/ot/ - off-topic

>>195281

I don't have close friends, but plenty the ones to talk to in social situations…

The thing I can't stand is when person is weak-willed and crybaby. I mean the type who always lets everyone to step on him and never stands up for himself.

Second thing I hate is the ones who always shit-talks about killing everybody, being psychopath and generally acting all dark, just because it's edgy… Like I want some positivity in my life and I don't have time for all the toxic people in my life.

I can't stand jealousy and the pettiness and nastiness that comes with it.
I had a childhood friend who turned out to be a realy sour, overcompetitive and backstabbing person. She would always try to one-up my achievements and cry whenever I had a better grade than her or did something better. That never really bothered me, even though other people warned me about her. Then I noticed that whenever I mentioned a goal of mine she would suddenly take interest and try to achieve it first. She goes as far as befriending my closest friends, making the group all about her and then proceeding to exclude me from it. We've been on the same class since kindergarten, but when she got into the same University as me I did all I could to stay away from her.
It's really irritating because I'm really open about my dreams and like to share my enthusiasm with others. Now I learned the importance of keeping certain things to yourself.
That's the only thing I can't tolerate, but I'm not a very good friend either to be honest. Social anxiety and personality disorders are a shit.

i have BPD which is well known for having chaotic friendships, but i have managed throughout my life to have solid ones. sometimes i fight with friends but it is not often. the main thing i do is i don't take people's thoughts or actions personally, and i only get confrontational if their behaviors effect my space or daily living, or if they are being morally unreasonable. but because of my black and white thinking it is pretty hard and something i have to keep in check very often

I haven't really had friends since I got out of high school but nonetheless, I could never be friends with people who love drama and starting shit. I'm a quiet person and just want to stay in the background. I don't mind extroverts, just as long as they aren't loud and obnoxious.

I know this is going to sound autistic as hell, but I don't think I could be friends with a normalfag either. I've spent the past 13 years on imageboards and don't really "get" regular humor and culture anymore. On the other hand, I don't want to be friends with "4chan is muh secret club" edgelords either.

>>195308
Damn I could've written this lol. Especially the thing about not wanting friends who start shit. I do like drama and gossiping but I don't like drama in my actual personal life, so I can't stand having friends who love conflict. My best friend in high school and part of college was constantly a bitch to people because she thought being acidic and confrontational was the same thing as standing up for yourself. She was also loud as fuck and was constantly talking over me. Couldn't stand her after a few years.

Those who encourage and celebrate unstable/unhealthy behaviours, like eating trash food all the time and not sleeping. As someone who suffers with depression and anxiety already, these type of people aren't the best people to surround myself with. I realise that I should expect someone to be my cheerleader 100% of the time but actively celebrating behaviour that's going to make me worse is something I should really avoid.

>>195281

I found you get a choice between comfy and relatable but unhealthy, or healthy but numbing and not very comfy.

People who are mentally unstable (I don't mean your garden variety mild anxiety and depression, I mean those who wallow in their mental illness and sit around uselessly without trying to get better or seeking treatment, or worse yet use it to garner attention or beg for money).

Lazy freeloaders who expect me to be in the same group as them just so they could laze around and make me do all the work and are only college-friends with me because I work hard and get good grades. On the same note, people who befriend myself and others for personal gain and only talk to me when they need something.

People who don't put any effort into our friendship and only expect me to call them and wait on them.

Drama aggregators. Those whose idea of humour is talking shit about others (eg making fun of a random woman on the street's eyebrows, talking shit behind someone's back, guys and girls who are constantly jealous of everyone who does something better than them) to make themselves feel better, because eventually I'll become the target as soon as I disagree with them on something. Also she-neckbeards who constantly go on tirades about the world's injustices, that includes SJWs, alt-rights, militant atheists, Bible thumpers, any extreme stance on anything/getting too invested in politics and religion.

I don't mind shy girls, people who occasionally complain and bitch about world events, talk about themselves because they're shut-ins and have nothing else to talk about, 'alternative' lifestyles… etc as long as it's within reason.
I can really overlook a lot of quirks as long as the person in question is good at heart and means well, but the moment they start going off the rails and acting the cunt I stop speaking to them.

