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File: 1612499926562.png (20.25 KB, 601x512, 4-causes-of-porn-addiction.png)

No. 170405

This thread is for everyone who is struggling with pornography, sexual frustration, and masturbation addiction. Post sources and information or your personal experience on how to quit or lower your usage.

Antiporn thread (por a more serious discussion about pornography): >>>/g/159633

No. 170407

File: 1612500186838.jpg (44.01 KB, 500x410, 1612404562613.jpg)

I'm addicted to hentai and I want to quit. Looking at hentai (and any kind of porn) makes me feel like a degenerate scrote, I fucking hate myself when I do it. Yet I feel like my brain needs some stimulation when I'm horny, and I'm like… horny everyday

No. 170408

posting this, because this video made me open my eyes in a way

No. 170416

Honestly it's been a hard road for me. Its taken years and years. I was always on the "sw isn't woke" train though. I personally was never "addicted" to porn but potentially had far more horny brain than I wanted.

I read a lot of literature. As someone whose in a professional social science field i read journals and studies in my two fields basically to see if I was wrong and if it was possible to xyz ethically or what is the best way to handle abc. From what I deduced even in the nordic system sex trafficking levels skyrocket becauase they can hide under it being legal. So that was a "no".

I basically weaned myself off from real to drawn then my own writing where I could write out ocs with everything I wanted and i didn't fap to it, I just wrote out everything in my brain.

I would likely still read a fanfic though. Im not as critical of drawn shit becauase its fake. Also likely because i like monster girls (see: moth pussy meme) or other shit that doesn't exist irl. Thus an impossible fetish of human girls with insect wings or a lamia or whatever I do not see as possible thus there is no victim in this situation.

To my current knowledge there is no study on "does your brain register drawn porn the same as real porn" because your brain doesn't register videogame violence as irl (see: video games don't cause violence). However, sexual hormones are very compelling. Thus an argument could be made that your brain can be coomerized this way. Annecdotal for me personally things I would read/view I dont like irl (even mundane things). So I think it depends upon your perspective in how you view porn.

Thus I'd ask yourself "what role am I?" (Do i want to do that/have it done to me/am i a vouyer) etc. This makes it easier to deduce how to best self analyze on curing it.

Also analyze your thoughts behind motives on why you like something. For example, I liked hardcore femdom with 0 piv where men were slaves (and this is not always even inherently sexual) because I hate scrotes LOL.

Tl;dr most harm to least harm pipeline. Self reflection

No. 170417

>>170407
Honestly i used the thought that scrotes are inherent coomers who cant be trusted ever and women are superior for being able to be sexually responsible and curb their horny brain as motivation. Scrotes are fetishists of everything. Nothing is off limits no matter the harm. Women are not like that. We are not burdened by the disease of penis and testicles and toxic levels of of testosterone . Use your superiority as a female capable of non coomer motives to change.

No. 171201

Guys I'm new to this topic, but there are some times in the month when I'm craving porn because I feel so horny. Could you guys explain more why is porn a bad thing? Even for us ladies.

No. 171213

>>171201
fuck off scrote

No. 171221

I grew up in a house where one of my parents was so uptight about bodily functions like burping, farting and all that. They were at times so over the top about shaming you for doing either (all while they could openly do it, weird double standard growing up) I think as a consequence of that shame I found weird categories of fetish porn as a teen and found that they got an unexpected reaction out of me. I've always felt alot of shame around that (yay more shame lol) and looking back I wish I hadn't let my pleasure get so intertwined with needing that one fantasy put in front of me.

It's not a fetish I want to indulge in irl. It's not something I would expect to tell a partner about without losing some respect..so it's been kept secretive and indulged in purely through porn. I'm at the point where rather than giving up porn entirely, I would be grateful if I could at least get off to normal categories of porn. That would even be an improvement.

I have sexual abuse in my childhood too which I'ver never linked to this but… in a way it makes sense to get off to something that's technically not even a sex act when the act of sex is something I fear. I hate how much my sexual self is just layers upon layers of shame and fear. It's so far removed from what sex should be.

No. 171236

File: 1612989209440.jpeg (87.34 KB, 453x680, 0199955F-EFF2-4090-8E95-06917F…)

>>171201
Honestly, what kind of porn? I’m not against erotica, but the problem with porn ive noticed (in others and myself) is that it’s so easy to access and requires no work on your part nor communication with another human being, so it can very easily become a total substitution for actual sex and relationships.

I also noticed that I was more interested in exploring unconventional/ taboo (not anything full on disgusting like loli or scat and stuff) which would then get boring and lead to searching for the next level. Like desensitization of my brain I guess?

But again tbh it’s hard to find good male sexual partners so faced with this total mountain of garbage that is men, I think women utilizing more erotica / porn / dojinshi etc is a bit more understandable, assuming it’s not an addiction. Culture and society is saturated with male coom appeal, anyway

bufftrap not related just amusing.

No. 209014

>>170405
Just cured my porn addiction. I'd been addicted since the 2000s. After around 15 years I've been cured.

No. 209023


No. 209150

I keep relapsing every 3-7 months or so and I feel awful and ashamed. Does anyone else have this problem? I haven’t watched porn in a month, if I hadn’t relapsed ever it would be a year and a half

No. 209156

>>209150
I don't, but this caught my eye because I suffer from other unwanted behaviours. Can you identify your triggers? Where are you, how do you feel when you relapse? What can you replace the behaviour with in those moments? Good luck!

No. 215097

I was introduced to porn at an early age but I always felt like using my imagination to get off was ideal so I never formed a reliance on it. I used masturbation as a sleep-aid/anxiety relief for most of my life. Then I started taking hormonal birth control and that killed my perfectly high & healthy sex drive within days. Really struggled to coom without porn after that and that's when my addiction started because I struggled to ween off my natural sleep aid.

That was also the time I learned about how bad the porn industry was so I felt guilty for partaking when I did. I would always go back to using it when my sleeping was really poor and I've had to take a lot of medication in the last few years that gave me bad insomnia.

I think for me the problem was that I wanted to masturbate successfully and I didn't have the imagination to do it as much as I wanted to without pornography. My sex drive never recovered after taking birth control though so I just decided to stop masturbating as much unless I really wanted to because I don't want to watch porn which has worked for me. IDK if it was the birth control though, it could be because I got older (22).

I would have successfully completed no-nut November but I felt like going for it a few days ago so I did. I don't struggle to cum when I'm having sex with someone who knows what they're doing though so maybe this is just normal. I do miss masturbating every night though.

I don't know if this is what people who are currently struggling want to hear though. But if you were like me and you use porn to help you sleep, you need to figure out how to improve your sleep hygiene. COVID made it really difficult for me because it fucked up my circadian rhythm. Regular exercise, adequate sunlight and a good diet with foods that help promote sleep onset helps me. Also I use f.lux because I can't minimize my screentime.

Good luck struggling nonitas.

No. 215113

File: 1638112563066.png (147.4 KB, 500x328, E-QX_s_VIAED1qN.png)

i have a bit of a weird relationship with porn and i don't mean to put out TMI but im just looking for advice
i save a lot of (drawn) porn of media i have a special interest in. sometimes i go out of my way to browse through content of that specific thing. but i dont use it, it doesnt arouse me most of the time looking at it, and i don't even masturbate at all. my best guess is its some sort of weird compulsion coming from autism but idk. i'm a virgin and i don't think i'd have issues with arousal in a real life situation, but i know what i do is really unusual. so what i want to ask is, is this a porn addiction? do the usual downsides of one even apply in this case? i don't know if it's even unhealthy.

No. 215134

>>215113
I'd like to know too since I used to have a vaguely similar issue

No. 215149

>>215113
I am only interested in drawn/written porn of media I have a current special interest in. Nothing else does it for me. In my case I actually do use it as porn. IDK if I'd be able to get aroused in a real life scenario, I never have when it came up in the past but there were other factors that could have contributed. I'm trying and failing so far to cut back on it. I've spent this whole weekend reading fanfiction instead of being productive and I feel like garbage.

No. 215178

>>215134
what changed? and do you think it was harmful to your sexuality, in retrospect?

No. 215182

>>215178
the changes are a specific situation that would deanon me so i'll skip on it, but it was harmful for my sexuality since the "addiction" was linked to being exposed to rule 34 at a young age and i started obsessively seeking more out. one aspect was the "moral" aspect, i became anti-porn as an adult, blah blah we know the politics behind that, and i technically wouldn't consider drawings to be as bad as real porn, i do support artistic freedom but a part of me got angry at how some artists openly post porn of shit like pokemon, sailor moon, dbz, etc out on the open where anyone can see. i saw rule 34 accidentally, i didn't seek it out initially. the whole concept of rule 34 creeps me out now too, because i don't mind seeing suggestive art of certain attractive adult characters (lmao) it borders on entitled to see artists literally race each other to be the "first" to draw porn of something, especially from a family friendly IP like sonic or pokemon. like i said, i know it's drawings and people will draw what they want and i don't hate some of it but i wish they would try harder to restrict it so only adults into that stuff can find it

No. 215183

>>215113
nah it doesnt seem to affect your life negatively. i used to collect porn of my fave characters. also not to masturbate to, just to have to look at, idk?

No. 215188

>>215113
Don't know if that's the common experience and how helpful this is for your situation, but I noticed that when I started to read erotica for the literal plot I couldn't really get off by myself afterwards without reading anything, even though before it was imagination-only for me. So I guess even stuff like that can desensitize you, which for me personally is annoying af, so I'm trying to wane off of it again to get back to how it was before.

No. 215197

>>215183
thats exactly what i do so its reassuring to see someone else share the same experience. thanks!
>>215182
>>215188
these are also true. i feel it can really stunt the sexuality of still-developing people who consume that sort of content regularly.

No. 215206

>>215197
exactly, i'm not completely against drawn/written/animated porn (it's a case-by-case basis but i think self-expression is a good thing in general) but i think over-indulgence and early exposure is just as harmful as getting addicted to the real thing. i only recently started slowly recovering from the effects, but it feels too late now, especially when i had experiences in fandoms that led to grooming and being encouraged to look at this stuff more

No. 217521

Ugh. I stopped watching any kind of visual porn about 6 months ago.
But what should I do if I keep fantasizing about fucked up shit? I can't come unless I do. At one point I went weeks unable to come, trying for a couple hours at night, until I got bored/ cried/ or fell asleep.
During all these months I tried reading erotica ONCE and somehow ended up reading some fucked up shit, so no more written porn for me.
The worst part is that I didn't even start watching porn at a young age. The very first time I ever watched a porn video was at 17 or 18. But I quickly fell into watching increasingly fucked up shit, and now my brain is wrecked.
On top of that, since I grew up in an extremely religious family and I was taught that sex is wrong, I became weirdly detached from sex altogether. And as I watched more and more harmful porn, I became more and more detached to cope with what I was seeing and getting off to.
So when I finally moved away from my household and started having a sexual life, I discovered I had vaginismus. My vaginismus has gotten a lot better but I still feel very detached from sex, and that prevents me from getting into the moment and from enjoying irl sex.
I'm in a relationship with a man I crushed on for years. He does anything I ask for. But I can only come when I imagine some random detached fucked up fantasy that doesn't involve neither of us.
Is it even possible to detox from all that shit? How long does it take? Is my brain too far gone?

No. 217531

>>217521
You say your partner does whatever you ask, so what do you ask him to do? Is it all just about trying different positions or have you done other stuff? I'm not asking in a voyeuristic way, it just comes across to me like you're trying to overcome a disconnect from sex by imagining a "normal" sex scenario rather than exploring intimacy in general. And your idea of what sex is consists of visual/fucked up scenario → orgasm. Stop thinking it has to end in orgasm. I'm willing to bet the orgasm doesn't even feel very satisfying due to the guilt and disgust you feel at the lead up. Try to determine what you like outside of penis in vagina. Do you like when your bf massages you? Making out? Oral on you? Watching him masturbate? Are you able to relax while he plays with you and actually focus on how it feels versus frantically trying to think of something fucked up? Just slow it down. Yeah, you probably won't orgasm every time you try one of these things but that's not the point, the point is getting comfortable with being intimate and undoing the "sex = bad" teachings you grew up with. Some part of you probably feels sex has to be weird and degenerate because that's essentially what you were told as a kid, when in fact it can be loving and sweet and still really hot. Don't be afraid to have fun with it, because that's something it really seems your sex life lacks right now.

Also, do you have any toys that work for you? I don't know about you but using my hand or having to position myself just so on a partner can be tiring, where just holding a good vibe on my clit is almost always a guaranteed orgasm even when I start out not feeling like I'm in the mood. That can help give relief and ease the overall pressure as well.

