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File: 1720580581855.jpeg (249.49 KB, 1827x1217, marriage.jpeg)

No. 413280

Have you ever noticed that society pressures women to get married in a fairly organized way that seems to come from powerful people in the upper echelons? This pressure comes through mass media channels such as bachelor TV shows, religious institutions and talking heads on the news, so you know it's not organic.
At the same time, there's no cultural pressure on men to get married. They sometimes face pressure from their families, but never from mass media. If anything, the media subtly tells men not to get married, portraying married men as henpecked and defeated in TV shows and movies. This subtle messaging comes from media that both men and women watch. The male-oriented media that women don't usually watch much of is 100% anti-marriage, for example male-oriented podcasters like Rogan are constantly telling their followers not to get married.
What are society's opinion leaders trying to do by giving women and men such radically opposed messages about marriage? It can't be that they're sincerely trying to get the marriage rate up, because if they were doing that, they'd give men the same pro-marriage talking points they give women.
Call me paranoid, but I wonder if this is all orchestrated by men trying to give themselves an advantage. If you get all the women desperate for marriage and get all the men hesitant to marry, you end up with a situation where men can persuade women to marry them while offering next to nothing. The media conditioning gives them the confidence to walk away from the table. But it doesn't actually cause more people to get married, assuming that's the goal of all this brainwashing (I'm pretty sure it isn't).

No. 413282

Men are biologically worthless so they peddle the idea of proposals and marriage as being desirable to women to keep their value artificially inflated. Scroteflation is a real thing. It’s also probably a large scale marketing ploy by jewellery/diamond companies: similar to men, diamonds are actually common and worthless but their value is kept artificially inflated.

No. 413283

I’ve never understood why marriage is shilled as something women should strive for. A woman needs a 200lb, porn addicted, horny, solipsistic, overgrown infant with anger and emotional regulation issues living under her roof like she needs a hole in the head.

I’ve noticed that men get extremely angered by single mothers, lesbians and single women in general. Incels for instance absolutely seethe over the existence of single moms and spinsters, even though those men probably will never marry either. Incels, despite claiming marriage is a scam for men, still shill for women to get married, because they still see it as an archaic contract where a woman submits to a man. Even if a woman is married to a man who isn’t him, as long as she is ‘taken’, men are happy.

My guess is it’s just a giant moid psyop designed to control women. Every woman who isn’t chained to a scrotum is a free agent, a threat to a patriarchal system, who might lead other women astray and help them realize they don’t actually need a man to live or be happy. Btw, barely any women get alimony.

No. 413291

>>413283
I had the unfortunate experience on a vacation of having to spend several days hanging out with an old passport bro moid who was college friends with my parents, who had like 3 failed marriage attempts with 30years younger Thai women who bailed the second they realized he was more broke than they were. Despite this repeated proof that he was literally worthless to women except as a wallet he continued to mald about literally any woman he saw out in public with kids, whining about 'single moms' and 'moms on benefits' lmao. I kept asking him why he thinks the woman out with kids in the middle of the day is single and not just a trad SAHM like what he thinks is the ideal and he never had an answer but just screeched more. It's obvious what these men are actually angry about is that a woman reproduced with a man who wasn't them, and their screeching about the downfall of society or whatever has nothing to do with 'single motherhood' at all but the fact that they weren't chosen as the father.

My mom once told me (years earlier) that she's pretty sure this moid is deadly jealous of my dad that my dad had a kid and he didn't, and I'm starting to think that is the real reason moids get so angry about this. They approach the age where they realize they're not going to reproduce or lock down a bangmaid and get extremely, extremely angry at women that they chose someone other than (moid in question) to date, marry, or have babies with. Then they project their own pathetic loneliness on women they wish would marry them and tell them to marry quick or else all the good moids will be gone!! even though it's pathetic leftover moids screeching the hardest about this, not women.

No. 413293

its simple, if marriage was a good deal for women they wouldn't need to play a bunch of mind games to convince them they need marriage. Majority of women who don't want marriage do so because they actively experience crap marriages and how men act

No. 413294

I always felt like at least in hyper-religious cultures theres a lot of pressure on both sides (male and female) to marry/reproduce. Marrying your daughter off the way that families used to isn't the same as it was 90 years ago here in burgerland but i know that there are some countries that still practice arranged marriage

No. 413296

>>413294
A lot of the countries that currently practice arranged marriage have surplus moids, so it's in the moid's parents' interest to marry him off because otherwise he might end up alone. Whereas for the women they theoretically have more choices, but are still pressured to marry the first moid their parents pick out for them.

No. 413297

>>413296
you mean pressured like forced to go out with him and get to know him or pressured like obnoxiously encouraged

No. 413298

>>413297
Probably depends on the culture and family tbh? For the people I know in arranged marriages I don't think it was 'forced' per se but these were women who kind of grew up knowing they would be expected by their parents to do this eventually, and I'm not sure exactly what implicit threats are in that expectation in families that don't outright force their daughters but I think there are some. Even if it's just 'you will bring shame to your family if this doesn't work' or 'you expect us to keep financially taking care of you?' I think a lot of cultures that still practice arranged marriage assume the intrinsic worth and agency of women/daughters is lower than the intrinsic worth and agency of sons, even if in reality daughters are rarer than sons and are likely to have careers of their own, so parents are still operating on these assumptions that they need to pawn off their daughter ASAP on a moid even if they're not strictly speaking true.

No. 413302

Men get pressured to have a partner in general. Single men are fucking losers. At least as a single woman you can embrace the whole “I’m focusing on myself” thing.

No. 413311

>>413302
nah theres plenty of taken men who are totally worthless

No. 413313

Idk I'm late twenties, single and don't really recognize this pressure you talk about. Like yeah I'm asked somewhat frequently if I have a boyfriend or when I'm going to get a boyfriend which gets annoying sometimes, but pressure for marriage specifically? No. I don't consume a lot of media though if you're exclusively talking about media pressure here.

No. 413317

>>413302
I think they are pressured to have sex rather than having a partner in general. In many conservative cultures or communities sex before marriage is still very frowned upon so they usually marry to get that + free cleaning and cooking services since they are jumping from their mother to the wife that takes care of them because they weren't taught jack shit about cooking or housekeeping growing up.

No. 413319

>not fat
>have my own place (mortgaged)
>virgin
My quality of life would take a nosedive even if I got a bf, let alone thinking about husband. I often think about getting a sham marriage just for the gift registry.

No. 413331

>>413319
>My quality of life would take a nosedive even if I got a bf
True. Living with a man is a chore.

No. 413337

I've always thought getting married was embarrassing and could never fathom why a woman would consider it the happiest day of her life, the mere idea of being called someone's "wife" makes me want to barf.

