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gender critical and female politics
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No. 6864

Family member trooning out? Boyfriend talking about "dysphoria"? Best friend wants to become a boy? Has someone important to you drunk the kool-aid, and you're unsure as to what to do?

Come here to grieve, give advice or just vent.

No. 6865

My brother is currently in the process of becoming a TIM, and I feel very powerless. It's been brewing for a long time, thanks to discord and reddit communities, and now he's going to start taking actual steps. However, he won't talk to me or his mother about it. He's touchy in general and shuts down over any difficult conversation. Sperg, intelligent but unmotivated, internet addicted, socially isolated and neglected growing up. It's almost hopeless seeing how much of a "perfect storm" it is for him to troon out, I don't really know how to address it.

No. 6868

he's too far gone nonnie

No. 6869

That's really really difficult, sorry nona. You sound like a caring sister but I'm not sure what you would be able to do, especially as he is touchy about the subject. Hope you get some better advice and support here.

No. 6870

Maybe try to sit down w him and ask him what makes him think he is a woman? Then gently debunk every single one of his beliefs. Also, I know in the MTF thread people said to show pics of rot pockets and I think that should be an option as well. It does sound like he may be too far gone though, I hate this stupid gender cult and the incels who propagate it

No. 6871

I have a friend back in uni who I reconnected with before I peaked. Our last time chatting she mentioned starting to wear binders and right now it hurts to think about her future, the repercussions of binding your chest, shortness of breath and all.

Same with an online friend who started puberty blockers as a minor, I can see myself in her because she's porn addicted as I was. I find it hard to talk to her knowing the health risks associated to puberty blockers then T.

I keep justifying it to myself like it's as if you have a conservative religious friend whose religion requires them to smoke cigarettes and eventually contract lung cancer or something.

It feels off just watching a slow burn train crash and not being able to do anything about it without being outted as a terf.

No. 6873

My son.

I can't even type it out.

No. 6875

My former childhood best friend. She’s autistic and has always liked yaoi but now she’s a full on TIF complete with retarded political takes. She’s 5’4, very fat and not conventionally attractive and she really thinks she’s gonna become some sort of tall anime bishie when she gets top surgery or T. She still lives with her parents at 27 and has no life outside of anime bullshit, it’s just sad. I think if she’d left our hometown at some point and experienced life outside of her online sphere she might’ve turned out different, but alas you just can’t help some people. She’s also a virgin and ‘loves’ BDSM and shit like that kek. I hate knowing that if she just listened to me she’d probably be better off but she’s always been infuriatingly obstinate despite her complete lack of any sort of real life experience. On one hand I kinda want her to face some real consequences but obvs I don’t want her to have the side effects of t etc.

No. 6877

My friend claimed a nonbinary identity last year, and now is binding full time, recently legally changed her name to a 'gender-neutral' one, uses neutral grammatical gender (and in my native language you have to inflect verbs by gender every time you address someone in the second person, so if you talk to her with feminine verbs she gets offended), all she talks about now is how victimized she feels by being 'misgendered'. She said that she tearfully came out to her mother during family dinner and her mom just said 'okay, do you want any more potatoes' in response kek

At the same time she says she's a lesbian and loves pussy. She's in her mid twenties, has never been in a relationship with anyone and is a virgin. Before the trooning she claimed various mental illness diagnoses, from severe intractable treatment-resistant depression that can only be cured by an experimental brain implant to schizoid personality disorder.
I could put up with the cringy self-diagnosing but the enby identity is getting on my nerves.

No. 6880

I’m so sorry

No. 6881

A very good friend of mine from highschool is going back and forth on whether he is trans or not. He is just gender nonconforming, which has always made him an interesting person, but he moved to Portland and is surrounded by people who encourage transition. I'm struggling with accpeting it.

