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No. 379519

for mixed-race women to chat, vent, discuss culture dynamics, and generally gather. this goes for any mixed ethnicity woman. thread was suggested in the Asian girl problems thread.

Refer to site/board rules. Avoid infighting, please.

No. 379522

the closest thing we had was a dead thread about half-asian makeup. sorry if some nonas dont like the thread pic

No. 379525

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Ive always had this fantasy of being in a monoethnic village and being the same race and culture as everyone else. Just being super basic and not sticking out. That sounds like a dream to me

No. 379526

Nice thread! I never knew if i should write in the other ones tbh, it's good to have our own.
I think the pic is very cute, nonna.

No. 379528

I had a similar fantasy growing up of living on an island where everyone was mixed race like me and we all fit into society there instead of sticking out for being mixed

No. 379529

being multiple things at once is like being nothing at all.
you're a stranger at home. at all homes.
you don't resemble your own family.

No. 379533

I think being mixed is actually epic cool and sexy. I pass as several things and it keeps me mysterious to strangers. Their reactions to me are amusing.
I am also connected to both of my cultures and feel kinship with other mixed people, particularly those of a similar mix.
My features used to be the thing I hated most but I've grown into them. Hot or ugly, we all look unique.
>you don't resemble your own family
True but can also be funny

No. 379534

I'm not annoyed by people asking me where I'm from, but what annoys me is when they don't accept my answer, act like I'm lying for some reason, and keep digging to try and find out the truth. Like I'm obligated to talk about my background and family heritage to some nosy stranger

No. 379698

Please not another race thread
t. Mixed girl

No. 379723

Does it count if I'm Mexican or we're already our own race?

No. 379734

Mexicans and most other Latinos are technically mixed, usually some blend of Indigenous, European (Spanish), and sometimes West African. Ethnically Hispanic but racially mixed. But I don't think they have the same experiences as someone who is more obviously mixed. Like you still have a country you can point to and call your own because it's a whole country of people who are mixed like you, so there is more cultural cohesion. Latinos have a very specific set of cultural issues that a lot of other mixed people won't relate to, but I could see some overlap. There's a Latina thread somewhere in /g/ if that interests you too.

No. 379783

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Is it weird that I hate it when people immediately ask what my race is? I don't mind if it comes up naturally in conversation, but ever since I was a kid and even now as an adult (though less often now) I get people immediately asking about my race. Sometimes before they even know my name. I've been told I'm sensitive for this and other mixed people saying they dislike this seems to annoy so many people but I find it tactless and tiresome. Also, I have tons of family issues so it makes me think about them and I hate it.

No. 379787

Nah, that's normal. Everyone makes presumptions based on race and it's frustrating when you don't even get a chance to present yourself without the baggage of race. People who've never been asked that question don't realize how much the answer affects the way you're treated.

No. 379795

I also have many family issues and they always start asking about how my parents met and shit. But if I don't want to tell a total stranger about my family history somehow I'm a bitch? Kek

No. 379800

Great thread. Trying to have these conversations on race in the other generals has been vexing, and I can't even fully blame the non-mixed nonnas. Hopefully discussion will do better here.

No. 379802

I had the same question as a mixed heritage Jew.

No. 379832

if I don’t try to be beautiful and successful a part of me feels like I’d be an example of why mixing races is bad.

No. 379833

I feel like the only way to be mixed is to be fetishized or exploited. I wish monoracial people would view us as normal.

No. 379878

Do any other "somewhat white-passing" nonas feel like you're at a disadvantage appearance-wise whenever people lump you in with white women? I'm kind of racially ambiguous and people clock me as a different ethnicity (mixed or not) pretty much 100% of the time, and sometimes people think I'm some sort of white. But I don't really have the features people find attractive in white women (prominent yet thin nose, light hair and eyes, etc.) so whenever someone compares me to a white woman who "looks like me" (they never do kek) I just feel "wrong". It doesn't help that I don't really know anyone who looks like me that I could look for as a reference, even with this specific mix. To be clear – it's not a big deal, I don't wish I were white nor do I have hangups regarding my race – I just wish I knew more people who looked like me so I wouldn't have to be compared to a group that I'm "kind of, but not really (and therefore inadequate to some degree)".

No. 379883

When I was a girl, I used to hate that I had darker features and freckles and wished so much that I'd been born blond, blue eyed, pale, and thin lipped like my dad. At the time the beauty standard was very Eurocentric here, and I was the one kid in my class who wasn't fully white, so I always felt so ugly and ashamed.
The standard is more inclusive now, and I don't feel ugly with my black hair, brown eyes, olive skin, full lips, or freckles anymore. But deep inside of me the little girl who never felt pretty or worthy of finding love still exists. I can't help but feel that if I try to find love, he'll just use me as a little experiment before breaking up with me to settle down with a white woman, and if I try to befriend pretty girls, they'll secretly be laughing at me or pitying me because I don't look like them. I wish there were more mixed people of my age in this country, because then I could try to find love without my insecurities stopping me.

No. 379904

It's not weird, I've experienced the same and it is exhausting. I don't necessarily hate it because I know a lot of people are genuinely just trying to bond, but I'm very racially ambiguous (both my parents are mixed), and everyone thinks they're the first ever to play the "let me guess your race" game with me before asking my name. No one has ever guessed right, because I'm not more than a quarter of anything. I've gotten guesses for Hawaiian, Indian, Indonesian, Filipina, sometimes people get fancy and guess Mexican and Japanese, etc. etc. It's tiresome being treated like an exotic bird at a zoo, but I don't think most people who do it mean any harm. Usually, when brown people do it, it's because they're hoping I'm the same race as them, I think they feel isolated in white majority places and want to find someone like them. I feel bad because I'm not and they always seem a little disappointed. When white people do it, it's more to show off how worldly and not racist they are, which is clumsy and annoying, but better than active hostility I guess.

Related, has anyone had the experience of being called racial slurs or experiencing racism for a race that isn't even yours? I sometimes get anti-Middle Eastern racism directed at myself, and it's like the one thing I'm not. I don't bother correcting people because it'd feel like saying "don't be racist towards me, be racist towards the actual target instead" when in reality, they should just be told to fuck off. But it's still crazy when it happens.

