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File: 1521485081313.gif (3.54 MB, 275x155, E85A07D5-F75D-4432-8566-9A572D…)

No. 235109

Crotchspawn hater?
This is your thread.

>why did you decide not to have kids?




you can decide not to have children and still behave like a decent human being around them.

No. 235110

>>235109
Personally I decided that I didn’t want the responsibility of another human and being a mom sounds terrifying.

Kids are cute when I can give them back to their parents (I used to babysit a lot).

No. 235124

>>235109
I'm only twenty so I can't say I've fully decided against having them, but right now I can't imagine myself as a mother. I think my mom is part of it; she always says stuff like "your kids are going to be complete brats" or "I feel bad for your future kids" if I'm being moody. It makes me feel horrible. I already was leaning towards not wanting children but when she started saying stuff like that it solidified it.

No. 235126

>>235109
>you can decide not to have children and still behave like a decent human being around them.

only when moms decide to stop acting like everyone needs to give a shit about their kids.

No. 235133

>>235126
This. And I have to say that I find women with children dumber than the average median. They only talk what their kids do, "Look, isn't he/she cute" and has to show pics of them as if anyone cares. They lack any actual interests that aren't tv shows or fucking gossip or of course their stupid kids.

The smartest women I know never had kids, and considering the number of worthwhile men to have kids with, it just makes sense.

I don't want to become a mother, I'm approaching 30 and luckily no biological clock is ticking. I think it's even more selfish to have kids these days taking into account the environment and the ecological consequences. Plus, the kids will grow up in an era where there will be fewer jobs, less financial security, a worsening climate and rapidly deteriorating ecosystem. Those would be my main reasons.

No. 235134

I hate the fat, dumb bogan breeder types that insist that being a mother is the hardest thing in the world. They often have like 4 or more children and are the same type to yell at their kids in public.

I remember reading a story in a girl's group on facebook about a mum swearing at her kids and then having a go at the person in the shop for staring. She swore and carried on and it was written in a comical way, but the lady said some shit like 'I SHOULD HAVE SWALLOWED'

Anyway, there was tonnes of comments from these fat breeder types laughing about the story praising the mother and laughing about how 'that's motherhood for ya haha'

I wrote a comment about how even though it's possible to lose your temper as a parent, and after working with kids with autism I understand how it's not right for strangers to gawk at you and your child in public, but I didn't think it was right for the woman to act that way in a public space and saying stuff like 'I should have swallowed' is damaging to the kid's self esteem and it's also inappropriate to say to a kid.

Anyway, all these assholes came out of the woodwork to say 'ur obviously not a mum' and one even went as far as to try and check my facebook profile for photos with me and a child to see if I was a mother, and then commented 'no kids? Fuk off!'

Anyway…I hate those types and don't want kids currently. If I do ever change my mind, rest assured I will not become one of these assholes.

No. 235146

>>235133
the other day i was on a date at the bar with my bf and this child ran BEHIND the bar, twice. the 2nd time his dad actually picked him up and he started fucking screaming. everyone in the restaurant including the bartender was just commenting on how cute it was. the fuck it was. that little shit was annoying and poorly raised. me and my bf looked at eachother and he loudly blurted out how he wished we could only dine where no children were allowed. i love him so much.

i don't mind kids if they're taught well and taken care of, but then, i don't notice them if they are.

No. 235147

>>235134
>>235133
people who breed tend to be really really rooted in basic culture/social norms, which is why they usually have kids. it's more cause they're 'supposed' to. like americans for instance. all american moms are the fat, dumpy 'american football, let me speak to your manager' type or the strung up 'my child is going to law school' mousey type. and they tend to be the last people who should be having kids. it's unfortunate.

No. 235177

>>235147
This! I'm an American, I live in a really religious conservative town in the south and people are constantly asking me when I think I'll have kids. Not get married, not meet someone- they skip right to asking when I'll have kids. It's so normal here it's really expected, that's why teen pregnancy is such am epidemic, girls get pregnant and instead of seeing it as a life altering change of course, it's considered the girl taking the next step and "maturing" into adulthood/motherhood because having a kid is seen as a mark of maturity and responsibility.

No. 235184

>>235146
This.
I don't mind kids but unless your child is under 3 (in that case, should be easy to lift up and take away from the situation) and or has a mental impairment like autism or delayed response, they should NOT be allowed to have tantrums and carry on in a public space.

Kids will be kids but teach your child to be mindful of others and if your kid doesn't listen, remove them from the fucking area so others don't suffer. Gosh.

No. 235186

>>235147
relating to this, the number 1 reason i'm not going to have kids is because….i've never wanted to. i've never had 'baby fever', i don't feel paricularly maternal for babies. i don't fantasize about being a mom. when i've thought about what i might like about having kids it's all shallow, temporary stuff. i think with something that's so life changing for so long for both you and a potential human, you ought to really want it. People act like I need an excuse to not have kids, but I think they should have a specific reason to do it other than just social pressure or muh biological clock.

No. 235187

>>235177
Omg totally agree about the thing you said as motherhood being seen as maturity rather than age or the way the individual holds themselves. It's so prehistoric that people think she must know better/be sensible/be an adult because she's a mother. Are they not aware that dumb teenagers get pregnant and there is such thing as bad mums?

No. 235188

>>235187
hey, back in the day if you were a single mom with an alive kid, you probably were doing something right. now it's just too easy to mean anything.

No. 235190

>>235186
I go off and on the idea. At the moment I really don't want to have kids because mental illness and health problems are rampant in my family and I still feel like a child myself sometimes despite being 28. Yet my friends with kids and my 2 sisters with kids make me feel like I am not really feminine because I don't have any. Sometimes I think it would be nice but when i spoke to my boyfriend and told him I flip flop on the idea he got annoyed and complained that he does want kids and that it's not fair of me to say these things if I'm not serious about it. I told him I do, but get scared off the idea sometimes and was purely just voicing that I get cold feet sometimes. It's fucked because I love him and can picture us with a family together, maybe 2 kids max but then other times I imagine us travelling and being a kidless couple with lots of animals.
Sometimes I even think of me travelling and doing fun shit if he dumps me for the kid reason but then am terrified that I will hit menopause, my chances will be gone and I will be alone.

No. 235194

>>235190
same anon you replied to. I also feel less feminine when I see other women act out maternal things that just don't come naturally to me but I've kind of accepted that. i only want to have kids if its out of enthusiasm for the kids and being a mother, not out of fear of being weird or lonely or unfeminine. i feel like my mom had kids so she would have someone to fill the emotional void left by her own abusive mom, and the resonsibility of being her bff and yes-man made me so stressed out and self hating as a kid without knowing why. i'm so put off by motivations for having kids that are about running away from some fear, not embracing the idea of the kids themselves. Hope that makes sense.

No. 235195

>>235194
samefag but i think i'd feel way different if i lived in an era or place with no real birth control. i'd probably feel like, i don't particularly want to be a mom but i love sex so much that if i want to have it i should commit to being the best mom i can. however, i do have access to many birth control options so not actively wanting to have kids should be a perfectly good reason to refrain, and having kids just out of fear or social pressure is kind of irresponsible.

No. 235207

>>235195
Condoms exist, use those instead of BC.

No. 235217

>>235207
I do lol. That's my conctraception of choice. I don't really understand your comment.

No. 235221

>>235217
Condoms are available everywhere, you said if you lived somewhere birth control weren't available you'd just keep having kids. I can't imagine you living somewhere you can't buy condoms where you would be able to support multiple children without living some weird minimalist lifestyle away from society.

No. 235222

I couldn't do it. The thought of going into labor alone is enough to keep me from it. I'm amazed women see videos and know what they're about to go through AND STILL do it. MULTIPLE times.

I would be happy to adopt if I could convince my SO to, though. Not a newborn, but someone who doesn't have a home and understands that. It will be difficult in it's own right, but to me, it would be more rewarding to take care of someone unwanted than to bring someone entirely new into the world.

No. 235227

File: 1521511834463.jpg (47.88 KB, 890x960, 26734333_10208228030098168_695…)

>why did you decide not to have kids?

i mean it'd be easier to list the reasons why not really, but
>i'm bipolar, there's other mental illnesses like autism and schizophrenia in my family tree
>whole laundry list of physical ailments too
>grew up in a violent home, i'm choosing to end the cycle by just not having children, full stop
>mum miscarried twice when i was a kid, that was somewhat traumatising
>by extension, i have INCREDIBLE tokophobia. i can't be in the same room as a pregnant woman without feeling anxious, and i find videos of babies kicking or turning over in the womb absolutely horrifying
>i'm also probably infertile, so why bother wanting what you can't have?

i feel like i already did my time parenting, anyway. i spent most of my childhood parenting both my mother and my younger, autistic sister, and now i'm probably gonna spend most of my adult life trying to parent my inner child because that's something i missed out on in my actual childhood. i barely have the energy to love, care for, and nurture myself, without throwing a potential child into the mix.

other things, like partners/husbands who don't do their part/leave you to do all the emotional labour in the household, and only occasionally "babysit" the kids, and the fact that women seem to lose any sense of identity they might have had once they have kids (it goes from "hi i'm karen" to "hi i'm jaceyannelynne's mum", and all sense of the woman as an individual with her own feelings, dreams, hobbies, goals, etc is gone) are also big turn offs. women seem to really get the shit end of the stick in that regard, and i don't wanna participate in that.

with regards to children themselves, i don't mind well behaved ones, but even then only have a limited amount of patience for them. kids in general are just cunts, because their little lizard brains haven't learnt how to into empathy yet.

also, i'm a selfish bitch and wanna keep all my time and money for me, to share with my partner. i think that just about covers it all

No. 235287

Weird opinion:

I'm ambivalent about kids but would love to raise little clones of myself. Clones. I know what to expect I could raise myself well.

