/g/ - girl talk

Anyone else had vaginal problems caused by sex for seemingly no reason? Did you ever find a solution aside from no longer having sex with that person? I keep getting problems with my boyfriend and he is my first sex partner, so I can't tell if it's just related to him. We are also long distance and are only together irl twice a year for a month at a time, so the only time we have sex is during these visits, unsure if this could be relevant.

>First met and had sex with my boyfriend in summer of 2023, I was his first and he was also my first
>I was on the pill and we did not use condoms, he also finished inside
>After the first time we had sex, I noticed that I had yellow discharge, but I assumed it was probably just leftover semen, so I wasn't really concerned
>Yellow discharge ended up never going away even after the visit ended, but I kind of got used to it and didn't think much of it
>Visited and had regular unprotected sex with him again in winter of 2023
>Yellow discharge continued, but no new symptoms
>Visited and had regular unprotected sex again in summer of 2024
>Started getting symptoms of a UTI shortly after, but when tested the results came back negative
>Assumed it could possibly be BV given the yellow discharge, used treatment gel but my symptoms didn't improve
>Symptoms continued on and off for a couple of months, seemed to only be getting worse
>Started getting spots of blood in my underwear so I got a vaginal swab, came back positive for staph bacteria
>Hospitalised for pelvic inflammatory disease a month later, November 2024
>Also tested at hospital for STDs, results all came back negative
>Was given a two week course of antibiotics that ended up giving me both vaginal and oral thrush
>Decided that I wouldn't let him finish inside of me after this experience, stopped taking BC anyway so it wouldn't be possible regardless
>Visited him again in December 2024, first had sex almost immediately after treatment ended
>First time was without condom but he pulled out
>Yellow discharge appeared to restart almost immediately after
>Due to the fact that the time between finishing treatment and having sex again was super short, and that I was on my period during the second week of treatment, I honestly don't know for sure if the yellow discharge did ever truly go away
>Do however know that even if it didn't go away, it wasn't anywhere near as bad as it was after I first had sex
>Started mostly using condoms after that, did go without a couple of times but he always pulled out
>Around a week and a half after the first time, I started having terrible shooting pains in my vagina which has never happened before, but this only lasted a couple of days
>Fast forward to now, starting to get a constant burning feeling in my vagina again and have noticed an odor a couple of times, scared it could be PID again

What the hell could be causing this? He showers at least once a day, often twice. He isn't circumcised but he washes his dick in the shower and I can visibly see that it is clean. He definitely doesn't have any STDs either. Are our microbiomes just incompatible or something? Will it ever get better?

>>464535
Your vagina's PH and bacteria culture might just hate your boyfriend. Semen can make the vagina smelly fishy, which some bio-troofers have theorized is a reproductive defense mechanism.

Since you've ruled out every other denominator but your boyfriend and his semen, it's probably safe to say that's what's causing it. If you have wildly different ph levels and bacteria (i.e, he is too acidic and your levels are too base, he's a meat eater and you're a vegan), you'll either find an equilibrium and symptoms will subside or you'll have to live with symptoms. You can also change your diet to make your vagina's PH balance more acidic, which could counteract this and probably reduce your chances of getting pregnant (not BC tho, ofc)

>>464547
Unless you mean precum, I did rule out semen during the last visit, and unfortunately it still happened. The closest it came in contact was when he ejaculated on my vagina externally one time, but this was after the other symptoms had already started. We're both omnivores and eat almost exactly the same food when we're staying together, however he also consumes a lot of protein on top of everything else as he goes to the gym, so maybe that makes him even more acidic than he should be? You could be onto something there. I'm also thinking of taking d-mannose supplements daily when we're together to see if that helps prevent any bacteria from growing, though not sure if it'd do anything for my vagina, maybe I'll try a probiotic too. Thanks for your response.

