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File: 1602176104204.jpg (524.99 KB, 1280x1736, PicsArt_10-08-11.45.11.jpg)

No. 650010

Discuss old Famous or Influential dead people as lolcow.

Since Lolcow is an Internet term, It will be intersting that some old famous or Influential people is a lolcow if they didn't die in era before the internet or born in internet era.

No. 650011

Are you okay?

No. 650021

Historical people as lolcow would be accurate tbh.

No. 650028

File: 1602176796210.jpg (56.95 KB, 397x493, William_McGonagall.jpg)

wasn't this guy kind of an og lolcow? William McGonagall, wrote notoriously terrible poetry that people enjoyed ironically at the time

No. 650030

Something about the bad grammar is sending me. Anyways, I can imagine Marie Antionette having a thread here.

No. 650031

File: 1602176905989.jpeg (38.01 KB, 469x654, 07C6C2D6-C743-43E6-9AA9-4E2C0D…)

My girl Florence Foster Jenkins of course. People watched her shows to hear her awful singing. She thought they were genuine fans.

No. 650071

How many Roman emperors would have had threads here?

No. 650089

>>650071
Nero is a confirmed BPDchan

No. 650098

>>650071
Caligula 100%

No. 650105

File: 1602179825677.png (341.18 KB, 2518x1024, 38FC5FBE-E861-436B-AC17-1AA172…)

Any time a Tesla thread would be made, you know half the replies would be insane sperging a la Kiki by our favorite moneygrubber Thomas Edison.

No. 650110

>>650089
that sent me

No. 650146

michelangelo would be an art cow today, he threw massive hissy fits if people criticized his work.

hans andersen was a huge dramaqueen too.

No. 650207

File: 1602182863156.jpg (96.25 KB, 780x1024, 0cf5c945ad6c84276f8183d92e6881…)

The roman emperor Elagabalus, the original AGP, some Twitter troons are even trying to reclaim him as a proud transwomyn uwu.

No. 650220

einstein gets a callout post and hes on a terf and aphobe blocklist

No. 650227

Andrew Jackson is cow incarnate

No. 650228

>>650021
Accurate, but not fun to say.

No. 650240

Lots of Japanese historical figure can be a lolcow lol

No. 650241

>>650146
Sage for double post. Van Goth somehow is a lolcow material

No. 650268

>>650241
is van gogh the most talented person currently posting in the art salt thread? let's discuss.

No. 650271

>>650268
let's ask the thread

No. 650282

>>650268
No, but he's the most sane person in that thread

No. 650290

Edgar Allen Poe would be the funniest lolcow if he were alive. Beef with two ugly side bitches, sexual predator, something to hate for everyone. Taft too only because of the tub incident.

No. 650297

Salvador Dali would have absolutely been a cow

the guy had an anteater he used to walk around with and threw at a lady on a talk show, an ocelot named babu, and was generally an attention whore irl shitposter

No. 650308

File: 1602186804116.jpg (286.22 KB, 1242x1380, 20201009_025303.jpg)

Valid reason to cancel Genghis Khan??

No. 650309

>>650308
Because he's a thot that conquered half the continent

No. 650310

Warhol seems like a cow probably and the factory scene in general

No. 650312

every single republican president since 1960 could be considered a lolcow

No. 650315

>>650207
He was gay as fuck though so does he even count as agp?

No. 650324

Offtopic, Is ok to dicuss historical event as internet drama lol?

No. 650326

File: 1602187468983.jpg (303.23 KB, 943x1118, SmartSelect_20201008-160135_Ch…)


No. 650332

File: 1602187743218.jpeg (383.72 KB, 750x1131, 14146759-2AAD-4F78-9612-FB7C1C…)

Typhoid Mary would certainly have her own thread.

No. 650337

File: 1602188054347.jpg (141.28 KB, 1200x1200, didilie.jpg)

He would lurk here (but never announce himself), actively post on other boards, and be a public lolcow. He loved attention, after all.

No. 650340

File: 1602188172951.jpeg (95.98 KB, 761x944, FFA61BF9-89C9-43F4-BE3A-D64CB1…)

John Wilmot, notorious party-er and manhoe who died at 33 of syphilis and other STDs

No. 650395

File: 1602189878977.jpg (73.02 KB, 627x849, 93d8af78575a4e62f76d05c350e04f…)

I love these threads
>>650030
Oh God yes. Also the Romanovs. Particularly right before the Russian Revolution when Rasputin was around.
>Tinfoiling about Alexei's illness and whether Rasputin and Queen Alexandra were fucking or not
>Endless milk about Rasputin and his followers

No. 650407

File: 1602190324631.jpg (104.04 KB, 800x1215, classycow.jpg)

>Fic writer
>Simp
>Kill or send to hell any person who dislikes or has done something to him(in his fics)

No. 650412

File: 1602190513153.jpeg (505.03 KB, 1105x1600, F630037F-122E-45FF-B56B-66B54F…)

Surprised nobody has mentioned this famous manwhore yet, can you imagine the amount of threads he would fill?

No. 650422

I can imagine countless of threads about the Occult. Particularly Aleister Crowley/Jack Parsons crowd. They would be the early 20th century equivalent to Goth/Alt cows.

>>650412
Kek. He would rightfully piss off anons for being a fatfuck who marries a ton women only to get rid of them (by execution in some instances). And let's not forget his quest for a male heir. Henry the VIII would be the Onision if lolcow existed in those times.

No. 650423

>>650407
I'm a simp for him. He was done dirty

No. 650424

>>650407
He’s like the king of simps, the ultimate simp, ultra simp. He’s such a simp he became famous because of his simpness.

No. 650430

File: 1602191838493.png (490.92 KB, 459x651, Frances_Farmer_restrained_1943…)

SO MANY stars of old hollywood. People put them on perma-pedestal now but they were basically ethots of today without social media or plastic surgery. Frances Farmer, the original celebricow notliketheothergirls, can you imagine how much she would shitpost about #Metoo calling out Clifford Odets? Also: Merle Oberon (half indian actress/possible SW who bleached her skin till it literally fell off in an attempt to pass), Veronica Lake (Lindsay Lohan of the 40s), Peg Entwitsle
(BPDchan) and Jayne Mansfield (Marilyn Monroe skinwalker satanist, can imagine her becoming a botched IG model and going on DR Phil talking about her BBLs). Also Howard Hughs, he was basically the Muskrat of his time collecting high profile actress girlfriends and spending his money on flexes to compensate for being a autistic weirdo.

No. 650434

>>650412
Lmao thank your for posting this anon he would be a legendary lolcow.

>be a peasant

>just finished paying your tax to the king so you only have enough money to buy two potatoes for your family to live off for three weeks
>just buried your child who died of malnutrition
>your inbred king announces catholicism is stupid and gay then converts to be a protestant so he can keep fucking his cousins until he gets a non sterile son
>announces taxes are going up because fuck you that's why

No. 650435

File: 1602192186404.jpeg (46.49 KB, 365x501, 97616574-95EE-47C7-88F3-89BD07…)

>>650430
Audrey Hepburn was a serial cheater and more or less functional alcoholic, I think its so weird that people put her in this uwu delicate untouchable pure pedestal just because she looks angelic and did charity work.

No. 650437

>>650422
Most of King Henry's wives were ancient by onions standards though, Anna Boleyn 32 when he married her and Catherine Parr was 31; the rest were around their mid 20s. Only Catherine Howard was jailbait at age 17.Literally even someone like Henry VIII was less pedo then onion.

No. 650438

File: 1602192788092.jpg (5.62 MB, 2993x3798, Juan_de_Miranda_Carreno_002.jp…)

He would have had some kind of Hartley Hooligan thread where the real cows were the family, and people would necro it every three months with "how can he still be alive?" type of posts.

No. 650441

File: 1602193242741.jpg (58.38 KB, 792x944, annelister.jpg)

Anne Lister was probably a cow for a while after she died.

>lobby against poor people being allowed to vote

>write diary detailing your lesbian affairs in code
>break one girl's heart so badly they send her to insane asylum
>never have children
>trick a priest into officiating the first ever lesbian marriage

No. 650444

File: 1602193390382.jpg (397.95 KB, 1200x1198, 1200px-Marquis_de_sade.jpg)

the og horrorcow

No. 650464

>>650332
>typhoid mary tracking thread in which anons would weaponize and combine their autism to create maps of contagion wherever she went
coronavirus threads could never

No. 650558

File: 1602202704310.jpg (83.05 KB, 426x568, Hitler_portrait_crop.jpg)

>The lengendary salty artist
become one of the world evil historical figure because rejected from Art school multitype times.

No. 650560

>>650558
Frequently banned for baiting with jew takes.

No. 650568

File: 1602203914983.jpg (86.93 KB, 449x449, lovecraft-and-a-cat.jpg)

White supremacist Lovecraft and his cat- uh.. yeah, you already know his name.

No. 650588

>>650444
>me: wow cute profile
>reverse image search
>marquisdesade.jpg
>im shook

No. 650589

File: 1602206199764.jpg (440.91 KB, 720x1440, Screenshot_2020-09-16-04-05-47…)


No. 650593

File: 1602206246109.jpg (7.39 KB, 136x185, 95b7fdcd3e03649edf7f87e1a7c57b…)

The OG attention whore.

No. 650608

>>650593
Histrionic BPD scrote with unwashed finger nails but he got the cute curl pattern and all the best soft boi lines so we let him leave a trail of UTIs

No. 650612

File: 1602207717558.jpg (75.61 KB, 465x742, 385cdd3eae95a5cd3b1bbaa7267b2e…)

>>650568
Lovecraft was a fucking sperg but he was genuinely afraid of everything different than the environment he grew up in. He's been extremely paranoid since childhood (which was pretty fucked up), a basement dweller unable to attend school. His racism was so exaggerated it was comical. I just can't take it seriously.

No. 650627

>>650568
>>650612
Lovecraft was truly born a century too early, he got his start in being published by spamming hundreds of rhyming troll letters to a magazine mocking another authors work, wrote something like 100,000 letters in his life filled with whining about how every aspect of modernity is the jews out to get the white man and had such bad mommy issues and/or autism his wife had to buy him a book about human sexuality to get him to have sex with her

he would have 100% been one of those pretentious alt-right author e-celebs along the lines of Vox Day who spends all day getting into arguments on twitter about how yoga pants are a degeneracy psyop until he gets banned for sending one of his racist poems to a black celebrity

No. 650654

>>650627
An average /pol/ user. Nothing special if you ask me.

No. 650658

File: 1602211799872.jpg (356.28 KB, 1280x962, 1280px-Dante_Domenico_di_Miche…)

>>650407
This guy write self insert ×Christian God fanfic
Probably have of lot kudo in ao3 if he still alive

No. 650671

File: 1602213014272.jpg (182.02 KB, 800x989, 1491_Henry_VIII.jpg)

>>650412
>>650434
Fat neckbeard throws a tantrum and creates a massive religious division in his country so he can fuck some thot fifteen years younger than him, only to falsely accuse her of sleeping with her brother so he can behead her. Calls his fourth wife an ugly hag despite the fact that he's an obese diabetic ogre with disgusting rotting sores on his legs. Blames his wives for his shit ability to sire children even though his own rare blood type is the reason his kids keep dying.

No. 650673

>>650438
>people would necro it every three months with "how can he still be alive?" type of posts.
giga kek

No. 650675

>>650671
he look like an average reddit neckbeard

No. 650677

File: 1602213373451.jpg (57.46 KB, 800x764, Casanova.jpg)

Literal rapist who fucked allegedly had a three way with his underage illegitimate daughter and her mother. Probably lied about 90% of his sexual exploits because that's the sort of thing an attention-seeking scrote would do before Plebbit was invented. Retarded people today hold him up as an example of a "romantic."

No. 650681

>>650290
>Taft too only because of the tub incident.

Spill the milk, anon.