No. 413343

>>413280
I come from a country with a more conservative culture but live with my parents in the US now, and I don't get pressured by them to marry or move out. At most, my grandma living in that country may ask if I have a boyfriend. I can understand this being more of an issue with certain cultures or in certain countries, but I feel a sense of freedom here. Maybe I don't consume the specific media that showcases this pressure, but I disregard it. From what I see online, a lot of women are becoming more and more independent while men whine and complain about how women are "bitches" and how they can't find a "respectable" woman to date. Gee, wonder why.

No. 413413

I’m not even in my late 20s and my grandma is scared I’m going to be “left on the shelf”. I’m happy, healthy, in shape, college-educated, renting with friends, travelling frequently, succeeding in my field and saving up to buy my own place in the next 5-10 years, but all she cares about is that I might not get picked. Meanwhile my youngest uncle, who is rounding the corner on 50, dropped out of high school, has been in the same dead-end call centre job for 15+ years, can’t drive, lives in a rented converted garage, spends whatever cash he has left at raves and strip clubs, and has a drug problem bad enough that he drops E at family weddings, is a total catch and just has to find a nice girl. Once you realise the only people who will judge you for never entertaining a moid are old women, middle-aged men and literal children, it becomes a way more palatable option.

No. 413421

In my mid twenties, never dated and don't feel like I'm missing out. Most men are ugly, broke and lazy and I'm not going to go through hoops trying to find the rare ones who aren't when I'm comfortable without one.
Love only having to clean up after myself, not being afraid of a moid trying out some weird porn moves on me without my consent, having no chance of being accidentally knocked up, and having my space to myself instead of being forced to share it even when I want to be alone. Only downside is my mother constantly telling me to get a boyfriend and women in general just being weird about my lack of love life.

No. 413422

>>413283
>>413291
They hate women regardless of their relationship status. If she's single, then she's a whore who's going to hit the wall, blah blah. If she's married, they predict she'll become a single mother. They are just malding that all these women would never be with them or procreate with them.

No. 413429

>>413421
I agree with you, I say this as someone who is in a long term relationship and currently miserable. Even my grandma told me getting married is a waste of time and she wishes she hadn’t spent her entire healthy years picking up after my grandpa.

No. 413430

>>413413
I feel for you nonna, not so much my grandma but my mom was obsessed with if I was going to get married as soon as I turned like 21 or 22 and keeps calling me middle aged since I turned 30. I am glad a lot of nonnas here don't feel pressure to get married but I got pretty intense pressure from my mom and some other family members who would definitely not treat a male the same way. One of my great aunts kept bugging me about marriage while her son who is several years older than me has been in a live-in baby daddy unmarried relationship for like 8 years lmao. I know several other women who want their sons to stay unmarried and 'date around' for as long as possible, keep telling them 'you have time, there might be a better woman out there' but were overjoyed to get their daughters married off before 30. I definitely think there is a pressure for a lot of women but it might not be the same everywhere or in every family. Ironically most women I know who waited later to marry ended up being less enthused about the idea while men were desperate to lock them down so the 'left on the shelf' thing is funny to me, my bff's boyfriend basically tried to propose to her like a year ago and she just brushed him off and said she'll 'have to think about it' and has never addressed it for the last year because she's 'not sure if she's into marriage' and the guy is still simping for her. This is why women are pressured to marry young I think, because as they age they realize it might not benefit them or start to be more cautious about the prospect while moids are desperate to lock them down.

No. 413432

>>413430
I’m glad my grandma hates men and tells me not to waste my time on them. I’m just sad that she had to learn the hard way that it’s a lot of work for nothing in the end, except maybe the kids if you really love them.

No. 413433

>>413429
You should get out of the miserable relationship entirely, nonna… you definitely should not consider marrying someone who makes you miserable.

>>413432
My grandma is the opposite, her marriage was happy and loving overall (I think they had some rough patches when they were younger but they were long over them by the time I was born) but she constantly complains that having kids is nothing but struggle and suffering lmao. My grandparents seemed like a very healthy relationship model my whole life but neither ever pressured me to marry, meanwhile people who did pressure me to marry were often people who were extremely miserable in their marriages themselves, has anyone else noticed this trend? It's like a crabs in a bucket mentality where the women who are the most miserable in their marriages are the most gung ho about getting younger women they know to do it too.

No. 413487

>>413319
>sham marriage just for the gift registry
I often think about this too, I just want some boujee homewares.

No. 413499

>>413487
My main reasons for potentially considering marriage are legal ones, because I have dual citizenship and have considered moving back to the EU eventually, and getting married would mean I could bring my bf with me. However, I know a lot of people say marriage financially benefits women, and I'm not so sure. The idea of 'officially' blending finances kind of freaks me out, and a lot of the actual wedding process kind of freaks me out too. Like I like the idea of a big fun party in theory that I'm allowed to fully plan and have control over, but in practice it is likely to be extremely expensive and stressful when you consider the guest list, location, etc. and who will and won't be invited. I would consider having a wedding in my home country because it's kind of 'trad' and I think my extended family would like to be able to attend my wedding and meet my bf, theoretically, but again that would be incredibly stressful and weird to plan.

I know it differs by location but I'm still not sure if the legalities of marriage actually benefit women (financially and legally) in most cases. I can't foresee ever having a partner who has more long term financial potential than me, so I'd be scared that divorce would lead to me losing assets in the long term. On the other hand I think if you're having children it's good for the children to have married parents (I don't want children but this is one of the things a lot of my female friends talk about as the only reason they'd seriously consider marriage). I wish the whole process didn't come with so much baggage because I think there are some benefits in theory, I'm just not sure how practical a lot of those benefits are for women in the current day when women are increasingly likely to be more educated and potentially even outearn their prospective husbands.

No. 413532

I've noticed increased pressure to have children more than marriage

No. 413535

>>413532
Yeah I've noticed this too, although most people I see pressuring women to have kids want them to be married first so one kind of includes the other. I haven't seen a lot of people encouraging women to become single moms or have kids outside of committed relationships/marriages.

No. 413559

>>413430
ayrt, thankfully my mother was the circuit breaker in her family. She got married young to an awful man who cheated on her constantly and abandoned her and my half sister to run off with his mistress. Eventually she met my dad and they’ve been (mostly) happy together since, but I spent my whole childhood and teen years being told not to waste my time on boys and that I wasn’t allowed to get married until I was 28 kek.
I’m sorry that you have to put up with that from your immediate family nonna, but at least you have your busted cousin to remind d you that they don’t have a leg to stand on. If your family were about marriage as a traditional thing then they should have been on his ass for the past eight years to marry his babymama. They’re probs just jealous about the fact that the world is at your feet and you don’t have any man or fetus to weight you down and kill your dreams the way they did.

