File: 1708035639794.jpg (64.53 KB, 173x231, cherhalfbreed.jpg)
No. 379525
File: 1708036304870.jpg (34 KB, 624x431, gray-blobs.jpg)
Ive always had this fantasy of being in a monoethnic village and being the same race and culture as everyone else. Just being super basic and not sticking out. That sounds like a dream to me
No. 379526
Nice thread! I never knew if i should write in the other ones tbh, it's good to have our own.
>>379522I think the pic is very cute, nonna.
No. 379533
I think being mixed is actually epic cool and sexy. I pass as several things and it keeps me mysterious to strangers. Their reactions to me are amusing.
I am also connected to both of my cultures and feel kinship with other mixed people, particularly those of a similar mix.
My features used to be the thing I hated most but I've grown into them. Hot or ugly, we all look unique.
>>379529>you don't resemble your own familyTrue but can also be funny
No. 379783
File: 1708066808283.jpg (42.72 KB, 514x536, Tiresome.jpg)
Is it weird that I hate it when people immediately ask what my race is? I don't mind if it comes up naturally in conversation, but ever since I was a kid and even now as an adult (though less often now) I get people immediately asking about my race. Sometimes before they even know my name. I've been told I'm sensitive for this and other mixed people saying they dislike this seems to annoy so many people but I find it tactless and tiresome. Also, I have tons of family issues so it makes me think about them and I hate it.
No. 379883
When I was a girl, I used to hate that I had darker features and freckles and wished so much that I'd been born blond, blue eyed, pale, and thin lipped like my dad. At the time the beauty standard was very Eurocentric here, and I was the one kid in my class who wasn't fully white, so I always felt so ugly and ashamed.
The standard is more inclusive now, and I don't feel ugly with my black hair, brown eyes, olive skin, full lips, or freckles anymore. But deep inside of me the little girl who never felt pretty or worthy of finding love still exists. I can't help but feel that if I try to find love, he'll just use me as a little experiment before breaking up with me to settle down with a white woman, and if I try to befriend pretty girls, they'll secretly be laughing at me or pitying me because I don't look like them. I wish there were more mixed people of my age in this country, because then I could try to find love without my insecurities stopping me.
No. 379904
>>379783It's not weird, I've experienced the same and it is exhausting. I don't necessarily hate it because I know a lot of people are genuinely just trying to bond, but I'm very racially ambiguous (both my parents are mixed), and everyone thinks they're the first ever to play the "let me guess your race" game with me before asking my name. No one has ever guessed right, because I'm not more than a quarter of anything. I've gotten guesses for Hawaiian, Indian, Indonesian, Filipina, sometimes people get fancy and guess Mexican and Japanese, etc. etc. It's tiresome being treated like an exotic bird at a zoo, but I don't think most people who do it mean any harm. Usually, when brown people do it, it's because they're hoping I'm the same race as them, I think they feel isolated in white majority places and want to find someone like them. I feel bad because I'm not and they always seem a little disappointed. When white people do it, it's more to show off how worldly and not racist they are, which is clumsy and annoying, but better than active hostility I guess.
Related, has anyone had the experience of being called racial slurs or experiencing racism for a race that isn't even yours? I sometimes get anti-Middle Eastern racism directed at myself, and it's like the one thing I'm not. I don't bother correcting people because it'd feel like saying "don't be racist towards me, be racist towards the actual target instead" when in reality, they should just be told to fuck off. But it's still crazy when it happens.
No. 379907
>>379878I'm Roma so yes. I just never fit any mold by default. People assume I'm French, Italian or Spanish but I don't have any of the features typical of those regions. I just look like a fair skinned Roma woman, if you're Balkan you know what I mean. I cared about looks in my teens but I accepted it's not something I can change. I don't hate how I look but I'm just not the beauty standard and that's that. I guess I'm lucky that I look like one of my parents, it's my dad kek so I don't know if it helps.
I realized that it just stems from anti-"gypsy" jokes and everyone shit-talking my entire ethnic group all the time and it is always allowed. Most people who say bad things don't interact with any Romanis and assume I'm not because they don't really know how most Roma even look like. But they somehow know the stereotypes "are true because it is in their culture". They won't know what that culture is when you ask tho.
>>379883I was like you but autistic so I just assumed I look like everyone else. I did not kek, grown adults were awful to me and I had no idea why until later. I miss being clueless.
>if I try to find love, he'll just use me as a little experiment before breaking up with me to settle down with a white woman, and if I try to befriend pretty girls, they'll secretly be laughing at me or pitying me because I don't look like themFelt. Wishing you the best nonna. I hope you find someone just for you.
