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File: 1582955241257.jpg (28.98 KB, 640x480, Cookie_Monster_Amor.jpg)

No. 133562

Like the title says.
Previous Thread: >>102887

No. 133563

So, I just tested out using a vibrator for the first time but I can't say it really did much for me. It seems like every time I masturbate the pleasure is minimal at best. Am I broken?
My clit is fairly small, so could that be why?

No. 133566

Vibrators have never really done anything for me either anon. I could feel something, but I don’t get the hype. I have a pretty small clit as well, could be it.

No. 133572

Maybe it is a clit size issue

I'm one of those losers that thought they were trans for a while and the one great thing to come from a few months taking testosterone was a larger clit that sticks out. I come mad easy now, whereas I had a lot of difficulty before

No. 133583

i'm typically submissive but have wanted to try something different for a while now. i was nervous, but managed to be a little more dominant last night. thankfully bf didn't think it was weird, enjoyed it, and wouldn't mind more instances of me taking the lead. any ideas for how i can do this? i don't think he'd like the kind of subby stuff i'm into (i like being lightly slapped, bit, choked, etc.) so i'm not sure what to do. i want to be this super sexy bad bitch that pushes him against the wall while telling him to drop his pants, but i don't think i have the confidence. like, i feel a little silly trying to act like that, you know? i'm just not used to it, but i really want to be

No. 133584

Honestly, most guys are switches rather than straight up dom. He clearly likes what you're doing to him. Just do the stuff he does to you, if you actually want to. He can handle it. He is a man, not some delicate flower you need to be gentle with.

No. 133586

if you're worried about being awkward or looking silly just own it and don't try to be overly serious to overcompensate. just approach it with an experimental attitude rather than making it a performance or character. laugh together if you need to. then when your throat is cleared so to speak, it'll probably be easier to get into it unselfconsciously.

No. 133587

Damn. I just want to feel good for once dammit.

No. 133589

this is making me wonder about my clit size now. is there really that much difference in size from clit to clit. how small is small? mine is completely hidden under the hood, is that small?

No. 133590

iirc the smaller the area, the more concentrated the nerve endings, so small is good in this case.

No. 133609

as someone with a small hooded clit, it's really hard to find and is a waste of time finding it. it gets awkward when having other people touch you. not great for being sexual with other people imo.

No. 133617


Idk. My clit is big-ish, I have slightly heightened testosterone levels and have a high libido and intense orgasms. I have no idea if outer clit size plays a role in this but I don't think small clit = more intense.

No. 133618

ayrt, i dont think it necessarily does either. mine isn't sensitive at all and it's small.

No. 133619

that isn't how it works for this. most of the organ is buried so the part that's small is the exposed part, not the entire thing. smaller means less exposed nerves.

No. 133628

thank you anons, i went for it and we both had so much fun. like holy fuck it was hot

No. 133641

If vibrators don't do anything for you I have some advice, hopefully it helps? For me indirect vibration is what feels best. If I was putting a fast-moving vibrator directly against my clit I'd lose sensation FAST and therefore it'd just not feel good.

So I ALWAYS keep my underwear on, use the lightest levels of vibration, and kinda the head around. I use a wand type too, don't have much luck with any other kind. Make sure you are also really relaxed, of course, and don't be in a hurry. What feels best for me is vibrator low, underwear on, and vibrator not directly on my clit, but to the side pressed against the lip + hood. Getting pretty in depth here sorry, but I hope it helps.

Now if anybody has advice on how to cum from penetrative sex other than just use a vibrator at the same time, I'm all ears.

No. 133646

>Now if anybody has advice on how to cum from penetrative sex other than just use a vibrator at the same time, I'm all ears.
Foreplay. I can orgasm from penetration if I'm already really aroused from being teased by my partner.

No. 133679

I asked this in the previous thread, but it died so I'll go again: has anyone lost their virginity in a one night stand? if yes, how was it? and how does one go about finding a hookup? on tinder? in bars?

No. 133682

I did, it was with a tourist I met while hanging out with my friend at a park. Him and his friend approached us asking about the city and stuff, we talked for a while and then they invited us to their airbnb, they were cool so we went.

We had some wine and basically him and I then went to the bedroom, I wasn't exactly drunk just tipsy but I thought eh why not. I was 19 and I wanted to get it over with cause I was starting to get anxious about losing my virginity too late, plus I'm very rarely attracted to guys and he was hot, but most importantly I knew I'd never see him again because he was foreign. Tbh I don't think I would do it with anyone I knew I might see again.

Anyway, I told him I was a virgin and he didn't mind (I don't understand why some guys do) so we just kind of did it. It was awful and didn't even last a minute, hurt a little bit but no bleeding or anything. The guy wasn't the most polite but I didn't really care, left almost right after.

In the taxi home I was excited that I finally did it but the next day I was disappointed that it was so underwhelming but thought it was just cause it was the first time. Looking back it was a pretty shitty experience that I don't like to remember but I'm glad I did it then cause I don't know how long it would have taken me to lose it otherwise. Felt kind of empty for a while afterwards but got over it after having sex with a couple other guys. I gotta say that not being a virgin gave me a lot more confidence around guys hitting on me.

However I always knew I wanted to lose it in a one night stand. I wanted to be "experienced" when I would have an actual relationship for whatever reason.

No. 133695

What does it feel like to actually climax via PIV? I normally feel really good, but not quite 'there'… then I'll typically get too sensitive to continue, and have to stop. I've managed to with a wand, but it was a clitoral orgasm combined with g-spot focus, not vaginal… help

No. 133709

when climax from PIV i can't stop climaxing multiple times in a row. i feel like a melting candle. It's a lot different than clit orgasm but still really good.
I was once on a psych med that the only way i could climax was from penis in vagina intercourse and i'd come in like less than a minute.
my bf felt like a sex master even though it was just my brain chemicals were whacked out on that med.

No. 133716

I'm anxious over the stupidest shit. I'm a whole virgin. I wonder, when you do a blowjob/handjob and you don't want to swallow/get in on your face (the idea of a blowjob is barely comfortable to me, I don't know, seems so disrespectful for myself? lmao idk) what do you do? Like, where do you point his dick when he cums. This seems so awkward when I imagine it, like does he unload on the ground? Into your hands? And what, do you just go clean them off? Lol sorry, but it's all just so awkward to imagine. I feel like it would be rude to just go immediately wipe his cum off like if it's disgusting or it breaks the mood, but what else you gotta do, just hang there with it

No. 133724

it takes some getting used to, but it's just sooo much easier to swallow it. i don't like the texture of cum cause it's kinda sticky, so getting rid of it is like…paramount lol

No. 133732

Or just don't take cum in your mouth full stop. I find it unpleasant so I set a boundary around that. Men could do with learning that we're not here to endure unpleasant shit just for their egos to enjoy it.

No. 133735

Ask a classic "Where do you want to cum, babe?". Easy. If he says mouth and you're like nope.jpg, try something like "I think it'd be really hot if you came on my tits / ass / feet / anywhere but my hair"

No. 133738

Easiest is to aim it at your chest, then if he's nice he'll get you something to clean up with, sometimes you have to ask. I only swallow when I'm really into the guy. Keep it special lol

No. 133745

You don't have to do blowjobs at all if it feels uncomfortable/degrading to you. Never agree to anything you're uncomfortable with just to please your partner.

No. 133750

Vibrators dont work for everyone. For me they only make my crotch feel numb. I also hate electrical toothbrushes because they do the same to my face lmao. But you could try different types and settings.

This >>133745 Sex is to be enjoyed by both not just the male. But if the cum is the issue you can just switch to intercourse or have a paper towel ready or something.

I come from penetration the easiest on a position which is like missionary but my legs are on the guys shoulders.

No. 133761

AYRT. It's a deep, intense full body orgasm. I tense up and then it's like a warm feeling of relaxation and contentment surges through me. It radiates from what feels like just below my belly button all the way down to my toes, through to my finger tips and the top of my head. It does have a downside though, afterwards my vag goes numb and I have no interest in having more sex.

No. 133962

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I don't know why this is, but I literally cannot do doggy style. Fingers, dick, sex toy - nothing will go inside me. It's like there's a huge wall blocking my vaginal opening or something. It's only in doggy style, otherwise I can put things inside me just fine. Sometimes my boyfriend's dick hurts a lot but I think it's because he's large and I'm really small. But doggy style hurts like hell, like unbearable. Is this normal just to not be able to do doggy style at ALL? Not even like I could force something inside me like that - I straight up don't think anything can enter inside me when I'm on all 4s or bent over. I suspect I may have mild vaginismus, could this be why? It makes me a bit insecure, I want to try new positions but.. I just can't.
Also, how do you introduce roleplay scenarios in a not super awkward way? I want to try some stuff with my boyfriend we used to fantasize about when we were long distance but I get so nervous and shy about it and am scared I'll look like a weirdo or it'll be awkward. I don't really have any sexual confidence after years of sexual abuse so I don't feel like I can just introduce a roleplay scenario to him without feeling weird about it. Is there an easier way to do it, or how should I go about it?

No. 133965

I had hardcore vaginismus for about 7 months, in which I couldn’t even get fingered in missionary so that’s where I’m coming from anon— it wasn’t until the fourth guy that i slept with, so roughly about a year and a half of sexhaving until I could do doggy style or even just be hit from behind while laying down or anything. Before I would literally be crying in pain trying to do it, and then it’s like one day it just went away! Sorry for the non-answer but I just wanted to let you know that’s completely normal in my experience, and it doesn’t mean that you’re doing something wrong or it’ll be like that forever.

No. 133969

Dif anon but I have vaginismus currently. I can only get 1 finger in with discomfort but every other position hurts like hell and it feels impossible to have him or a toy enter me without pain! I am so fascinated that you managed to get rid of it. Do you have at least a little idea of what made it go away? Did it stop immediately or did the pain lessen over time from repeated sessions?

No. 133977

> I suspect I may have mild vaginismus
> years of sexual abuse

Have you got any real help since the abuse? Getting help for that should really be your first priority before worrying about things like doggy or roleplay. It's very common to have this issue after abuse and it's a sign you need to get professional help to work through serious trauma.

Taking the pressure off when it comes to sex is probably best right now. Step back from sex and address the abuse.

No. 133985

Wow okay so I keep thinking that it went away by itself, but now that I think about it I actually did do some stuff to make it go away. I used to have an involuntary reflux to clench my legs together during sex, and to get myself out of it I would just try to think about sex, just when I was sitting in my room or whatever, and try to stay relaxed and keep my legs open. I also started masturbating with a warm washcloth in the shower, again just trying to relax and be gentle with myself and not be upset if it didn’t work. Since it’s all completely mental, I just had to really really work myself up to finally having sex, feeling really comfortable with my partner at the time, and being able to relax during sex. Taking things one step at a time (one finger, two fingers, missionary, cowgirl, then finally doggy) over the span of about a year as I became more comfortable with myself, having sex and the guys I was with. Lots of lube and being open about what’s happening instead of being ashamed if you can’t do whatever the guy is asking really helps too.

No. 134051

hi anons it's me again

since ive been more "on top" lately, what's something i can call myself/have my bf call me in bed? "mommy" is a definite no-go but shit like "mistress" or "master" makes me cringe too lol

No. 134054

Goddess ? or is that kinda cringe?

No. 134056

BOSS/rookie. I'm top management and he's entry level cutie.

No. 134087

supreme being

No. 134090

hit him with that 'mi amore'

No. 134102

so many top names are cringe unfortunately

is 'miss' too tame? it's formal if nothing else.

No. 134109

Lord God Queen Juicy Pussy

No. 134212

No. 134214

supreme leader

No. 134218

ntayrt but this had me creasing, gg anon

No. 134262

Just got out of a failed relationship that lasted years. I really want to be eaten out, it's been years…. but I've never had casual sex and I dont know if it's right for me. How often to guys eat girls out? Like is it rare or 50/50?

No. 134263

My current partner has a very "poke"-y style of kissing with their tongue.

Kind of like they don't know what they're doing. Absolutely fantastic with everything else, but is there any way to bring this up or guide them in the right direction w/ this?

No. 134603

My boyfriend was a virgin before me. I've finally got him to give me oral sex regularly but he's always so sloppy when he does it. I'll have drool all over myself and have to like mop it up with something midway and it absolutely digusts me. I've mentioned it like maybe he could try not to leave so much spit but I'm worried I'm discouraging him from doing it all. How to handle this? It's making me hate oral sex and I have always loved it with my other partners.

No. 134889

Tell him he'll have to lick sweaty ass and armpits every time if he doesn't stop being sloppy

No. 134894

Tell him that everyone else sucks their own saliva up as they go, virgin or not I would think that most people know not to mindlessly drool on a person and leave it there. His technique must be awful.

A book he might benefit from reading 'She Comes First' by Ian Kerner

No. 134895

> I've finally got him to give me oral sex regularly

Samefag but I realised that if he's just drooling and not instinctively sucking any juices back up it sounds like he has a squeamishness about your bodily fluids. He's going out of his way not to consume them while he's down there.

No. 134898

About to have my first time with a girl, but I have NO clue what I'm doing.
It's like realizing you've always tied your shoes from one angle so you get tripped up thinking about it from another.

Any pointers?
Also wanted to know more about women with smaller clits–the clitoris technically extends a bit inwards, so do women with small clits prefer more internal massages?

No. 135347

What does it feel like to have a penis inside you?
In the vagina thread anon commented about the difference between a dildo and a penis, specifically it "twitches inside you" and I'm in somewhat of a mindfuck on that

I'm old and nothing other than a tampon has ever been in me so I'm lost and curious

No. 135389

It pulsates with his heartbeat, it's warm, the skin is nice and smooth, it's strong (like in essence… obviously a hard dick is hard), it's filling in a wonderful way, you can feel his dick twitch while he cums, the feeling of the skin of his dick coming into contact with the skin/tissue of your vaginal canal is fucking amazing. Sometimes there is more friction between his dick and your vagina skin (condomless) and sometimes it's very slippery based on your and his lubrication levels, giving different sensations. I have never used dildos but the fact that his penis is body temp makes it very comfortable and pleasant. Hope that helps!

No. 135398

it's nowhere near as good as this anon says it is. >>135389 this is an exercise in creative writing in comparison to the actual experience.

No. 135403

Uhhh, yes it is as good as I explained in >>135389. That's literally my experience and feelings about it. Experiences are subjective, after all. I'm sincerely sorry you can't enjoy it as much as I do. Hopefully you've found your own ways to reach sexual fulfillment.

Also I want to rephrase this as it's confusing:
>Sometimes there is more friction between his dick and your vagina skin (condomless) and sometimes it's very slippery based…
Should say:
>When not using a condom sometimes there is more friction between his dick skin and your vagina skin and sometimes it's very slippery based on your and his lubrication levels, giving different sensations.

No. 135405

File: 1585767793408.jpeg (35.99 KB, 474x290, download.jpeg)

Double posting, sorry, but what feels so good about a real penis has a lot to do with the skin and texture. All the tiny ridges of his skin and all the tiny ridges of your skin slide against eachother and stimulate the nerve endings. As he pulls out pushes his dick in, those tiny ridges in yours and his skin catch eachother and create friction. So, it feels like a hard thing, yes, but wrapped in a thinner, soft thing, and the pull/push of the skin of the penis against your vag, and the firmness just underneath, is what feels much better than a dildo. And the warmth, I gather.
This is also why condoms are not idel for pleasure. It smooths out all the skin texture and it's not as nice-feeling.

No. 135407

File: 1585768956058.gif (Spoiler Image,1.83 MB, 582x296, 1972-look-at-that-pussy-grippi…)

Fully dick sperging out, but hopefully this is interesting to someone.
Note the skin at the base of his penis bunches and stretches as she's moving up or down. The vaginal muscles grip the penis too obv, but my point is the skin-to-skin contact, the friction it creates, and just how good that pull of skin feels (especially compared to a dildo). Although I'm sure there are dildos that have friction, it's the dynamic feeling of a sheath of skin over The Hard Thing that makes the experience especially delicious.


No. 135413

my point is that very few women find it anywhere near as pleasurable as you do, obviously. just look at your fag tier dick obsession and sperging. i don't know if you've been on hopped up on molly every time you've fucked a guy, but you'd be very hard pressed to find women this emotionally involved in the the texture of dick or the feeling of dick. maybe it's because i get very wet easily or idk but other than feeling it with my mouth/hands, the texture is hardly felt in your vagina. i don't think most women share your experiences with dick. most women can take or leave the penis, in actuality.

No. 135446

Oh, that sucks then. I didn't realize so many women weren't sensitive enough in their vagina to feel it like I do, I guess.
I focused on very minute details of the skin bc the original anon was asking what a real penis feels like, chill out and go get fucked… oh, wait, you won't enjoy it. No wonder you're bitter.

No. 135467

>fag tier dick obsession
It's actually called being straight, retard. Don't twist things around.

No. 135472

writing 3 bizarrely detailed, self admitted "full spergout" posts, only about dick, in a row (>>135407, >>135405, >>135403) is absolutely gay male tier.

No. 135512

regardless whether or not anon is a flaming homosexual, thank you for the responses
I've never thought about what it might feel like to have something inside me until now so it's bizarre to think about

No. 135535

Dyke detected

No. 135542

No. 135550

seconding this question. i have a bf of four years i'm planning on dumping for other reasons, but he also refuses to give head. would be great to find someone interested in it…

also agree. deep penetration rarely feels as pleasurable as that anon described. i can feel some pulsing and occasionally it will feel good, but i really need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. PIV is very overrated, IMO, in terms of actual pleasure. it can be mentally stimulating, however.

No. 135844

Faggot scrote

No. 135907

Id just like to ask how to give a proper deep throat? I tried that with my ex but his dick was small and he once said my teeth grazed around his dick so im worried about me giving head in the future. Id like to do better next time

No. 135928

How bad of an idea was sending nudes to my boyfriend of 5 years?

Because of lockdown we're not able to see each other and one thing lead to another. You can see my tattoo on a couple of them but the tattoo is usually covered (on my hip). He also sent me nudes back.

At first I thought idgaf if they end up anywhere but now I'm second guessing it. What's everyone's opinion on nudes?

No. 135929

I can't say for everyone else but like, I wouldn't trust a man with my nudes

unfortunately society still shits on woman who exposes her body if it ever get on the web sooooo

No. 135932

anons do you think asexuality is real?

I've always been confused about my sexuality, have had crushes on both genders. I was a late bloomer losing my virginity at 23 to a boyfriend I was never that into. I kind of enjoy sex acts that aren't penetration but only when I'm the one being acted upon. Even still, I don't get that much actual physical pleasure from it, don't get any physical arousal (literally have never gotten wet in my entire life) and have never had an orgasm. Even masturbating, if I come close to orgasm I actually find the sensation quite unpleasant. The only thing I really feel like I get out of sex is validation.

The main thing is that at no point during any crush- and I have them regularly- have I been actively sexually attracted to the person. I don't have any sexual desire for anyone, it just is the logical conclusion when two people like eachother so it ends up happening. I also have spaced out and ended up crying during like 70% of my sexual experiences.

I have always been trying to figure out why I'm like this and blame it on all sorts of different things but maybe I actually just don't like sex. I also feel like asexual is a fake tumblrina sexuality though so have never given it a proper thought.

No. 135933

i believe that someone can be asexual, but not pansexual, demisexual and all that bs. people don't take it seriously bc the term originated from tumblr, so maybe try not to label yourself as such and just say you don't feel sexual attraction.

No. 135935

Nah asexuality isn't a fake tumblr sexuality. People have been talking about it since long before tumblr sjw stuff. Andy Warhol was rumored to be asexual. I
I think it's real but it should be kind of a last resort diagnosis, especially these days. it can take a long time to develop a sexuality and people can have low/no libido for many reasons.

No. 135943

An extremely low or non existent libido, or just not liking sex is a real thing. Could be physical, psychological, just a personality trait, doesn't really matter, obviously there are people who just don't want to have sex. Asexuality is a special snowflake label though, and trying to obfuscate the definition of a sexual orientation to include things other than gay/straight/bi is obnoxious.

I guess it's just semantics but there's no doubt most people who use the label asexual are usually SJW genderspecial tumblrinas. Like, the sort of idiots who came up with 'gray asexual', asexuals who occasionally experience sexual attraction… aka by definition not a asexual. If you want to retain dignity and not be so limited by such dumbassery that you need to come up with new labels to accommodate every change in your sex drive, I'd refrain from using it.

No. 135944

>people don't take it seriously bc the term originated from tumblr
are you joking? tumblr could popularize it, but not come up with it as it's existed forever as >>135935 said

No. 135947

Idk if it´s true but I´ve read before that it´s scientifically proven like 1-2% of the world population is asexual. Maybe worth looking into if the scientific confirmation of asexuality is a real thing gives you piece of mind.

My own thoughts: If you don't like sex, you don't like it. It doesn't matter if that technically makes you asexual or not.

No. 135957

I've heard people describe asexuality as it's own spectrum where some masturbate, some don't at all, some are sexually active just for the sake of their partner and others are lifelong virgins. Those people all exist and it's just a matter of whether you want to use the label I guess.

I got married years ago with the understanding that me and my partner would never have sex and we didn't for those few years, I was happy signing up for no sex forever. I do masturbate. When my marriage ended (for other reasons) I ended up in a relationship where the guy believed sex was vital to a relationship. I really regret trying to keep that relationship alive by having sex. I could probably apply the asexuality label to myself but I'm just not a fan of labelling it.

No. 135960

I think my bf have some problems related to getting erected.Like,he does never fully get erected,it's always semi-soft,barely hard enough to keep the shape and he always uses his hand to guide his penis inside.And i can never get on top because his penis keeps bending,or if i somehow manage to put it inside i can never fully slide on it,his willy just stretches as i move.At the end of our time we are both satisfied but i'm wondering if this is normal,does anyone else experienced something similiar?

No. 135961

Not normal at all, he really needs to see a doctor about this

No. 136298

Does anyone have any experience with a porn addiction? Recent epiphany, realized I cannot come without porn. Beginning process of cutting porn out of my life, cutting back on masturbating for now - considering nofap.
I feel incredibly dumb for not realizing much sooner how deep in this hole I’m in. When I’m with a guy it’s good and then keeps getting better and then – nothing. Just a plateau. Only recently discovered this dilemma when I tried to masturbate without porn, just tried to focus on myself and the sensations felt; and experienced the same exact feeling - only being able to come after pulling up some porn. Thinking back, I must’ve coupled masturbating with porn exclusively, ever since I first discovered porn (like age 10?)
I guess I want to know if anyone’s gone through the same, how long it might take to rewire my brain? I want to fully enjoy sex with my s/o and be there in the moment. I don’t want my brain to be wired to need intense visual cues to come.

No. 136299

Why are you focusing on yourself and the sensations your feeling. I mean, that's a start but you ever try visualizing a scenario in your head that turns you on? That's what I do. I can do anything I want in my head and you can too. Just start thinking about some hot shit.

No. 136300

question. why are the only two options watching porn or focusing on yourself and the sensations felt? there's a lot between those two options. have you tried looking at a photo of a celeb you think is hot or watching a sexy music video? or anything that's sexy but not full on porn? tbh the idea that women should be able to come just from the touch with no object of desire always seemed like bullshit to me and like it was made up by men who are scared of women doing the objectifying for once.

No. 136303

Ikr. These anons better start smarting up. Wtf are they doing

No. 136304

hmm maybe I could've worded that differently but yes, thinking of hot scenarios/ppl I think are hot is included in what I try to do without porn. When I said focus on myself, I meant that more as focus by myself, in my own head with my own scenarios without porn.
For now I'm just trying to chill out I know if I focus too hard on the goal of cumming it's not happening. Guess I'm just really bummed out by it

No. 136306

got it. thanks for clearing it up. i thought you meant you were trying to literally think of yourself or think of nothing.
still, have you tried supplementing a fantasy with a photo or non porn video? i find it easier than just using my imagination alone

No. 136368

So I recently just started having penetrative sex for the first time. All is great. But is it normal to feel like a bunch of gas is bloating up and about to release during thrusts? I feel like if its inserted deep enough it almost feels like I am about to start passing gas and that would be super embarassing and I really want to avoid it. I am also wondering if it could be air inside my vagina itself but it mostly feels like its pushing through my poop tube. My other theory is that theres air trapped around my cervix and its bloating up my walls and giving me the sensation of queefing. I really cant tell. I had to tell him to pause and let me run to the bathroom but nothing comes out. It only started happening after I was trimming my pubes so I had to open my legs a lot so maybe that's why it had air? I don't know but it doesnt hurt, it's just uncomfortable and I really dont wanna fart or I'll die of humiliation.

No. 136652

how common is it during a blowjob for the balls to be also put in the mouth/sucked? is this something a lot of women do? has anyone here done this or would you say it's uncommon?

No. 136669

I never did before because it seemed gross, but my partner is really into it and I think it's kinda fun with him. Only if their balls aren't ugly looking though.

No. 136670

I feel this, too. Only it never felt like air, but it feels like his dick is pushing on your anus from inside. Which it probably is. I feel this when I insert my finger and feel my cervix as well.

I do this to my bf. I fucking love sucking his dick tho so ymmv

No. 136676


Uhm… what? Do you mean playing with the balls using your tongue/lips (normal) or do you mean literally having the dick and the balls inside your mouth at the same time (wtf)?

No. 136681

If you mean taking the whole thing at once, I dont think it's common. That's a lot to take in and his balls might even slip out a lot unless he has a small dick but even then I dont think that's common.

If you mean like switching between balls and dick then yes that is common. I personally find it fun if he has good hygiene. It gives it an extra sensitive feeling on top of the blowjob from what I was told. If you arent into it dont force yourself to do it.

No. 136712

When I go down on my boyfriend I kiss his thighs and it makes him squirm. I guess they're just as sensitive as ladies around there.

No. 136715

Its an underrated spot.I found that most guys don't even consider their other body parts.
If your bf like the kisses try giving them a squeeze too.

No. 136744

Retarded question but do guys normally only cum when they orgasm? Or can they come randomly then orgasm after?

No. 136816


I believe it's real. I think in some cases, hormones etc could affect your libido. I think I'm asexual, as in I'm not interested in sleeping with anyone at all, irl situations or thinking about someone doesn't turn me on. I do masturbate/watch porn, though. I've slept with a handful of people (some of them were ons, others were people I knew), and it's always been really mundane. I have a boyfriend (long distance) and I don't miss sex at all when I don't see him. In the relationship, sex is honestly a chore for me and I do it purely for him as it doesn't give me anything other than having to sit on the toilet for ten minutes after, squirting cum out of my cabin.

No. 136825

lmao yes I meant at different times, focusing on sucking the balls on their own without the dick involved

No. 136877

I began seeing a guy before quarantine and we had sex a handful of times. He is on Paroxetine (an ssri) and it seriously impacts his performance. He can't stay hard for more than a few minutes. Penetrative sex is nearly impossible and it makes him overall nervous in bed.

Unfortunately, I dislike oral and prefer penetration. Do any other anons have experience with partners on ssris? Can I ever expect to have sustained penetrative sex with him? I'm wondering if this is an issue of incompatibility, which sucks because we have great chemistry.

No. 136879


Well, I don't put the whole damn ballsack in my mouth and suck it like I would a dick but I nibble, lick, kiss and touch it when I give blowjobs and I guess that's fairly common thing to do for people who don't hate giving blowjobs.

No. 136881

Do you ever worry that having sex out of duty or like you said 'as a chore' will catch up with you mentally and be damaging in the long run?

I feel the same way about sex but did it to please partners, I feel awful now looking back at those times. I see people, even therapists saying it's pretty common for asexuals to do that but my experience with it is that many years in it lead to a breakdown. I didn't see how much it weighed on me. I did it to avoid a lifetime of being single but having sex you don't want just seems so obviously unhealthy.

No. 136883

Pretty much it's all in one go. Sometimes it's long draw and it will continue but once it's over they won't again. So essentially once and done

No. 136935

I mean the penis usually ends up involved, but it doesn't have to.

No. 136959

Advice Cookie Monster incoming.

No. 136964

>ends up involved
How so?(read the rules)

No. 136977

File: 1587243433426.gif (1015.92 KB, 386x244, D5EFB817-BAD7-447A-9B4C-1D70C5…)

Wtf is this shitty ass photo of uncooked chicken penis.

No. 136981

That's pretty hardcore. I just give them a lil lick/suck when I'm giving him a blowjob

No. 137013

I definitely do, and thank you for looking out for me. I think I'm at the stage you were where I'm just doing it so that it won't be an issue. I know he'll miss sex if we stop. I know he would understand and respect my wishes if I shared my feelings, but I don't think a sex-less relationship would work for him in the long run.I wouldn't mind him having sex with someone else, but he definitely would. I also don't see myself with him in the future, so I don't bother filling him in on my lack of libido. As things are right now, sex is boring for me, but he doesn't last long at all and it's very vanilla, sweet and intimate so I don't feel disgusting or weird afterwards. If he was pornsick and wanted me to blow him for an hour before having rough sex I would scoot.

No. 137140

Tips on how to give blowjobs when you have a strong gag reflex?
Can't do it without choking

No. 137171

Try sucking him while he fingers you? I can't do anything without gagging unless I'm super horny. Honestly I just don't enjoy blowjobs at all unless I'm so turned on my gag reflex is toned down.

No. 137176


I went from barely taking the head in my mouth to fully six inches with minimal gagging from repeated sessions.
You just gotta practice a lot. Your gag will desensitize over time. Make sure your partner is actually patient and not expecting to face fuck you or it will ruin it. Make sure you're actually aroused and into blowjobs or it'll feel like a chore and put you through unnecessary discomfort.
Dont eat a big meal before bjs obv. And dont feel pressured to deep throat if you're not down that day sometimes the head being stimulated is enough. You can use your hand to stroke the base of him while you suck the head and itll give you length limit before you gag. Your hand will help gauge how deep youre able to go before gagging and he still gets pleasure from the stroking. With repeated sessions ver time you'll notice you can take without gagging.

No. 137179

Focus on the head with your mouth and use your hands for the length.

No. 137187

This might sound stupid but have you tried fucking people of different genders?

No. 137336

Just focus on the tip. Helps if he's uncut, but work with what you've got.

No. 137401

File: 1587683128899.png (5.18 KB, 754x89, 1.png)

No. 137822

Anons who give bjs to uncut men - what's the difference in technique? I know I can search for porn but ew.
Like, do you retract the skin so the head is visible, focus on the head and stroke the shaft? Does moving the skin hurt the guy or is it pleasurable? Or do you just move your hand without pulling the skin, so it has to be well lubricated. Advice, anecdotes, experiences appreciated…

No. 137829

It's not like an extra thing you have to worry about. It does its own thing and retracts as appropriate, and lubricates itself etc.

No. 138005

I have a question; do any of you have any experience with men trying to learn about women's sexuality/pleasure without having to ask them to do it? I remember when I got with my first bf and I would sit for hours and hours and read about how to give blowjobs/watch tutorials etc (which apparently worked bc I remember him complimenting me a lot), but I've never been with a man that seems to know what they're doing at all. After kissing for two minutes, they will go on to touching me really hard or go straight to dry finger banging. I always have to direct them and tell them what to do, and even then it's mostly meh. They don't seem to know that even though they're hard and ready to go, most girls need at least some foreplay and warming up before anything major happens. My theory is that the men I've been with have seen too much porn and have never received any constructive criticism from their previous partners. And of course we all, women and men, have different preferences when it comes to touching and oral, but the general notion of being gentle and careful with someones genitals during the first 10 minutes of foreplay at least, seems to be completely missing from the partners I've been with. It's been dawning on me recently and im honestly bitter about how men seems to lack any sort of interest when it comes to how pleasuring women works/learning the basics and different techniques. I hope most of you don't sit with the same feelings as me, because it sucks, but I´m interested to hear about your thoughts on this.

No. 138008

My bf is uncut and has phimosis. It’s super hard giving head to him as he’s delicate and the skin is thick and gives me gag reflex. It hurts to him if The tip is uncovered and prefers when I play with the skin around his tip while covered. I learned how to do it by asking a lot, even though it’s been super frustrating in the end I managed to deal with proper pressure and movements and now it’s more satisfying and fun. I don’t know if every uncut man is like him, but that’s my insight.

No. 138013

Half the problem is shitty porn that shows men getting 20 minute long blow jobs and women not getting any warm up… the other half of the problem is that they often just don't care about our pleasure. That's been my experience even dating older and obvs quite experienced men, Even after having those 'here is what I need from you' talks.. it's like an orgasm is too much to ask for.

No. 138014

My fiancée read a lot and watched videos about female pleasure when we started dating and was very attentive to my needs as I was to his. So there are those out there too but I think it's partly because we were each other's firsts so we did a lot of sexual discovering together. Nowadays he takes my arousal for granted (as in doesn't spend as much time on warming me up as I'd need in that particular time) but telling him I need more touching and caressing has always done the job. And, yeah, I'm lucky. What I've heard it seems that most guys aren't really interested in making the other person feel good, they're so used to being catered to in other parts of their life, so why not in the bedroom too?

No. 138021

When I retract, I retract LIGHTLY. It kind of retracts itself. You can use the foreskin as part of the stimulation. It's like the clitoral hood. The skin should move back and forth. The best thing you can do is ask the guy to show you how he likes to be touched.

No. 138032

Is there any way to make a guy last longer? I’m very fortunate in that my bf takes care of me. He’s the only guy I’ve ever successfully climaxed with. However, he only lasts about 2-3 minutes max maybe. I really miss the intimacy and bonding experience of sex. It’s not a deal breaker, obviously, but I’d really like to be able to have longer, more intense sex.

No. 138042

one method is having a lot of sex basically, so he will be more satisfied = won't climax that fast. Maybe masturbating some time before the act, just make sure he can perform after. He can try taking pauses mid sex, when he feels he's close. In general edging helps. If he's generally weak with control, kegel exercises.

No. 138046

i took a virginity pledge at 15 (i'm 19) and i want to let it go but i feel so guilty. how do you get over it?

No. 138053

use condoms?

No. 138055

your virginity is as big of a deal as you want it to be. for some people, it's highly valued and for others, it didn't meant anything at all.
think of why you want to lose your virginity. is it truly what you want right now, and are willing to deal with potential consequences (if any) of losing your virginity in the future?
think of why you took that pledge in the first place and see if your ideals still match. if they don't, that's okay. people change.
>be me at 8 years old
>promise my mother i'd never get tattoos multiple times
>10 years later, gets a tattoo

i'd say, if you truly want it, go for it. just make sure you use proper protection - don't risk pregnancy.

No. 138059

Have fun while you’re young anon. There is nothing to feel ashamed of, it’s your body.

No. 138063

Sex is how humans perpetuate, it's how we keep existing. We literally wouldn't exist without it, something as natural as that can't possibly be bad or wrong. There's nothing to feel guilty about. Don't let something as abstract as virginity keep you from doing what you want.

In any case you can choose to let go of the pledge even if you decide to not lose your virginity right now, and instead wait until you feel ready to have sex, because it seems like the pledge thing is weighing on you unnecessarily.

