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File: 1636127066379.jpg (5.22 MB, 4391x2732, mother with baby.jpg)

No. 212315

Discuss family planning, birth, pregnancy, conception, fertility, and any other baby-related topic in this thread. Old thread >>49996 hit bump limit.

No. 212320

>>212315
Ah fuck. I have baby fever so bad right now curse this cute ass photo.
I’m not ready to be a mom, but I want to one day.

No. 212336

>>212320
If being a mom is important to you, talk to any potential partners about if they want kids, as well as when. I wish I'd talked to my husband about how long to wait before trying, because we didn't quite see eye to eye.

No. 212347

I'm fascinated by babies and children. My SO wants kids and so do I but we're both still trying to get our lives together so everything is stable. I wouldn't mind adopting either but I'm always worried about how the kid will turn out. Sometimes you can do everything right and something can still go wrong.

No. 212348

Not ready for a baby yet but still love browsing 'mummy blogs' even though most are annoying as hell kek.

No. 212375

>>212336
When did you talk about it and how did you differ?

No. 212376

I don’t want a kid but my fiancé does. I told him I love him too much and we agreed on only one kid. I just don’t see myself being happy and glad when they will be 18 but at least I will be a SAHM. I know I’ll love my kid but not be obsessed

No. 212384

File: 1636171864463.jpg (132.97 KB, 465x640, George_Clausen,_1887_-_The_Sto…)

Sorry in advance if venting isn't allowed, I just don't want to get made fun of so I figured I could post here.

I am having the worst baby fever of my life right now. I'm still young and there's no fertility issues in my family so I'm probably fine, but I have been having dreams every other night that I have a sweet new born baby girl. At work, I heard a baby laugh and I wanted to cry. For most of my child hood, I didn't want kids, and I understand and have witnessed the difficulties that mothers face in child rearing, but I genuinely enjoy babies and children so much and would love the opportunity to raise one now.

It's just all I can think about these days, nonnas.

No. 212465

File: 1636250652108.jpg (25.93 KB, 640x640, 1632780254960.jpg)

How do you guys feel about fetal microchimerism?

No. 212468

>>212384
how old are you? or when did you stop NOT wanting a baby?

No. 212480

>>212468
mid twenties, stopped around 20, just chilled out a little with my rebellious "I'll never have kids ever!!!1" phase. Would love to have two or three someday

No. 212492

>>212465
can you explain what this is? I looked it up but I don't quite understand

No. 212495

>>212492
when you get pregnant with a boy you get male cells in your brain

No. 212596

I'm turning 28 and me and my husband only just decided that we'd like to have a baby together. I never really thought I was mom material until the last year or so. I think having such a great relationship really showed me that it would be possible to have a happy family instead of the dumpster fire that was my childhood. I'm panicking though, because I never thought I would have kids and I am 0% prepared. I don't know anything about childcare etc and I feel like my biological clock is imploding. Anyone else in a similar position?

No. 212618

>>212596
I’m 27, in the best relationship of my life, and worrying I’m running out of time. My bf and I are both poor so idk when we’re gonna be established enough to start a family. I worry constantly about fertility issues down the road and sometimes wish I could just get accidentally knocked up now and hope we’d figure it out. I know that’s irresponsible so I don’t really wish it, but my baby fever brain does lol

If you guys are in a good place to start trying, I wish you the best of luck. I think one of the most important things is that kids have parents who have a healthy relationship and love each other. So by the sounds of it, I think you’ll do fine.

No. 212624

File: 1636343922538.jpg (66.22 KB, 707x547, oil-painting-baby-mother.jpg)

>>212375
How soon is "soon" and how young is "young." I would have liked to have our first child two years ago, we are trying in four months. He knew I wanted kids (he wants them too), and we talked openly and frequently about that, but thought my impatience was a bit different. He did not realize until very recently I thought I would have had a child by now. I know his concerns are largely about providing, and that things will not be as easy and selfish once we have a kid. I wish I had better communicated that I didn't want to be waiting so long, instead of just that it was hard. For his part he's worked very hard to achieve certain financial goals so I can be a SAHM and did make sure we moved into a place where we could have a whole separate room for a nursery. It's been so hard watching people accidentally get pregnant and have beautiful babies, and here I am just waiting.
>>212596
>>212618
I worry about fertility. I'll be 27 when we try and my husband thinks it'll happen right away. It happened on the first month for our friends, and then a lot of people we know had accidental pregnancies and just went with it, so he really doesn't realize it takes plenty of couples a whole year.

No. 212635

i want to have kids one day but im scared to give birth. i feel like it will hurt too much

No. 212862

I (26) gave birth to my first child (daughter) 4 months ago. I never really thought I wanted kids until something hit me in my early 20s and all I could think about was babies.

I had an exhausting labor. Contractions are such an intense, unique pain. Your mind really does go blank and all you can focus on is PAIN. I ended up getting epidural because I couldn’t handle it lmao. I was in labor for 26 fucking hours and 6 of those were spent actively pushing. Apparently that’s not normal? All the nurses said it was the longest delivery they participated in and every mom I’ve talked to is like “wow haha I pushed 3 times and my baby popped out!!” ..cool.

I was honestly terrified of becoming a mother and was worried I wasn’t mature enough or ready to handle it but I feel like my brain has autopiloted a lot of it. Instinctual.
The first month is absolutely brutal though and you need a good support system and some serious perseverance to survive it.

No. 213017

I'm in the process of a miscarriage with my first pregnancy at 9 weeks and nobody tells you how long and brutal the process is if you don't get the surgery. I've been bleeding, cramping, passing things, and going through contractions for weeks. This was a wanted baby but I got pregnant on our first try. I just turned 29, I think I need some time to let my body heal before we try again. I had no clue how common blighted ovum miscarriages were in the first trimester. Ladies, don't start this journey without knowing about these first. I wish I knew.

No. 213039

>>213017
Anon I'm so sorry, that's rough. I hope you heal and have a good support network, that sucks.

No. 213064

>>213017
I was in the exact same boat with my first pregnancy. It was wanted and on my second check up (around the same time as you) it was clear that the fetus had stopped growing. Abortion is a huge process and the pill is illegal where I live, so when the cramping started I just waited it out over the course of a couple days. Looking into the toilet and being able to see the eye spot was a really bizarre, crushing feeling that I don’t know if I could properly explain to anyone who hasn’t gone through it.

I’m wishing you well on your recovery and hope that your next try goes as you hope. I waited about half a year before trying again and luckily it was as easy as the first time. Everything went well, and my baby arrived on time and healthy. Good luck, nonnie!

No. 213098

>>213039
>>213064
Thank you so much, girls. I really needed this going into today.

No. 213218

>>213017
Nothingto say, just sending you love and support, nonnie.

No. 213235

To any women in this thread in stable relationships who are afraid that they're "not ready" to have children. I just want you to know that there are people right now on their 3rd kid who are way less mature and thoughtful than you are. Your female ancestors had kids and they didn't fret about their "maturity" or if they would "do everything right" they had their babies and they did their best.

I hope I'm not sounding like a tradwaifu but the most important thing to remember that one of the biggest qualities that makes a good mother is the desire to be a mother and a unconditional love for their child. having children when you're "poor" the first world sense may not be easy, and it wont always be fun or idyllic but you absolutely CAN do it.

money and materialism is less important for babies development than you think. you and your partner being loving and stable parents and basic needs are really what matters the most.

If you and your partner both want kids and are stable enough. consider taking the plunge. women before us were great mothers than less. your emotional stability is more important than if you can afford $300 strollers

No. 213236

>>213235
women before us were great mothers WITH less

No. 213258

Are there any women in here in same-sex relationships who had a baby with a sperm donor/from a sperm bank? My fiancée who will be having the baby wants to find a donor who's an ethnic match to me, but as I'm a mixed Arab I don't think we'll find one. I don't mind though, honestly. My main thing with a donor is that he doesn't smoke and is healthy. I'm not worried about the baby being a perfect mix of our races but my fiancée is quite adamant about it. She feels like she's disrespecting me if she picks a donor who isn't like me and I feel like I'm disrespecting her wishes if I push too hard on this. I just don't know what to say to her anymore, I feel like we're wasting precious time waiting for Mr. Right to jack off in a cup at the sperm bank. I'd rather find a healthy donor and move forward with our lives.

No. 213275

>>213235
Yeah it's gotten to the point where I realize that there's never going to be a "right" moment to start trying. By the time we'll be fully stable and have a lot of money, we'll have passed the ideal child-bearing age. Like one anon said, I honestly sometimes just want to have an oops baby to get the planning over with, haha.

No. 213280

>>213235
The main issue that I've seen friends go through wasn't even money (they usually expect that to be their biggest shortcoming) but no matter how stable they thought their relationship was, it's surprisingly hard to know which men will walk out when the baby is like 10 months old even when you've dated for the 10 years previous and walked down the aisle. I've just seen that on repeat. All my friends with kids have slowly had their bubble burst in that way.

Money wise I'm in a country where nobody, especially those with kids will ever starve or go without essentials. It's funny how much money rarely is the biggest cause of tears or stress lines or sleepless nights in the end.. it's dad. But no amount of time spent waiting before conceiving ever seems to give you a clue that he'll walk within a year of dad life.

No. 213320

>>213280
This. My husbands side kept shaming us for having kids in our early 20s because we were "supposed" to get our careers together THEN have kids in our early to mid 30s. These same people spent thousands on IVF because they waited too long to have kids, and are trying to adopt a young child well into their 40s as well as other members in his family raising teenagers in their 60s and probably will die before meeting their grandkids or see other life milestones if the whole "wait forever to get married and have kids" cycle continues

emotion stability is more important and having your kids at the right age. I'd rather budget than to die before ever meeting my grandchildren and have to raise deal with raising high schoolers in my 50s

No. 213323

File: 1636958926992.jpg (87.07 KB, 500x498, 397.JPG)

>>213320
>These same people spent thousands on IVF because they waited too long to have kids, and are trying to adopt a young child well into their 40s as well as other members in his family raising teenagers in their 60s and probably will die before meeting their grandkids or see other life milestones
God I'm so terrified that this will be my future. I'm turning 26 tomorrow and I just want kids already. I wanted them yesterday.

No. 213339

>>213323
You can be young and still have shit fertility. Happened to me, after all the testing and everything my doc told me it would've been a miracle if I had gotten pregnant naturally with my husband.
What's keeping you from having kids now?

No. 213342

>>213320
Early to late 30's isn't nowhere near "too late" to have kids though. Shaming you for your choices isn't right but the advice of working on your carreer before having kids isn't a bad one at all. Especially as a woman.

No. 213353

>>213320
Financial stability is one of the biggest indicators for how well a childs life will turn out, lol.

No. 213354

>>213353
Nta but they have a point too, being born to older parents has its issues. I had one dead parent and one aging parent before I could start my own adult years. I don't see myself ever having kids as a result of the knock on effect of having one dead parent and one grieving/aging and lacking parent. Same goes for my brother. The genes end here because there was never a sense of family to start with. I kinda do resent my family circumstances and.. daily. I see other families.. alive and intact and able to do things together and it's a stab in the gut sometimes. I've never vocalised that to anyone but it sucks and affects you for life.

A combination of things matter, money is definitely one, age and health matter too. Of course anyone can get sick without notice but it helps not to wait til you're in your 40s. I've also seen people in their 40s have one autistic kid after another aswell.. that's a risk factor that increases with age and the combo of being old and your child having extra demands is a shitshow of a situation. All those things matter. It's not one or the other.. everything has it's importance. I feel for people who are just trying to decide the best time to start, and trying to weigh up age versus income. It's a blaance.

No. 213362

>>213354
My mom was in her early 40s when she had me and she's doing fine. My dad was younger (late 30s) and he's also doing fine. No issues conceiving for my mother and she never had issues "keeping up" with me.

People love to put pressure on the woman when it's the man's dusty old sperm that's mostly to blame for genetic defects and trouble conceiving, and if your parents eat like shit and don't exercise it doesn't matter if they're early 30s or early 40s, they won't be able to "keep up with teenagers" either way. If you're going to go off anecdotal evidence, it's worth not basing your decisions around Midwest Americans who age faster and hit puberty earlier.

No. 213365

>>213362
>If you're going to go off anecdotal evidence, it's worth not basing your decisions around Midwest Americans who age faster and hit puberty earlier
Who was talking about midwest americans?

No. 213377

>>213339
I'm sorry to hear you had to go through that nonnie. But it sounds like you were able to successfully have kids? For me, I'm still living at home and am just now finishing school, and my boyfriend is not really anywhere further along than I am.

No. 213381

>>213365
Nobody from a normal country would worry about late 30s being too old to have kids because the majority of people in most places I've lived have theirs around then.

No. 213382

>>213381
I'm >>213354 and I wasn't saying anything about people in their late 30s. My parents started having kids in their 40s and I was born last when they were 50. That's the age range I was speaking of. I'm not from anywhere near the US either.

No. 213408

>>213342
Maybe from the adults perspective definitely not from the kids perspective. I know this idea is often associated with incels and tradthots who hate women but 35+ is considered a geriatric pregnancy and being old increases risks of a lot of things. No one should have to be 18 and worried about their parents aging

No. 213409

>>213353
Not one bit. I worked with kids most of my life and some of the most spoilt, aggressive, asshole little kids were from rich parents or upper middle class who never had time to raise them because they both had to hold a job and throw their kids to childcare workers (which has been proven to be shitty for children's development…daycare kids are often awful and suspectable to abuse). Meanwhile poor kids were often hardworking and well mannered if the family was stable. Stability will always trump how rich someone is especially with a million programs in most areas that assure every child gets childcare, food, clothes, toys, etc

No. 213410

>>213362
No one is saying men aren't causing problems and that it's all womens fault, we're saying just to be smart about what age you have kids and not to put too much emphasizes on money more than you do emotional and relationship stability

Here's some physical risks
https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/having-a-baby-at-40

and no, just because your mom supposedly had no complications doesn't mean all women should just wait until they're 40 to have kids, it's just statistically more likely to cause a bunch of issues to development. 35 and older pregnancies are considered geriatric and 40 and over are considered high-risk. 55 is the minimum age to get admitted to most nursing homes, your bones start deteriorating in their 40s. In fact it's considered irresponsible to let senior dogs (6 yrs old>) get pregnant due to the risks, why does this suddenly not apply to humans? I'm sure plenty of dogs have had successful litters past 6

>inb4 muh americans only do this!!

only a handful of countries have life expectancies past 80. the world average is 73 years old meaning you'll most likely die before meeting your grandkids and grandparents can benefits children a lot including helping the children become more empathetic and intelligent

anyway - saying "well I know people who didn't!" doesn't change the risks with older pregnancy, the risks with not having grandparents in a kids life, and the aging that will inevitably happen and the risks that come with it and what you will be possibly imposing on your children. Don't be upset at the natural lifecycles of humans and certainly don't bring life into the world who are going to be forced to be your personal caregiver in their 30s-40s when they are supposedly supposed to be the ones having kids and getting their own family together. This system just does not work

No. 213413

>>213410
You really posted all this like it's brand new information and society hasn't been drilling it into our heads our entire lives, telling us we better hurry up and settle asap or end up old and alone because 30+ women are worthless and have no eggs blah blah. Anons are balancing the conversation by suggesting that maybe the risks of ~geriatric pregnancies~ are overstated and issues with male fertility are understated. Most sensible people aim to have kids in their 30s if circumstance allows, but they can also acknowledge that we don't fall off a fertility cliff at any specific age and, despite the risks of being older, it's not a death sentence you should let dictate your life path.

No. 213417

>>213413
If they knew this they wouldn't try to encourage women to have kids older and older. It's obviously not drilled into peoples heads enough if everyone is having kids in their 40s and wondering why they're miserable. Mens declining fertility needs to be acknowledged more but this doesn't make women have magic fertility powers past their 40s. I feel like gen x and y often have an ongoing superhuman complex that makes them immune to normal human aging

No. 213423

>>213417
>everyone is having kids in their 40s and wondering why they're miserable
Except they're not?? Average age for first time mothers in the US is 30 (educated/married) or early 20s (no degree/unmarried). Your fear mongering is unwarranted and condescending. I promise you literally every woman knows 40 is not ideal for having kids, but for some it may be slightly more ideal than having kids while poor and unstable.

No. 213446

>>213413
>we better hurry up and settle asap or end up old and alone because 30+ women are worthless and have no eggs blah blah
Nta but I really think you're taking the shitty words of scrotes and imagining that anons on here must be coming from the same place as them when they're just not. If anons on here have parents who are dead or who were aging from the time they were born and they think it's valid to question whether that's right or ideal or fair then that has nothing to do with scrotes and their weird cope that women lose value at 30. Nobody here is saying any of that.

No. 213451

File: 1637075880941.jpg (96.02 KB, 1024x703, fuzzy jacket baby.jpg)

>>212862
Congratulations! Thank you for sharing your experience. It's helpful to hear from people who didn't sneeze the baby out or need an emergency c-section. So often you only hear about extremes.
How much help would you say you need in the beginning? My husband works for a small company with 2 weeks PTO/year (no saving it up) but he works from home. Do you need round the clock help at first?
>>213235
>$300 strollers
You sound young. Love is important, but it does not pay for braces. Yeah, there will be no perfect time, but if a $300 stroller is out of range, you are going to be shocked when it comes to diapers. Stability is actually pretty hard to achieve these days. The time of any average guy working an average job and owning a house and having a stay at home wife and three kids is over.
>>213258
You should tell her what you wrote here. It sounds like you both hold one another in very high regard.
>>213362
>if your parents eat like shit and don't exercise it doesn't matter if they're early 30s or early 40s, they won't be able to "keep up with teenagers" either way.
This. My husband's mom is the same age as mine, but she's had to knee replacements, heart attacks, and takes a bunch of prescriptions. My mom still takes long hikes and has many years ahead of her.

No. 213488

>>213410
You sound like a scrote.

No. 213498

>>213451
>You sound young. Love is important, but it does not pay for braces.
Spotted the American. Braces doesn't benefit your health whatsoever other than cosmetically and braces in other countries are very cheap
>diapers
plenty of options, reusable diapers, diaper banks, on top of that diapers cost less than 20 a week on average. Very easy to budget out if you're legitimately broke but easy for someone up is middle or lower middle class to buy. Stability is hard because people are encouraged to overspend. You don't want that 18 yr old toyota your mom gave you with 50/month insurance you want a bmw with 5 times the insurance, you don't want that 4-bedroom house in countrycornfalls midwest for a 400 a month mortgage, no HOA and barely any property tax, you want to go move to some expensive suburb or urban area, you don't want to stay in and go camping every few months or so you want to go get a bougie hotel on the beach or in the mountains and go to expensive theme parks. It's extremely easy to budget and survive on an average wage it's just that's not what people want due to hype culture having everyone believe they "need" things that are completely unnecessary. The fact you mentioned braces as the first thing you think of as a priority proves that

No. 213499

>>213423
US women are often miserable though. Every mom I met who started having kids in her late 30s is often depressed, unhealthy, and is always being seen screaming at her kids. 30 is fine but when you're getting near your 40s it's not a good time to start having kids.
>>213488
thinking about how your aging will effect your child and family in the future=/= sounding like a scrote

No. 213520

>>213498
>Braces doesn't benefit your health whatsoever other than cosmetically
Are you retarded?? Fucking hell, please don't have kids if you're not going to get them the orthodontic treatment they might need thinking it's all ~cosmetic~. It's not, and it is extremely important to take care of your teeth including braces if necessary.

You sound insanely naive about money and healthcare and I'm not American so don't use that as a gotcha. Poor people are the ones having plenty of children at a young age, they're doing exactly what you want and guess what - their outcomes are shitty. That's how life works.

No. 213530

>>212862
>>213451
The first few weeks are so insanely brutal. You’re not only recovering from birthing a whole baby, but now your life exists in 2 hour chunks. Baby wakes up, needs changing, needs feeding, gets put to sleep (maybe) and then you get to decide how you want to spend the 30min-1hr left before it repeats. Do you sleep? Do you eat? Do you shower?
You become so sleep deprived so fast. Dangerously sleep deprived. Like blink your eyes and you accidentally fall asleep sleep deprived.
On top of that you might have a fussy baby that screams and cries a lot or one that doesn’t sleep well or doesn’t eat well and it’s just…so stressful lmao. Your hormones are crashing, you’re suddenly responsible for a human life, you aren’t sleeping, you barely have time to eat more than a protein bar, good luck finding enough time to shower or brush your teeth or have any sort of hygiene at all. It’s rough.
And if you decide to breastfeed, we’ll, that’s a whole other beast to conquer.

Imo it’s really important to have a SO or parent to help you during this time. I don’t know what I would have done without my husband and mother there to support me.
Single mothers/fathers that had to do this alone have my sincerest respect after learning myself what comes with having a baby.

No. 213542

>>213520
>>213520
If speaking, chewing and breathing is fine braces aren't needed, which most people do not have issues with. Don't pretend like most kids with braces absolutely needed them. Statistically speaking most people don't NEED them but it's normalized in america even over the slightest overbite. Do you think other countries where throwing your child into painful braces in their teens when they're having no issues is also child neglect?
> they're doing exactly what you want and guess what - their outcomes are shitty. That's how life works.
Can you provide examples?

No. 213561

>>213362
> and if your parents eat like shit and don't exercise it doesn't matter if they're early 30s or early 40s, they won't be able to "keep up with teenagers" either way.

Even then, it’s not a huge deal. Humans are surprisingly resilient even if they are overweight or have health problems. My parents aren’t the pinnacle of health or fitness but they kept up with me and my siblings fine, and teenagers are able to take care of themselves, they don’t need their parents to entertain them like a toddler would.

No. 213577

How long is average hospital stay after a normal, vaginal birth in your country?

Where I live, the average time is 5-7 days (double that for caesarian). I was incredibly grateful for the nurses checking up on me throughout the first few nights, checking the baby, helping me breastfeed, and then taking the baby to the nursery for a few hours to let me sleep if I looked tired. I feel like this level of care is extremely important to a woman's well being after something as serious as childbirth. But when I found out that American women get kicked out ASAP I was shocked (sort of, I guess you gals would pay a small fortune for more than the absolute minimum amount of time and care). It honestly seems cruel and unusual. If I had to do this, I think I'd have had some sort of stress breakdown from hyperfixating and worrying if everything was medically ok or not.

I was curious which type of care is closer to the norm in other places, since I don't know mothers around my age from anywhere else.

No. 213582

>>213577
Im a burger. A complicated c section can keep a woman in the hospital for 3-4 days, but natural births are usually discharged from the hospital in 48 hours or less

No. 213585

>>213577
I was discharged after 2 days. I got similar care as you, though. Lots of nurses to help, offered to take baby for a couple hours so I could sleep, 4 different lactation consultants came to help offer breastfeeding advice.
Afaik most other countries allow women to stay 4-7 days. America just seems to really disregard women.

No. 213588

>>213530
>Imo it’s really important to have a SO or parent to help you during this time. I don’t know what I would have done without my husband and mother there to support me.
Thanks. We'll be sure to budget PTO accordingly.
>>213498
>Spotted the American.
Yes. What about insurance? Maybe it's not necessary in your country, great for you. But in the US, you do need it, and it's expensive.
>plenty of options, reusable diapers,
If you have an in-unit washer and dryer
>diaper banks,
Planning to live on charity is a bad plan, and it's not stability
>on top of that diapers cost less than 20 a week on average.
Maybe where you live
>easy for someone up is middle or lower middle class to buy
How about childcare? Either someone is staying home and you lose their income, or you're paying someone else to watch your kid.
>You don't want that 18 yr old toyota your mom gave you with 50/month insurance
Who is paying $50 a month for insurance? Does your mom have a used car she can gift me?
>you don't want that 4-bedroom house in countrycornfalls midwest for a 400 a month mortgage
Show me this 4 bedroom house on zillow, because rural housing stock isn't as cheap as it used to be, and all the people I know who just bought houses had to offer way above asking price. Additionally, cheap places are cheap because the nearby jobs are low wage
>you want to go get a bougie hotel on the beach or in the mountains and go to expensive theme parks
You are now simply projecting.
Look, people do wait a long time for kids, but stability is much harder to provide than I think you realize. I'm rather certain your mom and dad still pay for at least some of your living expenses, or that you are using government assistance. Some people do manage to provide a stable life with very little money by homesteading or what have you, but most low-income families end up providing sub par childhoods for their children. I'm guessing you have no idea what it's like for a family to struggle to afford taking their kid to a doctor. I think you believe people are fretting about budgeting for a European vacation, new car, and designer clothes, but that's not the case. People worry about health insurance, childcare, stable housing, any transportation at all, a reasonable schooling situation, and an employment situation that gives them more than six unpaid weeks to recover from birth.

No. 213595

>>213588
>I think you believe people are fretting about budgeting for a European vacation, new car, and designer clothes, but that's not the case. People worry about health insurance, childcare, stable housing, any transportation at all, a reasonable schooling situation, and an employment situation that gives them more than six unpaid weeks to recover from birth.
I've just been watching the discussion about about how much it costs to raise a child, but you said it really well. The diaper banks part was…bizarre lol.

No. 213640

>>213588
I found all of this info with simple Google searched. The average reported price of diapers is 900/yrs, that's literally under 20 dollars a week. I searched houses on Zillow and priced them low to high and looked at them well to make sure they obviously weren't fucked up and found plenty that were under 600/month in mortgage, trailers are also a thing too. If you can't figure out how to raise a child on one average income you really need to think outside of the box. As for charities they're literally there to help you

The average American income is 30k, meaning about 2500 a month (and I'm rounding down on these statistics btw) which isn't hard at all to budget for rent, car insurance, tax, baby needs, groceries etc if you aren't a complete retard with your money

>>213595
I got this from following a fuck ton of Americans on Snapchat and Instagram. So many of them I know for fact work in fast food or retail yet are always going in expensive vacations, buying loads of new clothes and perfumes, going out to eat every night, go to the nail salon every week, etc. Don't pretend like there's an issue among American poor people spending a ton of money on things they absolutely do not need
>Inb4 "well it's just a few!". Sure, I'm not saying literally all poor people do this but seriously, I shouldn't be able to walk into Walmart and the cashier's have 300 dollar shoes, 5k worth of jewelry, a 200 dollar eyelash extension job, and nails that cost 40 dollars a week to maintain with a 1k cell phone bragging about how they're going to take an 1k dollar vacation to California and don't even try to lie and say that doesn't happen because I've lived in America for 3 years and it sure fucking does. Americans are notoriously horrible with money. I'm considered upper middle class and I wouldn't even think of blowing my money on the types of things I always see poor people get

No. 213658

>>213640
I'm the second anon and I'm not really sure why you quoted me, but the diaper banks thing is still dumb. If you can't afford children without banks then don't plan to have them.

No. 213666

>>213658
Diaper banks exist to help people. Obviously if you HAVE to make constant trips don't have them but some people often find themselves financially fucked regardless of how well off they are. That being said young doesn't always mean poor, and there's plenty of people who are poor well into their 30s and 40s and have to go to diaper banks. I'm just saying this as an example if for whatever reason one isn't able to afford diapers. After research however most young people can easily afford diapers if they aren't completely dumb with their finances. Being older doesn't magically get you money or give you magical powers, and on top of that if you're young and able to finance a kid then why not have them? Also who's the say that the main consumers of diaper banks are women in their late 30s? I don't see how you believe "don't have kids at ages that increase complications and that will leave you in geriatric care when your kids are supposed to be starting their own lives" translates to "just have kids as young as possible no matter how broke you are just because". All because I pointed out the fact diaper banks exist. Do you just want to shut them all down because you think they're stupid apparently?

No. 213668

>>213640
Instagram influencers aren't representative of average people at all.

No. 213671

>>213668
Yes… That's why I gave examples of average people I know

No. 213673

>>213671
Nta but most people aren’t dumb thots who work at walmart either lol. You sound seriously young, thinking that it’s a great idea to have a baby when you can barely pay for the basics (to say nothing of saving for college or extracurricular activities) is delusional.

No. 213674

>>213640
Yeah poor people like this generally don't worry about affording kids. It's people who are careful with their money who have these concerns.

No. 213676

>>213640
>The average American income is 30k, meaning about 2500 a month (and I'm rounding down on these statistics btw) which isn't hard at all to budget for rent, car insurance, tax, baby needs, groceries etc if you aren't a complete retard with your money


Yeah assuming the person has no credit card or school debt, or media debt, plus has a really good insurance plan through their job (assuming their job provides insurance), also factor in gas money, car payments and insurance, and all the little emergency costs that make up life. It is very difficult to raise a child on $30k a year (which depending on where you live, is $25k or less after tax, social security etc is taken out)

Just scraping by with barely enough isnt living, this gives no entertainment money (subscription services, toys, phone, internet), I think you still think life is like it was in the 1980s.

In most places, rent alone is $1000, leaving you with $1500 to survive on for 4 weeks.

No. 213677

>>213640
Also

> Don't pretend like there's an issue among American poor people spending a ton of money on things they absolutely do not need


Do you not see the difference in someone low income frivolously spending money on themselves and someone low income deciding to have an entire child that depends on them 100% for survival? This entire part of your post just sounds like

>dumb thots are spending money on nails and jewelry instead of making babies!

No. 213680

>>213666
>I don't see how you believe "don't have kids at ages that increase complications and that will leave you in geriatric care when your kids are supposed to be starting their own lives" translates to "just have kids as young as possible no matter how broke you are just because"
I never said any of this, I didn't even say anything about age.

No. 213681

>>213676
I easily found several apartments with rent under 800 in plenty of suburban areas in major cities. It's not that hard. There's a labor shortage now so I don't see why one would be using a ton of gas, and if you went to school you should be able to get a better paying job that didn't have you scraping by and if you chose a low paying major or dropped out that's on you.and if you can't figure out how to entertain yourself cheaply then that's your own fault
>>213677
Why do people here get so offended when you point out a lot of people have poor spending habits? What an insane conclusion especially considering I pointed out poor people who are too poor to afford diapers shouldn't have kids. I'm just saying if low income people can afford to spend their money on bullshit all the time then why would someone who earns slightly more than them be able to afford a family?
>>213680
The entire argument started about ages to have kids…

No. 213693

>>213681
Your argument changed from "poor people could afford children with frugality" to "just don't be poor." Please link a few of these apartments; maybe you will help a farmer who happens to be in that city out. You really seem like a student who is responsible only for a portion of her living expenses. Groceries and rent aren't the only things you need. How much is your health insurance premium?

No. 213701

File: 1637207231858.png (616.71 KB, 1080x1900, Screenshot_20211117-194332-583…)

>>213693
Seriously? How hard it is to put location and price range into apartment websites?
Jesus Christ you are really looking for a reason to be offended
I agreed with you when you said people who are too poor to afford diapers shouldn't have kids and somehow it means my argument changed and I'm telling people not to be poor??? WTF??
>I don't like what you say therefore you must be living like this
First I'm a scrote, than I'm some foreigner who doesn't know anything about America, and now I'm a student. Great. All because I said people need to be more responsible with their money and the age they have children. Only on lolcow will people get offended over that

No. 213703

Interesting discussion on how varied advice (especially baby) is cross-culturally and the funny experiences women had raising their children in a culture other than their own.
https://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/mumsnet_classics/2036163-I-would-be-a-bad-mum-if-I-still-lived-in-Germany-Or-differences-in-traditions-and-guidelines

No. 213714

>>213673
>Nta but most people aren’t dumb thots who work at walmart either lol.
then you're missing the point of my post, it's that regular americans always live above their means. It's not "impossible" for someone in their 20s to have a child and be financially stable if they aren't stupid
>You sound seriously young, thinking that it’s a great idea to have a baby when you can barely pay for the basics (to say nothing of saving for college or extracurricular activities) is delusional.
point to me where i said at all that I wanted people to have kids when they're unable to pay for basics. I'm just saying people overestimate the cost of children and don't factor in the importance of age and how aging will affect your kids while they are growing up. Having kids when you're dirt poor is careless, having kids that will have to spend their 30s-40s being their caregiver and raising their own children is also careless and the average person can easily care for a family if the budget correctly

No. 213724

Since you really don't seem to be getting it, I made a hypothetical budget for $30,000 a year, which after accounting for taxes (as well as the tax credit you get for having a dependent) gives you ~$2,200 a month to work with. The amounts are based on what I'm paying living in a relatively low cost of living city.

In terms of personal expenses (what you have to pay solely to support yourself), there's $800 for rent, $100 for electricity, $50 for heat, $0 for water (most apartments have free water), $100 for health insurance (assuming you have a good marketplace plan with generous state subsidies), $90 for internet, $100 for a phone plan, $200 for food, $140 for car insurance, and $100 for gas. That's already $1,680, leaving you $520 for baby expenses.

Diapers cost $75 per month, and medical care for babies averages out to $200 per month (even with health insurance, you have copays, deductibles, and tests that aren't covered by your plan to deal with). That leaves you with just $245 to pay for baby clothes ($60 a month on average), baby furniture, hygiene supplies, toys, childcare ($200 a month on average), infant formula ($150 a month on average), safety devices, extra health insurance premiums, and anything else that inevitably comes up. This is already assuming that you don't have college loans or other debts, and that you're not paying for renters insurance or any kind of leisure for yourself. Even without all of that, you'd be spending to the hilt if not actively in the red.

Having a medical emergency or car accident could put you in debt for years, which means that you'd have even less money to spend. You wouldn't be able to let your child take music lessons or play league sports, and you definitely wouldn't be able to save for their college expenses. None of this has anything to do with bad budgeting or being extravagant, and you have to be super uneducated to think otherwise.

No. 213798

>>213724
That's just bad budgeting, in most states in America you could get medicaid if you make 30k and under (I got approved for it making 37k, they also get you approved faster if you have a baby as well), and that's if your employee doesn't already provide you with insurance. And in America if you're under 26 you could get your parents insurance so I'm not sure why you even included health insurance premiums since that should be last case scenario

As for formula you can easily cut costs in half to entirely by breastfeeding (which Medicaid in most states offer free breast pumps), if for some reason your baby isn't consuming your milk then that would be applicable but that's really rare and there's many programs that can and will help. As for baby supplies in most families baby furniture, clothes, toys, is often passed down and there's a baby store here where you can easily walk in with 10 dollars and get a couple of outfits, toys, supplies, crafts, etc.

Your budget is referencing if someone who is making 30k a year gets absolutely no help from their family, government programs, and doesn't even try to help themselves

And before you say "don't use charity!!" It's literally there to help lower income people survive, also in my experience Medicaid is better than private insurances anyway, obviously don't rely on charity forever but use it as a stepping stone and always look for alternatives

No. 213824

>>213798
This has to be a larp lmao. How else would you not know that American employers almost never cover 100% of your premiums (and obviously none of your copays, deductibles, etc)? The average employer sponsored health plan cost $599 per month in 2020, and employers paid 83% of that on average, which means that the average employee pays $102 per month. That's almost exactly what I estimated.

If you're not making shit up, you're neglecting to mention some weird extenuating factors when it comes to Medicaid approval. Unless you live in Washington DC, there's no way you qualify for Medicaid as a family of 2 making $30,000 a year. The state with the highest cutoff after DC is Connecticut, and they only extend Medicaid to single parents making less than $27,872.

Also, being covered by your parents' health plan doesn't mean that you're getting free coverage, it just means that your parents are paying for you. If what you're saying is that having a baby at 23 is super easy so long as your parents are willing and capable of paying for everything… well yeah, that's obviously true lol.

It's ironic that you keep accusing others of budgeting badly when you think not having enough money to cover emergencies and accidents (not to mention everyday necessities like clothing and furniture) is totally fine. What the fuck are you supposed to do if you lose your job? What if your baby has a disability or chronic illness? Willingly putting your child into a situation where a random car accident could mean not having enough to eat is straight up negligent, and no amount of uwu mother's love is going to offset that.

No. 213853

>>213798
>As for formula you can easily cut costs in half to entirely by breastfeeding

many women cannot breastfeed, it's too painful, or they don't produce enough milk, or they have a fussy baby that needs milk alternatives for whatever reason, also if a woman is working most jobs are not providing paid time off to breastfeed

>but that's really rare and there's many programs that can and will help.


no, it's not really rare
>https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2013/09/23/225349120/to-succeed-at-breast-feeding-most-new-moms-could-use-help#:~:text=Three%20days%20after%20giving%20birth,said%20pain%20was%20a%20problem.
>Three days after giving birth, 92 percent of the new mothers said they were having problems breast-feeding. Half of the mothers reported problems with getting the baby to latch on to the breast, or other feeding issues like nipple confusion, when a baby may prefer a bottle. And 44 percent said pain was a problem. And 40 percent said they felt that they weren't producing enough milk.

also not every woman should breastfeed, it takes parenting responsibilities away from men, who are already getting off easy and light when it comes to fatherhood

>As for baby supplies in most families baby furniture, clothes, toys, is often passed down


what is safe and appropriate for a baby changes as the years go on. the swings that my mom used to put me in when i was baby in the 90s are not sold anymore because they are considered unsafe. this also requires constantly being able to drive out to multiple thrift and charity shops in order to hope they have what you need that day

No. 213854

>>213701

that $850 a month apartment on greene avenue is a farce. you're renting a ROOM. not the full apartment with amenities, read the actual listing, why don't you. you'd be sharing with roommates, strangers. do you want to raise a child while living with roommates?

from the listing
>Grab this opportunity, Looking to fill the rooms at a gorgeous 4 bedroom apartment!

>Rent for full apartment=$3400, Rent per room=$850


this is the same for the woodward ave unit as well. these are bedrooms. and when it comes to filling up rooms in apartments, most people don't want to live with families with children.

No. 213856

>>213853
>also not every woman should breastfeed, it takes parenting responsibilities away from men
Nta, but why do you think that? I get men won't feed the baby as often if the mother is breastfeeding, but I feel like he could just pull his weight in other areas. I don't know if it's fair to say women shouldn't breastfeed (if they can and want to) just because of that.

No. 213858

>>213824
>Thinking that being on your parents insurance = "them paying for everything"
Times changing, adjust to in. It's completely normal in most cultures to have your parents help you out financially here in there and obviously not being completely self-sufficient



>Bad situations could arise

Again, if you have good health coverage then it should cover that. There's a labor shortage right now so it isn't impossible to find a new job after you lose one. And there's so many programs for disability especially in younger children.

>>213853
Also why are you acting like thrift stores are a terrible and hard option? Obviously research the objects you're buying it, clean it good, etc. I even know people who shop at thrift stores regularly even though they can easily afford new things just because you can get great discounts on items that are barely used

You just sound prissy if you think that it's impossible to get good things from thrift shops regularly.
As for breastfeeding goes trouble with breast feeding doesn't mean you can't breast feed at all, I mentioned you can cut costs in half with breast feeding not completely remove the costs all together, and there's different ways to increase milk supply

>>213854
I lived in shared homes before that allowed children, sure it's not favorable but there's always the option of moving to a cheaper neighborhood and especially if you start a small farm or ranch you can even get a good grant and buy beautiful cheap properties in the Midwest and west. Of course that option is a bit out there but my point still stands that you can find great properties in cheaper areas for as low as 400$ a month

>>213856
Anon is weird and keeps trying to make everything sound sexist

No. 213862

>>213856
because breastfeeding is extra stress on the mother, and men even in ideal situations don't preform as many childcare duties as mothers do.

>I don't know if it's fair to say women shouldn't breastfeed (if they can and want to) just because of that.


i never said that anywhere

>>213858
>Again, if you have good health coverage then it should cover that. There's a labor shortage right now so it isn't impossible to find a new job after you lose one. And there's so many programs for disability especially in younger children.

the "labor shortage" is due to there being a ton of entry level, high stress shitty low paying jobs that offer terrible benefits. you can't have it both ways, you can't say "well just have good health insurance" and then push for people to take any old shitty job out there, and programs for children with disabilities are dependent on location and insurance, and they take a lot of time and paperwork to get into.

>sure it's not favorable but there's always the option of moving to a cheaper neighborhood and especially if you start a small farm or ranch you can even get a good grant and buy beautiful cheap properties in the Midwest and west.


you were the one posting those apartments like they were secret cheap hidden gems that no ones ever thought of before but you, and now when faced with a rebuttal, you're backtracking and admit it's not "favorable".

god forbid people want to bring children into the world under favorable circumstances. i don't want my children to survive, i want them to thrive.

No. 213867

>>213703
It’s funny to me that so many women are agreeing that they breastfeed their children until 2+ years and that it’s “strange” how other cultures stop at 6 months. Am I the only one who gets ill at the thought of a walking, talking, child (not baby) demanding breasts? I get that they’re your baby, but I just find it incredibly gross after a certain point.

No. 213876

>>213862
>the "labor shortage" is due to there being a ton of entry level, high stress shitty low paying jobs that offer terrible benefits.
For the first time in years places are constantly raising their wages, especially in fast food. In tip based jobs you can make a lot of money. I knew food delivery drivers who made 4k monthly. It's not that hard
>ou can't say "well just have good health insurance"
you can't just put words in my mouth, I gave several options on not paying insurance which you quickly claimed I said "make your parents pay for everything" simply because I mentioned people can be on their parents insurance until they are 26
>programs for children with disabilities are dependent on location and insurance, and they take a lot of time and paperwork to get into.
Yes but most locations have them, especially if you're near a big city. there are 10+ national organizations too that you don't need insurance for too. Sure they take paperwork but if you have a high risk of a child having a disability then don't have kids and please ffs do not take this out of context to argue more

>you were the one posting those apartments like they were secret cheap hidden gems that no ones ever thought of before but you

you asked me to post apartments and now you're complaining? I KNOW you aren't stupid enough to not know cheap apartments exist but you're the one who pretended like there was no possible way to find an apartment under 1000 around every major city
>now when faced with a rebuttal, you're backtracking and admit it's not "favorable".
How is that backtracking at all? I'm standing by what I said, do you think you deserve a luxury apartment in new york and anything less is me backtracking?

>god forbid people want to bring children into the world under favorable circumstances. i don't want my children to survive, i want them to thrive.

No one is saying that. No one. The only thing I'm saying is that people underestimate how financially stable a lot of people in their 20s could truly be if they acted responsible with their finances and that you have to consider how your age will affect your children. Forcing your child to deal with your aging in their 30s and all the possible complications of a geriatric pregnancy is just as bad popping out babies when you can't afford diapers (even though both opinions apparently offend you)

No. 213900

>>213867
there is a reason why they stop breastfeeding after 6 months because babies start getting their first teeth around 6 months. they will bite you and you will be in pain if you keep breastfeeding. breastfeeding children after max 1 year is completely retarded and gross only people with severe issues do that or they are into this whole essential oils thing. they will become those kind of parents whose kids will turn out to be brats that bully others because their angels can do nothing wrong since the parents fail to set boundaries and rules with them

No. 213902

>>213858
nta but your parents' insurance will cover prenatal care but not delivery, and it won't cover your baby at all.

No. 213908

File: 1637331726464.jpg (157.11 KB, 1500x1083, 81jvuPiKnHL._AC_SL1500_.jpg)

Has anyone used the Clearblue Fertility Monitor before? The interface looks clunky, but it would be nice to have four days to try, instead of two.

No. 213942

>>213902
Can you provide links for this? Some people even qualify for Medicaid while having private insurance as well. On top of that most places have sliding scale hospitals that help out a lot . And there's also the affordable healthcare act

No. 214008

I recently found out that I am pregnant. Currently 4 weeks, and I feel so happy and excited. I can't help but also feel terrified and anxious, because earlier this year I experienced a miscarriage. I hope this pregnancy will last. Every single time I feel any cramps or discomfort down there I am taken back to thoughts of loss. I'm sure plenty of women have gone through the same thing, as I've been reading forum posts about it, but it's so hard to not feel like you're going through these feelings alone. I know it's so early and anything is possible, but I just hope the universe will let me have a baby this time.

No. 214030

>>214008
That’s really exciting! I hope your baby is safe and that you enjoy motherhood, it seems like such a miracle that I hope to enjoy one day too. I’ll pray for your baby’s safety

No. 214035

>>214008
That's really wonderful! I hope all goes well for you, and I'm sending positive thoughts your way!

No. 214118

>>213908
> The interface looks clunky
its a pregnancy test how sophisticated does it need to be

No. 214898

File: 1637964393627.jpg (32.47 KB, 400x400, GUEST_579be336-6028-4603-a1de-…)

Has anybody used or considered cloth diapering? What kind of experience did you have? I'd have to get them washed since we don't have a washer-dryer, but we're thinking about it for earlier potty training.

No. 215041

>>214118
>its a pregnancy test
No it's not

No. 215291

>>214898
have you already had a kid before this anon? I was very interested in cloth diapers with my first, even though I knew it was challenging, and tbh with all the stress already of washing things like bottles, making sure everything is there and washing general baby clothes, I really couldn't have coped with constantly having to high power wash the cloth diapers on top of it all. I felt bad especially since you go through so many disposables but I just knew it wasn't worth risking the added stress- if you don't have a washer dryer I imagine it being 100x harder. I don't mean to quash your dreams or anything, it might still suit you

No. 215300

>>214898
I have to agree with >>215291
I’m lucky to have a lot of help from my husband (we both work from home), but even with this amount of freedom, I think adding diaper washing to the mix would be irritating as hell combined with everything else. You could still always pick up a few just to see if you can handle the maintenance (I’d definitely stick to disposable until the meconium poops are over at least). If you can’t handle it, at least you’ll have tried and only wasted money on a few pairs + the washing fee.

No. 215524

>>214008
I am this poster. I am now 5 weeks and 6 days. I am so fearful but also excited I have made it this far. I ended up talking to my boss about my pregnancy as a reason for resigning (I've been very sick lately). She ended up telling a whole bunch of my coworkers about it. I feel so stupid for mentioning it to her because I know the rule about only telling close family before 12 weeks. I have 2 more weeks left at my job. I'm even more scared I will miscarry and will have to face these people I barely know. I am trying not to stress about it all, but it's so hard because I so stupidly put myself in this difficult situation.

No. 215562

Not sure if this is the right thread to ask so ignore if it's not, but did any of the moms/expectant moms here ever not have a "baby fever" phase? I'm married in my late 20's and we've both always said we wanted kids, but I'm just not sure as of late. My SIL recently had a kid and while I dearly love my niece, I just didn't get any of those maternal feelings other women seem to get around babies when I'm around her, or any other babies for that matter. I love and want to protect her of course, but I feel no desire to have one of my own.

No. 215606

>>215562
If you don't want a child, don't have one. I had my son last year, and it's super stressful, no time for anything anymore, and sometimes I just want a week off of everything, which of course isn't going to happen. And I wanted this child so badly I did IVF. I love him dearly and my life is fuller with him in it, but if you don't want kids - don't have them. They're not going to improve your quality of life.

