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he's ok just sleepin
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i know no one cares but i recently had to upgrade my phone because my screen shattered and it would cost more just to fix it than to get a brand new phone. I ended up getting the iphone 11 because i really loved the lavender iphone its so pretty. Before i went to purchase it though i went online and saw the latest iphone was the 12 but the onlhy pretty color they had was the green one which is DUMB!. why release a phone in a pretty purple color and then when you make a brand new phone make that color available months later. Im hoping i still can trade this one in and get the 12 in purple. IM JUST SO MAD BECAUSE THEY SHOWED THIS TODAY AND I UPGRADED ON SATURDAY. I WANT TO SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM
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I’m on my 6th day of a water fast. I’ve been doing well and I’m proud of myself. This is supposed to be a reset, a turn of events for me. And yet I am so fucking terrified that nothing will change when I come out of this. I’m so scared I’m gonna continue to be a bulimic piece of shit with no self control. Why is it so much easier to be extreme than to be appropriate… I have all these plans for myself but the fear of failure is overwhelming. I still fantasize about binging. I guess it means I’ll have to keep going until I only think about healthy habits.
Also I hate men so fucking much for being fat like how much do you have to eat to get that way even with moid metabolism. Ugh.
you're doing great anon already, and even if the worst happens and you fail you will hae ascertained you are capable of being reasonable for a certain amount of time, which indicates you're capable of doing even better next time.
don't set crazy expectations and be kind to yourself !!
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My stupid fucking sex offender neighbor keeps yelling at his dogs and using powered equipment right outside my door and I have to work from home… I am so done lol
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>>787758>sex offender neighbor
um what in the actual fuck anon? why did you move in a neighborhood with a kiddy diddler
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Its going to be my birthday on the 22nd, i just hope that nothing bad happens anymore because no birthday of mine went around without any mishaps.
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I hope your b-day goes great anon!Long live April anons
My b-day is coming up too and I got some shit news so I'm already bummed. I did get some presents early tho so I'm treating myself to some online shoppin.
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Ummm anon this question is so stupid I want to die
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pic kinda related idk ily lolcow admin
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I come to this thread every time my boyfriend is acting like an asshole to me, but I can never bring myself up to actually write anything. Sometimes I want to write about all the awful things he says to me, but I just can't. I feel so selfish for even complaining about it. pic unrelated (wish it was)
>>787872>I'm scared >he'd hurt himself to get me back (that happened before)
You aren't a doormat, you've been conditioned by a dangerously manipulative abuser
Don't be sorry, I'm sure you've been taught that you have to be sorry for everything, but you don't
this this this this this this
Tell his family, you have absolutely no responsibility to this man, and if you tell his family, you don't have to worry about him getting help, that's on them
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>fall for three fucbois last year
>meet a guy i like
>"anon, he's a fuckboi"
>"no, he's not. he's nice and i really like him please"
>get sexual and stuff with him
>today, feeling like shit over some mental stuff
>got some meds changed and it triggered some thoughts about my past suicide attempts
>im not suicidal whatsoever. but the dr knows 4 years ago i was. sometimes he treats me like im still that person. i dont know i just felt stupid and ashamed. i know, i know there was no ill intention and its just me
>dont send the guy i like a message at all cause im feeling about this but also…im like… does he care about me or is it just me trying to make him care? cause most of the time im the one sending him messages and asking him whats wrong when he posts emo shit
>getting kinda late…
>guy i like sends me a message!
>hes saying if theres something wrong!!
>i literally had sent him one message back
>he asked me how i was doing so i was debating in my head what to say cause of course i couldnt talk about the suicide stuff or even the meds
>start typing and deleting shit for some time
>i guess he gets desperate
>send me a picture of his boner before i can even type back how im feeling
>"hahaha not in the mood sorry"
>"oh thats fine im sorry!"
>why do i keep getting my hopes up for people that see me as a fucktoy and nothing else
inb4 its your fault for being sexual so fast. it is my fault, anons. i was also groomed when i was 5 and my relationship with sex as an adult is very weird and mostly sad and pathetic. im still working on it. just wanted to clarify.
reported it, nonnie
. thanks for bringing it to attention.
I don't get how or why a receptionist (or any employee whose job it is to interact with people) acts this way.
If I were the employer, I'd be super pissed off, that a client would debate changing offices just because Sharon can't sope with professionalism.
I really don't understand the extreme bitterness. If you look at reviews of this place all of them are praising the doctors and hating the receptionists. She literally sighed and rolled her eyes at me because the spelling of my husband's name wasn't what she initially thought it was.
Honestly I've never experienced something like this before and I miss just having Kaiser and not having to call random offices that take my insurance.
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I tried reaching out to my old friends because I miss hanging out with them and I am forgetting my native language, just for them to quietly ghost me.
Is that all because I spent a whole year not having any human contact at all, just to get my life together I do not know. I told everyone about it before I stopped spending time on social media, saying that I will be busy for a long time, and I hope everyone will understand it.
I never had any beef with anyone, our relationship is literally at least 6 year old, and 10 year old at max. I admit I ended up growing a lot faster and more as a person, discovering new things, running from one thing to another, but it hurts to know that they don't want to talk to me without even explaining why.
At the very least, my huge motivation when it comes to drawing is both anger and loneliness, which is why I thankfully can pull off charging a lot for commission. So i guess I will just sit there and keep teaching myself more ways to draw. I don't know. It sucks.
What have I done wrong… I do not know… I thought that all of us were adults and would understand that sometimes life gets in the way… I do not know ifI should even bother reacing out to them again…
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do I have a generational curse or something? it’s almost like no one likes to talk to me even online
I truly hope so anon! Though I’m honest my fearful of socializing with people yet I still want to do so. >>788163
I have no idea why that happens, it could really fuck up your sense of self. The same thing would happen to me most of the time and I thought I seriously wasn’t real and I was like a phantom walking on earth. I always have to resort to being an asshole in order to get attention online and it really isn’t desirable at all. Maybe our souls just don’t resonate with other people’s? That sounds really cringey because it’s not that deep but I was wondering why. Why am I the pariah I don’t even sincerely do anything super bizarre. Even rats in the dirty New York subway have more friends than me kek
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had a psychiatrist appointment and got diagnosed with depression along with bpd traits (only because i was diagnosed with depression since a preteen and i need to have another full evaluation for bpd). she also said it could be bipolar but i don't have that kind of mania/depression so i don't truly qualify, and i think it's primarily genetic and it doesn't run in my family? i don't know. i feel like a fucking freak, i know there was always something wrong with my mindset but the fact that i hit almost all of the bpd symptoms makes me feel so.. stupid? all i've known about bpd are bad, awful things so the fact that i may have it scares me. it makes so much sense though and i just want to explode.
You'll be a brave and stunning lesbian couple uwu
For real though I hate that a lot of scrotes that seem nice tend to troon out and be degenerates.
i completely understand, anon. i denied having bpd for ages, then my friends bf, who is a GP diagnosed me without even soliciting it.
it has such bad connotations and reputations that i cant help but feel ashamed of it. but its not really my fault. i am hoping to get an nhs psych appt some time soon
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>>788199>I touched his back it was covered in crusty acne and almost puked and his nails were long like nosferatus and he's morbidly obese. I feel like I'm in ugly bastard porn when he fucks me and my mind is usually elsewhere anyways>woke up angry and went immediately to the store and came homeNonny
, what are you doing? You don't even live with this guy, why are you fucking this disgusting pig that also disrespects your boundaries?
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>>788199>I touched his back it was covered in crusty acne and almost puked and his nails were long like nosferatus and he's morbidly obese
How did you guys end up together?
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>>788199>you've been fucking nosferatu for EIGHT YEARS
What keeps you from breaking it off, anon?
I am dating a man who used to be on /b/ and 4chan a lot. That’s the line he feeds me, but he must have been doing something very distasteful for him to react the way he is. He’s changed, and he wants to make sure everyone knows he’s changed. His method for doing this is by being holier than thou about anything he thinks other people would be concerned about, specifically sexism. I am into a game series and he will not shut up about how sexist it is. This annoys me greatly. I’m a woman, why does he feel the need to tell me what I should be offended by? The easy answer is virtue signaling, but I don’t understand why he’s doing it to me. He knows I use lolcow, and will discuss AGPs with me, so it’s very grating to hear him demonstrating his upstanding morals. I get it. You changed.
The thing is— did he though? We got drunk once and he sort of raped me. He probably wouldn’t see it that way, because in his head he is Prince Charming and can do no wrong, but I was too drunk and said no but eventually gave in because he was so insistent. Not very feminist of him. It’s these things that confirm he’s posturing with his morals snd rhetoric— it’s all for show, because he clearly doesn’t respect me. I guess he is more upset by sexism in video games.
Anon, stop visiting TERF
threads, it rots your brain. Trans people are extremely rare, so chance that your boyfriend will turn out to be one is also low. He probably just has body image issues due to aging and not being able to keep his boyish looks.
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My GERD is flaring up again. Not only that, this time I have to deal with a lot of built up mold inside my house that's really affecting me. My ex won't stop looking for ways to continue to contact me even after I blocked him on everything. Haven't been really studying as well as I would like because I feel so chronically ill. Dear God, please give me a break, i've been good and I only plan to be good. What should I even do anymore?
Transpeople are rare, transtrenders are not. I'm not even a terf
or a frequenter in terf
/gendercritical/transgenderism-related threads and even I know this. Transgenderism is a very real and present trend.
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I’m so fucking tired of handmaidens and the state of derby. I get it, I’ve been there, I know what is going through your head and I get why you think it makes sense. But it fucking doesn’t. By principle I try to prioritize interaction with female owned businesses but when I’m looking at a site and they have tranny flag laces for a women’s sport it’s just funny. They don’t sell lesbian or bi flag laces either(not that I’d want them to, advertising that way in this sport would be weird imo), which makes sense because they’re sexualities, but aren’t they supposed to be a package deal? This shit is retarded.
Obviously TIFs exist but they don’t even make sense— it’s a women’s team, not mixed sex. If these women are supposed to be male, why play on a women’s fucking team? What bothers me the most is how clearly superficial the pandering is. TIM troons are even less common and switch teams constantly because the truth is nobody cares for their crusty scrote asses and they’re shitty players to begin with. But we have to put on a fucking front because the sport is on a decline and new recruits are almost never well-adjusted normies now. It’s so retarded and I can’t express how stupid it is anymore. At least with TIFs you know they’re still women, but it’s tiring having to pretend they’re the gender they say they are because women in a women’s sport want to feel special. They’re an extreme minority too, so again the effort by the leagues and shops is ridiculous. If you complain to the captain or coach privately 9.9/10 times they will agree with you, .1 times they’re okay with it because it’s an excuse to allow a girl on steroids to play. Either way you’ll be the one in trouble if you say something publicly. The absolute state of derby.>>788246
NTA You’re right they’re statistically rare but they’re all trenders, and anon’s bf could easily fall down the rabbit hole depending on the kind of people he surrounds themselves with, both publicly and privately. I don’t think her fear is completely unjustified depending on that. >>788164
I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. If he hasn’t said anything akin to his “femininity” or crossdressing then you can assume it’s just makeup. I know people like to avoid stirring the pot in this situation but if you two are really so great together then you shouldn’t fear asking him what he feels about it. If it sounds suspicious enough (AGP) then at least you know.
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maybe i misjudged because sometimes im the one that starts sexting. he just tried sexting when i wasnt in the mood, and didnt push or anything. he apologized instead but i completely left him on seen and did something else cause i was sad. ignored him all day. from what he said a week ago, he only really talks to his mom and me. which i wasnt sure, but he has 70 facebook friends and posts shit all the time and no one reacts to it so i am truly questioning if he has friends or not. like i said i didnt reply to his apology and just stopped talking to himself all together.
when i was back in facebook he had a bunch of whiny posts on his wall. he ALWAYS posts the cringiest shit in his wall and no one ever reacts>"cant fucking sleep… im so tired… i just want love… im so sick and tired.">"i feel so alone">always had the vibe he was autistic and the fact he keeps posting whiny shit publicly to me kinda confirms it.
anon, I second >>788282
. You deserve better!
