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File: 1636127066379.jpg (5.22 MB, 4391x2732, mother with baby.jpg)

No. 212315

Discuss family planning, birth, pregnancy, conception, fertility, and any other baby-related topic in this thread. Old thread >>49996 hit bump limit.

No. 212320

Ah fuck. I have baby fever so bad right now curse this cute ass photo.
I’m not ready to be a mom, but I want to one day.

No. 212336

If being a mom is important to you, talk to any potential partners about if they want kids, as well as when. I wish I'd talked to my husband about how long to wait before trying, because we didn't quite see eye to eye.

No. 212347

I'm fascinated by babies and children. My SO wants kids and so do I but we're both still trying to get our lives together so everything is stable. I wouldn't mind adopting either but I'm always worried about how the kid will turn out. Sometimes you can do everything right and something can still go wrong.

No. 212348

Not ready for a baby yet but still love browsing 'mummy blogs' even though most are annoying as hell kek.

No. 212375

When did you talk about it and how did you differ?

No. 212376

I don’t want a kid but my fiancé does. I told him I love him too much and we agreed on only one kid. I just don’t see myself being happy and glad when they will be 18 but at least I will be a SAHM. I know I’ll love my kid but not be obsessed

No. 212384

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Sorry in advance if venting isn't allowed, I just don't want to get made fun of so I figured I could post here.

I am having the worst baby fever of my life right now. I'm still young and there's no fertility issues in my family so I'm probably fine, but I have been having dreams every other night that I have a sweet new born baby girl. At work, I heard a baby laugh and I wanted to cry. For most of my child hood, I didn't want kids, and I understand and have witnessed the difficulties that mothers face in child rearing, but I genuinely enjoy babies and children so much and would love the opportunity to raise one now.

It's just all I can think about these days, nonnas.

No. 212465

File: 1636250652108.jpg (25.93 KB, 640x640, 1632780254960.jpg)

How do you guys feel about fetal microchimerism?

No. 212468

how old are you? or when did you stop NOT wanting a baby?

No. 212480

mid twenties, stopped around 20, just chilled out a little with my rebellious "I'll never have kids ever!!!1" phase. Would love to have two or three someday

No. 212492

can you explain what this is? I looked it up but I don't quite understand

No. 212495

when you get pregnant with a boy you get male cells in your brain

No. 212596

I'm turning 28 and me and my husband only just decided that we'd like to have a baby together. I never really thought I was mom material until the last year or so. I think having such a great relationship really showed me that it would be possible to have a happy family instead of the dumpster fire that was my childhood. I'm panicking though, because I never thought I would have kids and I am 0% prepared. I don't know anything about childcare etc and I feel like my biological clock is imploding. Anyone else in a similar position?

No. 212618

I’m 27, in the best relationship of my life, and worrying I’m running out of time. My bf and I are both poor so idk when we’re gonna be established enough to start a family. I worry constantly about fertility issues down the road and sometimes wish I could just get accidentally knocked up now and hope we’d figure it out. I know that’s irresponsible so I don’t really wish it, but my baby fever brain does lol

If you guys are in a good place to start trying, I wish you the best of luck. I think one of the most important things is that kids have parents who have a healthy relationship and love each other. So by the sounds of it, I think you’ll do fine.

No. 212624

File: 1636343922538.jpg (66.22 KB, 707x547, oil-painting-baby-mother.jpg)

How soon is "soon" and how young is "young." I would have liked to have our first child two years ago, we are trying in four months. He knew I wanted kids (he wants them too), and we talked openly and frequently about that, but thought my impatience was a bit different. He did not realize until very recently I thought I would have had a child by now. I know his concerns are largely about providing, and that things will not be as easy and selfish once we have a kid. I wish I had better communicated that I didn't want to be waiting so long, instead of just that it was hard. For his part he's worked very hard to achieve certain financial goals so I can be a SAHM and did make sure we moved into a place where we could have a whole separate room for a nursery. It's been so hard watching people accidentally get pregnant and have beautiful babies, and here I am just waiting.
I worry about fertility. I'll be 27 when we try and my husband thinks it'll happen right away. It happened on the first month for our friends, and then a lot of people we know had accidental pregnancies and just went with it, so he really doesn't realize it takes plenty of couples a whole year.

No. 212635

i want to have kids one day but im scared to give birth. i feel like it will hurt too much

No. 212862

I (26) gave birth to my first child (daughter) 4 months ago. I never really thought I wanted kids until something hit me in my early 20s and all I could think about was babies.

I had an exhausting labor. Contractions are such an intense, unique pain. Your mind really does go blank and all you can focus on is PAIN. I ended up getting epidural because I couldn’t handle it lmao. I was in labor for 26 fucking hours and 6 of those were spent actively pushing. Apparently that’s not normal? All the nurses said it was the longest delivery they participated in and every mom I’ve talked to is like “wow haha I pushed 3 times and my baby popped out!!” ..cool.

I was honestly terrified of becoming a mother and was worried I wasn’t mature enough or ready to handle it but I feel like my brain has autopiloted a lot of it. Instinctual.
The first month is absolutely brutal though and you need a good support system and some serious perseverance to survive it.

No. 213017

I'm in the process of a miscarriage with my first pregnancy at 9 weeks and nobody tells you how long and brutal the process is if you don't get the surgery. I've been bleeding, cramping, passing things, and going through contractions for weeks. This was a wanted baby but I got pregnant on our first try. I just turned 29, I think I need some time to let my body heal before we try again. I had no clue how common blighted ovum miscarriages were in the first trimester. Ladies, don't start this journey without knowing about these first. I wish I knew.

No. 213039

Anon I'm so sorry, that's rough. I hope you heal and have a good support network, that sucks.

No. 213064

I was in the exact same boat with my first pregnancy. It was wanted and on my second check up (around the same time as you) it was clear that the fetus had stopped growing. Abortion is a huge process and the pill is illegal where I live, so when the cramping started I just waited it out over the course of a couple days. Looking into the toilet and being able to see the eye spot was a really bizarre, crushing feeling that I don’t know if I could properly explain to anyone who hasn’t gone through it.

I’m wishing you well on your recovery and hope that your next try goes as you hope. I waited about half a year before trying again and luckily it was as easy as the first time. Everything went well, and my baby arrived on time and healthy. Good luck, nonnie!

No. 213098

Thank you so much, girls. I really needed this going into today.

No. 213218

Nothingto say, just sending you love and support, nonnie.

No. 213235

To any women in this thread in stable relationships who are afraid that they're "not ready" to have children. I just want you to know that there are people right now on their 3rd kid who are way less mature and thoughtful than you are. Your female ancestors had kids and they didn't fret about their "maturity" or if they would "do everything right" they had their babies and they did their best.

I hope I'm not sounding like a tradwaifu but the most important thing to remember that one of the biggest qualities that makes a good mother is the desire to be a mother and a unconditional love for their child. having children when you're "poor" the first world sense may not be easy, and it wont always be fun or idyllic but you absolutely CAN do it.

money and materialism is less important for babies development than you think. you and your partner being loving and stable parents and basic needs are really what matters the most.

If you and your partner both want kids and are stable enough. consider taking the plunge. women before us were great mothers than less. your emotional stability is more important than if you can afford $300 strollers

No. 213236

women before us were great mothers WITH less

No. 213258

Are there any women in here in same-sex relationships who had a baby with a sperm donor/from a sperm bank? My fiancée who will be having the baby wants to find a donor who's an ethnic match to me, but as I'm a mixed Arab I don't think we'll find one. I don't mind though, honestly. My main thing with a donor is that he doesn't smoke and is healthy. I'm not worried about the baby being a perfect mix of our races but my fiancée is quite adamant about it. She feels like she's disrespecting me if she picks a donor who isn't like me and I feel like I'm disrespecting her wishes if I push too hard on this. I just don't know what to say to her anymore, I feel like we're wasting precious time waiting for Mr. Right to jack off in a cup at the sperm bank. I'd rather find a healthy donor and move forward with our lives.

No. 213275

Yeah it's gotten to the point where I realize that there's never going to be a "right" moment to start trying. By the time we'll be fully stable and have a lot of money, we'll have passed the ideal child-bearing age. Like one anon said, I honestly sometimes just want to have an oops baby to get the planning over with, haha.

No. 213280

The main issue that I've seen friends go through wasn't even money (they usually expect that to be their biggest shortcoming) but no matter how stable they thought their relationship was, it's surprisingly hard to know which men will walk out when the baby is like 10 months old even when you've dated for the 10 years previous and walked down the aisle. I've just seen that on repeat. All my friends with kids have slowly had their bubble burst in that way.

Money wise I'm in a country where nobody, especially those with kids will ever starve or go without essentials. It's funny how much money rarely is the biggest cause of tears or stress lines or sleepless nights in the end.. it's dad. But no amount of time spent waiting before conceiving ever seems to give you a clue that he'll walk within a year of dad life.

No. 213320

This. My husbands side kept shaming us for having kids in our early 20s because we were "supposed" to get our careers together THEN have kids in our early to mid 30s. These same people spent thousands on IVF because they waited too long to have kids, and are trying to adopt a young child well into their 40s as well as other members in his family raising teenagers in their 60s and probably will die before meeting their grandkids or see other life milestones if the whole "wait forever to get married and have kids" cycle continues

emotion stability is more important and having your kids at the right age. I'd rather budget than to die before ever meeting my grandchildren and have to raise deal with raising high schoolers in my 50s

No. 213323

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>These same people spent thousands on IVF because they waited too long to have kids, and are trying to adopt a young child well into their 40s as well as other members in his family raising teenagers in their 60s and probably will die before meeting their grandkids or see other life milestones
God I'm so terrified that this will be my future. I'm turning 26 tomorrow and I just want kids already. I wanted them yesterday.

No. 213339

You can be young and still have shit fertility. Happened to me, after all the testing and everything my doc told me it would've been a miracle if I had gotten pregnant naturally with my husband.
What's keeping you from having kids now?

No. 213342

Early to late 30's isn't nowhere near "too late" to have kids though. Shaming you for your choices isn't right but the advice of working on your carreer before having kids isn't a bad one at all. Especially as a woman.

No. 213353

Financial stability is one of the biggest indicators for how well a childs life will turn out, lol.

No. 213354

Nta but they have a point too, being born to older parents has its issues. I had one dead parent and one aging parent before I could start my own adult years. I don't see myself ever having kids as a result of the knock on effect of having one dead parent and one grieving/aging and lacking parent. Same goes for my brother. The genes end here because there was never a sense of family to start with. I kinda do resent my family circumstances and.. daily. I see other families.. alive and intact and able to do things together and it's a stab in the gut sometimes. I've never vocalised that to anyone but it sucks and affects you for life.

A combination of things matter, money is definitely one, age and health matter too. Of course anyone can get sick without notice but it helps not to wait til you're in your 40s. I've also seen people in their 40s have one autistic kid after another aswell.. that's a risk factor that increases with age and the combo of being old and your child having extra demands is a shitshow of a situation. All those things matter. It's not one or the other.. everything has it's importance. I feel for people who are just trying to decide the best time to start, and trying to weigh up age versus income. It's a blaance.

No. 213362

My mom was in her early 40s when she had me and she's doing fine. My dad was younger (late 30s) and he's also doing fine. No issues conceiving for my mother and she never had issues "keeping up" with me.

People love to put pressure on the woman when it's the man's dusty old sperm that's mostly to blame for genetic defects and trouble conceiving, and if your parents eat like shit and don't exercise it doesn't matter if they're early 30s or early 40s, they won't be able to "keep up with teenagers" either way. If you're going to go off anecdotal evidence, it's worth not basing your decisions around Midwest Americans who age faster and hit puberty earlier.

No. 213365

>If you're going to go off anecdotal evidence, it's worth not basing your decisions around Midwest Americans who age faster and hit puberty earlier
Who was talking about midwest americans?

No. 213377

I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that nonnie. But it sounds like you were able to successfully have kids? For me, I'm still living at home and am just now finishing school, and my boyfriend is not really anywhere further along than I am.

No. 213381

Nobody from a normal country would worry about late 30s being too old to have kids because the majority of people in most places I've lived have theirs around then.

No. 213382

I'm >>213354 and I wasn't saying anything about people in their late 30s. My parents started having kids in their 40s and I was born last when they were 50. That's the age range I was speaking of. I'm not from anywhere near the US either.

No. 213408

Maybe from the adults perspective definitely not from the kids perspective. I know this idea is often associated with incels and tradthots who hate women but 35+ is considered a geriatric pregnancy and being old increases risks of a lot of things. No one should have to be 18 and worried about their parents aging

No. 213409

Not one bit. I worked with kids most of my life and some of the most spoilt, aggressive, asshole little kids were from rich parents or upper middle class who never had time to raise them because they both had to hold a job and throw their kids to childcare workers (which has been proven to be shitty for children's development…daycare kids are often awful and suspectable to abuse). Meanwhile poor kids were often hardworking and well mannered if the family was stable. Stability will always trump how rich someone is especially with a million programs in most areas that assure every child gets childcare, food, clothes, toys, etc

No. 213410

No one is saying men aren't causing problems and that it's all womens fault, we're saying just to be smart about what age you have kids and not to put too much emphasizes on money more than you do emotional and relationship stability

Here's some physical risks

and no, just because your mom supposedly had no complications doesn't mean all women should just wait until they're 40 to have kids, it's just statistically more likely to cause a bunch of issues to development. 35 and older pregnancies are considered geriatric and 40 and over are considered high-risk. 55 is the minimum age to get admitted to most nursing homes, your bones start deteriorating in their 40s. In fact it's considered irresponsible to let senior dogs (6 yrs old>) get pregnant due to the risks, why does this suddenly not apply to humans? I'm sure plenty of dogs have had successful litters past 6

>inb4 muh americans only do this!!

only a handful of countries have life expectancies past 80. the world average is 73 years old meaning you'll most likely die before meeting your grandkids and grandparents can benefits children a lot including helping the children become more empathetic and intelligent

anyway - saying "well I know people who didn't!" doesn't change the risks with older pregnancy, the risks with not having grandparents in a kids life, and the aging that will inevitably happen and the risks that come with it and what you will be possibly imposing on your children. Don't be upset at the natural lifecycles of humans and certainly don't bring life into the world who are going to be forced to be your personal caregiver in their 30s-40s when they are supposedly supposed to be the ones having kids and getting their own family together. This system just does not work

No. 213413

You really posted all this like it's brand new information and society hasn't been drilling it into our heads our entire lives, telling us we better hurry up and settle asap or end up old and alone because 30+ women are worthless and have no eggs blah blah. Anons are balancing the conversation by suggesting that maybe the risks of ~geriatric pregnancies~ are overstated and issues with male fertility are understated. Most sensible people aim to have kids in their 30s if circumstance allows, but they can also acknowledge that we don't fall off a fertility cliff at any specific age and, despite the risks of being older, it's not a death sentence you should let dictate your life path.

No. 213417

If they knew this they wouldn't try to encourage women to have kids older and older. It's obviously not drilled into peoples heads enough if everyone is having kids in their 40s and wondering why they're miserable. Mens declining fertility needs to be acknowledged more but this doesn't make women have magic fertility powers past their 40s. I feel like gen x and y often have an ongoing superhuman complex that makes them immune to normal human aging

No. 213423

>everyone is having kids in their 40s and wondering why they're miserable
Except they're not?? Average age for first time mothers in the US is 30 (educated/married) or early 20s (no degree/unmarried). Your fear mongering is unwarranted and condescending. I promise you literally every woman knows 40 is not ideal for having kids, but for some it may be slightly more ideal than having kids while poor and unstable.

No. 213446

>we better hurry up and settle asap or end up old and alone because 30+ women are worthless and have no eggs blah blah
Nta but I really think you're taking the shitty words of scrotes and imagining that anons on here must be coming from the same place as them when they're just not. If anons on here have parents who are dead or who were aging from the time they were born and they think it's valid to question whether that's right or ideal or fair then that has nothing to do with scrotes and their weird cope that women lose value at 30. Nobody here is saying any of that.

No. 213451

File: 1637075880941.jpg (96.02 KB, 1024x703, fuzzy jacket baby.jpg)

Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your experience. It's helpful to hear from people who didn't sneeze the baby out or need an emergency c-section. So often you only hear about extremes.
How much help would you say you need in the beginning? My husband works for a small company with 2 weeks PTO/year (no saving it up) but he works from home. Do you need round the clock help at first?
>$300 strollers
You sound young. Love is important, but it does not pay for braces. Yeah, there will be no perfect time, but if a $300 stroller is out of range, you are going to be shocked when it comes to diapers. Stability is actually pretty hard to achieve these days. The time of any average guy working an average job and owning a house and having a stay at home wife and three kids is over.
You should tell her what you wrote here. It sounds like you both hold one another in very high regard.
>if your parents eat like shit and don't exercise it doesn't matter if they're early 30s or early 40s, they won't be able to "keep up with teenagers" either way.
This. My husband's mom is the same age as mine, but she's had to knee replacements, heart attacks, and takes a bunch of prescriptions. My mom still takes long hikes and has many years ahead of her.

No. 213488

You sound like a scrote.

No. 213498

>You sound young. Love is important, but it does not pay for braces.
Spotted the American. Braces doesn't benefit your health whatsoever other than cosmetically and braces in other countries are very cheap
plenty of options, reusable diapers, diaper banks, on top of that diapers cost less than 20 a week on average. Very easy to budget out if you're legitimately broke but easy for someone up is middle or lower middle class to buy. Stability is hard because people are encouraged to overspend. You don't want that 18 yr old toyota your mom gave you with 50/month insurance you want a bmw with 5 times the insurance, you don't want that 4-bedroom house in countrycornfalls midwest for a 400 a month mortgage, no HOA and barely any property tax, you want to go move to some expensive suburb or urban area, you don't want to stay in and go camping every few months or so you want to go get a bougie hotel on the beach or in the mountains and go to expensive theme parks. It's extremely easy to budget and survive on an average wage it's just that's not what people want due to hype culture having everyone believe they "need" things that are completely unnecessary. The fact you mentioned braces as the first thing you think of as a priority proves that

No. 213499

US women are often miserable though. Every mom I met who started having kids in her late 30s is often depressed, unhealthy, and is always being seen screaming at her kids. 30 is fine but when you're getting near your 40s it's not a good time to start having kids.
thinking about how your aging will effect your child and family in the future=/= sounding like a scrote

No. 213520

>Braces doesn't benefit your health whatsoever other than cosmetically
Are you retarded?? Fucking hell, please don't have kids if you're not going to get them the orthodontic treatment they might need thinking it's all ~cosmetic~. It's not, and it is extremely important to take care of your teeth including braces if necessary.

You sound insanely naive about money and healthcare and I'm not American so don't use that as a gotcha. Poor people are the ones having plenty of children at a young age, they're doing exactly what you want and guess what - their outcomes are shitty. That's how life works.

No. 213530

The first few weeks are so insanely brutal. You’re not only recovering from birthing a whole baby, but now your life exists in 2 hour chunks. Baby wakes up, needs changing, needs feeding, gets put to sleep (maybe) and then you get to decide how you want to spend the 30min-1hr left before it repeats. Do you sleep? Do you eat? Do you shower?
You become so sleep deprived so fast. Dangerously sleep deprived. Like blink your eyes and you accidentally fall asleep sleep deprived.
On top of that you might have a fussy baby that screams and cries a lot or one that doesn’t sleep well or doesn’t eat well and it’s just…so stressful lmao. Your hormones are crashing, you’re suddenly responsible for a human life, you aren’t sleeping, you barely have time to eat more than a protein bar, good luck finding enough time to shower or brush your teeth or have any sort of hygiene at all. It’s rough.
And if you decide to breastfeed, we’ll, that’s a whole other beast to conquer.

Imo it’s really important to have a SO or parent to help you during this time. I don’t know what I would have done without my husband and mother there to support me.
Single mothers/fathers that had to do this alone have my sincerest respect after learning myself what comes with having a baby.

No. 213542

If speaking, chewing and breathing is fine braces aren't needed, which most people do not have issues with. Don't pretend like most kids with braces absolutely needed them. Statistically speaking most people don't NEED them but it's normalized in america even over the slightest overbite. Do you think other countries where throwing your child into painful braces in their teens when they're having no issues is also child neglect?
> they're doing exactly what you want and guess what - their outcomes are shitty. That's how life works.
Can you provide examples?

No. 213561

> and if your parents eat like shit and don't exercise it doesn't matter if they're early 30s or early 40s, they won't be able to "keep up with teenagers" either way.

Even then, it’s not a huge deal. Humans are surprisingly resilient even if they are overweight or have health problems. My parents aren’t the pinnacle of health or fitness but they kept up with me and my siblings fine, and teenagers are able to take care of themselves, they don’t need their parents to entertain them like a toddler would.

No. 213577

How long is average hospital stay after a normal, vaginal birth in your country?

Where I live, the average time is 5-7 days (double that for caesarian). I was incredibly grateful for the nurses checking up on me throughout the first few nights, checking the baby, helping me breastfeed, and then taking the baby to the nursery for a few hours to let me sleep if I looked tired. I feel like this level of care is extremely important to a woman's well being after something as serious as childbirth. But when I found out that American women get kicked out ASAP I was shocked (sort of, I guess you gals would pay a small fortune for more than the absolute minimum amount of time and care). It honestly seems cruel and unusual. If I had to do this, I think I'd have had some sort of stress breakdown from hyperfixating and worrying if everything was medically ok or not.

I was curious which type of care is closer to the norm in other places, since I don't know mothers around my age from anywhere else.

No. 213582

Im a burger. A complicated c section can keep a woman in the hospital for 3-4 days, but natural births are usually discharged from the hospital in 48 hours or less

No. 213585

I was discharged after 2 days. I got similar care as you, though. Lots of nurses to help, offered to take baby for a couple hours so I could sleep, 4 different lactation consultants came to help offer breastfeeding advice.
Afaik most other countries allow women to stay 4-7 days. America just seems to really disregard women.

No. 213588

>Imo it’s really important to have a SO or parent to help you during this time. I don’t know what I would have done without my husband and mother there to support me.
Thanks. We'll be sure to budget PTO accordingly.
>Spotted the American.
Yes. What about insurance? Maybe it's not necessary in your country, great for you. But in the US, you do need it, and it's expensive.
>plenty of options, reusable diapers,
If you have an in-unit washer and dryer
>diaper banks,
Planning to live on charity is a bad plan, and it's not stability
>on top of that diapers cost less than 20 a week on average.
Maybe where you live
>easy for someone up is middle or lower middle class to buy
How about childcare? Either someone is staying home and you lose their income, or you're paying someone else to watch your kid.
>You don't want that 18 yr old toyota your mom gave you with 50/month insurance
Who is paying $50 a month for insurance? Does your mom have a used car she can gift me?
>you don't want that 4-bedroom house in countrycornfalls midwest for a 400 a month mortgage
Show me this 4 bedroom house on zillow, because rural housing stock isn't as cheap as it used to be, and all the people I know who just bought houses had to offer way above asking price. Additionally, cheap places are cheap because the nearby jobs are low wage
>you want to go get a bougie hotel on the beach or in the mountains and go to expensive theme parks
You are now simply projecting.
Look, people do wait a long time for kids, but stability is much harder to provide than I think you realize. I'm rather certain your mom and dad still pay for at least some of your living expenses, or that you are using government assistance. Some people do manage to provide a stable life with very little money by homesteading or what have you, but most low-income families end up providing sub par childhoods for their children. I'm guessing you have no idea what it's like for a family to struggle to afford taking their kid to a doctor. I think you believe people are fretting about budgeting for a European vacation, new car, and designer clothes, but that's not the case. People worry about health insurance, childcare, stable housing, any transportation at all, a reasonable schooling situation, and an employment situation that gives them more than six unpaid weeks to recover from birth.

No. 213595

>I think you believe people are fretting about budgeting for a European vacation, new car, and designer clothes, but that's not the case. People worry about health insurance, childcare, stable housing, any transportation at all, a reasonable schooling situation, and an employment situation that gives them more than six unpaid weeks to recover from birth.
I've just been watching the discussion about about how much it costs to raise a child, but you said it really well. The diaper banks part was…bizarre lol.

No. 213640

I found all of this info with simple Google searched. The average reported price of diapers is 900/yrs, that's literally under 20 dollars a week. I searched houses on Zillow and priced them low to high and looked at them well to make sure they obviously weren't fucked up and found plenty that were under 600/month in mortgage, trailers are also a thing too. If you can't figure out how to raise a child on one average income you really need to think outside of the box. As for charities they're literally there to help you

The average American income is 30k, meaning about 2500 a month (and I'm rounding down on these statistics btw) which isn't hard at all to budget for rent, car insurance, tax, baby needs, groceries etc if you aren't a complete retard with your money

I got this from following a fuck ton of Americans on Snapchat and Instagram. So many of them I know for fact work in fast food or retail yet are always going in expensive vacations, buying loads of new clothes and perfumes, going out to eat every night, go to the nail salon every week, etc. Don't pretend like there's an issue among American poor people spending a ton of money on things they absolutely do not need
>Inb4 "well it's just a few!". Sure, I'm not saying literally all poor people do this but seriously, I shouldn't be able to walk into Walmart and the cashier's have 300 dollar shoes, 5k worth of jewelry, a 200 dollar eyelash extension job, and nails that cost 40 dollars a week to maintain with a 1k cell phone bragging about how they're going to take an 1k dollar vacation to California and don't even try to lie and say that doesn't happen because I've lived in America for 3 years and it sure fucking does. Americans are notoriously horrible with money. I'm considered upper middle class and I wouldn't even think of blowing my money on the types of things I always see poor people get

No. 213658

I'm the second anon and I'm not really sure why you quoted me, but the diaper banks thing is still dumb. If you can't afford children without banks then don't plan to have them.

No. 213666

Diaper banks exist to help people. Obviously if you HAVE to make constant trips don't have them but some people often find themselves financially fucked regardless of how well off they are. That being said young doesn't always mean poor, and there's plenty of people who are poor well into their 30s and 40s and have to go to diaper banks. I'm just saying this as an example if for whatever reason one isn't able to afford diapers. After research however most young people can easily afford diapers if they aren't completely dumb with their finances. Being older doesn't magically get you money or give you magical powers, and on top of that if you're young and able to finance a kid then why not have them? Also who's the say that the main consumers of diaper banks are women in their late 30s? I don't see how you believe "don't have kids at ages that increase complications and that will leave you in geriatric care when your kids are supposed to be starting their own lives" translates to "just have kids as young as possible no matter how broke you are just because". All because I pointed out the fact diaper banks exist. Do you just want to shut them all down because you think they're stupid apparently?

No. 213668

Instagram influencers aren't representative of average people at all.

No. 213671

Yes… That's why I gave examples of average people I know

No. 213673

Nta but most people aren’t dumb thots who work at walmart either lol. You sound seriously young, thinking that it’s a great idea to have a baby when you can barely pay for the basics (to say nothing of saving for college or extracurricular activities) is delusional.

No. 213674

Yeah poor people like this generally don't worry about affording kids. It's people who are careful with their money who have these concerns.

No. 213676

>The average American income is 30k, meaning about 2500 a month (and I'm rounding down on these statistics btw) which isn't hard at all to budget for rent, car insurance, tax, baby needs, groceries etc if you aren't a complete retard with your money

Yeah assuming the person has no credit card or school debt, or media debt, plus has a really good insurance plan through their job (assuming their job provides insurance), also factor in gas money, car payments and insurance, and all the little emergency costs that make up life. It is very difficult to raise a child on $30k a year (which depending on where you live, is $25k or less after tax, social security etc is taken out)

Just scraping by with barely enough isnt living, this gives no entertainment money (subscription services, toys, phone, internet), I think you still think life is like it was in the 1980s.

In most places, rent alone is $1000, leaving you with $1500 to survive on for 4 weeks.

No. 213677


> Don't pretend like there's an issue among American poor people spending a ton of money on things they absolutely do not need

Do you not see the difference in someone low income frivolously spending money on themselves and someone low income deciding to have an entire child that depends on them 100% for survival? This entire part of your post just sounds like

>dumb thots are spending money on nails and jewelry instead of making babies!

No. 213680

>I don't see how you believe "don't have kids at ages that increase complications and that will leave you in geriatric care when your kids are supposed to be starting their own lives" translates to "just have kids as young as possible no matter how broke you are just because"
I never said any of this, I didn't even say anything about age.

No. 213681

I easily found several apartments with rent under 800 in plenty of suburban areas in major cities. It's not that hard. There's a labor shortage now so I don't see why one would be using a ton of gas, and if you went to school you should be able to get a better paying job that didn't have you scraping by and if you chose a low paying major or dropped out that's on you.and if you can't figure out how to entertain yourself cheaply then that's your own fault
Why do people here get so offended when you point out a lot of people have poor spending habits? What an insane conclusion especially considering I pointed out poor people who are too poor to afford diapers shouldn't have kids. I'm just saying if low income people can afford to spend their money on bullshit all the time then why would someone who earns slightly more than them be able to afford a family?
The entire argument started about ages to have kids…

No. 213693

Your argument changed from "poor people could afford children with frugality" to "just don't be poor." Please link a few of these apartments; maybe you will help a farmer who happens to be in that city out. You really seem like a student who is responsible only for a portion of her living expenses. Groceries and rent aren't the only things you need. How much is your health insurance premium?

No. 213701

File: 1637207231858.png (616.71 KB, 1080x1900, Screenshot_20211117-194332-583…)

Seriously? How hard it is to put location and price range into apartment websites?
Jesus Christ you are really looking for a reason to be offended
I agreed with you when you said people who are too poor to afford diapers shouldn't have kids and somehow it means my argument changed and I'm telling people not to be poor??? WTF??
>I don't like what you say therefore you must be living like this
First I'm a scrote, than I'm some foreigner who doesn't know anything about America, and now I'm a student. Great. All because I said people need to be more responsible with their money and the age they have children. Only on lolcow will people get offended over that

No. 213703

Interesting discussion on how varied advice (especially baby) is cross-culturally and the funny experiences women had raising their children in a culture other than their own.

No. 213714

>Nta but most people aren’t dumb thots who work at walmart either lol.
then you're missing the point of my post, it's that regular americans always live above their means. It's not "impossible" for someone in their 20s to have a child and be financially stable if they aren't stupid
>You sound seriously young, thinking that it’s a great idea to have a baby when you can barely pay for the basics (to say nothing of saving for college or extracurricular activities) is delusional.
point to me where i said at all that I wanted people to have kids when they're unable to pay for basics. I'm just saying people overestimate the cost of children and don't factor in the importance of age and how aging will affect your kids while they are growing up. Having kids when you're dirt poor is careless, having kids that will have to spend their 30s-40s being their caregiver and raising their own children is also careless and the average person can easily care for a family if the budget correctly

No. 213724

Since you really don't seem to be getting it, I made a hypothetical budget for $30,000 a year, which after accounting for taxes (as well as the tax credit you get for having a dependent) gives you ~$2,200 a month to work with. The amounts are based on what I'm paying living in a relatively low cost of living city.

In terms of personal expenses (what you have to pay solely to support yourself), there's $800 for rent, $100 for electricity, $50 for heat, $0 for water (most apartments have free water), $100 for health insurance (assuming you have a good marketplace plan with generous state subsidies), $90 for internet, $100 for a phone plan, $200 for food, $140 for car insurance, and $100 for gas. That's already $1,680, leaving you $520 for baby expenses.

Diapers cost $75 per month, and medical care for babies averages out to $200 per month (even with health insurance, you have copays, deductibles, and tests that aren't covered by your plan to deal with). That leaves you with just $245 to pay for baby clothes ($60 a month on average), baby furniture, hygiene supplies, toys, childcare ($200 a month on average), infant formula ($150 a month on average), safety devices, extra health insurance premiums, and anything else that inevitably comes up. This is already assuming that you don't have college loans or other debts, and that you're not paying for renters insurance or any kind of leisure for yourself. Even without all of that, you'd be spending to the hilt if not actively in the red.

Having a medical emergency or car accident could put you in debt for years, which means that you'd have even less money to spend. You wouldn't be able to let your child take music lessons or play league sports, and you definitely wouldn't be able to save for their college expenses. None of this has anything to do with bad budgeting or being extravagant, and you have to be super uneducated to think otherwise.

No. 213798

That's just bad budgeting, in most states in America you could get medicaid if you make 30k and under (I got approved for it making 37k, they also get you approved faster if you have a baby as well), and that's if your employee doesn't already provide you with insurance. And in America if you're under 26 you could get your parents insurance so I'm not sure why you even included health insurance premiums since that should be last case scenario

As for formula you can easily cut costs in half to entirely by breastfeeding (which Medicaid in most states offer free breast pumps), if for some reason your baby isn't consuming your milk then that would be applicable but that's really rare and there's many programs that can and will help. As for baby supplies in most families baby furniture, clothes, toys, is often passed down and there's a baby store here where you can easily walk in with 10 dollars and get a couple of outfits, toys, supplies, crafts, etc.

Your budget is referencing if someone who is making 30k a year gets absolutely no help from their family, government programs, and doesn't even try to help themselves

And before you say "don't use charity!!" It's literally there to help lower income people survive, also in my experience Medicaid is better than private insurances anyway, obviously don't rely on charity forever but use it as a stepping stone and always look for alternatives

No. 213824

This has to be a larp lmao. How else would you not know that American employers almost never cover 100% of your premiums (and obviously none of your copays, deductibles, etc)? The average employer sponsored health plan cost $599 per month in 2020, and employers paid 83% of that on average, which means that the average employee pays $102 per month. That's almost exactly what I estimated.

If you're not making shit up, you're neglecting to mention some weird extenuating factors when it comes to Medicaid approval. Unless you live in Washington DC, there's no way you qualify for Medicaid as a family of 2 making $30,000 a year. The state with the highest cutoff after DC is Connecticut, and they only extend Medicaid to single parents making less than $27,872.

Also, being covered by your parents' health plan doesn't mean that you're getting free coverage, it just means that your parents are paying for you. If what you're saying is that having a baby at 23 is super easy so long as your parents are willing and capable of paying for everything… well yeah, that's obviously true lol.

It's ironic that you keep accusing others of budgeting badly when you think not having enough money to cover emergencies and accidents (not to mention everyday necessities like clothing and furniture) is totally fine. What the fuck are you supposed to do if you lose your job? What if your baby has a disability or chronic illness? Willingly putting your child into a situation where a random car accident could mean not having enough to eat is straight up negligent, and no amount of uwu mother's love is going to offset that.

