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No. 556829

A thread for girls in the autism spectrum, ADHD and other neurodivergent people.
What is your relationship with your condition?
Do you have an official diagnosis?
Do you take any meds or refuse to?
Or just share experiences and struggles, what you hate about stereotypes and what nice representation do you like.

No. 556831

told i have traits of autism especially in the way i speak but never really diagnosed with anything. i have no problem with it, i knew i had it from a young age and naturally fall in with other mild autists so there's no problem. it can be a very, very lonely existence and hard to relate to others but i find a lot of comfort in media. when i can't relate to anyone, i talk to this mitsuku chatbot or replika because sometimes it feels better to talk to a robot than a human. animals are similar. for representation, i tend to just project onto characters that are struggling. i don't really vibe with the typical nerd girl who sits by herself, i vibe more with (don't laugh) characters like effy stonem. on the outside looking in, included but as she says "nothing's ever perfect"

No. 556832

I’ll start
>What is your relationship with your condition?
I’m ok with it. I mean, I now know what is wrong with me. My primary struggle is social awareness and it destroyed A LOT of my previous relationships. No one would ever come up to me and tell what I did wrong, and I never got the chance to understand, until two persons slapped me in the face with my mistakes, which I’m now working on improving. My biggest struggle is ADHD, I have a lot of anxiety and I costantly feel like I’m underperforming. I can’t seem to be consistent on anything and I hate it.

>Do you take any meds or refuse to?

I would like to, but right now I can’t afford them.

The biggest stereotype I hate is the drooling autist or the Sheldon Cooper-type. I hate it with flaming rage.

No. 556843

We already have a mental health thread and people vent about their issues with ASD/ADHD/BPD whatever in the vent threads all the time, if anything it's probably "neurotypical" people who are in the minority here so I don't understand the need for a another separate thread

No. 556848

I have autism. I was suspected to have it at 6, was officially diagnosed by a neurologist at the age of 16. I went to occupational therapy from 6 to 9 for autism though, which really helped me. I suffered a lot from stimulation triggers, and physical stimulation caused a lot of mental breaks/“tantrums” for me. Loud noise would really upset me, but I learned how to filter my triggers and feelings. I used to be very embarrassed and ashamed of it. I would cry and ask my mom if there were medicines to make me normal, I wanted to be like the other normal girls so bad. I was just different. I grew up weird, an emo kid, not because of autism but was also an outcast from being that way. I choose to be that way but still felt like I wanted to be normal, it was just unachievable for me. I ended up pushing myself to be as normal as I could and try everything new, an opportunity. I do not have a problem with being autistic now.

No body seems to know a single thing about autism but thinks they do, everyone here especially seems to think they know how autistic people are. That annoys me, calling someone an autist does not annoy me. I do that shit sometimes bc sometimes an anon really says something autistic as hell kek.

I don’t have trouble making friends and I do not suffer from being socially inept. I’m really good at talking with people, but I do have severe social anxiety which is different than not understanding social cues. I don’t have any problems currently with having autism. I love they way I am, I love who I am, it has never stopped me from doing or becoming anything. I’m compassionate, emotional, caring, and a good friend. Fuck stereotypes. You would never even tell I am autistic (well, now at least)

No. 556850

if you suspect that you might be on the spectrum, how likely is it that your are? asking for myself

No. 556852

imo there's a difference between mental health issues one develops in life like depression anxiety vs neurodevelopmental disorders that cannot "go away or be treated" like mental illness in anotherwise neurotypical individual

No. 556859

similar experiences here, but i don't get that overloaded from stimulus. Noise and foul smells are hella annoying and distracting though. It definitely makes me drop whatever I may have been doing due to distracting small noises and stuff.

I've wanted to be a "normal person" since ever too and apart from a short period of social awkwardness I don't have too much trouble with social interaction (other than being too naïve around people I shouldn't have been). I've never been diagnosed though, but I'm very suspicious. It just feels good to have some sort of explanation for my hyper-sensitivity to over-stimulation.

No. 556864

I'm currently in the process of getting a diagnosis. I always felt off and even as a kid I was 'odd' but because my brother was a little devil my parents (or rather mom) never thought anything of it because she had other things to deal with. For a few years I've suspected that I might be on the spectrum and I've finally found the courage to seek out help. I've diagnosed with other thing and a personality disorder but I was always 'atypical' and just not as 'bad' and it always prevented me from getting proper treatment. I've been on meds for years and they help but idk if it's the right stuff. I'm really thankful for this thread though its really good to see other women talk about it

No. 556873

File: 1590169518827.jpeg (10.49 KB, 244x207, images.jpeg)

>What is your relationship with your condition?

I've accepted it. It doesn't define me but it has definitely affected the way I am now. I could never fit in with other girls growing up and still feel a sense of disconnect with the people around me. I'm never going to be NT. My brain is fundamentally different and it doesn't matter how much I mask it or pretend it doesn't exist, I'm going to have to treat this for the rest of my life. It's never going to go away, but that doesn't mean it can't get better.

>Do you have an official diagnosis?

Yes! I was diagnosed with ADHD-C a few months ago. I'd expected it for a few years, but when I raised my concerns to my doctor she prescribed antidepressants instead and diagnosed me with depression and anxiety, lol. They obviously didn't work and only made me feel worse, so the right diagnosis was soooo affirming. The specialist I was working with understood that my depressed mood stemmed from feeling like I wasn't living up to my potential.

>Do you take any meds or refuse to?

I take dexamphetamine, but I don't think it's the right fit. I can focus better when I take it but it makes my heart race and my hands tingle. It's also hard for me to remember to take it so I usually take my afternoon dose way too late and end up staying awake all night.