That's what I'd do if I were you, I would abandon the pledge by heart, but I would also wait until I have fully come to terms with sex and gotten over the guilt before losing the v card. You can just be a normal virgin waiting for the right time, with no pledge tying you down.

No. 138088

why did you take a virginity pledge? to who? does that mean you have to stay a virgin forever or just until marriage or something? I have no advice but I'm genuinely curious.

No. 138089

I find my boyfriend really attractive but but i only feel horny once a month of two. It feels pretty good when we do have sex but i feel like i've made sex feel so irrelevant in my life that i don't have any sex drive anymore. Is it normal? Can i fix it?

No. 138097

I have a similar drive (once or twice a month) my relationships always end around the 2 year mark and that's usually the cause. Also interested in seeing if anyone has advice or suggestions

If I date a 'patient' guy he usually loses all patience a couple years in, if I force myself to have sex more often I usually am the one having a breakdown 2 years in. What other options are there?

No. 138098

Date a guy with a low sex drive too?

No. 138110

Hey Anon, I am in a similar situation. I am attracted to my boyfriend, we have been together for almost 4 years. When we first started going out, we would have sex at the drop of a hat, but now I find myself less sexual than ever. I have been getting yeast infections because I cannot get wet enough and that adds to me not wanting to be intimate. I am sort of upset about it, because I enjoy being with my partner and I could never imagine being with anyone else and I want to feel desire for him. Thankfully, he does not have that big of a self drive so I am not "restricting" his sexual expression.

I thought it could have something to do with my IUD or something, but I do not want to go on hormonal birth control and I need to use some sort of contraception.

When we are intimate, foreplay does not really work on me, i usually get off from penetration. I stopped masturbating almost completely too.

Such is life.

No. 139639

File: 1590048954976.jpg (90.8 KB, 640x763, 1580481479688.jpg)

I couldn't find a better thread, I hope posting in here is okay.

Girls, am I doomed? Will I be a virgin forever?

I recently got a cute gf.. the trick is she has a history of genital herpes.
She never hid it from me and I decided to get into a relationship with her either way, cause I didn't really think herpes could be that bad.
But yesterday I read up on it.. to know how to prepare and jesus, will I be a virgin forever? It said it can be transmitted even when in dormient phase. Wtf.
I'm honestly freaked out by it now.

She takes care of it, she says it's painful and doesn't wish it on anybody. So she will probably understand my hesitations.. but right now I'm even scared of touching her with my hands.

If we were straight, I would probably just use a condom. But thinking of oral sex with a dental dam forever sounds.. disappointing in the least.

Am I overreacting? Can someone with history of knowledge of herpes help me out or call me out if I'm being too judgmental? Thanks.

No. 139641

You will get answers from two kind of people here.
1) the ones that have herpes and will tell you how "common it is, -insert percentage here-, it's not that bad, you probably even have it too but it's dormant! don't worry anon!"

2) the lucky ones that don't have it (like you and me) that will tell you to RUN. You are right with it being contagious even in the dormant stage. And btw you can get herpes on your mouth, eyes etc if you go down on her. Imagine walking around with genital herpes in your mouth? jesus. I knew a guy who had it in the uni and he would get terrible wounds around his whole mouth.

No. 139643

Thanks anon. I'm gonna go kms now.

No. 139662

I was worried about having herpes and my gynecologist told me it's very common and most of the times barely any issue. In the end it turned out I dont have it but I'd trust what the doctor says here, it's not just people with herpes trying to make themselves feel better but scientifically a really common thing to have.
Still, if anon's girlfriend has the super-problematic symptoms, i'd be super reluctant too….

No. 139686

Unless you think this will be your forever wife it's absolutely not worth it to take on a lifetime STD over a girlfriend you are only going to be with for two years max. What do you really think? Hahahaha.

No. 139696

I’ve never actually heard about someone who got herpes from someone else in a dormant phase. Idk, I got raped at 16 and contracted herpes so maybe I’m biased. The first years it broke out sometimes but nowadays it’s like I don’t even have it. Last time was two years ago when I had the flu. And I have never transmitted it to someone either.

No. 139718

The type of strain is really important here. If it's genital HSV-1, there is a miniscule nearly nonexistent chance that you would catch it from her. If it's genital HSV-2, then there's a high chance you would catch it even in the dormant phase.

No. 139721

OP here, isn't HSV-1 the one you get around your mouth? She has the painful one on her genitals so I'm pretty sure it's HSV-2…

Honestly anons I feel so hopeless now, this whole thing made me upset for the whole day and I'm acting distant with her now.
>>139686 this anon types like a troll but really made me reconsider.. .

You anon are truly my only hope left.. I wish more people with it would comment and tell me their experiences. I'm actually considering just catching it and living with it at this point.

No. 139729

Not all herpes are made equal though, genital herpes isn't that common at all compared to other types of herpes.
For example, if you ever got chickenpox as a kid, then you have herpes, just not the genital type. If you ever got cold sores, then you also have herpes, just not the genital type.
I think that's where the misconception comes from, because yeah, most people have some form of the herpes virus, but most have the types that cause cold sores, chickenpox, or even mononucleosis, not the genital type.

No. 139735

I'm >>139696 - I can't tell you what to do, just telling you my experience. So, when I contracted herpes (HSV-2) around 10 years ago, I had a fever and other symptoms but I also had a cut and an infection in my vagina from the rape so it's unclear what caused the fever. In the first few years, I had outbreaks circa twice a year and I even had them around the vaginal opening, which wasn't pleasant at all but felt pretty much like a UTI. Nowadays, I only get them when I'm otherwise sick (I guess when my immune system is already fighting off something else) and it's no longer around the vaginal opening but always on the upper left side of my mons pubis. It doesn't exactly look nice but it doesn't really bother me other than that.

I've had regular sex with three people since I caught it. I'm still in contact with two of them, whom I even had unprotected (no condom) sex with. Of course, they all knew about the fact that I have herpes and we didn't have sex when I had sores. None of them have caught it. But I've read that you can contract herpes and never show symptoms, so who knows?

That said, I've read stories online about people who've had it worse than me. I mean, I would definitely prefer not to have it, the worst part is the shame and feeling so dirty and tainted. Especially having contracted it the way I did.

No. 139745

Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for what happened to you, I can't imagine being reminded of it too in such a way.

As comes to me, I think I'll ask her to speak to her gyn to get some medical advice about this.. it' the only thing I can do to be honest.

No. 139746

Yeah, that sounds like a good idea. Maybe you should speak to a gyn as well, or you two could go together, depending on how close you are. In the end, there is no right or wrong and only you can make this decision.

No. 139813

Either strain can settle into either area, ie you can have genital HSV-1 or oral HSV-2 too, they just happen less often. Genital HSV-1 can be caught by a person with oral herpes giving you oral sex.

No. 139850

Honestly, STIs are deal breakers to me. I know it's not fair of me, but I just can't get past that squick. I'm terrified at the idea of having an incurable, long-term, contagious illness.

No. 140603

Use your hands then wash them well.

No. 140604

Most STIs aren’t a big deal though. I got chlamydia once and all I had to do was take some antibiotics.

No. 140629

That sounds like such a mood killer…being only able to touch her and if you want to touch yourself or move onto anything else you gotta be like "brb washing my hands"…anon if it were me i'd bite the bullet and say sayonara, i couldn't do that my whole life

No. 140739

based anonm STI and people who say it isn't a big deal are scum
STI can really fuck up your fertility later, just saying

No. 140969

can a guy go on after getting oral? Or is it over when he orgasms? I'm wondering because I may have sex soon and idk about foreplay, I feel like he will want to eat me out and I'd want to reciprocate - like if we do oral first how long should I go down on him? To the finish? Or just do it for a while and then stop so he doesn't finish and can actually go into my vagina next.

No. 140972

Don't let him finish if you want him to continue. I'm assuming you're young and so is he, chances are he doesn't have the stamina to go again after cumming. Most guys usually have a cool down time of around 3 - 4 hours.

No. 140973

not that young tbf, just your stereotyped basement dweller virgin anon. Now that I think about it, it's obvious but I guess the excitement de-brains me. Thank you

No. 140974

If you're doing it as a warm up before sex then don't have him finish, the whole point of it is to have him fully erect and ready to go.. so it's counterproductive to have him finish, even young men can't suddenly reload after coming

No. 140975

Men wont bother continuing after they have finished. Once they are pleased, thats that.

No. 140976

This, prioritise getting your own orgasm, make sure you receive oral first

No. 140977

I think it's fair to be worried but also that you're being over cautious. I get cold sores (oral herpes) as do a huge percentage of the population. they are just as contagious as genital herpes. my bf and I just don't kiss/do oral when I have an outbreak. ask her if she takes anything to suppress it, once I started taking 1000mg of lysine a day (it's super cheap too) mine went from once every couple months to once or twice a year. don't let this ruin something if you think it's worth it anon

No. 141013

Just blow him but don't finish, then switch to sex. Like the other anons said, make him go down on you first, or just barely start him and then go back after he does oral. They won't do anything they don't have to do so make sure you get it in before they finish.

Also unrelated but going from oral (giving a blow job) to vaginal sex often gave me my first really bad yeast infection. I have a shit immune system so you're probably fine, just something to think about.

No. 141258

Do you also get VERY wet when aroused? So wet my underwear is like someone soaked it in water. It goes through my underwear and wets my pants. When I'm spending time with the guy I'm attracted to, I have to actually take breaks to wipe it lol it's making me anxious. Before, I would get wet of course when aroused but like… chill. Managable, wouldn't even imagine it could be a problem. He's the first person I'm seriously attracted to though, so idk if that's how it always is? A fucking waterfall.

No. 141259

>When I'm spending time with the guy I'm attracted to, I have to actually take breaks to wipe it
Anon this is so funny, not taking the piss out of you personally but this is hilarious. Do you pass it off as going to the bathroom or something? If there's no other problems it may just be your quirk, I'm sure he won't have a problem with learning about this though kek

No. 141260

yeah, I'm taking bathroom breaks… and few times I quickly cleaned up with a tissue when he was gone to the toilet lmao. I know he'd probably take it as a compliment or something but it's just embarrassing for me. So you're saying that's not usual? Goddamn
Maybe I'm just too horny and it will chill after we finally have sex

No. 141261

Unless you are trying to fuck onision, being soaking wet is a good thing. Men love that shit, strokes their ego a lot lol.

No. 141264

Why is it that when I masturbate alone, I can cum super quick, but around my boyfriend, it takes me way longer? And when my boyfriend touches me, it takes me even LONGER, or I don't even cum at all?

I think he's super attractive, and he's the only partner I've had. We've been pretty communicative about what we like and he doesn't mind the length of time, but it makes me frustrated.

No. 141281

It could be that you're totally focused on yourself when you masturbate alone, not that your boyfriend is unattractive. It could be like doing 69; it feels really good to get eaten out, which theoretically should make you cum, but you're also eating the other person out and that's distracting.

No. 141364

About to have sex for the first time and the dude has a sizeable dick
We're both virgins, which is why we said we'd do this, but how to I make sure he doesn't ruin this for me?
I'm already investing in lube, but should I try anything else?
I'm not as worried about getting wet, but the dude isn't super attractive so I can't say I'll be totally turned on while doing it

No. 141365

I have the same thing. I can get myself off super fast, but it takes longer and takes a bit more “effort” on my part to reach orgasm when my bf gets me off. But then I feel like I have a stronger orgasm when he does it, so I don’t mind. I don’t think it’s anything to worry about - if there’s any pointers you can give him of stuff you like, 100% do that, it can help a lot though.

No. 141367

>the dude isn't super attractive so I can't say I'll be totally turned on while doing it
Why are you fucking a guy you're not attracted to? Starting off strong i see

No. 141368

Just want to lose my virginity and get it over with

No. 141369

Why are you doing this to yourself anon? Find yourself someone you find attractive for your fist time ffs.
It's an occasion to make a nice memory, don't waste it on an uggo you don't want.

No. 141370

How do I teach my bf to eat pussy? His technique is really bad

No. 141371

I get it, the experience, but this isn't like your last chance before you die a spinster or something. Why not just wait for someone who you actually want fucking you?
Kek. How is it bad? Are you able to give instruction during sex?

No. 141372

I just want to get it over with–I'm tired of waiting, not a huge deal
Sure it's not my last chance, but does it really matter if my first time is an "uggo"?
I just want to have my first time, I don't care what they look like

No. 141373

Fair enough, i've had sex with men i wasn't attracted to before but it's just a bit shite, you'll feel like a prostitute kek, we're not saying you'll be completely traumatised but it's just not a good experience or one you should seek out. Sex with some random uggo is not what you want for your first time, we're not trying to argue with you, it's just a fact. You're not an incel anon, you don't need to just lose it to anyone at this stage so you can 'get it over with and say you lost it'. Your virginity isn't a burden, you're not male and when you meet the person you actually should have lost it to you'll feel dumb about the whole thing

No. 141381

Honestly I have a great memory of my first time and I'm glad I waited for someone I really wanted to fuck.

It was full of fumbles but I really had the hots for the guy so it didn't mattered at all (I think he couldn't even fully put it in and we ended up with blood everywhere).
I cherish the memory and it's still hot stuff in my memory porn bank.

I could have fucked way earlier (my first time was at 18) and I sometimes felt a loser when all my peers had already done it but now, I wouldn't swap it for the world.

No. 141382

I'm 25–if I had the chance to lose it to someone I was obsessed with, I would have taken it
But I'm 25–whatever chance there was is kinda over

Don't I get to choose how I feel about having sex and how I feel after having sex?

No. 141384

But the thing is, you won't feel any different. You will just feel like you had bad sex with someone you're not even that into.
It's like forcing yourself to drink a liter of hot piss. Sure, you can do it if you want. But why, tho?

No. 141385

Ok, so back to initial subject, since you really want to fuck the uggo.
Sooo… Get the lube and make sure to have long preliminary. He should be able to slide at least two fingers into you before the actual fucking happens or it's going to hurt a lot.
Don't hesitate to masturbate yourself if you have to to get to a good dilation point.
Tell him to go fucking slow and try to relax. If he really is sizeable, it will probably hurt. It may pass tho but I wouldn't hold my breath if you're not that horny.

No. 141389

we're not men, virginity literally doesnt matter. buy a qt juggalo or something and lose it to him instead of an uggo you dont even like.

No. 141396

>I'm 25
It doesn't matter. I waited until I was 23 and I'm glad I did. Even if it wasn't perfect, I have the positive memory of my first time being with someone I love. Doing it for the sake of it is just going to leave you unsatisfied and feeling like shit afterwards.

No. 141398

Did you just spell gigolo as juggalo

No. 141399

I was really confused by this and I didn't knnow what she meant, like does it have to be a juggalo or can I just solicit sex from anyone?

No. 141403

File: 1591573403379.jpg (20.41 KB, 400x258, 5ea1e91075078.jpg)

Who wouldn't want to lose their virginity to a juggalo?

I mean, come on virgin anon, if you really want to lose your v-card, do it with some style.

No. 141404

This is killing me lmao. Just imagining anon soliciting sex from a guy in clown makeup

No. 141407

Most women end up fucking clowns–welcome to the club

No. 141409

Honestly anon literally nobody has told you it's worth it or a good idea. You're 25 and you can't take other women's advice that you asked for? If you don't like dissenting opinions, don't ask for advice
>It's like forcing yourself to drink a liter of hot piss.
Kek. why does anon want to be a free prostitute? Sex with men sucks half the time, the least he could do is be attractive

No. 141425

By now you're actually special for being a virgin. Find yourself a quality man who is also a virgin, tbh.

No. 141427

You've got it wrong. Males get powers when they keep their virginities, women get them when they lose theres.
Why do you think she's about to fuck that ugly guy? She wants her damn letter to poudlard already.

No. 141428

Maybe he will be really fucking good but the most likely scenario is she won't, won't have sex for another long while after this and there will have been no point. Keeping in mind shes literally not attracted to him poundland would turn her away at the door

No. 141434

My friend is like this as well, but she doesn't really mind and her bf definitely doesn't mind. Vaginas are different and honestly i´m a bit jealous. It takes me ages to get properly wet and it can hurt a bit if there isn't enough foreplay.

No. 141435

Honestly, you should take a good look into foreplay (especially for u so he would do things right) and make sure that he would know where your clit is. It would be nice if he also stimulated it during penetration, too.

But to be frank, i think it's best to rather die a virgin than be so desperate that you will let a random guy to whom u are not attracted in any bit fuck you. Virginity and it's cult is dumb, invest yourself in a vibrator / dildo instead of a man if you want to get fucked that badly and lose the virginity with an actually nice man.

No. 141508

25 isn't that old anon, especially among image board using types. I lost it at 22 and my best friend (who is a well adjusted normalfag) is 24 and still a virgin. Just chill.
Besides, if in a few years you meet somebody you're attracted to and want to have sex with and you're embarrassed, just say you've had a bit of a dry spell and are a little rusty. It's nbd.

???? Men are obsessed with virgins. Why do you think women are able to literally sell their virginities?

No. 141517

Find a guy you are attracted to. Doesn't matter how good he is in bed, if he is ugly its gonna suck and feel gross.

No. 141531

>Males get powers when they keep their virginities, women get them when they lose theres.
wtf is this wizardchan cope. Socially it's literally the opposite

No. 141604

Here to rant. I know yall will just tell me to talk to her.
But for reals, my gf fucks like a man. She flickers her tongue lightly on my clit for 3 minutes and then asks me why I'm not coming.. I tell her I need more time + she's my first so it's normal, and she just gets disappointed and says she sucks. I tell her what to change and how to make it better and she just does it for a bit and when I get into it she changed rhythm or touches a different part of my body instead??
The kicker is that she had a female fuckbuddy before who told her "No one ever made her cum like that before"…

No. 141746

hey i'm >>141258 finally had sex! I'm not so crazily wet anymore lol.
Actually, if I can vent a bit, sex is bit disappointing. Guy has nice looking girthy dick and yet I barely feel it inside. Not even once I came from penetration and he does various thrusting techniques. I can tell he knows his shit. Yet I only orgasmed when I rubbed my clit during penetration. And even that takes more time than solo. The clit-stimulated orgasm feels better with penis in, that's for sure. Yet I wish the dick would be enough. I thought I'm not in majority that doesn't come from penetration but I guess I am after all. I'm a bit sad about it.
On another note, I'm still too shy to touch his dick lol.

No. 141748

Lol I have to laugh when yall barely not virgins talk about not having orgasms. It takes time to learn that shit, to relax enough and to figure out how it works. I have had multiple partners and have had sex for many years, but its only now that I can orgasm vaginally, which technically is just a clit orgasm as well.

"Oh I didnt cum the first time I had a dick in me, guess I cant come :(((" lmao

No. 141750

Shut up whorechan, you're just as embarrassing

No. 141753

Someone has a lot of pent up frustration from not having orgasm I see

No. 141754

I see the pickmes are out tonight

No. 141755

and? what's your point even. Idk anon I may be barely not virgin but even I know most people don't take "many years" to orgasm, maybe check yourself or consider if those "multiple partners" were worth anything

No. 141763

You're laughing at an inexperienced woman because she wanted satisfaction but instead she got
> sex is bit disappointing. Guy has nice looking girthy dick and yet I barely feel it inside
The dude was shit in bed, stop making out like that's normal

No. 141767

Lmao I didn't say he wasn't shit, just that its unrealistic to expect orgasm the first time you fuck. It doesn't mean you can't cum, just that you're inexperienced. A dude can be a sex god, but if she doesn't know her body, it aint gonna help shit.

You have to know yourself before you can expect someone else to get you off.

No. 141783

If you're too shy to touch his dick, you obv weren't relaxed enough so jumping to conclusions on whether you can ever have an orgasm from penetration alone is hasty. Chill.

No. 141784

> On another note, I'm still too shy to touch his dick lol.
You had sex with this guy and didn't warm each other up with other types of play first? That could play a big role in the sex being dissapointing

> I can tell he knows his shit

Does he? Cos most guys know to let their partner get familiar by at least handling a penis before taking it for the first time.

No. 141815

Imagine calling a pickme a woman not ashamed of her own vagina.

No. 141830

I've been having sex for at least five years and I still don't get how some women enjoy it. I have never been able to orgasm from it, despite the fact that it's pretty easy for me to orgasm by myself.
I've had multiple partners with varying levels of experience. I don't think I'm asexual, the fantasy I masturbate to is literally imagining that I enjoy sex. I like watching porn too but I cut it off like a year ago in hopes it would make it better. Please teach me your ways anon, drop some tips and tricks.

No. 141839

> I've been having sex for at least five years and I still don't get how some women enjoy it.
Stop doing something that you don't even enjoy. Nta but I had sex for about 12 years before figuring out that after trying for that long I should just stop having not-so-great sex and stick to what I do enjoy, sex toys. The topic came up during a therapy session and I realised how emotionally damaging it was to essentially have sex out of duty.

No. 141840

I quasi never orgasm during sex although I can make myself cum in less than 30 seconds by myself if need be.
I really enjoy the horniness I get being with someone. I even enjoy the penetration. But it'll get me nowhere without clit rubbing and the kind I need, the guy is always in the way if we're doing penetration.
I've just learnt to live with it. I'll fake sometimes and use the fact that the sex made me horny af to rub on out (real partners were made aware, I told them nicely that I liked very much sex but it was more of a mechanical thing and then plainly touched myself to get there after they were done : they all were OK with it and actually got ready for second round listening to me get off)
Life is not movie where characters magically cum togheter at the same second. You gotta ditch this and do you.

No. 141845

The only times where I genuinely enjoyed sex were with people I was truly attracted to and cared about, at that point I didn't even care about cumming because the act itself was so pleasing and satisfying I'd feel as if I'd orgasmed several times already.
The times with randos or people I wasn't truly attracted to was borderline disgusting to the point I thought I was asexual.
Finding a worthy partner shouldn't be a chore, but something that just happens.
Since I have been with my actual partner, masturbating hasn't been the same, I just feel unfulfilled and "meh" afterwards. Sometimes I wonder if I'd were to break up with him if I'd ever enjoy an orgasm by myself ever again.

No. 141854

I mean, not to further the idea that women shouldn't have orgasms during sex, but is your idea of enjoyment contingent on orgasming?

I can get off from oral, but penetration or even just getting touched elsewhere feels way better for me. Usually I have to concentrate so much on orgasming from oral that it ruins the mood for me, so I'd rather have a lot of continuous, extreme pleasure in other ways as opposed to getting bored just to orgasm for a few seconds. I also hate anyone's hands directly touching my clit for long, whether it's mine or someone else's, so that's out of the question too.

Ever since I stopped placing an expectation on myself to orgasm during sex every time, it's gotten way better for me because I focus on what feels best, not just what'll make me cum quickest.

No. 141876

On the opposite side of the spectrum to this current discussion, how does the dating world look for a woman who doesn't want to be touched? Am a virgin in my twenties.
The idea of having sexual attention on me is generally unappealing and has never been involved in my fantasies. The only reason I want to have sex is to touch people I find attractive.

Are there men who are okay with this? I assume more women would be, which I am also very open to. Are there many pillow princesses, really?

No. 141895

>need a dick session
>still in quarantine

No. 141915

anon has a point though, you can't draw the conclusion you can't come from piv after having sex only once.

No. 141976

There's no general sex toy thread that isn't just for masturbation so I'm going to ask this here.
I was wondering if strapless strap are worth it or should i just get a strap on? For reference its for vaginal sex not pegging.

No. 141987

Does anyone else feel like they could orgasm from nipple stimulation alone? Has it ever happened to anyone? My nipples are so sensitive and almost always erect for some reason even without any stimulation. I’ve brought it up with a doctor before who said it’s normal but I still feel slightly weird about it.

No. 141988

Ugh, I'm so jealous. My nipples are almost completely numb.

No. 141990

Same and it bumms me out a bit. Sometimes I wonder if it's because they're small but that sounds kind of dumb

No. 141993

I'm the original anon and my nipples are so small too, so I don't think it's because of that, I do wonder why there seems to be such a variation between women though… like to me touching my nipples feels almost like touching my clit like I feel it through my entire body

No. 142000

Nah, I'm >>141988 and I don't think that has anything to do with it. Mine are big, both the boobs and the areolas are kind of big as well. It's probably genetic or something? I don't know, I can't find much on this topic.

No. 142024

I looked into it a little and apparently smaller breasts in females are more sensitive which would make sense for me because I have small breasts, but idk why physically smaller breasts would be more sensitive.

No. 142027

Doesn’t apply to me sadly. My boobs are quite small but I can’t feel anything on my areolas and my nipples aren’t even as sensitive as my skin. Sucks to be me I guess

No. 142175

ew he is probably crusty and unwashed under that foreskin

No. 142179

Anyone else get nervous about taking to long during sex? I feel like I’m used to vibrators and have only come once with my boyfriend. It’s super attentive I just feel like I’m taking forever and can’t get into a good headspace where it feels good ?

No. 142183

This sounds like the furthest thing from a sexy experience.. Girl I hope he eats your pussy real good in return

No. 142184

I used to but it's not really our fault that female orgasm can take a while, you're right that clearing your mind is probably the hardest part too.

Do you ever incorporate a vibe into your play as a couple?

No. 142214

Not really sure if this belongs here as it’s more related to sexting rather than actual sex. Anyways my bf and I have been together for about 5 months but haven’t had much contact irl because of the distance and COVID. We’re both virgins so sexting has been a newish experience for me and I think him as well (I’m 21 btw and he’s 22) but oh my god…he’s not the best at it and says some really cringy things. Like, first of all some of the terms he uses are the farthest thing from sexy. For example he called my vagina, my “snatch” and my breasts as “boobs” which just completely turned me off and made me stare at my phone for a solid 10 seconds in confusion. He also asks me to describe giving him head like multiple times during our sexting session and barely talks about putting anything in me and doesn’t want me to put anything inside myself cause it will “devirgin” me or something. He has offered to give me oral and seems like he actually wants to which is nice (I wasn’t expecting it). But the way he describes it in sexting is so weird to me. I just try and keep in mind that he probably isn’t really experienced in putting sexy stuff into words were I’ve been reading erotica since I was a freshman. Is there anyway for me to give him sexting advice without hurting his feelings or ego? It honestly makes me kind of nervous how things will be when we’re intimate in person.

No. 142218

Sexting and actual sex are two completely different things, so I wouldn't really worry about him being bad at sexting meaning he's also gonna be bad at sex.
Generally in my experience dudes just rarely are good at sexting. I guess it's just that they're turned on by different things than women, and don't really give a shit about wording as much. A lot of women have gotten off to written smut before so kinda know what they're doing and tend to be more particular about the specific phrases used, whereas guys care less about the adjectives you use as long as the word boobs appears.
If he's that inexperienced I think he'd be fine with you telling him he should get better at it. The best way for him to improve would probably be to have him read some smut that you like. Maybe link him some and see if he picks up some of it?

No. 142219


but also he's going to be bad at sex

when it eventually happens, the more confident you can be at telling him what you want/what feels good, the better

No. 142226

send him some good smut or fanfiction and tell him to git gud. also specify which words and phrases you actively dislike.
> barely talks about putting anything in me and doesn’t want me to put anything inside myself cause it will “devirgin” me or something
kek. men sure are something.

No. 142234

Sometimes you just have to accept that some men aren't good with words. I've been married for years and my husband still says dumb shit to me. The other day he kissed me and told me that I was his favourite place to put his dick as though that's something that I wanted to hear. I try and think about what he wanted to say instead of what he actually did. Your boyfriend will hopefully improve with time and experience. The other factor here is because you aren't doing this in person he can't see your body language. Once you're actually together doing something he will pick up from your reaction what's arousing and what isn't.

No. 142258

what basic "light" things you can do to a man for foreplay?
I lost mi vcard. For few days we had sex before sleeping and in the morning, also in the shower once (nice!). Yet still I'm too shy to do something to him. I think I'm slow at building intimacy, it's much better after those few days together but eh, I feel bad. What can I do that's nice but vanilla, so I take small steps? The only thing I did was, when we were spooning I "massaged" his penis with my ass to get him hard.

No. 142264

Sounds like you've rushed things if you've had sex a few times already and foreplay is now an afterthought, that and describing yourself as being too shy to do things to him? Were you truly ready for sex when you two started?

>I think I'm slow at building intimacy

All those foreplay activities that you are 'still too shy for' are meant to come first and ease you into intimacy. If you skipped over them and went straight to sex you will have feelings like that. Is he inexpereinced too? It's not a good sign when a guy wants to put his dick in a virgin knowing that she's never even handled a penis first.

No. 142282

he doesn't know I was a virgin lol. Don't judge me on that, I've always planned on doing it this way. Because I'm a bit older than usual, I had enough knowledge/experience for it to be pretty natural and not awkward I think. He didn't notice and I had no problems, it was really enjoyable and I'm glad I did it.
I can tell he's pretty experienced. It's not like he just sticks his dick in me, don't worry, we do foreplay, but I'm mainly on the receiving end which is making me feel bad.
No, I really wanted that, it's just… When we started cuddling I was too shy to pet and caress him too, for some time. It's just how I am, you can say I didn't socialize this way, for some people it's hard to understand because it's something they'd been doing since the teens. I'm a late bloomer. Everything is new to me, both exciting and stressful.
I'd really appreciate advice. I'm just eager to do something nice in return.

No. 142286

My advice is to tell him the truth.

No. 142289

And for what reason? It has nothing to do with anything. I liked the idea that it's me who loses the virginity, not a man who takes it. It's my concern, my body. It gave me confidence and control. I think I will tell him someday for sure, as a funny anecdote. I'm asking a normal innocent question

No. 142293

Is this a partner or a fuck buddy? Are you actively making up stories of having fucked other guys before?

No. 142307

How do I gently bring it up to him that he's never actually made me finish?
I've been with my bf for like, 6 months and in that time we've been going at it like rabbits (bar quarantine) however he's never ever made me finish. He's not bad or anything, I just like particular things and can't cum from just penetration, but also I've led him to believe that he has made me cum so I'm not sure hot to break it to him without hurting his feelings as it's not really his fault at all.
Besides this and some minor issues with me experiencing pain, it's wonderful but I'd just like to enjoy myself completely

No. 142312

>can't cum from just penetration
So like 99% of women? At this point, any guy who assumes a woman can cum from his dick alone IS at fault for being delusional. Is he not eating you out? If not, that is again his fault.
>I've led him to believe that he has made me cum
If you've straight up lied you're probably gonna have to confess and apologize

No. 142313

neither I guess, we're at very early stage of dating, I'm not sure what's gonna come from it. I didn't lie actually, after our first time he asked how many partners I've had, I said to give it up laughing, and he jokingly asked that many?. End of topic. I don't know why you're trying to make a big deal out of this, it's not like I made him believe I'm some dickslayer. I'm sure he can tell I'm inexperienced anyway.
Guess I'll have to look it up somewhere

No. 142316

Is he going down on you?

No. 142319

Right, so fill me in on this.
Can he not pull the foreskin all the way back? How does he clean it, then? Has he looked into medical attention as there is some type of block here?
I've never slept with a circumcised man and I've never ran into this kind of trouble.

No. 142321

i enjoy sex immensely, because i love my boyfriend so much, but i can rarely cum when we bang. it has happened a couple of times by pure coincidence but it usually just doesnt happen for me when we have sex, which is fine because i enjoy the sex and the intimacy with someone i love way more than i love a solo orgasm. it's a completely different kind of enjoyment.

No. 142328

after 5 years I think they'll have built enough trust and if it ever ended for them (even badly) he would like just delete them, she also has his so it's a double edged sword if he puts them online

No. 142329

nta, but he won't be able to pull it all the way back and there will be solid smegma

my bf said when he was around 10/11 he told his parents he couldn't pull his foreskin all the way back and they explained he had to so he could clean it, after a while he said he could but it did hurt and was very sore and lots of white smegma so i am using his experience to write about this, i assume if a man has it then at a later age the only cure is surgery

No. 142334

So um in the past I've mostly been into like BDSM, but now that I'm a bit older I'm starting to question why I like it. I actually only ever do sex stuff if there's some element of BDSM going on, I'm not interested without it. The idea of just asking someone for PIV sex doesn't excite me at all. I feel like this may be a barrier to maintaining a healthy relationship and I've noticed that I have a lot of one way friendships with people who use me a lot. I'm not asking for how to change, but I just want to know if it's possible to change. Can I one day just have satisfying normal sex and not have to worry about all that other stuff?

No. 142337

no but I kinda want too. he's okay with it I just feel like it sucks if I can't finish without a vibe. I also know wants to be able to finish me by hand at some point.

No. 142364

I'm the same way. Tbh the only way I solved this is to stop all clit masturbation (no vibrator) and practiced cumming with a dildo.

Preferences change! It did for me. I have faith that you can achieve satisfying "normal sex," with the right person. You could also just proceed as usual and it would be totally fine, but I would reconsider those friendships.

No. 142367

I'm a virgin and my SO can't find the hole or do anything, so I want to try taking charge and try it being on top but I can't find a guide on how exactly that works like where you sit and how exactly you shove it in there. Yes I am retard but I have anxiety disorders and I want to be prepared for attempting to do it and not just randomly without having any idea

No. 142375

I never straight up lied, just sorta agreed when he asked because sex is pretty tiring and I just wanna sleep after
He went down on me twice but he's very stubbly and caused a lot of damage down there with his stubble, it's super uncomfortable that way but he won't shave, which is fine as it's not my body.

No. 142462

Are you doing it in the dark? Turn on the lights.

No. 142471

I've dated some stubble faced men and TBH if he knows what he's doing down there he'll manage to eat it without the stubble ripping you up. He can spread your lips apart with his fingers and then leave his fingers there as a barrier as he just uses his tongue. Stubbley men usually know that technique well.

No. 142474

If it's not a serious case it's possible to get better with stretching and lube.

No. 142599

Lol I rode guys “wrong” for a bit so I get your confusion. For some reason I thought you leaned forward? Nah, you’re upright. Put your knees on either side of his hips, lift yourself up, and use your hand to guide him in. From there it’s pretty natural, just do what feels good. If it feels good to you it probably feels good to him.

Maybe ask if he can use conditioner or beard oil on his facial hair? I’ve been with a few stubbly guys and never had that problem, huh

No. 143590

File: 1594224825352.png (139.99 KB, 640x360, 1291948390818.png)

I'm probably gonna get hate for this but…

I'm more of a coomer than my boyfriend. My boyfriend has literally only masturbated like three times during our time together (2 years give or take) in the beginning of our relationship, to some semi nudes I sent him. And yes, it makes sense and I actually believe him. He doesn't have the mindset of a porn addict either, I can tell.

I, on the other hand, am a fucking porn addict. I started watching porn when I was 8. I quickly got obsessed with it and was into freakish degenerate shit. I watched porn almost every day during my teenage years and masturbated up to like 12 times sometimes.

A few years ago, when I was still single, I started getting bored with watching porn. I only watched it maybe once or twice a month and masturbated maybe once a week. When I met my boyfriend, I made an effort not to watch porn at all anymore. But now that it feels forbidden, the urge is just getting worse.