No. 219516

Not really about porn addiction but still related. I've been actively stopping myself from fantasizing about fucked up scenarios and my libido is gone. I got memed into the whole cope-with-trauma-through-bdsm and I really want to rewire my brain into being normal. It began when I was in middle school so I knew fixing it will be hard but I didn't expect to just never feel horny. Is this just a part of the process?

No. 219524

I have a deep set fetish that I'm forever half assedly trying to move away from. The moment I get horny that plan goes out the window. But lately I have both a new irl crush and a new celeb crush. I'm fickle so I'm aware my crushes have an expiry date. I'm trying to use my excitement over these guys to wean myself off the gross kink stuff. This is an opportunity to rewire my brain into recognizing sex.. as sex again lol

The hardest part is just not letting myself mix the kink in with the thoughts of either guy… trying to purely think of normal sex acts with them and nothing else. I might be getting somewhere. I've dreamt of bjs lately. I'm in my 30s and I've never had a normal sex dream about piv or just giving some head. Now I've had multiple in the last few weeks. Goes to show that what you 'let yourself' fantasize about does get deep rooted after just a short period of time.

I spent 3 years living with a guy, having sex, giving alot of oral, no dead bedroom or anything but I had a whole seperate time when I got myself off to my weird kink in private and that was my source of satisfaction. I satisfied him and the sex was ok but my orgasm was tied to porn and in no way tied to him. I never faked orgasms and my partner never found it odd that I just never had them with him? He never said anything in 3 years of no orgasms. It's weird to look back on. I was going through the motions with him in a way. I initiated sex all the fucking time but I knew I was moreso just performing a duty. I never dreamt about the oral I gave him right before bed. It never followed over like that. Now I fantasize about doing that with my crush and later that night it makes it into a dream too. So this is what it's like to actually engage with normal sex acts as if they're satisfying to me too… and not only a performance to look normal in front of a guy. hmm

My head is more fucked up than I ever realized, but I'm slowly getting somewhere.

No. 219526

>>219516
I stopped watching porn 2 years ago and my libido never recovered. I am finally starting to address it by trying to reconnect with my body with meditation and yoga, and I am starting to get horny again, little by little. I expected that stopping porn was enough but the issue is much more deeply rooted for me, it really conditionned me to dissociate sex with physical sensations.

No. 219975

one of my new year's resolutions is to stop all porn consumption. I hardly watch any, it's a couple of times a month kind of thing but I always feel bad after, sometimes even during. I got into using so called 'female friendly' sites with specially curated videos that involved no abusive looking material or anything too 'heavy' like bdsm or whatever. I'd watch arty massage videos and lesbian only to help ease my conscious. I would think 'well at least this porn isn't likely to involve abuse' but in reality I had no way of knowing that. I would also feel dreadful about myself after watching, comparing my body to the women in the videos. I started watching the kind with more normal/average girls with body hair and the like, who looked more like me, but again, it made me feel guilty since it's still porn. I've read enough criticisms of the porn industry and agree in its inherent exploitive nature and damage it has on society, I feel like a hypocrite every time I watch.

I'm going to install an addon to block the sites and keep reminding myself to stop being such a hypocrite.

No. 220610

>>219975
sage for what's probably shit advice but this is why i exclusively turned to "fictional" (drawn/written/etc) porn for a long time. it's still unhealthy on an individual level (in my opinion) but after being educated about and more critical of porn, i felt 90% less guilty and almost thankful that the worst i ever watched was hentai and therefore doesn't involve real people being hurt. i have issues involving sexual anhedonia so porn isn't something i seek out for libido/pleasure reasons (it's just a very bad behavioral habit) but i've considered learning human anatomy better and drawing my own in private as some kind of outlet

No. 237853

File: 1645231665016.jpeg (32.5 KB, 640x484, d2d.jpeg)

How can I remove all the disgusting things I've seen on pornography sites from my memories? Sometimes the most degenerate things come back to haunt me and I can't stand it.

No. 241913

How do I stop fantasizing about porn? I hate thinking of old videos to get off and like I feel guilty because I question myself like what if the girls in those videos regret doing that and if they were possibly groomed? And I just hate being desensitized. I just want to get off to my simple little fantasies

No. 242189

>>241913
destroy your pc, take a year long journey into the Mojave desert. Godspeed nonnie

No. 242277

does audio porn count?

No. 242443

>>237853
I don’t know nonnie i have the same issue, but it helps to know youre not the only one who was subjected to it

No. 242469

>>242277
The way I view it is like this, from most damaging to least damaging ignoring the content of course:
>Videos
>Gifs
>Still pictures
>Audio
>Written
The content will make it more or less disgusting, but I honestly think that having visuals makes stuff more addictive and damaging than it just being the voice of some ugly ass moid.
It’s like, when I look at hot people having sex, I want to be there and be a degenerate, but when I listen to sex sounds, I can’t help but think that it’s some ugly moid beating his dick and whispering nasty shit on a microphone in the dark of his mom’s basement. And sometimes I also can’t help but think that it’s someone sticking a finger in a jar of hair gel and doing random moaning sounds just to get over with it.
When it’s written it all depends on your imagination and you can just stop it whenever you want, you can control it and if you don’t like where is it going, you can just rewrite it yourself in your mind.

No. 242484

>>237853
gradually start reading vanilla erotica and vanilla porn(have it pre-downloaded) over the course of some months
go from periods of no porn usage to vanilla porn, eventually your brain rot will be healed

No. 242535

>>242443
>>242484
Ayrt, I saw something screwed up while browsing porn a few days before posting that. Nothing illegal but just highly degenerate. I felt sick and closed everything immediately and haven't felt the urge to watch anything since. But still what I saw keeps popping into my head and scaring me. Maybe this spook has cured the addiction but if I get the urge again I'll do the vanilla thing.

No. 242550

>>242535
That's how I fixed myself(believe me, I was into really fucked up and violent porn cause I had my own issues) and even when I tried quitting porn, It never worked long term
by replacing my urges with Vanilla Porn, I fixed myself

I'd go from periods of not watching porn at all(3 days) then mastrubate to my pre-downloaded vanilla porn once a day for 5 days total, then I'd stop watching for 9 days and repeated the same schedule with 5 days, even when I'd fail, I would still always use the vanilla porn
eventually 9 goes to 12, then to 15, to 20, then to 30, then 40 and finally after 45 I was finally healed

No. 244484

I've once again fixed my desire for external stimulation but that means I think a lot about an ex I'm struggling to get over and my mind sometimes wants to ruin everything. Found out about something very obvious that may be helpful to more nonas: using both of your hands makes it easier to not have intrusive thoughts because you focus more on what you are doing.

No. 245291

I hope it's not too off topic as I don't consider myself an addict but I think I've stunted my sexual attraction by only masturbating to hentai doujinshis. I started late (at 19 or so) and I only do it like 5 times or less a month, so it's not like I'm off the deep end, but I tend to get off to mildly degen shit (mostly dub/non-con), and I genuinely have no desire to have sex with another person. It might be because I got zero attention as a teenager and it fucked my perceptions of relationships and I turned to escapism. I'm content with this situation but I know most people will consider it alarming, so I wanted your opinion on that.

No. 245298

>>242550
>pre-downloaded
I don't want to have porn downloaded on my phone but I think this may be necessary. I go through long periods of not watching porn for weeks, but whenever I get the urge to watch porn in a moment of weakness seeing all the degenerate stuff when I'm searching for vanilla is way too tempting. I've been trying to fully kick the habit for years but I have noticed my sexuality slowly reverting back to normal so I'm not giving up.

No. 245300

>>245298
I have it pre-downloaded stuff on my laptop, keeping it on a phone might be risky, also some Vanilla written erotica or audio will also have a positive impact on you

No. 245473

I've been clean from porn for the most part since New Years. Fell once or twice with some vanilla art, but otherwise been doing good. Unfollowed everyone who posted nsfw online, and stopped going to porn sites.

About a year ago I was in really deep. I spent all day browsing and at one point I was paying about $90 a month on patreon subbed to nsfw artists. It completely distorted my views of reality and I became destructively sexual around my partner and honestly a bit manic IMO.

But, I have two friends who consume porn often. In the past, at my worst, one of them I barely even spoke to and all we did all day was exchange nsfw of characters we liked. She was also fond of sending extremely violent and graphic nsfw art. I need to stop associating with these two but I don't know how. They don't understand why im quitting and think im just being some "Puritan Christian". They become aggressive and insist im insulting them when I ask them not to send me porn.

I know I just need to cut them off but im scared about them talking about me badly behind my back, to other friends and community members. How can I get past this, nonnies? How do you deal with people making fun of you for choosing to not engage with nsfw content anymore…

No. 245536

I have so many confusing feelings and impulses. I’m so addicted to porn and masturbating. I have been sexually abused pretty badly in the past and I feel like I constantly think about sex now and porn/masturbating is the only way I can free myself of these disturbing thoughts. I’m also a girl and I’ve always had this mentality that it’s weird for girls to be horny especially when I have the sex drive of a porn sick scrote.

No. 245552

>>245291
I think this fucked me up too, but with BL doujinshi and fanfic. I can have sex with my partner but it’s not pleasurable and I don’t seek it out on my own.

No. 261087

The fucking stupid antifujo sperg literally copied and pasted this thread's OP and made a dumb thread on /ot/ kek. What an idiot.
Anyways, this is a good thread.

No. 261419

Is watching yaoi better than irl porn?

No. 261424

>>261419
It is because no real person gets hurt but any addiction is bad, careful not to ruin your life for it.

No. 261544

>>261419
yes, because it's not real, but make sure you don't overindulge to the point it becomes identical to an actual porn addiction and be critical of content with toxic tropes

No. 261773

>>261544
Send me good yaoi

No. 264784

File: 1652874157010.jpeg (90.27 KB, 828x1600, 575D1D62-A328-4643-BEEB-3402FD…)

I'm trying to cure my addiction so I downloaded this app, took a quiz and this is the result I got. Jeez, I had no idea it was that bad but I'm not surprised TBH

No. 264789

>>264784
what app?

No. 264791

>>264789
Brainbuddy but don't even bother if you aren't willing to pay, I had to uninstall it right after I made that post because of this. Guess I'm going to stay being a coomer.

No. 272857

Bumping this thread for help. I don't want to fix with vanilla porn I just want to quit. I'm addicted to disgusting degen shit and I don't know what to do to fix it. I always relapse.

No. 272860

Please someone recommend some good sexy online books lesbian ones and not deku fan fiction I get so bored of it and I just eventually click on porn

No. 272876

Am I the only one who feels like this thread is 90% scrotes?

No. 272880

>>272857
Don't know how helpful it'd be, but can't you install some site blocker and set the needed password to some keysmashing?

No. 272881

>>272876
I don't know about 90% but the request for "some sexy lesbian stuff" might be.

Just have to ignore it at this point and never speak to them.

No. 272886

>>272881
I just feel like porn-addiction is something that mostly affects men, I don't see how women could get addicted to it. We already know a lot of trannies hate-read this section after they found it through the mtf thread and of course they would be drawn to a board called "girl-talk". Also trannies are all porn addicts.

No. 272893

>>272886
NTA but I’ve dated Porn addicted Bi girls as a women. They definitely exist and can be very moid light about it

No. 272904

>>272886
While men are the biggest coomers for obvious reasons, women can be affected by porn culture and be pornsick too. I'm glad anons itt are doing something about it.

No. 272909

>>272886
I had porn addiction that started as a teen, just like men I couldn't get off without it. But as a woman it was due to internalized misogyny and low self-esteem, seeing how horrifically women in porn are treated and how soulless the sex is.

No. 272911

File: 1656691641235.jpeg (88.57 KB, 750x449, 4B5C0343-3595-4D3F-952E-DFB134…)


No. 272916

>>272886
porn addiction is observable in the brain and psyche. women can absolutely become addicted, as humans with brains and psyches.

maybe they don't act like male coomers, but female coomers definitely exist.

No. 272929

>>272916
I was just always told womens arousal is less visual based than men's and more emotional based. It's definitely true for me, I don't understand how anyone can get off to porn since it's so superficial and focuses only on the pleasure of the man, it really is made for men, by men without women in mind. Why would I flick my bean to some whore faking an orgasm as she gets violated by a gross moid who probably has AIDS? I just don't get how any woman can find it appealing at all. I guess you got to be really fucked in the head, probably even more than moids who are coomers since to them it kind of comes natural and is catered to them.

No. 272931

>>272929
But that is just you nonna. Not everyone is like you. Sure men are more visual in general, but it's not a hard line between sexes. It's more like two overlapping clusters, where some women are more inclined to watch porn than the males that are least likely to. Do you get what I mean? My point is that not every woman has the exact same qualities as you do, we are not robots made in a factory.

