/ot/ - off-topic

Excellent.
Once there’s no narcissist to say ‘you’re so useless you can’t even do xyz’ or watching you waiting for you to make a perceived mistake so they get to hurt you, living is a million times easier.

There’s no sense of tension to wade through. The place is just yours and it’s so much more peaceful than living with someone else, especially a shitty person. You’re not constantly waiting for the conflict.

it felt like absolute freedom. dont remember doing anything special, just enjoying my peace and actually having fun unapologeticaly. i've been out of my parents house for 7 years and i still get hyped about living alone

it is pretty bad when when hornets find their way into my apt and i fear the day when bf wont be alone. i will probably just leave my keys to the hornet and fortify my home to him

I really want to live alone. I currently pay my dad $400 a fortnight. There's apartments for $200 per week, which would be the same. It's really not ideal and I need to save for travelling but why not if its same I would paying?

My parents are divorced and both of my older sibling moved to different cities, so I have been living only with my mom in a big, but always half-unfurnished house 4km away from the city.
First, my flatmates are my age and it's kinda depressing how this place started to feel much more like home than my mom's house.
Second I could study/do projects in my own pace, without having to hear constant complaints how I will not pass and that I'll see that she's right.
I can cook my own stuff in a healthy way + learning it gives me satisfaction. Also have been hearing how irresponsible I am and how I will not make it.
Finally can avoid hearing mom talking about dad and his current life + her alt-right political beliefs.
Main con is the feeling of loneliness once all flatmates return home for the summer/winter holidays, so you're left on your own for months with no close friends in your current place.

I'm looking forward to living alone. I don't want to have flatmates if I don't know them first but a close friend suggested she becomes my flatmate if I'm interested and I'm considering it.

I live with my family so far because of college and high costs of living and it's a nightmare. I have no private life, I don't dare having a boyfriend because of it. I can't play video games whenever I want because of the noise, my parents monitor everyone when me or a sibling is a shower or cooking because they're obsessed with lowering their bills. I almost never cook because of that so I have to eat everyone's shitty food because nobody likes the same things so my siblings and mother only cook bland dishes. Those aren't the worst parts at all though.

Once I live alone or with a friend I'll cook and try to learn a bunch recipes, and I'll spend more time on my hobbies.

I lived with my mom only before, she's not bad but she's extremely needy. I wouldn't even close my bedroom's door when she was awake because she'd feel isolated, to give you an idea. So, living alone felt liberating from that. She was also terrible with money and was always in debt, when I managed the finances all by myself I had a decent quantity of money left for entertainment too once all bills were paid.
I'm back to her house now but I miss living alone, it's the best.

I moved out at 19 with a bf then broke up with him at 23 and lived back at my mums then alone then back at my muns now for the past 2 years I've been living alone. The freedom is nice. Being lonely isn't and the thing I hate about being a female living alone in a busy area is that people notice. I'm really aware of my windows and sometimes will be watching TV monging out have a feeling I'm being watched and I am lol. I feel like some days if I want to be lazy or sick I have to shut all my blinds I live on the first floor and have apartments surrounding me. I can't wait to move somewhere with a bit more privacy I am so jealous of people with windows that have views and not other fucking people lol

I started crying the first night, it was cathartic af

Living alone is super nice if you're an introverted person who hates to go outside unless it's for work/food. But the loneliness can get to you sometimes. It can be sucky at times especially when you're sick because if anything happens to you (knock on wood); you basically have to survive on your own. I'm currently living alone, away from family a few states over. I'm so tempted to get a pet cat or rabbit to keep me company but I'm working most of the time. I would feel really bad living my pet alone at home. Do you home-aloners have any pets at home?

>>403795
You can get two rabbits so they will not be bored when you are at work. Rabbits thrive in general when they have a bunny pal and not just a human owner. Just research rabbit care and don't get one from a mill.

>>403805

Oh that's good to know. Time to do more research on taking care of pet rabbits then. Thanks anon!

When I first moved into my new place I was a depressed slob and had trouble maintaining the apartment. I still have difficulty cleaning today, but it is fulfilling to see shiny bathroom tiles and have ironed clothes.