I used to be head over heels in love with my bf. We've been together for four years now, and I'm barely attracted to him anymore. We have sex once a week or so, and I do that just to please him, I don't enjoy it anymore at all because the medication I'm on has eradicated my sex drive. I recently had to kick him out of our apartment because he has been unemployed for over a year. We are 25 years old, I want to start our adult lives together and settle down. But he's basically living like a bum right now and concerns expressed from me or family members just don't phase him because he thinks we are just being judgmental. He hasn't worked in over a year and he hasn't gone to school in 3 years. What does our future hold for us? Because right now it looks like I will be pulling all the financial weight and having to submit myself to my overgrown child of a bf to keep him from whining. It's very hard for me to be affectionate or sexual when he is doing literally nothing to improve his life or to prove to me he can provide for a family in the future, let alone himself. He is also completely consumed by insecurity, I am sure I'm not helping but I can't help that it's turning me off so much. When he tries to be physically intimate with me, his insecurity is so apparent, his body language is so feminine and second-guessing. It repulses me and I feel awful about it. I miss my old bf that was a hard-working, motivated young man with a bright future ahead of him. I don't see any of that anymore. I know deep down he's an amazing person, but if he doesn't get his shit together soon, I don't think I can keep doing this. I feel like I'm on the verge of breaking up with him. I'm dreading it because he is going to have a complete mental breakdown and I will be completely alone after that bc I don't really have friends.
still have more shit to say lol
I'm repulsed by him right now because he is so obsessed with me. He idealizes me and I hate it. He throws 100 compliments a day at me, I am literally tired of saying "thank you." It feels like he's kissing my ass in a desperate attempt to make me affectionate towards him again, but I don't know how many times I've made it clear that what would make me happy is him getting his shit together and making something of his life. Supposedly, OUR life. He wants us to be together forever, get married, have a family but he's doing absolutely nothing to make that happen, does he not realize how selfish it is to expect these things with me and contribute nothing to realize these goals? I don't like being obsessed over. 1 or 2 compliments a day instead of 30 would be good. Getting a fucking job would be good. He is so overbearing and suffocating me. I'm smothered.
I know I sound like a bitch right now… I'm not. I just don't want a relationship that is mostly my boyfriend kissing my ass and expecting tons of intimacy and sex from me and nothing else. We are adults, I have goals and I don't want to live a bum life with him.
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I made an offhand comment in my all-girls group chat about how sometimes I masturbate and it’s anticlimactic (we’re tmi with each other like that), and two of my friends were like “can’t relate, I don’t really masturbate bc I don’t cum from it” and I thought, eh, ok, maybe because they both have boyfriends currently? Then they went on to talk about how even sex with their boyfriends doesn’t make them cum. What??? How is it possible that nothing gets them off? They’re not even the first women I’ve heard of being “unable” to. I didn’t press them on the subject because I’m not a creep, but honestly I feel kind of… upset on their behalf lol. I wonder if it’s a matter of women not quite knowing themselves/their bodies well enough?
reminds me of how I thought I was gonna be a permavirgin so I read tons of online "literature" about how to perform sexually and it worked out in the sense that I know techniques. sounds basic but someone I know told me I was the first person to crook my fingers while inside her to stimulate the g-spot
as if the most basic fingering technique was revolutionary. I pity the girl.
These are so hard to read. Your boyfriend clearly has issues, you say he was doing ok when you met, did something happen? How did he lose his job? Is it possible that something traumatic you don't know of occured?
He definitely needs therapy, and while normally people with issues benefit from their partner support while they work out their problems, it will be better for you both if you leave him. There's so much disgust and pity in your words, while he seems to clearly notice it and desperately try to cling to you, what repulses you even more, it only sinks his self esteem further. You loved him, tell him that, tell him you see a potential in him he has to work on, but without you; because if these posts weren't written in some blind irrational rage and these are your conscious, constant thoughts about him, there's nothing to salvage here.
KEKKK anon you got me>>788347
We’re in our goddamn 20s! But to give some context, both of them have been with their current bfs since college. I have a bad feeling it’s more about commitment/comfort as this point>>788350
Poor girl, but congrats on escaping permavirginity, anon
Yep, my ex-best friend was like this. She never masturbated because it felt wrong
to her, but never had an orgasm with her boyfriend either. What especially shocked me was is that when we were talking about other bedroom stuff, she implied that she doesn't even know what or where the clitoris is
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i feel incredibly detached from the world. am I even human anymore lol
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My sister joined me for lockdown and i was so happy because i love her but it's been almost a month now and while i tried to lose weight (vegan and pratically only fresh food) i ended up GAINING while my sister who is skinny fat bought easter chocolat and ate it in her bed for a week straight and she LOST weight.
Is my karma so bad ? i really wanted to scream and be angry at someone but it's not even her fault, i'm just miserable by my own fault
100 % i have a portion problem, i ate 3 meals worth of turnips for dinner but the worse is that she will eat my meals with me because she only cooks pasta (but stops after 3 spoons when i will get a second plate)
i think my main problem is that i'm bored and pratically always at home so i eat to occupy myself
i have musilms friends who lost weight while fasting, i should try with them i guess
it's the kind of things i know i should do but never end up doing
fuck, i realized i didn't actually put as much efforts into it as i like to pretend, i really need to get it together
I dont think so, i dont remember sharing emails with him
But it also suggested me a manager at my work whom i have never texted. Idk man, instagram is creepy
Look at your macros and you will probably find that you are eating too many carbs. Weight loss is more complicated than just CICO. When you eat carbohydrate your body will quickly turn it into glucose. If you don't burn off that glucose as energy it gets stored as fat. If you're vegan try adding beans, nuts and lentils to meals for more protein. There's also low calorie, low carb vegetables such as mushrooms, cucumber and zucchini.>>788499
If you've got the money to spend you could try a Spotify subscription. I've found so much good music through their recommendations.
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I'm so exhausted, this mentally unstable woman in my workplace/community has been obsessing and targeting me as her new bestie and is forcing a one-sided friendship upon me.
Shes has a history with making a lot of people in the same community uncomfortable, flirting with peoples partners and befriending groomers.
Last weekend she kept making romantic implications towards my partner so I had to set a boundary with her and she made a public spectacle of loud sobbing but she left me alone for the rest of the day.
Afterwards she kept looking for my attention on all my social medias by sending constant DMs and replying to all my stories
There's an event this weekend I have to attend and she'll be there too, I'm so uncomfortable with how things are going to turn out. wish me luck anons
fuck, i know a classmate like that. just remeber you don't owe her anything and if she's already known to be a weirdo, avoiding her won't make you seem like a jerk.
good luck anon
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Every time I start feeling like I have my shit together I relapse into not knowing what I'm doing or why I'm bothering. This is exhausting.
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Maybe my boss is mad at me, I asked for a night off I normally work on to see a movie. They said it was fine if I could open, I agreed and it turns out they scheduled me to work almost ten hours. I’ve been thinking about going another day because I’ll probably feel like garbage going to the theater at night after a shift like that. I hate that I can never ask for anything at work when it always turns into a monkey paw situation.
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the more i post here the more lonely and depressed i feel cuz i only get 1 or 2 replies a week. they're not even long or complicated posts either. idk why it's now suddenly bothering me. i wonder if i should start baiting or spam dump my favorite gay anime porn but that's against the rurus and my husbando and ships aren't popular anyway so nobody would care.
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I hate being so parasocial. If I don’t have a crush on someone in real life I find some internet rando to latch onto. Currently I’m obsessed with some streamer who I’ll never meet because he reminds me of one of my exes. I wish I could be normal and learn to just exist without needing to be in a relationship but it’s hard. I want to love and be loved so bad but then I start dating people and feel trapped. I don’t feel like I fully connect with most people either.
i'm in no position to rec things tbh, most of what i like are shounenshit pairings. though i did post once and at least one nonnie
liked my taste. i have more art but don't want to look like i'm shitting up the threads with the same characters. half of what i saved is 2lewd anyway so jannies will probably delete it in seconds.
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>In this Discord server
>Person takes interest in a childhood cartoon
>Tell him to have fun
>Fastforward a couple days later
>He talks about the cartoon in the server
>"Something, something, problematic" "Something, something trans coded" "Something, something, pronouns"
You're being reasonable. If he confronted you with some hard truths in his opinion or whatever and he was annoyed then why would you be able to digest it and handle it within a few hours. Just tell him you're reflecting or some bullshit and if he pushes the point tell him he's toxic
lol (maybe don't idk)
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Whenever I have no weed I just want to die. I don’t bother showering, getting out of bed or even brushing my teeth. I feel so bored and listless and I have no interests in anything. Call me pathetic but I’ve been smoking daily for 11 years and when I don’t have it I want to fucking die. I’m also a borderline alcoholic.
I want to move in with my grandfather and help him care for my ailing grandmother because I love them both so much and they are currently suffering, my grandfather is depressed because he is lonely and only has my senile grandmother for company and she’s in extreme pain all the time. He doesn’t even care if I pay rent or help him, all he wants is company. He says I cheer him up just by being there.
They live in the middle of nowhere, beautiful English countryside…no fucking weed anywhere, nobody under the age of 40+ for miles. How can I do this while I’m still pathetically addicted to weed? I just want to be a good person and make them proud.
Sending you love and understanding right back Nonita. I really want to give up this retarded habit, save money and get my life together.
I’m thinking about creating a drug addiction thread on lolcow, as there’s already an alcoholic one.
Anon, how old are you…!!
I feel horrible for you, because there's barely any chance he would actually stop being an ass towards poor workers. People like him really need to try working as a custom service support or in retail. Whenever someone acts like a bitch towards, lets say, baristas, I raise a major red flag because i used to have a part-time job as a waitress in a the middle of a huge city, and it was hell.
many things to vent about but ill focus on one bothering me a lot lately. ex treated me like fucktoy and insulted me everytime he could. one day i texted a friend he doesnt like, but he had never told me he didnt liked her. and when he checked my phone to see who i was talking to he started yelling to my face:
>"you ugly fucking stupid whore. you do realize im the best youre going to get? im out of your fucking league. you should be fucking thankful i gave your ugly ass a chance. shut the fuck up. i dont want you talking to (close friend). you are a goddamn idiot, you and your stupid ugly fucking hair (i dyed it a shade he wanted me to). i could make fun off your looks all day long. but do i? you should be fucking thankful. youre never going to get someone better than me."
i cried for so much over this and the words still hurt me to this day. there were worse thing though, just the one at the top of my head. he was handsome, tall, an engineer, confident, funny. sometimes i tell myself, he's right. i should beg for his forgiveness… but i always stop, cause all my friends and family know he's abusive and would never let it happen. but god, i have daydreams, sometimes legit dreams sometimes about getting back with him even… it hurts.
I've also been a daily smoker for over a decade. I haven't smoked in 5 days now and I've been going through withdrawal. I was prescribed marijuana for my mental health issues, but I want to stop smoking because it's not good for my health in the long run. I would cough up black mucus after every toke. I would need to take a hit before doing pretty much anything. I was at the point where I was wake-and-baking almost every day. I had such bad brain fog that I would lose my train of thought mid-sentence. my tolerance got so high that it no longer affected me in the same way; I was smoking just to feel normal.
I've quit smoking cigarettes before, and it was way easier than quitting weed. in withdrawal, I have no appetite. I can barely manage to eat one meal per day. at night, my dreams are vivid. I've been on an emotional rollercoaster. I've had suicidal thoughts. but I know that I'm doing what's best for me. I don't want to be a stoner anymore. I want to be able to travel someday without worrying about getting my next fix. I want to be able to function like a normal person and achieve my goals. I'm already starting to feel a bit better. I think the first few days are the worst. I can relate to your struggle and I'm wishing you the best. both of my grandfathers are dead and I urge you to spend time with yours while you still can.
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I just gathered that my obsessive hand washing started because of the swine flu epidemic when we had all of those signs telling us to wash our hands before entering and exiting a class. It lasted for at least 5 years. Teens of today have wild, chapped times ahead of them.
I’m so sorry for that, that’s kinda fucked up that they would prescribe it for mental health. Physical health and pain, yes, as well as seizure conditions, but to treat mental health? That’s bonkers.
I just made a weed addict thread. I don’t know how active it will be but you’re free to share anything you like, tips or vents or resources etc >>180800
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Yeah we're both American, and she's really into BLM stuff. But when it's brown people in another country dying of COVID, it doesn't matter. Low key kinda racist, imo.
I don't think my friend will die, but he lives in Delhi which is being hit super bad right now. I think his grandparents or even parents might be at risk.
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I hate being a sexual object.
i was groomed and molested during my childhood by a family member i loved. i didnt understand what he had done and didnt tell my parents cause i loved him. my relationship with sex has been fucked from the very start. in the last six months, ive been used sexually by seven different people. not always penetration, sometimes just sexting and nudes. but i cant say no to anyone. i feel afraid, and i tell myself: this is how this works, this is how it works, this is how you get love. ive had so many sexual encounters i didnt want to have, but said yes every single time. i cant say no, mentally i feel like i cant do it. i was sexually assaulted while i was high last year and even he said, "you said yes at the time." and i believe him.
ive never said no to sex in my entire life. so i keep being used sexually by people who feel nothing for me. with the dumb fantasy, "this is what love is, this is how you become loved" that the grooming did to me. but in matter of weeks im thrown away and forgotten completely. seven times, six months. i keep doing the same shit. but never learn. i hate myself. i hate being a sexual object to people and refusing to accept it till they throw me away.
the seven people (two women and five men) i felt nothing for. some were my friends, but i had never felt anything romantic or sexual for them ever (except one). legit felt nothing. but the second they start approaching me, with obvious sexual intentions, i get the feeling that its love. and then i get really attached, thinking this is it. this is the person thats going to love me. they obviously never do. and it is very silly of me to fall every time.