No. 379907

I'm Roma so yes. I just never fit any mold by default. People assume I'm French, Italian or Spanish but I don't have any of the features typical of those regions. I just look like a fair skinned Roma woman, if you're Balkan you know what I mean. I cared about looks in my teens but I accepted it's not something I can change. I don't hate how I look but I'm just not the beauty standard and that's that. I guess I'm lucky that I look like one of my parents, it's my dad kek so I don't know if it helps.
I realized that it just stems from anti-"gypsy" jokes and everyone shit-talking my entire ethnic group all the time and it is always allowed. Most people who say bad things don't interact with any Romanis and assume I'm not because they don't really know how most Roma even look like. But they somehow know the stereotypes "are true because it is in their culture". They won't know what that culture is when you ask tho.
I was like you but autistic so I just assumed I look like everyone else. I did not kek, grown adults were awful to me and I had no idea why until later. I miss being clueless.
>if I try to find love, he'll just use me as a little experiment before breaking up with me to settle down with a white woman, and if I try to befriend pretty girls, they'll secretly be laughing at me or pitying me because I don't look like them
Felt. Wishing you the best nonna. I hope you find someone just for you.

No. 379931

Exactly, and I agree that immediate discussions about race are a baggage and yes, I can visibly see people shift modes when I mention certain backgrounds.

Right? I understand the curiosity (though I would never ask someone this type of question) but that they get offended at my being even mildly evasive is frustrating.

I've generally experienced very similar to you, but I have gotten white people who were visibly disappointed that I'm not what they guessed (or wanted?).

About your question, I'm not sure if this quite counts, but I've gotten a lot of anti-Native American racism. This is kind of ambiguous because I am technically part native, but only 1/8th or so and I wasn't raised in that environment and know nothing about it, I just ended up looking that way to some people because of the way my features and coloring ended up. I've had people literally barge up and ask if I'm native and people yell racial slurs about them to me. Some mixed race Asian friends said they got racist comments or people being unusually rude during covid because they were mistaken as Chinese.

No. 379952

I've heard pretty much every anti-Asian slur and tasteless joke under the sun and I'm not even remotely Asian, I just have significant Native ancestry and it shows on my features. It's a very weird position to be in and to this day I don't know how else I could've reacted to it other than trying to ignore those people, it's not like you can stop racist harassment by saying "hey, I'm not actually Chinese/Japanese so please stop pulling your eyelids around me" kek. Thankfully this hasn't happened in a very long time, the only type of comment I get now is "I thought you were Asian" when I tell them I'm not, which could be a whole nother can of worms but I honestly couldn't care less at this point.

No. 379965

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this thread makes me rly happy because i can relate to a lot of your experiences. i look racially ambiguous and have gotten tons of attention for it my entire life. i've never seen anyone who looks remotely similar to me. kek i feel like i look like a randomized sim. however, i've never wanted to look monoracial, not even as a child growing up in the most homogenous place ever. probably because i've gotten positive reactions to my appearance simply due to it being ambiguous and kind of weird. i hate the fact that i'm an outsider no matter where i am though. like it's so easy to see that i don't belong.

do any of you have white half siblings? i have a brother who's a decade younger than me and we have a really close bond. one of my friends said that he's an exact copy of my mom and it was the first time i thought 'wow, i don't look anything like her'. i'm not sure if it unconsciously bothered me as a child because people constantly asked me if i was adopted and it must have affected me on some level? i have a terrible relationship with my mom though, so i'm glad that i don't look like her kek.

i hate it. i used to work as a student assistant at an university and a student came up to me and was like 'hey, my friend and i have a bet about your ethnicity!', it was terrible because both were men and it made me feel incredibly objectified. when someone asks me about my ethnicity i've recently began to say "i'm a lot of things! what about you?". it's always monoracial people who ask and they act soo surprised when they don't get an answer and are hit with the same question. if they are like "oh i'm british" i follow up with "oh! anything else?" in an upbeat way just to make sure that they are uncomfortable.

omg i've experienced this! when i had straight hair for a while and dyed it black lots of people thought i was asian. one day a guy on a subway that passed by randomly pulled up his eyes while looking at me and laughing with his friends. it was crazy.

No. 379968

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My parents are both mixed b/w and this is unironically how I look. I don't fit in anywhere and I feel really ugly. I pass as neither black nor white. kms

No. 379979

>i follow up with "oh! anything else?" in an upbeat way just to make sure that they are uncomfortable.

Kek Nona you are a genius for this

No. 379990

Where do you live where people just go up to strangers and ask what their ethnicity is? That’s weird, rude, and autistic.

No. 379993

I’m Asian/Latina and what I pass as completely depends on the season. Summer and spring, I have a nice tan and you can tell I’m Latina with indigenous features, but in fall and winter? I get pale and people ask me if I’m Wasian

No. 380000

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This is kind of autistic but has anyone else ever related a lot to half-elves in media? I love fantasy stories and any time there's a half-elf character I feel an instant sense of connection to them even if the writer fumbles that aspect of their character a bit.
NTA but it happened a lot to me when I was in middle/high school and I grew up in a fairly large city in the USA. People who I've never spoken to just randomly going "I'm sorry, but what ARE you?" was super common. And of course people spreading rumors that I was adopted because I don't look like my parents or half-siblings. It's weird and retarded to ask and sometimes people aren't satisfied with the answer or will even doubt me and ask for proof.

No. 380006

Nta but she could be in the US, I got asked frequently no matter where I lived. I moved to a different country and no one asks. The US is autistic about race.

No. 380020

Happens a lot even in California.

No. 380021

>do any of you have white half siblings?
Kind of, my mother was a white passing Latina who married a white man after I was born, so my siblings are at minimum 3/4 white and very much look it. They look like a mix of both my parents while I look nothing like my mother (I take after my Asian father). My siblings were treated far better than I was, and I'm sure race played a role in that.

I grew up in California and had it happen all the time. Same for other major cities in the US. I've also been asked in other countries though, like Spain.

No. 380038

I feel the opposite. I always liked having dark hair and eyes and exotic features, I never wished to look fully white or blonde. But it’s clear society has a preference for that. I never felt ugly, but society definitely tried to make me feel ugly. My sister looks exactly like me but with green eyes and lighter brown hair, and she definitely got preferential treatment by boys, strangers, etc in general for being more white passing than me.