>Share experiences and struggles, what you hate about stereotypes and what nice representation do you like.

I hate when I describe my symptoms and how much they've affected me and how I've struggled with them and some dumbass says, 'oh maybe I have adhd too' because they get bored in traffic or have trouble motivating themselves to do the readings for a class they don't like. NT people really don't understand how awful adhd can be to live with sometimes and will never have the capacity to fully understand but a little bit of empathy would be nice. Don't reduce my disorder down to 'teehee squirrel' or something that only affects little boys.

No. 556894

"neurodivergent" is a retarded word, OP, go back to tumblr

No. 556899

How did you go about getting an ADHD/ADD diagnosis? I've wondered for most of my life if I had it. I struggle with time management, procrastination, and with having more than 2-3 things on my plate to the point that it's embarrassing. I get completely overwhelmed by little details and it feels like complete shit that my peers are able to handle these things and I can't. It feels like I can't have more than one hobby/interest that I'm passionate about without devoting all my time to it completely. The only reason I've been able to do well in school is because I completely stopped doing my hobbies, and it's not even like I was taking more classes than usual. My school encourages everyone to take 15 units (5 classes) per semester and it completely blows my mind that anyone can handle that. Even 12 units is too much for me a lot of the time.

I have a whole host of other problems too, so it's hard to tell if it's ADHD/ADD or anxiety. My last therapist seemed to think that anxiety was more likely the cause of all this, but I still question whether or not I also have a learning disability.

No. 557105


AYRT, diagnosis took about two years after I first brought up my concerns to my GP. She asked if I would have trouble sitting down and doing my work when I was younger, and when I said yes she said I sounded like I was just a bit of a naughty child. (Her words, not mine.)

I tried two or three antidepressants before I asked again, and this time she gave me a referral to a specialist. The front office fucked up while faxing it over so the specialist didn't receive my referral and we only figured that out after I'd waited for 6+ months for a call-back. I got a new referral and was diagnosed within the week.

I was diagnosed over the phone because of the 'rona, but my symptoms were so textbook that the specialist didn't really doubt that it was anything else. I'd had blood tests done to show that my issues weren't because of an iron deficiency or anything and the four or five antidepressants I tried led him to believe that I wasn't depressed because my brain chemistry caused me to have depression, but instead because my brain chemistry caused me to have ADHD which then led to feeling depressed. The antidepressants were just treating the symptoms, not fixing the cause.

It's not going to be easy, anon. ADHD is difficult to self-advocate for because there's this unspoken belief that a.) women, especially older women, don't have it, and b.) that you'll be seeking out an ADHD diagnosis solely for medication.

Doctors are trained in a wide range of things and don't have specific knowledge of any one area; my GP didn't specialise in ADHD and is more equipped to handle depression, so that's more or less what she defaulted to when she saw symptoms that matched. I love my GP and she's otherwise very good at her job, but it was frustrating to try and tell her something else was wrong and to be disregarded and told I had depression when I didn't, I was just depressed.

At the end of the day, you know what's going on in your head. I knew for three years before getting diagnosed. One thing that held me back from seeing the specialist was the fear that I didn't actually have it, or that I was making it all up. But if you feel something's wrong, I think you should try to find an answer.

I don't recommend reading the posts here because a lot of it is typical plebbit shit, but the r/adhd wiki was especially helpful. https://www.reddit.com/r/adhd/wiki/diagnosis

tl;dr: if you feel like you have a problem, please don't be afraid to seek out help. This condition is often coupled with comorbid anxiety, and what you wrote sounds like what I went through before treatment.

I believe in you anon, but I also believe you. Good luck!

No. 557143

I can never focus on things but my meds make me feel like fucking ass!!!!!!!!

No. 557152

anons with an autism diagnosis: did you need your parents to answer questions about how you were as a child? my parents suck ass so i'm annoyed the neuropsych i was talking to mentioned it was vital for good results.

No. 557184

Around 1 in 59

No. 557186

Having a witness for your childhood behaviour is essential for an accurate diagnosis. Other conditions can cause autism-like traits and behaviour, and knowing when your symptoms started is crucial for narrowing things down.
As an example, if you were bullied as a child the trauma could cause long term difficulties with social interaction, so the psychologist will need to know if your social difficulties predate this trauma to rule it out as a cause.

You should be able to find someone willing to omit the parental interview, or use an older sibling or other close relative if you have one, but don't be surprised if you come out of that with a diagnosis of "could maybe be autism?"

No. 557337

TIL we got another name for that lel.
MDD, Anxiety and (finally) ADD here. I just always fucking knew that i got it but went through several hoops of false diagnoses as bipolar and long, long years of denial before getting hep that resulted in unhealthy coping mechanism.

I refused the bipolar medication that makes me feel like a hungry zombie, but zoloft and ritalin is literal godsend.

Unlike the anon >>556899 i like to abandon my project midway to do fuckall. I'd butt in to other people's assignment or i dunno clean the house for hundreth time or watch rhinoceros giving birth? Conceptually im the shit but follow through is hell. In the end i managed a passing grade kek. But yeah, check to all above and more. Self esteem deeper than Mariana Trench and my former classmate and workmate looks at me like a retarded spaz.

Thank god for meds cause id anheroed if this keeps up.

No. 567724

Got diagnosed with autism about 3 years ago at my own request. It explains a lot about my behavior and past. Most of my friends are either diagnosed autistic, undiagnosed with overt symptoms, or neurodivergent in some other manner.