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im starting to realize as im getting older that i dont really want friends. That or im just tired of the friends i currently have. I just feel like everyone talks down on my decisions or pressures me to pursue things that i am already in the process of trying to pursue. Yes friends are great and i do enjoy having people to text and lend my emotional support to and vice versa. But like idk i just always feel judged and like im the friend who constantly has to get her shit together. Meanwhile my shit is together in the way that i want it to be. I have a job and I have my own apartment that i share with my sister. These are all the things i wanted to accomplish before i turned 25 which i was able to achieve. I know the job that I work at isnt somewhere I want to be forever or even another 6 months. Its just this is literally the FIRST time in my very depressing life that I feel comfortable. I have a place to lay my head at night, i make enough money to afford bills and rent and i have an easy job. Like I dont understand what more people want from me. I know complacency isnt good at the fuck all but like this is the first time i ever had the the luxury of being complacent in my life. Like let me be lazy for once i've earned it after years of stress and strife.
I visted one of my childhood friends yesterday and she kept recommending md places to apply to for work and im like no i dont want to work at those places leave me tf alone. If i wanted to work in that field i wouldve applied. Like stop pressuring me and just be glad i havent offed myself yet.This leads me to why i dont really think i wwant friends because on top of the pressure i dont like that annoying subconscious feeling of always having to compare myself to them because i feel like they are outwardly comparing themselves to me. All in all i just want to be left to the few mutuals I have online and be left the fuck alone.
My dad came back home 30 mins earlier than he had told me and he recriminated to me that not even the table was ready for lunch, the least he expects after working all morning and I was here. And I understand, but I had class until 1 hour before he came, finished my notes, ate something and started washing the dishes. I was going to have everything ready by the time he was originally going to be here. I told him that and continued with the chores but now I'm in my room crying a little bit because he's so ungrateful. I'm independent, take care of myself and my parents, never bring problems to neither of them, do all the house chores and the cleaning (happily), always willing to help them, grateful for what they do, keep up with their bullshit, I'm stressed with uni and I have exams back to back in two weeks and I can't even get some consideration for, god forbids, not putting a plate and a fork on the table once. I wish I had defended myself more, hopefully he'll understand but I don't want to see him not even once today
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I wish I was surrounded by shitty relationships like before. I never worried about being alone since it was much preferable than being with some of the scrotes my friends were with. Then I decided to be a dumb bitch and start improving my life / hanging around better people, and now I’m surrounded by genuinely functional and overall happy couples. Fml I want to go back to being a little white trash ghetto rat.
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My friend/ex-gf told me today she's now a she/they nonbinary, and I quote, "not just a girl". She's one of the most feminine women I've ever met, she literally has a venus sign tattoo. I know she's just doing this because she's in an LTR with a man and doesn't feel "queer enough" for her ultrawoke friend group, but it's staggering how much respect for her I have now lost. Honestly she's too fucking old for this shit, and I thought her critical thinking skills were a lot better than this. Depressing.
They use photoshop/facetune or filters and if
they’re actually “naturally
” pretty, it’s because they probably spend their days at the gym or working out at home, having balanced eating habits and going to sleep at a decent time to get enough hours of sleep.
If you truly want to change yourself in a healthy way, that’s okay, but I’m pretty sure you’re beautiful as you are, nonnie
, you don’t need to stop eating, so grab an apple or something, love yourself.
Hi anon, like others have said, social media is a farce and everyone only
puts the very, very best version of themselves on it. It's easy to say "those are just a lot of filters and photoshop" but so difficult to bring yourself to really believe it because it can sound like a cop out excuse and another way to put yourself down, but it's true. I took a long break from ig, and ultimately quit cosplay because I constantly felt inferior. There are days where I look in the mirror and suck in my belly and wonder why I can't look like some of the girls I follow, but again, no one would ever show the bad parts of themselves on social media. It's so, so heavily curated.
You and I and every one of us are beautiful anon, and I hope you will find peace and realize that. You don't have to have the most beautiful facial features or the slimmest most toned body to be beautiful. There is someone out there who probably looks at you and thinks to themself "fuck she's so beautiful I'm so jealous". Social media is a lie, do not ever believe it.
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my step dad from i was 10-12 years old would sit on the couch, in the middle of the living room, with his fly down and hand down his underwear. like, for hours. this isn't normal, right? it would make me extremely uncomfortable and my mom never did anything about it. i need to talk with my therapist about this, but just thinking about it makes me feel so disgusted.
Omg guys, thank you all very much! You have no idea how much your words comforted me!!!!
I ate a little as I felt a bit better. Also I told my sister how I felt and cried so that also helped. Thanks again nonnies you all are the best love you
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Love you, nonnie
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Hot take, but I literally hate it when bisexuals tell me that same-sex attraction is nbd and not a big issue that I should worry about often. Bitch you're a bisexual! You are not a lesbian! You are entirely capable of being attracted to boyfriends! We're both attracted to women, but this shit is DIFFERENT DIFFERENT nonetheless. I swear to god. I feel like such a bitch for judging so insanely hard on sexuality, but their bullshit advice is basically never helpful.
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A customer told me to “have a nice lunch!” after they vaguely heard the conversation about breaks my coworkers were having, which was about me not being able to take my break because we were too busy and shortstaffed
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I was excited to try this shit and it smells like fucking armor all and burned when I used it. Damn
Anon. This is beautiful. You clearly have superior Googling skills.
It doesn't have all of the features that I want, but it looks good, so I can probably get over it. Thank you!
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why are they/thems and he/him "lesbians" and butch women never considered a fetish or "bad" but feminine men are? specifically asking about fandom spaces online.
liking a character like astolfo gets you such shit because he's "offensive to trans people!!" or whatever but nobody has ever cared or raised a fuss about like…sailor uranus. idk it's frustrating i want these people to see their hypocrisy
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>tfw tracked down a girl I hugged 1 (one) time at a convention almost a decade ago when we were both young teens
REAL tfw no gf hours tonight, ladies.
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Been wanting a horror/gurro art thread bc I’m chuuni faggot but I know scrotes would just posts porn in it
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I feel like shit. Took Zyrtec for my horrible allergies and it not only doesn’t work for the symptoms but made me nauseous with vomiting and diarrhea. I can’t take Pepto with it omg help anons.
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>So both my little brother and I are on the spectrum and also have ADHD. He's several years younger than I am and our experiences with our disorders are very different
>He got to be diagnosed as soon he entered grade school. I was diagnosed when I was around 20 years old
>He constantly got coddled growing up and I was told multiple times that I'm a parasite who's an alcoholic addict who will die homeless
>I'm an "alcoholic" because I used to drink socially on Saturdays with friends and "addict" because I rely on ADHD medication to hopefully function better
>Before my diagnosis whenever I called out my brother for doing fuck all around the house he was excused with "hE'S aUtIsTiC hE cAn'T dO AnYtHiNg bY hImsELF"
>I get yelled at for not doing literally ALL the chores when my brother and dad have not done more than just cleaning up after their own messes for weeks or months
>My parents are always supportive of my brother having some form of social life but when I was his age and tried to use my free time to socialise I get shouted at for not studying enough
>When I try to call out this hypocrisy what I get is "yOu'Re JuSt JeAlOuS oF yOuR bRoThEr, yOu NeVeR lIkEd hIm"
>Parents will never be willing to have a conversation about this and they have an outdated mindset that sons are better than daughters and men are better than women (even if the girls/women are the main providers and/or also do the most around the house)
>Currently pushing to get myself moved out ASAP through disability support because I was basically told that "lol your dad and I are fucking poor so we're going to move out to a part of the country that nobody wants to move out to, so if you want to stay you're on your own gg"
>It took fucking years to organise the supports I have now that I still have to keep working on because parents refused to stop being in denial about me for years
>If I have to move to a different state where the support system is different all of the time and money I spent is tossed into the trash
>Just fuck that sexist mindset that men are somehow better than women but at the same time bigger victims when faced with similar issues
, I'm so sorry. Your parents are abusive
cunts. I really hope you'll be able to move out and stay close to your support system.
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just vomited, didn’t even drink that much alcohol
also I hate it when it comes out the nose too. The smell is terrible
I think I’m just gonna stop drinking forever.
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This has probably been felt and posted before, but
I think I look worse than some of the pics of the cows on farm. It kinda hurts every time anons rip apart a less than ideal pic of a cow saying that they look too old for their age or have an unfortunate face etc. when they look better than I do at the same age in the same lighting. Some of them even have the same facial features as me but like, better lmao. They have better skin than me (unshooped) and I put in the effort on skincare and hygiene that some of the worst ones don't. The ones that get fucked up plastic surgery give me hahas but also sadness because it reiterates the fact that not even surgery can salvage a cold mess. Normal looking people fucking up their face is still pretty sad even if they're suboptimal in terms of personality and interpersonal conduct.
I know I shouldn't let look-related things get to me too deep AND hanging out on lolcow is one of the least productive things to do. But since this is a vent thread and I'm not gonna take this bs to an irl friend, I just want to open up about being bummed out on this specific thing. Beauty issues get to me because they're a barrier to basic human treatment at some unpredictable times, and I'm tired of pretending it doesn't hurt, that shit impresses no one and helps nothing. I feel stupid for feeling attacked when cows that look better than me are picked apart and I can't be sure what part of it is a nitpick and what's legit.
I'm not blaming farmers for my look related self-esteem issues or looking for asspats, that's for sure. I just wonder if anyone here relates and/or is tired of being anxious about their tired anxious looking face. Been feeling vulnerable just thinking of writing this.
I just want a total stress free vacation from anything to do with compliments or remarks pertaining to appearance. Leaving lolcow for a bit wouldn't even be enough repair though, I'd need to leave society since this is a deeper issue.
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I have a colleague at work who got hired thanks to me, I thought it would be a chance for us to hang out more and become better friends but even though she's more than eager to talk, all she does is talking about herself, it became so bad now anything I'd say that is not a direct response to her thing gets straight up ignored or met with dismissive "I see" type response. I was there for her when she was feeling down during the worst hectic work times, I've proposed multiple things to do together so we can bond and she always would flake on me but still writes countless messages daily about herself and her interests. I'm annoyed but most of all I'm honestly upset because I thought that I'll finally have a friend and seems like she's just using me for my time and that's it.
Remember that nitpicking is 1st of all done by very specific kind of people that you're not very likely to ever meet in real life, and also it's amplified by farmers disgust with specific cows, they would very likely never look that close and tear apart a person that has never done anything wrong to them. It's a meme at this point but you know in many cases it definitely is jealousy too. Additionally, there are things about cows that get nitpicked by some people but some other people consider attractive actually, they just dont mention that in the threads, because they'd get accused of being a friend of the cow; for example I've once shared my insecurity on /g/ about my bodypart that looks like certain cow's bodypart that people often bring up in the thread as something that makes her ugly, and anons on /g/ were supportive and some said for them it's actually appealing or a complete non-issue.
tl;dr Don't take gossip threads as a gospel on what's beautiful, if you feel like they're getting too much into your head, take a break; no one is perfect, cows arent, farmers arent, you can't please everyone. Society sucks but in real life and in person no one is actually cruel like this and you really need to remember that.
This. And then they post the overused "inner beauty" illustration to justify them obsessing over a cow's appearance. It's so tedious, just accept that bad people can be attractive and good people can be ugly. If anything, attractive people are probably much likely to be selfish as according to studies people are more willing to forgive them for misdeeds compared to unattractive people.
Overall anons acting like an average to attractive looking female cow is a hideous goblin with no redeemable physical qualities have crossed over the line from reasonably appalled to spergdom. You can argue that Momokun fucked her figure up with the frankenstein lipo procedures and now looks like Donkey Kong in a thong because that's on her and caused by her own choices, but calling her face ugly and posting mid movement instagram screenshots to call her out for not looking like an airbrushed, filtered meitucam queen all the time seems projecting.
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this is what you guys are talking about
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I’m so sick of people like pic related. I want to a log every time I see shit like this. OMG she’s aging! That means she can’t wear pastels, florals, primary colours, cute patterns, stuff with animals on it, pink lipsticks, a line or pleated skirts/dresses, bright makeup, or anything cute or Kawaii at all, can’t wear her hair long, can’t keep piercings in, can’t die her hair, can’t wear bright nail polish. Because she’s 25+ Which means she should wear nothing but grey suits and dress smart business casual and give up trying to be youthful, attractive and fun. I hate them.
It’s so obvious they’re like barely 21 and have internalised the ageism from the manosphere. They probably feel superior just for being younger. I absolutely hate them. You are making yourselves and all other women feel like complete shit, for what? For making it past the first quarter of their life? They’re the same nonnies that cry about turning 25+ and act like their life is over, meanwhile they thirst after 40+ year old. Disgusting.