Yeah it actually pisses me off when other non white people try to palm me off as white, it makes me feel invalidated because I definitely don’t feel white inside or relate to the white female experience in general. I understand that as a mixed race person I have certain advantages over a fully ethnic person, and I haven’t faced as much racism as other people have, but it’s still very ignorant to dismiss mixed race people as white or claim they don’t struggle. Imo, if random people have ever questioned your ‘whiteness’ in terms of appearance and you aren’t immediately classifiable as European looking, then you don’t have white privilege.

No. 380042

ayrt. i live in northern europe and the view on race here is completely different than that of the us, yet people get hung up on it when it comes to me. it's hard for people to "know where i'm from" because i clearly look like an outsider, which makes them not treat me like a real human being. idk how to explain it, but i always get objectified by these people in particular. at my old job a middle aged female coworker randomly asked me if i was adopted because i have "long tan legs". i also attract the most disgusting and retarded men without trying. a gross middle aged balding man has literally ran after me on the street (twice!) to ask me about my ethnicity. i don't even see the reason to answer that question because numerous people have said that i don't look like "my mmix" at all like what is the point.

i recommend all mixed nonnas to try this! the last guy i did this to (at a work conference) got so stressed after explaining how all of his ancestors were danish that he started showing me pictures of his car on his phone KEK.

No. 380052


No. 380150

Anyone else terrified of never getting married / finding true love? I look at the black side of my family, and almost none of them are married or supported / loved by a man while it’s the total opposite for my white side.

No. 380155

Me too. In my country, most people marry within their nationality. I mean I know I'm of the same nationality technically, but I look different, talk different, had a different upbringing, practice some different customs, etc. I'm worried about thinking I've found love, just to find out he viewed me as an exotic experiment and ditch me for a fully white woman who he can bring home to his parents and easily fit into his life and culture. It's one of many reasons I'm volcel

No. 380165

nayrt, but i'm also afraid that a future significant other will see me as something akin to an exotic pet. even though mixed race people, especially men and women, have different experiences i would be the most comfortable when dating a mixed guy. i'll have life long identity issues and need someone who can relate kek.

question for my mixed nonnas: do you have any celebrities or influencers you relate to? my biggest hobby is watching football/soccer and there are a lot of mixed players (even though they're men) who have similar upbringings as me lol.

No. 380194

I feel lucky that I have a very strong preference for a certain race of men and luckily they seem to be very receptive towards me (and no it’s not black men or white men kek)

No. 380214

Has anyone else been a victim of white people invalidating you for both not being white enough and poc invalidating you for not being poc-enough? I’m half Middle Eastern and basically just look like a ‘spicy white woman’ I guess. Because of this I’ve had people literally accuse me of not actually being mixed but being fully white and larping as part mena. Yet I’ve also been called racist names, a terrorist etc by white people. I feel more in touch with and more comfortable with MENA culture because I feel like mena people are used to seeing Middle Eastern people of all types, from the palest white passing arab girls with blue eyes, to extremely dark skinned girls with coily hair, so they tend to be much more accepting of me and don’t question me, they know I’m not lying. One of my best friends is a fully Iraqi girl and she literally looks 100% white with pale as fuck skin and blue eyes and light brown hair. She’s also experienced similar backlash, many white people do not believe she’s Iraqi until she starts speaking Iraqi Arabic fully.

The people who are most racist towards me always seem to be south Asian girls for some reason, I genuinely have no idea why. I wore Middle Eastern clothing for a friends party and posted it on instagram. I don’t know if some lurker reposted it somewhere or something but within a few hours I was inundated with angry messages from a ton of south Asians who were saying I was white and trying to larp as mixed, and saying I was culturally appropriating Arab culture. What was weird is none of them were actually Arab. I was getting positive comments from Arabs. But the hater comments all all seemed to be Pakistani women and Indian Muslims. I blocked all of them and laid low for a while but it made me very paranoid. (There’s a Pakistani woman called Faryal Khan and I’ve heard she also got a lot of abuse back in the day from Pakistani women who claimed she was just a white woman larping or something) on the other hand I’ve also experienced racism from whites for not being whitewashed or 100% white passing enough and called horrible insults when I display any trace of my non white heritage in front of them. It’s very frustrating.

No. 380215

Not into sports but I do like watching hockey and it’s not very mixed lol.

No. 380216

I feel like my mixed family members don't have enough self awareness about it and it's so fucking cringe. My mom is 1/8 black and always wants to talk about being black with other black people and they just look at her like she's crazy. I know she grew up in the 60s and it was different then but it's so embarrassing to see a white-passing adult talk about "the culture" with people who actually get mistreated because of their appearance. My siblings are just as bad, always speaking for black people when they usually get mistaken for Hispanics. During the racial reckoning of 2020 my sister started braiding/wrapping her hair and my brother started listening to woke (actual woke, not the bastardization of it) rap. Like they both suddenly wanted to get in touch with their roots for the clout but if you know them at all it just looks pathetic and out of character.

No. 380217

Yeah me too. I have 2 ex bfs and both of them dated white women after me and 1 is getting married. It does make me feel some kind of way, I wish it didn’t but alas…

No. 380219

Uhhh there are other races of people to date besides white you know…I don’t really have sympathy for mixed or woc nonas who worship and only date white moids/women and then expect not to face racism, be excluded by their families, or be made to feel like shit by their general white ignorance. Either date white people and accept they will make you feel like crap sometimes, or date other races or mixed people and stop complaining.

No. 380222

DA but sometimes this is easier said than done…for most of my life I lived in a town that was over 85% white according to the census. As a lesbian, it wasn't easy finding mixed or nonwhite women to date. The closest I got was a TIF who was a quarter Mexican. I ended up just giving up on dating because the white women I was with were so quick to take their racist friends' sides whenever they would say something fucked up to me. I have since sworn off dating white women, but it isn't like there's a bountiful dating pool of mixed/nonwhite women (or men) everywhere.

No. 380246

I want to date someone who is also biracial, caveat being they must be half Asian, but specifically Japanese. Considering I’m a lesbian I don’t view this as a realistic standard though.