(also, I vote from now on we post ITT as though each historical cow is still alive in their current era, and we rag on them as such. y/n?)

No. 650682


No. 650708

File: 1602216051042.gif (176.53 KB, 410x274, wheeze.gif)

>>650627
>he would have 100% been one of those pretentious alt-right author e-celebs along the lines of Vox Day who spends all day getting into arguments on twitter about how yoga pants are a degeneracy psyop until he gets banned for sending one of his racist poems to a black celebrity

No. 650716

File: 1602217204463.jpg (380.99 KB, 955x1221, Giovanni_Battista_Tiepolo_096.…)

>anachan, starves herself and refuses to eat anything but eucharist wafers
>munchie, pretends to be sick until family lets her join the church
>actually believes she's married to BABY jesus with a ring made of his foreskin
>self harms stigmata

most saints were probably extremely mentally ill, Catherine of Siena died of a stroke brought upon herself due to self-starvation.

No. 650721

File: 1602217846979.jpeg (25.54 KB, 620x413, images (53).jpeg)

>>650716
Most saint has obbsession serving the "God Purity/Will" or being r/iamverysmart Chirstian edition

No. 650722

File: 1602217861896.jpg (89.18 KB, 652x815, Zelda-F-Scott-Fitzgerald-1921.…)

Mostly mental illness

No. 650723

>>650722
Milk anon?

No. 650724

>>650722
shit op where's the milk /s

No. 650728

>>650721
HATE that bitch right there

No. 650734

>>650728
Still doesn't get it why she got a saint tittle
Some of the saints doesn't deserve to have a saint tittle tbh.
And there is some non Missionary,Nun, priest who deserve a Saint Tittle.

No. 650741

File: 1602219111097.jpg (955.68 KB, 1121x1920, Frances Farmer.jpg)

>schizophrenic, other untreated mental illnesses
>abusive, controlling family
>moved to California to act
>constantly photographed acting out in public
>atheist and communist in the 30s
>family forcibly committed her
>lobotomized
>died from smoking anyway
>Will Have Her Revenge on Seattle

No. 650742

>>650340

this made my night, anon.

No. 650744

>>650723
>>650724

>zelda fitzgerald, née sayre, is a rich white girl from the south

>f. scott is a poor white guy with no financial prospects but falls in love with zelda
>writes a book, gets rich, proposes to zelda, she says yes (golddigger)
>marriage becomes strained, he works too much and sometimes plagiarizes her work
>basically codependency and bpd and alcoholism
>zelda throws herself down the stairs because f scott is talking to another woman
>mental illness abounds
>zelda trains 8 hours a day to be a ballerina, gets stuck in sanatorium instead after a breakdown
>alcoholism and more alcoholism

No. 650764

>>650741
She’ll come back as fire to burn all the liars, leaving a blanket of ash on the ground

No. 650773

I'm legit liking this thread haha

No. 650783

File: 1602224059371.jpg (195.89 KB, 800x1145, jeanne-d-arc.jpg)

>crossdressing NLOG 17 y.o.
>claims to hear voices from god, literally travels to the king to tell him herself bc it's not like could have anything more important to worry about
>tries to make the 100 years war about 'muh religion!!!'
>pure snowflake, says she dresses in men's clothing to protect her virginity from scrotes
>claims to be incredible military leader, captured and executed less than a year into her career
>still has a legacy 500+ yrs later bc of annoying catholic simp fanbase

the fakeboi and tradthot threads would eat her up

No. 650784

File: 1602224097710.jpeg (71.61 KB, 440x305, E79DC9D4-2A45-4485-AA56-E98B8C…)

>narc
>tranny
>spoiled brat, hoarded at levels rivaling pixylocks
>used womens bathroom, bathed with the women, and even shaved their bushes knowing they were required to listen to him because of his power and status
>literally opened the bathrooms to the public so he could watch them bathe
>total AGP
>started a religious cult
>fucked literally like everyone
>finally stabbed to death by his soldiers while his grandma watched, everyone was tired of being buttfucked by him I guess

No. 650787

>>650783
>still has a legacy 500+ yrs later bc of annoying catholic simp fanbase
You forgot her anime adaptation and her weeb fanbase

No. 650813

File: 1602229388209.jpeg (171.15 KB, 1334x750, 9BE7C310-A132-4B0A-9B15-92EA3A…)


No. 650832

File: 1602231920524.jpg (1.51 MB, 2400x3576, Prince-Edward-Duke-of-Windsor-…)

Garbage selfish king who didn't give a hot shit about his job and threw his country into a crisis because he wanted to fuck a gold-digger from Burgerland. Sabotaged his own career by palling around with Nazis and being fascist-lite.

No. 650833

>>650146
>hans andersen was a huge dramaqueen too.
Can you give us an abridged history of Han's drama?

No. 650835

File: 1602233031494.png (172.64 KB, 329x400, Louis,_Count_of_Vermandois.png)

Basically everybody in King Louis XIV's court was a lolcow and I'll get to posting that eventually, but while I was researching I found this guy who looks like Matthew Broderick as a gay 17th century nobleman. He's not a cow, he just really looks like Matthew Broderick and it's unnerving. I call him "François Bueller."

No. 650896

File: 1602245714727.jpeg (8.88 KB, 180x281, images.jpeg)

Can we talk about this guy from Nazareth? He's getting pretty big.

>this guy, Jesus, thinks he's the literal son of god

>apparently his mother Mary was a virgin when he was born
>COPE, Joseph was clearly a cuck
>so delusional that he left his job as carpenter to go teach people about his god's philosophy or w/e
>heals people from leprosy and other diseases, and raises the dead?? witchcraft, devilry
>amasses bunch of followers, chooses 13 of them as his ""disciples""
>washes the feet of a prostitute, when she should have been washing his feet instead

And a lot more, but this covers the basics. Anyone got anymore milk?

No. 650898

>>650835
That was one of Louis XIV's bastard sons, he got himself caught in a gay scandal and then died young
I love that era tbh, spicy af

No. 650900

>>650896
> joseph was clearly a cuck
omg anon my sides!!

No. 650902

>>650896
That humblebragging hippy is so desperate for attention he will preach to anyone, he ranted at a tree of all things because he was angry it was out of season. His stans tried to make it into this big thing about spirituality and Israel afterwards but no lol just accept that your oppa was hungry and yelling at a tree

Imo he has some really good points but he goes about a lot of it the wrong way. Did anyone see when he flipped all those tables in a church because he didn't think capitalism and religion should mix? He might as well copy JKR and just chimp out on Twitter

No. 650913

>>650435
>serial cheater
That's interesting anon, I never knew that about her. I'm not a hardcore fan or anything like some people though, I just really like a couple of the movies she was in. Gonna read more on this.

No. 650921

>>650896
>Most of his stan worship him, but 99% doesn't understand his teaching

No. 650923

File: 1602250907558.jpeg (9.92 KB, 213x237, images.jpeg)

>>650896
Listen here you fucking slut, you will NOT talk like this about my husband ever again, if ever catch you, if I ever see any other word about him in here I'm going to make you pay, I'm sick I'm fucking mental I drink leprosy bath water for fucking laughs don't test me bitch because you will find me and you won't like what's coming for you

No. 650931

File: 1602251918401.jpg (80.22 KB, 640x640, 76bffa1648271e7be3b96ca80fe057…)

>>650896

I have to admin that I really love his music tho. Innerspeaker is my personal fave!

No. 650948

File: 1602252912644.jpg (179.1 KB, 940x528, gefuehlsduselei-oder-vernunft.…)

>insecure manlet, probably bi/gay in denial
>constantly whines about muh depression
>always on vacation to find himself
>kids an-hero because of his book
>refuses to marry the mother of his 5 children (who happens to be 18 years younger than him), only does so after she saves him of looting soldiers
>cuck, she's allowed to flirt with other men
>digs up the skull of his dead friend/crush, places him in his office and talks to him
>proposes to a 19-year-old at the age of 74, she declines, he claims that this is what's killing him

No. 650952

File: 1602254234779.jpeg (49.22 KB, 300x370, 5B8A7D0D-A3D6-487F-B116-B4ACA4…)

Surprised no one mentioned Tchaikovsky yet

No. 650956

File: 1602254531666.jpg (876.11 KB, 1066x1500, Sigmund_Freud_LIFE.jpg)

Fuckin' spamming gender critical and playing armchair psychologist for all the other cows itt

No. 650966

File: 1602255126034.jpeg (211.24 KB, 750x633, E6AFFBA0-7E41-42CE-954B-7D191F…)


No. 650967

File: 1602255159008.jpeg (1.48 MB, 1448x2016, A1423225-CBA3-4F09-B876-6B270B…)

> had a spanking fetish (he liked being spanked)
> lived with and had a sexual relationship with an older woman and called her “maman”
> flashed his ass to random ladies on the street
> sent away all his children instead of taking care of them
> once pretended to be an Englishman for no reason
> lied to a whole town about being a famous composer
That’s all I can think of right now but I read his autobiography once and he admitted all of this

No. 650970


No. 650979

>>650966
Kek wannarexic

No. 650980

>>650315
he wanted to be called a lady and tried to get the surgeons to cut off his dick

No. 650984

>>650967
Name this scoundrel

No. 650986

>>650984
Rousseau

No. 650989

>>650896
is this bait? only gore enthusiasts care about this guy. he has so many gore videos starring him on liveleak, i don't even know how he's still alive.

No. 651006

>>650568
Lovecraft was literally the original incel
>racist
>misogynist
>sheltered af
>probably on the spectrum

No. 651040

>>651006
Forgot
>Had a jewish wife but was antisemitic

No. 651047

>>650437
>Literally even someone like Henry VIII was less pedo then onion.
God this line sent me hard

>>650558
In 2020 he would be an antifa slacker sperging out about social issues on twitter and trying to cancel famous people while failing every attempt to hide his deeply ingrained misogyny and racism.

No. 651053

Who would be the Ben Shapiro? Can someone help me on that?

No. 651105

>>651040

is it bad that I could even imagine him having had a self hating Asian wife? all the hapacels claim to have had autistic white supremacist fathers and self hating Asian mothers

No. 651127

>>651105
self-hating asian wife that shitposts on 4chan because she feels comforted that her white boyfriend's status shields her? absolutely.

No. 651152

File: 1602262744596.jpg (335.94 KB, 800x1186, Aleister_Crowley,_Golden_Dawn.…)

>believes himself to be a warlock
>writes a book on magick, which includes recipes straight out of middle ages
>hires a teenage boy to fuck him in a pyramid
>tries to bring on the end of the world by creating antichrist
>born into massive wealth but squandered it all on magick and died in a poor house
>those clothes

Anons, it's been a while since I researched him but, boy, was aleister ever milky.

No. 651153

File: 1602262829830.jpeg (44.61 KB, 750x500, Sada_Abe_750-750x500.jpeg)

She would be a kinky cam girl/porn star until her inevitable incarceration for murder

No. 651158

>>651152
But pedophila is magick I SWEAR guys

No. 651206

File: 1602265391885.jpg (64.61 KB, 548x685, dostoyevsky.jpg)

>>650010
>bullied in school from grade 1
>also bullied by his own just-as-famous contemporaries because of his looks and personality
>literally almost fainted when a woman spoke to him, had to take a breather on a bench when he saw some pantyhose drying on a windowsill
>basically the OG gigaincel
>visited brothels and had violent, abusive sex with the prostitutes, was called the russian Marquis de Sade
>might've raped a 10 year old
>the one successful marriage he did have was with a crazy fan 20 years his junior who probably just developed Stockholm syndrome
>even then he was incredibly jealous, telling her to cover up, not to talk to other men, wear long, flowing clothes, etc.
>even then, he gambled her wedding dress and engagement ring away
>gambled pretty much everything away
Jeez, a horrorcow if anything

No. 651253

>>650833
>was bullied for being uggo with a squeaky voice
>incel who pretended to be a volcel
>always chasing after women out of his league and when they rejected him he wrote angsty stories about it
>was so shy that he tried to propose a woman with a letter
>she saw him as a brother and wrote "farewell … God bless and protect my brother is the sincere wish of his affectionate sister, Jenny"
>was friends with charles dickens but he got fed up with him
>when he visited dickens he demanded that one of his sons should shave him (they didn't comply)
>literally cried face down in dirt on charles dickens's yard
>stayed there for 5 weeks, pissing off the dickens family and after that dickens stopped responding to his letters
>tons of fobias, dogs, being burned alive, being buried alive, eating pork
>went to a brothel and paid a prostitute to undress in front of him
>most likely died a virgin even though he tried to court lot of women and men too

No. 651280

>>651153

Post milk anon, not everyone here knows your personal cows

No. 651302

>>650438
I could see the same shit with ancient Egypt's pharaohs, they were so inbred to keep their bloodlines pure, I've read some nightmarish descriptions.

