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No. 503809
File: 1578972642758.jpeg (93.16 KB, 500x375, 53536D3D-A103-48EB-B9F5-9F4965…)
i feel like i am never content with my life. the other day i was thinking about how everything that i was depressed about last year (not having a car/my license, still living with my parents, working at a job with poor pay) i now have. but i am still not happy. in fact, i don’t remember the last time i’ve felt genuine joy. my life feels so bleak. i don’t know if there’s any way i can fix this.
No. 503819
File: 1578977045358.jpg (28.89 KB, 621x636, 1576986254579.jpg)
Everyone is somehow holding it together and hoping for the best and here I am unable to keep from crying like a little bitch at work. This is a new step of life for someone I love and all I can think about is the small percentage that the surgery won't be successful and they'll die. This isn't what anyone needs. They don't deserve this kind of bullshit from me. I know all this but I still can't pull myself together enough to face anyone. They deserve better.
No. 503865
>>503853Seriously. I 100% support living a zero waste lifestyle and all, but most eco-conscious people, especially New Worlders, just… don't.
They have a 10 step Korean skincare routine using products they order online, they use HelloFresh because they can't even boil an egg let alone cook, they have a walk-in wardrobe chock full of clothes, a "seasonal capsule wardrobe" for them is my entire year's worth of clothing, they drive out to eat, they have a vanity full of makeup they don't know how to use, they follow the KonMari method and "declutter" once a month because they've wasted so much money on useless shit that they don't have any more room for it, they will try to be "minimalist" by throwing out their current shit and buy replacements for said shit that is just more expensive and minimally designed. They have a dryer and act disgusted when you tell them you can just put your clothes out to line dry because "I don't have time for that". They wash their clothes after one wear because wearing jeans twice in a row is "gross".
They're acting like it's some revolutionary thing when my whole family has been living like this for generations, the more I listen to North Americans (and upper middle class Europeans, mostly UK) talk about their weird ass habits the more I realize they've become so detached from the realities of life that they'd die of hunger or thirst if they were left in a rural house in a slightly less developed European country for more than two days.
The funny thing is, I'm hearing so many people complain about clutter, debt and having no money to pay bills. Which is absolutely an issue, but it would be less of one if people nowadays weren't so spoiled.
No. 503883
>>503853Yep. Yet the ones who'll suffer the most from climate change are the lower class. I know life isn't fair, but we're seriously reaching peak irony.
>>503865Amen. The makeup, the skin care, the clothes, the frequent declutter, you nailed it all. And those are always the loudest about saving the turtles and donating to half-scam charities. Meanwhile they look weird at people who stop to talk to the homeless or who refuse to own a car because public transportation is enough for them. I hate it. Then there's this new trend of buying experiences instead of material gifts, which comes from a good place, but ends up just displacing the waste created because the experience still needs to be cool and instagram worthy amiright?
No. 503991
>>503772Went to dinner at my boyfriends today with some of his family. His family is huge. My close family is just my mom so I'm not very used to family gatherings particularly in later years.
His sisters husband commented that I'd lost weight. I've always been naturally skinny but have gone down a few kilos. I don't know how well he remembers me since the last time he saw me though as we've only met once years before.
We had pork rib for dinner and my bf's dad asked if I wanted some of the crispy fat on the side. I said no thanks as I don't like it much and he's all like "You need it though!" He probably means well but it's kinda uncomfortable because he has commented on it once before.
Also his mother asked if I had a burn on my face. I just awkwardly said my cystic acne was really bad lately.
They're all really nice but small comments like this really burn into my mind lately.
No. 504024
>>503484It's been a couple days since my post but I wanted to say thanks anon! Your situation sounds tougher than mine and I hope you can move out soon and meet someone nice! I'm too weird to attract any Muslim guys (any, really) kek so I have that going for me. And hopefully that plan to travel works out you and have a great time; visiting new places and seeing the world is wonderful. I resent my family in some ways but they've taken me to many places and I'm grateful for that.
I'm in my third year and live on campus, but at home during breaks. My parents plan to move far away after I graduate and I plan to stick around so I should have some privacy. And I hope I can make some stronger friendships but getting close and having those organically come about will be hard for me.
No. 504047
File: 1579053337002.png (3.16 MB, 1125x2436, 1577523745861.png)
I think I'm truly in love for the first time in my life and it feels terrifying and my autistic ass wants to run for the hills. Why am I like this?
I don't deserve that nigga
No. 504055
File: 1579056600745.png (1.53 MB, 1184x1138, yeah.png)
i’m sorry but this is going to be long because i really, really need to vent to unbiased peoples and y’all are my best option.
i’m currently living in a house with my parents, my brother and his girlfriend. they’ve been living in this house for less than a year.
so, i’ve known my brother’s girlfriend (i’ll call her G to make it easier) for about 3 years and we got along great. but i noticed a trend she had with her roommates and coworkers—they all were amazing until one day she decided they were awful and she had to quit the job/move out ASAP due to their terribleness. it struck me as odd but she was always so sweet to me that i figured she just had bad luck or something.
when they moved into our house, at first it was good. she was still really sweet and fun to be around. but within a couple months, her demeanor towards me changed. she wouldn't talk to me. if i forgot my key and had to be let inside, she would open it and immediately walk away. i had my best friend over for the summer and she acted the same way towards her, even though they had gotten along when they met a year before—my best friend was even excited to be able to hang out with G! besides my friend she remained super sweet to everyone else so i assumed it was something i did wrong.
i don't want to make this a sob story but i will say this for background info. i have struggled with mental health for a long time, a couple years back i was in-and-out of psych programs and inpatient and had to leave school due to it. i was diagnosed with schizoaffective, which has thankfully been mostly under control in the past year. G was around to witness all of this and is aware of my issues, which will be relevant.
after a few months of her singling me out, not talking to me (and being rude when she did actually talk to me) + going back to school full time for the first time in 2 years, i got very stressed out and ended up self-harming for the first time in a year. i went to our shared bathroom to bandage it, clean it etc. and accidentally left a bit of very bloody tissue in the bathroom. i know this isn’t acceptable and i should’ve been more considerate but i wasn't in the best state of mind and I'm very forgetful. anyway, G gets home with my brother and goes into the bathroom. she sees the tissue and makes a disgusted noise, saying to my brother “see what i have to deal with?” i started crying and went to my brother and explained to him what happened and that i was upset that G hated me. he said G doesn’t hate me and had her come in and we had a talk. she told me that she acted this way because she didn't like how little i cleaned (which is a fair thing to be upset about. i don't contribute enough) but she also went off about how i didn't deserve to get disability and there’s schizophrenics out there who can barely get out of bed who REALLY need it, etc. and i should just go outside more and get a job.
all of the things she told me, i agree with but i just don't think it was her place to be telling me that. she has also been disrespectful to my parents, and aggressive towards my brother, screaming at him over the cleaning after he’s worked 12+ hour shifts.
a few months ago after something happened i got it in my head that she’s plotting to kill me. i know how ridiculous that sounds to people, but when i’m home i can’t get it out of my head and i’m legitimately afraid of her. i heard her saying “i’m gonna kill her” and then to her cat, “oh no, i’m not talking about YOU.” i legit don't leave my room when she’s here. but then a part of me thinks i’m making up that i think she’s trying to kill me in my head as an excuse for being so useless and inconsiderate and not contributing to the house. so i just don't know what to think. or what to do.
TL;DR i need to move out soon
No. 504060
>>504055She sounds like a fucking bitch. She's living in your parents house and should respect you more. No idea why she's even there. Why is your brother having his gf live there without them having a place?
Her being disrespectful is awful, and i'm sorry you have to go through that. Maybe have a family talk? because that isnt even her house to begin with
No. 504069
File: 1579057859530.jpeg (69.46 KB, 672x896, AB77CA02-7054-4F37-8561-70654F…)
>>503979I feel your pain anon, I have the same problem but mostly because I look underdeveloped, breast and hip wise, compared to other girls where I’m from. And the fact that I tend to dress a bit comfortable and not put on makeup because of my pimple ridden skin makes me look even more like a 16 year old despite being 20. I wish I could l look my age instead of being this stunted, all thanks to my shitty hormones only aiming for my face and not my boobs.
No. 504071
>>504055your parents NEED to kick her out/evict her if necessary. she's affecting you and does not even give a shit. please tell your parents to nut up and kick her out. this is bullshit and pisses me off for you tbh. she needs to leave. tell your brother he's in for a lot of misery if he insists on investing more time on someone this cruel and unreasonable. you don't need to move out. it's your parent's house!! SHE needs to go, and if your brother wants to keep her there at your expense, he needs to go too.
you and your family cannot enable this. these people will destroy your lives and getting them entangled in their property, it can be horrible and a drawn out nightmare. she needs to be dealt with and disposed of NOW before she does some nefarious shit and it ends up affecting you, your brother, or your parents even more
No. 504072
>>504060>>504071i've spoken to my parents (mostly my mom) about it, but they're incredibly non-confrontational. we all are, really, which is why she's been able to walk all over us. she has treated my brother like shit but he still loves her for some reason.
thankfully they ARE trying to move out but we live in an extremely high-cost area of living, and she keeps losing jobs. they've been looking since autumn.
thanks for the replies anons, it makes me feel less crazy. lmao
No. 504075
File: 1579059212813.jpeg (18.85 KB, 227x222, C103AFC1-024D-47D9-9413-96E59E…)
I’m convinced I have some sort of mild Aspergers. As a toddler my parents said I showed several signs of Autism, but when they got me checked out the Doctors said I was fine. As I am a girl and this was the late 90’s I’m pretty skeptical that they were correct. As a kid I had very few friends, had no idea how to interact socially, and preferred playing by myself. I remember feeling these extreme emotions but had no idea how to express them properly and basically was always having tons of meltdowns, home and school. Whenever my parents got angry I would stiffen up and go completely mute. Trying to process all those emotions was just way too much for me, and my parents couldn’t take a fucking hint and would just berate me for 45 minutes each time until they would give up. I remember failing in most social situations and feeling completely lost as to why my attempts at socialization never really worked. I took a lot of time in middle and high school trying to learn social cues and how friendships worked. It took me a long time but I was able to learn patterns in communication and that’s when it finally seemed to click. Overall I feel like I’ve learned social graces very well but it took me way longer than a majority of kids, and I still have issues when trying to navigate new situations like job hunting. Even thought I can navigate interactions much better now, I still get extremely exasperated when constantly interacting with random people, especially at work. I know most people hate retail but there are so many minute things that get on my nerves every single time I have to interact with someone I don’t know. I currently work in a tea shop and people seriously over complicate how to make tea, and ask me dumb questions about things like whether or not they can put milk in their tea. I just don’t understand why people can’t have their own autonomy about what they eat and it drives me fucking crazy. If it sounds good to you then just fucking do it, you don’t need my blessing. Tea is also another subject that I’m really passionate about and have a lot of technical knowledge on since it’s the only thing I drink besides water.
I’ve always been super interested in animation and I feel like I have a lot of knowledge about both animated works and the actual process of animation. It’s what I want to do for a career, but I’ve always been attracted to art on an almost obsessive level. The only thing that’s slowed me down is extreme depression and anxiety, but I’ve slowly been able to build my self confidence back up enough to continue making progress. I also have some sensory issues but they seemed lessened when I’m on my antidepressants. Gristle in meat automatically makes me gag, and as a kid I hated it so much that I almost never ate meat. I didn’t like chicken nuggets until high school. I also hate my nails being dragged across certain things, like nail files and sponges. I have to put pressure on my nails whenever I’m giving myself a manicure or else I get freaked out.
There are a few things that don’t really line up with Autism but I feel like the symptoms I do exhibit outweigh the ones I don’t. I had a really hard time with personal grooming during puberty and for several years spent an insane amount of effort into becoming at least average looking. I’m a fairly feminine and like things like makeup and clothes. I really hated wearing dresses and skirts up until literally a year ago though. I was an extremely sweaty kid in middle school but in retrospect I think that was more just a symptom of my awful anxiety disorder. I also got super bad cystic acne as soon as I hit 6th grade, and my desire to become attractive was in part so that I never wanted to feel like I did in middle school again. Now I have a fairly strict grooming routine that I adhere to everyday. I also feel like I have a pretty strong grasp on humor, as comedic animated shows have always been my favorite.
Overall I’m pretty convinced but I doubt I’ll be able to ever got a proper diagnosis. I feel like I’ve just had to create this persona in order to proper interact with the world. It feels like a mask I put on in order to function even though that shit is so cliche. I don’t really feel like I want to be ‘normal’ but really I just want to know the best way to navigate the world for how I think.
No. 504085
File: 1579061240681.jpg (163.83 KB, 537x537, 76856341_147170463252631_73365…)
When I was like 17, this kind of trashy but sweet and gullible older kid I worked with rented a room from us. I remember whenever people fucked me over he'd comfort me for hours and hug me every time I cried, he'd tell my boyfriend how lucky he was to be with me, and was just generally really kind to me when I needed emotional support, helped me at work a lot, but never was inappropriate or suggestive or anything to me. It was just really sweet and comforting.
Literally every guy with money or from a more stable economic background has been unemotional and cold with a refusal to comfort me. The problem is that these trashy guys are not very progressive and aren't really too bright in other senses. Pic related reminds me of him and the time we spent together and it makes me sad being that all this time has gone by and not one guy I've met or been with, even though all of them were older and more privileged than an ostracized 19 year old line cook trying to get his life together, have treated me with anywhere near as much tact. It's pathetic. I want to be held by someone caring and I just want a warm bf that I agree with ideologically, ffs.
No. 504094
>>504085I have the opposite experience, line cooks would sexually harass me and working class men in general were some of the most sexist and
abusive men I've ever met. Rich men treat me nice, but they are kind of cold I guess, I'm a socialist politically so I feel bad admitting this.
No. 504104
>>504088What a piece of shit. Your partner is not entitled to your body. You're fucking sick and the first thing he does is try to fuck around with other girls? Where is his empathy for your situation jfc
I know parting relationships is difficult. And with your illness and move and everything… I hope you can make something work
At best please dont let him gaslight you into something you aren't comfortable with
No. 504106
>>504088I know you don't want to leave right now because you love him but if you ever do want to leave don't think that you can't because you depend on him financially. There's resources available to people who are in your situation so if you ever feel stuck make sure to research those. Just letting you know, because as other anons have said your husband is Bad. He's emotionally
abusive.
No. 504109
>>503865I remember talking to a relative about the KonMari method and feeling privately horrified at the fact that everything she realized didn't "spark joy" was stuff she'd bought within the last six months, and that she does it two or three times a year, always throwing out large amounts of items each time. I did it
once to convince myself to let go of things I've been hoarding since childhood because I was still in the "what if I need this later and can't afford it?" mindset. I understand lots of people make impulse purchases, I do it myself, but there's nothing "minimal" about being that careless with your money, and especially not with buying even more stupid shit than normal because you know it'll all get "decluttered" anyway.
No. 504118
>>504094I can't say I agree with rich men being nicer, but I don't think my experiences are super common, and I don't think it's a huge trend or anything, but men who are more "comfortable" seem to be less sympathetic to me. I just think it's pathetic that a really young guy who had less opportunity and support than other men I know, has been more emotionally available than multiple 24, 25, and so on, yr olds, and they're all men who are sensitive, but apparently only about themselves. Just weird, maybe more prone to narcissistic streaks within their personal lives, but not ideologically, because they never had to struggle personally? Maybe it's just where I'm from and the drug/party lifestyle, but the rich men and guys from rich families I've had to be around have been so horrible, conniving, and physically
abusive. I've known a number of them pretty intimately as a result of a few of my friendships with their family members and they've been so, so awful to women and the women in their lives.
>>504100Yes, exactly. I think the relating is just not there. They can't imagine it and don't know what it's like to be sick over your finances, worried about helping your family members, etc. There's no community mentality or something with them, to me. They don't feel a responsibility for their family members as much, I feel, too. I really dislike that.
No. 504175
>>504027It really isn't, trust me, especially since my mom and my brother look way younger too. Clothes can't make you that much younger.
I still look the same as when I was a young teen, it has nothing to do with clothing unfortunately, as I usually dress in darker, subtle clothes so I don't seem childish.
>>504069I have the body of a child too lol. If only my face was the issue- that would've been better. I would like to dress however I want and not wear makeup but that would make me look even younger.
I really envy those girls who wear age appropriate clothes and don't look like they've stolen them from their moms closet
No. 504211
File: 1579102482744.jpg (58.67 KB, 747x731, 1578520506568.jpg)
I miss my brother so much
No. 504217
>>504204if it's so bad here
go somewhere else. make your own "corner of the internet". i don't care about tranny rights at all tbh, but seeing people like you get btfo'd is great.
No. 504224
>>504217You're saying you don't care about tranny rights yet it's still good that person is being btfod? Yeah fucking right.
Y'all don't go this hard for racism lmao
(take this to /2X/) No. 504291
>>504224Hey admin, aren't you deleting 2X? Isn't GC/PP going to be outlawed just like you guys outlaw nationality and ethnicity talk?
Can women not have their own space to discuss these things? Do you guys HAVE to have your heads stuffed up bloody tranny neo-penis holes?
No. 504294
>>504291get. another. space.
you guys are acting like fucking sjws. quit trying to shame admin for getting rid of you.
No. 504336
>>504333me too.
inb4 >stop tinfoiling
No. 504389
File: 1579137282694.jpg (80.06 KB, 749x694, pJzIIsQ.jpg)
>>504234he died a yaer ago anon, I loved him so much
No. 504392
File: 1579138079853.jpg (151.4 KB, 1280x721, tumblr_ml9kbkY1fl1qhcn8uo1_128…)
I kind of had a meltdown because my optometrist ordered my contacts incorrectly and accidentally gave myself a black eye. This is very, very embarrassing.
No. 504450
File: 1579156605987.jpg (48.02 KB, 936x942, D3b-mXKX4AAcwLI.jpg)
holy shit i want to enjoy what could be with the onision thread but unintegrated twitter and newfags just shit it up with their walls of opinion text and garbage thoughts on the justice system.
i guess these faggots never learned the beauty of letting the milk flow without interference. maybe id hope they would calm down after the outings earlier but god its a shitshow.. can you ladies just sit back without poking the good shit? its so much better. /snow/ has been unreadable for so long because of this. i just want a good thread without pure faggotry marring it
No. 504475
File: 1579170930677.gif (464.33 KB, 500x338, getphilosophicalwithme.gif)
I'm getting more and more convinced that life is just you trying to lift your spirits up and when you manage to do that,you get knocked down and then try again
over
and
over
there's nothing else in life.negative feels last more and are stronger than positive ones anyway and it's scientifically proven.why do we even try
No. 504507
>>504475my brother had a full-on breakdown and pity party + tears because he made us both late to an important event for my dad's work. I was ready two hours in advance and told him three hours in advance when we needed to be ready by and he literally went back to bed and stayed in until 30 before. Also he's 15+ minutes late to work every single day.
>>504488>they're not socialized to be mindful of other peoples time and needs as muchlike
>>504505 said it's definitely not a male-only thing but socialization is definitely the reason men are late all the time when they
do do it, and they're usually trained out of it by circumstance (my dad is always the first one ready for anything, and it's because he's been in the military for over a decade and now considers anything later than 5 minutes early to be late). Also I've noticed when women are late to things it's because they were stressing about their appearance too much or they've been spoiled and expect to be forgiven/excused, whereas men do it because they literally don't care how it affects other people and think them being too tired/"depressed" to show up on time overrides the needs of other people.
No. 504514
>>504481Evidently they're not reprimanded in a meaningful way so they're always gonna take advantage of the fact that they can be late. Literally no one is caring if they do it.
I feel like people have this "Well you should know better" attitude towards us women when we're late. Like we're expected to be more responsible and considerate. Not to mention people generally have no qualms about calling a woman out when she does something wrong, as opposed to calling out a man because people assume he's got a good reason.
No. 504517
>>504410I can relate anon. I've gotten a lot better about it after reading The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F*ck by Mark Mason. I've posted about it before on the vent threads and depending on how you view self help books (useless common sense or an insightful take on life), it might be a nice read for you.
There's a chapter where he does talk about comparing yourself to others and how it can be a waste of time if your values don't align. He talks about some musician who, out of spite of the band who kicked him out, went ham to be the best and is now considered one of the most influential people in the history of metal, but still feels like a failure because he still feels like he pales in comparison to the band who kicked him out. Yet to others, he's doing fuckin great. And something about one of the Beatles members who was kicked out but found joy in living a simpler life and settling down with family meanwhile the Beatles achieved fame but had hectic personal lives. It's all in the eye of the beholder.
This was just a really bad and vague summary because I haven't read it in a while, but it's really helped me with comparing myself to old friends. I still catch myself comparing myself every once in a while, but I just always tell myself that our end goals are different and there's no point in comparing myself to someone who's doing great things that I don't really care about (e.g. theyre in med school? wow thats great, but
I don't want to go to med school or be a doctor, so who cares?) or even comparing myself to those worse off than I am (e.g. they're still doing questionable shit? well I might be more successful than them, but what's the point in having a smug attitude about it when basically anyone can be more successful than them?).
Recognizing that social media is fake and is just a warped reality is a good first step! You don't have to do it, but I found that getting rid/emptying out my socials really helped. I took away my means of satisfying my morbid curiosity that might make me feel bad, plus now no one can look at my shit and think "well im better than anon!" because there's nothing to look at anymore! It's a long and never ending process. I hope things will work out for you anon, I'm sure your life is great! Even if you don't think so, there's probably someone out there who looks at your life with envy!
No. 504523
>>504475Find things worth suffering for and what shit you're willing to put up with for the rest of your life rather than chasing measly feel good positive vibes that last a couple seconds at most. If we can't have perpetual happiness, at the very least we can try to find things that don't make us
as miserable. Life is just a shitshow unfortunately.
No. 504534
File: 1579191175951.jpeg (39.17 KB, 406x258, FE9088D6-B97F-4CBE-9D44-D5D5DB…)
I listened to a customer at work rant about their 24yo daughter for not having a boyfriend. Said her daughter makes more than her, lives in a city (a good one btw) and is going to be all alone when her roommates get married and move on with their lives. I was like damn she seems pretty accomplished and all you care about is if some guy is banging her or not.
No. 504541
File: 1579193130013.png (251.17 KB, 760x432, 1578923973177.png)
I have decided to commit suicide. I have noting to live but hopeless dreams of what i could achive if i didn't live in this third world shithole. I cannot even study the career i want, do the hobbies i like or buy anime stuff to at least work for something. I tried going to the psychologist, was in med for 4 years and i feel worse than before. Worst thing is i have to hear about my mother's aunt who decided to go to the USA and how her son is now working on google, that could be me if my fucking mother didn't decide to stay here. I just can't deal with it anymore but i cannot even end it now because she is 24/7 at home.
No. 504543
>>504539>>504541Trust me if you were a middle eastern diaspora in the west not much would change considering a lot are on welfare and live in filth as much as you are now, unless your family are super educated and want to live westernized which is obviously not the case.
Ok it sounds discouraging, but it's not. I'm basicallly saying that you should gtfo your shithole and live alone. If that's not possible, work hard until you can. Life sucks for wveryone in the beginning, but work hard and you'll be rewarded trust. Don't commit suicide, your family's not worth it. (you're the anon above as well right!)
No. 504552
>>504550Organise it then out them in front of all the attendees.
It's the only thing that makes sense.
People like that disgust me. Opportunistic sleazebags, nothing is sacred for them.
No. 504553
File: 1579196670094.gif (1006.54 KB, 500x250, 58DDA5E8-A7AB-4C95-A591-358D62…)
I hate that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
I wish I could become a 'one size fits all' , but such a thing doesn't exist.
My boyfriend has unpopular taste in women, and likes girls that look like the goth girl from the breakfast club (pic related)
He insists that he finds me attractive, but I know I'm not totally his type. I don't know! I want to be pretty to most people, but I also want to be his type and I'm conflicted. I know this is a very stupid, first world problem but gosh I've felt so insecure ever since getting into this relationship although I love him very much and he never does anything to pressure me. I'm putting the pressure on myself. Does this even make sense?
I want to be conventionally pretty, but his type isn't conventionally pretty. I feel so ugly lately, but I don't know if that's just me being stupid or if I genuinely am ugly. I feel so shallow.
No. 504562
>>504553You could be someone's exact type. There is a person for you out there in the world. You're young, not some old maid on her last chance at love. Just because you acknowledge you're not the most compatible looksmatch doesn't make you ugly nor he the villain.
I don't know enough to say dump, but I think you could have a better time with someone else.
Also I don't know how you found out about his "type" but it would be a red flag to me if he randomly rattled off his standards when I obviously don't meet them. Would make me think I'm just his option and not someone he was taking seriously.
No. 504582
>>504580Do you enjoy staying with men who show you a type of woman they're interested in, and it's not you?
He's not a bad guy for having preferences, I just don't see why anon has to settle while she could be with a guy who thinks she's his type already.
No. 504595
yesterday my roommate ((who isn't supposed to be living here) and his gf (also what are you doing here) both like 60, criminal crackheads ~uwu my time in prison)) threatened to knock my teeth in, got in my face, MY GANG AFFILIATES etc. all because I bought their clothes in from the rain. literally bought their shit in when they usually take mine off the line to make room and leave it out here.
my weak as piss other roommate, the one on the lease and the reason they're here (he's 21 and acts like 60 year old goblin crackhead is his daddy) has taken their side. i moved here to get away from these sorts of fucking people
i feel dirty in my own house knowing their here. I say "my own house" as in my home, where I sleep and pay rent. so fucking skin crawling. I did nothing wrong, actually was being nice and considerate, and holy fuck did shit kick off. we were supposed to move to a new place in under a week but they can all get fucked.
also woke up this morning and found they'd packed some of my utensils etc. in their packing boxes. no cunt, that shit doesn't fly you gronky little hypocrites.
I haven't felt this righteously angry but also exasperated in years. something so minor and arbitrary and these drugfucked idiots act like its WW3
anyway I feel sick I've got to find somewhere else to live in this city by next week, wish me luck anons.
this is what being considerate gets me.
never trust a junkie, better yet, avoid at all costs.
No. 504596
File: 1579209808346.png (379.18 KB, 640x958, x1 (2).png)
>>504553My bf isn't my type at all, but I love him a lot and I'm really attracted to him.
>>504558 is right. When you truly love someone, all your preconceived notions and preferences don't matter anymore lol.
No. 504602
>>504599Start writing down the times you ask and he refuses. That way next time he wants to feel like a good boyfriend by telling you that he'll give you what you want, whip out that notebook and show all the times when he didn't.
I can't stand guys like this. Godspeed.
No. 504628
File: 1579217721350.jpeg (75.54 KB, 475x356, 7B9AB89C-61C3-4660-8035-27997F…)
>>504626This sounds like I wrote this holy shit. But yeah it sucks. I always feel so naive and childish when someone disappoints me or snakes me or lies to my face because it’s like. I would never do that (asides from harmless white lies I suppose) and the fact that you can do it with a straight face. It hurts to expect the same respect out of others that you give them. Sometimes I almost sound like pic related when someone does something shitty irl. I can’t imagine how they’d even be capable of that. Sometimes I feel like I’m the sucker because I’m an honest person and share things genuinely if asked.
No. 504642
>>504628Same as you two. It's tiring having to go about life assuming everything is a lie or a scam. And the fact I'm not like that makes me feel very vulnerable.
My rationale says that there's plenty of people like us, so I've decided to be more visible online and true to myself to kinda be a presence for people like this. idk it feels weird to know being kind and honest is rare.