No. 380264

I also wanted to date an asian or hapa lesbian but they’re extremely rare irl unfortunately. My town already is less than 1% asian and out of that I haven’t found any Asian lesbian women

No. 380265

Ayrt; I live in a tiny European country that doesn't have a lot of immigration, and most of the immigration we do get is from other countries in Europe. Not everyone is from America or Britain or somewhere where they can easily date another poc. I for one have never even met another mixed race person in my age group, the only ones I've seen are young kids.

No. 380293

I'm not really interested in dating but there is a part of me that feels like I would prefer to marry a white person just so our children hopefully grow up more white passing than me and don't have the same experiences I did.

No. 380312

>every country is as diverse as usa

No. 380315

Most of us live in the west aka majority white countries, so of course most of the men around us are white. Also, we’re allowed to have preferences just like anyone else.

No. 380324

My current boyfriend is a hapa, I'm not mixed with Asian but both of us being half-white made our experiences feel very similar. I think that I would prefer to only be with mixed race partners if I can help it because I feel more familiarity with a mixed race person of a different combination than I feel with mono-race people of one of my two cultures. Plus if their family is full of mixed race relationships then they're way less likely to have weird racial dynamics and look at you differently.

No. 380333

kek. same nona. me and my whole dads side of the family love watching hockey (thanks Justin Abdelkader)

No. 380380

>shieldmaidens immediately jump out of the woodwork to defend m’sirs shiny pink penis/m’ladys shiny white clitoris despite whining about how evil white people are
Lol typical. Also, there’s no Western European country that isn’t full of immigrants, so unless y’all all just happen to be mixed girls living in Latvia or some shit, youre larping about how there’s no non white people to date. Just admit youre self hating and worship whites.(infighting)

No. 380453

How dare someone have a preference that's not dating migrants working a minimum wage job or no job at all and living in migrant housing in the ghetto(racebaiting)

No. 382014

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I'm half black half white. I don't know what's worse: being so fetishized you're the default porn category (white) or being given weird labels like ebony by porn companies (black). Why is porn so dehumanizing to everyone?

The idea that other minorities can't be racist is weird. In my experience minorities can be worse than whites when it comes to that, depending on what your background is.

Isn't it kind of messed up that mixed people are being shamed for wanting to get in touch with their roots if their skin is too pale? But everyone is allowed to get in touch with European cultures even if they have no Euro ancestry and their skin is darker than the night sky.. if my kids came out paler than me I would be upset if I was forbidden from sharing my culture with them just because we don't look the same.

No. 382018

There's a difference between getting in touch with your roots and LARPing. It's why traveling to Europe is normal but 6th gen New Jersey Italians talking about the homeland are mocked. I'm not sure where the line should be drawn, obviously there's nothing wrong with identifying with one parent's culture, but there's a point where it comes off as trying too hard and not really having a sense of self outside of race.

No. 382053

There’s nothing wrong with wanting to get in touch with black culture if you gave African dna. Blood quantum is a rule white people made up to alienate mixed people from their culture and assimilate them/whitewash them into white society so they would be more likely to betray the people of their tribe and get them killed. If you have any African American ancestor then it’s possible you legit have ancestral memories from them too.

No. 382054

Non white people can be racist but white people are far more genuinely and hatefully racist, they just hide it better when in the company of black folk. I’m part black but white passing, and my mom is also Jewish and as am I, so I’ve heard how white people talk when they think there’s ‘no niggers or kikes around’. Also a lot of racism that non white people express is actually just racism taught to them by whites through colonialism, like colorism in India or among African Americans. Either way a black auntie calling you a burnt biscuit isn’t equal to the number of white people who regularly talk about how much they’d love to genocide entire races.

No. 382078

Colorism in Asia has nothing to do with white people. It’s a cope made up by DSBW.

No. 382080

nta, you kind of lost me at
>If you have any African American ancestor then it’s possible you legit have ancestral memories from them too.
sounds a bit woowoo kek

No. 382143

Why does every person I date have to prefer white people?
They don't leave me or anything, I'm a freak for power so I leave first. But fuck if it doesn't make my problems worse. I already wanted to be fully white and experience intermittent frustration at only being halfway there.
We're all different kinds of brown too.

No. 382162

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Any hapas here that battle internalized colorism?

The environmental factors at play are somewhat cultural, I know friends of my mother who have just candidly admitted at dinners to bleaching their skin, being noticeably complimented for it. Even my mother has tried the kojic acid soap.

Aside from that, what was in vogue for me growing up?… the "living dolls" and Japanese/lolita makeup tutorials, big eyes with contacts, pale faces and pink lips, waifish models like Vlada Roslyakova and Gemma Ward… etc. All of it points to a standard I feel is just out of reach. I remember that stupid Venus Angelic video that was like, "How to look half Japanese!" lol

I'm half Chinese and half French. I've always felt ashamed of it because growing up you're surrounded by constant Japanophilia (and even Koreaboos) yet simultaneously met with Sinophobia and general colorism. Especially online. I obviously shouldn't take /pol/tards seriously but I've been a NEET all my life so I constantly am subliminally absorbing stupid shit like "SEAmonkeys" and those MSpaint WMAF caricatures you see, I've probably seen that one of Vivienne Tye / laowhy's Wife at least fifty times. It never feels glamorous to be Chinese: the stereotypes are always repulsive. Part of it may be the lingering aftermath of the red scare (vaguely political comments about the state of China, shit about gutter oil, surveillance, communism) and others are just commonly perpetuated stereotypes like being very reductionist when it comes to academics. Visually, online we're more often portrayed as brown, slanty eyed, with an unpleasant accent and shrill voice… fiery, easily provoked, thick-skulled (thinking of Mr. Yunioshi from Breakfast at Tiffany's) as opposed to the Japs, who are like, super sugoi and kawaii!!!!~ Delicate, demure, girly, excessively decorated (Harajuku fashion, Lolita, maid cafes, in a dressed up uniform) with anime-like voices, and their broken English is even seen as endearing instead. You see this with vtubers like Inugami Korone; it's seen as a cute thing… yet I've never heard someone say to me that they find girls with Chinese accents adorable. I've seen so much of "tfw no Japanese girlfriend", people praising their jpop idols, voice actresses, etc… making light of the stereotypes in a way that portrays them as endearing, like that one picture of Mogusa Shirose in the snow captioned "Ouhhh… Husbant…" hahahah. Weebs always talking about how they want to pick up their life and move to Japan, how much they adore the glittering lights of Akihabara, and how they "just love the culture." (Pewdiepie & TrashTaste) And this is of least importance; but all the right-wing chuds online (which is incidentally most of the people in the corners of the internet I'm in, just due to interest overlap) that glamorize Japan because it's a socially conservative ethnostate with strict immigration (Huh, weird, it's like China also fits this description) and treat the Chinese as an enemy while perceiving Japan as a beacon and ideal. The politics of it all are deeply entangled with history (nobody would call a Chinese an "honorary Aryan"), and naturally, this theme of anti-China and pro-Japan permeates mainstream contemporary politics as well. I obviously don't seek the validation of these people; but it would just be nice to feel like I'm not being punched down on wherever I turn.

