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No. 647369
>>647331Cyberstalking is very possible because I did post stuff that can be returned to my deleted accounts so I'm assuming that they (he) got his hands on some of my archived stuff, I didn't think much when I sent the stuff because I didn't imagine someone going these lengths for some rando girl in a shitposting GC.
>>647351It does sound like him, and the way he posts those random pics with no context, no comment, nothing whatsoever after I say something is just straight-up e-blackmail. I'm not gonna comment on it or question it but I'm just hoping he'll keep it like that and not take it next level and flex this knowledge to others.
No. 647380
>>647372Not to derail so this will be my last post on the situation, they started as memes probably he found but it kept on getting weirder because just a few hours ago he was spamming gifs randomally said "it's a good day" and I said yes and he replied with a map screenshot and nothing else, it's not very accurate but it's scary how close to accurate it is, no body said anything because they don't get it and he returned to spamming gifs before going offline, mind you this dude we're talking about is not even 18 years old.
I've been doxxed by a teen years ago so I've been really careful but appearntly not careful enough Males are really something else.
No. 647407
File: 1601979824670.jpg (34.73 KB, 540x487, DwyaNkTVsAADeye.jpg)
>early onset anxiety reporting in
I'm deathly paranoid of anyone uncovering my internet footprint. I've gone back and deleted old profiles and pages, don't show my face, name, age and changed nicknames over and over but the internet is forever, is it not? I know this internet phase of oversharing is relatively recent, but I feel like I can never open up to people because I'll eventually be tracked that way. Maybe they'll get mad I lied to them and "didn't trust them enough" to share my info, I don't know.
The trend of people uncovering decades old webpages/tweets to "expose" someone isn't helping either. In the future will I too be judged for horrible decisions I made decades ago? I've been caught in a web of lies, I've been lying for so long I don't know how to get out. Are people really my friends when everything they know about me is a lie?
No. 647412
File: 1601980219519.jpg (17.91 KB, 500x378, 8b4d13ca0d40509b5891263a5e65cb…)
>>647407I feel this way on so many levels but I can't risk telling the truth and have my whole identity immortalized on the internet waiting like a ticking bomb for someone to dig up my history and expose me or just know things about me that are personal and intimate but again people will never forgive you if you get caught lying so you're stuck in this limbo of not being able to choose between this moment or the future, this is why it's better to not emotonally attach yourself to anything online, scatter your personality across different platform and in ways that can't be traced back together and maybe you can have some sort of comfort both oversharing and not sharing anything at all.
No. 647416
>>647415IRLs can look you up, either it is jobs or some creepy stalker, or just a coincidence.
Plus even when you have IRL friends you still post on social media, these two things aren't mutually exclusive.
No. 647424
File: 1601981450554.png (1.47 MB, 1440x791, 5C63EA71-D865-466B-A597-5D01AE…)
keeping it vague but. there’s a girl in my small writing workshop/seminar whose short story used the names of both my ex and someone related to him (two people who enjoyed short-lived internet cred years ago) and one of the scenes included a thinly veiled reference a particular video of his/theirs… again, years ago and i keep/kept a pretty low profile, but the coincidences are still off-putting. what would be her end game………..
No. 647484
I'm paranoid that I'm going to suffer a psychotic break, probably because a couple of my friends have had them recently. There is no reason for me to worry except I'm on medication that can cause psychosis in very rare cases but I'm becoming obsessed like for example
>>647380 and
>>647424could absolutely be true, but they could also be signs of paranoid delusions. Either way those are scary situations so stay safe anons, please never be afraid to speak to someone you know irl so you're not alone.
No. 647593
File: 1601998087522.jpg (150.9 KB, 736x1104, e93b977f5454c497cd27d7bfc19b29…)
I'm genuinely fucking terrified about the thought that the mentally ill/powerhungry madmen at the top of a lot countries are in charge of nukes. All it takes is one of them to sperg put to ruin it for fucking everyone. The victims, environment, history but especially the burn and cancer victims who will survive with all those horrible images in their head. Every shown hypothetical scenario scares me to the core and I unironically made it my goal to get the fuck away from cities for that reason (among others). I am completely sure something like that is possible within my lifetime.
No. 647616
>>647369Check your mails on leakcheck.net anon. If some of the shown/hinted passwords are still
valid there's a good chance he and others used it and the accounts you might have in connection with it to get info on you.
No. 647635
>>647629It would still function as a way to humiliate and discredit women. Like how men search up porn of women who were 'bitches' to them and then jack off to them to soothe their ego.
Or men using their gfs pics to put on hot bodied porn actresses who can do extreme acts. Sending anon emails/posting vids on pornhub with deepfakes female employers/classmates. Photoshop is easy nowadays, but that doesn't stop men from leaking nudes/editing nudes in order to humiliate women
No. 647652
I'm paranoid about sleeping or being unconscious near anyone due to some bad experiences. Sometimes i get really scared about passing out on the street or needing to be put under for surgery after some facebook comments of women talking about doctors groping or raping patients and not getting punished.
I don't think i'm paranoid about the assault itself, more of the possibility of getting pregnant.
>>647615Omg i thought i was the only one… after some peeping incidents i lost all trust
No. 647675
File: 1602003645506.png (173.31 KB, 500x495, image.png)
>>647615>>647652>after some peeping incidents i lost all trusti had something like this happen to me and it heavily contributed to my mental decline over the years, i can't trust anyone of the male gender or my family
the paranoia seeps into other aspects of my life too (no social media/not close to others), it's hard to find a balance between self preservation and insanity.
No. 647685
>>647431no that’s the thing—the related person is a relative of my ex I was also very close with… so those two names for two characters presented as relatives (same kind of relative btw) with a reference to a viral video of theirs in the opening scene… of course I fear I’m going full schizo here as
>>647484 mentioned by reading into it. but it’s an odd set of coincidences to me
No. 647708
>>647684I think you would? be sore and notice stains. But i am aways sore and have heavy discharge so who knows, and it's not like everyone would believe it, that's another issue for me. People might think you consented.
Mine was caused by some scary experiences but yeah i think it's reasonable as far as paranoia goes kek
>>647675I'm sorry anon. I don't have any solutions, i also don't trust anyone after some stuff and it messes with my life in a lot of ways. But just know you're not alone.
