/ot/ - Absolutely Retarded Shitposting Thread #23

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Absolutely Retarded Shitposting Thread #23 Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 03:27:47 PM No. 1779837

Anything goes here.

No theme, no venting, no discussion about anything, you come here to be an absolute retard and shitpost. Post whatever you want. Bark if you want to. However, global rules still apply, don't infight, don't post nsfw shit, don't be racist, etc

>How is this thread different from the dumbass shit thread?
The dumbass thread is for coherent dumbass thoughts, while this one is for yelling, shitting, and pissing into the void

Previous thread >>>/ot/1616622

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 03:31:36 PM No. 1779840

I love my lolcow homies

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:06:02 PM No. 1779953

I miss when you cared

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:08:12 PM No. 1779955

Sun kissed skin so hot we’ll melt your popsicle

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:18:27 PM No. 1779971

File: 1700500706908.jpeg (527.42 KB, 2229x1267, C8380D2F-139A-428D-B196-74C4B0…)

>>1779893
Pinguiino posting

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:19:37 PM No. 1779973

The Zaza got me speaking Esperanto

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:47:15 PM No. 1780035

File: 1700502435063.jpg (102.14 KB, 735x726, d8d41e1fdee37f61162874241a2ff2…)

Op pic has more mundane energy and not retard energy, ptu ptu

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:48:41 PM No. 1780039

File: 1700502521125.jpeg (131.1 KB, 750x907, F3C0966F-85EF-4F83-B138-FF419B…)

Should I make an Absolutely intelligent shitposting thread

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:48:58 PM No. 1780040

>>1780035
I need to be retarded to have a good day

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:49:41 PM No. 1780043

>>1780039
thats just the dumbass posting thread

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:50:16 PM No. 1780044

>>1780039
Sure go ahead

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 05:54:56 PM No. 1780051

>>1780040
What a beautiful answer.

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 07:30:04 PM No. 1780220

Am i going insane or did celebricows go from 500 posts to 400 posts

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 07:31:52 PM No. 1780223

>>1780043
Link one intelligent post from there

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 07:33:16 PM No. 1780225

File: 1700508796020.jpg (87.55 KB, 736x763, cec9777d4757a44c29e576fce7a006…)

>>1779971
It's disgusting that we eat penguins in this day and age

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 07:34:30 PM No. 1780227

>>1780225
say sike

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 08:17:46 PM No. 1780281

>>1780039
LOL i remember a bunch of guys in my highschool were obsessed with J cole. but no one gives a shit about him now ..

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 09:04:04 PM No. 1780353

File: 1700514243189.gif (1.25 MB, 498x205, happy-feet-dancing.gif)

Welcome back, Retarded Shitposting!!!

Anonymous 11/20/23 (Mon) 10:01:16 PM No. 1780451

File: 1700517674660.gif (3.55 MB, 328x498, IMG_9734.gif)

WAKE UP NONNY, IT'S TIME TO DO SOME ABSOLUTELY RETARDED SHITPOSTING!

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 12:09:57 AM No. 1780628

File: 1700525396863.png (946.68 KB, 1080x1920, QEPCgLP.png)

>>1780451
Sorry nonny I was at the store getting tampons!!! Time for retarded shitposting is NOW

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 05:17:50 AM No. 1780945

File: 1700543870074.jpeg (115.46 KB, 1024x1024, OIG.Kb87g87.jpeg)

oh dear

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 05:18:36 AM No. 1780948

>>1780945
Wow so many babies you have there

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 05:19:50 AM No. 1780949

>>1780948
I want you to be the godmother

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 05:22:53 AM No. 1780954

File: 1700544172170.png (160.55 KB, 356x356, IMG_7874.png)

>>1780949
That’s a huge honor I feel so blessed thank you Sylvanian mothercat

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 07:28:01 AM No. 1781037

File: 1700551681262.jpg (159.65 KB, 1024x1024, OIG (12).jpg)

this nona got a smokable beverage?! what she dronking though

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 07:28:39 AM No. 1781038

>>1781037
Looks like a giant sperm cup or something

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 08:47:36 AM No. 1781098

File: 1700556454192.gif (4.26 MB, 599x554, tumblr_bbd9e8deadd14ceb83313e8…)

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 08:49:18 AM No. 1781099

File: 1700556558694.jpg (136.14 KB, 1024x1024, tinfoil8.jpg)

>>1781098
this you?

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 08:51:52 AM No. 1781101

File: 1700556712192.mp4 (5.78 MB, 1280x720, tumblr_rhvievKY7v1sjcnrz.mp4)

>>1781099
i wishe i had a tinfoil witch hat and little tinfoils around my computer but reality is boring and its someone else's out of context gif and not the work of a grand schizo

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 08:55:24 AM No. 1781103

>>1781101
that's what a true schizo stacy would say, props

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 04:47:04 PM No. 1781569

>>1781101
you can make one nonna, and then you can be a popular tinfoil youtuber with this epic hat

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 05:02:12 PM No. 1781604

who wants to dance

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 06:54:38 PM No. 1781764

File: 1700592876134.gif (2.76 MB, 285x281, index.gif)

>>1781604
me

Anonymous 11/21/23 (Tue) 07:27:17 PM No. 1781847

File: 1700594836443.gif (965.09 KB, 320x204, xHNb08.gif)

>>1781764

Anonymous 11/22/23 (Wed) 06:39:40 AM No. 1782690

File: 1700635179305.png (1.08 MB, 1243x1190, IMG_9698.png)

Fite me nonny

Anonymous 11/22/23 (Wed) 06:46:32 AM No. 1782691

File: 1700635592187.gif (1.39 MB, 201x275, 1676853564123.gif)

>>1782690

Anonymous 11/22/23 (Wed) 06:59:51 AM No. 1782695

>>1782691
this gif cracks me up every time kekkkkk he's so violent

Anonymous 11/22/23 (Wed) 07:47:33 PM No. 1783321

File: 1700682453071.png (473.1 KB, 1170x733, image.png)

Literally me

Anonymous 11/22/23 (Wed) 07:55:26 PM No. 1783330

>>1783321
Classy.

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:03:10 AM No. 1783877

File: 1700704990230.jpg (99.3 KB, 700x500, woe is me psychedelic.jpg)

>>1782690
Sorry nonny, I can't hear you, I'm too busy tripping on shrooms

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:14:27 AM No. 1783889

File: 1700705667066.jpg (153.81 KB, 1024x1024, 1700691469679.jpg)

siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiip
love ice coffee

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:18:33 AM No. 1783892

File: 1700705913169.jpg (5.35 MB, 4032x3024, 20231123_131747.jpg)

Do you nonnas like my stick

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:21:20 AM No. 1783895

>>1783892
Yes, it's a nice stick!

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:26:46 AM No. 1783902

File: 1700706405894.jpg (5.74 MB, 4032x3024, 20231123_132335.jpg)

>>1783895
What about this stick?

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:29:28 AM No. 1783905

>>1783902
this might be controversial but i actually like this stick more than the first stick, i just think it has more personality

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:30:44 AM No. 1783906

File: 1700706644660.jpg (4.54 MB, 4032x3024, 20231123_133120.jpg)

>>1783905
What about this one?

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:31:14 AM No. 1783908

>>1783902
I like this stick better but good sticks, 10/10 nonnie great finds

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:32:59 AM No. 1783910

>>1783908
ITS THE SAME STICK BUT FLIPPED HOW DARE YOU BULLSHIT ME ON MY STICKS

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:35:39 AM No. 1783914

File: 1700706939322.jpg (3.16 MB, 2713x3805, 20231123_133546.jpg)

I like this one because it's little and cute. Good colour. Good branching off. I bet it had nice leaves

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:36:36 AM No. 1783916

>>1783902
That's an even cooler stick!

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:37:55 AM No. 1783918

>>1783914
It's like a fork in the road

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:38:41 AM No. 1783919

File: 1700707121165.jpg (53.23 KB, 640x480, CiGcV1gUUAUq6hW.jpg)

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:40:41 AM No. 1783922

>>1783919
Aaaaaaaaaaaah where's the eyes!

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 02:47:11 AM No. 1783930

>>1783919
Someone should photoshop eyes in

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 03:04:33 AM No. 1783977

File: 1700708673034.jpeg (166.04 KB, 1242x931, B8347075-0F79-42C9-829B-02FBA0…)

>>1783930

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 03:10:00 AM No. 1783999

>>1783977
muy aesthetic!1!