No. 215624

>>215562
I have a kid that wasn't planned and I never interacted with kids before or was into kids and I love it but yes, it is lots of responsibility and life changing, your priorities will change a bit and you have to streamline your goals/interests. The worst thing about being a mom is the loneliness honestly, it's not common for women my age where I live to have kids and even if they aren't negative about kids they simply don't understand shit schedule wise. I am able to pursue hobbies and interests and goals, my time management has gotten much better, of course I only have 1 child and a good amount of support from my family and my boyfriend's family.

No. 215671

>>215562
Reiterating this: If you don’t want kids, don’t have them. That being said, if you think you do want kids but don’t feel the baby fever around other people’s babies, I wouldn’t necessarily take that as a sign. One of my coworkers has a kid who’s in middle school now; she’s a super loving, involved parent and the two of them have a really good relationship. She’s told me on more than one occasion, “I don’t like kids, I don’t want to touch other peoples babies, but I love my kid.” I think some people are just like that.

Be realistic with yourself and be honest about how willing you really are to totally change your lifestyle and priorities for the foreseeable future. I love being a parent and all it entails, but I would never judge anyone for deciding that it’s not for them. It really is a ton of work, especially in the beginning.

No. 215699

File: 1638471872523.jpeg (61.24 KB, 640x626, 3221BEAD-B58C-4D3C-B6E0-873E27…)

>>215697
I’ve been torn by the same feelings nona. We’re both high functioning, high earning healthy people who eat well and try to avoid whatever’s bad for us, and I’m educated enough on biochem/nutritional health to do just about everything that would reduce the likelihood of our baby turning out retarded. Like, shit, I feel less retarded taking the health measures I have and I’ve been autistic forever obvs, they’re good protocols.
I love him, we’re stable, he’s the best. But I’m left so hesitant by the possibility that our genetics will fuck us over anyway. I know both his parents were autistic and he turned out wonderfully. But wouldn’t that make it all the worse, me throwing my own genes into the mix?
I’ve come around from being a fence sitter to wanting kids, but I really don’t know what to do in light of this. I wanted to adopt children with or without a biological child in the mix. The possibility that I just won’t be able to because the person I love is like me makes me sad, and I don’t know what will win out- personal selfish sadness or my morality.

No. 215734

>>215291
Oh there's a local service that washes your stash weekly or bi-weekly. We would use that.

No. 215740

>>215734
Nta, but this sounds like a horrible idea for diapers.

No. 215749

>>215699
>I wanted to adopt children with or without a biological child in the mix.
It's not like the children you adopt are all 100% A+ genetically. My boss adopted a child and the kid tested 60 on an IQ test and seems to have ADHD so severely he always needs an extra teacher by his side to keep him in check.

No. 215768

File: 1638505501117.jpeg (165.93 KB, 1125x936, CA62C845-FC66-4536-8FA4-BFA404…)

>>215749
Despite my kneejerk “but bringing them into this world damaged would be wrong “ logic kicking in, I think that simple anecdote has gotten me over my tard-child phobia. I’ve actually looked after a number of special needs children in the system and I did love them, too, and felt they were precious and deserving of life regardless of their setbacks. I think I could make a semi-disabled biological child’s life worth living as well.
I think I needed to hear that from a stranger. Thank you for the common sense!

No. 215810

File: 1638555468324.png (320.42 KB, 564x564, f3ac73d5807584779a3253daef2da3…)

is anyone else Rh+ and really scared of having miscarriages?

my mom is Rh+, dad Rh-, and she had 3 miscarriages in between me and my brother
I know some women who are Rh+ with a Rh- man and just have one child because of this
but I've already been pregnant before I was raped as a teenager and miscarried from stress, and I don't know what the blood type was
regardless I want a lot of kids. I know that there's more medical care for pregnant women who are Rh+ with a Rh- father, but miscarrying was so traumatizing I've considered "vetting" men before I date them to make sure they're Rh+

No. 215965

>>215810
Pregnant and A+ here anon, they said that no further testing was needed when I got Rh testing done, but I do know if you need it they'll give you medication and everything will be smooth

No. 216077

Nonnas, I don't know what to do.

Yesterday I found out I am pregnant. I told my fiancé and he wigged out and told me to get an abortion. He "wants to keep having fun and traveling with his friends". He told me nonchalantly to take care of it otherwise I'm "entrapping him" with responsibility. I was heartbroken.

I've bonded with this baby already even though I'm not even a month along. I'm so overwhelmed with guilt. I don't want to get rid of my baby but I don't want to lose my future husband.

Additionally, the idea of abortion incites a severe feeling of body horror for me.

Pls help, I'm mortified and feel all alone.

No. 216081

>>216077
Anon why the fuck do you want to marry this POS?

No. 216085

>>216081
He's genuinely the love of my life.

HOWEVER
He backtracked his rationale for wanting me to terminate my pregnancy and said he wants to get married before having kids, which is understandable enough.
So I go, "we have 9 months let's just do it soon and keep the pregnancy a secret"
Nope- that's not good enough for him because it's a "shotgun wedding" in his books.

I'm fucking shook, Western moids are allergic to accountability.
In the culture I am from, this shit does not fly.

No. 216086

>>216077
He does not love you. Sorry it took you getting pregnant for him to show his true colors. But look at his actions and ask yourself if that's the kind of man you want to spend your life with. I don't care how "good" he is otherwise, when push comes to shove he truly doesn't give a shit about you.

No. 216097

>>216085
He is truly a piece of shit, I’m sorry it’s such a shock that you think you still like him. He’s only changing his wording now because he’s trying to save face, which is why his actual opinion hasn’t changed. At least he was honest the first time so you don’t have to guess what he’s thinking.

Nonnie, please consider a future where you end up getting the abortion and marrying this waste of air. Imagine that you two have been together for years, and that money is just OK with the both of your working. Now consider his reaction when you suddenly come down with a debilitating illness that requires you to quit your job and rest. What do you think he’ll do when he’s required to give up his free time or put fun money aside and step up?

I’m sorry I don’t have any advice on keeping the pregnancy. Do you have any money saved? Family members willing to help? Can you afford to take time off of work or school for a few months (at least) after birth? Kids are a lot of work, even with a spouse and extra help. Consider the kind of life you’ll realistically be able to give your child.

No. 216147

>>216085
>In the culture I am from, this shit does not fly.
neither does women being allowed to leave the house, presumably

No. 216148

>>216085
This is not a matter of culture. This man is responsible for his own shitty and pushy reaction to this news and it is all on him that he's treating you the way that he is. You need to put that on him and not some general trend in a part of the world that he's just following. You're getting a good look at who he truly is right now. Chalking this up to culture is you putting the blame on anything but him.

You can have the child or not have it but if you're planning out your future and mapping out what both of those options look like.. for the love of god do not include this man in your future plans either way. Take this massive wake up call and end the engagement that sounds like it never meant shit to him anyway. He obviously made this gesture of commitment but it's a total facade.

No. 216150

>>216085
>shotgun wedding
>you're already engaged
what???
you're already planned on getting married, but won't speed up your wedding so you don't have to undergo the trauma of having an abortion?

how old are the both of you if you don't mind me asking? and how long have you been together/engaged?

No. 216161

>>216085
You should consider getting the abortion. Not because your bf is right and not because your bf deserves getting away without taking responsibility but because you'll essentially have to raise your child as a single mom. That's a living nightmare for the next 20+ years. Unless adopting out is an option for you.

No. 216162

>>216161
Also hope you break up with this piece of shit. Any man who accuses you of "entrapping" him when he has EQUAL responsibility in creating the child doesn't deserve to be "the love of your life"

No. 216166

>>216161
I agree with this anon, you're pregnant and going through an hard time emotionally right now, especially with how in love you seem with this guy, but having this child with a man who acts like that will mean you're a single mother, and your chances of finding a man who deserves your love and would love to raise a child with you will plummet drastically if you keep the child and raise it yourself. You seem like a romantic, it would be sad for you to miss out on the love you want because your man is shitty

No. 216172

>>216085
Abort ASAP, this is a nightmare situation

No. 216188

>>216077
Ask him if he plans to marry you at all, because it sounds like he's going to make you his forever fiancee if you let him. I'm so sorry you're going through this.

No. 216189

>>216077
If you don't want to have an abortion, that's enough reason for you to keep it. Don't make that decision for anyone else. You're the one who lives with the consequences, and if you feel pressured or coerced into one, it can really suck afterwards. I've been there.

If you do keep it though - unless he fully runs and dumps you with the kid, your dogshit fiancé will always be in your life. That's if your relationship is over or not - he's your kids father. Honestly I think your relationship is doomed, so you'll be stuck co-parenting with him forever. Dealing with his new girlfriends, if he potentially marries/has kids with someone else etc. Consider that before you make your decision, because maybe it would be best to make a clean break and move on.

Whatever you do, I wish you all the best. It's a really hard situation to be in and it's also really, really hard to make the decision that's right for you. Keep us updated anon

No. 216192

>>216077

Anon here, thank you all so much for your insight and empathy. I've been lurking lc for a while but this is the first time I've posted anything personal and I'm overwhelmed with appreciation for what a compassionate place this site can be.

Update on my situation - my mans has since apologized for his reaction. He told me that while he was scared of the idea of becoming a dad this early (he's in his late 20s, I'm mid 20s), he did not want to hurt me and regrets his behavior. He told me he'll support me and stay by my side no matter what decision I make.

We're communicating and planning our future like civil adults now, which has put me in a much better headspace.

Thank you again.
Much love.

No. 216234

>>216192
so he just backpedalled? yeah… this is going to turn out well

No. 216239

I found out an old high school friend is having a baby yesterday and for some reason it felt like a punch in the gut. We're all in our mid 20s now and I am happy for her and always hoped the best for her. It just reminds me of my own shitty situation. I've been wanting kids for so long but realize that I am not financially stable enough for it nor do I have a man in my life and am extremely inexperienced in dating. ugh. I don't want to spend my 30s being pregnant and wanted that more for raising kids. My parents had be older too and now they constantly talk about dying soon and it makes me sad I'll be all alone.

No. 216251

>>216192
This late twenties man told you to abort it so he can keep on having fun with his friends.. for him to change his mind again that quickly is highly concerning anon.

If you have any women you can confide in irl please do and tell them about his first reaction and this sudden 180 too.. he's not a supportive or stable partner and you have a life changing situation here that's way too time sensitive for this shit. He's being too flippant about whether he's in this or not. You don't want to ignore that.

No. 216260

>>216192
Believe in his first reaction, because that's how he really is and what he truly believes. You feel bad because deep down you know he and this situation is fucked up. Someone who loves you wouldn't put you through this, they would be extremely loving and supportive from the beginning. Don't have a child with this man.

No. 216262

>>216260
>Believe in his first reaction, because that's how he really is and what he truly believes
Agreeing withh this. He'll likely hit one small hurdle where his funtime is somehow affected by the pregnancy or baby and he'll return to his first reaction again. Too many fall for this and end up abandoned.

No. 216271

>>213017
Miscarriage anon from here. STILL bleeding and passing things. Had to get the pill prescribed to me and administer all four pills twice, had like 6 ultrasounds and 4 blood tests I couldn't afford and last Friday the doctor literally pulled the egg sac out of me with no anaesthetic because it was stuck in my cervix. I just keep bleeding and bleeding. I've been going through this shit since November 1st. I'm so miserable. This was literally our first try and I got pregnant immediately. Doctor says I should have no problem conceiving in the future, but holy shit. I've never heard of someone going through a miscarriage as slowly as I have. Over a fucking month of my miserable life like this. If miscarriage happens to me again I'm getting the D&C even though I don't think we could afford it. I wish I could wake up one of you Euro nonnies with free healthcare, I'm so upset at the toll this has taken on my life. I feel like I'm being punished.

No. 216277

>>216271
Can you go to a Planned Parenthood? They charge on a sliding scale and do so much more than abortions.

No. 216288

>>216277
Ayrt here. According to my doctor she physically cleared me of the obstruction and it disappeared from the u/s as soon as she pulled it out. I should technically be done, but if this bleeding lasts more than a week I'm for sure going to PP because I'm in hell and feel like I'm going insane. I wish there was any sort of place I could go to talk to other ladies who endured miscarriages this long, but even my doctor says my case is unusual..

No. 216325

>>216239
I can commiserate with you. I remember turning 24 and getting anxious and hoping I could find a man who I loved and start a family shortly and live happily ever after because I wanted to at least start a family before turning 30. Welp I’m 27 now, have found someone I love, however, we’re both poor and I have no idea how we will ever afford to have kids. We both have shit jobs and I don’t know how I’ll ever buy a house with the way the market is now.

I can relate to the parent situation too. My mom had me when she was 40 and I’ve had constant anxiety about my parents aging all my life. I’m so scared to possibly lose them in the next 1-2 decades. I don’t want to have kids old and have them experience that.

I hope you find someone nonna and get to start a family someday so you won’t ever have to be all alone like you fear.

No. 216338

>>216325
Solidarity anon, my parents also had me with 40 and them turning 70 recently was the beginning of my crippling anxiety about mortality, death, losing our strong bond and being alone. I love my parents and spend a lot of time with them, cherishing every moment we have, but I often think about their age and feel horrible. I am leaning childfree, but when I still was actively debating kids, I always wanted to have them as late in life as possible so that I can enjoy the time by myself longer. Now, I don’t want my child(ren) to experience the same thing. I shouldn’t complain because my parents are great and while we perhaps have less time together than others, the time we have is spent wonderfully. But I get so upset when I see my friends and their young parents.

No. 219489

File: 1640551405923.jpg (54.81 KB, 486x615, https___i.pinimg.com_originals…)

Finally ovulated yesterday and am really crossing my finger that it's going to happen this cycle. We have been trying since October and this is only my second cycle, first one after getting off the pill was 35 days, ovulated on cycle day 21 and this time I ovulated on cycle day 32. I have PCO (not PCOS) and always had very long and irregular cycles before I went on birth control. My gynecologist has told me it might take a really long time to get pregnant so I am very anxious. It's not even that I want to have a baby IMMEDIATELY, but I can not afford to wait and I would just like to know that my body works and I can have one. It really sucks when your own body is so unreliable and I just have this fear that I will be one of those women who try for years with no success.

Wish me luck Nonitas.

No. 219560

>>219489
Good luck anon!! ♥

No. 219697

>>216192

This is really late and I'm sure there may have been changes, but please be cautious about this. My best friend's fiancé immediately reacted the same exact way, wanting her to abort, as soon as she told him about her unexpected pregnancy she wanted to keep. she threatened to break things off and be a single mom if he wasn't willing or wanting a child now, and he backpedaled the same way your SO did. Said he would do anything he could to support her and their child.

Well the baby ate too much into his video game time and time with friends, so he just plain stopped coming home after work and would go directly to friends' homes without answering her phonecalls. His brothers had to force him to go home to see his own child. Because he wouldn't help set up initial childcare, she was financially dependent and taking care of the baby full time. Once he used all the money for formula to buy weed and I had to buy some. He began to treat the baby with contempt and one time screamed to the crying child, "You ruined my life".

She moved in with her sister and I helped chip in for childcare until she was back on her feet with a job. He has no interest in seeing his child but full interest in trying to have sex with her. She's had to NC him and use the court for child support as he refused to help if she wasn't going to be with him.

This could be your future. It probably won't be, but I've seen this exact same play before. Please be careful with what you do.

No. 219717

Not sure if this is the right thread to ask.. but have any of you ladies had an ovary removed and still had a healthy pregnancy? I had my left ovary removed however both my ovaries had a cyst problem. These cysts are removed now but I'm worried that all this crap is somehow going to lead to pregnancy complications one day?

No. 219729

>>219489
Spearmint capsules are fucking magical for getting pregnant with PCOS as long as if you take them consistently and correctly. I tried for 3+ years with metformin, insitol, myo-insitol, Spiro, etc. Nothing worked until I just started taking exclusively spearmint and a multivitamin. Hopefully this works for PCOS anons!

No. 221376

>>219717
my sister-in-law has had surgery to remove one of her ovaries and had quite severe cysts on the other, she had two very healthy girls but did have to go through a c-section for both due to complications

No. 221379

>>216325
I resonate with you anon, but you do not need a house nor a tonne of money. My whole family have had children before owning homes or sometimes without even having jobs. If you have the time and patience to raise children then that is the main thing that matters, if they're living with family or in a rental they will not care if they are loved.

No. 221381

>>221379
>sometimes without even having jobs
I can understand the home part, but please at least have a fucking job before having kids.

No. 222871

File: 1641913649033.jpg (92.52 KB, 700x208, pergnat.jpg)

>>219489
Update to my last post, I ended up conceiving on Christmas day and am now 4 weeks and 3 days prego! Thank you for wishing me luck, it worked! I am super excited, this is my first time ever being pregnant and I have my first ultrasound appointment in two weeks!

No. 222874

>>222871
Congratulations! I’m happy for you nonnie. My only advice is to get into a regular, light exercise routine if your aren’t already. Building some more muscle is easiest early on, and it will help your mobility immensely when you get bigger. Daily walking, stretching, and light arms weights are easy enough on the body until you reach the stable period. I’m wishing you an easy first trimester!

No. 222875

>>222871
Congratulations nonna!

No. 222884

File: 1641916343371.jpg (133.06 KB, 1884x2048, FIxkxnAVUAAaRrb.jpg)

>>222874
>>222875
Thank you nonnas! We usually take a long walk together every evening and I do some yoga exercises, I will keep it up!

No. 226671

>>214008
I have officially made it to the 2nd trimester. I feel such an intense amount of relief, but I also realize that my old fears for my baby are now just replaced with new ones. Motherhood is just a constant state of worry isn't it. I feel so happy that this little bean seems to be growing so well.

No. 226675

>>226671
Well done anon and good luck! Happy for you

No. 226684

>>216147
Kek, love ya. Nonnies from conservative cultures who are with Western men loooove to go on about the beneficial aspects of their traditional culture and customs; too bad nonny forgot that while it’s true that a man telling a woman to abort “doesn’t fly”, dating and having pre-martial sex “doesn’t fly” as well. Neither does abortion. Neither do a lot of things which I presume nonny does, but I assume that she does love to pick whatever suits her from either side and leave the rest.

No. 226726

I’m 25 and trying to apply to medical school and I don’t know when in my life I’ll ever be able to have a baby. I really want to have one, but being a student has made me completely financially broke and I can’t imagine I’ll be able to be fully present for a baby or toddler if I’m in med school. But I don’t want to wait until I’m in my 30s either…

No. 237198

>>226671
Congratulations, I hope someone is rubbing your feet and getting you all the foods you crave

No. 237330

>>226684
preserving the good parts of your culture and throwing out the bad is a good thing. keep politics-sperging and worship of white/western scrotes out of a thread about babies, please

No. 238148

i'm 16 weeks and finally feeling like this is a little more real now after two miscarriages (one super traumatic one) but i can't help but feel this underlying dread and anxiety that's taking away how happy I should be. i told my boss today and he was really supportive and even though i'm not entitled to leave he said my job will always be there for me which is appreciated. maybe after 20 weeks i'll finally relax and feel more secure because right now it's really hard

No. 238930

I'm mid twenties and was always really indifferent about having kids. I still feel neutral about babies but little kids are so cute and now I have this longing to have children. Is this what people mean when they say you'll change your mind about not wanting kids or is it just a phase lol? I feel nowhere near ready though so it's super inconvenient. I'm not even sure if I'll ever be ready or suitable to be a parent.

No. 239307

>>237330
>preserving the good parts of your culture and throwing out the bad is a good thing
No, unless you have don’t have any integrity. That’s called cherry picking. And having inconsistent beliefs. And implies a really bad case of cognitive dissonance. But you have to tell yourself something to sleep at night, so.
>worship of white/western scrotes
Don’t give a shit about them. Never even mentioned politics. Work on your reading comprehension.

No. 239659

>>239307
nta but what do you mean? you can either raise your child 100% traditionally or with no cultural identity at all, otherwise you have no integrity? "inconsistent beliefs" consistent with what? Since when is it expected of people to have their personal beliefs align 100% with tradition?

No. 243187

>>238930
Yeah, this happens for most people. Obviously as a teenager/early twenties you don't want kids, you're still preoccupied with trying to take care of yourself and forming as a human being. Which is why I just laugh when people that age tell me they will never want kids FOR SURE! 100% CERTAIN!!! Like, you have no idea lol. I am not at all the same person I was in my early 20s.

Your priorities in life change a lot as you grow older and it's also just a biological process, your brain is literally telling you it's time to reproduce and suddenly babies are super fucking cute and when you see a dad with his child being cute it makes you swoon. That's just biology and it happens to most people eventually. I think the only people who don't go through this change of perspective are people who are traumatized from abuse or autistic.

No. 243634

I want to have kids someday and I love my boyfriend of a year but I feel like he'd mess up my kids. Like his dark humor and not being big on cleaning and not caring about little things and raging at video games never rages at me but I still don't like the behaviour). I don't want those traits passed down. But he's also changed in our time dating, getting better, getting cleaner (still not to my standards but better), completely stopped drinking alcohol, getting better with saving money. So I wonder if I shouldn't be so quick to dismiss him as a dad as he is clearly capable of learning and changing. Maybe it'll get better with more time? It still stresses me out, though. And now I'm thinking I've yet to meet a man I'd 100% trust to raise my kids the way I want. All men just seem below my standards. I think I might just be a control freak due to the anxiety of everything that can go wrong with kids. I don't want little ungrateful, bullying, dumb gross assholes. I want them to be given everything I didn't have growing up with a druggie single mom. But sometimes I wonder if I'd prefer doing it all by myself, even if it'd be hard as a single mom. And would it be unfair to make my kids grow up with only one parent? The anxieties are endless in my head.

No. 245392

>>243634
I think you're just unnecessarily insulting yourself. You're not a control freak and the anxiety about kids is normal. Nothing you write seems crazy. You're just rightfully concerned because your boyfriend isn't exhibiting any traits that would make you feel safe. Things like raging at video games are annoying and childish. You probably know or seriously suspect that you will have little to no help cleaning and doing general housework. You've seen guys like this completely let the woman do everything once a kid arrives and you're worried. Of course you are! Women are under a constant threat of doing everything alone and it being tolerated by everyone and you don't want that. It's on you of course to figure out if your boyfriend is like this or not, but you're not unnecessarily paranoid.

No. 245415

>>243634
Your worries are all fair and worried about things means you will be a good mom. Honestly this is all really normal and the decision to have a child with someone is a really big one, that you SHOULD put a lot of thought into.

You might want to wait a little bit and see how he turns out. Don't you want to get married first? Although, if you're gonna wait for a man who cleans up after himself without you nagging him… well you might be waiting a long time. There are not many of them who do that willingly. They are pretty rare specimen.

No. 245437

File: 1645542336024.jpg (61.72 KB, 1026x555, 159450328_wide.jpg)

>>238930
It's in our DNA to procreate. Wanting to have offspring as an adult is entirely normal. Human brains aren't even fully developed until ~25, so no, I wouldn't expect an underdeveloped person to know what they want for the rest of their life. Imo, people who end up not having children in their lifetime solely because they don't want them (as opposed to never having a chance/being infertile or something) are a tiny minority.

No. 245442

>>243634
He's always going to not be big on cleaning and will miss the small things because most men are like that. Everything else you've mentioned my soon to be husband did too, but he's changed so much over the years we've been together and I can't imagine a better father for my future kids. You've been together only a year, if he treats you well and you love him give each other the space and time and environment to grow as people. You'll figure out eventually if he's dad material or not.

OT, I never wanted kids but my biological clock kicked about a year ago and I can't fucking wait to have kids. We're not trying yet because I'm doing a postgraduate and the timing isn't quite right but I always hope for a happy accident and genuinely get bummed when I get my period. My fiance never used to want kids either but his opinion has shifted too. He doesn't want them as soon as I do but I caught him watching a clip of a dad comforting his kid by climbing in their cot and he was smiling and it was the cutest thing ever. Jesus my baby fever is real I wish it would chill out a bit because I need to graduate lol.

No. 245451

>>243634
You are not crazy. Please trust your instincts, they're telling you something important. He may be capable of change, but it's still not worth taking a gamble especially when there's going to be another life involved.

No. 245466

I should've never married a younger guy. Initially, we agreed we didn't want any kids. I'll be 30 this year and now, I'm at the point in life where I do want a baby and we have the means to support one. Unfortunately, he's 24 and is still on the fence. I can tell his opinion on it is changing, but slowly. Too slowly for me. I don't want to be too old.

No. 245477

>>245466
I got married too young, we agreed that we didn't want kids and a couple years into the marriage (I was 24, he was 26) he blindsided me when he changed his mind and wasted no time leaving. In the long run I've no real hard feelings. I was turning 25 and able to start over so while it felt like time was wasted.. it wasn't so much time that I'd hold onto major resentment. We moved on and have very different lives.

No. 245517

>>245477
If I were a man, I’d probably leave him over it. But I’m almost 30, so I don’t feel like I even have the time to start over with a new relationship. Being a woman really is suffering. There’s no guarantee I’ll even ever find another man I can trust enough to have a child with.

No. 245557

>>245415
Yea I do want to be married first, I wrote this not as a statement of trying anytime soon lol but more of a question of anxiety because I'm not about to get married to anyone if I am unsure about kids with them. Getting married and having kids has always been my plan, I bring it up early in a relationship so the other person is very aware going forward. I don't want to sink in too much time with someone I won't be getting married to / having kids with. Maybe I'm just overly critical of it these days as I'm hitting 30 and I'm stressed about how fast time is moving. I don't want to wake up one day, many years from now when menopause hits, without children of my own, it would crush me. You factor in being in a relationship for several years, then getting married then several years later having kids, multiple. Time adds up. I don't want to be too picky but also don't want to settle. I feel like I was 20 just yesterday, it all comes so fast.

No. 245634

File: 1645586938326.png (554.03 KB, 742x745, dad and baby.PNG)

I'm so gutted. My husband and I were two months out from our planned date for trying for a baby and now it's pushed back due to a life changing event. We had six months of savings and I was at peak health and now we're below 10k in savings and I'm too sick for a healthy pregnancy. I had my midwifery team picked out and my husband started to have real opinions on things like baby gear and parenting styles. I feel like a fool, doing everything to prepare and getting so excited. I'm worried about not reaching my desired family size. Do any nonnas who have dealt with timeline disruptions have any tips?
>>238930
Through your early 20s you're basically a kids yourself, so it's normal to feel like you don't want kids.
>>243634
Pay careful attention to how he treats you when you get sick or injured enough that you need him to take care of things like making dinner and doing dishes. Men do mature a lot in their 20s, but how/if they rise to an occasion rarely/never does.

No. 245636

>>245634
It's alright to feel how you're feeling right now. But think about moving on from this current mood. Please realize that sooner, rather than much later, your pregnancy journey will happen. You've prepared for it and your boyfriend is also settling in "baby mode." This moment, may have not been the best time for whatever reason, that's all. ♥ I mean this. ♥

No. 245645

>>245634
Anon plenty of people get pregnant by accident and make it work, it's good to be prepared but you're also overestimating how much you truly need and not taking in account how long it might take you to get pregnant

No. 245664

>>245517
Nta but maybe you could bring it up gently? To see how he's feeling about the whole situation while not making it feel like you're forcing him to go through it? On the bright side it being "too late" also depends on the sperm quality so having a younger guy reduces the chance of infertility or issues and he'll be more energetic as a father than an older one will, speaking from experience as I've seen with old men.

No. 245679

>>245466
Have you considered adoption as an option in the future, if you say he is slowly changing his mind? You can’t be biologically “too old” for that.

No. 245681

File: 1645620576993.png (21.43 KB, 720x432, IconWeek-10.png)

I had my 10 week ultrasound yesterday and it was SO FREAKING COOL! It finally looks like a baby now (I had one at 5 weeks and 7 weeks and it just looked like a little nugget) but I saw the arms and legs waving around and it was soooo active and swimming around in there and hearing the heartbeat was so amazing. I am so sad that my fiancé has not been allowed to come with me so far due to Covid restrictions and I am not even allowed to film it, but next time (12 weeks) he is allowed to come!

It finally feels real to me now after seeing my baby look like a proper baby, I could even see the nose, eyes and ears. I can't wait to be 20 weeks and feel it move! I am so happy!

No. 245684

>>245681
Why aren't you allowed to film? Congratulations though anon! Seeing the baby must have felt crazy

No. 245687

>>245684
The doctor said she doesn't want me to record inside of the treatment room, not sure why exactly.

No. 245712

>>245681
Congrats anon! So glad you got to see your lil strawberry wiggling around.

I wasn’t allowed to take pics or videos either, they just gave me one printed picture at my 12 week scan. My husband wasn’t allowed to come to any of my appointments until the second anatomy scan at 24 weeks (baby was uncooperative for the first one lol) and he felt so excluded. I understand that covid protocols are in place for a reason but it really sucks for dads to not be able to take part early on.

No. 245742

>>245712
I also got some printed pictures to show him, but it's just not the same! Damn, that really sucks that yours had to wait 24 weeks… I also understand it's Covid and everything, but it's already so much harder for the men to build a relationship with the child and then they are not even allowed to be there for all the cool first moments! I can't wait for him to see it in two weeks, he is so excited for the baby. He kisses and rubs my stomach every day even tho there is barely a hint of a bump yet and he puts his head on it asking "How is our little berry doing?" it's so adorable. I can't wait to see his face when he sees the baby on the ultrasound and hears the heartbeat, I just know it's gonna be such a special moment.

No. 245958

>>245636
Thank you for the positive thoughts.
>>245645
It could take a while to get pregnant, which is what makes me so anxious. As long as I'm as sick as I am, a pregnancy would not be prudent. As far as money goes, it's not the cost of the baby, but the need for an emergency fund.

No. 245966

>>245958
I understand your fear and emergency funds are definitely important but you don't need 15k or anything on the dot before you even think about having kids. Plenty of families live comfortably with having a very little emergency fund

No. 245970

>>245687
A lot of doctors say no to video because if anything happens, they miss something on the scan or say something scary, you have video evidence in a lawsuit if it ever came down to it. It’s a liability thing. Same goes for the birth process. You can take photos but no video.

No. 245999

>>245517
You're still in your twenties, maybe treat your upcoming big birthday as motivation to really think about what you want and whether your husband is worth sacrificing that for, I'd argue that parenthood isn't something you should ever sacrifice for a partner. Half of all marriages end, factor in his young age and that increases the rate of divorce even more. Add in that you dont agree on this major part of life and it shoots up again.. you might be better off starting over at 30 than sinking more years into this. You're not trapped. You have time to think about what you want.

Staying because you feel too old to start over or because you'll never find someone to love you again.. that's the exact same shit abused women say to themselves.

No. 248676

I’m 8 weeks pregnant and I’m bloating worse than I’ve ever bloated in my life.. literally my clothes are already too tight and I’m constantly uncomfortable. Does it get better!?? I’m eating lots of fruits and veggies everyday and cutting back on carbs and gluten. I don’t know what to do but I look and feel way heavier than I should at this point! Anyone have any advice?

No. 248726

To anyone who’s been pregnant more than once: did your feet get a little bigger each time? Or just the first time? I didn’t have any changes in my body after pregnancy, sans a slight increase in foot width. I can wear all of my pre-pregnancy shoes, they’re just a bit tight now.

I’m worried that if it happens again I’ll end up getting sized out of both my own shoes, and basically all readily available/cheap new shoes though.

>>248676
Have you tried totally cutting salt? I know it’s pretty difficult, but it might be worth a shot. My mom had horrible swelling/bloating throughout her entire pregnancy with me and cutting salt was the only thing that helped.

No. 249011

I want a baby so bad. The worst part is that my bf got me pregnant already and made me get an abortion. It really eats away at me and I had no support when I was cramping and bleeding. He just left me in the bedroom and closed the door. I wish I deserved better. I wish I could have had my baby. It hurts so much. I still don’t have any support system. It’s awful. It eats away at me. I don’t have anyone to talk to. I don’t have any friends. I don’t have family. I feel alone.

No. 249172

>>248676
Go ahead and get a pair or two of maternity pants. Wearing clothes that cut into your stomach will make the bloated feeling worse.
>>249011
I am so sorry you had to go through that. What needs to fall in place so you can leave your bf? Do you live far away from family and friends, or are they out of the picture completely?

No. 249174

>>249011
I'm so sorry anon. I hope you're able to leave him.

No. 249193

>>249011
I'm so heartbroken to hear this. No one should go through this. I hope you can maybe consider that him treating you that way means he would have treated your child as bad, if not worse. "People" like this deserve nothing and are the lowest scum of the earth. I hope you can heal soon(don't use emojis)

No. 249195

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and I don't want to take any medication against the nausea but it's been getting really bad. I lost some kgs of weight and since I barely drink and can't keep any food inside me, I even passed out today. I feel so guilty and I don't know what to do. And yes I have tried Ginger, I even had a bit of Ginger in my mouth while passing out. Sorry for venting so much, I just hope that if someone had it that bad in first trimester that they still say that it stops at one point.

No. 249209

>>249195
Anon I think you should see a doctor. If you are at the point that you're losing significant amounts of weight and pass out because you can't consume things orally you might need some medical intervention. In most cases like yours yes it does stop eventually but you shouldn't wait it out. Is there a reason you don't want to take any medication for this?

No. 249210

>>249209
Just really not fond of doctors and taking medication, that's all. Also my mom took some nausea meds when pregnant with me and I feel like this gave me me some mental problems like depression-like feelings ever since I was a child.

No. 249223

>>249210
All the same you really should get checked out. This kind of thing can put your baby at risk for things like low birth weight. I'm not trying to scare you I just want you to know what can happen. You can't know how long this will last (it can go on up to 20 weeks) and nowadays antiemetics used on pregnant women are quite safe for use during pregnancy. But even if you don't take any meds you might need some rehydration (IV fluids) if you're not drinking much.

No. 249224

>>249210
No offence anon, but there's no way you think that seeing a doctor is going to be worse for you/your baby than passing out from hunger and losing weight

No. 249226

>>249210
christ fucking abort it for the benefit of everyone

No. 249229

>>249210
Vomiting too much and becoming too dehydrated can cause in abortus of the baby because the ADH levels rise too much. Please get it checked out, you do not have to take medicine but they can give you the vitamins and stuff you need intravenously. I hope for the best in you and want you to know thatyou can simply not take medicine for nausea but still get treatment that can ensure your and your baby's safety.

No. 249316

>>249229
>>249224
>>249223
Thank you, have made an appointment for soon. It's my first pregnancy also, so this is all very new to me

No. 249338

>>249316
That's good, I wish you good luck and health with your pregnancy. Like the other anons said, going to the doctor doesn't mean you have to take medication. I realize that my earlier post >>249224 may have sounded callous, so I'm sorry nonna

No. 249341

>>249338
Don't worry about this the slightest please, sometimes this is needed.

No. 249371

>>249195
Try vitamin b6 and/or Unisom- both safe to take during pregnancy

No. 251469

Currently pregnant and starting to show quite a bit. How did you all deal with your changing bodies? I thought I would be fine with it cause it's just a belly and bigger boobs, right? Well I didn't know that when you get pregnant your waist completely disappears. I had a nice hourglass figure before. Gone. Apparently your organs get pushed up by your uterus and give you a lovely barrel-shape. I am in that very non-cute in-between state where there is no nice round cute belly and I just look FAT AS FUCK and I hate it. I am so unhappy. I think I will be happier once I have a bigger belly and look more obviously pregnant but right now I am miserable.

My boobs also have gone up 3 cup sizesand I already had big breasts before so aside from having to buy bigger bras I also can not fit into any of my shirts, sweaters, jackets just because of my boobs. I have to buy clothes in XL now instead of M because otherwise I can not get them over my boobs. I look fat and frumpy and I HATE THIS SO MUCH!

No. 251473

>>213235
This. To add my own experience for anyone reading, the really key thing was to be with a partner (the father in my case) with qualities that you feel are complementary and beneficial. Again not to sound like a tradwife, but I think that’s why the ‘getting married’ thing is such a good indicator. If you’d marry a guy, then he’s likely a pretty safe bet (barring exceptional circumstances) for having babies with. While money is clearly essential, as long as you can appropriately feed, clothe, and house them then that’s all you really need. Freaking out about “being ready” will have you waiting until it’s too late - the only thing that truly prepares you for parenthood is becoming a parent!

No. 251474

>>249011
I’m so sorry to hear this anon. I hope you can take this pain and use it as motivation to create a life where you can have a baby, safe with a man who loves and takes care of you both. Blog but I had something similar happen to me as a teen, and now I’m happily married with children. It will happen for you anon. I’m just sorry you had to go through this first. Sending lots of love to you.

No. 251475

>>251469
If it makes you feel better, I hardly showed and blew up everywhere else as well. However, as soon as I started breastfeeding that went waaaaay down and I regained my pre-baby body pretty quickly. It's crazy how much your body burns to create that stuff. Your boobs might take a while to go down but as soon as your body "realises" how much your baby is eating they'll settle. Honestly my midwife was really helpful so it might be worth asking her if you have one.
Best of luck & enjoy your little baby nonnie.

No. 251481

Has anyone in the US done a home birth with a certified nurse midwife? I'm looking into because I'm the type of person who can't even relax enough to have a bowel movement away from home, but I'd love to know how it was for others.

No. 251483

>>251481
Anon i highly discourage against home births, a lot of women don't feel pain with certain conditions that 100% need medical attention, my mother had Placental abruption and thought it was normal contractions, if she hadn't gone to the hospital i'dve ended up either dead or with cerebal palsy (or worse like Luna from the Luna and Robin thread if you want some real anti home birth propaganda), I still have a few motor issues and autism but nothing that heavily impacts my life.
Please, for the sake of your children don't fucking homebirth.

No. 251506

>>251481
anon i can't say my own experiences but both my mother and my sister had home births and I plan to also eventually. They both enjoyed the process and did not like the idea of having to do it in a hospital. Homebirths do have a higher infant mortality rate, so thats something you have to accept. I would never do a homebirth if the pregnancy was high risk, if you lived really far away from a hospital, or if you had multiples.

Personally (as long as those things don't apply) I cannot imagine giving birth in a hospital, I've seen too many horror stories from women in them, and it isn't like bad things don't happen in hosptials too. I don't want to sound corny but at the end of the day you are bringing a life into this world, and you want that experience to be good. I would recommmend doing a lot of research before deciding. It is a very personal decison though and I hope you find happiness no matter which you choose!

No. 251572

>>251475
Yeah I have no doubt that I will get rid of the pregnancy weight pretty fast, but it just sucks for now. I think I will also be more comfortable once I look very obviously pregnant and am past that "is she pregnant or just fat?" stage. My husband is being great tho and he seems to really love how I look still and he rubs my belly every day and says he thinks it looks cute. I mostly get upset when I have to shop for clothes and then try them on, it's so frustrating that nothing looks good on me anymore.

No. 252053

File: 1648359544804.jpg (127.28 KB, 1280x1013, nell_dorr.jpg)

I feel like I'm too old to have a baby. I've been crying about it alot recently. Maybe it's for the best, even though I love children and I know I would be a good mother, maybe it's better to just let this go.

To all the mothers here I wish you the best and I send my love.

No. 252055

File: 1648359896636.jpg (82.13 KB, 540x360, tumblr_nsrw4liz161u6jismo7_540…)

pregnant with twin girls atm, 30 weeks. i have no idea wtf am i doing aaaaaaa

No. 252062

>>252053
i'm so sorry anon, it's sad when women who really want kids (that seem like they wuld be GREAT moms) don't get to have them. I know you heard this a lot, but if you have a nurturing side, have you considered adoption (if it is feasible in your country)? or volunteering with something that involves kids, that that tends to be the same kid?

No. 252090

>>252053
How old are you? My mom had me at 39 and I turned out fine, promise I don't have autism even tho I am on here sometimes.

No. 252108

>>252055
Congratulations anon!

No. 252140

>>252090
NTA but same, my mom had me at 38 and I turned out healthy too (aside from browsing lc) even more so than my brother who was born when she was 23.

>>252055
Congrats! Wishing you lots of luck and energy for when your girls arrive.

No. 252223

>>252055
cute! my friend had twins and she said even though she was overwhelmed as hell there was a calm she felt when they were born and she held them at the same time. I wish your family well, nona. <3

No. 252295

>>252062
I've considered adoption, because it would be great to give a child a welcoming home and family. I know this sounds selfish, but I also want to experience pregnancy too. It's difficult to explain over text but within the last six months, I've undergone a profound psychological change in which I feel a part of the cycle of life. It was a change in my psyche and it had alot to do with communicating with my ancestors. I know that sounds weird but I can't deny the impact it's had on my way of looking at the world. I see life as momentary change, everything happening all at once in a passing singularity, and I see myself as part of the cycle of birth, death, and rebirth.

>>252090
I'm 27. I know I'm young, healthy, and capable of taking care of a baby. The reason I'm bummed out is I doubt I'll ever find a husband to do this with, and I'm committing the next two years of my life to graduate school. I have this specific fear that by the time I'm 30 my eggs won't be good anymore lol.

Yesterday my parents were congratulating me on getting into grad school, and I was happy that they were happy, but when it was just me and my mom I joked around and said I hope I find a husband at university. It feels like I'm going through the motions of being a grad student when deep down all I want to do is be a mother.

Sorry for the long post. In the past year, four women in my apartment building have had babies, and everytime I see them my brain emotionally short circuits

No. 252662

Any anons here had a baby with one ovary?
I had mine removed recently and I'm so scared the other one is going to have some kind of cyst issue again. I want to have a child in the next few years but im afraid something will happen between now and then. Any recommendations on improving ovary health too? Thanks nonnas

No. 252666

>>252295
>27
Ok you are insane, there is plenty of time. I browse the pregnancy subreddits sometimes and the median age on there is 30. Lots of women are 34,35 and older. I myself plan to have kids into my mid to late 30s because I want to have at least 4. It's absolutely not an issue to have kids in your 30s, stop going on 4chan and listening to incels who spam egg-memes.

No. 252692

>>252662
I've had few patients who had babies with only one ovary. There's not really much you can do to avoid ovary problems like cysts I'm afraid. Best you can do is get regular check ups to detect any changes early. Have you spoken to a doctor about maybe freezing eggs in case anything happens to this ovary in the future? For overall ovary health you can do a few things: avoid carcinogens (like cigarettes), keep a healthy weight and diet, exercise, avoid hormonal birth control if ur using bc, and manage stress.

No. 253256

23 weeks and my little girl is moving like crazy. No one told me how scary the feeling of a tiny fetus kicking and rolling around inside you is. I love feeling her and knowing she is there, but this truly does feel like body horror sometimes.

No. 253480

I am probably gonna be shamed to hell and back, so I'll sage this one and hope a kind anon answers.

I slept with two different guys unprotected a week apart, now I'm pregnant. Slept with the first guy a day after my period ended, he didn't orgasm. Slept with the second one pretty much what was supposed to be the day I ovulate, he pulled out, then he put it straight back in, I didn't have time to even object it happened so fast. 6 days later I got a mild tingle in my uterus.

I know sperm theoretically can survive 7 days, and precum can theoretically contain sperm. So I'm pretty much freaking out not knowing who the father is.

I'll keep it if I know who the father is, but I can't go through with it alone then seeing who the dad is when its born. Prenatal fatherhood testing is illegal here.

No. 253579

>>252662
I had to have my other ovary removed too, my doctors told me that it shouldn't affect my fertility at all and I should be able to get pregnant with only one just the same. So don't worry, like >>252692 said just keep a healthy lifestyle and you should be fine. That's what I was told at least, and I know multiple women who have gotten pregnant with only ovary.

No. 253590

>>253480
No shame here, anon. That really sucks. I don't frequent this thread but I wish you the best ♥

No. 254139

>>253590
Thank you sweet anon

No. 254378

This is seriously such a mean question, but what if I have children with physical/mental problems? I've been watching youtube channels of families with children who have cerebral palsy or autism and some shit and I really cbf with that. Is there a way to test for that before you have kids? Or is it a luck of the draw?

No. 254389

>>254378
genetic testing can be done but it's usually expensive and not covered but I think it would be worth it. Ranges from 2k-3k USD

No. 254607

>>254378
You could do 23 and me or some shit. Also knowing your family history is a good start. I never got genetic testing done before pregnancy but I was tested while pregnant. They test for Down syndrome mostly. My father carries the gene for cystic fibrosis(a terminal illness), and so they tested me to see if I was also a carrier. Thankfully I am not.

I don’t believe you can test for things like autism but if you have family that is autistic, then the chances are higher.

No. 255324

Why did no one warn me of the hair growth. Husband keeps saying he doesn't see any hair but my stomach and breasts are COVERED, my arm hairs are long and I swear my peach fuzz on my face is becoming longer and thicker too. I guess I'm high testosterone after all, or maybe it's a sign that it will be a boy.

No. 255461

>>255324
I have a girl and I have gotten extremely hairy. Mustache and all.

No. 255462

>>255324
I have a daughter too and got peach fuzz all over my tum, back, thighs and butt. It's actually weird because growing more hair during pregnancy actually means higher estrogen
https://www.healthline.com/health/hairy-belly#:~:text=When%20you're%20pregnant%2C%20your,the%20hair%20on%20your%20head.

No. 255463

>>255461
NTA but you didn't have a mustache?? I always did.

No. 255877

>>255463
I had very light barely there peach fuzz. Now I have some dark thick hairs sprinkled about.

No. 255924

How do you guys handle the insane amount of kicking? I'm losing several hours of sleep due to the amount of kicking

No. 256022

>>253480
I miscarried.

No. 256134

File: 1649822992838.png (636.99 KB, 712x566, 47545733377.png)

>>256022
I'm sorry anon. Even if it wasn't meant to be that's still a rough thing to go through. Hope you are okay after this ♥

No. 257014

At what point did you feel your baby move and kick? And is it very subtle or obvious? My grandma said it happens after 3rd month of pregnancy but I'm at 4 months now with barely any bump and also feeling nothing at all. The Obgyn says everything is fine, but Im afraid I'm just numb or something?

No. 257017

>>255461
>>255462
did it go away after pregnancy? do nonnies know?

No. 257020

>>257014
It can take up to 25 weeks for some women to feel their baby's movements, especially if it's ur first child. If ur doctor visits are uneventful I wouldn't worry too much. (Or you could get a second opinion if you'd like). You should only be alarmed if after you start feeling movements regularly they suddenly stop for a significant period of time. (When you start feeling kicks you can keep a count of how many you usually feel in an hour so if there's a severe deviation you'll know right away).

No. 257032

>>257014
I didn't feel it until 5 months or so and the baby was fine. It may have something to do with placenta placement, keep tabs with your doctor but I wouldn't worry too much about it.

No. 257311

>>257014
i started feeling little hints of something around 19 weeks but I'm now 24 weeks and only just starting to feel definite movement. placenta placement is a huge factor early on too, mines at the front so everythings a bit dulled and I'm told that's normal

No. 257582

How do I mentally deal with getting stretchmarks? I am only 26 weeks and I already started noticing a few on my thighs and legs. I thought I would be able to handle these changes, but I can't help but feel depressed about it. My mother's stretchmarks are pretty bad, and I am just waiting for the inevitable to happen.