I've looked at some relatively tame stuff, once in a while, like some vanilla gifs or just a picture of a naked girl, but I feel like a shithead and I want to stop. Alternatively, I read some dirty stories but idk, it's better but I still feel like a sicko who doesn't know what's good for her.

Sometimes I still feel like I "need" porn. It's like it has permanently fucked up my brain, as I've been watching it starting at such a young age. I even feel disconnected during sex a lot of the time.

It feels weird being a female coomer who's in a relationship with a dude who just wants to fuck you and has no interest in porn at all. My ex was a porn addict and I hated it, I've always longed for a guy who isn't fucked in the head like that but now that I have one of those rare specimens, I can't even really appreciate it because I'm such a degenerate myself.

I don't really have any questions. I just want to know if anyone can relate. Maybe someone has some ideas on how I can get rid of this urge to watch porn.

No. 143593


This might sound cheesy but have you tried any methods for honing in on the emotional connection during sex? Sex is 100x better when you're mentally involved with your partner vs just being stimulated and getting off. Porn is easy because you're a 3rd party observer and don't have to do anything, and it sounds like that's carrying over into your sex life.

Focus on foreplay with your partner and really pay attention. When you kiss him think about how it feels, how he tastes, the sounds he makes. If you find your mind drifting then just acknowledge that and turn your focus back to him. Don't judge anything, just feel it (No "this is weird/what am I doing/I wonder what he thinks/etc.") Teach your body and mind to be totally present and find things that turn you on during real intimacy.

If you're finding it hard to connect being horny and loving at the same time, try things to help bridge that porn/relationship gap. Get a full length mirror and watch you and your boyfriend bang. Talk dirty to him and vice versa (will also help you stay present). Ask if he'll masturbate for you and watch him.

A lot of this stuff should start becoming more interesting, intense and sexy for you because it's going to involve more of your senses (and your brain) as compared to the one dimensional nature of porn. It's likely not going to be an instant switch and it will require being more vulnerable, but you can start reconditioning yourself and you'll likely become less interested in porn over time.

No. 143602

Thank you for your nice reply and the great advice, anon!

I've really been trying to be more mindful during sex but it's hard. Some days are easier than others when it comes to being sensual and in the moment. Penetration and taking care of his needs is mostly fine, but as soon as he's touching me and trying to get me off, I start to feel stressed out. Even foreplay makes me feel really awkward and out of place somehow. Probably due to my porn brain and self-esteem issues.

I'm definitely going to try to apply the advice of trying to be more mindful and vulnerable. I think I need to apply this to my life in general to improve my sex life. Especially the part about not judging, I feel like I'm judging myself and everything that's happening 24/7.

Again, thanks for your reply! I really appreciate it!

No. 143607


Of course, I hope things get better for you in time!

I understand what that's like at least from a secondhand perspective, as my partner used to have trouble enjoying sex due to porn use and prior trauma. The porn was really just a way to insulate himself against the vulnerability that good sex requires while still getting the "release" of orgasm, even though it wasn't super satisfying. It was easier and less scary than learning to accept pleasure from another person.

There was a lot to untangle there… he felt guilty for enjoying sex, had self esteem issues, was afraid I'd reject him, didn't even know how to slow down and appreciate foreplay, really. But after some sustained effort things are awesome for us now, so there's definitely hope!

If you feel comfortable doing so, it might also help to talk with your boyfriend about what you're going through so he's aware and can help keep you in the moment if he notices you tuning out. Plus it just feels less stressful knowing you're not having to overcome everything alone. Hang in there and be kind to yourself.

No. 143725

I really want to have a one night stand - I've never had one - but I got vaginismus and I'm afraid I might tense up and make penetration impossible. Should I just go with it or it's a bad idea entirely?

No. 144033

File: 1594694734450.jpg (78.52 KB, 564x845, 857b6c92328039ff2a4217d583cf90…)

I'm 26 and have recently come to terms with the fact that I'm a lesbian. I'm really nervous about having come out a bit later in life and having no sexual experience with women. Any tips for doing the deed? I'm interested in topping. I don't like porn and don't find it realistic or helpful.

No. 144053

Just find a willing girl and admit she's your first and she'll guide you. Personally I trust girls way more than men, I wouldn't say something like this to a guy because I'm sure he'd try to fulfill his porn fantasies. But a woman will genuinely teach you.
You may be not very skilled but you know what you like, what women like. That's already a lot

No. 144223

Sometimes it could be a bit delayed, or if they need to piss, they feel it a little after pissing. Guys are weird.

No. 144224

Yeah probably don't reciprocate oral until after PIV, if he doesn't come. Use it as a finishing move. Alternatively, you can be upfront and talk to him about it, some time when you're not having sex.

No. 144397

Is it usual that a guy can cum, stay hard and go on? My dick count is two so I have no idea. The guy I'm with now can sometimes last very long and we have to change condoms. Last time he came 2 times and still went on because I didn't orgasm yet. On Twitter (I know…) I saw a post like "bless men who can stay hard after cumming" (paraphrasing). And my friend said that her ex could go on and on because they were teens and he was a horny teen. Sounded like she wouldn't expect that now, in adult years.
SO is this a usual thing or do I consider myself lucky/ the guy good at sex?

No. 144399

As far as I know that's quite unusual. Every guy I've slept with definitely had to take a long break before being able to get hard/cum again. A refractory period I believe it's called.

No. 144401

Might depend on his age or how new the relationship is? My bf could easily go 2 or 3 times when we first got together. I brought this up recently to him and he said it was probably because how new and exciting everything was. I was like "gee thanks" lol. I still get double dicking on occasion though.

No. 144402

Do you have a high sex drive? I'd hate it if my bf wanted some more after two times like once I cum I'm done

No. 144419

Normal I guess, but I don't cum easily. I think mostly he'd be fine after one time but he's trying to get me to finish.
we're nearing mid twenties. Okay thanks that makes sense, our relationship is also new. I'll take it as a compliment that he's really into me (for now I guess lol)

I remembered, once he went limp after cumming and he was really embarrassed about it and apologized, he said it's because he's still tired after our previous session (very long drunken sex. After alcohol he can last forever but also my clit goes dead unfortunately).
So I guess I'll have to see if this lasts or it's just the "new girl" excitement. For now, good for me.

No. 144424

Have any of you dated a mostly vanilla guy with one weird fetish? I'm really into my current bf and he's very vanilla, most I can say about him is that he is a switch (like sometimes dominant sometimes subby?). BUT he has a very extreme impregnation fetish. He asks me to drink a lot of water before sex so my waist will get bigger - Like a 2-month pregnant woman. I have no problem doing it since that's his only kink but once we start having sex, I get this extreme urge to pee. I have to make him stop because I usually can't hold it in but it kinda ruins the mood. So anon-chans: how else can I play into his impregnation thing? What other ways can I "look" pregnant? Also how weird is this fetish? I'm also pretty vanilla and he's my 2nd boyfriend so I don't have a lot of experience of what is deemed normal.

No. 144426

I have nothing to add to this but to comment how weird it is to me lol. Like men can barely articulate the differences in breast size or when a girl changes her hair but your bf requests you to drink so much water that you bloat? Some men spend their time on such weird things it gives me an existential crisis.

No. 144427

It’s an extremely weird and bizarre fetish. He is probably consuming weird porn for this to be his only kink.

No. 144430

Yeah I kinda felt like it was very weird too, and he did watch porn before we started dating. I asked him to stop in the first week because I really believe porn fucks your sex life. I genuinely think he stopped but maybe he's still not over it?
I know it's a really specific, weird kink but he's so normal in every other aspect, and he only asks me to do it like 5-10% of the time we have sex. If your bf had this fetish, would it be a deal-breaker for you? Or a red flag?
(idk he also seems to be marriage-oriented/never casual dated etc. so i don't wanna lose him over something that i'm not THAT uncomfortable with)

No. 144431

The thought of having sex with a bloated belly and full bladder sounds… like a pretty intense mood killer for the woman involved in this pornsick fantasy.

I mean he's asking you to be uncomfortable during sex so that he alone can gain from it. I wouldn't allow this to become the norm in your sex life. You deserve to enjoy sex too, you shouldn't have to constantly worry about pissing yourself during sex and he should really consider your enjoyment. Once you give in to these weird requests it's hard to go back, he'll feel entitled to it. Try and nip it in the bud, don't play into it.

No. 144432

Honestly, it would a dealbreaker for me just because it’s so weird. But I would also break up with a guy who wants to do anal, slap my face etc… I totally get wanting a man who is marriage-oriented, I am the same but it is a really strange fetish. My boyfriend is a very marriage-oriented guy and he’s also very vanilla and never asks me to any weird things during sex, and I feel like that’s a good indicator that someone isn’t pornsick.

No. 144439

Is there a way to naturally increase my libido?

No. 144453

if you're not uncomfortable with it, go with it. just be sure to set boundaries and keep them. have a talk with him about how you feel about it and how that would be your limit in terms of weirdness or how often you're comfortable doing it if that concerns you that much. even ask him how he thinks he got into it. if he doesn't respect what you say or he gives you a weird ass answer, that's a red flag.

it's totally weird fetish but sometimes people have weird fetishes. keep in mind this site heavily leans to most sexual preferences outside of vanilla being mental illness or a result of pornsickness. i'd say don't leave him because of a weird sexual preference you personally don't mind.

No. 144461

I'd be careful about having sex with a very full bladder. Overfilling your bladder and trying to bloat out your belly by drinking lots of water quickly, then being penetrated while holding it.. girl that could easily lead to issues. You don't want to mess with your body like that.

No. 144469

Samefag, thanks to everyone who replied, I didn't expect this much attention.
So I took all your advice and messaged him, asking him how this fetish started etc. He said he first started with watching creampie porn and then he moved to preggo porn. the water thing only became a thing since that's the only way he knows how to make bellies bigger. He told me he could stop doing it since he's also fine with just putting his hand on my belly and rubbing/kissing it. Plus dirty talk relating to "breeding". I still don't know why he has an obsession with pregnancy but I guess it's just natural. He's young, probably at his sexual peak, so just subcounsiously wired to do it.
Idk even though it's very weird, he respects my boundaries and it's not like he's ever sexually violent. idk i'll let him have this one.

No. 144476

> I guess it's just natural
He has told you himself it's porn. There's nothing natural about having you find harmful or uncomfortable ways to bloat your stomach out.

Sure you don't want to shame him for the kink but you're rationalizing and justifying it in ways that make no sense. It's not nature, it's a man with a porn habit that influenced his tastes. If he asks you do stuff like inflate your bowels with air or pile on weight then please put your health above his fetish. Keep those boundaries firm for the sake of your health.

No. 144512

That's a pretty normal fetish, as far as fetishes go. Look for bloating without actually needing to pee. Since I'm guessing you don't want to be gassy, try having some electrolytes (add salt if sodium is not present) with water about an hour before, so you have time to pee. Pedialyte is great, though it does have sugar. It's also good for producing natural lubrication.

No. 144533

Since when inflation is a normal fetish anon?

No. 144543

Why should a woman put her body through any of this pre-sex? As soon as you start fucking with your health that's a big nope. She's not a toy for him to inflate whenever his dick wants it. Depressing that anyone would normalise that before say.. addressing the fact that he has an issue. That shit belongs in cartoon porn for a reason. It's not normal, healthy or sustainable.

No. 144560

File: 1595174276854.jpg (73.72 KB, 1500x1000, mom-maternity-poses-007.jpg)

Not inflation, it seems like the core of it is impregnation.
>he could stop doing it since he's also fine with just putting his hand on my belly and rubbing/kissing it.
It seems like the important aspect to him is the "breeding" part.
Honestly if you ever want to rock his world, let him buy you a maternity dress and just hold your arms around your stomach like a pregnant woman with the top hand pushed right up below your breasts and place your other arm sort of around the mons to create the illusion of downward curvature. Even with a flat stomach, most maternity dressed will create a slight effect. If this makes you uncomfortable, don't. It seems like he's willing to work with you, but you have to speak up about what you won't do.

No. 144561

I think it would be very unhealthy for you to keep enforcing this fantasy by enabling him to reward himself with an orgasm. What happens if you guys stay together forever - only have sex when you’re bloated? Wreck your body with electrolyte floods? Endless pregnancies? Say no. Ask why sex with normal you isn’t sexy enough. Ask why you should sustain a fantasy he has conditioned himself into with porn, one that is utterly unsustainable. He needs to be doing this work, not you.

No. 144563

I was about to post pretty much the same take as this. I've had my own experience with fallling into weird porn habits as a teen and tbh I reached a point years later where I needed to condition myself back out of them again in order to maintain a normal and satisfying sex life with partners.

There are limits to what you should expect a partner to do sexually, especially when you start getting into niche stuff or asking that they put their body through unusual steps just to please the other partner. This is very much a 'him' issue. He's the one that needs to work on changing his habits.

No. 144573

Sex under the shower: pros and cons?

No. 144579

I only have cons for you:
1) temperature: i swear it's so hard to have shower sex with a water temperature you're both comfortable with. my gf can only stand it EXTRA hot so I have to burn to get some pussy.
2) slippery: i fell twice while having shower sex, which is a lot since we only did it like 5 times. Maybe it gets better with time as you get used to it.
3) size of your bathtub/shower: if you have a big bathtub/shower it will be ok. but smaller ones really restrict your motion. i kept hitting my elbow to the walls when we had shoer sex in my place, but gf had a bigger one so it was more comfortable.

Also thank you anon for stopping the convo about the impregnation fetish thing. That word grosses me out so much lol

No. 144589

>massaging each other with oil as foreplay
>washing and cuddling each other afterwards
>easy clean up

>can get cramped if the shower isn't big enough
>sex while standing can be awkward and uncomfortable

No. 144593

I feel like i'll never be able to orgasm with a partner. I've tried everything, and nothing happens. It'll feel good if using toy/hands to do clitoral stimulation but it goes absolutely nowhere. There is zero buildup, its like 'oh this feels nice" and that's it. But meanwhile I can cum on my own in less than 2 minutes using a toy. Wtf is wrong with me

No. 144594

You should spend a little time with yourself using a dildo to try to vaginally orgasm. This is how I started cumming with a guy consistently. imo it's something you have to learn, just like how you simulate your clit, cause not everybody's the same– you might cum from certain pressure or from laying in a specific position. Masturbating alone relieves the pressure from performing with a partner and I think if you're patient with yourself you'll get it!

No. 144633

Didn’t expect to see Emma here

No. 144635

It's good for starters (and then move on to the bedroom), it's fun to clean each other, and soapy embraces turn me on.

Also, it can start as a couple shower and evolve to sex

No. 144637

Ya'll I need help regarding teeth/blowjobs!!

Prior to my current bf I've been with a few different guys of various sizes and never had this issue. My current bf has a curved dick (kind of like a banana, curving towards his stomach, around 6 long by 5 wide) and he says every time I give him blowjobs my teeth feel like daggers. For reference, two of my exes were bigger than him and uncut (around 8 long by 5.5 around) but they were relatively straight in shape.
I don’t mean to toot my own horn but my last ex loved my blowjobs. I do have crooked bottom front teeth but it doesn’t seem like it’s my those teeth that are “hurting” him, it seems like he’s feeling it in the back because whenever I try to go deeper he says it hurts. I’ve tried different positions and angles, covering my teeth with my lips but nothing is helping. I don't understand why this is happening because I never feel my teeth touching him, and I've never ever had complaints in the past with anyone. Is he too sensitive, or is something wrong with my mouth? I want to please him but literally every time I try he says my teeth hurt! It’s such a blow to my confidence.

No. 144645

File: 1595271119888.jpg (11.52 KB, 240x240, Liquid-silk-250ml_medium.jpg)

Coming from someone with a small mouth, it's time to start using your hands + lips and give up on deepthroating. It's kind of overrated anyway, there are much better ways to please him. Btw I very much recommend getting pic related for this kind of thing.

No. 144666

How can I get over my gag reflex? I've been seeing this guy and my gag reflex never fails to fuck up blowjobs. I actually enjoy giving head and deepthroating though, so what gives? I haven't had this problem with other people(or dildos)

No. 144667


There's literally a trick to it.

My bf likes when I gag so I rarely do this but

If you tuck your left thumb into a fist and clench your fist, your gag reflexes disappear.

No. 144668

Really? Thanks, I'll try it out. How hard do you have to clench? Iv've heard it before but thought it was just some kind of urban legend.

No. 144684

> My bf likes when I gag
Isn't that a shit experience for you? Like his gain is your loss.

No. 144686

File: 1595336859096.jpg (39.77 KB, 540x720, Restraining-gag-reflex-by-sque…)

Not too hard. You can test it out now on yourself using your fingers in your throat. I meant to attach pic the first time around, oops.

You'll still feel a little but it significantly improves your skills

Eh, I actually am pretty okay with it! I guess I enjoy breathplay a bit so maybe that factors into it.

No. 144704

>I enjoy breathplay

Breathing isn't really not something you should play around with. You can get fucking brain damage from lack of oxygen.

No. 145225

any advice how to be good on top? I want to try it but I'm an anxious inexperienced person so I want to research first lol. For example, saw someone say they thought they have to be leaning in while it's actually better to have straight back.

No. 145226

This, I got brain damage after being choked as a dumb teen, its no joke.

No. 145235

I don't have any advice but fyi nobody can tell you whether it's more enjoyable for you to lean forward or not because it depends on the angle of your uterus.

No. 145236

I wish I had known more about what choking can do as a dumb teen too. So many young women complain about struggling with executive dysfunction, and choking is reported to cause exactly that.
>Victims lose a lot of cognition. They become unable to do any long term planning and grow more dependent on the abuser and less able to compensate for the brain damage as they get older.

No. 145237

just chimming in to say Brain Damage is Not something to risk. This is " Coma Anon" and coma rehab places discharge you with little after care as long as you live " independently" I don't want to blog post ormoral fag but they mean it in a very basic way. You may enjoy it but that does not mean you should risk it, I mean i am sure Crack and heroin is enjoyable but i sure as hell would not risk it as do most people.

No. 145238

samefagging but I was described as making tremendous recovery just because I recognized in the picture exercise they do in Neuro rehab, Bird, Robin, Christmas Cards. (I had 2 post grad qualification by then) They thought it was marvelous i could do these exercises that a small cold could do. I have also been accused on this board of being ESL, Schitzo Anon ( No Idea) and someone else. So even on image boards if you develop brain issues it will be noted. In short breath play is not worth it.

No. 145239

It is a bad Idea. Is there a reason why you want to have one night stand when you have vaginimus? Not all Men are supportive and i would go as far as saying Most or not and you may find your self in a position where they just force it in you. In short anon, don't do it. If you want help with vaginismus go down the medical route, then find a supportive and understanding sex partner.

No. 145240

yeah, I figured it would be a stupid idea. Thanks for your input!

No. 145242

ot but your writing is so good now, kisses to coma-anon!

No. 145247

Lately I have been feeling aroused by the thought of being facefucked by my bf.
I give him normal blowjobs from time to time, but he rarely specifically requests it so I am afraid I am not good at it, maybe?
Also, I do have a gag reflex so I don't see how to try this facefucking thing without it ending in a total mess.
Any advice?

No. 145249

Some things are better in fantasy than reality

No. 145258

You speak from experience?
I don't have many fantasies I'd like to take into irl action, but facefuck is something I could have given a try, were it not for the gag reflex problem.

No. 145265

You don't necessarily have to give up on the dream. I recommend using your hand as a sort of "buffer" so that it goes his dick → your hand → mouth. This way you can control the depth (keep it more shallow) and angle of penetration while still having him in your mouth as he bangs away. Start slowly and once you find a comfortable position he can speed up.

I have very little gag reflex but I still use this method because it prevents any uncomfortable scraping/teeth for him when things get more frenzied (lol) and allows me to catch a breath when needed.

No. 145298

getting facefucked is dope af. just ask him, or better yet, just tell him to fuck your face. he'd probably be delighted. it can get a little rough, so just do it as long as you can and then move on to something else. to me, teeth are a little inevitable during facefucking, but my partner doesn't mind, he thinks it's hot as hell. honestly, it's fun as fuck. make ur fantsy a reality girl

No. 145304

Asfar as fantasies go, it's pretty fun and harmless. I have a gag reflex too and I just tell him not to choke me with his dick.

No. 145322

Sounds like an advert written by a man.

No. 145329

My boyfriend doesn’t last very long and I need long periods of intercourse and vaginal penetration to finish. I don’t know what to do because toys seem like I’m truly “giving up” and really unappealing in my mind- I really don’t like toys or fingering (he mentioned them the last time we had sex, he knows it doesn’t last long enough for me) and I feel selfish for craving good, long lasting sex again and idk what to do

We been dating almost a year and I’ve had one orgasm from us having any sort of sex. I don’t know what to do- the sex is just straight up bad. I’ve tried so hard to be supportive and give ideas for what would work but I’ve never had to direct a guy this much, I don’t know how to give direction for penetrative sex, and it’s a massive turn off that I have to explain and think about this. We live a few hours away so we only see each other a few times a month so I’m really hoping that frequency could be the problem. I’m sorry for blogging I just can’t sleep and this is upsetting me

No. 145338


If I were you I'd just get over your hang up on toys. They'll also help your boyfriend last longer if you're alternating between PIV and a vibrator or something during sex.

No. 145340

How much is "long" for you?
Do you use condoms or not? If you use no condoms you could try having him wear one, because it decreases sensitivity and might prolong your man's performance.
My bf had the opposite problem, because condom wouldn't let him feel properly and he would get soft, but as soon as we got rid of it everything was fine. Maybe your partner is too sensitive and too excited, decreasing sensibility might do the trick.

No. 145345

Sex lasts 5-7 minutes tops. It takes me like 20-30 minutes to finish (it takes that long if I’m masturbating too)- and after I finish once it doesn’t take much effort. I really feel like it’s a time and temperament thing for me, but I don’t know if that’s normal or not.

He’s open to both condoms and toys. I just hate anything that isn’t an actual penis- I don’t even really like masturbating and only do so only a month so it may also be an issue with me.

No. 145371

What if you go for a second round? Some guys I've been with came quick but they'd be ready to go again in no time and they'd last longer the second time.

No. 145389

lmao i'm not a scrote i just have a degenerate kink sry

No. 145409

>He’s open to both condoms and toys.
So have you tried condom or not?
And do you have some foreplay?
However yeah, 5 minutes is not long enough.

No. 145440

I think we’ve only had a second “round” twice, he can’t really stay hard for long when it’s right after.

We have had sex with condoms at the beginning of our relationship but tbh it really doesn’t make a difference- it still is over like right away. There is foreplay, but now that I’m typing this, i realize it doesn’t really get me going the way it should and I should try to make the lead up better so the sex is more stimulating. I also think I kind of psych myself out because I get anxious about how it’s not going to be good and turn myself off. It’s been rough.

Ty anons for trying to help me, I feel like a shitty person for being upset about this even though I know it’s okay to want things to be different/better

No. 145443


See if he's ok with masterbating before you guys get intimate. Maybe like first thing in the morning help with the sensitivity.

No. 145445

File: 1595983967529.jpg (Spoiler Image,13.27 KB, 375x327, fuck this.jpg)

Tips for…neater sex? Lubed or not, a shit ton of dry skin and (I think mostly) tacky cervical mucus builds up on my boyfriend's dick and in my freaking TAINT.

It's repulsing. Is there anything I can do besides having wipes handy?

Thanks in advance, anons.

No. 145449

I had this happen for the entirety of my last relationship. I think it happens when your man pulls out too far and too fast, so air just dries out the dick slick. I think it helps to pull out at an angle (like his balls or fupa is still touching you) or to fuck slower. Maybe try fucking under the covers?

Also, stay hydrated!

No. 145455

My bf takes too long to come. I'm sort of used to it but sometimes I get really tired. Any help?

No. 145456

tell him, he's probably just desensitized himself from porn and needs to use it less but he might just be holding back on purpose thinking that's good, could also suggest he jerk himself off to finish if it doesn't improve

No. 145508

So how easy is sex actually?

I was a virgin until age 22 and I lost it because I was tired of being one. It was absolutely terrible and hurt a lot because I just wasn't ready. I don't regret it though.

I'm almost 23 and haven't had sex since because I have no one to have it with, plus the whole lockdown so I can't exactly meet men.

I have no problem with being inexperienced, but how long does it take to stop being bad at it?

I wish I were more outgoing as a teenager.

No. 145510

it comes naturally to many people, as long as you allow yourself to feel comfortable naked and take care of your partner needs - about which you can just talk. AFAIK I've never been bad at sex even as a "beginner".

No. 145520

I feel like experimenting with a dildo before becoming sexually active can really help, I wasn't about to let a guy penetrate me before trying it out on my own first. I wanted all that control in my own hands while I got used to the feeling. Worked well for me.

I played with toys for a good while before ever getting with guys. Sex never felt awkward.

No. 145524

Have you tried switching into a position that you know he likes very much and cum faster with? Or maybe finishing with a blowjob if he's into it?

>how long does it take to stop being bad at it?
For me it took like 5-6 times for things to get less awkward.
Not being confident with your partner doesn't help though.

No. 145527

My ex was like this and his orgasms started to feel like a chore. I know that he was watching kind of extreme porn before we met (and maybe during, I dunno) so I eventually realised that it was perfectly reasonable to just tell him it's an issue for me to have to blow him for ages after it stops being enjoyable or to fuck him for ages after I'm feeling done. We agreed that if I cuddled up to him naked he'd jerk himself to finish on those occasions where it was taking forever

No. 145537

I think being perceived as 'good' at sex has a lot to do with your partner, like some people aren't into the same things as other people.
The best advice I can give is don't be too in your head about it, pay attention and listen to your partners needs and be communicative about your own.

No. 145544

I like this answer. I agree and think the mechanics of sex are pretty straightforward: part a goes into part b and so long as you aren't laying there like a corpse or banging away so hard your partner is getting their genitals crushed, you're probably doing fine.

But beyond the basics, what really makes sex good is being attentive and communicating with your partner, learning the specifics of their body and trying to do the things they enjoy. That all varies from person to person, so I think it's way more valuable to go into a sexual relationship with the idea that you're starting from scratch every time, rather than coming in with a bunch of preconceived notions that every guy or gal is going to like the exact same things. Because that's definitely not the case.

I also second the recommendation of exploring your body on your own, with or without toys, because knowing what you like makes it easier to explain those things to a partner and be "responsible" for your own pleasure instead of them having to puzzle it out alone.

No. 146425

I've been dating a new guy for around 3 months now and although the actual penetrative sex feels great, he just can't manage to make me orgasm.

I can't come from penetration alone, but my previous ex had zero issues making me come using his hand or tongue.
I've been showing my new guy so many times how I'd like to be touched, guiding his hand etc., but he just can't manage to do it right. No matter how he touches me it just never feels good. Like, I keep showing him where my clit is, but whenever he touches me he just can't find the right spot and even after I put his hand exactly where I'd like to be touched, he just can't seem to remember. It just feels like he has zero clue what he's doing, although he's had multiple partners before me.
It's getting very very frustrating for me because my ex was so good at getting me off. I like him a lot and I feel so bad for him, because he seems like he's genuinely trying. Last night we tried again and after I stopped him (as I was getting sore and bored) he seemed really sad and the sex we had afterwards wasn't as fun and carefree as it usually is..

Is this relationship doomed? I really don't know what to do anymore, and I feel like my frustration is making it even harder for me to actually enjoy his attempts at making me orgasm. It's like a vicious circle.

No. 146449

Whether or not it’s a deal breaker is up to you. Is a partner having the ability to get you off using their tongue or hands a necessity to you? Or would it be okay if he used a toy on you/you got yourself off while he “assisted” somehow? I’m sure it depends on how great the rest of the relationship is, so I’d take a look at how much you like him outside of bed. Even so, it’s only been 3 months, so if this is really draining you I’d cut your losses now rather than suffer through it.

Fwiw, I’ve been with my current partner for over a year and never orgasm from penetrative sex and oral doesn’t do anything for me. I can get off, but I typically take care of it myself either using my hands or positioning myself against my partner’s body. It’s not a big deal to me - I see sex primarily as a way to feel close to my partner and as part of a larger scope of intimacy. I can have orgasms any time I want alone or with him, but they’re not the be all end all. I do, however, really love my partner and wouldn’t want to lose him because he can’t make me orgasm. That’s just me though. It’s okay for this to be an issue for you, especially since you’ve had more success with your ex.

No. 146462

File: 1596651287833.jpeg (4.8 KB, 274x184, 0E9447DD-315C-4BC7-AE37-1819A3…)

I’m having trouble getting wet. I went from being super wet constantly to now always feeling dry. It’s super depressing because now sex is embarrassing because I don’t feel wet and I feel horrible for my partner but he still gasses me up and doesn’t notice a change in fact he said I got better? But I noticed around the end of last year I don’t get as wet anymore and I can’t figure out why. I think it has to do with my period changes because now I get it for a week, and I get PMs symptoms for a week and I think it includes vaginal dryness. I also think it might have to do with my diet and stress from living on my own but Idk. I mainly think it’s due to my vibrator which I bought myself last year for my 25th bday lol. The reason I kinda blame it is because I went from taking at least 30 min to an hr to get myself off to now being able to get myself off in 30 seconds to a few minutes regardless of if I’m wet or not. I read online too that smoking weed can give you cotton vagina? that could be it too because I used to smoke every single day after work. (I stopped) Anyway my question is what foods can I start implementing into my diet that can help with vagina dryness and has anyone gone through this period if so how did you go back to your old self lol. It’s probably because I’m 26 now and my sex drive isn’t as high. But Ly his weekend I got super wet like the old days but I also Got my period like a day or 2 later so now I’m super confused lol Thank you in advance!

No. 146504

Do you use lube? Lube is sooo important.

No. 146505

There's a few things that could be going on, all of which you should maybe see a gyno about but there's some simple things you can do at home. Regardless, dryness isn't something to be embarrassed about. I used to get super wet and then for a year had to use lube and then went back to normal.

I'd use a lube that's specifically formulated for persistent dryness and of wack pH balance. Good Clean Love Restore and System Jo Renew are good for sex and solo.

Menstrual cycle changes could be related to aging, changing medications, stress. I always get more wet before my period now.

It most likely is not related to your vibrator, unless the vibrator is effecting your pH and you're not cleaning and storing it properly. Or if it's a jelly/rubber material, in which case throw it out!

No. 146522

I'm not into sex at all, which I assume is due to "losing my virginity" via rape a a teenager. I do still masturbate sometimes (I don't own any toys). However my bf and I barely ever have sex and when we do I usually just zone out and hope he cums fast. Idk what to do to make it enjoyable for me or to satisfy him without having to go through that all the time.

It uh doesn't help that he is pretty small. I've been with a lot of men in the past (I slept around a lot in college to cope) and size doesn't make a difference for me, it never feels good but I feel like he thinks that's why I never want to have sex even though I've talked to him a lot about my trauma.

No. 146523

Have you done any therapy at all? It (understandably) sounds like you have problems connecting general human intimacy and positive emotions with sex, so zoning out is your way of removing yourself from a situation that could recall trauma. Obviously I don’t know much about your boyfriend but if he’s more concerned about how his small dick affects sex over your, y’know, painful trauma from childhood, then he’s retarded. I do understand that some people don’t know how to respond to heavy information like that, but at the same time, I think it’s pretty obvious when your partner is dissociating and that you should try to help them rather than just attempting to get your rocks off faster. Ffs shit like this frustrates me.

Put simply anon it is possible for you to enjoy sex on both a physical and mental level, but that will require you to deconstruct the damage that was wrongfully inflicted on you. It can be a difficult process and everyone heals on their own time, but reclaiming sex as something fun and positive that you own and you are in control of will make it a thousand times more enjoyable. It is, however, very hard to attempt this when your partner is blind to your struggles either through stupidity or willful negligence. A patient, kind and understanding partner can make a world of difference and it’s sounding like this guy is far from that.

No. 146534


Are there things you like? Maybe there are things you like to fantasize about that can lead you to what you might enjoy sexually. Often we dont consider that our sexuality can be about what we like and does not have to involve penetration or bjs or whatever it is you are doing. If you dont like the sex your having with your bf and it does nothing for you, you dont have to do it. Especially since he doesnt seem bothered enough to stop and work something out if you dont like it, and istead worries about his small peen.

No. 146541

Thank you guys so much tbh I only used lube if my partner had it but and this is gonna sound dumb as hell, I thought i had a whack vagina if I had to use lube. So dumb I know, but thank you guys! I’m definitely going to try those two. I’m excited!

No. 146608

I’m cringing even thinking this lol but when I do doggy my vagina literally queefs like a soda bottle you’re slowly opening after you shake it out so it doesn’t blow all over you. Makes it feel like between the tip and my cervix is like a soft block. Is it just weird and sucks for me? Is he doing something with his dick he shouldn’t? It’s my fave position :(

No. 146615

That's pretty much everyone. Doggy is bad for that any way you put it.

No. 146617

I'm 27 and I've only ever had long term relationships, no one night stands, which means I've slept with four men over 11 years of being sexually active, and I've actually only kissed six men in total. I'm talking to a new guy who seems super sweet (not interested in having sex for the first few months, no pressure to meet currently due to the pandemic although he'd like to), and I'm irrationally concerned that this will somehow be an issue.

Is this rational? Is it something I should mention somehow even though I don't want to? I feel like I'm over thinking this

No. 146620

You're in no way obligated to mention the number of people you've slept with in the past. And IMO 4 partners at 27 is a very normal number. I'm 27 too and I've had 3. You're absolutely overthinking this, don't worry about it.

No. 146623

Thank you, I really appreciate your response - I see so many people with a much higher number that I guess I get paranoid lmao

No. 146624

Fwiw anon I’m older than you and have only had 2 sexual partners. My prior LTR and my current one. Anyone who tries to shame you for having standards because you see sex as something personal to share with a partner you care about is just projecting. Nothing wrong with seeing sex more casually either, but one view is not better than the other.

No. 146625

This made me tear up a bit thank you :( I do really see it as something personal and very intimate. I'm slightly worried I'll be bad at it as a result but like I said the guy really wants to take it slow and get to know each other first which should help me relax.

I really appreciate both of your responses, thank you

No. 146626

There's absolutely nothing wrong with your personal experience, which sounds completely normal.
There is no competition on how many men you need to sleep with.

No. 146627

Never talk about your past sexual experiences in a relationship(unless its something traumatic he needs to be aware of). Its pointless and just causes insecurities

No. 146628

Thank you, I really appreciate that :( I think cos I'm a year older as well I'm putting pressure on myself to be this sex goddess when really I'm not, the guy himself has said he likes the intimacy of knowing and liking a person and making them feel good which is reassuring. I'm definitely over thinking it, thanks everyone

No. 146629

It sounds like he could be a keeper! It’s great you found a guy who’s on the same page.

I know quite a few people who have had a lot of casual sex and (by their own admission) were not very good at it until they found their long-term partner. Everyone is unique and what drives one person crazy may do absolutely nothing for another. My ex for example had been with a good number of women and he, uh. Wasn’t great lol. My current guy has taken the time to get to know my body and what I enjoy and it makes a world of difference. So long as you’re going into things with an open mind and a desire to please your partner (and yourself) I’m sure you’ll be great.