I like sleeping in my birthday suit and drunk cleaning. Playing music without giving a fuck about other's bedtime or preferences is refreshing. 8/10; wish would take care of a cat or a small herbal garden if not for HOA rules.

>>403786
Same. Especially because when I moved out I wound up transferring with my job several states away. When I settled in that first night the enormity of what I did and how far from home I was hit me and I cried all night. After that I was fine though and love being on my own.

It was so great. Moved out a few months after I turned 23, but I had been wanting to live alone since 16-17. I did two flatshares and couldn't wait to truly be on my own.

There's no one to bother me or question me, I can have whatever routine I want (if I want to workout at 6AM, no one will be bothered by it). I can have a bit of a mess in the living room because I know I'm gonna clean it up anyway. I can sleep whenever I want, eat whenever I want (no one to nag if I'm not hungry and don't eat, or if I want to have a stupidly unhealthy night snack, or if I only want to have veggies, or whatever).

I can have my own little fantasy. I love cleaning, and gardening, and going to the market. I like not needing anyone.

i love living alone. i'd feel stifled and stressed with a roommate. all my food is my own and only mine to eat, all my messes are my own and will get cleaned when i do it and stay clean, i can blast music or walk around naked or have conversations with my cats and not feel like i'm being judged. i gladly pay a little extra money just to be alone.

only bad thing is yeah, if you have an emergency you're on your own, but i still think it's worth it for my sanity. i am not a people person and i need lots of alone time.

In a weird role-reversal, my parents are moving out and I'll be living alone soon. My dad has a new job overseas and I need to look after the family home while they're away. I'm excited for the independence, but I never thought it would happen like this. I've wanted to move out for a few years but it's so expensive where I live that it was never a viable option.

I am the eldest of 8 children. All of us are adopted but only 2 sets of us as blood related. While my mother was gracious enough to give us a second chance, she really was not well equipped in handling the lot of us that started developing mental illnesses. Some of us children came from mothers who used drugs in utero.

My second sister has bi polar disorder, 2 of my brothers and the other sister have RAD or reactive attachment disorder. It's a social developmental disorder that occurs when a child is growing up in a dysfunctional and negligent home life. They never truly develop anything like love for their family members and are sociopathic. My blood related brother, we think, may have Asperger's. So imagine living with my mom and these siblings, with a dad who was a alcoholic who lied up until I was 15 that he was "working at a marina" doing boat renovations when in reality he was "borrowing money" and drinking with friends all day. I already had a hard time living with the fact my mom had to place safety precautions all over and that when I walked in the door, drama would ensue instantly. I was the eldest but I felt guilted, obligated to help my mother survive. I had no friends coming over to visit and if they did I had to lie to them so they could come over on a "safe day" where I knew my parents would be out with my siblings. Some of my siblings at this time were stealing expensive items or food to trade at school, shitting in bags and hiding them in the sand of the basement (a walkthru, dont remember what it was called), puking and pissing all over then hiding it out of fear my parents would find it, beating eachother up, terrorizing the school and overall causing a living hell for us siblings that did not do fucked up shit.

I eventually left home for college the first time and I was so happy. It was art college, so at the moment I felt like I could change the world or at least work on a team to archive/preserve art. However, I ran out of money and my mother convinced me to not take another loan to finish my degree. I was bummed. My depression and insomnia developed into something more severe. Moving back home was even worse, since my mom found a new boyfriend and he had a hard time controlling his anger around my siblings while I was out. They were together for a long time before breaking up but I still felt like our families wouldn't mesh.
I had and still have a hard time developing relationships. I always wanted out of the house, to be with friends, but those friends in school eventually left me behind for "rich kid colleges". I felt like normal was something to be achieved, but I remained a neet and when I did go back to my mother's, it was death. My mom still talks to me about the drama but I put my foot down and told her to stop talking to me about it. Now I've been living with my boyfriend for 5 years in the West Coast and it's been okay. I still have issues, I still struggle at work or in social spaces, have a good cry at home and get up the next day to try again. Therapy helped but I still want to kill myself. Actually, right now, I'm feeling not too great. I used to have so much enthusiasm but when you go so long living by yourself and thinking about fucked up shit that's been done to you you kind of lose your power.

Sorry this is so long and dumb, I just went through alot and I am glad I live away from my family.

