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No. 180309

I noticed we have a lot of ladies on here who struggle with drinking problems so I decided to make this thread.

>Talk about your relationship with alcohol, negative or positive

>Are you an alcoholic, how much do you drink and how often
>Healthy coping mechanisms
>Brag about sober streaks and encourage other anons
>Tapering, rehab etc discussion

If you're happy and drunk go to the drunk thread. >>>/ot/204765 This is for more critical discussion of drinking once you're sober.

No. 180529

thanks for the thread.

i'm in my last year of my master's program and struggling a lot with alcohol, have been since undergrad approx. 7 yrs ago.

i have a little while sober now (maybe a month?). i'm not counting days just white knuckling it. i don't really have a support system and i hid my drinking pretty well so no one to talk to about cravings, etc.

i've been working out a lot which has been cool, and not drinking has obviously significantly improved my ability to focus on my research and start writing up the results.

i hope this thread picks up, i think it could be useful for anons like me.

No. 180538


I dropped out in my final year from a simple undergraduate degree in the final few months, got too sick to continue and the heavy drinking didn't help. Reading that someone is actually persevering academically through an ongoing hellscape - it makes me proud of you, and makes me wonder what my fucking problem was/is.

No. 180566

I'm an alcoholic who's been sober for nearly 2 years now (early May 2019). My drinking wasn't to the point I was super physically addicted (yet) but I saw the road I was headed down and I knew I had to make a change. It took many tries but finally something just clicked in my brain and I quit cold turkey.

I drank every single day, almost always by myself, and it took a huge toll on my mental and physical health. I wanted to quit for a long time but every time I told myself I wasn't gonna stop at the liquor store it was like an alcohol spirit possessed me and I just floated to the liquor store to buy beer. It was super hard at first not to listen to that part of me, but finding distractions and taking it a day at a time, an hour at a time, or even just 5 minutes at a time really helped. That and La croix lmao. Once I got past a few weeks it got easier, especially after noticing how much weight I immediately lost, how much less red my skin was, and how much my digestion improved.

Life has thrown me a lot of curveballs the past couple years since I got sober but I'm very grateful that I'm clear headed to deal with it. I can't imagine what kind of mess I'd be in if I hadn't quit drinking. Any anons that want to quit: as cheesy as it is, I believe in you :) Try getting through just small increments of time without drinking. Commit to going to day without drinking, or even less time, and once that time is up, try it again. In my experience, that was a lot easier than trying to go like a month or longer without drinking.

Congrats on your sobriety streak anon, keep it up

No. 180570

I’m not in AA, but I joined NA after my last major relapse with alcohol in November because I’d had other addiction issues in the past, and genuinely working the program is the best decision I’ve ever made. I’m over 5 months without a drink now. It’s the longest I’ve gone without alcohol for like… fifteen years now? A lot of the 12-step stuff sounds real corny, and it is hard work for sure, but the sense of love and community I get from my home group is overwhelmingly worth it. I don’t feel like a NEET waste of space anymore because doing service work for my group gives my life purpose. Plus, there are a ton of women’s meetings and groups - I know LC has a lot of radfems or otherwise burned-out-on-TRA-shit anons, and the relationships I’ve been building with other women in the program have been really refreshing in that sense, it feels safe to be female and to acknowledge that that means something specific. Really recommend checking out meetings if you’re even vaguely curious, there are a ton of Zoom meetings now because of the pandemic so it’s really easy to drop into one at any time of day!

No. 180588

Thank you for the thread! I’d like to ask some advice from the sober anons here as someone who’s getting worried about the path she’s going down. I drink practically every evening alone in my room. If I realize there aren’t any drinks in my house one night, I feel quite antsy, and like my day’s not complete without it. How do I shake off this attitude about alcohol? l

No. 180590

Change your environment and routine. If nothing changes externally, it is difficult to change bad habits. Those habits become deeply associated with the environment and routines, and inertia will be pulling you back from change. To overcome inertia, which is a huge force, you need to change multiple things about your lifestyle. So you need to change many things to help you change one. Don't be home in the evening or don't be alone, those are environments that support your alcoholism, you need to get rid of such routines.

No. 180593

Thanks for the cold splash of reality, anon. I enjoy being alone but I see how it’s doing me harm too. I’ll work towards those major changes.

No. 180608

I'm not an alcoholic but sometimes I have a strong craving for alcohol and it scares me. How often does one have to drink alcohol in order to qualify as an alcoholic?

No. 180613

Grats on almost 2 years, anon! I want to go cold turkey myself but the last time I tried the side effects were really killer so I've been tapering very slowly and keeping a bottle on me for a swig when I start to feel the imminent dread wash over me. I've managed to reduce my alcohol consumption a lot…now a litre can last me a week instead of 2 days …but the next step is to just stop. I don't know why I feel so much weird anxiety about completely quitting, it's as though the presence of alcohol just being in my home is soothing. If I don't buy anything for the night I feel weirdly on edge, "what If I need it".

No. 180616

For me anon, the signs were alcohol becoming part of a routine. It wasn't just drinking when I go out or picking up a bottle in celebration of something, it was the expectation of everyday at 6pm when I get off of work, I have a drink. That graduated into 2 drinks…then 3…then I started drinking earlier in the day, started drinking to fall asleep, then would spend entire evenings drinking just for fun. Not drinking would become the rarer circumstance.

No. 180749

Thank you! Congrats on you reducing your consumption. I totally feel you on that anxiety. Alcohol is like an extremely unhealthy security blanket and it's hard to get used to the idea of getting rid of it completely. Best of luck! You can do it, anon

No. 180750

Sorry I'm samefagging, I meant to reply to this as well in my last post. For me, it wasn't completely the frequency of my drinking (I did have at least a drink or two every day, but usually more) but moreso my attitude towards alcohol. I was constantly thinking about my next drink. Even while I was currently drinking, I was thinking about the satisfaction of opening my next beer. If I was at a social function with alcohol present but other people weren't getting wasted, I was anxiously trying to make it seem like I was only having one or two drinks and constantly thinking about how badly I want to just slam them back. For me it was an obsession.

No. 181019

Thank you! I did my first 24 hours completely sober in almost two months. I did not get the best sleep admittedly but at least I managed to get some sleep at all. The lucid dreams were awful but I know they eventually go away. Now I just need to not do my usual habitual liquor store run and keep the streak going.

No. 191197

Fuck. Sometimes I get it in my head that I want a drink and it's like I will do anything to make that happen once the thought is there. It's so overwhelming.

No. 191206

Not the most consistant or constant alochol problem.. But I've had a handful of times where my life was falling apart so I got shitfaced drunk and then got the guts to overdose while in that state. My marriage ended that way. My husband had an alcoholic dad so at the first signs of me abusing alcohol he left. I drank after he left and came very close to suceeding in ending myself. Months in hospital. A few years later when I left a course and found myself between jobs too I started to daydrink wine, I sent nudes to strangers and slept around with whoever was close by. I was filling time. I was panicked about my lack of direction. I was distracting myself from the thought of ending myself.

Then recently, after finally getting letters about my divorce I drank myself into a blackout and sent some emails that I have no business sending after this many years of leaving my husband alone. I lost my 8 year track record of moving on civilly…just like that. I hated myself for it. I tend to hate myself for the things I do while drunk. It doesn't happen often but it happens whenever I'm at a crossroads and it fucks things up.

I don't have a good relationship with drink. I very much use it for all the wrong reasons. Even if I don't do it with great frequency…it fucks things up. It helps me to make the worst decisions.

No. 191217

Fuck me again. My neighbors are all chilling in the alley and asked if I wanted to come over for beers.

No. 191219


I know your pain. I would spend most days just crossing my fingers hoping that that thought didn’t come up bc if it did I 1000% would be drinking/using, it was like an unstoppable process. I had not a single tactic for combating it. I would only hope it didn’t happen to me lol so obvi I relapsed all the time.

I was so fucking shocked the first time I actually had a craving like that and managed to actually work through it.
I was missing the thoughts/feelings that would happen directly before that craving.. for me it went something like this….
>feel bad/uncomfortable
>oh no here it is again, I’m feeling bad
>idk how to fix it
>worried I may feel bad my entire life and never get better
>am now craving
> have no idea where craving came from
>it will only end once I drink. might as well get it over with

When I caught that thought pattern happening for the first time I said,
“wait now that’s a little ridiculous. Sure u feel bad now but that doesn’t mean you’re auto doomed to spend your whole life feeling bad. You might but u also might not.”

And when I had that lil convo with myself the craving went away.. it was the first time I ever managed to make a craving go away by just working thru my thoughts. It’s not foolproof but it’s something..
I was only noticing the craving and immediately indulging it to make it and the bad feelings go away…

Sorry for the long windedness. I just spent years having that same type of craving before I realized it was actually in my power to not give in. Nobody ever laid it out for me like that.. I hope something I said helps.

No. 191225

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I was hospitalized for chronic pancreatitis. When the nurse said I had a drinking problem, I was like, "That's absurd." My body will never recover from the binge drinking I did.

In 2019, I had an LSD trip at the beach while partying with some friends. I had some realizations that basically came down to this:

>I was drinking to self-medicate my social anxiety

>I didn't know how to talk to other people sober
>I didn't know how to have fun sober anymore either

I was sober for 2 months after, but because I was still involved with the party scene, it didn't last. My boyfriend wasn't very supportive either. We broke up while wasted on the most miserable trip of my life Valentines 2020. And spend the next 48 hours getting wasted next to each other without looking at one another or speaking a word.

I started dating a sober guy a few weeks later. Then he convinced me to ask him to start drinking a few days after that.

Spoiler: He was an alcoholic.

While I can say I have a problem with alcohol, it seems secondary to my other mental problems. This was like nothing I experienced before. He started drinking anything that had alcohol in it: mouth wash, hand sanitizer, vanilla extract. If it had alcohol in it, he found it. And drank it.

Just over a year ago, I watched him accidentally start to withdrawal because he didn't stock up for a Sunday (we can't buy alcohol on Sundays here). He started shaking really badly, then projectile vomiting, then having delirium. I asked if we should go to the hospital, he said no. Every time I drifted off he would wake me up and say he thought he might really be dying. We would go to my car, he would go back inside and puke.

Finally I drove out to my my mom and dad's house and snuck in to get some beers because it was 4am and I didn't know where else to get them. Apparently he had a seizure while I was gone. He told me, "If you hadn't helped, I genuinely think I would be dead now."

A week later, he was drinking at the same level he was the week before.

My body responds really badly to alcohol since then. I physically can't tolerate it anymore. It makes me sick and my insides cramp just after a few sips. I'm almost a year sober. He ended up checking into rehab and just celebrated a year sober last week.