Btw I’m 26, which I consider to be the prime of my life. Have fun being miserable in your own skin and hating yourselves for aging like any normal human being does.
They definitely bought the manosphere idea that women are only attractive when they are in their 20s or below. lol
The idea that someone should ditch their interests because they are aging is pretty stupid.
I think her clothes suit her age perfectly fine. However that haircut is super bad. Tbh I had the same one when I was four years old in the 90s.
I think the "teenage animu baby" is referring to her photoshop, and she still does it fam.
They project so fucking hard >cow wears something pink, girly, cute
OMG she’s so in denial! She wants to look like an uwu ddlg baby forever! Stupid old hag! She’s so desperate to stay young! She wants all the scrotes to lust after her and sperg about how she’s an uwu legal Loli on their 4chan boards uwu! She’s so afraid of aging haha! Ha! She’s aging so fast! Look at all the wrinkles around her eyes when she smiles and laughs! My 35 year old 4chan bf I met on discord said she looks like a fucking hag too!
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>>789496>mfw I finally am mature enough to style how I want, with whatever I want, when I want and am no longer babyfat, and then these zoomy fucks roll in and start spraying their shit everywhere like it's the lord's gospel
Like stfu makayla, the only reason you think you have your shit together is that your parents still manage it for you while you sit on your ass posting on your pathetic ddlg blogge sit tf down
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I'm pretty sure what anon meant was that Dakota has been known for capitalizing on her shooped 'baby alien princess jailbait uwu' looks but she can't rely on that anymore ever since she stopped shooping and people can see her real face. She should go for another image, I think a more androgynous look would suit her but I don't think that's popular in Japan>>789515
this made me kekk
>>789486>My 35 year old 4chan bf I met on discord said she looks like a fucking hag too!
Lost my sides at this one, holy kek anon it's too accurate
Anyway it's tiring that these kids don't realize that they won't magically grow out of the fun stuff they like, no woman turned 30 and suddenly came out wearing nothing but mom jeans and business casual while pushing a baby stroller because of some innate desire. It's because people are memed into thinking that adult women have to stop having a personality besides a yoga mom, a girlboss or a mean old karen. I'll never forget the anon who was worried about wearing a crop top at 31 because she felt too old for it and it just boggles my mind, it's not like it's a diaper or a toddler onesie.
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I’ve noticed that in action role-playing games that they always cop out with a heavily implied strong female character and make her really shitty or with “nerfed” talents and skills or give her a dumb healing ability. I’m going all tinfoil because I feel like they always do this shit when they make female video game characters with very few exceptions where women are dominant in the game like Bayonetta. Venting about genshin again but I have not seen a female 5-star as strong as someone like Zhongli
After 25 years of age you're only allowed to be a soccer mom and that's it, exactly. lmao
Kinda crazy how there are so many women spreading this bullshit. Unfortunately too many have spent time drinking the manosphere kool aid and that mixes with their own insecurities.
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It's always sad when someone can relate to something like this, but hey let's both try our best, if I can pull through so can you!
I believe in you anon!
Bullies like that made me think that I just didn't get along with other girls or something and I really resent them for it. No idea if they intended to apologize or just wanted to creep on my life but I ignored their FB requests when I got them.
You're right, it probably is more for their own guilty conscience than anything.
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Fuck my micromanaging, oompa-loompa looking boss! I already do so much here and yet she still expects more with no complaint. I would never use the term gaslighting lightly but she has my department mentally and emotionally on edge. I just shake with anger every time she tries to deny ever saying or doing something shitty. And fuck HR for continuing to defend her despite the numerous complaints piled against her. Smiles to your face while making a rude and passive comment in front of everyone kind of cunt. The worst part is that because of Covid and living in a rural area, finding a new decent paying job is impossible. Staying here is the only way I can afford to live in this shit country that’s already hell bent on tearing itself apart
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I don't feel held by him
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Where is my Pelee(stop avatarfagging)
Gay-ass movie where a bunch of scrotes and handmaidens killed a woman for being freaked out at ritual suicide and trying to go home.
Stop posting this shit before I bonk you.
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Sorry for the extremely long text, I'm so pissed off at my boyfriend and I can't afford therapy. He agreed to take me to this city that was an hour away from my house to let me take my tests (I dropped out so it's a high school equivalency) at this adult testing center and I really appreciated it because it usually takes an hour or two to finish. I didn't expect him to stay there for that long and that he would have found something to do but I finished in an hour and a half and went out to find his car.. he was not there. Okay, that's cool, I'll just call my own phone because HE HAS MY PHONE AND WALLET. I go up to the receptionist and they let me use their phone, I call probably about 50 thousand times and it just goes to voice mail or just beeps repeatedly.
FUCKING GREAT! I'm stuck in a random sketchy part of this city and I look crazy to everybody while I go out in every single part of the parking lot and examine each of the cars to see if maybe one of them was his. I repeat this process over and over and I'm so scared at this point because he has all my shit, including my wallet with my social security card in it for identification because I can't bring in my own items for the test, and I can't call my mom because she would be LIVID. I just went into the bathroom and cried my eyes out but of course that's when he calls the phone back and tells them he'll be there in about ten minutes. I wait on the couch looking insane and probably smell because I've been sweating like crazy for an HOUR before he walks in. I'm so upset I can't even look at him because I know if I do I'll just cry, but I lie and say it's okay because I don't want to make a scene.
The best part is he was literally hanging out with his ex FWB and her mom at their house that was 40 minutes away.. OKAY! She's one of his only real life friends and he always insists that he wasn't really attracted to her and that it was purely for sex but I never felt right about it, even while hanging out. They act just like friends and aren't sexual from what I've seen but who fucking knows, I could just be pulling shit out of my ass to make me feel better. He took me out to this nice restaurant after to make it up to me but I looked and felt like shit and I accidentally spent 30 dollars on gas for him (I wasn't paying attention and I was only aiming for like 10 dollars or something).
I want to fucking choke him out so bad. Reading through all of this just makes me so angry again and I brushed it off because I'm so scared of being alone, we were supposed to go to a sanctuary and look around afterwards but because he was late we couldn't. I was really looking forward to it and all I got was shitty flirting on the way back to my house. I'm so tired. Fuck men.
Midsommar >>>> Hereditary
IDC if a movie by scrote is "feminist" or not, it was just a great picture and a well told story. The fact that it's relatable to many women is a nice bonus.
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>>789695>retarded women who choose shitty men
Amazing how one can get away with misogyny and victim
blaming on a female imageboard by putting "straight" before "women".
>>789691>be Dani>lose your entire family>cling to garbage scrote and his other scrote friends who don't care about you, harming yourself more>later cling onto another garbage scrote in a cult (who are meant to be Nazis if you actually read the original script and interviews with the director) who happily kill innocent people, including vulnerable women like yourself>"Wow this is so relatable, god I wish that were me"
A self-drag. Basically wishing for vengeance to be taken by circumstances beyond your control (so you can remain an innocent victim
and never have to reckon with your own justified rage) instead of either being strong enough to take it by yourself, or abandon those who don't hold you. It's extra depressing because none of the people in the film truly cared about her, just her use in their group. Pelle didn't have his shitty fellow moids killed for her sake, it was just a happy fucking accident that she happened to be miserable and eligible for membership, and we don't know when/if she'll be on the chopping block because she's infertile or her zodiac is wrong or her period came on the wrong day or she didn't want to have a sacred orgy with the village inbred and all the old men or whatever the fuck. Hereditary is better IMO because it doesn't try to be ~*a woman's fairy tale*~ or whatever (while directed by a man lmao). It's just a dark story about how family and trauma can affect people for generations.
I'm really starting to feel like being in shitty relationships, languishing in the despair of it all, and then never doing anything about it is just culture for a very specific subset of straight people.
There's a weird martyrdom to being in a bad relationship that some seem to get addicted to. It's twisted.
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she seemed pretty happy about it, but go off. the movie makes a lot more sense if you go into it believing that women have agency.
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Did you like…miss the entire shot of her having a meltdown? Did you not read the script basically confirming she lost her mind (not that she became the supervillain girlboss that you seem to want so bad)?
She was half-coherent and on drugs the whole time, and that's way easier than accepting that he was an awful person who mistreated her, and taking action to help herself (even if that meant hurting him or being cruel). She literally gave up all the agency she had left by the end of the film, I don't know if you were paying attention.
lol you can't be serious with this, she looks "happy" because her mind has literally been broken after being put through hell and drugged up
and no, people in a cult don't have agency despite the illusion of choice >>789732
, she was guided towards choosing christian, and there was no choice for her to go home and not kill anybody
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God I feel so stretched thin lately.
Work has been stressful, it's been two months nonstop of preparing for internal and external audits in the office. Of course, no work was done for this until I got hired. Every lapse is being blamed on me (or people are salty at me that they need to help because I can't print, organize, and file thousands of documents alone and they're the ones who let it get this bad), and I'm busy every moment of the day with projects and meetings. No one seems to give a fuck, they just expect me to magically get it all done somehow. One project is particularly frustrating because I have to watch a boomer in a zoom call all day as he fumbles and bumbles around on the computer filling out documents. I'm required to babysit him doing this because he's constantly making mistakes and being slow. I have to correct him repeatedly, I'm required to do this. It's like training a toddler and I'm anxious because there's other shit to be done. THANKFULLY this is almost over.
During my work lunch today I had to drive out (20 mins one way) to pick up a friend's birthday cake for tomorrow. I was volunteered for this task for the second time in a row by my friend group. I was nice and bought her her favorite dessert cookies as extra. It was very expensive, no one gave me money for it as usual. They all say to meet up at their house (yay more driving for me..) and think hosting and buying/reusing cheap $20 Amazon decorations is enough of a contribution I guess. For each friend's birthday, I've spent $110+ every time but I digress. I had no choice because I work late tonight (the bakery will close) and tomorrow morning I wanted to get my nails done and not be in a hurry because I fucking hate being stressed and rushed about this shit. So I pick up the cake and notice it doesn't have friend's favorite fruit on it. I call my fiance (who requested three days off) to please go get the fruit. Well fuck me, he pushed back on me about it. "Why don't you get it?" Because my hands were full getting the cake and I didn't have time to stand in a grocery store line because I have to go straight back to work, no breaks for me. "But we can get it tomorrow morning." No we are not going to do that. I want to do something for me with one of my only two days off. I am not skipping taking care of myself and rushing because you don't want to do this today. "But I'm doing laundry and even started the kitchen chores." And I finally had to say fine I'll do it my fucking self before he said "Alright I'll do it." Damn fucking right you will! It takes me 40+ minutes to drive home in rush hour traffic, were you really going to force me to stop at the store when you have fuck all to do today? The store is 3 minutes up the road. Get off your lazy ass!
On top of that, I feel like my friend group doesn't really give a fuck about me anymore and I'm just convenient because I'll do something nice for them and contribute to their endeavors that cost money. I don't have a crystal ball but I predict my milestone birthday isn't going to have as much thought put in as I did for theirs, and I really hope I'm wrong about that.
Speaking of lazy ass, the past few weeks have been a blur for me because all I do is stress at work, come home to cook/clean, and then sleep. My stepdad rents with me and he's a lazy fuck who treats me and fiance like his personal slave labor. He never vacuums the living room despite hogging it all the time, never cleans his dishes, never empties the dishwasher, never sweeps, glugs down all the milk, and never takes out the trash. He's dead weight. Yes, my fiance helps me somewhat but men aren't great at chores IMO and I'm always stuck cleaning something. It wouldn't be bad if it were just my fiance, but my stepdad desperately needs to drop dead. He's has dishes festering in the sink since Tuesday, and aside from cleaning out one pot I wanted to use I refuse to do the rest. He can't be assed to put the regular dishware into the dishwasher even.
I'm so fucking tired like jfc. My eye has been twitching nonstop for the past two days.