>>650444
>sent to prison for being a legit sexual harasser and rapist
>"boohoo it's all because of censorship for my BDSM books, I'm the victim here!!"
Reminds me of greasy weebs thinking normies and fellow dedicated fans hating and reporting them for posting loli trash and disturbing coomer shit is an attack on free speech.

No. 651308

>>651206
Holy shit I didn’t know about all of this

No. 651314

>>650967
Speaking of which, he didn't just abandon all his children because he didn't care about them, he wrote a giant book about how parents should raise their kids. While being a deadbeat dad.

He had beef with Voltaire who was just as much of a hypocrite
>guy has slaves in America and owns businesses abroad linked to the whole slave trade shit going on back then
>writes book about bad things being bad
>whole chapter is about how slavery is bad and racism is bad
>"d-don't do as I do, do as I say!! It's ok if I have slaves as long as I say it's bad to have slaves!"

No. 651318

>>651280
uhm, we're not here to spoonfeed you, nonny. read the rules and learn to integrate.




(i'm so sorry, i couldn't resist.)

No. 651336

File: 1602271529414.jpg (177.57 KB, 770x1095, 43645765876.jpg)

Lmao I love this thread.

>almost solely responsible for the entire collapse of the Mongol Empire

>destruction he caused was done in such a pathetic and shitty way that virtually no one even knows his name or that he existed
>becomes entranced by a dying bunny's blood in the snow and thinks, "damn I wanna bang a girl that hot"
>advisor tells him, "yo, your son's wife is that hot"
>kills son
>rapes daughter-in-law and makes her his wife
>distraught daughter-in-law frames advisor so that he kills him too
>realizes he fucked up
>clan and allies think if the khan is a debauched, disloyal shithead then that means it's cool for them to be too
>once great empire with high standards of respect and morality among their own people engages in widespread depravity
>senior wife gets pissed off at his fuckery and finds a co-conspirator to kill him
>without a clear successor and his legacy of corruption, nation suffers from extreme turmoil for the following century

No. 651351

>>651318

It's not spoonfeeding if it's a literal nobody, at least post her socials reeeeeee

No. 651353

>>651351
Sad Abe
>Sada Abe was a Japanese geisha and prostitute who murdered her lover, Kichizō Ishida, via erotic asphyxiation on May 18, 1936, and then cut off his penis and testicles and carried them around with her in her kimono

No. 651357

>>651280

>as a young girl skips school to take geisha lessons, wore stylish make-up

>ends up becoming a low-ranking prostitute
>gains a reputation as a trouble-maker, steals from clients
>gets arrested in a police raid on the unlicensed brothel at which she was working
>the friend of the brothel owner, arranges to have her released, makes her his mistress, then complains about her being a nymphomaniac and him being tired from all the sex they were having
>after that starts working at a restaurant, owner of the establishment makes a move on her, they start a passionate affair, sometimes they don't leave the bed for days
>on the day of the murder she chokes the guy to death during sex, cuts off his dick and balls, wraps them in newspaper to use them later, goes shopping
>when asked why she had severed the man's genitalia, Abe replied, "I wanted to take the part of him that brought back to me the most vivid memories."

No. 651401

>>651353
>>651357
Chick had a dick dildo lol
>Ooo, look at me, I'm too ~eDgY~ for a regular vibrator

No. 651403

>>651253
I didn't know about the whole Dickens part, poor family lmao

also he wrote the Snow Queen after getting rejected by Jenny Lind and The Little Mermaid after a guy dumped him for a girl so basically his fairytales were his fanfics

No. 651407

File: 1602277951945.jpg (118.39 KB, 375x487, Albert_II_of_Austria.jpg)

It's amazing that the guy who painted this wasn't executed. He gave the king enough chins to fill a Chinese phonebook.

No. 651509

>>651351
Just to add, there's a famous or infamous film about the situation. Nowadays Chris Hansen would be drunkenly interviewing one of her Chaturbate patrons.

No. 651649

>>651357
>>651353
>>651509
Based and yangirepilled.

No. 651779

File: 1602306737391.jpeg (57.18 KB, 640x480, images (54).jpeg)

If they still alive, they use twitter a lot.

No. 651798

>>650734
>saint tittle
please my lungs anon why I feel like a punching bag

anyway this thread weirdly comforts me. Its not us losing our minds, mankind has always had plenty of cows. from the present it's easy to overlook

No. 651801

>>651509
>Nowadays Chris Hansen would be drunkenly interviewing one of her Chaturbate patrons
kek, true dat
What I found funny about the movie is that the director sought her out before making it and of all places, he managed to locate her in a nunnery in Kansai

No. 651810

>>651798
Original poster here. It just a typo lol cause of my phone.

Same, I agree with u Anon

No. 651828

>>650677
>literally describes kidnapping/gang rape he committed in his memoirs but claims the victim was willing
>buys a 12 year old sex slave
>not only molests but also pimps out a nine year old girl who may have been his daughter to another gross old scrote
>"my guiding principle has been never to direct my attack against novices or those whose prejudices were likely to prove an obstacle"
>all of his conquests were vulnerable women and children
fuck this guy, warms my heart to know he died alone and miserable

No. 651834

File: 1602312735280.jpg (32.2 KB, 528x360, freud.jpg)

i hate this bitch i really do

No. 651837

>>651834
And we're supposed to know who this literal-who is? Either post milk or gtfo

No. 651840

>>651837
NTA but bitch if you can’t recognize Freud just lmao

No. 651842

>>651834
>your father marries a younger woman
>you're attracted to her
>create an entire theory about kids wanting to fuck their parents because you wanted to fuck your step mom
>profit

No. 651846

>>650412
this looks like that gay perfume nazi

No. 651847

>>651834
you're not alone

No. 651850

>>651846
As he’s been so lovingly referred to, Estee Lardass

No. 651856

>>651850
this fucking sent me, lmaoo

No. 651882

Surprised no one has mention the Qurans mc yet. This guy was batshit insane. You can’t even publish fan art of him without being cancelled by his psychotic kinnies.

No. 651889

File: 1602324479345.jpeg (46.19 KB, 597x513, images (55).jpeg)


No. 651896

>>650435
Was she? I thought she got cheated on a lot of times

No. 651899

>>651882
>You can’t even publish fan art of him without being cancelled by his psychotic kinnies.
I'm deceased

No. 651907

>>651882
He has the worst stans istg.

No. 652049

>>651882
and when they kill people for publishing pictures of him people will jus say "well you shouldn't have pissed of the stans!" like congrats you kinda revealed that you think they are violent idiots who just can't help but kill people and so we should walk on eggshells around them good anti-racism work

No. 652103

this is my fav thread ever

No. 652108

File: 1602347740014.jpg (355.47 KB, 1024x1560, saint francis.jpg)

>came from a rich, well to do family
>was handsome, enjoyed living lavishly
>had a spiritual awakening, sold all his belongings and lived in a cave for a month
>his dad found him, beat him up, and locked him in a room
>his dad filed legal proceedings against him, Francis renounced his father and his patrimony, then stripped himself of his clothing in front of everyone
>wandered around Italy as a beggar and then founded the Franciscan Order

there's so much more too, like how he claimed to have stigmata

No. 652142

>>652049
Agree, but it's funny how it's placed on such a pedestal is gets a "race pass" kek. It's definitely a religion, nothing wrong with criticising objectively corrupt authority.

No. 652146

>>652142

Bosnians and Albanians say hi

No. 652153

File: 1602349989722.jpeg (29.51 KB, 300x300, 02E38C2E-F018-480E-8D98-56EB49…)

>>650010
Marilyn Monroe aka Norma Jean Baker , suffered from BPD and famously reinvented herself into a sex symbol, drug abuse, multiple tumultuous marriages, had an affair with JFK and his brother

No. 652162

>>652108
>become social withdrawal because of christ
>reject his father and status, strip naked as form of rejection.The Bishop cover him with his own cloak because common sense
>become a beggar because of Christ.
> beg for stone across the city to help the restoration of a Chruch
>Dude has a weird obsession for being poor man

No. 652210

>>652108
waifu material right there

No. 652225

>>652108
fight me

No. 652233

>>652225
The fuck I bet ur not even in his OF like me…..fake fan smh

No. 652272

>>652108
he also loved to preach to animals, especially birds lol

No. 652287

>>652233
uhhh i literally went to his house? bitch

No. 652602

>>651779
these clowns would be full blown mtgow and wonder why everyone openly hated on them since they know better than everyone because they're sO mUcH sMaRtEr ThAn yOu

No. 652655

>>652272
kinda cute ngl

No. 652754

>>652287
What t reehhebfucll…..my fikcnfg waifu ..soiled……I'm pqinickinf I think I'm havignn a panic attack….abuahsuahuahqu……fucking fak..e…hes nonlonger pure I'm going to cancel him as soon as I stop trying to gather pity points…

No. 652842

File: 1602435566967.jpg (215.8 KB, 800x1073, 800px-Isabel_da_Áustria_1867[1…)

>>650227
He's my fave US president, I'm always mad giggling whenever I read about his duels. The one who died after stuffing himself with cherries and milk was also hilarious.

>>650435
Don't forget her anachan tendencies.

Speaking of anachans, Sissi would also count, along with her insane beauty regime (cold showers, hours long walks, tightlacing, hair treatments with dozens of eggs and expensive brandy) and other eccentricies (she asked her husband for a lunatic asylum as a present). Her cousin, Ludwig, would also be a prime Bavarian lolcow nowadays, especially with his spending tons of taxapayers' money on useless tacky castles.

No. 652877

File: 1602438756411.jpeg (146.17 KB, 1200x1200, 83F9C84E-EEDF-4F27-B766-101671…)

>notoriously hard to work with, had a bad temper
>killed someone in a duel
>in and out of jail
>talked shit about everyone
>had sex with everyone, male or female

No. 652889

>>650207
>>650784
So we're not going to talk about the fact that he catapulted snakes into crowds of people? Just the crossdressing? I guess that is somewhat on brand for lolcow

No. 652892

File: 1602440735665.jpg (6.42 KB, 185x273, bette_davis.jpg)

I can't decide if she'd be a cow or a farmer kek

No. 652905

>>652892
She and Joan Crawford would post about each other in their respective threads and eventually get outed kek

No. 652906

>>652842
>she asked her husband for a lunatic asylum as a present
I love it

No. 652928

>>650395
Read the rules and delete this, anon, you're not allowed to post pictures of minors

No. 652951

>>652928
Nta but does that rule really count for minors that have been dead for decades

No. 653044

>>652951
I was trying to make a joke anon, I know.

No. 653169

>>651407
Considering artists usually flattered their subjects in paintings, think about how many more chins he probably had IRL.

>>652108
Bitch, stop talking shit about my husbando.