No. 6882

My little sister (seven years younger) claims to be dysphoric and is even seeing a therapist specialized in that kind of issues, a former (hsts) classmate saw the same therapist so I guess he/she is pro-transition.
My parents had a difficult divorce three years ago and she started to identify as non binary around six months in.
I am a CSA victim (that played a huge role in the divorce because my mother always tried to hide it from my dad) and developed an ED and dysphoria right after, among other coping mechanisms (my unhealthy love for that kind of military history), and I think my sister is trying to copy me, I don't think I am paranoid or something because she used to roleplay as me on children's games and later on more adult websites, she even took compromising pictures of me to share to the people she talked to, she was around 11-13 and she's now 18. I had to tell her online boyfriends (that were my age) the person they were talking to was in fact a middle schooler and that they should fuck off and never contact her again.

No. 6887

One of my friends wants to get a penis and troon out and the like and I want to tell her it's because of her trauma (she was severely sexually abused as a child to the point where she can't remember half of it due to dissociation shit) but I'll obviously lose her, she's been a great friend to me for years and it would really sting if she left. Sigh.

No. 6900

One of my close girl friends says she's "enby" for cutting her hair short, growing armpit hair and feeling good in loose clothes in contrast of over sexualized dresses
I am so sad.

No. 6982

Found out my tif acquaintance wasn't tif because she has internalized homophobia but that she's just another straight woman who consumed too much fucked up bl porn.

No. 6986

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My oldest friend said to me in a FaceTime months ago that “once she sorts out her mental health” she’s going to transition. She knows my TERF status so was definitely expecting a reaction from me, but I said nothing. I definitely couldn’t fake it and say “go for it”, or “I support you”. I didn’t want her to completely cut me off and get angry if I said that she shouldn’t do it. The only thing that felt right was to say nothing. We hardly speak now. She was my rock when I was 12 and terminally online with no friends. I always looked up to her in a big sister way and growing up together, seeing her mental health decline, has been really difficult. She’s had a lot of trauma with men, lots of family drama and she told me she got into bad crowds and started doing hard drugs. She was on drugs the night she told me she wanted to transition, I could tell. I think she was on molly, which she used to be addicted to. She also told me that she’s going to get her breasts cut off and her insurance will pay for it. I just hate how this cult devours people already struggling with mental health issues and addictions. All I can do is hope she doesn’t go through with it. I’m scared to tell her how I really feel because sometimes it makes the person entrapped in the cult double down in stubbornness, and if I get cut off from them I’ll be powerless to do anything anyway.

No. 6987

If you care, try to save her by telling her it's a bad idea. She might get mad and never talk to you again, but if you don't you lose her to the trans cult anyway.

Ask her why not following sexist stereotypes makes her less female, or even not female at all. And why she thinks being less/not a female is better.

No. 6990

I lost my best weeb friend almost a decade ago to transitioning. Even after she transitioned, we still hung out, but soon everything we used to do together was too "feminine" for her. Even though ironically enough I was more masc than her. Actually ruined being a weeb for me. I know it's retarded to still be upset about this almost a decade later, but I've never come across someone irl again who was the same level of nerdy and weeb. Her family also always made me feel really welcome.
Now my ex gf has started transitioning too, even legally changed her name and didn't even tell me (we were still friends), because she knows I have terfy opinions.
I still have some cool acquaintances (they're not friend-level close to me imo) and one great friend, but she lives really far away and it sucks to just have nobody else left near me.

No. 6992

Maybe you could try relating to her concerns, usually TIFs have issues with internalized sexism. If she suggests that maybe you are trans too, you could the use that as an opportunity to explain that those discomforts are a universal female experience, not a male one.

No. 7233

No father?

