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No. 211748
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Guess I’ll go first
I haven’t had sex since July but didn’t make the choice to abstain until I broke it off with my fwb a few weeks later over text. When I make it to six months I’m gonna buy myself an anniversary gift kek.
>what has your motivation been for abstaining?
Basically I was sick of putting myself in a mentally emotionally and physically vulnerable space for men who just saw me as a place to put their dicks. I was tired of the mind games they like to play too. I’m gen z and got drip fed the Koolaid about how being a slut and sleeping around is soooo empowering my whole adolescence, but none of that compares in feeling to making a choice for myself to stop letting men treat me like an option and a plaything.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
I’m stuck in a small town with poor options for the next year, which has made this whole thing easier. After that, hopefully I’ll have a healthy enough sense of self that even while dating, I can feel comfortable with being single and abstinent by default.
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
Kissing and touching are still okay but nothing past second base.
Before this I learned the hard way that sex won’t make a guy love you or even like you or treat you well. But one thing I’ve discovered is that the opposite is also true. I can have a guy’s attention and interest even when sex isn’t on the table, and I’ve learned that I’m capable of being more than a thing for men to look at. A lot of the energy I used to spend on guys I’ve redirected into myself, and now I’m going to the gym more often, eating better, and taking better care of my hair and skin. Once you remove male attention from its place as the thing in your mind you need the most, everything changes.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to?
100%
No. 211752
>>211746>how long have you been abstinent for? I'd say 4-5 years, although I did have one night of action
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?After dating around for like a year, after one encounter it's like a lightning struck me, I was so anxious at the idea that this man might make me pregnant, and I don't even like him that much. I did take every precaution, to be clear, but this sudden realization still changed all my attitude towards sex at like age 23 (maybe my brain just finally stopped developing kek). There's nothing uplifting in casual sex, I haven't met any men that I'd want to live my life with and I think I'll only have sex with another person if I do actually start falling for him.
My husbandos certainly do help out in my fantasies.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?Finding someone long-term, but I'm not really working hard on it, so it might as well be called indefinite.
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?I haven't even been on a proper date in years. The most I'll do is lightly flirt or have sexually charged conversations over the internet for a while, but it usually doesn't lead to anything because I have zero self-confidence.
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?I did break my streak by sleeping with my very first boyfriend when he hit me up after 5 years as he returned home. He wanted to get back together, I wanted closure. Neither of us got what we wanted and it was just awkward all around. 0/10, wasn't worth it, and it only made my anxiety about pregnancy come back.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?That I have a lot of pent-up horniness. When I did have sex in my young adulthood, it felt like a service or a performance, now I'm absolutely against anything submissive on my part and would only tolerate a gentle man, every attempt at machismo gets men blocked or deleted.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to doIt means zero anxiety about unwanted pregnancy and none of the stress that comes with relationships or anticipations of being rejected, which is a positive. But I wouldn't say I'm
not missing out on life, but staying in your bubble always means you exchange comfort and safety for opportunities and potential.
No. 211758
>how long have you been abstinent for?
I had sex once about 6 years ago and it was maybe 4 before that
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma?
Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
Nothing deep or serious, it just makes me feel better, less stressed. I decided I'm not going to have sex until I really, seriously want to and feel comfortable with it but that hasn't happened yet. Also I want to lose weight first, I don't want anyone seeing me naked.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
Indefinite but I might try get back in the game next year, providing I've lost the aforementioned weight. That's unlikely though tbh.
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
Full nun mode, if a guy isn't worth fucking he isn't worth making out with either.
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
Just that one time having sex which sucked and turned me off it even more. He had a small dick and suddenly I was burdened with the realisation that I could keep getting unlucky with disappointing dicks. I don't wanna risk that.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
I learned how much of a sad, desperate pickme I was back when I was sexually active and how embarrassing it was. I'll never be that lacking in self awareness again, I've had too much time to cringe at myself.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
My life is super peaceful and drama free, I haven't had my feelings so much as hurt by a man in a decade, I'm 100% free of STDs, UTIs, pH imbalances and pregnancy, so yes.
No. 212305
>>212192There’s no definite answer, but the general rule is that abstinence is a choice a person makes for themselves for a finite amount of time and celibacy is a promise/vow made to a higher being or other person for an indefinite amount of time.
Abstinence can also allow for everything up to penetrative sex, while celibacy usually means no sexual contact whatsoever.
No. 212311
>how long have you been abstinent for?
I haven't had sex and sexual contact for about 2 years now, so since late 2019.
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
I used to sometimes do dirty things with guys at parties. Losing those parties devastated me, I guess. When the pandemic hit I had no motivation knowing my friends stories with hookup apps to crawl through those. I don't want to get STDs from some normie uggo, and I don't want to flirt with normie uggos. I want to obtain a job in my desired industry and move out of this trash state.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
Indefinite until I move out, hopefully next year. I don't want to have sex with anyone in this trashpit. Not unless my celeb crush comes here kek
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
Does only your right hand count as nunning out or nah?
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
Thought about downloading an app or two, and resisted.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
I'm definitely a sad sexually repressed person who needs affection, but not in the way I thought. I can fill the void with other things besides sex, or thoughts and the concept of sex, without the actualized risks of sex.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
Well, my deranged obsessions with people that have stemmed from my loneliness aside, I think I'm doing okay. I think I'm closer to my degree than I would've been if I'd had the hindrance of a garbage local boyfriend. I'll gladly take a stint of celebrity obsession over some whiny irl fwb.