No. 213853

>As for formula you can easily cut costs in half to entirely by breastfeeding

many women cannot breastfeed, it's too painful, or they don't produce enough milk, or they have a fussy baby that needs milk alternatives for whatever reason, also if a woman is working most jobs are not providing paid time off to breastfeed

>but that's really rare and there's many programs that can and will help.

no, it's not really rare
>Three days after giving birth, 92 percent of the new mothers said they were having problems breast-feeding. Half of the mothers reported problems with getting the baby to latch on to the breast, or other feeding issues like nipple confusion, when a baby may prefer a bottle. And 44 percent said pain was a problem. And 40 percent said they felt that they weren't producing enough milk.

also not every woman should breastfeed, it takes parenting responsibilities away from men, who are already getting off easy and light when it comes to fatherhood

>As for baby supplies in most families baby furniture, clothes, toys, is often passed down

what is safe and appropriate for a baby changes as the years go on. the swings that my mom used to put me in when i was baby in the 90s are not sold anymore because they are considered unsafe. this also requires constantly being able to drive out to multiple thrift and charity shops in order to hope they have what you need that day

No. 213854


that $850 a month apartment on greene avenue is a farce. you're renting a ROOM. not the full apartment with amenities, read the actual listing, why don't you. you'd be sharing with roommates, strangers. do you want to raise a child while living with roommates?

from the listing
>Grab this opportunity, Looking to fill the rooms at a gorgeous 4 bedroom apartment!

>Rent for full apartment=$3400, Rent per room=$850

this is the same for the woodward ave unit as well. these are bedrooms. and when it comes to filling up rooms in apartments, most people don't want to live with families with children.

No. 213856

>also not every woman should breastfeed, it takes parenting responsibilities away from men
Nta, but why do you think that? I get men won't feed the baby as often if the mother is breastfeeding, but I feel like he could just pull his weight in other areas. I don't know if it's fair to say women shouldn't breastfeed (if they can and want to) just because of that.

No. 213858

>Thinking that being on your parents insurance = "them paying for everything"
Times changing, adjust to in. It's completely normal in most cultures to have your parents help you out financially here in there and obviously not being completely self-sufficient

>Bad situations could arise

Again, if you have good health coverage then it should cover that. There's a labor shortage right now so it isn't impossible to find a new job after you lose one. And there's so many programs for disability especially in younger children.

Also why are you acting like thrift stores are a terrible and hard option? Obviously research the objects you're buying it, clean it good, etc. I even know people who shop at thrift stores regularly even though they can easily afford new things just because you can get great discounts on items that are barely used

You just sound prissy if you think that it's impossible to get good things from thrift shops regularly.
As for breastfeeding goes trouble with breast feeding doesn't mean you can't breast feed at all, I mentioned you can cut costs in half with breast feeding not completely remove the costs all together, and there's different ways to increase milk supply

I lived in shared homes before that allowed children, sure it's not favorable but there's always the option of moving to a cheaper neighborhood and especially if you start a small farm or ranch you can even get a good grant and buy beautiful cheap properties in the Midwest and west. Of course that option is a bit out there but my point still stands that you can find great properties in cheaper areas for as low as 400$ a month

Anon is weird and keeps trying to make everything sound sexist

No. 213862

because breastfeeding is extra stress on the mother, and men even in ideal situations don't preform as many childcare duties as mothers do.

>I don't know if it's fair to say women shouldn't breastfeed (if they can and want to) just because of that.

i never said that anywhere

>Again, if you have good health coverage then it should cover that. There's a labor shortage right now so it isn't impossible to find a new job after you lose one. And there's so many programs for disability especially in younger children.

the "labor shortage" is due to there being a ton of entry level, high stress shitty low paying jobs that offer terrible benefits. you can't have it both ways, you can't say "well just have good health insurance" and then push for people to take any old shitty job out there, and programs for children with disabilities are dependent on location and insurance, and they take a lot of time and paperwork to get into.

>sure it's not favorable but there's always the option of moving to a cheaper neighborhood and especially if you start a small farm or ranch you can even get a good grant and buy beautiful cheap properties in the Midwest and west.

you were the one posting those apartments like they were secret cheap hidden gems that no ones ever thought of before but you, and now when faced with a rebuttal, you're backtracking and admit it's not "favorable".

god forbid people want to bring children into the world under favorable circumstances. i don't want my children to survive, i want them to thrive.

No. 213867

It’s funny to me that so many women are agreeing that they breastfeed their children until 2+ years and that it’s “strange” how other cultures stop at 6 months. Am I the only one who gets ill at the thought of a walking, talking, child (not baby) demanding breasts? I get that they’re your baby, but I just find it incredibly gross after a certain point.

No. 213876

>the "labor shortage" is due to there being a ton of entry level, high stress shitty low paying jobs that offer terrible benefits.
For the first time in years places are constantly raising their wages, especially in fast food. In tip based jobs you can make a lot of money. I knew food delivery drivers who made 4k monthly. It's not that hard
>ou can't say "well just have good health insurance"
you can't just put words in my mouth, I gave several options on not paying insurance which you quickly claimed I said "make your parents pay for everything" simply because I mentioned people can be on their parents insurance until they are 26
>programs for children with disabilities are dependent on location and insurance, and they take a lot of time and paperwork to get into.
Yes but most locations have them, especially if you're near a big city. there are 10+ national organizations too that you don't need insurance for too. Sure they take paperwork but if you have a high risk of a child having a disability then don't have kids and please ffs do not take this out of context to argue more

>you were the one posting those apartments like they were secret cheap hidden gems that no ones ever thought of before but you

you asked me to post apartments and now you're complaining? I KNOW you aren't stupid enough to not know cheap apartments exist but you're the one who pretended like there was no possible way to find an apartment under 1000 around every major city
>now when faced with a rebuttal, you're backtracking and admit it's not "favorable".
How is that backtracking at all? I'm standing by what I said, do you think you deserve a luxury apartment in new york and anything less is me backtracking?

>god forbid people want to bring children into the world under favorable circumstances. i don't want my children to survive, i want them to thrive.

No one is saying that. No one. The only thing I'm saying is that people underestimate how financially stable a lot of people in their 20s could truly be if they acted responsible with their finances and that you have to consider how your age will affect your children. Forcing your child to deal with your aging in their 30s and all the possible complications of a geriatric pregnancy is just as bad popping out babies when you can't afford diapers (even though both opinions apparently offend you)

No. 213900

there is a reason why they stop breastfeeding after 6 months because babies start getting their first teeth around 6 months. they will bite you and you will be in pain if you keep breastfeeding. breastfeeding children after max 1 year is completely retarded and gross only people with severe issues do that or they are into this whole essential oils thing. they will become those kind of parents whose kids will turn out to be brats that bully others because their angels can do nothing wrong since the parents fail to set boundaries and rules with them

No. 213902

nta but your parents' insurance will cover prenatal care but not delivery, and it won't cover your baby at all.

No. 213908

File: 1637331726464.jpg (157.11 KB, 1500x1083, 81jvuPiKnHL._AC_SL1500_.jpg)

Has anyone used the Clearblue Fertility Monitor before? The interface looks clunky, but it would be nice to have four days to try, instead of two.

No. 213942

Can you provide links for this? Some people even qualify for Medicaid while having private insurance as well. On top of that most places have sliding scale hospitals that help out a lot . And there's also the affordable healthcare act

No. 214008

I recently found out that I am pregnant. Currently 4 weeks, and I feel so happy and excited. I can't help but also feel terrified and anxious, because earlier this year I experienced a miscarriage. I hope this pregnancy will last. Every single time I feel any cramps or discomfort down there I am taken back to thoughts of loss. I'm sure plenty of women have gone through the same thing, as I've been reading forum posts about it, but it's so hard to not feel like you're going through these feelings alone. I know it's so early and anything is possible, but I just hope the universe will let me have a baby this time.

No. 214030

That’s really exciting! I hope your baby is safe and that you enjoy motherhood, it seems like such a miracle that I hope to enjoy one day too. I’ll pray for your baby’s safety

No. 214035

That's really wonderful! I hope all goes well for you, and I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

No. 214118

> The interface looks clunky
its a pregnancy test how sophisticated does it need to be

No. 214898

File: 1637964393627.jpg (32.47 KB, 400x400, GUEST_579be336-6028-4603-a1de-…)

Has anybody used or considered cloth diapering? What kind of experience did you have? I'd have to get them washed since we don't have a washer-dryer, but we're thinking about it for earlier potty training.

No. 215041

>its a pregnancy test
No it's not

No. 215291

have you already had a kid before this anon? I was very interested in cloth diapers with my first, even though I knew it was challenging, and tbh with all the stress already of washing things like bottles, making sure everything is there and washing general baby clothes, I really couldn't have coped with constantly having to high power wash the cloth diapers on top of it all. I felt bad especially since you go through so many disposables but I just knew it wasn't worth risking the added stress- if you don't have a washer dryer I imagine it being 100x harder. I don't mean to quash your dreams or anything, it might still suit you

No. 215300

I have to agree with >>215291
I’m lucky to have a lot of help from my husband (we both work from home), but even with this amount of freedom, I think adding diaper washing to the mix would be irritating as hell combined with everything else. You could still always pick up a few just to see if you can handle the maintenance (I’d definitely stick to disposable until the meconium poops are over at least). If you can’t handle it, at least you’ll have tried and only wasted money on a few pairs + the washing fee.

No. 215524

I am this poster. I am now 5 weeks and 6 days. I am so fearful but also excited I have made it this far. I ended up talking to my boss about my pregnancy as a reason for resigning (I've been very sick lately). She ended up telling a whole bunch of my coworkers about it. I feel so stupid for mentioning it to her because I know the rule about only telling close family before 12 weeks. I have 2 more weeks left at my job. I'm even more scared I will miscarry and will have to face these people I barely know. I am trying not to stress about it all, but it's so hard because I so stupidly put myself in this difficult situation.

No. 215562

Not sure if this is the right thread to ask so ignore if it's not, but did any of the moms/expectant moms here ever not have a "baby fever" phase? I'm married in my late 20's and we've both always said we wanted kids, but I'm just not sure as of late. My SIL recently had a kid and while I dearly love my niece, I just didn't get any of those maternal feelings other women seem to get around babies when I'm around her, or any other babies for that matter. I love and want to protect her of course, but I feel no desire to have one of my own.

No. 215606

If you don't want a child, don't have one. I had my son last year, and it's super stressful, no time for anything anymore, and sometimes I just want a week off of everything, which of course isn't going to happen. And I wanted this child so badly I did IVF. I love him dearly and my life is fuller with him in it, but if you don't want kids - don't have them. They're not going to improve your quality of life.

No. 215624

I have a kid that wasn't planned and I never interacted with kids before or was into kids and I love it but yes, it is lots of responsibility and life changing, your priorities will change a bit and you have to streamline your goals/interests. The worst thing about being a mom is the loneliness honestly, it's not common for women my age where I live to have kids and even if they aren't negative about kids they simply don't understand shit schedule wise. I am able to pursue hobbies and interests and goals, my time management has gotten much better, of course I only have 1 child and a good amount of support from my family and my boyfriend's family.

No. 215671

Reiterating this: If you don’t want kids, don’t have them. That being said, if you think you do want kids but don’t feel the baby fever around other people’s babies, I wouldn’t necessarily take that as a sign. One of my coworkers has a kid who’s in middle school now; she’s a super loving, involved parent and the two of them have a really good relationship. She’s told me on more than one occasion, “I don’t like kids, I don’t want to touch other peoples babies, but I love my kid.” I think some people are just like that.

Be realistic with yourself and be honest about how willing you really are to totally change your lifestyle and priorities for the foreseeable future. I love being a parent and all it entails, but I would never judge anyone for deciding that it’s not for them. It really is a ton of work, especially in the beginning.

No. 215699

File: 1638471872523.jpeg (61.24 KB, 640x626, 3221BEAD-B58C-4D3C-B6E0-873E27…)

I’ve been torn by the same feelings nona. We’re both high functioning, high earning healthy people who eat well and try to avoid whatever’s bad for us, and I’m educated enough on biochem/nutritional health to do just about everything that would reduce the likelihood of our baby turning out retarded. Like, shit, I feel less retarded taking the health measures I have and I’ve been autistic forever obvs, they’re good protocols.
I love him, we’re stable, he’s the best. But I’m left so hesitant by the possibility that our genetics will fuck us over anyway. I know both his parents were autistic and he turned out wonderfully. But wouldn’t that make it all the worse, me throwing my own genes into the mix?
I’ve come around from being a fence sitter to wanting kids, but I really don’t know what to do in light of this. I wanted to adopt children with or without a biological child in the mix. The possibility that I just won’t be able to because the person I love is like me makes me sad, and I don’t know what will win out- personal selfish sadness or my morality.

No. 215734

Oh there's a local service that washes your stash weekly or bi-weekly. We would use that.

No. 215740

Nta, but this sounds like a horrible idea for diapers.

No. 215749

>I wanted to adopt children with or without a biological child in the mix.
It's not like the children you adopt are all 100% A+ genetically. My boss adopted a child and the kid tested 60 on an IQ test and seems to have ADHD so severely he always needs an extra teacher by his side to keep him in check.

No. 215768

File: 1638505501117.jpeg (165.93 KB, 1125x936, CA62C845-FC66-4536-8FA4-BFA404…)

Despite my kneejerk “but bringing them into this world damaged would be wrong “ logic kicking in, I think that simple anecdote has gotten me over my tard-child phobia. I’ve actually looked after a number of special needs children in the system and I did love them, too, and felt they were precious and deserving of life regardless of their setbacks. I think I could make a semi-disabled biological child’s life worth living as well.
I think I needed to hear that from a stranger. Thank you for the common sense!

No. 215810

File: 1638555468324.png (320.42 KB, 564x564, f3ac73d5807584779a3253daef2da3…)

is anyone else Rh+ and really scared of having miscarriages?

my mom is Rh+, dad Rh-, and she had 3 miscarriages in between me and my brother
I know some women who are Rh+ with a Rh- man and just have one child because of this
but I've already been pregnant before I was raped as a teenager and miscarried from stress, and I don't know what the blood type was
regardless I want a lot of kids. I know that there's more medical care for pregnant women who are Rh+ with a Rh- father, but miscarrying was so traumatizing I've considered "vetting" men before I date them to make sure they're Rh+

No. 215965

Pregnant and A+ here anon, they said that no further testing was needed when I got Rh testing done, but I do know if you need it they'll give you medication and everything will be smooth

No. 216077

Nonnas, I don't know what to do.

Yesterday I found out I am pregnant. I told my fiancé and he wigged out and told me to get an abortion. He "wants to keep having fun and traveling with his friends". He told me nonchalantly to take care of it otherwise I'm "entrapping him" with responsibility. I was heartbroken.

I've bonded with this baby already even though I'm not even a month along. I'm so overwhelmed with guilt. I don't want to get rid of my baby but I don't want to lose my future husband.

Additionally, the idea of abortion incites a severe feeling of body horror for me.

Pls help, I'm mortified and feel all alone.

No. 216081

Anon why the fuck do you want to marry this POS?

No. 216085

He's genuinely the love of my life.

He backtracked his rationale for wanting me to terminate my pregnancy and said he wants to get married before having kids, which is understandable enough.
So I go, "we have 9 months let's just do it soon and keep the pregnancy a secret"
Nope- that's not good enough for him because it's a "shotgun wedding" in his books.

I'm fucking shook, Western moids are allergic to accountability.
In the culture I am from, this shit does not fly.

No. 216086

He does not love you. Sorry it took you getting pregnant for him to show his true colors. But look at his actions and ask yourself if that's the kind of man you want to spend your life with. I don't care how "good" he is otherwise, when push comes to shove he truly doesn't give a shit about you.

No. 216097

He is truly a piece of shit, I’m sorry it’s such a shock that you think you still like him. He’s only changing his wording now because he’s trying to save face, which is why his actual opinion hasn’t changed. At least he was honest the first time so you don’t have to guess what he’s thinking.

Nonnie, please consider a future where you end up getting the abortion and marrying this waste of air. Imagine that you two have been together for years, and that money is just OK with the both of your working. Now consider his reaction when you suddenly come down with a debilitating illness that requires you to quit your job and rest. What do you think he’ll do when he’s required to give up his free time or put fun money aside and step up?

I’m sorry I don’t have any advice on keeping the pregnancy. Do you have any money saved? Family members willing to help? Can you afford to take time off of work or school for a few months (at least) after birth? Kids are a lot of work, even with a spouse and extra help. Consider the kind of life you’ll realistically be able to give your child.

No. 216147

>In the culture I am from, this shit does not fly.
neither does women being allowed to leave the house, presumably

No. 216148

This is not a matter of culture. This man is responsible for his own shitty and pushy reaction to this news and it is all on him that he's treating you the way that he is. You need to put that on him and not some general trend in a part of the world that he's just following. You're getting a good look at who he truly is right now. Chalking this up to culture is you putting the blame on anything but him.

You can have the child or not have it but if you're planning out your future and mapping out what both of those options look like.. for the love of god do not include this man in your future plans either way. Take this massive wake up call and end the engagement that sounds like it never meant shit to him anyway. He obviously made this gesture of commitment but it's a total facade.

No. 216150

>shotgun wedding
>you're already engaged
you're already planned on getting married, but won't speed up your wedding so you don't have to undergo the trauma of having an abortion?

how old are the both of you if you don't mind me asking? and how long have you been together/engaged?

No. 216161

You should consider getting the abortion. Not because your bf is right and not because your bf deserves getting away without taking responsibility but because you'll essentially have to raise your child as a single mom. That's a living nightmare for the next 20+ years. Unless adopting out is an option for you.

No. 216162

Also hope you break up with this piece of shit. Any man who accuses you of "entrapping" him when he has EQUAL responsibility in creating the child doesn't deserve to be "the love of your life"

No. 216166

I agree with this anon, you're pregnant and going through an hard time emotionally right now, especially with how in love you seem with this guy, but having this child with a man who acts like that will mean you're a single mother, and your chances of finding a man who deserves your love and would love to raise a child with you will plummet drastically if you keep the child and raise it yourself. You seem like a romantic, it would be sad for you to miss out on the love you want because your man is shitty

No. 216172

Abort ASAP, this is a nightmare situation

No. 216188

Ask him if he plans to marry you at all, because it sounds like he's going to make you his forever fiancee if you let him. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

No. 216189

If you don't want to have an abortion, that's enough reason for you to keep it. Don't make that decision for anyone else. You're the one who lives with the consequences, and if you feel pressured or coerced into one, it can really suck afterwards. I've been there.

If you do keep it though - unless he fully runs and dumps you with the kid, your dogshit fiancé will always be in your life. That's if your relationship is over or not - he's your kids father. Honestly I think your relationship is doomed, so you'll be stuck co-parenting with him forever. Dealing with his new girlfriends, if he potentially marries/has kids with someone else etc. Consider that before you make your decision, because maybe it would be best to make a clean break and move on.

Whatever you do, I wish you all the best. It's a really hard situation to be in and it's also really, really hard to make the decision that's right for you. Keep us updated anon

No. 216192


Anon here, thank you all so much for your insight and empathy. I've been lurking lc for a while but this is the first time I've posted anything personal and I'm overwhelmed with appreciation for what a compassionate place this site can be.

Update on my situation - my mans has since apologized for his reaction. He told me that while he was scared of the idea of becoming a dad this early (he's in his late 20s, I'm mid 20s), he did not want to hurt me and regrets his behavior. He told me he'll support me and stay by my side no matter what decision I make.

We're communicating and planning our future like civil adults now, which has put me in a much better headspace.

Thank you again.
Much love.

No. 216234

so he just backpedalled? yeah… this is going to turn out well

No. 216239

I found out an old high school friend is having a baby yesterday and for some reason it felt like a punch in the gut. We're all in our mid 20s now and I am happy for her and always hoped the best for her. It just reminds me of my own shitty situation. I've been wanting kids for so long but realize that I am not financially stable enough for it nor do I have a man in my life and am extremely inexperienced in dating. ugh. I don't want to spend my 30s being pregnant and wanted that more for raising kids. My parents had be older too and now they constantly talk about dying soon and it makes me sad I'll be all alone.

No. 216251

This late twenties man told you to abort it so he can keep on having fun with his friends.. for him to change his mind again that quickly is highly concerning anon.

If you have any women you can confide in irl please do and tell them about his first reaction and this sudden 180 too.. he's not a supportive or stable partner and you have a life changing situation here that's way too time sensitive for this shit. He's being too flippant about whether he's in this or not. You don't want to ignore that.

No. 216260

Believe in his first reaction, because that's how he really is and what he truly believes. You feel bad because deep down you know he and this situation is fucked up. Someone who loves you wouldn't put you through this, they would be extremely loving and supportive from the beginning. Don't have a child with this man.

No. 216262

>Believe in his first reaction, because that's how he really is and what he truly believes
Agreeing withh this. He'll likely hit one small hurdle where his funtime is somehow affected by the pregnancy or baby and he'll return to his first reaction again. Too many fall for this and end up abandoned.

No. 216271

Miscarriage anon from here. STILL bleeding and passing things. Had to get the pill prescribed to me and administer all four pills twice, had like 6 ultrasounds and 4 blood tests I couldn't afford and last Friday the doctor literally pulled the egg sac out of me with no anaesthetic because it was stuck in my cervix. I just keep bleeding and bleeding. I've been going through this shit since November 1st. I'm so miserable. This was literally our first try and I got pregnant immediately. Doctor says I should have no problem conceiving in the future, but holy shit. I've never heard of someone going through a miscarriage as slowly as I have. Over a fucking month of my miserable life like this. If miscarriage happens to me again I'm getting the D&C even though I don't think we could afford it. I wish I could wake up one of you Euro nonnies with free healthcare, I'm so upset at the toll this has taken on my life. I feel like I'm being punished.

No. 216277

Can you go to a Planned Parenthood? They charge on a sliding scale and do so much more than abortions.

No. 216288

Ayrt here. According to my doctor she physically cleared me of the obstruction and it disappeared from the u/s as soon as she pulled it out. I should technically be done, but if this bleeding lasts more than a week I'm for sure going to PP because I'm in hell and feel like I'm going insane. I wish there was any sort of place I could go to talk to other ladies who endured miscarriages this long, but even my doctor says my case is unusual..

No. 216325

I can commiserate with you. I remember turning 24 and getting anxious and hoping I could find a man who I loved and start a family shortly and live happily ever after because I wanted to at least start a family before turning 30. Welp I’m 27 now, have found someone I love, however, we’re both poor and I have no idea how we will ever afford to have kids. We both have shit jobs and I don’t know how I’ll ever buy a house with the way the market is now.

I can relate to the parent situation too. My mom had me when she was 40 and I’ve had constant anxiety about my parents aging all my life. I’m so scared to possibly lose them in the next 1-2 decades. I don’t want to have kids old and have them experience that.

I hope you find someone nonna and get to start a family someday so you won’t ever have to be all alone like you fear.

No. 216338

Solidarity anon, my parents also had me with 40 and them turning 70 recently was the beginning of my crippling anxiety about mortality, death, losing our strong bond and being alone. I love my parents and spend a lot of time with them, cherishing every moment we have, but I often think about their age and feel horrible. I am leaning childfree, but when I still was actively debating kids, I always wanted to have them as late in life as possible so that I can enjoy the time by myself longer. Now, I don’t want my child(ren) to experience the same thing. I shouldn’t complain because my parents are great and while we perhaps have less time together than others, the time we have is spent wonderfully. But I get so upset when I see my friends and their young parents.

No. 219489

File: 1640551405923.jpg (54.81 KB, 486x615, https___i.pinimg.com_originals…)

Finally ovulated yesterday and am really crossing my finger that it's going to happen this cycle. We have been trying since October and this is only my second cycle, first one after getting off the pill was 35 days, ovulated on cycle day 21 and this time I ovulated on cycle day 32. I have PCO (not PCOS) and always had very long and irregular cycles before I went on birth control. My gynecologist has told me it might take a really long time to get pregnant so I am very anxious. It's not even that I want to have a baby IMMEDIATELY, but I can not afford to wait and I would just like to know that my body works and I can have one. It really sucks when your own body is so unreliable and I just have this fear that I will be one of those women who try for years with no success.

Wish me luck Nonitas.

No. 219560

Good luck anon!! ♥

No. 219697


This is really late and I'm sure there may have been changes, but please be cautious about this. My best friend's fiancé immediately reacted the same exact way, wanting her to abort, as soon as she told him about her unexpected pregnancy she wanted to keep. she threatened to break things off and be a single mom if he wasn't willing or wanting a child now, and he backpedaled the same way your SO did. Said he would do anything he could to support her and their child.

Well the baby ate too much into his video game time and time with friends, so he just plain stopped coming home after work and would go directly to friends' homes without answering her phonecalls. His brothers had to force him to go home to see his own child. Because he wouldn't help set up initial childcare, she was financially dependent and taking care of the baby full time. Once he used all the money for formula to buy weed and I had to buy some. He began to treat the baby with contempt and one time screamed to the crying child, "You ruined my life".

She moved in with her sister and I helped chip in for childcare until she was back on her feet with a job. He has no interest in seeing his child but full interest in trying to have sex with her. She's had to NC him and use the court for child support as he refused to help if she wasn't going to be with him.

This could be your future. It probably won't be, but I've seen this exact same play before. Please be careful with what you do.

No. 219717

Not sure if this is the right thread to ask.. but have any of you ladies had an ovary removed and still had a healthy pregnancy? I had my left ovary removed however both my ovaries had a cyst problem. These cysts are removed now but I'm worried that all this crap is somehow going to lead to pregnancy complications one day?

No. 219729

Spearmint capsules are fucking magical for getting pregnant with PCOS as long as if you take them consistently and correctly. I tried for 3+ years with metformin, insitol, myo-insitol, Spiro, etc. Nothing worked until I just started taking exclusively spearmint and a multivitamin. Hopefully this works for PCOS anons!

No. 221376

my sister-in-law has had surgery to remove one of her ovaries and had quite severe cysts on the other, she had two very healthy girls but did have to go through a c-section for both due to complications

No. 221379

I resonate with you anon, but you do not need a house nor a tonne of money. My whole family have had children before owning homes or sometimes without even having jobs. If you have the time and patience to raise children then that is the main thing that matters, if they're living with family or in a rental they will not care if they are loved.

No. 221381

>sometimes without even having jobs
I can understand the home part, but please at least have a fucking job before having kids.

No. 222871

File: 1641913649033.jpg (92.52 KB, 700x208, pergnat.jpg)

Update to my last post, I ended up conceiving on Christmas day and am now 4 weeks and 3 days prego! Thank you for wishing me luck, it worked! I am super excited, this is my first time ever being pregnant and I have my first ultrasound appointment in two weeks!

No. 222874

Congratulations! I’m happy for you nonnie. My only advice is to get into a regular, light exercise routine if your aren’t already. Building some more muscle is easiest early on, and it will help your mobility immensely when you get bigger. Daily walking, stretching, and light arms weights are easy enough on the body until you reach the stable period. I’m wishing you an easy first trimester!

No. 222875

Congratulations nonna!

No. 222884

File: 1641916343371.jpg (133.06 KB, 1884x2048, FIxkxnAVUAAaRrb.jpg)

Thank you nonnas! We usually take a long walk together every evening and I do some yoga exercises, I will keep it up!

No. 226671

I have officially made it to the 2nd trimester. I feel such an intense amount of relief, but I also realize that my old fears for my baby are now just replaced with new ones. Motherhood is just a constant state of worry isn't it. I feel so happy that this little bean seems to be growing so well.

No. 226675

Well done anon and good luck! Happy for you

No. 226684

Kek, love ya. Nonnies from conservative cultures who are with Western men loooove to go on about the beneficial aspects of their traditional culture and customs; too bad nonny forgot that while it’s true that a man telling a woman to abort “doesn’t fly”, dating and having pre-martial sex “doesn’t fly” as well. Neither does abortion. Neither do a lot of things which I presume nonny does, but I assume that she does love to pick whatever suits her from either side and leave the rest.

No. 226726

I’m 25 and trying to apply to medical school and I don’t know when in my life I’ll ever be able to have a baby. I really want to have one, but being a student has made me completely financially broke and I can’t imagine I’ll be able to be fully present for a baby or toddler if I’m in med school. But I don’t want to wait until I’m in my 30s either…

No. 237198

Congratulations, I hope someone is rubbing your feet and getting you all the foods you crave

No. 237330

preserving the good parts of your culture and throwing out the bad is a good thing. keep politics-sperging and worship of white/western scrotes out of a thread about babies, please

No. 238148

i'm 16 weeks and finally feeling like this is a little more real now after two miscarriages (one super traumatic one) but i can't help but feel this underlying dread and anxiety that's taking away how happy I should be. i told my boss today and he was really supportive and even though i'm not entitled to leave he said my job will always be there for me which is appreciated. maybe after 20 weeks i'll finally relax and feel more secure because right now it's really hard

No. 238930

I'm mid twenties and was always really indifferent about having kids. I still feel neutral about babies but little kids are so cute and now I have this longing to have children. Is this what people mean when they say you'll change your mind about not wanting kids or is it just a phase lol? I feel nowhere near ready though so it's super inconvenient. I'm not even sure if I'll ever be ready or suitable to be a parent.

No. 239307

>preserving the good parts of your culture and throwing out the bad is a good thing
No, unless you have don’t have any integrity. That’s called cherry picking. And having inconsistent beliefs. And implies a really bad case of cognitive dissonance. But you have to tell yourself something to sleep at night, so.
>worship of white/western scrotes
Don’t give a shit about them. Never even mentioned politics. Work on your reading comprehension.

No. 239659

nta but what do you mean? you can either raise your child 100% traditionally or with no cultural identity at all, otherwise you have no integrity? "inconsistent beliefs" consistent with what? Since when is it expected of people to have their personal beliefs align 100% with tradition?

No. 243187

Yeah, this happens for most people. Obviously as a teenager/early twenties you don't want kids, you're still preoccupied with trying to take care of yourself and forming as a human being. Which is why I just laugh when people that age tell me they will never want kids FOR SURE! 100% CERTAIN!!! Like, you have no idea lol. I am not at all the same person I was in my early 20s.

Your priorities in life change a lot as you grow older and it's also just a biological process, your brain is literally telling you it's time to reproduce and suddenly babies are super fucking cute and when you see a dad with his child being cute it makes you swoon. That's just biology and it happens to most people eventually. I think the only people who don't go through this change of perspective are people who are traumatized from abuse or autistic.

No. 243634

I want to have kids someday and I love my boyfriend of a year but I feel like he'd mess up my kids. Like his dark humor and not being big on cleaning and not caring about little things and raging at video games never rages at me but I still don't like the behaviour). I don't want those traits passed down. But he's also changed in our time dating, getting better, getting cleaner (still not to my standards but better), completely stopped drinking alcohol, getting better with saving money. So I wonder if I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss him as a dad as he is clearly capable of learning and changing. Maybe it'll get better with more time? It still stresses me out, though. And now I'm thinking I've yet to meet a man I'd 100% trust to raise my kids the way I want. All men just seem below my standards. I think I might just be a control freak due to the anxiety of everything that can go wrong with kids. I don't want little ungrateful, bullying, dumb gross assholes. I want them to be given everything I didn't have growing up with a druggie single mom. But sometimes I wonder if I'd prefer doing it all by myself, even if it'd be hard as a single mom. And would it be unfair to make my kids grow up with only one parent? The anxieties are endless in my head.

No. 245392

I think you're just unnecessarily insulting yourself. You're not a control freak and the anxiety about kids is normal. Nothing you write seems crazy. You're just rightfully concerned because your boyfriend isn't exhibiting any traits that would make you feel safe. Things like raging at video games are annoying and childish. You probably know or seriously suspect that you will have little to no help cleaning and doing general housework. You've seen guys like this completely let the woman do everything once a kid arrives and you're worried. Of course you are! Women are under a constant threat of doing everything alone and it being tolerated by everyone and you don't want that. It's on you of course to figure out if your boyfriend is like this or not, but you're not unnecessarily paranoid.

No. 245415

Your worries are all fair and worried about things means you will be a good mom. Honestly this is all really normal and the decision to have a child with someone is a really big one, that you SHOULD put a lot of thought into.

You might want to wait a little bit and see how he turns out. Don't you want to get married first? Although, if you're gonna wait for a man who cleans up after himself without you nagging him… well you might be waiting a long time. There are not many of them who do that willingly. They are pretty rare specimen.

No. 245437

File: 1645542336024.jpg (61.72 KB, 1026x555, 159450328_wide.jpg)

It's in our DNA to procreate. Wanting to have offspring as an adult is entirely normal. Human brains aren't even fully developed until ~25, so no, I wouldn't expect an underdeveloped person to know what they want for the rest of their life. Imo, people who end up not having children in their lifetime solely because they don't want them (as opposed to never having a chance/being infertile or something) are a tiny minority.

No. 245442

He's always going to not be big on cleaning and will miss the small things because most men are like that. Everything else you've mentioned my soon to be husband did too, but he's changed so much over the years we've been together and I can't imagine a better father for my future kids. You've been together only a year, if he treats you well and you love him give each other the space and time and environment to grow as people. You'll figure out eventually if he's dad material or not.

OT, I never wanted kids but my biological clock kicked about a year ago and I can't fucking wait to have kids. We're not trying yet because I'm doing a postgraduate and the timing isn't quite right but I always hope for a happy accident and genuinely get bummed when I get my period. My fiance never used to want kids either but his opinion has shifted too. He doesn't want them as soon as I do but I caught him watching a clip of a dad comforting his kid by climbing in their cot and he was smiling and it was the cutest thing ever. Jesus my baby fever is real I wish it would chill out a bit because I need to graduate lol.

No. 245451

You are not crazy. Please trust your instincts, they're telling you something important. He may be capable of change, but it's still not worth taking a gamble especially when there's going to be another life involved.

No. 245466

I should've never married a younger guy. Initially, we agreed we didn't want any kids. I'll be 30 this year and now, I'm at the point in life where I do want a baby and we have the means to support one. Unfortunately, he's 24 and is still on the fence. I can tell his opinion on it is changing, but slowly. Too slowly for me. I don't want to be too old.

