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i got into a really good art school, but i have no money to attend since my parents are waist up in debt from getting sued (they own a small business and a former employee sued them, my dad refused to get a decent lawyer and ended up losing and racking up 300k in debt) and some other shit
Im not elligible for discounts and other student help since my family brute income is good, but its all going to pay the debts.
I can't work either since its a full time course (7 am to 15 pm), i just wish my dad hadn't been a retard like he always is and didn't lose that ridiculous amount of cash for nothing.
I can't believe i will have to can my dream and stay and the HORRIBLE uni i am at right now (the place gets waterlogged when it rains, i already missed like a week since its rainy season).
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>>465956>buy things without multiple photo reviews
Imo a major problem with Amazon reviews is that their customer base is as retarded as the sellers.>OMG 5/5 STARS THIS WIG IS SO GREAT WOULD REC>picture is filtered to shit and is an extreme closeup selfie barely showcasing the wig>what is seen of the wig looks like they plopped it on their head straight out the bag, looks thin and messy
I wanted to buy essential oils for my diffuser and while the majority of the reviews can be good, there's always a cluster of reviews that say that their product was bad and how it's not a "real" essential oil which then calls into question if everyone who gave it 5 stars are gullible idiots or if the people saying it's bad are just nitpicky pinko pissbabies.
Basically Amazon sucks if you want to buy something really niche.
Unrelated but>tfw my binge fries from McDonald's taste off why the fuck did I bother
I usually just find a mega and download it.
What movie are you looking for anon?
lmao sure they do… like how anon was trying to stream it for free?
My question was rhetorical anyway, it's because most people can't be bothered learning how to do it or are under the mistaken impression they'll get arreated for it.
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It's spring here and my cat is having his big shed, but won't tolerate the furminator for more than 30 seconds at a time before he gets overstimulated and starts running around. Please kitty I just need ONE good brushing session.
I think that's fair. If someone doesn't know what they're doing then it's better for them to not deviate off the beaten paths without someone to guide them.
Before I got a grasp on torrenting I definitely downloaded bad shit to my laptop, wasted my time with bung files, and got served a few cease and desist letters from my ISP.
Anyways I definitely got knocked on my ads bad before I learned and even now I'm no expert, I can't blame people who can't be assed since it does come with its risks.
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About 3 months ago I got a tinder profile. There was a guy who I was going to meet up. He made the plans and everything all he said I had to do was be there. I bailed because I wanted to stay inside and watch tv because whatever, plenty of fish in the tinder sea and he's probably just another fuckboi.
My friend (also roommate) started dating the guy about a month ago. I met him a bunch of times when she brings him over and I am seriously mad at myself. He was a real keeper and I passed on it.
He does things like cooks dinner for her every Wednesday night. They study together and he's pretty smart so he helps tutor her sometimes.
It drives me nuts because when she first brought him over and I met him in person for the first time the first thing he said to me "We had a date planned together at one point didn't we?" He laughs and said it was all good that I flaked out and that he was used to it happening on tinder, plus he might not of ended up dating my friend.
It feels like a nagging missed opportunity annoyance that won't leave my head .
Things end up how they end up. I ignored a guy on a dating site once who ended up dating my housemate. (I had no interest in him either way)
It seems more like he was trying every girl in your area and your friend was more desperate than you.
He's also probably trying to impress you as the backup plan, hence you… being impressed.
It happens. I passed up a cutie back in the day because I didn't wanna try to work an LDR and opted for a more local fuccboi instead. The cutie understandably never talked to me again once I rejected him and the fuccboi was obviously a dirtbag who I wound up dumping anyway.
Life goes on, I'm sure he's making someone very happy.
(btw i’m a lesbian not some dude) compared to what some people vent about on these threads this is nothing but anyway. i miss my girlfriend so so so so much. we live 2 hours apart and because of our busy and conflicting uni schedules we usually see each other twice a week (wednesday’s for lunch and dinner) and then we spend the weekends together. whenever we part i just get filled with this strong feeling of loneliness and even sadness. i’m a pretty depressed person in general so no doubt this feeds it. anyway this weekend she has to be with her family which i totally understand and get but it just means that i won’t get to see her until next wednesday. my girlfriend is a little older than me and she doesn’t show her emotions that easily so she seems pretty chill about it. tonight we were texting before we slept and i kept sending crying emojis when i was saying good night (i was partly joking)and she was like (english is her second language which is why this sounds blunt) ‘stop being sad we’ll see each other soon’ ugh this just makes me feel worse. it’s not like i can stop being sad all of a sudden and it doesn’t feel like soon even though objectively i know it is. i guess i’m going to stop acting like a baby when we text with all the crying emojis … ugh i just miss her so much.
anyway this was the dumbest shit i’ve ever written, sorry if you lost braincells reading it
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This is such an incel-tier rant, but like the 5th most popular dude at my college is an emo who complains about how they're so lonely whilst being friends with almost everyone in the school and having a girlfriend. Graaahhhhhh
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I feel extremely isolated in my birth country because of being so much more fluent in english than the national language. I think in english, i consume 95% of my entertainment in english, speak english with my friends on discord, and then i have to go out in the world and talk to people at my school in another language somehow.
I did try to visit sites in Russian (the language im avoiding), and they're all pretty bland tbh. I've got nothing in common with my peers and it's driving me nuts, basically. I'm sure this will sound like petty humblebragging and first world problem whining but the last Russian friend I made was in grade school; i really want to belong again. Maybe speaking it is just something i need to force myself to do, shit… I needed to get this out somehow
When was the state of the world not depressing? If you were living in a different time period, you would probably just bitch and moan about something else.>>466510
wtf are you going on about?
oh god, did he think he was triggering
Emo has always been nothing but posturing. All urban tribes are, its kind of surreal that someone like Thom Yorke who is rich and famous and spends his times touring the world, meeting other famous people and getting his ass kissed still sells hiself as an outcast, but thats fine as long as the artwork is relatable i guess. I think actual outcasts have a hard time fitting even on sub-cultures and urban tribes or they find even more specific niches within already niche communities so they'll still find a way to marginalize themselves even from that group.
Like, everybody is a gamer now, it still has a ~geeky~ label despite being the most mainstream form of entertainment internationally that even the popular dumb jock kids like, but look out for the speedrunner community if you want to see the real geeks and weirdos.
Lace that’s handmade looks and feels so amazing but I don’t even want to imagine how much it must hurt your hands. It’s gonna be worth it for sure but quilting pains are bad enough.
Didn’t even know lace could be knit, i thought it was all tatted. Are you stretching your hands regularly?
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Why does the cutest guy I've ever seen irl have to befriend me when my skin is a NIGHTMARE? He actually went out of his way to talk to me first, I don't understand. I look diseased and he's a cute little angel.
Perhaps he sees past it (which is remarkable and sweet for a man), but ffs don't introduce me to your friends. I look like a pizza monster and I'm sure it bothers them even if you don't care.
Mostly I'm just tired of this skin battle though. Holy shit. I've reached my goal weight and can't even enjoy it because of my skin.
I thought that too when I was younger but then I realized that I was the problem.
You're just so used with Western media up your ass that you think it's superior/better than your own culture. If that's how you think then you're bound to be alone in Russia forever.
How does one not even know the language of their birth country that they've been living in for years?????
He really is adorable.
I suspect he's okay with it since he seems to value honesty a lot. And I'm just out here with my pepperoni, imposing it on everyone without makeup.
Every time I see someone mention a Greg on this website or see a screenshot that says Greg in it, I don't automatically think of Onion, but fucking Skeptic and it makes me really excited for a bit. I miss when him and June were more milky, it just like halted ever since she moved to her parent's vacation home.>>466576
Anon, I have PCOS as well. What worked for me was getting my BMI to 22 via portion control and exercising 2-3 times a week. 75% percent of the time I'll get a monthly period compared to it used to be being every 2-3 months. Maybe you might be underweight or overweight or you exercise a little too much? Some of the weirdest shit can make your period irregular with PCOS. Also if you're stressed out too much you most likely will skip a month.
He tried to say its no different than sayinfg fictional characters and idk what to say>>466669
He's a cis man.
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Thank you anon, venting out my frustrations and your reply really made me feel a whole lot better. I hope you have a good day today, you're a good person.
teachers bite their fucking tongues and stop gossiping about their students in front of students challenge
I fucking hate that shit. I had a teacher in high school who told one of her other calculus classes that she thought I would get a 1 on the AP exam, "if I even showed up." I showed that bitch and got a 4. Still makes me wanna spit in her coffee when I think about it.
I had teachers who would gossip about me when I was 9 and used to make fun of me with their students about how annoying and pathetic I was
A lot of teachers are pieces of shit
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Job searching is pissing me off so god damn badly.
It's a shame my current job is only a temporary project, because I'm really well liked here and have made a great impression for the several months I've been here.
I've been applying for work since July so I won't be jobless by November, but I'm having no luck despite having sent countless, tailored applications. I've tried callbacks but HR people tend to be shitty and patronizing if they can be contacted, saying how they've got hundreds of applicants and they are never wanting to talk. It's ridiculous. Employers are fucking ridiculous.
I was talking to the senior project manager about how I haven't been having any luck yesterday and he "jokingly" suggested that I just lie on my resume.
My stepdad pitied me and sent me links to two job recruitment websites. After I painstakingly made an account and filled out the resume on one, it offered me the option to tick a box if I'd like a free resume consultation email.
I actually got an email back today from a seemingly real person, but they destroyed every single aspect of my resume.
Apparently the formatting, design, and file type were all shit (even though it was taken and downloaded from a popular job hunting website..) and hence terrible to employers and the ATS software they use.
That I used too much passive language which makes me a task focused "doer" and not an "achiever." All their suggestions were examples exaggerating my importance in my subordinate roles, while it seemed they wanted me to bullshit numbers and basically lie out my ass in order to appear "exciting" to these shitlords.
Because apparently executing my job functions just aren't enough to prove I've been a productive asset to the companies I've worked for. I've got to further cheerlead and say how I've increased productivity by 23437^100%, even though there's no way to have ever measured such shit or a way for me to have known since I've never had a managerial role.
Apparently my ATS keywords were garbage too, even though it seems like there's a "keep away" mentality among these resume sites to divulge what keywords to use because they're all hidden behind paywalls.
It's "good advice" in order to continue this song and dance. To act like after several years of work experience and two degrees that I "undersell" myself and have no real talent because I used bullet points and actually listed the duties of my job when I was fucking asked.
This is the clown world new normal.
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Good luck on your exams!!! Everything will be fine, as long as you do your best! I believe in you anon!
No, she's not rich. But I don't think she is short of clothing either.
If you're really concerned with anti-capitalist living, you could probably buy one ethical shirt instead of four fast fashion shirts. Or just buy used.
I would never blame anyone for refusing to buy used underwear. I think there are literal hobos who would refuse to wear used underwear.
If your friend buys more than she needs, then it's a problem. A common one.
Since this is a vent thread I want to add how I loathe H&M polyester dresses and tops that they keep churning out, and now market as "sustainable" because some of it is recycled. No the quality is crap, it looks crap, it's made of plastic and it's always going to be too sweaty or cold to wear. Some fast fashion brands pretend to care now but their business model is constant new cheap crap clothes. Their very business model would need to change before they can greenwash themselves.
I know I'm replying to an older post but this definitely has your parents playing a part in the jealousy from your sister. Did they excessively compare you two?
I grew up in a narcissistic household and there are times where I unfairly turn my anger towards my younger sister because she has been treated better than me while I am the scapegoat child.
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Anon, you have to remind yourself recovery isn't linear. Setbacks are definitely expected so even if you feel good for a few days, there's bound to be a push back because you'll feel overwhelmed after a while.
I used to flake on my old therapist all the time and like clockwork I'd have a setback a few days after the skipped appointment and then I realized I should've gone to that appointment even if I felt okay and our session was probably going to be short.
Thank you so much.
This is what I'm doing exactly right now, trying to make them question why they're acting this way.
I have this friend who's dating a manipulative abuser. Yesterday she broke down and I stayed by her, cleaned up her wounds, offered my help well knowing she won't go to the police. I listened to her cry for hours, reassured her about how she won't ever be alone, even if she breaks up with him and can't see herself with anybody else.
It broke my heart because I knew the moment that scumbag would call her, she'd go to their house again, as she did this morning.
I explained what happened to one of our mutual and closest friends because I was mentally exhausted after all those hours and what she told me was that I should went to the police or stop talking to my friend at all until she opens her eyes.
Excuse me? I’m trying to keep alive one of my oldest friends, while knowing I can’t just tell her to dump him, I tried everything to convince her about searching for help and still it’s not working but I’m there for her, always.
I just needed to hear that everything was going to be fine, that I did fine, that my effort is good at heart, not being criticised about everything I do all the time.
I honestly never really associated being de-feminized due to my PCOS.
To be factual, the reason women get their period is because there's a rise in testosterone in their bodies.
I'm Latina so being hairy and having that mustache and almost unibrow is in my genes and I never associated that with PCOS either. Actually, I have thinning hair on my head due to PCOS, so I'm less "hairy", just in a different spot on my body lol.
I think a good start would to change the way you compare yourselves to other women who don't have PCOS. See it as an issue that ONLY females can go through, which is what it is. You definitely aren't a man or else you wouldn't deal with this. The fact missing your period makes you feel anxious is like your brain giving you reassurance you ARE a woman because it knows something is a bit off.
Drive on the middle or right lane and keep at least 3-4 seconds of distance between you and car in front. Use parking sensors when parking.
Just obey these and it's %99.999 accident free.
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I miss phoebe being at the top of snow every day. Milk was so great. Awaiting her return.
Oh god, I'm so old that I remember that exact pokemon episode. I was so excited to buy the VHS with these three special pokemon episodes. That particular episode with the maiden waiting for her lover to return on top of the hill was my favourite one.
Where did the time go so fast?
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lol. Speedrunners are a exceptional bunch
pic related and vid relatedhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b56N17d4WnM
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>5 years ago
>trying to loose weight and succeed halfway through my goal weight
>look at mirror
>welp, I wonder where it all went because I still look almost the same and obese, why even bother
>2 years ago
>look at pictures from 5 years ago where I am 25kg lighter
>holy shit, what was I thinking? I actually looked much thinner and smaller than I thought!
>get motivated to pull through this time
>succeed halfway through my goal weight
>look at mirror
>welp, I wonder where it all went because I still look almost the same and obese, seems like I only lost water or muscles
>look at pictures from 2 years ago where I am 20kg lighter
>holy shit, what was I thinking? I actually looked much thinner and smaller than I thought!
WHAT THE FUCK IS MY PROBLEM???? JUST LET ME SEE MY ACTUAL PROGRESS ALREADY
This is where I'm at right now anon. I lost 40lbs this year but I look in the mirror and literally nothing has changed and it's really disheartening. But my old clothes are much too loose and I had to buy all new pants and dresses 2 sizes smaller so that's how I know I'm not hallucinating numbers on the scale, even though I look exactly the same to me in a mirror.
On that note:>be me>MIL makes an off hand comment about me being fat last year>fuck u bitch I'll show u>lose 40lbs in 10 months >MIL still hasn't made a single comment on my weight loss even though everyone else has
I know I shouldn't crave her validation when she's always been a jerk to me, and I know from the way she treats her family that nothing is ever good enough for her (she calls my size 2 SIL fat sometimes), but I'm that pathetic I guess.
That's terrible. I'll never understand how so many women, especially those that are close to us and our family, decide to put us down for whatever reason.
You'd think that being in the same boat when it comes to beauty standards and immense pressure to comply with them would make them more understanding but nope.
Blogpost time (sorry about that)
My mother did this to me and several other women that I used to be close with. It fucked me up badly. I manage to hide it now that I'm skeleton tier but my self esteem is almost non-existent. I also can't form relationships due to that and not wanting to be hurt again. I remember being lectured about having to watch weight and being chubby but looking at my old school photos I was very skinny.
Yet at a young age of 10 I already started dieting and worrying about the intake. I know I wasn't the only one. I stopped having birthdays because my mother would give each of my friend a cake while giving me a salad and telling everyone that it's because I need to lose weight. I was fucking 10, mom.
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I've long suspected my mom has had a Cluster B personality disorder. She seems to bounce between NPD and BPD depending on her mood and self-esteem at the time. My only references are how similar her behavior matches the criteria I've read about and when I visit forums of people with parents who have Cluster B personality disorders. I see how her behavior aligns with these stories of disordered parents. She sees a therapist, but only these days because of her last marriage failing–she still thinks most people make up their mental illnesses for attention and handouts. I digress. Because of the way she twists and lies about the narrative to the therapist (I went to one of her marital therapy sessions once; she has a degree in the theatre and was a school teacher and it shows), the therapist sincerely believes she is a victim. I don't think she'll ever be diagnosed because she's an excellent manipulator, knows what to say, and is charming to anyone with titles and authority.
I went no contact with her a few months ago for my own sanity after she did something particularly fucked up to me. My life and mental well being have improved drastically. However she's been trying to manipulate me into talking to her at every opportunity again.
She hates this boundary because she has no control, no power, and therefore can't excite drama from me anymore.