No. 191226

Mel Gibson's looking rough these days

No. 191228

That sounds so scary dealing with someone who was in that deep. I'm glad you're both doing better. Do you mind if I ask how much and for how long you were drinking? I worry about adverse health effects. I've drank more days than not in the past 4 years. A least a 6pack. One of the reasons I want to quit because my boyfriend broke down crying wondering if I would just up and die one day from drinking. I don't want to let anyone down by being so destructive anymore.

No. 191230

I started drinking when I was 21. I started binge drinking regularly when I was 23. When I was 25 I had the pancreas issues. I stopped drinking when I was 27. At that time I would say I would only drink 2-3 beers at night. On weekends I might drink 10 beers a day give or take depending on how much hard liquor I drank. My pancreas issues are chronic, and I can't eat certain foods anymore without pain.

If you think you need help- get help now. Alcoholism can worsen with age. People can stay at the "functional alcoholic" stage for a while. But you're at risk of passing that very rapidly, and it can get dangerous in the ways that I described in the other post. It has to be your decision though. You can't do it for someone else.

If I was you I would:

>Write a plan for cutting back

>Speak to your doctor, you may want to consider anti-anxiety meds for the first month
>Identify what your triggers are that will cause you to drink

You'll likely need to replace alcohol with some other kind of beverage because your brain is going to be so attached to the habit. This can help you manage while the craving passes.

No. 191251

I didn't drink tonight. My thought process is very similar to what you posted. Tonight sucked and who knows about tomorrow but shit is closed now and there's nothing I can do about it. I appreciate your post.

No. 191254

Wow anon, that was a hell of a story. I've never been an alcoholic but at one point I definitely indulged too much. My ex was not a great person and had issues surrounding booze that starting rubbing off on me as a coping mechanism. Since I left him I've been completely sober and don't regret it at all. I don't even like alcohol or the way it makes me feel but it was easy to use it as a sort of shield against other things that were going on. Congratulations on getting sober, that's amazing and you're really strong to have gotten through that. I'm sort of side eyeing your partner(? not sure if you're still together) for having gotten you into it again but that's cool he managed to break the addiction as well.

No. 191272

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Quitting would be a lot easier if being tipsy wasn't so much fun.
I was kind of going through a rut this past week but at least didn't drink for a couple of days. Then last night I hit the booze again and I had a great evening by myself, just laughing at random funny stuff and enjoying the breeze and my own thoughts and the absurdity of it all. Like a veil was lifted and the world gained some color. It's not like I think it's impossible to enjoy life while sober but fuck if it isn't a whole lot harder.

No. 191276

I don't have anything to contribute here yet but I'm so, so glad this thread has been made, thank you so much, OP! I've been drinking on-and-off since I was 15, I'm now 30 and in 8 days time I'll be six months sober. I met my fiancée at AA and now work with my local AA and NA groups so community is very important to me. Stay strong, ladies. We're gonna make it. ♥

No. 191289

You get used to it. It takes a while, but it's possible to achieve these states without alcohol.

I still smoke weed a couple times a month before eating a meal or watching something, and that's chill.

No. 191299

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>Imagine being so autistic that you had to drink a gin in order to be able to browse this thread

Nowadays I can only function like a normal human with at least one drink

No. 191309

I’m 30 as well and starting drinking a lot more around 26~ after an abusive relationship. I can go a few days sober sometimes, maybe 2-4 has been the longest but it’s very hard and I’m looking for a community as well. I tried for a meeting recently but it was on zoom, I want the kind in the movies lol like we sit in group and talk. Thank you for what you’re doing by giving back to the community once you achieved sobriety. Heart emoji.

No. 191414

Gonna make it through tonight. Keep thinking about the calories, it's the only thing that's helping kek

No. 191428

I believe in you, nonna! The pounds really do just fall off when you're sober…. alcohol is the worst source of liquid calories.

No. 191431

Thank you anon! I've been trying to eat all my calories before the evening when the sad sets in and it's way harder to drink as much as I want (or even at all) when I'm full tbh.

No. 191443

I don't struggle with alcohol addiction but I'm just curious if any of you have tried naltrexone? I've heard of it working really well and not working for others. in some countries it's part of rehabilitation programs, but not in the US as far as I know. and if you're in the US I don't even know how you'd get it.

No. 191452

i feel really pressured to drink and idk how to feel abt it

No. 191462

Hey anons. I don't have a drinking problem but I grew up with a parent who did. I saw this a few months ago. The science is a little… off (it's from the 70's lol), but it's still fantastic to watch. Dick van Dyke is a pretty cool guy, and he spoke about this at a time when it was beyond taboo to discuss. Hope it helps a little.

No. 191471

I don't like anons posting advice with stating they don't have alcohol issues first. I'm not organizing anything to stop them and I'm not going to report them and they probably mean well but it does irk me.

No. 191479

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I wish it would at least make me gain. Instead it just makes my face bloated as fuck in the morning, so weird.
>had to move back to parents because of covid
>your classic french boomers who drink a wine bottle everyday
>since it's summertime they also open a rose one for apero
>I get drunk everyday
Even when I don't want to drink, it's so hard to say no for some reason. I quitted for like 1 week before with picrel, it's the only 0.0 beer that actually tastes like beer

No. 191481

Not weird, anon. Alcohol will do that every time regardless of your weight/age especially if your habits are consistent.

No. 191484

None of them are posting advice though.

No. 191488

Lack of a better way to describe it I guess. I think my point got across.

No. 191493

I also started drinking more after an abusive relationship, it's a very common catalyst for alcoholism. Ugh, Zoom meetings are the worst. I find it very hard to speak, even now, and being on webcam just isn't the same, so I know how you feel. Now that COVID restrictions are easing up in most countries I would ask about IRL meetings as they're starting up again (albeit in mostly reduced numbers). I know the program can be hard but if you can stick with it, it's worth it. Having a sponsor is very helpful, I don't always want to attend a meeting but having that one person I can rant to over an informal setting like getting some takeout is very helpful. The keyrings/chips are good too for something tangible reminding you of your process. I wish you luck, nonna. ♥

No. 191514

>Even when I don't want to drink, it's so hard to say no for some reason.
I get this, anon. My most recent sober streak was broken because of a family reunion. I kept saying no I don't want anything but my stepdad kept offering me really fancy champagne. Then they left the bottle at my place and I drank the whole thing. It's like all of my self control disappears once there's any alcohol in my vicinity so I have to avoid it.

No. 191637

I hear you. The meetings aren’t the same. I had gone to a few with my old male best friend and the sense of community and togetherness is so different compared to virtual, where it’s easy to overtaking others and similarly over share with little regards to the visible people around you. Idk how I’d like having a sponsor as it feels odd to think of confiding mindlessly in someone who has an all but arbitrary relationship to you outside of the program. Maybe I’m being cynical cus I’ve never tried it but I like the “I am sober” app cus its anon social media and there’s realistic shit you can compare yourself to. But even then it doesn’t feel like enough.

No. 191657

Made it 3 nights. Feeling fine physically, just antsy. I can usually make it this far but then manage to fuck up in some huge fashion soon after. Got some edibles for sleeping and I'm going to try to exhaust myself tomorrow by going on a long walk and staying off my ass much as I can and go to bed early.

No. 191680

A heatwave is coming soon where I live and it may be good news for people like me who strongly prefer colder temperatures and for those currently enduring the summer heat. The sweating sucks but just as it's harder to eat hearty foods, I found that how much I drink around this time is drastically reduced in favour of other things like fizzy mineral water. I assume everyone knows how dangerous it can be to drink excessively during hot summers, especially if heat and humidity make you drowsy. I am also one of those weirdos who don't fridge their beer, so I can't trick my brain into thinking it's refreshing. Literally cut my consumption in half this way, which is good. Still a long way to go but if I get to a place where I don't use drink as an accelerant to just get my emotions over and done with quicker, and be able to enjoy a beverage moderately and in peace without self loathing, that would be pretty sweet.

No. 191724

I told my parents I don’t drink anymore multiple times over the last couple years, and my dad still asks me to share a whiskey every time I see him. I would have been sober longer by now if not for him.

I dropped my friend group because of the pressure, but it has gotten easier saying no to my family.

Having something in my hand already (like coffee or seltzer) helps. I even got into energy drinks specifically because it sorta looks like a beer can, so they forget to pressure me.

No. 191727

Walking helps. Anything you have that can act as a sedative helps too. Your nervous system will be in overdrive the first week or so.

No. 191966

Bizarre trigger but watching football makes me crave a drink. Football was always an excuse for me to go to the pub because it was either too expensive to pay for the match on tv (even though I probably spent more money downing lager and whiskey) or if the match was on a free channel I would go to the pub for the "atmosphere". What horseshit I told myself and others kek. I might get some alcohol free beer in and see how I fair with that. I've had some in the past and it tastes pretty nice tbh, not that taste matters much as I just need something to neck real fast to scratch that particular itch. Wish there was alcohol free whiskey though, now that I do miss the taste of.

No. 192021

I’ve been aware my drinking was unhealthy for a few years now, but oddly having people close to me mention it, or letting my self question it, only sent me into these childish ‘shut up i’m a grown woman’ moods that’d make me want to drink more ‘out of spite’? I don’t know. It feels ridiculous. I got diagnosed with bipolar last year, which i then did a lot of reading about, and while drinking like i did is obviously not great for anyone, i finally started being able to see that i was ‘self medicating’ and the k word stats for bipolar people who do were pretty fucking abysmal lmao. Anyway i’m one week sober today, and it’s been strange. I feel as tho i somehow decided, and that was that? I’m drinking canned sparkling water (lol) to fool my lizard brain, and i’ll dream that i’m drinking, but other than that i actually feel really good. Sleeping better already, and my skin is looking better. Bloat is getting better. Like anon upthread mentioned, the thought of all the calories i’m no longer drinking is really motivational as well. Idk nonnies, i have a good feeling about sobriety.

Thanks for this thread btw. I wish everyone the best of luck.

No. 192056

>I’m drinking canned sparkling water (lol) to fool my lizard brain
My friend successfully quit alcohol by switching to non-alcoholic beers. She said they even gave her a placebo of being buzzed.

No. 192063

Nta but I think that might work for me (to an extent) I had a sparkling fruit drink recently that reminded me of my favorite cider and it felt as warm as alcohol does going down.

No. 192145

4 days away from 6 months sobriety and I really wanna throw it all away. Why stay sober if my health is still shit? Genuine question, because I cannot see why I'm fucking doing this right now. At least drinking and taking drugs got me through the day. Right now I'm hiding by my apartments pool to avoid telling my fiancée the bad news I got today. I'm pathetic.