No. 504654
File: 1579229203022.jpg (14.02 KB, 320x240, joker_disappointed.jpg)
I remember there was a term for a women to go through a lesbian/bisexual phase in college before turning full hetero, if there is one, because it explains what I feel happened to this one artist I looked up to for years.
She did a lot of lovely art the mostly focused on lesbian couples (fictional and non) and she would mention her female crushes every so often. We also had some stuff in common, so she was one of my idols. I figured she was definitely a lesbian or at least a bisexual with a strong female lean. Sometimes she would mention her flings but hoped she would settle down with a girl one day.
Well somehow in the last year or 2, she got herself a boyfriend and she's in deep. Very deep. It doesn't help that her art output has really slowed the past 2-3 years. I feel like…I've been burned by this or at least I was liking some façade of her's instead.
Is it so wrong that I want more cool lesbian artists to look up to?
(I didn't know if this could also go into the dumbass shit thread since I feel stupid and dumb for feeling this way, but it was more ranty.)
No. 504663
File: 1579230701843.jpg (259.26 KB, 960x1440, p13625_v_v8_ab.jpg)
Sick in bed and currently binging movies, so my rant is a dumb spergy movie rant.
George gets fucked over so much in Father of the Bride! He has to pay not only for the wedding, BUT ALSO 9 TICKETS FLYING OVER FROM EUROPE for the grooms family(which should have been 9 but fatty aunt took up 2 seats). The guy foots the bill and gets shut down and called insensitive when he wants to cut corners. And to top it off, he gets shuffled around his own damn house at the reception, forced to park cars while he misses the father daughter dance, and even has to wait in a long ass line for dinner, in his own backyard, when he was the one paying for it! And then his daughter proceeds to spend the whole wedding without acknowledging her father until she's about to board for her honeymoon.
Apparently everything has to be kept traditional for a man she's apparently only known for 6 months tops.
No. 504678
>>504616thank you anon, legit actually made me feel better. same to you, may we both be blessed by cleanliness and contentment away from the bullshit.
assuming you're a US anon, spring is like march yeah?? at least it's soon, hang in there my bro you got this, hope your new place is amazing
i'm hanging out on the room inspo thread dreaming of houseplants and decor and yeeeee its soothing during the shitstorm, anons on here have pretty sick taste thank you guys
No. 504690
File: 1579242826488.jpeg (35.12 KB, 1125x1103, 74A5DA44-28D2-4DFA-8B0A-6E6249…)
so tired but can’t sleep
bring me death
No. 504708
File: 1579246882275.jpg (27.36 KB, 670x503, a10.jpg)
>>504707Happened to see "You" on netflix, anon?
No. 504723
>>504607what med? is it adderall? adderall makes me so angry every time. it sucks because it is overall helpful. i rarely hear people talking about it, either, but it never fails to make me want to punch walls.
>>504707honestly, i'd put a call in to CPS. it might scare the shit out of her enough to stop. it's unlikely they'd take her away. that treatment is absolutely unacceptable and can seriously destroy a child, even if it's not physical.
No. 504724
>>504707Does anyone else live in the house with them?
Can you find her on Facebook? Do you know her name?
Can you casually introduce yourself?
Is the dad at home? Grandparents?
Can you make a recording of her in order to publicly shame her?
Also I’m sorry, I went through similar shit hearing my neighbour verbally abuse his son, telling him he’s naughty for crying and threatening to hurt him. The thing is, nobody around us thought it was really bad at all, so I caused a big fuss and made conflict for myself for no reason.
My dad used to say things like that to me as a kid, calling me useless and stupid, first time he called me a cunt I was bout 11. Now I’m a pathetic NEET with drug problems.
No. 504732
>>504723>honestly, i'd put a call in to CPSI did, and they told me the same thing. Ahh.
>>504724>Does anyone else live in the house with them? I know that she has a teenage son, around 13-14. He seems ok, just your average teen boy who thinks he's cooler than he is. Sometimes a man comes over that I assume is their dad(?) but other than that I really have no idea. He's rarely there.
>Can you find her on Facebook? Do you know her name?Ugh, I wish. I know her first name, but not her second. I could ask my dad but I don't think he'd know.
>Can you casually introduce yourself? Not really. I only leave the house to go to college.
>Can you make a recording of her in order to publicly shame her? I could, but I don't have social media and even so, I think people would just brush it off and act like it's no big deal - similar to your situation. My brother also said our neighbour sounds nasty, but I don't think he'd think it's a big of enough deal to do much. Because it's just verbal abuse, and no one cares until it gets physical. Maybe it
is physical. I have no idea. My mum spoke to me the same way, and although I've never had addiction problems, I definitely have trauma from it. I'm sorry to hear that, anon. After college I'm considering going NEET for a while myself. I hope that things get better for you soon.
No. 504733
File: 1579252534034.jpeg (1.15 MB, 828x1509, EB092881-78B7-4C8D-9A94-6E6FC7…)
I feel pretty today, but I feel like I can never get good photos of myself. I don't know how people get pictures of themselves like pic related. Probably a lot of editing and effort put into lighting and posing?
I just wish I could have good photos of myself. Feels like I look the same in every one.
No. 504738
>>504733Selfie lights + around 300 photos out of which they will pick one for heavyhanded editing. Trust me on this.
a sort of related vent: I hate poses where people stick their tongue out like that. It looks gross as hell.
No. 504750
>>504749I kind of relate to this, I deal with BDD and was also bullied relentlessly for my appearance (Mostly when I was younger ).
I still feel grotesquely ugly and isolate myself because of my insecurities.
Can you specify what your insecurities are centered around, is it weight/body related or your overall appearance?
No. 504752
>>504749How about you read a book or develop a skill and
actually become useful to society.
Look at all of the great leaders and geniuses of the past, they weren't exactly winning beauty pageants.
Stop whining about your appearance when you have the ability to control your life through dedication and discipline. Your sole function in life isn't to get married off and have children anymore.
No. 504755
>>504602That's a really useful idea anon, if it happens again I'll do that. Thank you, I didn't expect anyone to reply to something so small
I actually felt so embarrassed after posting such a pathetic rant last night that I put my foot down and ordered what I wanted myself. Who knew Chinese food could be a whole ass exercise in autonomy.
No. 504772
>>504769I have autism and come from a family with a history of it. Living together/sleeping over just isn't something I can do. Other autistic family members are the same. It took me years (and two stressful relationships to realise that)
You're not insane. It's a frustrating situation cos you can't switch off autism and you require a very patient partner to work around these things without resentment
No. 504776
>>504774Samefag
I can even proof that she pretends to sleep to avoid me almost every day. And still I can't break up or even talk about it out of fear of abandonment. FUCK my dumb mental issues that pull me from
toxic relationship to
toxic relationship.
No. 504780
>>504776This doesn't sound like a very fulfilling relationship. I can relate tho, I've stayed in miserable relationships because of abandonment issues too. For once I'd like to actually be the one to walk away
Good luck anon
No. 504813
>>504811Couldn't you just get a few hobbies?
Tbh I don't really like reading people like you bitch because you're living the life having someone else pay your way, and I only wish I had a slice of some of that free time. So exploit it and stop feeling sorry, you've got a situation that's pretty ideal that most women don't have access to.
I doubt if you lack the motivation to leave your house for basic things, that you'd have what it takes right now to go through the process of being a marrow donor. Just donate some blood instead.
No. 504823
My boyfriend gets so upset when I'm sleeping. Our sleep schedules are different right now because he just switched jobs. He keeps asking me why I haven't done anything and I just tell him it's because I'm sleeping. He called me today asking if I could wash his clothes for him and if I saw his text asking so and I just said "I didn't see your text, I'm sleeping right now." And he hung up on me, then called me back asking "What time did you go sleep?" And I said "When you left for work." "It's noon now, I think you got enough sleep" and I just started crying because I'm so frustrated it feels like he's expecting me to be up basically all the time and only go to sleep when he's asleep. It's so unrealistic. I was just on the phone with him for 20 minutes trying to tell him why I feel like I'm being expected for too much and he just says "Okay, so I won't ask for anything anymore since it makes you feel this way. I'll do my own clothes, I'll make my own food." Like I CAN do these things, when I'm awake! I'm just sleeping when you're expecting me to! And he's saying I'm so mad at him for answering all annoyed. I need to sleep, if I don't go to sleep I'm gonna be tired at work and I don't wanna risk being caught dozing off at work. Like when he comes home, he expects me and him to just be together all the time and I want that too but he acts like doesn't want me to be busy doing anything. He wants those things to basically be done when he's at work or something, so I'm telling him it's unrealistic and he's expecting too much from me. I tell him I'm just trying to get sleep in when he's home from work. Why is this so frustrating? Why can't he understand? I have precious time. I don't expect him to get things done before I come home. I don't expect much except for him except just don't make the house smell like smoke. I let him sleep when he wants to sleep. He basically complained about me going shopping for groceries and getting us food to eat yesterday, like who's gonna do it if he won't? I can't do these things earlier because I was busy sleeping or I don't have the energy. I'm just so so so frustrated.
No. 504826
>>504822I think anon's point is that OP's only hyper focused on death because she's bored. If she filled her life with work, volunteering, or hobbies she could at least get some perspective and not think about it so hard. She might enjoy her life since shes privileged to not have to worry about paying the roof over her head, if only she found things to do.
Plus in addition to bone marrow and stem cell donation being a process that requires multiple appointments–keep in mind anon doesn't currently have the gumption to leave the house once in a year–even if she signed up for organ donation they won't harvest from found suicides.
No. 504829
>>504823Ugh. My ex was like this too. Men get jealous when you're "idle" and aren't working when they are. Wouldn't matter if you worked later that day because all they see is the now.
>I will wash my own clothes and cook my own food then! Lmao also you should let him by the way. When do men ever worry about washing our clothes and making sure we're fed? I used to come home from my shift at 1am and cook my own dinners because my ex would eat on high hog since he worked at a restaurant. He had free fresh salads and whatever else made for himself and he never brought me home anything. I had to eat food that I could make in bulk for cheap like soups, stews, and chili constantly. No man has ever cared about me in the ways I've cared for them, and you shouldn't either sis. If you're working 30-40 hours a week, then the domestic labor needs to be divided fairly.
Heighten your expectations and standards sis, he sounds like a drag.
No. 504838
>>504830Why do people like you leave out all sorts of information and then blame other people when they take your stories at face value as you typed them?
I'm glad you called your therapist though and will be able to enjoy your life instead of seeking ways to destroy it. I hope you can look back on what you wrote and chuckle.
No. 504840
>>504829That's the thing, I don't want to apologize for sleeping. Like if I wasn't sleeping when he's gone for with them I'm sleeping right as he gets home. He doesn't see it that way though. I've done the route where I make majority of my food for myself only because he doesn't like most of what I eat, he expects like warm savory shit all the time. And I told him "Well, I don't have the energy to make this food all the time," I'm sticking to my tuna and crackers for myself, especially when he's sleeping because of course he doesn't want it. If I can make single servings of food for myself, so can he. And he tries telling me he doesn't know how to cook for himself or have the energy to, so I tell him "Learn!" I've printed out recipes for him to do when I'm not at home and he'd bring up the fact I won't eat anything he makes because of a food phobia I have, so I told him "Okay, then that's better for you so you have all these leftovers for yourself or you can just make half a batch of the recipe." He says he wants to make stuff for both of us to enjoy, he wants to see me eat the food he made and I tell him okay then make it, then he does the run-around saying I need to supervise him because he doesn't know what he's doing and how I'll only eat food if I see it being made. I need him to stop being so fucking codependent. I'm just so glad he finally got a job where his time sleeping can be at night again because it's been affecting him this much. I'm honestly not asking for much from him but to just be aware when my sleeping time frame is normally at. Until then, I ain't gonna be doing shit because I'm unconscious.
No. 504841
>>504823Did you complain about this here a long time ago? I remember reading a vent exactly like this at some point.
He's mad that you have different schedules and that you get to sleep at times he wishes he could. I promise he doesn't give a shit about chores or groceries, he's just thinking "If I'm not getting sleep, neither are
you" and trying his hardest to punish you.
You can't live in peace with someone who would hold that kind of resentment.
No. 504844
>>504840He wants you to manage and do all the emotional labor. How invested are you with this guy? He's not gonna change anon, this is who he is. He can't even make a dinner for both of you without you stepping in to hold his hand.
How much longer will you reward him with your companionship and love for…this?
No. 504848
>>504838I honestly didn't think what I had typed out was going to get a response at all, I didn't think it would get read into as deeply. I could explain myself wholely on here but that seems worse somehow! My bad entirely.
Thank you
No. 504867
>>504859I mostly blame men who are too stupid to see (or care about) the difference between a collar and choker.
Honestly, though, even if someone is wearing a collar in public, if it goes with the outfit, doesn't have "DADDY" emblazoned on it or a leash attached, I think it's fine. As long as they're not LARPing actual fetish shit in public on top of it, the aesthetic appeal is fine.
Things like leather, long boots, stockings and corsets have been part of both alt and mainstream fashion for a while, to the point where mere neck accessories are kind of desexualized at this point IMO.
No. 504874
File: 1579298407111.jpg (96.07 KB, 1500x1002, 61IEVXfQYDL._SL1500_.jpg)
>>504856there are a lot of chokers you can wear that don't look like bdsm bullshit, anon. ones that do are tacky and hideous irrespective of their association with bdsm.
No. 504928
>>504921She must be the suicide bait poster from earlier and is still salty at the post
>>504813 here because it says "I don't really like reading people like you bitch."
Lol, and now she's just pretending like people told her to neck herself just because they pointed out how charmed her situation actually is and to maybe not feel so bad about it. Hey, whatever keeps your petty asses from killing yourselves and not upsetting people who care about you irl.
No. 504933
File: 1579313127242.jpeg (174.66 KB, 744x744, 6B347EEB-5D67-4207-BF9C-46B90F…)
I started thinking about this tweet again and now I’m mad about how fucking stupid some men can be.
For context, he was mad that Simone no longer updates her patreon as much as she used to. Her two available tiers (which only holds a vague promise of maybe a mailed gift and access to blog posts) cost $3 and $5.
To some extent I get being mad that you aren’t getting what you paid for, but at the same time… just cancel your pledge dude. The fucking guilt tripping and rude accusations of not caring enough for her fans as if she owes anyone anything really gets me fucking tilted.
No. 504945
>>504944>There's someone acting really weird and unhinged in their posting on LOLCOWlmao
what posts r u talking about tho im curious
No. 504946
File: 1579315646270.jpg (41.15 KB, 400x524, 1046408522383032320_1.jpg)
At this point, I seriously consider summoning tulpa best friend… Any advice?
No. 504952
>>504938I (>>504919 &
>>504934) am not the suicide anon.
Turns out neither was that poster (>>504916 &
>>504942.
I hope this confusing exchange proves to people why the "us vs them" mentality is fundamentally wrong no matter who the "us" and "them" are.
No. 504969
>>504964I can neither confirm nor deny this as I have no idea who OP was talking about.
But I will say this. There are seven billion and seven million of us on this planet. This is an unimaginably huge number. Anyone who expects all us 7.7bn to act and think similarly and fit into their comfort zone is out of touch with reality.
No. 505015
>>505013Don't go anon.
Do the others know that she abused you?
No. 505016
>>505011I completely agree with this. I care deeply about people who love to have these pity parties about themselves and at first I felt useless because I didn’t know how to help but now I know they won’t ever change. It’s kind of exhausting tbqh
Also istg lately I’ve been wondering why my bf is harder to handle than a 8 years old who throws tantrums almost daily.
No. 505020
>>505015Yes. They are forcing me to go because my mom will be staying behind to help her while my dad will have to drive back alone and he wants me to help drive. I have been dealing with this guilt-tripping for over a year and whenever I bring up the abuse, they conveniently forget about it shortly after. I just plan on avoiding her as much as possible. She has NEVER apologized for her actions toward me. I honestly don’t give a shit about the fact that she has a baby with some dumbass who got a ton of money scammed from him and already has kids from a previous marriage. Mom keeps saying that I should have sympathy for her situation but having a baby with that dude was HER choice.
Sorry for the long rant but, fuck, I just hope my parents won’t bother me about her again after this. I am just beyond sick of this situation.
No. 505035
File: 1579352186246.jpg (37.21 KB, 702x702, 7a507a779b29cd442a5462cb31fd14…)
I'm so fucking disgusted right now. I was making lunch and went to grab some butter, which was in one of those plastic containers, and when I went to pull the foil on top back, I noticed a little pinkish-red WORM on top of the foil. I looked at the butter itself to see if there was anything gross and it looked fine but I was so repulsed that I threw the entire container of butter away.
I'm so paranoid about bugs and I want to die now. How the fuck did a worm or maggot or whatever even crawl under the plastic lid in the first place? I didn't even know bugs could even survive at fridge temperatures. It definitely was alive because I saw it move. I'm truly disgusted. Do any experienced anons possibly know what kind of bug it might be? I'm scared to google because I'm a wimp who's too disgusted and afraid of insects and don't want to see any pictures or anything gross. I just want to know if I should throw everything in the fridge out and how to prevent something like this from happening again!!!
No. 505037
>>505035it could be something simple as moth larve. might have gotten there during shipping, or in the warehouse.
is it still in the trash? maybe ring/return it to the store, because there might actually be an infestation or something more serious and the product may need to be recalled. imagine if someone out there has the same problem but doesn't realize and is munching away.
sorry to gross you out further anon! at least you didn't eat it. it could even be a lil baby catepillar that crawled out of a lettuce in the store, has happened to me.
hope you're okay buddy! don't trip too hard, maybe have a bit of a clean of your fridge just for some peace of mind.
No. 505038
File: 1579352553994.jpeg (40.38 KB, 760x641, 7EF79E2B-602C-47A9-8F04-E5DE6D…)
I found my old Instagram account I made when I was really young and fugly and it’s so bad. I reported it and said the owner of the account was under 13, which I was at the time, but if that doesn’t work I will kms.
Does anyone that won’t blackmail me know how to hack an Instagram account? Am I retarded for asking that here? I’m desperate lol
No. 505041
>>505037Ugh, the worst part is that of all the gross and dangerous insects, stupid moths (and butterflies, but moths are worse) are the ones that disgust and freak me out the most, and yes I know that's retarded.
I bought this container of butter a few months ago and have been using it with no problem up until now, it was more than halfway finished, so I don't know if it has to do with where I bought it from. I think I last used it maybe four or five days ago and I didn't notice anything weird. I guess it may have been carried in from some produce or something and crawled its way into the butter… ick. My roommates are coming home tomorrow night so I'm gonna warn them and maybe we can all clean out the fridge together, since most of the things in there are theirs right now. But thank you anon, you made me feel a little bit better.
No. 505054
File: 1579355993955.jpg (109.02 KB, 720x960, 58740081_2327156900938349_7053…)
I love this one band so much, I keep listening to their songs but I feel it's not enough, I don't know what else am I supposed to do to feel fulfilled, I just feel overwhelmed by love? Their music is the most beautiful I have ever heard, nothing comes even close to it, it's honestly my favorite thing in life but it makes me angry that I'm such a consumer, that something that feels so close to me is made by someone else, it makes me feel like I have no identity of my own. I know someone is gonna ask who I am talking about so it's Meshuggah
No. 505056
File: 1579356317649.jpeg (208.25 KB, 1300x865, hopper.jpeg)
>>505052omg this so much. I hate hoppers for this exact reason. They're so big where I live. They fly and they even managed to hop on me. Like, I just felt some elastic plastic feeling thing on my arm and then I saw this giant alien looking hopper on my back. I started screaming and jumping around but it wouldn't get off. My brother was just standing there and laughing at me.
No. 505067
>>505062i’m one of the anons who was harsh with you, but this post and the last one before this i saw from you have changed my opinion. it sounds like you actually
do give a shit about improving your life, so good for you anon, i hope all of your plans come to fruition and you can feel confident about where you’re headed.
No. 505069
File: 1579358962672.jpeg (43.84 KB, 639x517, 82E44D66-371D-4FD3-82CA-4BF907…)
I cut my hair from hip length to just above breast length recently and now I'm considering cutting it chin length in the summer, like pic related!
I just wish I had friends so I could get opinions on which length suits me best. Cutting toxic friends out of your life is of course always good but now I have no idea what to do when I want opinions on myself, lol. My boyfriend will think I look good no matter what and I'd rather not post myself online and get orbiters/doxxed. Oh well.
No. 505074
>>505069What's your face shape anon? I have a wider, round face and everyone always tells me how much better I look with short hair. You should search around a bit and look for people who have the same face shape and short hair and see how it looks on them. Afaik there are also some apps where you can get a virtual hair styel so maybe try that (not the best option but why not try? )
Either way, I would just cut how much ever I like. If that's what you like , why not? I'm sure everyone can pull off short hair if styled accordingly.
No. 505087
>>505080>you should be grateful you can talk to them and rely on them I don't know the specifics of your friends and what they were complaining about, but many of us have
toxic parents who we could never talk to and would be punished if we went to them for help, if we could rely on them at all.
I envy your relationship anon. I wish I had a loving bond with my mom, I wish she had the parenting instinct to have fostered one instead of always fighting and being in competition with me. When she dies, I'll feel nothing but lifted weight off my shoulders and relief. It's a little sad.
No. 505099
>>505080Lost them before 20.
I agree with the other anon, people just get uncomfortable or nervous when you try to explain. They haven't lost anyone major in their life so they don't understand why they should cherish that person so much. I've accepted they're gone and in some situations am happy about it. Gave me a lot more freedom to be who I want instead of what they wanted. I'll always miss that emotional and financial safety net though. There will never be someone who loves me unconditionally ever again or I could always move back with. You aren't alone though anon.
No. 505114
>>505113He's probably ghosting.
If someone really likes you, they can never have enough of you in the early stages.
No. 505120
>>505087Yeah I know some people have
toxic parents (my dad was
abusive but he passed when I was a child, felt absolutely nothing when he was gone but relief) so that comment wasn’t intended for those who have shitty parents, It’s also another reason I don’t say anything because friends who I’m not as close to might be experiencing abuse so it’s really insensitive to say, it’s more of a thought I get because I just wish mine was there
No. 505122
>>503772i kinda posted about this already but whatever. my boyfriend dated a girl last year and she broke up with him last december. he had her blocked until about april which is also when we started dating but were friends for a while before. he unblocked her because he said he is completely over her and has no feelings and they are facebook friends and follow each other on instagram and twitter which i honestly hate so much. he likes her posts fairly frequently and i also see that she responds to his stories and they chat. this makes me so uncomfortable but i know he isn't cheating or doing anything inappropriate because he opens the conversations in front of me. i told him i hate it because it makes me insecure and he asked if i wanted him to stop but i feel awkward asking that because i don't want to be the "crazy gf who makes her bf block people" and they seem to be nothing more than friends. this is really a ramble at this point but i just feel sad and insecure right now.
i appreciate these threads a lot because i have no one irl to talk to about this so it feels good just to type it.
No. 505127
>>505122It's worth discussing in person seriously. I had a similar insecurity thing and my boyfriend has agreed to cut out porn 100% even though he didn't do it that often. It's important to just lay your boundaries.
Best of luck anon
No. 505130
>>505122Other anons will have better advice, but I think it's perfectly reasonable to be uncomfortable that your bf texts his ex gf regularly. Sure, it's been months, but she did dump him.
If he brought it up and seemed open about it, ask if he will pull back a bit from their relationship/social media conversations. I think that if you want to stay friends with your ex, you have to expect you can't be that close anymore.
I'm not sure what to else to say about following her on twitter/insta because people can use those differently (like frequently post more personal things, or just nice pictures from weddings, etc.). Are you three in the same friend group or see each other irl regularly?
Anyways, hope your bf is understanding and you guys work it out!
No. 505149
>>505127>>505130yeah that is something to mention as well, she is friends with some people in the friend group but in more of an acquaintance/social media friend if that makes sense, she isn't at any of the outings that they do and i've never met her.
thank you both for the advice, i think i'll bring it up again and talk about it so i can come to a resolution. i appreciate you guys
No. 505160
File: 1579387656236.gif (802.48 KB, 500x332, giphy (7).gif)
>date is coming to pick me up in a half hour
>decide to smoke weed
>get hungry
>go to fridge and savage leftover ihop omelette from this morning
>mfw i just did this right before I'm gonna go out to dinner to a greasy burger place
No. 505170
File: 1579390944954.jpg (25.69 KB, 640x604, heheeh.jpg)
My friend just finished her Master's in a related but more specialized field to what I got my Bachelor's in, and my inner dialogue later went like this:
>Wow she's doing so great! She found an area of study that actively needs researchers and she committed to it, unlike me who floated from topic to topic without putting a ton of time into any of them. She'll probably get a good job and do important things all because she took the plunge of doing her Master's. How can I even say I'm interested in [field] when all I have to show for it is a wishy washy bachelor's?
>OK well if I think it's so awesome maybe I should seriously consider going to grad school and doing something similar.
>Oh so you want to waste your parents' money or go into debt just so you can feel impressive? It's not like getting your master's would guarantee you a good job.You probably just want to do it so you can stall for time and avoid competing in the actual industry.
It's like I can see the positive aspects of other people's lives but as soon as I associate something with me it becomes tainted. I think a lot of people do this subconsciously and I don't do it as much as I used to, but only because I started catching myself and realized how ridiculous it sounds. How do you feel good about what you're doing while still acknowledging the potential drawbacks and not giving yourself excessive asspats?
No. 505171
File: 1579391434761.jpg (40.01 KB, 512x512, uiuio6rddd.jpg)
>mfw my emotions are constantly all over the place
>One moment I'm happy, motivated and dancing
>then the next moment I'm crying or scared for no reason
I have no idea when this cycle even started but I'm getting really tired of it. I just want to be fine goddammit
No. 505199
>>505080I’m sorry you’re living something like this, anon. Lost my mother when I was 18 and she was the whole world for me. She was everything. I’m not saying this because she’s not here anymore, she was the best mother and friend I could ever have.
I’m not going to lie, it’s hard living with this resentment and bitterness and I can’t assure you it will ever get better. It’s so much easier to think about the bad things that had happened that the good moments, just because we can’t solve past problems.
But people is selfish like this, after all. Your friends won’t think about you or have you in consideration because lucky them, they didn’t have to experience this yet. And I know it sucks, I know it’s not fair and I know I wish you could change that but sometimes it’s like this and you will hate those moments for sure (I lost count of how many times I got angry with friends deep inside when they are ungrateful to their parents just because they care about them, or when they told they don’t want to live with them anymore just because when I would do anything (and I truly mean it, I would do and give anything) for just one more day with my mother…just a few hours…). As I said, your friends are selfish even if they don’t mean to and even when you know you shouldn’t get mad, you will. It’s only natural and just another thing you have to learn to live with, even if it sounds and is terrible.
One thing that makes me keep calm sometimes is thinking how my mother would have liked me to be and feel after all these years. For sure it is something to be devastated about but it keeps me going on. That is when my mind doesn’t go to the darkest place…on those moments I’m lost too. But I keep trying to think about how she told me she expected me to be happy…To keep hanging on…even if it was without her.
I’m sorry if I sound kind of sad.
No. 505207
>>505203Why do you want to kill yourself?
your husband deserves the fucking rope like all pedos
No. 505211
File: 1579407772125.jpeg (1.29 MB, 1242x1454, 1557843293024.jpeg)
>>505209why would you hate yourself more than your pedo husband? i too wish i wasn't a woman, but why should i hate myself for that? doesn't make sense. stop it and put your hatred in the proper place.
