/ot/ - off-topic

Unironically hatred. I battled depression for years then my "friends" suddenly ditched me and actively tried to break me even more. When I learned about what they were doing my stubborn ass said "well fuck you, my purpose will be to get better so you don't get what you want.
6 years later and still thriving kek.

>>677922
based, rage and hatred are my life force too, kek

>>677922
same, my mom and ap teacher agreed that i wouldnt amount to anything and on top of my moms constant physical and mental abuse i just fucking snapped and worked towards running away and getting the fuck out. it worked and now im thousands of miles away healing

>>677922
I've been doing this method for a bit but it just made my heart physically hurt. Maybe bitterness would be 2nd best?

Meeting someone who I thought loved me. It turned out he was a terrible person who didn't really have a real or healthy concept of love before we met, but there were still aspects of him that I admired and appreciated. He gave me a positive outlook on the world I'd never considered before. In being abused by him, I slowly ended up developing self esteem where I had none before. I realized I had a lot of damaging beliefs and started to think I deserved better because even from my messed up perspective, his opinions of me were so outrageously terrible. Through that, I was finally able to utilize mental health resources (self help books and psychiatrist) where I couldn't benefit before. Now I've left him and my heart is broken, but I don't feel numb and lifeless like I did before. Mostly a mixture of intense pain, anger, relief and resolve. Was it worth it? Still too raw to tell.

I've heard shrooms are pretty great for resetting one's perspective too. I think I could've achieved a similar outlook if I'd put in the effort to make good friends. I'd rather have gone either of those routes, though obviously none of the other experiences were intentional.

>>677917
I started practicing demonolatry a few years ago and it turned my life around.

I want to add a disclaimer by saying I despise all of the witchy aesthetic girls on tik tok. They clearly have no clue what they’re doing and just think it’s cool.

Basically I work with a specific demon, I keep an alter to him in my house, and I meditate to him, leave offerings daily, and draw his sigil.

I know this sounds totally insane but there was a direct correlation between my life turning around and getting involved in demon-worship lmao. If I want something and meditate/pray on it to him it works out 99% of the time, even if it’s something totally unrealistic

>>678298
Did you make it up? Is their material i can read about it?
I'm interested and willing to try anything at this point.

>>678298
is he hot

>>678298
How did you study this? I think witchcraft is really cool and wanna get more into it, even if I don't end up actually practicing it. I'm not tryna sell my soul to a demon, but I'm still curious.

What happens if you stop giving him offerings and worship? What does he do for you in return?

non-believers don't make fun of me

>>678298
Anon if you're trolling I still appreciate you deeply

>>677979
stoicism only made me more depressed tbh, everyone around me is a piece of shit and I can't feel an ounce of gratitude to humanity in general.

>>678300
No, there’s lots of material. If you research goetic demons online you can find plenty of resources. I’ll link a few here.

You can work with different demons depending on what your specific goals/interests are. Some demons are very eager to work with people, while some are more selective. I work with mammon and Lucifer primarily. Mammon is notoriously difficult so I wouldn’t necessarily recommend him for someone just starting out with demons. Lucifer is good for beginners and while I haven’t personally worked with Bune Or Baal both are strongly recommended.

This website has an archive of resources on goetic demons http://demonolatry.org/library-archives/

>>678304
Most of my goals have been financial and related to gaining energy, motivation, and beauty. I leave sigils and meditate for advice. I have had more financial success than I previously thought was possible since I started working with demons.

It’s fairly different from traditional Wicca/witchcraft because the whole philosophy behind working with goetic demons is different.

>>678304
Depends on the demon. Some will punish you, some will just stop helping you.

I would recommend researching heavily before getting involved with any particular demon to understand their temperament. Mammon (the demon I primarily work with) is strongly associated with financial success but he’s not one you would want to break commitments with.

I leave offerings for him every night, and I have for the past 2 years or so.

>>678298
I have q's anon pls:
Do you have to sell/alter your soul to work with demons? I watched some vids and apparently the stuff in demon texts makes you lose your mind and soul. (Not being edgy, I don't want to become a vindictive person because I got some power)

Do you have to do stuff like moon water? (I find that stuff really embarrassing and silly tbh).

>>678318
Did you do the sigils with preferred metals on the preferred days and all that?

>>678319
No: I don't use moon water. Almost all of that tiktok witch stuff is BS. It's just girls who think it's cool and edgy to mess around with witchcraft and try it as an aesthetic. Also, moon water et al is wiccan/witchcraft which is very different from demonolatry. Witches worship the earth, not demons.

You do not have to sell your soul. That's an outdated reading on Christian mythology. You just develop a relationship with a powerful entity, in exchange for an output of energy.

