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No. 380577

A thread for all nonas of Middle Eastern, Arab or North African ethnicity to discuss topics pertaining to being a MENA woman. A place to chat, vent, share, ask and give advice or discuss problems pertaining to being a MENA woman. All religions and nationalities welcome to post, as long as you are of MENA ethnicity.

No. 380580

Does anyone have any experience with travelling to Korea and Japan as a hijabi? Did you have any racist/Islamophobic experiences there? I’ve been told it’s pretty safe because they’re so used to tourists from SEA wearing hijab, but I’m a little anxious. I’ve been watching some Muslimah influencers go to East Asian countries and they said they didn’t really have any problems. Am I just being stupid? I’m watching this Muslimah travel to Korea.


No. 380593

I'm dying at the thread pic

No. 380609

Moroccans are basically french muslims at this point

No. 380631

Why? It’s cute af.

No. 380633

I think it’s nice she’s doing a video on her heritage and trying to get back in touch with her roots, rather than pretending she’s white and denouncing all connections to her background like so many ethnic celebrities and streamers sadly do to appease their American audience.

No. 380638

Because hijabi sailor scouts are funny to me, that's why

No. 380641

how do you guys convince your parents to let you study abroad? I qualify for a scholarship to study at my dream university abroad but my parents wouldn't allow me and i tried to reason with them but its impossible, they wouldnt even let me step outside the house without me being leeshed to them like a dog and im now an adult just because im a woman yet my brother basically moved out of our house at like 15 he does whatever he wants and gets whatever he wants and my parents spoil him rotten. is there a way to reason with someone who cant be reasoned with?
my mom is mainly the one opposing it because she thinks its taboo for a girl to travel or go outside by her self and it would cause the familys reputation to be ruined

No. 380644

Just go and dont tell them

No. 380645

just leave. please. you don’t have to convince anyone

No. 380652

I wonder how long it will take until this thread goes to shit.
What country are you from? You can give her a list of women from your country that studied abroad. Talk with other family members and see if they could help. How old are you? You sound like you’re talking about going to undergrad, tell your teachers and maybe set up a meeting with them.

Might sound a bit mean but if it’s just your mum opposing you then just ignore her, if your dad has no issues then go study.

No. 380736

My best friend has been to Korea in a hijab and said she had the time of her life. I’m not sure about Japan because I’ve heard nationalistic and xenophobic sentiment is increasing a lot there towards all foreigners, but in general I think you’re way less likely to be attacked for your religion in Japan than if you lived in America or something. Some people might say rude stuff about you but the chances of confronting or physically attacking you for wearing a headscarf are very low there.

No. 380752

It's not possible because my father has to sign a form for the scholarship and hes refusing because my mom told him no even tho he himself is ok with it.
i was able to reason with my father because he can be reasoned with but not my mother
UAE, i'm 18 years old. and i dont have any family members to speak to because they live far away and if i try to message them they would ignore me.

Have you done this before? because I mainly want to hear from women with strict middle eastern parents on how they dealt with this.
I don't really have friends(from a similar background at) or relatives I could speak to

No. 380759

Maybe they’re just worried for your safety. There’s a lot of risks with a religious sheltered naive girl travelling abroad, living in a different country and being surrounded by horny adolescent moids. I knew a few foreign student girls who ended up getting raped in the dorms because they were naive and didn’t realize the type of situations that moids lure women into like that. You’ll probably have to come to some kind of compromise with them, like agreeing to videocall them everyday to letting them know you’re safe or sending them regular pictures of your location and such. Or finding a Muslima girlfriend to go with and agreeing with both your parents that you’ll look out for each other.

No. 380766

Tbh I also kinda do this at this point, I feel no connection with my background, even though I don't live in Europe, so I would just tell people I'm white because that's how I pass as. My parents are from different Middle eastern countries/cultures and I hate getting asked where I'm from because I feel like I don't know. I feel estranged from my background and culture even though the cultural differences aren't as drastic and one world a way as moroccan culture vs french culture. I don't understand being born in like a completely different continent and still feeling somewhat connected to your background while I'm still living in the same region I was born in and feel no connection whatsoever.