No. 245477

I got married too young, we agreed that we didn't want kids and a couple years into the marriage (I was 24, he was 26) he blindsided me when he changed his mind and wasted no time leaving. In the long run I've no real hard feelings. I was turning 25 and able to start over so while it felt like time was wasted.. it wasn't so much time that I'd hold onto major resentment. We moved on and have very different lives.

No. 245517

If I were a man, I’d probably leave him over it. But I’m almost 30, so I don’t feel like I even have the time to start over with a new relationship. Being a woman really is suffering. There’s no guarantee I’ll even ever find another man I can trust enough to have a child with.

No. 245557

Yea I do want to be married first, I wrote this not as a statement of trying anytime soon lol but more of a question of anxiety because I'm not about to get married to anyone if I am unsure about kids with them. Getting married and having kids has always been my plan, I bring it up early in a relationship so the other person is very aware going forward. I don't want to sink in too much time with someone I won't be getting married to / having kids with. Maybe I'm just overly critical of it these days as I'm hitting 30 and I'm stressed about how fast time is moving. I don't want to wake up one day, many years from now when menopause hits, without children of my own, it would crush me. You factor in being in a relationship for several years, then getting married then several years later having kids, multiple. Time adds up. I don't want to be too picky but also don't want to settle. I feel like I was 20 just yesterday, it all comes so fast.

No. 245634

File: 1645586938326.png (554.03 KB, 742x745, dad and baby.PNG)

I'm so gutted. My husband and I were two months out from our planned date for trying for a baby and now it's pushed back due to a life changing event. We had six months of savings and I was at peak health and now we're below 10k in savings and I'm too sick for a healthy pregnancy. I had my midwifery team picked out and my husband started to have real opinions on things like baby gear and parenting styles. I feel like a fool, doing everything to prepare and getting so excited. I'm worried about not reaching my desired family size. Do any nonnas who have dealt with timeline disruptions have any tips?
Through your early 20s you're basically a kids yourself, so it's normal to feel like you don't want kids.
Pay careful attention to how he treats you when you get sick or injured enough that you need him to take care of things like making dinner and doing dishes. Men do mature a lot in their 20s, but how/if they rise to an occasion rarely/never does.

No. 245636

It's alright to feel how you're feeling right now. But think about moving on from this current mood. Please realize that sooner, rather than much later, your pregnancy journey will happen. You've prepared for it and your boyfriend is also settling in "baby mode." This moment, may have not been the best time for whatever reason, that's all. ♥ I mean this. ♥

No. 245645

Anon plenty of people get pregnant by accident and make it work, it's good to be prepared but you're also overestimating how much you truly need and not taking in account how long it might take you to get pregnant

No. 245664

Nta but maybe you could bring it up gently? To see how he's feeling about the whole situation while not making it feel like you're forcing him to go through it? On the bright side it being "too late" also depends on the sperm quality so having a younger guy reduces the chance of infertility or issues and he'll be more energetic as a father than an older one will, speaking from experience as I've seen with old men.

No. 245679

Have you considered adoption as an option in the future, if you say he is slowly changing his mind? You can’t be biologically “too old” for that.

No. 245681

File: 1645620576993.png (21.43 KB, 720x432, IconWeek-10.png)

I had my 10 week ultrasound yesterday and it was SO FREAKING COOL! It finally looks like a baby now (I had one at 5 weeks and 7 weeks and it just looked like a little nugget) but I saw the arms and legs waving around and it was soooo active and swimming around in there and hearing the heartbeat was so amazing. I am so sad that my fiancé has not been allowed to come with me so far due to Covid restrictions and I am not even allowed to film it, but next time (12 weeks) he is allowed to come!

It finally feels real to me now after seeing my baby look like a proper baby, I could even see the nose, eyes and ears. I can't wait to be 20 weeks and feel it move! I am so happy!

No. 245684

Why aren't you allowed to film? Congratulations though anon! Seeing the baby must have felt crazy

No. 245687

The doctor said she doesn't want me to record inside of the treatment room, not sure why exactly.

No. 245712

Congrats anon! So glad you got to see your lil strawberry wiggling around.

I wasn’t allowed to take pics or videos either, they just gave me one printed picture at my 12 week scan. My husband wasn’t allowed to come to any of my appointments until the second anatomy scan at 24 weeks (baby was uncooperative for the first one lol) and he felt so excluded. I understand that covid protocols are in place for a reason but it really sucks for dads to not be able to take part early on.

No. 245742

I also got some printed pictures to show him, but it's just not the same! Damn, that really sucks that yours had to wait 24 weeks… I also understand it's Covid and everything, but it's already so much harder for the men to build a relationship with the child and then they are not even allowed to be there for all the cool first moments! I can't wait for him to see it in two weeks, he is so excited for the baby. He kisses and rubs my stomach every day even tho there is barely a hint of a bump yet and he puts his head on it asking "How is our little berry doing?" it's so adorable. I can't wait to see his face when he sees the baby on the ultrasound and hears the heartbeat, I just know it's gonna be such a special moment.

No. 245958

Thank you for the positive thoughts.
It could take a while to get pregnant, which is what makes me so anxious. As long as I'm as sick as I am, a pregnancy would not be prudent. As far as money goes, it's not the cost of the baby, but the need for an emergency fund.

No. 245966

I understand your fear and emergency funds are definitely important but you don't need 15k or anything on the dot before you even think about having kids. Plenty of families live comfortably with having a very little emergency fund

No. 245970

A lot of doctors say no to video because if anything happens, they miss something on the scan or say something scary, you have video evidence in a lawsuit if it ever came down to it. It’s a liability thing. Same goes for the birth process. You can take photos but no video.

No. 245999

You're still in your twenties, maybe treat your upcoming big birthday as motivation to really think about what you want and whether your husband is worth sacrificing that for, I'd argue that parenthood isn't something you should ever sacrifice for a partner. Half of all marriages end, factor in his young age and that increases the rate of divorce even more. Add in that you dont agree on this major part of life and it shoots up again.. you might be better off starting over at 30 than sinking more years into this. You're not trapped. You have time to think about what you want.

Staying because you feel too old to start over or because you'll never find someone to love you again.. that's the exact same shit abused women say to themselves.

No. 248676

I’m 8 weeks pregnant and I’m bloating worse than I’ve ever bloated in my life.. literally my clothes are already too tight and I’m constantly uncomfortable. Does it get better!?? I’m eating lots of fruits and veggies everyday and cutting back on carbs and gluten. I don’t know what to do but I look and feel way heavier than I should at this point! Anyone have any advice?

No. 248726

To anyone who’s been pregnant more than once: did your feet get a little bigger each time? Or just the first time? I didn’t have any changes in my body after pregnancy, sans a slight increase in foot width. I can wear all of my pre-pregnancy shoes, they’re just a bit tight now.

I’m worried that if it happens again I’ll end up getting sized out of both my own shoes, and basically all readily available/cheap new shoes though.

Have you tried totally cutting salt? I know it’s pretty difficult, but it might be worth a shot. My mom had horrible swelling/bloating throughout her entire pregnancy with me and cutting salt was the only thing that helped.

No. 249011

I want a baby so bad. The worst part is that my bf got me pregnant already and made me get an abortion. It really eats away at me and I had no support when I was cramping and bleeding. He just left me in the bedroom and closed the door. I wish I deserved better. I wish I could have had my baby. It hurts so much. I still don’t have any support system. It’s awful. It eats away at me. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t have any friends. I don’t have family. I feel alone.

No. 249172

Go ahead and get a pair or two of maternity pants. Wearing clothes that cut into your stomach will make the bloated feeling worse.
I am so sorry you had to go through that. What needs to fall in place so you can leave your bf? Do you live far away from family and friends, or are they out of the picture completely?

No. 249174

I'm so sorry anon. I hope you're able to leave him.

No. 249193

I'm so heartbroken to hear this. No one should go through this. I hope you can maybe consider that him treating you that way means he would have treated your child as bad, if not worse. "People" like this deserve nothing and are the lowest scum of the earth. I hope you can heal soon(don't use emojis)

No. 249195

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I don't want to take any medication against the nausea but it's been getting really bad. I lost some kgs of weight and since I barely drink and can't keep any food inside me, I even passed out today. I feel so guilty and I don't know what to do. And yes I have tried Ginger, I even had a bit of Ginger in my mouth while passing out. Sorry for venting so much, I just hope that if someone had it that bad in first trimester that they still say that it stops at one point.

No. 249209

Anon I think you should see a doctor. If you are at the point that you're losing significant amounts of weight and pass out because you can't consume things orally you might need some medical intervention. In most cases like yours yes it does stop eventually but you shouldn't wait it out. Is there a reason you don't want to take any medication for this?

No. 249210

Just really not fond of doctors and taking medication, that's all. Also my mom took some nausea meds when pregnant with me and I feel like this gave me me some mental problems like depression-like feelings ever since I was a child.

No. 249223

All the same you really should get checked out. This kind of thing can put your baby at risk for things like low birth weight. I'm not trying to scare you I just want you to know what can happen. You can't know how long this will last (it can go on up to 20 weeks) and nowadays antiemetics used on pregnant women are quite safe for use during pregnancy. But even if you don't take any meds you might need some rehydration (IV fluids) if you're not drinking much.

No. 249224

No offence anon, but there's no way you think that seeing a doctor is going to be worse for you/your baby than passing out from hunger and losing weight

No. 249226

christ fucking abort it for the benefit of everyone

No. 249229

Vomiting too much and becoming too dehydrated can cause in abortus of the baby because the ADH levels rise too much. Please get it checked out, you do not have to take medicine but they can give you the vitamins and stuff you need intravenously. I hope for the best in you and want you to know thatyou can simply not take medicine for nausea but still get treatment that can ensure your and your baby's safety.

No. 249316

Thank you, have made an appointment for soon. It's my first pregnancy also, so this is all very new to me

No. 249338

That's good, I wish you good luck and health with your pregnancy. Like the other anons said, going to the doctor doesn't mean you have to take medication. I realize that my earlier post >>249224 may have sounded callous, so I'm sorry nonna

No. 249341

Don't worry about this the slightest please, sometimes this is needed.

No. 249371

Try vitamin b6 and/or Unisom- both safe to take during pregnancy

No. 251469

Currently pregnant and starting to show quite a bit. How did you all deal with your changing bodies? I thought I would be fine with it cause it's just a belly and bigger boobs, right? Well I didn't know that when you get pregnant your waist completely disappears. I had a nice hourglass figure before. Gone. Apparently your organs get pushed up by your uterus and give you a lovely barrel-shape. I am in that very non-cute in-between state where there is no nice round cute belly and I just look FAT AS FUCK and I hate it. I am so unhappy. I think I will be happier once I have a bigger belly and look more obviously pregnant but right now I am miserable.

My boobs also have gone up 3 cup sizesand I already had big breasts before so aside from having to buy bigger bras I also can not fit into any of my shirts, sweaters, jackets just because of my boobs. I have to buy clothes in XL now instead of M because otherwise I can not get them over my boobs. I look fat and frumpy and I HATE THIS SO MUCH!

No. 251473

This. To add my own experience for anyone reading, the really key thing was to be with a partner (the father in my case) with qualities that you feel are complementary and beneficial. Again not to sound like a tradwife, but I think that’s why the ‘getting married’ thing is such a good indicator. If you’d marry a guy, then he’s likely a pretty safe bet (barring exceptional circumstances) for having babies with. While money is clearly essential, as long as you can appropriately feed, clothe, and house them then that’s all you really need. Freaking out about “being ready” will have you waiting until it’s too late - the only thing that truly prepares you for parenthood is becoming a parent!

No. 251474

I’m so sorry to hear this anon. I hope you can take this pain and use it as motivation to create a life where you can have a baby, safe with a man who loves and takes care of you both. Blog but I had something similar happen to me as a teen, and now I’m happily married with children. It will happen for you anon. I’m just sorry you had to go through this first. Sending lots of love to you.

No. 251475

If it makes you feel better, I hardly showed and blew up everywhere else as well. However, as soon as I started breastfeeding that went waaaaay down and I regained my pre-baby body pretty quickly. It's crazy how much your body burns to create that stuff. Your boobs might take a while to go down but as soon as your body "realises" how much your baby is eating they'll settle. Honestly my midwife was really helpful so it might be worth asking her if you have one.
Best of luck & enjoy your little baby nonnie.

No. 251481

Has anyone in the US done a home birth with a certified nurse midwife? I'm looking into because I'm the type of person who can't even relax enough to have a bowel movement away from home, but I'd love to know how it was for others.

No. 251483

Anon i highly discourage against home births, a lot of women don't feel pain with certain conditions that 100% need medical attention, my mother had Placental abruption and thought it was normal contractions, if she hadn't gone to the hospital i'dve ended up either dead or with cerebal palsy (or worse like Luna from the Luna and Robin thread if you want some real anti home birth propaganda), I still have a few motor issues and autism but nothing that heavily impacts my life.
Please, for the sake of your children don't fucking homebirth.

No. 251506

anon i can't say my own experiences but both my mother and my sister had home births and I plan to also eventually. They both enjoyed the process and did not like the idea of having to do it in a hospital. Homebirths do have a higher infant mortality rate, so thats something you have to accept. I would never do a homebirth if the pregnancy was high risk, if you lived really far away from a hospital, or if you had multiples.

Personally (as long as those things don't apply) I cannot imagine giving birth in a hospital, I've seen too many horror stories from women in them, and it isn't like bad things don't happen in hosptials too. I don't want to sound corny but at the end of the day you are bringing a life into this world, and you want that experience to be good. I would recommmend doing a lot of research before deciding. It is a very personal decison though and I hope you find happiness no matter which you choose!

No. 251572

Yeah I have no doubt that I will get rid of the pregnancy weight pretty fast, but it just sucks for now. I think I will also be more comfortable once I look very obviously pregnant and am past that "is she pregnant or just fat?" stage. My husband is being great tho and he seems to really love how I look still and he rubs my belly every day and says he thinks it looks cute. I mostly get upset when I have to shop for clothes and then try them on, it's so frustrating that nothing looks good on me anymore.

No. 252053

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I feel like I'm too old to have a baby. I've been crying about it alot recently. Maybe it's for the best, even though I love children and I know I would be a good mother, maybe it's better to just let this go.

To all the mothers here I wish you the best and I send my love.

No. 252055

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pregnant with twin girls atm, 30 weeks. i have no idea wtf am i doing aaaaaaa

No. 252062

i'm so sorry anon, it's sad when women who really want kids (that seem like they wuld be GREAT moms) don't get to have them. I know you heard this a lot, but if you have a nurturing side, have you considered adoption (if it is feasible in your country)? or volunteering with something that involves kids, that that tends to be the same kid?

No. 252090

How old are you? My mom had me at 39 and I turned out fine, promise I don't have autism even tho I am on here sometimes.

No. 252108

Congratulations anon!

No. 252140

NTA but same, my mom had me at 38 and I turned out healthy too (aside from browsing lc) even more so than my brother who was born when she was 23.

Congrats! Wishing you lots of luck and energy for when your girls arrive.

No. 252223

cute! my friend had twins and she said even though she was overwhelmed as hell there was a calm she felt when they were born and she held them at the same time. I wish your family well, nona. <3

No. 252295

I've considered adoption, because it would be great to give a child a welcoming home and family. I know this sounds selfish, but I also want to experience pregnancy too. It's difficult to explain over text but within the last six months, I've undergone a profound psychological change in which I feel a part of the cycle of life. It was a change in my psyche and it had alot to do with communicating with my ancestors. I know that sounds weird but I can't deny the impact it's had on my way of looking at the world. I see life as momentary change, everything happening all at once in a passing singularity, and I see myself as part of the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.

I'm 27. I know I'm young, healthy, and capable of taking care of a baby. The reason I'm bummed out is I doubt I'll ever find a husband to do this with, and I'm committing the next two years of my life to graduate school. I have this specific fear that by the time I'm 30 my eggs won't be good anymore lol.

Yesterday my parents were congratulating me on getting into grad school, and I was happy that they were happy, but when it was just me and my mom I joked around and said I hope I find a husband at university. It feels like I'm going through the motions of being a grad student when deep down all I want to do is be a mother.

Sorry for the long post. In the past year, four women in my apartment building have had babies, and everytime I see them my brain emotionally short circuits

No. 252662

Any anons here had a baby with one ovary?
I had mine removed recently and I'm so scared the other one is going to have some kind of cyst issue again. I want to have a child in the next few years but im afraid something will happen between now and then. Any recommendations on improving ovary health too? Thanks nonnas

No. 252666

Ok you are insane, there is plenty of time. I browse the pregnancy subreddits sometimes and the median age on there is 30. Lots of women are 34,35 and older. I myself plan to have kids into my mid to late 30s because I want to have at least 4. It's absolutely not an issue to have kids in your 30s, stop going on 4chan and listening to incels who spam egg-memes.

No. 252692

I've had few patients who had babies with only one ovary. There's not really much you can do to avoid ovary problems like cysts I'm afraid. Best you can do is get regular check ups to detect any changes early. Have you spoken to a doctor about maybe freezing eggs in case anything happens to this ovary in the future? For overall ovary health you can do a few things: avoid carcinogens (like cigarettes), keep a healthy weight and diet, exercise, avoid hormonal birth control if ur using bc, and manage stress.

No. 253256

23 weeks and my little girl is moving like crazy. No one told me how scary the feeling of a tiny fetus kicking and rolling around inside you is. I love feeling her and knowing she is there, but this truly does feel like body horror sometimes.

No. 253480

I am probably gonna be shamed to hell and back, so I'll sage this one and hope a kind anon answers.

I slept with two different guys unprotected a week apart, now I'm pregnant. Slept with the first guy a day after my period ended, he didn't orgasm. Slept with the second one pretty much what was supposed to be the day I ovulate, he pulled out, then he put it straight back in, I didn't have time to even object it happened so fast. 6 days later I got a mild tingle in my uterus.

I know sperm theoretically can survive 7 days, and precum can theoretically contain sperm. So I'm pretty much freaking out not knowing who the father is.

I'll keep it if I know who the father is, but I can't go through with it alone then seeing who the dad is when its born. Prenatal fatherhood testing is illegal here.

No. 253579

I had to have my other ovary removed too, my doctors told me that it shouldn't affect my fertility at all and I should be able to get pregnant with only one just the same. So don't worry, like >>252692 said just keep a healthy lifestyle and you should be fine. That's what I was told at least, and I know multiple women who have gotten pregnant with only ovary.

No. 253590

No shame here, anon. That really sucks. I don't frequent this thread but I wish you the best ♥

No. 254139

Thank you sweet anon

No. 254378

This is seriously such a mean question, but what if I have children with physical/mental problems? I've been watching youtube channels of families with children who have cerebral palsy or autism and some shit and I really cbf with that. Is there a way to test for that before you have kids? Or is it a luck of the draw?

No. 254389

genetic testing can be done but it's usually expensive and not covered but I think it would be worth it. Ranges from 2k-3k USD

No. 254607

You could do 23 and me or some shit. Also knowing your family history is a good start. I never got genetic testing done before pregnancy but I was tested while pregnant. They test for Down syndrome mostly. My father carries the gene for cystic fibrosis(a terminal illness), and so they tested me to see if I was also a carrier. Thankfully I am not.

I don’t believe you can test for things like autism but if you have family that is autistic, then the chances are higher.

No. 255324

Why did no one warn me of the hair growth. Husband keeps saying he doesn't see any hair but my stomach and breasts are COVERED, my arm hairs are long and I swear my peach fuzz on my face is becoming longer and thicker too. I guess I'm high testosterone after all, or maybe it's a sign that it will be a boy.

No. 255461

I have a girl and I have gotten extremely hairy. Mustache and all.

No. 255462

I have a daughter too and got peach fuzz all over my tum, back, thighs and butt. It's actually weird because growing more hair during pregnancy actually means higher estrogen

No. 255463

NTA but you didn't have a mustache?? I always did.

No. 255877

I had very light barely there peach fuzz. Now I have some dark thick hairs sprinkled about.

No. 255924

How do you guys handle the insane amount of kicking? I'm losing several hours of sleep due to the amount of kicking

No. 256022

I miscarried.

No. 256134

File: 1649822992838.png (636.99 KB, 712x566, 47545733377.png)

I'm sorry anon. Even if it wasn't meant to be that's still a rough thing to go through. Hope you are okay after this ♥

No. 257014

At what point did you feel your baby move and kick? And is it very subtle or obvious? My grandma said it happens after 3rd month of pregnancy but I'm at 4 months now with barely any bump and also feeling nothing at all. The Obgyn says everything is fine, but Im afraid I'm just numb or something?

No. 257017

did it go away after pregnancy? do nonnies know?

No. 257020

It can take up to 25 weeks for some women to feel their baby's movements, especially if it's ur first child. If ur doctor visits are uneventful I wouldn't worry too much. (Or you could get a second opinion if you'd like). You should only be alarmed if after you start feeling movements regularly they suddenly stop for a significant period of time. (When you start feeling kicks you can keep a count of how many you usually feel in an hour so if there's a severe deviation you'll know right away).

No. 257032

I didn't feel it until 5 months or so and the baby was fine. It may have something to do with placenta placement, keep tabs with your doctor but I wouldn't worry too much about it.

No. 257311

i started feeling little hints of something around 19 weeks but I'm now 24 weeks and only just starting to feel definite movement. placenta placement is a huge factor early on too, mines at the front so everythings a bit dulled and I'm told that's normal

No. 257582

How do I mentally deal with getting stretchmarks? I am only 26 weeks and I already started noticing a few on my thighs and legs. I thought I would be able to handle these changes, but I can't help but feel depressed about it. My mother's stretchmarks are pretty bad, and I am just waiting for the inevitable to happen.

No. 257583

Nobody really cares about how you look except your husband and ideally, he won't find stretch marks a big deal.

Our bodies change as we age and we're all going to be ugly one day, there's no way around it.

No. 257584

There are some creams that can help reduce scarring afaik. You can visit a derm to see your options.
Then again, stretch marks aren't really noticeable and I've had them from my teens but only noticed years later when someone ill intentioned pointed them out. If even you yourself can't notice them and only people nitpicking you can, are they really that big of a deal? Some women have worse marks and that's why I also mentioned the creams or oils at the start, you can still do something about it if you find that you can't accept the changes and want to lessen their intensity.

No. 257585

my mom had no stretch marks after being pregnant with twins, I know it's largely genetic but she also used sweet almond oil every day so you could try that

No. 257657

I have an anterior placenta and was told I wouldn't feel kicks as much, fast forward to my baby having fucking raves while I'm trying to sleep kek

No. 257889

Are you guys having a boy or a girl? Girl here. Everyone around me seems to be having boys. Can't relate.

No. 257891

Can’t remember off the top of my head but there’s a nutrient deficiency during pregnancy that makes them worse.

No. 257908

I have a girl and I'm excited, boys are a fucking nightmare and scare me

No. 258141

Collagen or Biotin, possibly (?)

No. 258536

I apologize in advance for venting.

My pregnancy has been really difficult, and I’m counting down the days until it’s over (currently 30 weeks).

I kicked off my pregnancy with HG starting at about 4 weeks. I couldn’t keep anything down, including water. I was throwing up about 10–12 times a day. I went to the ER 5 times for fluids before my midwife referred me to an infusion clinic.

Unfortunately, the fluids didn’t give me much relief for my nausea and I still couldn’t keep food and liquids down (I tried all the antiemetics available to me and they didn’t work or had equally bad side effects). I ended up losing about 15lbs.

Around week 18 I finally stopped throwing up all day and only threw up about 5 times in the morning and could keep some food and liquids down. My HG finally tapered off around 24 weeks.

After the HG, I had really bad heartburn so I ate small portions of bland foods. A few weeks later I only experienced heartburn at night, so I could finally enjoy food. I was experiencing pregnancy cravings for the first time and it felt so good to finally eat.

At 28 weeks I was diagnosed with GD after failing both the 1 and 3 hour test. I experienced a lot of stress and anxiety for my daughter. I felt like I had failed her somehow.

Now, at week 30, I’m just over it. Besides the HG and the GD, I’m constantly in pain, exhausted and feel like garbage. I’m so ready for my daughter to be born.

I know that a lot of women have waaaay worse pregnancies than I do and I shouldn’t complain. It’s just hard. Thankfully my daughter is healthy. I’m just ready to see her cute little face.

No. 258539

Sorry for the wall of text, too!

No. 259268

Is this your first? I heard that with girls the nausea gets worse, but also that the worse it is that the healthier the child will be. Don't worry, and please see your sacrifice as something good. Basically your body going sicko mode to ensure your child's health comes first. This is beautiful. Stay strong.

No. 259269

Try maybe some rosehip oil, coconut oil, maybe some vitamin E cream as well.

No. 259272

Ugh sorry nona. I puked a TON with my daughter too but not as much or as long as you. The final weeks are the worst too.

The last couple of weeks with my son, I was in so much pain I was walking on my hands and knees at times. Sometimes I laid down on the floor not moving because my pelvis felt like it was going to explode. He sat soooo low.

Once she’s out you’ll feel much better. Start nesting! Keeps your mind off your body and keeps you focused on the baby.

No. 259311

Does it? I've been taking collagen and biotin religiously and still got stretch marks at 35 weeks. I'm having a big baby though and I'm quite small so it was inevitable

No. 259331

In regards to conceiving, did anyone use a tracking app or did you just regularly test for ovulation? I have one of the apps and I'm worried its starting to make me a bit neurotic about the whole thing, always reading and refreshing it. Considering deleting but its so useful in knowing where I am in my cycle

No. 259528

if the app calculates by dates only from when your period was, they aren't actually that accurate- because you can ovulate basically anywhere in between. Like right after period or maybe just before the next one, it's all just estimates and averages. Biology isn't really tuned to clockworks.

No. 259558

I used a period tracking app and had sex on all the marked ovulation days. I was able to conceive when I wanted to. I think the apps have merit because before ttc, I used the app as the only form of birth control, and never got pregnant from unprotected sex with my husband (for 2 years).

No. 259734

I'm having a big baby boy and I'm a really petite framed woman. I have a posterior placenta and I already feel movement regularly. At my last ultrasound my son was kicking, stretching, and even rolling over like crazy! My OB couldn't even get a cute screenshot because he wouldn't be still. I'm only 16 weeks but things are already getting uncomfortable for me and I can't imagine how I'll feel in 20 weeks. I already can't comfortably lay on my back or side, I'm constantly out of breath, I bought larger pants that are already too tight.. Everyone keeps telling me how much bigger my belly is every week- its just popping out more and more like crazy. It's kind of blowing my mind because I was not expecting to show like this. Our baby keeps measuring one week ahead of growth consistently and I'm wondering if I'm farther than they think or if I'm just having a big baby?? His dad really isn't a huge guy? I'm stressing for my own sake but thankful that my baby is healthy and growing. How uncomfortable does baby's movement get in the third trimester? I have absolutely no idea what to expect.

No. 259759

Yep! She’s my first. Thankfully she’s doing really well. It’s just mom that’s having a hard time. Just 60 more days…

No. 259761

Yikes! I feel like I’m starting to get to that point. If I walk around for longer than 10 minutes I either get pain from diastasis and/or contractions. I should try crawling more often haha

No. 259764

The same thing happen to me. My daughter would not stop moving during the ultrasounds.

By the third trimester, from my experience, the movements will be a little slower but a lot stronger, if that makes sense? My little one will slowly stretch, kick and punch me for like 10 to 15 minutes straight. The worst is when they start to kick you in the ribs and bladder. Also, they might move around so much it wakes you up at night.

No. 259952

Does anyone use an owlet? I got one for my baby shower and was excited but I keep reading that it sets off false alarms all night, is this true?

No. 260091

Consider yourself lucky because those apps are super inaccurate. Once I started actually tracking my ovulation with ovulation tests I found out that I ovulate a week later than the app predicted. The only way to really know when you ovulate is to use ovulation tests as well as measuring your basal body temperature every day.

No. 260096

My heart goes out to all the nonnies with difficult pregnancies and lots of nausea. I am extremely thankful that my pregnancy has been super easy and I haven't been nauseous at all except for maybe 1 or 2 times, but my mom told me she was the same when she was pregnant with me, just barely any symptoms. I very rarely get heartburn, I am not constipated (tbf I eat extremely healthy and tons of fiber) and really don't have any negative symptoms other than feeling more tired and exhausted and out of breath easier.

Just for anyone reading this thread who might be scared of pregnancy and being nauseous/feeling awful all the time, that's not always the case.

No. 260166

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my husband and I have began trying to conceive. i have an appointment with my gyno in a couple of weeks, but i was wondering if any nonas have helpful tips + can link some websites, apps, etc. i have no idea where to start reading information. i have ordered some folic acid and pre natal vitamins but am so not sure what else to do! ♥

No. 260258

"It starts with the egg" Is a book thats often recommended, otherwise I read /r/tryingtoconceive on reddit for some advice, but be warned, it's reddit so most women on there are neurotic and fat weirdos who make their husbands jizz in cups and then self-inseminate cause their husbands all have ED. They know all about the theory of getting pregnant tho, they just can't put it in practice. They have good resources and you can ask a lot of questions.

Some ovulation tests and tracking your ovulation with an app like premom or fertilityfriend could also help. These apps ask you to track your basal body temperature to figure out your ovulation and with premom you can take pictures of your ovulation tests (buy a big box of cheap ones on amazon you can get like 50 for $10) and it will read them for you, you will also need a special thermometer for this.

Of course you don't have to do any tracking at all unless you don't conceive within a couple of months of trying naturally. I tracked everything just for fun and because it became a little bit of an obsession, but we just had sex every day and got pregnant in my second cycle off the pill.

No. 260509

ty so much! i will check that reddit out. i have been tracking my ovulation with flo, but I'll definitely check those other apps out. we are definitely in no rush but i do like tracking things too. hopefully it'll happen soon! we have only tried twice so far, but they were on my highly fertile days.

No. 260541

I have been reading a lot into Ray Peat diet, and on the forums there a girl said after taking Progesterone (Progest-E oil or something was the name in the shop, an orange bottle) she conceived even though doctors have literally told her she's infertile.

No. 260655

I am planning for a baby. I already took 2 vaccines last year and I wondering will getting the 3rd one mess me up. I need to visit my family and help them out, but they are far away from me and their airport system works with 3G, as in
>You either have to survive the COVID and come negative
>Paying 200$ for a PCR-test
>Getting the 3rd vaccine, which is free.
I am wondering if I should get vaccinated again. I am paranoid because of all of the talks on boards and social medias over the past years.

No. 260662

I chose not to get vaccinated after a close friend of mine had a miscarriage right after she got the vaccine. On the subreddits where they are trying to conceive they also all report that their periods got irregular afterwards, they had longer cycles or anovulatory cycles right after getting the vaccine. You're already vaxxed twice, do you really need a third? It doesn't really do anything.

No. 260732

Spearmint pills worked wonders on me and they're only 3 bucks on Amazon. Hope this helps!

No. 260733

Definitely. Everyone I know who's vaccinated are having trouble conceiving or major pregnancy complications

No. 260773

Thank you so much. I still cry about it, I still struggle a lot even though it was so early and its probably dumb to grieve. Most end in miscarriaged anyway so I just feel silly being so sad about it. I just feel so very empty inside now. The feeling of the hormones leaving my body makes me feel hollow. I know it was for the best, but I'm still so very sad. Stupid as I am I already bonded with it, I felt like it was my special secret, a little seed inside of me to take care of. Silly.

No. 260867

is that true? i got vaccinated and i want to have kids some day.. have noticed my periods have become strangely heavy after getting vaccinated. i also once had my period come early despite being on the pill and religiously taking it every day at the same time. never happened to me before.. so.. i worry about my fertility..

No. 260868

like my period came like clockwork due to the pill before i got vaccinated. knowing that other women who have gotten funny periods after is freaking me out. anyone in this thread successfully have a kid after getting the vaccine?

No. 260871

I had both doses of Moderna last dose being in June. I was able to get pregnant my first attempt in October/November. Currently in 3rd trimester with no issues. I didn't have any altered period symptoms though.

No. 260904

You can fake a PCR test easily, if you want to I can provide you with one from a German lab or from a lab in Spain. I have traveled with these multiple times via plane and no one even really looks at them. You can also travel with the 2 vaccines you got, I'm pretty sure. Read closely the pages of the foreign ministry of where you're going. BTW I never vaccinated and had no problem travelling.

No. 260978

There are not yet studies about how the vaccine will affect female fertility since not enough time has passed. The only studies they did before waving the vaccine through for pregnant women were on rats.

No. 262987

Got diagnosed with high blood pressure AND gestational diabetes. I've been trying so hard this pregnancy maintaining a healthy diet and getting some exercise in. I feel defeated.

No. 262997

Sometimes it really is just genetics; don’t beat yourself up too much. Despite sticking to a super strict 1400kcal diet and light exercise routine throughout my entire pregnancy, I still managed to gain 20kg. Apparently I retain water like crazy and nothing my doctors suggested could change it. I think pregnancy is just a complete crapshoot for most people. Do what you can to take care of your body for the time being, and take it easy as much as possible. Wishing you luck on the remainder of your pregnancy, nona!

No. 263055

Nonnies I’m hoping to get pregnant next year and I’m excited and scared at the prospect. I’ve got a lot of fears about giving birth, mainly because I don’t trust doctors for various reasons, so I’m wondering how you all overcame your anxieties?
I’m really scared of my baby being taken away after giving birth, it’s important to me that I get skin to skin with baby asap but I don’t know how realistic that is. I’m also scared of them cutting me, is that common? Is that just something they do or is that an emergency thing?
What do you wish you’d known before getting pregnant and giving birth? And what all should I expect after the birth?

No. 263078

I would definitely look into getting a midwife instead of an OB. If not, getting a doula. It changes the whole atmosphere of birth and they are more likely to listen to your wishes. It helped with my anxiety a ton.

No. 263156

Hey, me too! I think the best things we can do are to find local groups like WI maybe to get more experienced women's advice and help. Also getting yourself to a good level of fitness before trying I'm sure would be beneficial too

No. 263164

Where do you live? They usually don’t take your baby away unless it needs serious medical attention right away. Skin to skin is pretty standard practice (I live in California) here and no one takes your baby away unless you allow it. And any time they took my baby for a test or something, their dad always went with. You are the advocate for the baby so they don’t /can’t do anything without consent.
I’ve never heard of not doing skin to skin as soon as the baby is born. Although I think if you get a cesarean done, it’s a little different since you’re numb from the neck down or something. But they still put the baby on you. You’re the warmest thing and it’s cold for a baby once they’re out of the womb. The feeling is amazing - I’ll never forget it especially with my first. Made me cry so hard.

