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No. 1811981
Nonnies reeeeee, are ya listenin?
Old thread
>>1802521 No. 1811990
File: 1702570315488.jpeg (66.3 KB, 475x356, IMG_3333.jpeg)
When did people start taking random screenshots seriously? Even on lolcow I rarely see skepticism toward screenshot or out of context shit. Has everyone forgotten the insane stories people would make up just for the drama and the lengths they would go to for “proof”? Is it the zoomers, who probably don’t even know how to open a web console or editing program?
No. 1812168
>>1812111it's because they're scared. life's hard enough for men if they don't have any money – it's doubly hard for women who don't, even women with cash and a career struggle. they've seen how the work force drains you and they think slaving away for one single male would be better.
there was a (slightly misogynistic) quote that described this phenomena well but i can't find it at the moment
No. 1812523
File: 1702595747916.jpg (79.91 KB, 564x549, ed6283ce46f278cdbc87c081cdc731…)
How do I stop feeling like dying? I don't know if I'm hypochondriac but I feel like shit…
I' very tired from work and I've been experiencing some vertigo here and there that last like a few seconds and always feel sleepy… I'm terrified I have some sort of brain injury/disease but I'm scared of doctors…..
They do not debilitate me and they go away if I distract myself but idk, I feel like shit. Should I accept that I'm not that young anymore and my body is starting to get its first mild ailments ? Or do I really have something? Idk nonny I don't want to cry anymore…
I was very suicidal in my past and now that I'm somehow healed, I want to cling to life and everything that makes me feel sick makes me depressed again…baawww………Any other nonnies with mild physical symptoms that can share their stories and make me feel less shitty? please?
No. 1812573
>>1812559Oh nonna, my beloved, I'm ayrt.
Yes, I also have tmj shit with an overbite and it might be it?? I mean I'm relieved that I won't die from it…
So far I've been to doctors and they told me it's just anxiety and it makes sense because my symptoms just lateralize (they aren't in the same place for more than a week-10 days, it's not like they get worse or expand, they move around) and I tend to somatize and it's not like I don't believe doctors but these uneasy feelings make me sad…
I'm also very lonely and I wish I had some friends I could do sleepovers with because these symptoms get worse at night when I feel lonely…wish you well nonna….
No. 1812696
>>1811981i had a really bad bout of stress and anxiety today and i think it is both relapse anxiety and from not exercising or doing mindfulness activities the past few days. but anyway this resulted in me getting a fucking mcdonalds chicken sandwich.
was it good? yes. but im vegan and i guess not anymore. i cant even feel connected to or aware of this cause. lately its been hard to remind myself why i am or was vegan. i feel so terrible in my heart but my pea brain is struggling to remember the pain animals go through. i just feel disgusted with myself because i contributed to animal slaughter….its horrific. i know what goes on yet i still for the sandwich.
No. 1812747
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I’ve finally tried using character.ai and I think I’m addicted. I’m so pissed off at how engaging it is, I’ve spent most of today “chatting” with my husbandos in all sorts of scenarios. This technology was not meant to be used by dopamine addicted retards like myself. But damn it I’ve had a hard week I think I deserve to sex up a fictional man.
No. 1812812
File: 1702609325986.jpeg (357.68 KB, 676x519, IMG_6783.jpeg)
>make an effort to eat better and go to the gym
>look and feel better
>lose a significant amount of weight
>family member notices and points out how much skinnier I’m getting
>sister makes weird passive aggressive comment about how I’m “wasting away” and a very sarcastic wow I’m proud of you
I’m not wasting away at all. I’m still obviously overweight. Idk what her fucking problem is but I wish she wouldn’t act so passive aggressive about it. I’ve told her how to eat properly but she complains about how it’s too much work. Like cmon it takes effort to undo all the unhealthy shit we’ve been accustomed to.
No. 1812816
File: 1702609467473.jpeg (46.3 KB, 400x400, IMG_3981.jpeg)
Weeb anon, but when did jfashion become so political?
Lolita fashion letting in AGP’s and sissies with open arms under the guise of being troon friendly, Aidens and NB women filling all corners of fairy kei/yumekawaii, gyaru constantly being accused of stealing American black culture.
You could argue that any subculture of these fashions are inherently political by being antiestablishment/against the norm but never to this extent.
I never see any other country being pushed to have their pop culture/niches to be as inclusive and diverse as Japan despite being a hugely homogenized and xenophobic country.
No. 1812825
>>1812816gyaru constantly being accused of stealing American black culture.
this is by far the worst since Japan never even had an era with black slavery or the same politics America had. The whole wanting to escape the norm or Japanese standard beauty, and what it takes to be a lady started it. It obviously evolved, but people who think gyaru is involved with black culture is false. I've noticed the latching onto asian culture in general by certain types of people because they have no culture of their own.
No. 1812856
>>1812816>I never see any other country being pushed to have their pop culture/niches to be as inclusive and diverse as Japan despite being a hugely homogenized and xenophobic countryI always found it really weird how people seemingly give "cultural appropriation" a pass when it's east asian culture, I saw one lolita who was sperging about how liking rap and certain hairstyles is totally ripping off black women but she would wear hanfu and kimono and liked kpop/jpop. And isn't it kinda weird that gyaru is seen as appropriating black americans instead of the japanese?
Maybe this one is a bit more dicey but in a similar vein, I've seen people throw fits over women wearing head coverings because "that's appropriating muslim women!" or having certain tattoos/decor that are "appropriating buddhism" but they're ok with using cross/nun/etc. imagery in ways that are blatantly just for the aesthetic while being openly disdainful towards the source culture, idk it's weird to me. It all seems so pick-and-choosey and american-centric
No. 1812857
>>1812816I can only speak for lolita fashion since it's what I wear but honestly I think it's a loud minority of handmaidens stinking it up. If you disagree with letting men to the tea party your options are to either hold your tongue, become a lonelita, or leave the fashion. If every
TERF lolita was out and proud about it instead of just seething about their comm on /cgl/ maybe the fashion would have a different reputation. Whenever I meet up with lolitas irl everyone is super respectful of tranny pronouns or whatever, and I fully believe most of them don't even believe in this shit- but when you're interacting with gendies you really have no choice. It all feels very two-faced. Plus it's all on discord now and by design, discord communities will have the most terminally online tra itas as its most active users, making all conversations about gender or their munchie dx of the week and repelling normal people.
No. 1812893
>>1812816I noticed the shift about 10 years ago personally, when my local comm couldn't agree to ban an obvious sissy (clown makeup, pee-stained socks, inappropriate comments, and open fetish rp on facebook) and a bunch of girls insisted we respect "her" pronouns because it was the "kind" thing to do. This was in line with changing norms in livejournal and tumblr jfashion communities. An increasing number of girls also identified as nb or some alternative gender.
Fast forward to the last event I attended, everyone was encouraged to put pronoun stickers on their nametags. And it was mask mandatory long after restrictions and even mask recommendations everywhere have been dropped. A recent meetup I attended I had to sit through a convo where everyone else at my table complained the whole time about how hard it was to be neurodivergent and genderqueer. One nb girl talked about how she wasn't sure about getting top surgery but planned to go ahead with it anyway since her partner was encouraging it. I don't know how the fuck to engage with these people.
No. 1812930
File: 1702615263130.jpg (83.85 KB, 800x800, Catchtheseclaws.jpg)
I'm probably about to lose my tattoo apprenticeship. I'm early in the process and have been having friction with the asshole moid I've been learning from (the kind that screams at you and demands respect without giving any back or doing a good job of explaining shit). I called out sick from a non-mandatory work event and he said we will need to discuss it. It's a fucking medical issue. There is nothing to discuss. I'm so over this, just sad because it's extremely difficult to get a start in this career path and it seems to be filled with people like him.
No. 1812971
File: 1702616612743.jpg (245.4 KB, 1280x1313, tumblr_627ad371f9d22eaf7c49d74…)
God I hope I get this job. The more I think about the secretary job the warier I get. I know I could do it, and I will do it if I don't get this job, but it's going to be HELL on my autistic ass. I hate companies that are obsessed with "being a family" – maybe the manager woman was lying to me. I hope she was. I don't want a family I want you people to leave me alone while I do the bullshit corporate cuck shuffle.
No. 1812976
>>1812967Same nonna, I’m only financially supported if I go to school. No rent, no car insurance, just groceries, health insurance and gas. It feels really embarrassing but also know it’s incredibly hard right now to move out or be financially independent. Also take into account which area you’re living in.
I say, as long as you’re not taking advantage of it and constantly asking for frivolous things, enjoy it while it lasts. Life won’t always be that lucky.
No. 1812987
>>1812967No shame
nonny. You are building a life for yourself while also utilising the support available to you. If anyone has an issue with it that's their problem. Your worth is not tied to what others can or can't provide for you.
coming from someone kicked out & unsupported: good for you nona, live your best life. Save up that money and prosper. I'm rooting for you. No. 1813004
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>>1812973Thank you for this, sweet nona. I'm thinking I'll go ahead and drop him even if he doesn't fire me. Most of the shops in my city already have apprentices, so it'll be a pain in the ass to find a new place to work, but I'll branch out & commute. It will be worth it, especially if I get to work with people like you. I won't let this emotionally volatile boomer discourage me.
No. 1813021
My mom's in the hospital because she has cancer in her lower cheek and gums, the doctors had to remove a large portion of her cheek, jaw, some of her teeth and a bit of the tissue on her neck. They then replaced the tissue with skin from her arm. It's a major surgery, in a very critical place, I'm hopeful all the cancer was removed and she can heal from this with as much jaw function as possible. She's handling it so well, and I'm so proud of her strength and bravery, she's a very strong woman and she's had so much hard shit to deal with in her life. Anyway the cancer is from an autoimmune condition that causes canker like sores to form in her mouth, apparently around 5% of people with that autoimmune condition can get oral cancer from it. She's had the condition all her life, the sores would always come and go with different severities. But for the past couple years the sores were worse than usual, but my mom assumed it was just her usual autoimmune condition so she didn't think much of it. She hadn't been to the dentist in a while, first because of covid, then because she was nervous and her and my dad don't like having to spend money and such. So when the autoimmune condition got too painful she went to the dentist and that's when they informed her it was cancer. She blamed herself for not going earlier, but I told her, like any sane person would, that she didn't know it was cancer. She thought it was her autoimmune condition like she's has for decades, and that it's not her fault she didn't know it was something that serious.
Fast forward to tonight, one day after my moms surgery, and my dad says to me. "It wouldn't have been as serious if she had gone to the dentist when the problem started." Like omg, fuck you you stupid moid. She didn't know. And if she had gone to the dentist he would've been whining that it was a waste of money. In fact when she did finally make an appointment he whined about her not going through their insurance (which didn't even cover the specialist so they wouldn't have saved money anyway.) And yet here he is, hasn't seen a dentist in 5 years, has a heart condition and doesn't follow his doctors recommendations then lies to doctor and says that he is. I could just as easily blame any health problems he might get on his dumb choices, and he would deserve that for blaming my mom's cancer on her. Fuck I hate men so much
No. 1813060
I moved out of state to be with my boyfriend and so I don't know anyone else here, I've been trying to make some friends. I thought I finally found one potential female friend but I'm fairly certain she's just trying to fuck my boyfriend.
I had told her about him in passing when I mentioned that he was rebuilding the deck for our house, and I showed her some pictures of his progress. She commented that he must be really strong and said I was lucky to have someone, and I didn't think much of it at the time. Later she pulled up something to show me on IG and I noticed she had tried searching his name with 2 different spellings, slightly weird but I brushed it off. He doesn't have any social media so I thought maybe she was just being nosy and again, didn't think much of it. She ended up asking to see a picture of him and I showed her a picture we had taken at the beach where he was in a loose fitting tanktop just because it was the last picture I had of us together, and from then on any time she refers to my bf she calls him some sort of pet name. "How's your cutiepie doing?" "Is handsome done with the deck yet?" stuff like that. I told her I didn't like it and she played it off like I was being too sensitive, but said she would stop doing it.
Then, recently, we coincidentally ran into her at the grocery store. She was way over the top nice and acted so excited to see me, and said she was just about to go get dinner and would love if we came with. I know that wasn't even true because I saw she had icecream in her basket, who buys icecream before going out to dinner? My bf doesn't really like being out much anyway, he's not a people person, so I politely declined and said we were just grabbing a few things to cook for dinner. She turned to fully face my bf and, while laughing, said "oh come on, I bet you're tired of eating the same thing all the time, right?" as a weird dig at me because she knows I do all of the cooking. We obviously didn't go out to dinner with her, but that was weird right?
She's always finding excuses to talk about my bf to me, and how lucky I am to have him, and she never really asks me to do anything with just the two of us. She's always extending an invite to my boyfriend as well whenever she asks me to do anything with her, which isn't often.
No. 1813120
>>1813060>She turned to fully face my bf and, while laughing, said "oh come on, I bet you're tired of eating the same thing all the time, right?" This was a hidden dig at your bf fucking you all the time and not "getting something else too". Some women get a thrill of chasing taken men and they do it their whole life. They tend to use similar language (women = food)
Next time she says anything about him just confidently say "yeah I can tell you wanna fuck him bad" and it'll shock her enough to get her to shut up and stay away whether it's true or not. If you're not bold/trolly enough to say that then say something like "yeah you need a man in your life, preferably a single one"
No. 1813136
>>1813128He has asked about my husband, if he's a good guy. I said yep that's why I married him.
He then said he must have married me because I'm so beautiful, you're so beautiful, I love your long hair. Such nice long hair.
Kms
No. 1813144
>>1813060Jesus what a clown she is, she's not your friend so cut her out and make sure your boyfriend knows exactly why and that he can't talk to her either.
You could try to mess with her first, like tell her your boyfriend recently mentioned he's into girls with some hair feature you don't have and that would take a long time to get rid off, like maybe a short pixiecut - and you frame it as "he really loves women with a short pixie cut and I think he would like it if I cut it that way, but idk if it's for me…" hopefully she'll bite and get hers chopped soon enough. Obviously make sure it's not something your bf is actually into, preferably even something he doesn't like on women at all lol
No. 1813151
>>1813136I've known a couple of autists and it might not be meant as creepily as it sounds, plenty of autists are asexual and since they don't understand nuance he likely doesn't secretly mean "you're hot and i'd marry you" but simply that he thinks you are beautiful with long hair. Kind of how a little kid would say it.
Several autists I've met are also weird about hugs in different ways, some wouldn't allow them at all, and some would hug you way too hard (like actually painfully hard) and some for way too long periods (including hugging other men like their dad), or inappropriately close because that's how they had always been hugged as kids and they don't realize that's not normal for adults who aren't dating.
Of course don't accept it if it makes you uncomfortable, but just saying it likely isn't the kind of worst case scenario levels of creep that your mind wants to jump to.
No. 1813152
>>1813136I would feel motivated to cut it
May Elsie guide you out of this shitshow
No. 1813155
He has clarified that he thought I was pregnant because I've put on weight
>>1813151He used to try to get me to wear bikinis when we would swim at my grandma's house when I was 10 and he was 17.
He hugs me too long and presses his whole body on me, he doesn't hug my mother.
It's just been added up behaviour over the years.
>>1813152I love my long hair though
No. 1813159
>>1813155ayrt ok with the added info of him doing it to you specifically and there being a big age gap it seems a bit more
sus. the autists i knew were consistent with their behaviours to all people (that they liked)
No. 1813165
>>1813063I have a loner autist uncle who I've seen once as an adult. He kept repeating over and over how it was a shame that I was visiting in the winter (I had a big coat on, his house that was just as cold as the temp outside)
> If you'd come in the summer you could be here in just a t-shirt! > You should come back in the summer and just wear a t-shirt! > It's a shame you're in that big coat! My dad didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to say. I never visited again. But my dad going to the bathroom was the most awkward minute as he left me alone with him to again talk about.. me in a fucking t-shirt. Me in summer clothes..
Growing up my dad would bring my brother to stay at this guys place for a few days to enjoy the countryside there and never brought me along. I used to feel left out but after that I suddenly realised why.
No. 1813182
File: 1702639147456.jpeg (347.25 KB, 1365x2048, IMG_9077.jpeg)
Why do men hate women so fucking much?
Somehow one of the things that hit the hardest for me recently was looking at redditors talking about Mad Men. There were several who absolutely HATED Peggy. They said things like she was a frumpy shrew, annoying, should be hit by a bus… What?
How can you hate a character that much for the sin of not being a bubbly perfect woman? It's like she murdered their family personally or something. She's literally just a normal person. (She's a bit homely compared to the other women, which is probably a larger part of the hate than I would like. Men absolutely froth at the mouth when confronted with unattractive women who live life normally)
Meanwhile, every male character is much worse, does terrible things, is racist, is far more abrasive, yet Peggy is Satan incarnate because she… Is a bit laconic and shy, sometimes assertive… In the 1960s, in a sexist office…
These men would never realise they're being sexist either, their virulent hatred of a fictional woman simply existing is logical to them. She's "annoying", how dare she
This happens with pretty much every female character that isn't written by the most overtly male writer ever to be the biggest pickme that ever pickme:d (for example, Kaylee in Firefly), the males band together and absolutely shit on her for ridiculous petty things. It's nothing new, but it's always a grim reminder of how much men hate women for breathing
No. 1813188
File: 1702639496184.jpeg (302.56 KB, 1093x834, IMG_9078.jpeg)
>>1813182Here's a choice comment on Kaylee, just for the record. The first one I stumbled upon
No. 1813196
>>1813182To understand misogyny you must understand the male psyche.