>>651403
No reason to feel bad for Dickens himself, he was a fucking dick indeed.
>be a male gold digger
>gets married to a daughter of a wealthy publisher to get a leg up in literary world
>gets her with ten kids and acts like it's her fault
>treats her horribly
>flirts with her sisters
>at 45 starts an affair with an 18 y/o actress
>wife discovers the truth, accuses him publicly
>portrays her as insane, tries to get her institutionalized, smears her at every turn
>separates with her, takes all the kids, save for one who decided to stay with mother
>disowns said kid
>barely pays wife any money
>treats other kids like shit
Nowadays he would be #metoo'd hard. He was really trying hard to compensate in those books.

No. 653195

>>650677
Is this danisnotonfire

No. 653200

File: 1602468833513.png (745.62 KB, 543x564, jskdshgdkj.PNG)

>>653195
anon…

No. 653206

>>653200
I fucking had to

No. 653394

File: 1602491780582.gif (239.63 KB, 599x490, 1498245630503.gif)

>>651828
Nothing makes me angrier than when people call someone "Casanova" as a compliment, or when trashy websites write retarded articles like, "Ten Dating Tips from Casanova" or "Ackchually Casanova was a Feminist." I legitimately wish I would go back in time so I could cut his dick off and sodomize him with a cactus. The only thing I hate more than pedophiles are pedophiles who get glorified by the public.

No. 653465

File: 1602507122096.jpg (46.88 KB, 479x581, Princess_Palatine_Elisabeth_Ch…)

Posting her, not because she was a cow, but because she was based as hell. If this woman was alive today she would totally post here. She's the second wife of Louis XIV's openly flamboyantly gay brother Philippe, so she was surrounded with cows at Versailles. She wrote thousands of letters were she spilled the milk about the crazy shit going on at court. Her work ended up being fantastic historical documentation. She was ugly and butch, but everyone liked her because she had a sense of humor about it and gave zero fucks. She was one of the few people back then who realized that the absurd behavior of French nobles needed to be documented. Rest in power, Liselotte-sama.

No. 653493

>>653465
She looks like Patton Oswalt, but I'd still hang

No. 653762

>>653044
lmfaooo I'm so sorry, I guess I can't read tone on the internet

No. 653942

>>653195
nearly weed a little laughing thanks

No. 657869

>>650568
>>650627
Lovecraft was horribly racist even for his time period, the man had a panic attack when he learned he was quarter welsh

No. 657925

File: 1602952844393.jpg (1.65 MB, 2038x3000, 00-story-frida-kahlo-v-and-a.j…)

Frida Khalo is your average sjw commie.
>Had a fake-boi phase
>Had exotic spider monkey pets she could not properly take care of because of her declining health
>Appropriates indigenous Mexican culture despite being mostly white German
>Constantly lied about her date of birth because she wanted the year to be the same as when the Mexican Revolution began
>Marries an ogre, though her husband is the creepy one because she was 21 years younger than his ugly ass fuck
>Slept with a fuck ton of men & women that it has it's own Wikipedia page list
>Her old butt fucking ugly fat husband is also a major cow who was okay with her fucking any other woman, but not men
>Her husband had an affair with Frida's younger sister
>As revenge she had an affair with Leon Trotsky
>Was a communist ally & often painted communist symbolism in her art
>Self muse, same stiff pose, same facial expression in all her portraits
>Created her own brand by having a unibrow & stache
>She only became iconic after her death, roughly decades later
>Her image gets capitalized present day by big chain companies, something she was wholeheartedly against not really milk, but kinda sad funny

No. 658054

>>657925
Kek, I remember when Phoebe Tickner bitched about her and said she was problematic. I love her work but she seems like she would be insufferable irl.

No. 658111

>>657925
lmao was thinking about how she should be posted especially for the indigenous 1/16 cherokee princess larp

No. 658124

>>657925
Holy shit you're right, I knew she was well off but I assumed she was mestizo but she was from a very prominent family in Mexico and was basically white, which makes her being featured among so many WOC artists list so surprising to me

No. 658149

File: 1602972789634.jpg (310.19 KB, 1080x638, Screenshot_20201017-171201.jpg)

>>657925
Huh. She's never looked indigenous to me anyway

No. 658153

>>657925
she’s a definition narc

No. 658284

>>653465
so glad to see other farmers appreciating based /ourgirl/ Liselotte around here

No. 658533

>>650435
Omg she's so gorgeous, why did you have to post her face? I see no problems with what she did now.

No. 666518

File: 1604487186666.jpg (11.96 KB, 220x282, unnamed.jpg)

Can we not forget that this going off profiting Telsa's works

No. 666528

>>666518
Tesla was a cow himself too though.
He loved a white pigeon "like a woman", and didn't like human women. Fuckin' furry

No. 666530

>>666528
He wouldn't even talk to women who wore pearl jewelry, he had to do everything in multiples of 3, like walking around a building 3 times before entering or cutting his bread in 9 slices.

No. 666553

>>666528
Please say he didn't fuck the bird

No. 666555

>>666553
I cannot imagine the pigeon surviving that, at most he nutted on the pigeon. But he was most probably just a platonic furry.
He was a self-proclaimed volcel

No. 666579

>>650422
>Henry the VIII would be the Onision if lolcow existed in those times
He even wrote shitty music and was incredibly competitive with Francis I of France. Before they met he’d accost visitors to his court who’d met Francis to ask them which of them was taller. When they wrestled at the Field of the Cloth of Gold, Francis beat his ass.

The first time he met Anne of Cleves (wife #4) while she was fresh off the boat and on her way to London, he was in disguise. Depending on the account he either flirted with her or pretty much sexually assaulted her. She did what any young woman would do when some random, obese, stinking manchild literally twice her age tries to force himself on her and rejected him, which hurt his delicate ego enough that he later demanded a divorce because she was supposedly too ugly for him.

He’s one of my favourite historical cows.

No. 666958

File: 1604531541836.jpg (238.58 KB, 706x728, AKG258392.jpg)

>WHEN WILL YOU BE DONE WITH MY COMMISSION!
>I HAVE A LOT HAPPENING RIGHT NOW, FUCK OFF!

No. 667158

File: 1604566330601.jpg (15.06 KB, 320x240, chris3.jpg)

This is more of a /lit/ thing but, how much of a lolcow would Chris McCandless be?
>be well off kid with daddy issues
>have identity crisis so bad you start larping as a transcendalist
>push away friends and family for being a pretentious douche
>sell all your shit and decide to go on a cross country adventure to live out your larp
>every person you meet admits your the definition sheltered
>finally make it to the great wilderness of alaska
>die in bus because your ego made you think you were a master huntsmen
>guy who does your biography dedicates a chapter to creaming himself over how retarded you both are

No. 667976

>>667158
god, the movie about his misadventures in the wild made me seethe. How can you fuck your life that bad while having literally everything?

No. 667989

File: 1604663081634.jpg (9.9 KB, 176x230, margery-kempe-2.jpg)

I can't believe nobody brought up Margery Kempe. This medieval bitch was crazy.

> Author of first known autobiography in the English language

> Declared herself a born-again virgin after bearing 14 children, telling her husband they can't fuck anymore because Jesus is her true husbando
> Somehow still bears another child during her and her husband's celibacy
> Tried two different at home businesses, when they failed she went on pilgrimage as a self declared mystic
> Would frequently cry and scream and wail in public because she loved God so much and pretended to have visions of Jesus. Her autobiography describes these sessions like they were normal or even admirable behaviour
> Got arrested on account of heresy multiple times: women can't be preachers and married women can't pretend to be nuns. Her persecutors were demons of course
> Declares childbirth to be demonic torture. Declares her son to be a lazy good-for-nothing failure. Declares the first scribe of her autobiography to be a failure with inelligible handwriting who made things impossible for the second scribe. Circumstantial evidence points to the son being her first scribe.

In 2020 this woman would, after 2 failed MLM endeavours, try her damn hardest to make her teenage daughter internet famous and leech off her. The name's already close enough.

No. 667995

>>667976
By being super sheltered and stupid.

My man didn't even bring a map or a decent field guide and the great irony of the situation is that many spoiled hipster tourists tried to make a pilgrimage to his death bus and died in the process just like him.

Wish they didn't remove the bus, it was good that those idiots removed themselves from the gene pool.

No. 668003

>>667158
It's like St Francis but worse

No. 668023

>>667995
The thing that bothers me the most is that the last person who saw him alive literally offered to give him the correct equipment and the dumbass still didn't take it. All this story really communicates to me is that middle-class guys in their early twenties are fucking idiots, which isn't exactly groundbreaking news.

No. 668030

>>667989
I stan the first trashy queen

No. 668048

File: 1604670679748.gif (393.37 KB, 250x150, download.gif)

>>668023
Wish more of them had the exact combination of ignorance and hubris this guy did. Can't stand bored middle-class "adventurer" types and I sincerely hope they continue to die off.

No. 668079

>>668048
I hated that the dumbass movie still sort of glorified this idiot, even though it was unable to hide his stupidity. I cannot imagine why someone would to follow into his footsteps. He absolutely didn't know shit! Like fine, go escape from society, but at least don't make an idiot out of yourself and prepare like a sane human being! If you want to kill yourself, save the time and just jump from a bridge ffs.

No. 668135

>>667989
> Declares childbirth to be demonic torture. Declares her son to be a lazy good-for-nothing failure.
based medieval bitch

No. 668349

>>667158
Cases similar to his won't be the first or last. Any retarded scrote who tries to live out some fantasy while being under prepared are just doomed

Can this also include scrots who move to whatever big city just because they thought they were too good for their hometown/wherever they had shelter and become homeless and die from starvation/coldness/sickness?

No. 669863

File: 1604911456354.jpg (104.71 KB, 1200x803, ugly.jpg)

>>669857
John Lennon. Wifebeater. Deadbeat dad. Hypocrite.
Had a ton of simps pulling their hair out over him despite looking like this.

No. 670029

>>668349
Don't shit on my boi Vagrant Holiday like that

No. 670052

>>669863
George and Paul wrote better Beatles songs anyway. Also John's son Julian had more respect and affection for Paul than he did for his own father, which tells you basically everything you need to know. Even when John was making bank, he didn't pay child support to Julian's mom. He physically abused both of his wives and their children, but was considerably crueller to Cynthia and Julian. John then screwed Julian over in his will.
I think most people under the age of forty are aware of and acknowledge Lennon's shittyness. It's like the second thing that gets brought up in most conversations about the Beatles.

No. 672281

>>667989
I'm pretty sure she was just tired of fucking her probably shitty husband and shitting fuckton of kids, so she chose the first available loophole at the time and went with "Jesus is my husbando nao". The rest can be ascribed to plain attentionwhorism and early pinkpill.

No. 672891

>>667158
Iirc, his sister came out with a book a few years ago that stated that their dad was very physically abusive during their childhood. Something that even the author of Into the Wild backed up and said that she told him that while he was writing his book but asked not to publish it because she was still trying to work on her relationship with her parents. Guess that went nowhere. That made me feel somewhat bad for him but he was still an arrogant dumbass and anyone who idolizes him is an idiot.

No. 673458

Mao Zedong, like a guy with daddy issues and pedo who killed over 40 million people for the sake of communism.

No. 673563

>>667158
>>667976
>>668048
>>668079
>>668048
What I don't understand he take any type of survivalist course beforehand, they can last from a couple weeks to a month or two but they teach all the necessary skills one would need for most areas. my bf was a sheltered citykid but he went though a couple of courses hosted by ex-army guys and when we went camping it felt like being with someone who had lived in the Jungle his whole life, other then that he had some specific survivalist books that he kept on hand just in case

I mean if he and other bored middle class guys want to leave society and live in the woods that's fine by me but why don't they seemingly ever do the least bit or actual training

No. 673607

>>672281
Agreed, her story just makes me sad. She likely went through postpartum psychosis after her first child and then she was forced to do it another THIRTEEN times. I would've gone fucking insane too. I wish one of her businesses had worked out.