No. 272938

>>272931
There is a huge difference between how men and women function and how our brains are wired, denying this honestly just makes me think that you're just a tranny if you're addicted to porn more.

No. 272940

>>272929
>I was just always told womens arousal is less visual based than men's and more emotional based. It's definitely true for me
Women are individuals and can also be very visual. I'm very visual and used to watch porn in the past - I avoid it now though.
>>272938
This is not a helpful comment at all. Like it or not, there are women out there watching porn and they should be encouraged in their struggle to quit.

No. 272942

>>272938
Nta, stop trying to start an infight. Anon replied to you calmly and respectfully and now you're accusing her of being a troon. Chill. Yes there are female coomers, if you've spent any amount of time at all in /g/ then you've experienced them firsthand. Like >>272909 said many of us got into porn as teens because it's hugely normalized in society and you're not normal/a coolgirl unless you watch it. Do that enough and you condition your body and mind to get off to it until you work to undo that conditioning. End of story. If you think someone in this thread is a scrote report and move on.

No. 272952

>>272942
Speaking as a female coomer it almost always comes from being terminally online. I knew and know many other coomer girls and they were always the type to be terminally online. Never met a "normal" woman like this. It's less common but doesn't make us male or a troon. I actually did struggle with gender dysphoria and one of the things that had some weight for me were my pornsickness and this kind of view that only men can be get to this level of perversion and coomerism

No. 272958

>>272929
Men being more visual is a lie. You literally look at people and think they’re hot, that is being turned on. Men say that because they don’t wanna out effort into their appearance and think they deserve sex for just existing while we have pressure to shave, workout, get plastic surgery. All of these things reinforced by pornography I started watching porn as a teenager, while my mind was still developing. I’m so confused sexually now. And I can’t orgasm without my mind flashing back to some porn scenes ingrained in my memory. I’ve internalized some of the things growing up and I thought choking and slapping was normal so I let my boyfriends do that to me. I shudder when I think about it. I almost tried anal but thank god that man who I attempted it with was an actual retard Virgin who thought my vagina was really my asshole, and I didn’t tell him otherwise.

No. 272960

>>272952
Adding to this, porn is really easy to access, anyone with a phone can watch it.

No. 272961

>>272942
Many coomers being on /g/ doesn't make them women. I mean you have to be pretty naive to think only women post on here.

No. 272968

File: 1656712773475.png (156.24 KB, 800x580, D177BE51-24A3-4AE6-B384-9A3773…)

>>272929
>Why would I flick my bean to some whore faking an orgasm as she gets violated by a gross moid who probably has AIDS? I just don't get how any woman can find it appealing at all.
Most popular porn category for women is "lesbian" porn. Most women don't want to watch gross men either.

No. 272970

>>272968
Sorry I'm dying at the thought of that one little country (Uzbekistan?) being obsessed with milfs kek

No. 272976

>>272968
Why are MENA women so into anal? Why do African and East Asian and South Asian women just search their own respective races? How can they even be sure those watchers even are women?

No. 272977

>>272970
And it's a category by women… so women into MILF's. The women watching those videos probably are milfs

No. 272981

>>272976
>How can they even be sure those watchers even are women?
probably by the profiles that are created for each of us while browsing nearly anywhere on the internet

No. 272982

>>272958
>You literally look at people and think they’re hot
NTA but I don't. It takes a long time for me to actually be turned on by someone or find someone attractive, just looking at them doesn't work.

No. 272983

>>272981
Not me, I use incognito mode whenever possible. Fuck your cookies.

No. 272986

>>272968
>ebony porn being the most popular in North Korea
KEK WHAT?

No. 272988

>>272952
Coomers are created from porn + lack of access to actual sex. "Normal" women probably have the greatest access to irl sex, so are least likely to replace intimacy with porn.

No. 272990

>>272981
wdym by profiles, accounts? if it's from cookies how do they tell someone's sex from that

No. 273007

>>272968
samefag here's a link to the article. https://www.pornhub.com/insights/women-of-the-world

>>272990
Other people asked this online, probably Google Analytics and advertising profiles.

No. 273029

>>272968
I assume those statistics come from porn profiles where you chose if you are male or female upon signing up. I also assume that out of those who sign up porn accounts and chose "woman" maybe 1% were not born with a penis. You moron.

No. 273030

>>272958
>Men being more visual is a lie. You literally look at people and think they’re hot, that is being turned on.
kek, trannies really have zero understanding of female sexuality, that's how you always tell on yourselves.

No. 273036

>>273030
Fucking stop it, you sound like those ugly moids who can't accept that there are women out there who are visual and into sexy people.

No. 273037

>>273036
Yeah according to some there are even women with penises.

No. 273039

>>273037
Please explain what are TRUE AND HONEST women supposed to be aroused by since you're such an expert on every single woman ever. Maybe you are indeed correct and I do need to get the tit chop and arm sausage so my outsides match my insides.

No. 273057

>>273039
Individually different of course, but if your sexuality is truly like a moids and you see a big dong and go "unga bunga, me want sex right now" and immediately wet your panties and you can't orgasm unless you watch women being raped, drugged and abused by gorillas on pornhub then yeah, maybe you do have a male brain.

No. 273118

>>273057

You have got to be some kind of retard.

Firstly: Have you ever heard of sex without a penis? Some people don't like those, idiot.

You are the one that's just as bad as moids. Just as retarded and just as utterly bullheaded. Just as willing to shit yourself to talk over women telling you something other than what you swear you know. Go shit yourself in another thread.

No. 273119

>>273057
Also, most porn addicted women were abused, groomed or otherwise exposed to it at some point in their lives against their will.

Even those who weren't were exposed due to the ease and normalcy of pornographic materials which is because of the degeneracy of moids in the first place.

God you are such a fuck up.

No. 273122

>>273119
>God you are such a fuck up
projection

No. 273330

Moving on.

https://medium.com/@kittyit/taking-back-your-mind-a-radical-feminist-approach-to-recovering-from-porn-use-8ae9347c3d8f

Good article about porn addiction and recovery tips from a radfem perspective.

No. 273462

I was exposed to porn when I was 8. I didn't really understand it growing up.

I thankfully didn't watch a lot of porn in my teen years, it was like once a month thing and happened during my periods (but not every period). Once I learned how bad the porn industry was for women and found swerfs I cut it out.

However, I find myself reading hentai manga aimed towards women nowadays. Its hard for me to cut it off.. I honestly have never successfully masturbated in my life, I like to read these stories and then fantasize in my head. But I don't think I've ever made myself came or anything. I just get tired and fall asleep. I am too scared to have sex with boyfriends and have remained a virgin so I don't really know much about sex at all.

I am worried my sexuality is being warped becaude some of these stories include rape or manipulation, but its more subtle I guess instead of hentai for men where its just brutal. Regardless even if its written for women by women that doesn't mean its always healthy. I feel like my brain was already fried being exposed to hardcore porn at 8 and being molested as a child. I don't want to find these stories hot.

I am just glad I no longer watch real life porn and no one is being hurt in these fictional stories but I know my sexuality isn't healthy.

No. 274681

I was doing real good at the beginning of this year but then I relapsed and struggled since. I hate myself every time I use porn to masturbate. It may be 2D only now, but it still brain damaging and supports the industry via ads when it's on a hosting site. I also suffer from early porn exposure. When I look back at my childhood, I can practically see the correlation between I was first shown porn and negative changes in my behavior around that time that shaped my personality. Anyway, starting this week, I'm cutting myself cold turkey for masturbating then I will try to condition myself with fic or my imagination.

No. 278225

Another early porn exposure anon here, I'm also a survivor of CSA. After I got raped I started viewing rape hentai, but then I found audio porn and started consuming it. When I got into my older teens I started viewing video porn again. My porn consumption has escalated to quckquean shit, and I always get a wave of shame and disgust after I come. I'm trying to replace the videos I consume to SFM porn, but I still relapse ever so often. I'm doing better than a year ago, thankfully.
Here's a good article or blogpost about fetishes and if they're induced by porn or not, it has some good tips of getting off from porn as well: https://web.archive.org/web/20180824010704/https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/are-fetishes-innate
Here's also general resources and a wall of text how porn addicts you: https://web.archive.org/web/20180824010704/https://www.yourbrainonporn.com/are-fetishes-innate

No. 278313

Porn addicted men ruined my porn addiction. I'm unable to fantasize about sex without getting turned off about the moid comparing me or exaggerating details to tell to other girls

No. 278320

File: 1658966567725.png (1.2 MB, 960x960, 1636483272974.png)

>watching porn on popular normie porn site
>gross "teen" ads surrounding the video i'm watching
>try to ignore them while watching my video
>click one by accident
>jailbait porn with girls who look 16
>try to exit, my porn addicted self is annoyed bc it turned me off
>get automatically redirected to another jailbait site with girls who look even younger, literally 11-13 years old
>feel a huge pit in my stomach because for a second i thought i was looking at actual child porn
>close all tabs and put my phone down

I haven't watched it since then, like 3 weeks ago. I'm done with all of it. This was a super popular normie site. It made me realize that no matter what kind of porn site you might only be 2 or 3 clicks away from actual child porn. Knowing I was so close to it makes me sick. No matter what I watched the surrounding ads would most of the time be ALMOST violence or ALMOST underage actors. Because that's what men really want to watch. Porn with violence and kids.

No. 278401

Has anyone tried blocking the sites?

No. 281691

I've been off hardcore porn with the exception of lesbian porn since the beginning of the year with only one relapse. It's so nice seeing my sexuality go back to normal and not get turned on by weird degenerate shit anymore. Praying that everyone else ITT meets their goals too.

No. 281700

>>281691
All pornography money goes to the same men, the same men who traffic women & rape them. It doesn’t matter if the video itself is tame, sadly.

No. 281701

>>281700
I know all porn is bad, but watching sensual, vanilla porn when you're trying to quit is way more preferable to the degen stuff.

No. 281720


No. 281722

>>281720
For what? Watching vanilla porn is just a stepping stone to quitting altogether.

No. 281723

>>281720
It's a slow process for some people anon. The further she gets from degen shit the closer she gets to being completely porn free.

No. 281849

I was addicted to hard-core porn for tenish years starting when I was way to young. I don't remember how it started but I would play porn games mostly then more into hentai and eventually real people porn. I'm ashamed to say but it was mostly rape porn, more along the lines of "forced to feel good" because I didn't like imagining there being any actual pain. I legitimately couldn't go more than a few days withing masturbating to porn and it went on this way for years. My mental health was bad because I felt so disgusting for looking at such violent stuff and feeling unable to stop, I would have these mental crashes after were I would feel suicidal. I tried to stop and failed so many times. I eventually came across radfem stuff which lead me to anti-porn stuff which really opened my eyes to how fucked up porn is which lead to me finally being able to cut out real person porn for good, right now I'm over 1.5 years clean from it which I know is a pathetic thing to celebrate but I was addicted for so long. Now I'm struggling because I still look at hentai and can't seem to get off without a messed up scenario In my head, my body just doesn't react otherwise. I love the idea of vanilla sex with a partner and I really crave intimacy but right now I'm not in a good space for a relationship and that won't be a fix forever because I'll probably be single again at one point. Basically I'm currently clean of real people porn but I want to see something real and not animated and I don't know how to overcome my fucked up "kinks" that I'm left with. I also don't really have the time to learn what feels good on it's own and take my time with vanilla fantasies because of my roommate.

No. 281868

>>281722
eh, how do you think most men are addicted to hardcore extreme fetish shits now ? they all started w/ vanilla porn. consuming the same type of porn made their weewee not pleased anymore, thats how they ended up watching the most vile shit just to coom more

No. 281869

>>281849
dont be ashamed to celebrate your 1,5y without porn, everyone can celebrate any milestone they archived, good for you that you at least not watch real abuse on camera. as for hentai addiction, maybe reading doujinshi, buy a dakimakura or buying vibrators/other sextoys could calm your sexual urges. tbh i consider those stuffs more "soft" than actual porn or hentai

No. 281872

>>272976
nonna living in MENA here, hymen is sacred there since its a tradition in islam to preserve your hymen until you get married. ofc if a woman wants to have sex before marriage, she only has the options to do anal/oral. also in some cultures, to be sure that the woman didnt had penetrative sex before marriage, her female family members give her a white bedsheet that she must put on the bed where she will have her first sexual intercourse with the man she married, if the white bedsheet had blood stains, it means that she's a virgin pure and she gets celebrated for it by her family members, truly disgusting

No. 281931

>>281869
Thank you anon. I do have a vibe, I'm thinking of getting a waterproof one I can use in the bath in private routinely. I find putting off masturbating makes me more likely to seek out porn.