No. 505280
File: 1579433449879.jpg (12.2 KB, 480x489, hehe.jpg)
Well ladies, I have a sad update. I'm the Anon from last thread whose boyfriend doesn't use soap when he showers. Guess what? I also learned that he doesn't wash his hands after using the bathroom. Not even after taking a shit.
I talked to him about how it was important to me that he does it. He just said "okay" and then ignored me for the rest of the night. I feel like a god damn clown, I really thought this guy was perfect.
No. 505288
>>505280You're going to dump him right?
If not then have fun getting a crippling UTI from his unwashed hands
No. 505327
>>505280So…maybe I'm petty but I have a different strategy for you anon lol. Are you close with any of his friends and family that he talks to? I'm thinking you could get them in on shaming him. Assumimg they're not soapless hippies as well.
Sometimes embarrassment works.
No. 505338
>>50516624/2+7=19.
Half plus seven rule says you're golden. It's your parents that are wrong.
No. 505356
File: 1579462658383.jpg (19.58 KB, 826x282, 1575913568649.jpg)
I am so fucking upset that I can't even fake being okay anymore and have constant breakdowns even in front of people who know me as someone who never cracks. I am too far gone, I just wanna be okay for fucks sake. 2020 can suck my ass, fucking need someone to talk to before I completely unravel.
No. 505366
I'm going to rant about something that I ranted already god knows how many times here because I know that I'm overreacting but I also feel like I have a legit reason to be so worried as I am right now.
The thing is the following: Last october I finally got several of my teeth fixed, speak, I got them crowned. It needed to be done because they were beyond simple fixing. It wasn't an easy step for me to do because of my dental phobia, but I did it and I couldn't have been more proud with myself because I got crowns that look like real ones (no gold or so). Two weeks after I got them permanently I got some kind of pain in my entire mouth era. I have never experienced something like this before. I thought, well with the major procedure I just had, it will go away, my mouth just had to get used to it. But it didn't, So I went of course to the dentist. He said that it was nothing to worry about. Me on the other hand I explained to him that it felt like some sort of heartburn in my mouth and caused pain everywhere and it me go through the roof because what I felt was so uncomfortable. He said I shouldn't use dental hygiene products that were too aggressive and change to some that were not so harsh. I did and it got better, for a shot while, then it started again and I went there again. He took a look again and said that I should change my teeth brush and something like that so it would calm down, it calm down again, for two weeks and it came back. I couldn't go to the dentist again because it was shortly before christmas and he went on holidays for three weeks, I got an appointment shorty after new year. At this point I had no issues but went there anyways because I waited so long and I rather go there one time too much that too little. I was told when it's ok, well then it's nothing serious. Two days after the last appointment I got the same issue.
It's been now over two months now since it started and it drives me fucking nuts. I had today again a sleepless night over this because it worries me so much that I have the worst health anxiety because of this. I fear loosing my teeth so much and not knowing what the fuck is happening in my mouth is the absolute worst. So I sit here, having my dental phobia, health anxiety about loosing my teeth and hearth pressure trough the fucking roof. And on the top of that I don't trust my dentist at this point. I'm angry and disappointed that he leaves my like this. I know that the only thing to do at this point is go to another dentist but I've been at my current one for over two decades now and idk it was somebody that I trusted in that matter and going to somebody else just never really came to my mind up until recently because idk what else to do. Now I wonder how many more things are wrong with my dental health, how fucked my teeth really are and I feel like I'm to loose it (including my teeth) completely because I feel like I don't what the issue is. It's an absolute nightmare and I want this to stop because I have also other things to worry about but it really pushes me mentally over the edge. Fucking hell.
No. 505377
File: 1579469664549.jpg (37.32 KB, 1242x574, kitten.jpg)
>>505366lol are you me anon? I have severe health anxiety too and i've had sleepless nights too because i was so worried about my teeth and how the dentist messed them up (i'm actually currently still worried since i have toothache and other dental issues and i really don't wanna go back, like, really.) I'm no dentist but you won't lose your teeth over crowns that have a bad fit or something. Please do go to another dentist, though but first go check who the good ones in your area are.
I know how worried you are, i really do but you're teeth are gonna be fine, i know it cause even people with the most fucked up teeth still have teeth and you won't lose them that easily(even IF you lose them, you won't be toothless, there are implants and shit)
Please don't worry and sleep!
No. 505383
>>505374Anons here become more aggressive. I feel like people here try to write posts as hurtful as they can.
On 4chan, they just write "ok you faggot" and that's all. Meanwhile, here anons try to came up with most hurtful posts.
It doesn't help that lc is mostly a "girls" board, we should support each other. Or at least don't attack every time, without a reason.
Even if someone is venting, people gonna write something hurtful. On 4chan, I see more "I feel you bro" attitude.
In the end, we shit on guys here but this site proves that we can be as cruel as guys.
But that's my experience tho.
That's how I feel. And it's quite sad, cause I know this site for a years now. Or maybe I become more mature and overall tired with people bullshit…
No. 505388
>>505377Thank you so much for your kind words, anon! It means a lot!
I do plan to invest some time into researching about the dentist in my area, also wanted to have a chat with my health insurance about what I should pay attention to when I do change and such things, because as I said, I have never changed a dentist (or even doctor) before so it's a bit scary on that matter for me too. I wish I just didn't used Dr. Google to look up symptoms because what described my current situation just fucked me mentally even more and the fact that so many family members lost their teeth as well doesn't help at all. Change needs to happen, I want to be healthy and I want to have a good sleep again. I hope things work out for you too anon, wishing you the best!
No. 505396
>>505388That's good! Definitely do it as soon as possible so you can finally relax. And don't worry, I visit sites like webmd like 50 times a day and it's mentally fucking exhausting.
I wish we wouldn't deal with this…but here we are.
You sound lovely anon, I hope you'll feel better very soon!
Good luck and like I said, don't worry!
No. 505403
I'm being a little insecure. Slept with the guy I've been seeing on the third date. He's 5 years younger than me and a virgin. Best believe the latter was obvious haha but at least his dick was nice and he was willing to eat out despite not knowing what the hell he was doing. He's cute, he's got a good job, a clean apartment, and he's willing to treat me right by picking me up and never asking me to pay.
I would have preferred to have waited since we haven't talked yet about what we are, but it felt right in the moment. I enjoyed myself, he even watched a few episodes of one of my favorite shows. We spent the entire night cuddling and fooling around. I let down some major guard in staying over since I'm breaking out pretty badly and I didn't even have my stuff to wash my face. I was more than a little nervous about him seeing my face this morning.
Everything's been fine. He takes me out on thoughtful and expensive dates, and we never stop talking and laughing when we're out. We talk about our future dates and plans too. We've said we like each other.
I just view myself so horribly that I'm expecting the other shoe to drop any minute now. Usually when guys get sex from me that's when they pull away and ditch the effort, if not outright tell me they don't actually want relationships. Or I get so frustrated at being treated coldly that I'll ask and men hate having to directly answer that so they just tell me no to shoo away my sad ass. I don't get the impression that he's like that, but my mind is being irrational and wanting to put up emotional walls to protect myself in anticipation for the worst.
And the worst? I've got nothing on him to tell myself if he disappoints me that he's a shit. My only minor gripe is that he doesn't initiate texting unless to ask for a date, but even that isn't a flag as he's just genuinely not interested to be on his phone. He doesn't have social media. He likes games but he agrees with me that video game obsession in men is cringe. He let me go through his phone for music, and whenever we go out he puts it aside and never gets or sends any texts. When he did once, it was a joke from his coworkers group chat and he showed it to me.
I just can't accept it. So instead I choose to stew crying in my room waiting for awful news and for this to not work out.
No. 505405
File: 1579475123264.jpg (57.91 KB, 749x694, 2988fj.jpg)
I'm having laparoscopy surgery tomorrow to remove an ovarian cyst and it'll probably go just fine but I'm getting really anxious now and probably won't get more than a few hours of sleep since I have to get up so early. My boyfriend seemed mad in text that I spent yesterday with some friends despite us eating in town on Friday. He wanted me to come over to his house this weekend but I said I didn't want to sleep away from home this weekend due to the surgery. He hasn't even sent me a good luck wish for tomorrow. One of my best friends did though - she asked to visit me after the op weeks ago and still wants to. Love her so much.
No. 505408
>>505399I agree, and
>>505372 is definitely a PULL user.
No. 505422
File: 1579479223016.jpg (16.99 KB, 300x300, 300px-Crying_Cat_with_paw_up.j…)
>>505405I'm sure it'll be fine, anon! Good luck though, sounds spoopy
No. 505469
File: 1579499713506.jpg (20.95 KB, 720x506, 0b8c3c3a-9d6b-4b74-a0fd-d8bb64…)
>want to get another ear piercing
>there's only one piercer in town, others are like 1-2 hour drive away
>am sensitive to surgical steel
>they don't have titanium in the shop
>they don't allow to bring in your own jewelry to be pierced
I had my second lobe pierced last April and the stupid thing still hasn't healed. I wish I could go somewhere else to get it done but my work hours don't really allow it and just fuck all of this
No. 505499
>>505383Anons here will call you out on your shit. They're smarter than you realize. I was in a rough patch when I found this site, and got banned and told I was a stupid fucking idiot god knows how many times. And they were right, and I listened, and my life is a thousand times better for it.
Most girls won't give you an honest criticism, they'll lie to save face and seem nice, wow you look so great in that outfit, let's all support each other; then make fun of you afterwards. They won't tell you that your makeup looks like shit and your eyeliner is crooked, they don't help, they just giggle and nod.
I love that people are honest here. It's a breath of fresh air.
No. 505501
File: 1579514042129.gif (911.01 KB, 500x280, Kw.gif)
I just realized I only have 3 years of work experience despite being almost 25. I started looking for wotk the second I was done with high school at 19. Jesus fuck I wasted almost 3 years just SEARCHING for work. Fuck. That's quite the shock now.
No. 505545
File: 1579539650708.jpeg (183.46 KB, 718x718, F54142C7-741D-4F51-9410-BA6EB3…)
I am so tired of living with my abusive piece of shit mother. If I have one more fight with her I'm probably going to have a stomach ulcer, my entire body is in pain every time it happens and my abdomen feels like it's about to rupture. I have no privacy and no respect, and I can't afford to move out as of yet, so it's constant torture. Shit just overwhelms me to no end, her meathead fiancée who can't think for himself is now mocking and verbally abusing me, making me feel even worse.
No. 505546
>>505471He's 23 and just finished college, he got placed in a good government job as soon as he graduated and he thinks he'll go back for an advanced degree.
I'm 28, I have up to a master's but my degrees are useless. I get by right now in an office job where at least on the outside it looks like I have a dignified life.
I haven't know him long enough to see if he's as committed as he says, and that's why it was a mistake to have slept with him even if he's religious and a virgin. And at any rate, we definitely haven't had the bf/gf talk yet. I can't help but think I've fucked up everything and how I should start moving on and seeing someone different.
I'm just tired of the dating game.
No. 505565
>>505546Don't sabotage anything before it starts just because you've had bad experiences in the past.
This is a new person and a new relationship.
No. 505569
>>505280If you don't dump him in 5 seconds, you are the retard.
If not and if you want to be sadistic, shame him in public, ie. after using the restroom when he's about to touch someone / something /eat ask out loud: "did you wash your hands dear? I know you always forget! Are you sure?" Men hate to have their ego /image bruised in public.
Treat him like a fucking baby since he's acting like one.
No. 505571
>>505383Oh really. Just ignoring the 100s of obvious racebait, schoolshooter, sexism, genociding threads on /pol/ and pol-lite boards on 4chan is NOTHING compared to le ebil lolcow bitches being meeean
MASSIVE KEK.
No. 505579
>>505578She seems like a genuine female but she argues a lot like a smug pseudo intellectual memer Male, like “you are grossly misinformed, I didn’t call her a fat bitch, I said he is
behaving like an overweight female dog. Learn to read, type, and reason exactly as I do or you’re a moron”
No. 505604
>>505579She may just have an aggro/masculine way of typing from the pickme mentality and surrounding herself with men while shunning the company of women.
I think a lot of women pick up on male habits when they've isolated themselves with them. Especially in digital places.
No. 505630
File: 1579558880317.png (151.61 KB, 458x458, d911e853-ec90-487c-8779-fa0704…)
lol i'm listening to my dad yell at my mom while he sits at her computer because she can't figure out how to move her photos off her phone
i offered to help because i am not only a tech literate zoomer but also a third year computer science major but he got really angry and told me he doesn't need my help lmao. why are men like this tho? trying to program in my room while listening to him yell incorrect things about "THE CLOUD" is getting tiresome, let me help so you can shut up
No. 505682
>>505674Relatable.
One of my copes was telling myself that I
am worthy of the first option, I just have to put myself around people who will acknowledge and reciprocate.
These friends–while I don't think they do it consciously to be evil–are prioritizing others and you're not on the priority list. Life ebbs and flows, people distance and grow apart. Again, that doesn't mean they're demons and you can't be friends, just…learn to rely on them a little less and don't become their useful idiot/simp. Be a little less available. For holidays and birthdays send something thoughtful like a card with well wishes, but don't stress it and don't spend money you'd regret.
You don't have to explain yourself to anyone. People show you the terms of your relationship through their actions, loud and clear.
No. 505685
I'm a bpdfag and while I've improveseen tremendously, I just get really tired of feeling like a crazy person sometimes, hence the vent post. I'm grateful that I don't have explosive emotional reactions to literally every fucking thing anymore. It was exhausting living that way. So I know I can beat this completely someday, because my "moments" happen so infrequently compared to the past. Just… fuck. I do DBT a lot so I know very well exactly how irrational I'm being, but in the moment it's like I'm completely overtaken by my emotions. It's just so intense and painful, and I become convinced that this moment is the worst I've ever felt, and things will never get better, then maybe an hour or so later and I'm over it, filled with shame, regret, embarrassment, and self-loathing. Like: "Really, Anon? This shit again? You KNOW better."
I'll be back to feeling proud of myself and my progress tomorrow. Tonight I'm having a little self-pity party.
No. 505697
>>505682Thank you for your words anon, you got me all emotional there hahaha, I think you read my mind about the birthday thing…it just sucks right now because I did things with consideration and I feel stupid afterwards.
And you’re right. There are people out there who can and would appreciate us as we deserve, just because the people who surround me right now can’t see how much I do for them, it doesn’t mean it’s not there or I’m inferior…
No. 505708
>>505117>>505114>Don't accept his flimsy excuses if he comes back to you.(i'm
>>505113) Alas anons, I am weak; he contacted me today and said he had a family emergency which meant he was out of town and had no cell phone service. He could be bullshitting but he sounded genuine so I let it slide. He asked to meet with me this week and I said yes, but I still have mixed feelings over what happened. If I'm feeling bold enough I might tell him that if we continue seeing each other then I'm gonna need a bit more effort on his part in terms of communication, but I'm a bit of a doormat so who knows what'll happen.
No. 505711
My mom has been super creepy to me for a lot of my life and I didn't think anything of it til I became an actual adult and it got worse.
I think she's subconsciously like… flirting with me. And it makes me want to cry, scream, and run away.
She's made random comments about how I'd be the perfect spouse (because I helped her into bed when she had surgery + I'm physically strong so it wasnt hard), stepdad is an asshat who doesnt appreciate anything so I dunno if she's just projecting. But she made a comment about me looking so much like my dad bc she wanted to show me how to dance, and then was just being super creepy to the point I was leaning away, and not looking at her before she let go and I just ran upstairs.
(I'm her daughter, just by the way. And according to family, I actually look more like my aunt than my dad)
I can't move out because she's effectively trapped me here. Wouldn't let me get my license, which means I can't get a job because every place around here won't hire you without one, and ones closer to us don't need any new workers. I take commissions to offset and try and save up, but since I always end up buying groceries, or having expenses (i.e the cats need collars + tags, medicine, etc) I can't hold onto it for very long.
I'm saving some of my money right now to take the drivers test, and hopefully get a job so I can save more money + be out of the house. because i feel disgusting because of how she's been acting.
I feel trapped and scared.
No. 505712
>>505699First thought reading this: Who the fuck does this person think they are?
Seeing all that you've typed here, well, let's just say anyone commenting on this in fairness would NEVER say you are the horrible person or didn't try hard enough in this situation.
It sounds like you hold this person who said this to you in some kind of esteem to have taken it to heart, but don't. I don't believe this person came from
at least a place of consideration for you for that to have been said. I'm still amazed.
Don't be sad anon. The truth is many people are either oblivious or naive about addict behavior, which alcoholism definitely is. You're a saint for having even stuck around to entertain addict shenanigans for as long as you did. Addictions ruin lives and can pull entire families into it. Even
trained professionals struggle with helping many addicts. You've done everything possible, and no one else has the right to judge when they themselves aren't in your shoes being faced with such a difficult decision. Cowards.
I hope you can heal from the ordeal, it's about time you put your energies back into yourself.
No. 505716
>>505715I'm doing my best to, it's just wildly, incredibly uncomfortable. She's done weird shit in the past (walking around naked after baths, honking my boob at one point when i was like 13, which registered at the time but i was so used to being abused/blamed for stuff I thought I was just overthinking and it was meant to be a joke) and as I've been losing weight, she's been making comments on how I'm going to have a sexy/rocking/hot body when I finish and im so wildly uncomfortable at this point i've considered just being homeless to get away from her.
it's not really sustainable so I'm mostly just apply vigorously to jobs and hoping to god one of them hires me despite no liscense so i can save up and escape.
No. 505734
>>505712thank you anon. this actually made me cry a lil to read. it hurt so much especially since the person is not only a close friend but someone who i even dated for nearly 3 years and currently wanted me to get back with them! it was so inconsiderate and hurtful then they even told me how it made them uncomfortable i was talking "like that" as if they did not know everything i have done for him or anything else that was going. i have no plans on speaking with them anytime soon. after they stopped replying i even told them to not speak to me if they could not handle the reality of my situation or try to tell me i was not allowed to feel the way i do about any of it.
his addiction started when he had just turned 16 and now he's 18.. it hurts to see that my own family is supplying a minor w/ alcohol along with his friends parents even enabling along with their own kids. i can only try to keep him at home and not at his friends but then he goes to my older sister's and drinks there along with my mom buying him weed!
i live in a area where addiction rates are so high on top of drug trafficking and i have many friends who began using hard drugs in high school. many people see alcohol addiction as just more okay and socially acceptable drugs. alcohol destroys people just as much. yet, its become so acceptable in some ways to drink a lot cuz "at least its not coke/heroin/meth/pills".
i have my own mental health issues and i also have so many things going on that, taking time to try to help my brother has made me fall behind on my own shit.
thank you.
No. 505739
>>505734same anon but talking with a friend made me think of this until now and now i feel mad not sad. a lil stupid i didnt think of it until now but
they still do a lot of acid, along with disappearing for like 2-4 days at a time and think its not a problem to do it
wack. they have no room to tell me this at all even more now.
No. 505774
Y'all, I’m about to lose my shit.
How the hell do you get your mother to stop coddling their 23 year old son who is a piece of shit stoner who does nothing all day but sleep, smoke, and go to work for a few hours and cause shit in the house constantly?
Oh yeah! Not to mention we SHARE A ROOM BECAUSE HE DROPPED OUT OF UNI, and we live in a two bedroom house.
I’m 21. Sharing a bedroom. With a 23 year old. Who pisses in bottles because he’s too lazy to go downstairs.
He steals from my mums fiancée, causes fights, drinks in my room almost every night and knocks drinks over and breaks stuff, also has anger issues to the point he’s punched our dogs (which was caught in the camera we have in the house), and yet my mum does nothing about it, let’s him twist her arm for shit he wants off her and says “you’ll understand when you have kids”, like ?! This is a grown man! Not a child?! If I did half this shit I’d be long kicked out, what is with mother’s coddling their gross incel sons??? Seriously what can I do about this? She’s pushing us away for him and I’m becoming incredibly uncomfortable and stressed and it’s making my PTSD a lot worse because of the constant stress, I feel like I’m going to have a breakdown.
No. 505776
>>505767>I was you once, for six years.What was the reason you stayed with him for 6 years anon? I’ve felt depressed and love-starved since April last year so I understand having trouble with leaving. I’m curious about your story.
>>505770>men get tired of their new toys quicklyI feel like this is what happened since after around 2-3 months is when he stopped acting like he loved me. It’s like right after the honeymoon phase he just became a different person. Reading his old messages breaks my heart so much because he used to say he’d “want to make me feel loved” but now he’s nothing like that. There are men who aren’t like this right? They’re just rarer?
No. 505784
>>505774You can’t make him grow up or his enablers stop enabling. All you can do is get yourself out as soon as possible and take the best care of yourself possible and expend as little energy on the man child as possible.
They’re too lazy and whiny to grow up, too coddled to realise they are a pathetic baby, too immature to be reasoned or shamed into doing anything.
He will make you the bad guy as soon as he’s bored or cranky if you try and help him. His enablers will not defend you.
No. 505879
>>505838Take some adderall lmao
>>505864Doesn't sound like you are smart. Or maybe you are one of those ~gifted but lazy~ people.
No. 505880
I've come to the realization that I actually hate the ~sensitive shy boy~ type of guys I dated in the past. I hate how men online and irl shame women for preferring masculine, responsible men who are capable of controlling their feelings, because manly men are often seen as abusive. In my experience, the sensitive type is definitely more straining and abusive than the masculine one. They need your constant attention, they require enormous amounts of emotional labour (while not giving any back), they expect you to behave like their literal mother, they are prone to addictions (porn addiction especially), they are quick to blame others for their own shortcomings, and they refuse to take responsibility for their actions. When you call them out on their childish behaviour they are upset because "muh women only want emotionless brutes, am I not allowed to vent?". Jesus.
Currently I'm engaged to a very masculine guy, and for the first time in my life, I feel happy and relaxed in relationship. I don't need to tell him to vacuum, wash dishes, he never gets upset for no reason, he doesn't waste all his time watching porn or crying over some rejection he's experienced ten years ago. ~Sensitive~ men are trash
No. 505882
File: 1579632648988.png (243.02 KB, 960x960, 61590ef361e033db606650c9b257a4…)
>>505838Imo you just need to find out what type of learner you are. For example, I don't attend lectures at all because they are useless to me, I always forget stuff people tell me, even in professional setting. But I almost never forget information I teach or write down after reading.
No. 505947
>>505838I feel you anon. I was always (very) good in school but now in uni I seem to be downright retarded in comparison to the other students. We often have to quickly read some pages in class and then summarize them or answer questions and while I don't understand a single thing others are just so good at it. On top of that I live in an region where people speak with a strong dialect and so do I, but most students in my uni are from other parts of my country and therefore speak very properly which makes me feel like even more of a hick. While they're talking they casually throw in terms that I wouldn't even use in an academic paper, like how? Despite reading a lot my vocabulary is so simple and childlike.
I get the impression that others have way more free time than me, only start studying for exams a couple days prior and still get good grades while I struggle so hard. Today I got the results of a very big exam and what the teacher wrote was just devastating, e.g. "you're lacking basic knowledge"… I started studying half a year prior, I really thought I did my absolute best, yet I just barely passed.
This is even more sad since as a child/teen I always thought that being smart was my thing. I might be a total loser in every other aspect of life but at least I'm a good student. Now I don't even have this. And as a result I of course lost all motivation too. And I can't fucking concentrate, I'm just daydreaming all the time.
No. 506002
>>505981DUMP HIM.
seriously, he's not respecting your boundaries LDR. He's not gonna respect them in person and you're gonna get assaulted.
No. 506009
File: 1579673073274.gif (1.42 MB, 540x412, 1574653000769.gif)
I'm a monumental fuck up at making friends, every single time I talk (in either voice or text) in this one discord server I just end up annoying everyone and ruining the image of me even more. I'm just so unlikable and I don't know how to become more likable, I don't really know how to talk to people and I end up saying really cringe and embarrassing things that I'm made fun of for. I have autism so it really hinders me socially, I'm constantly struggling to make friends and when I do have them, I struggle to keep them. I'm so lonely and I feel so isolated and disliked, I wish I could just kill myself.
No. 506015
>>506009Anon i feel you. Lately i don't have any motivation to communicate with people, but every time i do, i feel like i'm pretending to be another person through the whole convo, trying to be as normie as i can and as a result it's extremely boring to me. Yet people still find me weird for whatever reason, even if i'm just copying them. Plus they're so shallow for most part, honestly, can't bring myself to care how their day went, let alone continue to put effort into being liked. Cause ok, you try so hard to fit in, but what do you get in return? It's like you're being done a favour, like, here bitch, you can have some of our precious attention. Yeah, great, i've been tearing my ass apart trying to be liked, and all i get is this???
I wanna have a group of friends, but i have no idea how to do it
No. 506020
File: 1579674906616.jpg (29.19 KB, 722x349, 1531739730306.jpg)
This is going to be very NSFL but i really need to vent about this shit i can't anymore. So a cousin died yesterday on a car crash, they were just two years younger than me (18 yo), i didn't talk to them that much anyways but they were nice and i remember them. The car crash was so bad it seems my cousin was kinda disfigured so they had to re-work their face, and for some fucking reason somebody took a picture of the result at the funeral and my mom SHOWED IT TO ME, holy fuck i want to die wtf? I have seen loads of fucked up shit (extreme gore, ect) but this is genuinely one of the most terrific things i have ever seen, it looked so…uncanny, i just can't describe it and i don't want to. I'm shaking just by writing this and i don't want to sleep even though i know it can worse my nightmares, almost all lamps are on because i'm this terrified. Wherever you are bro i'm sorry they did this to you, what happened to you was very tragic and you deserved your privacy, also i'm sorry i couldn't go to your funeral, i have some mental conditions and it could have made things worse, rest in peace.
No. 506036
>>506023>why they didn't just have closed casket funeral, I think that's more dignified than getting botched postmortemThat was obviously the best option but i guess their family wanted to keep things """traditional""". Thanks for your words.
>>506024Well at least you're letting it out, you should seek help btw maybe it could help you to cope.
No. 506041
When I was younger, sometimes I used my asthma to get out of doing physical stuff
Usually it was just stuff like running a lot, and I rarely did it when I had my medicine, but one (un)lucky day the stars aligned
My medicine wasn't quite working and in PE there was something that I'd refer to as a work out day. Where instead of playing a sport, we ran laps and did crunches and all that.
