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No. 111865

Does anyone else have an SO with a lot of female friends? Do you ever get jealous? What kinds of boundaries do you set? What's your relationship like with their friends? Have they ever been shitty to you?

My husband pretty much only gets along with women and gay men, which isn't really an issue for me since it's a bunch of girls and not the token hot female best friend like some guys have. Most of them have been fine, but there were two I had issues with.

First one
>extremely territorial of him
>firmly established herself as #1 in his life and me as #2
>blatantly disrespected me on a level that to this day I have never experienced from a grown ass woman and hope I never do again
>he dropped her pretty much immediately when she started pulling this shit

And then the second friend was friends with her and basically ran with this narrative that I was a controlling psycho who wouldn't let him be friends with girls. Which was rather enraging since there was only one fucking girl out of like 8 I didn't want him to be friends with and she gave me damn good reason. Im also a lot more chill about it than a lot of girls are, like I have no problem letting them hang out one on one reasonably often. He stopped talking to this girl as well, though never formally declared the end of their friendship because she moved away and there was no need to.

No. 111870

my fiance isn't a fucking retard an can tell when girls are being sketchy. he cut out some unsavory girls when we first started dating without me asking. the only issue was he kept contact with a girl threatening to kill herself cause he felt sorry for her, but she got cut out as well when she was harassing me.

having someone who's not scared to introduce you to their friends and will listen to you about them is the most important thing. otherwise it's red flags.

No. 111871

my SO's closest female friend is his cousin and but he views more like a sister but i feel she views him more then that
she always seems to comment his body and how well built he is
and is always doing stuff for him that he didn't ask her(like cleaning the table,bringing him beer from the fridge even when he didn't want or ask for beer) and also "borrowing" his shirts and never giving them back

No. 111873

There are 3 girls in my bf's friend group and I didn't have any issue with none of them, but one did.
I was a bit wary at first since his only ex was in his friend group but she's the sweetiest girl alive and we get along perfectly. The second one is the group leader, loud personality but very positive. Plus she's engaged.
The third one is an instathot who thought my bf liked her and enjoyed having him as an orbiter. As soon as he started dating me she started a lot of shit but luckily everyone jumped at her. My bf got really mad and he's still not talking to her except small talk.
I was never the jealous type except for major signs, and everyone understood when I flipped my shit.

No. 111874

I don't mind my boyfriend having female friends, I've met a few of them and they're genuinely nice. However I do remember noticing he would check this one girls Facebook more often than others. I ended up blocking the girl because I felt something was bothersome, he did mention they shortly dated.
About a few months afterwards, he finally opened up to me about the fact she raped him. She honestly looked like she was fucked up. I never saw her in person so that's a good thing.
Other than that, my boyfriend's told me a friend he felt the closest to happened to have been a lesbian mostly because she was into the most random shit, like if she was bored she'd suggest everyone come over to her house to watch the movie Zenon and like be unironic about it too.

No. 111895

Yeah my boyfriend is incredibly autistic when it comes to girls and can’t tell a girl is hitting on him hard until she explicitly states that she has a crush on him or trying to make a move. Which is enraging because sometimes he‘ll totally fall for their manipulation and comes off as if he‘s interested as well when he actually doesn’t realize what’s happening.

One girl really took the cake though.
To my face she was always like ‘Oh it’s so great you two are dating!’ ‘I really like your girlfriend!’ ‘I’m so happy for you!’
But whenever they were alone she wouldn’t back tf off. Like, talk to him on the phone about how she can’t masturbate and needs sex to get off and shit.
One day she visited him while he was painting his room and only sit next to him and talk about how sexually frustrated she was and how badly she needs it. Thankfully she didn’t stay long and he wasn’t interested in all. She asked him to come with her meet her friends and spend the night but he declined. He then spontaneously came over to my place and of course, just a few hours later, she called him drunkenly, crying about how lonely she was and that she really wants him to drink with her.
That’s where I snapped and told him that this piece of shit very obviously wants to hook up. He was kinda shocked first but after I listed all the signs he realized too.

He then pretty much stopped talking to her. She did try to get in touch every few months but he didn’t really want to talk to her.

Turns out she’s actually psycho, nowadays a cleptomanic drug addict and homeless. Glad he cut her out of his life.

