File: 1592434820755.jpeg (24.76 KB, 494x627, 861922F4-825A-4AAA-B78A-4DAB5E…)
No. 571664
File: 1592439529420.png (104.66 KB, 275x230, 1535675163360.png)
I know I am no use to anyone right now, I am in no situation for this, mentally nor physically but I WANT A GIRLFRIEND SO BAD. My ex was so chaotic and one minute was clearly ashamed to be with me, the next she was throwing fits because I wasn't able to come meet her friends. I just wanna be deep and mushy with a nice giiiiiiiirl, pray for me anons.
No. 571666
File: 1592440385940.jpeg (86.19 KB, 640x637, FFD2A5CB-C548-412B-9D07-16BF78…)
>>571664i know how you feel anon, i'm lonely and no matter how much i hate the idea of a how
toxic a relationship can get and how i don't think id be able to handle it, I still want one. I want affection goddammit
No. 571670
File: 1592440403618.jpg (19.15 KB, 400x293, 3fr7ej.jpg)
I had to find out the my favorite uncle has been in prison for over a year now because of sexual battery towards a minor (16/17 yrs old) and will be serving a 15 year sentence. Horrible but is just a long string of horrible secrets that I will never find out from my own family's mouth because they're all ashamed alcoholics with emotional issues.
I've been in therapy for several years and have a wonderful partner and I'm doing so well in school and this shit just keeps popping up. I feel mostly ok but also so distant because I just healed from some sexual trauma/grooming and suicidal regression that happened in 2018 so…… uncovering old wounds + general family bullshit.
I feel so so sad that the best decision for me is to just move on with my life even though my family is going to be devastated that I want to move away from here. But again, they're all so so toxic and damaged. I need to get away!!! I can see the light, farmers, and I need to keep running towards it!!!
No. 571673
i wish my brain was just…. normal!!!
I want friends but when I'm w/ people (outside my job) my dumb brain goes "yeah but wouldn't u rather be at home…" I still crave connections though and beat myself up after
>>571670I believe in u anon!!! I truly believe in "found families" so I know that one day hopefully you will have a family that you can be proud of and love immensely (and it sounds like you do, with your partner)
No. 571676
>>571675Do you live together?
Are you in therapy for your ED? If so, does he know that you are in therapy? If not, is it possible for you to obtain therapy?
I know it's not a solution for everyone but a third party who you're not related to/dating can be a real help. stay strong <3
No. 571684
>>571676Yeah, we live together. We have separate rooms to do our own thing, like computer stuff, but we sleep in the same bed.
I am, I've been in therapy for it since I was 17 (I'm almost 22 now)… I was hospitalized for my ED at my absolute worst, that was 2 years now and I'm LEAGUES better than I was (I'm not eating 500 calories a day and purging nearly every meal, or cutting myself when I eat too much, for example.. )
No. 571686
>>571684anon, that's really great progress and I'm proud of you. i don't know how much the validation of internet strangers means to you, but another person on this earth is thinking of you and really - I am proud of you!!! EDs are tough stuff.
what specifically did he say about your ED? how long have you been together? how is his communication (about stuff other than your ED - like paying rent, hanging out with friends, making meals)
No. 571711
Well I fucked up. Have had a perfect job this last year in a small company (literally 10 people in the building max at a time). Learned a lot in the industry, making good money, tons of skills to add to a resume, etc.
Fell in love with my coworker after having fantastic communication over that period of time. We spent too much time together outside of working and fooled around a few times recently, plan activities, business ideas and trips as well. Sleepovers, meals, hiking, mundane stuff like going grocery shopping. He's not known to have long term relationships when that's typically my thing if it ever gets to the physical level so it's all my fault. All of this is still out of character for him to do; however, don't want to even think of getting my hopes up.
Sooo I'm currently drunk and crying about it. Even the person I dated for 6 years and was engaged to was never this compatible.
I thought relationships would be easier to figure out with age, but now knowing what works, being in situations like this hurts just as much. Going to work is a struggle because seeing his handsome face and hearing the layered jokes is overwhelming at this point. I cannot handle my demeanor or lie around co-workers anymore because it's hard. I want him and that's that.
I fucking hate my head and my heart since they somehow agree that it's the right thing to do for once since he's honestly a beautiful person underneath all the sarcasm and seriousness. Hope it passes before one gets broken and the other has to recuperate.
No. 571713
>>571711Do you feel he's not going to commit to you? He sounds like one of those slick charismatic types, like easy come easy go. Tbh I'd be paranoid that even if he got into a closed relationship with me that he would be liable to fall in love with another coworker as easily. Which is a good argument as to why you shouldn't start or trust people who engage in workplace romance.
Sorry that happened anon, but at least it hasn't destroyed your job. I thought your post was leading up to you being in drama or fired lmao.
No. 571719
>>571713I honestly feel like he would, but since it's not what he does, I don't want to force it if that makes sense? He's a late bloomer, had self esteem issues to work through before losing his virginity at a later age. Better than what I did by seeking people out due to a lack of self esteem lol. But also because of that, I feel like maybe he doesn't know the value of a relationship which sounds ironic considering everything he wants to do together. I don't want to scare him off. Yet as you also noted, what if somehow another person comes in & he's fucking another coworker? I wouldn't be able to handle it and can't risk any part of my work performance being affected.
Thank you for the bit of insight though! It helps ground the feelings somewhat.
No. 571738
>>571675Honestly? Leave and move on. Because sometimes with dudes like this, during and after your recovery, he's going to take credit for it (albeit not being there plus critising & doubting during the relationship) while still giving you shit due to possible relapses or any behaviours he sees tilting in that direction. Since it's so iNcOnVeNiEnT. Why date if he feels that way?
Even if not, GET OUT. Fuck a relationship if the support isn't there. As scary as it is, deal with your problems with a team of people prepared to do so. Friends, therapists, family – hell, even girls on lolcow here and there. You're the top priority, so if a hindrance exists? Get rid of it. All of that love spent on w h o e v e r could be invested in yourself & healing.
No. 571768
File: 1592469096708.jpeg (53.47 KB, 554x553, images (30).jpeg)
Oh God what the fuck anons. One of my friends is confessing to me and it feels so weird, I don't see him that way. He actually kinda asked me to reject him already since he couldn't deal with his feelings anymore. I said 'but don't you alreasy have a gf' and he answered 'just say it'. He didn't want to create expectation and delude himself I guess, he says he's trembling rn and wants to explain himself further. Why the fuck is this happening this is a mess. I feel so bad.
No. 571774
This is gonna be so fucking stupid but it's a vent thread, alright. So, I have an online friend, we been talking to each other for a year now. We don't really talk much, just a 'how u doin' once a month but anyways she asked me to take care of her snap streaks (shes 21) for a week because she is unplugging for a week from the internet so I was like alright sure. Anyways, I open her snapchat and I don't know, I just didn't expect her to have so many friends, well actually I did, she was a total stacy, but like, ugh, she has so many guyfriends, you know, male friends, while posting stories about sex and stuff. I don't know. Rubbed me the wrong way. Like every story of hers was sex related. Maybe because I don't have friends, much less guy friends so I don't get it. It just annoyed me.
No. 571777
>>571759>>571756Anons, in my opinion I don’t think they meant in a bad way. I almost never see catfish used negatively anymore. I think it’s more of a “your photos are so good they must be facetuned!” type deal.
Plus, it’s still a photo of
you so it’s really just a compliment. I’m sure you both look nice irl.
No. 571923
File: 1592501617055.jpg (22.52 KB, 400x400, feefe.jpg)
my social anxiety is so bad that i often start shaking when talking to people. i've tried several medications but i stopped taking them because i had bad side effects and couldn't get things done. also i might have the tism. i don't want to be a hikikomori anymore
No. 571997
File: 1592511226076.png (21.55 KB, 920x853, 75615392874123828-1.png)
>first week of online summer class
>professor wants us all to make a discussion post introducing ourselves with a picture of ourselves
>tells us we need to reply to two other people's posts
>I'm the second person to make a post so my post is at the top
>I wait until two days before it is due to comment on two other people's posts
>I notice that everyone has multiple comments under their posts
>I'm the only one with no comments
>notices that I'm the only ugly one
I'm tired of living in a world where lookism prevails.
No. 572022
>>571768Update: I sent him a detailed message of why we can't be together in a nice way and he proceeds to ignore me.
Guess men truly just want to fuck you and if you don't let them, you become worthless to them. It hurts
No. 572094
File: 1592526733561.png (70.29 KB, 339x355, Howard-the-Duck-screenshots-2-…)
I'm finally home but I miss being abroad,watching cartoons on YouTube delicious homemade food,fat chickens as pets,cleaner air. I miss the ambience over there,now I feel weird and I feel so sentimental I just want to cry so hard but home sweet home I guess?
No. 572109
>>571691 As it gets hotter doing that bike ride will get worse. Can no one give you a ride?
>>571837>I really don't feel pretty anymore>still he keeps saying shit like thatThis man is terrible. He knows he's making you feel like insecure. Are there any other red flags or weird things he does apart from this? If not, tell him to stop. Break up if this and other red flags are still present
>>571886You can do it anon! I don't know about PC gaming, but for both digital and traditional art, the foundations of drawing apply. If you have some foundations and practice traditionally, you're doing great! There are plenty of resources online like in the art salt thread, and other artists could give tips if you know what you want to do (realistic, anime, 3D, etc.) You can also start out with a cheaper tablet under $50 (like XP-pen) without a screen and buy something better later.
No. 572131
File: 1592531862351.jpeg (27.73 KB, 360x258, bratz.jpeg)
So I am staying with my boyfriend at his parents house for the summer and we've been taking great care to clean everything, wear masks, et cetera whenever necessary. They live in a major city, but it's in the twenties on the list of most populous American cities, and the space use isn't really dense even in the downtown area. In any case we are still really careful. Well today my boyfriend invited two of our friends over, and they are having a jam session in the living room while his parents are out. They are still here but they all stopped playing for now, and we are going downtown together soon.
I am getting really pissed off at the carelessness of one of our friends. He said that he couldn't play without socks on so he just took them off without asking, so he's been walking around barefoot and it's making me shrivel up inside. Who knows where his feet have been. He's a pizza deliverer so I know he has to interact with people frequently. What's really been getting to me is that he grabbed one of the spatulas from the kitchen without asking, so that he could use it on his drum kit. I saw my boyfriend look at me for a second as if I should do something about it but I am a fucking guest here too. I know his mother would be fuming if she were here. Also before they started playing, our barefoot friend said that he forgot something in his car so he went outside without his shoes or socks to grab it, then just walked back in thinking nothing of it. I told him that he should have put his shoes on but he laughed it off, saying that humans didn't wear shoes before clothes were invented. Such a stupid cop out. Our friends are sprawling their belongings around everywhere as well, there's a guitar case right next to me on the couch where my boyfriend's dad sometimes falls asleep.
I am just very worried and agitated, and I don't know if I should confront my boyfriend and our friends, or send a text to my boyfriend's mom telling her about what they're doing, and offer to clean their kitchen after we return. Am I overreacting?
No. 572139
File: 1592532412798.jpg (23.15 KB, 400x400, 1591058297767.jpg)
>>571636cant believe people forgot him already.
No. 572153
>>572131>who knows where his feet have been>he's a pizza delivererAnon it's not like he delivers pizza barefoot! Relax, unless you're gonna lick your floors when they leave I'd say foot-to-mouth contact is a very obscure way to catch it.
Wash the spatula. The end.
No. 572176
File: 1592537371909.jpg (447.36 KB, 1280x1701, 2o0zlrd5ccy31.jpg)
I'm having a cystic acne breakout with at least six giant inflamed masses on my face so far.
I don't care, they're here for weeks anyway if past history is proof of anything. So I popped them to relieve some pressure although it's not entirely possible with the way the entire section of tissue is infected. I've been having good skin lately up until now. I wasn't having to wear concealer as usual but now I'll be dotting my face for weeks while the initial infection goes away, and then deal with hyperpigmented patches liable to re-infect for months after.
No. 572190
File: 1592540548934.jpg (25.95 KB, 564x469, 1570992086043.jpg)
>guy literally calls me cute
>always respectful and kind
>"he must be disgusted by me, hates me, and is only hanging with me to make fun of me"
Epic.
Cool to remember I'll never recover from my Papa Problems. It's even the same with women; a girl literally confessed to me then somehow tracked me down years later and I thought "oh she can't actually like me for x stupid reason, time to distance myself again."
How do people even overcome this? I'm tired of being paranoid and pushing people away. Yet I'm also afraid I'll finally be correct and made a fool.
No. 572198
File: 1592542620818.png (327.05 KB, 480x482, gallery-1481840473-screen-shot…)
my friends and family forgot my birthday today. ok.
No. 572211
File: 1592545858726.gif (542.5 KB, 400x392, unnamed.gif)
>>572198Happy birthday anon, hope you are having a good day despite that! As you grow older people become more busy(and shitty) and they tend to forget your birthday. My first boyfriend forgot it and my father hasn't called me in 3 years to wish me a hb lmao.
No. 572224
>>571837>>572109>any other red flags? The only other red flag is him not being over his ex and still talking about how beautiful she is. I even looked her up online to just have a face to that "most beautiful woman on earth" (guess what, she's not) phantom. In my mind I always compare her to me and keep thinking about her, which is really fucked up and stupid and not something I want to do. I even have dreams about her, it's something I really do not want in my life. Such a stupid waste of my time. It's not that I'm jealous or don't want him to think of a meaningful relationship of his, it just hurts that I have that feeling that he adores her looks while he thinks I'm (probably below?) average. (Funny that his ex also had self-esteem issues, wonder if he also talked prettiest-woman-alive down?)
Idk. I should probably just break up or grow some self-esteem.
In the end, I think it's a problem with empathy and being very self-centered.
No. 572237
File: 1592555322711.jpeg (351.66 KB, 828x512, E5AB6DEA-8BF8-42D1-BB92-8AD543…)
>>571997Anon, maybe you’re so cute they felt too intimidated to post.
>>572198Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday to you
Happy birthday, dear anonnnn
Happy birthday to you!
No. 572247
>>572224Hahahaha okay, ntayrt but you need to drop this guy immediately. He'll make you feel like shit about yourself and after constant exposure to that, it can take years for your full self-confidence to recover, even after this relationship inevitably ends.
It's 100% intentionally calculated to hurt you. No guy actually says these comments for benign reasons just because he doesn't understand how it feels to hear them. He understands they hurt you and that's why he says them. This isn't some tolerable small negative trait in a partner lol.
Also, not that it matters but lmfao at a straight man trying to say he finds your tiny waist and wider hips unattractive. That's literally one of the main things men notice about women that makes them go crazy. I bet he just knows you're out of his league.
No. 572270
File: 1592565633617.png (401.85 KB, 640x431, baby seal.png)
>>572198Happy birthday, anon! I hope you spend your day doing something you like.
No. 572445
>>572443Jesus Christ. Glad you're safe (and that the guy didn't get away with his crime), anon. I can't imagine how unnerving it must be to think about that.
Your dad sounds like a dick, he's going to regret being this way someday.
No. 572474
>having really bad mental health week>broken out skin, diet failing, being forced to go back to office from remote, cleanliness lapsing, poor sleep, friends flaking and being user-y, dad being a shite despite cleaning his apartment and already gotten him a gift for Sunday, can't focus at work, racing thoughts, feeling worthless in general, etc.>tell internet bf bc I haven't been in a perky mood and he always comments on it when I'm not bubbly responsive and asks what's wrong >"Hey anon at least I have a three day weekend and we can spend all that time together just think of our uwu times!" ………lmao. Sorry, not to sound ungrateful cause it's likely my anger and depression talking, but I don't find being bespoke to a camera for most of my free hours while I'm not working (I only got Sunday off) while hearing him go off about hobbies I don't care about as truly "being there" for me. Nor do I find it all that relaxing. The reality is he can't do shit for me. We're both old enough to not be that fucking deluded. When he said that it reminded me of high school.
Bitch if you want to make me feel better buy me something nice, order delivery to my apartment, or do anything in your capacity to make my life fucking easier because your words from thousands of miles away don't put food in my mouth or lay my bills.
I want to scream and throw a chair.
>>572443Posts like these make me wonder how many farmers have been murdered by random men or their shitty bfs. One day they just stop posting and we're all none the wiser. Glad it wasn't you anon.
No. 572510
File: 1592606319942.jpeg (59.97 KB, 474x712, th.jpeg)
>>572492fuck, same … I miss the days of Lady Gaga and "I Gotta Feeling" by BEP always being on, that's how bad this tinkly soft boy music is getting to me
No. 572537
>>572501>I'm so deepy annoyed that Belle Delphine is on my feed again.No offense anon but do you only follow a bunch of meme and cumbrain accounts? I didn't even know she was back until my bf sent some meme pic
All I got on my feed were people thirsting after the son of the President of Argentina for some cosplay he did
No. 572544
>>572540please anon, for the sake of everything - leave him. that sounds horrible and terrible for your self-esteem…
i know you work with him and all, but damn that sounds so bleak
No. 572568
>>571636the fact that primink paints some of his subjects as tortured souls fuckin irks me so much because those people have done bad things to people but ~
abusive childhood uwu~
No. 572573
>>572510what the fuck is this image, anon?
I miss bad romance era, rip. spirit cook me back to 2008
No. 572575
File: 1592621834061.png (694.72 KB, 494x594, Coomers_Brain_cell_says.PNG)
>>572550tbh there's so many of these ethots I have no idea how anyone is able to keep track of them. I thought both girls in pic related where the same person…
No. 572579
File: 1592622734255.gif (753.92 KB, 397x562, 1538934355377.gif)
I feel so fucking stupid. I can't stop beating myself up (sometimes literally..) over just..
I never learned like, anything. My 'schooling' was my parents buying me like, "disney learn numbers" type books, and then I was allowed internet access REALLY early on (no younger than like, 5, but no older than 9). That's it. My parents just figured I'd look up what I want to learn, because they didn't want things I didn't want to learn forced on me.
Which.. was fine, for a while, but now I'm sitting here almost twenty two FUCKING years old, trying to get through 2nd grade math and it's beyond confusing and, like, I know I'll get it eventually, but it doesn't help I have ADHD too and I'm currently bouncing from doctor to doctor trying to find medicine for it.
I just feel so stupid. I know it's not my fault and like, I'm not stupid? Once I get what I'm being taught, I learn, sometimes it doesn't stick cause ADHD be like that, but I just get so in my head. I wish I could get a brain injection and at least be insta-taught math, it's my weakest point. It doesn't help halfway through the courses, my brain just starts feeling like it's overstuffed.
No. 572603
>>572579Don't get down on yourself anon. Anyone would have a hard time learning that stuff, kids just have the benefit of extreme neuroplasticity, teachers, their peers, and literally being sat down and forced to do it. It's not an easy thing to do that all on your own.
Also imo sometimes the hardest thing is learning the absolute basics of something and wrapping your head around the core abstract concepts and once you get past that and start really building on your knowledge it gets easier. Programming is like that. I think maybe math could be like that as well.
Also I feel you on trying to get an ADHD diagnosis/meds. It's fucking hard as an adult and especially as a woman.
No. 572606
File: 1592628858823.jpeg (59.05 KB, 300x291, 20D94636-4FC8-4C90-9701-892024…)
I want to improve my art so bad, but I can’t get a consistent schedule where I’m working on it. I think I have some sort of executive dysfunction and ts so hard to structure things myself. I want to get better and I want to make a portfolio but there’s something that blocks me from doing so.
No. 572612
>>572579Okay so, a couple things here.
First of all, math is just straight up not everybody's thing. It's a big fucking pain in the ass. I don't like it either. It's definitely not just that you didn't learn at an early age, nor that you have ADHD. Those factors certainly don't help matters, but please try and give yourself a break. It's not hard to motivate ourselves to learn things that we're not actually interested in. I'm willing to bet that the reason you picked up reading so easily was that you actually like to read. Considering how impeccable your grammar is, I'm guessing you also like to write.
I don't mean to be presumptuous, but judging by your post, it sounds like you're trying to learn math primarily because you're embarrassed by how behind you are in comparison to others, not because you actually like it.
Do you have any other reason for wanting to learn math, aside from this? Are you planning on pursuing college? Do you need it for a job?
No. 572613
File: 1592630406221.png (57.27 KB, 154x130, yukaaa.PNG)
>>571636 my boyfriend has a good relationship with his family while mine is shambles. so around holidays i get kinda glum since i cant hang with family the same way others can. on holidays hes usually busy with them which is not a bad thing, he deserves it. i just get pretty lonely, especially on those days specifically
No. 572630
File: 1592637661575.png (436.43 KB, 840x859, 77321B8B-8492-4964-8E32-19A3A6…)
>Finally update PC feels great to play games and actually type again
>It's overheating easily to the point of shutting off as of late
CAN'T EVEN PLAY A SHITTY GAME OF SHITTY OVERWATCH. IT WAS FINE FOR FIRST 2 WEEKS I FINISHED UPGRADING IT.