So, with my medicine wonky and a presence of physical exertion, I was able to sit out that day
Except it wasn't a work out day–the laps and the crunches were just a warm up. Eventually they started playing this really cool looking dodgeball game where 1 team was a runner and the other was a pelter
Basically, you had to run down one side of the court and not get hit by balls, then run back down the other side, sorta in a U shape
I actually slowly walked my way over there and tried to jump into the festivities, but I was chewed out for skipping the warm up exercises
Here's the kicker
For the rest of the 6 years I still had to do PE, the game was literally never played again
I don't know why, there were even periods where I thought we might play it, but that specific iteration of the game was never played
I'm still kinda mad about it, but it's not like I didn't deserve it
No. 506042
>>505383I prefer it here because you can have an actual argument here
I'm on /co/ all of the time and things break down the second you imply you disagree
or worse, don't also hate the oppressed group they decide to shit on
God, it's so annoying to have to actively duck and dodge bullshit over there, just to share an opinion
I don't feel that here
I've been on 4chan for at least a decade and I honestly wish I came to this site sooner
I'm sure we can be cruel here, but 4chan gave up on caring about antagonizing people, you just get the worst, low effort, bullshit and it's constant
No. 506043
>>505438Not alone, but I don't think that's something you can't do if you try
On the not of seeing people you know–it kinda sucks, but they probably don't care about you. I was a weirdo in highschool and it's probably weird for me to do this, but I like or swipe right on anyone I know
On hinge, I even leave little notes saying stuff like "great to see you" or "you look well"
It's cathartic for me to just not care about people I used to have to constantly care about
No. 506061
File: 1579691463745.gif (831.95 KB, 500x281, Lx8dPkE.gif)
I've been having suicidal thoughts again.However, the fact that I consider my body good enough for organ donation in case I kill myself(which usually leaves them mostly useless) and that I'm afraid how people around me will react, I know I care enough about myself and others not to do something crazy
One of my most ridiculous concerns is my sister taking advantage of whatever erratic behaviour I'm tempted to act upon.At the very early times of my depression and my therapy sessions, I found a note my sis wrote to her friends about her being in therapy,and,guess what,she wasn't going back then.My sister has a big problem with lies and being selfish and,while I care about her,I'm too tired to deal with her(or most people in general).I'm afraid that if I even lash out again,she will use my breakdowns to say a pity story for herself and get sympathy or even try to do stupid shit herself to "copy" me.I can't even discuss how I feel with her,not only because she will be dismissive or judgemental,but also because I'm afraid of giving her "ideas".
I wish I could be more honest with how I feel but sometimes it is either too depressive or people just don't get it.And having my sister potentially "appropriating" my mental illness for attention is such a stupid yet concerning worry.I don't want to be an "inspiration" and then get to feel guilty on top of everything else
No. 506086
File: 1579703161727.jpg (44.3 KB, 750x534, IMG_20191128_225353.jpg)
I always feel like a fucking weirdo for having the lowest libido till i get manic, then i feel like i could fuck anyone but i never do because i have self control but boy is life a fucking hell. Cheers, anons, love you guys.
No. 506175
>>506106This is why I get pissed when people comment on someone's weight like they know what's going on. I'd be mortified to get handed information to a rehab just because I made the decision to go outside and be in public.
Sorry someone did that to you. Tbh I think shit like that is pretty self-righteous rather than well-intentioned.
No. 506192
File: 1579728334197.jpg (80.42 KB, 660x535, how-to-make-arms-look-slimmer-…)
>>503772I literally would be happy if my arms weren't so fat. I'm okay with the rest of my body, but godamn my arms are chunky asf while my foreams are twigs. I gave myself an eating disorder & even when I was underweight my arms were still chunky, wtf am i doing wrong? Am I cursed with huge arms & a noodle body? Not only that, I made the mistake of believing the whole toning your arms workout!! My arms never got smaller, in fact they got bigger. Now i'm stuck with half assed muscle that doesn't seem to want to go away. God I know this is ridiculous and over dramatic, but I am so tired of wearing long sleeves and over sized jackets. I just want to have skinny arms & the option to wear any clothing without feeling insecure.
No. 506201
>>506192My 2c probably won't help how you feel, but I think every woman gets taken up a notch with a sleeve even if they've got twig arms.
Sleeveless and tube tops are overrated imo.
No. 506205
>>506202That would hurt anybody. Deep down it's hard to be happy for people who didn't really fight to make sure you were there being happy with them. Your feelings are
valid.
No. 506214
File: 1579732115381.png (53.1 KB, 256x256, upside-down-face.png)
>Anon you forgot to ask me if I wanted to try some
>Ok, do you want some?
>No
I know it's rude to forget to offer someone something, but I just listened to a literal 10 minute rant on how my mom feels unloved because I forgot to ask if she wanted to try the taco sauce (which I offered to my dad and lil bro). I feel like she's on the edge from yesterday when I asked for help filing for a therapist for suicidal thoughts and I told them I didn't feel comfortable telling them why. My mom got mad at that and forced me to admit one reason was uni. She started yelling at me how it was because I was lazy and I wasn't in the best mood so I started crying from that. When she was done she asked for a hug and I told her I wasn't comfortable so that made her angry again so she started slamming the doors shut to calm down. I can see why something small would set her off today.
Also the conversation with her fixed nothing because she only told me 'study more' when I wanted to get a ADD diagnoses because it's come to the point I can't read without a looping 10 second timer telling me to stop day dreaming and if I don't calculate every moment of my life with a timer I waste hours on end. I tried to tell her I was studying, but she didn't seem like a mood for debating. She also now keeps on bringing up how College isn't for everyone around me.
No. 506231
File: 1579736997527.jpg (62.84 KB, 748x602, 1578368832690.jpg)
There's nothing worse for my already dwindling self-esteem than only being able to attract the attentions of ugly, 40 year old men.
I wish I could write it off as being young and dumb and ergo a common target for this stereotype. But I'm in my late 20s and I bring a lot to the table, I'm educated, and I don't take shit. And yet I still get em. I guess my body might be that hideous and I have to accept these as my looksmatch until ugly and obese dudes my age decide I'm not so subhuman anymore, or until they accept that they will never be like ~the chads~ spinning women left and right. Barf. Dating is so fucking frustrating. If I had loving family and available friends maybe I wouldn't bother trying to fill the void. No matter how much I occupy my time with hobbies, volunteering, and distractions I still crave romantic love and companionship and intimacy.
No. 506277
File: 1579753791032.jpg (82.48 KB, 680x680, Og2Orzr.jpg)
The guy who molested me as a child is a tranny now. God has deserted us.
No. 506281
>>506271Wanna switch bods? I like dresses and skirts but my shoulders and small chest makes me look like a dude.
I wish I was living in the 80s when big shoulders were in.
No. 506290
>>506288I feel like I saw a similar scenario posted here a while ago.
Why do you think it makes you feel bad? Did you crush on her at the time? Or is it like a betrayal?
No. 506319
File: 1579772782568.jpeg (430.23 KB, 1093x828, 8FD85FED-1A6C-4D65-83F4-3B92E3…)
I love my brother, I really do. He's the only one I have besides my boyfriend and he's the only person who's been a true friend for me for years, but GOSH lately he keeps criticising everything I like and it's so annoying! He's told me before that when someone is different from him, he feels like they're going against him, and I think that's how he's been feeling towards me lately?
He said that we both hate the same things, but most of what I like he also hates. I bought a new game and he keeps telling me it's crap. I recommended an anime and he said it was crap too. I think because he doesn't like what I like, he's been looking down at me as dumb recently? Ahh it's not that big of a deal but I wish I could just talk about things with him. He's always been the person I admire most in the world, and if I'm being honest I'm scared of going against him because I really don't want him to dislike me. I think he likes it when we agree on everything and like all the same things so he feels like we are the same and I'm not going against him, but that's just not possible.
No. 506321
>>506318Next time you do fly back home for a better reason, just make one of your top priorities to visit his grave or see his urn, not sure how they're going about it. I'm sure they'll appreciate it.
I know I recently had to attend my biological grandmother's funeral who I only met once a year before she passed and I told my dad straight up, "I'm unsure if I'll be able to see her or attend her wake, money is tight for me and I don't want to miss work." And he totally understood and never tried to pressure me to take off or go out. The only people who did pressure me were those who weren't immediate family, so it didn't phase me much.
No. 506333
>>506332Also, him only treating you well when you agree to his stuff is pretty
toxic. And the fact that you are afraid to tell him wat you like suggests that he's been
toxic in the past too.
No. 506335
File: 1579778577450.jpeg (297.32 KB, 750x718, F72FE851-DC64-4194-8CAB-BCEB72…)
TLDR; Almost everyone I grew up with is crazy and it's still hard to wrap my head around
Sometimes I get a little sad that almost all of the people I grew up with and spent my childhood with grew up to be not so great people. It's insane to me how they don't realise what type of people they are.
2 grew up to be 'proud lolicons' , 1 grew up obsessed with Lolita and wanting a Lolita gf so he could be Humbert (he's also trans) , the rest grew up obsessed with instagram, astrology and being 'woke uwu'
I really feel like I've just had so much bad luck with friendship.
My ex best friend is quite an extreme Muslim and just an overall not nice person.
When I was 14, my mum died, and she told me that Allah took her away from me and that we would both go to hell because we weren't Muslims (she was 18 at the time of telling me, I think?) That's bizarre for anyone to say, especially to a literal kid. She would normally act nice to my face but then I'd hear or see her talking bad behind my back which really rubbed me the wrong way. She talked a lot of bad about almost everyone and was very concerned with other people's appearances, despite being average herself.
Along with being a quite extreme Muslim, she was very delusional about this one guy. She had a crush on him for YEARS, but he's so clearly not interested in her and only keeps her around to feed his ego. No matter how many conversations we'd have about him, no matter what I said, she was always so blindly loyal to him and praised his every move. A lot of our conversations would revolve around him, and even though I know it's important to vent sometimes, it was really really boring talking about some dumb guy. He's not a nice person either.
She's more extroverted than I am and has quite a few friends, so she introduced me to that guy because she knew I didn't have many friends and I suppose she wanted us to get along? I was 15 at the time, he was 21, and he was always very sexual with me and it made me super uncomfortable. He's a self-proclaimed lolicon and randomly sent me nudes when we were talking one day. I just ghosted him and told my best friend about it, she was just like 'ok whatever' and continued on being friends with him. I think that was the final straw, honestly. She literally excused his pedophilia, he told her that I was a liar and she believed him without question and everyone in their friendship group just made me out to be some horrible liar when I really wasn't. I think that's when it became clear to me that I cared for her much more than she cared for me and that no matter what, I'd always come second to some greasy lolicon so I just blocked her on everything and deleted all my social media.
He sent me nudes on kik, so I didn't save them, because I thought I could always just look back on our chat and show them if necessary, but I had no idea kik deleted your chat logs after a while so I lost them and of course got framed as a liar with no proof. Sigh. Everyone from back then was really messy and really opened my eyes that some people have no self-awareness, yet I was the one who was antagonised.
The guy she was obsessed with really is a lolcow himself. He's obsessed with Hatsune Miku and Killing Stalking. He literally burnt down a friend's house for no reason other than edgy points. He sent me pictures of the ashes, but it could have burnt down because of another reason and he just lied about doing it himself? He also lied about stabbing a girl from tinder, so he soaked his T-shirt in his female rabbit's period blood and sent pictures of it to me and my ex best friend. He'd always tell me that even though I was 15, I had the body of a 'woman' and would always whine about how I didn't love him like he 'loved' me. Keep in mind that I was 15 at the time and he was 21. I never flirted with him at all. I really don't know if what any of what he told me was the truth or not, but he also said that he went to juvenile prison for stabbing a kid when he was younger with a TINFOIL knife?? Kid apparently didn't die, but he was just really injured. He also sent a video to his ex of him and his then gf having sex. He's probably done a lot more things that I've forgotten about.
Sorry about the length and rambling nature of this, I just really wanted to let it out somewhere. Even though I'm away from those people now, I still feel odd that I literally now have no friends because I had to distance myself from them. They don't realise how odd they are and they always excuse their behaviours. I spent so many years thinking that what they were doing was normal and that I was the weird one. It's still confusing to think about.
No. 506337
>>506335Samefag but her logic was 'I know him better than you and I know he would never do that' and 'if he hasn't even sent a nude to me, why would he send one to you?' He is literally der coomer.
She's tried to get back into contact with me a few times, the latest one a couple months ago on whatsapp because I forgot to delete her number. Some weird message about how she had a bad dream about me and to stay true to myself and keep going?? I didn't open it, ignored it, she saw, probably got annoyed by the rejection and blocked me.
She'd do this quite a few times back when I had Instagram. She'd message me on a random account (she had like, 10 different accounts for stalking purposes) , saw that I wouldn't answer, then blocked again. Rinse and repeat. She's also self-diagnosed herself with BPD. Instagram is one of the worst social media apps and I despise it.
I've never told this fully to anyone before, I just really need to let it out
No. 506348
File: 1579785866933.jpg (166.59 KB, 1280x720, arms.jpg)
>>506206i'm just an average weight for my height, but this is a more accurate representation ( yes i shittyly edited it ).
No. 506357
>>506354If you're the jealous type, she probably thinks you'll respond negatively if you know the truth. It makes sense if you've had arguments that went something like "Why were you spending time with a
guy? He bought you a meal? What the fuck?", or it could even be an instinctual/automatic thing if she had an ex that was like that.
If neither of those things are the case, she might be hiding something.
No. 506364
File: 1579790975518.png (37.34 KB, 300x300, kermit-the-frog-in-love-meme.p…)
>>506316>>506320omg ty :,) I hope on ur birthdays y'all get warm wishes!! it low-key made me tear up
No. 506368
This might be long but I've already resignated that I most likely will not be read, I just need to get this out somewhere because I feel like I'm losing my mind almost.
I started posting my art online a couple months ago, I didn't have any followers at all. I literally couldn't even get 20 people to follow me, and now I have 15k. My art is shitty too, so I have no idea how this even happened to me. I can't stop seeing my art and myself as shit, every time I post ANYTHING whether it be just a personal post, a meme, an art piece, a sketch, I feel immense guilt and paranoia of annoying people and making them realize how shit I actually am. I know this is imposter syndrome and I don't know how to make it better. I also feel really alone, I can't make any friends because of autism but I see all kinds of other artists talk with each other all over my timeline. I guess I don't feel good enough to interact with anybody.
It's affecting my production too. I stopped drawing as much when I started getting attention on my art due to fear of failure. I know I don't have to post every single drawing, but if I complete a drawing that I don't deem postable then I feel like I failed and wasted my time, and if I do draw something that I can post, after I post it I will want to delete it. I just feel like every move is analyzed or something, every flaw is being viewed by everyone. Then, I told myself I would be super productive and draw a lot and improve a lot, have lots of good things to be able to post, for the New Year. It's nearly February and I barely have anything to show for it so I feel like a fuck up and a failure.
I can't bring myself to draw at all anymore. It's not like I don't appreciate the following or don't want it, I'm scared of losing it more than anything. Of everyone realizing that I am just a simple hack and abandoning me. It's all I really have in my life, I live a very sad existence of poverty, disability, and isolation due to family issues and not being able to make friends. I just don't know how to get myself to draw again.
No. 506374
File: 1579794886475.jpeg (105.55 KB, 600x450, E3152BCB-A224-4931-B955-A21BE7…)
>>506368>I most likely will not be readI read you, anon. I'm sure others have too.
Remember that social media is quite
toxic, even if you're just using it for art. If it's really affecting you this badly, I advise to just deactivate your account and delete the app. It's not worth sacrificing your health and fun for a following.
You don't have to offer an explanation as to why to anyone. Put yourself and your health first. Once something that is a hobby begins to become stressful and not fun anymore, I think it's time to step away from it. Take a break from art, delete social media and just concentrate on relaxing. Then, when you're ready again, start drawing!
I'm sure that a big following can be stressful and pressuring on anyone.
>if I complete a drawing that I don't deem postable then I feel like I failed and wasted my timeI think this is another problem that stems from social media and having a big following. No drawing is a waste of time. With every drawing, you improve and learn - even by just a little.
>I'm scared of losing it more than anything. Of everyone realizing that I am just a simple hack and abandoning me.Their thoughts don't matter, because that's not true. And remember, big followings don't last forever. Your enjoyment of art and general health is immensely valuable, more than any following ever could be. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone.
Please put your health first. You'll feel so much better.
No. 506375
>>506370These parents were trying to set you up with their son, and upon realizing your disapproval backpedaled that it was all a "joke" so as to not spook you off.
They don't know a god damn thing about you other than you keep fit from jogging. They're selfishly thinking you'd make good attractive fuckmeat for their precious boy who can't be much of a catch if he's never out jogging with his parents, and is so low on the game that his own dad tries to be his wingman.
Don't stop for them anymore and pretend you're in a hurry.
No. 506386
>>506370I think he backtracked cos he knows it was too much
I hate invasive people like that
No. 506390
>>506375>>506386Yeah, I thought so too. What makes it even worse is that they're from a western country and they're on a vacation in my country (I'm a slav). I just hope they don't dupe another girl into this.
Now that I think about it, it's really creepy.
No. 506394
>>506381I'm in the exact same situation as you. I finish work early, then have absolutely nothing to do for the next couple of hours before I return home!
I know that it's better than being overworked, but it's incredibly boring and time wasting.
Lately when I finish early, I read free books online, and my coworkers think I'm reading something related to work. Maybe try that?
It's better than nothing.
No. 506395
File: 1579797524341.jpeg (398.35 KB, 828x800, 067949C8-152F-45A4-B837-DBCFD7…)
I wish that I could have been a big sister.
I really love children (in a completely wholesome way, I hate when people make jokes about me being a pedo when I say that) and if I had just one wish in the world, it'd be to ensure that every child grows up in a happy and healthy household.
I volunteered at an infants' school for a couple of months, essentially baby sitting 4-5 year olds for a day and helping them with spelling, reading and counting etc. Unfortunately I had to stop because I'm a very sickly person and children, as angelic as they are, are walking bacteria that kept on making me ill. The children I worked with were so polite and kind! Of course some had behavioural issues, but to me, children are just naturally good and deserve happiness, if that makes sense. I hope they don't miss me too much, ahh.
I just feel like I have really strong maternal instincts, I guess? I have the strongest desire to protect children and help them grow up into good people. I really hate when people make me out as weird for this. I'm not sure if I'll become a mother, but if I do I'm sure that I'll enjoy it very much. Anyone who hurts a child deserves to burn in hell. I don't believe in prayers much anymore, but sometimes I just sit down and pray that the children I worked with are happy and healthy and grow up into good people. It's the most rewarding thing I've ever done.
No. 506405
File: 1579798633735.jpg (20.53 KB, 500x380, eMcIWPs.jpg)
>>506318Called my family to tell them I wouldn't be able to go and the first thing they say/assume is that its money related and they offered to pay for my plane ticket.
Theres so many other things too, my job, my cats, theres also the issue of where I'd stay while up there, a hotel is out of the question so I can either sleep in a rental car or on someones floor/couch and…It's just not convenient.
IDK how to tell them in a nice way that I barely know my grandfather and that I'd rather just save my time/money for flying out to visit at a better time.
>>506368Anon, are you me? Because I relate to this so much, I couldn't have said it better myself.
A big art account feature my old account and even though my art was hideous it gave me a lot of followers but also put sooooo much pressure on me, I didn't feel worthy of having that many followers and I burned myself out trying to improve and draw what people wanted instead of just having fun with it.
I ended up deleting my old art account (11k) and made a new generic account thats just selfies and pictures of my hikes and plants, I almost never draw anymore but I found having less of a following actually helped my mental health a bunch and made me feel like much less of a fraud.
I still post and instantly delete or delete very soon after if I feel like a specific picture wont do good but I've been trying to work on giving no shits.
Its really refreshing to hear someone else who struggles with what I do (I'm autistic and have AvPD) so I never reach out or DM anyone. Maybe if I'm feeling brave I comment on something from time to time but otherwise I feel like I always make it awkward.
No. 506413
File: 1579800901884.jpg (32.02 KB, 634x582, 454636.jpg)
I was looking for things to do in my state and they had chocolate festival, but it's a 1 hour drive. I wanna do it, but I don't wanna drive for 2 and half hours in good traffic for like 30 minutes of fun. Even worse my cousins are a 20 minute drive from the event so I'm jealous
No. 506415
File: 1579801457892.gif (875.1 KB, 245x244, EB6C72C3-A3D9-4347-9411-F73CF4…)
I'm over him, but my ex's ears would up and down automatically when he was happy/blushing and I still think it's one of the cutest things ever
No. 506447
I just feel stupid, this is pathetic. I wasn't sure to put this in the confessions thread or here. I'm taking what's supposed to be the easiest/freeform gym course at my college rn since they require PE, but the coach teaching it is different than others. He's implementing structure and is really high strung, even though he thinks he's really nice. He timed our mile today and I am whiny for making excuses but I'm tired today, I hadn't eaten yet, and I had a fucking mental breakdown yesterday so I was the last one done. Plus exercise/athletic shit makes me insecure and feel stupid because I'm so slow and god I feel like a piece of shit. Why try, I'm not even good at it.
I went to the bathroom when the class started so I was already behind when I started running, and felt self-conscious. Then I was just going so slowly and when I realized that, I just felt guilty and doubled down on keeping the same pace. It's better not to try then try and look like a fucking idiot because I'm an out of shape piece of shit, or tear up because I feel so pathetic and like a fat slob. So I just tried to act like I didn't care when I really felt so stupid.
Good grief, the coach just emailed me and said "hope you get some sleep since you said you were 'tired' ", tired in fucking quotation marks since he pulled me aside after class and that was my excuse. I don't want to tell a fucking sob story that I'm actually a fucking mess to a stranger, but dropping a gym class because of this is pathetic. Truly, this shit just happens to me because I'm a retard. I know I'm making excuses and could have tried more, but fuck, I thought that class would be a nice destresser and now the coach thinks I'm a lazy pain in the ass (which is true). I guess I might just drop it next week, but I thought having a class to motivate me to work out instead of sitting in my room all day would be nice.
No. 506456
File: 1579809084083.png (118.56 KB, 1076x1519, A fucking moron.png)
>>506454As soon as you said this he messaged me back with pic related.
What an idiot.
No. 506458
>>506456nta but
>you won't interested in mkek
No. 506461
File: 1579809671448.gif (1.1 MB, 500x250, original.gif)
I got my eeg results back today and the doctor said that they're, well, not good. I'll have to get more tests done and honestly I'm a bit scared since idk yet what could be wrong, if anything.
I just hate the fact that my own family doesn't give a shit about it. I can't say or vent to anybody because no one fucking cares. I just want someone to pat me on the shoulder and say it'll be fine, is that really too much to ask for?
No. 506465
File: 1579810428083.png (108.57 KB, 1080x1150, lol.png)
>>506458It's funny when they're spiraling so hard for damage control in order to get their dicks wet, that grammar and reason get thrown out the window.
He actually tried to gaslight me on this lmao.
Message before this screen for context
>It's a pity you deleted the conversation before asking me out on a date, or even questioning if I was interested. Your other option must have fallen through, that really sucks and I'm sorry to hear that sad emojiWhy not just be transparent at that point? You've lost the lying game dude, the only women who'd forgive this are the type who would accept your audacity as a replacement for your stupidity.
He's not attractive enough to be playing these games.
No. 506467
>>506461i hope they don't find anything too worrying ! hang in there Anon, I understand you're afraid but stressing over this has no use, it's when you get your results that you can have productive thoughts over what to do if there even is anything to do.
fingers crossed !
No. 506472
>>506447Runners are assholes and I'm thoroughly unsurprised. When I was in cross country in high school we had girls on our team cry because some days running was too brutal due to lack of sleep, no food, or just having a rough day. Track was similar but milder. The coaches were male and were often very harsh, and forget using periods as an excuse to perform poorly because they couldn't relate at all.
Your instructor probably has an ego about his pissy little elective course and wants to take it super seriously.
I had women coaches for my water aerobics and weight training courses in college and they were very understanding. The only thing they were harsh about was consistent absences, in which case people were definitely fucking around for an easy grade. They didn't care as long as people showed up and tried.
No. 506562
File: 1579829465492.png (714.21 KB, 1275x747, dumb bitch.PNG)
im so mad at myself! i texted a dude who hasnt texted me back in a whole month but still watches my stories and shit that i hope he has a nice start to his new year uwu. Like why am i such a simp ass bitch? im so mad at myself. I lowkey did this so when he doesnt respond i can FINALLY have the reason to block him (as if i didnt have a reason already smh) and actually find myself true love! So in a way its a good thing…i guess lol
No. 506564
>>506562You should block him even if he responds. Men know what they're doing when they don't strike up a conversation with you for an entire month.
Currently I'm planning a shakeoff from this 40 year old fucker who keeps trying to take me out on these fancy dates. But by god if he isn't texting me and blowing me up with his availability, making sure he's extra careful and respectful of his bullshit. See anon, we deserve men like this but our age and actually attractive lol. Don't settle for being ignored fam, you deserve that true love prince thing.
No. 506582
>>506581>femcel>has had bfsGet on my level, anon. I've pursued many men and been rejected by all.
…but really, why do you feel that way? I'm sure you're actually cute.
No. 506629
>>506587she's got a fountain it looks like she may have hyperthyroid
>>50659514 we got her the fluid but she is still pretty weak. it was so scary. just yesterday she seemed fine.
No. 506737
>>506584update, my cat is back to her normal cat self. and she does have hyperthyroid and is going on meds!
>>506706i totally agree with this. i save money for emergency cat stuff, but i know so many people who don't even take their pets to the vet!
No. 506751
File: 1579897059385.jpeg (37.72 KB, 375x350, 2BEB4D7B-6FAE-4285-9FE1-3FCCFA…)
>asks bf if he would like this one girl if he wasn’t with me and tells him to answer truthfully because curious
>he answers with “maybe”
I got what I asked for, but now I want to die, girls.
No. 506758
File: 1579898767567.png (336.55 KB, 560x560, corona_extra_24pack_m2.png)
The corona virus is gonna kill us all, isn't it
No. 506761
File: 1579898873394.png (10.04 KB, 541x566, fuck.png)
I've been increasingly less patient with my friends because of how childish they are, but one of them definitely crossed the line today. I invited two friends over to my flat (I'm broke and in college) to work on an appointment, and this guy chipped a big chunk of paint off my desk while playing with super glue.
I told him this made me upset that he was this careless with my stuff and he didn't even apologize and just sent a stupid upside down smiling emoji.
This tipped me off the edge and made me leave my friends group chat because I don't want to deal with children anymore (I'm a little older than them)
My flat barely has furniture, and he has the balls to come to my house and do this do the little furniture I have
No. 506765
>>506755You're overreacting. Just because he admits he might be vaguely interested in other people if he wasn't with you doesn't mean anything deep. We're all human and it's normal to maintain a certain objective interest in other people. If he's a good guy this shouldn't make you suicidal.
I don't think you were curious to know the answer. I think this was an act of self-harm. You knew what he would answer and was looking for an excuse to dwell on your insecurities. Do you have reason to be insecure with him?
I know mental illness can fuck with you and I'm no angel in my own relationship but if I was this sensitive I think I'd avoid a committed relationship.
No. 506781
>>506751What's wrong with living alone or living in a cabin in a woods?
You don't value yourself, you literally are living for scrote approval. Of course anything he says about another woman would disturb you because you think it's a confirmation of your low worth.
You self-sabotage with questions like this. Even if he replied "no," I'm certain you'd speculate he was lying to you to spare your feelings.
I get it. But. But, but, but.
Don't show your weaknesses and vulnerabilities to men unless they are years into a committed relationship and are devoted to you. I don't want to be the harbinger of bad news, but if you keep putting ideas in his head about other women and making yourself look insecure, he might see things your way and dump you for these women you view as threats. Ho don't do it!
No. 506783
my close friend moved out of her room in a house and i ended up moving in because the rent is extremely low. two guys live here, one of them is very chill and cool, but the other guy is one of my classmates who i have started to resent. he is a ~nice~ guy, but he seems extremely insecure, has constant bad breath and doesn't have his own opinions.
i have a very busy life and don't have a lot of lectures (the ones i have aren't even mandatory), so i'm not at home that much and barely at school. plus, i will graduate next year. so living here is quite alright, if it was unbearable i would have moved elsewhere.
my problem is that my classmate feels way too comfortable around me. idk why this triggers me so much, but he walks around in boxers and a shirt sometimes and it's.. so disgusting. i've never had any close male friends, but i know that men tend to "act out" when they get comfortable around u and it's so annoying!!
idk what to do, other than to slowly distance myself from him.