I can basically sum this all up with a quote from a TV show called PEN15 (didn't watch it because it seemed cringe, but I related to the clip:) "Why is being Japanese special on her and bad on me?" The constant glamorization/fetishization of one "kind" of Asian, and the demonization of all other "kinds" of Asian, is a bit demoralizing at times. It feels exactly like this: I was born as the "wrong kind of Asian." I've warmed up to my heritage much more in recent years but the feeling is still there. I no longer beat around the bush, shy away from the topic ("What's the other half?" "Er… Asian. East. East Asian. I was born in America, though.") I'm learning the language and I've gone to the past two lunar new years festivals with her, learned the dishes and stuff… It's actually really liberating! We plan to go to Taiwan some day. Wish I had more to say after all that whining, wanted to end it on a positive note, but. It's really just an inconclusive rambling.

Let me know if you relate, and how you navigate the dissonance.

No. 382170

I've dealt with the same thing and it irritates me that certain nationalities will be in vogue and admired to a degree of absolute delusion, but other (even very similar) cultures are detested. I've gotten a lot of the "SEAmonkey" crap too because I also have SEA ancestry while enduring weebs who adore anything Japanese even if it completely contradicts itself–like I've seen men insist that even Japanese porn stars are "pure" compared to Western ones. Why? No reason given, just because they're stupid weebs but these ideas proliferate. I'm old enough to remember back when Koreans were looked down upon and seen as lesser than the Japanese too but because kpop is popular now they're almost at the same level of Japan in terms of acceptability even though, as you said, a lot of the traits admired about those two countries are shared with other Asian countries (say, China) that get none of the social benefits.

I didn't get this from my Asian side (though they worshiped white people; I think my father only liked my mother because she looks white) but I grew up with a ton of colorism and racism from my Hispanic side and it sucked. They even bought me skin lightening cream–which didn't work–and I grew up feeling bad because my mother and sister (sister is not half Asian) are both white passing and pale and got tons of praise and attention for it.

I don't know how to cope with all this and I don't, tbh, other than to ignore the stupid fucks who spout this shit. Unfortunately, they're all over the internet so it's nearly impossible to avoid.

No. 382251

I'm half Indonesian/white (some mix of Scottish, Polish, w/e) and for pretty much my entire life I've wished I was the "good" kind of Asian, EA instead of SEA. I've always felt secretly embarrassed by my Indonesian ancestry, the backwards economic conditions of that country, the crazy conservative Muslim population, the ugly language… it's still hard for me not to feel this way. Even my Indonesian family sometimes seem like they have this inferiority complex with their love of Korean and Japanese pop culture, fashion etc. Recently my cousin showed me these hugely popular young Indonesian influencers, and of course they're mixed Chinese and try to look like K-pop stars. My whole life I wished I passed as more mixed EA, and seeing the way people gawk at videos like the one in your screenshot, the way people romanticize and put half Japanese people on a pedestal, it's just so hard not to.

No. 382283

From what I’ve seen with most other mixed race people I’ve met, they either completely deny and ignore anything to do with their ethnic background and want to completely whitewash themselves and hang out with and date only white people while looking down on poc, OR they go the opposite way and become super anti white, constantly go OTT with their poc side by trying to virtue signal and show how authentically of that race they are to the poc they’re trying to impress, even if they can’t speak the language or have never really been genuinely immersed in that culture, only date poc from that culture, while ignoring and deriding their white side. Honestly, as a mixed race person, I hate both of these types so much, even though I understand why it happens so often.

No. 382286

I think it’s all to do with whichever parent they hate the most. For instance I know this hapa girl who absolutely hates her Asian mom because she abused her, so she always denies that she’s mixed and only ever hangs around with white people. Likewise I know another mulatto girl who hates her white dad and her black mom died early, so she’s always trying very hard to fit into black culture even though she had an incredibly whitewashed upbringing and very little contact with a black community, because she was raised by her white dad who she hates.

No. 382328

This is actually so true, idk why I never picked up on it. I have always sort of resisted half my racial makeup because I hate my dad and his family. Always liked and related to my mom more, used to be sad we weren't the same exact race. Neither of my parents are full white, so I think this applies to any mix.

No. 382330

I’m friends with another mixed girl. She’s a quadroon, her mom is white and dad is half black. She also has a white stepmom and she said both her mom and white stepmom treat her really badly so she’s always been quite uneasy around white women. But she doesn’t feel accepted by the black community so much because she’s very light skinned with straighter hair and light eyes. I’ve noticed most mixed people will identify more with whatever parent and culture treated them better.

No. 382368

I disagree. I think it’s more of a phenotype & privilege stacking thing. Which is why half-black women overwhelmingly identify as black because we have advantages in the black community that we don’t get in non-black communities.
Meanwhile mixed women who aren’t mixed with black are way more likely to identify & integrate with their white side.

No. 382384

I think you're onto something, but I'd add half white/east asian as a group that leans heavily into identifying as poc, at least among people under 40.

No. 382404

Thanks for this thread nonnie
I'm a latina quadroon and I have no connection to my black or hispanic side at all. I'm fairly white passing but look a bit off. I was a lot more tan as a kid though and got made fun of for having frizzy hair, body hair, and a big butt in my all-white school. I wasn't the exotic attractive kind of mixed, just the awkward, off-looking kind. White kids were truly awful to me.