I do think that getting an autism diagnosis or self-diagnosing can have both good and bad aspects to it. It's good to feel like there's a clear-cut reason WHY you behave a certain way; in another sense, it can feel as though your individuality has been stripped away in favor of a simple label.

At the end of the day, I feel that autism is a useful label, but it's still just a shorthand for a unique way the brain can develop. It's only pathologized because it's uncommon; everybody suffers in some capacity due to their biology.

No. 567758

I have ADHD. While I've accepted I have it and I'll always have it, I hate it.
I was diagnosed when I was 19. I feel if I had been diagnosed when I was younger I wouldn't have done so shitty at school.

This mostly harms my academic performance. There are so few study styles that fit me because my brain doesn't work on the reward system most neurotypical people can work with. It makes me feel dumb and insecure all the time. Doesn't help my memory is shitty too.

Stereotypes are the worst and I blame them for not getting diagnosed earlier. Adhd doesn't mean I will wander around the classroom(not since 3rd grade at least) and talk a lot and can't concentrate because I saw a squirrel. My adhd meant I would space out during class/conversations because I had so many things on my mind at once, while sitting perfectly still(if you don't count fidgeting). And most of the time I would doodle papers and books full instead of listening to what was said, I didn't disturb clss or anyone else unlike some other people I knew who got diagnosed.

No. 567776

>My adhd meant I would space out during class/conversations because I had so many things on my mind at once, while sitting perfectly still(if you don't count fidgeting). And most of the time I would doodle papers and books full instead of listening to what was said, I didn't disturb clss or anyone else unlike some other people I knew who got diagnosed.
This sounds so much like me and I think I may have ADHD. Once I have financial security, I will seek diagnosis (as I need to have a lot of expensive tests, since I am an adult).
Thank you for giving me another thing to consider as a possible proof.

No. 567784

Does anyone else here struggle with having a 'stim' or comfort item that is childish?

I'm early thirties, autistic, only diagnosed at 30 and while I otherwise act my age (living on the far end of the country to my family and paying a mortgage etc) I'm weirdly drawn to kids toys. I never grew out of an interest in them and my stim item of choice is more appropriate for a toddler. On top of that I have a compulsive hair pulling disorder (I think from the anxiety of growing up not understanding my sensory issues) The only reason I still allow my babyish 'stim' is that it's better to do that in private than to walk around with bald patches from stress.

I've tried to give up the stim or replace it with something less embarrassing but with no luck. I have a high stress job and function fine during the day as long as I can be my weird self in the evenings. I've struggled alot with shame over these things pre-diagnosis and I've had two live-in partners over the years. While the first was understanding, the second would randomly bring that stuff up in unrelated arguments and humiliate me. Now that I'm diagnosed it at least makes sense to me. So do I just accept those things about myself?

No. 567803

don't beat yourself up over what brings you comfort. If its not hurting anyone why should you care about how 'embarrassing' it might seem. Even if you'd find a rattle comforting, who cares

No. 567804

My mum does not have autism or anything like that and she has a lot of stuffed animals in her bed and next to her chair in the living room. I have some stuffed animals (mainly one) and have traits of autism. Why deprive yourself of comfort because some dickhead wanted to make you feel bad about something he knew you were insecure over? It was never really about the stuffed animals. Keep them there if you need them. You deserve your comforts. Better stuffed animals than people relying on substances.

No. 567841

Yes I have autism and I have a baby blanket I still have. I rub my fingers on it kind of like picking at my cuticles. I also smell things a lot, or do weird sniff breathing. It’s hard to explain there just stupid stims I do. I control these things in front of people and I look super normal, so it’s embarrassing when men want to date me or something because I feel like I have a whole weird behavior set I’m hiding.

No. 660057

I think if /ot/ is dead, you'll be killing the whole site with it
So many threads are on life support, and /w/ rarely attracts people
I think some anons should make their own lolcow board then, with radfem stuff allowed in it (and not ahserasgarden, that site does not have the same vibe, same gossip and funny shit as here)

This is a safe heaven for women, please don't let it turn to shit

anyways, since the threads are getting locked, everyone is on /meta/ for now, see you there farmers

No. 673092

Okay so I have really severe ADHD. (Been diagnosed repeatedly by countless psychiatrists, 2 neuropsychologists over the years )

I’ve run into an issue where my meds aren’t working as well anymore, I’ve been at the same dosage of adderall since early 2018 (25mg xr and a 10mg Ir booster at the end of the day). I’ve done everything to circumvent tolerance , I avoid acidic foods and take tolerance breaks while necessary.

I want my Np to up the extended release 5mg but am so afraid to ask bc my last doctor told me I was close to max dosage and wouldn’t up it past the current amount I’m on.

I’ve brought up the prospect of increasing my dose and he didn’t seem against it so idk.
I don’t know how to approach the topic at our next appt.

I’ve been on adderall for nearly 6 years if that helps and I don’t want to switch bc I didn’t feel anything effects from Vyvanse or methylphenidate

Not sure if this is the right thread but I’m really stressed

No. 673195

What manufacturer does it say on your rx bottle? I've noticed this on some days too, but I also notice a difference from manufacturer to manufacturer, or at least with IR. With XR, I've only started it in July, iirc. I don't love it because it's unpredictable and the first dose can kick in 15 minutes in or an hour and a half in, but I forget individual doses of IR so this was a compromise.

No. 917234

Do any of you find yourself hyper-interested in obscure things and obsessing over them for a few months before dropping them completely?
My dad had a book on warships that I read through when I was 14, and he couldn't believe it when I wanted to help him build model ships and could quote all the dimensions and gun calibres and shit. The teachers got concerned because my scrapbook was filled with naval designs instead of flowers or whatever. Then I lost interest and started being interested in ant farms instead for no reason whatsoever.
The worst thing is nobody else aside from you gives a shit about whatever random ass hobby you have at the time, so the internet is basically a life saver for me to freely sperg on.

