/snow/ - flakes & mistakes

Copy from /cow/, Jahan Faxx
✔ brought a hamster to orgasm

✔ soundly rejected by the online hamster community

✔ had his pumpkin smashed by a foreigner

✔ carried a dead rat around with him

✔ buried multiple goldfish alive to make compost

✔ played with animal carcasses

✔ smashed a child's head into the ground repeatedly screaming "why won't you die"

✔ made a dalek and cuckshed in 3D

✔ low intelligence

✔ aspiring BBC script writer

✔ aspiring BBC cuckold

✔ obese

✔ told by an endocrinologist he is too fat

✔ founded Green Nothing Productions (not registered at companies house)

✔ vowed to review Twilight and Fifty Shades Of Grey while cosplaying as Bella if a facebook post about GNP got 10,000 likes (it didn't)

✔ owns an inflatable dalek

✔ wiped his cat's arse with his finger

✔ wrote about intravenously injecting women with cum, shit and piss

✔ wrote about removing and eating organs from living women

✔ wrote about cutting women into pieces

✔ wrote about wanting to shrink women and keep them as pets

✔ wrote about roasting Amy Pond alive

✔ quit after one day as a trolley boy

✔ threatened to strangle every member of an internet club

✔ made multiple topless youtube videos, once asking the audience to masturbate

✔ licked his own nipple on cam

✔ got banned from multiple facebook groups for transphobia

✔ his own sister is terrified of him

✔ wrote unsolicited torture porn of Laura K Dale and Jim Sterling

✔ handed said porn to Laura K Dale in person

✔ terrified a deeply autistic man after performing oral sex on him

✔ killed a tarantula by crushing it under foot

✔ founded Project MIRTH

✔ pronounces bickers as "bickers"

✔ attempted to physically remove his father from the house

✔ got scolded by a policewoman who then told him to tidy his room

✔ demanded that his mother pay him £50 to move a chair

✔ got angry when she only gave him £30

✔ broke his wrist falling over after flamboyantly storming off when his mum made him pay for a bed with "his own money" (her money)

✔ blacklisted by multiple feminist communities

✔ blacklisted by the labour party

✔ threatened suicide bickers the requirements to receive welfare are too strict

✔ threatened suicide if terrorist sympathising communist corbyn didn't win

✔ cut his own hair with disastrous results

✔ refused to come downstairs when a friend came to play

✔ received a valentine's day card but did not appreciate it

✔ can't be a computer technician bickers quantum computers

✔ can't learn to program bickers new languages will come out

✔ can't learn to drive bickers self driving cars

✔ autism makes him too efficient to work full time

✔ NEET

✔ showing many symptoms of diabetes (pain in extremities, slow wound healing, headaches, blackouts, lack of energy, intense thirst, sugar craving)

✔ not even white

✔ burned a gastropod to death in a toxic isobutene and propylene glycol solution

✔ rejected by the straight community

✔ encased a deeply autistic man inside a latex envelope and induced a negative air pressure

✔ genitals are like two tic tacs and a slightly larger tic tac

✔ soaked his socks in his own piss (while wearing them) as a dirty protest against going to the zoo

✔ privatised all his vids on his main channel (secret tory?!?)

Some gems from twitter

Jahans defending stealing from sex workers because he's disabled and therefore entitled to fap material

Is he cis? Why do his tits look like he has binder damage?

>>799490
He was low T so he started taking it to get rid of the extra fat, he's really genetically fucked

>>799465
Wtf? How is this guy not in jail?

>>799464
>>799492
pls spoiler this shit

>wrote unsolicited torture porn of Laura K Dale and Jim Sterling
>handed said porn to Laura K Dale in person
Excuse me? Cow crossover? Is there proof of this?

>>799465
>sadism towards animals
>curiosity towards death, sexual taboos, etc.
>sadism towards women
>scatological urges

Welp, if this kid isn't a future serial killer then who is? Thank god he's too lazy and autistic to learn how to drive

>>799465
sorry if i'm missing something obvious but what the fuck is "bickers", like why is it being used in that context?

also i wasn't even aware that there was an 8chan /cow/ forum until this thread and holy shit what a disorganized edgelord infested hellsite. lolcow has sort of become its own entity, so much so that i forget how god-awful chan culture is

>>799533
"bickers" = "because" i believe

>>799490

He has a severe case of male tuberous breast deformity. Apparently he also suffers from Kallmann Syndrome.

https://wikipedia.org/wiki/Kallmann_syndrome

Jahans is back on his meds so he hasn't been as crazy but he's still on twitter
Hopefully lolcow archives more of his stuff from now on

>>799465
>✔ received a valentine's day card but did not appreciate it
With shit like this included (and some similar statements), it's hard to take it seriously.
This really is a shitfest compared to lolcow.

The pics of him shirtless and that fucking gif however are nightmare fuel and I wish I had never seen them.

Without sources he just seems like a nobody though.

>>799661

The KF thread is pretty dead, fwiw.

some old milk
I hope he starts uploading again

Made an op for him over on lolcow.org
https://lolcow.org/threads/alexander-gordon-jahans-alex-jahans-gordon-jones-farshnuke-alasdair-jakes.73/(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

He’s finally gone through puberty now thanks to testosterone. Still pronounces because as “bickers”. Also pronounces coronavirus as “choronovirus”