No. 7241

'Lost' a previous radfem friend I had because her niece decided to start HRT. In the early days of the news she mentioned that it was going to be tough but in the interest of being a supportive auntie and family member she'd keep her objections to herself and just be there for the girl.
A year on the kid is more of a shit than ever, my friend is on the trans ideology train and I don't know what spurred her on or what it would take to get her off again. It's frustrating as she was the only openly loud and proud radfem I had ever known but I guess in the interest of her own sanity she had to succumb to the hivemind brain? To top it all off she's a tenured science educator who previously used her knowledge to back her own points up but these days doesn't want to hear a bar of anything that would threaten her current worldview and it fucking sucks

No. 7253

I lost my bestie about two years ago to trans ideology. We were both terf-y, myself detrans. I could type paragraphs but I'll spare the ramble. It has been rough to grieve, even today. I feel mad, hurt, betrayed, worried, sad, concerned, lonely. I feel ill as I watch those around us support her, I tried so hard to help her and ended up discarded in the most hateful way. I lost my entire friend group as she waited months to tell me her new name/pronouns after everyone else already knew- effectively making me out to be misgendering her the entire time. I was told my history meant I was stupid and didn't know my own gender. I had kept my phone on my side 24/7 for her, I fed her, I gave her good chunks of my income to support her, drove her, cleaned for her, helped her with her hobbies and was told I was never there for her. I know she was manipulating me now but it still hurts, I tried so hard to help her. She has gotten worse & struggled more since, I fear for her. Even with all the hurt she caused I hate to see her heading down what is such a doomed future at the pace she is. I've spent many days, therapy sessions, grieving her and our friendship but I don't think I'll ever get over it. I can never speak to her again but man do I have a lot I would say. I haven't seen her in person since but I know one day it'll happen. I don't think I'm ready to see what she's done to herself. We were so close and friends for years… I wonder what she thinks of all this.

No. 7259

Are you a moid? Only males think the father is the most important figure in a child's life and can determine its whole future.
The majority of fathers are completely uninvolved in the child's life they don't even know basic info about them like who is their doctor or what their grade is. If anything fathers ruin children because they often molest them and beat them. Males are completely worthless parasitic beings and everyone is better off without them in their lives.

No. 7294

my baby sister. but she's coming back around slowly I think. I will never forgive my parents for comparing us growing up. I'm much older than her (9 years), and they would use me as a model for her to mimic which was just inhumane. I wasn't aware of the extent since I went to college already when she was only 9 years old. She also dealt with body image issues, and was a little chubby in her middle school years. She started dying her hair in high school and I noticed "they/them" in her instagram bio last year.

I took her out on a girl's vaca/trip not too long ago to just talk these things out without attacking her or anything, but after really thinking about what my parents did to her, I can see why she fell into the troon movement because she essentially was made to think she "failed" at being a girl. She rationalized that she can't beI know a lot of people are going to get mad at me for saying this, since it does funnel back into male centered beauty standards, but I did take her out to get her hair/makeup done just to make her feel a bit better. It doesn't get to the root of the problem, but sometimes interim solutions are helpful. She was beaming, she felt so cute. I've been checking her instagram and I noticed the pronouns are gone so I'm going to say it's a step in the right direction. But she also wasn't very responsive when I asked questions like "how do you not feel like a girl? what does feeling like a girl feel like?"

I want her to be in my life for a long time, but i can't bare to imagine if she transitions.

I have been noticing that so many of the girls that got into this movement are youngest children or at least the youngest daughter. Something to really think about. Talk to her, as it awkward as it is, it's never too late. I wish you luck.

No. 7343

I lost two middle school BFFs who became TIFs (FTM and NB). The FTM one is way deeper into transition, she began using male name and I don’t know if she changed it legally but last time I looked her up, she even uses a different male name than when I knew her.
The second one probably doesn’t post much about being a TIF anymore and she got some normie boyfriend but became very irritating anyway. Even though they were both important to me, I finally realized parting with them was better for me.

There’s some distant family member, a girl whom I never met. She’s a teenager and I knew her family lived in Ireland, can’t remember if they’re still are there. I heard from someone else she’s becoming a TIF and wants mastectomy.

