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No. 66278
Because of derailing in various threads, it's clear that a lot of people have dealt with someone significant in their life with Narcissistic Personality Disorder or maybe another similar personality disorder.
This isn't just for people with narcissistic moms or even parents. Significant others, siblings, or any kinds of similar experiences can be discussed.
Some links:
/r/raisedbynarcissists:
https://www.reddit.com/r/raisedbynarcissists/description:
http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder/basics/definition/con-20025568 No. 66371
>>663371. How did you manage to get diagnosed? All the NPD's I know irl seem to think there's absolutely nothing wrong with them.
2. What are common thought distortions and delusions that you experience?
3. What do you think is the source of your NPD?
4. Do you think you will ever experience empathy like a normal person?
Thank you for your time, anon
No. 66374
>>66358it was a joke, sweets :)
it's the nature of the written medium to not convey such things, but oh well, i thought it was silly.
it is win win, hence the joke.
No. 66375
>>66307Ouch, this post hit home for me.
I was also crying at Venus's situation. Honestly it's so heartbreaking to see it happening to someone else. I didn't even know about this whole NPD thing until that.
I'm also secretly in a relationship with a man who's "poor" and not accepted by my mother. I mean he's not from some upper class family, neither is he super rich from his job, but it's enough to look after both of us. We've known each other for 10 years and really love each other.
I put up with her abuse (both physical and emotional) for 18 years and then I finally escaped by going to university and staying at dorms. It was incredibly difficult and the only way she "let" me go was because I had to really work hard to make her seem like her decision to send me off. I lied and told her I was doing a degree that she wanted me to do (so she can brag to the family.)
She then found out about my boyfriend (while I was visiting home, I was around 20 at the time) and started getting very violent towards me. I tried to escape and I managed to get out for a few hours. But then she called me and got my brother to call me and convince me to come back so we can talk about it. And stupid me did so. As soon as I re-entered the house, she literally grabbed me, threw me into the hallway and started beating me again. I tried leaving the house again and she broke my leg (by stamping on it continuously) and also took my phone so I couldn't call the police.
The whole ordeal is still a really traumatic memory for me. When I managed to leave, I broke contact with her and refused to break up with my boyfriend. She disowned me for an entire 6 months and then started to contact me again as she wanted to make up. Of course all the guilt tripping came with it so I ended up seeing her again and pretended I broke up with my boyfriend.
I wish I could be as strong as you anon, but it's so difficult for me. It's been indoctrinated into me that I belong to her and that I must always feel guilty if she's not happy. The guilt of leaving her was seriously eating away at me. It's not that I don't know she's toxic. It's mainly the fact that I know she can't change the way she is and she genuinely doesn't understand what she does is wrong. It makes me feel sorry for her, makes me feel bad that her own daughter (me) is abandoning her. I can't shake this mentality and I've had counselling since 16 years old.
How did you do it anon? No matter how many times I am told my others, including therapists and counsellors, that it's not wrong to completely cut off contact, I can't seem to believe it. I am so unhappy in my current situation - whilst I'm not living with her, I still "belong" to her (so I'm lying about my uni course, lying that I don't have a boyfriend) and it's a massive lie that will be revealed soon. I know when it does, it's going to blow up. Whilst I don't mind her disowning me again from it, it hurts me knowing she will be genuinely upset and crying from the fact I lied to her and I'm not the perfect daughter I pretend to be.
It's really ripping away at me and everyone is telling me to tell the truth now and escape but I can't bring myself to do it.
No. 66390
>>663711. I was forced into treatment because of severe self harm. I have a history of other issues including eating disorder and a severe psychotic episode in my teens. I've also been diagnosed with BPD. I knew I'd be given that one but the NPD was a complete surprise to me (lol Iknow) and I was so pissed at my therapists for that.
2 My biggest one has to be the fact that everything in the world, good and bad, revolves around me. I know rationally that it isn't the case but it never sinks in. If something someone says makes me feel the slightest bit bad, to me that was their intention all along and retaliate. Im obsessed with influencing how everyone thinks and acts. Every single person has to react to me in a way that I want. 99% of the time love me or fear me.