No. 379931
>>379787Exactly, and I agree that immediate discussions about race are a baggage and yes, I can visibly see people shift modes when I mention certain backgrounds.
>>379795Right? I understand the curiosity (though I would never ask someone this type of question) but that they get offended at my being even mildly evasive is frustrating.
>>379904I've generally experienced very similar to you, but I have gotten white people who were visibly disappointed that I'm not what they guessed (or wanted?).
About your question, I'm not sure if this quite counts, but I've gotten a lot of anti-Native American racism. This is kind of ambiguous because I am technically part native, but only 1/8th or so and I wasn't raised in that environment and know nothing about it, I just ended up looking that way to some people because of the way my features and coloring ended up. I've had people literally barge up and ask if I'm native and people yell racial slurs about them to me. Some mixed race Asian friends said they got racist comments or people being unusually rude during covid because they were mistaken as Chinese.
No. 379965
File: 1708126645528.jpeg (142.33 KB, 900x615, 8077.jpeg)
this thread makes me rly happy because i can relate to a lot of your experiences. i look racially ambiguous and have gotten tons of attention for it my entire life. i've never seen anyone who looks remotely similar to me. kek i feel like i look like a randomized sim. however, i've never wanted to look monoracial, not even as a child growing up in the most homogenous place ever. probably because i've gotten positive reactions to my appearance simply due to it being ambiguous and kind of weird. i hate the fact that i'm an outsider no matter where i am though. like it's so easy to see that i don't belong.
do any of you have white half siblings? i have a brother who's a decade younger than me and we have a really close bond. one of my friends said that he's an exact copy of my mom and it was the first time i thought 'wow, i don't look anything like her'. i'm not sure if it unconsciously bothered me as a child because people constantly asked me if i was adopted and it must have affected me on some level? i have a terrible relationship with my mom though, so i'm glad that i don't look like her kek.
>>379783i hate it. i used to work as a student assistant at an university and a student came up to me and was like 'hey, my friend and i have a bet about your ethnicity!', it was terrible because both were men and it made me feel incredibly objectified. when someone asks me about my ethnicity i've recently began to say "i'm a lot of things! what about you?". it's always monoracial people who ask and they act soo surprised when they don't get an answer and are hit with the same question. if they are like "oh i'm british" i follow up with "oh! anything else?" in an upbeat way just to make sure that they are uncomfortable.
>>379904omg i've experienced this! when i had straight hair for a while and dyed it black lots of people thought i was asian. one day a guy on a subway that passed by randomly pulled up his eyes while looking at me and laughing with his friends. it was crazy.
No. 379968
File: 1708127737906.png (294.72 KB, 534x541, eawgeawg.png)
My parents are both mixed b/w and this is unironically how I look. I don't fit in anywhere and I feel really ugly. I pass as neither black nor white. kms
No. 380000
File: 1708142817279.jpg (12.21 KB, 200x252, images (2).jpg)
This is kind of autistic but has anyone else ever related a lot to half-elves in media? I love fantasy stories and any time there's a half-elf character I feel an instant sense of connection to them even if the writer fumbles that aspect of their character a bit.
>>379990NTA but it happened a lot to me when I was in middle/high school and I grew up in a fairly large city in the USA. People who I've never spoken to just randomly going "I'm sorry, but what ARE you?" was super common. And of course people spreading rumors that I was adopted because I don't look like my parents or half-siblings. It's weird and retarded to ask and sometimes people aren't satisfied with the answer or will even doubt me and ask for proof.
No. 380021
>>379965>do any of you have white half siblings?Kind of, my mother was a white passing Latina who married a white man after I was born, so my siblings are at minimum 3/4 white and very much look it. They look like a mix of both my parents while I look nothing like my mother (I take after my Asian father). My siblings were treated far better than I was, and I'm sure race played a role in that.
>>379990I grew up in California and had it happen all the time. Same for other major cities in the US. I've also been asked in other countries though, like Spain.
No. 380038
>>379883I feel the opposite. I always liked having dark hair and eyes and exotic features, I never wished to look fully white or blonde. But it’s clear society has a preference for that. I never felt ugly, but society definitely tried to make me feel ugly. My sister looks exactly like me but with green eyes and lighter brown hair, and she definitely got preferential treatment by boys, strangers, etc in general for being more white passing than me.