People who actively attempt to draw me into their hobbies and interests, but refuse to engage with mine. The things I do (my visual art and my writing) are important to me and I put a lot of myself into them. As such, I'm not likely to feel very close to somebody who isn't interested in engaging with that, because if they don't, well… they're not really ever gonna know me. This is a problem I've encountered mostly with men who mistake polite interest for genuine curiosity and are liable to read way more into the relationship than I'm actually putting in. Dudes who view their female friends as just endless resources of support and emotional intimacy that they don't feel like they can get from their male friends. It's happened way too many times in the past and it's absolutely infuriating. Dudes who profess to feel 'so close' to me just because I'm socialized to be nice and polite and supportive when they can't be bothered to keep in mind even one thing I'm actually passionate about.

I was in a situation where I was bullied severely in school. A friend whom I thought was my best friend called my house when I was coincidentally sick from overeating at a summer party and the next couple days told all of our friend circle to send me emails describing how bad of a person I was "ignoring " her and that I needed to apologize. She was extra in her abuse as well, by creating rumors about my family, having a mentally impaired boy I went to school with follow me home and stare at my house for HOURS on the corner, etc.

I've always been sort of a lone wolf because I'm tired of being in a relationship with someone that treats me like shit when I did nothing to instigate it aside from existing.

If I were to have a friend long term irl I would probably assume they won't blank out or look at me weird for my likes and dislikes. They would make an effort to hang out with me and I with them, going out almost all the time. If we were busy I'd want them to call me or text me when they could so I know they care or I can have someone to talk to when my depression kicks.

I don't want a friend that's from a broken home and has gained a shitty attitude like it was supposed to happen.

nlogs. i fucking cannot stand them

there is a girl who wants to be friends with me so bad. shes a bit younger than me so hopefully with time she will mellow the fuck out.

but she is also manipulative as fuck and uses her self harm to bully her boyfriend into doing what she wants. like shes so messed up in the head but refuses to actually do some fucking work for herself to ensure that maybe at some point she can get her mental health stable.

>>195324
What's a nlog?

>>195325
not like other girls

I'm not good at making friends because I am forever fearful of their vengeful judgement. I constantly project my own shortcomings and guilt onto other people and shrink away from them with my tail between my legs. If a friend is trying to get actively involved in my day to day life, or set up daily lunches, rituals, literally anything I suppose another more rational individual would consider just a gesture of close friendship makes me want to run away screaming.
You don't want to find out I'm really smelly and depressed most of the time, and I have no impulse control and go through periods of getting up angry in the mornings for no reason. I also will compare myself to you and your life quite a bit, unless of course our lives have more differences than similarities, and then, why would I want to pursue a friendship with you?

I don't like friends that get angry playing games. If they can't understand how their mood may affect others, I'm out. Playful physical contact is a huge no no, that mostly means punching or pinching. Sometimes a friend touching my hair or something is admirable and endearing rather than creepy, but it's a fine contextual line.

Uhhh, if a friend is overly sexual. I just am not by contrast. It doesn't even have to be a matter of them putting moves on me, but more in the vein of never shutting up about pennis or constantly looking for unfunny innuendo

Also friends that are super edgy or reckless in terms of pressuring you to do stupid bullshit. A friend that begs is also an avoidable one. Begging itself is extremely pitiful. Putting a friend in that position makes it downright ruuuuuuuude.

I feel like writing a novel, sorry in advance.

I have given up with having a close friend and feel so much better. I love my casual pals, we just have fun and keep things light. I wish I did it long ago. We are there just enough emotionally for one another but not so deep in each others' shit where we clash.

Deal breakers for me (from experience) are:

Someone who bottles everything up and doesn't tell me when they have a problem about something and instead holds it against me until the end of time, taking it out on me indefinitely. Worse, if they talk mad shit behind my back to mixed people instead of to a few they are close with. Bye.

Chronic complainers, mostly about their situation, social issues, health, people they choose keep in their lives, or WEIGHT, that's a biggie, and do absolutely nothing to change things.

Someone who flakes on me constantly. Or worse, lies to me about why they are flaking because they want to save face instead of just being honest and saying they are not in the mood to keep our plans. ("I'm sick, I'm broke.") Even worse, they are the ones initiating the plans they cancel on. Obviously I am totally cool with cancelling plans, but I have had a few friendships where 80% of the time they would cancel because of being "sick" or "broke" then post about some other thing they did on social media.