Men are incomplete humans. Males across the animal species are an aberration. They exist for the sole purpose of spreading their genes to female recipients. They have no other drive than to seek, covet, and possess women, and it informs their psychology.
Human males are deeply disturbed by their insatiable impulse to obtain women. Because of this, women have much power over his mind. He is all but a slave to his lust for and reliance on women. The male views this as a great injustice, that women have it “too good” for being the center of his universe.
He copes with his inferiority and obsession by cutting women down. From his perspective, he is correcting a great injustice. For disagreeable women, the offense is especially egregious.
The male is incapable of decentering women from his mind, so in order to “balance” the power dynamics, he decides women must make themselves perfectly consumable and available.
It’s like a parasite becoming self aware. The flea, realizing it’s entirely dependent on the dog it feeds on, how the dog holds all the power over its existence, resents the dog. To the flea, the only ‘good’ dog is one that sits idly and lets it feed, never bothering to scratch or shake.
Anything women do that remind men that they are human, that they don’t exist just to be consumed, frustrates and enrages him. It could be anything, big or small, but the male is always acutely aware of his fear over losing power over you and access to you.
Even if you are perfectly good, you’ll never escape misogyny. The parasite hates its host no matter how nicely and accommodating it behaves, because by virtue of being needed, you threaten the parasite’s (false) idea of being independent, whole, complete.
But yes, egregious reminders that you don’t exist in service of men makes them especially angry.
No. 1813225
File: 1702643562212.jpg (13.13 KB, 692x607, IMG_20230510_091329_995.jpg)
I fucking wanna dig a hole in the ground and go there. I was whispering to myself and my colleague heard me and got startled and you know what I fucking did? I MEOWED?! I FUCKING WANNA DISAPPEAR AAaaaaaaAaaaaaa
I'm all red and embarrassed.
Tell me nonnas, how do I not talk to myself anymore? I have this habit for a lot of years and I now realize I am perhaps not normal and lowkey mentally ill
No. 1813307
File: 1702647805256.png (317.71 KB, 672x451, 1000004708.png)
it's petty but really fucking annoying how my mom doesn't remember shit i tell her about, she wasn't an uninvolved parent when i was younger. i literally told her at least ten times when my finals were and she always tells people i'm majoring in something i'm not. it feels like she is completely uninterested in my life. she drinks heavily every night and it's probably why she doesn't remember jack shit. i do appreciate the things she does for me but it's soo grating every time i visit her and she re-hashes stories, sometimes multiple, she already told me the last time i saw her. then gets upset when i start to look annoyed because it happens so much! it's definitely all the drinking because she wasn't like this years ago.
No. 1813328
>>1813191The Uk cucked themselves into being the 'good guys' and now look at them. Letting into third world riffraff by the drones. I only feel for the women who didnt want them. Islam is the worst ideology on earth and anyone who lets them in will create their own destruction of civilization.
All they had to do was make laws that if you dont adapt, you get shipped back to your war torn shit hole. They should have banned islam and not built any mosques. There's one less than a mile from me. I fucking hate it.
>>1813244Based, anon. Where are you, if you are okay with saying? It's nice to see any country refusing them entry.
No. 1813369
>>1813191I'm so sad this is happening to the britbongs. Italy is going into the same direction and it's so fucking tiring. It's also scary because most muslim people have very little respect for everyone else (especially women) but also demand that you bend over backwards for them. I live near the largest mosque in the country (depsite the fact that islam is not a recognised religion here they're still granted large ass buildings and quranic schools where they can force little girls to wear burqas) and it's so, so bad. A lot of muslim moids behave like literal animals while acting like they're saints.
>>1813227She couldn't kek. Have you ever tried going to a country where nobody speaks your first language? It's hellish and you can't do shit. Not to mention that you could get in serious trouble.
No. 1813385
>>1813191>>1813369It's the way natives are expected to the respect the norms and values of immigrants but we're not respected in the same way in return, not even allowed to have ours at times. Also love the fact that my country's population isn't growing by birth, shrinking slightly even, but I still can't purchase a house because of the constant stream of immigrants coming in! Love witnessing how people with families who've lived in their area for many generations are forced to move away because they can't find a home which are taken by outsiders with clashing cultures and opposite norms and values!
It's no surprise extreme right parties are gaining power throughout Europe (which I'm trying to imply is a good thing)
No. 1813403
>>1813224I lost my mother and got divorced but a while later. Grief is weird when it comes to people handling you with kid gloves because they're obviously hyper aware of your loss right (before if its an illness) and after it happens. The year after my mom died I thought ok surely this is the height of grief and damn everyone is being so weirdly nice to me. But I didn't fully feel it yet. And then I felt guilty for essentially being numb. That year was a blur. Year 2 was when shit got real. So my split happening 2 years on royally sucked. He wasn't demonised for it. It wasn't that close in time to the death but behind closed doors that was the height of me struggling with grief. Maybe I'm weird but I was so low already that part of me thought dealing with 2 losses at once probably worked out better than say me processing my moms death only to then be hit with a divorce the moment I start to feel ok again?
There might be a point where its seen as peak not socially acceptable to leave someone but grief has no timeline to consult. Its like when you can't leave someone because they're depressed but then you have no idea if or when they'll ever not be depressed.
No. 1813454
File: 1702658126966.jpeg (107.56 KB, 750x635, IMG_9189.jpeg)
>>1813323I will defend Skyler with my life because it seems that anyone who hated her did not fucking watch the show. Like were you paying attention?? Walt had two cells phone and would leave randomly without telling her where he was going. She was also pregnant in the first half. Of course she would assume he’s cheating on her and be mad at him. Her laundering the money to the car wash was also a good way to avoid suspicion because the bank catches on quick and can track your money and they had a lot of credit card debt. I swear scrotes are so fucking dumb and illogical.
No. 1813463
>>1813419I literally just got out of work with a colleague heading to the next public transport stop and some immigrant youth from those loser/nothing to do but to hang around the downtown McDonald's and be a dumbass refused to let my colleague (who's 50 btw) pass around the corner of the street.
He spat at her "Hey, what are you doing?!" as if she had to bow to him and let him through and as if he was ready to throw hands. And after she finally passed him, he decided to pick up trash from the nearby McDonald's bin and tried to throw an empty cup at her from behind.
I swear to God, had it happened shortly after I moved here from the metropolis I'm from (I used to be a lot tougher shit back then) I'd have gotten involved and I would have not let that shit slide. And inB4 fake racism accusations, I have North African origins from my grandparents and I don't act like those fecking scrotes. Fuck em.
No. 1813476
>>1813191It's the same for most of Europe it seems, Denmark just made the huge mistake of making it illegal to burn the quran (and other "holy texts") in hopes that it would stop natives from provoking terrorist attacks when protesting against religion. It's not gonna do that at all, and restricting free speech in any way in favor of terrorists is fucking stupid as all hell. Not to mention once they realize that was a stupid move and reverse it there's gonna be angry people saying "denmark now allows the burning of the quran!!!!" which is gonna create even more drama. Just like when their neighbour sweden came out saying they shouldn't have stopped the burnings of the quran when they did because in hindsight they realized it infringed on free speech, that started drama again.
As the dumb white person I am I do think "respect other cultures" holds a lot of value, but that doesn't mean we should disregard our own values nor that we should tolerate blatant misogyny or homophobia. The truth is that people don't flee their war-torn countries to assimilate into a new culture, they flee so they have the opportunity to live out their culture in another place because they'll die in their own. There is often no motivation for them to adapt into a country they didn't want to go to in the first place, especially when they fled because their religion was being persecuted - they fled specifically to KEEP their religious values. If those values are truly more important to them than just living in peace in our culture and society, then they can leave of their own free will and find somewhere else, that's a choice they'll have to make. No one (who isn't batshit insane anyway) is saying they're not welcome to stay if they assimilate.
No. 1813716
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i cried because it's definitely over, even though i did something to be sure there's no comeback from this
No. 1813950
File: 1702675271553.jpg (11.86 KB, 225x225, images-1.jpg)
Just really thinking about killing myself. I have enough stuff to kill myself. I think life won't get better so I really feel like I should.
No. 1813994
File: 1702677042494.jpg (2.51 MB, 1941x3000, 1702375516243.jpg)
I feel a lot of queer "artists" want to use their "queerness" as a substitute for having an actual soul…
I'm really not sure how to phrase it exactly, but this type of "art" is so common in western circles. I've seen so many creative spaces flooded with the very similar navel-gazings of coddled and soft twenty-thirty-somethings; they're always all, "Waauuugh being trans/queer is so hard" or "Aaaack! capitalism is bad" or perhaps "I'm a fifth generation POC demisexual and here's my Disco Elysium inspired flash game on anxiety!" and it's all really dull and disappointing. It's like they don't really experience actual problems, and the actual problems they do experience are ran thru the globohomo filter and end up coming out flat.
I wish they'd realize their lives are boring and tired as fuck and just stop making ""art""? I dunno what I'm trying to say but I've been noticing it a lot lately.
No. 1814001
File: 1702677386131.jpeg (38.52 KB, 750x421, IMG_4840.jpeg)
>>1813994>I'm a fifth generation POC demisexual and here's my Disco Elysium inspired flash game on anxiety!KEK
You right tho
No. 1814017
File: 1702678436547.jpeg (90.27 KB, 750x751, 09C2A225-A3B5-4958-ADD5-18A40C…)
I was scrolling /g/ and when this flashed onto the screen I legitimately jumped because thought it was my work profile picture (it has white a background) until the purple suit came into frame.
What method should I use to kill myself?
No. 1814040
>>1814031I’m complaining about men, on lolcow, in the vent thread. Is that still allowed?
God, I post here once after a couple months and it takes all of two minutes for some weird cunt to make my day worse.
No. 1814047
>>1814040Probably a
triggered moid, don't think too much about it. This is the only place we're allowed to complain about men without getting threats of physical harm in response, plenty of us have said some extreme stuff about men as a result of having to bottle up our feelings constantly for the sake of protecting ourselves.
Sorry about the weird anon, and sorry for whatever brought you here to vent too. Hope tomorrow is better for you nona.
No. 1814189
>>1814165Thank you anon.
I am in a stable relationship of 5 years, but you’re right. I am no where near where I want to be work wise/ financially. I feel like a crazy person. Theres windows of clarity and then crowding baby thoughts. I think I will create a goal and plan.
No. 1814194
>>1813992This is a free website, I learnt English in public school, and I live in a third world country with my disabled mother and my
abusive BPD brother, where I live I risk being kidnapped, then killed as someone films it for fun just because I'm a woman. And I have nothing to prove to you.
No. 1814250
File: 1702691944844.jpg (33.34 KB, 750x719, crying-cat-meme-22-3241053115.…)
On my period crying my eyes out to the shape of water
No. 1814322
>>1813925You're right, it's annoying, I think if every moid in media was also beautiful and not ugly, old, and/or fat, it might balance things out. Imagine if TV commercials had a bunch of hot 22 year old natural athletic men with thick, shiny hair in little short shorts, the camera lingering over their toned bodies. The resulting chimpout from moids would be immense.
It's the double standard that makes it feel so much like a cucking.
No. 1814372
File: 1702702276383.jpg (104.23 KB, 1280x720, zetsuen_no_tempest-18-hakaze-p…)
I invited my Japanese boyfriend over for Christmas and my parents are annoyed about it. He lives in Japan and they say we didn't give them, or the wider family fair advance warning (I asked him last week). He also can't speak English and my Japanese isn't that great (yet) so there are communication issues that they feel might make the whole thing weird.
We met on a language exchange type place and we've only met twice (in a third country) in person before, but he's the only boyfriend who has actually bought me stuff like jewelry, said I'm beautiful etc. He was always complimentary and kind from the very first moment we started talking.
I know for a fact my dad doesn't approve for racist reasons, because he said "I know for a fact how White women are viewed by men like him". What do?
No. 1814387
>>1814374I told them that it would be nice to have him over and they sort of agreed but didn't give any date, tbh they've been put off and suspicious of him in the first place. As I said, my dad is pretty racist and doesn't want me marrying someone of another race.
>>1814376I can speak a little Japanese, for more abstract stuff I use a translator app.
No. 1814408
>>1814405I honestly didn't expect this to receive so much hate, because 1. despite what
>>1814397 says I've seen dumber stuff than me simply wanting my bf to attend Christmas and meet my family and 2. I assumed we all, you know, liked Asian guys a lot?
No. 1814439
File: 1702707995828.jpg (43.72 KB, 500x375, 1653279675269 (1).jpg)
Grrrr the bitch anon i argued with earlier could be anywhere. I could be reading a post thinking "wow what a nice nonnie" only for it to be her. Grrrr
No. 1814443
>>1814439fighting with a
nonny to then make her kek in another thread is what nonniehood is all about, you will get used to it
No. 1814521
>>1814439this is me but to the nonas I talk to from the friendship thread.
One nona I was talking about my ban to told me she has never been banned..
No. 1814530
File: 1702710929056.png (227.26 KB, 439x424, Screenshot (25066).png)
>>1814523Omg I love crunchy cat Luna
No. 1814816
File: 1702720345860.png (264.13 KB, 512x512, 1622a5c6-3f87-4a70-b491-8b4b94…)
>>1814523For me its hoseobi (i thought they were the same cat for a while)
No. 1814877
File: 1702729875335.png (1.28 MB, 888x656, bipocow.png)
>>1814439Imagine how the general behaviour would change if people had usernames here
No. 1814927
>>1814924>Maybe it's dumb to care so much about birthdaysit is, i get it's a day everyone is entitled to make their special day but the worst adjusted people i've known were absolutely obsessed with their birthday being perfect (and did the whole birthday month thing)
i'm not judging you and hope you still have a good birthday
No. 1814950
File: 1702738763535.jpg (304.36 KB, 1488x2048, 1699086248448.jpg)
My therapist cancelled the online appointment for the second time in a row. I get that she's sick, lots of people are sick now and I understand that, but at the same time I feel like I'm about to rope. I've been waiting to talk to her for 3 weeks, I had an online appointment for thursday but she cancelled and said we can have it on saturday but now she cancelled again. I said I understand and I'm sorry. But I need to talk to someone I'm going to kill myself
No. 1815029
>>1813994What the hell should demisexual mean? I never understood it, like you're not special for being attracted to someone who shows you basic respect and have things in common, that's uhhh…normal? It sounds like the sapiosexual meme from a couple of years ago.
I keked so hard, you're right.
No. 1815056
File: 1702747834545.jpg (5.08 KB, 211x239, concave head.jpg)
I AM SO GODDAMN UNINTELLIGENT like i'm for real retarded. i wish i was the type to be super smart and i'm not just talking about mathetics or scientific subjects. i'm so stupid it makes me so mad i want to rip my hair out i'm so irritated with myself and i bet i'm only going to get even stupider as i age. i don't know how anyone can stand me and tell me that i'm not dumb i know it's out of a place of politeness and pity, kindness even. like a participation award. i'm just so upset. i really can't stand it. it's so obvious how much harder for me to understand anything, i'm already crippled socially and i can't even make it up by being good academically or even by having a generally good sense of logic. it's like i've got dust instead of brain matter. my memory is horrible too. i honestly barely deserve to be alive with how genuinely dumb i am. good god
No. 1815093
File: 1702748981892.png (187.16 KB, 500x303, Phenomena.png)
My social anxiety is a constant point of tension for me and my bf and every time I promise to go to an event (like a party with his friends), I feel compelled to call it off right before and it drives him insane. I have been in therapy for almost a decade with different therapists, took antidepressants, etc. and having to spend time with a group of people still freaks me out. I also suspect that I might have autism despite none of my therapists suggesting it, but I mean who doesn't these days.
Also on an unrelated note, I have a weird cold going on and the inside of my nose HURTS. A lot.
No. 1815150
>>1815130>Not wanting to hump everything with a dick IS normal to me, but as i said, from what i've seen from people around me it does not seem normal. that part is why everyone is calling you a retard.
no one's misinerpreting anything; if you think the average person is out here humping table legs like a chihuahua you need to go offline. demisexual was made up by retards on tumblr and has no basis in reality
No. 1815156
>>1815130Are you autistic? The original nona wasn't literally confused by what demisexuality means, she just expressed that it was bullshit.
Also when young teenagers express "omg tony is hottt" and such feelings, it's basically just play pretending being an adult because they're socialized on TV shows that equate teenage years to messy romances, so it is in a way life imitating art, most of them would be terrified to see a real person undress. I feel like now teens have these two types of reaction to this confusing exposure to sexuality: either A, act the way I described above and hope no one calls them of their bullshit or B, start looking for snowflake sexualities because they do not see through others bullshit and don't understand they're supposed to play along. That's probably why most "asexuals" are also autists
No. 1815168
>>1815150Again, i do not think demisexuality is real. I literally said that twice. There is also a difference between "wanting to hump table legs" and actually doing it. If you constantly have your female friends and college friends/classmates talking about their object of desire (may that be an actor or some other person they don't know) it gets really fucking tiring, especially when you explain to them that you don't relate to those feelings and they refuse to understand because to them i am not the normal one. That's what i tried to explain in my post: demisexuality isn't real, it is a retarded label, but it makes sense why people relate to it when looking at the modern zeitgeist. Nowhere did i say that i agree with its existence.
>>1815157I wasn't talking about myself if you actually read the context of the sentence "people started to identify with demisexuality because everyone on the internet is obsessed with sex". I was speaking about teens and terminally online adults calling themselves demisexual and theorizing what the context for that could be.