No. 146630

Oh I wasn't going to be like hey I've fucked four men! What about you! I really just wanted to run this past some people anonymously as my friends all have had one night stands and flings and wouldn't be able to relate to this (they have told me several times that I should just get drunk and fuck a stranger to get it out of my system, the idea of which really makes me personally feel bad, no shaming people that do)

No. 146633

Thank you - that's very true, my ex had slept with quite a few women (which he used to tell me about and hold over me cos at the time I'd only slept with two men and was super nervous to start with) and he was not good in bed at all, my last ex was a lot better (and nicer) but never really took the time to get to know what I want (and I was too nervous to start with to get what I want - we slept together the first time we met which was a mistake for me personally looking back) until we were about 2 years into the relationship (together for 4 years, he made me cum 5 times in total lmao)

No. 146645

4 guys at that age is really normal to me. do people fuck way more than that nowadays or something? any decent human beings that i've talked to around this age their number is also around there (even attractive men)

No. 146706

Kinda in contrast to what anon posted about being judged for a lack of sexual partners… is anyone hugely turned off when they find out a man has had a lot of partners?

It's weird because I don't really feel that way towards women who have a high number. It's mostly the fact that I know guys who've been with a lot of women have almost certainly had sex with girls they weren't even particularly attracted to (mind or body) just because they wanted to "get some." I find that so disgusting and confusing.

If you just want to cum, why not wank yourself rather than using a woman you're not into as a masturbatory aid? I don't understand.

No. 146716

Same. But I think part of it for me is that I see women as being able to have multiple desires and dimensions to their personalities (she can have a promiscuous past but still fall in love and commit to one person) whereas I don't believe men are as capable.

idk why, probably because I on-and-off hate men and see them as far less emotionally intelligent on average. I'm even a virgin myself at a ripe age, so it's not like I'm excusing my own actions.

No. 146753

Thanks anon, I'm glad I'm not alone in this. Hearing your thoughts helped clarify mine as well. I agree about women being more emotionally mature overall. Promiscuous women are often that way because of a traumatic past (looking to heal in the wrong way), they didn't really know what they wanted, or even if they did see it as fun - they're willing to own that and grow from there.

With guys their reasoning is often, "Idk I saw an opportunity" and there's just no feeling whatsoever towards the women they may have hurt in the process. That they can so readily dehumanize another individual and have no remorse or deeper feelings about it really skeeves me and makes me never want to have sex again. I don't want to be seen as an expendable toy or tool rather than a person. I've only had sex in the context of long-term relationships but it still feels like if a guy had a lot of casual sex before, I doubt he's really going to see our interactions differently. I know there are guys who aren't like this but I guess I'm just jaded now lol.

No. 147021

File: 1597001471734.gif (316.93 KB, 245x280, nK0xCy4.gif)

my bf doesn't cum–should i ask him about it or just let it be? i can infer that it's probably some mixture of depression/medical stuff/booze. i wanna ask so i can make him feel good, but at the same time if i can draw my own conclusion i don't want to make it awkward or seem like it's an issue

No. 147022

I don't like manwhores because I don't want HPV or herpes, it points to an underlying issue with their personality, I'm scared I'll be just another notch on their belt and they'll get tired of me eventually, and I don't trust men in general. Men who fuck around a lot just seem very jaded and bitter, many are misogynistic and manipulative. I don't want that shit in my life.

Before anyone starts, I don't care about women's body count because it doesn't affect me, since I'm not into women. I also don't see them as any less for it, though I feel bad for some who sleep around a lot and have self-esteem issues.

No. 147035

Being able to talk to your partner and be upfront about potentially uncomfortable topics is so important if you’re hoping for any sort of lasting relationship. Ideally he would have given you a heads-up about this issue (since it’s more obvious with guys) as a kind FYI, but here we are. So if you’re aiming for something more serious with him, yes I would ask.

It doesn’t have to be a big thing, just sometime outside of sexual interaction with him say, “Hey so, I notice you haven’t been cumming during sex. That isn’t a big issue for me because I realize not everyone does, but I wanted to ask if you’re still enjoying things and if there’s anything I can do to help you get there. I don’t want you to feel pressured but I also didn’t want you to think I don’t care about your pleasure, and if it’s something you’d like to aim for together, I just want you to know I’m totally on board.” He can disclose as much about it as he wants from there, but at least you’ll have addressed the elephant in the room and let him know you’re there for him.

No. 147038

I've gone through the stress of HPV and pre-cancer. The vaccine didn't exist back when I was young enough to get it. The guy that I was dating at the time of my HPV and pre-cancer diagnosis bought me an unusually generous gift right after a particularly stressful appointment.. Turns out he had been cheating on me and obvs he thought that spending a couple hundred on a gift would clear his whole conscience.

I eventually tested negative again (two years and many exams and sleepless nights later) but I feel like I'd need therapy before I let someone near me again. Cancer scares are not the first scenario you imagine coming from an affair but as women we really do get the shit end of the stick when it comes to HPV and cervical health.

No. 147087

This is why I'm so scared to start dating again. I'm terrified of getting an STI, for one, but also I'm scared that a guy will pretend to be nice only to turn out to be a sociopath who cheats, lies, and sleeps around. I don't want to be viewed as just another warm hole by an evil jerk.

No. 147244

When I was younger, I thought blowjobs were usually very soft and slow and didn’t require going and further than the top half of the dick/deepthroating, but now I’m hearing that blowjobs have to be quick and require deepthroating to be considered particularly pleasurable-I haven’t given a bj in my life, but is this true or just a porn meme?

No. 147245

A porn meme. I was with a circumcised guy for a few years and uncut before that and both enjoy the tip being focused on. I don't like deepthroating and has my hands as well during a blowjob, no one has ever complained.

No. 147251

Nah depends on the guy. Most (in my experience at least) actually prefer to start slow and gentle. You don’t have to take his full length with your mouth if he’s especially big, and even if he’s average using your hand near the base for added motion and pressure can help help once he wants more intensity. I can deepthroat and my boyfriend says it’s hot from a visual and mental perspective but doesn’t actually feel any more intense than normal sucking. Typically you want consistency more than anything.

No. 147349

What's a good way to initiate sex when ur bf is constantly on his phone?

I've tried to start kissing and touching him but he's like a zombie when he's busy scrolling, he just ignores me. I eventually just give up and let him be.

I sometimes get sad thinking that his boring feed is more interesting than banging me. He is usually more horny whilst drunk but I wish we could fuck on a normal boring sober Tuesday night too.

No. 147352

Have you talked to him about it? You definitely should if you haven't. It'd blow my self esteem to pieces if my man or woman did this to me regularly. Tell him how it makes you feel anon.

No. 147358

Yes, communication is key!

Another thing anon, I know it's hard but try not to take it personally. Whatever reason your boyfriend gives, there may be more going on than he knows himself. Maybe he feels self conscious about having sex, maybe he's dealing with stress or mental issues that are making his libido low, maybe he's having trouble in other areas of his life. Whatever it is, don't blame yourself for anything he hasn't specifically brought up with you. I see this happen to women far too often because we're raised believing we're supposed to take care of everyone else, but it's on other people to treat us with respect as well.

No. 147407

He just says he's doesn't feel like it, he doesn't know why but says it's not my fault. I can't do much but accept that explanation but at the same time I'm starting to feel down from being rejected so much. Because of covid we're stuck at home all the time but when I try to make it a bit romantic with dinner and to cuddle with him, he just ignores my attempts of bonding and starts scrolling his phone. I'm just thinking maybe there's a better way of initiating. I don't want to command him to put his phone away cause frankly I'm also stuck scrolling a lot of the time, but it gets old and boring and I'm craving some intimacy. Any advice on how to initiate after a dry spell would be nice (aside from drinking alcohol together lol)

No. 147418

There is nothing you can do. If he doesn't want to fuck you, that's never going to change. Dump him and find someone who wants to have sex with you. If he can only fuck you when drunk that is a red flag.

No. 147423

I have been the low libido sex-avoiding partner in past relationships, same thing where I would initiate while drunk though. It was a mix of low libido and tbh a lack of true attraction to my partner.

That much of a mismatch in libido/attraction usually leads to an inevitable breakup. You can't force or gently coerce someone into wanting more sex. It is a pretty valid reason for ending things though. You deserve to feel desirable and fulfilled, those are just basic requirements in a relationship.

No. 147435

I agree with the other anons. I'm sorry, but if he's not interested in general then no matter how you approach him it's not going to get better. Your options are either to accept this is how it's going to be (not recommended) or go find someone who is really into you and has a higher drive. Sexual chemistry is a huge part of most relationships, don't accept less than you deserve. And he's right, it's not your fault, you're just not compatible when it comes to this aspect of the relationship.

No. 147440

Is it hard to give a bj when you have a strong overbite? (Not jaw related but teeth related)
Also is it very possible to choke and cough while doing it or when the guy comes or does that rarely happen? I never wanted to do this stuff but my SO keeps asking for it so I guess I'll have to at least give it a try one time…

No. 147442

Does he take any medication? What are his porn habits like?
I don’t agree with the other anons, I’d give him a chance if you love him and you get along well otherwise. If this troubles you for a long time and there’s no possibility for change, I’d think about breaking up with him but I wouldn’t be too quick to break it off over something like this in a long-term relationship. Just communicate.
His libido might not always be lower and maybe something else is going on with him. Talk to him.

No. 147447

> keeps asking for it so I guess I'll have to at least give it a try
WTH anon, that's not how sex, consent or basic respect works

No. 147451

Do that and you'll just teach him that with endless whining (like a child would, not like an adult should) he gets you to do any desired sex-act sooner or later. It will also not stop at just one time. Be wise and stand your ground and demand basic respect. He's disrespecting you every time he asks after the initial no to his request.

No. 147454

This is spot on. Pretty much every friend of mine has had this experience but with anal, you say no a hundred times and then one day you get so fucking sick of the whining and you give in. It's disgusting that they think that's ok.

No. 147486

Is it just me or is the "endless whining" way too common in sexual relationships? I don't think I've ever refused a specific sex act with a guy and had that be the end of it. I'll say no, he gets sulky, eventually drops it, then brings it up next week like we never had the conversation.

This isn't about anyone specifically, more of a general gripe since I've had a few boyfriends and they've all done this EXACT whiny shit.

No. 147497

I'm so confused by this. I feel like your partner not wanting something would/should immediately make it something you also didn't want. Like, if I was interested in pegging my dude but he said no a hundred times before eventually giving in and was in clear discomfort while I was doing it, that would make me feel like a horrendous person and I would not enjoy it.

How are some guys seriously so sociopathic and disconnected from sex as an intimate activity that they don't give a shit about their partner feeling disgusted/in pain/bored yet doing some specific kink in itself is enough for them to get off? That is mentally deranged to me.

No. 147499

>they don't give a shit about their partner feeling disgusted/in pain/bored
That's the main reason they enjoy it. That you'd let them do something you hate, that's a win for them. Thanks, porn.

No. 147531

I disagree.
Anon needs to find out if the lack of libido is due to him not being attracted/in love with her anymore or if it's due to external reasons like depression/anxiety/medication/health problems.
In first case they should break up, otherwise there is something to be done to fix their relationship.

No. 147550

>doesn't cum
probably porn addiction. might be other causes but you should ask him anyway. seems like your relationship is lacking communication. he is obviously incapable of expressing his needs so you will need to push him a bit to open up to you. your fear of hurting him will just cause more problems. and you should definitely put some pressure to him to take steps towards sobriety, as drinking is probably worsening his mental health issues and your sex life.

No. 147574

Not every woman hates giving blowjobs. I think it can be a nice experience giving each other pleasure.

No. 147577

Aren't they talking about 'I want anal' whining

No. 147590

I wasn't referring to any specific act (although it's usually anal or something uncomfortable/degrading), it was just a general pattern I've noticed with almost all of my previous partners. I'll say no to something, they start whining/sulking as if I've offended their dead ancestor, then bring it up again later in hopes of a different answer.

It can really be anything though. One of my exes really wanted to have sex in public (like in a park or something) and would bring it up CONSTANTLY wherever we went. Every slightly secluded place would get a "this would be a good spot" comment. Tiring.

No. 147595

File: 1597431204464.jpg (27.97 KB, 450x415, 132008558.jpg)

Anyone else feel really disappointed when their partner changes their mind about having sex? I love sex, not just as a physical activity but I feel a lot of love/connection with my partner through it. My partner knows this. I told him how much I was looking forward to being with him, straight up say I want us to have time for sex in the evening, then when we both get in bed he seems weird. I ask if he's going straight to sleep, he says "Yes I think so" and that's it.

He had a long day, so I understand he was honestly tired and he's absolutely allowed to change his mind. At the same time, this sort of thing always makes me feel so frustrated and unappreciated. An acknowledgment of my feelings would've been cool at least, like "Hey sorry babe, I know you wanted to bang but let's make up for it tomorrow." It's additionally frustrating because whenever I go out on my own I get a bunch of randos commenting on me so sometimes I feel like complete strangers appreciate me more than my own boyfriend. I try not to take things like this personally but feels bad man.

No. 147596

Thanks, I know this but I feel like oral is a pretty standard common thing and I feel like I'd be a shitty person if I didn't at least try it, despite thinking dicks are just fucking strange and anything but attractive or nice.. Anyway I'd like some answers to my questions because it gives me anxiety

No. 147599

Spent my early twenties in a kink scene where I went to parties with group sex, slept with both sexes and took part in BDSM.. even during all that I had the same issue. Men will find the one thing you don't want to do and set it as a task to get you to change your mind. I swear it's the same as men loving the chase of dating you in the first place. They get bored with loving, healthy consensual fun and they want to push boundaries and treat you like a challange.

The more I've experienced those types of men the more limited I've actually become in my sexual tastes, applying that pressure is about the most counterproductive thing when it comes to a womans enjoyment of sex. Turns it into a chore.

No. 147602

I find it hard to agree to sex in advance. Like I can't commit to sex even later the same day because god knows if I'll still feel like it. Similarly my last partner would be tired from work so I'd send him flirty texts during the day but I knew the chances of sex would be 50/50 anyway

Do you still have spontaneous sex on the regular?

No. 147603

>I feel like oral is a pretty standard common thing
It really isn't. Stay strong anon and don't give in.

No. 147605

We do. Thanks anon, you're right that most people will have waning/rising libidos throughout the day. I probably just built it up too much in my mind. I guess since my drive is high and I would still want it even if I was passing out it's hard to remember at times that most people aren't like this. Especially guys, who are "supposed" to have a high drive but vary just as much as us.

No. 147606

I don't enjoy doing it so I don't do it anymore. It doesn't matter if it's considered 'standard' it's about you both genuinely finding enjoyment in it. If the thought of doing it doesn't get you all wet don't force it.

No. 147663

Has anyone just…kegel-ed the whole time? I usually do it sporadically/naturally but I purposefully flexed the whole time today and it felt great! Am I a n00b for just now realizing this…please diagnose me, anons.

No. 147883

I can only come when I have sex on the side, because I have a free access to my clit. I basically masturbate myself into an orgasm when my bf fucks me. It feels way nicer with him inside, sure, but I wish I could come from just dick, because I love the intimacy of missionary and it's frustrating I can't come from it. I read posts here that it takes experience and you have to teach yourself but I tried different angels, tried using muscles (only learnt that you can send the dude straight to heaven with kegels lol) to no avail. I know it's not the end of the world but man it's frustrating. Give me my missionary orgasm, I deserve it

No. 147885

Sorry, I don't have any advice, I'm just astonished that other women can actually have an orgasm during sex at all. My bf always has to get me off separately, it's like my clit goes numb when I have a dick inside me.

No. 147889

Maybe I'll have some advice for you then. Because with dick inside I have to rub myself with a different technique than the one I use when I'm alone. It's either directly touching the clit (which I hate when I'm alone), like pressing it and moving it left and right, or rubbing myself very low, almost touching the dick base. Idk why but those work but with my usual technique, my clit is numb too. So maybe try this?

No. 147895

probably a guy feels the same way when her partner is not in the mood and says no to sex.
I guess it's normal to feel disappointed for both.

No. 147898

Thanks, anon, I'll try to alternate it a bit. I usually find touching the clit directly extremely uncomfortable but in this situation, it might just work. Good luck to you and sorry for hijacking your post tho!
I've asked about vaginal orgasms here before too and according to those anons, if you can't orgasm from just the dick already, it's basically hopeless. I hope they're wrong.

No. 147906

I'm the same. Can't come during sex and rabbit vibes have never worked for me for the same reason. I really need to lay back and purely concentrate on clit stim if I want to finish. I've heard others describe the numbing effect too so I don't think it's all that unusual.

As long as I have a guy making me come in one way or another, I don't sweat it.

No. 147918

i have this really big fear of penetration. i never put anything up there. even just the thought of putting a finger in makes me anxious. the only reason i wanna try is because it is supposed to feel good, like im supposed to want it and like it.

do you guys think i can go my whole life without penetration or should i just stick a finger in and be done with it? what im mainly scared of is "breaking" the hymen. because i live in a conservative place and i might get married someday. although i wouldnt marry a scrote who cares about it, i think the idea that he might is what makes me anxious.

TL;DR how do i get over my sexual repressed ass and stick something up my vag?

No. 147919

i have no advice because i'm a virgin but i'm on the same place anon. i've never put anything inside of me, i only masturbate through indirect clit stimulation. personally i'd be content just dry humping and having mutual oral sex with a man rather than penetrative sex tbh

No. 147920

I bought some toys and 'broke' my own hymen just to get it out of the way, IME once you experience penetration you tend to start regularly getting a real craving for it. So in a way there's a pro to 'breaking' your own hymen in that sex won't be as painful down the line but there's a con in that it awakens a craving for regular penetration. Which can suck if you don't have access to toys or a partner to satisfy that. I don't know how conservative your home situation is but maybe invest in a small toy if you can.

No. 147923

This was me too anon, I was scared of penetration and never used a tampon (still don't tbh) and never put anything "inside" myself until I lost my virginity. It's up to you, but I was more comfortable having someone else penetrate me rather than myself fumble around.

I don't think it is abnormal, if you masturbate and enjoy clitoral stimulation I never really saw the point in trying anything else that could potentially hurt. It didn't hurt though, in the end.

I'll say that unlike the other anon, once I started being penetrated I didn't ever crave it or want it. When I masturbate I still exclusively do it with clitoral stimulation. Some women do like penetration more though, so ymmv.

No. 147924

>once I started being penetrated I didn't ever crave it or want it
Nta but do you mean you stopped having sex after trying it out once?

No. 147926

no, I tried sex and enjoyed it and continue to do it! I just never specifically want penetration, it is a part of sex to me but it isn't ever what I "crave". If I'm just masturbating, it never involves penetration. The intimacy with another person is nice of course, but for instance I'd not use a penetrative toy by myself. The sensation is just "okay" to me, not actually "good".

No. 147936

Has anyone done non-consent play without ending up traumatized? Seems fun, but also looks like it often doesn't end well.

No. 147968

Depend on the level of consensual non-consent. Imo I would never request or allow "blanket consent" where it's presumed you or your partner can do anything to the other person no matter how they respond. That's just dehumanizing, and not in a fun way. Otherwise, it's not that big of a deal if you have a partner you trust, just like most scenes. If it's a general rape fantasy, have a safe word and safe action for times your mouth may be bound or used for other purposes (like tapping your partner somewhere). As soon as the word or action are used, the other person stops immediately. I've had fairly rough sessions going both ways and no one has ended up traumatized, even with both of us having real trauma in our pasts.

No. 147983

ok so. am a 24 year old complete virgin that isn't sure if she feels fuckall when being intimate with her bf because of nerves or because she’s not attracted to him. while I do think he is cute, I wouldn’t necessarily say hot, I do like him a lot though as a person, we get on really well.

whenever we do anything I am afraid I am doing things wrong or don’t know what to do, part of it is him giving me little feedback or reciprocation. the very first time we cuddled on the sofa I was quite excited and wet but then he tried going down on me and I felt very rushed and way too exposed. it felt like something cold and wet prodding my privates so I made him stop after like 2 min as it didn’t feel like it was going anywhere and I felt uncomfortable, embarrassed and like I am embarrassing him too. ever since then I was bone dry and felt nothing, save for one time I had a bit of alcohol and him touching me did feel really nice. so I do think it could be nerves related due to that first attempt. I’m overall quite a self conscious and afraid of failure and flopping at intimacy at the tender age of 24 feels like a huge failure lol. I am so nervous thinking about this and I know it’s driving me further down the spiral but I really do want it to work out with him. it has been like two weeks and I will see him soon again and I am excited but also terrified.

idek what advice is there to give, I just want this off my shoulders as it feels too embarrassing to talk about with anyone irl. am not on bc or any meds that could fuck me over, am quite stressed, depressed and repressed though.

No. 148002

Lost my virginity at 24 too. I know the shame, anxiety and feeling of failure really well. Maybe it's not the healthiest advice, but if alcohol helped you relax and enjoy his touch… get drunk. That's what I did, it wasn't planned but helped immensely with my anxiety and fear of doing something stupid and embarrassing. After doing it you'll see it's not rocket science, there's nothing to fail at.
So, my advice is to buy some wine and share it on a romantic evening.

No. 148028

Having dated guys in the past where I'd similarly say "he's ok/his face is cute but he's not like, hot" it took me a long time to realise how much I was settling by staying with men like that.

The difference in quality of sex between being with those men and being with a "he's so fucking hot I just want to jump him all the time" guy is huge. By losing it to this guy and staying with this guy you might be signing yourself up to think that sex is just meh in general. Why do we settle for guys that don't excite the fuck out of us? Your partner should get you all excited even if you have nerves there too. You're not a failure, if anything please don't rush to have sex if it's with someone you describe as not even being hot in your eyes.

>felt very rushed, didn’t feel like it was going anywhere and I felt uncomfortable, embarrassed. I was bone dry and felt nothing

Your memory of the first time getting oral from him isn't the nicest memory. It's shitty to be stuck with that memory. Girl don't rush to have similarly uncomfortable sex. You don't sound attracted to him and he doesn't seem to be able to read you well either. That's a horrible combination.

No. 148030

I agree that alcohol can help, but definitely make sure to not drink too much. If you're more than just a little tipsy you might regret how you acted and what you did a thousand times more in the morning.

>Why do we settle for guys that don't excite the fuck out of us?
I get your point, but imo in order to properly assess who excites the fuck out of you and who you want to jump all the time, a bit of sexual experience is needed. I was also nervous as hell to do sexual stuff with my first boyfriend, and only after we did it more I grew more comfortable with it and was able to develop that 'I want to jump him all the time' feeling. So I wouldn't be too quick to dismiss it as not being there.

No. 148032

Yeah I agree that it can take a bit of experience to to really get to that point, gaining confidence with expereince helps. But she mentions a couple times that she doesn't consider him hot and she questions the attraction herself. I'm going off of that too.

No. 148264

File: 1597874399918.jpeg (76.48 KB, 933x614, wait.jpeg)

For real, help me /g/, how do I suck off a massive dick??

I'm dating this absolutely perfect chad-in-the-streets-gentle-and-wholesome-dream-boy-in-the-sheets with whom I have so far had insane sexual chemistry, we haven't had sex yet but I crave that D specifically in my mouth for some reason. But I'm not sure I'll have any idea what I'm doing due to previously only ever dating guys with smaller dicks lmfao plus they were all kinda shy and underconfident so wouldn't have told me if I did something retarded

like what's the sucking motion ideally like?? or the pressure? what other types of mouth motions would you compare the technique to? which parts of my mouth will the pressure come from and uhh pls just help me farmers

No. 148270

File: 1597878554685.jpg (8.41 KB, 220x330, 09905743740.jpg)

Just communicate with the guy and listen to what he likes, everyone is different. Very general stuff that's usually good practice: try to make sure only your lips and tongue come into contact with his dick, don't let teeth scrape against him. Use a lot of saliva, typically the sloppier the better. You can use your fingers in the "okay" motion to grip the lower half of his dick and stroke in time with bobbing your head up and down for more pressure and to prevent gagging if he's big. Also I'd recommend not immediately sucking him off, lick along his shaft and tip, gently run your fingers along his balls and build some anticipation before just shoving it in. Some guys are actually fairly sensitive and too much pressure early on can be uncomfortable.

No. 148277

Do you get turned on while fantasizing about sex with him specifically? Besides that, you need to communicate better with each other. Does he know how nervous you are? From experience, even if it gets kind of awkward or cringey on your end, guys don't mind shyness at first, and he needs to guide you in some way.

I agree a lot with >>148028 though. Even though I'd get turned on while cuddling guys I thought were just okay looking in the past (because physical intimacy duh), starting to go for guys I'm extremely attracted to was a game changer. If you truthfully feel more disgusted than just frozen up from nerves, or don't have any urges at all to do things to him, you may not be attracted after all.

No. 148284

Nta but I’m a little confused. I was in a similar situation with my first boyfriend and I ended up not having sex or losing my virginity with him bc I never felt 100% into it and I figured it was just not meant to happen because you’re supposed to be excited. But you’re saying you have to have sex with someone to realize that you’re genuinely sexually attracted to them? But why would you do sexual stuff if you didn’t already feel that excitement, like wouldn’t that be forcing yourself?

No. 148300

she's trying to say that you won't know you like the food until you take a bite some.

No. 148304

You can fail at sex, speaking from own experience
But it shouldn't be a big deal like duh you've never done it before

No. 148315

If the food looks bad why would you even want to eat it

No. 148325

>my SO keeps asking for it so I guess I'll have to at least give it a try one time
Not really, no. If it was something you were neutral about, giving it a shot would be a nice, game thing to do. But since you actively want to NOT do this, that should be the end of the conversation.

Does it work if he plays with your clit? He could probably manage that in missionary.

There would be no blanket consent, he wants to know what would be okay with me in a scenario like that. I normally love going down on him, but it has to feel voluntary on my end, so we'll be skipping that. Thank for your feedback. I think it will be fun and he has always shown me I can trust him. Any time I've wanted to stop anything for any reason or no reason, he's stopped immediately, and comforted me.

I went through a similar feeling. I'd talk to him fully clothed, outside of the bedroom about this, being open and honest. The right, very patient man, will work through this with you in a loving and respectful way.

Honestly, ask him, but also focus on the head. The meme is taking all of it, but that's not necessary.

No. 148339

I am super terrified of having an PIV orgasm. Sometimes I come very close, but then I chicken out because I'm afraid of loosing control of myself or peeing or shitting or something. I can't really practice having an orgasm by penetration with a toy because I get pleasure from the other person and our dynamic during sex, and I don't really get much out of
penetrative masturbation. I get small and cozy orgasm from my clit when masturbating by myself, but PIV orgasms are supposed to be way different and more intense from clit orgasms so idunno. It's just that I don't know what to expect from it and have heard stories of women shitting themselves when they come, is it actually true? Will I shit all over my partner or fart or go limp? I just want a fucking orgasm without having to worry about gross bodily functions goddammit

No. 148343

You watch too much hentai. Vaginal orgasms are less intense than clitoral ones. I would say they feel the same except you get less feeling of your vaginal walls tightening because there’s a penis in the way.

No. 148344

Is this for real?

No. 148353

Why are there so many posts lately about women chasing PIV orgasms like they're meant to be infinitely better than a clitoral one? They're really not.

>I get small and cozy orgasm from my clit when masturbating by myself

What about with your partner, are you getting clitoral orgasms from them?

No. 148355

I can't believe I am going to type this, but… No, you will not shit yourself because of an orgasm. I promise.

No. 148357

Why are you lying to her?
Just tell her the truth, it's no big deal anyway and most men don't care.

No. 148362

Lmao you're mean anon but I like it

No. 148369

It'll be okay. Talk to your partner outside the bedroom about this if you must, but it's really not a thing that happens. If it did happen, he'd still love you. I once thre up all over my bf and he helped me get cleaned up and comforted me. If he'd leave you for it, he's not the one. But again, you won't lose control of your bowels.

No. 148371

We absolutely need to be louder aboutthe cummies related poopage, anon. If you shit on him and he leaves you, he doesn't deserve you.

No. 148372

anon, just read the thread. Don't worry about penetration, 90% chance you won't feel anything either way lol. "Vaginal" orgasms are a fucking scam, just rub your clit

No. 148496

so uh… update i asked and it's because he's too used to fapping/hasn't had a gf in some years (which probably means too hard of a grip + pornsick). there's really nothing i can do about it is there

>that feel when idk if i'll ever make him feel as good as the random ladies on the screen did

feelsbad ;~;

No. 148497

I mean you could save yourself the further humiliation of dating a pornsick deathgrip-fapper and move on knowing that even while most men do watch porn.. their dicks usually still work in irl situations.

You deserve fulfillment and you don't deserve to have this mans many problems tear into your self esteem. Especially if he's abusing alcohol, be careful.

No. 148554

Okay so Recently I been getting bored af of my mans sex. He is literally boring the hell out of me during sex. I don’t know how to explain it he just does… nothing? He wants missionary or doggy while he humps in silence and doesn’t even seem that into it. I’m actually shocked he cums from it like two times everytime. No moaning.. nothing. I have tried suggesting to him that we get more freaky and he losen up a bit. But it’s still the same boring sex. He takes pride in it too.. I don’t get it.

I feel so guilty for thinking this way. And it’s making me consider other men.. I love everything about him though I am just bored out of my mind. He doesn’t want to do anything different. There’s no way people have sex like this everytime. He’s also my first… what do I do..

No. 148575

It depends how often and how seriously you’ve spoken to him about this. If it was just, “Hey babe, could we maybe try something different now and then?” once and he kinda brushed it off then that might be naivety/not realizing how big of a deal it really is to you. I would sit him down and explain that the lack of variety and vocalization is seriously affecting you and making it so sex isn’t fun. Let him know those things are truly something you need, and I’d be ready to offer some examples of what you want to try – he honestly might not know what else you’d like.

No. 148581

Your bf is circumcised. Its not our vaginas- its circumcision. I had the same problem when I was with my ex. Foreskin is supposed to be there to help with lubrication and gliding. Best advice I can give you is use lots of artificial lube & ask him if he's interested in skin restoration- there's a lot of info about that online

No. 148707

I have upgraded my old corded Hitachi magic wand with a new cordless one. What's something I could for a send-off that would destroy the old one in the process? It's not exactly the sort of thing you can donate to Goodwill.
>so uh… update i asked and it's because he's too used to fapping/hasn't had a gf in some years (which probably means too hard of a grip + pornsick). there's really nothing i can do about it is there
Mine had a similar situation, and giving it time helped. He did not have to stop masturbating entirely. In the mean time, ask what you can do to make him feel good, and let him know there is no pressure for him to cum. He should be fapping less hard, and if he's watching non-vanilla porn, it would be good for him to stop. Remember that the male orgasm shouldn't be the focus of sex, anyways. Intimacy is the most important thing with sex.
Have you suggested anything specific to him? More variety is so broad.

No. 148752

My SO is too gentle to have exciting sex.
Our sex life is generally fine and I enjoy it, but he's a bit vanilla. When I asked him about his kinks or maybe being a bit rougher, he mentioned that he'd feel like he was degrading me or objectifying me and that doesn't feel right to him. On one hand I think it's really sweet that he finds being respectful so important, but on the other hand I think it's perfectly possible to have kinkier or rougher sex without any degrading going on. Having sex in any way other than super lovey and intimate reminds him of porn too much and he doesn't want that sort of thing.
Is there anything I could tell him to maybe make him reconsider? It's not like I'm super kinky and I wouldn't want to force anything on him.

No. 148753

I'm in the same situation, anon. We have some routine sex and some really passionate romantic sex and he's the first man I've met who isn't a degenerate coomer but I still wish he could just hold me down and fuck me sometimes or push me up against a wall and kiss me or something (which is still pretty vanilla tho). He thinks this stuff is degrading but I just think it's passionate. So… I don't have any advice for you but I'm in the same boat, waiting patiently for any helpful replies.

No. 148763

When even cat calling is taught to be as bad as rape in western society, educated and gentle men will play by these rules and never dare to do something that might be judged as toxic masculinity.
Inb4 scrote.

No. 148764

Well, nah, I don't think this has anything to do with it. I doubt that my bf has encountered a lot of people with that mindset. Also "never dare to do something that might be judged as toxic masculinity" is definitely an overstatement, who tf said that?

No. 148766

>educated and gentle men will play by these rules and never dare to do something that might be judged as toxic masculinity.
If boyfriends of >>148752 and >>148753 anons were into rougher sex, they would engage in it once receiving consent, this has nothing to do with "society rules" binding them or whatever. Men are often expected to be domineering and rough while plenty of them really are not into power play and degradation and only like vanilla stuff, which should totally be normalized. You can't force your kink on somebody else.

No. 148767

I’m >>148753 and I don’t even want kinky sex, I’d just like him to be a bit more forward sometimes, like initiating by grabbing me/pulling me in and kissing me or something. Other than that, I’m very satisfied and I’m more than happy to be with a dude who isn’t into power play, weird kinks and degrading shit. Don’t know about the other anon tho.

No. 148777

You're very lucky, it's hard to find a man like that. Grabbing you, pulling you in for a kiss isn't really degrading though, that's a big reach. Maybe do it to him - grab him, be more passionate, and afterwards ask if he felt degraded or bad. I'm sure his response will be no. Then you can be like, SEE? Basically prove to him it's hot and not degrading at all.
May apply to the other anon, depends on what she means under "kinky" and "rough".

No. 148787

Not sure if this is the best thread for this, but how much do we get the fabled post-orgasm clarity?

Is it a good idea to masturbate while you're taking some time alone to figure out if you want to be with somebody?

What if I think masturbation was one of the things that led the relationship to this point? We talk a lot about pornsick men, and I don't watch porn, but I genuinely think that my frequent masturbation and fantasizing made it so that I'm less "present" during sex and enjoy it a lot less than I did before (when I was touching myself less and fantasizing about tamer things).

No. 148852

In most cases, it's not worth it. Porn makes you a shitty man. My ex had this issue, limp dick and all, and gave me hell for not looking like an overly shooped twitch egirl with giant fake tits which destroyed my self confidence. Best thing I did was leave his ass lol

No. 148990

Okay so I have been with my bf for two years and at first he was terrible in bed because he kind of had broke dick from jerking off too much plus watching too much porn. Like he'd have a really hard time cumming, lose his erection halfway, needed more extreme things to get off. After a while we decided no more porn or jerking off solo so he can let his dick reset so we can have less disappointing sex. So now it's good and he can get it up and cum, but we're having the opposite problem where he cums in under 3 minutes every single time we have sex. I'm not really sure what to do to fix it; I'm glad he's not asking for outrageous shit and jerking himself to numbness but also 3 minutes is disappointing. I've tried using distraction or stopping midway to continue after a short break but it either leads to soft dick or he just cums anyway without us even doing anything. Has anyone else had this problem? Any tips for trying to fix it?