No. 647785
File: 1602012673806.png (208.1 KB, 419x424, 1591304926689.png)
>>647615Years ago on Tumblr I remember reading about this guy who wiped his cum on toilet paper in women's restrooms and since that day I have not known peace.
Speaking of men's depravity leading to extreme paranoia- I'm currently engaged to a guy who has given me 0 reasons to be paranoid about infidelity but I am often plagued by the fear that years down the line when we have a family and really have our lives interwoven together that he'll cheat on me. I had to stop reading about all the Roosterteeth leaks because I felt so bad for Ryan's wife. That shit freaks me out so much, I can't imagine how horrifying it'd be to find out your SO was doing stuff like that behind your back.
Other than that I get extremely nervous about how political dissidents are treated, especially with how much of your information can now be tracked. I get extremely fearful thinking of a potential future where people in positions of power can easily view your online history in order to assess your views. I guess it extends beyond political stuff, threats to privacy and cybersecurity just keep me up at night.
shoutout to whoever made this thread it's weirdly calming to know Im not the only person who thinks way too deeply on these kinds of subjects
No. 647834
I'm afraid one of my friends secretly see me as a lolcow. He's a normfag so it always occurs to me that this is why he keeps me around. He may introduce me to his friends soon so I guess one will let it slip somehow if this is the case.
Also scared that someone sees everything I do on my computer since that would be horribly embarrassing. I think of this at least 5 times a day.
>>647430Same, but I feel like he does lowkey know since I have hinted before. I also once named one of his friends that I shouldn't know about and he just kept talking lmao.
At this point I'm not even sure why I stalk him anymore since I no longer have feelings, it's like a comfy habit.
No. 647924
Oh goody, a thread just for me.
I am excessively paranoid about getting cancer. I think that anything that goes even slightly wrong with my body is a sign of cancer. I have no idea where this fear comes from, other than the whole "cancer can kill you" thing. I lost two grandparents to cancer, but I barely knew them and didn't witness their decline. I can barely even deal with reading anyone's experience with cancer, even if they beat it. I guess you'd might call this health anxiety, rather than straight up paranoia, but it's close enough imo.
I'm also constantly paranoid that I'm breaking the law somehow. I have horrible reading comprehension and do my best to fill out forms correctly, but I always freak out and assume I've made a mistake and that the government is going to come after me, or fine me out the ass. I'm super forgetful and have definitely forgotten to report income while doing taxes, or filling out forms where I had to report it. Nothing has happened yet (the amounts are pretty small), but I'm still concerned about getting fined or accused of committing fraud, and it sucks that I wouldn't be able to fight it because I don't think I really have an excuse.
I'm also paranoid that my ex cheated on me twice, even though I don't have evidence that he actually did. It was just a feeling deep in my gut that he was cheating.
No. 647962
>>647935tried that and SO many have been, it's fucking insane. they're legit going nuclear, i think they must have a filter up or something that catches 'adam'/'ryan'
>>647931god i wish i'd seen this before i spent half an hour slogging through a billion posts about how vic micognyngonyoa did nothing wrong by the absolute braindead retards on KF. thank you though, genuinely!
No. 648372
>>648336I actually shouted
I wasn't prepared for such a mental image
No. 648579
File: 1602075787948.png (177.96 KB, 281x285, _b7eb3c671e79d3f7a039f93cc321…)
Man im paranoid about lots of things. The one thing im very paranoid about right now is getting the virus, seems dumb since i mostly stay inside, but i just don't wanna get the virus, i get pretty anxious when family members visit us, or whenever i go grocery shopping for small stuff. Fuck i can't wait for a vaccine because i've never felt so anxious and scared before. I just wanna live normal again, i miss going outside without being scared that i might literally die if the virus gets me badly. Atleast i stay home, and the only thing to calm me is my cat.
No. 648941
File: 1602101793960.png (355.78 KB, 570x433, afhdjahfkjd.png)
i'm scared that my dead ancestors are watching me from the afterlife right now, and can see me do stuff like use the bathroom or masturbate to depraved things.
i had a friend of a friend pass away a few years ago (first death i've experienced if that makes sense), and that terrifies me x10000 that they could also be watching me do stuff. pic very related.
No. 648958
>>648955When I was in high school I somehow convinced myself my mom could hear my thoughts when we were in physical contact with each other.
Don't worry anon tho, I can't hear thoughts and she can't either.
No. 648959
>>648955>>648947>>648941all of this, I'm the anon who said they were afraid of ghosts watching me masturbate, what i really mean is people I know or knew.
I hate porn and all it stands for, but I LOVE watching gay porn or lesbian porn, im ashamed of it.
I just imagine my grandfather running through a wall after watching me rub one out to a guy getting pissed on by another dude.
I don't watch porn often but I get paranoid as hell when I do watch it.
No. 648966
>>648958Bless you anon, I have never had the guts to ask someone out loud if they can hear my thoughts
>>648959A little OT I am straight and rarely watch porn but when I do it's lesbian porn. And when I write stories I write about lesbians. No idea why but I'm only sexually attracted to men, I'm for sure not bisexual. I don't think you should be too worried abt your grandpa spying on you bc gay porn is pretty tame relative to all the degenerate shit that some men unashamedly consume. He probably has more reason to hide from you than you from him.
No. 649705
>>649390This, I've been with my bf for years and I really don't want every convo with the few female friends I have to devolve into talking about men, but we're in our mid-late 20s and they're panicking because they want to get married soon and start popping out kids. I dread what I'll do when they actually get to that, they're already annoying enough.
It makes me sick, I can't escape men for ten fucking minutes, it's either my bf talking about his boring shit or some friend talking about her new bf's boring shit. Talk about literally anything else please.
No. 649748
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These weather alert messages always freak me out. Especially when they wake you up in the middle of the night saying there's a tornado warning. I'm grateful they exist, they could absolutely save lives if someone didn't know the condition of the weather, but where I live we don't have tornado shelters or basements because it floods. So we'd be pretty helpless if a huge tornado came our way. I've never been in a tornado, but my mom has, and while it luckily didn't damage the house it destroyed a lot of other homes around them. Tornados always get me the worst because they can just pop up out of nowhere, at least hurricanes have quite a bit tracking before they hit.
No. 649879
>>649779Yeah, this. Of course if you friend women with month old relationship, they're going to be obsessed about it, and it will be their only subject if convo whether they have someone or not.