FUCK YOU SUMMER
No. 572641
File: 1592640860004.png (480.55 KB, 676x297, Screenshot_2020-06-20 trichoti…)
>>572632hey anon, please do research before you take medical advice from a stranger on an imageboard, but consider looking into N-acetylcysteine. It's a supplement that's available OTC that's apparently been shown to help some people with skin picking and related issues.
https://www.bfrb.org/learn-about-bfrbs/123-n-acetylcysteine-for-trichotillomania-skin-picking-and-nail-biting
>It's hard to care outside of being upset because I feel so shitty though, and I realistically know it'll stop one dayI feel the exact same way about my trich problem (pic related, not me). Which is why I'm considering taking that supplement myself because I don't think I have the energy to do much else.
>>572638still go to therapy tho please, no med is a replacement for that.
No. 572676
File: 1592653106624.jpg (28.34 KB, 320x240, 1402462738919.jpg)
I'm so sick and tired of heaving health anxiety all the fucking time. If I'm not mental about loosing my already weak af teeth in the near future, I go on and on about being 1000% sure that I have cancer. And I'm not in the mood for going to the doctor several times in a short amount of time again. I just want to be healthy - mentally and physically ugh
No. 572680
>>572676shit anon, you're not alone - i have the exact same concerns too kek
but for teeth - im in dental and let me tell you… so many people have shitty teeth, and most of them are younger than you think
try to save some money for dental procedures, but dont stress too much. both my parents are from a shithole country and have gotten teeth pulled as early as 12 and they still dont have dentures in their 50s. its all a matter of money, bridges exist, implants do as well as telescopes (thats a denture you put on two to three teeth per row and is stable, looks good and lasts decades)
i feel you though kek, im in the same boat
No. 572685
>>572684sounds kinda bait-y, but i'll jump
is there any dental work in your mouth rn? or do you have a retainer or something? the swollen lip could be a reaction to that (some people are allergic to the weirdest shit)
or it could be abrasive, the edges on retainers get really jagged over time.
teeth sensitivity can be normal for some people in general, you could have weak enamelum or cavities in between your teeth. consider using a flouride paste once a week afte your regular brushing to strengthen the enamelum and floss!
this is going to sound disgusting, but it works: floss for a week and smell the floss - if it smells bad for days in a row, you probably have a cavity
if you already have dental work done, it could simply be the work that conducts the cold too quickly and too close to your dentine
one of my old mentors always said that a gold tooth doesnt kill you and worrying too much about it is worse than getting a filling.
No. 572687
>>571684Tooth infections are no joke anon - listen, sometimes dental colleges will look you over for free/cheap as a way for students to practice. Is that at all possible? I don't know how they're doing with social distancing though…
Some walk-in clinics offer dental care and I've found they're cheaper than doctors sometimes. I assume you don't have insurance, but please know that there are medical places will offer you payment plans if you ask. But you have to ask.
When I was 16 we were poor as fuck with no insurance and I needed a root canal pretty badly. I was able to find some tiny dentist practice an hour from me where I think the front desk girl saw I looked disheveled as fuck with no insurance and I think she quietly reduced my bill by a major amount. I think it's worth calling around and talking to the front desks and seeing if there's anything that can be done. It's better than doing nothing, anyway.
I hope he will be okay. This too(th) shall pass anon.
No. 572688
File: 1592656367035.png (159.76 KB, 493x312, large_13d959c1a79de63b99bd4948…)
i can't improve my social skills without talking to people, but i wish i could and not exit every conversation with faux pas running through my head like horses. enacting a filter doesn't help. i end up boring the other party, or reacting too slow. not give a fuck? fuck, even the simple explanation of "muh anxiety" sounds too bloggy for the cyberspace. so glad lockdown gives me an excuse not to see people irl. the tension grows twofold. i wanna give every cool person i've met online selective amnesia that erases my existence, no matter how mundane the thought is, if it even crossed. or simply stop being. that's cool too.
No. 572691
>>572689huh, that sounds a bit odd, yes. tooth pain has a tendency to spread into the head/ear, so that could really be true.
like
>>572687 said, please have it checked for your own safety (tooth abscesses can kill, no joke) and sanity. i hate going to the dentist as much as the next person and it makes me terribly nervous, but going at least once a year is necessary. you can do this.
there is no shame in having 'bad teeth' and nowadays there are beautiful ceramic restorations… hell my mom gets excited when she gets a new bridge because it looks that good. the only issue is usually money
No. 572705
>>572680Glad to hear that I'm not the only who has those fears lmao but this shit is so annoying. I already got tons of dental work done but I can't help that I got my mum's weak ass teeth. It also does not help at all that so many in my family lost their teeth or had cancer to fuel the other fear of mine.
I know you can teleschope dentures (already looked up just in case things get serious lol) but sometimes the procedure scares me more than anything else (I've just read an article of a woman who got them and said it was a pain in the ass to get used to everything ugh). It's also that I took some stuff not as serious as I should've in terms of my dental health and now I have panic that I fucked myself with that … idk this thinking pattern makes me go cray at least several times a day lmao
No. 572713
I'm pissed because the psychiatrist gave SSRIs instead of buproprion. This medication gives me patience to deal with my family (if I skip a day I start talking back, and we can't have that can we). But my anxiety is still through the roof, I can't deal with people outside, my concentration is fucked and I'm always always so, so fucking tired. No coffee, naps, suplements or salt can fix this fucking sleepiness that I have since I was fucking 13!
Buproprion wasn't a miracle cure, but I didn't feel so fucking exhausted all the time. I don't have the balls to talk with the therapist because I can't trust her but my mother does. And my family doesn't want me medicated and the SSRIs are their only allowance at the moment.
They have the usual fears: that meds are for weak people, and problems should be solved by strapping bootstraps or wtv. Bitch, I'm 27 and still 3 fucking years of finishing college. The people that started with me are on their 2nd year of work, and I'm still struggling along, passing with the bare minimum. What's the fucking point of dealing with this shit by myself if I'm still a failure? What the fuck do I care if my brain melts from medication in my 60's if my live is shit and has been shit for the last decade?
But SSRIs are fine, because the doctor told so, I they keep me quiet and playful and obedient around my mother. I maybe a wreck in all other areas of my life, but as long as mother is happy everything is perfect. Fuck what I want or how I feel or how my life goes.
I feel spoiled for resenting the mother that raised me all by herself and pays for my education, but holy shit, I'm nothing to her except a retirement fund, a obedient doll to go to her dream job, dress the clothes she likes, do the things she likes, say the things she wants. Every time I say no: I'm a piece of shit, just like my father; I'm going to end up alone, just like my father; I'm a terrible selfish person, that's why I have no friends; she is the only that loves me, and she wants to fix my bad nature, because my badness is all from my genes, I'm only my fathers daughter and I'm just a beast like he was.
No. 572752
File: 1592669103796.jpg (56.93 KB, 1600x900, cover6.jpg)
>>572749>never been into Tangled>google lyrics to song>shitYou're not alone with these feels, anon.
No. 572759
>>572750wait why the fuck are there three? I know in the US they usually have one, here in Aus theres 0 bibles, all pamphlets.
three fucken bibles dude what a trip. update us with what you decide to do with the other two. may I suggest throwing one onto the roof and using the other's b e s p o k e paper for rollies?
No. 572760
>>572746For fucking real. It's absolutely absurd. Idk which is scarier, the thought that most of these people DIDN'T read her tweets/essay and are just reacting to other people's inaccurate characterizations of what she said or that they did and they're still saying "WHY DO YOU THINK ALL TRANS PEOPLE SHOULD LITERALLY NOT EXIST". And it's even more sad to me because her essay was one of the best, most reasonable and non-inflammatory statements of trans-critical thought that I've read.
Also the way that people are acting like Harry Potter is ruined/cancelled now. Like. Jfc. Silver lining is that she surely opened some people's minds, and it's kinda badass that since she's sitting on a fat billion dollars she can be honest like that in the public sphere.
>>572750There are a couple religious "charities"/organizations that give bibles to hotels. They're in a lot of them, not just Marriotts. Very weird but be assured it is a thing.
No. 572766
File: 1592672946729.jpg (36.54 KB, 500x366, 1454857686099.jpg)
>boy starts talking to me in class
>we both like anime, I have no friends in this college, so why not
>we keep talking and hanging out during class and class outings
>we exchange instagrams
>he is a she/her trans uwu pansexual furry
>god why
I had lots of friends and socialized easily in highschool, but during college no one has really interested and I've made no new friends, and the only time I decided to bother, it's a tranny. It's like lesbian tinder but this time irl
I did not pick up on him being a tranny at all, he has such a fat man body, his only attempts of passing was growing his hair out to above his shoulders, that's literally it. Sometimes he would wear comically small dresses to class, but I thought he was just a gay man who didn't care about gendered clothing
I'm so glad he's changing course so I can ignore him much easier, I'm just praying to make friends in uni, I don't know what I'm going to do if I don't manage to find a girlfriend in that time either. I feel like a fake lesbian for never having interest in any girls in my school, I only see cute girls on the street occasionally, or maybe I've just been conditioned by heterosexuals that I'm supposed to have had several relationships by age 18
No. 572778
>>572766I was in your position once, being a teenage lesbian with little to no dating/sexual experience and I was super insecure and anxious about it. I really felt like I was going to be fucked for life if I didn't mark off those milestones ASAP in high school (American HS I mean). I can tell you now that it is 100% heterosexual/media conditioning and there is absolutely nothing wrong with having 0 experience going into college, no matter what your sexuality is. I was so desperate about it I got myself into several rushed/weird/forced situations with, frankly, whoever was available, and I don't really look back on those memories fondly. I also wasted so much time being miserable and hyperfocusing on it that I could have used in so many other ways that would have been far more enriching to me as a person.
There's nothing wrong with dating in high school of course, but I wish I could go back and tell my younger self that there's also nothing wrong with not dating. It's probably annoying to hear this, but now at 22 it's so clear to me that I was still a kid when I was in HS and all of that stuff is simply not necessary, your own self development and mental health is vastly more important. Sorry if I'm being presumptuous but if I can pass that advice onto anyone I'll take the chance.
ot but, I feel like it was weirdly harmful in a way to me going through tweenhood and teenhood right as LGBT teenagers were really coming into the cultural and media spotlight. Shows like Glee that featured highschoolers in gay relationships, Tumblr, Lady Gaga, etc. Obviously there were a lot of good things about this level of cultural exposure but it sort of put this pressure on me to date in high school (especially shit like Glee my god seeing the lesbian characters made me feel so bad about myself for not having a gf) and also just to be kind of a more fully formed and confident gay person than I really was. Idk, weird opinion, I wonder if anyone else feels that way.
No. 572779
File: 1592675036090.gif (61.46 KB, 400x611, 1591381709106.gif)
i want to go back in time so much it makes me want to throw up sometimes
i want to know who I could have been without all the bullshit
No. 572782
File: 1592675951862.jpg (68.12 KB, 752x795, 1591199007031.jpg)
i keep thinking i'm ready to call out my abusive, predatory (if not downright pedophilic) ex since i've realized some things he'd casually told me about during our "relationship" when i was 17 and he was 24 don't sit right with me. they make me worried i wasn't the only one. he thinks i've forgiven him for the things he did but i still live with it every day while he goes on to have a "normal" life with his apologist gf. when i was 18, i reached out to tell her everything he'd done after learning from coworkers that he'd been with her the entire almost-year he was also fucking around with me. she'd read it and never replied but he was furious. somehow they're still together to this day.
he wants to go to grad school for music, which makes me worried that he'd become a teacher – despite him having told me he shadowed a middle school music teacher in college and when an eighth-grade girl "tried flirting with [him]" he knew that wasn't the career for him. he'd also helped out his enabling best friend/roommate at the time with running youth groups and would tell me about some 16-year-old girl there having a crush on him when we'd just started sleeping together. he stopped going after she "tripped" into his lap once.
i don't know that this would ruin his life even a little bit considering his gf's daddy holds some high position in the company he works for. he'd told me in the past that he's shit at his job and gets written up every now and again, though, so they may want to fire him anyway and just need a push? his place of work and city is public on fb and he uses the same handle everywhere. i'm a little scared that his daddy's money law school gf would try to sue me somehow, but then she'd probably have to let the cat out of the bag to her family.
i've written up a letter of sorts detailing everything but something is stopping me from posting it.
No. 572789
File: 1592677829362.gif (1.39 MB, 245x220, swanson.gif)
Before quarantine, I would experience loneliness like once a month and go to the theater solo to treat it. The guy I've been with for a good minute is uncomfortable with being the "only source of emotional comfort" during this time, but wanted to make me happy so tried to set me up on a playdate with his friend a week ago. It went fine, but hanging out with people 1-on-1 is weird for me and I haven't texted her since.
Now he's suggesting I hang out with our very similar friend, but honestly I feel like we vibe so similarly that it would make us both happy to continue not hanging out lolololol.
I guess he wants someone I can vent my feelings to, and I /do/ have friends I can vent to, but I don't feel the need to have more than one person designated for this at a time. Does anyone else feel this way? Is this wrong?
No. 572802
File: 1592678736571.jpg (107.11 KB, 1287x1930, Fry-The-Great-Sadness-of-Ben-A…)
i wake up everyday feeling like creamed dogshit. i'm really lonely, have no hobbies but appear normal and functioning on the outside. i wish someone would ask me if i'm ok but mental health is basically dismissed here. i would probably be doing amazing right now if i wasn't born into this family.
No. 572806
File: 1592679116285.jpg (65.08 KB, 353x512, 7f98162c2cf9530337e07aa6f226ef…)
>>572779fuck I feel this post so hard anon I could make everything better JUST LET ME GO BACK
No. 572812
>>572798Thanks for that validation, anon. Can't wait to go to the movies again.
>>572804I don't think I do atm. I used to go to therapy and it still helps in my life years later, but my mental state is relatively stable now– I might get one for day-to-day after they open, though. It's something to think about! Thanks, anon.
No. 572862
>>572778NTA but this
triggered my vent
>Be a gay as gay can be tomboy bitch since fucking childhood but too much of a dense boomer to accept it>Try to fit myself into the hetero mold all my teenage years>Shit luck with men, become traumatized and repulsed by them, stay a virgin because the thought of being sexual with men makes me want to heave>Meet cute girls in my early to mid 20's who want to get it on with me, still too much of a "haha I'm not gay" to take it further and reject them>Now I'm turning 30, realized recently that I really am a lesbian and I'm not going to grow out of it but all other gay women have either long term partners, trooned out or grew out of their bicurious phase and settled with men in a traditional heteronormative relationship >Because of these factors I get no sex, no dating, no nothing, I'd kill for intimate (physical or not) contact with someone, I swear if I was a millionaire I'd get a sugar baby or somethingI'm never going to forgive myself for not dating that one gorgeous girl who was head over heels for me and rightfully ghosted me once I turned her down. Hand me the rope anons
No. 572890
>>572879That's absolutely not physically possible. Your body couldn't take it, you'd be sick as hell downing 3000. A human body can take in roughly the double of its calorie requirement until the digestion system stops accepting it, and even then most of it wouldn't be absorbed because it'd be an impossible task for your intestines. You'd be vomiting and having diarrhea due to your body trying to expel all the extra matter it doesn't have the capacity for processing. It's probably possible for you to gain 2 pounds a week at
most.
No. 572936
File: 1592701934348.jpg (10.57 KB, 196x257, 838a750efb3b8d14bb26a54196ed42…)
This dude I'm into smokes weed lightly and, though I don't actually care too much (despite being one of those nuts who doesn't even drink), I know there's a chance my mom would shoot him down for it and forbid me from dating him. I'm holding out for her getting to know/like him so she'll simply nag him lmao. Wish I wasn't such a momma's girl but I also love her and she's a great mom so it's tough.
I also hope it doesn't turn him off of me eventually. He says he thinks it's cool/cute that I'm so radically uninvolved with substances but I do fear he'd prefer a partner who would partake in similar activities.
And I'm in looooove. Makes me a chump.
No. 572955
>>572947>They just care if you're hotlmao you're probably right. I forgot that common interests are often just "enhancers" for women they already find attractive
And we have many others (or else I wouldn't feel such a way) so it's probably fine.
>>572951I hope you're right!
No. 572962
>>571900When I was the same age, around third grade or so, I also played a lot with toys sexually, and TWO of my (also female) friends tried to force me to do strange sexual things with them, like rubbing ourselves against each other or letting her brother touch our boobs stuffed with the socks. I hate thinking about it.
Anyway, my point is, somehow all my friends knew about sex at that age.
No. 573008
>>573001Abortions aren’t safe either. It’s a risky process and may be physically and mentally scarring to the one obtaining it.
But y’know: “muh body muh choice!”
No. 573017
File: 1592718449795.jpg (309.25 KB, 845x1166, 1589975240193.jpg)
Man i keep thinking about dropping out of college and just killing myself.
Im really scared of my future since Ive been reading that animators get paid shitty prices especially in my country where we get outsourced and payment is like what? $6 for one colored bg.
Idk what will happen to me at this point I dont even want to know nor find out. I just wish i didn't exist
No. 573020
File: 1592720420014.jpeg (137.35 KB, 686x864, DC18B137-72DB-4902-A330-B8EE96…)
I made a friend on an MMO who turned out to live in my city, but she turns out to be a total mentally ill bitch. I don’t have any friends but was genuinely excited but now she flips out on me for nothing when I don’t even know her that well. Plus she’s told me she’s an “empath” and a clairvoyant so I know she’s batshit, plus she thinks she’s gonna be a kpop star, model, voice actress etc. It feels a little narc-y to me. Plus when I mentioned I was recovering from an ED she has to constantly slip into conversations that she’s a naturally underweight anachan princess even though she “totally eats all day!!” Fuck my life. I feel like I just attract basketcases.
No. 573023
File: 1592720667565.jpg (372.29 KB, 1600x1128, d40c98f3a9fb2e7bfa2394d73b2755…)
I hate how fucking stupid I was as a young teen. The fact that nudes of me at around age 14-15 are forever on the internet somewhere, as well as photos of my face attached, along with my horrible personality pasted on the internet, is something I have to live with forever. People tell me I was being groomed, but it feels like I was asking for it. It feels like it was my fault for taking the pictures in the first place, and that it was my choice doing so, even though it was 20+ year old men telling me to do it and threatening me if I didn't. I can't stop thinking that it's definitely my fault and my choice to make those mistakes. I'm terrified to even put my face on social media even more, because what if someone recognizes me and spreads pictures again? I deserve this shit.
And yet, other girls who have been through the same thing as me, I can't even fathom thinking it's their fault. It seems so insensitive to feel that way towards other people, but not to myself.
God, I fucking hate myself. But I hate hating myself. I wish I could take back time. Yeah, it happened several years ago, and most people forgot about me and my body.. but I can't live down the shame.
No. 573024
>>573023You can't make social media and enjoy yourself on the internet on the off chance that someone would recognize 14 year old you or even come across your nudes…..
Calm down anon. Plus that's CP, report it.
No. 573031
>>573030Maybe guilt is part of her trauma. And maybe she could use some empathy.
Why are anons being such retards lately?
No. 573033
>>573031It just reeks of emotional manipulation. I've seen this post countless times, and it was like:
>I know x is not true but I feel it is, pls reassure me anonsLike fuck off.
No. 573034
>>573033Feeling guilt is a standard response to abuse, I don't think it's a manipulative statement from a
victim.
No. 573055
>>573033Literally what is wrong with you? Which personality disorder do you have yourself? Feeling guilt over being abused is textbook coping behavior, the
victim tries to reassure themselves that they could've had control over the situation but just chose not to do it, even when in reality there's really not a lot of things they could've done.
>>573031>Why are anons being such retards lately?It feels like they're either baiting deliberately or
scroteposting No. 573064
>>573061if you have depression, that might influence the way you eat. maybe getting on antidepressants would help.
but what helps most is portion control. don't actually starve yourself but you'll feel hungry, that's normal.
also, work out. work OUT. body project has good videos for beginners and they encourage you to go at your own pace.
cook before the workout so you don't overeat though; whenever i work out my body wants me to eat tons of carbs and i'm not even an overeater/overweight.
No. 573067
>>573033Even if she came here looking for empathy… Why on earth does that hit a nerve with you Anon?
Yes people want reassurance after shit like that happens to them.
No. 573069
>>573062>>573064I was being retarded in my vent but I've calmed down a bit.
At this point it's not a matter of whether I want it enough, my weight puts me at high risk for diabetes and I do not want to be on medication for the rest of my life.
It's just a matter of forcing myself. I have the means, I can do it.
No. 573073
>>573061basically: losing weight requires a lifestyle change. the vast majority of people who starve or diet do it in intervals because they gain the weight back. it happened to me too. i was 220 lbs when i was 15 and maintained ~120 with healthier food staples and an active lifestyle.
i gained 60 lbs back last year because i moved to a different continent and am living with my boyfriend. months of being sedentary and eating shit. the weight started coming off once i changed my lifestyle though.
i think it's important to have a reason to change your lifestyle. try watching what the health or forks over knives. hopefully they will inspire you to make better choices. once you start eating healthier the rest will come easier. research healthy meals etc. don't buy shit you don't wanna binge. it's incredibly hard to eat large amounts of healthy food. eg, if you have 2 huge portions, one of mac and cheese, one of potato chicken and veg, it's going to be easier to eat the mac and cheese.
brain over binge is also a great book and will help you become more aware of that side of your brain that wants to consume more.
lastly, social media is an echo chamber and you can use this to your advantage. so if you surround yourself with people who inspire you to make better choices it should be easier for you. i found getting into a healthy lifestyle easier once i started getting invested in a few fitness youtubers.
good luck anon i hope this helps. you will feel so much better once you eat healthier and have a reason for it. my apologies if this sounds like a bunch of shit, my mental broke after my last reply got deleted kek
No. 573080
>>573034>>573041>>573055>>573067You seem
triggered that I called out an attention seeker, maybe it's cause you're attention seekers yourselves!
