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I have autism. I was suspected to have it at 6, was officially diagnosed by a neurologist at the age of 16. I went to occupational therapy from 6 to 9 for autism though, which really helped me. I suffered a lot from stimulation triggers, and physical stimulation caused a lot of mental breaks/“tantrums” for me. Loud noise would really upset me, but I learned how to filter my triggers and feelings. I used to be very embarrassed and ashamed of it. I would cry and ask my mom if there were medicines to make me normal, I wanted to be like the other normal girls so bad. I was just different. I grew up weird, an emo kid, not because of autism but was also an outcast from being that way. I choose to be that way but still felt like I wanted to be normal, it was just unachievable for me. I ended up pushing myself to be as normal as I could and try everything new, an opportunity. I do not have a problem with being autistic now.
No body seems to know a single thing about autism but thinks they do, everyone here especially seems to think they know how autistic people are. That annoys me, calling someone an autist does not annoy me. I do that shit sometimes bc sometimes an anon really says something autistic as hell kek.
I don’t have trouble making friends and I do not suffer from being socially inept. I’m really good at talking with people, but I do have severe social anxiety which is different than not understanding social cues. I don’t have any problems currently with having autism. I love they way I am, I love who I am, it has never stopped me from doing or becoming anything. I’m compassionate, emotional, caring, and a good friend. Fuck stereotypes. You would never even tell I am autistic (well, now at least)
similar experiences here, but i don't get that overloaded from stimulus. Noise and foul smells are hella annoying and distracting though. It definitely makes me drop whatever I may have been doing due to distracting small noises and stuff.
I've wanted to be a "normal person" since ever too and apart from a short period of social awkwardness I don't have too much trouble with social interaction (other than being too naïve around people I shouldn't have been). I've never been diagnosed though, but I'm very suspicious. It just feels good to have some sort of explanation for my hyper-sensitivity to over-stimulation.
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>What is your relationship with your condition?
I've accepted it. It doesn't define me but it has definitely affected the way I am now. I could never fit in with other girls growing up and still feel a sense of disconnect with the people around me. I'm never going to be NT. My brain is fundamentally different and it doesn't matter how much I mask it or pretend it doesn't exist, I'm going to have to treat this for the rest of my life. It's never going to go away, but that doesn't mean it can't get better.
>Do you have an official diagnosis?
Yes! I was diagnosed with ADHD-C a few months ago. I'd expected it for a few years, but when I raised my concerns to my doctor she prescribed antidepressants instead and diagnosed me with depression and anxiety, lol. They obviously didn't work and only made me feel worse, so the right diagnosis was soooo affirming. The specialist I was working with understood that my depressed mood stemmed from feeling like I wasn't living up to my potential.
>Do you take any meds or refuse to?
I take dexamphetamine, but I don't think it's the right fit. I can focus better when I take it but it makes my heart race and my hands tingle. It's also hard for me to remember to take it so I usually take my afternoon dose way too late and end up staying awake all night.
>Share experiences and struggles, what you hate about stereotypes and what nice representation do you like.
I hate when I describe my symptoms and how much they've affected me and how I've struggled with them and some dumbass says, 'oh maybe I have adhd too' because they get bored in traffic or have trouble motivating themselves to do the readings for a class they don't like. NT people really don't understand how awful adhd can be to live with sometimes and will never have the capacity to fully understand but a little bit of empathy would be nice. Don't reduce my disorder down to 'teehee squirrel' or something that only affects little boys.
How did you go about getting an ADHD/ADD diagnosis? I've wondered for most of my life if I had it. I struggle with time management, procrastination, and with having more than 2-3 things on my plate to the point that it's embarrassing. I get completely overwhelmed by little details and it feels like complete shit that my peers are able to handle these things and I can't. It feels like I can't have more than one hobby/interest that I'm passionate about without devoting all my time to it completely. The only reason I've been able to do well in school is because I completely stopped doing my hobbies, and it's not even like I was taking more classes than usual. My school encourages everyone to take 15 units (5 classes) per semester and it completely blows my mind that anyone can handle that. Even 12 units is too much for me a lot of the time.