Someone who decides to become competitive with me. I want to support and love my friends, not compete with them. Everyone can feel jealous or competitive of a friend, but taking it out on the friend is not cool.

People who emotionally dump on me about every little thing. My fault for enabling in the past, completely, but I still find people who want a free therapist, like anon mentioned above, and think the world only revolves around them. One of my "best" friends for 5 years didn't even know how to spell my name correctly or when my birthday was, her head was so far up her own ass. But she would call me every day to complain about the petty things in her life and get mad when people didn't remember tons of little shit about her.

Someone who has problems with so many little things and constantly bitches and can never seem to be happy. Usually goes hand in hand with the stuff above.

I am also incredibly wary of people who don't work or who have poor spending habits. (I'm an oldfag so obviously this is for people around my age who are not students.) Typically hanging with them becomes impossible because they are always "too broke" for everything and doing anything that involves even a penny with them because incredibly stressful, despite wasting their money on junk. Or anyone who tries to emotionally manipulate others into paying for them while they waste their money on dumb shit. It's nasty.

In general I am wary of people who are strong SJWs and radfems, but I don't really have an issue with being friends, however it's usually a casual acquaintance kind of thing so we never have "those talks."

I can handle dramawhores if they just like petty gossip, even if it's not for me. I'm pretty jaded about the above now and cut people off as soon as I sense it and honestly I have never been happier.

There's a recurring theme in all my attempts at friendship, and I can't really put my finger on what it is. I know it's me, not others, but I don't know how.

I'm basically a bit paranoid that people only talk to me out of politeness, pity, or a desire to fuck me up. I don't know how to get close to people either, so I tend to be "a part of the group" (and fit in well enough) but not exactly friends with anyone - whereas everyone else seems to be friends with each other.

This always leads to me being left out of all group chats, outings, events, and hangouts, at which point I go into "you don't fucking care about me I'm not even part of the group" mode, at which point at least one person doesn't want to deal with my shit anymore, blocks me and never speaks to me again. The others start seeing me as an annoyance/a psycho and grow increasingly silent too.

I know it's a shit attitude from me, but I don't see any reason to stop myself from doing it, so I just don't. Between "being in a group" while never being a true part of the group and being alone, I'd rather be alone. At least then I don't have something to constantly remind me of what a failure I am. And no, sucking it up and accepting being left out doesn't lead to eventually being included. Not ever. So I'd rather let it be known that I might be an outcast, but I still have some pride and self-respect and I'm not going to keep trying if they don't care.

As you can probably guess, I have had plenty of people in my life who befriended me only to shittalk me, "lowkey" bully me (constant backhanded compliments), or simply outright bully me and when I got mad they went "oh anon we're friends I'm just joking tee hee".

So basically - constantly leaving me out of things is a major deal breaker. So is said bullying. I don't really mind SJWs or people who are annoying generally speaking if they don't try and drag me into it (so plaster your facebook and tumblr with whatever bullshit you believe in, as long as you don't bring it up while talking to me I don't care).

Sorry for long winded rant, but bottom line is that I don't have friends and never had, and the few times I tried it fucked me up. Am willing to put up with a lot of shit for someone who really tries to be close and doesn't treat me like I'm either invisible or garbage.

>losers
There are many kinds of toxic people, but the common thing to all of them is they are deeply unsatisfied with their life/themselves. I know their failures will fuel their constant negativity, which will spill onto me in one form or another.

I'm so done with being dragged down. Get on my level, or get lost. Unemployed? Low self-esteem? Do drugs/drink/engage in other unhealthy behaviour? Mental issues? Not willing to put up with that anymore. We're in our mid-thirties, if you haven't sorted out yourself and your life by now, stay out of mine.