If you go for people in real LTR, it's rare to hear them babble to no end about their spouse (or maybe if they are trashy af and make drama out of thin air) . Nobody wants to be telling you all about their settled adult 7yo relationship. If anything, they'll be happy to talk about anything else because it feels nice to have friends out of your relationship when you've been steady that long.
No. 650182
File: 1602182228280.jpg (22.5 KB, 232x315, hell is in hello.jpg)
At a very young age I was convinced I was going to hell for drawing pentagrams because before I knew what they were I thought they were just cool symbols lol. I was also worried my brain had been microchipped and everything I thought was being monitored on a screen by US military scientists (I'm not American). Also I was pretty sure they could see what I saw if they "switched that on". That was just a childish fear which I'm mostly over but I'm still paranoid that someone is watching or listening in on me. Basically I think I'm bugged.
I was also afraid that anything with eyes (photographs, toy animals, etc) could see me getting dressed so I turned them around. Bear in mind this was up to age 10 so well past the age where this wouldn't have been completely silly.
When I used to babysit I was afraid there were cameras set up around the house which tbf is fairly common with new parents and not totally unreasonable but now I'm afraid there are cameras hidden in places they shouldn't be like toilets or hotel rooms in my case (work) just to make sure I'm not taking 2 seconds off the clock to pop a piece of chewing gum.
I don't trust my own judgement at all to the point where for example, I have to check every basic addition sum I do multiple times with a calculator because I don't think I could possibly get it right. Also I'm worried my friends hate me and only tolerate me because they either feel sorry for me, want something from me or keep me around to laugh at me.
I've recently started to wonder if all the information I'm finding (red string chan) is actually fake and planted to lead me in a false direction.
No. 650507
>>650460I think most women want to be accepted by men. We want to be friends with men and seen as equals. Deep down, we know that's not an easy task because of how men see us, so we try to prove we're "just one of the guys" by emulating shitty male behaviors. We try to prove that we're "one of the different ones."
It doesn't work, of course. If a man doesn't respect women, being a not-like-other-girls pickme won't suddenly make him change his mind.
No. 651515
File: 1602288501539.png (185.8 KB, 448x395, a79afa93030dbf1789b63adc048a45…)
I have a weird paranoia that makes me imagine the worst situations possible when I'm trying to fall asleep or go anywhere alone like the kitchen for example, I imagine/see from the corner of my eye that there will be some creature that will be just there staring or even interact with me in any way, or even feels like I'm suspecting that it's gonna undoubtedly happen, I imagine everything so clearly yet I don't see it actually there and I know that it's not true but I feel the fear and I can't get out of it, I can't sleep at night because of it and it's the main reason for my insomnia and I tell people that I just can't sleep when in reality I spend all night doing something stupid instead of sleeping because every time I attempt it the terror goes on for hours until the sun comes up. I hate it so much, I've had this since I was 12-14 and now I'm 20 and still have it (in fact it might be even worse), I'm too ashamed to talk to anyone about it but it is consuming my life. Does anyone else have a similar fear?
No. 651599
File: 1602294734757.jpeg (79.9 KB, 622x617, 2A3715B9-A295-4E47-9B29-75BC6D…)
A few things but I think some are reasonable.
>the reasonable: preoccupation with surveillance, but I am certain its inevitable to be happening and continue happening with the internet, advances in technology, capitalism invading privacy etc. its reasonable and proven though.
>the rest. I pretty much never feel truly alone. This i think comes from growing up scared of and believing in God. I feel I'm always being watched but it's something I live with. it's like an instinctual feeling even if I "know" its untrue, nah I can't dismiss it so I take precautions. covering phone cameras, avoiding changing by even covered windows, waiting till passersby are gone to do things, feeling weird to be naked. In fromt of mirrors i used to check my bathroom and bedroom ones to see if they could be oneway, was something I did even if I knew it was silly. I stopped but i still feel like some guy is behind with a camera . I look over at covered windows to make sure nothing changed to open it. I look at vents and corners to see if there's any small device. idk it's ridiculous because its physicaly impossible its my house. But i cant stop i guess. I feel it even in a windowless room, in that case its more like an omniscient observer (god) feeling
>for a while, when i had insomnia, white noise sounded like murmuring voices. The voices followed me even away from the white noise source when it got real bad. They sounded like arguing because i am afraid of my family arguing. I used to hear yelling through my door but check and nothing. I assume its rather like tinnitus in that case because it remind me of checking the phone but no calls, though that was a different timeframe. But at one point the voices sounded so real i heard one in my ear and was crying. at least they werent coherent and its mostly stopped occurring. It felt like how i imagine psychosis would because i went downstairs in the dark and was frightened by everything like it was alive.
ok this got too long. When i was a kid i did a "thought experiment" of what if everyone but me is a robot, even my mom right beside me. But i always figured that was normal kid brain trying to tackle with human consciousness. and i got over it.
I am very isolated have been for years now but i am so eager to make friends if i can get outside and despite covid
If anyone read this lets get to it am i gonna get schizophrenia lads lol
No. 651608
>>651515Anon is it possible some of it is like how in the dark a covered chair looks like a person? This article about bloody mary (lol) the explanations tab may be of interest
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bloody_Mary_(folklore) as that type of "hallucination" is normal
As for the rest yeah I think I have had similar. Honestly it took forcing myself to stay still (ok a bit out of fear) and closing my eyes to get past it. I realized the longer i waited for something to happen, it didnt. So like a paradoxical version of exposure therapy. Im sorry youre going through that anon especially for so long. For me even night lights didn't help as i still saw shadows and it made an eerie glow. Tbh can try sleeping with the lights on, its not easy but a way to start. good luck queen. maybe tell someone a professional even if there's no luck.
No. 651773
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>>651703whenever I try mentioning it to professionals they gloss over it like it's my anxiety so maybe I made it sound worse here than it is. however I never said everything this thoroughly before. it's really back of the mind and ignoring the voices helped. ok now I'll free up the thread sorry queens
No. 651859
>>651599Other than the fear of God (was raised atheistic), exactly same, down to checking for one-way-mirrors, feeling unsafe in windowless rooms and hearing people talk even though they shouldn't be. The only positive thing I got from this was having no presentation anxiety because I always felt watched anyway, so it didn't feel any different lmao.