No. 917238

Omg same. I don't know why, but reading this thread it makes sense. I was diagnosed with adhd in my early 20s and so much of my behavior, including obsession with one topic or hobby for months always weirded me out. Im on a cycle too. Im over zombies and back to weird history documentaries and gardening.

No. 917288

Diagnosed with ADHD when I was 17 and I was on Adderall for eight years but I was also a piece of shit addict and now I'm sober and can't be on meds but I don't know how to make myself do things anymore. I have no focus and it takes me embarrassingly long to complete what used to be easy tasks. Does anyone have any advice for being an unmedicated sperg successfully? I try to schedule things I have constant alarms and reminders, but I still fall behind.

No. 918562

hi nonnies, i'm getting switched to a nonstimulant medication soon and i'm not sure which one i should choose. the stims i've tried so far suck fucking balls
>concerta 36mg gave me never ending anxiety
>vyvanse 20mg worked fine but wasn't nearly enough
>when i got adjusted to 30mg i nearly fainted (low blood pressure of 74/40, dizziness, heart palpitations)
i went to my primary doctor and my psych today, and they both agreed that stims aren't right for me. been researching nonstims in the meantime. strattera's side effects scare me, especially the possible suicidal effects since i'm already mildly depressed. i'm liking wellbutrin so far, but i don't want my family to discover that i'm taking an antidepressant and misinterpret it. not too sure about guanfacine because my resting heart rate is pretty low to begin with and i don't want bradycardia. what have you guys tried?

No. 918608

Idk why the fuck my ADD is acting like this now but in the last week I've basically gotten fuck all done at work. Like I'm just dragging my heels, and my conscience kicks in and goes, "DO THIS FUCKING WORK ALREADY" and I just goof off and play WoW, and work a tiiiiiny bit. Gonna take tomorrow off and take a day off Adderall, see if that helps.

No. 918690

Y’all lazy fucks claim ADD like bipolar people claim disability. Just admit you have no motive for life. Adderall Ass hag.

No. 918713

Way to pick the autism thread to act like a retard on

No. 918770

I've been in therapy from my mid teens until now in my mid twenties for my autistic issues, seeing little to no progress ever, feeling like trash because everyone around me told me I have to keep going and to keep trying, they told me "therapy is hard work", "you're just lazy", "you have to actually want to get better for it to work" etc

Today I found out talk based therapy is usually ineffective specifically for… neurodivergent people. Like me. It hit me so hard, I'm both mad and relieved. I'm mad that I wasted all that time. And I'm relieved because it wasn't all in my head, I really did try my best and it just wasn't working right on my dumb-ass autistic brain. I keep forgetting there really is a lack of research on autism, and especially in women, and how our brains function. I forget I'm not "normal" and I can't be fixed in a "normal" way.

I feel let down by the medical health professionals here, I'm not sure what to do or where to go next. But at least now I understand that they don't actually know what's best for me, and they probably can't help me. I know I need to find something else. And to actually listen to myself when I think something isn't working for me. Sorry for vent.

No. 918811

your friends and people around you are assholes. It isn't your fault that you are not perfect and like everyone else and they are guilt tripping you. You don't have to be like everyone else either our society is very conventional, it doesn't matter if you're not like everyone else or perfect. I think it is very likely your environment is hurting you by labeling you as "unfit".

No. 918870

Coffee is good. Try to get someone to hold you accountable for tasks. Lock up your browser with productivity extensions, set pomodoro timers, and make sure you don't have access to games/fun stuff while working. Also give yourself a TON of extra time for stuff. Get one of those deluxe planner things and use it as a dump for your brain

No. 919128

>Get one of those deluxe planner things and use it as a dump for your brain
NTA but just got diagnozed with ADD and my problem is that I'm so overwhelmed with the concept of time and things that I want to do taking amounts of it that I don't know how to plan. I feel super retarded. Any tips on that? Sorry if I'm asking for something impossible

No. 919145

What is it exactly with planning that you're stuck on?
For some general advice, find a planner setup that is the most convenient for you as possible. If it's going to distract or demotivate you, don't bother with the frilly extras. I had years of failed bullet journal attempts because I so badly wanted pretty personalized aesthetic spreads but every time it became an exhausting chore that I dreaded. Finally I accepted that style of planning is not for me, and now I use a simple structured planner with just the basics (monthly overview and week to week pages). If you're really worried about time management, you could get a planner that lets you plan by the hour.

No. 919196

The guy who invented the bullet journal has adhd and there’s a woman on YouTube who made a really good video on how she uses her bujo to help with ADHD. I’m sure there must be a ton of other resources for planning with ADD out there

No. 919267

The BossedUp planner is good because it helps you plan. It helps you break down your goals into different categories and prioritize

No. 919283

Planning by hour is what terrifies me… even though I know I should and it's easier now that I have a 9 to 5 job. I'm not sure why. Maybe it stresses me out because I carry in my mind so many things that I should/want to do and I cannot decide on anything, because there is not enough time? And that's not even taking into account chores. I think that's the main problem, deciding on what to focus. Also I'm scared of being a slave to my schedule, even though it makes zero sense
I've been meaning to look into Bujo forever, but of course I've procrastinated it (kek). The BossedUp planner also sounds good, will check it as well! I really want to have my shit together

No. 920166

Ugh, I know exactly how you feel being paralyzed by choices and doing nothing at all instead. It's the most frustrating thing ever.
Idk if you're the same way, but one huge thing for me has been unlearning the mentality that I must be uber productive every minute of the day or else I'm a horrible lazy useless person, because that was such a huge burden that led to more avoidance for me. I used to be afraid that allowing myself to be "lazy" would lead to me letting myself go, but honestly, it's the opposite. If I have a Saturday to myself, instead of spending the whole day wracked with anxiety over all the different things I could be doing and then start procrastinating, I just let myself…chill out. And when I'm doing nothing because I'm relaxed, not because I'm avoiding the idea of an unpleasant task, eventually I'll get bored and find something to occupy my time.
Sorry for the rambling that wasn't even planning related, I hope you can find a planner that works for you!