No. 380775

You sound self hating

No. 380784

Does anyone know where I can meet more hijabi girls and make friends? I used to have a big friendship circle of Muslim girls but I moved to another city and I miss them so much I want to cry. I have no idea where I can meet more Muslim women in my age range, as most of my friends were from school/uni.

No. 380847

Japan is safe. Watch this from 4:15


No. 380850

have you been to japan yourself?

No. 380862

I don’t blame her

No. 380877

As for my safety, I have not chosen to study in the USA or France because I have heard that these are unsafe places for MENA women, the city I will be in has a very low crime rate.
However, Isolating myself from the world will not protect me and will only make me more vulnerable and unsafe when my parents are not around to shelter me because you know, my parents are not immortal.

My mom is concerned that I will somehow become "unmarriagable" because if a girl goes outside or travels by herself, then she will somehow become tainted and less "pure" because it means that flies or packs of wolves (men) have gotten to her. She has very flawd logic and is stuck in a puritanical mindset which means that my logical arguments wont have an effect on her.
also wth that is also terrifying. Were they under the influence of drugs or alcohol? I am terrified of that happening, so I am going to make sure not to trust any men. I am also going to try to make sure that I have all-female dorms to minimize the risk of that happening.
I genuinely do not know how to deal with men or interact with them because I have been to all-girls schools my whole life and have not even interacted with male relatives. The only guys I can talk to comfortably are effeminate gay men online. I am also a bit comfortable talking to a guy when he thinks I am a guy too. For some reason, when I am talking to a man online, he is chill until he finds out that I am not male, then his behavior or attitude changes, even when I am talking about normal stuff like a video game or what type of music I like. I do not know why their attitude changes so drastically, but I hate it; it is like they do not see me the same anymore. Why is it such a big deal that I do not have a penis?
Thank you so much for these good suggestions. The problem is that my parents are technologically illiterate lmao… It would be a really difficult task to teach them these things. One still uses a Nokia dumbphone. The last suggestion is also good, but the issue is that I am scared of befriending religious Muslim girls because I am not really religious myself. When a past Muslim friend found that out, they ended up turning against me, which is why I struggle with making friends with people from the same background as me because people of such background take religion more seriously and I have this fear that they will be upset or offended and turn against me when they find out. I have a difficult time interacting with people or making friends, but I hope that when I am at university away from home, I will not only get a better education but also learn how to interact with people and develop my social skills because I was not allowed to hang out with anyone outside of school, and we had very short lunch breaks so a couple of minutes of eating lunch with someone did not feel like socialization to me. When I moved schools, I could not befriend anyone at my new school. I am extremely socially stunted…

No. 381190

Where are you studying nona?

No. 381476

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are there any same sex attracted MENA nonnies here ? i've spoken to some anons about it before but since this is a dedicated thread i thought i'd reopen the discussion.

>where are you from and what's your experience like ?