>>195339
>Someone who flakes on me constantly.
>Even worse, they are the ones initiating the plans they cancel on.
Fuck I hate this. I've abandoned friends because of flakiness, but its so hard to find reliable friends that I just put up with it now.
>they are always "too broke" for everything and doing anything that involves even a penny with them because incredibly stressful, despite wasting their money on junk
This one is annoying, but the vast majority of people are so unbelievably bad with money that it's best to just put up with it. (I can't keep a personal budget but I can find the hypotenuse of a triangle!)
>Chronic complainers
I'm guilty of this one. People have pointed it out, too. I know I annoy people though and I'm working on complaining less. Also I always strive to improve the aspects of my life that I complain about.

>>195315
>any extreme stance on anything/getting too invested in politics and religion
Same. I stopped bringing up politics with people because they either go full SJW or full KKK. Real life feels like an episode of South Park now.

I stopped putting up with these two things:
>people who contribute nothing to the conversation/group and just hang around and listen
>people who bring their bf/gf everywhere and expect you to include them in everything and be friends

>>195353
>>195339

I'm in my late 20's and starting to become more aware of my choice of relationships (granted, I am in therapy).

>>People who emotionally dump on me about every little thing. My fault for enabling in the past, completely, but I still find people who want a free therapist, like anon mentioned above, and think the world only revolves around them. One of my "best" friends for 5 years didn't even know how to spell my name correctly or when my birthday was, her head was so far up her own ass. But she would call me every day to complain about the petty things in her life and get mad when people didn't remember tons of little shit about her.

This sounds very familiar to my current situation with my best friend.

Unfortunately, my best friend (who I consciously chose due to his issues in hopes of helping him out) has a ton of issues still, and gets jealous when I have anything good happen. If things are going well for me, he will pout about his own issues and instead of saying something like "Congratulations!" he will ignore what I said and start complaining. I know it's because he is miserable, but he literally chooses to be miserable (pushes people away who try to befriend him, shuts himself inside his room/house, and refuses to plan for his future as an adult man).

I met him online and then in person with both of us knowing he was a "project" and my goal was to fix his dismal life, but we ended up becoming very close in the process. He was making progress and feeling better about himself/life, but I had to move away and once I did, he unfortunately regressed into his old ways and is now miserable again. When he started improving, we had so much fun together, and we were happy for each other. Honestly, being with him during those months in person were some of the happiest of my life. We would go out and talk and have fun sometimes until the early hours of the morning. There was never any awkward silence, and I never felt such a connection with anyone before.

It sucks, because I really love my best friend, but if he doesn't pull himself together in the next year, I'm going to have to put a quit to our relationship for my own sanity. I've tried to encourage him to seek therapy/make good decisions, but he is either really into self-sabotage or has no insight at all into how his decisions are causing him to be unhappy. Seeing him so unhappy and complaining all the time, and unable to force him out of his comfort zone like when we lived in the same country is really hard on me because I've become so emotionally invested.

He's apologized a few times for his behavior and told me how it's because he is miserable and hates his life/he appreciates me being there for him, but I'm tired of him not being supportive of my life/dreams and always getting himself into situations where he is miserable. I know he loves me, which makes it hard for me to let go.

This next year is bringing big changes for both of us, so I'm hoping he'll be forced into uncomfortable situations that will make him happier. Otherwise, I don't see a future for our friendship. I know if he were happier, we'd have a great friendship like before, which is why I've been holding out for him to graduate from grad school and see where he goes from there.

Whichever way things go, I'm never going to try to fix a broken person again! Never, never, never again.

>>Sage for blogpost/rant

I can't be friends with people with a victim complex. They do no wrong, and never see that their actions could have caused the terrible "injustice" that happened to them.

A certain type of depressed person I also can't deal with, mostly because I'm dealing with shit myself. Basically people who put their depression on public display and mope all day. They're just way too draining for me. Everyone has bad days, but I mostly mean people who consistently do this.

Also people with no sense of humor. If I can't make dumb jokes around you then I can never be myself because I'm always tip-toeing around you.

I'm not sure if there are any things I wouldn't absolutely tolerate, but there sure as hell are things I can't stand in people.

I'm tired of needy people who constantly seek validation, expect everyone in the world to be their personal cheerleader, always ready to cheer them up and never criticizing them or actually giving advice on how to solve their problems.

Also sick of people who treat others as their therapists. Maybe I'm a terrible person, but everyone in the world has their own issues to deal with and maybe some people can also deal with other's issues, but I can't and seriously don't even want to. I don't want friends who frequently tell me how their life sucks and how they want to die and then have to (unnecessarily) worry about these people killing themselves.