I have severe anger management issues as well.
3.According to my therapist its a combination of something neurological and my upbrigning. My mother was extremely intrusive and demanding and also aggressively raised me to be, and believe that I am, absolutely perfect. None of my narcie traits were ever really discouraged.
4. Honestly I don't know. I understand empathy and I can fake it very well but feeling forced to fake it makes me angry as hell. My boyfriend knows Im NPD and he claims that Ive improved in the last two years Ive been in intensive therapy but he also thinks I dont lie to him so yeah he's not a very reliable source.
>>66372of course not. Its about inflicting pain. For me personally, it's usually about undermining the other persons credibility if I suspect they have some shit on me. Sometimes I lie about other people just to have something interesting to tell people.
No. 66394
>>66390Aw, thats sucks. I was hoping I could trick my mother into going to see a doctor by going there too since she insisted that I'm the one being an aggressive liar after I confronted her on one of her recent lies about me, but that isn't going to work if she doesn't believe in her words.
Anyway! What would you recommend to someone in Venus situation? How to get away from someone like you if you don't want them to get away?
No. 66397
>>66394unless she wants help the therapy will do shit. Narcies have to hit rock bottom and ruin their own life before they'll accept the fact that they need help.
As for Venus, I hope she lasts long enough to get a properly new perspective on the whole situation. Manipulation is easy when you can feed people tiny little things every day and control their everyday lives. It becomes much harder when they leave and have important experiences without you. I think Margo's mistake was being TOO controlling. It's a delicate balance of keeping the person close but keeping them wanting more, although I guess in mother daughter relationships it's different.
If Venus lasts long enough to see what outsider saw, she'll get some sort of a wake up call. But it seems that Margos already made a date to meet up to bring her a teddy or whatever so I would't get my hopes up. Manaki seems like wuss but he might be able to help. I hope V's got an overwhelming sense of freedom fresh in her memory, that'll make it harder for Margo to lure her back.
Anyways I gotta run to work, I'll answer more q's when i get back
No. 66406
>>66307Yeah, I have always felt relatable to Venus after I looked into her whole thing and realized how nuts her mom is.
When I was young my parents divorced and my parents got joint custody, with me staying most of the time at my mom's. For my whole childhood I was told that my dad was a bad man who tried to kill me and tried to kill her and push her down stairs when she was pregnant. As a kid I believed these things…how could I not? Who would lie about things like that? But eventually when I was 12 or so I started to wonder why it was that even though he did all these things, he wasn't in jail and I was still allowed to see him. Not only that, he pretty much never let me leave visiting him without going clothes shopping or eating whatever meal I want and sending me off with a few twenties that I couldn't tell my mom about. It just didn't add up.
I finally got the courage to bring it up to my mom when I was 16 or so and she more or less sob-storied me and said MORE horrible stuff about my dad and just wanted to know how I could even question it.
I asked my aunt (her sister) and my grandma (her mom) about it and they confirmed what I always thought…that it was all just absolute lies. I talked to my dad about it and he said that she had told all of their mutual friends these horrible things, and ruined his reputation.
I never brought it up with her again. She pretty much fucked my relationship with my dad to the point that it's still hard to talk to him sometimes and I am well into my 20s. Thankfully she kicked me out when I was 17 so I escaped anymore abuse. I dont know Venus's dad or anything but it made me think that maybe Margo wouldn't be above doing the same shit my mom did. I know for sure if my parents didn't have joint custody I would have never seen him again despite his side of the family always being there for me when my mom wasn't.
No. 66578
>>66577I was the first one who shared my NPD experience with my parents and I'd love hear your stories on it. I'd share some myself but honestly I felt like that rant was more of a r/offmychest thing so its good.
Do you have any mental disorders like PTSD or anxiety produced from it?
No. 66586
>>66582I can't really say what's the "biggest", they all feel like the biggest at the time. I think objectively cutting myself in front of them or forcing their hand to cut me was pretty shitty, thats happened a couple of times. These people still like me for some reason haha. I get forgiven easily.
