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trauma, immense trauma from being touched by boys my age when i was a child.
Made me think for a long time that men are naturally evil from birth and that if i subjected myself to anything romantic/sexual with them it'd be painful and gross
Im bi so i just denied all attraction i felt towards men and told everyone i was a lesbian. had multiple girlfriends throughout highschool and college and thought everything would be fine. Last month my male coworker i had been ignoring asked me out and for some reason i didn't think about the trauma. I'm going on a date with him next week.
I've deleted my lesbian themed tumblr and pinterest and it feels like i betrayed every lesbian on earth. Im okay with being bi and I understand if every lesbian who reads this wants to kill me lol.
Bit ot but I remember as a teenager I would fantasize about sex from the viewpoint of me being someone with a penis… and I almost had this phantom limb feeling when I would wake up after a sex dream. For a while I questioned if it was gender dsyphoria but then over time I realized that most porn is shot in a way where the woman is the eye candy and large parts of scenes are POV from the mans perspective. You put yourself in the mans shoes when you watch it because… that's the way it's made.
I sometimes wonder how many women out there have gone through confusion over that or how many are categorising themsleves as some sort of tran because of it. It's crazy how much the way porn is shot can affect us if we view it young enough. Same with just women being the eye candy and the men in porn mostly being meh, having a belly or barely being shown. Your attention goes to the woman by default
I've never actually been attracted to a woman though, as in
I've never wanted to kiss or have sex or be in a relationship with one, I was just aroused by very sexualized depictions of them, before I even fully understood what sex was. I feel like if I still called myself bi because of this while having zero attraction to women currently I'd literally be the stereotypical fake bisexual girl
Rather than arousal via visual stimulation (which can simply be due to sex happening, just like >>196572
said), a better metric would be, do these people even imagine being with a woman or getting off to the idea of that? Otherwise I think they have just been conditioned to see women as sexual objects, which is definitely different than being attracted to them in itself
Gay men don't get brainwashed by tits and pussy. I guess the difference is every show and song is about a woman with a man, and girls are actively taught by the media that we should be attractive to men
Girls are trained to see women through men's eyes (as sexual objects) so girls eventually learn our own role in a relationship is a sexual object to please men. You could grow out of seeing other women's bodies as the objects because what you really wanted is to be the one desired by men. So it was really the male gaze turning you on. Like maybe you were just responding to what men think is sexy because seeing women act out men's desires and do things that are attractive to men is hot to you. It's similar to wanting to be desired by your boyfriend and doing things that "make you feel sexy", but that doesn't mean you want to fuck yourself
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I thought I liked women because people didn't explain that there is a difference between sexual attraction and just finding someone pretty in appeal. I think other women are great looking and I admire them for that. I am not sexually wanting women but somewhere down the line I got confused. I thought I only liked women because women are just nice to look at. Looking at men made me feel awkward though now I realize it is because I am heavily attracted to them. I was told that only time you find other girls pretty it is either because you are jealous or gay. This is not true and I was told this by men who know nothing. Anyone face similar experience?
The version of homophobia where bihets call themselves Ex Lesbians after realising they can't live without men and pass it off as self-awareness is still homophobia nonita. OP says the thread's against conversion therapy but >>196502
wasn't banned because everyone is busy agreeing with her…
The lesbian gen freaks out when anons talk about hot men or watching gay porn and revokes their lesbian card though so it depends who you ask. Liking men is just taken more seriously. That's why women get a pass from their boyfriends for sleeping with other women…>>196704
The entire discussion that followed is fellow Ex Lesbians agreeing with her hot take but go off!
>>196718>It's an ex-lesbian thread, what did you expect?
Calling yourself an Ex Lesbian is homophobic given it feeds into the idea lesbians can be converted by men - confusion over your identity doesn't mean you were a lesbian and no longer are, so the thread title was a terrible idea begging for someone to ask how to unlearn their sexuality. Holy shit!
>Personally I think it's a-ok to be a lesbian fujo. I'm a straight, I love yuri, and hot women can make me horny, but I don't enjoy fucking real women and can never force myself to enjoy it because I'm just not a lesbian.
Just so you know, bisexuals who only date women are called febfems - lesbians aren't aroused by men. Not wanting to act on sexual attraction to the same sex doesn't cancel out its existence in you or the fact it's not heterosexual, does it? I seriously don't see how you're even an Ex Lesbian if you still feel this way, seek out lesbian content and are turned on by hot women, since other anons at least mentioned outgrowing it after puberty. The Kinsey scale exists for a reason…
Telling that anon you agree with the reasoning behind why they want to unlearn their bisexuality to be straight is homophobic.