No. 235289

>>235287
Same

But not exactly for the reason you stated (I think they'd be different enough from me even as a baby) but because then it would be a kind of immortality. Kids have half of the dad's DNA, that's not good enough. If I could pass on 100% of my own DNA and also control how my clone will be raised, that would be lovely.

No. 235292

>>235221
condoms are a form of birth control, birth control doesn't just mean like hormonal. also no, condoms aren't available every where.

No. 235308

>>235289
Immortality is how I think of it too. And I've thought about it way too much. Hard to explain the impulse without resorting to weird evo-psych shit, but you don't propagate your genes more perfectly than cloning. I don't know if it would ever be allowed/legal but I'd foresee at least a couple of people seeing things this way.

If I could afford it hell, I'd have multiple clones.

No. 235341

always found pregnancy disgusting from a young age, found out it can rip your clit, you will almost certainly need vaginal stitches and can cause vaginal prolapse…
Went fuck no, got a tubal, never looked back lol.
I don't understand any woman who would risk sexual/urinary function like that. Maybe they didn't know

No. 235350

File: 1521529026648.jpeg (55.62 KB, 427x275, 7E28757B-BB1B-49F2-93AD-AA7BAF…)

>>235341
>RIP YOUR CLIT

What the fuck no

No. 235351

File: 1521529208245.png (23.16 KB, 514x286, 4BA5C9B9-826E-4FA6-9569-81DA2C…)

>>235134
>bogan

Bogan centerlink mothers make me feel like ripping my vag off.

They always look miserable

No. 235352

I'm almost 30 and my fiance and I have agreed on not having kids. I have fertility issues for starters; not that there aren't means of overcoming them, but I'm simply not interested, nor is he. We have a lot of plans for the future, children just aren't in the cards.

tbh, I feel an utter sense of dread when I see pregnant women or people with very young kids. The idea that my life wouldn't be my own, my time and money being devoted to the children just makes me anxious. Hell, you can hardly take a nap with kids running around, let alone do anything for yourself.

I'm just not cut out for kids and I don't have a maternal bone in my body. I'm not mean to children but I really avoid interacting with them. I'm super awkward with my 3 year old nephew, whenever I interact with him he looks at me like I'm a fucking idiot.

No. 235353

File: 1521530244562.jpg (89.59 KB, 632x627, IMG_20160307_193605.jpg)

>>235341
Holy fuck as if child birth wasn't scary enough to me. I didn't even know I could risk sacrificing my clit. No. Just no.

No. 235362

>>235351
Yeah and they are always the most entitled cunts. Come to shops and complain about the service/food/whatever and let their feral kids break and touch everything in the store. They also hate waiting for stuff and think by bringing all their maggots with them, it entitles them to skip ques all sorts.
Fucken bogans mate.

No. 235367

I completely respect all of you for not having children - there’s far too many humans anyway - but there’s some serious misinformation in this thread. Having even one child is hard because of how mentally taxing it is teaching someone to “human”… Ever dealt with someone vomiting and shitting simultaneously, whilst having not eaten all day and having slept for 2 hours max for months? And having to keep your cool throughout it all? It’s not easy at all. Before I had kids I thought people who showed their kids photos off etc were boring people, now I understand that you just genuinely do adore them that much. It’s like having the most intense interest ever, and I don’t think any of you would find someone boring for being really into something. Also - tearing your clit? Wtf? I honestly don’t see how that would be possible…

That all being said, I think women who have multiple children are stupid because there’s no way you can pay attention to that many kids at once. And women who scream/swear at their children need to GTFO, they make the rest of us look bad.

I’ll go away now, this thread got my feels as a new mom so I wanted to share what it’s like on the other side.

No. 235368

>>235227
Hey anon, we're pretty much similar. The only thing is I, fortunately, didn't grow up in a violent home and my parents were away most of the time so I had to take care of my bro. I really, really relate to this part:

> and now i'm probably gonna spend most of my adult life trying to parent my inner child because that's something I missed out on in my actual childhood.


I don't think not wanting kids for the reasons of time and money is selfish because the times we live in are so volatile in a political and economic sense and the investment of putting time and energy and money in raising a kid or more all for having your DNA maybe making it through doesn't seem worthwhile.

>other things, like partners/husbands who don't do their part/leave you to do all the emotional labour in the household, and only occasionally "babysit" the kids, and the fact that women seem to lose any sense of identity they might have had once they have kids (it goes from "hi i'm karen" to "hi i'm jaceyannelynne's mum", and all sense of the woman as an individual with her own feelings, dreams, hobbies, goals, etc is gone) are also big turn offs. women seem to really get the shit end of the stick in that regard, and i don't wanna participate in that.


This is so spot on and it happens more with mothers than fathers because obviously, mothers are more invested in their kids. But it's unfair since I see so many women doing most work with home chores and child raising and then they get cheated on with a younger woman anyway.

No. 235379

>>235227
>whole laundry list of physical ailments too
>by extension, i have INCREDIBLE tokophobia. i can't be in the same room as a pregnant woman without feeling anxious, and i find videos of babies kicking or turning over in the womb absolutely horrifying
>i'm also probably infertile, so why bother wanting what you can't have?

Same for me. I don't want to be pregnant in the first place because it seems horrifying and giving birth seems even worse, see >>235341, and I don't want to have kids because I want my own time and money for myself because I want to travel all over the world eventually and just treat myself in general. But mostly I don't want to have kids to discover later that they got one of those hereditary disorders that will fuck up their body if they're not diagnosed and treated fast enough that me and some of my family members have. I would feel way too guilty about this. Related to this, the reason why there are chances I'm not fertile is because of one of those disorders; I received a treatment for it and it worked but not as well as it was supposed to according to my doctors. So I don't even know if I can have kids in the first place because said disorder can delay your puberty (if you can even have one).

>also, i'm a selfish bitch and wanna keep all my time and money for me, to share with my partner. i think that just about covers it all

I don't think it makes you selfish. I think that would be selfish if you already have a child and decided to not spend your time and money on the kid tough.

No. 235382

>>235367
I get what you mean and didn't mean to come across so harsh, but I was referring to a specific type of mum. I bet you love your kids and explain to them why they are doing something wrong instead of screeching like a lazy fat parent.

Like those parents that just shove electronics in front of their kids to shut them up or give in and buy them candy after they throw tantrums for it. I understand they want peace and quiet but I'd rather be firm with my hypothetical kids than let them become shits. These are the fatties that come into Dome cafe with their brats and let them act like assholes invading other's space, being loud and not teaching them restraint.

Instead, they drink coffee and eat too many toasties while they gossip to Barb about my kitchen rules last night.

Finally when it's time for the Sheila to collect her spawn, they've destroyed half the cafe. And how does she call them that it's time to leave? GET YOUR FUCKEN ARSES IN THE CAR NOW. Infront of anyone and everyone.
Then she boasts about the true challenges of motherhood and how she truly loves her 'little bunch of assholes' or whatever crude trying to be funny term she comes up with. I probably sound harsh and I can understand kids acting up to a degree, but a lot of the times these behavioural problems are cause by the parent itself.

No. 235391

>>235382
AYRT but yah fuck those types of moms. Part of being a good parent is actually parenting then, not just being excessively proud that your reproductive system functions. Thanks for the kind reply, anon!

No. 235396

Another thing I hate is when I see women that only wanna have babies as fashion accessories. A baby turns into an adult and is FOR LIFE. People get bored of dogs after the grow into puppies and I feel like for some narcissistic parents this applies too. I want to bitch slap all my super young friends when they say shit like I can't wait to have a baby and go shopping for cute outfits to wear. It's not a fucking doll. Once Suzy gets old enough she's going to refuse wearing that ugly teddy onesie you always put her in for instagram photos. I'm not talking about parents that love taking proud pictures of their children but the ones who treat their baby like a doll or uploads thousands of carefully shot instagram photos with a million tags on a public profile for any creep or pervert to see. I find they often become overbearing stage mums that push their child into overachieving whether it's dance/drama/soccer/whatever OR they become neglectful after their kid isnt a baby anymore. Some purely have another to fill that missing feeling of having a baby around. It's so wrong.

No. 235397

>>235396
Also samefag, but a clit tearing? For real? I've never heard that. I only heard the anus muscles connecting to the vagina MAY tear but haven't heard about torn clits.

No. 235404

>>235397
not the clit itself but the hood can tear.