She sends me provocative letters that I don't reply to, but every time she hopes for a response. She dogwhistles and says underhanded things that would usually get a reaction out of me, but I have the power to ignore it now.
During her most recent shenanigans, she sent a birthday gift with a gift card before my birthday, and a few days later followed up with one of the said letters. The subtext manipulation being that I'd be more obligated to at least respond with a 'thank you' for her having sent the gift. If I wasn't so financially hard up, I would've sent the card back but I took it. I still haven't contacted her, and I don't want to.
The letter was infuriating. She played victim and only admitted soft fault to things she was already comfortable admitting because she had several justifications for her behavior anyway.
The letter was riddled with several hypocrisies:
"This letter isn't to make excuses, we have to take responsibility for our actions and choices."
proceeds to admit she acted emotionally unstable towards me but it's bc of her abusive ex husbands and controlling parents.
"I'm really hurt about what you posted on public social media because it was an attack on my character and you divulged private things."
I had actually blocked her on social media but one of her flying monkeys screencapped my post intended only for my close friends to read, and sent it out in a mass email to my family behind my back. My post actually did little in the way of attacking her character (besides calling her a narcissist), and instead detailed her awful behavior towards me and why I was moving to change my situation so drastically. Not only that, but before I went NC she went around to my entire family and besmirched my character in making me out to be a lazy, mean, ungrateful daughter. Now she wants to referee the language because she's losing me.
"I know you love your stepdad and I have no desire to spoil your relationship with him."
Proceeds to tell me how manipulative she thinks my stepdad is, how he financially took advantage of her, and how she thinks my living situation with him is 'unhealthy' without even giving a clear definition of what that means.
"I'm sorry you feel like you had an unstable home growing up, but you had a good home and all the necessities so if you really think about it you had it better than most."
Implying she deserves a reward for doing the bare minimum as a parent like giving me food and clothes, while ignoring and denying how emotionally abusive she was towards me.
I could go on, but the point is the things she says are turgid.
I transcribed her letter into a Word document, and then wrote my own 5 page reply that I've been sitting on and editing for days. I don't want to send this to her, because I'll be breaking the power of my boundary and giving her the satisfaction of my reply.
What I think I should do instead is find out if she's being truthful about seeing her therapist. I feel like I should reformat this letter of mine, print hers out, and mail both copies to her therapist explaining my perspective. And what they ought to be talking about during their sessions.
I'm not sure if it will work though or if this is just a waste of my time. Ultimately, I think my mom is too damaged and has too much of a victimhood complex to change.
I wish someone could read her letter and mine who's outside our situations (neither friend nor a family member) so I could get some true feedback on it.
That’s a really tough situation. It’s good that she’s at least open to therapy, but it doesn’t seem like it’s helping her actual problems.
It seems like you are still affected by it a lot, and that’s the most worrisome part. You can’t have a normal relationship with someone who’s going to play the victim
and not acknowledge their own shortcomings. I think you’re right she is trying to get control over you, and the best thing you can do is not allow it. If someone is trying to get a reaction out of you, you don’t have to give it to them.
BYOB is standard at any party I've ever been too, it would be overly generous for the host to buy alcohol (more than like, a bottle of wine or two maybe) but it's greedy af to sell it? Especially at those prices tf.
I would just throw another party and cite the ridiculous prices as the reason. I don't see why you should feel like you can't admit such a legit justification. Do you even want her as a friend when she treats you like that?
She's selfish and entitled sometimes, but not always. I think she's slipping lately because her husband actually forced her to get a job within his own workplace. She's a lot more stingy with expenditures now that she's being made to earn her keep and it's not strictly someone else's money she's spending.
Hmm. You know I'm thinking of just making a shit ton of jello shots to bring and not charging for them because they're cheap as fuck to make. It sends a message and satisfies the potluck requirement. With the added bonus of her being salty that her own shots won't sell. Kek.
When my mother was a teenager she had to escape her country's genocide and had to marry a stranger to survive and to leave her abusive
parents. She did her best when she raised me but she was very abusive
as well. I grew up now I understand her behavior but sometimes she'd bring up a random horrific experience she had to deal with as a teenager during the genocide.
She seems like a well adjusted adult to strangers but sometimes I wish she could see a therapist, I feel like there's a lot of repressed trauma that she never got to talk to someone about. The town we lived in was predominately white and xenophobic.
Double posting because I'm illiterate.
*I want this to either get better or get unbearable.
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One of my friends is being annoying in that she's always begging people to hang out with her, and it's not that no one wants to. She's just being extremely lazy about it. If anyone wants to hang out with her then we're all required to commute out to her house which is easily a 40 minute drive one way for most of us. She never offers to meet us halfway someplace or come chill at our places. She won't come.
She doesn't drive, and she's 30 so at this point she's got no excuse for that by now besides straight refusal to learn. Her husband is well off enough to buy thousands in weebshit merch so money isn't an issue. Even so, she could get her husband to drive her someplace or she could Uber.
It's really hard to feel empathy for her when she's so low effort. We're past the age where any of us have the patience to entertain being her mom with the car rides. She's not disabled, she's not poor.
She gets super indignant when us other friends hang out too, as if we all had to reach out to her and offer to pick her up and drive her back first if we want to grab a quick lunch or dinner to catch up. She doesn't understand that's going above and beyond standard friendship consideration, that's straight up mommying.
The other night I was with three friends and we were posting our drinks to social media, and this friend got jealous of the fact that we hung out without her and so she made a post asking people to come over to her place to test drinks…at midnight.
Can't she see how offputting that is? It's immature.>>467370
And then they'll turn around and whine about how women don't cape enough for male sexual harassment and male rape victims
Give them time, it will at least take a few months until they fully warmed up. I thought my young cat and my older cats would be hostile to eachother forever too, but even though they occasionally still hiss at playing attempts or literally laying on top of eachother to cuddle, they are basically a family after 3 years. They talk to eachother verbally and nonverbally, exchange comfy sleeping places, sleep next to each other, shyly groom eachother, copy eachothers good and bad behaviour and have eachothers back when one is shocked or seemingly in danger. (And young cat is still persistent to get even closer, after being told off several times lol) I think the key lays in treating them as a group in several situations. Playing with them all together at once, feeding them together, giving them treats together, getting them hyped over treats together, petting them at once if they are in reaching lenght, actively discouraging them from fighting as soon as they show aggressive signs etc.
I'm disappointed, but not surprised.
I take solace in the fact that 99% of those people live shitty, empty lives and probably cry all day about boogeymen like "the feminazis" and "cultural marxism" all because sane women want nothing to do with them, they have no real friends besides other bitchy, unstable men and the odd pick-me, their internet porn addiction has rendered them sexually and socially dysfunctional, their parents are disappointed in them, and they know in their bones that they will never become anything of real value in their lives. The most they could manage is to emulate mass murderers.
They'll be lucky if they accomplish even half of what their fathers did (procreation), and even if they do, all the bad habits (alcoholism, severe personality disorders and possible opiate addiction) will catch up to them and ruin it all anyway.
Like, I don't know how to say this without sounding evil, but some people really do deserve their miserable fates. The kind of person who celebrates children being tortured and sexually abused in a school just because they happen to be black definitely leads a shitty existence, and it's exactly where they belong. I hope they stay in their pitiful, self-destructive holes forever.
Get a current size dress and get it altered. It might fit you even better than the smaller size without altering.
Congrulations on your wedding in advance!
On Kiwifarms the off-topic boards are in large part a different userbase than the cow boards, it's a bunch of /Pol/ fags that shit up the place after the NZ shooting.
But yeah even on the threads about cows there's a lot of tryhard edginess. It gets boring.
update on my pussy, it still feels a bit weird, like twitchy almost? Sans peeing pain or that odd uti-y pressure. This is a weird pussy pain sunday for a few of us it seems.>>467252
dressmaker anon here, get a size you currently wear, if it's a lace up, that can save you a lot of time and money but it's still the smartest way to just resize it a bit if you end up losing more weight.
honestly guys have pulled the same shit w me before. MAYBE he has an actual drinking problem, MAYBE it developed bc he's dealing with his feelings for u, but either way he's being manipulative and just trying to guilt trip u with the 'wehhhhh love me back or ill suffer in substance abuse & addiction </3 </3 you MUST love me or you will be killing me </3 feel guilty and fuck me plz'
don't give in and don't feel sorry for him. he's not hurting he's just trying to manipulate you.
I agree with you. Point blank, only retards think it makes sense to hate people on the basis of their racial background, and their opinions shouldn't be respected or entertained.
It's really not hard to just treat people like people.
I think I have obsessive love disorder. There's this woman I know, well used to know, and she occupies a gigantic amount of space in my mind. Usually I'll have the off thought here and there when I'm at work, but for the most part I just think about how nice it would be for us to be together. Sometimes I think about how it'd be nice to do something "datey" I saw, sometimes I think about the things she's said about her family and I imagine doing my best to get along with them, but more often than not I'm just despairing about how she doesn't really like me the same way and will never like me the same way (so I won't get to do those fun things with her).
I've been trying to find some answers and they are pretty good because they led me potentially try therapy, but therapy is expensive.
I think about her a lot and I feel like I really care for her, but I also understand that we can't be together (1. she never really reciprocated my romantic feelings, 2. She's in another part of the country, 3. I think I'm not really good enough to be the type of person she wants). So, while I am trying to move on, it's rough because I'm not really interested in pursuing a relationship with anyone (besides her).
I think when we were getting to know each other and I started having romantic feelings, there was this way she made me feel when we talked–and I'm addicted to that. So, every time I try to think about having relationships with others, it just feels off or it feels like a pain to have to get to that point when it was so effortless for me before.
And because it was so easy for me to fall so deeply and quickly, that's what made me think "this must be love"–but now, I'm not really sure.
I'd love to try to tackle my problems head on by just talking them out in some sort of video diary, but every time I try to journal my feelings I just keep getting reminded of how much progress I'm not making. Also, I'm not sure if addressing my obsessive thoughts would be the same as encouraging them. I heard about this thing called neutralizing for OCD and it's supposed to not be helpful.
maybe the video diary is a good idea? or even looking into how romance is portrayed and skewed in society/media and how we as a population need to manage our expectations when it comes to love.
hope your heart feels better anon. nothing worse than being lovesick. I wish you the best.
keep us posted on your progress though please, I'm rooting for you.
(sorry for the LITERAL ted talk link lmao but i find this stuff interesting and cathartic)
Thanks, I really appreciate that.
I actually have felt so much better in the last hour or 2 than I have in the past month, so maybe I can keep it up for 50 years!
You sound vain.
Narcissism means you're self-important, lack empathy, and are manipulative to reach your ends.
They're separate things. A narcissist has such an ego that I think they would struggle even anonymously admitting their inadequacies.
Vanity is looking at yourself constantly because you think you’re so goddamn gorgeous.
Anon is constantly or obsessively checking for imagined flaws because others might find those flaws disgusting or offputting.
To be vain doesn't necessarily mean you're gorgeous, it means you're obsessed with your appearance.
Anon is vain. If she believes she looks ugly or unkempt without fixing herself in the bathroom she gets anxious. Lmao.
That's true, but only to an extent. Average people aren't really punished for not being 10/10s, they just dont get the same social rewards and validation. If anon is genuinely unattractive enough to be at risk of insults or discrimination or poor treatment, fair enough, it's warranted insecurity and self preservation. If she's normal looking but wants all the benefits of being gorgeous, we have to be honest and admit that's vanity.
I say this as a normal looking person who will never get particularly good or bad treatment for my looks. It took me a while to accept that my pity parties and insecurites were not justified. Deep down I was just greedy for special treatment and my vanity was a reflection of that. It's better to get used to the idea that maybe you're just average, like most people are.
>>467751>adjective, vain·er, vain·est.
excessively proud of or concerned about
one's own appearance, qualities, achievements, etc.; conceited:>proceeding from or showing pride in or concern about one's appearance, qualities, etc.; resulting from or displaying vanity:
It can definitely include people who are just too obsessed with their looks.
Haha, anon I'm not gonna try to make you feel worse if you don't like us calling what you're doing vain.
But I will say that it's not normal, and it's not narcissism. If it's affecting the way you function maybe you should talk to a therapist about it before it snowballs. You should be able to take a break at work without obsessing about your appearance.
so, like, most of that definition is in regard to being prideful, and 89% of definitions specifically only define it by holding a high opinion of yourself, but you searched for the 1 definition that included vague concern when almost all of them don't include vague concern at all. it goes on to use conceited as a synonym. conceited is vain, but conceited does not mean to just be fixated. anon, please, colloquially and by the book, almost all definitions specifically define it by holding yourself in high esteem and being fixated on yourself on that basis. you can continue to insist that 3 people in the world are using your definition so that makes her vain, but definitions are about facilitating communication and deliberately choosing the 1 definition that makes vague mention of "concern" while still primarily focusing on the fact that it's about being prideful in the same definition, over the many that specifically define it by holding your looks in high esteem, is dumb. >>467757
the anon you're responding to is kind of retarded, dw.
no, i dislike people misusing terms when speaking about mental health. you're using it incorrectly when speaking about someone's mental health and that's inappropriate. use it on people who are sincerely vain, not people who are anxious?>>467766
so another person is wrong, fabulous? another person misusing the word doesn't make your definition right. that's not what being vain is. she's obsessing, yes, but vain necessarily excludes obsession that is based on negative emotions.
>>467768>but vain necessarily excludes obsession that is based on negative emotions
You're making up definitions yourself.
I guess I can understand why it's not as attractive to be labeled as conceited and vain as opposed to having some 2deep mental illness, which you have yet to specify.
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End me now bros, pulled an all nighter to finish an essay for uni that I left to last minute bc duh, I'm a big big idiot incapable of learning from my mistakes, and I feel so dead. Have slept like 4-5 hours a night the entire week, as of now I'm awake for 23 hours and can only go to sleep in further 3 (other uni shit I can't skip), I feel like my perception is slightly to the left of my body but am too nauseous to have any more nicotine gum or caffeine. (When) will I ever learn??
a feeling or deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from one's own achievements, the achievements of those with whom one is closely associated, or from qualities or possessions that are widely admired.
"he takes great pride in his appearance"
anon anxiously checking, obsessing and fixing her appearance out of low self esteem is the opposite of pride, the basic premise of vanity. she's just insecure and maybe has a kind of body dysmorphia.
. Anon's actions are vain and for some reason you really cannot accept it.
This is the second time you've thrown around the word retard because someone doesn't agree with you. All your 'nta-ing' in the world can't hide the fact that you've been at this for hours cause you wanted validation for being 'mentally ill' but instead got called conceited and vain like the first worlder that you are.
I didn't post that definition, someone else did and I agreed with it. And regardless of semantics, what you're doing is indicative that you may need to talk to a professional about your obsession instead of getting mad at anonymous people who don't pity you for this conceited tripe.
Men have a fertility window too.
There are some women who get pregnant past 40.
There are some men who can impregnate people past 40.
It doesn't mean they're at their ideal fertility windows and won't have children with downs if they do.
Women can get pregnant younger than 35, but generally speaking most of us want to enjoy our teens and 20s without the burden of child rearing.
Are you ok?
i agree with you anon, having a uterus is a curse.
like bringing a kid into this world is hard enough without having to do it a. at the right time and b. on ever-changing social terms. I hate it too.
Unless there's something wrong hormonally with your body you don't enter menopause in your 30s.
You can have children safely into your 30s.
You're buying too much into "the wall" memes on the internet and it shows.
You sound manic as hell right now. Geriatrics at 30…ahahahahaha. How old are you?
nta, it sucks but honestly and I get why you're distressed but taking into account a) number of decent men b) the shitty world we live in, maybe it's better not to.>>467885
S?he said considered. Judging by the media and also some anons here, the society really has a harsh "expiration date" for women.
Yeah but those people and media are idiots and aren't rooted in scientific fact at all. There's a lot of bizarre stuff on Reddit that I'd never take to make generalizations like that.
Anon needs to calm down. It's not like a woman doesn't have purpose if she lacks the ability to reproduce anyway.
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>>467886>Judging by the media and also some anons here, the society really has a harsh "expiration date" for women.
it seems that way, but when you reach that age nothing actually happens. most people can't even guess age properly.
hollywood and entertainment in general are bizarro worlds. the standards they enforce within those circles are so different and detached from regular life, there's no reason to internalize the crap they shit out.
>>467889> It's not like a woman doesn't have purpose if she lacks the ability to reproduce anyway.
I entirely agree.
Also I'm putting my tinfoil hat on but sometimes I think those are male posters deliberately trying to make women panic to settle down why there's still chance.
I have seen men using silly tactics before. Like, I would read posts on reddit where a man admits to pressuring his sister into not pursuing career but settling with his friend and being a housewife because she doesn't have enough time. Or a boyfriend encouraging his gf to give up on university by cherrypicking articles of women who regretted pursuing their career and having troubles settling down in their 30s. Though I'm most likely wrong. Women do get a lot of pressure to do tons of stuff before they're considered old by society's standard and I can see how one could feel extreme despair but there's just something that alarmed my scroteradar.