I have a whole host of other problems too, so it's hard to tell if it's ADHD/ADD or anxiety. My last therapist seemed to think that anxiety was more likely the cause of all this, but I still question whether or not I also have a learning disability.
AYRT, diagnosis took about two years after I first brought up my concerns to my GP. She asked if I would have trouble sitting down and doing my work when I was younger, and when I said yes she said I sounded like I was just a bit of a naughty child. (Her words, not mine.)
I tried two or three antidepressants before I asked again, and this time she gave me a referral to a specialist. The front office fucked up while faxing it over so the specialist didn't receive my referral and we only figured that out after I'd waited for 6+ months for a call-back. I got a new referral and was diagnosed within the week.
I was diagnosed over the phone because of the 'rona, but my symptoms were so textbook that the specialist didn't really doubt that it was anything else. I'd had blood tests done to show that my issues weren't because of an iron deficiency or anything and the four or five antidepressants I tried led him to believe that I wasn't depressed because my brain chemistry caused me to have depression, but instead because my brain chemistry caused me to have ADHD which then led to feeling depressed. The antidepressants were just treating the symptoms, not fixing the cause.
It's not going to be easy, anon. ADHD is difficult to self-advocate for because there's this unspoken belief that a.) women, especially older women, don't have it, and b.) that you'll be seeking out an ADHD diagnosis solely for medication.
Doctors are trained in a wide range of things and don't have specific knowledge of any one area; my GP didn't specialise in ADHD and is more equipped to handle depression, so that's more or less what she defaulted to when she saw symptoms that matched. I love my GP and she's otherwise very good at her job, but it was frustrating to try and tell her something else was wrong and to be disregarded and told I had depression when I didn't, I was just depressed.
At the end of the day, you know what's going on in your head. I knew for three years before getting diagnosed. One thing that held me back from seeing the specialist was the fear that I didn't actually have it, or that I was making it all up. But if you feel something's wrong, I think you should try to find an answer.
I don't recommend reading the posts here because a lot of it is typical plebbit shit, but the r/adhd wiki was especially helpful. https://www.reddit.com/r/adhd/wiki/diagnosis
tl;dr: if you feel like you have a problem, please don't be afraid to seek out help. This condition is often coupled with comorbid anxiety, and what you wrote sounds like what I went through before treatment.
I believe in you anon, but I also believe you. Good luck!
Having a witness for your childhood behaviour is essential for an accurate diagnosis. Other conditions can cause autism-like traits and behaviour, and knowing when your symptoms started is crucial for narrowing things down.
As an example, if you were bullied as a child the trauma could cause long term difficulties with social interaction, so the psychologist will need to know if your social difficulties predate this trauma to rule it out as a cause.
You should be able to find someone willing to omit the parental interview, or use an older sibling or other close relative if you have one, but don't be surprised if you come out of that with a diagnosis of "could maybe be autism?"
TIL we got another name for that lel.
MDD, Anxiety and (finally) ADD here. I just always fucking knew that i got it but went through several hoops of false diagnoses as bipolar and long, long years of denial before getting hep that resulted in unhealthy coping mechanism.
I refused the bipolar medication that makes me feel like a hungry zombie, but zoloft and ritalin is literal godsend.
Unlike the anon >>556899
i like to abandon my project midway to do fuckall. I'd butt in to other people's assignment or i dunno clean the house for hundreth time or watch rhinoceros giving birth? Conceptually im the shit but follow through is hell. In the end i managed a passing grade kek. But yeah, check to all above and more. Self esteem deeper than Mariana Trench and my former classmate and workmate looks at me like a retarded spaz.
Thank god for meds cause id anheroed if this keeps up.
>>567758>My adhd meant I would space out during class/conversations because I had so many things on my mind at once, while sitting perfectly still(if you don't count fidgeting). And most of the time I would doodle papers and books full instead of listening to what was said, I didn't disturb clss or anyone else unlike some other people I knew who got diagnosed.