No. 192151


I hate to use this metaphor anon, but drinking is very much the same as hiding by the pool to avoid facing something.

Most people drink to cover up their problems. Ironically it tends to make your problems much more obvious to everyone else and brings bad energy.

Unless your health problems include dying in the near term, you probably have much more life to live. You'll have to face things sooner or later. Better to do it on your terms than losing control with drugs and alcohol.

No. 192364

Ended up having a beer on two occasions but the setting was very social and I don't find myself wanting to drink like I do when I'm alone so I'm not going to beat myself up too much. I've probably saved $60 in the past bit holy shit.

No. 193551

prob not a placebo they are slightly alcoholic

No. 193559

>Talk about your relationship with alcohol, negative or positive
I've had a pretty rough time with alcohol - especially because I've been medicated too. I stopped drinking entirely for about two years, now I've just started attempting to drink again, but honestly I much preferred being sober & so have gone back to that on the DL.
>Are you an alcoholic, how much do you drink and how often
probably yes. I got told by a doctor a few years ago that if I continue to drink to the extent I was, with the alcohol I was (vodka), then I was likely to end up contributing to the statistic of young women dying from alcohol poisoning. that wised me up pretty quickly and I stopped drinking entirely from that day onward. they probably said it for dramatic effect, but it worked.
>Healthy coping mechanisms
my first coping mechanism was to work, but I quickly became overworked. instead I began writing, reading a lot more, cooking and focusing on what my body wanted. I stopped being vegetarian/vegan and began to eat a lot of protein.
>Brag about sober streaks and encourage other anons
it's very gratifying being the sober one in a group; while I used to be the one everyone had to look out for and worry about, now I can be wary of when people are drinking too much and be the lookout instead. like I said before, I recently attempted drinking again because I just graduated with my masters, but now that that's done I'll go back to sober life. sobriety isn't one-and-done, and there's plenty of times I imagine I'll dip my toes back into drinking, but all it does is confirm for me that I prefer being sober. after yrs of not being in control, I much prefer holding all the cards.
>Tapering, rehab etc discussion
I just stopped. I know this isn't for everyone, but it's true. I did the same thing with smoking and when I was vegan/veggie, it's the way I did it then too. I'm lucky that I come from a family of addicts who are also very capable of cold turkey-ing. it's not for everyone and it can be potentially harmful to those with a high dependency.

No. 193572

I think I have the beginning of a drinking problem. I'd rather not but I can go without for a few days and not have the need to drink, but when I do drink its a lot (for me). I hardly ever stop at a glass of wine or two and I often polish a bottle in a day or have 3-4 brandy/gin mixes. It started when I was unemployed and bored for a few months but its carried on to now when I'm doing my Masters. It doesn't hinder my performance, but I sometimes find I genuinely work better with a glass of wine in hand on my uni work/cooking/chores and I think that's a bad thing. I don't ever get smashed as I'll pour my first glass around 5-6 and carry on drinking till 10, so I drink pretty slowly. If I don't drink I'll usually smoke weed, sometimes I mix them. It's bothering me as my dad has a drinking problem on kind of the same level where he drinks himself to sleep every night. Not excessive consumption, but he needs his fix every night. While I think I'm fine for now I feel like it might transition to something more serious because of my family history. At the same time I don't feel any motivation to do something about it. Been exercising a lot more recently and that pretty much stops any of my cravings so perhaps I'll see if I can substitute a healthy hobby for it.

No. 193850

That’s exactly how it was for me too, anon. Even the dad part. It did escalate now and then, and i’d binge drink for a week straight, but usually i kept it to about 4 drinks, or 6 lighter % beers. Whenever i was sick of drinking i’d swap to weed. If you feel ready, sobriety feels pretty fucking good -and the things that feel easier with that slight buzz will feel equally easy sober, after a little while. Ngl it does suck some days, but so far feeling in control is worth it.

No. 193982

>Talk about your relationship with alcohol, negative or positive

my paternal grandfather was an abusive alcoholic, my dad appears to be one, and both of my siblings also struggle with drinking. i don't like moderating my intake, when i drink i like to get fucked up

>Are you an alcoholic, how much do you drink and how often

yea probably. i don't drink

>Healthy coping mechanisms

i honestly have little to none cuz i also have a chronic illness that hinders me from doing things like going outside during the day or making art. i try to go on walks at night.

>Brag about sober streaks and encourage other anons

i've been sober from alcohol since
oct 13 2018. i got sober when I was 18 shortly after starting college, but drank again after a year, and had some more periods of sobriety/quitting before now (age 25). i love being sober. even though my life is shit things would be infinitely worse and unmanageable if i was using. it's the one healthy thing i've got

>Tapering, rehab etc discussion

i just cold turkey. been through the off and on again enough times that i have accepted that i am not cut out for substances. my illness has neurological effects and i become even more retarded when i am using drugs/alcohol. my main vice used to be weed but alcohol probably got me into more trouble. i was sent to rehab when i was 15 and did a year and a half sober there, and while that experience was fucked up in its own right i think the practice i had with sobriety and the principles i learned there set me up for this.

No. 194010

been on a week long binge and went thru like 3 bottles of jack daniels…. yay me. i dont know why i keep doing this shit to myself when i was on an almost 2 month sober streak, dieting exercising and meditation. its like once everything gets a little bit better, i forget how shitty drinking made me feel to begin with. i hate this cycle

No. 194027

Nta but I wish I could go back to those numbers. RIP my liver and heart.

No. 194087

I've drank 2 days out of 10 instead of 9 days out of 10. Better than nothing. I'm learning that while I don't feel hungover anymore I definitely prefer waking up completely sober.

No. 194095

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Not an alcoholic, but definitely had/have a drinking problem. Usually what happens is when I start drinking I can't make myself stop. At some point during drinking I get thoroughly suicidal and back when I would cut myself I would do that then preferably. I find it easy-ish to stay away, but every once in a while I say screw it only to have the same predictable outcome. Haven't fully accepted that I might need to live fully without it. Anyhow weed is better.

No. 194105

One of my friend groups won’t listen and pressures me when I say no thanks to alcohol.

Over the weekend I saw them for the first time in months, and it really makes me not want to hang out with them ever again. Because saying no is really hard.

I ended up dumping half a Truly out and watering it down. Plus taking a few sips of their cocktails.

I realized I associate feeling drunk with so much negativity now that I’m not sure I enjoy the sensation.

It sucks but I haven’t had anything to drink since so I’m not sure if it really broke my sobriety.

No. 194130

Nonnie are you me? I managed 60+ sober days this year then fell off hard in April and haven't quite recovered. Except my DOC is IPAs now (12-18) because they're less problematic to binge on and I like to scramble my intestines apparently.

Be careful when coming down… at 3 bottles a week those DTs can kill you.. keep us updated if need be, taper if you can, but ideally get assisted detox. Godspeed….

No. 194423

atyrt and im 3 days sober since i posted this. i find that the withdrawal symptoms arent NEARLY as bad as when i was coming down off of a 2 year drinking daily addiction. just a week of drinking is pretty easy to recover from…? i was able to go cold turkey and get some good sleep just with melatonin.

i agree with you though in that hard liquor is such a terrible idea when binging but i always convince myself its the "best option" since beer and IPAs are so calorically dense and the amount i have to drink to get drunk is insane. speaking of which….does your tolerance ever reset? it seems like no matter how long i go without drinking, i still never reach the point that it was like in the beginning. i just want to go back to drinking a beer or two and feeling a good buzz.

No. 194424

Honestly this is probably the best thing you can do. Even if you have to lie to yourself, associating alcohol with negative feelings is probably the quickest way to get out of the "fun drinking" mentality. And nah…I only consider "breaking sobriety" when you exhibit addict behavior and binge, though I guess others might disagree.

No. 194459

I agree with you. Maybe it's a cope so I can enjoy a beer or two when I'm having dinner with friends and family. It feels so separate from when I binge drink.

No. 194698

All I do is get drunk, smoke weed, and rip out my eyebrows. I hate my life. My shoulder hurts. I fucked up the kitchen floor last night trying to break up hashbrowns with a hammer. I am so hungover I'm doing gin shots just to feel ok. I'm only 26 and I look like shit. My rosacea is really bad and I am too shy to make a doctor's appointment because I am scared they will be able to tell about my drinking

No. 194788

you need to slow down. rosacea and every other health issues will only become worse if you continue to treat yourself like shit. What’s so bad about the doctor knowing you have a drinking problem? Idk where you live but in my experience the people which it’s absolutely worth being honest to are your doctor and attorney. Don’t become one of those people who never get help and choose to stay at rock bottom out of habit. You’re still young enough to not fuck up yourself permanently as bad as it may be atm. being mid 20s can be wild, I think it’s the time where we process (or try to avoid it, numbing ourselves) all the shit we experienced the years before and our personal issues become more clear. you only have one life and it doesn’t have to be like that forever. knowing too many people who chose to stay at the rock bottom kind of helped me to see how I don’t want to become. for example doing lots of sports alone at home helped me to distract from the urge to tranquilize myself all the time, you need to find another way to get some endorphins and every small step is a good one. You can do it even if it’s hard and slow, but things don’t get better by themselves.

No. 196827

I feel like breaking this stupid fucking addiction is literally impossible. Why why why why did I ever start drinking. I'm going to just slowly destroy my health and end up regretting everything by the time I'm 30….

No. 196843

Still drinking, but drinking less. Life seriously feels meaningless if I don't have at least a night a week to get drunk. It depresses me to even think that. My boyfriend shut me down when I made a fuss about him driving to get me some beers because the liquor store was about to close and I was beginning to feel anxious. I nearly had a tantrum (I feel really embarrassed) but I'm glad my boyfriend ignored my request. I went outside and cooled off. I feel like there's a pit in my stomach and I hate the thoughts that flood into my head every night but hey at least I didn't drink, I guess. I don't have any physical withdrawal symptoms to deal with anymore so I'm pleased about that. It was nice to type these crap thoughts out too.

No. 196859

Can any nonnies share their experience with AA? I have p bad social anxiety and whilst I do need help and am a struggling in my addiction, I find it hard to reach out when the unfamiliar is involved, especially when it's new people. I'm looking at zoom meetings and I'm pretty unfamiliar with both zoom and AA.

No. 196904

So glad we have this thread. I started struggling with alcohol abuse when I worked at a certain place where all the employees would go out after work and drink. Every single shift. And on days off. I had fun going out and it helped me decompress bc I was working full time and going to school full time. I would have a drink every night just to fall asleep.

