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File: 1523249391653.gif (696.68 KB, 874x1182, 1517810487714.gif)

No. 78523

>Think you have a great guy freind.
>later reveals that he wants a romantic relationship.
>basically just spoke to you so he could fuck your pussy.
>When you decline he never speaks to you again.

I have lost contact with most of the guys who I thought were genuinely my friends this way.

This is the worst sort of betrayal. I've come to find that a lot of women think they have male friends when, in reality, there is always an ulterior motive.

Do you think there is even a point in making friends with men?

Do you think men and women can be friends?

No. 78526

File: 1523250156620.jpg (19.24 KB, 500x380, 1424536912550.jpg)

In my personal experience, very rarely.

Men mostly befriend women thinking they might fuck us. Even if we are in a relationship, we are never fully respected in that sense.

I have three male friends, all of them have made it clear that I am not their type, hence I am not on their "fucklist". I'm fine with that, we have fun chatting, but I will never trust 100% in a man. I did it in the past and I regret it.

Men don't respect women the same way they will respect men. I rarely would trust anyone easily, much less a man.

No. 78527

I’ve had this happen to me too a million and one times. It would happen to my female friends too. I feel like most females have had this occur with them “friendzoning”. I’ve even known male friends that this has occurred to with females only being friends with them to date them or be there boyfriend. And it results in being rejected, and then dropping you and never talking to you again (bc they know they can’t fuck you so no use trying to pretend to be friends anymore) or staying your friend and awkwardly and uncomfortably keep hitting on you and continuously asking you out no matter how many times you say “no”.

I figured out eventually the best way Is, unfortunately, to either be in a serious longish term relationship (bonus points if bf is friends with your male friends, so they’ll be less likely to violate guy code) or to act extremely bro-ish/act like a frat dude around them. It tricks them into seeing you more on par with their guy friends. Even though you have tits, your personality is more like that of a male friend, so in their mind you’re a male friend and therefor unfuckable.

Like acting bro to the point of “what I couldn’t fuck her! Wtf I’m not gay!” dupery

It sucks but it’s suprisingly comfortable after a while. You get to spit in front of them, and say way more vulgar shit. Even if you’re not that kind of girl. It helps to try to be the most alpha, bro, most vulgar out of all the male friends. So not only do they not hit on you, and you can maintain a genuine true friendship w/ no agenda but they also respect your boundaries way more.

That’s the best and most effective advice I have experienced after many years of perfecting. Even to the point of turning creepy homeless/pervert construction works into bitches who don’t want to fuck me.

Was there some certain event or male friend that did this to you? I’m assuming that’s what caused you to make the thread?
What happened if you don’t mind me asking
/long post

No. 78528

>bonus points if bf is friends with your male friends, so they’ll be less likely to violate guy code

My point exactly, men will respect other men but can't respect a woman. Men are trash and I don't even know why I bothered being "one of the guys" in the past, just to be backstabbed, objectified, put in the fuckzone (as I would call, the other side of the friendzone, when the other person just wants to fuck when you want to be friends), not taken seriously, gaslit, used for emotional labour or money, because I thought we were friends I would be paid back, but men just don't give a shit about us and even as "friends" we are just devices for them to use and dump when they don't need us anymore.

No. 78530

File: 1523251305408.jpg (45.39 KB, 600x585, 1522895494038.jpg)

I've calmed down after making the thread, it just hurts to lose someone who I had a lot of history with.

It's not a very interesting story but what basically happened was, this guy had started talking to me a year and a half ago and slowly I began to trust and enjoy his company. However, just today he told me that he thought I was amazing, how much he valued the time we spent together, and then gave me a poem he wrote (was actually really good).

It was all super sweet but I didn't want to date him, what I wanted was a Freind and it killed me to turn him down because I didnt want our relationship to end.

I think men just don't want to fuck other men. Men don't really have standards as to what they are willing to date, wheras, women do.

No. 78533

Men do have standards otherwise you would see ugly men dating all the time. They won't date their own tier. They have high standards, on the level of bashing someone on the internet for having darker genitals or body hair.

Men don't want to fuck other men, yes, but when a woman says she is a relationship, it's like nothing. Very few will actually respect and take in consideration she is not interested.

No. 78535

We don't see ugly men dating because ugly women have standards. I think that men just don't and never will have the sexual market value women have in general.

No. 78536

Get out, robot.

No. 78537

This should be common sense. Why else would my situation of having to reject men be so universal to all women. A man will fuck anything, women won't.

No. 78538

File: 1523253191397.jpg (142.75 KB, 780x538, the-cast-of-its-always-sunny-i…)

I'm friends with men but it's because i wound up in a prexisting male friend group so nobody feels special and I don't get fuckzoned. Some of them think I'm hot but that's not a crime and I'm so gross and unhinged and neurotic around them that I think it turns everyone off from seeing me in a serious romantic light, I kinda feel like Sweet Dee. One on one male friendships I usually end up getting fuckzoned.

No. 78545

i'm in basically the exact same situation right now, we all even leased an apartment together. it's fun but sometimes frustrating because they don't really get certain parts of the ~~girl experience~~ or whatever. but we're all learning, it's good.

i'm still constantly on my guard around men, even with these guys for a loooooong time, and sometimes i don't feel as safe around some of my friends when they're drunk.

No. 78546

i have tons of cool guy friends. i am also engaged now so that helps. my super cool friend used to have a rule and would tell his friends to fucking leave me alone. he and i have a brother/sister type relationship and have never been attracted to eachother so it's good. i think it's rare tho.

No. 78547

Except it's not. Women have to go under a lot of things to be considered desired. Diet, makeup, hair, dress for their type, not too slutty but not too prude, can't be too crazy or too dull.

No. 78551

Sure we do those things to look pretty but that doesn't change the fact that we have have higher sexual market value. If you or I wanted a boyfriend it would take seconds,If I want sex I'll get it much easier than a man can. This is basic stuff.

Just because we put more effort into our looks dosnt somehow aide your point that me reject women more often because of high standards. It's always been the other way around, we do the rejecting most often because we find men less attractive on average than men do for women.

No. 78553

You could have a shitty robot tier bf in a minute, certainly true. But most women have standards, beauty, manners, stability, etc, you can't find that in most males.

No. 78554

Your a women alone with a group of men in an apartment? Why not room with women?

What are the odds they joke about gang banging you, or some other male oriented humour. I wouldn't like it unless one of them was my boyfriend.

No. 78555

My point exactly.

No. 78557

lol why are robots here?

No. 78561

I'd say it's important to differentiate from a guy who just wanted to fuck you and a guy who developed feelings for you. If I fell for one of my guy friends and he rejected me, I'd want to cut that off too. It's just painful and awkward. It's sad to lose a friend but you gotta respect that kind of thing. That's why friendships between men and women are tricky.

Of course, if he really just wanted a fuck he's better off out of your life, so it works out either way.

No. 78562

File: 1523261516079.png (298.87 KB, 445x450, 1C089775-2091-4C9C-B1DA-16DF50…)

>the fuckzone
>opposite of friendzone
Fucking genius that shit needs to be put in Webster’s dictionary

>used for emotional labor or money

Why the fuck are guys now-a-days using girls constantly for money. Or the girl has a job and fully supports their neet bf?
It used to be the complete opposite. And now I see girls all the time supporting their shitty bfs and using girls like sugar daddies, or begging for money. In the most manipulative emotional ways. Even other guys are warning girls on social media to never ever tell guys on the internet how much money you have, or what you make, or what job you, family class, anything financial and to fake poor and to just say you’re a broke student or something when they ask. And when the money or labor stops, poof & they’re onto the next sucker.

esp social media personalities, a guy who I talked to for a year who kept saying he cared about me and worried about me, would beg me for PayPal and streaming donations, even when I was in the hospital for surgery, an hour after I lost my job, when I had septicemia with a fever of 104, demanded I walk to western union and send him money for some bs lie, ended up passing out walking there and being ambulanced, with him blowing up my phone pretending he cared while in the same breath asking me to finish the western union “you better hurry anon I don’t have much time!” “Plz just send it and we’ll talk about it later promise” “I swear I’ll pay you back this time I HATE ‘borrowing’ money for a girl it’s soooooo embarrassing” but kept aggressively asking for more, saying I didn’t care if I didn’t, threaten to kill himself, give up his social media, never paid back, in the worst most manipulative way, pretending like he was sooo worried something awfulll had happened when I shut off my phone just to not have to hear him shamelessly beg or have to give him money. I felt so retarded/stupid and ghosted him permanently, he’s still doing it to other girls right as I speak

A youtuber was recently exposed for doing this to a fan with receipts, it was internal cringe in the worst way (it ended when he faked being beaten up by a loanshark saying he needed Money now and it turned out to be his friend and it was all fake) and according to recent statistics women have been growing in number of the gender that most supports their significant other, mainly men. Also “working for free” for boyfriends just to be cheated or dumped.

No. 78563

most loser men could get girlfriends on the immediate if they settled for dating within their own tier. you're telling us that if we settle for far below what we're worth, we can find a boyfriend quickly? AMAZING! any fucking body can manage that shit.

No. 78564

Lmao then you have incels who put 0 effort into their apparence, personality, or life goals but demand a 9/10 stacy that does everything they refuse to do and are outraged if it doesn’t happen in a minute. At least the women try and maintain themselves, and realize it takes more time for more quality. Theyre are men who think just like incels but at least maintain appearances and have a job and they get laid, even if they’re genetically ugly.

No. 78565

Women have it hard in this world; female friendships are unstable and hard to connect on interests and men don't even value frienship with you thus the invention of friendzone.

No. 78566

Of the word "friendzone" used negatively to make it clear.

No. 78567

I'm currently in the friendzone of my male friend. I feel like I'm doing something wrong.

No. 78568

Isn't it a good thing that your friend see you as a friend? Do you have any self esteem?

No. 78569

i agree, but i think the point is that that anon is interested in more with this guy. ideally, i think functional, healthy relationships DO and should come about as a result of friendship, but only if you're obviously both attracted to each other. i don't think relationships are worthwhile without developing a friendship first.

the problem is that these high on themselves loser men cannot cope with rejection and the concept of BOUNDARIES in general, and they assume that we have NOOOO idea what it's like for our male friends to not want to have sex with us. we do, but who cares if they don't want to fuck us, even if we want them? we generally pick up and move on and just value our friendship for what it is: friendship that isn't destined to be anything more than that.

like, the only men that are wanting to fuck ALL of the women they're friendly with are losers. normie men don't want to date all their friends.

however, i can see how it would be difficult to maintain a friendship w someone you're totally head over heels with, if they were very in your face about their sex life/romantic life.

No. 78571

I recently lost contact with a long-time friend after exactly this. He got mad because another mutual male friend liked me. This has happened several times already since I was a teenager, too. Sometimes they just cut contact and most times they get mad I won't date them.

I think men make fine friends for casual stuff like the ocassional hangout, but I refuse to trust them for serious stuff. Plus if they have few female friends they'll treat you like their mom and then cry and fall for you because you are so "special" and "treat the well".
Honestly, I think the problem is that men don't usually confide in their male friends about their problems, so when a woman helps them with that they go bonkers.

No. 78577

File: 1523275039718.png (105.26 KB, 500x397, sighs.png)

I had majority male friends growing up and none ever hit on me. I was actually friendzoned myself by one of them, kek.

I would say it's because I was ugly and strange, but I'm currently scrubbed up and healthier (maybe a solid 6 now) and still no one develops feelings for me. I work with mostly men at the moment and no one has ever shown interest. A few male strangers have been nice/nervous in an 'I'm attracted to this girl' way, but no one who I spend time with on the regular likes me that way.

Maybe I just give off bad vibes.

Also, my current best friend is a straight guy (and someone I've been friends with for ages) and I think it works because he's actually fucking emotionally intelligent. Some men aren't that way or weren't socialized to see women as people.

I also agree with what >>78561 said. Sometimes feelings just happen, and the guy didn't go into the friendship thinking 'every hole's a goal.' Sucks.