This sounds so much like me and I think I may have ADHD. Once I have financial security, I will seek diagnosis (as I need to have a lot of expensive tests, since I am an adult).
Thank you for giving me another thing to consider as a possible proof.
I've been in therapy from my mid teens until now in my mid twenties for my autistic issues, seeing little to no progress ever, feeling like trash because everyone around me told me I have to keep going and to keep trying, they told me "therapy is hard work", "you're just lazy", "you have to actually want to get better for it to work" etc
Today I found out talk based therapy is usually ineffective specifically for… neurodivergent people. Like me. It hit me so hard, I'm both mad and relieved. I'm mad that I wasted all that time. And I'm relieved because it wasn't all in my head, I really did try my best and it just wasn't working right on my dumb-ass autistic brain. I keep forgetting there really is a lack of research on autism, and especially in women, and how our brains function. I forget I'm not "normal" and I can't be fixed in a "normal" way.
I feel let down by the medical health professionals here, I'm not sure what to do or where to go next. But at least now I understand that they don't actually know what's best for me, and they probably can't help me. I know I need to find something else. And to actually listen to myself when I think something isn't working for me. Sorry for vent.
What is it exactly with planning that you're stuck on?
For some general advice, find a planner setup that is the most convenient for you as possible. If it's going to distract or demotivate you, don't bother with the frilly extras. I had years of failed bullet journal attempts because I so badly wanted pretty personalized aesthetic spreads but every time it became an exhausting chore that I dreaded. Finally I accepted that style of planning is not for me, and now I use a simple structured planner with just the basics (monthly overview and week to week pages). If you're really worried about time management, you could get a planner that lets you plan by the hour.
Planning by hour is what terrifies me… even though I know I should and it's easier now that I have a 9 to 5 job. I'm not sure why. Maybe it stresses me out because I carry in my mind so many things that I should/want to do and I cannot decide on anything, because there is not enough time? And that's not even taking into account chores. I think that's the main problem, deciding on what to focus. Also I'm scared of being a slave to my schedule, even though it makes zero sense>>919196>>919267
I've been meaning to look into Bujo forever, but of course I've procrastinated it (kek). The BossedUp planner also sounds good, will check it as well! I really want to have my shit together
Ugh, I know exactly how you feel being paralyzed by choices and doing nothing at all instead. It's the most frustrating thing ever.
Idk if you're the same way, but one huge thing for me has been unlearning the mentality that I must be uber productive every minute of the day or else I'm a horrible lazy useless person, because that was such a huge burden that led to more avoidance for me. I used to be afraid that allowing myself to be "lazy" would lead to me letting myself go, but honestly, it's the opposite. If I have a Saturday to myself, instead of spending the whole day wracked with anxiety over all the different things I could be doing and then start procrastinating, I just let myself…chill out. And when I'm doing nothing because I'm relaxed, not because I'm avoiding the idea of an unpleasant task, eventually I'll get bored and find something to occupy my time.
Sorry for the rambling that wasn't even planning related, I hope you can find a planner that works for you!
Same retard as before >>919128
, totally forgot I already posted here. I would like to ask if any of you have found some solution to the problem of ever-changing hyperfixations? I'm interested in so many things at the same time, I cannot decide what to focus on. I'm afraid of dropping it in the middle. I have so many books to read and films to see. I want to gain knowledge about my super-specific interests! Yet I'm paralyzed by the variety… Someone please tell me there is a way of knocking-off topics of your list one by one>>920166
I feel you so much! I think I chill too much, it's like I'm scared of commiting to anything and 'blocking off my time' while agonizing about not doing anything and wasting it.
