[ Rules ] [ ot / g / m ] [ pt / snow / w ] [ meta ] [ Server Status ]

/g/ - girl talk

File(20 MB max)
(For post deletion)

The site maintenance is completed but lingering issues are expected, please report any bugs here

File: 1649081054548.jpg (29.02 KB, 564x730, romansa.jpg)

No. 253921

Like the title says.
Previous Thread: >>133562

No. 253937

Bf keeps losing his erection with condoms and it's draining our sex life.. He says he wants to get those boner pills like Viagra but I can't help but feel a 22 year old taking erectile dysfunction medication is extremely off. This wasn't happening before because I was on birth control but I'm thankful to be off that mess and don't want to risk it. What do people do when it's almost impossible to have sex? It's not that there isn't other things but none of them feel as intimate, and I don't like the idea of never being able to do it with condoms. It doesn't seem to matter what brand or size he tries either..

No. 253944

He needs to stop masturbating. Erectile dysfunction in a man so young can only be caused by pornsickness and death-grip syndrome. He grips his dick so tight during his coom-sessions that a vagina doesn't feel tight enough for him and the excitement of being with a real woman does not compare to the over-acting porn stars.

No. 253945

How can I deal with vaginismus without visiting gynecologist?

No. 253946

I'm going to say condoms aren't the issue and that there's other factors at play when this shit happens to a 22 year old man. If you've tried thinner condoms and they're still enough to do this it's not the condoms fully causing it. He's either already desensitized from pornsickness and that was just the tipping point or he's mentally too attached to the fantasy of rawing and cremapies and again that could be from years of porn setting his expectations. Reality isn't porn and his skewed idea of what counts as hot sex is being let down.

I've only had this experience with one guy and it wasn't a serious relationship so him blaming the condom was enough for me to say.. no condom, bu-bye then. I don't know if I'd have the heart to work through this issue with a man or picture a future where we've to get his dick to work again when tbh they often just deny the porn issue outright and without that honestly you can't move forward.

No. 253947

Assuming he doesnt plan on children any time soon, consider vasectomy.

No. 253948

I don't know why, but I just can't seem to feel horny ever … I feel like when I'm having sex, I'm just going through the motions and it isn't very enjoyable to me. I love my boyfriend very much and he is a handsome sexy man who takes care of his body and eats well, but I feel disconnected for some reason? Sex doesn't excite me and I fake being excited so it doesn't ruin his fun. I guess I'm not a horny sexual person, sex doesn't excite me and tbh I was grossed out by it when I first started having it in the honeymoon phase. How can I get into it more? I'm not on any meds for depression or anxiety, I am on birth control though which makes me dry down there. I guess I should also mention that I lost my virginity at 24 and never had a boyfriend before then. I didn't grow up kissing boys but I have fantasized about them and crushed on them before so I know I'm not asexual. I guess my libido just disappeared once I hit 23? It seems too soon.

Also, I want to learn how to swallow. The taste isn't that bad because he eats well and exercises. It's just that I have a small mouth and he usually has a LOT of semen. I feel like I'm choking or drowning and I don't like the texture. It's like a wet booger or phlegm. Any advice on that?

No. 253949

Don't push yourself to swallow, he's already had his orgasm so apart from ego stroking it's no big deal what you decide to do with it. If you have to 'overcome' something or 'learn to like it' then don't do it. That's rule number one of sex imo

No. 253956

Consider dropping the birth control for a time to see if there is any change.

No. 253965

Put it in the back of your mouth and start swallowing as it starts to come out, like when you are chugging water. That way you also don't taste it as much cause it doesn't touch your tongue.

Personally I prefer to swallow it rather than spit it out because you already have the stuff in your mouth anyways and spitting it just swirls it around your mouth more and makes the taste and texture stay in your mouth longer.

No. 253967

Anon have you told him about any of this? If he is a genuinely good guy he'll try to understand and you can both discuss possible solutions. I had the same problem in a 5 year relationship and I didn't tell him for a long time. When I did tell him he felt awful about having sex when I didn't really want it. In the end we broke it off because he couldn't do something to me that I didn't want, and I couldn't force myself to just do it to make him happy. We're good friends now and we're happier that way.
Also you really shouldn't force yourself to swallow if you don't like it. He's already getting an orgasm while you don't.
> I feel like I'm choking or drowning and I don't like the texture. It's like a wet booger or phlegm
Don't indulge his whims just because you love him. Clearly this disgusts you so you shouldn't do it.

No. 253971

Unpopular opinion, call me a scrote or whatever, but if you want to have a relationship with a man you gotta do a little bit of give and take and that includes sometimes doing things that you are not 100% enjoying yourself. Men need sex a lot more than women do because that is how men bond emotionally, this is scientifically proven. They also just have a much higher libido than us, imagine how you feel on your horniest day, that is how men feel all the time. While for us it is enough to cuddle and say nice things to each other, for men the sexual aspect is extremely important for the health of the relationship and for their bond with you.

Obviously don't force yourself to have sex if you don't want to, but I'm gonna be honest you will probably have a really hard time finding a man who is okay with not having sex or very rarely having sex and especially if you have sex a lot with them in the beginning because you want to keep him around and then once you are in a steady relationship you slowly start to taper it off cause you feel like you don't need to make yourself do it anymore, you are gonna have a failed relationship every time. Either be honest from the get-go and hope to find a man with a very low libido, or just don't have a relationship.

No. 253981

He always does foreplay and kisses, massages and cuddles me before sex. We make out and grope each other. And I usually warm him up and get him hard by stroking it or sucking on it. He always eats me out before he puts it in because that's the only way I can get wet (I have never used artificial lube before). Once I orgasm and he puts it in, it feels really nice and that's the only time I ever get horny.
Yeah I think that might be the cause that killed my libido. I don't want to get pregnant though and condoms aren't that nice. I like feeling physically connected to him without a barrier in the way.
Thanks anon, I will give that a try.
I've only done it once and it was something I've never experienced, so of course I got shocked and disgusted by it. But I'd like to overcome my gag reflex and be able to do it.
That's exactly my reasoning and logic. He obviously fantasizes about me swallowing a lot and finds it hot, and I'd like to please him in that way because I love him very much. He is a very good guy. When I ran to the sink choking and spat it out, he hasn't asked me to swallow ever since or dirty talked about it. He looked genuinely concerned too and his boner went away lol. He told me I could skip that part and he can just cum in me the other way. Men have an obsession with having their sperm inside a woman - it's like the pinnacle of male sexuality, whether it be in the vagina or the mouth.
I can't really say what his libido is. I think once a day is ideal for him - 2x a day is too much. We do it once a week now that we're both busy with school and are in a long-term relationship. When we were in the honeymoon phase, sometimes we'd do it everyday, once to four times a day. I did force myself at the time but that's because my hormones were on a high for my first ever boyfriend and sexual encounter.

No. 253995

There is nothing wrong with using lube btw and if you think it might be awkward to apply it in front of him you can just do it in the bathroom before you get it on, you can use a little syringe (with no needle) to get it up in there. Trust me it makes sex a lot more enjoyable for both. I was also very dry when I was still on the pill and it helped a lot.

No. 254026

I was about to make a new one of these and also use a cat as the picture lmao. you beat me to it.

in theory I agree, but the thing about men's desires is that they're often gross and influenced by porn. I don't mind giving blowjobs, I think of it as pleasuring my partner because I want to make him feel good, but their obsession with swallowing is really offputting to me. it's like they care more about making you swallow cum than the actual orgasm they get from a blowjob. it almost feels like it's more about humiliation or it's some kind of dominance thing. when I asked my ex why he wanted me to swallow so bad he couldn't even come up with a reason. it's kind of disheartening when you want to pleasure your partner but he cares more about making you swallow his bodily discharge than the actual pleasure.

No. 254033

> Once I orgasm and he puts it in, it feels really nice and that's the only time I ever get horny.
This makes no sense.

No. 254040

Spit the cum onto his face

No. 254044

Or better yet, cumkiss. You never know, he might like it.

No. 254048

I'm not horny mentally, it's a physical reaction when I orgasm from getting eaten out/fingered. I only get horny after that, only when he puts it in. That's when I get emotionally/mentally turned on.

No. 254051

That's what my best friend did when one of her exes came without a warning. Apparently he never did it again kek.

No. 254052

Anon have you ever had an orgasm for real. What in the fuck are your posts.

No. 254055

This a tons of other underlining psychological issues. Any traumas maybe?

No. 254125

Buy a set of vaginal dilators/ pelvic floor trainers and read up about pelvic floor training with them. You start with the smallest size, relax and breathe, and train your muscles not to clench upon insertion.

No. 254129

Kek I’ve never had a boyfriend in my life but I want one who loves eating me out and facesitting, how do I find a non-pornsick guy like this

No. 254142

I haven't met a man who didn't enjoy the idea of facesitting and eating pussy. The real issue is finding a non porn sick man.

No. 254164

Well you just have to know the red flags of a porn sick guy and see what his fantasies are. If it involves domination, swallowing cum, cum shots, or any other porn influenced ideas, then you know you’re with a pornsick guy.
What are other ideas men get from porn?

No. 254177

Assuming that he's losing his erection because of the condom, either it's too tight or it's a weird fit (this has happened with partners of mine who weren't pornsick) Then you can do a couple things:
>switch condom brands, doesn't even have to be size wise just some brands fit nicer than others
>use a diaphram/spermicide combo, which is about 93% affective at preventing pregnancy, moreso if he pulls out. It's a bit more to think about but if you're not an overly fertile woman this could work for you.

No. 254181

File: 1649182375669.jpg (6.16 KB, 450x450, 21bC3mqau0L._AC_SS450_.jpg)

I want to get a clitoral toy for the first time, and I was wondering should I buy Satisfyer Pro Penguin next Generation or Pro 2 Next Generation? I don't know if theres any difference, as to which one would be better, so for me the only difference is the price, the penguin is 10€ more expensive.
sorry for bad eng

No. 254185

not sure how it would compare with the penguin but i own the pro 2 next gen and would recommend it

No. 254192

Hey anons, I got an issue with chafing. If I have penetrative sex with my boyfriend on a regular basis, about every 15 hours, the friction causes my inner labia to chafe. It feels dry and it stings a bit, when this happens I take breaks from having penetrative sex and it goes away within a day or two. I am not sure if it's an issue with lube or how wet I am, since we wait until I am very aroused until we have sex and the condoms we use have lube on them. Or if it's due to the fact that we do it so frequently and he tends to be inside me for quite some time as well. Not sure if taking breaks and adding more lubricant would help, as he needs quite long to orgasm due to the fact that we use condoms now.

Let me know what your tips and solutions might be. Although I'm fine with other sex acts penetrative sex is my favourite and it kinda sucks since I get chafing if I do it too often.

No. 254194

Not really a question but fucking non pornsick guys really opened my eyes as to how fucked up my standards was. Someone not wanting anything painful, asking me if things are okay before doing them, telling me just cuddling is just as good, not wanting me to swallow, not wanting anything porny or bdsm.

No. 254196

Try using bottled lube cause you don't get that much volume of lube in the condoms. Like use as much lube as you need for the skin not to rub but instead to like glide against each other.
Also make sure you are thoroughly washing (with water) and drying yourself afterwards to minimize skin irritation.
Also try the extra thin condoms so that it helps reduce the lack of sensation condoms can induce for men.

No. 254197

Open question but how old were you when you properly got off from partnered sex and how many years had you been active for? I’ve been with awful pornsick scrotes but also guys who really cared about making me feel good but a man’s never gotten me off before. I masturbated a lot during high school/college and now I’m scared my body is too used to the way I’ve been doing things for 10 years for anything else to work.

No. 254204

I started having sex when I was 14, didn't have a proper orgasm with a guy for a year or 2 and it was only via oral/fingering and using sex toys together.
I didn't have an orgasm from just penetrative sex until I was about 20-21.
I still find it much easier to orgasm via oral or using toys whilst having sex with a dude.
Penetrative sex orgasms depend a lot more on the mans equipment and how he moves his weight during sex in my opinion so I think some men just can't hit the spot due to anatomical reasons out with their control to some extent (heavier men can exert more pressure/power during sex so it's not just a penis thing either).

No. 254213

A guy i'm seeing told me of a situation like that before, he was telling me that he got soft while fucking his ex but this was mainly because he was tired. he felt so bad about how she felt afterwards so he avoids having sex when he's tired even if he's hard in that moment

No. 254214

why would you want to learn to swallow if you don't even enjoy having sex with him?

No. 254219

I lost my virginity at 16 and it hurt at first but didn't take long to get into it. The guy i lost it too only could get me off a few times from pentration. Some guys haven't been able too and one ex had a load of partners before me and he would get me to have multiple at a time. He was honestly great experience, he didn't make you feel self conscious and was patient for me to learn what I want. I met him when I was 24. I never even masturbated solo before him but I never told him but he like sparked my sexuality and I now can get myself off no problem, even with lackluster partners.

No. 254221

maybe 18? i have a boyfriend of five years and it genuinely took me two years for my brain to like… let me have it. it was by no lack of trying on his end and i think part of the psychology that finally let me get there was how hot it was to see him beg for it lol. i can still only cum from like 30 minutes of oral

No. 254222

samefag, forgot the second part of the question kek. i lost my virginity a couple days before i turned 15 and started dating my current long term boyfriend 5 months later

No. 254226

Are there any notable signs before having sex that lets you know if they're pornsick or not?

No. 254228

Ntayrt but ask them about their masturbation/porn habits, this can be done in like a flirty way if you don't want them to feel like you are scoping them out.
Talk to them about fetishes and kinks too, this can be done in a jokey way or by commenting on like someone elses sex life if you don't wanna be direct.
Usually this will give you a good clue about what kinda shit they are into an if it's hardcore crap they have picked up from porn.

No. 254229

Yeah I have, orgasms aren't that great to me tbh. I guess I"m just not a sexual person. I can physically get off but not mentally when he eats me out. It feels like he's far away when his face is between my legs licking my clit/fingering me. I like it when his body is aligned with mine and we are kissing with our hands on each other because it is romantic and feels like we are intimate and bonding. My libido is non-existent when his head is down there and the orgasms aren't mindblowing as a result. It gets mindblowing after I'm done orgasming, when he is holding me and he is inside me. That's when I'm mentally and emotionally horny. I wish I could have a vaginal orgasm even if they're not real because when he has his penis inside me,that's the only part where I feel mentally/emotionally horny.
I want to enjoy having sex with him. Maybe participating in more sexual acts will make me more sexual and awaken something in me. And I like pleasing my partner. He's always expressed swallowing as a fantasy of his, and I like to get him off in whatever way I can.
I'm also very inexperienced and have only done typical sex positions.

No. 254231

I think that's a good idea for the most part, but I'm afraid they'll hold back anyways, especially if they get the impression you're more innocent than them.

No. 254233

Yeah try and not give too much away about what you have and have not actually tried but you can bring up lots of more out there kinks and talk about friends or influencers/celebs that are into that shit and watch his reaction.
Lots of men will be super interested in a girl bringing up kinks etc and honestly you don't even need to say it's something you have tried or would like to try to get them to talk about their own preferences.
Usually you can tell if they are holding back, try bringing it up when they are tipsy if you feel they are the type to hold back that information.

No. 254242

Anon it's OK to not really be a very sexual person. Why are you trying so hard to change yourself and do things to please him when you don't even get much enjoyment out of it? And is he willing to compromise at all or is it just his pleasure alone that matters? Doing something you don't like often won't magically make you like it.
>>254190 is right. Please stop doing this to yourself.

No. 254248

If they have good female friends since childhood(view women as people not objects), good friends in general they spend time with(not having time to sit and jerk off, not having internet brain rot), if they are affectionate(not only focused on sex) and give you plenty of genuine compliments not only on your looks(not porn induced standards and comparing you to filtered and shooped models).

Although one of the best I've slept with was a complete coomer man whore, but didn't mention other girls at all, only focused on pleasuring me, didn't want anything in return, stopped the second he suspected I didn't like something, asked before doing anything, but I think he was a unicorn.

No. 254253

My boyfriend has a high libido but he uses it to eat me out and rub my clit out multiple times a day if I so desire. He never expects me to make him cum, and if I do he knows it's because it's something I felt like doing and not because he emotionally bribed me into doing so. Women set the tone and pace and frequency for sex. You let men do it and you get pornsick shit, guilt tripping, and endless coercion.

No. 254299

I also lost my virginity at 14, and didn't orgasm with a partner until maybe 17? I had a bf I didn't know was a virgin until after we had sex a couple times, but I ended up training him to make me orgasm and he was keen to do it.
I'm very lucky though in that the partners I've had want to make it a priority.

No. 254343

Kind of want to try hooking up with this old friend from highschool who I met at work. The thing is, I've never hooked up w anyone and I don't even know if he felt that way about me, I think we're about the same hotness so its not.. like unbelievable. Idk, I'm retarded

No. 254367

My boyfriend didn't watch porn and that still happened to him. He's healthy, active, and muscular, but his testosterone levels still came back low. He got on testosterone injections and the problem is gone now.

Endocrine disruptors are a rabbit hole that's worth investing time into and unfortunately they affect testosterone more than estrogen because of the fragility of the molecule. Maybe your bf is simply a pornsick scrote but hormonal issues are worth considering. No 22 year old should be suffering from ED.

No. 254548

>I don't even know if he felt that way about me
You are talking about a guy, unless he is in relationship he is 100% down to fuck.

No. 254562

Virgin here, how does facesitting actually work? Isn't it dangerous for the person that's being sat on, and how can they stimulate their partner if their face is being pressed on? Sage for no advice, but it's really been bugging me for a while lmao.

No. 254595

I'm also a virgin but I don't see that it'd be dangerous unless you were significantly overweight. You're straddling his face, not bearing all of your weight down on it completely.

No. 254686

You as the face sitter have to be mildly conscious of the weight you're putting on them, though if you're slim/don't weigh much it shouldn't be an issue. Plus if you're grinding on their face you're applying pressure to various points and they won't feel too suffocated

No. 255054

I thought suffocating was the point of face sitting, I would ask, then can always tap out

No. 255430

>live out tranny practice without being a tranny
What did I do in my past life to deserve this

No. 255447

I can't orgasm with my sex partner, only if I masturbate. He'll give me oral as long as his jaw can stand it, he'll finger me and apply any constructive criticism and tries very hard to pleasure me (although he's careful to never put any pressure/expectation on me) and has bought all sorts of toys for me to help.

What's the problem? I get horny, sex feels good, great actually! But I can only climax by myself. It would be nice if I could do it with him.

No. 255460

Sounds like a psychological thing. Do you feel some sort of insecurity concerning your body, sexual performance or anything?

No. 255465

There might be some hang up that you have. Have you had this issue with other partners?

No. 255467

Wasn't able to orgasm with my partners if they had a nasty attitude or bad hygiene. Does he have any habits outside irl that bother you?

No. 255476

I've read about people trying things to purposely lower their libido, but has anyone had any success with the opposite (raising it)? Please don't just go "just accept yourself, everyone is different". I've tried a ton of supplements, I'm not on antidepressants (although I used to be on Bupropion for years and it did nothing) or birth control, and my hormone levels are okay, same with my anatomy down there. But I just don't get horny, I don't feel nothing anywhere, and it bums me out.

No. 255505

I honestly don't think this is exceptionally unusual. I'm the same way. (Unfortunately in my case it's led to me identifying as greysexual.) I guess I don't have much useful advice besides keep working on enjoying sex as a shared experience of intimacy & pleasure rather than a means to achieving orgasm.

No. 255521

Graysexuality isn't real.

No. 255548

I'm the same and never actually cared. I really enjoy the penetration part and I am fine with masturbating after. My current boyfriend has a hard time ejaculating cause of his medication, so most of the time when I'm over it, I just tell him that I want to stop. We then masturbate together. The only time I managed to have an orgasm (clit) was when the guy was sitting on the couch and I was riding him. My clit rubbing on his belly did the job. It never happened ever again.

No. 255560

Lifting weights. It made mine go crazy. Took a couple months but it definitely made a big difference. There’s also herbs and stuff that act as aphrodisiacs if you want to use them. There’s yoga for opening your hips and helping strengthen your pelvic floor too which might also boost your sex drive if your really tight and constricting blood flow, in general.

No. 255652

File: 1649629377317.jpg (Spoiler Image,46.42 KB, 750x476, kirbt.jpg)

Okay so, I just started dating this guy, and from what he tells me it sounds like he has a very curved downward penis (I haven't seen it), to the point where he thinks that intercourse simply will not work (he is a virgin). It's so sad because he's really attractive but from what I read about Peyronie's disease (and because his dick has always been like this), it doesn't seem like it can be cured? Like at this point he would definitely be in the "Chronic" stage. He's still able to get erections and has a really high sex drive and high stamina however. He was already skittish because of the whole virginity thing. I don't know if I should pressure him towards going to a urologist or just accept a relationship with him will be penis-less. What softens the blow a lot is that he is very generous and eager sexually but I just want it to be more equal. Either way I want to stay with him, I adore him. It's just this one thing. Do any anons have experience with this? Advice?

No. 255665

Prolly the most useless post itt lmao

No. 255669

That's interesting, do you have like a certain routine with it (how long and the size of weights)? I've also tried various supplements, and I've tried those so-called "libido boosting" ones that apparently have aphrodisiacs in them, but taking them is akin to a sugar pill. I've done pelvic floor relaxation to try to make penetration less painful for me (kinda worked), but still no arousal feelings, unless I have to do that too for months?

No. 255675

I have a routine. I focus on full body and core/lower body. (Not get a huge butt but because glutes are important to support your pelvic floor. The bonus is not peeing yourself later on in life.) I do ten pound kettle bells and hand weights, focusing on squats, swings, and basic lifts. It takes probably like an hour three or four times a week. It took a couple weeks but the building muscle and change in hormones that comes with it made a big difference. I also started sleeping more and drinking more water and it helped a problem I was having with wetness my bc was causing so make sure you’re in general taking care of yourself.
With pelvic floor there’s relaxation and there’s kegels. You’re pelvic floor is like a shelf that supports everything down there but like other muscles it can get too tight or weak. If your doing too many kegels and no stretching you’ll over tighten it and can lead to tightness, pain soreness, blood flow issues, and bladder issues. If it’s too loose it can be difficult to have proper muscle control and lead to bladder issues later too. Does that make sense? Essentially you’re trying to build a solid foundation in general in that area and working out and building muscles increases testosterone which leads to a high libido.

No. 255733

File: 1649653919048.png (1.8 MB, 1282x927, motor-scooter-ride.png)

i'm going to be seeing my long distance bf soon. we only got close and started dating once he moved away so we've never had sex with each other before.
he's made it clear that he is very into riding which is something i am not really confident with (i've told him and he's still excited). i'm not a virgin but every time i've tried to ride in the past it hasn't felt right. the guy will always need to put his dick in me cause i can't get it to stick in correctly and i just feel really awkward until we switch positions. i really like this guy a lot so i really want to learn how to do it right (especially since it seems like a lot of women find it super pleasurable) so are there any good tips for a complete noob like me?

No. 255743

Have you tried shatavari? I definitely noticed a difference on it, and one of my friends told me she had to stop taking it bc it made her too horny lmao

No. 255762

Honestly I think if you're not comfortable with it, you shouldn't do it just yet. Get comfortable with him doing things you find comfortable and pleasurable and maybe you can build up to it. Otherwise just tell him no, that you'd like to be comfortable.

No. 255855

AYRT, no, I never heard of it but pro-sexual supplements tend to not affect me. What brand did she try?

No. 255888

how do i properly give head? it seems like i never get my bf close to finishing unless we do piv..ive tried going faster, playing with balls, going deeper etc but nothing seems to work? am i just bad or is he not sensitive to it? hes cut and afaik that can reduce the feeling..

No. 255912

File: 1649736986700.jpg (40.72 KB, 600x800, 3651651635.jpg)

Every scrote is different and you'll have to try different techniques to find what he likes the most. There really is no "proper" way to give head.

However, I do think there are some things you should do and that is definitely using enough spit. Don't be afraid to get it all over yourselves. I personally think the sloppier, the better. If it's too dry, he won't have any pleasure from it. Also, a lot of girls don't realize this, but you also need to be in a comfortable position to give him head. Find a position that's most comfortable to you. Otherwise, you'll get tired more easily before he can come or you'll interrupt it constantly trying to reposition yourself. I find it best to have my bf laying down on the bed, with me sitting up between his legs.

As for things that maybe will work: My bf really likes how enthusiastic I am to suck him off. Act like you're hungry for it. Moan and hum while you're sucking him. My bf has told me the vibrations from it feel really good. Try sucking his tip while stroking the base of his dick. Some guys prefer that you don't change the pace, so maybe try that. Maybe try teasing him too. My bf gets pleasure whenever I make him beg for my mouth. Don't give it to him right away. Kiss and lick his tip over and over. Talk dirty to him while you do it.

But also nona, it's ok if he can't come just from oral. It doesn't mean you suck at it. I don't always get my bf off with just oral. Sometimes he needs more stimulation. There's nothing wrong with treating bj's as just foreplay. Good luck.

No. 255916

god I hate implications of that pic being used for that response…

No. 255918

it's just a meme, chill

No. 255932

File: 1649749408027.jpg (67.46 KB, 564x751, 1646745251458.jpg)

I'm very into CBT and dick stepping but my boyfriend is unwilling to meet me halfway and is scared, is there any way I can make him accept my fetish?

No. 255936

File: 1649749914912.jpg (451.93 KB, 600x800, 921587b61fa8e9ac2ce818ec7b670e…)

This is similar to my situation. Basically I love boyfeet and my bf gets self conscious whenever I try to suck on his toes. He says they're smelly and ugly or w/e. He's paranoid to the point he's always wearing socks and slippers when he never used to before. it's like he is hyper aware and gives me a weird look if he knows I am looking at his feet. What should I do nonnas? Should I explain that a foot fetish is uncontrollable and part of my brain chemistry? Should I suggest something to him that meets me halfway?

No. 255937

File: 1649750380084.png (819.12 KB, 800x1200, ead3370788ed76259a942825a834ac…)

So I was thinking he could keep the socks on? Maybe it's the skin contact that's making him especially apprehensive. The thing is if the stocks stay on they have to be musky and smelly (and somewhat dirty, like he's been on a run or to the gym) otherwise it does nothing for me. So I can give him the option of having naked clean feet or musky socked feet.

I know he's self conscious about the smell two but maybe if it's one or the other he'll feel more relaxed.

No. 255938

File: 1649750425510.jpg (219.45 KB, 850x842, 86643163530fd7.jpg)

have you tried removing his socks and doing it without prior warning? i think he would be very turned on by such a bold move and warm up to it. you may start doing it in his sleep to condition him. he really should let you though, he sounds ungrateful as hell

No. 255941

Yeah I have tried getting to his feet by force but he gets really defensive (he even cried once) saying I was breaking his boundaries and trust. But I just don't see any other way I could have done it. I keep asking and he keeps refusing so I thought maybe forcing him would make him actually realize it felt good, but… I guess not. Maybe I should have mentioned it earlier. I have forced sex (and other fetishes) on him multiple times already and he eventually gives in but I can't get him to accept the feet thing.

Maybe I should educate him on how beautiful his feet really are? Like he wouldn't be so self conscious if I described how I loved his arches, sole wrinkles, and optimal toe length in detail- because then he'd know I'm serious and I know what I'm talking about.

No. 255942

Footfags truly have no chill
I'm dying at the thought of your poor boyfriend wearing socks around the house because you're like a hungry goblin obsessed with his feet
If he's not into it, you're not compatible, you lil freak.

No. 255943

It's literally how my brain works and its harmless. What is wrong with boyfeet? Explain.

No. 255945

Oh no the poor bf!1!1 kek fuck off

No. 255946

File: 1649751320875.jpg (32.54 KB, 350x708, 1624013205494.jpg)

Begone scrote

No. 255948

Women can like feet. I thought nonnies of all people would understand. I'm tired of being called a scrote when I'm not one. There literally nothing wrong with boyfeet, if more people were open to the idea my bf wouldn't even have this prejudice against me.

No. 255950

seconded, why can nonnies discuss how to suck their boyfriends best but other women can't discuss how to live out our own fantasies? much to think about

No. 255952

please stop calling it boyfeet you sound like a fucking pedo tranny

No. 255953

Men can be conditioned to be aroused by anything. Maybe try sneaking in some videos and references when he happens to be turned on? Or reward him with sex after you watch "nutshot fail" compilations on YouTube? Just make sure it's not TOO obvious otherwise he might catch on. Eventually with enough training he'll be more receptive.

No. 255954

File: 1649752025201.jpg (196.41 KB, 850x1357, sample_673975b6f4775f7edcb22c2…)

Manfeet are always associated with nasty bara males drawn for gay men. I may like feet but I still have standards.
Bishiefeet sounds too weird.

No. 255955

Right so it's ok to gag on your bfs chode but not ok to enjoy some delicate boy toes?

No. 255956

Take it to fujochan

No. 255957

they’re only associated to that by weird scrotes or fujofags who spend too much time looking up gay footfag porn. nobody else here is going to assume you’re into shitty bara art. i support your endeavour to get your boyfriends you-know-what’s in your mouth but stop referring to it as ‘boys’. i can’t emphasise enough that it sounds seriously either like you’re a tranny twitter coomer groomer or as though you’re playing danny devito in always sunny. god bless

No. 255958

you gotta pay the troll toll if you want to get to the boys toes, you gotta pay the troll toll to get feet

No. 255960

There’s literally no such thing as cute pretty “boyfeet” anon… they’re all nasty i’m starting to doubt you even have a boyfriend cause that’s the number one thing you’d notice if you were looking at his feet

No. 255961

>teehee yeah I rape him sometimes
Sure some women like feet but YWNBAW

No. 255962

File: 1649753283482.jpg (16.06 KB, 480x360, squidsponge.jpg)

Ok since we are already confessing weird fetishes and reluctant bfs I finally gathered the courage to ask my bf to RP with me a few months ago. It started off mostly vanilla like dr/nurse and a little brat taming and segued into RPing as fictional characters.
So I need you all to know my first sexual awakening was to SpongeBob. It's always been a secret of mine but I felt comfortable enough to bring it up to my bf and ask if he could RP with me. Obviously it was awkward to talk about and reveled a lot of uncomfortable and embarrassing childhood memories, yet somehow he agreed.
The only problem is that he won't be SpongeBob. He says SpongeBob is too effeminate and it would be too "gay" for him to act like him comfortably. But, he's ok with being Squidward and me being SpongeBob. I told him that just having fake gay sex is already gay and it doesn't become more gay if he's the "bottom" (though I'd let him be a SpongeBob top). The thing is, I am attracted to SpongeBob primarily so I want to have sex with SpongeBob, not Squidward, and not any other character.
I just wish he would be more understanding. I do a lot for him and I RPed situations with him I wasn't completely into.

No. 255963

Maybe watch episodes with him where Spongebob is in a more masculine role?

No. 255964

Honestly nonnie the most concerning thing here is how weirdly misogynistic his aversion to RPing as spongebob is.

He doesn't want to be spongebob because he thinks he's too effeminate? It sounds really scrotey to me. He obviously thinks femininity is beneath him and humiliating. Were you always playing the role as a fem/sub in other scenarios? idk it's a huge red flag to me.
That's just avoiding the deeper issue here which is her bf's misogyny.

No. 255966

File: 1649754476566.png (372.76 KB, 631x740, squiddaddy.png)

No. 255969


I'm sorry to be laughing at your misfortune but I'm laughing so fucking much, I really hope this is not a copypasta

No. 255975

Girl, I'm too embarrassed to even ask if the guy I like is single you got this

No. 255987

same kek I'm trying to find the courage to text him meanwhile anon's negotiating spongebob rp. teach me your ways nona

No. 256036

File: 1649783271899.jpg (9.75 KB, 250x193, thumbnail_6dd1df7ab36e0146651e…)

Why not rp as Sandy so he can no longer say it's gay to rp a spongebob because you're roleplaying heterosexual sex.

No. 256042

There's nothing wrong with being into feet, but if he's not into or comfortable with it (him literally crying is such a red flag that you need to stop) then you need to break up and not figure out ways to "make" him tolerate it. Most people don't even like how they look, I'm personally kinda into massages but if my partner didn't want to even do that I'd just drop it and do something else. Footfaggery is more common in men anyway so it might not even be hard to find a new BF who is into it.

No. 256061

lmfao i refuse to believe women are capable of being as degen regarding feet as men. this is fucking bizarre. having been with footfags in the past it is a nightmare honestly. not a moid defender but if anon is truly as degen as male footfags i almost feel for him

No. 256066

File: 1649795482803.jpg (12.47 KB, 320x276, 9y2122.jpg)

>I have forced sex (and other fetishes) on him multiple times already

No. 256109

not to sound like a men's rights activist, but actually imagine if someone said this with the sexes reversed. sounds fucked up right? some of you bitches here are straight up schizo. lmao get help.

No. 256111

File: 1649808483055.jpg (27.85 KB, 750x719, FP2mNCjUcAAv1Dm.jpg)

mfw reading this post

No. 256121

File: 1649814548904.jpg (53.28 KB, 640x616, oh-hell-naw-they-burning-spunc…)

I have so many questions, wdym role play Spongebob? Does he imitate the voice? Do you quote Sponebob memes? How was Spongebob your sexual awakening please nona I won't sleep at night until I have answers

No. 256125

Nona can you please keep us updated with what comes out of this?

No. 256127

File: 1649818132519.png (92.18 KB, 351x247, 43423432.PNG)

No. 256128

File: 1649818248700.jpg (108.65 KB, 1080x1283, 1648965482794.jpg)

I just started dating a guy and he's perfect in everyway, he's totally focused on being a sub to service me and i have loved our chemistry fooling around. But we finally had sex for the first time after fooling around for a week and he has a pretty small dick… i prefer oral and foreplay and he is so eager to please. But bc i have never been with a guy who was fully erect at like 4.5-5" i kept putting myself in positions he kept slipping out of? And im like trying to figure out if hes just an inexperienced otaku or if i need to lower my expectations for what small dick can do??

No. 256130

File: 1649818902559.jpg (71.2 KB, 1024x576, INCHD1542_40_thumbnails_1124x5…)


This. Compliment him on his anchor arms

No. 256132

isn't 5 inches about average tho? i've never seen that as small personally. although i'm pretty small myself so it has worked out for me. in my experience, performance and technique matter more than size. what's a size you wish he was?

No. 256137

NTA but I consider anything under 15cm to be small. Above 18cm is big.

No. 256139

I honestly dont care that hes small/average, bc i prefer clitoral stim anyways. It was just kinda annoying that any position (other then from behind and me sitting/ grinding on) didnt really work for him, he kept slipping out. Hes also a bbm and its my first time being with a guy w/ a belly and thighs.

Idk maybe it was awkward bc it was our first time having penetrative sex and i genuinely think its been YEARS since hes slept with a woman (he wouldnt say) But i kind of love that hes this servile inexperienced nerd boy. Its just my type, i just need to train him i guess…

No. 256153

Men say this about women though. And much worse. Most men would even argue rape turns them on especially on anonymous sites and that anything where the man torments the woman it's natural because it's her role or something. Men will be conditioned to get turned on by anything, though. That's how chasers and cuckolds are created, most men go down the porn addiction rabbithole and also become pedos because of it.