>>464550
Np anon, I should have mentioned that it's skin and semen. You're more likely to have a bacterial outbreak from semen but unprotected dick skin has it's own bacteria/yeast culture. So could be a possibility, hope you get it figured out either way

Do any nonas deal with "postcoital dysphoria"? Any tips on how to deal with it? I get really anxious and really sad after having sex. Start to hate my body and sometimes end up crying over feeling ugly. The sex is good btw so it's not that I'm not having fun or anything.

>>464535
Probably not the case if it looks clean underneath the foreskin but could it be that his idea of good hygiene is standing underneath the shower and just letting water run down there, nothing else while you've been thinking he's actually been washing his dick this whole time? I'd consider getting him to use intimate wash to 1000% rule out the possibility his hygiene is the issue.

I don't know how valid these claims are but I've heard before that shower gel can mess up the pH of genitals, maybe there's something going on there?

Anons is it true that most women don't suck dick neither like it? Or they are fooling me in the autism thread (I'm autistic trying to understand sexual intimacy). Is sucking dick really an unpopular opinion in the normie world?
Anytime I read women who share their sex lives online, they always suck dick in degrading ways but anons are telling me these sex lives are basically not real, and I'm making it up and online people are not real kek

>>471675
Sucking dick is standard practice among normies, whether the woman actually enjoys it though is another thing. I think it's safe to assume that most don't enjoy it, but still participate in it due to societal pressure.

>>471680
>societal pressure makes you a pickme
I hate this

>>471680
Samefag, I wanted to add onto this a little more. I haven't read your posts in the autism thread but to expand upon what I said, and to answer other parts of your post :
Blowjobs are one of the most common acts depicted in porn, and a large chunk of men nowadays are porn addicts, particularly the younger generation. This is obviously going to influence their sexual expectations and how they treat sexual partners. Even the small amount of men who don't watch porn, will still learn about what is expected of women sexually just by interacting with other moids and society as a whole (which has obviously been heavily influenced by porn too).
It is true that the majority of the stories you see online regarding sex are fake, or at least heavily exaggerated. They're usually either fantasies written by moids, or whores trying to gain money. Outside of that, the women who share that stuff are usually still doing it for pickme reasons, or feeling as if its something to "brag" to other women about, therefore also exaggerate things to make the experience seem better or more extreme than it was in reality. This still doesn't change the fact that blowjobs are commonplace though, the lies just tend to manifest when it comes to their supposed capabilities or enjoyment gained from doing so.
I'm also diagnosed with autism, but not enough for it to effect me much sexually, and I can tell you first hand that the men I've interacted with all expected/expressed desire to get their dick sucked, the majority being virgins too. From the young age of around 12, I'd also hear classmates talking about it in school as if it was normal. Obviously these things probably also vary by the country or area that you live in, but I'd say that for at least western countries, this is the case.

>>471675
Just read your posts quickly and want to come from a place of understanding as I also have distaste for the power men inherently seem to have in sex.

First, I'm not sure why you denied that clitoral stimulation exists? I've ridden my boyfriend's face and it was great. My many years of masturbation were almost solely clitoral and involved no penetration.
Second, you do not need to give blowjobs or have sex with men if it upsets you so much. When it comes to kinks and fetishes that people have, even if it is most people, you don't need to understand it completely nor like it yourself. You just shrug and move on. You can determine what you allow in your own sex life and you cannot control what other people do. If you keep replaying the thoughts that upset you in your head, you should speak about it in therapy. Really, I'm not even teasing. I'm concerned.
Third, people like to give oral to their partners because they like to see their partners experience pleasure. Often this is related to love. I am bisexual and in a vacuum outside of systemic sexism it just turns me on to make someone squirm, no matter what their hardware is. I'm not a pickme it's just hot and contributes to getting me off too, genuinely. You don't need to be service oriented with sex but some of us are. Like I said you just need to accept it. My boyfriend also likes being smothered in my genitals, which is uncomfortable in its own way as I am much larger than him, so it's not uneven. Which is another point, you mentioned men being "larger" people but you are in control of that. You can get jacked and date manlets kek, discovering my preference for that has helped me overcome hangups when I engage in hetero activities.
Fourth, as other anons mentioned unfortunately many women do just have sex as expected be because of sexism. This can be upsetting but ultimately all you can do is choose NOT to live like that and instead do your own thing. Maybe let them know they don't have to do that if they're venting to you and seem miserable.