I was able to get out of the cycle when I got pregnant with my husband, and stay completely sober for the 9 months i was pregnant and the months that followed that I tried to breastfeed.
Eventually, I started easing back into drinking to cope with the stress of raising a baby.

Quarantine made it even worse, and I started being unable to go a week without drinking. I had been having 4-5 shots a couple times a week consistently. I knew it became a problem when it started being the only thing that made me feel good and happy.

I told my husband I wanted to quit, he doesn't drink but he also didn't see a problem with my drinking, bc I knew telling someone would hold me more accountable. For the first week all I wanted was a drink. I couldn't think about anything else.
I'm now two weeks in, feeling incredible, and anytime I do think about alcohol, the impulses and urges aren't there anymore. I hope this stays because I feel so free.

No. 196908

Samefagging but I also just want to mention that for those who start their posts with "I'm not an alcoholic" but then follow up with their issues with alcohol, you are/were an alcoholic, I'm sorry. I know the label is uncomfortable to identify with, but the sooner you do, the better. It can be a good kick in the pants.

No. 198635

So I'm this anon and thanks to my dumbass country banning alcohol again as we move up to a stricter lockdown level I haven't had a drink in a month. Its possible to get alcohol from bootleggers at an absurdly marked up price or go to a bar where they're sneakily selling booze, but I just haven't been arsed to do it this lockdown like I did for others. I'm not really missing it at all, I smoke weed now and again instead and I feel I've lost a bit of weight/am bloated less. Hopefully when the ban is lifted I can stay away from binge drinking daily and enjoy moderate consumption. The lost weight is the main factor that'll keep me away tbh.

No. 198641

Dunno if you're still around anon but even if this post reaches other people that'll be good. AA is awesome in that for once in my life I didn't feel like I was necessarily an 'alcoholic' but a person with problems who couldn't solve them. Also, they give you the option to talk or not to talk, and there was always this one guy who came in to just listen in peace and never spoke up. I too have anxiety about new people but these type of people will give you the least social anxiety ever. The reason a lot of us drink is because of that anxiety too, so meeting all these people at various ages, stages of their life, careers etc is super refreshing and comfortable. The teachers or guides or whatever you call them are usually ex drinkers too, and everyone there just makes you feel safe. AA was the only time in my life that I truly felt comfortable, and I never thought I could feel that way, even with my own family or bf. I highly recommend it, the in person ones too if you can muster up the courage. Its worth it.

No. 199004

Made it 3 weeks, my longest since I started drinking. Fucked up last night and drank so much. I have my first hangover in probably 4 years to pay for it.

No. 199112

Don't beat yourself up too much, relapses are normal. Just pick yourself up and start over you got this!

No. 199206

Glad you posted this. I have had similar feelings about alcohol. I'm going to try to stop again and I hope it keeps going well for you too, I'm impressed with you

No. 199246

I feel like I'm in the weird middle ground right now where I haven't 100% or even 70% overcome my addiction but I'm too sober to enjoy alcohol like I used to. I used to be able to down whiskey like nobody's business, like 12 shots and have a black out good time but now I drink 2 glasses of wine and feel disgusting and wake up with a hangover. Part of it is probably age as well but my tolerance is so low now that drinking in excess isn't even fun. So why why why does my brain still equate alcohol with good times as though this Friday night binge will randomly make a difference. It's like I have nostalgia for the good ole days of addiction when I really shouldn't. God alcoholism is fucked.

No. 199267

Thank you I hope it goes well for you too!! I had such a hard time stopping. I'm about 5 weeks in, I did have a night in between where I got tipsy and had about 3 drinks, but I easily moved on from it and haven't had any more urges. I'm so happy to not be thinking about alcohol constantly anymore.

No. 199268

Has anyone tried to replace alcohol with weed? I've gotten high twice since I've been sober and idk it just feels wrong to me.. like I feel like I'm relapsing even though weed isn't bad for you like alcohol.

No. 199324

I tried but I didn't really enjoy the feeling of being high so it didn't work for me. I don't think you should feel guilty about it but be aware that your inhibitions are lowered- don't end up letting your high self convince you to drink and end up drunk + high.

No. 199372

Not sure if this is the right thread for my question, but has anyone else experienced alcohol losing its effect? (How) has your reaction to alcohol changed over time?

I used to drink excessively in my late teens and early 20s, but now it either doesn't do anything for me or I go from sober to drowsy, sick and/or melancholic with nothing in between. The euphoria and carelessness that used to come with drinking when I was 18 seems to be gone forever. Maybe I should call myself lucky because drinking lost its appeal ever since. However,the urge to numb my social anxiety is still there which made me turn to harder drugs. During the years between drinking losing its effect and me gaining access to other drugs my social life was pretty much dead which doesn't seem healthy either. I feel like there's no way to fix this. It's either health + loneliness or addiction + at least the semblance of a social life.

No. 199401

jesus fuck, anon. i had pancreatitis and was hospitalized for it recently, but i was drinking hard liquor on a daily basis for something like 4+ years, I didn't know it could come on so early & from low-alcoholic-content beverages like beer. I took about 3 weeks off and went back to drinking, i'm not gonna lie. there are a lot of reasons, but the 'social anxiety' bit you mentioned is definitely one aspect of it. IDK how bad your pancreatitis was, I was in the hospital for around 6 days, but I was kind of appalled when I started doing my own research on living with the illness and realized my doctors totally did not give me the full scope of information on how to manage the condition. How much did your diet have to change afterwards and what are your danger foods? I realize they're different for everyone but I honestly don't even know how fast your body is supposed to RESPOND to a pancreatitis flare-up so I have zero clue how to eliminate potential suspects from my 'diet no-gos' list.

No. 199941

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I don't know where to post this but I feel like I am losing it.

tl;dr I have severe, untreated ADHD and social anxiety and have been using alcohol to self-medicate for ages. In my line of work, drinking is expected and encouraged, and I always looked at other human wreckage in my vicinity and lied to myself about how "good" I am at handling my liquor.

Since the pandemic and the lockdown I started drinking more and more - blackouts and vomiting are happening every other day, or 3x a week at least.

Every time I decide to cut down, I make myself a promise to buckle up and I go on a ADHD hyper-focused spree of getting my shit together. And then I get overwhelmed and forget to eat, and I reach for a beer to make the hunger pangs go away. In a few hours I am fucked up and drinking whiskey out of the bottle. Rinse, repeat.

The one thing that worked in the beginning was being involved in animal rescue and charity work, because knowing that there are poor defenceless creatures depending on me to keep them alive, made me stop getting shitfaced and take responsibility. Even if I would get drunk, I do that after all the animals are taken care of.

But the rescue work started also taking a toll on me. It is apparently pretty common, I talked to other people at the organisation - only they do not medicate with booze. I think?

Seeing all the animal abuse, neglectful owners, watching animals die despite you doing everything to help them - it fucks you up.

That is what triggered my bender that started a few days ago and that is why I am writing this before going out to get more alcohol.

I saw a cat get hit by a car and killed instantly. I immediately walked to the nearest bar and started getting hammered, and when I ran out of money, I wandered home bawling my eyes out and apologising to the unknown cat for not being able to save it. There is a constant cheesy montage of all animals I was not able to keep alive running in my head like a repetitive film, and I am crying and wailing my lungs out, trying to rack my brain and see where I did wrong and what was I able to do to save them.

It did not go away so I drank myself to sleep and passed out on the couch with my clothes on. And even now, 72 hours later, it does not make it any easier.

Why does the world suck so bad?

No. 201066

I really felt for you reading this, anon. There would be no shame in taking a step back from the charity work for now if it's becoming detrimental to you. It sounds very distressing and you can come back to it later if you feel up to it. Have you taken steps to get treatment for your ADHD? I recently began treating mine and it's been unexpectedly amazing for my alcoholism, I've been sober ~4 months. Take care of yourself, you sound like a really good person.

No. 204026

I want to treat my body and my heart better. Be mindful and take each day one step at a time. Hydrate a lot(god knows alcoholics need it) and get good sleep. Cheers to one week, again.

No. 204029

What does pancreatitis feel like? I don't drink anymore but my left side to back hurts randomly. My stomach is always throbbing as well.

No. 204045

See I wish this happened to me but I actually gained a lot of weight when I stopped drinking, wtf? I think it messed up my metabolism

I had acute pancreatitis and I was in the hospital in March 2020. This is not something that i share or talk about ever but i feel like i want to get it out somewhere. Pls don’t judge me anons. I was binge drinking for years, going on benders, blacking out etc. For like 2 years I was drinking pretty consistently every day a pint. Then I slowed down to like a few times a week for a long time. Then last year it got really bad and for like 2 or 3 months I was drinking really heavily every day all day whatever I could, wine seltzer vodka whatever. I was like constantly sick. On “light” days I would drink a bottle of wine and some seltzer’s. But it was usually 2 sleeves of nips or a pint and something else. Then I would get a handle and go through that in 2 days ish. Idk, I didn’t really keep track of what I drank but it all happened really fast. It got REALLY bad when I tried to stop, like hallucinations and everything I was really out of it. I ended up going to the hospital and my blood pressure was dangerously high. I ended up passing out I guess, I don’t remember but when I woke up I was in the ICU. I was in the hospital for a week. They basically told me I had acute pancreatitis and gave me papers for a low fat diet and said if I don’t stop drinking i will die. Anyways, I looked through all the paperwork like a month after I got out and it said I was resuscitated, I was literally in shock when I read that like, what the fuck??? I was not aware of any of this, my mom actually called the hospital when I was there and she said I was suddenly in the ICU. I don’t know why it was so severe bc usually you hear of this stuff when people drink really heavily for years but i guess my body just gave out.

I haven’t drank at all since so it’s been a year and almost 6 months. I’m boring, I’m fat, but it feels good to wake up without feeling guilt and shame and I’m ALIVE.

I guess I just want to say alcohol withdrawal is really serious and please get help medically if you are going through it.

No. 204066

Im a broke neet and me drinking depends on having money and having someone to get me alcohol.
So because I'm not in control of my drinking, I've been drinking maybe twice every 7 days? If that, before I could finish picrel in 3 days just by myself.
I couldn't go a day without a drink, then if I did then I'd be depressed. Now I go 7+ days and it's not as much of a mental thing anymore. I feel like some of my bloat has went down, I want to quit, but I get so depressed, I drink and don't do anything else and I feel like thats made me pack on more pounds then ever.
But i'm taking my life back, the moment I started heavily drinking, I started getting bigger and having all these weird health issues.