No. 673960

File: 1605363878586.jpg (82.13 KB, 587x407, Beau_Fielding.jpg)

Robert "Beau" Fielding. Member of Parliament turned Gambling, duelling, gold-digging, bigamist

>Former MP and well-known womanizer

>Revolution, flees to France with King James II
>Returns to England and is imprisoned in Newgate, secures pardon following year and is released
>Now aged 50, he thinks it wise to duel with young barrister, who draws first and injures him
>Attention seeker, is known to show his injuries to women hoping to arouse their compassion, which failed
>Swift records "he was run into his breast, which he opened, and shewed to the ladies, that he might move their love and pity; but they all fell a-laughing"
>Somehow manages to marry wealthy Mary Swift, who has a considerable estate in Yorkshire, which he then squanders. She dies shortly after.
>Courts Duchess of Cleveland, former mistress of Charles II; at the same time pursues Anne Deleau, an heiress with a fortune of £60,000, which he discovered by studying her late husband's will
>Bombards Anne with love letters which her servants intercept
>Aware of his reputation and questioning his motives for proposing, her servants hide the letters
>Fielding, now desperate, bribes Deleau's hairdresser, Charlotte Villars, with £500 to arrange marriage to Anne
>Mrs. Villars disguises one of her own friends, a poor woman named Mary Wadsworth, as the widow
>Believing her to be Deleau, Fielding marries Wadsworth on 9 November 1705
>Fielding's pursuit of the Duchess of Cleveland continues, he enters into a bigamous union with her on 25 November 1705
>News of the double marriage emerges in May 1706 and Fielding also discovers he had married Wadsworth rather than Deleau
>He arrives at Waddon, beats Wadsworth, and warns Deleau's hairdresser Charlotte Villars, not to reveal the marriage
>Marriage to the Duchess increasingly unhappy, as she long stopped indulging his expenses
>"so barbarously ill-treated her, that she was obliged to have recourse to a magistrate for protection against his outrages"
>Has a sexual relationship with the Duchess' granddaughter, Charlotte Calvert, impregnates her
>The case goes to the Old Bailey, where Fielding is prosecuted and found guilty of bigamy
>Marriage between Fielding and the Duchess is annulled, but he claims benefit of clergy, escaping the sentence for bigamy
>He escapes the lesser sentence of being burnt at the hand by producing a warrant from Queen Anne, which ordered the suspension of all sentences against him.
>After the annulment, he reconciles with Mary Wadsworth
>Duchess of Cleveland dies of dropsy three years later
>Fielding, living with Mary, dies of Fever six years later

No. 674182

File: 1605388970037.png (1.1 MB, 1022x1387, Capture _2020-11-14-16-22-23.p…)

>>650310
Edie Sedgwick was the proto-influencer. Large following despite not really being famous, incapable of producing original content, born into money, and appears in some shitty low-budget art film no one wants to watch. The messy scandal like setting a hotel on fire by smoking in bed. Bad eyebrows.

No. 674186

>>674182
Didn’t she od, I forget. The dark twiggy.

No. 674189

>>674182
Andy Warhol would be her Titanic Sinclair, but even more annoying

No. 674203

File: 1605391809869.jpg (199.32 KB, 1014x1200, Charles I.jpg)

Although I shouldn't speak ill of the monarch, Charles I was a bit of a lolcow

>enforced ship money in places that were nowhere near the sea because he wanted the money

>shut down parliament for like a decade
>brings it back just so he can beg them for money
>Married a catholic
>Inb4 catholicfags start screeching at me

No. 674277

>>674203
protestants get rek'd

No. 674298

>>674203
Why the fuck you shouldn't? It isn't like they can just come into your house an

No. 674508

>>674182
Her family had a history of mental illness and she was molested by her dad. She was used and fucked over by both Warhol and Dylan. Add being an anachan and schizo culture of the 60s to the mix. I would be more surprised if she lived past 30.

Definitely bad eyebrows, tho.

No. 675354

>>667158
Thank you! I saw the movie months ago and was in facepalm mode all along. I feel less alone cause critic AND spectator reviews in my country were full of fart huffers snobs saying stuff like ~Wow! So inspiring!Jack Kerouak 2.0! What a hero!~

And I was like : Yeah, nope. Unless you wanna take his story as an inspiration on what Not to do when you're alone in the wild nature.

I live in the French Alps and you can't imagine how many hipster tourists larping as adventurers does the same kind of stuff of put the rescuers in danger to save their stupid ass every year.

Anyway, I don't have much to contribute since my baguette English is quite shitty but you anons are funny and interesting af and I hope that thread will go on.

No. 680058

I feel most of old philosophers are lolcow. What are you favorite anon?

No. 680089

File: 1606164378576.jpg (80.07 KB, 960x519, tAamAiU.jpg)

>>680058
If Diogenes were alive today, he'd have the craziest online presence.

No. 680108

>>680089
Ngl, he is one of my favourite figures of history. The cup story is hilarious.

No. 680174

File: 1606171860935.jpg (39.91 KB, 460x620, richard-wagner-1351529175-view…)

This guy right here
>9th child in the family, father died when he was 6 months old and his mother remarries his father's friend who was an actor/playwright. Go through life thinking he is his actual dad.
>get into theatre/music growing up thanks to his dad who isn't actually his dad
>first big break at an opera house in Germany, write an opera for it.
>during rehearsals, fall madly in love with the leading lady. Opera gets one performance, then the theatre goes bankrupt. Marries this soprano who leaves him within a year
>goes off to Latvia in a huff, and to start a new job. His wife eventually rejoins him and they run up massive debts. They flee to escape their creditos
>Spends time living in London+Paris, barely scraping a living while dreaming about how he's going to write the most super special type of operas ever created
>A friendly, successful composer called Meyerbeer thinks that your operas are pretty good and uses his influence to arrange for a performance back in Germany, in Dresden.
>Goes back to Germany to take up a job in Dresden, does quite well
>falls in with some socialists and anarchists cause he thinks they're cool, start writing some articles in support of them
>gets swept up in the attempted uprising, make some grenades and do some lookout duty (too scared to do any any actual fighting)
>uprising gets put down, so to escape arrest he runs off to Switzerland and starts couchsurfing with his wife in tow
>pesters his friends in Germany with letters asking for money and trying to get his operas performed. One of them is Franz Liszt - important to remember for later - who does organise the premiere of one of the operas.
>Meanwhile, some kind women give him neetbux so he can write his super special operas without having to work another job
>begin an affair with one of the women and plans to elope with her because his wife is depressed at how shit she thinks his super special operas are and being dragged around Europe
>in between super special opera writing, finds time to write some essays on what exactly makes his super special operas super special
>also writes an essay reeeeeeeing that his super special operas aren't getting performed because degenerate Jewish composers - like kind Mister Meyerbeer earlier - are corrupting the ears and hearts of Germans. Later on, some family friends suggest that Wagner's actual father might have been a Jewish friend of the family, so Wagner might actually be partly Jewish himself.
>writes an German mythology fanfic, then decides it's so good that he's going to write three prequel fanfics to develop an expanded universe
>declares that these will be so super special that they aren't operas but rather his own art form "Gesamtkunstwerk" (OC donut steel)
>meanwhile, one of his other paypigs gives him a cottage on his estate and pays all his living expenses. This paypig's wife is a poet
>Wagner starts an affair with her
>his wife finds out, and he ends up leaving to Venice. This is basically the end of their relationship.
>Finally allowed back into Germany, returns and settles down
>alongside his Germany mythology operas, he writes one which is 4 hours of edging in musical form. It's so super special that it's impossible to perform.
>Luckily, a mentally disturbed gay scrote called Ludwig becomes king of Bavaria and is a massive Wagner simp, to the point he commissions a massive castle be built inspired by his favourite Wagner operas
>Wagner realises that he can make a lot of money by being a thirst trap for said simp, and while he probably wasn't gay, he did enjoy dressing in pink satin underwear so might have been into it a bit.
>Ludwig pays off Wagner's debts and spares no expense staging his super special operas
>Eventually his 4 hours of musical edging gets performed, conducted by a guy called Hans von Bulow. He is married to Liszt's (illegitimate) daughter, Cosima.
>During rehearsals, Wagner had started an affair with Cosima who was 24 years younger than him. She gives birth to Wagner's child.
>This causes massive scandal, and he is eventually forced to leave once again. Cosima comes with him. Simp king buys them a nice Swiss villa.
>Convinces a young Nietzsche to simp for him, Nietzsche writes a whole book about how Wagner's super special operas are the best things written since the Greeks
>Wagner's wife dies, he does not attend her funeral
>Cosima is still married to Von Bulow, he does not grant her a divorce until she's had two more children with Wagner. The two children are named after characters in Wagner's fanfics
>republishes his reeeeings on Jewish music
>decides that regular opera houses aren't sufficient for his super special operas, so starts a gofundme to build the most perfect building in the world
>paypigs flock to finance it but twink king refuses
>project is about to collapse and twink king finally consents
>finally his german mythology expanded universe fanfic gets performed and is admittedly a big success
>Wagner starts getting more reactionary and writes another fanfic about an order of grail knights who are redeemed by a himbo, after their orginal leader gets syphilis from a sexy jewess. He declares that it is only allowed to be performed in his special opera house. A few "illegal" performances happened in following years, and the Wagner estate banned anybody who took part from appearing in the super special theatre.
>The premiere is to be conducted by a Jewish friend of Wagner's. Lots of screeching German nationalists write to Wagner reeeeing that a Jew should not be allowed to have such an honour. Wagner agrees, and says that he should be baptised first, before simp king steps in and tells him to stop being ridiculous.
>one final affair for old time's sake with a woman 32 years younger than him
>die in Venice at age 69, apocryphally after an argument with Cosima over another affair he might have been having

And that's really just the biographical parts. The amount of second-hand shit he caused is even more extensive, from Hitler being a big Wagner simp - and Cosima becoming a massive Hitler simp - through to music critics spending several decades slinging shit at each other over whether or not his music was actually any good.

No. 680206

File: 1606174459410.jpeg (203.83 KB, 749x969, B1B59B45-8E7A-461F-96D9-B1353A…)

>>680174
He was such a cow.

I love reading his letters to Liszt, in which Liszt frequently doesn’t reply so Wagner keeps sending more begging for a response.

No. 680241

>>680089
Always loved him

No. 680949

>>680174
>while he probably wasn't gay, he did enjoy dressing in pink satin underwear so might have been into it a bit.
wasn't pink a manly color back then (because it was vibrant, and blue was associated with Virgin Mary) and Hitler flipped it back around for some reason to blue for boys, pink for girls (and homosexuals)?

No. 706420

File: 1609483227692.png (53.78 KB, 949x473, thatsureisaparty.PNG)

>>650071
Reading about a banquet thrown for Nero (the biggest cow). It's the one where he gay married as a "bride," but the other details are entertaining

No. 706423

File: 1609483512982.png (59.32 KB, 672x300, whatthefuck.PNG)

>>706420
samefag, I was hoping for details on this part (from wikipedia) that led me down this rabbit hole. I feel bad for laughing if they really were attacked, plus nero was awful, but holy shit best cow

No. 706504

File: 1609508123381.jpg (122.34 KB, 960x640, joycenoraletters.jpg)

Every time I hear or read that James Joyce is one of the most important writers of the 20th century I immediately think of those dirty letters that he wrote to his wife and it cracks me up

No. 706508

>>680949
>>680174
Historically pink was more of a masculine color in Anglo circles because many military unforms were red and pink was just pale red back then.
Colors weren't gendered the way they are today until the 1930s when the concept was pushed as a way to get people to spend more money on baby items.

No. 706519

>>706504
i hate you so much for making me read this, holy shit. i’m writing an essay on him right now for uni and i was already struggling… this has made it infinitely worse. however it IS funny as fuck, so god bless

No. 706520

File: 1609510874126.jpeg (499.92 KB, 828x527, 1BB48669-837C-4BE4-B844-2D2D39…)

>>706504
samefag but what the FUCK? these cannot be real, i swear. i wish you’d never posted this so i would never have looked these letters up

>no use continuing! you can guess why!