Now a related vent, I hate the cool wine aunt meme being pushed. It's just another flavour of spinster and cat lady to denigrate women that choose to stay alone.
I'm much more pissed over the fact that we still get our periods 10+ years after we aren't really fertile anymore. Who tf designed this?
And like the other anons say, you sound like you need some serious mental help if you think giving birth to and raising children is all you're good for as a woman. Or you're a shitposting man.
>Judging by the media and also some anons here, the society really has a harsh "expiration date" for women.
At some point everyone naturally comes to the realization that most of mainstream media and media in general is catered to teenagers and 20somethings because thats the demographic with most leisure time and lowest standards to buy random crap. You are not literally old in the general sense but you are getting too old to be a part of the main demographic that most trends are targeting, you are simply not being catered to directly, new movies, new hot bands, new fashion, etc, they are not speaking to you proper. Some people realize this sooner than others because they can't get over how trite and bullshit everything seems all of the sudden and are constantly fallion out of the loop, others are more oblivious and take more time to get used to it because they feel they can still get into some new stuff thats hyped but are annoyed that all the people around them are 10 yr younger at least, they just haven't figured out why.
When you hit 30 you can either be aware, soul search a bit and find different comfy hobbies for yourself that are more specific to you or you can spend your days online pretending you are still a teenager , and a ~cool girl~ that totally gets what the kids are into while following a bunch of content made for teenagers so you can vicariously be a teen forever (spoiler: you can't be a teen forever) .
>>467859>why the fuck do we live so long?
Women have abnormally long lives after menopause because we're actually useful beyond procreating.
Of course it would be good if we had a longer fertility period, but the solution to how unfair it is that men can keep procreating is to never, ever fuck with an older man. Women have to stop that shit and only go with equally young men who still have healthy sperm and avoid kids with autism/adhd. >>465946>so they're shit at guessing the age of a 29 year old who looks her age.
Yep, definitely. It's considered a compliment if someone guesses a late 20s to be in their early 20s but like, why the fuck would they look any different? That's only a few years, there's nothing (natural) that should drastically age you during that period. I think they're conflating 'looking young' with an age they consider young. A 29 yr old can look young because they ARE young, not because they look 24.
My job has this thing where you can reassign specific jobs and orders to others if you're about to clock out or if you go on break.
I work the late shift, so I'm used to getting a bunch of weird orders that haven't been finished, but someone reassigned something almost 10 minutes (9 if you want to be super technical) before they were scheduled to leave and the kicker is they didn't even try to start working on the order.
I reached out to the person who was absolutely still there and I just told her I was disappointed she reassigned it so early and yeah I was being kinda annoying but I definitely wasn't in the wrong
especially because at the end of the day, there are a bunch of orders that haven't been touched because we just haven't gotten to them in time and then this person had the order in their group for like 10 minutes while they went on a short little break
but here's what really bothers me, she kinda had an attitude and acted as if it was completely normal (it might be normal in practice as in many people might do it, but it's not really the policy)–so I'm just confused as to why she seemed to be annoyed with me, I'm the one who has to take care of what she didn't do
Now I'm having these stress fantasies where she tries to bully me as if we were in high school (I'm not going to lie, the highschool setting is probably because she's hot and popular and maybe I wish I could re do those years)
I don't have to work tomorrow so I doubt I'll have to deal with it when I return, but the last thing she said was "and who are you" and I was thinking about saying "I'm the one who has to clean up your shit job" or something bitchy, but that would probably be shitty and turn against me so I just gave her a description of myself
I probably wouldn't feel bad about calling her out, but I'm not making a big deal of it–unless she brings it up to anyone, then she'd be the only one who knew
Ahh, gotta love it when you tell people exactly what's wrong but they get a surprised pikachu face after you explode at them for prodding at you for the umpteenth time.
My mom was such a stupid bitch when it came to things like that, she actually considered herself a victim
because she couldn't treat and do whatever she wanted to me. She'd argue with me in circles if I dared stood up against her disrespecting me. How dare we have limits and boundaries!
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i want to be an instagram model so so badly, modelling has always been a personal dream of mine since im very into fashion and visual areas, but then i was too fat, then too ugly, and now too short
E-fame is the closest thing to my crappy dream and booi do i want it, i haven't done anything to achieve it, and honestly don't even post on instagram that much because sites like lolcow made me afraid of coming off too attwhore-ish
You are just going to get horrible stretch marks.
Up your intake through 2 months or so.
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The Architect approves of this plan.
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sperg incoming. I posted this elsewhere, but I'm 0.1% more hopeful that any farmers who use shopping services might be able to give me some advice
>trying to top up my Zenmarket account
>card gets declined, even though I have money
>try using my other card, it also gets declined
>contact customer service
>they say to ask my bank or the payment service company
>bank says there's nothing up with my card(s) and that it must be a mistake on the website's end
>contact ZM again telling them all this, and asking them very politely to try and investigate things on their end (my country could've been blocked by accident or something)
>also send an email to the payment service company (Stripe) asking if they could've auto-blocked my country, just in case
>mfw hours later, ZM send me back the SAME "ask your bank or the payment service company" message as before, almost verbatim
>mfw seeing people talk about how great ZenMarket's customer service supposedly is
I don't know if I'm just being a Karen, but this honestly strikes me as incredibly rude. I hate asking customer service for help and having them just give the same canned responses, as if they don't actually care about assisting you and just want you to piss off.
I know your job isn't fun. I'm being as polite as I can, so can you at least do the same, or maybe direct me to someone who actually might be able to help me with my problem? IIRC, with Stripe, declined transactions are supposed to be logged on some sort of dashboard and come with an error code that only the merchant can see. Don't you think it'd be helpful to tell me what the code is so I have some inkling of an idea of what went wrong, and touch ground with Stripe (or my bank) about it? If you personally can't check it, why wouldn't you find someone who can and let me know?
I mean, Jesus christ. Anything but this useless reply.
I'm waiting on Stripe to respond, but I'm not so hopeful about them either. If they think my cards are fraudulent, I have no idea how I'm going to convince them I'm legit. It makes me so fucking upset, because everything was just fine before this.
It's actually making me paranoid, because on the list of decline error codes, the "solution" for the code that's generated because Stripe thinks the person's card is "fraudulent" is "Do not report more detailed information to your customer. Instead, present as you would the generic_decline described below."
The "next step" for the generic_decline code is just "The customer needs to contact their card issuer for more information."
I contacted my card issuer. They said I'm fine. What am I supposed to do? If it's proof you want, why not ask for that? Why deliberately make things difficult and be as obstinate as possible? Are you trying to lose customers or something?
Sorry for autism, I'm just stressed and don't want to dump all of this on people I'm close to.
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My fucking electricity and internet went out while I was doing my statistics homework so the stupid ass problem I was working on that took forever to calculate is fucking gone. I hate this bulllshit, why the fuck did I go back to school.
Also I bought a rabbit vibrator but the little knob doesn't even reach my clit and the vibration strength is shit. I regret buying this piece of shit.
Police presence in conservative towns and cities are willing to go out their way to give you 6 mile over speeding tickets but are apathetic when it comes to actual crimes like sexual assault and murder. You wouldn't believe how many murderers and rapists roam 100% free in conservative cities in America, often going unnoticed mind you
With poverty it's because of student debt and a mix of the employment issue in America combined with high prices of living. Talk all the shit you want but in Europe most 18 yr olds are fully capable of moving out and supporting themselves, in America there are grown ass adults with master degrees struggling to get by and young adults struggling to find stable jobs in their field
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>>468203>but in Europe most 18 yr olds are fully capable of moving out and supporting themselves,
Lmfao burguers say the darnest things
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hi retarded latina
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>>468213>you aren't going to be murdered possibly for living without a Trump sign in your yard in a highly red district.
Neither are you
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>>468243>where the locals post in all the private fb groups pictures of their guns and violent fantasies about killing people
Yeah anon, how could i ever know what that's like.(racebait)
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Cue the iconic American deflecting to da blakz when confronted about their psychopathy and mental illness
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kek, seems like america actually isnt doing too bad in terms of homelessness rates. theres an bunch of european and other oecd countries with higher rates.
i love listening to delusional americans who seem to hallucinate that they live in some kind of 3rd world middle eastern warzone and think that most of the rest of the world, especially europe and certain parts of east asia, are a magical fairytale land where nothing is ever wrong. americans seem to either think they live in the best country in the world or literal syria, and its incredibly annoying to seen this bullshit everywhere, its unavoidable. if you open up a thread or discussion on ANY website and scroll down far enough, you will find a comment of either americans complaining about america or complaining about trump. cant you all stfu for even 5 minutes and stop being so neurotic.
the median wage per capita in the US is around 30000 dollars, maybe even higher idk, to put it into perspective, the median wage for the whole world is around 10000 dollars, and im pretty sure thats household income too but im too tired to check. the world median household income is literally lower than the poverty threshold for a single american person (around 11000 dollars i think), thats how high the standards of american poverty are. even in your precious europe, especially in central and eastern europe, but i think in a few west europe countries too, the median household income is less than half of the per capita median american wage, and many of those countries have lower purchasing power too. and thats not even touching the situation of the rest of the world. theres also the high purchasing power in america, its pretty much on par with places like norway, sweden, the uk and australia afaik.
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>>468249>>468246>implying the people pictured vote
Gangbangers are just morons, not morons with a psychotic agenda like far right fucktards are.
Nice racebait though
Which is more or less the same as being a red person in a blue state. >>468253
is spot on, the Country is balkanizing. We can cross our fingers and hope it does so peacefully but then supposing it's not so peaceful just be on a friendly side of it before idiot men start shooting.
>>468232>Is it really that awful if many people are still capable of having apartments and houses ?
Please tell me who those "many people" are. Where the fuck do you get those impressions from? In my whole life as a lower middleclass to poor child, I only met one (1) girl whose parents could afford a house because they were loaded. Most in my income class don't even plan on getting a house like americans do because they are so fucking expensive and you don't get loans so easily. I could rant on on what a pain it is to even get an apartment if you can afford it as a student or just young person in general but I'm starting to think you are baiting anyway.>Tell me who has the higher homeless rate and we will see how bad muh taxes are compared to going millions in debt of student loans
This is just a modified version of the pain olympics isn't it. Listen, just because your country is shit that doesn't mean Europe is this magical continent where there are no poor people and rent is dirtcheap. It's delusional af and you will be just as poor under the conditions you are in right now as a burger if you come to europe. And yes, the amount of homeless people in the US and Europe are rougly the same.
NTAYRT, but honestly tell me what do you think of the following:
>Expensive prices of U.S university and community colleges effectively causing a student debt problem that has been going on for decades>Mediocre wages and increasing need for higher degrees which increases the debt issue I outlined in my previous point>The massive privatized healthcare industry and the obesity epidemic that is being purposely fueled to keep the healthcare industry growing bigger each year>The less restricted and unregulated ingredients in the food which helps said obesity epidemic to grow and the fact many US cities and towns have non available walking areas and heavily rely on car transportation w/ poor train/bus transportation except for some cities like NYC >Many of the cities that DO have a walking friendly culture or not a suburban sprawl or a place with food deserts are having the gentrification issue and becoming expensive to live in for even the natives>The political insanity pushed by the media and the racebaiting rhetoric everyone in America adheres to>The gap between the rich and the poor increasing even as the American dream is still being sold and there is a lot of ass-kissers who think that sucking up to the elite/rich will make them rich one day and a lot of Americans actively seek to keep people in their "line" whether that be because they are broke, or a different race, or a different political group, ect
America may be richer on average than many first world countries and have less homeless rates but what about these problems? It's not Syria and not the terrible place in the world but it's still a cause of concern
If they're private groups how do even know what they're posting?
Just keep your politics quiet and to yourself and nobody will ever know.
Then save up to move away, but don't you dare come to Washington, we're full.
Samefag, Republicans and undercover-Republicans cough
John Bel Edwards cough
ISIS weren't stamped out they just achieved what they set out to do. Do you think they really thought they could take over entire nations where muslims made up 5%, or less of the population? They destabilized the ME, and as a response Europe and America flung open their borders to millions of muslims.
The online groups you're talking about are just a symptom. Those can be infiltrated, or deleted, but they will just spring up again because that doesn't address the cause. You can't stomp out tensions between groups caused by proximity without moving, or allowing the movement of one of the aggravated groups. That's the problem. They can't move on their own and so the tension will keep getting worse until it can't be ignored, or the cultural cold war, heats up.
The presence of ISIS or ISIS lite ideologies have been stomped out in presence from the mainstream and even more fringe outskirts of the internet. I remember there was a clear interest in ISIS and a lot of sympathizers in like 2015-2016 though a lot of that was aggravated by media panic and moral outrage. There's enough people in Western countries to sympathize with those core ideas so while the whole country wouldn't have been hypnotized under the influence of ISIS since that doesn't happen with most radical ideologies. What at most would have happened is that there would have been an extreme minority that followed it while subliminally influencing the greater, more temperate minority but since the 'good'web users did hell of a good job of pushing it out of sight and so did agents we barely see it anymore. Even if at the forefront it's about Islam the core is that it's about being ostracized and pushed away from society and trying to follow what is right, which is the same core of Alt Right or any other male dominated radical political, religious, or societal movement since forever.
I agree that there is a real live tension of these groups but I disagree that it can't simply just be neutralized or calmed down a little bit. Most people won't remember this for obvious reasons but the American public went from embracing misogynistic and racist views as a part of their lifestyle to women and non-white races being viewed as equal to whites and deserving of the same fairness and respect to the point even the American nationalistic vision of being the worldwide police was gently wrapped in an altruistic delivery. The 90's and 2000's were all about "It's our duty as American to protect the world from the dangers, blah blah blah" in its programming to straight up "fuck those non-whites and muzzies, bomb their countries and close our borders" in just 10-20 years.. from what was being put on the spotlight BY American politics. People like Donald Trump who closely mirrored those views and seemed amicable to the formerly fringe Alt Right wouldn't have been chosen if they didn't want it to.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
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That's not at all what I said but go off babes. I'm sorry people on the internet don't like the guy you voted for.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
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I have another phone interview tomorrow, for a position where I'd be in over my head insofar as the skills. There's some shit that I objectively don't know how to do, but I feel like I gotta bullshit and fake it til I make it lest I NEVER get my foot in the door to get the god damn experience in the first place! It's really prolific and I hope I get it, not to mention I need the fucking money even though they're gonna low ball me due to the first recruiter's observation that I'm clearly a noob. I just hope I don't make a complete fool outta myself.
How dare I want a livable wage that can pay down my debts, right? Wish me luck, my pathetic ass will need it.
It's weird, because other sites are working fine when I try to buy from them. There's no hold or ban on my card or anything. I called my bank a few times, and they insisted they didn't block any website or freeze my card.
It all leads me to believe it's ZenMarket. I even made some piddly purchase with a store that uses Stripe just to test things out, and it worked, so whatever's going on is apparently just on ZM.
Stripe's customer service also got back to me saying they wouldn't have blocked me unless I'm from one of a handful of restricted countries (I'm not), and confirmed that the merchant would know the problem. They were also way more polite, so that was nice.
I'm too tired to even confront Zen Market about this, I think I'll just stop using them for a while. There are some nice benefits to it that none of the other shopping services available to me have, but as I've just discovered, the customer service is complete shit and I'm on my own if anything happens. Maybe it'll work again in like a week or a month if/when I really need the few advantages, who knows.
I'm just glad I didn't leave any of my money with them, or have any items sitting in their warehouse as this all was going on. That could've been a nightmare.
you could try setting up a chore rota and manipulating your housemates into thinking it was their idea? If they're really resistant and you absolutely can't move out, it might even be worth hiring a cleaner once or twice a week and splitting the cost. I know that sounds kind of extreme, but I do know people who have done this.
I broke lease in a similar housing situation. i had 7 housemates (mostly scrotes) and i was the only one who even bothered loading the dishwasher. I barely left my room and tried to get most of my calories in at college or with snacks i kept in my room. When I did "cook" it was mostly with the microwave. I bought myself a new tefal frying pan when I moved in just for my vegetarian shit, wrote my name on the handle in tippex, asked them not to use it and they ruined it. the whole experience was awful. i'm never living with men again.
It's not just me anon, it's literally every person around my age I know. Lots of Americans talk about this. Just ignore or avoid vent threads if people venting about something valid
to vent about like shitty living conditions triggers
you(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
About a year ago, I broke up with my boyfriend of 5 years because he cheated on me. I was hurt, but not very much, for some reason? I left because it was logically the correct thing to do but I still liked him. We stayed friends and meet up sometimes. He wants to date me again so I've been considering it until recently.
I met a girl on a website for a really obscure interest. We've only been speaking for a few weeks but when we do it's like I've met my soulmate. For reference, I'm a bisexual girl, and the guy who cheated on me is the only guy I've dated. I enjoyed dating him, but there was always something that didn't… fulfill me. I felt like that hole was filled when I met this girl. I hardly know her, I don't know what she looks like (aside from some baby photos she sent me so I could laugh at them), but we're really honest with each other and I truly feel like there's something there. She hits on me all the time but has also told me she never gets crushes, so I think she's just joking and my stupid ass is falling for it. I hardly know this girl but I can't stop thinking about her. I keep having dreams about her and how I imagine she looks now. She lives near me and has told me that we could meet up sometime if I want, but I think I'd turn into a puddle if I got to see her face to face.