No. 283246

File: 1661275718112.jpeg (47.92 KB, 800x450, image.jpeg)

It's heartbreaking to see how CSA survivors tend to resort to porn to cope. I am also one, and even though I didn't know what had happened to me when it did at 6 years old, when I got my first exposure at my friend's house at 8 I latched onto it as my coping mechanism. I def did watch a lot of REALLY fucked up shit first, probably a way for my brain to cope, then moved onto vanilla stuff then eventually very rarely consumed it. Basically a reverse of how most people get exposed to vanilla stuff then look for more degenerate/deviant stuff.

I've quit all forms of video porn completely in 2020, especially after seeing the statistics of child trafficking and how fucking awful the industry is towards women & how it gives so many people brain damage (by then I was consuming porn once every 4-5 months). The biggest motivator though is how many moids nowadays are completely brainrot, and I never want to become like them.

I do occasionally relapse through nsfw yumejo art / nsfw audio, mostly right before my period, but I plan to quit those slowly and only rely on my imagination. I'm sick of being this way, but it doesn't help that I'm not attracted to irl moids due to how disgusting they are.

No. 283252

Can anyone recommend good anti-porn literature? Something discussing the negative effects with backing evidence. Also preferably not alarmist shit like "it turns your brain to mush."

No. 283255

I've csa in my past, it turned me into this nervous hermit type once I hit puberty and realised what had happened to me. But then it also made me 'hypersexual' so.. I was a hypersexual hermit. I turned to porn. It went on for years with this awareness somewhere in the back of my mind that I didn't like the habit. I managed to have irl relationships later but I kind of zone out during sex and don't fully enjoy it. I was having 'meh' sex and still watching porn in private.

Last year I started crushing on a celebrity. I started getting off to him just by fantasising or watching his performances. Only lately I went to watch porn on impulse and it all repulsed me. I've a long way to go when it comes to sorting through my irl sex issues (single atm) but I'm hoping I've broken the porn habit at least.

In a way I feel childish at my age having this intense crush on a singer but its nice to be back to basics, tame fantasies centering around one person I like. Not rando cocks going into holes on a screen.

No. 283257

>>283246
I understand this. I didn’t used to have the issue until an extremely fucked up psychosis and I’m really grossed out by it now. I think the most disturbing part is that we, particularly CSA, use it as some form of self harm really and men are convinced we want that or something.

No. 283280

>>283246
Yeah, it's so common. I never looked at live action porn because it scared me, but I had terrible issues with obsessively collecting drawings (which I don't think is inherently wrong, but it can serve as an equally toxic replacement for some), hentai, comics drawn by scrotes, and being in very hypersexual communities. Ironically, I was abused multiple times as a little kid, but getting assaulted as a teenager was what made me refuge into degenerate roleplay spaces as a coping mechanism. Then Tumblr came along with its rhetoric that these things are healthy, empowering, and valid coping. I was diagnosed with a hypersexual disorder shortly after I cut off all contact from those spaces and the "friends" I met in them, but I ironically have no sex drive (never did as a result of the abuse), so I have to fight myself from coming back to those spaces because they feel "safer" than having actual sex that I won't be aroused by anyway…

No. 283566

>>272929
nonny i knew a girl IRL who would mostly get off to fucked up visuals like hardcore bdsm done on both men and women, i'm talking dicks being penetrated by sounding rods, girls being abused in disgusting ways in cnc porn scenarios and all sorts of graphic shit in general. and i don't see where the emotion based part would be in all of this. girls definitely can get addicted to porn that way. but i agree that it's a lot more common in men

No. 283612

>>283566
When it came to sexuality I was always more interested in visuals, but a lot of porn is just so in-your-face and grotesque about sex. But a lot if girls I knew who were addicted to porn were into hardcore stuff like that, or for fiction it was things that would be illegal IRL like guro/shota/loli/etc. I know for men, they usually start out with normal stuff and jump into farther extremes when they're bored with it, but a lot of girls watched hardcore from the get-go, I wonder why.

No. 283614

>>272929
>Why would I flick my bean to some whore faking an orgasm as she gets violated by a gross moid who probably has AIDS? I just don't get how any woman can find it appealing at all.
You basically meme yourself into finding it arousing, and it's really easy to learn to like it when you're young and are exposed to porn without context, thinking that you're also supposed to find it hot, particularly if you're going through puberty and trying to explore your sexuality.
If women can get weird fetishes like inflation or whatever, things that are unnatural, it makes sense that women can also learn to get off to porn for males. Ever heard of Pavlov's dog? In this case, you start to associate imagery of naked women being sexually abused (a normally traumatic image) with arousal. Even if you think it's not "natural" or possible for women to get off to images (what?) it's definitely possible to increase the effect of visual stimuli under the right conditions, and that often happens in childhood or adolescence, when your brain is still developing and very sensitive to this kind of stimuli. As for why female porn addicts find it hot instead of repulsive or traumatic, they project onto the woman and basically develop autogynephilia and get off to their own image of being a sexy woman being used by scrotes, due to conditioning by society and the porn they're watching which is entirely focused on the woman. That's definitely not natural, you could even call it a form of trauma, but it does happen.

Also "women's arousal is less visual based" is not the same as "women don't use images to masturbate at all", it just means that women rely less on images to get off on average, meaning that there's still a lot of women who prefer images to get off although most women don't; and also there's some women who are porn addicted although the vast majority of women aren't. Just because male and female brains function a little differently doesn't mean that they're not capable of the same things, such as addiction and fetishes, even if certain things are more common in one sex than the other.

No. 283619

>>283614
I forgot to say, as a child, adults always told me that porn was "for grown-ups", and that's the idea that the average person has of porn but they never tell you that it's actually FOR MISOGYNISTIC MEN, not just any adult. As always, male is the default in society and women are indirectly told to like whatever males like. That's how you get so many girls and women finding pornography for moids normal and even consuming it. The porn and human trafficking industries benefit from people believing that watching porn is totally fine and that it's "for adults" just like alcohol.

No. 283623

>>283614
and of course "women's arousal is less visual" has also been used by males as an excuse to not give a shit about their appearance because "women don't care anyway"

No. 283638

>>272886
>>272876
I think it's good you were smart enough to not get groomed by the culture into porn/hentai nonny.

I relate to posts here and there. Low self esteem, got bullied, wasn't sociable/pretty like the other girls. There was this vibe of wanting to be in the know especially because I'm born in a very conservative family and I hated being looked down by my friends/classmates who "knew more than me" when it comes to porn. Hentai was my first exposure though, it was a kids IP bc I was curious what doujins are like.

For the longest time I had very different fantasies when I just write out my own erotica (tame, tender vanilla stuff) vs when I get off by my clit (moid writing degen shit). And only recently I managed to tackle it esp after peaking and reading stuff about radfem.
I still feel weird urges to get off (which i never do) whenever I hear something traumatic happening IRL and it disgusts me so much.

No. 283647

>>170407
There's actually tons of female hentai artists.
Hentai is also more humane than real porn, because it's works of literature rather than human trafficking.

No. 283650

>>283647
But it can also contain questionable depictions of sex, which leads to people being aroused to children, rape, or other abusive sexual dynamics. It's still an awful stimulant and I don't see how hentai being "works of literature" makes it any better.

No. 283651

>>283647
I agree, since a drawing will never be as bad as real women being abused, by a lot of hardcore H-games and animated hentai kind of pushes the limit IMO. I'm pro-sexual art in theory because it's more creative, but in practice a lot of it feels like the diet soda version of actual porn. It just depends on what kind. I've seen female-focused art that's pretty nice but the average fanart I see for most anime is replicates actual porn but with the characters.

>>283650
lmao, you said it before me. I think we need to draw lines in the sand of what kind is okay. "Hentai is good because it isn't real" is too broad of a statement because it lumps in things that arguably aren't okay like shota/loli/rape/etc. into it.

No. 283655

>>283647
It is more humane since it doesn't involve real people, but that doesn't stop it from being misogynistic as fuck. Any hentai that doesn't have misogynistic themes/objectifies women or children is fine though.

No. 283671


No. 284858

File: 1662080416209.jpg (Spoiler Image,203.53 KB, 1350x900, 91778.jpg)

This game ruined my fucking brain and I hate that I ever found it

No. 284873

One big reason for me to quit is that if you watch porn there’s a lot to hide about your habit like clearing history, hiding files, avoid getting caught etc. but if you don’t watch it then there’s nothing to stress about. In 2020 in my zoom uni class I almost shared porn on the screen because I had to play a video and in the video player playlist I accidentally left a porn video. One of the cringiest moments of my life and I don’t want that type of stress again.

No. 284881

File: 1662100723627.jpg (141.51 KB, 736x734, hehe.jpg)

I developed a porn addiction from a pretty young age. And I think I was always pretty vulnerable to that. Since I can remember, I was a child that was way interested in sex to what would be a concerning degree, but if I ever was abused, I don't remember it so I try not to think too hard about it. But I think that, alongside my parents never limiting my internet usage, made it really easy for me to start watching porn when it was introduced to me.

I would compulsively watch porn and masturbate for years. When I was stressed or anxious about something, I would do it. When I was happy, I would do it. It really didn't matter the occassion. I was always thinking about doing it. And I would do it until it hurt. Thinking about it makes me want to cry.

I hate talking about this because I usually only hear porn addicted scrotes talk about it, but it's really true that at some point normal porn just doesn't do anything for you. This started happening soon after I hit puberty. It's also when I started preferring hentai so the fetishes I had at 14 years old were so degen that when I wasn't actively watching porn/masturbating I was crying, feeling so much shame and disgust about the intrusive thoughts this gave me. I was learning more about the reality of the porn industry too, and getting radicalized on top of being addicted just totally broke my brain.

This went on up until I was around 18 or 19 or so. I think I realized it was really a problem when I was at work one day, and I was waiting for my ride to pick me up after my shift. So I was just scrolling on my phone in the lobby when I had the sudden urge to look at porn. This is what it came to. I would watch degrading porn as a form of entertainment, not even to masturbate to, but just to watch. And I started doing it in public. The only thing that broke me out of my trance as I was going to find a video was the realization that I was at work, in a government building, with a camera behind me capturing my phone screen. Not just a fireable offense, but a criminal offense, something that will put me on a registry. I was about to just turn into a complete sex pest with a record in the span of a few seconds and I caught myself by the skin of my teeth.

It was something that I laughed at initially, but something that has shook me to my core since. It was after that that I started thinking really hard, not just about how ethical watching porn is, but how it's impacted my mental health. I realized that I don't even get turned on from regular porn anymore. I barely got turned on from fetish porn. It was that instance at my job along with the fact I realized I may have also stumbled on some illegal shit online a few times over the course of my life that cemented the idea that I'm really just better off never seeking that shit out again.

Masturbation was a different story for me. Even after I stopped watching porn, I was still a compulsive masturbator. I got a remote job at some point and that really made things a million times worse on that front. It got to a point where every time after I masturbated, I would cry. I would have these full body panic attacks where I would just be curled in a ball in my bed or on the floor and I couldn't feel anything besides this intense disgust for my own brain, because the thoughts that I would have while I masturbated progressively became so vile I couldn't process it.

It's something that I considered suicide over for a time. I just felt like a broken person. For a lot of my adolescence I didn't think I was a girl. I wanted to be anything besides a girl for such a long time. Coming into womanhood with that feeling, with it fading after quitting porn, and then retraumatizing myself every time I masturbated because I was having those intrusive thoughts that came from the porn. The only way I could break that cycle once and for all was by never masturbating again.

I'm 7 months and 6 days sober from masturbating today and every day I feel my conscience getting clearer. I feel a bit of my brain heal. A bit of my heart. A bit of my childhood that I lost regained. The innocence I was meant to have but was never allowed. I still have bad times every now and again, some times when I have sex with my boyfriend, or some times when I'm lying in bed with only my thoughts, some times even when I see a picture of me when I was little.

Some times it feels like this is an experience that only I can relate to. I barely ever see people talk about the deep trauma that was inflicted on them by porn, zero parental guidance, compulsive masturbation, etc. that sometimes I wonder if it's just me. It's also something that has taken me almost 22 years to talk about, even anonymously like this, so I know that if anyone can relate, it must be difficult to discuss for you too.

This was really long so if anyone actually reads this thanks kek. I think this is just something I've had on my mind for a bit since beginning therapy and I wanted to actually put it down somewhere.

No. 284887

>>284881
Wow this is actually super relatable, like almost every word. You're definitely not alone nona.

Having grown up with the internet and discovered degen sites like Newgrounds through innocent gaming sites at like 8 years old, the whole phrase "adult content" feels so disingenuous to me. I had a severe porn addiction that I had quit twice before I even turned 18. I hate how it fucked up my sexuality, and how it still influences me. I've been able to slowly heal to the point where I can make up fantasies that are not so contaminated by porn but I hate it that I will never experience sexuality in a completely "innocent" way.