No. 706527

>>706504
>>706520
These are hilarious and I need MORE

Bless this thread

No. 707444


No. 707453

File: 1609649836669.jpg (28.16 KB, 816x565, EW_NfPWXYAAFU6e.jpg)


No. 707472

>>706504
>your shameless tongue burst from your lips
good to know the ahegao has been going strong for over a century

No. 707489

>>706504
>>706520
I have the image of Joyce jacking it to brapp porn in my head now. Thanks guys

No. 707510

>>706504
As much as these are amusing, if you've read any Joyce then it's not that surprising: Joyce was a massive degenerate coomer. Ulysses - apart from the central plot point being about cucking - has sissification sections, plenty of scat references, an extended voyeur chapter, and then plenty more besides.
Had Joyce been alive in the age of internet porn, I suspect he wouldn't have bothered writing because all he would have had the means to indulge all his fetishes.

No. 707523

File: 1609670953274.jpeg (90.31 KB, 750x329, 01ADF1AC-AF01-4E19-B3BD-6AC15B…)

>>680949
I think the “satin” part is more of the issue and the detail of it being pink is only seen as weird through a modern lens as >>706508 wrote. It’s claimed he wore satin due to a skin condition but afaik it was considered feminine. There are also very detailed letters he sent to dressmakers asking for women’s clothes. His wife wrote her diary every day yet never mentioned receiving the clothes.

It’s possible he bought them for a lover, but he was broke, such clothes were expensive and he was incredibly self-centred. Personally I think he was a crossdresser (not gay or trans) and his wife might have known but not recorded it for obvious reasons.

Article:
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2007/mar/01/germany.classicalmusic

No. 707554

>>706520
>>706504
These remind me of Mozart and his scat fetish. How come so many artists are so fucked in the head?

No. 707584

File: 1609684231210.jpg (310.5 KB, 831x1008, Ayn_Rand_(1943_Talbot_portrait…)

Can we call her the queen of "not like the other girls pick me" bitch? Besides being massive hypocrite…

No. 707586

>>707584
A piece of shit through and through.

No. 707587

>>707554
In Mozart's case, it was more "poopoo funny" than "poopoo sexy."
I guess it's something about the creative world which attracts oddities: people are more willing to overlook abnormal behaviour if it's tied to abnormal production.

No. 709733


No. 783210

File: 1618365339249.jpg (137.33 KB, 492x500, ALMADA~1.JPG)

(Tuga posting)

Fernando Pessoa

>fake DID to get clout for his poems

>once wrote a fake letter pretending to be his alter calling himself smart
>makes whole fanfiction about his 30 billion alters
>astrology thot that makes astral charts of his own alters
>responsible for coca cola's advertising campaign in Portugal, accidentally gets it illegalised by making a slogan that made it sound even more like a drug and triggering the country's dictator
>probably dies from being an alcoholic
>you have 50% chance of being forced to read fanfic about him in portuguese school

No. 783249

>>709733
Didn't see this until now, but… she was extremely pro capitalism and promoted individualism focused on pure self interest ("objectivism"), idealizing elites as visionary geniuses over the workers that actually keep their businesses running. CEOs and rich people in general fucking adore her, which should tell you enough in itself. She dismissed a scene of her character getting raped with "she wanted it tho" and then fucked one of her proteges in real life and freaked out when he cheated on her with a younger woman. But hey, he was just focusing on self interest per her instruction, right? She also smoked like crazy and got lung cancer, had to have surgery to save her life, and when her followers said hey maybe you should tell all the people copying you that it isn't safe, she didn't want to admit she was wrong (despite supposedly idolizing ~logic~ and ~facts~) so she didn't say shit. Basically, a giant fucking hypocrite who also managed to push America even further down the path of destructive, soul-sucking capitalism in the process of being an asshole in her personal life.

No. 783253

>>783249
She also had almost an Incel-esque nerd logic with regards to men she found attractive, she believed that good looking men should be with her as she had "superior" intellect then other floozy women

No. 784054

>>670052
>>669863

If the internet was around when he was alive, he'd so be a troll in comment sections. He was such a fucking edgelord.

>George and Paul wrote better Beatles songs anyway.

Funny thing kind of related this. He got all pissed off when George was making more friends with musicians than him after the Beatles broke up because he thought George wasn't as good of a musician as him. I guess he was too egotistical to realize that others would rather be around someone humble, too.

>Had a ton of simps pulling their hair out over him despite looking like this./I think most people under the age of forty are aware of and acknowledge Lennon's shittyness. It's like the second thing that gets brought up in most conversations about the Beatles.

Boomers/old music media/old Beatles historians see him as the fucking second coming of Christ. Younger Beatles fans seem to get it that the others were done dirty by the music media and historians, especially George and get it that even they're flawed. I always thought those historians were hypocrites for going on for about always bitter and serious George was (which he wasn't), when John was such a vitriolic person.

No. 811773

File: 1621542627974.jpeg (77.66 KB, 807x454, 1_dozv8xfu8nqg0-5o8fta2q.jpeg)

Nathan Leopold and Richard Loeb are some of the most underrated and overlooked cows in true crime history.

>Both were born into wealthy families. Also both were in gifted courses as boys, so you know they grew up smelling their own farts.

>Met at the University of Chicago were they jack each off in insufferableness and get really into everyone's favorite edgelord writer Nietzsche.
>Not only take the concept of Nietzsche's "Ubermenschen" a bit too literally but thinks it applies to both of them because they were both told they were special too many times growing up.
>Start to think they are above everyone else and because of this and could do anything without consequences. This starts a crime spree which includes stealing and arson.
>Then both of them want to commit the "perfect crime" of murder, thinking they would get away with it.
>Which leads them to kidnap Bobby Franks, a 14 year old boy who was the 2nd cousin of Loeb.
>They kill him
>Body is found and police start investigating. Leopold literally tells the police that he were to kill anyone, it would've been Bobby Franks (lmao)
>Police quickly figure out that the duo killed Franks. And this was 1924, long before DNA testing, so you know they did a really bad job at covering their tracks. Leopold was dumb enough to leave his super expensive glasses at the scene of the crime.
>As soon as the heat is on each other, the two sell each other out and downplay their own actual involvement.
>Both get sentenced to life in prison. Loeb ends up dying in prison at 30 after being attacked by another inmate. Leopold meanwhile starts a sob story of writing a book in order to get parole. It ends up working in 1958. Fucks off to Puerto Rico and dies there in 1971
>Might of been gay lovers
>That fucking unibrow on Leopold.

If lolcow existed during the 1920s, you just know anons would mock their pretentiousness. But then the tread would inevitably get shitted up by WKs and hybristophfags. Similarly, they would be extremely milky if they existed today. I imagine that the dumb shit they would post on social media would end up in r/iamverysmart quite often.

No. 811788

>>811773
these midwit moids are the worst, I seriously believe, all evil in this world is due to this demographic

No. 811792

>>811773
I consider anyone who didn't get away with crimes and murder pre-DNA testing to be the most retarded people on the planet. These fuckers were big dumb.

No. 811831

>>811773
I'm glad you brought this thread back, I love these stories (not the murder part, but hearing how these idiots were introduced to reality)

No. 817861

File: 1622177074499.jpg (229.1 KB, 1280x843, 1280px-thumbnail.jpg)

>>811831
Thanks! I'm sad these threads aren't more popular. I love analyzing historical people and how they would fit into modern lolcow internet culture.

Another great example is Phyllis Schlafly aka the original tradthot. She preached about traditionalism and how women should primarily be housewives and babymakers despite the fact that she had a law degree and quite an extensive work history outside of being a wife and mother.

No. 817872

>>817861
>She preached about traditionalism and how women should primarily be housewives and babymakers despite the fact that she had a law degree and quite an extensive work history outside of being a wife and mother.

These kind of women confuse me, are they just that addicted to male validation? Do they just hate other women that much? Both?

No. 817877

File: 1622180130328.jpg (355.83 KB, 1329x2000, 4p6w-KX042VBohk_GjOdDg.jpg)

michel foucault

No. 817878

File: 1622180194129.jpg (793.95 KB, 2048x1496, 002_jean-paul-sartre-et-simone…)


No. 817891

>>817877
This guy raped kids in Tunisia

My personal protocol is that every single philosophy scrote with a fixation on philosophizing about sex gets immediately preemptively labelled as a lolcow (and possible child rapist)
Being French is also immediately suspicious

No. 817897

>>817872
It's not a kind of woman, it's a very common kind of person - an opportunist.

No. 817940

>>817878
>>817891
Jesus, what the fuck is up with France and pedophilia? I know most countries have their hang-ups with pedophilia too but it seems really bad over there.

No. 817958

File: 1622192860527.jpg (200.64 KB, 900x750, lautrec.jpg)

the embodiment of (disowned) daddy's frat boys

No. 817961

>>817877
Foucault believed that AIDS was a conspiracy theory invented by the government to stop gay men from having sex. He eventually died from AIDS.

>Foucault spent many evenings in the San Francisco gay scene, frequenting sado-masochistic bathhouses, engaging in unprotected sex. He praised sado-masochistic activity in interviews with the gay press, describing it as "the real creation of new possibilities of pleasure, which people had no idea about previously." Foucault contracted HIV and eventually developed AIDS. Little was known of the virus at the time; the first cases had only been identified in 1980. Foucault initially referred to AIDS as a "dreamed-up disease".

No. 817966

File: 1622193517378.jpg (41.74 KB, 474x650, picasso.jpg)

I'm surprised that Pablo Picasso hasn't been posted yet

No. 817967

>>817966
was just about to post him anon

No. 817981

File: 1622195193819.jpg (95.02 KB, 474x711, vg.jpg)

>couldn't financially sustain himself
>was infuriated with his cousin
>had stds
>'You clearly do not know what a young woman is like, God damn it! A woman must have hips, buttocks, a pelvis in which she can carry a baby!'
>had abandonment issues
>literally a schizo

No. 817986

>>817872
anon read right-wing women by dworkin, I’m not a terf but it’ll answer your question

No. 818007

File: 1622198988683.jpg (59.1 KB, 1170x727, pvu7bnibf8t61.jpg)

>>650612

>extremely paranoid

Had he'd been an internet user I feel like people would fuck with him like this

No. 818039

>>817981
>would probably open commissions if he were a present-day 'struggling' artist and have private account where he spergs about the furry porn he has to draw

No. 818065

I mentioned that in another thread once, but in regard to Matzneff, and a French anon said that at the 70s and 80s those types of thoughts were "trendy" so that period was a pedo's dream
Fortunately it seems nowadays you can't get away with it so openly as back then, and at least some months ago there was an actual uproar about it


>>>/ot/743674

No. 818105

same anon from >>818065
I'm a retard and I just noticed I accidentally forgot to tag the anon I was answering too
I was talking about >>817940

No. 818330

>>650923
i love this thread sm

No. 829653

File: 1623633275644.jpg (16.46 KB, 234x294, tinytim.jpg)

surprised nobody mentioned him

>already elderly parents basically lived in a hole in the wall apartment in nyc with no doors

>was a NEET who refused to get a job and sung on street corners for cash
>has a one sided relationship with a dude that basically destroys his life and view of love
>eventually joins the freakshow and is billed as the "human canary"
>becomes friends with bob dylan and becomes obsessed with him
>goes on laugh in where he becomes famous and gets humiliated but is happy that people recognize him
>marries a teenage girl he just met a month before on the johnny carson show, he was 37
>while recording his album, would refuse to use the bathrooms in the studio and would walk 10 blocks to his parents apartment and then return hours later
>was obsessed with christianity despite being jewish, eventually converted and refused to have intercourse with any woman he wasnt married to (but still fucked groupies despite being busted)
>teenage wife divorces him after miscarriage despite him trying to blackmail her with religion
>plays to charles manson and the manson family while he's in california
>gets new manager, who is part of the mafia and eventually all his money disappears
>popularity wanes, becomes obsessed with releasing whatever music genre is popular
>eventually broke enough that he retires to performing with the circus
>marries a young "model" who cheats on him with donald trump
>becomes a guest on howard stern, and talks about wearing diapers and his obsession with cleaning and beauty products
>marries a woman who was his fan since she was a child after she tracks him down living at a motel
>said woman now schizoposts about jesus and israel now on facebook
>dies on stage because he refused to stop performing despite everyone telling him to

this is just the tip of the iceberg

No. 829658

File: 1623633675438.jpg (21.28 KB, 420x669, ETmH1eFXkAE6-xe.jpg)

>>669863
you posted post-wall lennon, he was better looking in his heyday. but he (and yoko) were complete lolcows who surrounded themselves with other grifters in the 70s

No. 829671

>>829653
is it bad i think he's adorable? autist, undoubtedly, but adorable

No. 829715

>>829653
oh gosh this almost sounds like some sort of vintage Chris-chan lite

No. 829726

>>829671
not really, but he's the opposite of lennon (who i doubleposted below) where the more I read about him the more I'm intrigued. lennon was just bpd mommy issues narc lite, tiny tim was like turbo autist on speed
>>829715
chris chan vibes def, though chris is more a henry darger type since tiny was remarkably socially adjusted despite the tism

No. 829735

File: 1623641666824.jpg (97.8 KB, 495x329, tumblr_lziqtyPmNo1rpho37o1_500…)

>>817981
I don't think he'd be a lolcow, honestly. I feel bad for the fucker, he grew up in a time when mental health was treated with being thrown into an asylum. He was diagnosed with epilepsy, although he may have had that and syphilis at the same time. He also got scurvy from giving peasants and miners most of his food. Poor guy.