No. 413561

Might be wrong thread, but whenever a female celeb goes through a divorce, moids seethe hard in her comments saying she gave up on a chance, she lost a chad, she'll be single and lonely and live with cats alone etc etc. While a moid getting a divorce is a win, a freedom. Why do moids even get married if they think women are abusive controllers who will shackle them down while also do this kek.

No. 413568

Any marriagefree nonnas ever doubt their decision? I don’t mind being single now but I worry I’ll go mad from isolation over time.

No. 413582

Calling off my engagement was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. We’d been in a committed LTR but once he proposed I just started feeling like it was a bad decision. Breaking it off let me better analyze the relationship and see all of his flaws and what I’d be signing myself up for forever. This happened in my early thirties. I’m now 36 and I say this in a fully non-cope kind of way, but this is the best my life has ever been. Single, job I love, live with my cats, go hiking all the time. No kids either so my money is my money and my time is my time and the entire thing really helped me realize my self-worth.

No. 413583

>>413568
If you are/feel isolated you're probably doing things wrong that have nothing to do with being unmarried/single. You should never exclusively rely on a romantic partner for your social needs.

No. 413590

>>413582
Same nonna, but I was thinking a bit more. His flaws were typical moid stuff (not emotionally present, didn’t help out with chores - we lived together which was a big mistake on my part, was just lazy). I feel like a lot of women think marriage is going to be a bandaid for their relationship or improve it somehow, but in my case, it made me realize that what I was doing was how it was always going to be, or that it might get worse. My future looked miserable. If anyone else is in a similar situation, just cut the cord. It’s so much better on the other side.

No. 413602

>>413568
Not being married doesn’t mean you don’t have to date or can’t have friends kek.

No. 413603

>>413532
Too bad because 90% of men nowadays don’t want to settle down until they’re like 50
Tearing your crotch open for a man is completely pointless unless youre a masochist who enjoys thanklessly taking care of others

No. 413663

>>413568
I don't doubt it, but sometimes I feel like my life would be easier if I did settle for getting married.

No. 413675

Wish I'd called off my engagement. In the lead up to getting married my gut was screaming at me. I was stupidly young att and pushy feedback from others only enforced I was 'being silly' 'it's normal nerves that everyone gets!' My god did people talk me down hard and like a self doubting idiot I took that in. Thinking they were older and wiser, not knowing whether to believe that sure ig all brides to-be must feel an immense sense of dread because everyone is telling me that? It's almost laughable looking back now but only because enough time has passed since. It wasn't a big wedding, a pricey wedding, or someone else footing the bill etc so I thought they'd no reason to push for it unless they truly meant well/knew better. I was so young and stupid it's painful.

Divorced. My pre wedding doubts.. I'm just crazy. His POST wedding doubts.. Not a hint of questioning or pressure or anyone inserting themselves into it. I own my own stupidity in it ever happening but I hate those undertones I only saw in retrospect.

No. 413677

>>413675
I'm glad at least you got out of that marriage sooner rather than later anon. If you are open to sharing, what were the doubts you were having and how did people talk you down from them? I'm sure a lot of people really do just have 'nerves' about such a big thing but I think women should be encouraged to follow their instincts more in general, especially when it comes to huge decisions that could easily just be put off til later.

No. 413739

Would any of you change your mind for the right person?

No. 413755

>>413663
Men definitely don’t make your life easier. Initially, if he’s wealthy, very loving, has a good career, etc then yes it will feel like your life is easier…until it’s not. The problem with men is they’re not designed to be monogamous so nearly all of them get bored and resentful and stop trying to make their wife happy eventually (that’s if you’re lucky enough to find one who tried in the first place) no joke a lot of men do a complete 180 once the wedding is over and become cold, distant, aloof, start turning to porn or having romances with coworkers or chatting to women online because they’re simply allergic to genuine monogamy and loyalty. Mens idea of ‘love’ is far FAR more shallow and superficially based than womens love is. Take sex off the menu, or gain 50lbs, and see how fast most men stop loving their wives.

Super loyal men do exist but they are like a needle in a haystack and even then many of them get bored after the honeymoon period or as their wife starts to age or her body is affected by having kids. And which is why so many married women are either miserable a few years in or wilfully ignorant of their husbands behavior because they can’t stand to face the truth about the man they chose to marry. Men generally don’t make good long term partners, it doesn’t help that every moid has been frying his oxytocin, vasopressin and dopamine receptors since puberty with porn, so a lot of them are quite literally broken and incapable of genuinely bonding. And no a man acting desperate pathetic clingy lovebombing and possessive is not proof of bonding, many coomers, narcs, psychos etc act like that especially in the initial stages of dating and they turn on a dime when some other woman comes along too. Men happily throw away 20,30,40 year marriages for a one night stand.

No. 413766

>>413755
I think men can make your life easier and sometimes (though rarely) do, but you should definitely not settle for one who isn't actively making your life easier in the moment. Like if you can't honestly say 'if my bf dumped me/cheated on me/died tomorrow, I still would be materially better off than having not dated him at all,' he's not actually making your life easier. If you get a bunch of money from dating a man, but you would feel trapped, have nowhere to go, or no earning potential if you broke up, then he's not making your life easier (long term). I think you should only stay in a relationship with a man long term if every day you think 'even if it ended today I would still be better off than I would have been otherwise,' I think most women know this is not the case and deliberately don't ask themselves this question when they're in relationships because society and families pressure them to think a man adds something to their life almost by default.

I think many of the women on lolcow overestimate the number of men who are pornbrained coomers, it's not 99.999% it's probably closer to like 80-90% depending on your demographic, and the men who are actually fun and interesting are on the less likely to be pornsick side, but pornsickness isn't the only problem you can have with a male. Even if they are well meaning they might flip on you eventually, so I think if women do choose marriage or long term relationships they should always consider the possibility of divorce very seriously (even if you genuinely think you'll never get divorced, just assume you might) and should always consider if they will be financially and materially better off or at least neutral after a potential divorce. Most of the women I know who married by age 30 had very good, concrete reasons for doing it, like immigration or certain specific benefits, because I think the financial benefits to women are not that great a lot of the time otherwise.

>>413739
Not for 'the right person' but for the right circumstance. There are circumstances in which I think marriage might be beneficial/protective on balance. Planning to have children is one of those circumstances (that's something I currently don't want to do but hypothetically), immigration or large financial benefits/tax cuts might be another reason. I would always weigh those with the difficulty/cost of divorce, are you able to get a prenup if you have your own assets going into the marriage (honestly if you don't have your own assets going into a marriage I'd be concerned unless you have very supportive family), etc. At the end of the day it's just a contract, so the 'terms' of the contract relative to my life situation and the 'terms' of breaking the contract are what I would be most interested in.