I hardly know this girl and I have an insane crush on her. This never happens to me, all the people I've ever dated came to me about their feelings and I basically said "yeah, sure, let's date." I refuse to tell the people close to me because I'm ashamed of how strongly I feel. And at the same time I have my ex hitting on me completely unaware of all this. I want to find something about her to dislike so I can stop my feelings but even her obvious flaws don't bother me much.
Fuck. I'm a grown woman having my first real crush.
I naturally avoid he/she her/him in my language, I always have done so, for no mystical reason. Using neutral words/avoiding he/him she/he is easy when you are already using the sentence structure that does not require it.
"Where is she?"
"Where are they?"
"What did he say?"
"What did they say?"
"It's understandable they gave that to him."
"It's understandable _name was chosen for this prize."
You don't need to speak in garbled English to avoid gendered pronouns. I'm not a TRA by the way, just making the point it isn't that difficult to do.
I'd talk to your partner about this. I had a similar situation and then it turned out while he was inviting me all the time one of his friends really disliked me, but he kept inviting me.
I finally just took him aside bc the guy got obnoxious at him about their "bro time" and was accusing him of letting me control his life, that I never asked for them to invite me and perhaps they never should have again after that became apparent. I made it clear that while I appreciated my bf at the time thinking of me I didn't think it was necessary.
I'd take him a aside and just be like, look, I'm not accusing anyone of anything here and I'm not really upset about it, but it definitely seems like your friends aren't really interested in including me, and to be frank, I don't mind, I have friends, it's ok for couples to have different friends. Maybe make a compromise and while you still go with them every once and awhile, most of the time you either stay home, get some me time, or hang with your friends. You gotta make it clear you really don't mind and would in fact prefer it, nothing against his friends, it's just pretty clear a close, involved relationship with them isn't happening and that's ok.
If he keeps insisting idk. I think it's really kinda weird and controlling when I've heard about guys like this, where you MUST be close to all his friends and 100% like each other and hang out. This is a situation you can have your cake and eat it too, it's perfectly normal and even healthy for couples to spend time apart with other people.
"People" being someone like Contra who doesn't think they
is validating enough even though it's a perfectly normal English word to use in any situation.
Being respectful and being validating are two different things, nobody is owed validation. It's essentially demanding to be referred to as sexy or pretty since that's what "she" means to AGPs. They/them is fine for any situation.
Don't let society trap you in the mentality that you owe it to your parents for them having provided you with the bare minimum.
It's inappropriate to siphon money away from their own children, period.
It may be more of a bitch but it sounds like you cannot keep your credit card on file lest your mom continues to abuse it when you're not looking.
Love self-centred parents who think that they're supposed to be financially reimbursed for CHOOSING raise a kid and doing the bare minimum, then acting shocked that their kids don't have the same obligation.
You're a student with a part time job, she's a grown ass woman who obviously has the means to support you. She can pay for her own frivolous Amazon purchases.
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bht running lunch told my dietician but she aalreeadyy has a fruit exchange! when i asked if i may have pickle slices on a burger. wtft lady if those 2 cals of salt count as an exchange then i can't wait to gain some mf weight. i asked her if shes retarded, i made a normal request and can she use common sense that a pickle has no nutrional value so why can 3 pchips be an issue.
Anger problems, wtf are you talking about? Why are you blaming yourself for being rightfully annoyed by him? He sounds straight up gross, imagine living with that for the rest of your life…
Fact is, you don't owe it to him to 'try' and be happy with him. You should just be happy, and if not what is the point? I can't understand clinging to a relationship you dont enjoy.
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Welp, the guy I've been seeing for a couple months who was saying really serious things about our relationship decided to suddenly dump me tonight.
He texted an accusation that he'd seen me chatting to my ex, that he's not an idiot, told me he hated cheaters, and bye.
He just said "I love you" to me but three hours ago, and now suddenly it's 'You're a cheater and I hate you." It's the second time he's baselessly accused me of speaking to my ex, whom I don't talk to and who has a gf. I texted him back to please not do that to me because I had told him I was already upset and exhausted over my failed job interview earlier today. I thought we had settled this issue from the first time. Also said if he was really set on this that he could look at the last messages I sent which were in June. My ex had messaged me something supportive after I went no contact with my mom. Hadn't chatted since.
He never replied, and didn't answer any of my calls.
He said the last girl he saw was "cheating" and then claimed his long term ex also probably "cheated." He said he was a jealous person, but the first time he accused me of cheating I legitimately thought it was a misunderstanding. Guess not, it was actually a red flag and evidently he was going to accuse me again. Either way I don't like being emotionally held hostage and accused of shit I didn't do.
I'm already tinfoiling that he's found someone else and just needed an excuse to dump me, and also concoct an innocent victim story for the next girl to dupe.
I don't care about someone who treats people like this. I just care about my own hurt feelings and my aspirations, and how men like this constantly trample over them when I didn't do anything wrong because of their own insecurities and inadequacies.
At least I got some decent meals and some free shit on my birthday which was literally last weekend. I even introduced this asshole to my dad. That's how much I almost trusted him.
But I never updated my social media to say I was in a relationship for precisely this reason. No one except my closest friends and the one who hooked me up with this dude will know. It's my way of vetting dudes to make sure they're stable and will stick around.
This guy is in his 30s and is way too old to be pulling this high school shit.
I genuinely feel like he genuinely loves me and does a lot for me. He does most of the chores, always pleases me in bed, goes with me outside to do errands to make them less boring for me, gets me little gifts, is actually ok with me not working at all if it makes me unhappy (I still am though), wants me to save my money instead of paying our bills… Also he always changes things if I'm direct and honest with him. It's just he's infuriating in some ways… I wish I could look past the more vapid stuff because he genuinely loves me and I love him as well. I just get annoyed super easily. The stuff like him not showering every day and wearing stupid shit I feel 100% justified in though, it's just the smaller things I feel petty about.>>468690
I try not to ask him too much about it in fear of making it worse, but one time he told me that his body is "picky." I've actually made sure he hasn't done anything for the past week and it just seems like he has a low sex drive… I'm usually fine with it because he always makes sure that I'm satisfied, but sometimes it's a little disappointing emotionally that he doesn't seem to stay hard for long…
I'm still pretty hurt. My narcissist mother used to accuse me of shit I didn't do all the time to emotionally manipulate me, forcing me to pine after her to make up for the affront I didn't even commit.
It enrages me.
When he accused me the first time I made it clear that I wanted him to talk to me irl, when the concern first happens so the air can be cleared then and there. But no, he did the same "saw x happen a few days ago" in order to gaslight me. When, and on what app? I was probably talking to my friends and this asshole wants to pretend I'm juggling five exes yet somehow spending literally all my time with him.
I fucking hate him for wasting my time and trying to muck my character just because he's insecure about stupid, easily disproven horseshit.
it makes sense that you'd be uncomfortable. if nothing else, it makes him look really seedy.
i don't think he means anything emotionally bad by it - i think he just might not understand that it's a bit of a self-esteem ouch to know your SO is thirsting over models/cosplayers online. which should be obvious but also men.jpg
it's not unusual for sex to take less priority as a long-term relationship goes on. maybe suggest both of you have a date night or something? get dressed up, go out, have a nice night, specifically go and do couple stuff, fuck like rabbits when ya get home?
also: if you're stressed, is he? libido (and the ability to keep it up) for men can be effected by stress>>468720
this would make sense if it was just small/local cosplayers he follows, but i'm willing to bet the bigger names (jessica nigri et al) appear in the follow list.
It does seem like people don't realize how extreme a disability autism can be. I can see why, in every day life it's common to meet people on the spectrum who are weird but don't seem legitimately handicapped, and the media loves autistic savants.
>It reconfirmed a thousand times over that I would never want an autistic child
Yep, I've read a lot of stories from parents with autistic kids and it seems like an absolute nightmare. Also, a reminder for anons never to reproduce with an old man or when there's an age gap between you>* Autism rates were 66 percent higher among children born to dads over 50 years of age than among those born to dads in their 20s. Autism rates were 28 percent higher when dads were in their 40s versus 20s.>* Autism rates were 18 percent higher among children born to teen moms than among those born to moms in their 20s.>* Autism rates were 15 percent higher in children born to mothers in their 40s, compared to those born to moms in their 20s>* Autism rates rose still higher when both parents were older, in line with what one would expect if each parent’s age contributed to risk.>* Autism rates also rose with widening gaps between two parents’ ages. These rates were highest when dads were between 35 and 44 years old and their partners were 10 or more years younger. Conversely, rates rose when moms were in their 30s and their partners were 10 or more years younger.>https://www.autismspeaks.org/science-news/large-study-parent-age-autism-finds-increased-risk-teen-moms
Makes me rage that men obsess over fertile youthful women out of fear of downs (or so they say) but completely ignore their old sperm causing autism at a much higher rate than old eggs.
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>>468737>and the media loves autistic savants.
This is seriously one of my most hated media myths. Autists and asspergers are not savants, they are quite the opposite, they have trouble even performing at base level most of the time and require patience from even the most mediocre normies. Their IQ level is average or below. I am completely in favor of tolerance and inclusion but that is very different to giving autists false ideas of self importance that are harmful to them and anyone who has to deal with their bs on a regular basis.
They are not even self aware enough to realize how inept and dumb they are and don't realize the difference between someone being polite to someone really agreeing with their antics and the retardo shit they come up with, the worst thing to do is to put in their heads that they are actually misunderstood savant geniuses, when they believe it, it absolutely ruins them forever.
This. The reason why autistic savants exist is that they get hyperfixated on some very specific subject and can perform in it far exceeding the average due to the vigorous practice. It's not because they have an IQ of 300.
My friend from school had a brother who was a low-functioning autist, he could barely speak and acted like an animal. People ignore how awful it is for family members to deal with these cases that become extremely violent and can't function on their own at all and only talk about the fabled Rain Man type who's just a sympathetic misunderstood genius. That's why they believe it's "unethical" to seek a cure for autism.
I honestly believe a lot of "high-functioning" autists have simply been misdiagnosed and actually have a shitty upbringing that caused them to be socially stunted and enabled their narcissism. Take Chris-chan for example, it's really up for debate if he's actually autistic or just ruined by his Norma Bates tier mother.
I highly doubt chris Chan is autistic, he seems way more like a schizoid/cluster A personality disorder. It's just that everyone on the internet thinks they're an expert on everything, and if anyone posts about any kind of mental issues, be it BPD, AVPD, OCPD, schizophrenia or whatever else there will always be commenters saying "nah you dont have that, you just have autism".
Also there is no such thing as "high functioning" autism as a diagnosis, autism is just a range of symptoms and for some the symptoms are more intense than others. I think the term high functuoning is kind if misleading.
>>468763>they get hyperfixated on some very specific subject
But that doesn't always translate to good performance anyway. An autist is someone who might get completely obsessed with guitars to an anal level of detail and after 10 years still can't even play mildly decent, even when they won't shut up about it and can't stop sperging about their specific ideosincratic pet peeves they have with guitar music and their seemingly random enciclopedic knowledge of guitar trivia they might still be low end musicians.
Everyone who has ever studied a discipline has known at least one of those asspies who seem obssesed and hyped about it but never improves.
He would 100% have done much better in another context. He was raised by two very elderly redneck parents
who were ashamed of him and thought they could hide his issues. The reason he seemed better as a kid than an adult is because being in school helped him socialize and be productive. As soon as he graduated he went downhill and had no support from either his parents or a therapist, and he had no way to interact with people his age. I really hope he gets a carer or goes to a group home after his mother passes.
Eh. I put it out there to show I'm not exactly unattractive so there's no reason for him to make such comments. I always feel like when women speak up about men being abusive
over looks they always imagine women who are fat or too skinny
I dont know what part of my comment you're referring to. I don't know much about autism, but I myself am cluster A (I have schizotypal PD which is frequently mistaken for autism/misunderstood in general) and anytime I talk about my symptoms online I get the "nah, you just have autism" comments, and whenever I watch videos from people who have BPD and other PDs there are always the "nah, you just have autism" comments.
but I'm right in saying that "high functioning autism" isn't an official diagnosis, at least according to the DSM5, I believe. Some people have really aggressive cancer that spreads fastly and kills them fast, while others have cancer that spreads slowly and can be stopped, but you wouldn't call it "high functioning cancer". Thats why its misleading, it implies that it has to do with the functioning of the person rather than the severity of the condition/symptom. Based I'm videos ive watched about autism, but if I'm wrong enlighten me.
That being said if you're going to tell someone that they don't know what they're talking about you could at least explain how instead just going "ur wrong lmao" and walking away.
i meant about chris-chan specifically not about whatever armchair shit you're spewing. chris-chan's condition has been plastered all over the internet.
as for high-functioning while it isn't a formal diagnosis, autism as a diagnosis is a spectrum. the official diag is autism spectrum disorder, the "high functioning etc" is an informal rating given to describe the severity of the symptoms. autism is a social developmental disorder, so it's fair to call it that, because the functioning in this case relates to social function.
also cancer diagnoses do have similar classifications, of course makes no sense to use the same wording lmao.
if i could hazard a guess i think that people think you have autism because of shit like this post, but it's obviously not autism, you're just trying to act extremely well versed in something you're not.
>>468836>I always feel like when women speak up about men being abusive over looks they always imagine women who are fat or too skinny
who the fuck is they, the men?
again i wasn't trying to be rude or undermine your post, just trying to point it out. not trying to assume anything about your looks, but it might be something to consider.
YEP, THERE IT IS. >"I'm really sorry about what happened last night."
No you're not faggot! You were willing to say you hated me and kicked me when I was already down because of some immature bullshit you concocted in your head. You fucking broke up with me over a text message, gaslighted me about something that allegedly happened days ago, and didn't even have the decency to talk to me about whatever imaginary bullshit bothered you.
If you'll accuse me twice of cheating, you'll never stop fucking accusing me the moment you get an idea in your head. You either want me emotionally on edge all the time, or you don't fucking trust me. Wow, such an attractive relationship prospect.
What a psycho.
A mutual friend of my close friend apparently messaged her last night saying she doesn't want to be friends anymore. I don't know the details and I'm not going to bother to pry because honestly… I just… don't care. Or maybe a better way would be to say that I just don't have the spoons to care (pls no bully). We already had a talk months ago about it, and I didn't want her to think that I was upset with her or ghosting her, I'm just… so much more easily mentally exhausted. I like to have my time after work to myself, I like to have my weekends to myself. The talk was rocky, but I just… felt like I had to stand up for myself. Sorry for not accommodating you, but I just decided that for once… I'm not going to stretch myself thin to please someone else. I'm fucking tired. We got our feelings out in the open, and it felt like things got better after that since I didn't feel constantly bombarded by her and tried to make more of an effort on my end to send her little memes and tag her in places to make her feel like I was still there (as much as I could before just sort of shitting out on myself).
Recently in the past month I feel like it's snowballed back into the situation before we had our talk. Conversation after conversation, constantly being invited out, constantly making plans in the future. I feel like she'll take offense to if I say 'hey sorry, feeling tired, don't really want to talk' because she honestly didn't really take to well to it the first time. I still don't know if it's right for me to be selfish or not. She's my best friend and sacrifices a lot for me, I should for her too, right? But I… don't want to anymore.
And then of course our mutual friend comes out to talk to her about not wanting to be friends anymore, and I'm just kind of stuck here. In between knowing that I should offer my shoulder for her to cry on because that's the right thing to do and what the old me would have done, and being 2 seconds away from fucking snapping because I'm tired of keeping up with her and know I'll end up doing the same thing (to my regret).
I don't know what to do anymore. I starting to feel comfortable in my loneliness, starting to finally feel comfortable with myself again after working through a lot of garbage earlier this year… but I feel like a shittier version of myself because I can't be there for her like I used to, because I don't feel like the me from before.
I saw her text but I really don't know how I'm supposed to respond.
Sorry for deleting the post. I deleted because I misread that she ended the friendship with you, not that the other friend ended the friendship with her.
Regardless, I'm still sorry for both of you. It's a terrible situation to be in.
People do change over time, so do our interests and priorities. I guess now it would seem like a terrible thing to just tell her you're leaving her too.
Though it does seem weird that so many people are ditching her? Maybe she's just the type of bubbly high energy person that only a few can keep up with? I'm not implying she's a terrible person just that well, it's not easy to be friends with someone like that.
I wouldn't like to be in your shoes right now as I've never been blunt myself. I always forced the drifting apart thing and hoped that the other person would get the hint after canceling so many invites, plans et cetera which I'm not proud of, but telling someone face-to-face that you don't want to be friends anymore seems so cruel yet probably miles better than the ghosting like I did.
And while she does deserve a good friend, you too shouldn't be harsh on yourself. Some friendships fall apart and it's not necessarily anyone's fault. Good luck, anon!