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 03:17:56 AM No. 1784027

>>1782691
Oh my god only one of these is a real cat

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 03:30:15 AM No. 1784053

>>1783977
Whose freaking eyes are those

Anonymous 11/23/23 (Thu) 06:29:25 PM No. 1785446

пуки-пуки

Anonymous 11/24/23 (Fri) 09:45:14 PM No. 1787038

File: 1700862314892.jpg (39.36 KB, 608x463, Baby-Insanity-Wolf.jpg)

ALL MY ENEMIES WILL BOW BEFORE ME

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 04:06:21 AM No. 1787547

>>1787038
take your medication and shut off the computer for a week please

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 04:08:52 AM No. 1787549

>>1787038
AWOOOOOOOooo

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 03:37:44 PM No. 1788080

File: 1700926663749.png (185.38 KB, 644x173, 9foRzcFy0_Ja8u3pGEYO.png)

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 03:44:58 PM No. 1788089

File: 1700927098195.gif (680.36 KB, 220x209, danse-garfield.gif)

only with mens incineration
will we find true liberation
crush all nuts mass castration
every male in every nation
reform gaia in womens creation
prosperity peace and elation

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 03:57:35 PM No. 1788102

>>1788089
Where is this from, it slaps

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 04:00:04 PM No. 1788106

>>1788102
my brain

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 06:33:41 PM No. 1788320

>>1788106
probably the best thing i've read all year, thank you for sharing and i'd love to read more

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 06:36:48 PM No. 1788324

>>1788089
did you write this to a song, I swear I read this to a tune but I can't pinpoint where it's from

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 06:44:33 PM No. 1788326

>>1788089
Beautiful

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 06:54:04 PM No. 1788329

>>1788089
Read it to the tune of the beginning of this song

Anonymous 11/25/23 (Sat) 07:05:18 PM No. 1788336

where nuthin ever grows
no rain nor rivers flow
do they know it's christmas time at all ??

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 04:59:55 AM No. 1788979

File: 1700974794654.png (1.34 MB, 1366x768, p.png)

Me on my period

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 05:08:11 AM No. 1788984

File: 1700975291164.png (1.45 MB, 2138x1198, DEARSTUFFEDSHIRTS.png)

DEAR STUFFED SHIRTS AT RITZ CRACKERS, A chain is only as strong as its weakest link. Just as a box of crackers is only as appealing as its least intact sleeve. I am paying for fully formed crackers, not butter crumbles! I don't buy your product with broken quarters; don't stick me with broken pieces of cracker, you miserable DICKS!

Regards,
Mort Goldman again.

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 05:09:11 AM No. 1788985

File: 1700975351601.jpg (74.59 KB, 545x700, 4549bcc219b384ffb1bffe55633b22…)

>>1788979
Got you covered

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 10:39:51 AM No. 1789183

File: 1700995189982.png (3.77 MB, 1500x1886, shoiseiz.png)

i want to be 12 again, drawing in ms paint, posting on deviantart, playing maplestory and not giving a fuck abou responsibilities because school was easy

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 10:52:43 AM No. 1789188

>>1789183
samfag but i am going to download maplestory!!!!

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 11:03:14 AM No. 1789191

>>1789183
99% chance the person who drew this is a TIF now.

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 11:08:40 AM No. 1789196

File: 1700996917185.gif (6.88 MB, 548x640, Let's dance.gif)

>>1788089
>>1788329
This is pure perfection. I'm vibing right now.

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 11:17:20 AM No. 1789201

>>1788089
It goes ok with gypsy bard melody

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 11:22:07 AM No. 1789204

>>1789201
"only with mens incineration
will we find true liberation
crush all nuts mass castration
every male you ever see"

The rest would need more change to fit the melody.

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 11:34:09 AM No. 1789213

why do i need to get up and face the day when i can simply snooze

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 12:28:52 PM No. 1789243

Mcdonalds Mcdonalds Mcdonalds!!!

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 02:56:19 PM No. 1789326

File: 1701010578645.png (3.03 MB, 1919x2155, 1681464405426603.png)

>>1789243

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 03:11:57 PM No. 1789336

>>1789243

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 03:45:09 PM No. 1789360

File: 1701013509701.webm (911.78 KB, 640x640, 1643014256201.webm)

I love this fish so much she's so full of love and not being able to kiss her back kills me

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 07:03:11 PM No. 1789559

>>1789336
I saw this for the first time when I was stoned off my ass and I lost my mind laughing

Anonymous 11/26/23 (Sun) 07:08:13 PM No. 1789562

>>1789336
DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DANDANDANDAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN DAN HOOOO

Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 04:47:29 PM No. 1791087

The carcass of god sometimes involuntarily spasms an act of good onto our world.

Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 04:55:39 PM No. 1791097

>>1791087
you've broken my brai
n

Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 05:12:50 PM No. 1791114

>>1791087
Real shit.

Anonymous 11/27/23 (Mon) 07:24:47 PM No. 1791252

I usually hate the shitles but this song is so cute

Anonymous 11/28/23 (Tue) 10:01:52 AM No. 1791913

File: 1701165712090.jpeg (33.44 KB, 275x275, IMG_7492.jpeg)

My momma used to say that if you tell a man to kill himself, he will only kill one man but if you teach a man to kill other men, many men will die.

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 05:55:00 AM No. 1793108

File: 1701237300491.jpeg (35.85 KB, 626x626, IMG_1469.jpeg)

In the vast and intricate tapestry of culinary preferences that grace the palates of humankind, one might find themselves perplexed by a peculiar phenomenon: the seemingly unanimous aversion to the humble dried grape, known colloquially as a raisin. The enigma surrounding the widespread perception of raisins as, dare I say it, somewhat distasteful, prompts a contemplative exploration into the labyrinthine corridors of gastronomic subjectivity.

As we delve into the convoluted labyrinth of gustatory discernment, one could postulate that the crinkled exterior and altered texture of raisins, a result of their dehydration process, elicits a cognitive dissonance within the gustatory senses. Could it be that the transformation from plump grape to desiccated morsel triggers an unexpected cognitive disjuncture, leaving the consumer yearning for the succulence of its former, juicier self?

Moreover, one might ponder the juxtaposition of raisins in various culinary contexts, from salads to baked goods, where their presence is often met with skepticism. Could it be that the integration of these diminutive dried fruits into dishes disrupts the expected flavor profile, introducing a discordant note that, for some, proves less harmonious than the symphony of other ingredients?

The raisin's paradoxical status as a contentious culinary component invites contemplation on the subjective nature of taste, a kaleidoscopic interplay of cultural influences, personal experiences, and, quite possibly, a deeply ingrained collective memory of that one ill-fated encounter with a shriveled grape during childhood.

So, in the intricate mosaic of culinary appreciation, one is left to ponder: Is the aversion to raisins an amalgamation of sensory dissonance, contextual incongruity, or a whimsical dance of individual taste buds? The answer, it seems, remains an elusive enigma, tucked away in the annals of gastronomic idiosyncrasy.

TL;DR RAISINS R GROSS. GRAPES SUPERIOR

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 06:14:43 AM No. 1793117

File: 1701238483065.jpeg (11.05 KB, 241x119, IMG_1840.jpeg)

>>1793108
raisins gud

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 06:17:14 AM No. 1793118

File: 1701238634867.jpeg (51.28 KB, 571x747, IMG_8522.jpeg)

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 06:31:12 AM No. 1793126

>>1791252
Their cutest song is the love song Paul wrote about his dog

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 06:39:36 AM No. 1793131

File: 1701239976443.jpg (3.16 MB, 3216x2136, Taste of Amish.jpg)

>>1793108
Raisins in chocolate and baking goods are great. They're superiour to dull and sour underdone grapes.
>>1793117
Raisin GUD!11

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 06:45:55 AM No. 1793132

>>1793131
chocolate covered raisins are god tier

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 06:48:02 AM No. 1793134

>>1793118
please is this real kek I almost choked on my water

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 06:52:38 AM No. 1793135

>>1793131
I will never truly understand why it was such a meme to hate raisin oat cookies, they are an elite status cookie

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 06:58:16 AM No. 1793136

>>1793135
It's because they fool you into thinking they're choc chips, it's the disappointment that makes people hate them rather than them being that bad

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 07:00:58 AM No. 1793138

>>1793132
ngl i would eat chocolate covered grapes kek

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 07:11:01 AM No. 1793142

No I DON’T ever get the flu shot because VACCINES cause AUTISM and yes I do get hit with the flu every single year but it’s because GOD gives his strongest warriors the fattest asses!!!!!