As for the anxiety…can’t help you. I had a few panic attacks during birth. Nitrous helps- ask for it. Midwives are better and you can ask for a doula.
The hospital I gave birth at never cuts and I never tore. Depends where you go I guess.

Your birthing hospital should offer classes. Take them all.

No. 263267

I was thinking of employing a midwife for a homebirth, but my family ultimately views that as too much of a risk, also it can cost like 1k-1.5k in my country and I can't afford that. Also since its my first birth, I dont know what to expect. Maybe next time. I simply hope that I could make my husband be present and aggressively stating enough that we do not wish anything done that they don't dare to.

No. 263370

What about midwife assisted hospital birth? That's what I am doing with my first. I also hired a doula in training to help. It was much cheaper (400 usd) and she provides a decent level of support and education that makes me feel less anxious.

No. 263749

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I've never really had "baby feelings" before, but recently I've started dreaming of having sons and in my dreams the love I feel for them is so visceral it's actually making me want a baby. I'm married and we have good jobs and maybe it's time?

No. 263752

Why not anon, if you're having positive thoughts about it and you're financially stable then you're already 80% better than a lot of mums today. Good luck!

No. 263766

I forgot chinchilla's existed

No. 263783

It's like flipping a coin pretty much, a lot of women are miscarrying like crazy after the vaccine and it creates a lot of blood clots in the placenta. I honestly wouldn't get the jab if you don't need to since it doesn't even prevent COVID in the first place, so you're at risk for both what COVID does during pregnancy and what the vaccine does during pregnancy

No. 263784

I would say to think on it more but if you really real like you should, go for it

No. 263799

Did any of you feel slight cramps that are kinda like period cramps for quite a while till week 20 and then they stop and you suddenly feel like you're not pregnant anymore? I have another ultrasound this Thursday but I'm freaking out for some reason and don't know if I should wait until then.

No. 263811

Might be round ligament pain? It's pain you get from the ligaments that hold your uterus up in your body cavity slowly stretching out as your uterus grows. Totally normal. Mine also went away around 20 weeks, most of my symptoms I had in the first trimester have disappeared other than being tired and having sore nipples. The second trimester is supposed to be the most comfortable/symptom free one.

No. 263942

I'm almost 38 weeks and having no signs of labor coming anytime soon despite nipple stimulation, raspberry leaf tea, dates, spicy stuff, etc. I feel so done being pregnant. Is there anything anons did to induce labor ASAP?

No. 263998

My husband is a lawyer and works for an old-school firm that will give him no time off after the birth of our kid. We have no friends or family within hundreds of miles. Any nonnies been through this entirely solo (until my husband gets home at 6:30pm)? Any tips? At least I work from home and get a couple weeks off..

No. 264036

Seconding this question, I'm in a similar boat and want to know how other nonnies dealt with this.

No. 264064

How bad is sleeping on your back during pregnancy really? At times I feel like I toss and turn and get 3 hours of sleep since the ONLY position that my back doesn't feel like hell in is my back

No. 264128

If you prop a pillow under you so you are at a slight angle it's fine. Most of the things I have read about it say that you will feel really bad if it actually is doing damage to you or the baby (shortness of breath, pain, dizziness) but it generally isn't the best position to be in. If you wake and find yourself laying on your back just shove a pillow under you or move onto your side.

No. 264129

If you’re comfortable like that, and you’re earlier in your pregnancy, it should be fine. You can try to sleep in more of a propped up/sitting position if you’re worried. The main reason it’s not recommended is because the weight can cut off blood flow to both you and the baby. Personally I’d rather be safe than sorry, but it’s your call.

No. 264158

I would have been in a similar boat but my husband was laid off right around when the baby was born (when everything went to hell because of covid). My main advice would be to have tons of easily prepared or ready made food (especially frozen food that you've frozen yourself) ready. Same for all other supplies but food is the main one.

I'm sorry you guys are in this situation, is it at all possible to get a doula or family member or something to visit you? I don't want to scare you or put you off but I was a total wreck after birth, I would have had a very hard time doing it alone.

No. 264240

my MIL said okra water helps

No. 264499

We've decided to start the journey, so I want a few questions as an amateur to all this.
How long do I have to work out for/eat well before we decide to properly try for a baby? I always said I wanted to go really organic and fit before I decide to get pregnant.

Also, once you got off birth control/iuds, how long did you have to wait until your body was baby ready?

No. 264509

The only thing you really should do a couple of months in advance of trying for a baby is to start taking prenatal vitamins, especially folic acid, you need a depot of it in your body to help your babies brain grow within the first couple of weeks so it's good to start in advance.

I got pregnant the second cycle off birth control, but it took me a while to ovulate each cycle, I ovulated on cycle day 32 when I got pregnant. Your periods will probably not be regular at first.

You don't need to be super fit or live organic to start trying, if you are overweight you should try to lose some weight because being overweight during pregnancy can increase risks of gestational diabetes, high birth weight in the baby etc. Also you might have a harder time ovulating if you are overweight or obese.

No. 264708

Thanks for your reply anon.
Are there any foods I should avoid while preparing?

No. 264919

Got my first belly stretchmarks at 30 weeks. I feel really depressed about it because they look so angry and red. I have been habitually moisturizing and hydrating. I know it's all just genetics but I feel so insecure and bad about myself. I woke up today and there were so many just overnight. I feel depressed because my mother is a cunt about things like stretchmarks and she is going to cry and nag me about how I should have done this or that or slowed down on the eating or how I am just a big fat piece of shit who is now ugly and gross. Mommy issues clearly. I've been very dependent on her during my pregnancy so it sucks.

No. 264926

No offense but you're growing a massive fucking belly wtf do you expect? Who the fuck gets pregnant thinking they won't get stretchmarks? So you're not in the 1% of miraculous anomalies that somehow avoid the most normal, expected and harmless side effect of pregnancy, big deal.

No. 264928

I knew I would get them, maybe it's the increase of hormones, but seeing them actually on me made me feel depressed. You start getting used to a huge foreign belly and then all of a sudden you have itchy sore and sensitive red streaks all over. My body just doesn't feel like it's mine anymore.

No. 264940

Mostly raw meat/fish and unpasteurized milk/cheese, undercooked eggs, unwashed vegetables and fruit. Anything that could give you food poisoning (Listeria) because your immune system is very low during pregnancy. Just buy a pregnancy book and read all about it, I recommend "What to expect when you're expecting" or the one from the Mayo Clinic. They have tons of info.

No. 264941

It's honestly brainwashing from all the instagram and youtub mommies with perfectly smooth stretch-mark free bellies. Some people are just super lucky and don't get any, the rest photoshop them out.

No. 265087

What places sell cute, non-polyester maternity clothing that isn't too expensive?

No. 265105

I got some on my stomach at like 38 weeks and I was absolutely distraught. My mother is a toxic cunt who's bragged about how fast her body bounced back after she had kids and how she never got stretch marks even after having 3 kids. I never told her I got them because I refused to give her the satisfaction but even though my son is almost 2 they still make me feel really sad. I felt like a failure for getting them, even though I rubbed stupid lotion on my belly for 9 months. Especially since people say it's genetics and my mom made sure I knew she didn't have them. I had my belly button pierced and it gave me these two really bad stretch marks that kind of shot up from where the hole is. The ones on my lower stomach faded and they really aren't that noticable, yours will fade too. After I gave birth though and saw my stomach I was so depressed I had to shower in the dark, but I had pretty severe PPD.

In cute news, today my baby gave me an actual hug for the first time and then my husband kneeled down to get one and he ran over and gave him a hug as well. It made my husband cry and it was really cute.

No. 265169

I got some cute summer dresses at H&M.

No. 265212

This is a really gross question, but were any of you anons super unhealthy before you decided to have a baby? I've been smoking for over 10 years and im quitting now and I still drink on weekends. I'm on a diet now and I go for walks every day. I know I'm not the best case scenario and I really want to try harder but I always assume that women start from really healthy places before they have kids and I just feel so… unhealthy and sad. Is it still possible to have kids just coming out fresh of this lifestyle?
Thanks all

No. 265283

So many unhealthy people go on to have normal healthy babies. If you are concerned though, I would advise being clean from substances for atleast 3 months before trying to conceive. Start taking prenatals in this 3 month time period as well. You should be OK. Watch out for the alcohol because even minimal amounts during pregnancy can affect your baby.

No. 265340

Toxic moms who claim they bounced back are liars. My grandma-in-law and MIL both never shut up about how great they looked after kids. Found some actual pictures and MIL had complete lunch lady arms and was built like a brick after giving birth, continued to gain more weight and is death fat. GIL was similar but she did actually lose the weight but definitely was far far from the fit bombshell she described herself to be kek. Always take older narcs who claim they were super hot back then with a grain of salt

No. 265370

I don't think it's always a toxic thing. I think in the same way that women 'forget about the pain of childbirth' that with the passing of time women have a tendency to forget alot of the negatives that happened around the birth of a child in general. That your memories get replaced with rosier versions of that time overall. Natures built in way to keep you coming back for more pregnancy.

I've witnessed friends who went through all sorts of struggle in the beginning and they just forget it all later on. It's a whole thing. Women suffering with post-partum sadly don't get blessed with the same handy amnesia that helps others cope.

Tbh you coming onto a thread about babies and talking about lunch lady bodies and being built like a brick after birth is the last thing any post-partum anon needs to read if she's having a rough time.

No. 265578

File: 1653226275519.jpg (1.21 MB, 1600x1075, dad and kids.jpg)

For those who have had children, at what age did the baby start to have interest in dad? Was it right away, or after a while? Other than making time for skin to skin, are there other ways to strengthen the father-child bond?

No. 265935

My ovulation was around the 14th. My cup size has gone up significantly in just a few days, at least two sizes and they're "filled out," even my partner commented. This is fairly abnormal because I've never had breast swelling or increase in size that sometimes accompanies mensural symptoms. I've also had flat or small flabby chest my whole life regardless of being under or overweight. My butt and thighs have changed shape and are wider also, though it's not as drastic. I've felt a light general nausea as well, but no vomiting. As of the last 3 days, I'm eating for two. I can feel my digestion has slowed down. I've been eating lots of junk food up until recently; my body is telling me "no" and craving natural proteins like steak and yogurt. Symptoms shouldn't be this early, right? I don't know what to expect. It's too early to take a test.

No. 265956

Progesterone increases both before your period and if you are pregnant and causes the exact same symptoms. The first symptom of a pregnancy is a positive pregnancy test, if you are pregnant enough to have symptoms, you are pregnant enough to test positive. Everything else is in your head.

No. 265993

My mom looked better, but that's because she quit smoking when she got pregnant. Smoking prevented her from doing sports before, so she was really excited to try them after I was born. She got into kickboxing, swing dancing, riding, and fishing, so she was more fit than she was when she smoked, plus she gained a cup size after the pregnancy. I used to think it was hot air when she said she looked better after kids, but I compared pictures and she was telling the truth.

TL;DR, it's possible to look better after pregnancy so long as it coincides with other major positive changes.

No. 266777

File: 1653788034702.jpeg (55.14 KB, 474x631, af5f7966cae9e6020c92b8a00717d8…)

>boobs grow from barely B to D cups
>one of them is bigger than the other

No. 266778


Nonna, I smoked for 17 years, had EDNOS for 4 years, which caused me to have no period for a whole year. I smoked weed and drank fairly regularly, although not heavily. Granted I biked and walked a lot and ate well once my EDNOS was resolved.

It took me 2 years to fall pregnant in my early 30s. Honestly, I thought I couldn't get pregnant. But it happened when things kind of settled down and my anxiety dropped. I quit smoking within 2 weeks and drinking right away. My pregnancy went well, aside from a few episodes of light bleeding, and my baby is healthy.

Tldr: it is never too late for a positive change. Idk about how corny this is.

No. 266970

Thanks anon. Its good to know there are others out there who dont come from perfectly clean, routine lifestyles. I'm beginnning my weight loss journey now coupled with more vitamins etc and no drinking/smoking.

No. 266995

File: 1653882212845.jpeg (7.18 KB, 307x164, images.jpeg)

I love breastfeeding so much. Seeing my baby be so comfy and loved while nursing brings me joy and contentment unlike anything Ive ever known. I used to hate my body so much, I thought it was disgusting and dirty. But it did this amazing thing of nourishing my babies. I may not have the most toned or beautiful body, but it can do something so wonderful and for that I love it.

My six-month old is my last baby and I'm trying to soak up every moment of it. Sorry for being sappy, nonnas

No. 266997

File: 1653882630012.jpg (13.7 KB, 410x299, 7ec94d22cfee3438ee8dbed5ada811…)

This is so sweet, wow.

No. 267010

Baby thread is best. Ngl. I have baby fever but I don’t think I would ever have the money that a baby lifestyle would have.

No. 267023

I love babies, it really makes me believe there is innocence in this world. If I could, I would protect every child from cruelty and give them safety and love. I know I'm not fit to be a mother, maybe I will never be but discussions about motherhood still interest me. During times when my baby fever is particularly high, I can get crazy kek

No. 267037

I am 24 weeks now and starting to feel quite pregnant, my bump is pretty big already and I am starting to be really uncomfortable while sleeping with leg and hip pain. I tried a pregnancy pillow but it doesn't really work for me, it just annoys me at night and makes turning over from side to side harder since I can't sleep on my back anymore.

The thing that is stressing me out the most right now is that we can't find a new apartment. We currently still live in my 1-bedroom student apartment and there is no space for two people let alone three. We have been searching for months, we have more than enough money to get a 3-4 bedroom, no debt, no pets, but we keep getting rejected. There are so many people looking for apartments right now due to the refugee crisis (Europe) and the landlords can choose between 100 applicants and we never make the cut. Last week one landlord gave us hope and invited us to sign a contract only to change their mind last minute and say they want to keep looking for other applicants… It makes me so frustrated I could cry every day because I feel like we will be stuck here forever with a baby in this enclosed space.

No. 267040

Answering to your latter issue, don't worry anon so many people have tiny places when they have a baby and the thing is, your baby won't be walking until they hit a year or more anyway so it'll just need a place to lie down most of the time which doesn't require much space. You've got plenty of time to find a place, it took my parents half a year this year to get approved for an apartment but they eventually did. Just make sure to send out those applications on the daily.

No. 267046

It's so hard not to get discouraged, especially with all the pregnancy hormones. My husband also doesn't speak the local language (he moved to this country for me and is still learning) so it's all up to me to find a new place to live for us and talk to all the landlords, prepare all the documents etc. I won't give up, but it just feels so hard and impossible right now.

No. 267220

Why is it SO HARD to be a parent nowadays? EVERY fucking product/ parenting advice/ whatever will at the same time, murder your child while also murdering your kid if you don't get it. There's no right from wrong anymore, one doctor will say your kid NEEDs this thing and then the next is ready to call CPS on you if you give them said product

That's not all, milestones are so weird and insanely high, you get stink eyes if you question why they need a ton of vaccines before their first birthday (I'm not antivax but there's no doubt adding this amount of vaccines for things they won't even be exposed to is ridiculous) baby products are insanely expensive and some strollers are in the literal thousands like wtf you're expected to be on your ass paranoid 24/7, expected to have a job while also raising your kids, making mom friends is now harder than it's ever been thanks to societal standards and the fact everyone's just become too freaking lazy to socialize, can't go out to places that are kid friendly since everyone thinks you're mommy fucking dearest if your baby cries for a single minute before taking care of it. My baby isn't even here yet and I'm already stressing over the fact that it seems like so many products and stuff are like "you MUST buy this… Jk it will kill your kid" medicines, dock a tot, diaper pails, etc just to name a few

No. 267222

I don’t have children yet myself but you put all my fears into words. I’m not ready for the 21st century “mommy culture”, I definitely resonate with being concerned over how you can get two (if not more) totally different answers on seemingly simple questions, and people going to extreme lengths to moralize THEIR answer. I have pets and already see this in pet-culture, I imagine it’s 100x worse with babies/kids.

No. 267226

I think it depends a lot on where you live. I would encourage anyone to get out of the big cites if you can. People in the cities are genuinely neurotic and mentally ill nowadays, especially in academic environments. If you want to meet normal people you gotta go to smaller towns where all the insanity hasn't quite caught up with them yet (and hopefully never will).

No. 267227

Samefag to add that you should get off social media. I have honestly not heard much about any of this but I also don't browse instagram or TikTok, I assume that's where most of this insanity comes from.

No. 267236

there's a childless thread already. don't be insensitive especially when someone is asking for advice.

No. 267249

Sorry I didn’t mean to be insensitive, I just wanted to share that I thought that was a really well worded post. I plan on having children after I get married next year and I’ve had a lot of the same thoughts that she wrote about.

No. 267263

I lived in small rural areas all my life and moved to a smallish suburb and it's exactly like this

No. 267274

Deep breathes Noni. Babies are more durable then you would believe. They’re built to survive for the most part. If your a burgerfag avoid formula and premade baby food just given the recent FDA scandals. I bought a food steamer and blender from a womens only company and just made my own. It was ten out ten a good decision. Just threw it in my own little jars and I’m the fridge.
Focus on climbing and sensory. Stay away from screen time other than 1-3 hours a day even if it’s educational there’s concerning studies on that and remember to keep yourself high nutrients most of that babies heath outcomes come from you right now. Like their teeth quality and density.
Parenting culture is shit. I would avoid it I’m sorry. People think it’s insane I take my kiddo outside every day like we didn’t do that kids ourselves?

No. 267286

That's what my dad did when he raised me! He'd cook my baby food himself (he was a chef).
You should read up on how parents raised kids in medieval and Renaissance times. Kids are REALLY easily entertained. As for products, I doubt you'd need even half of what is touted towards parents nowadays. You can probably find most of it second-hand and still in good condition. Children have been living and playing in dirt and grass and whatnot for thousands of years.

No. 267561

oh fuck off, you're not allowed to have a take on this even when you're agreeing? You're literally just as neurotic.

No. 267562

Just do only what your instinct tells you. Let your kids be in the woods often and try to not give them too many of things that didn't exist 100 years ago and you'll be fine.

No. 267613

Anyone here had IVF? I fear its going to happen to me when I decide to go for a baby and honestly I'm scared. It also feels so medical and unnatural to me in a sense which is awful to say I know. Can IVF be prevented?

No. 267626

Uh, what exactly do you mean? It's not a medical condition or something to be prevented, it's something you choose to do.

No. 267629

Just don't get it then?

No. 267662

isn't it the option people take when they can't conceive naturally? im just worried if I will have to take this option.

No. 267663

You could get a fertility test, otherwise it's just a matter of the age you start trying

No. 267670

Unless you're already 35+ and not planning on trying anytime soon I wouldn't worry about it

No. 267752

is anyone else overdue? I'm literally only 3 days past my due date and get daily texts from at least 10+ people on baby watch. I'm not even mad I'm overdue I just feel rushed and like I'm not "trying hard enough" to put myself in labor. People were talking about induction literally days BEFORE my due date. How do I deal with impatience ?

No. 267768

My kid was born a week late and don’t feel bad anon, just means they like it up in there and also gives you more time to nes

No. 267774

Honestly nonna tell those baby watchers to sod off. Eat some dates and have some raspberry leaf tea, but don't stress yourself out about 'not doing enough to start labour'. Baby comes when it's ready and depending on the length of your cycle that could easily be at 42+ weeks.

No. 267804

>daily texts from at least 10+ people on baby watch
How do you handle this? I'm in second trimester only and I have a MIL that was already nosy before but she asks constantly about when the next doctors appointments are, what happened in them etc. She got "fake upset" that I didn't tell her immediately when I felt the movements. As a super private person and serial ghoster and this only increasing as the baby gets bigger I'm really not looking forward to this, might throw phone just away for some days really

No. 267807

I really want to give birth naturally but I am so terrified of what to expect. I have a pretty average pain tolerance and I don't have a super strong mindset like other natural hardcore mommies. I don't know how to gain confidence that I can do it.

No. 267818

Tbh I just don't respond or give brief and short responses to closer people. I feel like most people understand I'm heavily pregnant and don't feel like talking to them

My MIL is a headache and was like that at the beginning of my pregnancy too, very controlling, telling us to get new doctors when doctors didn't preach "what she knows" (ex: she said doctors were quacks if they told me not to eat deli meat or put stuffed animals in the crib), went as far as cursing out my husband because we would update others but not her first kek even tried to make the pregnancy announcement herself. She's no contact now for other reasons but definitely see it as a warning, toxic MILs who will make your pregnancy about themselves will add unnecessary stress and no one needs that

No. 267838

I'm on a similar boat to another anon. I want to give birth naturally, but partner is absolutely set against it and is afraid for me. I want to ask my grandmother's congregation to help me, but I'm not on good terms with her as of the moment. She doesn't even know. I couldn't tell her since I'm unmarried, but it's not for lack of want from my partner, we'd just get better government benefits by remaining "single." Partially, this is what our falling out was over, her commentary on children of members of her church doing the same. She lives in la-la land and thinks $9 for her telephone line each month is expensive. Never worked a day in her life, stay-at-home mom of one whom she raised poorly. Lives off of social security in a paid-off home. Her husband literally took care of everything.

No. 267841

It's not the most pleasant feeling in the world, but being able to walk immediately afterwards is a bonus. The IV pain meds don't do anything, or at least tgey don't do shit for you if you have back labor. If you have back labor, just pray that everything goes quickly. Red raspberry leaf tea the last couple of weeks before you're due.

No. 267843

I feel the same. I used to be in the camp "Just give me everything you got, doc" until I actually read up about the pros and cons of medicated vs natural birth and just the fact that tearing is so much more likely and severe when having an epidural vs natural birth really makes me want to give natural birth a try. Plus you have to get a catheter (infection risk) and can't move around at all with an epidural, duh because you are basically paralyzed. They also say once you had one intervention, more are to follow, it's like a spiral. I just want to be able to move around and feel my body during the process. If the pain is too much you can still get an epidural.

I just keep telling myself that women have been doing this for thousands of years and you will barely remember the pain because of the rush of hormones, you just gotta get through it somehow.

No. 267850

Ahah, no. Cut off point for an epidural is 7cm dilated. Gravity is your god. Do not lay back during birth. Do stretching exercises around the opening for a few weeks or so before the birth to keep everything pliable.

No. 267876

I know that you can't get an epidural anymore towards the end, but you can try going through the contractions natural at first and see how you feel and if you can't stand it you can still get an epidural, most women are in labor for a couple of hours and not immediately dilated 7cm.

How do you stretch for birth?

No. 267886

To drop my own experience with natural birth here: Does it hurt? Yes. Was it the be all end all of pain? No. I think various circumstances can play into making it worse (baby’s position, your position, the length of the birth itself, etc), but in my case it definitely was not the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I’ve had worse ovarian cysts. I do want to mention that I had a water birth though. I feel like if I had went through the same experience, but lying on my back with my legs in the air, it would’ve been so much worse. I was allowed to move around and change positions, and even help catch my baby when they came out. Natural births are the norm in my country, and epidurals are exceedingly rare. Leading up to the birth I just reminded myself that women here, and in many parts of the world, are giving birth naturally every day and living to tell the tale (and then do it again!)

I absolutely got the impression from birth information in English that I was insane and would “definitely regret” not getting pain killers though. It made me think twice, but I’m ultimately glad I didn’t pay the out of pocket $1000 usd equivalent for an epidural.

No. 267904

I really hope this doesn't spark any off topic arguments but do any milk donors know why some places don't accept milk from vaccinated moms? I'm a milk donor and it seems like banks and people on FB always request unvaccinated. I also had COVID during pregnancy would that affect it too?

No. 267906

Jumping in to say I did a natural water birth and it was probably the most intense experience of my life. I would absolutely do it again that way if I changed my mind and wanted another child. The risks of epidurals and outcomes is part of what originally led me to the months of reading that formed my decision, but I found the German mothers of woe really interesting for some history!

No. 267907

Because the antibodies from you can pass through the milk and the vaccine isn’t approved and most likely won’t be by the FDA (assuming you’re in burgerland). You’re an unknown risk so to be safe some places just dismiss you off the bat.

No. 267910

Ah gotcha, would it still be safe to donate/feed if I had covid during pregnancy? I know some people on Facebook specifically look for moms who had breast milk while sick for antibodies

No. 267919

The red cross also doesn't accept blood donations from people who have been vaccinated to use in treatment of covid patients. They are especially looking for people who have natural antibodies and are unvaxed. Really makes you think.

No. 267924

It's bizarre since mom groups and other places will bully the fuck out of the unvaccinated but then beg us for our milk as if we were just walking tits or something

No. 268015

I really wish I could have a water birth but nowhere near me offers such an experience. Maybe with my next baby I'll just pop them out in my bathtub, but I am too anxious to not have my first in a hospital.

No. 268094

Does your hospital offer a birthing ball? A nice cushy shower mat to sit on in the shower before you go while you’re still in early labor for normally at least a few hours is also stuff I’d recommend that was very helpful and felt good.

No. 268155

Is being in your early 30s too old to start trying?

No. 268206

No, around 30 is where most women start to have their first baby nowadays.

No. 268265

Kek. Feels good to be a pureblood.

No. 268266

I think the epidural is bad because it might affect the baby and also I don't agree with inducing the dilation either - it makes sense for the hospital and for you to not wait so long but maybe view the birth like the rise of the sun. That naturally, there is no way to block/halt it and also no way to speed it up. Just be patient and calm and relaxed. Mothers have brought children into the world for hundreds of thousands of years, just be calm and let it happen.

No. 268332

No, it's the best age. You are usually more financially stable, in a better job/career and are married.

No. 268335

That's super sweet anon. Wishing nothing but happiness and health for you and your new baby.

No. 268659

I'm getting induced Thursday and it feels like NOTHING is working for natural induction. Raspberry tea, walking miles a day, swinging, pineapple, etc. Not even bothering to dilate me or soften my cervix

Although I did try the German labor cocktail and it DID help. I tried it last week and woke up with contractions and with the baby in the much lower position, I tried it again a few days ago and lost my mucus plug that morning. My body doesn't react to laxatives so I didn't poop/have nausea, barely any bad contractions. I definitely wanna try it again but I'm scared since so many people are saying castor oil is the devil. I also feel like if I'm not reacting badly to castor oil it should be fine? What do you anons think

No. 268701

I think you could easily swap out the castor oil for coconut oil in that cocktail, all the best I hope it goes well

No. 268703

How many weeks are you? It doesn't hurt to wait until 41 weeks and some days unless you have a high risk pregnancy. Unfortunately, most of the time baby just comes when baby wants to. If the concoctions are working for you, I would try it again, but please keep track of your baby's movements. Sometimes inducing with potions like that stresses the baby out. Wish you luck!

No. 268725

I am having my gestational diabetes test tomorrow and I am scared. I am not overweight and I eat very healthy, almost never eat any sugary treats, tons of fiber and veggies, but I have been craving fruit so bad my entire pregnancy and maybe I eat too much fruit. I also am very thirsty and have to pee all the time, but those are also pregnancy symptoms.. I am predisposed to GD because I have PCOS. I know you can get it despite doing everything right and perfect if you are just unlucky but I would feel like such a failure and bad mom if I got it.

No. 268729

I'm 41+2 currently. Technically high risk risk due to other factors and it was actually recommended that I get induced at 40 weeks on the dot. I'll definitely try coconut oil or low amounts of castor. Thanks anons

No. 268941

Supposedly you can use evening primrose oil caps intravaginally. Keep up with the red raspberry leaf tea, it'll speed up post partum. Ask them to strip your membranes

No. 268944

If you're predisposed and have done what you can there's no reason to feel like a bad mom about it. Shit happens that we can't control

No. 269250

File: 1654795030669.gif (25.84 KB, 220x292, cat-cats.gif)

Just got my results back and I don't have gestational diabetes!

I am so glad my hard work eating healthy is paying off, I don't even have iron deficiency, so happy right now! This is such a weight off my chest.

No. 269255

Congrats, nonny! Happy for you!

No. 269265

Have any of you dealt with gender disappointment? I currently don't have children and don't plan on having them until a few years. The problem is that I have planned out every little thing about my life from where I want settle down to the type of car I want to own, I mean it's a lot of stuff I've been thinking about. I plan on having boy/girl/boy and that being ruined by things I can't control makes me feel anxious. I know many of you are going to say something like "you should be grateful that your kid came out healthy" I know I will but there are some things you can't help feeling upset over. I just don't know anymore

No. 269275

I'm gonna be honest, I wanted a boy for my first child but I am having a girl and I was a little bit disappointed at first. Not even cause I don't want a girl at all, I totally do, but I wanted to have an older brother for my younger kids just because I always dreamed of having an older brother to protect me (I am an only child). Now I have no idea how the dynamic with an older sister will be. I also had some cringe thoughts about wanting to give my husband a son etc, cause I know that a lot of men wish for a son.

BUT my husband is actually so excited to have a little girl, he was telling me from the day I told him that I was pregnant that he knew it was a girl, he could totally feel the girl energy and he was so smug about it when it turned out to actually be a girl (I bet on boy just based off old wife tales). I think he is super happy to have a little girl that will look up to him and be his princess, so now I can't wait to see him hold our little girl and be all adorable with her, I was a daddy's girl when I was a child and have a good relationship with my dad, so I hope they will be the same. I also started to watch some mommy vloggers who have baby girls and they are all so precious and adorable and honestly, girl clothes are WAAAAY cuter and I get to play Barbies with her again and kind of re-live my childhood a bit, etc.

I still hope to have a boy too, but I think next time I won't be disappointed if it's a girl again cause I plan to have them close together and if it's another girl they can be best friends and share a room. Whatever you end up getting, there really is no negative outcome really and you will be happy about it cause it's your baby and you just love them so much.

No. 269281

There’s lot of things you can’t control in life. If it’s only baby’s gender then you’ll probably get over it but there’s countless other things that you can’t control. I suggest that you work with your control issues in general. It’s not a healthy mindset, especially if you have kids

No. 269314

I'm an older sister who protected her little brother from bullies many times. Older siblings look out for their younger siblings no matter what. I'm happy for you and your husband, I wish you all the best!

No. 269396

I was so scared to have a boy in the beginning of my pregnancy (thankfully little one is a girl). I'm not sure if it was hormones, but before I found out I would cry about having to raise a son and how disturbing puberty would be. I know a lot of people say it shouldn't matter but I think it's natural to want one gender over another. I was talking to my mother about it the other day and she said the same line about the baby just needs to be healthy, which is true, but just let me vent about it and tell you about my idealized dreams!

No. 269401

> Older siblings look out for their younger siblings no matter what
cringe. many older sibs are jealous bullies, it really depends.

No. 269402

I'm sorry but that's not normal and you sound psycho tbh

No. 269403

I want a moid kid so I can brainwash him

No. 269406

Older brothers just molest and pick on the younger siblings ime so a sister is better

No. 269408

Tbh? I lowkey feel the same way. I always wanted a boy more than a girl, but I want to have at least both… potentially at least a couple of both.
I want my girls to be very strong, low tolerance for bullshit, independent little feminists, and honestly it makes my heart warm to think about my little boys being weak willed and needy momma's boys who have separation anxiety. Of course that's not healthy, but I'd rather have a sweet harmless loving little moid than a typical moid that hates and beats women.

No. 269411

You two are fucked up. Seek help

No. 269412

Unfortunately you sound psychotic which is probably a sign that any child you have, but male especially, will end up being weird and psychotic as well

No. 269414

Imagine being her child lmao. Who the fuck would ever want a creepy ass woman who gets off on her kids being "needy momma's babies" as a mother. I don't know what's worse, thinking coddling a moid child will prevent them from being influenced by society and growing into adult moids, or even treating a moid child like that in the first place. Like no matter if it's moid or not, no child deserves to be made weak-willed just because their mom fears what they might become if they aren't intentionally emotionally crippled.

No. 269416

What the fuck? I feel like these are the type of parents who develop emotionally incestous relationships with their kids.

No. 269449

This is a typical response most people have to the idea that a specific gender can be preferred and it's just unrealistic. It is normal to be uneasy or "fearful" of raising the opposite sex, especially as someone who never grew up with any exposure to males and their development in our society. Even if I had a son, it doesn't mean I would not love and care for him as much as a daughter. Why is it psycho to admit that raising a male is somewhat daunting to me?

No. 269451

You know Ed Gein was a momma's boy, right? You're gonna raise a fucking serial killer.

No. 269454

It's not, that anon is just weird. It's not like you are the other anon who wants to groom her little boy into being fucked up. I want a boy, but I am still scared of having a son who goes through puberty because I'd be scared he would become a coomer and I'd have to have embarrassing talks with him about leaving cum-socks around or whatever, but then I just think "I will make my husband deal with that", just like I will be the one teaching my girls about their periods and feminine hygiene etc.

No. 269457

>little boys being weak willed and needy momma's boys who have separation anxiety. Of course that's not healthy, but I'd rather have a sweet harmless loving little moid than a typical moid that hates and beats women.

Yeah he is gonna grow up to hate and beat women. All men raised like that resents and hate their mother and men can't separate the feeling they have for their mom from other women. He is gonna be incel as hell. The stronger and toughed a man is raised to be, the less likely it is that he turn out bad. Men need to feel strong and secure not to lash out and harm those physically weaker than them. He will also never have a fulfilling relationship in the future bc he will never dare put his foot down to you and cut the umbilical cord, and his relationship will be a triad of him, his wife and you, which no woman wants. This is some jocasta shit.

No. 269464

I wouldn't wish being the eldest daughter in an ethnic household on my worst enemy kek

No. 269470

Weird assumption to make, we are white.

No. 269512

We? Uhh okay…also I was referring to myself

No. 269513

sage ur shit please

No. 269515

How about you tongue my anus(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 269516

please never have kids

No. 269529

Nah you should coddle your daughters and bully your sons. The day your sons end up beating and raping women, get ready to disown them like the lil'mistake they are.