I remember when it was particularly bad a few years ago I had some kind of semi-breakdown towards this* where I spent several days either hiding in my closet the entire day and walking with a blanket draped over myself when I had to leave it for the bathroom or so and bawling my eyes out while trying to find a way to finally be left alone and begged them to stop watching me because I'd really try to do anything as long as it was possible for me (I didn't get a response, of course, why should I lol).
*As stupid as this sounds, I remember this happening due to the Truman show lmfao. I switched through TV channels and just when I turned to this one channel the movie started and I thought the movie is popular, it sounded kinda interesting and I've wanted to watch it since forever anyway, so I might as well do it now. Then that scene where Trumans best friend sits with him after he finds out he's being watched and his friend being all like "Noooo, that's not true, let's get onto this together" while lying directly into his face about this, and the fact that I took my perfect channel-switch-watch timing as a sign just completely did it for me, it was a complete confirmation of my fears for me and it felt like they're making fun of me lmao.
I don't feel like I'm being watched as if it was a TV show like it was the case with that movie, but that's
of course because they had to change the circumstances to not make it too obvious, right?
Unrelated to that above but ever since I was a child I also had a fear of somebody tampering with my food. Like, there were days where I went to bed saying I wasn't hungry while I very much was hungry just because I was scared somebody put something in my food, either poison to kill me or some kind of chip or sth like this to hear my thoughts (because apparently, those watching me still weren't able to do this and they're leaving me alone at least in my head) even though I've never had any reason to suspect someone in my family doing this. I also have phases where I refuse to touch anything in public because I think somehow this will lead to me being traced in some kind of way. That's why I love winter, I can wear gloves without it being obvious I'm just being stupid.
This got way longer than I intended it to, I'm so fucking sorry lmao. My friends know I have some problems with food prepared by other people (can't eat anything I didn't see made personally up to this day) and hate cameras with the passion of a billion burning suns, but don't know exactly why. They don't push me to tell them (they're understanding if I say I just feel uncomfortable eating out "because of all the horror stories you hear like people spitting into it" or being photographed "you kno, bad self esteem and all that, yes?") but are always like "We wouldn't judge you so if you ever feel the need to talk we're here" and I'm really, really thankful for them understanding this stuff but typing this shit out really just confirmed for me to never say this out loud because of how deranged this sounds and I'd rather not have them know this lmao.
No. 661384
>>661352If you were using tinder you have to connect through Facebook so if you have the app downloaded and were logged in you probably gave the app permission to connect to the account with out noticing. I've read on the dating app thread on /g/ that that happens more frequently than you'd expect. Just block him on both accounts.
>>661374Though those can be real concerns, anon you sound like you need legitimate help. Those are a lot of hoops a man has to jump trough just to find her other socials when most dating aps have ways to connect other social medias like Facebook and Instagram.
No. 663399
File: 1604091489729.jpg (19.89 KB, 700x467, 38914155.jpg)
I'm not schizo but I felt this might be edgy for confession thread kek
I routinely imagine my loved ones dying in brutal manner, imagine their corpses as best I can. Ranging from extreme car crashes to deranged murder. I feel like I need to mentally "prepare" myself for when/if it happens. I prepare myself to find someone hanging from the ceiling when I come home from work quite often.
No. 663457
>>663429It's not like I wish something bad to happen. I'm just scared of being caught off guard by death.
>>663436Yeah my therapist definitely doesn't think it's helpful. I have issues dealing with things outside of my control and set up bizarre doomer scenarios in my head to "practice" and grieve in advance.
No. 664116
>>663457I'm the same, but it's not only for loved ones dying but almost all kinds of situations, like planning what to do if i get hit by a car, assaulted, robbed, if someone betrays me.
Mine also doesn't think it's helpful but it's almost impossible to stop right? once you get used to having the safety of a plan to fall back on i don't see how you can juat be vulnerable and clueless again and just wing it?
No. 664289
>>664274Not sure if this is the right thread for me to be giving commentary and stuff, but I think, for an independent artist, piracy is kind of a fact of life. I don't feel like there's really any way to prevent it. I think the only solution is to just design your career around the fact; e.g., emphasizing donations, making media that garners a devoted userbase over mass appeal. When you think about it that way, it's not even necessarily bad. For example, people who often get deplatformed benefit from piracy because people will proliferate their stuff on all sorts of services that they wouldn't otherwise, whether that's because of prohibitions or simply disinterest. Free advertising by the people who know their favored platform the best.
You can go the drm route, but, the thing about that is that drm doesn't really exist stop piracy, so much as to postpone privacy so big studios with massive margins can milk that first week of sales (which is there most profitable, anyway). For an indie artist, it's really only there to antagonize your audience. The other option is to be really litigious. Certainly, I think it's a good idea for artists with commercial ambitions to actually register their copyright, if for no other reason than to protect yourself from copyright trolls. But, I think most copyright fiends either sue to make an example out of someone or to make a profit out of someone rather than to actually protect themselves. There's no question whether the person you accost is even interacting with your work in a way that your audience would consider all that evil.
Also, people tend to pull hair over the prospect of some anonymous person stealing their stuff, but I find it interesting how people overlook the EULAs you sign when using services like YouTube and DeviantArt that basically concede your copyright. And then there's the numerous anecdotes of said services actually taking artists' works for commercial purposes without attribution or royalties because they've technically already consented. We're so fixated on the filthy masses that we blindly fall into the arms of our abusors.
No. 664295
>>664268I have a similar relationship with my own mother. I ended up changing my number twice. The first time, she somehow coerced my uncle into giving her my number. The fact that he felt it appropriate to give here my number at all was irritating. It frustrates me, because my other uncle just complained about why he had to change my number in his contacts, and my aunt also brings up my mother sometimes, asking me if I've heard from her. I ask her to stop, and she always brings up that "but she's your mother" bs. I know if I respond too harshly, they're just gonna recoil and act indignant, like they didn't warrant such a reaction from me. Sometimes I just wonder what if they even care about what they say to me or they just mindlessly vocalize whatever comes to their mind.