Hope this helps at least a little. Please remember your clitoris, and remember that men are a dime a dozen and if he pressures you to give him BJs IF you are uncomfortable then kick him to the curb.

>>471675
I'm given to understand that performing oral on men is considered a less involved/personal sexual practice, and so is more often practiced without actual sex. From what I've gathered, it's generally regarded as a kind of reward or enticement for the man; delivering a quick, expectation-free orgasm to express the woman's sexual desire for him. Ultimately, most women view it as a necessary chore, while there are those on the extremes of the spectrum who find it a degrading and disgusting experience, and those who find it very erotic or an enjoyable part of a dom/sub dynamic.

In my personal experience…I don't really know. In my imagination, it's an erotic act to make him desire me and surrender some control to let me pleasure him, but in reality my boyfriend will only begrudgingly accept blowjobs on very rare occasions when I'm feeling very in-control and kind of "seduce" him into accepting. It was kind of a blow to my erotic fantasies when he admitted that he found the idea of cumming on my face an incredibly demeaning act and if I seriously asked him to do it, it'd change his perception of me.

>>471712
>and if I seriously asked him to do it, it'd change his perception of me.
You had me until the madonna/whore complex anon

>>471714
It's not really madonna/whore territory. He just doesn't like anal, blowjobs or anything violent like choking or slapping.

How do you go on in life if you are a virgin and you don't want to have PIV or give a blowjob or have anal (gross). Im scared of the idea of PIV because I have painful menstruations, when I got a swab at a doctors it was super painful. I dont want to encounter a porn addicted moid who will try to pressure this. Should I just be celibate or go for women

>>471718
I also heard multiple stories of women who had painful periods, and their first time was really bad, painful, or they fainted because of PIV

>>471712
My nigel isn't crazy about receiving bjs either, he hasn't asked for it ever. I have an oral fixation so it was kind of a bummer, but I guess it's better than being pestered for oral every day of the week because that would quickly suck the joy out of it. I think his lack of interest stems in part from a discomfort with surrendering himself and allowing me to be completely in charge, so to speak. I can suck him off, but he prefers piv 10 out of 10 times. On the flip side I've met a lot of moids who wanted to do oral on me, and I think women can also struggle with letting themselves be vulnerable in that situation.

>>471718
There's always handjobs, toys, femdom type of stuff like sadomasochism and pegging(which I personally find disgusting but some women like it), cunninglingus. You can do the sort of sex you like, though it would be hard to know exactly what you like if you haven't had sex at all. If you really have an aversion to all of it then the only choice you really have is to either meet an asexual man (rare) or date a woman.

>>471727
I dont think asexual men exist. Men are very focused on sex, they lie about everything just to get sex, and if a man is "asexual" it could be low testosterone levels. Or something else. Mens sexuality is very predatory compared to womens. I wish for AI bots to become holograms already. Like in blade runner where the MC falls in love with an AI except its a beautiful guy.

>>471723
Did you really say
>Suck him off
? Do you have a degradation kink?