No. 111900

>Does your SO have a lot of female friends?
My boyfriend only has one female friend from what I can recall, I find her fucking annoying though because she's so dumb and that she bitches about her problems all the time, asks for advice and refuses to follow it, and then the cycle continues. It just comes off as she wants attention instead of genuinely wanting help.

>Do you ever get jealous?

I'm not really jealous of anyone because it'd mean I'm lacking something, I am very possessive and obsessive of him though.

>What kinds of boundaries do you set?

Block 'em if the bitch sends a selfie of herself out of no where. Block them if they're saying sexual shit and flirting.

No. 111904

Keeping your boyfriend from speaking to other women just makes cheating more appealing because it's naughty and exciting.

No. 111905

>makes cheating more appealing

Someone who’s in a happy, committed relationship shouldn’t find cheating appealing to begin with.

No. 111906

This, if my partner BANNED me from men I still wouldn't cheat lmao.
I would leave though since my only friend is male and we aren't attracted to each other in the least. It would be a weird controlling move.

Generally, I think it's healthy to have friends outside of your gender. As long as they're not weirdly close (like cuddling or its clear she likes him) and dont discuss sex (I'd stop with my friend too) then it's fine.

No. 111913

My boyfriend has a lot of female friends and it hasn't really bothered me much, but one of them he told me was his best friend, how his mum thinks they're dating and how they're really cuddly together, and I had really big reservations about him hanging out with her 1:1 as they'd slept together just before I met him. I never asked him not to hang out with her but I did tell him it made me uncomfortable at the very early stages of our relationship just because the last time they had hung out 1:1 they had sex and had feelings for each other briefly.

I've since gotten to know her though and she's actually really lovely. She just posts a lot of nudes on social media and sleeps with a lot of guys so I was a bit intimidated at first and wrongly prejudged her. We talk all the time and I consider her a really close friend of my own.

No. 111917

No, I wouldn’t say he has female friends, just as I don’t really have male friends. We have opposite sex coworkers and acquaintances but these aren’t people we hangout with outside of work. We might text them lightly or things like that but it’s always professional. Really the only exception is I have one male friend who has become his friend too, and his fiancé has become my friend as well. So when we hangout we are all together.

Him having a close female friend would be a big red flag to me, because he keeps his circle very small and his close friends can be counted on his hand. I am the same way and if I was suddenly hanging out with and confiding in another man there would be an issue.

For people who are more open with their friendships, I don’t think having opposite sex friends should be an issue, but for very guarded people like my partner and I it is most definitely a red flag.

No. 111921

their is this woman who is one my Husbands work colleagues and by all accounts they seem to have a professional relationship,I mean their not friends or anything just good workmates
however I started noticing somethings
like she sent me a friend request on Facebook(Husband doesn't have a Facebook account but I have pictures of him on my account)
the few times I have met her she seemed nice but I felt this disdain towards her in the way would compliment always complement my husband and felt she was belittling me
>"oh your taller then I expected"
>"I didn't except [husband] wife to look how you do"

so I'm still on the fence of telling my husband to cut off contact with her

No. 111925

My husband doesn't really have close friends, but quite a few casual friends are female. I'm fine with it as long as they don't hit on him. I trust him not to cheat, I just want other people to respect our marriage.

When we were dating, I asked him to stop talking to two women and it wasn't a big deal because they were just on some dumb video game but it at was at a time in his life when he would spend all day playing video games so I wasn't comfortable with their behavior. Calling him Daddy, flirting, making a valentines day thing for him, nah.

Recently, a coworker of his got our of a relationship and has been making the rounds at work trying to get one of the young guys there to date her and flirting heavily. It's awkward but I don't feel threatened by it.

Basically all I want is
1. for women to not hit on him
2. if he gets hit on, shut it down

No. 112067

My partner doesn't have many friends at all, much less female ones, but I'd only really be bothered in 2 scenarios:

>making these new friends via social media, like following them on IG then suddenly a friendship coming out of nowhere

>if friendships were intense, especially if they only happened somewhere I could never be (like at work), or never/reluctantly included me

Basically I don't have an issue unless it would give me a reason to be suspicious. Which is saying a lot, as I used to be the most jealous person ever. Honestly if a man's gonna cheat he'll cheat, and if you have an issue because the woman is disrespectful then it's up to you to say something and see if he'll take you seriously. If not, then…

No. 170695

Neither of us have close friends of the opposite sex. I never see it end well with my friends, and he also agrees that nothing good ever seems to come out of it. Being on a friendship-y basis (as in, meeting in a group setting, exchanging numbers, add each other on SNS etc) with partners of friends, or him being that way with my female friends/me being that way with his male friends is fine, but meeting one-on-one would be mad suspicious in our case lmao.