No. 78579

File: 1523278940059.png (207.11 KB, 255x292, f5083105bfd324d58599488645c3fd…)

I've always had male friends, not because i'm like GIRLS R DRAMA!!!type of person but my interests and type of conversations have always lead me to befriending males more easily than girls, but these days i'm so tired of trying to keep friendships with them
I try joining groups where males are like ''WE H8 ONLINE GIRLS WE'RE NOT ORBITERS'' etc cos even though they're mean sometimes it's like well at least they're not falling inlove with me or some weird shit just bc i talked to them for 2 days but whenever i start talking to any of them privately…it ends up happening
recent case being this guy I really enjoyed talking to, we spent like only 2-4hrs for like 3 days talking and watching a show together then when we finished the show he says he likes me
and now the friendship is ruined bc even though i really do enjoy talking to him i can't see him as romantic interest
It sucks bc i geniunely enjoy a lot of the conversations with males and even if they fell for me i kinda wish they'd like keep it a secret and just be satisfied with having friendship idk why they always have to try and take it to the next level or don't think that it could make both of us uncomfortable if it doesnt end well.
Another case of this happening recently aswell is me hearing about how my friend thought I wanted to date him because I played a few games with him for few days and talked to him often???
sorry for the rant but i'm so tired of this happening i just want friends i enjoy talking to without any weird shit happening but its so hard i've just ended up becoming a loner except for the cutie girls i talk to when theyre not busy tbh

No. 78580

i have a lot of guy friends, even close ones and long term ones

my secret formula was cutting ties with fucking everyone life threw me together with on random and moving onto people that are more like me, intentionally. i've had a lot of guys use me in high school and they can die tomorrow for all i care

No. 78581

A few years back I had two male friends who I met online and we had all planned to meet up because they lived only an hour away from me. They were best friends irl and had been since like grade one… we’ll call them boy A and boy B.
They both had a crush on me, but I’d tell them we were just friends etc… over time I did start to gain feelings for boy B. And we would get kind of flirty.
I would Skype privately with them both at various times or call and they both were aware it wasn’t like a ~special~ thing to skype privately…
one night boy B and I had planned a one on on skype and it went pretty late, and boy A signed on and saw us both online and assumed (correctly) that we were in a call. I kept my feelings for boy B on the DL because I didn’t want to hurt boy A’s feelings, so in calls with both of them I wasn’t overly flirty or suggestive etc.
However, boy A was sooooo angry that I was in a skype call late at night with boy B (even tho we’d done that together too and it meant nothing) that it turned into this massive fucking fight. Boy A stopped talking to me, and boy B told me he couldn’t talk to me either because he needed to save his friendship… I felt like shit cause I lost two great friends over nothing.
A year later boy A reaches out to me and we become somewhat friends again, although I was bitter over him ending our friendship over something so small …. I found out that he still wasn’t friends with boy B again and that I was the reason…. he also would show up to where I was living at the time unannounced so we could hangout because I kept blowing him off via text..
needless to say we’re not friends anymore lol

No. 78593

What OP says is true and has happened to me many times, but I've also had the chance to see that it's not always true. I have pretty close guy friends, some of them single, some of them in a relationship, and our relationship is 100% platonic. Some of them "tried" in a way before, but as soon as they saw it wasn't going to happen they didn't cut me out or anything. Not being an entitled manosphere-obsessed neckbeard also helps.

No. 78594

I have one close guy friend who is like my brother and who has never been interested in me and vice versa. All the others have been interested and bitter after realising nothing will happen, although they got over it and we are friends now.

Dunno why it worked out so well with my best guy friend. Maybe we look fairly similar so it would be creepy to be attracted to eachother? We have a pretty similar sense of humour and interests, so I am happy there is nothing other than friendship between us.

No. 78597

File: 1523288354839.gif (1.62 MB, 640x360, 1395983617427.gif)

I used to have mainly guy friends, but I lost all of the current ones due to my asshole ex.

Then I got mainly girl friends and it's so much better. Sure you won't click all the way, but there's an underlying mutual respect among each other and giggling at stuff together is nice. It's made me more proud of my gender, instead of arrogant about it (lol I'm the only girl here, amirite guys) with guy friends.

Used to think guys were easy to be friends with when it's actually the opposite. I just needed to get over my fear of talking to fellow women.

No. 78598

yeah, nah. Unless he told you he is gay, he wants to fuck you hard.

No. 78600

This happened to me as well anon. I was one of those "guys are so much better, I'm not like other girls" girls but after I actually made friends with other females I found them to be much more enjoyable, sincere and friendlier than the men I used to hang out with.

No. 78601

that's not necessarily true. you do realize there are guys that have certain types/don't necessarily want to fuck everyone? my fiance had numerous female friends that came onto him and wanted to take his virginity, but he wasn't into them and did only want the kind of friendship that's more common with females (more mutual emotional support). i've had guy friends that have said i'm too skinny for their taste, look too 'white' (from guy friends that prefer latinas), etc.

No. 78602

>That humble brag

I used to try to make friends with males numerous times just because I always felt like I have more common interests with them but I gave up. One thing that particularly annoyed me was how pissy and posessive they'd get whenever I would talk about my boyfriend or other male friends. Males have a hard time looking at girls as anything other than potential partners and I can assure that 99% of farmers' "male best friends" wouldn't hesistate for a second if they had the chance to fuck you.
Really, anons, save yourself the struggle and just find female friends. Not only they are less judging, posessive and annoying but they will also genuinely care about you - something I've never experienced from guys.

No. 78605

This tbh, I've had good male friends, the second they come to the realization they won't fuck you they cry and play victim

Once had several male friends cry and play victim because I got a boyfriend and claimed how I should have dated so and so who exposed his exes nudes because "he would have treated me better" like lmfao what's wrong with men

And male roommates are NEVER a good idea unless you have another female there,once had a male roommate, when we first moved in we had to sleep on one bed and he would always get really creepy and gross and try to touch me despite him having a gf, once I was watching streams and he started crying and playing victim because I didnt wanna fuck him despite revealing to me he wasnt always horny but did it for ego, later when I told him to stop stealing my shit and getting tickets in my car which he stole he kicked me out and claimed it was because I asked his friend if he was at their house

Men are the absolute worse, I wish they never exist

No. 78606

File: 1523292948729.gif (1.58 MB, 500x278, original.gif)

>male-female friendship is a myth
>feels bad man

No. 78608

He has a girlfriend, and before he got together with her he had a hardcore crush/kinda girlfriend. Never showed any interest in me. If he was interested in me he would have had plenty of time to show it, since we have been friends for 3 years now.

If he was even slighty interested in me, he wouldn't have been so genuinely happy when I started dating his best friend. All of my other guy friends got pissy. But not him, because he has no feelings for me.

No. 78610

if he has a girlfriend that's a different story then.

No. 78611

My fiancé was the same, he had tons of girl friends growing up, as his guy friends were all very surface level and never talked about real shit lol…. also he grew up very close to his sister and I think that can effect a mans ability to have a proper platonic relationship with other females. The girls he was friends with were actually all very similar to his sister, and all very different from me and the other girls he dated.
I do think it’s possiblw to have female-male friendships without wanting to fuck, and they can even survive if one has a crush on the other and gets over it…. it all just depends if they truly value you as a person lol

I had a guy friend who I was super close with and he was into me but he knew I didn’t feel the same at all…. once he got a gf we haven’t spoke (not for lack of trying from my side)
If it wasn’t for it being engrained in peoples heads that you can’t have opposite sex friendships than it’d be less of a big deal when u find out ur bf has a friend who’s a female (and in a relationship herself???)

No. 78614

I've never had this problem, but I'm not the type that's very popular with guys either. Besides one good internet friend I've met up with a couple times, I don't really hang out with men one-on-one for us to develop any real friendship.

How do you guys act around them when this happens?

No. 78615

Never experienced this - my 3 best friends are guys and they've been in my life since I was around 10 (24 now). All are straight and have / had girlfriends, none have ever made any kind of pass at me. I see then pretty consistently still, at least once a week.

I'd also wouldn't say I'm unattractive as I've been in several relationships myself, but they clearer aren't interested in me. Likely it helps that I've known them for so long, I suspect I've achieved some kind of surrogate sister complex to them.

No. 78619

Honestly, what's with the guy bitterness? Girls and guys can be friends with no feeling of awkwardness.. Maybe it's just because I study a male dominated major, but I've never had many problems of such nature.

Yes, some of my friends have had crushes on me, but they've been respectful and moved on when I wasn't interested or dated someone else. My guy friends are genuinely respectful human beings who don't see me as a piece of meat. They actually listen to me when we have conversations..
Perhaps if ALL guys have been acting like that to you, maybe you should see how you portray yourself to others.
Just my $0.02.

>inb4 a farmer says I'm ugly, wrinkly, obese kek

No. 78620

And perhaps you have been trying to be friends with guys who have less than honourable intentions, which doesn't mean all of them are scumbags.

No. 78621

I don't think it's fair to say that it's the woman's fault, plenty of guys are desperate and take any friendliness from a cute girl either as a sign they're star crossed lovers or as proof she's DTF. You can't really know if the guys is going to be delusional before knowing him a little.

No. 78622

Yes I agree, but anons saying that all guys want to get into their pants or that all of them are scumbags? That's what reels my mind.

No. 78624

it's not a humble brag. i come from a hispanic area and my hispanic guy friends pretty much only want curvier/thicker latin girls, not "skinny white girls". that's why i said taste plays into whether or not they are actually interested. people might assume anyone that isn't objectively hideous would be desirable to most/all men if they're friends, but it's really not the case.

No. 78625

I've tried to be friends with guys and it always ends up with le bang (initiated by them)

I am attractive but not "sexy" - small chest, feminine. They should be able to resist but Apparently Not. I don't talk about sexual things or try and initiate in any way.

Also have trouble (no trouble -making- but trouble enjoying) female friends because all they talk about is men but I like talking about vague concepts and "things", not people. Also a lot of competing re: Life achievements, appearance etc.

Men also seem to be gentlemanly online for a REALLY long time but then just jump my bones irl. Shit is disappointing. The ones who are gentlemanly in person don't seem interested in me enough to pursue a friendship so I'm kinda stuck.

No. 78627

Grew up pretty hideous and fat, so my story's a bit different but maybe still relevant.

Every guy I've ever befriended has made sure I know I'm ugly (without me coming onto them, because even if I did like them I was way too shy for that shit,) while also reminding me they could fuck me if they wanted to.

Like "oh, anon? Yuck, no way! She looks like a guy. If I wanted to hit that I would have already." That sort of thing.

So yeah needless to say I don't have guy friends these days. I'm less fat and hideous than I used to be but I don't doubt more of that shit would be in my future if I gave having guy friends another shot.

No. 78628

Just to add: Reviews from exes (unasked for)
-warm, friendly, good company
-intelligent, funny, good company

So it isn't a personality issue per se

No. 78629

makes a face those guys seem like shits

I'm wondering if there is some perfect equilibrium between being attractive but them being able/happy to be friends without trying for the sex or dismissing on sexual grounds

Or maybe just growing up together is the thing

No. 78634

I do have a couple genuine male friends but a lot of the time it just devolves into them asking me out and getting pissed at me or breaking off contact when I reject them, even if I try to do it kindly but firmly. I'm a lesbian and I always try and mention that as soon as possible so I don't get accused of leading anyone on and hopefully nip any potential crushes in the bud but even then I think a lot of guys view lesbians as something like a challenge. Though I really don't think it's impossible for men and women to be friends, but there's more potential for awkward situations.

No. 78635

I've lost several friendships with guys after they've confessed to me. It's awful, you really enjoy spending time with them but it's never the same after that. I have one long term close male friend but he just came out. Is it just something about testosterone that fucks with them? I've had female friendships that survived a failed romantic relationship.

No. 78636

I'm so glad about not having to worry if a friend falls in love with me, and I don't need to play video games to fit in either (I don't care about them much).

I also love talking about how men suck over some drinks too.

No. 78637

I've never had a male friend.
Girls can already be mean, but guys…

No. 78638

I had a friend of several years confess to me, I rejected him, he cried and it was awful. Anyway to preempt the inevitable friendship failure I purposefully distanced myself from him, basically stopped hanging out with him full stop and barely speak to him - blatantly ignoring messages, putting the bare minimum into responses, etc. I've been doing this for literally at least a year or two by now, but he still fucking tries to talk to me ALL THE TIME. He occasionally asks me to do awkward inappropriate things (like travel interstate for a concert, or inviting himself to a performance of mine which is obviously just for family and close friends to watch).

I'm sure he's still interested but he would have to be delusional to think I will ever want him, he's a 30 year old virgin nerd and not arrogant so I find it hard to imagine he thinks being persistent will win me over. I wish I got one of the guys who just ditch you because at least then I won't have to keep up awkward semi friendships over text. I don't want to be cruel so maybe one day he'll get the hint from my constant ignoring.

No. 78640

i have male friends because girls into my hobbies are generally nuts/attention whores. the "btw i'm a girl" type who derail everything. they also tend to be super insecure and have huge egos that makes them seemingly jelly of any attention any other girls get. i love all my girl friends a lot but they just don't like some of my hobbies.

No. 78641

I've vented to some friends about my ex and they always respond with "what an asshole, I would never do that, anon!"
I've never seen any of my female friends do that shit, I know some of them are just a bit insecure but it's getting a tad annoying.

No. 78643

God, that just sounds really annoying. It's like they want to assert that they'd treat you right, but insert themselves into your issues.