>>471680
Sucking dick is psychologically the same as bdsm with woman as the sub in service, same with being penetrated on all fours(physically submissive position, head down ass up, body spread at the bottom aka most intimate part of yourself+ that part gets penetrated), extremely vulnerable experience of physical and mental submission, I have a phobia of sexual submission but unfortunately the female body doesn't allow me to be anything but feminine and submissive in sex, I would pass out from mental torment if I had to be in submissive positions like this with my naked bottom and penetarted into the bottom from behind. I will forever be a virgin due to this, I also fing the idea of being fucked agitating and violating, because you have to surrender to dick, men don't have to surrender even cause their gentials are penetrative, so the stimulation they get is always psychologically masculine. The vagina is the negative energy aka feminine and dick positive aka masculine, a polarity, I also don't like being feminine so any kind of sex for me as a female body is not fullifling because I don't find being feminine fullifling… the vagina pulls in, the dick pushes, different psychology, unequal. I'm autistic and highly sensitive, so sex to me looks violent and the woman has the sub position in it, I can't break my mental blockage against this, my female body and the idea of being fucked from behind or sucking dicks constantly agitates me, I don't even wanna find the right man worthy of submitting, women have to feel secure enough to submit and have sex, I don't wanna live on that mental cage of being feminine snd vulnerable in sex, getting sexual pleasure feels like a job to me, blowjobs even have a job I it's name + they are violent and bruise your throat, hurt your jaw, you're in a physically submissive position during then, you have to train yourself to perform these movements etc. I can't stand the way sex looks like for women, and the thought of it gives me the same response trauma victims have, I shake, I struggle to breath, I feel terror etc. + People who suggest femdom.. femdom doesn't change the psychology of sex for women bc my biology doesn't change+ people who suggest clitoris.. clitoral orgasms are unfulfilling unless you also wanna experience femininity psychologically. Female orgasms are very psychologial and often don't come from physical stimulation but mental submission.. like this woman who said she gets off on sucking dick said. That's a burden to me and I absolutely cannot comprehend human sexual intimacy. I just can't, why are women so cucked in it? Literally most women even have degradation kinks, if you enjoy being fucked it's almost no different from being choked or slapped to me… I grew up hearing the teenage girls around me talking about getting slapped, today I went on nsfw Instagram just to see posts with hundred thousand likes or comments of women with degradation or choking kinks. I have a problem with intimacy as an autistic and I don't understand why women have to experience intimacy in these cucked ways. My brain turns off trying to make sense off this mess, I know many autistic women feel the same. Like I legit would DIE if I were to be fucked esp in certain positions or have a dick put in my mouth. I could bet million dollars that I would literally pass out from the mental pain and feeling of degradation and submisson. As a woman I can't even fuck a man from behind to make it equal lol this is a post of a disordered person ofc that's why I think about sex a lot, cause at the core level of s human being I'm broken, so this world is not normal to me like to women who enjoy their biology, the sexual submission and femininity, they see the dynamic between a man and a woman as normal, but my mind sees something shocking and unacceptable then I get images of these acts and positions haunting me in my mind, natural things haunt me… natural order of things… Natural sexual positions… Women backs are even more arched than males… In some study with some animals when they gave the male ones some hormones the females have, the males started arching their backs like females to get fucked… In almost all species the females get penetarted from behind, to me that's something torturous psychologially, I would shake if you forced me into that position.(ban evasion)

>>471718
If you don't care about sex just don't have sex, it'll save you a ton of stress and energy to do something else, if you don't crave romantic relationships or companionship it's even better.

>>471763
NTA but fear of sexual intimacy is a serious mental disorder and I have it too, plus some autistics just want to ask normies questions they were never allowed to ask and we're curious about some things. I have a sex drive but I have a phobia at the same time so it agitates me daily because I also experience crushes

>>471759
If you're speaking from a perspective of wanting to cure the phobia you have of sex, my best advice would be to date someone, maybe another virgin or conservative religious type, who is willing to take things extremely slow so you can slowly grow accustomed to doing the sexual acts you find revolting. Start off with the basics like holding hands, then kissing, making out etc, light petting/fondling. Take your time easing into it so you can break the mental block of sex = violence/pornography. It would help if you are in love. Be up front with your partner and tell them that you want to take things slowly as you are inexperienced and afraid of sex. If you're not looking to cure your phobia, then just don't have sex. You don't have to and more women than ever before are voluntarily celibate.

