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/g/ - girl talk

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No. 161420

I think this is something that is talked about across multiple threads and would be interesting to discuss in general!

This thread is for all kinds of discussion about friendships, how you make friends, how you get rid of friends, what kind of friends you keep around, when you outgrow a friend, shallow vs deep frienships, toxic or amazing friendships etc. Go wild

No. 161439

I don't have many friends, and the ones I do have I don't really like. I constantly feel like they can't keep up with me. I know I'm super self centered and want to change that but I can never just relax and have fun. Everything has to be under control (not necessarily mine) and planned out or I have a hard time coping. For example, I currently hate my roommate who has been my friend for years. Ever since living together I just can't stand being around her, she doesn't clean up how I'm used to and leaves the room whenever I try to show her something funny or fun (that I KNOW she enjoys because we both have the same interests in TV shows and music). It's so annoying and I can't stand her anymore.

On a related note, does anyone feel like they're better friends when there is a distance between them?

No. 161440

I have an core friend group, we're 4 and they're the lights of my life, genuinely. We've been together since high school and I'm so glad we understand each other so well.
> how you make friends?
I'm only interested in having female friends, male friends have disappointed me everytime so I don't even bother now. Aside from my group, I started other friendships just by sharing an space (a class, a meeting with more people, a sport, anything) and initiating conversation, maybe by complimenting them or asking a question, then we exchange numbers and usually start doing activities related to the activity we share (such as studying for an exam)
> how you get rid of friends?
I only did it once. Also in high school, she wasn't a good friend and we both grew up apart so we talked about it, I told her that we should take some time and that it didn't felt the same as the start (sounds like a relationship break up haha) and ended up in very good terms because she felt the same. We've talked a little bit during the quarantine, I like to check up on her because she's quite unstable
> what kind of friends you keep around?
People who can be there when I need help are my true friends, I take my time to be comfortable with someone and that's very important in a friendship, I think

No. 161441

Have any anons had friendships where a friend wants to be a lot closer than you would like? I have a friend who I was roommates with for many years. Because I lived with her, I supported her through a lot of mental health crises and kept her company because she often felt lonely as she doesn't have a good relationship with her family. But to be honest we really don't have any interests in common. Now that I've moved elsewhere, she messages me multiple times a week to talk about random shit and she asked me if I wanted to start videocalling with her weekly. I made up an excuse and said I was too busy to chat weekly. I'm sure I could make the time if I wanted to, but we really have no interests in common. All she ever wants to talk about with me are the normie Netflix shows she's been watching, drama within her friend group, or things related to men. She also barely knows anything about my own interests because whenever I try to mention them I can see her eyes glaze over. It's almost as if it isn't her fault but that she just can't talk about anything that isn't directly related to her. It's tiring because I have to mold my personality in order to fit with hers to stimulate conversation, which is fine, but because of that I wouldn't consider her a close friend although she seems to want to be. I feel guilty because I know that she's lonely, but also whenever she messages me I can't help but sigh and feel like it's an obligation to respond because I'm really not interested in most of the stuff she has to say.

Yeah, I get along best with friends whenever I have a healthy distance between them. I don't know if it's because I have a horrible personality or something. I also find it hard to meet people I genuinely get along with. I think that some people are more independent than others and that they function best with a bit of space to be on their own. I know there are some girls who can see each other everyday and never get sick of each other, but even seeing my best friend once a week becomes a strain on both of us. Perhaps it is self-centered, but socializing and having fun shouldn't have to be a chore! Ideally we could meet people who we feel we can completely be ourselves around, but they are too few and far in between- at least in my experience.

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