No. 269532

Yeah because that's not gonna make your son hate women lmao. None of you should be parents

No. 269536

Your son is just gonna turn into one of the moids we all hate so much here regardless so might as well set up a hierarchy in which he can't and won't win.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 269540

Alright see how well that works out when he turns 14 and suddenly towers over you, you deserve to get bullied right back(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 269545

I love how momchans are fine with violence against women as long as a son does it.

No. 269554

File: 1654884184482.png (261.25 KB, 500x369, tumblr_n3ub6neQoD1r7ksqyo1_500…)

I'm a girl mom and I love it, even though I had every "boy" old wives tale in the book. No one was really disappointed except my mom but she's kooky anyway. I hope to have only girls in the future

No. 269556

Stop derailing the baby-thread you fucking /r/childfree femcel freaks. This is not the thread to take out your manhate. Go away.

No. 269562

Ignore them and report. It’s bait. Not real Noni. Take a deep breathe.

No. 269564

Another reason to not take you seriously.

No. 269565

nta but how was that other post bait while >>269540 isn't?

No. 269567

I'm not even a mom and I never said I was ok with that, I said if she bullies her child she deserves to get bullied back because bullies always deserve to get a taste of their own medicine. It's funny you think bullying a child is okay just because it's a moid??

No. 269568

They're so fucking weird

No. 269591

File: 1654891142869.png (316.26 KB, 468x468, 9CA96028-5709-4BD6-8FBE-7ED2DE…)

The point is it all is. Report ignore and post what you want to talk about.

No. 269671

You are femcels tho. You will never have a husband, let alone kids so why do you bother to make up these weird fantasies about what you would do if you ever had a boy child and how you would abuse him? Just hide this thread if it triggers you so much and leave the reproductive, functional people alone.

No. 269674

File: 1654941273296.jpg (55.64 KB, 355x570, ImageHandler.jpg)

I'm only 10 weeks pregnant so I'm definitely getting carried away with ideas about the future - but I wonder what you guys think.

Do you think you should permit children access to technology and social media and the internet in general? and how much? I tried to have this conversation with my boyfriend, but it was difficult, and I'm surprised how passionate we both felt about this issue.

I feel like we should let our children use things like computers, phones, tablets, video games etc. I know that there is an idea that we are too saturated by technology and media entertainment and that we should be abstaining more from this sort of thing in our lives - and I actually agree with that more than most people - but the thing is, there is so much of what our culture is at the moment that is stored almost exclusively on the internet. If you don't have access to a phone or a computer, you are basically not a part of society in the same way as other people are. It sounds superficial now that I write it out like this, the words were coming to me much better last night. But what I mean is that it's a new world, we live in the future, we do things on the internet now, for better or worse it's a part of our lives and we are in the world with it.

My boyfriend takes a very hardline approach to the idea - basically in his mind technology is poison and kids shouldn't be using it. Again, basically I agree ! I know what he's thinking - ESPECIALLY when you consider porn and all that shit. But I think of our child going to school and there being like 80% of what they're talking about that they don't know about, totally coming from an isolated space. There is I am sure something valuable to that as well and who I am to say that it would not be worth it in the end, but I can't help but feel like if you are the sort of parent who deprives your child of access to technology, well then you are kind of a luddite and its more rooted in your own ideas of phone usage and other stuff.

No. 269683

The sad truth is that if you don't let your children access technology themselves, they will probably do it with their friends when you aren't around to supervise. That's what I and every other kid with restrictive or tech-illiterate parents did in my town and it's unavoidable unless every play date happens at your house.

It's also alienating being the only one in class who doesn't get cultural references and those children ime either harness their cluelessness to pursue their own hobbies or fall really hard into catching up on all the media they missed. I think it's better to teach kids how to have healthy, age-appropriate relationships with technology and cultivate a reputation as a "cool" parent who children can come to with tech woes. Better they feel they can confide in you without fearing anger or punishment because the last thing you want is your child talking to strangers online and hiding it from you.

No. 269690

I agree with your boyfriend. Our kids will not have phones/tablets or access to a computer until they are teenagers and then it will only be in a controlled space like a family computer in the living room. We will not show them any media made after 2010 cause it's all crap, we will keep a harddrive of movies and tv-shows that we have vetted for them to watch. Mostly stuff we watched as kids. My kids will play outside in the garden and ride bikes and swim in the pool, like I did as a child. Child appropriate activities and playing with toys that will nurture their development, not play "Elsa pimple popper" on the tablet.

I don't give a single fuck it "everyone is on Tiktok and if you aren't then you're uncool", I will teach my kids that those things don't matter and that people who spend their days on social media watching Tiktok dances are retards and you should be glad to not be brainwashed like them. We also plan to homeschool or microschool with neighboring families who think like us.

There is no way I will ever let my kids be groomed by social media and big corporations and taught that if they like barbies as a boy they are actually girls and that becoming an OnlyFans whore is a valuable career. I know they will probably have friends that will have phones and show them shit on it, but my kids will be educated enough to deal with that and confident enough to not be sheep like them.

No. 269691

>That's what I and every other kid with restrictive or tech-illiterate parents did
But you are not tech illiterate. You have the benefit of knowing what goes on on the internet, our parents didn't. If you still let your kids grow up with unlimited smartphone access despite that then you are retarded.

No. 269706

Wait, so do you already have kids or is this just what you're planning for hypothetical kids? Because… yeah, good luck.

No. 269708

File: 1654950442725.jpg (103.76 KB, 920x616, shitty_parenting.jpg)

Thanks. Good luck with your kids too, I'm sure they will turn out great being raised by TikTok and Youtube.

No. 269714

Good luck anon, because pre teens and teens are rational human beings who will definitely understand your reasoning and will be glad to be excluded from their peers to not be brainwashed. There's no "being educated enough" for kids to understand the implications of social media etc, their brains just don't work that way and won't until their in their mid 20s. It'll be your responsibility to limit and supervise their access, but they will only resent you for being isolated from what their friends have access to. And they will most definitely just go and access social media etc via their friends. Then again if you're going for homeschooling you're dooming them to social isolation anyway and they'll struggle to be fully functional human beings later in life.

No. 269716

Who is saying anything about that? It's telling that you didn't answer my question. I'm just saying that in your fantasy, your children seem to have no will of their own, which isn't how raising kids works in reality.

No. 269728

What does being a tranny have to do with YouTube being dangerous, besides the fact that this tif is also chronically online and probably gave her kid a learning disability by using tranny drugs while pregnant

No. 269730

FTM stands for "first time mom"

Maybe you should have read my comment a little better then because I said "until they are teenagers". I fully intend to educate them about the internet when they are old enough to understand it, but I will still have safe-guard measures in place to protect them. You also missed or ignored the part where I said we intend to micro-school them with neighboring kids, which means they will have plenty of friends and will not be isolated. You can send your kids to public school where they will be educated to be LGBTQIP+ and HIV+ by their quirky genderqueer teachers who are allowed to get them access to HRT without your knowledge if you want, as long as they are not seen as uncool by their peers for not knowing the latest TikTok dance, that's all that matters, right?

No. 269731

it honestly has everything to do with them. join any public discord server about even the most benign thing and youll see trannies grooming kids in every channel. youtube is full of them trying to convince kids to become trans. it honestly goes pretty deep with the link between puperty blockers and pedophilia too but im not trying to shizopost too much. but yea. male trannies are behind a lot of the grooming and cp distribution on youtube, tiktok and discord. i dont blame anons when they say that their child will have zero internet access

No. 269736

kaitlyn tiffany really did a number on this thread…

No. 269738

I see you completely missed the part where I wrote "restrictive" despite greentexting it. There were plenty of parents who knew what occurred on the internet and kept their children from accessing it. Those kids just went over to friend's houses with parents who were lax with the home computer and engaged with dangerous things on the internet anyway. The strictness of those parents only ensured that the children did not tell their parents what they encountered online. I sure didn't and I'd much rather my kids feel like they can come to me with questions when they're old enough to not need constant tech supervision.
But great way to read "teach kids how to have healthy, age-appropriate relationships with technology" as "let them grow up with unlimited smartphone access". It's almost like there's a difference between showing a child how to use your phone and letting them use it supervised for twenty minutes and slapping a phone into their tiny hands and leaving them alone with it for hours.

No. 269740

>he still uses femcel unironically
Moid detected. YWNBARW. You can't give birth and you have no business to do in the mom thread.

No. 269754

Mom's in the general tinfoil thread were talking about this as well

No. 269767

>you can send your kids to public school where they will be educated to be LGBTQIP+ and HIV+ by their quirky genderqueer teachers who are allowed to get them access to HRT without your knowledge if you want
Calm down with the tinfoil, also most people just don't have the time and money to do homeschooling, why are homeschooling parents so condescending about it?

No. 269771

It can also have negative social and intellectual affects if you don't do it right.

No. 269772

Its not tinfoil if it happens

No. 269774

It happens but definitely not in every single public school, I love the troon threads here but they are kinda fear mongering.

No. 269779

Samefag, I don't think restricting certain things is bad but also I think being too controlling about what they can and cannot do or think is how you end up with rebellious kids who do things behind your back because they want to experience the things their peers are. Not about that other anon specifically, this is just general stuff. If I ever have children I would restrict their internet access too, to a certain extent.

Basically, I just don't think either extremes when it comes to technology use are good. I wouldn't let my kids be on a phone/computer all day and I also wouldn't completely forbid it. Everything in moderation. Sorry if you saw how many times I reposted this lol.

No. 269782

Omfg your poor kids

No. 269784

If you live in any major city in the US or in liberal areas like California and you send your kids to public school then you can bet you they will talk to your kids about "gender identity" without your consent and if your kid shows any sign of being non-conforming they will send them to a counselor to help them "transition" behind your back and there will be at least one kid in their class that is being trooned out by their parents. Something like 30% of kids nowadays identify as queer, do you think that's accurate? No, they are being mass-groomed by teachers. The US is a fucking hellhole and the only way to escape the system is to homeschool or microschool together with other parents in your neighborhood.

No. 269785

As someone who was homeschooled and never went to any form of primary education all of these anons are gonna have socially retarded kids who can't relate to any of their peers because they didn't watch or do anything they did growing up so as adults they have no friends and just go to work and rot in their house 24/7

No. 269787

Don't wanna seem like I'm projecting, but I had a similar experience to yours and completely agree. So many things that can go wrong and stunt a child.

No. 269788

I went to public school and still had (and still have) all of those problems tbh.

No. 269790

Samefag, but I also remember hearing a couple of times about kids being socially stunted because of the virtual schooling they had to do in 2020. That was only a couple of months.
Not saying it can't happen in you're in public school, but I think it's more common for kids who were homeschooled.

No. 269791

Yeah there's a reason why homeschooling is mostly associated with fundies, tinfoilers and cringy right-wing/lolbertarian types of people, and teaching is a job you learn after all, not everybody I'd fit to be an instructor. Also I would have offed myself if I had to spend my entire day with my mom in my pre/teenage years, I don't think spending every waking moment with your parents and their friends is healthy either.

No. 269792

I'm already seeing this with my little sister who is attending the same high school I went too. The school was pretty decent but after a few years it hit the wall. Other kids were exposing her to BDSM and shit, like half of her friend group was in some sort of "alternative" relationship like poly, dom and sub, etc. they removed the vast majority of clubs and extracurriculars and kids don't do anything now outside of talk to people online and play Fortnite. Kids are being taught that mental health is basically an excuse to be a shit bag and so on.

No. 269795

Your child is going to grow up to be a socially retarded outcast. This will do nothing but cause them to rebel in the form of drug/alcohol abuse, smoking and vaping, promiscuity etc. The more you place unreasonable restrictions, the more they're going to hate your guts.

No. 269796

Well this is a happy and wholesome thread /s

No. 269798

as someone with parents who had a similar approach to yours: good fucking luck kek

No. 269799

Sure. And your child will learn how to hide under a table in case of an active shooter.

No. 269800

do you… do you not want your kids to do that? do you want them to go hug the active shooter?

No. 269801

This. Restricting technology is normal but refusing any modern media outside of a select bunch is too much and it will make it harder to socialize

No. 269802

Sorry your parents failed you, but do you even know what microschooling is? It's not just you and your kids sitting at home 24/7. It's literally going back to the "it takes a village" mentality of raising kids. One parent teaches math class, one parent teaches english, one parent teaches geography etc. depending on their field of expertise. you get together parents and kids from your local neighborhood and homeschool the kids together. That way each child gets socialized as well as special attention from the teacher that they need, something that you will NEVER get in a group of 30 kids. In most public schools teachers have too many kids to teach and they get left behind, that is not even considering the fucking awful grooming and pushing of agendas against the parents consent that is currently going on and will only get worse.

I can't blame those with antiquated views of homeschooling ITT, I used to think the same things, but there are absolutely ways to keep your kids out of public schools without socially isolating them from their peers. I don't know how you can live in the US and still think the public school system is in any way functional. Plus kids now have to be afraid to get shot by the fuck-ups who slip to the cracks.

No. 269803

maybe in your case do send your kids to public school, you seem to be too retarded to even follow a conversation

No. 269804

School isn't the only place shooters hang out, you know? You have a chance of getting shot and killed whether it be while grocery shopping, at the cinema, or simply walking down the street. Welcome to the united states

No. 269806

Sounds like a cult and parents trying their best to bullshit their way through a subject by reading a ton of Wikipedia articles aren't the same as teachers who were trained to teach that subject

No. 269808

>implying children can't get groomed or indoctrinated in this kind of group either
Again most people can't do it, when both parents work it's impossible to teach your child like at school, let alone a bunch of kids that you don't know.

No. 269809

Europe honestly feels like the only place where you can raise your kid to not become a social retard. Just settle when you have some money and make sure they don't frequent Islamists / woketards in general.

No. 269814

Are you kidding? Wokeshit in Europe is even worse lmao. They're much more accepting of trannies and prostitution than the US is

No. 269815

>teachers who were trained to teach that subject
lmao, have you been to a school in the US?

No. 269817

where exactly in Europe? because I can guarantee that few people in my European country tolerate that shit. Prostitution maybe among coomer scrotes and pick-mes, but trannies absolutely not. Then again, we don't really have Islamists here either. For now corruption is way more of a concern here than wokeshit The EU might try sticking its nose so there will probably be more and more attempts at shoving wokeshit in everyone's faces, but normies here will definitely not buy it, we are already distrustful enough of all our politicians.

No. 269819

Germany, France, Netherlands, Belgium etc. are very prostitution-friendly and Germany and France in particular are extremely tranny-friendly. But I could see an eastern European country not being the same way

No. 269820

I had the feeling France would repress tranny shit further but I guess not. Hoping my kids won't turn autistic. Not only special needs is a pain but detrooning them is gonna be hard.

No. 269822

Actually considering all the "macho" type misogyny in our country I can see the legalization of prostitution happening, honestly, unless the Church is vocal enough in its opposition, but it's been taken less and less seriously over time. But trannies? Nah, that will never happen. Our national identification numbers have the first digit indicate sex, which is also why it's really difficult to get your legal gender changed here since you'll also have to get a new identification number if approved. If the EU will at some point want us to change this to make it easier for the trannies it would surely cause a massive uproar.

No. 269824

Yeah, in Sweden they have books on sex positions in kindergartens. Here in Norway lgbt health centres are illegally giving hrt prescriptions to 15 year olds without their parenta knowledge

No. 269825

>in Sweden they have books on sex positions in kindergartens
I need a source on that.

No. 269890

See this is what terrifies me so much. What do you even do when they forcibly trans your child in school or indoctrinate it into some pro prostitution insanity? Fight back and they call you an abusive transphobe whorephobe homophobe enbyphobe queerphobe and you can get your child taken away

No. 269893

You're not even allowed to homeschool in most European countries, I guess you just suffer.

No. 269958

File: 1655049518219.png (162.83 KB, 1803x410, 1574190196273-1.png)

I'm going to laugh my ass off when he turns into pic related and kills you and the other females in his family.

No. 269967

His mother had an incestuous relationship with him. I get hugging but kissing at 14??? I feel most women who want sons super hard and keep him away from othet women are lowkey incestuous too. At the end, the boy will go mad and either hurt women or his mother. It's unhealthy for women to coddle their sons or treat them like bfs.

No. 269985

No offense, but I feel like you're being a bit paranoid and need to get off the internet. I'd imagine it depends if you like in a super woke area where all the teachers are older zoomers or young millennials but most people aren't trying to teach toddlers about 'how empowering onlyfans is' ,aside from some minor cases where it gets published in the news

No. 269988

Children aren't there to be your emotional crutch, they're their own independent humans with needs and desires, no matter if moid or not. You're both pieces of shit, this betterbe bait.

No. 269995

Nonna you can't protect and shelter your kids from every slightly possible threat, you have to teach them how to deal with them, that's the whole point of parenting. You know it can get worse in the future and these school shooter incel types won't be limited to schools either. What are you going to do, lock them in your house forever? I sympathize with you wanting to keep them away from social media and political bullshit, but there has to be a balance.

No. 270003

>until they are teenagers
Can none of you read?

No. 270050

File: 1655081803197.png (155.9 KB, 472x268, Screenshot_20220612-195507.png)

Does anyone have PTSD from elsagate?? I feel like I can't roam kids toys anymore without thinking of elsagate and feeling sick, I feel heavily restrictive towards every little game, toy or show my kids watch. I obviously don't let them have tablets or play games/watch shows I'm unfamiliar with or go on the internet unmonitored. I feel like I'm unable to watch Disney movies now without being hyper-aware of every little thing being part of the grooming scheme.

No. 270051

You seem quite caring and sensitive. The world is definitely a messed up place and I always have it in the back of my mind when i see children’s toys. But it’s good that you’re aware, for your kid’s sake. We have to bear the burden of knowledge for the younger ones. Focus on the good, stay close to God.

No. 270061

No, you sound overly worried. I understand wanting to protect what your kids watch, but Disney movies are pretty much all ok for them to watch, and toys are fine, just don't let them on social media or YouTube. It's important for kids to be made busy or else they'll get really bored and go on the internet.

No. 270067

Did anyone else experience a dark neck/armpits during pregnancy? I am pale so it makes me feel so self conscious. I tested negative for gestational diabetes so I don't think it's insulin resistance. I just want it to go away.

No. 270069

I worked with elementary school children and saw what a personal ipad experience is like for children. I was horrified that elsagate-esque content is so abundant. All of the recommended videos on their YouTube kids apps were extremely disturbing, fetishy, seizure inducing, or very blatantly consumerist. The worst part is that the kids I work with mimic what they see and it spreads strange behavior amongst them. Pure brain rot.

No. 270070

File: 1655097060500.png (Spoiler Image,2.2 MB, 1496x868, 27g09.png)

don't let them use those lolsurprise toys though

No. 270072

I like how she's basically blaming the kid's "whining" for her absolute failure and lack of introducing the most simple discipline lol pathetic

No. 270075

this looks like something my ex would jerk off to

No. 270080

The tiny penis LMAO

No. 270082

File: 1655100380262.jpeg (277.06 KB, 828x701, 1138DA6E-BE8F-4856-B4E3-C78F78…)

Congrats to all you nonnas who are starting families and welcoming babies into the world, I’m on the complete other end of the spectrum where I have insane anxiety around the idea of being pregnant. Any time I engage in any remotely unprotected sex I feel so scared and embarrassed afterward. Four weeks ago a guy I was seeing fingered me on the last day of my period and even that was enough to set me off because he’d been jerking off ten minutes earlier and I was panicking about cross-contamination or something. It was enough to make me rush to the pharmacy after work and do a pregnancy test first thing when I got home. It came back negative, shockingly.
I’m so scared that I don’t even think going back on hormonal bc will help because I know it’s not 100% effective, and thanks to breaks and stealthing condoms alone are completely out of the question. My only answer is to avoid men, which I’ve been doing pretty successfully for the past year, but even then the idea of meeting someone and him getting me pregnant the first time we sleep together scares me so badly that I don’t even want to date. I literally had a nightmare last night about having a fling with some influencer who ended up getting me pregnant and instead of terminating he convinced me to keep it and used me and our kid as his perfect little family vlog content mill.
If any of you can offer any advice: before you wanted to get pregnant, did you have any feelings like this? How did you manage them? Can you recommend any good books/online resources for not being overcome with fear of getting pregnant? Sorry to bring the mood down I know this might not be the right place but idk where else to go.

No. 270086

that sounds like anxiety/paranoia nonnie

No. 270089

I used to be afraid of getting pregnant until I tried to get pregnant and realized that it's not as easy as people make it seem. It took us a while to get pregnant even though we were fucking unprotected every single day for literally 3 months. There are only 3-4 days out of your entire cycle that you are fertile and the chance that egg and sperm meet and their genetic material creates a viable baby is still only 30%. I also used to be super sloppy with my pill in the months before we started trying because we were pretty much already planning on having a baby soon, but nothing ever happened despite me often missing 2 or 3 days in a row.

This isn't to say that accidents don't happen, but they are a lot lot lot lot more rare than we are made to believe. Looking back I can't believe I took the morning-after pill in the past that made me suicidal for two weeks when there was barely any chance of me getting pregnant then. The chances of you getting pregnant from fingering, even if there was some cum on his fingers are very slim. The semen need to be ejaculated into your uterus or else they don't reach the egg, they need to come out at full force to make the journey. They also die super fast outside of the body.

No. 270090

samefag to add that there is also no egg present to be fertilized on the last day of your period

No. 270102

Am I the only one who feels they actually look better vaginally/facially/body wise postpartum? Idk how to explain it but everything just looks better to me despite me looking almost exactly the same pre-pregnancy just with larger breasts and stretch marks. I definitely like how my vulva looks better than before too, it feels like the stitching from tearing got rid of the creases I had in my labia

No. 270117

I'm honestly surprised at the amount of fucking it takes when simply targetting the right period could be easy, unless youa ctually love catching stds before getting the baby there. I simply can't comprehend how you're willing to take cock everyday.

No. 270119

Catching STDS? From my husband? Are you projecting some sort of weird issue on me or something? Yeah I like to have sex, not just for the purpose of recreation. Nobody forces you to do the same. Idk why the fuck you can't stay out of this thread and have to insert your manhate absolutely everywhere.

No. 270120

Relax, I'm just asking since we don't know if he's cheating on you, which statistically multiplies the chances to catch the bug without you even knowing it.

No. 270122

You are implying that my husband is cheating on me with zero context because you're trying to pick a fight or you're a schizophrenic manhater. You literally come into this thread seething and trying to pick a fight.. why exactly? Cause other people are having relationships and babies and living happy normal lives? That must really chap your bitter ass.

No. 270126

Because cheating on women is a moid's specialty afaik. Also
>Cause other people are having relationships and babies and living happy normal lives? That must really chap your bitter ass.
See you in 3-5 months at your divorce and how you can no longer stand Jordan screaming in the living room.

No. 270127

I've generally been the same. I've had struggles where I was just about able to function myself so a baby would be unthinkable but then there's no access to abortion here so I was shitting myself after every sexual encounter no matter how protected it was.

Then I went on to reach a boiling point with muh depression and anxiety and I had a six month plan where I was going to end my life on a certain meaningful date. I was in a brand new relationship att and I came off of BC because of my suicide backup plan. I can't believe my own story lol. I didn't tell the guy. I was clearly not in my right mind for months. I had unprotected sex several times a day like you do when you're brand new with someone. Never got pregnant. Never killed myself either. I came to my senses and could not believe my behaviour… and my good luck in the end. I got on BC again and never told the guy my secret. It's like a bad trip when I think back to that period of my life and what my thought process was.

Don't write off BC or condoms, combine the two seeing as it's as much as you can do. Talk to the person prescribing you your chosen method of BC and see if they can recommend any reading material. I'm sure they get this alot. If you happen to have generalised anxiety too and it's not well treated that can obvs ramp up this type of worry too.

No. 270129

Nta but I'm a divorced woman whose marriage lasted a depressingly short time (childless marriage) But even I don't understand your level of bitterness. Yeah divorce rates are high and coparenting is becoming so common but people have to live and take risks and discern what's best for themselves. Put away your crystal ball if all your crystal ball can see is doom.

No. 270131

this is what my parents did with me and i have no hard feelings about it

thought the fact that i ended up here might speak for >>269795 kek

No. 270140

Can you project your childhood trauma somewhere else maybe? God you are pathetic.

No. 270142

I mean, that's the right amount of paranoia to have for an action that literally brings a new life into the world, more people should have that amount of foresight

No. 270145

panicking and doing a pregnancy test after being fingered isn't "the right amount of paranoia"

No. 270148

Is anyone else here absolutely terrified by seeing posts made by preteens or young teens about how much they hate their "abusive" parents for not letting them on hormones or puberty blockers or calling them by some ridiculous pronouns or name? It literally scares the shit out of me seeing 13 year olds wishing death upon their mom and making plans to run away or get hormones from shady online groomers. It makes me want to cry thinking about my baby daughter posting the same stuff about me someday because I don't want to call her "moss" or use star/starself pronouns

No. 270151

I'm hoping by the time my children will be teenagers the trans-trend will be mostly over. I can't see it lasting for several generations. I also think that most FTM's who troon out have been sexually abused in some way, so as long as you protect your daughters from men (never leave them alone with male relatives that are not the father, never any step-fathers etc.) and you try your best to monitor their internet use to keep them from getting groomed, the chances of them becoming fakebois are small.

No. 270152

The online fakeboi behavior is extremely uncommon among stable, well-adjusted girls with good childhoods. If your child does end up that way they have other underlying issues

No. 270155

Sidenote jumping in as an autist the tranny community tried to groom. Puberty is a big part of it. Your brain goes through big development and body through big changes. Stuff like showers combine those two in the worst way and a lot of autistic girls with bad brain body connections are groomed into thinking it means your trans. Instead of teaching them to cope by making showers less overwhelming by removing other stimulation like adding earplugs and lowering the light and teaching them body neutrality

No. 270296

help I’m 9 months pregnant and I’m tired all the time. I’m waiting for this nesting phase but have yet to feel it yet. Just kinda want her out now… aaaa

No. 270304

How’s your iron? When mine was too low in my final trimester it was the most tired I’ve ever been.

No. 270310

Ear infections are a bitch, I have a toddler who gets them almost every time he has a cold. Poor thing, he is telling me his ear hurts and sleeping a lot. I have to go pick up amoxicillin later today. Deep sighing into infinity

No. 270312

File: 1655233644182.jpeg (1.24 MB, 894x1042, C187DE16-7AFF-42E0-97AA-8E64AB…)

Yes, I wanted a girl but I got a boy. I wanted a girl, because I’ve observed from my little brother and other little boys that they have a tendency to be more violent and flail or smack themselves or throw themselves when they get mad. It’s gross and annoying I think it’s because if you look at boys toys and clothes with dinosaurs or anthropomorphic trucks they all have angry eyes and sharp teeth. Aggression is encouraged if you are a boy. I buy my kid some girls toys (not those blow up doll looking lol things) and baby dolls. I try to encourage being a nice kid, I have tea parties with him. I paint his nails, I pretend to put makeup on him, I watch strawberry shortcake with him. I still do all the stuff I imagined doing with a little girl. It’s funny because strangers call him a girl, he’s just got such a sweet looking face, it happened more so when he had long hair. He likes dinosaurs so I try to make them out to be friendly and loving like land before time dinosaurs, and just show him documentaries of them. This book has a good depiction of them. He does throw tantrums but they’re never violent. I love this kid so much, I want a daughter eventually but I’m glad my first baby came out the way he is.

No. 270313

I'm sorry but I think that is a big mistake.

No. 270315

Hoping you'll be there to defend him when he gets called a trannyfag at school

No. 270318

I was with you for most of the post, especially your analysis of toys meant for boys, but you lost me on the nail painting and make up. Unfortunately, allowing your son to normalize those things only opens the floodgates to the tranny rhetoric and grooming strategies imo. If I had a son, I would raise him gently too, but at a certain point you are just socializing him as a girl in the consumerist manner (girl oriented TV shows, makeup and beauty industry, etc). I would just do activities like cooking, art, gardening, woodworking. All wholesome purposeful gender neutral things that can manifest into healthy masculine hobbies that aren't plagued with an agenda.

No. 270386

WTF… you are treating your boy like a girl because you wanted a girl. Whatever cope you came up with for this is just that. That's awful, you're gonna troon your son.

No. 270395

Tbh those come from broken households. If you just always communicate with your child and just are always there for them and love them, I seriously doubt they would fall into groomer hands so easily. All a question of raising them to be individuals that question the conformatist system and have confidence and selflove. Trannies come from outright neglect or lunatics like this nonna that gets some weird power trip off trooning her son.

No. 270397


ntayrt but does it really work this way ?
Trannies feel strongly about make-up and "girly things" because there is something that seems forbidden or humiliating about them that turns them on. Someone who is used to seeing all that as normal fun stuff from a young age wouldn't end up feeling the same way, would they ?

Don't get me wrong, I think there's definitely going to be a problem with the kid at some point but I don't think it's going to be tranny shit, unless nona starts shaming him for being male as he grows up and favoring his eventual little sister.

No. 270421

Fellow US nonnies, how much did prenatal care and birth cost you? I know it's variable and depends on your exact insurance, but I'd love to see what range of grand totals exist.

No. 270429

Just under 10k with insurance.

No. 270445

AGP trannies are not the only trannies. There are also HSTS trannies like Jazz Jennings who were trooned out by their mothers by just socializing them as girls and brainwashing them into thinking they are girls. They will be forever confused and dysfunctional.

No. 270450

I'm not a mother myself but I spend a lot of time with my nephews (aged 1 and 3) and I love them so much and worry a lot about what they're going to end up like as adult men. I have hope for them growing up to respect women because my sister is a single mom and most of their caretakers including me are female, but I could see how that might negatively affect them too, because they might expect all women in their life to cater to them. I hope not, right now they're really sweet and well behaved without being spoiled.

No. 270457

It's men's socialization with other men that really turns them sour. You can raise a very loving and gentle son, but it he wants to be respected by his male friends and peers, he will adopt their values and outlooks which are misogynistic toxic and aggressive.

No. 270463

My ex was raised by women, and he’s a horrible person. His mom did everything to raise him to be a gentle person (she was abused physically and sexually) and he still grew up to be a sexual degenerate narc. He was really sheltered as a child and home schooled so when he became an adult it was like free range to do everything he wasn’t allowed to do.

We have a son so of course that shit worries me. My mom was a single mom and my brother turned out pretty well so I’m hoping my son takes after his uncle more.
It’s really the whole nature vs nurture thing.

No. 270479

I think you have the right idea anon, I would just take steps to make sure he doesn't get groomed into trooning. Continue to emphasize to him that he's perfect the way he is, and that boys and girls can enjoy anything they want to.

If you have the means, I'd send him to private school for kindergarten. Not only do the students perform better academically, you can also keep him from being indoctrinated with gendershit.

No. 270516

Sons of single mothers are the absolute worst men. They usually have both mommy and daddy issues. Men need a father around to not go totally insane because otherwise they will look for a father figure online and end up looking up to some moron like Jordan Peterson or Sam Hyde as their daddy figure.

No. 270517

>I would just take steps to make sure he doesn't get groomed into trooning
She's the one grooming him

No. 270535

I think it really depends on the scenario. Obviously a lot of single mothers are bringing their boyfriends around their children, being neglectful, etc. but in general I don't think it's a negative thing in and of itself. A lot of married women with kids are deeply unhappy in their relationship and doing far more of the work raising kids than the father and that's not a good thing to expose children to.

No. 270543

That and their moms often form a covert incestuous relationship with them (often subconsciously) while shit talking other men they date/his father and that screws up their relationship with other women for life as well as their security.

No. 270548

You're wrong, a child needs mother and father. Having only one will leave them longing for the other for the rest of their life and they will try to recreate that love they missed out on forever, sometimes in very unhealthy ways.

No. 270551

I've known guys with absent fathers, honestly not having a father figure is better than having one that brainwashes them into being misogynistic little freaks. Both of the men were very respectful towards me and valued their mothers. Though some of them can be toxic, especially if they grow to blame or resent their mothers.

No. 270552

In my experience it's the men without fathers that become misogynistic little freaks. Mostly due to the fact that they look for replacement father figures online and those tend to be men from menosphere movements like Jordan Peterson. If you look at any toxic e-celeb moid you will find a gaggle of fatherless men hanging onto their every word for wisdom in the comments.

No. 270556

File: 1655389334275.gif (3.99 MB, 252x252, baby getting head pets.gif)

What's something you wished you or your partner knew before planning a pregnancy? It seems no matter what, nobody really knows what they are getting into, and that's fine. However, it would be great to know what nonnies would have told their past selves if they could.

No. 270558

I never wanted to bludgeon something to death more. Holy shit, that has got to be the most annoying looking baby in the world and trust me I’ve seen my fair share of babies.

No. 270559

I don't care about e-celebs never gonna come across one anyways, most normal people care more about their irl experiences and if you think stuff you see online is more truthful, you should probably go outside.
Your child isn't going to be cute or pretty unless you are.

No. 270560

I’m extremely pretty.

No. 270561

Misogyny doesn't just appear in boys when they become old enough to troll forums though. It's way more deeply ingrained than that, and it starts from how they see men around them treat women during childhood.

No. 270562

> I never wanted to bludgeon something to death more
what the fuck!! anon kek

No. 270566

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It’s biological. They have a higher chance of impregnating more women if they’re violent and manipulative towards us, so the trait gets passed on to the next generation. You can’t make a predator go vegan by “raising it right,” but if you don’t want to have a pet rape-ape you can always make the choice to have daughters only. Will you choose honour over becoming the next generation of boy-moms?

No. 270568

>>270548 if men were supposed to raise children they would have breasts instead of a continuous supply of sperm to impregnate as much women as possible, retard. But “god said Adam and Eve, not Mary and Eve” didn’t he? Kys.

No. 270571

>It’s biological. They have a higher chance of impregnating more women if they’re violent and manipulative towards us, so the trait gets passed on to the next generation. You can’t make a predator go vegan by “raising it right,”
Thank you for saying the truth.

No. 270577

NTA I know a fatherless moid who idolizes Peterson and sucks off to Elon Musk's tweets. Openly brags about being 'a sociopath', still managed to manipulate my stupid non-blood sibling into e-dating because she is a desperate woman. He isolates her from others and talks shit about her friends, spamming DMs the second she goes out of the PC. What a joke

No. 270581

I miss when this thread was just wholesome baby talk before the seething femcels invaded it to make it all about man-hate. Another thread ruined because you can't stop seething and moids live rent free in your heads 24/7. I bet none of you even have kids or are pregnant.