>>379878Yeah it actually pisses me off when other non white people try to palm me off as white, it makes me feel invalidated because I definitely don’t feel white inside or relate to the white female experience in general. I understand that as a mixed race person I have certain advantages over a fully ethnic person, and I haven’t faced as much racism as other people have, but it’s still very ignorant to dismiss mixed race people as white or claim they don’t struggle. Imo, if random people have ever questioned your ‘whiteness’ in terms of appearance and you aren’t immediately classifiable as European looking, then you don’t have white privilege.
No. 380042
>>379990ayrt. i live in northern europe and the view on race here is completely different than that of the us, yet people get hung up on it when it comes to me. it's hard for people to "know where i'm from" because i clearly look like an outsider, which makes them not treat me like a real human being. idk how to explain it, but i always get objectified by these people in particular. at my old job a middle aged female coworker randomly asked me if i was adopted because i have "long tan legs". i also attract the most disgusting and retarded men without trying. a gross middle aged balding man has literally ran after me on the street (twice!) to ask me about my ethnicity. i don't even see the reason to answer that question because numerous people have said that i don't look like "my mmix" at all like what is the point.
>>379979i recommend all mixed nonnas to try this! the last guy i did this to (at a work conference) got so stressed after explaining how all of his ancestors were danish that he started showing me pictures of his car on his phone KEK.
No. 380165
>>380155nayrt, but i'm also afraid that a future significant other will see me as something akin to an exotic pet. even though mixed race people, especially men and women, have different experiences i would be the most comfortable when dating a mixed guy. i'll have life long identity issues and need someone who can relate kek.
question for my mixed nonnas: do you have any celebrities or influencers you relate to? my biggest hobby is watching football/soccer and there are a lot of mixed players (even though they're men) who have similar upbringings as me lol.
No. 380219
>>380155Uhhh there are other races of people to date besides white you know…I don’t really have sympathy for mixed or
woc nonas who worship and only date white moids/women and then expect not to face racism, be excluded by their families, or be made to feel like shit by their general white ignorance. Either date white people and accept they will make you feel like crap sometimes, or date other races or mixed people and stop complaining.
No. 380265
>>380219Ayrt; I live in a tiny European country that doesn't have a lot of immigration, and most of the immigration we do get is from other countries in Europe. Not everyone is from America or Britain or somewhere where they can easily date another
poc. I for one have never even met another mixed race person in my age group, the only ones I've seen are young kids.
No. 382014
File: 1709088428648.jpg (326.43 KB, 1080x1354, mixed.jpg)
I'm half black half white. I don't know what's worse: being so fetishized you're the default porn category (white) or being given weird labels like ebony by porn companies (black). Why is porn so dehumanizing to everyone?
>>380219The idea that other minorities can't be racist is weird. In my experience minorities can be worse than whites when it comes to that, depending on what your background is.
>>380216Isn't it kind of messed up that mixed people are being shamed for wanting to get in touch with their roots if their skin is too pale? But everyone is allowed to get in touch with European cultures even if they have no Euro ancestry and their skin is darker than the night sky.. if my kids came out paler than me I would be upset if I was forbidden from sharing my culture with them just because we don't look the same.
No. 382080
>>382053nta, you kind of lost me at
>If you have any African American ancestor then it’s possible you legit have ancestral memories from them too.sounds a bit woowoo kek
No. 382162
File: 1709164198701.jpg (115.2 KB, 1280x720, hapa.jpg)
Any hapas here that battle internalized colorism?
The environmental factors at play are somewhat cultural, I know friends of my mother who have just candidly admitted at dinners to bleaching their skin, being noticeably complimented for it. Even my mother has tried the kojic acid soap.