I ended up answering her text but I really don't think I can console her. She said our mutual friend told her she doesn't have the desire to talk to or hang out with her anymore. Now my friend feels like her self esteem is destroyed and she wished that our friend would have let the friendship fade out naturally instead of just telling her 'hey I don't want to be friends anymore'. I sympathize with her, and I feel so bad that she has to go through this again, with someone she was so
close with. At the same time, I know this was the best course of action because I feel like my friend doesn't let friendships fade out. I think it was either our mutual friend end it right there and now, or it would've just become a passive aggressive situation like with our old friends where they kept talking to/inviting her out less and less and she was upset that she wasn't included. Either way she feels hurt.
I don't really know what to do. She's a really nice and hardworking person, and we've been friends for so long for a reason, yknow? But I do think she's just that type of bubbly high energy person, but just doesn't realize how much it takes to keep up with her. I'm scared of bringing it up and hurting her feelings even more.
>>468853>the "high functioning etc" is an informal rating given to describe the severity of the symptoms.
Well according to what I've read this isn't even true. From the different articles I've read, the term "high functioning" specifically means an autistic person with an average/above average IQ for their age and no intellectual disability, but doesn't have anything to with the other symptoms. And this is why some people don't like the label "high functioning" because it implies that they function better overall which they don't necessarily, hence why it's misleading and potentially harmful. https://medicalxpress.com/news/2019-06-term-high-functioning-autism-consigned.html
>you're just trying to act extremely well versed in something you're not.
I literally said I didn't know much about autism, not sure how that's trying to act ~~~extremely well versed~~~ in it
>i meant about chris-chan specifically not about whatever armchair shit you're spewing
Okay well this one is true, I'm not even sure who chris chan is, I just googled him and he's not who I was thinking of. I was thinking of the "hiding in my room" guy or whatever he's called. I'm really bad with names, sorry.
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NTA but how come when there's someone apologizing for them being a dumbass, it's like one of you people double down on insulting that person? I don't get the psychology behind this extremely common internet phenomena. I even see it on social media
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Im seriously SO tired of the obsession with anal sex to the point where literal teen magazines post nothing but articles about anal sex all day
every males online website has been nothing but anal and choking and spitting for awhile but its leaking to womens and teen girl magazines
its so fucking abnormal and scary and I really feel bad for girls that are having to grow up in this era and what they're going to have to deal with because its only going to be worse things as time goes on
She said she didn't know much about autism and she is also bad with remembering names basically admitting defeat and showing submissiveness.
Sure it wasn't said in the OP post but the last post which that person replied to is what was her final say. I also don't understand why on the internet there is some unwritten rule why the OP is the final saying of someone's opinion and some static thing even though real world conversations don't work like that.
Idk, even though she seems pretty autistic this is also autistic and socially awkward.
a lot of the male websites that do articles about anal actually do let ~females~ write the articles
or at least they claim its females but i dont know if i believe it, if it is actually women its probably the same kind of women that believe theres nothing wrong with pornography and lie about the females in the scene actually enjoying it
People are just horny fucks anon. Teens both girls and boys are just horny fucks. It's only until recently people admit females are in fact are curious about sex and think about it a lot and different forms of it.
Not supporting girls being pressured into anal or anything of course, but it's just straight delusion to act as if the evil jews or whatever are instilling questions and thoughts about sex into girls heads. Teen girls have always been curious about sex
um. women being expected to lose their virginity to anal sex is a relatively new thing. my mom and grandma were just ranting about this the other day and how fucking weird it is so.
sort of the same topic but my cousin is getting sex ed shit about how safe and fulfilling anal can be in health class. this is not the same as hurr durr people are horny, this is 'dudes find assfucking hot so best get ready'
fuck that shit
What fucks me up is how these applications still expect you to be in good memorable standing with said reference a few years out. I generally don't keep super close contact with my references once I leave my old jobs. Secondly, I've always performed well but I think even the best performer's accomplishments would eventually be forgotten after 2-3 years in an industry that has high turnover. I'm fine with companies confirming dates of employment, but it's such a shit deal to expect these past connection to care enough to fill out a damn survey.
Evidently a lot of people just ask their friends and family members to lie about their references. It just gets tricky doing that since they gotta remember to keep the story straight and talk professionally.
Ugh. That reminds me. It's been a while since I went through sex ed, but I remember being taught how to put on a condom, and the teacher encouraged us to "try doing it with your mouth, boys tend to like that!"
I swore to never give a guy oral back then and I never have. Fuck that.
The whole employment application process is super dated and pointless. Everyone knows that to get jobs you lie like hell on your resume and at the interview for the best possible shot. Except the boomers interviewing you, apparently, they actually think you're super excited about synergy and company values and selling your soul for the brand.>>468993
TF? I'd never put my mouth anywhere near a condom, the smell of latex is gag inducing.
I remember similar stuff like that. I guess sex ed teachers thought that if they taught us those kinds of degrading ways to make our boyfriends wear protection, then it was still better than getting an STD or knocked up. The lesser of two evils if you will.
At least I can see how fellatio and vaginal intercourse would remain natural inclinations for teenagers experimenting.
I am shocked that they're starting to teach anal sex in a health class. I wonder how normalized other fetishes will become in the future so much that they'll start to become standard topics in a health class.
Can you imagine?
why can't you suck dick when you have your period
Not that you asked for any advice, I just found your situation relatable and wanted to share some ideas that have helped me cope with shitty men while protecting my feelings in the dating realm:
If I make myself too available and put in too much effort early, men will take me for granted and pull away from my enthusiasm. This has always hurt me because the truth is I love being romantic and being in relationships, but too often my feelings get taken advantage of and played. Selfish men will see my joy and want to destroy it just to prove they can manipulate me and exert power over how I feel. Men love having women cry over them because they think that proves their desirability and feeds into their ego.
I choose not to give them this power.
I know them first before I truly reciprocate, a "trial" period–if you will. I don't even let my friends or loved ones know I'm in a relationship until a man has proved his role to me.
Many men enjoy novelty and playing games. Rather than risk sticking my neck out by being direct with my emotions, I let men chase after me to prove what they're willing to do for me. I get plenty of rejections, but I lose nothing at the end of my day. Before, I used to worship any little thing men did for me. I realized I was inadvertently setting a low bar. Now, whenever they're nice and sweet, I express my gratitude but make it known that I expect more. There's no more coddling from me or acting like I don't deserve such respect as a base minimum.
Any man who doesn't put in this quintessential courtship effort wasn't going to get serious with me, and wasn't going to do for me in any relationship I would have theoretically had with em.
What women hurt over in a failed relationship are feelings and ideations.
What men hurt over in a failed relationship are their sunk assets and bruised egos.
I don't make myself vulnerable by emotionally investing off the bat anymore. I take from men what they offer so that if they bail, then they're the ones who've lost. Meanwhile I'm treated to fun nights out, dinners, and shopping.
I'm consistent with this standard and know that there's other men out there that will attempt to replace the former if they're not up to snuff. I don't even entertain that I'm doing something wrong or could have done things differently.
In the past, being the loving doormat, doer, "cool girl," mommy, and free fleshlight got me nowhere and left me with nothing. Even though I was conforming to everything men allegedly wanted.
Anyway anon, don't cut yourself off from relationships if love and companionship are what you want. Just realize their transactional nature and the steps you can take to emotionally protect yourself.
I don't have persistent fantasies about raping children, so no can't relate. I wonder how comfortable you would be if your brother was telling his therapist about his desire to rape your child and they did nothing to stop him.
are you >>469026
? if you are, and you've worked with therapists surely you'd be aware confidentiality agreements between mental health practitioners and their clients cease if the client is a danger to themselves or another person. this man was a danger and the appropriate action was taken.
>at college today
>got a nice latte to enjoy for breakfast, go to sit down in the same building on campus like I have been doing for nearly a year and a half without problems
>always come here because it's quiet and no one bothers you, campus is too busy and we have issues with solicitors harassing you on campus, library is so crowded there's no where to sit
>have gone to campus safety many times for being accosted by people selling "spa treatments" and just want some goddamn peace and quiet to study before class without someone asking me for my number
>while I'm reading and drinking my coffee, some fat bitch comes out of nowhere and tells me I can't sit in the hallway because fire marshalls, blah blah blah
>I tell her that I understand, okay, stand up, no big deal
>I decide to pick up my things on the floor as I need to get to class anyway
>hard to do it without kneeling down again as I books, cups, and other shit
>here she comes again like some demon
>starts asking me why I'm on campus and what I'm doing in the building, gets up in my face, is being oddly aggressive for no reason
>proceeds to tell me that students are not allowed in the entire building, which includes our cafeteria, student services, and a student study lounge
>there are no signs saying students cannot be in the building, and I tell her so and ask her wtf is her problem, did someone complain?
>claims if I start sitting there then everyone will start sitting there too and shitting up the halls, doesn't answer my direct questions about why she's being hostile
>tell her that I am only there to study and relax, and no one has told me to leave ever, not even campus safety who has seen me multiple times in this very building and has never told me to leave, just asked if I was okay
>ask her who she is as she just looks like some random person with an attitude
>lies and tells me she's the head of the entire department and she can do whatever she wants
>later find out she's an assistant
>demands that I give her my name and ID so she can call the police on me for "trespassing", tells me that I don't belong on campus and that I should either get out of the college or go somewhere else
>I don't give her my ID because I don't know who she is, she isn't the police, she could be anyone, starting to get suspicious there's more to this than just me sitting on the floor
>tell her that she's being rude, she gets mad and starts pointing in my face and accusing me of being "disrespectful"
>I didn't raise my voice or cuss at her, just keep asking her why she's targeting me, apologize, tell her I'm not just loitering for no reason as she accuses me of "sitting on my ass"
>can tell she doesn't believe I'm a student
>eventually walk away from her as she's not making any sense and she's telling me that I'm trespassing and that I don't belong on campus and need to leave
>makes some catty comment as I'm walking away about how she hopes to "never see me on campus again"
>department tells me that there is no rule saying I can't be in the building, that I can sit there as long as I like, that she is not the department head and had no right to speak to me that way
>just feel so defeated because I know there was some prejudice going on there, feel like an ugly monster because I was just existing
>>469048>demands that I give her my name and ID so she can call the police on me for "trespassing", tells me that I don't belong on campus and that I should either get out of the college or go somewhere else
Lmao, she thought you were some transient vagabond with your shabby college attire and floor latte. Hilarious.
Is solicitation really such an issue? Wow!
NTA but I unironically hope all pedophiles just drop dead one day. Every single one. I couldn’t less of a shit if it’s a mental condition, it’s something that causes endless suffering if they have their way - why should I extend any sympathy towards someone who wants to rape, and exceedingly often murder, the most vulnerable demographic
They’re genuinely evil and I couldn’t care less if it’s because they’re born that way.
Just to clarify, you're talking about people that are sexually attracted to children but don't act on it or specifically the ones who intend to or have abused children?
Conversations about pedophiles are always so awkward to me because I think there's a word of difference between having a fantasy and abusing a living being but I rarely see a distinction being made.
>>469060>Double post, but one day I confronted him about his sudden interest in political videos. He said the reason was because his brother (whom he was living with at the time) wouldn't shut up about Trump. His brother is very anti-Trump, so instead of, I don't know, ignoring him, he looks up some of the claims his brother made and it made him very pro-Trump. And it's been downhill from there.
I have had a similar experience as your bf.Interacting with sex positive hypocritical libfems in collage who made everything about Trump and tried to shoehorn politics into everything was infuriating and i went in to a extreme opposite direction just to counter them,thankfully I didn't fall too deep down the right wing Pit and got out of it
but I'm worried that Gen Z and younger generations are going to internalize being "right wing"
Say that a 15 year old who knows damn well that you can't change sex is dogpiled online for being a Fascist Nazi bigot. She's upset, she's unnerved, angry, and confused. Along comes a real right winger, of any degree, who is sympathetic to her and does nothing more than share common sense. This person looks not only super nice, but also super intelligent and wise. Even if this person is actually an idiot. Now the right wing looks sane, if not good. Add to that that while Contra Points has very polished left wing videos,but they're too long, just as nagging as other SJW channels, and aren't as interesting as his older work. Meanwhile, right wing youtubers are entertaining, even if you are hate watching them. And they outnumber Contra Points and Kat Blaque. Contra Points puts way more effort into his videos, but when he gets invited to debates he refuses to go because he's scared of losing and legitimizing the other persons beliefs which makes him come across as a coward.
I don't understand. You imply here >>469031
that silence will lead the pedophile to offend, but then in this post, you're going on about how there's "zero intent stated".
If he has no intent, why doesn't he just keep it to himself and leave the child alone? If he can't keep it to himself and leave the child alone, why would the child's mother (or any other adult) be wrong in heeding his admission and keeping the child away from him?
How would disclosing things and letting him be around the child help him not molest the child, exactly? All I can see is the pedophile and his enablers putting the onus on the child to "be careful, because of your uncle's ~*condition*~!" and ultimately, ample victim
-blaming and offender-coddling if anything does happen. Why shouldn't parents and professionals just nip that in the bud and say "Nobody with those urges needs to be around my kid or anyone else's. Let's just prevent this now. He will go to a doctor, and we will protect our children"?
If there's truly no intent, then there is no threat, and therefore no point in disclosing it. If the urges are so strong that they must be spoken of and discussed, then there is
intent, and part of solving the issue would be keeping children away from the person with those urges, and for that person to seek help in the meantime.
Acceptance and positivity for pedophilia does not discourage pedophiles from their urges, neither does it stop children from being abused. It just opens the door for pedophiles to engage in their urges with fewer social repercussions. Abuse can be waved away as a "simple mistake, he couldn't help himself uwu", and that's not helpful for anyone (except manipulative sex offenders looking for an out).
Pedophiles should seek therapy and/or castration. They should not be pining for "understanding" and "acceptance" from the mainstream, because the actions their compulsions drive them to engage in ultimately should never be accepted.
CPS should have ensured that the man continue getting therapy instead of just leaving him to his own devices, but removing him from the niece's life was not the wrong decision by any stretch.
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I used to side with my mum no matter what, I used to justify all of her problematical behaviours even towards me… I'm done with her now, we haven't spoken for two weeks and she's saying that I'm selfish and I'm apathetic towards her struggles which never changed as long I remember, she also brought it on herself most of the time, she likes to stir gossip but act like she wants the best for the person in question, she is always the poor one.
She used to be a victim
and there is no disagreeing on that, she was a victim
for a long time but now she is starting to be a villain herself, she is still under that mask that she is a helpless victim
which jars me the most.
She is almost 50 and guess what she bloody did, fucking take a fucking guess? she went and got pregnant!!! I want to fucking die, I feel like I'm living in a nightmare, she already has five children me being the eldest and everyone has told her to stop having children but she doesn't listen, she wants to have a kid despite her already having much more than the average woman anywhere in the world, we are struggling financially and we don't even have enough room in the house when we're just six -my father doesn't live with us- which is I guess another reason why she got pregnant; that is to fix her marriage, she is always fixing it with children and it is beyond selfish, she is bringing a child to this world when she is too old to even take any care of when this kid starts going to school and the environment isn't even stable, there is no money, no room, no time for a child and this is beyond comprehension, and it did make my father get back to her a little so it is working, good for her I guess….
Can't wait until I have enough money to move out already.
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after a while of contemplating if i should do volunteer work,i decided to send a mail to a non-profit organization in my country to volunteer.i was supposed to go for an interview next week but i have to do an errant i cant skip so i set it for the end of the month
despite feeling quite good the first time i called,now i have started doubting my choice because idk how it will go and what volunteering could be like in the future.my biggest issue is that i decided to do this on a whim and i havent told anyone yet,at least not until the interview.it gets my work involved since it's the family bussiness im working at and i dont think i would have a positive reaction from some people in my family.i already feel bad for postponing the interview in the end of the month and being unable to go on specific dates and times "due to work-related matters" and i dont even know if i will be able to do it at the days im free.im really concerned of anyone finding out and while i know this adds unecessary stress,im thinking about the criticism im going to face in case it gets found out.critisism has prevented me from making choices I wanted in the past and giving up stuff not to upset people/get upset in the process and i dont want that to be a factor for what i plan to do now.in case it doesnt go well,id rather it being my own fuck up rather than a fuck up caused by another person's behaviour
i decided to do this since im in a better mental state atm and want to contribute to something somehow and i think this could be good for me no matter what happens.i hate the fact that i wanna do something worthwhile yet i have to face roadblocks during the process and act in secrecy because im afraid of judgement or even be prevented from doing it.im already kinda regretting going through with this even tho it's a good cause
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Im so tired and depressed, october has been a shitty month so far so im not looking forward to anything…a long term friend went out of nowhere and try to decide to break up our friendship because i kept talking abt one topic only ( we sort it out eventually but still ) she could have said something or discuss it with me but she choose to drop me like a hot potato. I just want to cry, all these times through thick and thin, the memories we share together even the gifts i sent her from the bottom of my heart, care for her even though shes halfway around the world and in the heat of the moment she choose to end it without hesitating or remembering those things…
good luck anon. you sound cool>>469116
I feel this. Rest In Peace, buddy <3
its not normal and neither is a teen girl wanting to get choked until she blacks out or have a guy spit on her while fucking her, yet these magazines and society in general have really taken extreme porn to the masses to the point where people cant have normal functioning LOVING sexual relationships anymore
it just reads like youre their sons new fling who lives with them but doesnt really attempt to connect with the family. sorry.
i get it. before my ex and i got married we spent some time living at his childhood home because of needing to save money and living with a whole bunch of adults (especially parents) is not easy but to expect the homeowners to change over someone who isnt even technically their family is still expecting too much.
do you have anywhere else to live until you two figure out a living situation? sounds more like they are ready for their adult son and his live in girlfriend to get out.