No. 235420

>>235397
Doctors often cut those muscles to make the birth faster anyway

No. 235422

>>235367
I want to say that I actually admire women who are willing to sacrifice their bodies and lives to give to another person. 2 of my sisters are pregnant right now, and I have mad respect for what they’re putting themselves through. It’s just that I personally don’t understand it, and I’m not sure what drives a person to do that. I don’t think I’ve ever felt it in myself.

No. 235424

>>235420
they shouldn't it's disgusting.

No. 235436

>>235420
Then they finish you off with a hubby stich. FUCK

No. 235453

I love children and think they're adorable, but I couldn't handle raising one into adulthood. I'm too emotionally fucked myself and even if I get better, I sure as hell don't trust other people to treat my kid well. I see what stress my mom experiences even when I'm an adult and fuck that. Mad respect to actual good mothers.

On top of moral nonsense, as other anons described birth is horrifying and pregnancy is disgusting. Plus there are enough humans on earth.

I can see myself as a fun auntie someday, though. An auntie with lots of cool animals.

No. 235463

Tbh whether or not I would get pregnant would depend where I was living and who delivered it.

My friend has two children - one delivered in France and one delivered in the US. Her first child in France was relatively easy for a first birth and she didn't require any stitches. Her second, which was supposed to be easier, ended with her cut, stitched, opened up, etc.

I don't know whether it's the difference in healthcare (i.e if you're paying, it makes more fiscal sense for a hospital to get as many births done as possible) or whether it was because she had a midwife rather than a doctor in France.

I would want a midwife if I was gonna give birth and am crossing my fingers the UK system is similar to the French system otherwise RIP my vagina

No. 235464

I like my body the way it is. Also, I value sleeping and not getting screamed at by baby Hitler every hour on the hour.

No. 235466

>>235420
That's horrifying. If the doctor has somewhere else to be, he/she can just go. No need to rush me. I'd rather be exhausted than sliced up.

I wish they only did this shit when it had to be done. There are way too many horror stories from pregnant women where they went through hell because it was more convenient.

No. 235468

>>235464
The fact you refer to as a crying child as baby hitler truly indicates you have made the right decision in not having a kid.

Don't worry, I am not being passive aggressive, I actually died laughing when I read that post.

No. 235469

I would never have kids because I feel it’s selfish, especially when you have genetically passable illnesses. Both physically and mentally. Like I don’t want a kid feeling like that want to kill them selves and not understand why, like what happened with me.

No. 235471

Well, luckily I'm fat and ugly as fuck, so no guy would want me. My mom did tell me that "I would change my mind" when I said that I didn't want to have kids.

My mom and dad won't admit it, but I was mistake. They had a one night-stand, and then I was born. And to top it all off, my father asked my grandmother if I looked like him. They both had multiple kids each with different people (Mom has 4, Dad has 3). They weren't together and never married.

I don't me or any kids I would have to end up like that.

Also, my house unstable and everyone fights all of the time.


And >>235453 too.

No. 235474

Honestly? Because I'm raising my husband's kids already. He had four…FOUR…fucking kids with two different women when he was young and dumb. I used to want kids but after raising them, and dealing with their shit, I just can't go through that again. I'm literally afraid of having my own children end up anything like those kids. It doesn't help that both of his exes were pretty high conflict and one is a meth head. I gave up my 20's to this bullshit. Two of them have already moved out, one will be graduating high school next year, and the last one will be gone the year after that. When they're all moved out and I never have to deal with their mother again I will dance for joy.

No. 235477

File: 1521558457037.jpg (51.59 KB, 418x482, 1521419005121.jpg)

I'm tokophobic and also just don't really like kids. I can stand being around them and they're fine when they're the quiet kind that just want to read but any more than a few hours and I'd be ready to strange a good 50% of them. Having a child when you know you wouldn't deal well with their shit just sounds like a bad idea. Plus I have a narc parent and she'd likely use the opportunity to cause drama in my life and hurt a child.

I deal with the same shit in my life, people bothering me about how many children I'm going to have as if zero isn't a correct answer. My response is generally pic related.

No. 235480

I don't really want kids because of the horrors associated with childbirth but I kind of feel like me and my boyfriend would make great parents.

I've worked in a creche for many years so I have a lot of experience and my boyfriend is great around kids. We speak many languages and we'd pass them down to them. I really appreciated being brought to the zoo, on camping holidays, going to ballet and drama classes, rollerblading in the park and I'd make every effort to give my kids the same. I'd read to them and buy them a mini science kit to play with so they'll grow up intelligent. Plus when I'm old I'll have company and someone to pass whatever wealth I have down to.

I just feel like the world is so full of shitty parents who don't give a shit about their kids because they didn't know what to expect or they had them by accident. It'd be nice to provide the world with a kid that was raised properly.

Is that weird?

No. 235484

>>235362
Oh anon the stories that I have from working in the complaint dept of a store.
Holy shit.

From “ I can’t find my kid I left it here”
(Kid was found making a mess in another section of the store)

To “my daughter had lemon and butters and I just noticed it has alcohol”

No. 235485

>>235463
French here, I've read stories on twitter about how that shit happens "a lot" in France too. Women were complaining about doctors doing that without even asking because "that's what we always do", among other things. I've also heard of doctors straight up shoving their fingers in the vagina of women giving birth from time to time to check if the baby's head isn't to big (which could lead to complications), but without asking, and the women complaining about it were all saying it was humiliating and completely useless at best. For some reason this has a fancy medical term.

No. 235518

>>235420
>>235436
Momfag again - I gave birth in the U.K. and they absolutely avoid cutting you unless you genuinely need it. Also I’ve had many friends give birth who tore/got cut and weren’t given “the husband stitch”… that being said, my mom gave birth to my sister in 1999 and tore pretty badly, and they accidentally sewed her fucking hole shut. She sued them because she had to be re-cut and sewn again. That’s the sort of shit that scared me, but it is rare that someone that sloppy will be working in labour ward.

No. 235526

I don't want kids because I just don't like them. They're messy and impulsive, and I have serious health anxiety and kids are little illness factories.

I don't hate them, and when they're around, it's not like I treat them like shit or abuse them, despite the conclusions people will jump to. I just don't like them and I think it would be unfair to both me and my hypothetical kids to bring them into the world knowing there's a risk I'd resent them for just being kids.

I know most people outgrow childish behavior, obviously, but what if they don't? And even if they do, I have to wait a minimum of eighteen years.

It's just not for me and I'm willing to admit that.

I've literally never wanted them, so even though I'm relatively young, I don't see it changing.

I don't hate all parents, but I can't stand the ones who carry it around like a badge of honor like they're a fucking martyr or something, even and especially when they're kid is normal and healthy. Like, you're not the second coming, you just had a kid. Something people have been doing since the dawn of the species. I don't doubt it's hard, but it's not not the hardest thing in the world.

No. 235581

File: 1521582153646.jpg (57.94 KB, 500x666, tumblr_orrzar9ixO1r2ddjro1_500…)

I remember the first time I realised I didn't want any kids, I was about 8. My first thought was - I don't want to spend a lot of money.
When I was about 9 or 10 (i think), I was playing with some friends and they kept saying how many children they were going to have and shit like that and I was just like "why are you thinking about that we are children ourselves". Since then it kinda "clicked" how women are always, always asked for children. Even my mom, that is pretty left leaning, would (sometimes still will) ask me about children. Honestly I never saw this kind of thing with my brother.

I've been saying since then and a lot of people still dismiss it, even though I am fucking 25 now. It wasn't just an edgy teenage phase of mine, especially considering I say this since I was a kid. I think my choice of not having kids kinda grew into an aversion of maternity in general because of how society deals with it, which is kinda sad imo.

So my main reasons:

- I don't like children. They scream, throw tantrums, and will drain the life out of you. I've seen how tired my sister had grown after her 3 kids. It's not for me. I don't know how to interact with children at all, I can't fake being interested in what they are telling me and can come across as rude even when I didn't want to. I feel like if I had a child I'd just cry everyday in the bathroom.
- The lack of freedom to do whatever really scares me. Like I can't think about losing my time and my will to take care of someone else. I feel like I wouldn't live my own life. The thought really depresses me.
- Being responsible for teaching morals and ethic to another human being, and possibly fucking up.
- Money. I'd lose a lot of it.
- As other anon said, I think I have a mild tokophobia. Pregnant bellies really irks me, and I thank god I've never seen it moving cause I think I'd be legit sick.
- Other consequences of being pregnant in general, like losing mobility, joints hurting, back pain, nausea, all that fun shit that I'd rather pass


That being said, I really feel for mothers. They are really neglected by society in general, here where I live. I try my best to help mothers even if I hate the children. I think it's helping absolutely no one how much maternity is glorified…. I guess maybe helping deadbeat dads. Yeah, makes sense, now.

No. 235583

>>235518
>they accidentally sewed her fucking hole shut

O looorrddd. Were the doctors drunk? How is that even possible? How did they pass medical school?!

adds to list of unlikely things to worry about

No. 235594

>>235583
some doctors are fucking retarded.

No. 235607

I work retail but this takes the fuckin' cake. A small child is screaming on the floor, in the door way of the store I work at in the mall. Just laying there and screaming into the floor. I see a woman walk past and I ask her: "Excuse me is this your daughter?"