No. 256155

no shit men also say fucked up things about women. that doesn't give you an excuse to also be a degenerate like them. what is this argument lmao. take your meds.

No. 256162

It doesn't work with the sexes reversed because women aren't coomchimps with lightswitch brains.

No. 256167

Cope and seethe, men and women are not the same, nobody here gives a fuck about respecting moids and their retarded brains

No. 256169

Go back to reddit. Men do weird abusive shit to their gfs and their gfs let them do it just to satisfy them. A guy being uncomfortable is enough to make you have a meltdown but men wanting and actually committing rape crimes is something you can brush over? Kek. He won't pick you, instead of caping for men's degeneracy, lose some weight and get some self respect.

No. 256170

Absolutely based

No. 256184

no1curr tard

No. 256188

how do i get better at enduring anal sex? i tried it for the first time with my boyfriend and he really liked it but for me it felt weird at first and then it downright hurt, i couldn’t keep going and i felt sore for long after it was over. (he didn’t just go ahead, he prepared me first so it’s not a matter of him being inconsiderate.)

he’s not some degenerate weirdo i just “settled” for, i love him and want to do things he likes.

No. 256189

>having fake gay sex is already gay and it doesn't become more gay if he's the "bottom"
my sides have gone into orbit

No. 256192

is this bait? Girl how can he like something that causes you pain? Have you told him that? If the roles were reversed would he be asking this question?

No. 256193

You also have no physical way to get pleasure from that. Is he just into doing stuff you don’t like and degrade you’s?

No. 256195

it’s not bait, i’m just socially and sexually retarded

i said that it hurt and he stopped right away but it still seems like he wants to do anal again, he’s brought it up several times since we did it. like talking about how great it was etc.

i really don’t think he’s into it for that, he treats me like a princess in all other situations (and like i said, he stopped when i said it hurt). he’s really good to me and always has been.

No. 256197

Ask him why he wants anal. Is he pornsick in the past? Does he think it's better than vaginal sex? Does he want it because he thinks it's hot? Next time he ask tell you would think it's hot if you put something in his ass and see if he sings a different tune.

No. 256198

Nonna you told him it hurt and he continues to bring it up and tell you how he enjoyed it, what’s not clicking here? If you don’t want to do anal don’t force yourself to, there are plenty of other things he could like that wouldn’t hurt you. It’s not worth enduring, and no man who actually cares about you would tell you he wants to do something to you that causes you pain for his own pleasure.

No. 256200

> Does he want it because he thinks it's hot?
yes he’s told me he thinks it’s hot, to my knowledge he has no history of pornsickness. he also often talks about how perfect he thinks my ass is, which might be related? he really likes vaginal sex too, i don’t think it’s a matter or preferring anal over vaginal.

thank you nonna (and everyone else who replied). i’ll tell him it just really hurt if he brings it up again, i think he’ll respect it because he’s really kind and selfless.

> there are plenty of other things he could like that wouldn’t hurt you

i know he likes oral but i’m not a fan of giving it, maybe i just need to get used to it because sometimes when i fantasize about it i find it hot. but then when i try to do it it feels really gross somehow. i guess i’m just really vanilla as a person. do you know any other things i could try?

No. 256209

>He said he's not a porn addict

No. 256210

>i said that it hurt
>he’s brought it up several times since we did it. like talking about how great it was
You told him it hurt… and he's forgotten that part and just talks about it being great. Jesus anon. Take off your rose tinted glasses and see that this is fucked up (closet) pornsick shitty bf behaviour.

Stop trying to do things that don't bring you pleasure. I promise you'll have much bigger regrets if your bend over backwards in bed than you'll ever have for putting boundaries in place.

No. 256211

>i’ll tell him it just really hurt if he brings it up again, i think he’ll respect it because he’s really kind and selfless.

Anon there should not be an again even, the first time was more then enough, the fact that he brought it up again just means he's trying to test out your boundaries like if he can whine enough about something that is pleasurable for him solely then maybe he can have the chance to use your body as no more then a mastrubatory object. Anon please realize we're saying this out of concern for you and as outsiders we can see the writing on the wall much more clearly with no feelings of love clouding our sight to see what's happening here

No. 256235

if it's not something you find arousing then why are you trying to 'endure' it? there's a difference between doing something he likes vs putting yourself through trials and pain just so he can stick his dick up your ass.
"doing things he likes" would be like giving him normal head or maybe tying him up - both of those things you can do without having your body be sore afterwards. having your ass fucked and then being in pain afterwards is not acceptable, and honestly who gives a fuck if he's interested in it or likes it? are you willing to put your literal butthole through pain and uncomfort just because he's seen this shit (no pun intended) happen effortlessly in porn? if you are, ask yourself: would he do the same for me? chances are he won't, not on the same level as anal you're describing here.

you are not "sexually retarded" but you seem socially inept enough to not understand that this man is pushing your boundaries. the only way he should ever bring up anal to you is if you personally enjoy and get aroused by it - and you haven't mentioned being that way, and considering it hurts a lot I'm guessing you don't. stop doing these things for the sake of pleasing him and thinking that he "treats you like a princess" because guess what, he isn't. If he really treat you like you deserve to be treated, he would have stopped as soon as he clicked you aren't interested or find discomfort in doing anal. But he's not doing that, is he? he's pushing you and bringing it up again despite the fact it visibly hurt you.

>i’ll tell him it just really hurt if he brings it up again, i think he’ll respect it because he’s really kind and selfless.
If this happens again it's proof that he ain't listening to you, nonna. If it does happen again - and for your sake I'm hoping it won't - you need to be firm. Don't be shy or try and "like, I think, I don't know" your way into this conversation. Your body was uncomfortable and in pain for a reason, and you evidently didn't enjoy it thus you need to be firm on your stance of not wanting to do it again, no matter how much he might whine at you. If he does object, then you might want to reasses how kind and selfless he is.

No. 256260

i’m >>256188 and i want to thank everyone who replied to me. you have all given me a lot to think about and i’m glad i asked you guys. thank you so much for taking the time to respond to me and telling me what i needed to hear.

love you, nonas.

No. 256294

>it keeps slipping out

nonna are you sure he's hard enough to begin with? i've been with a 7 incher who kept slipping out because his dick was never at 100% erection, and a 5 incher that didn't because he was diamonds the whole time.

No. 256296

Noni not to be a degen but my boyfriend loves my ass too. I don’t like things in my ass and I can’t get pleasure from it so instead he grabs my ass consensual and he likes to eat it while touching me. There’s way to enjoy ass that are respectful and feel good to everyone. Anal literally can’t feel good for you even if you can tolerate it.

No. 256371

File: 1649914370095.jpeg (90.71 KB, 500x707, 5753785689446.jpeg)

I'm reluctant to have girl go down on me. I can get stupid wet but hold it together with clit play but when I'm close to finishing I just start gushing and I can't control it. I don't want to accidentally piss on her face pls how do I not do that?

No. 256385

I’m getting warning signs that he kept bringing it up, that’s one way guys can coerce and manipulate you into feeling bad for them and going through something because they keep nagging you and mentioning it. Tell him it fucking hurts past the point of any pleasure, not worth the aftermath, and you don’t want to be in pain obviously. Then if he’s whiny and bitchy about that, there’s an answer about your future and his true priorities

No. 256401

You shouldn't piss yourself unintentionally anyway but just piss before you start having sex if you want to reassure youreself

No. 256409

um i don't think that's pee nonnie

No. 256459

thats hot tbh

No. 256461

I'm worried it's not just wetness, but like when women say they 'squrit' it's just peeing a little, it doesn't really smell like pee but I'd be mortified if it came out

No. 256462

I doubt you're actually peeing anon. That sounds hot and I'd happily eat you out.

No. 256465

This is a good thing nonna trust me. I wish I was like you, I'm dry as hell no matter how excited I get and it makes me feel like shit because of it. Enjoy your natural wetness, never be ashamed of it.

No. 256470

File: 1649963559412.jpeg (Spoiler Image,497.14 KB, 1800x1800, 0f00aaa5-4648-4288-b7dd-d8b1a0…)

I just don't want to be a box of gushers, at least a bad box anyway

No. 256482

more of a vent i guess but i have a reverse foot fetish, i really hate that word actually so nevermind. its not a fetish i simply find the idea of someone cumming on my feet to be cute. anyways im big on cardio, running etc and my feet are disgusting with calluses and any footfag scrote is gonna be pornsick to death with a glut of unnaturally smooth weirdly drawn anime girl feet and will probably be repulsed by mine

this picture…

No. 256484

I’m a gusher and leave wet spots. No one has complained. Lots of people think it’s sexy. Just have an extra set of sheets for bed.

No. 256492

Noni. You’ll be fine. I won’t be weird but there’s loving not weird feet people who will love your feet because their yours. Got to just find someone actually into feet and you and not porn.

No. 256505

anon i am like this too! it is really hot to me to have my feet touched/licked or cummed on or just admired in general. luckily my husband is into stockings and feet so we are really compatible.

No. 256506

also i thought i had ugly feet and my husband loves them so im sure yours are fine

No. 256519

I mean there are ways to moisturize and scrape off callouses if you want to do that, but otherwise there are footfags who either 1. don't care or 2. can accommodate that.

No. 256700

hi nonna, sorry that this is so late but my partner has peyronies but the kind where it curves upwards. he's always had it but it's diminished over time. we cant do everything someone with a normal penis has (for example, its not versatile in that going 'against' the scar tissue makes his dick sensitive to pulling his penis too far in any other direction) due to the tissue we can't do for e.g. reverse cowgirl and oral but the curve makes missionary and doggy very good.

firstly, i would say that if you like this guy you could very well keep it up with him and if you get to the stage where you're comfortable having sex you could just try and see how well his penis could work in reality - it is hard to imagine but don't listen to how a virgin think sex works. there are definitely articles online about positions that can work for people w different types of curves.

secondly, if it does get bad, and you want to keep trying with him, refraining from masturbating can help lessen the effects of peyronies, and it also makes them more pent up and better at fucking. encourage him to get better with his hands and mouth to make up for the limitations of his dick.

No. 256817

My new bf is much more experienced than I am. I tried giving him a bj 2 times now and he never came at all. At times he lost his erection. Even so, he thinks it's great. I wish he'd tell me what I'm doing wrong because he gives great head to me. I did everything that I have read/watched: focus on head, shaft, massage the tests, use lots of saliva.

No. 256819

Your shitty bf is just addicted to porn, retard.

No. 256837

Well this is aggressive. Maybe, or maybe or he’s just a little nervous.

No. 256846

Is he on medication or otherwise struggles with orgasming?

No. 257163

he's either porn addicted or on SSRIs. he tells you everything is great because

1. he doesn't want to offend you (but even with shitty technique, scrotes should still be able to stay hard)

2. he's one of the two things i mentioned but he doesn't want to tell you the truth because he's scared you'll see him as "less of a man" (most likely option by miles).

No. 257189

You don't have to be the best of the best at bjs just to keep a man hard. His dick being in a mouth should be enough to acheive that. Especially with a new lover. Him not finishing is one thing (men get used to finishing by hand) but going soft.. he has a problem he's not telling you. I highly doubt this is on you or that looking up bj tips will do much to fix it.

Like another anon said SSRIs and I think some antipsychotics affect things but if it's not on them he's likely pornsick. Whatever the cause is it's on him to be straight with you and address it and most of all to stop putting you through the experience of sucking on a limp dick.

No. 257315

I've read that guys who take stimulants or benzos recreationally have similar issues when they develop a tolerance or go through withdrawals. If he's a rare unicorn man that legit doesn't watch porn, he might be a former addict who recently stopped (I knew a guy like that).

No. 258951

You’ll die alone

No. 263445

I'm 26 and my bf of two months is 29, we haven't had sex yet and he's being really patient and hasn't asked me to yet. Problem is he's my first boyfriend and I'm a virgin and I just don't know how to ask him about getting tested,yes I'm that inexperienced, don't bully me etc, it was because of cultural reasons. This would give me some peace of mind where my mother's only advice was 'you'll be okay because both of you aren't supposed to sleep around anyway' like she trusts in my trust? I got this idea to ask him if he's ever had cold sores to cover herpes and that's about it. How do I talk approach the subject? Say what you will about HSV1 being harmless but I don't have it and don't want it.

No. 263447

>Hey I'm interested in taking our relationship to the next level but it would give me peace of mind if we went and got tested for STDs together at a clinic. Is there a date and time that works for you?
Don't beat around the bush asking about cold sores and shit, just make him get tested. Any man with half a brain cell will not care about taking one minor step in good faith when sex is on the line. Don't let your shyness/embarrassment put your health at risk anon. It's not at all something you should be reluctant about requesting.

No. 263448

Exactly this >>263447, just say that.

No. 263452

Ok, I had no idea what words to say to make it sound natural and you did just that, thanks

No. 263458

You are absolutely correct anon. Lifting does wonders for me. I think it is not only the hormonal changes but also the overall self esteem boost that you get when you feel your muscles tighter.

No. 263471

Hi anons, my boyfriend always wants sex after we shower and that is cool, but we both shower together (and he always washes me, yey) after I get home from work which means I take off my makeup and get on my skincare/Vaseline and it just makes me feel ugly. I mean, we have sex, but it is so unenjoyable when I feel so ugly. How do I overcome this? I just hate how ugly and young I look without makeup, I don't look sexy at all.

No. 263484

This is barely a sex related question, you need to go to the BDD thread to figure out why you have such an issue with your natural face.

No. 263497

Is showering after sex not an option?

No. 263520

Consciously accept that he finds you just as attractive without it. He's being intimate with you regardless, so it obviously doesn't make a difference.

I used to feel this way too but eventually I just stopped wearing makeup and it made me realize how much I made my self confidence rely on it.

No. 263530

Do you really want to wear a full beat every time you have sex for the rest of your life? How do you not feel like a fraud. Shake off your shackles my lord.

No. 263661

I know why I have such an issue with my natural face, it's because it doesn't make me think of sex at all, it looks too innocent and it makes me cringe to imagine it having sex with someone

Sometimes I try to keep my makeup on after the shower. But I wish I could deal with the issue itself.

I am unfortunately fucked up in this department, my face isn't even absolutely beat.
>How do you not feel like a fraud
I don't because I see myself as I am with makeup on if that makes sense. Me without makeup looks like she doesn't have sex.
>Shake off your shackles my lord.
I guess they feel comfortable to me.

>Consciously accept that he finds you just as attractive without it.
I feel like this shouldn't be. I feel like he doesn't care how I look like at all. I get it, but sometimes I wish I knew his favorite outfits or looks or whatever.

No. 263725

>it looks too innocent and it makes me cringe to imagine it having sex with someone
That's legitimately retarded, are you pornsick enough to think being sexual means looking like a made up porn star?? Or have you convinced yourself you're babyfaced? I promise you don't look like an infant and have a normal adult face like everyone else.

Having sex with makeup on is gross anyway, that shit rubs off on the pillow and melts and ugh, yuck.

No. 263768

This isn't technically about sex but more about masturbation and orgasm.

I recently started SSRIs and immediately I noticed a change in sex drive. I usually masturbated 2-3 times a week and was able to bring myself to orgasm multiple times in a sitting. I could also make myself orgasm relatively quickly. Since taking the SSRIs, I haven''t felt horny in the last 8 days but tonight I felt a little horny and decided to try. It took a long time to reach orgasm and it was actually really hard maintaining. My arm hurts and trying to reach orgasm just felt tedious. I was able to bring myself to orgasm twice but the whole session took nearly an hour. Before SSRIs I can reach orgasm around 3 times in 30 minutes.

I know its only been a week since I've started antidepressants but this is sort of freaking me out. I like my quick and easy Os. Is the fact I'm able to orgasm a good sign my body will adjust to the antidepressants and my sex drive will resume to normal eventually? Or is it too soon to tell since the SSRIs are still building up and my sex drive will get worse before it could possibly get better?

No. 264035

I want to stop feeling shy during sex. I've been sleeping with the same person for 10 years but I still just find myself freezing when he gives me prompts (very simple ones like "how does this make you feel?") I hate being on top, I hate receiving oral. Anything that is focusing on me causes me overthink. I still like sex and being close, and he's happy but wishes I was more open. Lmao at this point me saying "that feels good" makes him want to cum immediately since I'm quiet usually. I like seeing the kind of power I have over him like that, I don't think there's anything he would say no to if I asked and I want to utilize that kek. I just need to get over myself. I guess this was mostly a vent but felt like the most appropriate place.

No. 264047

You might permanently lose it

No. 264058

The SSRIs fuckeing you up this quickly indicates it will only get worse. Switch medications asap or get off them altogether.
Do you have a history of sexual trauma? Do you have low self esteem? Is it hard to trust your loved ones? Are you ashamed to exist, take up space, have wants/needs, feel pleasure, etc.? If you struggle with any of that, those are the things to work through.

No. 264076

> I like seeing the kind of power I have over him like that
I'm not trying to be harsh but that's such a strange conclusion to come to. It's like opposite land. It makes no sense to break into talk of power and all the lmaos and keks after what you just shared is strange. You're first describing a reaction that sexually traumatized or just highly uncomfortable or insecure women have to intimacy.. and that dragging on for a whole decade with a partner and then next thing you're talking about your power over him? It's never too late to seek therapy and find out the root of your issues but you have to stay grounded in reality if you want to get help for it. Ten years of this as your intimate life is going to take a toll on him whether he's too nice to show it or not. Nothing short of therapy will make a breakthrough if this is going on for ten years already with the same partner. And part of seeking help might include him breaking the news to you that it's been hard to be on his end and to pretend everythings fine. Be open to hearing that. This isn't hot or powerful or a fantasy but you can make strives if you take it serously enough.

No. 264212

I can see where you're coming from but it's not really a power fantasy so much as it was just fun to get a reaction out of him. Any hang ups he has with our sex life I'm aware of and isn't really the issue here. We have a dynamic that works so it's not like I'm some timid traumatized log just bearing it. It's still fun and something I seek out. I just can't stand being the focus.
All of the above, am recently in therapy which is what had me thinking about this stuff in general. Trying to advocate for myself makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong.

No. 264244

How do I tittyfuck? Bf really wants it but I have no idea what to do to make it feel good

No. 264247

Get the inside of your boobs really slippery with spit or preferably lube so it won't be drying out constantly then use your hands to squish them together around his dick like a hotdog bun while he does his thing. You can move up and down for him but I always find that awkward since you have to move your entire chest where the guy can more easily use his hips to thrust. Either look up at him and encourage him along or you can occasionally lick him. Most important thing is just the wet skin so the motion is smooth and his dick isn't uncomfortably dragging. The pressure for him is obviously not going to be as intense as your mouth or vagina but that's the point, the softness and visuals

No. 264275

File: 1652696299167.png (5.3 KB, 182x203, 874-InbyuO-96HfUI-hgjUJ7867BH6…)

reposting from the vagina thread cus it's not really active, but I struggle to locate my clit, so trying to get my bf to find it is even harder. I was wondering if any anons have any suggestions for affordable but strong clitoris-specific vibrators? I've never had an orgasm but I also think I'm not very sensitive either because I once bought a cheap mini bullet and it did nothing.

No. 264278

Boobjobs are a fucking porn (hentai) meme and I don't think anyone is for real doing this shit irl more than once. It's extremely awkward even if you have large boobs (if you have small ones don't even bother) because you have to hold them together so tightly (makes your boobs look ugly) and the dick still wants to slip out the entire time. Boobs aren't ribbed or anything either so the sensation for the guy isn't really exciting. It also works only in extremely limited amounts of positions, I suggest with him on his back and you on top of him pushing your boobs down on him. The fact that you have to use lube or oil to do it means you can't even easily switch to a blowjob cause you'll get a mouth full of fucking lube/oil. 0/10, just do it once and he'll see how awkward it is irl.

No. 264294

Maybe instead of a vibrator you could invest in a hand mirror? Look at diagrams to get the general location and then feel around. Or have your bf do it. It's not particularly sexy but if you want 100% confirmation of where it is, that's how you find it.

No. 264305

HOW do you struggle to find your clit??? It's right there! It's not somewhere inside you nona

No. 264353

File: 1652714242874.png (24.85 KB, 240x300, e8d_GFSJnmb2f64b1-6f69-4476-bc…)

it's either very small or very hidden, because I can't really "see" it, but I can feel it like a lump under my skin, but I can't move my fingers or hand fast enough to reach any sort of climax. I definitely know it's there, but she's shy I think. I heard that sometimes you can see it when you're aroused, but I haven't seen it. It feels like a waste to task my bf to do it when I can't even tell him what to do because I don't even know what I like or how to direct him to find the silly thing.

No. 264387

Hi anon! From 1 small clit to another, direct stimulation is not where it's at. My clit doesn't pop out the hood and it looks non-existent. I don't enjoy oral or the clit being rubbed in the typical "porn" way. Trying bunching up a blanket or pillow and grind on it with your stomach facing the bed. Basically I use my labia to cover the clit and that's how I stimulate her. You can also rub your labia over where your clit is and that can feel good as well. Cowgirl where you lean forward and grind on the man's pubic bone may also feel really good. My favorite position is pronebone with something to grind against underneath me. I hope this helps!

No. 264401

One of the reasons you may not be able to see your clit is because you haven't had an orgasm yet. Imo, once you have a few orgasms it will be easier to spot it, so to speak. So, learn to masturbate. This will help you know your own body, it's fun, relieves stress, and it will help the sexual part of your relationship, once you know what you like. Use the advice anon above gave you!
That aside, there may be some medical condition?? I'm not a doctor, so try googling it, see what you get.

No. 264413

look I know this is late but the way I've gotten men into it is to start pressing down on their cock with your feet. Like, under the table footsies kinda deal. Press firmly but only enough for it to feel good. Do that every so often but each time get a little harder.
After a while of doing that you get it hard enough he'll start to like it. Then I'd start to get rougher. Grabbing his crotch when you're horny, getting harder with that over time, maybe playfully and lightly slapping his cock or balls during foreplay. You're essentially just trying to condition him to associate that pain with pleasure. Soon enough he'll be asking for it.

No. 264469

Nonnie I'm sorry I really don't understand how one can't see their clit. Do you have lots and lots of labia??? I've eaten a few and the clit was always just right there, right in my face. Is it weird if I ask you to post your vagina? Or a pic/diagram of a similar vagina?

No. 264472

File: 1652755933765.png (720.79 KB, 1080x2159, Screenshot_20220516-194703.png)

I'm >>264387 and I'm assuming the anon you responded to has a similar deal as I do. Basically, it looks like the labia minora join up at a thin line and there's no bulge for a clitoris. The clitoris does not pop out the hood because it is so small, even when very aroused (I have verified this because my labia fill with blood, etc. but the clit still doesn't pop out because it is too small). The hood on mine is also very small, but the main feature is again that my clit is still proportionately so small it can't be seen.

For me, direct stimulation is painful and all touching needs to be done around the clit. I think this is because all the nerves are packed into such a small point anything bothers it.

I attached a screenshot. Basically, it's just a line is what it looks like where the minora meet.

I hope this helps.

No. 264489

Sometimes when I have sex I need to fart so bad and it doesnt help when they wana switch positions so much. Usually I pretend like theyre going in too deep and push them away when in reality I am holding in my fart for my dear life. Anyways how do you avoid being gassy during sex?

No. 264507

>i have a very small

that search is sending me anon kek

No. 264536

Seconding that they’re fucking you up. Nobody ever warns you just how much it can affect your personal life. I thought I understood when I read the warnings that said ‘can lower libido’ but didn’t until it actually happened to me. Really consider changing yours or stopping them if you can manage that and it doesn’t endanger you. There are an invisible amount of people who find they can’t orgasm anymore or get aroused like they used to long, long after they quit the SSRI (for me it took two years and I still have issues after 5) which you should think about if you’re not okay with being asexual and celibate. I don’t place my worth or esteem on sex and would still say not having the drive anymore feels frustating and just dysfunctional.

No. 264549

nonnies, listen. i've always been pretty comfortable with my sexuality but i've always felt slightly disconnected during sex, maybe a tad repulsed by the guy i'm sleeping with even if he's a long term bf. i never understood why but i realised that i've been connecting healthy intimate and sexual interactions between two consenting adults, with the idea that all men are pornsick coomers. and that's why i feel a slight disdain for the guy after i've slept with him, especially if we did especially "dirty" acts (finishing on my boobs, deep throats etc). i just feel slightly disgusted by him… when my ex tried to titfuck me i felt significantly less attracted to him.

was also raised catholic so maybe there's a bit catholic guilt associated. i've also been sexually assaulted by coomers in the past so maybe it's also trauma related. has anybody else related to this? i just want to be able to have hot sex without getting the ick. just to be clear i don't think guys shouldn't be sexual, i guess i just hate hate hate the idea of these disgusting coomer degenerates who have no idea how to "make love" and treat you like you're a pornstar and i guess i'm afraid all men are that way.

No. 264553

SSRIs are basically asexuality pills. I wish I never took them because sex isn't fun anymore for me because even when I stopped taking them it's hard to get horny and not even good porn or a hot person IRL can arouse me. Please taper off slowly and try a medication with fewer chances of sexual effects, like Bupropion or Buspar (it's technically an anxiety med but a psychiatrist told me that it can raise libido in some people).

No. 264554

Unfortunately a lot of men are pornsick coomers, you aren't wrong about this. That's why it's important to find a guy who puts your pleasure first and makes his pleasure secondary. A guy with those personality traits won't want or even think about titjobs, deepthroating, anal, whatever because he knows you won't get any pleasure out of it. Imo a good way to figure this out is if he lets you bring up anything sexual first, lets you set the pace/lets you guide him during sex until he knows exactly what you want, etc. And when you talk about sex, a good sign is that he's into sensual acts (mentions kissing, caressing, eating you out if you're into that), instead of talking about pounding you or choking you or whatever.
Honestly, I absolutely hate how sex for most men revolves around their dick and how their partner can pleasure it. If I get any indication a man is like this he goes straight to the garbage bin.

No. 264559

Kek, i was really hoping to see actual pictures of what I mean.

Obvious clitted anons are so blessed and they don't even know it. 1) it's hot to have an obvious clit and 2) it seems like it is more easy to pleasure from what I've seen

No. 264562

Thank you for the advice, I get exactly whay you mean and I'll give that a shot, thanks nonna
I considered it possibly being a medical issue, but I can get stimulation from it once I find it, but it's very difficult to get anywhere with it because it either gets too sensitive in a painful way or my hand just gets exhausted. I agree that not having an orgasm probably hinders my relationship with my clit.
I don't have a lot of labia, but definitely more than a labiaplasty result looking amount, the layout is like what >>264472 said, when I pull my labia minora back I don't really see anything that resembles a normal clit. I found an image that's kinda similar, but I have more inner labia than that.

No. 264564

File: 1652805085969.png (Spoiler Image,64.17 KB, 275x145, image_2022-05-18_023113429.png)

(pic didn't attach and I forgot to spoiler originally)

No. 264641

I have chronically clammy hands so thought I'd never be able to give a good handjob. I was buying a new vibe and picked up some basic lube at the same time. BF asked if he can use some while jerking off and asks me to help him. I go at it hard until he cums and he has to lay there for 5 min because it was so intense and told me it was the best orgasm of his life. Moral of the story is use lube.

No. 264652

Is this a circumcised thing?

No. 264656

Could be, he got cut as a teen bc it was too tight

No. 264657

File: 1652817621284.jpg (419.73 KB, 930x757, Accept.jpg)

This is a really stupid ramble but it's been bugging me all month. My current bf and I have a good sex life. Him and his previous partner only had anal sex (she was "Christian" and couldn't afford birth control) and on one occasion it ended in her "expelling faecel matter" over him. When I found out about this from a friend, I was repulsed and it kind of put me off anal for life. Despite this, I seem to get the impression he wants to have anal sex as he really enjoys sex from behind and is fixated on my ass. At one point while we were in the shower he asked if I wanted him to finger my ass and I had never once expressed any interest in this. I can't say anal appeals to me but I don't know how to get over the feeling of being inferior for not wanting to have anal sex and now whenever we have sex it consumes my mind. I don't know what to do, I'm open to expermentation but I'm scared that if I did agree to do it - I would be doing if for someone else and I'm not sure if it would help me get over the insecurity I feel.

No. 264661

Noni anal is a meme. It can’t physically feel good for you. Your boyfriend shouldn’t be bringing it up after the initial lack of your interests. Would you want to do a sex act to him he wouldn’t like and would make him at worst be in horrible pain or extremely uncomfortable and gross after wards? If he likes your ass so much there’s non anal shit he could to appreciate it.

No. 264671

When I was younger I felt the need to be more adventurous (and kinda was curious too) so I found myself trying anal, both giving and getting. tbh it's not surprising that someone having enough anal will eventually have a mishap. I've heard similar stories from most guys who go for that. It's also not unusual for scrotes to still be enthusiastically into anal even after being shat on in a big way. I don't get it. I kept hearing these stories and while I've never had a mishap myself I felt like I was fucking with scat fetishists based on some of the fun lil stories they shared. I stopped liking it over time and my bf still nagged for it knowing I wasn't into it. Anal fans are charming like that lol

If its not appealing to you then don't go there full stop. Men who get anal just want more and more of it. That is a boundary to protect.

No. 264672

This is how I felt about it when i started to look into it. He told me how you can't eat for a day, you have to empty your bowels and douche etc etc the whole process just sounds horrible. Idk how or why I would want to do that but he still seems fixated on it

No. 264677

People who are into anal and into large insertions (fisting, above average toys) might do the fasting part but most don't. Most of the time you pick a day where your bowel movement was good and you might use an enema bulb beforehand. You're notba porn star planning your life around sex. The fact that he'd even expect a partner to fast for a day for him to get his kicks is an insult on top.

No. 264684

Don't wanna do it? Don't do it. You're clearly resisting the idea of it. Remember you have a perfectly fine vagina where his dick is made to go which is also pleasureable for both of you.

No. 264694

If you don't want to do it and you're not doing it for yourself, don't.

I like anal, but I've told partners that want to do it that I won't do anything to clean myself out beforehand and if it goes to shit thats the risk theyre taking swimming up shit creek. No way am I starving myself for a day or disrupting my intestinal flora so a man can fuck a shithole and not worry about shit happening. No accidents yet though.

No. 264773

Ok so i'm taking generic lexapro for depression and anxiety. I have come to a point where I can barely function. I knew I needed help and had to get medicated to get better or on better footing mental health wise. Like I literally lost 25 pounds because I was too lazy to get out of bed and eat. Anxiety is worse than my depression however.

I see that some people are prescribed wellbutrin to counteract the negative side effects of SSRIs and it can help with libido. I'll ask my psyciatrist about it when I can see him and hope to god it works.

I have masturbated twice since my last posting and each session only resulted in one orgasm. First one was somewhat quick but hard to reach, second session took a while. Lots of arm work thats obviously distracting.

No. 264855

It varies, personally I was given Wellbutrin for the sexual side effects and it was like a sugar pill. And psychiatrists told me that's the only antidepressant with little-to-no sexual issues, so there isn't anything else to try. So I think you should keep your fingers crossed that Wellbutrin and possibly slowly tapering off Lexapro (long term use of SSRIs is bad, the longer you stay the less they work). If not maybe learn coping techniques for living with asexuality in therapy, which is what I tried to do.

No. 264935

My boyfriend asked me if he could film me sucking him off since we're going to be apart for a month. Part of me finds the idea hot but my gut is telling me it's a bad move. It's not that I don't trust him, it just feels weird.

Any nonas been in my shoes?

No. 264937

Don't do it. Men keep those and then put them online once they dump their girlfriends.

No. 264939

Absolutely not, that would mean your face is in it. Maybe if he was your husband, but definitely not for a boyfriend. The chances of that video getting around and eventually being shown to your future employer or your parents are way too high.

No. 264943

Absolutely don't do it

No. 264953

Another vote for hell no.

No. 264970

To really get the message across, absolutely not. There's a big chance it'll be uploaded online w/o your consent.

No. 265061

It's just a month, he's not going to die having to use his imagination or something for that bit.

No. 265064

My boyfriend wants me to squirt but I just can't manage to do it. The only time I have been able to is when I was with a very well endowed guy a couple of times. I can't tell him he's too small to make me squirt, but it's honestly true. The worst part is that he keeps bragging that he is big, because he says he is 6.5".. but honestly, I don't believe he measured correctly. I never measured anyone, but his dick is definitely completely average.

No. 265065

Personally I prefer more average dicks, but it is so weird to me guys make a fuss about their penis size when they are average. My boyfriend loves to joke about having large dick problems, but his is definitely average. My ex definitely had a huge dick and we genuinely did have issues. His dick would literally get stuck in me (we'd had to wait for like 10 minutes for my vaginal muscles to relax so he could soften a tad), I had a lot more pain during sex, etc. I don't fight it, but it seems a little silly. My boyfriend is one of those chronically convinced guys that thinks he is ugly so maybe it is to make up for it. Sad if so. Anyway.

No. 265071

Even if he is 6.5 inches… that's average

No. 265074

be honest with him and say you can only squirt from bigger penises. there is nothing stopping you from saying this unless you feel he may get abusive or violent from it, in that case it's understandable.
any man who brags about how big his dick is never actually has a big dick, they're just hyping themselves up and they need to get put in their place. it's the same as men saying they're good at eating pussy but it just feels like porridge being slurped off a table.

idk i just feel like if you aren't honest with him soon then he's just going to carry on pestering you about this stuff and maybe eventually assume it's a problem on your end even though it isn't.

No. 265124

you must have a loose af pussy kek(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 265133

No. 265135

t. pencil dicked moid

No. 265138

Retarded question but can vibrators desensitize your clit? My ex made me cum twice a year and ive been using vibrators since i was 16. I havent cummed from a person's touch since 2015 and i started fucking this new guy and he gives really good head and touches me really well i just find it really hard to orgasm. I masturbate maybe 4 times a week but im taking a break cuz i really wanna see if i can orgasm from another persons touch.

No. 265156

Some pseudo/pop articles will say yes, but no. Many women can only orgasm with toys or vibrators, it all depends on how sensitive your clit is. I personally rarely, if ever orgasm from someone giving me head because I like a lot of pressure, and that's not bad nor is it abnormal (I don't watch porn either). Why not just include toys in the sex you're having with this guy atm?

No. 265166

Squirting isn't real, holy shit are you all pornsick or something? "Squirting" is what happens when you have a full bladder and a dick is hammering on it from the inside and some pee squirts out cause you can't hold it in. It doesn't come out of your vagina. It's pee. That's why they tell you, you have to "relax" to make squirting happen, cause otherwise you won't piss yourself. If you want to "squirt" for your coombrained pornsick boyfriend just let loose and piss all over him.

No. 265177

No one said it isn't piss kek but it still feels good for some women. Stop crying about it

No. 265179

Then just piss yourself during sex, what is stopping you?

No. 265210

Yes but it is temporary. If you use hard pressure and strong vibes its gonna be harder to orgasm from lighter stimulation, but just go a few days without masturbating and the sensitivity increases.

No. 265916

I don't understand the "you can't physically orgasm from anal" argument, you can't physically orgasm from stuff like blowjobs, kissing, rubbing, spanking etc. but people do these things because a lot about sex is psychological.