No. 922159

Same retard as before >>919128, totally forgot I already posted here. I would like to ask if any of you have found some solution to the problem of ever-changing hyperfixations? I'm interested in so many things at the same time, I cannot decide what to focus on. I'm afraid of dropping it in the middle. I have so many books to read and films to see. I want to gain knowledge about my super-specific interests! Yet I'm paralyzed by the variety… Someone please tell me there is a way of knocking-off topics of your list one by one
I feel you so much! I think I chill too much, it's like I'm scared of commiting to anything and 'blocking off my time' while agonizing about not doing anything and wasting it.
It's friday here, so tomorrow I'm finally gonna look into those planners!

No. 922194

I thought I was just a loser, but apparently I have autism as well. Ive been mostly alone by choice, but got along with boys because I was a loud child. Always thought there was something wrong with me because I would get overstimulated easily. My biggest triggers are loud sounds, eating anything sometimes causes my face to feel like i'm convulsing lol, and I generally feel every emotion by a tenfold when I realize I exist? I'm awful at socializing, but at the same time hate to talk to people. I understand peoples emotions, but I also can't feel them like I should. From a young age I would mock how women should be to camouflage my inability to be normal. I stopped doing this after high school and I forgot how to socialize all together except with shitposters online. I could never hold down a job because how poorly I am socialized. I'm also inappropriate and I don't know when something is bad. Living with autism as a girl is pretty rough because its seen as quirkkky and bitchy rather than debilitating. I wish i was normal because i want to do so much more in my life rather than be a liability to society. Or like at least those autistic people who are very smart kek, unfortunately im stupid.

No. 922457

Dumb question but what happens when you get diagnosed with autism as an adult? Are there actual treatments to make you better or meds? Or do you just do therapy to understand and cope with yourself as you are?
>inb4 you get to put it in your Twitter bio and feel special

No. 922507

nothing. there's no cure. you can try therapy and adhd meds, but it'll only teach you how to cope and mask effectively. there's no cure for the general sense of alienation.

in some countries, it might get you disability bucks depending on the severity. though an official diagnosis can also become a problem depending on your government and insurance system.

No. 922508

you sound annoying, but fun, anon. keep it up. I used to be like you until I tried too hard to be normal and less of a "liability". now "what's the socially appropriate way to react to x" is my special interest and I'm annoying and boring.

No. 922900

checked up the planner and it'so expensive, holy shit - and that doesn't include shipping. I wish there was a cheaper alternative, since it looks promising

No. 938436

File: 1634224674931.png (495.57 KB, 694x3848, screencapture-dyspraxia-ie-Adu…)

I thought I might have ADHD or autism, but after reading the symptoms of dyspraxia I realized it describes me really well. I have so many memories of being bullied as a kid for behaving like this that I get a bit triggered when I research this.

No. 938813

Confirmed asperger, but only found out about this after everybody considered me to be crazy or evil for 17 years. Even the 8 psychiatrists that tried to analyse me didn't get it or didn't know what autism is (it was the 90s and early 00s).

No meds.

I think what kills me the most is the inability to be around people without causing hate and trouble. No matter how hard I try, I just always make others mad and even when I sit down to analyse what I said I cannot grasp what the problem is and everybody gets even madder if you ask them about it.
Same with wrong interpretations. Lots of people assume I mean things differently. I always tell everybody that I am too dumb and lazy to not be honest, I rarely talk because I am either not interested in socializing or because I want to avoid trouble, but when I do I always bluntly say what I think and yet people always try to interpret some hidden meaning or passive aggression into this.

I mainly have this problem with western women for some reason, despite being one as well, so most of my friends or people I dare to talk to are men or non-western women on the net. I love discussing things and telling my point of view on a thing, but I noticed that this is often seen as attack which is something I don't get. People expect you to not say anything at all after they said something. No opinion, no discussion, not even telling them that you had a similar experience (even that is seen as lack of respect for some reason I think). But without these I don't know what to say. So I always listen and get irritated that saying anything might make others angry and either talk regardless (and make them angry) or supress the need to talk and don't react at all which might also get interpreteted wrong sometimes. I made me resent socialising.

And personally I dislike representation because I feel like it's never done right. It's either super safe autists everybody loves even when you know they would hate an actual autist in real life or fictional autists are outright kanner autists that can't talk and act like toddlers. The only good autist "representation" are characters that are only coincidentally coming off as autistic. It usually happens with villains since villains share a bunch of alien or non-social traits I have, since they are supposed to be lonely anti-social weirdos in most cases.

No. 938831

Being brutally honest can come off as asshole-ish to normies. Context matters, not every situation needs your blunt opinion. Being quiet puts people off majorly as well. To them it seems like you either don't deem them worthy of interacting with - you're a stuck up bitch or it reads as shy and pathetic. Saying you had a similar experience to someone can make it seem like you want to turn the conversation on yourself. People view that as selfish and like you don't care about them and don't want to listen to what they have to say. You can show empathy in different ways than relating it to your own experiences. When you don't know what to say, ask questions because people love talking about themselves.