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 02:48:52 PM No. 1793347

File: 1701269332588.jpg (30.33 KB, 266x500, b11fe39f08063c9b8475794fe5353a…)

And dodging bullets on my bike
I'm going over to my dealer's to get my dope
He's got that good shit
Whenever I smoke it I end up Chinese

And when I go out I'm on alert
Because all those fat faggots are always hiding
The pigs follow me because I smoke weed
And I tell them, ah

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 09:09:14 PM No. 1793771

File: 1701292154356.gif (101.63 KB, 450x400, IMG_1616.gif)

Happy birthday to me and to everyone else who had the audacity to be born on my birthday.

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 09:20:51 PM No. 1793779

>>1793771
Happy birthday Anon! I hope you have a great day and have fun on it.

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 09:22:21 PM No. 1793780

File: 1701292941234.png (56.99 KB, 480x412, image_2023-11-29_222301333.png)

>>1793771
Found this gif for you, happy birthday anon.

Anonymous 11/29/23 (Wed) 09:23:47 PM No. 1793783

>>1779840
We love you too

Anonymous 11/30/23 (Thu) 09:22:02 PM No. 1795497

And now,

poetry

Anonymous 12/03/23 (Sun) 12:53:07 AM No. 1797624

File: 1701564787441.jpeg (1.32 MB, 1424x1068, IMG_2211.jpeg)

>there is snow on lolcow
>snowcow.farm

Anonymous 12/03/23 (Sun) 02:39:11 AM No. 1797735

>>1795497
Knew what this was before I hit play kek

Anonymous 12/03/23 (Sun) 09:12:09 PM No. 1798382

File: 1701637929276.jpg (773.26 KB, 2085x3127, d04rjw3m42tb1.jpg)

I'm not afraid to be different.

Anonymous 12/03/23 (Sun) 09:13:02 PM No. 1798386

>>1798382
You look like you got a bottle of whiteout dumped on your head, idiot.

Anonymous 12/03/23 (Sun) 09:19:46 PM No. 1798391

File: 1701638386295.jpg (31.57 KB, 660x434, q30anc42yr661.jpg)

Me when I smell Mac and cheese

Anonymous 12/03/23 (Sun) 09:59:18 PM No. 1798431

File: 1701640757637.gif (1.02 MB, 498x280, DEATH.gif)

>>1798382
KILL THE GHOST DUCK!

Anonymous 12/04/23 (Mon) 12:27:57 AM No. 1798553

I'm sorry, it was me. I farted.

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 11:57:59 AM No. 1801144

File: 1701863879450.png (896.79 KB, 1260x840, IMG_4811.png)

awant-guard awocado

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 12:17:57 PM No. 1801153

File: 1701865077800.jpg (14.82 KB, 525x446, FcegvvAaQAAjWWM.jpg)

I keep on coughing I'm dying lol lmao ah kill me already.

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 12:24:35 PM No. 1801157

Unfunny

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 12:37:52 PM No. 1801166

File: 1701866272841.jpg (60.72 KB, 590x350, santa-claus1-888736.jpg)

Happy Santa Claus day!!!

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 04:10:21 PM No. 1801319

File: 1701879021854.jpg (31.4 KB, 724x708, df70cbedabaa475d3c5ab2e572329a…)

Nooooo!! I need to poop soon but I have to go to class! I'll be late!! And I don't wanna poop at school! Bowels, why do you do thiiiiiiiiissss

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:32:31 PM No. 1801392

>>1801319
did you get to class okay?

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:35:55 PM No. 1801396

>>1801319
poop at home and be late. it's always worth it

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:38:37 PM No. 1801401

File: 1701884317768.jpg (3.76 KB, 302x167, download.jpg)

>>1801157
Witch skull post

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:40:14 PM No. 1801403

>>1801401
I'm going to fuck your father and him a daughter he actually loves

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:45:03 PM No. 1801407

File: 1701884702769.png (39.39 KB, 415x434, 1603411478427.png)

>>1801403

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:49:04 PM No. 1801411

Dear God do I have to pee, but I'm on my lunch break and it will take ten minutes each way just to walk to the bathroom.

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:50:23 PM No. 1801413

File: 1701885023248.jpg (237.5 KB, 1080x629, IMG_20231206_205118.jpg)

>>1801407

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:51:15 PM No. 1801415

>>1801403
there's a word missing from this sentence that makes this sound very unfortunate

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:52:59 PM No. 1801419

>>1801415
Im going to fuck his daughter too.

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 05:55:35 PM No. 1801422

>>1801411
Do after while clocked in. There aint no way I am using the bathroom on my unpaid break.

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 06:16:02 PM No. 1801454

File: 1701886561907.jpeg (144.72 KB, 1242x1083, IMG_1897.jpeg)

>>1801422

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 06:17:26 PM No. 1801457

>>1781099
i love the idea of this young shizo level conspiracy theorist who gives herself an absolutely salon perfect gorgeous blowout every single morning before plopping a tin foil hat on it and then tapping away on lolcow all day

Anonymous 12/06/23 (Wed) 06:22:29 PM No. 1801464

NONA AND I VIBING TO THIS RN AYYYYY

Anonymous 12/09/23 (Sat) 07:42:07 AM No. 1804811

File: 1702107727648.jpg (71.52 KB, 1080x608, tumblr_0b5b5a531c42b59d8133c4a…)

would you ally with him? serious answers only

Anonymous 12/10/23 (Sun) 11:10:09 PM No. 1806912

File: 1702249809540.jpg (107.93 KB, 750x1001, 535a0bedae9fb157d7b25c0f495883…)

>>1804811
Yes

Anonymous 12/12/23 (Tue) 01:19:57 AM No. 1808159

File: 1702343997817.jpeg (376.74 KB, 750x959, IMG_8868.jpeg)

!!!! TAYLOR MILKED ME !!!! Taylor MILKED ME

Anonymous 12/12/23 (Tue) 01:47:12 AM No. 1808187

>>1808159
That does sound like something she would do…. if we apply the principle of occam's razor then the only remaining conclusion is this is true. Psychics of lolcor please chime in

Anonymous 12/12/23 (Tue) 02:50:29 AM No. 1808241

>>1804811
he acts like an agp tbh

Anonymous 12/12/23 (Tue) 06:51:56 AM No. 1808502

File: 1702363915440.mp4 (3.97 MB, 576x1024, tumblr_s3al5zwnvy1z7ukda.mp4)

cool

Anonymous 12/12/23 (Tue) 07:44:32 AM No. 1808544

File: 1702367072755.jpg (101.46 KB, 736x1051, 1000012565.jpg)

Anonymous 12/12/23 (Tue) 06:17:36 PM No. 1809143

File: 1702405056455.jpg (137.44 KB, 1080x859, Tumblr_l_48711219043312.jpg)

Anonymous 12/13/23 (Wed) 12:55:19 AM No. 1809928

File: 1702428919270.gif (76.96 KB, 445x498, IMG_4025.gif)

this nigga be jerkin an air dick

Anonymous 12/13/23 (Wed) 12:59:41 AM No. 1809935

File: 1702429179482.gif (190.21 KB, 300x167, 1000012598.gif)

>>1809928

Anonymous 12/13/23 (Wed) 01:19:39 AM No. 1809962

>>1809928
He's going with it for half an hour by now, what the hell

Anonymous 12/13/23 (Wed) 01:24:04 AM No. 1809965

>>1809928
lmao nonnie, you're the best

Anonymous 12/13/23 (Wed) 11:19:33 AM No. 1810350

>>1809928
PT's hero

Anonymous 12/13/23 (Wed) 01:33:51 PM No. 1810430

File: 1702474431858.jpeg (31.22 KB, 480x360, IMG_7738.jpeg)

HEE HOOOOOOOOOOO

Anonymous 12/13/23 (Wed) 10:03:04 PM No. 1811246

File: 1702504983945.jpg (288.92 KB, 1080x630, Screenshot_20231212_155705_Ins…)

literally me

Anonymous 12/14/23 (Thu) 02:54:16 AM No. 1811492

File: 1702522455866.webm (503.57 KB, 640x360, 1695992848207.webm)

i love this and the anon who shared it

Anonymous 12/14/23 (Thu) 06:14:07 AM No. 1811605

>>1809143
fucking lmao

Anonymous 12/14/23 (Thu) 10:11:48 PM No. 1812432

File: 1702591907656.jpg (509.13 KB, 1242x942, Tumblr_l_18501644803058.jpg)