No. 265919

Nonnas i have been with my boyfriend for 5 years and I never felt any pleasure at all from penetration alone, I have a small vibrator but when I insert anything, it feels like there is nothing inside there. I can cum from clitoral stimulation but penetration just gives absolutely nothing.
I love him very much and he is very considerate and tries his best, I would say I feel aroused enough until we try to put anything inside.
I don't know if I have like a physical reason for this to happen, but we grew up catholic and in the beginning of our relationship, I had lots of concerning thougts about sex, that's why when we started having it, we just masturbate each other. Maybe we did this too much and now I can't feel pleasure like a normal person.
Is it 100% a religious thing or should I go to a doctor or anything?

No. 265925


I agree. Call me a pickme if you want, but I actually like anal. I can't orgasm from PIV either without clit stimulation and it's the same for anal. It's not like you don't have nerves down there. It's pleasant, and when I'm rubbing my clit I definitely cum. Probably even harder than PIV. Here come the accusations that I'm a scrote.

No. 265926


I also feel nothing from penetration. I mean, I feel it happening but it's just a neutral feeling, like inserting a tampon. Just embrace it and stimulate your clit during sex. It's fairly common from what I understand.

No. 265927

I agree, I probably wouldn't do full blown anal but I don't think it's weird for women to like it, as long as no one pressures you into it.

No. 265937

nta, but I don't experience pleasure stimulating my clit. I've never truly masturbated. I tried it three times, but each time, it was like scratching out a booger. If my boyfriend does it enough, I'll physically loosen up and get wetter, but there's literally no feeling. If he does it too aggressively or for too long, it's like the same nauseating jitters from too much caffeine, plus slight pain. I've never orgasmed. My body climaxes, my thighs shake and muscles begin to give out, but there's no feeling and mentally it's neutral and begins to feel like a chore, so there's no finish line.

No. 265942

>i've never orgasmed

goddesses are weeping

No. 265944

I have been insterting things in my butthole since I was a child. Nobody forced me into enjoying it. The first time I did it with a man and with most men I've done it, I was the one to suggest it. I can give myself a clit orgasm very easily when doing anal. Some women can truly enjoy anal sex without the influence of men or porn, get over it.

No. 265953

A warning to other anons to practice anal at their own risk; some have lost rectal functioning with just one sexual encounter and have ended up in diapers or disabled. It may be pleasurable, but is it worth it?

No. 265954

Jesus… have you tried vibrators?

No. 265958

Yes, they're awful, the over-sensation of my bf rubbing my clit but multiplied by 10.

No. 265960

Have you tried over clothes/underwear? I have an annoyingly sensitive clit but things can feel pretty good with some layers.

No. 265965

Have you tried lightly squeezing the area around your clit, like the attachment that forms into your labia minora? Or even just squeezing your legs? Direct clit stimulation is tricky but it's a pretty large organ so it can be stimulated in other ways too. Not sure if that'd do anything

No. 265968

I have tried everything mentioned. It doesn't. At least as a positive it doesn't hurt.

No. 265975

File: 1653386175636.jpg (38.4 KB, 460x500, 150.jpg)

i'm tired of having no libido. i'm gonna try doing pelvic floor exercises and take supplements.
the only time i actually managed to have sex i was drunk out of my mind so maybe it really is related to my general anxiety. i'm not anxious enough to be medicated but i think i've just grown up to be tense and overthinking at all times. early life trauma also made me very apathetic towards myself and the world around me. i want to change nonnas…

No. 265986

I don't like the idea of anal either, but this sounds like such a massive overstatement. People are not THIS fragile.

No. 266129

nta but a lot of pornstars have had those things happen to them after anal

No. 266143

They were probably being raped by a monster cock and not relaxed. I would never do it with someone I didn't trust 100%. The porn industry is horrible.

No. 266637

Just as a note, if you think anxiety contributes to having no libido, then I'd stay away from most medications since they tend to make it worse and the issues can continue even after stopping the medication. Therapy (I found CBT and other things like that more helpful than altering brain chemicals since my anxiety stemmed from irrational thoughts), exercise, better diet and supplements, and experimenting with toys can help. Good luck. I have no libido either and have been doing these things and I really hope I develop something.

No. 267165

Is it normal to not be as talkative in bed as you were with a previous partner? I dated someone younger recently and despite me having a lot of experience I was really embarrassed to talk about sex with him at times. I would get really flustered. I felt like no sexual embarassment with my previous partner and would always be the one making him flustered.
Something relevant is that my most recent ex did not like any sort of femdom stuff, even like begging or edging. My ex before him was kind of pornsick and indulged my dominance in bed whereas I felt like I never really got the chance to do what I wanted since my favorite things in the bedroom were off limits.

No. 267241

I have no libido, which irritates me because I used to be a horny person. My ex could just rub his dick against my clit and I would orgasm.
But years down the line, 2 years in a new relationship and on BC I'm dead down there. It's like I'm a shadow of my former self.
It's frustrating my partner because it seems he doesn't want to understand the situation. There's a cycle every month where he argues that I never initiate, I never do anything.

Is there any help for me nonnas?

No. 267242

Talk to your gyno about potentially changing your BC

No. 267252

And dump your worthless moid who seems to have short term memory loss and zero compassion for you. How is it that you explain things to him every month but he still picks fights with you again anc again? I know "dump him" may sound extreme at this stage but his refusal to listen, compromise, and care for you while you're in ill health indicates a larger problem. Get rid of him early and save yourself the trouble.

No. 267259

You mentioned bc so ask about switching your type. If you're on any other meds (ssris) that can cause it too. Once you've looked into those causes I feel like you still need to sit the bf down and talk to him about how applying pressure is a libido killer for us.

The cycle you're describing can sometimes do more damage than the underlying medical cause did. By now you'll associate sex with negative emotions, arguments, demand being placed upon you and pressure to do things you don't want.. it's hard to return to true intimacy after that. Depending on how bad he got with the arguing you need to at minumum have a serious discussion and say how it has felt to be on your end of this. There's a difference between discussing mismatched libido, asking for sex and then full on arguing over it. You used the word arguing which isn't a good sign. There's a line there and men crossing over that line should go fuck their own hand for eternity instead.

No. 267313

Idk nonas I think sex is ruined for me forever, the "corrective" rape from my ex bf (and by corrective I mean I would have a behavior he didn't like and he tried to "correct" it through rape), forcing amphetamines on me and the 12 hour bjs that would follow for multiple days in a row during which he would activate my childhood sexual trauma, re-enact it and basically have me dissociating and every other thing during that relationship has completely killed my drive. I've tried therapy. I've tried lots of fucking things to make this go away. But the years and years of it happening seems to have caused irreversible damage. I know this isn't asking for advice but I didn't want to put this 8n the vent thread. I am completely asexual now. Pick your moids wisely ladies, he didn't start out like this in the beginning…

No. 267316

anon this is one of the most horrendous things I have read here. I really can’t word how sorry I am you went through all of that. I don't know what to say. I am so sorry.

No. 267321

I know this isn't helpful and doesn't mean much, but I'm incredibly sorry you went through that. I hope you can find some kind of healing one day.

No. 267323

I'm having trouble forgiving myself it feels like my fault because I stayed for 8 years on and off but for some reason I loved him despite it all. When I would dissociate during sexual acts I would apparently act the age during which my abuse happened (under 13 btw) and he would ask me my age get off on that while also pretending to be my abuser. All before this even from his other exes he was a normie and very vanilla sexually, now I'm scared because he was getting off to imagine abusing a younger me that he is going to go on and abuse a young girl and it's all my fucking fault. It was like Stockholm syndrome I wish I could delete it all

No. 267384

I don't know what it is but for some reason whenever I have sex with my husband I feel like there is some mental barrier that's preventing me from enjoying sex like I want to. I've never orgasmed through sex or oral (only by masturbating alone) but when I've come close to it during sex it just stops right as it's about to happen and I don't know why. My husband is willing to learn and do whatever to please me but these constant ruined orgasms and negative experiences has really just made me feel like something is wrong with me. I start feeling like shit and then crying a lot in the middle of sex because it's so frustrating (tearing up even typing this) I so desperately want to enjoy sex to the fullest but I'm getting to the point where I think that maybe it's just better if he's the only one who feels good because I can take pleasure in that at least.

No. 267385

I'm so sorry that happened to you anon, he deserves to die

No. 267386

Do you have trauma in your history? Do you dissociate/have trouble with staying present in the moment? Have self esteem issues, hate yourself, feel you don't deserve nice things? Does receiving pleasure feel too vulnerable for you? Are there fissures and doubts in your relationship? Has your bf complained about/argued with you about you not being able to orgasm? A lot of questions here but these are just some things to think about that might be contributing to your problem.

No. 267396

i also have trouble orgasming with my girlfriend. i can only orgasm when masturbating and the only time i’ve been able to properly orgasm with my girlfriend is when i grind against either her back or her hip bone (i think this stems from the fact that my preferred masturbation method my whole life was grinding against the corner of a table or something). i don’t mind orgasming this way and my girlfriend does the same thing on occasion but i feel shitty .. kind of like i’m just using her body to masturbate instead of having sex? does anyone have any thoughts on this

No. 267397

nona im struggling to not a-log here but did you try to report him? ik it's futile oftentimes but this POS really needs to be charged and have it follow him for the rest of his life

No. 267708

I did, yes. After I called the police for him physically assaulting me. Nothing has been done.

No. 268209

File: 1654420098255.jpg (17.03 KB, 400x400, faec328aed1938c7df313343ee44b8…)

so the discussion of having sex has come up between my boyfriend and i (late 20s both, also virgins), and the topic of PiV sex is the only hurdle we've yet to fully plan on. my main concern before doing PiV is getting comfortable with the idea of penetration, hence me wanting to buy a dildo (and bullet because why not) for my use before then, but his concern is that he might not match up to it for that first time we do it together. should i proceed with the buy plan so that i can accustom myself to it all first? or would it be wiser to go human-dick-first into the pool? (before anyone asks, i am on BC)

No. 268220

Your boyfriends concern is stupid, you should do whatever you feel more comfortable with. The first time will be uncomfortable and hurt and not be pleasant at all, so his fear of being unfavorably compared to a dildo don't make sense. It really depends on if you want to share this moment with your boyfriend (something that may be important to him) or if you want to relax and do it on your own.

No. 268221

samefag to add that I personally do not like dildos at all and human dick is much better, since they are made of flesh, are warm and less hard and resistant than a dildo, which will be a much firmer and harder material and possibly hurt more.

No. 268225

Seconding this. Get a bullet, but maybe wait on the dildo until after you try sex

No. 268238

>The first time will be uncomfortable and hurt and not be pleasant at all
You had a shitty first time lover then

No. 268305

right, that makes sense. thing is i have tried penetration prior to this with a little bit of craft and want to experiement a bit more properly before hand to see if i can get to where i enjoy it (otherwise, it's a mental state of "there's a thing in my vagina" and there's no thrill of it). i was considering this one https://a.co/d/d3VNmbi from plusOne just to start off with as well, but i'm not sure if that would be any better than an actual dildo. (or i'm dumb and that's not a dildo at all) will get the bullet from that brand though, since it's affordable rn

that's a fair judgment to make when having sex for the first time though, is it not? i've told my bf that it's very likely even with all the care and comfort we give each other during it, someone could be in some level of pain or discomfort afterwards. we'll talk more on it later if that's the case, but the point being that not everyone is gonna have a great first time.

No. 269110

File: 1654743689333.jpg (Spoiler Image,36.76 KB, 432x322, 2001_19.jpg)

How do I get rid of a fat fetish? I have trouble masturbating to anything and it's gotten worse over the years. I can abstain from fat porn for months but I can't seem to cum to anything else.

I can get close with (normal) RP and thinking about rough sex but nothing else gets me over the finish line. I can't bear to get a boyfriend without becoming somewhat normal first.

(picrel, because the actual stuff is too gross)

No. 269119

What is appealing about fat people? Like are you fixated on how gross they are or what?

No. 269122

It's more like I'm the one who gets fattened, non-consensually (sometimes rapidly)

I think it's a humiliation thing. I know it's disgusting, but that's part of the appeal for me.

No. 269123

Why do you want to be humiliated, and why is that better than having someone treat you with respect and compassion during intimacy? Consider that more, and try to realize that being a disgusting, gluttonous person is not romantic, attractive, or viable long term. Being fat is unhealthy, there are consequences to that outside of a fetish which only makes you temporarily aroused. Stop fixating on degrading yourself, and develop some self worth.

No. 269124

Perhaps you have a point. I've always felt disgust towards my body ever since puberty and I have trouble losing weight (stuck on BMI of 23).

Maybe I don't feel like I deserve it.

No. 269134

can you "transfer" to a different humiliation fantasy/fetish that would be less extreme? or maybe you need to consider that simply dating and having actual sexual contact or flirting will help you snap out of your dependency. You will have to stop masturbating for a while and it might take time to cum with another person withoutit, but if the focus is on dating then just start. Don't feel the need to bring it up if it's not something you want in your sex life.

No. 269737

Is that even possible? Re-wiring your brain like that?

No. 269746

I know its about humiliation but I never understood how anyone can be okay with a man ruining their social reputation and body via feederism while he stays skinny or normal looking

No. 269753

afaik it is possible, but you'd also have to reduce if not stop masturbation for a while, then gradually reinitroduce it with different fantasies. orgasms are a very powerful conditioning tool.

No. 269869

Yeah my first experience wasn't bad sex wise (even though it wasn't consensual) but I feel like its because I broke my hymen before I had sex the first time.

I agree, using a dildo doesn't excite me and I hardly ever use it. I don't even masturbate because I enjoy having sex with someone way better.

No. 269871

As someone who comes from a religious family, the sex toys dont stimulate down there and also haven't orgasm (or at least dont know how to orgasm) I'll recommend maybe clenching down there when you have sex. When I did it with the guy I'm dating I felt his dick a bit more.

No. 270357

It might not 100% fit but I used to have a problematic fetish that stemmed from low self-esteem and abuse for almost a decade, and while I didn't have a physical reliance on it to a degree (I couldn't orgasm to it because I was on meds), it was still my favorite fantasy and something that I liked reading stories about constantly and I found things that didn't involve "it" very boring (sorry for being vague, but it's embarrassing to me).

The fact you understand the appeal for you is actually a good start. Do you find actual fatness outside that context attractive? I personally didn't find my fetish to be interesting in real life (it was immoral to me, actually), and that kind of helped me crack the code and stop being reliant on it. The fetish/fantasy was personally a metaphor for me, it represented my trauma and trying to find a context where I would've found said trauma to be comfortable. And I realized those "themes" were not exclusive to that fetish, so I kind of "branched out" to similar fantasies or milder fetishes with the same thing that were less abusive and reminiscent of things that happened to me.

I also had bad self-esteem due to weight, so I talked to my doctor about it and had him help me lose some weight. I was given a medication that can suppress appetite had him watch my eating, then started exercising. I struggled with being chubby my whole life and I likely will be in some way since my parents are too, but dropping some weight and seeing I look different raised my self-esteem slightly and the exercise kind of "stimulated" my mind a bit to be more creative and was able to have fantasies about myself that weren't degrading. I still have slightly kinkyish fantasies that are degrading, but it's usually on the side to spice things up and not exclusive anymore.

No. 270384

My husband has a big dick. No, I'm not bragging, it hurts and I lose the drive, and I end up not coming. I also end up having cramps afterward and it sucks.
I've actually bleed because of it before, and we have tried lube, specific condoms, certain positions, and nothing works. So far only riding cowgirl seems to work, but I'm tired. It feels like I'm doing all the work, and is boring. What do I do nonnas?

No. 270388

When a guys size isn't ideal I tend to find myself partaking in other kinds of sex and piv slides down the list of importance. Only ever had the opposite problem tbh but toys and oral and just not making piv the 'main event' anymore is my usual cope.

Usually works out alright as long as the guy isn't threatened by toys or dead set on finishing one way.

No. 270394

is it normal that I can't orgasm unless I'm doing kegels/clenching down intensely? I think I gained the habit from being on antidepressants my entire adolescence

No. 270396

Yesterday I had the opportunity to go full femdom on someone and it was so bad lmao… he was pratically begging to be dommed but I couldn't do it. At the end he said "wow anon, you're 100% non-violent lol".
I consider myself a pretty dominant person on the other areas of my life since I work in an area full of men (IT) and have to impose myself or else they're gonna walk all over me, but I can't translate that into sex. It feels unnatural and exhausting.
I should go back to being volcel tbh. Sex does nothing for me, I can't cum anyway

No. 270398

I do the same. I have (had) to clench pelvic and whole leg muscles to orgasm. If it works for you, that's fine. If you want to change it, what worked for me was masturbating with clenching, stiffing etc and then, right before climax, relaxing the muscles, so the orgasm delivers on relaxed body. Our bodies learn and you can change habits. You can experiment when to clench, when to relax, clench less and relax more, etc. It will get better if you keep on "exercising"

No. 270405

Well, it shouldn't be a performance. You probably felt like you had to perform for him, hence it felt unnatural and exhausting. Femdom should be him prioritizing your pleasure and orgasms, serving you, making your life easier. He was probably expecting you to do the whole typical dominatrix scene you see in porn, and there's a reason people get paid for that shit, it's work and not what actual dommes want to do. Despite what idiots online say, submission isn't passive, and dominance doesn't inherently mean active. You can make him do all the work and lie back and reap the rewards, as if you're royalty.
>At the end he said "wow anon, you're 100% non-violent lol".
Sounds like the typical lazy bottom who probably just lies there, does nothing, and passes it off as if it was a service to you. Don't worry nonnie, I will kill him for you.

No. 270407

Aw nona thank you for your sweet and attentive reply, that makes sense…! But maybe femdom isn't for me right now. I can't just lie back and relax, time to go back to therapy to work on my sex issues I guess

No. 270690

I love my fiancé to death, but he absolutely does not understand I need foreplay. He thinks "cuddles" with no caressing and going straight to penetration without touching me is going to make me cum. I ask him to touch me, but it's always half-hearted and only touching my boob for a split second. He honestly wonders why it takes a few tries to get it in. I understand he's tired from work, but I hate when I'm in the mood he'll state he's too tired, but when I'm obviously tired and not into it, he gets upset I'm not touching myself. I'm starting to get a sour mood. Best one is, "I'm doing all of the work" you are only doing what is necessary for you to get off. I know I moan, but I actually have to do that to relax so that the experience is neutral and doesn't hurt. He thinks my discharge is lube. He probably thinks I'm really into it. I try to mentally psych myself, but I'm getting so tired of it. Trying to fantasize when I have a non-existent libido and don't find anyone attractive is a chore. Last time I had butterflies I was a tween. I just want a family and an emotionally available partner, and unfortunately this is the trade-off. I don't know how to communicate what I need to him where I don't have to explain everything step-by-step like he's 5. It just makes me angry and repulsed.

No. 270701

We tried oral but honestly it doesn't do it for me, and I have a strong gag reflex, so I can't take him. Plus, he gets to cum earlier than me, and idk if I like that.
Anal isn't an option either, cause none of us like it. Fingering ends up similarly to PiV. Is nice at the beginning, but then I start getting uncomfortable if he gets too deep.
I'm big into BDSM but not only he's a huge vanilla, I also get the feeling he would suck at being a dom. This last point has actually left me frustrated for a while. Last time I was tied was about 5 years, and he would always panic about it.
I have a BadDragon and a vibrator. But the vibrator ends up numbing me instead of stimulating me, and I ended up buying the BadDragon hoping it would make it easier to take his dick. It didn't. And we we used it together, I had to explain to him I don't insert the whole dildo as it is painful, and doesn't feel good. Was hoping he would take a hint from that, and he didn't.
Guess I can try convincing him to do BDSM again. Don't want to live doomed to riding cowgirl all my life.

No. 270703

Jesus christ just break up. You're not a match.

No. 270717

>when I have a non-existent libido and don't find anyone attractive is a chore.
hold up what

No. 270738

Women should follow this simple rule: if he does not pleasure you and smell nice for you, no sex. Sex is supposed to be a two-way street. Left unchecked, most men just use their partners like a masturbatory aid instead of a living breathing partner who also has sexual needs.
Imo you need to tell him exactly what feels good, what hurts, what "too deep" is, and if he doesn't abide by that, sex ends immediately. He will either do what needs to be done or you will see he doesn't actually give a shit and you should then end the relationship. Don't be desperate and keep someone around who doesn't give a shit about your pleasure.

No. 270739

File: 1655498018812.jpg (36.18 KB, 798x644, EfXCE01UYAA8csO.jpg)

>"he's a huge vanilla"
>Bad Dragon
you don't deserve orgasms anyway

No. 270740

You don't need to do anything penetrative if you don't like it. Focus on what gets you off first. If he can't settle for that then too bad for him

No. 270768

I think you need to stop making yourself go through this…whatever the fuck this is. Sounds like self harm.

No. 270795

fucked a guy i met a club in japan and he was surprisingly good but after all that i felt immediate regret. blocked him on on socials. don't want to say i'll never do that again but im really embarrassed now about the whole thing. i think hookup culture is not for me. said that i was the first foreigner he fucked. aftercare was nice but i look back and want to crawl out of my own skin. im even embarrassed to talk about it here.

No. 270796

samefag but i need to learn self control when it comes to vodka cranberries

No. 271798

anon i have a similar fetish (arguably worse, i wont get into detail) and am managing to reroute it as this >>269134 anon has suggested. ive been working on changing it for about a year but the imagery associated with my former fetish doesnt "trigger" me anymore, whereas imagery surrounding the new fetish (good christian orgasm control and male bondage) has started to. ill still slip up and masturbate to old material every once in a while but im also trying to get off porn entirely so those are few and far between and when i do revert to porn i either automatically or force myself to watch material of the new fetish.
i realise this makes me sound like an actual retard but its so relieving not to be turned on by the insane disgusting shit i used to be. you can actually rewire this shit anon.

No. 271800

solve this or call off the wedding jesus. though i did kek at him thinking your discharge is lube, i have laughed in a guys face for trying to dirty talk me like "mmm youre already wet for me" naw u retard thats cervical mucus

No. 271907

Nonnies, I’ve been on the pill for nearly the full month now. My boyfriend and I went raw last night, we weren’t planning on it, but the condom broke. While I didn’t think about it much then, I’m having second thoughts.I’m desperately trying not to go get a plan b (I just lost my job and really can’t afford these kinds of purchases right now),I also took one a week or two ago as well, due to another incident we had, and terribly scared of putting too much strain onto my body

Am I just too anxious and paranoid, nonnies? What would be safest?

No. 271908

IDK anon, I would really try to get the money on plan B even if it's hard, if you can barely afford it, then you sure as hell can't afford abortion later if it comes to worst. Sure there's a solid chance nothing will happen, but do you really want to risk it?

No. 271909

You don't say what pill you're on or what day of your cycle you started it on so it's hard to know the risk without those details. Your doc would know.

Is your bf helping with the cost of things like BC and did he help out with the plan b from last week? With your job loss that's alot on your shoulders and ime a good test of whether a guy is worth taking on all this risk and hassle for is whether he tries to pay for or come along to appointments when it comes to birth control and plan b. Get him to step up and help if he's not already.

No. 271914

>I also took one a week or two ago as well, due to another incident we had
Nonny, I obviously don't know what prompted you to take it about a week or two ago, but please make sure you and your bf don't continue to put you/each other in this situation, especially when you can't afford it but seem to be on BC already. It's a lot for your body to deal with too. Try splitting the bill for plan B and BC with your boyfriend, since he also has a part in this. I hope everything works out for you.

No. 271915

>im really embarrassed now about the whole thing. i think hookup culture is not for me.
I feel you anon, did something similar, was fun and nice at the time; I know there's plenty of people to pay such thing no mind, but even though I did not expect it from myself at all I can't shake off the regret either. IDK how others do it and idk how come neither of us could foresee these feelings to pop up after.

No. 271921

Anecdotal evidence, stop fearmongering, it's not the case for majority of the women.

No. 271925

How do you overcome weird hangups about sex?
I've been a virgin for too long (almost 25) and now the idea of being intimate makes me deeply uncomfortable. I'm not asexual since I'm actively turned on by people and was once a pornsick coomer. It would be better if no libido was the case, but instead I'm just fucked up.

The main problem I've identified is that I dislike being desired, since I'm more comfortable with the idea of pleasuring someone else and being untouched myself. Doubly so if I imagine not being myself, if that makes sense. Even as a youth I'd imagine myself as a man fucking women and men, not as me. Maybe growing up ugly stripped me of the ability to connect with feeling sexual or whatever.

Secondarily, I've internalized some weird purity shit and am kind of comfortable being a miserable loser virgin. That's not the main problem though.

Any loser anons felt similarly and overcome it? It's not an immediate concern since I (unsurprisingly) also have problems connecting with others and maintaining relationships. It's just all a pain in the ass.
I don't want to let being a creepy uggo in my youth sentence me to a life of solitude. And I want to get laid.

No. 271930

>I just lost my job and really can’t afford these kinds of purchases right now
Hello you've got boyfriend? You're not responsible on your own for this!

Anyway ask your doc, this is shit you don't wanna bet online strangers' opinions are right.

No. 271931

I think we're not talking about the same thing anons, I meant ulipristal acetate or levonorgestrel pills, the one you take up to 72h after (Ellaone is the one I used myself). Side effect list is shorter and less severe than anything you'd find in over the counter painkillers. I cant get these without doctor's recipe in my country either but it's because my country is a retarded catholic playground that likes to restrict women's rights, not because it's more dangerous than other easily accessible medicines. Sorry for any misunderstandings here.

No. 271940

If you've been on the pill for a month, shouldn't it be…okay? Afaik it starts working after 7 days

No. 271956

roe is overturned. If you’re not already on a sex strike by now, do it. You’re a femcuck if you don’t.

No. 271971

THIS. sex strike for burger women NOW.

No. 271999

A couple of things:
- If you've been taking the pill for a month and you aren't on your sugar pills, you've taken your bc pills every day, you'll be fine. You won't get pregnant.
- The pill is not nearly as reliable as something like the rod or the IUD, which both last years and (in my country at least) works out cheaper than refilling your pill prescription every time it runs out. You'd have a lot more peace of mind if you had a more affective method of BC

No. 272000

Honestly this is something only a psych would be able to help you work through. If that's not affordable for you, I'd consider getting more in touch with your body (i.e. touching yourself without any visual stimulation, try imagining yourself pleasuring others instead of you as a man)
I'll also say that it's more than ok to not like receiving. With women I exclusively give, mostly for the reason that I need A LOT of stimulation that most people's hands/mouths can't do. So, I've always preferred and derived pleasure from watching other people get off from my doing.

You mentioned purity culture as well, which is something so ingrained that it really can't be undone without lots of reading and professional help. That stuff is instilled in you so young that unpacking it is weighty.

No. 272013

File: 1656155830200.jpg (13.46 KB, 300x272, R-5807702-1403225080-6206.jpg)

So I'm seeing this guy and things are getting more and more heated with every meeting and I have some questions:
- Should I tell him I'm unexperienced in sex?
- When should I tell him I have vaginismus or should I mention it at all? I never had penetrative sex and could never insert a dildo in myself or have a proper gynecological examination. What I'm hoping is that these were just because I wasn't relaxed enough and maybe with him it's going to be different

We had 3 dates so far (we have once a week because we're both busy)and made out heavily on our last one and it scared me a bit as I have never been touched this much in my life kek (he was like reaching into my pants and was fondling my breasts). Is this too fast I wonder? When do people have sex after seeing each other in general?

No. 272024

Based. Best course of action. Also try to limit all interaction with men where possible while still being able to own a house and eat. Choose women owned or at least women majority businesses to patron, give male businesses as little as money as possible (preferably none unless it is the only viable option for you), delete all dating apps/accounts, etc.

No. 272025

To add, if men don't see women as people and as a service instead, don't serve men in any way. You owe them nothing.

No. 272125

You should tell him these things now nona before it goes any further. A good guy will understand and take it slow but if you don't tell him and he is a good guy and he hurts you because he didn't know he will feel bad and that is not how you want to start a sexual relationship.

Make sure you are very wet and relaxed and tell him to start with oral if you are comfortable or just 1 finger and work your way up.
Please do not be afraid to ask him to stop you can always try again another time but hurting yourself will just add trauma and anxiety around sex.

>When do people have sex after seeing each other in general?

Honestly this can wildly vary and there is no right answer. I have fucked on the first date and also waited a few dates and honestly fucking earlier usually lead to a longer relationship.
It's whenever you both feel comfortable. If him touching you like that on the last date was moving too fast, tell him that. If you liked it but still don't want to go further than that yet, tell him that.
Don't let anyone tell you that you are moving too fast or too slow not even him. It has to feel right to you.

Communicate and if he isn't communicating find another who will.

No. 272171

I have it as well nonnie and sex is still much easier than gyno exams for that exact reason. I usually talk about it at the point you’re at now, keeping it simple and no one has ever had a problem with it. Talking about it and knowing they understand helps a lot, because it takes away the worry that they’ll react badly in the moment and you’ll know you’re both on the same page. Take it slow, get some lube, and don’t put too much pressure on yourself to get there right away

No. 272450

I told him and he was so understanding about it!! He also shared with me that he used to have erectile dysfunction so he understands how I feel

No. 278543

can someone tell me what to actually do or how to move during sex because i just got my first bf and have no idea wtf im doing and tbf hes no expert either

when we fuck its like two oldies scared of breaking a hip. i know theres something i can do like maybe moving around a certain way or bending a certain way for some positions i just dont know what and i cant exactly coach my bf to do anything differently either since its my first time being physically intimate

No. 278575

Focus on what feels good.
I like missionary, my partner normally lifts my hips and I curve and tuck my butt in (like I’m working out) it lets him stimulate my clit when he slides all the way in and he can rub where it feels good inside. This only works with foreplay though because I have to be fully aroused to feel good with penetration.
When having sex it’s a little different from masturbating. When you’re alone you tend to be in one position and it can train your muscles to orgasm like that and can make it hard in other positions.
Take it slow and communicate while you find what you like. Having a partner that listens and wants to make you feel good is important more than anything else. The wrong person and the sex will always be bad

No. 278581

How old is he? If he’s not in his fifties already (you’re not dating geriatric scrotes, are you?) having erectile dysfunction is an extreme red flag. It’s the biggest give away of coomerism, it’s not normal AT ALL for young men to have it. It was proved in the 90s that corn addiction’s effect on the brain is irreversible, that’s why it’s illegal to conduct scientific research on it now. I don’t want to worry you, but I recommend treading carefully.

No. 278610

mid 30s and he said it's a psychological thing (the pressure of performing makes him wither)

No. 278611

I’d be careful anon. Most men that say that are actually just porn addicts

No. 278617

Ewwww, anon no. I really don’t believe he’s so psychologically tortured by the concept of satisfying you that his entire reproductive system shortcircuits.

No. 278630

File: 1659119360400.jpeg (102.9 KB, 907x1360, D4ABBC7D-88E6-4EBA-8264-1CCA55…)

Has anyone read this? I have some anxiety and poor body image issues which makes sex not so fun or pleasurable. I’m always in my head worried about how I look, which makes initiating and cumming difficult. I’ve seen several people say this book saved their sex life but I thought I’d ask here since you’re all brutally honest for the most part…

No. 278635

Okay so I'm married and lost my virginity to my husband
But even before we married I was never sexually attracted to him. I have been sexually attracted to my ex boyfriends before I met him but those relationships never went anywhere
When we married and we lost our virginities to each other it of course hurt a lot and I was super nervous instead of turned on but thats to be expected
Everytime we have sex though now it hurts like crazy because I'm never turned on by him and even foreplay feels like a chore
Its like I have a mental block against finding anything he does hot and instead I'm completely zoned out and just want to get it over with
Its reached a point where I get no satisfaction at all and just give him a bj or a titjob so he can cum
I am going to a gynecologist soon to ask to go back on birth control so we can try having regular sex again
I just want it to feel good for me and actually orgasm for once. I can only cum from masturbating with a shower hose and imagining being with an ex of mine instead

No. 278638

Anon, that is NOT to be expected. He just doesn’t care about your comfort. The situation he’s putting you in sounds awful. If I were in your place I would dump him. You shouldn’t have to tolerate his bullshit.

No. 278641

Why did you marry a man you're not sexually attracted to? No amount of therapy or marriage counseling will fix that.

No. 278645

anon please stop hurting yourself emotionally and physically for a marriage with a man you have no attraction towards

No. 278647

For fuck sake stop marrying ugly men you're not attracted to!

No. 278648

I mean, she's literally fantasizing about her ex while having sex with him. No partner no matter how receptive can fix that. Your mental state affects whether you can be properly aroused. If she never finds him attractive, it is a problem that she married him - that's a choice she shouldn't have made considering it's not a way to escape a worse situation.

No. 278658

I've been single for a couple years and the main thing I miss sexually is waking my ex up in the middle of the night to play with him/blow him because we worked different hours and he'd be in bed before me. That became our routine towards the end. I don't miss piv much. I don't miss receiving oral all that much. I miss that more than anything. Those are the memories I still get hot over. He had alot of faults as a person but I told him early on to never nag me for oral. He stuck to that and I ended up being the one getting really into it after a while. Before him every other ex had been naggy and it ruined the act. It made me dread being asked. Pressure ruins sex for me. It seems like such a small thing but I felt safe and like I could enjoy myself for the first time. Him being sleepy, him not asking for it, him just waking up and being grafeful that I'm there and I'm offering. Its like this comfort zone was unlocked. And then I lost him.

I'm worried that I want to dip my toes back into dating but I've spent these couple years reliving that as my fantasy at night. I catch myself thinking that I need to find a guy to reenact that with. I don't like how much my ex is all wrapped up in my fantasy life to this day. I get that there was probably mild sexual trauma that was helped by the time I had with him feeling safe but..At this stage do I force myself to seperate my fantasies away from him? It never really occured to me how long its been and I'm still replaying those scenes. I'm a lil weirded out that I couldn't care for other forms of sex right now. Maybe that'll come back in time if I meet someone but it feels wrong to even start dating knowing this shit fills my mind. At first the heartbreak stopped me from going there as much but now theres no barrier. Do I just need to have a fresh sexual experience to move forward? Do I wait?

No. 278665

My husband is still suffering from the abuse of his ex wife, and I'm trying so hard to build his confidence.

Like many men he is vain to a certain point, and some days he is quite puffed up and filled with bravado. That doesn't bother me at all, he does it in a very endearing way. However, when I compliment him genuinely he shrugs it off or makes a flippant comment like "Oh that's just the brainwashing taking effect" or respond "Compared to who??" He isn't mean spirited about these comments, he is just so self-deprecating it breaks my heart. In HS he hardly received female attention, if someone was interested he didn't realize it at the time.

Getting to his ex… she was absolutely horrid to him. Abusive and manipulative. Would say things like "If you could just back into your highschool shape, I'd be more attracted to you… you're just a little too heavy for me still." The man was well under 200 pounds, working out regularly and starving due to putting her through law school. When he wrestled he was seven percent body fat, which meant he had to get into a fight every day for hours to maintain that physique. He did finally open up to me about all the horrible fights and her tearing him down every chance she got.