Aside from that, what was in vogue for me growing up?… the "living dolls" and Japanese/lolita makeup tutorials, big eyes with contacts, pale faces and pink lips, waifish models like Vlada Roslyakova and Gemma Ward… etc. All of it points to a standard I feel is just out of reach. I remember that stupid Venus Angelic video that was like, "How to look half Japanese!" lol
I'm half Chinese and half French. I've always felt ashamed of it because growing up you're surrounded by constant Japanophilia (and even Koreaboos) yet simultaneously met with Sinophobia and general colorism. Especially online. I obviously shouldn't take /pol/tards seriously but I've been a NEET all my life so I constantly am subliminally absorbing stupid shit like "SEAmonkeys" and those MSpaint WMAF caricatures you see, I've probably seen that one of Vivienne Tye / laowhy's Wife at least fifty times. It never feels glamorous to be Chinese: the stereotypes are always repulsive. Part of it may be the lingering aftermath of the red scare (vaguely political comments about the state of China, shit about gutter oil, surveillance, communism) and others are just commonly perpetuated stereotypes like being very reductionist when it comes to academics. Visually, online we're more often portrayed as brown, slanty eyed, with an unpleasant accent and shrill voice… fiery, easily provoked, thick-skulled (thinking of Mr. Yunioshi from Breakfast at Tiffany's) as opposed to the Japs, who are like, super sugoi and kawaii!!!!~ Delicate, demure, girly, excessively decorated (Harajuku fashion, Lolita, maid cafes, in a dressed up uniform) with anime-like voices, and their broken English is even seen as endearing instead. You see this with vtubers like Inugami Korone; it's seen as a cute thing… yet I've never heard someone say to me that they find girls with Chinese accents adorable. I've seen so much of "tfw no Japanese girlfriend", people praising their jpop idols, voice actresses, etc… making light of the stereotypes in a way that portrays them as endearing, like that one picture of Mogusa Shirose in the snow captioned "Ouhhh… Husbant…" hahahah. Weebs always talking about how they want to pick up their life and move to Japan, how much they adore the glittering lights of Akihabara, and how they "just love the culture." (Pewdiepie & TrashTaste) And this is of least importance; but all the right-wing chuds online (which is incidentally most of the people in the corners of the internet I'm in, just due to interest overlap) that glamorize Japan because it's a socially conservative ethnostate with strict immigration (Huh, weird, it's like China also fits this description) and treat the Chinese as an enemy while perceiving Japan as a beacon and ideal. The politics of it all are deeply entangled with history (nobody would call a Chinese an "honorary Aryan"), and naturally, this theme of anti-China and pro-Japan permeates mainstream contemporary politics as well. I obviously don't seek the validation of these people; but it would just be nice to feel like I'm not being punched down on wherever I turn.
I can basically sum this all up with a quote from a TV show called PEN15 (didn't watch it because it seemed cringe, but I related to the clip:) "Why is being Japanese special on her and bad on me?" The constant glamorization/fetishization of one "kind" of Asian, and the demonization of all other "kinds" of Asian, is a bit demoralizing at times. It feels exactly like this: I was born as the "wrong kind of Asian." I've warmed up to my heritage much more in recent years but the feeling is still there. I no longer beat around the bush, shy away from the topic ("What's the other half?" "Er… Asian. East. East Asian. I was born in America, though.") I'm learning the language and I've gone to the past two lunar new years festivals with her, learned the dishes and stuff… It's actually really liberating! We plan to go to Taiwan some day. Wish I had more to say after all that whining, wanted to end it on a positive note, but. It's really just an inconclusive rambling.
Let me know if you relate, and how you navigate the dissonance.
No. 382170
>>382162I've dealt with the same thing and it irritates me that certain nationalities will be in vogue and admired to a degree of absolute delusion, but other (even very similar) cultures are detested. I've gotten a lot of the "SEAmonkey" crap too because I also have SEA ancestry while enduring weebs who adore anything Japanese even if it completely contradicts itself–like I've seen men insist that even Japanese porn stars are "pure" compared to Western ones. Why? No reason given, just because they're stupid weebs but these ideas proliferate. I'm old enough to remember back when Koreans were looked down upon and seen as lesser than the Japanese too but because kpop is popular now they're almost at the same level of Japan in terms of acceptability even though, as you said, a lot of the traits admired about those two countries are shared with other Asian countries (say, China) that get none of the social benefits.
I didn't get this from my Asian side (though they worshiped white people; I think my father only liked my mother because she looks white) but I grew up with a ton of colorism and racism from my Hispanic side and it sucked. They even bought me skin lightening cream–which didn't work–and I grew up feeling bad because my mother and sister (sister is not half Asian) are both white passing and pale and got tons of praise and attention for it.
I don't know how to cope with all this and I don't, tbh, other than to ignore the stupid fucks who spout this shit. Unfortunately, they're all over the internet so it's nearly impossible to avoid.
No. 382251
>>382162I'm half Indonesian/white (some mix of Scottish, Polish, w/e) and for pretty much my entire life I've wished I was the "good" kind of Asian, EA instead of SEA. I've always felt secretly embarrassed by my Indonesian ancestry, the backwards economic conditions of that country, the crazy conservative Muslim population, the ugly language… it's still hard for me not to feel this way. Even my Indonesian family sometimes seem like they have this inferiority complex with their love of Korean and Japanese pop culture, fashion etc. Recently my cousin showed me these hugely popular young Indonesian influencers, and of course they're mixed Chinese and try to look like K-pop stars. My whole life I wished I passed as more mixed EA, and seeing the way people gawk at videos like the one in your screenshot, the way people romanticize and put half Japanese people on a pedestal, it's just so hard not to.