It's friday here, so tomorrow I'm finally gonna look into those planners!
nothing. there's no cure. you can try therapy and adhd meds, but it'll only teach you how to cope and mask effectively. there's no cure for the general sense of alienation.
in some countries, it might get you disability bucks depending on the severity. though an official diagnosis can also become a problem depending on your government and insurance system.
you sound annoying, but fun, anon. keep it up. I used to be like you until I tried too hard to be normal and less of a "liability". now "what's the socially appropriate way to react to x" is my special interest and I'm annoying and
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I thought I might have ADHD or autism, but after reading the symptoms of dyspraxia I realized it describes me really well. I have so many memories of being bullied as a kid for behaving like this that I get a bit triggered
when I research this. https://www.dyspraxia.ie/Adults-with-Dyspraxia-DCD
Confirmed asperger, but only found out about this after everybody considered me to be crazy or evil for 17 years. Even the 8 psychiatrists that tried to analyse me didn't get it or didn't know what autism is (it was the 90s and early 00s).
I think what kills me the most is the inability to be around people without causing hate and trouble. No matter how hard I try, I just always make others mad and even when I sit down to analyse what I said I cannot grasp what the problem is and everybody gets even madder if you ask them about it.
Same with wrong interpretations. Lots of people assume I mean things differently. I always tell everybody that I am too dumb and lazy to not be honest, I rarely talk because I am either not interested in socializing or because I want to avoid trouble, but when I do I always bluntly say what I think and yet people always try to interpret some hidden meaning or passive aggression into this.
I mainly have this problem with western women for some reason, despite being one as well, so most of my friends or people I dare to talk to are men or non-western women on the net. I love discussing things and telling my point of view on a thing, but I noticed that this is often seen as attack which is something I don't get. People expect you to not say anything at all after they said something. No opinion, no discussion, not even telling them that you had a similar experience (even that is seen as lack of respect for some reason I think). But without these I don't know what to say. So I always listen and get irritated that saying anything might make others angry and either talk regardless (and make them angry) or supress the need to talk and don't react at all which might also get interpreteted wrong sometimes. I made me resent socialising.
And personally I dislike representation because I feel like it's never done right. It's either super safe autists everybody loves even when you know they would hate an actual autist in real life or fictional autists are outright kanner autists that can't talk and act like toddlers. The only good autist "representation" are characters that are only coincidentally coming off as autistic. It usually happens with villains since villains share a bunch of alien or non-social traits I have, since they are supposed to be lonely anti-social weirdos in most cases.
Being brutally honest can come off as asshole-ish to normies. Context matters, not every situation needs your blunt opinion. Being quiet puts people off majorly as well. To them it seems like you either don't deem them worthy of interacting with - you're a stuck up bitch or it reads as shy and pathetic. Saying you had a similar experience to someone can make it seem like you want to turn the conversation on yourself. People view that as selfish and like you don't care about them and don't want to listen to what they have to say. You can show empathy in different ways than relating it to your own experiences. When you don't know what to say, ask questions because people love talking about themselves.
I'm sorry if this comes off patronizing or something, but some little things stuck out to me.
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I have bipolar 1 and sometimes I like to tell myself it makes me a better writer, but I often feel that wishful thinking. I'm on a few meds and have a bit of a drinking problem atm, therapy tomorrow tho so she should set me back on the right path. We shall see
Yeah but it makes things so complicated. So basically "everything is wrong aside from asking more questions"?
I don't feel like this can even become a genuine conversation. Sure it make sense when it's venting. If someone was telling others that their best friend has just died it makes sense avoiding a topic change or own experiences. But otherwise a dialogue cannot develop if one of them is just the person asking questions and the other one the guy that talks, that would be an interview instead.
But I notice this with normals a lot, just as the reply-bot reactions as I call them. One person is endlessly talking about themself (sometimes for hours) and the other one replies with the same four exclamations. Usually "OOH", "Great!!!" or, if it's something negative they say "OH NO" and "OMG…". I recently listened to what two of my colleagues were talking and it was literally this. One dude described the most boring stuff about his life in detail and the other colleague onstantly reacted with one of the first two options like some broken record.
! I just got off them. I was on it eventually to 60mg but had a bad reaction with another drug and was very suicidal for a couple weeks.
Getting off them sucks so hard especially if you already have stomach problems. Nausea and stuff.
I was only on it for a couple months and it did help a bit with depression but nothing for the pain aspects. That's just me though
How long have you been taking it? Where you taking anything before?