She looks at the child, looks at me and says this: "I'm checking out at the register right now" in some tone, as if I'm inconveniencing her by pointing out that her child is making a big fucking distraction and blocking the entrance way. She walks ten feet to the register without gathering her child and not even look towards the child while checking out. Like, what the fuck am I supposed to do in this situation?

No. 235632

>>235607
You should have told her to pick up her misbehaved bastard and leave without buying anything, and to come back without it or when she can teach it to act like a human instead of a rabid monkey. Being "polite" to shitty parents who have no regard for anyone else and act like they're trying so hard and sacrificing so much by letting their kids scream annoy me. Yes, you're tired, and he may do this all the time- but it's your fault. There are plenty of ways to handle a screaming tantrum, other than forcing everyone else to share in your suffering. Taking the kid to the bathroom/outside for example, because letting it screaming a store is fucking rude and trashy.

No. 235637

>>235469
lol I expressed this idea to my therapist once and she cried. She passed it off as being sad for me because she thinks I would make a good mother, but I had to wonder if she agreed with me somewhat since her kid was struggling with some things.

No. 235642

>>235637
>Having kids is selfish.
>Therapist: "At least you'd be good at it" sob

I like how she couldn't even refute with a different perspective or anything, she just passively agrees while telling you to just do it regardless. A lot of parents resent their children, but try to hide it and lash out at others who are taking the option those parents didn't think they had.

No. 235692

>>235642
Yeah it's funny that happened a couple years ago, and I no longer see the therapist, but I shared a similar kindly worded sentiment with my mother recently (after she kept asking for grandchildren) and her response was that I needed therapy.

No. 235694

>>235607
retailfag also, I usually don't interfere with tantrums. Unless kids are running around unchecked or climbing into/onto fixtures and being a literal danger to themselves and others, it's not my job's worth. We're not a daycare – kids are the responsibility of the parent in a public space. In most cases the kids are fussing so much the parents leave the store. I am also not paid to lecture crappy moms about how to handle their kids.

I want to believe the kids get punished severely later on and the parents just don't want people in public knowing they smack their kids, lol.

On a related note, some family left a diaper in one of our fitting rooms a few weeks ago. Gross, considering a trash can is outside the room. Most especially gross because that's what a bathroom is for.

No. 235698

Anyone else feel bad for all the iPad babies/kids they see. Shit they’re going to have such shitty eyesight, techneck, attention span ect…

No. 235706

>>235480
Nope. Not at all.

You and your husband sound like you might make great adoptive parents. There are a lot of already-born unwanted kids out there just waiting for someone like you.

Personally I childfree by choice. Human overpopulation and environmental issues are probably my top reasons, followed by my aversion towards the idea of being responsible for another human life for the next 18+ (of course it'll be +) years.

I am auntie to a 3 year old and that's good enough for me.

No. 235724

>>235583
She had a home birth and it was done at 7am, in a dim room by a tired midwife. Standards have improved a lot since then, so don’t worry!

No. 235773

>>235692
That’s all? Just therapy? Lolol not trying to one up but I thinks that hilarious actually, not passive aggressively.
Lolol I told my mom I was scared of having kids for the reason of not passing genetic problems and she slapped the actual dog shit outta me, accusing me of calling her a bad mother. That’s what took the cake for me about not having kids. If having kids makes you so paranoid of failing and sensitive about thoughts about you, it’s not worth

No. 235778

>>235773
>if having kids makes you paranoid and sensitive to thoughts about you, don’t have kids
Totally agree with this.

No. 235793

>>235698
very much so. I used to get so mad at my mom for not letting me use our family computer growing up (I'm only 20 so for the most part I had the internet growing up) and I didn't get my own computer until I was like 15, but I know I would never have gone outside or read books if I had full-time internet access as a kid so I'm grateful in hindsight. Even playing and finishing video games was probably better for my development than browsing image boards/forums/youtube all day. It's part of the reason I'm hesitant to become a mom honestly, I don't trust myself not to take the easy way out and my kid would probably be nearsighted and ADHD as fuck.

No. 236057

I want kids, but i want them later after I’ve done all the shit I can do for me and my SO. Honestly I’m just so scared of losing myself. I’m scared I’ll turn into this wet blanket of a woman who’s only life is her kids and her husband. No hobbies or passions. Just the same old family day in and day out.

I also get freaked out by the idea of becoming this frumpy old maid. Like part of me looks at my hobbies like fashion or interior design and I think about how someday I’ll talk myself into settling. Something like, Oh you’re a mother, why not just by cheap ugly JC penny clearance clothes! That sleek entertainment system and white couch? Swap it out for some ugly shelf that can hold toys and a black couch to cover up the poop/pule/pee stains! I’m a mom guys, I cant be bothered to put on some makeup and clean my house!! Real moms dont look good!

Call me selfish but im not going to settle like all my friends did in their early 20s. When I do have kids they are going to respect their environment and grow up with the best. Not settle because their mom got a hankering to get knocked up by whoever was stupid enough to go with the flow and believe her whenever he asked “is it okay if i cum inside??”

No. 236065

I never want kids, I've never wanted kids. I've pretty loudly proclaimed this in my family for a long time, and for a while they laughed it off saying I was "too young" to say that sort of thing. Now that I'm in my thirties my family stops asking, which is pretty great. They put all their hopes on my sister (who I'm pretty sure does want kids).

Reasons; I don't want to change my lifestyle. Other then wanting more money, I don't want to give my life up for a child. I've heard that's selfish, which I never understood because it's my life to begin with. That "selfish" argument always felt very sexist to me because it's implying it wasn't my life to begin with. I just hate the idea of giving myself up to that.

I also don't want my body to change. There are women who get back into shape or whatever after pregnancy but your body just becomes a different beast after putting out babies.

I don't like kids in general. I obviously can tolerate and not act like an asshole towards one. But I can barely tolerate a child acting out , it just makes me irrationally angry and I wouldn't want to put that on a child.

No. 236093

I'm like 98% sure I don't want kids. There's a 2% part of me that wants to when I think of it in the most idealistic way.

First of all, society is disturbingly in denial regarding the unpredictability of having kids from the moment they're conceived. While they're in the womb, there's literally countless things that can go wrong that I'm simply not willing to risk. Then once they're out, let's say you have a healthy baby/delivery and everything went fine. Those pregnancy related fears are a thing of the past.

Well, now you get more horrible things that can happen. No matter how great of a parent you are, you're kid could end up…
>becoming a hard drug addict or alcoholic
>getting sexually assaulted
>being shot or murdered in some other way
>dying in a variety of accidents
>getting horribly sick
>becoming an awful person
>marrying an awful person
>being imprissoned
The list goes on.

And even if none of these things happen, you're still sacrificing your entire sense of individuality and relationship with your partner. Your life now centers entirely around raising a human being that is entirely dependent on you not fucking up. Some people want this and that's fine, I however do not.

I also read this Time article about how people literally delude themselves into thinking parenthood is more worth it than it is. Like, the worse off your situation due to having children, the more you psychologically trick yourself into believing it's the most magical thing ever. It's an unconscious survival tactic.

This makes a lot of sense to me based on my anecdotal experience. I've definitely noticed the people who essentially had their lives ruined by having kids are always the ones who sperg the hardest about how you just can't truly be happy without them when it comes up that I don't want any. One got really real with me once and admitted it was all a facade and she was actually on the verb of mental breakdown daily.

Also, they just don't fit well with the lifestyle my husband and I want. We want plenty of disposable income and to travel as often as possible. That wouldn't work with a kid. Not to mention, I don't think I would make a good mother for many reasons and don't have much of a maternal instinct when it comes to human children.

No. 236151

>>236057
Maybe it's better not to have kids. My parents were in their late 30s when I was born and I've essentially become their caretaker. My mom is slightly disabled and bad at making friends so is really lonely now that my dad is progressing through Alzheimer's.

No. 236163

>>236151
Nah, i wouldnt have them late thirties, but I dont want them mid/early twenties either. I’ll probably have kids when I’m thirty.

No. 236516

File: 1521873103837.png (82.21 KB, 540x406, ssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss…)

>>235109
I was trying to have a nice lunch with my family at a refined expensive restaurant and there were like 9 babies there all screaming and none of their parents did anything about it. Also the woman behind us started fucking breastfeeding the sprog LITERALLY IN THE MIDDLE OF A RESTAURANT we were both pretty disgusted by it… like why the fuck would you ruin everyone else's atmosphere and enjoyment like that.

No. 236906

File: 1522051906530.jpg (924.79 KB, 1000x1333, tumblr_nb5hp8trXE1rdbzvxo3_128…)

I'm not mature enough, simple as that. I've never wanted children and I dont have the patience for children. Hell, I dont even like animals. I feel no tug to have children, and my family is pretty much nonexistent so I'd have no family to help me, same with my boyfriends family.
I am 25, 26 in May. I love to party, I love to drink, I love to dance and paint for twelve hours at a time. That's what makes me happy.

No. 236908

>>236516
>disgusted by a breast
Chill out anon

No. 236912

>>236516
>getting disgusted by breastfeeding

Grow up lmao, it's just a tit. Tits were made to feed babies with. It's not a big fucking deal.