During those moments, and spontaneously, I will hold him and whisper how much I love him. How special he is to me and how attractive I find him. No matter my approach it seems like he doesn't believe my honest words. What else can I do to help the love of my life see himself how I see him? I don't wait for those hard memories to express how I see him. I do so nearly every day when I'm inspired to do so.

No. 278667

What >>278575 said. 100%.

Don't focus on making it perfect, or what you've read about or seen in the media. Do what feels good for you both. That's what will lead to great sex. Don't be afraid to communicate or talk while having sex. Sometimes goofy things will happen while in the throes. Laugh it off, have fun and enjoy one another. That's what makes sex wonderful. Also, practice makes perfect.

No. 278673

If he's this much of a mess over words from a previous wife then he either remarried real quick or he's milking these stories about the mean things his ex said.

I'm trying to be understanding but I've divorced someone after abuse myself and I still can't get him being in this state during a whole new marriage. Not even dating… remarried and hes like this. Will he be telling his next wife every mean thing you ever said to him someday? Sounds like it. Stop babying a grown man.

No. 278680

I hear you. He's not a broken mess or anything, he just cannot accept compliments at all. Guess I painted him that way and that's not entirely accurate. You're right, though. I should stop being overly kind and giving him butt pats. I should change my approach, be direct and tell him to move on or seek therapy if he can't accept my genuine compliments. I mean, we're in year four. Should be making progress by now. I appreciate the brutal honesty, thank you.

No. 278686

It's on libgen, just pirate it and see if it's something for you

No. 278714

Is it normal to lose libido while not on bc or anything?
The only real changes are that I quit porn, lost weight, and reached my mid twenties. I'm still a virgin for various reasons, unsure if that could contribute. Has it just gone on too long so my libido gave up kek?

Not to say it's completely gone. But I used to be insatiable and a gross coomer who basically thought of sex 24/7. I still think of it often, but get aroused and masturbate a lot less. A reduction from 2-3 times a day to maybe once a week if I find the time. Currently my fantasies are kind of for the aesthetic and mood, maybe a bit out of habit.

There are no intentions to get laid anytime soon so "fixing" this is solely for my benefit. It's mainly just a weird shift, even if it may be for the best at the end of the day.

No. 278715

File: 1659146770389.jpg (206.57 KB, 1023x731, 26282324630_a12823fe3f_b.jpg)

Damn nonnie, here I thought corn was part of a healthy diet, now you're telling me it causes irreversible brain damage? I have a chowder going as we speak!

No. 278718

How long has your libido been low? What you're describing just sounds like a normal fluctuation tbh. Our libidos aren't going to be high 100% of the time. You mentioned a couple of lifestyle changes, I'd honestly just put it down to that. I'm sure it'll creep back in time, you mentioned yourself you've stopped cooming endlessly to porn, which would be enough of a change on its own.

No. 278769

I'd accept this excuse if it was only your first time together and/or if he was a blushing virgin. Anything else and he is a coomer.

No. 278777

>The only real changes are that I quit porn
I feel like that explains it. Getting back to the basics of using your imagination after being used to porn for years.. takes some time to retrain yourself to get aroused without this crutch.

No. 278789

Nta but I feel like it's really hard. I've been pornfree for at least two and half years with zero cravings but I still can't masturbate without resorting to coomer scenarios that don't make me orgasm. My imagination is still fucked. I know it's getting better because I have sensual sex dreams semi-regularly, that are exactly what I crave, but I can't seem to replicate them when I'm consciously fantasizing as I always end up with some bullshit 3rd person porn-like pov images and I hear repeated in my head cliche fanfiction erotica lines.

No. 278794

It's been considerably lowered in the past year, but I quit porn about 3 years ago now (with some slip ups but rarely any more). But honestly even sexual content like erotic art doesn't do much for me any longer.
It does coincide with me losing the last 10 lbs due to digestive and sports injury issues. Maybe that last 10 was keeping my hormones horny.
Actually, could no longer lifting weights cause this? I get exercise but no lifting.

Luckily I always used my imagination alongside porn so this wasn't a huge issue. Helped me quit a bit more easily than people who struggle with visualization.

No. 279015

>my husband is still suffering from the abuse from his ex-wife
And you believed his “muh crazy ex girl” story?

No. 279021

Anon, here’s a more detailed response. Saying “you’re ugly because you’re a deathfat” isn’t abuse. If you’re into butterball porkchop boys that’s fine, but crying on lolcow of all places because your Nigel isn’t embracing his natural curves like he’s in a ‘bodypositive’ lizzo music video at all times is ridiculous. He’s a grown man with a degree, if he has the humor of a zoomer pointing at a trash can and saying ‘me’ then that’s his own fucking problem. You’re coddling a heckin’ 200 pound chonker like an infant.

No. 279566

The "abuse" is the ex saying she's not attracted because his body changed… he got fat… kek

No. 280055

What is considered a healthy "power dynamic" (or whatever you'd call it) during sex? I think I'm the porn sick one in our relationship because I'll ask my partner to spank me using a belt or call me names and he apologies and goes soft after a while. I enjoy it and he will try his hardest to do it but he mostly enjoys vanilla sex/rough sex as in playful spanking and going faster. I don't feel satisfied but I think it's me who is in the wrong not him.

No. 280062

i couldn't care less honestly. you also sound gullible

No. 280068

i don't think your desires are healthy, no. i also think it's a HUGE mistake to push a guy to be in any way more violent with you during sex or sexual situations. the male brain is retarded and training it to associate sex with violence is moronic and dangerous

No. 280084


Before you go into sex, please sit down and do a kink checklist/bdsm checklist with him about what he wants and what you want. It should take an hour or so. Go over it together, decide what you both want and state in no uncertain terms what you expect from him and what he expects from you.

You should be doing regular meta-talks or checkins to discuss what is and isn't working in the bedroom.

Do you have a safeword? (Both verbal and non-verbal).

A healthy power exchange involves a ton of communication and setting expectations ahead of time of what power you want to give him, and even what power he wants to take.

It sounds like right now there is no communication happening outside of sex and it's making the both of you frustrated, and it's incredibly dangerous to ask him to do impact play/humiliation play without setting some guardrails for the both of you (What if he takes it too far? What if he doesn't know how to use a belt properly?)

BDSM doesn't have to be about pornsickness, or derived from it, but it does have to be done with intention.

No. 280085

kinda fucked to make anyone participate in that but your scrote is stupid for going along, even when he is losing a boner.

No. 280093

What exercises are good for building leg endurance? When I'm on top I can actually go for 15+ minutes pretty hard/fast but I can definitely feel it walking up stairs the next morning. What exercises can I do?

No. 280117

Why do some of you guys want to corrupt perfectly fine men? Stop being self-loathing, and getting off to being degraded, it should be a good thing your bf isn't aroused by belittling you.

No. 280118

No. 280123

>>280084 I completely understand your advice and I agree people can do as they wish but I don't think it's a healthy mentality to ask him to act that way like other people have said.
>>280117 >>280068 We talked about it before, he told me he could never lay a hand on me because he couldn't live having hurt someone. Him and his sibling were beaten as children by his mom. I was assaulted by a relative as a child. I think at this stage he has matured from his experience and he wants to better himself. I don't feel like I've grown from my experience. I don't know why or how to get better.

No. 280511

>BDSM doesn't have to be about pornsickness, or derived from it
well too bad cause it always is

No. 280513

lmaooo fucking hell nothing makes my pussy drier than the thought of a ~kink checklist~ or any of this corny formalized bdsm shit.

At absolute best, bdsm is lame and cringy. At worst, it's abusive and degrading. The only advice worth taking on it is: get better taste. This goes 1000x time over for 'submissive' women.

No. 280527

Do those of you that live with your partners masturbate at all? I just moved in with my girlfriend and realized that I'm way too uncomfortable with the idea of masturbating while she's in the house even though sometimes I want to when I'm awake in the middle of the night and having trouble sleeping.

No. 280533

i used to feel really bad about the times i would masturbate when my girlfriend was in the house but then i told her and she told me i was being silly and it wasn’t a problem if i wanted to

No. 280534

Your partner is literally right there, why not just have sex?

No. 280537

Yeah I do, usually when he's at work, but when he's here I just don't know how to tell him I'd like some alone time.

No. 280549

I only masturbate when my husband is at work, if I'm particularly horny kek

No. 280551

No. We fuck every day if not 2x a day so there is no need.

No. 280557

she might not be in the mood. or sometimes i just want to masturbate. it’s a completely different thing to having sex for me

No. 280558

Cause it's weird.. seriously I would not be ok with my husband just jerking off while I am right there and available or jerking off next to me in bed while I am sleeping like that other anon said. Just have sex with your partner if you are horny and they are right there.

No. 280570

I'd get it if maybe it was during the day or anon spent more time masturbating than she did being intimate with her girlfriend, but anon specified it happens when she's awake in the middle of the night and can't sleep. Personally I'd be annoyed if I was asleep and my partner woke me up and said they wanted to have sex lol, especially if I had shit to do the next day. Just goes to show that people have different drives and boundaries when it comes to that kind of stuff.

No. 280587

Yeah, I really try to avoid waking her up in the middle of the night. We've talked and she's comfortable with me masturbating I just personally feel too weird to actually do it. My options are either to do it while she's asleep next to me or go into another room I guess and I don't like either.

No. 280652

I could see how it could be an uncomfortable situation. I think your only options (unless I'm overlooking something) are to not do it and wait it out, wake her up for sex, masturbate next to her, or do it in another room. I think it really depends on what you're most comfortable with. I definitely wouldn't feel comfortable masturbating next to someone, but I'm sure I'd be able to find an area in my apartment (hypothetically if I didn't live in a studio kek) that I could make into a comfy space where I'd feel comfortable enough to do it. Again, it's up to what's most comfortable for you though! There are also people who just stop masturbating once they live with their partners because it's hard to feel comfortable with that.

No. 280735

Personally I'd go in the shower then and maybe masturbate with the shower head or something but that might wake her up depending on how loud it is.

No. 282950

File: 1661112065868.jpg (49.52 KB, 736x463, 1657164464435.jpg)

I'm so scared that I'll never be able to orgasm from normal sex and idk what to do about it. I've never even had a proper strong orgasm even while masturbating, only small ones that I get by crossing my legs and squeezing my thighs together. I've tried masturbating using my fingers, rubbing my clit, using toys, but I can never get there like it feels good but then I get tired and I stop and I never feel it coming. Even getting eaten out doesn't work for me. I like it when I'm on top and especially when he can hit my cervix but I still don't think I could orgasm from it. Any nonnies with a similar problem who have any advice?

No. 282996

How embarrassing is it to have gay sex for the first time? Are the expectations there for me to be a pro right away?
I intend to ask for preferences and guidance since we're all different anyway, but is there a point where asking gets awkward? Like will it be assumed that I know some things?

This is especially nerve-wracking for me since I'm kind of opposed to being touched myself. Perhaps with the right person, but generally my ideal sex scenario involves pleasuring a woman with no or little reciprocation. But that means the pressure is on me to perform well and that's fucking terrifying.

Not that I'm getting laid any time soon. But the older I get the worse I feel about my complete lack of experience.

No. 282998

I have the same problem nonnie let's pray somebody has a solution

No. 283084

File: 1661172604639.jpg (90.18 KB, 720x1198, sub-buzz-2953-1591293394-10.jp…)

Sorry for this response since a lot of people say this, but have you tried these clitoris sucking toys? I wasn't able to cum with my partner until I use this while we fuck, especially with doggy style it feels good. Another thing that has worked for me is him using a pulsating shower head on my clit. If you haven't tried give it a go! You can do it!

No. 283086

Anon, 90-95% of women will never cum from PIV which is something to be proud of, not worry about. Your body is yours, it’s not catered to males. You don’t need to degrade the endless possibility it has for pleasure to revolving around “man and his dick.”

No. 283087

This is the good shit. I don't have sex, only masturbated, and clit suckers are the holy grail.

No. 283126

I gave up trying to orgasm from piv sex, it's just impossible for me. I can orgasm with my fingers alone in about 5 minutes but my advice still might work for you. You should first get a toy, either a clit sucker like nonnies recommended or a vibrating one (I have tango X, does the job well) and then just go to town, alone. Once you get used to it introduce it to your boyfriend and use it together. That's the only way for me.

No. 283178

It's an interesting book, but it personally wasn't helpful for me. It barely touches on sexual trauma outside a page mentioning it and has absolutely nothing about libido issues from medication. It seems to be mostly aimed for normie women in a relationship with a situationally low libido and/or anorgasmia. I just found it online for free, so reading it wasn't a huge loss besides making me sad.

No. 283217

my Nigel of 6 years is good in bed, he loves to please and usually makes sure I cum from fingers/oral or whatever before we even do piv. all in all the sex is good, but I can never initiate it. Don't get me wrong, I have a sex drive and I masturbate a lot but it never make an occasion of it, like ill go for a piss and rub one out in a minute or 2, never really sit down with myself and treat myself good. He tries to initiate sex often but if im not in the mood right there and then I just say no (which he always respects and never pressures me or makes me feel bad for it), but I feel like I should be making more of an effort to WANT to have sex. any nonnies got any advice? for the record, I am attracted to him, but sometimes I forget that we're in a relationship and we aren't just friends. he also sometimes struggles to cum because he smokes so much fucking weed.

No. 283390

I'm depressed, anons.

I feel like I don't have a chance at a healthy sexuality. If I wear lingerie, if I do anything outside of vanilla sex and a blowjob, I feel okay or excited at first, and then I just feel immediate self loathing. I'm so afraid of going outside anything normal because I've had such bad experiences over my whole life with men forcing me to do things.

The thing that I feel conflicted about is how things will make my body feel good, but I mentally feel shot by doing them. I don't understand boundaries, really, I've just adopted the idea of trying to do whatever the man wants because I am afraid I'll be abandoned or undesired. I don't even know how people go about it - how can you develop boundaries over things you haven't experienced? My boyfriend, for instance, refuses anything related to anal with him. That's fine. But I'm always amazed how you can decide that when you don't even know if it would feel good or not.

An example of things that physically feel good but make me feel like shit the day after is anything related to my ass. My boyfriend sucks at eating me out, I have a tiny, sensitive clit and you basically can't do anything to it, me included, or it'll feel uncomfortable. So, he eats my ass. It feels good, but it makes me not feel mentally good for whatever reason. I also have enjoyed him fingering me in the ass, but again, it mentally makes me feel shot. The difficult thing is that he sees I react with pleasure and he feels bad about not being able to pleasure me through eating me out, so he really enjoys doing anal stuff to me because he feels good that he can pleasure me. The thing is, my ex would anally rape me while I was unconscious and would cum in my mouth and pressure me into anal, especially because he would complain my vagina was too tight which makes me feel inferior for having a worse vagina than my asshole so I think I have a PTSD type of response to it, like the day after anything anal related even though we obviously don't do anal itself, I cry, feel insecure, and it makes me feel physically ill when I go to the bathroom because it reminds me of the days after I would get raped/etc.. I don't know how to process this. I wish I could enjoy things without it reminding me of that. But I literally am so afraid of anything even not related to anal because I fear we won't have vanilla sex again, or at least that we won't have it again without the guy not enjoying it and wishing he could be doing anal instead.

I feel too sick to tell my boyfriend this because I don't know how to do it kindly and without referencing my ex. I feel like I'm ruined and I know it is my fault because I stayed with this ex. I wish I could like things sexually or know my boundaries. I guess truthfully I find anal related activities just gross regardless of how good they make me feel, I'd rather just not do it and feel okay rather than do it and feel bad. But I think I also feel bad for no good reason, I don't know if I should fight against feeling bad because that's like letting my ex win? I also feel weird my boyfriend is comfortable with expressing his boundaries and I feel like I could never do that because I'd be afraid of him being repulsed by me for that, even though he wouldn't act like that.

I just need advice on how to talk about this without seeming insane or crazy or BPD because I am BPD and I'm trying to be as rational about this as possible because it's not my boyfriend's fault I feel this way.

No. 283393

Further confusing to me is how I also was raped many times orally by my ex as well, violently, in front of people, etc. but I quickly got over feeling like shit about blowjobs with my current bf because the thing is, I really love giving blowjobs, I like the process, the smells, the whole experience, and I've never felt "bad" mentally about it the way I do about anal related activities.

No. 283399

What even is the question here? You should respect your man's boundaries about anal stuff if he doesn't want to do it. Men who enjoy anal sex only enjoy it because of how degrading and painful it is for the women, no other reason. Anal doesn't actually feel better for them (several scrotes have confirmed this) because it's just a smooth flesh tube and only tight around the entrance while the vagina is tight and ribbed throughout. Be happy your man loves you and doesn't want to degrade you.

No. 283402

For sure, it just makes me feel bad he likes eating my ass out and fingering it because he's seen that I positively react even though it mentally stresses me out. His boundary is anything anal that involves him i.e. anal sex, me doing anything to him, etc. but he is fine with doing stuff to me since I react positively even though it mentally screws with me.

Anything other than vanilla nude sex and bjs makes me insecure afterwards - wearing lingerie has a similar effect to the buttplay. It makes me feel like shit because I project how my ex was onto my boyfriend. I feel sick and violated even though it's consensual and i am fine with it. I want help with those feelings.

No. 283413

Don't do things you're uncomfortable with. With time you will forget about your ex and become comfortable with your new boyfriend, you two can make your own memories and experiences it just takes time. Don't rush yourself when you are getting over something traumatic.

No. 283419

We have been together for 3 years. I feel like that's still pretty new, but I feel embarrassed that I am not comfortable with anything spicy in the bedroom, mostly just because of fear and shame regardless if I like the activities or not.

No. 283420

Most people have happy healthy sex-lifes without doing "spicy" things like anal. People who aren't pornsick are happy and satisfied with vanilla sex.

No. 283424

Okay nonnies I have nobody else to bring this to bc its so embarrassing to even talk about, so here goes. Getting my pussy eaten really makes me nervous, for a lot of reasons (the vulnerability, my inexperience, body image, past partners being very meh about it) and it's always bothered me that I'm the only women I know who doesn't get the hype around it. I'm hanging out with someone soon who has a lot of experience and we're really attracted to each other and I'd really like this to happen for me so I can have a good experience for once. Does anyone have any tips on how to relax, what it's supposed to feel like, how to get out of my self consciousness during it, etc? I'm afraid I'll lay there panicking the whole time. Also I keep freaking myself out thinking that because my inner lips are kind of big (they're bigger than my outer ones, and asymmetrical) that the extra flesh or whatever will get in the way of my clit and I won't be able to cum. Am I retarded for worrying about this? Somebody help lol

No. 283428

Stupid question but I need some advice on riding ontop a guy, cow girl position, how do I get better at it? Everytime i'm in that position it hurts my hips after a bit. Sometimes i'm not even able to slip it in properly and I struggle with my hip movement.

I do have wide hips and a plus size body, I have a full figure body.

No. 283439

you need to practice the position at home to make your muscles used to it. me and my bf do it all the time but it hurt like that at first.

No. 283501

you're worrying far too much nonna. what you're describing is a normal vulva, please don't feel insecure about being a woman and having a vagina that doesn't look like a childs. Try and focus on him and his movements instead of your own; watch how his shoulders move or play with his hair. Try and forget the body you're in and just experience the pleasure

No. 283502

100 squats a day for a month and you will see improvement in the right muscle groups

No. 283511

Just talk to him about it. If you're close enough to have sex, you're close enough to talk about sex. If he's a good lover he'll be more attentive and comfort you in all the ways you need.
That being said, I understand the insecurity about your vulva. I have inner labia that are on the bigger side and they are also waaaay darker than my actual skin tone. For the longest time I felt that I was ugly down there, it's not pink and pretty and neat. In the end it doesn't matter. They're genitals, they're not supposed to be picture perfect. Despite me feeling ugly as fuck, all my exes ate my pussy like it was their last meal on earth, called me beautiful, said they loved eating me out, would always initiate, etc. If the guy is attracted to you, he'll find everything about your body attractive. If he judges your vulva or any part of your body, he's an asshole who deserves to jerk off alone in his basement forever. Simple as.

No. 283522

I always refused oral too because I was insecure, eventually my boyfriend just told me to lay down and got to work and it was AMAZING I’m talking blackout orgasms. Now he does that almost every time we have sex or just by itself. Don’t worry about anything getting in the way, he can spread it open just fine and the tongue does most of the work. Usually it takes a little bit to really get worked up and I did have to get used to the sensation because I had never experienced clit stimulation that way.

No. 283523

I've been with guys before (when I was much younger) who were complimentary towards me after oral but.. were shitting on other womens anatomy in the process. Or praising my taste/smell/hygiene but again at the expense of some ex they're putting down. I bit my tongue att but looking back its messed up how openly some do that. If you compared a mans dick size to your exes they'd know thats fucked up. Realistically yeah there are men who are somehow super judgemental and who find natural variatons in anatomy offputting. They're shitheads tho. With the exception of you walking around unwashed or with an active infection.. there's nothing wrong with whats down there.

A good way of seperating the 'insane vulva judgers' from the rest is how they react to things like you not showing up shaved. Ime men who are very hung up on shaving are the same ones who have all these weird views about your vulva needing to be all perfect and sterile. Be fussy about who you let near it because if you let the wrong guy near it.. they turn around and think they have the right to be all fussy.

No. 283526

Every time I try penetration (partnered or by myself) I feel as though my vagina closes up when I open my legs too wide. I've had the most success with my legs only slightly apart but this makes it pretty challenging to have penetrative sex with a guy. Anyone have suggestions?

No. 283565

Thank you guys for responding with so much sympathy and support. Yall said a lot of things my irl female friends said and I will definitely focus on it instead of my insecurities. I have talked to him about what I've been feeling and he's been very supportive and caring about it so I honestly don't think he will give a shit how I look. I appreciate you Nonnas!

No. 283575

When you’re bent over or on your stomach you can keep your legs closed more, also standing

No. 284153

hi nonas!! do any of you have trouble with post sex pain? it usually happens me and my bf go at it for too long after the Wetness has dissipated, then it’s a few days of pain, and itching, and then pain again.. idk how normal this is, i feel like i am waay too sensitive. this time it has been around 8 days T_T but i think it has been this long because at around the 6 day mark i thought it was mostly better so we did some non piv sex like eating out and just a single finger knuckle in my coochie.. perhaps a mistake.. i hope i am not dying. it will get better eventually… i assume… probably…(T_T)

No. 284178

nona for the love of god use lube

No. 284200

this is true…… i don’t like using it often cause it’s gross…. but a small price to pay so i am not crippled… need disability bux for this…

No. 284203

Stop typing like a fucking retard and lurk more, and if your bf has a dry af cut dick then yes you need lube

No. 284211

Please learn to integrate. This isn't Kiwifags

No. 284231

The lube advice is obvious but tbh if you're not feeling back to normal within a couple days that stands out as way beyond the norm. 6 to 8 days of pain or irritation after sex is doctor territory.

No. 284235

File: 1661772420761.gif (2.54 MB, 241x246, 2F2B115C-9535-4935-B91E-AF69E0…)

>I meet a guy
>we like each other a lot
>I romanticise him a huge amount
>he does one thing that disrupts my image of him
>I’m shattered
>obviously he’s just a lying useless scrote who’s just using me for sex
>I start spiralling about how I’m never gonna find love, every man I meet is just going to use me and throw me aside like everyone else before
>he’s probably got a girlfriend back home and he’s just using me for sex to boost his own ego because I’m no good for anything else
>I panic over any possible slight STD symptoms no matter how unlikely because of course if he lied about everything else he probably gave me AIDS too just to be funny
>I don’t see him anymore
>I calm down and get normal again
>I meet a guy
Nonnas wtf is wrong with me? I know this seems like an odd thread to post in but it’s because these feelings only ever come on after I’ve slept with them, no matter how well they take care of me or how much they assure me they actually like me. I’ve convinced myself that every guy I’ve ever dated was just cheating on another girl with me. How do I stop being so crazy and obsessive? This has happened 3 times over the space of 2 years.

No. 284246

No. 284256

It could be a lot of things
>> BPD
>> Autism and Abuse
>> Attachment Trauma
>> etc
Have you thought about trying to talk to a female counselor or therapist?

No. 284264

OT but I hope that cat isn't having a seizure

No. 284265

I think it's someone holding it by the scruff and shaking it

No. 284272

Sounds very similar to one of the main bpd traits.
>It's common with borderline personality disorder for a person to idealize a friend, family member, or loved one. They feel intense closeness towards that person and place them on a pedestal. This can quickly and unpredictably change to intense anger toward that person, a process called devaluation.
I've known someone who struggled with it and tbh they weren't too bad as a friend but romantic relationships were a nightmare because having sex and that level of intimacy would set it off majorly. Then the more you have bad experiences with men the more it builds.

No. 284301

Does cut/uncut affect whether you need lube?
t. virgin

No. 284308

Yes. You can use the foreskin to cover his head while you're giving him a handjob. A cut pp needs lube, you can't mess with it unless it has some wetness on it.

No. 284312

This is garden variety bpd.

No. 284313

Yes. Cut men are more dry

No. 284320

tbh pain and itching for >7 days fter sex is more likely a bacterial infection than anything else… Either ur bf needs to clean his dick more thouroughly or use protection.

No. 284340

Do you use any lube when you're no longer wet? If so, it could be the lube irritating you. Some soreness is normal if you go too long or too hard but not itching and pain. Also does he wash his hands before touching you?

No. 284746

Hey so it’s >>284235 back again and I just wanted to thank everyone who said it sounded like bpd, I’ve done some research and it sounds almost spot on for all the symptoms I’ve thought were low level anxiety or depression. Gonna start looking for professional help on Monday. Never let anyone tell you that this website is useless ladies.

No. 285140

Does anyone have any advice on how to prepare for anal sex? How do you get your body to relax during it?

No. 285142

File: 1662227861847.jpg (89.75 KB, 828x1028, FR9Sn2kUcAITvJm.jpg)


No. 285150

Please don’t do it. Any man who wants to fuck you in the ass is a coomer or a faggot. You don’t want to have a doctor up there stitching you up. Stand up to degenerate culture, for your daughters if not for yourself.

No. 285152

if you can't relax during it (or any other sex act really) you shouldn't do it at all

No. 285154

I did it for the first time yesterday and enjoyed it. By relax I mean foreplay/how fast or slow you should go.

No. 285158

Degenerate behavior

No. 285159

You couldn’t waterboard this out of me.

No. 285161

Asking for advice on a sex act after you've already tried it and you report it going well.. whut

No. 285163

No. 285164

I mean anon, we can't tell you what to do for foreplay. It's completely your preference and up to what you like. I guess go slow since you're new to anal.

No. 285167

>for your daughters if not for yourself
What does this even mean. Who said anon has kids, and why would they know that she did anal

No. 285170

Why in the world would you do this to yourself

No. 287340

Wtf are you supposed to say during sex acts? I really want to give my boyfriend a handjob (I know that sounds incredibly teenage, but I'm a virgin and want to take things slow) but talking 'sexy' would be so out of character for me it would border on comical and I don't want there to just be silence. Do we just talk regularly about our day? Do I discuss the weather? Or is this something that only makes you worry beforehand and everything in the moment feels very natural?

No. 287342

Maybe just kiss? Idk, talking has always felt awkward to me.

No. 287349

Kek I don't want to do that because we're both really bad kissers.

No. 287449

Uhmm.. certainly not the time for small talk about the weather. Just don't say anything if you don't know what to say. I don't talk during sex and never had any guy who did either. Put on some music if you think that silence is too awkward or if you really want to say something you can ask "Am I doing this right?" or "does this feel good?".

No. 287487

How do I get over being such a turbovirgin lol. I'm 24 and have very little sexual experience. A little while ago I went back to a guy's place to fool around and it became clear to me just how inexperienced I was because I completely froze up and didn't know what to do. In hindsight, it was embarrassing that all I could do was lie there and do nothing because I was so nervous and had no idea where to even put my hands. I kept telling myself to do something, but I couldn't even think of anything except how nervous I was. I don't want the exact same thing to happen the next time I want to do something like that because one time was already embarrassing enough, but I don't know what to do because I just get so nervous (not in a bad way) when people get close to me because as I said, I'm a turbovirgin.

No. 287571

No advice, but same and am also in my mid-twenties.
My libido is decently high but the idea of having to go through with sex is terrifying and emotionally exhausting. I also think I'd have a genuine anxiety attack if someone ever touched my genitals or chest. Anyone (particularly men) expressing sexual attraction towards me grosses me out, unless it involves traits that place me as an "actor" (eg. my height, strength, etc.) and not an "object."

It's not even trauma, I've just been a virgin for too long. Wish you luck in getting laid without shutting down, anon! It's like the whole "need years of job experience to get your first job" predicament.

No. 287697

Nta but the older I get the less I want to have sex for the reasons you said, I kinda regret not ridding myself of my virginity in my early 20s when I had the opportunity. Not saying you should rush into having sex as soon as you can but overthinking only leads to missing chances.

No. 288206

What you could do is kiss his neck, ears, chest etc if you guys are bad at making out

No. 288246

Probably not what you want to hear anon but confidence in the bedroom really comes with time and experience. It helps being with someone you trust, and I've found that most of my sexual confidence came with long term partners that I was able to learn with and grow comfortable with.
Hookups are only really going to teach you how to please men as you're getting a once off experience and most moids just want to pump their load and fuck off. I know it's frustrating not having much experience and wanting to explore that part of yourself, but it's worth it to look for at least a consistent sexual partner that you're friendly with and can bring yourself to try out new things.

No. 289392

File: 1663800656314.jpg (51.56 KB, 962x641, 25618152-0-image-a-19_15834899…)

I got into a conversation with my mutuals about casual sex and I made the claim that casual sex is generally unsafe for women and I was told off for having "conservative values". They said the only problem with casual sex was that we live in a misogynistic society and if men were less violent than casual sex wouldn't be a problem. I was told off for shaming high libido women.

I never told anyone but I am a virgin and I can't imagine myself ever having sex with a stranger. I'm in my mid-20s and I wonder if my inexperience was seeping through.

I feel so disconnected from modern culture and I feel like I will be normal or find a partner who's okay with me being a virgin, or leave me for being inexperienced and vanilla. Feeling like a loser and disgusted with myself.

No. 289397

Your mutuals sound really lame. There's nothing wrong with wanting sex with someone you love and trust, while abstaining from anything else. Especially as a virgin it's perfectly understandable that you'd want your first time to be a meaningful experience. Sex is not casual and it makes me so sad how many young women don't see that. I'm so sorry you had to experience public shame and internalize it to a degree that you are ashamed of yourself. There's truly nothing wrong with feeling the way that you do, and I hope that you can heal your feelings of shame so that you can stand up for yourself and what you want in your sex life

No. 289399

I lost my virginity five years ago, had a long-term boyfriend in that time, had sex with men and women once I was single again. Yet in all that time and experience, I don't think I've ever orgasmed once during sex.
It has to be a confidence issue, because when I masturbate I have absolutely no problem at all - sometimes I'll even use the memories of past sexual encounters as jerk off material. But once I'm actually with another person, it's like my clit goes into a coma lol. I just go through the motions and enjoy being physically close to the other person. Sometimes when I'm making out, I'll get the occasional twinge of arousal, but nothing asides from that.
I've also tried masturbating in front of others as foreplay, and I can't orgasm then either.

What do I do nonas? How the fuck can I possibly get over this? It's been so long, I thought I'd eventually grow out of being self-conscious during sex, but no matter who I'm with I just can't relax. Maybe I should resign myself to masturbating for the rest of my life kek.
The one time I had casual sex with a stranger, I felt disgusted afterwards. Everyone makes it sound so normal, but there's nothing normal about it. You're best ignoring 'modern culture' and just doing what works for you. No (good) partner will shame you for being inexperienced.

No. 289400

There is nothing wrong with you anon, or your beliefs. Boiling down your view of casual sex to just being conservative, and shaming “high libido women” is completely off the mark. You can have any kind of sociopolitical ideology and still understand the issues of casual sex from different perspectives. You said you had an issue with it being unsafe for women, and that is completely substantial for different reasons. It’s statistically proven casual sex with many different partners increases your risk of contracting STDS. Hooking up with someone you’re uncertain you’re morally compatible with, or you’re not very familiar with in general, could potentially lead you to be raped, drugged, or sex trafficked. Or they could turn out to be gross, or bad in some other way you wish you learned about ahead of time. Other forms of arguments against casual sex are also valid; if you think men too often use and degrade women’s bodies for casual sex, and women generally don’t experience the same level of pleasure that men get out of it, that’s a good reason why it’s generally a bad idea. If you have other reasons that are logical, then they’re valid beliefs. The girls who talk about subverting shame, and “if only men weren’t so violent”, don’t consider the statistics, and other moral points. You probably understand that, and you shouldn’t feel insecure about what you want for yourself. Don’t give up on trying to find someone who has the same beliefs as you, it’s not worth settling for something if it compromises something important, like your dignity, or a desire for a deeper connection. Being a virgin at your age, and for the reasons you have, is completely fine. You don’t need to have sex to get the approval of others, and having a ton of sexual experience to be seen as cool, interesting, or superior, is completely trivial.

No. 289410

"Evolutionary" things like hook-ups and sex with strangers benefit men more than women, since straight/bi women have the risk of a stranger they're having sex with either being violent or knocking them up (condoms and birth control combined only do so much), STDs, etc.

Not to armchair analysis, but it seems like hook up culture is more of a hypersexual (which is a disorder/trauma response) thing than a high libido issue (which can be natural and not a result of trauma for some), the people I know who have hookups constantly are heavily dissociated during the act itself and are borderline addicted, and they can't get anything long-term for a reason, so they just settle for having flings to fill a void. All of them that I know have been abused in some way and either use it as a way to fill the void, like drugs, or a way to relive the abuse by seeking out people similar to their abusers (older, looks a certain way).

No. 289423

Nah, you are 100% right. Women and men aren't the same. Women benefit less than men do from casual sex (see: the orgasm gap), and also have to bare almost all of the risks.
Yup, hypersexuality is not a healthy thing but a result of trauma or mental disturbance. I have a high libido and I don't sleep with randos.

No. 289425

Kek, you are patient. I would have thrown down the gauntlet if I saw that type of shit. They're defending sex as being a performance defined by labels, women commodifying themselves because they can't imagine anything different, re-enacting patriarchal values, etc…which is why so many women have so many horror stories or why so many are incentivized to fetishize being treated like subhumans and toys. Calling it misogynistic doesn't change that most women will fail to find someone that actually creates a comfortable, secure environment for them–let alone have any real chemistry with them.
I'm not at all surprised so many go through the motions and just do it cuz they want some easy-mode way of feeling close to someone, even if it makes them think they need to go all the way with someone to get any validation or intimacy with them.

I'm not really surprised there's been a recent surge with so many girls and women opting to be touchless and single but the mainstream still doesn't want to talk about why.

No. 289452

I’m repulsed by sex after having an abortion earlier this year. I love my bf and still wanna have sex but the thought of that or any intimacy makes me stomach churn. I can’t even masturbate comfortably. How can I turn this around and learn to love physical intimacy again? Obviously the answer is therapy but I’m still on the hunt for a good fit

No. 289466

Does anyone have experience with supplementing hormones in order to increase libido? I miss being horny so much nonnas.