No. 270582

I am currently 9 months pregnant with triplets + When the little monster pops out will you move your guns to a safe in case he chimps out into a murder-suicide or keep them on you at all times so you can put him down like a rabid dog if he tries to chris-chan you? + L + ratio

No. 270592

How common miscarriage is. I lost my first and I was completely oblivious that it wasn't rare. We hadn't even discussed how we would deal with loss so it was hard.
Sometimes unfortunate looking parents have beautiful kids, and beautiful parents have unfortunate looking kids. You never know.

No. 270593

You are the one being toxic here right now. Calm down.

No. 270600


No. 270636

Completely free with Medicaid, including every 2-4 week visits, sonograms, etc due to high risk pregnancy. My baby was also in the NICU for a few days due to jaundice. Definitely look for hospitals with sliding scales if you don't qualify, the only thing I paid for was 4 bucks for colic drops

No. 270644

My obgyn said I've been gaining too much weight but honestly it's just that during the first visit I was basically anorexic because of a combo of being heavily sick with flu pre-pregnancy and losing weight, and then suffering a lot in first trimester unable to keep food with me. So I weighted the least I have since Ive been a young teen basically, dropping under 18 BMI. Now I've been gaining like 5kg per month and feel quite good about it. But observing this, Obgyn is saying it is too fast. My BMI is 22.5 now at week 26. Honestly I think it's bullshit and that I shouldn't cut down on food, especially cuz it doesn't look like I've gotten diabetes wyt?

No. 270648

Just make sure your caloric intake is within the realms they suggest for additional during each trimester of pregnancy and that's pretty much all you should even be concerned about.

No. 270656

Honestly, tons of women gain more weight than what is recommended, especially if you are starting at a lower weight. As long as your blood pressure and sugar is good and you're eating balanced there's no real issues.

No. 270659

Gaining weight too fast could still be bad for your baby and result in a large baby, even tho you technically need to gain weight if you are underweight. You want your baby growing at a normal speed. Everything you eat goes to your baby first and you get the left-overs, that's how nature designed it. So if you eat a ton of crap then all that goes to your baby first and you might end up with a very large baby, that means a difficult and dangerous birth for both of you where baby's shoulders could get dislocated for example cause it doesn't fit through your birth canal. I think she is just worried that if you keep gaining at this rate for the rest of the pregnancy then it's going to be too much too fast. 5kg a month is quite a bit since you still got some months to go.

Whenever a doctor tells you these things it's not because they want to shame you or neg you about your weight, they just want to make sure you and the baby are healthy.

No. 270660

Just curious, are you binge-eating now? I know a lot of people with eating disorders go from under-eating to over-eating phases, or are you eating healthy and normal portions?

No. 270661

Can I control sperm quality so I won't have a mongoloid-looking/behaving kid when I'm pregnant or is this scientifically impossible?

No. 270664

Would it be hard to give birth as a virgin?

I really can only go ape for women, and don’t want to sleep with men. But with women, I still don’t want to be penetrated, although I’d totally be a giver for a woman. But I want to have children naturally by donor, I am very maternal and my family expects me to carry on the bloodline too. So will it be hard to give birth as a medically classed virgin?

No. 270670

You personally? no. You can give your moid vitamins that improve sperm quality and make sure he doesn't drink or smoke and eats as healthy as possible. That's what we did.

No. 270726

Make sure your partner isn't fat and eats balanced. No drugs or alcohol. In pregnancy don't take any medication unless absolutely necessary. For instance, the link between Tylenol in utero and autism/behavioral issues is being studied at the moment. Stay away from harsh cleaning products, artificial fragrance, and plastic. All of these play a role in a child's future behavior in ways we don't even fully realize yet.

No. 270728

really hope your kid turns out to be an aspie now

No. 270730

Does anyone feel like doctors put way too much pressure on women for every little thing? My baby was gaining weight slowly the first two weeks, which they admitted was normal but wanted me to bottle feed her after breast feeding "and possibly formula" despite the fact I'm an overproducer in order to make her gain weight. She literally will not feed for more than 30-45 minutes on my breast and her poops and all have been normal. I also feel like milestones are way too high now

No. 270732

why would it be? There shouldn't be any issues.

No. 270747

What exactly do you think you could do? The genetic build up of your child is completely up to chance.

No. 270749

>they will have to go through acne during puberty
Lots of kids do anon. It sucks but it can be managed. No offense, but I think there are bigger and more important things to consider than whether or not your kids will have pimples, need glasses or have ugly feet (who even cares about their children's feet?).

No. 270755

Youre right nona. I guess nothing you can do!
Well the type of acne he has is forever. His mom still has acne in her 50s. He tells me that its quite painful so I dont really want my kids to have to deal with acne for the rest of their lives. The ugly feet is flat foot, I just forgot what it was called. He had trouble walking and needed physical therapy for it. Its more or less I dont want my kids to have to suffer because of genetic passings.

No. 270759

That's understandable, I'm sorry for misunderstanding anon. I honestly thought you were just being a little vain kek

No. 270764

How do people have like 6+ kids? Seriously. The anxiety, the stress of being pregnant, how painful birth can be, how many little things can go wrong like colic that can quickly turn your life into a living hell. I'm convinced everyone who has a ton of kids or wants a big family must have not had to handle babies 24/7 or just has a nanny to hand them off to. I'm only on my first and it's been absolute chaos for the first few months. Pain from birth, colic, mastitis, feedings every 2 hours + having to pump right after meaning you probably only get like an hour of sleep between feeds

No. 270770

As someone from a large family with lots of siblings, there were no nannies kek it was basically older siblings watching over the younger ones and grandmas and aunts helping out.

No. 270783

>You can give your moid vitamins
What vitamins do you recommend? Ideally, as few pills as possible. Our main concern is the health of the child, but faster conception would be nice, as well.

No. 270793

Please don't feed with formula if you can avoid it. I'm sorry for all who don't have other options but even as a substitute they're bad. The reason doctors push them is because they can profit off those who consume things like seedoils, soy and other processed bullshit the most. They want to harm your child in order to ensure having a lifelong customer.

No. 270794

Zinc helps with production of it, but just generally a healthy lifestyle. Make sure he works out and trains his muscles so his hormone levels are balanced also.

No. 270804

I made my husband do his own research on the topic and this is what he bought:
-Zinc and Selen
-Sunflower Lecithin
-a general men's multivitamin

I noticed a difference almost immediately, just the amount of cum went up a lot and it was a lot more liquid, which is good because the sperm needs a lot of fluid to transport them where they need to go. We also used a special lube that is supposed to help conceive because normal lube kills sperm and hinders their movement.

No. 270805

Those people usually have big families and live with multiple generations that help out with the kids. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all babysit and help. Then the older kids also take care of the younger ones. It can definitely be done, also some people just don't use birth control for religious reasons so they have no choice but to have many kids I guess.

No. 270810

Ah seed oil chan, I was wondering where you've been

No. 270819

They also don't bother to discuss other possible causes. I tried the every two hours, feed, pump, and supplement schedule, she was often way too full to take the rest of it via bottle so it took a good minute to practically force feed her and have her spit it all up. By the time I was done with everything it was be time for another feed and I was losing my mind since I had zero time to feed, nap, or eat and my my supply actually dropped from how little time I actually had to eat. Unrealistic expectations + adding in a bunch of unnecessary steps when breastfeeding is insanity and probably the reason why so many women turn to formula despite being able to breastfeed. We lived thousands of years just breastfeeding on demand with no extra steps and thrived, idk why doctors think you need to forcefeed your baby 24 hours a day or you're doing something wrong

No. 270901

File: 1655581311241.jpg (75.26 KB, 800x800, plush-tenori-kiiroitori-rilakk…)

How long do you think is "enough" for you and your partner to be together or married in order to have a child?
I've been married to my partner for 3 years, 4th will be the next one and I am exhausted of "waiting". At first he was happy about the idea but after COVID years hes been more than anxious and unsure. So anxious that he once came inside me and then regretted it, forcing me to take the b-plan pill. I always cook around the house and the only person to clean while trying to scratch a few occasional pennies off my art commissions and the more years go by the more miserable about the future I feel. Its even worse now that my grandparents who have raised me are doing terrible healthwise and neither me nor them can visit eachother and we havent seen eachother in 3 years too. I am just so sad and I don't know how to even talk about it to my partner anymore. Of course it is a huge decision, bringing a different life but with me not being able to find a job and always being the housemaker I would like to at least have something else too. I put my whole life into a few suitcases the move out of my terrible goverment and I am studying the local language hard - i understand everything people say, just takes awhile to say much back and I still keep having the languge courses. Also mine and my partners age difference concerns me as the more years go by. Im just tired.

No. 270903

No. 270911

Not any of those anons but do you even know what a troon is or do you just throw that word around to integrate?

No. 270918

its been 3 years… he probably doesn't want kids and is wasting your youth hoping he can hit the snooze button every time you ask about it. "after covid" "after the recession", etc.

No. 270919

You don't need a baby you need to break up with your bf. Having a child will not save your relationship.

No. 270983

We started trying for a baby as soon as we decided that we will get married cause we didn't want to waste any time starting to live the life that we want to live together. I am also already in my late 20s so I started to hear he clock ticking since I want multiple children. Very happy with my decision.

No. 270987

>using lube

No. 270989

Doesn't sound like a good relationship to me at all. My boyfriend and I called each other husband/wife as a ""joke"" after the first dates and when we slept with each other we were ""ironically"" talking about how I'm impregnated now, even when it was in unfertile days. If you don't feel good about the idea of children you shouldn't force yourself to or wait that it magically starts. Honestly I think you're wasting your time with this moid. I would be so blackpilled for being forced to take Plan B unless we were like living in straight up homeless poverty or something.

No. 270995

Fuck off tranny.

No. 271268

Anyone have mild tearing but it still hurts like fuck? I could barely move for the first few days without wanting to kms. I'm almost to week 2 and completely fine other than mild pressure. What are 3rd and 4th degree tearings even like? Do you have to be out in a wheelchair?

No. 271673

I gave birth about two weeks ago and my asshole fucking HURTS and I literally pooped myself on a run. I don't get it my vaginal area healed up like nothing happened, my tearing was 1st degree but my asshole seems to be taking the shit end of the stick, pun not intended. I've been using the perineum spray and nothing seems to work and I don't have a prolapse. Why is this happening to me? I am low-key wishing I had gotten a c section instead

No. 271679

Could you have hemorrhoids (common in pregnancy)? Is it sore when you poop?

No. 271713

You probably just inflamed tissues that are still healing. Maybe stick to swimming or other low impact exercise until the 6 week mark.

No. 272396

Is anybody else collecting colostrum? The consistency and color of mine is always different. I am also not sure how much I should collect? I get about 4-10ml a session.

No. 272410

Collected mine daily and used it to recover in the hospital so I can nap while other people fed the baby. I also had a ton left over and it helped my baby recover from jaundice

No. 272411

I thought you are not supposed to pump any milk before your due-date because it can induce early labor?

No. 272417

Does it? I pumped since 20 weeks and my husband sucked my boobs daily since day 1 and I was still 10 days overdue kek

No. 272444

Thays impressive! How much did you end up collecting total?
It's okay for some women to do earlier. For others it can cause uterine discomfort and cramping. I have been hand expressing since 30 weeks with no issues

No. 272447

what the heck

No. 272516

Have any of you had an easy time breastfeeding? I feel like I only hear horror stories about how painful it is and how all women want to give up because its so hard and they all get mastitis etc. It really makes me dread breastfeeding, but I really want to. Are they just trying to scare other women or is it really that bad?

No. 272553

File: 1656511654186.jpg (31.68 KB, 800x600, female-sterilization-tubal-lig…)

I scheduled a consultation with an OB for tubal ligation next Wednesday. I am SO NERVOUS that she will deny my request. Such bullshit.
This is a doctor I've not seen before so I don't really know what her attitude will be like. She looks like she is under 40, so that's good, right? I want this so bad. Here are my reasons:
>I'm almost 32, never ever wanted kids to the point where it's kind of a running joke in my family that I "hate" children (I don't lol but I really don't want any)
>Pregnancy is literal body horror to me and I would kms if I had to endure a distended belly and birth
>I have tried 5+ methods of birth control that all had negative effects from hormonal instability to an IUD flipping upside down inside of me somehow
>I had to terminate a pregnancy in October and I never ever want to do that again as it was traumatizing (I had an at-home abortion in my shower and there was a lot more tissue/matter coming out than I anticipated and I had to get a second procedure, a vacuum [?] abortion at the office because all of the tissue was not expelled)
>Ever since the abortion I have been kind of scared of my bf's penis getting anywhere near my vagina without a condom on and it detracts from my pleasure and connection with him
>My bf and I have been together for over 10 years (this is not a flex at my age, but it is relevant) and both agree on a childfree lifestyle.
>I've seen my friends and siblings have children and no "switch" was flipped for me and I still don't ever want to have babies or raise children.
>My sex drive has been NIL for the past 9-ish years because of depression, anxiety, trauma, meds, and birth control, and I am FINALLY getting it back and I am SO EXCITED. I never ever want to lose my sex drive again, and fear of pregnancy (that I will never want) is inhibiting me.
>I would love to be able to have pregnancy and condom-free sex with my bf while we are still young.
Anything else I should include? Has anyone gone through this? I saw on the childfree subreddit that it's helpful to mention how fear of pregnancy negatively affects your sex life because one of the main objectives of an OB/GYN is to facilitate a happy and healthy sex life for their patients. I want this so bad. If she refuses, I will go to another doctor. Please send vibes nonnies!! I'll update next week if anyone is interested.

No. 272565

Depends on what you define as “bad.” For me, every letdown reflex (when the baby starts feeding and your milk gets ready to go out, sorry for the shit explanation) felt like hot coals in my breasts. It got better over time, but was still pretty painful. Not to mention the frequency of feedings at the beginning. I only lasted 9 months. A full 12 is considered best, but 6 months is the minimum for benefits, I think.

No. 272566

Oh, samefag, you will get chapped and cracked nipples. Yes, it hurts, but I’ve actually lost all sensation in mine. It’s been 6 years since I breastfed, and my nipples never regained sensitivity.

No. 272568

You're in the wrong thread. The childfree thread is here >>>/g/156622

This is the thread for people who want children.

No. 272569

You are correct! My bad. The OP says this is a thread for birth control discussion. I'll repost. Thanks

No. 272570

Samefag, I'm an idiot, it says conception not contraception

No. 272587

please get your tubes tied, thank you

No. 272589

Looks likes she’s actively trying to do just that, anon. Lol

No. 272624

I guess it depends. Breastfeeding hurt at first and I got mastitis for a few days but quickly recovered. Other than that it's been a breeze, still would prefer this over expensive formula though. You also have to learn about how babies develop with breast milk vs formula since a lot of doctors are adjusted to the formula ways of development. Breast milk babies don't gain as fast but you can't overfeed then, they also have curdled poop and spit up

No. 272687

would coconut oil prevent the skin chapping and possibly infections also? Did anyone have experience with that? Also how is direct feeding vs using a breast pump? I am pregnant with my first and bought the breast pump and tried it out for a few seconds on the medium setting out of curiosity, and damn it does hurt. Does this have to do with not producing any yet or will it just be like that?

No. 272689

In my experience if you pump correctly it's much more comfortable than the baby eating straight from the boob since the baby will often chew on the nipple and teething will hurt. I got nipple sores after the first few days of feeding my baby right out of the womb. Direct feeding has pros like easy access, don't have to clean before or after, don't have to store milk, etc and will definitely help with postpartum recovery. but if I had the energy for it I totally would have exclusively pumped and just bottle fed .

As for oils I'm an oil junkie (mostly olive and grapeseed) and still got infections but it helped with stretch marks. It probably hurts due to increased sensitivity. Though if I didn't produce a fuck ton of colostrum I wouldnt have pumped since it can be a while before you learn the right latch and milk/colostrum will get all over the base of the pump and you'd wanna save all the colostrum you can, stick with hand expressing with colostrum and hand expressing unless you're producing a lot that won't matter if wasted

No. 272693

I highly recommend lanolin for your nips. It was like a miracle cream when mine got cracked. Also, I could never get a lot out with a pump, so I didn’t use it. You can try after baby is here and see how it goes for you. Try not to get discouraged if you’re seemingly not producing a lot that way, it’s a common occurrence.

No. 272704

I'm also pregnant with my first so no personal experience, but I heard so many moms swear by coconut oil since lanolin is very very thick and heavy and some women are even allergic to it (and don't know it, they think the skin irritation is only from breastfeeding). I am also getting some silver nipple shields that many have said are a godsend to protect the nipples between feeding sessions. I really hope I will have a good experience breastfeeding since I don't think formula is a good alternative… the breastmilk from the mother is just the best cause it is individually produced for your babies needs and even changes depending on your babies development.

No. 272737

Have been breastfeeding for 8 months now with no issues. Only the first few weeks were sometimes uncomfortable, especially the uterine contractions the first few days after birth. I have a low tolerance for discomfort and pain and it was a breeze since week 3
I used these when my nipples would crack and it was a miracle cure https://www.dm.de/multi-mam-kompressen-p8714207821208.html
Silicone nipple shields were great for when the letdown was too strong or my nipples felt too sensitive.
Hope you'll have a great experience too. Remember that it's usually people who have issues that speak about it online, the ones who have an okay to good experience don't feel the need to talk about it.

No. 272768

I used lanolin and liked it or a shea and rose butter balm. After the initial week or two of struggle it got better. No more bleeding or chafing.
Crampbark can be taken for the uterine contractions anon mentioned above.
I had a Hakka which is a thing that suctions to the breast not in use and catches the milk so you can start a passive milk supply that way. Also makes it less messy
Stay hydrated and make sure you eat enough so you’re milk is strong and keeps baby full. A nursing bra with breast pads you can change out to stay dry is big too.

No. 272844

anyone have experience with PPD or PPP? Would USA mental hospitals allow mothers to keep baby with them in unit?

No. 272871

Does any of you have an experience raising a mixed nationality child? I'm considering having a kid with my partner in the future but both of our families speak different languages neither of us is any good at, and between us we speak english, so ideally our child would have to be fluent in three languages… is that even possible?

No. 272888

It's possible, but three is definitely a bit confusing for a child. My husband and me plan to raise our child bilingual, he speaks English and I speak English plus my native language. I plan to speak my native language to the child, he will speak English to it and the family language will also be English. This is a pretty easy way to raise children bilingual, they will associate the language with the parent talking to them. Not sure how you would do it with three languages, maybe save one for your child to learn later on when they are a bit older. I would suggest to teach them English and the language of whatever country you live in first. There's a lot of books about the topic, just look on Amazon.

No. 272897

The truth is, your child will most likely end up being fluent in whatever language is predominantly used in the country you live in. If there’s a different language everyone uses at home, that will probably become language #2. They’ll understand it well enough, but most likely will have a preference for speaking in their more fluent language. Unless they have other siblings and friends to practice the home language with, it may not be the easiest
speak (according to friends who grew up in similar situations). As for talking to relatives in some third language? It will definitely just come down to their personality and your diligence.

No. 272926

NTA do you guys think having the baby watch childrens shows in the second language would help? I think it would be nice for my kids to have some basic language but I don't see a practical way for them to learn otherwise, even if my partner only spoke to them in the second language

No. 272932

We will read them books in both languages we want them to learn, along with some child-friendly tv shows and movies in each language, but I don't want my kids to watch too much tv while they are still small so we will mostly read to them and talk to them.

No. 272946

I myself was raised bilingual. It might be difficult since you said that you and your husband only speak English, but I spoke to my father in English and my mother in French growing up, and in first grade I began learning a third language in school which I'm not native level at but I have a pretty good understanding of it. I read books and watched movies in both English and French growing up. Be prepared that when your child is young they might switch between languages at random, or only know a certain word in one language.

No. 273018

I'm in the same situation and my child is trilingual. Both my husband and I were raised bilingual because of mixed ethnicity languages, were fluent at both from the start.
The important thing is that each parent talks to to the child in their native language and in the third only between you and your partner. This is less confusing for children according to a speech therapist we consulted. I'm assuming your shared language is english - the shared language will be the child's weakest but it will pick it up more a bit later through media and school.
Buy books in all both your native languages, watch cartoons in both, do regular videocalls with friends and relatives from home.
There is a lot of places where families are multilingual and the children start speaking all the languages with equal fluency as long as they're equally exposed to it. Like another anon mentioned though, they might learn a word in one language but not another, but it evens out soon.
Make sure that if you are on spending more time with the baby then the father because of maternity leave that the father talks a lot with the baby whenever at home. The positive is that you and your partner will learn each other's native languages along with the baby.

No. 273163

How do I stop rapid weight loss during breastfeeding? I barely have time to eat due to cluster feeds and breastfeeding has made me have these massive solid poops several times a day, doesn't help I got mastitis and my antibiotics made ne lose my appetite. I look like an anorexic with disgusting swollen bolt ons

No. 273202

Honestly, protein shakes and milkshakes.

No. 273271

Maybe make yourself a bowl of overnight oats (maybe with chia seeds) with milk when you can find the time and add a bit of protein powder and coconut oil or just straight up butter to it to get the calories up. Honey also and marmalade for the taste. Nuts also are quite dense calorie wise and easy to snack on.

No. 273561

I bought and picked up a stroller from a young mom over a flea market app, and this woman who wasn't much older than me had GLOWING skin. She had a only 1 month old baby and told me she had a total of 5 kids. She had her hair nicely done, was wearing some light makeup and just so calm and beautiful and explaining how to fold the stroller so super nicely. HOW.
I'm pregnant with my first and I'm so afraid of post partum that I said beforehand I don't want any relatives to come see me for the first 40 days and to not even leave the house since I expect to become a trainwreck looks- and mood wise.

No. 273574

I have a one month old and have to say it's easy to fake having your shit together if you don't have a super traumatic birth or anything, about 1-2 months is when I felt I started having my shit together and right now it's just me and my husband no family to help but I assume super clean house, dinner on table, yoga at 5 type ladies are either rich enough to have baby sitters, maids, etc or have hell of a support system from family. I honestly found postpartum much easier than my last few weeks of pregnancy

No. 273643

Did anyone pay to get a NIPT to screen for Down Syndrome? Its really fucking expensive and not even 100% reliable so I don't know whether to go for it or not. I live in the UK but can't get it on the NHS.

No. 273647

My husband and I decided to go for it. It honestly gave me peace of mind. We ended up paying 200 usd for a pretty extensive one. Our obgyn's office had a special and gave us a discount for paying out of pocket. I am a burger though.

No. 273652

Better to drop a bucket of money now than a lifetime of huge expenses on a child with downs later. I'd seriously consider it if you can pay for it.

No. 273654

We paid 170€ for ours and it was a real piece of mind. It doesn't just test for down syndrome but other abnormalities as well and its something like 99% reliable. I will do it again. If you can't afford that, how can you afford a kid?

No. 273672

Well I have savings for this sort of thing but I only have to shell out about £400 for the priviledge. Just so peeved off about having to spend so much for what should really be basic, affordable antenatal care.

No. 273689

Does anyone here actually breastfeed in public? Ive only done it 3 times and stopped after being hit on by a moid. I live in a state that is protected by breastfeeding in public rights but it's just so hard to build up the confidence to actually to do it and I don't want to be grouped in with those mother's who always film themselves breastfeeding for attention

No. 273690

You just cover up with a scarf thing and it shouldn't be that big of a deal?

No. 273692

I do but still have gotten looks since you can accidentally expose your breasts in the transition of putting everything on, getting the baby latched, etc or getting everything off. It's that weird "I know you're breastfeeding under that" type deal and I feel like a lot of moids stare because they're waiting for a blanket malfunction. Am I just being paranoid?

No. 273725

Even in Germany the NIPT is not covered by health insurance. I don't think it is anywhere.

No. 273821

I had one done and it definitely helped ease my mind. Although I feel less eased now, after seeing how much (little?) other nonas paid for theirs. Mine cost roughly $1000 after converted to USD, which every website in my country told me was the average. I was under the impression that it was a bit different from the type of NIPT done in western countries due to some things the doctor at that practice said, but maybe my entire country is full of suckers. Oh well.

No. 274240

>after being hit on by a moid
WTF. Absolutely fucking massively blackpilling and vile like how does this not make anyone into an actual misandrist. Fucking kill them all. Guess I'm not feeding outside unless I'm not with husband so he can beat those deranged coomers up

No. 274394

Can women ever have an issue with anything ever without moids acting like we're equating it to the Holocaust or something? Why would a woman want to be flirted with while she's feeding a baby?

No. 274427

You’re def not being paranoid, there’s an alarming amount of men who take advantage of a view like that. It’s sick but it’s the truth.

No. 274435

>deranged coomers
"not my nigel tho! he's one of the good ones!"

No. 274500

Nta but this wasn't a woman this was a moid mocking the anon for being bothered by a man flirting with her while breastfeeding

No. 274501

Men live absolutely rent-free in your head, holy shit. Stop derailing this thread all the time and hide threads that trigger you.

No. 274574

Post hand or GTFO

No. 274708

Try olive oil + garlic oil, or a premade "ear oil". It prevents/cures ear infections in my experience without antibiotics. I used to get them regularly as an adult before I tried ear oil.

No. 274721

File: 1657570257431.png (483.68 KB, 1730x974, Screen-Shot-2021-11-30-at-4.13…)

I have only 3 weeks left to go. I hate my stretchmarks so much, they are so painful. Whenever the baby moves it feels like someone rubbing their fingers into a cut. I have been moisturizing extensively but my belly is just full of red marks. I haven't even gained that much weight this pregnancy. I am scared of what my postpartum stomach will look like.

No. 274725

File: 1657572159295.jpg (162.12 KB, 1536x1536, Breast-Milk-Stretch-Marks.jpg)

Putting breastmilk on your stretch marks + dermarolling is magic when it comes to stretch marks. A spray tan can also cover stretch marks pretty well and a lemon juice scrub

No. 274726

Does anyone have a slacker boob? I got mastitis two weeks ago and it still feels like the supply is barely there when I pump but I'm hand expressing a good bit and baby is getting full off of it?

No. 274728

Breasts don’t respond to pumps as well as hand expressing or a baby’s latch. Slacker boob is totally normal. Both my kids had a favorite boob so the other one was always less. If baby is happy and wetting diapers, you’re fine.

Sorry about the mastitis though. I had it a few times BFding both my kids. Usually happened when their eating habits changed and they weren’t emptying my breasts.

No. 274775

My gosh I relate. My stomach isn't too bad but my boobs grew way too fast and are completely ridden with stretch marks. They start out way darker than they will eventually become though, so that's a hope to keep in mind. I've been using bio-oil and coconut oil maybe this helps you too. Eventually I like to think about it that way; when a tree grows fruit its initial flowers also lose their petals and one type of beauty might seem to fade but the buds give room to transform themselves in order to bear something even more incredible and beautiful.

No. 275142

I had such an easy pregnancy until I hit 35 weeks last week and mild pre existing hypermobility has become so severe in my sij/pelvis/hips that I've almost completely lost mobility. I've had to transfer hospitals last second to one that has the facilities to support me (including after birth) but i don't know how long my referral will take to process and now for the first time i'm legitimately scared for whats going to happen between now and birth and it's suddenly so stressful. just needing to vent and it feels more suited here than the vent thread

No. 275303

File: 1657839189449.jpg (242.11 KB, 1200x1200, m_stroller_US_PIPA-lite_Nuna.j…)

What was actual splurg stuff you guys quickly learned after motherhood anons? I feel kinda silly since I spent my entire pregnancy hoarding things like bathing supplies, grooming kits, every bougie dish washing and changing stuff, books, diapers, an owlet, etc just for it to sit on the closet. The only thing I didn't splurg on is onesies, crib sheets, and medicines (colic drops, gripe water, etc) which weirdly enough seems like the stuff I use the most. Really wish they would tell you this

No. 275305

File: 1657840779735.jpeg (15.23 KB, 700x700, 11836365_fpx.jpeg)

The only thing worth it that we splurged on is this detergent by The Laundress. Sticker price is shocking but it's actually saved us money in the end because it lasts a long time. It is incredible at getting out all stains. And I seriously mean all. I've started using it for our clothes too lol the owlet was the biggest waste of money (but we didn't buy it). A lot of modern day baby items aren't necessary, especially when they grow out of things so quickly

No. 275495

What did you think of the owlet? I was considering getting one for my older sister who is due soon since we have a history of SIDS in our family and I wanted to give her a little peace of mind.

No. 275509

Imo you shouldn't get anything for a baby that connects to the internet and tracks all your data on an app. You are literally buying shit you don't need so companies can collect your babies data so they can sell you even more shit you don't need. I don't want globo homo to know all about my baby before they can even crawl. It's so nightmarish.

No. 275512

When did you start getting stretch-marks? I am at 30 weeks now and I feel like they are going to start appearing any day now. I got a shit ton of stretch-marks when I went through puberty so it's not my first rodeo and I don't feel too too bad about it.

No. 275526

I got one for my friend who has a preemie and she loves it. Of course similar to an actual hospital monitor it often messes up if the baby too much but imo as a NICU mom myself it messes up a lot less than the hospital one. It's just a little complicated to put on really

No. 275528

Geez anon. I'd rather companies "sell my data to get me to buy shit" than to have a dead baby wtf

No. 275531

I've heard co2 lasers are probably the most effective way to remove stretch marks

No. 275534

Not buying a baby dream monitor isn’t gonna kill it kek

No. 275549

No one's saying that but it's recommended by doctors for high risk babies to prevent SIDS. seriously idgaf what companies do with heart rate and oxygen levels but if I had a high risk baby I'd definitely prefer that over the risk of SIDS. Are you even a parent?

No. 275590

SIDS mostly happens because of unsafe sleep environment, a baby monitor won't help you if you are too stupid for safe sleep practices. Maybe buy her a guide on safe sleep instead.

No. 275602

>SIDS is because you're stupid!!!
Okay you've got to be trolling. A safe sleep environment lessens the risk but doesn't remove it completely especially if you have a high risk baby like a preemie. If low oxygen levels are detected the baby can easily be saved ASAP if caught soon enough. Are you really trying to sit here and convince people that SIDS is the parents fault now before ever admitting that the owlet could be useful?

No. 275604


Sage for samefag but when you're in the NICU your baby on a similar monitor for the same reason. Are they all just stupid too?

No. 275622

NTA but there’s a theory that some babies who die of SIDS is due to tongue swallowing. It’s one of the reasons they recommend pacifiers in the states to help prevent it. I don’t know why but you made me think of it.

No. 275648

SIDS is caused by a variety of factors. Rapidly developing respiratory system (which is also why it happens the most between 2-4 months because that's when it develops the most), unknown illnesses, over heating, undetected brain abnormalities, etc. A lot of these factors are just simply out of everyone's control

No. 275668

I started getting them at exactly 32 weeks. I had come home from swimming and thought the chlorine just dried up and irritated my skin. I had only a few red streaks, and I wasn't that concerned. Fast forward to 35 weeks and my belly was completely covered overnight.

No. 275676

And how is your smartsock going to help you if there is nothing you can do about SIDS?

No. 275705

You can easily look up multiple stories of people having their babies saved from the owlet. You can detect the oxygen levels being low and go from there as well as heart rate changes and get emergency help. Seriously just Google "owlet saved baby". Anyone with two braincells can do it. I shouldn't have to spoon-feed you on how detecting changes in heart rate/oxygen can signal to receive help before an emergency happens


No. 276044

My husband said he doesn’t feel comfortable with me giving birth at home even though he knows that I’ve experienced abuse in hospitals. I don’t really know what else to say I just needed to release that I guess kek

No. 276055

Maybe try a birthing home/center? If it's your first things can go wrong quick that can put you and your baby in danger. I understand fear of hospitals but you don't want to be hemorrhaging or have your baby not breathing and be completely fucked. Home births are better for your 3rd or more kids since you know how your body reacts to birthing

No. 276058

Do you plan to have a midwife or anything like that? I understand wanting a home birth, but like the other anon said you want someone who can provide care to you or your baby if needed.

No. 276141

Don't have a homebirth with your first, anon. So many things can go wrong that are impossible to predict.
I don't know where you are from and what your options are, look into birthing centers like anon above mentioned. Some EU countries offer hospital assisted homebirth - a midwife comes to yor home with some equipment and keeps the hospital up to date so they are ready to come over right away if needed.
Sorry for blogging, but just to give you an idea. I had a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby, am in good shape and everything was a textbook perfect experience, including going into labour on my due date. Then I got to the pushing stage, the contractions were too weak to deliver, even with the drip I was pushing for 4 hours. Baby and I both started having heartrate issues. Doctor was preparing for intervention when I finally gave birth. If I hadnt gotten the drip the baby would have gotten stuck in the birth canal too long and suffered lifelong damage, and even with the drip it was by a narrow margin that I gave birth unassisted to a healthy baby. Afterwards I had too much bleeding even with the shot and had to be monitored.

No. 276156

everyone should use cloth diapers. Disposable diapers are completely hellish. Plastic that never ever breaks down and what purpose did it serve? Being a literal shit bag. I hate disposable nappies.

No. 276181

Do you use cloth diapers?

No. 276183

Sounds like something written by an adult who uses diapers.

No. 276200

I am all for using as little plastic as possible and recycling, but being a new mom is already hard enough and I will honestly just use whatever conveniences we have available in our modern world to make it a bit easier on myself. If you want to take the time to scrub shit out of a diaper you can do that, but don't judge others who don't have that energy.

No. 276276

You can get disposable, biodegradable liners

No. 276279

That anon radiates the same enrgy as men who bully women for using tampons/pads while collecting shitty plastic toys himself.

No. 276386

I don't agree with the anon but this is stupid. You can disagree with someone and they can still be a woman kek

No. 276637

Went for an ultrasound today (I will be 32 weeks on friday) and was diagnosed with a short cervix. It went from 4cm to 2cm sometime between this and my last appointment, which was 6 weeks ago. So now I am of course terrified of early labor and have been forbidden to exercise, have sex or really do anything that is stressful. It sucks because we are moving in early August and I won't be able to help much at all.