No. 257583

>>257582
Nobody really cares about how you look except your husband and ideally, he won't find stretch marks a big deal.

Our bodies change as we age and we're all going to be ugly one day, there's no way around it.

No. 257584

>>257582
There are some creams that can help reduce scarring afaik. You can visit a derm to see your options.
Then again, stretch marks aren't really noticeable and I've had them from my teens but only noticed years later when someone ill intentioned pointed them out. If even you yourself can't notice them and only people nitpicking you can, are they really that big of a deal? Some women have worse marks and that's why I also mentioned the creams or oils at the start, you can still do something about it if you find that you can't accept the changes and want to lessen their intensity.

No. 257585

>>257582
my mom had no stretch marks after being pregnant with twins, I know it's largely genetic but she also used sweet almond oil every day so you could try that

No. 257657

>>257311
I have an anterior placenta and was told I wouldn't feel kicks as much, fast forward to my baby having fucking raves while I'm trying to sleep kek

No. 257889

Are you guys having a boy or a girl? Girl here. Everyone around me seems to be having boys. Can't relate.

No. 257891

>>257585
Can’t remember off the top of my head but there’s a nutrient deficiency during pregnancy that makes them worse.

No. 257908

>>257889
I have a girl and I'm excited, boys are a fucking nightmare and scare me

No. 258141

>>257891
Collagen or Biotin, possibly (?)

No. 258536

I apologize in advance for venting.

My pregnancy has been really difficult, and I’m counting down the days until it’s over (currently 30 weeks).

I kicked off my pregnancy with HG starting at about 4 weeks. I couldn’t keep anything down, including water. I was throwing up about 10–12 times a day. I went to the ER 5 times for fluids before my midwife referred me to an infusion clinic.

Unfortunately, the fluids didn’t give me much relief for my nausea and I still couldn’t keep food and liquids down (I tried all the antiemetics available to me and they didn’t work or had equally bad side effects). I ended up losing about 15lbs.

Around week 18 I finally stopped throwing up all day and only threw up about 5 times in the morning and could keep some food and liquids down. My HG finally tapered off around 24 weeks.

After the HG, I had really bad heartburn so I ate small portions of bland foods. A few weeks later I only experienced heartburn at night, so I could finally enjoy food. I was experiencing pregnancy cravings for the first time and it felt so good to finally eat.

At 28 weeks I was diagnosed with GD after failing both the 1 and 3 hour test. I experienced a lot of stress and anxiety for my daughter. I felt like I had failed her somehow.

Now, at week 30, I’m just over it. Besides the HG and the GD, I’m constantly in pain, exhausted and feel like garbage. I’m so ready for my daughter to be born.

I know that a lot of women have waaaay worse pregnancies than I do and I shouldn’t complain. It’s just hard. Thankfully my daughter is healthy. I’m just ready to see her cute little face.

No. 258539

>>258536
Sorry for the wall of text, too!

No. 259268

>>258536
Is this your first? I heard that with girls the nausea gets worse, but also that the worse it is that the healthier the child will be. Don't worry, and please see your sacrifice as something good. Basically your body going sicko mode to ensure your child's health comes first. This is beautiful. Stay strong.

No. 259269

>>257582
Try maybe some rosehip oil, coconut oil, maybe some vitamin E cream as well.

No. 259272

>>258536
Ugh sorry nona. I puked a TON with my daughter too but not as much or as long as you. The final weeks are the worst too.

The last couple of weeks with my son, I was in so much pain I was walking on my hands and knees at times. Sometimes I laid down on the floor not moving because my pelvis felt like it was going to explode. He sat soooo low.

Once she’s out you’ll feel much better. Start nesting! Keeps your mind off your body and keeps you focused on the baby.

No. 259311

>>258141
Does it? I've been taking collagen and biotin religiously and still got stretch marks at 35 weeks. I'm having a big baby though and I'm quite small so it was inevitable

No. 259331

In regards to conceiving, did anyone use a tracking app or did you just regularly test for ovulation? I have one of the apps and I'm worried its starting to make me a bit neurotic about the whole thing, always reading and refreshing it. Considering deleting but its so useful in knowing where I am in my cycle

No. 259528

>>259331
if the app calculates by dates only from when your period was, they aren't actually that accurate- because you can ovulate basically anywhere in between. Like right after period or maybe just before the next one, it's all just estimates and averages. Biology isn't really tuned to clockworks.

No. 259558

>>259331
I used a period tracking app and had sex on all the marked ovulation days. I was able to conceive when I wanted to. I think the apps have merit because before ttc, I used the app as the only form of birth control, and never got pregnant from unprotected sex with my husband (for 2 years).

No. 259734

I'm having a big baby boy and I'm a really petite framed woman. I have a posterior placenta and I already feel movement regularly. At my last ultrasound my son was kicking, stretching, and even rolling over like crazy! My OB couldn't even get a cute screenshot because he wouldn't be still. I'm only 16 weeks but things are already getting uncomfortable for me and I can't imagine how I'll feel in 20 weeks. I already can't comfortably lay on my back or side, I'm constantly out of breath, I bought larger pants that are already too tight.. Everyone keeps telling me how much bigger my belly is every week- its just popping out more and more like crazy. It's kind of blowing my mind because I was not expecting to show like this. Our baby keeps measuring one week ahead of growth consistently and I'm wondering if I'm farther than they think or if I'm just having a big baby?? His dad really isn't a huge guy? I'm stressing for my own sake but thankful that my baby is healthy and growing. How uncomfortable does baby's movement get in the third trimester? I have absolutely no idea what to expect.

No. 259759

>>259268
Yep! She’s my first. Thankfully she’s doing really well. It’s just mom that’s having a hard time. Just 60 more days…

No. 259761

>>259272
Yikes! I feel like I’m starting to get to that point. If I walk around for longer than 10 minutes I either get pain from diastasis and/or contractions. I should try crawling more often haha

No. 259764

>>259734
The same thing happen to me. My daughter would not stop moving during the ultrasounds.

By the third trimester, from my experience, the movements will be a little slower but a lot stronger, if that makes sense? My little one will slowly stretch, kick and punch me for like 10 to 15 minutes straight. The worst is when they start to kick you in the ribs and bladder. Also, they might move around so much it wakes you up at night.

No. 259952

Does anyone use an owlet? I got one for my baby shower and was excited but I keep reading that it sets off false alarms all night, is this true?

No. 260091

>>259558
Consider yourself lucky because those apps are super inaccurate. Once I started actually tracking my ovulation with ovulation tests I found out that I ovulate a week later than the app predicted. The only way to really know when you ovulate is to use ovulation tests as well as measuring your basal body temperature every day.

No. 260096

My heart goes out to all the nonnies with difficult pregnancies and lots of nausea. I am extremely thankful that my pregnancy has been super easy and I haven't been nauseous at all except for maybe 1 or 2 times, but my mom told me she was the same when she was pregnant with me, just barely any symptoms. I very rarely get heartburn, I am not constipated (tbf I eat extremely healthy and tons of fiber) and really don't have any negative symptoms other than feeling more tired and exhausted and out of breath easier.

Just for anyone reading this thread who might be scared of pregnancy and being nauseous/feeling awful all the time, that's not always the case.

No. 260166

File: 1651353546341.jpeg (41.99 KB, 640x640, 7FECD837-15C2-4A92-8F81-4272CC…)

my husband and I have began trying to conceive. i have an appointment with my gyno in a couple of weeks, but i was wondering if any nonas have helpful tips + can link some websites, apps, etc. i have no idea where to start reading information. i have ordered some folic acid and pre natal vitamins but am so not sure what else to do! ♥

No. 260258

>>260166
"It starts with the egg" Is a book thats often recommended, otherwise I read /r/tryingtoconceive on reddit for some advice, but be warned, it's reddit so most women on there are neurotic and fat weirdos who make their husbands jizz in cups and then self-inseminate cause their husbands all have ED. They know all about the theory of getting pregnant tho, they just can't put it in practice. They have good resources and you can ask a lot of questions.

Some ovulation tests and tracking your ovulation with an app like premom or fertilityfriend could also help. These apps ask you to track your basal body temperature to figure out your ovulation and with premom you can take pictures of your ovulation tests (buy a big box of cheap ones on amazon you can get like 50 for $10) and it will read them for you, you will also need a special thermometer for this.


Of course you don't have to do any tracking at all unless you don't conceive within a couple of months of trying naturally. I tracked everything just for fun and because it became a little bit of an obsession, but we just had sex every day and got pregnant in my second cycle off the pill.

No. 260509

>>260258
ty so much! i will check that reddit out. i have been tracking my ovulation with flo, but I'll definitely check those other apps out. we are definitely in no rush but i do like tracking things too. hopefully it'll happen soon! we have only tried twice so far, but they were on my highly fertile days.

No. 260541

>>260166
I have been reading a lot into Ray Peat diet, and on the forums there a girl said after taking Progesterone (Progest-E oil or something was the name in the shop, an orange bottle) she conceived even though doctors have literally told her she's infertile.

No. 260655

I am planning for a baby. I already took 2 vaccines last year and I wondering will getting the 3rd one mess me up. I need to visit my family and help them out, but they are far away from me and their airport system works with 3G, as in
>You either have to survive the COVID and come negative
>Paying 200$ for a PCR-test
>Getting the 3rd vaccine, which is free.
I am wondering if I should get vaccinated again. I am paranoid because of all of the talks on boards and social medias over the past years.

No. 260662

>>260655
I chose not to get vaccinated after a close friend of mine had a miscarriage right after she got the vaccine. On the subreddits where they are trying to conceive they also all report that their periods got irregular afterwards, they had longer cycles or anovulatory cycles right after getting the vaccine. You're already vaxxed twice, do you really need a third? It doesn't really do anything.

No. 260732

>>260166
Spearmint pills worked wonders on me and they're only 3 bucks on Amazon. Hope this helps!

No. 260733

>>260662
Definitely. Everyone I know who's vaccinated are having trouble conceiving or major pregnancy complications

No. 260773

>>256134
Thank you so much. I still cry about it, I still struggle a lot even though it was so early and its probably dumb to grieve. Most end in miscarriaged anyway so I just feel silly being so sad about it. I just feel so very empty inside now. The feeling of the hormones leaving my body makes me feel hollow. I know it was for the best, but I'm still so very sad. Stupid as I am I already bonded with it, I felt like it was my special secret, a little seed inside of me to take care of. Silly.

No. 260867

>>260733
is that true? i got vaccinated and i want to have kids some day.. have noticed my periods have become strangely heavy after getting vaccinated. i also once had my period come early despite being on the pill and religiously taking it every day at the same time. never happened to me before.. so.. i worry about my fertility..

No. 260868

>>260867
like my period came like clockwork due to the pill before i got vaccinated. knowing that other women who have gotten funny periods after is freaking me out. anyone in this thread successfully have a kid after getting the vaccine?

No. 260871

>>260868
I had both doses of Moderna last dose being in June. I was able to get pregnant my first attempt in October/November. Currently in 3rd trimester with no issues. I didn't have any altered period symptoms though.

No. 260904

>>260655
You can fake a PCR test easily, if you want to I can provide you with one from a German lab or from a lab in Spain. I have traveled with these multiple times via plane and no one even really looks at them. You can also travel with the 2 vaccines you got, I'm pretty sure. Read closely the pages of the foreign ministry of where you're going. BTW I never vaccinated and had no problem travelling.

No. 260978

>>260867
There are not yet studies about how the vaccine will affect female fertility since not enough time has passed. The only studies they did before waving the vaccine through for pregnant women were on rats.

No. 262987

Got diagnosed with high blood pressure AND gestational diabetes. I've been trying so hard this pregnancy maintaining a healthy diet and getting some exercise in. I feel defeated.

No. 262997

>>262987
Sometimes it really is just genetics; don’t beat yourself up too much. Despite sticking to a super strict 1400kcal diet and light exercise routine throughout my entire pregnancy, I still managed to gain 20kg. Apparently I retain water like crazy and nothing my doctors suggested could change it. I think pregnancy is just a complete crapshoot for most people. Do what you can to take care of your body for the time being, and take it easy as much as possible. Wishing you luck on the remainder of your pregnancy, nona!

No. 263055

Nonnies I’m hoping to get pregnant next year and I’m excited and scared at the prospect. I’ve got a lot of fears about giving birth, mainly because I don’t trust doctors for various reasons, so I’m wondering how you all overcame your anxieties?
I’m really scared of my baby being taken away after giving birth, it’s important to me that I get skin to skin with baby asap but I don’t know how realistic that is. I’m also scared of them cutting me, is that common? Is that just something they do or is that an emergency thing?
What do you wish you’d known before getting pregnant and giving birth? And what all should I expect after the birth?

No. 263078

>>263055
I would definitely look into getting a midwife instead of an OB. If not, getting a doula. It changes the whole atmosphere of birth and they are more likely to listen to your wishes. It helped with my anxiety a ton.

No. 263156

>>263055
Hey, me too! I think the best things we can do are to find local groups like WI maybe to get more experienced women's advice and help. Also getting yourself to a good level of fitness before trying I'm sure would be beneficial too

No. 263164

>>263055
Where do you live? They usually don’t take your baby away unless it needs serious medical attention right away. Skin to skin is pretty standard practice (I live in California) here and no one takes your baby away unless you allow it. And any time they took my baby for a test or something, their dad always went with. You are the advocate for the baby so they don’t /can’t do anything without consent.
I’ve never heard of not doing skin to skin as soon as the baby is born. Although I think if you get a cesarean done, it’s a little different since you’re numb from the neck down or something. But they still put the baby on you. You’re the warmest thing and it’s cold for a baby once they’re out of the womb. The feeling is amazing - I’ll never forget it especially with my first. Made me cry so hard.

As for the anxiety…can’t help you. I had a few panic attacks during birth. Nitrous helps- ask for it. Midwives are better and you can ask for a doula.
The hospital I gave birth at never cuts and I never tore. Depends where you go I guess.

Your birthing hospital should offer classes. Take them all.

No. 263267

>>263055
I was thinking of employing a midwife for a homebirth, but my family ultimately views that as too much of a risk, also it can cost like 1k-1.5k in my country and I can't afford that. Also since its my first birth, I dont know what to expect. Maybe next time. I simply hope that I could make my husband be present and aggressively stating enough that we do not wish anything done that they don't dare to.

No. 263370

>>263267
What about midwife assisted hospital birth? That's what I am doing with my first. I also hired a doula in training to help. It was much cheaper (400 usd) and she provides a decent level of support and education that makes me feel less anxious.

No. 263749

File: 1652496144421.jpg (571.84 KB, 1073x1003, Screenshot_20200909-084116_Fir…)

I've never really had "baby feelings" before, but recently I've started dreaming of having sons and in my dreams the love I feel for them is so visceral it's actually making me want a baby. I'm married and we have good jobs and maybe it's time?

No. 263752

>>263749
Why not anon, if you're having positive thoughts about it and you're financially stable then you're already 80% better than a lot of mums today. Good luck!

No. 263766

>>263749
I forgot chinchilla's existed

No. 263783

>>260867
It's like flipping a coin pretty much, a lot of women are miscarrying like crazy after the vaccine and it creates a lot of blood clots in the placenta. I honestly wouldn't get the jab if you don't need to since it doesn't even prevent COVID in the first place, so you're at risk for both what COVID does during pregnancy and what the vaccine does during pregnancy

No. 263784

>>263749
I would say to think on it more but if you really real like you should, go for it

No. 263799

Did any of you feel slight cramps that are kinda like period cramps for quite a while till week 20 and then they stop and you suddenly feel like you're not pregnant anymore? I have another ultrasound this Thursday but I'm freaking out for some reason and don't know if I should wait until then.

No. 263811

>>263799
Might be round ligament pain? It's pain you get from the ligaments that hold your uterus up in your body cavity slowly stretching out as your uterus grows. Totally normal. Mine also went away around 20 weeks, most of my symptoms I had in the first trimester have disappeared other than being tired and having sore nipples. The second trimester is supposed to be the most comfortable/symptom free one.

No. 263942

I'm almost 38 weeks and having no signs of labor coming anytime soon despite nipple stimulation, raspberry leaf tea, dates, spicy stuff, etc. I feel so done being pregnant. Is there anything anons did to induce labor ASAP?

No. 263998

My husband is a lawyer and works for an old-school firm that will give him no time off after the birth of our kid. We have no friends or family within hundreds of miles. Any nonnies been through this entirely solo (until my husband gets home at 6:30pm)? Any tips? At least I work from home and get a couple weeks off..

No. 264036

>>263998
Seconding this question, I'm in a similar boat and want to know how other nonnies dealt with this.

No. 264064

How bad is sleeping on your back during pregnancy really? At times I feel like I toss and turn and get 3 hours of sleep since the ONLY position that my back doesn't feel like hell in is my back

No. 264128

>>264064
If you prop a pillow under you so you are at a slight angle it's fine. Most of the things I have read about it say that you will feel really bad if it actually is doing damage to you or the baby (shortness of breath, pain, dizziness) but it generally isn't the best position to be in. If you wake and find yourself laying on your back just shove a pillow under you or move onto your side.

No. 264129

>>264064
If you’re comfortable like that, and you’re earlier in your pregnancy, it should be fine. You can try to sleep in more of a propped up/sitting position if you’re worried. The main reason it’s not recommended is because the weight can cut off blood flow to both you and the baby. Personally I’d rather be safe than sorry, but it’s your call.

No. 264158

>>263998
>>264036
I would have been in a similar boat but my husband was laid off right around when the baby was born (when everything went to hell because of covid). My main advice would be to have tons of easily prepared or ready made food (especially frozen food that you've frozen yourself) ready. Same for all other supplies but food is the main one.

I'm sorry you guys are in this situation, is it at all possible to get a doula or family member or something to visit you? I don't want to scare you or put you off but I was a total wreck after birth, I would have had a very hard time doing it alone.

No. 264240

>>263942
my MIL said okra water helps

No. 264499

We've decided to start the journey, so I want a few questions as an amateur to all this.
How long do I have to work out for/eat well before we decide to properly try for a baby? I always said I wanted to go really organic and fit before I decide to get pregnant.

Also, once you got off birth control/iuds, how long did you have to wait until your body was baby ready?

No. 264509

>>264499
The only thing you really should do a couple of months in advance of trying for a baby is to start taking prenatal vitamins, especially folic acid, you need a depot of it in your body to help your babies brain grow within the first couple of weeks so it's good to start in advance.

I got pregnant the second cycle off birth control, but it took me a while to ovulate each cycle, I ovulated on cycle day 32 when I got pregnant. Your periods will probably not be regular at first.

You don't need to be super fit or live organic to start trying, if you are overweight you should try to lose some weight because being overweight during pregnancy can increase risks of gestational diabetes, high birth weight in the baby etc. Also you might have a harder time ovulating if you are overweight or obese.

No. 264708

>>264509
Thanks for your reply anon.
Are there any foods I should avoid while preparing?

No. 264919

Got my first belly stretchmarks at 30 weeks. I feel really depressed about it because they look so angry and red. I have been habitually moisturizing and hydrating. I know it's all just genetics but I feel so insecure and bad about myself. I woke up today and there were so many just overnight. I feel depressed because my mother is a cunt about things like stretchmarks and she is going to cry and nag me about how I should have done this or that or slowed down on the eating or how I am just a big fat piece of shit who is now ugly and gross. Mommy issues clearly. I've been very dependent on her during my pregnancy so it sucks.

No. 264926

>>264919
No offense but you're growing a massive fucking belly wtf do you expect? Who the fuck gets pregnant thinking they won't get stretchmarks? So you're not in the 1% of miraculous anomalies that somehow avoid the most normal, expected and harmless side effect of pregnancy, big deal.

No. 264928

>>264926
I knew I would get them, maybe it's the increase of hormones, but seeing them actually on me made me feel depressed. You start getting used to a huge foreign belly and then all of a sudden you have itchy sore and sensitive red streaks all over. My body just doesn't feel like it's mine anymore.

No. 264940

>>264708
Mostly raw meat/fish and unpasteurized milk/cheese, undercooked eggs, unwashed vegetables and fruit. Anything that could give you food poisoning (Listeria) because your immune system is very low during pregnancy. Just buy a pregnancy book and read all about it, I recommend "What to expect when you're expecting" or the one from the Mayo Clinic. They have tons of info.

No. 264941

>>264926
It's honestly brainwashing from all the instagram and youtub mommies with perfectly smooth stretch-mark free bellies. Some people are just super lucky and don't get any, the rest photoshop them out.

No. 265087

What places sell cute, non-polyester maternity clothing that isn't too expensive?

No. 265105

>>264919
I got some on my stomach at like 38 weeks and I was absolutely distraught. My mother is a toxic cunt who's bragged about how fast her body bounced back after she had kids and how she never got stretch marks even after having 3 kids. I never told her I got them because I refused to give her the satisfaction but even though my son is almost 2 they still make me feel really sad. I felt like a failure for getting them, even though I rubbed stupid lotion on my belly for 9 months. Especially since people say it's genetics and my mom made sure I knew she didn't have them. I had my belly button pierced and it gave me these two really bad stretch marks that kind of shot up from where the hole is. The ones on my lower stomach faded and they really aren't that noticable, yours will fade too. After I gave birth though and saw my stomach I was so depressed I had to shower in the dark, but I had pretty severe PPD.

In cute news, today my baby gave me an actual hug for the first time and then my husband kneeled down to get one and he ran over and gave him a hug as well. It made my husband cry and it was really cute.

No. 265169

>>265087
I got some cute summer dresses at H&M.

No. 265212

This is a really gross question, but were any of you anons super unhealthy before you decided to have a baby? I've been smoking for over 10 years and im quitting now and I still drink on weekends. I'm on a diet now and I go for walks every day. I know I'm not the best case scenario and I really want to try harder but I always assume that women start from really healthy places before they have kids and I just feel so… unhealthy and sad. Is it still possible to have kids just coming out fresh of this lifestyle?
Thanks all

No. 265283

>>265212
So many unhealthy people go on to have normal healthy babies. If you are concerned though, I would advise being clean from substances for atleast 3 months before trying to conceive. Start taking prenatals in this 3 month time period as well. You should be OK. Watch out for the alcohol because even minimal amounts during pregnancy can affect your baby.

No. 265340

>>265105
Toxic moms who claim they bounced back are liars. My grandma-in-law and MIL both never shut up about how great they looked after kids. Found some actual pictures and MIL had complete lunch lady arms and was built like a brick after giving birth, continued to gain more weight and is death fat. GIL was similar but she did actually lose the weight but definitely was far far from the fit bombshell she described herself to be kek. Always take older narcs who claim they were super hot back then with a grain of salt

No. 265370

>>265340
I don't think it's always a toxic thing. I think in the same way that women 'forget about the pain of childbirth' that with the passing of time women have a tendency to forget alot of the negatives that happened around the birth of a child in general. That your memories get replaced with rosier versions of that time overall. Natures built in way to keep you coming back for more pregnancy.

I've witnessed friends who went through all sorts of struggle in the beginning and they just forget it all later on. It's a whole thing. Women suffering with post-partum sadly don't get blessed with the same handy amnesia that helps others cope.

Tbh you coming onto a thread about babies and talking about lunch lady bodies and being built like a brick after birth is the last thing any post-partum anon needs to read if she's having a rough time.

No. 265578

File: 1653226275519.jpg (1.21 MB, 1600x1075, dad and kids.jpg)

For those who have had children, at what age did the baby start to have interest in dad? Was it right away, or after a while? Other than making time for skin to skin, are there other ways to strengthen the father-child bond?

No. 265935

My ovulation was around the 14th. My cup size has gone up significantly in just a few days, at least two sizes and they're "filled out," even my partner commented. This is fairly abnormal because I've never had breast swelling or increase in size that sometimes accompanies mensural symptoms. I've also had flat or small flabby chest my whole life regardless of being under or overweight. My butt and thighs have changed shape and are wider also, though it's not as drastic. I've felt a light general nausea as well, but no vomiting. As of the last 3 days, I'm eating for two. I can feel my digestion has slowed down. I've been eating lots of junk food up until recently; my body is telling me "no" and craving natural proteins like steak and yogurt. Symptoms shouldn't be this early, right? I don't know what to expect. It's too early to take a test.

No. 265956

>>265935
Progesterone increases both before your period and if you are pregnant and causes the exact same symptoms. The first symptom of a pregnancy is a positive pregnancy test, if you are pregnant enough to have symptoms, you are pregnant enough to test positive. Everything else is in your head.

No. 265993

>>265340
My mom looked better, but that's because she quit smoking when she got pregnant. Smoking prevented her from doing sports before, so she was really excited to try them after I was born. She got into kickboxing, swing dancing, riding, and fishing, so she was more fit than she was when she smoked, plus she gained a cup size after the pregnancy. I used to think it was hot air when she said she looked better after kids, but I compared pictures and she was telling the truth.

TL;DR, it's possible to look better after pregnancy so long as it coincides with other major positive changes.

No. 266777

File: 1653788034702.jpeg (55.14 KB, 474x631, af5f7966cae9e6020c92b8a00717d8…)

>boobs grow from barely B to D cups
>one of them is bigger than the other

No. 266778

>>265212

Nonna, I smoked for 17 years, had EDNOS for 4 years, which caused me to have no period for a whole year. I smoked weed and drank fairly regularly, although not heavily. Granted I biked and walked a lot and ate well once my EDNOS was resolved.

It took me 2 years to fall pregnant in my early 30s. Honestly, I thought I couldn't get pregnant. But it happened when things kind of settled down and my anxiety dropped. I quit smoking within 2 weeks and drinking right away. My pregnancy went well, aside from a few episodes of light bleeding, and my baby is healthy.

Tldr: it is never too late for a positive change. Idk about how corny this is.

No. 266970

>>266778
Thanks anon. Its good to know there are others out there who dont come from perfectly clean, routine lifestyles. I'm beginnning my weight loss journey now coupled with more vitamins etc and no drinking/smoking.

No. 266995

File: 1653882212845.jpeg (7.18 KB, 307x164, images.jpeg)

I love breastfeeding so much. Seeing my baby be so comfy and loved while nursing brings me joy and contentment unlike anything Ive ever known. I used to hate my body so much, I thought it was disgusting and dirty. But it did this amazing thing of nourishing my babies. I may not have the most toned or beautiful body, but it can do something so wonderful and for that I love it.

My six-month old is my last baby and I'm trying to soak up every moment of it. Sorry for being sappy, nonnas

No. 266997

File: 1653882630012.jpg (13.7 KB, 410x299, 7ec94d22cfee3438ee8dbed5ada811…)

>>266995
This is so sweet, wow.

No. 267010

Baby thread is best. Ngl. I have baby fever but I don’t think I would ever have the money that a baby lifestyle would have.

No. 267023

>>267010
I love babies, it really makes me believe there is innocence in this world. If I could, I would protect every child from cruelty and give them safety and love. I know I'm not fit to be a mother, maybe I will never be but discussions about motherhood still interest me. During times when my baby fever is particularly high, I can get crazy kek

No. 267037

I am 24 weeks now and starting to feel quite pregnant, my bump is pretty big already and I am starting to be really uncomfortable while sleeping with leg and hip pain. I tried a pregnancy pillow but it doesn't really work for me, it just annoys me at night and makes turning over from side to side harder since I can't sleep on my back anymore.

The thing that is stressing me out the most right now is that we can't find a new apartment. We currently still live in my 1-bedroom student apartment and there is no space for two people let alone three. We have been searching for months, we have more than enough money to get a 3-4 bedroom, no debt, no pets, but we keep getting rejected. There are so many people looking for apartments right now due to the refugee crisis (Europe) and the landlords can choose between 100 applicants and we never make the cut. Last week one landlord gave us hope and invited us to sign a contract only to change their mind last minute and say they want to keep looking for other applicants… It makes me so frustrated I could cry every day because I feel like we will be stuck here forever with a baby in this enclosed space.

No. 267040

>>267037
Answering to your latter issue, don't worry anon so many people have tiny places when they have a baby and the thing is, your baby won't be walking until they hit a year or more anyway so it'll just need a place to lie down most of the time which doesn't require much space. You've got plenty of time to find a place, it took my parents half a year this year to get approved for an apartment but they eventually did. Just make sure to send out those applications on the daily.

No. 267046

>>267040
It's so hard not to get discouraged, especially with all the pregnancy hormones. My husband also doesn't speak the local language (he moved to this country for me and is still learning) so it's all up to me to find a new place to live for us and talk to all the landlords, prepare all the documents etc. I won't give up, but it just feels so hard and impossible right now.

No. 267220

Why is it SO HARD to be a parent nowadays? EVERY fucking product/ parenting advice/ whatever will at the same time, murder your child while also murdering your kid if you don't get it. There's no right from wrong anymore, one doctor will say your kid NEEDs this thing and then the next is ready to call CPS on you if you give them said product

That's not all, milestones are so weird and insanely high, you get stink eyes if you question why they need a ton of vaccines before their first birthday (I'm not antivax but there's no doubt adding this amount of vaccines for things they won't even be exposed to is ridiculous) baby products are insanely expensive and some strollers are in the literal thousands like wtf you're expected to be on your ass paranoid 24/7, expected to have a job while also raising your kids, making mom friends is now harder than it's ever been thanks to societal standards and the fact everyone's just become too freaking lazy to socialize, can't go out to places that are kid friendly since everyone thinks you're mommy fucking dearest if your baby cries for a single minute before taking care of it. My baby isn't even here yet and I'm already stressing over the fact that it seems like so many products and stuff are like "you MUST buy this… Jk it will kill your kid" medicines, dock a tot, diaper pails, etc just to name a few

No. 267222

>>267220
I don’t have children yet myself but you put all my fears into words. I’m not ready for the 21st century “mommy culture”, I definitely resonate with being concerned over how you can get two (if not more) totally different answers on seemingly simple questions, and people going to extreme lengths to moralize THEIR answer. I have pets and already see this in pet-culture, I imagine it’s 100x worse with babies/kids.

No. 267226

>>267220
I think it depends a lot on where you live. I would encourage anyone to get out of the big cites if you can. People in the cities are genuinely neurotic and mentally ill nowadays, especially in academic environments. If you want to meet normal people you gotta go to smaller towns where all the insanity hasn't quite caught up with them yet (and hopefully never will).

No. 267227

>>267220
Samefag to add that you should get off social media. I have honestly not heard much about any of this but I also don't browse instagram or TikTok, I assume that's where most of this insanity comes from.

No. 267236

>>267222
there's a childless thread already. don't be insensitive especially when someone is asking for advice.

No. 267249

>>267236
Sorry I didn’t mean to be insensitive, I just wanted to share that I thought that was a really well worded post. I plan on having children after I get married next year and I’ve had a lot of the same thoughts that she wrote about.

No. 267263

>>267226
I lived in small rural areas all my life and moved to a smallish suburb and it's exactly like this

No. 267274

>>267220
Deep breathes Noni. Babies are more durable then you would believe. They’re built to survive for the most part. If your a burgerfag avoid formula and premade baby food just given the recent FDA scandals. I bought a food steamer and blender from a womens only company and just made my own. It was ten out ten a good decision. Just threw it in my own little jars and I’m the fridge.
Focus on climbing and sensory. Stay away from screen time other than 1-3 hours a day even if it’s educational there’s concerning studies on that and remember to keep yourself high nutrients most of that babies heath outcomes come from you right now. Like their teeth quality and density.
Parenting culture is shit. I would avoid it I’m sorry. People think it’s insane I take my kiddo outside every day like we didn’t do that kids ourselves?

No. 267286

>>267274
That's what my dad did when he raised me! He'd cook my baby food himself (he was a chef).
>>267220
You should read up on how parents raised kids in medieval and Renaissance times. Kids are REALLY easily entertained. As for products, I doubt you'd need even half of what is touted towards parents nowadays. You can probably find most of it second-hand and still in good condition. Children have been living and playing in dirt and grass and whatnot for thousands of years.

No. 267561

>>267236
oh fuck off, you're not allowed to have a take on this even when you're agreeing? You're literally just as neurotic.

No. 267562

>>267220
Just do only what your instinct tells you. Let your kids be in the woods often and try to not give them too many of things that didn't exist 100 years ago and you'll be fine.

No. 267613

Anyone here had IVF? I fear its going to happen to me when I decide to go for a baby and honestly I'm scared. It also feels so medical and unnatural to me in a sense which is awful to say I know. Can IVF be prevented?

No. 267626

>>267613
Uh, what exactly do you mean? It's not a medical condition or something to be prevented, it's something you choose to do.

No. 267629

>>267613
Just don't get it then?

No. 267662

>>267629
>>267626
isn't it the option people take when they can't conceive naturally? im just worried if I will have to take this option.

No. 267663

>>267662
You could get a fertility test, otherwise it's just a matter of the age you start trying

No. 267670

>>267613
Unless you're already 35+ and not planning on trying anytime soon I wouldn't worry about it

No. 267752

is anyone else overdue? I'm literally only 3 days past my due date and get daily texts from at least 10+ people on baby watch. I'm not even mad I'm overdue I just feel rushed and like I'm not "trying hard enough" to put myself in labor. People were talking about induction literally days BEFORE my due date. How do I deal with impatience ?

No. 267768

>>267752
My kid was born a week late and don’t feel bad anon, just means they like it up in there and also gives you more time to nes

No. 267774

>>267752
Honestly nonna tell those baby watchers to sod off. Eat some dates and have some raspberry leaf tea, but don't stress yourself out about 'not doing enough to start labour'. Baby comes when it's ready and depending on the length of your cycle that could easily be at 42+ weeks.

No. 267804

>>267752
>daily texts from at least 10+ people on baby watch
How do you handle this? I'm in second trimester only and I have a MIL that was already nosy before but she asks constantly about when the next doctors appointments are, what happened in them etc. She got "fake upset" that I didn't tell her immediately when I felt the movements. As a super private person and serial ghoster and this only increasing as the baby gets bigger I'm really not looking forward to this, might throw phone just away for some days really

No. 267807

I really want to give birth naturally but I am so terrified of what to expect. I have a pretty average pain tolerance and I don't have a super strong mindset like other natural hardcore mommies. I don't know how to gain confidence that I can do it.

No. 267818

>>267804
Tbh I just don't respond or give brief and short responses to closer people. I feel like most people understand I'm heavily pregnant and don't feel like talking to them

My MIL is a headache and was like that at the beginning of my pregnancy too, very controlling, telling us to get new doctors when doctors didn't preach "what she knows" (ex: she said doctors were quacks if they told me not to eat deli meat or put stuffed animals in the crib), went as far as cursing out my husband because we would update others but not her first kek even tried to make the pregnancy announcement herself. She's no contact now for other reasons but definitely see it as a warning, toxic MILs who will make your pregnancy about themselves will add unnecessary stress and no one needs that

No. 267838

I'm on a similar boat to another anon. I want to give birth naturally, but partner is absolutely set against it and is afraid for me. I want to ask my grandmother's congregation to help me, but I'm not on good terms with her as of the moment. She doesn't even know. I couldn't tell her since I'm unmarried, but it's not for lack of want from my partner, we'd just get better government benefits by remaining "single." Partially, this is what our falling out was over, her commentary on children of members of her church doing the same. She lives in la-la land and thinks $9 for her telephone line each month is expensive. Never worked a day in her life, stay-at-home mom of one whom she raised poorly. Lives off of social security in a paid-off home. Her husband literally took care of everything.

No. 267841

>>267838
It's not the most pleasant feeling in the world, but being able to walk immediately afterwards is a bonus. The IV pain meds don't do anything, or at least tgey don't do shit for you if you have back labor. If you have back labor, just pray that everything goes quickly. Red raspberry leaf tea the last couple of weeks before you're due.

No. 267843

>>267807
I feel the same. I used to be in the camp "Just give me everything you got, doc" until I actually read up about the pros and cons of medicated vs natural birth and just the fact that tearing is so much more likely and severe when having an epidural vs natural birth really makes me want to give natural birth a try. Plus you have to get a catheter (infection risk) and can't move around at all with an epidural, duh because you are basically paralyzed. They also say once you had one intervention, more are to follow, it's like a spiral. I just want to be able to move around and feel my body during the process. If the pain is too much you can still get an epidural.

I just keep telling myself that women have been doing this for thousands of years and you will barely remember the pain because of the rush of hormones, you just gotta get through it somehow.

No. 267850

>>267843
Ahah, no. Cut off point for an epidural is 7cm dilated. Gravity is your god. Do not lay back during birth. Do stretching exercises around the opening for a few weeks or so before the birth to keep everything pliable.

No. 267876

>>267850
I know that you can't get an epidural anymore towards the end, but you can try going through the contractions natural at first and see how you feel and if you can't stand it you can still get an epidural, most women are in labor for a couple of hours and not immediately dilated 7cm.

How do you stretch for birth?

No. 267886

To drop my own experience with natural birth here: Does it hurt? Yes. Was it the be all end all of pain? No. I think various circumstances can play into making it worse (baby’s position, your position, the length of the birth itself, etc), but in my case it definitely was not the worst pain I’ve ever felt. I’ve had worse ovarian cysts. I do want to mention that I had a water birth though. I feel like if I had went through the same experience, but lying on my back with my legs in the air, it would’ve been so much worse. I was allowed to move around and change positions, and even help catch my baby when they came out. Natural births are the norm in my country, and epidurals are exceedingly rare. Leading up to the birth I just reminded myself that women here, and in many parts of the world, are giving birth naturally every day and living to tell the tale (and then do it again!)

I absolutely got the impression from birth information in English that I was insane and would “definitely regret” not getting pain killers though. It made me think twice, but I’m ultimately glad I didn’t pay the out of pocket $1000 usd equivalent for an epidural.

No. 267904

I really hope this doesn't spark any off topic arguments but do any milk donors know why some places don't accept milk from vaccinated moms? I'm a milk donor and it seems like banks and people on FB always request unvaccinated. I also had COVID during pregnancy would that affect it too?

No. 267906

>>267843
Jumping in to say I did a natural water birth and it was probably the most intense experience of my life. I would absolutely do it again that way if I changed my mind and wanted another child. The risks of epidurals and outcomes is part of what originally led me to the months of reading that formed my decision, but I found the German mothers of woe really interesting for some history!

No. 267907

>>267904
Because the antibodies from you can pass through the milk and the vaccine isn’t approved and most likely won’t be by the FDA (assuming you’re in burgerland). You’re an unknown risk so to be safe some places just dismiss you off the bat.

No. 267910

>>267907
Ah gotcha, would it still be safe to donate/feed if I had covid during pregnancy? I know some people on Facebook specifically look for moms who had breast milk while sick for antibodies

No. 267919

>>267907
The red cross also doesn't accept blood donations from people who have been vaccinated to use in treatment of covid patients. They are especially looking for people who have natural antibodies and are unvaxed. Really makes you think.

No. 267924

>>267919
It's bizarre since mom groups and other places will bully the fuck out of the unvaccinated but then beg us for our milk as if we were just walking tits or something

No. 268015

>>267906
I really wish I could have a water birth but nowhere near me offers such an experience. Maybe with my next baby I'll just pop them out in my bathtub, but I am too anxious to not have my first in a hospital.

No. 268094

>>268015
Does your hospital offer a birthing ball? A nice cushy shower mat to sit on in the shower before you go while you’re still in early labor for normally at least a few hours is also stuff I’d recommend that was very helpful and felt good.

No. 268155

Is being in your early 30s too old to start trying?

No. 268206

>>268155
No, around 30 is where most women start to have their first baby nowadays.

No. 268265

>>267904
>>267919
Kek. Feels good to be a pureblood.

No. 268266

>>267807
I think the epidural is bad because it might affect the baby and also I don't agree with inducing the dilation either - it makes sense for the hospital and for you to not wait so long but maybe view the birth like the rise of the sun. That naturally, there is no way to block/halt it and also no way to speed it up. Just be patient and calm and relaxed. Mothers have brought children into the world for hundreds of thousands of years, just be calm and let it happen.

No. 268332

>>268155
No, it's the best age. You are usually more financially stable, in a better job/career and are married.

No. 268335

>>266995
That's super sweet anon. Wishing nothing but happiness and health for you and your new baby.

No. 268659

>>268266
I'm getting induced Thursday and it feels like NOTHING is working for natural induction. Raspberry tea, walking miles a day, swinging, pineapple, etc. Not even bothering to dilate me or soften my cervix

Although I did try the German labor cocktail and it DID help. I tried it last week and woke up with contractions and with the baby in the much lower position, I tried it again a few days ago and lost my mucus plug that morning. My body doesn't react to laxatives so I didn't poop/have nausea, barely any bad contractions. I definitely wanna try it again but I'm scared since so many people are saying castor oil is the devil. I also feel like if I'm not reacting badly to castor oil it should be fine? What do you anons think

No. 268701

>>268659
I think you could easily swap out the castor oil for coconut oil in that cocktail, all the best I hope it goes well

No. 268703

>>268659
How many weeks are you? It doesn't hurt to wait until 41 weeks and some days unless you have a high risk pregnancy. Unfortunately, most of the time baby just comes when baby wants to. If the concoctions are working for you, I would try it again, but please keep track of your baby's movements. Sometimes inducing with potions like that stresses the baby out. Wish you luck!

No. 268725

I am having my gestational diabetes test tomorrow and I am scared. I am not overweight and I eat very healthy, almost never eat any sugary treats, tons of fiber and veggies, but I have been craving fruit so bad my entire pregnancy and maybe I eat too much fruit. I also am very thirsty and have to pee all the time, but those are also pregnancy symptoms.. I am predisposed to GD because I have PCOS. I know you can get it despite doing everything right and perfect if you are just unlucky but I would feel like such a failure and bad mom if I got it.

No. 268729

>>268703
I'm 41+2 currently. Technically high risk risk due to other factors and it was actually recommended that I get induced at 40 weeks on the dot. I'll definitely try coconut oil or low amounts of castor. Thanks anons

No. 268941

>>268729
Supposedly you can use evening primrose oil caps intravaginally. Keep up with the red raspberry leaf tea, it'll speed up post partum. Ask them to strip your membranes

No. 268944

>>268725
If you're predisposed and have done what you can there's no reason to feel like a bad mom about it. Shit happens that we can't control

No. 269250

File: 1654795030669.gif (25.84 KB, 220x292, cat-cats.gif)

>>268944
Just got my results back and I don't have gestational diabetes!

I am so glad my hard work eating healthy is paying off, I don't even have iron deficiency, so happy right now! This is such a weight off my chest.

No. 269255

>>269250
Congrats, nonny! Happy for you!

No. 269265

Have any of you dealt with gender disappointment? I currently don't have children and don't plan on having them until a few years. The problem is that I have planned out every little thing about my life from where I want settle down to the type of car I want to own, I mean it's a lot of stuff I've been thinking about. I plan on having boy/girl/boy and that being ruined by things I can't control makes me feel anxious. I know many of you are going to say something like "you should be grateful that your kid came out healthy" I know I will but there are some things you can't help feeling upset over. I just don't know anymore

No. 269275

>>269265
I'm gonna be honest, I wanted a boy for my first child but I am having a girl and I was a little bit disappointed at first. Not even cause I don't want a girl at all, I totally do, but I wanted to have an older brother for my younger kids just because I always dreamed of having an older brother to protect me (I am an only child). Now I have no idea how the dynamic with an older sister will be. I also had some cringe thoughts about wanting to give my husband a son etc, cause I know that a lot of men wish for a son.

BUT my husband is actually so excited to have a little girl, he was telling me from the day I told him that I was pregnant that he knew it was a girl, he could totally feel the girl energy and he was so smug about it when it turned out to actually be a girl (I bet on boy just based off old wife tales). I think he is super happy to have a little girl that will look up to him and be his princess, so now I can't wait to see him hold our little girl and be all adorable with her, I was a daddy's girl when I was a child and have a good relationship with my dad, so I hope they will be the same. I also started to watch some mommy vloggers who have baby girls and they are all so precious and adorable and honestly, girl clothes are WAAAAY cuter and I get to play Barbies with her again and kind of re-live my childhood a bit, etc.

I still hope to have a boy too, but I think next time I won't be disappointed if it's a girl again cause I plan to have them close together and if it's another girl they can be best friends and share a room. Whatever you end up getting, there really is no negative outcome really and you will be happy about it cause it's your baby and you just love them so much.

No. 269281

>>269265
There’s lot of things you can’t control in life. If it’s only baby’s gender then you’ll probably get over it but there’s countless other things that you can’t control. I suggest that you work with your control issues in general. It’s not a healthy mindset, especially if you have kids

No. 269314

>>269275
I'm an older sister who protected her little brother from bullies many times. Older siblings look out for their younger siblings no matter what. I'm happy for you and your husband, I wish you all the best!

No. 269396

>>269265
I was so scared to have a boy in the beginning of my pregnancy (thankfully little one is a girl). I'm not sure if it was hormones, but before I found out I would cry about having to raise a son and how disturbing puberty would be. I know a lot of people say it shouldn't matter but I think it's natural to want one gender over another. I was talking to my mother about it the other day and she said the same line about the baby just needs to be healthy, which is true, but just let me vent about it and tell you about my idealized dreams!

No. 269401

>>269314
> Older siblings look out for their younger siblings no matter what
cringe. many older sibs are jealous bullies, it really depends.

No. 269402

>>269396
I'm sorry but that's not normal and you sound psycho tbh

No. 269403

>>269265
I want a moid kid so I can brainwash him

No. 269406

>>269275
Older brothers just molest and pick on the younger siblings ime so a sister is better

No. 269408

>>269403
Tbh? I lowkey feel the same way. I always wanted a boy more than a girl, but I want to have at least both… potentially at least a couple of both.
I want my girls to be very strong, low tolerance for bullshit, independent little feminists, and honestly it makes my heart warm to think about my little boys being weak willed and needy momma's boys who have separation anxiety. Of course that's not healthy, but I'd rather have a sweet harmless loving little moid than a typical moid that hates and beats women.

No. 269411

>>269403
>>269408
You two are fucked up. Seek help

No. 269412

>>269408
Unfortunately you sound psychotic which is probably a sign that any child you have, but male especially, will end up being weird and psychotic as well

No. 269414

>>269412
Imagine being her child lmao. Who the fuck would ever want a creepy ass woman who gets off on her kids being "needy momma's babies" as a mother. I don't know what's worse, thinking coddling a moid child will prevent them from being influenced by society and growing into adult moids, or even treating a moid child like that in the first place. Like no matter if it's moid or not, no child deserves to be made weak-willed just because their mom fears what they might become if they aren't intentionally emotionally crippled.

No. 269416

>>269408
>>269403
What the fuck? I feel like these are the type of parents who develop emotionally incestous relationships with their kids.