No. 150560

I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time and I’ve been having spotting the last few days ever since, and had cramps the day of&after. He was super gentle and careful (it was his first time, virgin) but his dick is huge and I guess must’ve hurt me somehow, though it never felt painful, just very full. We spent a good hour trying to even ease to get it in me, I was aroused, wet, & we used several fingers beforehand but it was still a tight fit. He said his dick went numb and it was “uncomfortable” because of how “tight” I was on him. I’m at a loss, idk what to do. How are we supposed to have sex if even gentle minimal movement makes me bleed & his dick goes numb almost instantly? I’m mad.

No. 150595

My boyfriend doesn't really pick up on when I want to have sex.

I'm up for it quite a lot but I don't think my boyfriend really takes my hints (I've tried like rubbing up against him a bit in bed or like playing with the waistband of his pajama pants).

The last couple of times I've had to explicitly say "I want sex", but is there a less demanding way to make it clear without being so subtle that he misses it entirely?
He's pretty oblivious to most things but I'm hesitant to just start full on grabbing his dick or anything because that feels like a big no. Any advice would be appreciated.

No. 150597

Ask if you can full on grab his dick, if he says no then try to figure out a different way. But he may say yes.
Your hints really are pretty subtle, I usually would start with caressing and kisses, if a person engages in that it means they're interested in intimacy so you're off to a good start. These usually suffice to get my bf hard in which case I proceed with "grab a dick" protocol; tends to be an unmissable hint.

No. 150603

You can keep trying if it doesn't make you uncomfortable. I think I have a smaller vagina, my first bf that took my virginity had a big dick. We had great sex for about 2 and a half years and then I couldn't take him anymore, there could have been other mental factors idk but I basically had that vagina tightening thing with him, could only take his fingers. He use to always hit my cervix.

I had difficulty sleeping with a black guy too we never got it in and after 3 attempts ended our dating saga lol.

Had great sex last 5 years with a guy with a much smaller dick. He's never hit my cervix but he had me cumming every time.

I don't know if it's discussed much but I do think girls can have size preferences, and not always wanting bigger.

No. 150636

Why do I still get UTIs from having sex with my boyfriend if he has good hygiene and I pee after sex? It's okay if I take a furagin preventively but that will suck when we are able to see each other everyday. I won't take medicine everyday forever.
Could it be idk, condoms causing the infections? Any other ideas? Before getting sexually active I'd very rarely get infections btw.

No. 150639

Are you using latex-free condoms? Whatever protection you're using now could be irritating you, so might help to try a few different brands.

Some of this might sound obvious, but just mentioning them because they might be easy to overlook for that same reason. Drink lots of water to ensure you're "flushing" things often. Maybe rinse yourself more thoroughly with a washcloth after sex and change your undies.

I used to get regular UTIs from my boyfriend as well (he has good hygiene and we weren't seeing other people, plus no physical protection so nothing else was affecting me). I took D-Mannose for a while to help combat them, which did help. It basically stops bacteria from sticking to the urinary tract. At some point I stopped taking it and while there were a few rarer infections, I don't get them anymore, so perhaps my body adapted. Could be worth a shot.

I don't know much about furagin but it seems to be an antibiotic, so definitely not something you'd want to take consistently. D-Mannose is just a sugar/supplement so at least it would be more gentle.

No. 150668

I'm using latex because they're the safest; are they irritating? Maybe the lube they're covered with has some bad ingredient. Now when I think about it, we reached a conclusion they smell like shit and switched to fruity ones for one pack and it was a bit better I think? I don't remember having UTIs every time. Yea I'm drinking a lot of water and really upped my genital hygiene, it seemed to work with the fruity condoms.
Maybe I'm on the right track here with the condoms, or maybe it's unrelated. Either way thanks a lot, I didn't know about D-Mannose! It's a bit costly here but it's worth trying if there's a possibility I could build up some sort of immunity. That would be really great

No. 150691

You might have a latex allergy - that can cause symptoms very similar to a UTI. The lube could definitely be an irritant as well, I know certain ones with spermicide in them can lead to problems, or maybe there was some other chemical causing issues like you mentioned. Sorry to hear D-Mannose is pricey where you're at. That's good you've seen an improvement though! Maybe it was just your former brand of condoms and changing it up will continue to help.

No. 151618

It seems obvious, but one of the biggest causes of UTI that I used to see at work (ob/gyn) was because the penis touched the woman's buttcrack before penetration. Make sure if he slips and it touches to change to a new condom no matter what. The other major cause was dirty fingers. If he's touching your clit or fingering you and his fingers and fingernails aren't pristine, you could be getting an infection from that. Make sure he washes his hands before he gets anywhere near you. They also make little latex finger condoms that he could put on first as an extra barrier.

No. 151788

Can I get pregnant if I rub my vagina on the side of his dick, but not the tip. I keep my hand over the tip and wipe off precum with a towel as I feel it. Also, this is before his ejaculation. No type of contraception used. Is this risky or okay? Thanks.

No. 151836

Not very risky but still risky. You can never be sure you wiped it all off. Bare cock should never touch your vag. Sperm cells can live up to few days and it takes only one to impregnate you.

No. 151854


I used to get UTIs all the time, sometimes they'd last for months. This is the routine I started that made them clear up forever:

>Pee before sex, pee after sex.

>Even if it's just a few drops.
>Avoid glycerin-based lube (bacteria feeds on glycerin, gross I know).
>When you poop be SUPER conscious of contamination.
>Use different toilet paper between vag and butt. Wipe front to back obviously. Use a bidet / water bottle/ baby wipes after pooping so no lil poop molecules are hanging out, getting on your underwear etc.
>Cotton underwear only.
>Opt for showers whenever possible. If you must bath, no ph-altering bath products like bubble bath.
>Drink water, try eat healthy is always good advice blah blah, but high protein diet will literally change the PH of your urine and make UTIs less likely.

Sorry I sound like a hobby subreddit for vagina owners* but this is all I did and I'm not sure what helped me and what was pointless. I just did a bunch of research and kept the things that made sense to me. I've been UTI free since January so something's working.

Also you can buy pee sticks in bulk online so you can test yourself for UTI bugs (they're called leukocytes) without making a doctor's appointment.

*they'd probably ban it bc vaginas aren't real

No. 151880

Not a high risk but there will always be some risk when a penis is in contact with you there. My first few months of ever being intimate with someone we only did 'outercourse' I still got put on the pill first and waited for it to have enough time to work. Better to be safe.

No. 151881

I've been UTI free for 2 years. The only change I've made is being single again lol

In both of my relationships I found myself so prone to getting them. I tried everything that I could to prevent them and still got several a year.

Thing is I still masturbate alot now, I have toys that I use all the time so there's still penetration happening to me.. but no more UTIs. My fingers and my toys don't cause them but as soon as a penis goes near me.. guaranteed to suffer afterwards.

No. 151890

The same thing would happen to me. I take d-mannose before and after sex and that helped.

No. 151902


I know I’m way late to this subject, but I just found this board and I’m surprised no one has answered. I’ve been with four guys, and all but one of them gave oral without hesitation. The one who didn’t was my first, and an all-around selfish prick in all other aspects of our relationship.

No. 151906

Oh gosh, I didn't know that.
That's true you can never know but I definitely did not let my vagina touch the tip. It was completely covered by my hand. And this occurred early on in our session so he had not cum nor released that much precum.
Sperm lives on the outside of a dick for a few days?
I am 19 and I feel like I have nowhere to learn about these types of things. I wish there was a website that explained every act and its risk.

No. 151944

No you wont get pregant doing that unless you are the holy virgin mother herself

No. 151945

Rubbing a dick on a vag is definitely lower risk than inserting it but sperm often finds a way lol
The bigger issue here is probably the chance of getting carried away in the moment. That's how you get started 'I'll just rub it on the outside' Taking small risks and then worrying about it afterwards isn't a good sign. Have a serious conversation about birth control if you're already at the stage of rubbing your junk together.

No. 151957

Sperm will find a way even if nothing goes inside me (fingers, etc)?
And I understand, I was very adamant about not going further than that though and I never would permit anything more without birth control. But I will not do that again if there is a small risk, I just wasn't aware of it. Should I take a Plan B?

No. 151960

>wish there was a website that explained every act and its risk.
Anon I don't want to be mean but there are many guides aimed at teaching young people about sex online, just avoid any that are religiously affiliated
From all you've said you should be fine because there was no penetration of any kind or semem splashing about but you need to be more careful in future. It's best to use a custom even when you aren't having PIV just in case

No. 151979

Thanks so much, I google things all the time but the links that always come up are quora, yahoo ask, or other places where the answers are unverified/unqualified so these are great. Thank you.
Okay, got it. I appreciate the consistent replies.

No. 151987

Ok girls I need some help
I'm high libido and have finally gotten into the swing of things and figured out how to orgasm reliably everytime, but now my boyfriends sex drive has dropped (I think its a combo of the honeymoon phase being over, his own insecurities, and just low libido from being very underweight) how do I go about fixing this shit? i feel embarrassed bringing it up and wanna know if im doomed to only having sex once or twice a week in my twenties. can it be resolved? do i force him to take manly vitamins? should i move on before it gets worse? can i be happy just masturbating? i feel like this kind of hellish lack of intimacy is why people have affairs

No. 151988

Diff anon but I was so surprised when the NHS factsheet started talking about peeing and shitting on people. Was not expecting it to go there.

No. 151990

maybe break up with him if the sex issues are too much, unless you love him or something gay like that

No. 151995

I do feel rather gay towards him but everytime an issue comes up it just adds on to my frustration. Oh, you said something insensitive to me? And you're not even having sex with me on a regular basis? shit like that.
But im an abandonment issue adult, I have a lot of fear towards bringing up issues/breaking up with people because I think im gonna regret it and slowly die in a post breakup depression.
I just wanna bang.

No. 152013

File: 1600568133842.jpg (17.44 KB, 259x259, Ea-AhFtXgAMWzYJ.jpg)

I'm in a long term relationship and I only feel confident to have sex after I've just shaved and he only feels confident after he just showered. It makes it tough to get in bed together and our sex life has gone down quite a lot - we used to fuck 2/3 times a week and now we have sex maybe twice a month.. Any advice to change? I'm wondering if the solution is to literally just fuck as we are lmao

No. 152016

Shave more often so you’re prepared to have sex and take showers together as foreplay so he can shower off but you can like, give him a handy while he’s doing that.

No. 152017

Check out/fit/ for supplements that increase his t. And if he's underweight he might not be getting enough cholesterol to convert it. Also dudes get insecure about shit and beat themselves up about, especially when it comes to anything sex related. It's frustrating, but approach with care.. and it seems like you're already doing that.
I don't know why this happens, but I've talked to other friends it's happened to and deal with it myself. I think that it's just a matter of getting over it and just stay on top of maintenance whether you think it might happen or not, same for him unless it's literally right before sex. Why does this make us so insecure?

No. 152019

ive cursed the whole situation by talking about it and found out hes now on anti depressants. the worst type as well, all my friends have said it made them aggressive freaks (who of course can't nut at all) i've decided since ill probably never have sex again anyway i'll also get back on my old anti depressants and we'll just be fucked up together without any sex for as long as this goes on

No. 152036

How would you realistically describe the feeling of PIV sex? I had fun reading ridiculous descriptions about it on quora that was likely written by men or wannabe sex novelists. Also made me realize how hard it is to give a real description of how it feels and how clueless men must be about it.

I personally think the thrusting is slightly uncomfortable and eventually my vag goes numb so I barely feel anything at all. PIV sex is more a mental thing for me, like the concept is hot but it's not particularly stimulating. I have a hard time believing the quora descriptions that says shit like "it's like being caressed on the inside" or "you can feel every fold and ridge of the glands" like wtf lol.

No. 152043

My boyfriend has a larger than average penis. Unfortunately for me my doctor has to use a child size speculum to give you an idea on my situation.

Anyway, sex with him hurts. A lot. I can deal with his girth just fine but not his length. Every time he thrusts too deep I feel him hit my cervix and it's horrible. The first time we had sex I was doubled over and in pain for a week. Found out later he had knocked my iud out of place…
It's really not an issue of lack of arousal for me so please don't suggest lube or more foreplay.

Anyone else have this problem? Advice?

No. 152044

>"it's like being caressed on the inside" or "you can feel every fold and ridge of the glands" like wtf lol
Lmao of course that's bullshit. I'm with you on that, sure it's nice to have a cock inside but the mental image and emotional closeness is what makes it hot, the act itself not so much.

I'd say - suck on your thumb, that's close to what PIV is like if you cut all the emotions and sexual arousal out of it.

No. 152049

PIV sex is going to feel different depending on the vagina and dick participating. If the dicks on the smaller side you'll initially feel it go in like a pop almost lol and then idk, like a tampon? Ime PIV is only uncomfortable if the guy thinks taking his dick fully out and then sticking it in again is optimal. Just ruins the flow.

Bigger dicks you'll just feel more full or sometimes your cervix will get hit and be sore.

I agree with anon above. It's not the physical act that feels hot in PIV but the emotional connection. If there's no emotional connection I'd prefer just to get fingered lol

No. 152053

If you've told him that thrusting deep is painful but he hasn't stopped then that's a red flag. If you haven't told him yet then you have to and he'll just have to deal with not thrusting all the way.
Other option is just don't have PIV sex with him. It's literally useless to do it if it's painful for you. Peg him or something.
Quite frankly there's no other solution (except leave him I guess) because you can't make your vagina longer.

No. 152058

I have a low cervix and partners are usually very understanding of that. Even one night stands are if I just say "hey I really don't like my cervix hit so just be careful of that" Any man ignoring that should be shown the door.

Your experience of having sex with this man is that 'every thrust is horrible'… Girl why are you having sex with him?? Has he honestly not noticed that he's giving you this almost traumatising sexual experience?

No. 152068

You could try positions where he won't hit so deep. Just google something like "sex positions for big penises" and you'll find tons of women's mag articles with instructions and illustrations.
Also tell him to stop/not thrust all the way, wtf anon don't just take it if you're in pain.

No. 152070

For me, the first thrust feels really good and fulfilling and if the guy is really aroused I can feel his heartbeat through his dick. After that, it kinda stops feeling like anything unless the guy hits my cervix which just hurts lol.

No. 152079

File: 1600630407067.jpg (22.72 KB, 500x375, tumblr_p7iligjcCv1vdbx3no1_500…)

It only feels good if the dick goes not all the way in, like doing little thrusts until fully inside. Then when it's fully in it's just meh. Times I did sleep with a guy I only went on top because it's so easy for it to hit the wrong places. Honestly after getting a dildo I don't feel any desire for real piv.

No. 152081

can you all orgasm in normal "relaxed" positions? Not talking about sex positions but your body. Because I realized I can only come in a particular position - where my legs are strained straight, hips a bit lifted, so I'm like a string. When I'm close, I can feel the tingles in muscles go from my clit to my toes and the pleasure hits. If I relax one leg, the feeling of upcoming pleasure is gone immediately. I flex and ding!!, it's tingling.
What's about that?
I think that may be why I can only come when sex is on the side (I can do the string flex). Is it possible to change that? I'm trying masturbation with changing body position when I'm close to orgasm but I don't see any effects really…

No. 152085

My legs naturally tense up when I'm getting close, it helps to build up the tension and yeah I think if I tried to bend or relax my leg I would have a very hard time getting there

No. 152086

File: 1600633931091.jpg (36.06 KB, 900x411, mri-clit.jpg)

Certain muscles in the leg interact with the inner clitoral body, it's normal.

No. 152087

So this is why when I orgasm many times I always have really sore leg muscles the day after. TIL.

No. 152088

Probably just gotta stretch your lower body more

No. 152091

Didn't know that, but suspected. But my problem is that only flexing those leg muscles straight makes me finish, so I won't orgasm on top for example.

thanks for you input, so it's not necessarily "me" thing

No. 152099

does anyone else have sexual fantasies about people in your real life, then feel awkward as hell when you're around them again? for example I have this coworker, I think about having sex with him all the time when I'm not at work, and us cuddling naked by a fire (lol) then when I see him again all of those fantasies pop back into my head and I feel like he can read my mind lmao.

No. 152289

I am terrified of getting pregnant but I really wanna lose my virginity. I wanna put on a IUD before so I am thinking about buying a dildo to fuck myself so I won't be a virgin before putting it in BC they don't put IUDs in virgins. You guys think it's worth it?

No. 152295

Not sure where you live but where I am they always seem to want to start you out on the pill or patch when it's your first time going on BC. Might be different in other countries but it's hard to get a Doc here to agree to it right off the bat.

You might aswell get a toy either way though. A few other anons have mentioned that they used toys before their first time. I did that and I liked having that control over my own hymen. Just buy something made of a safe material like silicone. Stay away from jelly/rubber etc

No. 152307

> like a tampon?
lol if you feel the tampon inside of you this means you have not inserted it correctly, anon.
the feeling of the dick inside of you really depends on the level of arousal for me.
when I am really horny and super-wet it feels great, like a need being fulfilled you know, I just want him to keep pumping it inside me and fill me.
it's more meh when I am not 100% into it, and not being wet enough makes my pussy feel soar afterwards sometimes.

No. 152309

No. 152311

why not just use a condom, though?

No. 152312

Where can i learn hot to do erotic massage? The dick massage. All I seem to be getting are porn vids if I search for it. Any advice?

No. 152324

I was going to say this is just a hand job and don't overthink it, but apparently there's more to it. It's called lingam massage, there are some techniques discussed here: https://beducated.com/mag/lingam-massage

No. 152325

when i actually am turned on, or sometimes just randomly, it feels pretty nice. just like a full feeling that hits a nice spot. cant orgasm from pure PIV but if you get into it, its still a good feeling
i can only nut dangling off in a weird L position (him facing sideways me kind of forming the bottom part of the L) with my legs slightly spread while I take care of the clit. I don't think its an issue honestly and i've looked into it, its hard to change these habits because they form very early

No. 152335

The position you described is normal, Anon. It's one of the easiest ways to reach the clit while a guy penetrates you.

Everyone I know does this. (Except that one girl, you know the one that can come from piv)

No. 152345

thank you anon!

No. 152346

To me it feels like someone hits just the right spot, like there's an itch (but not really itchy) that needs to be scratched. But I've only experienced it with one partner. With the rest it just felt like nothing. A bit uncomfortable when the person enters me, that's it. Really boring lol

Me too mostly, but I want to learn to do it while being relaxed. I think it can definitely happen, I was just never bothered to really experiment with that. I think it's really common tbh

I think trying to be ok with it is the right and body positive/progressive answer, but you should feel comfortable doing it, so maybe take a shower together right before.

You could try laser or waxing if you're ready to invest more into it.

No. 152726

I don’t know if this is the right thread for this, but I’ll try it out. My boyfriend and I went through a completely dead bedroom rut from February til recently, and now that we’ve started having sex again, we’re doing it frequently and it’s great! We had amazing sexual chemistry before and still do. However, I’ve noticed that he’s more violent in bed than he was before we stopped for a while. I was into lightly rough sex and we’d talk about it before doing things, where he’d slap my tits sometimes when we had sex and lightly choke (more like hold my throat with no pressure). I would do the same back because he liked it too. Now, he’s surprised me by slapping my face and vagina, the latter of which is something he never did before. Not gonna lie, I don’t mind it, it’s not hard at all and doesn’t hurt. It’s something we talked about a long time ago, but he’d always ask before doing it and hasn’t recently. It’s just weird that he’s taken such a dominate role where he was more submissive/equal. He’s also finished on my face twice, again, without asking, and I don’t mind, but he literally never did that before. He’d always finish inside or on my torso/chest. I don’t think he spent that time watching porn and jerking off—at least I didn’t think that at all until now. Now I’m starting to wonder if he was a bit porn addicted during that time. We only started having sex again when we truly almost broke up over it. I don’t even know if it’s a problem since we’re having sex again and it’s enjoyable for both of us. I’m not bothered by the things he’s doing except for the fact that it’s so different compared to his bedroom behavior before. Am I overthinking it?

No. 152727

Honestly… You are not overthinking at all. Everything he does sounds like straight up pornhub videos ( confirming as a dumb-chan who was addicted to porn during teenagehood, regrets were made.) I think you still need to set some sort of boundaries, at least talk about how often he can do this or that because the things sound very alarming. I would personally feel very uncomfortable if my s/o would do all of this all of the sudden WITHOUT me asking. Me and my s/o always talk about it / ask eachother if we would want to do things such as choking or rough slapping etc before getting into act, because we both know that one of us might not feel like it and I think thats important.

No. 152733

6 months of dead bedroom and then he starts doing rough shit without asking first… yeah this does sound like a porn addiction. A dead bedroom when you're only dating, not married with kids or anything yet isn't a great indicator and again having to wait til you were about to split to start having sex again isn't great. Hard to know what to advise here, his porn habits seem to be kept pretty secret from you so he's going to remain secretive even if you do confront the issue. That and
> but he’d always ask before doing it and hasn’t recently
> again, without asking, and I don’t mind, but he literally never did that before
He had no way of knowing if that was okay. What's he going to throw in there next with absolutely no discussion beforehand?

No. 152734

Yeah, porn definitely influenced my tastes when it comes to rough sex. Since we stopped having sex for months and I started learning more about porn addiction and its influence on both men and women, I’m not particularly interested in it anymore, but it’s not a turn off either. Like I mentioned, it’s nothing painful or dangerous—even with the “choking,” there’s no actual pressure applied, as we’ve talked about how neither of us are into breathplay, it’s just the feeling of being held there and possessed by each other that we like. It’s just weird. Different. More frequent than before with his bedroom demeanor being much more dominant. I’m a little worried about talking about it because I don’t want to scare him off from having sex again, but I’m sure we will. We have really open communication about everything, which is why if it was something like porn addiction during that break, it’ll be alarming and heartbreaking because it’d mean he hid it from me really well..

Thank you for your perspective, I agree with you. I suppose I knew the answers and all that before bringing it here, it’s just better to know I’m not crazy or overthinking it.

No. 152736

>He has no way of knowing that was okay
That’s true. I feel like a lot of the other stuff I can kind of look past because they were part of our bedroom dynamics at least sometimes before, and we talked about it, but the finishing on my face thing is extremely out of the box. I don’t think I ever mentioned being interested in or okay with it in passing either. It’d been a non-issue. Just weird as hell, I don’t know where else he would go from there.

I thought the dead bedroom was just from the incredible stress of his job and him feeling uncomfortable with his body since he put some stress weight on, which I didn’t care about and thought was cute (I am a simp 4 him kek). He kept claiming he just didn’t feel sexual and did specifically say he wasn’t jerking/getting off in its stead, which I believed until now. Just don’t know what to think at this point, and it’s hard to decide whether to press it or not. Thank you for your response! I don’t expect expert advise, I just really appreciate some outside perspective from you guys and trust this place to be honest, especially about sex/porn and men.

No. 152738

I wouldn't want a guy to finish on my face and in all my time and all my partners (serious bfs and not so serious) no man has ever just spontaneously done it. It's not something you can just confidently go for without knowing first. That's pretty fucked up.

Going months without sex because he doesn't want it.. then having this done to you without him even checking because he did want that.. I wman wouldn't it be nice to have an actual fulfilling sex life with a man who cares about what you want?
>I am a simp 4 him kek
It's hard to imagine the appeal

No. 152739

>I don’t want to scare him off from having sex again
anon he's the one who's doing rough sexual acts to you without permission.. He's not a poor baby who can't face criticism or reflect on his actions. If you calling him out on rough sex acts without permission "scares" him out of having sex, he's playing the victimcard. Talk to him about it and make sure he doesn't turn the whole thing around and make you sound like the person who's in the wrong.

No. 152741

Never having sex with this man again sounds ideal tbh. Are we giving second chances to men who pull that shit?

No. 152745

The dead bedroom has been the only issue in our relationship, albeit a big one. He’s a wonderful person and partner otherwise, and during sex he does put my pleasure and orgasms before his own and always has, even with the weird stuff going on. Like I said, it’s not stuff that it’s an turn off for me, it’s just different than the norm/his previous demeanor and I’m wondering why.

You’re 100% right, thank you. Sometimes you just gotta hear things you already know.

No. 152746

Alot of people would argue that 'sex act without my permission' and 'otherwise a wonderful person' don't belong in the same sentence

No. 152748

This might be controversial, but I don’t think my boyfriend of a year and a half finishing on my face without asking and me not stopping him in any way is comparable to rape or sexual assault.

No. 152750

That's what we're dancing around here. He had never done it before, you had never talked about it being okay, you said the subject had never come up before. He didn't ask right beforehand. There was no way for him to know it was ok. You're on here looking for advice because it didn't sit right with you..
>sexual assault
You are the first one here to actually use those words btw

No. 152755

File: 1601141739706.jpg (55.71 KB, 720x960, tumblr_oz6tnwy8mn1qzfsnio1_128…)

does using a strap on even pleasure the woman wearing it physically? does it rub against the clit at all or do women just use it because they find it 'mentally' arousing to penetrate their partner?

No. 152756

If you look up 'strapless strap-ons' they do stimulate the wearer a little. They can be a bit hit and miss though

No. 152757

I’m more here because I’m wondering if the change in dynamic after a stint of dead bedroom was porn influenced. It’s odd behavior, but I know for a fact he wouldn’t have done it if there was any indication I didn’t want it. Imo, being together for that long and having a comfortable sexual history means that sometimes, you can do things in the moment or physically ask, so to speak, and trust your partner to say no if they don’t want it. We’ve operated that way for a while. Again, I know that might be controversial, but I hope you understand what I mean there.

I said “sexual assault” as shorthand for “sex act without my permission” because I feel like those things are interchangeable, and I do think someone can commit a sexual assault (and rape ofc) against a their partner. I don’t feel sexually assaulted by my bf in any way with this, though.

No. 152759

Probably been asked before by others but me and my partner don't really have sex anymore. most is twice a month, actual PIV sex and other times is just me giving him oral. I'm also usually the one initiating it…He doesn't really touch me or do anything like that for me anymore.
We used to do it a lot when we first started dating 3 years ago…He couldn't keep his hands off of me!
But now… I'm just thinking there's something wrong with me.
Sex to me is just one of many ways I can be physically intimate with him, so, I find it a kind of special time together…
Maybe I'm thinking too much into it . He's probably more tired since he's a bit older than me, so, I guess I shouldn't complain too much.

No. 152760

> We’ve operated that way for a while
But you've been sexless for a while. A third of your short relationship has been spent deadbedroom. The flow gets kind of messed up when a couple just doesn't have sex for 6 months.

Whatever the reason for that (porn?) if your bedroom goes dead after only a year together.. I think you were right when you were about to leave. A dead bedroom that soon into dating? Read the deadbedroom subreddit and tell me you want that future for yourself lol. Most of those people at least had good sex before their kids came along.

No. 152761

I've had PIV slow down a bit at around year 3 but we were both getting oral a couple times a week. Does it not occur to him to return the favor?

No. 152765

Samefagging just to say that ex was older too so I think between that and him working alot, oral was just easier to do during the week and full sex happened more on weekends.

He was sometimes lazy about returning the favor during the week but I worked out that if I just asked him on a sat or sunday he'd dedicate time to looking after me.

Have you noticed if he's more attentive on his days off?

No. 152774

sorry in advance, not sure if this fits here or not

but anyway, my ex would watch hentai instead of regular porn because he didn't like seeing buttholes. ever since then I've had this weird complex about my butthole, I don't want to have doggy style sex even if my asshole is bleached and shaved. is this a normal guy thing, or was it just my ex?

No. 152776

Ime a lot of guys love assholes… but I fully understand his squeamishness too. I'm bi and it kinda bothers me how close the two holes are..I only eat pussy in certain positions because I don't want my nose in an asshole basically.

I wouldn't get a complex over it

No. 152778

It's definitely just your ex. Current bf and previous two bfs were all very interested in my butthole.

No. 152780

Imagine bleaching and shaving your asshole kek. This is why men feel comfy shitting on women.

No. 152781

>all very interested in my butthole
Nta, god this is too relatable. And I personally fucking hated it.

No. 152783

>my asshole is bleached
I’m astonished that people actually do this. I’m intrigued. What made you (or anyone reading this who has done it) decide to go through with it? How is it to have your asshole bleached, I mean the process? Sorry for derailing but it just never occurred to me that people who aren’t porn stars or prostitutes actually do it.

No. 152784

this thread scares me
>t. virgin

No. 152789

I don't mind it, but I'm not in the mood for anything anal-related like 95% of the time. All of them have also tried to eat my ass and I could absolutely not handle it. It just felt slimey and ticklish and I made them stop immediately lmao

No. 152790

NTA but it's not that expensive to get your asshole bleached professional. I'm pretty sure you can even order products online that afaik are safe, and do it yourself.

No. 152793

I know, I just don’t really understand what makes people do this. Even if I did it for my boyfriend, he would most likely be weirded out and I would feel pretty stupid knowing that I just spent money to bleach my asshole.

No. 152799

Try to imagine men bleaching their balls for women

No. 152801

How are we allegedly the "sexual selectors" or whatever and yet we're pressured to do all this bullshit?

No. 152802

File: 1601166598076.png (729.49 KB, 856x933, custom_character__harpy_by_sak…)

Exactly, imagine if we were like birds where rape isn't physically possible. Everyone would be beautiful and rarely any disease. Maybe if men all had microdicks the world would be a better place.

No. 152805

Yes, if males were beautiful like birds of paradise and hell-bent on building you a nest/home and them mating for life while pecking at dangerous creatures that may come by. Then singing. How cute.

No. 152816

Yea if we can get compared to lobsters or whatever tradfucks say then why can't we wish for society to be more like birds in those ways. smh

No. 152820

Ass eating was the thing mine were all obsessed with, I'm really not a fan of the sensation

No. 152862

Because then there's technically still ducks, which are pretty well known for raping with their spooky duck dongles. So here we sit, back at square one with ideals of Chad birds and whatever the rapey chan-equivalent of ducks would be.

No. 152869

Ducks have dicks. i'm talking about birds that have cloachas

No. 152874

Ok, fine. I want my new bird husbando to be a Mynah then. Viva la bird husband revolution.

No. 153140

What's your experience with period sex?

I have to vent a bit. I had it for the first time yesterday, but it was already weak flow. It was kinda awkward; we had usual foreplay, I stopped him and said I was on my period. He went silent lol, I could tell he's disappointed. I said I'm okay with sex and is he? He said he doesn't know, asked if there's still a lot of blood, I said no. We kissed some more, I had to go to the bathroom to take out my cup, came back, asked for a an old towel or tshirt to put under my butt, we had sex then I went to insert the cup again - I don't know, awkward.
I heard girls say they orgasm more/better during their period but it was duller for me than usual. Maybe because he didn't touch my vagina area at all during foreplay. In general, I'm glad we did it because it seemed like my bf's first time with blood. On the other hand, when I think about it I can feel a sour grimace coming up on my face. I know we're just used to blood because of all the years of menstruating and it's more uncomfortable for men, but still, his reluctance made me feel a bit bad about it all.

No. 153141

I just refreshed the screen, but feel like a stalker replying this fast.
K, get a lumma disc. They're b1g1 always and amazing for period sex

No. 153146

I always get stupid horny during my period. My last ex was pretty unfazed by blood so to me that was some of the best sex I've had. We were at a point where bodily functions weren't say overshared.. but we were living together and pretty comfortable

Knowing your partner is truly cool with it makes a huge difference. Sounds like you weren't convinced

No. 153152

The men I’ve had sex with regularly (about four) didn’t care at all. I can’t imagine being with a man who is fazed by period blood. Although I can kinda imagine him thinking it is strange if it was his first time with blood, but being able to learn to appreciate it or to just not care. We’re just so used to the blood, as women. How old are you two?

No. 153215

One guy I was with once made a comment about how loudly I moan (tbf it was summer and his windows were open and he was afraid that someone would hear us) and ever since I've become superconscious about it even though it wasn't even a pornstar scream. Is there like a normal amount and or volume I should moan at? Lol I do realize how ridiculous this question sounds

No. 153218

My bf doesn't care about me being on my period at all. He won't eat me out while I'm bleeding obviously, but he doesn't mind fingering me or anything. I think it 'helped' that I had my period for about a 6 month period with just a few gaps in between as a result of shitty birth control side effects, so that desensitized him to it even more.
Generally I'm more horny on my period too, but sex can sometimes feel less intense because too much blood can mean too much lubrication/not enough friction while having sex. This will depend on the size of your man though.

Don't be self conscious about your moans! I'm pretty sure that 99% of guys think it's super hot. As long as it's not a room with open windows in the middle of the day right above a busy yet quiet street you're fine. I love when my bf moans loudly, but one time we had sex in the afternoon in my room with open windows. They opened to a street that regularly had playing children in it and neighbours walking their dogs, and I did feel really awkward about that as soon as I realized they could probably hear it. Doesn't have anything to do with not liking loud moans, just privacy.

No. 153224

I haven't been with a single guy who has cared, they have been just as exited as usual. And they have all been pretty inexperienced, pretty sure I'm the only bloody cunt they've fucked. Even been fingered and gotten oral if they have been horny enough.

Younger guys are pretty desensitised to periods where I live though, they just view it as a normal bodily function and don't really make a big deal out of it, like older men here do. I think girls here are more scared of guys thinking its gross, than guys here think its gross. Or they think its gross, but sex is better so they don't give a shit.

No. 153376

period sex anon here, thanks for the replies. Okay, if the topic comes up, I'll tell him guys usually don't have a problem with it, talking from my gfs experience (lol). Maybe that will help him feel like it's not anything weird.
He's way more experienced than I am in general so his reluctance and lack of opinion on period sex caught me off guard. He must have been completely denied it from his previous partners.
I don't think he would finger me though, he really kept his hands to himself, which is kinda sad. But maybe that will come with experience. I hope I won't stupidly feel awkward because of it the next time.
we're 24.

No. 153392


No. 153398

I’m sorry he reacted that way anon. It is nothing to be embarrassed about and plenty of people have PIV intercourse while on their period.

My fiancé make a joke of it if things get messy and just clean up afterwards. Period sex kinda hurts for me so I don’t know about the orgasming more part. It isn’t a dirty or shameful thing, just a part of life.

No. 153409

Anons, I need advice. So, I'm a virgin, but my boyfriend (and possibly the man I want to marry) isn't. I'm not religious in the slightest, nor do I believe in saving yourself for marriage but something about him not being a virgin doesn't sit right with me. I know he hasn't had many partners and is far from experienced and I would never blame him for liking girls before knowing me, but there's a part of me leaving me restless thinking about it. How do I get over myself, because I know I'm being irrational?