No. 284888

I think I finally beat watching porn for any sexual gratification. I used to try and watch it when I get in the mood but now it does absolutely nothing for me, it disgusts me and I can just shut it off. I usually just get off on my own thoughts or visit my nigel and it’s okay. I’m glad that I’m at this point where i feel nothing watching porn

No. 284925

File: 1662132084121.png (101.81 KB, 372x350, Sin título.png)

(and now! the longest post ever!)
Personally, I'm on my way to quit all kinds of porn and if possible masturbation for good in hopes to get my brain and my body back…
I think it all started when I was around 6 or 7 years old and I had a TV in my room (which I didn't share with anyone, my only sibling was my brother who had his own room too) and i eventually found sex scenes from movies. I "discovered my body" to those old reality shows form the 2000s that were borderline pornography… Every night I'd desperately click the remote looking for more and more graphic stuff but it's tv so it was still pretty tame stuff imo.
Then, at 12, we got internet connection and a computer which was mostly used by me. That's when I found out dirty erotic games (mostly drawn stuff I think). At around the same time I got my first smartphone (it was 2012) and soon enough I had my first encounter with actual porn videos. I think what I first watched was one of those shockingly bizarre viral videos, 2-girls-1-cup-esque. I have no idea how often or what kind of videos I watched as a teenager (it's all a blur) but I know I had my entire sexuality (as in puberty and as in sexual orientation) based around them…
ps: my tv consumption was quite vaguely supervised, no channels were blocked and I just had to make sure my parents didn't walk in on me "busy" at night (I was sent to bed at around 22:00 but I just had to keep the volume low); internet wasn't supervised more than just having my mom look over my shoulder during the afternoon whenever she was around the house.
I would do incredibly inappropriate things, especially when I was little, that I won't describe.
I kept growing and I found feminism, and then radical feminism. I never bought into the idea that sex work could be empowering but I did buy into the "sex work is cool" thing. I had plans on running away from the mess at home and work as stripper or even a prostitute the minute I turned 18. As I write this I can't believe there was a point in my life where, even though I knew I didn't desire to be touched sexually and the thought of having people looking and judging my body was frightening, I thought doing those things I said was even an option. I thought that would make me feel pretty, so different from what I was always told I was: ugly, stupid and useless.
I was around 15. I understood the harm sex work does to women in and outside that industry. I was too selfish to try to quit pornography. "I'm only one person" I thought. Truth is I used it as an antidepressant. It never worked for more than a few seconds but I kept consuming.
At 18, I made up my mind and found out after doubting since I was 13 that I was in fact: a lesbian. I made a real effort to quit porn and was surprised to see that I just couldn't. It took me some years to understand that it isn't only unethical to consume it but it's also damaging to the brain in a neurological sense.
Now at 23 I'm still on the battle and I'm not gonna give up.
I feel like I can't tell all this without telling a little about the story of my life, lol. This affected deeply my relationship with my sense of self, my body as a woman, my mental health (concentration, self esteem, will to live, etc), my relationship with other people, and many more things.
I don't like to blame my parents but I lowkey wish I had never gotten a tv, or internet connection ever.
My connection between my feelings and my body is shattered.
My goal, as I said, is to quit everything: audio, written, images/gifs and of course videos. I'm sick of everything XXX. I want my brain and my body back!
I've been one month and two weeks free of adult videos. I relapsed once with a suggestive photo, a couple times with written stories and once with an audio. I try to be kind to myself but disciplined.
I hope this wasn't too hard to read I tried to be as concise and clear as I could.

Anyway: helpful resources
I Am Sober app (to track your days without problematic consumption of anything, it's free and you don't need to log in)
Dr Trish Leigh on youtube (for info and extremely helpful tips)(lolcow.farm/info)

No. 287755

I know it's Twitter, but I saw yet another big tweet saying porn addiction is not real and just a right wing myth, and it makes me want to scream. It's true that everything can be addictive (sugar, video games, phones, etc.) but I don't understand why people are so brainwashed that they don't see that getting behaviorally addicted to watching what is usually the result of human trafficking (the vast majority of the time), to just be a non-issue or a matter of "moderation" (normally I would agree to be moderate with habit-forming things, as someone who is on a diet, but not rape on tape). And I see the argument that it's also a myth to stop people from "exploring their sexuality" - how? My issues with sexual stuff started as a teenager and gawking at images of sex didn't help me "explore", it made me more confused about what I liked, looking at porn isn't exploration, especially if you're sitting at home doing it and not trying to date people. It's so frustrating how brainwashed people are. I'm not even anti-sex or anti-erotica but the difference between that and the shit on Pornhub is like night and day.

No. 287768

>>287755
>And I see the argument that it's also a myth to stop people from "exploring their sexuality" - how?
Troon propaganda and pro-porn/kink propaganda go hand-in-hand, as well as pro-MAP propaganda (curious…). I've literally seen loli-addicted trannies claim that hentai addiction is a good thing because it helps them figure out their gender identity. Most porn defenders think like this, maybe not with respect to pedo shit specifically, but with porn in general. They also think the women featured in real porn are consenting to being treated like trash and that becoming like that is a result of their own thoughts and not of the endless factors that influence women to sell their bodies for money and the pleasure of males in a misogynistic society.
The reality is that becoming a porn addict, at least as a woman, puts you at a greater risk of contracting STDs, damaging your body, or being sexually and physically abused, and probably more.

No. 287779

>>287768
I think the OP of the tweet was a man or a TIF pretending to be a man, but telling someone to watch porn to "explore" makes no sense because (pretending we are in an alternative universe where porn is harmless) what can be appealing to look at is different from what might feel good with your body. But people are just using porn as a replacement for actual exploration with other people they met organically.

I don't think it's inherently pro-MAP/paraphilia, but you might be onto something; I watched a Youtube video where an anonymous "ex-zoophile" talked about how he was groomed into bestiality by having someone encourage him to watch it (since it's not illegal to view like CP is), and he thought he was one too because the stimulus made his body respond (something I've read from people with OCD). Porn is very stimulating visually, even if it's something you aren't into. I had (past-tense) a gay friend who was so addicted and got bored with gay porn, that he started watching transvestite and even straight porn, even though he didn't like women, it fed a feedback loop of sexual imagery that excited him physically but not mentally.

No. 288076

>>287779
Confession : I followed a meme page during an era of Covid where Instagram didnt care about taking posts down and there were a bunch of meme pages who’d post fucked up shit, anyways one posted a video of a lady bent down having sex with a dog it turned me on but obviously I unfollowed them and felt so ashamed. She was moaning and everything like one might in an actual regular video.

No. 288117

>>219524
This is great nonnie. What a positive development!

No. 292718

>>284925
Good luck nonna. You are not alone.

No. 292758

>>272977
heaven is a place on earth

No. 293033

Erotic literature doesn’t count right?

No. 293039

Got a bf who doesn't watch porn or masturbates, and that made me quit completely. Stopped before we had sex for the first time and i dont feel like watching porn anymore. Also now its kinda hot to not masturbate especially to porn, makes our connection even deeper. Why would i cuck myself watching other people have sex they dont even enjoy, when i can save up my lust for a partner who also only has eves for me?

Ive been an on and off porn addict since i was 13, so this is huge for me. Been two months without porn now.

No. 293112

>>293033
It counts. If you read it so much it gets in the way of other things, don't feel aroused and/or can't masturbate without it, think about it when you're away from it, go to it like a compulsion or on pure reflex as soon as you get the chance, etc., it's addiction. Be careful.

No. 293131

What do you guys think about burlesque? I went to a show once and found it very fun, it didn’t feel very male gaze-y which I liked (I noticed lots of women there without men), but it was still sexualized to some degree. I’m conflicted. I’m personally grossed out by most porn now, but the show and performances didn’t feel like that kind of ick to me. What do you nonnies think?

No. 293716

>>293039
Congrats nonna, that's amazing. So far I haven't found any nigels around my area that isn't a coomer, I hope more people realize this shit soon.

No. 294039

>>293131
This is just my own opinion, but the problem I have with porn isn't that it's sexual, it's that the industry is not remotely ethical and linked with trafficking, and when you watch porn, there's no way to tell if it's revenge porn (leaked nudes/sex tape/etc.), if the actor is underage, or if something nonconsensual outside of contract happened when the cameras went off, etc. I don't think things that are sexual are inherently bad, since most of the adult population are sexual beings. Unless burlesque has shady things going behind-the-scenes like strip clubs do, I don't think there's an inherent issue with things like that. Unless someone who knows more about that scene and wants to educate me.

No. 294095

>>294039
That’s an interesting perspective anon, you have a good point. I’d also be interested in learning about the backstage culture.

No. 294120

>>294039
I've already been against porn and what pushed me even further was being reminded about editors, backstage stuff. I remember reading about a few instances of porn video editors dealing with lots of blood, vomit, and other various fluids and drugs and cries of pain and the moments where the actors are being taken care of to get cleaned up or touched up, and they edit all that out to make it look like none of that happened and everything went smoothly.
I have no doubts similar things happen at burlesque shows. Whatever is done backstage, such as performers using drugs to get through the night, is common.

No. 294139

>>294120
AYRT, that's why I say I'm not educated about it and just leave my opinion open-ended. If it's shady behind-the-scenes, then it's something I don't support and do see as something someone porn-free should avoid. If it's more akin to a fashion scene like Goth but with sexier outfits and performances (quick skim on Wikipedia says they used to be satirical shows), then no problem, since I don't think sexual content itself is wrong. It's the lack of ethics attached to 99.9% of porn.

No. 294383

I hate when I go on torrent sites and I have to see all the porn torrents mixed in with the shows and movies. I know it's a small problem but it triggers me and gives me bad memories when I see those things while randomly browsing.

No. 294386

>>294383
Me too Nona. I know TGX let's you filter out pornography from searches. I wish more torrent sites had that option and would enable it by default.

No. 294387

File: 1665967660738.jpg (51.94 KB, 750x1000, flat,750x,075,f-pad,750x1000,f…)

I'm so mad at myself. I know that masturbation feels so much better for me when I just use my finger + imagination. The climax doesn't feel so good when I look at porn. I guess it's because I'm too focus on the image.
Yet I keep looking up hentai whenever I get horny instead of just getting off to my fantasy. I actually think it's link to my phone addiction because I need an image and sound to look at because I think I won't be stimulated otherwise.
It also just takes up too much of my time because instead of just wanking it and then continue my day I have to spend so much time looking for the right gif of an anime girl getting fucked because I'm critical of art. It doesn't even turn me on! But I feel like I need to look at something!!
Worst is how gross I feel after getting off to hentai. It's just the degrading way men view women and how they view sex as a form for domination. And the disgusting stuff I get in my recommendations is traumatising, for example (BLACKED OUT TEXT IS EXTREMELY DISTURBING SO BE CAREFUL) 3d animation of children that is made to look as realistic as possible I never click on it but it keeps showing up.
All this has just made me disturbed by men and sex. I hate it. I hate myself for watching it. It's not even turning me on I'm just mindlessly rubbing my clit while staring the screen with a blank expression. At this point I legit think it's a form for self harm. I don't know what to do. I have tried reading erotica but as soon as I get turned on by that I just find some gross hentai gif and start getting off to that instead.
I'm so fucking pathetic

No. 295383

>>294387
Have you tried looking at artwork drawn by women? This might be an unpopular opinion, but while 99% of hentai is (for lack of a better word) problematic and moidy, I don't think sexual artwork is always as bad as literal filmed rape. I notice most hentai is drawn by porn addicts, but I've seen some female artist stuff that wasn't so bad. I've personally started making my own artwork because I'm critical of art too, I used to fall into rabbit holes searching for "the perfect image", but there's honestly no such thing, so I started doing it myself.

I've never created a feedback loop by masturbating to hentai, but I talked to someone who used to be addicted and one thing she told me was that she would "taper off" using it, or when she was watching it and about to reach orgasm, she would stop and think about something else to rewire the feedback loop. I also turn my phone off or use a website blocker addon that blocks porn sites when I was the most addicted to my phone and masturbated a lot.

IDK, I really wish some kind of therapy existed for this stuff. I tried talking to some sex therapists, but they tend to be pro-porn which is the opposite of what I need.

No. 295628

File: 1666572108665.gif (1.32 MB, 300x166, zIBDvJW.gif)

>>284925
Those site blockers for desktop and mobile don't do enough imo
i need something that drops a gallon of freezing water over me whenever i even think of relapsing….