I don't have too many super dramatic life-ruinings in my past. I want people to love me so I can't come accross as a huge monster. Usually I just spread lies and try to turn mutual friends against them.
No. 66684
My grandma is the stereotypical narcissistic grandmother. My uncle is her "golden child" (an extension of her) and she blames his son from a former girlfriend for every slight inconvenience in his life. She hates that kid and it makes me so mad because 1. he's an angel and 2. my uncle has tried to get by with being in his life as little as possible since he was a baby yet he still makes the effort to reach out to his dad. He basically raised himself, helped support his mother and is now about to become a psychiatrist. He's an incredible guy, but his existence is a personal insult to our grandma. My uncle doesn't join in when she goes on one of her rants about my cousin being a "rotten kid", but he doesn't to a whole lot to stop her.
This explains the whole golden child/scapegoat dynamic btw:
http://www.daughtersofnarcissisticmothers.com/mothers-with-narcissistic-personality-disorder/ No. 66689
>>66578>>66577Yo so here goes.
Both my mother and father, as well as my sister are pretty fuck people to say it plainly.
Its hard to know where to start so Ill give a summary of my childhood and move onto the present. So our father was a snake in the grass from the start, partied hard, was the popular kid, etc. So my mother was a really quiet and sheltered girl, and due to pressure from our grandparents, dated random guys. So after a disaster of a marriage, a princess daughter and a broken condom son later, the shit got bad. Our mother is insane and has had an absolute stranglehold on my life up until recently. She forced what high school I was going to, what grades I got, who i was friends with, what I did online, what I read, and who I was allowed to date. I never dated. She attempted it with my sister but that ended in my sister already sleeping with random older guys since she was 12, partying constantly, threats to burn down the house, breaking into and destroying a bunch of the furniture and doors in the house, nearly going to jail countless times, stealing money from me, and more.
Now to clarify things, my family on my moms side (I have little or no contact with fathers side) has been affectively a forced matriarchy. The men overwhelmingly turn out to be drug addicted or alcoholic losers, while nearly all the women go on to be professionally and socially successful. This is all related to a cycle of idiotic dating choices and a general hush-hush abuse of boys in the family. Now growing up, my mother would always be sure to keep my sister informed about dating, sex, money, etc. She have her everything. In my case, she was blush up, get weird, and explain things at a level worse than what you would see in an Alabama sex-ed program. Any attempt on my part would get her asking what was wrong with me, and basically some tirade about how only pigs, men who will end up in hell have any curiosity or desires. So, as a result I discovered sex online and developed all kinds of fucked up fetishes.
No. 66691
>>66689As it is, things were so controlled that making too much noise or getting at all angry at her got your door removed and you were grounded for a month over any infractions in the house. So, once my mother demanded to go through every single one of my folders when she figured out Id masturbated (she would say otherwise but this was not allowed. Nor was talking about sex in my case or that meant a beating or getting hit with an iron fire poker). Yeah it was close to as fucked as you could imagine for a 16 year old /b/ regular in 2009-2010. Crazy hentai futa shit. That absolutely destroyed any real relationship I had with her for a while, and for a year simply referred to me as "it", "that thing", or faggot. The list goes on.
Basically, they had such a stranglehold on my choices, that any girl I was interested in, they had to go through her facebook, get to know her parents, she had to go to the same school, and etc. If I said anything negative about this process especially to my sister, it became a scream-chewout about what a worthless faggot and pig I was, and that I was lucky to be allowed to date or look at girls. I never dated, and the few times I came close, they quickly lost interest and decided they would date someone whos family had more money. The one girl I became close to, I then threatened to beat and kill when she decided to call me a mistake, began dating some fedoralord with a 4 inch dick (she seriously went on these big speeches about how smart and philosophical he was), and I found out the whole time she showed screencaps of our text for years to faculty she was close to and all of our mutual friends. That situation is a story in itself.