No. 204067

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I forgot the picture

No. 205064

Have any anons been able to drink (moderately) after recovering from acute pancreatitis? I had a mild case and just want to hear some stories rather than googling things to scare me. I’m not saying I need to drink but I’m getting mixed results on saying ppl can drink at gatherings or that a drink will kill you

No. 206847

Why does everyone always act like being sober is some glamorous uwu recovery thing when being sober fucking SUCKS? In the past at least I could look forward to getting off work and drinking some whiskey on the rocks and relaxing and forgetting my stress but now all I do is cry myself to sleep instead and contemplate roping myself. Everyone always talks about celebrating sobriety but I just feel like shit. But I literally can't drink because of health issues. Fuck this

No. 206850

I feel the same way. At least drinking offers an escape. When you go sober you're just left with all your issues that lead you to start drinking in the first place, but now you know that there's a way to get a break from them. But you can't take that break anymore now.

No. 206910

I think it’s contextual. Like if you get sober as part of the process of organizing your life as a whole it’s great, but if you’re just going cold turkey without having addressed anything else then yeah it’s not going to be some magic pill that turns your whole life around.

No. 207137

My alcohol problems stem from an abusive family home growing up. As an adult I can emotionally process to good effect ill treatment from people metaphorically off the street but to this day I'm unable to be around abusive relatives or be in toxic intimate relationships and still function (which fans the flame, as those types of people will become more damaging in the face of vulnerability).
Depression, I feel, and the resulting self medication, is most often a logical and normal symptom of being in a bad environment.

No. 211359

I recently decided to try to drink in a healthier way and I'm really happy about it. I have had an unhealthy relationship with alcohol since covid started, drinking more nights than not. My mom was an addict with opiates and alcohol. I used to hate drinking and didn't have a problem until lockdowns/covid because the reality of everything with it made me stress. It got to about a bottle of white wine 5-7 days a week and I just made 10 days with only two of them drinking "normally" (2 drink limit). I feel a lot better (health wise) and lost some weight too. I do miss drinking and get strong evening cravings. I want to try going 100% dry soon too. I just drink diet coke instead since it's a vice of mine that I don't feel bad about when I get cravings and remind myself I'm incapable of doing my hobbies when drinking. I'm worried about a party this weekend, i'm bad with people but it's my bf's work party and there's generally a lot of alcohol there. I don't want to drink and am going to stick to diet soda/water/juice hopefully. good luck with sobriety nonas.

No. 212294

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I don't plan on it ever getting better or easier. It might, and I hope it does, but I know with sobriety I at least have a chance at stable health/happiness that drinking could never provide.

No. 249925

I keep relapsing. I'll have a good month or two and then my bf and I will start going out to restaurants and I just start drinking again and buying bottles of wine to drink at home. Bless his heart for sticking by my fucked up ass but I can tell I'm really exhausting him. I even convinced him to get weed (illegal in our country) and its still not good enough for me I keep relapsing into alcohol and smoking. Meditation and shit just isn't helping, this sickness is too easy to get at any point.

No. 250226

>>249925 Nona this probably isn't very helpful advice but in my experience if you're an addict but generally coping well then you won't be able to quit because nothing is forcing you. Everyone I know who has gotten sober (myself included) has had something really dramatic happen, or just slowly slipped down to rock bottom. Everyone's threshold for that is different (which I guess is why some people never quit even when their lives are fucked). Maybe it would help you to think about what you stand to lose (e.g. relationship, job, dignity etc). It was dignity that did it for me kek.

No. 250592

spoilering this since it is romanticizing addition so not to encourage anyone

does anyone else feel like there just is too much "romance" in with being an alcoholic. not so much with drugs, i use those too but with alcoholism there is just this tragic romance with it that you can imagine yourself being some character of a story when you drink, there is a even word in my language what i mean like "decay romance"

it is childish as hell yeah but honestly this makes it difficult for me to stop because i just can imagine myself to be the world weary heroine of life instead of a pathetic mess because it is the "decay romance"

No. 251351

Sober for 3 months now. It looks like I am going to lose my license for drunk driving for a whole YEAR
Pretty ashamed rn

No. 251359

That makes total sense to me. Every night I drink by myself I feel like I'm playing a different, romantic character trope, like a good time gal, or a detective. Really it's just me and my laptop and my beers. But after a few months where I never got fucked up alone, I missed it and I lost my tolerance and so when I drank with my friends I'd get sad drunk. It's like this is a ritual I do to keep myself level.

No. 254584

I could use an advice or two (sry for the long post)

So, I've been always drinking, started 20 years ago, would drink every weekend until I blacked out, later ever second or third day, then again changing to an episode where I would only drink on weekends. 4 years ago it changed completely, I had only 3 blackouts in that time, but from 365 days a year I would drink at least 300 days and not small amounts, more like 6 large beers or half a bottle of vodka. In that time I made my degree, attend school, etc., I've never been late, never missed even if I was hungover, just a normal functioning alcoholic. Right now I'm back at school for another degree and I notice that it's hard to remember stuff, might be my general mood, might be other things that are on my mind, might be the drinking. That's why I decided that it's time to stop, at least until I'm done with school. Haven't had a drink since Sunday (longest time without alcohol this year) and I just don't know. I feel so fucking depressed, I'm tired, I want to cry, I don't want to leave the house, I'm just sad and feel like I'm stuck under a blinding light and I can't get out. Besides that, I just can't fall asleep, I will go to bed, extremely tired and I will lie awake for hours or sleep some minutes and wake up again.
My question is, has anyone experienced the same? Is that a normal thing when your brain suddenly doesn't get alcohol anymore? And if someone knows anything about it, is there something I could do to feel better or do I have to wait until it's over? I really can't use being more depressed and sleeping even less than before, but I also don't want to continue drinking.

No. 254660

that depression is the reason I relapse so much
your body and brain just get so used to it that with it being gone the cravings just get really bad for ages but its also because you cant really handle sobriety and reality either you only see it through the lens of drinking. I have nothing to recommend anon because im going through a similar situation myself. Try herbal supplements that improve stress those seem to do a little bit of something for me.

No. 254683

Yeah this happens when you stop. Alcohol suppresses your nervous system and increases dopamine and serotonin in your brain. When you use it long term and frequently, your body adapts to the neurochemical changes. When you stop, your brain and nervous system remain at this baseline state for a while. Stopping abruptly isn’t usually recommended for heavy alcoholics for this reasons, since you can potentially experience seizures. if you’ve ever met other alcoholics who are trying to quit or have been sober for a little while, you’ve probably noticed they have shaky hands and poor sleep too due to this hyperexcitation.
Honestly this was why it was hard for me to quit at first, because the immediate withdrawal was so emotionally and mentally shitty I would go right back to it. I wasn’t a drinker as long as you were, but I was drinking every day after work and then getting blackout drunk on the weekends for a few years.
Anon I don’t want to scare you, but if you have a doctor it’d be a good idea to consult them. “Tapering” is sometimes recommended, but i know that can be really hard if you’re a typical binge drinker.
The good news is that you’re on the right path. It sucks and it’s hard and you may relapse (multiple times, even), but the depression, anxiety and brain fog will start to fade the further you get from the active addiction. Idk about “permanent” damage, but every day you don’t drink is a day your body can try to heal.
Good luck nonnie!

No. 254685

nonnie! drink Vodka

No. 256028

Relapsed 2 weeks ago, I'm at 5 glasses a day for 45kgs (I don't drive, don't worry) I don't want to eat when I'm drunk because it kills the "high". My life is falling into pieces, I'm only happy when drunk because it makes me forget
Anyway, currently drinking a nice white, cheers nonnas

No. 256838

I’m coming to terms with the fact I have a binge drinking problem. I almost always drink alone and the only way it doesn’t end up in a black out is if I run out of booze. After blacking out the other night I’ve decided to go completely sober for a while, at least a couple months. Honestly the more I reflect on it the more I think maybe it should be a life long decision….we’ll have to see how it goes

No. 256916

I started heavy drinking the moment I got a promotion at my job, 2 bottles of vodka or tequila per week. My job is one of those jobs you just keep thinking about all day/all week, but when I drink I forget about everything so it makes my life easier, plus I suffer from chronic depression and what I assume it's some sort of ADHD so whenever I'm drunk I actually enjoy life.

It's kind of funny how when I'm drunk I feel like I actually experience living instead of just going through the motions of being alive, if that makes sense. I was just recently told I might be an alcoholic, I denied it at first but I'm starting to think it's true. Don't really know how to stop it or if I really want to, fucking alcohol it's cheaper than meds.

No. 256944

Sage because I don't know if I'd count myself an alcoholic but I can't do a fucking thing or find motivation for anything when I'm not drunk or fucked up on benzo's or painkillers. Can't get out of my fucking bed. I hate this, the only thing I look forward to anymore is getting fucked up and friday nights (getting fucked up with friends instead of alone in my room).

No. 295254

Literally experiencing the exact same thing as you. Instead of a promotion though I found a new job which is literally in the middle of the city. After a year or so of just freelancing i'm actually full time. I stopped drinking during that freelancing era and just drank on weekends with my bf but now I've started drinking daily and on weekends. I drink every day after work and I day drink on weekends. Beer or wine predominantly. And if I work from home on certain days I begin day drinking too.
>It's kind of funny how when I'm drunk I feel like I actually experience living instead of just going through the motions of being alive
I feel this comment on another level. I legit tried seeing a psychologist for weeks recently but getting back on drinking instantly felt better, of course the hangovers suck but during, it just feels like I can actually be creative and interested in what I'm doing.
I believe i've also had anxiety since childhood or definitely some kind of adhd but drinking feels like the only drug that calms me down. I know it's taking a small toll on my relationship though and most definitely I'll see my health decline in the future but for now it's hard to get out of the cycle especially when I'm not pleased with my thoughts and routine when I'm sober.

No. 296523

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Not sure if this belongs, but, ok…so in the past years I've taken up drinking. I have no idea how much I went through. Maybe 1 or 2 bottles of vodka a week at my worst? With some lapses.
I started at night panicking about the damage I must be doing to my body…like, holy shit, I already have chronic health conditions! And during the day I'd always be disassociated and go, "nah, this is fine" and…feel nothing about overdrinking? Quite odd. After a while though I started easing out. Getting a weird can of something new once in a while. Not keeping alcohol in the house. Having a beer here and there. And for the past half month now I've been sober and seem to have replaced this with insane amounts of coffee drinking. I don't know how to feel. Should I feel accomplished? IDK.

No. 296528

I relate to this, I actually was able to stop a lot of my subtance abuse cold turkey as soon as I got medicated for ADHD.

I definitely had underlying risk factors like PTSD and its other comorbid mental illnesses that made me more susceptible to substance abuse, but getting on ADHD medication actually did wonders. I think it's a combination of scratching some kind of understimulated itch in my brain (my job is high pressure so it's not like I'm not busy, it's just… different) that can only be ameliorated by meds or other drugs/alcohol + the meds helping mitigate impulse control issues + stress factors being reduced by getting my ADHD addressed.