No. 295635

>>295628
Something that helped me a lot with feeling turned off by irl porn is knowing that the women in porn are getting raped, they're not having fun, they're high as fuck, specially if the video never shows the face of the woman.
Also knowing that the "homemade" videos are probably, if not surely, revenge porn is quite fucked up.
I still look drawn porn, but not as much as before I was at my worst moment with my porn addiction.
Something that also helps me with looking for drawn porn is being selective, just not picking the first thing that comes up, knowing that non-con themes are easy to spot by the tags or by the way a face is drawn helps a lot.
I also never look for stuff with school themes because it's a huge turn off to me, so that depressingly reduces the things I could even watch/look/read, since most anime or cartoon porn tends to have schoolgirl/boy themes, which is very fucked up.
And just try to become extremely selective, being only into porn with dark skin women helped me a lot as well, because there's barely any drawn porn with adult women of color in a consensual scenario. Which is again really depressing if you think about it.
So pick something that may feel retardedly random but that you think you would like. Like characters with beauty marks, characters wearing certain outfits, characters with certain hairstyles, and so on.
It helps because the more selective you are, the longer it will take to find something and the more tedious it will be to look for porn.
I don't think that stopping to masturbate is good tbh, I mean, sexual urges are natural after all. Just try to use your imagination.

No. 295649

>>295635
NTA but being selective is what helped me kill my porn addiction as well. In my case it happened accidentally, I discovered those femporn threads on /h/, realized that there was a lot more straight anime porn for women than I thought, and I liked it so much that hentai for males stopped being appealing to me entirely. I started to pay more attention to how the male and female characters are drawn and who the angles focused on when I looked at any anime porn to spot the pics that weren't for women, and every time I found something aimed at males it pissed me off kek. So now when I look at moid hentai I'm just annoyed because it's for scrotes and the girls are drawn to be more attractive for them.
It was also helped by the fact that cute male characters in hentai who are my type are non-existent. Cute males are already rare in moid hentai, but cute ones with my favorite traits are impossible to find. Then I became bored with femporn too because there's so little of it that it's hard to find anything that really caters to my specific tastes. Then I learned to masturbate to my husbandos using my imagination without looking at pictures.

For real porn I just had some truly unpleasant experiences with porn addicted misogynistic scrotes, read about the effects of porn in young people, and about how women in porn are treated and its relation to sex crimes (which I gotta thank farmers for). It all traumatized me so much that thinking about real porn makes me depressed, it's practically impossible for me to get off to that shit now.

I consider myself cured of porn addiction as I don't look at real porn and only use hentai once in a blue moon (and every time I do, it's really disappointing like you said), and don't really need porn to get off, but my fetishes are permanently fucked up from years of porn addiction, I think.

No. 295655

>>295649
Don't worry, nonna! You can fix your fetishes as well. I used to be into rape and teacher/student shit, just basically pedo anime porn because I used to self-insert as the teen.
But knowing how fucked up are moids, learning that growing up isn't shameful, that life doesn't end when you're over 21 years old, and so much more, made me stop feeling turned on by that shit.
I don't think fetishes are something that can't be helped, I think you can change them or destroy them completely as long as you rationalize just why you're into those things, why they turn you on, how it affects your self esteem, what would someone close to you think about you if you told them about these things you're into.
It's awkward and it makes you want to kill yourself sometimes, but it works.

No. 295793

>>295383
I'm starting to build up an hidden folder with art done by women. Since it's on my storage instead of social media I'm not going to get an algorithm that shows me stuff I hate.
Thanks for the tip nona

No. 295822

>>295649
Nta. I still struggle with porn addiction and have posted in this thread before. Femporn and spicy fanfic/romance novels really does check all the boxes for me, but for some reason I still go to moid hentai for my fix. I think because it's so easily available and visually addicting? I'm still incredibly picky with it though. With femporn, I can look at to get started and then just use my imagination. I guess I just don't know where to find it–I usually just stumble upon it

No. 295829

since porn drawn by women already has been bought up, can anyone recommended female artists that draw women in a non-pickme way? Female yuri artists would be much appreciated too, thanks

No. 296111

>>295635
I agree that being selective does help. I posted in this thread multiple times and mentioned this before but I only watched real porn a few times when male friends showed it to me, but I had a very unhealthy relationship with drawn stuff as a result of being groomed online and exposed to it as a kid. As an adult my preferences kind of "matured"; IRL, I prefer women who don't shave their body hair (lmao) and have pretty, mature faces - I hardly ever see that in most hentai or western cartoon art, where everyone is so young, and the artists I find who do draw it as more of a "passion project" (it's something they are truly attracted to) than trying to be shocking or make money.

No. 296144

any nonnas have recs for documentaries about the effects of porn, porn addiction, the industry, etc…. basically any true life-based film that discusses the pitfalls of porn. i have a podcast i like that is focused around porn addiction and its effects and now im on a kick hearing some womens stories and i want to learn more

No. 296150

>>296144
Hot Girls Wanted on Netflix comes to mind (about the industry, not addiction)

No. 296170

>>296150
i looked on imdb for the reviews bc i was curious to see how it was rated and a bunch of reviewers (mostly male usernames) were going on about how the girls just seem stupid, entitled, and not really victimized at all. makes me want to watch it even more. favorite quote of all
>Warning, you may not want to watch porn for a while
a while?? watch out boys, we got a saint in here

No. 296178

>>296170
>how the girls just seem stupid, entitled, and not really victimized at all
The lack of empathy required to come to that conclusion after watching it it's honestly disturbing

No. 296697

>>295829
Oh fuck I was about to link several artists but they draw really explicit straight porn for women and your post gave me the impression that you would prefer f/f

No. 301122

I was born in the early 90s and was exposed to porn for the first time when I was 9 years old. I’ve been addicted to it and didn’t start questioning it until I was in my early to mid 20s, because I grew up with the attitude that all sexuality except pedophilia is healthy (even if you're a pedophile it's totally ok, just don't act on it), live and let live etc. I used tumblr and was mostly into hentai, but obviously my tastes grew more and more extreme parallel to internet porn becoming more and more extreme.

I recently found myself having a huge relapse and almost didn’t question it at first. I was a bit disappointed in myself for being a hypocrite and going against my own morals, but it feels so good to just let go and turn off your brain and give into pleasure right? I ended up becoming hypersexual around my bf, less emotionally present during sex, disappointed if he wasn’t up for several rounds, fixated on kinks (he is more vanilla than me), literally wasting all my time looking at porn etc. Thankfully he actually brought the issue of porn up with me and told me he had used it but felt weird looking at it after we started dating, that he had wanted to cut down on it anyway. He knew about some of the research on porn being bad, and the conversation we had made me second-guess what I was doing.

I’m currently listening to «Your Brain On Porn». Yes yes, moids have no empathy and only worry about porn once it affects their dick, but when you hear about the research, coupled with how young kids are on average when exposed to porn (I was only 9 years old!!!), when you think about it from the angle of child grooming, I am still able to have sympathy with moids too. While girls are groomed into objectifying ourselves and into thinking we enjoy being physically abused, boys are groomed into getting off to the most depraved and pathetic stuff you can imagine. They are groomed into using their body as a weapon. When I think about that 7, 8, 9 year old boys I feel sad.

I believe there will be a backlash. I’m low-key tempted to become more outspokenly antiporn on reddit. I wanna pm girls and scrotes who are active on porn subreddits with my concerns about them having been groomed kek. If I make even a couple of them second-guess themselves, I think it’s well worth it.

No. 301126

>>301122
>when you think about it from the angle of child grooming, I am still able to have sympathy with moids too.
Yeah, you might get backlash, and it's not a hill I'd die on, but I've known antiporn men who were exposed at an early age. Not to mention it's considered a "cool guy thing" to be okay with and watch. That's why I kind of think male communities like NoFap can potentially be a good thing, even if I really hate how they focus on why addiction itself is unhealthy and not the ethics involved with what they're jerking to. That said, I have a hard time trusting men who confess to watching violent or illegal stuff in the past.

No. 309815

Just a vent. Had a very bad relapse. I wanted to stop coming to lc and the whole changing admins and everything being super slow made me think now is a good time to leave. But I don't really have anything to replace it with. There isn't really anywhere for me to fart around on the internet anymore. I no longer have online friends either. And so, I ended up replacing my endless scrolling with smutty josei mangas, explicit fics, and a discord server with a femporn channel. The thing is that I still can't get off to female targeted smut even though I want to. I memed myself into liking moid degen hentai in my late teens/early 20s. I don't watch or read that stuff anymore and I'm glad I am still able to control myself in that regard, but I have to think about it to climax. Makes me feel disgusting and worthless.

No. 309840

>>309815
I wish I knew what the answer is, but I've had gross fantasies that make me uncomfortable from a young age, and I notice that I feel less gross about it when I orgasm while thinking about it and not looking at content of it. Another thing is that I have "flare ups" of being reliant on those thoughts when I'm going through stress and self esteem issues, so I try to adjust my lifestyle. I think finding people to talk to can be a good distraction too, can you find any SFW spaces (of anything) just for idle chit chat?

No. 320057

>>170405
I don't know what to do.

I spent years completely celibate and not using any pornography. A little over a year ago I started having sex with my boyfriend, and suddenly I'm just so much hornier since I guess I'm being "primed" by sex with him, compared to before when I was celibate.

I don't live with him, so I can't have sex very often. So I'm so horny throughout the week. I work from home and can't focus at work until I cum. But when I masturbate, I can only seem to get off with a dildo and rubbing my clit at the same time, which requires both hands.

This leaves more moral forms of pornography, like erotica, as non-options. And I can't get off without some sort of stimulus alone. I know that video pornography is immoral. The type I watch is very vanilla and not fetishistic, but it's still immoral and hurts women as a class. I feel so guilty but recently not guilty enough to not do it. I feel like such a bad person.

No. 322238

Hope I can get some advice or help. Is there any possible way to get rid of a fetish or kink, or at least go back to vanilla? I think I've gotten to a point of addiction where I've seeked out more and more extreme and hardcore content that my brain has become overstimulated that normal PiV cannot get me off. I don't like that the things I like go against my morals, I do not like that I require extreme and hardcore content to get off. Definitely still have some standards such as not liking porn that depicts women get hurt physically or has overtly misogynistic dialogue but that's about where it ends. Being a huge weeb and by proxy being exposed to hentai at very young age of all things basically ruined me I feel. I just want to be able to masturbate to vanilla, or at least destroy my libido and work it from the ground up.

No. 322323

>>322238
Have you tried the techniques in this article? https://medium.com/@kittyit/taking-back-your-mind-a-radical-feminist-approach-to-recovering-from-porn-use-8ae9347c3d8f

I had phases where I had unhealthy kinks/fantasies, and one thing that also helped me was analyzing why they appealed to me and the reasons why I developed the kink in the first place. It helped me recognize them as self harm or a part of a psychological trauma issue and lean more into healthier fantasies with similar themes. If you really want to kill your libido, antidepressants and/or birth control can do that too, but I wouldn't recommend that as an absolute last resort.

No. 322338

>>322238
Start by quitting and deleting all porn. I’d even quit erotica and the like. Take some time to touch yourself slowly and figure out what physical sensations are pleasurable for you. If a porn-induced idea pops into your head, take a moment to pause and focus on your breathing. Resume when the thought passes. You don’t need to make the initial goal orgasming: just focus on what you like. You can put on music/white noise/rain sounds, use oils/lube, light candles, take a bath, pick sexy clothes, use fingers/toys/ask a partner to help… focus on making yourself feel good without the help of porn and by feeling what your body likes. Touch different body parts: your ears, your neck, your inner thighs, your nipples, etc. with different pressures or speeds. What feels good? Try experimenting with sensations: ice cubes, different pressures or strokes, vibrating vs. penetrative toys, different fabric textures, blindfolds, etc. There are a bajillion listicles on ways to get creative with masturbating without porn. Over time, you’ll be able to masturbate without relying on porn or your mental rolodex of porn imagery or ideas.

Sorry for the long response, just wanted to give you ideas. I promise you it’s very possible, even if it seems impossible now. I quit porn about 3 years ago for ethical reasons. I felt like I was also veering into more and more hardcore stuff and I was unhappy with it. After focusing on what my body actually liked I feel like a lot of the pornsick imagery, ideas, kinks, etc. just went away. I didn’t realize how much I had been conditioning myself to be aroused to it by masturbating to it over and over again. I feel mostly repulsed or uninterested in most pornsick stuff now. I usually just use a toy and my fingers nowadays. If I want some stimulation, I occassionally read some erotica or listen to some sensual audio (the app Dipsea is pretty decent). I look at drawn stuff maybe a few times a year, but most drawn porn is a huge turn off once you stop rotting your brain with porn, so I mostly stick to audio and literature based erotica. If I find myself listening to or reading something that feels too pornsick for me or that I feel perpetuates harmful ideas about women’s sexuality, I just turn it off or pick something else or masturbate based off of sensation alone.