No. 413769

>>413766
>only 80% of men are undateable
Oh, thats good then.

No. 413772

>>413766
Let’s be honest only 50% of married women said they’re happy in their marriage. Many women would like to leave their husbands but most women who get married end up having kids too which complicates things greatly. If you get married at 21 then divorced at 28-30 with no kids then of course it’s easy to start all over again. But most women get married at 25-30, divorced at 35-40, and have a few kids by then. Being a single mom complicates things drastically, you have to weed out creeps who are just targeting you for your children, a lot of men refuse to date single moms seriously etc. So many women stay in relationships purely for their kids sake. It doesn't mean they are happy, not by a long shot. Having kids is what really traps women, not marriage in itself necessarily.

No. 413773

>>413769
Realistically even if they weren't pornsick coomers 80% of men would be undateable anyway. In most modern countries women don't need men for much of anything anyway so you should only date someone if they're exceptional and actually adding something to your life, which most men won't by default (and before the rise of video porn/hentai/etc. most men were undateable too though possibly slightly less likely to be sexually obnoxious and have weird kinks). But hey if you're on lolcow and realize this and know that pornsickness is bad you're already better off than most women theoretically. Many women never got a chance to develop standards.

No. 413777

>>413773
When you use the standards calculator, you’ll find that men over 5ft10, who earn more than 40K a year, who aren’t obese, and who are between 18-35 ends up being like 1% of the population. And thats not even taking into account compatibility in other areas, or mental stability, personality etc.

No. 413778

>>413772
I think if women have children with a man and want to have children they should be ready to put the children first before their own comfort/dating life whatever happens in the future. If you want to be able to freely bring moids over to your place then don't have children because yes, if you divorce, strange new men are likely to present a risk to your kids. For a lot of women I think having children is a more important priority than romance anyway, so this works for them. Never let yourself get pressured into having kids if you aren't sure you want them though.

No. 413780

>>413773
>In most modern countries women don't need men for much of anything anyway so you should only date someone if they're exceptional and actually adding something to your life, which most men won't by default
Devils advocate here
If you don’t need a man for anything other than companionship then shouldn’t that be a case for lowering your standards?

No. 413781

>>413780
Why would it be? If you don't need him for anything then what's the point in a relationship unless you really want him for something?

No. 413782

>>413777
Well between the ages of 18-35 there's definitely more than 1% of men who are over 5'10 (kind of arbitrary, not every woman would have this standard), earn over 40k (in many countries anyway) and aren't fat, but these shouldn't be your only standards.

No. 413784

>>413780
I don’t think most women care about companionship in men. Women are better at emotional support and also generally more reliable and kind. Most women have friends for that. The type of women who look for support, friendship and care in their husbands are usually the ones getting fucked over after a few years because he got empathy fatigue.

No. 413785

>>413781
Being with a man because you want him is better than a relationship borne out of necessity

No. 413787

>>413785
Yes, my point exactly. Your standards should be high for this reason. The only women who are justified in having low standards are those who 'need' to get married for some reason, but this is usually only true for women in extremely conservative cultures now.

No. 413789

File: 1720750315003.jpeg (304.08 KB, 1410x2482, IMG_2315.jpeg)

>>413782
I don’t think my criteria is that picky but I still only got 2% of moids.

And that’s not even accounting for all the ones who are already in a relationship, ugly, psycho, bald etc. Most women want the top 1% of men but even stacies have to settle for gross ugly flabby neet bastards nowadays.

No. 413791

>>413789
What is the female equivalent to this type of man?

No. 413793

>>413789
I don’t know why men complain about ‘hoeflation’ nowadays when scroteflation is a far more obvious and pressing matter. Maybe it’s different in America, but I never see attractive men with fat or ugly gfs. Meanwhile I see tons of attractive slim women with fat ugly bfs.

No. 413801

>>413789
Well yeah but realistically your standards would never have included old moids out of your age range anyway, so I think that's a silly way to calculate it. Your dating pool is realistically people you are likely to meet, who are around your age, who are single, and out of those people there are only a few you would likely want to date anyway. Like my standards for friends would likely be only top 5-10% of intelligence, but because of my social circles and education level, far more than 5-10% of the people I meet are in the high intelligence level bracket that I'm looking for, so I meet plenty of people I can be friends with. I am unlikely to want to be friends with people under 25 or over 50, but luckily most of the people I meet in social settings are within my preferred age range anyway. I don't even think about the raw numbers of people in the world that I could theoretically be friends with, because I'm unlikely to meet most of them. It's the same for dating or marriage partners. If you want to get married or be in a long term relationship you only need to meet one person who meets your standards, which may never happen but I don't think it makes sense to obsess over it if your life is rich and full and you are self sufficient anyway. If you meet someone who meets your criteria, that's a nice thing. If you don't, you're probably literally better off alone. Of course if your standards include 18-22yo moids that whole bracket is much less likely to be making 40k yet, because many of them are in college or job training, but that doesn't mean they won't earn money in the future. I wouldn't put current earnings as a standard if you're that young or dating people that young, and I would want to be making my own money anyway and only settle down once I feel both myself and my partner are relatively financially solvent on our own.

No. 413809

>>413801
Men over 35 are physically repulsive to me and I’m only 21. I’m not dating someone more than 15 years older, even that in itself is vile.

No. 413825

>>413809
Yeah if you're 21 you shouldn't be considering 30+ year old men at all at your current age. But if you are still single at age 30 you are more likely to consider men around 30 physically acceptable and they're also more likely to earn more and want kids.

Realistically the vast majority of marriages only have a 2 year age gap up or down, so I don't think calculating a total percentage of all American males makes practical sense. Practically speaking your dating pool is people close to your age who you are likely to meet. If you have a highly specific standard for a boyfriend, say, that he is a Catholic, then you will meet way more of them by going to Catholic church on Sundays or attending Catholic church based events, or moving to a predominantly Catholic country. If you want to avoid pornsick coomers you should try to put yourself in social groups where people don't use much social media and don't spend much time on the internet, since those are the people much less likely to be pornsick. Your own lifestyle will have the biggest effect on who you are likely to meet.

I think women should only even consider marriage at all once they are stable enough to make it on their own, and only in situations where they've met a man and known him for a while already who adds some kind of concrete value to their lives. Part of the social pressure to marry exists specifically to prevent this - women are encouraged to marry young (before they are independent) and drop their standards (because all the good moids will be snapped up and prefer 18 year old loyal virgins, or whatever) as a way of coercing women into marriages that don't benefit them. Marriages benefit men more than they benefit women, in general.