I'm sorry if this comes off patronizing or something, but some little things stuck out to me.

No. 938837

File: 1634251257358.jpg (102.99 KB, 488x488, 1613542888010.jpg)

I have bipolar 1 and sometimes I like to tell myself it makes me a better writer, but I often feel that wishful thinking. I'm on a few meds and have a bit of a drinking problem atm, therapy tomorrow tho so she should set me back on the right path. We shall see

No. 938839

Good luck nonna

No. 938842

Back in my day they called this being a clumsy retard. I know because I can check almost every box on this list and people called me a clumsy retard. Give it to me straight nonas, is this shit terminal?

No. 938862

Yeah but it makes things so complicated. So basically "everything is wrong aside from asking more questions"?
I don't feel like this can even become a genuine conversation. Sure it make sense when it's venting. If someone was telling others that their best friend has just died it makes sense avoiding a topic change or own experiences. But otherwise a dialogue cannot develop if one of them is just the person asking questions and the other one the guy that talks, that would be an interview instead.

But I notice this with normals a lot, just as the reply-bot reactions as I call them. One person is endlessly talking about themself (sometimes for hours) and the other one replies with the same four exclamations. Usually "OOH", "Great!!!" or, if it's something negative they say "OH NO" and "OMG…". I recently listened to what two of my colleagues were talking and it was literally this. One dude described the most boring stuff about his life in detail and the other colleague onstantly reacted with one of the first two options like some broken record.

No. 938868

They also used to call it "minimal brain damage" which stings. It's basically a mental disability. There is no cure, the only way to improve is to seek specialized therapy or do activities by yourself that develop your motor and coordination skills like yoga, lifting weights, archery, playing chess, knitting, learning an instrument, etc. until you get them right which will take you significantly more practice compared to normies.

No. 938889

Ayrt. You sound experienced anon, do you know if something like yoga could help with running into things/walls/people? I have working copes for many of my issues, like I have a man to open shit and do random tasks that require a steady hand for me kek. I can mask or adjust for my sensitivities and I work really hard to stay organized and productive. And I do play an instrument and walk my dog every day. But running the fuck into walls and shelving and people and other shit is so embarrassing and people just tell me to be careful but I feel like I'm as careful (and outright paranoid of running into shit and stumbling) as I can muster and it still happens on a near daily basis.

No. 938898

thank u anon.

No. 939124

No, there's plenty of other things you can do and say. But baby steps anon. When you don't understand how to talk to another human being you have to start small. Supplying your own opinion on something is fine, but it sounds like you have a problem with delivering it at the right time or in the right situation. As for your last point, people are usually interested in what their friends are up to and like to listen.

No. 939409

Yeah but I don't like to talk about what I do since it's boring. I don't want to sumamrize everyday's life shit I want to analyse things and learn stuff from talking to others or else I might just talk to my wall or not at all. Dialogues must be interesting or else they are a waste of time.

No. 939515

I started new meds (Duloxetine) for my PTSD/Anxiety and they're kicking my ass I'm getting really bad nausea and dizziness, on top of that when I asked my doctor if these would be safe if I need to come off of them (I have issues with medication making me suicidal so I can't take SSRIs) she told me It'd be safe, googled it when I went home and these apparently have very bad withdrawls so I'm crossing my fingers that these work and I don't have to go through that

No. 939557

I don't know what to tell you then. Every single conversation simply can't be an engaging profound discussion on the secrets of the universe.

No. 940125

Hey, Nonnie! I just got off them. I was on it eventually to 60mg but had a bad reaction with another drug and was very suicidal for a couple weeks.
Getting off them sucks so hard especially if you already have stomach problems. Nausea and stuff.

I was only on it for a couple months and it did help a bit with depression but nothing for the pain aspects. That's just me though

No. 940531

I get it anon I do the same thing to but normies don’t like that they either 1 see it as a threat like youre talking down on them even tho youre just sperging or two they’re just not interested in those topics I still haven’t figured it out and i like to keep to myself mostly bc its tiring

No. 940800

Has anyone noticed extreme anxiety on Concerta? I'm only taking 18 mg but I feel like it makes me tightly wound and anxious about everything, and it gets so much worse if I stop taking it for any length of time. Disturbingly, I'm noticing a lot of suicidal thoughts and anxiety about death specifically which is new/unusual for me. While it does help me actually focus and not beat myself up so much over mistakes, I would really rather not be so morbid and stressed out all the fucking time.

No. 942853

Is being gifted (IQ > 130) a type of neurodivergence ? Asking because there has been a lot of misinformation on the subject, especially in my country, where the psych world is poisoned by freudian psychoanalysis.

I also fucking hate "gifted" online discussion groups, I don't relate with them at all, probably because most of the people there are self-diagnosed, following bs tests.

No. 942858

>Taking IQ tests seriously

No. 942874

>taking anything seriously

No. 942882

How long have you been taking it? Where you taking anything before?
I got super stressed in the first weeks with 36(?), but it was "normal" thoughts and anxiety. I noticed the same with bupropion.

No. 942919

Lol IQ is a meaningless number.