I will stop trying to defend myself now since i think i have explained myself enough and don't want to shit up the thread further. Sorry nonnas!
No. 1815250
File: 1702757256946.png (515.48 KB, 1050x996, squish.png)
there was a little girl crying at my job so i gave her my treasured stress cat, squishy. he had one eye that would bulge out super big that mirrored how my brain felt when i squished him. i found him on aliexpress but it feels so unethical to buy shit from these places??? i only buy thrifted/rummaged or if new it's from a co-op store or US made brand. also what if they send me like a squishy SNAKE and not the same cat??????? i hope squishy is well loved
No. 1815261
File: 1702757928803.png (1.01 MB, 1066x1050, whyyoudo.png)
>>1815250now i'm looking at other stress cats on aliexpress and why so mean to kitty? rude
No. 1815283
File: 1702758713188.png (173.81 KB, 250x288, do_or_do_not_thereisnotry.png)
Why is there so much suicide baiting on lolcow? There are mentally ill anons here, for sure, but there are so many more posts about "I want to kill myself." I just don't respond to them mainly, but fuck- do it or don't.
No. 1815317
File: 1702759601177.jpeg (150.28 KB, 1200x472, article-image-01_0776e46e.jpeg)
>>1815220congrats on the baby, anon! hope you have a speedy recovery and lots of support from your family.
No. 1815457
>>1815254thanks nona.
>accepting that she raised a failure means she is a failurethis probably holds some weight to it also, she has high opinions of herself so I think she'll spend her entire life making excuses about her failson. he has literally tried to murder both me and my mom multiple times but she doesn't care and still treats him like he's a little delicate snowflake. he hasn't had a violent outburst in like a decade or maybe more but I just avoid and ignore him regardless.
No. 1815477
>>1815445Dunno, pretty sure they have significantly less money taken from them through taxes.
I like not having to worry about health care fees but god damn the amount of money taken from me through taxes is infuriating at times.
No. 1815482
File: 1702765092131.jpg (24.49 KB, 540x360, 360_F_79283203_nTNvEEhoXcPUf6Q…)
Really wish I didn't have such a distorted view of sex and relationships and emotional intimacy in general. Sex repulsion/sexual shame has been hitting really hard and a deep sense of shame over ever being seen in a sexual light by anyone and enjoying it at all. Realizing how bad at communicating I am and probably confuse and irritate everyone around me. Starting to think it really would have been better if I had joined a convent and forgone the rest of human society.
No. 1815505
File: 1702765749789.jpg (17 KB, 400x400, mikey-way-sidekick.jpg)
I accidentally ordered seamless to the wrong restaurant. The driver is having issues finding it now. I hate this so much. I just want my food. pray my fries arent cold
No. 1815605
>>1815496I went through this at an AA meeting anon kek. Just feeling like you don’t belong there and so uncomfortable around all the enbies and junkies who love perpetuating
toxic cycles rather than do anything about it. I am also a crybaby and can’t hide emotions but I think our emotions are just really strongly trying to tell us that we don’t belong there.
No. 1815609
File: 1702768857712.png (626.81 KB, 735x434, drfdredsdssdrf.png)
i have the urge to do something self-destructive that will not be good for my mental health in the long run yayyyyyyyyyy
No. 1815611
>>1815609talk to me
nonny, why don't you go take a shower or something instead
No. 1815630
File: 1702769284291.jpg (23.75 KB, 720x645, cat scream.jpg)
Have one single best friend without falling in love with them challenge (impossible difficulty)
No. 1815636
File: 1702769634069.jpeg (412.78 KB, 828x1071, IMG_7649.jpeg)
Sometimes it feels like I’m perma anxious, like my mind just looks for reasons to be scared or upset and I’m so tired.
I can’t not think and I feel like I don’t understand how people can not freak out and obsess over everything!
I’m not on anything so I’m considering going on an SSRI because I want to get my life back, sometimes it feels like I just want to go back to normal but I’ve been so anxious the last 4 years, I don’t know what normal means.
Noñitas what should I do?
No. 1815646
File: 1702770523825.jpeg (30.05 KB, 192x192, IMG_7105.jpeg)
my stomach is doing jumping jacks and somersaults and i don't understand why. i'll get schizo if i believe it's any type of intuition. i'm seriously freaked out and i can't sleep because of this. i'm cold all over and shaking from anxiousness. i have no idea how to calm down, it's been hours since i've been feeling like this. i can't even recall what might have caused this i'm flipping out right now. i feel so horrible and dreadful i seriously want to puke everywhere just to get it over with
No. 1815667
I'm about to sound super fucking ungrateful, but do not get me any gifts if you have to ask what I want. All I want is thoughtfulness, all I want is effort, asking defeats the entire point for me and I would literally rather have nothing at all.
I LOVE to give gifts, I thoroughly enjoy it, Christmas is a very selfish time for me admittedly because I go way over the top with gift giving. It's the only time of year that I can, and I've gotten really good at it. I know my loved ones so well and I'm so good at getting exactly what they love. And I always explain this to people, how much I love doing it, how it's my favorite thing to do this time of year. I love the picking things out, making lists, purchasing, organizing, all of the time and effort I put into wrapping and bows and etcetc. I make it so clear I do not expect anything back, I do this for fun and my own enjoyment, it would be ridiculous to expect the same amount of effort back and that's not the point for me at all.
BUT, I am such an easy person to get gifts for. I like pink, and yellow, I like flowers, rocks, bugs, wildlife, gardening, art, I have so many hobbies. I love being outside, I love experiences with people, feeding the birds, there are so many cheap and easy things to get for me. I absolutely adore handmade things, gifts of cooked food, thrifted ceramics, I'm so easy to get gifts for. So if you have to come to me of all people, someone who is so not picky and happy with anything, and ask me "Ugh I don't know what to get you, just tell me what you want. Do you just want a giftcard?" don't fucking get me anything. If you can't write me a nice letter in a card and get me literally anything in my favorite color, or bake me some cookies, or get me the same $5 for 5 pair pack of cheap ankle socks I wear all the time, do not bother. If you can't put in even an ounce of thought into getting me something it means nothing to me. I don't know how many expensive gifts I've received over the years that have really just shown no one pays attention to my interests at all. Designer purses in colors I never wear, silver jewelry when all I wear is gold, perfume when everyone should know by now I have bad allergies and strong scents give me a headache and make me so sneezy. It's like no one actually cares to think about me at all
No. 1815669
>>1814924Samefag, I'm back to say today was actually ok. I think today just brought back a lot of bad memories from past birthdays so I freaked out. Some things definitely went very, very wrong but I hung out with loved ones, got some food and drinks and did some Christmas gift shopping so overall alright.
This is my reminder to not be so dramatic because most of the time nothing is as bad as my mind makes me feel.
No. 1815868
File: 1702777125804.gif (119.07 KB, 220x220, 1699222530455.gif)
God fucking damn it I hate living with 6 scrote housemates and only two women and when the scrotes invite their gross scrote friends it's the worst. The other day I heard them bragging about going to Thailand to "find love" and I almost puked. I'm a night owl and it's 2:00 am here and I went to make myself some tea and two scrotes came to the kitchen and started staring at me and they didn't say anything for a while and the friend of my housemate started to just say some dumb shit to me
>ehehehe why are you making tea so late, can't sleep?
>I never had the opportunity to meet you heh heh but I heard that you are sad often. But I don't think it's true hehe…
And when I didn't respond he was still smilling at me in a gross way and looking at me from top to bottom and I felt gross and it was to the point when my housemate told him to leave me alone like two times and they finally left and went outside?? I know that on paper it doesn't look that sketchy and you might think I'm overreacting but it was very uncomfortable for me irl. Fuck I hate living with men so much. I wish it was easier to rent shit in this town. There are days when I fear that one of them will seriously cross my boundries so I'm basically not leaving my room when I'm home, only if I need to take a bath
No. 1815891
>>1815868SIX!?
No way, I couldn't do that. I know it's technically illegal bc discrimination but many of my family members who own bigger properties ONLY rent to girls or ONLY guys. They won't do mixed groups. Otherwise is just weird.
No. 1816023
File: 1702781757692.gif (266.42 KB, 220x275, cat-grin.gif)
>>1815932Same. I really felt like a lot of the world stopped for me in 2012. The internet was still peak and not filled with clout chasters. No tik tok. No insane zoomers controlling and cancelling you for anything they deem offensive. Not nearly as many troons. I really hate this current time line. I want to go back to the late 90s.
No. 1816104
File: 1702785751483.jpeg (85.93 KB, 400x401, IMG_5529.jpeg)
Nonnas what do you do to comfort yourself when you feel this way? Ever since I reached an adult age, sometimes everything feels very far away and foreign, like it's all deteriorating around me. It's all so different. The person I used to be seems to have vacated this body, like it's only a husk. Or a jar of mental problems. My memories and life before adulthood don't even feel like my own anymore. I think everything is just going to get worse from now on.
Isn't it cruel, how you get a taste of how great life can be when you start it, only to realize it was just a demo version and you can't go back? I think everyone is just trying to go back in whatever way they can.
No. 1816105
File: 1702786006096.jpg (86.39 KB, 768x576, cats-hugging-11162010-12-38472…)
>>1816104I wish I could give you a hug, I'm sorry you feel this way
No. 1816121
>>1816106I think that most of us are depressed but because of our global society. A few books I've read i've come to realize despite all of the technology and scientific advancement, we are not living in any golden age. I think truly the best time to be human was in ancient times where civilization was just beginning. Now is a dark age for us and we aren't depressed, we are just reacting to the dystopia we live in.
At least I was born in the late 90s and got to have a good childhood. I think my generation was one of the last to have an idealistic time. Sure I was on computer but it was CDs and then Neopets. Social media was simple just posting fun pictures and browsing with friends. I played outside often too. I don't envy young people of today at all.
No. 1816123
File: 1702788075761.jpg (6.26 MB, 4096x9334, fatbeadyeyedgreasyuglymoobbear…)
I'm going too sperg out. Who the fuck would willingly fuck this ugly fat fuck for his body count to be that high? He looks like he smells like smegma and yeast. The way he waddles over to show off his body count, probably leaking grease on the floor where his obese body goes. Ugly and fat with a bridge troll face. How many of that number was actually consensual? I just can't believe anyone would willingly touch him.
No. 1816127
>>1816121funny because I’m a said young person who grew up on the internet but that made it easier for me, honestly. I always thought if I was born a couple decades earlier I probably would have committed suicide by now otherwise (although tbf I’m a
PoC and gay and have struggled even in current times because of it). finding people I could relate to and who understood made me feel less lonely. And things like video games felt like an escape from the reality of what life in society actually is, dull. I’ve felt very dystopian about the world from a young age, and it definitely wasn’t because of technology. it’s probably more because of the fact we’re kind of just expected to spend like 1/3 of our waking adult lives working, lol, and the time before preparing for that. I don’t really feel like I’m living. And I don’t feel like I’m built for this mentally either.
No. 1816260
>>1816250I thought I had them and was super paranoid and begged for meds but apparently it was 'perleche' because I was drooling in my sleep. I have no idea if I actually have it or not given how common it is and how it is difficult to test for. I'm sorry to hear you have it, that sucks, I'm surprised we don't have better treatment for it or a vaccine or something. If it makes you feel better he really could have tested negative for it, the tests for it aren't very reliable if you don't have active sores.
Have you tried zinc? Zinc is supposed to help slow down the viral replication.
No. 1816269
File: 1702802499813.jpg (404.19 KB, 1500x1188, tumblr_230455d2e8cdf19d5ccb3df…)
The heartbreak I feel whenever a great woman mentions having a boyfriend/husband. It ruins my image of her completely. Not that it should matter to her at all, this whole thing happens just in my brain. Don't feel the same thing when I learn of her hooking up or something, I suppose the lack of emotional connection to a man in that situation helps. It might be because most women I've been around don't date, give their time to men, so it feels like a disappointment when I see charming, interesting women with boyfriends. Giving your love to a man, who will always be undeserving, in my opinion. Just feeling sad because a new friend I made has a boyfriend, I can't feel the same about her anymore.
No. 1816272
>>1816270That was just cruel of him, what a monster.
oh and look into lysine. Hopefully between the lysine, the zinc, the vitamin C and D and the abreva it goes away fast.
No. 1816273
>>1816272Gonna add: this is why I'm so paranoid about kissing. And while cold sores themselves are not a banal experience
kissing is. Like, you're expected to kiss someone well before you sleep with them, even tradthots and moid tradtards tend not to have issues with kissing but that's enough to get you saddled with cold sores. Unfair.
No. 1816288
>>1816282It kills me to think of this the most, the poor girl that has to marry a man like this and that some father out there is willing to do this to his own child.
>>1816287That's a good idea
No. 1816292
i know i shouldn't feel sad because i didn't do anything wrong other than stand up for myself, but this whole situation between myself and a professor of mine at my university kind of depresses me. he's angry with me because i complained about the editor in the class talking shit about me and my work behind my back, because apparently if someone is upset about a person who doesn't know anything about you spreading false rumors and making fun of you because you're "too quiet", then apparently that makes me a terrible individual. i know he's angry only because his goal was to try get me to drop the class. i stayed the course and refused to let them bully me or get a W on my transcripts because again, i did nothing wrong. i told him very politely what i heard and he went on this tirade against me because of it, like i was lying or something. i couldn't even begin to tell you guys all the terrible things this man did to me over the rest of the fall semester but they kept wasting my time, rejecting my ideas over perfectly fine articles, and just treating me like dog shit.
well things came to a head during the final exams. i had to walk out of the class in the middle of the presentations as i saw he didn't have my presentation in the list, didn't inform me, and was acting like he was going to punch me in the face/kick me out for even being there. and i also found out that they had actually stolen one of my ideas for a magazine article and assigned it to another girl. they said this in front of me and had a big laugh about it. and when i left he was laughing and said something like "good riddance" or whatever, it was hard to hear as i was walking down the stairs.
i sent him an email and told him off as professionally as i could for the things he did. i've had to get the board involved in this situation because of him, so i hope they spoke to him and told him to chill out. again, this is all over me having my differences with the editor, and it's starting to make me suspicious that they aren't sleeping together because i've never seen a man go so hard for a woman unless he's getting something out of it. or maybe he's just a cunt, i can't really tell these days. but shit like this is why i hate writing-focused classes, these courses are always so hit and miss. you either meet really talented people who are fun and creative, or like in this situation, bitter snobs who can't take any criticism whatsoever. also, i should have known he was a POS since his introduction to us was how old he was (he's 44-45) and how he's some scottish australian irish white mixture, because that's apparently the most interesting thing about him.
No. 1816341
>>1816333I’m just a
nonnie on the internet but your post has resonated with me. I get how you feel. I’m unfortunately in the same boat as you, and I hope that one day you will find your own ‘tribe’ to hang out with
No. 1816394
File: 1702820631785.jpg (83.91 KB, 564x1100, 5676c258e32fa16d620209a5e16965…)
>Be suffering from anxiety problems
>Be feeling faint and nauseous because there's a heavy situation at work
>Don't sleep, eat like shit, don't complain, don't even vent because I feel like I'm annoying
>Bottle up shit, explode in a panic attack
>Scream for help but also stop people that want to call an ambulance because I'm scared of anything medical related, from doctors to ambulances to white coats and scrubs so even the thought of getting help makes the situation worse and I start to struggle to breathe
>I am now afraid of sleeping alone (house or even in the room) because I'm afraid to have another panic attack while no one can help me cal m down.
I guess I'll die nonnies. Yes I know I need therapy, I just wanted to vent on how shitty is to have both panic attacks and medical phobias.
No. 1816417
File: 1702824013615.jpeg (4.38 MB, 2632x3642, IMG_6302.jpeg)
i honestly wish i was asexual. i'm not even fucking anybody (couldn't even if i wanted to) or overwhelmingly horny or anything i don't even masturbate because it does nothing for me anyway i just feel like i would lead a better life if i couldn't feel anything at all. one less thing to affect me. at one point of my life i was so mentally ill and repressed i was completely inhibited before i was even put on any medication. now that i'm better and stopped repressing as much i'm back to my pervert ways. i could never be a nun or anything close. but on the other hand it does feel good to be back to the way i was i'm just really freaked out by it and i feel, almost, "dirty". maybe all the homophobic spiels i had to endure these past few weeks and months is getting under my skin i know i couldn't ever be out anyway might as well just be free of desire somewhere closed off. you can't die of a lack of sex anyway and i know i won't ever be able to have it anyway, but i'd be living a lie. i wish i could just extract this out of my body. it's less that i am ashamed and more due to the fact that i am convinced that it's useless of me to have these thoughts and feelings, and that my life would probably be better and easier without them. just venting though i don't know how much i really mean all of this but yeah
No. 1816423
>>1816269i feel the same
nonnie. I feel like I’m being a bitter lesbian though kek (technically bi but mostly lesbian). on top of that most women put up with so much moid shit. It’s like “have some self worth”, you know?
No. 1816430
>>1816427ty
nonnyYeah it helps but even if I know that panic never killed and has no long term effects, the fainting sensations scare me a lot…and I also hate attention, one time I had to suppress one in the bus and a nice lady asked me if I needed help, I told her no but I felt so bad for her, worrying about me.
I wish I could rationalize panic attacks thinking that it will go away but it's scary, I actually feel like dying and I don't want to leave behind my beloved nigel and my mother…that would be the worst, I want to be healthy… I need to let this shit out but no money for regular appointments, maybe I should seek some benefits from psychologists, since my country allows them
No. 1816448
>>1816439This isn’t even about them being white women nonna, he just clearly is a scrote who isn’t over his exes or atleast one of them and you’re doing yourself a disservice by being with him. Good that you realize he isn’t a catch visually nor is he clearly a catch emotionally.