No. 382368
>>382286I disagree. I think it’s more of a phenotype & privilege stacking thing. Which is why half-black women overwhelmingly identify as black because we have advantages in the black community that we don’t get in non-black communities.
Meanwhile mixed women who aren’t mixed with black are way more likely to identify & integrate with their white side.
No. 382384
>>382368I think you're onto something, but I'd add half white/east asian as a group that leans heavily into identifying as
poc, at least among people under 40.
No. 382404
Thanks for this thread
nonnie>>382330I'm a latina quadroon and I have no connection to my black or hispanic side at all. I'm fairly white passing but look a bit off. I was a lot more tan as a kid though and got made fun of for having frizzy hair, body hair, and a big butt in my all-white school. I wasn't the exotic attractive kind of mixed, just the awkward, off-looking kind. White kids were truly awful to me.
But black people feel alien to me since I never grew up around them, and like I can't relate to their struggle growing up semi-white passing and privileged. Part of me wants to get closer to black people, but I just feel like a white apologist larper, and I feel like the ones I've told think I'm lying. If I ended up growing up in a blacker community though I'm sure I'd feel similar to your friend. Sucks to be in between. I'm a lot more self-hating after being on the internet too long as well
No. 382420
>>382384Everyone under 40 identify as
WOC, even white women. Same thing with LGBT, and we all know why.
Anyways it doesn’t refute my point, white/asian girlies are just LARPing and playing the oppression games like everyone else, but the reality is that they’re quite well accepted into white communities and almost always marry into it.
For black/white, or even just black/non-black women, it’s more of a 50/50 thing.
No. 382428
>>382286It kind of happened to me. I always identified more with my asian (maternal) side. My dad is a self hating racist that pretty much denies he is black and I feel that kind of influenced me subliminal to reject my black side to some degree. Nowadays I am more open about it but deep down, I always feel closer to my asian side. My dad is just like the guy in this tiktok.
No. 382941
>>382815And what about it? Contrary to blackistan popular beliefs, mulattas are NOT erasing or replacing black women. In fact, there’s just as many black women as mixed women represented in american / western media.
You know who you barely see? Asian women, half Asian women, MENA women and to a lesser degree latinas.
No. 382951
>>382942For every Zendaya, there’s an Ayo. BWE online spaces only hyper focus on mixed women out of spite.
In fact both black women & half-black women are over represented in western medias.
No. 382979
>>382941What are you talking about lol. Asian females are overrepresented as
woc leads. That’s because they’re seen as the other white meat and the white and Jewish men who fetishize asian women always stick them in their movies and shows, as long as they are paired with a white or Jewish male lead.
No. 383253
File: 1709655449433.jpg (274.62 KB, 1080x1293, legal.jpg)
>be half Ashkenazi, one quarter black, one quarter Iranian
>I look like a regular white girl and my parents opted to give me a white girl name because having a foreign name is a pain in the ass according to my mom
>find out companies obsessed with DEI check people's LinkedIn pictures to make sure they are the race they wanthttps://www.piratewires.com/p/gem-hr-software-dei?f=relatedWell fuck me, I guess. Do I have to dress up like Rachel Dolezal or do I have to bring a print out of my family tree to every job interview?
No. 383256
File: 1709655798247.jpg (449.11 KB, 1080x2002, shit.jpg)
This is going to fuck over racially ambiguous people so hard.
No. 383320
File: 1709670985873.jpg (252.48 KB, 1080x1031, paper.jpg)
>>383253>>383256The most annoying part is that this is going to affect my kids, too. My husband is white so the odds that the kids will be white passing are high. Am I supposed to give them names like Ty'rell and Shakwanda and make them take Jazz lessons to emphasize their minority status?
>>383283Yeah, it's literally a reverse paper bag test. But linkedin isn't to blame, it's Gem that's the problem. And there is no way to get a list of all companies employing their services.
No. 383414
File: 1709726048014.jpg (41.86 KB, 333x500, 511IbsC 3AL.jpg)
>>383355You find it weird, but dolezalmaxxing is a reality for every ambitious minority kid who looks too close to a race that is currently disfavored by diversity officers (white or asian). Do you think smart Phillipinos call themselves Asian when they apply for college? Fuck no, they call themselves Hispanic to get lumped in with the Mexicans on paper.