Some more minor things I can't stand either are being needlessly edgy, being too attached to other people (be it partners or just friends) and needing to be constantly talking, texting, hanging out etc., whining about things but not doing shit to change them and always expecting other people to take the initiative and start conversations and when they don't, thinking they don't want to be friends with you or hate you.

Yet somehow I put up with most of this shit because I don't have the heart to tell people I don't want to be their friend anymore. I just try not to go along with the irritating behavior and either politely nod and laugh without actually saying anything or try to change the subject.

>>195364
That's a really good point anon. Thank you! I'll keep what you said in mind, especially when the time comes to possibly (likely, but I'm still stupidly holding out hope) end the friendship.

My nopenopenope list is as follows

>pompous people
>emotional vampires
>edgelords
>overly harsh people
>hypocrites
>NLOG
>emotional brick walls
>people with serious boundary issues
>people who treat baseless speculation as fact

Went through a huge friend dilemma this year with one friend in particular and learnt alot about the kind of friends are really dislike.

I really hate friends who cherry pick the quality's they like on you and dislike how you might be behind closed doors and away from a social environment. They don't understand that you have different modes aside from happy and chatty and switch to tired and very quiet. The friend I lived with this year was sturggling with alot of mental problems but would live through her internet friends. The group of housemates we were with she told us "we need to socialise in this house, if I wanted to be alone I'd of got a studio.", also constantly asking why I'm so quiet now and it's making them anxious. They meanwhile were allowed to slam around, be grumpy and snappy towards us and would kind of use me as a punching bag. I did not want to have to be therapy for her, I was ok helping out and talking to her but I wasn't someone to constantly entertain her and only be in the house for "bants".
Alot happened in this short year living together and one argument when things got to a head later ended up in myself being blamed for an almost suicide.
Basically friends who cherry pick, expect therapy and want to know every detail of your life and life problems. Friend who also don't get how you are so different to them so try to fit you in the mold they want.
Ugh making me think about it all makes me sick still.

>>195395
>we need to socialise in this house
just reading that pissed me off holy shit

won't tolerate in a friend
>needs emotional support constantly
>needs me to make decisions for them
>needs me to explain things to them
>needs to talk to me or see me more than once a week

necessary for it to work
>they need to be low maintenance
>they need to not be talkative
>they need to share a similar sense of humor
>they need to be capable of critical thinking

how much shit I'm willing to take
>absolutely none (lol I've definitely cut people off completely for doing one shitty thing after 5+ years of friendship. I don't have time for dealing with someone else like that)

red flags
>needs to be socializing at all times
>needs to be in a relationship at all times
>emotionally unstable (I have been diagnosed with depression and anxiety. there is really no excuse)
>dramatic (to the extent where I get brought into the drama. i am friends with a lot of people who create their own drama and tell me about it, which I like because drama is funny)

everything is taken seriously. i've gone for several months without any good friends because nobody has met my standards. everyone should learn to be happy alone and not settle for anyone romantically or platonically

>>195443
So you're only willing to settle for perfect human beings as friends?

>>195467
there's still lots of room for imperfection after my criteria, I think my standards aren't actually that high

>>195468
>>195443
Honestly, your criteria gives off a vibe that you're full of yourself and think you're better than you probably are.

>>195443
people like you are on my list for intolerable behaviors in a friend

>>195596
why is that?

>>195596
what exactly about it is intolerable

>>195694
Different anon, but some of the things that stand out about your list:

>needs me to explain things to them
I can't imagine wanting to be friends with someone unwilling to teach me things, who I couldn't teach new things to.

?how much shit I'm willing to take
>absolutely none (lol I've definitely cut people off completely for doing one shitty thing after 5+ years of friendship. I don't have time for dealing with someone else like that)
Again, vague. Idk how shitty "shitty" is in this case.

Other than that I don't think your list is that bad. You just sound like a pretty withdrawn person who wants similarly withdrawn friends, there's nothing wrong with that. If you had high standards and were going OMG NO ONE WILL BE MY FWEND :( that would be annoying but you even admitted that you value being happy alone.