No. 236920

>>236516
cool meme but you need to deal with your internalised misogyny like that’s literally what breasts are for

No. 236924

>>236516
I don't like children myself but being this ruffled over breastfeeding is silly. Like other anons said, it's what breasts are for.

No. 236933

>>236516
sorry man, gotta agree with everyone else. boobs are for feeding. at least it shut the kid up for a bit right?

No. 236935

>>236516
Actually I agree with Anon, go somewhere else to get your tits out. The fact is they're in a restaurant which people have paid to be there and eat. Nobody wants to see your baps while they're tucking into their meal.

No. 236936

>>236935
Maybe nobody wants to see your ugly mug in the restauran. Babies need to eat too and sometimes mothers want to go to a restaurant too. At least that way the kid shuts up and isn't crying the whole time.

No. 236940

>>236920
It’s not internalised misogyny to find it gross, it’s like any other bodily function like blowing your nose or wiping your ass, it’s rude to do in public, especially in an expensive restraunt. It’s not like I find the female body disgusting in and of itself. Seeing women naked in changing rooms or whatnot wouldn’t bother me.

No. 236950

>>236940
So where do you want the kid to eat?
The toilet?

No. 236951

>>236950
this is an anti-mom thread. also the bitch shouldn't even bring her kid to a fancy restaurant.

No. 236952

>>236951

>anti-mom thread


Talk for yourself lmao I am not anti-mom at all. I am just child-free.

No. 236953

Not that anon but my mom always managed to keep me fed as a baby without having to whip out her tiddy in restaurants and other public places.
There's such thing as pumps and feeding beforehand.

It's not that I hate breastfeeding moms, I just think public breastfeeding shows a general lack of preparedness. I don't buy "baby's gotta eat" when so many other parents find a way to do it.

No. 236965

>>236952
look at the thread title you moron.

No. 236966

>>236953
this. also everyone ITT claiming that tits aren't ~supposed~ to be sexual forgets that they are and unfortunately for them, we need to live in the now. breasts are sexualized.

another thing is that natural doesn't exclude something from being gross. most natural things are fucking gross, and we've been conditioned to think so on top of that, but whatever.


>>236952
>Talk for yourself
>>235109
>literally called anti mom thread

how about you talk for your self

No. 237001

>>236950
Yeah, leave it with a babysitter for God’s sake, if you can afford a $200 meal you can afford a babysitter. Or the baby change room.

No. 237039

>>235109
I don't mind kids, in fact I'm pretty good with them and have enjoyed babysitting before but I don't think I'm going to have any unless there's some rapid advances in human genetic modification. I don't want to bring a kid into this world and force them to have one of the several painful disorders in my family, severe adhd and the almost certainty of dying of a horrific cancer. My parents sigh about not having grandchildren sometimes and I feel bad, but I also feel like it would be cruel to give this shit to someone else. Plus I'm gay, so once my debts are paid off and if my wife wants children I might adopt. I want to make sure either me or my wife can stay home because I remember getting shuffled around between my parent's jobs and babysitters and hating it, but having a great time when my parents could be home. I know a number of people who were in the foster system and my abusive grandparents took in foster children for money so I think I would like to give one or two kids a stable home to keep them out of that.

No. 237043

lmfao at everyone who gets butthurt over the breastfeeding comment from that one anon. I think it's important to feed your baby as soon as needed even if you're in public but 1) it's common sense to not bring a baby that young in a restaurant, especially a fancy and expensive one, it's going to piss off everyone, including the baby and 2) going to a restaurant isn't as much a necessity as going to work or going grocery shopping or whatever, so if you have a baby to feed, don't go to a restaurant and bother everyone around you (including the baby). And flashnews some people don't want to anyone's bare chest in public regardless of the reason why someone would have their chest out.

>>236936
>Maybe nobody wants to see your ugly mug in the restauran
Pretty sure the ones who gets money from the costumers want to see her ugly mug, like the staff, you know. And the baby's presence isn't going to get the restaurant any money in that case.

No. 237054

It seems a lot of you hate mothers more than you hate children and that's sad.

No. 237058

>>237054
They probably have unresolved issues with their own mothers.
Projecting is pretty common, I tend to do that a lot.

No. 237061

>>237054
Pretty sure that's because you can't really blame small children for acting like children (as in, they don't know how to behave and not be noisy and a danger to themselves) so some people would rather blame the parents for letting their children do stupid shit and not look after them properly. At least I know I do, I don't know about the other anons.

No. 237062

>>237054
Or maybe the hate is legitimate because there are truly shit mothers out there.
What makes your perspective more valid than ours?

No. 237067

It's okay if you 'hate kids' but you'd still love your own children more than anything in the world, even if they really do turn out to be annoying brats.

No. 237077

>>237054
>>237058

Agreed with both


>>236966
>>236965

I did interpret it as "anti being a mom" thread, so I guess I was in the wrong indeed. I have nothing against mothers.

>>237067

Yeah, sure. That's why so many mothers literally throw their children in the trash. Recently a shitty woman in Brazil said she was glad her son killed himself because she didn't want a gay son. Mother instinct and such is a social construct.

No. 237083

>>237077
I'd say it's a myth more than a social construct at this point. But yeah a lot of parents, mothers and fathers, should never be allowed to have kids in the first place because they're irresponsible, negligent, don't want kids in the first place or straight up hate their kids.

No. 237089

Lately my grandmother has been calling me up and bugging me about when I'm going to "find a nice man and have some children." She's in her nineties and says she wants great-grandchildren before she dies, and even offered to help pay for the "wedding." I'm only twenty-two, I'm in graduate school, I'm a lesbian, and I don't want kids.

I've tried telling her that I'm too young, but she blows it off, saying she had my dad when she was eighteen (she didn't). I never want to become pregnant or give birth, I really dislike babies, and I'm still a virgin. If I ever do decide to raise children, I'd most likely become a foster mom for older kids because I think so many of them are rejected because they're not "cute" anymore. I do love her, but every time I call her I feel sick and anxious because I know I'm a disappointment to her because I'm gay and I don't want kids.

No. 237095

>>237058
>>237054
why would you blame children you sperg? kids are only shit cause their shit parents.

>>237067
can all the butthurt moms fucking kill themselves out of the thread?

No. 237096

>>237089
That really sucks anon, but you're doing what's right for yourself. I think your grandmother is just uncomfortable and insecure with your lifestyle. She wants you to get married and have kids early so you can validate how she lived. Because the thought of women having a different option makes her feel bad about her own choices-having kids young was an extremely tough and sacrificial choice to have made.
It's kind of a 'crabs in a bucket' mentality.

I'm lucky in that my own mother never really wanted to be a parent.
It's not something she's ever admitted, but I can tell she had me out of social and marital pressure. She was a particular and artistic individual who would've been happier childfree, even if she feels obligated to love me now. I wasn't a difficult child, but I was still a child who had needs and made demands as I got older. We had lots of fighting between us when I was a teen, because I was no longer a 'cute' and easily controllable little girl who would love unconditionally.
And despite her wanting a mother-daughter relationship as seen on tv, she never wanted to put in the hard work and blames me for us not having a stronger bond now that I'm an adult.

As a consequence of all that she's never nagged me about children. She knows how burdensome they can be, and that I'd probably be knockin' on her door for help.
It's probably one of the biggest things I respect about my mom.

No. 237181

In regards to the breast feeding mums in public thing, I'm in 2 minds about it.

I honestly don't care personally, fancy restaurant or not BUT and here's the but, it's about discretion.

Like sure, breasts are natural and 80% of people won't get offended, but there will always be people that will get annoyed, disgusted or angry.

There's nothing wrong with just bringing a blanket so you can still feed in public and not flop out the entire naked breast.

Some mothers (not all) do it as loudly and vulgarly as they can and try to make a big deal on purpose in an attempt to evoke some kind of confrontation so they can fight about how they have a right to breastfeed ect.

Their mindset is the same as people who vape in non smoking areas because 'it's not tobacco' or those cunty people who bring their dogs into shops and scream IT'S A SERVICE DOG if someone tells them to leave or try to pat the dog.

I truly think that it is sad that breasts are sexualised and it's sad that people are so disgusted by a baby feeding in public, but at the end of the day, female breasts are and always will be taboo and it's not like the world is going to change overnight, so maybe try to find a happy medium where you can still feed discreetly eg a blanket/or express the milk in a bottle before hand. Maybe you might find nude breasts not a big deal but some get offended and you should respect their viewpoint also.

No. 237188

>>236953
>>237001
>>237043
You’re all showing how little you know about babies and being a mom - which is fine and totally understandable, but maybe try some compassion. Being a new mom is frustrating and lonely for many, and getting to go to a restaurant could be the highlight of their entire month. Some babies (like mine) will not take a bottle so have to be breastfed, and therefore also can’t be left with a sitter. I don’t see why you can’t put up with a breast being put to its natural use for 5 minutes and have some sympathy for parents… once you were a baby too and you needed your parents to act in your best interests. You can’t be ITT condemning shit parents and then condemn good ones too.

>>236966
>we should continue to perpetuate the idea that women’s bodies are first and foremost sexual because I don’t want to deal with my own feelings on it
Yeah, don’t think I’ll do that tbh.