Why doesn't your man stand up to his parents when they complain about you at least sometimes?
The truth is your man is beta and he both cannot afford to move out and cannot even stick up for you to his own family when their criticisms get unfair.
Clearly there's a reason why he's not cutting off from their teat.
So are people supposed to deal with irritating shit and accept it wholly because they made a decision? How was that person supposed to know what was going to happen? I hate comments like yours, shut up nigga.>>469119
What country are they from? This vaguely reminds me of my husband's family who I have to go back to living with since they're obsessive and complain about everything too except they take the time to talk to me and do love me so I'm worried about the situation you have with your boyfriend's family. Are you serious together and will get married? Maybe that will change their tune
The article wasn't pressuring women into anal and I clearly said I was against it… I just pointed out teenagers are naturally curious about sex. The article just answered questions about anal sex, not pressured girls into it
Also I don't see how one article about women giving their input on anal is somehow magazines writing tons of articles daily on anal and trying to get teen girls to do it constantly
my study group classmates from uni have been acting weirdly standoffish with me lately and idk why?? i've always tried my best to be nice to them, ask them about what's going on with their lives, lend them my notes, explain subjects they needed help with and update them on what they missed when they skip class. i recently was sick and had to take a couple of days off from class and when i got back i was still kinda sick, they didn't even ask me how i felt or if i was okay, all they cared about was taking pictures of my notes for an upcoming exam.
they've stopped saying "thank you" when i help them with mundane tasks, i always ask them how they did in our quizzes but they just reply with one-liners, during breaks they just go off by themselves and ignore me, and when we do get to hang out one of them lowkey seems to make fun of me because of the way i talk, or if i participate in a class, or if i don't dislike a certain teacher.
i guess i shouldn't be surprised. they'll talk shit about ANYONE, even people they've never interacted with. they're always trash talking our classmates in a group text over the most innocuous reasons, and the one that i feel makes fun of me always jumps at the chance to talk shit about a particular classmate she's clashed with in the past. i've got no doubt in my mind there's a separate group text without me in it where they talk shit about me, too. it kinda baffles me bc…we're in university, all mid-20's women, i thought this kind of petty shit died out in high school.
Some people just remain petty, going to college doesn't automatically make them act like semi-decent adults unfortunately.
I hope you'll be able to find a new group to study with. People like that will only drag you down.
I was a relatively popular girl, I did cheer, drill, etc. But I decided to befriend a weird anime girl in high school because I was sick of the surface level conversations with my old friends. Plus they started hanging out with the hicks, and I couldn’t stand it. Anyway, we ended up pairing really well (mostly)
We were always together. Long boarding, drinking coffee, throwing parties, etc.
And I was in a very abusive relationship with a boy during the duration of our friendship.
Anyway, we eventually stopped talking for various reasons. She would skin walk me, and befriended my ex. I stalked her twitter a little while back, and was interacting with him. Even though she knows about what he’d done to me.
Hitting me, manipulating me, screaming at me, breaking into my house, etc.
And even though we haven’t talked in years, I am still upset about it.
I wish I understood.
And I read an article the other day suggesting that inflation was advancing faster than the government says it has.
The next recession is going to make 2008 look happy.
My boyfriend is acting so upset about having to face the consequences of a DUI he got last year.
Ever since this shit happened, his mom has been coddling him. He is the one who got drunk and decided he could drive home, and he called me from the scene of the accident to come pick him up multiple times. He was still really drunk so he doesn't even remember doing that. His mom and brother drove two hours to come and be there in the hospital with him, his mom has been paying for a lot of shit affiliated with this whole mess too. It pisses me off cos he isn't learning his lesson at all.
He was already exhibiting lots of alcoholic signs before this. Pissing on the bathroom floor before passing out, passing out on the porch, coming home with bloody lips, being irrational and angry after drinking. Almost every day something would happen.
He's upset because the people he hit want to file a civil suit against him. I told him to try to put himself in their shoes and imagine how they must feel… but he doesn't care. He keeps saying he feels bad but insists that he shouldn't have to face any consequences for his fucked up actions. I told him what he did was wrong, and he got so upset that I won't have more sympathy for him lol.
Yeah, you went out drinking and driving and crashed your car into someone else's and want sympathy for it? Not only that, but he keeps claiming the people that he hit actually hit him. Yeah, cos it was totally the sober party that hit the drunk guy's car. He doesn't even realize how ridiculous it sounds, especially since he doesn't even remember trying to get me to come there and pick him up before the cops showed up. If he can't even remember that, then how can anyone trust his version of events?
I don't have anybody to talk to about this. I'm just severely annoyed. I'm sick of being portrayed as some bitch because I won't bend over backwards to protect his ego after his mistake. at least have some goddamn remorse for your actions.
You would actually rather he watched porn and fell down the slippery slope of increasingly violent content?
It seems really wholesome to me, he used his imagination and didn't keep them around daily in any weird kind of fetish. It's not much different than masturbating to a mental image.
i wish my boyfriend did stuff like that instead of watching porn :/
he cant even cum during sex and has no idea what a real female body actually looks like
you're so lucky
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My dad is AA and my mom is white,growing up both my dad's side and my mom's side of the family got along and I don't think their was anything odd about us
So I have never had any sort of racial preference and have dated white guys,black guys and Hispanic guys but for the past two years I have been in a long term relationship with my SO who happens to be a white guy and my dad has always disproved of him and his criticisms of him always had nothing to do with race what so ever but 2 weeks ago he revealed to me the reason he's against our relationship was because he's white and he doesn't want his grandkids to come out white i pointed out his wife/me mother was white he responded it was different something something ‘the man.’ And I said oh yeah you’re really sticking it to the mean. That’s a great basis for a relationship.My mom started crying and I haven’t spoken to either of them for 2 weeks now.
If I got her story right his attitude is the following:>Le epin troll all the racist white guys by dating "their" white women. LOLOLOLOL!>Become irrationally angry when a white guy retaliates by dating a mixed chick back. LMFAO!
So just more scrotes being scrotes in thinking of women as property. I'm really giving her my sympathies on this as there's nothing more disappointing than finding out a dad is like this as well.
fucking hell anon, your dad is an absolute hypocrite. sounds like typical scrot behaviour though tbqh like the other anon said
my sympathies to you and your mom.
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I wish I had the mental strength to make and actually keep friends.
Ever since my ex broke up with me I have no reason to travel or generally go anywhere because I feel retarded for traveling somewhere else just to, idk, get a coffee or something. It's also a huge waste of money.
I want something to change but am too depressed and broke to actually do something.
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My 32 year old sister is a recovering meth addict and pill abuser, and she's been smoking cigarettes and eating extremely unhealthy for over half of her life, so my family knew health problems for her were on the horizon but I guess expecting it and knowing it's a reality is a different thing. She went in to the hospital recently and they were going to take her gallbladder out but then they realized it was cirrhosis and alcohol-induced hepatitis. They said if she keeps going the way she's going without changing her lifestyle and managing it, she'll have a couple of years to live. She seems to grasp the severity but I'm still worried about her giving up because she's going to pretty much have to get rid of all her old coping mechanisms like binge-eating shitty food and smoking and drinking all at once and find other alternatives, while also being poor and living in a poor ass town in a poor ass state and having no insurance and having a 12 year old daughter to think about (she's not a single mother though, thank god). We can't even be there to support her because we live 700 miles away and we're also struggling financially so. It is what it is I guess. It could be a lot worse, she could have lung cancer or also be diabetic or have pancreatic cancer or something. And my grandmother has had cirrhosis and hep C for decades and that piece of shit is still kicking, so I'm hoping my sister can pull through as well.
She needs an in-patient rehab program. The drinking, pill popping, and smoking need to stop immediately.
Most people with the shittiest diets don't catch a liver disease by 32.
No families are equipped to deal with issues like that. She needs a professional.
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>>469443>if it was the fault of the OCD
It's never OCD/Depression?BP fault's, those are all excuses for him not to work on his own toxic
behaviour and throw all his emotional garbage and abuse onto you.
I have a dad that does that, he always blamed his syndromes and mental health, for his cruel and hurtful outbursts.
You deserve better anon, he will never change.
I'm sorry for what you're going through, for what it's worth.
I hope you can find happiness.
Same tbh. I can relate hard.
BTW have you been bullied?
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I could've written this word for word, at least we're in the same boat. Sorry anon, hope things will get better for you soon.
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I'm getting a sore throat. I'm just about to have some time off work but now I'm worried I'll be miserable with a cold instead of enjoying my time off
Because they're more likely to show how they're off being happy than show on social media that they're sad or going through hard times.
No offense but this is really, really why you guys shouldn't compare so much based on social media. It's not the full picture.
Nta but bullies to a certain stent can actually be apter to survive in the adult world considering that 1. they don't have the CPTSD from being bullied 2. are probably more dominant and have sociopathic tendencies that are usually good for business 3. have less empathy and thus less anxiety and more free time to think only about their needs and goals.
Life is not fair and a lot of successful people are assholes, not all of them, but still, a big part.
>>469502>they don't have trauma, they're sociopathic, and have less empathy ergo less anxiety to focus on goals
Ehhh maybe in some cases. Hurt people tend to hurt people and they've got their own traumas.
All my bullies were kids who grew up pretty rough. With the exception of maybe like one, they're not that much better off as adults.
I might be fortunate in that my bullies are chronic oversharers. In between their feelgood posts where they try their best to make their lives sound idealistic, there's plenty of other posts they make for attention where things clearly aren't well underneath it all.
I would definitely call my bullies selfish, but I actually think their self-centered and narcissistic ways tend to get them into a lot of trouble and cause them much stress bc they don't get what they want. And now they're all at ages and low statuses in life where they can no longer bully to get what they want.
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a couple hours into watercoloring a piece I really loved and I completely messed it up gDI
It's a lot different when they're born into the system, and how their families will ignore them and that they've lost entrance into their version of the afterlife that they've believed in since they were small.
It's a big deal anon. That's why there's so many sources online for ex mormons going through the process because it's extremely depressing and socially isolating. I can see why women would go along with it just to not endure the psychological torture of it.
To answer the question as to whether they believe in any of it, a study showed only about 60% actively practiced it. I think the majority of it is socially rooted. They probably really don't believe it, but to them it's a wager.
Thanks for your sympathy anons, it's weird but being able to relate to strangers on the internet does make me feel a little better somehow.
I was bullied mildly in school but that actually wasn't what I was referring to–in my adult life there are people who have intentionally hurt me even though I never hurt them. I don't know if it'd be classified as bullying and I think they did it out of jealousy but that honestly doesn't make it hurt any less.>>469494
I agree with you, really I do, but I can't get it out of my head that these people really are better off than me kind of like what >>469502
was saying, these people seem a good deal more emotionally stable than me tbh. I'm very sensitive and anxious and don't let go of things very easily whereas I'm pretty sure the person who caused me mass amounts of emotional trauma doesn't think about me at all as they go throughout the day, meanwhile I'm stuck having dreams about them every other night.
It's projection. Many African American men hate being black, so they project it on black women. And they know no one is going to check them except other black women. Not even the so called "nice black men."
Another thing too is that we had a moment to check the anti woman hate in general in the 90s as hip hop became mainstream, but self loathing black women cried racism whenever the white media critiqued hip hop/rap. Same thing happened with black women protecting black men for the cat calling video from a couple of years ago.
We are about 30 years deep in hip hop/rap culture that deeply hates women. Black women need to stop allowing black American men use racism as a shield for their general hate towards women. Because that general hate for women intensifies to a general hate towards black women.
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>every time race bullshit starts up
Why is Photoshop so fucking awful, god. I love CC but the software has shit performance so it doesn't matter in the end that it has great features if it doesn't work right for even the basic ones.
I have 16 gb of ram and the when i use the brush the lag and the jiter lines are too awful, if i do several quick consecutive strokes it simplyshits itself, i tried everything with the drivers and cache size and no change, digital painting and drawing sucks so hard on PS but when i open Clip Studio Paint is all rainbows, no lag, perfect stabilization, crisp lines, the best real media mimic brushes i've tried, no issue after hours of drawing. I only wished Clip had all the features PS has so i could use all my personalized actions, edit options and adjustment layers that i rely on so much, but at least is a godsend for the drawing and design stage.
20 is still so young anon! thankfully he didn't rob you of any more of your life,I got out of my shitty relationship at 30 and felt ashamed for staying so long
Enjoy your new freedom
How is she not disciplined or fired?
I hope she's a teenager because otherwise it's pretty pathetic for an adult to be unable to follow simple directions and thinks giving wrong medications has no consequences.
Recently got access back to an email account I got locked out of 6 years ago. While going through the inbox I found an equally old email from an anonymous message service. The message was pretty much just roasting me for breaking up with my ex-fiance and telling me that I was a piece of shit. I can think of a few people it could be but I'm pretty sure it was from my old best friend because her and my ex were pretty tight. I'm more offended by the fact she was too much of a coward to just tell me to my face than the contents of the message, but her unbearable passive-aggressiveness and jealousy were why I stopped talking to her in the first place. Also I'm really fucking glad I didn't marry my ex because I was way too young, we literally had a 10 year age gap.>>469721
Please tell me she was fired.
Jfc anon, go to the fucking doctor.
I only expel a bit of blood when I have too much milk or cheese since I'm lactose intolerant, but it's just spots not a shit thon. That's not normal.
I had an anal fissure once and it made the toilet very red with blood, I think I'm finally over it. For a couple of years if I had a hard stool it would reopen the fissure and I'd have the bloody toilet for days until it healed again.
If you feel discomfort or pain, or if the bleeding doesn't resolve in a few days you should see a doc.
Why would you assume that you're the loser in this situation when she was the one who flaked on you?
She was the one who made plans with you, put effort in and then canceled, that makes her
Try not to let it get you down.
You're not a loser anon, people like her are just social cowards and 'ghosting' has become normalized. At least back in the day, people would have to contact you and come up with some kind of excuse as to why they suddenly couldn't hang out.
These days ghosting is so normal that people just expect you to presume they were busy/didn't want to do it, and if you confront them then you're the asshole for not understanding introversion or w/e.
Don't feel bad. It's rude and you did nothing wrong.
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This is totally going to sound like an r/thathappened story, but I’m kind of irked because I live in a big suburban neighborhood with houses close together and there are a ton of families with kids and I hear some child outside screaming like crazy. I look out the window and a little girl had a full trashcan fall over on her legs and she was screaming and crying with no parents in sight, so I run outside and lift this probably 100lbs trash can off this girl’s legs freeing her and then the mom finally comes out and just says “oh, thanks” and they all walk away….??? I mean… I didn’t need groveling or anything but I guess I expected them to be a little more grateful after I literally ran out from my house and freed their trapped child, but whatever lol.
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My mom wants to move to europe, which im totally happy for her, but she insists on me going along due to safety issues in our home town/state, which has gotten considerably more violent the past two years, heck there's even a supposed serial killer out and about (3 deaths of college aged girls, all same modus operandi, this year).
But i don't want to leave my life behind you know, its not another city, its another fucking continent across the sea, i will probably never see these people again since i don't have much of a reason to visit the country if i move out (no family, just me and mum). Im gonna miss them, i don't know how to make new friends in a whole new culture even though there's no language barrier, i've known my social circle since middle school.
She's really excited about it and has started requesting the nescessary documents to apply for immigration, it would take roughly the time for me to finish my university to really have everything put together, money, travel and moving expenses, renting a house over there, but she doesn't want to leave me behind here.
Im conflicted, i love europe, i've always wanted to visit so many countries and that could be easily achievable living there, the city she wants to move to is gorgeous and historical, on top of the safety and better salaries.
But that means abandoning my life as i've known it for over twenty years, i've never even left my birth neighborhood! Its just terrifying, i don't know what i would do if i didn't find my place in europe, which is a very likely option, plus my friends, my crush, the goals i had for my life here, i would have to chunk that in the trash.
I don't fucking know what to do.
I don't want to be mean but we're really full here in Europe. Could you both just not come? Not just you, all these immigrants that are completely incompatible with the local culture and don't blend in even after so many years.
Why can't all these immigrants stay in their country and fix it instead of coming here?
Also, it's not meant to be personal nor racist as I wouldn't like white americans or americans of any color to over flood europe either. It's really a matter of culture.
My grandparents are from said country and my mom has right to nationality, she has cultural connections and we both speak the language. I think it would be easy to adapt culturally.