But black people feel alien to me since I never grew up around them, and like I can't relate to their struggle growing up semi-white passing and privileged. Part of me wants to get closer to black people, but I just feel like a white apologist larper, and I feel like the ones I've told think I'm lying. If I ended up growing up in a blacker community though I'm sure I'd feel similar to your friend. Sucks to be in between. I'm a lot more self-hating after being on the internet too long as well

No. 382420

Everyone under 40 identify as WOC, even white women. Same thing with LGBT, and we all know why.
Anyways it doesn’t refute my point, white/asian girlies are just LARPing and playing the oppression games like everyone else, but the reality is that they’re quite well accepted into white communities and almost always marry into it.
For black/white, or even just black/non-black women, it’s more of a 50/50 thing.

No. 382428

It kind of happened to me. I always identified more with my asian (maternal) side. My dad is a self hating racist that pretty much denies he is black and I feel that kind of influenced me subliminal to reject my black side to some degree. Nowadays I am more open about it but deep down, I always feel closer to my asian side. My dad is just like the guy in this tiktok.

No. 382436

I don’t know about that. I went to an international school and there were a lot of half Asian half white kids there. From what I saw, the hapas really wanted to be accepted by the Asian side and desired to integrate into it, but there were barriers, a lot of the time it seemed like they could care less about the white side, or had already faced fetishization and racism from the white side and were sick of it and wanted to ‘privilege stack’ in the Asian community I guess. They really really wanted to be accepted. But Asian society is so homogenous, that even just having slightly textured hair, a bigger nose or larger eyes than average immediately marks you out as different and people assume you must be mixed. And being mixed also carries negative connotations because Asian countries are highly nationalistic and patriotic and the Asian parent is often seen as a traitor. I think growing up in Asia as a hapa is somewhat difficult, I’ve heard a lot of bullying and suicide stories of hapas who tried to integrate into Japanese, Chinese or Korean culture. I remember some famous hapas like Anna Tsuchiya said she was badly bullied and even shoved down the stairs by Japanese girls at school for being mixed and different. A couple years ago NHK showed a segment about mixed race kids in Japan who took their own lives because of bullying. The alternative is fetishization and anti Asian racism in the west, although I guess it really depends how white passing they are.

No. 382438

i think it depends on the parenting style and background. hapas get a bad reputation for being fucked up because many of them are the product of racist, aspie white incels who imported a mail order bride from SEA and experience the neurosis and dissatisfaction of both parents. the hapas i know who actually have decent loving parents are usually fine. i know one wmaf hapa kid at college who is super popular, both his parents are successful decent looking normies. and i know another older amwf hapa woman and her brother, whose parents are very loving and supportive, and both their kids are successful and attractive. likewise i know hapas from trashy backgrounds and they are almost always mentally ill. it all comes down to the quality of the parents imo. trashy people make trashy kids unfortunately.

No. 382442

I used to just say I'm not part of a race, but now I just go on a long rant listing the dozens of ethnicities/races I'm part of and watch the light fade from their eyes after minutes of my droning.

No. 382443

Americans/Westerners are so unhealthily obsessed with race it’s kind of sad. Glad I grew up in a country that doesn’t really give a shit where you’re from as long as you assimilate and speak the language.

No. 382445

Not Asian but my parents otherwise have the exact relationship you described. And today I'm a depressed recluse NEET. Shit sucks

No. 382447

>They even bought me skin lightening cream
Holy crap, no wonder you feel the way you do.

No. 382554

>I'm not black I'm Dominican
Unironically true. I don't consider him black, he doesn't consider himself black. Genetically, I think Dominicans of course are partially black but the latin influence is stronger. Despite their proximity, Dominicans are 100% different from other "black" ethnicities. The culture matters, too.

No. 382582

Black identity in Caribbean countries is especially tricky because they're all strongly influenced by West African, Spanish, and Native cultures. So they are countries of very mixed people. Self-identification with being black is very low, even though if you visit, it's clear the more ethnically African you are, the more you are socially mistreated.

No. 382778

Which country is that?

No. 382800

Anyone else is super annoyed at the mixed women (half-black) are privileged discourse?
Like there’s no benefits in being half-black, I’m sorry. And they seem to make it about desirability politics and it’s so untrue (unless you only date black men) that we’re considering a "preference" lol.

No. 382815

maybe they mean media portrayal?

No. 382941

And what about it? Contrary to blackistan popular beliefs, mulattas are NOT erasing or replacing black women. In fact, there’s just as many black women as mixed women represented in american / western media.
You know who you barely see? Asian women, half Asian women, MENA women and to a lesser degree latinas.

No. 382942

>In fact, there’s just as many black women as mixed women represented in american / western media.
Eh kinda disagree with this part, especially in recent years. I think this used to be true around the 90s/early 2000s but now it feels like the same few mixed actresses like Zendaya being casted a hundred times.

No. 382943

Samefag I think colorism is the main issue here but that happens with every race to be fair.

No. 382950

Colorism is basically moids preferences. It’s not an issue that women can fix which is why I don’t give a shit.

No. 382951

For every Zendaya, there’s an Ayo. BWE online spaces only hyper focus on mixed women out of spite.
In fact both black women & half-black women are over represented in western medias.

No. 382979

What are you talking about lol. Asian females are overrepresented as woc leads. That’s because they’re seen as the other white meat and the white and Jewish men who fetishize asian women always stick them in their movies and shows, as long as they are paired with a white or Jewish male lead.

No. 382990

Completely disagree. There’s hardly any black female romantic leads in modern media. Sometimes they’ll choose Zendaya because she’s lightskin and racially ambiguous (could pass for Latina or something) but they would never date cast a darkskin black woman as a romantic lead/main character and write a beautiful deep story about her love. Black women are usually only ever side characters to some white moid.

No. 383253

File: 1709655449433.jpg (274.62 KB, 1080x1293, legal.jpg)

>be half Ashkenazi, one quarter black, one quarter Iranian

>I look like a regular white girl and my parents opted to give me a white girl name because having a foreign name is a pain in the ass according to my mom

>find out companies obsessed with DEI check people's LinkedIn pictures to make sure they are the race they want


Well fuck me, I guess. Do I have to dress up like Rachel Dolezal or do I have to bring a print out of my family tree to every job interview?