No. 269449

>>269402
This is a typical response most people have to the idea that a specific gender can be preferred and it's just unrealistic. It is normal to be uneasy or "fearful" of raising the opposite sex, especially as someone who never grew up with any exposure to males and their development in our society. Even if I had a son, it doesn't mean I would not love and care for him as much as a daughter. Why is it psycho to admit that raising a male is somewhat daunting to me?

No. 269451

>>269408
You know Ed Gein was a momma's boy, right? You're gonna raise a fucking serial killer.

No. 269454

>>269449
It's not, that anon is just weird. It's not like you are the other anon who wants to groom her little boy into being fucked up. I want a boy, but I am still scared of having a son who goes through puberty because I'd be scared he would become a coomer and I'd have to have embarrassing talks with him about leaving cum-socks around or whatever, but then I just think "I will make my husband deal with that", just like I will be the one teaching my girls about their periods and feminine hygiene etc.

No. 269457

>>269408
>little boys being weak willed and needy momma's boys who have separation anxiety. Of course that's not healthy, but I'd rather have a sweet harmless loving little moid than a typical moid that hates and beats women.

Yeah he is gonna grow up to hate and beat women. All men raised like that resents and hate their mother and men can't separate the feeling they have for their mom from other women. He is gonna be incel as hell. The stronger and toughed a man is raised to be, the less likely it is that he turn out bad. Men need to feel strong and secure not to lash out and harm those physically weaker than them. He will also never have a fulfilling relationship in the future bc he will never dare put his foot down to you and cut the umbilical cord, and his relationship will be a triad of him, his wife and you, which no woman wants. This is some jocasta shit.

No. 269464

>>269406
I wouldn't wish being the eldest daughter in an ethnic household on my worst enemy kek

No. 269470

>>269464
Weird assumption to make, we are white.

No. 269512

>>269470
We? Uhh okay…also I was referring to myself

No. 269513

>>269512
sage ur shit please

No. 269515

>>269513
How about you tongue my anus(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 269516

>>269408
>>269403
please never have kids

No. 269529

>>269408
Nah you should coddle your daughters and bully your sons. The day your sons end up beating and raping women, get ready to disown them like the lil'mistake they are.

No. 269532

>>269529
Yeah because that's not gonna make your son hate women lmao. None of you should be parents

No. 269536

>>269532
Your son is just gonna turn into one of the moids we all hate so much here regardless so might as well set up a hierarchy in which he can't and won't win.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 269540

>>269536
Alright see how well that works out when he turns 14 and suddenly towers over you, you deserve to get bullied right back(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 269545

>>269540
I love how momchans are fine with violence against women as long as a son does it.

No. 269554

File: 1654884184482.png (261.25 KB, 500x369, tumblr_n3ub6neQoD1r7ksqyo1_500…)

>>269265
I'm a girl mom and I love it, even though I had every "boy" old wives tale in the book. No one was really disappointed except my mom but she's kooky anyway. I hope to have only girls in the future

No. 269556

>>269545
Stop derailing the baby-thread you fucking /r/childfree femcel freaks. This is not the thread to take out your manhate. Go away.

No. 269562

>>269556
Ignore them and report. It’s bait. Not real Noni. Take a deep breathe.

No. 269564

>>269556
>>269562
>femcel
Another reason to not take you seriously.

No. 269565

>>269562
nta but how was that other post bait while >>269540 isn't?

No. 269567

>>269545
I'm not even a mom and I never said I was ok with that, I said if she bullies her child she deserves to get bullied back because bullies always deserve to get a taste of their own medicine. It's funny you think bullying a child is okay just because it's a moid??

No. 269568

>>269556
They're so fucking weird

No. 269591

File: 1654891142869.png (316.26 KB, 468x468, 9CA96028-5709-4BD6-8FBE-7ED2DE…)

>>269565
The point is it all is. Report ignore and post what you want to talk about.

No. 269671

>>269564
You are femcels tho. You will never have a husband, let alone kids so why do you bother to make up these weird fantasies about what you would do if you ever had a boy child and how you would abuse him? Just hide this thread if it triggers you so much and leave the reproductive, functional people alone.

No. 269674

File: 1654941273296.jpg (55.64 KB, 355x570, ImageHandler.jpg)

I'm only 10 weeks pregnant so I'm definitely getting carried away with ideas about the future - but I wonder what you guys think.

Do you think you should permit children access to technology and social media and the internet in general? and how much? I tried to have this conversation with my boyfriend, but it was difficult, and I'm surprised how passionate we both felt about this issue.

I feel like we should let our children use things like computers, phones, tablets, video games etc. I know that there is an idea that we are too saturated by technology and media entertainment and that we should be abstaining more from this sort of thing in our lives - and I actually agree with that more than most people - but the thing is, there is so much of what our culture is at the moment that is stored almost exclusively on the internet. If you don't have access to a phone or a computer, you are basically not a part of society in the same way as other people are. It sounds superficial now that I write it out like this, the words were coming to me much better last night. But what I mean is that it's a new world, we live in the future, we do things on the internet now, for better or worse it's a part of our lives and we are in the world with it.

My boyfriend takes a very hardline approach to the idea - basically in his mind technology is poison and kids shouldn't be using it. Again, basically I agree ! I know what he's thinking - ESPECIALLY when you consider porn and all that shit. But I think of our child going to school and there being like 80% of what they're talking about that they don't know about, totally coming from an isolated space. There is I am sure something valuable to that as well and who I am to say that it would not be worth it in the end, but I can't help but feel like if you are the sort of parent who deprives your child of access to technology, well then you are kind of a luddite and its more rooted in your own ideas of phone usage and other stuff.

No. 269683

>>269674
The sad truth is that if you don't let your children access technology themselves, they will probably do it with their friends when you aren't around to supervise. That's what I and every other kid with restrictive or tech-illiterate parents did in my town and it's unavoidable unless every play date happens at your house.

It's also alienating being the only one in class who doesn't get cultural references and those children ime either harness their cluelessness to pursue their own hobbies or fall really hard into catching up on all the media they missed. I think it's better to teach kids how to have healthy, age-appropriate relationships with technology and cultivate a reputation as a "cool" parent who children can come to with tech woes. Better they feel they can confide in you without fearing anger or punishment because the last thing you want is your child talking to strangers online and hiding it from you.

No. 269690

>>269674
I agree with your boyfriend. Our kids will not have phones/tablets or access to a computer until they are teenagers and then it will only be in a controlled space like a family computer in the living room. We will not show them any media made after 2010 cause it's all crap, we will keep a harddrive of movies and tv-shows that we have vetted for them to watch. Mostly stuff we watched as kids. My kids will play outside in the garden and ride bikes and swim in the pool, like I did as a child. Child appropriate activities and playing with toys that will nurture their development, not play "Elsa pimple popper" on the tablet.

I don't give a single fuck it "everyone is on Tiktok and if you aren't then you're uncool", I will teach my kids that those things don't matter and that people who spend their days on social media watching Tiktok dances are retards and you should be glad to not be brainwashed like them. We also plan to homeschool or microschool with neighboring families who think like us.

There is no way I will ever let my kids be groomed by social media and big corporations and taught that if they like barbies as a boy they are actually girls and that becoming an OnlyFans whore is a valuable career. I know they will probably have friends that will have phones and show them shit on it, but my kids will be educated enough to deal with that and confident enough to not be sheep like them.

No. 269691

>>269683
>That's what I and every other kid with restrictive or tech-illiterate parents did
But you are not tech illiterate. You have the benefit of knowing what goes on on the internet, our parents didn't. If you still let your kids grow up with unlimited smartphone access despite that then you are retarded.

No. 269706

>>269690
Wait, so do you already have kids or is this just what you're planning for hypothetical kids? Because… yeah, good luck.

No. 269708

File: 1654950442725.jpg (103.76 KB, 920x616, shitty_parenting.jpg)

>>269706
Thanks. Good luck with your kids too, I'm sure they will turn out great being raised by TikTok and Youtube.

No. 269714

>>269690
Good luck anon, because pre teens and teens are rational human beings who will definitely understand your reasoning and will be glad to be excluded from their peers to not be brainwashed. There's no "being educated enough" for kids to understand the implications of social media etc, their brains just don't work that way and won't until their in their mid 20s. It'll be your responsibility to limit and supervise their access, but they will only resent you for being isolated from what their friends have access to. And they will most definitely just go and access social media etc via their friends. Then again if you're going for homeschooling you're dooming them to social isolation anyway and they'll struggle to be fully functional human beings later in life.

No. 269716

>>269708
Who is saying anything about that? It's telling that you didn't answer my question. I'm just saying that in your fantasy, your children seem to have no will of their own, which isn't how raising kids works in reality.

No. 269728

>>269708
What does being a tranny have to do with YouTube being dangerous, besides the fact that this tif is also chronically online and probably gave her kid a learning disability by using tranny drugs while pregnant

No. 269730

>>269728
FTM stands for "first time mom"

>>269714
Maybe you should have read my comment a little better then because I said "until they are teenagers". I fully intend to educate them about the internet when they are old enough to understand it, but I will still have safe-guard measures in place to protect them. You also missed or ignored the part where I said we intend to micro-school them with neighboring kids, which means they will have plenty of friends and will not be isolated. You can send your kids to public school where they will be educated to be LGBTQIP+ and HIV+ by their quirky genderqueer teachers who are allowed to get them access to HRT without your knowledge if you want, as long as they are not seen as uncool by their peers for not knowing the latest TikTok dance, that's all that matters, right?

No. 269731

>>269728
it honestly has everything to do with them. join any public discord server about even the most benign thing and youll see trannies grooming kids in every channel. youtube is full of them trying to convince kids to become trans. it honestly goes pretty deep with the link between puperty blockers and pedophilia too but im not trying to shizopost too much. but yea. male trannies are behind a lot of the grooming and cp distribution on youtube, tiktok and discord. i dont blame anons when they say that their child will have zero internet access

No. 269736

kaitlyn tiffany really did a number on this thread…

No. 269738

>>269691
I see you completely missed the part where I wrote "restrictive" despite greentexting it. There were plenty of parents who knew what occurred on the internet and kept their children from accessing it. Those kids just went over to friend's houses with parents who were lax with the home computer and engaged with dangerous things on the internet anyway. The strictness of those parents only ensured that the children did not tell their parents what they encountered online. I sure didn't and I'd much rather my kids feel like they can come to me with questions when they're old enough to not need constant tech supervision.
But great way to read "teach kids how to have healthy, age-appropriate relationships with technology" as "let them grow up with unlimited smartphone access". It's almost like there's a difference between showing a child how to use your phone and letting them use it supervised for twenty minutes and slapping a phone into their tiny hands and leaving them alone with it for hours.

No. 269740

>>269671
>he still uses femcel unironically
Moid detected. YWNBARW. You can't give birth and you have no business to do in the mom thread.

No. 269754

>>269708
Mom's in the general tinfoil thread were talking about this as well

No. 269767

>>269730
>you can send your kids to public school where they will be educated to be LGBTQIP+ and HIV+ by their quirky genderqueer teachers who are allowed to get them access to HRT without your knowledge if you want
Calm down with the tinfoil, also most people just don't have the time and money to do homeschooling, why are homeschooling parents so condescending about it?

No. 269771

>>269767
It can also have negative social and intellectual affects if you don't do it right.

No. 269772

>>269767
Its not tinfoil if it happens

No. 269774

>>269772
It happens but definitely not in every single public school, I love the troon threads here but they are kinda fear mongering.

No. 269779

>>269771
Samefag, I don't think restricting certain things is bad but also I think being too controlling about what they can and cannot do or think is how you end up with rebellious kids who do things behind your back because they want to experience the things their peers are. Not about that other anon specifically, this is just general stuff. If I ever have children I would restrict their internet access too, to a certain extent.

Basically, I just don't think either extremes when it comes to technology use are good. I wouldn't let my kids be on a phone/computer all day and I also wouldn't completely forbid it. Everything in moderation. Sorry if you saw how many times I reposted this lol.

No. 269782

>>269690
Omfg your poor kids

No. 269784

>>269774
If you live in any major city in the US or in liberal areas like California and you send your kids to public school then you can bet you they will talk to your kids about "gender identity" without your consent and if your kid shows any sign of being non-conforming they will send them to a counselor to help them "transition" behind your back and there will be at least one kid in their class that is being trooned out by their parents. Something like 30% of kids nowadays identify as queer, do you think that's accurate? No, they are being mass-groomed by teachers. The US is a fucking hellhole and the only way to escape the system is to homeschool or microschool together with other parents in your neighborhood.

No. 269785

As someone who was homeschooled and never went to any form of primary education all of these anons are gonna have socially retarded kids who can't relate to any of their peers because they didn't watch or do anything they did growing up so as adults they have no friends and just go to work and rot in their house 24/7

No. 269787

>>269785
Don't wanna seem like I'm projecting, but I had a similar experience to yours and completely agree. So many things that can go wrong and stunt a child.

No. 269788

>>269785
>>269787
I went to public school and still had (and still have) all of those problems tbh.

No. 269790

>>269787
Samefag, but I also remember hearing a couple of times about kids being socially stunted because of the virtual schooling they had to do in 2020. That was only a couple of months.
>>269788
Not saying it can't happen in you're in public school, but I think it's more common for kids who were homeschooled.

No. 269791

>>269785
>>269787
Yeah there's a reason why homeschooling is mostly associated with fundies, tinfoilers and cringy right-wing/lolbertarian types of people, and teaching is a job you learn after all, not everybody I'd fit to be an instructor. Also I would have offed myself if I had to spend my entire day with my mom in my pre/teenage years, I don't think spending every waking moment with your parents and their friends is healthy either.

No. 269792

>>269784
I'm already seeing this with my little sister who is attending the same high school I went too. The school was pretty decent but after a few years it hit the wall. Other kids were exposing her to BDSM and shit, like half of her friend group was in some sort of "alternative" relationship like poly, dom and sub, etc. they removed the vast majority of clubs and extracurriculars and kids don't do anything now outside of talk to people online and play Fortnite. Kids are being taught that mental health is basically an excuse to be a shit bag and so on.

No. 269795

>>269690
Your child is going to grow up to be a socially retarded outcast. This will do nothing but cause them to rebel in the form of drug/alcohol abuse, smoking and vaping, promiscuity etc. The more you place unreasonable restrictions, the more they're going to hate your guts.

No. 269796

Well this is a happy and wholesome thread /s

No. 269798

>>269690
as someone with parents who had a similar approach to yours: good fucking luck kek

No. 269799

>>269795
Sure. And your child will learn how to hide under a table in case of an active shooter.

No. 269800

>>269799
do you… do you not want your kids to do that? do you want them to go hug the active shooter?

No. 269801

>>269798
This. Restricting technology is normal but refusing any modern media outside of a select bunch is too much and it will make it harder to socialize

No. 269802

>>269785
>>269791
Sorry your parents failed you, but do you even know what microschooling is? It's not just you and your kids sitting at home 24/7. It's literally going back to the "it takes a village" mentality of raising kids. One parent teaches math class, one parent teaches english, one parent teaches geography etc. depending on their field of expertise. you get together parents and kids from your local neighborhood and homeschool the kids together. That way each child gets socialized as well as special attention from the teacher that they need, something that you will NEVER get in a group of 30 kids. In most public schools teachers have too many kids to teach and they get left behind, that is not even considering the fucking awful grooming and pushing of agendas against the parents consent that is currently going on and will only get worse.

I can't blame those with antiquated views of homeschooling ITT, I used to think the same things, but there are absolutely ways to keep your kids out of public schools without socially isolating them from their peers. I don't know how you can live in the US and still think the public school system is in any way functional. Plus kids now have to be afraid to get shot by the fuck-ups who slip to the cracks.

No. 269803

>>269800
maybe in your case do send your kids to public school, you seem to be too retarded to even follow a conversation

No. 269804

>>269799
School isn't the only place shooters hang out, you know? You have a chance of getting shot and killed whether it be while grocery shopping, at the cinema, or simply walking down the street. Welcome to the united states

No. 269806

>>269802
Sounds like a cult and parents trying their best to bullshit their way through a subject by reading a ton of Wikipedia articles aren't the same as teachers who were trained to teach that subject

No. 269808

>>269802
>implying children can't get groomed or indoctrinated in this kind of group either
Again most people can't do it, when both parents work it's impossible to teach your child like at school, let alone a bunch of kids that you don't know.

No. 269809

Europe honestly feels like the only place where you can raise your kid to not become a social retard. Just settle when you have some money and make sure they don't frequent Islamists / woketards in general.

No. 269814

>>269809
Are you kidding? Wokeshit in Europe is even worse lmao. They're much more accepting of trannies and prostitution than the US is

No. 269815

>>269806
>teachers who were trained to teach that subject
lmao, have you been to a school in the US?

No. 269817

>>269814
>>269809
where exactly in Europe? because I can guarantee that few people in my European country tolerate that shit. Prostitution maybe among coomer scrotes and pick-mes, but trannies absolutely not. Then again, we don't really have Islamists here either. For now corruption is way more of a concern here than wokeshit The EU might try sticking its nose so there will probably be more and more attempts at shoving wokeshit in everyone's faces, but normies here will definitely not buy it, we are already distrustful enough of all our politicians.

No. 269819

>>269817
Germany, France, Netherlands, Belgium etc. are very prostitution-friendly and Germany and France in particular are extremely tranny-friendly. But I could see an eastern European country not being the same way

No. 269820

>>269814
>>269817
>>269819
I had the feeling France would repress tranny shit further but I guess not. Hoping my kids won't turn autistic. Not only special needs is a pain but detrooning them is gonna be hard.

No. 269822

>>269819
Actually considering all the "macho" type misogyny in our country I can see the legalization of prostitution happening, honestly, unless the Church is vocal enough in its opposition, but it's been taken less and less seriously over time. But trannies? Nah, that will never happen. Our national identification numbers have the first digit indicate sex, which is also why it's really difficult to get your legal gender changed here since you'll also have to get a new identification number if approved. If the EU will at some point want us to change this to make it easier for the trannies it would surely cause a massive uproar.

No. 269824

>>269814
Yeah, in Sweden they have books on sex positions in kindergartens. Here in Norway lgbt health centres are illegally giving hrt prescriptions to 15 year olds without their parenta knowledge

No. 269825

>>269824
>in Sweden they have books on sex positions in kindergartens
I need a source on that.
t.Swede

No. 269890

>>269824
See this is what terrifies me so much. What do you even do when they forcibly trans your child in school or indoctrinate it into some pro prostitution insanity? Fight back and they call you an abusive transphobe whorephobe homophobe enbyphobe queerphobe and you can get your child taken away

No. 269893

>>269890
You're not even allowed to homeschool in most European countries, I guess you just suffer.

No. 269958

File: 1655049518219.png (162.83 KB, 1803x410, 1574190196273-1.png)

>>269403
>>269408
I'm going to laugh my ass off when he turns into pic related and kills you and the other females in his family.

No. 269967

>>269958
His mother had an incestuous relationship with him. I get hugging but kissing at 14??? I feel most women who want sons super hard and keep him away from othet women are lowkey incestuous too. At the end, the boy will go mad and either hurt women or his mother. It's unhealthy for women to coddle their sons or treat them like bfs.

No. 269985

>>269890
No offense, but I feel like you're being a bit paranoid and need to get off the internet. I'd imagine it depends if you like in a super woke area where all the teachers are older zoomers or young millennials but most people aren't trying to teach toddlers about 'how empowering onlyfans is' ,aside from some minor cases where it gets published in the news

No. 269988

>>269408
Children aren't there to be your emotional crutch, they're their own independent humans with needs and desires, no matter if moid or not. You're both pieces of shit, this betterbe bait.

No. 269995

>>269799
Nonna you can't protect and shelter your kids from every slightly possible threat, you have to teach them how to deal with them, that's the whole point of parenting. You know it can get worse in the future and these school shooter incel types won't be limited to schools either. What are you going to do, lock them in your house forever? I sympathize with you wanting to keep them away from social media and political bullshit, but there has to be a balance.

No. 270003

>>269995
>until they are teenagers
Can none of you read?

No. 270050

File: 1655081803197.png (155.9 KB, 472x268, Screenshot_20220612-195507.png)

Does anyone have PTSD from elsagate?? I feel like I can't roam kids toys anymore without thinking of elsagate and feeling sick, I feel heavily restrictive towards every little game, toy or show my kids watch. I obviously don't let them have tablets or play games/watch shows I'm unfamiliar with or go on the internet unmonitored. I feel like I'm unable to watch Disney movies now without being hyper-aware of every little thing being part of the grooming scheme.

No. 270051

>>270050
You seem quite caring and sensitive. The world is definitely a messed up place and I always have it in the back of my mind when i see children’s toys. But it’s good that you’re aware, for your kid’s sake. We have to bear the burden of knowledge for the younger ones. Focus on the good, stay close to God.

No. 270061

>>270050
No, you sound overly worried. I understand wanting to protect what your kids watch, but Disney movies are pretty much all ok for them to watch, and toys are fine, just don't let them on social media or YouTube. It's important for kids to be made busy or else they'll get really bored and go on the internet.

No. 270067

Did anyone else experience a dark neck/armpits during pregnancy? I am pale so it makes me feel so self conscious. I tested negative for gestational diabetes so I don't think it's insulin resistance. I just want it to go away.

No. 270069

>>270050
I worked with elementary school children and saw what a personal ipad experience is like for children. I was horrified that elsagate-esque content is so abundant. All of the recommended videos on their YouTube kids apps were extremely disturbing, fetishy, seizure inducing, or very blatantly consumerist. The worst part is that the kids I work with mimic what they see and it spreads strange behavior amongst them. Pure brain rot.

No. 270070

File: 1655097060500.png (Spoiler Image,2.2 MB, 1496x868, 27g09.png)

>>270061
don't let them use those lolsurprise toys though

No. 270072

>>269708
I like how she's basically blaming the kid's "whining" for her absolute failure and lack of introducing the most simple discipline lol pathetic

No. 270075

>>270070
this looks like something my ex would jerk off to

No. 270080

>>270070
The tiny penis LMAO

No. 270082

File: 1655100380262.jpeg (277.06 KB, 828x701, 1138DA6E-BE8F-4856-B4E3-C78F78…)

Congrats to all you nonnas who are starting families and welcoming babies into the world, I’m on the complete other end of the spectrum where I have insane anxiety around the idea of being pregnant. Any time I engage in any remotely unprotected sex I feel so scared and embarrassed afterward. Four weeks ago a guy I was seeing fingered me on the last day of my period and even that was enough to set me off because he’d been jerking off ten minutes earlier and I was panicking about cross-contamination or something. It was enough to make me rush to the pharmacy after work and do a pregnancy test first thing when I got home. It came back negative, shockingly.
I’m so scared that I don’t even think going back on hormonal bc will help because I know it’s not 100% effective, and thanks to breaks and stealthing condoms alone are completely out of the question. My only answer is to avoid men, which I’ve been doing pretty successfully for the past year, but even then the idea of meeting someone and him getting me pregnant the first time we sleep together scares me so badly that I don’t even want to date. I literally had a nightmare last night about having a fling with some influencer who ended up getting me pregnant and instead of terminating he convinced me to keep it and used me and our kid as his perfect little family vlog content mill.
If any of you can offer any advice: before you wanted to get pregnant, did you have any feelings like this? How did you manage them? Can you recommend any good books/online resources for not being overcome with fear of getting pregnant? Sorry to bring the mood down I know this might not be the right place but idk where else to go.

No. 270086

>>270082
that sounds like anxiety/paranoia nonnie

No. 270089

>>270082
I used to be afraid of getting pregnant until I tried to get pregnant and realized that it's not as easy as people make it seem. It took us a while to get pregnant even though we were fucking unprotected every single day for literally 3 months. There are only 3-4 days out of your entire cycle that you are fertile and the chance that egg and sperm meet and their genetic material creates a viable baby is still only 30%. I also used to be super sloppy with my pill in the months before we started trying because we were pretty much already planning on having a baby soon, but nothing ever happened despite me often missing 2 or 3 days in a row.

This isn't to say that accidents don't happen, but they are a lot lot lot lot more rare than we are made to believe. Looking back I can't believe I took the morning-after pill in the past that made me suicidal for two weeks when there was barely any chance of me getting pregnant then. The chances of you getting pregnant from fingering, even if there was some cum on his fingers are very slim. The semen need to be ejaculated into your uterus or else they don't reach the egg, they need to come out at full force to make the journey. They also die super fast outside of the body.

No. 270090

>>270089
samefag to add that there is also no egg present to be fertilized on the last day of your period

No. 270102

Am I the only one who feels they actually look better vaginally/facially/body wise postpartum? Idk how to explain it but everything just looks better to me despite me looking almost exactly the same pre-pregnancy just with larger breasts and stretch marks. I definitely like how my vulva looks better than before too, it feels like the stitching from tearing got rid of the creases I had in my labia

No. 270117

>>270090
I'm honestly surprised at the amount of fucking it takes when simply targetting the right period could be easy, unless youa ctually love catching stds before getting the baby there. I simply can't comprehend how you're willing to take cock everyday.

No. 270119

>>270117
Catching STDS? From my husband? Are you projecting some sort of weird issue on me or something? Yeah I like to have sex, not just for the purpose of recreation. Nobody forces you to do the same. Idk why the fuck you can't stay out of this thread and have to insert your manhate absolutely everywhere.

No. 270120

>>270119
Relax, I'm just asking since we don't know if he's cheating on you, which statistically multiplies the chances to catch the bug without you even knowing it.

No. 270122

>>270120
You are implying that my husband is cheating on me with zero context because you're trying to pick a fight or you're a schizophrenic manhater. You literally come into this thread seething and trying to pick a fight.. why exactly? Cause other people are having relationships and babies and living happy normal lives? That must really chap your bitter ass.

No. 270126

>>270122
Because cheating on women is a moid's specialty afaik. Also
>Cause other people are having relationships and babies and living happy normal lives? That must really chap your bitter ass.
See you in 3-5 months at your divorce and how you can no longer stand Jordan screaming in the living room.

No. 270127

>>270082
I've generally been the same. I've had struggles where I was just about able to function myself so a baby would be unthinkable but then there's no access to abortion here so I was shitting myself after every sexual encounter no matter how protected it was.

Then I went on to reach a boiling point with muh depression and anxiety and I had a six month plan where I was going to end my life on a certain meaningful date. I was in a brand new relationship att and I came off of BC because of my suicide backup plan. I can't believe my own story lol. I didn't tell the guy. I was clearly not in my right mind for months. I had unprotected sex several times a day like you do when you're brand new with someone. Never got pregnant. Never killed myself either. I came to my senses and could not believe my behaviour… and my good luck in the end. I got on BC again and never told the guy my secret. It's like a bad trip when I think back to that period of my life and what my thought process was.

Don't write off BC or condoms, combine the two seeing as it's as much as you can do. Talk to the person prescribing you your chosen method of BC and see if they can recommend any reading material. I'm sure they get this alot. If you happen to have generalised anxiety too and it's not well treated that can obvs ramp up this type of worry too.

No. 270129

>>270126
Nta but I'm a divorced woman whose marriage lasted a depressingly short time (childless marriage) But even I don't understand your level of bitterness. Yeah divorce rates are high and coparenting is becoming so common but people have to live and take risks and discern what's best for themselves. Put away your crystal ball if all your crystal ball can see is doom.

No. 270131

>>269690
this is what my parents did with me and i have no hard feelings about it

thought the fact that i ended up here might speak for >>269795 kek

No. 270140

>>270126
Can you project your childhood trauma somewhere else maybe? God you are pathetic.

No. 270142

>>270086
I mean, that's the right amount of paranoia to have for an action that literally brings a new life into the world, more people should have that amount of foresight

No. 270145

>>270142
panicking and doing a pregnancy test after being fingered isn't "the right amount of paranoia"

No. 270148

Is anyone else here absolutely terrified by seeing posts made by preteens or young teens about how much they hate their "abusive" parents for not letting them on hormones or puberty blockers or calling them by some ridiculous pronouns or name? It literally scares the shit out of me seeing 13 year olds wishing death upon their mom and making plans to run away or get hormones from shady online groomers. It makes me want to cry thinking about my baby daughter posting the same stuff about me someday because I don't want to call her "moss" or use star/starself pronouns

No. 270151

>>270148
I'm hoping by the time my children will be teenagers the trans-trend will be mostly over. I can't see it lasting for several generations. I also think that most FTM's who troon out have been sexually abused in some way, so as long as you protect your daughters from men (never leave them alone with male relatives that are not the father, never any step-fathers etc.) and you try your best to monitor their internet use to keep them from getting groomed, the chances of them becoming fakebois are small.

No. 270152

>>270148
The online fakeboi behavior is extremely uncommon among stable, well-adjusted girls with good childhoods. If your child does end up that way they have other underlying issues

No. 270155

>>270152
Sidenote jumping in as an autist the tranny community tried to groom. Puberty is a big part of it. Your brain goes through big development and body through big changes. Stuff like showers combine those two in the worst way and a lot of autistic girls with bad brain body connections are groomed into thinking it means your trans. Instead of teaching them to cope by making showers less overwhelming by removing other stimulation like adding earplugs and lowering the light and teaching them body neutrality

No. 270296

help I’m 9 months pregnant and I’m tired all the time. I’m waiting for this nesting phase but have yet to feel it yet. Just kinda want her out now… aaaa

No. 270304

>>270296
How’s your iron? When mine was too low in my final trimester it was the most tired I’ve ever been.

No. 270310

Ear infections are a bitch, I have a toddler who gets them almost every time he has a cold. Poor thing, he is telling me his ear hurts and sleeping a lot. I have to go pick up amoxicillin later today. Deep sighing into infinity

No. 270312

File: 1655233644182.jpeg (1.24 MB, 894x1042, C187DE16-7AFF-42E0-97AA-8E64AB…)

>>269265
Yes, I wanted a girl but I got a boy. I wanted a girl, because I’ve observed from my little brother and other little boys that they have a tendency to be more violent and flail or smack themselves or throw themselves when they get mad. It’s gross and annoying I think it’s because if you look at boys toys and clothes with dinosaurs or anthropomorphic trucks they all have angry eyes and sharp teeth. Aggression is encouraged if you are a boy. I buy my kid some girls toys (not those blow up doll looking lol things) and baby dolls. I try to encourage being a nice kid, I have tea parties with him. I paint his nails, I pretend to put makeup on him, I watch strawberry shortcake with him. I still do all the stuff I imagined doing with a little girl. It’s funny because strangers call him a girl, he’s just got such a sweet looking face, it happened more so when he had long hair. He likes dinosaurs so I try to make them out to be friendly and loving like land before time dinosaurs, and just show him documentaries of them. This book has a good depiction of them. He does throw tantrums but they’re never violent. I love this kid so much, I want a daughter eventually but I’m glad my first baby came out the way he is.

No. 270313

>>270312
I'm sorry but I think that is a big mistake.

No. 270315

>>270312
Hoping you'll be there to defend him when he gets called a trannyfag at school

No. 270318

>>270312
I was with you for most of the post, especially your analysis of toys meant for boys, but you lost me on the nail painting and make up. Unfortunately, allowing your son to normalize those things only opens the floodgates to the tranny rhetoric and grooming strategies imo. If I had a son, I would raise him gently too, but at a certain point you are just socializing him as a girl in the consumerist manner (girl oriented TV shows, makeup and beauty industry, etc). I would just do activities like cooking, art, gardening, woodworking. All wholesome purposeful gender neutral things that can manifest into healthy masculine hobbies that aren't plagued with an agenda.

No. 270386

>>270312
WTF… you are treating your boy like a girl because you wanted a girl. Whatever cope you came up with for this is just that. That's awful, you're gonna troon your son.

No. 270395

>>270148
Tbh those come from broken households. If you just always communicate with your child and just are always there for them and love them, I seriously doubt they would fall into groomer hands so easily. All a question of raising them to be individuals that question the conformatist system and have confidence and selflove. Trannies come from outright neglect or lunatics like this nonna that gets some weird power trip off trooning her son.

No. 270397

>>270318

ntayrt but does it really work this way ?
Trannies feel strongly about make-up and "girly things" because there is something that seems forbidden or humiliating about them that turns them on. Someone who is used to seeing all that as normal fun stuff from a young age wouldn't end up feeling the same way, would they ?

Don't get me wrong, I think there's definitely going to be a problem with the kid at some point but I don't think it's going to be tranny shit, unless nona starts shaming him for being male as he grows up and favoring his eventual little sister.

No. 270421

Fellow US nonnies, how much did prenatal care and birth cost you? I know it's variable and depends on your exact insurance, but I'd love to see what range of grand totals exist.

No. 270429

>>270421
Just under 10k with insurance.

No. 270445

>>270397
AGP trannies are not the only trannies. There are also HSTS trannies like Jazz Jennings who were trooned out by their mothers by just socializing them as girls and brainwashing them into thinking they are girls. They will be forever confused and dysfunctional.

No. 270450

I'm not a mother myself but I spend a lot of time with my nephews (aged 1 and 3) and I love them so much and worry a lot about what they're going to end up like as adult men. I have hope for them growing up to respect women because my sister is a single mom and most of their caretakers including me are female, but I could see how that might negatively affect them too, because they might expect all women in their life to cater to them. I hope not, right now they're really sweet and well behaved without being spoiled.

No. 270457

>>270450
It's men's socialization with other men that really turns them sour. You can raise a very loving and gentle son, but it he wants to be respected by his male friends and peers, he will adopt their values and outlooks which are misogynistic toxic and aggressive.

No. 270463

>>270450
My ex was raised by women, and he’s a horrible person. His mom did everything to raise him to be a gentle person (she was abused physically and sexually) and he still grew up to be a sexual degenerate narc. He was really sheltered as a child and home schooled so when he became an adult it was like free range to do everything he wasn’t allowed to do.

We have a son so of course that shit worries me. My mom was a single mom and my brother turned out pretty well so I’m hoping my son takes after his uncle more.
It’s really the whole nature vs nurture thing.

No. 270479

>>270312
I think you have the right idea anon, I would just take steps to make sure he doesn't get groomed into trooning. Continue to emphasize to him that he's perfect the way he is, and that boys and girls can enjoy anything they want to.

If you have the means, I'd send him to private school for kindergarten. Not only do the students perform better academically, you can also keep him from being indoctrinated with gendershit.

No. 270516

>>270450
Sons of single mothers are the absolute worst men. They usually have both mommy and daddy issues. Men need a father around to not go totally insane because otherwise they will look for a father figure online and end up looking up to some moron like Jordan Peterson or Sam Hyde as their daddy figure.

No. 270517

>>270479
>I would just take steps to make sure he doesn't get groomed into trooning
She's the one grooming him

No. 270535

>>270516
I think it really depends on the scenario. Obviously a lot of single mothers are bringing their boyfriends around their children, being neglectful, etc. but in general I don't think it's a negative thing in and of itself. A lot of married women with kids are deeply unhappy in their relationship and doing far more of the work raising kids than the father and that's not a good thing to expose children to.

No. 270543

>>270516
That and their moms often form a covert incestuous relationship with them (often subconsciously) while shit talking other men they date/his father and that screws up their relationship with other women for life as well as their security.

No. 270548

>>270535
You're wrong, a child needs mother and father. Having only one will leave them longing for the other for the rest of their life and they will try to recreate that love they missed out on forever, sometimes in very unhealthy ways.

No. 270551

>>270516
>>270535
>>270543
>>270548
I've known guys with absent fathers, honestly not having a father figure is better than having one that brainwashes them into being misogynistic little freaks. Both of the men were very respectful towards me and valued their mothers. Though some of them can be toxic, especially if they grow to blame or resent their mothers.

No. 270552

>>270551
In my experience it's the men without fathers that become misogynistic little freaks. Mostly due to the fact that they look for replacement father figures online and those tend to be men from menosphere movements like Jordan Peterson. If you look at any toxic e-celeb moid you will find a gaggle of fatherless men hanging onto their every word for wisdom in the comments.

No. 270556

File: 1655389334275.gif (3.99 MB, 252x252, baby getting head pets.gif)

What's something you wished you or your partner knew before planning a pregnancy? It seems no matter what, nobody really knows what they are getting into, and that's fine. However, it would be great to know what nonnies would have told their past selves if they could.

No. 270558

>>270556
I never wanted to bludgeon something to death more. Holy shit, that has got to be the most annoying looking baby in the world and trust me I’ve seen my fair share of babies.

No. 270559

>>270552
I don't care about e-celebs never gonna come across one anyways, most normal people care more about their irl experiences and if you think stuff you see online is more truthful, you should probably go outside.
>>270556
Your child isn't going to be cute or pretty unless you are.

No. 270560

>>270559
I’m extremely pretty.

No. 270561

>>270552
Misogyny doesn't just appear in boys when they become old enough to troll forums though. It's way more deeply ingrained than that, and it starts from how they see men around them treat women during childhood.

No. 270562

>>270558
> I never wanted to bludgeon something to death more
what the fuck!! anon kek

No. 270566

File: 1655390605518.jpeg (312.31 KB, 981x508, 649DCE4E-CDA4-4C6B-BFA0-AD0178…)

>>270561
It’s biological. They have a higher chance of impregnating more women if they’re violent and manipulative towards us, so the trait gets passed on to the next generation. You can’t make a predator go vegan by “raising it right,” but if you don’t want to have a pet rape-ape you can always make the choice to have daughters only. Will you choose honour over becoming the next generation of boy-moms?

No. 270568

>>270548 if men were supposed to raise children they would have breasts instead of a continuous supply of sperm to impregnate as much women as possible, retard. But “god said Adam and Eve, not Mary and Eve” didn’t he? Kys.

No. 270571

>>270566
>It’s biological. They have a higher chance of impregnating more women if they’re violent and manipulative towards us, so the trait gets passed on to the next generation. You can’t make a predator go vegan by “raising it right,”
Thank you for saying the truth.

No. 270577

>>270551
NTA I know a fatherless moid who idolizes Peterson and sucks off to Elon Musk's tweets. Openly brags about being 'a sociopath', still managed to manipulate my stupid non-blood sibling into e-dating because she is a desperate woman. He isolates her from others and talks shit about her friends, spamming DMs the second she goes out of the PC. What a joke

No. 270581

I miss when this thread was just wholesome baby talk before the seething femcels invaded it to make it all about man-hate. Another thread ruined because you can't stop seething and moids live rent free in your heads 24/7. I bet none of you even have kids or are pregnant.

No. 270582

>>270581
I am currently 9 months pregnant with triplets + When the little monster pops out will you move your guns to a safe in case he chimps out into a murder-suicide or keep them on you at all times so you can put him down like a rabid dog if he tries to chris-chan you? + L + ratio

No. 270592

>>270556
How common miscarriage is. I lost my first and I was completely oblivious that it wasn't rare. We hadn't even discussed how we would deal with loss so it was hard.
>>270559
Sometimes unfortunate looking parents have beautiful kids, and beautiful parents have unfortunate looking kids. You never know.

No. 270593

>>270581
You are the one being toxic here right now. Calm down.

No. 270600

>>270582
cringe

No. 270636

>>270421
Completely free with Medicaid, including every 2-4 week visits, sonograms, etc due to high risk pregnancy. My baby was also in the NICU for a few days due to jaundice. Definitely look for hospitals with sliding scales if you don't qualify, the only thing I paid for was 4 bucks for colic drops

No. 270644

My obgyn said I've been gaining too much weight but honestly it's just that during the first visit I was basically anorexic because of a combo of being heavily sick with flu pre-pregnancy and losing weight, and then suffering a lot in first trimester unable to keep food with me. So I weighted the least I have since Ive been a young teen basically, dropping under 18 BMI. Now I've been gaining like 5kg per month and feel quite good about it. But observing this, Obgyn is saying it is too fast. My BMI is 22.5 now at week 26. Honestly I think it's bullshit and that I shouldn't cut down on food, especially cuz it doesn't look like I've gotten diabetes wyt?

No. 270648

>>270644
Just make sure your caloric intake is within the realms they suggest for additional during each trimester of pregnancy and that's pretty much all you should even be concerned about.

No. 270656

>>270644
Honestly, tons of women gain more weight than what is recommended, especially if you are starting at a lower weight. As long as your blood pressure and sugar is good and you're eating balanced there's no real issues.

No. 270659

>>270644
Gaining weight too fast could still be bad for your baby and result in a large baby, even tho you technically need to gain weight if you are underweight. You want your baby growing at a normal speed. Everything you eat goes to your baby first and you get the left-overs, that's how nature designed it. So if you eat a ton of crap then all that goes to your baby first and you might end up with a very large baby, that means a difficult and dangerous birth for both of you where baby's shoulders could get dislocated for example cause it doesn't fit through your birth canal. I think she is just worried that if you keep gaining at this rate for the rest of the pregnancy then it's going to be too much too fast. 5kg a month is quite a bit since you still got some months to go.

Whenever a doctor tells you these things it's not because they want to shame you or neg you about your weight, they just want to make sure you and the baby are healthy.

No. 270660

>>270644
Just curious, are you binge-eating now? I know a lot of people with eating disorders go from under-eating to over-eating phases, or are you eating healthy and normal portions?

No. 270661

>>270592
Can I control sperm quality so I won't have a mongoloid-looking/behaving kid when I'm pregnant or is this scientifically impossible?

No. 270664

Would it be hard to give birth as a virgin?

I really can only go ape for women, and don’t want to sleep with men. But with women, I still don’t want to be penetrated, although I’d totally be a giver for a woman. But I want to have children naturally by donor, I am very maternal and my family expects me to carry on the bloodline too. So will it be hard to give birth as a medically classed virgin?

No. 270670

>>270661
You personally? no. You can give your moid vitamins that improve sperm quality and make sure he doesn't drink or smoke and eats as healthy as possible. That's what we did.

No. 270726

>>270661
Make sure your partner isn't fat and eats balanced. No drugs or alcohol. In pregnancy don't take any medication unless absolutely necessary. For instance, the link between Tylenol in utero and autism/behavioral issues is being studied at the moment. Stay away from harsh cleaning products, artificial fragrance, and plastic. All of these play a role in a child's future behavior in ways we don't even fully realize yet.

No. 270728

>>270661
really hope your kid turns out to be an aspie now

No. 270730

Does anyone feel like doctors put way too much pressure on women for every little thing? My baby was gaining weight slowly the first two weeks, which they admitted was normal but wanted me to bottle feed her after breast feeding "and possibly formula" despite the fact I'm an overproducer in order to make her gain weight. She literally will not feed for more than 30-45 minutes on my breast and her poops and all have been normal. I also feel like milestones are way too high now

No. 270732

>>270664
why would it be? There shouldn't be any issues.

No. 270747

>>270746
What exactly do you think you could do? The genetic build up of your child is completely up to chance.

No. 270749

>>270746
>they will have to go through acne during puberty
Lots of kids do anon. It sucks but it can be managed. No offense, but I think there are bigger and more important things to consider than whether or not your kids will have pimples, need glasses or have ugly feet (who even cares about their children's feet?).

No. 270755

>>270747
Youre right nona. I guess nothing you can do!
>>270749
Well the type of acne he has is forever. His mom still has acne in her 50s. He tells me that its quite painful so I dont really want my kids to have to deal with acne for the rest of their lives. The ugly feet is flat foot, I just forgot what it was called. He had trouble walking and needed physical therapy for it. Its more or less I dont want my kids to have to suffer because of genetic passings.

No. 270759

>>270755
That's understandable, I'm sorry for misunderstanding anon. I honestly thought you were just being a little vain kek

No. 270764

How do people have like 6+ kids? Seriously. The anxiety, the stress of being pregnant, how painful birth can be, how many little things can go wrong like colic that can quickly turn your life into a living hell. I'm convinced everyone who has a ton of kids or wants a big family must have not had to handle babies 24/7 or just has a nanny to hand them off to. I'm only on my first and it's been absolute chaos for the first few months. Pain from birth, colic, mastitis, feedings every 2 hours + having to pump right after meaning you probably only get like an hour of sleep between feeds

No. 270770

>>270764
As someone from a large family with lots of siblings, there were no nannies kek it was basically older siblings watching over the younger ones and grandmas and aunts helping out.

No. 270783

>>270670
>You can give your moid vitamins
What vitamins do you recommend? Ideally, as few pills as possible. Our main concern is the health of the child, but faster conception would be nice, as well.

No. 270793

>>270730
Please don't feed with formula if you can avoid it. I'm sorry for all who don't have other options but even as a substitute they're bad. The reason doctors push them is because they can profit off those who consume things like seedoils, soy and other processed bullshit the most. They want to harm your child in order to ensure having a lifelong customer.

No. 270794

>>270783
Zinc helps with production of it, but just generally a healthy lifestyle. Make sure he works out and trains his muscles so his hormone levels are balanced also.

No. 270804

>>270783
I made my husband do his own research on the topic and this is what he bought:
-Zinc and Selen
-Fenugreek
-Sunflower Lecithin
-a general men's multivitamin

I noticed a difference almost immediately, just the amount of cum went up a lot and it was a lot more liquid, which is good because the sperm needs a lot of fluid to transport them where they need to go. We also used a special lube that is supposed to help conceive because normal lube kills sperm and hinders their movement.

No. 270805

>>270764
Those people usually have big families and live with multiple generations that help out with the kids. Grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins all babysit and help. Then the older kids also take care of the younger ones. It can definitely be done, also some people just don't use birth control for religious reasons so they have no choice but to have many kids I guess.

No. 270810

>>270793
Ah seed oil chan, I was wondering where you've been

No. 270819

>>270793
They also don't bother to discuss other possible causes. I tried the every two hours, feed, pump, and supplement schedule, she was often way too full to take the rest of it via bottle so it took a good minute to practically force feed her and have her spit it all up. By the time I was done with everything it was be time for another feed and I was losing my mind since I had zero time to feed, nap, or eat and my my supply actually dropped from how little time I actually had to eat. Unrealistic expectations + adding in a bunch of unnecessary steps when breastfeeding is insanity and probably the reason why so many women turn to formula despite being able to breastfeed. We lived thousands of years just breastfeeding on demand with no extra steps and thrived, idk why doctors think you need to forcefeed your baby 24 hours a day or you're doing something wrong

No. 270901

File: 1655581311241.jpg (75.26 KB, 800x800, plush-tenori-kiiroitori-rilakk…)

How long do you think is "enough" for you and your partner to be together or married in order to have a child?
I've been married to my partner for 3 years, 4th will be the next one and I am exhausted of "waiting". At first he was happy about the idea but after COVID years hes been more than anxious and unsure. So anxious that he once came inside me and then regretted it, forcing me to take the b-plan pill. I always cook around the house and the only person to clean while trying to scratch a few occasional pennies off my art commissions and the more years go by the more miserable about the future I feel. Its even worse now that my grandparents who have raised me are doing terrible healthwise and neither me nor them can visit eachother and we havent seen eachother in 3 years too. I am just so sad and I don't know how to even talk about it to my partner anymore. Of course it is a huge decision, bringing a different life but with me not being able to find a job and always being the housemaker I would like to at least have something else too. I put my whole life into a few suitcases the move out of my terrible goverment and I am studying the local language hard - i understand everything people say, just takes awhile to say much back and I still keep having the languge courses. Also mine and my partners age difference concerns me as the more years go by. Im just tired.