To make you feel better most people do not have a 1/1 racial dating pool where they have dated all races equally and its very common to have mostly dated within your own race, I would be more worried if he had a long streak of asian women and you were just one of many.
Tldr not a race thing, your moid is just emotionally cheating on you and simping over his exes.
No. 1816449
>>1816448Why are men like this? He said in his friends group chat this particular ex was his "biggest regret", and he said if he were single again and she reached out, he'd "drive for 20 hours straight just to hold her tight, even if there wasn't any sex." What gets me is white men never seem to feel this passionately or strongly about
woc, they reserve their adoration, passion and almost worship for women of their own race. It feels like I'll never be the object of that depth of affection and love.
No. 1816466
>>1816449I’ve seen
woc be the “true” loves aka the one that got away for plenty of white men. Its just once again statistics, you’re already more likely to date within your own race so the likelihood of the “one who got away” being white is gonna be more common for a white man. Interracial dating can bring alot of insecurities to the table if you’re self conscious over your or your partners race, but what you’re facing is average scrote emotional cheating, race be damned and I’ll tell you right now he would cheat on you with his ex if he had the chance. The “if I was single” is to cover his bases and not come across as a complete monster.
No. 1816475
>>1816469NTA but I’ve seen men literally want their fat meth head ex over their Stacy gf. The one that got away is just the one that broke up with them and broke their fantasy. Men do this shit and then cry over their current gf leaving as she’s the one that got away now. It gives them a reason to A be sexual degens who still wank it to their ex like they do porn. B compare the new girl to ex girl to make her insecure and neg her down. C use it as a emotional justification for being emotionally constipated and not having open communication and trust with new girl because girl before hurt me so bad!!
Interracial relationships are very hard though and even in the same country can come with a lot of cultural differences and outside opinions that ime put a lot of stress on the relationship just to acknowledge your struggle. I’m sorry anon you deserve better than this creep.
No. 1816494
File: 1702830387079.jpg (74.92 KB, 828x765, KC12.JPG)
>be me
>KHHV
>somehow get herpes
No. 1816498
>>1816466>emotional cheatingCan someone explain this to me? is it common for moids to do this? Why do they do it and does it go beyond just sexual stuff?
What's weird to me is so many moids say they 'hate sluts' but they actually seem to really like women who are wild partying types who have had a lot of partners before. Like, that's actually their revealed preference on some level.
No. 1816500
>>1816498because moids want what they can't have. many of them idolize ex-gfs who left them or women who wouldn't give them the time of day, and then ruin any good relationship obsessing over a woman who isn't even there.
sadly it's usually either those types or sour grapes moids who act virulent about their exes, and they're not healthy either because they'll take their butthurt fury out on you. it's hard (impossible?) to find a moid who has a healthy outlook on exes or women in general. it's what happens when moids can't out-think their evolutionary drive to pursue women (especially ones who aren't interested in his pathetic ass)
No. 1816501
>>1816498>is it common for moids to do this?very
it's just narcissism and using people as validation machines, all moids do this the moment their current validation machine isn't giving him enough tingles for whatever reason
No. 1816528
File: 1702832356491.jpeg (52.1 KB, 612x422, Image.jpeg)
i know a lot of people say this but for the first time in my life, i realize how much i dislike the holidays because i don't have a family to spend it with. like it's just me, my mom, and my grandfather right now. i'm estranged from most of my family for various reasons, haven't spoken to my narc dad in nearly a decade, and cut off my aunt and cousin for being abusive to me.
i haven't been deeply depressed about it, thankfully, but every now and then when i'm sitting in my room or just walking around the city, i get a slight pang in my chest because i will think about people and pets i've lost over the years. i have so, so much regret because i can't go back in time and tell them how much i love them. i wish i could apologize to some family i've lost because i feel like i never appreciated the time we had together and i have no clue if we will ever meet again in another life. i really wish i could hold my old childhood pets again like my dog. i just want to squeeze them close and pet them and play with them and tell them i'm sorry that we were separated. like my shitty cousin ending up taking all our cats when we moved out to renovate one of our homes so she could go live in the mountains with her aunt, and a lot of them have started passing over the last few years cause they don't really take good care of them.
plus i feel sad because my grandma died from cancer when she was 73, and i regret not being there when she died (even though she didn't want me to see her in her last moments). i have a lot of mixed emotions about her now that i'm older, mainly because she had a lot of weird beliefs about women because her own mother was kind of a mess. she also had a lot of emotional baggage she never dealt with because of childhood trauma, but she was still my friend and i've never met anyone who i feel close to the same way i did her. we were alike in so, so many ways and i realize i compare a lot of my friendships to my relationship with her and they just never measure up in terms of intensity.
i'm living the life i know she wanted to have too, and it's sad because a part of me thinks in some way she sacrificed so much for me to be where i am today, even though she focused a lot of her efforts on trying to rehab my dumb ass cousin who ended up turning into a loser drug addict. plus when i opened up to some people about how i was feeling and how this is the first holiday season that's kind of gotten me down, i found out one of the moids went behind my back and was claiming i was making things up for attention because apparently i don't look like someone who has had a hard life. my friends cussed him out about this, but this is one of the reasons why i don't tell my business to people.
so for the anons who have good, loving families, decent childhood memories, and not a lot of emotional trauma, please cherish them. you have no idea how precious these things are until they're gone.
No. 1816543
File: 1702833272546.jpeg (53.48 KB, 495x619, IMG_1145.jpeg)
STOP INVITING YOUR BOYFRIENDS TO GIRLS HANG OUT. ITS ANNOYING. I HAVE A BF AND HE BARELY TAGS ALONG UNLESS ITS A MIXED OR A COUPLE'S DINNER DATE.
I am really sorry but it's so fucking annoying, we're almost 30.
No. 1816548
File: 1702833381762.png (139.11 KB, 600x315, myfacern.png)
I recently lost feeling in the right side of my face and my eye/brow is starting to droop and I can't move the side of my lower lip at all. Already sucks because it's harder to talk, but I now also have a seriously lopsided retard smile and I look like I'm constantly doing the Dreamworks brow cock. It makes me look like I have an attitude problem and I hate it. Kinda scared someone's going to punch me in my now very smug-looking face.
No. 1816550
>>1816518This notion that all women are innocent
victims and are incapable of being manipulative and dangerous is just disingenuous and demeaning
No. 1816575
>>1816509My ex stalks me 10 years later and his current gf
with the child they have created doesnt care.
Even after several screenshots and concerned messages from me, she ignores it. He has made me 20 playlists and directly sent them from his account, and she doesnt care. Ive told him and her I dont want to be bothered anymore. Ive blocked him several times. He hust makes a new account and repeats.
It blows my mind she continues to choose to raise a girl with him. Like, where is her self worth? I warned him I would be moving forward with a restraining order.
No. 1816577
>>1816543OK no for real. I just gotta get this out of my system, sorry to springboard off your post. My friend group is all late 20s so it's not like it's teens or a 21 year old acting like this. My best friend was in an
abusive relationship with a cheating narcissistic scrote and she finally left him after five years. She immediately got into a relationship with an ugly Nigel that's actually treating her really well and I was so happy for her that I tried to give her grace that she suddenly invited him to every girls hang and only wanted to hang out with him, cause I've been in her shoes before(even though when I had a Nigel I still had one on one hangs with her and she'd still criticize him for taking her time with me) . But now they've been dating for over 6 months and it feels like at that point as an adult woman you need to go back to being a good friend. I'll make plans and she'll invite him without asking me and they'll spend the entire time whispering conversations to each other that I'm not included in, and doing such intense pda that people in public will make disgusted faces. They'll wander off without me and I'll have to meet up with them 20 minutes later at my own plans. Theyll walk ahead of me instead of beside me now, and every 2 minutes he'll loudly slap her ass. I'll turn to ask her what she thinks about something as a Christmas gift and he'll be literally tickling her pussy in public. It's disgusting and I don't want to lose my best friend I've had for my entire 20s, especially not when she's finally happy, but the difference in the way she's treating me makes me feel like I was just a replacement moid to her, giving her the affection she wasn't getting from her ex. I mean I'm almost 30, these are friendship problems 16 year Olds with their first boyfriend are supposed to have. When I had a miscarriage and her scrote cheated on her I slapped a diaper on to go over and be there for her, but now when I tell her I'm still struggling with the miscarriage and ask to hang out, she invites new moid without telling me and is shocked I don't want to talk about it in front of him. Sorry for the rant nonnies, just feelsbadman.jpg
No. 1816586
>>1816571Thanks nonna! It'd be hilarious if I didn't look like such a smug asshole. My face was not made for looking sassy.
>>1816578Oh, I don't think so? I wasn't in dumbass shit last night. I hope that nonna is okay though!
No. 1816611
>>1816423Maybe I'm bitter too? Never thought about it like that, I've never wanted to be with someone so I never imagined it'd be that. But yes, the idea of a charming, interesting woman being with a… man. Loving him, caring for him, keeping him in her thoughts, things like remembering birthdays, compromising etc. I just don't like it, she doesn't feel the same to me anymore. Like.. that's a scrote you're giving your heart to…
>>1816582That is not the reason, I don't think so. I don't care a bit if it's having sex with men, but it's a relationship that just doesn't sit well with me.
No. 1816624
>>1816585I have a letter to send next time he does it that will be served to him by a courier he is forced to sign for. After that I will file charges.
I am at a loss that his girlfriend stonewalls me
every time I reach out for help. I send polite messages with proof and she just ignores me.
Ive even sent her a list of local therapists/support groups that handle obsession issues, for her to book for him.
I really dont get it, at all. Its exhausting and hes absolutely insane.
No. 1816625
>>1816602Anon your bestie sounds like a loser and I am sorry it’s taken you this long to realize but all the drama with her
abusive ex scrote probably hid her trash adult traits and you’re only seeing them now. Leave her alone to get kitty diddled in public by her ugly scrote and focus your time on people who actually care about you and not simply the attention you give them. This type of behavior as an adult is a glaring red flag and the type of shit you want to avoid in close friends (or lovers), since she was a doormat for so long she’s also probably going from one extreme to the other because she doesn’t understand what a middle ground is and these people are quite frankly the worst to have around when you’re settling into healthy adulthood because they’re gonna be 5-10yrs behind you in emotional development at all times. I’m not say you should completely cut her off but you need to accept that shes not your bestie anymore and if she wants to see you she needs to stop bringing her moid unprompted or you will simply leave.
No. 1816644
File: 1702836009148.gif (177.95 KB, 350x298, crying from happiness.gif)
>>1816395thank you so much. had a shower and the vibe helped though it felt really odd to use it this way haha. Helped relax the muscles too which I cannot believe I don't really think about. Thank you, thank you
No. 1816667
File: 1702836730960.jpg (25.71 KB, 563x395, e50968c05a36b937b2335905915760…)
My boyfriend's grandmother is very ill in hospital right now and is probably going to pass away soon and all of his side of the family are there visiting her.
I didn't go along to visit purely because I thought it was a thing for their side of the family, I've also never met his grandma before so I figured it would be very out of place and awkward for me being there. I didn't go purely because I didn't want to step on any toes like that but I will be supporting him when he comes home from the hospital.
But now I've heard that his family were quite annoyed that I didn't go. I personally wouldn't want my bf there for one of my family member's funeral or seeing them in hospital if he didn't know them well/know them at all because it would be awkward for him. I don't even know what I've done wrong here to be honest, or maybe this is just another social etiquette thing I'm not understanding.
No. 1816671
>>1816667Why dont you reach out to one of his family members? Ask how grandma is, how they are, and what you can do. Then explain that you were trying not to overstep at the hospital.
Just show you care and let them talk; thats alot of emotion to process and knowing you are there to support will help, and clear the air.
No. 1816692
>>1816488oh jeez, Im sorry nona, I hope you can save up and gain independence soon
>>1816496its my own account but theyre signed into it and can move funds and check what i bought. they have the same set up with my brothers too, last time i checked. mom only drained my acc once and purely to try to manipulate me into taking her calls again - she didnt spend any of it and my dad told her to put it back, which she did - but ngl after they both coerced me into cosmetic surgery a few years back by breaking me down for 2 months etc etc, i just want to stop giving a fuck about them. i kinda want to force-sign out of all my bank accounts and change passwords but my dad's already threatened to disown me before for not merging lanes like he wanted me to, so it would just add more fuel to the fire
No. 1816812
File: 1702840127761.gif (1.78 MB, 498x498, 紫咲シオン-ホロライブ.gif)
>another normal day on lolcow.farm
No. 1816816
>>1816743I agree. I do feel like we are way more sympathetic to male sob stories than female pain. This is kind of retarded, but you can see this in how female characters versus male characters are treated. Where she is a dramatic harpy mary sue, he's a cool stoic with a tragic past. Empathy is what makes us human. It's genuinely important not to lose it. No greater tragedy than giving up the core essential of humanity.
>>1816803That's likely not happening to a moid.
No. 1816822
>>1816743you don't need to be a sociopath, you just need to stop being a bleeding heart for scrotes. i've called women weak for being "empathetic" too, but it's always in reference to women who continue to give men the benefit of the doubt.
many women will outright be told by a man "i think women are lesser (or something similar)" and rather than cut him out, they'll either a.) laugh it off or b.) yell him down, then continue to interact because they think he now understands them. he very well may, but he's a male so he won't change his behavior.
also:
>Our empathy per se isn't some awful thing. It's what makes us more human than them.men are more than capable of empathy! i hate this idea that they aren't. the think pieces mras wrote about johnny depp during the trial nonsense should prove that. they just don't care enough about you (a female) to extend or display their empathy
No. 1816872
>>1816843The only ethical way to consume porn is to watch hentai or read fanfics but those are often so weird I just feel I'd just feel I'm enabling some psycho
>But muh OnlyFans, girlboss get it doneThey regularly clear out apartment blocks full of trafficked women in Eastern Europe forced into that. The head of the site is some Andrew Tate creep.
What we really need is to just ban porn and get out and meet each other. That or look at some attractive rocks or wood or something.
No. 1816950
File: 1702843325420.jpg (54.16 KB, 1024x681, border-collie-min-1024x681.jpg)
I think I'm going insane. Six months ago I got evicted. My sister offered to let my move in with her and we get along well and it's super great. We get along but it's her dog.
> The dog will not acknowledge me. I call his name and he does nothing.
> He never snaps at me just kinda apathetic when I'm around.
> I feed the dog sometimes and he takes the food and walks away. With my sister or her BF he eats in front of them and wags his tail.
> He scratches my door sometimes, I let him in, he has a sniff then walks out. Doesn't acknowledge me at all.
> I throw his ball when we are at the park. He brings it back for my sister or her BF but not me.
> I've walked him a lot of times and he seems excited to be let out but when we come back it's all apathy. With my sister or her BF he's bouncing.
BF isn't living with us btw. They've only been dating for like three months. I am putting way too much thought into this dog but like my sister's BF, our mam and our brother who are around a lot less than me he loves and is super happy with. With me he just doesn't care. My brother lived her before and the dog was great with him. How has this dog got such a hold on me? Pic related he looks like that. This is stupid.
No. 1817035
File: 1702845602890.jpg (100.54 KB, 692x1024, 3cacd2b2071d3a9c094c6abaddcadb…)
>>1816975BF hasn't lived with the dog and brother hasn't lived with him as long as I have so I think it's not that.
>>1816962Probably this. I just feel super emotionally radioactive since I had to leave the city. He can smell the negativity off me.
If the dog can get it off me other people probably can too. Need to work on myself and be more positive.
No. 1817166
File: 1702850689252.jpg (57.13 KB, 800x520, new-border-collie-puppy.jpg)
>>1817126Yeah I've heard they are way up there with the most smartest breeds of dogs or general animals. If you don't keep giving them activates to do they will think themselves in anxiety. Gonna try act super cool around him and maybe drop a rubix cube or something. I'm half joking but maybe if I stimulate him rather than be part of the furniture I'll get on with him more.
No. 1817199
>>1817194I bet you are cute
nonnie. Are you a bit GNC? Some men don't like that since it isn't stereotypical for their monkey brains
No. 1817218
>>1817214Kek the chris-chan comparison, I really hoped it's not the same case here
>maybe you're not whiny/childish/loud enough? I feel like it would make me look pathetic instead so I don't act like that. I'm also a bit autistic so I genuinely don't know how to behave like that in a manner that doesn't disturb everyone around me
No. 1817246
File: 1702854513063.jpg (25.79 KB, 470x349, 0c52bbeafe8cfbc04cb2dd3c3e4992…)
I'm jealous of my friends who are in long term relationships. We're in our late 20's and I'm the only one who's single and all the "good men" are taken past a certain age. I just want someone to love and care about me and have someone to build a life/home with…I miss being held, feeling safe and laying my head on someone's chest. I have lots of things going for me and people tell me that I'm pretty, interesting and smart but I don't belive them at this point because why else would I still be single. All I need is mutual attraction and care..
No. 1817269
>>1817255Been there, done that. I don't want a guy who plays vidya all day and is only interested in a situationship. Most young guys aren't ready to settle down.
>>1817257I'm sorry
nonny! But I agree about being truly in love. I don't "need" a man, I can support myself and am independent but there's just nothing that can fill the void of wanting companionship and romance. It's just something different when you have someone to come home to.