>>471759
Then just don't have sex. There are no rules about having to do it to fit in to society. I'm clit anon, and I promise clitoral orgasms feel great to me and yes PHYSICALLY.
Anyway I know you're autistic but this is OCD territory if it's real and you're not just trolling us. It should not be on your mind all the time, distressing you. If therapeutic techniques don't help with thought control then there are meds. I have a friend with severe OCD and she's good with them.
Please also work on your theory of mind skills. This has been hard for me too but if you can remind yourself that people lead different lives, you do not understand them, and you don't have to, then it makes moving on easier. For example, when I was younger I used to get very angry that other people would have sex outside of relationships because I would never do such a thing. I also do not understand why people are attracted to people who I find unattractive, but it is what it is. We can only control our own actions and our own thoughts, anon. Much of socializing is learning how differently other people function, which can be fun if you become confident in yourself and heal your mindset.

>>471759
>clitoral orgasms are unfulfilling unless you also wanna experience femininity psychologically
What does this even mean, i had clitoral orgasms before i even reached puberty and became sexually aware/knew what I was doing. It's a physiological reflex to stimuli. I'm sorry for your struggles. I agree with what other anonw said and also think you should stop going on nsfw instagram and the likes just to trigger yourself.

How do you flirt with an SO that you've been dating for a long while? I've been dating my Nigel for 3 years and sex has gotten boring for me. It's like we have sex by a formula - wash, get naked, make out, perform oral on each other, wash, done. Id like to do something different but I honestly don't know what else there is to do? It's making me sexually bored with my bf.

>>471947
The truth is, sex works differently in a long-term relationship. Opportunistic sex or sex in a novel relationship is driven by adrenaline and testosterone (in both genders) and is highly dopaminergic thus addictive, while sex with a long-term partner is driven by oxytocin and vasopressin which promotes pair bonding. Usually when people hit that point where the honeymoon period wears off, they freak out and think they need to sPiCe things up. It's akin to adrenaline junky behavior. But sex can also just be a pleasurable, loving activity you do with someone you trust because it feels good, and with time you get better and better at it. So there are two different schools of thought on this. If you like the former type of sex, the eroticism, spontaneity and excitement, then the book Mating in Captivity is a good resource. For the latter, practices such as tantra can enhance your experience and pair-bonding, but you might have to shift your expectations and mindset a little bit. Moderntantra.blogspot writes about this. The book "Come Together" is another resource, although I find the author a bit cringe and patronizing at times (same woman who wrote Come As You Are). I prefer a bit of both in my relationship, but I think it can be helpful to understand the neurochemistry behind it.

As for your relationship it does seem a little ritualistic although I wanna stress that's there's not necessarily anything wrong with that. I think being overly concerned with hygiene can compromise spontaneity, if that is what you're missing.

Damn I'm >>464558 and nobody has advice kek. I can't be the only one on here who gets super depressed and cries after sex, no matter if I've had a good time, right? I wonder if I didn't write the term "postcoital dysphoria" would it have been better? That's the actual medical term I googled but it's basically just getting very depressed and crying after sex. I think it's the comedown of hormones and overthinking that I'm not good enough is what causes it. Even though my fiancé of 10 years (we are both each other's first and only sex partners) does genuinely love my body I can not help but compare myself to porn stars for some reason. I'm nearly 30 but for almost 2 decades I watched a lot of porn, literally not even to get off but to compare myself to the women because preteen me convinced myself that is the ideal version of what men want. I haven't watched porn in a long time because of how much it was affecting myself esteem (just reiterating I didn't watch it for pleasure but to compare my own body to) but I can't get rid of those feelings of not being good enough. I remember as a preteen begging my parents to buy my a boobjob. Now nearly 2 decades later I still feel that way. My fiancé doesn't even like boobjobs and told me they are disgusting, yet that doesn't change the fact I feel like they are better. I just feel like I'm too mentally broken to have sex, I don't know.