This thread honestly just sounds like a lot of you hate parents rather than children. “Anti-mom thread” is pretty weird considering all of you needed moms in order to be alive typing on lolcow. I respect everyone’s choice to have kids or not but a lot of the shit on here is plain sad. Wish I had the mental energy to get annoyed over boobs lmao!

No. 237189

>>237188
>getting to go to a restaurant could be the highlight of their entire month

How poor are you?
Also that still doesn't explain why you don't pump or breastfeed beforehand. I really don't know why you can't accept that some mothers don't do public breastfeeding. Or that public breastfeeding is really not that popular, especially in restaurants.

No. 237191

>>237188
That's the thing, a few anons here have defended breast feeding in public, I don't even care about it myself but a lot of society does. So to avoid either having uncomfortable arguments with entitled people at restaurants screaming at you to put your clothes on, or even having perverts ogle your breasts as you try to feed your child, for your own protection and for the sake of others, bring a blanket or pre express milk.
I often wish I could sunbathe topless so that I can get some sun without the tan lines but I know that there are children and families on the beaches that may get angry at me for doing so, so I sunbake naked at home. I also know that even if I go to the nudist beach in my state, that there have been many reports of disgusting men taking photos with drones and hiding in bushes. Is it because I hate breasts or women?
No. It's because I know how misogynistic the world is, and I would rather not expose my breasts to the world because to me it's not safe. If I ever become a mum, I would probably bring a blanket for dicreet feeding for those same reasons.
I don't hate kids or mums but I can totally see the other side.

No. 237193

>>237188
>Wish I had the mental energy to get annoyed over boobs lmao!

You DO have the mental energy to be annoyed over boobs though. You are literally bitching about the rights of boobs right now. You are getting your jimmies rustled because you are a mom and this is an anti mom thread. No, it doesn't mean we all hate our mothers or we hate all children in general, it was asking why you didn't want to have kids and why. Why come to a thread with strong opinions on children and not being a mother in general if you just wanna ass kiss mothers and kids and tell us we are all bitter evil bitches and not even listen to our arguments. If you read this thread through, you would find there are thoughts and examples similar to yours even though those people dont have kids but you choose to get offended at the extreme examples in this thread.

No. 237195

>>237189
Nothing to do with being poor, it’s the fact that people in public treat you like a pariah for needing to parent children, which this thread is clear proof of. Explained in my comment why pumping is sometimes not possible, and babies don’t work to a schedule. Sometimes they need feeding two/three times in an hour - because of that I have been forced to breastfeed in restaurants before. I don’t do it on purpose and neither does my kid, it’s just life.

>>237191
No one has ever screamed at me to put clothes on when I’ve breastfed in public, I don’t give a shit about people looking at me using my breasts for their intended purpose, sunbathing is not necessary to sustain a child’s life, and you are perpetuating misogyny by telling women to be ashamed of feeding their child because it involves a part of their body that has been sexualised by society. If you want to blanket feed that’s fine, but other mothers don’t and they shouldn’t be subjected to shit if that’s what they choose.

>>237193
I didn’t say “you are bitter evil bitches” but nice projection. I have actually commented ITT before agreeing with people, but on this I don’t and thought I would provide the other side, as some anons on here have expressed that they may want kids someday. Doing so is not being offended or “having my jimmies rustled”… that sounds like you in response to my comment tbh. Why am I not allowed to disagree with being told that I have to accept society’s misogyny?

No. 237200

>>237195
You might not give a shit about other's eyes but there are some mothers out there that actually hate breast feeding in public because they are naturally shy. Not only that but some actually hate the positive attention too. People coming up and saying 'good on you' for breastfeeding in public ect.
Some people just don't like it. Why can't you accept those people's views without labelling them misogynistic?

No. 237201

>>237195

>it’s the fact that people in public treat you like a pariah


>No one has ever screamed at me to put clothes on when I’ve breastfed in public


So which is it?

No. 237203

>>237195
I'm not perpetuating misogyny. I agreed with you that it SHOULDN'T be a problem. I listed reasons as to why it is a problem and why I would personally cover up.
I don't give a shit who does it, but I was saying I didn't think it was a good idea if you don't want to encounter sexist pigs or perverts. I wasn't saying don't do it but more, these are the negative things associated with breast feeding publicly, and be aware.
I'm not perpetuating anything and you are being ignorant if you think that just because I said I'd rather bring a blanket to make other's experience less uncomfortable, that makes me sexist and I'm helping the misogynistic agenda.
Do I think they are immature? Yes, but that's the world and I doubt me running through a shopping centre swinging my lactating breasts around screaming power for women is going to change the mind of the majority of this world.

No. 237361

>>237188
I don’t want to see your gross lactating tits when I’m trying to enjoy a meal. I don’t want to see some gross guy jerking off and smearing cum around when I’m eating either. Natural bodily function, intended purpose, whatever. It doesn’t mean I have to put up with it. A lot of people find a lot of bodily functions gross, doesn’t make me a misogynist for it. Deal with it lol

No. 240530

>>235109
I have MRKH, so I physically can't get pregnant or get periods for that matter. (thank god)

But there's not a day where my boyfriend whines how he wants kids, and multiple. Its difficult to have sex, so I used dilators to aid in that. (the surgery cost a pretty penny). We're too poor to get a surrogate or qualify for adoption. I think it was just fates way of saying "u dont want kids trust me".

No. 240532

>>240530
so you were born without a vagina?

No. 240536

>>240530
>But there's not a day where my boyfriend whines how he wants kids, and multiple.

Is there a typo here and you're saying he does keep saying he wants kids? Because that's an asshole move for someone dating a woman with MRKH

No. 240552

>>240536
there's no implication that he's implying it's her fault or anything, stop being so critical.

No. 240574

>>240532
google is your friend. I have external genitalia as anyone else, but my fallopian tubes didn't develop and my uterus and vaginal canal are under developed and too small. my body doesn't produce the hormones needed for periods and pregnancies. everyone who has MRKH is different, some could have one thing but not the other.

>>240536
he knew about it for awhile. he doesn't blame me, but he does talk about other options like mentioned before. But we cannot afford either (adoption or surrogate).

No. 240575

>>237361
>comparing breast feeding to jerking off
Confirmed for immature brat.

And yes, it does make you a misogynist. You don't want women to have the right to feed their babies conveniently and comfortably because it ~makes you uncomfortable ~ even though it take no effort to just look away.

Lactating titties gross me out too, but it's not hard to be an adult and just fucking ignore it. Jfc.

No. 240578

>>240574
you sound bitchy

No. 240581

I don't want to compromise my physical strength to harbor a parasite for 9 months and then be held financially responsible for it for 18 years and emotionally responsible for it for the rest of its life. Pregnancy is a huge drain on a woman's vitality. I have more important things to do than reproduce. I think it's a good option for women who can't leave any other kind of legacy.

No. 240596

>>240578
some of you are so sensitive LOL. calm down.

>>240581
in reality, its more than 18 years. most 18 year olds dont even know what they want to do with their life, and live and depend on their parents until out of college.

No. 240606

Because I've always disliked them even when I was one lmao

No. 240608

File: 1523080226008.jpg (25.32 KB, 480x480, 1aef53c0070909d302ae790ca7ee55…)

I hate when people say my life won't be "complete" without children and I will never be truly happy if I dedice not to have them. It's bullshit. I know a few mommies in their mid 40s that regret having children and not fulfilling their dreams when they were young adults.
I'm now 24 and absolutely satisfied with my life, can't imagine myself with a child. I feel sorry for teenage moms because they're missing out on the best years of their lives.
Raising a human being is a very responsible job and I don't think anyone can be a parent. Some people just don't have it, I don't have that maternal instinct, for instance. I feel like I could beat the living shit out of a kid who's throwing a tantrum or just crying.
Thanks no, I have 2 dogs that I absolutely adore and they make me happy.

No. 240610

>>240608
not a parent here. personally dont want kids for the responsibility aspect.

but i disagree with everyone saying ~regret fulfilling their dreams~. I'll be blunt. if you have money, having a kid or two does not effect that. I've seen some women in their early 20s, still traveling, doing their hobbies, etc. while raising a kid. Simply put, their income is more sustainable. For a lot of people, obviously having a kid reduces their income, so it makes sense when people would say they didn't get the opportunity to travel or do fun things. To be rash, if you have the money, and can afford both your dreams and want to be a parent, go ahead. just not my cup of tea.

No. 240611

>>240608
show us your puppers :)

No. 240694

Don’t want kids. I’m living a happy life with my SO and our beautiful dog in my dream city. Why spoil that with a sprog?

I like kids well enough, don’t get me wrong. But I work with them every single day, and I’ve no desire to come home to another one after a long day at work. I already joke that I’m basically a “mom” for most of my day, anyway.

And honestly, the way that most women totally compromise their identity when they have a child freaks me out. Having kids actually alters your brain! No, thank you. I wanna keep my gray matter, thanks!