Through the years, my sister has been abusive and then when she notices I no longer want to speak to her, will go on these huge "IM SO SORRY IM SO SORRY IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN" speeches about how Im her best friend ever. Sometimes over phone call when shes drunk and high on coke or stolen pain meds. I hate her. Over the last six years, everything sensitive thing I trusted her with was leaked to her friends who all know me as well as all the women in the family. "OH MY GOD. You will not believe how fuck up and gay he is…". The list goes on and I would not regret if if I were allowed to kill her. She has done horrible things I cannot even type. I strongly believe she is either a killer or child molester. I will tell you that a big marker of someone with NPD is projection. Some short time back, she was on for a couple weeks about "Mom. MOM. Look at him, look at how stiff and cold he is. He HAS to have some psychotic personality disorder.". This was around the time she got put on meds and straight up called batshit crazy by a psychologist.
No. 66694
>>66691One other big marker of such people is instead of saying they were ever in any wrong, is to either get angry and rationalize out why you deserved it, or refuse accountability and guilt that they were wrong, but will say such things as "Well I am sorry you were hurt." or "I hope things can heal between us, but I am sorry you have to see me this way". You get the idea.
As is obvious, sister and mother will ALWAYS redirect the topic of any conversation to themselves or something that happened at work. They actually throw tantrums and scream, then at times rant about what a horrible family this is when anyone points it out or tells them to knock it off.
This behavior goes back years and is really difficult to explain fully in my context, but as a summary, they constantly project, gaslight anyone who disagrees with them or their opirions for days at a time, frame men in the family as abusive to them, gain trust to abuse and benefit from yet act shocked when people realize what they are going to do, and generally refuse to directly admit they did anything incorrect or out of line. Cattiness and passive aggression pretty much send me to fits of rage, I have difficulty talking to people in general without getting pissed when they do anything of the sort. This shit sounds like an r9k sob story but fuck those faggots. If you wanna not be a weak faggot, look at what you deal with and try to be an honest and productive person.
No. 69194
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Anyone else feel the most recent Venus vid hit home?
I'm so glad she's so self-aware. I used to think of her as some weeby girl trying to be the next pastel aidoru but now…I just imagine margo behind the scenes of some video like "Anime Cupcakes" and it makes me feel rotten.
I almost want to make an instagram account to cheer her on.
No. 69209
>>66375Wow, the guilt trip that NPD moms can put you with :')
My mom always tell me to be an honest girl with her and that she's the only person in this world that I can trust, so I grow into a very tackless person who can't really read nuances and who doesn't care about anything else but pleasing her own mother. I've always kept things honest with my mother because of it, even though that I know that herself is full of shit, and that she lies to herself and others until herself believes her own lies.
She wanted me to go into a prestigious uni and a nice program. I did so just to please her, even though she's not supporting me in any way.
I honestly feel like being completely honest with a NPD relative is completely pointless, anon. At least you knew at some point that there is a line between yourself and your mother, and that's why you lied to her instead of obeying to all of her whims.
For me, she was everything to my world. In the end i'm stuck doing something I absolutely despise, and I feel like my identity has been robbed away.
I felt like I wasted so much time trying to please someone who'll never be satisfied.
I know you know this already, but pitying her won't return anything back for you. Between your mother and you there is no mutual benefits. You are the only one suffering. People like these are beyond redemption. They'll die thinking that they did nothing wrong and deserve everything right.
No. 69211
>>69194I sobbed a little at the part where Venus wrote "millionaires like pale skinned virgins."
I was almost glad that my NPD mother wasn't as fucked up as Margo.
I could relate so much to the abuse she had to put up with though. I also had (multiple) knife incidents during my childhood. I remember that, when I was four, my mom raised a knife at me and started scraping my neck with it because of an unrelated minor incident. There wasn't blood or anything save for some skin flaking, but I was scared shitless.
She also dropped a knife at my foot when I was 16 because I dared to talk back at her.
When I was a teen, she also tried to break through my room's door by hammering it, because I was hiding away from her.
I was taking all of it because of those fucking guilt trips, and because "she's not that bad when she's in a good mood."