Might be worth looking into getting it treated.

No. 305007

I’m on day two of a hangover, 30s hit different. My friend put on Detective Koo last night and I legit felt triggered by her alcoholism.

No. 305031

I started drinking during quarantine. I used to drink half a bottle of vodka a day. After quarantine I stopped drinking alone but now that I started a new prestigious job I fell back into it. I just have 3 drinks a night when I'm alone, but it worries me. Especially since alcohol also means a bit of coke for me.

I'm too ashamed to talk about it. I feel like I have no reason to be so unhappy. I have a good job, a loving family, an awesome partner. So why am I depressed, why do I need to do drugs?

No. 305269

My roommates and I were talking about how often we drink and whatever and one of them asked "How many times have you gotten drunk alone? The others answered "maybe once or twice" but I actually felt almost ashamed at the fact that I have more times than I can count. I've always known I drank lot but I never figured it was that bad of a problem, and it's ususlly a cope, not a reason why things go downhill. I quit smoking and I don't really cut myself anymore but I just can't stop drinking in general.

How about you anons, how many times have you gotten drunk by yourself?

No. 305344

I can’t count that high nonnie

No. 305345

It's my preferred way to drink if I'm being honest so way way too many times

No. 306021

Same here…

No. 307057

Well nonnas, have started the year off strong already. Quit drinking for a couple of months in 2022, got back into drinking at dinner parties or just an evening out with friends, very casual, few drinks at most. Now I'm back to drinking red wine daily, almost 2L a day sometimes.
Wish me luck.

No. 307224

I started drinking right around 20, to cope with stress. Anytime I drank I felt better and had less "aches and pains" which I mentioned to doctors several times. They all just labeled it as part of my depression, anxiety and PTSD blah blah. Well… the drinking got worse and worse. A few very embarrassing incidents, painful ones for me and my loved ones. Finally cut back but drank in secret to cope with daily pain and fatigue. One morning I woke up with searing pain in my heels, blurred vision and extreme joint stiffness. Far more than I had ever experienced. After months of testing it turns out I have rheumatoid arthritis and another AI disease. All that pain I was drinking away came from a legitimate condition, which worsened due to the alcohol consumption. Nonnas, if you're drinking to cope for whatever reason please go see a Healthcare professional. Don't fuck yourself up like I did. Fortunately I'll be alright, but I lost years and made terrible mistakes. Always seek help and don't give up.

No. 307427

I've been reading this thread and it's crazy how a lot of people picked up the worst of there habits from quarantine. I did as well so I feel a little comfort in knowing it's not just me. I didn't really drink like that until I was 22 after overdosing on molly and had to pick up a new vice. At first it was normal amounts and only when going out or at house parties but slowly turned into binge drinking during those events. During quarantine I'd be able to kill a 12 pack and some more by myself and that's also when drinking by myself became normalized to me. When things started opening up again, I got broken up with (mainly bc of my binge drinking) and immediately started seeing an old fwb who would eventually become my partner at the time. We only had weekends together and he'd always wanna go to the bar which was cool but it was very much enabling looking back bc I definitely warned him about how I drink. That relationship, like the previous ended as well bc he couldn't handle my binge drinking despite my warnings. That relationship was only 6 months long but that break up wrecked my world to this day for various reasons and was the cause of so many fucked up things I've said or done while drunk in the months after. I'm currently 25 and trying to do a dry January but I fucked up twice already. I keep trying to remind myself how I feel after a night of binge drinking and how depressed I get in the days after. I drank on Friday, missed work Saturday and I've barely gotten out of bed and haven't ate since.

No. 307434

Samefagging but I also wanted to mention that besides the depression I deal with from binge drinking on top of regular depression, I've also started blacking out way too easily and going into psychosis. I'm positive I deal with psychosis while sober but some of the day after stories I've been hearing about myself have been worrying. For comic relief… recently I met up with a guy from tinder at his place and after knocking back all the beer he bought for me I demanded food which was a pound of pastrami he made, got it all over, played the same song 3 times in a row and went into psychosis and told him I have to go outside because "the people outside were being too loud". It's not really funny when I take a step back and look at it but idk how else to deal with these stupid things I do while drinking. I just blamed it on being quirky and blocked him lmao

No. 311400

Also same. I just hit one year sober though, nonas! I hope it’s ok to bump with that. If you have any questions or want to get sober I’d like to be available to answer and help if I can. ♥

No. 311407

I've been sober for a week and I absolutely hate it. When is the point where it starts getting better? The only reason I wanted to quit drinking was because I couldn't handle the effect on my mood, but my mood is worse than ever.

No. 313727

Sacrificing alcohol for lent. Not sure if any nonnas are religious or not, not judging otherwise, just sharing my piece.
I've always struggled deeply with drugs. Will try to give up alcohol for the 40 days of lent. Enjoying my last 2 beers before it begins. Bless all nonnas. Justice will be served.

No. 313736

same nonita. It's gonna be 40 days of well needed break for my liver. I'm allowing myself to have a non alcoholic beer for social occasions by BYOB since that's what I've done to stave off alcohol out of my life (and still failing sometimes) but still hang out with friends. Praying for both of us + other nonnas going through the same during lent

No. 313755

Been sober for about 2 months and I feel good mentally, with waay less anxiety and depressive episodes. I've developed this insane craving for sweet food though and am worried I'll get fat soon kek. Trying not to eat more than one sweet snack a day, but then again I remember I was drinking waay more calories most days than a slice of cake. Anyway, here's a podcast on all of the shitty effects of alcohol if any nonnies are needing some motivation. Its so much worse than I thought, especially the cancer statistics.

No. 314008

I just tried to use an anonymous chatbox for alcoholism support and had a scrote in his 50s ask me about my masturbation habits and then start talking about his daughter who's the same age as me. Why are moids so fucking disgusting. I just wanted some advice and to be able to talk openly about my situation god damn it.

No. 315550

I've posted on here 2 months ago and I'm happy to update that I'm currently celebrating 1 month sober! I hit rock bottom after going on a 3 day alcohol and coke binge. The day after I went out to eat with friends and could barely hold my spoon to my mouth without shaking and spilling miso soup all over. It's crazy to think that was a month ago. Currently I feel so much better, making better decisions, my depression is gone and I'm starting to lose the weight I put on from drinking. I'm excited to continue this streak and see how much of a difference I notice in the months to come. I hope this can be inspo for anyone else in this thread and would like to offer help if possible!

No. 321027

Unfortunately you have to do some work. If you’re truly an alcoholic, stopping drinking is just being “dry.” If you want to be ~sober~ you have to seek God. I know it sounds crazy kek but it’s all that worked for me. Try an AA meeting. If that’s too crazy for you…and you’re not an alcoholic and you don’t care if you drink again, idk. You could try a hobby or make friends in a knitting group or something. Removing alcohol didn’t fix my mood, I had to do self-work and therapy to understand why I drank how I did and how I also self-soothed in other destructive ways.

No. 335323

It took me a long time to get sober and it's been the hardest thing I've ever done. I came back to your reply many times and it helped me so thank you. I thought about your reply again today and my post here and how sad I was back then. Alcoholism really is a disease

No. 336467

What are resources you all use, like apps, online communities, books, activities, just all the stuff that helps you to stay sober and is easily accessible?
Therapy isn't an option at the moment as I would have to wait at least 6 months to get an appointment and I can't afford private healthcare. And no religion, please, I've never in my life believed in a higher power, I know it works for people and that's amazing for them, it just won't work for me. Thanks in advance for every answer ♥

No. 336489

Honestly anything related to sobriety doesn't work for me because it ends up just making me think about alcohol more. What really works for me is stuff completely outside of that realm, new hobbies. Do something new and focus on it so hard it becomes your new addiction… Something nice like learning a new language, knitting or sewing, learning to draw etc.

No. 336856

Guess I will try that and work on my huge fear of failure and not being good enough, kek. Always wanted to start drawing again and learn a Scandinavian language, so time to start obsessing over something else than destroying my health.

No. 336869

Its always around my period that I fall back into binge eating and drinking. I'll have a somewhat good few weeks of eating and exercising and then one week in the month will just be horrible and ill drink all week and eat like shit all day.
Relapsing is somehow worse than being in active addiction because it feels like you are constantly rewinding. I don't want to go to AA again and I eventually want to come to a point where I can have 1 drink at work or 1 drink with my boss (who is my friend) and not go insane about it. Being the 'person who orders coke' is not what I'm going for. Still though, its really hard a lot of the time. Most days I don't even think about alcohol or shitty food or smoking but like I said, that one week every month just hurls me right back to my dark self. Its an awful yo yo lifestyle.

No. 337033

I wish I could be like that too but I just don't know if it'll ever be possible for me. I drink one and I can justify the rest to myself. That other people can nurse just 1 or 2 drinks over an evening mystify me.

No. 346818

File: 1693337300093.png (138.51 KB, 440x490, Captured.PNG)

I posted in /ot/ but how do you know you are a alcholic? I just got told I drink a dangerous amount and i know that, and I look terrible. I'm fat, my skin is bad, and I'm more mentally ill then ever, but I was those things before drinking.
I always hear alcholics shake and sweat without. I just think about it. this is how much I can drink, in 3 or 4 days by myself.If I am a alcholic what type am I? I drink until I can't anymore, but it's over hours, Like I only night drink. So I'll start drinking at like 6pm, then I'll stop like a 11pm. I mix my drinks. I usually drink the biggest bottle. The 4th day isn't promised so I finish 1.75 bottle in 3 or 4 days alone.
The lonest I went without drinking since I started, I can't remember is like 6 years or so? Is like 2 weeks?

No. 346989

you're an alcoholic, at least medically speaking. drinking every day is horrible for you and you're probably doing lasting damage. you might be a functional alcoholic if you've been doing it for so long without losing your job or family or whatever, but still an alcoholic for sure. you should talk to some irl about this nona, i'm sending my best wishes.

No. 347008

I feel like writing about my success with being sober so far, because I feel weird talking about it to my friends or family. I’m 8 and a half months sober from alcohol right now. Used to be a chronic weekend binge drinker but was gradually beginning to add more days, and I got to a point where I couldn’t take feeling like shit all the time anymore. Had tried a bunch of times before this one to stop, but nothing really stuck and the longest I made it was 18 days. For some reason, this time has been easier. I usually have no desire to drink anymore, although I haven’t made a rule that it’s forbidden forever, but I’d like to get to a year at least and hopefully keep going from there. There are the rare occasions I really wish I had something, usually when I’m feeling happy because being in a good mood was actually more of a trigger for me to drink than feeling sad. I try to buy myself other treats when that comes up, like a fun coffee thing or a dessert or whatever. Seems to help a little bit. All that being said, I still do get high maybe once or twice a month, but I don’t feel like that’s problematic for now and sometimes it helps too if I get a craving. Idk why I posted all this, but thanks for reading if you did, nonnas.