No. 506789
>>506755i feel bad he has to put up with this lol. if your boyfriend is the only thing that gives you a reason to live and him saying he
might like another person sends you into a suicidal mania perhaps seek help. tbh if you regularly act like this probably the only reason he hasn't dumped you is that he's scared you'll kys.
No. 506810
File: 1579910688248.png (18.6 KB, 300x250, kwETxOjwQ7-4.png)
god I hate being lonely. I end up placing unfulfillable expectations of understanding and friendship on essentially acquaintances and then feel hurt when then they fail to fulfill them. all just cause I have like one friend lmao. I am so lonely. my life is so pointless i want to die already.
No. 506877
>>506839Hey anon, I can’t link it because I’m on my phone but check out the employment thread here on ot! There’s a good post that I like about interviews in it, and it’s also a nice place to see that lots of people get anxious over interviews! Heck, I just had an interview yesterday and I was super nervous! I’ve done tons of interviews and I’m pretty confident in my skills and how good I can portray myself, but the anxiety never really goes away. It just gets a little bit easier to manage with every interview.
Also, I know people on here shit on reddit but I like to go there to look at interview tips! There’s also some good threads about what questions to ask your interviewer that aren’t industry specific (I keep them all on my phone and pick one or two before I head into an interview all the time now). Just review the company, look up common questions and think about your answers, and practice practice practice! Best of luck anon!
No. 506889
File: 1579931107481.jpg (80.14 KB, 625x685, e.jpg)
I caved and texted him again. I had sex with him on the third date last weekend. I could tell the morning after felt pressed for him to drop me home. The texts were dwindling before that, really. Before he dropped me off I asked him to text me. He managed to text me Monday in brevity. Nothing Tuesday, Wednesday. I texted him yesterday but again his replies just seemed constipated and then he went on to say how he'll be busy next week due to work. The conversation tapers to an end on his note, we never really have a talk to you later or goodbye text exchange. It feels super inadequate.
So I initiated a text with him again tonight because I wanted to show him a piece of furniture I was working on restoring, and I did this jab that was along the lines of "Hey if you still care about me and my pet projects take a look at this lol!"
He commented passive aggressively on "that lead in." We talked a bit about the table and he asked a few questions about what I was doing but got brief again and then ceased. It's like he was hiding from me and trying to get me to only talk about myself. After waiting a bit I texted "Anyways, just thought I'd touch base." And that got him going enough to where he asked if there was an implied message he missed.
It didn't escalate from there. I was straightforward and pickme'd about how I didn't want to press his buttons but I was bummed he wasn't texting much after I asked him to reach out, yet I figured he was either busy or not interested. But to just let me know.
He apologized, said he's definitely been busy and was gonna use this weekend to study for his work project next week. I apologized and thanked him for letting me know and then said I was going to sleep since it was late.
But you know, I shouldn't even be worrying about this. The reason why he had the reaction he did is because he knows what he's doing and he knows it's bullshit. Was I just wanting to hear his excuse, his lie for cutting down the effort now that he had sex with me? I already know his answer based on his actions. Would any man really say he doesn't have a spare 20 seconds in a day for a woman who he really clicked with to check on her? Nah fam.
And anyways, I wouldn't want this in a relationship it would just drive me nuts and hurt my self-esteem.
It's my shit test, but I'm not gonna text him back and he'll probably just slip off radar. Not gonna chase him, but I'm so disappointed. He had me fooled with a couple thoughtful dates and playing up his insecurities card about his looks to tap into my empathy. He seemed to want my trust quickly.
I scheduled a new date with someone else tomorrow out of contempt, but what am I doing? Did I just want it to be real with that particular guy and is that why I'm so mad? Because I feel I got had even if it doesn't matter?
It sucks.
No. 506928
File: 1579949049529.gif (1.79 MB, 354x192, Winnie-the-pooh-out.gif)
I'm going on a business trip over a long weekend soon, and it's going to be my first time on a plane alone. My mom flipped out and kept going on about how irresponsible I was and how much worry it would cause her for me to be that far away on my own.
Then she said something that really disturbed me. She said that if I don't text her often enough during the trip, she'll stop feeding my cat. She immediately started to backpedal by saying she didn't mean it, and that she was just trying to get me to "understand" her worry for me. But the damage was done. I can't believe she basically threatened to kill my cat. I'm going to have someone else watch him instead.
I don't even know how to react. On the one hand, the threat was totally empty. But on the other, she never apologized– like I said, she just backpedaled. I said nothing and moved on with the conversation, but maybe I should have said something. How would you guys react?
No. 506933
>>506932Sorry I phrased that badly. She's not calling me irresponsible because of the trip. She's saying that she's worried something will happen to me on the trip because she thinks I'm irresponsible. How am I supposed to learn how to be responsible if I never get the opportunity to?
She's been to to therapy sporadically in the past, but I think she needs to go on a more regular basis. She seems to have a martyr complex.
No. 506985
>>506937>>506945I'm gonna. I just hate it when certain men play dumb. They try to turn tables and spin everything like women are passive aggressive and clingy because they hate being called out for their shit behavior when we ask for a degree of attention and respect.
I don't think my comments were offensive. I was actually taken aback because I thought
his responses to them were pretty passive aggressive. Kind of like when a teenager does something wrong and when someone pokes at it, they get angry because they don't wanna hear it and they don't care that it happened. They just want you to shut up about it.
If a guy had good intentions on his mind and wanted to continue talking to me, he probably would have taken my comments in jest. Cause they would be interpreted as dramatic and not true to the situation anyway. This guy treated it like a personal attack because he knows he just wants to keep me at length now and he'll never get serious. I feel deep disgust.
No. 506986
Feeling like shit? No problem, I got you.
I had a cute face, cute body, healthy, friends, nice hair, style, a bf, family, nice cats. Depressions, ok, but not that bad.
Then came the drugs. And I started to feel for the first time, realized my whole life was shit, everyone had treated me like shit my whole life. I dont love my bf, i never loved a man, Im actually a lesbian. I had a psychotic breakdown, went in a psych ward, ran away from there, came back more damaged, ran back to my bf, let him fuck me, died a thousand times. Tried to be normal again, and tried to love my bf. Doesnt work. More drugs, I shaved my head, just 50 kg, looking like a classic meth junkie, paranoia, stinky clothings, clothing just a autistic retard would wear, anxiety x10000 the whole day and night. Am to anxious to close my eyes. Ran to my druggie mum who gave me strong opiates, didnt help, ran to my bf back who gave me more drugs that should heal me, didnt help either. Headache so bad I cry and scream the whole day,went to hospitals, because I got epileptic symptoms but they didnt help, im sure they thought i just want drugs or whatever. Feel like a small child and behave like one. Waaaah help me, gib me dis gib mi das.
Traumatised my sister with my behavior, am with my dad right now. But just because I went to the psych ward again and wait to get committed. My ex tells me everyday he still loves me and it gets how it was. My sister tells me Im creepy. Have neurological problems like seeing lights, head feels like exploring, eyes are burning loud sound in my head. I dont wash my self and smoke the whole day.
Im on xanax right now, without I just feel like to do an hero. Bbbut I can't because the drugs told me not to. Now I'm afraid of the death. Pray for me
No. 507092
>>507090I'm okay with how I look, which is ugly to average.
What I'm jealous of is how beautiful people are treated. I hate how gorgeous women get men throwing money, commitment, and promises their way. Everyone's nice to them due to halo effect, cause they must be good people if they're pretty. Friends actively seek to be around them because it boosts their social value as well. They're more likely to be noticed for opportunities, and people think good things of them.
I wish I could have gotten any of that in life. I've worked so hard on other things and it sucks knowing that my looks hold me back.
No. 507102
File: 1579989479392.gif (330.86 KB, 498x448, 7B23C318-DA80-4535-ABFC-17EFD5…)
My Roommates/best friend’s family invited us out to eat but I just felt way too ugly to even go outside today. Maybe it’s because I’m on my period, idk. My acne has flared up and my hair is in knots that I can’t get out…not to mention I already binge ate today. My roommate said “it’s okay just wear a Tee shirt and jeans, you don’t have to wear a full face of make up!” But I feel paranoid that someone from work or school will see me looking like this though. My anxiety has been really high lately and I have no idea why, even at work I’ll be doing things normally and have this huge weight on my chest and it feels like I can’t breathe properly.
No. 507109
File: 1579992715453.jpeg (37.93 KB, 577x375, EEB2F27F-65E1-4BA5-9D7B-E426AA…)
An old friend from highschool messaged me again, and she's probably the coolest person I've met irl but I'm freaking out!
She wants to hang out and I can do that, but I'm so used to only talking to my boyfriend and anons from here. I feel like a complete social retard. I freak out around girls. Maybe because I care about what they think more?
She's a cool and nice person, but I seriously just don't know how to act.
Do I have autism???
I don't know how to fake myself to be 'normal' fully, but I don't trust her enough to completely act myself around her.
No. 507118
>>507116but what do I talk about with her?
Other than casual 'hey how have you been how's work' etc
No. 507129
>>507120>>507121>>507125Thank you anons!
I just find it so energy draining talking to anyone and I don't know how to say no when people ask to hang out
No. 507140
>>506928tbfh if it were me i would cancel my trip and try to rehome the cat out of fear, but i don't expect anyone else to act that way.
i'm very protective of animals but i don't even think i'm overreacting out of that bias. even if she say, threatened to sell your laptop, an inanimate object, she would still be trying to control your behavior by threatening to take or destroy your property, which is
abusive in itself and it's not even on the same level as threatening to starve your cat.
No. 507156
>>506979If you can, consider bringing your lunch and meds there so you can talk to your classmates. It's easier to meet new people in the beginning of the year, before everyone has formed their friend groups.
As for icebreakers, those suck but no getting around them. Try to think of some facts about yourself ahead of time that are fun but not of any depth. For example, maybe you went somewhere cool, fave movie or one you watched recently, etc.
Good luck anon on starting college! I'm sure you'll do fine. Whatever bumps in the road you face, you'll get past them.
No. 507171
File: 1580007922344.jpg (10.02 KB, 240x285, Yoshinari.jpg)
I was wondering, if u guys had the chance to get out of your third world country would you do it? Even though you probably wont be able to achieve your dreams later on? I always wanted to study art abroad but the cost is too great for my family to handle, recently i was offered an opportunity to work overseas ( not really the kind of job i am too uncomfortable with though) and they will provide me a resident permit if i work there for good. I just dont know if i should do it, and give up my dream of being sth i wanted my whole life.
No. 507189
File: 1580014686441.jpg (15.65 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)
I have ordered something online discreetly but I live with my parents they still mock me for ordering online because they say it's unhealthy and addictive to me even though I'm not in my teenager years anymore where I overspent a lot anyway the item will arrive soon where my grandmother lives (my house over there) and I seriously NEED it with me right now it's really personal it doesn't help that I live over fucking seas yikeees
No. 507209
>>507185Eh, I think that's excessive paranoia. The chances of getting infected are very low, and then the chances of dying from infection are still quite low if you're not old and sick to begin with.
I'm off to Japan next week, but I'm not that concerned. I'll wear masks and wash my hands a lot. Not gonna put my life on hold because there's a remote chance I'll get sick.
No. 507230
>>507229Find a nice hobby to partake in that you can build a skill in! Also sign up for freebees every so often to get delivered to your house. I don't know how your financial situation is, but definitely come up with a financial goal or a small savings so you can splurge on an item or a few to enjoy every couple weeks.
There's a couple easy recipes I learned to make when I was agoraphobic and it helped me feel more alive just learning to make better dishes. I also started to play old video games on an emulator and getting farther in the stories helps me keep hopeful. Exercising also is good for me, to see progress in my ability of strength. There's always room for progress, anon. Hopefully you can find that hope as well.
No. 507232
File: 1580028795375.jpeg (30.45 KB, 500x273, 1E31AEDF-1EFB-44D1-B46F-3B4CC3…)
>>503772Idk why I'm still searching for the good in my father when obviously there’s nothing to find there.
He thinks he listens to me but he doesn’t hear me. I tried to explain something pretty easy to understand because he was worried about my anxiety and of course he had to give me his most honest and brutal opinion because it’s always the right one. I feel like I have to excuse myself every single time even for feeling the way I do. It’s exhausting because I love him but I hate the kind of person he is. If he wasn’t my father and just anyone else, I’d hate him from the first moment. And it hurts me because it scares me how real it is, how desperate I feel next to him, how I know someday I would have to leave him and he would be all alone again, as he always was.
But I can’t be someone else just for him. I try my very best everyday to make him happy and it’s tiring, mentally draining. Right now I feel like I’m playing a character, playing someone that’s not me, just because I don’t want to hurt his feelings. And of course I feel dumb when the only thing he can do is to feel and try to be superior to me in any way. He’s so selfish and self-centred, always thinking the way he sees things is the
valid one, not giving me a chance to show him why it could be different.
No. 507250
Visiting America for the first time, in SF coming from Central Europe and jesus this place is so fucked.
Like the homeless people, there are SO MANY and so many seem to be mentally ill, and i mean homeless people are present in my home country too but there are much better systems in place and there are few and far between. And up until now I've never been yelled at and followed by someone homeless. I saw people on public transport with just worn through socks. Outside of visiting Hungary I've never seen homeless in that bad a clothing state. I was watching a shirtless guy dig out something from a bin and desperately eat it while I was sitting in a restaurant and struggling to finish my meal. It was distressing. And I wanted to help somehow but I've also got a sense of self preservation, you know? I'm seeing people in what should be an outright unacceptable state, clearly in need of help and they're being ignored and avoided. I saw a policeman walk up to a homeless woman in a wheelchair telling at passers by and he just kind of have a shooing gesture? Wtf. And it's like I'm supposed to ignore that and enjoy the thin touristy veneer.
Oh, and there was a protest yesterday, an anti abortion one. Also distressing. I've never seen something so hateful so widely supported. It must take a lot of emotional energy living here as a woman /minority because seeing all those signs and the support just drained me. It was so disheartening that it was a prevalent opinion. Back home it's just a given that a woman has the right to decide about her body,and that's where it ends.
And this place is supposed to be the liberal place? I'd hate to see the more conservative States.
Idk, the whole place feels like it's falling apart but it's been given a nice new lick of paint. The government and law seem so overbearing too, the signs are a bit much. Like "it's a Federal Law to give up your seat", isn't it just the nice, expected thing to do? Why does it have to be like a threat? Why do I feel like I'm doing something illegal by just being here?
I always wondered why the Americans romanticised Europe so much and now i see why. I used to think it's just because Europe had more history lol. But this place seems bleak and small pretty decorations can't distract me from it
I just wanted to come and try the fast food I'd always heard about and see all these things I've seen in movies in real life. The small things. But the whole environment here is so off putting that I just want to stay inside till I can leave.
No. 507254
>>507250SF has always been home to an extraordinary amount of homeless. A lot of them refuse services. Because you cant use in a shelter. There's a huge heroin epidemic if you haven't heard.
California has beautiful weather that's another reason for all the homeless there. You realize that that you picked the city with the most homeless outside of maybe LA.
Anyone visiting SF would be advised not to engage them and wear closed toes shoes. It's the sad truth.
Why did you pick San Francisco anyways? It is one of my favorite cities but that shouldn't have been your first American experience probably.
No. 507264
>>507250Went to Florida, Alabama, Louisiana, and passed through some of the upper Midwest (Oregon and Washington State) a few years ago with my family. It's a dizzying experience.
The nature is absolutely phenomenal, it's a real gift to be born there. But walk into any urban area and it's the opposite experience.
I don't know how you can manage to fuck up urban planning to this degree, you need a car to go absolutely everywhere (outside some streetcars) there's almost no place to ride a bicycle (and if you do, you're seen as Literally Hitler by drivers everywhere). Portions are huge, as are the people, there's sugar in everything, there's no cafes or proper restaurants yet people eat out all the time at the trashiest places that look like they haven't seen a mop in a decade. Ads everywhere. Churches and a weird obsession with God in the south, to a lesser degree in the north. The overall tone of the ads and any publication is weirdly condescending and propaganda-like, and these people make fun of Russia and China for being propaganda machines…
Also massive McMansions. People in my country have big homes but not as big as these. I don't even know why you need so much space, what can you possibly put in it. We stayed at an airbnb that was basically an upper floor of one such house where it felt exhausting just going to the bathroom to take a piss.
But the worst part is that it really feels like that song about people living in boxes that all look just the same, outside of some older historical spots like New Orleans (which I would recommend visiting). I would feel so fucking miserable living in a boring swampy ass empty space with nothing but boxy franchises and chains and a whole lot of nothing around me. Especially since we were constantly warned not to go out at night.
These are the people who always asked us if our country is safe (it's in Eastern Europe and therefore we're all bloodthirsty commies I suppose). Here you can walk anywhere at night, you won't get harassed by cholos, random gangster youths and catcallers. Maybe someone will comment that your outfit looks shit but that's it. You feel so trapped all the time, I hated every minute. Now I understand why every teenager owns a car here and people want to go to Europe.
I don't understand, Australia was a way better experience even though the landscape there was ten times worse than the US. How do you fuck up so hard?
No. 507269
>>507229Before I met my boyfriend, video games were honestly my reason to live.
Thinking things like 'I can't kill myself yet because I'll miss this future release of a game I want' really helped me, as cringy as that may sound.
No. 507276
>>507230Thank you anon. What recipes did you learn? I'm agoraphobic too and I think my box-or-frozen-meal diet makes me more depressed.
>>507269Actually I was the same before I met my shitty boyfriend. I should get back in to gaming. You both suggested it. It's not cringy. Or it's not as cringy as suicide. Creation Engine is more dependable than humans to be honest.
No. 507289
File: 1580045832066.png (Spoiler Image,51.79 KB, 798x624, Screenshot-11.png)
i fucking hate my tits so much… and i hate myself for letting them get so bad. as a teen i had an ed so the rapid weight fluctuations probably fucked up the skin, then i had a phase where i didn't wear bras often, then i had a dumber non-binary phase and i know the binding didn't help at all. they're a bit perkier now that they have proper support, but… one is bigger and saggier than the other. i hate it so much, i can put my phone under it and it stays in place. if they both looked like the smaller one i'd be less self conscious. i can't even go braless at home, i feel too disgusting. i know no one has perfect titties but i genuinely hate mine. i cried after my bf tried to compliment me on how much perkier they are now. just reminded me of how ugly they were and still are. i want a fucking breast lift. i'm only 22.
No. 507292
>>507291i guess the part that gets me the most is the "what if" aspect. like, maybe if you didn't develop an ed they wouldn't look so bad now. it wasn't even genetics or anything, it was my own doing, so there's a lot of regret there
i'm a lot more confident in general so i don't care about my boobs as much as i used to. i still get sad and angsty about it from time to time, though
No. 507293
>>507276Yep, frozen dinners will make you feel like shit. I tried to do that when I started becoming afraid of anything that wasn't prepackaged, but it just made me feel terribly worse. I started doing some simple recipes like Japanese beef bowls, chili, macaroni and cheese, lasagna, carnitas, baked chicken, Shepard's pie, and Japanese pork cutlet. Also you don't have to go all out and make everything from scratch, I still buy the sleeves of chili seasoning and frozen vegetables. I think the most time consuming thing on the list is the lasagna because you gotta manually shred the cheese. The pre shredded shut glops up and doesn't completely melt, avoid that shredded stuff with the mac n cheese too, you can rip big chunks of the block cheese and it'll melt perfectly.
Yeah, video games are perfect. I bought myself an old Nintendo DSi and went crazy when I got myself an R4 card. I still haven't gone through at least 1/5th of the ROMs I downloaded. And that's just trying them out, not beating them.
No. 507301
We had to give away a cat a few years ago because he was abandoned by his previous owners. My boyfriend's sister used to live with us so she brought him thinking we were gonna watch him for about three weeks as her friends go on vacation. Well, it turned out to be weeks. On top of that, my boyfriend's sister didn't even take care of the cat, she was barely even home and decided to move into a friend's room, basically making us take care of him. We already had one cat at the time and the cat she gave to us didn't know his boundaries and when to stop eating. We got to a point where he started to realize what food was his and not to eat like a pig, but his sister came over one day and ruined all of the progress. He went back to square one and our cat stopped eating, even when we would separate them during feeding time. It was a dead end and who knows if sister would've came back and ruined all progress again.
My boyfriend, his mom, and I eventually decided we have to give up the cat we took in. I loved that cat, he was so cuddly and friendly, but my boyfriend's sister would basically destroy this cat when my boyfriend and I weren't home because she would overfeed him. It was basically for his own safety, because she's killed another cat before by overfeeding him. My boyfriend and his mom tell me to this day about the cat they had that only lived for 3 years. His sister took him with her when she temporarily moved out and eventually he couldn't even shit in a litter box because he was that obese.
I miss the cat we had, I remember a few days after dropping him off at the animal shelter, I went to go visit him. The first thing he did was jump into my arms. I teared up. A few days later, he was adopted. The family who adopted him gave an update to the shelter's Facebook page a few months afterwards and I was so happy to see how he was doing. The owners also had a dog and a horse and I knew they were perfect for him because he would play rough like a dog.
That was about 4 years ago. I honestly want to check up on the cat is doing. I found the people who adopted him and I think it'll be weird if I added them as friends just because of the cat. They do seem to love him and it just makes me feel happy he's not suffering. Who knows what would've happened to him if my boyfriend's sister just took him with her, wherever she decided to live next. Also, I remember after taking him to the animal shelter, the old owners texted my bfs sister asking how the cat was doing, basically half a year after they abandoned him. Fucking unbelievable.
No. 507314
File: 1580054995458.jpg (35.26 KB, 638x598, FLKbyNu.jpg)
why the fuck is my ex mutuals with all of my friends???? even my friend's siblings?? and my friends are friends with his other ex?? fuck off!!!!!!!!
No. 507316
File: 1580055089044.jpeg (310.95 KB, 901x933, 0D256F52-BEB6-4651-8220-8D0056…)
Bf asked for a picture of me, opened up my front camera, saw how unremarkable looking I am, day ruined.
I have serious self image and confidence issues and although I know it's pathetic, I just don't know how to stop caring. I don't think I ever will. I want to cry whilst typing this, just because I hate the way I look. What an immature thing to be upset about. I'm happiest when I'm not in college, but knowing I have to go back tomorrow, knowing that people will see and make judgements of me, it just makes me want to hide. These confident issues sprout up whenever I have to go out in public again.
I hate that for the rest of our lives we are trapped in just one body.
No. 507327
File: 1580059106836.jpg (64.74 KB, 563x658, 1578847286905.jpg)
I'm kinda scared rn anons.
I met up with this guy a few days ago to have sex, and it was great and all, but I think he tore a hole in my vagina and it hasn't stopped bleeding since. I'm planning on going to the doctor in a few days but I'm scared I'll need to buy medication I can't really afford rn and I'm scared to tell the guy because I'm already embarrassed about some other things that happened that day (had an anxiety attack and started throwing up).
I just want to have a normal sex life, ugh.
No. 507359
File: 1580067980258.png (434.38 KB, 633x634, Screen Shot 2020-01-26 at 19.4…)
I have the most obnoxious coworker. She loves to get into a debate with every single opinion I have.
I was talking about the conorovirus, but she started yapping how the chinese are the healthiest people in the world/live the longest, so whatever they're eating doesn't matter. The fact that the virus has most likely originated from the hideous environment of street markets means nothing to her.
Later I went on to discuss the new Louis Theroux Selling Sex documentary, and how its so sad that basically all girls in sex work have been abused/manipulated in the past and sex doesn't even mean anything to them anymore. But, oh, didn't I know? A vast majority of girls in sex work actually DO love it! They make so much money and love their jobs! Also, the majority of sex workers are college boys— I'm so fucking sick of her sticking her nose in all my conversations and trying to 'one up' me or some shit. You can't even debate her because whatever you say back she just goes 'But that isn't true. Nu-uhhh.'
And those are the more heavy topics, even just stupid non-consequential things, she has an opinion on it, and she knows best. Like, I barely drink fizzy drinks, but when I do, I only drink the diet versions. She'll immediately crane her head round to inform me that didn't I know??? Diet is worse for you than full-fat!- as she drinks her 5th full-fat coke of the day. LIKE FUCK OFF, you're grotesquely obese and commenting on what I'm having? Jeez. I'm just so fed up with her.
No. 507389
File: 1580074050950.jpg (199.58 KB, 670x534, 6548946548.jpg)
>>507264Living in America is fucking dystopian tbh. This country is too fucking big. We never needed this much space. I grew up in a small farming community in the northwest and used to be upset that there was nothing to do but I could walk everywhere and felt very, very safe – also the homeless problem was not nearly as bad, partially because they left for Seattle/Portland and partially because those that stayed were able to get help more easily because the community is small. Now I live in a larger city that isn't even that big and literally one of the main roads in the city that I drive on to get to work is lined with homeless on either side. It's really IS distressing. At work I get people coming in several times a day with items I know they didn't buy, with receipts they clearly dug out of the trash, and part of me wants to just let them steal from us because they clearly need money but I also don't want to perpetuate the drug problem in the area (and I don't want to get fired). I wish I could move to another country tbh but it seems unrealistic.
No. 507398
>>507389There's two types of homeless people and it's people who choose to be homeless and people who don't choose to be homeless
People who don't choose bust their asses trying to find jobs, survive, and keep themselves safe
People who choose to be homeless are the ones stealing, begging and doing petty shit for money
No. 507402
File: 1580075393004.jpeg (18.7 KB, 600x315, E5894C14-D490-4486-B4DD-7F8802…)
I refuse to believe kobe bryant and his daughter is dead. I refuse. I refuse. I refuse.
No. 507403
File: 1580075519666.png (141.6 KB, 872x731, 444.png)
Idk anything about Kobe or the allegations against him
but I hate this ugly contrarian faggot mansbian and I'm glad he's finally getting shit on for something
No. 507438
File: 1580080545062.png (278.23 KB, 372x500, 1568190329437.png)
I kind of wanna spill my life story out for some feedback but I also don't want to be embarassing because this shit ended up too long. maybe another day
No. 507444
>>507403Also, a fellow young woman has died but who cares? Let me insert myself into some shit that is tragic as fuck.
I mean we could say the same, why say you are a "woman" and a "Lesbian" when you could just be a man who cross dresses?
If it's so dangerous to be trans, why be trans?
(>>>2X) No. 507452
File: 1580082894094.jpeg (29.09 KB, 400x293, 515BFC3F-CC6E-4441-BD96-74CDA7…)
y’all are welcome to call me all names I just need a place to vent, I’m one of them filthy illegal DA/C/A kids, I couldn’t afford the renewal fee and had my license suspended. Got pulled over a couple weeks ago my court date is tomorrow and if the judge wishes I could be put in removal process and be sent back to a place I have never been to since I was 6 months old, I am considering killing myself before the people that killed my grandparents and my dad do back in my shithole country tho xoxo
No. 507455
File: 1580083193571.png (60.82 KB, 275x183, A90DA163-5060-4F8D-ABF0-9D801B…)
idk why but Kobe’s death really stings me. hearing him and his 13 y/o daughter dying on the same day just killed me and I’ve never been a fan of basketball or sports in general but I do remember watching a little bit of him playing when I was little and seeing his death on the news fucking hurts cause like…it’s fucking Kobe!!!! Everybody knows him, even if you’re not a basketball fan!!