>>383341>getting passed up for a good job or a promotion because of your skin color is nothingUhhhh
No. 383676
>>383427Kek this. I just burst out laughing at their post. What the fuck? Literally never heard of Filipinos larping as Mexican to get into college.
Btw, Filipino-Americans earn very good money on average, despite most not having a degree.
No. 383709
File: 1709866670582.jpg (42.42 KB, 513x598, images-2.jpg)
Growing up with some japanese blood in me and having a cousin who looks more asian than I do gave me some issues. She's so beautiful and thin, and got very nice mixed features. I'm tall and built or whatever (that's what a friend called me) and look more like my dad who is white/hispanic. If I wipe out the "my grandfather's dad was japanese" shenanigans it'll end in someone calling me a faker and asian fisher idk. Well at least lolcow and /cgl/ always bullied others for this reason so I never got to really express it. I have the retarded x type knees that japanese anime finds kawaii though I guess I'm defective but cute in a skewed way.
I will never call myself asian btw. But I wouldn't lie that I have faced weird comments because /part/ of me is "asian". Both the "have you ever been to Japan and met your relatives" way and the "your last name sounds made up like every other weeb and you're probably faking it" way. Calling myself hispanic is sooo much easier, some hispanic people already have asian features anyway. But I wouldn't lie if I said I wish this part of me wasn't so invalidated. Oh well. I'll keep it hidden some more. Until I get a cringe 23andme test that is kek just kidding please don't bully.
No. 387774
File: 1711545024868.jpg (44.17 KB, 533x678, NINTCHDBPICT000628821377.jpg)
Unpopular opinion: I don't care if someone wants to change their phenotype, as long as they're not attacking people who naturally have those traits, or lying about their ancestry (bc that's weird).
Like, my issue with the Jesy Nelson thing was her letting the actual biracial/black+white girl (Leighanne) in Little Mix get bullied by racists for years without caring, just to try and skinwalk her in the end because looking mixed with black became a "trend". It's nasty.
No. 387791
>>387774The weirder part was when so many people thought she was mixed but not Jade Thirlwall who actually is half Arab.
I think the backlash also comes from racialized features being treated as a "trend" and when they are no longer trendy the "racefishers" can just go back to being white while women who naturally have those features cannot. But also there's a whole conversation to be had about any women's features being treated as trends and most female beauty standards being arbitrary and ever changing markers of social status.
No. 391065
>>383253Why is AI being used for evil purposes?
>>383320No need for klan mentality. As long as you fuck white, your kids will be alright. It’s
POC, especially black people who will suffer in the coming decades. Nerds are getting their lick back
(racebaiting) No. 391328
>>387988aw, i'm sorry nonna. i cannot see that being the case to be honest, because it sounds like a very radical change. the randos at your job not making weird small talk might be society changing in many places and that being seen as rude.
>>382990as someone who has the same phenotype as zendaya, i'm tired of people acting as if she gets treated the same way as monoracial black women do when she clearly looks mixed and gets treated accordingly. the one drop rule in the us is crazy and it's interesting to see how big of a contrast it is compared to the way race is seen in brazil. and i'm not trying to ~distance her from her blackness~ or anything, it's just that she wouldn't be seen as a black woman in the country i have grown up in (not brazil) because she looks stereotypically mixed. and that's a big part of being mixed, your appearance, at least in my experience how you look and how the world treats you according to that.
No. 398866
>>382436This post made me realize that this is a sort of oppression most mixed people seem to face across the board. They bash and bully mixed race people for being "outsiders", take their existence as some kind of dig at their people, and mock them. But then, when it comes to how they want other groups to perceive them, they push mixed people to the front, or emulate their natural features and act like they're the standard. The hapa girl with rounder eyes or different hair gets isolated, but the same girls who excluded or bullied her literally go home and use makeup, wigs, hair dye and editing apps to copy her appearance. Other races do the same. I've even seen some white people do it via mocking certain Mediterraneans with somewhat mixed ancestry for "looking brown" (having darker skin/hair and eyes or bigger noses), then copying their appearances (or even going beyond them) and trying to use them as some kind of shield when people say it's weird.
Granted, I'm seeing this happen less and less these days, but it's been a prevailing trend over the years.
No. 412903
>>399415>>399536>>400091bc then Asians will have to confront their racism/xenophobia/exclusionist lol. when it's white/Asian they can either bask in the whitewashedness or play the
victim card
No. 415665
>>415656I'm glad you're able to connect with some of your family, I hope it goes well. Did it feel weird or natural, at first? How was meeting the family?