No. 7397

Let her know that most women do this and it doesnt make them any less of a woman…

No. 7398

Please talk to him. The most you can do as a mother is try your best, but do not blame yourself. Outside influences are really bad, but i believe in you. Your words and understanding will mean a lot. Listen to him and try to determine where the source is coming from. He's most likely gay but scared to come out.

No. 7479

Thanks anon but he won't speak to me anymore. Him being gay was never a secret or even a problem. I asked him to explain so I could understand, but he was so patronising and aggressive, talking down to me like I didn't know anything about being a woman. His personality changed for the worst so suddenly. After that his hostility got worse and worse and he left one day simply because of a trivial argument about unrelated things. His school counsellor got him a social worker and a place to live with other teenagers and said that privacy laws mean I have no right to know where he is. I can't even tell anyone for the shame of it so every time they ask after him I make something up.

I can only hope that he doesn't go any further. I probably should just stop reading about this stuff because there's not anything I can do anymore and imagining the worst isn't helpful. I knew I was mediocre as a parent but I never imagined I'd fail this badly. I was too young and everything was left up to me and I choked.

No. 7640

someone i knew from high school.
He was a miserable, ugly, smelly and just an outright awful and mentally unwell individual before he trooned out, and to the surprise of nobody all of those traits have magnified tenfold, except now he's become a sexual predator and he's tried to assault me more than once.

it'd gotten to the point where i couldn't see my high school friends until i came out about it. I genuinely didn't feel safe being in the same space as him.

I have a few troons in my main friend group now, they're mostly harmless but my GOD they have absolutely no sense as to when to shut the fuck up. The constant barrage of oversharing and """deep""" conversations in the group chat is annoying. They're vulgar and really over-political and just hard to talk to.

I am so fucking sick of hearing them reducing their view of "womanhood" to high heels, makeup and degenerate fetishes. I am so sick of going to parties and seeing ugly men in shit makeup prance around and act like anime girls. I am so, so fucking sick of it.

I am sick of being around pornsick people who make their personality what they jerk off to. I'm sick of the LARPing, all of it. it's stomach churning.

No. 7641

A lot of men troon out due to a lack of masculine father figures or hating women (heard both these points from experience of knowing these sorts of people) do your best to be present, please spend time with him and help him have more childhood memories, go hiking, fishing, go to the arcade, play games together etc etc

No. 7642

Its coming from a source online (games, discord, online chats etc) or at school. Ban him from the internet for a while or change schools. Sounds drastic but if you want to save your son then that is all you can do.

No. 7643

Stop being around these people. Simple solution.
There are women out there who are normal and have normal friendship groups, stop pushing yourself to do this because of nostalgia.

No. 7644

Such is the life of a boymom. What will you do when the inevitable rape accusation comes up?

No. 7645

My childhood friend and first girlfriend, and I feel responsible because I introduced her to the LGBT sphere when we were 11, both "in love" with each other but haven't yet realised. It was just a childish crush. I was the first one who fully outed myself as a lesbian and she soon followed, then she asked me out and we were girlfriends for a few years. Then puberty hit and she got really into all the gender bullshit. She broke up with me because she started really considering transition as she told me years later, but it was probably also because I never truly treated her like a girlfriend, more like a friend because I was too shy to show affection. I reached out to her recently, asked how she's doing now. And suprise suprise, she's fully trans. I shouldn't feel guilty, but I believe that if I hadn't exposed her to the gay gender cult when we were kids she might've never even considered transitioning.
My second girlfriend turned tranny was my highschool best friend for two years, and my reason for peaking. So I guess I should thank her, in a way. She mentally deteriorated because of her poor family situation. A really crazy bpd type, twitterfag with self diagnosed adhd and autism. She is trans/nonbinary now. On twitter asks people to refer to her in angel/angelself pronouns and talks about autismgender(?). Me and my friend cut all contact with her. She's a druggie art student now.