I feel so horrible for Vanessa, his wife. They’ve been together since they were 17 (I think) and they had a baby girl back in June
No. 507458
My body is dumpy as hell and it infuriates me to no bounds, despite the fact I have been every weight on the spectrum: chubby, muscular, even anorexic levels of thinness (diagnosed). No matter what, I keep fat in my abdominal area, EVEN WHEN FASTING AND RESTRICTING CALORIES, EVEN WHEN WORKING OUT. My abs could show, and I still feel fucking fat. I have a short/wide waist and narrow hips, while they still have some sort of spoon shape. I look like Kate Upton in the torso, minus the tits, or any tits at all. I literally have the worst body type.
Every time I open the web, Instagram, imageboards, you name it, I constantly see women who were blessed with these beautiful thick curves that most don't have to fight too hard to keep. I then have the men in my life compare me to them; I've been accused of "just being lazy" or "eating junk foods" when I was fasting and literally lost my period. It's frustrating because the guy I have a crush on, who's a bit chubby and most people here would call a neckbeard, doesn't even fucking notice me and his follows on Instagram are of girls with tiny waists, and not all of them are unnatural.
I feel so fucking defeated. I couldn't even enjoy porn when I used to watch it (feminist now) because every girl is shaped like a pear or hourglass, and I look like a frumpy toiletpaper tube, and I just knew no guy is every getting up to me.
I get accused of not putting myself out there, but when I do, the guy says he "needs more time to get to know me" which seems reasonable, until he asks out a chick he's only known a week because he's so wildly attracted to her. She's better built every fuckin' time.
No. 507465
>>507452If my little opinion matters anon, you ARE an American citizen.
People who want to send you back are broken and sadistic persons and it's scary that they're in positions of authority.
No. 507471
File: 1580086160338.jpeg (363.65 KB, 2048x1536, 5875D8D1-6094-47E6-881F-DA5505…)
I had the random urge to listen to the Life is Strange menu music today, big mistake. I played the game at the same time as my ex best friend and everything about it reminds me of her. Nostalgia is so bittersweet. All of these random memories just came flooding back.
No. 507473
>>507458>I then have the men in my life compare me to themDitch em, or walk away when they do this sis. It's 2020.
>just knew no guy is every getting up to meThey do. Don't put yourself down.
There's usually someone for everyone anon, but even if you wind up single than to be in bad company who makes you feel like shit about yourself.
No. 507533
>>507250We (Americans) don't travel abroad very often. Less than half of Americans own passports and fewer use them. The country is so giant and each state has it's own culture. It's easy to be a tourist in our own country. The consequence is we don't experience how other countries live, even as tourists, so we don't have much to compare the awful state of our freedums to. That's my theory for (part of) why we continue to put up with it.
We don't want to pay tax or vote for anyone who will put the funds in helpful places. There's a big mentality of "you need to do it yourself, nobody succeeds for free, it's your fault" and the only acceptable form of success being individual prosperity. Not very conducive for a working society. People would rather toss a few bucks to a panhandler and give themselves backpats than to give the same amount as tax to help the community as a whole. One is freedum of choice and the other is gubment theft.
With the accessibility of internet younger people know much more about the world without having to go abroad. They're likely to interact/make friends with people in other countries and learn about living conditions abroad. All of this information is readily available where before the vast majority of people gobbled up our skewed school history books and culture of patriotism. I think it's going to get better in the coming decades.
No. 507535
>>507521lol wot
To echo you, I recently spoke to a person who was disparaging the news for sensationalising these outbreaks; the whole fucking reason they just blow over is BECAUSE of these measures. I’d rather be ‘disappointed’ at bird and swine flu than be living in the post-apocalyptic aftermath of the plague that no one prevented. Personally I’m concerned that the numbers are slowly ticking upwards even if they’re in the low tens, it must be from the recent reading I did about AIDS. We LITERALLY have just lived past the point where somebody became patient zero for this thing, now I’m watching with concern and interest.
No. 507545
>>507250>visits the armpit of the USA>wonders why it sucksWhy do Europeans do this?
Honestly, imo, the best cities to visit in the USA are the ones that aren't directly the coast, whether it be the ocean or the Great Lakes.
Also, movieland America is nothing like real life America, lol. If movie!Canada was like real Canada, there would be much more gun violence and murder sprees. Movie!USA is more people putting the country through rose-tinted lenses because the fantasy is much more appealing than the reality.
Visit St. Louis, MO. It's my favorite place in the country. There's not much to do there but it's better than NYC, Hollywood, DC, SF, and Chicago combined just because it's a nice "normal" tourist spot.
No. 507551
File: 1580104264891.jpg (34.09 KB, 500x327, scary!.jpg)
i'm so paranoid about this coronavirus shit, it has had me trembling all day. i can't find a way to calm down. i'm so scared for all of these people and my family (and not to sound selfish but myself, too). i'm thankful for medicine and quick measures, but…i just hope good news comes of it soon.
No. 507555
>>503772I am the clingiest, insecurest neediest bitch and it makes me absolutely unlovable
This year I want to work on improving myself
No. 507559
>>507545literally every city in the US is like this.
>>507554anon is just bitter you didn't visit the biggest ball of string in her flyover state.
No. 507576
File: 1580111920019.gif (193.07 KB, 480x291, A4BFBFB5-A830-45C3-9996-0D8028…)
Started crying this morning because I don't wanna go college so badly
I hate it so much
No. 507581
>>507542We r literally in the same boat
How about I associate LIS with you instead
Yeah I'll do that don't break my heart anon
No. 507585
>>507471>>507542joining the bittersweet LiS memories train. Except I pulled a Max on my best friend and ghosted her after high school. She was
toxic and I don't regret it but I still wonder what would have happened if we'd stayed best friends.
No. 507586
File: 1580113997114.jpeg (362.11 KB, 1110x1976, E4E83CB1-6451-4B3D-A9CE-FD43F4…)
>>506757>>506765>>506768>>506770>>506776>>506781>>506789Hi anons, I’m okay now. Thank you for your responses. You’re right I was overreacting. I just started my period today when I wasn’t expecting it, probably why I went batshit.
No. 507590
>>507586It's ok anon, it happens to all of us!
I hope you're feeling better now ♥
No. 507597
This isn’t even really venting I don’t think, but I need to write this somewhere and if anybody has any advice, or just words of support that’d be cool. Tomorrow morning I’m going to the police station to talk to the police about my rapist.
Some background: September 2018 I was raped by a stranger who I’d only had a brief conversation with beforehand. I reported it immediately and did all the reports, re-enactments, health tests, swabs, DNA tests, fingerprints everything. I had contact with the police a couple weeks after that maybe, but then nothing from them until November 2019 when they called and said they found the guy and interviewed him but they just released him. I was so angry and upset I didn’t go talk to them right away even though they requested I do. But after the new year I decided to do it to at least ask some questions and hear what they have to say. I don’t want to regret never seeing what they have to say.
So tomorrow I’m going in. Alone. Before I had supper from my partner at the time but I don’t have a good relationship with them anymore. My boyfriend is working. He asked back in November when I told him if I wanted him to go with me but I said no because I don’t want to stress him out. He gets really, scarily angry (at the rapist) when I talk about my rape. So I’m going alone. Yesterday I was wearing a low cut top and my boyfriend told me I shouldn’t wear something like that so the police can’t use that against me. It hurt but it’s true. (Just to clarify my boyfriend doesn’t think low cut tops= rape but he’s worried the police will think so and not take my case seriously, blame me, etc) anyway I was kinda fine until now. I’m getting really nervous tonight.
No. 507636
>>507635He’s so upset you girls aren’t paying him the attention he wants so he’s gonna be obnoxious and rude to punish you all.
Ask him to stop and he’ll get pissy.
No. 507638
>>507636That's
exactly what it is. The other girls are giving him attention but I'm not even lookin at him. He keeps saying obnoxious edgy shit like 'cocaine helps you sleep better' ?? And making random noises wow I hate scrotes
Give them attention, they'll get worse
Give them no attention and they'll still pine for it
Hopefully he'll get tired soon
No. 507644
>>507635Amusing when guys start to act like chimps in the wild. Doing anything to get the female's attentions.
I'd throw a banana at him.
No. 507649
>>507635Just ignore him:
- You don't have to go reee
- He doesn't get validation for his behavior
- No vent needed
No. 507660
My stepdad, who's currently going through a midlife crisis and getting a divorce from my mom, keeps going on tirades about the "younger generation" and millennials having no respect for him. Because unfortunately, he has become one of those older dumbfucks who thinks anything they say is treasured gold. Also that no one, especially not women, should disagree or ever have a right to be angry with them for what's said. He's always right, and everyone else is always wrong. It's not that he never takes responsibility, it's people like ME who never takes responsibility.
I'm so fucking sick of it. I never "Ok boomer"'d him or nothing. Yet all of the sudden he's being a fucking shit to me and whenever I get mad or disagree with him. He's gotta have his diatribe about how I'm an intrinsically disrespectful shit because of "my generation." HEAVEN FORBID though, that I called his generation ignorant once because he gave me out of touch job seeking advice when he thought I could trot my ass down to city hall, hand in my resume, and be handed a job in politics just like that–oh and don't forget to follow up with a phone call to some poor clueless secretary for a listing with thousands of applicants that's sorted by computer software before it even reaches a human!
Based on what he tells me, he's pissed lately because he has juniors on his team for a project and allegedly they're "disrespectful." They must not kowtow to him, and they probably dunk on him because he acts like a miserly geezer who can't handle anything. He thought he'd be in a corporate office by now making six figures, instead companies are giving younger guys with college credentials the promotions while he's still in the field training the rookies, so now he's all bitter and entitled. He's unlikable and based on what he tells me, is one of those power-tripping type leaders who thinks his coworkers don't have to like him.
So he's totally taking his feelings about the situation out on me. I'll never forgive him for some shit he's said to me. At my age he was a coke addict who never went to college and held menial jobs. My mom attempted to marry into not having to work, and was divorced at least two times by the time she was mid 30s–but at least she was college educated.
The truth is I'm so much more advanced than either of them were at my age and yet they can't give me any credit, just criticisms.
No. 507665
>>507642He did it for like a full hour lol
He took breaks from push ups ofc, just kept walking around doing random shit
>>507650Peripheral vision
I was just staring at my phone the whole time
No. 507679
File: 1580134330160.jpg (32.07 KB, 460x308, you died.jpg)
I love my cat to bits but her seemingly endless energy and constant need for entertainment is so tiring sometimes. I play with her everyday, she has toys, boxes, tunnels and shelves to climb on, she wrestles and runs around with my other cat quite often too, but I swear she runs on solar power and only needs to recharge for a couple of hours at night. How can such a tiny animal (she's slightly smaller and skinnier than the average cat) have so much energy? She's only two years old though, so I'm hoping she'll calm down with age.
No. 507713
>>507554Here for work, but i decided to make it a whole trip. And see that's the thing I don't get. You say it's your favourite city, but i don't see how that can be when you see that distressing shit daily. I think it would require an amazing ability to detach and ignore to enjoy yourself here.
And wouldn't this prevalence of homeless indicate an issue with the system as a whole? Like I said I've never seen something this bad anywhere else but really poor countries. But this is a well off country, and it's a well off area. And I'm here eating food that's by default too abundant while people are starving outside. I think it's a matter of the countries priorities and I think they're fucked.
No. 507724
>>507713This entire thread is pissing me off. Europeans are morons if they're judging the quality of a 3+ million square mile country on a single liberal shithole city. "Hurr durr, it's the best because it's "wealthy." There is no real wealth in SanFran. The more money in a city, the shittier it is because it's a tourist trap, and a place people go to find work. They're the most corrupt and the numbers are a reflection of a high cost of living, not actual assets people have to improve the quality of life. That's like saying Moscow represents Russia, or Dubai the UAE.
Homeless are a problem because of drug usage, which is encouraged by our opiate culture. They have no place to recover, because Dems voted out permanent mental health facilities (psych wards). I was 51/50d and most people in there were homeless that were constantly in and out of that hospital because feefee fuckers decided it was unconstitutional to let them permanently reside there. They'll fake a mental breakdown so they'll have a place to stay for 3 days. INB4 "Institutions are corrupt" then fix them instead of getting rid of them entirely.
JESUS FUCKING CHRIST.
No. 507736
I just found out my roommate has a bad cocaine problem and I'm really irritated and thrown off. I respected her a lot because she's older than me with a stable job, smart, good taste, good at cooking, a little chubby but generally takes
great care of herself.
It's starting to feel impossible to find normal people my age in this city (this might apply to every big city in the USA). Everyone's polyamorous, super horny, and addicted to party drugs–which, ok, do whatever you want, I'm not better than them or think they're untouchable degenerates, but it's really alienating and frustrating. I'm in a committed relationship and I hate drugs, I just want to bond with people (especially other women) over mutual interests, without having to get obnoxiously drunk and sit through them ranting about how their 8th tinder hookup of the week was a dud because men are trash yas girl etc. I could go on but I don't want to come off like I'm on my 'not like other girls' high horse about promiscuity or partying, I'm just sad and tired.
No. 507754
File: 1580147712917.png (290.94 KB, 750x366, 1457039183077.png)
I need to go into work early on Wed to talk to my boss. I was promised when i first got hired three months ago 30 hours minimum a week. It's all emailed to me when i got hired. Now i'm getting skimped and working 20-25 hours a week. I am working in a bakery and was the main bake assist, and now they are training someone else other than me and suddenly my hours are getting cut. I texted my boss today about it and told her i cannot live on 25 hours a week, and it wasnt what we agreed on. My spouse is telling me to look for new jobs, but it's so frustrating because i like this job but now they're messing with me. She'll also give us the schedule too late for me to book days at my other job, so i'm screwed this entire week.
Wish me luck on wed, anons. I only work three days this week. It's not enough.
No. 507765
>>507754I gather she's trying to passive-aggressive push you out by creating the situation on purpose so you'll want to quit.
I don't view those circumstances as accidental and I would be so angry.
No. 507816
File: 1580157542693.jpg (186.19 KB, 700x1304, numnumnum.jpg)
>>507800I have no words anon. I'm so sorry. I love you and hope you'll make it through this. Here's a cute cat. I hope you'll feel better.
No. 507865
I hate when people are needy/clingy. I don't consider it the same as affectionate- I think I'm a pretty affectionate person to my family and close friends, but not to the point of being suffocating.
I'm venting about this because m online friend just won't leave me alone. We've talked for a long time, but he still really irritates me. He is SO needy. He's on a completely different timezone to me, yet is always online, always wants to chat.
I dunno, I could absently reblog something cute on tumblr, and he takes that as an invitation to start chatting for hours. I'm introverted af and honestly dont have the stamina/conversational topics to talk for that long. And when I don't reply to him, he starts guilt tripping me! He's a really nice person, and I do enjoy our talks when I'm in the mood, I wouldn't want to lose that friendship- but fucking hell. It feels kinda obsessive at times but I feel that might be too harsh a word.
I've vented about this before here, but lolcow is the one place he can't track me online, I just want to scroll in peace.
No. 507868
>>507862She’s wanted a kid since she was 17 and does not think this is weird. bro and her are highschool sweethearts who have spent a whole of two months with other people. This baby is partly retaliation for bro not proposing yet. She has said she resents his unwillingness to get married and have a family, so forcing it to happen should work.
>>507863Little bro is a gremlin with the biggest ego problem in the country. Anti-intellectual,anti-education, hardcore narcissism that was never corrected cause he’s the youngest. The last 7 years all I can think when I see or hear him is neck up.
No. 507876
>>507872To be fair she said she was on bc but wasn’t as well. It’s both of them. But thanks for telling me how babby gets made.
She has told our mother about the pill jacking and we siblings are not meant to know. Little bro should wrap shit but she shouldn’t deceive the dude she says she loves either. They’re both stupid and both don’t deserve the baby.
No. 507882
>>507876He needed to wear a condom anyway. Hormonal birth control can still fail even if she was honest. Which is probably why most people tend to have a bond or at least like the partner they're fucking raw. Sorry but your brother was being a retarded cumbrain and he happened to shoot his shot into someone mentally ill.
Your whole family should tell him to man the fuck up and strap in his ass for the next 18 years. It's a costly mistake indeed.
No. 507885
>>507882Nobody is on his side or congratulating him on his plans to be an idiot. They have been together for 8 years, she’s not some random. They are both terrible people who do not deserve a baby. That’s the point. Not that either one is stupider than the other.
He’s too dumb to use a rubber, she’s too dumb to see he won’t magically be a dad, both are unhealthy and lazy as shit and this kid is gonna get fucked up. My bro and sil aren’t
victims here.
No. 507887
>>507885You're missing the point. That is, your brother IS more stupid in this situation and he is an abject asshole. You're so vitriolic about this woman who stuck by your familial douchebag for 8 years of her god damn life and yet he never grew up. She's a stupid bitch for not having an abortion and dumping this sad sack, but I suspect one's not over 300 pounds and joyous over an unplanned pregnancy that she will be alone for because they're mentally sound.
What a fucking trainwreck.
No. 507896
>>507887The point is that neither of them have grown up. I feel sorry for her because she isn’t prepared for how shitty bro is going to be. Thinking she’s dumb doesn’t mean we haven’t helped her prepare and aren’t gonna be there to support her when bro inevitably fails because he’s pathetic.
The pregnancy was planned. That’s why her weight is upsetting. Neither have made a single lifestyle adjustment. She just stopped taking bc in secret. That’s not vitriolic it’s what she has told our mother. No different to dudes taking off the condom during sex.
It’s literally a planned saviour baby. The kid is gonna be fucked. The adults both suck but this baby is the one who’s life is gonna be ruined from the moment it’s out.
No. 507904
File: 1580175454792.png (308.12 KB, 500x614, 5af.png)
Sometimes i feel slightly sad about my country's violence/criminality problem and how it affects people, then i remember the child abuse/rape statistics and all the nightmare fuel stories i heard from my friends, family and almost everyone born in this hellhole included myself, then i get fueled by a rage that can only be appeased by seeing how miserable most adults here are. "WOW, why is everyone here SO violent and unstable??, it's almost like they were raised like animals" it's because it's literally like that. I'm sorry, but you don't plant ivy while expecting apple trees you assholes, you literally asked for this, you laughed and wanted to stay ignorant over your own kids suffering and deaths and this is what yall got. "But it's our culture :'(((" then don't fucking cry victim when shit goes down and your actions have consequences, don't fucking cry over "how violent our country is" when you are a feral, violent piece of shit yourself to beings who can't defend themselves and sometimes, can't even talk yet. I have 0 sympathy and everyone but some young people/kids are shit until proven otherwise. I'm sorry for the typos i just can't anymore, everyone is fucking mental here.
No. 507931
>>507904This probably isnt about rural Australia but it totally could be.
>>507926Do you have a fan? Set it up so it’s blowing under a tucked in sheet and hangout in the cool air. Stick some ice blocks under the fan and it will help cool the air down a little.
No. 507948
File: 1580185135426.jpg (27.57 KB, 540x577, internal-screaming-5a5157.jpg)
my dildo came in soft packaging and i wasn't there to get it so my dad just handed it to me, you can DEFINITELY feel it if you know what you're looking for i can only hope he's unaware enough to have not noticed, i really want to die right now
No. 507951
File: 1580185474626.jpg (475.88 KB, 1200x1467, 8KZRojf.jpg)
>>507948LOL.
My worst was that one day I came home from classes and I found out that my sex toys had been touched…she had been in my drawers and washed them.
No. 507952
>>507948I laughed so hard from this anon LMAO.
I have ALSO had this happen to me and luckily my parents are pretty dumb about those kind of things and I passed it off as a perch thing for my bird.
No. 508005
>>508002you make a really good point there, thank you… what sucks is that i didn't care about this before, i was excited to get """old""" because a lot of my female role models are in their 40s-50s. i've never once thought of them as being anything other than beautiful both inside and out, yet here i am losing my shit because coombrains think i'm out of my "prime" just because i'm not 18. but i don't exist to be a fantasy, i exist to be me, and i have trouble reminding myself that sometimes.
i still have a long ways to go before i'm fully confident but i'm trying really hard and i won't let something like this fuck up my progress.
No. 508009
>>508005I can see where those thoughts come from, when I was your age I was in a shitty relationship with one of those pedos who go after barely legal girls. He managed to convince me I was damaged goods and no one would love me once I'm older.
It's been 10 years and I still get hit on. The wall is a meme created by dumb scrotes who want to tie you when you're still young and naive so you won't complain about them. You owe them nothing. If you want a relationship you'll eventually find the right person. If you want to stay single, people will have to accept that. Don't listen to internet cumbrains.
No. 508020
File: 1580204149794.jpg (75.19 KB, 458x458, pic unrelated.jpg)
>>508002>>508007>>508009>>508011thank you all for the kind words/advice, ily anons
i'm about to head to bed but i appreciate it a lot and have taken it to heart, here's to continued self improvement this year
No. 508028
idk where else I could vent about this but here goes. BPDs are the worst pieces of human garbage imaginable. I'm currently in a close relationship with a BPD and after all these years I'm burnt out. I can't take it anymore.
>Every time I meet them they only talk about themselves, their life and their interests. This wouldn't be a problem otherwise but all they do is complain, complain, complain. The negativity is soul-sucking and exhausting. Even when I grey rock them they still keep going like I wasn't even there.
>The love bombing is suffocating and makes me have chills down my spine. When you know the only thing they're trying to do is trying to make you dependable on them and it's all an insincere act, it makes me want to vomit.
>The temper tantrums. Dear god, the temper tantrums. They have NO problem ruining a day with a completely over the top, unnecessary fit. They know I'm stressing out because I have something important to do, and that's when they (figuratively) throw themselves to the floor and start trashing around. They don't care that I'm running late and already have a million things to take care of, I need to pick them up like I was their goddamn mother and take care of them on top of trying to run through my own errands and responsibilities.
>It's always just me. Nobody else has to deal with this. They're the sweetest, most kindest person to everyone else. But because I'm the designated punching bag, I feel so lonely and wondering what I did to deserve this.
>The "friendly insults". They could say the most heinous shit to my face and laugh it off, then get mad when my feelings are hurt. Because they didn't mean that, I'm not allowed to be offended. Of course if I'm teasing even in the most innocuous way possible, they're allowed to have a full blown meltdown over how ~abusive~ I am and ~triggering~ their traumas.
>The suicide baiting. If you ever threaten someone with suicide, you're officially Satan's ballsack. It's probably one of the most hurtful things you could do to someone. They will have to live with the feeling of constant fear in the back of their head. If you don't reply back to their message, they're already conditioned to start freaking out if they should be calling an ambulance to your apartment. It's so fucked up.
>They get so ridiculously mad if I'm feeling low. I can't have problems, I'm their glorious favourite person they built that golden altar inside their mind for! How dare I show traits of mortality! Well guess what, they're actually feeling really physically ill, their world's crumbling, they're such a piece of shit, they need validation and affirmation right the fuck now! Stop moping around and start making them feel better or they'll begin contemplating suicide out loud again!
>And when it's all said and done I know they would dump me the moment someone more fresh and tolerating of their bullshit would walk into their life. It's happened before. I'm of no real value to them. I'm not a person to them. I'm a tool or an object they can project their ideals into.
Phew. Got that out of my system.
No. 508034
>>508028Spent all of this time green texting, when you could’ve used that energy to get rid of the friend.
I don’t feel sorry for you anon.
>>507931Living in Syd straya, but I do feel like I am also living in a sauna.
So hot.
No. 508063
>>508059To me it seems like she's maybe into him and he notices it and that's why he tries to keep her far away cuz he is with you and intends to keep it that way.
Men get Orbiters too and it's as bad for them as for us.
No. 508064
>>508059You honestly made it weird by trying to include someone who you've never really connected or gotten along with, and he knows that.
It was a dumb way to try to prove you're not insecure, he probably thinks you are now because suggesting her was that random. Do they have a history? Who knows, but he's certainly uncomfortable and that's a good sign. If he was cheating he'd probably pounce at the idea to have a legitimate reason to be inviting her around and be in more frequent contact.
You should probably get a compatible photographer though.
No. 508066
>>508064I know it seemed weird but I have encouraged him to hang out with a lot of his friends since he rarely does. Which you know is totally fine if he wants to be an introvert, but he goes through stages where he thinks he has no friends and it's not true, it's just him putting off plans with people who actually DO want to hang. One of his male friends sees me at my work occasionally and asks 'how is ___? I always try to give him a call to hang out!' and I tell him that he was asked about.
>>508063Thankyou haha ypur response has made me feel a little better.
No. 508094
File: 1580224420757.jpeg (41.58 KB, 500x237, 23187F8A-745F-465D-B3DB-BFE19A…)
I’m better off alone though. I was tired of people taking off from me all my happiness and self worth. I was treated like trash by people who meant a lot to me, always dealing with their pessimistic lives and never ending problems.
No. 508137
File: 1580233510100.jpg (33.32 KB, 564x415, 15d8430102c7d03e12669c1fafa147…)
Selling online is so stressful, man.
No. 508139
File: 1580233908794.jpg (34.77 KB, 800x450, thenperish.jpg)
I know I sound like a bitch but dear God do I hate it when people are constantly miserable and feel the need to let everyone know every single day, every hour of their life. All of my friend's very funny millennial humor boils down to saying "I want to die" all the time, coming on VC and groaning and saying shit like "Life is pointless" and complaining about day to day menial tasks and chores. It's not uwu quirky to be a depressed piece of shit, none of them ever try to change their lives and are just comfortable always acting like the world sucks so fucking much. If you're that weak and have to lowkey threaten suicide because your mom dragged you to an IKEA than you might be better off dead.
No. 508143
File: 1580234043369.png (111.2 KB, 610x343, f545066bc90434.png)
I just got a panic attack from watching Ares on Netflix cause seeing students living their lives and going to parties triggered the fact that currently I'm doing nothing with my life because of depression. Imagine crying your eyes out because of that, I'm really a WEAK hoe.
Going to meet my therapist for the first time on Thursday, hopefully it goes well, I'm so done feeling like shit I just wanna get better T__T
No. 508160
File: 1580238433445.jpeg (113.6 KB, 960x683, 5A2A7FAC-9972-4CB4-9375-EA0BA4…)
I don’t think I’ve ever loved anybody in my damn life. It is my biggest fear that I’m the worst kind of defective, I can’t love. I will never experience the one thing that makes life worth living. I only ever loved things, because things are very predictable, I know things’ limits.
Yes I‘m bpdfag The lovebombing is genuine, it’s not an act, I do think you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me and I am intensely afraid to lose you and I will ALWAYS forgive you. But is it true love-I don’t think so, I often believe it is though. Because a feeling so blissful can only be love, right? I’m obsessed with you, addicted to you. It’s not enough that you love me, because love is always conditional, you will cut me off once pushed past your limit. And that’s what I pathologically test, I push you more and more and more, I need you to be obsessed with me enough to put up with this never ending hurdle-jumping.
…I’m not in a relationship or even friendship with anyone and won’t be for awhile. Just therapy. I’m just so lonely and isolated, I’m afraid to open up with anyone, lest I fall in limerance with them and go back to being a fucking curse. Honestly, why live.
No. 508192
>>508160>I’m obsessed with you, addicted to you. It’s not enough that you love meI had a BD boyfriend who loved me in that way and I genuinely think it's ruined me because unless I go after one of your kind, nobody will ever love me that way again. It was exhausting, but who doesn't want to be loved so fully?