Also the no sex rule really bothers me, I understand that sex can cause early labor so we will of course abstain, but it just pisses me off because (hopefully) I won't give birth for another 6-8 weeks and then we can't have sex after the birth for another 6 weeks so it's over 3 months with no sex. We have a relationship where we have sex every day and we are very happy that way, neither of us masturbate and I am very grateful that I have a moid who doesn't jerk off to porn and gets all of his release with me. We never had to go through such a long stretch without sex other than in the very beginning of our relationship where we had to be long distance for a bit, I know we can still do other stuff like oral but I am scared that it will be frustrating for him and he will be tempted to find other ways to get off that don't involve me. Does anyone have experience with this? How do you deal with it?

No. 276639

forgot to bump

No. 276910

Sex is fine but A LOT of sex will put you into labor. I had sex 1-2 times weekly from 30 weeks and on and I was still overdue. Don't let them induce you early or give you a c section either unless it's life threatening since a lot of doctors will call for those over every little thing

No. 276917

Porn is one thing but you don't get to ban partners from ever masturbating. You shouldn't want to either. As long as it's not excessive and as long as it's not linked to 'other activities'.. people have the right to access their own body and have a solo release every now and then.

No. 276919

Men can't masturbate without porn though, they all think "jacking off" means using porn

No. 277096

What level of exercise counts as “strenuous”? During my previous pregnancy, I tried pressing multiple nurses about the definition and only got the most wishy washy non-answers in return. It seemed like everyone was scared to give me the green light to do any exercise other than “walking” despite having a normal, healthy pregnancy and a completely average bmi. I ended up mostly “walking” a lot (which I already do) and, as a result, gained a ton of weight. Most was water, but at the very end I had still gained almost 20kg. The doctors clearly thought I was lying about the food I ate, even though I kept to a strict 1500kcal diet and daily weight journal.

I’m planning on getting pregnant again soon and I’m worried about this happening again. I lost the weight pretty quickly the first time, but my joints were so fucked up from the experience. I just struggle to keep my weight down with diet alone, it’s like my body is constantly readjusting to a maintenance. Also, I just feel like shit when my body rests too much. Does anyone have any experience keeping up a more normal exercise routine throughout pregnancy?

No. 277106

My doctor explicitly told me I can't have sex, so yeah that sucks.

basically what >>276919 said, men don't masturbate without porn use

No. 277107

What I have been told any exercise that you did before the pregnancy is what you can also do during the pregnancy. You can't suddenly go from no exercise to a full work-out when you are pregnant. But if you work out regularly before pregnancy you can keep that level up, but not go any harder than that.

No. 277140

I got a PUPPs rash and I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy. Has anyone else ever gotten this? I feel defective.

No. 277145

Appropriate punishment for a baby that threw up on your Valentino clutch bag?

No. 277184

Don't let the baby have their first pair of Louboutins until age 18.

No. 277279

calling doubts on that bc I could do 30 squats and 3x20 donkey kicks on each leg and more exercises multiple times a week no problem before pregnancy and since like second trimester I can barely stretch my leg up like that and I break out in sweat and can't do stuff rest of the day after like 10 squats. Anything that needs even just slightly abs/core support is just not doable or only with huge pain lol

No. 277282

Sad to hear about your moid but speak for yourself only please. Also not being able to do penetration doesn't mean no sex. You can still make him rub you/lick your clit till climax, and you can give him pleasure also. Or be cuddling/making out while touching yourselves, you can spice it up by telling each other lewd things into your ears during until you can't hold it. Intimacy can take so many forms, are you seriously that uncreative you think jerking off alone or watching sex videos is a normal "substitute" or w/e when you have someone to make love with right there?

No. 277334

>speak for yourself only please
Nta but the OP said that her man also has that problem, I don't get why you're giving her all of this advice instead of the anon who originally vented.
>are you seriously that uncreative you think jerking off alone or watching sex videos is a normal "substitute" or w/e when you have someone to make love with right there?
Kek, you're acting like anon is OP's moid. A lot of men do think it's a normal substitute.

No. 277410

my scrote uses his imagination to masturbate, i know for a fact he hasn't watched porn in several years. it's possible
there are definitely ways you guys can get each other off, like mutual oral or masturbation. if you can't get off from just that (especially when theres potential to make things more arousing by increasing the excitement over when you finally can have sex) then thats a separate issue lmao

No. 277548

I exercised on and off before pregnancy but during pregnancy I focused on squats and the "cat" yoga pose and it helped me bounce back like a rubber ball even though I was pretty skinny fat before

No. 277553

File: 1658627915991.jpg (48.93 KB, 1023x682, depositphotos_74324459-stock-p…)

I can't even afford to think about having kids, but my daydreams about having twins is getting stronger.

No. 277554

is this the source of boy mom fever?

No. 277562

Most likely. Unstable boymoms are the absolute worse. At least unstable girl moms tend to just be cheerleading mom karens or something, boymoms tend to have a weird borderline incestuous relationship with their sons and get weirdly controlling when their sons start dating. I also suspect this is why 90% of "crazy mother in law" cases tend to be the husbands mom

No. 277602

My boyfriend and I have talked about having children and we seem to line up about when we want to become parents. I'm about to turn 30 and I know I want children before I turn 35, he's 2 years younger than me and he said he would like to be a father in his early to mid 30s. We are still in the early months of commitment, but it was really nice to find someone who is willing to be open about what he sees in our relationship, even so early on. Like, it's I'm certain I'm not wasting time. Before I met him, I was open to adopting out of fear of pregnancy and I started getting over that before meeting my boyfriend. Now I really have no fear.
I think the only thing I fear now is the feeling of being unprepared. I look at parenting videos whenever I come across them on TikTok. Even before TikTok, I would always fantasize about how I want to approach tough subjects with my children, because my parents weren't there to do that. Even little things, like teaching a child how to eat, potty train, and crawl. Raising an individual and letting this little person understand their humanness. I think about this at least once a week. I cannot wait to be a mother someday.
Right now I am having some more baby fever than usual because I saw a coworker in their car taking turns holding their baby with their family. I also have a cousin I grew close with who just became a father and I haven't had the chance to visit his family and see their baby in person. I am eager for the moment I get to hold a baby of my own, along with seeing how my boyfriend will act as a father. We have extremely similar views on how we want to parent so it is exciting to daydream about.

No. 277606

When you get pregnant with a boy or girl, you get their cells in your body but since boys have Y chromosome and girls don't, it's easier to prove chimerism with boys because a woman wouldn't have cells with y chromosome normally so seeing y chromosome in a mother would be enough to prove this.

I think I read on an article that fetal chimerism boosted the immune system regardless your child's gender(even though m*les think it's only for boys because they don't understand shit) so it's a positive.

No. 277610

I also started getting baby-fever really bad around 28-29 and now I am 30 and our bun is almost done cooking and due soon. Good luck, nonnie!

No. 278318

File: 1658965199210.jpg (101.2 KB, 2400x1600, ollie-1.jpg)

-not my baby-
I wanted to let everyone know I got the Ollie swaddle and I fucking love this thing. It makes her stop crying within seconds and is really helping with PURPLE crying. It also comes with a helpful laundry bag and instructions and I washed it twice with no pilling or anything. Def recommend if you got a colicky baby

I got this too from the container store and I can't get enough of it. The pre soak and fabric spray from the laundress are also great

No. 278319

had NICU twins and the owlet helps ease anxiety but if you don't put it on right you'll get lots of false alarms

No. 278501

WHY do mom blogs glorify being an overproducer? I'm literally engorged 24/7 and need to pump and feed everywhere hour to prevent mastitis. It's so painful and not good . What's wrong with making just enough milk for your baby?

No. 278591

For people who have had a kid already, did you notice any changes in your personality or way of thinking? Or did your partner/friends notice a change? My husband and I both have really neurotic and overbearing mothers and one of my biggest fears about having children is turning into someone like that and not being able to stop it. I read shit about how your brain shrinks when you're pregnant and PPD and women losing all social connections because they get so wrapped up in their child and it just scares me. The effects on my body don't really bother me, it's the idea that I could be twisted into a bitter or psychotic mom against my will that terrifies me.

Like obviously your life gets restructured around a baby's needs, but do you still feel like the same person? Do you find yourself getting angry or upset easier, do you lose interest in the things you liked before? Can you still enjoy the hobbies you had before motherhood even if you don't have the same free time? Were there things you swore you would do or not do before motherhood that you changed your mind on after?

No. 278599

I've had baby fever for years but I am actually scared of being pregnant.

No. 278644

You're a lot less self conscious when it comes to doing this like talking about poop/pee, being naked, having a messy car, etc. Of course it's always a good thing to be clean but I use to go out of my way to avoid any of this but I don't really care now. I keep everything clean still and be polite but im way less anxious

No. 278669

Honestly nonnie, it depends on the woman. My mother is also overbearing and neurotic. Swore up and down I'd never be like that, fortunately I didn't become like her. If anything, having my daughter helped me become the best version of myself. You have to set aside your ego a bit, but do not sacrifice all of your time and energy to your child. Taking time for myself (usually when the kiddo is asleep) has helped so very much. Having a partner who is like minded is extremely important to your mental health and growth as well.

Until I held my daughter in my arms, I was an absolute nervous wreck. Was I going to fuck up? How do I even take care of this tiny creature? Is my life going to change and will I become unrecognizable?? So much concern and fear. Then, after all the screaming, blood and pain… there she was. Safe, in my arms and everything just settled in place. All of those fears melted away and I knew everything was going to be alright. I still get worried but that's normal. Talk about it with your partner or support network. Always.

No. 278734

I am way less shy now, but for some reason before, I could ride a roller coaster and now I’m deathly afraid to.

No. 278743

NTA that's one thing I'm still fearful about, those moments where you feel existential because so much of your life is now focused on a blank slate person. I just don't want to fuck anything up, but I also have to put into the account I am a complex human being and so is everyone else. And the other thing is wondering how my partner would react to this reality that is now our child. Just a lot of uncertainty, but I know I feel certain he'll be a good father. Definitely better than many other men I've run into in life.

No. 278748

File: 1659167862785.jpg (63.34 KB, 609x429, 14886c733c1b55401ab2882a8cca22…)

There's a subset of moms who are OBSESSED with hoarding. It's one thing to be prepared but a lot of it's just wasteful. Freezers full of breastmilk that will likely go back before the baby even touches it. Diaper packs that will never be opened by the time the baby is potty training. Enough clothes for the baby to have a new outfit until it grows out of that size and a ton of bathing products that will take years to use kek. My baby is almost three months and I barely even finished using sample bottles the hospital gave me. I also have a ton of bottles that just create more stress since I only ever use a handful at a time and it just takes up space. Babies really don't even need that much but if you're going to splurg on things like body wash and stuff at least buy quality items and not Johnson's and Johnson's trash

No. 278755

FYI I had a home birth with my first and I’m the only woman in my NCT class (lessons on how to take care of a baby) to not have any complications. Everyone else who had a hospital birth ended in c section or some sort of traumatic intervention. Of course it depends where you are from and what health care is like in your country, but I wouldn’t write off a home birth for your first if you are a low risk pregnancy.

No. 278762

I'm tracking my pregnancy through the Flo App and it is fucking ridiculous for this stuff. There'll be a thread about 'baby bare minimums' or something and women will be posting rooms absolutely crammed to the rafters with stuff for children they haven't even conceived yet. And then because it's against the rules, any comment other 'WOW LOVE THIS FOR YOU' or 'This is manifesting. Praying for you to conceive soon hon xxx' isn't allowed. These women need serious help

No. 278768

It is baffling that you are posting this without realizing how incredibly lucky you got and how common complications are. If you had been one of those women who needed an emergency c-section or intervention you might not have your baby right now.

No. 279109

Those things are CAUSED by stuff like inducing and epidurals, you know that right? How do you think people birthed people for thousands of years?
In the animal world, when the mother is about to give birth she seeks a safe and quiet shelter to be alone. How sheltered do you think you feel in a space with cold flouroscent lights, a bunch of overworked staff wearing masks, fucked up sickness vibes and a bunch of ugly, beeping machines? It's the most dangerous place to be and trying to force birth there will NOT come easy and naturally.

No. 279375

Nta but I was in labor for the entire day and haven't dilated one bit, my blood pressure was constantly high because of the pain. My baby would have been dead if I didn't induce and get an epidural. Infant and maternal mortality rates were extremely high back then before hospitals were a thing and they still are very high in countries where home births are common. Do you even have kids?

No. 279390

>How do you think people birthed people for thousands of years?
Do you think they never had complications or something?

No. 279391

For thousands of years many men got married twice because their first wife died in childbed. For thousands of years farmers didn't even give their kids names until they were 5 because it was so common for babies to die. You are fucking retarded and you are giving retarded advice.

No. 279393

Samefag, but maybe just to add something constructive maybe OP >>276044 should consider a birthing center. It's a middle ground between home and hospital.

No. 279394

Anon is probably either male or doesn't have kids. I noticed it's much easier to judge women harshly for epidurals, c sections, induction when they don't have children themselves. They act like women just get a million interventions just for the fuck of it and as if there's something wrong with interventions. Childbirth is fucking BRUTAL on your body. You need a c section, induction, epidural, etc? Then so be it to help keep you relaxed during the process, induction is much healthier than being 2 or more weeks overdue. Epidurals are healthier than screaming until you pass out with your blood pressure through the roof. c sections are better than the baby halfway dying trying to come out

No. 279401

Either male or someone very young and naive and probably crunchy hippie type like that cow from /snow/ who doesn't wear shoes. Women in thirdworld countries would kill to have the privilege of a whole team of doctors surrounding them to make sure that both baby and mommy survive and are healthy, but dreadlock Willow whose entire nursery is gender neutral beige wants to give bath at home in her bathtub and risk her babies life and her own just so she can brag about it on Instagram.

No. 279416

I've seen plenty of crunchy moms do a 180 when they end up having kids and understand how it actually is. Mrs Midwest was like this and pre pregnancy acted like she would be a perfect broodmare, have a birth with no complications and then breastfeed no problem. She ended up having fertility issues, traumatic birth and got a c section 2 weeks early for her second pregnancy and was unable to breastfeed, then she never had anymore weird boob and hip sperging or anything like that. The world has a weird way of humbling out these people who don't know what they're talking about

No. 279537

I'd like to have a kid one day so i have this question. Do you nonnas pierce your baby's ears? I had my ears pierced when i was a baby and every girl my age and youger had too as i remember, but i let the earring holes fuse together because i don't like earring as an adult. Do people still pierce their baby's ears these days or let them choose when they're older? I wonder if it'll be weird for people if i don't pierce my baby girl's ears.

No. 279538

No, this hasn't been a thing for at least 20 years. If your child wants their ears pierced they can just ask for it when they are old enough to make that decision. Doing body modifications on your child without their consent is cruel.

No. 279552

Was this inspired by the discussion about it in /ot/ yesterday? Anyway, it does happen here sometimes but I'd say in general more people are against it than in favour of it. Personally I think it's not a modification big/impactful enough to be considered cruel but I'm more so not in favour of it as to not force my/society's idea of (capitalistic) femininity on a babygirl. Not that I see the point of it anyway, if she wants earrings later in life she can totally deal with the mere seconds of pain it takes to pierce the lobes.

No. 279561

i had no idea there was a discussion, it's been on my mind for a long time. Anyway that's good that people don't do it as much.

No. 279562

Cruel is an over exaggeration honestly anon.

No. 279595

Punching holes into your child for no reason is absolutely cruel, wtf is wrong with you?

No. 279604

Are you Mexican? The only other girls I’ve known around my age and younger who had their ears pierced as babies/toddlers were Mexican. My mom and aunties had their ears pierced pretty young, although even my grandmother and her sister were against it back in the 60s top kek at my great grandmother doing it herself while baby sitting

I think the people who still do it feel strongly about it, but they’re an extreme minority. And outside of the cultures that do do it, I think most people see it as cruel and bizarre.

No. 279614

Please don't tell me you're the fakeboi who thought buying bows was worse than literal misogyny

No. 279616

My cousin did it to her one year old daughter but I thought it's unnecessary and painful, just so the mother can think its "cute" or whatever. Once they're old enough to ask for them they can get it.

No. 279617

ntayrt but I'm black and my mom did it to me and my sister, and my friends of the same race also had it young

No. 279621

I'm Med but lived in the projects and my parents did this kek. It's painful af and ridiculous to expect children to follow proper care for piercings kek

No. 279622

Nta but why didn't your parents just take care of them? I had mine done as a baby so there really wasn't any other choice but for my mother to take care of them, but I thought it would be the same for children.

No. 279632

Earring holes are next to invisible, don't impact health and don't cause any discomfort or otherwise have any negative impact besides a moment of pain a baby won't remember. I don't think it's the right thing to do but calling it cruel is cheapening the word. You know what's cruel? Female circumcision on baby girls. That still happens to millions of girls in 2022 which severely affects the physical and mental health of girls/women and can even lead to death but by all means keep calling an insignificant tiny hole in the earlobe cruel, sure.

I have no clue who or what you're talking about.

No. 279636

It's extremely painful to stick a hot needle through the ear. There is literally no reason for doing it other than mom thinks earrings on baby look pretty. It is absolutely cruel to inflict unnecessary pain on your child for cosmetic reason.

No. 279637

She soaked then in alcohol and the girls I knew in elementary school were told to turn the earrings every now and then. Earring infections were common af it just feels like some weird useless maintenance thing for no apparent reason

No. 279639

Why would the needle be hot? What are you even talking about anon

No. 279640

File: 1659646247936.jpeg (119.87 KB, 720x720, images.jpeg)

What are these NICU octopuses called? I got one when my baby was in the NICU and it was so cute

No. 279641

Pretty sure it's the anon from the reddit thread who insisted bows were equivalent to child abuse

No. 279643

File: 1659646536338.jpg (94.47 KB, 750x750, il_fullxfull.1690860774_2tet.j…)

Not sure if this is helpful, but they look like crochet octopi. You could probably easily find someone who sells ones exactly like these on Etsy or social media, with the curly tentacles and everything.

No. 279674

so I apparently have chlamydia, and I've had it for years, because the last time I had sex was 3 years ago, and now I'm afraid I'll be infertile. would I have known if I had PID? because I feel no pain.
I wasn't planning on having kids, but knowing I could possibly never have them because of an std really sucks

No. 279734

I'm not sure, but they do a lot of screening for infections when you get pregnant. (Pee and swab tests) Reason being you might pass it to the baby. You having no symptoms might be a good sign though, so while it's a bit of a risk pregnancy it wouldn't be impossible, I think. Definitely need to be kept an extra eye on it before the birth.

No. 279787

You may or may not. The symptoms can be mild and easily over seen. I’d take PID with a grain of salt though there’s no test and it’s basically the equivalent of we don’t know what’s wrong with you there must be inflammation or a virus we can’t find. The worry is that clap causes scarring leading to infertility which is then labeled PID. But it’s just the std virus traveling up and is treated with antibiotics. It’s still the clap. Did they give you a blood test or a biopsy? Have you had any symptoms?
Pain — ranging from mild to severe — in your lower abdomen and pelvis
Unusual or heavy vaginal discharge that may have an unpleasant odor
Unusual bleeding from the vagina, especially during or after sex, or between periods
Pain during sex
Fever, sometimes with chills
Painful, frequent or difficult urination

No. 279855

File: 1659769484601.jpg (69.09 KB, 720x825, 1659758982636.jpg)

What's an appropriate amount of picture time? You get branded as a careless parent if you have zero pics of your children growing up but I'm scared of being the mum with the camera always shoved in the kids face

No. 279862

My parents took tons of pictures of me and I was born in the 90s, we have entire shelves filled with picture albums. I dont think my parents look like a camera, kek. It's a dumb thing to worry about.

No. 279885

I don't think it's a dumb thing to worry about, like the anon above said. It depends on whether you take pictures for yourself or to show off your kid unnecessarily. Of course, every parent thinks their kid is special, and you want to have their important moments captured for posterity, but I think taking pictures everyday, and even more so sharing them on social media, is too much. I have had my dad take my pics as a kid, whenever he felt there was something special he wanted to capture, however the photos remained in the family,at most some were shown to relatives.

No. 279896

She didn't mention anything about posting the pictures on social media. I assumed that it's a given not to do that, but I guess nowadays it isn't anymore.

No. 280012

How do you lose mom pooch?

No. 280045

No. 280145

No. 280846

I'm able to decide so much for the birth at the hospital and they're making me fill out a whole plan. Should the newborn get administered Vitamin K and ophthalmic ointment (antibiotic against eye infection)? They're optional, but are they really needed?

No. 280880

Yes. Vitamin K can save your baby. A lack of vitamin K makes a fall fatal. There’s only been one adverse reaction in a newborn in Turkey. The baby was fine because your first allergic reaction will not be deadly.
The eye drops are up to you. It’s to prevent bacteria from down there from getting in the babies eyes and giving them pink eye. You can also just put a little breast milk in their eyes the first few days instead. I didn’t and went with milk and was fine.
>>Yes Vitamin k 100%
>>eye drops or breast milk your choice

No. 280881

They're not "needed" per say but the eye cream is def suggested. becareful with the HPV vaccine because I got it with my first and she ended up extremely fussy the first two weeks and needed 3 ER trips

No. 281025

How the fuck do you take care of yourself with a baby? I feel like my baby is dressed to the 9s and having top tier skincare while all I do for myself is try to stick with a good diet for breastfeeding

No. 281027

Do you have a bassinet? I used to lay it in the bathroom when mine was a newborn when she was sleeping take a bath. If you can get an afternoon and can afford it maybe get a haircut and get yourself a nice drink of some kind. It helped me. Do you have a baby wrap? I used to just strap the baby to me to brush my teeth and wash my face. Etc. focus on hygiene over aesthetics. Keeping your face clean and hydrated and your brows trimmed will make you feel a lot better and look more put together. Comfortable Lounge wear that I also felt good in was something I ended up investing in. I live in it. It’s easy and buying multiple sets means when one gets dirty I grab the exact same shirt or pants. No stress no color matching. Easy base colors. Soft fabrics. I like wearing a couple rings and a necklace and having my piercings matching because makeup free in all black or grey lounge wear with pulled up hair and a clean face I think it looks pretty decent. No mess no fuss. Easy. Then I just slip on a pair of black flats with supports in them to protect my feet.

No. 281075

i'm 9 weeks to the day and the fatigue is so insane, so is the nausea, but i genuinely cannot stand the food adversion! it makes me feel crazy hearing my stomach growl and yet when i eat it's almost as if my body is rejecting it. aaaah

No. 281103

First trimester I couldn't stomach anything either, try sticking to juices and crackers and other very bland foods

No. 281120

One of the few things I could eat and really enjoy in the first trimester was bread and butter and lightly salted oven chips.

No. 281334

Any other non-burger anons kind of sad that baby-showers are not a thing in your country? I watch a lot of mommy-vloggers on Youtube and they get almost everything they need for the baby gifted from family and friends, it's such a luxury. They just put whatever they want on a baby registry and then get it given to them as gifts.

My dad agreed to pay for a stroller, but everything else for the baby we had to pay ourselves, spending over 3.000€ on everything. It's just expected here that you buy things for yourself, you maybe get some gifts from family but it's mostly useless stuff like toys and plushies that babies can't play with until they are much older.

I really wish I had a big family that gave us generous gifts like that.

No. 281363

The medical bills from having a baby here in burgerland are way more than 3000 euro, trust me, you’re still coming out on top.

No. 281527

Americans are materialistic. Sure we had baby items but everyone fucked off when it came to baby crying, changing diapers, helping out around the house, etc. It's even worse if you're a first time parent and have no clue what you're doing. I'd much rather pay for everything if it meant getting actual physical help instead

No. 281562

I pay 55% income tax, fuck off with that shit. You could get health insurance in the US for much less than what Europeans pay in taxes to get our "free" (It's not free, we still pay for it monthly) health insurance. Americans live much cheaper.

No. 281582

This is stupid. Sure you can get health insurance for "cheaper" but insurances don't pay shit anymore. Giving birth will cost in the thousands along with insurance. I know a nurse who pays like $500 for insurance monthly and is still in debt for giving birth over years ago. I'd rather pay 55% taxes and have free healthcare instead of paying for insurance that doesn't even cover anything

No. 281588

Yea I was paying $180 a month for my insurance and still had to pay 6k for giving birth. That didn’t include the ultrasounds and blood tests and copays. Probably cost me around $8k total.

No. 281603


That's so crazy, if I lived in America I wouldn't be able have my daughter. We can afford it with help of family already only and the health system is completely free here.

No. 281612

I could give birth twice a year in the US for the amount of money we pay in taxes every year. My husband and me still pay 1.000€ every month for our "free" European health insurance because we are both self-employed. Americans are fucking clueless about how things work in the EU.

No. 281613

It's not free, if it's free for you that means you're probably unemployed. Taxpayers pay for your insurance, you're welcome. I wish I lived in the US and only had to pay for my own shit, socialized healthcare only benefits people who don't work and everyone else has to shoulder the cost. It's such a joke.

No. 281629

nta but that's not how it works in the US. your insurance cost goes up based on the collective health issues of everyone using that insurance company, so you end up paying for everyone else anyway. and contrary to popular belief taxpayers also pay for government funded insurance for military personnel and people below the poverty line, so it's worse actually. average insurance in the US is 300+ a month for an individual, and most insurance requires thousands in copays before it actually pays anything or you end up spending 500 or more a month for yourself.

No. 281636

We pay 1.000€ a month for two people in our first world EU country that Americans think has "free healthcare".

I just wanted some other Euros to share my annoyance with not getting treated special at a baby shower and getting free gifts and nice things from family, but amerisharts of course have to chime in to say "hurr durr you get free health-care tho" cause that's what you're told by communist trannies who think Europe is some utopia of socialized free medicine for everyone.

No. 281649

Your income adjusts towards taxes though so it's not like you're making peanuts just to pay taxes. Americans have to pay taxes and shitty healthcare and don't even benefit from either

No. 281652

>talk about America
>mad when Americans respond and correct you on how things really are

No. 281664

If there's white kinda hard bits inside of my nipples during week 32 is that colostrum or should I be concerned? It's hard to clean them with normal showering and I get them out with tons of soap, water and a qtip

No. 281683

i think you spend too much time on 4chan. also in response to your other post, it's not like the average american gets thousands of dollars worth of stuff at their baby shower. maybe stop watching mommy-vloggers. that's probably why you spent 3k on baby stuff.

No. 281702

Nta but
>Get off of 4chan
>Stop watching mommy vloggers
Lol what? What 4channer watches mommy blogs?

No. 281773

This is why nobody likes Americans. You are so proud of being entirely ignorant. You're the ones who think Europeans get "free healthcare" and I corrected you. You constantly bitch and moan about how bad you have it in America yet you feel smugly superior and talk down to other people constantly.

"Oh you silly Europeans should be glad you get everything for free"
"…but we don't"
"But… it's actually a lot more expensive to live here"

No. 281803

NTA but baby showers aren’t nearly the thing you see on social media. Both of you sound ignorant.

No. 281811

no, you're the one who doesn't understand how american health care works. please don't have children, they will be stupid.

No. 281818

Idc which one of you is right or wrong but I can't count the number of times I've scrolled past this thread and seen
>please dont have kids! coz they'll be dumb like you!
Over some petty lil disagreement. Nutty.

No. 281822

Saying the same thing over and over with no relevance to the discussion sure makes you look like a high IQ individual instead of a dumb amerishart.

No. 281829

Nta, but it's very clear that you just are looking for an infight anon. You have been ignoring any valid points that anons have been bringing up (like how baby showers are not the same for the average American as they are on social media, or how people don't really help with the baby after they're born) just so you can argue about who has it worse and keep spewing out insults. You decided to talk about American baby showers, so it's really dumb to be upset that Americans chimed in with their opinion on baby showers. If you don't want any non-Europeans responding to your posts then go post in the designated thread for that or maybe just don't talk about non-European countries and expect the people from that country to not voice their own thoughts. Baby showers shouldn't cause this much salt.

No. 281833

The immediate comments were not about babyshowers but "but you should be happy you get FREE HEALTH CARE". You literally pushed the discussion into that direction because you are ignorant and misinformed about Europe. I specifically asked for replies from other Europeans, not Americans. The issue here is that Americans can never shut the fuck up even if they have nothing to contribute and are uneducated about anything outside of America.

But you know what, I am the one in the wrong for asking for empathy on a website full of sociopathic NEETs.

No. 281836

I didn't make any response to you about healthcare. It was one reply and not even the only one you got.
>The issue here is that Americans can never shut the fuck up even if they have nothing to contribute and are uneducated about anything outside of America.
Like I said, if you don't want anyone who's not European to reply to you, go post in the thread for that or don't talk about other countries and expect the people from those countries to not give their opinion.

No. 281874

Kek you claimed an American paying 8k+ to give birth was less expensive than universal healthcare, nevermind that was a single thing and Americans avoid going to the hospital and doctor due to the pricing. You also act like the average wage in European countries isn't high due to taxes being high, so even if you're only getting 15 an hour after taxes that's still a lot more than Americans get with or without taxes the difference is the taxes actually go to benefit you. You euroshits use to mock America's healthcare all the time and brag about how much free/low cost stuff is handed to you simply because taxes actually benefits you, I especially hear this from the scandis mocking Americans. Now is suddenly sucks for you because you wanna be the oppressed one now?

No. 281889

no one is going to feel sorry for you because your country doesn't 'do' baby showers, you're literally whining about not getting free things.

No. 281900

Ah yes, let's fight with each other, that'll bring the cost of childcare down. Use that energy you've got for each other for those broken systems.

No. 281902

this, thank you. i'm the anon who originally told her she was mistaken about america's healthcare costs, i never said she had to feel anything about her own, she just sounds salty about nothing.

No. 281910

>you claimed an American paying 8k+ to give birth was less expensive than universal healthcare
It is. We pay 1.000€ a month for healthcare. That's 12.000€ a year. For ameritards: 12.000 is more than 8.000. That doesn't even include taxes we pay, if you included that I could easily give birth twice a year in the US for what we pay here. Once again, you are wrong about "free healthcare" in Europe and that you have it worse in the US. The only people who benefit from free healthcare in Europe are people who are on government assistance… and guess what? Those same people get free healthcare in the US too.

I have never once bragged about how great things are in Europe ever, it absolutely sucks here and the people who do are either leeches of the system (unemployed) or teenagers who still live with their parents. Also probably a lot of LARPing Americans who are as ignorant as you.

>you're literally whining about not getting free things
And you're whining about not getting free healthcare. Yeah, I think it's great that American mothers get things for free from their family and friends as well as are celebrated and get a whole day dedicated to them. It's a luxury that apparently you don't know how to appreciate.

No. 281949

Your heathcare is not universal if you have to pay 1,000€ for it per month dumbass

No. 281951

It's nice to get free things at a babyshower but depending on your family and social circle you somtimes pay much more total for babyshower gifts for others over the years than you would just getting the items you want for yourself. Especially if you have just one child and a lot of friends with several children.

Don't know where babyshoweranon is from, I'm scandi, taxes are very high but scale to earnings and obviously cover much more than just healthcare. Scandinavia is a bad place to get filthy rich with your own business but great for everyone in regular employment

No. 282001

Nonas i am losing my shit. I got my first positive pregnancy test a few days ago and have been testing every morning just to be sure because I have major anxiety over it being a chemical pregnancy. I haven’t booked in with a doctor yet (I’m in the middle of transferring between GPs since my old one is in a completely different city) but I’ll be making an appointment by the end of this week. I’m nervous to tell my boyfriend because I don’t want us both being heartbroken if this is chemical, although I have literally no reason to believe it’s chemical. Am I just unhinged or do other people worry about this shit too?

No. 282014

I am in my first two week wait and it so surreal. Am I carrying around a whole person with a lifetime of growth and pain and love and loss, or is it just going to be a period like every other period in my life? How did you nonnas deal with the existential weirdness of waiting to know if you're pregnant?

No. 282030

i'm having a GIRL!!!!!!

i'm done! that's all i wanted! my husband is super happy too, he doesn't really care about the sex but he knows how much i wanted a girl and surprised me with a baby dress he bought and knew i'd like. i get this really emotional swelling feeling knowing that he's going to be such a positive force in her life. I never got to know my dad since he passed a while ago.

just wanted to post sappy stuff

No. 282032

congrats nona!!!!!!!!! hugs hugs hugs!!! i hope your baby girl grows healthily!!!

No. 282047

the tww is the worst. my first time i was convinced i was pregnany bc i had all the "symptoms" kek now i just try to relax and not think about it until around my period. it is really hard to focus on anything else though

No. 282049

You should tell him anon. Even if you do have a chemical, at least then he can support you through it. Do you have communication issues with him generally because the idea you'd keep a pregnancy loss from your partner seems unusual to me.

Congrats BTW. First trimester is scary but you've higher odds of making it through than not.

No. 282122


We’re actually really good communication wise, I think this is just me being a nervous wreck. I have a mini surprise reveal planned which is why I was waiting to tell him anyway, it’s just weird being the only one who knows right now.
Thank you! I’m definitely just being a bit crazy kek despite what it seems, I’m actually super excited and thrilled!

No. 282124

Aw a baby farmer, congrats and all the best to your family!

No. 282143

Not my baby but my brother and his lovely wife just had a little girl, they live in another country so we are going to organise to fly over in September to meet her. I can't wait!

No. 282146

Giving birth once and paying thousands=/= paying a thousand each month and having your wages scale so you can see the doctor whenever you want without going bankrupt

Anyway fucking choose one euroshits. Is America shit tier with healthcare or are you being driven to your last penny in taxes?

No. 282197

Did anyone take/plan on taking early maternity leave? I'm thinking of going around 33/34 weeks to have some time to myself before the birth (never going to have it ever again), just like to hear other anons experiences

No. 282224

euro anon is braindead and talking about paying in income tax, even though americans pay into health care via income tax also, and on top of that pay for their personal privatized insurance and copays and pharmacare on top of that. she is angry that the euros coming out of her taxes may be paying for universal health care for others without realizing america has low income taxpayer funded health care, that private health insurance rates are at the insurance companies discretion, and that insurance companies raise the rates based on how much they cumulatively pay out to all insurance members. for example states with high obesity tend to have higher insurance rates because obese people go to the doctor more and insurance companies lose money from that. so they make their healthy members pay more so they can profit.

No. 282247

I did two weeks before my due date. I don't regret it at all. Gave me time to do things and rest.