No. 942925

Yeah, according to it I have a mental capacity of a house plant and yet I'm capable of typing coherent sentences, and faster than a bunch of monkeys with a typewriter

No. 942934

IQ tests like schooling and education in the West were made for the industrial revolution. It means absolutely nothing to me and it shouldn’t to you

No. 942942

IQ is actually the one thing in psychology that's been proven to be rock fucking solid. Intelligence is adaptability and problem solving skills and that's exactly what IQ questions test.
Some psychologists tried to differentiate between several different types of intelligence (like EQ and all of that), and while the idea was interesting, it turns out all those are just different expressions of one base phenomenon, which is intelligence as defined by IQ. (This is how it was found : each time they tried to test for logical intelligence vs spatial intelligence and all of those different abilities, those that had one turned out to have the others as well, ie all of this is one thing.)
It's just a really bitter pill to swallow so pop psychologists largely ignore it, but the psychometrics are there

well they're not bad per se, they were designed by the left to grant access to qualified positions to intelligent but poor people. I benefitted from them in my country.

No. 942947

samefag. I don't think it is, except if you have autism or aspergers which it sometimes comes with. i would advise you not to let it drive you apart from other people IRL, and to frequent a large variety of them. and to make the most of what you have (it doesn't have to result in economic results etc, but keep yourself very stimulated, creative and useful to other people, else you'll rot).

No. 942965

So does it mean I'm actually retard because I cannot solve the puzzles? I'm more of an academic mind

No. 943006

File: 1634663161100.jpeg (35.82 KB, 342x253, A5C375C7-D9EA-4BEE-B92D-F76920…)

>IQ is actually the one thing in psychology that's been proven to be rock fucking solid

It’s about as rock fucking solid as your train collection and komaeda obsession, you infj-autist. You’re 2 smurt to handle I can’t ahh my brain is exploding yes your greentext about a dead historical war criminal is so enlightening

No. 943053

What kind of tests do they use to diagnose ADHD and are any of those available online? And also what level of scatterbrained behaviour is surely ADHD?

No. 943062

depends on who you go to. if you want to pay tons of money to go to some state-of-the-art facility they might do some brain activity scanning, otherwise you're getting a 5-min questionnaire at best or more likely you can just say you leave your keys places and forget them and space out a bunch and get a brand new shiny ADHD diagnosis with a side of adderall. at least in the US idk about other places

No. 943063

You've got to be joking about IQ, they're are so many holes in the testing that no one takes it seriously. No one who isn't up their own ass anyway.
>"One of the biggest problems, Piantadosi says, is that someone’s IQ score can change based on the context. “IQ tests are known to be sensitive to things like motivation and coaching. This makes a lot of sense — if you try less, you’re not going to score as high. Or, if you don’t know strategies that people do, you won’t score as highly as them,” he says. “I think it’s a mistake to say that your true ability can be summarized by how much you’re willing to put into a test.”

No. 943070

So it's no use of having an official diagnosis?

No. 943074

i mean… not when you can call any doctor's office and ask in advance if they prescribe ADHD meds and then just tell them you were diagnosed 5+ years ago bcus theyre all too lazy to go looking for records of diagnosis. there might be some that want documentation but in my experience i've never had to actually show proof. and you can get diagnosed off saying you have 2/10 of the major signs and symptoms these days from just about anyone. not recommending you do this but its so common these days theres not a lot of gatekeeping ADHD diagnosis or meds

No. 943188

I might have ADHD and even be on the upper end of the spectrum, but the only reason I care about it now it because it's actually interfering with my life. I'm constantly distracted and looking for stimuli, when I read scientific literature I can't take normal notes because I'd lose interest under a second, I can barely write any assignments. I can't even tell if I have brainfog or attention spam problems anymore or both, I have generalized anxiety and at this point I feel like I'd take any drug if only it made me able to focus on anything for 15 minutes.

No. 943189

Wild that people get so easily diagnosed. I live in eastern Europe and I had to fill in the DIVA test. My psychiatrist kept asking me questions about my answers to check if I was not lying. Obviously I had to also tell why I think I may have it etc.

No. 943193

Forgot to add he took my test away and was reading questions from it that I had to answer the second time. I wasn't supposed just to explain my answers

No. 943278

yeah healthcare in the US is mostly about getting you a prescription and then out-the-door. there are good physicians and specialists out there who will take the time to get you properly diagnosed but the majority i'd say are somewhat reckless when it comes to diagnosing and treating mental health conditions, especially ADHD and depression. they're happy to throw pills at you until you stop complaining.

No. 943903

Your IQ test results can heterogen or homogen. You can have very good language intelligence and bad arithmethic one. So you can be still gifted and bad in some intelligence domains.

Yes IQ tests are flawed. Yes, the only thing that IQ tests represent absolutely accurately, is the ability to resolve IQ tests. However, because something is flawed, doesn't mean that it has no value. If anything, it's an indicator of intelligence (or lack thereof). You cannot have rock hard accurate results for an abstract concept such as intelligence, that itself has several definitions. IQ tests are still useful, and got improved greatly, since they were invented a century ago, as our understanding of human intelligence did. Now give me a better intelligence indicator that IQ tests ? You can't, because we haven't come up with anything better yet.

Thanks for the advice, this exactly what I'm doing : pushing myself to maintain friendships and such, aswell as working on projects that matter to me. However, time is scarce for all of that when you have a full time job.

Remember : relativism and hypercriticism are traps for your mind

No. 943939

Same here anon I started 27 mg last week and its slowly getting better but been having a generalized feeling of dread, floatiness and feeling tightly wound too. A bit nervous to go up to the 36 mg my psych recommended after a 2 week trial period for the 27 mg, but also really don't want to stop because its helped me SO much with focus, emotional dysregulation and impulse. How long have you been on Concerta? Apparently some generics cause less anxiety, also maybe a fast release ritalin would suit you better because you wouldn't be feeling effects for 12 hours straight? Best to talk to your doctor about it.