No. 1817289
>>1817246I have this fear too,
nonnie. I'm in almost my mid 20's and I feel like I have to be fast, dregs are already hitting on me so much too. Guess that the only option is to wait for some of those good guys to get widowed kek.
No. 1817298
File: 1702855835043.jpg (43.39 KB, 590x673, 8815b706ee6b161970880d0535c29e…)
I made the mistake of speaking to my mother again. I hope she realizes that if not wanting to put up with her bullshit makes me like my father, then literally everyone who knows her is like my father.
No. 1817329
>>1817302>there's a lot of dregs that end up in long term things because women hate themselvesAlso this, and I think it's worsening the dating situation tbh since not accepting dreg bevahior is frowned upon and it lowers the chances of finding a decent guy. Because of most women hating themselves, there is no incentive for moids to strive to be better people.
Where I live, most of the decent moids are taken by the age of 26 at most and I feel in a race against time which will be futile in my case…
No. 1817409
I'm frustrated with my younger self who didn't understand the value of being a "normie", when being a normal, healthy, well balanced individual is the ideal way to live life. I stunted my own growth and psychologically gave up by withdrawing into my mind. I'm a midwit, and lived in a shoebox apartment with my narcissistic mom and oafishly stupid and selfish father for the past 22 years of my life. It's easy to dislike my father because of all the outright heinous stuff that he did, but my mom being a narcissist is just way worse. I love her, but now that I'm 22 and can see her through the lens of an adult, she's scary to look at. It almost seems unhinged, or like that of a malevolent or attention seeking child. I'm so scared of going against her too. I hate some parts of her, but I'm also reliant on her. I'm going to try to move out soon and I know she'll go crazy because she wants me close by to control. I wish I didn't have to do this to my parents, that we had normal boundaries and respect between one another, but I feel like if I don't do anything now, I'll lose my identity.
No. 1817455
File: 1702863221173.jpg (27.31 KB, 563x425, calico.jpg)
feeling very lonely today. i'm coming to terms with how i don't have that many people in my life outside of immediate family and my one IRL friend. i think a lot of it is that i don't put enough effort into my relationships anymore and also don't care enough to maintain them since i know i'll be moving after i graduate college. even outside of that, me having friends and then losing them has been kind of a reoccurring theme for me for the last 7ish years so i should probably seek therapy after the new year starts. i usually am fine with not having too many people and doing things on my own but on some days (like today) it really catches up to me
No. 1817531
>>1817246tough situation
>>1817269overall my experienced dating younger have been better than older but I get your hesitation
No. 1817592
>>1817455do you think a club or volunteering or some sport or activity might help you? if you have time?
my boyfriend lives across the country and i do classes online and i just quit my part time job for freelancing work. though similarly im used to being alone and friendless i understand how hard it can be some days. my plan is to volunteer one day a week and do ballet another day of the week to try and combat this and be around people more. would this help you? or you want specific help with the personal friendship maintaining?
No. 1817594
File: 1702867227309.png (78.91 KB, 387x458, Untitled60_20231217213736.png)
Reeeeeee why does my art such reeeeee why don't I understand rendering or lighting or anatomy reeeee stuck in eternal shit sketch stage and can never live my fujoshi dreams of drawing hot men because I use ibispaint and all real artfags use procreate reeeeeeee
No. 1817597
>>1811981I'm working a fairly easy job , wrangling sped children in elementary school. The pay is alright and I feel a bit of ease finally having an income. But I'm still so unhappy with life. Its lonely everyday. All the other employees have worked there longer and are better friends.
I go home and just sit in my head because I'm either too exhausted or too depressed to do anything productive.
I've been making good strides to pull myself out of this NEET hole this year but it doesn't feel like enough. Everyday feels so pointless. I'm wondering when will I finally be happy. I only feel a bit happy when I'm actually useful to someone. I think I need to drop everything and just build up marketable skills like a machine.
No. 1817602
File: 1702867713551.gif (1.57 MB, 498x498, 1661523137081.gif)
tomorrow is my little dogs 15th birthday so im baking a special cake for him and i even got candles. but also its just me at home to celebrate and i feel like its going to be depressing. im already overthinking and getting emotional about it.
No. 1817727
>>1817698Don’t let him get away with making himself the
victim when you brought up an issue kek that’s your classic moid tactic to get away without changing behavior and make you feel bad for voicing boundaries. He’s not worth it if he can’t even stop using a gif of all things to make you feel more comfortable. Think of the shit he’s going to pull in the future if he can’t even do this one thing you’ve said is hurtful to you. Ffs there’s like billions of other possible gifs to use kek
No. 1817868
>>1817865honestly? defending the shit treatment of another girl. the way he didn't think saying bad things about someone else was bad if they didn't find out. that was definitely the last straw, realizing he's a terrible person and a coward as well
also I think taking psychedelics with him one last time helped, it's like it un-brainwashed me and made me see him as he really is. immediately upon coming down he was talking shit about someone and it just disgusted me a lot.
No. 1817882
>>1817857I had a friend like that, basically treated me as an asset, was nice to me when he needed something, eventually he hooked up with this girl I was befriending, I randomly introduced them to each other but I didn't think anything would come out of it because he's kinda ugly. then they started dating then living together and eventually he hit her and they broke up. from our friend group (we used to call it party lol so fucking cringe), literally EVERYONE knew why they broke up except for me because I was the token girl there. I was a dumb nlog so I blamed her and while I was blaming her and badmouthing this woman to these men who knew why they broke up, they also blamed her and kept blaming on feminism and kept shitting on her and all the things she liked. I feel so dirty even nowadays because of it, and it's been over a decade. later the guy admitted to me why they broke up and I felt so fucking dumb and gross. they knew I would shit on him and defend her if I knew but they wanted to keep me around as an asset because I was dumb and threw money around to hang out with them so I often paid for stuff because they were all broke and unemployed. I cut them all off my life eventually, not immediately because I'm fucking retarded. I had hopes he would improve as a human being but never did, none of those guys did, their antics with women only got worse and their ego struggles with each other only got more defined. I'm pretty sure those guys didn't even like each other either, they were always arguing about something and someone had to be the right person. the same guy who hit his exgf, also knocked up a girl and told me he wasn't going to participate in anything because "her family didn't want me to". like bro. it's your fucking child, at least pay child support. I knew at that moment there was no going back and he was irredeemable trash so I ghosted them all.
I feel terrible for the way I treated her. I bet she browses here because she was into imageboards and was an ana-chan though so it's not like she is a perfect human being. but miles better than any of those scrotes I used to hang out with. it sucks how it happened but at least I learned to always prioritize my female friends and never get too close to scrotes again. they will never treat women as their equal peers.
No. 1817883
>>1817882godspeed nona, in the end it was a blessing for us both to learn the hard way that male "friends" are worthless. a shame that they get away with ruining other women though, these scrotes always cause so much collateral damage
>because he's kinda ugly. same with the guy I was talking about. the ugly ones are the worst for some reason kek
No. 1817897
>look cute and proportional in the mirror, people tell me I'm pretty, some even called me beautiful
>ugly tranny potato face on phone camera, both selfie mode and back camera; huge nose, chin and jaw too small, small deflated lips, unnaturally wide set eyes
I want to kill myself, I will never have any photos of myself. It makes me sad because when I get old I will never know how I looked like in my 20s, I will forget it, and K will have no photos to show to my grandkids. Is it worth to invest in an actual camera, will my face look better? I'm afraid I will only waste money and I'm that ugly irl, and the mirror just makes me look better and more symmetrical and proportional and the people keep me delulu out of pity
No. 1818007
File: 1702901385608.jpg (238.61 KB, 1920x1200, 9730103702_153271.jpg)
Is it just hard to meet new people when you're 20+ ? Are people less social since covid happened ? Am I the problem ?
I've been meeting some new people at uni and making an effort to come up to them, ask about them, and it always naturally comes down to "we should grab a drink/meet sometimes". I try to let them say it first so I don't feel like they just agreed to be polite. Nonetheless, after texting, sending an email or whatever I get ghosted. Then see them in class, they apologize but don't follow up anyway. I will naturally send my notes from class, ressources regarding their topic of research, articles that we could read and discuss later, or anything that can help someone I meet in their studies because I feel like our uni is very individualistic and lacks solidarity between students. I feel like I did this kind of things to 10-15 people, like once or twice each. I 90% of the time never receive an answer, a simple thank you or whatever - I don't do this to receivre gratitude, but it just seems like a normal thing to do and doesn't take more than a minute ? How am I supposed to connect with anyone if they cannot even make that simple effort ? I'm starting to believe that I'm doing something wrong or that people just don't like me. I have friends and don't need more but I'd like to exchange with people in my field of study, give support to new students and maybe organize group projects to stay motivated. The researching world can be so alienating, and everyone I've talked to about this agrees, gets excited with me when talking about social projects, than drops everything and can't even meet for a drink. Maintaining old relationships is even harder and I'm just tired of pulling all the weight in most of my relationships. I have so much love to give and don't want to waste it.
No. 1818032
>>1818022Good luck for the interview
nonnie! I’m sure you will do great!
No. 1818064
>>1818050I feel pretty powerful when I've convinced my nigel to let me up a buttplug in his ass, stick him in a cock cage and make him think I'll let him cum only to snatch it away and add 3 more days to him wearing it.
Then I get him to eat me out and bully him over being pathetic.
The fact when we were first talking he told me hes not interested in any of that stuff and knowing I've manipulated him into doing it gives me a deep sense of satisfaction.
The fact if it were to get out hes like this in his industry he would lose opportunities and social standing makes it that much more delicious.
Writing this out seems super larpy but I promise I'm not lol.
I'm not even really into being dominant, its the fact I've made him do it thats the hot part. Stupid nigel.
I wonder how far I can push it.
No. 1818080
>>1818075Its fun lol, he works and cleans up while I've been neet for the last 2 years.
He gives me money for my hobbies and interests.
I'm starting a new job so I can save to buy a house.
I've enjoyed the last 2 years focusing on my interests, I wouldnt have had as much time to do it if I were working
No. 1818083
>>1818064Ntayrt it’s cool that you enjoy femdom stuff but I think for most women that would be pretty performative. I guess the bare minimum is for guys to at least go down on women but it’s not nearly as normalized as blowjobs where general consensus is men should literally leave partners who don’t blow them because it’s “
abusive and withholding.” Women simply aren’t able to demand sexual service the way men are because it isn’t baked into social culture the same. We can individually change things but it’ll never be on the level as the entitlement and expectations men have in terms of sex.
No. 1818128
>>1818126>so my bf and his friends all have watch parties and play games together and then theres me off to the side in my house alone folding laundryMessage him right now and ask to be added right now.
Thats pathetic.
Do you want me to add him to see if he will cheat on you?
No. 1818144
>>1818133not to make you feel bad nona but you never really
know theyre loyal.
No. 1818153
File: 1702915275889.png (1.79 MB, 1920x1080, IMG_6134.png)
I’m so tired of thinking I look cute (or at least okay) in the mirror and then seeing a photo or another mirror outside my house and looking like an absolute butt ugly gnome.
I’m 33 for fucks sake. Am I ever going to not feel like shit about myself or am I just fucked for life?
No. 1818234
My friend predicted his therapy probably wasn't gonna go well, and that he'd hit me up within a year. She's right; he dm'd me a few days ago, and ik that's going against whatever his therapist told him. He's also been saying/doing things that make me think he's still unhappy (but is paying hundreds of dollars for therapy now). My therapist told me to be careful and not get involved in w/e agenda he has, so I'm following that advice. Even so, I'm so curious about what's going on in his head.
We have to coexist in this group chat, and I don't want drama so I'm just going w/ the flow and minding my own business. I really was hoping his individual + marriage therapy would help him find happiness, but I guess he's still miserable. I doubt he'll ever leave his wife, though. From what I learned, they're just fundamentally incompatible intimacy-wise but have been together for too long. Even so, I guess he'll just keep coping by throwing money at his problems like he told me he's been doing for the past decade. I know divorce comes with its own issues, but surely that's preferable to remaining in a relationship where you're still lying every day. I'll never understand men.
No. 1818251
Trauma took away my teenage years because I was focused on surviving (manifesting testicular cancer to moids who abuse teens, I want them to painfully die) and I felt responsible for keeping my mom happy because her boyfriend was a piece of shit and she always said "at least I have you."
I don't blame her for feeling like this but the situation as a whole took a large blow to my development and now that I'm almost 30 and we're better, not only I'm ridden with various ptsd symptoms but I feel I'm stunted socially. Or maybe I'm autistic, idk.
My friends are nice, I know they love me but now that I'm an adult, I feel like a teen. They're talking about living with their nigels, marrying them while me and my nigel still go to McDonald's sometimes (he's the same age as me if that counts but he's more mature…I guess), we go to parks, watch cartoons, he buys me cute things, we go to the arcade and stuff mainly associated with teens.
We have a job and are financially stable, no kids and our work hours are matching so we have the same free time and a bit of money, but I'm reviving my teen years. I know, you can be an adult and enjoy childish things but I'm doing it because I feel robbed of my teenage years and have to catch up. I want to talk about anime sometimes and my friends are all like about their relationships, "adult" problems and such and I don't want to attend spaces with people way younger than me. I know I am an adult and I can pay rent and do adult shit out of surviving mechanism but sometimes I just want to lie on the floor and kick my feets at tv shows, wear makeup for fun, listen to fun music…It's a weird feeling to describe and I know this post will sound like gibberish but I have no idea how to explain this weird feeling..
No. 1818291
>>1818238Same thing on mercari. I heard of zoomers leaving you a bad review if you item isnt shipped out in 24hrs, despite the site saying it gives us 3 days to ship out.
I had a little shit buyer harass me on mercari because supposedly his $8 game didnt work, even though I took pictures and tested the game twice before shipping out. he gave me a 1 star, then demanded a refund. It was the first time ever mercari sided with me and removed the rating.
I've also had someone waste my time, and ask me questions after buying the item from me, despite me having "ASK QUESTIONS BEFORE BUYING" on my profile and descriptions.
No. 1818311
File: 1702924209016.jpeg (63.51 KB, 404x410, 1647313195235.jpeg)
My sister helped me out on a coding project, and now my Professor is accusing me of using AI because "its beyond what we learned in class" and I didn't cite the resources I used. I USED FUCKING YOUTUBE AND CHATGPT LIKE YOU TOLD US TO MAKE AN ACCOUNT FOR, I NEVER CITED ANY RESOURCES BEFORE IN ALL THE PROJECTS I SUBMITTED. THE EMAIL WAS SENT YESTERDAY TELLING ME I HAVE TO "MEET WITH HER TO EXPLAIN THE CODE". I COULDN'T EXPLAIN WHAT I HAD FOR BREAKFAST YESTERDAY!!!!! BITCH I WAS LOOKING ALL OVER THE HOUSE FOR THE KITTEN WE LOST WHICH ENDED UP SLEEPING AT THE BACK OF A DRAWER. I thought I was finally done with this bs class. Grades are due today so I guess I'll be failing all my classes this semester and wasting almost $3000 dollars of my parents money because I fucked up everything by being a paranoiac + OCD + agoraphobic combo of a person. The fuck do I do know when grades are final today and semester officialy ends tomorrow???
No. 1818324
>ate a bunch of shit earlier like 1/2 a muffin, coffee and a cookie>stomach has zero reaction >ate two slices of deli ham on a piece of bread with mustard >stomach immediately goes berserk Whyyyy
>>1818291I mostly have had good experience with Mercari except for one person that tried to buy an item in retaliation to me telling them I wasn’t haggling + it was reserved to someone else. Just to waste my time.
No. 1818331
>>1818273>>1818281>>1818291they have a "im the customer so im always right" mentality, they're so entitled and cant fathom that this isnt most peoples' day job
a few weeks ago some german teen fuckboy kept sending me curt obnoxious messages demanding that i offer international shipping on a vintage womens designer shirt i had listed for $75
i gave him a polite 'oh im so sorry i dont do international shipping' at first and when he persisted i explained to him that i can just chuck my domestic packages in the post box right outside my home, but to mail something internationally i have to spend 15 minutes each way during my workday driving to the post office waiting in line and arranging the customs forms and shit and hoping it doesnt get lost and then depop holds onto my money until the item is delivered across the world which who knows when that will be, so i don't do that for items less than $200. obv im a regard for not just blocking him instantly but honestly if he really wanted the shirt he could have offered to pay me more for it and I'd have been happy to work with him on it
entitled little bitch sent me a minimum of 2-3 more messages along the lines of "this is unbelievable. this is so unprofessional. im even willing to pay for shipping" (like of course you'd need to pay for shipping on an item you bought, idk why he's bringing this up as though it'd be some incredible favor to me)
anyway i sold the shirt to some girl the next day and i put a nice handwritten postcard and some stickers in there for her
No. 1818340
File: 1702925644662.png (57.76 KB, 127x275, 60DC2611-9C2D-4306-8F60-984080…)
Trying to explain a break up that happened because the other person hates themselves is so frustrating, especially as a woman. Everyone dismisses you and says you’re delusional and misread the situation but I definitely didn’t, especially with the context of knowing him for several years. People say you can’t love someone if you don’t love yourself but then apparently I wasn’t good enough for him because I didn’t fix him… despite his words AND actions being the exact opposite of ‘not that into you’. He just genuinely hates himself and couldn’t handle someone actually giving too shits and showing up for him. He still has a lot of blame for being an enabler but when all of his “closest” relationships are either incredibly shallow or him saving emotionally unstable wrecks every time they shave a crisis it’s pretty obvious he doesn’t feel comfortable receiving genuine affection. His own father can’t remember his birthday yet he still makes excuses and says he’s a good dad. He drops everything to help people he doesn’t even like because he’s been so brainwashed by his shit parents. Maybe it’s just because I’ve also completely rejected affection before when it was all I wanted but I am just so sick of being on the receiving end of broken people’s issues while they go and take the easy route of surrounding themselves with things that keep the miserable.