I think it is sad that so many women have low standards and don't consider obvious bad traits in moids dealbreakers, but that's unlikely to be your issue if you're on lolcow participating in this conversation at all.

No. 413851

>>413825
Are you male?

No. 413853

>>413851
Why would I be male?

No. 413954

>>413739
No, I don't think there's a "right person", but even if I somehow met my soul mate or whatever I would still want to remain 100% independent, even moving in together would be out of question.

No. 413961

>>413954
Although I think a lot of people do like cohabiting with others, I wish more women had this attitude about independence. If someone is the 'right person' they will likely want you to have independence anyway and support/understand the lifestyle you want for yourself. This is another aspect of the psyop, young girls/women are encouraged to think about 'prince charming' growing up but then also told that they need to completely change themselves and their habits/lifestyle for 'the one.' If you really meet someone who's good for you they should understand and accept you.

This realization really hit home for me when I had my first 'serious' adult boyfriend and found myself changing in a bunch of ways to be a 'good girlfriend' for him (not that he asked, just because society psyopped me into thinking this is what I should be doing) to the point where I realized I didn't like myself much anymore and could barely recognize myself. It wasn't even anything that extreme but all the subtle things added up. After that I decided to never enter a serious relationship again until I was confident I wouldn't start changing myself for a relationship. All the norms surrounding dating and specifically marriage encourage women to believe they should go through a total life overhaul and I think that's why so many women end up feeling or being trapped.

Sorry just kind of thinking out loud here but this is why I hate the phrase 'he swept me off my feet.' Like I know it's just an innocent idiom but it implies that romance should involve someone literally destabilizing you. This gives an in to lovebombers and narcs who are good at exploiting the idea that it's a good thing for someone to come into your life and put you completely off balance, same with phrases like 'whirlwind romance'. A good partner should 'support' you but not by taking away your ability to support yourself.

No. 414009

How do you respond to people who give you their unprompted advice on weddings/marriage when you have not hinted at wanting any of that?

No. 414299

>>413739
The right one is someone who respects this choice.

No. 414325

>>413739
The "right person" isn't decisive but whether the benefits of marriage outweigh the risks is decisive for me. I don't think enough women think about marriage as the legal contract that it is that needs to be worth it for you.

No. 414331

Married women are easier to con into breeding, both by their husbands and by society at large.

No. 414358

>>413294
> i know that there are some countries that still practice arranged marriage

I'm the product of one such arranged marriage and can confirm, it was just pressure from my grandparents to continue the lineage and most likely the family name. And it'll most likely die with my generation because I don't see myself or my two younger sisters get married and having kids. If it happens, it won't be because of societal pressure.
My Mom never told us any bullshit about a supposed "Prince Charming" coming for us, never told us to get married and have kids one of my grandmas would pressure other older cousins to get married and get kids instead. She was not happy in love, even if she loves me and my sisters, but the whole ordeal and the baggage it was attached to made it impossible to form a "normal family" (if there is such a thing). Society's idealization of "mawage" and having kids has been so far removed from my education and how I've learned to think of things growing up. I almost wish there were more testimonies of arranged marriages and the can of worms they are because it really breaks this propagandized image of the whole thing.

No. 414477

What percentage of marriages do you estimate to be ideal and not skewed in favour of the man’s best interests?

No. 414478

>>414477
Like 1-5% at most? Probably depends on the demographic.

No. 414506

>>414477
Literally not even 1%.

No. 414575

>>414477
About 80% though I live in an area where there’s not much pressure to marry.

No. 414592

>>414477
even good, healthy marriages are probably leaning towards the man's favor. so like 1-5%.

No. 414721

>>414575
Which area lol this sounds fake

No. 414737

>>414477
0% the man always gets more out of it

No. 414848

>>414721
Melbourne

No. 414852

>>414848
Nta but what do you base your opinion on?

No. 414853

>>414852
Of the 5 women who are married in my circle of friends, 4 seem happier than they were when they were single. The unhappy one was a bit too eager to settle for the first guy who had courted her after she broke up with her ex fiancé.

No. 414869

>>414477
It's hard to estimate because people can really put on an act even when you think you're close enough to know their dynamic is good. I remember growing up next to a couple that in public you'd swear were 'goals' but through a shared wall.. this man had an indoor and outdoor personality. The doting husband, marriage to envy.. bs

Living next to more married couples is as much insight as I've ever gotten. Hear more than what anyone willingly shares. Not talking about dv but men bitching and women sounding exausted at trying to calm shit down all the time. Common ime but how do you keep track if they overcompensate the most the minute they have visitors or step outside. Men act, wives get memed into saving face in front of friends/fam

No. 414999

>>414853
Well if you're just going off the 5 married women in your peer group your estimate is probably skewed as hell. I also know a few young married couple (with kids under 2yo in many cases) who seem happy and where it seems like the men do at least half the work but I still wouldn't assume from the outside that 1. my impression of these couples is necessarily correct and 2. that this is representative of most married couples, since I tend to know a certain type of person. I still want to know what in theory about marriage would benefit women, except for specific financial situations or immigration/green-card type situations because in most cases I think cohabitating but being unmarried is actually better for the woman's interests since she's not as likely to be trapped.

No. 415014

>>414853
I was hoping you'd answer more in terms of social and financial benefits and legal means/protection when anon asked about % of marriages not being skewed in favour of men's best interest, not a very superficial "they seem happy".

No. 415017

>>415014
Same, I want to know what the concrete legal, social and financial benefits are and what women have to do to get them (in terms of prenups, financial arrangements before and during marriage, etc).

No. 415376

File: 1721166866991.png (476.4 KB, 2559x858, Screenshot 2024-07-16 at 22.52…)

It's insane that moids actually think they can bring anything positive to a woman's life in this day and age. Even tradthots are getting cheated on, divorced, left as single moms etc, left right and centre. Men are terrified of their own obsolescence and know deep down 95% of them were never meant to breed let alone gain access to a vagina.

No. 415378

File: 1721166921163.png (271.11 KB, 2559x998, Screenshot 2024-07-16 at 22.54…)


No. 415382

File: 1721167125642.png (407.67 KB, 2559x1164, Screenshot 2024-07-16 at 22.56…)

>haha, enjoy being a cat lady
>when the alternative, being my dick washer, bangmaid and broodmare who washes my skidmark covered boxers while I jerk off to porn in the other room is would have REALLY fulfilled you, ladies
Why are rape apes so delulu? Is this how they cope with being biologically expendable canon fodder?