Helloo

Anonymous 12/14/23 (Thu) 10:15:45 PM No. 1812437

File: 1702592145904.jpg (157.7 KB, 807x603, 1000012637.jpg)

>>1810430

Anonymous 12/14/23 (Thu) 10:16:21 PM No. 1812438

File: 1702592181468.jpg (348.99 KB, 1080x921, Tumblr_l_18432380286358.jpg)

Anonymous 12/14/23 (Thu) 11:46:02 PM No. 1812583

File: 1702597562900.jpg (24.46 KB, 1150x315, 4cc.jpg)

>>1811492
omg this is amazing

Anonymous 12/15/23 (Fri) 12:26:47 AM No. 1812635

File: 1702600007078.png (41.84 KB, 898x198, 屏幕截图 2023-12-14 192748.png)

>>1783321

Anonymous 12/15/23 (Fri) 10:08:17 AM No. 1813141

Amen

Anonymous 12/15/23 (Fri) 08:45:38 PM No. 1813903

File: 1702673138838.jpg (37.55 KB, 517x640, Tumblr_l_29062747316806.jpg)

Go piss girl

Anonymous 12/15/23 (Fri) 09:58:02 PM No. 1814003

>>1813903
saw this post while holding in my pee because im too lazy to get out of bed. this must be a sign

Anonymous 12/15/23 (Fri) 11:53:18 PM No. 1814124

weezer pussy

Anonymous 12/17/23 (Sun) 12:24:11 AM No. 1815682

File: 1702772651321.jpg (1.03 MB, 1536x2048, Tumblr_l_127463919194278.jpg)

Serving cunt today

Anonymous 12/17/23 (Sun) 08:09:26 PM No. 1816967

nona nona nona nona
nona nona nona nona
nona nona nona nona
JANNY JANNY

nona nona nona nona
nona nona nona nona
nona nona nona nona
JANNY JANNY

Bait! Bait!
Baaaiiit! It's bait!
Oooh! It's bait!

nona nona nona nona

Anonymous 12/17/23 (Sun) 08:16:04 PM No. 1816983

File: 1702844163562.gif (164.5 KB, 400x400, wfw.gif)

>>1816967
Kek

Anonymous 12/17/23 (Sun) 08:16:19 PM No. 1816984

they better STOP fighting about men getting raped in the unpopular opinion thread. its making me too horny

Anonymous 12/17/23 (Sun) 08:19:00 PM No. 1816989

>>1816984
thanks for saying it out loud cos same

Anonymous 12/18/23 (Mon) 07:40:21 PM No. 1818385

illegal emojiposting😀👮‍♀️🚓

Anonymous 12/18/23 (Mon) 07:42:07 PM No. 1818387

File: 1702928527328.jpeg (183.07 KB, 734x386, IMG_0008.jpeg)

>>1818385
HRRRAAAAAAAAGHHH

Anonymous 12/18/23 (Mon) 07:50:48 PM No. 1818398

>>1818385
new naah nee nah anon you are under arrest 🚓🚨👮👮🏻👮🏼👮🏽👮🏾👮🏿💂‍♀️

Anonymous 12/19/23 (Tue) 08:41:24 PM No. 1819812

>>1818385
⛓️👩⛓️
JAIL! JAIL FOR NONNY FOR ONE THOUSAND YEARS!

Anonymous 12/19/23 (Tue) 09:02:44 PM No. 1819855

File: 1703019764411.png (14.8 KB, 1322x419, Lucy.png)

>LUCY WE JUST TOOK THIS WAY TOO FAST
>YOU KNOW THAT SOME GOOD THINGS LIFE JUST AREN'T MEANT TO LAST
>WE'LL GO OUR SEPARATE WAYS, IT MAY HURT IN TIME
I THINK WE'LL BE JUST FINE
>OHHHHHHH LUCY LUCY LUCYYYY

Anonymous 12/19/23 (Tue) 09:14:20 PM No. 1819873

>>1819855
damn, did anyone download it

Anonymous 12/20/23 (Wed) 12:00:49 AM No. 1820132

>>1819855
NONNIE WHAIT YOU DROPPED THIS
>

Anonymous 12/20/23 (Wed) 01:16:39 AM No. 1820253

>>1801457
Yeah that's me
Sorry negropost("negropost")

Anonymous 12/20/23 (Wed) 02:43:48 PM No. 1820710

Where the fuck is my lesbian Modern Talking???

Anonymous 12/20/23 (Wed) 02:46:36 PM No. 1820713

>>1820253
nice typo

Anonymous 12/20/23 (Wed) 03:24:43 PM No. 1820739

>>1820710
wAIT… you're onto something here

Anonymous 12/20/23 (Wed) 04:52:22 PM No. 1820823

>>1820739
Right? Right??

Anonymous 12/22/23 (Fri) 02:29:24 AM No. 1823675

File: 1703212163938.png (234.15 KB, 998x1313, death note.png)

Anonymous 12/22/23 (Fri) 02:45:30 AM No. 1823683

File: 1703213130271.png (61.13 KB, 376x664, IMG_2858.png)

>>1823675

Anonymous 12/22/23 (Fri) 02:52:56 AM No. 1823689

>>1823683
Saw that in the front page and thought my screen was dirty

Anonymous 12/22/23 (Fri) 02:53:06 AM No. 1823690

File: 1703213583330.gif (3.68 MB, 380x286, GIF.gif)

BLING BLONG BLING BLONG

Anonymous 12/22/23 (Fri) 03:14:01 AM No. 1823723

File: 1703214837050.gif (633.03 KB, 320x240, aham-cass.gif)

>>1823690
Googer gieger?

Anonymous 12/22/23 (Fri) 03:49:41 AM No. 1823757

File: 1703216980265.gif (938.36 KB, 300x300, H30lsc8.gif)

>>1823723

Anonymous 12/22/23 (Fri) 05:31:52 AM No. 1823838

>>1823690
>>1823723
>>1823757
Holycrap. I gotta rewatch Mission Hill.

Anonymous 12/24/23 (Sun) 02:54:52 PM No. 1827078

File: 1703429691730.png (629.84 KB, 854x655, IMG_5187.png)

Which one of you fuckass cunts has been posting skibidi toilet? On Christmas EVE of all days.

Anonymous 12/24/23 (Sun) 02:56:41 PM No. 1827080

Ummm, if that helps, does that make sense??? I'm a woman so I have to end everything with a question I'm so unsure of myself I have no confidence hehehe

Anonymous 12/24/23 (Sun) 03:41:04 PM No. 1827118

>>1827078
I'm asian, this day has no significance for me.

Anonymous 12/24/23 (Sun) 03:59:57 PM No. 1827139

File: 1703433597152.png (1.06 MB, 1107x784, 899.png)

>>1827118
plenty of asians celebrate christmas. which kind are you?

Anonymous 12/24/23 (Sun) 05:49:22 PM No. 1827253

>>1827139
East Asians do, doesn't happen in the rest of Asia.

Anonymous 12/24/23 (Sun) 05:55:04 PM No. 1827259

>>1827118
merry christmas

Anonymous 12/24/23 (Sun) 07:44:27 PM No. 1827375

Drank for the first time in a while (not very much) and my whole face is flushed. I swear this has never happened when I've drank before.

Anonymous 12/28/23 (Thu) 12:34:32 AM No. 1830948

File: 1703723671733.png (243.06 KB, 400x300, Mello.png)

Mello had the n word pass and he could have ended Death Note with it if they weren't so afraid to let him use it

Anonymous 12/28/23 (Thu) 12:46:22 AM No. 1830961

File: 1703724382651.jpg (224.23 KB, 1920x1080, aUhUI27.jpg)

>>1830948
You mean "N" as in the character, right?

Anonymous 12/28/23 (Thu) 12:48:28 AM No. 1830965

Someone I used to be friends with fucked her cousin and I've never told anyone. Kind of surreal looking back, I wonder if they ever acted normal around each other again.