Plus its the one immigrant friendly country, (https://www.straitstimes.com/world/europe/portugal-the-european-country-that-wants-more-migrants
), the paperwork is ridiculously easy because they want more people.
Im gonna take hunch and say you guys deal mostly with muslisms.
Same. Mind you, I live in a small town but they've found their way here too. When you go to a big city, it turns into a real nightmare.
In a small town where communities are tightly knit, these immigrants break that feeling of community and togetherness. They litter and loiter and walking home suddenly isn't safe anymore. Well, not as it used to be. You can't talk about it because it implies that you're racist (most if not all immigrants are from asia or africa).
I'm just sick all these third worlders considering europe as some land of milk and honey and that coming here is the answer while europe has its own set of problems and bringing so many new people in is definitely not the answer.>>469824> Portugal
It's odd that they're so immigrant friendly when their unemployment rates are so high and the job market in general is in a pretty bad shape just like their economy. Why do they want more people when they can't even handle the current population?
Europe is really full and speaking the language alone doesn't suffice and it doesn't make someone a native. However, I'm sure my words won't stop you from doing what you've set your mind to so do whatever. Bon voyage.
Completely Average Unemployment Rate (6.3%), and that's all information from 3-5 years ago, the economy is slowly rebuilding and the job market isn't half as bad as it used to be, if still half fragile. Country has been on a steady growth since then.>>469833
I mean i don't need a husband, my family is portuguese, cousins, grandparents.
Im the only amerifag.
Plus im not even sure about moving, even less if everyone is going to be so ridiculously xenophobic.
as a person from that area, it is just cultural, you are brought up to be more closed off from strangers and keep everything in, like we don't do that whole fake "hi, how are you? fine, how are you?" ritual, cashiers generally won't force their chit chat on you etc etc. though i thought poles were supposed to be loud and talkative but mby that's reserved for amongst themselves.
will admit that people from here tend to congregate in their small diasporas when abroad but mostly it is the case with manual labour immigrants who do it as they don't know any other language besides their own (plus the general "my culture is the best culture" bs and awkwardness and feeling othered). then again i find all foreigners do this in equal amounts, like all the Americans at uni only hang out with other Americans, all the Chinese exchange students only hang out with other Chinese exchange students and so on. >>469838
depends on how you blend in. you can either be the kool girl that used to live abroad in a 1st world country or that annoying screeching american who refuses to eat anything besides reeses cups and mcdonalds.
Yeah, like countries never do manipulations to make their statistics look better. and 6% is still a lot. Combine that with their low wages and it's not looking nice.
> Plus im not even sure about moving, even less if everyone is going to be so ridiculously xenophobic.> so ridiculously xenophobic.
Oh, please do never come. You sound entitled enough and we have plenty of those already.
Yeah it took a while for me to not take it so personally.
One lithuanian room mate got it into his head that I'm gay (I'm really not) so he made home-life hell for me but didn't tell me why, his gf watched him get aggressive with me and took his side while he cornered and threatened me one night. He threatened to beat me for 'looking at his gf'
For a while it gave me a fear of people from those parts but I shouldn't let it do that
Would you even have the right to live there? I know your mom does, but you're an adult so that might not extend to you. How is your portuguese? What would you do for work?
I don't know if you should or shouldn't move but I don't have a problem with people who have your family situation moving over here. In my country you're entitled to citizenship if you have a grandparent from here. It's not like you could never go back to (I'm assuming) north america. You could try it for a year or two and keep connected with your friends back home so those relationships are still intact if you decide not to stay. I think if I had recent ancestors from another country I'd want to live there for a while.
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I've been getting slime video recommendations on YT, and some of the stuff seems genuinely relaxing and fun. I just don't feel like paying up $10 for designer slime.
When I was out shopping today there was some Nickelodeon slime on sale for like $3, and I thought why not?
I done played myself.
The shit is sticky in a bad way and I cannot play with it. You'd think a brand like Nickelodeon would know how to make some damn slime by now.
anon, make your own slime.
its cheap and entertaining.
This was literally me at my last apartment but with two adults. The couple above me would have screaming fights at 3am multiple times a week and the boyfriend would straight up beat her. I could hear her screaming and crying and saying "Get off of me!" and the sounds of someone slamming into the wall/floor. I kept calling the cops every time and when they would knock on their door, and they would be silent and pretend to be asleep. The cops wouldn't enter my apartment either to listen discretely, just try to hear outside from 3 stories down which, obviously, didn't work.
It's so fucked.
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I like these cloud slime types.
Can you imagine this family in a Wal Mart arguing over a visual test? Sorry anon, but your family is hilariously insecure.
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October has been rough lately, things didnt go well for me at all…now i just want a hug and some strenght to get through the day
I'm such an average bitch lmao.
I'm so fucking average! I would rather be hideous and extremely intelligent or extremely stupid and ridiculously attractive rather than be this fucking average and forgettable.
For every bit of positive attention that she receives from being attractive she does also have an increased likelihood of having issues with unwanted attention, stalkers/obsessives and being the kind of arm candy/possession girlfriend that gets murdered for simply dumping a guy
I've never been girly or jealous of pretty girls but learning that made me realize the serious downsides to it, can attract psychos
>>469982> she has biggish perky tits and cute nipples> cute nipples
Thanks anon! I'm going to keep that in mind.
tbh people in Southern Europe are fed with Brits and on a lesser extent Americans. Brits come here to trash everything, get pissed drunk and overload the ER. When they come to stay here they form these communities and demand everyone to talk their language. I used to work for the yellow pages phone line and every god damn time some of those people requested a plumber or anything they would ask me "but does he speak English?" Ma'am you've been living in Benidorm for 15 fucking years, why don't you speak Spanish?
We perceive Americans the same way but because there's less of them we don't hate them so much.
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So there's this youtuber I watch who I think is cute. Recently I decided to lurk their social media. To my was suprise they live in my state and suprisingly are single as well. The other day I came across a small(under 50 members) discord which they are a member of.
I'm really tempted to join the discord in an attempt to interact with them.
Am I creeper if were to prusue someone like that?
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Was trying to help a Mexican customer at work today and after about a minute of me clearly not understanding this woman and answering in English she gave up I guess? and started speaking perfectly fluent English to me. ???? why do people do this? I'm not usually one to say "you're in america speak english" but if you can literally speak English fluently and I am a stranger please speak English?
>mfw she said wow your mom didn't teach you any Spanish at all??
>mfw I'm Pacific Islander but Americans think there's only one kind of brown person
I just saw that Bigmouth Pansexuality clip and I literally want to throw up at the thought of this being featured in a mainstream show. I don't even get if we're supposed to laugh at the pretentious special snowflake character or take her seriously. Why the fuck do writers these days think that being overly provocative and woke type preachy equals great comedy and brilliant writing?
Clip for those who don't knwo what I'm talking about: https://twitter.com/NetflixIsAJoke/status/1180543722695663616
kek, so embarrassing. they're not parodying woke culture with that from what i can tell.
reminds me of this absolutely insane clip from Girls. ray is 100% in the right here, but i come to find out that lena dunham meant to mock ray. it actually is a fabulous unintentional own of woke millenials and gen-Zers but it's unintentionally hysterical that lena dunham and her sister and everyone around her thought ray was the laughably wrong and embarrassing one. vid related, it's great.
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fucking disgusting, now i'm mad.
Could you elaborate? Because I didn't hate her at all. I thought she was pretty nice to the very end.
p.s. don't forget to spoiler
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FUCKING HELL I JUST WANT MY OWN PLACE
I HATE the fact that getting your own place in my town is such a pain in the ass. You either have the super expensive ones or the cheap ones in sketchy neighborhoods. It frustrates for more than a year now and I'm just fucking sick of it. I have a job but NOTHING works out. I just want some peace of mind and finally be able to move on holly shit c'mon. I was so close to move but nothing worked out at the end. And hearing my mum telling me constantly that I need to find my own place isn't helping when I know and want to move out since forever. I hate this so much jesus christ and yes I do pay my shit as long I live with my mum, so it ain't for free.
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Same anon here, just finished watching it.
Not bad, actually. I found the ending kind of funny. It reminded me of pic related.Also, what the fuck else was she supposed to do at the end, really? Refuse? Then they'd just kill them all and start afresh. I only really feel sorry for Connie and Simon.
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made a stupid passive aggressive tweet about being a clown cus i support women but i let men walk all over me and all these guys are liking it and retweeting,
Just buy one anyway and open it in front of her with the straightest face possible.
What's she gonna do rant at you about how you're a dirty whore or something.
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I have been a heavy smoker for about 10 years, and more recently have been drinking 4-8 beers every weeknight (more on weekends) for the past ~4 years. I've never been attractive but my skin is really going to shit and I'm gaining weight now. Smoking is more something that happened because everybody in my family smokes, but I drink to cope with how I feel about myself and it is inevitably making me look worse so I feel like a huge retard. I also feel like I don't remember/am embarrassed by a lot of my social interactions because I'm mostly either drunk or hungover.
I feel like I'm so easily hooked to things. I don't even necessarily want a cigarette or a drink sometimes, but I find myself chainsmoking any time I'm outdoors, because I won't be allowed to smoke indoors, and chugging down beers before I go to sleep when I am already drunk because I keep opening them from habit. If I have to be so compulsive, I wish I could be compulsively drinking water or some shit like that. I'm never going to be fit but I could at least not be actively destroying my body.
I'm starting to stick up for myself more and hold my ground, but the pushback is so hard to deal with alone.
>go no contact with my mom after she verbally abuses me and rejects my emotional needs for the umpteenth time
>she goes to her entire family to whine and bitch about how awful I am bc I dared lay down a boundary and told her no more
>I made a post talking to friends for support >mom and her side of the family shat their pants when they found out
>got horrible messages from cousins who don't even like or talk to me acting as if they knew anything about the situation cause their auntie was so sweet to them
>like they wanted me to feel isolated and alone while they all ganged up on me so I'd go crawling back to her
>continue my no contact rule despite my mom baiting extremely provocative things
>sends me texts, letters, and a bday gift trying to manipulate me into speaking with her bc she cannot accept that for once the situation is on my terms
>the letters were just a bunch of non-apologies, gaslighting, and dog whistling to try to get a response outta me
>continue holding my boundary
>stepdad who's now divorced from my mom sent her a text asking why her side of the family didn't wish me a happy bday recently while his did
>she couldn't even answer his question without blaming me
>stepdad said she called me a selfish, spoiled, needy adult (she hates it when she feels people defend me)
>then turned the question into a pity party about her
>today she sends me another text saying how she loves me, wants dinner sometime, and loves me
I'm not an individual, I'm just an object to her. Since she's over the situation, she's pissed at me because I'm not over it and refuse to take her back when she says so. Like when I was a little girl and she'd force me to make up and hug her after her terrible fights with me.
>friend hooks me up with a guy she knows
>he seems alright at first
>over time it becomes apparent he's a bit possessive and thinks alls his exes 'cheated' on him w/o any solid examples
>ignore it cause I was feeling so alone and wanted to enjoy the company
>made the mistake of showing him vacation pics that had some photos of my ex
>days later he accuses me of having feelings for my ex and that I still chat with him when I do not
>think it's a genuine misunderstanding but he was being such a prick about it
>the allegation itself blindsided me bc I had no idea what he was talking about
>eventually he agrees that I don't talk to my ex and came to an understanding, or so I thought
>another month passes
>for no provoked reason he texts me again one night aggressively asking how my 'relationship' with my ex is going and that he already knows
>told him to please not do that to me again, I was going through a lot and I was talking to nobody
>tells me how much he hates me and says goodbye
>I try texting and calling him, he doesn't respond
>as much as it hurt me, I told him fine and I hope he's fucking happy with his decision
>the next day he says sorry
>starts calling me obsessively
>one day he calls me 15 times
>'please talk to me'
>the next day
>'u ain't talking to me?'
>'i love you'
>next day calls me more
>'ok I tried'
FUCKER, YOU DUMPED ME! You wanted me to squirm and chase after you, except your little bastard plan backfired. Just like how my bitch for a mom thought she could keep abusing me thinking I was duty-bound to take her fucking abuse.
It's a brand new day.
I'm angry just having typed all this out.
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i hate my broke ass ex. i cant get away from him i hate him and i hope his fucking car explodes one day with him in it.
holy shit i am so mad today
To jump on this, whole foods spicy guac is $2.99 where I live and it's absolutely amazing
If you know what you're doing, you might as well go for the avocado, pepper, onion, cilantro–but honestly, unless you make your own often you won't get better quality than the premade stuff
Plus, the whole foods tub comes with a lid, so it lasts way longer (but really I just mean it lasts for more than a day)
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>itt: normies that can’t even be bothered to make their own guac
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I was messaging this guy on discord for not even two days before he said he wanted to end the conversation because I wasn't responding fast enough. He acted like everything was cool but then messaged me saying he was trying to get me kicked from a server he invited me to and asked me to leave because the owner wouldn't do it - as I did nothing against the rules. Then he deleted me from his friends list so now I can't even call him out. Is that not an incredibly petty thing to do after saying everything was supposedly okay or am I wrong? This is why don't bother with making male friends.
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i hate bitches that judge you for smoking weed. Think they are better than you because they themselves dont do it. Meanwhile they binge drink every weekend. Make it make sense! I hate that being an alcoholic is more normalized than being a stoner. Honestly I need to stop caring about what people think of me.
I remember seeing your posts here and there, and I'm proud of you for standing your ground and maintaining no contact with your mom. Also, fuck that guy.
I hope one day you'll find someone to love and cherish you the way you deserve. I'm glad you stepdad defended you (or tried to as much as he could I guess lol).
NTA but i think its moreso the fact that apparently some of them pretend to know what it means. Its like thinking that fly fishing is fishing in an airplane.
Also in art class I was taught that plein air is just another basic vocab term so anon's post didnt come off as pretentious to me. Its literally just the name and tbh anon is actually weeding out morons by using it. Its like when men write "i love hiking/running" so that fat girls wont message them, even if theyve never hiked in their life. But if they genuinely ask what it is then yeah they just wanna start a convo lol.
christ, nta but knowing some basic expressions or terms in french doesn't make a person pretentious. I'm embarrassed in your stead.
I'm not an artist and I know what that means. It's about having basic culture or in your case, the lack of.
>>470559>I’ve basically given up on dating.
So basically you're just as lazy as you're accusing these men to be? kek
they're just trying to start a conversation, it's not that deep, chill
You acting all offended like how dare you get annoyed because op doesn't like the dumb scrotes that populate most of dating sites.
Only you people defend your right to sound like mongoloids and don't understand why people hate it
nta but you sound like the OP, and you/she sounds autistic as fuck. OP is basically saying she's inviting conversation and then getting annoyed that the guys are trying to talk to her? she's not annoyed at the random messages from 500 guys and their 500 penises, she's annoyed that they won't look up her elitist terminology rather than just explaining that she's painting outside. any sane human being would rather have the person their talking to ask them about it
to try to continue conversation as that is how conversations work.
It's their cheap way of an icebreaker, clearly. Instead of looking it up themselves, they use it as an opener to ask you a question instead of doing some research to ask you something more specific about it.
I agree that it's lazy, but this is totally typical of men. The only way around it would be to put a parenthesis next to it that's more laymen, or take it out completely.
Not quite the same but I had a very niche hobby that is put in my profile and even had some pics of me doing it. Lo and behold, that's all men would open with–questions about what is the thing. It was annoying so I just stopped.
NTA, but is it really that hard to Google some shit? I do it all the time mid-conversation.
I'd agree with you if anon was talking about meeting people IRL and talking with them, but if it's a dating app, you're literally already on your phone, lmao.
I silently went on a social media purge but the only thing I've kept is twitter. I can't help but think when my best friend realizes that I've gotten rid of my facebook (and eventually my instagram, it's only up so I can go back and download all the pics of my dog before I disable/delete it lol) she'll probably get all grouchy and uppity about it.
Like, it's my social media and I don't want to use it or be so dependent on killing time with it anymore, so why the fuck does she have to care? The way she views it is like "well then just don't look at them/waste so much time on them, but you don't HAVE to get rid of your accounts" but in my head it's like… I don't have the willpower to just not look at them. Even in the first week after deleting the apps off my phone, without thinking, I'd automatically go to click on where the apps would've been, multiple times a day. I have to disable my accounts and delete the apps off my phone to make it harder for myself, because in that moment when I realize I have to go out of my way to log in and reopen my account/redownload the app I'll think "wait, I don't actually want to go on these sites" and I'll stop.
I only know she'll be condescending about it now because she was condescending about it back in college when I said I was thinking of deactivating my facebook for a few weeks around finals. It rubbed me the wrong way, like "yeah, why don't I have the self control to just not go on those sites while I'm studying?" so I just left my accounts up. I just hate how she feels the need to chastise people about decisions that don't matter to her. She used to always comment about an ex-friend who would deactivate her facebook frequently. I still use messenger, but I just don't want to use the actual app or see my feed. I've pretty much stopped posting on facebook and I purged my instagram earlier this year because of another unrelated meltdown, but having an empty feed felt so good and I didn't want to fill it up again.