No. 170699

My long-term ex exclusively had female friends
He had dated basically all of them that weren't his coworkers
I never got jealous
I broke up with him for the same reason they all did; he's extremely sweet and outgoing but eventually you realize he has autism or maybe he's retarded
And then you realize oh jesus christ, I've been having sex with a special needs person
And there's really just no way to recover from that

No. 170735

My fiancée and I hang out with almost the same group of people, 50/50 male/female, and we’re very cuddly with each other, regardless of gender. I don’t have any issues as long as they don’t show any kind of interest in him, and still it’s always so clear we’d die for each other that they drop the act instantly.
I only had issues with an ex friend who would try to fuck the both of us and created a lot of drama (she was even dating one of our friends while trying to have threesomes with us).

No. 170736

I had several SOs with female friends and every single time, like clockwork, it either turned romantic or used to be romantic. Guys will cry "jealous!" over it to cover their asses because they know it's true, and cool girls will eat it up and push aside their feelings to show how cool and totally not jealous they are about it.

>Scrote #1

I was his first gf but he had a long-term crush on one of his best female friends. She wouldn't give him time of day so he got with me because he was desperate. He slept with her several times as soon as we broke up. She still wouldn't get with him, sometimes they have threesomes with guys she actually wants to fuck when she isn't drunk. He cries about it, but it's what he deserves.

>Scrote #2

Not much to say here, had yellow fever and treated me like shit while pining for his "close online friend" from Korea. Said outright to me that he loves women and has many female friends, and if I have a jealousy problem he'll dump me. Ogled Asian girls, watched Japanese porn, gaslit me and got angry when I asked him how his day went because it turns out he'd been fucking a 'friend' behind my back.

>Scrote #3

Likewise had two close female friends. He was older than me by 9 years but one of his close friends (the one he wanted to fuck) was my age. He sent her air kisses when they met, was super chivalrous towards both of them but made me pay for my own drinks, admitted to me that he had a crush on the younger girl, said she was 'prettier than me because she had bigger tits and any guy would agree with him' during a fight. Sent her cutesy heart emojis but not me. Still accused me of being jealous and gaslit me when I said I didn't like this. Probably couldn't get with her because she was out of his league so he went after me. Was ugly but said we were "on the same level" lookswise.

Anyway, I'm wary of scrotes with female friends, not because of the girls themselves but because scrotes can't be friends with women they don't want to fuck.

No. 170739

They can be friends but there have to be clear boundaries, from the beginning.

No. 170743

Even if there are boundaries, they're still going to low-key orbit the girl they're interested in until she either cuts them off or wants a relationship and treat their actual gf like shit.

No. 170748

I'd agree with it because I think it's a kind of a red flag if there's not a single woman feeling ok in a presence of a guy you're dating. Like >>170736 though I have zero positive experiences with single women guys I dated were friendly with, but my current bf has a friend that is a lesbian and another one that is a wife of his male friend, and it all seems fine and healthy.
Somehow I was significantly less worried about any kinds of friends when I dated another bi woman, maybe it's naive but I trust women much more.

No. 170751

That.. seems extremely interesting.
How did you meet him, how did you not realise this sooner, and what does the life of a nice playboy retard look like ?

No. 170752

I prefer guys with female friends. Having all female friends is a red flag, or maybe their absolutely bestie being a girl is a red flag, but in high school I almost exclusively hung out with groups that were 50/50 guys and girls. I think guys who are friends with girls are better at treating the women they date as people cause they can relate to them as a friend. Same also goes for guys with sisters.

No. 170753

I fucked a guy with a speech impediment a couple of times but we were always smoking so much weed together I couldn't figure out if he actually had a speech impediment or not until I asked another girl who knew both of us. So like,,, happens,

No. 170770

Not really in my experience. Acquaintances for sure, casual work friends sure, but actual friends, as in people they hang out with regularly, are always girls they want to pursue.