i'm from morocco and although i'm not open about it and not even that GNC (except in middle school) i still got bullied relentlessly in school for being gay from primary school to the time i finished highschool. i was an internet addicted "otaku" outcast, but it was probably my malehating i never grew out of kek, but otherwise i never expressed attraction to other girls and was careful not to by the time i knew what being gay was and the consequences i could face if anybody caught me admitting to it in any way. copying things (never interpersonal) i would see in the media to create elaborate lies and continue the larp on my facebook just to save face and it didn't work kek. i guess there are just some things people can smell off of you before you know to express it yourself. maybe i was a terrible liar and the insincerity was blinding kek.
>are you out to anyone ?
right now i'm out to three girls i trust and i don't think i could have any more people knowing that about me. sometimes i wish i could just scream it from the rooftops and just be out and free, but unfortunately that will never be possible. it's a really lonely and isolating experience, but i've come to accept that this is just the way that it is. i really feel like i'm always lying to my parents and family, especially in moments where they're nice to and affectionate towards me, and i live in intense fear of them finding out. feelsbad even trying to know people because the default is just homophobia and yet despite accepting that it still hurts to know that you're subhuman to them if they knew the truth. sometimes i fantasize about having the money to live abroad where i can be free and away from people that know me, then being disowned wouldn't matter.
>how did you find out that you were SSA/lesbian ?
i think my homosexuality is something i always felt, despite being born to a religious family i still never felt any type of way about my preference for girls growing up, i was just indifferent, i didn't think about it, i just knew in the back of my head that i did. i did typical things like making my girl toys kiss and eventually fuck, rewatch music videos of female popstars or clips of celebrities i really liked until i felt like i had to pee, pretend to be a guy in online games to get gfs etc by the time i was a tween i just told myself that maybe when i'll reach puberty i will finally start seeing what's so attractive about moids and when i reached that stage i never did kek. i tried to lie to myself and repress my homosexuality by denying myself any sexuality at all, but i just couldn't and started being honest with myself because it's not something that can just go away if you ignore it, and i haven't looked back since. i never felt actual "comphet" or any real pressure to be heterosexual, i just didn't want people to know that i wasn't.
>how do you deal with religion ?
i guess i still have faith in god's existence but idk about the other things anymore. it's weird. i only practice cultural customs like ramadan, or only ramadan kek and the other dietary restrictions.
>have you been in any relationships before and how was that like ?
i'm a permavirgin autist and i'm too nervous to download a dating app of any kind in fear of being outed. there have been anons from the same region as me who have told me that they've had success on tinder and facebook but i can't bring myself to put anything about me out there…
>is there some sort of community where you live ?
not that i know of but honestly i'm so sheltered and basically live as a troglodyte so there might be one i am not aware of. each of my friends in different universities tell me that they have SSA friends that are borderline out, i've met bisexuals girls before too but we were teenagers at the time so i don't know if it was just an act of adolescent edgelord rebellion or legitimate same sex attraction, but i can't know for sure.

No. 381583

I sometimes wonder If I don't count as straight because I somehow only get attracted to close friends or some one I feel I have a connection with, so like even if there was a male supermodel in the room, I wouldnt be attracted to them, i would just admire how pretty or handsome they are for a moment but i wouldnt feel anything towards them. and also im turned off by masculinity in some way?? like the only guys id find physically attractive are femboys or skinny guys with long hair and high pitched voices and no facial hair and a generaly soft appearance. the moment a guy grows a beard, cuts his hair or gets muscular im immediately turned off by him and repulsed.
i might have caught feelings for close female friends but i didnt think of them in a sexual way, but im also generally repulsed by sex though. like i genuinely find it disgusting but i wonder if im this way because i went to all female schools my whole life and had no contact with guys and not even any male relatives. the only ones i interacted with i spoke to them online.

No. 381587

Ntayrt but this is so straight and if you ever actually wondered about it then you would go to the questioning thread to see all the responses to anons who made posts exactly like yours and see that you are a bog-standard heterosexual whose perception of sexuality got skewed by media depictions of hookup culture. Needing an emotional connection before catching feelings is normal and doesn't indicate anything about sexual orientation.

No. 381592

thanks although I've caught romantic feelings towards like close female friends does that mean anything? but I wonder if I'm asexual as well because while I might get feelings towards certain ppl or crushes i would not actually rly wanna date them or do anything sexual? but id fantasize about things though

No. 381593

forgot to mention that while i wouldnt wanna date anyone who im not close friends with, like i see romantic relationships basically as close friendships but with extra steps because while i would not date anyone who i wouldnt enjoy a friendship with im also scared that if i confess my feelings for someone it would also destroy the relationship because relationships are more likely to fail than friendships and it would be sad if a connection i valued so much failed just coz of a crush and i would never get to speak to them ever again