>>678318
No, I practice something closer to Modern Demonolatry, but I do use sigils in my practice. this pdf https://secureservercdn.net/198.71.233.106/1pd.579.myftpupload.com/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/ModernDemonolatry.pdf outlines everything pretty well, but it's very long.

I do practice some of the rituals that are outlined in the pdf, In my experience meditation, connection, energy, and intention are the most important things when developing a relationship with a demon.

>>678389
Why demons instead of whatever the angel equivalent of this would be? I figure this is a stupid question, but if there's demon worship there must be angel worship.

one of the things that made me not dead inside anymore is having actual goals that you're looking forward to do. Save enough money for that one phone or jewelry, saving enough money for a trip. Urban exploration, or moving in general can help reignite something. Also the whole philosophy of absurdism forced to put me into perspective of it all. Being dead inside is usually a phase people usually go through, and it takes a bit of time to gain a sense of life back. It usually comes along with the feeling of lack of autonomy, lack of goals, and lack of motivation- so you need to gain both of those back.
also as a skeptic I am very weirded out about the witchy stuff going on in this thread but whatever makes you happy anons

>>678397

Ok, so, what is a demon?
The literal meaning of demon is 'replete with wisdom' and it comes from the greek term daimon which means 'divine power'.

Demons have been around since pre-Christian times. For instance, Lucifer was the pagan sun god, but his image was perverted by the Christian religion. (at least that is what I personally believe)

Demons are just ancient gods, devils are the actual malevolent spirits. Since I don't believe in traditional Christian Mythology I personally don't believe in angels.

There absolutely are people who worship angels as deities, and archangel Michael is a common one, that just doesn't line up with what people who are involved in Demonolatry believe to exist.

>>678389
How does hell look like?how do demons age?how do they die?can you trust them?
Apologies for overwhelming you with questions

>>678442
Demons present themselves the way they want to be seen. So the way I see a demon is not the way you would see the same demon. There tend to be similarities, eg most people I've spoken to say that Lucifer, in particular, is very handsome.

I don't believe in hell, and I'm fairly certain that demons do not age or die. They're eternal beings full of wisdom, knowledge, and power.

Also: If you are genuinely curious about this subject please don't get advice from girls on tik tok with black hair and heavy makeup wearing ridiculous pentagram jewelry. I personally don't share the fact that I practice demonolatry with anyone besides my significant other, and even he doesn't know the full extent of it. The kind of people wearing 'I worship DEMONSSSSSZZZZ' on their sleeve for cool points are probably not the people you want advice from.


(also Lucifer and Satan are separate demons, but that's a whole different discussion.)

>>678491
Sorry I know I should read your resources and I will but I'm curious about a specific question. When you say you see the demons and they present themselves, is it a mental image you receive? Or have you had a demon physically reveal itself in your presence?

>>678298
>I want to add a disclaimer by saying I despise all of the witchy aesthetic girls on tik tok. They clearly have no clue what they’re doing and just think it’s cool
anon… no need to be gatekeeping here. To sceptics it's all the same anyway

>>678545
I get that. I just don't like when people choose to follow something for aesthetic reasons, don't research it, and then spread misinformation.

After years of different medications and some months with several therapists they said they didn’t know how to help me, recommended I ask my psychiatrist about more unconventional stuff like ketamine. Has anyone tried it? From brief googling it seems like the mood effect is similar to shrooms ‘cept it’s long been legal for medical use. But then some things I’ve read suggest you have to keep doing it over and over to keep from slipping back and I’m not really into that.

>>678408

Why don’t you just call them gods then? “Demon” in english has a lot more baggage and usually seems to be pretty synonymous with “devil.” I’d think you’d get people a lot less weirded out by saying you worship old pagan gods than saying you worship demons. Plus if you’re free-wheeling (tailoring?) your beliefs on a personal level it doesn’t seem like it’d matter too much whether you use the same terminology as other people who do similar stuff.

>>681226
I mean anon has made it pretty clear she’s not out here proselytizing on behalf of a mission trying to convert you. If people are too freaked out by the basic concepts of the practice to try it then they’re the ones potentially missing out, not her.