No. 69241
I've got a NPD dad. He's got quite a fragile ego and kind of used me as a dummy to beat up, whenever someone dared to defy him, so he could feel in control again. And if I wasn't available to beat up, he'd abuse the dog or kill an animal. He also went on long tangents about how I'd become a hobo if I didn't get straight A's. He also thought it was necessary to strangle me if I asked something of him, like asking if he could turn the music down, in the middle of the night. He also thought it was a great idea to lock me up in a room for half a year, while he went partying and doing drugs, and only let me out because the government was asking questions about why I didn't go to school, that was a great introduction to him. He only gave me shit food, even after a pediatrician told him to start feeding me properly, well he didn't and that caused liver damage at 12.
I went to CPS multiple times, but because he isn't stupid enough to beat me while they are present, they obviously didn't believe me. So I just used an old depression diagnosis to get a therapist to visit our home every week, so my father would be more careful with me. My father slipped several times while taking to that therapist.
He only stopped using me for his fragile ego when I became 16 and got a boyfriend who is a head taller than my father and who told him that if he'd ever beat me again, he'd put my father in the hospital. So the emotional abuse kept going, but at least the physical abuse stopped.
I never had a mom to protect me or anything like that, she was out of the picture shortly after my birth (postpartum psychosis). I lived with my father from 9 to 18, before that with my grandparents.
I got rid of the depression at 16, the fact that the beating stopped probably helped. I do still have C-PTSD.
Also my father was formally diagnosed with Narcissistic personality disorder, delusions of grandeur and depression. Yeah the delusions and NPD are separate, he LITERALLY thinks he's Jesus. For a while he even tried to look like the stereotypical pictures of Jesus, and he made a fool of himself at a church by screaming he's Jesus.
No. 69459
>>69211Holy fuck, anon. I'm so sorry.
>>69209Oh dude, I really feel you on the honesty bit. I was basically raised by her notion that "unless you give absolutely every single detail, you're LYING." I was so brainwashed I didn't even think of withholding any information as I felt she'd always find out somehow. And then there'd be horrible consequences.
As an example, I secretly kept a facebook starting when I was 15-16. I just wanted to talk to my friends. I was always careful since I already knew there was monitoring software on my computer, and I told any of my friends who might be around my mom (like a girl who worked at the restaurant my mom went to 2x a week) not to mention it to her. I had a few online friends on there too, which was !!! TABOO !!!. When I was 16 or 17, she came home one night around midnight and just immediately was red-faced and furious, and said:
"Anon, do you have a FACEBOOK????"
She screamed for me to go get my computer and bring it upstairs so she could get on it and look through all my friends and see what I'd posted. I hurriedly deleted a few off the list while she shouted that it was taking me too long. She took my "computer privileges" away for about 4-6 months after that. Like it was literally stored in their room unless I had to use it for a project, and even then I had to ask for permission and use it in a public room. When I finally got the courage to ask for it back, my mom said "No one said you couldn't have it."
WHAT THE FUCK. BITCH IT'S BEEN IN YOUR CLOSET.
Telling her the day after I lost my virginity to my then-boyfriend………that's a whole other story.
No. 69948
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>>66371i might as well answer these as well since i'm diagnosed with NPD as well.
1. the school i went to, and my parents, forced me to see a psychiatrist when i was 16 after being kicked out of school due to mental instability and bullying. i see nothing wrong with me because i'm flawless. i now attend a school for "troubled kids".
2. i have a god complex, and i'm better than everyone and could kill anyone i wanted to. i constantly harass people because i feel nobody else deserves happiness except for me.
3. how i was raised, most likely. shitty family, tons of bullying in elementary and halfway through middle school. it fucked me up
4. doubtful. ive never been able to feel empathy, but ive always had to force myself to act like i did around people so that i could hurt them in the end (ex: make a person fall in love with me, pretend i loved them back, then completely ruin their life through various methods). i dont think i need to experience empathy though.
>>66372i believe in some lies i'll spread, others i know theyre a lie and i'm just trying to fuck someone's reputation up.