OT but a lot of my acquaintances from tumblr/older times are so, so, so egotistic. You can't tell them anything without an immediate
>oh yeah when IIIIII had that
> MY experiences with it
>this is how IIIIIII felt about it
It's so annoying, it's like they never learned how to conduct a proper, supportive conversation with active listening without making everything about them. It's not supportive at all to tell someone you're not feeling good and they're like "mood" or "lmao me too". It's insensitive.

No. 78648

I want him to be my boyfriend, but he doesn't want to be.

No. 78649

>Sure you won't click all the way
Why is that? I've never had a lot of friends, male or female, but why is it that you wouldn't click as well with other women?

No. 78650

nta but many women seem really pressured to not enjoy stuff fully. i have a lot of friends who are considered normie, but are super interested in my 'weird' hobbies/interests despite not sharing them 100%, it's like a flicker of light in their eyes that shows they want to break free of their mold, but they don't really. i have like 2 sane female friends who i 100% click with, but the rest are like shit weebs or normies and no in between for some reason.

No. 78661

I don't mesh too well with normal girls (ie, my current gal friends). I'm girly but I don't know much about makeup and gushing over Harry Styles isn't my thing.

Girls that have nerdy hobbies don't mesh well with me either. I'm nerdy but I'm not on that level of nerd.

It took me a long time to realize that you don't have to mesh to enjoy each other's female friendship.

No. 78665

Sounds like he has serious problems. You're not responsible for how he feels after having a strained relationship for years. Sounds like you tried and failed boundaries and he keeps abuses your "kindness"

No. 78675

A guy wants to get into your panties unless:
- He has a serious girlfriend when you first met, or
- You met him before hitting puberty (for men that's about 12 years old), or
- You showed him some obvious sign of long-term relationship (wear rings or tell them you have a serious partner; yes guys actually look at your hands if there any signs of relationships). He might stop contact afterwards.

Your friendship with male friend does not fulfill any of the criteria above? He wants to fuck you.

No. 78676

lol no.

No. 78678

Could you elaborate on that? This thread confirms almost all of it. Except obvious things like when he's gay.

No. 78679

you serious? just a quick scan is mostly people saying "i'm friends with guys no problem" and only the first few say they have issues. also, there's a difference between guy friends and friendly guys who just want to fuck you.

No. 78681

Then instead of a "quick scan", do a full scan of the thread. The original question was "Do you think men and women can be friends?" and here are most of the answers which show a leaning to yes or no:

Leaning no/strongly leaning no:

Leaning yes/strongly leaning yes:
>>78546 (but married)
>>78577 (but met before puberty)
>>78594 (but male friend has girlfriend)
>>78601 (but has fiance)
>>78614 (but does not hang out with men)
>>78615 (but met before puberty)

Feel free to add anyone I have missed. As it seems, only thee replies are not covered by the short list from >>78675, which unfortunately makes that list extremely accurate.

No. 78682

This is painfully accurate.
There is no such thing as "friendzone". There is only whiny babies that thought being friends gives you a free pass to someones knickers.

No. 78683

hey, miss us with that "maybe it's u" shit

No. 78692

dude, you even show that 1/3rd of the posts are yes and yet you're trying to twist them to get your point. and you also ignored 3 or 4 posts that expressed it without anything you could explain away. fucking autism

No. 78693

>Perhaps if ALL guys have been acting like that to you, maybe you should see how you portray yourself to others.

LOL what. How are you supposed to alter the genetic makeup of a guy's brain? I promise you all of us who only get sexualized by guy friends are not sitting in our panties giggling about how much we love dick at the time.

Concise Anon covered it nicely here: >>78681

No. 78712

anon you listed me as leaning no even though I think it's possible for men and women to be friends ?
in fact, i even said people who have it engrained in their heads that its impossible no matter the situation are a big part of the problem ..

i get everyone will have different opinions due to personal experience etc so there is really no right answer.

some men really do just wanna fuck, and some men really dont. theres no rule or guideline behind it.
if youi dont agree than thats fine but you look silly literally making your own little poll to prove your thinking.

No. 78714

Thanks anon, my bad. If I understood you correctly, from your experience with your fiance and for other reasons, you think that such friendships are possible. And also that someone broke off contact with you (i.e. not friends anymore) after he could not have a sexual relationship with you and moved on to another girlfriend. That puts you in the mixed block, i.e. in neither leaning yes/strongly yes or no/strongly no, which I have not listed.

>if youi dont agree than thats fine but you look silly literally making your own little poll to prove your thinking.

It might look silly, and that is indeed true, but the previous anon said that "only the first few say they have issues", which is clearly not the case. What is the best way to disprove something like that? It might look silly, but sometimes it is effective; I don't care if I am called autistic by other anons. Also, only by aggregating data and transcending from individual anecdotal stories one gets a broader picture.

No, I am trying to be honest and I am not trying to twist those posts to get my point.

My point is: I have provided a list of three criteria for determining if someone wants to put you in his "fuckzone", as someone else creatively phrased it in this thread. All parentheses in the second block show the application of these three criteria; plus there is one person who does not hang out with men (i.e. one does not even get to apply these criteria, as there is no one to apply these criteria on!).

So what of this could be called twisting in order to prove a point? It is a correct application of the previously laid out criteria.

And as you can see, only three replies do not fulfill any of the three criteria but still are leaning yes/strongly leaning yes. As explained in the beginning of this reply, if we take that one reply out, we still have 30 entries.

That is 3/30, or 10%.

I would say these three rules hold up pretty well, because – like it or not – it seems that the data does support it and the data does not care how one feels about it.

>and you also ignored 3 or 4 posts that expressed it without anything you could explain away.

Could you please elaborate or cite the post numbers? I did not post any mixed replies, as they are not leaning yes or no, as described in the original post. If I missed one, please reply.

Thank you for your kind input.

No. 78723

Unless your ugly and unattractive. I'd kill to have a guy want to be with me.

>Humble brag the thread

No. 78727

You know some guys are attracted to sweet personalities too. Don't lose hope anon.

No. 78728

You are not entitled to a guy's friendship just like they are not entitled to sex/relationships. Get over it.

No. 78729

No one is acting entitled tho? We're sharing our experience of men faking (or using) friendship as a mean to get into our pants.

No. 78730

None is acting entitled, fuckface, it's just that, if you act like a friend towards someone, the least the other side expects is friendship.

No. 78733


Alright, I'm going to assume you're incapable of reading comprehension or basic empathy and explain this for you. Don't worry, I'll use small words.

The only people in this situation who are entitled are the men who assume female friendship should lead to sex/a relationship, and then abandon their supposed "friend" like she's nothing when she won't fuck them. Women being upset that someone they assumed was their friend abandoning them over something as asinine as sex isn't entitlement, it's a real sense of betrayl. Putting your trust and platonic love into another person only to have the rug pulled out from under you with a "jk lol" is a shitty feeling. For some (not for myself, personally, as I can get over people with relative ease) this feeling lasts a very long time and can make it difficult to form new friendships/trust males.

If you want to complain about how women use men or whatever in a similar fashion, go literally anywhere else on the internet. This is a thread for the majority of women who have been tricked and hurt by this shitty, child-like behavior from men.

No. 78735

Idk what most of you were expecting. Generally speaking romantic relationships are as follows.


How else do you think people get to know eachother.

No. 78737


Found the robot. You gonna cry about it on r/redpill? Muh male discrimination? Poor baby. And people say women are too sensitive.

No. 78738

This post tastes like MRA virgin tears.

No. 78740

You can be friends with someone even if they don't want to date you. This thread is about guys exclusively wanting to fuck you and pretending to be friends with you just for that.

No. 78741

This is about guy faking friendship and not being honest with their intentions how fucking dense are you?

No. 78743

File: 1523382357718.jpg (37.75 KB, 600x381, 5b6.jpg)



No. 78745

Men don't usually want female friends. They only see women as potential mates. With few exceptions, a guy sees no reason to be your friend other than a chance at fucking you or a chance at dating you. If you kill that possibility he has no reason to keep being friends with a girl, so he'll leave. Men are trash like that.

No. 78754

Ew you pig, if you only want sex ask her if she wants too and if she doesn't just fuck off, you'll most likely look like a disgusting creep, how weird to befriend someone just because you want to shag them.

No. 78755

Hit on her or ask her on a date. You just said fuck, you don't need to become her bff just for a bit of sex.

No. 78766

Actually, men have higher standards than women while women tend to be more realistic, though they judge appearance, etc. harsher than men. It's an interesting study by OkCupid, I'll have to find the link.
Funny, I'm in a male dominated major and and I am completely alone because every friendship or fuck, even acquaintanceship with a male ends up with it being awkward because they want me. Some have responded like psychos, some have responded respectfully, but at the end of the day, I'm alone. Eh. The few girls in my STEM major tend to be very masculine and don't like to talk to other girls, it seems. I come off as very feminine and when I've said I have certain "nerdy" interests (that tbh are mainstream) people don't believe me.

lmao, no one is saying they are ENTITLED to a friendship with a man. They're just saying it sucks that you care about a person in a certain way and then it turns out a person was only interested in you for one thing.

What really sucks is that telling some guy you just met "btw I'm not looking for a relationship" is considered pretentious of you, but if you turn down a guy and you've talked like, maybe 3 times, you're an asshole who leads him on.

What's also crazy to me is that even if you say you're with someone and even if you're lesbian (I've been in both cases), a lot of guys won't even care.

No. 78768


That's not what I made this thread about. I made the thread about losing friendships over guys wanting relationships.

No. 78769

nta but this thread is shit, take this bitching to the man-hate thread, we don't need more complaining starting up about inane shit. we get it, you hate men, get over yourselves.

No. 78770

also i'm super surprised you're surprised at people not wanting platonic relationships with you. platonic relationships are hard to maintain normally, and many women end up thinking they've caught feels, so it's obvious men, who are kind of dumb can't juggle that if women can't even.

No. 78775

If they hated men why would they get so attached to these guy friends, or even make them, in the first place?

No. 78778

I had a tight group of guy mates in highschool, one started buying me gifts but also pick on my appearance etc. we fell out when i got a serious bf who was a vegetarian, he would literally throw meat at him and it was cringe. I ended up kissing 2 of the other guys years apart, basically after those shenninagans those guys weren't my friends anymore lol.

Since highschool I've just been friendly with guys in class or work but not endeavouring to hang out with any of them outside of those places and if we do it would be as a group of people. I've even noticed some of the guys you talk with once they get girlfriends they focus more on their male friendships.

There are my boyfriend's guy mates I'll see occasionally but I wouldn't hang out with them alone.

Pretty much every platonic guy friend I thought I had hit on me at one point. I even had my primary school guy best mate hit me up recently and I thought he was gay.

No. 78784

the man-hate thread is for bitching about why men suck, which is what they're doing here, plus there are a few people who are cherrypicking and assume their personal experience is everyone else's and that literally everyone just wants to fuck you. like no, get over it. sorry the men you try to befriend suck.

No. 78786

File: 1523401412763.jpg (23.78 KB, 225x350, 987793.jpg)

No. 78792

>Do you think men and women can be friends?
I'm a guy and I have tons of female friends. So I would have to say yes. They can.("male here")

No. 78794

i mean, you're not WRONG, but expecting men who claim to be your friend to actually act like a friend is a lot different from expecting sex from female friends and even female acquaintances/strangers.

No. 78796

>I'm a guy

No. 78797


In my experience absolutely not. Most of my close friends are males, and of those males most of them are in long term relationships. I find the idea of moving from friend->lover super disturbing because friendship is based on the safety of assuming neither of you have ulterior motives, especially (straight) male-female friendships. I can accept that some healthy relationships start from this but I can't imagine it for myself. Almost everyone I've dated I've met and shortly after established that I was interested in dating, there was no long period of platonic "friendship", the motives and attraction were made clear from the start. This is why I prefer online dating, everyone is very clear about their objective. My partner and I made very clear on the first date how many kids we want, how soon we want to by a house etc because why waste time? I've only had one male friend ever "confess his love for me" and I reacted extremely angry and disappointed. He's one of my closest friends, had been for years up until that point, and he should have fucking KNEW BETTER than to lay that bullshit on me. I accept that he's just socially retarded and thought the right thing to do was tell me even though he knew I would never date him, but it was so inappropriate and unnecessary. Hollywood needs to stop romanticizing that situation, it's so cringe.

No. 78799

Impossible, right?

No. 78801

i'm sure you're telling the truth but it's clear you haven't read the rules before posting

No. 78803

"Do not announce your gender or post in a "male here" Oh wow, didn't know this was the female version of r/incels. That's a stupid rule. Especially since my sex was relevant to the question.

No. 78804

lol as if that's exclusive to incels and girls who say they're girls on any chanboard don't get immediately called attention whores and GOTIS.

anyway i don't disagree that it's not that big a deal in this type of thread, but it's the rule.

No. 78805

That's true. Guys are stupid. You'll have lonely incels in a Discord server, and as soon as a girl joins the guys either try to get nudes or get her kicked.