I'd say that's pretty normal for a family, though. A family isn't really a group of people who care about each other, it's just a cluster of people that are blood-related. Can you really embrace your role in something you didn't choose yourself? I don't think there's a lot of people in the world that are seriosly invested in anyone but themselves outside of what's necessary to garner positive interactions out of others. It's good to cherish relationships when you can make them; coincidentally, some may be familial, but a good relationship isn't really dependant on that, I think.
No. 817059
>>817054>>817056I literally feel like he's been replaced by someone else who looks and sounds like him. I don't trust him right now lol. It's weird as hell. I angrily asked him "Why does it feel like I've come home to a stranger" and he was really offended but if he could just see exactly what I see… he'd understand….
It doesn't help that I don't have object permanence most of the time so my mind can alter what his face actually looks like.
No. 839309
I live in a house where the kitchen has has a huge window in front of the sink, and it curves outward so that there's a space in front of the sink (I hope that makes sense). Because of this there are no blinds or curtains, so you can see out/in the kitchen at all times. During the day it's never a problem but it's pretty fucking spooky at night. With the light on in the kitchen on you can't see jack shit out the window, except for street lights and the lights inside the neighbor's house (which are usually turned off), and whenever I go into the kitchen at night (which is every night lol) I'm scared that someone's standing outside the window watching me. It's very possible if the person's standing a few feet away from the window, they can just hide in the darkness. It also doesn't help that the window is close to the gate to the backyard, which is pretty easy to open from the outside, and is sometimes left open. Nowadays I'm not quite as concerned, since my parents (I'm living with them until I finish college, don't judge) installed some cameras outside the house, but I still can't shake the feeling of being watched whenever I go into the kitchen at night and look out that window.
No. 839325
>>839289What the fuck is this 1800s medical torture, they actually just go ahead and do pap smears?! My first and only pap was done by a calming lady and it was still traumatic.
I'm convinced dentists are sadists. Who else likes making ppl unable to speak, at their mercy, with sharp shit in their mouths? My last dentist made a swallowing joke in the middle of a painful procedure and I wanted to strangle him with the spit suction tube. But I had to just sit there plastic block keeping my mouth open while he skewered my gums. Fuck him. Ugly fucking curry shitstain. Only going to female dentists and doctors.
No. 839635
I am always worried about dumb shit I did online when I was twelve surfacing. The fear is so bad I cannot be around other people taking pictures.
I also worry anytime somebody knows my address that they are going to use it to blackmail me later in life.
Often when I'm out, I worry that people or cars are following me.
It isn't as bad now, but when I was a kid, I'd worry that my family was replaced by space aliens. I also worried parasites were crawling up my spinal chord into my brain stem, so I frequently shoved down on my back to try and push them back down before they reached my brain (rationally, I knew none of those things could happen, but I couldn't stop the strange behaviours).
When I was 10 until about the age 13, I was terrified of certain types of bugs. I was afraid they'd elongate or clone themselves, and it was so bad I couldn't stand being in my house.
I have trouble watching television shows where the actors aren't dead, because I can imagine them all hating me, and dead people can't hate me.
Not schizophrenic, but yea, it runs in the family. Therapists are starting to wonder if I'm schizotypal, which is a surprise to pretty much nobody who knows me, lol.
No. 841062
File: 1624948585051.jpg (173.22 KB, 874x1116, EaTIyWwU8AAeeAb.jpg)
My mom has schizophrenia so of course through growing up with her, some of her behaviors rubbed off on me and I can't shake them off. I'm so particular with letting people know where I am; my immediate relatives don't have my address/previous addresses for example, and some of my old friends don't know what country I'm currently living in, and that's fine. I used to shred papers I didn't need that had my address on them in the past (e.g. junk mail), but I've gotten better at just throwing them away. There are other little quirks of mine that are, ah, "schizo-like", but I'm very thankful I don't suffer from visual/audial hallucinations. Phew.
For more specific stuff though, something horrible happened in my youth which caused me to be scared of showing my face online. The summary of it is: men are disgusting. What if I come across someone who recognizes me? Chances are slim to none, but the thought lingers. There are other people I'm hiding from too so I'm avoiding it altogether. I don't even use avatars from series' I like anymore to try and further throw off anyone I'm avoiding who might encounter my new accounts.
No. 842888
File: 1625116392528.jpg (26.09 KB, 500x297, d83bda0bcb330a7fd2da68226e8400…)
I have an intense paranoia of my SO cheating on me, because I literally have nowhere else to go. This devolves into worrying even when there is no evidence to back it up at all. My brain will take difference sides to argue why it's stupid or illogical, but nothing changes how I feel about it.
I live in a place where mental illness isn't well understood, and the fact that I don't speak the language well enough to even attempt to find a therapist. Being poor sort of doesn't help with this whole thing.
I am a shut in because I can't get myself to go outside at all, I can't even get myself to do the simplest task. I got ADD medications, and they help for mental tasks, but they don't help with physical tasks. The paranoia starts trickling into my normal worries and causes me to ghost people, and post bizarre things on social chat places. So many accounts abandoned, so many normal friendships ruined. I harmed so many people because of the paranoia. I feel backed into a corner, and fighting off suicidal thoughts is increasingly difficult, unless I force myself into a dissociative fugue state.
No. 853680
>>853665I would trust my gut feeling
nonnie. If you're so uneasy to the point you're planning to audio record the whole night, just make some shit up and bail (oh my parents found out and they want me back for the night). I'd rather potentially miss out on a fun night than be crazy anxious the whole time and probably not enjoy myself. Stay safe.
No. 853694
>>853677You might be overthinking it, you might not, there's no way to tell. But I'm a firm believer in following my gut instinct, like
>>853680 said if you're this worked up it's better to
maybe miss out on a fun night than be so anxious you audio record the night. It will be a test of your bf because if he's too pushy about trying to convince you to go to then that's not a good sign. Yes men are typically more sex driven than us but the good ones will understand, the good ones will know when a woman is anxious you give her space and gently comfort her. It's up to you, if you do go then be careful, audio record and try to talk to him about your boundaries and feelings about sex. If you don't go, don't let him guilt trip you and make you feel bad for worrying. Trust your gut. I hope things go well either way. Stay safe. ♥
No. 853778
>>853775Same
nonnie, it's why I haven't been able to make friends. I know it isn't productive to blame other people, but I wish they could all know and understand how they broke me and how it's impacted my life after all this time. Now I have to pick up all the pieces and fix myself, alone.