Anonymous 12/28/23 (Thu) 01:02:24 AM No. 1830983

File: 1703725344099.png (161.48 KB, 500x500, 152828801660861269.png)

>>1830961
that too but also just have him casually say nigga and let him swear more, japanese socialization nerfed him

Anonymous 12/29/23 (Fri) 06:29:19 PM No. 1833248

>>1830965
On accident or? Give me the deets nona

Anonymous 12/30/23 (Sat) 06:41:13 PM No. 1834450

There was a farmer had a scrote
And Nigel was its name-o
N-I-G-E-L
N-I-G-E-L
N-I-G-E-L
And Nigel was its name-o

Anonymous 12/30/23 (Sat) 06:57:06 PM No. 1834461

File: 1703962626275.jpeg (589.07 KB, 1920x1080, FhdmccWWIAA-A2T.jpeg)

Hi. Um, I'm just wondering, have you got any kind of like sort of punky electronica kind of grime, kind of like new-wave-grime, but kind of maybe like more broken beats, like kind of dubby broken beats, but a little bit kind of soulful, but kind of drum-and-bassy, but kind of more broken drum-and-bass, like kind of broken beats, like break beat kind of broken drum-and-bass, kind of—Do you know what I mean? No?

Anonymous 12/30/23 (Sat) 10:08:40 PM No. 1834637

>>1834450
kek
e e
kek

Anonymous 12/31/23 (Sun) 09:01:55 PM No. 1835405

>>1833248
Latereply but she sent me a text about it, they were on a camping site with family and it just.. Happened. In a public bathroom stall. They were both like 15. I feel sorry for her but at the same time what the hell kek, she never mentioned it again after a year or so though so idk.

Anonymous 12/31/23 (Sun) 10:33:24 PM No. 1835505

File: 1704062003544.png (1.12 MB, 1080x1075, 1000012827.png)

Sean Paul

Anonymous 12/31/23 (Sun) 10:45:26 PM No. 1835525

File: 1704062726095.jpeg (57.66 KB, 306x564, article-1017558-0041BB35000002…)

my irl waifu

Anonymous 01/01/24 (Mon) 01:38:26 AM No. 1835690

File: 1704073106387.jpeg (227.37 KB, 1024x685, IMG_8286.jpeg)

Australia-Hungry, the country where Österreiches live

Anonymous 01/01/24 (Mon) 02:59:02 AM No. 1835763

>>1811492
I fucking hate these obnoxious videos, I had my volume turned up

Anonymous 01/01/24 (Mon) 05:57:41 AM No. 1835850

>>1835405
Jesus christ

Anonymous 01/01/24 (Mon) 09:28:13 AM No. 1835925

File: 1704101293457.png (865.47 KB, 1576x815, flowering financial.png)

i wanna maje the 212 plush

Anonymous 01/01/24 (Mon) 05:09:43 PM No. 1836091

>>1812432
I have this one and her name is Marshmallow

Anonymous 01/01/24 (Mon) 05:34:49 PM No. 1836114

>>1835405
damn make sure you never tell her any important secrets because if she can't keep that one she sure can't keep yours lmao

Anonymous 01/01/24 (Mon) 05:36:12 PM No. 1836117

>>1835925
I bought soap from that bitch she never sent it

Anonymous 01/01/24 (Mon) 09:12:47 PM No. 1836273

File: 1704143566172.png (540.74 KB, 667x515, wow.PNG)

love this guy

Anonymous 01/01/24 (Mon) 09:54:26 PM No. 1836321

File: 1704146066124.jpeg (41.04 KB, 304x330, IMG_9201.jpeg)

this guy looks like if a great white shark were human. no i will not elaborate

Anonymous 01/03/24 (Wed) 07:05:17 PM No. 1837895

File: 1704308717133.jpeg (94.09 KB, 800x450, IMG_4348.jpeg)

I really wish there was more merch and media of the twin comets. They're such wasted potential

Anonymous 01/03/24 (Wed) 07:16:11 PM No. 1837905

File: 1704309370978.png (230.03 KB, 640x360, IMG_4427.png)

>>1837895
I just want more goth characters Sanrio is that too much to ask

Anonymous 01/04/24 (Thu) 04:05:07 PM No. 1838882

File: 1704384306973.jpg (221.07 KB, 1200x1600, 5eced7718c5d81f0bfbbb337b1cfe8…)

free will is an illusion

Anonymous 01/04/24 (Thu) 08:13:05 PM No. 1839217

up and down the sidewalk……take a doo doo pie…………………….

Anonymous 01/05/24 (Fri) 07:04:32 AM No. 1839731

I love tweaking hobos, i love watching them do their dances, screaming at people, getting into fights, etc. But only irl and at a distance, such fascinating beings devoid of inhibitions, truly free.

Anonymous 01/05/24 (Fri) 08:15:42 AM No. 1839787

>>1839731
There used to be an old psychotic bag lady in my hometown who’d stand outside McDonald’s and scream abuse at anyone who walked by. I miss her, she was so funny.

Anonymous 01/05/24 (Fri) 08:44:04 AM No. 1839792

File: 1704444244342.jpeg (159.76 KB, 995x550, 2882857B-0ABD-47C2-B660-4E72CC…)

I wish we had the Internet the cyberpunk lovers thought we would have

Anonymous 01/05/24 (Fri) 12:44:51 PM No. 1839938

>>1839792
All the dystopian surveillance, none of the cool pew pew lasers or flying cars

Anonymous 01/05/24 (Fri) 01:29:14 PM No. 1839960

>>1839938
…or robo-husbandos, disappointing

Anonymous 01/05/24 (Fri) 02:05:08 PM No. 1839993

>>1839960
if I gaslight my robo husband and beat the crap out of him, is it domestic violence or is it like kicking your old radiator that isn’t working or banging your fist against the tv

Anonymous 01/06/24 (Sat) 03:54:13 AM No. 1840874

File: 1704513252930.jpeg (129.38 KB, 640x422, IMG_0193.jpeg)

Anonymous 01/06/24 (Sat) 07:51:20 PM No. 1841528

File: 1704570680426.jpeg (396.98 KB, 700x627, IMG_5215.jpeg)

The fact that Milky Way and the Galaxy Girls was thrown out and has never been picked back up is proof there is no god

What a waste of great concepts and design

Anonymous 01/06/24 (Sat) 07:56:26 PM No. 1841534

>>1840874
WE AT THE
HOTEL
MOTEL
HOLIDAY
INN

Anonymous 01/06/24 (Sat) 08:03:52 PM No. 1841544

>>1841528
damn theyre all so cute i need this..

Anonymous 01/06/24 (Sat) 10:50:49 PM No. 1841740

fourthable

Anonymous 01/06/24 (Sat) 11:11:45 PM No. 1841756

>>1841534
Who YA WITH?

Anonymous 01/07/24 (Sun) 05:16:28 AM No. 1842114

( ＾◡＾)っ✂╰⋃╯

Anonymous 01/07/24 (Sun) 05:34:03 AM No. 1842124

>>1841544
Someone created an amateur hour unofficial version of it on YouTube but it doesn't compare to the original preview

Anonymous 01/07/24 (Sun) 05:35:12 AM No. 1842125

>>1842124
Original preview

Anonymous 01/07/24 (Sun) 01:32:20 PM No. 1842380

>>1841756
Jenny!
Yamile!
Roslin!
Zulema!
Cristina!
Carolina!
Sofia!
Estefany!
Dale, dale, dale!

Anonymous 01/08/24 (Mon) 02:43:47 AM No. 1843296

>>1842114
based!

Anonymous 01/08/24 (Mon) 03:02:41 AM No. 1843311

File: 1704682961063.png (712.15 KB, 728x720, Mr.Nutz.GBC.png)

This is my husbando.

Anonymous 01/08/24 (Mon) 04:02:31 PM No. 1843986

im posting to you all from a kum & go on a road trip on edibles and that Blue Rhino IS grilling…

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 02:09:50 AM No. 1847444

File: 1704938988780.gif (2.11 MB, 500x500, 10395575_60323.gif)

I know it's too early to start celebrating, but I'm so excited for Mardi Gras this year!! We already bought a king cake. One year I hope to be invited to the mythical rich peoples' Mardi Gras Ball

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 02:58:07 AM No. 1847526

kill me i'm fucking constipated as hell

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 02:59:17 AM No. 1847528

>>1847526
Kill yourself.

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 03:00:57 AM No. 1847532

>>1847528
so aggressive

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 03:01:50 AM No. 1847535

>>1847532
You asked.