No. 282280

I keep dreaming about babies

No. 282311

I quit my job in the 3rd month after vomiting there twice and feeling like I'd pass out. I have absolutely no idea how nonnas do it up until the 30ish week, where I go buy a couple of things in the supermarket and feel completely spent for the day. To be fair my work was a bit physical and not the typical chill office job, but still.

No. 282350

Your husband is gonna leave and cheat on you while you're gonna be too busy taking care of your daughter. Mark my words.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 282353

Feeling jealous are we troon? Kys

No. 282480

A few months ago my boyfriend told me about how much he loves kids and it has given me the absolute worst baby fever of my life. I’ve had it come and go over the years but it was always a short phase. Now I’m seriously considering it. I have some family friends who have an elementary school aged daughter and he was great with her. The two of us spent some time entertaining her while our parents talked and it was a lot of fun doing that together. It also made my fever a million times worse. We are in no position as a couple or individually to even consider this right now but I feel like I could have a future with him and the more time we spend together the stronger the feeling gets.
I grew up with the feeling that men only had kids because ebil femoids forced them to but seeing a man who seems like he would be an active part of his childrens lives has given me some hope that I can create the loving family I never had.
I had a dream last night that he had gotten his ex pregnant before we got together and she was having his kid and I got so insanely jealous kek.

No. 282493

Get married before you have kids.

No. 282497

Oh yeah I’d never actively plan to have kids while not married to someone. I’m not ready to have kids for another few years either, I just think he could be a good choice.

No. 282601

I'm lesbian and would like to have a biological child one day. Sperm donation to lesbian couple is legal in my country but I'm very torn on the moral ( to the child ) aspect of it.

I come from a family who's ethnicity on each side is very defined and we can trace back which features we share with an ancestor. As someone who grow up in a different place than the rest of my extended family it helped me accept a lot of thing about me, seeing I share them with family members. It particulary hit me how important it is to someone who did not have that chance, since a few years I have been a close friend with a classmate who was adopted at birth. When I showed her family photo and talked about my ancestry she was super interested, as for her she doesn't even know the tribes of her parent, and still joke about her biological mother, is proud she look like a royality from her birth country…etc. She is proud and look up to people in her adoptive family, but she is still hurt from not having that biological link, and is still very ongoing on understending her identity… I also know another adopted child since I was little and he has still difficulty socially placing himself ( he is very shy ), and I remember he and his mom being akward or even hurt a little when people of the kid's race would talk to him and ignore his mom (it happend a lot).

Even if I choose a donor who is of a similar ethnic group, the fact his 2 parents are woman is going to lead to him being socially treated like an adoptee, but with the shadow of the donor in his life. Not given by a woman or couple to the care of another couple because they know the child will have a better life but being alive because of a man every body know exist the moment your parent enter the picture.

There was a woman in my family who raised a child she had without a partner, the child is going well as far as I know and I'm lucky to have mens in my family who are exemple of good males figure but still.
When I look up video of lesbian couple having kids like this and the paternity became a part of the discussion I alway see comments like "my mom got dumped by my dad when I was little but my uncle was a wonderfull father figure" or other situation where the biofather is out of the pictures due to infortunate event. But in this situation I have to make the choices knowing the consequences for the child by choosing sperm donation.
My desire for being able to bound with a child during pregnancy could be more important than my child social and psychological turmoil ?

sorry for the blog post but it has been running in my mind for some time

No. 282620

Are there any men in your wife/girlfriend's family who you'd feel comfortable taking a donation from? A brother or cousin perhaps? I assume it would require a contract and legal considerations to prevent him from suddenly claiming custody, but may establish more of that close familial connection than a random donor.

I've thought of this as well since I'm gay and also part of a very specific cultural minority in my country, and my ideal is to marry/have partnership with a woman of a similar background.

No. 282623

NTA but got into this conversation with an ex fiancé it didn’t end up working out with. My worry with that was always how would the child feel as an adult? Would they feel “cheated” finding out their biological dad was their uncle their whole time and like we were “lying”.

No. 282624

Umm why did this user get banned? They just expressed an opinion.

Threats like "kys" don't get a ban, then?? Odd.

Honestly I feel like that's an issue of patriarchy. Not the fault of the parents or the child trying to make sense of this world. If people disrespect the mother because she's a woman, …then those people are at fault. And yeah obviously two women being married is going to clash with patriarchal values. Because they don't even believe lesbians exist.

If I had a dime for every time I heard a man suggest to a lesbian that she "hasn't yet met the right man"… These men will pretend to be 'progressive' and 'so supportive', but actually they always expect women to cater to men. And they get real angry when women choose to live without them. They even can't stand single women being single. It's so annoying how predittory those men are.

So yeah: we can raise a child without a man. As long as the child has a loving parent there for them. If the child has 2 loving moms, then what's the problem?

Dunno I'd feel weird reproducing with the sibling of my partner. I'd worry that this could lead to eventual super weird love triangles and unneeded drama. I think it's better to choose a sperm donor who is not so closely related to my family, and who will not be around the child nor around me as much.

What's most important/relevant in a sperm donor is health (and good looks: genetic diversity). So I'd pick a male friend for that. Someone I know is healthy, leads a healthy lifestyle. But just a friend I'm not super close with. A male friend I don't see every day. Like a guy I can trust, but was never romantically involved with, and who lives far away from me. Ideally he would be married and have his own kids. (So he wouldn't have strong urge to be a father of my kid…).

But that's just my take on this.

Wow that's a lot. Yeah I recently discovered women who give birth are given a huge bill just to give birth at a hospital/clinic. It's insane. I don't understand how women afford it. (Yes some have good jobs and are well off. But what do the rest of the women do???) So scary when I look at the expenses of the whole birthing process (considering a healthy diet and all other needed expenses). Like… why is reproduction come at such a price/cost??? Seems needlessly inflated. And the nurses who do most of the work at the hospital don't even see that money. Where the f* is it going??

No. 282627

Sorry nonna I did not explain I'm not even in a relationship right now ! Only wondering.

Tbh it could be a solution to have someone from the parters family but it has a slim possibility of happening.

I feel you on wanting to marry someone of a similar background, the social aspect put me off a lot, I have huge cultural difficulty with women of a higher social class than me, or who have very little connection to a land. I never dated out of my race but even outside of my ethnicity it was difficult, I knew we where too different to build of a life together.

That interesting, iv'e heard they say to tell the kid when they are old enought not to get confuse ( I guess when he his old enought to really understand biology ).

There is obviously an aspect of patriarchy but the biology part can't be denied. I remember multiple time a week kids asking a friend in primary school why her little brother was black, and it continued for years, if kids know white+white= a black biological child is not possible ( unless rare case I know) and female+female= a biological child is not either, they will obviously point it out to the kid. Adult are just assholes if their mad about it but kids it's another story. The self confidence issues steming from not being able to reconize physical traits from his family for the child is also a big part of it for me, because it helped me a lot.

No. 282631

It’s not really an opinion they’re just being miserable. The fact that you can’t see that is strange.

No. 282635

There's a schizo sounding future-predictor type poster who has been ending their posts with 'mark my words' lately so I'm guessing its them.

No. 282739

Telling an anon their boyfriend will cheat and ditch out of the blue in the future isn't an opinion kek it's scizo sperg

No. 282773

File: 1661000684290.jpg (417.41 KB, 3366x986, IMG_20220820_0756274 (2).jpg)

Nonnas, please help me. Is this positive or am I seeing things? I took the picture within 10 minutes of doing the test, if that helps. I don't want to wake my husband up to squint with me.

No. 282774

I see the faint line but I'm not sure if that's an indicator that it's positive, hopefully an anon who knows more than me can chime in. Might wanna take a second test though

No. 282784

Possibly weakly positive. Take another one tomorrow, hCG levels rise rapidly and you should have a more prominent line tomorrow if you are. 9 DPO is pretty early still. Will be holding thumbs for you!

No. 282806

telling women that they are doomed to misfortune is actually not the based take you think it is. it reveals deep misogyny.

my post was 100% positive and they're theorizing my husband is gonna cheat and leave me. almost like they want that, it's incel/troon behavior.

No. 282875

It makes me a little happy seeing other nonas talking about their recent pregnancies/pregnancy attempts. I’m trying right now too. I wonder, will this thread be filled with new baby posts next spring?

No. 282957

Is it a grey line or is there any pink to it? That brand has been getting terrible reviews lately for having indent lines visible without ever being used. If it’s pink, it’s most likely a very faint positive! Try again tomorrow or the day after when the line should be a little darker, or try a different brand of test if you’re able to get them (preferably pink dye tests!)

No. 282959

How did/will you tell your family/friends that you’re pregnant?
I’ve been obsessed with watching videos of other people’s pregnancy announcements, some of them are really sweet and heartwarming.
I’m really excited to share my news with my family but I’m waiting until I get a scan photo to do a silly little reveal.

No. 282973

File: 1661124727374.jpg (28.93 KB, 357x282, FRER 9DPO 10DPO.jpg)

It's pink, and it got darker today. I also got a faint positive on a Natalist brand test.
I hope you get your baby soon!

No. 282980

My baby was admitted to the NICU for a day for a minor reason (not even sick/injured) but fuck as much as I hate to say it I needed this kind of break so badly. She has colic and I've been dying to clean my house and decorate it, I have no family other than my husband and both of us have been struggling to care for her and ourselves especially with hectic schedules. I'm just happy I can finally clean, decorate and have a little spa day. It's just going to be a pain to pump since I'm an overproducer and my body doesn't respond well to pumps

No. 283035

Congrats nonnie!

No. 283163

File: 1661218587393.png (148.39 KB, 651x893, image.png)

For pregnant anons who are probably getting sucked into places full of mothers who may or may not be shit but eager to give advice, I'd recommend reading up on the articles at http://fedisbest.com, e.g. https://fedisbest.org/2017/10/world-health-organization-revised-breastfeeding-guidelines-put-babies-risk-despite-pleas-experts-informing-public-not-top-priority/
I went down the rabbit hole this weekend, and holy fucking shit, new mothers are unironically starving their newborns en masse because they're urged to try exclusive breastfeeding at all costs even though delayed milk production is a very common issue and the medically acceptable weight loss guidelines among proponents of this (5-10%) put infants at risk of developing lifelong cognitive deficits and neurological issues.
There are a lot of nonscientific articles on the site, but the research e.g. on rehospitalization and birth weight loss rates among exclusively breastfed infants and within 'baby friendly hospitals' lays out such an absurd and unnecessary public health problem that it's hard to even believe, dios mio.

No. 283164

And if anyone tries to use the 'muh hunter-gatherer lifestyle' to appeal to nature, communal breastfeeding was very common if not the norm in pre-industrial societies. As was failure to thrive

No. 283184

Sorry I'm not a mother but Jesus Christ, I knew there were women who exclusively breastfeed but I didn't think there were women who still do it even if their babies are struggling. I know everyone has their own beliefs but it shouldn't get in the way of the wellbeing of your child.

Not really related, but do mothers who do exclusive breastfeeding use bottles at all?

No. 283187

I EBF and pump then use bottles when I want to nap or I'm unable to be there for baby. Breastfeeding is hardcore as fuck. Breastfeeding can be easy if you have the proper milk supply but that's not reality for a lot of women for various reasons. It would definitely be easier taking the formula route but I really want my baby to get the antibodies, probiotics, etc. so it's worth it imo.

No. 283197

Same as you. You also have to make sure you’re always well fed and hydrated. Fuck up your nutrients. You fuck up your milk. Women like Alice on Snow (she’s sick and that thread is horrible) who force themselves to drop weight right after are fucking their milk up.

No. 283247

>I didn't think there were women who still do it even if their babies are struggling.
There's a LOT of pressure for women to breastfeed for as long as possible at all costs, especially in certain crunchy/''''natural''''''' parenting circles. If you spend any amount of time in these places you'll hear stories of new mothers jumping through ridiculous hoops to exclusively breastfeed or casually dropping that their kid had to be hospitalized for weight loss or jaundice. It's really fucked up. Exclusive breastfeeding is ideal where possible, but there isn't even reliable evidence that exclusive breastfed children have better outcomes (with some minor exceptions) than exclusive formula-fed children, let alone better outcomes than children whose diet is supplemented by formula. It's actually really fucked up if you think about it; there might be hundreds of thousands of children with avoidable cognitive deficits running around because their mothers were shamed into thinking that starvation is better than temporary or supplemental use of formula or donor milk

No. 283262

Has anyone done the MaterniT21 test? I'm skeptical that it won't simply give false positives. Is it a scam, or a helpful screening tool?

No. 283264

>casually dropping that their kid had to be hospitalized for weight loss or jaundice. It's really fucked up
Jaundice/weight loss isn't exactly breast milks problem. My baby had both of these (jaundice was genetic from her father, weight loss was because she refused to eat)

We tried formula but ended up even worse than before. I also have an oversupply too. Sometimes its just normal but jaundice isn't very serious. Also formula has been sued for causing NEC. If you're using formula you have to be super careful. I breastfeed and pump but I keep a high end organic formula (that isn't Similac or enfamil) around just in case

No. 283275

Any other nonas thinking of doing IVF for the purpose of sex selection? I don’t want to be forced to raise a scrote.

No. 283276

IVF was made by misogynistic moids and fertility clinics don't give a single fuck about women's health and will not do shit if you get cancer or premature menopause. Your best option would be to get the gender testing early and abort if it's a moid or just simply adopt a girl

No. 283289

why not have a boy and raise him properly?

No. 283300

Little boys are rambunctious and regardless of how you raise them, most older moids will groom him into being a shit human being just like him

No. 283306

none of this is true though. you're describing a lot of socialization that you can, not socialize into him.

No. 283309

NTA but a lot of boys raised by good parents, even feminist parents, still end up violent and misogynistic later on.

No. 283311

A little over half of newborns have jaundice; the problem is when bilirubin is reaching dangerous concentrations and causing brain damage, as it is in these cases of starvation.
>Also formula has been sued for causing NEC
NEC is very rare (1 per >2000 infants) and most commonly found in preemies with very low birthweight fed specifically with cow milk-based formula (probably why hospitals prioritize donor milk for them), whereas there's evidence that something like 1 in 77 EBF newborns have to be hospitalized for starvation/dehydration-related complications. If a mother gives birth to a healthy baby isn't able to produce adequate supply/has delayed copious milk production it's a no-brainer to supplement given the cost-benefit analysis.

No. 283353

I told everyone who cared to hear about how I will give birth in a natural birth house (that's attached to a hospital, if any complication happens) and take no epidural etc and now I'm on week 36 and as I was packing the bag for the hospital I was overcome with nervousness and fear and I'm having second thoughts. I told husband about this and he was just like "don't worry I won't tell anyone" but kek yea.
Doesn't help that in the 34 week ultrasound it showed the baby has quite a size and head diameter and weight already above average.

No. 283355

Anon kids need to socialize with other children other than you and family. Moids are predatory towards little girls on a creepy and sexual way and they're predatory to moids in the way of trying to normalize porn addiction, cheating, drugs, laziness, etc

No. 283356

>as it is in these cases of starvation.
If you know it's common then why would you assume parents who are EBF are starving their child and causing jaundice?
>1 in 77 EBF newborns have to be hospitalized for starvation/dehydration-related complications.
Links please
>If a mother gives birth to a healthy baby isn't able to produce adequate supply/has delayed copious milk production it's a no-brainer to supplement given the cost-benefit analysis.
I suppose but for some women it's hard to tell the difference between colostrum and actual breast milk, not to mention plenty of babies simply don't want to eat much on day number one. If a woman has a good milk supply it's not fair to assume she's starving the child because of issues with weight, jaundice etc. Many babies simply refuse to eat and sometimes it can take over two hours for newborns to take a bottle. Not everything that's wrong with a baby is the mother's fault

No. 283360

because moids don’t become misogynists because 'they weren’t raised properly', it’s other scrotes that socialize them into misogyny

No. 283362

Source on that? Because it sounds like blackmail meant to force women to take cock at any cost.

No. 283369

Weird question but are there any anons here from abusive homes? I had an emotionally incestuous mother who was verbally abusive and sometimes physically. Also had a string of shitty stepfathers who hit me and said cruel things. I just can't shake this feeling that I'll make an inferior parent because I never really had a good stable parent myself. There was one stepfather who was absolutely incredible with me, we're still in touch and he's honestly a big inspiration for me in terms of parenting because of the love and patience he showed me. Problem is my mother was only with him for just under 3 years and after that I only got to visit him about once every two months at most, so the bad parenting experiences outweigh the good. I am in contact with my biological father also but things are so-so with him and I think due to meeting him in my mid 20s we just haven't bonded like we should, although I will say his wife is fantastic to me and is someone who's really there for me when I need her. I talk this through with my wife quite a lot and she tells me that I'm great with kids because I'm very involved with my three sisters (all under 11) but that's being a sister, not a parent. I'm worried I'll either be too emotionally distant because of the fear of failing or I'll go all in and become emotionally incestuous like my own mother. I don't even know what I'm asking here, but I'd love some input from anons who had similar abusive and unstable upbringings.

No. 283371

If you have a good relationship with your child and communicate with them openly and positively always how would they fall into groomer hands like this. I swear girls on here make up possible future stuff to get upset/panic about that doesn't even happen in normal households

No. 283374

anon sounds too stupid to raise kids if she thinks that, tbh. does she somehow think girls are less impressionable/inclined to peer pressure?

No. 283378

Have you not been paying attention? IVF cycles can traumatize women due to likeliness of miscarriages and other complications, forces women to take a shit ton of shots and hormones while all men have to do is jerk off. Plenty of women have been sent into menopause with it,. Kourtney Kardashian for example. I swear to God some of you will support anything if it means pissing off other anons

No. 283379

You sound too stupid in general. Girls can definitely fall for peer pressure but it's barely as common for women to be groomed by other women to be little shits

No. 283382

please don't have kids.

No. 283383

Are you going to explain or just say "don't have kids" on repeat? You'd hate to see what kind of retards are having kids nowadays if you think "men being groomed to be shitheads is more common than women being groomed to be pieces of shit" qualifies as "too stupid to have kids" territory. Seriously especially with the amount of child abuse, people having kids just for the purpose of abusing them, and everything else in the world and this is the shit you waste your energy on? Pathetic. Reminds me of the anons who thought bows were child abuse.

No. 283384

>>283382 nta but youre retarded, moids are usually influenced by shitty moids more than girls being influenced by other shitty women and girls, youre the one who shouldn't have kids if anything if youre that socially unaware

No. 283386

Nta but I think you shouldn't have kids because you're not going to be able to protect them.

No. 283388

What does that have to do with protecting? No one said girls can't be influenced, we're just saying moids are more likely to.

No. 283397

This is definitely not correct though. Women get influenced by both male and female peers. Plus they have a chance of winding up pregnant. And in this era, some places let kids troon out without parental approval. Anon shouldn't have any kids simply because she has no idea how they work.

No. 283398

Explain then why sons would be more likely to call the girls who reject them selfish whores and why their internet history is filled with keywords like "lady parts" and "kill all women".

No. 283401

It's almost like socialization is different for both sexes or something! The point is you can't control kids in general at all. If you think can't control a son as well as a daughter you're wrong.

No. 283405

You sound like a moid who's pissed off that someone is calling out men. Nothing I said doesn't say "I don't know how kids work" I even agreed that girls can get influenced too but moids are much more predatory to make other moids shit, girls are often victims of moids in different ways. Stop taking things out of context just for the sake of infighting

No. 283406

You sound like a moid who's pissed off that someone is calling out men. Nothing I said doesn't say "I don't know how kids work" I even agreed that girls can get influenced too but moids are much more predatory to make other moids shit, girls are often victims of moids in different ways. Stop taking things out of context just for the sake of infighting

No. 283407

No? You really think that social influence could easily be fixed with good parenting? Plenty of food parents have had their kids shoot up schools, commit suicide, sexually assault people, in fact my abusive ex boyfriend had an amazing yet firm mother. Acknowledging the fact that socialization can effect kids and how moids are more likely to be socialized to be shittier isn't saying you can't control children. You're the one who shouldn't have kids if you jump to those ridiculous conclusions all because someone said moids are more likely to be conditioned by other moids to be shit regardless of how good of a parent you are.

No. 283408

You will never, ever be able to control any child 100% even with expert level parenting

No. 283437

Why does it seem like there's moids her placing an ungodly amount of blame on women anytime their baby isn't perfect as well as advertising for industries meant to hurt women?
>SIDS is because the mum is stupid
>If you have a son and he ends up shitty it's because mum is stupid
>Jaundice and weight loss is because mum is stupid
Reminds me of moids who blame criminals moms instead of the criminal or people who influenced him

As for formula and IVF, IVF has been known to be invasive procedures requiring stuff that takes a massive toll on women's bodies meanwhile they do nothing to attempt to increase the moids sperm count and quality of sperm, not to mention the risk it is for fetal complications. Formula companies have been known to give third world countries formula until the women stop producing milk so they're basically starving babies. Not to mention the mass amounts of recalls and propaganda from formula industries. Low milk supply definitely exists but most women can produce enough milk or have the ability too and breastfeeding, even if supplemented with formula can reduce the risk of breast cancer

No. 283462

I hope this isn't too rude or anything, but if you're infertile, is your period short?

No. 283475

I don't know if unfertile women have short periods always but I can tell you that having a short period doesn't mean you're infertile.

No. 283504

No. Most women with fertility issues (PCOS) have very long, heavy and far apart periods.

No. 283549

I heard that this might related, but at least for me it wasn't the case. Usually I would have 3-4 day long periods where on the 4th day I only wore a pad to basically catch spotting. Not using any birth control in years btw. However I've gotten pregnant basically right after beginning to try.

No. 283571

I worded it wrong, I meant short length between periods?

I have long periods but short lengths between my last and recent periods

No. 283599

What’s the etiquette around a friend (work bff) who’s doing IVF and is very high risk for miscarriage? She only got one “good” quality embryo out of a prospective 21 eggs. I told her I was superstitious so I wouldn’t say anything for another 7 weeks and I think she would prefer that because she told me she wasn’t allowing herself to get excited until the second trimester, but I still want to check in on her and help her if she needs it.

No. 283634

You have a short menstrual cycle then. It can be a sign of hormonal imbalance but there’s no real way to know unless you see your doctor. How short are your cycles (from the start of one period, to the start of the next)?

No. 283663

How did everyone decide when to tell family about a pregnancy? I know my husband is eager to share the good news, but ultimately is leaving the decision up to me. He wants to tell his family as soon as I'll allow because he sees it as good news that is a delight to share. I want to wait until I can't hide it anymore because of risk of miscarriage, as well as not wanting to be seen as an incubator, not wanting unsolicited advice and judgement, and because telling my family would absolutely mean that my employer would find out too, and I am not sure how I want to handle leaving work yet. If we tell one parent, we have to tell everyone.
I'd check in with her without focusing pregnancy. Ask her about usual topics, work, relationships, etc. If she wants to tell you about IVF she can, and if she doesn't, she does not have to.

No. 283679

I told my mom as soon as I tested positive cause we are very close and if I had a miscarriage I would want her to be there for me. The rest of the family we waited until we got the results from the NIPT about down syndrome etc. I think it was around 13-14 weeks.

No. 283839

If it makes you feel any better, I gave birth without an epidural and came out the other end just fine. Epidurals are uncommon where I live, and I don’t know anyone who’s actually forked out the money to have one. The only time I felt like, “shit, I really should have tried it” was when my contractions were at their peak shortly before active labor. I feel like the adrenaline rush made active labor more tolerable than the contractions.

No. 283847

Do I really need prenatal vitamins? I'm taking 500mcg folic acid already, and when I look at the vitamin list in a regular prenatal the folic acid content is really low (50mcg or lower) and the rest of the vitamins seem to be the same a regular multivitamin. What else is essential? I know iron, vitamin D and calcium are pretty important but I get a lot of sunshine here in the southern hemisphere because I'm an outdoorsy person. As far as I understand the iron and calcium are more important during pregnancy?

No. 283848

Pregnant women need higher dosages of vitamins and minerals than are in a common multivitamin. Just take it, what's the issue? If you can't afford prenatal vitamins you can't afford a baby. Also all prenatal vitamins are not the same, especially in the US most of them are quite shit so try to find a good one with high dosages from good sources or just ask your doctor what they recommend.

No. 283851

kek, nice projection. anon was asking due to her lifestyle not due to finances. also, no, you don't really need prenatal vitamins, they're kind of a meme.

No. 283859

"You don't need to take prenatal vitamins, just go outside". Ok crunchy hippie, enjoy your complications.

No. 283874

>not wanting unsolicited advice and judgement
Well you can get a couple more months of quiet if you keep mum about it but you're absolutely going to get those for the at least next 15 years of your life lol

No. 283876

I would get a blood test each trimester and adjust. If your morning sickness gets bad go B6 and allergy meds. It’s the combo they give you in the anti nausea meds. You need a much higher nutrient combo when pregnant so use the blood tests to tell, don’t guess. Messing up your calcium for example will have your body pulling it from your teeth which A hurts and B fucks up your teeth.

No. 283885

it's a myth that you don't regain calcium, anon.

No. 284001

Funny that you assume I can't afford prenatals anon, if you work on your reading comprehension you'd understand I'm asking about whether a prenatal is really any better than a multi or taking a few separate specific vitamins, especially because I'm already on the recommended prenatal folic acid dose. Vitamin D you produce when exposed to sunlight, just to clarify.
I've read that too much vitamin A is bad for baby, while most prenatals I've looked at have an extremely high level of vitamin A. So I'm weary of taking them and am thinking of taking iron and calcium separately. I'll do reading on it but was curious on hearing everyone's opinions here.
Thanks for the suggestion, we have to do a shit ton of blood tests when pregnant to monitor these things in any case. Maybe doing general bloods before we start trying is a good idea, which will be in a few months.

No. 284024

I was trying to figure out a reason as to why you wouldn't just take prenatals since it is recommended by every single doctor, the only reason I could see someone not taking them is if they are too poor. It's just such a dumb thing to consider otherwise. If you need extra iron or anything else your doctor will tell you as they do regular blood tests.

No. 284028

Especially if your blood levels are fine, outside of folic acid I don't think you need to take anything. Calcium comes from milk and yoghurt and iron comes from beef and liver (of which you should eat more than usual anyways as they are densely packed with all sorts of nutrients). I hated the taste of liver, but it's okay if you buy it as fresh as possible and eat the same day you buy. Fried in pan with lots of onions or you can mix ground beef with a bit of liver that you grind/blend into something just short of a paste and if you make like bologna sauce or lasagna or anything like that out of it, you can't taste it at all.

>people didn't give birth before invention of vitamins

No. 284029

For example supplementary iron isn't even that good. Outside of the fact that many pills out there have a bunch of sus filler material, the reason it acts in your body is sort of like a stress hormone.

Autism incoming:

>"In the 1960s the World Health Organization found that when iron supplements were given to anemic people in Africa, there was a great increase in the death rate from infectious diseases, especially malaria. Around the same time, research began to show that the regulation of iron is a central function of the immune system, and that this seems to have evolved because iron is a basic requirement for the survival and growth of cells of all types, including bacteria, parasites, and cancer. The pioneer researcher in the role of iron in immunity believed that an excess of dietary iron contributed to the development of leukemia and lymphatic cancers. Just like lead, mercury, cadmium, nickel and other heavy metals, stored iron produces destructive free radicals. The harmful effects of iron-produced free radicals are practically indistinguishable from those caused by exposure to X-rays and gamma rays; both accelerate the accumulation of age-pigment and other signs of aging. Excess iron is a crucial element in the transformation of stress into tissue damage by free radicals.

>For about 50 years, it has been known that blood transfusions damage immunity, and excess iron has been suspected to be one of the causes for this. People who regularly donate blood, on the other hand, have often been found to be healthier than non-donors, and healthier than they were before they began donating.

>In one of Hans Selye's pioneering studies, he found that he could experimentally produce a form of scleroderma (hardening of the skin) in animals by administering large doses of iron, followed by a minor stress. He could prevent the development of the condition by giving the animals large doses of vitamin E, suggesting that the condition was produced by iron's oxidative actions.

>Excess iron's role in infectious diseases is now well established, and many recent studies show that it is involved in degenerative brain diseases, such as Parkinson's, ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), Huntington's chorea, and Alzheimer's disease. Iron is now believed to have a role in skin aging, atherosclerosis, and cataracts of the lenses of the eyes, largely through its formation of the "age pigment.""

>"Some researchers are concerned that the iron added to cereals is contributing to the incidence of leukemia and cancers of the lymphatic tissues in children. [Goodfield, 1984.] During the time of rapid growth, children are less likely than adults to store too much iron. At birth, they have a large amount of stored iron, and this decreases as they "grow into it." It is after puberty, when growth slows and the sex hormones are high, that the storage of iron increases. [Blood, Sept., 1976.] In a study of the "malnourished" children of migrant fruit pickers in California, these children who were "seriously anemic" were actually more resistant to infectious diseases than were the "well nourished" middle class children in the same region."

>"Q.: Don't women need extra iron?.

>Doctors generally don't realize that only a few milligrams of iron are lost each day in menstruation. The real issue is that you can hardly avoid getting iron, even when you try.

>Women absorb iron much more efficiently than men do. From a similar meal, women will normally absorb three times as much iron as men do. When pregnant, their higher estrogen levels cause them to absorb about nine times as much as men. Every time a woman menstruates, she loses a little iron, so that by the age of 50 she is likely to have less iron stored in her tissues than a man does at the same age, but by the age of 65 women generally have as much excess iron in their tissues as men do. (During those 15 years, women seem to store iron at a faster rate than men do, probably because they have more estrogen.) At this age their risk of dying from a heart attack is the same as that of men. Some women who menstruate can donate blood regularly without showing any tendency to become anemic.

>Since the custom of giving large iron supplements to pregnant women has been established, there has been an increase in jaundice of the newborn. It has been observed that women who didn't take iron supplements during pregnancy have healthy babies that don't develop jaundice. I have suggested that this could be because they haven't been poisoned by iron. Those supplements could also be a factor in the increased incidence of childhood cancer."

Not to scare you sorry

No. 284030

>people didn't give birth before invention of vitamins
NTA but that's during the same time period when deaths and other problems during birth were much more higher compared to now.

No. 284034

Nta but I've always had very low iron levels. I had pica as a kid (the urge to eat things like paper/sponge/chalk and other things that aren't food) and when it persisted even as I got older I ended up getting tested for deficiencies as that can cause it. Iron was the culprit but I've never been able to take any form of iron supplement without it messing up my stomach in a major way. I've tried it all and it's harsh on your system. Ironic given my stomach could manage years of eating weird crap.

Much as I still struggle with fatigue, I feel like just getting it through diet changes is better than any massive amount they give you in pill or liquid form.

No. 284181

I’m 33 weeks today and I’ve been getting HUGE new stretch marks every day for about a week now around my belly button… it doesn’t make sense because my weight has actually been really stable. I guess it’s because my belly is growing? I do feel lower belly growing pains a lot but these stretch marks are really distressing. They burn and sting in the middle of the night when they’re forming and no amount of oils or creams has helped. I’ve taken collagen supplements throughout my pregnancy and I just don’t know what else I can do. I have had 2 major crying attacks lately over looking at myself in the mirror and I’m getting really depressed… not to mention anxious about actually giving birth!! What’s next, prolapse??? I guess I didn’t think I would get stretch marks like this.. they’re really bad. Will I have to have surgery to look normal ish again when I’m done having kids?? I just don’t see how I’ll ever bounce back even if they fade in color.

No. 284201

Newly formed stretch marks look scary, but they will end up fading into white lines eventually, don't worry. They all start being this deep purple. I have gotten some heavy ones on my breasts, too despite using Bio-Oil a lot. It just be like that. Also maybe think of it that way: When a flower creates a fruit, its petals also dry and fall off, in order to give all to the sweet fruit. It's beautiful, it's nature - and your change is as well.

No. 284247

Don’t have tea two hours within eating iron heavy food. The tannins block iron absorption. No calcium heavy foods like dairy at the same time the calcium block iron. Magnesium at the same time as iron if you end up needing them. Magnesium helps your intestines hold on to water. Iron pulls it away. Vitamin C boosts iron absorption. I drink yellowdock tea. A Chinese herb that helps boost my absorption. Iron is broken into two categories plant based and animal based you need 80% animal and 20% plant ideally.

No. 284249

>people didn't give birth before invention of vitamins
There are still a lot of countries on earth where prenatal vitamins are unavailable due to poverty. Infant death, labor complications, deformities and birth defects are also a lot more common in those countries. There is literally no reason to not take prenatal vitamins if they are available to you.

No. 284259

Hello baby! Hewwo baby! Hey-wwo baybeeeeeey! Who’s my widdle pumpkin? Who’s my widdle pumpkinny-wumpkinny? Who’s my widdle pumpkinny-wumpkinny baby? Is it you? Is it you? Awwww it’s you!! It’s you!!! You’re my baby! Yes you are. Yes you are.(shitpost)

No. 284268

I gave birth in a hospital-adjacent ‘birth house’ with my first, because I was nervous and wanted doctors nearby without immediately going full medicalisation. The obstetricians were pushing for a home birth (pun not intended) but I didn’t feel comfortable with that. One benefit of the birth house was that there would be access to other types of pain relief like nitrous oxide, and that if I did decide I wanted an epidural I could be moved to the hospital side pretty easily. The second time I had to give birth in the hospital due to minor complications. Both times I gave birth without an epidural and was totally fine. However both times when I did ask for pain relief, during the last few cm of dilation, it was apparently too late to get everything set up so I had to power through. Does the place you’re going offer nitrous? If so, and if you’d like to give it a try, it would probably be a good idea to notify them early on.

Same here. I actually don’t think I know anyone who had an epidural. Active labour also felt almost like a relief because finally I could DO something and it would soon be over. I’m sure the adrenaline helped, too.
The second time the obstetrician wasn’t paying attention and told me to “hold it in” because I “wasn’t ready” even though the nurse had twice confirmed I was fully dilated and I felt a very strong urge to push. That was by far the most painful point of the entire labour and I still kind of want to kick that doctor.

No. 284440

Does anyone have any advice for managing food aversions in the first trimester? The thought of almost everything makes me want to throw up (even though I’m not actually feeling super nauseous) and I’m finding it hard to find foods that I can at least snack on. If I could sustain myself on apples for the entirety of this pregnancy, I’d be thrilled.