No. 69980
>>69942it cant be a coincidence that all of these cancerous posts board-wide pretty much all look the same
idk if ur one bored ass bitch or this is a gaggle of keemfags but you all need to get out
No. 69986
>>69948you sound like the Totes Multiple System Poser mod of thatnpdfeel tumblr.
Love, the other npdnon
No. 70012
>>69992Did you have a traumatizing, unhappy childhood? Are you unable to speak up for yourself and just go along with whatever craziness around you? Are you always pitying yourself and playing the victim? Do you have too much empathy?
Broken people are the narcissist's prey. Take some time away from people who drain your energy, and work on yourself.
No. 70116
>>70012Yes, very traumatizing, my dad was an alcoholic and my mum was very mentally ill, i would hear him beating her in the room next to my room from the ages ?-12, and mostly, no not always, yes.
Thing is i dont know how..
>>70016I dont know how, i dont know what it is..
>>70103Well, not literally everyone, i just pushed everyone who ever really cared about me away, and i did all this subconciously, but yeah its not because they dont think about me all the time, its more that their putting me down all the time, altho subtly, i wish it was BPD, i have been evaluated by psychologists before and they said i was 100% healthy, so im not sure if it is trauma or something? idk
No. 70170
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>>69942Man at least try to make bait thats actually convincing or funny you piece of shit.
No. 70241
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Awwww
No. 70310
>>69948BPD's also lack empathy though. They have all these feelz, and they are such sensitive princesses (tumblr is the perfect platform for them), but they're just as self-centered as NPDs. They're just a lot more dramatic about it.
Sauce:
http://psychcentral.com/news/2015/08/31/low-empathy-associated-with-borderline-personality/91612.html No. 71045
>>66673Can you please elaborate on the anger and insane paranoia? My ex was like that and was in his late 30s, I've been around him throwing man tantrums and he tried to make it my fault.
When you say fear of yourself or loss of control, what do you fear most and what does loss of control look like? How does it feel when you share your anger problems with others, is that a loss of control?
Thank you anon, I'm glad you're in therapy that seems to be benefitting you!
No. 76467
>>66278This thread is deader than dead and I'm probably committing necromancy by commenting on it now but I'm just really frustrated and I need to vent, and I can't really do that anywhere else, and I don't really know if it would be appropriate for me to make a new thread about NPD people but Ho. Ly. Shit.
(sorry if I sound like I'm having hard time explaining things but it's because, well….I am)
So my mom is an NMom and well. She has done The Usual Abuse stuff, except more, she has abused me emotionally, physically and at one point, sexually too, and she has defended my rapist, who raped me when I was 6 or 7 plenty of time so…. which has managed to traumatize me pretty badly.
Like not to sound like tumblr but the abuse my NMom put me through or any sort of behaviour I perceive is similar to my NMom's behaviour is a ~muh
trigger~ to me, lmao. Basically whenever someone makes me feel like they're trying to emotionally manipulate me, or control me, or manipulate/control people around me, I start to feel extremely unsafe and really uncomfortable.
This is not a problem, my NMom being a demon cunt from hell is something I've already accepted and put behind me because frankly speaking, I don't have the time or the energy to keep on caring about (even negatively) about people who have fucked me over.
The problem is, my (now ex-)friend with NPD.
No. 76472
>>71051Why the fuck do you even date people with personalities this fucking bad in the first place?
Even with my most hated ex-girlfriend, I never leaked nudes. Ever.
Unfollowing someone on Instagram = They'll leak your nudes? I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
No. 76481
>>76467I pretty much just dumped her yesterday, because as she is someone with NPD she has being saying a lot of, well, manipulative and controlling and other NPD stuff and like for a long time I had hard time accepting it but the thing is… I feel extremely unsafe around people with NPD, like I realize most of the aware ones, which she is, aren't consciously trying to be a fucking manipulative cuntbag from hell but holy shit. I, Well.. After the amount of shit my NMom put me through and after having realized she has NPD I realized that I actually, really really hate people with NPD and that people with Personality Disorders just make me feel unsafe in general.
So yesterday, I blocked her off from all my SNS (except on tumblr I softblocked her ) and holy shit she.