No. 289483

Nah you're good. Sex creates a unique bond between you and your partner, it's the second closest you can be to someone besides being bonded by blood, which is the case with family. I hate to use the term pairbonding because MGTOW scrotes have hijacked the term for their misogynist views, but it's an evolutionary phenominon. And the more casual sex you have, the less you are able to create that unique special bond with someone.
And of course, having sex with random scrotes is risky as fuck. My sister started getting desperate because she was still a virgin at 22, so she got on tinder and had sex with two random guys, and one of them is still harassing her via text message every day.

No. 289499

Being in a regular relationship with a man is already risky enough for women, not participating in hookup culture is just common sense imo.

No. 289511

Nonas, my bf confessed that often fantasizes about me cucking him. I am so confused, I am a loyal gf and love him, I don't see why he would imagine me having sex with other men. He asked me if I would have a threesome with another guy and in th heat of the moment I said yes but now I am unsure. I hope it is just a fantasy and not something he actually wants to do, at least for now

No. 289514

I’m super INFP (I know those things aren’t the pinnacle of accuracy but it describes my personality perfectly) and I have always been able to feel more intense feelings during masturbation than sex with someone. I’m not talking about the physical sensation, I’m able to mentally stimulate myself so much better when it’s just me and my imagination. I can think of scenarios like Jon Snow fucking me after fighting in the rain or some other dramatic, romanticized bullshit that I go crazy for. I hate when men act casually during sex like laughing or making any kind of joke, it pulls me out of the fantasy of the moment and makes it feel like nothing but a physical task. I like to be mind fucked I guess, not in a toxic way, I just go wild for the idea of a mentally stimulating man, but I’ve truly never met any irl except for 1 many years ago- and he was an actor, so he was likely just feeding me lines he knew would work on my hopeless romantic ass. Of course, to make matters worse looks are definitely important to me, so it’s not like I could get turned on by any random smart/smooth talking ugly dude. Tbh at this point I’ve accepted I’ll only have the sex of my dreams in my mind and I’m not really bitter about it because it’s my own fault for having such a vivid imagination to the point where nothing in reality could measure up. A partner irl can’t really compete with the hero-type characters I get turned on by in books or media, I’m aware it’s unrealistic. I’m like forever feeling that “I need a hero” song. Just always let down by real life men

No. 289526

Be careful, this is how many boyfriends fool women into prostitution. They pretend it’s a “threesome” but the other guy is actually paying him.

No. 289532

Don't do it without getting a blood test, obviously. Get a blood test and hormone panel to see if anything is wrong, and see if thete's anything different in your lifestyle that made your libido lessen. Medication, birth control, weight gain, stress, etc, can change it.

I say this because I also wanted to try something hormonal to fix my libido, I tried to buy progesterone and was looking into low dosage testosterone, but I got a blood test and my hormones were both mostly normal and low dosage of testosterone can cause issues with your ovaries.

No. 289542

I don't think you should've seemed open about this, I think you need to tell him this isn't a good thing. I don't need to explain too much why this is a bad thing. If a guy is into the possibility of cheating, humiliation, or betrayal, then he finds it tempting and exciting to have an unstable relationship with you. He's probably self-loathing, and wants to cope with that by getting aroused from you getting satisfaction from other men. This is a recipe for disaster, so please get him to stop, or leave.

No. 289560

Am in my early 20s, turbovirgin, grew up ugly and completely disconnected from sexuality. I don't have much of a libido (which is fine), but the fact that I haven't done anything (while seemingly everyone else is out there getting laid) makes me want to die a bit, and it only gets worse with time because it makes me go back to feeling completely undesirable. I want sex with love but I don't want to date just yet (something casual is fine but I don't have many social circles). I'm not much of a partygoer and I don't really know how I feel about fucking a stranger of either sex, but I'm getting kind of desperate especially since I don't want to make my first "real" kiss a big deal (especially since I'll probably be really bad at it). Should I go for that or something else

No. 289589

Don't overthink it. I know that it seems like you're missing out on this big thing but you're not. I understand why you want to get it over with though. I think you should try to put yourself out there either irl or on dating apps and see what happens, you might find someone you want a relationship with or you might find something casual. Just form some relationships with people and I'm sure it will come naturally. Don't do anything you don't want to do and take it slow. First step is putting yourself out there. You can do things socially that don't involve clubbing or whatever. Lean into your hobbies and you might find a group or something and meet someone like minded. Good luck.

No. 289592

Will change get any easier? Every time I move I feel really down the first few days/weeks. I feel better eventually but it would be nice if it didn’t cause such a stress for me, especially because in the next few years I’ll move around quite a lot

No. 289600

Im anon and it really is as you said, getting it over with. I honestly don't care about being sexually active and fucking around (though I'm not really opposed to it either), I just want to get it done with so I can move on and concern myself with something more interesting and less stupid than "has had sex before". You're definitely right about putting yourself out there (since I don't do that much kek) so I'll look into that. Thanks nonna.

I'm probably preaching to the choir here but it really wears you down, especially if you grew up ugly, to be constantly reminded that you still haven't done something so basic and trivial (and yet simultaneously so important?) that most people have already done in their teens. And not necessarily because they're hotter or more interesting than you, I've come to realize it's way more complex than that, but it still makes you feel like an undesirable sack of shit. I just want to get it over with and for it to not be horrible or go wrong so I can stop feeling like a repulsive loser all the time, is all.

Ngl it makes me feel less horrible to see other anons in the same spot but I feel for us and I wish you all luck as well lol

No. 289603

Anon pretty much everything you said I probably could have written myself. Feeling really similarly about my lack of experience and feel like if I just put myself out there and experienced firsthand how shit men are then I can rest easy with being a turbovirgin. I actually went on a few dates this summer for this reason and am thinking of doing that again soon. Some people probably think it’s stupid of me to do, but I just don’t want to be stagnant. I’d rather be miserable and try than be miserable and not do anything even though dating is a chore. Anyway, just know that you aren’t alone! I think it’s brave of you to put yourself out there and think of dating as you looking for what you want. I think dating is nerve wracking because it’s scary to think about being perceived by men (or being ghosted and stuff like that), but ultimately who cares what they think. If you want to go on fun dates and meet cute guys then go for it and as long as you had a good time then who cares?

No. 289609

I've listened to other women that have gone through similar and they have mostly regretted having sex just to get it out of the way and that in some cases they felt even less desirable, there's almost never significant confidence gains or a switch that goes off in their brains; they often change to something else to FOMO about.

also maybe this is a good idea, kek. Just be weary of getting into situations where a man can easily coerce you. The majority are extremely opportunistic.

No. 289616

Nta but what does "put yourself out there" even mean after a certain point? Because I do put myself out there, I'm not a hikineet, I go to events, talk to people, and I just don't attract anybody, I'm almost invisible. I'm also at that age where people are settling down and only the weirdos remain, which basically includes you and makes you wonder if there's something truly wrong with you beyond looks.

No. 289622

Ayrt I just mean like using dating apps and talking to men in a social context. If I lived my life like I normally do I could go indefinitely without talking to men unless it was in the context of work or like, if they happen to be my cashier or something like that. I’m not very social and all of my friends are women (save for one moid who doesn’t even live in the same country as me) so if I really want to date I have to consciously try to put myself out there or else I won’t end up meeting anyone. So yes, it doesn’t definitely sound like you put yourself out there and I’m sorry to hear it’s still be hard to meet people… I also feel like everyone just has their own friend group and keeps to themselves now so I don’t think it means there’s something wrong with you if you’re still having difficulty meeting people! Heck its even hard making friends nowadays. I wish I could give you advice and tell you what to do differently, but I have no experience whatsoever other than meeting people off of dating apps. The only time that didn’t happen was when I was in college years ago and you could meet people through parties or when someone asked for my number while I was working part-time one summer, but I guess that isn’t really an event you can control.

No. 289626


This may just be because I'm overconfident but I talk my way into new relationships whether it be platonic or romantic all the time and I'm not particularly attractive or anything. For me putting yourself out there means to actually engage in conversation with the people around you even if it's scary which most of the time it is. For example although you talk to people and go out, are you making meaningful connections? Most people are dry when they don't know you so you will have to be the one who keeps it going most of the time until it develops more, but it's worth it. There are techniques to conversation that can be learned and practiced. Using those techniques will make you interesting to other people and make them wanting more. Conversations don't always have to mean something, sometimes people just want someone they can relate to. I know you said you feel invisible but you're not. And you have to reject that idea. You are most definitely an interesting and valuable person who deserves to have the relationships they want. I wasn't always good at making new connections either but I really made an effort and It worked. Good luck and I hope things improve for you, and sorry if I was too presumptuous or long winded.

No. 290593

File: 1664248389705.png (6.82 KB, 300x300, bagina.png)

How do I stop my labia near the back of the opening (asshole end as opposed to clit end) from getting microtearing during sex? Pic rel. Doesn't matter how much lube I use. Does anyone else deal with this issue? There's like a taunt flap of skin stretched out over the bottom and that fucker. Sometimes I fantasize about getting a doctor to just slice it open so I can be done with it. I tried stretching and tried supplements and lube and nothing seems to work.

No. 290596


nonnie, if you are in a country with medicare you might be covered for surgery to fix it as this would be deemed medical (not elective/aesthetic). Have you spoken about it to your doctor before?

No. 290597

I'm an uninsured freedomlander and have never seen a gyno before. so do i really need surgery? this isn't normal, right? it's also a really shitty drawing sorry. every time i have sex or masturbate this area gets rubbed and torn up and hurts like hell.

No. 290600

in that case, sharp pair of scissors?

No. 290613

Look up your states medical assistance program. In the meantime contact your local planned parenthood and talk to someone about your financial situation. They have a program to help women who are uninsured. It can end up being low to no cost. They may be able to help you with the issue directly or point you to someone who can. At the least you can get an annual checkup. If you are sexually active you should be getting an annual. You may be developing scar tissue or have some other situation but you can't get help unless you ask for it.

No. 290649

Yes, even of you don't qualify for medicaid your state may have wellness programs for women's procedures. There may also be low-income sliding scale women's clinics if you're in a large enough region. Do some Googling for your area.

Even if there is only a low-income birth control/women-focused STD clinic they might be able to point you in the right direction.

No. 290665

Are you on birth control? When i was on birth control my vaginal/vulva skin got so thin and cracked and bled all the time.

No. 290903

it's been the same issue my entire adult life, birth control or not. Mine has never bled though. how did you resolve it?
I won't quality for assistance, I make just enough not to qualify but not enough to afford shit. It looks like the procedure I need is the flipside of labiaplasty and it's done by cosmetic surgeons, who I don't trust. Not sure what to do. I'm already using coconut oil and taking sea buckthorn oil.

No. 290966

is it just me or do straight men seem more willing to eat ass than pussy?

No. 290971

Sounds pretty gay

No. 290972

it sure does, which is why it's so baffling

No. 290979

Men can be memed into anything

No. 290994

No it’s not just you

No. 290999

Yeah because being too close to pussy triggers their inferiority/womb envy complex. They want to eat shit because they know it’s what they deserve.

No. 291000

Thats been my experience. At this point I'm so repulsed by it (not just that they like it but that it ranks higher than anything pussy related to them) I just want to meet one guy who isn't interested in anything anal. Who says that.. and actually means it. If I get begged for ass stuff by one more guy who pretended he wasn't that into that at first.. I'm done, I'm out kek

No. 291013

can confirm my ex was obsessed with looking at my asshole and licking it. men really are dogs.

No. 291035

NTA but men are broken and I hate them kek

No. 291050

anything except actually pleasing women it seems

No. 291063

Just poo on their dicks, nonnies. They will probably not ask again after that.

No. 291076

It’s not possible, men are absolutely obsessed with assholes. You either go volcel, date a man but don’t do butt stuff while he looks at anal porn, or indulge him and risk incontinence later in life. Moids and loving assholes is inseparable. They’re all innate sodomites.

No. 291077

>sex advice
Lol ok, sex haver Stacies. Get off my board and go post on twitter or something instead please.

No. 291082

You sound like a newfag who thinks this is femcelchan.org, women have been talking on here about having sex and relationships for several years now

No. 291260

Idk, I did anal once with my moid and he was entirely disappointed by it and never asked again. He said he felt like he has been memed into thinking it would be better than vaginal because its supossedly tighter and then he realized its just a smooth tube unlike the vagina which is ribbed for mens pleasure and we've never done it since even when I offered to see if he was being truthful. I think most of them imagine it to be better than it is because of wrong expectations from porn.

No. 291302

>admitting you've never managed to find a normal moid that doesn't want anal
lmao, even

No. 291306

Opinion on mods who want to have anal, but want to be on the receiving end? Is it a redflag?

No. 291307

Is your moid asking you to do it? Then yes, it's a red flag. Any time a moid tries to make sex about him by bringing up his fantasies and kinks, it's always a red flag.

No. 291308

When I was younger and more 'open minded' I had my share of guys who brought up wanting it. I mostly brushed them off because I don't know how I'd deal if it ever got messy and there's no guarantees when it comes to prepping well enough.. but I did notice the perhaps predictable pattern where they'd later on want to crossdress or some other shit. It's always the tip of the iceberg. They're selfish lovers, full of ideas they want to try but they're also inclined to neglect the most basic acts that actually please women. Nowadays I'd run at the mention of it.

No. 291317

Yup, they just care about themselves. Ironically, I'm someone who is into pegging (I get off from clitoral stimulation, plus I enjoy topping) and I've avoided any guy who brought it up first like the plague. I'm the one who introduced it to my boyfriend, and at first he didn't want to do it because he thought I wouldn't get any physical pleasure out of it. That's how it should be with any guy Should be thinking about whether you'll get pleasure out of it, rather than thinking he can coerce you into being his sex doll.

No. 291329

any moid who wants you to give it to him up the ass is a homosexual in the closet. he'll dump you when you're the most vulnerable and run off to have gay orgies at bathhouses. all gays are inherently misogynist.

No. 291330

Do not listen to ^ this demon. It aims to turn you into a slave for shitdick having men and ruin your dignity because she has ruined her own and wants other women to suffer the way she does.

No. 291367

Why would you ruin a perfectly good man by fucking him up the ass and making him a faggot? Weird fetish, but ok.

No. 291382

I'm telling nonna to avoid men who bring up pegging on their own. If she wants to do it and she's the one who brings it up first, it's a different story. Nothing good comes from men forcing their kinks on women.
How is it making him a faggot if he's having sex with a woman (me)? Are lesbians who use strap-ons secretly straight?

No. 291663

File: 1664597849562.jpg (30.41 KB, 828x497, 1601597421886.jpg)

I keep being paranoid that I have an std, I'm a virgin and my only sexual contact was outercourse with a condom and oral. I did outercourse with my ex-bf while we were still dating and the condom was slipping a bit at one point and I think his bare dick touched my vag. His ex cheated on him with rando guys and he told me after they broke up he got tested, but he lied about so much in the relationship looking back I really wonder if he was telling the truth. I did have to prod him to tell me if he got tested or not. That rotten little fuck, I trusted him and I shouldn't have ever trusted any moid. I always thought you would know if you had an std but I read just today you can have one for months and not have symptoms.

If I'm a virgin with an STD I'm going to die of shame. Do you nonnies think I'm being retarded or should I get tested?

No. 291664

My ex cheated on me and it left me paranoid afterwards. I got tested for hiv twice over to be sure and got tested for the most common stds too. You can order home testing kits if you're nervous about going to a clinic and having to explain your situation. That's how I did it. I wasn't sure if they'd quiz you and I wasn't in a headspace to talk about those circumstances. It was worth it for the peace of mind.

I think sometimes these worries are more of an emotional response to feeling like you can't trust someone but hey theres no real loss in getting checked.

No. 291677

Get tested. You'll either get peace of mind, or you'll be able to catch the problem before it gets worse.

No. 291990

Good thing I find receiving either very unappealing

No. 292011

It’s very unlikely if you have one but you should probably get a test just to ease your mind.

No. 292565

Do any anons have advice on finding where your g-spot is? Whenever I have penetrative sex, it’s very neutral to me and I don’t get any pleasure. Even after a lot of foreplay and edging, I only feel good when his abdomen is grinding up against me. I want to know what it’s like to have my g-spot stimulated. We’ve tried fingering and using a dildo, but nothing feels good. Do some women just not have a g-spot? Lol

No. 292662

I found mine by buying a G-spot wand topper (it just looks like a shape pointing upwards, it came with a clit stimulator too but it doesn't work with my body shape). I can tell because having that area stimulated feels different, it's very intense and sometimes feels like I'm about to pee.

No. 292693

There is no "g-spot". Some women's anatomy allows for the penis to stimulate the inner parts of the clitoris that wrap around he vaginal canal. But most women do not, like 80% of women can not have an orgasm from vaginal penetration.

No. 292699

Try getting your partner to finger you. I can't orgasm from penile penetration, but when my hubby curls his fingers inside me and hits the top of my vagina it feels amazing.

No. 292726

Masturbate. Masturbate often. By masturbating I mean fingering. If you don't enjoy it when you're alone and in control how do you expect to do it when you're with someone else? Combine flicking the bean with fingering but only allow yourself to finish when you're fingering. Drink plenty of water or use lube if you're in a dry season. Sorry if it sounded nasty.

No. 292727

speaking of the g-spot, sometimes stuff inside me makes me get a feeling that I have to pee. I heard before that that is the sensation of your g-spot being hit and you'll eventually reach orgasm, is that really true???

Personally I can't get past the feeling of having to pee so I always just end up stopping/making the guy stop.

No. 292760

That doesn't work for people who have short fingers. I can't reach my g-spot on my own but it's definitely there, my partner who has fingers twice as long as mine can reach it. Sometimes you just need someone else to do it for you.

No. 292782

You might be a squirter. If you want to make sure you won't pee, go to the bathroom before having sex. The sensation will still be there but nothing will come out and yes, it can lead to orgasm.

No. 292805

I have tiny hands and can reach my G-spot, it's not at the end but on a side around the middle in terms of depth. I really doubt anyone can get pleasure only from this if they haven't mastered themselves.

No. 292871

That's the sensation of your bladder being hit. Squirting is just pissing yourself cause a dude slams his dick into your bladder too much. Don't listen to >>292782 thats likely a pornsick scrote. There is no g-spot.

No. 292917

Is whiskey dick a real thing or is it just an excuse?

No. 293006

It's real but only after drinking to excess. Anyone drinking to that level regularly is overdoing it.

No. 294564

I really need help nonnies. I think I'm broken from being exposed to porn at a young age which caused me to develop an extremely narrow "taste", I don't know if I'd call it a fetish. I can only get fully aroused from watching videos of men masturbating, and I have to be completely alone. I thought the problem was that I just wasn't really attracted to my ex, but I just had sex with my bf for the first time and realized I wasn't getting aroused. I'm extremely attracted to him and he took his time for over an hour just touching me and it still wasn't enough. I'm mentally turned on but not physically so I feel basically nothing when he touches my clit. Comparing this to when I watch porn, I get very aroused in about 10 minutes and can cum in under a minute. Before you suggest getting him to jerk off in front of me, I tried stuff like that with previous boyfriends and I think the aspect of both knowing the person and being in front of them is enough that I can't get into it. Also I haven't masturbated to porn in over a year, I thought quitting would maybe be the solution but it hasn't changed anything. Any advice whatsoever would be appreciated because I feel like I'm broken.

No. 296622

I was letting my bf finger me and rub me, I was getting nice and wet and I let some noises out, idk I was really into it, then I rolled my eyes, idk why I did that but he laughed and said “rolling your eyes” I just got embarrassed by that, it was probably too much, do other anons do similar things how do I tone it down a notch. We stopped

No. 296624

This is late and I have no advice, but I feel similarly. You say you get "mentally" aroused, so could it be you just don't want to be touched and that's how sex works for you? Did you still get this mental stimulation from watching your ex? And are you interested in acting on them, alone (no reciprocation from them)?
Provided I am lucky to prefer women, but it's been tough to come to terms with the fact that I'll likely never be interested in receiving pleasure. I guess this is "stone" although I can't claim that since I'm not a lesbian, but nothing exists like that for hets it seems. The way that men are means there is no place for a woman who wishes to be the sexual giver only.

Or perhaps I'm also pornsick and we're in it together, nona.

No. 296627

Your bf sounds lame if he makes comments about what you do and say during sex. Leave him. Your man should never make you feel embarassed.

No. 296629

So, posting here cause I've got a bit of an odd situation. There's a dude in one of my uni classes with a very impressive body. Large, tall, very muscular. Overall, I'd say he is a good catch. He even has the same major as me. I'm very curious about him, and have been speaking to him regularly about class work. He smells weird and sometimes needs help with the classwork, which I find intriguing and it increases my interest in him. He smelled like a pig one day, and when I found out it was him, I didn't tell anyone that he was the source of the barnyard smell, but I knew it, and he was like a little piggy. I really like pigs.

Unfortunately, I have absolutely no sex drive at all when I'm sober because of SSRIs I take. I can get a little bit horny on marijuana, but that's about it. I would like to eventually attempt it with him, but I feel absolutely nothing about his body except a rather distant fascination. He's objectively a good catch, like a prize you see and want to take before anyone else can. Maybe I feel a little bit territorial over him, but still, with the pills, I feel no physical desire. I know I would if I stopped taking them, but I'm not going to because I need them. I also have a hard time showing emotion around people, and for some reason it makes them think I dislike them. I still feel normal emotions obviously, just none around him.

How would I even begin to proceed with him? I can make him smile, help with his classwork, make him interested in me at a very surface level, but have no physical reason to continue aside from greed and not wanting someone else to snatch him up before me. I bet none of you would be surprised to know that I've never been in a relationship before. This would be the first male I have decided on pursuing. Males are generally easier prey than the females which is good, but I still don't wanna creep him out. Basically my goal is just to convince him to get physical with me, but I'm not sure how I'd do that with zero arousal.

No. 296632

if you're not experiencing arousal idk if you would get any fun or satisfaction from hooking up with him, but you know yourself best at the end of the day. you haven't been in a relationship but have you been with a man casually before? sometimes gaining rl experience actually increases your sex drive and arousal, except when it doesn't, just one of those annoying gambles in life.

No. 296633

Never been with a man or a woman before. Most of the women I've tried to ask out were straight, one of em was taken. I want to try it out since I might as well. I was a super late bloomer bisexual and only had my first het crush at like 17, so I'm just trying to explore myself. I know I'm into het because I've ran out of my pills before and do indeed want men just as I want women. I'm thinking I could do it with enough weed in my system.

No. 296679

He sounds like a huge faggot. What the fuck? What you did was 100% natural.

No. 296680

There is a possibility that you will become aroused when you start messing around but it's not guaranteed. I know how that feels and it fucking sucks to never feel horny (when you would like to feel horniness in general).

No. 296719

Can you adjust your dosage (slightly lower it) or ask your psychiatrist to combine it with an okay medication like Wellbutrin? I was in a similar boat however I didn't feel physical desire again until after I stopped taking them and were out of my system for years - the prospect of being off meds I "needed" scared me, but I realized I'm a lot happier now. I'd rather be sad sometimes and be able to feel horny than be an asexual emotional zombie. I've tried to force myself to do things when I was on meds and had no physical desire and it was borderline traumatic.

No. 296798

No, not able to stop taking them. I don't take them for depression, I take them for severe anxiety. I have panic attacks constantly even on them, and off the pills I can barely even speak to people or leave the house without feeling extremely paranoid and in extreme cases even aggressive. It's bad lol.

No. 296941

I don't initiate sex. I can't. There are few reasons: I'm shy and anxious (taking meds level), somehow it feels embarrassing, but also I have very low sex drive and for me like 2 times a week would be enough, my bf initiates much more and I'm mostly down for it, so I'm satisfied anyway. But he doesn't get it, he complains I don't initiate, says I'm cold etc.
My questions is, do you think it's normal to struggle to initiate sex? Advice "just do it" won't work. Even when I'm horny, I just can't seem to do it. Recently I've seen a tiktok (don't laugh…) about something similar and girls were like "no way I'd take initiative", which made me feel a bit more normal with it, but idk.

No. 296946

I mean, you can't blame your boyfriend by being upset that you never initiate. It probably makes him feel unwanted and like he is nagging you about sex. I have no issues initiating, but I did feel awkward about it when I was younger. Maybe its just a maturity thing and also based on the length of your relationship. You should try to work on it tho since it clearly bothers your boyfriend.

No. 296948

Is it normal to be loser who lets things happen to them instead of taking an active role in their life? Yeah, with both men and women. Should you be that way? No.

No. 296950

Two times a week is plenty for regular couples, if he's insisting on more it's not like he's even giving you much opportunity to initiate

No. 297009

File: 1667274657029.jpg (24.69 KB, 330x309, IMG_20221030_210241.jpg)

i'm a virgin still and i've recently got a boyfriend. we haven't done anything sexual yet but we have talked and alluded to wanting to have sex before.
aside from not really knowing what to expect, i also kind of want to get an IUD. i want to know how long will it take to have intercourse after the IUD insertion and what nonas recommend to ease my nerves about my first time..

No. 297020

Your Gyn will tell you exactly but you usually only need to wait a week or so. It’s not a long recovery time. Just so you know they will usually caution women who haven’t given birth against getting an IUD as it can be super painful. I still got one even though I don’t have kids but I’ve had sex before so it might be a lot if you’re still a virgin. Knowing how effective it is really helped my pregnancy anxiety and if you go hormonal the lack of periods has really improved my life. Good luck nonna

No. 297021

Samefag but also even if you do go through with getting an IUD I would still highly recommend using condoms with this guy until you’ve gotten to know him more. IUDs are a great birth control option but it’s a pretty painful procedure and not one you should put yourself through just so some guy you probably don’t know that well yet can do it without a condom.

No. 297039

I remember reading something about how most men feel excited by initiating sex, and that most women feel excited by getting initiated on. Since you're both having a different perspective on it he thinks you don't initiate because you're not attracted to him, he'll have to understand that it is because you're just built different

No. 297088

AYRT, I was in a similar boat, but I won't tell you what to do with your life. Personally, therapy and basic CBT techniques helped me anxiety management since I used to have agoraphobia, which I needed since my tolerance to meds wore off after a few years of taking them.

I had a psychiatrist combine my SSRI with Wellbutrin for a while, and I've talked to women who said that combination revived their libido, so you can just combine it with an NDRI and see if it helps. Buspirone is also an anxiety medication that is prescribed alongside an SSRI for sexual issues.

No. 298086

Does the fact that I've never had sex influence my libido? It's almost inexistent, I don't crave sex at all and I only get aroused when I see or read sexual material, I think I could go my entire life without ever getting laid and it wouldn't bother me.

No. 298330

I would start having sex with a condom for a bit first nonnie. Though birth control is important and it's good to explore your options. I really like the IUD, have had it in twice now. First time was very easy to put in, they used enough anaesthetic that it didn't hurt but just felt pretty uncomfortable, but it was quick.
Second time I got it in was incredibly traumatic, male doctor, they strapped me down to a table and barely used any anaesthetic at all but shoved it in anyway, it literally felt like something out of a horror film. I would go under if I were you.
The IUD barely affects me at all day to day, don't even realise it's in and my periods are often so light I don't have to wear period products for it.
Good luck though, and be sure to shop round for the best options that suit you.

No. 298601

Does anyone else feel repulsive and embarrassing for being interested in sex? Especially when it's with women, I feel like a creep for being interested in them. I feel it's wrong for me to show interest in someone.

No. 298607

i get sex repulsed at times but it's somewhat attached with feelings of shame and whatnot i think, at least for me

No. 298608

nah, i get the same feeling when i dont masturbate/have sex for a while, i forget it's a thing. but some people are just different and have varying libidos, i wouldn't worry about it unless it's something you want to change

No. 298650

File: 1668140443171.jpg (27.46 KB, 588x404, wetcat.jpg)

nonnies, do any of you struggle with getting too wet? my bf says he can't cum with piv because i get aroused very easily and it's like fucking a bowl of jelly basically, no feeling for him. it still feels good for me, but no matter what we try (different positions, towel, etc) it seems like he doesn't feel anything and i don't know what else to do differently

No. 298660

You should feel amazing to him. It sounds like he has death grip. Why wouldn't you want to be wet? It's not pleasant to have sex when there's not enough lubricant.

No. 298661

too wet sounds crazy. i think my natural lubrication level is normal to high but i always add more lube anyway because why not have even less of a chance for pain? i feel like he's desensitized and it's on him but you could try gripping his dick like a kegel. it can be kind of fun to experiment with

No. 298663

Anon this is hilarious and I love the image too lmao I wish I had your "problem" unfortunately I have no advice besides ditch the moid and don't let him use this as an excuse to coerce you into doing anal

No. 298673

Your boyfriend sounds broken. I had a fucking cyst on my vagina and my boyfriend thought the swelling and largeness meant I was turned on more than usual and he went nuts. Find a man who thinks he understands arousal lol

No. 298677

welp, he's desensitized most likely, he needs to quit masturbation altogether and you should do kegels on him during piv, it will take time, cause sensations return slowly. Anyway, don't let him touch his D, he most likely has a death grip that destroyed a good amount of his sensory ability down there.

No. 298679

also most guys would be turned on that their gf gets really wet, ur bf sounds like a loser lol

No. 298707

>I can't cum because you're too wet
Thats deathgrip. Your body is doing exactly what its meant to do.. and his isn't so he's misplacing blame onto you to cover up. Which is pretty shitty of him.

The issue is on his end, have a frank discussion where you spell out that you're not retarded enough to take criticism for being wet. If he doubles down or refuses to admit to his deathgrip fapping then hes a lost cause. Time for him to get honest.

No. 298713

>Coerce you into doing anal
Men will say anything for you to allow them to do that. I had vaginismus and my ex claimed it was too tight and anal was comfortable since it was looser. To be fair, I was blackout drunk and passed out. But anyway.

No. 298790

like other nonnies have said, definitely death grip, he's probably addicted to porn and jerking off. he's blaming you for his problem.

No. 298845

My boyfriend is sexually dominant, which I didn't expect from him at all before we started having sex. He's very feminine, which I am into. We do not have kinky sex, we're rough at worst, but he always takes the lead. This isn't fine with me a 100% of the time, I like to take the lead once in a while, or at least interact with his body more.
I used to be able to give him blowjobs, a thing I find arousing, but he doesn't want me to do that anymore. He gets soft whenever I touch him. He says the cause is sexual trauma, which I understand, but I don't feel comfortable being passive to the extent that sex is reduced to making out ⇾ getting eaten out ⇾ penetration.
Sure, it feels good, I think he's good at it. But I can't even get to kiss his neck or hold him without him wanting to switch places almost immediately. Any time I do anything SLIGHTLY dominant, he goes soft. Last night, I was trying to give him a blowjob, but that made him soft to the point of not being able to have sex the morning after.
Is there ANY way to fix this?
Yes, he goes to therapy, but that doesn't fix this.

No. 298855

Kinda weird that he doesnt want an active partner in bed and is basically treating you like a blowup doll and if you show any signs of being alive he loses his erection. Dahmer levels of mental illness. I doubt you can fix that.

No. 298857

I've been trying to write out a justification for his actions, but I honestly can't. He used to be able to get me off quite easily, but the more I think about how our sex life turned, the less I can get into the mood. I want to touch him back.
We're not having sex, he's just doing sexual acts to me. I wish I could help the situation.

No. 298869

I just lost my virginity two weeks ago. We’re both 20 and i didnt have much experience prior to him…

Anyway, he’s a foot taller than me (I’m 5’1) and weighs a lot more than me (he has an athletic build kinda) - When we first tried PiV we just… couldnt get it in like i just physically couldnt do it and then when we finally figured it out it was just. Painful. I know sex isnt supposed to be painful - Fingering, being eaten out and playing around is fun but when it comes to PiV it just feels like im having my uterus attacked - i’ve bled like multiple times since and I chalked it up to being rough but im starting to fear im forever going to hate being penetrated

someone help me please

No. 298872

Do you not think you’re lubricated enough? Is he too big? Are you not aroused enough? Or are you closed up more than you’d usually be (like vaginismus)? Those things play a big factor.

No. 298887

Respect his boundaries.
But you could start with post orgasm torture, give him a handjob or something as as soon as he cum keep focusing on his head, the mix of pleasure and pain will leave him questioning many many things.

No. 298892

what does him being a foot taller than you have to do with any of that?

No. 298895

What specifically hurt? When he was hitting your cervix? (dick too big, penetration too deep - tell him to be gentlier and not go all way in) The movement itself? (too little foreplay, lubrication) The opening to vagina?

If you had troubles getting it in, my guess is you have a sturdy type of hymen. Use your fingers first, dilate the opening regularly for few days, see if the hymen relaxes. Some are just not as elastic and need more exercise, but imo it shouldn't be through sex because you can develop trauma and vaginismus.

No. 298898

that's a sad sex life. Not saying this in a mean way, I just think it must be tough for you, you can't express physical intimacy which for most people is a need.
He goes to therapy, okay. But he should actually see a sexologist for that issue. That's what they are for. You should make him go because at some point this will drain you and damage your relationship.

No. 298927

As someone who has pretty strong boundaries from trauma and has actively sought out therapy and several sexologists and sex therapists for it (they don't "fix you", they're very pro-boundaries even if you're open to exploring your reasons for them), I feel like you are better off breaking things off if he won't mutually accommodate and you aren't enjoying yourself anymore.

No. 298928

He still needs to realise and respect that he has to treat you fairly in bed too. It seems like he has little regard for that. Tbh alot of the time people who've experienced assault or abuse are pretty mindful of that. He clearly isn't.

I have csa in my past, I have a comfort zone (in the beginning) where I prefer giving so receieving acts comes at a slower pace. You have to work with your partner though and not trap yourself into a set routine that leaves no room to build trust. Tbh I doubt anything he's saying to a therapist rn is really hitting on this issue. In his mind his needs are met. You could both sit down with a couples therapist and you could explain how this is now affecting you but short of that it sounds like hes happy to just disregard your desires. Thats not ok. I get trauma but honestly.. you need to make sure this guy doesn't in turn ruin intimacy for you.

No. 298940

I respect his boundaries, but he has expressed before he wants to receive more and even take a submissive role. He finds that the most arousing as a fantasy, but we can't make it work IRL. I do think he'd enjoy it if we tried to solve the issue.
I don't think his needs are being met. He has expressed frustration at his inability to get hard when I take the lead.
Lately he asks to be the little spoon after sex, a thing that I never thought he'd ask. I know he feels uncomfortable being vulnerable in bed, so I'm glad he lets me play with his hair or look at his naked body.
His therapist is aware of his trauma and our relationship.

No. 298973

If length is the problem you might want to try Ohnut. It'll make it so he can put less length in & you can adjust it to whatever is comfortable.

No. 300897

im only attracted to japanese men and i also heard japanese men are really good at eating pussy has anyone managed to hook up with japanese guys on dating apps or tinder im interested in hearing ur stories

No. 300965

This is hella embarrassing so I'm glad anonymous boards exist, but I'm terrified of orgasming. Every time I almost get there, I end up stopping myself. I've had them, but I always feel really wrong after it.
Maybe it's embarrassment of losing control? My face being clearly erratic when I orgasm? I think I'm an avoidant person in general, maybe it's some ingrained trauma/not wanting to look weak and out of control or that shit. What do I do nonnas

No. 301028

They are good at sex. Penis is really small like they say but never bothered me. Good at eating out and make the sex feel good for you. And hygiene is on point. Make sure to be skinny and smell good and it should be easy to hook up with a Japanese man. Actually you can be chubby too in the end they are just men

No. 301033

Honestly I kinda get you. I’d also say I’m avoidant and I tended to treat sex as a show rather than an act of pleasure. Learning to let go in small increments like not being perfectly shaven or having sex when my makeup isn’t perfect has allowed me to relax more and more over time. Honestly if the other person cares about you they’ll probably really enjoy the genuineness in a not porn style orgasm.