No. 347009

like nona >>346989 wrote, you are an alcoholic. You have been doing this for a long time now and especially your mental health won't improve if you don't stop drinking. It's the same for me, so I stopped and I feel better mentally than in a long time. Maybe find someone that can help you and find the reason why you drink, it's never too late to stop and change what makes you feel bad. And your skin will improve so much, I could see such a difference after a few days of not drinking alcohol.

I'm proud of you, nona and I'm sure you will get to the 1 year mark. That's my goal, too, one year sober from everything, we will see how this will go, but I'm so done with waking up, feeling horrible, that might be motivation enough, kek.

No. 348536

i keep drinking multiple times a week to the point where it's negatively affecting my finances, im starting to think im an alcoholic tbh
its really hard to stop because it helps me escape my life

No. 348543

Yeah you technically are an alcoholic. It sounds like maybe you should be more worried about your health than worried about it ruining your life in other ways? (I don't know, that's a question for you to ask yourself.) Since it has been 6 years you will probably have a hard time structuring a different evening routine for yourself but it's possible if you want to and I highly recommend you try. Maybe start small and have your first drink at 8pm instead of 6pm and schedule something else you enjoy outside the house for those two hours. Give your brain something else to enjoy. You'll probably be shocked at how much better you feel if you can quit for like 3 weeks, I know I was rattled by how good I felt without drinking after being a daily drinker for almost a decade. Sleep was so much more restful and I could remember things so much better.
My husband drank like you and he started getting health problems from it in his early 30s. It'll creep up on you fast.

No. 348690

File: 1694718214754.jpg (20.39 KB, 500x559, 14581353_1734365723558871_3798…)

I have been toying with the idea of moderate drinking or quitting alcohol altogether for a very long time now, but a few days I decided to stop for good and quit cold turkey.
That night, after a regular day at the office, I figured I was being a girlboss and on top of my errands, and I deserve an after hours drink. So I went into the first random shithole tavern, full of unknown gross old moids, and got absolutely obliterated. I have no idea what made me do that. I did not even like the place, I just… drank. I stayed up all night drinking at that dump, and it led to me having the first complete blackout of my life. Only when I got home and only when I woke up I realized how fucking lucky I was that nothing happened to me except dehydration. I could have fucking been raped, murdered, or both.
I have no idea why I ended up at that place, but something tells me my alcohol addiction is masking some type of bpd or bipolar disorder or other, because it was a very reckless impulsive thing to do. And while learning how to handle my retard brain will be a battle, I never, ever, want to be this scared in the morning again, and I never want to end up in a situation like that again.

So wish me luck nonnies, 72hrs dry (for the first time in 10 years) and counting. We're all gonna make it.

No. 348806

I have many reckless and self destructive "memories" from my early time of being an alcoholic and I'm still to this day very glad that nothing bad ever happend to my physically. For me, alcohol was mostly a thing to treat my depression and I just didn't care, so the idea that you drinking is masking some underlying issues could be right, wouldn't say that it has do be bpd or bipolar disorder, there can be something else and it can also be a result of being sober for some days. For me, I lose my shit when I'm around day 3 or 4, that's the time where I'm most likely to relapse, but after that point I feel more stable and well, so it's doing something with my brain that in the end will be good and healthy. Best thing so far, I haven't had a night of restful sleep in years, until I got to 3 weeks sober and it was so amazing, don't want to miss out on that again.

Hope you are still sober and doing great and next time, you order something to eat and let the drink be a drink meant for someone else.

No. 349734

posting here for accountability I guess…it's Friday night and I wanna drink so bad, even though I drank last night and paid for it today. I was up at 3am and awake until 6, I spent all this morning on the can, horrible headache and nausea, and now that it's almost 5 my brain is like yay we can drink again and I'm like ??? you dumb bitch, learn. Any nonnies not drinking with me tonight? What are you doing instead?

No. 349770

I'm not drinking tonight either. I had the chance to go out with friends and spend the little money I do have on alcohol but I decided to stay in. I'm happy to hear I'm not the only one in on a Friday night not drinking.glad you made that choice too especially after feeling like shit all day

No. 349810


I became increasingly dependent on alcohol over the past year after quitting kratom (lol) and going through some shit (a lot of it my fault). I was so angry on alcohol and gained weight (don't know how much). Most nights I had about 3 seltzers (6 standard units). My worst night about 3 months ago I drank a 6 pack and half a bottle of wine. I liked the feeling of dreamy dissociation it gave me. I have had no alcohol for 13 days and find that my body seems to be going "back to normal". I am more depressed and remorseful than angry.

No. 351220

File: 1696420435282.jpeg (132.9 KB, 1080x1252, 266663011_1286423075166389_782…)

Thank you very much for your kind words, nonnie.

In the past, whenever I would tell myself that I should quit drinking, I would start making up a million reasons why it is not possible for me:
>I have been drinking for a decade, what if I get withdrawals and die
>muh mento illness, drinking helps me cope
>if I cannot drink I will lose all my friends
>if I quit, I admit that I have a drinking problem, embarrassing

And now, I am more than three weeks sober, and what a load of bullshit I was telling myself.
Most of the stuff I was attributing to my personality, which makes it impossible for me to quit drinking, were actually consequences of being fucking drunk for ten years straight. I know it seems like the most obvious thing ever to some people, but it sure as fuck was news to me. Three weeks sober is not a lot of time, but I am already feeling so much better, both physically and mentally, I cannot believe that I was making myself this miserable on purpose.
First week I was not leaving the house, fearing I will sleepwalk into another watering hole and get wasted again. Second week I went out with a friend to a pub for the first time and I drank NA beers all night and that felt… right? So I am really happy and excited for the future.

Picrel nonitas, I am rooting for all of you.

No. 355909

hey nonas, I'm working from home today and having a really hard time resisting the urge to drink so I figured I'd post here to encourage anyone else who might be struggling.

Why I'm not drinking today:
>to save money
>so more of my calorie budget can go to yummy food that actually has nutritional value
>I like feeling clear-headed
>I like feeling alert and aware
>I don't want my night to effectively end at 7pm
>I don't want to spend tomorrow morning shitting my brains out
>I don't want to wake up dehydrated, sweaty and anxious at 3am
>I don't want to risk getting a pointless drunken fight with my gf
>I don't want to risk sending an embarrassing text
>I want to be able to drive if I need to
>I want to have REM sleep tonight
>I want to wake up without a hangover tomorrow
>One more day sober is one more day to heal my brain, liver, heart, stomach, and kidneys
>I want to wake up with clear, hydrated skin
>I want to rewire my dopamine circuits so normal things feel fun again
>I like feeling calm and stable in my emotions, which I don't when I drink
>I like feeling energetic and strong, not dizzy and clumsy

I don't really want to drink, I just want to change the way I feel. And there are better ways of doing that. Good luck and stay safe today nonas, we've got this.

No. 355933

I love you nona, you inspire me.

No. 356013

Such a cute image

No. 356041

Is it the cravings for alcohol that give you problems and not the consumption itself?

No. 356520

Started trying different sobriety medications over the last few months (naltrexone, campral, and switching to disulfiram soon) and finally enrolled in an evening early recovery program. I don't want to quit drinking for the rest of my life but I don't like how I can't limit myself and how obsessed with the next drink I become. Good luck to everyone else getting sober!

No. 371619

Have you ever got citations or been arrested for driving under the influence?

No. 372372

I've been sober for over three years now and I want to try a drink again. I have a full time job and a degree and no room to indulge like I did when I had neither of those things. Would it be a bad idea to try again? Everytime I bring it up with my bf he laughs and }points out that I have an addiction… I'm curious at the very least. I don't want to party and hangovers are how I stuck to sobriety in the first place. I can't try on my own or my bf will get upset with me, and I don't want to hide it because that's how my drinking got bad in the first place. Should I try it? I'm willing to stop if it gets obnoxious again … A hangover-free life has been pretty good .

No. 372504

No. 372640

Did your alcoholism fry your brain so bad that you can't see why this is a retarded idea? If you start drinking again, the excuses will come, and you won't stop. Just don't fucking drink.

No. 372693

Ty nonas. Cravings are sneaky and are getting better at tricking me into thinking I can have something that is essentially poison. I'm going to try to get my head back in the game and face the facts.

No. 372702

My New Year’s resolution is to drink like a normal fucking person, so since New Year’s Eve, I had 3 glasses of wine at my cousins birthday on Sunday and that’s it. I’m defining “drinking like a normal person” as only drinking at events- birthdays, weddings, big concerts, vacations etc. and not alone at home or at bars (my bf is a musician so I’m in a lot of bars seeing him play which is the biggest challenge). I’m already sleeping a lot better than I used to.

I’m also trying to not replace it with weed like I usually do by only letting myself get high 2 days in a row maximum, and a 2 day break between every time I smoke weed. Every time I quit drinking “easily” for months at a time, I would just be smoking weed all the time. Please pray for me nonnies.

No. 373618

Anyone else give up drinking as a New Year's resolution? I haven't been 2 weeks sober in years… I almost broke last night but luckily instead of ordering alcohol I just ordered some junk food takeout instead.
Sidenote: I hate how easy it is to be an alcoholic in the modern era. If you live in any big city, with just a few buttons on your phone you can buy a whole liter of hard liquor and get wasted so the whole "don't keep it in the house" shit just doesn't work. I really wish I could call the app and get them to ban me from alcohol purchases somehow.

No. 374007

Quit drinking after years of binge drinking because the hangovers have become full blown panic attacks for 8 hours straight with heart palpitations. It's honestly scary. I tried taking a small break and it doesn't matter anymore anytime I drink my hangovers are now feelings like I am actually dying or having a stroke. Anons it's horrible, your body will give up on it eventually and it won't be fun and relaxing anymore. I actually recently started drinking really nice non alcoholic beer and it's perfect, it gets rid of that desire to drink and sometimes I get a placebo effect and think I'm tipsy but with no repercussions, and its way cheaper. I wish you all luck anons, its such a hard addiction to beat.

No. 374008

Are you using uber eats? They have the option to remove alcohol from your account and you can't get it back unless you make a whole new account.