Okay so we had already spoken about her having NPD and how if anytime I really start feeling uncomfortable and unsafe I won't have any problem blocking her from my life and she was okay with it, she had given me her written 'acceptance' that I could dump her ass anytime I pleased and I did that yesterday but Oh my Fucking God.
Yesterday she privately messaged me on my tumblr and she was all
>What the hell anon? Did you really block me from all your SNS? I know you hate me so just say it and I'll never talk to you ever again.And I told her that I didn't hate her, per say but that she did a lot of stuff that made me feel uncomfortable and unsafe and ~
triggered~ me so I didn't want to interact with her anymore.
(cont.)
No. 76486
>>76485Do you have male role models?
For example, if your dad deeply loved your mother, use that as a template. Does your boyfriend treat you like your dad treats your mom? Does he show the same level of care and love?
I grew up with parents that were always bickering, despite the fact they loved me a lot. So I found a lot of solace in stories and history. I still believe in romantic love, no matter what anyone says.
No. 76492
>>76481And then blah blah she said something about
>I know I'm unstable these days but why are you talking to me right now?Uh…because you asked.
Anyway and then she said something about not wanting me to talk to her ever again (which I was fine with tbh I Don't really Care. Talking to you makes me Nervous)
But shit. She went off to her blog and then she was all
>I NEVER imagined you of all people would block me and the one time I talk to a person (referring to me) she call me manipulative and she stop being friends with me and she compares me TO HER ABUSER!!!!And then basically she said some guilt-trippy stuff about how I'm like her parents (who are abusive on their own rights) for not wanting to be friends with her anymore and like… I also told her, via some vague-posts in my blog that leaving her was something I did so that I could feel SAFE and COMFORTABLE. and that I did it for my own mental health because being friends with her and seeing the manipulative and controlling stuff she posted on SNS was really starting to fuck me up because it was reminding me of the shit my own mom did and I just what the fuck?
No. 76505
>>76492Like she HERSELF told me that any time I felt uncomfortable or unsafe or whatever I was okay to leave and now she was making such a huge drama about it in her blog, like I….
She wanted me to basically keep on being friends with her trashy NPD ass despite my discomfort and me feeling unsafe around her about it and like… I just….man. Aren't I allowed to feel a sense of safety and comfort, at least somewhere? Like…really, now? Why do I have to throw down my own mental health and my own safety to keep on being friends with you, fuck.
And not to mention, I always told her before that I was uncomfortable with her venting her problems out to me all the time because I'm one Privacy loving Slut but she always. ALWAYS came up to me and spoke to me about her problems and I had to help her out with her issues and be there to listen to her shit even though I was, I still am, going through huge amount of problem in my life right now, and that I've been suicidal for last couple of years but SHE STILL. CAME UP TO ME. AND VENTED OUT HER ISSUES EVEN THOUGH I WASN'T MENTALLY CAPABLE TO WIPE MY OWN SHIT FROM MY ASS BUT SHE WANTED ME TO LOOK AFTER HER.
>so hypocritical of me criticizing someone venting to me when I'm venting to you guys but it's like… At that time, I really didn't have the mental capabilities to look after my own self, forget hers. Like, she wants me to continue being her friend/therapist despite it all and I just. Dear fuck. Please, at least try to fake sympathy, if even if you can't feel it.
In conclusion: I will never be friends with a person with NPD or any other sort of aggressive PD ever again my god.
>>76502Thank you anon <3 it took me a lot of guts to do it because we have a lot of common friends but I had Enough. of it
No. 76611
>>76607this. now let's not continue to derail the thread.
>>76514How did it manifest for her? Also, does she want children? I imagine she would.
No. 77073
>>76505Oh lol the same anon here from the last time I can't believe this… she, on her blog called me ~ableist~ and ~
triggering~ for having cut her off without having told her beforehand that I didn't wanna see er anywhere near me like ummm……. Excuse me but why would I talk to you unnecessarily when you make me nervous and remind me of my NMom all the time lol… Anyway, later on then she reblogged a post of how #NotAllNPDs are abusive and I just lol. #Ok
No. 77389
>>77369I'm also afraid my BPD mother will live to torment me forever. I'm in a support group, and every time someone's abusive parent dies it's like Hey, good for you! … Party?