No. 829917

File: 1623669453583.jpg (88.05 KB, 555x400, goddamnit_karl.jpg)

Karl Marx
>complete nerd about dialectics
>read fanfic made by a scrote larping as a native American and used it as a large basis for his theory
>massive plagiarizer
>wrote an entire book just seething about a person he knew irl
>stans name themselves after him
>deadbeat dad
>would probably fall down the alt right pipeline nowadays
>unironically had a freemason phase

No. 829918

>>829917
> stans name themselves after him
wdym? doesn't stan come from eminem?

No. 829920

>>829918
Think she means Marxists

No. 829923

>>829920
Yes, thank you. Sorry for not being clearer.

No. 829925

>>651407
Big Ed's ancestor

No. 829928

>>829917
>scrote larping as a native American
who?

No. 829930

>>829928
Lewis H Morgan

No. 829933

File: 1623672280379.jpeg (491.79 KB, 1130x1695, Mobutu.jpeg)

>born Joseph-Désiré Mobutu, renames himself Mobutu Sese Seko Kuku Ngbendu Wa Za Banga, which translates to "The all-powerful warrior who, because of his endurance and inflexible will to win, goes from conquest to conquest, leaving fire in his wake."
> helps overthrow popular anti-colonial leader in a coup and establishes himself as dictator of the country
>changes the name of the country to Zaire bc muh authenticité (same reason he changed his name)
>becomes stereotypical image of corrupt African tinpot dictator–nepotism and kleptocracy abound
>larps as rEaL AfRiCaN wHiTe MaN bAd while being a Western anti-communist puppet leader
>brought George Forman and Muhammed Ali to box for him–bread and circuses

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mobutu_Sese_Seko
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Authenticit%C3%A9_(Zaire)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Rumble_in_the_Jungle
>picrel

No. 842234

>>829933
That side cap fucking slaps tho, he should have started selling it as his own merch.

Funny how so many leaders and dictators were so recognizable for their headwear btw.

No. 842237

>>829933
Lol I thought this was James Earl Jones in Coming to America for a hot second. Maybe that's who his character is based off of?

No. 842304


No. 844200

>>842234
when you consider that it's made out of actual leopard it "slaps" a little less

No. 844781

File: 1625307520254.jpg (386.61 KB, 800x1236, 800px-François_Clouet_-_Mary,_…)

Was going to put Ayn Rand but someone beat me to it.

Kind of surprised Mary Stuart hasn't been mentioned yet. She might not warrant a whole thread herself but her situation probably would.

>grew up in France, married to a French prince, after he dies she moves to Scotland

>marries Lord Darnley, an alcoholic who is probably going mad from syphilis
>Darnley kills Mary's close friend/advisor Rizzio at a dinner party in front of a pregnant Mary
>Mary has Darnley's child, who later becomes King James (yes, that King James)
>Darnley is murdered mysteriously
>Mary remarries to Lord Bothwell immediately
>it is speculated that Mary and Bothwell conspired Darnley's murder
>Bothwell escapes to Scandinavia and Mary gets imprisoned

edited and reposted because I put events in the wrong order lol

No. 844818

>>844781
Mary QoS is IMO one of the most interesting historical figures but I wouldn’t call her a cow. Darnley was a total cow, though. Practically everyone who knew him for more than five minutes thought he was a huge douche. There’s a theory he killed Rizzio in front of her (by stabbing him >50 times like an unhinged scrote) to get her to miscarry and force her to make him her successor to the crown if she died childless. He later flat out denied he had anything to do with the murder despite there being a lot of eyewitnesses. I don’t know if she was involved in his murder (by explosion!) but I wouldn’t blame her if she was.
Their son James VI/I was a cow too.

No. 891757

>>651206
Where did you take this milk from? Is it from some personal diaries and letters?

No. 891771

sometimes i feel sorry for nietzsche, the german cockroach, constantly rejected by the woman he desired and cursed to orbit her forever

No. 891772

This thread sucks ass and I hate you all.(/ot/ rule #7)

No. 891789

Can't believe I got banned for saying this lmfao. Why are you so fragile?(ban evasion)

No. 894763

File: 1630253133091.jpg (26.71 KB, 400x400, Cromwell_Holding_Bisexual_flag…)

This massive autistic tard cunt
He colonized Ireland. He literally slaughtered hundreds of thousands and destroyed the Irish culture and Language because they weren't being Christ right, burned down images of The Virgin Mary abolished the Monarchy but made himself Lord Protector who had even more authority then the king also he banned Christmas, Dancing, Theater, Alcohol and Sports
also created the "Soldiers bible" for his men which was just quotes from the Old Testament talking about killing people and violence
would probably convert to Islam and join ISIS if he was alive today

No. 894826

>>894763
Irish anon here, fucking SNATCH THAT BITCH

No. 894834

>>894826
could you believe that he was celebrated for a while in the Americas, as a "based protestant land owner who fought against Monarchic tyranny" when he was a religious fanatic and quasi warlord who ruled Britain under military dictatorships

No. 894837

File: 1630259718272.png (360.9 KB, 512x512, nfa.png)

>>894763
>he banned Christmas, Dancing, Theater, Alcohol and Sports

No. 894916

>>894763
who the fuck drew this lmao

No. 894921

>>894916
mary2drawz obviously

No. 894925

>>829933
So many dictators were/are cows, if they weren't mass murderers they'd be hilarious

>Mao Zedong never brushed his teeth because "tigers don't brush their fangs, why should I?" so his gums got infected and oozed pus

>Adolf Hitler injecting himself with bull semen to boost his libido
>Papa Doc going on a nation wide black dog killing spree because he believed that his would-be uspurer turned into a black dog to escape capture
>The entire fucking Kim family

I wish I lived in the alternate reality where these people never achieved power and were only able to post about themselves online

No. 894936

>>894925
The whole Kim family are massive cows. Kim himself, according to Yeonmi Park, is gone on a mad one because he thinks his close staff are trying to get him

No. 895054

File: 1630276449570.jpg (213.93 KB, 400x532, tumblr_mtnd0eBQys1qcu0j0o1_400…)


No. 895066

>>829917
Marx wrote several books because of irl grudges. Stirner is one example, but there's also this:

>>In 1846, Marx wrote a letter to Proudhon, inviting him to be his Paris correspondent and warning him of the "parasite" Karl Grün. Proudhon, however, was on good terms with Grün and told Marx that there would be no cooperation between them unless he helped Grün with the German translation of Proudhon’s "The Philosophy of Poverty". Marx responded by writing "The Poverty of Philosophy", a book about how Proudhon doesn’t know shit about Ricardo and Hegel.

No. 895751

>>894763
> Cromwell_Holding_Bisexual_flag
why though, guy didn't seem to have any bisexual or any sexual feelings, he would probably consider all sexual acts as immoral crimes against God

No. 895759

>>895751
Because Internet

No. 895770

File: 1630357054735.jpg (18.01 KB, 474x368, Mackenzie_King.jpg)

maybe, just maybe

No. 895778

File: 1630357472911.jpg (11.74 KB, 220x334, Frederica_of_Hanover.jpg)


No. 895780

File: 1630357639435.jpg (9.35 KB, 201x251, Wilhelm_II.jpg)

last but not least
I would definitely hit it to be honest

No. 895781

>>895778
Spoonfeed me
(Pls don't ban mods, there's nothing about her in the catalog)

No. 895783

>>895781
And while you're at it, do it for all the other cows you posted.
What's the milk? There's no insta profiles so that I can check for myself. You think we're here to read history books? Spoonfeed drama

No. 895785

File: 1630358174248.jpeg (121.32 KB, 728x679, 37366038-5C7C-4D9A-A5A6-1C9BAB…)

She’s not dead but I am convinced Camilla Parker would be a-logging about Diana and be posted in the skinwalker thread.

No. 895816

Imagine Lewis Caroll being outed as a pedo in his actual lifetime.

No. 895906

>>895816
The excuses made for him and other victorian/historic pedos like him always makes my blood boil.

No. 896863

>>894763
and my sister has a crush on him lol

No. 898006

>>895816
Lmao. I remember my mom taking me to a Lewis Carrol exhibit at some museum when I was 10 or 11. I was excited because I thought it was gonna be artwork based on Alice and Wonderland and I liked the Disney version growing up. Instead, there were a bunch of pictures of half naked little girls. Confused, I asked my mom about it and her response was “Oh he might of been a pedo btw.”

Weird experience. Still like Alice and Wonderland though, although Carroll can get fucked however. Sage for blogposting.

No. 898816

File: 1630609456568.jpeg (72.3 KB, 800x600, 946F708C-5ECC-4530-90D7-D64F2D…)

They’re not all dead yet but could imagine the craziness if lolcow and social media were around during the Manson family days? I feel like in the beginning, they would have a strong but niche following with farmers mostly talking about their hygiene, crappy music, drug use, and 30 something Charlie constantly having sex with underaged girls. But as soon as the murders start happening, the whole thing would blow up and everybody and their mom would be aware of them, much like how the recent Chris Chan incest saga made him visible to normies.

No. 898826

File: 1630610021745.jpg (7.63 KB, 221x228, 1628993414462.jpg)

>>896863
>and my sister has a crush on him lol
wait what!! can you tell me why your sister says she has a crush on him
I'm super curious

No. 898888

>>898816
I could imagine a lot of infighting between whites and other minorities and white anons and scrotes making threads on how blacks are disgusting subhumans without getting threadbanned because it’s the groovy 60’s baby!

No. 898909

>>811773
What is up with people and Nietzsche? I don’t get the obsession.

No. 898927

>>898909
If I had to guess, he was like Sonic the Hedgehog of the 19th century. Just one big giant autism magnet.

No. 898974

>>898826
She's a history student and it's a running joke. She thinks people get Cromwell wrong and we all tease her about how much she's in love with him

No. 898985

File: 1630627757059.png (194.45 KB, 423x560, Bildschirmfoto 2014-05-25 um 1…)

>>898927
Eh, he was pretty freaking hilarious, a great writer, and not nearly as right-wing as people make him out to be. Downside is him being a giant woman-hating nerd who died of syphilis.