No. 415383

>>415376
>>415378
>>415382
Women can literally always get a man no matter how old they are. Even the most woman-hating incels admit this. And unlike men we don't have to pay or bribe our way for the opposite sex to pay attention to us. Nor do men care about personality, so even the most batshit insane, personality disordered, bitter angry women can get a husband anytime she wants too (studies even proof men are more attracted to bpd and sociopathic women)

A shit ton of younger men have a strong preference for MILFs/GILFs anyway, even old women in nursing homes who shit the bed can get bfs. A woman who wants a bf can always get one no matter what. Unpicked wursties coping this hard will never not be funny, kek.

No. 415384

File: 1721167508004.png (390.72 KB, 1729x1229, Screenshot 2024-07-16 at 23.03…)

Men are blowing their brains out at record levels. They really want us to be as lonely and miserable as they are.

No. 415388

>>415384
Honestly Golden Girls sound more appealing than growing old with a male.

No. 415390

>>415388
I always wanted that. Living in a house with 2-3 other female friends who all look out for and care of one another sounds infinitely preferable to cohabiting with a scrote. Your husband is almost certainly guaranteed to die before you anyway.

No. 415394

>>415383
I never understood this type of incel cognitive dissonance

>wahhhh, women cannot be lonely, no matter how fat, ugly, maimed, disfigured or old she is, she can always get laid and find a bf, wahhhhh only men can be incel

>heh, women are old ugly and expired after 25 and undesirable empty egg cartons by 30, no man will ever want them

So…which is it?

No. 415399

>>415384
>then they get depressed and fat
Studies literally show that married people have higher BMIs and are more obese than single people kek. I wouldn't be surprised if many women turn to comfort eating in their marriage.

>>415382
I also like when they admit they find older women unattractive. So why should a woman marry one of these shallow, youth obsessed coomers then? Everyone ages, men tend to age particularly hideously too, why would a woman want to make a lifelong commitment to a man, do irreparable damage to her body through bearing his children etc, if these men are basically admitting they would no longer be attracted to their wife when she's old, saggier and fat? If anything this puts women off marriage more. No woman wants to exhaust herself constantly sheepdogging her husband as soon as she develops a few crows feet.

No. 415402

Marriage is extremely unwise and unnatural imo. Maybe in the past when most people barely made it to 30 and resource pooling was a better survival strategy for the poorer classes, maybe. But I refuse to believe 40,50,60 year long marriages were ever supposed to be common, which is why most marriages fail by the time couples reach their 50s and 60s. Age gap marriages also have an astronomically high divorce rate, so I refuse to believe a 50 year old man marrying a 25 year old woman was common or normal either.

No. 415473

>>415402
Age gap marriages were not common in basically any historical context, no. They occasionally happened between nobility (usually political marriage reasons) or when extremely rich/royal men took young concubines, but almost all marriages in most recorded civilizations, even going back to ancient times, between 'normal' people and even between many nobles were pretty well age-matched. Even in noble/royal families men were expected to start producing heirs early in life so the likelihood of them being old and marrying prepubescent girls as a first wife was very low. This is just some weird moid cope to explain their pedophilia and doesn't reflect real society, now or historically for that matter.

The most stable marriages today are between same-age couples who got married past their mid-twenties, there are not that many advantages to getting married for women but even for women who do want marriage there is literally zero advantage to getting married young or to an older man or god forbid both.

No. 415539

>>415473
Only speaking for my own country (Ireland) here, but it's been the norm for people to marry in their late twenties here for a long time. Post famine the average age for marriage was late twenties, and pre-famine it was mid twenties. In 1900 the average age to marry here was 29 (my own great grandparents were married at 29 and 30 in the late 1930s).
The vast majority of people in Ireland back then were poor, and men had to be able to provide for a family before taking a wife. Although unfortunately it wasn't uncommon for young women from poor backgrounds to marry older men because they just weren't in a position to wait for a man their own age to become financially stable. Although it wasn't the norm as most couples only had a few years difference between them, but there definitely were quite a lot of age gap marriages and they were a source of gossip in the community back in older times.
For the most part people who think girls were getting married and pushing out babies by 16 are full of shit. Most girls weren't even fertile at that stage anyway, it wasn't until more recently in history that it became the norm for girls to start menstruating around 12.

No. 415546

>>415539
Yeah I think people don't realize how high age of marriage was in a lot of societies historically, although it really was quite low in some others (but usually still relatively age-matched). My grandma had an age gap marriage to escape her parents' house (controlling dad) in her teens so I know it did happen but she told me her situation was not the norm either. In the West it has been the expectation for quite a while to be able to provide for a family before getting married, yes, so I don't get what's up with 'trad' LARPers telling early 20s people with no job or savings to 'just settle down first' lmao they are insane.

No. 415549

My sister got married and I can’t help but think that they have issues he used to run around and party and she would talk to other guys sometimes but she’s always posting about how much in love they are and I’m thinking maybe it’s a cope? Or something because like why do you need to remind everyone how in love you are with your man. Literally every other post of hers is “me and bae” maybe I’m a hater. I just wish I wasn’t so jaded, I don’t believe in men being anything less than the shallow and stupid creatures they are

No. 415555

>>415549
I know some men who seem decent to their partners and I also know some (apparently) happy/healthy LTRs or marriages but none of them are the type to constantly spam social media with how happy they are in their relationship, I agree that it seems like cope to me. You'd know your sister better but whenever I've seen a couple start spamming social media with how much they love each other constantly (especially the woman) it is usually followed by a breakup/divorce/outing of some serious issues shortly afterwards. You can usually tell a relationship is on the healthier side by how comfortable the couple seems both together and apart, and by observing the ways the moids show respect to their female partners when they're together.

This also feeds into another reason I think marriage/wedding shilling is disadvantageous to women, since it's often a way for insecure couples (or again, women who are insecure about their relationship) to try to paper over issues by rushing into more commitment. Whenever I've seen a couple seem to 'rush' into getting married for anything other than health insurance/a green card/etc. it's usually because the relationship is already tenuous and unstable and they're trying to 'rescue' it before it's too late, which is an awful basis for a long term financial and legal commitment. The whole 'lock him down' mindset older women teach to younger women is just teaching those women that they should be worried if they don't legally force a moid to be with them then the moid will want to leave them later. In reality no one should be getting married to someone they are worried will want to leave.

No. 415564

>>415384
What unmarried, childless women are they being exposed to? Maybe my experience is uncommon, but I’ve had the privilege of knowing four different women in their 50s-60s who chose to not do these things, and they’re some of the happiest and healthiest women I’ve met (both physically and mentally). All of them travel and meet with friends a lot, have a lot of money, and are of normal BMI. Their lives always sound so interesting and they make me want to aspire to be like them.

No. 415572

>>415564
They're incels, they're not being exposed to women period. They're just making up projections and imaginations in their inceloid brains because they know if they were single and childless at that age they'd be miserable.

