probably come and go in the house unless the relationship is strictly closed, which most aren't even if they initially try to be.
Most abused children are also abused by step parents, imagine having 5-10 step parents during your childhood years, who also aren't even vetted by your parent for the basic sanity and mental stability required for a monogamous long-term partnership or parenthood, just for how they fulfill some neeeeeds your parent's other partners can't fulfill.
Gay parents, unless they overlap with this culture, are usually aiming for, and perfectly capable of providing, a stable and safe environment.
My boyfriend is poly though I think he just likes the idea of having a harem. I met him once but otherwise we are long distance, and I think he only talks online to the other girls who are aware of this, at least the ones I knew never met him. I talked to two of the girls, I kind of liked both of them initially and ended up becoming friends with one of them even though she left him eventually, but the other one cheated on him and it seemed she always tried to brag about their relationship so it got tiring after a while. He let her back for whatever reason, but now we don't talk anymore.
It's funny because even my bf says he prefers to spend time with us individually, not all together, yet still has this idea of living with a bunch of women.
I'll say that both of the other girls were really overweight and had/have mental issues when they started talking, and while I'm not overweight I am very dependent and have a lot of other issues. I'm not saying this against him because he's a great person and I love him, I just think it shows the type of person who willingly stays in something like this. I think it could have some positives, but it's probably best kept separate for most of the time, otherwise I feel like there'd be too much conflict in general, I mean even normal relationships come with that so this just seems like added complications.
I think he is attractive. I know he had casual sex before, not sure about how attractive those women were but I suppose average given how he found them online too, and really attractive women get a lot of men engaging with them already. I never asked though.
He talks to me for over 6 hours everyday and improved my life in a lot of different ways, so I'm not really affected by other women rn.
I know it probably sounds fucked up from the outside. But he is amazing and I want to stay with him. I just don't think he really knows that there is a difference between having an actual harem and managing all the different conflicts vs just talking to some girls online. I mean, you can't seriously plan with people you've never met. I was really scared before meeting him, I know people can be very different irl.
>>138490>My boyfriend is poly>but the other one cheated on him
Wait so he's allowed to have multiple girls but he expects the girls to be exclusive with him??? Lmao wtf, a mutual poly relationship is bad enough but this is another level.
I hope that you're able to get therapy and heal your mind and soul. In the future you'll look back at this time of your life and cringe heavily.
Thanks for your concern, I appreciate it. But he is the only thing I really have rn. I mean, I have a lot of things that I like to do, I have a really good friend and I'm going back to school but all those things would feel empty without him, idk. But I mean, I don't think it's his fault, I had one previous relationship but I didn't love that person and I really love him and I'm attracted to him so I probably have a tendency to be dependent. But I can't blame him for that. Initially he did some things that may have reinforced it, but I don't think it was with that intention. Like when we started talking and I didn't do some things he asked me to (nothing serious, just stuff like being on webcam) he'd tell me he'd put me on no contact for a couple of days. That is the worst thing for me but then we got closer and it hasn't happened for a really long time. That's online though, irl he asked me to do something I really didn't feel like and I ended up crying because I thought he'd leave if I didn't. But he said I never had to do something I was uncomfortable with and that of course he'd stay even if I didn't. He said I shouldn't give him that much control over myself, even though he kind of likes it. But I mean, it's too late for that now and for some reason it makes me feel cared for.
I did some stupid shit though. He didn't show me his face for a year, and said he'd only show after he we had sex. But he says a bunch of shit that is very obviously a joke, but he was pretty insistent on this. I was into the idea but it's not like it's something you'd actually go through with.
Anyway, I ended up saving up for a trip (he's US and I'm from europe). My dad helped me because he knew it was important for me but he told me to not even think about not meeting him publicly or telling him where I was staying. I said ok many times, but actually when I got there I gave him my address and waited with my eyes closed. It ended up being great but I know it had a shitload of risks, even if I trusted him and even if we've been talking for over a year. Anyway I just don't know how I'd find someone else I'm so attached to. And I've never been as happy as when I was there with him so I just don't want to not be with him.
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Jfc anon…I'm not going to rag on you for having low self-esteem, or whatever (I don't think most posters here actually do) but…it really is very eerie to me how casual you're being about this whole thing. Nothing about this relationship is normal. Not wanting to show you his face until AFTER you have sex is so fucking bizarre it borders on psychotic. This guy honestly sounds really erratic and potentially even dangerous.
>I just don't know how I'd find someone else I'm so attached to
How old are you?