No. 383256

File: 1709655798247.jpg (449.11 KB, 1080x2002, shit.jpg)

This is going to fuck over racially ambiguous people so hard.

No. 383271

do you ladies get asked more about your race by men or women? i estimate 90% of the people who ask about my ethnicity are men, which i dislike because i suspect there's usually some insidious intent behind it. unless it's from a fellow mixed race person, then i can believe that there's genuine interest behind their question.

No. 383282

>Ashkenazi-Iranian with a white girl name
Hello BGR.

No. 383283

This is pathetic. Time to boycott LinkedIn.

No. 383290

Men absolutely. And it's always white men too.

No. 383306

I just lie now and say I’m a completely random ethnicity like Basque mixed with Eskimo to fuck with them lol

No. 383320

File: 1709670985873.jpg (252.48 KB, 1080x1031, paper.jpg)

The most annoying part is that this is going to affect my kids, too. My husband is white so the odds that the kids will be white passing are high. Am I supposed to give them names like Ty'rell and Shakwanda and make them take Jazz lessons to emphasize their minority status?

Yeah, it's literally a reverse paper bag test. But linkedin isn't to blame, it's Gem that's the problem. And there is no way to get a list of all companies employing their services.

No. 383341

Here come the tragic biracials whining about nothing(racebaiting)

No. 383342

I too enjoy lying about being from random places. I have tan skin, black hair and brown eyes, so I can pull off like half the countries in the world

No. 383355

Weirdest bait post ever.

No. 383368

I'm half black, half Egyptian. When people ask, I just say I'm Egyptian since I look just like one. And people go, "Wow, that's so cool!" Since you think of the pyramids, pharaohs, and all. The demographic I live in is mainly white, so they will be looking me up and down in bewilderment, then eventually ask. I enjoy confusing people.

No. 383387

This thread has the most retarded bait

No. 383398

This is so fucking dystopian

No. 383401

>Tragic biracials
You realize that there’s a black girl general thread, right? You don’t have to be here.

No. 383414

File: 1709726048014.jpg (41.86 KB, 333x500, 511IbsC 3AL.jpg)

You find it weird, but dolezalmaxxing is a reality for every ambitious minority kid who looks too close to a race that is currently disfavored by diversity officers (white or asian). Do you think smart Phillipinos call themselves Asian when they apply for college? Fuck no, they call themselves Hispanic to get lumped in with the Mexicans on paper.

>getting passed up for a good job or a promotion because of your skin color is nothing


No. 383426

Both of you need to log off and get a hobby. What are you retards even talking about kek

No. 383427

>Do you think smart Phillipinos call themselves Asian when they apply for college? Fuck no, they call themselves Hispanic to get lumped in with the Mexicans on paper.
Literally nobody does this you imagined a scenario and got mad at it

No. 383676

Kek this. I just burst out laughing at their post. What the fuck? Literally never heard of Filipinos larping as Mexican to get into college.

Btw, Filipino-Americans earn very good money on average, despite most not having a degree.

No. 383709

File: 1709866670582.jpg (42.42 KB, 513x598, images-2.jpg)

Growing up with some japanese blood in me and having a cousin who looks more asian than I do gave me some issues. She's so beautiful and thin, and got very nice mixed features. I'm tall and built or whatever (that's what a friend called me) and look more like my dad who is white/hispanic. If I wipe out the "my grandfather's dad was japanese" shenanigans it'll end in someone calling me a faker and asian fisher idk. Well at least lolcow and /cgl/ always bullied others for this reason so I never got to really express it. I have the retarded x type knees that japanese anime finds kawaii though I guess I'm defective but cute in a skewed way.

I will never call myself asian btw. But I wouldn't lie that I have faced weird comments because /part/ of me is "asian". Both the "have you ever been to Japan and met your relatives" way and the "your last name sounds made up like every other weeb and you're probably faking it" way. Calling myself hispanic is sooo much easier, some hispanic people already have asian features anyway. But I wouldn't lie if I said I wish this part of me wasn't so invalidated. Oh well. I'll keep it hidden some more. Until I get a cringe 23andme test that is kek just kidding please don't bully.

No. 385911

My sister and I are half south asian half hispanic and she is so insufferable about denouncing her Indian half and trying to be as latina as possible; being the more latina looking one etc it’s almost very funny like insisting that her hair is brown rather than very clearly black or when we’re having an unrelated conversation she’ll randomly bring up ethnicity and go “I guess that’s just the latina in her, somehow” (referring to me) then go on about how I look and seem more Indian than her, like we were talking about airplanes seats before this kek

No. 385916

Latinas also have very dark hair
>t. I am latina

No. 385920

ofc but she believes
>black hair + brown skin = more Indian
>brown hair + brown skin = more Latina

No. 387774

File: 1711545024868.jpg (44.17 KB, 533x678, NINTCHDBPICT000628821377.jpg)

Unpopular opinion: I don't care if someone wants to change their phenotype, as long as they're not attacking people who naturally have those traits, or lying about their ancestry (bc that's weird).
Like, my issue with the Jesy Nelson thing was her letting the actual biracial/black+white girl (Leighanne) in Little Mix get bullied by racists for years without caring, just to try and skinwalk her in the end because looking mixed with black became a "trend". It's nasty.

No. 387778

Your great grandfather was asian, so you are like at best 1/8th, like why would you even look asian and why do you have issues that you dont? And how is being asked if you have met your realtives weird? Sorry to dismiss your trauma or whatever but lol, sounds like your trauma is about being a weeb, not being mixed.

No. 387791

The weirder part was when so many people thought she was mixed but not Jade Thirlwall who actually is half Arab.
I think the backlash also comes from racialized features being treated as a "trend" and when they are no longer trendy the "racefishers" can just go back to being white while women who naturally have those features cannot. But also there's a whole conversation to be had about any women's features being treated as trends and most female beauty standards being arbitrary and ever changing markers of social status.

No. 387793

Doesn't she say she has a Japanese family name as well? I guess that can contribute to it.