No. 415609

>>415539
This is why moids hate welfare and women working because it enables women to be independent from them and not be forced to marry an ugly old scrote for survival like women in other impoverished countries unfortunately often have to do.

No. 415612

>>415546
Ironically these LARPers accuse everyone else of being emotional, but their entire ideology runs on Disneyesque logic where everything will work out perfectly as long as they meet their princess kek.
> Everyone should settle down, get married and have kids before you even have the means to care of yourself, you have the power of based trad love on your side!!!
It would be adorable if it wasn't attached to such a fundamentally prejudiced movement.

No. 415618

>>415609
I can't remember where I found it, but I read some research article that showed age gaps are smaller the more equality there is in a country. Not for everyone of course since there's plenty of Swedish divorcees who go to Thailand to look for a freshly 18 child bride desperate for money to feed her family, but as a general rule.
Moids cry biology and fertility but it doesn't make any logical sense. If the father is 50 he's gonna have disfigured or retarded children whichever age woman he marries, and all the woman gets for marrying older is the pleasure of changing his adult diaper and being his nanny nurse until he dies, then living out the rest of her life as a widow.

No. 415628

>>414853
Anon for fucks sake, don't take at face value the shit people tell in their GCs. Straight normie women lie a lot about their relationships and Nigels either cause they are in deep denial and/or ashamed of having fallen for a shitty moid so they hide the shitty things he does.

Then the random sudden divorces happen. "Who could have thought they seemed so happy together!" Come on Nonnas don't fall for these. Tale as old as time.

No. 415633

>>413298
I'm European, but frankly I always assumed arranged marriages functioned under the premise then the parents pawn off a daughter, they get something in exchange. The origin of marriages was literally selling daughters off in exchange of cattle or resources. Idk how it works now but frankly it does sound eerily similar to human trafficking, sort of.

No. 415636

>>415612
It is extremely frustrating because my mom is one of the people who hopped on the trad LARP shit even though she herself had me in her late twenties and thought it was way too early for most of her life, and has spent her life regretting they weren't more 'settled' before having me and saying she met my dad too young and should have dated around more lmao. I don't get how this captures the female imagination so much even when you're well into middle age and already know that you personally would have been better off 'settling down' later. Extremely weird and frustrating, it truly is just like a fairytale Disney mentality.

Whenever I see any online discussion of trad marriage I see so much of this exact sentiment stated explicitly. 'Oh the best way to do it is meet when you're both young and have nothing, get married because you have faith it will work and then make it work and build a life together!' Marriage never worked like that in basically any society, it was always a contract to secure assets among other things.

No. 415637

>>415633
Sometimes in arranged marriages the parents don't really 'get' anything in exchange - in many cases they even pay to get rid of her (dowry) - but what they ultimately 'get' is not having to be financially responsible for her anymore, at least for poorer families. For wealthier families they usually 'get' something like connections to other well-off families, possible business partners and so on. But in reality for a lot of families the problem is that raising a daughter takes resources, so they want her to move in with and be supported by someone else instead.

No. 415702

>>415618
>age gaps are smaller the more equality there is in a country
That makes perfect sense though. It’s the same reason prostitution, marrying for money, etc is less common in feminist Nordic countries (at least among the native Nordic female population, of course this makes scrotes seethe so the uggos and undesirables go hunting for impoverished SEA women)

No. 415704

>>415702
There are basically only two common reasons for women to marry significantly older (like 4-5 years plus) scrotes and it is 1. for money/financial security or 2. because of outside pressure/psyopping about older moids being more mature or desirable. These are the only two common plausible reasons for women to desire significantly older men with a few exceptions like people just meeting in some activity and really hitting it off on a personal level or something. The reasons why people would date/marry same-age people are overwhelming: more likely to meet in the same high school or university cohort, more likely to meet through mutual friends, more likely to be in the same life stage and share common experiences, more likely to want children/a home at a similar time, etc. A large number of the couples I know are the literal exact same age, because this is just the most convenient and natural way to connect with someone - being their peer in something like a school or work setting or friend group. Of course the only countries where large age gaps are the norm are countries where women have no rights or no work opportunities or are pressured into it by family/society. Countries where women are essentially pawned off on/sold to moids because they have no work opportunities and the family doesn't want to support them anymore tend to have both younger marriage ages for women and larger age gaps.

No. 415724

>>415704
Age gaps matter less over time.

No. 415736

>>415704
You sound young. “Life stages” become longer and the boundaries more nebulous over time, especially once you’re out of school. Although even in college, 4-5 years isn’t much of an age gap in any context… you in high school still?

No. 415741

>>415724
>>415736
Nta but I don’t see how those facts are relevant to what she’s saying? It’s not contradictory to what she’s saying, which is that besides money there tends to me more incentive to marrying someone in your age group.

No. 415744

>>415736
I’m single at 40. I set my age range to 30-40 on dating apps.

No. 415780

File: 1721259913196.png (600.03 KB, 500x625, EE250783-D679-4D02-9A21-3EE8E8…)

I hate that being picked by a scrote is seen as the highest compliment when the majority of time it is such an insult. Vast majority of moids do not see woman as humans and that doesn’t magically go away once he starts fucking one. Moids are uncomfortable with women who they actually emotionally connect with. When you have a real connection they get scared and run because a connection means they actually have something to lose. People act like it’s a cope or that the woman was just delusional but it’s true. Men really do categorize women in certain ways (only good for sex, good for now girlfriends, dream girls, and women out of their league). They seem to know which is which early on but because they’re all emotionally retarded they’ll either sabotage things or drag them out for as long as possible. I get eyerolls trying to explain this to people but then I find out they’ve been with their pet moid since high school kek. I’ve been every single role for scrotes and the differences are shocking. I’ve been with moids where I kept myself small and pliable, hoping they’d show some genuine interest in me as a person and they never did. They’d talk my ear off and wouldn’t even bother to ask about my dad. No interests in common, no banter, barely any real conversation and I know those relationships would’ve ended in engagements had I let them go on. It did not matter that I was completely checked out every time I hung out with them, they literally didn’t even notice. I was wifey material because I kept my mouth shut and let them do whatever at the expense of my own autonomy. The moids I had real connections with would flip shit. They’d go from happy to freaking out constantly about how inadequate they were and when I didn’t magically fix them they’d bail. They still talk to me, keep tabs from afar, date women who remind them of me, but never admit fault. There was something ‘wrong’ but they don’t exactly know why. The reality is that they felt inadequate because I had my own autonomy and didn’t feed their egos by acting like a retard. Doesn’t matter that we were always having fun, had inside jokes, could open up emotionally, had amazing sex, etc. Me just being present as a woman was too much for their egos. These types of scrotes are especially heinous because they’ll marry their good enough girlfriends while pining after other women while never actually doing any real inner work.