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 03:03:54 AM No. 1847541

>>1847535
She asked you to kill her nonna. Why would you betray her like this?

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 03:04:21 AM No. 1847543

>>1847541
She's asking for free labor. She should kill herself instead.

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 03:09:10 AM No. 1847555

>>1847543
She can't even shit, you could at least give her a hand

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 03:27:14 AM No. 1847592

>>1847535
that wasn’t me im just coming to nonnie’s defense

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 07:55:05 AM No. 1847833

File: 1704959705668.jpeg (67.86 KB, 680x680, FtDNuNUWcAUWDPo.jpeg)

Should i say the N word? I might just do it

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 03:46:47 PM No. 1848066

File: 1704988006123.png (520.1 KB, 534x533, S20567che24re01812ant39sh38ao8…)

this is the only shirt that matters

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 04:35:30 PM No. 1848093

File: 1704990930655.jpeg (24.18 KB, 409x419, 61b8a927edd63.jpeg)

>>1848066
this really says a lot about society

Good thing my Snapchat is coffee and rainy days because i am not like other girls (i am severely mentally ill)

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 07:12:35 PM No. 1848302

she inspires me(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 07:40:18 PM No. 1848345

>>1848093
kek I'm reminded of when I used to have a snapchat back in high school and I'd take photos of the books I bought. That was it.

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 07:45:30 PM No. 1848354

>>1848302
NONNY NONNY NONNY don't play this unless you want the N-word blasted at high volume from your speakers

Anonymous 01/11/24 (Thu) 09:09:31 PM No. 1848541

zoom zoom haha

Anonymous 01/12/24 (Fri) 12:57:29 AM No. 1848870

File: 1705021049602.jpeg (27.54 KB, 236x217, IMG_8376.jpeg)

Anonymous 01/12/24 (Fri) 01:27:39 AM No. 1848925

Anonymous 01/12/24 (Fri) 01:50:03 AM No. 1848940

born to shit forever

Anonymous 01/12/24 (Fri) 02:05:56 AM No. 1848949

Well retarded is definitely the key word here.

Anonymous 01/12/24 (Fri) 02:19:03 AM No. 1848957

>>1848940
born 2 shit, forced 2 wipe :((emoji)

Anonymous 01/12/24 (Fri) 01:43:59 PM No. 1849473

File: 1705067039012.jpeg (1.46 MB, 3000x3000, IMG_7584.jpeg)

hey check this out brownie head

Anonymous 01/12/24 (Fri) 05:42:24 PM No. 1849828

>>1848949
Glad to see that anons are back to shitposting, that is, posting about their literal shit

Anonymous 01/12/24 (Fri) 05:45:20 PM No. 1849832

File: 1705081519562.png (221.78 KB, 700x383, 6ij800.png)

>>1848345
so your severely mentally ill too

Anonymous 01/12/24 (Fri) 06:04:09 PM No. 1849858

File: 1705082648984.jpg (98.95 KB, 1024x1024, 5e647f88664cf_f850fc37_1280.jp…)

>>1848940
poop

Anonymous 01/13/24 (Sat) 11:01:42 AM No. 1851214

>>1808502
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL!!!

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 04:02:47 PM No. 1856963

My idea of hell is going to the wedding of a childless millennial couple: they’re both overweight and B.O smelling, the woman has pink hair, their French bulldog is the ring bearer and they have 4 pitbulls in flower crowns as the bridesmaids because women are too much drama. The groomsmen all dress as different marvel superheroes and the cake is either marvel, anime, Rick and morty or Disney themed with a funko pop bride and groom on top. For their first dance they both memorise the choreography from Shrek 2. Their wedding vows are full of sexually suggestive puns and the phrases “blowing my back out” and “rearranging my insides” are used multiple times, and they both sign off with using a phrase from some shitty tv show, either “you’re my lobster” or “I wolf you”. The food is all pure junk, burgers and pizza rolls because they’re so quirky and adorkable and healthy meals are fatphobic. Perhaps it’s vegan, perhaps not. Then they will honeymoon at Disney world but spend the entire time bitterly lamenting the presence of pesky children.

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 04:14:28 PM No. 1856977

>>1856963
i absolutely hate how real and terrifying this is. however, i dislike the lack of them being poly and their third being part of the ceremony/vows/wedding cake. otherwise very solid nightmare fuel. B+

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 04:25:20 PM No. 1856987

>>1856963
the wife will then regularly post on reddit about how she doesn't get bridezillas (other girls) because HER wedding was BEAUTIFUL and it only cost $100!!!!!

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 04:41:19 PM No. 1857007

>>1856963
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little.

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 04:49:42 PM No. 1857013

File: 1705423782279.jpeg (503.58 KB, 2048x2048, 009292517_4c888g0P7.jpeg)

Daigo Dojima was once lost…
…but now, He is found in Jesus Christ.

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 05:13:35 PM No. 1857034

>>1856977
I was going to add a polyamorous arc during the sequel Millenial Wedding 2: The Throupling. The scrote asks to open his marriage because he (35m) has a giant crush on his coworker (18f) except she declines to join the relationship because duh, and instead the wife gets 5 or more boyfriends. At least one of these boyfriends acts as a wolf full time. He tries to act like he’s totally fine with it while being cuckholded relentlessly. Massive trigger warning though because the ending will be extremely violent (he annihilates the whole fucked up family and then kills himself. I decided to add a happy ending)

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 05:27:39 PM No. 1857057

>>1857034
to be realisiic the polyculle also needs to double as an equaly dysfunctional ttrpg group

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 07:53:43 PM No. 1857165

>>1857034
>>1857057
And they also both come out as "queer" the wife dyes her hair purple and starts identifying as a pansexual she/they (who conveniently, has never touched a pussy other than her own), the husband comes out as "sex positive", starts painting his nails, and eventually troons out all the way which leads the wife to begin identifying as a "lesbian" because "my husband was a woman all along, yall! even before i knew she was!". they both make a big show of destroying all their harry potter merch that they already spent hundreds on because jk rowling is a "heckin terf". the money is still wasted, and it still went to jk rowling's pockets, but it's ok because the 300 updoots they got on r/witchesvspatriarchy was more than enough to make up for it !

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 07:59:19 PM No. 1857175

You gals won't mind if I grunt and sqeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee -

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 08:27:48 PM No. 1857200

>>1857165
They’ll never escape JK Rowling though because they both have their hogwarts house coat of arms tattooed on their pasty flabby biceps.

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 08:31:05 PM No. 1857205

>>1857200
which is why they open a gofundme to get money to have them removed!

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 09:06:58 PM No. 1857249

File: 1705439218254.jpg (62.15 KB, 960x490, EQVqMsWWAAEKU3v.jpg)

>>1857165
Instead of the traditional "newly married" the back of their vehicle says "support ukraine"

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 09:14:37 PM No. 1857264

ME BOMBOCLAT!!!!!!!

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 09:24:05 PM No. 1857279

>>1857249
They don’t have a vehicle because r/FuckCars.

Anonymous 01/16/24 (Tue) 09:25:15 PM No. 1857280

>>1857264
BLOD CLAT PUSSYBOI BOMBA RAS CLAT.

Anonymous 01/17/24 (Wed) 01:17:08 AM No. 1857710

File: 1705454228698.jpeg (69.15 KB, 851x708, IMG_6378.jpeg)

please make me stop having to suck drool from the bottom of my mouth my gums are reeeeeeling

Anonymous 01/17/24 (Wed) 06:29:38 PM No. 1858902

I just freestyled an acapella remix of murder on the dance floor by sophie Ellis bexter for my cat. It goes;
there’s a kitty in my sea -heat
whys she always in my seat?
get out the way!
there’s a kitty in my sea -heat
and she better fuckin move
kitty!
gotta move this goddamn kitty now!

Anonymous 01/17/24 (Wed) 07:16:40 PM No. 1858960

A HUEVO JAJAJAJAJAJAJA XD XPPP

Anonymous 01/18/24 (Thu) 12:27:20 AM No. 1859318

CALLATE JAJAJA XDEP

Anonymous 01/18/24 (Thu) 12:54:01 AM No. 1859345

BITCHES AIN'T SHIT AND THEY AIN'T SAYIN NOTHIN
A HUNDRED MOTHAFUCKAS CAN'T TELL ME NOTHIN
I BEEZ IN THE TRAP, BE-BEEZ IN THE TRAP
I BEEZ IN THE TRAP, BE-BEEZ IN THE TRAP

Anonymous 01/18/24 (Thu) 01:50:50 AM No. 1859430

o

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 12:30:46 AM No. 1861571

APPLE SNOT ON JEANS, FOOTS WITH THE BRRRRR

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 01:38:08 AM No. 1861607

RAH RAH LIKE A DUNGEON DRAGON

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 02:55:07 AM No. 1861669

>>1859430
p

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 08:28:39 AM No. 1861947

File: 1705739318965.jpg (14.72 KB, 320x252, 8743221111111.jpg)

threadpic text makes me kek because in the most well-known Finnish version of this meme the text says
>mm, this looks and tastes like shit!