Everything about this sounds abusive
, not even exaggerating. Stop depending on him. GET A THERAPIST AND STOP RELYING ON HIM FOR COMFORT. This guys is dangerous, period, he made you not see his face, he could've hurt you and you would haven't had a way to tell the cops, he met you in your hotel room without anyone knowing, he could've raped you or mudered you, this is dangerous, you're in danger. And being on a situation were you could be hurt is MUCH worse than feeling lonely.
I know it sounds dangerous, and I had concerns when it was just an online thing, but after meeting him I know he wouldn't hurt me. He never even lost his temper with me and I've given plenty of opportunity for that. He does have issues and some weird ideas about relationships. But he never forced me to do something. With the face thing, I asked a couple of times if he'd change his mind, but I never said I wouldn't go see him unless he showed a photo or anything like that. He always said I can leave if I'm unhappy and he won't be vindictive about it. I think the sex without seeing him was a dominance thing which is a part of our relationship, and also maybe some insecurities because he kept telling me I'd be really disappointed once I saw him. I won't deny there are problematic
things about this, but after spending so much time with him and how our daily interaction is I just know he is not dangerous.
I'm not sure if he seeks out dependent women, it's probably rather that women like me are the ones staying. I mean, I think most mentally healthy women probably wouldn't want a dynamic like this. I'm very content to be with him, he really is everything but at the same time it gets really difficult when there are others involed.
>>138618>Most healthy women probably wouldn't want a dynamic like this.
So close to being self aware, but not. From what you are saying I don't think you will change your mind so it is ultimately your own responsibility to decide what to do. But I'm with the other anons in that this really does not sound healthy and this situation sounds very sketch. I don't know about others, but looks is one of the important things when wanting a relationship with someone, equal to personality. Not knowing what someone looks like even when agreeing to sleep with them can cause some issues or at least disappointment. IF he is insecure about it, that's his own problem and he should work on being comfortable with himself BEFORE expecting a stranger to. Also not even compromising after you asked to see his face several times is not very respectful.
And the not forcing part doesn't mean too much. In a lot of social situations (I know from past experiences as I'm working on it too) people will often go along with things even if they don't feel 100% comfortable with it so as to not be rude or offend someone. There may not be force, but if you feel obligated to stay even if you have a variety of issues that is not healthy either.
I know you're right about a lot of things, but really him being like this isn't really the issue. I mean, every day we just just hang out and play games and watch shows and talk about stupid things and it's just nice. My problem is more that he has a lot of trust issues and because of that he doesn't want to commit to one person. But I'd feel terrible if he started spending that much time with someone else as he does with me.
I'm still not sure what his main reasoning was with not showing his face. He did say that normally he would've shown it but I let him take it that far, and I mean that is true, I went along with it willingly. I think though that I got very lucky that I ended up really liking what he looks like, or even just staying attracted to him, I met someone before him that I got to know online and I saw photos, I thought it was going to be great and it just sucked, he was just different somehow, I didn't even like what he smelled like, a bunch of things you can't predict.
I'm in my early twenties. I'm not really experienced though because before him I just had crushes on people who usually didn't even know that I existed, and in case I did get to know them I just stopped being interested. This is the first time it's different, and it took me a long time to feel like I love him. And he helped me through so much and has given me so much that even if I wanted to, starting over with a new person would just feel shallow somehow. I know it's probably not that rational to say this since I've only known him for around 2 years but still.
But ofc I know I should have other priorities. And I want things outside him, but something about it just really drew me in so it's how it is now. I waited around 6 months too see him from when I originally planned to go, at first he had health issues, then I was too broke, and it was really the only thing I looked forward to. I think part of the reason I was okay with taking a bunch of risks was that I started to feel like not seeing him made living worthless, so I'd rather something bad happened on my trip than not go. I know that's dumb, but I was really depressed. Then it was probably the best thing I've done, I mean I was finally happy for a while after years of feeling empty, and of course that reinforced that I just don't feel complete without him. It's kind of fucked up but I think it's on me. It's not his fault that I feel this way about him.
i agree with >>139919
please dump him, you don't need this in your life and can do much better.
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im guessing they look like this
Ah yes the classic white woman going by something asian
That aside, there is an overlap of poly people and mental illness or being nurodivergint.
Some of my personal cows where both depressed or had some disorder and one of them was with fucked up trannies.
My insta reels has this Autistic asian british woman and her whole page is about being bi or poly
Everything about this seems off and it honestly sounds like this guy is seeking out mentally ill women to make them dependent on him.
Do you have a friend or therapist you can trust? If not I think you should really make an appointment. I really want you to have someone to turn to in case this doesn't work out.