No. 415809

>>415780
Preach, nonna. I'm tired of women constantly being made to feel ashamed and guilty for immature male behaviour. It's amazing how little men can grow and develop emotionally without women. It's like they have absolutely no way of reflecting unless it's forced into them, and it makes me depressed that I'll never find a man who can act like an adult.

No. 415817

>>415780
>Moids are uncomfortable with women who they actually emotionally connect with.
The perfect relationship (for moids) is like a parent/child one. My stepdad married my mom when he was 42 and she was 28. Half the time he’s bitching about her is because of her immature behaviour shaped by a lack of life experience.

No. 415819

This hasn't been my experience. I do want to get married eventually, but I've never felt pressured to get married by anyone, or maybe I'm just immune to the conditioning.

No. 415823

>>415780
I’ve seen so many guys on 4chan and Twitter talking about how they married a ‘submissive mid woman’ because she was ‘wife material’ but don’t really love her and still pine after e-girls, Stacies who rejected them, thots etc. You see it happen a lot with ugly/mid white men and Asian women. He wanted a white woman but couldn’t find one who would take him seriously so he settles for a self hating Asian woman who worships him while constantly disrespecting her and seething over the white women who don’t consider him a dating option. It’s a sad reality that men will happily wife ugly doormat women but will never actually love her or be loyal to her.

No. 415968

I’m surprised more women aren’t choosing to be single given that women don’t want babies and/or need a mans money.

No. 415969

>>415736
I'm not that young, no, I'm in my thirties. I don't know any successful long-term couples my generation with age gaps over 4 years, which is actually the norm. Couples with larger age gaps are rare and they are more likely to divorce. Almost everyone I know who is married or in a long term relationship that seems stable has a 0 or 1 year age gap with their partner, because of the reasons I said above. It is just much more likely for people to meet and fall in love who are basically the same age as each other. In fact two couples I was friends with broke up this year because of larger age gaps of 5-7 years (one half of the couple wanted kids while the other one didn't/wasn't ready yet). Once you get to be a little older and actually see marriages and relationships that last a little longer that's when you really realize that age gaps do, in fact, matter.

No. 415974

>>415780
>The moids I had real connections with would flip shit. They’d go from happy to freaking out constantly about how inadequate they were and when I didn’t magically fix them they’d bail. They still talk to me, keep tabs from afar, date women who remind them of me, but never admit fault.
Lol I know exactly what you are talking about nonna and it definitely is a real phenomenon, but I don't think every moid who feels a genuine connection with a woman does this, only the ones who are internally unstable and insecure. Some moids who feel a deep connection with women do really try to hang onto and put effort into the relationship, you just need to find the sane mentally stable ones and most moids unfortunately are not mentally stable enough for adult relationships.

I have also seen a lot of women on the other side of this (never me I never managed to make myself small for a moid but had plenty of friends who did) who were clearly being used as a forevergf stand-in for whatever girl that guy was actually pining after and it is really sad to see. One friend told her boyfriend she expects to get engaged within the year and he used that opportunity to insist they should 'take a break' (while he was still living in her home she was paying for) to 'make sure they were right for each other' and then told her all his male friends did the same thing before getting engaged/married to their wives. He then attempted to date some prominent politician's daughter who was a model and also his age (unlike my friend) who apparently he had been obsessed with for years, which didn't work, and came crawling back to my friend who despite being kind of a doormat at least had the good sense to not want to take him back and told him to get out of her house lmao. The sheer number of times I have witnessed moids acting like this is insane, they really do just pine after some stacy who doesn't give a shit about them while using another woman as a doormat placeholder.

>>415823
This is why there is literally no point in even looking at men who want 'trad' marriages lmao, they're all like this. 'Oh my wife material doesn't even have to be pretty, just mid, loyal, will give me her best years and willing to pop out babies… anyway I love to coom to big titty goth gf/MILF/futa porn in my free time'

No. 415976

>>415969
My parents have an 11 year age gap and they’ve been together since 1987.

No. 415978

>>415976
Okay but this is rare.

No. 415989

>>415976
My parents have a ten year age gap and they’ve been together since 1979 (well, until one of them died a couple years ago) but my dad was an abusive piece of shit and my mom thought he would kill her if she tried to divorce him so it was still a big problem. She was 20 and he was 30 (+100lbs and a foot taller than her) when they met. While we’re sharing anecdotes just thought I’d share that.

No. 416007

>>415976
And? My parents also had a 10 year gap and my mother only stayed because she couldn't afford to leave. Thankfully he died in his 60s.
My sister also fell for the age gap meme and is now married to a 12 year older, worthless man with 2 failed marriages and 2 step kids who hate her. And of course he didn't let her have her own kids.
Grandma also married with a big gap and he was a wife beater, child beater, and rapist who eventually abandoned her and her 5 kids.

No. 416033

>>415819
This thread is mostly for women who dint want to get married, of course you wouldn't feel pressured to do something you actually want, please read the room.

No. 416131

>>416033
nta but it's definitely possible to be someone who eventually wants to get married and still feel external pressure to marry and be bothered by it, for example if you want to wait until you're older or don't have a partner and people keep harassing you about it. But also a lot of women who want to get married actually want to get married in part because they have been indoctrinated so much into the idea of marriage since a young age and don't even realize that's why. My parents were against me watching TV as a kid and even when we did watch TV or movies they avoided showing me disney princess type movies or romcoms, and I'm surprised at how much of an effect it had, I was one of the only kids in my school who didn't talk about wedding dresses and prince charmings and whatever from elementary school age. The pressure doesn't have to be someone in your personal life telling you 'omg why aren't you married yet when are you getting married' repeatedly at age 25, it can take the form of a bunch of media and older people and your peers telling you in subtler ways that marriage is the way to live happily ever after and your wedding is the happiest day of your life throughout your younger years. Likewise there are probably certain people growing up in areas or demographics where marriage isn't culturally emphasized who probably don't feel much pressure at all, I just think that's a small minority of women.

No. 416258

>>415823
Damn you hate asian women kek

No. 416325

Anyone kind of feel like traditional social institutions like marriage just don’t seem to suit? I would just like to have a new bf every few years and keep the relationship open so I can still date future bf while I’m with current bf.

No. 416332

I think If the last three words were left off of the thread topic it would be more accurate. Most people see men who are 25+ that aren't married or making enough money to support a family as losers and rightfully so. We aren't talking about celebs or the guys at high paying office jobs. We're talking about the other 80 percent of undatable dusties with floor mattresses.



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