No. 855677
File: 1626466254466.jpeg (38.61 KB, 557x551, images - 2021-07-17T040927.915…)
>>855606I once saw my dad have vouyer/ hidden camera videos on his phone. He sometimes film women on public transport (or asks for them from his friends idk) and that's what got to me
No. 855713
File: 1626469318993.gif (1.25 MB, 468x498, tenor (18).gif)
My dad went to the gun range today, I think he's about to kill me and my mother when she gets back from work.
No. 855729
>>855713Get out of there? Why would you wait for him to get back home if you think that?
Post an update later
nonny so I don’t worry about you and your mom.
No. 873671
File: 1628207976249.jpg (147.22 KB, 1200x1600, 61031240621ed.image.jpg)
A woman was gruesomely murdered in my area and I, like other women, am really worried about my own safety. The FBI were called likely due to the way she was murdered which is indicating that the killer will kill again. For people who don't know, Katie Janness was:
> A 40 year old lesbian woman with a female partner and a dog. She worked as a bartender up until her death. She lived in a known gay area of Atlanta where the attack also took place.> She was killed while taking her dog out at night in the local park. Her girlfriend was the one who found her after she went out looking for her. > The dog tried to defend her and was stabbed and killed. Katie died by 30+ stab wounds. Parts of her body were "missing" from the crime scene. After she was dead, it's rumored that the killer cut off her breasts, her eyelids, and cut down to her vagina.https://www.wsbtv.com/news/local/fbi-joins-investigation-into-womans-gruesome-stabbing-death-piedmont-park/INZ2TPVR5VCN5LEBGGGG2FUGCE/I think the LGB component might actually be significant as the area is very very LGB friendly, you can even see a rainbow-painted street in the CCTV recording of Katie walking her dog. Obviously a white male did this just statistically speaking as serial killers are most likely to murder within their own race and even more likely to be male. But specifically targeting a lesbian? Who feels so entitled to lesbians? I really have to think she was killed by a MtF trooncel. To all my fellow Atlantan farmers, trust no man and definitely trust no troon right now. And also don't go to Piedmont Park–APD issued a warning for all women to stay away from it.
No. 873678
>>873671Clicked this from the front page because the tortie is cute and now I'm just sad. RIP Katie and her wife must be horrified and will need a lot of trauma and grief counselling considering she found her…. this is disturbing. Be safe,
nonnie.
No. 873835
File: 1628224363328.jpg (18.93 KB, 578x495, FB_IMG_1450724391619.jpg)
>>873831this sounds like bpd anon idk get some talk therapy or something
No. 873847
File: 1628225965488.jpeg (31.98 KB, 380x500, download (3).jpeg)
>>873458Ppl are animals with a nice collar. I have acne + receded lower jaw. Since wearing masks I've been treated so much better, almost everyone is patient and nice. Is this what normal women get treated like? Compared to before when I would be blantantly ignored, get sneers, cold curt interactions, etc even at work/school. But now that I've gotten a taste of what normal ppl live like… I want to never see or speak to another person again. They disgust me, shallow pieces of shit who only think with their lizard brain. A lifetime of social trauma could have been avoided if I could have just worn a mask.
No. 874442
File: 1628275836909.webm (2.37 MB, 480x480, 1558284983972.webm)
>>873835Nonnie thank you for your reply but I have gone to some psychiatrists and I was diagnosed with C-PTSD instead. I don't have the money currently to go see a therapist because I recently quit my job, but I was considering going to my uni's therapist this semester. Thanks for your concern
No. 890875
I just spent four hours trying to prove a random woman on a facebook community group is a human trafficker.
>random untalented hobby photographer asking for newborns due in september for a free photo shoot
>she has a studio in [shady industrial area] but she's doing these shoots for free for her portfolio
>requests nobody add her on Facebook but rather gives a Whatsapp number for contact
>smells fishy, check her profile
>she has different flavours of the same request in this group often, always specific like baby must be 10-14 weeks old, or baby must be female
>Red flags everywhere
>Google to find her website, which she doesn't share in the posts
>all photos of tiny babies front and centre, she has been doing this since 2017 and clearly has a full portfolio already
>Alarm bells ringing
>Dig deeper
>Her (pretty unique) name comes up in an article about a baby's mysterious death at a daycare in 2009
>She was named as the marketing manager of this daycare, which is similar to her current job and experience on LinkedIn, and location matches as well, almost definitely her
>This daycare inundated with stories from parents that their kids come home beaten and bruised, one says she saw a woman toss a baby to the floor on CCTV
>Case goes nowhere because baby's autopsy says she died of pneumonia/natural causes, though the parents insist she was fine when they dropped her off that morning
>Further digging into the daycare brings up dead ends and no further link to this photographer
>put her Facebook pictures on Pimeyes and find some solo porn that might be hers or a doppelgangers, nothing else helpful
She's probably just a harmless corny Anne Geddes wannabe. It's probably nothing. I don't know what to do.
No. 890894
>>890875As
>>890886 says, there'd be an uproar if even one baby got kidnapped, and why would she use her real name to do it? She sounds like a weirdo, but human trafficking of this sort doesn't really exist in the US. The only thing I can think of that would be remotely plausible is that she's using the pictures to run an adoption scam, but that's also fanfiction-tier unlikely.
No. 890896
>>890886>where are the babiesShould have mentioned I'm in a shithole country, anon. Kids going missing is not nationwide news, especially if they come from poor communities.
I looked up the national missing persons register and there is one baby missing from the area where she operates.
This place is also so poor (especially since the pandemic) it might be that they are simply offering to buy the babies from the parents rather than kidnap them.
>>890881No thanks, I'd rather keep my schizo tendencies closeted for now.
>>890875I thought of sending a tip but anonymous tips don't really exist in this country, so I would have to put my name and retarded google conspiracy theory on record, and odds are nobody would do anything about it, except maybe go to her for a bribe if she was actually a human trafficker.
No. 890915
Update, I found an international human trafficking organisation who has a local chapter, I just submitted an anonymous tip to them. I know I'm probably crazy but on the off chance I'm not, I can at least say I tried to do something.
Below is a copy because I don't want to have this on my computer. Not a dox because this is all public info and she posts on public groups.