No. 573102
>>573033So, they're emotionally manipulating anonymous people on imageboards they can only be sure they're talking to in that one instance? While they're also anonymous themselves?
What do you think they're going to trick us into doing, sending them $5 for every reply they get? Do you have any more hot takes on the (You) industrial complex?
No. 573118
>>573093I said
yourselves, not yourself. I know there are more of you.
No. 573122
>>573080You're the only
triggered one here, It takes two seconds to say something supportive to an anon and takes more energy to argue with you..so who here is being manipulative and attention seeking? kek
No. 573160
File: 1592747213198.jpeg (7.73 KB, 299x168, download.jpeg)
I found out the name of one of my paternal grandparent's today, only because my narcissist mom who I don't speak with sent it to me in the mail with a note "Thought you might want this. If not throw it out." I'd guess the picture is from the 1920s, she's a little girl in it.
Never knew my paternal grandparents, they died before I was born I think. No one ever told me anything about them, not even bio dad who I stopped seeing at 13. No one ever talked to me about family history in general, so I learned not to care. I don't really get why she sent this to me other than to be passive aggressive near father's day. I don't want the picture as I knew nothing about this woman, but something about throwing out the picture of a little girl got me feeling a certain way to not want to do it.
No. 573174
>>573165I feel this, my mom is dead so mothers day is just painful and my abuser is on my dads side of the family. Based on those two things I haven't enjoyed a special holiday in years, all those days are painful reminders and it's hard watch others celebrate.
My ex had two wonderful parents, both alive, healthy and very involved, always going out of their way to help him out. He bitched whenever mothers or fathers day came around and he had to buy them gifts..
No. 573214
File: 1592755501092.jpg (92.14 KB, 1440x1715, b80.jpg)
I fucking hate people who throw pity parties about how "wahhh nobody understands me, stop being mean to me, I'm only an asshole because of MUH TRAUMA, did you ever consider that?" and yet never stop to consider that the people around them could also have trauma or other baggage too. It's a two-way street, so don't expect other people to empathize with your struggles when you can't extend the same courtesy. Just because somebody doesn't flaunt how traumatized or mentally ill they are like a fucking trophy doesn't mean they're not struggling with shit too.
No. 573225
File: 1592758611113.png (Spoiler Image,583.49 KB, 800x1200, 445.png)
Sometimes before taking a bath I look at my naked self in the mirror and think I have a pretty good body, even tho I'm so short. I really like my waist. But then I feel bad for still being a virgin and kinda 'wasting' it because I'm retarded and push people away out of fear and anxiety. I plan to change this after quarantine
No. 573248
>>572978Do you have a job? Honestly adult relationships for me start at work. I haven't kept in touch with any of my friends when I was younger, if it makes you feel better. It's just how it be sometimes.
Here's a video that helped me, hope it does for you too!
No. 573281
>>573274feel free to slide those bars my way anon…
but speaking from personal experience, psych meds should only ever be used as short term last resort. i know people will disagree but i have actually taken everything under the sun since 12 years old. i actually think it's cool of you to stay your ground, bpdfags I know jump at the chance to get their brain obliterated by chemicals because it's aesthetic or something.
No. 573287
File: 1592769503094.jpg (35 KB, 275x183, 1580154247568.jpg)
I wish I lived alone and had a nice barbeque to go to today, instead I'm dropping flowers off at my dad's grave then having some drinks with my own food probably. I also wish I could actually say how I feel about dead parents without people making it feel awkward or coming off weird. Fuck I miss them.
No. 573325
File: 1592774873224.jpg (36.59 KB, 800x534, crie.jpg)
I love chicken wings and want to order some but my digestive system is literally out of whack for 48 hours as a consequence
No. 573348
>>573051Yeah, it is pretty fucking funny but sucks to deal with. If she had a bigger online presence outside of Discord and video games she would be a massive cow. Definitely gonna try to let her off easy because she's so fucing unstable and wouldn't want her like, trying to find me in public or something.
>>573053I haven't met in person her or anything lol. We just started talking about regional stuff unique to where we live and she told me the city, and of fucking course it has to be mine. I told her I don't know her well enough to even start thinking about meeting up in person. Otherwise I've met some pretty nice people on MMOs, some are mentally ill yeah but if they're keeping it in check (she obviously isn't) I don't really care.
No. 573438
File: 1592805297806.jpg (23.24 KB, 500x500, 6546841547.jpg)
worried about my younger brother, he really wants to have a career as a musician and he barely works on his music and has no creative vision despite being pretty skilled at production, at least imo. I got him a job at my workplace that pays a lot for an entry level job and he's constantly doing dumb shit, making dumb mistakes, calling out for stupid reasons, etc., and I know it's because he's banking everything on this fantasy career and doesn't give a shit about any other opportunities or whatever bridges he might burn. I want to tell him that he lacks money, status, connections, looks, and charisma, all which put him at a massive disadvantage despite the years he's put into learning his craft, but I don't want him to get salty. Idk I just think learning to prioritize something aside from his immediate wants and desires might be good for him. At the same time hes wanted this since he was 12, I remember him as a kid sperging about random music he discovered, pirating FL studio for him, etc. I want him to succeed I just don't think he has what it takes and I feel like the sooner he realizes that, the better.
No. 573449
i hate my mom's boyfriend. this racist MAGA piece of shit just came into my mom's life, in the year of 2019, and she's now acting like a teenage girl in love. he fucking disregard george floyd's death, with some incomprehensible excuse, and is now backtracking his words when mom's disagrees with his views by saying the "cops are paired up in twos and if one of them does something wrong, the other reprimand them." He's also a cop, well former cause he retired like in the early months of last year.
And now this asshole is going live with us, and when? idk. i feel like the pandemic is a blessing in disguise cause he planned to be here in may. and we don't live close. it takes 14 hours by plane to get to our place since we live in a different country. and mom admired his impulsive decision to sell his house (which he is renovating at the moment), had already sold most of his things and ditch his pets (which he supposed to love with all his heart) to his daughter so he can permanently attached himself to my mom on the hips.
i don't even know what's he gonna do once he lives here. my mom planned on them to live in an apartment but that's redundant (for reasons i cannot speak atm cause this is another issue, mostly about my mom than him)
he's currently going to stay at his daughter's apartment until… idk. when the pandemic is over? it might take years and while i don't follow much american politics, the country is in deep shet with their growing cases and people acting stupid as if wearing a mask is detrimental to their rights.
and also, while he does care for the pandemic it doesn't mean he acts upon what he says. he still goes to casinos, parties and fishing with his friends and family with a reason that his state already lightened the lockdown. ALSO, if he does come here, he doesn't want to be quarantined for 14 days once he enters the country(which is a standard if you came from somewhere else). it's a good thing that airlines are closed for an indefinite amount of time.
he also hates children and have banned his cousin's kids to enter his home because one of them simply touched the screen of his tv (the moment the kid touched the tv, he forced the kid out of his home idk where maybe the backyard or the front lawn). he also kicks his dog on the chin or jaw as a way discipline them whenever the dog tries to stand up or jump and placed their front paws on his body. the dog was a chihuahua.
No. 573458
>>573450i feel that. but diagnoses are just ways to categorize all the ways brains can malfunction; what are the odds that everyone who isn't diagnosable will have a 100% normal brain?
unless you feel like an autism diagnosis would actually help you, it's useless.
No. 573527
File: 1592835032732.jpg (9.43 KB, 300x200, tumblr_59d7763bef484c21071773e…)
I do fanfic comissions and such as a side gig but wanted to share my writing with my friends so I made a separate account to post some silly shit we could all laugh at.
One of my friends called me out saying that I was humble bragging because I earn money from my writing and in all honesty it destroyed me. I wanted to share my passion with people I know not just internet strangers but all it did was make me feel like shit.
No. 573546
File: 1592837954674.jpg (63.17 KB, 680x662, f5e.jpg)
I think I'm finally hitting rock bottom and forced to face what a complete and utter loser I truly am.
No. 573552
File: 1592839294048.jpeg (86.66 KB, 540x556, AC11A70C-F26E-4AE6-92C7-ED71F5…)
>>572782samefag. this didn't get any responses but i just wanted to share that i did it. today's my 22nd birthday and i decided 5 years of carrying that weight was too much and posted the letter. i'm pretty proud of myself. i feel so much freer now. pic related was commented under my post by an acquaintance and made any thoughts of deleting it go out the window.
No. 573556
File: 1592840274501.jpg (10.34 KB, 250x250, 3YqQrz9n_400x400.jpg)
dunno if it's the right thread but there's this guy i met through a mutual friend at a party. he followed me on insta, twitter, answered my stories and we were supposed to smoke weed together. he was pretty much everything i look in a guy and then we matched on tinder, he went to talk to me and directly sexualized the convo and when i told him that booty call weren't my thing, he stopped answering…
why are men like that
No. 573567
File: 1592841730511.gif (878.58 KB, 300x167, 1391643937039.gif)
>>573504Don't light yourself on fire to keep him warm, anon. I was your boyfriend three years ago and my long-term partner broke it off with me. It was terrible for a few months but honestly it was the best decision. You can love each other, but it doesn't mean you're right for each other, and I guarantee that you'll love someone else just as much (or more!) in the future. Hugs, hope you figure it out.
No. 573650
>>573637Im so sorry but this is the funniest thing I’ve
Read all day. I’m hearing you can use baking soda distilled apple cider or regular vinegar and let it set for 2-3 minutes. Just maybe moisturize a lot after because that will probably dry out your skin. Good luck!
No. 573714
File: 1592863689250.gif (644.55 KB, 500x580, 1408454595754.gif)
When I was 17, a friend during our high school picnic randomly came up from behind, put his hands on my hips, and then kind of stood there with his chest on my back, his arms around me like we were a couple. He had never given me any indication that he liked me. Being a kissless virgin, I was too confused to do anything so I just froze.
He FB messaged me a love confession/poem like a week later. I replied with a one-page angry essay about how he was an idiot for his feelings.
For years afterward, I felt guilty but was too much of a sperglord to reach out and apologize. It wasn't until I talked about this with my partner a few days ago that I realized that what he did was insanely weird and violating.
No. 573723
>>573716On the plus side, your neighbors cared about your life and the police took the case seriously and your boyfriend obviously cares too.
It sounds like you had a really rough day anon but you're not alone
No. 573730
Everyone is going to think this is a fake post, but I'm absolutely devastated to the point of unironically killing myself and I need to let it out.
I'm sleeping with a married father 30 years my senior. I'm 26. We've been secretly "dating" for 2.5 years. He's successful– a scientist and professor– and his brilliance is something I adore. He has been absolutely nothing but sweet to me, never making me feel like a sex object. In fact, he was the one who pushed it to an emotional level in the first place. He calls me, makes a real effort to be a good "boyfriend," and never dismisses my problems. He never gave me empty platitudes to make me feel better.
Lately I've been feeling so hopeless. I naively thought he would leave his wife when we first got together. It all kind of came to a head when I called him a few hours ago, asking to talk about it. I told him everything: how I thought he would leave his wife, how I wanted to be with him. He was upset, but he gave me an honest answer. He said his children are pretty young, and he is worried about not being able to see them; he's worried his mother will never talk to him again given her relationship with his wife; he's worried about his job, because he doesn't know how the optics of that would work. He said that every aspect of his life would be impacted by leaving his wife of 15 years. He said that if he didn't have kids, it would be less of a problem– that he isn't happy in his marriage. He told me he was sorry for leading me on and he should have been clear from the beginning.
I asked him, "Why did you tell me that you loved me, then? Why couldn't we just have sex, so I wouldn't get attached?"
He said, "Because I love you. I know I led you on. I'm so sorry, anon. I do love you. I wish things were different." I just hung up because I almost passed out.
I know I'm a piece of shit. I know I'm retarded. But I am so head over heels in love with this man, and no one has ever made me feel so wanted and beautiful and smart before. Deep down, I knew this was going to happen, but I feel like I can't breathe.
What do I do? Kill myself? Ghost him? Tell him I'm leaving him? Stay with him? I seriously want to die. I need a hug. I hate that I feel like I've ruined my life by doing this.
No. 573733
>>573730You were stupid and you got played. If you feel like shit, you deserve that but everyone makes mistakes.
Lesson learned. Now next time you will know better not to fuck married men and not to fuck men old enough to be your father.
This is only an issue if you continue being stupid.
No. 573734
>>573730You are an absolute mess in many ways. Seek some fucking help, literally get a therapist. Not for the tragic loss of a disgusting old MARRIED MAN WITH KIDS, but for having the low self esteem to go near him to begin with.
Stop being so self pitying btw, the person who really suffers here is his poor wife and kids. Put yourself in her shoes and wonder if you have any right to feel so sorry for yourself.
No. 573737
>>573730You knew he was married and that was wrong but ultimately you did communicate how you really feel and you are the younger party so I do feel bad for you. I know it seems hard, but you need to ghost him altogether and don't look back.
He wants his cake and wants to eat it too. He wouldn't have said all that shit about feeling bad and how it would be easier if he didn't have kids if you hadn't said anything. I know it doesn't feel like he's using you but he is.
Easier said than done, but you should move on. If he hasn't left his wife and children by now He never will and even if he did, trust me you do not want to be with someone like that.
No. 573739
>>573730killing yourself because one man doesn't love you..
get some therapy for your bpd
No. 573740
>>573731>>573734>>573739Responding not to argue but just to keep my mind occupied and maybe give some more insight.
Yeah, I am in therapy. I don't have a BPD diagnosis– just anxiety. I have been for about four years now. I don't think he's disgusting but understand that point of view. I'm very attracted to him; I really don't have daddy issues, and I'm surprisingly not insecure. I'm pretty attractive, I think, and dated a lot of men before him. No married men, but I do recognize how retarded I am.
Your posts upset me but I know you're right. Minus the BPD anon, I guess.
>>573737Thanks for some non-tough love. Beggars can't be choosy but I know you're right and I needed to read a post like this. I know I am partially (50/50?) to blame and won't deny that. Thank you, anon.
>>573738No. I have been through grad school (and am employed now), but he teaches at an institution I've never attended. He's never been my professor or advisor or anything like that. I probably should have said that in the OP…. sorry
No. 573742
>>573619You know why.
It’s so fucking soy to me when a man can’t take initiative and plan a date that will thrill a woman. It means they haven’t paid attention to your interests and personality at all. They just want women to be a “taco bell and taking turn on the PS4” type bitch.
>>573705I’m down. You free tonight?
No. 573745
>>573730>he said he’d leave his wifeLmao tale old as time. You deserve it, stupid bitch. Was he at least paying your bills??? Cause if not, whewww, you got used thoroughly.
No one who loves you would keep you as a dirty little secret. He was just role playing his way through a midlife crisis pretending he’s still a school boy dating a school girl.
No. 573749
>>573740Don't beat yourself up too much and try to learn from this. I know it probably hurts like fuck but look at it this way, you are so young and have your whole life ahead of you, more friends to meet and places to go and he will finally be forced to deal with his own life problems. Perhaps he won't and will continue to try and escape in other ways, but the point is that at least YOU know it's wrong. You can still grow and change. You are probably idealizing this relationship more than what it really is. You say he's intelligent and kind but intelligent and kind men don't fuck women young enough to be their daughters and string them along telling them they 'love' them.
I fell in love with someone else while in a relationship and pretty much the moment I was interested, I broke up with the other person to be with the new person. It was a 3 year relationship but I did the right thing. My ex partner was mad and defaced a lot of my property, (we lived together) and all of this was even before he knew I was interested in someone else. He was simply pissed off I ended the relationship. I KNEW he would go psycho but I still bit the bullet.
I was 23. This man you speak of is in his later years and he's such a coward, he can't even end things to be with you. That's not love.
No. 573751
File: 1592869542928.jpeg (13.35 KB, 113x124, 1541934239380.jpeg)
>>573730i don't know what part gives me more embarrassment, you probably expecting him to quit everything immediately and come running to you with his bags packed and two tickets to LA so you two move there together and spend the rest of your lives like this is a lana del rey song, or that half assed excuse of his and how he cannot leave his children wah wah wah
i hope you get your shit together anon
No. 573752
>>573746Yeah. He says he hasn't cheated on his wife before (I asked, kind of referring to the typical prof/grad student stereotype), and he said he hasn't, but how can I know that for sure? I know you're right.
>>573749Thank you for taking the time to type this out. Should I just ghost him? Do I even owe him an explanation?
>>573751I thought I had given him enough time. I understand I was naive, but there's a reason I didn't press the issue so much until 2.5 years into it. actually kek'd at that reaction image tho, ty.
No. 573757
>>573752You honestly sound really level-headed about this whole thing and your feelings seem justified to me. I don't know why so many anons in this thread are attacking you, but my guess is jealously tbh. Hopefully your therapist is able to give you some more constructive feedback and help you heal from this.
IMO, this guy definitely preyed on you and the power dynamic in your relationship was grossly skewed from the get-go. I wouldn't be surprised if he were emotionally manipulating you from the beginning.
I don't think you owe him an explanation, tbh, unless you sincerely believe that would help YOU in anyway, his feelings aside.
No. 573763
>>573730Over 30 cow here to tell you 26 is still young these days. You could have another 2 serious relationships before you officially became sad cat lady status. I know someone doing this at 31 and man, it's not a good look. Honestly, the reason these situations are so sad is because the feelings are real, but one of you has already lived their adult life. You have not. This shouldn't be your future, and there's really no reason it should be. This guy, maybe he's OK and lonely or whatever, but sucking the prime years out of someone in their 20s when they have the energy to rebound from this type of shit and other shit is very dishonorable, in my opinion.
>>573757It's not jealousy, it's tough love. If easy love worked, she wouldn't still be pursing this, and no, I don't think a 56 year in a consensual relationship with a 26 year old is a gross power-dynamic.
Girls give men waaaay to much credit in the manipulation department. They don't really think about why they do anything 90% of the time. This is probably some dopey lonely guy who got a boner when this open and willing mid-20s chick gave him a "break". But, men are weak-willed usually, so one trist turns into a side relationship. Men are lazy. They let the girl dump themselves. It usually takes a situation like this, where the woman is incredibly upset and the guy is like "well, this is what is to me, so sorry you feel bad"
OP, you need to just call it off and be done with it entirely. No dipping back, no tipping off the wife, just let him go. I don't know you did it. I think most girls do it because they feel like they've cheated their way into feeling secure and free without having to take risk. There's no risk in being the side-chick if the guy can hide it well enough. You need to accept that to receive true love, you need to also give it. Don't look for shortcuts. Do the work. Good luck.
No. 573769
>>573757Thanks. I know I am fucked up right now but I'm genuinely not typing this out to get sympathy: I'm being forthcoming with my feelings and trying to illustrate how painful this is for me, irrespective of me being a fucking moron. I get that I fucked up. I know I did. I've always known that I was fucking up, but that doesn't make the hurt that I feel right now any less real.
I don't think I owe him one. You're right.
>>573761When you put it like this it really upsets me and holy shit you're also probably right.
>>573763Thank you for your wisdom. This helps.
Anons I love you and I really needed this. I know what I need to do and I'll do it. I'm fucking sobbing while reading comments on an imageboard. jfc. I needed this though, as I said.
No. 573780
>>573773I feel you, anon. I lost basically everything to COVID, even a fucking volunteer position that I had every Friday. Now looking for work is a massive pain in the ass because so many people are just as desperate as I am.
Ffs, I just applied to a basic front desk position at a gym for $12 an hour, which I am extremely overqualified for. I got an interview, but the AGM said that there's like 20+ other people applying for the same position, so I'm really not holding out hope that I'm going to get it.
No. 573783
>>573730I was in a similar relationship in my early 20s (I was a complete dumbass), and what he's telling you is as old as time. "I love you, but she'll take my kids/she'll kill herself/I'll lose my job/I can't financially go through a divorce/whatever else" is just an excuse. No one who loves you will leave you on the back burner while being in another relationship, and certainly not for almost 3 years.
It does feel bad, but don't be someone's second option. Have clarity and confidence that someone who won't make you a priority isn't worth obsessing over. Just because he called you on the phone and didn't dismiss your problems doesn't make him a great person, that's the bare minimum of human interaction.
No. 573785
>>573763I mean, I think your advice and tone may constitute a tough love approach, but the other anons who are just telling her she's an idiot with BPD without actually offering any actual feedback are just being shitty.
Btw, y'all really need to give it a rest with the BPD accusations, both of yourselves and others. The disorder has basically become a misogynistic meme at this point used to shame women in
abusive relationships who show any semblance of mental instability whatsoever as a result of said chronic abuse.