>>471947
Spontaneousness definitely helps combat that boring formulaic feeling, it makes it feel much more exciting imo. Is it possible for you both to shower earlier in the day? Because showering right before it can make it feel too planned out and can ruin the mood sometimes. Also even just switching up the places you have sex, if that's possible, helps a lot. Like for example if you always have sex in the bedroom, maybe switch it up to the living room or in the kitchen or wherever. Different positions can help too, doesn't need to be anything too crazy obviously but even just doing it standing up when you normally are laying down on furniture can spice it up.

>>472429
Go to saunas/gym/spa/public pools and watch how all of these totally normal, out of shape, flabby tits and fat gut women and men still have fun and have parters who they have sex with.

>>472440
Nta but maybe they don't have sex, you can't know that just by looking at people.

Anon post disappeared for me, but I wanted to answer and I'm leaving this places.. she said she enjoys oral sex and making slurping noises while doing it.
Why do you like doing an act that is humiliating to perform (the movements you have to make with your hand and mouth, leaking spit, making embarrassing faces, your face looks like you're in distress, you have to be in a submissive position physically, you have to pretend to not have teeth, your jaw hurts, neck also can hurt, you have to hunch..), only pleasures the man and gives him the pleasure you will never experience, it's a literal job, you have to deal with semen, you have to enjoy extreme submission to do this, the dick is on average 14cm and thick, so it doesn't fit into a human mouth which makes it a violent act (also because dick is penetrative and your mouth gets penetrated with it by you)? I can't comprehend why would a woman wanna do it unless she's okay with bdsm, man doesn't surrender to you.. you surrender to his pleasure you can't even get reciprocated, dick penetrates… It doesn't surrender… You even make penetrative movements into your mouth with it.. the man just lays down there getting serviced. I don't understand, it's just so unequal and unfair it makes me feel bad about being a woman. And the dentists can tell if someone sucked dick recently, cause it causes bruises.
I guess our biology doesn't allow us to have any other position in human intimacy but so cucked..I'm out. I don't enjoy submission. It's hard to not have internalized misogyny(blackpill outside of containment)

>>472389
>>472429
Oh, thanks for replying. I guess spontaneity is something I feel is def mising.

>>472476
Your biology does not entirely define how you can enjoy being intimate with someone

>>464547
this has absolutely zero to do with him being a meat eater vs you a vegan.
its more like his DNA does not fucking compute with yours.
any other reasoning is cope because it gives way to letting the defective moid "make a change" through eating salads; when he's really scarffing down steaks and jack in the box Dave Meal Deals behind your back while you are snoozing soundly and hopefully about your comfy futures together.
Why even take the risk?

>>471700
why not flip the expectation on them? to eat you out first! what is the problem with that? if they refuse just leave them in the dust.

>>471759
the vagina envelops you are wrong. beat moids into submission and you will be free

>>472523
>>472527
Don't take the bait

>>464558
>>472429
Does this also happen after you masturbate and come from that? Or only if you're with your fiancé?
I'm not with anyone but I sometimes cry after masturbation/orgasming if I think about someone I had feelings for kek. I don't feel sad, though, just become really moved or overcome with emotion.
Can you distinguish what the order of events is? First the negative thoughts about your body, then tears? Or do you start crying first bc of the hormones and then the self-hating monologue starts?
What happens after you've had sex, do you cuddle, is your fiancé being sweet and loving? I wonder if he could try to get you distracted from these thoughts.
I'm really sorry nona that you feel so badly about yourself and that porn did such damage to your self esteem. I know it doesn't help that a random stranger says this but you are perfect just as you are and I'm 1000% sure your fiancé adores you and feels super lucky to see and touch your body.