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 10:55:57 AM No. 1861983

>>1861947
kek i love finns, you guys rock

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 05:05:02 PM No. 1862164

File: 1705770301674.png (895.92 KB, 1280x1206, tumblr_ebacafbee8e71df9b1c734c…)

I would go to America if this was the America

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 05:11:00 PM No. 1862168

File: 1705770660628.jpg (29.26 KB, 600x600, gtdr,x1500,front,black-c,216,3…)

>>1861983
i luv the metal and spurdo

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 08:50:06 PM No. 1862349

>>1862164
He is fat(*bones rattling*)

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 09:09:48 PM No. 1862373

>>1862349
rattle rattle!!!!!

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 09:11:54 PM No. 1862376

>>1862373
jiggle jiggle!!!!!

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 09:16:16 PM No. 1862384

nya~

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 09:26:29 PM No. 1862402

>>1862349
you didnt deserve to get banned you were so right

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 09:31:43 PM No. 1862407

>>1862349
kek mods are fat burgerfags confirmed

Anonymous 01/20/24 (Sat) 09:59:33 PM No. 1862420

File: 1705787973282.png (238.93 KB, 447x447, 20240120230018.png)

>>1862349

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 01:29:32 AM No. 1862605

>>1862349
I was referencing a joke in Hetalia of him being called fat

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 01:44:16 AM No. 1862627

File: 1705801456804.jpg (80.4 KB, 600x853, United.States.full.875596.jpg)

>>1862349
I wanna pinch his tummy and take his fat ass to the gym

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 02:35:01 AM No. 1862672

>>1862164
i would love to illegaly penetrates him

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 02:40:04 AM No. 1862681

File: 1705804802490.gif (4.47 MB, 498x273, sushichaeng-jake-enhypen-dog-1…)

how does he sleep knowing he did this on national tv ?

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 03:24:25 AM No. 1862723

>>1862681
He probably doesn't. Would YOU be able to sleep at night knowing you've humilated yourself in such a way on live national TV?

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 03:38:33 AM No. 1862745

>>1862681
Snug in his fat dicked bfs arms

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 06:58:34 AM No. 1862907

>>1862681
Why did he do this?

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:15:35 AM No. 1862913

>>1862681
this gif and the one of that cringe guy in a suit whipping something with a belt while keeping his hand in his pocket are my worst nightmares
fuck i just remembered that i saw them both combined before

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:22:31 AM No. 1862918

File: 1705821750757.gif (1006.91 KB, 500x199, tumblr_366c5e1b6e06ca930bebb85…)

>>1862913
Daddy disapproves. Beg daddy for forgiveness

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:28:09 AM No. 1862924

File: 1705822089812.jpg (42.05 KB, 736x716, 6b74c99b89c17a6e86bcf0de89782a…)

>>1862918
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:49:34 AM No. 1862938

File: 1705823374259.jpeg (26.52 KB, 554x554, 1636877377025.jpeg)

>>1862918
Someone in the projared thread said he had this energy and I now I can't unsee it

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:53:15 AM No. 1862940

>>1862938
This was projareds alt

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 08:04:06 AM No. 1862945

File: 1705824246565.jpg (Spoiler Image,86.29 KB, 696x723, 743768b676f4705d1a01579b377161…)

I found this picture because someone here reminded me of him and wanted to reverse image search it…the search lead me to a very unhinged thread of a lolcow nearly a decade ago with some random avatarfagging as him while no one bats an eye about it like wtf kek

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 08:04:24 AM No. 1862946

File: 1705824262606.gif (5.89 MB, 600x450, 1607732577686.gif)

>>1862918
superior version

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 08:04:54 AM No. 1862947

File: 1705824294016.jpg (Spoiler Image,18.99 KB, 271x275, 1433886618850.jpg)

>>1862945
this is probably among one of the weirdest things I've seen…

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 08:09:19 AM No. 1862951

>>1862947
i don't know anon, i would give your lolcow a lot of likes to be honest, emojis even

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 05:48:09 PM No. 1863369

>>1862681
I remember that gif being posted CONSTANTLY at one point and I saw him so much that when I closed my eyes to go to sleep I saw this gif

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 06:35:34 PM No. 1863424

File: 1705862133364.gif (1.38 MB, 320x245, N_qdX4.gif)

from now on we'll be using the metric timezone in this land

10 seconds in a minute
10 minutes in an hour
10 hours in a day
10 days in a week
10 weeks in a month
10 months in a year
10 years in a decade

it all adds up, it all multiplies and divides by 10, it is simply a superior system.

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:13:55 PM No. 1863473

File: 1705864435207.jpeg (29.73 KB, 275x227, IMG_1291.jpeg)

>>1862946
i have not laughed this hard in a long time, tears were coming out. bless you binch for this indeed is the superior version

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:23:56 PM No. 1863493

>>1856963
I know people IRL who had their officiant do the "MAWWAIGE IS WHAT BWINGS US TOGETHEWR" bit from The Princess Bride and I can't think of a more Reddit moment if I tried

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:35:09 PM No. 1863516

File: 1705865709433.jpg (73.1 KB, 706x814, 1000002281.jpg)

Autistic person at the function

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:37:10 PM No. 1863522

File: 1705865830610.jpeg (166.43 KB, 1536x2048, EBFCD47B-B496-4733-821D-39EFAB…)

>>1863516
Bro went

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 07:40:18 PM No. 1863529

>>1863522
Autism stare

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 10:37:01 PM No. 1863788

>>1863424
Based, but you also forgot, 60 decades in a century because why not

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 10:57:01 PM No. 1863810

>>1863424
Will September, October, November and December be the 7th, 8th, 9th respectively 10th months under this system?

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 11:04:01 PM No. 1863816

>>1863516
Who tf would bring a cat to a bar??? That’s so fucking irresponsible wtf

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 11:05:44 PM No. 1863817

>>1863816
Why not? The cat just wants to party and have fun like everyone else. Don't be discriminatory.

Anonymous 01/21/24 (Sun) 11:10:23 PM No. 1863820

>>1863817
I know it’s le funni posting thread but loud noises and drunk people is not a good environment for an animal to be in

Anonymous 01/22/24 (Mon) 02:14:13 AM No. 1864017

im gonna kill

Anonymous 01/22/24 (Mon) 02:15:17 AM No. 1864019

>>1864017
Yourself

Anonymous 01/22/24 (Mon) 02:15:39 AM No. 1864020

>>1863820
>>1863816
We are all aware of this bitch respond to the tweet and move on idc

Anonymous 01/22/24 (Mon) 02:20:14 AM No. 1864025

>>1864019
augh fuck

Anonymous 01/22/24 (Mon) 04:12:49 AM No. 1864138

-farts-

Anonymous 01/22/24 (Mon) 04:15:13 AM No. 1864139

>>1864138
Middle aged humor

Anonymous ## Farmhand 01/22/24 (Mon) 08:33:55 AM No. 1864327

This thread is temporarily locked while Hellweek is in effect. See the Hellweek thread for more info: >>>/meta/67909

Anonymous 02/05/24 (Mon) 09:48:23 PM No. 1878548

Welcome back?

Anonymous 02/05/24 (Mon) 10:36:54 PM No. 1878609

>>1878548
We are so back

Anonymous 02/05/24 (Mon) 10:41:26 PM No. 1878615

File: 1707172885443.gif (961.23 KB, 500x281, IMG_0088.GIF)

aw fuck yeah i missed retardposting

Anonymous 02/05/24 (Mon) 10:44:33 PM No. 1878619

Missed you retards ♥

Anonymous 02/05/24 (Mon) 10:49:25 PM No. 1878623

swinging in the backyard pull up in your fast car whistling my name

Anonymous 02/05/24 (Mon) 10:55:14 PM No. 1878628

~farts~

Anonymous 02/06/24 (Tue) 12:12:03 AM No. 1878694

>>1878628
Can you at least go outside to do that so you don't stink up the thread with your farts, it's impolite.