No. 270903


No. 270911

>>270903
Not any of those anons but do you even know what a troon is or do you just throw that word around to integrate?

No. 270918

>>270901
its been 3 years… he probably doesn't want kids and is wasting your youth hoping he can hit the snooze button every time you ask about it. "after covid" "after the recession", etc.

No. 270919

>>270901
You don't need a baby you need to break up with your bf. Having a child will not save your relationship.

No. 270983

>>270901
We started trying for a baby as soon as we decided that we will get married cause we didn't want to waste any time starting to live the life that we want to live together. I am also already in my late 20s so I started to hear he clock ticking since I want multiple children. Very happy with my decision.

No. 270987

>>270804
>using lube
pathetic

No. 270989

>>270901
Doesn't sound like a good relationship to me at all. My boyfriend and I called each other husband/wife as a ""joke"" after the first dates and when we slept with each other we were ""ironically"" talking about how I'm impregnated now, even when it was in unfertile days. If you don't feel good about the idea of children you shouldn't force yourself to or wait that it magically starts. Honestly I think you're wasting your time with this moid. I would be so blackpilled for being forced to take Plan B unless we were like living in straight up homeless poverty or something.

No. 270995

>>270987
Fuck off tranny.

No. 271268

Anyone have mild tearing but it still hurts like fuck? I could barely move for the first few days without wanting to kms. I'm almost to week 2 and completely fine other than mild pressure. What are 3rd and 4th degree tearings even like? Do you have to be out in a wheelchair?

No. 271673

I gave birth about two weeks ago and my asshole fucking HURTS and I literally pooped myself on a run. I don't get it my vaginal area healed up like nothing happened, my tearing was 1st degree but my asshole seems to be taking the shit end of the stick, pun not intended. I've been using the perineum spray and nothing seems to work and I don't have a prolapse. Why is this happening to me? I am low-key wishing I had gotten a c section instead

No. 271679

>>271673
Could you have hemorrhoids (common in pregnancy)? Is it sore when you poop?

No. 271713

>>271673
You probably just inflamed tissues that are still healing. Maybe stick to swimming or other low impact exercise until the 6 week mark.

No. 272396

Is anybody else collecting colostrum? The consistency and color of mine is always different. I am also not sure how much I should collect? I get about 4-10ml a session.

No. 272410

>>272396
Collected mine daily and used it to recover in the hospital so I can nap while other people fed the baby. I also had a ton left over and it helped my baby recover from jaundice

No. 272411

>>272396
I thought you are not supposed to pump any milk before your due-date because it can induce early labor?

No. 272417

>>272411
Does it? I pumped since 20 weeks and my husband sucked my boobs daily since day 1 and I was still 10 days overdue kek

No. 272444

>>272410
Thays impressive! How much did you end up collecting total?
>>272411
It's okay for some women to do earlier. For others it can cause uterine discomfort and cramping. I have been hand expressing since 30 weeks with no issues

No. 272447

>>272417
what the heck

No. 272516

Have any of you had an easy time breastfeeding? I feel like I only hear horror stories about how painful it is and how all women want to give up because its so hard and they all get mastitis etc. It really makes me dread breastfeeding, but I really want to. Are they just trying to scare other women or is it really that bad?

No. 272553

File: 1656511654186.jpg (31.68 KB, 800x600, female-sterilization-tubal-lig…)

I scheduled a consultation with an OB for tubal ligation next Wednesday. I am SO NERVOUS that she will deny my request. Such bullshit.
This is a doctor I've not seen before so I don't really know what her attitude will be like. She looks like she is under 40, so that's good, right? I want this so bad. Here are my reasons:
>I'm almost 32, never ever wanted kids to the point where it's kind of a running joke in my family that I "hate" children (I don't lol but I really don't want any)
>Pregnancy is literal body horror to me and I would kms if I had to endure a distended belly and birth
>I have tried 5+ methods of birth control that all had negative effects from hormonal instability to an IUD flipping upside down inside of me somehow
>I had to terminate a pregnancy in October and I never ever want to do that again as it was traumatizing (I had an at-home abortion in my shower and there was a lot more tissue/matter coming out than I anticipated and I had to get a second procedure, a vacuum [?] abortion at the office because all of the tissue was not expelled)
>Ever since the abortion I have been kind of scared of my bf's penis getting anywhere near my vagina without a condom on and it detracts from my pleasure and connection with him
>My bf and I have been together for over 10 years (this is not a flex at my age, but it is relevant) and both agree on a childfree lifestyle.
>I've seen my friends and siblings have children and no "switch" was flipped for me and I still don't ever want to have babies or raise children.
>My sex drive has been NIL for the past 9-ish years because of depression, anxiety, trauma, meds, and birth control, and I am FINALLY getting it back and I am SO EXCITED. I never ever want to lose my sex drive again, and fear of pregnancy (that I will never want) is inhibiting me.
>I would love to be able to have pregnancy and condom-free sex with my bf while we are still young.
Anything else I should include? Has anyone gone through this? I saw on the childfree subreddit that it's helpful to mention how fear of pregnancy negatively affects your sex life because one of the main objectives of an OB/GYN is to facilitate a happy and healthy sex life for their patients. I want this so bad. If she refuses, I will go to another doctor. Please send vibes nonnies!! I'll update next week if anyone is interested.

No. 272565

>>272516
Depends on what you define as “bad.” For me, every letdown reflex (when the baby starts feeding and your milk gets ready to go out, sorry for the shit explanation) felt like hot coals in my breasts. It got better over time, but was still pretty painful. Not to mention the frequency of feedings at the beginning. I only lasted 9 months. A full 12 is considered best, but 6 months is the minimum for benefits, I think.

No. 272566

>>272565
Oh, samefag, you will get chapped and cracked nipples. Yes, it hurts, but I’ve actually lost all sensation in mine. It’s been 6 years since I breastfed, and my nipples never regained sensitivity.

No. 272568

>>272553
You're in the wrong thread. The childfree thread is here >>>/g/156622

This is the thread for people who want children.

No. 272569

>>272568
You are correct! My bad. The OP says this is a thread for birth control discussion. I'll repost. Thanks

No. 272570

>>272569
Samefag, I'm an idiot, it says conception not contraception

No. 272587

>>272570
please get your tubes tied, thank you

No. 272589

>>272587
Looks likes she’s actively trying to do just that, anon. Lol

No. 272624

>>272516
I guess it depends. Breastfeeding hurt at first and I got mastitis for a few days but quickly recovered. Other than that it's been a breeze, still would prefer this over expensive formula though. You also have to learn about how babies develop with breast milk vs formula since a lot of doctors are adjusted to the formula ways of development. Breast milk babies don't gain as fast but you can't overfeed then, they also have curdled poop and spit up

No. 272687

>>272566
>>272624
would coconut oil prevent the skin chapping and possibly infections also? Did anyone have experience with that? Also how is direct feeding vs using a breast pump? I am pregnant with my first and bought the breast pump and tried it out for a few seconds on the medium setting out of curiosity, and damn it does hurt. Does this have to do with not producing any yet or will it just be like that?

No. 272689

>>272687
In my experience if you pump correctly it's much more comfortable than the baby eating straight from the boob since the baby will often chew on the nipple and teething will hurt. I got nipple sores after the first few days of feeding my baby right out of the womb. Direct feeding has pros like easy access, don't have to clean before or after, don't have to store milk, etc and will definitely help with postpartum recovery. but if I had the energy for it I totally would have exclusively pumped and just bottle fed .

As for oils I'm an oil junkie (mostly olive and grapeseed) and still got infections but it helped with stretch marks. It probably hurts due to increased sensitivity. Though if I didn't produce a fuck ton of colostrum I wouldnt have pumped since it can be a while before you learn the right latch and milk/colostrum will get all over the base of the pump and you'd wanna save all the colostrum you can, stick with hand expressing with colostrum and hand expressing unless you're producing a lot that won't matter if wasted

No. 272693

>>272687
I highly recommend lanolin for your nips. It was like a miracle cream when mine got cracked. Also, I could never get a lot out with a pump, so I didn’t use it. You can try after baby is here and see how it goes for you. Try not to get discouraged if you’re seemingly not producing a lot that way, it’s a common occurrence.

No. 272704

>>272687
I'm also pregnant with my first so no personal experience, but I heard so many moms swear by coconut oil since lanolin is very very thick and heavy and some women are even allergic to it (and don't know it, they think the skin irritation is only from breastfeeding). I am also getting some silver nipple shields that many have said are a godsend to protect the nipples between feeding sessions. I really hope I will have a good experience breastfeeding since I don't think formula is a good alternative… the breastmilk from the mother is just the best cause it is individually produced for your babies needs and even changes depending on your babies development.

No. 272737

>>272516
Have been breastfeeding for 8 months now with no issues. Only the first few weeks were sometimes uncomfortable, especially the uterine contractions the first few days after birth. I have a low tolerance for discomfort and pain and it was a breeze since week 3
I used these when my nipples would crack and it was a miracle cure https://www.dm.de/multi-mam-kompressen-p8714207821208.html
Silicone nipple shields were great for when the letdown was too strong or my nipples felt too sensitive.
Hope you'll have a great experience too. Remember that it's usually people who have issues that speak about it online, the ones who have an okay to good experience don't feel the need to talk about it.

No. 272768

>>272704
I used lanolin and liked it or a shea and rose butter balm. After the initial week or two of struggle it got better. No more bleeding or chafing.
Crampbark can be taken for the uterine contractions anon mentioned above.
I had a Hakka which is a thing that suctions to the breast not in use and catches the milk so you can start a passive milk supply that way. Also makes it less messy
Stay hydrated and make sure you eat enough so you’re milk is strong and keeps baby full. A nursing bra with breast pads you can change out to stay dry is big too.

No. 272844

anyone have experience with PPD or PPP? Would USA mental hospitals allow mothers to keep baby with them in unit?

No. 272871

Does any of you have an experience raising a mixed nationality child? I'm considering having a kid with my partner in the future but both of our families speak different languages neither of us is any good at, and between us we speak english, so ideally our child would have to be fluent in three languages… is that even possible?

No. 272888

>>272871
It's possible, but three is definitely a bit confusing for a child. My husband and me plan to raise our child bilingual, he speaks English and I speak English plus my native language. I plan to speak my native language to the child, he will speak English to it and the family language will also be English. This is a pretty easy way to raise children bilingual, they will associate the language with the parent talking to them. Not sure how you would do it with three languages, maybe save one for your child to learn later on when they are a bit older. I would suggest to teach them English and the language of whatever country you live in first. There's a lot of books about the topic, just look on Amazon.

No. 272897

>>272871
The truth is, your child will most likely end up being fluent in whatever language is predominantly used in the country you live in. If there’s a different language everyone uses at home, that will probably become language #2. They’ll understand it well enough, but most likely will have a preference for speaking in their more fluent language. Unless they have other siblings and friends to practice the home language with, it may not be the easiest
speak (according to friends who grew up in similar situations). As for talking to relatives in some third language? It will definitely just come down to their personality and your diligence.

No. 272926

>>272888
>>272897
NTA do you guys think having the baby watch childrens shows in the second language would help? I think it would be nice for my kids to have some basic language but I don't see a practical way for them to learn otherwise, even if my partner only spoke to them in the second language

No. 272932

>>272926
We will read them books in both languages we want them to learn, along with some child-friendly tv shows and movies in each language, but I don't want my kids to watch too much tv while they are still small so we will mostly read to them and talk to them.

No. 272946

>>272871
I myself was raised bilingual. It might be difficult since you said that you and your husband only speak English, but I spoke to my father in English and my mother in French growing up, and in first grade I began learning a third language in school which I'm not native level at but I have a pretty good understanding of it. I read books and watched movies in both English and French growing up. Be prepared that when your child is young they might switch between languages at random, or only know a certain word in one language.

No. 273018

>>272871
I'm in the same situation and my child is trilingual. Both my husband and I were raised bilingual because of mixed ethnicity languages, were fluent at both from the start.
The important thing is that each parent talks to to the child in their native language and in the third only between you and your partner. This is less confusing for children according to a speech therapist we consulted. I'm assuming your shared language is english - the shared language will be the child's weakest but it will pick it up more a bit later through media and school.
Buy books in all both your native languages, watch cartoons in both, do regular videocalls with friends and relatives from home.
There is a lot of places where families are multilingual and the children start speaking all the languages with equal fluency as long as they're equally exposed to it. Like another anon mentioned though, they might learn a word in one language but not another, but it evens out soon.
Make sure that if you are on spending more time with the baby then the father because of maternity leave that the father talks a lot with the baby whenever at home. The positive is that you and your partner will learn each other's native languages along with the baby.

No. 273163

How do I stop rapid weight loss during breastfeeding? I barely have time to eat due to cluster feeds and breastfeeding has made me have these massive solid poops several times a day, doesn't help I got mastitis and my antibiotics made ne lose my appetite. I look like an anorexic with disgusting swollen bolt ons

No. 273202

>>273163
Honestly, protein shakes and milkshakes.

No. 273271

>>273163
Maybe make yourself a bowl of overnight oats (maybe with chia seeds) with milk when you can find the time and add a bit of protein powder and coconut oil or just straight up butter to it to get the calories up. Honey also and marmalade for the taste. Nuts also are quite dense calorie wise and easy to snack on.

No. 273561

I bought and picked up a stroller from a young mom over a flea market app, and this woman who wasn't much older than me had GLOWING skin. She had a only 1 month old baby and told me she had a total of 5 kids. She had her hair nicely done, was wearing some light makeup and just so calm and beautiful and explaining how to fold the stroller so super nicely. HOW.
I'm pregnant with my first and I'm so afraid of post partum that I said beforehand I don't want any relatives to come see me for the first 40 days and to not even leave the house since I expect to become a trainwreck looks- and mood wise.

No. 273574

>>273561
I have a one month old and have to say it's easy to fake having your shit together if you don't have a super traumatic birth or anything, about 1-2 months is when I felt I started having my shit together and right now it's just me and my husband no family to help but I assume super clean house, dinner on table, yoga at 5 type ladies are either rich enough to have baby sitters, maids, etc or have hell of a support system from family. I honestly found postpartum much easier than my last few weeks of pregnancy

No. 273643

Did anyone pay to get a NIPT to screen for Down Syndrome? Its really fucking expensive and not even 100% reliable so I don't know whether to go for it or not. I live in the UK but can't get it on the NHS.

No. 273647

>>273643
My husband and I decided to go for it. It honestly gave me peace of mind. We ended up paying 200 usd for a pretty extensive one. Our obgyn's office had a special and gave us a discount for paying out of pocket. I am a burger though.

No. 273652

>>273643
Better to drop a bucket of money now than a lifetime of huge expenses on a child with downs later. I'd seriously consider it if you can pay for it.

No. 273654

>>273643
We paid 170€ for ours and it was a real piece of mind. It doesn't just test for down syndrome but other abnormalities as well and its something like 99% reliable. I will do it again. If you can't afford that, how can you afford a kid?

No. 273672

>>273654
Well I have savings for this sort of thing but I only have to shell out about £400 for the priviledge. Just so peeved off about having to spend so much for what should really be basic, affordable antenatal care.

No. 273689

Does anyone here actually breastfeed in public? Ive only done it 3 times and stopped after being hit on by a moid. I live in a state that is protected by breastfeeding in public rights but it's just so hard to build up the confidence to actually to do it and I don't want to be grouped in with those mother's who always film themselves breastfeeding for attention

No. 273690

>>273689
You just cover up with a scarf thing and it shouldn't be that big of a deal?

No. 273692

>>273690
I do but still have gotten looks since you can accidentally expose your breasts in the transition of putting everything on, getting the baby latched, etc or getting everything off. It's that weird "I know you're breastfeeding under that" type deal and I feel like a lot of moids stare because they're waiting for a blanket malfunction. Am I just being paranoid?

No. 273725

>>273672
Even in Germany the NIPT is not covered by health insurance. I don't think it is anywhere.

No. 273821

>>273643
I had one done and it definitely helped ease my mind. Although I feel less eased now, after seeing how much (little?) other nonas paid for theirs. Mine cost roughly $1000 after converted to USD, which every website in my country told me was the average. I was under the impression that it was a bit different from the type of NIPT done in western countries due to some things the doctor at that practice said, but maybe my entire country is full of suckers. Oh well.

No. 274240

>>273689
>after being hit on by a moid
WTF. Absolutely fucking massively blackpilling and vile like how does this not make anyone into an actual misandrist. Fucking kill them all. Guess I'm not feeding outside unless I'm not with husband so he can beat those deranged coomers up

No. 274394

>>274240
Can women ever have an issue with anything ever without moids acting like we're equating it to the Holocaust or something? Why would a woman want to be flirted with while she's feeding a baby?

No. 274427

>>273692
You’re def not being paranoid, there’s an alarming amount of men who take advantage of a view like that. It’s sick but it’s the truth.

No. 274435

>>274240
>husband
>deranged coomers
"not my nigel tho! he's one of the good ones!"

No. 274500

>>274435
>>274423
Nta but this wasn't a woman this was a moid mocking the anon for being bothered by a man flirting with her while breastfeeding

No. 274501

>>274435
Men live absolutely rent-free in your head, holy shit. Stop derailing this thread all the time and hide threads that trigger you.

No. 274574

>>274526
Post hand or GTFO

No. 274708

>>270310
Try olive oil + garlic oil, or a premade "ear oil". It prevents/cures ear infections in my experience without antibiotics. I used to get them regularly as an adult before I tried ear oil.

No. 274721

File: 1657570257431.png (483.68 KB, 1730x974, Screen-Shot-2021-11-30-at-4.13…)

I have only 3 weeks left to go. I hate my stretchmarks so much, they are so painful. Whenever the baby moves it feels like someone rubbing their fingers into a cut. I have been moisturizing extensively but my belly is just full of red marks. I haven't even gained that much weight this pregnancy. I am scared of what my postpartum stomach will look like.

No. 274725

File: 1657572159295.jpg (162.12 KB, 1536x1536, Breast-Milk-Stretch-Marks.jpg)

>>274721
Putting breastmilk on your stretch marks + dermarolling is magic when it comes to stretch marks. A spray tan can also cover stretch marks pretty well and a lemon juice scrub

No. 274726

Does anyone have a slacker boob? I got mastitis two weeks ago and it still feels like the supply is barely there when I pump but I'm hand expressing a good bit and baby is getting full off of it?

No. 274728

>>274726
Breasts don’t respond to pumps as well as hand expressing or a baby’s latch. Slacker boob is totally normal. Both my kids had a favorite boob so the other one was always less. If baby is happy and wetting diapers, you’re fine.

Sorry about the mastitis though. I had it a few times BFding both my kids. Usually happened when their eating habits changed and they weren’t emptying my breasts.

No. 274775

>>274721
My gosh I relate. My stomach isn't too bad but my boobs grew way too fast and are completely ridden with stretch marks. They start out way darker than they will eventually become though, so that's a hope to keep in mind. I've been using bio-oil and coconut oil maybe this helps you too. Eventually I like to think about it that way; when a tree grows fruit its initial flowers also lose their petals and one type of beauty might seem to fade but the buds give room to transform themselves in order to bear something even more incredible and beautiful.

No. 275142

I had such an easy pregnancy until I hit 35 weeks last week and mild pre existing hypermobility has become so severe in my sij/pelvis/hips that I've almost completely lost mobility. I've had to transfer hospitals last second to one that has the facilities to support me (including after birth) but i don't know how long my referral will take to process and now for the first time i'm legitimately scared for whats going to happen between now and birth and it's suddenly so stressful. just needing to vent and it feels more suited here than the vent thread

No. 275303

File: 1657839189449.jpg (242.11 KB, 1200x1200, m_stroller_US_PIPA-lite_Nuna.j…)

What was actual splurg stuff you guys quickly learned after motherhood anons? I feel kinda silly since I spent my entire pregnancy hoarding things like bathing supplies, grooming kits, every bougie dish washing and changing stuff, books, diapers, an owlet, etc just for it to sit on the closet. The only thing I didn't splurg on is onesies, crib sheets, and medicines (colic drops, gripe water, etc) which weirdly enough seems like the stuff I use the most. Really wish they would tell you this

No. 275305

File: 1657840779735.jpeg (15.23 KB, 700x700, 11836365_fpx.jpeg)

>>275303
The only thing worth it that we splurged on is this detergent by The Laundress. Sticker price is shocking but it's actually saved us money in the end because it lasts a long time. It is incredible at getting out all stains. And I seriously mean all. I've started using it for our clothes too lol the owlet was the biggest waste of money (but we didn't buy it). A lot of modern day baby items aren't necessary, especially when they grow out of things so quickly

No. 275495

>>275305
What did you think of the owlet? I was considering getting one for my older sister who is due soon since we have a history of SIDS in our family and I wanted to give her a little peace of mind.

No. 275509

>>275495
Imo you shouldn't get anything for a baby that connects to the internet and tracks all your data on an app. You are literally buying shit you don't need so companies can collect your babies data so they can sell you even more shit you don't need. I don't want globo homo to know all about my baby before they can even crawl. It's so nightmarish.

No. 275512

>>274721
When did you start getting stretch-marks? I am at 30 weeks now and I feel like they are going to start appearing any day now. I got a shit ton of stretch-marks when I went through puberty so it's not my first rodeo and I don't feel too too bad about it.

No. 275526

>>275495
I got one for my friend who has a preemie and she loves it. Of course similar to an actual hospital monitor it often messes up if the baby too much but imo as a NICU mom myself it messes up a lot less than the hospital one. It's just a little complicated to put on really

No. 275528

>>275509
Geez anon. I'd rather companies "sell my data to get me to buy shit" than to have a dead baby wtf

No. 275531

>>274721
I've heard co2 lasers are probably the most effective way to remove stretch marks

No. 275534

>>275528
Not buying a baby dream monitor isn’t gonna kill it kek

No. 275549

>>275534
No one's saying that but it's recommended by doctors for high risk babies to prevent SIDS. seriously idgaf what companies do with heart rate and oxygen levels but if I had a high risk baby I'd definitely prefer that over the risk of SIDS. Are you even a parent?

No. 275590

>>275549
SIDS mostly happens because of unsafe sleep environment, a baby monitor won't help you if you are too stupid for safe sleep practices. Maybe buy her a guide on safe sleep instead.

No. 275602

>>275590
>SIDS is because you're stupid!!!
Okay you've got to be trolling. A safe sleep environment lessens the risk but doesn't remove it completely especially if you have a high risk baby like a preemie. If low oxygen levels are detected the baby can easily be saved ASAP if caught soon enough. Are you really trying to sit here and convince people that SIDS is the parents fault now before ever admitting that the owlet could be useful?

No. 275604

>>275590

Sage for samefag but when you're in the NICU your baby on a similar monitor for the same reason. Are they all just stupid too?

No. 275622

>>275602
NTA but there’s a theory that some babies who die of SIDS is due to tongue swallowing. It’s one of the reasons they recommend pacifiers in the states to help prevent it. I don’t know why but you made me think of it.

No. 275648

>>275622
SIDS is caused by a variety of factors. Rapidly developing respiratory system (which is also why it happens the most between 2-4 months because that's when it develops the most), unknown illnesses, over heating, undetected brain abnormalities, etc. A lot of these factors are just simply out of everyone's control

No. 275668

>>275512
I started getting them at exactly 32 weeks. I had come home from swimming and thought the chlorine just dried up and irritated my skin. I had only a few red streaks, and I wasn't that concerned. Fast forward to 35 weeks and my belly was completely covered overnight.

No. 275676

>>275648
And how is your smartsock going to help you if there is nothing you can do about SIDS?

No. 275705

>>275676
You can easily look up multiple stories of people having their babies saved from the owlet. You can detect the oxygen levels being low and go from there as well as heart rate changes and get emergency help. Seriously just Google "owlet saved baby". Anyone with two braincells can do it. I shouldn't have to spoon-feed you on how detecting changes in heart rate/oxygen can signal to receive help before an emergency happens

https://www.godupdates.com/owlet-smart-sock-baby-monitor/
https://www.usmagazine.com/celebrity-moms/news/dad-credits-owlet-smart-sock-for-saving-his-sons-life-w497061/

No. 276044

My husband said he doesn’t feel comfortable with me giving birth at home even though he knows that I’ve experienced abuse in hospitals. I don’t really know what else to say I just needed to release that I guess kek

No. 276055

>>276044
Maybe try a birthing home/center? If it's your first things can go wrong quick that can put you and your baby in danger. I understand fear of hospitals but you don't want to be hemorrhaging or have your baby not breathing and be completely fucked. Home births are better for your 3rd or more kids since you know how your body reacts to birthing

No. 276058

>>276044
Do you plan to have a midwife or anything like that? I understand wanting a home birth, but like the other anon said you want someone who can provide care to you or your baby if needed.

No. 276141

>>276044
Don't have a homebirth with your first, anon. So many things can go wrong that are impossible to predict.
I don't know where you are from and what your options are, look into birthing centers like anon above mentioned. Some EU countries offer hospital assisted homebirth - a midwife comes to yor home with some equipment and keeps the hospital up to date so they are ready to come over right away if needed.
Sorry for blogging, but just to give you an idea. I had a healthy pregnancy, healthy baby, am in good shape and everything was a textbook perfect experience, including going into labour on my due date. Then I got to the pushing stage, the contractions were too weak to deliver, even with the drip I was pushing for 4 hours. Baby and I both started having heartrate issues. Doctor was preparing for intervention when I finally gave birth. If I hadnt gotten the drip the baby would have gotten stuck in the birth canal too long and suffered lifelong damage, and even with the drip it was by a narrow margin that I gave birth unassisted to a healthy baby. Afterwards I had too much bleeding even with the shot and had to be monitored.

No. 276156

>>214898
everyone should use cloth diapers. Disposable diapers are completely hellish. Plastic that never ever breaks down and what purpose did it serve? Being a literal shit bag. I hate disposable nappies.

No. 276181

>>276156
Do you use cloth diapers?

No. 276183

>>276156
Sounds like something written by an adult who uses diapers.

No. 276200

>>276156
I am all for using as little plastic as possible and recycling, but being a new mom is already hard enough and I will honestly just use whatever conveniences we have available in our modern world to make it a bit easier on myself. If you want to take the time to scrub shit out of a diaper you can do that, but don't judge others who don't have that energy.

No. 276276

>>276200
You can get disposable, biodegradable liners

No. 276279

>>276200
That anon radiates the same enrgy as men who bully women for using tampons/pads while collecting shitty plastic toys himself.

No. 276386

>>276279
I don't agree with the anon but this is stupid. You can disagree with someone and they can still be a woman kek

No. 276637

Went for an ultrasound today (I will be 32 weeks on friday) and was diagnosed with a short cervix. It went from 4cm to 2cm sometime between this and my last appointment, which was 6 weeks ago. So now I am of course terrified of early labor and have been forbidden to exercise, have sex or really do anything that is stressful. It sucks because we are moving in early August and I won't be able to help much at all.

Also the no sex rule really bothers me, I understand that sex can cause early labor so we will of course abstain, but it just pisses me off because (hopefully) I won't give birth for another 6-8 weeks and then we can't have sex after the birth for another 6 weeks so it's over 3 months with no sex. We have a relationship where we have sex every day and we are very happy that way, neither of us masturbate and I am very grateful that I have a moid who doesn't jerk off to porn and gets all of his release with me. We never had to go through such a long stretch without sex other than in the very beginning of our relationship where we had to be long distance for a bit, I know we can still do other stuff like oral but I am scared that it will be frustrating for him and he will be tempted to find other ways to get off that don't involve me. Does anyone have experience with this? How do you deal with it?

No. 276639

forgot to bump

No. 276910

>>276637
Sex is fine but A LOT of sex will put you into labor. I had sex 1-2 times weekly from 30 weeks and on and I was still overdue. Don't let them induce you early or give you a c section either unless it's life threatening since a lot of doctors will call for those over every little thing

No. 276917

>>276637
Porn is one thing but you don't get to ban partners from ever masturbating. You shouldn't want to either. As long as it's not excessive and as long as it's not linked to 'other activities'.. people have the right to access their own body and have a solo release every now and then.

No. 276919

>>276917
Men can't masturbate without porn though, they all think "jacking off" means using porn

No. 277096

What level of exercise counts as “strenuous”? During my previous pregnancy, I tried pressing multiple nurses about the definition and only got the most wishy washy non-answers in return. It seemed like everyone was scared to give me the green light to do any exercise other than “walking” despite having a normal, healthy pregnancy and a completely average bmi. I ended up mostly “walking” a lot (which I already do) and, as a result, gained a ton of weight. Most was water, but at the very end I had still gained almost 20kg. The doctors clearly thought I was lying about the food I ate, even though I kept to a strict 1500kcal diet and daily weight journal.

I’m planning on getting pregnant again soon and I’m worried about this happening again. I lost the weight pretty quickly the first time, but my joints were so fucked up from the experience. I just struggle to keep my weight down with diet alone, it’s like my body is constantly readjusting to a maintenance. Also, I just feel like shit when my body rests too much. Does anyone have any experience keeping up a more normal exercise routine throughout pregnancy?

No. 277106

>>276910
My doctor explicitly told me I can't have sex, so yeah that sucks.

>>276917
basically what >>276919 said, men don't masturbate without porn use

No. 277107

>>277096
What I have been told any exercise that you did before the pregnancy is what you can also do during the pregnancy. You can't suddenly go from no exercise to a full work-out when you are pregnant. But if you work out regularly before pregnancy you can keep that level up, but not go any harder than that.

No. 277140

I got a PUPPs rash and I wouldn't wish this upon my worst enemy. Has anyone else ever gotten this? I feel defective.

No. 277145

Appropriate punishment for a baby that threw up on your Valentino clutch bag?

No. 277184

>>277145
Don't let the baby have their first pair of Louboutins until age 18.

No. 277279

>>277107
calling doubts on that bc I could do 30 squats and 3x20 donkey kicks on each leg and more exercises multiple times a week no problem before pregnancy and since like second trimester I can barely stretch my leg up like that and I break out in sweat and can't do stuff rest of the day after like 10 squats. Anything that needs even just slightly abs/core support is just not doable or only with huge pain lol

No. 277282

>>276919
Sad to hear about your moid but speak for yourself only please. Also not being able to do penetration doesn't mean no sex. You can still make him rub you/lick your clit till climax, and you can give him pleasure also. Or be cuddling/making out while touching yourselves, you can spice it up by telling each other lewd things into your ears during until you can't hold it. Intimacy can take so many forms, are you seriously that uncreative you think jerking off alone or watching sex videos is a normal "substitute" or w/e when you have someone to make love with right there?

No. 277334

>>277282
>speak for yourself only please
Nta but the OP said that her man also has that problem, I don't get why you're giving her all of this advice instead of the anon who originally vented.
>are you seriously that uncreative you think jerking off alone or watching sex videos is a normal "substitute" or w/e when you have someone to make love with right there?
Kek, you're acting like anon is OP's moid. A lot of men do think it's a normal substitute.

No. 277410

>>276919
my scrote uses his imagination to masturbate, i know for a fact he hasn't watched porn in several years. it's possible
>>276637
there are definitely ways you guys can get each other off, like mutual oral or masturbation. if you can't get off from just that (especially when theres potential to make things more arousing by increasing the excitement over when you finally can have sex) then thats a separate issue lmao

No. 277548

>>277107
I exercised on and off before pregnancy but during pregnancy I focused on squats and the "cat" yoga pose and it helped me bounce back like a rubber ball even though I was pretty skinny fat before

No. 277553

File: 1658627915991.jpg (48.93 KB, 1023x682, depositphotos_74324459-stock-p…)

I can't even afford to think about having kids, but my daydreams about having twins is getting stronger.

No. 277554

>>212495
>>212465
is this the source of boy mom fever?

No. 277562

>>277554
Most likely. Unstable boymoms are the absolute worse. At least unstable girl moms tend to just be cheerleading mom karens or something, boymoms tend to have a weird borderline incestuous relationship with their sons and get weirdly controlling when their sons start dating. I also suspect this is why 90% of "crazy mother in law" cases tend to be the husbands mom

No. 277602

My boyfriend and I have talked about having children and we seem to line up about when we want to become parents. I'm about to turn 30 and I know I want children before I turn 35, he's 2 years younger than me and he said he would like to be a father in his early to mid 30s. We are still in the early months of commitment, but it was really nice to find someone who is willing to be open about what he sees in our relationship, even so early on. Like, it's I'm certain I'm not wasting time. Before I met him, I was open to adopting out of fear of pregnancy and I started getting over that before meeting my boyfriend. Now I really have no fear.
I think the only thing I fear now is the feeling of being unprepared. I look at parenting videos whenever I come across them on TikTok. Even before TikTok, I would always fantasize about how I want to approach tough subjects with my children, because my parents weren't there to do that. Even little things, like teaching a child how to eat, potty train, and crawl. Raising an individual and letting this little person understand their humanness. I think about this at least once a week. I cannot wait to be a mother someday.
Right now I am having some more baby fever than usual because I saw a coworker in their car taking turns holding their baby with their family. I also have a cousin I grew close with who just became a father and I haven't had the chance to visit his family and see their baby in person. I am eager for the moment I get to hold a baby of my own, along with seeing how my boyfriend will act as a father. We have extremely similar views on how we want to parent so it is exciting to daydream about.

No. 277606

>>212465
When you get pregnant with a boy or girl, you get their cells in your body but since boys have Y chromosome and girls don't, it's easier to prove chimerism with boys because a woman wouldn't have cells with y chromosome normally so seeing y chromosome in a mother would be enough to prove this.

I think I read on an article that fetal chimerism boosted the immune system regardless your child's gender(even though m*les think it's only for boys because they don't understand shit) so it's a positive.

No. 277610

>>277602
I also started getting baby-fever really bad around 28-29 and now I am 30 and our bun is almost done cooking and due soon. Good luck, nonnie!

No. 278318

File: 1658965199210.jpg (101.2 KB, 2400x1600, ollie-1.jpg)

-not my baby-
I wanted to let everyone know I got the Ollie swaddle and I fucking love this thing. It makes her stop crying within seconds and is really helping with PURPLE crying. It also comes with a helpful laundry bag and instructions and I washed it twice with no pilling or anything. Def recommend if you got a colicky baby

>>275305
I got this too from the container store and I can't get enough of it. The pre soak and fabric spray from the laundress are also great

No. 278319

>>275526
had NICU twins and the owlet helps ease anxiety but if you don't put it on right you'll get lots of false alarms

No. 278501

WHY do mom blogs glorify being an overproducer? I'm literally engorged 24/7 and need to pump and feed everywhere hour to prevent mastitis. It's so painful and not good . What's wrong with making just enough milk for your baby?

No. 278591

For people who have had a kid already, did you notice any changes in your personality or way of thinking? Or did your partner/friends notice a change? My husband and I both have really neurotic and overbearing mothers and one of my biggest fears about having children is turning into someone like that and not being able to stop it. I read shit about how your brain shrinks when you're pregnant and PPD and women losing all social connections because they get so wrapped up in their child and it just scares me. The effects on my body don't really bother me, it's the idea that I could be twisted into a bitter or psychotic mom against my will that terrifies me.

Like obviously your life gets restructured around a baby's needs, but do you still feel like the same person? Do you find yourself getting angry or upset easier, do you lose interest in the things you liked before? Can you still enjoy the hobbies you had before motherhood even if you don't have the same free time? Were there things you swore you would do or not do before motherhood that you changed your mind on after?

No. 278599

I've had baby fever for years but I am actually scared of being pregnant.

No. 278644

>>278591
You're a lot less self conscious when it comes to doing this like talking about poop/pee, being naked, having a messy car, etc. Of course it's always a good thing to be clean but I use to go out of my way to avoid any of this but I don't really care now. I keep everything clean still and be polite but im way less anxious

No. 278669

>>278591
Honestly nonnie, it depends on the woman. My mother is also overbearing and neurotic. Swore up and down I'd never be like that, fortunately I didn't become like her. If anything, having my daughter helped me become the best version of myself. You have to set aside your ego a bit, but do not sacrifice all of your time and energy to your child. Taking time for myself (usually when the kiddo is asleep) has helped so very much. Having a partner who is like minded is extremely important to your mental health and growth as well.

Until I held my daughter in my arms, I was an absolute nervous wreck. Was I going to fuck up? How do I even take care of this tiny creature? Is my life going to change and will I become unrecognizable?? So much concern and fear. Then, after all the screaming, blood and pain… there she was. Safe, in my arms and everything just settled in place. All of those fears melted away and I knew everything was going to be alright. I still get worried but that's normal. Talk about it with your partner or support network. Always.

No. 278734

>>278591
I am way less shy now, but for some reason before, I could ride a roller coaster and now I’m deathly afraid to.

No. 278743

>>278669
NTA that's one thing I'm still fearful about, those moments where you feel existential because so much of your life is now focused on a blank slate person. I just don't want to fuck anything up, but I also have to put into the account I am a complex human being and so is everyone else. And the other thing is wondering how my partner would react to this reality that is now our child. Just a lot of uncertainty, but I know I feel certain he'll be a good father. Definitely better than many other men I've run into in life.

No. 278748

File: 1659167862785.jpg (63.34 KB, 609x429, 14886c733c1b55401ab2882a8cca22…)

>>278501
There's a subset of moms who are OBSESSED with hoarding. It's one thing to be prepared but a lot of it's just wasteful. Freezers full of breastmilk that will likely go back before the baby even touches it. Diaper packs that will never be opened by the time the baby is potty training. Enough clothes for the baby to have a new outfit until it grows out of that size and a ton of bathing products that will take years to use kek. My baby is almost three months and I barely even finished using sample bottles the hospital gave me. I also have a ton of bottles that just create more stress since I only ever use a handful at a time and it just takes up space. Babies really don't even need that much but if you're going to splurg on things like body wash and stuff at least buy quality items and not Johnson's and Johnson's trash

No. 278755

>>276141
FYI I had a home birth with my first and I’m the only woman in my NCT class (lessons on how to take care of a baby) to not have any complications. Everyone else who had a hospital birth ended in c section or some sort of traumatic intervention. Of course it depends where you are from and what health care is like in your country, but I wouldn’t write off a home birth for your first if you are a low risk pregnancy.

No. 278762

>>278748
I'm tracking my pregnancy through the Flo App and it is fucking ridiculous for this stuff. There'll be a thread about 'baby bare minimums' or something and women will be posting rooms absolutely crammed to the rafters with stuff for children they haven't even conceived yet. And then because it's against the rules, any comment other 'WOW LOVE THIS FOR YOU' or 'This is manifesting. Praying for you to conceive soon hon xxx' isn't allowed. These women need serious help

No. 278768

>>278755
It is baffling that you are posting this without realizing how incredibly lucky you got and how common complications are. If you had been one of those women who needed an emergency c-section or intervention you might not have your baby right now.

No. 279109

>>278768
Those things are CAUSED by stuff like inducing and epidurals, you know that right? How do you think people birthed people for thousands of years?
In the animal world, when the mother is about to give birth she seeks a safe and quiet shelter to be alone. How sheltered do you think you feel in a space with cold flouroscent lights, a bunch of overworked staff wearing masks, fucked up sickness vibes and a bunch of ugly, beeping machines? It's the most dangerous place to be and trying to force birth there will NOT come easy and naturally.

No. 279375

>>279109
Nta but I was in labor for the entire day and haven't dilated one bit, my blood pressure was constantly high because of the pain. My baby would have been dead if I didn't induce and get an epidural. Infant and maternal mortality rates were extremely high back then before hospitals were a thing and they still are very high in countries where home births are common. Do you even have kids?

No. 279390

>>279109
>How do you think people birthed people for thousands of years?
Do you think they never had complications or something?

No. 279391

>>279109
For thousands of years many men got married twice because their first wife died in childbed. For thousands of years farmers didn't even give their kids names until they were 5 because it was so common for babies to die. You are fucking retarded and you are giving retarded advice.

No. 279393

>>279390
Samefag, but maybe just to add something constructive maybe OP >>276044 should consider a birthing center. It's a middle ground between home and hospital.

No. 279394

>>279391
Anon is probably either male or doesn't have kids. I noticed it's much easier to judge women harshly for epidurals, c sections, induction when they don't have children themselves. They act like women just get a million interventions just for the fuck of it and as if there's something wrong with interventions. Childbirth is fucking BRUTAL on your body. You need a c section, induction, epidural, etc? Then so be it to help keep you relaxed during the process, induction is much healthier than being 2 or more weeks overdue. Epidurals are healthier than screaming until you pass out with your blood pressure through the roof. c sections are better than the baby halfway dying trying to come out

No. 279401

>>279394
Either male or someone very young and naive and probably crunchy hippie type like that cow from /snow/ who doesn't wear shoes. Women in thirdworld countries would kill to have the privilege of a whole team of doctors surrounding them to make sure that both baby and mommy survive and are healthy, but dreadlock Willow whose entire nursery is gender neutral beige wants to give bath at home in her bathtub and risk her babies life and her own just so she can brag about it on Instagram.

No. 279416

>>279401
I've seen plenty of crunchy moms do a 180 when they end up having kids and understand how it actually is. Mrs Midwest was like this and pre pregnancy acted like she would be a perfect broodmare, have a birth with no complications and then breastfeed no problem. She ended up having fertility issues, traumatic birth and got a c section 2 weeks early for her second pregnancy and was unable to breastfeed, then she never had anymore weird boob and hip sperging or anything like that. The world has a weird way of humbling out these people who don't know what they're talking about

No. 279537

I'd like to have a kid one day so i have this question. Do you nonnas pierce your baby's ears? I had my ears pierced when i was a baby and every girl my age and youger had too as i remember, but i let the earring holes fuse together because i don't like earring as an adult. Do people still pierce their baby's ears these days or let them choose when they're older? I wonder if it'll be weird for people if i don't pierce my baby girl's ears.

No. 279538

>>279537
No, this hasn't been a thing for at least 20 years. If your child wants their ears pierced they can just ask for it when they are old enough to make that decision. Doing body modifications on your child without their consent is cruel.

No. 279552

>>279537
Was this inspired by the discussion about it in /ot/ yesterday? Anyway, it does happen here sometimes but I'd say in general more people are against it than in favour of it. Personally I think it's not a modification big/impactful enough to be considered cruel but I'm more so not in favour of it as to not force my/society's idea of (capitalistic) femininity on a babygirl. Not that I see the point of it anyway, if she wants earrings later in life she can totally deal with the mere seconds of pain it takes to pierce the lobes.

No. 279561

>>279552
i had no idea there was a discussion, it's been on my mind for a long time. Anyway that's good that people don't do it as much.

No. 279562

>>279538
Cruel is an over exaggeration honestly anon.

No. 279595

>>279552
Punching holes into your child for no reason is absolutely cruel, wtf is wrong with you?

No. 279604

>>279537
Are you Mexican? The only other girls I’ve known around my age and younger who had their ears pierced as babies/toddlers were Mexican. My mom and aunties had their ears pierced pretty young, although even my grandmother and her sister were against it back in the 60s top kek at my great grandmother doing it herself while baby sitting

I think the people who still do it feel strongly about it, but they’re an extreme minority. And outside of the cultures that do do it, I think most people see it as cruel and bizarre.

No. 279614

>>279552
Please don't tell me you're the fakeboi who thought buying bows was worse than literal misogyny

No. 279616

>>279537
My cousin did it to her one year old daughter but I thought it's unnecessary and painful, just so the mother can think its "cute" or whatever. Once they're old enough to ask for them they can get it.

No. 279617

>>279604
ntayrt but I'm black and my mom did it to me and my sister, and my friends of the same race also had it young

No. 279621

>>279617
I'm Med but lived in the projects and my parents did this kek. It's painful af and ridiculous to expect children to follow proper care for piercings kek

No. 279622

>>279621
Nta but why didn't your parents just take care of them? I had mine done as a baby so there really wasn't any other choice but for my mother to take care of them, but I thought it would be the same for children.

No. 279632

>>279595
Earring holes are next to invisible, don't impact health and don't cause any discomfort or otherwise have any negative impact besides a moment of pain a baby won't remember. I don't think it's the right thing to do but calling it cruel is cheapening the word. You know what's cruel? Female circumcision on baby girls. That still happens to millions of girls in 2022 which severely affects the physical and mental health of girls/women and can even lead to death but by all means keep calling an insignificant tiny hole in the earlobe cruel, sure.

>>279614
I have no clue who or what you're talking about.

No. 279636

>>279632
It's extremely painful to stick a hot needle through the ear. There is literally no reason for doing it other than mom thinks earrings on baby look pretty. It is absolutely cruel to inflict unnecessary pain on your child for cosmetic reason.

No. 279637

>>279622
She soaked then in alcohol and the girls I knew in elementary school were told to turn the earrings every now and then. Earring infections were common af it just feels like some weird useless maintenance thing for no apparent reason

No. 279639

>>279636
Why would the needle be hot? What are you even talking about anon

No. 279640

File: 1659646247936.jpeg (119.87 KB, 720x720, images.jpeg)

What are these NICU octopuses called? I got one when my baby was in the NICU and it was so cute

No. 279641

>>279639
Pretty sure it's the anon from the reddit thread who insisted bows were equivalent to child abuse

No. 279643

File: 1659646536338.jpg (94.47 KB, 750x750, il_fullxfull.1690860774_2tet.j…)

>>279640
Not sure if this is helpful, but they look like crochet octopi. You could probably easily find someone who sells ones exactly like these on Etsy or social media, with the curly tentacles and everything.

No. 279674

so I apparently have chlamydia, and I've had it for years, because the last time I had sex was 3 years ago, and now I'm afraid I'll be infertile. would I have known if I had PID? because I feel no pain.
I wasn't planning on having kids, but knowing I could possibly never have them because of an std really sucks

No. 279734

>>279674
I'm not sure, but they do a lot of screening for infections when you get pregnant. (Pee and swab tests) Reason being you might pass it to the baby. You having no symptoms might be a good sign though, so while it's a bit of a risk pregnancy it wouldn't be impossible, I think. Definitely need to be kept an extra eye on it before the birth.

No. 279787

>>279674
You may or may not. The symptoms can be mild and easily over seen. I’d take PID with a grain of salt though there’s no test and it’s basically the equivalent of we don’t know what’s wrong with you there must be inflammation or a virus we can’t find. The worry is that clap causes scarring leading to infertility which is then labeled PID. But it’s just the std virus traveling up and is treated with antibiotics. It’s still the clap. Did they give you a blood test or a biopsy? Have you had any symptoms?
Pain — ranging from mild to severe — in your lower abdomen and pelvis
Unusual or heavy vaginal discharge that may have an unpleasant odor
Unusual bleeding from the vagina, especially during or after sex, or between periods
Pain during sex
Fever, sometimes with chills
Painful, frequent or difficult urination

No. 279855

File: 1659769484601.jpg (69.09 KB, 720x825, 1659758982636.jpg)

What's an appropriate amount of picture time? You get branded as a careless parent if you have zero pics of your children growing up but I'm scared of being the mum with the camera always shoved in the kids face

No. 279862

>>279855
My parents took tons of pictures of me and I was born in the 90s, we have entire shelves filled with picture albums. I dont think my parents look like a camera, kek. It's a dumb thing to worry about.