No. 153415

I was in this situation with my bf but it never bothered me for some reason. Based on his personality I knew that despite having more experience, he wasn't the type to hook up a lot even when single and I trusted he was truly interested in a relationship with me and not just sex. Maybe try to find the root of why it makes you restless– are you worried when you have sex he will compare you to past partners or judge you for being inexperienced? Are you worried he still has feelings for any of them? Just something to think about. If you are self-conscious of your lack of experience maybe you can talk to him about it and get some reassurance. If it is jealousy or possessiveness because of his past, honestly the only thing you can do is mentally work through it and remind yourself that those past people aren't relevant, and you should trust that he is with you because he loves and wants to be with you. Idk, I hope this helps some

No. 153467

Anon above gave you very good advice. I'll tell you something from my own experience, because I can relate.
Before my bf I also was a virgin, he on the other hand is very experienced. I only learnt that after losing the v with him though. I'm also weirdly uncomfortable with this and it has nothing to do with religion or morals.
What helps me is thinking that past is past.
He was in a different place, he was a different person. He's with me now and I can tell he loves me. There's nothing to be self-conscious about. He chose you! Those girls are just a distant memory.
Tbh it's best to not feed those thoughts. Let them come ang go. The sexuologist I know doesn't recommend asking about sexual past at all, because most people can't handle the answers. Of course there are people who just don't care. But if you're not one of them, focus on the present and if you start feeling bad, confront those irrational feelings with your bf's feelings for you.

No. 153469

whaat why is it the first time I'm hearing about menstrual discs. So basically it's like a cork on your cervix? Isn't the string problematic during sex? Like the dick moving it and moving the disc out of place? Do you use it only for period sex or in general instead of menstrual cup?

No. 153470

Thank you so much anons. For me it's a mix of possessiveness and the fear of being compared to his past partners, but I'm doing my best to get over it and the advice has helped a lot!!

No. 153486

I'm this anon, I'm not sure if anyone cares for updates ITT or not, but I have one!

We talked, and when I asked him about it and straight up asked if porn had influenced his taste/it was something he watched a lot of while we weren't really having sex, he seemed surprised that I thought that and said no. He said he just "knew that I liked that stuff and wanted to make up for not having sex for a long time with really good sex for me," kek, I laughed and said he didn't have to do all of that and then we had normal sex and have been having normal sex since. Pretty minimal rough stuff, and what does come feels more natural. In case anyone was wondering. I still appreciate the advice and insight from everyone!

No. 153489

Nta but it'd be way easier for you to just google them and look at images of what they are than for someone to try and explain them. There is no string.

No. 153490

File: 1601564980806.jpg (23.21 KB, 1200x800, 2173b04189759194452555d514c765…)

there is a string in the lumma disc from the lumma store though. Of course I've googled and read the general explanation but why not ask someone who seems to have actually used them

No. 153492

File: 1601566187139.jpeg (92.15 KB, 1100x825, discs.jpeg)

For a long time pic attached was the only real disc that was on the market. Have only tried those oldstyle disposable ones and found them so messy to put in and take out that having regular old period sex was easier. There was less mess and fuss involved by just going ahead with sex ime

No. 153493

Thanks for the update, glad things are going well for you. It sounds like you guys have really healthy communication and good on you for directly asking him about porn instead of letting it worry you. About your original post, if you don't mind me asking what got you through the original dead bedroom issue?

No. 153494

I would look into couples therapy. You have no real answers on why sex died off so soon into dating. Your communication with each other in bed was pretty lacking once you started having sex again and this post gives off the vibe that he's only having sex again to 'make up' for all the times where you haven't been having sex.

Issues like that require a bit more work. Not trying to be negative here but this sounds like a band aid that will fall off again in no time.

No. 153500

Thank you! I'd say we do. Obviously our relationship isn't perfect, but our ability to communicate and get through things without it delving into a pity party or finger pointing is pretty solid. I think we managed to get through dead bedroom because sex, while important, never has been the crux of our relationship. We get along, support, and love each other in so many other ways that while yes, it was and definitely became a bigger issue over time, it just wasn't enough to want to end it. We talked about it openly throughout, and even though it was hard at times, he actively showed me he loves me in other ways and vice versa. And of course, with it getting too hard/bad, close to ending things, he put the effort back into having sex and getting over this mental block he put over himself regarding sex (which I hadn't mentioned but is something he brought up when we talked about it.)

I'll consider it if it ever happens again or if other things pop up. I'm not against it at all and don't think he would be either–he even talked about going to therapy regarding his inability to have sex with me himself even though he didn't end up going through with it. I do understand why we weren't having sex, and tbh that's probably why we didn't for so long–trying to give him the space and time to be comfortable with himself, to be less stressed, etc, basically lots of stuff that would take too much time to unpack here. I agree that it might come across as sounding like a band-aid fix, but I promise that in person it doesn't feel like it and that the answer makes sense for him/our dynamic. Again, though, I see where you're coming from with the info given and appreciate your perspective. It's not something that I won't keep in mind for sure. Like I said in a post previous, I came here because of the honesty and perspective LC has when it comes to men, porn, and sexuality.

No. 153501

The last guy I dated had a thing for making women squirt. I have mixed feelings around that because I've had interstitial cystitis for years and the sensation of needing to pee is in my head linked to alot of pain that I've experienced over the years. I did like being fingered and I did like a bit of gspot stim but I also didn't like intense pressure in that spot. It tends to increase the severity of my symptoms too.

In my first few weeks with him there was a couple of incidents where things got too intense and I said to stop. I said it, I pulled at his hand and I tried to close my legs/recoil away from it. He didn't stop. He refused to because "he could tell I was so close" I told him I didn't even want to, I told him it was hurting me. I cried one of the times and I think he saw it as some post-orgasm emotional release. I felt pain, I felt violated. He got his 'squirt' that he wanted to see but I wasn't orgasming, I was having my bladder forcibly emptied by how rough he was. My bladder felt like I was dealing with a bad UTI in the days that followed but taht's just IC when you irritate it like that. After that I stopped allowing him to do it, full stop. We stayed together for another 3 years and had PIV and oral but I never let his hands near me.

This was years ago and it's only really dawned on me lately that it's a disturbing memory I had tucked away. It's not an act I can imagine myself being comfortable with again. I feel like I would sympathise with any other woman who told me that story but at the same time it wasn't a penis being forced on me.. I don't how to feel.

No. 153503

Ok, so you stick your finger into your vag, and assess how easily you can touch your cervix. The further up it goes, the larger the disc you can get. They come in S, M, L. You could get 2 Medium sized ones and probably be golden, but if your cervix is really low just go for 1 small and one medium for sex. You wash it, sterilize it with a steamer thing, and rinse it really well again before first use. Fold it in half by pinching it along the harder part of the silicone at the top and carefully insert it squished together with the open part facing up til it's fully in, obviously the tail will be the last to go in so that you can retreive it later. If your cervix is tilted, you might have to go in at an angle. Ok, so to make sure that you don't leak when you use it, you'll need to make sure it's in and has actually gone over your cervix. So once you have it pushed in, take a clean clipped fingernail fingertip and push it in further. Push the string in and off to the side because it's fucking annoying.
You can trim the string down to only one segment or completely off. Keep at least one around that has the string for easy retrieval. If you do trim the string off completely from the one, that's the one you should have the most success with during sex. Make sure that it's trimmed against the side as smoothly as possibly, if that catches on foreskin and it's rough it's going to be uncomfortable for him at the minimum. To get the stringless one out, you'll bear down a little to get it back from behind your pelvic floor and have a finger ready to retrieve inside. You'll hook the top and carefully remove it. Not really that messy once you get the hang of it. Take it out and pee as soon as you're done with sex. Just pee every time after sex anyway. Wash it with fragrance free, oil free soap and pop it back in.
It's great for the whole duration of your period, don't go over 12 hours with it in and check it every 2-3 hours if you bleed a lot. You can exercise with it in too but might want a backup pad, even leg presses. If you poop and it's close to full, it'll autodump for you and release some into the toilet. Just clean finger it or kegel it back into place over your cervix and your gtg.

No. 153504

Oh anon, that's fucking awful. I don't really know what I or anyone can say to make you feel better or take away the pain of that memory, but you should know that you're always allowed to stop or not participate in a sexual act that hurts you or you just plain don't want to do, and that him forcing himself on you like that was a violation. I'm sorry that happened. He didn't deserve to touch you like that, and I'm glad you enforced the boundary of not letting him again. You don't have to feel any sort of way about it all the time. It can and might fluctuate, but overall, it was incredibly not okay, and it's normal, understandable, and entirely valid for you to feel violated because you were. Him being your partner doesn't change that. I'm sorry.

No. 153527


I'm sorry this happened to you anon, if doesn't matter that it wasn't a penis being forced on you like you said, I'm pretty sure it is digital (fingers) rape. Remember that consent can be withdrawn at any time and your future partners have no right to touch you without your permission,stay safe anon.

No. 153547

Hi anons, I’m dating this really really lovely guy we’ve been seeing each other for about 2 months. I’ve been on countless dates with him and I just love being with him. We’re planning to go away for a night somewhere and I think we’re probably going to sleep together. I’m still a virgin but we’ve done pretty much everything else except having sex. Is this too early to fully sleep with him?

No. 153549

It's entirely up to you! If you feel comfortable with him, and from your post it sounds like you do, and if you want to have sex, by all means go ahead and enjoy.

No. 153587

Thanks for the kind advice anon!

No. 153606

>planning to go away for a night somewhere and I think we’re probably going to sleep together, I'm still a virgin
Just keep in mind that booking a trip doesn't mean sex has to happen. I've known virgins who felt pressure to lose it because there was a hotel room being paid for… if you want to then go ahead but if you want to just stick to whatever foreplay you've already been doing then that's cool too. Just don't feel like you're expected to because of a trip.

No. 153618

I've been together with my boyfriend for four months and he's wonderful, aspie like me and endlessly kind, I really enjoy our growing relationship,

In the time we've become intimate, he opened up to me that the only way he can get off is involving hooded sweatshirts, he's fixated on things like the hood, texture and hems, and he's never told anyone because he doesn't want to feel ashamed of it. I've been happy to embrace this despite how unconventially weird it is to him, and I have never met anyone prior to this with such a fetish.

We recently had a rough patch for a month and I've noticed, even though before he'd grown to be very attached to being intimate with me and him wearing them, his current fixation during the rough month (where we haven't been flirtatious) is back to just being satisfied with fixating on the hood or hems of his own ones he uses. His fantasies are less "I really want to fuck you through this hoodie and be close to you" lately and more "I really want to just fuck your hood" and fixation on his own,

I know he goes through phases of fixations in general like I do due to being spectrum, like with songs and albums, but how can I rekindle the intimacy we had where

should I just give it time? Originally, it happened naturally, and having always wondered if he was ace, when he did develop urges to have intimacy with me wearing the hoodies and not just by himself involving the hoodies he then became really fond of what he could do to me under that- he was more interested in things like my reactions and the thrill of it being with me, myself.

I know it's mostly down to the fact we had a rough patch, and we're only just coming out of said rough patch, so I'm trying to not take it personally and I've just been assuming that if I let him process things however is most comfortable, he'll come to me and involve me more when things between us feel comfortable again.

Sorry, I know this is a really weird one, I guess the TLDR is: boyfriend who used to think he was ace has very specific fetish, involved me in it the more he fell for me, now that we've had a rough patch it feels more solo again.

No. 153619


sorry, unfinished sentence, * where it involved the both of us and it was thrilling?

No. 153620

anon im sorry but that's like…too weird. he needs help

No. 153622

It's only been four months and that sounds so. Odd and difficult to deal with as a partner. He wants to fuck…the hood of a hoodie? Is that what I'm understanding?

No. 153623


It's definitely weird, I've been in several longterms and everyone's had their own kinks, he thought he was ace/aro for a very long time prior to us becoming friends and later dating and he's grown more and more in love with me, I've talked to him about this before and it started when he was very young, and in some ways it sort of works with my own kinks too even if I know he is a bit strange for it,

He's completely loyal and in general all around a wonderful bf and I have no issue involving his fetish into our bedroom life- initially I didn't even expect us to have one, I don't think he did either!

but he grew to crave intimacy with me and once this pandemic dies down I'd be curious to see how he reacts to me in general, outside of the clothes so maybe I'll have to update.

He's pretty honest about the act that his aspergers is probably a huge part of this and I've done my own research of it too, how it isn't uncommon for them to have less interest in typical sex in some ways, but when he's missing me he'll talk about how someday he'd like to try intimacy outside of the hoodies- so it's not completely off the cards. He just hasn't had a chance to see me through all of this for us to find out,

by all means it's weird, trust me, I think that a lot, but I'm still glad he's comfortable enough he'd share it with me, than pretend he's into things he isn't. It's been an emotionally hard month and maybe I'm overthinking it but I think he's retreated into his shell because prior to this he confessed to me that out of all the years of hoodies exciting him, nothing he's seen has ever excited him the way that the idea of being intimate with me does

No. 153627

Well seeing as you're so accomodating of his highly unusual kink.. are you orgasming with him regularly? Is he returning the favor and getting you off?

No. 153628


Because of long distance and how this year has gone, not in person, but absolutely over the phone and text, the sexual tension and excitement between us has always been really good, but since September and the rough patch I haven't known how to re-initiate it so it feels like an elephant in the room…

No. 153629

>want to fuck you through this hoodie
How do you do that? Not being mean, just wondering what that even means

No. 153630


that's okay anon, sorry if this is too explicit- he means for me to be in nothing but one, but he'll toy with me through and underneath it, sometimes through the hem but he wants to try full intercourse after we've been able to meet up again (long distance) so he seems to have started to move away from it being through fabric, he gets fixated on seeing how he can get me off,

but with long distance and our rough patch that was over a month I don't know how to go about seeing if he's still into me.

No. 153631

Don't feel like you have to settle for someone with a whole range of intimacy issues and weird sexual fixations just because you two share a diagnosis. It honestly sounds like he's dealing with a whole other level of autism than you.

No. 153632


bless you, I appreciate this, it's okay, I definitely don't feel like I have to settle for him or anyone, and I'm with him for a multitude of positive reasons, us both being aspies is just a small bonus thing we have in common and he understands my own difficulties and as a result emotionally, he's brilliant. His sexual fixations are by all means weird but prior to this rough patch (which was emotional) we were much more heated sexually and I suspect that it's because of that, that he's seemed a little more distant,

He's definitely the more "still struggles with certain issues" half of the two of us but we've got a good communication and bond between us and he's always stuck through my own difficulties. I'd like to help him through his, somehow.

I do promise that if his issues did cause us longterm difficulties, I would put myself first, and I wouldn't let his fetish control my life.

No. 153633

How often do you two get to see each other? Is there a plan to close the distance?

No. 153634


We're hoping before Christmas, and yes, there is- I'll probably come back and update, right now over text and call, I've tried to be brave and I've left him something racy for him to see after work. In fairness, since we argued, I myself have avoided doing this and he overthinks too so there's a chance he's not initiating it because /I/ have been avoiding it

No. 153636

This doesn't sound like a relationship

No. 153638


why doesn't it? we live four hours apart, his family are high risk as are mine, so we're sad we can't meet right now but we message and call a lot

No. 153641

>boyfriend for four months
>rough patch for a month
>how can I rekindle intimacy
>used to think he was ace
>has very specific fetish for hoodies
>long distance
>hope to see him before xmas
That's the worlds most depressing relationship. Two autistic people sexting and him rubbing himself off into hoodies whenever you do meet… Is this a troll?

No. 153643

This is an advice thread, not a "be a dick" thread.

Those things are very concerning, though, anon. I'm glad you're going to put yourself first if things continue to be weird or get worse, but you really should be mindful of these things and ensure that you're getting all that you want out of this relationship as well. Men, aspies are not, are more selfish and seem to think they can get away with more. With your question being whether you should wait it out…I mean it's already been a month out of a short, LDR. Are you willing to continue feeling alone? I wouldn't, personally, but if you do want to continue, you need to be upfront now.

No. 153644

I had an in clinic abortion about a month ago and just tried to have sex again finally and had horrible ptsd and it was very upsetting feeling my bf hit my cervix. I cried and im worried im never going to feel safe/sexy/pleasured by sex again.

No. 153645


no, I'm not a troll, genuinely, we liked one another when we were friends for a while before we started dating and I can tell you that he makes me incredibly happy, I haven't felt this comfortable with a partner in years and years, you can say what you want about him, if I hadn't mentioned the fetish and just mentioned everything else, you wouldn't be making a snide remark like this, I came to ask how to rekindle the intimacy after an awkward rough patch and I had to give context to said fetish,


Thank you, I think I'm going to talk to him about it- he's so so supportive and he always wants to discuss if anything is up, maybe I should just be frank and clarify if us flirting less during the rough patch was because it felt wrong and not because he's not into me anymore? He is an all around wonderful person and despite how odd his fetish might be, I've grown to not mind it, and I've enjoyed our kink play. It used to be that, but it became "god, I love you so much, I'm so attracted to you, please dom me in bed" but we haven't been physically together because of the distance and covid it's…agh

No. 153646

It's only been a month. That's really not a long time from the procedure, and even if it's something you wanted or needed, that's still physically and mentally traumatic. You'll heal, anon. If you can go to therapy or find a support group of sorts, maybe you should go? Or talk to your boyfriend about it? Either way, it's not something you should have to carry alone. I'm sorry, and I wish you the best of luck. I do think you'll be able to enjoy sex again with time and healing, though, I really do.

No. 153647

I already gave her advice, I'm the same anon that had a bit of back and forth with her and asked several questions to get some more background. It is either a terribly depressing 'relationship' or a troll. I quoted all that to help her see how bad it looks from the outside. To give it perspective.

No. 153648


right, and I answered your questions and you sorta just belittled me, you're not really giving any advice then. Just being overly judgemental. I've seen anons here have to discover their bfs are unfortunately into like, pedo things or animals or other morbid issues. To you it might be depressing but I chose to date him knowing his kinks and we've made it work. My concerns were about establishing if he was still into the idea of intimacy with me after a rough patch over a long distance.

No. 153664

You've made the mistake of indulging in the sexually divergent behavior of someone with a developmental disorder.
You are now having a "rough patch" after only a couple of months of long distance dating and you're wondering if there's an intimacy issue.
It's bleak anon.

No. 153667


The rough patch wasn't regarding said fetish or sex stuff- the issue was getting used to communicating over long distance, things have gotten better since talking about this, so I don't see it as bleak.

I've since talked to him about it and he was in the same boat as me, he didn't want to seem insensitive to said recent issues but it was me overthinking it- he still wants to be intimate.

No. 153668

two autists dating was a terrible idea from the get go

No. 153669

You keep on tagging the wrong posts

No. 153671

hey, what are some foreplay stuff you do, or like to receive?
I'm just so unimaginative when it comes to it, also I have no experience and I'm just parroting what my partner does. I do massage and neck kisses, he seems to really love kissing on the neck. But I just don't have any other ideas lol. I mean cute sexy things to wind someone up, not full on genitals action. Ideas for an awkward late bloomer, please?

No. 153686

you know what anon I will pop in to say I want you and your hoodiefucker bf to be happy however this goes . Its weird but you were down with him being asexual and yea hoodies is tame to me. lets just hope thats not forever bich.. or if it is get the sexiest thottie style hoodie for your wedding night x

No. 153777

this may seem like a dumbass question but how do you have missionary sex? i’m a lesbian and my gf and I like to strap, so I’m thinking one thing that is preventing us from having missionary sex is the position of the strap being too high up, another thing is I’m skinny as fuck and she has massive thighs, so maybe it’s the size difference making it by too difficult? but then I see lesbian porn and they have no issues at all being in that position? idk guys i just want to be fucked in missionary bc it’s more comfortable for me but we just can’t seem to make it work.

No. 153778

anons this is a really stupid question but i'm wondering if i should stop using a vibrator or try and learn to get off without one? i've never been able to orgasm with just hands and i'm worried about how it will affect sex. i always hear about using your hands on your clit to orgasm during penetration but i don't understand how. obviously i could just use a vibrator during it but i feel like i should be able to. the times i've tried to learn it felt like a waste of time. has anyone had a similar experience?

No. 153787

Anon, you should get a sleeveless, nicely textured hoodie. Velour, velvet, crushed velvet, satin, silk. Try to get these in rich, touchable colors that almost add to the texture. Surprise him with it.

No. 153788

Use coconut oil and try laying back with your head and neck propped up, and your legs spread, but like bent at the knee, feet almost touching. No clue if this will work for you.

No. 153825

Whoever is wearing the strap needs to learn how to thrust with their hips idk? The only time I've heard a girl complain about a guy being fat was when she was on top.

No. 153868

I'm supposedly very attractive, but I'm still a virgin (I'm only 22 but yeah), only had one boyfriend (in high school) in my entire life and I'm also a massive husbandofag. I actually dread losing my virginity to a real life man after hearing and reading so many horror stories from other women. What's even worse is the fact that many of them considered things such as painful sex and lack of orgasms absolutely normal and even worth it because of the "emotional connection" and because their men are "actually really nice guys otherwise". Even so-called sex-positive feminists tell women they don't have to orgasm everytime and that sex is about the journey not the destination. Meanwhile I've seen incels saying men have the right to rape women if they give them blue balls.

I'm actually starting feel like I sound stuck up or entitled, or like I'm placing too great importance on sex when relationships are about far more than just that…

No. 153869

I'm even older than you (25) and in the same boat. When my friends and I turned 18 they all started losing their virginity and told me every detail in order to make me less scared but it just sounded so horrible. They said exactly the same thing as that
>many of them considered things such as painful sex and lack of orgasms absolutely normal
and one mentioned that she didn't came for the first 10 or even 20 times they did it but it supposedly was
>worth it because of the "emotional connection"
So you just expect me to lay there for god knows how long and let a man do humiliating things to me because I love him and want to make him happy??? That's just insane (and you know exactly that no man would do the same for a woman's pleasure…)
I'm just really worried. After a certain age even nice guys don't understand why you don't want sex, some even think it must be because you were molested/assaulted, it's always expected almost immediately after getting together and those guys my friends were with were also nice, so it's not like you can tell prior who's egoistic in bed (or are all men?)
I just can't imagine myself ever trusting a man enough to do it with him, there's simply so many things that could go wrong or turn out horrible.

No. 153870

Same anon. I also hear about men being manwhores and under the impression pretty much all of them have STIs or whatever. I just don't trust any of them, and I only find very few men attractive. I am too afraid of being betrayed and catching their contagious shit then living with the unfair physical and mental consequences. You have every right to feel the way you do, anon.

No. 153874

I’m 22 and I’m the same. I love my husbandos but I can never imagine myself having sex with a guy because it sounds so horrible. Why the fuck would I let a guy fuck me if I will most likely get nothing positive In return???

No. 153880


penetrative sex is overrated, but still nice, some girls just can't orgasm from it alone (if you wanna nut, find a good position to rub your clit in) if there was no nice physical sensation from being pounded it would be less of a thing tbh. maybe i'm just a sex addict but i enjoy sex with a loving partner 100% of the time even if im too lazy to nut
tldr; sex feel good for most

No. 153882


I understand your position, and I definitely don't think penetration always feels bad, it's just rarely ever orgasmic for me. I just wish I didn't see myself as a selfish coomer for expecting to orgasm everytime I have sex with a man, while the male orgasm is always guaranteed and unquestioned.

No. 153897

yeah I want to ride her until I’m sore but her thighs are large and my legs are short. my knees can’t touch the bed when I’m straddling her lol. we did try missionary again today, after not attempting it for a while bc we didn’t think we could do it. she has lost a lot of weight in the last year and we finally managed it! now I just have to work on my flexibility bc god damn my hips are sore.

No. 153916


anon I love you

No. 153926

I really am terrified of penetrative sex and it’s starting to make me feel like i’ll never be able to have a happy relationship with a man.
I lost my virginity when I was 18 and the guy did attempt some foreplay but for the most part it was a quickie and it hurt sooooooooo fucking much. I didn’t try to make a big deal out of it because I didn’t want to seem like a uncool virgin but it was seriously traumatizing. I didn’t have penetrative sex again until I was 20 and the guy I was with took some time to do foreplay and finger me but even just 2 fingers was uncomfortable. I let him know that i’m really tight down there and it makes penetration uncomfortable but that just made him more eager to go ahead with it. It was just as bad as the first time and I cried after in the bathroom and felt like such a loser.
That was 2 years ago and i’m so sex repulsed now. I do touch myself but I usually avoid anything penetrative. I bit the bullet and bought a slender dildo and even with lube I didn’t make much progress. I cant even use a period cup because I cant get any of the cups up there. Am I just going to be like this forever?

No. 153984

how can I come from oral (alone)?

it feels good and turns me on, but I never get that build-up and then release feeling of an orgasm. A few times, my legs would shake slightly/feel mushy after or my hands would tingle, so maybe that was getting close to one but then nothing happened. is there something I should do to orgasm, or is my bf lacking skill? he's had one partner before me, I have had no experience before him.

No. 153988

I doubt you will be like this forever anon, but you have trauma associated with penetrative sex so it's only understandable you will be facing some difficulties. I think it's great you got a toy so you can make progress on your own time. Sorry to get into the weeds here, but are you just going straight to lube/dildo? I would focus on getting yourself turned on first. Watch or read something that makes you feel aroused. Rub your clit and get yourself close to orgasm and then start using the dildo. You don't have to fully penetrate at first. Use the tip to stimulate your clit, slide it up and down along your vulva and only then start to penetrate. Don't even do a lot at first, just push the tip in and out to tease yourself and go further when/if you feel comfortable. I would also continue stimulating your clit as you use the dildo or take breaks so you continue feeling good rather than just focusing on the penetration alone. You haven't had a single partner properly get you in the mood and help you relax, so take the time needed to find out what you enjoy and work on feeling confident enough to set boundaries for any future partners (not "I'm nervous about this but it's okay if you go ahead" but "If I'm not fully relaxed you will not be having sex with me, period"). I know it can be hard but please take care of yourself. You deserve to be treated much better and I'm sorry you had to endure such painful experiences.

No. 153992

Im not sure if touching my clit really does anything to me. it hurts, if anything but doesn’t make me wanna orgasm as some women would say. I thought about picking up a wand but what would be the point if I can’t really seem feel much on my clit? I guess vaginal sex is more stimulating for me than flicking my bean

also fuck anal

No. 153994

Do you touch it directly? If so, try rubbing just the hood?

No. 153995

Nothing wrong if you prefer penetration, but maybe you should experiment more? When I'm touching my clit I don't put my fingers directly on it (thinking about that level of overstimulation makes me want to puke, holy shit lol) but I rub along the sides and/or over the skin so there's referential pressure, which feels much better.

No. 154046

I actually didn’t think about that!! i usually touch it directly at it so it could be why it’s so uncomfortable

No. 154058

File: 1601949092443.jpg (20.08 KB, 466x1056, 61PDA9zVZJL._AC_SX466_.jpg)

If fingers hurt your clit I think wand wouldn't be much better, you might have luck with underwear on?

I recently was picking an air-pulse stimulator, and I've read reviews of woman that had no luck with finger stimulation but reached orgasm with such toy for the first time. Also description of the toy claimed something like since it doesn't come in direct contact with your clit, it doesn't irritate and therefore you can have more orgasms in a shorter period of time. The ones I was looking at were called womanizer (more fancy and waterproof) and satisfyer (cheaper, but some people say they're not that different). You might want to get one that has lighter regimes, one of womanizers I was looking at had 21 levels of intensity/pulsating patterns

No. 154059

Bombex is around $30 and has a setting that sounds like Doom music.

No. 154084

I remember a discussion in the vent thread about letting the guy cumming inside but I found nothing about it here. I looked for it everywhere. It was very surprising because I thought everyone avoided that out of fear of getting pregnant. Me and my friends are in our early 20s and when we talk about sex we bring up not doing it without a condom and how thankful we are when our period comes. One of my male friends does without a condom and takes it out before climaxing. I just want to know, if a guy asks you to do it inside does it feel good? Or is it gross like the anons in the other thread said? Feel like doing it once but am not sure, could you anons give some advice?

No. 154087

Doesn't feel like anything. You can't feel it so it makes no difference to you. The only people who think you can feel it are men who have seen too much porn.

No. 154101

It slightly tickles for like one second, I don't know if that's the cum of the dick twitching though.

No. 154107

Doesn't feel like anything in the moment. It's gross when he pulls out, you better have a tissue or cup your hand over your vagina and go to the bathroom asap so it doesn't get on anything. Then later it comes out into your underwear unexpectedly which is very inconvenient. The benefits of summing inside? I guess just the emotional attachment and bonding. It's pretty much just kind of messy and not the best and definitely not worth getting pregnant over.

No. 154121

I'm not sure if advice is needed, maybe input? When my boyfriend climaxes, he gets incredibly sensitive to the point where I can't really touch him for a minute or two afterwards. Forget "when you nut and she keep riding/sucking," I pull off pretty quickly and he pretty much curls up into a ball and breathes deep, shudders, etc. It's not painful, even though lowkey it looks it sometimes, he just says he's really sensitive after/as he comes, and we can snuggle and kiss maybe a minute or two after, we just can't ride it out together. Is this like…normal kek. I've seen a dude experience post-orgasmic sensitivity this hard.

No. 154126

too late to edit, I've never* sorry.

No. 154135

Thanks for the replies. I genuinely expected some gross shit cuz the anons in that thread said 1) it smells and 2) you can't get it out by using water without fucking your vag up. Wtf, no thanks.

No. 154157

I don't know if it's common, but it's definitely a thing some guys deal with. My partner is very similar, although we have made some "progress" over time. It used to be that I couldn't touch him at all after he came because it was too intense, but these days when I ask if I can gently touch him with my hand or slowly grind on top afterwards, I'd say he's fine with it 90% of the time. If you'd like to do this I'd let him know ahead of sex so he knows what to expect and can get in the right mindset, then see if he can desensitize himself a bit? But overall I wouldn't say it's a big deal and just respect that he's a sensitive boy, haha.

No. 154345

Polished the pearl and came three times in a row a few days ago, but I fell asleep and now I have a UTI because I didn't go to pee immediately after finishing. Feels bad man

No. 154358

What are some regrets you have about your first time??
I had one sexual relationship with a woman but never with a man, and now that I have a bf I feel like the time is coming
I know how to please myself and how to please another girl but penis??? New to me

I'd just like some advices and stuff, I'm feeling weirdly stressed

(Sorry for bad English it's not my native language)

No. 154362

i don't have any advice and that sounds like it would be a little annoying but also cute as fuck for some reason

No. 154414

nothing to contribute but I find that very interesting as I've had only one partner. Never heard about it. When he comes, he either stops for a minute and catches a breath, then continues if he can, or if can't he lays on top of me or something, relaxing. I wouldn't even think men can be "too sensitive" after coming. I thought it's just a case of being still hard enough to go, or not.

try flexing your legs, because usually they're bend in knees, right? Try to have them more straight. This helped me. Do you feel your bf's tongue on your clit though? Or somewhere too low, to high? Guide him. My bf would do it too low, but before I told him anything he managed to find the clit himself, maybe he did research lol. Don't be too shy to speak up.

No. 154574

thank u - i will try that!!
and yes sometimes he does, and it feels good but then he moves away, usually lower. I'll take ur advice and tell him to stay there when he's on it. He does know where it is though because he pointed it out to me the first time

No. 155633

I'm in my early 20s I've never had an orgasm I don't masturbate because I don't find the idea of going solo arousing.
I feel like the closest I ever got was during a dream last night but honestly I have no frame of reference because it has never happened irl.

I have a very sexy boyfriend who is sadly LDR and we have only met twice and the sex only started getting good before he left. In all my other relationships I was bored by the sex within approx 60 seconds

Am I missing something is it normal to not want to masturbate and have never had an orgasm at my age?

I feel like I will just never experience one I've kinda accepted it.

No. 155637

Wait, you never even came in a dream? I was having orgasms in dreams even before I started masturbating, let alone having sex. I understand some women have aversion to the act of masturbating, but not orgasming in your dreams is weird, the body's supposed to "know" how to do that by itself.

No. 155638

No offense intended, but you’re being pretty lazy anon. If you want to have an orgasm then you have to take responsibility for yourself and figure out what works for your body. The vast majority of women can’t cum from penetration alone so you have to try things with your clit. You don’t have to like… just lay there and mechanically touch yourself and hope something happens. Try to fantasize about whatever does turn you on so that you get in the mood. If you really hate doing it alone so badly, then get your boyfriend on video and have him jerk off for you and talk dirty lol. (He’d probably love it as well.) But however you approach it, masturbation is a really helpful way to get yourself there and makes it easier for you to be able to tell your partner what you like as well.

No. 155640

Wet dreams are common for guys but I’ve literally never heard of a woman having one.I started masturbating fairly young and I’m now in my late 20s and have never experienced this. (Sexual dreams sure, but no actual orgasm due to them.) Huh.

No. 155641

Well, now you've heard of one.
I just replied according to my own experiences. If they're not common, OP should ignore me and listen to you and others instead.

No. 155643

Ayrt I think I may have last night I'm not sure and I have woken up with my vagina feeling what I can only describe as desperately spicy before but I have never had an orgasm irl so I can't tell for sure if that's what it is or not

I agree I am not proactive in the exploration of my own body and I feel it may be partially down to
A. Living with my parents
B. Being Catholic and have a weird mindset that solo sex activity is gross and unromantic and dirty

I know what feels good for me etc and I'd rather experiment with my bf if only he would be present with me for more than twice a year.

I'm just wondering if its normal to have never had an orgasm at my age and to not be interested in masturbation.

I've sexted with my partner before and exchanged stuff but I've never gone as far as to masturbate successfully to the point of orgasm I feel like it wouldn't be possible without some sort of device since most of the sexual excitement I experience is based on the presence of a man

No. 155644

NTA but I've experienced them too. They're usually way more intense and on the verge of painful for me though.

No. 155645

They are way more intense for me too. First time I had one when sleeping in the same bed with my bf, he woke up thinking it was an earthquake. Nope, it was just me violently thrusting my pelvis in my sleep because I just came. True story.

No. 155647

I've had erotic dreams bring me close to orgasm, but somehow I can never actually come in my dreams. I just wake up horny and finish myself.

No. 155663

Not sure if I came across like I was expressing doubt or attempting to invalidate you, honestly just surprised. Did some quick research and if a study by Kinsey is to be believed about ~37% of women have sex dreams that result in orgasm, so seems it's not necessarily the norm but also not rare.

No. 155664


Now I'm both intrigued and slightly concerned about having one, haha

No. 155679

Funny, I came before just from horny thoughts and being way too high from edibles, but never from a sexy dream.

No. 155681

Not sure if this is more sex or relationships, but does anyone have any advice on initiating and maintaining a fwb arrangement without it getting weird? I've never done it before so i'm not sure if my expectations are unrealistic or not

No. 155720

The two issues I always ran into were either one of us would catch feelings or it'd be the opposite and the guy would be flakey about setting up times to meet because they'd be on hook up apps hoping to get new pussy and hitting me up last minute when 'new pussy' plans always fell through. I never found that good balance but I guess that's the key to it.

No. 155930

At some point I want to run around and seduce pretty women for one-night stands and eat them out and leave them happy. Assuming this is something I might actually do someday and not just a fantasy, how do I go about it? How do I hook up with girls without being gross or sleazy?

No. 156022

File: 1603312399024.jpg (86.28 KB, 739x1600, IMG-20191209-WA0006.jpg)

Sorry if this has been asked before, but I have a question for anons here. Is it possible to improve your ability to climax from penetration?