I just want to thank everyone in this thread for sharing their experiences. The thought of moving out, having my own life and being able to finally grow into an adult is the only thing that keeps me sane. Going through this thread is very motivating to stay stubborn despite all outside forces.

>>404207
That sounds like a rough as fuck upbringing anon. Im glad you were able to get out of the situation. Do you think it would help to look at ways to finish your degree? (I understood from your post that you didn’t get to finish.) I know at my lowest, having something motivating me to keep going was helpful. I’m sorry you’re having such a rough time.

As for OP, I love living alone. I’ve had roommates since I moved out and it’s nice just having my cats lol. I made sure to fill the silence a bit with music or TV, or just talking to myself (lol). You’ll adjust quickly.

>>404207
Anon your post isn't dumb. It sounds like you've made a lot of progress and I'm glad you are still trying even when it's hard.

First evening I cried like a baby but the next day my periods started, so…

But really I was worried that my mom would end up killing herself if I wasn't helping her but slowly I started setting boundaries and the most important part of it was the actual distance between us.

Basically I just saw that I could handle money and take care of myself. I felt empowered. Living by yourself can get lonely but if you're starting at a new school etc., it'll pass.

Sometimes you let abusive people in your life without realizing and you have to not to be afraid to cut them off or distance them, even if they start drama.

Best wishes to you OP! Life does get better after getting out of an abusive home.

Moving out and living alone was the most amazing "adult" thing I will ever do.
My relationship with my parents honestly blossomed, simply because I had a space that belonged to no one else but me.
I always knew I could easily take care of myself but I never put that into full force simply because it was easy being self deprecating and knowing your mom will clean up after you if you just wait long enough which can be a risky game to play for your own health. However turns out the moment i moved out, I absolutely couldnt fucking handle messes that lasted for more than a day! I can now thrift shop for anything i want because i have space and my apartment is decked in vintage gold lamps and lots of neat furniture that cost me less than most people spend on a single trip to ikea. I found out how money savvy I was, bills went from being confusing(repetative yet dates changed etcetc) to running rotations on an internal clock in my head because it will become instinctive to you, honestly I can go on!
Loneliness isnt even an issue once you realise that its most likely because you just havent gotten enough interaction recently (if u have and ur still lonely, might need to seek help for codependency issues) but yeah overall I really fucking love it.
When you live alone its also easier to live more sustainably since theres not a person around you who isnt really into the whole "minimizing pre-packaged products"
So now I dont feel awkward boiling sugarwax or making chocolate spread by grinding hazelnuts etc
(By the by, im not one who loves to spend hours doing chores/cooking I promise you that you learn to cut down time once youve adjusted to your space/schedule. I might love doing everything by hand but i also wanna dedicate majority of my time to other things lol)
Goodluck fellow home alone anons.

Honestly, at first I didn't even notice I was alone. I guess because I was a latchkey kid since second grade and years later mom moved away for work when my sister was 17 and I was 15 and would only come home on weekends. Dad died when I was a kid. When I was finally alone I was working, walking my dog, keeping up with my friends, busy all day and slept like a baby at night because of it. Then the first thunderstorm happened. I cried once I realized I was alone. Got out of my room wanting to pretend to make a small talk with mom or sister, as I always did, not wanting to admit thunders scared me… just to realize I was actually all alone.

I began living alone at 18 after being homeless for nearly a year after leaving my (mentally and physically) abusive family home (too old for foster care, too young for most shelters/hostels). I skipped between friends, sympathetic family (some wouldn't talk to me because I'd accused my parent of abuse), floors, sofas, hospitals. I guess I didn't realise how much it had fucked me up until I was suddenly on my own in this little apartment with no one, just my own thoughts. I didn't manage very well at all the first year, being on my own was hard - not like, managing bills or the household for the first time, but trying to deal with the mental stuff. I was hospitalized a few times for short periods, and eventually a social worker realised that being somewhere so isolated was really affecting me so helped me move to somewhere near a station so I wasn't just stuck indoors with my thoughts most of the time.

That was 10 years ago - I'm about to move from living with friends to my own place now (friends getting married). I have anxieties that my mental health will get worse on my own but I guess I also have 10 years of coping mechanisms and growth on top this time .

What's that cake made out of?