No. 573790
>>573780I'm sorry, anon. That absolutely sucks. I'm just hoping they give another round of the unemployment paycheck boosts so people will stop trying as hard to get a new job and I can weasel my way in while everyone is enjoying their government sponsored PTO.
We'll get through this.
No. 573793
>>573780Thats terrible anon, I hope it works out for you.
Im struggling to get work myself. It's a fucking nightmare.
No. 573908
>>573818>>573820A lot of young women are way too eager to buy into the trope of the mean nagging frigid wife and the poor lonely put-upon husband who just wants to be loved. They don’t feel bad for the wife because the husband has painted her as emotionally
abusive or neglectful and they can’t empathise with someone whose situation they’ve never been in themselves. There’s a reason these guys always cheat with much younger childless women and it’s not just physical.
No. 573963
>>573949Neither
OPs Husband acts like an asshole, but being cheap isn't the issue
No. 573979
File: 1592913356652.gif (1013.1 KB, 320x240, 2B2C2074-0330-422C-A15A-4F6CB4…)
I hate all you academic Stacy anons. (No, I mean, I don’t hate you but you make me so jealous.)
Reading all your posts makes me want to cry. I‘ve wasted my late teens and early 20s due to crazy parents, mental illness and drug abuse. Kind of a Luna Slater-esque situation. I’ve been clean for a few years but now I‘m scarred, tattooed and kind of fat and currently in school to get my high school diploma (I’m an eurofag but that’s basically what it is). I wish I could go back in time or at least to believe in reincarnation so I could have just a speck of hope that I’ll end up in a stable home and become a beautiful, stable med student Stacy who reads Proust and goes hiking with her friends every week in my next life.
Of course, I’m doing the best that I can with what I have in this life and I’m trying not to hate myself but my best will never be like yours and I’ll probably always be disappointed in myself.
I know that there’s people who have it way worse but I just needed to feel sorry for myself for a second.
No. 573992
>>573929Heyy same situation, down to the disciplines. Except my partner literally got a job offer because he won a coding contest for a company he interviewed at and was turned down for in the past, so he gets that his field is easier to become employed in.
I tried to learn code several times, even just python because coding can be useful for us, but jesus it's so boring and confusing.
I wish there were biotech contests, winner gets a job.
No. 574004
>>573979Don't worry anon, hiking Stacy is a meme, those people are dumbfucks too, just embrace who you are and that everybody has their own issues and timing in life. Don't try to be someone you are not. Proust is also highly overrated.
I went back to University after 30 and I hate my teens and twenties. I'm 33 now and the last 3 years were the best of my life, it's never ~too late~, don't let assholes tell you shit like this. You can do it anon, I'm rooting for you! Wish you all the best!
No. 574013
File: 1592922049157.jpeg (85.74 KB, 701x722, 1573832457690.jpeg)
Sorry this is long.
Growing up, I was a really ugly kid. I had a best friend who was really cute and old people would fawn over her wherever we went, and I was just the odd looking goblin child everyone kind of pretended not to see. Old ladies would tell me I look grumpy and never smile and my dad would always say "happy girls are the prettiest girls" and that's why nobody calls me cute, but how can I smile when everyone treats me like shit in comparison to my friend?
I was never jealous of her, but it hurt me that people would always be so much nicer to her. Her parents were still together, she always had all the Disney VHS tapes and Barbies/Bratz dolls she wanted while my only Barbie I got for my 6th birthday (first birthday I celebrated without my parents) got stolen by an older girl at the playground, her mom always bought her lunch and my grandma told me to shut up when I asked for lunch money.
Whenever we played castle she was always the princess and I was the prince because she was the girly one and I was the resident doormat who just wanted to make her happy.
When I was a preteen I started dressing in baggy clothes because I was ashamed of my body and kids already picked on me for being quiet and weird/liking anime so I just wanted to disappear. Girls would walk up to me and ask "umm excuse me… my friend wants to know, are you a boy or a girl?" and burst into laughter because my grandma cut my hair short so she doesn't have to style it. I don't remember being called pretty even once by anybody.
Things are different now, I think I look cute. I have a boyfriend who says I'm gorgeous, I recently posted a photo anonymously to be rated and everyone said I was very beautiful but "I need to smile more". I'm more confident and care less about other people's opinions.
But I never get catcalled or hit on, people don't want to talk to me, female friends never compliment me when I post a selfie on social media even though I do that for them. Why does this happen? Am I really so horrible-looking still? I don't get it and it's driving me nuts.
No. 574025
>>574013You might have a resting bitch face, which would explain why people are still saying that "you need to smile more" shit anonymously and yet you're not unattractive. It means you're intimidating, maybe you look like a mean girl trope. A permanent smile might help, but it's unfair how you have to work twice as hard at it and constantly keep aware.
There's a difference between ugly versus looking unapproachable, and you likely fit the bill for the latter. Unless you actively smile and force friendliness, I'm afraid that's the lot that our standoffish looks have slated us for. I'm sorry anon, but maybe it helps to know that you're not alone. Bubbly, perky, beautiful people always get the lion's share.
No. 574081
File: 1592931717988.jpg (71.23 KB, 400x386, comfy.jpg)
This might be rambly and a bit long, but I just need to write about it and kind of make some sense of it.
Finally, I feel like I started to open up and develop feelings for someone. I'm full 'tism so it's been hard to actually find someone that I feel connected to and that I feel safe to be vulnerable with to the point where I start feeling something for them.
I actually searched on Google how it feels to be in love but it didn't help me much, and after talking about it with my mum I came to the conclusion that if I'm not actually in love then I must be getting close to it.
While it was really nice to know that I am capable of loving someone, and to give a name to the comfy feeling that I've been having, it also brought up some insecurities. We try our best to understand each other, but sometimes I have a hard time understanding him, even though he tries his best to be as clear as possible and never really minds elaborating on what my autism misses. I don't think I could know if he feels something for me unless he told me, and our friends in common said he treats me different than he does anyone else (he usually has an edgelord humour, even though he means well, and he is normally very short and direct, but not with me) but that might just be because I'm socially retarded, not because he sees me differently in the way I see him.
I dunno, I don't wanna think about failure before I even begin but my mind just keeps jumping to mean thoughts regardless of how positive I try to be.
I don't even know how to bring it up to him because I'm afraid he will think I'm just a stupid aspie doing cringy things.
No. 574085
>>574074Ugly girls get raped too. Being cat-called isn't an award only for the hottest, even ugly chicks get called and stalked around stores. And on the flip side, I know a ton of uggos who get called beautiful all the fucking time, because they look for the attention.
If you look and act like you want attention, you will get it. If you don't you wont. Has very little to do if you're a 2/10 or a 10/10, it's just the 10/10 are usually way more comfortable with attention and are accustomed to getting it.
Nice pride, tho
No. 574092
File: 1592933715009.jpeg (52.01 KB, 542x566, images (10).jpeg)
im so tired of the tranny shit surrounding this character, idc if he calls himself oneesan, uses atashi and is feminine as fuck, why cant a femme as fuck boy exist? fucking western tranny shit ruins everything its so fucking exhausting when will this fad end. i just want a cute feminine 2d boy to love and openly talk about it on twitter like the pathetic weeb i am without being cancelled because i dont play the stupid pronoun game, fuck western fandom and fuck the trannysphere and kweer enby fags (usually actually straight femme girls)
No. 574191
>>574181Bruh just wear whatever you want. Life is too short to worry about these things when it comes to something as innocent and fun as personal style. I've seen 60+ year old women cosplay, wear Harry Potter scarves, dye their hair ridiculous colors, etc.
Literally the only legitimate reason I can think of not to just wear whatever the hell you want is indecent exposure, or not being able to land/getting fired from a job where looking "polished and professional" is a must.
If it makes you feel better, I'm almost 30 and currently have 3 distinctive colors in my hair, none of which look natural. It was totally worth it. I have literally never felt more "me."
No. 574196
File: 1592948766985.png (448.18 KB, 472x596, a56cb6bb648b6ea599df6fd9e132f5…)
>>574181Fuck it, enjoy yourself and buy that overpriced frilly shit if it makes you happy.
>>574191Facts. I get sad seeing other women try to stunt their personalities because they think they're "too old" to be doing what they really want. We're all gonna get old, why should we stop having fun once we hit a certain age? It's not like dressing tacky (at least, what's tacky to some people) is gonna hurt anybody. If you don't like it, look the fuck away lmfao
No. 574198
>>574196that pic is fucking adorable
Agree, the whole "you're old thusly ugly so you can't wear anything cute" was probably made up by ugly men
Wear what you want when you want
No. 574205
File: 1592950020591.gif (876.05 KB, 360x270, E4DC0BA9-DEB1-4E42-9A1C-966FEC…)
>>574196this is cute and good
No. 574206
Man, I just spent 23 minutes writing a post to delete it. Don't want nothing to come of it I guess.
I wish my parents weren't so dysfunctional, because I think it really hindered my development. They had no friends, denied me seeing friends outside of school and made me feel bad for being introverted. One is super anxious and the other has anger control issues, and both have shown up in me at different times. Mom has put up with behavior from dad that is objectively unacceptable, and now in the back of my mind it has me wondering how much I'll put up with. I've already put up with too much, in the way I'm taken aback with how much of a doormat I was once I'm out of the relationship.
But like, forget the romantic shit, I can do without that. It's the basic basic skills. How to make and keep friends, how to actually get on with people, how to fit in. I also judge myself for being working class and I think my parents instilled that. I feel like a dumb troll when talking to academics. I've pursued my interests (philosophy groups, film and feminist clubs) and I end up keeping my mouth shut because I speak in such a rudimentary way and I don't know what they're talking about half the time. The fuck is calvinism? I also think I swear too much.
I like to think I'm emotionally intelligent, but I can't describe why I mostly feel hurt when I see adults having an actual social life, and when I see a group of women, probably none having come from any less than a middle class background, having intelligent discourse that I'd love to be a part of.
But nah, I'm just this bitter, anxious, needy, angry, covetous, greasy, frumpy fucking gremlin who feels like she'll never have healthy adult friendships or romantic relationships where she…fucking…invites people over to her place with confidence to have a glass of wine and a good laugh or a deep chat.
I'd get therapy, but I need to land a non-minimum wage job first.
No. 574220
>>574196Damn her legs look good for her age.
I think a lot about how I'm going to dress as an older woman. I actually originally typed adult instead of older woman kek, I'm 30 already. I guess if that's any indication then I'll grow old disgracefully
If we all agree to wear whatever we want whenever we want it'll become the norm. Let's just all agree to do it.
No. 574235
File: 1592955013151.jpg (60.21 KB, 520x390, asian family reunions.jpg)
>>574206I feel the same way anon, but here's a comforting fact: a lot of people that you know are literally thinking the same thing. Everyone's winging it. It's really hard to muster up the courage to invite someone over, even harder as an adult bc of schedules. I have this one friend who invited everyone she knew to dance night last halloween and it was great and I thought, "wow, she's so confident and everything I want to be," but we've only hung out once since cause we were both too spergy to invite the other. Turns out she's shy as fuck and was so relieved when I reached out. People are happier than you think when you initiate contact. As for fitting in, you don't have to flex your knowledge, what about having an obscure movie night? Going to a protest?
What I'm saying is: Just do it, boo. Invite people to shit you're interested in and try to have fun with your fellow humans.
No. 574263
File: 1592958348073.jpg (61.48 KB, 200x263, 5k98gdn4.jpg)
>>574206I don't have any advice but you're not alone. I could have written this exact post, almost word for word.
No. 574274
File: 1592959783254.jpg (299.36 KB, 2048x1638, gre scores.jpg)
>>574247Biology majors are the embodiment of average.
No. 574291
File: 1592964066964.jpeg (63.05 KB, 749x559, 571352F1-A6DA-4F91-ACC2-0DA9EF…)
There’s this book I read during a really traumatic period in my life and since my mind has kind of erased everything that happened during that time I forgot the entire book. I want to read it again but just looking at it in my book shelf makes me stomach turn and brings up a lot of anxiety and negative feelings. This book means a lot to me cause it’s one my grandmother showed me when I was little and we watched the movie adaptation of it together a lot, and it makes me so frustrated that I can’t even look at the cover without wanting to throw up from anxiety. I guess I can always watch the movie (which still makes me cry but for different reasons) but the book is very very different from it. This is so stupid but I just want to be able to read a fucking book without feeling like i’m gonna choke.
No. 574309
I still can't figure out if my ex abused me or not. I felt absolutely horrible in the relationship and like I never had any control. He never hit me or sexually abused me and almost never directly said anything mean to me. He was extremely nice to me in the beginning and told me everything I wanted to hear, convinced me to move in with him, and then basically changed his entire demeanor and started ignoring me, being super cold and insensitive, etc. He acted like I wasn't even his girlfriend at all. He never wanted to go on dates, have sex or even spend much time together when we were at home together. This behavior confused me so much because at the same time, he'd tell me things like, if I ever moved out and tried to live on my own, he wouldn't want to be with me anymore. I'd get so frustrated and angry because I didn't feel like he liked me at all, but if I tried to talk to him about it, he'd just tell me there wasn't anything wrong and that I was blowing things out of proportion. Every single time, I'd end up apologizing and feeling like I was the one in the wrong.
He and his friends were also super misogynistic. They were all into 4chan and red pill ideology and hearing them talk about that shit was super gross. If I ever asked my ex to outright tell me if he truly supported this stuff or they were just joking, he wouldn't give me a straight answer.
He also doesn't treat other people poorly, which made it even harder to figure out whether he was actually abusing me, or if I was just overreacting due to past abuse by my family members.
No. 574330
>>574309A lot of what you described sounds like emotional abuse tbh. I mean him suddenly switching like that once you moved in is a super common abuse tactic.
I'm glad he's your ex anon because at the very least he was an absolute shithead.
No. 574342
>>574333what do the numbers mean. the higher the better?
t. a low verbal, low math idiot
No. 574352
>>574338Possibly, but a lot of MCAT takers will also take the GRE since medical schools have such low acceptance rates. Last year there were nearly 22k people admitted into medical school. Of that number, around 12k were biology majors. Meanwhile, around 75k GRE test takers majored in a biological science.
>>574342The GRE is a standardized test for prospective graduate students and a higher score is better. The verbal and quantitative parts of the exam are graded on a scale of 130-170 with a mean typically around 150. There's also a writing portion graded on scale of 1-6 with a mean of around 3.5. Most graduate programs look at a student holistically and a bad GRE score won't be an immediate disqualifier.
No. 574363
File: 1592974133265.jpg (27.62 KB, 480x360, ugh.jpg)
>first time seeing a psychologist
>gets me to spell something out
>says i'm not pronouncing a letter correctly
>english is my first language
>she gets me to say the letter over and over again
>feel incredibly embarrassed and more insecure than before
idk if she has hearing problems or i am genuinely not saying it right because i've never had anyone comment on it before or have a hard time understanding me at all
No. 574365
File: 1592974368724.png (249.5 KB, 500x489, EBEB833B-F8D2-4AAF-B9F1-EF96CA…)
I know people will tell me I shouldn’t, but I feel really bad for June/Shuwu. Her breakup with Preg was weirdly similar to mine.
>he broke up with me right before my bday
>long distance, me in US and him in Canada
>border lockdown and virus contributed to his decision, which i thought was stupid
>always felt like I was the one who loved him more and put more effort into the relationship
I don’t even watch her videos but I want to give her a hug because her breakup seems so similar to mine.. I’m still hurt because my breakup was still less than a month ago.
No. 574381
>>574371"o"
i said it like "oh" but she heard me adding an "r" to the end of it which is the part i'm confused by
No. 574389
File: 1592981779451.jpg (32.95 KB, 680x638, EWaVBemXYAg4ksr.jpg)
I just want a female best friend to spend time with and watch stuff cozy in bed together and go shopping at 8pm with and talk about shit with. It's been 10 years since I had a female best friend.
No. 574410
>>574181Just wear it, anon. Don't waste your time suppressing what you like, you'll feel so much better dressing for your taste/passion.
You just reminded me of some girl I once talked to who was like "Lolita will look so bad when you're old". I took it as a joke and mentioned just wearing gothic lolita (all my outfits are gothic anyway, but I guess she didn't know), but I wish I had told her I couldn't wait to see how her cheap Fashion Nova clothes and reject outfits from the nymphet side of Tumblr would look.
Honestly, if you're
old old, it doesn't even matter what you wear. You will be outside of the conventions of beauty regardless. Just have fun.
No. 574448
>>574437Germany
>>574445Oh, god, anon, same.
I figured this out in my last relationship but still ended up moving in with my new boyfriend and I’m going mad. He’s the kind of person who could just hang out all day and every time I’m like “you know, I know this couple who sleeps in separate beds sometimes” he’s like “OMG ANON I COULD NEVER DO THAT”. So, make sure you communicate your need for alone time with potential partners. I mean, I did in the beginning but I’m kind of a doormat so I couldn’t stand my ground.
No. 574450
>>574181Just wear it you turkey!
Lolita has no age limit.
No. 574453
>>574445Honestly, same. I do love my boyfriend and we get along so well, but I just don't like the idea of us living together and sharing every room. We went on a vacation last year and being constantly together was too much for me. I just feel that being together 24/7 makes you more prone to argue about stupid shit that doesn't matter.
Anyways, sleeping in separate bedrooms sounds perfectly reasonable to me. Just make sure at least one room has a bigger bed so you both can fit on it.
No. 574457
>>574445I feel this. I was pretty miserable in my last relationship because apartments in my city are pretty cramped. I was secretly desperate to get my own place but couldn't afford it. Now that I'm single again and have my own home secured I can't see myself living with a partner again.
I hate sharing a bed in particular. My last bf would wake me in the morning by loudly playing games on his phone while still in bed, yet would snap at me If I woke him up by rolling over. That and dealing with someones farts, nope.
No. 574461
File: 1593000830214.jpeg (42.13 KB, 1000x750, gL5t6Ro.jpeg)
I just wanted to spend some time with my dad, but apparently I never can.
No. 574488
File: 1593005395129.jpeg (109.11 KB, 824x613, F500DF9A-5BF1-46C1-8620-570965…)
I never realised how safe and comfy websites with mainly women were until I went on lolcow and now it’s so frustrating knowing what a place without misogynistic men would kinda be like. I wish I could just start a commune with the anons here or something.
No. 574506
>>574500NTA but I'm the anon ITT who was dating a married man 30 years my senior.
This is the only place that told me what I needed to do. Even though some posters were needlessly mean, imo, there were several kind anons who told me why I was being stupid and gave me advice on what to do. And I did it. During that evening, I felt oddly safe.
I don't typically feel like that on lc, but I will admit that there are some good women here.
No. 574508
>>574500nta but I'd honestly take infighting and disguised scrotes over male dominated imageboards like 4chan.
I go in ic sometimes but holy fuck is it rife with lolitards and /pol/ takes.
No. 574509
File: 1593007674420.jpg (38.42 KB, 564x701, 1.jpg)
Nothing is more cringe than men-worshipping, woman hating women. I get secondhand embarassment seeing it, especially from clearly not mormon alt girls.
men will never actually care about you; why die on the hill of sperging over "females" for scrotes with no empathy?
Everyone's been fucked over by girls before but holy shit, even some of the shittiest ones are nicer than the random greasy internet scrotes these girls so desperately try to pick me for
The saddest part is i don't hate them for it or anything, its just depressing to see someone just give up and so adamantly hate their own gender for the sake of discord bottomfeeders
No. 574511
File: 1593007777395.gif (17.1 KB, 354x369, 1392848037425.gif)
>>574506I'm glad it's helped you, anon. I feel the same way as
>>574507 , it's really nice to see other women lift each other up. These threads have a way of humanizing and opening up my empathy to total strangers.
No. 574516
File: 1593008726076.png (938.76 KB, 815x826, 43b.png)
I'm
>>574181 and I'm gonna cry at all the responses to this…you guys are so right…I'm hopping on lacemarket as we speak, I won't waste another minute to dress how I want!
This
>>574196 is soooo cute
No. 574524
>>574518NTA but women can be
abusive, dehumanising and higher up in the social hierarchy to other women (or even men really), there are other axes of oppression than just gender or sex. It's not really a take worthy of 'hi scrote'. Many women marginalised in some other way have had this kind of experience, in fact women can be more dangerous in these scenarios because of the presumption of innocence certain women have, they aren't fully held accountable. You are extremely privileged if you think it's impossible for a woman to have the opinion that women can be just as dehumanising and violent as men.
No. 574533
>>574475I don't know, I never got diagnosed but I remember that I cried the first time I read about it because I fit 90% of the symptoms, it was like finally understanding some of the behaviors and feeling I've had for all my life. I don't think I'll seek out a diagnosis though, like you said you can't do anything about it, and it's not like it's a debilitating mental disorder, I'd rather be an asocial than bipolar, narc or sociopath.
Honestly, I don't care about dating, I'm fine with being single for my entire life. Only thing that bothers me is rent, I'm still living with my parents for now, so it's fine for now, but finding a decent apartment with only one salary is going to be hard.
No. 574537
>>574524NTA, but I'm a marginalized woman, and I will always feel safer in a room full of women of any status than I will in a room of men of any status.