No. 78806

Hey at least you understand. It's not forbidden to divulge your sex in any way ever, but if you say things like "I'm a guy" to preface your posts you're taking a risk. Just like how blogging is against the rules, but there's some instances where it's not a big deal. But if you take that risk, you're always liable to get banned for it

No. 78807

Good thing I'm a risk-taking Chad then. Living on the edge!!1

No. 78809

It's the same level as annoying as when a girl on 4chan is like "btw girl here~". I understand why sometimes people feel it's prudent to mention it, but it's just unnecessary.

Also, no one uses chad/stacey here seriously. We're not in the habit of redpilling.

No. 78810

>girl on 4chan is like "btw girl here~
I agree. But to be fair I don't care about it when it's relevant.

No. 78816

>It's the same level as annoying as when a girl on 4chan is like "btw girl here~".
Eh, I think it's more annoying here. Lolcow is a lot smaller and much more directly aimed at a female userbase, we have an actual rule saying that men can't point out their gender whereas it's just a cultural expectation there. Not to mention ~girl here~ posts do tend to get a lot of genuine attention from thirsty nerds, but most people here legitimately don't want or care about male opinions.

No. 78818

File: 1523430224458.jpg (189.05 KB, 1079x593, 1522900534001.jpg)

Sounds like you don't care about the correct ones.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 78819

I've had a male friend since 2nd grade (both of us are 24 now) and somehow it never became a thing. I suppose because it was such a young friendship it turned more into a sibling feeling. Even when we are both single the idea of any sort of sexual contact has been very bleh. That being said I think this is a rare case that is contingent on the early childhood meeting.

No. 78852

>have higher sexual market value.

Lauren Southern, that you?

>a boyfriend would take seconds, sex is easy to get

Oh, nope, just a robot.
Hey robot, you could increase your "sexual market value" too if you'd settle for fatties, autistics, and uggos too. Just like how women drop their standards if they want a quick bf and shit sex.

No. 78853

You're really not helping the case for your own gender here, sir.

It's definitely possible… I'm learning that you just have to be careful and pay attention to any red flags that they might be interested in you. Like, if they start calling me cute, they're out.
I lost two guy friends last week, people I've known for almost a decade… It sucked. But looking back, I can see the signs of their fuckboiishness. I think what it comes down to, is that men are okay, but fuckbois have no self control and will fuck you over for a quick hump.

No. 78861

File: 1523475040114.jpeg (67.25 KB, 370x483, 7F080DE5-EA64-4C1A-BD00-E3B4B5…)

I agree. I think personality/morals and who the guy is does factor into a guy genuinely being your friend and guy only pretending to be your “friend” to fuck you.

You have factors that lower the fuckzone:
1) long term relationship/engaged/married
2) short term bf, if they’re friends w/ your guy friend(s)
3) masculine girl/act like “on of da guize”/bro-talk
4) knowing the male as a young child
5) the male having a gf (bonus points: longterm) (extra if you’re friends with her)
6) gay/bi
7) being in a close “group” of male friends (being the Dee in its always sunny) as opposed to one-on-one
8) having a brother/sister relationship
9) father/daughter type relationship only works if they’re an older godfather type
10) mother/son type only works if you are older than male (bonus: you aren’t his only female friend)
11) the male friend has several other female friends/experience with female friends
12) you’re ugly
13) casual friendship as opposed to serious
14) longtime coworkers
15) male is anti-orbiter/emotionally intelligent
16) roommate with group of close guy friends/with all male band-mates (instead of you and 1 other guy)
17) Long term platonic pen pal/internet friend
18) Pre-existing family friend/siblings friend
19) Drug user/drug dealer/criminal male friends (bonus: long term associates, strictly business-type, or combo of 1-18, not creepy)
20) single straight male, attractive, your age, who is a combo of above, who treats other girls with respect, and wants a genuine friendship (RARE unicorn)
21) didn’t meet them on social media/know them for short period

I would think of more but I’m really tired. There is always the rare exception for the rule, which is the reason for #21
Anyone have any others to add? Or what NOT to do (red flags)/things that increase the fuckzone?

>fuckzone, fuckzone, FUCKZONE

god I love that word, compliments to the anon who made that.

No. 78862

*There is always the rare exception for the rule, which is the reason for #20

Sage 4 typo

No. 78863

>tfw always the Dee, never the Waitress

No. 78892

Also, if he's your ex and wanted the relationship to end, but genuinely wanted to stay friends

No. 78893

You're not missing out on much cause charlie just pump n dumped her and didnt give a shit afterward. It's a surprisingly good reflection of reality. You really don't wanna be the waitress, you're only valuable till you put out. Whereas Dee has fun casually hanging out and gets treated as a person/bird instead of walking vagoo. I love her scenes with Mac when they're trying to act tough

No. 78894

yeah plus charlie doens't even know her name or anything about her other than basic external things. being worshipped and obsessed over might seem flattering and nice when you're not used to attention like that, but you end up realizing how disgusting and dehumanizing it feels to be worshipped for an empty flat fantasy version of yourself that someone's dreamed up instead of being appreciated for who you really are.

No. 78903

if you want to be anyone, you should want to be artemis

No. 78904

This thread reads like it has been written by literal aliens with extremely odd ideas about human interaction.

No. 78907

girl neckbeards are aliens, anon.

No. 78909

Eh I've had genuine guy friends, but they've all been gay so ofc there's no president of wanting to bang. That or losers who know no one wants to fuck them anyway… wow that sounds terrible. But I'm sure if I hung out with them in private they would try it on regardless.

>roommate with group of close guy friends/with all male band-mates

This, my best friend has lots of close male friends and they are all either band/roommates of her boyfriend's band or guys from the circle of bands they play with. I always thought the stereotype was that dudes in bands are scum, but from what I've seen if they are all super close (as usually the case) they won't try anything with their bandmates girlfriends.

So yeah its possible, but its case of what the guys like same with literally anything else. Also if they are older its less likely… befriending a girl just to fuck her is pretty young dude-bro thing too, that behavior stops late twenties when people start to settle down.

No. 78911

No I don't think so
Every male i've tried friendship with relationship-zoned me except my old best friend but even he relationship-zoned me for like a week or so before i told him I dont feel the same and I'm scared this would hurt our friendship.

No. 78915

File: 1523515299899.png (35.16 KB, 499x338, image.png)

>be in online group
>one of the few girls
>have few guys talk to me, we play video games, sometimes in groups
>some guys end up coming to me for advice, just to talk
>soon few start gaining feelings for me

I don't know what I did, I wanted to be a good friend. I wish things were back to normal… because this is all so overwhelming. I just wanted camaraderie.

No. 78916

They want penis penis funtime. Just ignore it

No. 78919

I don't understand this thread. If you were befriended with an attractive man, wanting to fuck him wouldn't mean the only reason you talk to him is to have sex, right? You would probably also find him interesting for what he says, his hobbies, etc. But he is also hot, so you also want to fuck him.

The thing is quite simply that women find only few men sexually attractive while men find most women sexually attractive. So men are going to go thorugh scenario #1 much more often than you are, even though I am convinced that any girl would go through scenario #1 granted she finds the guy she is talking with attractive. It just doesn't happen most of the time with guys so you don't notice that it's something that you'd be doing as well.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 78922

I think majority of people here have a problem with the guys who will throw hissy fits and not want to be friends anymore when they realize you don't want to fuck them or keep bringing it up over and over until you have to end the friendship. Thinking your friend is hot and that you'd hypothetically fuck them isn't a big deal.

No. 78924

what >>78922 said. i'm also pretty sure you are a big ol dude yourself :^)

No. 78927


Nobody here is saying that being attracted to a friend is bad. They are saying devaluing a human being to a potential fuck while pretending to be their friend, then losing their damn minds when they are rejected, throwing that supposed friendship out the window, is bad.

No. 78933

For example:
-The guy who pretends to be your friend for years, so supportive and platonic, and the whole time they're waiting for you to let your guard down, just so they can touch your butt.
-The guy who you traveled cross country with years ago, who has a girlfriend, sending you dick pics out of nowhere and expecting you to be down to 'DtF'.
-The friend who listens to all your problems, and claims 'they're attracted to you but our friendship is so strong that it's more important', who suddenly isn't a friend when you get a boyfriend, and breaks down crying at the mention of other men.
-The friend who talks about hooking up with women, but if you mention that you hooked up with someone who isn't him, he gets offended and leaves in a huff.

It's just a pattern.

No. 78936

i've literally never had this happen and never had it happen to my other friends. why are you guys becoming friends with shitty neckbeards?

No. 78937

File: 1523538548258.png (126.79 KB, 400x551, 1476806457405.png)

>it never happened to me so it doesn't happen with anyone

No. 78938

>i've had it happen so it happens to everyone

see, i can do that too.

No. 78939

NTA but why are you being a cunt to someone because their experience is different? The thread is to share experiences, yet you seem so fucking triggered.

No. 78950

What with all the bitter people in this thread? Just because you didn't experience this kind of thing doesn't mean that girls who've experienced it only befriend neckbeards, it's not cool to blame the women who end in that kind of situation… Turn in down a little guys.

No. 78952

>that humble brag
wew. stopped reading your post there. stop being so insecure and lose some weight.

No. 78969

I can see how people skimming this thread might interpret the posts as man-hating and want to jump in to defend their own male friends. But it's shitty to just dismiss everyone's negative experiences by blaming women for making friends with neckbeards, especially because it's definitely not just online neckbeards that do this shit.

No. 78975

yeah lol it's happpened to normie friends of mine who have never even heard of neckbeards. it's just shitty immature guys and they can blend in anywhere

No. 78977

>even though I am convinced that any girl would go through scenario #1 granted she finds the guy she is talking with attractive
women still tend to view people who are attractive to them as people. more women don't sperg out on men who reject them, because they recognize they can't control men, whereas men feel entitled to get a date. they objectify girls way more than the opposite.

except it mainly happens to me with normies or incognito normies at the very least

No. 79012

>women still tend to view people who are attractive to them as people.

Yes. Exactly. The same cannot always be said the other way around.

I think the stealth element of pretending to be your friend for potential lay; or even being a friend for years and then suddenly sending a dick pic, the point is it's all disappointing when you WANT to think well of men. This is not man-hating.
It's I can't believe you pretended to be my friend/you went that far- all for the chance of sex? (ref this post: >>78933 )

Women just can't relate to that and it's also a bit worrisome in the suggestion of "tricking" you into it. There's a lot to it. idk. All I know is it isn't humblebragging and is not nice to experience

No. 79014

>because they recognize they can't control men
I think it's also because women feel the burden is on us to be attractive to men. Men feel the burden is on women to be attracted to them. We get rejected and think 'shit, I need to improve my looks/personality', men get rejected and think the woman needs to lower her standards.

No. 79017

I knew I was forgetting something, I think that's spot on, too.

No. 79019

the main issue you seem to miss is that these people probably aren't just pretending, feelings don't happen immediately, and anyone who's gotten feels for their male friends should realize that. some people might not have bad intentions. you also seem to forget that men are taught specific things, like what women are too. like >>79014 said, men are taught this, just as we're taught that rejection is out fault. many of you guys seem to assume that men should be smarter than they're taught, while also admitting we're taught shit as well that we should know better than to think.

i think the issues are more a matter of how the two genders are taught to act towards eachother, and only when people can break that mold does it work, but most people, men and women are chained to their expectations, and faulting one or the other is stupid…

No. 79020

>feelings don't happen immediately

My male work colleague (attractive with a girlfriend) "All men imagine what it'd be like fucking every new girl they meet"

fucking is not feelings. The mistake people make is "*woman feels/thinks ~thing~ so man feels/thinks the same*". Not a great assumption to make, and always disproven at some point. Men and women are different and we shouldn't hold them to the same standards, or project behaviors onto them that aren't there (e.g conflating feelings with fucking)

It's biology and psychology. Not just "nurture". I guarantee some boy who was raised in a cult, or lived in a hut in the woods til adulthood, would end up reverting to typical male behavior. Just because of how he is programmed by testosterone and sex drive. Maybe the friendships are real - the problem is the readiness to set those friendships aflame in a pyre for the chance of some sex.

No. 79022

please don't shit up the thread with this garbage.

No. 79024

>can't think of an argument against what I wrote
>lalala I don't wanna hear it

No. 79025

Like I didn't realize we are only allowed Oprah Winfrey-condoned opinions in thread. Only lovely nice things here!

No. 79033


> "All men imagine what it'd be like fucking every new girl they meet"

that's the stupidest shit I've ever read. Not every woman is attractive to every man. Or are you suggesting men want to bang women who remind them of their sister? Or their mom? Or someone ugly or obese? Besides how exhausting that would be considering people meet new people every day, that doesn't even make sense.

It's biology for men to want to reproduce with attractive women, not for them to visualize sex with every woman.