Most of his bad rep comes from his sister who was a literal Nazi and edited his work after his death. He basically told Richard Wagner to fuck off due to his anti-Semitism so I don't think Hitler and him would have vibed all that well.

I recommend reading "On the Use & Abuse of History for Life" (short essay).

No. 898986

File: 1630627945780.png (50.4 KB, 488x223, Nietzsche German Spirit.png)

>>898985
samefag. example of Nietzsche telling Nazis to go fuck themselves.

No. 899001

File: 1630629556221.png (266.35 KB, 500x720, 567.png)

Heidegger was a much bigger German lolcow than Nietzsche. Also turned Hannah Arendt into a lolcow by association. And all the French philosophers are lolcows for their Heidegger obsession among other things.

No. 899113

File: 1630643906388.jpg (1.06 MB, 1986x3000, ccc.jpg)

>>898974
I mean while his awfulness gets exaggerated, he did do some good for England
he tried England more fairer and equal for all Christians, temporally banned the slave trade in the New World and created one of the most advanced and effectives Armies in the entire world at the time

No. 913550

>>898985
Interesting. Didn’t really know that about him. I wasn’t trying to imply that he was a cow or anything but rather his work attracted cows.

No. 913559

File: 1631771038727.jpg (585.69 KB, 617x912, Akiko_Yosano_posing_by_window.…)

Yosano Akiko is a weird one, she was an incredibly influential and popular early 20th Century Japanese feminist and pacifist, very scandalous for her time, mostly cause of her love poems and Novels featuring active female protagonists seeking out male partners and sex(which was a big taboo in Japanese society), she publicly denounced the Japanese government for the mistreatment of Koreans and wars with Russia and China
now you might be thinking that so far she seems like a decent person, well her cow behavior for which she's famous for manifested in the 1930's, no one knows what it was exactly but she embraced Japanese Ultra Nationalism and embraced the philosophy of Bushido. but here's the thing she still held firmly held feminist beliefs and actually combined them with Japanese Ultra Nationalism
In her idealized world the man serves as a soldier who dies for his nation and his emperor, any man who didn't wanna die in war was a sissy and should kill themselves, while women should hold the Homefront and take care of the economy

>In her poem "Citizens of Japan, A Morning Song" published in June 1932, Yosano embraced Bushido as she praised a Japanese soldier for dying for the Emperor at the First Battle of Shanghai as she described how the soldier "scatters" his body when he is blown apart as a "human bomb".[15] Yosano called the "scattered" body of the soldier "purer than a flower, giving life to a samurai's honor".[15] Unlike the Kimi, Yosano called for Japanese women to "unify in loyalty" for the "cause of the Emperor's forces". The American scholar Steven Robson noted that unlike the Kimi, which like the rest of Yosano's early poetry was extremely innovative, Citizens of Japan is cliche-ridden as Yosano used well-known phrases like "a samurai's honor" taken straight from the ultra-nationalist press without developing a vocabulary of her own.[27] Yosano ended her poem by praising Bushido, declaring that the "purest" act a Japanese man could perform was to die for the Emperor in battle and urged the Kwantung Army forward onward in the conquest of Manchuria "through suffering a hundredfold" to "smash the sissified dreams of compromise".[28]


her own son died in the war and she praised him and called him a martyr

No. 913567

>>913559
>any man who didn't wanna die in war was a sissy and should kill themselves
Absolutely based.

No. 913573

>>913559
She sounds fucking cool. I want to be her best friend.

No. 913575

>>913573
Also I had a cat named Akiko once; this reinforces my admiration for that name.

No. 913581

>>913573
I mean she was cool in her Early life, but trying to mix Feminism with Bushido and nationalism is fucking stupid, and supporting Japanese Imperialism is even worse

No. 913675

>>913559
Aside from the extreme nationalism (especially considering that this was the 30s and Japan…) she sounds pretty based tbh.

No. 913714

>>898985
Found the Nietzsche fangirl!

No. 913832

File: 1631809897978.jpg (76.28 KB, 900x600, ragnar-redbeard-might-is-right…)

>>913714
nta, I think Nietzsche was a fucking delusional loser but his philosophy and belief were consistent and solely his own, I dislike people misinterpreting and adding beliefs upon him that he publicly denounced, such as anti-Semitism and ethnic nationalism
The philosophy that a lot of people think Nietzsche espoused is actually more found in the sole work of Arthur Desmond also knows as RAGNAR REDBEARD

No. 913871

>>913832
Most philosophers are fake and gay, old rich dudes with too much time on their hands trying to convince everyone to read their run on depression diary. My pet rabbit has more knowledge about the meaning of life.

No. 913898

>>913885
Freud was a psychologist and most actual European philosophy is far superego to shit we have nowadays or even in other regions of the world, would you really choose the sayings of a dead Arab Pedophile(something I grew up with sadly), an autist from China who believed the father should have the power of life and death over his entire family or the hymms of Hindus that deem you unpure subhuman and are obsssed with aspects of sex and their own genitalia
European philosophy is why you have anything close to right's for women in the western world
I have read both Nietzsche and Muhammad and I'd pick Nietzsche over the great Arab Pedophile any day

No. 914240

>>913559
how on earth did she go from being against Japanese imperialism against Koreans to extreme ultra-nationalism? how did she manage to find feminist ideals in the entire issue of Korean women being forced into becoming 'comfort women' for Japanese soldiers? that's insane

No. 914364

File: 1631844124736.jpg (61.04 KB, 486x466, SusanSontag1979.jpg)

susan sontag

>Sontag received angry criticism for her remarks in The New Yorker (September 24, 2001) about the immediate aftermath of 9/11. In her commentary, she referred to the attacks as a "monstrous dose of reality" and criticized U.S. public officials and media commentators for trying to convince the American public that "everything is O.K." Specifically, she opposed the idea that the perpetrators were "cowards," a comment George W. Bush made among other remarks on September 11. Rather, she argued the country should see the terrorists' actions not as "a 'cowardly' attack on 'civilization' or 'liberty' or 'humanity' or 'the free world' but an attack on the world's self-proclaimed superpower, undertaken as a consequence of specific American alliances and actions."

No. 914377

>>914364
Idk, she sounds right.

No. 914394

>>914240
I mean there were plenty of early 20th Century white feminists who didn't give a shit about non-white women, also it was the 1930's in Japan, during this period the Military had taken over the country and there was a wave of nationalist propaganda

No. 914528

>>914364
The only cow in this story is the USA.

No. 914582


No. 914598

>>914364
Queen shit

No. 914700

>>914364
>>914377
>>914528
>>914582
>>914598
Hold on, she also claimed
White civilization was all pure cancer
>If America is the culmination of Western white civilization, as everyone from the Left to the Right declares, then there must be something terribly wrong with Western white civilization. This is a painful truth; few of us want to go that far…. The truth is that Mozart, Pascal, Boolean algebra, Shakespeare, parliamentary government, baroque churches, Newton, the emancipation of women, Kant, Marx, Balanchine ballets, et al, don't redeem what this particular civilization has wrought upon the world. The white race is the cancer of human history; it is the white race and it alone—its ideologies and inventions—which eradicates autonomous civilizations wherever it spreads, which has upset the ecological balance of the planet, which now threatens the very existence of life itself.[2]
So Yeah, she just seems like another pretentious liberal white women, who also plagiarized the works of other

>Ellen Lee accused Sontag of plagiarism when Lee discovered at least twelve passages in In America (1999) that were similar to, or copied from, passages in four other books about Helena Modjeska without attribution.[53][54] Sontag said about using the passages, "All of us who deal with real characters in history transcribe and adopt original sources in the original domain. I've used these sources and I've completely transformed them. There's a larger argument to be made that all of literature is a series of references and allusions."[55]

>In a 2007 letter to the editor of the Times Literary Supplement, John Lavagnino identified an unattributed citation from Roland Barthes' 1970 essay "S/Z" in Sontag's 2004 speech "At the Same Time: The Novelist and Moral Reasoning," delivered as the Nadine Gordimer Lecture in March 2004.[56] Further research led Lavagnino to identify several passages which appeared to have been taken without attribution from an essay on hypertext fiction by Laura Miller, originally published in the New York Times Book Review six years earlier.[57] Writing for the Observer, Michael Calderone interviewed Sontag's publisher about the allegations, who argued, “This was a speech, not a formal essay,” and that “Susan herself never prepared it for publication

No. 915606

>>914528
Yeah let’s just ignore the Islamist extremists….

No. 918732

>>898888
Lmao there would be a lot of racebaiting and racesperging in the hypothetical Manson family lolcow threads given the nature of Helter Skelter.

No. 935428

File: 1633909572797.jpg (20.81 KB, 232x324, Sayyid_Qutb.jpg)

May I Introduce you all to Sayyid Qutb, the father of modern salafi jihadism, see any two bit mullah could rile up an uneducated peasant into blowing himself up but Qutb created a comprehensive and revamped version of jihadism made for the inteligencia and upper class society
he was also a racist, misogynistic, hypothetical incel

>Qutb never married, in part because of his steadfast religious convictions. While the urban Egyptian society he lived in was becoming more Westernized, Qutb believed the Quran taught women that 'Men are the managers of women's affairs …'[37] Qutb lamented to his readers that he was never able to find a woman of sufficient "moral purity and discretion" and had to reconcile himself to bachelorhood.[38]


>Qutb noted with disapproval the openly displayed sexuality of American women:

>the American girl is well acquainted with her body's seductive capacity. She knows it lies in the face, and in expressive eyes, and thirsty lips. She knows seductiveness lies in the round breasts, the full buttocks, and in the shapely thighs, sleek legs – and she shows all this and does not hide it, These curvy jezebels then pursue boys with wide, strapping chests and ox muscles

>He also commented on the American taste in arts:

>The American is primitive in his artistic taste, both in what he enjoys as art and in his own artistic works. "Jazz" music is his music of choice. This is that music that the Negroes invented to satisfy their primitive inclinations, as well as their desire to be noisy on the one hand and to excite bestial tendencies on the other. The American's intoxication in "jazz" music does not reach its full completion until the music is accompanied by singing that is just as coarse and obnoxious as the music itself. Meanwhile, the noise of the instruments and the voices mounts, and it rings in the ears to an unbearable degree… The agitation of the multitude increases, and the voices of approval mount, and their palms ring out in vehement, continuous applause that all but deafens the ears

he may seem ridiculous(and he is) but his writings have had a massive impact upon the muslim world and has radicalized many upper class muslims who would use then use there wealth to fund and support jihadism, the most famous example of one of the men he inspired was Osama bin Laden and he also laid the groundwork of how a modern Islamic state was to be implemented which ISIS used as a guide in their short lived thiefdom

No. 935429

>>935428
oh no history sperg is back with their custom wikipedia page, god I love you

No. 935443

File: 1633911948664.jpeg (2.61 MB, 1370x1874, Christian_VII_1772_by_Roslin.j…)

Christian VII of Denmark, mentally ill king who was known for being addicted to masturbating among other things

No. 935471

File: 1633913965147.jpg (17.87 KB, 768x432, rafael-trujillo.jpg)

do I really need to elaborate on why a southern american dictator who went after little girls would be a cow

No. 935527

File: 1633918815802.png (9.61 KB, 578x193, polcel on lolcow.png)

>>650612
>Superior people respect the superior animal.
Based.
I can imagine him running a forum about literature that would get infested with /pol/cels, and then raging out and banning all of them because some idiot tried using catlady as an insult kek.
He honestly probably wouldn't get along with /pol/ types like picrel because of their creepy cat hatred (they're mad because they think women are getting cats instead of saving muh white race).

No. 941565

>>935471
I feel like most dictators are total cows.

No. 941837

>>935443
>addicted to masturbating among other things
So like every man?

No. 941842

>>935527
>Based.
this is why you catfags are insufferable

No. 942010

>>941565
all of them. you must have a total cow personality to be a dictator.

No. 942999

>>674182
Why am I getting Grimes vibes from her?



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