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No. 146198

Have you ever had a guy or a girl pretend to like you? I just found out a guy I've been talking to for a while now only pretended to like me because they were insecure and I gave them attention and validation. I feel so pathetic and humiliated right now.

No. 146200


I’m sorry you went through this, anon. I know you’re hurting now but honestly you have nothing to be ashamed of. That person has such low self esteem that they only feel any sense of worth when other people give it to them, even if they have to fake who they are and what they feel. They are the ones who are truly pathetic.

You were taken advantage of by someone scummy through no fault of your own. It’s not a bad thing to feel affection for someone you thought deserved it. At least you were actually brave enough to put yourself out there in a real way while they were so cowardly they had to hide behind a lie.

In time you should be happy to know you won’t waste a second more of your precious time on someone like that. Just because they were too absorbed in their own neuroses to recognize your value doesn’t mean you have none. It just takes a similarly good person to see it.

No. 146202

i'm really sorry to hear that this happened to you, anon. don't waste anymore time with them; just know that this says more about them than it does about you. none of this is your fault and you'll get through this.

No. 146205

In high school this guy who I'd never even talked to or seen before tried to court me out of nowhere. Luckily I was weirded the fuck out and also self-aware enough to know that I'm too ugly to attract legitimate attention.
Anyway, after a couple weeks of my friends futilely trying to convince me to take him up on his offer, it comes out that this dude's whole strategy was to hit up the ugliest dozen or so girls in school, hoping that they'd be so desperate they'd immediately date/sleep with him.

I may be ugly, but I am not stupid, lol.

No. 146212

Good post, I wholly agree.

I am sorry you feel this way, OP.
The important thing is that you found out in time before spending more time with phony people.

I am having a strange thing myself lately, I don't know exactly how to feel about it.
I am in a life-long relationship with the man I love, and never looked for attention from anyone else, neither felt the need to.
Then suddenly a guy on facebook DMd on the basis of mutual appreciation of our shitposting, and even openly tried to approach me. I was delighted by it, genuinely laughed about it at first but it gave me a gigantic ego boost, especially considering the guy never saw a picture of me (and neither I ever saw a picture of him).
I know he tries to hook up on several girls on the internet because he is an incel, but even after I told him I am not interested in knowing him irl because I am in a solid relationship, he still DMd just to talk about random shit.
We've been having these totally random chats for 6 months now, I assume it's a mutual ego-boosting relationship where we both agreed that we like each other for being funny and carefree in our exchanges, and that's it.
I expect it to finish as soon as he'll get bored or will seriously fall in love with a girl who will draw all his attention irl, but in the meantime am I supposed to feel bad for enjoying the attention he gave me?

No. 146371

That's seriously messed up, sorry to hear that. If you don't mind, how long did you two talk for? Was it online or in person?

No. 146372

How would you feel if your partner had the same thing going on with someone else?

No. 146378

I am going through the same thing. It is fucking with my mind. I did insult him badly though.
Remember that you didn't do anything and this person is an asshole. You deserve better and I hope you find someone that appreciates you.

No. 146388

Not sure. I guess it's only natural for someone to enjoy attention in general but when it comes to partners and jealousy, that's a moral gray area.

No. 146407

I used to have a friend who was literally networking as a personality type. If I did something that everyone else in our friend group considered funny/impressive/cool, I was suddenly her best friend and she wanted to spend every minute with me. She'd drop me like a hot potato whenever someone cooler was around to go live vicariously through them instead. She was just fake as hell through and through.

Thing is, this all happened in middle school and high school, so not really a huge deal. People act like idiots in their teens, right? Well, I ran into her a few years ago (we live in the same city as adults now) and she invited me out for drinks/dinner to catch up the following week. So I go out with her and I shit you not, halfway through dinner, she runs into a separate group of friends, invites them over to our table to eat/drink wtih us, and spends the rest of the night talking with them and ignoring me. It was fucking bananas. I wasn't even mad tbh; I guess in a way it was kind of validating because I didn't think she had changed and I ended up being right kek.

No. 146438

I don’t know if he pretended to like me or what his reasoning was for what he did, but he lead me on very hard.

Told me that he loved me first and would say it pretty often. Said that he wanted to spend every day together. Brought me over to meet his friends. Talked about moving into an apartment together. Then he went and turned around on me saying that I was the one who had strong feelings and he decided to cut ties with me because of it. Damn, if you don’t want someone to have strong feelings for you maybe don’t tell them you love them and act like you want some type of future with them?

This is what I get for giving some dude who looked different in person from his pictures the benefit of the doubt.

No. 146440

Once someone openly approaches you, entertaining any sort of exchange is pretty iffy.

No. 146500

>tfw I've been going through this too
Been talking to a guy for a few months now and he seems pretty interested but I always wonder if it's not me, but just that I'm a female who actually gives him attention.

He has his shit together and isn't an incel which is even weirder

No. 146509

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I always tend to get people going full retard and telling me everything and anything that has ever happened in their life, they just want attention, and I usually give them a few crumbles here and there, but I don’t really get involved in their lives as they want me to.

I guess some people just attract those attention seekers more than others, I’ve had at least three weirdos telling me about their last breakup, their suicidal tendencies or that one person they really really like.

I particularly feel extremely uncomfortable when they start talking to me for a few hours and then they go:

>hey! I like this person a lot and I wish they paid attention to me!!1!1!

Like, why? Specially after flirting with me, it’s weird af and a huge turn off, I usually give them some love advice even though I’m single and then just let the whole thing die.

No. 146538

Omg the same thing happens to me, i think i might just be to nice, people irl and on the internet will tell me the story of their life and use me as their therapist.

I know i just should tell them to fuck off but i want to be liked so badly.

No. 146551

This is why I don't bother with e-friendships anymore. Does it happen to you in private messages? Guys get too attached it's ridiculous.

No. 146555

Ugh, it depends. My partner knows a shitload of people and keeps internet contact with many, I'd be jealous if he kept some of these hidden from me, but I do not hide the fact that this guy was DMing me, he even was in the same room with me several times during these chats.
When he asked me about it I told him the guy was initially trying to hit on me.
My partner could access my fb account anytime and read all the chats no problem, I never gave the guy any hope nor talked inappropriate stuff (we mostly speak about everything and anything, often about his problems with girls and with getting laid).
I don't expect it to become an actual friendship and it is not proper flirtation either.
I don't think it will go on much longer anyway, the only reason it did until now is because 90% of the times it's him starting a new conversation and me just being glad to respond.

I know, the strangest thing is that none of us knows much about the other, because none of us is using real name for the account nor pictures of ourselves. There is no chance in hell I am ever showing him a picture of me, and I am not interested in his looks either.
Paradoxically, "attracting" him without looks or personal details being involved is what fascinated me the most about the random chats.

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