No. 7649

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women in my nerdy internet hobby aren't exactly trooning out but they are guzzling the gendie kool-aid; the avalanche slide from she/her to she/they to "any pronouns! uwu!" or like… she/he is something is frustrating to watch. i know that doesn't mean they're trans and i'm fairly certain it's to be trendy and fit in with their friends but god it pisses me off so bad. especially when they're called a woman & they go "ummm i'm not a woman though tehe? i'm she/he look at my pronoun roles"

No. 7743

A girl I went to college with trooned out about 7 years ago. She was always out as a lesbian, and I might've been guilty to gaybaiting her sometimes when I drank too much, but I don't know, I guess I got flirty with anyone who would allow me. This was ten years ago and I was younger. Anyway, she was always so sweet and shy and could take a good joke and be silly when needed. I didn't know her super well, I can only recall as many times on one hand hanging out together, but I guess she felt close enough to me to tell me she was molested when she was younger. I had never had anyone admit anything like that to me so I just felt so bad for her. She ended up moving away across the country, I still had her as a Facebook friend and then I saw her start heading down the pipeline. About three years later she came back to town for an anime convention and she visited me at my booth. She seemed like a completely different person, so loud and annoying. I'd never seen her like that before. She seemed like she couldn't even keep up with a normal conversation, she was just blasting words into the air. It was really strange, because she used to be so much more reserved. I initially wrote it off as maybe she gained some confidence, but now, years later I think she's just going full speed ahead in her own delusions. It's been around 7 years since she started transitioning, she cut off her boobs, her hair is gone and she has the worst pubey sliver of manbeard I've ever seen. I haven't really spoken to her deeply in years but she just used to be so cute and kind and I'm just so sad seeing what she's become.

No. 7793

I used to have a close guy friend growing up that was always a bit insecure because he was short and skinny, but despite that always seemed pretty secure in his identity. A pretty much standard, typical dude. Once he entered university he started to get increasingly pretentious, writing long texts on facebook about how we as society should be more accepting towards each other etc, light mode virtue signaling. Shit you knew he didn't 100% believe in when you talked to him irl. When we were around 25 he started cosplaying and soon after he started hanging out with a group of gender specials which got his pretentious ass in overdrive and each of his outbursts online were more performative woke than the other with comments full of genderspecials agreeing with him to so even questioning his weird rhetorics would end up getting you dog piled by his retarded fans. One day he suddenly drops he's a "demi girl" and a year later he troons out. All of us that knew him for years were in complete disbelief because it was so out of character for him despite his woke online persona. I finally deleted him off all my friend lists when he made a post on international women's day about how it is a privilege for us to have periods.

No. 9532

Sage because so far she's not actually trooning out (thank god), it's more so that I'm losing her to the tra social contagion.

My best friend came out recently, which I don't have an issue with at all, even though I think she chose a label that sounds a little extra kweer. The problem is she's in a situationship with an enby and is drinking all the TQ+ kool-aid. You can clearly see that this girl she's hanging around is influencing her views. It's getting in the way of spending time with her because now she's always bringing up pronouns. When we have conversations, she'll stop to correct herself when saying "women" and clunkily replace it with crappy jargon like "feminine-presenting" or "identifies as female". I can't help but wonder if the themby she's sleeping with chastised her for not using inclusive enough language before because you almost get the sense she's walking on eggshells around the topic of gender. She's also done a few things that are really out of character for her. Naturally, I have worries she's going through a self-destructive, rebellious phase and losing her sense of self or something. My worst fear is she'll try to change her gender identity and ultimately seek medical transition.

I don't think I'll ever tell her I'm a terf unless she eventually peaks on her own. I don't even want to chance risking our friendship, it's just not worth it. Sadly, I can already feel us drifting apart all the same. She's changed so much I hardly recognize her. I can't even imagine how everyone else on this thread feels. Any tips? I'm open to suggestions.

No. 9619

Try telling her she doesn't have to censor herself around you (or normal people) and that the word "woman" isn't a bad word to be avoided.

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