No. 1818358
>>1818340I totally get you
nonny! I'm so sick of those emotionally distant men though. I just got out of something with someone who pursued me heavily first just for him to shut me out once things got intimate. I'm tired.
No. 1818368
Whenever I complain about something that happened or I say I'm not feeling well emotionally, my mom will always bring up something similar that's happened to her. Like I told her about something that happened at work that really upset me and she started talking about how stuff like that always happens at her job too. Or when I spoke about being depressed, she'll talk about how she struggles with it too. I pointed it out to her and told her that sometimes when I complain about things I just want her to listen. I hope she starts doing that more, but man sometimes the stuff she says really isn't helpful. Like she said she tries to tell me these things because "I just don't want you to be very upset over it. I want to help you get over it." Well making the conversation about you or telling me to get over it (even if well-intentioned) isn't going to help me feel less upset! Even when I was trying to tell her that I just need her to listen when I'm upset, the conversation goes back to her feelings. She feels upset when I tell her I'm upset, so that's why she does whatever she can to try to make me feel better (instead of just listen to me).
I used to not open up with her because of these frustrations and I'd end up becoming angry and it hurt her feelings. Last year, I was seriously depressed and it was pretty obvious so she told me I should try to talk to her more. Sometimes it helps, but most of the time it ends up like this and I think why bother. Even in general conversation, I'll try to talk to her about something on the news or current events I think are interesting and then she'll just steamroll me and go "yeah, okay. Anyway, how are your friends doing?" I know she isn't the worst mom in the world, but it can be so frustrating when our relationship is defined by what is most fulfilling to her (me being happy and having my life together instead of actually opening up about what's bothering me, talking about mundane shit that she cares about and I don't, etc). I'm trying to do the healthy thing and communicate my needs to her, but I feel like there's no point to it and I should just give up.
No. 1818603
>>1818585What the fuck is going on with lc lately with so many anons saying "not all men" and claiming there's nothing wrong with birthing 4 kids
for our oppressors or saying that we should have kids in our early 20s because apparently women's wombs turn to dust in their mid 30s. It's feeling so moidy and tradthoty up in here lately
No. 1818651
>>1818624Nta but don't be so disingenuous. Bait about pregnancy and mothers has been consistently getting posted here for a while. It's not
valid concerns, just anons wanting to fight.
No. 1818669
File: 1702941152678.png (600.02 KB, 1157x921, gewageharhrh.png)
My boyfriend said the moids who had gay sex in the senate hearing room were "based". When I expressed disapproval, he asked me "Wouldn't you do the same?". Um no, wtf? I wouldn't want to defile such a sacrosanct American institution. Some of the decisions that have shaped the entire world have happened in that room, and these faggots mar it? For crying out loud.
No. 1818706
>>1818663oh sorry
nonnie that was me
No. 1818722
File: 1702944343341.jpg (7.82 KB, 400x296, watching paint dry.jpg)
The worst, absolute worst, part of being chronically and severely depressed is that nothing is interesting. Even the most exciting activity or interesting hobby is unappealing. The sadness is rough, sure, but to me the most excruciating part is having no desire to do anything. That's what really drives me to consider suicide. The prospect of "watching-paint-dry" levels of boredom for the rest of your natural life with no reprieve except for brief bouts of extreme sadness is unimaginable. It takes an absolutely insane amount of will-power to will yourself to keep going for others' sake when your life consists of watching paint dry. Getting up, taking care of yourself, going to work, doing chores, just to watch paint dry. It's so incredibly hard.
No. 1818773
>>1818748ayrt, me as well. I'm alwyas just counting down the minutes until I can lie down and sleep again, nothing else matters to me.
One personal thing that gnaws at me is that for some reason I was born with artistic skill, and as a kid and young teenager I used to draw all the time, that was what I was known for. But then when i became depressed at 15, I slowly stopped drawing to the point that now, at 25, I do one drawing per year, usually as a gift or something, and nothing more. I've lost a decade of time I should have been using to refine my skills, I know I would have had the capacity to become truly incredible, but this disease killed that.
I know the new hip thing to claim now is that depression is purely caused by bad circumstances and that it's a myth peddled by the pharmaceutical industry that it's your brain that's sick, but living the life I've lived, I don't know if I can really believe that. Sure, the shittiness of the world does not help, and for some people I'm sure depression can be circumstantial. But for me, who was an upper-middle-class kid with excellent parents, no deaths in the family, no real hardships, there was no reason for me to lose myself into depression at 15. My life was, and still is in many ways, perfect. What changed at 15? finishing puberty. I really think that puberty irreversibly changed my brain. Something happened at that time that twisted the connections into incorrect shapes. It would also explain why no medication has ever worked for me even slightly. I think this is a physical, (epi?)genetic malfunction. I can feel with every fiber of my being that I am being drawn towards suicide, which is the rightful end to this story according to Darwin's law of evolution.
No. 1819055
File: 1702966144290.png (77.1 KB, 146x180, tumblr_nfvvl3gn5K1u3mr7go3_250…)
Fell asleep probably close to 12am, woke up at 3:40am and haven't been able to go back to sleep worrying how I'm going to be able to pay my bills while studying if rent is going to increase like this. It's now 7:05am and now too hungry to sleep but so tired my head hurts. I'm gonna be all fucked today.
No. 1819107
File: 1702974266320.jpg (122.52 KB, 887x1157, 1696736431957.jpg)
it seriously feels like every weird autistic woman has trooned out. where am i supposed to find my ilk now. it's really depressing
No. 1819113
File: 1702975068737.jpeg (131.22 KB, 1200x1165, 3E9AAE5A-8F21-4CD2-88D7-4FA7DA…)
I’m ordering high potency sodium nitrite so I can finally off myself, I’m done living through my happy memories. They’re just starting to make me sad, I’ll never have a life even somewhat as good as I used to. My life peaked at 22 and has been a downwards slow death spiral since. The future is nothing but horror and agony and poverty.
No. 1819139
File: 1702977805629.jpg (82.34 KB, 750x639, angy.JPG)
Men need to stop acting oppressed for their sexualities.
I have seen countless men cry about the death of civilization and how their heterosexuality is maligned because a video game/anime/cartoon character isn’t a walking pair of tits.
That catboy YouTuber Jocat who made that cringe music video where he goons over 2d girls and got harassed (IRONICALLY BY MEN CALLING HIM GAY can you believe it!!?)… Now the menfolk are getting all retrospective and philosophical and extending SO much sympathy and, predictably, crying over how oppressed her men are. How he was just a normal straight man who was witch-hunted by an evil gynocentric, prudish society where depictions of sexy women aren’t allowed to exist.
Do they live in fucking reality? Obviously yes, but men’s entitlement knows no fucking bounds so they do not perceive reality. Every single girl growing up is bombarded with pornified images of women as decoration and as their primary “role models”.
In what world are heterosexual men objectifying women and getting any pushback for their coom habits at all, anything being done at all?
In what world am I coming across pictures of sexy men in skimpy swimsuits plastered on endless advertisements? Where are the male characters in media that exist just to be the female lead’s accessory, show skin, and jiggle their cock bulges around? Nowhere.
Heterosexual men are not oppressed. I’M OPPRESSED.
I wish these whiny males could walk a single day in my shoes as a heterosexual woman. Where beautiful men are so rare they might as well not exist, and depictions of them are stifled by men in power who feel threatened and don’t think women deserve anything nice. Do they know how hard it is for me? How I have to hunt for content where pretty men exist, but I can’t browse any website innocuously without seeing a half naked woman beckoning me for sex?
I am so mad…. So mad…
No. 1819144
File: 1702978912397.jpg (91.24 KB, 1280x720, cbcbb8938190bd6df996dc95716870…)
my job in customer service is giving me suicidal and homicidal urges. during this holiday season the customers are extra stupid and i don't go a day without imagining someone dead. and this shitty piece of shit job is the same everyday and is minimum wage and yet the managers are fearmongering, gaslighting, manipulating and shitting on me for the pettiest of things. it's like they can't accept that i'm here because otherwise i'm broke and i would rather not have to worry about homelessness. my back hurts in multiple spots, my fucking knees and hips are sore, and these bitches would tell me to smile and do my hair and to wear or not to wear certain accessories that harm literally nobody. my socks were dark gray the other day instead of black and apparently this is unacceptable and so they threatened to have me sent to another department. fuck this stupid fucking store. nobody realistically gives a single fuck if their cashier wears a non-offensive tattoo choker, colorful nail polish or lipstick and absolutely nobody would ever notice the color of their motherfucking socks. this is the most basic, the poorest grocery store of the city. nobody cares. people think it sucks to work there even when they have never tried and it does suck ass. i quit and i am sedating myself with cups of sleepy tea while waiting out the notice period. fuck my fucking life i would rather be unemployed in the new year than destroy my physical and mental health for a shitty ass place which offers the bare minimum while still berating me. we don't even get the normal required break times, they expect us to sacrifice 10 minutes for coming back from the break room and we can't even be 2 minutes late without being told off, but we have to clock in exactly 5 minutes earlier and then hurry to the cash desks already dressed up. stealing our time constantly but fucking complaining about us reclaiming it. lying ass bitches even make shit up about when you called in sick and how early. i would rather be broke at this point.
No. 1819157
File: 1702981118448.jpg (277.31 KB, 1079x1064, getfucked.JPG)
I hate that whenever something good happens to me it doesn't last very long because the universe decides I can't have nice things and absolutely rocks my shit.
No. 1819181
File: 1702985747865.jpeg (16.5 KB, 520x391, IMG_7122.jpeg)
can't stop crying because i really miss my dad and i just keep thinking of both my mother and father's mortality and how they're getting old and i'm not even 20 yet and they're already elderly/in their 60s. it hurts so much anons
No. 1819192
>>1819188Beautiful post anon
t. was also suicide baiting earlier
No. 1819285
>>1819248Thank you anyway, I appreciated it. Have a good day
nonnie!
No. 1819494
File: 1703005685416.jpeg (277.31 KB, 877x1200, cat-danger-3873838587.jpeg)
Not only was my stupid fucking cunt of a professor an incompetent teacher this semester, she also bitched and complained 99% of the time during class about personal problems that have nothing to do with students. I thought she was depressed so I went out of my way to be friendly to her and say encouraging things to her, like how lucky we were as students to have her as a professor even though I really thought she was mediocre at teaching, at best. So I turn in my final assignment which was WAY more work than it's worth, and everyone in the class received feedback except me. Everyone got their feedback 10 days ago and were praising her for how quickly she gives feedback on papers and I'm like, uh, okay, where's mine? I'm too pissed off to even check what grade I got on the stupid assignment, she was supposed to email me feedback but she never did, guess I'm not good enough for that, stupid fucking cunt. I hate this bitch I hope she chokes on her food and dies. I'm not normally this angry but the entire university and everyone there has continually pissed me off, they're all so fake and some of them have this glassy dead look in their eyes and it creeps me out. I've continually been annoyed with all of it but I feel deranged today in particular because of PMS. I fucking hate this school and I hate this city. I really think I'd rather kill myself than go through another semester. Also at this point I don't even want that stupid bitch's feedback on my paper, it would be worth dog shit anyways.
No. 1819639
>>1819626Yeah, I try not to be too judgemental because some posters sound terribly young and I am a zoomer myself but I'm starting to suspect some posters are literally 16.
>>1819606What are you passionate about, anon? Would dropping out be such a terrible idea? I don't know if your ideal career path would be something artistic but in case it is here's my advice: You don't have to go to a pretigious art school to learn. In most countries there are usually public ''art schools''. I know it's not the same that going to the best art university but those public art school places can be very instructive too and instead of 4-5 years of courses you can get your certificate in less than 3.
No. 1819715
>>1819634why fast before? as a kind of clarifying ritual? humans need food and good food to be at our best mentally and physically.
>I haven't bathed in 5 days, it's never been so bad. I feel ashamed, I shouldn't even be saying this here publicly.5 days isn't the worst, it's gross sure but take it easy. being in pain isn't shameful.
No. 1819754
File: 1703016142159.jpg (32.84 KB, 564x542, 6622176d8383d58839b3c4121f3059…)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH I hate that I lost my virginity to such a fucking idiot!!!!!!
No. 1819978
File: 1703023867114.gif (1.63 MB, 400x400, 70BF6908-DEB0-4DAB-ABEA-54C050…)
I feel lonely after reading the nigel thread. Or I just want a friend. I’m starting to think that my personal beliefs are deterring me from opening up to anyone. They’re not cemented in my worldview yet. But I wish I could just talk freely with someone. Idk anyone want to be friends?
No. 1820028
File: 1703025395673.png (1.4 MB, 1079x1098, IMG_1005.png)
>>1819747 Idk if this will help at all
nonny, but I recently got health insurance and saw a doctor after the absolutely worst year of my life (brother died, lost my job, had to move to a new state and leave everything I loved behind)
She was amazing, got me on the right meds, listened to me break down on the table (despite being a GP in a mediocre neighborhood) and has been a really huge help this last few months.
I can’t say I’m doing great, but having access to a compassionate, caring female doctor has been an incredible privilege for me. If you decide to continue down that path you might do the same for someone else.
No. 1820152
File: 1703031204557.png (2.59 MB, 1080x1326, 01B4373E-B594-4178-A180-559E7B…)
>>1820038Ahh nonna thanks for your interest. Um irl I’ve been told I’m comforting to talk to. But idk how I would come across online kek. I’ve been feeling very lost lately so paradoxically (?) I don’t think im a good candidate for making friends rn. But we could chat a bit!
No. 1820248
File: 1703034842918.jpg (16.28 KB, 275x220, 1658654112297.jpg)
dammit, I applied to my first credit card (it's considered easy to get) and got rejected. I feel so dumb for not doing the pre-approval first. I really thought I'd be able to get it.
No. 1820268
>>1820226Posting this to vent as it's too off-topic in the other thread and it was recent:
My boomer mother was going off on me the other day about some admittedly poor financial choices I'd made and owned no accountability for her lack of support which certainly was a factor to drive me to such decisions.
She has a pension from being a very (mediocre) teacher, and social security from retiring at 65, but boasted to me recently about having a $100k savings.
So I asked her if she could possibly live the rest of her life on $100k without SS and a pension?
No, of course not?
WELL BITCH, THAT IS WHAT YOU ARE ASKING ME TO DO. YOU HAVE HAD WAY MORE STABILITY AND FAMILIAL SUPPORT IN YOUR LIFE YET ALL YOU MANAGED TO SAVE FROM YOUR POOR CHOICES WAS A MEASLY $100K?! MY GENERATION MAY NOT GET SS, AND THAT'S IF WE SURVIVE LONG ENOUGH UNTIL 70+ TO ENJOY IT DUE TO THEM RAISING THE RETIREMENT AGE IF THEY DO NOT BLEED THE PROGRAM DRY FIRST. MOST JOBS ACCESIBLE TO YOUNGER FOLKS DO NOT HAVE BONUSES AND NO LESS PENSIONS ANYMORE. I HAVE MORE EDUCATION AND EARN A HIGHER SALARY THAN YOU DID AT MY AGE ADJUSTED FOR INFLATION YET I HAVE THESE UNWARRANTED STRUGGLES, AND YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO ATTACK YOUR OWN FLESH AND BLOOD AS IF BEING A BOOTLICKER HAS DONE YOU SHIT IN THIS LIFE. YOU ARE A FUCKING ABERRATION FROM DARWINISM AS EVEN THE MOST BASE OF CREATURES WOULD TAKE GREAT OFFENSE IF THEIR OFFSPRING WAS BEING PARASITED BY OBVIOUS PREDATORS. YOU MAKE IT SO VERY HARD TO LOVE YOU WHEN YOU HAVE MASQUERADED YOUR LAZY, INSECURE PARENTING AS TOUGH LOVE AS IF YOU DESERVE ANY CREDIT FOR MY CHARACTER WHEN YOU CANNOT EVEN OWN A FAILURE. I DO NOT DO THIS SHIT TO YOU. AND EVEN IF I WERE SO MEAN AND NEEDED TO FEEL SUPERIOR TO YOU, AT LEAST YOU ARE NOT MY CHILD WHO I CHOSE TO BRING INTO THIS WORLD JUST TO HAVE AS A CONVENIENT RAG.
Sorry.
I am just so jealous of people who have parents who cared and planned in real ways.
No. 1820273
File: 1703036644349.jpg (6.82 KB, 141x167, 1000012742.jpg)
>post obese peter griffin meme to diss a scrote poster
>didn't even reply directly to him
>temp ban
>"learn2integrate"
no, mods. I won't respond directly to scrotes, but I'll still make fun of scrote posters however I want to.
No. 1820314
>>1820028Thank you
nonnie. All I want is to help ladies like you. I hope you're doing well.
No. 1820328
>>1820319Also, like, people will make fun of autistic people for acting a certain way but then when they act normal, they suddenly don’t have the condition at all in their eyes and are seen as just having autism because it’s trendy, and somehow their ability to mask becomes
problematic. Not to say you should go around telling people you have autism, just something I’ve noticed from anons on here. It’s really like any other illness. There are people with depression who may be very obviously falling down hill (not showering, tired all the time, etc.) and then there are some that have learned to cope and seem like regular people. I just don’t know how anons can’t comprehend that. Like yes, I understand TikTok and their dumb ass takes but I wish those would just go away because they aren’t getting the point either, because they’re acting as if getting better is oppression. Ugh.