He was also an
abusive shit whether or not it came from a place of love so eventually I left his ass. However even after his suicide attempts when we broke up, he eventually went right back to being in the same kind of love when he met someone new, and then again with the girl after her. It was an insult to me but it must be nice to have a heart that can love so much.
Your ability to love endlessly is a special thing, just don't be an an emotional manipulator or constantly test people and maybe you'll find someone you can keep forever.
No. 508233
>>508119An extreme blusher and an extreme 'twitcher'
I remember I got into an argument with a girl once and my whole face started just twitching… it only happens when I'm nervous and it was extremely embarrassing
Blushing I can at least hide somewhat with makeup
No. 508264
>>508254Thank you anon. I am saving up to move out right now, on top of trying to find a full time job. I have money in savings but its only for health/pet emergencies.
My dad’s favorite thing is to scour federal auction websites and once this fucking idiot won two auctions for some stupid fucking jewel bracelets or some shit and it totaled around like $15k (or 20?? idr) and my mom had to take out a loan to cover it back when I was in high school. I don’t even know if its been paid off or not. He hasn’t stopped going on that website and buying luxury watches. Facebook marketplace is his new favorite place to find stupid used shit (we literally have a whopping SEVEN fans that he got off of fb). My student loans were only about 15k but it still took me 2 years of living rent free and still being frugal about frivolous expenses to pay off.
I used to wonder what sort of fucking dumbass fell for the scam that is paying the minimum on your credit card or spending more just because you have a high limit, but it’s my dad. My dad’s that sort of fucking dumbass. Thank god childrens cartoons warned me of the dangers of credit cards when I was young and I always use mine cautiously but what the fuck.
No. 508267
>>508262Thank you anon.
Part of me wants to just break down and cry because it’s such a culturally ingrained thing to be indebted to your parents in my culture, and I do want to support them because they’re good parents but FUCK. I want to support them, not enable them. I don’t know how to get my dad to stop. It’s been like this my whole life. The image of them out on the street or living out of their car makes me so fucking upset and scared.
No. 508281
>>508272Not who you're replying to, but the fucked thing is that teenagers by and large are horrible at making good decisions. No one would argue in good faith that their emotional maturity, logic, and life experience were as good as they were as teens as they are now as adults.
Things that are said harshly aren't necessarily false. She doesn't have a damn clue. It's fucking disgusting, legal or not that age gap is morally repulsive and selfish. She deserves to be making sweet relationship memories with boys on her level at her age. Someone who asks her to the dances and be involved in her social circle.
The nerve of this creep.
No. 508284
File: 1580259810601.jpg (32.49 KB, 569x398, MW-CY795_age_ga_MG_20141110170…)
>>508259Because of hormones and underdeveloped (at that stage) brain, teens simply can't be in egalitarian relationship with an adult (especially one who is 25+ yo). There's always massive power unbalance at play. At that age, she should be focusing on her studies, on discovering her identity, sexuality (with guys/girls who are at the same stage in life and brain development as she is), thinking about her future, not have the most important years of her life completely dominated by old man. Ask him to not make decisions using his dick for once in his life, and think about the fact that he is basically stealing that girl's youth. If he absolutely can't empathize, show him statistics in pic rel. There's a good reason why in all of history most people would marry/procreate with someone their own age.
No. 508292
>>508285It's better to be alone than with him
You'll find someone better
Just end it
No. 508350
Kinda long but I am really hurting and needing to post right now so idc.
Ive been overweight most of my life. Was constantly put down, bullied and had passive aggressive comments made towards me about my weight even by family. When i got a little older I started binging and purging cycles, and frequent periods of starvation(which never actually amde me lose any weight) and then FINALLY when I was 26 I was able to start getting healthier and losing weight by exercising and dieting, but HEALTHILY. Calorie counting at a deficit, and doing HIIT, running and elliptical workouts 30 minutes, 5 times a week. It was rough at first, my body was still trying to hold on to the fat and I was having heart palpitations randomly and almost passing out during the day at work.
I met a Dutch guy and went to visit him for a few months and I felt so much better. We walked everywhere, biked, went to very active places like museums and places that had obstacle courses and fun stuff to do like that. The food was so much better(im american). So much cleaner. I wasnt starving myself at all and it was great. But I had to come back to America. I was still trying to work out when i came back. But I started eating more. My hormones were insane due to the birth control I had recently started taking. I slowly started to gain weight back. I started being less careful with what I ate. I got a new job which makes me exhausted. I slowly stopped working out.
Im 5'5 and in 4 years I now weigh close to 200, rather than the 130ish I weighed when I was in the Netherlands. Ive always been very insecure and introverted and hate having my picture taken. I try not to inconvenience people because everyone loves taking pictures so much so I usually just stay home. I dont want anyone to feel they cant be free to do whatever.
Long story short, I went out with my family for my nieces birthday, and my brother in law took photos. And Im right in the front of one sitting at a table. He put it on facebook. I cant stop crying. At first I felt so much anger at him but I know its my fault. I just had the hardest workout Ive had in at least 3 years. Im so scared Im going to spiral into an eating disorder again but at this point Id rather fucking die than look like this. I dont know what im gong to do.
No. 508390
>>508285This is the death spiral of a relationship. Anon, if he'd rather be with his friends every free second instead of you, then there's something very wrong with that. You don't deserve that treatment.
You're already alone, being single at this point would mean at least you've got a chance to search for someone who wants to give you the time of day. Don't waste your time when this guy has already shown you his cards on how he intends to treat you.
No. 508393
>>508285I had a uni friend like that she was 23 and her fiance was 28. He does gaming and youtube for a living ffs. He was such a lazy shit too, she did all the washing up and everything while all he did was stream. Never took breaks and she said it used to piss her off. While she worked part time and did uni. All he did was eat, fart, nap and make stupid gaming videos.
Don't know if theyre still together but its a piss take. I wish men would fuck off with these games.
No. 508412
>>508410I feel the exact same way anon. The beauty standards here are hideous, people are so vacuous and rude. I’ve not had any friends since high school and I don’t click with anybody either. I live in the Scottish countryside, and although it can be pretty, Its boring as fuck- anyone I could potentially be friends with are the people I went to high school with and didn’t talk to for 6 years so that’s out of the question.
I’d love to live somewhere warm we’re you can wear summery clothes all the time. I do feel like this country is in a constant state of depression due to the lack of sun.
No. 508419
>>508412>people are so vacuous and rude>>508415>trashy rude people who hate me>>508416>It's full of thick idiots Consider that you might actually just assholes or snobs. It's really hard to make friends as an adult even not in the countryside, but if you all have problems with everyone around you then you might actually be the problem. There's no way all of you are just this unlucky.
If you can travel to clubs, workshops or events then do so. You have to put yourself out there and be interesting to others if you want anyone to be interested in you.
No. 508425
>>508419>There's no way all of you are just this unlucky.You'd be surprised, anon. Some people really are just unlucky, in the UK I know that if you don't fit in anywhere you're kind of doomed. Do you live in the UK?
>travel to events, go to clubsNo clubs other than sports ones in my area and I don't own a car. Trying to save money too. Regarding events, only ones I can think of that somewhat line with my interests are anime cons. But I think going to one of those by yourself as a female is a recipe for disaster and I know what most people there are genuinely like. Some people just don't fit in. It doesn't mean we're snobby, although I'm sure some people who complain about this are, you're not an antagonist for simply not clicking with anyone. I'm friendly to people, but I know I can't force friendships.
No. 508450
File: 1580315135908.jpeg (47.23 KB, 440x310, 24CD4B9C-1162-4AB7-85EF-4A3B1B…)
Guy unmatched me probably because I live at home and don’t make a lot of money. Feels kind of bad. Sorry that living in California is fuck-off expensive. RIP.
No. 508462
>>508410>>508416I grew up in a suburb of one of the biggest UK cities and I hated it. I now live in a rural farming town and I couldn't be happier. Since moving here three years ago, I was always made to feet welcome and for the first time since school, I have friends.
If you think where you live is shit, then join a community group and do something about it. People that live in the countryside aren't stupid or simple, sometimes it can be demoralising to live in an isolated location where there isn't much work.
No. 508463
File: 1580318168585.jpg (36.57 KB, 680x340, 8dd.jpg)
I hate where I currently live so fucking much and the only thing keeping me sane is knowing that I'll finally have the chance to move somewhere better in August/September. I seriously cannot wait to get the fuck out of this dump, it makes me so miserable being in this shitty tiny prison cell that gets no fucking sunlight. I can't stop counting the days and looking at cute furniture and home decor and planning everything for my new place. I'm really excited to have a space I can personalize and make my own since I can't really do that with where I live now. Ugh the summer feels like an eternity away, just get me the fuck out of here already!
No. 508480
>>508477>>508470Kek, oversensitive aren't you lot? I am not diagnosed with bpd. I wasn't even referring to anons here, I was only venting because a man who forced me to be his girlfriend was the only person who thought I have bpd.
He:
>cut himself for some random girl >had anger issues>very stereotyping >rudeWhich honestly sums up every single anti bpd sperg. And the anti bpd sperg subreddit has narcissistic assholes. Doesn't mean I can't see an attention whore in a lot of bpds, but same could be said for antis.
No. 508481
>>508477Also
>monstersTake your pills you loony.
No. 508487
File: 1580327193478.jpeg (101.25 KB, 772x600, D_qG6TRUYAApYbc.jpeg)
I got uninvited to my best friend's wedding because his fiance hates me and thinks I'm a homewrecker. I literally got them the reception venue, they are having the reception at my stepdad's club at a discount and I was UNINVITED from the wedding.
No. 508488
>>508487This sounds like the plot to My Best Friend's Wedding (my sympathies, super cool of them to get your family discount and
then uninvite you)
No. 508493
>>507865tbh you gotta say something or it won't ever stop. something like, "hey, listen. i do like talking to you, but i'm just not that sociable and at times i feel pressured to reply. it makes me not want to talk to you, which is sad, because i like our talks otherwise. i just need a little space sometimes, you know?"
if he doesn't respond well, then he's not mature enough to respect you and your friendship
No. 508498
>>508195>>508198honestly, anons on here are pretty nice about it. if the person is genuinely dedicated to getting better, people tend to not have a problem with them and can be more compassionate.
as a bpdfag, it obviously doesn't feel good to read posts from anons talking about how they hate bpds, but it's almost always coming from someone who was hurt badly by one. so i understand and don't mind them
No. 508505
File: 1580330301178.jpeg (41.9 KB, 648x472, E5578958-331C-4541-8001-84A742…)
I’m pretty sure I have TMJ and my jaw has been hurting for several weeks now but today is really bad. I singed up for health insurance but it’s gonna take a while to get approved, let alone to see a doctor (I’m a burger) so it looks like I’m gonna be in pain for awhile. I know they’re exercises and remedies to relieve the pain but I’m not sure if they truly work.
This fucking sucks.
No. 508533
>>508469>>508480Allright, I'll bite here. I'm a woman (obviously) and I had my life absolutely ruined by someone with BPD. I'm not going to go into details because I'm still paranoid over this person somehow finding this thread and figuring out it's me, but it's the basic BPD rump you always hear with the favorite person targeting, splitting, isolating, suicide baiting and so on. I've also met 3 other diagnosed BPDs and so far two of them have actually gotten better after getting years of therapy, but one of them is still a close call to the worst person I've met in my life. I'm still traumatized by my encounters and I have a very hard time being empathetic even though "they didn't mean it" as I'm still ~
triggered~ by the memories and probably will have permanent trust&self-image issues and chronic depression. Certain
triggers send me into a panic attack and/or cause me to dissociate.
To me the "please be kind and understanding uwu" mindset is similar to how people talk down to relatives of alcoholics how "they just need to understand that alcoholism is an illness". It still doesn't excuse any of what I experienced. Like mentioned before, NPDs and ASPDs are universally recognized as predatory beasts, but BPDs are supposedly a completely different story because "they feel bad".
>I was only venting because a man who forced me to be his girlfriend was the only person who thought I have bpd.To be 100% honest judging by your spergy posts I don't think he only "thought" it.
No. 508534
>>508404Your moral code affects how you interact with other people. If your moral code results in causing harm to others and you're not willing to bend some rules in order to prevent that, then other people are not the issue.
A big example: any moral code being more important than the well being of other people is the backbone of corrupt religious institutions.
No. 508540
>>508533> To be 100% honest judging by your spergy posts I don't think he only "thought" it.Kek, this is the guy who threatened to blackmail me if I wouldn't be his girlfriend. But sure, I can see how you would think this, I'd say the same if I were you, negative as fuck.
It's funny how you don't get the point. This bipolar ass dude is bpd as fuck, like you are (ok I am being a hypocrite but I don't really mean it) and like any other person who is
toxic as fuck and on a bpd witchunt. Stop being a hypocrite, all mental illnesses suck and they're all on a spectrum. I doubt every single bpd fag is shit and had it not be for spergers and projectors, I too would not know just like the normies wtf bpd is. I rathwr want people to be openly bpd, at least they have treatment. Maybe you need some too, for diagnosing me based on 2 posts.
t. PTSD fag in recovery
No. 508541
File: 1580336164058.png (715.29 KB, 640x800, captain trips by any other nam…)
>>508536Captain Trips is slang for the virus that kills everyone in Stephen King's book The Stand. A lot of people online are using it as another nickname for Corona-Chan.
No. 508545
>>508533I'm so confused by people who claimed to have met repeated people with BPD or any other personality disorder. I'm 25 and know a fair amount of people, but I've never met anyone whose claimed to have a personality disorder. I guess there are some people I could speculate having one but I'm not an expert.
Also even if people say they have BPD, it could be possible they are pulling things out of their ass, especially with how trendy mental illness is these days. I wouldn't believe someone had BPD unless I saw their papers with my own eyes. Still, different professionals will give the same people different diagnoses. It's a crapshoot.
No. 508552
>>508533>”they feel bad”that’s the thing, they don’t even. they feel bad that they lost something and receive less attention when someone gets fed up and leaves, but they don’t actually genuinely give a shit about how they hurt someone. every time they say they do it turns into an “
i feel so bad because of how
i treated you and
i’m a piece of shit and it’s all about
me and how terrible
i am!”
back in high school my best friend was an untreated BPD sugar baby who blamed me for “allowing her to be raped” because i wasn’t awake to answer her facebook messenger call at 1 AM. ever since then anytime someone admits to having BPD i distance myself for my own damn sake, it’s not worth a potential friendship when the risk of them lashing out at you for nothing is so high.
No. 508562
>>508560someone clearly didn’t read the entire thread. what you just said is literally what someone was complaining about a few posts ago, which is that for example when alcoholics are… alcoholics, people tell their family members that they should be more compassionate because it’s a disease.
we know it’s a fucking disease, that doesn’t mean people can’t be held accountable for the shit they do. the reason bpd is “vilified” is because people with bpd tend to be really fucking good at hurting people, and that’s the end of it. just because it’s hard for you to accept doesn’t make it untrue. deal with it.
No. 508569
>>508560they have a
victim complex, look at the way they respond when you question them
>>508562they behave like aggressive men. they never question their own actions or wonder why they let themselves be "abused" by "BPDfags" for so long.
No. 508572
>>508562people with diseases
can't be held accountable for many things, anon, get over yourself.
No. 508603
>>508560Funny that these people who somehow constantly run into borderlines don't realize it takes a certain kinds of person to gravitate toward pwbpd.
>inb4 victim blamingNa, you can't blame your abysmal self-esteem and current mental issues on shitty exes forever while taking no personal responsibility.
No. 508635
I'm so fucking bad with computers. I'm doing stuff for uni, but my laptop keeps telling me my starter disk is full.
Half the starter disk of my Mac is filled with 'Other' - how do I clear this other? I look up, and it says I have to delete caches via the finder, but deleting certain caches will make my laptop unusable? What? Also, according to internet strangers, the caches are apparently slowing down my laptop, but they make websites faster from already having the data? Theres apparently apps you can download to clear it for you, but they're expensive, and people say they are worthless scams that don't actually do anything.
I bought an external hard drive a year ago and moved all my pictures/videos/audio there in a lame attempt to fix this problem, but according to my laptop that did nothing in terms of space on the starter disk. I feel like such dumb bitch, I have no idea what todo. I can't download uni stuff anymore because it's full! I feel like I'm going mad.
No. 508646
File: 1580353230468.png (202.98 KB, 503x334, vyCzlU1.png)
same anon as
>>505699situation update:
first: my brother openly admits to almost fighting a dude since he's not drinking anymore and he doesnt feel control. my mom and sisters laugh it off. my brother is now vague posting and out right trying to provoke ppl to fight him (along with out right making fun of his ex) cuz he's not drinking to our knowledge and he's just now back on his meds. so i am hoping they help him get back on track yet.. here's the thing. of course, he is still going out w/ his friends and this happened WHILE OUT WITH HIS FRIENDS. the friend who was also w/ him at the time would have also fought the dude or let my brother do so. only reason it didnt turn into a fight was cuz the dude left after that.
i hate his friends. they are scum bags and i wish he wouldnt hang out with them. i know if he COMES BACK TO LIVE WITH US LIKE MY MOM THINKS HE SHOULD AND SOMEHOW IS TRYING TO CONVINCE MY GRANDMA THE SAME.
second my mom tries to convince me that him living here is a good idea, again. despite me reminding her that it is not a good idea for him to be here or let alone w/ my grandma's declining health.
she stops talking to me then tells me she's going to bed when i tell her the reality of the situation and how i dont think it's safe or an improvement. along with me telling her she doesnt live here, she only comes here for money and that she is only just NOW giving a shit to pay attention to what's going w/ my brother despite along w/ her continued enablism.
him having a job did not stop his alcoholism before it wouldnt stop it then. he would go to work high but not drunk thank god yet after work he would leave instantly to go out. him having a job is what WORSENED it because he had money to give to people for beer or whatever he desired. HELL MY MOM DID THAT FOR HIM MORE THEN ONCE. i also told her that but it didnt seem to go thru my mom's pea brain anyway.
which is why i am super super uneasy and concerned. along with the current impulse control issue of trying to fight people.
on top of this, i just learned (today and i am pissed. our other issue is doctors appointments that are scheduled w/o my knowledge super early so she wont be there when my alarm goes off around 10 am) my grandma never went to the consult about them filling in the compression fracture in her t12 because she convinced her doctor to she didnt need it.(she had a previous surgery l1-l5 surgery no joke) so she is now complaining about being in pain and i am worried we are gonna end in the ER then in the hospital where she will be given no choice to have another surgery. which she will try to refuse and i wont be able to take care of her if she does and she will try to convince herself she can stay home and be fine w/o it. not only is her health on a huge decline, including declining mental health as my grandma is now becoming senile with time on top of her thinking of not wanting anyone to be burdened w/ her health and thinking she can still be independent despite it not working out when i wasn't living here. her wanting to kick out my brother was the most clear with reality thought. which is why my mom is trying to manipulate her lol.
and lastly: the friend hasn't bothered to speak to me and honestly i hope it stays that way unless it's an apology
No. 508655
File: 1580354447483.jpeg (84.85 KB, 750x908, AA751937-6C26-48B2-9229-F3658F…)
I just fucked up my only friendship I have because I’ve been lonely lately and craving human affection. I’ve been through so many shitty relationships and I’ve never grown from them properly so I have all of these bad habits of getting attention by flirting or teasing or thinking I’m worthless so I feel like giving my body away is such an easy cop out to do instead of being a normal person and I feel like I cant even form a stable relationship. It sucks even more because he’s genuinely nice but now he feels as though I’m just messing with him because I’m bored instead of liking him and he’s asking for space because he knows how I get. But I really have no one else to talk to and I just hate feeling so alone I’ve even thought of texting my semi kind ex about this problem and how I should take my mind off of it. Yet, I just can’t, I was such an asshole to him in the past and I feel like my dumb problems should just stay inside but I hate how I feel like if I don’t talk to someone I’ll just be stuck and I’ll break down because of how frustrating it is to know that you fucked yourself over for other men and now I have nothing to show for it aside from being fucking weird and unstable when it comes to dating. I just wanted a hug and someone to be able to rant with but I can’t even do that without fucking myself up and making the other person feel like shit. I just wanted warmth gfdi
No. 508668
File: 1580357299544.jpg (68.89 KB, 702x960, FB_IMG_1580356680836.jpg)
A girl I know has been nonstop vagueposting about her health issues and saying things like "if we're close friends I'll tell you but respect me if I don't because it's private" and I just want to shout for the whole world to hear "IT'S CHLAMYDIA. SHE HAS CHLAMYDIA."
No. 508683
In the mood to read a trainwreck? Just had a guy verbally berate me over text and then block me because I softly refused a second "date" with him. It's a bullet dodged as far as I'm concerned, but his victimhood rustles me.
I started talking to him a week ago, I found him off a dating site. His profile said he was looking for a serious relationship, his pictures seemed to show someone who was my type and it said he was into bodybuilding (he was chubby but built in those pictures). My first red flags were the selfies he sent me. Looked like he took lessons from the Myspace book of fat girl angles, and he wasn't including his body. Then in the background it looked like there was excessive junk and clutter, like a normal person might be embarrassed or at least try to clean the area so as to not look sloppy. He was being kinda cheap with arranging our first date too. He wanted me to drive out to him (~30 minutes) to meet at Boomer McDonald's (Applebee's). I got him to agree to a steakhouse 15 minutes away from me.
Date night. I roll up and the guy is about several inches shorter than he said on his profile, and about 100 pounds heavier than his selfies with zero muscle. Wore some machine faded Steelers jersey that looked ten years old (we don't live anywhere near Philadelphia and they weren't playing wtf). Oh and that nice head of hair in his profile? Shaved completely bald and he was hiding under a beanie! Claims he fried his hair off from bleaching, but I could see his balding pattern and yeah nah. Another lie. The doofus also didn't bother to make reservations, so we wound up waiting outside for 45 minutes just for a table. Wouldn't this impress you farmers? /s I should've walked away but of course the "GiVe ThE gUy A cHaNcE!11!!!!" conditioning from my cool girl days crept up and I felt guilty for the sod.
I humored him during the time spent waiting outside. He proceeded to open up about all his vulnerabilities and situationships (red flag, this creates a false sense of intimacy and trust). He had lots of colorful bullshit to try to sell me, like how ~he lost 100 pounds in one month once from a liquid diet~ really guise! Felt like saying he should try to replicate that again soon lmao.
We got our table. He went on to say he was currently "in between" jobs due to workplace drama from friends regarding his recent ex. Allegedly this ex had drained his bank account of his inheritance from his deceased mother and had played him in just every which way. Do tell man!
He proceeded to tell me how his ex was a stripper and that he had used $90k from his mother's property to help buy her a home, a car, and luxury goods. He whipped out his phone to show me all the harassing texts they sent each other, a raging voicemail from her (meth anger), and apparently a bad review one of the friends wrote on the stripclub's facebook page in retaliation on his behalf. One of the texts the stripper sent him basically called him out for being a gigantic fucking moron by confusing their transactional relationship with a real one. Clearly they were never bf/gf, this bumbling idiot was just easily infatuated by the idea that he could have a stripper as arm candy and she exploited his delusion. As is her job. He then told me about his "mentally stunted, creepy 40 year old roommate" who supposedly was a bible thumper, didn't pay rent, and would listen in whenever he had his stripper over. He showed me a pic of this roommate but honestly the guy looked like a normal 30-something and was actually more attractive (I think tubby was just threatened by him stealing away his stripper lol). But why did he have to leave his old job over this, and why would his own friends at said job have abandoned him over a stripper who so blatantly did him wrong? He couldn't explain it well and I don't remember his excuse. In reality he was no victim and his friends probably thought he was a retard after learning the truth too. I bet they thought it was fucked up that he felt entitled to this woman after trying to ingratiate himself with all those flashy gifts. IF what he claims he gave her is to be believed.
I ordered an expensive cut of steak, and he ordered himself a cheap sandwich. At least he paid the bill. By the end of the two hour dinner fiasco, I gave him a pity hug and thanked him for the time before driving home.
He texted me throughout the week, which I largely ignored and hoped he would get the message of disinterest (wrong). Monday he sent me a text asking if I wanted spaghetti or chicken alfredo, cause the second date would totally be him cooking at his house. I meant to block but I forgot, so I left it on read.
He texted me again tonight and asked if I had ghosted. My cool girl guilt felt I owed him an explanation (I didn't), but I said politely how I don't do second dates at men's houses and how that's usually a sign of wanting sex. I didn't even know him after all. Even if I didn't think he was a lying loser, his house still looked filthy just from selfies and I wouldn't consume anything cooked in it.
He retorted that it wasn't his intention to come off as wanting sex, of course he wouldn't try with me unless I wanted it, but anyways he was very strapped financially, you see…he couldn't afford to take me out on another chain steakhouse date. But! He really just wanted to cook with me guise!
I knew better.
So I replied that as nice as he had been, that maybe due to his financial and emotional circumstances that I was not a good fit for this chapter in his life at the moment. Because he couldn't offer to me what I expected.
>"Thank you. I appreciate that."
I breathed a sigh of relief.
Ten minutes later.
>"THANK YOU FOR WASTING MY TIME. YOU WOMEN PROVE TO ME THAT YOUR ALL THE SAME. YOUR JUST LOOKING TO USE GOOD MEN LIKE ME, YOUR AFTER US FINANCIALLY AND THE SECOND WE CANT OFFER YOU THAT YOU WONT EVEN GIVE US A CHANCE. YOUR A FEMINIST? WOMEN LIKE YOU CANT RESPECT US AND YOU NEVER GIVE US A CHANCE THEN WONDER WHY WE ARE ALL 'PIGS.' ENJOY YOUR LIFE."
He blocked me before I could respond, "Sorry you're taking this so negatively. I will enjoy my life. Best wishes."
I just…really hate this guy lmao. Can you imagine having such a victim complex? Like was I supposed to feel valued and prioritized by this uggo by him offering a $5 meal at his hovel? Because I am such a beautiful woman with accomplishments (his words), that I deserved that low effort shit? Meanwhile he allegedly spent upwards of $90k on some ho who he claims treated him like shit from day one?
This is why you don't even show kindness to losers, they'll drag you with them through the mud if they think they can get a punch in on you. I wish there was a notification system for women so we could send out memos about broke losers, and rapists, and assholes.
No. 508711
>>508576I dont feel like reading all your shit, I am pretty sure you are either a narc, have bpd yourself or have some shizoid traits. Maybe it's aspergers though.
You probably show zero compassion towards all those people in your life and instead of taking responsibility you just blame their bpd, if they even have it.
No. 508717
Hi I’m
>>507597Here’s an update if anybody cares. It went ok I guess. The rapist wasn’t arrested or anything. The police claim they need an arrest warrant to arrest somebody. Which doesn’t make sense to me since police constantly just arrest people on the spot if they’re caught in a crime/admit to a crime right?? The rapist’s story of course was different from the truth, however I’m baffled because he STILL admitted to raping me. It’s in a different way. He claims I agreed at first to have sex with him with a condom but then during sex he took it off and continues and that’s why I became angry. But like dude that would still be rape. What a moron.
Anyway I pointed out several facts to the police about his story that just don’t make any scientific/logical sense that prove he’s lying. 1. He says he took off the condom and continued having sex with me but that makes no sense because right after the rape I had a vagina exam and the doctor said there was no DNA, sperm, semen, male fluids whatever. (He raped me with a condom so that’s consistent with my account) and 2. He said I demanded money from him afterwards. I guess as some kind of blackmail. But that also makes no goddamn sense because the truth is he gave me money afterwards as like a bribe for me not to tell the police, but I Immediately gave the money to the police and told them. Why would I demand money from this dude and then just give it to the police? He must have been counting on me pocketing it and not telling the cops about it.