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I hate how my dad literally told each and one of his friends that I'm mentally ill,that I'm different that I'm not normal.that's our business,that's also very personal yet he had the audacity to tell them all.I mean I don't fucking talk to them why should they care about that anyway?it doesn't help how everyone in the neighborhood (this all occured in my dad's homeland,a third world country)I know they all see me as a lonely antisocial freak who stands out like a sore thumb,why I even bothered living there in the first place is beyond me (never made any friends or long lasting connections) mainly due to culture differences.the enjoyable experiences I had there were short anyway.it sucks how people immediately know your not mentally adjusted just by looking at you and your behavior,then again they're waaayy behind mental health care to begin with.they hate and will discriminate people who don't fit the norm.
sage for whiny venting. i live with my grandma, and last summer i was diagnosed with prediabetes at the age of fucking 20. i was overweight, bordering on obese. since then i have managed to lose over 15kg, im now well into the healthy bmi range and my prediabetes has been completely resolved. im scared that im going to just gain all the weight back and go back to being prediabetic though, which is bad because it doesnt take long for prediabets to become type 2 diabetes. i could be having legs amputated by my 40s which is a terrifying thought. im mainly worried because my grandma seems obsessed with feeding me. for example, i brought myself one of those single serving oreo packets from my own money one time as a treat. my grandma saw the oreo packet in the bin, and went out and brought an entire giant grocery bag full of family sized oreo packets "to save money". shes now mad that i havent eaten any of it. and its not only oreos, its all sweet/salty snacks that i used to eat. she somehow managed to buy an entire box of chocolate bars. and shes always guilting me by staying stuff like "uwu why wont you eat any of the food i buy, i guess the food i buy isnt good enough for you". and this is pretty much a daily occurence. ive even tried to have other family members try to talk to her about this too, because she just wont listen to me, but shes always so defensive and says that her buying enough oreos to feed a small village is the same as me buying myself a single serving packet one time. i also feel bad shitting on her for this since she was kind enough to let me live with her and feeding people is like her love language lol. also i have no clue where the fuck shes buying all this crap either because chocolate bars and oreos are not exactly cheap where i live. but i think shes taken it too far and the fact that theres all that sugary fatty food just sitting around for me to eat is always at the back of my mind and its so tempting. i feel like im one emotional hiccup away from eating myself back into being prediabetic. also, she never actually eats any of this stuff herself, and has even admitted to hating oreos in the past so shes not buying them to eat herself.
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scrolling through tiktok (yes bully me I was really bored) and came across a joke video made by a pretty woman who was deliberately trying to make herself ugly as a joke but the comments were just complimenting on how pretty she was regardless and it reignited those juvenile feelings of being and feeling ugly.
you're the one with no reading comprehension if you can't see how >>789743
directly contradicts the script. the screenplay says Dani is "finally free" which is the polar opposite of having no agency, you illiterate fuck.(infighting)
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>>789917>he’s so sweet>his favourite is xxxtentacion
anon…..>I have no idea what hes talking about
You should take the liberty of finding out sooner than later. If he likes any guy with a name sounding like “tekashi” “teriyaki” or “six nine” you should consider breaking up before it gets serious tbh.
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I’m so exhausted with myself. My boyfriend just threatened to break up with me because I get upset when he doesn’t want to hang out, which I do, to an extreme and it is understandable on his end. But instead of being calm and mature and normal I cry my eyes out because I get terrified I’ll lose him (this happens with anyone I’m close to, which is rare because I’m a autist and if you look in autism patterns in girls they usually have one close person they cling onto for social interaction and struggle without them) so, I’m crying and pleading with him that I will try to be better and please don’t leave me, and he starts laughing? which pushes me into full hyperventilation retard territory and I am fully rocking from the shaking and struggling to breathe and repeating like a madman don’t laugh at me please. It set me off because I was quite badly bullied as a kid and well, him laughing at me in that situation set me off. Eventually I calm down, we talk things out and he tells me he only laughed because he couldn’t help how happy he was because ‘I was cute like a puppy he had rescued’. I just don’t know what to do or to think man.
Sounds like you have an anxious attachment style and that must be really hard for you. Just wondering, why are you dating a guy who threatens to break up because you feel rejected, laughs when you're having a meltdown, makes you beg for his attention, and then calls you a dog ? You deserve better than that. Please don't make excuses for him (e.g. "I'm too needy, annoying, clingy, irrational, and nobody else could love me, etc.") because that doesn't excuse his blatant disregard for your distress. If he really cared for you and the consequences of his actions, he would wait until you were both calm and stable to discuss breaking up. Instead he sprung it on you when you were already freaking out to torment and control you. You already know that this whole situation is wrong. I hope you can get out of this relationship before it gets any worse.
At first he sounds like a prick and borderline abusive
/manipulative if he actually threatened to breakup. But that last comment.>‘I was cute like a puppy he had rescued'
That's just kind of sociopathic to be honest. As in literally no empathy. I'm not sure how someone could look at their partner sobbing and laugh in their face and feel so patronizing towards them.
How much is he aware of you being autistic and how you react to being upset with tears? Is this something you've talked about? If so, he's being incredibly callous and knew better to wait for you to calm down but decided against it. Not to say it's his responsibility to regulate your emotions but what he did obviously made it worse. Like other anon says, you definitely have an anxious attachment style. It is very well possible that you are
too clingy but that doesn't justify his reaction in the slightest. I hope you both get therapy. And I don't mean that in a mean way, therapy is just so valuable and could save your relationship.
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>move in a house where 2 guys already live because rent is cheap
>literally the most coddled and spoiled guys i have ever met in my life
>one of the guys living there owns the house, which he got from his parents and works in his best friend's company
>i get into an argument with the other guy who's renting a room because i asked him to not yell in the middle of the night while gaming
>he got extremely upset almost started crying when i told him this irl (he's a spoiled only child so i guess no one has ever told him to not do something)
>we haven't spoken since 2020 & he avoids me like crazy after this "confrontation"
>the guy who owns the house hosts parties during the pandemic and his guests repeatedly come into my room in the middle of the night
>his gf at the time randomly moves my things, still don't understand why
>about 1 month ago he hosts a party from sunday evening and into the middle of the night
>i've asked him to notify me before hosting parties because i work full time, both weekends and weekdays, and also study full time
>has not notified me and his friends are extremely loud (not to mention, we are in a pandemic smh)
>i text him at like 1 am and ask if they can quiet down as i have to work for 13 hours on monday and get up at 5am
>he's like 'yes' but they only get louder
>i go downstairs and confront them, he's just quiet while his friends are very mean to me
>i start crying and go to my room because i'm overworked and sleep deprived
so a couple of weeks later i see the guy who owns the house as i'm walking to the bus stop and he just says 'hi'. i ask 'are you just gonna pretend like you and your friends weren't extremely disrespectful towards me?' he looks dumb af and says 'i'm not pretending' so i say 'if that was the case you would have apologised' and continue walking to the bus stop. both of my housemates keep avoiding me for a couple of weeks (these are 30 yo men).
and guess what anons! today the guy who owns the house sent me an email notifying me about ending my lease and telling me that i have three months to move out. this bitch didn't even have the balls to tell me irl smh. i'm too busy and tired to even be upset, i'm just very irritated and stressed. my family lives in a different country and all of my friends live far away so i can't like, crash at anyone's place for a while.
i have issues expressing anger and get really cold and mean instead. i want to point out this man's flaws so badly and really upset him. my friend said this would be bullying tho, but idk if i can hold myself back and not be mean the next time i see him irl.
I don’t know. I do have a feeling that well, he’s not good for me. After all he stopped me from speaking to all my friends but one, stopped me from using social media and has me show him I’m not going against this. But at the same time I feel sort of, safe, in that he’s so obsessive because then I feel like he won’t leave me. I also don’t have the energy anymore to speak to others and make new relationships I’ll be honest. He does threaten breaking up a lot but I do feel as if he wouldn’t actually. Today it did feel different though. Ugh. I know it’s fucked up, I really do. Part of me wants to be free from it and forget and have my life back but I don’t feel as if I’m strong enough to leave him. Ultimately, I’m weak and hugely dependant and all I want is to be loved and have a family. He has always told me we would, that that’s what he wants and he only wants me in the world and then I feel special. He actually well, stalked me in a way, before we met. Not badly just, saw me online and kept up with me for a couple months until he approached me and we started dating. I ended up living with him, and moved in when I was 17 because that is legal where I live and my own home was, well a very estranged relationship with my family. I’m 18 and I’m still in school, he’s 20 and works and provides for me, so I don’t really know how I could leave him
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Hate websites like this. Neurodiverse people develop narc beliefs that they’re the supreme messiah aliens that everyone must embrace because they don’t fit into society and they have the ability to think rationally like a reddit fedora tipper. Human beings are a socially wired species and autistic people lack a hugely important facet that is required to live a healthy, sustainable life. There is nothing you can do about this, in fact I’m so tired of hearing that we need to rearrange society because of this minuscule thing, it’s just the way that we socialize with each other is becoming a detriment and a weapon. Being a healthy, adjustable human being is prime and sick of anarchists wanting some dirty, grimey society. Even in matriarchal societies there is peace, order, balance. Wish we did more genetic testing jfc
I hope you're right nonny>>789996
I feel like i was too much of a prude at the beginning of the relationship. He said he didn't consider it cheating because we weren't formally exclusive, like, we hadn't had a serious talk, and that she was "just some hole". I don't know if he was only disrespectful thinking it would make me feel better, he also gave me worship-y compliments though, which further makes me think he has me on some pedestal and sees other certain type of women as dirty.
>>790001>He said he didn't consider it cheating because we weren't formally exclusive, like, we hadn't had a serious talk,
Wait, so he cheated on you too… Come on.>she was "just some hole".
Yeah, what the fuck anon. At least for the future you now know to cut out anyone who talks negatively about women, since apparently the cheating was a huge fucking red flag lmao.
anon, you cannot win. i'm on the opposite side of the spectrum. i'm mixed race and live in a country where almost everyone's white. because i look "exotic" and am somewhat curvy men have been fetishising me like crazy ever since i hit puberty. it's not even about how i dress or how i act, it's about my perceived ethnicity and stereotypes associated to it.
idek if it's just the madonna/whore complex, i think most men these days have been ruined by consuming porn.
This whole relationship sounds really stressful, with lots of ups and downs. You must use a lot of energy just keeping up with it. It's even harder because you're isolated from friends and family. I know what it's like to be tired and complacent so I understand being nervous about leaving. All I can really tell you is that once you have realised that this isn't good for you, the thought will never ever go away. On top of that he's going to treat you worse and worse until the things you liked about him have vanished completely. You're right that his threats don't mean he will leave you. First he'll suck you dry of all your resources and energy until you're nearly dead, and then
In the end, you make this decision for yourself. I suggest doing research into abusive
relationships: warning signs of escalation, red flags, how to set boundaries, how to escape, etc. Even if you decide to stay, it's always good to have more knowledge on your side. Knowledge is power. You are autistic and traumatised and have been through a lot, but that doesn't mesn youre powerless or without resources. There is always
someone who can help you. And there is a life outside of your relationship him, a happy future where you don't have to cry and beg to be loved. I'll be thinking of you nonita. I hope that you will find some peace.
>>790011>And there is a life outside of your relationship him, a happy future where you don't have to cry and beg to be loved.
Not that anon, but I needed to read this
I just want someone to love me like I love them. I'm hurting so bad. I was prescribed xanax today because of how much anxiety I have.
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Literally how are you supposed to compete when girls like this exist?
>>790028>he ended up pinching my cheeks twice
what in the fuck
Reminds me of my story of trying to get my laptop fixed just to end up having the repair guy try to aggresively flirt with me over (way to many for anyones comfort) texts.
Block his number and burn his shop, you have my blessing anon.
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In the middle of our lectures you literally can't even remember what you're trying to say or do…you can't recall why you set something up the way it's set up, and that's understandable (I guess!) because the thing we're studying is obscure and difficult as hell. But fucker, I don't get why you expect US to easily know things you don't even know when they're right in front of you for our exams. It's so retarded to me.
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i'm a total bitch lmao so feel free to call me out but i get so tired of hearing people act like their lives are capital o Over when their partner breaks up with them…when they've got so much other stuff going on.
like yeah, dude, you're doing well in school, have plenty of $$$ in the bank thanks to mommy and daddy, got plenty of actual friends to talk to and hang with, but some fuck-boy who looks no different from the other hundreds of fuck-boys at uni not fucking you anymore is apocalyptic. shut up please
Get yourself a Satisfyer.
I was never able to cum from masturbation using my hands (arms are too short lol) and this thing changed my life.
I honestly think they are basically the same just different name and distributor
I also got the pro version and honestly? One of the gifts from my Ex that I will definitely hold on to!
Prozac killed my libido, which was already low to begin with. There was a period of time where stopped taking it and it went back to normal. I'm back on it now but i really wanna try wellbutrin. (like anon >>790161
Two of my friends are on it and apparently it spikes your sex drive…
until then, it's a choice of being somewhat mentally stable or being able to have sex again.
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I wish I could cry right now. Feels like I need to but I can't
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I literally can not stop getting blackpilled every time I look at the news. I want to quit being a woman and commit suicide. Mothers didn’t leave third world countries to still see acid attacks happen to their daughters. Imagine you’re on your way to become a doctor but then you got maimed by a scrote, you will live like this for the rest of your life.
Yeah I heard about this, the situation is worse in Europe though
girls getting beaten, killed, raped and well Acid attacked by often their onw family members
Islam is a literal cancer and I'm tired of liberals even pretending that belongs in the modern age
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I posted already a few times about my friend and her stupid ass moid and they finally broke up, my wishes and prayers have been heard. They decided to keep staying friends though, and now he's passive-aggressively vague posting about their problems on social media. He didn't say anything explicitly, but with her having talked to me about their reasons for breaking up, it's not hard to fill in the gaps on about which problem exactly he is talking about. He just keeps putting himself in the victim position and goes on and on about her not trying harder, as if she didn't already go with this morons shitty plans in situations where you can't just go half-way through, where you either do it completely or you don't. It's taking all my strength to not go and rip his head off, so now my hopes and prayers have shifted from them breaking up to their friendship fizzling out and us never having anything to do with him again.