A woman named Helen Van Der Schyff is posting in Facebook groups asking very specifically for access to babies to take free photographs of. Incredibly suspicious as she is clearly not a beginner (her website lightaffairphotography.co.za has been active since 2017) so she does not need to "fill her portfolio" as she claims, and as the shoots are free it's strange she requests specific babies (eg no males or must be 10-14 days old). I'm worried she's trafficking these babies or is a front for someone else who is. There are many posts found here: https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=helen%20van%20der%20schyff and a sample is below.
Her recent posts in "I Know A Guy" Facebook Group:
Aug 22 2021: "Hey everyone. I am looking for newborn baby models for a free shoot. You will receive all the images and no cost to you. We provide evrything. Baby must be duenin SEPT. My studio is in Centurion. If you are keen pls drop me a wa to 0829580304. Pls dont send me a friend req. All ethnicities please"
Aug 16th: "Hi everyone… We are looking for little models forna shoot inspired by these pics. You will receive all the images and we may use selected images for web and social media. Lookingnfor boys and girls. Pls drop. Me a whatsapp to 0829580304 with a recent pic of baby thanks"
Jul 21: "Hey everyone. Its time to look for model families again. This time we are looking for families with a 3-6 month old baby. If you have an older child that will also be great. We will do a beautiful lifestyle shoot in YOUR home and you will receive all the images as well as a highlights video. If you are keen, please drop me a WA to 082 958 0304. Please dont send me a friend req. We are looking for all ethnicities thanks
Photographer - 10 years experience"
Dec 2 2020: "Hello Everyone. I am a professional Photographer (est. 10 years) and am looking for a newborn Baby Girl for a model shoot. The shoot is NO CHARGE to you and you will receive all the edited images. Baby should be around 10-14 days old. Studio is in Centurion. Please whatsapp me on 082 958 0304 thanks. Sorry no boys please" No. 890934
>>890875>>890915>takes pics of babies and toddlers, who look the same no matter sex>must be girlsHonestly this sounds shady as fuck.
>South AfricaThat explains it.
No. 891342
>>890915Sex trafficking is the 21st century’s satanic panic and this is absolutely not what it looks like.
Unless there’s an epidemic of missing babies in your area anon, you need to lay off the true crime podcasts and cold case wine mom FB groups
No. 891345
>>891342It's in South fucking Africa anon and it's the summer of 2021. Google what's going on outside of your hovel in Podunk, Alabama. It's not a safe place to look for photoshoots of newborns, or one where people are adequately protected.
Fucking yanks I swear.
No. 891350
>>890875>shoots for free>wants no tracks ("Don't add me, contact me on WhatsApp")>specific ages/genderOkay this is looking suspicious, but maybe it's noth-
>daycare abuse historyWtf
No. 891357
>>891347I genuinely don't get posters like that. "Sex trafficking = satanic panic", like what the fuck is wrong with you? What's next? Pornhub is an innocent platform and Craigslist is safe?
It's like they believe nothing bad ever happens in the world, and if it does, they could never find out about it from anywhere except news reels, even in a remote way, like someone on an anonymous imageboard they browse finding out (because ???), so they might as well just dismiss/deny it.
If there's nothing going on, what's wrong with an investigation?
No. 891603
>>891555But even if she was taking stock photos or genuinely padding out her portfolio with every age (to the week) and race of baby, it still doesn't explain…
>must be female>only connecting through burner number>not stating what the images are used for, just that parents will get a copy Look through the posts linked, this isn't the first time she's under suspicion because she's been banned from groups before. Her only other types of photography besides family (but must have babies/toddler age kids) is "sexy" shoots of specifically black women.
>ruined her lifeBeing creepy isn't a crime, so if she's innocent nothing bad will happen. Even if this thread shows up on Google, it's literally a schizo thread on an anon board, only stating verifiable facts. Plus this clearly isn't her income, so there's nothing lost even if people connect the dots and see her photography as shady. Maybe it'll encourage her to just buy a Reborn doll for her "art" if that's all this is.
No. 892103
>>891603how would you feel if someone baselessly accused you of human trafficking?
>>891605There was nothing about this particular situation that was suspicious, though. All of the photographer's comments were just normal photographer stuff, and the idea of somebody trying to snatch children via parenting groups on facebook, using her full name no less, makes absolutely no sense if you give the idea a single grain of thought. This kind of baseless reporting just clogs up resources that can be directed towards actually combating human trafficking and puts an innocent person at risk in the process.
No. 892109
>>892103>>891555Nta, but did you forget
>>Her (pretty unique) name comes up in an article about a baby's mysterious death at a daycare in 2009>She was named as the marketing manager of this daycare, which is similar to her current job and experience on LinkedIn, and location matches as well, almost definitely her>This daycare inundated with stories from parents that their kids come home beaten and bruised, one says she saw a woman toss a baby to the floor on CCTVAlso, saying that she just wants to pad her portfolio with different types of work doesn't really make any sense if her portfolio is already exclusively baby photos (which it is according to OP, since 2017). It's just a weird situation, and I don't blame OP for reporting it.
No. 892114
>>892109What would the marketing manager have to do with anything involving the kids?
>saying that she just wants to pad her portfolio with different types of work doesn't really make any sense if her portfolio is already exclusively baby photosPhotographers who shoot things like baby pics and weddings have to follow their client's wishes. If a photographer wants to exercise creative freedom then they have to recruit models for it. It's really that simple.
No. 892121
File: 1629937306878.png (254.2 KB, 1550x598, Trafficking recruitment tactic…)
>>891347When did I say that I don't believe that sex trafficking is real? Of course it is, but this is NOT how it happens. Upper-middle class women aren't being abducted in Target parking lots in broad daylight, established photographers aren't asking for babies to photograph but really selling them into sex slavery, the phishing emails people get aren't an attempt to track them and break into their windows and kidnap them, on and on and on with these alarmist fake stories that 1. Make women more afraid and paranoid than they need to be 2. Waste the resources of police and anti-trafficking organizations.
The sad truth is that the vast majority of women are trafficked by friends, family, and employers. People they know. Or they're born into it, or they're so poor that they have no other choice, or they're addicts, or they're severely mentally ill. If you live in a developed country and have a relatively stable life, your risk of being trafficked is small.
Sex and labor trafficking is an extremely severe issue and should be treated as such. Millions of men and women are being trafficked right under our noses, yet people don't even know what trafficking actually looks like because of sensationalist lies spread on social media.