No. 381602

I'm originally from a north african country too, but I have managed to leave not long ago. I lived through the exact same thing (and still kinda am) back when I lived there. I once gathered the courage to download tinder and got a warning that said my location was dangerous to homosexuals so I noped out kek.
Ironically, what complicates it in my case is that I have genuinely good parents but they are religious. They would probably never try to hurt me but it would be a shock big enough to physically hurt them. (One of them has heart issues related to shock). I decided leaving was the only option, I only have to keep up the facade when I call or visit, for now. It'll get harder if I'm dating a woman and they visit me, but I'd rather not think about that for now, since I'm single.
The hardest part by far is the isolation, which was bad enough in my home country, but in my rush to leave I didn't think about how lonely being an immigrant is, let alone a lesbian one. I'm different from people who grew up here, I'm different because I'm gay, and even if I try reaching out to the "community", it's full of gender crap which is the same fanatical ideological BS I lived through with islam just with a rainbow coat. Sometimes it feels likes there's no place for us in the world.
Sorry for the depressing blog post, I am hopeful that things will get better one day. I also hope you manage to find a way to leave! The student route is the easiest, everyone I know left this way so you should look into it. You can even "cheat" by borrowing money to get the visa, then get a student job here. No need to have the full sum they ask

No. 381609

Sometimes I feel lucky that I feel no connection towards my parents because they're terrible people. Coming out to parents that you actually love and care about is way harder than coming out to parents that are abusive and you feel no connection with because you're concerned with upsetting them. I thought about getting married to a girl while abroad and sending my mom pics of me kissing my wife at my wedding because she always told me "no man will ever want you".

No. 382067

File: 1709123415380.jpeg (1.21 MB, 1189x2147, 258209F0-9474-4AA5-9FE9-E7AEC6…)

Being Arab and lesbian is a special kind of hell. Queer MENA people are braver than any US marine.

No. 382070

I think the closest thing to a hijab is a leash. Just replace the word hijab with leash in your mind and everything will make sense.

No. 382288

I like wearing a hijab. Men aren’t entitled to see my flesh.

No. 382289

There are so many ultra rich Arab girls at my college in London and it’s making me feel bad, as a poor Muslim girl. All their parents are paying their 100K tuition up front meanwhile I’m dreading paying back student loans. They all drive to school in Bugattis and Lambos and I literally cycle to uni everyday. They come into class with perfectly styled shiny hair and makeup, expensive beautiful designer outfits made of silk and high heels and shit with extremely expensive Birkin and Prada bags and meanwhile I can barely afford to eat. They’ve all had a ton of plastic surgery too and somehow pull it off and look pretty with it. It’s hard not to feel bitter and jealous. I wish I could call up my dad whenever I have a problem and instantly get 50 grand deposited in my account for whatever I need too.

No. 382292

laughs in Lebanese

No. 382326

I’m not even religious and I still wear my hijab. You aren’t entitled to see womens bodies in public, I know it makes you seethe.

No. 382327

I noticed on some Muslim dating sites there’s an option where you can just look for female friends. Obviously you should videocall with them and stuff before meeting up to make sure they aren’t catfish. Those sites aren’t actually that bad for meeting new people tbh and it’s a relief not having to wade through a sea of mentally ill trannies like I did when I was trying to find friends through bumble and stuff. Also, I want to find a Muslim husband but I’m not attracted to the men in my own country really, so I was looking at some of them from countries where I find the men attractive and there were some pretty cute guys on there, but I’m hesitant to message them or meet any men from online. I’d probably bring a friend with me to chaperone or something.

No. 382331

Why do women who willingly wear hijabs are always such nlogs, lmao(infighting)

No. 382332

i knew someone would come along and try to infight + derail the thread. reminder not to respond to bait posts.

No. 382361

Idk if there are any Lebanese nonnies here but the social pressure to conform is insane. I met a really nice Lebanese girl and she told me her mum more or less bullied her into getting a nose job, which according to her is normal.
I want to find normie Arab gay people. Every gay person I know is basically westernised, I might as well be talking to a tumblr blogger.

Closest thing was one girl who ever since she started dating an enbie has become a TIF herself.