No. 374017

File: 1705475699566.jpeg (262.48 KB, 749x836, 1703946471366.jpeg)

I'm still going strong! I had a can of wine last month but other than that it's been clear skies. Unfortunately I never really saw much upsides to quitting being an alcoholic (kek, even my skin got substantially worse after quitting for some reason and I feel like death all the time these days) but I'm glad temptation didn't consume me nonetheless. I'm appalled by how long and hard I drunk, and how strong the impulse used to be. Drinking didn't even feel that good! I think the moment my priorities actually corrected themselves was when I had way too much sake…it was so late. I couldn't sleep due to how much thunderous agony I was in and it's like my body was shutting down and not in the blacking out way either. I really thought that was it for me. In the weeks following that I naturally started drinking less and less until it was no more. However, the regret haunts me still, from worries about how much I damaged my body to last time I had a sleep over with my child hood best friend…I was secretly taking sips from a bottle of wine. She had no idea. I felt so disgusting. I loathed being a person like that and it probably helped drive my quitting, too.

And idk, I doubt this will help anyone but to those that are still in the throes of it–each time your mind convinces you that it's nothing or just a sip won't hurt, you probably will regret it down the line, and that regret will fester…it will outweigh whatever satisfaction you might get from drinking…your body will probably feel worse in a way can't fully grasp nor sense…and everything else you remotely care about will feel so much duller. I'm not sure if I was able to wield my negativity to stomp out my alcoholism, but, I mean, it wasn't like positivity helped so YMMV.

No. 374279

No, it's a German food delivery app. This is awesome though, if I lived in the US I would definitely do this.

Nonna, can you recommend a non-alcoholic bear? I've tried them but they all taste like piss to me somehow. Also, I'm happy for you. I've been there with the heart palpitations and even night terrors and they're seriously the worst. I wouldn't wish it on my enemies. Cheers. (A non-alcoholic one)

No. 374303

ntayrt, but as a German nonna, I can recommend Clausthaler Extra Herb, Störtebeker also has some good ones and Lammsbräu has a good tasting selection. Still, there are just so non-alcoholic beers in stores in Germany, other countries are way ahead of us. There are two amazing online stores with a huge selection of non-alcoholic craft beer in the Netherlands, https://de.ondernulpuntvijf.com/ and https://alcoholvrijbierhuis.nl/de/, so if you like to order something, it always worked fine for me ordering beer from the Netherlands. And if you are lucky and can find it, get Guinness 0.0, wish they would sell it in stores here.

No. 374788

It's so hard. It's so hard.
I binge drink, I can drink 1.75ml in like 2 days by myself. I can drink a liter in 1 night. I only drink at night, not throughout the day, so i'll drink as soon as it gets dark like at 5pm and then drink until I black out or decide to sleep. I also notice whenever i drink I relaspe into my porn addiction again, i'll start watching porn.
I wake up feeling horrific, my hang over have gotten so worse. For like 4 days I had a pain in my cheast, i literally woke up with my heart feeling like it was vibrating after binge drinking.
I stopped for 3 days but the moment i got enough money, I got some more (yesterday). Does not help my mom/brother are alcoholics as well.
It's killing me, I know it, during the day I get so tired now and I try to tell myself "Nona you sleep all day but stay up all night". But i'm talking about, i could literally be sitting down on my computer and I'd get very very tired, I'll sleep, wake up and like 15 mintues the same thing.
I know i need to go to the doctor, my depression is so deep now, I can't think of one thing that will make me happy, besides drinking. I have no friends, nothing. I'm just so very depressed.
My living conditions suck, Like the other day a mouse literally crawled into bed with me, since then I've been waking up every few mintues scared of that happening again. I have aniexty and I hate leaving my house.
Sometimes i'll have panic attacks about how my liver will give out and I'll die, other times I'm like, "I wish I could die".
I can't even talk to anyone about it, I just feel so alone. I have a family that loves me but i just don't know what to say.
I can't even remember when I started drinking heavily, it had to be in my early 20's. The lack of anything else in my life, makes drinking/food the only true escape.
I just don't know what to do, I know it's simple, "get help, go to the doctor, start working be an adult' but my brain.
Another thing as well is I keep looking at my eyes and skin, I'm black, so I keep wondering if I'm jaundice or not.
My eyes aren't yellow, but it's like god is telling me to stop because at least twice, two cases of people with yellow eyes and health issues have came to me and it's like, i need to stop.
But what if it's too late. I'm sorry nonas for ranting i just feel so alone. So useless.

No. 374826

The best thing you can do right now is go to your family and say with all the honesty you can that you are struggling badly and need help but are unsure how to proceed. Loving family will help you figure it out. There are steps you can take to get yourself out of this dark hole, I know it seems so impossible but you can. Please just reach out to someone you trust, they’re not going to hate you for this. You deserve to be happy and know peace and life’s little and big joys, but you can’t do that until you take care of yourself. And when we can’t take care of ourselves, we need someone to help and that’s okay.

No. 374831

Thanks for your response nona, you are so wise.

No. 374849

in my opinion, and this might sound harsh, you need to get away from your mom and brother for some time. If they are alcoholics themselves and don't want to change anything they will always drag you down. I know, it's a horrible thing to write, especially when you love your family, but you need some space, because every time you see them drunk will trigger your "why, do I even stop?"-mindset. The symptoms you describe sound very much like "normal" withdrawal symptoms when you quit drinking after binge drinking for years. If you don't go to a doctor, because you are ashamed or can't afford it, don't quit from one day to another, do it slowly, less alcohol every day. It might take a month but getting sober cold turkey could be dangerous for you. Look up Delirium tremens, it's something that can happen to people drinking heavily for years and I don't want it to happen to you, so, please be careful.
And it's never too late, never, you can always change, you can always improve your mind and your health. It will be hard, it might feel like hell on earth, but you can change and I honestly believe your life will be better when you are finally sober for some time. And if you need help, you deserve that help, admitting weakness and failure is one of the hardest things you can do, but the most important things I've learned in my life were through failure. You can do it, Nonna and I believe that you can find a way to lead a happy, healthy life.

No. 374955

I can't lie to you and say your depression will magically be cured if you manage to become sober. For some of us, the sobriety is a wake up call from years of numbness. But the feeling that /something is not right/ is a good thing, and we are wrong to try to escape it by drowning ourselves in alcohol. You can only improve yourself once you allow yourself to be honest with your emotions and take a clear, sober examination of what's wrong in your life, what's missing and what's lacking. You need to face your troubles head on and run through them instead of away from them. Also the sleep anxiety will disappear after a few days, if it's really rough sleeping maybe try to get some medication that makes you drowsy. Certain brands of antihistamines worked for me. I'm rooting for you, nonna.
t. 1 month sober from 2/3 liter vodka a day

No. 375054

Start now or your starting place will be when you're in a much worse place. I tried quitting so many times and almost succeeded and I waited until I was almost at the point of psychosis to quit. I'm only now working out what meds I need, I suffer with horrible anxiety due to heavy drinking.
I urge you to get away from being alone, its a huge trigger. My parents would have taken me in earlier and I chose not to go. Since then I've had to stay with them at my worst.
Go stay with someome who supports you and get to a GP asap they don't judge and they can give you meds that help get down from the alcohol addiction. The aftermath can come in months later so be prepared to change your diet and exercise. Its super important to do something now, alcohol truly rots you long term.

No. 380432

This is more for ex alcoholics, but have any of you past alcoholics experienced severe anxiety many months after quitting? I quit binge drinking in december and I've been drinking for 10 years, however now that I've been clean for a few months now I am actually experiencing severe anxiety and especially stage fright when talking to people. I am paranoid and just feel generally weird and a little psychotic. Which is odd since I don't touch any subtstance anymore. Have any other anons experienced this?

No. 380439

Yes I've never felt more anxious then when I stopped drinking. I find that I can't enjoy social situations out of fear I will relapse again. I hope I'll pass.

No. 380462

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No. 380463

Yes. I was also a binge drinker for a long time. I’ve been done with alcohol for a year but my anxiety still feels worse than ever. I’m not sure if mine is just situational though as I’m going through several major life transitions at once. Therapy and anti-anxiety medication has helped a little, as has exercise. I lift weights a few times a week.

No. 398313

Unfortunately backslid pretty hard, I drank eleven nights out of the past two weeks (tbf that did include a camping trip) so I’m recommitting, I want to only drink 2 nights a week maximum for the next month. I am smoking a fuckton of weed but if it gets me thru being bored at home for now I’m not too worried

No. 398316

File: 1715816791413.webp (75.24 KB, 600x600, IMG_2585.webp)

Me and you both, nonna. We got this though

No. 398927

I just learned that at my peak alcoholism I was drinking over 1200 calories a day. Holy shit. I have no idea how some alcoholics stay thin. Already lost 15lbs just from not drinking. Stay strong, nonnas, especially if you have weight and fitness goals.

No. 398949

I don’t want to come out of the closet so I’ll have a drinking problem to mask that issue.

No. 398994

What makes you postpone your coming out? Do you think there's a possibility the closest people around you already suspect it?

No. 399024

>What makes you postpone your coming out?
I don’t want to be a lesbian.
>Do you think there's a possibility the closest people around you already suspect it?
My family don’t suspect anything. I have no friends. I got bullied for sounding ‘gay’ when I was at school.

No. 399040

They don’t eat. I used to know some very late stage alcoholics who were thin, their digestive systems were fucked by alcohol, suffering from constant nausea so they just drank. Like daily, never sobering up because then they would get sick. But this is a road to hell, no nutrients, avitaminosis, fucks up the whole body and the brain too. The alcoholic psychosis is literally caused by this.

No. 403462

anyone got health issues from heavy drinking yet? i am afraid ill be hospitalised for pancreatitis and the ambulance will take me to the hospital i work at

No. 403491

Sometimes I get pain between the shoulder blades after a bender so perhaps I already have pancreatitis

No. 404103

just wanna say i’m a little over a year sober and i love you all. ♥

No. 404308

I love you, nona. So proud of you.

No. 405011

well done anon! I'm beginning attempt no. 98472662

No. 405263

File: 1718105840181.jpeg (54.24 KB, 550x550, 1717955076335.jpeg)

Wanting to go out and drink behind my partner's back. She thinks I'm sober but I drank secretly at work last week and I want to just give up. I could have a bottle of wine and no one would know. She's so trusting and I feel like a monster. I think I need to back to irl AA but I hate being around people like me.

No. 406839

I need to stop. I am not an alcoholic in the "every day" type of way. But every drink turns into a binge rager. My body is tired. I feel guilty. I didn't grow up around alcohol. When I first used alcohol, it was to feel better about my shitty life…I never learned to drink in moderation. Nearly 10 years later and I should have learned that, but I didn't. I just need to stop entirely and accept I can't drink at all.

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