I hate men who are unnecessarily loud. Loud voices in general, but men who raise their voice immediately makes my blood boil.
I was out getting groceries today. I had returned some bottles lying around in my home and accidentaly dropped the receipt outside the store. I didn't notice before I was inside the store. A man in his late 40s or so starts shouting "hello" at the top of his lungs, so without knowing he was calling out to me yet, I just continued walking to avoid what I first thought to be a deranged moron. The shouting continues and he catches up to me, telling me that the receipt fell out of my pocket. There wasn't much I could do at that point since we were already past the barriers and would have to walk through the entire store anyway to pick it up. I told him I would get it and continued walking.
The man starts shouting "hello!?" at me again and follows me. He proceeds to explain how bottle returns work, and how I should go get it before someone "steals" my money. It was just a few bottles and I honestly didn't care at that point. I told him I would pick it up if it was still there when I was done shopping, but that it really wasn't that important to me. He gave me an angry look and left. The receipt was gone, of course, when I came back out.
I probably wouldn't have been so dismissive of him if he had just calmly informed me instead of shouting and explaining like I don't know how bottle returns work. The moment I hear a man being loud in public, my instinct is to avoid them, so I got really mad when he decided to make a big deal out of something so trivial.
What a stupid cunt. He just wanted an excuse to sanctimoniously bellow at a woman in public.
I once had to tie my dog outside a supermarket, and I did so and made sure she was in full view of the cameras in case someone tried to steal her. She was quite near the entrance but not in the way. She also loved people and would try to get their attention when possible. When I came back outside some fat old man was stood next to her loudly saying “you’re completely cruel for putting your dog there, she doesn’t know where to turn, she’s scared of all the people. It’s animal abuse” I tried to explain about the camera and he just interrupted because it didn’t fit his narrative that I’m a horrible dog abuser. He suggested a different place to tie her lead that was far away and hidden from the camera and nobody would of seen her being stolen. Whole time he was speaking as loudly as possible so everyone could hear what a fucking hero he was, yet if I was a tall man instead of a young woman he wouldn’t of said a peep. Coward.
Growing up I’ve always heard it around me as : it’s natural to find sexually matured women/men attractive regardless of their age. Of course I’ve only ever heard it applied to women, but It would work the same for men and actually think it makes sense, some times teens do mature physically very quickly and you can’t really tell how old someone is. It’s still gross to pursue something with a teen, and that shouldn’t be encouraged but at least the attraction part made logical sense.
Yet when I grew up what me and my friends experienced IRL is that looking like a preteen gets you way more attention than looking grown up. And in the Internet I saw all these bullshit justifications that being attracted to teens because they are teens is natural, which makes NO sense at all unless you’re a pedo and a predator.
My conclusion now is that gross pedos are everywhere and should be shamed to hell and back.
That sounds like a nightmare. It was brave of you to attempt to explain to him, though. I just try to get away as soon as possible because I know whatever I say is going to be used against me. I've worked in customer service enough to know that men who need to be right will take everything you say and throw it in the garbage just to make themselves feel good.
The fact that he was waiting outside to confront you about it proves he didn't care about the dog at all, he just wanted to yell at you. If he was that concerned about your dog being abused he would have gotten someone involved, but no, he just wanted to make himself feel good.
>>790246>The moment I hear a man being loud in public, my instinct is to avoid them,
It's awful when men think they're charming when they're loud and invasive, and then play the disappointed and offended role after being totally pushed away. It's straight up scary sometimes, mostly annoying and kills my vibe. I've never been rude to a man who comes up to me politely to ask me a question, but I'll sure as hell respond negatively to someone making a ruckus for no reason.
sry for blog, but big relate
My YouTube channel was terminated for calling despicable males in the comments section expendable scrotes and unwashed male scrotal sacks, and I told one in particular he should've been an aboytion and that his mother should be refunded for the expenditure of genetic material she wasted on creating him because the thing, or whatever he is, turned out to be defective and a disappointment. Also told another one to chug on clorox. Apparently that's sufficient reason for a YouTube account of 4 years to be terminated with immediate effect despite not producing video content. And given that YouTube's AI/ bot allowed these comments to be successfully posted, they were deemed acceptable for the community that they weren't deleted/ censored. So each scrote who seen these comments couldn't take it and was such a snowflake, they mass flagged my comments and/ or channel.
Meanwhile YouTube allows sex bots, sexually explicit app advertisements, child predators/ pedophiles, channels dedicated to misogyny/ hate speech and harassing women, gore, doxxing and porn.
So nonnies how do I make a new YouTube account that won't be recognised and deleted? Delete cookies, vpn and new gmail account not linked to the old one? I plan to leave youtube and will be moving to other platforms to watch content, but there were videos on youtube from channels I won't find elsewhere so I want to save those vids. Will create one account for watching and a seperate one for attacking deserving scrotes.
Deleted a whole load of google apps from my phone and greatly limited my use of google search engine and browser.
Oh and yeah, fuck scrotes, fuck YouTube.
Kek I just looked up all the girls in a group of friends I had for a little while in college, who where all rancid bitches: would say evil things about each other behind their backs, would bully this one girl in the group even though she bent over backwards for them, had nothing nice to say about any female unless she was sat right there in front of them, hung around with a bunch of nasty, deviant scrotes and didn’t care about their shitty behaviour despite claiming to be feminists, eventually ostracised me for wrongthink and went on a smear campaign calling me homophobic and racist over some petty bullshit….one of them even borderline abused her little sister, bullied her, smacked her in front of us and then told us all graphic details about her sex life….said nasty and bitchy things about her own baby sis…These where the most horrible, negative group of women I’ve ever met in my life. Guess what? They all have either she/her or she/they in their bios, bc they’re soooo fucking woke of course and wouldn’t want to trigger le precious trans women that they don’t even know, yet are horrible and judgemental to all their own friends and family. The one girl in the group that they bullied and made fun of, her dad died recently. I reached out to her and she explained that they stopped talking to her when he was dying in hospital because she was “being negative” and “taking it out on them”…more like exasperated from all the degrading and passive aggressive shit they do to her and their constant demands, because her father is dying….they’re the wokest women you will ever meet though. Black Lives Matter! Lgbtqa+! Trans women are women! Stop Islamaphobia! No integrity, no substance, just fake and evil.
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My grandma died yesterday early morning in a hospital after she was brought into it for 2 days for pneumonia, and even though her condition got much better, she ultimately died suddenly of another health issue related to her heart. The last time I saw her alive was a week ago where I gave her a half-hug and my last sentences to her were kind of awkward and a short phone conversation since we couldn't visit her because of corona.
Now my family is only my mom and my grandpa, who both cry and vent almost non-stop to me, which there is nothing wrong with and a good thing and I'm glad to listen.
But at the same time, I'm so exhausted..
It's selfish, and I would never do that, but.. I wish I could just escape. It's too much, I don't know how I can keep up being the "solid one" for another few months or years. It took me almost an hour today to get out of bed, my body really feels like it weights 100 pounds more.
My grandma was like a second mom to me and she was the only person who was similar to me, listened to and understood me, even when she didn't always agreed, she took the time to get my perspective without judging me, and vise versa too. Both my mom and my grandpa are the polar opposite of me either in personality or in values.
My mom just keeps repeating the same 4 sentences over and over and over again while sobbing hysterically and crying for her 'mommy' like a child, and I know it's because she's just that hurt, but it's starting to annoy me. I know it's awful, I would never tell her that or permit her from sharing her feelings because it's good for her grieving. But I feel so overwhelmed. I wish I could talk with grandma about it.
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Why does it take so long to see any progress on the scale when you're dieting/exercising consistently? I know harsher workouts and sore muscles make you retain water but it can be so demotivating to step on the scale in the morning and see 0 progress/even an increase in number when you just KNOW you're losing fat.
Is you know you're losing, why do you need the numbers? I have an unhealthy relationship with the scale so I judge weight loss by how my clothes fit, and once a month I use the scale at the gym that shows my muscle mass and body fat %. I'm at the stage of my weight loss where I'm maintaining my overall weight because I'm gaining muscle, maybe that's you too?
Also, general weight loss and health tip: you're probably not eating enough fibre. I find this helps so much with my food choices and motivation if I have enough fibre from various sources.
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DAE have bouts of depression where you're entirely unmotivated to do anything, feel unloved by everyone around you, and are hurt by the smallest comments, followed by equally long chipper moods where you're hyperproductive, in love with life, and connecting with people? Now my good moods are marred by the knowledge that I'll inevitably slip into depression again with nothing to stop it. I know the usual advice is to switch up my routine, but there's little I can do, especially living in a country where the pandemic is still keeping everything closed/everyone inside. My therapist has gently suggested antidepressants, but as an option to explore with a psychiatrist (she's not licensed to prescribe meds), and I get this "impostor's syndrome" where I feel like I wouldn't qualify for such a drastic measure just yet.
That's comforting to hear, thank you nonny
! Hope you make it out of there, yourself!
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I think I may have killed both of my snails. I just got them. I genuinely don't know what to do right now
Anon I’m so sorry, please take care/contact someone close to you that can, at the very least, be there physically
Hang in there, even just for a bit more
I think I just won't go to work today and tomorrow at all, it's giving me a lot of anxiety
Basically I got dumped by my boyfriend for being too depressed haahhaha I'm like hahaha well idk what to do now. Guess I'll die
I'm sorry, I'm one of the few suicidal anons. I've been suicidal forever, since I was 13, and it's hard not to be when something goes very wrong. I have no one to talk about these things because I'm a burden. All I can do is vent here. When I say I have no friends, family or partner to talk about my depression to I mean it. It's tiring to be like this.
I can't trust anyone because trusting them with my depressed thoughts is just going to make them depressed and anxious. It happened. I was dumped out for this just some days ago. He said I could trust him but then he said he never loved me because I'm depressed and compared me to his sister's ex gf who also is depressed and now I don't know what to do. He said the ex of his sister is happy in another relationship now. Idk I loved him a lot. But for him I was nothing but a maybe. I just don't want to be a burden to anyone anymore, I have no one to rely on anymore.
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I'm watching the OG higurashi because I have nothing left in my life and I love hanyuu and rika so much. I wish I had a hanyuu following me and telling me everything will be okay and to defy fate. Hauuhauu
I actually had mental problems like this in secondary school. I used to hear voices but those voices were mean to me. I don't believe in DID or anything like that, it was probs just my anxiety. But if I could I would love to have a nice voice in my head telling me I can do anything I want in life. Yes I sound insane sorry.
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>meet girl who is very similar to me
>we talk every single day
>be 18 and lose contact with everyone i know for suicidal thoughts
>be 19 and no word for her
>be 20 meet up with her again finally
>she said she cut contact because i did first. but that she wanted to be back in my life.
>my ex hated me having friends, also why i cut contact with people
>she said my ex gf (who was sort of friends) told her i hated her. my friend was talking to my ex gf and not to me, cause my ex gf told her i didnt i cut contact cause i didnt like her and complain about her all the time
>she fucking lied
>my friend tried multiple times telling my ex gf to talk to me because she wanted to fix things
>ex gf said i always said no. but i had absolutely no idea this was happening. and it was stupid of me not reaching out to her. but i also thought we were in bad terms for some reason.
>finally do talk again
>she thought i hated her and i thought he hated me
>but actually we loved each other very much
>we talk every single day like we used to
>i had a thing with a man who was horrible to me
>i had a huge fight with her over him
>accused her of things werent true, it was a misunderstanding
>i cut contact again over THE SAME FUCKING STUPID GUY
>i come back
>she doesnt respond
>tried reaching out like 3 or 4 times in 2021
>constantly feel like shit for putting a stupid scrote over my friend
>tried one last time to send her a text, thinking i will be ignored again
>i apologize so much
>she actually listens. says she wanted to send me a message too since a few days before
>we become friends again
>we talk every single day
>have with friend i love
this year ive cried many times thinking of how much i fucked up. i missed her terribly. i will never let a scrote get over any of my friends again. there are scrotes anywhere. besties are hard to find.
That's bipolar kek
T. Another bipochan
Anon I bet I speak for a lot of people here when I say "you are loved" and your existence is a gift. Even if you may not feel that way. But damn I sure do! You are deserving of love so don't forget:
I love you Anon.
And I truly hope you will find a reason to smile today.
(Try saying the word Bubble pr Bubbly aggressively- I truly think it's impossible and it always makes me laugh in the end)
So yeah~ YOU GO ANON! YOU GOT THIS! WE LOVE YOU!
You use this site which means you're a sexy beast and for that I love you nonny
FUCK YEAH YOU MANAGE!