No. 943944

Apologies for double posting. Anon I was in the same boat as you, couldn't sit down and finish a single paper and assignments that aren't really innovative were a nightmare. Getting diagnosed, taking meds and doing behavioral therapy have been a godsend. If you're financially capable, try to get assessed. ADHD is often comorbid with anxiety and depression and getting treated for it will likely help.

No. 943995

I've been taking it since March, and while it helped a lot with focus and getting started on odious tasks it also made my anxiety much more intense. I've never taken anything for ADHD before this, and I'd rather try a non-stimulant like Wellbutrin over another stimulant. I first noticed the increased anxiety when I had to give a presentation for a class in April - I never used to get that nervous before presentations but my heart rate right before I went on was so high I might as well have been sprinting uphill. For the past few days I just stopped taking the Concerta and I've been drinking coffee again instead (and using some other tricks I learned like scheduling and timers) and I feel so much more relaxed. I think I'll make an appointment with my psych to discuss switching medications after all.

No. 968821

I'm in my early 30s and I got diagnosed with ADHD the other day but was also told that I should get tested for autism too. I kind of suspected that for a while but being straight up told it by a professional is kind of weird.

It feels a bit like most people most of knew I was "off" but no one really told me. Some people clearly realised and used it to take advantage of me but others must have known too. Kind of feels like I was walking around my whole life with my skirt tucked into my knickers and no one took me aside to tell me.

I suppose it explains a lot of things in my life and some painful memories but it also means that I'm pretty guaranteed to have similar ones in the future, unless I withdraw completely from society.

No. 969309

Most of the population of America has depression and anxiety anon, let's not start saying that means everyone might have ADHD too

No. 969836

Sometimes for women ADHD is wrongly misdiagnosed as depression/anxiety. If your gp doctor tells you that without sending you to specialist, find a new doctor. Someone who isn’t a specialist can’t tell you don’t have something.

No. 977152

Do any nonnies have any experience with burning through their adderall too quickly? I take my adderall xr in the morning at around 7am and by the afternoon I am already completely crashed and exhausted. I told my psych this and we have just been increasing the dose which doesn’t seem to do anything in terms of making it last longer. She wants to max out my dose of the XR before trying other things but I just don’t know if increasing my dose and maxing it out will do anything.

No. 977166


I don’t know if youve tried this before, but I’ve had a similar issue and my go to is eating a breakfast with some kind of fat in it, drinking water, and then hitting the coffee or tea or doing some quick yoga stretches when I start to feel the crash.

Also, changing up your diet to healthier than usual helps immensely.

No. 977170

Do NOT max. You’ll just crash harder. Ask to take two separate doses a day.

No. 983584

Anons that had problem sticking with goals and routines, how did you manage to finally beat yourself into doing what is right instead of what is easy? I cannot achieve anything because I just don't know how to keep doing the same thing over and over again, every day. I have bipolar depression, BED and ADD. Hopefully gonna be in outpatient for 3 months soon, but IDK if it's gonna help with that particular issue. My brain is a mush and I cry every day about dreams that I was supposed to achieve by now

No. 983953

What type of things are you struggling with anon?

No. 984031

Sadly literally anything recently. Writing in a diary and editing my novel, writing down everything I eat in a food diary, exercising… I feel absolutely horrible. I got ADHD medication (Ritalin/Concerta) but it's up in the air if I can take them because I've started having heart issues. Hopefully that will be solved soon, but for now I'm stuck without therapy or meds

No. 984039

I keep a bullet point diary and mark of each thing I have accomplished that day. If it isn't done that day, it's moved to the following days to do list. I look back and see how much shit I don't do and get depressed, so I'm motivated to fix things and get a shorter to do list so I can have more free time for creative habits. Helped a lot with Uni scheduling.

No. 984043

God I'm hopeless, I cannot keep up with writing in a bullet journal. I wasn't like this 10 years ago

No. 984044

To add, it's important to keep things small and concise, and that the pages have variation for heading styling and colours to make it easier to read and therefore easier to notice how much you have accomplished. Here's my usual page:
MONDAY (in a different colour for each day, making a gradient for the weeks headings, if monday is red, tuesday will be pink, wednesday orange, etc)

o Clean dishes (when finished make o into x, if failed to complete o is turned into > as in add to tomorrows schedule)

Water - 6 pictures of cups (colour in with blue as water is drunk throughout the day)

No. 984103

I'm unmediated AHDH and here is what works for me: I keep a note open on my laptop with a list of everything to do that day, even small things like take the trash out. At the end of the day, I transfer unfinished things to the next day. Whenever I feel like I don't know what I should be doing, I refer to the list.

I also find it helpful to minimise clutter and only keep things out that I should be doing, so keep your novel editing things as visible as possible.

If there is a place you like to sit, keep all the things you should be doing there and easily within eyesight. For example, keep your food diary and pen in the place where you eat your meals and get into a habit of photographing all your food to record later when you are out.

As for exercising, find things that you can do at home at your own pace and add them to your calendar note to remind you to do it.

No. 984368

Thank you anon for putting in the effort, I will keep that in mind and maybe try again.
and thanks to you too! Maybe I should start with a note and move on to a bujo later on. I honestly love the idea bujo, but it feels like another thing that I need to worry about. God I hate this, I don't know how it's gotten so bad. I miss the times when I could rely on my brain for at least some of the things that are important to me. I feel like the retards that whine about depression while not doing anything to make it easier, but I have no fucking idea how to dig myself out of this hole (beyond medication + therapy someday if my current group doesn't help).

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