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Was a turbo retard just now trying to trail my town's pokemon go group doing mewtwo raids, managed to participate in one but the bastard got away/I ran out of balls. After that one I failed to join any others. Literally why am I so retarded?? It was just a group of neckbeards and moms with small children yet whenever they were in my line of sight I got into a full on fight or flight mode. At one point I accidentally got in front of them and when I realised that, its like I almost got possessed and power walked int he opposite direction. I am not even sure if this bs I do on the reg can be considered social anxiety as I don't get heart palpitations or sweating or panic attacks etc, I literally just physically can't and get myself out of those situations on autopilot. When I can't get out of them (like at uni and such), I go almost mute, it is so cringe, I thought I'd grow out of this bs but I'm 22 now lmao. Experience none of this if I'm with at least one person I know.
God, I just wanted that bald kitty! Not sure if I have enough willpower left to try and pull this shit off for giratina tomorrow. I'm so mad at myself lol. >>470628
For what it's worth, your phone should be fine as long as it was less than 30 min. This is legit nightmare scenario and I'm so sorry, anon!
I've had friends who got uppity about deleting social medias too and I'm starting to wonder if they feel personally offended by it because they feel inferior for using them (I suck at wording this)
Like if you arent wasting your time on social media like they are, then you're "too good" for them or something like that and they can't stand it. It's dumb, nobody is better or worse for using it.
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i thought this was me for a second. you have word for word written out what i've been doing these past few months lol.
i have 0 self control and i physically have to deactivate my accounts and then delete the apps and then block them on my iphone settings because it's the ONLY away to resist the urges to go back on. like you, i constantly closed tabs and pressed where the apps would be until realising that they're gone.
some friends of mine have questioned my methods and taken it personally, one outright accusing me of blocking her before i had to explain what i'd done.
i was far too involved and wasted soooo much time on social media i could honestly just scroll for hours and hours. such a waste of time but i've been in such a better place mentally.
sadly everyone's so focused on updating their lives consistently through social media and messaging on all these apps that i've been quite lonely. only a few friends have been texting me consistently but what can you do. i need a social break anyway, gotta focus on myself and doing what i need before getting back into it.>>470684
i think there's a difference between it personally. i don't go on these boards the same worrying amount as i did on apps like facebook and insta. i think the major reason being is i don't feel compelled to see what people are posting because i'm not attached to them. i also don't feel pressured into posting myself regularly. this board for example is fun for me to read certain threads before bed.
When she said that whole "well just don't look at your social media instead of deleting it all" it gave me the impression that she felt she was better than me because she might have the willpower to just stop looking compared to me, who can't. Although I actually don't know if she can just wills herself to stop looking or just touts that she can, because she doesn't seem to mind going on it and using it frequently (but her habits aren't my problem and she's fine with it, so more power to her).
I do get what you mean by people feeling inferior though! But fuck, I'm deleting my social media because I don't care to see what you're doing with your life (unless they want to directly catch up with me and tell me), so why would I even care about their social media habits haha. I really don't think I'm better than anyone else, honestly I feel kind of like a loser now that all of the idle time I spent scrolling through social media is just staring me in the face, I feel like an idiot because I don't know what to do with myself lol. I guess I'll figure it out. >>470689
Thank god I'm not the only one haha. I really did feel like something was wrong with me just because I can't stop myself from looking all the time, but the motions are so automatic that I realized now that I did it without thinking! I'm glad you're in a better place mentally now!
I do feel lonely sometimes too, but I think that distance makes it really nice when I do get to see or talk to them. I feel like seeing each other's constant life updates sort of kills the joy of catching up with people. Like it kind of hurts my feefees when I want to tell them a funny story about something that happened and they interject "oh yeah! I saw you post about it!" which is also my own fault for posting about it, but fuck haha. I want to surprise and be surprised by things going on in their life!
Please, it's inappropriate as all hell and YOU aren't comfortable with it to boot.
Driving multiple hours to see the opposite sex on a holiday…hahahaha. No, he cannot do that shit anymore unless he doesn't wanna be in a committed relationship.
Lay down the law, or dump him.
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>lost my virginity in summer 2018 during a one night stand to a speed addict who was 9 years older than me
>immdiately after that entered my first serious romantic relationship, with a physically+emotionally abusive guy, was with him for almost a year
>broke up with him 2 months ago
>often he would say "you lost your virginity to a crackhead, you're nothing but a groupie slut" when he was drunk to demean me
>since i broke up with him i've slept with two guys
>getting on ok with life, but can't shake off the constant voice in my head of my ex calling me a slut
>tfw i keep really believing that i'm nothing but a worthless whore who sucks up to men for attention and self worth
haha i hate myself
Harsh. Don't be truthful and tell men about your sexual history. The ones who even care enough to bother asking are insecure about it, want to size themselves up, and they WILL devalue you if they think your number or previous situations are bad in their eyes.
I'm really sorry that asshole made you feel bad for having sex.
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Im going to the 'medtronics basics' class tomorrow and I'm happy and nervous
Always leave an abusive
situation. Do you have an external support system at all? I’ve always been the mind of “no relationship is better than a bad relationship”. You need to learn to love yourself before someone else can love you.
Echoing the other anon: no relationship is better than a terrible one. It's not that it won't be hard, but anon, you won't be alone–you'll have yourself. If you have ANY other place you can go, go to it. If not, find a local women's shelter. You have more options than you think and are more strong than you know. I understand not being able to jump ship yet, but you can take the first tiny steps. If there's a women's shelter, center, whatever, near you, you can even just look at their site, see what services they offer. One step at a time. Your life is much bigger than it feels like right now.
Anon probably doesn't have a support system if the threat of homelessness is looming, and even if she did, sometimes leaving just isn't simple.>>470759
I empathize. It's a treacherous world to navigate alone. Especially after someone has given you a broken heart, a lowered sense of worth, and nothing to realistically support yourself once you leave.
I was in a similar situation as you a year ago. I was with my ex for almost four years. While he was never physically abusive
, he was emotionally negligent, inconsiderate, and very unloving towards me despite all that I sacrificed for him. I had no savings because I struggled to support us, and he always whined about money. I felt alone even though I was technically with someone, which was so much worse than being single to me.
I left him but I had no choice but to move back in with my parents. My mom is an abusive
narcissist. I actually did wind up becoming homeless for a month by living out my car and using my gym membership to shower for work because she was so horrid to me that I abandoned the situation. I only wound up staying for a few months, and then I got a roommate situation.
If you make the decision to leave anon, I cannot say that platitudes like "loving yourself" will fill the void. It didn't for me. I'm being honest in that I fell into the traps of at least two predatory relationships since, because men could sense how insecure and vulnerable I was. You'll be tempted to want to jump back in the saddle again to feel that 'normalcy' of a relationship return, but just know that it won't solve how you feel and may even make your self-esteem worse.
The only thing that helped me move on is time. The pain hurts a lot less, and at least today–despite my ongoing problems–I'm a lot better off than having stayed in that loveless relationship.
You don't need someone, you need money and independence. Once you have those, love and partnership are a want rather than a need (in order to avoid homelessness, for example).
It's depressing that so many people think they cant survive without a relationship. If anything it's easier to get your life in order and become who you want to be without external interference.
I truly thank all of you for your words. The one positive thing that I can say for myself is that at least I do realize that this relationship is toxic
and I know what he does to me is abuse, though he only physically hurt me one time. I don't have any friends and my family is no longer close because of course, cutting me off from them was the very first thing he did. I fell for his bullshit the first year we were together, but reading other women's stories and seeing all of these signs and flags and obviously, when he put his hands on me, I "saw the light."
As someone who’s cut themselves off from family and friends due to a toxic
situation before, you might be surprised at their response if you reach back out and explain your situation to them. Best of luck getting out, anon. You deserve better.
I'm so, so sorry anon. I can't imagine how painful this must be. Please love and care for them up until the very end, I'm sure your dog and cat love you very much and are thankful for the life you've given them. I always post this to anons who post about their pets passing away/having to put them down:https://www.reddit.com/r/baww/comments/1m7exu/dogs_never_die/
I hope it might make you feel better. Please make the most of the time you have left with them.
I'm 23 and a first year. I haven't had regrets for a second. Like you I was super anxious about being older than the rest but I get really well along with everyone and no one has made me feel bad about being a few years older than most people (in fact they were surprised I was older). I wish I had known before how much of a not-issue my age is.
Don't let anxiety and doubt about your age hold you back anon, you're still plenty young. You don't wanna look back in 20 years time and regret your decision not to go back to school, just because you thought you were too old (you're not)
I have PTSD, but it hasn't been too much of an issue over the last couple years. In that time I've only had a few related panic attacks, which I've gotten pretty good at handling, and once in a while I have a sad night, but it doesn't usually last beyond that.
But I swear to god the past month or so has just been the worse for me in terms of being re-traumatized and I'm fucking exhausted. It has just been instance after instance of someone getting under my skin and reminding me that I should never feel safe, that I should always be constantly on-guard and terrified no matter where I go. I've been dealing with it okay enough and getting by, but holy shit last night I had the worst experience.
I've been seeing this guy for a few months, I'll call him my bf for simplicity - he lives very close, so I'm usually at his at least three night a week. I'll come over around 7 or 8, sometimes later depending on work. I've never once felt unsafe - his neighborhood is pretty quiet, his house is well-lit outside, and we take late night walks together often. Last night I pulled up to his house and parked by the curb as usual. I turned off my car and looking down to get my things together when I heard a loud bang against my window. My first thought was that it was my bf just trying to scare me, even though he's never done anything like that before. I yelled "Jesus Christ!" and slammed my hands back against the window out of instinct, but when I looked up it wasn't him.
The scariest part was that confusion and slow realization that it was a man I didn't recognize. He looked angry and confused too, like he didn't know why I was upset. He had a cigarette in one hand a bottle in the other, and for some reason my first thought was that he was going to ask me for a light. He started yelling at me, and I'm frustrated at myself for just how long it took me to lock my door. He kept yelling, "What'd you say? What'd you say girl? Come out here, come out here and see what happens!" I yelled at him to get away from my car but he didn't and I don't know if he's going to leave and I don't know if he wants to beat me or rape me or kill me but it finally hits me to call my bf and I immediately start crying when I hear his voice, and I beg him to come outside and try to tell him what's happening. The man finally starts to back away when I get on the phone but he's staring me down. My bf comes out of the house and immediately to my car, and opens the door and I immediately just start clinging to him.
I finally get my stuff and he brings me inside, tells me the man is his neighbor and is obviously unstable and usually drunk, but has never done anything like that before, just keeps to himself. He's holding me really tight and it finally hits me all the things that could have happened, and suddenly I'm reliving every awful thing that's ever happened to me and hyperventilating and I spend the next I don't even know how long, weeping and shaking and trying not to puke. The guy I'm seeing was so good, so patient and quiet with me, he didn't get freaked out and he made me feel so safe and I couldn't be luckier in that sense. I tried to make jokes later and calmed down a lot, but I had a hard time sleeping. I kept going through that moment of looking up to see this face against my window.
I don't know. I've never been in a situation like this and I don't know if it's normal to be going through it again and again, if that's a normal response anyone would have or if it's my PTSD acting up or what, but I'm. I don't know, sad, and frustrated. Angry that I know this is going to change things for me, that I'm just doomed to live the rest of my life looking over my shoulder and being afraid because even in an every day situation I've been on dozens of times, this time could be different. I'm going to lock my car door the minute I get inside, I'm going to start keeping a knife on me again, hate that I'm going to start carrying Xanax again in case I have another panic attack. I hate it. I hate that I feel this way, I hate being forced to live like this. I missed class this morning and I'm still in his bed because I'm terrified to leave like I have every other morning for months. I feel vulnerable and fragile and weak and I hate this.
I dread having to go back to uni next week so much.
I have so much anxiety that going to class is a challenge every single time. This is already my 5th year and I don't have any friends at all. Pathetic, I know, thankfully my parents allow me to go slow, so it's not like I have super many classes but it still makes me feel horrible. I just want to run away. I'm also not looking forward to having to work in 1 or 2 years too, if it wasn't for my parents, I think I'd just live off the state or do some weird online job.
When I just started uni I was still super motivated and promised myself to have a nice college experience (contrary to my high school days) but in the end it got a lot worse. I walked up to so many people, talked to them, sometimes had really nice chats, but in the end they always left me for others. I really want to know what I do wrong. I tried so many different approachs but nothing ever seems to work. I wish somebody could tell me what is wrong with me, what makes me so unlikeable. I've wanted to lose weight since before entering already, but instead got even fatter, so if people don't like me now, it's probably because of the way I look, but back then I was still somewhat slim, so…? I do have a resting bitch face and am very tall, but I tried my best to seem friendly. I always smiled at new people entering the room, I was never on my phone to seem more approachable, yet instead of sitting next to me, they rather choose to sit next to some grumpy person who barely acknowledged them. It's as if I'm invisible.
Every time we have to do a group project or god forbid go on a trip it's horrible for me, because I don't have anybody to partner up with. And I'm already super scared of the graduation ceremony (if I every manage to finish…), because I'll be the only one without any friends. Sometimes I think of just posting myself somewhere to have people tell me directy what is wrong with me. Otherwise my life will never get better.
I don't even want to think about how disappointed kid or teen me and my deceased grandma would be, if they knew how I turned out to be. In primary school I was number one in my entire age group, even good at sports, looked like I'd grow up to have a super nice body, lovely group of friends, and now I'm a kissless 24-year-old fat virgin, who's too scared to look anybody in the eyes, who's less than just half-assing the few things she does, who's only on the internet and whose only companions are her parents and her little sister.
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ive posted my hand before ( palm faced ) and everyone assumed i was an old lady and it hurt lol
I hate it too, it's so try hard-y. I was just watching a streamer who was talking about how he was getting bashed by some viewers for not being active boycotting some issue he's aware about, like let the guy live his life, he's got a daughter to care for at the end of the day lol.
I just hate it when people go after random friends & family members and act all condescending about it because all of a sudden they just expect too much out of everyone. It's so narcissistic.
Not sure why it happens to me either, but I figure it's just the way I look. I don't get the halo effect benefit as I just look like an annoying/bitchy/punchable person so people attribute negative qualities to anything I do no matter if I do good or bad.
As long as I do my best, that's what I care about, and I'm extra proud for what I achieve despite the disadvantage of being unfairly judged a lot.
Completely agree. I've unfollowed/muted a ridiculous amount of people recently because they keep doing this garbage. They don't even practice any real activism and barely research the subject they're rallying for before making a snappy take based on muh feels and unsourced social media posts. The fucking worst part is how they might rally for one socially dubious thing but turn around and defend another problematic
trait because it's ~more woke~ by some stretch of mental gymnastics. The horseshoe theory might be a meme but they're a living example of it.
I've decided to ditch those people from my life completely though. Have fun being miserable 24/7 and thinking you're a better person for supporting the social media canceling of the week without even knowing what it's about. Maybe you'll wake up one day and realize what a toxic
piece of shit you are and get a real life with real life problems.
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Dunno fam, I'm basically in the same boat (5th year of uni, no friends despite various approaches, khhv, resting bitch face, promising child, mediocre adult etc etc), my most profound condolences and I pray we both manage to graduate! Honestly I think that whole "find fulfilment within yourself" thing is a massive meme as I'd much rather just have 1 decent friend lol, but sometimes I do feel almost normal when doing solo activities so maybe try dabbling in a new hobby? Maybe sometihing very left field that you normally wouldn't even consider? Also, if possible, maybe consider working part time to maximise your odds of coming across someone who would love to be your friend? Like my only social interactions throughout the week are my elderly coworkers, which is bit sad ngl, but also I genuinely love talking with them, they're unexpectedly funny, especially the 50 year old Stacies kek
depends who it is. I'm talking to a youtuber now and there's a reason his content is the way it is (a lot of reddit/4chan based stuff). he comes off as an autistic neet and is really really hard to talk to. shares his girl problems and whatnot but it's hard to help when it's just his personality lmaoooo
but yeah idk see how it goes talking to them first, you might end up wasting your time on a robot. god speed anon
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bitch are you talking to daniel? stop it
If you don't mind me asking, what did this person do that caused the emotional trauma?
A girl who was overall 10x better than me once made it her mission to steal my boyfriend of 3 years. She took him in as little as 2 weeks, I was devastated. They didn't last long but I had to uproot my whole life and move across the country back to my parents'. I still check her social media every day.
I hate how she's prettier than me. It's like self-harm looking at her and feeling powerless. Often I dream about her coming out and stealing my current partner away
Color me shocked that the same people who usually talk so progressive on environmental and climate matters can't go without electricity for the sake of not causing unnecessary environment damage a la fire.
Just goes to show how some people are all lip service.
kiwi is dying on account of recent user data leaks
scrotes are trying (and failing) to flee elsewhere
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Thanks for the words of encouragement. But yeah, the guy has a kind of inactive channel he hasn't uploaded anything on in a while. In regards to >>470482
- He seems pretty well rounded outside of interest in vidya.(but I dig it) Also they're not really attractive, conventially at least. I just personally find his face, sense of humor and interests cute.
I think I'll take the jump "to get to know them better," wish me luck~