If you can't find a reason to be hopeful for the future, just stick around a little longer to see what happens. If hope for better days doesn't seem to work, try curiosity.
There are a lot of shooting stars happening at the moment all around the world, stick around and watch the stars fall down.
I don't know you but having lost close ones to hanging, I mean it when I say I'm glad you're still around. I really mean it.
Because maybe we don't know her personally, but in the moment we genuinely feel that way.
I want her to feel loved and damn it if nobody else is there to say it I sure as hell am!
So heck yeah I genuinely mean it when I say "I love you Anon"
tbh i feel that thread has devolved into shitposting from people who want attention
which is upsetting because i liked genuinely posting in there
But like not in the good way.
More in a he can fuck right off way
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It has been years since the last time I read fantasy book. When I have free time and energy to read anything, I always feel like I need to study or just read something "useful". No more. I already downloaded entire Wheel of Time series on pdf, and once this nightmare of a semester is over, I am going back into the land of sword and sorcery.
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I was watching some Crash Bandicoot video and in the new game they changed how this character looks because it's a different universe's version of her, and all the comments are just 50% she's SO THICC and 50% waaahhhh they made her a sjw with blue hair disgusting.
First of all shut up she is a mutated animal and she kicks ass and saves everyone and the only thing you can say oh boy is she thick. And second of all she is totally wearing an 80s inspired outfit! She has spiky hair with highlights to complete the look, not because she is a sjw. I guess I will forgive them because it's probably kids commenting anyway. I hope so
What do you use nonnie
instead of youtube, what would you recommend?
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>out with friends and my bf and their bfs
>friends all take group selfie while I was busy doing something
>their behavior seems to really exclude me
>feel like shit the rest of the night
>a-at least I have bf
I just need new friends but it feels impossible. This group I've been friends with for several years that I made during my mid 20s, but it's clear that they're kinda drifting away. They do things for each other and see each other, and I'm just the friend they invite to outings that happen every few months. Also based on their backhanded negging, they think they look better than me and don't want me in their pictures. I never feel good about myself when I hang around them and I feel it's a sign.
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I am about 5'5 and just checked my weight…125 pounds. I've been binge eating so much the past few months. No wonder I weigh so much. I want to lose 10 pounds but I keep on binge eating due to stress from my family and the stupid dog we have. I hate my fucking life so much and I want to kill myself. I wish I had the courage to overdose on the Xanax and painkillers I have. I'm heading towards obesity.
I guess what I’ve done is minimize that friendship, so what if they were shit? We didn’t know better back then and we probably thought we deserved having such a friendship before, but now we have to take care of ourselves and do our best in life.
That means being able to recognize people like that friend we had before and to keep such people at an arm holding a prosthetic arm’s length, which means never ever giving a shit ex-friend even the slightest opportunity to talk to us.
Block them everywhere and if they look for you, even irl, disregard their existence, they don’t deserve you because you’re not mentally ill like their ugly, toxic
At least that’s what has kept me completely fine about shit friends.
reach out while you still can. I lost one of my best friends to an overdose. I hadn't spoken to her for almost 2 years when she died. we had an explosive argument and one of the last things I said to her was "good luck with sobriety" in a sarcastic bitchy way because I knew she was struggling with addiction. she said a lot of extremely hurtful things to me too. my biggest regret in life is that I cut her out completely and did not even attempt to make amends. after she died, her boyfriend told me that she would talk about me a lot and cry about how things ended between us. she died thinking that I hated her, and I have to live with that for the rest of my life now.
the fact that you posted here about your friend indicates that you care about her and she is still important to you. it sounds like you have compassion for her. maybe she hasn't reached out to you because she's embarrassed of her actions and thinks that you would not react favourably. I miss my friend so much and I would give anything to let her know that I love her, and to be able to talk to her one last time.
>>791004>she died thinking that I hated her
I'm so sorry anon, please don't blame yourself for this. You had to take care of yourself just as much as she should've been working on her own issues. I understand wishing you had the opportunity to let her know you still cared though, it's a sad situation all around. >>790989
Having had extensive experience with someone suffering from BPD, I would say reach out as well. Her disorder is likely making her assume you never want to hear from her again, especially
if she's been getting better and is keenly aware she fucked up. She probably thinks she's doing you a favor by staying out of your life. The question for you is, do you feel that way too? If you're happier not dealing with the stress of wondering whether she will or won't stab you in the back again then keep your distance, but if you think you'll be able to take it slow to see if she's improved and maintain boundaries so you aren't hurt again, she could very well be in a different place now and feeling the same way as you.
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my books got delivered to the wrong address by dhl so I’m going to cry myself to sleep. I wish I was dead negl.
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Not sure where this belongs, but i sent a nude video of myself to the guy i'm seeing. At worst i expected him to not really like it. Well, it was much worse than that. He became so paranoid that gmail would accidentally detect the video i sent as cp. So i replied with why would you even say that? And he went on to say because i am flat chested and look too young in the video. He went on to say that he knows i'm an adult woman, but he doesn't think AI would think that. Anyways, I felt so hurt from all of this. I'm just a petite woman. I can't help it that puberty did nothing for me other than make me hairy. This is what i get for trying to be sexy FML.
He sounds fucked in the head. Smaller chested (or even totally flat) petite women aren't so insanely rare that it'd require that reaction.
Maybe I'll sound paranoid here but I learnt in the past that when men bring up connections to pedo-shit at times when it makes no sense to make that connection… there's a reason they have CP on the brain
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Can someone save me from this black hole? I'm constantly going back and forth between reading FDS and watching MGTOW/blackpill/incel videos. I feel so mentally drained and hopeless. Are all heterosexual relationships like this? Where can I find normie men who don't care about politics and don't spend time on social media? Everything is so coldly calculated and politically ideologized now. Are FDS women just failed women the same way MGTOW are just failed men? It looks like the normie healthy people find their matches when they're in their 20s and there are only bitter rejects left and they're the ones producing all that content. I'm scared that if I won't find anyone before I hit 30, it's over for me, I can forget about finding someone who's not a fuck up.
God fucking damn it watching and reading all that shit really feels like opening to a demonic attack kek. I'm in my mid 20s and I've never dated anyone and this is my only source of knowledge about modern dating, this and anons complaining about their scrotes here. I'm afraid my brain has been irreversibly damaged and I won't be able to trust anyone now.
Anon for your own good, get off those sites and if you can't the internet in general. People aren't just black and white like those weird ideologies want you to think. All of this is so far removed from reality. People can be and are fulfilled being single in their 20s or sometimes 30s. There is more to life than some obscure world view where if you don't have someone to fuck you're fucked. If you find out who you are and what you want from life, you'll be able to find someone who vibes with you and maybe feels the same way. But if you continue reading and watching stuff like that, you won't be able to even see that.
Turn off the computer Anon.
There is a whole ass world out there with billions of people, each one of them being a completely unique individual with dreams,fears and story.
>>791263 >I'm scared that if I won't find anyone before I hit 30, it's over for me
I got out of a bad relationship at 29, started my 30s feeling energised because I hadn't realised how much that relationship had sucked the life out of me. It had turned sour so slowly that I somehow struggled to see the misery of it all. I thought I was just depressed in myself. I wasn't. I got off meds as soon as we split and I was fine again. My early 30s being single easily topped any point in my twenties.
Being in a bad relationship is infinitely worse than being single. Women don't hear that enough. All we hear is this bs pressure to settle down before a certain age. Don't settle down if it isn't amazing. Sometime amazing can be temporary too and you can still start over with someone else..at any age. People divorce, move on and have blended families. It's not realistic to think most of will settle down in our twenties and have a permanent partner for life. Statistically most people won't experience that.
>>791263>I'm scared that if I won't find anyone before I hit 30, it's over for me, I can forget about finding someone who's not a fuck up.
Have you ever asked yourself who benefits from this mindset? Does this really lead you to a stable partner who respects and understands you, or is this something that one of those reject loser dudes want you to believe so you'll settle?
Being single is an option. Being with a guy who isn't perfect but still checks off the majority of your boxes including the parts where he respects and loves you is also an option. You're not doomed because you're turning 30, anon.
First of all, neither FDS not incels are representative of their respective genders. Stay away from that shit, there is nothing of value to be found there.
>I'm in my mid 20s and I've never dated anyone
I would start here. Why have you never dated anyone? Did you never had interest in anyone, or nobody was interested in you?
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I wish my boyfriend would stop bringing up his weight on camera and encouraging me to take up his bad habits. He has a bad history of ana-chan and binging/purging and I understand that, but since we've become LDR he's gotten worse about it. We saw each other for the first time in six months just recently and I burst into tears about how skinny he got and he was happy about it and saying how he's better now than he's ever been. I on the other hand have only gained weight, and he said it doesnt bother him but then he offers to pay for a gym membership and tells me on my days off he'd happily 'be my trainer' on facetime…and he also reacts very negatively if he catches me eating 'bad food'.
I'm not a pushover, I've called him out multiple times and even reasoned with him about how he's harder on himself than on me, but he refuses to see it as a negative thing. It doesnt help that his career also reinforces his ED and body dysmorphia. For example, he's 6'2 and they told him to lose ten pounds when he was 180 lbs.
Vent over, I could go on but I just needed to tell someone, because if I tell anyone IRL they will react very negatively because a lot of my friends don't like him very much to begin with.
What about hobbies? You could find friend group through that. Join some club or something. Or maybe autism support group. If you live in some area where these do not exist, find similar groups online. Checking them on Discord might be good https://discordservers.com/
As for dating itself, find which dating apps are popular where you live and give them a try. Find a guide on the internet about how to make a good profile. But most importantly be yourself. Communicate your desires clearly, and dont let anyone to pressure you into anything you dont want to do.
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i wish every professor that didn't schedule their assignments to end the week before finals week a very good die. why do i have so many due dates the week of finals why is university so much fucking work. i wanted to spend this week studying shit but i guess i won't have that chance! fucking retards
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When my stomach starts to hurt up to like 9/10 pain I think about jumping out of my window to end it all. It's like a hopeless lovecraftian existential depression switch gets turned on and there is nothing I can do to manage it except wait for the contraction to end. In just those 3 seconds of the pain revving up from 0 to 9 its like I forget why I bother living, loose all love for everyone I know and just want to shoot myself in the face. It hurts so bad, all I can do is cold sweat and focus on a single molecule of myself that isn't in pain. But as soon as the cramp fades away, I'm fine. I'm happy even. My life is back to being great and full of joy and normal. It's just disturbing to think how little it takes for me to give up, it makes me feel so incredibly weak. I see people on youtube that have chronic illness make entire videos with a smile on their face while they suffer through several dislocations or cancer or just even more extreme pain than I can fathom and I feel so weak.
Thank you, anon, I am actually reading that one right now! I have a lot of other trauma unfortunately (I'm not proud to admit it), so books that are about trauma that isn't sexual are also good. >>791562
Thank you, I unfortunately will not go to therapy again.
I'm sorry nonny
, I don't really have any advice, just wanted to say that I relate. I wish it was as simple as painting people all black or white, but even abusers have their good qualities, which is how you get attracted in the first place. My ex isn't right for me and hurt me a lot, but I still want him to have a happy life. As the saying goes, we shouldn't set ourselves on fire to keep others warm. They're adults and they've got to learn to care for themselves rather than pushing their pain onto others.
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I'm a self-hating introvert that does her best to mimic how she thinks extroverts act.
I wish I could be as impulsive and have an easy time talking like the rest of my family and friends. I must give out the weirdest vibes.
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CRYYY I will never have an Edward in my life, I didn’t unlock the hot girl skin outfit in from the life dlc
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I fucking hate tall resident evil lady stans, it was funny for first 5 minutes but it's been weeks and people keep making memes and tweeting how they want her to step on them, I can't take gamer cringe anymore
I just searched for a reporter and found a youtube channel full of videos of female reporters doing their jobs. The kicker? The titles. Their tits! Their ass! Their tight skirt! Their lowcut dress! This video is his most popular upload, the title of this one is "Amy Freeze Brassiere Buster Puts Puppies On Full Display August 12, 2018".
I can't even imagine being male because they see sex in everything. Literally everything.
> An actress? Shit she's hot, has she got leaked nudes or DeepFake videos?
> A politician I disagree with speaking about politics? Whatever, shut up and just let me violate you like the stupid whore you are.
> A reporter reporting on a triple homicide? Mmm those eyes would look pretty looking up at me while she's sucking on my cock!
> A middle-aged, married coworker who did something at work I dislike? We're in a meeting and I'm thinking of face fucking her and pissing on her after she swallows my cum.
> A mom of four at a restaurant? What a milf, I'd fuck her on that table right there and get her knocked up with #5!
> Her daughter? Damn she's pretty cute, her teen pussy would be great for a threesome with her mom!