No. 387896

My dad comes from an extensive multiracial (b/w/ndn) family and my mom is creole and black. I've always felt confused about identifying as mixed or not since i only lived with my mom and she said me and my siblings were black. but i realized as i got older i don't even look like the average black person in my family, and many of the women i saw growing up on television or in media who i was similar to (light skinned and kinky hair texture) were actually mixed women. my parents are both good looking so i think i turned out looking ugly as a sick joke.

No. 387988

Has anyone else had their perceived race/ethnicity change as they got older? I’m 50/50 wasian but when I was a kid I feel like I looked more like 75% asian or something. I grew up in a very white small town and was singled out and bullied for my perceived race a lot by other kids and even teachers. But now as an adult my Chinese mom tells me that I don’t look asian at all anymore and that I’m basically a white person to her. I don’t know. It feels very strange and sad, sort of like she is rejecting me now that I’m not a cute little kid anymore. And although I’m glad that randos at new jobs don’t immediately make the awkward racial small-talk questions of “So where are you from? Where are you really from? No, I meant where are your parents from?” at me as their first conversation anymore, I wonder when I stopped being perceived as an asian person and became white-passing without even realizing it.

No. 388788

I don't really feel connected to the culture of my region, nor country or even family.
Kind of tiring to vent to other mixed people in mainstream spaces and receiving "but we have more than one culture, isn't that cool?" No, maybe for you, but not for me.

No. 388795

I'm mixed but look completely white, to the point people will accuse me of lying when I say I have Asian origin. When I was about 6/7 I used to get picked on at school for having mendhi on my hands after Eid but then when mendhi became popular with white girls the SA girls treated me like I was a cultural appropriator. I know that having pale skin is a privilege but I do sometimes wish I looked at least plausibly Asian instead of being caught in between.

No. 391063

They’re either in ghetto reality shows or as race swaps, for easier rage bait marketing. it’s a bad time to be black/black-adjacent

No. 391065

Why is AI being used for evil purposes?

No need for klan mentality. As long as you fuck white, your kids will be alright. It’s POC, especially black people who will suffer in the coming decades. Nerds are getting their lick back(racebaiting)

No. 391328

aw, i'm sorry nonna. i cannot see that being the case to be honest, because it sounds like a very radical change. the randos at your job not making weird small talk might be society changing in many places and that being seen as rude.

as someone who has the same phenotype as zendaya, i'm tired of people acting as if she gets treated the same way as monoracial black women do when she clearly looks mixed and gets treated accordingly. the one drop rule in the us is crazy and it's interesting to see how big of a contrast it is compared to the way race is seen in brazil. and i'm not trying to ~distance her from her blackness~ or anything, it's just that she wouldn't be seen as a black woman in the country i have grown up in (not brazil) because she looks stereotypically mixed. and that's a big part of being mixed, your appearance, at least in my experience how you look and how the world treats you according to that.

No. 398866

This post made me realize that this is a sort of oppression most mixed people seem to face across the board. They bash and bully mixed race people for being "outsiders", take their existence as some kind of dig at their people, and mock them. But then, when it comes to how they want other groups to perceive them, they push mixed people to the front, or emulate their natural features and act like they're the standard. The hapa girl with rounder eyes or different hair gets isolated, but the same girls who excluded or bullied her literally go home and use makeup, wigs, hair dye and editing apps to copy her appearance. Other races do the same. I've even seen some white people do it via mocking certain Mediterraneans with somewhat mixed ancestry for "looking brown" (having darker skin/hair and eyes or bigger noses), then copying their appearances (or even going beyond them) and trying to use them as some kind of shield when people say it's weird.
Granted, I'm seeing this happen less and less these days, but it's been a prevailing trend over the years.

No. 399257

I definitely can relate to that as a biracial black woman. Monoracial black women like to kick us out of the black community at will while trying everything in their power (makeup, wigs, contacts & even getting nose jobs) to look more like us.

No. 399415

even if I am half asian I don't think I could realistically ever call myself asian. blasians are always glossed over. I do feel bitter about it. asian Americans are always complaining about never being seen as American and I wonder if they know that the world over they're doing the same thing.

No. 399536

I'm also half Asian and the other half isn't white. Unfortunately, Asian/nonwhite mixes and our issues get ignored all the time.

No. 400091

They always seem to complain about eurocentrism- specifically about WMAF, but then perpetuate the same eurocentrism by ignoring everyone else. They lack self awareness in spades.

No. 401869

The one drop rule is insane. I’m from the country with almost zero black people and I had no idea Zendaya even was black when I first saw Euphoria. She looked white to me…

No. 401870

One drop rule is for people with miniscule amounts of black DNA anon, not half black people

No. 401871

Sorry, anon, I know it’s not a thread for me as an ignorant white person. I googled Zendaya’s parents and she is indeed half-black. Isn’t it crazy how white she looks? Isn’t it crazy that it’s possible? I always thought half-black people looked like their black parents, only slightly less dark.

No. 401872

Half black people can look black, white, in between, or sometimes even different races like Latino or Indian. Zendaya clearly looks biracial and black to me, idk how you got just white from her.

No. 401905

For real, she looks obviously mixed to me. Not even ambiguously mixed, she looks like what she is, half black and half white.

No. 402169

Hi, I’ve never met another half Indo in these spaces. I’m half Indonesian/Brit. I agree that the language is ugly and so many of the people there are embarrassing, especially with the Islam stuff. Thankfully my Asian side isn’t Muslim. I think we as a Wasian population are fine, there are cute half Indos such as Cindy Kimberly (yes pre-surgery), Nadya Hutagalung, and of course lots of Indonesian girls loved young Nicholas Saputra. What personally makes me feel more in touch with that side is researching the Dutch East Indies period where Indos have a history. People who enjoy making fun of or looking down upon mixed people feed off of our insecurities so please try not to be embarrassed or ashamed. If there are full Indonesians who somehow found a way to be militant ethnonarcs you deserve to be content with who you are

No. 402269

Zendaya doesn’t look white at all lmao. Are you trolling? White passing mixed women are women like Halsey or Rashida Jones.

No. 402278

to be fair a lot of white people in hollywood do plastic surgeries and injections to have commonly black features like slanted eyes, thick lips, chiseled jaw.

No. 412903

bc then Asians will have to confront their racism/xenophobia/exclusionist lol. when it's white/Asian they can either bask in the whitewashedness or play the victim card

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