No. 301060

nonnies who sometimes have music on when they have sex, what kind of stuff would you recommend? all the kinds of things I see recommended is stuff like pony by ginuwine and R&B really isn't my thing. I know having music on can seem embarrassing to some but my bed makes this dreadful squeaking sound which puts me off kek so would love to just have something sexy to drown out the squeak

No. 301064

No. 301065

File: 1669472555490.jpg (174.35 KB, 1000x1142, 631882527e339300187973aa.jpg)

for anyone who doesn't get the joke

No. 301066

ayrt yes I saw this too kek

No. 301215

I'm probably riddled with anxiety then because I always assume they want the best, prettiest porn-like performance from me. I need to learn how to trust people more kek

No. 301216

PLAP, plap-plap, plap, plap-plap-plap, PLAP
PLAP, plap-plap, PLAP, plap-plap-plap, PLAP

No. 303556

ok so this is sort of embarrassing but im like 23 and have never cummed in my life. like masturbation has never made me feel good ig idk how to do it well. anyway i had sex for the first time with my bf and i felt really fucking bad because he was so focused on trying to get me to cum but it just wasnt going to happen. he tried for like a hour and a half and i felt bad. he told me he just wanted to focus on me since its easier for him. he tried everything, like eating me out or fingering me but nothing felt good.

i have a history of child sex abuse so idk if i have like a mental block? but im also on antidepressants and i know that makes it really hard to orgasm too.. i dont know what would make me cum because when i masturbate nothing feels good either. idk if i should maybe lower my antidepressant dose. or just keep trying. is this normal? do i have some sort of fucked up condition? like i know its harder for women to orgasm with men coz most men dont care and only focus on penetration but it wasnt the case with me. and ive never been able to do it masturbating either. idk i just felt bad afterwards bc he really wanted me to enjoy myself.

No. 303558

Have you tried toys?

No. 303559

no, i was interested but i wasnt really sure where to start. i was sort overwhelmed with all the types of toys and i wanted to avoid buying some cheap shit from china.

No. 303579

Of course it's not normal to have never orgasmed in your life. It's probably the antidepressants; they can kill your libido and ability to orgasm completely.

No. 303727

Try the satisfyer

No. 304219

My bf didn’t get hard at me he says he jerked off twice earlier but he’s young so it shouldn’t even be an issue. I don’t like him anymore

No. 304220

He smokes and eats junk

No. 304290

Nonnies, have you ever lost ALL of your sex drive? I've become more asexual than the average memeber of the asexual community. Like, at this point I can't even produce a single appealing sexual fantasy, let alone have sex with someone. I don't know if it's psychological or should I get my hormones tested, I had low libido at times before but it never got quite so dead.

No. 304297

I hate this so much lol

No. 304299

File: 1671221015219.gif (137.15 KB, 220x220, ribisachi-raising-hand.gif)

Me. I think I masturbated slightly more when I was off the pill, but not sure if that was what killed it. I feel like nowadays I only get horny when I'm drunk or incredibly bored. It sucks because I have a bf and sex feels like a chore. I never turn him down because I don't want to hurt his feeling

No. 304302

Drunk doesn't even cut it for me nowadays, and I haven't masturbated for literal years, well, at first it was because I was having sex, but now horny is not even a state I understand anymore. I think I burned through too much happy brain chemicals a few years ago and now I'm just dead inside along with my libido but that sounds rather schizo.

No. 304303

If you figure out what caused it, please report back so I can copy it.

No. 304322

Try SSRIs.

No. 304328

Opinions seem to be pretty divided on whether they actually lower sex drive. At least when you want them to kek.

No. 304343

The old school ones like Zoloft, Lexapro, etc. commonly do. The newish ones like Prozac or Trintellix are less likely. Not going to know unless you try.

No. 304366

My bf's on Lexapro and although it doesn't kill his sex drive it kills his erections and he feels like shit about it. He's also not young and quitting smoking and drinking but god I don't know what to do anymore to help. We still manage otherwise but I want him to fuck me without having to ride him. He wants to but gets tired/half-soft.

No. 304436

Obviously he should stop taking Lexapro. It's not like it does anything anyway. A sugar pill treats depression just as well with no side effects at all.

No. 304838

Yeah, antidepressants suck if you aren't asexual and actually want to have sex/masturbate. However, if he wants to stop taking Lexapro, he should slowly lower his dose. Going cold turkey can make the side effects permanent or last for years. There are non-serotonic antidepressants too, like Bupropion that tend to be less bad, and I've read they can help with those problems.

No. 305129

nonnas i can’t cum during PIV no matter what i do. have any tips?

No. 305133

You’re not alone, it’s the most common thing not to. Have him eat you out and cum before sex.

No. 305136

ugh i wish, he says he doesn’t like eating pussy :/ it’s the only way i can get off(:/)

No. 305137

ugh i wish, he says he doesn’t like eating pussy :/ it’s the only way i can get off >>305135
i can, but it takes awhile and i can only do it in certain positions lmao

No. 305139

1. no emoticons
2. dump him

No. 305165

Oral feels good to me but I just cannot cum no matter how long my boyfriend tries, I've only been able to finish once. I don't think it's lack of sensitivity since I don't masturbate. Same with PVP, it feels good and it feels like I'm gonna have an orgasm but I never do it. Its so frustrating.

No. 305248

bf wants to eat me out, claims he likes giving head.
i'm a little nervous, because this will be my first time and i'm very insecure about my private area. how do i get over this insecurity?

No. 305254

You can't prgasm unless you muscles are totally relaxed and have him tease you a little before he eats you out, get riled up. I have the same problem just stop for a little bit then resume. Or maybe he is.. bad at head.

No. 305257

From my experience moids who say "other girls don't let me eat them out" usually suck ass at eating out and you shouldn't let them go near you . Also any sort of "she squirted/peed" is disgusting and a red flag since women often fake squirting by peeing in order to get out of a shitty sexual experience

No. 305287

how does that answer her question in any way you fucking retard kek

No. 305707

How do I get over feeling shameful of wanting to have sex?
I can mostly blame this on my ex I was with for a decade who would go out of his way and have sex with escorts and masturbate to cam girls and leave me sexually frustrated for months on end.
My boyfriend and I have agreed we don't masturbate between having sex so we can orgasm during sex. He has low testosterone, so it affects him too. I've been getting more horny lately and I keep telling myself it's not a good time. The other day I told him I was horny as soon as I got home from work and nothing happened because minutes later I had a mental breakdown about work. Last night I didn't want to say anything because it was too hot to even cuddle, our air conditioner is broken. I'm still horny. I'm sexually frustrated. Yet, I don't want to keep telling my boyfriend I'm horny every passing day. I don't want to feel like I'm forcing him to have sex with me.

No. 305711

i like having sex with my boyfriend, but recently he wants to have phone sex/ make me watch him jerk off. for some reason this always triggers me (i have ptsd from being raped by exbfs in the past.) and makes me upset. i dont understand why sex in person with him doesnt trigger me but watching on face time does. is it because i feel pressure to preform when on video cam? it's really annoying because something that should just be no big deal, always turns into a big deal with me crying lol

No. 305715

You're feeling shame over something stupid? Why? Tell your boyfriend to have sex with you or you're gonna go elsewhere or take care of it yourself.

No. 305719

Yes, I know it's stupid. I don't want to pressure him into having sex with me in fear of pushing him away if he turns down the opportunity and I resort to masturbating, because I will tell him I'm going to masturbate and he can't stop me.
On the flip side, I'm telling myself he'd be elated knowing he's dating someone who wants to actively have sex with him.
I told him the other night, if I can't masturbate because we can't have sex while I'm on my period, then I'm not going to give him a blowjob, so he has to wait with me.

No. 305722

Wait, you're not allowed to masturbate but you still suck his dick?

No. 305729

Yeah, I realized how unfair it was for me the other day, which is why I told him I won't suck his dick if I'm on my period. I was going to masturbate while laying next to him after I gave him a blowjob, but he said to wait it out for when I'm done with my period so I can orgasm when we have sex. Well, I've been done with my period for a few days and I want to have sex, but I'm too ashamed to repeatedly say I'm horny to him after the first time I did tell him, my night was ruined because of work issues.

No. 305730

File: 1672428726948.png (369.02 KB, 600x603, 010.png)

Not ayrt. I think you maybe need to have a talk with your bf where you tell him your feelings and also reconsider this arrangement of yours. I'm not sure I'm understanding this issue correctly, but do you have a problem where you're not able to orgasm with him after you've masturbated? If not I don't see why you shouldn't be allowed to masturbate. Males sometimes can't nut more than once a day, or their boner will be softer if they've already nutted, so they need special rules. It's okay to discuss things and be flexible and find what works best for the both of you, everything doesn't have to be 100% equal. Also personally I would feel awful dating a guy who refused to have sex to me just because I was on my period.

No. 305732

File: 1672429404068.jpg (137.7 KB, 1340x792, Excuse me?.jpg)

> I was going to masturbate while laying next to him after I gave him a blowjob, but he said to wait it out for when I'm done with my period so I can orgasm when we have sex

No. 305741

Yes, my issue is my clit gets too sensitive and it takes a longer time and I get too tired to even keep trying. We've experimented on masturbation and sex and we've found waiting to have sex instead of masturbating makes sex more pleasurable for the both of us and we're able to have more intense orgasms. He doesn't masturbate either for the same reasons that I have.

No. 305744

Ah okay, in that case it makes more sense to me. I'm sorry for misunderstanding you and I'm sorry you're feeling shame for wanting to have sex with him. You shouldn't, but I think it's normal when you've experienced rejection. I don't really have any advice other than talk to him about it.

No. 305746

>I realized how unfair it was for me the other day
Shit like this is why it's so aggravating to give out advice. Anons will always hold back the ONE crucial piece of information that sheds light on the situation. Stop being a fucking idiot, anon, dump his ass, he's a prick who likes to control you.

No. 305758

Girl, seriously get yourself a better man and dump your low T useless moid. Feeling undesired is going to kill your self esteem and a man should be available to fuck you any time you ask like a dog hearing the word "park". That's their job. Dump the limpdick.

No. 305841

Girl if he loves you or even likes you, he'd be willing to relieve your horniness.

No. 306601

File: 1673018144257.jpeg (158.66 KB, 828x824, 0A2BD02D-1E47-494F-B09C-EF8CBF…)

Nonas I just had weird a sex accident I’m so mortified omg. My bf and I had sex and instead of grabbing the lube out of the drawer he accidentally grabbed and used his MOISTURISER. Didn’t realise until we turned the lights on after we finished.
I showered, washed my puss as thoroughly as possible but just omfg??? There’s no burning or anything but I’m anticipating thrush or something in the next few days ahhhhhhh what do now?!
picrel: it was that

No. 306688

Is it normal for it to hurt being on top? I never feel my cervix when I’m masturbating but when I tried riding a guy for the first time recently it was pretty painful and I had to stop after 30 seconds. Is it about the angle or something? He has an average dick so it’s not a size problem.

No. 306756

How you feeling since? The fact that its not just moisturiser but an aftershave too means it probably has a good amount of alcohol in it. Good that you werent left burning. Tbh half the lubes out there have shit in them that isn't ideal either.

No. 306863

Do people hold hands during sex? Are you supposed to start sex with kissing, or can you do it whilst it is happening? Finally, do you keep your eyes closed or maintain eye contact?

No. 306935

It was reallyyyy dry the day after. I was expecting some funky discharge but yeah it was just super dry until today. Now it feels/looks/smells normal. PHEW. That product had SUCH a strong scent I’m so surprised nothing really bad happened? Bless our self cleaning vaginas

No. 306954

This post made me laugh because it's cute in a naive way. You can do those things if you want to? There really aren't any "rules" to sex, it's just what both people want to mutually do.

No. 307077

Do all girls feel like sex is mainly male focused? Like it’s expected that the man will orgasm (atleast in my relationship experience so far) while if you want to orgasm you have to push for it and suggest it. And THEN even if I do that much I feel like a burden, until I cum, and even after.

No. 307078

Well, duh. That's society 101. Not a thing will change as long as you play along.

No. 307081

You’re completely right, was wondering if it was just me or if all women felt this

No. 307095

Are UTIs unavoidable with sex even with taking the best precautions?

No. 307096

No, they shouldn’t be every time, if you’re getting them constantly the dude needs to wash better. That’s nasty.

No. 307097

No, I'm a virgin, I was just asking since everybody seems to get them, hell, a friend got one because they used the wrong condoms. If that's the case I'm just going to keep on being celibate lol.

No. 307099

You’re not nasty. The dude is nasty in this situation simply because imagine being so unwashed you give a women an infection. Sorry if I needed to clarify. It probably wasn’t the type of condoms. It was probably his unwashed hands touching her or the condom tbh.
Men have longer urinary tracts it’s why they can roll around like toxic waste plants in their pants

No. 307102

I've never had a UTI but some girls seem to be more prone to them whether you're sexually active or not. I've heard those meme condoms with different flavors, textures etc can lead to UTIs so just use normal ones and you'll probably be fine. Same goes for lube if you need that, make sure it's safe to use. There are some other precautions you can take like always peeing after sex and obviously don't have sex with dirty moids like other anon said.

No. 307108

i'm a virgin and have been getting UTIs since i was 4

No. 307109

I'm a lesbian, and even when I mention being a virgin (because small dating pool), I've had older people give me resources on how to "tolerate" PIV. It's evil. I also used to have straight/bi girls tell me horrifying experiences about their boyfriends. I once had a younger IRL friend ask me if she was still a virgin because she used a dildo once…

No. 307131

Obviously lesbians shouldn’t be told to tolerate PIV sex, but I’m a straight anon who had a hymen and my first time was painful because of it. I don’t think there’s much I could have done to make it more enjoyable for me. Now love PIV sex. Your mileage may vary, but being a woman just sucks sometimes. I'm glad I'm at least a grown ass adult now and don't have to deal with so much pressure from other people. I feel bad for young girls.

Unfortunately a lot of scrotes are selfish morons, but you're free to choose who you have sex with. I wouldn't wanna sleep with someone who didn't care about my mutual enjoyment. I'm sorry you feel like a burden, but I hope you realize you shouldn't.

No. 307144

Anyone who gets UTI's more than once a year should stock D-Mannose pills, especially if you get them a lot with sex. D-mannose is the extract in cranberries that works for attracting and bonding to the organisms in your tract, and then you can flush them out with water effectively. You can take it daily as a preventative, or you can take a couple whenever you have sex or feel like something may be off/coming. You can also treat a current infection with them and avoid antibiotics altogether which is ideal. If you mess around with anal sex at all, great idea to take just in case.
For treatment: 3 pills at onset and then take 2 pills every 2 hours (during waking hours) with as much water as you can drink so you can flush it out. Do this at least 3 days, even if you feel relief. You can not take too much.

This should be taught to all women, it's INSANE that it's not common knowledge.

No. 307201

I used to get them often so now I make it a strict rule to shower before sex if I’ve been active or have gone to the bathroom prior, always shower off afterwards too. Also getting the sensitive natural sort of lube and making sure I pee and drink lots of water. I had a horrible one last spring and antibiotics barely helped, azo OTC meds did nothing at all to help the pain so now I’m paranoid as fuck.

No. 307242

What a hassle, I'm never having sex with a guy kek.
They don't teach you about UTIs in school, only STDs and pregnancy, the whole peeing after sex thing is so elementary and easy to do, why do you have to learn it the hard way?

No. 307257

Is it normal to feel like a guy is always just about to hit your cervix? I lost my virginity recently and it’s been like this the past few times I’ve had sex, no matter the position (some are more painful than others though and so far it seems like I can only handle missionary from a certain angle). I enjoy it otherwise but the constant anticipation of pain is a bit of a mood killer. Is my cervix just low or something?

No. 307268

File: 1673361709388.jpeg (124.88 KB, 1080x1070, FlhHmVnX0AEhojS.jpeg)

Any tips for having sex for the first time? I'm kind of old (24) so I'm afraid my inexperience will make things so awkward. Should I drink pineapple juice or something??? Wax or shave or what?

No. 307270

>kind of old
>24 years old

No. 307271

Nta but old for a virgin I guess.

No. 307273

>old for a virgin
>24 years old
Tell me, anon, what's the age for having sex? 16?

No. 307274

File: 1673362852329.jpeg (74.3 KB, 749x689, 9F4DCE80-2717-4CF7-A481-28E77C…)

If you feel insecure about your body hair then you should shave. It might help you feel at ease. I'm not experienced myself so my only advice would be don't rush anything and allow yourself some foreplay. My first time was painful because we went straight to the point, which means I didn't have time to adjust and relax.

No. 307276

File: 1673363175414.jpg (98.78 KB, 594x896, f42cf8e771663d99a29af10d47fd38…)

>insecure twenty something YO
You are going to have an aweful first time. Don't jump on the one most eager and don't expect someone to respect you when you say that you are an virgin hag.
Just wait until you meet someone you can trust

No. 307277

If OP doesn't normally shave, I wouldn't recommend doing it, since it just adds another thing to worry about. There's nothing wrong with having body hair and tbh you shouldn't waste your time having sex with someone who has a problem with your natural hair.

No. 307278

But we don't know how OP feels about body hair. She herself asked if she should shave/wax so I assumed she might feel insecure. I know there's nothing wrong with body hair and that's why I said she should do it IF she feels insecure about it. After all, some women don't like and that's fine as well.

No. 307279

Thank you, yeah I guess I won't have high expectations. We plan to have sex in a month and we've been dating for 7 months so I'm stressing out over it tbh.

I think most people lose their virginity when they are teens so I'm a bit old.

Ohh I'm sorry to hear that! Painful first time sucks. I kind of have the opposite issue, when we kiss and cuddle for hours I get soaking wet and close to cumming, I noticed that a couple of times I almost came from it and idk apparently it doesn't feel good for a guy when a girl is that wet. It's embarrassing to admit. And thanks, I'll shave.

Thanks for reassurance nonnie, I'll try waxing since I still have plenty of time. I don't think he'd mind though.

No. 307280

When you see your peers around you becoming sexually active at 18~20 you can't help but feel left behind and "old" if you don't do it at the same time.
>t.30 year old virgin

No. 307282

Could be you have a low cervix, could be he has a long schlong, could be you're not sufficiently aroused. There are several factors that play in to this.

No. 307283

I wouldn't worry about being "too wet", guys who complain about that usually have death grip syndrome. To any mentally healthy guy it should be a turn-on and egotrip. I don't really have any advice because my first time was a bit painful and awkward, but I wanna wish you good luck.

No. 307284

That's just a worry that neither of you should think about, I'm 27, a virgin and had friends losing their virginities as teens like anyone else as well.
But that literally doesn't matter because not having experience at something like sex before you're 16 doesn't mean you will lose your chances to have sex or that nothing will work and everything will hurt.
Honestly, if anything you should be glad that you've been lucky enough to not end up in a shitty relationship with a too young moid that death grips to mlp porn.

No. 307600

Might want him to go get a physical. It might be indicative of underlying health problems.

No. 307664

>I wouldn't worry about being "too wet"
nta and you're right in that any decent man won't be bothered by it, but I feel like I get too wet during/before sex with my bf sometimes and it can make it feel less good for me. I guess it decreases the friction so I don't feel his dick as much if I'm that wet, even though he's pretty hung. If I get the chance I'll sometimes try to wipe some of the excess wetness away before penetration, but it doesn't help much.

No. 312472

File: 1676205621849.png (78.59 KB, 598x1018, height.png)

What are some interesting positions that work when you're slightly taller? (picrel) My bf says it's uncomfortable for him to stand because he has to go on tiptoes

No. 312522

There's a guy who I have been interested in for a while, he's also interested in me. We are currently taking our relationship slow and going out on dates we had sex for the first time last year.

At first the sex was really bad and awkward with him struggling to get his dick fully inside me or him pulling intense faces. He's only 5'8" and has more of an average build while I'm 5'11" and I have a full figured bodyshape with long legs.

We tried it doggy on the bed and missionary before we ended up finding it best when I am bent over on all fours on the edge bed while he's standing and fucking me from behind (to answer >>312472 question). The issue I am having is that when I last met up with him he was open to me about worrying that my weight is effecting our sex in other positions… but the thing is that I had sex with skinner and bigger guys in other positions before and there has never been an issue (other than me struggling to be ontop).

I am going to start hitting the gym again soon for my own health but I am actually wondering if it is my weight effecting the sex positions or if it could be something to do with the height difference or angle/positioning. I did have sex with a short guy before in doggy on the bed and I dont remember having issues with that either.

No. 312533

i literally cannot orgasm from anything that isn't a vibrator. i haven't been able to orgasm from fingering, oral, penetrative sex, anything at all ever since i first discovered masturbation. the only two things that i have ever reached orgasm with are vibrators and a shower head with a jet setting directly on my clit.

is this normal or is it something i'm doing wrong? i can enjoy sex and fingering and all that, it feels nice, but i can never cum from it. is there anyway i can fix this or anything else i can try? honestly feel a bit hopeless about it.

No. 312586

I don't know if most women would even consider this an issue but I was like that for a few years and wasn't happy with it. My first orgasm came from a 'back massager' after months of frustration before that. So I ended up relying on toys from then on. After a while I got fed up with it. I felt like I needed to use toys on really high settings to get there and it was hit and miss even then. Sometimes it'd be the strongest orgasm and other times it almost felt like a ruined orgasm from it being on such a stupidly high setting. I took a break from vibes. Had to pretty much retrain myself and get some sensitivity back. Didn't happen overnight but I got there. Once I was in the new habit I didn't struggle much. It was just the adjusment that was frustrating.

No. 314102

Is there a way to know before having sex with someone whether it will be good with them? I already have a lot of mental hang ups around sex, mostly about any acts done on me, particularly penetration. To the point I freaked out a while back because I thought my vagina is actually closed shut, but it really is just bad vaginismus (catholic shame, autism, scary sex ed, previous failed attempt at insertion etc). I have recently been able to actually relax my pelvic muscles a bit more, but I'm worried another failed/disappointing attempt with someone would just "close me off" forever so-to-speak.
I don't have a low libido btw. I feel like it's more on the hypersexual side. I'm not on antidepressants. Used to be on birth control for irregular and painful periods, but haven't been on it in years.
This makes me feel retarded and immature. I barely even dare to get naked, since the last person I dated wasn't really attracted to me and it messed with me a LOT. I would like to be touched too and actually be able to receive. Just because I can orgasm without ever taking my clothes off doesn't mean I want to live that way.

No. 314138

He’s a pathetic manlet who can’t handle his own ineptitude so he’s pushing the blame on you to protect his ego.
You should be straightforward and tell him none of your other past partners struggled with sex and it seems like he’s only one that’s ever had a problem. He’s the common denominator in all the issues.

No. 314188

the only people I know who take issue w weight that way are boring. most guys love the full service and getting crushed so take that how u want !

No. 314310

How do you swallow after a blowjob and not vomit. I’ve never been able to do it before, but honestly I’d like to be able to because it would make clean up so much easier kek. Please nonnies are there any tips for making swallowing cum not a massive chore

No. 314314

Why do you vomit? Is it the taste? Can you deepthroat? Usually I deepthroat so when my Nigel cums, I don't even feel the cum in of itself (you can tell they're cumming by the twitching motions).

No. 314328

Yeah for me it’s the taste and the feeling of it all rushing into my mouth, deep throating sounds like a good idea

No. 314342

Glad I could help. I don't mind the taste, but the sensation of it is anxiety inducing for me because I don't know how much will come out and I don't want a full mouth of cum and spit to the point where it'll burst out, lel. If you hate deepthroating, you don't need to the do it whole time, just when you think he's close to cumming. Happy BJs!

No. 314359

I literally don't care I will run to the sink and spit that shit out. Or make him cum in your hands or on his belly. It's super hot

>don't want a full mouth of cum and spit to the point where it'll burst out
Oh god this reminds me of the time it went into my nose from my throat reee

No. 315015

yeah, he already knows the sex was bad at first with us and I should tell him but then again I dont want to put him down too much about the sex I had with other guys to make him realise that it might be him and his lack of experience. I sometimes feel like telling him to go and get some sex experience if he really thinks my weight is effecting our experience with other sex positions. I forgot to mention that I am the second person he had sexual experience with, the first time he had sex with someone was during a hook up at a festival 5-10 years ago.

I think the only main difference between him and other guys I had sex with is that most times it takes him a while to cum, could be from the amount of porn he watches or us only having sex once every few months but who knows. All I know is that he really is into me and is willing to push away some of his sexual fantasies to make me happy and comfortable.

yeah I agree, I had quite a lot of people interested in my body and curves especially when im confident in myself. Dont get me wrong, the guy that I have been interested in does like my curves and how it feels in doggy but at the same time he struggles to get it in with other positions.Thank you anon for the reply though.

I just remembered that when I last met him he wanted to try another position where he sits on the edge of the bed and i would sit on him, with him holding my weight. but I felt too insecure about it and didnt even know where to put my legs, let alone how it would slip in.

No. 316074

can ladies who have experience squirting share their experience? i know it's already been discussed in this thread but i squirted recently and would love to understand it more since the literature is similar to what is echoed here (it's porn, its pee, etc.)
i don't think it's pee because it appeared to be shooting directly from my vagina and it was closer to cum in appearance (as in white/more opaque) rather than pee. he didn't ejaculate in my vagina and we were having anal sex at the time.
also, another note. i've been with two other men who told me i squirted and im pretty sure i just peed since i didnt feel anything and wasn't anywhere close to orgasm or g spot stimulation. once it was even in some dude's mouth lmao.

No. 316106

Lately I've been having thoughts of wanting to find a big hot muscular man and just have plain vanilla sex with him and have a normal relationship with him outside that. I don't want to fuck strangers and I have zero interest in romantic things. I think the main point here is that I'm still very inexperienced and have never been in a relationship before. I don't want to end up feeling devalued and just like some side piece or trophy for him. I think for one, I should never try to alter my appearance to please him, I don't want any gifts or whatnot, I don't want to go out on cutesy dates or act sweet and affectionate toward him since that all sounds extremely degrading to me in my opinion. I dunno, I mean, would any attractive man even want me? I can't keep up in any sports and I have absolutely zero muscle definition, I'm only slightly larger than average, and I'm not very social and mostly only care about nerdy shit like computers, electronics, video games, and anime. I might be having unrealistic ideals of a relationship that are born of inexperience. Should I just be upfront about wanting sex with an attractive male and try to find one on a dating website and get to know him first? How could I get along with someone so different based entirely on superficial attractiveness?

No. 316197

I’m getting virgin vibes from this post. I hope you find what you’re after anon, but take care of yourself along the way. Just be aware that when you are intimate with someone you feel attracted to your body produces a lot of feel-good hormones, it’s like being on a drug and took me by surprise the first time. I think platonic sex can work but it’s riskier for women, especially when you are so inexperienced.

I might be wrong, but it sounds like you want to explore sex and intimacy but feel like you are not “gf material” (or not good enough for the kind of man you’re attracted to), so instead of risking rejection you look for a fwb situation because it lets you feel like you are in control. I could probably have written this post myself 10 years ago. I’m sure you can find a million hot muscular men who would be happy to fuck you, but for the fwb thing you also need chemistry and boundaries.

>I don't want to go out on cutesy dates or act sweet and affectionate toward him since that all sounds extremely degrading to me in my opinion

Maybe I misunderstand this part but I don’t think there’s anything inherently degrading in acting sweet/affectionate towards someone you’re having vanilla sex with lol, but maybe I’m a slut. I feel like it’s normal human interaction and the person usually treats you nice in return.

>Should I just be upfront about wanting sex with an attractive male and try to find one on a dating website and get to know him first?

Yea I would probably just give Tinder a go

No. 316203

deep throating to swallow cum more efficiently sounds like a recipe for getting a load right in your lungs. or at least a recipe for gagging if cum in general makes you gag. what the fuck. I actually like this sexual act but he has to pull out, choking on cum is not the move.

No. 316204

rethink your thoughts.

No. 316207

You don't breathe in while doing this, obviously. This is an advanced technique anyways, if having a dick in the back of your mouth makes you choke then obviously this is not for you.

No. 316210

conceptually I can see it, absolutely, but realistically there's a lot that would have to go into this being more pleasant than the other options. definitely needs partner coordination, he would have to understand the positioning is important and he would have to be the right size (or range of size). I'm intrigued by this but I see logistical hurdles and I tend to focus on those.

No. 316215

make him cum on himself, he can clean up as a thank you

No. 316216

Sex will only feel good if you work on yourself and build some confidence. He can be great in bed but of you're too scared to even be naked or relax it wont be good no matter what.

No. 316222

Why me being on the top hurts so much? Same with him being on the top. My boyfriend can't really insert himself inside since it just feels like burning sort of pain. PIV is successful only when we are spooning and he is the big spoon. Even then it hurts if he goes 'too deep', it seems he can't insert it fully, barely half-way? We use lube and he's really gentle and does it slowly but to no avail. I don't think he's bigger than average. What could I do? Is spooning successful because of the position or something?

No. 316223

Yeah I think positions where he enters you from behind, like spooning or doggy, is easier and allows for more volume. I've heard well-endowed guys often prefer those position because other positions may or may not hurt the girl. When I'm not 100% in the mood but still wanna have sex I like doing doggy because it usually feels great and is very easy on my body even if I'm not fully aroused. Your problem could for sure be a size issue but could also be other things, I just think those positions are the easiest to do PIV in regardless of what the source of your pain is.

No. 316381

File: 1678523064916.png (779.1 KB, 623x611, 1654031141229.png)

How protected am I from pregnancy if I use birth control pills (take them daily, same time every day and have been on them for years for my period) + my partner uses a condom? I feel like I'm finally ready to have sex with my long term boyfriend but I'm still kind of scared of pregnancy. I read online the safety is 99.9% with these combined methods used perfectly. I'm tired of living my life afraid, I know there's plenty of people that just use 1 method and are fine, so.. should I really be that worried about it nonnies if i'm careful?

No. 316569

you are extremely protected. No one can say there is zero chance in the universe you will get pregnant but there is basically zero chance in the universe you will get pregnant.
fyi I would still get you and your partner tested for stds before you bone raw, some things can even be transmitted through oral contact so it's a good idea regardless and std testing is usually free anyway (idk I'm paranoid and did this for myself and I don't regret it even though everything came back negative, he didn't mind either which I think was a good sign and a good shit-test in retrospect lol)

No. 316606

I've been doing it that way for 7 years and I've not got pregnant yet

No. 316703

I think there's something wrong with me. My clit literally isn't sensitive. I pulled back my hood because its sort of small to make sure I'm actually touching it but I feel nothing. It feels like rubbing my leg. My boyfriend kept trying to give me a clitoral orgasm because I've never had an orgasm in my life but I literally never feel anything so I just told him to stop.
I switched my medicine to an antidepressant that doesn't have sexual side effects to hopefully feel something and I still haven't… The closest thing I've gotten to feeling good was my legs shaking a bit with my boyfriend but I know that wasn't an orgasm. I feel bad because my boyfriend is my first and he really wants me to orgasm so he will try and have sex with me for more than a hour and I literally get tired. He won't let himself orgasm until I feel pleasure first but sometimes I just tell him I want to get it over with at the end and that its okay. I feel really bad and feel like theres either something wrong with my clit or I have a mental block with sex. I mean sex feels a bit good to me, like taking a hot shower, but I've never had a full body orgasm. I wonder if I have anorgasma or something. Do any other nonnies have like non sensitive clits…. Like I know its common to not orgasm from PiV but everyone seems to have clitoral orgasms and I feel bad about myself.

No. 316706

Were you on antidepressants like SSRI/SNRIs before switching? If it reuptakes serotonin in some way then the chances of it happening is possible, although Wellbutrin tends to be an okay medication since it's an NDRI. I've been SSRI antidepressant-free for several years and my clit is desensitized as a result from being on them in the first place, although I'm slowly getting better. I can only orgasm with vibrators.

No. 316738

Yes. I've been on Zoloft since I was like 12 or other similar classes of SSRIs and only got off of them now in my early 20s.. I'm taking wellbutrin right now. My psych said it might be zoloft but it might also be a mental block but like how am I supposed to know? I feel like it has to be because of the drugs if my clit feels dull. I was supposed to switch to wellbutrin when I was 14 but they never let me go through with it in the end because there wasn't enough testing done on kids. I think wellbutrin is managing my depression and anxiety way better right now anyway. I wish I switched all those years ago so I could feel something. How long did it take you to regain feeling? Like 3-4 years? I hate that I'll never fully enjoy sex because of my antidepressants. No one told me the serious side effects as a kid, I guess they don't think we're having sex at 12 but…

No. 316744

this is stupid but has anyone dealt with a guy secretly filming them having sex? i wanna know if there's a way to stop someone from sharing it or if its over

No. 316751

It's illegal in most countries, you should report him to the police.

No. 316782

I was on them as a kid too, and I thought I was asexual for a while (I had fantasises often and liked erotica but didn't have crushes or enjoy masturbating). Zoloft and Lexapro seem to be the worst medications I read about since they're the old-school kinds, even a small dose of Zoloft zapped my libido completely and made it feel like I had nothing down there.

>My psych said it might be zoloft but it might also be a mental block but like how am I supposed to know?

I also had doctors try to tell me that's a "mental/psychological issue" but my sensitivity wasn't nearly as bad until my dosage changed. It's blaming the patient for something they prescribed without informed consent. It's been almost 5 years, and I'm slowly regaining feeling (including capacity for physical arousal), I used to be incapable of orgasming without a Vibratex wands on the highest setting, but now even a low setting is too intense for me. So there's hope.

>No one told me the serious side effects as a kid, I guess they don't think we're having sex at 12 but…

I wasn't even told of the side effects as a grown adult, I was only informed that it would affect pregnancy if I did. It's so sexist. If a man has erectile dysfunction from medication they can give him Viagra or have him taper off, but I was always told that it's a me problem or a symptom of being depressed (it's not, I still have diagnosed clinical depression even when my libido is high) and to suck it up, or just try yet another SSRI/SNRI.

No. 316884

Um. Is it normal for a guy to not be able to get hard without you having to jerk him off first? What does that mean???

No. 316885

Probably ED from porn addiction induced death grip. Run nonna.

No. 316886

He's full of bullshit and you should run away. That is completely untrue, and so is blue balls.
If you do choose to hang out with him again and you are safe and he says the same thing, tell him "Sorry, I'm too young to be with someone who has erectile dysfunction" and leave, never speaking to him again.

No. 316888

He ""claims"" to not watch porn. That was my first thought too. I didn't know if there could be another explanation possibly. Maybe it's time to have a really awkward conversation.
Fuck. I really liked this one.

No. 316889

I feel you nona. I recently saw I guy who I really liked and the sex was amazing but he's turning out to be distant and a jerk so we can move on emotionally together.