No. 79034


I mean the incest and bbw categories in porn prove your first paragraph wrong…actually this guy would also joke about wanting to bang my mom (who he'd never seen) so

I think it's fun for them. More virile men (aka this guy who most of lolcow would think was hot) are probably thinking about it a little more often than a homebody. But I don't doubt it happens.
Remember the "spread the seed" thing, given the opportunity men would sleep with any woman who would take him. I don't know of anyone remembers Russel Brand, but he has said he's slept with 1000 women. A few of them appeared on a documentary to talk about it and were like 3-4/10s even though I've seen RB in real life and he's very handsome.*
a sex addict (reformed) but is a good example of the extremes that are possible.

*I am not one of the 1000

No. 79036

Another good example is Screamin Jay Hawkins who is said to have fathered 57 children. He seemed to barely age in decades so…virile man category.


Going off topic a bit but just making the point that given the chance, a virile man will take it, and it's doubtful every one of them will be a babe

No. 79039

get this shit out of the thread. you already tried this pseudoscience bs in the anti-mom thread.

No. 79040

also you realize that if you make these claims about men, there are similar claims that are true about women, right? not seeing any of those. oh right, this shit is just for show to shit on men. go back to the man-hate thread.

No. 79041

File: 1523595632008.jpg (105.1 KB, 702x1000, MV5BMTUxMzA2Nzk0N15BMl5BanBnXk…)


>Remember the "spread the seed" thing, given the opportunity men would sleep with any woman who would take him.

No. This just isn't true at all. Go get some male friends and talk to them like human beings, not bizarre sex robots.

>Russel Brand… he's very handsome


I don't trust your taste in men at all now. I doubt your coworker is even attractive at this point.

And just because some people are into fat chicks or incest doesn't mean its every guy. That's insane.

No. 79044

Totally unrelated to the thread, but people do tend to be attracted to people who remind them of immediate relatives in sone way. Both because people with similar genes to you tend to be attractive and some subconscious shit about how the people you grow up around are your first reference point for how you see other people. Kinda creepy but enstranged siblings or parents/children who didn't get the chance to be Westermarck-ed have a high chance of feeling attracted to each other if they meet as adults.

No. 79045

He's sexy irl, how'd you think he got all the chix? I saw him in maybe 2008 so I can't speak for now but animal attraction/magnetism is a thing. There's a singer I like who everyone admits is sexy in person but not in photos.

Coworker was muscly and tall with a nice face. Was a good day when I accidentally walked in on him topless in the unisex toilets where we got changed into our uniforms

No. 79047

>women still tend to view people who are attractive to them as people. more women don't sperg out on men who reject them, because they recognize they can't control men, whereas men feel entitled to get a date. they objectify girls way more than the opposite.
I agree with this, not just because of my own experiences but because I see that pattern repeated when I hear about other women's experiences as well. Not that there aren't or can't be women who sperg out about being rejected, before anyone comes at my throat for not specifying that. This happened to me awhile back:
>become acquainted with a new friend group
>quickly develop a 1 on 1 friendship with this guy
>he's very supportive
>develop romantic interest in him
>confess my feelings to him
>he doesn't feel the same way, politely turns me down
>inevitably feel hurt, but respect his wishes

It was like ripping off a band-aid, I quickly got over it after that. In hindsight our friendship wasn't really ever the same after that, but I have an aloof personality and sometimes I don't realize I'm distancing myself before it's too late. I understand how that may come across badly. If he came back into my life today I wouldn't have any qualms about resuming a friendship with him though. I never held anything against him.
Now then there was this:

>a couple months later in same friend group

>start getting closer to a different guy
>he shows interest in me
>I'm hesitant, but I go along with it because I like him too
>things quickly develop between us
>he tells me that he isn't interested in anything "serious" though
>again, hurt but I respect his wishes
>kindly ask that we keep our relationship platonic henceforth
>he keeps making awkward passes at me
>keep turning him down
>he acts really hostile towards me for that

I was pissed off for a long time and it took me awhile to realize why. My humanity was completely disregarded in that scenario in which I couldn't even be granted the same amount of courteousy I initially put forth. To this day he probably thinks I'm some type of evil witch seductress for rejecting him.
>inb4 hurr it's your fault for talking to neckbeards
He's a very intelligent and mature person other than that. People aren't black and white, a lot of men just can't properly deal with rejection with due respect for the other person as a human being.

No. 79048

File: 1523599074802.jpg (182.3 KB, 800x592, photomagic(1).jpg)

>And just because some people are into fat chicks or incest doesn't mean its every guy. That's insane.

Not every guy, no, but also not a laughable concept…


No. 79054


are you guys retarded? porn is not reality. I like teacher-student porn. I've never been attracted to any of my actual teachers and thinking about them naked is pretty gross. It's fantasy.

No. 79055

so what? by this logic you'd have to defend pedophiles jacking it off to kiddie porn, it's just fantasy right?

No. 79056

>women still tend to view people who are attractive to them as people
>My humanity was completely disregarded
>a lot of men just can't properly deal with rejection with due respect for the other person as a human being.
I find these statements deeply ironic since they are said in a thread where men are routinely dehumanized into a mass of walking erections with little to no individuality.

For instance in your first case the breaking of the friendship is because of your personal faults and in the second one because "a lot of men just can't properly deal with rejection".

No. 79057

>For instance in your first case the breaking of the friendship is because of your personal faults and in the second one because "a lot of men just can't properly deal with rejection".
Yeah, because there's a stark difference in behavior? Like, I said he acted very hostile towards me when I stuck to my guns about what the both of us agreed would be best in the long run. How is that not taking rejection badly? He had the nerve to act like a hissy little bitch about it when I put in the effort to be understanding of his position, which I did in the first example as well. I don't hold any ill will over being rejected, but many men can't bring themselves to do the same. It's not "dehumanizing" it's simply making an observation.

No. 79059

Not really. Teacher-student is a role-based fantasy, pedophilia is a physical attraction to kid's bodies.

No. 79060

It's more like pedophiles jacking off to "daddy's girl" porn where a grown woman acts like a little girl.

No. 79061

Maybe I was unclear but what happened is pretty irrelevant to the point I was trying to make. I meant that the way you come across is that if anything wrong happened in the first case it was because of your personal faults and not because of your membership in a huge and extremely diverse group X. In the second case you do not attribute the issues to the guy's personality but to his membership in the huge and extremely diverse group Y.

It is the same kind of thinking you sometimes see in /pol/ discussions about crime: criminal act by a white guy happened because the person in question made a bad judgement personally, criminal act by a black guy happened because he is a "nigger".

No. 79063

>if anything wrong happened in the first case it was because of your personal faults and not because of your membership in a huge and extremely diverse group X.
Nothing wrong happened after that, things just got awkward and petered out from there.
>In the second case you do not attribute the issues to the guy's personality but to his membership in the huge and extremely diverse group Y.
Maybe because that wasn't even close to being the first time I've had to deal with some petty little fuckboy who huffed at me because he heard the word "no." Maybe because many other women have multuple experiences which are some variation of that.
If that's such a problem men should start flipping the script because there's nothing "hugely and extremely diverse" about how they tend to behave. Just more of the same ol' shit.

No. 79073

Don't engage with robots or handmaidens. These two will stretch any argument to make it look like women are the villains in every single case. It's a waste of time.

No. 79113

no one ITT is handmaidens or robots you nut. not everyone who doesn't think men are walking penises is either of those things. you people sound so fucking paranoid and eager to shut down real debate. saying that women have shit men in their life, but that it's not everyone's experience is not blaming anyone.

No. 79116

What are you saying? No one thinks men are walking penises, people are sharing their experiences with some men, what even is the point in coming in this thread to post "not all men"? How can you debate something that someone experienced?

No. 79118

anon, people are literally saying that a few posts above. and i'm sure the idiot sperging about that is the same one claiming robots and handmaidens. >>79020 is where she really starts. and as far as debate, the topic of the thread is literally do you think men and women can be friends. it's not just about experiences, but people who claim they can and who are trying to have discussion keep getting dogpiled by man-hate shit.

No. 79119

I don't see how people disagreeing with you is dogpiling you, but I can understand how frustrating it can be to read so many opinion you disagree with. Maybe just hide the thread?

No. 79120

I'm actually going to agree with >>79118. The anon trying to talk about the "psychology of men" and saying they are hardwired a certain way was super embarrassing. And I also think that much of the thread was trying to ignore or shut down anons saying they have male friends who don't want to fuck them. Many replies are telling them that the men actually do want to fuck them and are pretending. That feels pretty invalidating and disrespectful to anons who have had good luck with those friendships. I think the "hurdur don't be friends with neckbeards" argument is stupid as well, but I see much more of the replies having to do with positive experiences around men being shat on, which just makes the whole thread seem like a thinly veiled man-hate thread, which obviously isn't OP's intention. I just don't get why people seem so triggered over people having differing experiences, good or bad.

No. 79121

ffs it's not about seeing differing opinions, it's shit like >>78597 having >>78598 response and then >>78602 bitching about humblebrag. if you think that everyone ITT is just sharing experiences and being cordial you clearly didn't read the thread. most of the 'i have male friends' stuff has that kind of shit response, or people trying to justify it away with "it's cause he has a gf" or "cause you had a bf", when the same people will claim that men don't care about loyalty at all.

No. 79122

I mean it's only two example of shitty posts in a 170+ thread and they've already been called out.

No. 79123

i'm not going through the entire thread to fucking explain my point. why are you defending this shit so hard? you also ignored the crazy person talking about "all men want to fuck every woman". i hate that this board has become so shitty.

No. 79124

I think the conversation was going well until some farmers started crying NOT ALL MEN and blaming the women for ending up "girlfriendzoned", obviously claiming all men want to fuck all women in every situation is retarded too.

No. 79125

>anon makes a point
>it's just one point

Just let it go anon, I'm someone who has had every male I knew, let alone were friends with, trying to fuck me and I even can see how salty people seem about the anons who have good relationships with men.

No. 79126

lol no it wasn't. the first fucking post was ALL MEN WANT TO FUCK ALL WOMEN. like i said already. it wasn't until after those kinds of anons were ITT that the "not all men" people were here. and many of them were robots. also, i personally think it's fine to tell people that not all men are like x in this kind of thread. obviously blaming someone for someone else's feelings is shitty though. i just am starting to think that many anons on this board and /ot/ want to cultivate this man-hate thing as of late. i know we've always had misandry threads and the like on /ot/ but when anons are going into unrelated threads bitching about how 'all men are pedos' or 'men are never satisfied by a woman's looks' when it's not related to relevant, it's cringy.

and listen, i'm not trying to say anyone's experience is wrong, and i've had shitty experiences too, but there's a real level of toxicity that comes with some of these anons that makes me wonder if they're trolls.

No. 79138

I can tell on the street when they look at me they all just want to fuck me. Each and every one of them.

No. 79143

Is your argument "this thread isn't going the way I want" or?

No one here is man-hating. We have male friends (or tried, see OP) or have boyfriends. We want healthy fulfilling relationships with men. We like men.

Not every opinion you read or hear will align with your own. Dismissing all alternate opinions as "hate" is borderline SJW behavior.

No. 79144

i wasn't comparing fetishes. i was a critical of the "porn is fantasy so everything goes & it's allright" argument

No. 79148


Nobody made that argument.

No. 79160

Ikr they make it so obvious, it's disgusting. Why can't they control themselves? Primates have more class than them.

No. 79162

File: 1523652932581.jpg (203.2 KB, 923x633, VGAINA.jpg)

Can you handle the truth?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 79169

I can't, personally.

No. 79170

I'm sorry to break it to you honey, but I think you're not desirable enough.(shit baiting)

No. 79171

If a drunk on 4chan said it, it must be true

No. 79172

My "friend" literally asked my bf if he can fuck me

No. 79173

Oh, I love this post so much. And by love I mean it infuriates me with it's idiocy. The way it's parroted and spread around and lauded by men as the epitome of truth and accuracy is hilarious.

So this guy has niche social retard hobbies and the women he meets at parties don't conveniently share his obscure interests. He only has one friend who does, from the sounds of it, and they are just skype friends. He makes no mention of whether or not men at parties know anything about Boba Fett and Speed Force, he just wants to go home and talk to his singular friend about it. How in the actual fuck does this lead him to concluding that WOMEN are the boring ones? Not the guy who goes to a party expecting women there to want to talk about his niche hobbies, even though he apparently can't find more than one friend outside parties to discuss them with? The guy who can't even fathom being entertained by anything else? The guy with so little social tact that he doesn't understand parties are more for superficial discussion than delving deep into hobbies unless you really click with someone, and there's a very high chance that women are holding back from talking about their niche interests there too since they don't generate good conversation with strangers? Nerds can be so arrogant and delusional, not even normie guys judge women at parties for this shit.

No. 79174

I like how he starts off polite-ish and descends into a rage as it continues.