No. 170772

My current bf tried this "I get along w women better than men" thing on our 3rd date.

But he would be talking to them all hours of the night, so I was like, "Hey we're closing the gap on 30. You and I both have enough life experience now to know how this turns out. I need you to have better boundaries."

He tried the whole jealousy thing but I mean… come on. Lmfao. I am not a child. I seriously considered ending things for pulling that line. Anyway it caused major drama, predictably. Now he has both these girls blocked and agrees he was being stupid for acting like there wasn't anything more happening.

There are definitely exceptions like in the case with this anon >>170699

In general, I don't fall for this. My rules are: no texting buddies, no hanging out one-on-one, no thirst-following people on social media.

It is possible to have girl friends without talking to them all day, going out with them, and liking their thirst traps on insta. It really is possible. We can go on double dates with them or hang out in a group.

No. 170774

That's where the clear boundaries are important.

>OKAY: Hanging out in a group.

>NOT OKAY: Hanging out one-on-one.

>OKAY: A quick text conversation/phone call.

>NOT OKAY: Texting/calling each other every day.

>OKAY: Talking about work, hobbies, whatever connects you.

>NOT OKAY: Talking about sex, complaining about your S/O.

No. 170776

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Literally me except he had fewer flings. I'm slightly autistic myself, but I've always been socially aware enough to pick up on when someone is "off". I was just insecure enough to keep dating him until I finally realized, damn, he's more autistic than me. Or maybe I'm not self aware enough and he was on my level. I don't fucking know. But you shouldn't stay with someone who makes you cringe internally, even if you love them in a weird way…

Fucking hell, what's a girl to do if she's a friendless autist but can't stand autistic/weird men? I'm a hypocrite.

No. 170778

these are really good points, especially the point about red flags if your bf has absolutely zero women in his orbit. like, while i do think men can and should minimise the opportunity for issues with other (single) women to arise, i don't think it's normal for men to not have any female friends or at least comfortable acquaintances, and i don't think it's okay to actively stop your partner from speaking to absolutely any women ever 'just in case'.

tbh, sometimes i feel as though some girls who act like all other women are demons trying to seduce their men just need to get better boyfriends and a better sense of self worth. i empathise with them and understand why so many women are concerned about it, but sometimes it reeks of insecurity

No. 170834

If your SO has multiple female friends he's either gay or a whore sorry anons.

No. 170836

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We met on okcupid, he doesn't really come off the same way in text, and I was on a massive dose of zoloft and smoking weed at the time. I think if not for the zoloft, I would have noticed right away, honestly
He and friend (female of course) rented a small house together, she had a cat she wouldn't take care of, so he adopted the cat. He was a teachers aid for the behavioral disorder kids, he's the guy who has to keep the kids calm and know how to diffuse situations, and be strong enough to keep the real violent ones from killing each other. Also he was trying to become a stand up comedian

holy shit, thank you blood sister

dude I think about that episode of Sunny all the time now lmfao
I feel a lot like you do
>you shouldn't stay with someone who makes you cringe internally, even if you love them in a weird way
hit the nail on the head, I wish nothing but the best for him, but jesus christ that shit was rough. The night I had to call it quits was after I had to watch him do stand up comedy and it was just
I cannot tell you how embarrassing it was, this poor sweet fool

it is a weird, sad, bad feel

No. 170837

>Same also goes for guys with sisters.
Not if they treat them like shit.

No. 170871


could you elaborate on what you mean by had autism/was retarded? i feel like my ex was very similar. in this thread to prevent the derail >>62165

No. 171273

Tbh it's a huge red flag for men to have a female friend group at this point. One thing that I've noticed (especially in "leftist" or "liberal" circles) nobody has done the unlearning of being able to stand up to a man, so they all consistently coddle him, hence why he enjoys all girl groups. Guy friend groups keep guys they hate around for sure, but they slowly exclude them or will tell them to fuck off. Girls just don't do that with men, and I think its why leftist men in girl friend groups are usually so autistic and covertly sexist.

A man having basic decency and typical feminist opinions makes him a messiah, and the group never calls him out on terrible behavior. I've been seeing this pattern everywhere, especially with college groups

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