Not to be weird because I need to live vicariously through you; I had a similar situation where I was raised by half my family with no contact from the other half. I looked nothing like them and I got a lot of mean and frequently awful racist comments so I always hated my appearance and race (I'm half Asian and look it but for most of my childhood I denied it like crazy and I'd get upset if anyone addressed it, which happened somewhat often).
Unfortunately, I tried to reach out to my father and things didn't work out because he's an asshole so I'll never know what it's like to connect to the other side. I once saw an aunt of mine, I think, in public once and it was such a weird feeling. She didn't say anything to me but she was staring at me really hard with a shocked expression before she ran off. It was this natural, familial familiarity that I've never experienced and unfortunately, never will again.
No. 415679
>>415656Same race mix (I assume you’re half white?) and holy fuck it was also a huge relief to spend time with people from a similar background. I live far away from that half of my bio family but finally made other ndn friends in my 20s and most of my body dysmorphia has slowly evaporated. I’m not a freak or ugly for looking like this, especially when I know and love so many other beautiful Native women now.
Good luck with learning your language, nona. It’s important work.
No. 417841
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>>417827Apart from the obvious (many WMAF couples being misogynistic right wing moids with self hating Asian women, ofc not every single one of them but unfortunately more than enough for a pattern to be noticeable) the WM in WMAF relationships often are way too old to be breeding anymore. Advanced paternal age does matter and is not discussed anywhere near enough.
No. 417845
>>417843Still even then the Asian moid is far less likely to also be an old fart. A lot of "mentally ill" hapas don't just have white fathers but
geriatric white fathers.
No. 417909
>>417827I don't know, I have some issues about being mixed and my mother was the white (well, white Latina, but still) one and my father the Asian one. My half-brother with the same father) is also a total wreck, though I'm not sure if he has racial hang ups so much as general life issues. The other hapa I've known with a similar background also had a ton of issues. The one thing we all had in common is severe daddy issues, ass
>>417843 said, self hating Asian fathers who abandoned us. Though it should be said that my father was at least young when I was conceived.
No. 418018
>>417841I'm a WMAF offspring and in my case it was my Asian mother who was a terrible parent and abandoned me. My father was 25 when he had me so he wasn't geriatric. My only real issue that I have with him is that I hate being out with him in public because people will automatically assume he's my sugar daddy which is disgusting.
Honestly, I think a big predictor of whether you end of mixed and having issues is how attractive you are. My sister was constantly fawned over growing up for looking "exotic" and she's never had a problem making friends with either white or asian people. When we visited China people tried to scout her as a model several times. On the other hand I've never really felt like asian people want to me close to me because they always see me as a "banana" and I also don't have anything cool or exotic about me that interests non-asians.
No. 418129
>>417920I'm from California where there are tons of Latino/white mixes and they don't seem to have the same problems that mixed Asians do. I hate to play into this stereotype, but I do think hapas genuinely seem to have a lot of racial hang ups and personal issues, though the personal issues are likely the result of their parents more than being mixed race. There are a lot of theoretical reasons why, like Asian and Western cultures not meshing well, plus the types of Asians/whites who go after each other.
>>418018Aside from appearance, I think location plays a role too. The better adjusted mixed Asians I've known came from more diverse places.
No. 418881
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>>402169Are you me nona? Tbh I used to have all these issues being a SEA hapa in the lily-white midwest, where the few asians may or may not talk to you, the whites usually have a complex/fetish about blacks, the blacks are mistrusting, and hispanics are the only ones willing to talk to you like a normal person if you have something in common. Everyone is super standoffish if you don't look like you fit neatly into some kinda racial category, and it's depressing to see how many ppl just don't have a personality, and default to surround themselves with copies of themselves. From the outside looking in, it seems like I have to "prove" myself as entertaining, confident or hyper-competent just to get people to be normal around me - which is probably not an exclusive experience to mixed ppl, but I think only mixed ppl have to do it everyday, to everyone. It's really hard to find people able to stand on their own capabilities and interests instead of blending into whatever group they look like.
I've ended up identifying with my white side most of my life, because I wanted to fit in with those around me, and realistically speaking I don't have a lot of my other parent's culture around anyway. I want to enjoy that culture as much as I can, since I've been ignoring it my whole life and there are great things about it. It just sucks ass sometimes, I had to brood a long time to conquer the psychological need to be recognized as belonging somewhere, despite not having a network of people who could model that for me.