No. 279885

>>279855
I don't think it's a dumb thing to worry about, like the anon above said. It depends on whether you take pictures for yourself or to show off your kid unnecessarily. Of course, every parent thinks their kid is special, and you want to have their important moments captured for posterity, but I think taking pictures everyday, and even more so sharing them on social media, is too much. I have had my dad take my pics as a kid, whenever he felt there was something special he wanted to capture, however the photos remained in the family,at most some were shown to relatives.

No. 279896

>>279885
She didn't mention anything about posting the pictures on social media. I assumed that it's a given not to do that, but I guess nowadays it isn't anymore.

No. 280012

How do you lose mom pooch?

No. 280045


No. 280145


No. 280846

I'm able to decide so much for the birth at the hospital and they're making me fill out a whole plan. Should the newborn get administered Vitamin K and ophthalmic ointment (antibiotic against eye infection)? They're optional, but are they really needed?

No. 280880

>>280846
Yes. Vitamin K can save your baby. A lack of vitamin K makes a fall fatal. There’s only been one adverse reaction in a newborn in Turkey. The baby was fine because your first allergic reaction will not be deadly.
The eye drops are up to you. It’s to prevent bacteria from down there from getting in the babies eyes and giving them pink eye. You can also just put a little breast milk in their eyes the first few days instead. I didn’t and went with milk and was fine.
>>Yes Vitamin k 100%
>>eye drops or breast milk your choice

No. 280881

>>280846
They're not "needed" per say but the eye cream is def suggested. becareful with the HPV vaccine because I got it with my first and she ended up extremely fussy the first two weeks and needed 3 ER trips

No. 281025

How the fuck do you take care of yourself with a baby? I feel like my baby is dressed to the 9s and having top tier skincare while all I do for myself is try to stick with a good diet for breastfeeding

No. 281027

>>281025
Do you have a bassinet? I used to lay it in the bathroom when mine was a newborn when she was sleeping take a bath. If you can get an afternoon and can afford it maybe get a haircut and get yourself a nice drink of some kind. It helped me. Do you have a baby wrap? I used to just strap the baby to me to brush my teeth and wash my face. Etc. focus on hygiene over aesthetics. Keeping your face clean and hydrated and your brows trimmed will make you feel a lot better and look more put together. Comfortable Lounge wear that I also felt good in was something I ended up investing in. I live in it. It’s easy and buying multiple sets means when one gets dirty I grab the exact same shirt or pants. No stress no color matching. Easy base colors. Soft fabrics. I like wearing a couple rings and a necklace and having my piercings matching because makeup free in all black or grey lounge wear with pulled up hair and a clean face I think it looks pretty decent. No mess no fuss. Easy. Then I just slip on a pair of black flats with supports in them to protect my feet.

No. 281075

i'm 9 weeks to the day and the fatigue is so insane, so is the nausea, but i genuinely cannot stand the food adversion! it makes me feel crazy hearing my stomach growl and yet when i eat it's almost as if my body is rejecting it. aaaah

No. 281103

>>281075
First trimester I couldn't stomach anything either, try sticking to juices and crackers and other very bland foods

No. 281120

>>281075
One of the few things I could eat and really enjoy in the first trimester was bread and butter and lightly salted oven chips.

No. 281334

Any other non-burger anons kind of sad that baby-showers are not a thing in your country? I watch a lot of mommy-vloggers on Youtube and they get almost everything they need for the baby gifted from family and friends, it's such a luxury. They just put whatever they want on a baby registry and then get it given to them as gifts.

My dad agreed to pay for a stroller, but everything else for the baby we had to pay ourselves, spending over 3.000€ on everything. It's just expected here that you buy things for yourself, you maybe get some gifts from family but it's mostly useless stuff like toys and plushies that babies can't play with until they are much older.

I really wish I had a big family that gave us generous gifts like that.

No. 281363

>>281334
The medical bills from having a baby here in burgerland are way more than 3000 euro, trust me, you’re still coming out on top.

No. 281527

>>281334
Americans are materialistic. Sure we had baby items but everyone fucked off when it came to baby crying, changing diapers, helping out around the house, etc. It's even worse if you're a first time parent and have no clue what you're doing. I'd much rather pay for everything if it meant getting actual physical help instead

No. 281562

>>281363
I pay 55% income tax, fuck off with that shit. You could get health insurance in the US for much less than what Europeans pay in taxes to get our "free" (It's not free, we still pay for it monthly) health insurance. Americans live much cheaper.

No. 281582

>>281562
This is stupid. Sure you can get health insurance for "cheaper" but insurances don't pay shit anymore. Giving birth will cost in the thousands along with insurance. I know a nurse who pays like $500 for insurance monthly and is still in debt for giving birth over years ago. I'd rather pay 55% taxes and have free healthcare instead of paying for insurance that doesn't even cover anything

No. 281588

>>281582
Yea I was paying $180 a month for my insurance and still had to pay 6k for giving birth. That didn’t include the ultrasounds and blood tests and copays. Probably cost me around $8k total.

No. 281603

>>281588

That's so crazy, if I lived in America I wouldn't be able have my daughter. We can afford it with help of family already only and the health system is completely free here.

No. 281612

>>281582
I could give birth twice a year in the US for the amount of money we pay in taxes every year. My husband and me still pay 1.000€ every month for our "free" European health insurance because we are both self-employed. Americans are fucking clueless about how things work in the EU.

No. 281613

>>281603
It's not free, if it's free for you that means you're probably unemployed. Taxpayers pay for your insurance, you're welcome. I wish I lived in the US and only had to pay for my own shit, socialized healthcare only benefits people who don't work and everyone else has to shoulder the cost. It's such a joke.

No. 281629

>>281613
nta but that's not how it works in the US. your insurance cost goes up based on the collective health issues of everyone using that insurance company, so you end up paying for everyone else anyway. and contrary to popular belief taxpayers also pay for government funded insurance for military personnel and people below the poverty line, so it's worse actually. average insurance in the US is 300+ a month for an individual, and most insurance requires thousands in copays before it actually pays anything or you end up spending 500 or more a month for yourself.

No. 281636

>>281629
We pay 1.000€ a month for two people in our first world EU country that Americans think has "free healthcare".

I just wanted some other Euros to share my annoyance with not getting treated special at a baby shower and getting free gifts and nice things from family, but amerisharts of course have to chime in to say "hurr durr you get free health-care tho" cause that's what you're told by communist trannies who think Europe is some utopia of socialized free medicine for everyone.

No. 281649

>>281612
Your income adjusts towards taxes though so it's not like you're making peanuts just to pay taxes. Americans have to pay taxes and shitty healthcare and don't even benefit from either

No. 281652

>>281636
>talk about America
>mad when Americans respond and correct you on how things really are
Lol

No. 281664

If there's white kinda hard bits inside of my nipples during week 32 is that colostrum or should I be concerned? It's hard to clean them with normal showering and I get them out with tons of soap, water and a qtip

No. 281683

>>281636
>amerisharts
i think you spend too much time on 4chan. also in response to your other post, it's not like the average american gets thousands of dollars worth of stuff at their baby shower. maybe stop watching mommy-vloggers. that's probably why you spent 3k on baby stuff.

No. 281702

>>281683
Nta but
>Get off of 4chan
>Stop watching mommy vloggers
Lol what? What 4channer watches mommy blogs?

No. 281773

>>281683
>>281652
This is why nobody likes Americans. You are so proud of being entirely ignorant. You're the ones who think Europeans get "free healthcare" and I corrected you. You constantly bitch and moan about how bad you have it in America yet you feel smugly superior and talk down to other people constantly.

"Oh you silly Europeans should be glad you get everything for free"
"…but we don't"
"AMERICA IS SOOOOO EXPENSIVE! YOU DONT EVEN KNOW HOW GOOD YOU HAVE IT IN EUROPE!"
"But… it's actually a lot more expensive to live here"
"SHUT UP I AM EDUCATING YOU ABOUT THE WORLD!"

No. 281803

>>281773
NTA but baby showers aren’t nearly the thing you see on social media. Both of you sound ignorant.

No. 281811

>>281773
no, you're the one who doesn't understand how american health care works. please don't have children, they will be stupid.

No. 281818

>>281811
Idc which one of you is right or wrong but I can't count the number of times I've scrolled past this thread and seen
>please dont have kids! coz they'll be dumb like you!
Over some petty lil disagreement. Nutty.

No. 281822

>>281811
Saying the same thing over and over with no relevance to the discussion sure makes you look like a high IQ individual instead of a dumb amerishart.

No. 281829

>>281822
Nta, but it's very clear that you just are looking for an infight anon. You have been ignoring any valid points that anons have been bringing up (like how baby showers are not the same for the average American as they are on social media, or how people don't really help with the baby after they're born) just so you can argue about who has it worse and keep spewing out insults. You decided to talk about American baby showers, so it's really dumb to be upset that Americans chimed in with their opinion on baby showers. If you don't want any non-Europeans responding to your posts then go post in the designated thread for that or maybe just don't talk about non-European countries and expect the people from that country to not voice their own thoughts. Baby showers shouldn't cause this much salt.

No. 281833

>>281829
The immediate comments were not about babyshowers but "but you should be happy you get FREE HEALTH CARE". You literally pushed the discussion into that direction because you are ignorant and misinformed about Europe. I specifically asked for replies from other Europeans, not Americans. The issue here is that Americans can never shut the fuck up even if they have nothing to contribute and are uneducated about anything outside of America.

But you know what, I am the one in the wrong for asking for empathy on a website full of sociopathic NEETs.

No. 281836

>>281833
>you
I didn't make any response to you about healthcare. It was one reply and not even the only one you got.
>The issue here is that Americans can never shut the fuck up even if they have nothing to contribute and are uneducated about anything outside of America.
Like I said, if you don't want anyone who's not European to reply to you, go post in the thread for that or don't talk about other countries and expect the people from those countries to not give their opinion.

No. 281874

>>281773
Kek you claimed an American paying 8k+ to give birth was less expensive than universal healthcare, nevermind that was a single thing and Americans avoid going to the hospital and doctor due to the pricing. You also act like the average wage in European countries isn't high due to taxes being high, so even if you're only getting 15 an hour after taxes that's still a lot more than Americans get with or without taxes the difference is the taxes actually go to benefit you. You euroshits use to mock America's healthcare all the time and brag about how much free/low cost stuff is handed to you simply because taxes actually benefits you, I especially hear this from the scandis mocking Americans. Now is suddenly sucks for you because you wanna be the oppressed one now?

No. 281889

>>281833
no one is going to feel sorry for you because your country doesn't 'do' baby showers, you're literally whining about not getting free things.

No. 281900

Ah yes, let's fight with each other, that'll bring the cost of childcare down. Use that energy you've got for each other for those broken systems.

No. 281902

>>281874
this, thank you. i'm the anon who originally told her she was mistaken about america's healthcare costs, i never said she had to feel anything about her own, she just sounds salty about nothing.

No. 281910

>>281874
>you claimed an American paying 8k+ to give birth was less expensive than universal healthcare
It is. We pay 1.000€ a month for healthcare. That's 12.000€ a year. For ameritards: 12.000 is more than 8.000. That doesn't even include taxes we pay, if you included that I could easily give birth twice a year in the US for what we pay here. Once again, you are wrong about "free healthcare" in Europe and that you have it worse in the US. The only people who benefit from free healthcare in Europe are people who are on government assistance… and guess what? Those same people get free healthcare in the US too.

I have never once bragged about how great things are in Europe ever, it absolutely sucks here and the people who do are either leeches of the system (unemployed) or teenagers who still live with their parents. Also probably a lot of LARPing Americans who are as ignorant as you.

>>281889
>you're literally whining about not getting free things
And you're whining about not getting free healthcare. Yeah, I think it's great that American mothers get things for free from their family and friends as well as are celebrated and get a whole day dedicated to them. It's a luxury that apparently you don't know how to appreciate.

No. 281949

>>281910
Your heathcare is not universal if you have to pay 1,000€ for it per month dumbass

No. 281951

It's nice to get free things at a babyshower but depending on your family and social circle you somtimes pay much more total for babyshower gifts for others over the years than you would just getting the items you want for yourself. Especially if you have just one child and a lot of friends with several children.

Don't know where babyshoweranon is from, I'm scandi, taxes are very high but scale to earnings and obviously cover much more than just healthcare. Scandinavia is a bad place to get filthy rich with your own business but great for everyone in regular employment

No. 282001

Nonas i am losing my shit. I got my first positive pregnancy test a few days ago and have been testing every morning just to be sure because I have major anxiety over it being a chemical pregnancy. I haven’t booked in with a doctor yet (I’m in the middle of transferring between GPs since my old one is in a completely different city) but I’ll be making an appointment by the end of this week. I’m nervous to tell my boyfriend because I don’t want us both being heartbroken if this is chemical, although I have literally no reason to believe it’s chemical. Am I just unhinged or do other people worry about this shit too?

No. 282014

I am in my first two week wait and it so surreal. Am I carrying around a whole person with a lifetime of growth and pain and love and loss, or is it just going to be a period like every other period in my life? How did you nonnas deal with the existential weirdness of waiting to know if you're pregnant?

No. 282030

i'm having a GIRL!!!!!!

i'm done! that's all i wanted! my husband is super happy too, he doesn't really care about the sex but he knows how much i wanted a girl and surprised me with a baby dress he bought and knew i'd like. i get this really emotional swelling feeling knowing that he's going to be such a positive force in her life. I never got to know my dad since he passed a while ago.

just wanted to post sappy stuff

No. 282032

>>282030
congrats nona!!!!!!!!! hugs hugs hugs!!! i hope your baby girl grows healthily!!!

No. 282047

>>282014
the tww is the worst. my first time i was convinced i was pregnany bc i had all the "symptoms" kek now i just try to relax and not think about it until around my period. it is really hard to focus on anything else though

No. 282049

>>282001
You should tell him anon. Even if you do have a chemical, at least then he can support you through it. Do you have communication issues with him generally because the idea you'd keep a pregnancy loss from your partner seems unusual to me.

Congrats BTW. First trimester is scary but you've higher odds of making it through than not.

No. 282122

>>282049

We’re actually really good communication wise, I think this is just me being a nervous wreck. I have a mini surprise reveal planned which is why I was waiting to tell him anyway, it’s just weird being the only one who knows right now.
Thank you! I’m definitely just being a bit crazy kek despite what it seems, I’m actually super excited and thrilled!

No. 282124

>>282030
Aw a baby farmer, congrats and all the best to your family!

No. 282143

Not my baby but my brother and his lovely wife just had a little girl, they live in another country so we are going to organise to fly over in September to meet her. I can't wait!

No. 282146

>>281910
Giving birth once and paying thousands=/= paying a thousand each month and having your wages scale so you can see the doctor whenever you want without going bankrupt

Anyway fucking choose one euroshits. Is America shit tier with healthcare or are you being driven to your last penny in taxes?

No. 282197

Did anyone take/plan on taking early maternity leave? I'm thinking of going around 33/34 weeks to have some time to myself before the birth (never going to have it ever again), just like to hear other anons experiences

No. 282224

>>281949
euro anon is braindead and talking about paying in income tax, even though americans pay into health care via income tax also, and on top of that pay for their personal privatized insurance and copays and pharmacare on top of that. she is angry that the euros coming out of her taxes may be paying for universal health care for others without realizing america has low income taxpayer funded health care, that private health insurance rates are at the insurance companies discretion, and that insurance companies raise the rates based on how much they cumulatively pay out to all insurance members. for example states with high obesity tend to have higher insurance rates because obese people go to the doctor more and insurance companies lose money from that. so they make their healthy members pay more so they can profit.

No. 282247

>>282197
I did two weeks before my due date. I don't regret it at all. Gave me time to do things and rest.

No. 282280

I keep dreaming about babies

No. 282311

>>282197
I quit my job in the 3rd month after vomiting there twice and feeling like I'd pass out. I have absolutely no idea how nonnas do it up until the 30ish week, where I go buy a couple of things in the supermarket and feel completely spent for the day. To be fair my work was a bit physical and not the typical chill office job, but still.

No. 282350

>>282030
>>282032
>>282124
Your husband is gonna leave and cheat on you while you're gonna be too busy taking care of your daughter. Mark my words.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 282353

>>282350
Feeling jealous are we troon? Kys

No. 282480

A few months ago my boyfriend told me about how much he loves kids and it has given me the absolute worst baby fever of my life. I’ve had it come and go over the years but it was always a short phase. Now I’m seriously considering it. I have some family friends who have an elementary school aged daughter and he was great with her. The two of us spent some time entertaining her while our parents talked and it was a lot of fun doing that together. It also made my fever a million times worse. We are in no position as a couple or individually to even consider this right now but I feel like I could have a future with him and the more time we spend together the stronger the feeling gets.
I grew up with the feeling that men only had kids because ebil femoids forced them to but seeing a man who seems like he would be an active part of his childrens lives has given me some hope that I can create the loving family I never had.
I had a dream last night that he had gotten his ex pregnant before we got together and she was having his kid and I got so insanely jealous kek.

No. 282493

>>282480
Get married before you have kids.

No. 282497

>>282493
Oh yeah I’d never actively plan to have kids while not married to someone. I’m not ready to have kids for another few years either, I just think he could be a good choice.

No. 282601

I'm lesbian and would like to have a biological child one day. Sperm donation to lesbian couple is legal in my country but I'm very torn on the moral ( to the child ) aspect of it.

I come from a family who's ethnicity on each side is very defined and we can trace back which features we share with an ancestor. As someone who grow up in a different place than the rest of my extended family it helped me accept a lot of thing about me, seeing I share them with family members. It particulary hit me how important it is to someone who did not have that chance, since a few years I have been a close friend with a classmate who was adopted at birth. When I showed her family photo and talked about my ancestry she was super interested, as for her she doesn't even know the tribes of her parent, and still joke about her biological mother, is proud she look like a royality from her birth country…etc. She is proud and look up to people in her adoptive family, but she is still hurt from not having that biological link, and is still very ongoing on understending her identity… I also know another adopted child since I was little and he has still difficulty socially placing himself ( he is very shy ), and I remember he and his mom being akward or even hurt a little when people of the kid's race would talk to him and ignore his mom (it happend a lot).

Even if I choose a donor who is of a similar ethnic group, the fact his 2 parents are woman is going to lead to him being socially treated like an adoptee, but with the shadow of the donor in his life. Not given by a woman or couple to the care of another couple because they know the child will have a better life but being alive because of a man every body know exist the moment your parent enter the picture.

There was a woman in my family who raised a child she had without a partner, the child is going well as far as I know and I'm lucky to have mens in my family who are exemple of good males figure but still.
When I look up video of lesbian couple having kids like this and the paternity became a part of the discussion I alway see comments like "my mom got dumped by my dad when I was little but my uncle was a wonderfull father figure" or other situation where the biofather is out of the pictures due to infortunate event. But in this situation I have to make the choices knowing the consequences for the child by choosing sperm donation.
My desire for being able to bound with a child during pregnancy could be more important than my child social and psychological turmoil ?

sorry for the blog post but it has been running in my mind for some time

No. 282620

>>282601
Are there any men in your wife/girlfriend's family who you'd feel comfortable taking a donation from? A brother or cousin perhaps? I assume it would require a contract and legal considerations to prevent him from suddenly claiming custody, but may establish more of that close familial connection than a random donor.

I've thought of this as well since I'm gay and also part of a very specific cultural minority in my country, and my ideal is to marry/have partnership with a woman of a similar background.

No. 282623

>>282620
NTA but got into this conversation with an ex fiancé it didn’t end up working out with. My worry with that was always how would the child feel as an adult? Would they feel “cheated” finding out their biological dad was their uncle their whole time and like we were “lying”.

No. 282624

>>282350
Umm why did this user get banned? They just expressed an opinion.

>>282353
Threats like "kys" don't get a ban, then?? Odd.

>>282601
Honestly I feel like that's an issue of patriarchy. Not the fault of the parents or the child trying to make sense of this world. If people disrespect the mother because she's a woman, …then those people are at fault. And yeah obviously two women being married is going to clash with patriarchal values. Because they don't even believe lesbians exist.

If I had a dime for every time I heard a man suggest to a lesbian that she "hasn't yet met the right man"… These men will pretend to be 'progressive' and 'so supportive', but actually they always expect women to cater to men. And they get real angry when women choose to live without them. They even can't stand single women being single. It's so annoying how predittory those men are.

So yeah: we can raise a child without a man. As long as the child has a loving parent there for them. If the child has 2 loving moms, then what's the problem?


>>282620
Dunno I'd feel weird reproducing with the sibling of my partner. I'd worry that this could lead to eventual super weird love triangles and unneeded drama. I think it's better to choose a sperm donor who is not so closely related to my family, and who will not be around the child nor around me as much.

What's most important/relevant in a sperm donor is health (and good looks: genetic diversity). So I'd pick a male friend for that. Someone I know is healthy, leads a healthy lifestyle. But just a friend I'm not super close with. A male friend I don't see every day. Like a guy I can trust, but was never romantically involved with, and who lives far away from me. Ideally he would be married and have his own kids. (So he wouldn't have strong urge to be a father of my kid…).

But that's just my take on this.


>>281636
Wow that's a lot. Yeah I recently discovered women who give birth are given a huge bill just to give birth at a hospital/clinic. It's insane. I don't understand how women afford it. (Yes some have good jobs and are well off. But what do the rest of the women do???) So scary when I look at the expenses of the whole birthing process (considering a healthy diet and all other needed expenses). Like… why is reproduction come at such a price/cost??? Seems needlessly inflated. And the nurses who do most of the work at the hospital don't even see that money. Where the f* is it going??

No. 282627

>>282620
Sorry nonna I did not explain I'm not even in a relationship right now ! Only wondering.

Tbh it could be a solution to have someone from the parters family but it has a slim possibility of happening.

I feel you on wanting to marry someone of a similar background, the social aspect put me off a lot, I have huge cultural difficulty with women of a higher social class than me, or who have very little connection to a land. I never dated out of my race but even outside of my ethnicity it was difficult, I knew we where too different to build of a life together.

>>282623
That interesting, iv'e heard they say to tell the kid when they are old enought not to get confuse ( I guess when he his old enought to really understand biology ).

>>282624
There is obviously an aspect of patriarchy but the biology part can't be denied. I remember multiple time a week kids asking a friend in primary school why her little brother was black, and it continued for years, if kids know white+white= a black biological child is not possible ( unless rare case I know) and female+female= a biological child is not either, they will obviously point it out to the kid. Adult are just assholes if their mad about it but kids it's another story. The self confidence issues steming from not being able to reconize physical traits from his family for the child is also a big part of it for me, because it helped me a lot.

No. 282631

>>282624
It’s not really an opinion they’re just being miserable. The fact that you can’t see that is strange.

No. 282635

>>282624
There's a schizo sounding future-predictor type poster who has been ending their posts with 'mark my words' lately so I'm guessing its them.

No. 282739

>>282624
Telling an anon their boyfriend will cheat and ditch out of the blue in the future isn't an opinion kek it's scizo sperg

No. 282773

File: 1661000684290.jpg (417.41 KB, 3366x986, IMG_20220820_0756274 (2).jpg)

Nonnas, please help me. Is this positive or am I seeing things? I took the picture within 10 minutes of doing the test, if that helps. I don't want to wake my husband up to squint with me.

No. 282774

>>282773
I see the faint line but I'm not sure if that's an indicator that it's positive, hopefully an anon who knows more than me can chime in. Might wanna take a second test though

No. 282784

>>282773
Possibly weakly positive. Take another one tomorrow, hCG levels rise rapidly and you should have a more prominent line tomorrow if you are. 9 DPO is pretty early still. Will be holding thumbs for you!

No. 282806

>>282624
telling women that they are doomed to misfortune is actually not the based take you think it is. it reveals deep misogyny.

my post was 100% positive and they're theorizing my husband is gonna cheat and leave me. almost like they want that, it's incel/troon behavior.

No. 282875

It makes me a little happy seeing other nonas talking about their recent pregnancies/pregnancy attempts. I’m trying right now too. I wonder, will this thread be filled with new baby posts next spring?

No. 282957

>>282773
Is it a grey line or is there any pink to it? That brand has been getting terrible reviews lately for having indent lines visible without ever being used. If it’s pink, it’s most likely a very faint positive! Try again tomorrow or the day after when the line should be a little darker, or try a different brand of test if you’re able to get them (preferably pink dye tests!)

No. 282959

How did/will you tell your family/friends that you’re pregnant?
I’ve been obsessed with watching videos of other people’s pregnancy announcements, some of them are really sweet and heartwarming.
I’m really excited to share my news with my family but I’m waiting until I get a scan photo to do a silly little reveal.

No. 282973

File: 1661124727374.jpg (28.93 KB, 357x282, FRER 9DPO 10DPO.jpg)

>>282957
It's pink, and it got darker today. I also got a faint positive on a Natalist brand test.
>>282875
I hope you get your baby soon!

No. 282980

My baby was admitted to the NICU for a day for a minor reason (not even sick/injured) but fuck as much as I hate to say it I needed this kind of break so badly. She has colic and I've been dying to clean my house and decorate it, I have no family other than my husband and both of us have been struggling to care for her and ourselves especially with hectic schedules. I'm just happy I can finally clean, decorate and have a little spa day. It's just going to be a pain to pump since I'm an overproducer and my body doesn't respond well to pumps

No. 283035

>>282973
Congrats nonnie!

No. 283163

File: 1661218587393.png (148.39 KB, 651x893, image.png)

For pregnant anons who are probably getting sucked into places full of mothers who may or may not be shit but eager to give advice, I'd recommend reading up on the articles at http://fedisbest.com, e.g. https://fedisbest.org/2017/10/world-health-organization-revised-breastfeeding-guidelines-put-babies-risk-despite-pleas-experts-informing-public-not-top-priority/
I went down the rabbit hole this weekend, and holy fucking shit, new mothers are unironically starving their newborns en masse because they're urged to try exclusive breastfeeding at all costs even though delayed milk production is a very common issue and the medically acceptable weight loss guidelines among proponents of this (5-10%) put infants at risk of developing lifelong cognitive deficits and neurological issues.
There are a lot of nonscientific articles on the site, but the research e.g. on rehospitalization and birth weight loss rates among exclusively breastfed infants and within 'baby friendly hospitals' lays out such an absurd and unnecessary public health problem that it's hard to even believe, dios mio.

No. 283164

>>283163
And if anyone tries to use the 'muh hunter-gatherer lifestyle' to appeal to nature, communal breastfeeding was very common if not the norm in pre-industrial societies. As was failure to thrive

No. 283184

>>283163
Sorry I'm not a mother but Jesus Christ, I knew there were women who exclusively breastfeed but I didn't think there were women who still do it even if their babies are struggling. I know everyone has their own beliefs but it shouldn't get in the way of the wellbeing of your child.

Not really related, but do mothers who do exclusive breastfeeding use bottles at all?

No. 283187

>>283184
I EBF and pump then use bottles when I want to nap or I'm unable to be there for baby. Breastfeeding is hardcore as fuck. Breastfeeding can be easy if you have the proper milk supply but that's not reality for a lot of women for various reasons. It would definitely be easier taking the formula route but I really want my baby to get the antibodies, probiotics, etc. so it's worth it imo.

No. 283197

>>283187
Same as you. You also have to make sure you’re always well fed and hydrated. Fuck up your nutrients. You fuck up your milk. Women like Alice on Snow (she’s sick and that thread is horrible) who force themselves to drop weight right after are fucking their milk up.

No. 283247

>>283184
>I didn't think there were women who still do it even if their babies are struggling.
There's a LOT of pressure for women to breastfeed for as long as possible at all costs, especially in certain crunchy/''''natural''''''' parenting circles. If you spend any amount of time in these places you'll hear stories of new mothers jumping through ridiculous hoops to exclusively breastfeed or casually dropping that their kid had to be hospitalized for weight loss or jaundice. It's really fucked up. Exclusive breastfeeding is ideal where possible, but there isn't even reliable evidence that exclusive breastfed children have better outcomes (with some minor exceptions) than exclusive formula-fed children, let alone better outcomes than children whose diet is supplemented by formula. It's actually really fucked up if you think about it; there might be hundreds of thousands of children with avoidable cognitive deficits running around because their mothers were shamed into thinking that starvation is better than temporary or supplemental use of formula or donor milk

No. 283262

Has anyone done the MaterniT21 test? I'm skeptical that it won't simply give false positives. Is it a scam, or a helpful screening tool?

No. 283264

>>283247
>casually dropping that their kid had to be hospitalized for weight loss or jaundice. It's really fucked up
Jaundice/weight loss isn't exactly breast milks problem. My baby had both of these (jaundice was genetic from her father, weight loss was because she refused to eat)

We tried formula but ended up even worse than before. I also have an oversupply too. Sometimes its just normal but jaundice isn't very serious. Also formula has been sued for causing NEC. If you're using formula you have to be super careful. I breastfeed and pump but I keep a high end organic formula (that isn't Similac or enfamil) around just in case

No. 283275

Any other nonas thinking of doing IVF for the purpose of sex selection? I don’t want to be forced to raise a scrote.

No. 283276

>>283275
IVF was made by misogynistic moids and fertility clinics don't give a single fuck about women's health and will not do shit if you get cancer or premature menopause. Your best option would be to get the gender testing early and abort if it's a moid or just simply adopt a girl

No. 283289

>>283275
why not have a boy and raise him properly?

No. 283300

>>283289
Little boys are rambunctious and regardless of how you raise them, most older moids will groom him into being a shit human being just like him

No. 283306

>>283300
none of this is true though. you're describing a lot of socialization that you can, not socialize into him.

No. 283309

>>283306
NTA but a lot of boys raised by good parents, even feminist parents, still end up violent and misogynistic later on.

No. 283311

>>283264
A little over half of newborns have jaundice; the problem is when bilirubin is reaching dangerous concentrations and causing brain damage, as it is in these cases of starvation.
>Also formula has been sued for causing NEC
NEC is very rare (1 per >2000 infants) and most commonly found in preemies with very low birthweight fed specifically with cow milk-based formula (probably why hospitals prioritize donor milk for them), whereas there's evidence that something like 1 in 77 EBF newborns have to be hospitalized for starvation/dehydration-related complications. If a mother gives birth to a healthy baby isn't able to produce adequate supply/has delayed copious milk production it's a no-brainer to supplement given the cost-benefit analysis.

No. 283353

I told everyone who cared to hear about how I will give birth in a natural birth house (that's attached to a hospital, if any complication happens) and take no epidural etc and now I'm on week 36 and as I was packing the bag for the hospital I was overcome with nervousness and fear and I'm having second thoughts. I told husband about this and he was just like "don't worry I won't tell anyone" but kek yea.
Doesn't help that in the 34 week ultrasound it showed the baby has quite a size and head diameter and weight already above average.

No. 283355

>>283306
Anon kids need to socialize with other children other than you and family. Moids are predatory towards little girls on a creepy and sexual way and they're predatory to moids in the way of trying to normalize porn addiction, cheating, drugs, laziness, etc

No. 283356

>>283311
>as it is in these cases of starvation.
If you know it's common then why would you assume parents who are EBF are starving their child and causing jaundice?
>1 in 77 EBF newborns have to be hospitalized for starvation/dehydration-related complications.
Links please
>If a mother gives birth to a healthy baby isn't able to produce adequate supply/has delayed copious milk production it's a no-brainer to supplement given the cost-benefit analysis.
I suppose but for some women it's hard to tell the difference between colostrum and actual breast milk, not to mention plenty of babies simply don't want to eat much on day number one. If a woman has a good milk supply it's not fair to assume she's starving the child because of issues with weight, jaundice etc. Many babies simply refuse to eat and sometimes it can take over two hours for newborns to take a bottle. Not everything that's wrong with a baby is the mother's fault

No. 283360

>>283289
because moids don’t become misogynists because 'they weren’t raised properly', it’s other scrotes that socialize them into misogyny

No. 283362

>>283276
Source on that? Because it sounds like blackmail meant to force women to take cock at any cost.

No. 283369

Weird question but are there any anons here from abusive homes? I had an emotionally incestuous mother who was verbally abusive and sometimes physically. Also had a string of shitty stepfathers who hit me and said cruel things. I just can't shake this feeling that I'll make an inferior parent because I never really had a good stable parent myself. There was one stepfather who was absolutely incredible with me, we're still in touch and he's honestly a big inspiration for me in terms of parenting because of the love and patience he showed me. Problem is my mother was only with him for just under 3 years and after that I only got to visit him about once every two months at most, so the bad parenting experiences outweigh the good. I am in contact with my biological father also but things are so-so with him and I think due to meeting him in my mid 20s we just haven't bonded like we should, although I will say his wife is fantastic to me and is someone who's really there for me when I need her. I talk this through with my wife quite a lot and she tells me that I'm great with kids because I'm very involved with my three sisters (all under 11) but that's being a sister, not a parent. I'm worried I'll either be too emotionally distant because of the fear of failing or I'll go all in and become emotionally incestuous like my own mother. I don't even know what I'm asking here, but I'd love some input from anons who had similar abusive and unstable upbringings.

No. 283371

>>283360
If you have a good relationship with your child and communicate with them openly and positively always how would they fall into groomer hands like this. I swear girls on here make up possible future stuff to get upset/panic about that doesn't even happen in normal households

No. 283374

>>283371
anon sounds too stupid to raise kids if she thinks that, tbh. does she somehow think girls are less impressionable/inclined to peer pressure?

No. 283378

>>283362
Have you not been paying attention? IVF cycles can traumatize women due to likeliness of miscarriages and other complications, forces women to take a shit ton of shots and hormones while all men have to do is jerk off. Plenty of women have been sent into menopause with it,. Kourtney Kardashian for example. I swear to God some of you will support anything if it means pissing off other anons

No. 283379

>>283374
You sound too stupid in general. Girls can definitely fall for peer pressure but it's barely as common for women to be groomed by other women to be little shits

No. 283382

>>283379
please don't have kids.

No. 283383

>>283382
Are you going to explain or just say "don't have kids" on repeat? You'd hate to see what kind of retards are having kids nowadays if you think "men being groomed to be shitheads is more common than women being groomed to be pieces of shit" qualifies as "too stupid to have kids" territory. Seriously especially with the amount of child abuse, people having kids just for the purpose of abusing them, and everything else in the world and this is the shit you waste your energy on? Pathetic. Reminds me of the anons who thought bows were child abuse.

No. 283384

>>283382 nta but youre retarded, moids are usually influenced by shitty moids more than girls being influenced by other shitty women and girls, youre the one who shouldn't have kids if anything if youre that socially unaware

No. 283386

>>283383
>>283384
Nta but I think you shouldn't have kids because you're not going to be able to protect them.

No. 283388

>>283386
What does that have to do with protecting? No one said girls can't be influenced, we're just saying moids are more likely to.

No. 283397

>>283388
This is definitely not correct though. Women get influenced by both male and female peers. Plus they have a chance of winding up pregnant. And in this era, some places let kids troon out without parental approval. Anon shouldn't have any kids simply because she has no idea how they work.

No. 283398

>>283397
Explain then why sons would be more likely to call the girls who reject them selfish whores and why their internet history is filled with keywords like "lady parts" and "kill all women".

No. 283401

>>283398
It's almost like socialization is different for both sexes or something! The point is you can't control kids in general at all. If you think can't control a son as well as a daughter you're wrong.

No. 283405

>>283397
You sound like a moid who's pissed off that someone is calling out men. Nothing I said doesn't say "I don't know how kids work" I even agreed that girls can get influenced too but moids are much more predatory to make other moids shit, girls are often victims of moids in different ways. Stop taking things out of context just for the sake of infighting

No. 283406

>>283397
You sound like a moid who's pissed off that someone is calling out men. Nothing I said doesn't say "I don't know how kids work" I even agreed that girls can get influenced too but moids are much more predatory to make other moids shit, girls are often victims of moids in different ways. Stop taking things out of context just for the sake of infighting

No. 283407

>>283401
No? You really think that social influence could easily be fixed with good parenting? Plenty of food parents have had their kids shoot up schools, commit suicide, sexually assault people, in fact my abusive ex boyfriend had an amazing yet firm mother. Acknowledging the fact that socialization can effect kids and how moids are more likely to be socialized to be shittier isn't saying you can't control children. You're the one who shouldn't have kids if you jump to those ridiculous conclusions all because someone said moids are more likely to be conditioned by other moids to be shit regardless of how good of a parent you are.

No. 283408

>>283401
You will never, ever be able to control any child 100% even with expert level parenting

No. 283437

Why does it seem like there's moids her placing an ungodly amount of blame on women anytime their baby isn't perfect as well as advertising for industries meant to hurt women?
>SIDS is because the mum is stupid
>If you have a son and he ends up shitty it's because mum is stupid
>Jaundice and weight loss is because mum is stupid
Reminds me of moids who blame criminals moms instead of the criminal or people who influenced him

As for formula and IVF, IVF has been known to be invasive procedures requiring stuff that takes a massive toll on women's bodies meanwhile they do nothing to attempt to increase the moids sperm count and quality of sperm, not to mention the risk it is for fetal complications. Formula companies have been known to give third world countries formula until the women stop producing milk so they're basically starving babies. Not to mention the mass amounts of recalls and propaganda from formula industries. Low milk supply definitely exists but most women can produce enough milk or have the ability too and breastfeeding, even if supplemented with formula can reduce the risk of breast cancer

No. 283462

I hope this isn't too rude or anything, but if you're infertile, is your period short?

No. 283475

>>283462
I don't know if unfertile women have short periods always but I can tell you that having a short period doesn't mean you're infertile.

No. 283504

>>283462
No. Most women with fertility issues (PCOS) have very long, heavy and far apart periods.

No. 283549

>>283462
I heard that this might related, but at least for me it wasn't the case. Usually I would have 3-4 day long periods where on the 4th day I only wore a pad to basically catch spotting. Not using any birth control in years btw. However I've gotten pregnant basically right after beginning to try.

No. 283571

>>283504
I worded it wrong, I meant short length between periods?

I have long periods but short lengths between my last and recent periods

No. 283599

What’s the etiquette around a friend (work bff) who’s doing IVF and is very high risk for miscarriage? She only got one “good” quality embryo out of a prospective 21 eggs. I told her I was superstitious so I wouldn’t say anything for another 7 weeks and I think she would prefer that because she told me she wasn’t allowing herself to get excited until the second trimester, but I still want to check in on her and help her if she needs it.

No. 283634

>>283571
You have a short menstrual cycle then. It can be a sign of hormonal imbalance but there’s no real way to know unless you see your doctor. How short are your cycles (from the start of one period, to the start of the next)?

No. 283663

How did everyone decide when to tell family about a pregnancy? I know my husband is eager to share the good news, but ultimately is leaving the decision up to me. He wants to tell his family as soon as I'll allow because he sees it as good news that is a delight to share. I want to wait until I can't hide it anymore because of risk of miscarriage, as well as not wanting to be seen as an incubator, not wanting unsolicited advice and judgement, and because telling my family would absolutely mean that my employer would find out too, and I am not sure how I want to handle leaving work yet. If we tell one parent, we have to tell everyone.
>>283599
I'd check in with her without focusing pregnancy. Ask her about usual topics, work, relationships, etc. If she wants to tell you about IVF she can, and if she doesn't, she does not have to.

No. 283679

>>283663
I told my mom as soon as I tested positive cause we are very close and if I had a miscarriage I would want her to be there for me. The rest of the family we waited until we got the results from the NIPT about down syndrome etc. I think it was around 13-14 weeks.

No. 283839

>>283353
If it makes you feel any better, I gave birth without an epidural and came out the other end just fine. Epidurals are uncommon where I live, and I don’t know anyone who’s actually forked out the money to have one. The only time I felt like, “shit, I really should have tried it” was when my contractions were at their peak shortly before active labor. I feel like the adrenaline rush made active labor more tolerable than the contractions.

No. 283847

Do I really need prenatal vitamins? I'm taking 500mcg folic acid already, and when I look at the vitamin list in a regular prenatal the folic acid content is really low (50mcg or lower) and the rest of the vitamins seem to be the same a regular multivitamin. What else is essential? I know iron, vitamin D and calcium are pretty important but I get a lot of sunshine here in the southern hemisphere because I'm an outdoorsy person. As far as I understand the iron and calcium are more important during pregnancy?

No. 283848

>>283847
Pregnant women need higher dosages of vitamins and minerals than are in a common multivitamin. Just take it, what's the issue? If you can't afford prenatal vitamins you can't afford a baby. Also all prenatal vitamins are not the same, especially in the US most of them are quite shit so try to find a good one with high dosages from good sources or just ask your doctor what they recommend.

No. 283851

>>283848
kek, nice projection. anon was asking due to her lifestyle not due to finances. also, no, you don't really need prenatal vitamins, they're kind of a meme.

No. 283859

>>283851
"You don't need to take prenatal vitamins, just go outside". Ok crunchy hippie, enjoy your complications.

No. 283874

>>283663
>not wanting unsolicited advice and judgement
Well you can get a couple more months of quiet if you keep mum about it but you're absolutely going to get those for the at least next 15 years of your life lol

No. 283876

>>283847
I would get a blood test each trimester and adjust. If your morning sickness gets bad go B6 and allergy meds. It’s the combo they give you in the anti nausea meds. You need a much higher nutrient combo when pregnant so use the blood tests to tell, don’t guess. Messing up your calcium for example will have your body pulling it from your teeth which A hurts and B fucks up your teeth.

No. 283885

>>283876
it's a myth that you don't regain calcium, anon.

No. 284001

>>283848
Funny that you assume I can't afford prenatals anon, if you work on your reading comprehension you'd understand I'm asking about whether a prenatal is really any better than a multi or taking a few separate specific vitamins, especially because I'm already on the recommended prenatal folic acid dose. Vitamin D you produce when exposed to sunlight, just to clarify.
I've read that too much vitamin A is bad for baby, while most prenatals I've looked at have an extremely high level of vitamin A. So I'm weary of taking them and am thinking of taking iron and calcium separately. I'll do reading on it but was curious on hearing everyone's opinions here.
>>283876
Thanks for the suggestion, we have to do a shit ton of blood tests when pregnant to monitor these things in any case. Maybe doing general bloods before we start trying is a good idea, which will be in a few months.

No. 284024

>>284001
I was trying to figure out a reason as to why you wouldn't just take prenatals since it is recommended by every single doctor, the only reason I could see someone not taking them is if they are too poor. It's just such a dumb thing to consider otherwise. If you need extra iron or anything else your doctor will tell you as they do regular blood tests.

No. 284028

>>284001
Especially if your blood levels are fine, outside of folic acid I don't think you need to take anything. Calcium comes from milk and yoghurt and iron comes from beef and liver (of which you should eat more than usual anyways as they are densely packed with all sorts of nutrients). I hated the taste of liver, but it's okay if you buy it as fresh as possible and eat the same day you buy. Fried in pan with lots of onions or you can mix ground beef with a bit of liver that you grind/blend into something just short of a paste and if you make like bologna sauce or lasagna or anything like that out of it, you can't taste it at all.

>>283859
>people didn't give birth before invention of vitamins

No. 284029

>>284024
For example supplementary iron isn't even that good. Outside of the fact that many pills out there have a bunch of sus filler material, the reason it acts in your body is sort of like a stress hormone.

Autism incoming:

>"In the 1960s the World Health Organization found that when iron supplements were given to anemic people in Africa, there was a great increase in the death rate from infectious diseases, especially malaria. Around the same time, research began to show that the regulation of iron is a central function of the immune system, and that this seems to have evolved because iron is a basic requirement for the survival and growth of cells of all types, including bacteria, parasites, and cancer. The pioneer researcher in the role of iron in immunity believed that an excess of dietary iron contributed to the development of leukemia and lymphatic cancers. Just like lead, mercury, cadmium, nickel and other heavy metals, stored iron produces destructive free radicals. The harmful effects of iron-produced free radicals are practically indistinguishable from those caused by exposure to X-rays and gamma rays; both accelerate the accumulation of age-pigment and other signs of aging. Excess iron is a crucial element in the transformation of stress into tissue damage by free radicals.


>For about 50 years, it has been known that blood transfusions damage immunity, and excess iron has been suspected to be one of the causes for this. People who regularly donate blood, on the other hand, have often been found to be healthier than non-donors, and healthier than they were before they began donating.


>In one of Hans Selye's pioneering studies, he found that he could experimentally produce a form of scleroderma (hardening of the skin) in animals by administering large doses of iron, followed by a minor stress. He could prevent the development of the condition by giving the animals large doses of vitamin E, suggesting that the condition was produced by iron's oxidative actions.


>Excess iron's role in infectious diseases is now well established, and many recent studies show that it is involved in degenerative brain diseases, such as Parkinson's, ALS (Lou Gehrig's disease), Huntington's chorea, and Alzheimer's disease. Iron is now believed to have a role in skin aging, atherosclerosis, and cataracts of the lenses of the eyes, largely through its formation of the "age pigment.""


>"Some researchers are concerned that the iron added to cereals is contributing to the incidence of leukemia and cancers of the lymphatic tissues in children. [Goodfield, 1984.] During the time of rapid growth, children are less likely than adults to store too much iron. At birth, they have a large amount of stored iron, and this decreases as they "grow into it." It is after puberty, when growth slows and the sex hormones are high, that the storage of iron increases. [Blood, Sept., 1976.] In a study of the "malnourished" children of migrant fruit pickers in California, these children who were "seriously anemic" were actually more resistant to infectious diseases than were the "well nourished" middle class children in the same region."


>"Q.: Don't women need extra iron?.


>Doctors generally don't realize that only a few milligrams of iron are lost each day in menstruation. The real issue is that you can hardly avoid getting iron, even when you try.


>Women absorb iron much more efficiently than men do. From a similar meal, women will normally absorb three times as much iron as men do. When pregnant, their higher estrogen levels cause them to absorb about nine times as much as men. Every time a woman menstruates, she loses a little iron, so that by the age of 50 she is likely to have less iron stored in her tissues than a man does at the same age, but by the age of 65 women generally have as much excess iron in their tissues as men do. (During those 15 years, women seem to store iron at a faster rate than men do, probably because they have more estrogen.) At this age their risk of dying from a heart attack is the same as that of men. Some women who menstruate can donate blood regularly without showing any tendency to become anemic.