I know it sounds really twisted, but after all the shit these asswipes put us through when we were too small to know better… I'd just feel a lot more at easy in the world if I knew my mother could never try to hurt me anymore.
No. 77776
So here goes, i'm not sure if i have npd or some other form of cluster b but, even i have just been with a highly manipulative person just recently, he being a stupid idiot just admitted all the things he has done wrong, and i want to get revenge, he is trying to get me back right now, how do i get revenge? Fuck him and ignore him, destroy his with gaslighting(pretend i want him back, but only really fuck him up for a short while) then dump his ass, give him tons of supply but then find another guy, suggestions are welcome. and yes i'm evil, but only towards people who have done stuff he has done.
No. 105004
I'm 90% sure my mum is a narcissist. It's hard, because I do really want her to get help, but it's kind of difficult to tell your mum "hey i think you're a narc", y'know? ESPECIALLY when it's true.
She had 3 kids earlier in life, then when they got older she had me and my brother. She uses her kids as therapists/parents, everything has to revolve around her (eg she stood up at my sister's wedding and recited a poem completely impromptu because she got so mad she wasn't asked to give a speech), she's the victim of every situation, she has never apologised to me for anything in my life (the first time she came close was after repeatedly beating me in her car, she said "i came to apologise" and then rambled about how it was my fault for 10 minutes), she pitted me and my brother against my dad continuously after their divorce even though she was the one who cheated on him… The list could go on. Really fucked me up as a kid because I was taught that not putting her needs above everything else was selfish, and that "no one will ever love you more than I do".
I have a friend and personal lolcow that also claims to have NPD (but doesn't) and even though I guess I'm "selfdiagnosing" my mum with it in a way, it bothers me that she treats something that causes so much pain when untreated like some trendy label to wear.
No. 105066
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>>105004I'm so fucking embarrassed for your mom's behavior, and I'm sorry. It always blows my mind that people can still exist in society with normal facets of their life after being raised by selfish adult children.
My story is of my roommate's mother. I met her, once, and said hello while she sat emotionless on the couch. She didn't say anything back, or blink.
Basically, there are a lot of people living in our. Roommate's mom suddenly decides she wants to drive over 1,000 miles north to live with us. We beg and plead with roommate and roommate's mom to not let this happen, as she would essentially be sleeping on the floor if she moved in. We firmly said no, she didn't respond, we thought it would be the end of it.
No, she calls our roommate 2 or 3 days later and says that she's in the city, staying in a hotel, and she won't be spending money for another night there. We're flipping shit. Roommate admirably holds her ground at the urgent requests of all other roommates.
My boyfriend gets ahold of her number and texts her saying in the most polite fashion (this is poorly quoted) "We literally have no floor space. It's nothing personal, please don't think that this was your kid's decision, it was ours, so don't take it out on Roommate."
She flips shit, calls my boyfriend back cursing him out, calling him ungrateful (for what I don't know) and ignorant, and my boyfriend told her to fuck herself and hung up.
A few days later, my roommate makes contact with the estranged majority of her family (her family is estranged from the rest of it) and her aunt basically tells her she has 60K left to her from her dead grandfather. Shortly after, she finds out that her mother and father hid it from her and spent it.
Welp. I'd say that was a scary N experience for me, and this pretty much happened entirely over the phone, and not towards me. The horrors. I feel so bad for roommate, but she's so fucking awesome, once again, I am left in awe at how she is so put together, you wouldn't expect those horrible people were her parents.
No. 105087
>>105066Thanks, anon. It's taken a lot of therapy but I'm getting there. I mostly just wish now that I could get her to get the same help; yeah parents like that are shitty and it doesn't at all excuse the behaviour, but they are still sufferers themselves in a sense.
Kudos to your roommate for being able to put up with that too. Definitely sounds like she got a bad case of a narcissistic mother too.