You can do it nonna! I believe in you

No. 329508

When I was a child (10-15) I was exposed to a lot of porn (both 2d and 3d) and I would basically consume anything and everything. Usually the only requirement would be that a woman is in it but at one point I was in so deep I would look at the most depraved things. I would also look at a lot of horrible gore. I would spend many hours a day just browsing and looking at this porn and gore and trying to masturbate to everything including decapitation and torture.I was an active poster on gurochan and gore subreddits when I was 13-15. I feel very dirty and want to forget everything. I'm lesbian but feel bad about calling myself one because I used to be a porn addicted child. I feel bad about even calling myself human because of what I grew up looking at. I'm repulsed by most pornographic content now but I still look at 2d solo and lesbian hentai of my waifu because I love her and this doesn't affect me negatively.
>>284858
I would play a lot of games like this. I played a lot of hentai games about abusing women. It's too easy to access content like this. How can I cure my self esteem about this or brainwash myself into forgetting? I think what I saw traumatized me a little bit.

No. 329520

>>329508
Step 1. Stop obsessing over your old, long discarded habits and live in the present.

No. 329544

>>322238
Take de-escalation steps.
>starting point: obsessed with degenerate hentai mindbreak rape
>step down to only rape where it’s a dream or fantasy and only ones with the woman getting off as the main feature
>step down to just consensual pleasure mindbreak
>read a doujin with a lovey couple backstory instead of watching a highschool incest molestation hentai or whatever
I don’t know worked for me. Really lost my interest in the worst stuff. Good taste can protect you sometimes. But sometimes you just have to fully stop consuming it to adjust your habits, I don’t know your whole situation. I think you should go easy on yourself and not stress so much, if you’re calm you can think rationally about what you’re watching and maybe find an alternative. I think self-shaming feeds into cycles of frantic binges of the worst porn and you start to think your brain and libido is broken and get really down on yourself, but you can absolutely change your habits if you take a deep breath and take a step away

No. 329576

>>329520
You are right but I would feel deceptive for hiding this from a potential future partner so I feel like I shouldn't forget about this.

No. 329578

>>329576
Oh you sweet summer child. Yes, you should keep stuff like that to yourself as long as it doesn't affect your relationship.

No. 329581

>>329578
Ok thank you. I will try hard to forget.

No. 329582

>>329576
You are not remotely obliged to share your youthful pornography consumption habits with a future partner. In fact I advise against it, especially describing the specific porn you looked at. Just say you were addicted to porn if you have to say anything, nobody wants the details even if they love you. My husband doesn’t want to know I looked at daddy/daughter molestation porn exclusively for six months or whatever and I’m sure not gonna fucking tell him lmao (I was dealing with something dark at the time!)

No. 329583

>>329581
Not quite what I meant. Learn to accept it as a stupid teenager thing and not some deep, dark secret. Because that's true, you were a dumb horny teen high on hormones.

No. 329585

>>329582
Thank you. I don't know how much I am supposed to share with people or not about a lot of things, I'm still learning. I'm waiting to be diagnosed with ASD if that explains anything.
>>329583
I can't bring myself to think about it like that because it didn't feel trivial to me, it affected me quite deeply and scared me a lot. So in my case I think it would be better to just forget as much as I can.

No. 329587

>>329585
Some things are private/just for you. Past pornography habits are private/secret info in my opinion, you couldn’t torture it out of me. Current habits should be shared with an intimate partner (if you even watch porn anymore) but even that depends on what you’re both comfortable with, you don’t have to share everything and your partner may not want to know. Lots of people don’t want to hear about your sex life before you were with them (especially when it involves other people, but also your solo sexual activities).

No. 332639

anyone else feel like they become a different person when horny? when I'm done masturbating to hentai I suddenly realise "wait this isn't sexy at all". Not only do I mean the content and the act depicted in the hentai but I also realise that the artstyle is ugly(which most coom art is) and the women dont even look or act like the women I'm attracted to irl. Yet I still seek out the same hentai when I get horny.
Whenever I randomly stumble upon this sort of stuff it doesn't turn me on but whenever I get horny I'm like "I should open the internet and look for this sort of stuff"

No. 332642

>>332639
Typical post nut clarity.

No. 332683

>>332639
I wonder if there’s any studies about that. Because it’s just crazy how porn consumption tends go kind of like this for me:
>sexy picture with clothes on
>sexy picture in underwear
>sexy picture naked
>sexy gif
>gif where two people are fucking
>vanilla video without sound
>vanilla video with sound
>a bit “kinky” with sound
>very “kinky” with sound
>bizarre shit out of morbid curiosity because it was in the related tags
And when it comes to hentai, the way my reading progresses (I absolutely hate watching hentai because it’s obnoxious as fuck) like this:
>manga with vanilla sex
>vanilla sex with monster
>”kinky” sex
>shit gets weird because it has a tag I care about
>shit gets weirder, now I don’t care about the tags anymore unless it’s some really fucked up shit like lolicon/shotacon or bestiality because that turns me off since it’s disgusting.
I don’t get why it progresses like that, like if I don’t control myself like I do, I can end up reading some weird ass shit with rape and futanari shit (if the characters don’t look grotesque of course).

No. 332723

File: 1685737032239.jpg (45.54 KB, 744x736, 04a3bfeffb9f0e03cc61456d4d0989…)

nonas… I'm never gonna break this cycle of bad habits

No. 332733

>>332723
You can do it, nonnie! Just try to fight the urges, find something to do, make people call you so you get turned off, maybe try to get a tight schedule so you don’t have an option but to avoid masturbating with porn.

No. 332768

File: 1685745994607.jpg (31.7 KB, 640x360, Higurashi-Gou-13-39.jpg)

I'm definitely addicted to porn. I haven't analysed it before but I think it's affecting my sex life. I find sex boring and I'd rather watch porn and masturbate. I don't feel sensitive at all – having sex barely feels pleasurable. It's ok, but not pleasurable. The problem is I definitely, definitely can't orgasm, no matter what. It's starting to worry me; sometimes when my bf finishes and goes to shower I secretly watch porn on my phone to help with the frustration. What's worse is that I fake it and the acting makes me feel ridiculous. Occasionally I get a little shock of pleasure that prompts me to produce a genuine response but it's exceedingly rare and I'm not sure how to… conjure it.

Head doesn't feel good, fingering doesn't feel good, kink stuff I abhor, PIV feels alright but it's always over too soon and it's getting to the point where I can take it or leave it… I feel hopeless! When I first started having regular sex the novelty made me feel at least aroused but I'm worried that particular 'well' is also drying up.

Like most, I started watching hardcore porn at a young age. I think I started with bizarre-o hentai and then moved to real people pretty exclusively in BDSM situations. I was very insecure growing up and felt uncomfortable with the fact I was a girl – not in a trans way, I mostly just felt unworthy and hideous. My clit is also on the bigger side so when I saw in porn that the actress' bodies looked different to mine I was very freaked out and for many years I thought I needed surgery. I desperately searched for ways to mutilate my own vagina to make it look 'normal'. I remember looking at the knives in the kitchen and wondering if there was something I could do, I must've been about 13. When I first had sex with my current boyfriend I was very reluctant; he was eager to give me head but I kept putting it off and I only had sex with my clothes still partially on. When I eventually relented I cried and told him that I didn't look like other girls and that he wouldn't like it. Big, big, ugly cry.

I was disgusted by myself and I guess that manifested in the types of porn I consumed. During my pre-to-late teens I'd exclusively consume porn that abused males, proper guro doujins or weird BDSM stuff, pegging etc. The woman had to be in control and ideally clothed. I don't watch those things anymore but I did for about 6 or 7 years. By the time I started having sex and getting into relationships (which I thought would never happen to me because I thought I was a hideous turbovirgin loser) I genuinely believed that the only type of sex I could feasibly have was S&M. I'd strangle people and spit on them and tie them up just so I could stay clothed. It made me realise that I actually hate all that shit lol. I only have regular sex now and for a while that was great, I couldn't come but at least it felt good. But at the moment I barely feel a thing.

I hate pornsickness. I feel like I've moulded my brain into a sexually neurotic male brain: I watched so much hardcore porn that I think my sex drive snapped and inane things started turning me on instead. I started jacking off to videos of women putting on lipgloss. I feel like a pest.

I'm much less insecure about my body but I'm definitely pornsick. I really want to enjoy sex. I'm also worried about neural plasticity and all that – the porn-haze that washes over me makes me feel so dumb and unproductive. Is it best to go cold turkey on porn altogether? If I masturbate less as a result will it help me to regain sensitivity?

No. 332787

I'm dating a normal guy now who doesn't watch porn and I catch myself every now and then saying I want to do something sexually that really weirds him out and makes him uncomfortable, or I'll use the word "fetish" and he'll question me on how a fetish ever develops. I've never told him how heavily I was into porn for so much of my adult life and I forget what things are a part of normal sexuality and what things are perverted that I've picked up along the way. He's already said a few times its made him uncomfortable how I've talked about certain things or things I've wanted to try (which to me have not been the wildest things even) and it reminds me how damaged my brain is. Anyone else dealing with this?

No. 332788

>>332787
Samefag but while I'm here I may as well continue venting, but my ex before this one was a full blown porn addict (hentai only, he couldn't get hard to real women in porn at all) and we would act out all these crazy scenarios and watch hentai together. I really thought I had such a healthy sexual relationship because I was completely free to do whatever I wanted sexually with him and even watch hentai together. Now I'm in a relationship where not only does my guy not watch porn but never got deep into it anyway even as a teenager and explicitly says he is uncomfortable with me watching it.. its been a learning process to say the least. Please no sperging out about how "anon every man watches porn!!" please

No. 332919

File: 1685813600843.jpg (40.31 KB, 654x500, Tumblr_l_48630846977073.jpg)

I posted here a few times about my struggles and I've been doing good these past several months. No relapses. I don't masturbate often anymore and when I do, it's to my imagination. The scrote-tier hentai material I broke my brain to no longer does anything for me. I didn't quit cold turkey, but I immediately moved to female-friendly material like josei smut works and fanfiction that is very vanilla which albeit is still porn but leaves a lot to the imagination. I did break periods where I wouldn't consume anything R18 at all and would consciously consume it less and less. Then eventually just stopped using it entirely. I know it's always going to be an ongoing struggle, but I feel so much better about myself these days.

No. 333251

its so bizarre my sex dreams centers around me watching porn. instead dreaming of me being in sexual acts all my sexual dreams are of me lying in bed while browsing porn. The "arousing" part of the dream is me clicking on a 2d porn video and then the video starts playing.
to be fair my sex dreams have always been bizarre even before I started watching porn. they used to be about me grinding(while clothed) against people I'm not attracted to (I always woke up feeling gross after those dreams) but I hate that I have become so disconnected to my own sexuality that even in my dreams I rely on porn
>>332919
that's awesome anon! proud of yoy

No. 338804

Has anyone else had trouble masturbating after quitting porn? When I masturbate it's so hard to get myself significantly turned on, especially for long enough to actually orgasm. I try to think of my husbando and stuff and I can get horny but then when I start touching myself it just goes downhill. It's like only the stuff that I conditioned myself to like through porn does anything for me instead of the things I actually like. It's so hard.

No. 338805

>>338804
Samefag, I guess it's important to add I haven't quit that long ago. It's been less than 5 months.

No. 338823

>>338804
At first it’s difficult, and you will get cravings too. Lately I’ve relapsed and watched porn, even irl porn, and tbh, once you notice how you can’t actually climax while watching it, you notice how shitty it is.
I guess something that helped me a lot with not watching porn is just analyzing it, since most of the time most people will just watch whatever.
You need to focus more on how you feel while imagining your husbando, don’t look for “inspiration” or the sorts because you may watch porn. Try to imagine what his hands would feel like on your body and what he may want to do with you and such. Sex headcanons about your husbandos are always a way to turn yourself on.
At some point you will notice how you can actually orgasm after thinking of your husbando and not after watching porn.

No. 338870

>>338804
Yes, I used to have this problem. It gets better. It's important that you're persistent and still think of the things you actually like instead of porn. If you can't get yourself turned on enough or orgasm, then just stop and do something else. Eventually your body will respond and it'll get much much easier to get turned on. Also, make sure that you don't use this as an excuse to watch porn. Don't even think about the porn you've watched either, that will set you back.

No. 341219

>>338823
>>338870
I'm back, thanks for the advice anons! I only masturbated like twice since making that post, and last night I was able to successfully have an orgasm. I did it while thinking about some fanfic I read, It was actually pretty quick and not a terrible orgasm.