No. 240699

sometimes i think i'd be a pretty good parent to an older child (7+ at least) but when i think about stuff like looking after a sick child who's home from school i realise that years of that sounds like hell to me. i have a seriously weak stomach and immune system issues, my main reason for not usually liking being around kids is that it feels like they're always dripping or sticky or coughing with their mouth uncovered. it's just a kid thing, i get it, but that doesn't mean i want to be around it if i can avoid.

i also hate the idea of going on holiday with children. i've seen rich families have multiple holidays a year to various countries but i don't envy it. i've never really been able to travel much so when i do get to i don't just want a few years of getting to do what i want to before it becomes a family holiday of either trying to cooperate with a child who isn't interested or just standing around to take photos of the same thing over and over. i think of all the couples who start travelling again when their children are old enough to not have to come and how much they prefer that and decide i'd really rather just stay selfish and get to just do what i want when i get the chance

there's a few other reasons still but i just don't want to be tied down as a mother. no matter the circumstances i think you lose part of yourself because so much of your life is tied to someone who relies on you and i don't want that in my life

No. 240703

I'd love to have kids but its so hard to raise kids in todays world
If they're rich and get a good education they turn into mental illness snowflakes
Middle classed ones turn into emo fucks who drain your money
Poor ones.. Well we know how that goes
Yeah theres some success stories but if we're being honest, thanks to the internet, other people raise your kids more than you raise kids no matter how hard you try and people will think youre evil if you want to cut off your kids internet access

No. 240710

File: 1523158818863.jpeg (75.27 KB, 500x500, 294F23EF-D02E-4C7B-8A66-76CD52…)

>>240703
I agree, I've thought about adopting when I'm much older since I do like kids (and have no interest in birthing one)but I know for a fact I'd be worrying about them 24/7.
I'd hate for my kid to grow up in a world where they can easily find a bunch of fucked up shit/come into contact with predators on the internet , sure there's a lot of child blockers and such but you can't protect kids from everything. Same with the possibility of outliving them, I don't think I have the mental/emotional capacity to deal with that.

I think calling kids parasites is a bit much, but I get it,kids can be the fucking worst. My biggest gripe is kids and their parents with poor manners/no discipline. Or parents that just assume just because you're nice to their kid they can just leave them with you as if you're a fucking babysitter, I hear this especially happens to cosplayers at cons quite a bit. Early motherhood seems like a huge drag, I have a couple of friends from Highschool that gained a bunch of weight and had kids in their super early 20s, but they're all people who never really had lot going for them y'know? Sure they were the type that had a lot of friends but like, after HS they become moms and that's just their life now, no hobbies/other
interests/career/school goals just posting about their kids all the time and just being at home. It seems like a dull life and sometimes I wonder if they regret it.

No. 240717

>>235367
This is old, but:

Having children is a choice. This is something parents seem to always conveniently forget. Complaining about how "hard" it is doesn't help others empathize because, guess what, you chose to have a child.

No. 240720

>>240717
Ugh, this. I think I hate “martyr” parents more than I could ever hate a kid. Parenting does seem tough and sometimes even thankless—and that’s why a lot of people choose to opt out. It’s sad that some people don’t get the choice, but I’m extremely grateful that I do. I think that most parents are actually quite miserable and just want you to be miserable along with them. They’re happy for the Kodak moments, sure, but they seem to relish in the thought of other potential parents going through the same struggles they did.

No. 240729

>>235466
this is old but lmao, no. it makes the birth faster so the baby doesn't die in the vaginal canal from no oxygen.

No. 241017

>>235287

If I could clone myself, I'd be tempted to do it just to find out what I could have been like if I'd been loved and cared for growing up instead of being forced to raise my siblings and placate my monster of a mother. like - what kind of person I could have been if I'd had a childhood. That's basically the only fantasy of motherhood that remotely appeals to me.

No. 241057

>>240729
Nayrt but the baby gets its oxygen through the umbilical cord until it’s cut. Usually they wait until the baby is out to cut it, too.

No. 241059

>>241057
…babies can suffocate in the birth canal.

No. 241060

>>240717
Anon having children is not a choice if you life in a state you can't abort. Contraceptive methods fail. Many women can't give up their children for adoption because of societal pressure (to be a good mom, to not 'abandon', etc), don't be selfish and stop thinking on your white upper class sphere only

No. 241085

>>241017
I think I'd be a good mother to myself, I'd get myself the best sort of education I could, have mini-me do the childhood activities I could not like summer camp etc.

I was a very well behaved child so it would be cozy.

No. 241086

>>241060
i hope this is fucking ironic, because it's cringe. having children is a choice because having sex is a choice. also the parents anon is talking about are always so eager to tell everyone how the chose to have children.

>implying that states that don't allow abortion aren't shitty white bible belt states


fuck off.

No. 241118

>>241086
>having sex is a choice

So you don't have sex because you don't want children, right?

>implying that states that don't allow abortion aren't shitty white bible belt states


You are literally only thinking about USA and nowhere else. You don't get any more white than this.

No. 241120

I'm torn. After being through the system myself I really want to adopt children someday, to get them out of that shithole and into the home of someone who will actually educate and love them, but…

1) the economy is shit, so I have no idea whether I'll even be able to afford a cat let alone a house/kids/etc.

2) the environment is shit, so who knows what the future will hold for them in that regard.

3) all my friends would be judgemental cunts about it because they're pretty extreme people who hate kids and talk about "deep" things a lot. They're all childfree and while I love their strange lgbtwtfbbq/artsy hipster asses, I know they'd probably stop hanging out with me.

4) I would probably fuck them up as much as my mom did to me

So, I stick to cats.

No. 241128

>>241118
Not that anon but aren't most countries where abortion is illegal also religious countries? I think that would make them equivalent to "white bible belt states" in that aspect.

No. 241134

>>241118
you said state in your fucking comment.

>is not a choice if you life in a state you can't abort.

>state

gtfo with your high horse shit and kys. this thread isn't about poor 3rd world countries, it's about shitty middle class moms being fucking cunts. don't you have brats to watch?

No. 241182

>>241134
>gtfo with your high horse shit and kys. this thread isn't about poor 3rd world countries
>USA is the only first world nation that doesn't have legal paid mathernity leave
Why don't you go stuff yourself with corn syrup in Walmart and stop pretending BurgerLand is any kind of standard.

No. 241186

>>241182
lol nice b8 m8

No. 241189

>>241186
I was being serious, but I accept the compliment.

No. 241191

>>241189
nta but the person you're talking to responded to a comment that literally used the word states, and you are totally ignoring that to be a cunt.

No. 241193


No. 241195

The whole concept disgusts me. Letting some guy bust a nut inside me, have his genetic shit inside my body, and that grows….inside of me? Into some kid. Then I have to force it out and deal with some primal stuff I'm not scientifically versed enough to explain making me like it. No thanks.

Kids are adorable though! I just don't want to have one.

No. 241198

>>241195
I feel the same anon.
It feels so alien to think something like that can happen inside of me. It's very disturbing how a lot of what I feel and think can be easily manipulated by periods/preagnancy/breast feeding hormones, what is even "me" then?
Like some kind of bad scifi.

I used to dislike kids a lot, not so much now since I realised I was projecting my mommy issues on them. Preagnant women still make me uneasy though.

No. 241268

>>241198
no matter your sex, "you" are equivalent to a swarm of bees arranging themselves to look like a coherent mass, except its individual moments, moods, and ideas taking the shape of an ego. hormone fluctuations and mood swings just make it more obvious.

No. 241365

I have 0 desire and although my partner wants them, it's not right to have a kid if one parent doesn't want to. I told my partner he's free to go find someone to have kids with, but I don't want them and probably never will.

No. 241394

I'm so on the fence about it, really. I like kids and think I might want to have one someday, but I'm also scared of giving birth (just getting my IUD hurt bad enough, I can't imagine the pain of pushing a baby through the cervix) and the changes pregnancy makes to the body/vagina. I feel like if my current partner and I had kids he wouldn't be attracted to me anymore, which might not be the best sign anyway.

Also more practically and less emotionally, raising kids is expensive and I'm young enough where I want to use what very little money I don't use on necessities/living or put away in savings on my hobbies, rather than pop out a kid. If I had a kid I know I would do everything in my power to give them the best life possible, so before I potentially do that I want to at least try to enjoy my own life first.

No. 241397

>>241086
>having sex is a choice
So is literally everything else that makes life worth while.

Have fun having a healthy happy relationship completely void of sex for the rest of your life.

Also
>implying having sex is always a choice
Right, because no one ever becomes pregnant outside of consensual encounters

No. 241403

I hate how people always talk about how pure and innocent children are. They are actual sociopaths. It is literally Psychology 101 that children have no grasp of right or wrong and lack empathy. I also hate the idea way too many people have that the life of a child is worth more than an adult. This makes no fucking sense. Children grow up to be -spoiler alert- adults, so then their lives will be worth less to the very same people who feel that way in just a matter of years. People lose all sense of logic when it comes to kids, it's revolting.

I actually talked to a crazy guy once who said any adult who wouldn't gladly sacrifice their life for a child they don't know is a monster. Like… what the actual fuck? So, I should feel morally obligated to sacrifice myself and ruin the lives of my parents and husband for some random kid, who this guy wouldn't consider the life of worth as much in just a few years, and for all I know could grow up to be a fucking rapist or some shit? This piece of shit also believed women shouldn't be allowed to abort even if they were gonna die, so I wasn't even the least bit surprised he would say something like that. People who worship children to that extent are genuinely a cancer to the planet.