Kinda makes me pissed that he had a year to think of a story and this is the crap he comes up with.
No. 508727
>>507090>>507091>>507092Idk, Maybe this sounds like a joke to you, but I have always been treated as ´beautiful´ Since i’ve grown up and i‘m pretty insecure about it. (i don’t view myself as such, but the classical beauty ideals and people say so).
I have an internalized bias against ´beautiful´ people as well, for the same reasons you guys are talking about.
And then there is the constant awkwardness of being perceived as someone who fits these descriptions.
Been in a lot of situations where you feel that distrust or glorification other people have towards you and to me it‘s kind of distressing and exhausting.
Apparently it is easy to grow up like that, thinking you‘re something special and get validation from that kind of shit so to avoid it I‘m constantly underachieving to the point of self sabotage
No. 508759
i'm the
>>508498 bpdfag and wanted to say something else since this is still going for some reason
obviously it'd be nice to see some nuance from both sides, but… to all the bpds getting upset at those who hate them: stop. i'm sure it hurts, but policing how others talk about/view their abuse just to soothe your ego by saying "we're not all like that" is just playing into the "bpds only care about themselves" thing.
what's important is that YOU know that. maybe you don't abuse people, but abuse from bpds is common, even if they didn't "mean it." if people hold a black-and-white view of bpds, just don't associate with them, for your sake and theirs. they've been hurt badly and it'd be fucked up to insist they see me as the one exception. people are allowed to see your bpd as a red flag, and yes, to also see it as a dealbreaker (i personally wouldn't ever knowingly associate with an npd/aspd, for example). it sucks but keep up with your treatment and focus on the people in your life who are more understanding.
sorry for the dumb post it just irks me to see this shit over and over
No. 508768
>>508760Evidently you all need to hear a balanced perspective because this is one of the numerous spergs I've seen in the past month specifically about bpd/antibpd.
I really hope you guys got it out of your systems and this shit won't crop up anytime soon again.
>>508759Based post. Anons are taking things way too personally. As if we all don't have something farmers bitch about and make us feel bad, but we can't start a fight over it every time!
No. 508771
>>508727You sound like a very not nice person.
I
was conventionally attractive, but I broke out and for health reasons had to shave my hair off, now no one calls me ugly but I sure do have insecurities and know full well no one is finding me pretty anymore.
I'd prefer to be conventionally attractive. Yes you don't know if to trust people, especially guys, but you
truly think that's a
valid problem in life? It's easy to know after a while if a guy wants you for you or for your looks, maybe you're just dense like your reply suggests. When I was conventionally attractive, I did feel like people sometimes overlooked my personality for my looks etc but the benefits out way the cons. I wonder what kind of a person you are, to see someone express insecurities about their looks, and then go 'well I'm actually hot and it's not that easy guise.' Let me guess, you also go to poor or homeless people and tell them being rich is actually hard? Everything has it's problems, but being beautiful is not as hard as being ugly, what world do you live in? If you'd prefer to be ugly, make yourself ugly.
If you're having such an uwu hard life frum being sooo purty - DON'T BE PRETTY. It's a choice. Shave your hair off, eat like shit, gain weight and get acne. Then you won't have to deal with these umu such hard pwoblems you have because you'll be ugly.
No. 508779
>>508765idk what to tell you anon but you sound young so please take care of your body and find a way to eat enough.
Why won't your dad let you cook?
I'm going through something similar but i cook my own dinners and eat at uni mostly.
No. 508787
>>508771Those attractive people who complain about being attractive would only do so until they actually
became unattractive.
I used to think i was fairly attractive, too, anon until i started losing my hair. I have other body issues which are medical related so i don't feel like disclosing those but they're also visible, and they're are making me feel like a freak.
But all of this has taught me to
1. Be grateful that i still have a fairly healthy, functioning body, cause i know that i could lose any part of it really, whether to disease, accident whatever.
2. I should stop reducing myself to my looks. When i started losing my hair i told myself that i at least like my x,y,z but then i thought to myself ok what if i no longer have those? Am i not a worthy person then? This is something all of us women do because we
are being reduced to our looks every day.
I'm trying to work on accepting the fact that i'm just not that attractive anymore and that that makes me somewhat invisible to society. It's difficult, especially for someone who's inherently shy and insecure but if i don't learn to cope i'll just destroy myself.
Wish you the best, anon.
>>508777This is so true. I used to have extremely long, wavy hair and so many guys would stare but once i got a short cut all the eyes were gone.
Although i didn't cut my hair voluntarily i still enjoy not getting attention from old scrots.
No. 508796
>>508793oh fuck i feel you on a personal level, anon. truly i do. i still clean up after my own mother on a regular basis but my dad’s so bad i don’t even try to help. it’s sad because they’re good people but every time i want to get rid of old shit they make up some dumb reason to keep it, even though it’s sitting in the basement collecting dust for the 19 years we’ve lived here.
i hope you can hang onto your sanity and get out of there ASAP into a space you have control over. idk about you, but this has left me with a compulsion to keep my room extremely clean at all times, and i’m kinda glad for it.
No. 508799
File: 1580410520039.png (136.88 KB, 473x469, borderline.PNG)
>>508540anon, same exact thing happened to me. where was he from? i swear it could be the same guy. guy who hated BPDfags with a passion (allegedly based on his past experiences with them) insisted i was BPD, while he cut himself
for me, suicide baited me when things didn't go his way, lovebombed, then would send me torrents of hateful messages, telling me to kill myself bc i felt uncomfortable/scared and wanted to stop talking to him, all while insisting that i was the one with BPD. i displayed none of the symptoms (also, i've been to many mental health professionals over 13+ years and i do not have it), yet i was told repeatedly by this man, yelling and threatening to kill himself because i didn't want to be with him, that i appear to be the one that has BPD.
virulently anti-BPD people seem to project a lot. what anons ITT don't realize is that BPD is literally being weaponized against women for any reason. like, any unfavorable, "frustrating" or negative reaction a woman has is said to be due to BPD. it's a favorite among misogynistic men. it's the new hysteria. if you browse the manosphere, you'll see BPD brought up a lot. it's perfect because not only has it drummed up very specific hatred since it's said to be lifelong and incurable, but there's also a very convenient 3:1 diagnosis ratio between women and men (which i believe to be inflated because women are more often victimized than men in general, and i think poor coping or being overly emotional at all is confused for BPD), so it's a great way for them to feel their misogyny is legitimized. i think a lot of anons posting are buying into this barely veiled misogyny tbh.
>>508735i agree with you to some extent. look at the way onision weaponizes a false diagnosis against a young girl miles more mature than he ever could be, uses it against her and ayalla. it's all just another flavor of crazymaking, but even worse, because these anti-BPD people are pretty rabid, and again, insist these people have no chance of improving. i don't know what's up with anons in this thread but i think people jump on the "BPDfags are evil everytime and everyone is a
victim of them!" bandwagon a lot. a lot of people with bpd don't seem to have it. a lot of the symptoms are shared with people who are just poorly coping or still trying to recover from abuse. i also think a lot of young people are just generally unstable and chaotic, and that's pretty ramped up when young people are coping with abuse or dysfunction. i don't know how people even expect abuse
victims and people who grow up in dysfunctional environments to not be dysfunctional and unstable? it only makes sense to me.
>>508549that's not true. a lot of young men in particular know what BPD is now. it's a "crazy ex gf" meme, essentially.
No. 508801
>>508771Oh shit, I did not intend to whine about my ~hard life~ Or take the other anons credibility at all, I actually meant it like some people are suspicious about you when you look pretty because of well „pretty people always getting what they want“ and such.
you’re right, the pros weigh out the cons and being conventionally attractive gives you some advantages in lots of situations. But you have to feel comfortable with that or the benefits are not so beneficial at all. I personally hate it when people treat others in favor of others according to looks. I think there are lots of different factors which make Someone pretty or not, but our society is judgemental as fuck and the grass is always greener on the other side.
And there are way too many ˋgood looking´ assholes who get away with shit because people put them on a pedestral.
>to see someone express insecurities about their looks, and then go 'well I'm actually hot and it's not that easy guise.'fuck. If it came off this way maybe I truly am a bit dense
No. 508815
>>508805I can cosign this. Being attractive is good if you are safely hidden away from the general public, but essentially it's a neon sign above your head when it comes to attracting unwanted attention. (which subsequently makes you unsafe in terms of being "targeted" by strange men)
I also think all women are pretty and cute and it's just a matter of how you dress and wear your hair and makeup. Figuring out what suits your face and body can be a challenge. You kinda see more artistic women who incidentally look great on social media, this is related: good fashion sense and a knack for figuring out what is aesthetically pleasing is just as important as what you're born with.
Also a very important factor in
feeling attractive is keeping away from misogynist men and women who nitpick and insult every inch of you due to their own personality issues.
Hearing criticism can knock even a beautiful woman's confidence; it's a verbal attack even if it seems petty.
So getting away from hateful people is a very important factor to consider.
No. 508818
>>508533You are right, anon. I can relate to you a lot. I'm not looking to
trigger any bpdfags with this post, this is just venting.
My first boyfriend had BPD. He's really the only one person with this illness I've ever met, so I don't have any opinion on people with BPD specifically. I've also made some mistakes over the course of our relationship. The main one would be ignoring his extreme clinginess. I found it flattering that an attractive guy was into me, and I didn't talk with any of my friends about it (he was trying to isolate me, thankfully it didn't completely work out). One thing I found really frustrating about this is how his family reacted to his actions. Long story short, he's tried to kill my cat and he crushed her leg when I was trying to break up with him, he also self-harmed in front of me, all in the span of an hour. The very next day his mom called me, crying that I should take him back. She knew that he's hurt my cat and himself, but she still believed that ~it's just his illness~. He's done plenty of other shit too, I don't want to list all of it. My point is, because of his enabling family he was never forced to improve, and he has never taken responsibility for his actions. I wanted to report him for stalking (he was sending me hundreds of messages, coming to my house and classes constantly, etc.), but his mother and brother literally begged me and even offered money to not do that. They pushed the responsibility for his actions on me, because I wasn't mentally ill (even tho I was 6 years younger than him). I hate the enabling people with mental illnesses or addictions get, yeah, I get that their life is much harder, but that doesn't make their behaviour any less shitty.
>>508559>kekekekekso fucking cringe lol. c'mon girl.
No. 508834
File: 1580417607081.jpeg (53.21 KB, 512x290, B7F2BD72-6248-464B-8F1A-78A092…)
>>508818Jesus can we at least agree that male BPDs are irredeemable and the worst?
No. 508877
>>508874I don't mean any offense as I also have a heavy flow but I've never heard of someone stacking pads before either, so I don't blame her for being bewildered.
Have you ever been to a gyno about it? It's probably nothing to worry but excessive bleeding can also be a symptom of hidden conditions so it wouldn't hurt to just check.
No. 508894
File: 1580429305817.gif (200 KB, 220x165, ugh.gif)
>>508892yeah it's hard to explain via typing but the way she was telling me I shouldn't be doing it was so condescending, imagine this gif with her saying like "thats so weird I've NEVER heard of that wtf surely its not THAT heavy, seriously I can't believe you actually do that"…bruh just lemme use the damn pads
I'm definitely dragging this out too much but everytime I've been on since I just think about this weird discussion we had
No. 508900
>>508894You can do the same next time she does something unfamiliar to you anon, it'll be payback. Or if you're close you can just tell her it upset you
Thanks for explaining the stacking, I really did think you meant on top of each other!
No. 508924
File: 1580435774129.jpg (44.17 KB, 460x606, 71UAqSwxOsL._SY606_.jpg)
I just felt like i ruined and wasted every opportunity i had because of my fear and anxiousness. I remembered having the chance to live and work overseas or to study overseas and the thought of leaving my comfort zone and have to face financial compensations scared me to the point of no return. I just want to be stronger and be more decisive abt my choices, because leaving my country is something i wanted my whole life not only to better my life but provide a better future for my parents as well.
No. 508928
>>508904You didn't screw anything up, it's not your fault.
If he stops talking to you after you were intimate, that only tells you what he was really after, and what kind of person he is.
No. 508965
>>503772>perfect house, great roommate. >great upstairs neighbors. >they movenew ones. help them move their shit, they fight the whole time, but who doesn't while moving. seem normal.
>girl never leaves house>ever>i have never seen her car movecar is gone this morning, good for you!!! come home at 9 and full fucking blown fights, i shut the grates.
>who is upstairs, and who is dog>fuck loud sex uugghhh No. 508997
>>508876anon this made me double take because i was in the exact same position as you… if it helps any, i really thought i was a lost cause and didn't even deserve to be happy. at 20 i was a NEET terrified of going outside, at 21 i got a bit better about leaving the house/talking to people but was still very depressed and coping poorly. i'm 22 now and i made such a turnaround i'm still in shock.
i hope this doesn't seem like i'm flexing on you anon, just want you to know there is always hope for a brighter future. idk if you want suggestions, but the first step for me getting better was going to group therapy. it was intensive out patient, so almost every day for 5 weeks, iirc. it drilled a lot of useful coping skills into me and gave me a much needed support group, i made lasting friends with some of the people in it. once i was happier/more stable i startef doing things i enjoyed that were also fulfilling. for me this was voluteering at an animal rescue, and attending a local art class.
don't give up anon, so many people want to see you succeed and be happy. that goes for me as well, despite being a rando on an imageboard. i wish you the absolute best
No. 509001
File: 1580457731210.jpg (103.89 KB, 1200x675, grump.jpg)
I want to ask a question to a group who subscribe to a certain political ideology, about the texts they base themselves on, but their subreddit is pure alt right cancer and I'm never going to get a real answer there. I don't know who else to ask. God damn it.
No. 509054
>>508454Do you also live with him?
Sometimes I don't know how to deal with it I get so angry and disgusted.
No. 509063
>>509058sending hugs, my dad was the same way, he was never verbally or physically
abusive to me or my siblings but he always looked at us with extreme apathy and didn't care what happened to us, nevr kissed or hugged us, never smiled or cried just looked at us blankly without emotion
No. 509097
File: 1580489104649.jpg (27.24 KB, 400x298, tumblr_inline_mpn2bfP5OI1qz4rg…)
I need to vent this out somewhere because I can't speak to anybody I know about this. Sorry for the incoming wall.
I always intended on getting a degree in mechanical engineering but now that I'm in the process of actually obtaining the degree I feel like I made the wrong choice. For starters, I'm way too retarded to handle this kind of course load and because I'm a serial procrastinator I always put off studying which is a death sentence with a major like this. I'm only in my first semester too, which is embarrassing as fuck, like my dumb ass seriously couldn't even handle one semester? Ugh.
But school aside, mainly I'm starting to think that I don't actually want to work as an engineer for the rest of my life. I really enjoy mechanical things and have always wanted to work with cars or aircraft since I was a kid, but I'm the hands on type. I like to take things apart and fix them and put them back together, not doing highly theoretical shit. I was researching into trade jobs and the more I think about it, the more I want to go into a trade. I read up on aircraft mechanic careers and it appeals to me so much more than anything else I've heard about. Initially I thought, OK, once I graduate with my bachelor's, I'll move back home and go to trade school to get an associate's degree. At the very least I feel like it's a good decision to have a bachelor's to fall back on, right? But the thought of having to sludge through this for another five semesters sounds miserable, and part of me is saying why even bother with university if I'm just gonna go to trade school anyway?
I feel so ashamed for wanting to drop out of university. Even typing it makes me feel so worthless. My parents are immigrants and they always emphasized the importance of working hard and going to a good school and getting a nice white collar job with status like a doctor or lawyer or engineer. I spent so long obsessing over finding a career path to get me the most money but if I'm being honest with myself all of those sound miserable to me.
I just don't know what to do. I'm not sure if I genuinely want to drop out and learn a trade or if I'm just throwing a temper tantrum because I'm a lazy NEET at heart who doesn't want to put effort into achieving anything worthwhile. I think I'm such a stupid and unmotivated person that no matter what I try to do, I'll just fail.
And a huge part of why the thought of dropping out bothers me so much is that I'm an international student who went out of her way to move out of her home country to go to university. I'd feel like such a fucking loser if I came back home with my tail between my legs after raising such a fuss about going to another country. At least I can use the excuse that my courses were hard because they're in my third language, but still… Did I seriously waste all this time with visas and immigration bullshit just to run back to my home country? I want to cry. I feel like such a fucking failure.
No. 509111
>>509076what is the % of people that see your tits vs that see your face and clothed body huh?
think about this, also am sure your tits are perfectly ok.
sincerely, profoundly ugly bitch w nice tits that have been seen by no-one but me.
No. 509115
>>509111I want people who see me naked to get turned on by me, not being driven away because of granny tits on a 28 year old.
They look like shit while clothed too, every bra looks stupid, I can't wear low cut tops, they are almost Tuna-tier ugly
Thanks for trying to be uplifting kind anons but I just hate this part of my body and I have nobody I can go to with this kind of autism
No. 509117
>>509115I hope i can make you feel better then: i have tubular breasts which is a literal deformity. My breasts aren't properly developed and look like that of a teen's who's just entered puberty-but just worse.
I'm terrified of the idea of getting intimate cause there's no way anyone would be attracted them, except if they have a fetish or some shit, which would be creepy rather than flattering.
I often cry myself to sleep because of it, especially when my friends discuss boobs and bras. I would do everything to have normal round breasts, even if they are tiny.
No. 509221
>>509171Truth.
The last time I had sex he sucked my tits and I have the same tits as you from what it sounds anon. Then he fucked me good from behind? He didn't care.
Slept with a girl before today too and she was smaller. She didn't care?
During sex people really do not care. When they're in the moment and getting some, people don't care. You gotta be real nit picky to be like that.
Porn is just an act.
No. 509264
File: 1580528969076.gif (1.97 MB, 380x285, source.gif)
I'm on OkCupid just for some funsies and it appears that I've swiped left so many times that I'm now getting into some pretty weird looking dudes. Ugly motherfuckers. It's almost like dating sites have an algorithm to put the least offensive fuckers first so they won't scare us women off with the quickness.
How can any woman ever feel so bad about her looks knowing these goblins exist and actually think quite highly of themselves! Oh my goodness ladies, they don't deserve us.
No. 509285
Dewormed my cat as usual, but today he really put up a fight (usually I can just stick it in his mouth and he swallows, but today he kept spitting it up). When I finally got him to swallow, he puked immediately, then another three times after that. He's never thrown up before in the time I've had him, so I was pretty concerned. Left him alone until dinner, he went to the kitchen, ate a little, and threw up again.
He's in the living room looking out the window and acting normal otherwise, but I'm worried about him. I found cat vomit in the kitchen a few days ago but assumed it was my more recent rescue, now I'm starting to think it was him all along and that he's really sick. There's nowhere to take him until Monday.
No. 509301
>>503772Was making pizza with my boyfriend and his parents and suddenly his father notes that there's very little toppings on my side. Again basically telling me I should gain weight and I really hope he stops making comments like that.
I also got bit pretty hard by my boyfriends cat. None of it really pierced my skin much but I'm now slightly paranoid about infection so that's great.
No. 509303
>>509298When did I ever imply that I’m indifferent to voting? I’ll vote for him if he wins the primary. I just find his supporters fucking annoying.
>>509295Lol okay. Simply finding Bernie supporters annoying is gonna make Trump win again. Nice logic there, anon.
>>509296I know. Not proud of feeling that way either.
No. 509327
>>509319My dad used to visit and send money to his far relative who sat in prison for murdering his wife. He used to even defend him.
They don't care, they really don't.
No. 509333
Diaspora are so cancerous and are the biggest race baiters ever.
https://youtu.be/ITkmF-ICiv0Like I am sure they're just pretending to be Japanese/Korean and not just Asian…It's not her battle anyways considering she's larping as a weeb too.
No. 509334
>>508755Thanks. And thanks to all the others who support me before.
According to the police he wasn’t locked up until a trial because “he’s not a danger to the public” I guess women aren’t “the public” so it doesn’t matter if he raped more.
No. 509365
>>509348Lmao
The rage over these ugly ass shoes.
Because they’re hideous and any adult woman wearing that shit into their mid twenties prolly needs to sort out their life choices. They’re ugly and don’t suit anyone. Especially even more so if you’re overweight with big ass legs.
Deal
No. 509369
>>509348Because come your mid twenties and you’re trying to pull of that teen insta thot look you’re try hard.
And It’s even worse when people think they’re all 90s and edgy when majority of people who wear them don’t even remember the 90s and we’re born in like 2002.
Even so, they’re ugly shoes. That’s all there is to it.
No. 509373
>>509370They do.
All the spazzy people in units wear them. Filas look like the type of shoes people wear when you’re trying to learn to walk again after someone shoved you out a window.
Spastic shoes
No. 509378
>>509359So many anons here are such spergs when it comes to age. I just hope they're very young and not mid/late twenties themselves. Speaking as an almost 29 yo and I feel happier and more confident than ever. My only regret is not working harder in school, I finally graduated with a master's degree last year but I could have done so much better.
Back to the topic, I don't own Fila shoes but if I went out in the real world and spoke about how 23 is "too old" to wear them everyone would think I'm retarded and rightly so, kek.
No. 509391
>>509365how is that exclusively a teen thing though? i see a lot of women well into their twenties wearing them and looking good in them. you just want to, for some reason, claim only teens should be allowed to wear them despite them being worn by both groups of girls.
>And It’s even worse when people think they’re all 90s and edgy when majority of people who wear them don’t even remember the 90s and we’re born in like 2002. so naturally, that means the people who do remember them can't wear them? so no one is allowed to be nostalgic because teen egirls also indulge in that trend? you realize a lot of insta thots are like, 23-29, right? they're casual sneakers. what's next, no one can wear any style of vans or converse over the age of 18? women over the age of 23 can't wear sexy dresses because it's for teen ethots only? like ??
and like most trends, it's less about your age and more about your body shape, body type and overall look. they look fine on waifish girls regardless of their age.
No. 509396
I'm seriously considering killing myself or disappearing tonight.
I have bipolar disorder and BPD, both of which over the last 3 years (when I fell pregnant) I have tried desperately to overcome in any way possible. Pregnancy was actually amazing for me, and whatever effect it had on me seemed to linger through early motherhood (potentially because I breastfed). Now I'm 2 years PP and suddenly reverted quite dramatically back to how I was before. Everything is backsliding and I don't seem to be able to stop it.
Now I'm sat here thinking about what a toxic person I actually am to be close to. Every best friend I have had was used for what they provided and though they would not struggle to move on from the friendship once the situation changed (like if I moved city, which I have done semi-regularly) I would, staying angry for months or years at their lack of desire to stay in touch. I am not in touch with any extended family except one cousin (for various reasons that are not my fault) but my close family is very fractured, and that is very much down to me. My bipolar and subsequent BPD kicked in quite young, and it took a decade to get any help at all for it, in which time my behaviour tore my family apart. My sister is still very angry at me for it, and at my mum for the way she chose to handle it, but chooses not to express it but to avoid me (and to an extent my mum) instead. I find it hard to make friends and even harder to keep them, as I am intense/all or nothing thanks to BPD.
I have a fiance who I have been with for 5 years and did not struggle staying faithful to him until a month or so ago, when I met a man I actually connected with. One symptom of bipolar I always struggled with is manic hypersexuality, and whenever I drink I trigger myself in every possible way. I keep going out drinking with this guy because it's scratching the itch I have been slapping at for the last 3 years - I am mentally unwell and keeping it at bay takes so much effort, part of me is desperate to let go. But I can't. I'll ruin my life, my daughter's life, wreck my family, lose everything I've worked so hard for. Thankfully I've created a healthy loving relationship with my daughter and I think she is the only person I've ever managed that with, which I am deeply thankful for. But will that last, if I can't stay well? Am I destined to become a failure at motherhood too? If that happens I will have nothing left to live for. So I'm wondering whether I should just cut my losses now - at least if I am dead before I ruin everything she will have nothing to hate me for. People are so understanding of mental illness unless someone acts in a mentally ill way.
I wish I had never been born.
No. 509402
>>5093961. don't kill yourself
2. stop using your labels as a crutch to do shitty behavior, you're ruining it for the others who dindu.
3. go to the doctor and start your treatment plan
4. cut ties with that scrote you're having a connection with
5. steer away from bad habits and fulfill the days with healthy goals.
I'm proud of you that you took care of your daughter btw. Good luck.
No. 509404
>>509401What the fuck? Can you read?
>>509371Good vent. I think the same about Korean fashion but it's not as bad as jfash was at least. I especially regret liking gyaru ever. Lolita is cute but only on cartoon girls, when the Japanese girls or gaijins wear lolita it looks so unproportional, same goes for fast fashion, but we're talking about le burando that costs 1000s of euros just for a few pieces. Larme kei worn by Japanese girls is a hit or miss. I like Japanese fashion very much in anime, even irl but only if it's subtle. It used to annoy the hell out of me to see on photos a 40 something kg girl at 154 cm having thick ass calves just because her clothes are shit.
No. 509410
>>509366I don't know what fila shoes are, post pics? (I know I'm repeating myself)
In hospitals people wear white sneakers, even doctors. It's comfy.
@ young farmers: We're all losers here to be honest regardless of age, why discriminate your future self I wonder.
No. 509421
File: 1580577171873.jpg (255.29 KB, 1080x1350, 42483501df2f9ddb91ecfde13a59db…)
>>509410there are a bunch of different styles. they're just usually chunky shoes.
No. 509425
>>509421Oh yeah those, I alreqdy knew what fila is, but didn't know
this was fila when you say fila.
I'm not butthurt about OP since I'm contained with being old, but I think she's just saying that these sneakers are ugly, and if you're a grown woman you should know this already. I kinda find them ugly as well, the spikes underneath I mean. But I'd wear them at work.
I'm not referring to OP specifically but I am convinced the majority here is too young(as in underage).
No. 509434
>>509431bitch how are any of those comfy? they're cute though. or maybe i have ptsd from the birkenstock ones since i wore docs a few days back and they raped the back of my feet literally (deep open wound with puss oozes out)
I wish we could just have clean soft floors with nothing to bump against and be bare feet
No. 509458
>>509403Thanks for that super helpful comment. What do you suggest anon, shall I shove my daughter back up my fanny? Retard. At least I'm trying to be better.
>>509402Please know that I am so reluctant to hide behind labels for my behaviour, but I have to accept that it does influence what I do. I don't use it to avoid taking responsibility for them IRL.
No. 509463
The hatred of bpd people on this website made me so paranoid i wonder if
>>509461 is actually
>>509458 trying to be a martyr or that anon is just retarded
No. 509501
>>509498Yeah 1 or 2 anons would, and the other 10 would (you) those 2 anons with scrote insults and death threats. Feels good to be a hypocritical woman slutshaming others. Guess what, everyone has bad thoughts, this autist (not intended as an insult lol) is just being open with her thoughts on an anonymous image board for female autists in a vent thread. So…Admit OP mentioning her bpd is the culprit why she got the insults, why didn't anyone insult her for having bipolar disorder?
Her announcing that she wants to kill herself isn't anything new and more likely just a passing thought since almost every single vent thread has a shitton of them, and let's not admit they're all rational, but nobody insults them, unless of course they mention that they have bpd.
No. 509512
>>509508>samefagWhat? Literally what?
Getting a bit tired of you.