For a long time I figured I just couldn't, until I finally went and bought a vibrator and had…two actual orgasms. Like, it doesn't bother me during PIV sex except for the part where i have to fake it sometimes. A third time i tried to cum again using the vibrator and i got so close but not quite there, its so fucking frustrating. Is this something one can practice???

No. 156029

>Like, it doesn't bother me during PIV sex except for the part where i have to fake it sometimes
I understand why you feel that pressure, I faked all orgasms for probably the first 5 years that I was sexually active. But it's just about the most counterproductive thing you can do in that situation.

No. 156135

yes! omg please dont fake orgasms! it's rewarding a bad or at least sub-par behaviour! men are like brainless puppies, if you fake it they will never notice and worst of all they will think they are doing a great job. just tell him what you want and what you need in order to orgasm. good luck anon!

No. 156241

Does sperm live in the mouth? I have my partner head and afterwards he fingered me, occasionally putting his fingers in my mouth to wet them. Should I be scared?

No. 156244

kek this reads like one of those teen magazine sex questions
Don't worry anon you'll be fine, you can't get pergante that way

No. 156246

sorry, it's because I am a teen (19)
okay, thank you, because I read that sperm lives in wet environments so I panicked

No. 156283

Sperm can live in the mouth for a short period of time afterwards. The ph level of saliva isn't friendly to sperm but it also doesn't kill it instantaneously either.

No. 156351

is that so? :(
how high is my risk, should I buy plan b?

No. 156352

No. sperm cannot survive in the stomach. You're fine. Are you a troll??

No. 156353

She's asking because her bf put his fingers in her mouth after finishing in it and then put those fingers in her vagina, not because she thinks sperm in her stomach will make her pregnant…

I really don't think you have to, anon, but I absolutely understand the fear and paranoia. Been there. Honestly, if it will give you peace of mind, you could take Plan B, but side effects might suck. If at all possible, consider BC if you can so you don't have to keep worrying in the futures. You'll be okay ♥

No. 156356

Just get lube? That's better than taking the risk or getting birth control.

No. 156365

Spermicidal lube if you want that tiniest extra bit of protection.

No. 156374

I've taken plan b after a (probably) low risk activity, for my peace my mind it was worth it.

Talk to someone about getting on birth control or talk to your bf about assessing risks.. before sex. It's never good to be partaking in sex acts first and then only worrying about the risks afterwards.

No. 156375

Diff anon but in my country spermicide can only be obtained through prescription if you also have a prescription for a diaphragm to use it with. It's seen as being so ineffective that they refuse to let people buy it alone.

No. 156434

the problem is when you dont know what you need lmao. i just get numb when someone touches me there, only my hand can do it.

No. 156457

okay, thank you for the advice anons, i appreciate it <3

No. 156465

File: 1603553321604.jpg (35.74 KB, 450x338, 1506662769066.jpg)

I am so frustrated at newgrounds and wetpussygames.com because they absolutely RUINED my sexuality for me. I found them at about 12 or 13 and I literally can only get wet to hentai. doesnt have to be good hentai, some more fucked up things like transformations or monsters get me in the mood even more which is AWFUL.
i feel like a cumbrain scrote, i have a wonderful boyfriend and i just cannot become wet for him. i think if not for the hentai id be a relatively low sex drive normal woman, but now im a low libido hentai slave.
i opened up about it to him and he understands and doesnt particularly mind, since i do love having sex with him and its very pleasurable, just wish i wasnt tearing the area around the enterance slightly every time. no matter how much spit or lube we use eventually it always rubs too dry and i feel stinging pain on the toilet afterwards.

please god just make me feel horny when i imagine men or women making sweet intimate love to me

No. 156473


Do you still look at porn and masturbate to it?

No. 156476

no, if i do look its to appreciate a womans body or the situation shes in, real porn that is. hentai i avoid and consume maybe once a month to get a bit wet

No. 156477


Why don't you take PIV off the table for a bit and concentrate just on oral/hands/toys? If its hurting you, you might be tensing up beforehand in anticipation. I did that for ages, now PIV is a treat instead of the norm and I'm miles more relaxed when it does happen.

No. 156479

never thought of that, great idea. bless you anon i love you

No. 156491

Nta but how could one approach that? I've always felt like asking for that is somehow unfair to the other person and like logically I know that's not the case but idk, I find it extremely hard?

No. 156500


Just tell them penetrative sex has been uncomfortable the last few times or whatever and you want to try something else for a while. If your partner is still getting off then I don't see why they'd (or you) would have a problem.

No. 157866

is it normal to not have any sexual fantasies or fetishes? i'm talking to a guy at the moment, he's already told me he likes feet and a couple other things, meanwhile he can't get anything out of me because i literally have nothing to say. i admit i do find the idea of a guy liking feet pretty hot but that's their thing, not mine. i just feel so vanilla, because i guess i am, but i don't want him to think i'm a complete prude, i just want to get fucked intensely as if the dude is totally in love with me and that's it ffs

No. 157868

That’s sweet anon, and totally normal. You don’t have to have any specific fetishes. My boyfriend didn’t have anything he was specifically “into” when we first got together either… although he’s developed some since. So it’s a good opportunity to find out what you like with the new guy (if he’s worth your time). Just tell him you like intimacy and eye contact and going slow. Some guys have no clue what foreplay and sensual sex is supposed to be like so you have to spell it out for them.

No. 157871

>is it normal to not have any sexual fantasies or fetishes?
I mean the definition of having a fetish is that it's not 'normal'
>Fetish, a form of sexual desire in which gratification is linked to an abnormal degree to an object, item of clothing or part of the body
I know alot of people struggle with feelings of shame around their fetishes but why would you ever feel ashamed for NOT having fetishes? You are the norm.

No. 158455

My husband is obsessed with ejaculating in my mouth. I have done it for him just a few times in the years we have been together but each time it's just more and more disgusting and he asks me about it almost daily. Sometimes he will beg me to do it.

Idk why he's so obsessed with doing this. It's disgusting. It's like swallowing slimy sea water mixed with toilet cleaner.

Has anyone found a way to enjoy it? Could he eat something to make it more bearable? I like making him happy but I just can't bring myself to do it again.

No. 158456

Disgusting AF, no matter what a man will eat, cum will never be a delicious delicacy; it's way too often, just be honest and tell him you don't want to do it.

No. 158457

tell him you don't like it and don't want to do it anymore

No. 158458

I don't enjoy it so I just don't do it, my last relationship was 3 years long and while that guy was shitty in other ways he at least was respectful of the fact that me saying no meant no and nagging wouldn't change that.

It's pretty disgusting that your husband would think it's okay to keep pushing that boundary. The solution here is him gaining some respect for you, not you finding elaborate ways to make semen taste better

No. 158461

Let him do it and then shove it into his mouth, see how he likes it

No. 158468

There are ways to make it taste less bad, he has to stay away from smoking, drinking, dairy and red meat and eat lots more fruit and veg. But is the only problem the taste? It sounds like he's being a pushy asshole about it so I can understand if it's his gross behaviour you're turned off by.

No. 158483

Anon he's disrespecting you everytime he begs you to let him ejaculate in your mouth after the initial no. No is no. Make your boundaries known and tell him not to ask you about it again.

Also: don't reward begging after you've said no. It teaches him he can get you to do anything if he asks and begs hard and long enough and that he doesn't have to respect your No.

No. 158498

Is my bf gonna find it gross if we do 69 while I have a hemorrhoid..?It's not one of those huge red/purple swollen ones but I'm ashamed. It's also permanent..

No. 158504

he prob wont even notice

No. 158508

If he does, you're mot really compatible, honestly.

No. 158521

You can get a teeny butt plug with the gemstone on the bottom and wear that during. Just clean up the lube around your butthole with soapy water and rinse really well beforehand that way there's not like errant poo flakes or something

No. 158522

I really like the process and the precum, the actual jizz less so but I still find it kinda hot in the moment.
Pineapple juice and I think they have a capsule form are supposed to make it better.

No. 158526

Have a frank discussion with him about it. If it's offputting to him he can always still eat you out in other positions.

Not hemorrhoid related but I only really eat pussy in certain positions because I'm just not a fan of having my nose that close to a butthole, some people are like that

No. 158599

Have any of you dealt with being very shy in bed? I have problems with anxiety and shyness in general. But I'm getting okay and comfortable after "exercising" some things/experiences. With sex, I just stay retarded.
I'm 5 months in a relantioship and I'm still too shy to initiate sex. Like it's either him or we kinda both start it, but I can't do it alone, like start touching him randomly, winding him up. Just recently I tried handjobs, mostly because I was drunk. A big win for me after 5 months, huh. Can't muster up the courage to try oral. I know he wonders what's wrong because some time ago he asked if I'm grossed out by oral, I said no, he said okay, end of conversation. I'm just too autistic to initiate, it's so awkward, thinking about it I grimace and wanna hide. Yesterday he wanted to kiss me and I automatically winced, because it was a normal moment and not a "hot moment". I just shied away.
I'm really bothered by it lately. There's progress but so tiny, so slow.
I need to add that I wasn't sexually molested/assaulted, it's my first relationship, I like the guy and I do find him really attractive so it's not that. It's purely my retardation.

No. 158634

Well you've said it yourself, you're either too retarded or too young and inexperienced. My guess it's the latter.
I used to be very awkward about sex when I was younger, maybe not in a same way as you, but it was cringey as hell. Looking back I think I wasn't mentally ready and even though I loved my then boyfriend I wasn't sexually attracted to him, which I only realized years later. Finding a guy you're literally lusting for is a way to be sure you're not the problem. Aesthetically attractive isn't always the same as sexually attractive. Also keep in mind there's the whole thing with sex in our society and how it's perceived as something shameful you should only be doing behind closed door, while at the same time being painted as the pinnacle of love and the most beautiful thing you can experience with another person. It messes with your head and I don't blame you. And on top of it all, performance anxiety is also a bitch.

Anyways, it really gets a lot better with age and experience. Since you can't magically jump years into your future, maybe try drinking some more if it seemed to help that one time? Just little bit to get into mood and lose some of your inhibitions.

No. 158663

I'm generally pretty switchy, but I feel confused and/or unsatisfied by the descriptions of top/bottom dom/sub I've con across when trying to explain what it is I'm into. I'm a trauma survivor and have sensory processing disorder and am wondering these skews my perception (spd makes it easy to overstimulated me, which impacts how in control or vulnerable I feel). If this topic has been gone over before and I missed it, I'm happy to click through to the right post.

Basically, I feel most confident, comfortable, and in control when I am not the one directly receiving pleasure, regardless if I am more, like, architecturally on top or bottom. To be vulgar, I can be lying on my belly with my partner in my ass and be like Bitch I Own You and my partner would be like Oh my god you do. Conversely, if the focus of pleasure is on me, I feel much more out of control. If done properly, these can both be very fun and pleasurable.

But people often describe topping or domming as being in control and receiving pleasure focus, with sub situations being more service oriented with less control. I'm just confused as to how to best describe these dynamics in relationship to what I enjoy. Can anyone offer a little clarity?

No. 158676

Sexuality doesn't have to perfectly fit into pre-existing boxes. The pleasure of dominance comes from having someone's trust and being in control: Whether that involves you receiving physical pleasure or not is up to you.

>I can be lying on my belly with my partner in my ass and be like Bitch I Own You

This is just topping from the bottom, you don't have to literally be on top of someone to be the dominant partner. Rather than having someone "service you," maybe it's more about them having to deny themselves pleasure, endure verbal degradation/pain (if they're comfortable with it), letting you use their body on your terms, or something else.

So all in all, I would still just say you're a switch.

No. 158686


I am 24. I have been married for two years now and I have never had an orgasm. I feel like I have tried everything: Toys, solo, etc.
The only time I have ever felt any sort of sexual pleasure is when I'm on top of him, but the sensation only lasts for a few seconds.

I also never feel horny. I have been on Zoloft for about 5 years now, and I know people will say antidepressants can fuck up your sex drive, but I don't want to believe that it's impossible to get off when on pills. I can't function without them.

Is anyone else on antidepressants and can confirm that they are able to have a normal sex drive, and is there any hope for me or am I just never going to experience the fabled ~~orgasm~~

No. 158696

i think the main reason i'm turned off by blowjobs/handjobs is because i think i'm horrible at them and just fucking clueless. i haven't had sex in a few years and i'm almost in my mid 20s. how the fuck do i learn how to be good at them by myself at home? can anyone recommend something? i think i would actually be really into giving the man i'm with pleasure like that if i knew i was doing it good

No. 158697

Enthusiasm and stamina seems to do more than any particular technique in my experience. Plus who knows what the guy will even like. Plus plus it's kinda hot when he teaches you…. Anyway don't worry so much, anon. Though if any other anon has a technique to share I'm listening lol.

No. 158698

Took Pristiq for about a year before it shat out and stopped working and it gave me such awful brain zaps for a few weeks coming off of it that I swore off ADs forever. I had a great sex drive on it but found it damn near impossible to have an orgasm.
Ask your doctor for a new medication, the addition of generic wellbutrin, or supplements known to quell sexual side effects.

No. 158710

Use as much saliva as you can, most men like sloppy blowjobs. You can slowly drool on the tip and it apparently feels really good to them. If you start to get tired use your hand and suck on the tip. My man likes to be licked a lot before I get started because it’s like a tease.

No. 158783

>how the fuck do i learn how to be good at them by myself at home?
I would just wait til you're next with a guy. Ask him to lead you along and tell you what to do. It's honestly such a turn on to have a partner be like "tell me what you like, show me what works for you" No need to practice in advance.

It's nice to feel like your partner is catering to your personal tastes so no guy will exactly mind having to lead you a little.

No. 158785

I'm not really into bjs either, anon, but my husband loooves them. The best tip I've read that requires little/no practice is that you should treat his dick the same way you'd treat a melting popsicle. Works for me!

No. 158789

There's a difference between being inexperienced and nervous about BJs and actually not liking them though, If you're years into being sexually active and still saying you're 'not really into' a certain sex act.. it's best not to force yourself to do it just for the other persons pleasure.

No. 158794

lol anon, I'm not going to stop giving my husband bjs just because I'm not feeling it after ten years. It's not an agonizing act for me and if it were, we wouldn't do it. It just doesn't turn me on. I'm fine giving oral, though, because I know it really revs my husband up and on the other side of that is me getting thoroughly fucked, which I DO like.

No. 158798

different anon, but
>on the other side of that is me getting thoroughly fucked, which I DO like
That's interesting for me. Do you not finish him, then? Because I'm always reluctant to touch man's dick: 1. I touch his dick, he comes and then he's all tired and dead and half-hard at best, 2. I stop so he doesn't come, but then he comes super fast during penetration and bam, all dead and sleepy.
It's like they don't deserve good things.

No. 158799

I wasn't telling you what to do. I was pointing out to inexperienced anons reading these advice threads that if you still arent feeling a certain act after getting experience with it you can just be honest and turn it down too.

There's always posts about anons not liking blow jobs/anal play but just doing them anyway.. pops up all the time so ut can't be said enough.

No. 158802

If they are ten years together then I doubt he's coming too fast

No. 158804

Oral (both ways) is usually foreplay for us, so he does finish, but it's PiV. I can't stomach a load in my mouth, so if it is just a straight up bj, when he's going to come, I usually switch over to my hand last second or let him take over so he can come on me.

Dudes that come too quickly are usually too caught up in their own head, in my experience. "oh no this chick is too hot" "oh no my dick is actually in a vagina" "oh no we made eye contact during this bj" It's something they have to get over on their own, it just sucks that you have to waste your time on it!

No. 159353

idk if this is the right thread but here it is. For some context, the only way I can get off is by humping my bed, this sorta made me insecure as a 13-year-old as I thought that I could never share any sexual pleasure with a future bf and , although I'm unsure if this is the direct cause of this, I ended up developing an irrational sadness related to vulvas to the point where I would literally cry if I thought about the abstract idea of a vulva for too long (I even feel a little sick and teary-eyed writing this). This paired with the fact that I'm still a virgin but plan to have vaguely radfem standards when dating (like he'll have to do something that'll give me pleasure before I give him a handjob), but I barely know my body enough to even understand what I like, aside from just humping my bed. Idk what to really do about this or what I'm really asking, but is there a way for me to get over this? If I were to have a bf, should I just see what I like/don't like if he goes down on me?

No. 159365

Can you think of anything traumatic that happened to you? Maybe nothing happened but being tearful is a strong reaction

I think alot of us start out with the same humping habit but usually graduate to our hands by our late teens. I remember not knowing what I was doing and it taking a while to figure out what worked. That and I had similar (not so much emotional) but squeamish feelings about touching my bare genitals. Rubbing yourself through clothing can slowly work you up to bare hands. Or you can get a toy and use that if hands-on is too much.

I think for alot of us there's shame that stops us from enjoying it from the get go. It takes time to build a relationship with our own body. Toys helped me alot.

No. 159403

at the time I was sorta being groomed by an 18-year-old but I don't think that was what caused it. I'm unsure about rubbing my gentiales, even through my clothes, because it feels purposeless, I doubt I'm gonna feel particularly good doing it, so I feel like I shouldn't bother

but I guess I should just do it anyway to get over this damn thing but idk how tf I'm supposed to do it. I tried once but it didn't feel good at all,in fact, it sorta hurt

No. 159418

Don't really need advice but does sperm always have this strong aftertaste? Fuck it's already unpleasant at first but then I swallow and afterwards suddenly this overwhelming taste becomes active

No. 159420

It's pretty bad imo too. I just don't let it anywhere near my mouth anymore. Not enduring that for anyone

No. 159423

Pretty basic maybe but I can't come with my bf. He's been really doing his best but I just can't feel much. Tongue or finger, feels like nothing, even together but then sometimes I get this strong sparkle of too much and it kinda hurts.. Idk what to do. I can come on my own but not with him… And don't get me started on penetrative sex.

No. 159425

Is it weird if sex is really difficult and just not working out? I'm still a virgin due to just never successfully being able to have sex, guys aren't able to get me wet very well and because I'm inexperienced and clumsy I can't figure out shit either. I want to try being on top but I can't figure out how to physically do that like how to put it in there and then how to move and actually have sex although I can't even put it in yet so maybe I should worry about that first lmao

No. 159427

I think it depends on the guy, both diet and overall chemical composition. My ex tasted odd and astringent but my current boyfriend tastes completely neutral.

No. 159432

When you say it feels like nothing, what do you mean? If the other person is going too rough or fast I start to feel numb and it's impossible to finish. So maybe ask him to go even slower and softer. Also, in my experience overthinking can funnily enough prevent you from coming. So maybe focus more on a lot of foreplay, and if you start to have thoughts like "am I going to orgasm this time? What if I can't? Oh god it's taking too long, his wrist must hurt" etc (I have those a lot kek) try to let them go, and only focus on how good you feel in the moment. Not treating having an orgasm like the goal basically is what has helped me before

No. 159435

>my current boyfriend tastes completely neutral
Damn, I've been around the block and never experienced this.

Can uh, can I have him when you're done with him? lol

No. 159441

Don't swallow unless it's your kink. If a man wants his cum swallowed then tell him to open up his mouth and take it from yours without looking disgusted, if he can't then he can't tell you shit and if he actually likes the taste then he can be his own cum dumpster

No. 159447

Nta but this. I feel like it really should be considered a kink in itself and not an expectation. I've had so many drunk convos with friends where they complain about disliking certain parts of sex but they do it anyway?… swallowing/tasting cum being high on that list. You don't have to do it.

No. 159490

I bypass taste by deepthroating. No regrets.

I like >>159441 's idea though, if he refused to do this for me, I think I may deny my moid the pleasure of cumming in my mouth.

No. 159499

I don't know which is worse, deepthroating or tasting cum. I really can't stand either.

But if you're good with it then cool life hack lol

No. 159525

My boyfriend never wants to have short sex sessions and it's really getting on my nerves. I don't want to have sex for 2-3 hours every night or every other night, especially not when we have work the next day. And that's not how morning sex should be. It's not that he can't or it takes him too long to finish, I can tell he's staving it off sometimes. I can't seem to convince him that longer =/= better or that I can live with just one orgasm here and there. Like, I dread sex sometimes because it's going to be a fucking long ordeal every time. Idk if I'm even looking for advice, I'm just annoyed and complaining but don't want to clog OT with sex stuff kek. Ugggghhhh.

No. 159530

I will try anon! thank you. And i think i feel numb sometimes…

No. 159533

>I can't seem to convince him
>I dread sex sometimes because it's going to be a fucking long ordeal every time
Why isn't he listening to you??

I've had sessions where I declare that I'm done. A handful of times my guy was taking forever to cum so I said I want to stop and I laid next to him and watched him jerk it. He had me there to watch him so that was enough. When it stops being fun you get off the ride.

It has to be mentally damaging to force it or to feel like you can't say stop, don't underestimate the knock on effect that can cause down the line for you. If he's not taking your feedback into consideration and if sex carries on for an hour longer than you actually truly wanted it…you're entering into bad territory there. A gray area where it's dodgy for guys to conveniently ignore what we're telling them.

No. 159537

Refuse to fuck him until he realizes that he must change.

No. 159542

how do i tell my guy i'd like to try con non con with him without freaking him out?

No. 159545

Don't, he would be right to freak out at your sexualisation of sexual violence which women continue to suffer from tremendously.

No. 159548

Thank you for replying to my vent, anon. I've certainly done the same, both with him and other partners, but it's just that it's every time. I want him to finish with me, ya know? Maybe putting it to him like that will help, I'm not sure if I have.. I've both hinted and blatantly said that I don't want extremely long sex, both during and out of the bedroom. You're right, though, it is exhausting and taxing mentally. The sex is great and I love him, but it's just overwhelming, and that takes away from what could be good.
I really appreciate the reply and helping me realize that it's not just annoying, but an important thing for him to listen to. Dumb as that sounds, kek.

No. 159553

Normies tend to freak out over the terms cnc or rape fantasy. I admit they can be easily misconstrued and don't fully capture the intent, so I'd keep it generic. Assuming you want to be the "forced" partner, just tell him you think it would be hot to have rough sex where you push back a bit and he'll have to wrestle and pin you down as you fuck. These actions are okay, these aren't, and if you say [safe word] then you just have normal sex or stop.

He'll probably have some follow-up questions if he's a considerate partner, so be patient and talk it out with him. Emphasize that you're into it precisely because you know you actually are safe with him, and it's more about being "ravished," feeling his strength and desire for you than literally being attacked.

No. 159560

Anyone have tips for riding? My bf really enjoys cowgirl/reverse cowgirl and I like doing it but my stamina is really shit and my hips start to get sore from being spread in that position. I've tried propping one leg up so only one of my knees is on the bed, but I still can't do it for very long and end up getting too tired to carry on when its starting to get good

No. 159562

File: 1605224184230.png (Spoiler Image,25.34 KB, 409x265, 48709327092463.png)

Keep trying different positions, it can be tricky to figure out what works best. I used to hear a lot of women say to squat in a sort of frog position (lol) over the guy and that was immensely uncomfortable and tiring for me. I lean forward and put my hands on his chest or above his shoulders for normal cowgirl, between his legs or on his shins for reverse. You can just twerk your ass up and down that way rather than having to be stick straight and using your thighs to raise your whole body. It's comfy to completely put my chest against his in that position too.

It sounds like you have smaller hips so just being on him is painful though? Rather than putting one of your legs up, can you have him spread or bend his leg so your body weight is supported by the cushy bed instead of his body? Kinda like pic rel. (Spoilering I guess but it's just a drawing not real people.)

No. 159737

For some reason I feel way too many reservations when it comes to sex. Like I'm embarrassed at showing pleasure. I feel pleasure and I crave it, but there seems to be some "block".

I haven't had any bad sexual experiences, and my family was never against sex or strict about it (but my parents are kinda strict).

Maybe because I'm a late bloomer? How do I fix this and let go? It probably feels awful for the guy too because I'm literally like a fish, embarrassed to do anything. Have I just not found someone I can let loose with?

No. 159739

There's no easy answer to this problem, but maybe some crazy ideas might get you thinking. Do you think you're reserved because you don't think he's worthy of pleasing you? Or maybe you just haven't gotten close enough with a man yet.

No. 159777

>Do you think you're reserved because you don't think he's worthy of pleasing you?
I don't know, I feel like the closer I am to someone the more I worry about it so it's not that.

No. 159779

I don't agree with >>159739 , I think what you're experiencing is actually the opposite of that which is that you yourself have feelings of shame over sex. It can happen regardless of whether you were raised to believe that or not. Why do you feel like it's embarrassing to show pleasure? Are you insecure with your looks or sharing a vulnerable part of yourself with your partner? Whatever it is, you'll need to reframe the way you think about sex and that it's not shameful or wrong to express the way you're feeling when you're having it. This is something I encourage you to discuss with your partner and perhaps also in therapy if the issue persists.

No. 159782

>sharing a vulnerable part of yourself with your partner?
possibly this. I don't want to appear vulnerable but at the same time want it? It's confusing. I probably do feel some shame but find no reason why.

No. 159918

Idk if this is the right thread but it deeply affects my sex life: In order to cum I have to imagine myself as a man, having a penis. I have no desire to become one though and I'm quite a feminine girl.

I suspect all the porn I have watched for years fucked me up. So I stopped for 3 months now, but it's still the same. I feel like a degenerate

No. 159921

Even before I got to the paragraph where you wrote about porn, I suspected porn. You've only given it up for 3 months after years of damage, it's going to take a long time to reprogram your brain

I will say that fantasizing about having a phallus to penetrate with can just be a kink and that's fine, or else straps wouldn't even exist, but needing to visualise it every time to cum sounds disordered. Maybe you just aren't into being passive during PIV sex, and things like getting on top whilst receiving oral might work better?

No. 159936

I 100% felt this way and eventually realized the reason was shame, that I subconsciously thought of women who enjoy sex as whores. I just had to stop lurking incel forums and keep reminding myself there's nothing wrong with it, my partner doesn't think negatively of me for enjoying it, and that it's a natural and beautiful part of life. Not sure if this will help but that's my experience

No. 159951

Hmm… I don't think I hold those views but subconsciously, maybe. I did spend a lot of time on 4chan so maybe it shaped my mind negatively.

No. 159964

I kind of feel this, though I have to imagine myself as someone else getting all the pleasure to feel anything. All my fantasies don't include myself or irl people I know, just anonymous figures. I don't know why I have this mental block for including myself in the mix, it doesn't stem from porn use or shame.

No. 160028

is it normal to genuinely feel attracted to a guy’s dick, balls and asshole… giving my bf blowjobs and rimming him just gives me so much pleasure and i’m soaking wet in under a few minutes. however most girls i know shriek in disgust at male genitals unless they’re really horny and some refuse to go down on their partners

No. 160033

If it's nice looking and clean, and you really like/love your bf, then why would it be not normal?

No. 160037

People just have different tastes and different limits.

I know men who won't eat pussy, I know women who hate blow jobs. Find a partner that matches up with your tastes and don't worry about how strangers have sex.

No. 160134

dick and balls yes… but asshole? rimming a man? don't fucking disgust me please

No. 160160

So I need some help regarding substances that are safe to get inside the vagina. I know this is weird af.

My husband is into wet and messy sex. It's a big kink for him. He likes to have sex while we're both covered in a non bodily fluid liquid like mud or chocolate syrup. I've explored this kink with him on numerous occasions but we're always careful to keep as much material out of my vagina as possible. Some always gets in, but I clean up as best as I can afterward. I know sugar is a big no-no, so I'm looking into other options for things to use.
We tried calcium bentonite tonight but I wouldn't let him get any inside me. A quick google search brings up lots of conflicting information when it comes to getting this stuff up inside your coochie. Some say it's good, some say that's bs. I don't know what to believe.

So what I'm wondering is if there are any other wet and messy fans here who might know more about it, or a better substance to use. I know it's a stretch, but can anyone give any advice?

No. 160161

I know nothing about it but maybe sex shops carry some kind of neutral fluids that are safe for the body? Like they sell some candles specially made for wax play.

No. 160162

If his fetish requires you to take risks with your intimate health (and only you, men don't have to stress this stuff) then maybe it's not all that reasonable to expect to take that risk.

If you can enjoy normal sex without having to worry about all sorts of aftereffects I would try and steer him away from even asking you to do this stuff

No. 160163


Also find it odd that you're the one who's put up with the task to find safe fluids for his fetish.

No. 160164

There's no pressure to do it at all. I'm happy to do it. I think partners should be willing to experiment with each other. We have regular vanilla sex all the time. The messy sex is not something we do frequently at all. It's really kind of a rare treat for him. Before tonight, the last time we did it was like 5 years ago. It's not like a fetish where it's mandatory in order for him to get off, it's just a kink.

Setup and cleanup are the most inconvenient part of it, but everything else is fine. I want to let him do it, but I want to do it safely. It's honestly kind of fun.

No. 160165

>you're the one who's put up with the task to find safe fluids for his fetish
Even married men don't fully appreciate the extra worries we have where even using the wrong lube leaves us in yeast infection hell. They'll never know the joy of those or UTIs at the drop of a hat so they just don't care

No. 160166

>I think partners should be willing to experiment with each other
Not at the cost of one partners sexual health anon. You're missing the point entirely with this whole spiel

No. 160167

look into edible chocolate body paint you get in sex stores? idk but I'd assume that's designed to be safe for sex since it's sold for smearing over yourself during a sexual activity

No. 160168

We're a team, and you're right, I don't think he knows enough about vaginal health to find it alone. He's offered plenty of input and told me as much as he knows. He was the one who found the stuff we used tonight actually.. It's really not about the "fairness" here for me. I'm past that.
We've not had any mishaps yet, luckily.

No. 160169

No, I understand why you might have an issue with it, but I don't. I don't care. I know the risks, and it's fine.

No. 160170

I did a bit of rimming when I was younger and I look back in absolute horror now, how my tastes changed over the years lol

Maybe it's aging and feeling less invincible but I'm more concerned about hygiene and risks now. Back then I was fine as long as it was post-shower but now… not a chance

No. 160171

That might work, but the issue there would be the amount you get. Maybe I can read the ingredients on it and see what it's made of and why it's considered safe. I'll check that out.

No. 160175

Why don't you use a bunch of lube? Am I misunderstanding what "wet and messy" means, or is it only limited to odd substances like chocolate syrup?

No. 160178

He prefers opaque liquids. I don't think color matters much. I know there are websites that sell "cum lube" and it's translucent/opaque. Maybe that might work! Good idea!

No. 160181

Wouldn't this be a good oppurtunity to sit down with him and show him the research that needs to go into fulfilling this kink? Like get him in on making an effort to find out what could be safe. Educate him on the hassle you're going to here.

No. 160198

This, even if it's just sending him the link to all the pages you looked at and asking what he thinks. You shouldn't have to do all the work around and he might even find it exciting to plan together

No. 160225

Y'ain't got no walls bitch, plain and simple.

No. 160232

We HAVE done this though. I said before, he was the one who brought up the bentonite clay we used yesterday, and we read about it together. There's just not a ton of information out there on shit that's safe to go inside your coochie. That's why I'm here. I was hoping someone more knowledgeable about this particular kink might happen to see my post.

We've been together for 11 years, and we communicate great. There's literally 0 concern about the ethics/fairness/whatever everyone in here seems to have a problem with.

No. 160240

>There's literally 0 concern about the ethics/fairness/whatever everyone in here seems to have a problem with
All I see is people addressing the health risk, like it upsetting the balance down there and him needing to be aware of what's safe too…That's just common sense anon. How are you getting this defensive?

> everyone in here seems to have a problem


No. 160245

Coconut oil is chunky before it melts, and has never irritated me. Other than that I would stick to various lubes.

No. 160253

Sorry, I did get a bit defensive. I was just getting frustrated by how many replies wanted to talk about him figuring this stuff out all by himself.

If you look back at the replies, a lot of them want to talk about that, when it's not what I asked at all.

No. 160255

i would have asked this in the birth control thread but it's pretty dead so… do any of you know if chia seeds interact with birth control pills? i read that it's possible and i happened to eat some earlier so i took an extra pill just in case but i wanted to know if they're something i should avoid as long as i'm on the pill

No. 160305

Your frustration is all on you. You didn't get dreadful advice, you didn't get all this attitude you're imagining. The amount of anons that actually bothered to reply to you and you are here 'critiquing' the advice. Take it or leave it but get over yourself. It's free advice

No. 160368

This is more masturbation related but how do I finger myself into an orgasm
I feel pleasure and jolts when I’m near, but I can never cum without touching my clit
And even that orgasm is pretty weak to me

No. 160394

>but I can never cum without touching my clit
so what? There's no clit orgasm, fingering orgasm, piv orgasm - it's all just an orgasm; if touching the clit works for you, great. Try mixing it up
Personally, I like fingering myself on the "upper wall" and then going for the clit, it's like I'm stimulating clit from the inside. The orgasm is powerful then

No. 160397

No, chia seeds won't fuck your bc up and yes you are dumb for taking two, what the hell anon.

No. 160398

Honestly you should ask your doctor if you want to be sure. I don't think you should take anonymous advice on the effectiveness of birth control, considering the potential consequences if anons are wrong.

No. 160399

I know that grapefruit, flaxseed, licorice, saint johns wart, charcoal and some detox teas can all interfere with birth control but I can't really find anything saying chia seeds do.

No. 160403

File: 1605792593159.jpg (202.74 KB, 1366x768, 14084419.jpg)

I have 2 questions since I'm a virgin and was just wondering this the other day

1. when you have sex with someone do you have the lights on or off? or maybe dim light?
2. does it change depending on if you're in a relationship compared to a hook up/ons (if you have those)

No. 160410

Tbh from my perspective others are overreacting. You clearly stated you're okay with it

No. 160412


I usually keep a small lamp or fairy lights on; the lighting is more flattering and less aggressive than harsh overhead lights. Means I can still see what I'm doing and the person I'm having sex with but I don't feel quite as awkward and exposed as I might do with the main light left on. If my boyfriend initiates and the main light is still on I just say "can you turn the big light off real quick?" early on so it doesn't interrupt the moment too much

No. 160414

No-one can answer that but you yourself, anon. Touch yourself in ways that feel pleasurable. It doesn't matter if you "only" touch your clit; that's what most women get their sexual pleasure from. It's your body, play with it like you want to, not like you THINK you should want to.

The clit is the only organ on the human body solely evolved for giving pleasure. It'd be a bit strange if you didn't enjoy touching it. Ring that bell all you want, anon!

No. 160421

Depends on you and your partner, I usually have the lights on hook up or not. Your partner will see your naked body one way or another so there is nothing to hide. But I prefer some red/pink/purple/blue light.

No. 160431

It gave me flashbacks to that aspie anon who had an (also aspie) bf with a fetish for fucking the hoods on hoodies. Anons told her to maybe reconsider shoving hoodies up into her vagina for health reasons. She went nuts, felt judged by people and kept stating how shit everyones advice was lol. It was extreme compared to this but yeah it's an ongoing theme that when OPs talk about their bfs fetish you have to choose your words real careful. Seen it play out a few times.

No. 160470

why do i suddenly think sex is gross? i've had a high sex drive my whole life, now i'm just like…ew, men.

No. 160471

How long have you felt like that?