Of course women can be bad, but they're not the ones raping and killing us, so saying they're "just as bad" as men is a pathetic cope. I'm tired of this false equivalence of the sexes.
Feels like I'm being gaslit when I see woke people insist me and any type of man are in the same position, and we're somehow "allies" against women who are privileged, when I have to scroll past evidence of these same men going beyond the lengths any woman would go to dehumanize us, abuse us and literally kill us. It's almost like there's something about sex that transcends all other categories in life, but the current popular narrative is to play dumb and act like men and women are the same.
No. 574541
>>574511If you were someone giving me advice: thank you so much.
>>574524While it is true that women can and do participate in their own oppression by shitting on other women, I find it difficult to believe they do so for any reason other than trying to "fit in" to a patriarchal society. I tend to agree with
>>574537 , too, because the types of violence that women perpetuate is more ideological (and petty, at that) whereas men perpetrate both ideological and physical violence. It really is a false equivalence.
No. 574544
>>574500Mostly I don’t see it as mean-spirited so it doesn’t bother me.
>>574507Yes, anon, let’s do it. I want it to be like one of those 70s hippie communes, where we grow our own garden patch and swim in lakes naked and shit.
No. 574547
File: 1593013576740.png (870.64 KB, 744x846, ccdf516a2e430d428c2011cf4e8103…)
>>574516Proud of you, girl. Live your best lolita life.
No. 574555
File: 1593015625107.gif (413.5 KB, 500x206, your gonna suffer but your gon…)
my work is being a dick about my injury and im probably going to lose my job. im scared to lose this stability as i need the insurance and i dunno the proper way to jobhunt while im still injured. im just scared
No. 574567
File: 1593018247174.jpg (146.04 KB, 1020x500, Messy-Gamers-Room-in-Japan-102…)
I'm so salty right now and I know I look pathetic venting about this but here is the thing:
My 24yr neet hoarder brother is probably moving out really soon. The thing about this is the fact that I also still live at home at the age of 27, despise having a job. Getting my own place where I live is a pain in the ass and I'm apartment hunting for over a year now but nothing worked out. They either choose somebody else over me, the canceled everything last minute, people do not respond to messages etc etc. After all this time I'm just frustrated and truly depressed about the fact that I still live with my mom (I do pay rent etc and all that stuff btw).
So now we have my brother, who as I already mentioned a neet . He barely finished school and he had like four or five failed apprenticeships because he is unable to hold a damn job. He even got fired as a ancillary worker because he couldn't even do that. Me on the other hand finished university and have now a indefinite employment agreement. My mum let me stay at her place after finishing my education because I payed everything by myself (worked while studying) and payed all my debts off.
At some point my mum told me that it is about time to move out despise knowing how hard it is to get a place here. She always tells me that I have to work more in order to move out. My brother on the other side will get unemployment benefit, that will cover all his costs and will even buy is furniture. And I'm sitting here like ???? I save money in order to have enough when I move out because everything costs and he will get everything for free? Sure there are cheap places but I do not want to live in a damn ghetto with heroin junkies in front of my door.
I'm so mad and frustrated and the fact that he rubs it under my nose that he is "more successful" than me makes me really angry fuuuuck
No. 574574
File: 1593019032127.jpg (45.73 KB, 500x500, tumblr_inline_p7g19fesB51s48u4…)
This is dumb but I'm a skelly and my also skelly ex boyfriend just started dating a fat girl, not just chubby but proper fat. Makes me feel crazy and second guess everything and whether he was actually attracted to me. It's so frustrating seeing how in love they look whereas when we were together we were more like just best friends.
Maybe I'm an asshole but I just can't see how someone could be attracted to someone so fat if they don't have a fetish. So it makes me wonder if he did have one all this time and wtf he was doing with me.
No. 574576
>>574506Good for you gal. I have to say I am usually one of those "needlessly" mean Anons, and obviously you were quick to get your shit together so you didn't need that, but for some women grooming is one hell of a drug and it takes a few virtual slaps to get them to even understand how much they're fucking up.
I'm sorry the comments were a bit much for you, but remember that it's easy to talk shit because we're all Anon, it's not personnal.
Hope everything works out for you from now on.
No. 574583
File: 1593020422757.jpeg (228.08 KB, 1125x1099, 28854DB5-1314-44A6-8BC0-3C0F31…)
I'm so fucking sick of having stupid fucking CSA trauma.
I've had it my whole life. Five year olds shouldn't be masturbating to the thought of being abused, fantasizing about being beaten and otherwise treated like harsh. Five year olds shouldnt be trying to show a little sister how to get off too. I don't understand how my parents didn't realize, and just told me it was a ''private thing i should do in my room.'" They loved me but they were neglectful and had no idea how to take care of a kid at the time. I got off in public too. I got pretty much alone internet access maybe around 7 years? And I was doing absolutely sick shit like getting turned on by dead animals? EXTREMELY fucked up shit. Sick fantasies followed me up until recently (Guro, loli, incest, etc) that wasn't fucking helped by my cousin molesting me and showing me how to find porn. Then came the grooming from older men and kickstarted my need for that type of attention so I started doing sick shit to appease them that only ended maybe 2 years where I'd talk openly about fetishes. I want a fuck retry at life FUCK
No. 574587
File: 1593021048477.jpg (85.72 KB, 960x956, 95f9cac2a411de10368254ce08378e…)
>>574488I feel the same way anon. I get called a retard and have called others a retard but somehow it feel much more genuine than the fake PC niceness of mainstream social media. I know those same anons who scolded me would also defend me when I vented about being wronged. Feels good.
>>574505>solely designed to pick apart and essentially ruin peoples lives>solelyFirst of all, half of us don't even use drama-related boards
>ruin peoples livesKek not to hi cow buuuut
No. 574597
>>574583I feel you anon. Thankfully I wasn't molested but I had basically the same experience with masturbation and porn, being told flipantly that I should 'do that in the shower' instead of in the middle of the living room and not explaining me why, never having my internet usage checked, watching fucked up porn and hentai, daydreaming about getting kidnapped and gangraped. I also really blame my parents.
Our brains are fucked up for sure. Brains are so malleable and it happened in our formative years. I try to be porn free but I still relapse from time to time even if I fucking hate the porn industry.
I hope you'll find a way to start healing, just know it's not your fault.
No. 574598
>>574588My grandma lived in the said "ghetto" and her entire apartment got robben, therefore I avoid that area. Yes, I do want to move out and I'm here to pay for everything by myself. I already did that while studying, I just moved back home when I finished everything . The difference is that the town I lived back then was super cheap, I had a nice place, here in my town you only get a tiny ass room for the same price, if only. The frustration comes from the fact that nothing works out and therefore get so mad when my brother manage to accomplish it and I'm not. What do I wrong? That's the thing that I'm missing here? I have a job to pay for everything? Why I'm always so close but then get a call that says "well, it won#t work out with this flat"? We only have the super cheap places, that goes mostly to students because this is an university town or the super expensive ones. The ones in the middle price range are impossible to get. And that's another thing that when I hear that people found a place and I'm not: how did they do this? It's just … it makes me really mad and it really bothers me. I know I sound pathetic lmao
>>574593tried both, didn't work out.
No. 574617
File: 1593025486425.png (1.01 MB, 1188x878, n31.png)
I hate the FaceApp gender switcher.
>enter any man, even the most ugly old piece of shit, and turn him into a woman
>the woman version is noticeably younger and often pretty, typically with added makeup
>enter any woman, even the prettiest, and turn her into a man
>the man version is always some ugly unkempt fuck
This isn't realistic at all, and I feel like it deludes some men into thinking they deserve model-level attractive women.
That woman on the right looks nothing like the neckbeard on the left.
No. 574645
>>574644Bruh if you were genuinely ugly, no man would want to use you just for sex. That logic doesn't add up.
I'm sorry you've had a history of dating shitty guys, but I am very skeptical that this has anything to do with your appearance.
No. 574655
>>574537I guess can't really go into it without it being racebait but I also feel like I'm being gaslit when people say things like what you are
>>574541I'm not talking about women 'shitting on other women' in the pick me sense I think you mean. There's a lot of hierarchy even within the category of 'woman', it's a indisputable fact that certain groups of women have been and continue to be perpetrators of ideological and physical violence against marginalised groups
No. 574667
>>574652Ime, this is pretty normal when the majority of early courting in a relationship is done via text, or online. You can't truly get to know a person in their entirety in this way.
You're still pretty young, so if you're up for it, you could always give him another chance and go on a second date. If there's still no chemistry, it's probably just not meant to be.
No. 574710
>>574363>she gets me to say the letter over and over againreaaaally weird behavior
doesn't sound like a good psychologist at all, she seems to have problems herself lol
No. 574725
>>574695I feel you anon I've been told I mumble my whole life but to me I'm just speaking normally. And then when I try to not mumble I just feel like I'm yelling.
I have no advice for you because I still mumble and at this point don't care kek but you're not alone!
No. 574740
>>571636I was rated below average on a reddit rate me thread. Now I understand that I probably won't ever be able to find a man that I actually like. It sucks because I don't have parents or a family so I do not have love. Also I was bullied at Uni a lot for being ugly and some people said to me because they are jealous but I guess this justifies it…
I have feelings for a male character that I made up for a story and whenever I imagine myself with him I just cry because I know I will never be able to get that quality of a man irl.
No. 574753
>>574747from the 5 minutes i suffered looking through that cancer of a subreddit, literally no one gets more than 5/10, their rating scale makes no sense; and why would be given beauty is, in the end, subjective.
Please delete your post there and never do it to yourself again.
No. 574755
>>574740I just went and checked that subreddit and it's absolute cancer.
Anon, you can't rate people through a shitty selfie. Some of the most attractive/sexy people I know wouldn't be considered especially beautiful, but their attitude, their personality makes them shine. I know it sounds cheesy, but it's the truth.
I myself I'm below average in looks (bad skin, ugly smile, dry hair, chubby), I've been called ugly multiple times by strangers in the street (lol fuck men), but I've never had problems finding decent guys that appreciated who I was and were attracted to me. I think I'm funny, a good person, and I work hard on taking care of myself and having my own style, even if strangers consider me ugly. I had plenty of beautiful (on the inside and the outside) men like me.
Work on your self image, don't self sabotage yourself by seeking validation from dumbfucks on reddit.
No. 574793
File: 1593051377277.png (11.26 KB, 387x183, rateme.png)
>>574740>>574777Just lurked there for a few minutes and found this gem. Don't take those places seriously. If you read their side bar, they say treat the mean as 5 with a standard deviation of 1.3 and assume normal distribution. That standard deviation is far too narrow and causes everyone to rate people as a 5 or risk a goddamn warning.
No. 574815
I am depressed as shit bc my first day back at work since being furloughed has been pushed back again for like the fourth fucking time, my unemployment is fucked because I have a late filing (I was super depressed at the end of May/beginning of June so forgot to request payment because all I did was cry and sleep. my fault but still sucks) and of fucking course I cannot get in touch with anyone by calling or emailing to remove it, and (of course!) my grandma died yesterday. I texted my boyfriend about this and he called me but it just made me feel worse because I felt like he just seemed annoyed I was crying and barely understandable because of all this shit. He told me he loved me but that he really did need to finish his homework he's behind in so he would text me occasionally but couldn't talk too long. I know he's not in a good place either because of his mom and because he IS behind in that class so I know he couldn't really stop and have me cry for like three hours to him, but it was difficult to try and talk to him when I felt like I was distracting him or some shit. Plus it was like all he could focus on was the unemployment bit, like I'm fucking trying to get in touch to see if they can remove my late filing but its a fucking government agency so I probably won't get in touch until like fucking August, especially with how bad unemployment is rn.
Therapy was actually making me feel better and now I feel right back at square one. My grandma dying really made me realize how lonely I am. I have no family in the state (or even in neighboring states), my bf lives an hour or so away, I only have 2 friends (who I barely talk to anymore), and I live alone. I haven't really left my house except for occasional grocery store trips. I just wish I could hug someone rn. Sorry if this made no sense I've been drinking.
>>574714I understand how you feel anon. What are you into? Maybe you could find a forum or group for your interests online! I found a website for people who are really into puzzles, and it made me feel more accepted and like I had friends even though I didn't join (because I was too shy and don't have a facebook kek). Sometimes just lurking can help. Do you have a good relationship with your mom, dad, or any siblings? Maybe get in touch with them if you do.
If nothing else, I've felt the same way and feel the same way rn. I love you anon and I will be your friend!
No. 574832
My life is literally a train wreck right now. A train wreck is probably putting it lightly actually.
-living in a foreign country for the last 2.5 years
- my mom might need surgery and it’s scary
-passport expires soon so I couldn’t even go back in an emergency
-coronavirus complicates things even more
-divorce should be finally completed in a few days
-however I’ve been separated from him for almost a year.
-coworkers started treating me shitty recently. Not to brag but I am a hard worker and take my job seriously so I just want basic normal respect levels at least.
-was raped by some stranger over a year ago and the police found him a few months ago but this investigation and repeating shit is wearing on me and I just want to give up since I know there’s a slim chance he’ll be prosecuted let alone convicted.
-I have a new boyfriend since I separated from my husband
-he always had anger problems when he got angry it was a kinda scary extreme rage and he said shitty things, however I’m no angel and I’m also psychopathic when I’m angry
-two days ago I tried to talk to him about the coworkers being shitty to me after we had a nice day out, little bit of chores but also had ice cream together and made it into a date,and he just sighed loudly and got really cold towards me. I was kinda frustrated since I feel like I can rarely talk to him. He uses the excuse of having a bad day or being stressed so he doesn’t want to hear it but even after having a nice day he also doesn’t want to hear it?
-I got mad and threw my phone down and then he got up and flew into a rage and kicked the garbage can, kicked the cleaning bucket and broke it, screaming, looking like the hulk, I got kinda frustrated more because he always does this when I get upsets or angry and it feels annoying because now I have to drop my feelings and try to make him feel better.
-I tell him that. He gets more angry. I told him I’m stressful and told him about all the above things. He told me “all of those things are your fault” I got extremely upset because that includes my rape. So I ask him “my rape is my fault?” Also upsets because before he took my side in my divorce and said it’s my husbands fault for being shitty but now suddenly he’s acting like it’s my fault. Also how is my moms surgery my fault?
-I hit him in the bicep honestly because I was so angry and his comments were so cruel
-after that I ran into the kitchen to get away from him. He dragged me back into the bedroom. I talked more. And he hit me in the face. Hard. He took my shirt and started whipping my back with it. Like I’m shirtless here because he took my shirt. He’s whipping me. Stopping and thinking and continues whipping me, so it wasn’t even an impulse. I try to get up to go into the kitchen and he hits me again in the face, hard, I’m crying face down on the bed
-he grabs me by my hair and lifts my head up by my hair and gets right down in my ear and tells me he will kill me. He says this 2-3 times.
-later I try to go into the bathroom and he follows me in and pushes me into the bathtub so I hit my head on the wall behind it and fall down. He gets me out of there bathtub and I’m screaming in the kitchen hoping the neighbour calls the cops. Hélices me in the leg and puts me in a choke hold or something. He’s strangling me and I can barely breathe. I fell down and he stops.
-long story short but he did a lot of shit. I’m not completely innocent because I hit him but I’m scared. The next day he acted like usual and kisses me hugs me tells me he loves me.
I have a huge nasty bruise on my arm. It literally covers my whole forearm. And I checked my scalp with my camera because it hurt and there’s cuts and dried blood on my scalp. My knees are also bruised and cut from being thrown around/falling down.
I just want to die.
No. 574853
>>574832leave. leave. leave. leave. leave. leave. stay with a friend. a female only hostel. a domestic violence shelter.
take photos of your injuries. get the fuck away from him. is ur relationship with your ex total dogshit? is he an abuser? if not stay with him. i'm afraid if you see this guy again, you will die. please take care of yourself.
No. 574861
i hate PCOS, was diagnosed last year and so i started doing what my doctors suggested. i lost a large amount of weight, spent months exercising and dieting and doing good skincare with the acne vulgaris I got from my condition. taking metphormin at night, all was good for a short while.
but i easily managed to gain the extra weight back, and somehow it started to increase - currently 1 kilo less than 70. and this time exercising and dieting isn't making any progress. my hair has been thinning badly for years and i'm happy that i found the answer to my problem but like, it's too late. I accepted my fate in a chance of becoming bald. no amount of solutions my mom keeps on suggesting is going to make it thick, permanently.
and i can't have kids, or barely going to have kids despite medicines to help me conceive. and adopting a child that isn't blood related, even if it were related to me, can be still seen as a shame or disappointment to womanhood here.
my dad doesn't try to understand PCOS, so is mom. they all think its temporary. they all think it's my fault whatsoever when i assume i got PCOS the moment i entered puberty, when i was 9 at the time, the effects of my condition worsen in highschool and it grew the moment i entered college.
at least, the acne is gone. but the acne scar are still visible if you get close to me. but i don't think i'd fine someone to love me tbh, to engage in a romantic relationship and hopefully get married because society still thinks marriage isn't complete if there isn't a child in the picture in my country.
No. 574934
anyone feel as though they lack any sense of tangible identity? i feel insoucient toward most everything, however i think this is mostly suppression. i have spent time cultivating a level of taste and outward self that doesn't feel organic. and yet at the times, at many different instances, it felt "real". also, i am not diagnosed with bpd, and have never been suspected of having it. i suppose i'm just overly neurotic, solipsistic, and anxiety ridden, with a case of arrested development. basically, i'm a 21 year old who still feels like a child, in terms of self knowledge. anyone else feel this way? perhaps it's a condition of our consumer society, and this tendency to want to brand or commodify ourselves? i really don't know. maybe i'm just an empty dumb bitch.
No. 574940
I wish my brother would disappear. Sometimes I wish he had been aborted. My parents were way too old when they had him. And they were/are definitely too old to deal with his autism. He's high-functioning, but a grade-A 18-year old asshole. He hasn't finished secondary school, and I don't think he's planning to. He plays video games in his bedroom all day, and doesn't clean anything, doesn't even put his dishes in the dishwasher. His room smells like a 14-year old’s.
As he was pretty violent in the past, my parents babied him and let him do anything, such as letting him put his computer in his room at age 15, which was a terrible fucking idea 'cause he'd just play games all night and then refuse to go to school the next morning. He's been thrown out of 3 schools for being violent or because of his atrocious grades.
He once punched through a door pane of the room I was hiding from him when I was 14 and he was 10. I had to walk home from school with him and he would hit me the whole way. Now he's 18, doesn't do jack shit, refuses to go to therapy and gets angry when you ask him to do something or give him advice.
He's recently become more violent during lockdown and it is hell. Just 20 minutes ago, he hit my dad hard enough on the head to make him fall and bleed (my dad is fucking 65 so this is not a fucking joke) and grabbed my mom by the wrists and threw her to the ground. I just stood there in fear. I couldn't fucking do anything. My parents refuse to put him in psychiatric care or whatever. But I'm fearing for their life and mine.
I'm still a uni student, so moving out isn’t really an option. My student room will only be available in September. I can't exactly go live with either of my sisters either. I’m so mad at everyone. At my brother for being such a dickhead and blaming everything on his autism, my parents for being such doormats, social services (for a lack of a better term) for just not giving a flying rat’s ass. But I’m mostly really scared.
I don’t know if I should call the police, the psychiatric hospital, my sisters or all the above.
I wish he would just go. Storm off after an argument, never to be seen again. He won’t, of course, because how else is he going to play his fucking video games?
No. 574942
>>574940he is 18 years old which makes him a legal adult. Next time he gets physical with you call the police. This is not okay & domestic abuse.
Get out of there. Can't you move in with your sisters until september?
No. 574944
>>574940It's okay to hate him, but you should be way more angry at your parents cause this is mostly their fault.
Just from an outsider's perspective:
>His room smells like a 14-year old’s.Yeah my room never smelled off when I was 14 cause I would've been screamed at. My mother had conniptions when I was older and in college and dared to leave clothes on the floor when I was rushed. Dish in the sink? Screamed at. No chores done? Screamed at.
Not saying my mom wasn't a bitch, but if your parents actually cared about your brother's lack of standards then they'd do something about it.
>my parents babied him and let him do anythingThey treated him like a king when he didn't earn it so now he acts like a tyrant who's entitled to it. Now nobody can tell him anything because he's a child in an adult male's body. Someone needs to either cut him off or kick his ass into compliance, and I've got a gut feeling your geriatric parents aren't gonna concern themselves with the latter if they can even perform the former.
Next time when he beats your parents call the fucking cops, it's aggravated assault. If he can't afford bail or a lawyer then your parents best not simp and do it for him. See if he went to court, he might be able to get resources for his anger and co-dependency issues although he will whine, kick, and scream the whole way.
I'd say if you really want to get him pissed, the next time he beats on your parents and you sneak into his room and take his gaming consoles. But that would probably get you all murdered as the sociopath clearly doesn't love any of you.
No. 574954
File: 1593098793803.jpg (10.37 KB, 640x436, fuck.jpg)
why am i so mediocre at literally everything i do
i try my best an the results are always shit
No. 575001
>>574940Your brother sounds a lot like my older brother. Mine is also a high functioning autist who used to be violent. My brother calmed down once he got some kind of medication from a psychiatrist and trooned out, he isn't violent anymore but shows no remorse for the time he was. The reality is though that the only thing you can do is leave. You can't force your parents to change, and you can't expect him to get a sudden desire to leave.