I got super stressed in the first weeks with 36(?), but it was "normal" thoughts and anxiety. I noticed the same with bupropion.
IQ is actually the one thing in psychology that's been proven to be rock fucking solid. Intelligence is adaptability and problem solving skills and that's exactly what IQ questions test.
Some psychologists tried to differentiate between several different types of intelligence (like EQ and all of that), and while the idea was interesting, it turns out all those are just different expressions of one base phenomenon, which is intelligence as defined by IQ. (This is how it was found : each time they tried to test for logical intelligence vs spatial intelligence and all of those different abilities, those that had one turned out to have the others as well, ie all of this is one thing.)
It's just a really bitter pill to swallow so pop psychologists largely ignore it, but the psychometrics are there>>942934
well they're not bad per se, they were designed by the left to grant access to qualified positions to intelligent but poor people. I benefitted from them in my country.
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>>942942>IQ is actually the one thing in psychology that's been proven to be rock fucking solid
It’s about as rock fucking solid as your train collection and komaeda obsession, you infj-autist. You’re 2 smurt to handle I can’t ahh my brain is exploding yes your greentext about a dead historical war criminal is so enlightening
Your IQ test results can heterogen or homogen. You can have very good language intelligence and bad arithmethic one. So you can be still gifted and bad in some intelligence domains.>>943063>>942919
Yes IQ tests are flawed. Yes, the only thing that IQ tests represent absolutely accurately, is the ability to resolve IQ tests. However, because something is flawed, doesn't mean that it has no value. If anything, it's an indicator of intelligence (or lack thereof). You cannot have rock hard accurate results for an abstract concept such as intelligence, that itself has several definitions. IQ tests are still useful, and got improved greatly, since they were invented a century ago, as our understanding of human intelligence did. Now give me a better intelligence indicator that IQ tests ? You can't, because we haven't come up with anything better yet.>>942947
Thanks for the advice, this exactly what I'm doing : pushing myself to maintain friendships and such, aswell as working on projects that matter to me. However, time is scarce for all of that when you have a full time job.
Remember : relativism and hypercriticism are traps for your mind
I don’t know if youve tried this before, but I’ve had a similar issue and my go to is eating a breakfast with some kind of fat in it, drinking water, and then hitting the coffee or tea or doing some quick yoga stretches when I start to feel the crash.
Also, changing up your diet to healthier than usual helps immensely.
To add, it's important to keep things small and concise, and that the pages have variation for heading styling and colours to make it easier to read and therefore easier to notice how much you have accomplished. Here's my usual page:
MONDAY (in a different colour for each day, making a gradient for the weeks headings, if monday is red, tuesday will be pink, wednesday orange, etc)
o Clean dishes (when finished make o into x, if failed to complete o is turned into > as in add to tomorrows schedule)
Water - 6 pictures of cups (colour in with blue as water is drunk throughout the day)
I'm unmediated AHDH and here is what works for me: I keep a note open on my laptop with a list of everything to do that day, even small things like take the trash out. At the end of the day, I transfer unfinished things to the next day. Whenever I feel like I don't know what I should be doing, I refer to the list.
I also find it helpful to minimise clutter and only keep things out that I should be doing, so keep your novel editing things as visible as possible.
If there is a place you like to sit, keep all the things you should be doing there and easily within eyesight. For example, keep your food diary and pen in the place where you eat your meals and get into a habit of photographing all your food to record later when you are out.
As for exercising, find things that you can do at home at your own pace and add them to your calendar note to remind you to do it.
Thank you anon for putting in the effort, I will keep that in mind and maybe try again. >>984103
and thanks to you too! Maybe I should start with a note and move on to a bujo later on. I honestly love the idea bujo, but it feels like another thing that I need to worry about. God I hate this, I don't know how it's gotten so bad. I miss the times when I could rely on my brain for at least some of the things that are important to me. I feel like the retards that whine about depression while not doing anything to make it easier, but I have no fucking idea how to dig myself out of this hole (beyond medication + therapy someday if my current group doesn't help).