No. 160476

Do you think you could be attracted to women?

No. 160481

It happens. Idk if it's hormonal or emotional or aging, but I've gone through the same thing throughout different periods of my life. Idt it's a big deal as long as you're okay with/mindful of it.

No. 160487

I go through long phases where I feel like this, 2 years into the current one and each time I wonder if it'll last forever. If you're single it's no biggie

No. 160496

For a few months now, i am attracted to women too and have had relationships with women(im with a man now) but recently i dont like the idea of sex with anyone…maybe i should just be a nun kek

No. 160497

I assumed you were single, how are dealing with it as a couple?

No. 160498

We aren't having sex as often, honestly when we do have sex, it's because he wants it. I'm still attracted to my partner and think he's sexy, i just don't want to have sex. Its nice but I just dont want to do it if that makes sense

No. 160513

How can I get my boyfriend to actually make love to me? He thinks that we make love to each other now and that we don’t “fuck” but I feel like we only fuck. We pretty much only have sex doggy style bc it’s his fav, but it feels way less intimate to me. I feel kind of sad bc I just want to connect with him.

No. 160522

Take control and get on top, if he'll let you.

No. 160527

Sorry for the basic bitch advice anon, but it’s because it’s almost always the right answer: communicate. Use your words and tell your boyfriend that it feels rote and depersonalizing to always have sex doggy style. Tell him you will be having sex in missionary or cowgirl or whatever other face to face position you enjoy, tell him to slow the fuck down and look into your eyes, engage in more foreplay, tell him to give you compliments and say he loves you during. Take control and be explicit about what you want. If he starts getting overly excitable then say nope, this isn’t what we discussed, we do it your way all the time and we do it my way more often or you’re not getting any.

No. 160551

Years ago I had a porn addicted ex that ended up cheating on me and being an awful person to me overall. I dislike porn, it doesn't arouse me at best and gives me anxiety at worst. So, I don't watch it, and don't really condemn my boyfriend watching it although I regularly reiterate how unhealthy I think it is. He suggested watching porn together and said it's really affecting us. I got really upset and all the shitty feelings got immediately triggered and now I can't stop crying because I don't want to watch it or hear about it so bad.
Have any of you had similar feelings? I probably need therapy to work through this trauma, at least. I just ignored it for years.
On the other hand, what is so wrong with not watching porn? Why is it expected?

No. 160556

What the fuck? Anon, it's not normal to watch porn with your bf even if he/other people try to make it so. This coomer I had a fling with had me watch porn with him (as a non-watcher) and it was cringey and disgusting, nothing but a turnoff. The fact that he'd rather have you work through your trauma by experiencing the trauma of millions of other women in the name of intimacy and getting his dick wet is gross. You're not the one with a problem, he and other scrotes are.

No. 160562

Have you dated anyone else in the years since?

No. 160568

Porn is not a normal part of a relationship and you shouldn't waste your time with anyone who is addicted to it.

No. 160569

Talk to him outside of the bedroom. Specifically mention that you would like some face to face sex. Say "I love you" during. It might help if this is additional sex, instead of replacing the doggy style, which he probably likes because it feels good to him. You can have time for both. Also, try not having sex if you have a long night to spend just the two of you. Tease each other all night, but keep your pants on.

No. 160572

I hope you leave this waste of air. I fucking hate this society where watching explicit videos of strangers is considered the norm. It’s okay to want sex to be loving and intimate, something you only share with your partner. It is widespread but not used by everyone anon. Don’t let him try to weasel into your brain and convince you to give up your values. There’s nothing wrong with your views at all and in fact you are morally superior in every way. Don’t waste your time with scrotes like this, you deserve better.

No. 160576

My bf has a low libido and we haven't had sex yet, I've been asking him to work on us because I want to fix it and he said he would so I gave him time to feel ready and in between this he decides to jerk off to porn and I can't get over it. I feel so insecure and sad about it but it feels weird to get so upset over him jerking off once to porn lol anons help.

No. 160578

A low libido is one thing but him jerking off shows he does have a libido and he's not sharing with you, a shitty question to have to ask but do you think he's not attracted to you?

No. 160579

My boyfriend told me that he feels ashamed after we have sex together. This upset me a lot, but he told me it wasn’t my fault and he has always felt this way. He blames biology and says all men feel this way, but I’ve never been with anyone else only him. I have read that men feel disgusted and ashamed from ONS with women they don’t care about, but not with their girlfriends.

I don’t even want to have sex with him anymore knowing how he feels afterwards. I still let him, but the whole time I just think about what he said to me and I can’t even relax or feel good during. I don’t even feel close to him after sex anymore. I just look at him and feel sadness and emptiness. Why even have sex with me if he feels so ashamed? I have so many insecurities about the way I look and he knows that I do. I don’t even understand his motivation for telling me information that is going to make me feel bad about myself.

No. 160580

>We pretty much only have sex doggy style bc it’s his fav
I've always been one for being very vocal about what position I want. I suspect that (even apart from the intimacy issue) the angle that a dick is entering from has more effect on our pleasure than theirs. Even if he has his own favorite don't let him dictate that he's always picking the position and it's always the same shit where lets be honest him wanting to look at your ass is taking priority over your enjoyment right now. Speak up about what you want.

No. 160581

>I don’t even want to have sex with him anymore knowing how he feels afterwards. I still let him, but the whole time I just think
Doing this is going to give you so many issues that you'll carry into your future relationships too. Step one here is not to 'just let him have sex' and know you're going to be upset throughout it and afterwards. That's emotionally scarring yourself.

Take sex off the table til you talk these issues out. If you can't open up and deal with these issues then you have no business having sex with each other

No. 160582

I did think he was for quite a bit but I can't see how he isn't. He's not withholding affection in any other way from me. We cuddle, kiss, hold each other and everything. He also compliments me a lot. so there's no way he's forcing himself to do that if he's genuinely not attracted to me? If you know what I mean.

No. 160583

Dump him, anon.
Huge red flag right here. He does have a libido, he just trained his monkey brain to get aroused to porn rather than the real thing. Sorry to break it to you, but he's not worth being with you.

No. 160584

I'm not being funny but I know closeted gay people who kissed, cuddled and all that except for actually fucking so it can be done convincingly. But he is the only person who can explain what is up with his lack of excitement for you. I wouldn't blame you for dipping, this sounds like an uphill battle instead of a fun time.

No. 160585

Pretty sure most men feel an ego boost after sex, maybe he's conflating some men being ashamed after they cum jacking off to porn for feeling like a loser or looking at something fucked up with actually having sex to pretend that's normal.

If it's any consolation that kind of reaction is never about the partner, especially when accompanied with the "it's normal" denialism which implies he knows it's about himself and expects it with any partner, and is usually about him being raised religious, being molested as a kid or having some demented fetish he can't stop thinking about. Probably time for therapy for him and you.

No. 160586

Demand respect for what you want and a balance between your and his wishes.

No. 160602

There's this "post-nut clarity" meme but it's mostly about porn or how men behave when horny. It's not normal to feel ashamed after sex, don't believe this shit.
I actually really like the after sex moments with my bf, especially when we can fall asleep together, holding each other. So I really feel for you, you must feel very alone and disconnected. You need to talk with him about it asap. As an anon said, you're doing yourself damage by sleeping with him when you feel like this. You need to tell him he hurt you and that he needs to explain this shame to you so you can work on it together, if not - you can't have sex with him. If he refuses to be honest or change, you should go away. It's for your sake, you really don't want that experience, we scar very easily when it comes to fucked up intimacy.

No. 160607

I agree with others that it's definitely not normal for most men (or women) to feel that way, particularly in an established relationship. Is he religious or formerly religious? A lot of people like that carry around guilt surrounding normal sexuality since they're told it's bad and immoral. Also, I wonder if he may have some sort of sexual trauma. Men have a tendency to play it off as no big deal, but even if it was something like briefly being touched inappropriately as a kid or an adult speaking to him in a sexual way, it might have had an enduring effect on his ability to enjoy sex. In any of these cases, please understand that his issue has nothing to do with you or your attractiveness; this is something stemming from him alone.

No. 160610

"All men do XYZ!!!" is something men (yes. all. men.) do to weasel out of responsibility, be it washing their fucking hands after going to the loo or mistreating their partners. Go carefully, anon.

>Why even have sex with me if he feels so ashamed?

You said it yourself. He's gone out and said that he feels shame about fucking you - that's a value judgement on his part about you. It might be repressed issues on his part, but it's not your job to resolve, and you are not his therapist. He can take his ass to therapy and try and fix himself, but it is not your job to become his ever-understanding Mommy Therapist Nanny, or to start changing yourself to "meet his needs because he has a hard time".

You can tell him to get help, nicely, but that is where your responsibility ends, OK? Don't set yourself on fire to keep him warm because he's fucked up and needy - it will mess up your own body image and confidence for years to come. It's not about you, and don't let him make it about you.

No. 160841

File: 1606091790353.gif (568.72 KB, 500x500, some sort of magical hamster.g…)

How quickly can you get noticeable (to your partner) improvement from doing crazy amounts of kegels? Especially in overall muscle tone or tightness, I already do them during intercourse, though I could probably improve my game in that respect too. Ahh give me your best tips, my bf is away until mid January and I miss him and really want to blow his mind when he comes back ggghh

No. 160860

This post is just so sad to me

No. 160864

why put so much effort into something so random for a long distance guy?

No. 160866

It's kind of a meme. It doesn't add much sensation. Put two fingers inside yourself and squeeze hard. The amount of pressure it adds is minimal. I've done them in the past for several months (mostly to see if it would improve my orgasms, not men's since they cum so easily anyway) and it didn't change much at all. The guys felt a bit extra pressure, but the biggest sensation changes and "tightest" feelings came from simply changing positions. Not that difficult. They're really only necessary if you've given birth and are pissing yourself.

No. 160893

File: 1606130189564.png (146.47 KB, 500x506, comforble.png)

What the hell folks, it's not some long distance coomer I'm pining for, this guy is just away for a couple of months to finish a dissertation. I know most guys are what they are but there are a few wholesome ones in the mix, it's totally worth it to put in reciprocal effort to make someone happier even with random things.

Ahhh thanks, that's what I feared. He just started SSRIs which reduce sensation a bit, not drastically but it would be nice to compensate for the side effects.

No. 160998

You can squeeze your kegel muscles all day but if you haven't got an existing issue with them then you won't be achieving anything.

You can't expect yourself to compensate for the issues on his end, if it gets bad that's something he needs to discuss with the doc prescribing him his meds.

No. 160999

>It's kind of a meme.
I've always thought this but never mentioned it because I don't know much about them. Like, people talk about kegels as if they're a guaranteed, proven way to increase tightness noticeably, but is there actually any science to back it up? Pelvic floor physiotherapy is a legit thing but that's more about physical issues like bladder control I assume, not giving you a fantasy porn star vag. 'Tightness' is so subjective and can be affected by so many external factors I can't imagine it's ever been measured or studied properly.

No. 161003

>women training their kegels for muh tight pussy
>meanwhile scrotes are barely bothered to wash their ballsack before sex

Love yourself first anons.

No. 161010

I've attended some workshops with a physioterapist and basically it's pretty much what >>160866 said, kind of a meme, especially when done by yourself for the sake of guy's pleasure as you have very good chance of messing yourself up long term. Sure your bf will enjoy it a lot but then you may end up having hard time manually controlling the urge to piss (same muscles) and you'll end up pissing yourself in your sleep or something; not worth for the dick. As with any exercise without a professional help you have a solid chance of doing more bad than good. Especially with "crazy amount" of it.

No. 161013

Thing is.. when sex is good our vaginas expand in response, it's in our design and it's a sign that you're doing something right. Things don't feel as tight towards the end of your session.. that's normal sex. It means you're thoroughly aroused and any man with a grasp of that should enjoy the feedback your body is giving him.

I honestly think some scrotes out there are either self conscious because that makes them feel small or they're aware that they need a death grip to get off… and surprise it gets turned around and perfecty normal young childless women are fretting about doing their kegel exercises. In this case the guy is on SSRIs… not exactly a womans job to have a vagina that can somehow cancel out the side effects of any medication the man takes. Like ffs why do we take on problems that aren't ours lol

No. 161034

>Sure your bf will enjoy it a lot but then you may end up having hard time manually controlling the urge to piss (same muscles) and you'll end up pissing yourself in your sleep or something; not worth for the dick.

I'm pretty sure Kegels was developed to HELP with incontinency, so I doubt it'd have the reverse effect. It wasn't a sexy thing from the start, it's just the way it got popularized. But unless you're 50+ or over 3+ kids, I doubt you need it.

No. 161163

What the hell do i do during sex besides lay there and grip and touch his body? i dont want to be one of those girls who just turns into a dead fish in bed because thats not sexy. unless im on top i dont know how im supposed to be more "active" during sex.

No. 161169

You said you go on top sometimes so I fail to see whats wrong with laying back and just enjoying how it feels without worrying about performance. Take turns and it's a non issue.
>i dont want to be one of those girls
Where are you reading this shit?

No. 161172

Just being on the bottom is not being a dead fish though. Don't let that get in your head.

No. 161181

There's lots of things you can do. Embrace your partner around their neck, suck/play with their nipples, rub your own clit, kiss, power bottom a little (especially during coital alignment).

No. 161224

not really looking for advice, just want to vent… (I think the next thread should be called "Sex talk" instead of advice, because why only advice? It's the only active sex thread)
My boyfriend said, in the context of a guy in the show we were watching cumming very quickly, that that's why sex with strangers is more pleasurable. Because it lasts longer, because you're not that attracted to a person. He explained that most of it is in your head, so if you really like someone you orgasm faster. I shoved him away and jokingly said okay, from now on you'll only have sex with strangers then, but honestly his remark made me sour for the rest of the evening. Men are so tactless. I know in his little male brain he thinks he's complimenting me (ooh I'm so attracted to you I come fast) but for me it sounded fucking tone deaf in regards to my feelings to say sex with strangers is so cool. Ugh.
Digression, but I also hate that it's a thing for men, while we usually need deeper intimacy and emotional closeness to be comfortable and satisfied. Wish I could orgasm from air like men do.

No. 161228

Eh? That may be true for him but that's weird and certainly not common for most guys. Many of them are anxious with performance anxiety the first time with a new girl, so they either tend to blow early or alternately can't even stay hard much less "successfully" have sex. When they're in a long-term relationship they can usually last longer because they aren't as psyched out and have the mental fortitude to pace themselves knowing they can live to bang another day. In any case, that was an extremely gross comment and he should've realized how insulting it was to mention it to his girlfriend of all people. Did he actually use the words "more pleasurable"? And not just comment on him being able to last longer in that context? I would be seriously turned off by that and said okay then, I'd hate to hold you back from "more pleasurable" sex, bye. Fucking scrotes.

No. 161231

> sex with strangers is more pleasurable. Because it lasts longer, because you're not that attracted to a person
I went through my sleeping around phase years ago and I felt like the excitement of fucking a brand new person made men cum too quick. I have memories of chatting and passing the time to give them time to be ready for a round two, because round one was nothing.

So what he's saying isn't common (if he's even being honest) Attraction takes a split second, without wanting to do the whole 'men are the visual sex' meme… well they are lol. Anyone with the right body type for them can have them attracted within one second of meeting. Is he admitting to you that he's met some unattractive women for sex and just gone through with it anyway?

No. 161233

This sounds like he's trying to make an excuse for why he cums so fast kek. Why would you even want the sex to last longer with someone you're not attracted to? Dumb thing to say and makes no sense.

No. 161247

>Is he admitting to you that he's met some unattractive women for sex and just gone through with it anyway?
lol maybe that's it. Maybe he just slept around with whoever's willing. Or, like >>161233 says, it's a long-winded excuse. He is a bit insecure about it lately, I feel like even though we're months together he's still very in his head, very excited and can't pace himself. Not always, but often. He's a giving person in sex so it's not a big bother (for now).

From what I understood of it, he meant that a big part of attraction is emotional thus you're more aroused and excited with the person you actually like/love. With someone you don't know, you're not attracted to them as a person, only physically, so you can last longer.
He said it like it's a fact but your, anons, insight made me realize it's his personal opinion/feelings and it's not as universal as he imagines lol.
>Did he actually use the words "more pleasurable"? And not just comment on him being able to last longer in that context?
yes, that's why I took offense… I can't even imagine saying something like this and not worrying I didn't just hurt someone. Fucking scrotes indeed.

No. 161255

I've only ever orgasmed from using a hitachi vibrator. I like sex with my BF but when he spends too long on eating me out I'm like "ok get to the point" because I like the penetration feeling/~connection~ from PiV sex. I do notice that I like when his belly is a little bigger because I sort of get that humping/grinding motion on my clit.

Does anybody else require that grinding/humping/tugging motion around your clit to come? Is there a technique I should ask my boyfriend for other than trying to ride his jaw while he goes down on me? I feel a little bad because he loves giving head lol.

No. 161262

I think many women are like that. Oral doesn't give me much, it's hot for a little while but it doesn't make me orgasm.
The only way I'm able to cum with my partner inside me is simple: Sex toys.

No. 161276

I'm constantly surprised to hear that other women enjoy penetration. My best orgasms are either from oral or a vibrator while PIV is always uncomfortable at best. I can't fathom actually enjoying it.

Not trying to be snarky or anything, it's more like I'm jelly kek.

No. 161279

My ex was so fucking bad at giving head that I always pulled him away from there and told him to put the condom on. I think he thought I become so hot and bothered from the head, but honestly I was just so bored. I also like the penetration and the few seconds after, and also the eye contact during PiV. But I wonder if I'm actually that unsensitive to oral, or he was just so fucking bad and low effort that I could feel basically nothing from it. It'd actually match with his personality to intentionally do a bad job just so he won't be asked for more.

No. 161280

I like penetration, but it really depends on mood and my cycle. PIV can be extremely hot, but it can also be the biggest bore. My partner doesn't take it personally when I ask him to just finish though, so I don't have to pretend. It's almost never painful though, when it is I ask him to stop.
With PIV I really like the connection, even when it's not 100% I just feel super close to my partner.
However, I can only cum from it under specific circumstances while I can get myself off in like 30 seconds flat lol

No. 161281

Yes, I can only come from rubbing my clit. I also like penetration, I just work on my clit when I feel worked up enough. I think orgasm from clit-rubbing when he's inside is way more intense than sole masturbation. It's like, the clit gets stimulated from the inside too (which unfortunately isn't enough alone). Try positions that allow you to have a hand between your legs, my fav is sex from the side.
For oral, I have no advice, it also gives me nothing besides a nice feeling and a little power trip. Try telling your bf to do the clit rubbing for you. Or use your hitachi for you. I think oral is overrated in general.

No. 161284

Is it just impossible for some women to orgasm? Nothing works even though I’ve been trying for years. Any advice would be great but honestly feel like I’ve tried almost everything - masturbating in different ways, chilling out and not stressing over it, casual sex/sex with longterm partner, different toys, fetishes, therapy, pelvic floor exercises. I’ve had periods of depression but even in happy times I just can’t. I can quite easily get close but there’s always a hurdle that’s impossible to get over.

The only time it might have happened was with my ex (the only guy I’ve truly been in love with, blah blah blah). He wasn’t any hotter than my other exes or any better in bed, but I refuse to believe it’s because we’re fairytale soulmates lol.

No. 161289

It seems like you have a healthy and curious approach to sex and your own sexuality so although I can't tell you how to do it, I'm sure you will find a way eventually.
I know it can be disheartening but it's such a personal journey, please don't try to compare yourself to anybody else.
You could try tantric/meditative masturbation, focusing on your breathing and touch only. If you can keep the same curious but unhurried mentality I'm sure you'll find out something interesting about your sexual responses, even if you don't orgasm.
>fairytale soulmates
It's not that he's special, but the way you felt about him was special and intense, so that probably did something.
Personally, the book Come As You Are really enlightened me as to how female sexuality works in theory and practice, i recommend it to everyone.

No. 161300

It took me like 3 hours of intense clit rubbing to get a weak orgasm the first time, so dont give up

No. 161311

is it true men generally hold back making a lot of noise during sex? I saw this thing online recently where women were saying men need to make more noise, moan and grunt and not hold back. some guys were saying it was because of years of trying to keep quiet while jacking it.

in your experience are the guys you're with noisy? do they moan or generally stay pretty silent?

No. 161313

File: 1606416455061.jpg (37.14 KB, 600x490, coital-alignment-technique-pic…)


Google Coital Alignment.

No. 161314

I think if anything we're taught to put on a vocal performance so men seem weirdly quiet in comparison to us.

I live alone and masturbate silently, orgasm silently, go nuts with a dildo and maybe make a sound from that. But for me moaning is mostly put on for sake of giving good feedback. Would be nice to have the feedback mirrored back I guess.

No. 161317

I can't orgasm either anon. Sex feels good but doesn't really go further than feeling nice, masturbating might feel alright for about 2-3 minutes then I get bored/disinterested no matter what I'm doing, oral is good in fantasy but in practice is really meh. I still have sex because it feels good enough and it's a power trip to hear my SO moan but it's nothing mindblowing.

No. 161320

You can't seriously be confident in your inability to orgasm when you stop masturbating after 3 minutes because you're bored. If you don't care enough to try harder that's fine but it's obviously a lack of effort rather than a physical problem.

No. 161323

Anon's >>161320 right. The consensus in sexuology is that women unofortunately have to learn to have orgasms. Mostly we just discover what works without really putting our mind into it but some need to spend time exploring themselves. It's an effort

No. 161328

I remember I had to really frustrate the hell out of myself desperately trying to achieve my first orgasm. Months of getting close and laying there in a sweat all defeated… I eventually bought a vibe hoping it'd be a shortcut and it was but then I slowly trained myself by hand next. Not the nicest word for it but yeah realistically it was.. Work.

Trying to achieve an orgasm from oral was the same. I was honest with my partner that it'd take effort and concentration from us both lol. If I hadn't laid it out to him so honestly I feel I would've had no chance of getting there. I didn't fake things, I had a guy with stamina wanting to put effort in and we had some loong sessions before the magic moment came. Effort, work and training, not romantic words but they sum up the route to all my first times. It gets way easier after that

No. 161342

I definitely am vocal involuntarily at times. Even alone in my bedroom I worry sometimes if people downstairs can hear.

No. 161344

anyone else is like this? for me, penetrative sex feels the best when i'm only slightly wet (i get wet during the process not before). if my bf puts it in when i'm soaking wet, i can barely feeling anything lmfao.

No. 161350

samefagging but excuse the mistakes and typos the autocorrect tool on my phone is fucking weird

No. 161357

tbh I don't even think that's necessarily true. I didn't have to learn jack shit when we installed a detachable showerhead lmao, it just automatically works and I'm sure sex toys are similar.

Using fingers takes a fair bit of time and effort but that's just because it's physically kinda difficult to do, like your arm might start hurting or your vag dries up a bit and you just stop because it's more effort than it's worth. I've always thought half the problem with women not being able to give themselves orgasms and men not being able to give us one is literally just getting bored and stopping too soon, not that what they're doing wouldn't eventually work.

No. 161373

Nta but while Hitachi wands and shower heads are a cool way to skip the effort it's still nice to know you can get off manually.

I remember a point where if my vibrator died mid-session that was my hope of an orgasm gone til I had charged it back up for a couple hours lol. Too many moments like that made me want to retrain myself to get off without toys too. I don't want to need them every time.

No. 161380

I don't really like cumming with a vibrator, I just lay there and get off in two minutes and I'm usually too sensitive for a second round, so boring. When I use my fingers,I need to get myself in the mood, find a nice doujinshi and gradually let it build. It feels way more rewarding like that and I can cum several times. I use the vibrator only when I can't sleep.

No. 161390

Yeah vibe orgasms are a bit hit and miss for me and I think it's the lack of build up that makes them less satisfying.

No. 161529

Is it even possible for me to get what I want out of sex? I don’t cum. I don’t even feel close to my boyfriend anymore. After sex I don’t even want to be around him. He just uses me. Today, he tried to just put his dick in me without even touching me beforehand. It hurt so bad I had to tell him to stop. Then he fingered me for a minute maybe less then put his dick in me. I just cried with my face buried into the carpet the whole time. I wanted to tell him to stop so many times during, but I couldn’t. I was just thinking to myself maybe he’ll cum and it’ll be worth it. He didn’t even cum. I was in pain and feeling bad about myself the whole time and he couldn’t even finish after 40 minutes of fucking me. I just want our sex life to be good. What’s wrong with me? I try to go along with whatever he likes to satisfy him, but I can’t even do that

No. 161533

have you talked to him about this? the 40 minutes of no cumming - is he pornsick? either way, it sounds excruciating and I'm so sorry anon and you really need to stop this before you traumatise yourself further.

No. 161534

Anon wtf, break up with him. He sounds like a rapist.

No. 161549

I have told him before that it makes me really sad when he doesn’t finish. He just said he was sorry and he doesn’t know why he can’t finish sometimes. It always takes him a really long time to finish. He told me he likes edging himself. He told me he can only cum once a day and can’t get an erection again after finishing.
Him taking so long to finish makes me feel so insecure too. It makes me wonder if he’s even attracted to me. Like if he actually liked me or was attracted to me I wouldn’t be having the issues I am having now.
He’s not tho. When I told him it hurt he stopped. I just care more about his pleasure than I care about mine, but neither of us are receiving pleasure so I don’t understand the point.

No. 161552

You should really talk to him about doing foreplay before trying to penetrate you in any way. That can include sexy talk, kissing, touching your body all over, etc. Just taking it slow before and letting the excitement build up before he puts it in, that could help you both a lot.

No. 161554

Anon, what the hell. Leave him, he clearly doesn't give a shit about your comfort. You're telling me he couldn't tell you were crying into the carpet and in pain? He was fucking you on the floor for forty minutes while you were crying and he couldn't tell anything was off? Add to that the fact that he doesn't seem to give a single shit about the problems your sex life has and the way it's affecting your relationship, isn't speaking to a doctor or therapist, isn't working on whatever this issue is. There's red flags all over the place here.

No. 161557

>I just cried with my face buried into the carpet the whole time.

Please leave your scrote, this sounds like legitimate torture anon.

No. 161558

It kinda sounds like he felt emasculated by the thing you were watching which prompted him to brag about his casual sex encounters to…his own girlfriend. Embarrassing.

No. 161580

>I just cried with my face buried into the carpet the whole time. I wanted to tell him to stop so many times during, but I couldn’t.
So the anon saying this sound rapey? She’s not wrong. The fact of the matter is, you wanted sex to stop. While you didn’t verbalize that you wanted it to stop, your crying was still a clear indicator that you felt that way, communicating sadness and distress. He still chose to continue regardless. Men are not quite so retarded as we like to say they are; studies have shown they are just as capable at recognizing nonverbal cues as women. If they’re not responding to them, it just means they are choosing to ignore them. So the individual who’s supposed to love and care about you more than anyone else in the world is choosing to ignore your pain and suffering for… not even any payoff. Fuck this piece of shit anon, and not literally. This is not a healthy or happy relationship, clearly, and you deserve better.

No. 161597

>When I told him it hurt be stopped
Anon, if someone gives a fuck they can tell when the person they're being intimate with is not into it.

Don't let this scrote scar you mentally because he thinks sex is like porn. You deserve better.

No. 161620

anons are right to call this out as a rape. Anon, I read it before going to sleep and it made me so uneasy I decided I will leave replying to others, as I was sure someone too will feel outraged and asnwer. I couldn't fall asleep, my heart was acting weird. And I'm a stranger reading your post.
I'm not even sad for you, I'm angry, mostly about how deep in you are to not realize how fucked up that situation is. You probably won't listen to anyone here anyway so I hope someone irl will help you

No. 161631

>He’s not tho. When I told him it hurt he stopped.
Is he really not though? You say you had to tell him to stop (putting his dick in you) but then he fingers you for less than a minute before putting his dick in you AGAIN, while you're CRYING. Basically he conveniently made it so you didn't teeeechnically said no verbally when he put his dick in for the second time but there clear reluctance.

Here's some advice:
1. Say no when you don't want to have sex.
2. Get a better boyfriend who doesn't rape you (or if you don't agree he's a rapist, get a boyfriend who doesn't fuck you while you're crying).

Your boyfriend raped you, end of story.

No. 161795

Am I a virgin? I've never had PIV but I gave a blowjob once

No. 161805

>My partner doesn't take it personally when I ask him to just finish though, so I don't have to pretend. It's almost never painful though, when it is I ask him to stop.
Wtf how regularly are you letting this man just masturbate into your body as you grit your teeth and watch the clock? Just because you don't "have" to pretend to come doesn't make it right.
You don't have to do this. Stop traumatising your body.

This website makes me so depressed what the fuck

No. 161824

I think you might've misunderstood me. I'm talking about the times I'm horny but when he puts it in it's kind of meh, which happens sometimes in my cycle. I still enjoy the emotional connection and I like him cuming inside me, but when it's not amazing physically I don't need him to delay his orgasm to get larger gratification for myself. Would never have sex I'd have to grit my teeth through wtf

idk I may not be great with words, but I'm not traumatising my body or whatever.

No. 161835

Anon, if it hasn't already, this will fuck you up in the long run. Please leave him. He is raping you.

No. 161836

Anon, I'm sorry, but you're in denial.
You don't have to verbalize everything to make it clear to someone that you're uncomfortable or in pain.
Moreover, you were fucking CRYING. A caring partner doesn't only want to avoid hurting you, he wants you to enjoy yourself. So even if you didn't cry but just lay there expressionless and quiet, a normal partner would be worried that something's wrong and wouldn't proceed with fucking you.
You choose to endure it because he does make you feel guilty for your sex life or not only that somehow. Get out of this relationship and seek therapy.

No. 161845

That's very different to how I interpreted your first message yeah, I'm glad you explained that.

No. 161850

Would never have sex I'd have to grit my teeth through wtf

You literally said that you were crying and it was excruciating, now your getting mad that anons thing your shit head bf is a rapist?

No. 161856

I think that's a different anon if you follow the thread/links.

No. 161897

Yeah, as >>161856 said, we're not the same anon. The only time I've cried from sex with my partner is when I was overcome with emotion about how great he is lol

No. 162094

Dunno if it's the right thread to ask this, but how do I get over my hangups about sex? I must preface by saying I didn't grow up in a trad or religious home not was I subjected CSA, I think I've always been an awkward person. I cannot picture myself as a sexual being, I get some kind of secondhand when I read stuff like "sex is awesome", as if it's other people who can have sex, not me. I don't think I'm a prude because I masturbate and I joke about sex with coworkers and shit, but when it comes to the real stuff, I feel like an alien among humans. I had previously resigned myself to never have sex so I didn't care about it, but unexpected developments happened and I'm probably going to get intimate in the following months, so I've been really nervous about it recently.

No. 162136

I guess you've found someone you're interested in romantically and that's the change? Be honest with them. Tell them upfront that you're awkward about sex, and that you'll have to take it slow and need some time to explore. Any person worth their salt would be understanding.

No. 162151

>how do I get over my hangups about sex?
by having it.
are you a bit older maybe? I lost my virginity in my twenties, I'm a late bloomer and I still am awkward about sex but I enjoy it and need it now. I think it unfortunately happens, I mean the anxiety, awkwardness and reluctance, due to not doint it when you're stupid and reckless in your youth. I kinda regret being reasonable and shy. But it is how it is.
You don't really know much of a sexual being you are until you do it, I believe. We're not men - I think we can be sexually dormant and okay. But you won't truly know, so just try it and see. You don't have to keep having it if you won't like it.

No. 162174

Agree with this 100%. I was such a prude and thought men's bodies were gross (and was perfectly fine being a virgin until I die) until I actually had sex. It was like a switch flipped. It's completely normal to be nervous, as long as you have a patient nice guy to be your first you've got nothing to worry about.

No. 162195

Yeah, I've been getting closer to a guy, and while I would not call him my boyfriend yet, he is the first person I'd consider having sex with. I already told him I've never been in a relationship before and that it's probably going to be difficult because I'm a very solitary person, at least he seemed understanding, so we'll see how it goes. Last month he invited me to spend the night at his place and I freaked out, then the second lockdown happened and I couldn't help being relieved lol.
I'm glad to know that I'm not the only one who feels like this. I'm indeed at this age where it's considered really embarrassing to still be a virgin, which I really don't care about, I've always been annoyed by all these expectations that you're supposed to sleep around when you're young, so I don't regret anything (I was so fucking depressed in college anyway, hooking up would have been a disaster). I'll think I'll eventually try to have sex, but due to my schizoid and autistic tendencies I'm not sure I'll enjoy it very much kek.
The real tragedy is that I'll probably never be as attracted to real people as I am to anime husbandos and waifus, kill me…

No. 162220

Virginity is basically a patriarchal societal construct and becomes incoherent when you consider that lesbians and gay people exist.

So feel free to consider yourself a virgin or not, literally whatever you want.

No. 162285

I want to have sex so bad. I have tried so many times with my boyfriend but it's just so incredibly painful when he tries to put it in. I can only insert tampons with a plastic applicator but I can finger myself too. When it comes to him fingering me or penetration it just doesn't work. How do I work through this? It's so frustrating because I am aroused just fine and we use lube.i don't know what is wrong with me.

No. 162295

Are you nervous when it’s happening or is he particularly large? Tampons and fingers are significantly smaller than an average penis as is. It’s really good that you guys are using lube, that was a suggestion I was going to make. Not sure otherwise.. maybe more foreplay and him fingering you first?

No. 162320

Go talk to your gynaecologist. Seriously, not being able to have sex is an impediment to your happiness and any good doctor should at least try to help you figure out what the problem is.

No. 162327

Has anyone tried CBD/other ~pleasure enhancing~ lubes?

To climax I basically need to concentrate alone in the dark with a vibrator and no distractions. I enjoy sex with my fiance for other reasons but sometimes I feel bitter for not cumming (he's willing to put in the work, but it often gets ruined for one reason or another after so much effort so I don't even want to bother). We're going to try the CAT method next time we're able to be together but might as well throw everything at the wall to see what sticks.

No. 162332

oh thanks for reminding me of CAT, wanted to try it too.
I don't know how okay with drugs you are, but after weed cookies I'm crazily sensitive and so is my boyfriend, so maybe that's a universal thing? After alcohol I'm numb like a stone, after smoking I'm just tired and lazy but edibles? Not to be cringy but I felt like screaming with every thrust

No. 162335

What is the CAT-method?

No. 162336

Sounds like vaginismus, anon. Next time you try to have sex, pay attention to your muscles. Are they relaxed? Or are you clenching them? Also, do you find your boyfriend physically attractive?

No. 162337

it's like missionary, but the guy is higher on you, so he's not really deep into your pussy like usual. His dick's base is touching your clit. He shouldn't do thrusts but kinda grind, so you get some feeling from him being inside but mostly from the dick grinding on your clit. From what I understand you're also supposed to move your hips but I haven't tried it yet so I'm not sure around the logistics besides "clit is being rubbed" lol. But I heard a lot of women climax from this. Well it's good ole clit rub so I'm willing to believe that. Sorry if you understood nothing, I'm drunk. Google it for instructions