No. 1820350
File: 1703042964655.gif (1.17 KB, 15x15, flower04.gif)
i always run to this site whenever i feel sad. i just scroll thru threads on ot and don't post anything. ot is like an emotional support place for me lol
No. 1820373
File: 1703044659451.jpeg (378.22 KB, 2048x1536, IMG_4326.jpeg)
I bought influencer ink from a stationery website and the day after the company does a BOGO sale on their own site. Annoyed but at least the color I ordered was sold out so I’m not wasting any more money.
No. 1820525
File: 1703065221662.jpg (119.77 KB, 989x960, 363836850_660076406066284_5693…)
pic i saved from here, sorry for reusing. sorry for possible tmi. i always had pains in my nether regions, very extremely especially as a child. i was told it was an infection because i did not wipe right. but i was always gaslighted and manipulated and put on drugs (mdma and sleep drugs i believe) and knew how to clean myself properly. the pain was extreme. i still had pain up until i became 18 years old. i believe one family member or more has been raping me. i have a man now they keep asking and prying about when we will have kids. when i call out creepiness and gaslighting, i am being told that they did not say anything, or that i have schizophrenia. but i told them i went to the doctor and they did not find that i have that disorder. they are scaring me and i don't know what to do. i want to stay with my boyfriend but my brother has known him for longer and he is scary too. i am also scared that if i get checked for another mental disorder then my boyfriend would leave me.
No. 1820540
File: 1703066981066.jpeg (471.32 KB, 828x824, IMG_1609.jpeg)
I always resent how I was raised, and the kind of relationship my parents has because I truly want to enjoy everything in life with my boyfriend, but god I’m not used to the calmness of it all. Watching my parents constantly fight, name-call, and have screaming matches with eachother made me think that was what my relationship would be like in the future, and I think that absolutely ruined my perception on love. I really wanna get this settled with therapy…
No. 1820621
File: 1703074618261.jpg (37.04 KB, 600x573, sadfrenchfrycat.jpg)
i wish i wasn't so retarded about food. i've been stuck in this anachan rut for so long that i cannot imagine ever being any different even though i wasn't always this way. i have plans for christmas and while i'm looking forward to them i'm afraid someone is going to comment on my weight and the fact that i'm not eating. it's extremely embarrassing and i feel so much shame over it
No. 1820629
>>1820535Why do you call it a situationship, is he not your bf? I think almost a year is a long time to just go with the flow, maybe it's time to have a talk about where the two of you are standing anon.
>HOW DO I FEEL LIKE I'M ENOUGHIt's hard, but I just kind of decided to one day. When I first started dating my current bf I had some uncertainties about him. We'd talk about it sometimes and I'd confess that I felt like he didn't love me etc. until one day he teared up, told me I have no right to decide how he feels and to stop it. It made me realize it was unfair of me to project my own insecurities onto him and that it hurt his feelings. It's actually kind of a retarded thing to do when you think about it, so I made a conscious effort to stop. With time it's gotten easier and easier and nowadays I always believe him, unless he were to actually do something that would tell me otherwise.
No. 1820638
File: 1703076853243.jpg (168.21 KB, 735x1046, tumblr_2a4932fee59640714c15f13…)
anons have always been complaining that the farm has gone to shit in recent years and i never felt it until now. sure there has been weird shit going on sometimes, but i could always shrug it off. however, the past few days i've been feeling it too. anons being overly aggressive, constantly seething and frothing at the mouth, picking fights on purpose, stirring shit and provoking infights, poor reading comprehension, acting obtuse just for the sake of flinging shit… there have been times when i haven't browsed the farms for weeks/months but i always came back because i love posting on here. but maybe it's time to move on if the userbase continues to rot like this. maybe almost ten years on the farms is enough.
No. 1820651
I've had severe anxiety since I was like 13 and although it's waxed and waned over the years in severity and presence it's always been affecting my life. I'm so tired of always being nervous, or scared, or paranoid. I'm so tired of being neurotic and hyperreactive. My cat went missing for like 16 hours the other day and I had a full on breakdown, couldn't sleep or eat, cried in bed for hours, searched around for him and panicked some more. Turns out he had just accidentally gotten locked in my neighbors shed for the morning and afternoon. When my sisters cat went missing for a day she still went to bed, got up, went to work, she didn't even cry, he returned home and she carried on like nothing was ever wrong. I just wish I could be normal and not react like a child to everything remotely stressful. I have a therapy appointment in like a day and a half and then I have to go to a garden store after to get a Christmas present for my sister. I'm already so anxious I'm cold and shaking, panicking about going to a fucking garden store. I hate this, I took 2 ativan just to calm down but now I just feel tired confused and groggy but still anxious and scared. I would do anything to not be anxious anymore, it's just so fucking exhausting
No. 1820664
File: 1703079435735.jpg (17.31 KB, 412x351, 465-1.jpg)
WHY ARE MY TEAMMATES SO FUCKING RETARDED i can pour my heart and soul in a turf war and get all the n°1 awards and those SHITHEADS still make us lose
No. 1820676
File: 1703080873591.jpg (148.38 KB, 960x1280, deb1b2c84f84c39b9f925fccc82f7d…)
>>1820664Tell me about it anon, some of these players are atrocious! I wish we could play together, having a team makes things a little better.
No. 1820727
>>1820629He's not my bf, but I think he referred to us as partners last week? We both had just come out of very long term relationships when we started seeing each other (which initially was just for sex but has evolved into something more) so not putting a label on it has been relaxing for both of us.
That's really good advice nonna, it's not my place to decide how he feels based on my own view of myself. Thank you xx
No. 1820734
File: 1703085273311.gif (381.8 KB, 500x273, sadpanda.gif)
>>1820638It hurts because there's no other place to go from here. if older anons or veterans made another forum with similar rules and regulations, it would be okay. I've been on lolcow for 8 years old and it would suck too much if this place died. However, I agree with you that infighting and bait has been rampant. Especially in /ot
No. 1820747
I crave companionship and support so much I took a stupid risk and let myself be in a situation where it's obvious I'd get taken advantage of but for whatever reason I did it anyway. From now on I'm telling people I have a great life and that i'm very happy, confident, and secure. The amount of people that have seen me at my low points, offered help, then took advantage of me because they knew I was vulnerable is upsetting on multiple levels. One obviously because how could someone be so vile to abuse someone's trust while they're weak? And two because how I could be so foolish as to let it keep happening despite all the past experiences I've had that should be telling me it'll be the same exact thing this time. Maybe this time it will be different. This time it is a nice person that just wants to help. Most people are good, people are mostly good, if I keep giving people chances that childish belief of mine can stay secure. I don't want to acknowledge that people can be bad. I want to be able to be vulnerable with people and get help. I can't become jaded, I've resisted it for so long, people even compliment me on that. You're so kind, you haven't lost that innocence and hope that other people who've experienced what you've been through would have. Is it hope? I think I'm just naive. Willfully naive at this point. I just want good people in my life that care for me. I just want friends. I just want support. There's no beauty in suffering in silence. It's not stoic, it's a slow suicide. The day I stop trusting people and closing myself off is when I will know I have truly given up. I can feel myself getting closer to that point and I'm scared.
No. 1820776
File: 1703088449252.jpg (52.86 KB, 720x720, 81383e844405ec57b9cb02e233145e…)
Pleaseeeeeeee I just want to get over my ex. I've replayed the times he hurt me and imagined what he looks like shitting on the toilet a thousand times yet I still can't stop crying and thinking about him.
No. 1820793
>>1820789nigel's roommate. nigel's mother keeps moving the retards in while nigel's looking after her rent, the house, and the cat her daughter left there. also nigel's mother (the leaser, not the landlord, the landlords are a big BIG corp) keeps moving in "creatives" aka junkies and retards cause they can strum a guitar with her. out of any control nigel could have tbh, I don't even live there just stay with him depending on what day/job I work and him too. we both work two. this fool works maybe one odd one and spends the time between one "baby mumma" (his words, I think of them as his long suffering
victims he knocked up) and the next. slams into the house like fucking Kramer (so did the last one, who was a woman perpetually fucked up on mushrooms) at all odd hours, feeds his kid(s) on milk we pay for and lets them trash the house with abandon. any word I say he chimes in to contadict me but will always listen to the men in the room and add to their points but me he just blatantly contadicts.
not to reddit space about it but I have an enemy now. he doesn't know it because he has XY defect but I'm getting him the fuck out of my vicinity. even typing this out is making me realize how retarded it is. and that's coming from the actual retard herself. fuck.
No. 1820814
>>1820809ty nona, this ones for you
emojis not allowed but kissy face hearty emojis all day
No. 1820817
>>1820814man I love claire
ty nona have a good one
and fuck scrotes
No. 1820829
>>1820817XY: AAA INDESCTUCTIBLE HE'S FUCKING INDESCTUCTIBLE
XX: ahh theatre
No. 1820840
>>1820833he literally stole russel from claire and the fact she gives him grace in this episode/anywhere still sucks to see even though that's what her character would have done? fuck I love claire. I still want the avocado cadillac hearse and I always will.
>>1820835that's murder babes x
No. 1820858
File: 1703092718696.jpg (27.32 KB, 400x356, jodi owo.jpg)
>>1820848I'd do it just 4 u nona if I could get away with it
No. 1820888
>>1820875>>1820880not correcting you cause I want nonas to watch it and I don't want to spoil them kek
or is that what you're doing rn and I'm ruining it? time will tell
vidrel makes me feel like a googy egg (ausfag)
No. 1820891
>>1820884I can relate a lot to the "it's all gonna get worse, better kill myself now" thought, that's where my mind goes when I am at my most depressed. The fear and that certainty of things going to shit in the future is worse than anything. I don't think real life suffering comes close to the suffering we imagine will happen.
Not gonna throw platitudes at you, but can you at least postpone it and be open to having a nice christmas if possible? You have literally nothing to lose. I understand what you're feeling though, being scared and convinced that you'll end up all alone. Even if that happened, there's almost always a way out if you're open to it.
No. 1820906
>>1820891Thank you nonna.
The thing is, every Christmas I have to stay inside my room because I live with my unstable brother (and my mom, but she's ok) and whenever he's outside his room, I have to hide and run away. He's always mad whenever I'm outside and even though yesterday I only came out of my room once he still got pissy because he saw me. If we're having Christmas here and family over then he'll want to be outside, otherwise he will become angry. I can only stay inside my room that day, new years too. I don't have anywhere to go.
This year my aunt took me to the movies with my cousin, and then when the movie was over she told me to stop being a little bitch and let my brother be happy on Christmas. She told me it was all my fault. The thing is ever since my brother and I fought (he followed me through the house screaming and trying to manipulate me and my mom, I had to run away, he also hurt my wrist) I just don't want to see him. I don't have the money means to do anything else on the 24th/25th etc. But anyway, aunt decided forcefully that Christmas would be at my house. Brother is on his Christmas break. I think I'll just sleep the rest of the year off, I don't want to think. Don't have friends or more family to be with either. Thank you for being nice to me
nonny, I'm not sure why I'm so open suddenly. I don't always talk about this stuff to people.
No. 1820925
File: 1703097430173.jpg (21.44 KB, 563x570, c7d4c6cf73910b525511467234e855…)
Paid a doctor to check on my exams, my own doctor had an emergency and she can't get back to me until February, so I got anxious and wanted an opinion on the results because some looked really bad. Went today to this random moid doctor, that piece of shit wouldn't even look at my face while speaking. I thought he was autistic and was willing to overlook his weird demeanor, but he was so rude it started getting on my nerves. I thought that also could be due to him being autistic, but for fucks sake he wouldn't even look at my exams properly. I had to point out the things that troubled me and he went "oh", like he didn't pay attention in the first place and didn't notice that.
He didn't give me any explanations for my concerns, he just played it off and even said "this is exam is probably just wrong", so what then? Do I repeat the exam or do I trust your gut feeling that everything is fine? He was passive aggressive, I was anxious and nervous about my results and he goes "why are you so anxious? what's your problem?" like he seemed annoyed. Ofc I got more anxious over his awkward communication and when I asked about my exams he said "why do you care so much? Do you work in the health industry?". I was so shocked by how out of touch he was. He ended up asking if I wanted meds for my anxiety, something I never complained about and he isn't even a fucking psychiatrist, he wasn't prepared to diagnose and medicate me my anxiety at all. I can't believe I wasted my money and time on this scrote. I am so angry at this guy and devastated I lost my money.
No. 1820957
>>1820906Oh nona, I'm sorry to hear that. Can somewhat relate to the whole "being a sister to a fucked up brother and having to fend for yourself" thing but mine isn't nearly as bad as yours sounds. Can you get at least some support from your mother? If she's reasonable she should be aware of how taxing this is for you and your mental health.
Man, I hate how much mentally ill moids are coddled in comparison to women. You really shouldn't have to spend christmas barricaded in your room, fucking hell. I get why things feel hopeless when you're in a situation like that, it's hard to recover and gain strength with such a stressor. I believe in you though, and someday when you no longer have to deal with your shitty brother life is gonna feel much lighter.
No. 1820981
>>1820972On a side note, I kind of hate that common sense on how biology and gender works is called "being a
terf". No hate to you or your post though.
No. 1821090
File: 1703102496607.jpg (255.92 KB, 1200x1200, Dennis.jpg)
I think about him a lot. Yeah because of the obvious but also because he was sad and couldn’t hold down a job and had to live with a friend and killed himself in her garage and my life is going nowhere and I can empathize with that a lot. I also can’t watch hoarders because it stresses me the fuck out, feels like I’m looking into my future. I’m just goin through it today, wish I could be hugged, did you know babies will die if they aren’t held enough
No. 1821114
>>1821105I don’t hate fat people but what I do hate is when chubby and fatties act like I’m a severely disordered freak for eating like a normal person.
>you’re turning down ice cream on pie after our 4 course dinner? You know you don’t have to restrict yourself sweetie…>you know you’re allowed to eat candy right >i know you wanna stay a skinny legend butI just don’t feel the fucking need to eat 3 deserts a day and wash it down with boba tea get off my ASS jfc. The first one isn’t even hyperbole, it literally just happened this weekend. The whole family is fat and “don’t know why” and blame the soil depletion and talk about how Euros have better soil to cope. And all of their dogs are morbidly obese too because their fatness can not stay constrained to themselves, the project their food needs onto everyone
No. 1821118
File: 1703103874126.jpg (21.08 KB, 589x613, dumbass.jpg)
I'm a very frugal person, I just hate wasting anything at all and can get anxious about it. Today I found out my mom already owns the appliance I got her for Christmas (last month, she told me she didn't have it) and even though I know she wouldn't be upset with my present (she's not that kinda person, plus I got her smth else as well), it's still bothering me a lot that it was a waste of money, like it's actually distressing to me. But even more than being wasteful, I hate that this simple thing is causing me so much anxiety, I wish I weren't this gd weak.
No. 1821150
File: 1703105930001.jpeg (979.79 KB, 1179x1515, IMG_1329.jpeg)
>>1820888Nate is awful but Peter Krause did so well (though not as well as Lauren Ambrose and Frances Conley) SFU had an unbelievably talented cast. One of the all time best shows.
just hearing the first few notes of Breathe Me has the tears flowing no matter how many rewatches No. 1821160
>>1821149You don't have to answer, but how old were you? I'm not quite 30 yet but my European country is pretty progressive (for now) and would probably let me if I seem confident enough about it. I hope.
NGL, just the thought of removing my tubes is extremely relieving. I'm still a bit scared I'll le change my mind if I le meet le love of my life but I have literally never wanted kids and am not cut out to be a mother for a lot of reasons, and that's without getting into the absolute state of society and how to successfully raise a kid in it
No. 1821345
File: 1703111685747.png (768.27 KB, 503x872, onlythebest.png)
every year, my mom asks me when i'm going to give her grandchildren. if i buy her this bag, do you think she'll overreact?
No. 1821417
>>1821407This exact thing happened to me a while back. Let's be real, he probably just wants a placeholder and/or someone to have an emotional affair with as soon as his new shiny gf starts becoming too demanding. I wish moids could see us as friends but from my experience they're always weird about it and looking to use you in some way, ESPECIALLY if you have history
BTW in case you need to hear it this behavior only reflects on him and he's the one that's a terrible person for both being unfaithful to his gf and pretending to be your friend. He wants to have his cake and eat it, he's immature.
No. 1821441
>>1821430lol, the guy I'm talking about was exactly like that. down to the feeling like talking about him at all felt like "drama" and "gossiping", while he'd spill everyone's secrets behind their back no matter how long they'd known him and how chill he seemed
He ain't a good person. It might have felt easy, but if your situation is like mine that ease was mostly an illusion and the guy's a lot more manipulative than you think
No. 1821505
File: 1703119267746.jpg (72.37 KB, 806x806, F6y1ccpacAAutyc.jpg)
I know I'm a gatekeeping oldfag but I hate how popular hatsune miku has become in recent years, to the point where it feels like every other streamer claims to like her. You could ask them what song they like and they say something like 'world is mine'. On one hand it's not like everyone has to know literally every vocaloid to be a fan but on the other hand it just rubs me the wrong way that coomers can collect a gorillion miku figures and jerk off to them and say she's great, but those same people can't list any vocaloid music producers. I guess it's good Miku is popular because more interest in the fandom will bring more songs but idk. I feel like there's a huge divide for people who like Miku for her visual design and people who like Miku for her voice.