Unlike childhood, sexual orientation is permanent and can't be changed. Your confusion misled you to believe you were a lesbian. It doesn't mean you really were one, so calling yourself Ex Lesbian implies actual lesbians can be converted out of their orientation by men. Conversion therapy and corrective rape are serious issues because of the logic you're using. Not wanting to acknowledge your same sex attraction anymore and identifying as straight has nothing to do with lesbians, so you really should leave them out of it.
I think ppl sperg out when you mention your view of your sexuality changing because gays had to use 'born this way' to resist conversation therapy shit.
Conversion therapy is obviously wrong but it wouldn't exist if it didn't work atleast some of the time. Someone can confuse and manipulate someone's sexuality through trauma. Like how men have meme'd piv into being the norm, even though most women don't orgasm just from piv. They changed the narrative to fit their own needs.
I don't think talking about this stuff is pro conversion or whatever, women's sexuality is so twisted by socialization and media and men that it's very difficult to know what you actually want and what has been brainwashed into you.
For what it's worth OP you could've named the thread Fake Lesbians, god.>>196744
The fact women still turn you on isn't heterosexuality anywhere in the world. You're acting on your desires by searching lesbian content and imagining hot women to masturbate to because they make you horny. Bisexuals like men and women at different times with different intensities you know. You weren't a lesbian back then, you said you were confused and misunderstood your sexuality while fucking women, so calling yourself an Ex Lesbian is inbred IQ nonsense - you're just someone who finally understands she never was one but doesn't want to identify as bisexual because of a preference, so we're left with this cope.
Do you see how stupid it'd sound if lesbians went around calling themselves ex-heterosexuals.
It's okay to realize you were wrong about your sexuality but intentionally calling yourself an ex lesbian is retarded and obviously intentionally inflammatory.
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>This thread is does NOT approve of conversion therapy.
>Conversion therapy is obviously wrong but it wouldn't exist if it didn't work atleast some of the time.
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>>196762>Conversion therapy is obviously wrong but it wouldn't exist if it didn't work atleast some of the time.
NTA, but the only reason it exists is because people will always think homosexuality is bad in some way and no, it has never worked. Any "successful" case is either someone who can live without real love and sex and is in extreme denial or the person is bisexual.
There's no such thing as changing sexual orientation.
Bi-cycling is common and a real thing though.
Bi-cycling is common and a real thing though.
Bi-cycling is common and a real thing though.
This concept that bisexuals are ashamed of but created for themselves needs to be said more often. It is real, it happens, you just realized.
That's literally what I said in >>196753
it works because of the manipulation and trauma inflicted.
Ppl on here literally said they thought they were lesbian bc of the sexualization of women in media.
This is no true Scotsman stuff. Stop sperging out, no one here's saying that lesbians should be conversioned.
I AGREE SO MUCH WITH YOU!
People like me and you who used to date and fuck women but have no intention to do so, we also had homophobic experiences growing up. But then if we start dating men, any men, and only want to date men even if we have attraction to women, we're called liars, fakers, etc. It doesn't matter if we're bisexual and that's what bisexuality is. People just think we're one of those """mean hetties"""
Legit question. You want to silecne women on this thread and their experiences growing up thinking they were fully homosexual.
What other name or word do you suggest for a thread like this, then?
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If you don't like the name of the thread, stop complaining and hide the thread. This goes for everyone.
When bisexual girls on here talk about their experiences growing up as only liking girls and the homophobia they faced they are bashed on.
If you are a lesbian go cry to the lesbian thread and leave the people on this thread alone.
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Everyone complaining in this thread and ignoring OP's description is literally this picture. No one is saying "kill lesbians" for gods sake
New thread >>196817
Now shut up.
Media does affect us deeply, to the extent that it shapes our dreams. Before color television was a thing, people dreamnt in black and white, like the images they saw on their TV.https://commonplacefacts.com/2020/06/03/the-colorful-connection-between-television-and-black-and-white-dreams/
(sage for OT)
>>196734> it feeds into the idea lesbians can be converted by men
Nobody is “feeding into” any idea by using a term you don’t like. This isn’t twitter. We’re sentient human beings capable of conveying meaning through dialogue. If nobody is saying that lesbians can be converted by men, they aren’t saying it.