Dealing with an autist and doormat parents is so tiring. Everything they do is excused with autism. They never change and make no effort to.
>>574944>you sneak into his room and take his gaming consolesI did this once when I was much younger and then he threatened me at knifepoint and told me he would kill me. My older cousin was around to stop him and when I told my mom she told me it was my fault for provoking him.
No. 575056
File: 1593114687175.gif (425.54 KB, 500x255, 1488095473992.gif)
My company furloughed my whole dept yesterday due to COVID. The earliest time of maybe coming back is in September. Honestly, we all expected it but heck it would've been nice to not have to panic about making rent.
The worst part of it is my boyfriend worked in a different dept and they've all been furloughed as well. He's horribly depressed about it because he really liked that job and I just want him to hug him and tell him it's going to be okay.
No. 575071
>>575057I feel this and I've experienced a particular male version of it with my guy friends. I know that it's very unfair of me to think this because everyone is entitled to their own priorities, but it's honestly pissed me off to see various male friends balk at doing totally reasonable, normal, expected social things (that women tend to do more without bitching because we're socialized to do the work in maintaining relationships) just because they cost a bit more money than the bare bones alternative or not doing something.
The two key examples that come to mind are male friends who are super resistant to going to any sit down restaurant and being resistant to buying any drinks whatsoever at bars/paying cover or tickets to bar shows. And I'm talking about people who I know have the money to occasionally spend $15-$20 on a restaurant meal instead of $8 counter service. Another example is skipping out on a party or event because they don't want to pay for an uber and they bitch out of walking. I promise you that none of this stuff in my city is overly expensive, and I would never expect someone to spend like that all the time, but literally never doing it out of frugality??
I would never actually bring this up to them because I know it's their choice but the thing that really bothers me about it is that they seem to not see that there's value in spending a little money to participate in social activities with friends who care about them. The type of attitude I'm talking about definitely has a self centered edge to it.
No. 575093
>>575082Almost nobody who casually accuses others of having BPD has enough knowledge of the disorder to legitimately do so. It's basically become a meme at this point and is just used to shame women that show any emotional instability whatsoever. Sounds like you're equally guilty of having done so, too.
You probably should seek therapy, but don't worry about having BPD. Unless you think having the label would actually help you in some way, I wouldn't even worry about receiving a diagnosis at all. Even licensed psychologists misdiagnose people with BPD all the time.
No. 575095
>>575093Agreed, and honestly anon unless you desperately need it for insurance/treatment access reasons, you don't WANT an official BPD diagnosis. At least in the US, psychs are very, very bad at accurately diagnosing people with it and it carries a large stigma that could cause care providers to view you with a lot less credibility. And you don't deserve that, no one does. I objectively meet enough of the checklist criteria for BPD but after taking a (clinical grade) personality test, a retarded psychiatrist told me she didn't think I was BPD because my "gender roles" score was too androgynous and women with BPD tended to be "very feminine, like using their sexuality for attention". Yes, seriously. My girl also had pussy hat art in her office, so take that as you will.
I used to think I had BPD. But then I realized my issues were very clearly linked to unaddressed trauma, and I didn't need to give myself a pejorative label for my natual, human responses to adverse circumstances. If you have trauma, focus on getting therapy for that. DBT can also be helpful if you think learning coping skills would be better for you and you do not need a BPD diagnosis for that, it's used for anxiety/depression all the time and those don't carry anywhere near the level of stigma.
No. 575104
>>575095Thank you for this. I feel like I'm constantly pulling fucking teeth trying to explain to people that BPD traits can also be indicative of childhood and chronic trauma. If you're going through a particularly rough patch, it can look like BPD even to a trained clinician.
Personality disorders are stable across all contexts, and individuals who have them are extremely difficult to work with. They typically lack self-awareness and don't fully comprehend that anything is wrong with them. It's also not just certain relationships in the person's life that tend to be unstable (ie: you struggle in romantic relationships, but your friendships are fine), and rather all of your relationships suffer as a result of your behavior.
Honestly, if you haven't lost all of your friends and loved ones, are constantly having to move, join new circles of people, etc, you are probably not suffering from a personality disorder.
I think it's ironic that BPD is mostly diagnosed in women, when the two people that always come to mind for me that may genuinely meet the criteria for diagnosis are men (Onision and Sam Hyde).
No. 575111
>>575087You're correct, we applied for unemployment but because of the pandemic there's going to be horrible waiting game to hear back.
We're more fortunate than most, thankfully. His rent is insanely low, and I can go #creditcardlife until UC comes in. He just called and I think I managed to calm him down a little. Thank you for the well wishes, anon <3
No. 575123
>>575113Yeah. The only thing that's missing from that post is dry eggs or whatever the new insult is for a "barren" woman.
>>575115I'm not denying the societal pressure but the way that anon phrased it and somehow made a connection between depression and being 30, childless and unmarried is very scrotish.
No. 575127
>>575101The reasons women usually give as to why they don't want daughters are almost always indicative of internalized misogyny.
>"I don't want to have to worry about them all the time!"Yeah, because they're more likely to be harassed, raped, ignored, emotionally abused, physically abused, and sexually abused by men.
>"I don't think I could raise a daughter as well as a son"Because children are more likely to mimic the behavioral patterns of the same-gendered parent. You, as her mother, have internalized misogyny that you haven't worked through, therefore she is likely to develop all of the same issues with low self-worth, learned helplessness, submissiveness, etc. Since you don't like these traits in yourself, you are also likely to contribute to your daughter's issues by shaming her all the time for being this way.
No. 575148
>>575123>>575113>>575112okay im
>>575109 anon and i wrote this on my mobile and i was about to get in the shower so it came off wrong.I am not a disgusting male but i can see why me saying "us as women" could be miscontrued. I was afraid of being labeled a scrote so in trying to not come off like one i ended up sounding like one lmao. But you guys have to admit that women are often judged once we hit a certain age. Hell you guys constantly use women's ages against them on this site. Even if she didnt want kids/marriage its still a forced pressure that is placed on us whether we subscribe to it or not. My sister is very sensitive and always has been and she has mentioned multiple times that she is dreading turning 30. But i often brushed it off because i figured its just a life crisis a lot of people go through. To be honest even I did when i turned 23-25 which i realize now is ridiculous.But it happens. Again i could just be projecting because i get really bad birthday depression too. Im sorry if i came off like women past 30 are unworthy. I dont feel that way at all. Im just scared and trying to think of a reason why she wouldnt contact anyone.
>>575128Thank you for getting it! like you said most women are not pink pilled like a lot of us are so they subscribe to that bullshit. Im just going to wait it out though and hope im just being a paranoid lol
No. 575155
>>575148Ntayrt but the reactions to your post kinda proved a point kek
>what do you mean?? there's no social pressure for women to be a married mom at 30 reeeeeeYes, there is. Anons don't like facing the truth
No. 575162
>>575155There is but lets be honest, a massive amount of that pressure is self inflicted. I'm gonna go on a tangent here because it's the vent thread.
Every time a young girl sees a 30 year old woman panicking about her age status, she starts to fear becoming 30 as well. Every woman who cries about being single and childless makes younger women see being single and childless as the end of the world. This is one thing where women need to take responsibility and have some self awareness when it comes to openly complaining and worrying, because it really does influence young women and functions as fear mongering. Men are never going to let women be content with aging, it's something we should avoid publicly supporting (even if that's how we feel) because it's fucking ridiculous to think that life ends at 30. It's time for women to collectively get a grip and stop being a bad influence on younger women by being so male identified and believing their bullshit about age.
No. 575164
File: 1593124447242.jpg (29.37 KB, 564x542, 1590181489188.jpg)
Saw here that someone I used to see at concerts as a teen, that I haven't seen since, was murdered and had turned into this sex worker personality. I feel so fucking weird and awful, I wasn't even actual friends with them even back then but the memories I have with them are some I often look back on with joy? Like, if I were to contact some old friends, they would laugh and 1000% remember this person and wonder what happened to them. I just thought we all grew up maybe a little fucked up but this is heartbreaking, that shit must've been so scary. I can't even discuss this with anyone rn because I am not in constant touch with the people from those times and I sure as hell do not wanna come across as gossipy, or crass.
No. 575168
>>575161is happiness the point of life? so many people say their goal in life is to "be happy," but how can one expect a single emotion, happiness, to stay stable for a long enough period of time that it becomes a state of being? to become "a happy person," how much time should be spent being happy vs. unhappy? it may be arbitrary.
happiness is overrated and ceases to exist without the lows of sadness, frustration, and anger. just continue to move forward in pursuit of progression. personal progression and understanding. the world is uncertain but at the very least, use the fact that you continue to move forward through time as motivation to begin exploring the self.
No. 575190
>>575180You need help. It's completely unrealistic to pretend you will never get ahold of or find some cash to buy alcohol in the future. You're an addict, you need help from a professional to get through it.
I find it especially concerning that your bf is dissuading you from getting any help whatsoever but is perfectly happy to hold onto ALL of your money forever.
No. 575252
>>575217Your dad is trying to push his frustrations and anger on you. Mine did the same when I lived with him.
I know you must want him to trust you and give you the love and respect you deserve, but if he's incapable of understanding and letting go of things breaking and has to look for a scapegoat he's most likely emotionally unable to be the father you want him to be.
Try to convert the sadness into anger and use it to achieve what you need and go to college, you can become a better person than he's and the first step is to emotionally detach from him. Good luck, you deserve better.
No. 575270
File: 1593139767716.gif (1.6 MB, 210x306, tenor (2).gif)
I've been friends with my ex for almost ten years. We dated back in 2011 for a few months, broke up on somewhat amicable terms. I thought he was gay cause he wouldn't touch my puss and we never fucked. He's bi but he never really had sustained relationships with men. In short he's got a lot of mental problems with really bad image issues with diagnosed anorexia. In and out of mediocre jobs, etc.
He's been living with an older woman for a few years now. Recently he's been contacting me again, but has really upped the ante in the past year after I broke it off with my ex of almost 4 years. This older woman does a lot for him because he doesn't drive and he's not meaningfully employed. It says they're 'engaged' on facebook and usually they're posting sappy pics together, but no posts lately. He's been going behind her back to echeat and say how terrible their relationship is. He's sent me nudes and has been flirting with me. He has no balls to dump her cause he'd have no place to go. What's extra gross is the fact that I'm definitely not the only woman he attempts this with. When he has an emotional spiral he'll post on facebook begging for people to talk, and sometimes he'll message me to ask if I'm around. If I don't respond immediately, he'll go to the next available woman who will give him positive attention. So that if I eventually answer, he doesn't respond, cause he's caught up in talking to the other person he solicited. He only wants me whenever it's convenient to suit his needs, he doesn't give a flying fuck and it bothers me.
I see him for what he is, which is a user. I suspect he's trying to gas me up and get on my sympathetic side so he can monkey branch away from this woman when the breakup inevitably happens, but I ain't supporting his ass. I'm sure there's nothing wrong with this woman, she seems like a nice lady who's probably sick of taking care of an emotionally needy manbaby who's almost 30 but still needs to be coddled and driven to his retail job. If what he's saying about their relationship being strained is to be believed. He's such a vampire.
No. 575293
>>575252Thank you for replying to me, anon. I could tell he was taking out his frustration on me, but he's very paranoid and has terrible trust issues but he trusts me most of the time, he knows he has to trust me because I'm the only person he has and I'm too much like him. I love him and I'm hurt too that his shit broke because he's been poor his entire life, like dirt poor, and he never buys things for himself. I usually ignore him when he gets mad at me because he stops being mad soon enough, just like it happens to me (and yes, I know this is wrong and that I shouldn't take my anger on people which I've been consciously stopping myself from doing) but today I was crying too because of his things breaking. I'm going to college and him and my mom are supporting me financially but it pisses me off that I can't do the same for them, and that he's blaming me for something I didn't do, but now that I'm less sad I understand why he reacted the way he did and I'll just stop talking to him for a while until he starts missing me and calls.
Thank you for taking the time to reply to me anon, I'm sorry you had to go through shit like that, I hope you're doing better now
No. 575296
File: 1593147269636.jpeg (46.82 KB, 417x280, 786712FC-A28D-446E-8FAF-F9BF24…)
I’ve lost like 15 pounds since quarantine began but I still have a lot of visceral fat around my midsection. My actual ass looks pretty good but the love handles make it look terrible. I’ve been eating cleanly too but I still look terrible.
No. 575298
It seems like with each day, social media makes me more grateful for those few bastions of anonymity online, like imageboards. As much as the chans are full of sexist pieces of shit, at least I can go there and just talk about whatever I want. I can talk about my interests, I can talk about a stupid cartoon character I find hot, I can get political, I can make fucked up jokes.
I think getting too tied up in imageboard culture can begin to affect a person negatively. But, on the flipside, on an internet where your "real" identity must be known, and where you're likely to get dogpiled for going against the grain, imageboards can give me a little bit of fucked up sanity.
No. 575299
>>575270Eeew. He sounds nearly exactly like my Ex-friend’s bf. Except my friend let him talk her into polyamory.
Friend left the state so her bf found himselF another girl that looked creepily like her.
He accidentally knocked her up They almost aborted but didn’t. Kid has a ton of medical issues.
A few years later he learns friend is in
abusive relationship. he convinces friend to move with him and since she is bi, tells her she should also love his baby momma.
Friend moves in then basically immediately says she is asexual and won’t be physical with either of them Friend constantly complains how all her pay check goes to buying “their” kid insulin. She sleeps on a couch, and on her days off bf cries about needing rides to and from work.
The baby momma stays home playing final fantasy all day, saying she isn’t mentally prepared to take her own child to the clinic so friend takes the kid to doctor’s appointments.
Friend pays most of the bills,, goes to the grocery store, and is the only one who drives. Her bf literally had a panic attack last time he went for groceries with her bc she was “pressuring” him to make too many choices and it was reminding him of his “
abusive” mom.
Other anon is right. Just block him. Some people aren’t worth the time
No. 575301
>>5752962 questions:
How quickly did you lose the weight?
Are you working out?
Losing too quickly can mess with your skin elasticity, and not building/toning muscle can make you look skinny fat. Losing weight is obnoxiously complicated
No. 575304
>>575302Yeeeaaah…it’s pretty fucked up. I lost all respect for her when her mom went into a coma. She didn’t come to see her before she died bc “He said ‘we’ can’t afford for me to take a vacation “
A few weeks after her mom passed, she was so upset that he magnanimously /s “allowed” her to take some days off work to play video games with his baby momma.
I think he just didn’t want her back with family and friends bc she would likely not want to go back after seeing she had people here that won’t keep her around for her paycheck.
No. 575316
File: 1593152190276.jpg (19.91 KB, 567x367, image0.jpg)
I hate to be like "uwu so smol" but I have the body of a child and I'm scared no one will ever be attracted to me except for pedos and freaks like that.
No. 575328
File: 1593155653222.jpg (17.14 KB, 770x401, 351ab84.jpg)
I'm trying to be positive today but the lack of sleep is killing me. I also swanted to learn front end web dev stuff but I have 0 motivation to do so I feel worse.
Pic not related
No. 575344
I have such sour feelings about fucking my ex after we broke up because it was so shitty. He's so sexually repressed that he wont talk about sex outside of the act, and when I asked him for foreplay he'd just be like "uhh but idk how!?" despite me sending instructional videos and pdfs of how to finger, how to eat out. I mean he'd try, and he'd be shit at it, and I'd have to ask him every time if I wanted any (which usually wasn't worth it), and tried to excuse it with being a virgin before meeting me, but I dated plenty of virgins and they ended up amazing because they were receptive to feedback and loved to learn. He wasn't demanding anything in bed either, so it wasn't self centred. But also it was incredibly self centred because outside of the act he'd be all "uwu what's sex?" which sure, some people are prudes, except it came at the cost of me getting pleasure, even when I'm so fucking easy to please.
Anyway we did it, next to no foreplay but OK I just wanted penetration and…he lasted 2 minutes. I just felt humiliated and used as he got up to go clean himself and I went through all the bother of seducing him and for what? To be used? I'm more deeply disappointed that I allowed a lack of foreplay in our time, and sessions like that COULD happen, and the attitude was "oh well, bad luck, we'll try another time" but seeing it as it was once I was out of the relationship made me so ashamed.
I also used to masturbate after sex because I rarely got satisfaction out of it. I liked the intimacy aspect of it, but isn't that fucked? I figured I'd give him time to open up sex wise, but after a year not much changed.
>>572022Hate to say not all men and I get you're hurt so I won't, but the red flag was already there with him confessing while having a gf. If he's trembling and wants to express himself further, why's he ignoring you now you've rejected him? I'll be honest, I think he was just hoping for either a sidepiece or a new person to hop onto.
No. 575402
>>575304i'll never stop being amazed by how people can be manipulated out of their dignity and paychecks by…adult babies?
it's easy to speak from the comfort of my screen but god damn if i won't let that baby die.
No. 575407
File: 1593176288891.jpeg (94.17 KB, 750x805, 75B2DE04-2A89-4E0B-802A-B98F07…)
I hate that every time I draw or paint something I think looks good I just stare at it till it looks deformed and just start to absolutely hate it. Can I please draw a thing I will like once
No. 575470
>>575436disagree. i think anyone with a basic sense of how nuance and the world really works wouldn't see an entire movement like BLM as "tainted" just because of individual assholes.
the public hasn't extended that same amount of hate towards individual killer cops vs all cops as killers as much as it has individual rioters vs the entire BLM movement being a riot.
large scale movements and organizations, especially civil rights movements, or political organizations that don't have a defined "leader" per se (antifa) are extremely disorganized, the most organization you'll find in the US is by a city or state level, and even then it's community organizing so it's still all over the place. Anyone who has been on the streets will tell you things can go from peaceful to violent just from someone being pushed into the street or a waterbottle falling.
To define an entire movement as a riot or wrong just because of a "few bad apples" but not extending that same judgement towards a nationwide police force with much more levels of organization and what should be a higher standard of accountability is bs.
the movement isn't tainted. white america perception might be, but if it's from judging a loosely organized grassroots movement for being loosely organized and having infiltrators/those looking to just start shit with no consequences take advantage of the situation, it lacks nuance.
No. 575564
File: 1593202636096.gif (3.41 KB, 80x80, 6D900771-23C1-46E2-86D7-68413D…)
i'm truly retarded. can't wait to become dirt.
No. 575577
File: 1593204931578.png (306.69 KB, 370x505, 1589427072465.png)
I cut my hair because it was falling a lot as always and cutting it allows me to control it better.
However, I accidentally cut it too short. Not only I feel ugly, but I feel like my boyfriend thinks it's ugly as well. He said I looked cute (as in, "baby" cute, not "pretty" cute), but honestly I just think he was pitying me. It doesn't help that I put on a lot of weight since the beginning of the quarantine.
I just wish I went into a coma and woke up when this mess of a pandemic was over, and preferably with my old body. At least I would be useless without being a burden to my parents and partner.
No. 575582
>>575564I love this post
Me too anon
No. 575590
File: 1593211587503.gif (74.91 KB, 480x362, giphy_s.gif)
I let an acquaintance crash at my place last month for a bit over a week when she was in a rough spot. While she stayed here she brought her dog, who was genuinely a really sweet young female. Very well behaved and affectionate. I even have this video I took of me rubbing her snout, she seemed so content and relaxed. Never had dogs myself, but they always seem to like me.
Haven't seen neither her nor the dog since because we haven't hung out since she got a new place.
She texted me the other day to let me know that the dog passed away. I wanted to ask why, because she was a young adult and not a senior. Not a breed with weird health problems. The timing is just suspicious to me, but she hasn't said and I'm too chickenshit to ask how. Maybe she really just did find her dead in the morning. I'm just sad that I'll never see that sweet dog again. And I really, really, really hope this girl is being honest and didn't do anything to hurt the dog or give it away with a cover up story (I don't know her that well but her family has hinted that she's a liar about certain things). Guess it's just my mind processing grief, and wanting to believe there's not a natural reason for this to have happened.
No. 575628
File: 1593215423125.png (4.25 KB, 238x212, hihi.png)
I never feel lonely no matter how alone I am and I honestly love it. I've heard about so many people who cannot cope with the loneliness but to me it's a blessing. It gives me an invisible feeling and I also get to enjoy the things that are important to me and do whatever I like without worrying about others. It's just me and my head. I could easily live the rest of my life alone forever with no problem at all.
No. 575638
>>575629I don't think it's a conscious effort. It goes like
>ask for sex with woman you just met>woman obviously says no>okay, no sex to be found here, interest lostthen a week later
>do same thing with other women>shot down again>wonder if that other one changed her mind yet>better try again with the same low effort wyd text at 2am No. 575679
>>575675>But we had a whole load of emotional problems between us that really affected me and wore me down. Somewhere amongst that, I stopped wanting sex. It's probably this and not the baby. I was in a long term relationship and thought I was okay with not fucking. Nope, turns out my ex was a giant manbaby who I wasn't attracted to anymore out of resentment and him never attempting to be romantic or put me in a mood that wasn't disgust. When I exited that relationship I loved having sex again.