No. 79175

Welcome to current year

No. 79176

Thanks robot, but this board is for girls.

No. 79177

You captured everything that was wrong with that post very eloquently.

Reasons why he can't find nerdy women:
-They don't go to the kind of parties he is going to
-They are avoiding niche conversation at said parties
-They are pretending not to like this stuff so he leaves them alone

Star Wars is not a niche interest anyway, so it sounds like a 4Chan Anon problem and not a woman problem

No. 79179

I can relate to this. Occasionally I'll find myself at a normie enough party/gathering and maybe I want to talk about my niche interests, but there's no one ever there who would truly appreciate them. Sure, I play some type of video games, but guys take that to mean you play their type of video games. I have nothing to say in a group talking about Overwatch or the latest FPS or whatever else.

He sounds like he wants to be able to spout racist memes at a party and get laid for it.

No. 79184

>he thinks the fact that normies normieing in a normie party is proof that all women are boring

>I play some type of video games, but guys take that to mean you play their type of video games
This. It's annoying as fuck when a random filthy casual who plays nothing but FPS and male power fantasy games tells you you're "a fake gumur gurl" because you don't share his taste. I mostly avoid this topic altogether because it's rarely worth it to bring it up.

No. 79189

>So this guy has niche social retard hobbies and the women he meets at parties don't conveniently share his obscure interests.
The best part about that is his interests aren't even obscure.
>Boba Fett
Star Wars is one of the most popular movies in modern film history, and nerds are still out here acting smug as if almost everyone else hasn't already seen it either. I get more surprised looks when I say that I have no interest in the franchise than I meet people who haven't had anything to do with it at all.

No. 79221

It seems he does not even want to go to parties.

Someone should tell him about Tinder and OKCupid, perhaps that's better suited for his purposes. A party is the wrong location for him.

No. 79286

i have a group of male friends and on the whole they're great, but i think the one thing is that they don't really take me seriously. maybe it's just because i talk a lot and say a bunch of silly things, but even when i am making a desperate effort to be serious i feel like it's a struggle to be heard and understood. i hate saying that about them but it's true in my experience.

No. 79314

I have about 50/50 ratio of guys and girls as friends, but I do notice a few of my guy friends probably only wanted to be my friend because they're those male feminist types. Also, the fact I have tan skin, I just feel like a diversity quota to them, but I feel that way about a couple girls who are mutuals with me too. I've realized most of these people I'm talking about though have hung around me since my SJW days lol
But recently, Ive gotten some good genuine friendships, it feels good.

No. 79354

Are your specific hobbies and interests completely devoid of females? How?

No. 79368

Well, that was an embarrassing read.

I'm going to have to agree with the others who have found a lot of this thread to be on the more extreme side of things as far as reactions to shitty behaviour go, though, barring a few posts that have already been pointed out, I wouldn't go as far to say that all this is just a load of thinly veiled man-hate. It's more just venting with blinders on in full force.

To quickly clear up my position on the matter, I believe whole-heartedly that men and women can be friends.

In a bit more depth, I only have three female friends and about fifteen male friends– some of these men I've known since we were literally babies, some of them I befriended in the middle years of high school, some of them recent uni friends. Pretty much all of them are single, and two of them have asked me out (one a long time best friend, the other a guy I'd chatted a bit to at uni but otherwise barely knew at the time). I respectfully rejected both of them, and I'm still besties with the former and friendly with the latter. I hope I haven't gone overboard here, but it seems people are having a bit of trouble with clarity here anyway so I didn't want to risk it.

And while I've had no bad experiences with the men I care about (random idiots is another story entirely), I'm also not stupid enough to think there aren't any bad eggs out there. That'd just be naïve, and the same goes for other women– no one is angelic or irredeemable purely because of their sex. Like, c'mon, that's how little kids think.

Lastly, to dismiss any blame for being on your part will only lead to the whole process repeating itself– cut those assholes out of your life, but also reflect on how they may have come to their conclusions. Depending on the type of guy and his experiences he's going to interpret cues from your behaviour, so if you work out what those are you can better avoid the same outcome with the next similar guy you try to befriend. Like, as an exaggerated example if you're getting chummy with an awkward mega nerd who has had limited interaction with women at all, let alone platonically, be prepared for him to take the friendly interest you show him by merely speaking to him as being an indicator of romantic or sexual interest. Like think of how a shitty romance protagonist will be left swooning because an attractive dude said 'hello' in her direction. (not basing this off of anything other than talking to my male friends about their awkward and regrettable experiences with falling hard for the first girl to give them the time of day, so feel free to take with whatever quantity of salt you require)

tl;dr men and women can absolutely have great friendships, but there will always be idiots who aren't worth your time, and sometimes if something keeps happening repeatedly maybe some introspection might be required.

No. 79392

>Well, that was an embarrassing read.
whew lad, same could be said here.

ditch your condescending tone if you want to be helpful. hmmm, it's almost like:
>some introspection might be required.

No. 79397

NTAYRT, but lol girls say the same shit to guys how they should be more self-aware about their actions and it's totally fine. BUT when girls say the same thing to other girls, it's like we insulted your mom. Jesus.

Have you never heard of the saying
"If everyone in your life is an asshole, you're probably the asshole"? I feel like it's very fitting to many of the bitter posters here. It's not condescension if there's a grain of truth.

No. 79408

Sorry about that, didn't mean to come across as condescending, just wanted to add my two cents, will work on that in the future.

But aside from criticising my tone and delivery, do you have anything else to add? Not a lot to work with here.

No. 79423


Yeah I disagree with 15-male friends Anon's "maybe its ur fault" stuff, however I'm glad that she is able to have many male friends without them sticking their dick in you, which seems to be the result as soon as I am alone with any single, unrelated male. You're a lucky chick.

Or are we missing something and the trick is never to be alone with a guy?

No. 79438

15-male-friends-anon again, and I just want to quickly clear up that I didn't mean "maybe it's your fault", just that if you find the situation repeating itself across multiple guys, maybe it's a good idea to have a look at not only their behaviour but also your own, and not that their behaviour is your responsibility. And if anyone does try to blame you for their poor behaviour, they're a fucking asshole and you should drop them. So sorry if that point came across poorly.

And sorry to hear about your experience with guys, I hope you can find one who isn't talking to you just because he's got the hots for you.

As for the 'never be alone with a guy' thing, I can't say that's true from my experience, ha– I've slept in a room with 3 of my male friends for over a week without issue, stayed over at their houses, had them stay at mine, and split beds and sofas with them without any problems (and I by no means think that any of that's typical or that anyone else is doing something wrong if that all sounded like things they'd never feel comfortable with, that's just how my friend-group (specifically close friends btw) is with each other).

Idk, maybe talking about the types of guys we all try to befriend might be helpful? Some seem more prone to the 'relationship-zone'/'fuck-zone' behaviour than others

No. 79492

Yeah yeah so one of you retards is gonna ban me, but answer the question anyways:

If a guy ends up in a position where he falls for someone he's had a long-term platonic relationship with, what would you actually want him to do? If he's not able to just put it past him and accept it as-is, how could you have mutual respect in a friendship with a beta orbiter? It'd just fall apart anyways unless he actually fully stopped loving her.

But love isn't exactly something with much conscious logic behind it, people don't just decide when they feel it or not. So okay hurr durr all men r dumb but what's the actual mature response any of you are looking for here?(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 79494

Most girls here aren't talking about that situation, they're talking about guys who befriended them wanting to fuck or date in the back of their heads (or the front) all along, and jumping on anything they see as them having a chance. Don't take what the anons here say personally if you don't engage in that kind of behavior. Anyone can fall into the situation getting feelings for a long time friend, and what you should do depends a lot on the both of you as individuals.

No. 79498

have you guys watched this documentary?

No. 79499

But is that not what it would come off as if it suddenly clicks for the guy but not the girl?
I wouldn't be surprised if that situation is what half of the people in this thread are so bitter about.

No. 79502

>calls us retards right off the bat
>then expects us to read the rest of his post and respond too

the absolute state of males

Do not engage the scrotoid

No. 79516

Guys stop talking to girls after asking them out due to the shame and in order to get over you and forget you, to regain their pride etc. Not because they wanted to fuck you all along.(sure jan)

No. 79519


This needs to catch on. Ily anon.

No. 79574

I'll be using that from now on

No. 79576

>If everyone in your life is an asshole, you're probably the asshole
I'm having the opposite problem, I'm acting like a cunt here about it because I can. I am nice and polite to the guys when I reject them and meet them, etc. Jesus fuck.

No. 79594

Nobody said "ALL MEN WANT TO FUCK ALL WOMEN", this thread was pointing that men often befriend women thinking about fucking us instead of building a friendship, you must be mentally ill or just a man with his feefees hurt by this thread.

No. 79666

How do you sort the difference from

>you meet a guy

>pretends to be friends
>get rejected
>peaces out,never see again

>you meet a guy

>be friends
>catches feelings
>rejected, peaces out

seems difficult to tell whats legit and what isnt.

it felt like when I was younger friends felt just like family members to me.

No. 79804


Yes, kind of.

I have a lot of male friends who I have common interests like music, nightlife ect or common friends. I might invite to go with me to a concert or museum or something but I would never invite them to come chill at my house, alone except for 2 really close friends I know well.

Most guys don't really need friendship as much as women do. Look at the adult men who know and you'll realize like 75% of their friends are people they work with or are professionally connected with in some way. Hence, they don't feel the need to spend quality alone time with their friends.

No. 79805

>75% of their friends are people they work with or are professionally connected with in some way
I really don't think this is a male thing lol, this is how pretty much all adults make friends.

No. 79816

You can be friends with guys, but it's pretty difficult to know if they have ulterior motives

I had a guy act all nice and getting to know me. We hung out for a few weeks and then he invited me to his place to hang.
I turned down his hand going you know where, he instantly turned around and didn't talk to me for the whole time I was at his place
The next day he dropped me off at the train station, gave me a hug and kiss on the cheek
I never heard from him again after that but it turns out a lot of people hate his guts so karma really worked out in the end

No. 80348

This has really been bothering me as of lately. It built up so much unbearable stress for me because of past experiences with guys and how I've been treated and it's a part of the reason why I've been a mess lately with my depression and anxiety too.
I've known this friend group of guys for about 8+ years but for about 3 I was moved away. At this point you're kind of so close to someone you've known for that long that you can always talk to them again. I came back and some of the group had also moved away. After going through a major depression after moving away from actual GOOD friends,
One after the other:
First one asked to hook up, I said no. Roommate (and a new friend I thought I made) asked to hook up and I REALLY ended up liking him. He of course, just wanted to hook up. Another friend visited and wanted to hook up. Next one wanted to hook up.
Plus some bonuses: Friend of the guy I really liked started trying to invite me to beer several times. Another friend of the group keeps sliding into my DM's.
Then another friend of the group started in my DM's innocently, but let's be honest. Men do not start messaging you because they REALLY want to be just your friend so badly.
This all gave me problems with my self worth and it was already shattered before all of this. At the moment I'm distancing myself from them, but I'm really fucking lonely and depressed. It's disappointing. I spent my teenage years with these guys. I did tell one of them that I only seem relevant in this group if I'm hooking up with someone. Some of them I did hook up with, but I don't initiate any of it, and obviously I'm done with it. The attention is nice at first, but then when you realize you're just viewed as an object and they don't actually care about you, it's not very nice anymore.

No. 80358

>he has a serious girlfriend when you first met
I met a guy in my Japanese classes that had a pic of him and his gf on his profile. Two months later he broke up with her and began to act weird and then finally confessed. I'm sure he dumped his gf to try to make a pass on me.

>you met him before hitting puberty

One of my childhood friends always manages to hit on me every single time we see each other, even when we're in the presence of my brother. He started touching my leg once and my brother just stared at him like he was gonna murder someone.

No. 80399

>I'm sure he dumped his gf to try to make a pass on me.

Sure :3

No. 80422

the best way to avoid getting fuckzoned IMO is to befriend a large group of males rather than having one on one male friendships. At this point I don't even think men understand the concept of a one on one friendship, if you're with a group there's no guarantee a guy won't become attracted to you but at least there's social pressure on him to not act on that impulse in that scenario.

No. 80428

that's a really tough one, I guess the best way would be to look at how he approached you in the first place? This wouldn't be a surefire way to tell but if he took a lot of initiative in approaching you then he probably was initially attracted to you, if you met him by circumstance then it's probably different, guys make friends more by coincidence and not intentionally.

Also how fast he says he catches feelings, I don't think a guy is going to put several months worth of effort into maintaining a false friendship just to try to get laid, there's much more low effort ways of going about that.

No. 81548

>women who are friends
>women I'm sexually attracted to
>and never the two shall meet(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 81668

What if he befriends said girl for other reasons (like they work together and go out together in a group and just spend an awful lot of good, fun time together) and then ends up helplessly falling in love and messes up big time and decides it's not healthy to stay around unnecessarily anymore even though he enjoys nothing in this life more than her company and she has seem quite willing to talk to him (probably friends-wise) nonetheless?