>>195698
>needs me to explain things to them
OK, this I admit sounds a bit extreme. I just meant that I'd prefer someone who has a similar way of thinking I guess?

>"shitty"
I've broken contact with people for
>causing my boyfriend, my close friends, or my family any distress (on purpose)
>cheating on their SOs and expecting me to help them cover it up
>lying to me about something important
>taking advantage of other people in any way
>being willfully ignorant
>extreme attention-seeking behaviour (yes, it could be a sign of something more sinister, but I have my limits)
>being excessively narcissistic, borderline, histrionic, etc. - again, I have my limits
>complaining about things incessantly and refusing to do anything to improve the situation

which are all pretty bad, IMO, so I don't really get why I'm being told that I'm full of myself lol

Pretty much the same as >>195315, I can't stand
>backstabbing bitches who create drama
I come here for my fix so I don't need it irl. I don't understand people who feel the need to vaguebook every day or create a big fuss about taking some time away from social media. I'm totally okay with being outwardly critical, jealous of friends or agreeing to disagree but don't be two faced about it
>Victim complexes
Literally everyone has mental health issues but they have to be self aware of themselves and not make excuses all the time
>Snowflakes
Some confidence is ok but nlogs or self proclaimed intellectual gentlemen can get fucked. Too many first person pronouns is a red flag (hypocritical in a blogpost lol). I can't deal with people that have manic episodes either
>No emotional return
I'm a devoted loser so I don't mind doing the initiating for meeting up and I'm happy to do 90% of the emotional work, but I just have to be thrown a bone occasionally. I want us to support each other not just carry them.

The older I get, the more depressing it becomes that I can only be friends with people with similar mindsets, and most people who are interested in my immature hobbies aren't like that. My favorite types of friendships are those ones where you just show up at each others houses and do your own thing, but now everyone is working so much or getting married that never happens anymore.
I tend to be a surplus casual friend because I'm ok with falling back into a friendship with someone who hasn't talked to me in a while, but I'm not exciting enough to be someone's best friend.

>>195363
I'm sorry anon I went through something similar with my childhood best friend. At the end of the day we can only give so much one sided support until we run out, sinking more time into it won't better your odds.

>>195700
Yeah you still sound stuck up, you remind me of one friend I have who exhausts me because I feel I have to "perform" for them because they have such high standards and it's really just a projection method about how highly insecure they are. But I'm their friend because it's not their only quality and I don't take it personally. Can you not accept good people can do shitty things? Or that people make mistakes? The world is not black or white and people are only good or bad

>>195443
>>195700

You sound nitpicky as hell. If you do this then no wonder you don't have any friends, you're the problem not everyone else.

>>195918
if you feel uncomfortable in a friendship but you choose to stay in it then I don't really think you deserve any sympathy. If I were you I would drop that person or just quit "performing" and if they choose to leave then they leave

>accept good people can do shitty things
sure, but I don't owe anyone my friendship even if they're a "good person".

please let me know what was stuck up about the post? all of those are shitty things to do that I personally cannot tolerate. stuck-up implies that it's difficult or impossible to meet those standards, but there are tons of people out there who wouldn't match to anything on my list.


>>195933
I mean I actually have a good number of friends, idk why everyone thinks my standards are so high.

People always get upset with me because I have standards for my personal relationships. my list of stuff I look for in a potential boyfriend is really similar and that makes people angry for some reason? I'm not willfully engaging with people and complaining about them, I'm avoiding things that I don't like. this is not selfish or morally wrong, but for some reason it just really grinds some people's gears

>>195935
I'm not asking for sympathy, I'm happy to be that persons friend, they (like all people) can just annoy me but I understand why they're the way they are, and I know Im not perfect either. It's not bad to have standards for friendships, your wording just reads as cold, unfriendly, and holier than thou, humans have a natural attraction to warmth, security and relatability, therefore what you're saying would offend a lot of people