No. 341420

Like many anons, I was exposed to porn at a pretty young age. We had playboy magazines out in the open and my mother would even encourage me to read through them as a kid. Then I became terminally online right as I was hitting puberty, so porn was rampant. It started off with manga, then fanart, then gifs, and only after I moved out did I start watching videos. It got to a point where I would masturbate to porn multiple times daily.

After reading into radfem topics and watching docs mentioned in this thread before like Hot Girls Wanted, I've significantly reduced my usage of it since 2020, and can go months at a time without it, but then I'll get horny one day and annoyed that I'm not orgasming quickly and pull up a video just to get that 'quick fix'. It's not even sexy to me. I find them in roundabout ways rather than going straight to a porn site, which is a huge waste of time and defeats the purpose of me trying to orgasm quickly kek. But each time it's always shameful because god damn it, why couldn't I just push through it? Why did I have to get so impatient? Even though I'm not going to let it get as bad as it did, relapsing even once still sucks.

I've been making a more active effort lately to reframe my thoughts when I'm masturbating, i.e. putting myself in the position of having sex instead of 'watching' it, thinking of someone I'm attracted to, and really thinking about the sensations of it all. The orgasms are great, but they still take a long time to get there (close to an hour) even if I'm super horny. And right now, I can only really use my vibrator to accomplish anything which I know I need to be 'weaned off' of. My arm just gets tired rubbing my clit for an hour. Another problem I have is that I still think back to certain videos if I'm struggling to stay turned on. I'll start doing what the past couple of anons mentioned and just stop when I find myself thinking of them so my brain can keep rewiring those connections. Good luck to the nonnies in this thread!!

No. 343303

I'm such a hypocrite. I claim to be a radical feminist yet can't stop doing something as basic as watching porn. I'm depressed as fuck so orgasms are usually the highlights of my day. What I didn't know was by consuming porn, I was conditioning myself to not be able to cum without it and now that I realize that, it's already too late for me. I feel like my brain has been damaged beyond repair.

No. 343304

>>343303
That is far from irreversible.
>claim to be
For your own mental health, stop associating with ideologies. I promise you your life is going to become 10x better.

No. 343305

>>343304
But I literally can't stop. I tired to distance myself from it but end up thinking "just one can't hurt, right?" and relapse every single time. I now truly understand how junkies feel.
>For your own mental health, stop associating with ideologies. I promise you your life is going to become 10x better.
That might be a better idea. I don't really know shit about me outside of labels and identities I plaster on myself.

No. 343306

>>343303
That's a myth. You can always cum without porn. Go a couple days without masturbating and then masturbate away from a screen. Promise, it works.

No. 343309

>>343305
Keep trying and don't cry over relapses.
If you eat healthy for 2 weeks and then gorge yourself on burgers once, it's not an excuse to say "yo all hope is lost" and spend the next year inhaling fast food. You just pick up where you left off.

No. 343631

>>343629
You’re retarded

No. 343644

>>343629
>men (aka hysterical chimps)
>elevated gender
i'm wheezing.
are you the blackpill wacko btw? s/he's always talking about blow jobs.

No. 343677

>>343644
Yes it is. It's the blowjob-kun

No. 343769

>>343631
>>343644
Stfu cocksucking femoid(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 343916

Porn has been with me for a long time, but even in the past few years where the worst of my addiction stopped, every 3-8 months I would have a 1-3 day binge. Always made me feel like shit, broken, damaging my sexuality, etc. So after years of this cycle and cold turkey clearly not fully working I'm trying to take some of the advice in this thread.

Uncertain where to start. Right now I'm allowing myself visual porn, but only of stripteases or less, and no endless scrolling - I find one video and stick to it or stop watching if I get bored.

I would like to move down to vanilla written and audio porn and kick the visual aspect. I also think that'll help enhance my own pleasure since I can imagine myself (especially in audio porn), but I''m being careful not to frame porn as a helpful thing since it may well just be cope. But I also sort of want to take a month break from porn and try and focus on myself for that month, before reintroducing vanilla porn. Have to decide on one.

Thanks for being here nonnas, it's really nice to see that I'm not the only one struggling.

No. 348711

i was trying to reboot and not masturbate for at least a month, but for some reason playing an old video game (virtual villagers lol) i played as a kid really started to trigger my urges. i ended up masturbating, not to porn, but it still left me feeling upset and unhappy. im confused, i guess it tapped into my childhood where all the games i played would end up as sexual fantasies in my mind. do any other nonas relate? i feel very alone. i also used to play a lot of adult games as a child so i wonder if that trained my mind to associate video games with pmo. i made it two weeks no pmo but i want to do it again and this time not be triggered by a 2006 pc game for kids.

No. 353806

File: 1697743844640.jpg (22.97 KB, 474x355, th-515901792.jpg)

Well nonnas I did it, I've completely fucked myself over. I'm only able to get myself off by watching these one or two specific hentai clips. Pathetic doesn't even begin to describe it. I guess it's time to reread this thread

No. 353885

I’m not sure I have an addiction, but I definitely have a habit. It’s gotten to the point where even when I’m seeking material out, I’m aware of how mundane it feels, almost like mindlessly scrolling through tiktok or something similar. I’m desensitized to it and am just waiting for something to come up that at least minimally fires off some receptors. Fortunately, I’ve never ventured into anything too depraved or hardcore to try to chase that high. I’d mostly look for female-based stuff, like solo stuff or lesbian, to the point where I thought I might be gay. However, I’m pretty sure even most vanilla hetero stuff just tends to be too grotesque. Now that I’m desensitized, I’m seeing that I’m not really attracted to the women themselves, my brain wiring is just fucked to equate naked female with arousal.

I’ve logged off twitter and Reddit, as these were the platforms it would be too easy to seek out or even stumble

No. 353886

>>353885
… stumble upon content and get the urge* Fml I accidentally posted and couldn’t delete…Anyways, I’m pregnant and married to a man who loves me and our soon to be family very much. I’m very lucky and feel scummy with this habit, so I really want to kick it for good now. I’m hoping I can’t stay off these hell sites and kick my phone/internet addiction as well. I have to be a better person.

No. 353887

>>353885
This happened to me at some point with hentai, I don't think scrotes experience this tbh and might be a sign in porn-addicted women that you're about to start recovering (I quit a few months after it happened to me)

No. 353905

Ever since the age of 17, I’ve been addicted to highly degrading and abusive porn.
I’m constantly searching for forced gangbangs, violent scenarios, double or even triple penetration. The more violent the better, sometimes I specifically try to find rape porn. As a woman who’s been raped herself this really confuses me. I feel like I’m just fucked up forever. Even my fiancé worries and doesn’t want to do that stuff in bed with me because he says I deserve better than that yet I still want it

No. 353906

>>353905
And to add to the horror, I can only get off to violence, torture and rape now. It’s been 10 years since this started

No. 353914

>>353885
I think you will be fine, having a family will take most of your mind power because you will be too busy to even pick up your phone, and it’s honestly a good thing.

No. 353917

>>353905
You’re not fucked up forever, acknowledging the fact that you’re seeking porn as a way of self-harm is a first step to take in order to stop looking for it.
It’s difficult to stop but it’s not impossible, having someone who cares about you is also great tbh. Have you tried going to therapy to deal with what happened back then? Maybe that way you could heal and stop looking for porn in general.

No. 354081

I was probably most addicted around 10-13 and developed some fantasies that aren't like dangerous/extreme but just dumb, specific, and nonsensical/unrealistic. I gradually weaned off and have stopped for years but I still have a vivid memory of videos I saw 10 years ago and I cannot get aroused unless I think of these specific things, which harms my real life sex life.
One thing that really confuses me is that the videos I saw would feature women, and I don't think I'm even into women. I'm in love with and dating a guy, have always wanted to date men, and have no interest in romance/sex with a woman, but it's like my mind associates sex with the women in those videos and I get instantly turned on if I think of them. As if they defined the idea of getting aroused. I'm not aroused by men OR women irl, it's literally just those specific porn niches in my mind that I don't even look at anymore.
Did I miswire my brain at a young age and end up permanently stuck? I don't get it, I know other people who were in deep but when they laid off the porn they went back to normal. I dunno if there was a normal for me. It's been years and I'm worried that I'll never have a normal response to the man I love. Is there anything I can do if I already stopped watching and my mind is still bent from it?

No. 354084

>>353906
>>353905
Quit cold turkey. If you cant get off to anything else, well then dont get off for a while. You dont have to cum to violent rape and remember, rape in porn is real rape of women so drugged up they can bear the pain, its not a need. Neither is orgasming for that matter. Go 3 months without violent sex or rape on tape and you'll be disturbed by it instead

No. 366837

I have decided to quit or try wean myself off. I would basically watch anything when I was young (or well read erotica of anything) and I feel like it skewed my perception of who I'm actually attracted to and what turns me on. I would get off on the fact it was sexual rather than anything else if that makes sense. In an effort to try understand my sexuality better I'm going to try to stick to my own fantasies.
Wish me luck nonas.

No. 385727

File: 1710701729438.jpeg (15.9 KB, 559x549, tired.jpeg)

Well, looks like I relapsed. I've been so proud of not lookin at hentai or real people shit for years straight. I don't even know why I watch them—the moids are hideous and the women go through fucked up scenarios… I don't even masturbate to yet I still get wet to it??? what does this mean?? it I just stare blankly at the screen and think "how did I get here" once it ends. Post-nut clarity hits me like a truck and I fucking hate it. I genuinely wish I was asexual—I don't want to be a slave to my coochie and fantasize about fucked-up scenarios I want to be pure again aaaAAAAAAAAAH.

No. 389019

I was exposed to porn at a really young age, and quickly developed sadomasochistic preferences. I have been trying to unlearn this and just be normal. I haven't been looking at porn, or at least trying not to. When I look at it, though, I touch myself without any thought or consideration for my sensations, but literally just to get off. I actually feel like a sick degenerate when I look at porn. I at least don't feel that way when I read vanilla erotica, but there's so much brain rot I have to heal from to fully enjoy it physically. And even with vanilla erotica, I find myself going on to look for more fucked up stuff.

No. 389025

>>389019
Is it IRL porn? Maybe find a medium before going straight to vanilla. Josei smut/ecchi might be that; inching towards even tamer stuff like shojo as well?

No. 390364

i have many porn- and sex-related struggles, and i identify a lot with the nonnas posting here. i'm going through a particular slog right now that i guess could be considered superficially humorous/silly but the fact that i'm married (newlywed) makes it a lot more serious and frustrating.

so i was the type of girl who had fictional crushes before i liked any moids IRL. there have been a handful of fictional characters i've gotten stuck on throughout my life, but 2 in particular more intense than the others. one when i was a dorky little middle schooler and then the second one is current. like, ongoing for a while. i think it started several months ago while i was in the midst of enjoying a particular tv series. i wasn't actively trying to invest myself in this character at the time, but after a bit i started to recognize the familiar feeling. idk if you're a husbandofag you know what i'm talking about, it's a weird breed of dull heartache. it's very frustrating just trying to wait it out. i know it will go away eventually, and i'll get over [redacted], but i'm not sure how long it will take. i stopped reading the manga/watching the show to facilitate the process of "recovery" (if you wanna call it that lol) but having been a porn addict prior, the porn has been a lot more difficult to stay away from… like. obviously i love my husband, but we've both previously struggled/are struggling (me) with porn and our sex life is kind of shitty because i'm not even sure we're that physically attracted to each other rn, and this thing with [redacted] definitely playing into my end… i'm just feeling hopeless right now… might go back to journalling so that whenever i start feeling those feelings i have a healthy outlet for them. even just writing this is a bit therapeutic so i think that might be a good place to start.

No. 390832

I feel so fucking disgusting. Even though I had managed to not watch porn for a long time, I would still get off to fantasies of the most fucked up shit, like I deserve to be put in the electric chair type shit. Recently I relapsed pretty bad. Fuck. Even though I haven't looked at any of the pictures I have saved in like a year, they're still there, I'm still hesitant to delete. But I'm fucking sick of this I feel so gross I'm getting rid of all this shit. Is there a way to reset my brain? I've been like this for so long. Why am I so fucked up.

No. 437395

My issue is lonliness I guess. I can't go a single day without watching anything. Most of the time I need it multiple times a day. I hate myself for it. I always tell myself I'll stop but I never seem to be able to pull through with it. I really yearn for intimacy with an actual person. Yet I hate the very idea of actually getting involved with someone. I hate myself, I feel ugly and undesirable even if moids tell me I'm pretty. I have no idea how to resolve this issue and I feel too ashamed to talk about it with my therapist or anyone I know. It's makes me feel as though I'm on the same level of a disgusting moid. I'm pathetic



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