And I could've gotten over it faster if so many people weren't incapable of being realized, developed human beings and made a fucking pattern of being friendlier and nicer to me the few times they think I'm their race. Like what is it that I'm missing out on here? How many people are out there effortlessly intermingling with these assholes because you look like you could be their cousin? Not the mixed kind of cousin like me or mine,
really like a cousin. It's very tiring, and the only coping strategy I've found is to be upfront about your racial mix and lead with your personality. I can't opt out of looking like me, so I have to blacklist even the unconscious-bias racists just to survive professionally and find
a community.
No. 419090
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Do any of you nonas feel like you look weird due to your racial background? I genuinely look like a randomized sim, like objectively. My facial features clash together strangely which makes me look racially ambiguous in an uncanny valley sort of way. People have always found me cute though, so I don't have a negative relationship with my appearance, I just look a bit off. Maybe it's that I've just never seen anyone who has the same combo of facial features as me? I also have ginger hair with lose curls which adds another layer to not really looking like anyone else (not even my parents kek).
No. 419178
>>419090yes im half nordic half mena living in another Northern European country so I don't really see anyone who looks like me and I feel kind of odd, most people here are either very clearly blonde and white, or very clearly brown. but i kind of just look like a spicy white girl which is rare phenotype here.
weirdly I see a lot of Ukrainian and balkan girls who look a lot like me, maybe because they're nordic/slav mixed with greek/turk, so they have a similar mixture of northern and southern features. I am not complaining, I like how I look, but people tend to get mad when they can't place where im from.
No. 422097
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Does any else see their friends drifting away into racially homogenous groups? And they post leftist pics/memes on social media but their entire circle is practically an ethnostate? Idk, I just noticed that as I've gotten older, the friends I had from school slowly dropped all the friends they had from other races and they expect me to agree with their trendy politics just because I'm a minority woman. For example, my friend I've known the longest has stopped hanging out with any black/hispanics and keeps ditching me but consistently hangs out with white friends. Like, I'd understand we're growing apart but I can see another pattern happening here, bitch. And her social media has reblogs/shares from lefty bs like tranny acceptance or beauty standards but nothing that's actually important, like abortion access and didn't even know it was banned in our state.
I know the friendship is basically dead in the water now, but when you're mixed, it's so hard to find and maintain literally any kind of relationship with someone. Why is it so hard for women to just fucking talk to another woman of a different race and give a shit about them as a person? Do I need to move to the fucking West Coast?
No. 422102
>>419090>>419186Me too, I'm Romani mixed with Nordic kek. Unfortunately I just look like a slightly paler Romani person and get treated accordingly. There's lots of beggars from the Balkans here in the summer and that's when things get really bad, I'm sure the fact that I tan very quickly doesn't help either.
>>419090I don't think I look weird necessarily since I look exactly like my mom but I don't look like I belong in any larger group. Both of my parents are natives in my country but my mom and I are never treated as such. At least immigrants usually have other immigrants and people from their country to befriend but for me it's always just been my mother and nobody else. What also breaks my heart is that my mom told me how every compliment came with an asterisk since she could remember. As in "you're pretty, for a gypsy" or "you're hard working, for a gypsy".
No. 423114
>>419090i don't think i look like either of my parents. my dad is turkish and ukrainian mother so i just ended up looking sort of balkan with coloring between theirs, but also i just think my facial features aren't in common with either of theirs and i'm like "wtf where did my face come from." i've been told i dont look like my parents by like everyone my whole life (and yes they are my real parents.) one time when i was a kid some stranger thought my dad was kidnapping me kek. i live in czechia so i see a ton of slavic looking people, and i see my mom's face in them, but not my own. when i spent time in turkey i saw my dad's face in everyone but not my own. it's weird.
my eye shape used to bug me a lot because it's not my mom's nor dad's eye shape, but i saw pictures of my paternal grandma (who died before i was born) and i realized i have her eyes. that was a nice thing to realize kek.
i also feel super weird calling myself middle eastern because i look white, but my dad is very unambigiously brown. i hold a turkish passport also but not a ukrainian one kek. i speak both languages and my friend group in czechia are ukrainian/russian/post soviet russian speakers, and in turkey just normal turks. i feel like i go back and forth between feeling more slavic and more turkish, depending on where im spending time and what im speaking. i never feel like both at once but i end up having to lean into one side or the other, and it feels somewhat like a larp either way
No. 426062
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Just dropping this here for any Wasian nonas, this account posts Wasian related content that might make you feel seen