No. 81696

This is all I ever been through with guy friends. Some make it more obvious of their intentions than others. Sometimes I hate my personality because I try to be nice. I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings. They don't take a no for an answer and keep pushing sometimes. I made friends with a guy with similar interests. decide to hang out. He constantly tries to kiss me on the cheek, or ask for one in return. Our conversations may start out normal, then he manages to turn it into "cuddle me plz" Like he could be a totally normal and chill dude if he wasn't so pushy. I tell him over and over I dont want a relationship. Not now, not ever. And he still asks questions like "so do you at least have an interest in me? OwO" If I was younger, say like 13, I would probably fall head over heels for this shitty behavior. But now that I'm older its just so fucking creepy and pushy.

No. 81713

Well, funny because I have always believed in female-male friendships, but now when I look back… almost every guyfriend of mine made a move on me. And now I don't have any guyfriends, so yeah, every friendship died after a move/confession. And many boys just turned their backs on me because of idk solidarity with their rejected friends. I very vividly remember when I was about 16 and my friend awkwardly told me that the guy I rejected is now partying and drinking and he hinted it's my fault? But he was so hesitant and uncomfortable, I don't know if he really believed I'm to blame. Didn't stop him for alienating me later though.
I liked having male friends, I don't want to say shit like WaMen aRe CaTtY or I'm one of the boys, but it's no secret it's easier to find geek/nerd guys than girls, and my sense of humour is quite brutal… I love my girlfriends but I sometimes have to hold back with them.
But eh I never had to consciously make friends with guys because we all knew each other since forever, but now when they're gone it's impossible for me, I'm too shy and awkward. I noticed guys are super uncomfortable around shy girls and would rather pretend they don't exist. When, for example, I'm talking with a group of uni people before classes, guys wouldn't even look at me, let alone speak to. I know I shouldn't care, but it hurts, feels like I'm… I don't know, impaired, abnormal. But yeah it's a topic that belongs in the Vent thread, because people in general make me feel like shit because they don't know how to handle shy reserved individuals

At least one of my very close friends is a gay man, so I have someone to dump game memes on and be mean to

No. 81721

I've always had lots of guy friends and not one of them has made a move on me, despite me not being ugly. I think you guys need to try being more respectable and interesting people. girls that I see complaining about this never really bring anything to the friendship, or they just want attention.

No. 81724

It probably helps that im a masculine asexual (ish), but i havent had any problems with male friends developing feelings for me since high school. I dont hang around "normies" though.

No. 81736

>I think you guys need to try being more respectable and interesting people

>"You're just sluts that's why guys put the moves on!!!"

So many self-proclaimed nerd girls like, IDK the girl >>81713 one post up from yours who is obviously respectable and interesting but still had every guy friend make a move

Like what part of shy nerd girl screams boring slut to you?

No. 81739

Never called anyone a slut. There are plenty of respectable promiscuous women out there. But let's not pretend that being a "nerd grrl" implies that she has a personality or has done anything noteworthy or is capable of keeping up in an interesting discussion.

No. 81757

So you're implying you haven't had any problems with male friends developing feelings for you because you have personality (unlike us) and do noteworthy (what) stuff? Hold on girls, we have a "cool grrl" over here.
We're just not interesting enough to be friends with guys, you see. What a bummer.

No. 81758

Can anyone pitch some advice on this one here? I just don't wanna hurt her at this point. Not sure I'm allowed in the relationship thread.

No. 81762

It's because I'm good at what I do. This bitterness and passive-aggressiveness is exactly why I can't be friends with most women I know.

No. 81764

if you think you can somehow un-fall in love with her then that would be the best lol. if not, you can continue the friendship or just "wean off" her, do whats best for you.

No. 81769

If you've learned anything from reading this thread, you should stay friends with her. You enjoy her company up to now without (sex innuendo) so nothing has changed. You will miss her company if you just drop it. It's hard but it's better to keep people you like around if at all possible

No. 81770

>good at what I do

>Literally just come in here to throw vague allusions to us all being boring sluts who can't converse despite an entire thread's evidence to the contrary

Some of these girls had the guy fall for them after a long friendship, implying they were good company/interesting/whatever arbitrary bar you have invented

No. 81774

Well she's trying to move forward, and remove the tension. You shouldnt try to explain yourself, it doesnt sound like she wants to talk about that anymore, and wants to leave the past in the past.

No. 81776

File: 1525571013841.png (158.33 KB, 500x473, eat that ass.png)

>if you think you can somehow un-fall in love with her then that would be the best lol
The fact that I've been trying to for 5 months and 5 days strongly suggests that I cannot. I have yet to vent with someone about this because everyone I could turn to is either male or her friend as well. I warn you, this is going to be a hard read. Probably. I have lost all sense.

I honestly just really tried hard to forget her for the first month: reduced my social media intake from very low to zero, stopped listening to that tune that makes me think of her somehow, spent even more time working out and getting my shit together and not seeing her at all. And then I saw her in person and I was fucked.

When I confessed (after a year of me not making a move because I couldn't read her, she got interested in some guy and I just said fuck it I give up but I'm not going down without telling her how I feel) she said something along the lines of "I really don't want this to get in the way of our group, which I really value" and I said "yup, I promise it won't", which meant I could not skip her graduation ceremony which was the first event in a month that would call for a get-together. I was super anxious and putting a lot of effort into looking my best for her so in retrospect I believe I had already lost way before I even saw her again. This unrequited-love-that-won't-go-away got to my mind and I didn't approach her or even greeted her at all during the whole night, not even afterwards when we were eating at the same table. Despite this embarrassing display of immaturity, during all following "inevitable" get-togethers (which I started desperately looking forward to) she's been quite smiley and interactive around me. I don't directly talk to her but she does to me. When I went back to using Instagram, she was the very first person to see my story. She even publicly sips drinks from my straw like there had never been any tension between us at all. And I don't know how to respond to that.

I understand that acting all weird and silent around her has to stop, but do I just stop it abruptly after 4 months of not looking at her gorgeous face, like nothing happened? Or do I try to explain to her that I was panicked/immature/confused/resentful/respecting her/clueless/slightly angry at her/very angry at myself?

No. 81778

Sorry, thought I had time to correct something but I wasn't that fast.

If that's correct I better just follow her lead and hope she understands…

No. 81779

I doubt she has any bad feelings towards you, sounds like you were respectful in your approach and the aftermath, better than how most guys would respond.

No. 81788

Why is he pretending like we never had sex?

To be fair, it happened spontaneously while we were hanging out playing vidya, and it isn't like we're """in luv""", but you would think it would come up in conversation. Like it makes me feel kind of used and dirty.

No. 81792

I was the female side of that situation, i also pretended like nothing happened, i just wanted to ignore that it happened since i regretted it. Probably the case for him as well? Wanting the friendship to just go back to normal?

No. 81808

I've made friends with a group of 3 guys this year at uni. I pretty much broed it out. I've told them I'm in a long committed relationship (but beyond that I don't talk about my feelings or present and past relationships). I make sure I don't say anything that could be interpreted as flirty and I keep some distance with the most nerdy guy (the one that looks like he doesn't have much experience and could think a girl being friendly is interested).
It's been 8 month now and there isn't any awkwardness. I hope it stays like this.

No. 81827

You are super feeling sorry for yourself, but remember most girls have guys consistently offer themselves to them (even strangers, if you're outdoors/any place for long enough you will get chatted up by strangers guaranteed)

She's not concerned with the fact you shot your shot and has likely mostly forgotten about it. If you enjoy her company as much as you say you do, keep enjoying it. I promise the embarrassment is 100% your side and she doesn't think anything about it.

No. 81833

Quite an interesting thread. It's interesting to read people's experiences and insights regarding the subject, even if the conversation did get a bit heated at times, but I suppose that's a given when it comes to such a topic.

No. 81837

I have been hurt really badly by guys who I naively thought were good friends. I have an outgoing personality so make friends pretty easy inc female friends, but that does not lessen the blow when I discovered ( on a repeat basis) guys that I was friends with and enjoyed spending time with and telling personal details with, were all just hanging around me, not because of my personality or any traits to do with my character, they were there just hoping I would sleep with them. One guy in particular I met him in my ceramics/pottery class, he was near 60, I was 18, he was very avuncular and just kind and pleasant to me. This dude after a year of us being friends, tried it on with me when I was drunk with the booze he bought for me. I feel so damn stupid! looking back I may have been an adult but he was trying to groom me. I trusted him enough to go to his house, the first time I drunk over his place was fine, the second time, he must have put more booze in, as I passed out and I only come aroung when I felt his hands down my pants/knickers. and my bra was messed up so while I was passed out drunk this old mother fucker took advantage. When I look back, I think all the signs were there why didnt I see it. So that guy made me distrustful of men, then I decided I was too distrustful, so I started letting myself make friends with males again, none of them sexually assaulted me, but some of them did try and get me drunk or sleep with them when I was feeling vunerable. i am older and wiser now, but I just wish I had that foresight when I was young. Sorry for blog post this is the first time I spoke about that man and what he did to me.

No. 81850

That's awful, I'm sorry Anon.

No. 81955

You're all right about those situations being wrong but I think you have the wrong impression of the situation when it comes to rejecting relationship proposals from friends (not plain sex mind you) most of those guys were not 'pretending' anything, they didn't have some evil masterplan to make you spread your legs, they really were your friends, they genuinely liked you, they enjoyed spending time with you and that's why they developed feelings for you.

A mature man would get over it and continue being your friend but that's not the case for an insecure and immature man because for them it is extremely painful to continue being around someone they can't love they way they want, things are not as cold as you think they are, most of them didn't think "oh I can't put my dick inside her, useless hoe bye" they mostly likely thought "I can't be with the woman I've been in love with for months/years, I've been fantasizing for so long about her loving me, going on dates, kissing, having sex, maybe marrying, it hurts to talk to with her, it hurts to be around her" so they decide to leave instead of being in pain every time you wanna talk about your lame anime shit.

It is your job as a woman to make sure a man doesn't develop those kind of feelings for you very early in your friendship, of course in an ideal world you wouldn't have to go around worrying about the cool guy you're friends with suddenly going psycho because you rejected him after being friends for like 2 years or something like that.

I am ashamed to say I did stop talking to friends after being rejected long time ago but I was also able to be very very good friends with girls who made sure I never thought of them as potential girlfriends and that their vaginas were shut down for me, it can be awkward but just go ahead and say it, believe me it really works, I once met this girl while smoking outside my house who approached me to ask for a light, I looked like shit so I didn't try flirting or anything just random chitchat that developed into finding we had many things in common, she was really cool, she was pretty and my heart did start tingling, I think my face was showing it because she suddenly put her finger on my face and very strongly said "I have a boyfriend but I like making friends" it felt weird but I think it hardwired my brain into not looking at her as a potential partner at all, we continued being very good friends for couple of years, in my eyes she almost turned into a sister. Another time I met this girl online who was extremely perverted, she loved sharing and getting porn, I was going crazy with meeting a girl who was so pervy and talked about sex so much, we lived close by so I did try to insinuate a meeting once and I don't even remember exactly what she said but she was very strong and made me feel like she would cut off my dick if I ever tried anything with her, she liked chatting with me and my taste in porn nothing more and again I completely stopped thinking about her as potential partner, we are still friends to this day, she got over her nymphomania so no more porn but she's a cool person and like to chat with her about random stuff.

So in short, slap a man's dick and heart almost as soon as you meet him to make sure he doesn't do any of this shit, if he leaves early it won't even bother you. I'm in my 30's now and don't need stuff like that to keep my heart in check, I can now deal with rejection and continue being friends with girls but you can never know which man is mature or not.

You can ban me now :^)(male)

No. 81957

>most of those guys were not 'pretending' anything, they didn't have some evil masterplan to make you spread your legs, they really were your friends, they genuinely liked you, they enjoyed spending time with you and that's why they developed feelings for you.

A lot of us have clarified that we understand the difference between a male friend developing feelings throughout the friendship vs the fuckzone. We are mostly complaining about the latter and have gone over this multiple times already. Did you actually read much of the thread or did you just read the first post and create this wall of text telling us we don't understand?

>It is your job as a woman to make sure a man doesn't develop those kind of feelings for you very early in your friendship, of course in an ideal world you wouldn't have to go around worrying about the cool guy you're friends with suddenly going psycho because you rejected him after being friends for like 2 years or something like that.

And how exactly is a woman supposed to do that? People can't really help who they're attracted to. Some guys even like me more when I'm gross and mannish.


So in short, slap a man's dick and heart almost as soon as you meet him to make sure he doesn't do any of this shit, if he leaves early it won't even bother you.