Things I've broken friendships over:
>Manipulative behavior such as trying to isolate me from other people (Huge drama over me seeing other friends and the bad friend making it an "it's either me or them" situation)
>Making me into an emotional dumpster but never being interested in my wellbeing
>Constant bailouts like calling the minute we're supposed to meet that they can't make it for the 10th time in a row due to some bullshit excuse
>The need to ridicule me all the time to feel superior
>Gossiping about personal things related to me and breaking my trust multiple times
>Suddenly dropping all contact for a prolonged time and then coming back like nothing happened and repeating this
>Making it crystal clear in a passive-aggressive way that they have better friends than me and they don't miss my company unless nobody else is available
And the worst:
>Explosive temper that makes you walk on eggshells all the time


>>195339
>I am also incredibly wary of people who don't work or who have poor spending habits. (I'm an oldfag so obviously this is for people around my age who are not students.) Typically hanging with them becomes impossible because they are always "too broke" for everything and doing anything that involves even a penny with them because incredibly stressful, despite wasting their money on junk. Or anyone who tries to emotionally manipulate others into paying for them while they waste their money on dumb shit. It's nasty.
THIIIIIIS. I'm an oldfag with a decent salary and people like this just assume I can always pay for everything and loan them money because they blew their bank account on expensive comfort items. People like this make me so fucking uncomfortable because they don't even attempt to control their spending and always try to make it someone else's fault. And not even that, they start acting seriously bitter towards you because you have money and they don't so you start to feel bad about having a stable source of income.
>baww my depression requires me to spend my money on etsy jewelry and lifestyle items, I have no money for food now and it's your fault!!!!

>>195305
>it's fucked up of me but because of getting burned by these types, i'm at a point where someone being open or public about being mentally ill is a major red flag. my mind just immediately goes "you're depressed? shit, so how many suicide attempts will i have to talk you out of?"
I feel you so much on this sister, honestly. I've been through too many depressed people who message me late at night to talk about how they want to kill themselves and I have to stay up to talk them out of it despite having work in the morning and crying my eyes out trying to help. Nowadays I just ignore people like this and just think "fuck, they're not going to do it anyway". It's sad but I never want to befriend anyone mentally ill again. If a new acquaintance starts exhibiting behavior like this, I just bail right the fuck outta there. People with BPD are the worst and if anyone says they have it, run as far as you can. You can't fix them yourself no matter what you do.

And the worst thing is that this is some sort of a taboo to talk about. The mentally ill person is always the victim and has the god given right to act like a spoiled toxic baby to everyone around them. All because of muh mental issues. Nobody ever thinks about how the people around them are affected by the constant self-destructive talk, negative behavior and martyrdom. I spiraled into severe depression myself after a few relationships like this.

Messy probably tl;dr story: One of my friends(A) got groped by another friends cousin(B) while intoxicated and the friend(C) with the cousin stuck by her cousins(B) side. My other friend(D) is dating another cousin of the same friend(E) who threatened the girl who got groped(A). My other friends are still friends with (D) and(C), and (D) is engaged to (E) now. Gave my two cents and they haven't talked to me since, how disgusting can people be?

I find it hard to make new friends but I've kept my friends from years ago. My problem is that I don't keep in contact.

>>195986
>Suddenly dropping all contact for a prolonged time and then coming back like nothing happened and repeating this

I HATE THIS
SO MUCH

>>196286
And that dumb bitch who always says no to going out then asks where was her invite when group goes out and posts pictures after!

>Male 'friends' who are really waiting for you to break up with your partner

For the most part I have shite luck with male friends. My biggest ABORT RELATIONSHIP button is when a male friend starts dropping hints that they want to be more than friends despite the fact that I let them know that I am married all of the time (I can't shut up about my husband) and how great my relationship is. Nothing makes me angrier than when someone I thought of as a friend turns out to be an orbiter in disguise. I've lost three 'friends' so far this year from that behavior. I don't get it. I am not flirty. I do not treat these people any different than my other friends. If I even detect that kind of crush behavior I drop like a bad habit.

>Nlogs, naturally.

>My patience has worn incredibly thin over insecurity.
I had a friend who had everything going for him (money, looks, stable life) but all he did was whine about not having a gf who was as perverted and open as he was. It got so fucking annoying. I also can't deal with super insecure women either. Another ex-friend of mine was so insecure that you can't even talk about another woman in her presence without her trying to demonize them for being attractive or deal with her depression when they're better looking than her and she can't find any negative traits in them to cling onto. Yes, she is fat.

>People who need constant validation in general.