> Just so you know, bisexuals who only date women are called febfems
Maybe if you paid more attention to what people actually mean instead of being pedantic about jargon you people wouldn’t be so defensive all the time.
it's going to sound dumb but I thought I was a lesbian for most of my life but never dated because my family are brown, conservative, and horrible about gay people and I don't want to get kicked out or disowned so I just spent my late teens/early twenties last year being alone and miserable.
last year I bi-cycled. my feelings towards men were repulsion, then it faded down to neutral, then eventually it turned to curiosity, so now I've realised I'm bi.
I want to start dating men, but I'm afraid because I have no experience and people will find it weird that I'm still a virgin who's never been in a relationship, and if I tell them I thought I was gay but couldn't date because of homophobic family, they'll just try to use me as part of their lesbian fantasy. I'm also afraid of someone treating me nice just to take my virginity and then ghost me.
plus my family is still a problem. obviously not as much as if I'd been a lesbian and my only chance at love was with women, but even though my mother is always talking about how much she wants me to meet a man and give her grandkids, in reality she hates me having anyone close in my life that's not her. she used to absolutely lose her mind whenever she thought I liked boys as a teenager (like the time she went off one because I doodled hearts on a copybook as a teenager and she got the idea it must mean I have a crush on a boy), and she doesn't even really like me having friends. anytime I go out she's always demanding to know where I'm going and why even though I'm an adult. if i ask her why i have to explain myself whenever i want to have a life she just says because "she's my mother." i only go out a couple of times a month with a girl i've known since I was 12, and we only go to the cinema or to Starbucks or to restaurants and never stay out late. I'm never going to pull off spending the night with someone without coming home the next morning to find out my mother has packed my shit up and put it on the sidewalk. I'm going to be a femcel until I can afford to move out.
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imagine what it must do to a little child to learn that abrasiveness, toughness, emotion-numbness are the tickets to success
sage for irrelevant but this post really resonated, it's like you captured exactly how i feel about with men. it's like i've conditioned myself.
do you have any tips for getting out of it or anything that helped you nonna?
Lets first start with how did I know I was a lesbian, I've always kind of fancied women, even at the tender age of 10. I would be confused as to why I wasnt crushing on the men in my life only to find out that… oh I must be gay.
And so, years went by, I came out to everyone around me, experienced the routine hardships that comes with uncertain acceptance from my Family or Friends. I dated many women, and of course, slept with them. I was happy with the women, but I still felt like I've been lying to myself.
I felt guilty when I flicked the bean to straight porn or men, and I was conflicted.
My ex of 6 years was probably the turning point. Everything that happened with her felt like a fever dream, we went to places, we fell in love, and then we fell out of love and I was tired. I was frustrated. While still with her, I had visited family in a certain country, there I let my desires take the better of me and I cheated- with a man.
It was raw, visceral and even though he was a terrible lay, I knew that I could no longer be a lesbian. As if the universe knew, I had returned to find that she doesnt love me anymore. Great, I didnt have to break it to her and she never knew.
Fast-forward a couple months, and I am now dating a trans-woman. I don't know how I ended up here, but being stuck in a box that you thought you believed was made for you really fucking sucks.
Copypasting from the questioning sexuality thread-
I thought I was a lesbian until recently, I’ve never been attracted to a man irl nor have I ever had any romantic or sexual experience with a male, but this year I started being attracted to several male actors out of nowhere. No offense but I’m actually overjoyed, I hated being a lesbian and my family was extremely homophobic towards me so this actually improved my mental health significantly. When I was younger, I kept being told by therapists and psychologists that I was just so severely traumatized that I was repressing my attraction to males, I thought they were just being homophobic (and to a certain extent I’m sure they were of course) but I think they were technically right. Once I healed more from everything I went through as a child I started experiencing attraction to those actors. I’m probably never going to act on my attraction since I hate men and I’ve still never been attracted to a man in person, but at least I know I’m bi now and don’t have to hate myself anymore. I’m less suicidal now because of it.
I’m concerned about “coming out” as bi now though, I hate myself for being part of the stereotype of a traumatized bi woman thinking she’s a lesbian. In my defense, it really wasn’t my fault, I didn’t experience attraction to males for most of my life and felt repulsed by them and the thought of anything sexual or romantic with them. Most people irl didn’t know I was same sex attracted since I don’t bring it up unless someone asks, so hopefully it won’t be that bad.
t.jealous lonely lesbian
you’re basically unable to ever even find a partner and you know it