No. 316908

Could just be nerves.
He could be overthinking.

No. 316912

And a handjob helps him get his thoughts in order?
Lol shut up

No. 317035

Just giving my two cents lol!

No. 317063

I think I have the ability to orgasm internally but I haven't "unlocked" it yet. When my bf fingers me I can literally feel the build like I do when I rub my clit but I've not been able to "get" there. I find it very hard to orgasm clitorally when in front of someone in general, for a few reasons (clit isn't that sensitive, autism and I get too over-stimulated to focus on pleasure, previous SA trauma so hard to totally let go in the moment.)
I'm wondering if there are other nonnies out there who went from being not all that sensitive in general to finding that they can orgasm in ways they didn't expect, how they were able to reach it, etc. I'm mostly past the trauma aspect, so I honestly just think it's a combination of stage fright, over-stimulation, and being an uptight person in general that it's hard to totally relax.

No. 318104

When you buy a new pack of condoms, remove the cellophane from the box before you intend to use them. I learned the hard way when it took two of us a couple of minutes to get into the box.

No. 318183

Ashamed to say I have no fucking clue how to be on top. Trying to ride cowgirl or reverse always seems to cause slip outs, I don't really know how to move for either of our pleasure, and I get tired really quickly even though I'm in decent shape. I've tried googling and just get weird girlboss shit, watching videos is demoralizing because all the girls in porn do insane moves I can't even fathom being able to try. Please give me tips that aren't just "try grinding your hips!"

No. 318194

Porn addict.

No. 318206

Whenever I'm on top I just go for what feels good to me lol. If you have a partner who is patient with you I recommend slowing down, trying out different angles, movements, speeds and so on. I like to more or less lie down on his chest and grind slowly, kinda the reverse of missionary position. It's very intimate, probably gives me the most control, I can go at it for a long time and at the same time I don't feel so exposed if it's with a new partner. Some also get added clitoral stimulation from this position. I also like sitting up straight and going up and down hard. He'll go deeper in this position and if he's big enough he can hit your cervix (which I'm personally into, but some find it painful). It's probably the position with highest chance of him accidentally sliding out and breaking his dick though, so going too fast is dangerous.

No. 320329

I have no desire to have sex with anyone and frankly the idea disgusts me but I have no problem with erotica/depictions of sex in fiction. Sometimes I read romance novels with sex scenes in them and I'll enjoy it though. I do get horny and masturbate but really only during ovulation and I have no desire for sex or touching irl. Wtf is wrong with me? Like imagining sex is fine but actually doing it is a disgusting thought. I'm not a virgin either. I also don't watch porn or look at hentai or anything like that. I do find some people sexually attractive but I'd rather admire from afar or fantasize than actually get involved with anyone.

No. 320330

I'm like that when I am not in a relationship. I only enjoy or desire sex when I am in love.

No. 320332

Thing is, I'm in a long term relationship. I don't want to have sex with anyone even if I'm in a relationship or not

No. 320408

Are you even attracted to your partner?

No. 321449

How do I teach my boyfriend to eat me out? My past relationships were abusive so it goes without saying I wasn't getting any good head. My boyfriend loves doing it, and it feels alright, but something just feels off? It's like he's not stimulating the right nerves to get me to cum, it's just pleasure that goes nowhere and feels irritating after a while.

He can make me climax with his hands and dick(although not as reliably) and he'll do anything I ask him to, so there's nothing wrong with his ability or enthusiasm, but he won't know what feels good for me when he's sucking on my pussy if I don't tell him… and I don't know what to tell him! I don't know what directions to give him to make it feel better, I'm completely lost. Should I just make him try different techniques until we find one that works?

No. 321458

Maybe you just don't like being eaten out? I've been eaten out by both men and women, never once liked it so I just stopped doing it and always refuse when offered. I'm sticking to things that I enjoy and that make me orgasm easily, like penetration. Different people are pleased in different ways

No. 321539

Anons. I'm 21 and I just lost my virginity, and honestly I don't know how to feel about the whole ordeal. He's a nice enough guy and everything but I think at some point during the date beforehand I just lost my attraction to him. I think his dick was on the smaller or slightly smaller than average size because I felt pain when he first went in, but after that when he was fucking me it didn't feel like much was happening? (There was some blood afterwards so I know it happened) His dick also slipped out a few times so idk if its just because he was small, but I didn't feel any pleasure from it, it's the next day and I also don't feel any pain down there. Before this when masturbating I would only ever do clit stimulation over underwear, but I was feeling too shy and insecure to straight up touch my clit with him. And this was another thing, I've always been a very ticklish and squeamish type of person, so every time he tried to kiss my neck or down my body like on my stomach I kept squirming away and even burst out laughing a few times, but he didn't seem to get that I was uncomfortable with that. I generally am not a touchy feely type of person, so his constant licks and his open mouth kisses and his scratchy beard were all off putting. Also, afterwards it was really funny how he was dripping in sweat and out of breath and I was just completely normal kek. I don't know nonas. Like I said he's a really sweet guy and he seems to keep wanting to see me, and my own insecurities about my body didn't seem to bother him at all, but I'm starting to feel that the attraction just wasn't there. He wanted to do it again this morning, but I just wanted to get out of there and get home. I feel like the problem is with me because he would caress me and kiss me but I just wasn't into it (I half did this just for the experience and in that regard I guess I was glad I got it over with, but now I am majorly underwhelmed and am also dealing with some slight catholic guilt)

The only thing I'm not sure about is whether this was a standard first time and I just have to keep pushing myself to just loosen up and enjoy it like I told myself multiple times during. I just don't know if I can handle being with someone so touchy all the time when I really fucking hate that. I want to say this to him but I'm not very assertive and couldn't even articulate how much I hate PDA when he kept trying to open mouth kiss me and hold me on our date. There's so much more I want to blogpost about but don't want to write an even bigger wall of text

No. 321543

You sound like you’re not super attracted to him, and as a consequence it wasn’t that pleasurable. You don’t have to keep seeing him if you don’t want to, him being “nice enough” isn’t a good basis for a pleasurable relationship or sex. It comes with more life experience (not necessarily having more sexual encounters) that you realize what exciting chemistry is like, and what a good partner means for you.

No. 321544

There's nothing wrong with you from what I can tell. I think it'd be better to have sex with someone you're very attracted to and actually enjoy touching and being close with. If penis size is an issue, someone bigger could help too. It doesn't sound like you're in a relationship with this guy, for some, being in a loving relationship makes sex much better too. But even given all that, your first time isn't guaranteed to be good, I had all of the above going for me and I felt pretty similarly to you (I also have a Catholic background). However the next times we had sex it just got better and better.

No. 321550

Thanks anons, you're right in that I wasn't super attracted to him (I was when I first met him), especially because I think he's such a bad kisser, but I kinda felt that because of all his other qualities (which are pretty hard to find) that maybe it was due to my own inexperience that I couldn't relax and be comfortable enough to enjoy it. I really appreciate the input

No. 321582

What should I say to an irl friend I haven't responded to in a few months? There's no drama or problems in my life as the reason why I ignored her. I know it's such a horrible thing for me to do–especially since she seemed really concerned for me–but I can't handle chatting online and replying back all the time so I tend to "take breaks" from talking to people online. People who knew me for a long tend to understand this about me, but she's a newer friend. Any advice as to what I should say to not make her sad?

No. 321620

>It's just pleasure that goes nowhere
It's called 'foreplay' for a reason! In my experience, expecting to come can make it harder for it to happen. Just enjoy it- getting eaten out- for what it is, stop it when you get "warmed up" and switch to something else you like, and what makes you get off. I get it's frustrating! But if you're set on getting an orgasm that way, it goes without saying that trying different techniques can help.

No. 321621

Some women can only come from oral, some women don't even like it. Everyone is different. Maybe hands and piv are the two things that does it for you.
She isn't talking about foreplay though, she is talking about oral sex.

No. 321631

Oral sex is foreplay for a lot of people

No. 321801

I'm esl and I thought foreplay was teasing each other and making out to get horny for sex, not doing sex acts.

No. 323941

What are you supposed to do when you and your bf are both inexperienced (we broke each other's v card) and find it hard to initiate sex? Its gotten to the point where we want to do it but dont have confidence to make it happen the "natural" way ig so we just say "do you feel like fucking" every now and then. But its so unsexy lol what should i do?

No. 324899

nonnas, I think im going to give up and repress my sexual feelings and go back to femcel. i think my gf is either ace or not sexually attracted to me any more, and while she quit viewing porn months ago, i feel like it might be too late for her to ever enjoy sex again. i love her dearly and she is my soul mate, so i want to be blackpilled into not desiring sex/feeling like im just. not sexyally attractive or available. this request probably won't be met very well, i don't want reassurance or anyone to convince me to break up with my gf, im going to be living with her in a week so i have no other choice than to brainworm my way out of any feelings of sexual desire.

No. 328120

Anons I have a weird problem. Since I learnt about masturbating when I was a teen, I've always held my breath until I orgasm. Now, every time I have sex or do anything sexual, I have to hold my breath which sounds find in theory but it actually looks really weird during sex, because I am just deadly silent and to be honest, I don't want this habit, I want to be able to talk and breath etc
How do I train myself out of this habit? Even now that I've essentially quit masturbating, the habit is still there if I ever have sex

No. 328140

Could you try masturbating while trying not to hold your breath and thus slowly train yourself out of it? Trying to kill the habit while having sex with someone else might be too difficult because there are all kinds of distractions, whereas when masturbating you can go slowly and take breaks as you wish.

No. 328156

I swear I've tried so many times and I still can't seem to unlearn the pattern, also I'm trying to masturbate less if at all as its kind of bad for my mental state, but I guess when or if I do I will continue trying to breath

No. 328175

How do I make myself desire sex more?

No. 328178

Why do you want to desire sex more? Did you use to desire it? Are you single or in a relationship? It's hard to give advice when there's so little to go from, but you could start out just masturbating and exploring sexual fantasies in your head.

No. 328182

This is normal when we lived at home and had to be stealthy with our masturbation habits. I think moaning can be a way to counteract this. If you live someplace where it's ok to make a bit of noise, you can try moaning along the "waves" when you are masturbating and feel yourself getting close to orgasm. It doesn't have to be super loud, should feel natural. You expel air by doing this which also means you need to breathe in more air. You might feel awkward and like it's a bit contrived at first, but when done comfortably I think it works kind of like a mantra and can help to ground you in the experience.

No. 328188

Idk how to help you but I had a bf with the same habit and that shit is so off-putting. First time we had sex he held his breath to orgasm and it genuinely scared me. I was like wtf was that and he explained the same you said. I said stop that or I'm not having sex with you, that shit's scary. The last thing I want to think about during sex is whether someone will collapse over me and die from not breathing. Because it looks that way.
Anyway, he said sure, and stopped doing it. Idk how he did it, but my threat worked. And I totally would have dumped him if it didn't. That kind of sex was too stressful.

No. 328195

As anon here >>328178 said you should start by asking yourself why do you want to desire sex more. Do you want it for yourself or for the sake of someone else? Besides your baseline libido which cannot really be changed at will, your hormones and general lifestyle may affect how much you want to have sex. Are you having a lot of stress, are you sleeping enough etc.

No. 328367

nonnie….. I don't understand why you'd want to suppress desires that come natural to you. Wanting sexual intimacy from your partner is fairly normal. Lesbian bed death is also more common than you'd think. Are you open in discussing your sexual needs and wants with her? Has something traumatic happened, or is she going through a stressful period in her life? There could be a number of factors that make her feel a dip in libido, and those factors are something we cannot tell you. It's a hard conversation to have, but when mismatched libido/desire rears its head, the only way it can really be solved is through a frank discussion between the two of you.

No. 328388

Why are you moving in with someone you can't talk to? You think she's ace, you think she lacks the ability to have sex, you think she's not attracted to you. How can you claim to love someone you know so little about. You have your thoughts but those are her truths. Fucking talk to your partner. Write out your concerns and ask for honest answers if you have to. For all you know she is sick or dealing with depression in secret. She may be disatisfied with you or even stressed over something else but without direct, clear and to the point honest dialogue you will never know. Stop assuming things and talk!

No. 328486

super frustrated bc im ovulating and stressed and just want to get fucked hard by some chad, but im an ugly autistic femcel retard and am totally clueless on how to engage with moids. in a perfect world i could go up to some man i think is hot and personally tolerable and say would you have sex with me and it wouldnt be weird or inappropriate at all, id get a yes or a no and we could go from there. and it would be illegal with a death penalty for men to do that. its also particularly frustrating because i dont like men and dont like talking to them, honestly i would love to be frank n furter and just make a mindless chad sex drone for myself kek. its so annoying that when im this horny masturbating no longer cuts it
do any of you more suave anons have solutions for the issue? it should be emphasized that im a loser and the kind of woman who is at best off putting to men and more usually invisible to them. is my best bet looksmaxxing

No. 328490

buy a fuck machine

No. 328498

How old are you? I was a socially retarded horny femcel like you into my early 20s. Long story short going out drinking solved this for me, but I by no means endorse my past behavior and it was a dark time in my life. As long as you are young and within a healthy BMI, you’d be surprised by the guys you can score when it’s just sex. If you are obese, my impression is you need to try harder to look good and either be extremely picky or chose from bottom of the barrel. My fat friend fucks around a lot. We live in Europe and she only sleeps with African/Middle Eastern immigrants that pester her for anal sex all the time, it’s so bleak. These days you have all kinds of apps for hooking up so you can give it a try, but keep in mind when you screw a guy you’re attracted to the hormones your body produce are intense. When I was young and stupid it caught me off guard and I accidentally fell in love with a dude which sucked. However I think these horny feelings won't go away on their own and it's a normal learning experience. Just take the normal precautions to stay as safe as possible.

Also keep in mind while I was horny and desperate for sex, there was also a part of me that wanted to experience romance and just feeling like I was good enough and casual sex won’t give you this.

No. 328500

im thin, early 20s. im just kind of mid looking, dont know how to do makeup and dont dress up bc autismo sensory problems+poorfag atm. i dont like alcohol and wouldnt go to clubs to hook up because theyre full of uggos. theres a handsome guy on my floor at work who i am thinking about in particular when i wrote my first post but that wouldnt work, hes not with my company so we dont even talk.
i might try the apps but moids are so annoying it turns me off lol. something is weird with my brain where i become repulsed by someone after im done fucking him lol. ive had sex with a couple of men and ended up completely ghosting both of them because they got so annoying and would always pester me when i was busy. i felt absolutely nothing but sexual desire for either.
if only, part of the stress relief for me is the sensory element of a warm weight on me so that wouldnt scratch the itch. sad

No. 328505

Did someone feed a bot a bunch of lolcow posts? There’s so many buzzwords and generic phrases in this

No. 328954

Should I gain sexual experience via a fwb sort of situation before settling down?
There is a woman I could see myself being with long term but I have zero sexual experience with anyone, woman or man. This makes me feel self-conscious because ideally I'd like to mainly be the giver but I don't want to fumble around and ruin everything for her.
Should I experiment and figure out how to sexually perform first or would the ideal person just understand the situation?
Another layer is that it takes me a very long time to be comfortable and vulnerable, so casual sex with a stranger is out of the question. I also experience discomfort with being touched and barely hug even my close friends.

No. 328974

You don’t get better at sex from sleeping with a bunch of different people one time, you get better at sex from doing it repeatedly with someone you’re comfortable with who tells you what they like and don’t like.

I personally told my first boyfriend that even though I wanted to be with him forever, I knew with the type of person I was I probably couldn’t marry the person I lost my virginity to without exploring more. I’m a curious person, it is what it is. I told him that when I was 16, and after some years apart we are back in each others lives at 23 and intend to settle down together one day, for other reasons now just isn’t the time.

Explore sex with someone you’re comfortable with then decide if you deep down feel like you need to explore more. If you have no like personal crises about sleeping with one person that’s fine, but I have some friends going through that right now. One was content never sleeping with anyone else. One is having an identity crisis about it, and that’s not something you can just buckle down and get through, it’ll come back whether in a month or 20 years. Do what you gotta. People are different you know what you need.

But you will, in terms of performance, probably get better at sex by getting comfortable with one person in the beginning.

No. 328985

>it’ll come back whether in a month or 20 years
is this just the female equivalent of male pick up prove yourself pick-up phase or what

No. 329039

This is honestly a weird question. Lesbian/bisexual women have a tiny dating pool, so "experience" or "getting good at sex" isn't a priority for same-sex relationships.

No. 329132

Right so me and my nigel generally have a great sex life, we're very compatible and our libidos seem to match up.
However, I've recently found myself faking orgasms in a few instances. I think it's because usually I orgasm pretty fast, almost always earlier than he does and regularly multiple times too. However there are some instances where I'm feeling good but not quite getting there, and at those times I sometimes feel kind of pressured to orgasm anyway, lest he feels like he did a bad job. Also sometimes I just had my fun and don't want to continue forever, and I know he'll wait for me to cum before we stop.
I only do it a very small percentage of the times, and it's always when I'm very close anyway, but still, is this stupid? I don't mind it that much, but I also feel weird faking it.

No. 329965

I have a good relationship with my Nigel. It's been a year though and I think the difference in libido is getting to me. We agreed to have sex when we're not tired or too full and all that, so weve been fucking for once a week.
I thought it was fine for me at first, but recently I've been having many wet dreams about muscle hunk type of guys, and i've been catching myself 'miring other guys in waking life, too. For reference, my Nigel is a skinny nerd, which is a kind of guy I've loved since I was a little kid so its even weirder that I'm eyeing a completely different faction of moid. I feel kinda terrible about it and I thought I'd never be one of those people who start to be attracted to their partners opposite. I think it's really primitive and I'm embarrassed.
I have enough self restraint to not do such a shitty thing like cheat on my bf, and besides, we have a great thing together, so id be stupid to break up with him just cause I want to fuck a buff guy with issues.
Main thing is, I don't find myself attracted to him as much anymore. He turns down sex more than he accepts it and it's hard for him to cum sometimes, though he doesn't have ED. He always 100% without fail eats me out and it's unlikely he watches porn in his spare time, but yknow, this site taught me that nothing is impossible. I just want him to really rail me like a freaking animal, I guess.
Maybe this seems rambley. All I really wanna know is how to feel lust for my Nigel again.

No. 329970

I’m sorry anon, but if he turns down sex that frequently and it’s hard for him to nut, those are common red flags that he’s watching porn or getting off in other ways to a degree where sex with you isn’t cutting it anymore.
It sounds to me like you’re not lusting after him because he’s not lusting after you. I think sexual desires can give fuel to each other, but he’s choosing not to spend his sexual energy on you which in return makes you stop seeing him in that light. This sounds like a problem you need to fix together and not by yourself, or you need to next him.

No. 330049

Nona I can relate to this as have been in a similar situation. Just talk to him about it - you don't need to say you're faking if you don't want to but I think you can express that sometimes it just doesn't happen for you and that's ok or that sometimes you don't want sex to go on forever but it's not a reflection on his performance. I get overstimulated if I cum a couple of times and after that point sex just isn't that fun for me and with my current partner we talked about that quite early on and it really helped set expectations and helped our communication during sex

No. 332404

I've come to the conclusion that the placement of our bedroom is stunting our sex life, and romantic life in general.
Ever since we moved from a one-bedroom apartment where all our living area was on one floor, Nigel and I could easily lay in bed together for a few minutes to cuddle, and it was easier for one of us to initiate sex whenever we wanted.
Now, we live in a bigger apartment. Our bedroom is on the second floor, and it's the only thing on the second floor besides a bathroom and the laundry room. Basically, you only go upstairs to do chores or sleep. We have a TV up there, but it's barely used. If we want to have sex, we'll attempt on the couch (we've only done this once), but it's not as comfortable as the bed, which you basically have to make more of an effort to go up to the bed compared to any other place.
Is there any way this can be resolved? I'm thinking maybe it's best to switch our 2nd bedroom that we use to place our desks and computers with our master bedroom upstairs, because you'd still need to go downstairs to use the kitchen to grab a snack or something.

No. 332412

have him get his hormones checked

No. 332571

i'm very inexperienced and generally anxious in terms of sex but there's a guy who's def a few years older than me that i want to pursue, but idk how to pick up any signs from guys or identify if there's actually tension between us, or if i'm just autistic. and i don't really know how i would even talk to him ab wanting to fuck him! help me nonnas

No. 332617

>i don't really know how i would even talk to him ab wanting to fuck him

Ok but how often do you talk to him? Your whole post is pretty vague.

No. 332792

pretty often, i mean i’ve only known him a few months but i’ve gotten to know him a lot better over the past few weeks. sorry ab the vagueness just struggling to find an accurate way to describe my situations

No. 332814

File: 1685764590005.png (300.25 KB, 981x730, Screenshot_20230602-204906.png)

>married for five years
>Have only had sex a handful of times in that period
>Husband has phimosis which makes sex painful unless he uses a cream several times a day
>I'm on antidepressants so my drive is already low
>We don't have any marital problems

I don't know how to talk about this with him or tell him it's okay. Everytime we talk about it he's like "oh yeah I'll start using that cream more and we'll have sex all the time" I know he isn't like porn addicted or anything and we are still very affectionate with each other so I'm not sure if it's even a real issue. Should I press this and figure it out? I don't want this turning into a thing years down the line. I'm happy with our relationship and so is he I think but I can't tell if this is a problem or just societal norms freaking me out.

No. 332828

Uhhh I would be extremely concerned and upset if my husband voluntarily chose to maintain a medical problem he could cure with a little effort because he has so little interest in having sex with me. If you don't want to have sex either then it's fine I guess but I'd be insulted beyond words and furious at him for being so lazy with his health and neglectful of our sex life.

No. 332836

Iirc there's a surgery to fix phimosis and it's permanent, he has lo excuse.

No. 332845

I feel like this situation is a little bit on you as well. It’s been 5 years, if you want to have a sex life at all you need to have a serious talk with him. Tell him sex is important to you and you don’t wanna live the rest of your life like this. Otherwise you are either in for celibacy for the remainders of your days together, or you need to find someone else to fuck. Even tho he has phimosis he may still masturbate in secret. Tbh I can picture a scenario in which he prefers to get off on his own simply because sex is too painful and too much of an effort or something. I find it a little sus that he is not more proactive in trying to fix this.

My ex had phimosis, although not as severe as your husband’s so we could still have sex, but it was uncomfortable for me. Imo phimosis is the only situation in which getting a circumcision is ok. If the creams aren’t helpful, he should consult a surgeon to find out what his options are. One of my guy friends also has phimosis, and apparently there might be surgical ways to fix it that don’t require circumcision, though results may vary (my friend told me he would prefer getting cut, but his surgeon didn’t want to because he needed to have a “pretty penis” kek). If your bf decides to get cut, then be prepared for healing to take longer than you’d expect (you don’t need to tell him this, just know that you still might have to wait a while before having sex). I’m sure it depends on which procedure he goes for.

No. 332868

Why rack your brain about it when you're apparently both happy about the way things are? The two of you having sex just because of some expected ~healthy~ baselevel won't help you down the line.

No. 332897

So basically any chance you have at having sex with him because you become horny has to be on hold because he isn't keeping up with using cream? At that point, by the time you have sex, you're already sexually frustrated. If this is true, do you care about the sexual frustration or are you overly patient about this?

No. 332961

I told my boyfriend I wanted us to have sex more often and he basically explained sex wasn't as important as it is to him compared to me, but it doesn't mean he isn't attracted to me or wants me, he just doesn't want to do it as often. He said he'll look into getting testosterone treatment because he does know he has low T, but it frustrated me about how he was reductive to how important I viewed having sex. He said, "Will fucking you fix everything?" "Do I have to start objectifying my girlfriend so I can have sex with her more often?" "I'm not going to become a porn addict to have more sex." I just enjoy the intimacy and the fact sex is a bonding experience that we exclusively enjoy between each other.

No. 332979

Medfag here, he should see a doctor. Low libido can just be a sign of a lot of illnesses. It's fine to continue like this if you're both fine but he really should see a doctor and a psychiatrist.

No. 333015

Pretty weird for a guy to view having sex with his gf as objectifying and the porn addiction part might be telling on himself. He's probably one of those lazy guys who prefers jerking off to the real thing because sex requires effort to please someone else and not just himself.

No. 333043

>Pretty weird for a guy to view having sex with his gf as objectifying
unfortunately it's not, i was gonna mention this earlier but didn't want to party poop too hard– there have been studies showing what happens in a moid's brain when he's aroused by a woman. His brain literally starts processing her like it does for actual objects like a spoon or a book. it's pretty interesting when moids reveal this by their own admittance, "what, you want me to objectify you?" because that is quite literally how moids have sex.

No. 333069

I talked to him about how I disliked how he described it, he agrees sex is how I view it and he added, "But you can't ignore the fact that it's also sexual." The way he described what happens when we have sex, he has to mentally distract himself so he doesn't cum in me so fast. He has to basically play mind games while being aroused to keep an erection. I asked him if he could not do the distractions because it'll probably make sex more enjoyable overall, but he refused. He doesn't want to pull out in the event of him cumming and he doesn't want to wear a condom, because it doesn't feel good at all. I appreciate his honestly, but it doesn't stop me from wanting to still have more sex with him, so I guess I'm waiting and suffering until he meets with a doctor.

No. 333070

> He doesn't want to pull out in the event of him cumming and he doesn't want to wear a condom
Maybe if he wore the damn thing he can last a little longer, and save you from an unwanted pregnancy. Sounds like he’s looking for excuses to avoid intimacy

No. 333076

i'm sorry but your moid sounds really off. No normal male makes this many varied excuses to get out of having sex with a woman he supposedly is attracted to. I think you should give him an ultimatum that either he puts in the work to get his supposed issues taken care of, or he has to stop making excuses and let you go.

No. 333113

That's one weird fucker… weird guy.

No. 333215

>"Will fucking you fix everything?"
Was he exasperated when he said this? He sounds kinda gay tbh

No. 333405

File: 1685977272614.png (109.95 KB, 588x572, Screen Shot 2021-11-22 at 8.11…)

Does anyone have any tips for gently correcting technique with guys without making it awkward or ruining the momentum? I basically have a lot of trouble advocating for myself even in a fwb situation where it should be totally acceptable to be self-centered. Basically: What kind of stuff do you say if someone's earnestly trying to get you off but just not doing it right without bringing it to a screeching halt and still being sexy?

No. 333413

some low-libido woman who wants little more than one or two kids from her male partner will be ecstatic to have your disinterested man after you dump him.

No. 333418

set up your expectations beforehand / during foreplay. you could propose a game where he has to get a sound of pleasure from you. each time he does something good enough to make you respond, you advance in small steps past foreplay.
obviously you have to make sure not to play sexy during this or it will defeat the point (no making noises just to move things along or get a rise out of him). the less response you have if he's not really hitting the good spots, the better. framing it like a game will keep him from thinking you're just disinterested or suddenly got into dead-fish play.
just an idea. for the record I think it's ok to bring it to a screeching halt sometimes and go "I don't know how to tell you this but that feels like nothing" and kill his boner a little before he gets too far ahead of himself.

No. 333430

My bf is getting doughy and it's affecting my attraction to him. Idk what to do because he would never say that to me. In fact even when I was 25lbs heavier he didn't even notice. There are other things too and I'm scared bc he's probably going to not react well to this but seriously, enough is enough. I can't stand running my hands over flab instead of muscle. We've been together for a million years and he's dealt with a lotttttttt a lot a lot of sexless months from me so I feel extra shit but I can't help it. He's an absolute sweetheart who dotes on me in many ways but he needs to be brought down a peg or two. He needs to fucking take care of his hair and beard, it's really not cute to have a wild pube beard, and I'm seriously sick of dancing around the fact that I can hear him liquid shitting every day through the fucking bathroom door and he needs to do something about it. I'm basically at the point where despite all the really good things about being with this man, if he's going to throw a fit about this, I'm somewhat okay with this ending. Even if he is a non-pornsick, extremely kind, otherwise very attractive, super masculine man. It's do or die at this point because of how long we've been together and I don't think I can live the rest of my life with someone who doesn't take care of themselves and "procrastinates" for actual years. It would really fucking suck to break up because I'm a neet without him but I can't do it anymore.

No. 333449

"You're getting fat. Stop it"

No. 334058

How the fuck are you supposed to sext someone without cringing to death? What are you even supposed to say? I find it so awkward and always take ages to reply back because I can't come up with anything remotely sexy to say kek

No. 334063

I’ve never sexted and I never will

No. 334107

Gently moving/repositioning their hands should be enough to get them to pause and ask for a little direction or what you want them to do better. Ie if he’s rubbing your clit and you reach down and move his hand around a little bit he should take that as a hint that the current approach isn’t working and that you need something else. If he can’t take non-verbal hints then he shouldn’t be having sex kek.

No. 334127

I felt a similar way with my ex. A man taking care of himself and having some pride in his health and appearance is important. It says a lot about him and his priorities if he can't be fucked to do the bare fucking minimum to better himself, like having a shave, regular haircuts, taking care of his body etc.
Does he have drive in other aspects of his life? career? goals? Sadly a lot of the truly sweet guys are fucking lazy and unmotivated.

No. 334128

If you don't get anything out of it don't do it, you shouldn't force yourself to so anything sexual no matter what it is.

No. 334188

File: 1686247104307.gif (242.81 KB, 413x498, IMG_2027.gif)

Nonas please help me. Why am I still shy and self conscious about sex? I’m 32, my husband and I have been together for over a decade. Last night he asked why I never initiate sex and I’m realizing that the thought of doing that terrifies me and I don’t know why. He has worshipped the ground I walk on since we were young kids. He’s always telling me how attractive he finds me and I genuinely do believe everything he says. We have good sex but I know it could be so much better if I could loosen up. It’s like sex is the only thing in our relationship (in my whole life!) that I feel vulnerable and weird about.

I feel like such a loser asking this but is there like a course I can take or book I can read about this? I am a confident person in every other aspect of my life, I don’t know why sex makes me so awkward. My husband is hot, I know what he likes, there are so many things I want to do with him but I get so embarrassed over how I might look/sound and I just freeze up. For example even something basic like if he asks what I want during sex, I can’t get myself to say anything.

I still feel as shy as I did the first time I fooled around with a guy when I was 16. I was head over heels for him, desperately horny, and yet I was so uncomfortable and awkward that we had to turn taking my clothes off into a game. It took like half a hour for me to get undressed. The difference is back then I hated my body, I don’t have that problem anymore. So I don’t know why I’m still like this!

Sorry for the disjointed novel. The revelation that my attitude towards sex have barely matured in 16 years is really freaking me out.

No. 334199

My bf lost his erection while he was going down on me last night. I've struggled with no sex drive for most of our 10+ year long relationship and I recently regained desire, massively. He's gone through a lot of basically sexless years (yes, years) with me. Now I'm suddenly insatiable. We had already messed around and both came earlier in the day, and I know he was just trying to perform to satisfy me a second time because I really wanted it, which I appreciate, but he's always rock hard for me and it was pretty disappointing to realize he had gone somewhat soft. I swear I think he faked his orgasm too. He is normally very responsive so I'm thinking it was just because we were stoned as hell and had already fucked earlier. I stopped letting him go down on me a long time ago because back then I was uncomfortable with sex but now I really want it. I hope he didn't lose his hard-on because he doesn't like giving head anymore. He's also a lot less exciting and dominant (not in a kink way, in a regular, taking control way) now. We're getting sober again so I hope his virility comes back. Normally our "problem" is that we both cum super fast because we've been deprived for so long and we're crazy about each other, so this boner issue is taking me aback a bit. I hate that he tries to fake orgasms also because he'll cum, and then pretend he didn't, and then pretend he did a minute or so later. Like, it's fine dude we both know why you're cumming quickly, it's not your fault, we can work through it together. I don't even know what the point of this post is. I just want to have a lot of sex.

No. 334247

I mean it sounds like something a therapist could help walk you through better, but are there any experiences you can think of that may have given you a sense of deep shame in initiating? Did you have a very religious upbringing? Did you have a very hurtful rejection? I'd advise you to talk to a professional to figure out the root cause especially since you say you're not an insecure person overall, and then you can brainstorm ideas to help ease out of that habit.

Sorry to say but guys just lose erections sometimes, especially if you've already had one round and been going for a while. If you think he didn't enjoy it or find you attractive while eating you out then ask him directly but without being accusatory. Just something like "hey, do you have idea why you lost your erection during oral? Its fine if it was just a random thing but if there's something I can do better I want to know".

No. 334260

It's actually pretty common for guys to lose their erection if they're doing something that requires quite a bit of focus, like eating you out. I know it's disappointing but it doesn't mean he's not enjoying it.

No. 334263

If he has ED and also can't cum during sex I'd worry if he developed a porn addiction in those years that you didn't have sex at all. I mean, you must realize that he definitely substituted with that, right? Lots of men who are used to porn and masturbation have issues when it comes to real sex with a woman.

No. 334283

I appreciate the concern nonnie. He can definitely cum tho. My suspicion about the sex in question is that he may have faked it because he was tired and didn't want to be fucking anymore. I really wish he would have just said so, but I understand why he didn't. The other times I think he was faking was because he had actually cum minutes earlier but was embarrassed that it happened so fast.

>guys just lose erections sometimes, especially if you've already had one round and been going for a while
Thanks for the reassurance nonna. I'm pretty sure that's what it was. If it happens again I'm going to address it but I think I'll let this go for now.

Ahh okay, I actually didn't know this. Which is absolutely nuts because I've been with this man for 12 years. My sexual issues kept us from exploring much, and when we did fuck, it lasted like 5 minutes every time because we would both cum fast. Which has been great and satisfying… until now. I'm really excited and looking forward to developing our sexual relationship now that I have a sexual appetite again. I feel really bad for putting him through a sexless relationship for so long, especially now that I know how intense the desire is, and how disappointing it is when your partner isn't on the same level.

No. 334294

Out of curiosity, did you find a cause for having no sex drive for 10 years? Congrats with your rekindled desire! Wish you the best of luck and I hope it'll bring you joy and that you'll be able to work things through. I don't have any advice to offer besides what other anons said, it's pretty common for guys to lose their boners when focusing on something like giving oral.

No. 334308

Thank you so much for the encouragement and kind words nonna ♥ I could honestly scream it from the rooftops, I'm so overjoyed. I'm not really sure what caused it. I have tried every single type of birth control known to woman, so the hormones from those may have had something to do with it. I've also been really depressed– on multiple SSRI's, as well as dealing with some pretty heavy sexual shame from trauma, also a raging addiction to escape via marijuana. I swear to god what really kicked it off though was this estrogen cream I bought. I rubbed it in on my inner thighs and above my pubic area for a few weeks and suddenly, my sex drive came back. I'm willing to accept it may have been a placebo affect because I don't know the science of hormones and sexuality BUT I haven't been applying it for weeks and I'm still feeling a healthy amount of sexual desire. Maybe it kicked my brain into gear or something, idk! I actually asked my doctor about it and she wasn't convinced estrogen had anything to do with it so I really have no idea… Sorry I went off on a tangent lol

No. 334315

Ugh, I'm just scrolling by and I noticed a grammatical error in my post. Placebo effect*

No. 335042

How often do you have sex, how old are you, and how long have you been with your partner? I'll start.