No. 1821561
File: 1703122481365.png (601.77 KB, 787x588, Gakupo.png)
>>1821505>tfw been a Miku/vocaloid fan since 2007>the only vocaloid music producer(?) I can actively name is Wowaka I feel like a terrible vocaloid fan but I get what you mean anon. Anime becoming "mainstream" in general has been a curse. I'm so tired of seeing anime sticker cars, especially Demon slayer ones.
No. 1821583
>>1821581nta
>vocaloid has been popular my entire life>needlessly aggressiveAh. underage or barely of age newfag. I suspect you or your kind is responsible for all the overly aggressive posturing the last few weeks. Gen Z is so insufferable but I guess this is what happens to a generation raised on sociopathic modern social media
No. 1821601
>>1821592And I'm a unicorn fairy.
>>1821505My issue with vocaloid being popular is how there's barely any true autists making vocaloid music, like back then you would have cute as fuck shit about, like, switches that can destroy the world, candies or evil organizations creating mutants. Those types of songs made genuinely by genuine autists are the only good ones and we will never have that back, just like how genuine cringe will never come back.
No. 1821603
>>1821592Either you are lying, or your statement about vocaoild being popular for "nearly your entire life" was false. It's basic math, you poor retard. If you're going to bait and larp, at least know how numbers work.
>vocaloid becomes popular with the release of hatsune miku in 2007>someone born in 2007 is currently ~17>The youngest possible millennial is currently 28hmm.
No. 1821609
File: 1703124829627.jpg (77.44 KB, 1080x782, 7x4suipgeid91-1674112230.jpg)
>>1821606>>1821602Why are you two even fighting about this
No. 1821613
>>1821606Right. Because Naruto is right there with dbz and vocaloid is next in line.
>>1821603Hyperbole you autist. In middle school hatsune was everywhere and.
No. 1821636
File: 1703126049816.jpg (73.08 KB, 700x582, 2qsr5z.jpg)
CAN'T WE GO A COUPLE OF DAYS WITHOUT INFIGHTING FOR ONCE
No. 1821649
File: 1703127096652.png (55.62 KB, 622x675, KiGneitpGbnGsQQd9lI4.png)
i am in a lot of physical pain, gonna watch a movie that my 3d husbando is in to distract myself… le sigh
No. 1821658
File: 1703127366632.jpg (78.63 KB, 1280x720, maxresdefault-2827752886.jpg)
I think I've lost it a little, because I've been having a lot of anxiety recently and the only thing that calms me down is thinking of an alternate version of myself, a magical girl type of character that is always fun and happy. I want to be like that. Is this unhealthy? Am I meeting myself into something bad? Or is this autistic but okay.
No. 1821855
File: 1703133196782.jpg (9.23 KB, 275x217, 1702175594355.jpg)
I know I shouldn't let my dumbass mother get under my skin, but god does she ever. I got tinnitus because I gave myself tmj. I got a mouth guard; it helps but I still get it pretty badly. My dumbass mother decided, she who has absolutely learned no anatomy, that it is not why I have tinnitus. She deadass believes it is "the elites" and their "evil ways" why I got it. I want to punch a wall because I hate how stupid my mother is and how the internet made her even stupider than she already was. I hate having a crazy mother. Nothing is safe to talk about. I feel like I'm going schizo being around her. Kmn
No. 1821874
File: 1703133602136.jpg (78.29 KB, 564x752, 3afbcf0ccd410d5a9e68e742d942b2…)
>>1821698Fuck this guy (not literally). Hope you feel better soon and pamper youself a bit,
nonny!
No. 1821965
>>1821160I was 27 when I had my tubes removed, got approval from the doctor at 26. It's a bit cringe, but I found her through Reddit on a list of doctors known to sterilize women without pushback. I do harbor a bit of the same anxiety about meeting 'the one' and changing my mind, but the older I get the less likely it seems that I would ever want to tie myself to any moid in that way. It feels like fantastical thinking, whereas the benefits for me have been concrete and very comforting.
I also feel I am not cut out to be a mother. I respect women who have/want kids a lot, someone's gotta do it, but it won't be me. Whichever choice you make, godspeed
nonnie No. 1822282
File: 1703139435618.gif (58.59 KB, 61x69, spinda.gif)
Feeling very dizzy because of my period. I feel like I just got off of a rollercoaster.
No. 1822336
>>1822302thank you so much
nonny. I really feel like I show appreciation towards my friends but I never get the same. I think I will just start buying things I want for myself instead everytime it's the birthday of someone who forgot mine. it feels petty but I put emotional labour and money on remembering their birthday, getting a gift and wishing them a happy birthday to not even get a message on mine. I wont stop talking to them but I know if I can't rely on these people to send me a message on my special day, I wouldn't be able to rely on them for anything else anyway. the 2 people who remembered my birthday could get better gifts with the money I spent on those idiots, too.
No. 1822674
>>1822608thanks
nonnie <3 it hurts so much, doesn't it?
No. 1822790
File: 1703162654641.jpg (27.83 KB, 500x380, basedsailorjupiter.jpg)
i was shopping yesterday and some 600 pound moid on a mobility scooter backed into the aisle directly where I was standing. i got out of his way but instead of continuing down the aisle he drove away in the direction his scooter was already pointed in, meaning there was absolutely no need for him to back up in the first place. i'm pretty sure he did it just to be an asshole. later i saw him driving through the store and he was wearing a face mask and talking loudly on his phone and becoming agitated because he couldn't find where something was. he had it on speaker so i could hear that he was talking to a woman.
No. 1822826
File: 1703166886368.jpg (24.63 KB, 1080x819, 56755529a764cf043208342548438a…)
I'm my boyfriend's prostitute. I don't feel like a girlfriend at all.
He needs someone who is absolutely ok with his lack of commitment issues, and unfortunately I know pickmes like that exist out there. But anyway, I'll continue being a prostitute. I wish I could be all like "uwunoitsok lol uwuyeah I'm your cute happy girlfriend" but honestly it's pissing me off. Or maybe I should? Maybe the positive reinforcement on how good of a boyfriend he is will make him feel better. Lmao
No. 1822880
>>1822857Proud of you for putting yourself first
nonny! Better to leave than waste more years with someone who can't be bothered to build a future with you after 5 years.
No. 1822938
File: 1703173411719.gif (11.17 MB, 498x498, 56a614261d423da1825452363174c6…)
Fuck this workplace, how does my coworker who is universally unliked and known for doing jackshit, making mistakes, showing up late every day, causing drama, etc. get granted a 4 day work week next year with every Friday off?? It's such bs, she constantly gets exceptions made for her no one else here gets despite being the worst employee here. She's gotten so much time off this year too, she even got an entire month off and wasn't forced to use her holidays up for it so now she gets Christmas off too. I can't stand working here and making less than this woman, praying to any gods out there I can land a better job after I'm done with these night classes I've been taking
No. 1823027
File: 1703178223876.jpg (70.95 KB, 735x908, 62755cb7071d26619cb835cceb6076…)
So I've been struggling with depression & suicidality and today my dad said that I "just need to stop bothering him with my crazy breakdowns." I don't even know what to say. I hardly even come to him because I know he's not supportive and will always try to give me "tough love" & doesn't even comfort me (he just goes into 'solving' mode)–the only time I really approach him for help is when I have nobody else and can't manage it on my own.
I genuinely feel like this man should have never become a parent. If I was more fragile then I probably would have killed myself after hearing that my own parent finds me a bother. I rarely even tell him what I'm feeling unless I have no one else. I try seeing my therapist weekly but it only does so much.
No. 1823043
>>1823003Nonnie it's not healthy to control crying, it's just your body trying to de-stress and have some of those sweet sweet endorphines after a good cry
People are usually very understanding if they see an adult crying in public as it's implied it's for a good reason, except for specific countries i guess like a Japan or something idk
My first instinct is to console another women crying in public, doesn't matter the reason behind the breakdown, I just think it's human nature (a moid crying tho? Ew)
No. 1823045
File: 1703178770171.jpg (62.69 KB, 638x359, tipp.jpg)
>>1823003If you have other stressors then that's probably increasing your distress level and then when something bad happens (like getting a fine, a bad grade), it's the
trigger event on top of that. If you can find a way to decompress your stress levels it should help. I did DBT and the skills they recommend are TIPP to calm your nervous system. If you do this a few times a day (just the breathing one or some jumping jacks) then it should help you 'reset' your distress meter instead of letting it build. Hope this makes sense. However, I still cry a lot compared to others and I've realized that it's just how I am. So another part of it is learning not feel ashamed about it or else you will hate yourself for what you can't control as I always have. My therapist says that at the root of my emotions is hyper empathy that can be channeled into positive things like volunteer work and better relationships (with good people who aren't energy vampires lol).
No. 1823097
File: 1703180733151.jpg (24.19 KB, 400x400, 1695735074985179.jpg)
>>1823079do you like it? But yeah I've heard thats the tallest country I can imagine everybody towering lol
>>1823086Yes but people here are shorter than average, and I stopped starving myself but I still have a voice in my mind that tells me I need to be smaller and it drives me insane
No. 1823103
File: 1703181179060.jpg (57.43 KB, 513x486, 1000011805.jpg)
I hate men, why do they have to kill the vibe of fucking everything why can't they shut up nobody cares that you were abandoned by your daddy and now for some reason blame all women for every problem in the world
No. 1823114
>>1823097>do you like it? But yeah I've heard thats the tallest country I can imagine everybody towering lolI don't really know. It's annoying to get noticed when I'm trying to order drinks and stuff and when I'm with my friends I feel like I look like someone's kid sister. Crowds suck. I don't think it bothers me that much though.
I've been called super cute and adorable because I'm small by moids and that creeped me real bad.
No. 1823413
File: 1703196756344.jpeg (304.51 KB, 1170x1514, IMG_1003.jpeg)
>>1823103When you replace men in this with women you sound like what I imagine this wojak sounds like
(bait) No. 1823546
File: 1703203656650.gif (817.09 KB, 640x564, 1455677889.gif)
Praying for the day anons stop making threads too early, it's actually making me autistically mad at this point. I will harass the mods over it if they don't do something.
No. 1824098
File: 1703243773506.jpeg (77.54 KB, 750x920, IMG_0410.jpeg)
>>1824078Gotta get you one of THESE bebes.
No. 1824119
File: 1703247193226.jpg (13.65 KB, 474x315, 1000011871.jpg)
Being the only failure sibling is so cool. Love it.
No. 1824146
I feel like absolute crap, I've been feeling like absolute crap, can't believe I went to a doctor and I still feel like crap, they just told me everything is fine and yet i still feel like shit nothing seems to be working out at all, they deadass told me to go home with next to no meds on prescription how the hell am I supposed to get better like that. Now my throat is sore, let's hope is not a cold before Xmas because it's already hard for me to eat. Everytime I'm feeling discomfort they bring up my anxiety issues like I'm the one causing this "Why are you moody nonna?" Well idk maybe because I'm the only person in the house that is apparently perpetually sickly, if it's not gut problems it's a random virus and if it's not that, metabolic issues, I can't catch a damn break. And no matter what I do or what I eat, the same ol' shit happens, all my efforts to the drain, of course I'm livid. "Just have some patience nonna!" How would you like it if you did your best for months and even years yet nothing changes?
No. 1824275
File: 1703258891033.jpeg (724.11 KB, 1604x2003, IMG_9111.jpeg)
So I used my sleuthing skills and spent all day internet stalking a guy who was pursuing me on and off for a year or two. I looked through his art stuff. Not only did he turn out to be an absolute nutcase schizo conspiracy theorist, but I'm pretty sure I just found a vault of sick perverted r. crumb esque comics (worse than his stuff actually, serial killer tier) that he drew under a pseudonym. Jesus fucking christ. I knew the vibes were off, when he made advances on me my body started violently shaking and I felt sick from his touch. I KNEW he was hiding something. If only I'd have trusted my gut and rejected him immediately instead of having sympathy for yet another messed up scrote because "I'm weird too"
No. 1824330
I finally stood up to my former ""best friend""" which was entirely okay with ignoring me for months to hang out with moids who treat her like shit then immediately come cry to me whenever something bad happens because her moid friends are unreliable, but whenever she wanted to have fun I was at the bottom of the list, always benched, always the "mom friend". basically lying to me she will put the effort to talk to me more than once every 2 months or reply to my memes whenever I complain, promising to do this and that with me only to leave me hanging, making me buy games we're supposed to play together and never do, let alone do something together, then say she never told me to expect anything from her and it's her autism's fault, putting the least amount of maintenance in our friendship possible. it's been years she has been someone decent in general (surprisingly even her bf agrees with me, someone who has actually been my friend through way more than her) and I'm really disappointed by the person she has become. bitch, if you don't want to put the effort to be someone's "best friend" you don't get to have your cake and also eat it, I will treat you like the acquaintance you treat me, just don't expect anything from me, like you told me to expect nothing from you. good fucking luck with your weeb moid friends from discord, cunt.
No. 1824408
File: 1703266817110.gif (637.34 KB, 400x225, whyme-why.gif)
JFC. I am trying to find a work from home job, but I am concerned because three or four of my neighbors near me have these annoying ass dogs that don't shut the fuck up. I dont know if they go off to work and leave them outside in the yard or balcony, but i fucking hate hearing them yap and bark for hours during the day. I am tempted to go find out which units have these barking dog issues and report them to HOA. I am mentally exhausted. Even with my windows closed, I hear it so loud and clear. Lock your mutts up!
No. 1824411
I've recently discovered that my difficulty academically (not intellectually) has been because of fucking ADHD, which my parents knew about but never told me, instead telling me that I was 'lazy' and 'stupid' for not getting into our chosen uni. On the contrary, I'm pretty damn smart but I cannot control my focus to such a crippling degree that keep falling behind and into abject despair as all my peers inexplicably seem to keep on track. Deep down, my one fixation and love in life is art. I wish I could leave this house and this horrid degree and go lock myself in a room and paint for the next 60 years of my life until I curl over dead. Art is the world to me. I can't do it at home though because my parents take it as a sign that I'm not focusing on my degree when I'm not focusing on it anyway and when it's the only way I can relax, which means I never relax, so I sit here rotting neither able to study nor able to reset my brain by enjoying my only hobby in life. A first world problem, sure, but this shit is miserable. I wish I had the mentality to kill myself, but I'm too logical for even that kek. So I just sit here, rotting away in loathing of everyone and myself, unable to focus or do the basics of what is expected of me academically. I hate this. Worst bit is I can't even get medicated yet and it's so stressful having to sneak around my parents to get a diagnosis.
No. 1824420
>>1824411your parents are sound like extremely miserable people. they should understand if you want to be able to succeed you should also have some joy in life. not having parents who even believe in ADHD is truly a curse though. I keep wondering how life would be if I was medicated as a child. my academic life is also a nightmare and I've been always told I'm lazy and I could do better and I'm just not trying hard when I'm always on my breaking point. I wish you the best,
nonny, I know how hard it is.
No. 1824483
>>1824420Thanks
nonny - not that you asked, but approximately 5 minutes after posting that, I decided that I'm going to apply for a history of art degree or kill myself trying kek. As it stands I have no focus and nothing to live for, so even just reframing my degree as 'get a first so that I can convince my parents that I deserve to go and do a second degree/masters' gave me such a powerful surge of motivation on the spot. I even pictured myself getting accepted to the uni in particular and started crying. I haven't allowed myself to consider studying art until now because it's just so unthinkable to my parents but I never truly realised the extent of how badly I wanted it. I'll get through this nona, and best of luck to you too!
No. 1824658
>>1824341 >she's "winning at life"I'm happy for friends when they hit marriage, baby, mortgage milestones etc and have also been supportive if it later turns into divorce, messy coparenting, moving back home or even if none of that happens and it just gets tough to follow through on the daily upkeep on your commitment. Nice to celebrate all those milestones but they're only the beginning of taking on new responsibilities. They're not the finish line with a prize waiting for you and smooth sailing guaranteed from there on out.
Like other anon said, it does sound like its all just an abstract idea to him.
No. 1827132
File: 1703433295186.jpg (249.76 KB, 1024x1024, 4g86g_0fjeiji8.jpg)
My little sister broke off her 7 year relationship a month ago. I don't talk to her much, if at all, but i heard it from my grandparents. My grandma told me that she broke it off cause he had bouts of anger because "he had trauma from losing his twin brother in his childhood". Which is such a slap in the face cause my sister and i lost our dad in our childhood and we also both had issues with anger and got help for it to become better people. Not this guy though. I asked my grandma if he ever reached out for help, but he didn't. When my sister advised therapy to him he became angry. He never took her anywhere either, or did fun things with her. Everything was initiated by her. My sister is a very outgoing and social person so this honestly shocked me, but it also made me realize that no matter who you are, what you look like, what type of men you date they are all more or less the same. Every woman i have ever spoken to has at least one story of an ex who had mental issues he didn't want to resolve with therapy or just soul searching. And also many, many women who complain about their boyfriends never taking them anywhere fun (especially when it is a 3+ year relationship). It seems that every man just wants to lock up their love interest in an ivory tower; just to have access to their 24/7 bangmaid. I fucking hate it here.
No. 1840349
>>1825470Sorry to hear that anon. I've had this happen to me a lot. I was in this really
toxic loop where if I thought someone was ghosting me I'd block them first. I just try to accept that any relationship is temporary.
>>1825442If people think you're autistic you probably are tbh. I used to be offended and I thought I was above the label because I was used to people using it to mean r-tard. What makes you unapproachable to either group?