Sometimes you want to give people the benefit of the doubt and be friendly, not constantly worry about and try to prevent them from "going pyscho". It's really not our responsibility and we already do enough to attempt to avoid those situations anyway. I always establish that I'm only here for friendships with guys and half the time I get made fun of for assuming guys all want to fuck me or something. Guys should be able to use their words and be honest when they have other intentions. It really shouldn't be our responsibility to say "oh btw i'm NOT interested!" and it's almost a rejection in itself which makes them resent us even more. The default assumption should be that it's a normal friendship unless specified otherwise. You're advocating for a world where it's assumed a girl is dtf or going to ask you out unless you prematurely tell him off.

I get that you might be coming from a decent place giving advice, but you don't know what we're talking about and it shows. Your experience with women does not invalidate our decades of actually being women but you seem to think that we're all just missing something as simple as…saying we're not interested in anything more than friendship.

No. 81958


You are right, I just read the first posts and assumed the rest would be pretty much the same. Well I was addressing those who seem not to understand and think they were caught in an evil man's conspiracy and not just dealing with some dumbass over-sensitive friend who can't take rejection not addressing you who does get it and it was not 'mansplaining' if I'm just talking about the point of view of the males not telling you how to feel about it

>You're advocating for a world where it's assumed a girl is dtf or going to ask you out unless you prematurely tell him off.

I'm not advocating for it, that's the way it is, it has always been your personal experience just like you're saying, so I'm sorry but I will continue saying it is your responsibility to put walls around men just the way you've been taught to close your legs when wearing a dress, not walk around dark empty streets etc, you're the one advocating for a bizarro world where men can contain their nature, no amount of education or cultural change will make men mostly approach women with the same eyes he approaches another man, it's hopeless and you're just gonna live frustrated if you don't accept it but you can have very fulfilling, fun and genuine friendships with men if you make some effort to test they have good intentions when you meet them.

No. 81961

Sadly, I do believe man (soon-to-be-banned) anon is right, reality is what it is and we have to deal how we can.

I think a good technique to try is to be disgusting/make clear what type of men you drool over to the male friends you want. Perhaps part of my luck with male friendships (and the friendzone I've sadly experienced…) is that I'm a slimeball who objectifies men right in front of men. Always have.

May not work if said guy has no boundaries (so is a douchebag anyway), is kind of autistic, or is actually your type. Or if you're in a work relationship, although even in those cases men have gross conversations about women to other men. So give them the same treatment! I actually had a guy at work try to set me up with a qt after he overheard me speaking clearly about what kind of guys I like with a co-worker.

>inb4 lesbianons coming to tell me of men who've creeped on them anyway

I mean, why would you want to stay friends with them, though? I've also had female friends who hit on my gay male friends, some people are just gross.

No. 81964

Honestly the only time I've had a successful friendship with a guy that never had a "if we dated" type conversation is if he has a wife and I'm also friends with the wife, and more her friend than his.

I've had single guy friends but it's either hinted at interest (sometimes to the point where OTHERS try to intervene on his behalf, exquisitely obnoxious) or "here's what you need to do to be my gf, btw" type conversations. I'd agree with whatever anon said never to trust a guy 100% honestly.

I think it's probably possible, but men make it really fucking hard, and I have a pretty finite threshold for stupid drama.

No. 81967

anon, if only that was so easy.
>friend confesses through text message
>my other friend, from the same friend group asks me about it and is sorry things are awkward now among us all
>I say same and allow myself to bitch about the confession guy, saying that I wouldn't accept someone who declares his love to me through a text like a kid in middle school and it's a red flag for me, how do I know he's not trolling or someone took his phone and is fooling around, honestly a confession like this isn't even something to consider etc
>few months later, this very friend I talked with about it, guess what, confesses to me through a text message

Men are impossible

No. 81974

That's ridiculous, but I laffed. It would be cute if it wasn't so fucking stupid.

Perhaps some of us are just more unfortunate than others when it comes to men we know.

No. 82009

Lol that is so dumb of him, you'd think he'd remember your complaints about it considering he had a crush on you.
I agree though that text message confessions are pathetic. Same goes for when they get a friend to ask you out for the guy. They get an instant "no" answer from me just for that.

No. 82015

Naturally men can't have genuine friendship with women because of differences of our psyche and sexual attraction, it works both ways.
Before industrial revolution there was no such thing as male-female friendship. Now in our modern society where women are given endless opportunities, such thing is possible, but it happens most of the time between people who are united by the same idea, like betwen two doctors, or artists.

If a guy is showing much friendship to you he's most likely an awkward beta who doesn't know how to pick girls, and vice versa.

Human nature is like that, we can't do anything about it, but learn to be with it.

No. 82028

I had a guy friend who I had a huge crush on for like 4 years, I never made a move or told him but it was embarrassingly obvious. As we got older the more I got over it, the better friends we became and eventually found ourselves talking regularly and just being friendly. I had a bf and he had a gf around the time we really started talking often, and he was a good friend - seemingly interested in what I had to say and we had good conversations. We hadn’t seen eachother in years, by the time we finally met up again I was 3 years into my relationship and he was single. He got drunk and spent the entire night trying to make out with me, trying to take me into rooms alone, telling me we should hook up and giving me gross compliments like “you have really nice lips” (ew)
He’s avoided talking to me/interacting with any social media ever since.
Men are gross.

No. 82032

I feel like I should find a different thread but I’m just…
My closest friend is a guy. I thought we had a great platonic relationship. Everything is great except a few days ago I was extremely drunk, passed out and he raped me. He had a few drinks too but there’s no way he was beyond thinking drunk or anything… I feel awful and I can’t bring myself to blame him and I still want a strong friendship with him but I’m lost. Sorry again if this isn’t the thread for it but I really thought he was a man I could trust. I have a history of sexual abuse and I’ve vented about it to him and everything..

No. 82033

Anon, I'm so sorry, Idk what to tell you, that's so awful. What a disgusting person to take advantage of you when you were comfortable enough to be vulnerable around him. How can someone be a good friend and then go and do something so absolutely vile and cruel?
Tbh I don't have any experience with sexual assault but I don't think it would be the best for you to stay his friend and keep hanging around him, it seems like an extremely poisonous situation.

No. 82034

Anon, he fucking raped you. You shouldn't even be considering a friendship with him, you should be going to the police. Even if you are struggling with your (platonic) feelings for him, he's a legitimate danger to other women and needs to face consequences for his actions.

Your reaction is really concerning, maybe you are in shock or something (which would be understandable). The unfortunate fact is that you didn't have a great platonic relationship if he cares so little for you that he raped you, he IS to blame, and your friendship is the last thing he deserves.

No. 82055

It also works to just have a non-sexual image. Im nearly asexual but i never stare at men/women, talk about peoples looks etc so im just assumed to be off-market. Works pretty well.

No. 82059

Predators always seek the weakest victim, they will never ever prey on strong. She should not look for excuse to his behavior, if that's what really happened.

No. 82063

Great if it's working for you, although I'm sure there's more to it than that, given the complexities of human interaction.

The problem with image is that by its very definition it exists in the minds of others as their perception of you, so even your idea of a "non-sexual image" is susceptible to corruption. I try to divorce my identity from sexuality, but have also been called asexual by others, and nonetheless experience some degree of sexualization from others. It's trivial compared to what previous posters have experienced, but I used too know a group of girls who would regularly make comments or slap my ass and talk openly about things they would do to me, albeit jokingly. Ironically I think it stemmed from a feeling of being able to do so safely with no fear of me trying to retaliate or escalate the relationship.

Unfortunately, to exist in community is to face all the awkwardness, misunderstanding, and pain of shared humanity. I believe violence to be inexcusable, and it is worth struggling against, but a completely harmonious existence will only ever be experienced in small fragments scattered throughout a life.

I really got into the weeds with this response but I guess to address the OP my answer is yes, occasionally, but that doesn't mean it's not even worth trying.

No. 82067

my guy friends have never tried to hit on me and I know for a fact that there is no way I'm uglier than all of you in this thread. what gives?

No. 82084

If it's not your looks you must have a glaring personality flaw repelling them.

No. 82094

File: 1525826677489.jpeg (79.31 KB, 1024x576, 9F230364-D0A6-49F1-9BDB-820288…)

thank you for your responses
I’m just so lost. He’s so sweet i just think he was really drunk. I have bpd and other issues that make it basically impossible for me to drop people and I’ve hardcore obsessed over past abuser. I feel like I can’t tell anybody but anonymous sites… I don’t know. I don’t want to lose him we’ve been friends for ages and we’re so close. I just can’t stop thinking it’s my fault. I’m histrionic and dress kinda trashy and just. idk. I can’t sleep and keep breaking down over it. I’m sorry again this feels offtopic but i’m rambling

No. 82102

File: 1525832349391.png (608.69 KB, 1486x1669, 90cdef3037e7107c1ef345c4a409ab…)


Looks like they couldn't handle the truth

No. 82103

The bit about believing to be sterile is ???
Seems to be his one friend's belief which he applied to all women. The other stuff isn't necessarily untrue. I don't think any woman believes she is sterile, the monthly gory reminders of our fertility seem to ward such thoughts away.

No. 82104

Also the stuff about finding something else to do rather than have kids is posited as bad. Nobody needs to have children. There are other directives. It is not a failure, and as these screeds say it is a societal inevitability due to the current economy and friend and peer bonding situations we are in. (i.e bad all round)

We are more than our base biology, we just need to move beyond basic breeding instincts in order to achieve happiness in a society where basic breeding is difficult.

/Written like an incel because that's the content I'm responding to, actually a wimmin

No. 82105

a lot of what these types isn't necessarily untrue but they just take it so damn literally and dualistically. It's like on the social left you have people who won't even acknowledge statistical data or biological instincts, and then you have these guys who seem to think generalizations and biological instincts are ALL that's real, and anyone who deviates from that is lying to themselves.

No. 82106

O lord Anon. I'm kinda the same in that I go stockholm syndrome on people who abuse/disrespect me. (No crimes done to me as yet because I'm aware I'm like this and try to be careful)

You try and excuse, romanticize and explain away what happened when it's really simple. He didn't even give you an opportunity to be consensually romantic, he decided he wanted something and took it without asking. Can you go to the police? I have no idea what help they can offer but he is a danger to others as the other Anons said. I'm so sorry that happened. If you have trouble breaking away like you said, just never be alone together EVER again and make sure you always have a friend with you in any situation he is also attending. Tell people about it too, you don't have to tell it as a rape if you don't want to go legal but describe what happened to your female friends so they know.

How you act/dress has nothing to do with it, he would and will do that to librarians.

No. 82107

Not saying you weren't careful; some things that have happened to me have been considered rape by others when I describe it - not completely consensual/tricked into etc - but I don't use the word because I was in situations where it was implied I was agreeing to something, just not quite what happened. You didn't agree to anything. It's not your fault.

No. 82118

Honestly? Women can treat men as friends and respect them. But men can't treat women the same way. For men it's embarrassing to be "just friends" with women. They lose face if they get caught treating women as respectable, equal beings. That's the only reason why women and men can't be friends.

Done this multiple times. Didn't work. I've always been a vulgar tomboy so in a group of men I'm often on par with them, yet I STILL end up getting inappropriate comments or suggestions. If they don't end up still objectifying you and you lose sexual appeal in their eyes, then you got nothing of interest left. They'll start treating you as garbage. Guys often hate the "dudebro" women because they don't have the most important feature of a woman in their eyes - being sexually/romantically attractive to them.

No. 82130

I had a very good male friend, we meet online in one of those friend finder places and he was fine with being just friends because I already had a boyfriend.
The first time we met in real life was fantastic, we clicked really well and he knew all the right to say. I ended up catching feelings for him and dropping hints, but he always brushed them off and kept things platonically. Eventually he moved and we lost contact.

No. 82135

>ended up catching feeling about him
This is a major reason why male-female relationships are rare. One party at some point catches feeling.

No. 82136

derped, i mean to say friendship, not relationship.

No. 82216

Three days ago you made me cut the crap and act normal around her.

Just now, in the groupchat, I dropped a hint about a party we used to go to which is returning this weekend. She was the first to reply, saying she's interested.

You were right about her not having bad feelings towards me. But I can't help thinking we could totally date, which is not a thought I should still have…

No. 82226

honestly anon, as corny as it is, if it's meant to be it will be.
My friend had a guy who was super into her, but she only saw him as a friend…a best friend. every now and again he'd try and make a move or share his feelings but she'd set him straight and he'd still be friendly. in the end, they werent meant to be. he found a girl who is perfect for him and the two of them are still remaining best friends.
Play it cool, focus on your friendship and respect her boundries.
If something is going to happen it will, but if not eventually you will move on and find someone whos better for you than you.
I say the same for girls who are desperate for a bf, if you stop searching for it and forcing things, then the right person or moment will come along, and you will know when it does.

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