>>681220
I have been trying it as did someone I know. It didn't work for them. for me, I think it played a role. The key effect i ascribe to it is helping me think from different points of view. That's my theory at least. The relief gave me hope that I am capable of less anxiety/depression, while obviously shouldn't seek it in drugs and part of that is the "high" feeling, it still gave me hope. When you're doing it, it feels different every time in terms of your thoughts and feelings. a lot of times I thought about philosophy which sometimes went good or bad. But there was this one time I felt true self-love. I could think of every past mistake I hated and instead feel overwhelming love and compassion. I guess I should explain it like this: for me at least, those different ways of thinking affirmed my belief that our minds are very subjective. Yes I was high but even in terms of religion, whatever you believe is your reality. Along with Cognitive Behavioral Therapy teaching me that my constant negative thoughts were not based in reality, I think that caused a breakthrough. I want to attain more productive thinking in a normal, sober state. And even though I was high that time, I felt more compassion for myself afterwards. I also found new perspectives on many other things.
Like I said, though, the other person had no help from it. Also, I'm not addicted but I notice I look forward to doing it very much. So please keep in mind it could be dangerous that way. For me I don't think so but it is in my mind as something to avoid. Also I'm paranoid about it affecting my physical health (no issues but still) but if it truly helped me as I said then I guess it's worth something.
Lastly (this got long sorry) about losing the effect, I was off it for a while (too tired to recall how long but months, after an incident where I was sick and had too much in me) and I didn't have any huge relapse. Things were just lagging. I went back only when I learned what truly went wrong and my friend said he thought it had helped me be more cheerful. I got back on and since then much better. You have to stay put while you do it and keep calm, content. You mold the experience. I think that since I have new beliefs and openness to help, that relapse is not so big a worry. I'm collecting the tools in therapy and life while I'm ahead, to support me going forward. I hope this helps. Whatever path you end up on anon, I really hope you can find relief, and I doubt there is only 1 answer but boy we know they can take a long time to show

>>681236
I'm the same adding: Ugh it may sound like I lost the effect but it's more like it most kicked in the second time. I think next time I stop I will retain the things I have attained now. What it needs to be in conjunction with is other gains in therapy, in goals and life, like I'm learning ways to cope and to do things and gonna go back to school. It seems to me like a kickstart for things like that, without those maybe that's why it fades? as another anon said, goals and motivation are what helped her. for me ketamine was my push to acquiring those and they should stick around I think cause I never had them before

>>681226
Because the practice I follow is literally called demonolatry, and the rituals/beliefs I follow would all fall under the demonolatry umbrella, not the pagan umbrella.

While Lucifer is a Pagan God, some of the other demons are not Pagan Gods so it would be generally misleading to call it that. For instance Mammon, the demon I primarily work with is not a pagan god.

No one besides my boyfriend even knows I work with demons (and I've lived with him for 2 years so it would be impossible to hide) so I don't really care about 'weirding people out' people don't know about it.

>>681229
yeah the goal of this was not to convert lolcow. If anything it's nice to talk about because I don't feel comfortable sharing it with my co-workers or family.

>>681226
I see an image when I meditate, but I have not had a demon physically present themselves to me outside of meditation. There are people who say they have, I'm just not one of them.

>>681244
were you ever afraid of demons in the past (aka seeing them from a Christian-type perspective) and if so, how did you overcome that? what changed your view of them not being bringers of certain doom?
thx for answering us. I'm not sure what to think but am intrigued. the catholic guilt will probably keep me away kek

>>681244
kind of expanding on what >>681251 is asking, did you feel any concern or fear about receiving negative consequences when you first started your practice?

>>681303
Yes, the concept definitely freaked me out at first. I grew up in a Christian household and had a lot of fears and misconceptions around it.

I didn't start off doing rituals and working with specific demons or drawing sigils every night. I started getting involved with some more mainstream occultism, and I saw positive changes in my life. So I dove deeper into occultism and found demonolatry, and the more I practiced it and developed a connection with certain demons the more dramatically my life improved.

>>681350
interesting, thanks for sharing anon. Any books or resources you'd recommend to learn more? I'm very curious about what you've been talking about.

>>681375
She already linked upthread >>678313 and >>678389 (unless there are others that would be worth mentioning too, but quite a lot in the first one)

>>681350
What’s the kind of stuff you have to sacrifice every night? Is it really ever dead animals or anything?

>>681350
Is there a way to safely stop worshipping and making sacrifices to these demons? You mentioned that a demon could punish you if you were to stop, and that the one you work with is hot-headed. What if you only started making sacrifices to reach one specific goal?

I hope this doesn't sound snarky (this is also a genuine question), but do you think it's worth it to do this everyday for the rest of your life? I honestly would get tired lol

>>681883
Twice. Twice now while scrolling past this I caught it as sacrificing stuffed animals. I either need to pay closer attention or have mild dyslexia.

>>681895
Please rekindle your relationship with Jesus before it’s too late. Those demons are not going to save you a throne to sit on while in hell when you (hopefully not) get there.

The devil/Satan/Lucifer is known to deceive its prey - us, and you’re falling for it.

Your “blessings” may be nice and abundant for now but there is always a price, and you may not keep your soul.