No. 241414

>>241403
>children are innocent
>sacrifice your life for a child

It disgusts me on a guttural level too anon. Sometimes it's hard to articulate why because those platitudes are normalized in our society (especially for women).

Did you ever notice the people who perpetuate these sayings are often hypocritical trash to boot?
Like they're the types who believe their own children are innocent, but that other children (particularly the ones who get in their way) are the ones capable of being horrible.

Or that anyone should be willing to take a bullet for their little johnny, but if asked to sacrifice their own lives for someone else's brat they come up with a million excuses as to why they can't.


If any of this were true then no child would be in a shelter or on an organ donor waiting list. None of those "children are innocent and worth dying for" fuckers are lining up to donate their organs or open their houses (and wallets) for these sweet lambs. I wonder why?

The reality is children are just as disposable as an adult, but nobody wants to think that way about their own loved ones. So it tends to only apply to their circle, but not everyone else.

No. 241415

>>241403
Children have more potential to be moulded into good productive people than already fucked up adults. I think that's the distinction with the whole innocence thing

No. 241417

>>241403
How can people genuinely think children are sweet and innocent if they live in the real world? Little kids are monsters. I'm still fucked up from some of the evil shit done to me by my classmates when I was in elementary school.

A group of boys almost fucking drowned one of the down syndrome kids at my school and the only thing that kept then from actually killing him was a teacher stopping them. FFS just look up murders done by children, they're almost always at the same level of brutality as fucking adult serial killers.

>>241414
>Or that anyone should be willing to take a bullet for their little johnny, but if asked to sacrifice their own lives for someone else's brat they come up with a million excuses as to why they can't.

>If any of this were true then no child would be in a shelter or on an organ donor waiting list. None of those "children are innocent and worth dying for" fuckers are lining up to donate their organs or open their houses (and wallets) for these sweet lambs. I wonder why?


This so fucking hard. I never see people who say this kind of shit signing up to be fostor parents or organ donors. Not to mention, the vast majority of people who feel this way (at least the ones who take it to the extent of anon's example) don't even want safety nets on place that help these kids fucking eat if it means it comes out of their tax dollars. So yeah, I don't want to hear jack shit about ~sacrifice yourself for the children~ especially from people who can't even handle sacrificing a small portion of your paycheck so they don't starve.

No. 241418

>>241403
>>241414
well, tbf, i think sometimes the "child life worth more than adult" isn't because they think the child is inherently better than the adult but because adults have had decades to form meaningful experiences, accomplish things, and self actualize, and children haven't. It's why people find early death in general to be tragic. At least if you die old you might be able to say you had a rich full life.

No. 241421

>>241415
Yeah, but in reality children usually grow up to be fucked up adults. If it was as easy to mould children as people like to pretend, adults would be much less horrible in general. Plus, by that logic, the life of a decent adult is worth more than a kid because you actually know they're not shit, whereas with the kid it's still up in the air. Not that I think an adult's life is worth more than a kid's, I think they're equal, I'm just saying that idea actually works against itself.

No. 241426

>>241418
That's the case if you're talking about someone older, but not someone in their teens or twenties which many people still apply this logic to.

For example, in most horror movies the subjects of murder are high schoolers, but killing a ten year old in those movies would be considered by most people to cross a line. That's only a difference of six years. Like, people can't say killing a ten year old in a movie is horrific and awful, but if they were just half a decade older it's entertaining and not be massive hypocrits.

No. 241427

>>241418
>the life not lived

I can see why they'd see it this way, however, it's just a particular kind of tragic.
After all, I could easily argue how having your experienced, adult life ripped away by death is just as cruel as never having been conscious of it.

No. 241428

The thought of childbirth and all of the potential complications is terrifying to me and makes my skin crawl. People always treat it like it's such a minor thing but they don't consider how painful it is and the fact that I could fucking DIE if I was ever so unlucky.
The expectation for all women to be mothers is pretty sexist as well. I remember in high school I casually said that I didn't want to ever have kids and this guy reacted like I just confessed to murdering someone.
>But anon you HAVE TO have kids!! What if they grew up to cure cancer and the child could ony be born from you!
Lol right… so my dreams and aspirations don't matter, I could only ever hope to be an incubator for someone who might accomplish something?

I don't hate kids or anything but they're pretty draining to look after. It's hard enough babysitting my friend's kid for the afternoon, I definitely wouldn't want to have that responsibility 24/7 for the next 18 or so years.

No. 241436

>>241428
>What if they grew up to cure cancer and the child could ony be born from you!
Any time someone says something like this, they are confirmed for being a complete idiot who lacks the ability to think shit through. How do these people not realize that this is the ultimate two-sided argument? Sure, it's possible your child could cure cancer… but it's also possible your child could become a mass shooter.

Plus, like you said- it's sexist AF that you should feel morally obligated to have kids against your wishes for some hypothetic possibility that is almost guaranteed not to even happen. If we want to go down the unrealistic hypothetical route, what if the person destined to cure cancer was a woman that got pregnant too early and had to devote her life to her crotch spawn instead of focusing on her research? Unlikely, but one can't make the "what if that kid would have cured cancer!" argument without considering that possibility.

No. 241439

>>241436
>what if the person destined to cure cancer was a woman that got pregnant too early and had to devote her life to her crotch spawn instead of focusing on her research?

ugh this. not trying to knock motherhood as a viable choice, but when chauvinists talk about how comparably few women have achieved feats in science medicine etc, well, other than when women were/are flat out forbidden from doing those things, a lot of it is because most women were too busy raising children to be the top inventors and scientists. So therefore should most women avoid having kids because what if THEY could cure cancer if they pursued it? Just do what you actually want ffs

No. 241440

>>241436
Projection.

They always prattle on about children finding the cure for cancer/AIDs because that's what they high key wish their own will accomplish. Of course they want to believe they'll go down in history for parenting a prodigy, "Who doesn't?" they ponder.
Not so much they think about other people having different aspirations, or facing the reality that not everyone's child (maybe theirs) will grow up to be a winner of some kind.

How many parents had big dreams for their serial killer son up until he was caught? Yeah. It's fleeting and arbitrary.

No. 241441

>>241439
This this this

Sexists will shit on women for accomplishing less than men, while simultaneously insisting we should focus on children rather than accomplishing these things and disregard the fact we didn't even have the fucking choice not to until very recently in history (and in some situations, depending on the woman's location, still don't). I can't tell if they're genuinely too stupid to see the holes in their logic or just really dedicated to gaslighting us.

No. 241446

>>241441
They're dedicated to keeping you as the subordinate shit beneath their shoes. Fact.

No. 241454

On the subject of parents with incredibly unrealistic goals for their kids, I have a friend who ended up being one of my most fucked up friends because he had parents who had all sorts of ridiculously unrealistic hopes for him, including becoming president. It's one thing to teach your kid they can be whatever they want, it's another thing to project your own dreams on them to the point where you drive them insane because you won't accept anything short of them. His parents grounded him for getting 96% on an AP test and his mom had a psychological breakdown where she had to go to the ER when he didn't get into Harvard or Yale, even though he got into Columbia.

He ended up dropping out halfway through after a suicide attempt and is recovering from a serious opioid addiction.

So yeah, parents who project those kinds of desires into their children and won't accept anything less are actual pieces of shit.

No. 241456

>>241441
yup, and now in the age where many women are trying to have full time careers AND children, they cry about these women destroying the family unit and society and the undisciplined latchkey snowflake children that often result. It's just a sad feedback loop of men who won't respect women no matter what they do or don't choose, and women who internalize their chauvinism and try to be "one of the good ones" instead of doing whatever it is they're actually interested in.

No. 241458

>>241456
there are also tons and tons of "traditional" women, usually fat, loudmouth, middle class white women, who shit on you for not having/wanting kids and act like it's inevitable. these people are also usually the annoying mom who acts like everyone around them needs to be oh so grateful they shat out kids.

No. 241460

>>241421
nature vs nurture retard. a kid is a product of their environment. that's why people find it so abhorrent when people intentionally go after children to corrupt them.

No. 241463

>>241458
Yeah, in my experience trad women martyr themselves for raising kids more than anyone usually. The super gross part is they love putting down working moms and single moms, even though what they're doing is infinitely harder since they have much more responsibility outside just the children.

No. 241466

>>241460
>implying nature never plays a role in how a kid turns out and perfectly raised children never end up monsters
It seems you're misidentifying who the retard is here.

No. 241480

>>241466
Actually regarding kids it's reall hard to tell nature from nurture.
If you consider that everything since the life inside the uterus influences how the child relates to the world and look up a bit into attachment theory and the concept of "the good enough mother" you'll realise how easy is to fuck up a child by accident.

No. 241498

>>241466
>implying any human today is free to live naturally

we are all controlled by bureaucracy and regulations we barely had any say in. I for one am glad people that lack social skills do not want children.

No. 241571

>>241403
i love you brutal bitches. it's so true.



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