Anonymous 02/06/24 (Tue) 12:39:44 AM No. 1878720

File: 1707179984049.jpg (829.53 KB, 1080x1733, 1000009618.jpg)

>>1878694
Farts.

Anonymous 02/06/24 (Tue) 12:47:52 AM No. 1878731

i dont understand the theory that eating chocolate can make your cramps worse i can feel like theres a screwdriver in my cervix and feel immediately better if i eat a spoonful of nutella

Anonymous 02/06/24 (Tue) 12:59:19 AM No. 1878750

>>1878720
damm girl are you single, i like the way your socks defy the laws of physix

Anonymous 02/06/24 (Tue) 05:25:53 AM No. 1879056

File: 1707197152544.png (110.46 KB, 210x242, beatrice.png)

Anonymous 02/06/24 (Tue) 06:25:48 AM No. 1879074

File: 1707200747612.png (588.27 KB, 750x850, IMG_2279.png)

WELCOME BACK TARDS

Anonymous 02/07/24 (Wed) 03:14:30 AM No. 1880124

File: 1707275670412.png (347.63 KB, 1081x720, 134D8394-8CAE-41B1-B08E-2E16B1…)

Started wheezing seeing these pics in the ugly bf/hot gf thread because I am a gym nonna with an asian bf who is skinny (but pretty and he touches grass so he has some tone/definition) and couldn’t stop cackling bc this could 100% be us at a formal photoshoot. idk where else to post this bc its certified dumbassery but I am still laughing at this, it hit way too close to home kekkekekeke

Anonymous 02/07/24 (Wed) 01:23:32 PM No. 1880581

File: 1707312211959.png (495.31 KB, 856x478, weeeee.png)

anti brainwashing network: re-wash your brain put all the shit back in
what would we call it? I'll shout you out in my album I'll be a prolific shitpost backpack rapper one day…the only female of our kind alas

Anonymous 02/07/24 (Wed) 02:32:21 PM No. 1880607

>>1880124
Gigastacy nonnie, you sound amazing.

Anonymous 02/09/24 (Fri) 10:44:03 AM No. 1882595

beer in hand, foot in my moid's mouth does it get any better ladies

Anonymous 02/14/24 (Wed) 01:38:21 PM No. 1887949

I miss the old lolcow

Anonymous 02/29/24 (Thu) 04:45:07 PM No. 1906564

File: 1709225107132.gif (218.27 KB, 450x338, 170609369238.gif)

[Fergie:]
Let's get retarded in here

[Apl.de.ap:]
And the bass keeps runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin' and runnin', runnin' and

[Will.I.am:]
In this context, there's no disrespect
So when I bust my rhyme, you break ya necks
We got five minutes for us to disconnect
From all intellect collect the rhythm effect
Obstacles are inefficient, follow your intuition
Free your inner soul and break away from tradition
'Cause when we be out, girlies pull they weave out
You wouldn't believe how we wow shit out
Burn it 'til it's burned out, turn it 'til it's turned out
Act up from north, west, east, south

[The Black Eyed Peas:]
Everybody, everybody, just get into it, get stupid
Get retarded, get retarded, get retarded

Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here)
Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here)
Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here)
Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here), yeah

[Taboo:]
Lose control, of body and soul
Don't move too fast, people, just take it slow
Don't get ahead, just jump into it
Y'all hear about it, the Peas will do it
Get started, get stupid
Don't worry about it, people will walk you through it
Step by step like an infant new kid
Inch by inch with the new solution
Transmit hits with no delusion
The feeling's irresistible and that's how we movin'

[The Black Eyed Peas:]
Everybody, everybody, just get into it, get stupid
Get retarded, get retarded, get retarded

Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here)
Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here)
Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here)
Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here), yeah

Runnin' runnin' and runnin' runnin' and runnin' runnin'
C'mon y'all, let's get (Coo-koo), c'mon, let's get (Coo-koo) in here
C'mon y'all, let's get (Coo-koo), c'mon, let's get (Coo-koo) in here
C'mon y'all, let's get (Coo-koo), c'mon, let's get (Coo-koo) in here
Ohh ohh ohh, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya
Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya

[Apl.de.ap:]
Let's get ill, that's the deal
Ap the gate, and Will bring the thugged out drill (Just)
Lose your mind, this is the time
Y'all can't stand still, trust and bang your spine (Just)
Bob your head like epilepsy
Up inside the club or in your Bentley
Get messy, loud and sick
You mind pass normal on another head trip
So, come them now, do not correct it
Let's get ignorant, let's get hectic

[The Black Eyed Peas:]
Everybody, everybody, just get into it, get stupid
Get retarded, get retarded, get retarded

Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here)
Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here)
(R-e-t-a-r-d-e-d)
Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here)
Let's get retarded (Ha), let's get retarded (In here), yeah
(Whoa, coo-koo, coo-koo, r-e-t-a-r-d-e-d)

Ohh ohh ohh, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya
Ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya, ya
And runnin' runnin' and runnin' runnin' and runnin' runnin' and

Anonymous 03/08/24 (Fri) 06:31:48 PM No. 1916490

File: 1709922708277.png (1.86 MB, 1179x2556, IMG_4271.png)

snowch

Anonymous 05/03/24 (Fri) 05:31:58 AM No. 1988914

does anyone else get a weird stinging sensation when you eat a food item with too much sugar in it? not necessarily sour just pungent

Anonymous 05/03/24 (Fri) 05:32:34 AM No. 1988915

retarded shitposting is autosaged too…?

Anonymous 05/05/24 (Sun) 10:39:22 PM No. 1991966

File: 1714948762494.jpg (36.12 KB, 564x408, 65125c2fa63e5b686d904562b14f5d…)

me and you

Anonymous 05/18/24 (Sat) 01:34:57 AM No. 2007182

Kill scrotums. Behead scrotums. Roundhouse kick a scrotum into the concrete. Abort scrotums. Bash scrotum newborns on rocks. Put scrotum babies into baskets and throw them into the Nile. Feed scrotums to crocodiles. Crucify filthy scrotes. Poison scrotes. Circumcise scrotes. Launch scrotums into the sun. Put scrotums into a locked room and let them rape each other to death. Toss scrotums into active volcanoes. Castrate scrotums and put their genitalia into a wood chipper. Twist scrotums heads off. Put needles in scrotums' faces. Remove scrotums' limbs with a steel wire. Report scrotums to the FBI. Inject scrotums with air. Dye a scrotum's hair orange and trap him into a seclusion with male orangutans. Rearrange scrotum faces with a hammer. Surprise slaughter your scrotum while he showers. Shoot scrotums in court. Exterminate scrotums in the gas chamber. Lobotomize scrotums. Mandatory bullet in the head for scrotums. Grind scrotum fetuses in the garbage disposal. Put scorching metal rods up scrotums. Arrange drug rape dates of scrotums with local AIDS-ridden faggots. Clone Jeffrey Dahmer and release him into the streets. Kick old scrotums down the stairs. Slice scrotums with a katana.

Anonymous 05/19/24 (Sun) 05:19:10 AM No. 2008869

If retard shitposting should stay
You would only be in jannies' way
So you'll go, but I know
I'll think of you every step of the way

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIAIIIIIIAIIIIIIIIIIIIII

WILL ALWAYS LOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

Anonymous 06/04/24 (Tue) 07:21:23 PM No. 2035722

>wake up to my edm/chainsmokers alarm clock
>cuddle my poop emoji pillow
>send snapchats with the dog filter, check my snapscore
>put mascara over my blue orbs, put my ombre hair in a messy bun
>get dwarfed by an infinity scarf because im smol
>apply eos unicorn lipbalm, get my eyebrows on fleek
>whilst waiting for the bus, i open buzzfeed to find out which hogwarts house i would be in, and what outfit would correspond to it (a maroon (for griffindor) skater skirt and ankle booties, and a long cardigan
>at school, secretly read wattpads and watch shrek mlgs and animations at break, admire my friend's fairy tail and aot backpacks, pretend im in a sports anime during volleyball
>get home and play flappy bird on the bus
>put on my quirky moustache pyjamas and enjoy nutella on toast because nutella is bae
>go to sleep after a nice reading of 'kidnapped by blackpink' on wattpad
>life is good