That's one thing I like about dating apps in MENA, women mostly use it with the intention of looking for friends which obviously drives men insane when they match with women. Also some of them are so innocent they set it to just women, I'll never forget when my lesbian friend handed me her phone and had me swiping literally most are just straight women looking for friends you just can't hate it.

No. 382439

Liberal or less religious Muslim countries are worse for pressuring women into beauty standards imo. Turkey and Lebanon are very shallow places where women are expected to look like white bimbo pornstars, same in Iran. Compare that to Pakistan or UAE, where far less Muslim women feel pressure to get plastic surgery.

No. 382440

Also reminds me of the news story where a British pornstar called Candy Charms travelled to Iran for more plastic surgery. None of the border guards or police questioned her despite her having ridiculously huge breast implants and lips, because they’re so used to Iranian women with that bimbo look and she actually just passed as a local Tehran woman. There were Iranian commenters saying stuff like ‘We have so many women here who look like pornstars that we missed a real pornstar coming to Iran’. That’s how normalized plastic surgery and bimbofication is in these Shia countries.

No. 382485

Pakistan is probably because of poverty.
In the UAE women do get plastic surgery, idk if it's on the same level as Lebanon.
Probably has to do with how European obsessed people are.

No. 382514

>Where am I?
Not in the Middle East or North Africa.

No. 382518

Honestly sounds like India. Iran?

No. 382521

Being a MENA girl cockblocked by your family while in a western country is so fucking frustrating. You can't really relate to people your age because they're busy partying and having fun while you can't.

No. 382527

Living the same life. I'm 24, never dated, still a virgin, don't have many friends because my family are convinced my friends will lead me down the wrong path even though they're normal people and not party animals or anything. I'm going to either die alone or married to someone my mother wants me to.

No. 382544

same nona, same

No. 382563


No. 382594

Imaginaryland because you just made that whole thing up.

No. 382597

This doesn't apply to any country this just applies to whatever bubble you're in. You're definitely upper class and generalising over your whole country, assuming this isn't just a creative writing exercise.

No. 382623


No. 382651

Gonna throw out a wild card, Azerbaijan?

No. 382652

American LARPing as an oppressed Muslim woman

No. 382656

muslim women have such good lifes too, wokie

No. 382676

Nailed it kek

No. 382713

Lol calm your tits. Oppressed Muslim women exist but that post is clearly a larp for internet pity points.

No. 383193

File: 1709626051184.jpg (70.24 KB, 851x510, edwardsaid.jpg)

Not a single place MENA women can exist online without getting ridiculous amounts of hate and racebaiting, huh? Honestly wish there was some sort of discord server or lc alternative with race verification to prevent this kind of shit.

As an arab woman I have nowhere that isn't infested with westernized she/theys who will tone police you if you talk about your experiences. I was foolish to think lolcow was any better.

No. 383288

This thread seems very tame compared to the constant sperging in the black girl thread

No. 383345

Honestly yeah I'm actually surprised.
Not a lot of self-hating nonnies or people losing it because you dared to have the opinion of an average MENA woman or LC anon.

Tbh it's a lot of wishful thinking coming to LC hoping to find a somewhat mentally stable and sane community for MENA women.
What kind of thread or community were you hoping for?
That first part now makes a lot of sense

No. 383804

in the UAE it depends if its in dubai (prostitute concentration camp) or other Emirates. in Other emirates its less rampant but I still had 2 girls in my 12th grade class with lip fillers and nose jobs and its kinda sad, also I'm pale and a blond arab and was seen as a 10/10 before my hair darkened even tho I'm not that pretty in other countries and there were girls with dark
hair and darker features who looked prettier than me but people paid less attention to them just because they didnt look white. its pretty dumb. I hate how eurocentric beauty standards are poisoning our minds.

No. 383806

id rather be dead than be married to some goblin my mom chose at this point.
Im 19 and im living like this and i cant imagine living like this till 24 im contemplating just ending it. how do u manage?