No. 212459
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Is it terrible that this tweet not only convinced me to practice abstinence but that it’s ringing true? I feel so much better about myself since I stopped caring about having sex with scrotes to the point now that my actual desire to have sex has dwindled massively? I guess it’s maybe because I’m not analysing their behaviour for crumbs of interest or have realised that penis and male attention has had a net neutral (if not net negative) impact on my life, but I really just don’t want/need to have sex with anyone anymore. Idk maybe it’s my habit of preemptive rejection taking a new form, but for now it feels great.
No. 212503
>>212459No you just got a revelation, nothing wrong with it being
triggered by a random tweet lol.
No. 213315
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I’ve been abstinent for nearly 7 months and last night as I was falling asleep I had a super vivid dream about my ex boyfriend who was the last guy I had sex with. He was so beautiful and such a good lover but I broke it off because I knew we would never make it work long term. I had flashbacks to driving late night around the city with him and lying in bed with him, and I could almost feel him pressing up against my back and running his hands down my back and through my hair like he used to. When I opened my eyes and realised I was alone I wanted to cry. I never thought I’d miss physical contact this much, especially not from him. How do I keep myself from reverting to my whorish ways and see my abstinence out at least until the new year? If I can make it till then I’ll know I can do another year.
No. 213341
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>how long have you been abstinent for?
Ever since I broke up with my ex, so ~2,5 years.
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?
I've tried to date but I really don't have the energy to use apps for example and just haven't got any luck IRL either. It's shit out there romance-wise. And I don't do hookups so there's that.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?
Indefinite. I don't have any dating apps currently in use, I don't talk with any men or anything at all.
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?
Does masturbation count?
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?
See above.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?
My standards are very high nowadays, kek. Also a bit of femcel-y thoughts.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to do
Uhh, maybe? I'm still a bit salty I don't have anyone to have sex and romance with, but still being single is kinda comfy in the end.
No. 213587
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>>211746>how long have you been abstinent for?birth, i dont even masturbate.
>what has your motivation been for abstaining? Religion? Trauma? Waiting for your husbando to come to life?the state of the world right now. everything is pornographic and perverted im sick of it. everyone is a sexual deviant it makes me want to become something even more sexless than a monk. just hearing about people being sexual ironically or not makes me feel physically ill.
that said, i also used to be a porn addict as a child so i guess i drained all my need for anything erotic in nature.
even though really i was only watching ridiculous or outrageous porn for comedic purposes like cartoons or comically extreme things any that you would imagine. so it was mostly entertainment thought that phase of my life lasted from age 6 to 15 s*x doesnt even cross my mind anymore and when it does it is completely intrusive and i hate it, and for years ive been saying that i didnt actually want to [do it] even during my porn addiction because the thought of losing my hymen makes me want to kill myself. besides, i like this lifestyle; pure and chaste free from disease and sin.
ive tried masturbating once or twice in my teenagehood but it made me feel disgusted AND disgusting before during and after and ive never finished anyway so it was all in vain and i truly regret it.
>are you working by a timeframe or are you indefinite?indefinite. i just cant imagine willingly putting myself in that situation.
>are you only abstaining from certain practices or are you fully nunning out?fully nunning out. monking out ? can females be monks ? ive been joking about becoming one for a few years but now this is becoming serious it seems…
>what’s been your closest call to breaking your streak so far?nothing at all, i dont even think i have felt an emotion sexual in nature after the age of 14 but i dont even know if that was real or if i was just trying to relate to my friend who was very much hormonal at that age.
>whats something you’ve learned about yourself since practicing abstinence?um nothing really. but i have learned that most people are generally perverts which is truly sick and i wish i could just live like a troglodyte forever so i wont have to see any of that ever again.
>do you think your abstinence is achieving what you wanted it to doumm IDK. i guess i never really thought about the benefits really but i guess i am not diseased and still pure so yes i suppose it has.
No. 226082
>>226071Lots of therapy and lubricants,
Nonnie. Also slowly start masturbating, if you feel like it. You should also consider that, if you have sexual drive, you’d still want to have sex and you can’t deprive yourself of what
you want because you’ve been abused. That’s not fair to you.
I am so sorry that happened to you, though. I hope you get through that awful experience.
No. 226083
>>226082I don't really have a sex drive as a result of SSRI, unfortunately. I guess if I meet a man who's ''worth'' the effort, I will consider pelvic therapy. Thanks
nonnie, you sound really kind and thoughtful
No. 226760
>>226757I'm so sorry you've only had negative experiences anon. I just want to say that there are good people out there who don't mind waiting for the right time or sharing intimacy outside of penetrative sex. Also if you want to be a mom you don't
need a partner for it. There's always adoption, sperm donor, etc. I know that doesn't follow the typical spousal narrative but if raising a child is that important to you you shouldn't let the presence of another person decide whether you get to enjoy it or not. Plenty of kids don't have any family and would be overjoyed to go to a loving home.
No. 226875
>>226799Good for you anon, I just reached that point myself (abstinent, sadly not asexual) nearly a decade past the age you were. I think it's partly due to trauma and partly due to just being fed up with men's bullshit. Do I miss physical and emotional intimacy with a man I find attractive? Sometimes, of course. But I don't miss the mind games, misogyny and inconveniences even more.
>>226779You're right and you should say it