>Since the custom of giving large iron supplements to pregnant women has been established, there has been an increase in jaundice of the newborn. It has been observed that women who didn't take iron supplements during pregnancy have healthy babies that don't develop jaundice. I have suggested that this could be because they haven't been poisoned by iron. Those supplements could also be a factor in the increased incidence of childhood cancer."


Not to scare you sorry

No. 284030

>>284028
>people didn't give birth before invention of vitamins
NTA but that's during the same time period when deaths and other problems during birth were much more higher compared to now.

No. 284034

>>284029
Nta but I've always had very low iron levels. I had pica as a kid (the urge to eat things like paper/sponge/chalk and other things that aren't food) and when it persisted even as I got older I ended up getting tested for deficiencies as that can cause it. Iron was the culprit but I've never been able to take any form of iron supplement without it messing up my stomach in a major way. I've tried it all and it's harsh on your system. Ironic given my stomach could manage years of eating weird crap.

Much as I still struggle with fatigue, I feel like just getting it through diet changes is better than any massive amount they give you in pill or liquid form.

No. 284181

I’m 33 weeks today and I’ve been getting HUGE new stretch marks every day for about a week now around my belly button… it doesn’t make sense because my weight has actually been really stable. I guess it’s because my belly is growing? I do feel lower belly growing pains a lot but these stretch marks are really distressing. They burn and sting in the middle of the night when they’re forming and no amount of oils or creams has helped. I’ve taken collagen supplements throughout my pregnancy and I just don’t know what else I can do. I have had 2 major crying attacks lately over looking at myself in the mirror and I’m getting really depressed… not to mention anxious about actually giving birth!! What’s next, prolapse??? I guess I didn’t think I would get stretch marks like this.. they’re really bad. Will I have to have surgery to look normal ish again when I’m done having kids?? I just don’t see how I’ll ever bounce back even if they fade in color.

No. 284201

>>284181
Newly formed stretch marks look scary, but they will end up fading into white lines eventually, don't worry. They all start being this deep purple. I have gotten some heavy ones on my breasts, too despite using Bio-Oil a lot. It just be like that. Also maybe think of it that way: When a flower creates a fruit, its petals also dry and fall off, in order to give all to the sweet fruit. It's beautiful, it's nature - and your change is as well.

No. 284247

>>284034
Don’t have tea two hours within eating iron heavy food. The tannins block iron absorption. No calcium heavy foods like dairy at the same time the calcium block iron. Magnesium at the same time as iron if you end up needing them. Magnesium helps your intestines hold on to water. Iron pulls it away. Vitamin C boosts iron absorption. I drink yellowdock tea. A Chinese herb that helps boost my absorption. Iron is broken into two categories plant based and animal based you need 80% animal and 20% plant ideally.

No. 284249

>>284028
>people didn't give birth before invention of vitamins
There are still a lot of countries on earth where prenatal vitamins are unavailable due to poverty. Infant death, labor complications, deformities and birth defects are also a lot more common in those countries. There is literally no reason to not take prenatal vitamins if they are available to you.

No. 284259

Hello baby! Hewwo baby! Hey-wwo baybeeeeeey! Who’s my widdle pumpkin? Who’s my widdle pumpkinny-wumpkinny? Who’s my widdle pumpkinny-wumpkinny baby? Is it you? Is it you? Awwww it’s you!! It’s you!!! You’re my baby! Yes you are. Yes you are.(shitpost)

No. 284268

>>283353
I gave birth in a hospital-adjacent ‘birth house’ with my first, because I was nervous and wanted doctors nearby without immediately going full medicalisation. The obstetricians were pushing for a home birth (pun not intended) but I didn’t feel comfortable with that. One benefit of the birth house was that there would be access to other types of pain relief like nitrous oxide, and that if I did decide I wanted an epidural I could be moved to the hospital side pretty easily. The second time I had to give birth in the hospital due to minor complications. Both times I gave birth without an epidural and was totally fine. However both times when I did ask for pain relief, during the last few cm of dilation, it was apparently too late to get everything set up so I had to power through. Does the place you’re going offer nitrous? If so, and if you’d like to give it a try, it would probably be a good idea to notify them early on.

>>283839
Same here. I actually don’t think I know anyone who had an epidural. Active labour also felt almost like a relief because finally I could DO something and it would soon be over. I’m sure the adrenaline helped, too.
The second time the obstetrician wasn’t paying attention and told me to “hold it in” because I “wasn’t ready” even though the nurse had twice confirmed I was fully dilated and I felt a very strong urge to push. That was by far the most painful point of the entire labour and I still kind of want to kick that doctor.

No. 284440

Does anyone have any advice for managing food aversions in the first trimester? The thought of almost everything makes me want to throw up (even though I’m not actually feeling super nauseous) and I’m finding it hard to find foods that I can at least snack on. If I could sustain myself on apples for the entirety of this pregnancy, I’d be thrilled.

No. 284583

>>284440
I ate mostly fruit and cheese sandwiches in the first trimester, whatever works for you is good.

No. 284601

I’m really desperate for advice about insurance and I don’t know where to go for help. I’m in a huge mess… I got married this year and my step mom told me I wouldn’t qualify under her insurance anymore. She told me she filed to kick me off in April. I applied for Medicaid who said I qualified as I said I was uninsured. My husband at the time was making low enough income for us to qualify. Fast forward and I look into my recent medical bills and Medicaid is being billed as a secondary. My step mom did not actually take me off of her insurance even though she thinks she did because she sent someone in HR an email? I’ve tried calling Medicaid and BCBS about this issue and either speak to people who can’t understand enough English to help me or just keep transferring me to a supervisor until I’m on hold for so long I have to hang up (literally hours). Ok so I file to unenroll from Medicaid because my husband just got a great job that pays well (and it’s out of state which complicates things more because I’m actually still going to give birth in my current state im not moving out of state in my third trimester) He will be able to have insurance for our family…. About 3 weeks after my due date (has to wait 90 days for coverage to kick in) so I’m left with my step moms insurance.. that was fine until I read online that apparently they are not required to cover my actual birth expenses… just my prenatal care. I’m freaking out now because my husband and I are still broke enough that we cannot afford a 11000-13000 hospital bill. We just had to spend a fortune to move out of state as it is. Even though he will be able to provide a family plan for us will they cover my birth even after if it was weeks prior and out of state?? Who do I speak to about this? I called BCBS to ask and only got ahold of one person who could barely speak English and just kept asking me for billing codes not able to comprehend what I’m even asking. My step mother doesn’t really seem to want to correspond with her HR rep on my behalf for some reason and my dad keeps saying “ask the hospital” like a retard boomer. Do I need to have my husband contact his HR about this? Do I need to explicitly state that I’m staying with my parents in a different state temporarily to give birth with my doctor? Please help I keep having panic attacks about this and my life is so stressful I don’t know how to cope anymore. This is my first baby

No. 284603

>>284601
Also I did not mention that for some reason I’m still on Medicaid because they haven’t sent me any paperwork explicitly saying I don’t qualify anymore or asking for further information? One woman I was able to speak with did say I shouldn’t qualify anymore due to income but that I had to request unenrollment paperwork because my mailing address is in a different state than my actual address… and then said she couldn’t actually request the paperwork for me and transferred me to a line where no one answered for 2 hrs. I’ve since tried to call again and have been transferred again to a line where no one ever answers. It’s someone’s supervisor’s supervisor and I never get a call back or assurance. I’m so beyond confused and stressed that they will cover my birth expenses and then ask me to pay it back if I don’t technically qualify. They haven’t mailed me anything either. All I could do on the website was update my husbands income and our change of address.

No. 284812

I tested negative 3 day ago, but now that my period was due I got a positive on two different tests. Im simply shocked and in denial still. Baby was planned, but I was under the belief I was out for this month's cycle. Im overjoyed and absolutely terrified.

No. 284829

How can I start being more social as a mom? I want my baby to socialize but my husband and I are basically hermits. Where do people go with young babies? How do you make friends?

No. 284830

>>284181
I got pretty bad stretchmarks, but I am now almost 4 weeks postpartum and they are already starting to fade. Honestly, you stop noticing how bad they are with how busy you are with baby. Just keep moisturizing and try not to itch. If you can afford it, silicone gel patches or stickers work wonders if you remember to apply them regularly.

No. 284889

>>284812
Congrats!!

No. 284942

Can anyone recommend hiking pants for a terribly bloated stomach? I have a trip coming up in a few weeks and all of my pants already hurt to wear.

No. 284948

File: 1662140620100.jpg (401.97 KB, 1080x1067, Screenshot_20220902-194449_Gal…)

>>284942
What if you get really wide, stretchy shorts like pic rel? Or a jumpsuit? Not the classic type of activewear but it's all I could feel comfortable in wearing whole pregnancy

No. 284950

>>284948
A jumpsuit could work, or maybe some overalls. I need my legs protested because of ticks. Thanks for the suggestions.

No. 284994

Are there any tricks for settling down hyperemesis? I’m 12 weeks right now and nausea is kicking my ass. It’s not morning sickness. It’s everything sickness. I can’t even taste my neutral breath in the morning without feeling sick. Got prescribed zofran, and it stops vomiting, but not nausea. Is there anything else that can help? It’s supposed to go away by second trimester, but it’s still going strong.

No. 285000

Has any NICU parents ever gone home with an NG tube? Hospital is sending us home with one and training me on it and it makes me anxious as hell plus inserting it is a whole show in itself, only because baby is teething and is refusing to eat to the point of weight loss. It's usually only one oz I have to feed her since she doesn't take bottle breast milk supplementation well

No. 285027

Nonnas, I'm literally crying while reading this thread. I'm 24 and never had a boyfriend. Despite that, I want a baby so much and I want it before I turn 30. Why it's so hard? I don't even care about the money or anything like that, I can make it work. But I just can't find a partner to have babies with because of my crippling fear of men. Why do I even need a scrote to have a baby?

No. 285044

>>285027
I am 26 turning 27 and I'm pretty much on the same boat
at this point I want to have a one night stand, time it around my ovulation, and just get pregnant that way, without actually telling the guy.

No. 285095

>>285027
nona just get pregnant with donor sperm

No. 285395

How bad is nipple stimulation during pregnancy, really? I need it to get turned on and I'm nowhere near being far enough along that I could go into labor. Is it actually dangerous, or is it discouraged out of an abundance of caution?

No. 285407

>>285395
Unless you're high risk it doesn't do much. I stimulated my nipples to express colostrum starting at 26 weeks and nothing ever happened to me. In addition, countless women have attempted to induce their labor using nipple stimulation to no avail. If it was a powerful method of induction, providers would not induce using approaches such as pitocin or rupturing membranes, they would use methods of nipple stimulation instead.

No. 285412

looking at baby names, especially like cute norse/celtic/anglo-saxon girl names (I'm from England lol) that are ancient, it kind of annoys me how my parents gave me the most basic name ever
nothing that sounds so obscure that they would get bullied, but names like synne (anglo saxon meaning gift of the sun), or astrid (divinely beautiful)
meanwhile I was named after my dads coworkers kid, because they liked the sound of it. no thought.

No. 286357

Can I ask nonnas that had given birth already a retarded question I'm too embarrassed to ask at this point the midwife?

So does the birth go like this you just hang out at the hospital having waves of pain that you just have to wait out and endure every couple of minutes until they tell you that you're Ben and Jerry lid sized down there, and THEN you are supposed to push? And is the pushing a bit like when you're pooping, or? I'm confused because when I do kegels I feel like it closes me instead of pushing anything. Thanks,

No. 286358

>>285395
Honestly you're kinda gonna lose sensitivity/feeling there. But I'm at 37 weeks and a little bit of grabbing/rubbing it and having it licked and sucked on softly didn't make it release anything so I guess you're fine as long as you don't go overboard and try to squeeze anything out.

No. 286406

>>285395
There are studies that show that nipple stimulation causes uterine contractions and that it can hurt your baby if there are too many uterine contractions because it can effect the blood supply.s

No. 286458

>>286357
You’ll feel the urge to push when you get there. It’s an instinct because baby engages in pelvis and cervix dilates. It’s more like an intense period cramp that’s in the center of pelvis you crunch down on imo. You go the hospital when you hit one one one in your contractions. The pattern and duration. That’s considered active labor but you could have contractions for hours beforehand. I had contractions for 18 hours before I went into active labor for 6 more, the active labor is where my midwife came in.

No. 286540

>>286458
>24 hours straight
well thats reassuring, t-thanks

No. 286608

>>286540
My first birth was only 6 hours, start to finish. Active labor was maybe 20 minutes tops. I honestly spaced out during the contractions and thought it was even less time than that. It’s super variable nonna, so I wouldn’t freak out. Whatever happens is going to happen. I think there tends to be an over representation of super long or traumatic birth stories online though, because those moms want to prepare people for what they didn’t realize could happen. For myself however, I tend to never mention it unless specifically asked because I feel like I’m bragging or making light of the process (or worse, giving moids “gotcha” fodder to say that birth isn’t even a big deal etc)

No. 286719

>>286540
It wasn’t that bad anon. Labor is hard and it hurts but honestly I did my office hours the morning off with contractions going. They’re like little period cramps and muscle spasms every once in a while every ten to 15 minutes. Sleeping was the hardest and that was made easier with a heating pad on my lower back. It wasn’t until much later with active labor that it was painful. Hot showers with a padded shower mat felt amazing for relief. If using heat though you probably want a dopper to make sure baby’s doing okay. The shower mat was also very nice postpartum tbh. I even did it no pain killers and wouldn’t change anything. Your first baby normally takes the longest to come.

No. 286991

What are you all planning to do for birth control after the baby is born? Or if you already had a baby before what did you do?

I want to have 3 more kids after this one so I am very afraid of anything that can cause infertility or injury to the cervix/uterus like an IUD. I also want to breastfeed and I heard that taking the pill can really impact your supply and I also don't really want to feed my baby milk with artificial hormones in it. I hate condoms, the smell just kind of makes me nauseous and puts me out of the mood immensely, also my husband is circumcised so while he can still cum with a condom, it definitely lowers his enjoyment a lot. The only option left to me seems to be something like a diaphragm. We have sex every day so it sounds like a real pain in the ass and kind of a mood killer to insert that every single time. I'm really struggling with these options, any advice?

No. 286994

>>286991
Have you thought about spermicide and cervix discs or female condoms. Female condoms go in you and give both of you more room. Tend to feel better and come lubed. Don’t recommend the pill got talked into it. Didn’t impact milk but made my Post partum fucking awful when together.

No. 287005

>>286994
Yeah that is what I mean by diaphragm. It's what I am currently tending towards, it just sucks that you can't be spontaneous with it and have to insert it first. I feel like once you have a baby you need to take every opportunity you have to get in some intimate time and "SORRY I GOTTA PUT ON MY DIAPHRAGM FIRST!" seems a bit of a mood killer. Still seems to be the best option at the moment.

No. 287042

>>286991
>>287005
The failure rate of diaphragms is too high for alot of women to risk but if you want more kids and you're just trying to time it (ie it wouldn't be the end of the world if it happened earlier) then it might be the option to go for.

I have issues with BC. I asked about diaphragms back at a time when I really wasn't prepared to get pregnant. The clinic I went to was still like.. eh not a great choice for you then. They described pretty much your set of circumstances as being the only time they recommend it.

No. 287051

>>287042
Yeah I just want something for the 12-18 month they recommend waiting between pregnancies since it's better not to get pregnant immediately again before your body is recovered.

No. 287062

>>286991
Lactational amenorrhea can be as effective as condoms for the first six months and becomes less effective as the baby is weaned. For me it lasted about 12 months. I know because after my first pregnancy I wasn't sure what to do about contraception and before I made up my mind I found out I was pregnant again. It wasn't a big deal because we were planning to have more children and it ended up making more sense economically anyway.

No. 287176

>>286991
Honestly, it worked out fine for me to simply avoid sex or at least just do pulling out before he finished during the week around ovulation. But to be fair, my cycle was extremely punctual. I did get pregnant the one time we ignored the calendar though, so there's also that.

No. 287204

>>287062
That does NOT work since you can still ovulate even if you are not having your period. Plenty of women get pregnant again way too soon this way before the body can recover and that means your second child is more likely to have disabilities. It's recommended to wait at least a year between pregnancies (18 months in countries without access to prenatal vitamins and good nutrition).

>>287176
Yeah this wouldn't work for me because my cycle was very irregular all my life. I wish I could use this method.

No. 287269

>>287204
It works for the first six months if you follow the guidelines for LAM breastfeeding. My midwife recommended that I look into because I was indecisive about what contraception I wanted to use and I was concerned that hormonal birth control would effect my breast milk. My error was assuming that it would last longer if weaned my daughter more gradually.

No. 287809

Instead of nausea, I get terrible stomach pain. Eating vegetables makes it worse. What can I do?

No. 287899

i feel sure ill regret it if i don't have kids and would want to have 2 or 3 since i was an only child and it sucked. but i cant even look at pictures of pregnant woman, everything about it makes my skin crawl. then being constantly reminded by my body acutely and publically for at least a year, and chronically for the rest of my life. makes me want to destroy myself, its like an overwhelming feeling of violation and humiliation. Im 30 so i guess i have to sort it out asap but what the fuck

No. 287942

To the nonnies who already have babies: how did your relationship with your boyfriend/husband change afterwards? Did you love him less than before? Or more? I am honestly hoping a bit that I will love mine a little less because I am too obsessed with him and I have nobody else really, I am hoping having my baby to love and dote on and care for will make me care for him less so that when we fight it will hurt less cause he won't be my entire world anymore. Does this sound very insane?

No. 288275

>>287942
Please don't have children

No. 288284

>>287942
The fights will hurt more and it will be harder to leave after. Children will make it worse not better.

No. 288298

I have so much nausea and everything smells and sounds so gross. I can't even move without feeling the need to gag!

No. 288299

>>287809
Forgot to reply to you as well. Sounds like bloating and most vegetables can make you gassy. Try eating cucumbers and bell peppers. I think broccoli is one of the worst to eat right now because it causes major gas.

No. 288345

>>288275
this reply gets posted here a lot, but this is the time I agree fully

No. 288346

I can't believe I gave birth without anything, 100% natural. It was literally the most painful thing I ever endured and thankfully my mind is already starting to delete what happened a few hours later and it just feels like a hazy memory of screaming. Crazy what women can go through, why the fuck are men considered the sex for warriors and all?

No. 288599

Anyone else quite shocked at how cheap having a baby actually is? I heard so many horror stories about how you'll need a million bucks to raise a kid but that wasn't the case it seems. I don't think I've spent more than like 500 or so and that's just because I enjoy buying baby books and toys

No. 288632

>>288599
That’s the opposite of my exp. It was insanely expensive and the care was awful for the price.

No. 288633

>>288632
Samefag unless you mean child cost through out their life and then please note:
>> Diapers and wipes.
>> health insurance
>> dental
>> vision
>> new clothes every two months once they hit a year and half that becomes costly.
>> two to three moving from a crib to a bed.
>> added room
>> long term cost like college funds.
Kids are very expensive and there’s a lot of little things that add up over time. It’s not the 90,000 types of blankets.

No. 288879

File: 1663624589705.jpg (68.37 KB, 564x705, 9530e3b8b96db74799f245ce85343e…)

Hello nonnas, I had my baby today. I started having contractions at 11am, they started off right away being 1min long and 5-10 minutes apart so at 12pm we drove to the hospital and baby arrived in this world at 5pm. It all went super quick and I only pushed like 3-4 contractions and baby shot out of me like a salmon out of a cannon. I had pain management but it didnt start working until like the last 2 hours, but I am glad I got it cause my contractions were so close together from the start that I couldnt rest in between. Baby is perfectly healthy and I am doing well. I still can't believe it all went by so fast and without any issues, I am so thankful. Just thought I would share for everyone who is scared of giving birth, it doesn't have to be a horror story!

No. 288882

>>288879
Congratulations! You must be so happy!

No. 288883

>>288879
Oops I meant 12am, I am retarded

No. 288886

>>288882
I still can't believe it. I keep looking at baby thinking "where did you come from? I made this?!". The worst thing is I live in Europoorland and don't get a single room meaning my husband isnt allowed to stay with us for the night.

No. 288890

>>288879
Congratulations!! ♥

No. 288974

i've been getting insane baby fever ever since i started dating my nigel. we've had talks about marriage and how to raise kids and agree on everything, so i know it would be ok to have kids with him.. in fact, i think because i know he's a good choice for a father it's the driving force behind my baby fever. we talk about baby names casually and i've made a small list. nonnies, please roast me if any names are ridiculous.

girl:
rosie
stella
esther

boy:
felix
thomas
edmond
oliver
llewellyn

any more girl name suggestions? i feel like i pick out old-person sounding names, but i want a tombyish name for a girl.

No. 289001

>>288974
Maybe Freya, Arlo or Clara for a girl?

No. 289015

>>288974
Llewellyn is cringe, the rest are cute!

No. 289038

>>288974
I always liked Evelynn

No. 289039

>>288886
Aw I hope you can go home soon. All the best! It's so incredible to have this tiny ball of bliss around. I also have a only 6 day old newborn daughter now and I cant stop staring at her cute face. I hope I can get the hang of properly latching for the feeding soon

No. 289041

>>288974
>llewellyn
lmao how do you even pronounce that. Esther is the most old sounding, but the rest are fine.

No. 289098

>>289001
Arlo is perfect, thanks nonnie!
>>289015
yeah, between you and >>289041 I think it'd be better as a middle name.
>>289038
Evelynn is cute and also sounds kind of old lol

No. 289433

>>288632
Maybe in your area? My medical related things were free, most of my things were family hand me down such as cribs, clothes, etc. Is this an American thing where families just fend for themselves?

No. 289440

File: 1663817235944.jpg (66.67 KB, 828x876, FCrktdwXsBE761e.jpg)

>missed my period
>Three weeks have passed, pregnancy tests are negative

I'm so salty.

No. 289588

Goo goo gaa gaa? Ga ga goo. Simple as.

No. 289764

Have any of you had problems with breastfeeding? I can't get the baby to latch on and the support group for that I found starts only in mid of next month. Is it okay if the latch is just kinda halfway and hurts as long as baby poops and is gaining weight?

>>289588
so true

No. 289768

sister had her first baby (first grandchild in our family) about a week or two ago and my parents are already asking me and my brother when we will have kids with our partners despite us both saying we don't want to have one as my sister's baby was an oopsie and she got pregnant after being unemployed for over a year. neither parent realizes that my brother and i have been loaning her money to buy baby supplies and think she did everything on her own (which she hasn't corrected them over) and the whole idea of being told to make a life altering choice to have kids makes me sick to my stomach because ive spent enough on my sister's baby to equate to a month's rent without even acknowledgement

sure i want kids one day but im still in college and work full time and my partner doesn't want to have kids right now, either, but we can't talk about anything with my side of the family without babies being talked about

No. 289792

>>289764
The best place for bf support: to post - Mumsnet
to read - KellyMom

Have you tried nipple flip? How old is baby? Sometimes at the beginning it takes time. It's normal to kinda hurt for some women but not all the time.. What about nipple shields? Medela do good ones. Have you tried rugby ball hold?

La Leche League are freephone and some online breastfeeding groups can do a Zoom call
Health visitor or Midwife can check latch, too. So sorry for infodump, I'm on mobile. Did a course for community lactation support but never finished lol

No. 290025

>>289764
I think at the start it's normal that you don't get that "deep latch" that everyone tells you you need cause their mouths are still so teeny tiny. It gets better as they get older. I try to kind of squeeze the areola and try to fit it into babies mouth like a sandwich, but most of the time it just doesn't work out that way and I am grateful when she latches at all without getting frustrated and starting to cry so I just grind my teeth and endure it.

No. 290039

>>289764
Yes, lanolin and then nipple shields every time you chafe while their small. It’s harder for them to latch and your nipple will toughen up a bit. Sorry anon. For the latch itself try different holds, and see which works best. Does your baby have a tongue tie?

No. 290046

>>289792
>>290025
>>290039
Thank you so much nonnas, this definitely helps a lot!! Haven't really found places to read into and those are great resources and tips. Baby is only a week old newborn btw and yeah my areola is quite big, it's so frustrating to see that you're "supposed" to get them take the full nipple with areola in when it's literally not possible.

No. 290659

When did your symptoms start to go away/lessen? I’m worrying myself because I’m only 10 weeks in and I just don’t feel pregnant anymore (not in any kind of ‘mother’s intuition/I know something is wrong’ kind of way). I had mild nausea, food aversions, heartburn, fatigue, etc from around 5-6 weeks, and by week 9 it was all gone and now I feel back to pre-pregnancy levels of comfort. The only ‘issue’ is that i definitely have a bit of a bump but i know it’s most likely bloat this early on.
My first scan is mid October so it’s not too far away but I can’t resist being a worrywort on the farms kek

No. 290751

>>290659
Totally normal, my pregnancy was almost completely symptom free for the first and second trimester except for fatigue. Just be glad you are not one of those women who suffer horrendously. I only started to get some more annoying/bad symptoms like carpal tunnel towards the very end. I know it sucks not to feel pregnant, but you will feel it soon enough!

No. 290929

How the fuck am I supposed to not have sex with my husband for 6 weeks postpartum? Its been 1 week and I miss it so much. I dream about it every night and I miss feeling that closeness. We were very active before so it's a missing part in our daily routine and also makes me feel loved and attractive. All I read about this is women saying they don't want to have sex at all for months (wtf) after birth and that that's totally normal so I guess I am abnormal. It sucks.

No. 290940

>>290929
it’s normal to want to start wanting sex, but the reason women don’t do it so early isn’t because they aren’t horny anymore, it’s cause it frickin hurts. and most of the time you will be too tired from taking care of the baby and you won’t feel your best

No. 290941

I feel like I will never trust someone enough to have a baby with them. Even if they seemed like an angel on earth, did housework before and kept the house clean etc. I would still never allow to put myself in such a vulnerable position. Once you have a baby the work never stops, and what he would not want to do or excuse himself from, I would shoulder by my own, cause the well being of the child would always be involved and I can’t just sit and say “no,you do it” while he steps back from “boring work” and I would be forced to do everything he doesn’t want either way, leaving me with no choice and this huge responsability and duty to sacrifice my time for the best interests of the child for life.
Did any of you had any fears or doubts? I feel like no partner will be there for me,maybe they would last a few years then give up playing the dad persona and remove himself from anything. If a man steps back(as in staying together but placing all the work on me) I have nothing to do against it. Maximum would be breaking up with him but remaining with this life altering choice that I will carry for the rest of my life.
Not to be a man-hater, but I think men don’t really think about what being a father implies, all they think about is the “spirtual work” and fun things they will get to do like playing sports and teaching them life lessons or some shit, giving no attention to the less glamorous and annoying aspects of actually caring and raising a child. And even if I have a long talk with him to make him understand that it’s not all fun and games, he will still give up at some point. I don’t think any man grows up thinking “yeah, I’m gonna be a bad dad and do nothing” but it will be convinient to leave all the unintersting work on me and think that “why would we both tire ourselves she can do it better than me anyway and I got work tomorrow early and I make more money “etc
Sorry for sperging and ranting about my paranoia, didn’t find a more appropiate thread, excuse the negativity but I am scared, and all my therapist says is that when I will find someone worthy I will understand.

No. 290949

>>290929
Use a vibrator (clit stim only so you don’t tear your cooch) and get your husband to watch and maybe jerk or suck him off so you can both cum without doing PIV.

No. 290969

How do you handle the logistics of sex when you have a newborn sleeping in your bedroom? I don't want to do it in the same room as the baby, but if we go do it in the livingroom and the baby starts crying in the middle of it.. what the hell do you do? Do you stop and go look after the baby immediately just letting your partner sit there? Do you just finish while the baby is crying? I feel like either option would be incredibly awkward.

No. 290981

>>290929
Yes, you’re very abnormal. Do you have hormonal/self confidence problems?

No. 290988


No. 291107

>>290929
maybe focus on the human you just brought into this world you instead of seeking validation through sex. jesus christ.

No. 291261

>>291107
Parents aren't allowed a sex life anymore or what? Kek. Babies sleep like 20 hours a day, they don't care if you spend that time doing the dishes or having sex.

No. 291328


No. 292116

File: 1664791846907.jpeg (Spoiler Image,1.92 MB, 2316x2704, 265FF08F-91FB-414F-BCDC-627EC5…)

Will these actually “look better with time” or will I need a tummy tuck? I’m 38 weeks and genuinely concerned.

No. 292494

>>292116
They're gonna turn pale/white in some months and become less noticeable due to that.

No. 292877

File: 1665166277477.jpeg (80.97 KB, 1024x1024, grand-family-jeanne-duck-50cm-…)

nonas, i got a positive pregnancy test today..! i'm praying that everything goes well. currently waiting on my dr to get back to me for an appointment, but i should be around 5 weeks along. i still can't believe it!

No. 292879

>>292116
A tummy tuck doesn't get rid of stretch marks.

No. 292887

>>292877
That's so exciting! Creation is a miracle. Hope you and your babby are safe and healthy.

No. 292892

>>292116
They turn white with time and will be less noticeable but they won't disappear.
The best you can do is getting toned in the tummy area and a little bit lighter.

No. 292900

>>292116
Yours look kind of cool, like a butterfly.

No. 292993

>>292877
Congrats! How long did you spend trying before you got the positive?

I’m currently on month 4 of trying and am getting pretty impatient since my first two pregnancies were immediate (only one was successful though). Due to that, I think I’ve probably gotten an unrealistic idea of how long most people try for. I’ve seen some couples take up to a year; is that normal?

No. 293001

>>292993
I heard that certain positions help, they call it mating press for a reason kek. Also afterwards to be on your back with your butt lifted up for a while.

No. 293002

>>292877
Congrats Nonna!!! Wish you all the best and much health

No. 293003

>>292993
The statistics are something like every cycle there is a 30% chance to get pregnant and 60% of couples get pregnant within 6 months and 90% will be pregnant within a year.

No. 293084

>>292900
thank you haha I’ll try to be more positive about them
>>292877
Congratulations anon!

No. 293128

>>292877
update: i woke up bleeding like crazy this morning(i’m still bleeding), so i’m pretty sure i’m miscarrying. it’s awful. the bleeding is so intense and non stop, and im having very painful cramps. my sore boobs went away this morning, and i was having mild smell sensitivity, that’s gone as well. it’s my first pregnancy so i was really excited, but things happen i guess. it’s weird because i got sick with a cold yesterday too, i’m not sure how (or if) they are related.

>>292993
we’ve been trying for around 7 months. we will keep trying but this definitely has made me a bit depressed. i will try not to let it discourage me though

No. 293146

>>292116
I looked like this and bounced back physically (no loose skin) but stretch marks are stubborn. It's NBD as I just wear bikinis that cover it or use a spray tan

No. 293147

>>291107
Did you forget that women enjoy sex for reasons other than validation

No. 293263

>>293128
I'm so sorry nonna, that sucks

No. 293331

>>293128
I'm so sorry nonnie that's a terrible experience. Unfortunately its pretty common to miscarry so early so don't think too much about the cold, it rarely affects pregnancy. You will get your baby soon!

No. 293353

>>212315
So I'm in a bit of disbelief because I just got a positive test. Four years of being relatively careful and using the pullout method and we did nothing differently and here I am. "Anon the pullout method is only x% effective" - I know. Its actually really funny because we were going to officially start trying next year, and now I'll be 3 months in at our wedding! On top of that I chose the most form fitting dress and it's going to be so so obvious. None of that matters though, I'm so overjoyed and hope everything goes smoothly.

No. 293355

>>293353
Congrats nonnie!

No. 293399

>>293353
You won't really show at three months, though your breasts will probably be bigger. I'm sure you can still wear your dress. Congratulations!

No. 293485

I had my first cervical check today and idk if I’m a baby or what but I am in pain. It’s been 8 hrs and I am still in pain. He stuck basically his whole hand in. He said how much he has to stick in is dependent on how far back my cervix is and apparently it was really far back. I’m also disappointed because I’m not even dilated yet… just overall feeling sore and depressed. It was a really terrible experience and I had to go alone. I’m done being pregnant.

No. 293494

File: 1665467634141.jpg (33.38 KB, 500x500, 51NEVuYD5vL._AC_SY780_.jpg)

Does anyone else have a preemie/NICU baby? When did they get off all of their tubes? Mine has no tube except an NG so I'm exclusively pumping but I have to fortify anyway

No. 293496

>>293485
Why do americans have their cervical checks done by hand? I am Euro and all of mine were done with internal ultrasound, completely painless. Is it that much more expensive?

No. 293497

>>293496
American medicine for women is heavily influenced by perverted men, things American medicine does is so invasive towards women that are barely suggested in European cultures. Constant "puberty development exams" is one of them

No. 293529

>>293496
>>293497
NTA, idk in the Netherlands you are also taught how to check cervical dilation by hand. One of the first things you learn actually (on dolls then). Some midwives (they have to go to university too btw) even encourage women to check it themselves.

No. 293545

I have my first appointment and scan this Friday at 12+5weeks and I’m so nervous and excited! It’s my mum’s birthday on Saturday and I haven’t told my parents yet so I’m super excited to have my scan, hopefully get photos, and to reveal it to them. I feel like I’m a kid waiting to go on holiday or something, just counting down the days until I can get everything checked and speak to an actual professional!
I also can’t wait to tell my work because it involves a decent amount of heavy lifting (which I’ve just been avoiding) and it’ll be so nice to be able to explain that I’m not just lazy hahaha.
Hope all nonas are having cosy and happy days!

No. 293554

>>293494
Not sure how helpful this is since it was over 2 decades ago, but I was a preemie by about 9 weeks. I was tubed for most of the time I was in the hospital (6 weeks) and had a breathing machine for part of the time too. I believe they took me off of the tube shortly before I was allowed home so that my mom could practice trying to feed me in the hospital with nurses present. I choked the first few times, but was fine after that and my mom had 0 issues after taking me home.

I was particularly early and I’m sure methods have improved since then, so I hope things go smoother and faster for you and your baby!

No. 293649

>>293353
It was a chemical pregnancy and I'm miscarrying. What prompted me to take the test was obviously being a bit late but also spotting for 3 days instead of a period, but that turned into bleeding and intense cramps yesterday and a negative test. Fiancé is super supportive but doesn't understand exactly how down I'm feeling. For one day I was going to be a mom. I know that chemical pregnancies are common and actually not a predictor for infertility but I can't help but fixate on it because although my cycle is very regular my flow is light (around 20mL over 5 days) and I worry about the lining thickness. Apparently this means the embryo likely did implant though so maybe it is a good sign rather than a bad sign. We'll see when we actively try to conceive. My mom is such a narc (she was the only person I told apart from my fiancé) that her response was that its the worst for her because she was excited for a day.

No. 293695

My little one is a little over 3 weeks now and one of the things nobody has warned me about and I have never read people discuss anywhere is that babies are SO LOUD when sleeping. I barely get sleep as it is since she wakes up every 1-2 hours and it takes 2 hours to get her back to sleep at least, but even when she is asleep she is constantly grunting and making throat clearing noises that make me paranoid she is choking or unable to breathe so I can't sleep when she is asleep either. During the day she sleeps quietly like an angel, but something about nighttime makes her turn into a grunting hog and it's the worst thing I am losing my mind.

Apparently this is perfectly normal and the only advice I can find is moving the baby to a different room (no way) or sleeping in shifts (can't because I am breastfeeding) so I guess I will just never sleep again.

No. 293718

File: 1665599742073.jpg (49.08 KB, 500x625, 249270409_664e6841fa_z.jpg)

I never thought I would have fertility problems. But it's been at least a year and a half since we started trying for a baby and it's just not working. There's something wrong with my womb or my Nigel's sperm.

I used to laugh at fundies back in the day but my babyfever is getting so intense that I honestly wish I were a religious tradwife with fifteen kids. It's so depressing.

No. 293895

>>293718
This is solely speaking from personal experience but I thought something was wrong with me when I tried for a baby with a man who ended up being a porn addict with cheating issues. My next relationship I tried for a baby with a great guy and got pregnant not even a month after stopping birth control

No. 294215

>>293695
Ah yes. Also that they can sometimes have open eyes or even cry while asleep. Like the fuck does a baby have such intense dreams for?

No. 294360

>>293494
Update: she's on fortified neosure and breast milk. This is just a vent but it's hard to find the time to pump and take care of her since we're exclusively pumping and I need to get my supply up. I have an elvie but wearable pumps just don't get the milk out the same way as a normal pump does

No. 294364

Breastfeeding is so fucking cool, I get why troons are super jealous of us for being able to do it. Like I am making milk and its feeding my baby and it has everything she needs in it and makes her grow big and strong. I am still amazed by my bodies ability to make milk.

No. 294372

>>293718
I thought I had fertility problems, but then the realization hit me that I went nearly a year without a period due to cysts. Once I got my period and covid over with, we tried for 3 months and got pregnant after testing negative previously. I'm never trusting first response ever again because it gave me 3 negative tests after my period was supposed to drop. I tried those cheap in bulk pregmate tests and I tested positive. Smh and first response ain't cheap. You get like 2 for 15 USD.

No. 294389

How do you guys feel about inductions? My doctor keeps pushing for me to be induced… he has been since I was about 30 weeks. At first it was for “my convenience” due to my husbands jobs (he works 2 weeks on 1 week off) since 38 weeks it turned into my doctors concerns about my son being too big… he’s only in the 50th percentile. Literally 51st. My family is pushing for me to be induced because they want me to have my baby sooner but in my gut I feel like an induction is unnecessary and would potentially put me in a really bad place. My birth plan is pretty natural- I’m not comfortable with the idea of an epidural or tons of shit being pumped into my body because it freaks me out. I know the risks that come with an induction and I’m feeling like my doctor has ulterior motives for inducing me especially considering he hasn’t even given me an ultrasound since 33 weeks. Did anyone here benefit from an induction?? Has anyone had a pain med free induction?

No. 294401

>>294389
> since 38 weeks it turned into my doctors concerns about my son being too big… he’s only in the 50th percentile. Literally 51st
And what about you? The baby’s size is only half of the equation. Depending on your pelvis type/size you may not be able to handle a baby that other women could.

No. 294402

>>294401
Samefag, but it never hurts to get a second opinion from a different doctor.

No. 294413

>>294401
That is a good question to ask my doctor! He actually hasn’t said anything at all about my pelvis. I’ll ask him at my next appointment if he thinks that’s a factor

No. 294418

>>288974
Sorry nonnie, I know I'm late af but if you're still looking for 'tomboy' girl names, I've always thought that boy names are super cute for girls. Plus if it turns out to be a boy you can keep the same name. And if the girl grows up to dislike having a 'boy' name then she can always go by the longform feminine version. Ie:
Sam (Samantha)
Danny (Danielle)
Bobby (Roberta)

Other names that aren't tomboy, but that I feel you might like based on your examples:
Sunny (or Soleil)
Lily
Daisy (or Maisy)
Ilia
Ember
Aria
Minnie (Minerva)

I hope those aren't too cringey but I feel like we have similar taste in baby names from your examples. Besides llewellyn kek.

No. 294475

>>294389
I wouldn't get it no matter what. Insane to even consider it imo if you're not week 40+. Maybe this prick just has vacations right after or whatever other reason he might have to push for it to be scheduled asap. A natural birth is like a sunrise, you can't force it to come sooner or later, it comes when it comes. Also it doesn't matter at all what your doctor thinks fits best for him, its YOUR family, YOUR baby, YOUR body.

No. 294477

>>294389
A natural way to induce which might be preferable to taking drugs, is having sex. Worked for me, unintentionally though. Was pregnant in week 38 and haven't done the nasty with my Nigel in a while, we did it and while I didn't cum, the act itself lasted quite a long time. Woke up next morning with my waters breaking.

No. 294501

>>294389
Don't do it unless it is necessary, your doctor is shit and likely just wants things to be convenient for him. I needed to be induced for medical reasons and it was incredibly painful, it's worse than a regular birth.

No. 294523

How long after giving birth did it take you to feel somewhat comfortable and normal in your body again and to lose the "squish"? I am 4 weeks postpartum now and I feel worse about my body than I have in a long time. I liked my belly even tho it made me feel huge, now I still feel huge but just all over squishy and soft. My face is still puffy and fat too. I have to admit not having sex at all with my husband also makes my self esteem lower on top of that and I just feel unattractive, fat and hideous. I want to lose weight fast but I am afraid it will affect my milk supply.

No. 294659

>>294523
Breastfeeding is really one of the best ways to drop the weight, just keep doing what you’re doing and try to focus on eating healthy with moderate portions. Everything you eat is still transferring (in part, anyway) to your baby through milk, so use that as motivation if you’re prone to junky foods and sweets. Have you tried wearing a belly wrap, by the way? I know lots of women wear them to help their muscles realign, but for me is was just for the comfort of not having to feel so “loose”. It might help you to feel more comfortable too, until the pregnancy weight mostly comes off.

>>294389
Other nonas have already chimed in, but I’ll just throw my 2 cents in anyway: He’s a lazy piece of shit who’s trying to keep you on a schedule for his own convenience. Inducing almost always makes the process last longer, and it hurts like hell. I’ve seen so many women cite induction as one of the main reasons for their traumatic birth. My country is pretty notorious for demanding induction the second the clock strikes midnight at 39 weeks, due to how we book our hospital slots 7 months in advance. It’s irritating as hell and I never hear it ending well. Take it easy and don’t let that scrote strong arm you into doing something you aren’t comfortable with. It’s your birth, not his.

No. 294663

>>294659
I tried wearing a belly wrap but I find it extremely uncomfortable, especially cause it prevents me from easily bending and moving around and my back-fat spilling out of it just makes me feel more like a blob. I eat very healthy and am breastfeeding, the weight is slowly coming off, but it feels like such a long time I am stuck in this blobfish mode body. It really depresses me.

No. 294664

>>294659
NTA this anon but a lot of doctors get paid more if they hit certain quotas or deliver on weekends. It could literally be paying his wallet to risk your comfort and health

No. 294696

>>294389
Yeah I had an induction without any pain med. Don't do it. It's not worth it. If you have to get an induction just get the epidural. I had one natural pain med free birth and it was really different. The pain with the induction birth almost turned me mad. I believe it made me have troubles with my bonding too, because it was too painful. Seriously. It wasn't my first, I was prepared and I still wake up sometimes with terrible nightmare of that night. I never had any nightmare or bad memories of the natural birth.

No. 294702

>>294389
are you in USA? The US pushes for induction like crazy, because of costs and efficiency. We have the highest forced inductions with also the highest mortalities in the western world. Countries with low mortality rates typically only use induction when it's really necessary, same with epidurals. Epidurals have been found to slow labor. I knew someone who was already at 5cm (so like halfway) within three hours, but then they gave her the epidural and she then took another 30 HOURS for the other 5 cm. And of course hospitals want a slow labor…

No. 294705

>>212315
Just curious to anyone in the US, are you allowed to eat and drink during labour? Tried looking it up but couldn't get a definitive answer. It's something that always confused me bc here you can eat and drink as much as you want (UK).

No. 294726

>>294705
It seems to vary. My hospital was pretty progressive in a lot of ways and you were allowed to, so long as there were no medical issues (if a pregnancy has complications and may require emergency c-section you can't eat). Other hospitals seem to prohibit it, but you could probably sneak in some food/drink.

The trouble with anything relating to US healthcare is that everything is incredibly variable.

No. 294764

>>294696
I didn't get induced but I was given pitocin after going into labor naturally because I was in labor for like 7 hours and haven't even dilated. I ended up getting an epidural because the pain was making my blood pressure shoot and putting me in a state of panic regardless of how much I tried to "breathe it out". Although I do agree a lot stuff is forced for pregnant women, a lot of women I know will barely go a couple of days overdue without getting induced. C sections are also pushed like crazy "because the baby is big" even though plenty of tiny women gave birth to like 10 lb babies naturally

No. 294782

I wonder how much PPD is just sleep deprevation, feeling shitty in your postpartum body and stress from men not pulling their weight and being shitty partners.

No. 294785

>>294782
It literally is 100% just hormones. Although those things can amplify it for some women if it's not just those things in itself. Not to humblebrag but a lot would say I had it all, I look hot after having a baby, my husband did practically all the work for the first few weeks while I healed now we do convenient shifts and help each other and me and baby have been sleeping well but I still got PPD, I'm out of energy, depressed and loaded with anxiety for no apparent reason a lot of the time. I wanna start Zoloft but my body has never reacted to anti depressants well

No. 294786

>>294785
I'm the opposite, I don't think I have hormonal PPD, but I hate my body, my husband doesn't do a single chore around the house and I barely ever get more than 1 hour of sleep. I feel depressed as hell.

No. 294935

File: 1666264686681.jpg (60.95 KB, 563x751, momma_cat.jpg)

>>294786
>>294785
>>294782
just please seek support on time, sorry you're going through all that, it's not shameful, it's different for everyone who goes through it. For some it's mainly hormonal, for others it's due to circumstances and others have unresolved trauma or other untreated psychological problems which suddenly raise its head at the most inconvenient time. Whatever your source is, it's not silly or weird or your fault and your baby will appreciate you asking for the help and support you need. Wish you all good sleep and recovery.

No. 295119

>>294785
Dont take antidepressants please. A good cry can help, or to just wait it out.

No. 295148

>>294475
>>294659
>>294664
>>294702
Thank you nonnies for responding to my question about induction. I feel validated now that I’m not being paranoid about my doctors intentions. He’s a young guy in his 30s who just moved to my town to practice as an OB. I do live in the US and I feel like he’s using every textbook excuse to try and pressure me into inducing and HAS been since before it should have ever been a thought at all! He just went on vacation too and I suspect he would have loved to have had me scheduled before or after that went down. Gotta love the USA healthcare system. I’m trying natural methods to “self induce” at home and im advocating for myself to wait as long as possible before receiving any interventions despite what he’s saying about my babies size. I specifically asked him how he knew that my size or my sons size would prevent me from giving birth vaginally without induction and he said he really didn’t but he’s just seen a lot of smaller women have to get c-sections because “they waited too long” to get induced and I really feel like that could be a false correlation honestly. Inductions have way higher rates of c-sections due to slowed labor. Essentially he cannot prove it’s medically necessary for me to get one so I’m waiting until it would be. He also said “if you haven’t given birth by 41 weeks you probably won’t give birth naturally” and started saying your body just doesn’t know what to do which is bullshit!!! I am a first time mom and I’m pretty sure that most women who go past 41 weeks are first time mothers?

No. 295338

>>295148
This is weird. My female obgyn always joked about how "small women have no issue delivering 9 lb babies but you'd see giants struggle to deliver 6 lb babies". Most small women I knew had no problem with natural birth, myself included. Speaking from an evolutionary perspective, would petite women even exist if it was nearly impossible for them to deliver babies ?