No. 383823

Ayrt; I just hope I'll be able to get my life to a point one day where I'll be able to move away, and cope by reading the stories on r/ForeverAloneWomen or some of the threads here of people who managed to get into healthy relationships with loving partners after being single their whole lives. And I try to remember that for everyone like me who is sad about being lonely, there are just as many women sad because they're in a toxic relationship. And there's the usual things about mindfulness and being grateful for the little things. As corny as it is, romanticising things like a vibrant sunset or how pretty my earrings look after I put them on does make me feel better, even if only for five minutes. Plus I have more time to myself to learn new hobbies and skills that I might not have if I were putting time and energy into a relationship

No. 383889

France is safe for MENA women if you are MENA but not muslim (my case for example) or at least not a hijaboo. They're tired of this and it's understandable. The unsafe part is mainly from islamists men or MENA men in general, not your average weak french dude.

No. 383890

holy shit nonnie we are living the same life rn. i just moved to france, while i feel more attached to european culture than my north african culture (bc my parents are more open minded and wanted to teach me my neighbors cultures), i still feel alone as an immigrant lesbian. and i had the same experience in my homeland country with tinder, i still tried to match some girls there but most of them were also scared or were gendie(which was ???? so upsetting??) but now in France i see gendies everywhere, or bihets. i still cant know how lesbian joy feels.

No. 383892

why do this post feels like it has been made by a gendie?

No. 383954

"queer" gives it away kek

No. 383973

especially w the muzzie girls kissing with their hijab which gives off fetishization (especially men and gendies who fetishize them)

No. 383977

I reported that post for newfaggotry awhile ago, but it seems like she didn't get a ban kek

No. 384171

AYRT Damn there are gendies in NA now? It's so over man. I was lucky enough not to meet any when I was living there. But yeah France is already infested, I keep seeing literal Hons whenever I try going to "lesbian" events btw if you're in or near Paris maybe we could meet up! I put an address in the email field if you're interested

No. 384244

Lebanona here, yeah being “bullied” by family to get a nose job is the norm. it was a part of my graduation gift kek.

No. 384939

Me and my friend group have more or less parted ways over this issue I guess. I'm not sure why they stopped talking to me but they're all gendies now and keep finding other gendies in the country it's kind of amazing lol.

No. 402716

How do you guys deal with the misogyny from your dad/mom? Being expected to do more housework, and being overall blamed and shamed for existing?

The other time, my mom was saying, about an annoying boss "if she'sa woman, it's because she's on her periods, if it's a guy, it's because his wife pissed him off"
It was a light conversation, I jokingly replied "that's misogynistic, why is it always the woman's fault?"
And she replied "well it is Eve who ate the forbidden fruit"

And it echoed in me. My whole childhood and to this day, I feel like I've been blamed and shamed for things I did much more than my brother. If my brother broke something or misbehaved at school, it was quickly forgotten, whereas I keep hearing about mistakes I did when I was 12 to this day.
It's like, as a woman, my mistakes define me ; but him as a man, his mistakes are just accidents.

I feel like this misogyny is exacerbated in MENA families.

No. 402718

I’m white and the men in my family would say similar things when I was growing up. I guess it’s worse in mena families because most men follow the Quran or Torah and misogyny is totally allowable and justified in those books, but other cultures have similar misogyny, wherever men are there will be misogyny in general I think.

No. 402845

How did you deal with getting bullied into cosmetic surgery? My parents did the same by ganging up on me over summer break and asking me 24/7 why I didn't want the surgery for months on end until I gave in. I know giving in after a few months was retarded but I was kind of broken down from when they bullied me into getting moles lasered off a bunch of times before and all the verbal and emotional abuse.
I thought my family was reasonably progressive deep down despite all the misogyny they threw at me and my mom, but that event where my mom joined in and even took it as an opportunity to get the same procedure kind of broke me for a few years. I don't know if I still want them in my life anymore and I ghost them a lot (I'm fortunate enough to be living away from them with my brother).

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