/g/ - girl talk

One thing that I've seen is that re-parenting yourself might help you get better from family enmeshment, so I'm sharing this here too

>>280760
this is very helpful.

>>280762
Thank you anon. The moment I found out you can actually treat yourself better than your parents ever did, my mind was blown. My parents were weird, they had their nice moments but also berated me a lot. I definitely needed a more loving and kind type of parenting. Knowing I can actually give myself what they never did without badmouthing myself feels liberating. I thought I would always talk myself down and be neglectful like they did.

I've been interested in re-parenting self-help for a while now, since something about it really resonates with me. My favourite books on the subject are:
>The Emotionally Absent Mother by Jasmin Lee Cori
>Healing Your Aloneness by Margaret Paul and Erika Copich
>Inner Bonding by Margaret Paul
>The Inner Bonding Workbook by Margaret Paul
The last one is more spiritually focused (and I don't really enjoy the writing style), but it takes you step by step through the process, including journal prompts. Very helpful.
For understanding trauma and becoming inspired to choose healing:
>Healing From Trauma by Jasmin Lee Cori
>Losing Your Pounds of Pain by Doreen Virtue
That one is worth reading if you struggle with compulsive eating, or any other self destructive habit like cutting, hair pulling, etc.
For learning to meditate/be mindful:
>Wherever You Go, There You Are by Jon Kabat Zinn
If anyone knows good meditation books by female authors, please share!
For learning to take loving action on your own behalf:
>The Assertiveness Guide For Women by Julie De Alvarez Hanks
>Healing Your Inner Child and Yourself for Life by Veronica Bond
This one is a very short e-booklet that won't teach you much of anything but comes with concrete suggestions on activities that promote healing.
For those who have been in abusive relationships, including with her own father:
>Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft
Books I have not personally read but seem worth checking out:
>Homecoming by John Bradshaw
>Affirmations for the Inner Child by Rokelle Lerner (short)
>Rescuing the Inner Child: Therapy for Adults Sexually Abused as Children by Penny Parks
All of these books can be found online on the Z-Library. To find more books on the subject, you can search keywords like "mother wound", "re-parenting", "inner child", "inner bonding", "self-love", and of course "family enmeshment". I encourage you to look for self help literature specific to your situations/conditions as well, for example sexual abuse, PTSD, poverty, narcissism, etc., where possible. I think it's also good to try workbooks, journaling, meditation, yoga, healthy eating. For those of us who need a little extra support, look into therapy, 12 step programs, workshops, intensives, etc. Find what you like and practice what works best for you!
Lastly, the first step in all this is learning to recognise, name, and experience your emotions as they happen. If anyone has good resources on learning to be present in your body specifically to attach labels to emotions, please drop them ITT! It may seem strange but I have found personal success with using resources to teach young children emotional literacy. Like this blogpost for example: https://printableparents.com/teach-your-child-to-name-feelings/ It is simplistic but it helps.
Best wishes to everyone ♥

>>280771
thanks for the resources anon

>>280771
Thanks anon!

For anyone who needs it

This is a very wholesome thread, thank you !

posting this too since it seems relevant

>>281057
also posting these
https://medium.com/invisible-illness/6-signs-you-grew-up-in-an-enmeshed-family-and-how-it-affects-you-5e6f856a29ee
https://psychcentral.com/blog/imperfect/2019/05/the-enmeshed-family-system-what-it-is-and-how-to-break-free#The-legacy-of-enmeshment
https://psychcentral.com/lib/tips-on-setting-boundaries-in-enmeshed-relationships#whats-next

also this
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/living-emotional-intensity/201907/4-ways-release-anger-towards-your-parents#:~:text=The%20causes%20of%20lifelong%20anger,Physical%2C%20mental%2C%20or%20sexual%20abuse
https://www.choosingtherapy.com/anger-at-parents-in-adulthood/

might also be helpful

bell hooks mentioned going through a time in her life where she was severely depressed and suicidal and how the only way she got through it was through changing her environment: She surrounded her home with buddhas of all colors, Audre Lorde’s A Litany for Survival facing her as she wakes up, and filling the space she saw everyday with reinforcing objects and meaningful books. She asks herself each day, “What are you going to do today to resist domination?” I also really liked it when she said that in order to move from pain to power, it is crucial to engage in “an active rewriting of our lives.”