No. 892127
>>892121To add to this, even in poorshit countries where child trafficking by strangers is a not-extremely-rare problem, it looks nothing like
>>890915, see
https://www.guernicamag.com/the-limits-of-jurisdiction for an example. Why would somebody make up some convoluted story about being a photographer and target middle-class families on a social media website (while making no effort to disguise their identity no less) when they could just coerce destitute mothers into giving up their kids or just snatch them out of townships where the authorities don't have the resources or desire to look for them?
No. 892130
>>892127Yes, this. The reality of human trafficking is so depressing and depraved. A lot of trafficking
victims enter trafficking semi-willingly too, which I don't think is discussed enough.
No. 899807
>>899781Schizophrenia in women usually appears in late 20s/early 30s.
So unless you’re a scrote, you have the next decade or so to be afraid of.
No. 899895
File: 1630713150605.jpeg (56.2 KB, 749x729, 1629917378440.jpeg)
>date some engineer guy who is super tall and nice
>he's insane and throughout the entire relationship was hacking my social media accounts
>idk what its called but he had my phone on his computer entirely, he read texts, wattapps, messenger messages, gmails, insta dms, twitter dms, he even read my tumblr dms
>he had hacked other girls before me and knew how to make it look normal. i had no idea he was ever in my accounts cause he left no traces. but i know he read it because he admitted it multiple times, he harassed me about it and made it clear he was keeping tabs on every social
>we were together for almost two years
>its been almost a full year since we broke up but i still feel watched
>im constantly checking devices and stuff on my accounts. but i know its useless cause if he was really reading me he wouldn't leave a trace he never did and was cocky about it.
>i have no proof or reason to believe hes still watching me. its been a year and we have not spoken since the breakup.
>i still feel watched
>my best friend also tells me to be careful with what i text people cause my ex could be watching me and using things against me…
>she also believes he could be reading me still… he was very unhinged…
>i tell myself he's not watching what i do anymore but i cant take the feeling away entirely
>i remember how every "bad" thing i said he would use it against me like he would save every single ""bad"" thing i told others. like id tell a close friend something, six months later my ex bf would quote that word for word and id be speechless… this happened so many times.
>every "bad" thing i say im always paranoid hes reading it and saving it like he always did
>cant stop feeling hes out there reading still. he spent two years reading. i tell myself he stopped. but i cant be sure …
No. 904684
>>899895That's so awful. He's a piece of shit. You could take legal actions if you have psychologic problems because him, that's hardcore cyberstalking. You deserve to be safe.
>change your phone and number >block him everywhere>change your passwordsI totally understand you because an ex hacked one of my accounts.
No. 917439
>>905707Mindfuck him and cheat first
The only men who've ever been obsessed with me were the ones I completely disrespected.
No. 925315
File: 1632815039976.jpeg (Spoiler Image,185.54 KB, 828x472, 11A0D174-E880-4877-B790-6EEC1E…)
Watched a YT video about pinworms and looked up how you could get them and now I only want to wear a hazmat suit for the rest of my life.
No. 926520
>>9265082-3 in my life have anger issues, reason to harm me and nothing to lose.
one especially.
if i think i'm in iminent danger i will kill myself
i watched enough people being stabbed to death to refuse that fate
No. 926562
>>899807NTA but i'm 23 and i'm beginning to show signs of schizophrenia, mostly auditory hallucinations and i am previously diagnosed with schizoid and paranoid personality disorder and my mom's father had schizophrenia and really bad tinnitus
i did have a lot of traumatic events in my life and i think my grandma dying maybe caused it to develop much earlier, i also probably smoke too much weed but i also have chronic back pain that living with makes me want to kill myself and it's the only thing that helps at the moment
No. 1293634
File: 1659921258934.png (52.88 KB, 506x500, by zoobus.png)
How much worse can things get?
No. 1293657
>>1257425If you have appropriate hips, do core exercises and squats birth isn't so bad
nonnie.. but I respect your choice you do you. I could see this happening in certain countries. Particularly Japan. If not rape then forced artificial insemination, or paying women to be breeding stock.
(what the fuck) No. 1293783
>>1257425There are some doctors willing to do tubals on women in their 20s. r/childfree is a hellscape but they have a list of recommended doctors for this exact reason.
>the health consequences are shit tooWhat health consequences? The only risk to a tubal is regular surgery risks or the rare event that the tubes reattach themselves.
No. 1293916
>>1293634This is what I found sus about the antimasker movement. Anyone interested in civil liberties before covid knew that facial recognition software was advancing with little regulation. Anyone actually paranoid about authoritarian government overreach should welcome the normalisation of masks. Suddenly, there was a bunch of civil liberty warriors who not only didn't want to wear masks but would harass and mock others who did wear them.
To me it seemed a lot like an astroturfed movement designed to make masks unpopular, associated with being overly compliant, so that as soon as laws lifted people would discontinue their use, especially demographics most invested in not obeying the state.
>>1293643Ring has already been in the news for third party trackers and sharing user data. Are you new to the internet or something? The data is worth a lot of money. The dystopia is in how the data is ultimately used but its a fait accompli at this point that the data can and will be sold off.
Also one doesn't have to be very special to worry about being recognised in the background of a viral video. You could just be trying to settle in a new city away from your
abusive ex who has threatened to kill you and your children. You could also be an asylum seeker from a country with a government known for tracking people down overseas.
China developed facial recognition software specifically for recognising the features of the Uyghur ethnic group, the people they have rounded up into "re-education camps" in Xinjiang province. We also know that Chinese authorities can harvest data from Tiktok. Finally, Uyghur refugees have reported harassment and intimidation from Chinese authorities even after they resettle overseas. Put that all together and imagine if you're a Uyghur refugee who has just had your face recorded by some TikToker. It
is a dystopia for many people and it didn't get that way overnight, these systems have been decades in the making.
No. 1293960
>>1293934>look up Nazi Germany era crimes in order to back up my claimWe’re in 2022, in America. Just because people are starting to become a little more cognizant to the fact that life is not as cheap as an appointment at planned parenthood does not mean that people want to put you in breeding camps. Get over yourself, seriously. You sound like a hysterical teenager who wants to be a
victim so you have some trauma to write an instagram caption about.