>Once or twice a week

>3 years

I feel like I don't have sex as frequently as other people and it makes me self conscious. The attraction hasn't waned but we work opposite shifts and it makes the timing difficult to manage. I'm hoping he'll switch to a day shift in the future so we'll have a more reliable window of free time together but so far it doesn't seem to be possible at his job.

No. 335046

>Meanwhile, 30 to 39 year olds have sex 86 times per year, which equates to 1.6 times per week.


No. 335049

3 or more times a week depending how often I can see my boyfriend. We're in our 30s and been together 8 months.

No. 335073

>every day unless we are extremely tired or sick
>both 30
>together 4 1/2 years

No. 335783

How do I get more comfortable with sex?
>dirty talk is alien to me feels cringe
>due to upbringing preaching abstinence and etc I feel like I'm in the constant state of complete awareness the entire time, kills my mood
>sex sucks, but it's also my fault for not guiding my partner
>can't even vocalize what I want without feeling embarrassed
>can't look at them in the eyes, but they're also really awkward and they don't look at me
I don't even think this is nerves anymore, it's been 2+ years of this. I started to dread sex

No. 335788

i cant do hormonal BC for multiple reasons.
Anyone have experience with a non-hormonal iud?
How was it?
Im scared of side effects and the act of putting it in.

No. 335792

maybe try fapping what you want to improve first

No. 335794

Do you even want to like sex? If it's been like this for 2 years and nothing has changed maybe you shouldn't force yourself to have it.

No. 335812

>2-4x a week, depending on his schedule and stress (works in/studies healthcare)
>5 years

I used to be self conscious about the frequency going down from almost everyday to a couple times a week because i based most of my self worth on how sexually desirable i was, and i thought every man wanted sex every day, but i know he finds me attractive and i have worth even if we're not like rabbits.

No. 335815

I'm scared of it too, sounds like a painful bloodbath, which is why I'm sticking to condoms and cycle tracking, works wonders.

No. 335821

I've had the copper IUD for about three months now. Insertion sucked, and the ovulation and first period afterwards were incredibly painful, I'm talking a week or so where I could suddenly be incapacitated by the pain. I almost decided to remove it during that first period but I decided to stick it out and I never experienced that pain again. I have zero side effects now. So basically the first 6 weeks or so can be quite nasty but it does get better and for me the reassurance of not having to think about it for 10 years is worth it.
There were also some posts about the non-hormonal IUD in the birth control thread a while back, you might want to check those out.

No. 335878

No, not really. I don't really crave sex anymore, maybe there are rare times that I am in the mood but it fades really quick because he doesn't know how to initiate and I don't really vocalize it. I've gotten better at masturbating without feeling constantly disgusted at myself so I think this is something that just needs A LOT of work.

No. 335904

Are you at least attracted to your boyfriend? Attraction plays a very important role in libido, if he does nothing to you visually maybe it's time to call things off.

No. 336545

I need advice.

I'm 26 and can't into relationships because I'm repulsed by penetrative sex. The only time I almost went through with it, I felt indescribable existential horror and disgust and kicked the guy out.
I've tried to condition myself into liking penetration, used a dildo, yadda yadda. It doesn't work.
I don't have any sexual trauma. Never been raped. Not religious. Not gay. I just CAN'T.
Should I force myself into it and hope I eventually get the memo? It's seriously fucking with my love life (or lack thereof).

No. 336550

genuinely interested in what you're on about and how it's turning out for you nona

No. 336557

>Should I force myself into it and hope I eventually get the memo?
Whatever you do, don't do this. Believe it or not, I was able to be in multiple relationships without PIV. Funny enough, they all ended up being great lovers who focused entirely on my pleasure and not on their dick and they were all high libido. These relationships didn't work out for other reasons (I was the one who ended it), but the lack of PIV was never even an issue. My current long-term boyfriend now and I are planning to get married and we have an excellent sex life with absolutely no PIV. Also I should make it clear that I was upfront about this from the beginning, and all my partners knew that I would never budge on this. I also came off as somewhat sexually selfish, and it just worked out for me kek. Don't get into shit that you don't want to do, period.

No. 336660

>Nigel eats me out
>two days later have a mild UTI, hurts when pee but goes away on its own some hours later
>a week later have date again
>he eats me out
>hours later mild UTI AGAIN

What the heck is going on? Thats not the first time I got eaten out by him but it is the first time its annoying to pee and feel the need to pee even though the tank's not full. He has normal hygiene too and doesnt stank from his mouth or anything gross. Did any of you ever have this?

No. 336681

What do you do when you're terrible at sex because you're clumsy and stiff and have no feel for things? I do everything wrong.. can't even seem to do bjs due to severe overbite with huge teeth and tiny mouth, my teeth are always hurting it and my mouth literally instantly becomes very sore and painful. I have a new bf now and it's already a problem.

No. 336692

Does he go ass to vag with his tongue?

No. 336709

If it only lasts a few hours you might be allergic to something he ate or he might have eaten something that irritated you like spicy foods before he went down.
Oh wait sorry, I missed the first one being two days later. I guess it could still be some kind of allergy but that's strange… Does it always only last a few hours?

No. 336710

time to become a pillow princess

No. 336730

I need some advice, nonnies. My partner (we've been together for eleven years) has sexual fantasies about me cheating on him for a long time. He is incredibly turned on by the idea, begging me to do it every time we have sex. He doesn't want to be right there, he wants to come after that, he doesn't want a stranger to cum in me, he wants to cum in me himself after that. He promises me that then I can want anything (he knows that I want to go to New Zealand, it has always been my dream). I trust him on that. The problem is, I'm not that type. I can't imagine actually sleeping with someone else, I don't know how I would feel. I'm basically monogamous type, I simply don't have those dreams. As Rp, I can pretending it (It's cringe, I must cum first, then I can roleplay, for me this is turn-off), but he wants to make it happen. Please help nonnies, should I do it? Does anyone have any similar experience? Will it fuck my mind?

No. 336731

I need some advice, nonnies. My partner (we've been together for eleven years) has sexual fantasies about me cheating on him for a long time. He is incredibly turned on by the idea, begging me to do it every time we have sex. He doesn't want to be right there, he wants to come after that, he doesn't want a stranger to cum in me, he wants to cum in me himself after that. He promises me that then I can want anything (he knows that I want to go to New Zealand, it has always been my dream). I trust him on that. The problem is, I'm not that type. I can't imagine actually sleeping with someone else, I don't know how I would feel. I'm basically monogamous type, I simply don't have those dreams. As Rp, I can pretending it (It's cringe, I must cum first, then I can roleplay, for me this is turn-off), but he wants to make it happen. Please help nonnies, should I do it? Does anyone have any similar experience? Will it fuck my mind?

No. 336732

I need some advice, nonnies. My partner (we've been together for eleven years) has sexual fantasies about me cheating on him for a long time. He is incredibly turned on by the idea, begging me to do it every time we have sex. He doesn't want to be right there, he wants to come after that, he doesn't want a stranger to cum in me, he wants to cum in me himself after that. He promises me that then I can want anything (he knows that I want to go to New Zealand, it has always been my dream). I trust him on that. The problem is, I'm not that type. I can't imagine actually sleeping with someone else, I don't know how I would feel. I'm basically monogamous type, I simply don't have those dreams. As Rp, I can pretending it (It's cringe, I must cum first, then I can roleplay, for me this is turn-off), but he wants to make it happen. Please help nonnies, should I do it? Does anyone have any similar experience? Will it fuck my mind?

No. 336735

Sorry but your bf sounds like an incredibly porn addicted loser. Cuckhold fetishes like this stem from years of chronical masturbation while watching porn (aka two other people have sex) he wants you to have sex with someone else so he can jerk off to it like it's porn but with the added bonus of finally being able to have sex with his desired pornstar (you play this role in the fantasy) after the other guy is done. Do you not realise how sick in the head he is?

No. 336736

Don’t do it. It is a huge trap and will fuck with your mind.

No. 336737

Also tell him to reflect on how fucked up he is and get his shit together while you go to New Zealand by your self, when you get back he better never bring it up again if he wants you to stay with him.
By the way the fact that he doesn’t want the guy to cum in you means he won’t be able to handle you sleeping with another guy at all and he will have serious residual jealousy issues that will ruin your relationship

No. 336738

He 100% jerks off to weird NTR hentai daily. What a fucked up loser.

No. 336739

He thinks he knows what he wants until he gets it. Don't fall for it. Men don't know their own fucking feelings and he'll resent you for fulfilling his wish. >>336737 is 100% correct, this sort of thing maybe works with an FWB or a hookup, but it'll destroy your relationship.

No. 336745

I would be irreparably hurt, offended, and honestly pretty fucking disturbed if my bf even jokingly suggested I put myself through that. What a faggot

No. 336755

Thanks nonnies.I will not do it. Its probably time for some serious talk. Fuck, after those years, I thought it's just some stupid quirk that some men develops after years.

No. 336766

I don't mean to scare you nonny but i'd check to see if he has a reddit account or something else to see if he's been posting on those 'fuck my wife/girlfriend' subreddits just to make sure

No. 336775

Definitely not a normal male quirk, sorry nonna. I second that you should probably check his reddit and phone and reverse image search your pictures in case he is posting them online for other men to jerk off to as part of his fetish.

No. 336797

100% no. Simply because his English is total shit, plus all devices in or household are linked through my accounts. (except for Steam and similar ones where he doesn't even log out). Also he would have to log out me first. Bf is not secretive in these matters, he has never been ashamed in front of me about those things. His only acc is in his phone, which is the property of his employer. So he doesn't allow himself any stupid things there, at most he plays some shitty games on it.

That nonnie who wrote about it being some self-insert porn fantasy is propably correct. Bf looks at things like "natural tits, blowjobs etc., and then some particular porn actresses. I'llcheck on it.

No. 336804

He doesn't want that. And it seems most men don't.

No. 336808

At least just take bjs off the table since it hurts your mouth. To get better at sex… you have to know each other and go slow and actually be turned on. Don’t rush or be performative. Hard to advise you if you just say you’re clumsy… clumsy how? (Aside from the oral thing which it sounds like just isn’t fun for you and you should skip)

No. 336813

Nonas im looking for advice on how to lose my virginity… im a late-bloomer (early 20s, out of college) and when that horny time of the month hits, I really really want to have sex but im an anxious person when it comes to new situations and don’t know how I’d manage. Do I just download a dating app and make sure to get tipsy enough?? Do I tell him beforehand or hide it? Idk, I feel like virginity is either a fetish or a turn-off for guys so how do I find someone normal about it?
Alternatively… I’ve talked with my best friend about experimenting together (we’re both bisexual) and she has a lot more experience with men so would sex with her help me calm down about sex in general? I don’t think it’d affect our friendship badly but maybe some nonas think otherwise.

No. 336814

fucking your friend sounds pretty chill, I think you should do that.

No. 336815

Please elaborate on best friend situation. Is she possibly your ideal partner?

No. 336817

For sex, she might be.. For romance, no and she's anyway in an open relationship with her moid. She realized she was bisexual later and is slightly intimidated by girls so I'd be her first time with a girl too which is nice.

No. 336867

I'm very clumsy in general. My body never moves the way I want it to, I'm stiff, have no feel for things at all, no rhythm etc, like once with an ex I tried going on top and I physically couldn't move properly and his dick slid out. I know about hip movements etc but mine just won't move. When I try stuff I either do something too slow or soft or I hurt them or something goes wrong like being unable to even make the movements..

No. 336891

That sounds awful. Why are you so desperate to lose your virginity? Just wait until you find someone you genuinely care about that you want to have sex with. Trust me, sex is not good without feelings anyways.

No. 336919

Are you physically handicapped in some way? Or do you suspect it is a mental thing that makes you nervous? Are you drinking or taking anything to relax before sex that’s affecting you physically? You might consider talking to a professional/doctor based on what’s going on, it sounds like it’s causing you distress. In the meantime look for partners who are ok with taking the lead almost entirely and be open about that verbally from the start during the dating phase before things get physical. Sorry to say your new bf might not be a good fit for you, if the sex is bad it’s partially on him. It’s supposed to feel good for both of you even in missionary not just be about your ability to do different positions and perform specific acts. Or even if you liked the feeling of being on top but you can’t do it, you can recreate the approximate angle by scooting to the edge of the bed and having him standing up and going at it that way. He’s got to work with you here whatever your “handicap” is

No. 336922

Idk that I’m desperate and I don’t feel ashamed of being a virgin, sex is just something that I’ve been wanting more recently (like every time I masturbate, I think it’d feel better with someone else). I’ve been ‘waiting’ for that person like you suggest but I’m honestly really antisocial and haven’t liked any of the guys who’ve hit on me back so I doubt that’s happening anytime soon. At this point, I can’t imagine myself in a relationship and I just wanna get comfortable/confident with having casual sex. I’d definitely stop if masturbation turns out to be better lol but for now, still looking for advice on how this works

No. 336942

>like every time I masturbate, I think it’d feel better with someone else
Lol you will be so disappointed by sex. Its really underwhelming. The only way its worth doing is with someone you love.

No. 336987

How do I make myself clearer lol? I'm not looking for a loving connection, I just want to be horny with another person. That's not enough for you, cool, but for me even just kissing someone while I got myself off would be better than doing it alone cuz of the physical intimacy. All I'm wanting advice on is calming my first-time anxiety (that I'd feel regardless of who it is) and on talking about virginity.

No. 336988

Not unless you wanna dominate somebody. Then feelings do not matter anyway

No. 336992

I'm just telling you none of that stuff is good without being in love. Having a scrote slobber all over you is just nasty if you don't have feelings for him and PIV feels like nothing unless you find just the right guy. Sex with strangers is awful and disappointing, but you gotta make your own experiences I guess. Its not like in the movies or fanfics you are reading.

No. 336995

>PIV feels like nothing
I'm sorry you can't cum from PIV.

No. 336996

>none of that stuff is good without being in love
But from my (limited) experience, it is? So long as I'm attracted to someone physically and they don't annoy me, I like being touched and turning them on is a turn on for me. I don't get how PIV hinges on it being with the "right guy" when just physically, my orgasms are better with clit and vaginal stimulation together. Or even simply that another persons hand is more intense than my own. I feel like my expectations are totally reasonable and, because I'm not 15, I'm not basing off fiction.

No. 336999

I'm just very weird physically I guess lol I don't know how to describe it any better than I did.. like idk I just can't make any movements/no feel/stiff etc. I already told my bf I don't think we're sexually compatible but he thinks these things might change. I don't know, I've always been like this, just terrible at physical things. Missionary didn't work because he couldn't even get it in lol like it just slid past and went towards my butt. He's very experienced so I don't know why he fucked that up.

No. 337002

If anything his feelings for you are more important since he would be more likely to care about your pleasure if he cares about you overall

No. 337014

Most women can't. At least 60% iirc.

No. 337039

>couldn't even get it in lol like it just slid past and went towards my butt.
lol why are men so bad at putting it in? I feel like this is a common issue. I can't stand when a guy is bad at this part, they're usually bad at other things too because they have a poor understanding of female anatomy.

No. 337196

i can't believe it's a common experience. i've had this happen with a guy too where he just didn't know where the vaginal entrance was. i regret sleeping with him so bad but it is what it is.

No. 337199

How did you even sleep with him? I really don't know what to do when missionary is his job and on top I'm just physically unable to do.

No. 337252

It's more like 80%

But that's the thing. You don't have experience. You imagine it through a porn/romance movie filtered view that has nothing to do with reality. Most men, like 99%, are terrible lovers. They won't even find your clit if you point it out to them and they couldn't eat pussy good if their life depended on it with a gun to their head. Idk if a woman would be better, but you said the woman you want to do it with also has no experience so I doubt it. You gotta make your own experiences and choices but prepare to be disappointed.

No. 337344

Do you pee after every encounter? Even if its just tongue or hands you should still pee immediately after to help prevent UTIs. Other than that he doesn't have to be noticeably disgusting to give you a UTI with oral, mouths in general are bacteria factories. You can try to take a cranberry supplement to make your urine harder for bacteria to take hold in but other than that it might just be a thing you get used to?

Don't indulge any fetish you aren't comfortable with. Tell him you aren't comfortable with this and explain that maybe his fantasy is better off a fantasy. The only way to have complete control over this scenario like he wants is by hiring an escort or a bull and again, if you are not comfortable with and even excited by this idea don't even bother.

No. 337414

I do understand these points and it's why I feel weird about bringing up virginity to any casual partner. I'm anyway just gonna experiment with my friend first till I'm a lil more comfortable with that kind of intimacy. She's not a stranger to me and what I want is to get used to being intimate with someone. Idc about her inexperience, I think it's fun that we can both learn what makes another woman feel good through each other.

Also do get that sex might be marginally better orgasms (or worse ig) for a lot more risk. I probably implied it but I'm not looking to jump on the first guy I see. If he seems like a creep, loser, or asshole then I have no issue stopping it right then. I relent, it'll probably suck a lot at first regardless cause idk what I'm doing, what he's supposed to be doing, can't communicate what I want nor know what I want, etc etc. But like, I'm still gonna do it lol so this "just don't, there are no respectful men" advice is ass.

No. 337536

File: 1687672123378.png (2.98 KB, 124x23, pepe.png)

how do you and your bf develop a sexual… pattern or whatever?
my bf and i live together and on top of being busy often we get tired and we're both easily distracted and we dont really have a high libido but lately we've been talking about wanting to have sex more and every night we'll push it off because we're like, lazy idk. or we'll be super into something else where we just can't get in the mood. we get lost in our thoughts, lost in the sauce. no fucking idea how people have sex regularly. is this an autist thing? we've been living together for years and are best friends but it's like we literally forget about sex idk

No. 337537

lost my virginity to a moid who didn't know until the last second. please, PLEASE be open and tell him. it also extra hurt when he told me later "yeah i dont really like virgins". i hope he… is destroyed in minecraft(alogging... in minecraft)

No. 337844

Is it normal for moids to feel more stimulated from handjobs or oral than from actual piv?
I've noticed that my bf is a lot more responsive when I jerk him off or give him oral compared to when we have sex, like he moans more, seems more physically stimulated and overwhelmed, and he cums faster too. Now with oral this doesn't really surprise me, but I've never seen a moid react this intensely to a handjob, he goes crazy for it. It's not like I go very fast or grip it tightly at all either, so it's not a deathgrip sort of thing. For me personally piv is the best part of sex, and previous bfs always came the fastest this way while it took more time and effort for them to cum just from a handjob or oral. So how common is this? I guess maybe it could be that piv requires more focus on movement instead of just laying back so that could be it? It's making me a little insecure because I want piv to feel just as good for him as it does for me. For the record, he does visibly enjoy piv and doesn't take forever to cum from it or anything, it just seems less intense comparatively.

No. 337847

Do you regularly kiss and show non-sexual physical affection? For me and my bf, we'll be sitting on the couch or lying in bed just kissing or cuddling a bit, which will escalate into making out and caressing each other, which then turns both of us on and naturally escalates into sex.
Obviously kissing and such doesn't always turn into sex and there's no set expectation from either of us that it will, but the fact that we regularly show physical affection during most days creates a lot of 'moments of opportunity' for things to escalate. So for example we always kiss and cuddle a bit when we're laying in bed and about to go to sleep or just woke up. Those moments work the best imo because you're not distracted mentally by any other activity.
That being said, if both your libidos aren't that high then it's okay to not have sex that often. Why do you want to have more sex? Is it because you'd really like to, or because you feel like you should? Plenty of relationships work just fine without sex being a huge part of it.

No. 338437

How do I learn to sext when I can't come up with anything to reply with? I don't do sexual acts to others irl because I'm horrible at sex and due to physical issues can't give bjs or anything. I like hearing what my bf would do to me but I literally can't think of anything to say back so it gets awkward and dies. Do we just give up? I want to have sex with him so bad and I want those texts :((do not use emoji/ emoticons)

No. 338439

sexting is so arkward lol i feel you nona. i jusr cant do it

No. 338564

I mean everyone has their different "spot". my current sex partner goes absolutely nuts when I stimulate his nipples, but all the other guys I've been with have been meh on it or absolutely do not touch types.

No. 339524

Anons please help me out.

I've been with my boyfriend for about five months and we have great sex. He's attractive, attentive, he loves to finger me and eat me out, etc. I just can't fucking cum! I get really, really close to cumming but I can never do it!

It's been making me kind of bummed and then I figured out that, when I masturbate, I will orgasm with my thighs tensed and pressed together 99% of the time. I can come with my legs spread but it's VERY weak.

HOW CAN I REMEDY THIS? I can't believe I trained myself to only cum with my legs crossed, that's so insane to me. How tf can I cum with my legs spread?? How can I train myself to not have to rely on tensing and pressing my thighs together??? I started masturbating like that because it got me off very quickly but now I just can't do it any other way. What the fuck. Help me out please nonnies. I want to orgasm with my bf.

No. 339525

You're going to have to un-train yourself. There's no other way. Maybe have him finger you from behind with your thighs pressed together, just for starters?

No. 339527

File: 1688930919441.png (Spoiler Image,26.62 KB, 1001x651, flat-doggy.png)

Just chose a position where you can press your legs together? Like you laying on your side and him spooning you from behind or you laying on your belly (picrel) or instead of spreading your legs when you are on your back just keep your legs closed and put them on his shoulder or pull them up to your chest.

No. 339582

I don't have an exact answer to your question, but I can tell you I had, and have always had, the exact same issue. When I first started masturbating, I did it in a weird way where I'd lie on my stomach, ball my hand into a fist, put it under my clit and dry hump it over my clothes. I genuinely think doing this for years made my clit less sensitive, and that combined with sexual trauma makes it VERY hard to finish when I'm with a partner. With my current bf, we've managed to solve that issue by finding a specific position that works for us, and I use a vibrator. In the times we have sex I'm essentially learning to relax my body as I can feel myself about to climax, and once we're comfortable doing it this way, we're going to try something similar, but different. I'd say find ways to sort of replicate how you get off on your own like >>339527 said, and don't be afraid to use a vibrator to help you out!

No. 339644

You may be too involved in your own head. If you're thinking about orgasming you're not going to and psyching yourself out. It's easier than than done in practice but you should try to relax and enjoy what your BF is doing to you without expecting to orgasm. Close your eyes and enjoy the present and all of the sensations in the moment. Cumming for women is such a mental thing and our thoughts can be our worst enemy while having sex

No. 340574

I have found myself in the potential position to fulfill a long time fantasy of being with two men at the same time. I've known both for years, and have had intimate experiences with both. One has been angling to get me into this situation for a long time. I'm insanely attracted to both. We're in the negotiation stage, I guess. I'm pretty inexperienced on the whole and I have a lot of questions I feel weird asking (I know I should be asking them, I have to an extent.. I'm working on it).

I'm a ridiculous researcher so I've started reading and watching stuff. I am so worried now that I'm not hot enough to pull this off. I've gained weight in recent years and while that is a source of insecurity, it's made other insecurities worse. The last time I was with either has been over a year ago and my body has changed since then.

I know I'm inviting all sorts of judgement, and I'm not sure I'm going to do it anyway…but since it's become a real possibility I can't stop considering it.

Anyone have any advice? Experience? Resources? Shaming? Anything, really…

No. 340592

If you are currently single and have the opportunity to fulfill this fantasy, I’d jump on the chance. You’re gonna be nervous no matter what, but ime once you are there and stuff starts happening adrenaline takes over and you go with the flow.

It’s cliché but I think enthusiasm and confidence outranks a few extra pounds or whatever your source of insecurity is, especially when you are having a threesome. If it’s just a hook-up most guys aren’t that nitpicky, they’re just happy to get some, especially if this is a fantasy they also share. All my threesomes have been spur of the moment, but because you’re in the position of getting to plan things in advance, have the talk about what turns you on and most importantly boundaries. A common theme I’ve heard with threesomes gone wrong is that one of the parties feels left out sexually or emotionally, so keep that in mind. Also accept that things can get awkward after the fact, but that’s the case with any sexual encounter. I hope it'll be a fun experience for you nona!

No. 342348

We always have the same thing going on, going to bed and kiss etc. I’m shy and unsexy I don’t know how I could do it differently but I desperately want to change it up a little bit. Please help… is there maybe a thing I could do at the dinner table to heat things up or so?

No. 342362

i say go to sleep completely naked. it's really refreshing. it is shocking at first, but you get pretty comfortable because your sleep throughout the night is extra comfy.

No. 342470

This is my first day on this website I am in fucking awe. Thank you for sharing this LOL

No. 342473

Nonnie I won’t lie you are very lucky that your bf didn’t leave your ass when you asked that. Say alhamdullilah. Next, don’t listen to anyone on this site telling you that your bf is being weird about it. Just fuck your husbando (in your case, spongebob) using the power of imagination like everyone else.

No. 342474

File: 1690610245876.jpeg (180.37 KB, 828x995, 4DBBC1AC-F467-4C33-94FC-465582…)

Suggestion: maybe show your bf clips of Ethan Slater from the spongebob musical. It might help him get into character.

No. 342592

File: 1690693845464.png (40.6 KB, 571x384, 5634789265.PNG)

Do any nonnas here have experience avoiding pregnancy via natural/holistic methods?
I know it's farfetched and crazy to want unprotected sex without using more conventional contraceptive methods (like pills, IUD's, etc), but I'd still like to know if there's other natural and healthier alternatives methods worth looking into.Even if it's not a 100% guarantee and maybe 60%-80% effective at best.

No. 342595

spermicide is personally my fav

No. 342597

Could you tell me more about it, please? Is it like a lube?

No. 342603

File: 1690707740583.png (584.19 KB, 1080x1153, Screenshot_20230730-050415.png)

I feel like my advice is going to get you pregnant, but I've been using the rhythm method and pull out successfully for eleven years. Personally, I use this chart but I'm more strict about it. My cycle is almost exactly 28 days and 12 hours, but I only allow him to come in me on days 23 through 5. Otherwise he pulls out, but he also has really great control and there's never been an accidental ejaculation. Don't have vaginal sex or frottage if he's ejaculated within the last four hours and always make him pee beforehand.
It has risks. Most people use pull out or the rhythm method incorrectly, so it has an almost 20% failure rate. But if used correctly, it has a 4% failure rate. Also, there are great fertility tracking apps, but they openly sell your information to advertisers and to the government, so if abortion may become illegal in your state, avoid them.
If you're looking for hormone free, have you considered lamb skin condoms or a diaphragm?

No. 342607

>lamb skin condoms
First time I hear of those. Sounds so disgusting.

No. 342622

Look into fertility awareness method (secular)/ natural family planning (catholic so they don’t use condoms during fertile windows). You track your cycle and ovulation through taking your basal body temperature at a consistent time every morning upon waking up and observing your cervical mucus to confirm ovulation. Taking charge of your fertility book and the sensiplan method are two that you can learn on your own without instructors and ones like the Marquette method you have to learn with instructors. I can’t attest to how well it works for unprotected because I use condoms and just observe my cervical mucus to “confirm” ovulation as a backup method to avoid pregnancy but there’s a lot of people who have lots of success with just this method and combining it with techniques such as pulling out. It’s recommended that you use protection while you chart your cycle the first three months so you can understand your body and mitigate risk.
The rhythm method that the other Nona mentions tends to assume ovulation around day 14 but women can ovulate at any day in their cycle, and it’s different for everybody and even different between cycles. This is why so many people fuck up rhythm method because they’re not diligent enough and just assume ovulation at this one day or have unprotected sex before ovulation which can be risky as sperm can survive in the fallopian tubes for up to five days.
It’s definitely a lot of research but imo it’s worthwhile, even just as a way to get more in tune with your body and your cycles and to learn about women’s fertility patterns. There’s a subreddit where you can read about other people’s experiences and see what charting your temperatures look like too. FAMnNFP is the name of it. FAM is highly effective if you take the time to learn it and put in the effort.

No. 342683

Sorry if this sounds scrote-y but how often do most women masturbate/get horny? When I smoked weed, I was horny a lot and would masturbate pretty much daily, even SSRIs couldn't keep me down. But I stopped smoking and my libido vanished. It's been 2 months and I just haven't felt like masturbating. I never get horny enough to justify the effort. I don't want to sound insane asking my female friends if this is normal. Was I seriously only horny because of weed? Are some women just like this?

No. 342685

I go through different phases tbh. I just got out of a period of around 5 months where I was doing it every single night, now it's more like every couple weeks. In my experience my baseline horny meter is always in either feast or famine mode kek and the settings on it last a while in either case.

No. 342687

I've done pull out method for 5 years now and I still havent gotten pregant but that only works if you have a moid with good self control

No. 342694

I get off twice a day, and it's been like this for years. Can't speak for other women obviously.

No. 342695

omfg i thought I was the only one. No idea why weed makes me so horny

No. 342700

Only once a month for me and the urge isn't even strong enough to masterbate. I'm not on any medications or drugs either.

No. 342794

File: 1690858472051.jpeg (431.35 KB, 1179x1783, C4C72161-6C49-4EA8-B7DB-FA9F65…)

Nonnas I need some advice, my bf has stopped doing foreplay and pretty much anything to get me off during sex except for thrusting hard into me. Like he will go in when im hardly wet and just use his spit to force it in. Anyways how do i train him to care more about me during sex? He thinks just because he has a big D that he doesnt need to do anything else. I give him head all the time and caress his body with kisses. I told him hes getting lazy and he admitted to it then just goes back to being lazy after a day. Im honestly just so sick of men at this point and about to become a political lesbian.

No. 342797

I don't masturbate because I don't have privacy or time to do it and I barely know how to do it anyways. But I have strong libido and feel horny everyday, before and during and after my period, night and day, even in my sleep I have sexual dreams and wake up wet and horny. Might be my hormones being fucked up though. So maybe check your hormones? Maybe weed affected them? But I don't know anything about weed. Might be a psychological thing for you though, where weed made you relaxed or something so you got easily horny, but without it you get tense or stressed out so you don't get horny maybe?

No. 342798

Please say sike. You could also just, not have sex with him if he doesn't give a shit about how you feel? If he's not even accommodating enough to make sure you're wet enough and tries forcing it in dry then just don't have sex. He could end up hurting you, and then make you feel worse. Tell him to instantly stop if he's about to put it in but you're not ready for it. Tell him to do what you need to be able to be wet enough, otherwise you're not interested in having sex. If he throws a hissy fit, so be it. You shouldn't force yourself to tolerate him jamming it in if he can't make sure you're comfortable. Break up if he keeps being an asshole about it.

No. 342822

I do it about every other day depending on what else I'm doing that day but I've also had phases where it was at least once a day.
Interestingly enough I also notice that weed makes me hornier, personally I think it's largely because of the tactile effects. Like my body gets more sensitive to touch and something as minor as fabric sliding across my nipples as I move can be enough for my brain to go into horny mode.

No. 342852

Don't give him head unless he does it to you. Don't have sex with him at all unless he changes. What an inconsiderate fucker, literally.

No. 342857

does he even like you? that's the behavior of someone who literally doesn't give a shit about you. tell him to go jerk off in the shower if he's not going to get you off.

No. 342858

I've had the same problem with an ex. It didn't get better. He didn't care about me, I stayed for 4 years and he never got me off once. He'd also get really passive aggressive and mean when I finally gave up and stopped sleeping with him. I have a feeling your moid would do the same thing to you. I'd start looking for a way out if he doesn't show any change.

No. 342870

Women in relationships with men should just stop giving unreciprocated oral completely. Even if you are one of those who genuinely enjoy it, your scrote will just take it for granted and expect you to only get off from getting him off, if he even cares at least a little in the first place.

No. 342872

Agree 100%. Also, you should definitely see if a guy is willing to just do foreplay/body worship/whatever you fucking like and no PIV, kek. This is how I've exclusively ended up dating guys who make me orgasm multiple times every time without asking me to get them off or do pornsick shit. If you're selfish in bed you'll land guys who actually care about your pleasure because the idiots who want to you use as a fleshlight will fuck off immediately. Once he's proven to give a shit about your pleasure then you may give him oral or whatever.

No. 342874

Related question but how frequently do nonpornsick men masturbate? My assumption was once daily or at least more frequently than 5 times weekly but google suggests most adult men masturbate 1-3 times weekly… I mean thats self-reported so it could easily be skewed but that seems like a lot less than most adult men I've been with. Even I usually masturbate more frequently than 3x weekly…

No. 343133

Nonas how concerned should I be about STIs? From what I know the last time my bf had sex was 3 years ago and he had 5 partners if that matters. I don't have any experience and I would like to change that, but I'm a bit of a hypochondriac. Obviously I know that condoms help lessen the risk of infections, but what in case of cunnilingus? lol

No. 343136

I don't usually want to encourage hypochondria but in this case you should get him tested for all the usual culprits before you engage in unprotected sex if you don't want to take risks. You can get a variety of STIs from receiving cunnilingus (herpes most notably but a lot of the others too); also make sure he has good oral/facial hygiene so he doesn't give you a UTI from a germy mouth or a dirty beard.

No. 343150

File: 1691104472924.jpeg (64.57 KB, 640x732, 77BE85D0-7ED9-41A5-9E93-142FFE…)

Update I told him i need to be more ready otherwise ot hurts and he said we have no time, then he goes back to normal dry rubbing my clit it was so boring i fell asleep. I tried to tell him again this morning and he doesnt wanna try anymore because ive been blue balling him (saying no to sex if im not wet”. He also said women dont need to nut during sex and its not his fault if i dont nut during PIV its my own fault since he “fucks me so good”. Nonnas I just want to feel wanted….

No. 343151

I don't know the full context of this but this alone makes me think it's better to breakup with him and either find a better man (or a woman if you're bi) or just staying single and masturbating because it sounds more productive than what he's doing to you.

No. 343152

Um yeah break up with him. He just wants you as a fleshlight. You can’t train a guy to care about your pleasure and feelings, the fact I see so many women saying “how do I get him to understand this normal thing or care about me” is scary. Giving pleasure and foreplay should be something your partner actually wants to do and is happy to provide. That should be the bare minimum jfc moids are so selfish. We’re better off with AI boyfriends honestly.

No. 343153

No. 343169

It’s not hypochondria to be worried about someone having STIs from previous partners. It’s just safe sex. Have him get tested and if it gives you peace of mind, get tested too. You can get some STI testing done during your regular pap smear and pelvic exam or you can get a full panel done. There are places in the US that do it for free or low cost. And if you haven’t already, get your HPV vaccine. HPV is currently undetectable in males and you can get it from oral. I don’t want to scare you, but it’s best to protect yourself and always get tested in between partners. You deserve safe fun sex where you don’t have to worry about your health being risked nona. This nona >>343136 has good advice too.

No. 343184

I'm gonna a-log, fucking hell. I didn't know I could feel second-hand disrespected lol. this guy is a knob, kill him and hide the body he's a waste of space! (just kidding)
leave him and never look back.

No. 343199

this is more of a sexual health question. This is blunt because I'm embarrassed: I noticed that when I do a butterfly pose in yoga the stretch on my inner thighs it makes me feel sexually excited. I'm someone who usually struggles to feel genuine arousal. Would it benefit me sexually to work on muscles in that area?

No. 343201

File: 1691157482656.jpg (149.94 KB, 668x1045, image.jpg)

I've noticed that too. It can be informative to know what positions are pleasurable and I find the general placement of my legs is very important for orgasming but other than that I can't offer any insight. I swear parts of my clit are deeper than normal and go all