I am so sorry your relationship with God/Christ didn’t work out the first time but he still loves you no matter what! He will always love the sinner but not the sin. He will not punish you for your involvement with the occult but will welcome you back into his arms and forgive you just like he forgave us sinners who came back.

I will understand and respect your wishes to continue to do as you please but it’s never too late to come back to him, anon. Your soul is still yours/his so there is always a chance! Just please be careful with those things because as I said, those demons will ask for more than you can handle.


God bless.

>>681883
Nta but I tried to get into demonolatry once and some sources say there isn't even a need for a physical sacrifice. Some mention drawing sigils and putting something of yours on it (blood, saliva, hair, other liquids) or some items you value, doing something that would appease your specific god/demon (I recall it had to do with their element) and then burning or burying it. Of course though some books mention killing animals, or just doing something while thinking of them, as if you're offering what you're doing to them (can be eating, having sex, masturbating, meditating). The thing with demonolatry is that there aren't just one or two sources that explain everything, it's a lot of books and interpretations by various people.
And you shouldn't treat them as your servant, they won't do what you ask and then disappear. You have to be in a firm and strong mindset while approacing demonolatry.

>>682035
Anon… what the fuck

>>682035
ma'am this is a wendys

>>682103
>>682105
I mean the Jesus anon is no more right/wrong/cringe/whatever than the demonolatry OP. She just voiced her concerns in a respectful way.
>religion
It sucks that there is conflicting lore and nobody even knows for sure if anyone is actually right.

>>682127
but she (you) replied to the wrong post.

>>682135
I am not the Jesus anon, what shit are you on?
Also I replied to the exact posts I wanted to. IDK what's your problem.

>>682095
>>strong and firm mindset
So I guess being a depressed doormat wouldn't be a good starting point lol.

>>681350
Can I ask where you started off? I'm doing birth charts and meditation rn, it seems to be good so far.

Heard about spirit keeping which is like getting a spirit companion, but it seems like its a coin flip on whether the seller sends you what they promised.

>>681350
Is there some kind of list with all the witchy topics,from beginner friendly to advanced?

I guess I have a similar issue.
I feel like I just have no drive in life. I'm completely directionless.
I'm currently in uni for computer science, but I've been making pretty much no progress for years (my country and parents are pretty lax when it comes to that).
I guess I just always thought I'd find my drive when I fix all of my other issues, but I'm better than ever, and I'd still rather waste away my days watching and reading stupid shit. I know that it's all about consistency and that I can train myself to do hard stuff. What's hardest to me through is deciding what I want to do in the first place. Why do anything if it might not work out? Or maybe I'll discover that I should have done something else.
As I type this out it seems more like an insecurity issue. Maybe I just don't believe that I can make it, so I don't try?
Has anyone dealt with something similar? How did you figure out what you wanted your life to be?

Anons, I had a good laugh with your talk about demons and all. Don't get me wrong, you do you, whatever breaks the routine and makes you happy. As long as you don't actually hurt yourself, then who's gonna know?

My 2 cents: break the rules sometimes. Without getting caught, without doing something truly risky. Try and don't get addicted to anything, anons, better a life of boredom than a life of addiction.
I would personally second this >>677979

>>682127
You're right, but in our context it's more shocking than the demonolatry because it's a typical religious normie position and we're in an imageboard, an internet space known to be hostile towards and generally not populated by normies

>>682209
Editing this post to be more specific, also I didn’t read through yours completely

I do use sigils and spit and leave items of value, mammon likes gold and oud so I tend to focus on those things.

The masturbation/animal sacrifice isn’t part of my practice and not something I would personally reccomend

>>682544
Awesome. I'm happy for you.

>>682544
curious, were you on any medications at the time?

I’ve been on SSRIs since I was a teen, I’m 24 now and I’ve recently been feeling like… yeah, hey, haven’t killed myself so maybe they’re doing their job, but I feel so…. mentally clogged? Like they turned off a few switches in my brain creatively. And I don’t feel fulfilled without those switches on.

>>678298
Anon I just rubbed one thinking about mammon and Asmodeus and fucking demons in geral and I have the best orgasm I had in a while my pussy is still throbbing best seratonin rush in mouths thank you nonnie

>>681220
Came here to post this. Ketamine changed my life like nothing else. I would give it a go.

>>683228
this made me think of that otome game with those bishie demons called mammon and asmodeus but honestly idk if you talking about fuking actual demons is better

>>683342
i wonder if i should ask if it's possible for me to be prescribed ketamine.i haven't tried any anti-depressant drug in years but i dont seem to come around and it's been too fucking long and i keep failing in my life and not moving forward