Not saying you have to ditch the guy who you had a child with, but it seems like there's tensions between you that you may want to explore. Maybe with a couple's therapist if you could.
No. 575681
>>575627How old are both of you? Were both/either of you raised in some kind of oppressive culture/religion? What does he mean by "Banned" - banned for everyone until marriage or something? Humans have been having sex way before marriage was invented.
How do you feel when he tells you things like this? Even if he's saying that it's making him feel dirty, it's still hurting your feelings, and that's not cool.
No. 575777
File: 1593250175358.jpg (52.48 KB, 692x727, EaZKpdfXQAAbjkC~2.jpg)
I'm so fucking bummed that Cry turned out to be a sexual predator. He was one of the few LPers I liked, because he wasn't loud or obnoxious and he didn't try too hard to be funny. Now everything he did is retroactively tainted and I can no longer enjoy it. I'm angry on behalf of the women he creeped on and I hope he gets what's coming to him.
I hate that I can't enjoy content creators (particularly men) without worrying that they're secretly psychotic perverts. Why do so many famous people destroy their careers for sex? They could have consensual sex with damn near anyone they wanted, yet they always go for the few people they shouldn't, like minors or their employees.
No. 575823
>>575817I truly do love my in-laws and am excited to see them (especially my adorable nieces), also my gf has anxiety and I would never want to make her travel alone.
>>575820No solid tangible proof that I'm aware of, and I believe the gf is in the dark. I truly believe they're all simply too cowardly to do anything about it and too stuck in their ways to disrupt their friend group. If push comes to shove I will state my reasons for hating this assclown in front of god and everybody but I don't want to ruin the trip unless I have to.
he headed down that road several months ago. No. 575840
>>575836Nah.
>>575831Okay so I caved and messaged her about it and we hashed it out. Apparently in the 2~ years since this happened, the creep FINALLY apologized and broke up w/ the gf and has "changed" and is welcomed in the group with open arms. She says that we're all friends with people who occasionally do bad things, and that's… true, I've been friends with a few regrettable individuals myself although all the bad ones have been cut off by now. These are people she's known since middle school and is reluctant to let go because they've been there for her in hard times. While I find them repugnant, I'm not going to hold it against her personally. She's apologized to me several times for the whole situation and says she feels terrible for allowing it to go on for as long as it did. I've made it clear that my feelings have not changed and she accepts that and doesn't expect me to. I'm considering the matter closed but not forgotten or forgiven, and have made it clear that if they want to attempt to interact with me, then I expect an apology first for their incredibly rude behavior following a very normal reaction to a cheating creep. However I'm still stuck in the shitty position of being bored af and stuck at home while avoiding these freaks.
No. 575842
>>575840Your girl has apologised to you several times, you're talking about the guy needing to apologise to you next.. 'it's not forgotten or forgiven' All seems so unnecessary and dramatic.
You are not the one who was cheated on so why is this all about you? Let your gf visit her family without all the drama. You've got no reason to interact with these people if you don't want to. So what if you had a 'rude interaction' with them because you called him greasy first? You sound just as freakish as they do.
No. 575855
>>575787>Sometimes I'll inadvertently read some some story involving child abuse and it will fuck me up for days.Same anon. I read a lot of true crime shit and the ones involving abused/trafficked children really hits me in the feels. My own childhood was
abusive, but it could have been much worse. It almost feels like survivor's guilt reading about kids whose lives were eerily similar, but either died or were abused even worse.
No. 575880
My fucking god I'm so, so tired of 2020 wokeness. I hate it. I hate all of it. I hate virtue signaling white BLM faggots who think they're ~not like other whiteys~. I hate tranny bootlicking handmaidens who are willing to throw any woman under the bus for men in dresses and trample over gay rights. I hate the constant fandom discourse crying wolf claiming that someone shipping a 16-year old with a 18-year old is a pedophile to the point the word has lost all its meaning. I hate the trend of putting brand names under magnifying glass to remove "slurs" just so they can pat each other on the back for ending racism. I hate that every form of media has to be "diverse" in such a performative way it feels fake, tacky and intentionally "provocative" (but not to the point it would piss off China or Islamic countries of course!). I hate the cancel culture digging up almost 10 year old ~problematic~ content from d-list e-celebs just so they can ruin their name. I hate that I have to be knowledgeable of all nuances of American identity politics and history even though I don't even live there. I hate it all.
And most of all I hate the fact that I just have to stand there and take it. I constantly have to worry about my interests, my thoughts, my wordings, whatever I do because some psycho might come across me and declare me the next target over some innocuous mistake. Apologizing or explaining yourself does no good, it only fans the flames. I can't join any communities anymore in fear of some psychotic snowflake sucking the life and fun out of everything. Everyone has to be on their toes and only talk about small pleasantries, actual discussion is never encouraged because someone will always shit their pants over thematics. I have to be very careful about what I say because two years from now something completely normal and acceptable might become questionable and my words might be held against me.
They don't care about human rights, they don't care about minorities, they don't care about anything else but their bottomless need for validation and asspats for being a good person. That's why so many woke communities constantly have sexual harassment and grooming scandals. Their interest is not genuine by any means. They refuse open dialogue because they love wrecking havoc, not improving things. They don't volunteer, they don't help people, they barely even donate and keep coming up with excuses why their lazy ass slacktivism has to suffice. They're disgusting, worthless parasites living off of other peoples' misery. The ones who aren't complete disordered sociopaths simply follow suite because they're too scared to question anything the apostles cram down their throats and go overdrive simply to avoid being the next one to be ostracized and assassinated. It's a fucking cult, only they aren't merciful enough to Heaven's Gate themselves.
Social media was a fucking mistake, who the fuck thought it would be a good idea to put people from all walks of life into an environment where they have the power to mold everyone's reality by manipulation and falsified information?
tl;dr: SJWs should eat a box of nails
No. 575903
>>575842These people have been very unkind to me not only in these circumstances but other times as well even before I found out about the cheating. Probably because I'm an outsider and they've all known each other since middleschool and didn't want a new group member. I have good reason to ask for an apology before mending fences. She has said to me that she'd like us all to try again to be friends for her sake, and these are my terms.
>>575851Yes, this is why I chose to leave the group chat. I've explained my angle and they know my motives. If they don't want to apologize that's alright, I just won't hang out with them during the visit as originally planned.
I feel like my posts could be misconstrued as me wanting to have a big argument and chew these people out, but I really don't, I'm just venting per the thread title.
No. 575943
>>575880Hard agree.
>That's why so many woke communities constantly have sexual harassment and grooming scandalsThere's a lot more to this if you care to look. In the UK for example there are still current Labour politicians that were involved with the Paedophile Exchange Network.
No. 575958
>>575941It ends when it comes about back to them. The rhetoric keeps changing at a pace so fast that nobody can keep up with it. And just like with dictators who rule with fear, one of their trusted men will betray them at some point. We've already seen a lot of faux-woke bastards fall down because they pissed off or threatened someone close to them for the last time and they started airing out the dirty laundry, discord logs, DMs and so forth. False idols will fall and each time they do more people will be disillusioned with the movement. I'm hoping for this culture to expire by 2025 and social media platforms are doing a pretty damn good job exiling people with their bullshit algorithms, data mining and big corporation rules.
It's just like the hippie movement in the 60's, there are surprisingly many parallels I might add, it was big and radical for the time but soon enough people got tired of being retarded all the time and lead by
abusive nutjobs. Back then the society was left with a ton of young people with a drug problem, now we'll have mutilated detransitioners. Here's to hoping Disco will rise again in the 2020s anons.
No. 575961
File: 1593291068869.jpg (12.86 KB, 360x346, IMG_20200627_224825.jpg)
I feel horrible about how lonely I feel and how hard it is for me to make friends ever since my closest group of friends turned out to be nothing but people who used my kindness and money.
It breaks me and makes me want to hurt myself because whenever my s/o spends time with his sister and their friends, I want to cry cause I wish I had friends too. If only I could have felt comfortable around those people, but his sister hates me because she got the same mentality as shuwu. She even talked shit about me to his ex roommate, I can tell that. Man.
No. 575985
>>575974Problem with me is that I have lost trust in people very recently because said thing with fake friends happened not a long time ago. Before that I was nothing but a social butterfly who was loved by everyone. And no matter how stupid that sounds, its difficult for me to maintain friendships on internet because I am a very IRL person. But coronavirus is still there, along with millions of cases.
>>575976Thanks for being respectful without knowing me kek. Have a nice life.
No. 575986
>>575880Wverything you said, anon.
Reminds me of video related. It's just about how tumblr used to be back in 2014 but now the entire fucking internet sucks ass the same way.
No. 576079
>>576052This
I’ve suffered from depression as a young teen, possibly even younger. I have a friend who would occasionally mock me for it, saying that she has it worse than me because her mom had cancer (her mom was obviously lying about it just to get attention and drugs but I never said anything about it to her because I didn’t want to her feelings. Years later, I got confirmation from her sister that she’s was indeed lying about it but I disagrees). Years later, said friends always whines about how depressed she in on FB. Granted, I do think she does suffer from depression to an extent but I hate the way she goes about it. It so “Woe is me! Look how sad I am!” I hate talking about my depression towards other people and I only do it to people I trust. I don’t want it to define me.
One time during an argument, I told her she wasn’t really depressed and she was just using it to get attention. I do think what I said was unnecessarily harsh and mean, but I was fucking sick of her acting like she knew everything about depression when years ago, she used to mock me for being depressed. Everyone acted like I was an asshole for saying such a thing.
But I totally get it. I’m glad mental illness is getting more attention but I’m sick of people making it their entire personality.
No. 576080
>>576075He clearly doesn't respect you. Any sane person wouldn't talk like that in front of their partner.
>stopped liking charas/celebrities/whatever like that bc it feels gross to me doing that when I'm in a relationshipThere's no harm in keep liking fictional characters. The problem is the way he acts towards you and pays no mind to your feelings. You deserve better.
No. 576086
>>576075If you express discomfort about how he talks about female characters and his response is to tell you to stop it, he’s not worth it. It’s one thing to be insensitive and say those things in front of you (imo it’s even disrespectful to his girlfriend to think about banging characters constantly but that’s besides the point). If you’ve explicitly stated that it affects you and he ignores it, it’s a huge red flag.
Everyone is different and has different views on boundaries, jealousy, etc. A good partner respects your boundaries.
No. 576110
>>576105Anon, most people don't have passions and most people don't work in something they are uwu passionate about. This is a lie that people in the 90's and early 00's used to make money from the depressed working class and their children.
Pick something, decide to stick to it and eventually you can grow to appreciate it or not.
No. 576113
>>576097It's not fibromyalgia, but you're right, there is a a strong link with that and anxiety/trauma. I have recurring inflammation in two of my organs and corresponding diagnoses for each. I don't really want to get into the specifics because because a.) it stresses me out, and b.) one of them is rare enough that someone could recognize me on here if I said what it was.
Like, my scans have actually shown inflammation, but it's been very mild and I can have scans that show nothing at all. My blood work is also slightly abnormal. When I said they can't find anything physically wrong, I mean anything physically causing the inflammation, like cysts or a tumor.
Honestly I just don't even want to go see doctors about it anymore. I feel a lot better when I just don't focus on it, like to the point of having no symptoms whatsoever, but since one of my problems is rare, I get accused of not taking my health seriously if I try and refuse tests. I'm starting to feel like a guinea pig.
No. 576128
File: 1593311693070.jpeg (35.53 KB, 640x522, FEA53BED-0F77-4E73-A8D6-744AF7…)
Some old fuck came to my work today, asked me a question, then told me I talked too much because I’m a woman even thought I gave a thoughtful answer to a dipshit question. I wish I had kicked him out but instead my brain went into that shutdown giggly mode to get him out. I fucking hate me , why can’t I just exist and be knowledgable? Stupid old men ask me questions all the time and then shoot me down because they’re intimidated by the fact that I actually know what I’m talking about.
He asked me what a certain drink tasted like despite the name being a perfect descriptor of the flavor
No. 576130
>>576105the idea people try to sell you of "following your heart" or your passions is a FRAUD. My friend wasted two years trying to figure out her passion until she finally took my advice and went for a major that she could realistically do well in and a career that wouldn't burn her out. Your job SHOULD NOT be your passion. That's what hobbies are for.
Also, no matter what job you do, even if you hate it at first, you will eventually get better at and therefore enjoy more. My major wasn't my passion and my job is, although meaningful, not my passion either. I like it this way. It makes me appreciate going home and doing the things I do like, and it prevents my job from consuming my entire life.
No. 576132
>>576128What a piece of shit. What is your job? Can you report the incident to your supervisor?
Also, your reaction is completely normal. I don't think I've ever lashed out at a random man for making me uncomfortable or treating me like shit just for being a woman, even though I wish I did. Shutting down is essentially a survival technique because you genuinely feel unsafe.
No. 576146
>>576133This happened to me several years ago except it was a Facebook page for a meme I liked. Somehow a completely unrelated meme turned into political grandstanding for anyone wanting to own semi-automatic rifles with impunity.
I hate it when dumbfucks appropriate memes for their agendas.
No. 576148
File: 1593313915228.jpg (237.79 KB, 1916x945, e7a.jpg)
>>576137This one. If it has some alt-right/misogynist connotation already, I had no knowledge of that. I always just thought it was funny.
No. 576152
>>576148I don't see the alt-right/misogynist connotation connotations.
Could you elaborate? I know it's from a redletter parody video shitting on fanboy culture.
No. 576154
>>576152Yeah, I don't see any either. The meme is literally just the picture with the caption. It doesn't go any deeper than that afaik. That's why I'm so confused as to why the entire subreddit is full of misogyny and alt-right rhetoric.
The subreddit is r/consumeproduct, btw.
No. 576155
File: 1593314471621.gif (1.71 MB, 640x360, 70785A2A-7DA3-42D5-A3E8-AFC07F…)
>>576148Probably because they think only soyboys can be consoomers.
It’s no consolation but I’m left and love redlettermedia and especially their Nerd Crew vids. They don’t talk about politics all that much but they definitely don’t skew right to me.
No. 576158
File: 1593315282389.jpg (27.43 KB, 529x402, IMG_20190531_085207.jpg)
it's been nearly a year since I found out my closest friends (one who was my best friend since elementary school) all had a separate group chat from me where they made fun of my tweets and instagram posts and I still think about it sometimes and feel so sad. they made fun of my facial features and my outfits and would talk about all the moments they thought I was annoying when we hung out, and go into detail about how they didn't like me. I never really made new friends after that and I'm genuinely convinced that what they said is true, that I'm annoying and nobody would be my friend other than to pity me. they all stayed friends meanwhile I'm alone and my only friend is my boyfriend. feels bad.
No. 576163
>>576158omg that is beyond fucked up. That is genuinely so messed up. How did you find out?
I know it's annoying to hear when you're the one in the situation, but from an outside perspective any group of people who would go out of their way to maintain a 'friendship' with someone that they are simultaneously shitting on in a whole ass separate group chat has genuine issues. You don't want those people in your life.
No. 576168
>>576158Honestly anon, they are insane. We may be on lolcow, but wasting their/your time by willingly tricking a rando into being their good friend just to have a chuckle is so far more embarrassing than anything you did by simply…being alive.
Makes me angry on your behalf. This scenario is my biggest source of paranoia and to hear that you actually experienced it is horrible. Sending love to you.
No. 576169
File: 1593316606240.gif (698.54 KB, 300x224, 4565776.gif)
A friend in my group routinely annoys and pisses me off, but I can't ever attribute it to malice that's just not her general laziness and stupidity. I wish she was just being a self-centered bitch for me to be thinking so negatively about her, but she's just naturally an unaware dumbass and it would make me the bitch to give her shit for it but god if she doesn't fucking try me with her bullshit.
Just as an example a few days ago my group went on a roadtrip to the coast and I was the driver. About fifty minutes out of our way to our first destination a diff friend realizes she forgot something super important, enough where she was going to ask me to turn around to drive fifty minutes back just to get it but obv she was looking for a way to avoid that to not inconvenience me. Thankfully there was a specialty store that would surely have had the item she needed in it. Annoying friend volunteers to go inside and look while I keep the car running, the missing-item friend can't go in herself because she didn't have a mask and they're strictly enforced where we were.
Annoying friend waddles out of the store empty-handed after a few minutes stating that she only found one instance of the item in bulk and it was super expensive. Lmao bitch wat. No, no, no. I go in and not only do I find multiple instances of the item in bulk for cheaper than what she stated, but also an individual item that the other friend would have liked for dirt cheap. I bought an alternative because it was even cheaper and just required a little bit of critical thinking.
She's either blind, stupid, or just didn't look too hard because it's not like her ass had shit to lose besides being cozy in my backseat on her phone for an extra hour. Hate to be shitty but methinks she would've tried harder if she was the one driving. She pulls shit like this all the time, no one in our group can ask her for anything because it's either a miss or a half-measure and we wind up having to baby her a lot. She's burdensome and not fun but somehow everyone else finds this womanchild tolerable so I have no choice but to shut up and bear the minimum amount of times I have to interact with her.
>>576158Wtf. Damn, I'm not even that cold.
No. 576177
>>576158Anon, trust me, there is nothing wrong with you like those people said. How fucked up do you have to be to willingly spend time with someone just to talk shit about them? They’ll never understand their hypocrisy because those kinds of people are still stuck in highschool. Just be glad they were so obvious about it so you found out then, imagine if you were walking down the aisle with those people as your bridesmaids. It’s just extremely unlucky you ended up with them because I guarantee most people wouldn’t say that kind of thing about you. You’re definitely not the problem in this situation. Don’t let those bastards get in your head.
You shouldn’t be upset they’re still friends because those kind of shitty people always stick together. That’s their kind. You don’t belong there, literally. As soon as you find new people, I’m sure you’ll completely forget about them. It just takes time.
No. 576212
File: 1593323878386.jpg (47.23 KB, 700x525, 5efcb3a481a8f5754c1d0eea9209b0…)
i've attained "haters make motivators" success. the people who hurt me are in ruins by their own means. but i still wish i could hurt them myself.
No. 576222
>>576219Anon you can try the vanilla romance thread on /m/
>>>/m/92743>>>/m/92743>>>/m/92743its a great way to tween off porn if you're horny
No. 576227
File: 1593329088082.jpg (99.66 KB, 726x575, 1590713643000.jpg)
>>576226well these novels are a little more mature and they can truly be exhilarating, trust me its better to fantasize about a rugged farmer then the degeneracy of porn
No. 576261
>>576235That's just the condescending shit that people think they can get away with saying to women, especially younger women. They expect you to fret over how you look and they know women are basically taught to bend over backwards to be accommodating and friendly/polite. Oh and above all else, pretty.
Telling someone to smile is rude, saying "oh you look miserable!" is too. So tell them that. They usually hate having that pointed out, really puts them on the spot.
No. 576305
>>576298Why does everyone hate their siblings? Genuine question. I've never heard of someone who doesn't hold a grudge on them.
t. only child
No. 576334
>>576305I'm technically an only child but I had an older half-sister who stayed in my life until I was 11 or 12 who treated me like she hated my guts. Mostly she was jealous because my mom treated me better than how her mom would treat her, and she was pissy cause I was younger and got more preferential treatment for the fact. My mom said she used to bang pots and pans when I was a cribbed baby in order to scare me and startle me into crying, but she also said her own mom put her up to being a nuisance like that. I remember her screaming at me to stay out of her room when I really just wanted to be around her and was curious about her possessions, she'd go into my room on days when I wasn't visiting my dad and trash my stuff and pretty sure she threw cat litter everywhere. She got a thrill off scaring the shit out of me and I remember thinking she was really mean.
She tried contacting me a few years ago on facebook but I didn't respond, mostly because I didn't get 'Why now?' after nearly two decades of nothing, not being around when my dad ditched me, and also because she worded things explicitly like my 12 year old ass wouldn't have remembered who she was or the bs she did to me lmao. Wishful thinking on her part probably.
Imo there's a lot of competitive sibling rivalry and families are more dysfunctional than what society would like to pretend otherwise. Doesn't seem like sibling hate really resolves itself until siblings become adults and can have their own lives and spaces, or sometimes it just doesn't. Depends on how bad.
Other siblings grow up in normal homes, or depend on each other in dysfunctional ones, so they have better relationships.
No. 576376
>>576285Get out of the basement and go learn about the real world, fujoshit.
>>576305Most ppl get along with their siblings. I love my older brother and miss him.
No. 576436
>>576285>gay mennow now, stop grouping the he/him aidens with the
actual gay men together
No. 576495
>>576377thank you anon, my local organizers are amazing, im glad i found them.
another story/vent along the same line. this woman came out around dusk. she was arrested for heroin even though she she doesn't do heroin nor was there any on her. she just was with a friend who did (she does meth, but they don't know that). we led her to our team area and she told us that since she told girls in the jail that her lawyer was on hard drugs (heroin, ironically) he got pissed and manipulated her into pleading guilty. and she did, because she didn't know what to do and wanted to get tf out of there.
a lot of people, myself included, don't know how the prison system works or what to do bc a lot is dependent on the breaking of rules and moods of the COs and judges. i was arrested recently and since there were going to be an influx of protestors from the upcoming weekend, i and others only stayed a night so they could clear out the jail. but i've had friends stay multiple nights bc the jail would be empty. and i did worse than them. it's confusing on so many levels and the fucking prison staff themselves don't ever know what's going on or don't care to be consistent.
it makes me feel hopeless that this happens so many times a day, every day, all over the country.