No. 295339

>>295148
Also adding to this, most women who go past 41 weeks are just fine. I was like 10 days overdue and gave birth no problem. You should find a new obgyn instead of this one since he's straight up lying to you

No. 295360

>>295148
I live in a first world Euro country and inductions are much less common here. I asked about induction when I was overdue 40+2 because I was worried I'll never go into labor and they said they won't consider it until I am 7 day overdue, 10 days overdue is when they suggest you get an induction and 12 days overdue is when they force you to get one. I gave birth the next day at 40+3 naturally. This is ofc for a normal pregnancy with no complications and my baby was average size.

No. 295567

>>295148
Sorry but first of all he's male which is bad enough on itself, but also he's young aka inexperienced and maybe doesnt even have children on his own so fuck would he know. Because his college book told him?

No. 296397

I'm only 14 weeks but my clothes are already unflattering and uncomfortable. Maternity jeans squeeze my stomach too much. Will the stomach eventually get less squishy and sensitive to pressure?

No. 296604

>>296397
Not really, it will get a bit hard in the 2nd/3rd trimester though. What I found comfortable were skirts with elastic bands and put them so high up the waist that theyre sitting basically above the baby area and on your stomach, the pants never done the trick for me tbh.

No. 297165

How do you get a breastfed baby to take a bottle? My girl will scream bloody murder if anything other than a boob touches her mouth, at most I can get her to take a pacifier if I'm lucky and she's comfort nursing and I need to do stuff. Dad feeds her when I'm asleep or at work but it takes forever and she will cry for over an hour trying to take a bottle. Should I have just gave her a bottle since day one?

No. 297292

File: 1667421647887.png (262.44 KB, 902x768, Untitled.png)

>>297165
Have you tried a more boob-shaped bottle?

No. 297310

I found out I'm pregnant a few days ago; about a week before, I was drinking cold brew coffee or high caffeine energy drinks for a week straight. If I'm very early in as my last period suggests, that will be around the blastocyst stage and hopefully didn't have a major impact. It explains why I was so tired out of nowhere, but it felt exactly the same as any other hormone dip before my period. Do any other anons have medical knowledge? I will try to get to a doc ASAP.

No. 297314

Hey everyone, I was told about this thread through a mutual friend, I'm in the phase of my life where my husband and I are planning to have a baby, we have the finances and already own our own property in the city.

The issue is I'm kind of pants shittingly terrified of how big both of us were as infants, everyone in my and his family are huge. I'm 6'0 and he's 6'8, and we were both babies over 11 pounds.

Does anyone have any experience with giving birth to big babies? Did it go over well?

No. 297320

>>297310
Congratulations! I did a lot of research on caffeine before getting pregnant. It's not ideal, but the main risk with caffeine consumption is miscarriage, not birth defects. If your baby is alive, your baby is just as likely to be healthy as any other.

No. 297388

>>297314
I'm 5'0 and my husband is 6'5 and I gave birth to a baby that was over two feet and 9 lbs naturally with minimal tearing and no issues. I luckily had a supportive obgyn who didn't push inductions or c sections since I know a lot will do that if the baby is big even if most women have no trouble pushing it out

No. 297438

>>297314
If you are tall yourself then you probably have a bigger pelvis as well. Just don't overeat during pregnancy. Most large/heavy babies are due to overeating and gestational diabetes in the mother.

No. 297528

How many ml minimum should I be producing before it's worth collecting and freezing my colostrum?

No. 297577

>>297528
I started producig colostrum early and a lot for some reason. I got about probably 24oz+ throughout my pregnancy but saved 8 oz since I have it away to a family who was adopting a new born (please no fights on adoption). It is also nice if you bring it to the hospital with a nursery and they can give it to your baby while you recover and it's good to save to mix a little with breastmilk while you recover.

No. 297602

>>297438
Yeah I’d think that the entire system (baby/mom/pelvis) would just be scaled up and so it wouldn’t matter. But worth seeing if any studies have been done to correlate the mother’s height with infant mortality rate, and the difference between the parents’ heights and infant mortality rate

No. 297714

File: 1667618421495.jpg (17.24 KB, 480x270, 1.jpg)

>>297165
sounds counterintuitive, but you might try to feed the baby with an open cup

No. 297715

>>297314
Im 177cm and husband is 198cm. Idk about him but I was huge and over 4kg at birth (mom had me cesarean by choice). I gave birth naturally no complications at 38weeks and baby was 3.1kg

No. 297788

>>297602
I'm 5'0 and easily gave birth to massive 2 feet long babies. Plenty of tall women have a small pelvis and plenty of short women have a large pelvis

No. 298152

Just want to rant about birth control after birth for a second. I just had my 6 week postpartum checkup and asked about birth control. I don't want anything hormonal because I am breastfeeding and also because hormonal birth control just fucking sucks. I asked about getting a female condom but my doctor said you can't get one until at least 3 months after birth and not until you are fully recovered and your cervix is back in its original position. A copper IUD won't work for me either because I already have strong and painful periods and we also want to try for a second baby in a year so my doctor said there is no point to inserting it for such a short time.

Now all that we are left with are condoms and I fucking hate them. I hate the feeling, the smell and the act of putting them on. It's so unsexy and unromantic. I am strongly considering just doing coitus interruptus on days I know are safe (like the first week after period) and maybe just the entire time after 6 months cause if I get pregnant before a year I guess it wouldnt be the worst thing.

I just hate that we live in current year and contraceptives all still fucking suck.

No. 298154

Did anyone else have an unplanned c-section? I wanted a natural birth so bad. It was so traumatic for me. I feel like a bad mother for not having the ideal birth experience. I don't want to dwell on feeling so awful, but it makes me feel so sad that something that is supposed to be wonderful was so stressful and awful. I love my baby so much, I just wish I could have given her the best start to life. Not one where I was drugged out and sick from surgery.

No. 298175

>>298154
nona i'm so sorry you had a rough experience. please don't beat yourself up over something you had no control over. you're doing the best you can for your baby and that's what really matters. i'm sure you are and always will be a great mother.

No. 298176

>>298152
If your period comes in again and comes in regular, I think the method of checking your fertile days and pulling out is quite safe

No. 298177

>>298154
an "ideal birth" is one where both baby and mama come out safe and sound. You both are healthy and alive and that is all that matters, nonnie. A natural birth can be just as awful and stressful, so please just try to accept and be grateful because without the surgery it could have gotten much worse.

No. 298185

>>298176
Its already back since 5 weeks despite breastfeeding (fml). The issue is my period have never been regular so I can never know when my fertile days are for sure. I still think coitus interruptus is an ok prevention method when you want more kids anyways. Just want to give my body time to recover.

No. 298206

>>298152
It does suck a lot. I used a diaphragm with Contragel Green for a month before ttc, if you are looking for something other than condoms. It's inconvenient and not spontaneous.

>>298185
The Marquette method can work for women with irregular periods, but it's slightly expensive and hard to tell how effective it is.

No. 298208

How do I get motivation to pump anons? My girl is on the NG tube and I've been slowly losing supply due to lack of pumping since it's no longer latch, feed, done, it's pump, mix with rice/fortify formula, then feed. I've been giving her mostly formula and it sucks because it adds a lot of dishes and she just reacts better to breastmilk anyway

No. 298213

>>298208
Do you really need motivation other than wanting your baby to get the best start in her life?

No. 298217

>>298208
theres some handsfree electric pumps

No. 298286

>>298175
>>298177
Thank you both so much for replying. I have been in such a vulnerable state for the past few days and it's difficult for me to open up irl, so it means a lot to read your kind words. I am so thankful nothing happened to me or my baby. I just wish I could have done more, but maybe every mother feels that way despite their experiences.

No. 298329

File: 1667878922777.png (387.19 KB, 680x708, Pink_Wojak.png)

>probably infertile
>my period started AGAIN

I'm starting to feel like pic related every time I find out I'm not preggo.

No. 298332

>>298329
I’m with you. It’s been 6 months for me and still nothing. Meanwhile my first pregnancy was a one and done deal, I literally planned the birth month and it worked out. I’ve been getting progressively worse and worse cramps and bloating every single month completely outside of my period though so maybe something is actually legit wrong with me after all.

No. 298335

>>298329
Can't ever imagine my mom posting wojaks on lolcow.farm . Maybe this is for the best

No. 298364

>>298335
You got no idea the kind of weird freaky shit your mom did when she was your age.

No. 298403

>>298364
nta but my mom was hyperreligious at my age so she didn't do much kek. the internet didn't even exist in her time.

No. 298505

Is it more or less likely that my boobs will shrink again after I’ve given birth? Obviously not straight away, I know, but with time?
I already had boobs that were disproportionate to my frame before pregnancy, and now they’ve grown again and they’re not sore or anything, I just hate that they look ridiculous in comparison to my smaller frame. I was self conscious before because of unwanted attention from moids, so I just want to know is there a chance they’ll return to their regular size?
This sounds like such a stupid ‘woe is me’ post, I’m sorry kek

No. 298590

>>298505
Pregnancy breasts are usually bigger than postpartum breasts once you've weaned. They may not ever be as small as before, but they probably won't stay as big as they are.

No. 298611

>>298505
It depends on the person, nonna! I was very small before getting pregnant but got pretty large in the chest, now that my girls are weaned and I am back to my normal fitness regime they are quite small again. My mom was much the same. It really depends on a lot of factors but the most important thing to remember is your breasts grow to feed & nourish your precious bean! That helped me a lot when I was struggling with the mental aspects of larger breasts.

No. 298723

>>298332
You might have too much estrogen, and if you want you might look into Ray Peat and counteract it by taking Progesterone (Progest-E Oil)

No. 299002

>>298505
As others have said, it’s pretty much down to genetics and how much weight you ultimately gained and lost. For me, I lost a little volume from the top area of my chest which makes my pre-pregnancy bras feel looser than before. Other than that though, they look exactly the same as before I was pregnant. I feel like some degree of “largeness” that sticks around after weaning has more to do with skin that got stretched (mainly around the rib cage), rather than actual volume in the breasts.

No. 299119

How long do you plan to breastfeed, or did with your previous children? I'd ideally like a year, but if it goes beyond that? I can't seem to find any good writing on the issue online. I've seen people go as long as 3 years in my personal life. Are there negative affects when it comes to switching to solid?

No. 299122

>>299119
Usually you start to breastfeed less when they start solids and slowly transition to solid food entirely, but it takes time. There is no downside to breastfeeding longer other than it starts to get weird when your child is old enough to pull out your breasts by themself and basically fight you for it if you say no. People also start to look at you weird.

No. 299145

>>299119
I did 1.5-2ish years in a relatively pro breastfeeding country. I didn't usually breastfeed outside during the end.

No. 299157

>>299119
I've breastfed for almost year so far but I don't recomment EBF after like 6 months or so unless you really really have the mental capacity to get up every few hours to pump or feed to maintain milk supply. Combination feeding is best once you feel like you're at you're breaking point and need a full nights rest which is how I personally breastfed for almost a year now.

No. 299158

>see mom who was in the NICU for over a year and multiple babies with down syndrome
>Finally meet her husband
>Some geriatric moid twice her age
Seriously why aren't we punishing people for purposely reproducing knowing it's high risk and now some poor souls are forced to exist with a bunch of struggles just because an old scrote thought he was to good to not get some young girl pregnant? Plus it fucks up room and care in NICUs when those should be reserved for people who had no control over pregnancy complications. Same with IVF users insisting on pregnancy knowing their body wasn't built to have babies or they wanna go octomom and have 3+ at once knowing damn well they're all going to come out premature. It's like the human version of marshall farms.

No. 300307

I heard in a video that the air smokers exhale (when not smoking) can still be harmful to infants. I can't find any studies of this online, but I want to make sure I am protecting my baby. Does anyone have any information on this?

No. 300315

>>300307
just avoid smokers?

No. 300332

>>300307
Google “second-hand smoke”. It’s dangerous, and you shouldn’t expose babies or children to it.

No. 300409

File: 1669048941901.png (397.9 KB, 403x403, 03a865bad1361608.png)

I love my baby so much and I want to spend all my time with her and treasure our moments, but I am also having crazy baby fever again.. How long did you all wait before having another? I want to wait 18 months before conceiving but my mother is scaring me by saying they won't get along if they are that far apart in age.

No. 300410

>>300409
Of course they will get along! I don’t know where she got that. You must wait at least a year. Never do it back-to-back.

No. 300414

>>300409
What the hell, 18 months is nothing in terms of gap, there are siblings who have a five year gap and they get along great, wait until you feel is the right time.

No. 300441

>>300409
pretty sure the gap (or lack thereof) isn't going to determine whether kids are going to get along or not, unless the older kid is much much older.

No. 300442

File: 1669064854212.jpg (877.98 KB, 2715x2808, lzyaaxuu2ot61.jpg)

My daughter was born with medium brown hair and now her roots are starting to come in blonde?! I am so confused. I knew the eye color of babies changes and I knew blonde children may get darker over time but I never heard of the opposite, a dark haired child turning blonde? Anyone ever seen that?

Picrel is not my child, just from google but thats what it looks like.

No. 300450

File: 1669069522647.png (433.1 KB, 756x686, nausea.png)

i'm 6 weeks pregnant and i'm having SUCH bad nausea. i got a prescription for diclectin but i'm wondering if any nonas have some tips or tricks? also, how do i get rid of the constant metallic/nasty taste in my mouth?

No. 300482

>>300442
That's what happened to me. I was born with jet-black hair and then it started growing in lighter until I was a very light brown with blond highlights, and then it started to darken again in my teens. I'm at dark brown now. My brother was towheaded as a kid and his hair darkened to the same color mine is. Hair is weird.

No. 300483

>>300442
Yup, typical in the Nordics. Babies born with brown hair and then turns blonde when they’re toddlers/young children. Turns brown again in a few months/years.

No. 300519

>>300482
>>300483
Thats so strange, I was blonde as a child too (turned dark as a teenager) but I was born with no hair and then grew very fine blonde hair. I thought she was taking after her dad who was born with a full head of dark hair (stayed dark) since she also looks exactly like him. I read that firstborn children always look like their dad because it creates an instinct in the male to take care of the child when he recognizes it as his, maybe its part of that?

No. 300656

>>300450
Drinking lemon water helped me. Mints helped sometimes as well but then they started making me sick. Hope you feel better soon.

No. 300668

>>300442
>>300442
I had thick dark black hair as a baby but it turned red later on

No. 300702

>>300442
It will most likely gradually turn brunette again.

No. 300816

What is the warmest down maternity coat out there? I ordered the extra long coat from Seraphine and was not impressed by the amount of down. It's gets really cold here.

No. 301042

I'm having such bad baby fever right now. Everything would be lined up for us to start trying except for that due to the weirdness of life we still live with my parents. I'm 27 and just want to start our family. I wish my husband had his green card and all this clerical shit were fixed and we could move out to another state already.
I almost just want to beg my husband to start trying.

No. 301079

>>301042
I remember how hard it was to wait. We had everything lined up and then a freak thing happened and I got very sick and we emptied our savings. It was really difficult, and I found it hard to be patient. It helped to have my husband be willing to talk about our future plans for a baby.

No. 301151

>>301042
I got pregnant in college, lived on credit card debt to scrape by until I could live in an apartment and me and my husband could have full time jobs, eventually towards the end I paid off the debt, husband got a good job and we're doing good for ourselves and the child. It's best to have a baby when you're prepared but I feel like people forget 9 months is plenty of time to get your life in order

No. 301254

>>301042
I was dying for a baby but the time was never right. We ended up postponing our plans for 3 years, however I am so glad we waited until we were prepared. I enjoyed my pregnancy so much more! Also we were ready for all the ups and downs on our journey.

No. 301350

This feels horrible and consumerist, but I just bought a bunch of bigger ticket items from my registry that were marked down (no baby shower planned) and I feel somehow more prepared. No amount of stuff replaces effort and knowledge, but my lizard brain feels satisfied.

No. 301435

How soon can you get pregnant while breastfeeding? I'm trying for baby number 2 now and I'm only six months PP

No. 301440

>>301435
It's possible immediately, but every woman gets her period back at a different time. You could use the clearblue advanced fertility monitor to detect ovulation before your first postpartum period if it's important to you, or you could just wait and take a pregnancy test every week if your period hasn't returned. Some women find they have no period until they night wean, but it's very individual.

No. 301443

>>301435
I got my period back 4 weeks PP… It is very individually different and depends on when your body is ready to handle another pregnancy. Make sure you keep taking your prenatals.

No. 301457

I hate having a kid who is always in and out of the hospital I feel like a failure I practically live here because my toddler always needs oxygen and steroids for his asthma. I'm not even telling people I'm here because last time I was, I was yelled at by my in laws for "leaving the window open at night and getting him sick" they text us every time we're here "oh is he better yet? I'm starting to get worried" I am worried myself. it sucks staying positive, I am drained I just want to skip to when he is 8 years old and can deal with colds better.

No. 301482

Just wanted to share some gooey mama thoughts because my wife is still asleep and I’m here snuggling with our twins (they just turned 1 in October). I’m tickled that our baby girls are so cute and I am thrilled they got my red hair! They’re chubby and curious annd enthusiastic about life and just a joy to me every day, even when they are crabby and fussy or being absolutely hyper. Even when they make massive poops that go all the way up the back of their diapers kek. I know motherhood is ups and downs and that many moms have a harder time PP than I did but I am grateful every single day that I get to experience this. Growing up, I never thought I would get the chance. Also want to tell you nonnas (whether you have kids, are pregnant, or are TTC for the first time) in this thread you are ALL strong and wonderful powerful goddess beings and deserve big bouquets and fresh cookies. Wish i could send you all some.

No. 301502

I’m having a girl!!
I went for my anomaly scan today and they were able to check the gender and I’m so so so thrilled it’s a little girl. I know I’d love my baby regardless but I also know I was secretly hoping for a wee gal!! She’s measuring perfectly and everything looks good, I’m so excited nonnies!

No. 301549

I really hope that someone kills me before I can have my child. I don’t care how shitty that is. I don’t really want to live.

No. 301640

>>301549
Adoption??

No. 301642

>>301457
I'm a preemie mom and my parents live 12+ hours away and I feel the same. My husband's mother is retarded and gives the worst advices possible, if I didn't know she was mentally ill I'd assume she was trying to manipulate us into SIDS or some shit. The worst ones are the people who beg us to go back home even though the state has terrible insurance. I'm lucky to have an insurance with no copay though since I feels like every week I have to go to the ER. It gets better soon anon

No. 301643

>>301443
How do you tell the difference between PP bleeding and a period?

No. 301746

>>301643
PP bleeding will become lighter and stop around 6-8 weeks. Period might feel heavier than PP and would have other symptoms such as cramping, bloating, hormonal changes etc. It might be harder to detect for some women if they get their period back early PP, but it will probably be fairly obvious. Remember to wait until your 6-8 week check up to have sex and discuss PP bleeding at that appointment if it's still occurring.

No. 301749

>>301746
But if it's common for bleeding to continue until 6 weeks how would anon know if she had her period at 4 weeks PP?

No. 301769

>>301749

As I mentioned: heavier flow, cramping, bloating, hormonal changes… there are often symptoms of menstruating other than just bleeding that will help distinguish from PP.

No. 301770

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No. 301843

>>301642
Thank you anon, I’m glad to hear everything got better for you and baby. Yeah old people are so retarded like they’re incapable of learning the difference between wives tales and fact.

No. 301851

I’m 35 (yes I’m ancient) and hoping to be pregnant this month. I’m nervous as my last pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy and resulted in a loss. My husband was more upset about it than me. The waiting to find out is hard

No. 301852

I’m 35 (yes I’m ancient) and hoping to be pregnant this month. I’m nervous as my last pregnancy was a chemical pregnancy and resulted in a loss. My husband was more upset about it than me. The waiting to find out is hard

No. 301856

>>301852
Good luck, nonna! I had my first at 31 and have many friends who have conceived between 35 and 40, even people who you might not think are the healthiest. Sending you good fertile vibes and a hug!

No. 301961

>>301856
Thanks babe! Fingers crossed!

No. 302272

>>301852
my sister had her first at 37 and then another at 38

No. 302592

How necessary did you find a pregnancy pillow if you’ve used one while pregnant? I originally wasn’t going to bother but as the weeks creep on, sleeping is more and more uncomfortable and I’m not sure if a pregnancy pillow is going to make much difference.

No. 302594

>>302592
I had twins and I loveddddd mine. Really helped take the edge off and helped me get comfy with two lil chunks constantly jostling for position in my belly lmao

No. 302616

>>302592
100% necessary. I could not sleep without mine. I was usually a back or belly sleeper and it made it so comfortable to sideways sleep with a huge belly. I still sleep with mine and I am not pregnancy. I got a C shaped one as opposed to the U shaped variety.

No. 302617

>>302592
Depends, I hated it because it would get in the way constantly and it would be hard for me to cuddle my husband. I'm a stomach sleeper and I found the best thing is to sleep in a weird bent over/frog/downward facing doggy position. Sleeping on my side drove me nuts especially when I was supposed to exclusively sleep on my left side

No. 302638

I feel like I am being punished for having an easy pregnancy and birth by having THE most fussy baby ever. She literally never wants to be put down. She wants to be walked around all day long, if she's not being held and walked around she cries. I can't even fucking sit down and hold her. She's not even 3 months yet and she is awake ALL DAY with only one or two naps and just complaining and making noise all the time. This can't be normal, I am losing my fucking mind and my back hurts so much. I wouldnt mind a clingy baby that wants to cuddle all the time, but the constant movement she requires is killing me.

No. 302683

>>302616
>>302594
how far along were you when you started using it? nta but i am almost 9 weeks pregnant and i sleep on my stomach, i'm assuming that i won't be able to do that soon. every other position is uncomfy for me tho so i think the pregnancy pillow will help

No. 302688

>>302638
Do you use a sling or anything? Holding kids for more than 10 minutes gives me dead arms as I’m also pretty severely anemic atm. Sometimes babies won’t sleep and will cry all the time because their tummy hurts ie gas or constipation or they are in pain somehow.

No. 302707

>>302638
what about those hammock things that are electric and slowly swing/move the baby? Also as heart breaking as it feels, if you can rule out hunger and nappy and all, maybe let her cry it out? Or try feeding her in a side-lying position and after feeding when she's relaxed and sleepy you could try removing the boob and distancing yourself slowly.

No. 302713

Is it normal for my epidural injection site to hurt 6 weeks later? My doctor said it is but I know he’s lying. I voiced my concern about getting an epidural to the anesthesiologist right before I got it and she convinced me I would be fine and have no side effects. She told me the most painful part afterwards would be “ripping the tape off” bullshit. I’ve been to the ER once and someone there said I most likely have “temporary” nerve damage that should go away after 6 months.. I’m honestly terrified. Has anyone else gone through this? I get nauseous when I feel the pain because she hit a nerve when she put it in and it hurt at the injection site my entire labor and nobody listened to me and I think I was genuinely traumatized. It still hurts

No. 302717

>>302638
Baby was like this too, you have to experiment with different swaddles, toys, music and pacifiers. My go to for my colic baby that only wanted to be held was an Ollie swaddle, glow worm music, a fisher price swing and those Phillips pacifiers and I had to experiment a lot.

No. 302762

>>302688
I have a cloth wrap but she doesn't always like being in there and it still hurts my back to carry her around in it.

>>302707
We bought several electric swings and she has hated all of them, immediately starts wailing once put in them. She needs to be burped after feeding cause she swallows a lot of air even though shes breastfed so nursing her to sleep doesnt work as the burping wakes her up. The doctor said everythings fine with her, she's just fussy and needy. You can't let a newborn "cry it out", thats only for older children who have the ability to self soothe.

>>302717
We tried everything. She hates being swaddled (we tried all brands), she doesn't like pacifiers and music doesn't seem to be doing anything either. We have a whitenoise machine too.

I truly wish I could just throw money at the problem, like buy a 1,000 swing at this point it seems worth it, but she just hates everything. She doesn't even have colic according to our doctor.

No. 302763

>>302762
Samefag to add, she does love being in the stroller and riding over bumpy cobble roads. So I end up doing that every day, but it still means I have to walk around and its cold as hell here and gets dark early and I dont like to be out alone with a baby in the dark. The only upside to all of this is that I lost my pregnancy weight super fast because I am always on my feet and never get time to sit down and eat a meal.

No. 302972

>>302762
Is she possibly tongue tied? My baby was like this and almost immediately after her procedure she seemed relieved almost. I advise you go to a lactation consultant to check rather than your pediatrician. When my baby was very fussy it helped a lot to take her into the shower with me, the humidity, the warmth, and the sensation of water helped her keep her mind occupied enough to rest and then I would transfer her onto our bed. (She would never sleep in a crib or bassinet so we put her on our empty bed to sleep during the day when I can watch her). Have you tried baby swimming in your bathtub? I have heard from a few moms it really helps. Go in the tub with your baby and let her kick her legs in the water. Turn the lights off and just relax with your baby. It may take a few tries to get her to accept it. Although she may be super fussy and difficult now, it will not last forever! You got this.

No. 302973

>>302683
My husband got one for me right when we found out I was pregnant as a gift! I used it pretty early and still use it now. It is like sleeping on a cloud.

No. 302978

>>302762
NICU nurse here
>She doesn't even have colic according to our doctor.
Bad on doc, colic is defined as a fussy baby that appears to have no reason to fuss. Anyway here's a list of things to check for
>Gas (give gas drops and then gripe water)
>Reflux. Fortify formula or breast milk with rice and you could also get prescriptions for baby pepcid, my baby had and fortifying rice and breast milk did wonders
>Period of purple crying
>Diaper on incorrectly/trying different diaper brands
>Diaper rash cream
>Some babies won't calm down until they have a bath
>Try music, not just lullaby's and white noise, try pop, rock I've even seen metal work to calm babies
>Change temperature, some babies prefer colder or hotter weather
>Try different materials for pajamas
>Humidity but don't overdo it
>Dry skin and hair getting caught on their hands
>Needs stimulation like a playmat (even newborns need this)
>Try different forms of swaddling and different pacifiers
>Some babies suck at transferring milk and you will need to pump and bottle feed, this is especially true for refluxxy or gassy babies like you're describing
Hope this helps

No. 302979

>>302978
Btw since your baby isn't old enough for rice just fortify it with rice formulas instead. Also enfamils gentlease helps and you can fortify it too

No. 303147

Why the fuck do Americans induce early over EVERYTHING? I had at least 5+ friends who had to be induced earlier than 37 weeks, some of them don't even try to resolve the issue and just induce early.

No. 303148

I've seen so many people claiming they got pregnant 4-6 weeks postpartum….just how? Is this some weird brood larp? In order to even get a positive pregnancy test you'd have to be having sex at least 1-2 weeks PP which is insane and I doubt any woman wants a dick in her ripped up vagina that's still gushing blood while taking care of a brand new baby

No. 303277

>>303148
I am on a new mom app where everyone overshares and I learned that there is a cornucopia of women who have piece of shit baby daddies who would literally leave or abuse them if they go too long without sex. So yes, most women are totally battered downstairs but just give in because their partners don't care about them, threaten them, or cheat on them. Sad world.

No. 303312

>>303277
>Risking wife dying from postpartum hemorrhage to have bloody dead fish stitched up sex
I don't understand moids

No. 303470

Has anyone here ever used university provided childcare? I have a special needs baby and have been slowly warming up and calming my anxieties about childcare. I recently started allowing her to be watched for an hour or two at a time by trusted friends and my gym provided childcare, I work and because I'm the main breadwinner (please don't start a fight about this) dad watches her so I never had an issue with work related childcare, and both of us want to go back to school

No. 303560

>>303312
>>303148
I stopped bleeding pretty early, like 3 weeks PP. Also some women have c-sections or don't tear or only have very minor tearing. I definitely could have had sex 4 weeks PP, but I still waited until my 6 week appointment just because I didn't want to risk it.

No. 303718

>>303560
I stopped bleeding at 3-4 weeks too and sex definitely didn't feel comfortable plus it gives more risk of infection due to cervix still closing. I definitely wouldn't have been able to have comfortable sex until at least 7 weeks. We aren't talking about 3-4 weeks PP though these women have had to had sex at least 1-2 weeks PP which is insane

No. 303722

>>303718
I don't think that's actually true.

No. 303723

does anyone here know any good sources on breastfeeding and then getting pregnant again? There's no rush but I would like to keep breastfeeding until the baby is like 2 but also get pregnant again before that. Should I build a Freezerstash with pumped milk or can the body provide for both? What about missing out colostrum for the newborn if the sibling keeps feeding?

No. 303730

>>303722
Thought so, I want to think it's moids larping as super fertile broodmares instead of desperate women being irresponsible with their bodies

No. 303731

>>303723
>>303723
Newborns can have mature milk (sometimes it's even better if they have jaundice) but I've also seen women breastfeed their baby on one boob and then let the other boob prepare for the newborn. Check out r/breastfeeding and it's actually quite interesting how your body will adjust

No. 303883

>>303723
I currently stopped breastfeeding my two year old, at 9 weeks pregnant my lactation suddenly stopped a few days ago and we do have a night crisis since she throws tantrums on wanting to be breastfed to sleep, would not recommend (but might be just my case)

No. 303894

>>303883
Yeah milk supply drops like crazy when you're pregnant and if you have a baby that's mostly dependent on milk you're going to have to supplement with formula, wouldn't recommend if you plan on EBF. Also 2 under 2 is just straight up exhausting and I wouldn't recommend to anyone unless you have a reliable village or decent cash

No. 304000

i’m in my first trimester and had to stop using retinol for obvious reasons. my skin hasn’t been as nice though and idk what to buy to replace it. honestly my routine is very simple because my skin isn’t bad, and the retinol did the bulk of the work.

i just want something that will keep the closed comedones, texture, and light acne at bay. something i could get at marshalls/target would also be ideal. pls nonas help me

No. 304169

I'm 2.8 lbs over the recommended weight gain for the week I'm in, and it's stressing me out. I'm only halfway through. My midwife hasn't said anything, but I feel awful about it. I'm so hungry all the time.

No. 304177

>>304169
What are you craving?

No. 304187

>>304177
Just food in general. Fruit especially. It's not so much cravings as just being hungry.

No. 304320

>>304187
Makes sense, you're growing a human being after all lol! Try eating high fiber veggies and barley, you're gonna get gassy but it will be more filling in the long run. Drink green juices/smoothies for that sweet fruit fix. Here's a barley recipe that might help, I ate it a lot when I was pregnant.
https://thefoodiephysician.com/dining-with-doc-mushroom-barley-risotto/

No. 304477

>>303560
Even people with c-sections cervixes dilate to get all the pregnancy lining out of the uterus. Also, it's even more important to not have sex too early because they were literally cut open and everything is swollen and healing. Don't mention c sections if you don't know anything about them.

No. 304907

What's the best deal on diapers? For me so far it's been Costco Kirkland diapers hands down, they're the only cheap ones I can buy that don't fall off and cause diaper rashes if I don't put on 10 lbs of diaper cream, plus they're the cheapest per diaper value

No. 304922

My baby only falls asleep when being breastfed and refuses bottles. It’s really inconvenient and sometimes impossible when we’re out in public or with family… strangers and my parents/ in-laws always give unsolicited advice that doesn’t work for my child.. I’m dreading the holidays honestly. Oh and he won’t eat when he’s covered up with a privacy blanket! He hates them

No. 305065

>>304477
>Even people with c-sections cervixes dilate to get all the pregnancy lining out of the uterus.

Is it do hard to write "women"? Are you a troon?

No. 305074

>>305065
NTA but this is a stretch, people in medical school or just any sort of nursing in general are always taught to use people instead of women and it becomes a habit. I hate troons too but find myself saying things like "pregnant people" out of habit just because I get fired if I dont

No. 305077

>>305074
Nta but I'm a med student and this is literally false. We always use women or female if taking about animals but never people.

No. 305086

>>305065
Huge nitpick anon

No. 305145

>>305077
Lucky you but nurses have been fired before for calling patients mothers, women, etc. Medical school is different since you'll learn book stuff but when you have actual experience working in a hospital you realize how the tiniest complaint will get you fired, including not using gender neutral pronouns when referring to pregnancy and such. It also may not happen to you if you are in a more conservative area where as heavily leftist hospitals act like they're about to behead you if you don't use the "approved" terminology that is always changing, just saying the word "biological woman" will make everyone, left and right SEETHE

No. 305283

Nonas I am so excited to go into labour and actually deliver my baby!! I feel like all I see online is women saying they’re terrified of their labour for various reasons and it just makes me so sad for them that it’s perceived as such a spooky and awful experience. I’m only 22 weeks along but I’m so ready to feel my contractions and put everything I’ve been learning into practice!!

No. 305302

>>305283
Good for you!! Squats mamacita, do squats and slowly progress the amount leading up to birth. There are guides online. The squats will help open things up, tone your muscles and help the birthing process. Massaging your perineum with mineral oil leading up to birth helps minimize tearing. When I delivered I didn't tear. You got this, nonna. Can't wait to hear about you holding your little one for the first time. Best of luck!

No. 305304

>>304922
My daughter was the same way. I just breastfed in public if needed. No fucks given, I'm feeding my baby and any asshole who wants to complain can piss off. I didn't just plop out on the sidewalk but I also didn't go out of my way to make the process horribly inconvenient for us. People need to stop being so fucking weird about breastfeeding.

No. 305346

>>305304
Most people don't care or notice unless you're making it stupidly obvious. You also shouldn't be afraid to breastfeed around family, I literally pump around my sister's, boobs out and all. The only person I will refuse to breastfeed around is my MIL because she has a weird obsession with boob size and will literally watch fashion shows all day to make remarks on the models breast size and then always bring up her boob size when referring to herself when she was younger but me and Nigel cut her off years ago

No. 306071

Anyone who had a difficult first child and then a chill second child? I want to have 4 kids but my first one had colic and at over 3 months is still very difficult and needs to be held and walked around constantly. I am afraid that my next child will be exactly the same and I will be hopelessly overwhelmed. I am already 30 so I can't wait too long between babies and I absolutely don't want her to be an onlychild because I am one and hated it. I am just praying next time I will get lucky and have one of those easy babies that other people seem to have. Sigh.

No. 306115

>>306071
I'm 23 and had my first 7 months ago, it's usually how it is plus you get use to understand how to make babies stop crying easier without constant walking. Also refer to >>302978

No. 306175

>>306115
I tried everything already. Honestly sick of people giving me advice cause nothing has ever worked and we wasted hundreds of dollars on all kinds of swaddles, swings, noise machines, etc. Some babies are just more difficult than others.

No. 306182

>>306071
I think kids have different needs sure, but I’ve never met an easy baby tbh. 1-6 months is the hardest and some babies go through sleep regressions where they scream even if they’re easy 80% of the time.
Most babies that I know that were that upset had a food intolerance that took the mom cutting dairy or eggs or something from their diet so their breast milk wasn’t contaminated. I point this out because there’s a strong chance if one sibling does they all could end up with it and you won’t have an “easy baby”.

No. 306221

>>306182
I know many people who have chill easy babies that they can take out to restaurants without them ever making a fuss. If you never had a colic baby then just don't talk please. You have no idea. I cut out every fucking thing from my diet and did every single thing you could possibly think of and nothing helped. Its so annoying how people think they know some secret baby tricks cause you did one google search and think I am too dumb to do the same.

No. 306222

>>306175
That is literally not even physically possible to "have tried everything", especially at the age your baby is. It takes multiple courses of days and weeks to try medicines and you probably didn't even bother trying rice or other medications, babies are difficult for sure and some more than others but you quite obviously "have tried everything", especially at month 3 since some helpful tools aren't available until 4 months

No. 306248

>>306222
Shut the fuck up you patronising cunt.

No. 306270

>>306248
Holding someone accountable isn't patronizing lol. You can't cry constantly on this thread about your fussy baby and claim "you tried everything" when it is quite literally impossible for you too. Either listen to advice or deal with your ears being blown out I don't fucking care

No. 306274

>>306222
>since some helpful tools aren't available until 4 months
If you acknowledge that some of the stuff that could help wouldn't be available for her baby at it's age, then why are you getting on her for saying she has tried everything? I think anon clearly meant that she has tried everything that she can, not that she has tried literally everything ever.

No. 306313

>>306274
Because it would be helpful to know within the upcoming weeks? Either way it's literally impossible for anon to have "tried everything", most parents who have older babies are still figuring out what the baby likes and learns how to stop crying, it is NOT normal for babies to cry more than 2-4 hours daily, constant crying could be considered an issue plus constant crying could make the baby miss out on important sleep and not eat as much as they should. Anon should actually read and take advice instead of just blowing it off because she "tried everything" when she clearly hasn't, especially since most doctors would blow her off too.

No. 306315

>>306274
Multiple anons have tried to tell her. NTA but She sounds resentful of her baby for crying and being “difficult”. She’s more concerned on how the baby is ruining her ability to go eat and get sleep and not on the fact that for a baby to scream like that they’re in distress. I’ve dealt with babies that have colic I know what the shrill screaming does your nerves after long chunks of times without breaks. The baby isn’t difficult. It’s a fucking baby. Something is wrong and it only has one way to tell you that by screaming. Your job as the parent is to figure it out, not idolize how the next baby will be easier and this one is just hard. Do not blame the baby for your failure to parent. That shit is gross. If she wants to come out hard and rude we can cut the shit then.

No. 306342

My husband and I started trying to conceive about a month ago. My period is late and last week I took four pregnancy tests but all were negative. Still haven't gotten my period and I'm feeling a bit defeated. I know it's early and it can takes months to happen but being late with no results is wearing on me. Waiting for my hormones to crash when I finally get my period sucks too. Should I take another test? Feeling very blue nonnies

No. 306344

>>306342
Pregnancy tests never work for me for some reason and I've been pregnant multiple times. I have to get ultrasounds or blood tests to tell if I'm pregnant

No. 306345

>>306315
This is literally it. A baby crying an excessive amount of hours daily is bad for their development, anon keeps blowing people off and insisting she "tried everything" when she obviously hasn't. She gives zero details of what she has tried other than different swaddles and swings, which ain't gonna help if baby gas bad gas bubbles, acid reflux, or prefers a different temperature/humidity, if it's not other health concerns. Colic babies are hard for sure and can't fuck with your mind but giving up and claiming "I tried everything baby is just difficult" especially as young as her baby is, is just stupid

No. 306356

Lots of people ITT never had a baby and it shows.

No. 306357

i just had a salad for the first time in like 2 months and it was delicious! my nausea and vomiting was so bad (i'm 13 weeks) from week 6-12 but i'm slowly feeling better. i could only eat fries and plain noodles during that time kek

No. 306358

Sorry did I accidentally land on reddit? I thought this was a site where we show empathy for other woman going through difficult times and not shit all over them despite not knowing their situation at all? How do you know she hasn't tried everything? That she isn't working with a doctor? You don't. You're just being a bitch to a woman who is probably having a mental breakdown. If you ever had a colic baby you would know that shit can make you suicidal and thats not being selfish or a bad mother to say your baby is difficult. Seeing your baby in distress and not being able to help them despite trying everything you can is very hard and you are being cruel on top of it. Seriously shame on you.

No. 306361

>>306315
Ayrt, I think you're reaching big time anon. She doesn't sound resentful just for saying her baby is difficult. She's probably frustrated if anything, and it makes sense for her to think about if she will have to go through this again if she has more children (and if I'm assuming correctly from her OP post, she might want to have another one asap) Anon being frustrated or even mad doesn't mean that she's upset at her baby. And some babies are more difficult or have their difficult moments. That's not a hateful thing to say.

No. 306364

>>306358
Considering she called another anon a cunt and to shut up I don’t really have anymore patience. If you read up thread too she said her doctor said her baby isn’t colic in the first place. Look at context before you jump at others. You can’t be a dickhead and expect asspats. She wanted to be told her next baby would be easy because she wants three or some shit and being told the next one might not be her ideal “perfect baby” and might also scream the same way made her defensive.

No. 306365

>>306358
Lol. You can't dismiss good advice and claim "you're trying everything" and then be told you're a good mother, we aren't going to hold everyone's hand and say everyone's a good mom no questions asked, if your child is crying you gotta investigate and try different things that aren't just swaddles and swings, and I agree anon is being weird about switching the story up. Parenthood can have sucky parts but if you can't hold your composure you probably aren't ready to be a parent

No. 306367

>>306356
I have three and my first one had major colic that eventually ended up being other internal issues, I am coming from experience and it's been this way for most "extremely fussy" baby's I know, even a NICU nurse who also has a baby chipped in and said the same thing. Baby's who are "very fussy for no known reason", you WILL eventually find the reason if you investigate, giving up and claiming everyone is being mean to you because you didn't listen isn't being inexperienced. How you handle stressful situations is a big reflection of character

No. 306370

Does anyone know foods that are tasty and easy on the stomach for a hyperemesis pregnancy? Wife has been vomiting 5+ times a day, every day, with the only times she isn’t being when she takes prescribed nausea meds. We found that she does okay when eating from the BRAT diet, but it’s been 3 months and she’s tired of not having tastier food.

No. 306403

How the fuck do I deal with idiotic mother in laws/ grandparents who keep giving shit tier advice just because that's what they did in "their day"? My MIL came to town and they took the baby out for the day, when they came back baby was wearing several layers in 40-50 degree F weather, was extremely fussy and turning red. As soon as I took everything off she was beet red and her temperature was 101, she was literally overheating, when I asked why the hell was she in so many layers MIL kept going on about how bad of a mother I was an how "Im letting her freeze out there, just feel her feet" which were warm, she's just old and stupid and thinks anything under 80°f is "literally freezing"

No. 306426

i turn 25 in a week and i’m at the point where if i see any babies in person or a really cute baby video i have to literally hold back tears because they are so just CUTE i want my own baby so bad, it’s such a powerful gut feeling. however, i know that i’m not remotely mentally or financially prepared and i have never been with a man that i can tolerate for more than 6-7 months. pain. i can only hope one day all the pieces fall into place and i get my own little stinker that i can give a happy healthy good life.

No. 306434

>>306370
Ginger candy, frozen fruits and peppermint frostys were my friend. Eating thick fatty foods helps block the top part of your esophagus

No. 307253

>>306403
You have to set clear boundaries, no way around it.
>If you do not take care of baby in the way I told you to, I won't let him be with you unsupervised anymore

No. 307317

File: 1673384382023.jpeg (48.91 KB, 414x413, first-birthday-party-airfullof…)

What's a good first birthday party idea? (Budget $1800)? My baby likes swimming so I thought about having a pool party but I would also invite other parent friends who have infants around the same age but I doubt most people would use the pool. I also don't want it to be a "for me" type deal. Baby gym party is also my second suggestion

No. 307334

File: 1673391349010.jpeg (541.01 KB, 1200x1200, 015C0E60-2159-43F4-842C-2649A6…)

>>307317
Maybe you could buy/make a splash pad! It's like a baby gym but it's water themed.

No. 307373

Do you ever plan on telling your kids you posted racist frogs on Mongolian basketweaving forums?

No. 307376

>>307373
Do you need to talk about something?

No. 307449

>>307373
>Wahh moms can't meme

No. 307450

>>307334
Imagine all the wet waterproof diapers on that splash pad just sloshing with piss and shit, god I hate babies

No. 307457

>>307450
not planning to have kids either just passing by as to ask why you're even here to talk shit if you hate babies. there are literally multiple threads for you, hide this one if you don't like it. you're not unique in hating babies and incredibly immature, you have to be 18 to post here fyi.

No. 307458

>>307457
I just wanted to talk about pee and poop to be honest

No. 307495

>>307458
No1curr. I'm not a mom but this is one of my favorite threads simply because I find it cute and sweet anons help each other through their motherhood journeys.

No. 307551

>>307458
you are a pervert no better than a scrote

No. 308000

Anyone hate reborn community? I have preemie twins and it's already hard enough to find items for them I'll see reborn doll people stocking up on preemie diapers and clothes or selling them (which most of the time is unusable because you need to find it specifically for premature baby skin for some moms). It's even harder when the baby is smaller and they order micro or nano preemie diapers

No. 309540

I'm 7.5 months postpartum and have had a light brown spotting, is this ovulation bleeding, implantation bleeding or period?

No. 309834

>>213353
NTA but some people are stupid with how much it costs to raise a child. I'm young and make 6 figs, can easily send my kids to private school and still get told "wait for financial stability before having more kids" as if they cost millions or something. If you have good medical insurance and shelter, food, clean water and air, things for school, clothes, diapers, etc you are fine. So many people I knew who had older parents ended up resenting them when they're older because they can't have fun with their kids and they're too out of energy for basics

No. 309992

>>309540
Are you weaning perhaps? If you start to lactate less it could be your period likely since you have less prolactin so cycle starts again

No. 309994

>>308000
Honestly I fucking hate these freaks with their dolls. I can't even pinpoint why, but I stumbled upon this on a local fleamarket app and seeing the soulless eyes of this hyperrealistic baby while having my own just disturbed and upset me so much that I started crying like legit sobbing. I used to be such an edgy teenager watching ISIS vids and not batting an eye but those things completely messed me up and ruined my day, not even sure as of why. Uncanny def. Maybe cause it reduces something as incredible as your own little baby into some weird commodity toy.

No. 310016

>>309992
My supplies been off and on because I have a tubie baby on a very specific diet. It definitely wasn't a period because the spotting lasted for a day max and it's a few days later and I'm having cramping currently and a huge appetite. I took two pregnancy tests days ago which were both negative but I also heard pregnancy tests are inaccurate when breastfeeding. I'll have to see an obgyn and update

No. 310017

>>309994
I can't with them, so many of them think their hunk of silicone is the most important thing in the world and some are weirdly predatory. I completely feel for women who've faced loss and I've had miscarriages myself but they're so inconsiderate and think the entire world should just kiss their ass

No. 310043

I'm having a really hard time making mom friends because I have no social media presence or friends at all. I just seem suspicious I guess. All the moms I meet are either 420 wine moms or very posh crunchy moms and I feel like I don't fit in at all.

No. 310055

>>310043
This is how I am and I feel the same way, so many moms just live chronically online and don't understand why someone would distance themselves from social media.

No. 310059

>>310043
>>310055
Same. I tried hanging out with some local moms but they're all extra gossipy or well established, so I end up just feeling like a fifth wheel. No one talks about video games or metal, sewing or whatnot. It's always "my baby/kid does xyz, my husband is so annoying because xyz, did you hear that anon did xyz omg I would NEVER do that" rinse and repeat. Admittedly I'm pretty much a recluse and very content browsing lolcor briefly then spending my day with family kek. You nonnies are all I need.

No. 310080

>>310059
Oh I absolutely don't mind gossiping, most mom groups, or just women's groups in general for any subject, I feel is super exclusive and if you don't already know someone or know someone who knows someone you're going to be isolated. I grew up poor and in the hood then became well off financially so I did research and moved to a really good family suburb and while I enjoy it, it's isolating as hell because I don't know any of you and didn't go to high school with Karen, didn't go to college with Susan or anything else I'm just an outsider. I also own my own business which is even more isolating because I can't meet people through work

No. 310081

LOCKING IMMINENT

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No. 310089




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