No. 576510
File: 1593393400920.gif (494.59 KB, 500x270, 4386983.gif)
>when people try to bait you in with their bad faith arguments and actually think they're right or that they've won because you choose not to engage with the bad faith argument like how dare you not waste your time trying to change their mind
No. 576537
File: 1593399500010.jpeg (72.39 KB, 852x852, 866BA68F-C87F-4BB0-B218-B35FAE…)
I came out to my mom last night and also confessed that I have a girlfriend after 8 months of dating in secret. I feel an overwhelming sense of relief that she didn’t like, disown me or anything, it actually went quite well all things considered, but I feel so exposed and uncomfortable around her right now even if everything was normal today. It’s nervewracking having an elephant in the room and hope she won’t treat my girlfriend any more differently than before.
I’m just nervous about what’s to come and am trying to avoid falling back into the comphet patterns I would find myself in for years, I hope this uneasiness goes away.
No. 576603
File: 1593421874229.jpeg (42.4 KB, 517x596, 10D40DE5-4E0F-4421-978C-52E00D…)
I really hate my best friends grandmother. I thankfully haven’t interacted with her more than 5 times in the nearly 7 years i’ve known my friend but every time we do it’s always awful. First time I met her freshmen year of high school she didn’t even say hi and was super cold and stand off ish and at one point asked how someone like me (ugly) managed to become friends with her stunning granddaughter. Another time my friend and I and our group at the time were hanging out at her house and everyone except myself left and her grandma comes into the room and says “ all your friends are so ugly” right in front of me. Every time I see her she either comments on my looks or completely ignores me. I have to see her soon and my anxiety is through the roof. Every time I see her my self esteem just plummets and my friend does nothing about it because she’s terrified of her grandmother. I don’t want to be rude to my friend but I really don’t know what to do.
No. 576708
>>576667>the girl never had a chance What in the limey fuck are you talking about? She had a better chance than the majority of people who grow up with
abusive, controlling mothers. She had a YouTube channel where she was given money and promotions just for being cute on camera. A man married her and gave her a home with a caring family, which guaranteed a path to citizenship in a country she admired, and not because she was exceptionally intelligent, accomplished, or hot. People have liked her for just being herself. She had many opportunities granted to her that many others who worked twice as hard never ever, ever get.
She gave all that up for instant gratification and male validation because she's greedy and feels entitled to more than what she's actually earned. She's a bitch to the highest degree, it ought to disgust you, but maybe you feel ashamed because you relate to her actions. Maybe that's why you take offense and find it hurtful when people shame her, booger-nitpicking aside. She wouldn't have to worry about making a career out of her looks, like getting nitpicked for her low effort booger shows, had she not throw away the good life that was set up for her in order to be a camgirl. It's gross.
No. 576732
>>576713Which state/city? LA/San Fran or NYC? I've lived in a few different major cities in different states and have never been placed on a waiting list, so this is insane to me.
The midwest has rental properties and jobs for days if you ever consider moving.
No. 576747
>>576744sounds like a
valid excuse to me.
if your employer tries to get you to come in anyway, don't sweat it and say keep saying no. they're just testing you to see how "sick" you are.
No. 576750
>>576744Other anon is right, it does sound
valid. Also, my usual go to call out excuse is "personal/family reasons" because it's vague, but also private enough that most people won't pry since it's rude to.
OT but after I left my last job, I heard they redirected the call out line so it no longer went to an HR voicemail but instead would be redirected directly to a manager's cell phone so they would be able to pick up and grill you on why you're calling out (it's retail, so it's expected some people are faking but I feel bad for those who actually had a legitimate reason to call out).
No. 576753
>>576744THIS REMINDED ME TO TAKE MY TYROXIN THANK YOU, I felt like death all day. I think it's
valid, but normies might not get how shitty that makes you feel.
No. 576754
>>576747>>576750thanks, I thought about personal/family reasons but was afraid they would ask why and I wouldn't have anything. I thought about straight up lying too ("I have a flat tire" or something) but I'm a terrible liar and it would be too obvious
>>576751it's usually an automatic refill, but they wouldn't refill it for some reason. I'm gonna have to call and see. I'm also getting booted off my insurance soon so I guess this is good practice for what's to come
>>576753you're welcome!
No. 576784
>>576765I don't even have a reddit account, but I enjoyed reading. The experiences discussed were always relatable. Pretty depressing how subs promoting discussion are banned, but actual hate and rape subs remain.
>>576780It's easy to shut people down when you don't have to worry about them getting violent.
No. 576792
>>576745>she's lucky she was an abused childYeah if you have to misrepresent what someone said just to give your shitty take, then you have no real argument. No one called her lucky for abuse, they called her lucky for the specific and kind opportunities she chose to bin for bullshit non-reasons on her scheme for quick money. She's just like her mom.
>>576758That's a shame, I was wondering if "hate" subreddits like GC made the list with all the alt-right loonies.
Does anyone have a link to the list of the 2k subs that were banned?
No. 576805
File: 1593454669364.jpg (224.04 KB, 1080x1802, IMG_20200629_201703.jpg)
>>576784Exactly. Women/radfems/terfs, whatever you wanna call them only ever talk, but e.g. r/incels took ages to ban. And pic related is just one of those lovely totally inoffensive subs that are still allowed to stay up even nowadays…
Only the feefees of males matter, not abused women or even children getting even further humiliated.
To all handmaidens who are celebrating now: don't be too overjoyed, you know that you and whatever opinion you stand for could be next? This was the only big gendercritical community online, now that they're "defeated" they will soon look out for another enemy. Nothing which involves mainly women is ever safe.
No. 576807
File: 1593454827294.jpg (18.21 KB, 371x109, dumbass.jpg)
>>57680Try going to
https://asherahs.garden/ right now and the answer should become very clear, anon.
No. 576824
>>576804Anon, you don't understand: radfems on lc =/= radfems on reddit.
Asherasgarden was created because radfems were no longer welcome on lc, the crowd in r/gendercritical is completely different (and much larger). Many of them were older women and they have different opinions/goals than farmers, they find making fun of anybody or the use of words like e.g. "retard" unacceptable.
It really is a big deal, there is no mainstream site there radfems are welcome anymore.
No. 576828
>>576823Yikes!
Anyway, my vent is that my neighbor just moved in and has been building flatpack furniture non-stop for the past two days. Even at 3am in the morning. I don't know where to slip a note under the door telling him to keep the knocking and banging to a minimum between the hours of 11PM and 6AM because I'm getting sick of being woken up by it every fucking night.
No. 576832
>>576765r/GC wasn't really filled with radfems, it was filled with middle of the road women with moderate views, they dislikes porn and troons and were against male depravity and also had liberal views, but never really went beyond that
They weren't conservatives but definitely not radfems
No. 576847
>>576843on this entire board?
i believe you.
No. 576851
File: 1593456190292.jpg (573.06 KB, 2048x1536, D_QzuchUcAAH8TU.jpg)
>>576843I wasn't implying you were samefagging, I just thought it was low effort in general.
>>576844Not comeback, insult then? Essentially:
>Oh yeah, well you're fat. No. 576858
>>576833A 600 pound bitch is still right when she says a man can never be a biological woman. So seethe forever.
Lmao!
No. 576881
>>576880I'm
>>576851 and
>>576859 though. I just thought it was funny. Chill.
No. 576895
>>576883>>576890>it's really commonSays you.
One minute we're supposedly brutal manhaters, a moment later we're suddenly actually trad and desperate for male attention, then we browse r9k,…what's next?
Just quit with that embarrassing pseudo psycho analysis, you're only talking out of your ass.
No. 576898
File: 1593458156917.jpg (6.06 KB, 225x224, sad.jpg)
I was seeing some people post the high school vs now challenge on twitter, a high school picture of you besides a current one and it made me cry.
I was so miserable and depressed in high school, and right now and not that much better. I still don't have a career set, didn't finish college, didn't enter any relationship at all, still a virgin, still shitty, or even worse skin.
I feel so worthless and below everyone. I wish I could die, I think I'd do it if I wasn't worried about having to financially support my mom, who has no family at all, in the future.
I don't know how to live and how to be an adult and everything feels so hard and pointless.
No. 576913
File: 1593458926690.jpg (714.35 KB, 3465x3085, l4viwfx70ro41.jpg)
>>576880>little girlsNah.
No. 576926
>>576914People who aren't transphobic?
>>576917No one has to justify or explain their beleifs to you, and honestly if you don't see alternative viewpoints then you just aren't looking for them or are actively avoiding them. Like I'm sorry there are hundreds of videos, articles, studies etc that provide alternative viewpoints. No one is going to seriously engage in a back and forth with radfems on lolcow because it's just going to cause days of derailing infighting and sperging.
No. 576932
>>576915But not everyone is a radicalized alt-right incel. This kind of censorship and deplatforming is affecting those the most who are critical of leftist/liberal ideologies without identifying as altright or whatever. That is the group that is going to be the most affected, and they are the ones being pushed the MOST to radicalize and take on more
toxic ideologies themselves.
No. 576941
File: 1593460012578.png (225.06 KB, 378x388, 1593265775874.png)
I'm happily married and have everything I want in life, but the whole misogynistic bullshit online is depressing. Also the whole rise of white nationalism and people I've met in Europe seeings slavs as garbage while the wokies call us privileged.
I guess I'll just keep furthering my career, shitting on incels and trannies and have cute kids in the near future.
No. 576949
What a joke, r/GenderCriticalGuys is still up, because of course it is…
Other subs that supposedly don't harm the vulnerable:
>r/RapeKink (113k members) >r/MisogynyFetish (161k members) >r/StruggleFucking (267k members) >r/PussyPassDenied (nearly half a million members!) >r/AbusePorn2 (135k members) You must be blind if you don't see that this is blatant misogyny.
>>576926I see we've reached a new point. Before it was only "trannies are annoying but I don't want radfems on lc either" but now "transphobia" in general is forbidden… Mods better nuke the tranny threads on snow asap lol
No. 576956
>>576949I see things are only hateful if men's feelings are hurt, not if women are actually physically hurt, according to reddit.
Oh yes just waiting for the trans snow threads to be taken down, too. The tras are getting bolder the more you give into them.
No. 576986
>>576949 It's so odd how there's been tons of self-identified incel/misogynist murderers, but not a single radical feminist, misandrist or femcel murderer.
All that, and it's still the "free speech" (and even sexual expression) of the misogynists that's respected and encouraged, while women are called dangerous and bigoted for daring to not trust men with mental issues in women's shelters, being penis-repulsed, and wanting to discuss male violence.
Just look how this thread has "anons" seething about r/GC and calling it far-right, and insisting you must be fat and ugly if you think it was wrong for it to be banned (funny, because these are always the first people to shout about how cruel "TERFs" are for laughing at obese, ugly hons). Why don't they go to 4chan's /pol/ to call out
actual hateful rhetoric and far-right extremism? It's almost like it's not actually about left or right with them, just women and what we have the right to say.
No. 576999
>>576984It's funny, because I see a lot of MtFs openly talk about how they "used to be" literal alt-right incels who hated women and non-white people. Many of them still do, but you only see it come out when they can either post about hating everyone who's not like them on /lgbt/, or when they go on Twitter to post disgusting shit like "Trans women are women the same way black women are women", "I have the right to call you a slur if you're a shitty person, so fuck you nigger", "If you're a black woman and don't support trans women, you're actually a self-hater. You're not considered a woman either FYI lol", "If you'll date a black woman, why won't you date me?", etc with not a single member of the trans community calling them out on their blatant racism. Seeing things like that was unironically the first thing that made me smell bullshit on the whole movement.
I don't get how they pretend to be against far-right politics when they're literally some of the most fucked up, hateful people I've ever seen. Literally the only reason they're not far-right is because it's not pro-trans, and that's probably also why they insist all GC women of being on the right.
I'll stop now because this kind of venting is better suited for the other site to avoid infighting, but it's all so annoying and hypocritical. It makes me sick.
No. 577006
>>577001God thankyou. It's reassuring to hear I'm not crazy and someone else had the same experience lmao. They really gaslight you if you ever mention it and immediate retreat to playing the
victim.
No. 577012
File: 1593464258369.jpg (210.74 KB, 631x676, Screenshot_20200521-014223_Ins…)
>>576545this made me really happy to hear, thank you anon. it's uncharted territory but I'm gonna try to navigate it to the best of my ability.
No. 577013
>>577007This is so shit anon, I'm sorry.
I haven't been able to have sex or tolerate the thought of it since an
abusive relationship two years ago but I'm not at the level where I can't masturbate, I can only imagine how bad it must've been to do that to you. Nobody deserves that.
No. 577015
>>577013I mean, I CAN masturbate, I just don't have the urge to most of the time. My sex drive in general is just very low to non-existent. I had a very high sex drive before I met my ex. I just worry it's never going to come back.
I can't even begin to explain how bad things were in that relationship. He controlled all of my finances, alienated me from my friends and family, and threatened to break up with me if I spent too much time away from him. He used sex to lure me into the relationship and then completely deprived me of it once there was virtually no chance of me leaving him. There's so much more, but it would take too long to explain it all and I don't even want to spend that much energy on him. It was hell and I've legitimately almost killed myself over it.
Anyway, thank you. I hope both of us can work through this someday.
No. 577017
File: 1593465703837.jpg (40.59 KB, 750x351, 1552776794352.jpg)
I'm extremely lazy, kind of dumb and very plain looking. I wish I could be a posing and makeup type egirl with lots of simps to pay for my stuff, so I could accumulate wealth through my 20s and then retire in my 30s but I don't have the smarts for that at all. I wish there was a step by step guide, or a formula. I wonder if egirls rigorously research what is trending or if they just get fame by accident.
No. 577021
File: 1593466228040.jpg (227.13 KB, 851x550, 73d.jpg)
Twitter is the ultimate shithole, I've been on it for about a week and a half, for the first time in my life. I hate the shit out of it lol. Everything is so fake and curated. Everyone masquerades as woke and ~wholesome~ but really they are little shit-imps just waiting for the opportunity to sacrifice you to the mob for the clout. In the short time I've been on here I've seen like 6 people get cancelled, 8/10 trending topics have been drama/pitchforking/ads. 2 people have tried to "call me out" & debate me when I was agreeing with them to begin with, on a very non-political post about cats. Its insanity
No. 577036
>>577017>not hard working>not smart>not hotKekk you need at least two of these things to make it in any meaningful way.
>>577032Kiwi as it stands is a nobody, she doesn't have bank, just having her 5 minute leeching Shoe. Shoe is attractive to a good sample of males through appearance and persona, and she was always really motivated about her brand, as shit as that brand is.
You on the other hand…. Mourn those ethot dreams now.
No. 577060
File: 1593469341843.gif (1.17 MB, 250x250, maximum distress.gif)
GC was banned. Can we have the PP thread back?
No. 577069
>>577060What does GC being banned on
reddit have to do with the PP threads being banned
here in anyway? It's not lolcows problem. You have a board if you're so desperate to talk about it.
No. 577097
File: 1593471821586.jpeg (83.67 KB, 640x825, FA20801C-242E-4ED6-81BC-7F3D19…)
i have no job still, my rent is due, i have almost literally no food i just want a sweet milky cup of coffee i want to cry
No. 577132
>>576936Almost
all the banned subreddits were ones mostly consisting of misogynistic men/incels? Radfems/terfs/gendercrits always try and conflate themselves with 'women' as a whole and it's so transparent and dishonest. Just because most of the people supporting an ideology are women or any oppressed group doesn't mean it can't be hateful, it's like saying if they banned some kind of black nationalist ethnostate subreddit or something it would mean they 'unironically hate black people'. You people are all so delusional.
No. 577156
File: 1593478946812.gif (591.12 KB, 480x270, cringe.gif)
>>577131>but he wants a lot of kidsAbsolute yikes, anon. Maybe you can settle with one child, or better yet a dog.
No. 577157
>>577154Rip. Better bail before the faggot blasts you on social media for not buying him pretty dresses and dragon dildos.
>>577133>ignoring the literal hundred of subs about racist misogynist pornThey truly can't handle one single place on the internet not catering to them. Male entitlement is actually crack.
No. 577161
File: 1593479342353.gif (1.7 MB, 320x294, 1589202438063.gif)
>>577132tranny bootlicker
tranny bootlicker
tranny bootlicker
tranny bootlicker
tranny bootlicker
No. 577170
>>577166I’m an only child. I’m not selfish (at least I try not to be) but I fucking hated it. I didn’t help that my family was fucking weird and detached from other. It seriously fucked me up to the point where I’m in my late 20s and barely now trying to learn how to establish relationships. I don’t want a lot of kids because I definitely don’t have the patience but I definitely want 2 so my kids won’t be lonely. If my partner already has children, then I probably just have one lol.
But saying that families that have only one kid are unhealthy is fucked up, no? I’d rather deal with those families than freaks like the Duggars or men who impose their breeding fetish onto women. It’s also better for the environment.
No. 577226
>>577219https://www.amazon.co.uk/LeapFrog-80-30004E-LeapPad-Learning-System/dp/B00003GPTIWow you really have zero reading comprehension. My 'main issue' isn't with radical feminists over any other transphobic people. It's literally all the same in my eyes I don't care. In the context of the conversation I was having with that person, they said
>>577182>The majority of women are absolutely ~terfs~which was the point we were discussing, and what I was responding in reference to.
No. 577231
>>577226You were literally replying to
>>577187. You're the one with shitty reading comprehension. When that anon said:
>The majority of women are absolutely ~terfs~they also said
>normal people don't think men can be womenimplying most people have TERF ideology even they don't know what it's called. Of course, you replied with how most people think radfems are "bitter insane man haters", missing the point entirely.
It's painfully obvious you have a hate boner for feminists, anon, don't try to backtrack.
No. 577236
>>577232The majority of the world agree with TERFs that transpeople are delusional/wrong, even if they don’t give a fuck about RF.
And I personally don’t see dysphoric transpeople as mentally ill. Not everyone who disagrees with you is a TERF.
No. 577240
>>577234Oh my god are you me, I feel exactly like this all the fucking time. Today I wasted a whole 30mg XR addy doing nothing, I have literally so much to fucking do.
Adderall multiplies your motivation but anything times zero still equals fucking zero kek
No. 577245
>>577238>I personally think the opposite, that as people learn more actual information about, they would be more accepting.This is absolute delusion. Transactivism is a movement that heavily depends on peer pressure and silencing/deplatforming anyone who speaks against it. It has many legitimate similarities with cults and how they brainwash and isolate members. While many vulnerable people do get sucked into cults, the majority never will. The most charitable interpretation normies have of cutting off body parts and larping as the opposite sex is mental illness.
Also, nothing causes people to peak harder than 'learning more actual information'. In order to actually support transactivism, you have to selectively ignore most information out there including all the self incriminating things trannies themselves have to say (see - /r/itsafetish, /r/terfisaslur). There's a reason their biggest defense against evil terfs is telling people not to interact with them, because as soon as you do chances are you'll peak.
No. 577250
File: 1593487086789.jpeg (275.64 KB, 828x598, 3508176B-0E88-43EC-85A1-51FEF0…)
>>577241a bit mentally disturbed but still undeniably based. a toast to you, fine anon.
No. 577258
>>577241Anon's neighbours are the real heroes here. Imagine living next to this lmfao, hope you have thick walls.
(I laughed tho)
No. 577261
>>577260I can see most people on GC being former allies, but that doesn't equal most allies will become GC, you know? Which is what I was saying.
>most women don't like being told what they can and can't say or think.I don't feel this way because I was guilted into being quiet or something, or feel pressure from social media or whatever. Like I said I feel this way because after looking into extensively (beyond just imageboard/online bullshit) it's the logical conclusion.
>>577255Sorry but I honestly hate when people ask to be spoonfed like this, like these are such loaded questions that would take a lot of time and effort to answer in a meaningful way. Plus I would have to go back and find various studies and articles etc which I'm not going to do. I don't care about convincing some random anon, there is extensive material on all these issues available pretty easily online.
No. 577267
>>577264I've not been posting about this since yesterday? You are mentally ill if you really think everyone who disagrees in someway is a man or one person. None of my posts have been more than a couple of sentences, it is much easier to talk back and forth with someone about one topic (GC being banned) than the effort it would take to answer
>>577255 which literally asked about
-does transness have a concrete meaning
-transsexualism vs self ID
- trans women in sports
-trans women in prisons
Someone not wanting to write the literal essays it would take to meaningfully answer all that for free for a random stranger doesn't make them a troll.
No. 577423
>>577355>you're all scrotes and the mods and staff are all troonsWhy thank you scrote-sama, we're eternally grateful even though you lied!
You're new if you think lolcow was built on the premise of being a radfem haven or women only. That's the difference and the hypocrisy. The fact they refuse to leave after using the other site to whine about us shows it was never about freeze peach afterall.