Anyway, disgusting ik but this is their 24/7 sexual thought process. How can you seriously not sit through a news report without thinking of fucking the anchor? Literally anything we do is sexualized and I'm so fucking sick of it. I've worked as a tutor and a fast food employee and in both of those jobs which are service-based and porn stereotyped I had men flirting with me with the most obvious shit eating grin that told me how at that very moment they were thinking about fucking me in probably the most disgusting way. Still had to smile and act like I didn't know what they were thinking when I damn well did.
Now I don't know about you all but I never think of sex with men as a straight woman unless it's related to women's issues like birth control, pregnancy, or rape which I think about daily as a woman. Even if it's a super hot man I don't see sex in every little thing I do or every man I come into contact with. At most I might be intimidated and look away. But when I see a naked man not having sex I don't really think anything of it. The only way I actually could get aroused is if I see people actually fucking, not staged (as all porn is) so basically…never. I actually go to porn sites to scroll through the trends as a radfem for blogging and I don't even feel aroused in the slightest. I guess I'm a weirdo but I just feel so angry knowing that all men are the polar opposite with literal ape brains controlled by their dick, yet we're still in a fucking patriarchy. How are these cumbrains still controlling everything? They're actually mentally impaired compared to women.
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I'm so sick of wokees on twitter taking any character in existence and making them black. I know it's important to have representation or whatever but since so many characters with slightly darker skin is taken and black-washed I can't scroll through fanart of brown girls and seeing "hurr durr is black!" and it's not even black people majority of the time doing this shit, it's literally "NaTiVe AmErIcAn WhItE pAsSiNG" wokees that pull this stunt, and they don't even make the black-washed characters look black, they look like feces humanized. I just want to see brown girls without them being seen as an obese autistic trans muslim nonbinary lesbian.
does this count as racebaiting? If so hand over the red text you tranny guzzling mods(racebait)
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I agree with you anon and I hate that I'm going to sound like a "slut shamer" (I don't consider her a slut and believe she should be allowed to wear whatever she likes), but the reporter in your video knew exactly what she was doing lol. Even as a bustier woman you can wear a dress similar to that without providing a blatant look at the girls being smashed together. Again - she should be allowed to show cleavage without scrotes saying gross shit. But she clearly likes her boob windows and I don't think anyone male or female can be faulted for looking at/appreciating what she's intentionally showing off. I think there's a difference between saying "she looks hot" versus "what a whore I'd love to pound her" though.
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I've seen it too, it's so obvious which ones are doing it for back pats from their pee oh see friends and not in a genuine way. I dunno how to describe it, like a good example of it done with true care and not forced would be black DBZ characters.
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Most of my life feels like I'm living through a memory and I hate it so much. It's like my brain sees everything blurry and passively recognizes things but I'm still able to react to things. The worst part is that I feel like I'll wake up at any moment but of course nothing happens.
I got tested for epilspsy and disassociation and both results were negative. You can't tell me the average person feels like this.
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A dude whose youtube channel I enjoy for Dragon Age news, theories, memes (aka drama-free fun shit) just got accused of spousal abuse by his ex wife, who in turn is getting accused of being an abuser and cheater herself by mutual friends. Why is nothing safe anymore
How much exercise do you get? How often are you outdoors?
A lot of time when people don't feel "there" or don't feel comfortable in their body, the disconnect is because they neglect the body. Your brain can't be in good form if the rest of your body isn't, it's part of it.
Ignore if you're actually in top physical condition, I just find this aspect is often overlooked. People are not made for the modern sedentary lifestyle and it takes a toll on us.
I work out 4 times per week, mostly weights for an hour + yoga on rest days/weekend. I also walk everywhere since I don't have a car.
Honestly at this point I think it might be due to isolation or just a brain tumor lol
and was told to get a brain MRI (but couldn't go thanks to covid and other stuff) as a, sort of "last resort" since I was told that depression doesn't cause it.
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Seeing so much whiny ssri-chans not taking advantage of their situation. You get free pills and you wield the power to lie about your symptoms to get a higher dose, even more effective! I personally got off it because I really did not find it helping me and I was too afraid to tell my therapist/psychiatrist I might just be a little misdiagnosed. The average human being who doesn’t want to break the law for drugs don’t always get this opportunity to get high off your shits.
anyways I love laying in bed feeling like the stressed out main character
I took to much of my prescription stuff and haven't slept more thab 3 hours in the past 4 days.
(Needed to study for something important)
I feel like this post is calling me out but I'm honestly too numb to rant or talk about.
But yeah there's that
AYRT, re-read my message, i'm saying this wasn't
kek, you're totally not going to believe this but I thought you were say >and not forced, "would-be" dbz characters
I just thought you were using poor grammar. My baaaaad.
To give some credit to that anon, she did
say that she expected that behavior due to her mother's relationship with her father, as well as her relationship with her bf.
I think she was saying that it's conventional, or traditional, for her
family to do things like that.
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It's fucking ridiculous how bad I want a gf
It reminded me of xmas a few years back, I was dating a guy who had shared custody of his son with his ex. He had the kid for xmas that year and he was going to his parents house with the kid and then coming back to spend new years with me. When he picked up the kid he told him he'd had an upset stomach all day.. Fast forward and the guys whole extended family ended up having the worst bug over xmas as the kid obviously brought it there with him. Turns out his mom knew there was a bug in her house but she just sent him off full of symptoms and ready to spread it. How much must you hate your ex to know you're doing that? Nearly 20 people, half kids and some elderly had xmas ruined that year.. Who does that?
Then a few days later they come home to me, I'm nervous about whether the bug has truly passed and sure enough I fuckin catch it and I wasn't right for months after it.
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bitch me too, the fuck
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my husband is genuinely the sweetest and cutest person I know but he has bacne and doesn't want to fix it. It's his only unattractive trait.
I feel like the politics that's around us says it's shallow to care about his bacne if he says it doesn't bother him. But the thing is, it HAS to bother him because he doesn't like taking off his shirt at the beach or wearing a tanktop when we go rock climbing (even though he has a nice physique)
I literally love everything else about him, but i just genuinely believe people should take care of themselves even if it's just for appearances. I especially feel that way with men because the bar is already so damn low for them. It's getting annoying that he won't fix it, and it genuinely grosses me out.
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i'm on my second period of the month and i am so fucking depressed. its my day off and i already took my ADHD meds and drank a redbull but all i've accomplished so far is crying and laying in bed. i have so much shit i need to do. i know its just hormones (probably) but i can't help but lament being gross and useless and i want to Off Myself more than ever on this monday. bro i want off this ride im not remotely hot or a genius or rich or getting good dick so truly what is the point
I could have wrote every part of this, I had the same experience except I sat at my desk doing nothing
I hope it gets better for you soon, stay strong! It's really bullshit that meds work less on our periods
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I hate how the diminutive version of the name Dolores, Lolita, has been ruined by men. It used to be a nickname for many girls. Now it's ruined and appropriated by pedo scums.
That's it. That's the vent. There are bunch of other similar stuff too, but this illustrates the main formula of what kills me inside. Beautiful, worthy, loving and real things being ruined and sullied by people (mostly men) who just don't get it
. I hate the lack of basic dignity. Why does everything have to become so dirty.
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Everytime I think I'm getting better I lose my grip and start slipping back into old habits again. I make promises to myself saying I'll do better next time but it always ends the same way. Why am I the biggest disappointment in my own life?
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Sorry for this really cringy vent but here we go
I met a guy in a discord server. The server is for a uni society. I'm really obsessed with him. I've read all his messages and he's perfect in every way. Found his facebook and he's really cute too. He was part of the societies committee so he was a mod of the server. I ended up joining the committee too since i am pretty active in the server. Anyways, he had an argument with someone else in the server over politics, and the guy he argued with complained to the uni pretty much leading to a huge argument between him and all of the other mods. He got removed from the committee. They were talking a lot of shit behind his back, and I told him everything they were saying. Partly because i didn't think he did anything wrong and he should know what they're saying about him, but also as an excuse to message him. He got pretty mad about it and left the server.
Anyways despite this, I didn't talk to him for a month bc i couldn't bring myself to dm him lol. He started appearing offline all the time. Someone brought him up in the chat and i found out he used whatsapp instead. So i thought fuck it, i found his CV online and his phone number was on it. So i randomly messaged him on there. He didnt seem creeped out and we had a fun convo.
He's taking a year off uni to work so he's in a different city so i cant actually ask him out right now. Fuck, i just wanna be with him in real life. He seems totally uninterested in me (and i don't blame him since we've only spoken over text) but he's the only thing i can think about right now and I feel like a total creep
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I still can't believe my mom compared how I treat her and my dad differently, for a good reason, to how whites and fucking blacks were treated during Jim Crow. Mom me stownwalling you because you freak out over the tiniest thing is nothing like the civil rights movement
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I got into a serious political discussion in a group chat while high KEK I feel kinda embarrassed, can't tell if I fudged it. wish I could delete messages without anybody noticing but it'd be obvious. At least mostly no one knows who I am.
ily nonnies i'm glad i'm not the only one that completely loses their shit when a bad period starts>>792663
jesus christ you're right i didn't even think of that>>792724
anon i'm so sorry this is one of my biggest fears since i had to leave my ex after he got addicted to meth. it got so bad i had to leave bcus i couldn't see it happen anymore. but you're right there is nothing you can do for someone that isn't ready to seek help for themselves. i wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy i'm sorry it happened to you
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This is only 1/2 serious but I wish my kpop loving friends would stop inflicting their kpop on me in a group chat who aren't even all into kpop. One of them was like "here have a sad chwe hansol" and sent a pic of some random korean guy like I'm supposed to have any kind of significant emotional reaction at all>>792767
What the fuck, scrotes really are all the same. Did you tell him off?
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I’m really starting to develop a crush on this guy but there’s two major problems; he already has a girlfriend and even worse he’s my boss’ son. I think he’s really funny and is really smart and a really great designer but I know if anything were to happen it would be catastrophically bad both emotionally and professionally.
I get the feeling he’s into me too but… if he cheats with you he’ll cheat on you. He stares at me a lot then looks away if I make eye contact, cracks a lot of jokes, makes references to things he knows I like, and the last time I saw him was like ‘Hey anon this made me thing about you’ several times.
I’m not gonna go after him, it would be a terrible idea all around and I’m not in a good position to date anyways, but god I can’t stop thinking about him.
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What… the fuck. I've actually never heard a man say this irl.
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I wanted to practice drawing before it was too late, but now it is too late, why do I always fecking do this now it's either give up or lose sleep!!
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Prozac anon from the other day, still on Prozac but missed like a day and suddenly irreparably horny its ruining my life
Yeah, which is why sarcasm is a shitty thing in interpersonal relationships.
The origin of the word explains a lot:
he word comes from the Greek σαρκασμός (sarkasmós) which is taken from σαρκάζειν (sarkázein) meaning "to tear flesh, bite the lip in rage, sneer"
I am rarely sarcastic now, except when referring to third party such as politicians.
You're absolutely right. It truly is a recipe for disaster in interpersonal relationships. I've noticed that I usually lay it on thick when people ask rhetorical questions or say something that's obvious. I think it's my way of being condescending without trying to sound as mean as possible. Which is obviously a problem and something I need to work on because it's something people will get tired of very quickly. No one likes feeling like the dumb one. I shall reserve it only for men
who get too big for their britches.
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You'll probably like this lmao
I don't understand why you guys keep saying no though. I haven't and I wont but why not?>>792765
what did you do anon
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If I can get to the interview for this job I applied to, I might actually make it
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>idea for a drawing looks great in my head
>sketch looks even better
>time to ink it
>hand and brain just decide to say "fuck you" simultaneously
Oh well… at least I got some practice in, right
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I wish I knew what high-quality clothes were like. All of the clothing I have owned is fast fashion stuff I bought last year before the pandemic. One of my H&M sweaters died in like 2 days, but I keep it because it can still perform its function of keeping me warm, but the fabric on my H&M corduroy trousers are just beyond repair, or at least I have no clue how to make them look semi-decent. I really liked those trousers, so I might just donate them. I fear that my other clothes may need to be replaced this year too, though I tend to stretch out their use. I fear that my other clothes will die this year too.
I should try to learn how to repaire clothing and get rid of stains. 've been eyeing the singer books (pic rel)
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Just found out I wasn't re-awarded a massive scholarship I won last year that covered a sizeable portion of my cost of attendance. I wasn't necessarily expecting to receive it again, but there was a pretty big chance of that happening. I've been applying to lots of local scholarships, but I don't know if it'll be enough to make up for the nearly $10k difference that scholarship filled. Holy fuck. I'm so stressed. There's no way I'm taking out loans and I really, really, REALLY don't want to dip into my savings.
I get you, anon. I have pcos and have the hairline of a 30 year old man. If I look in the mirror fresh out of the shower, I sometimes legitimately want to kms.
You just described my ex, once I decided to cut contact with her my emotional state improved tremendously. I advice you to put as much distance as possible if you can't outright cut them off your life.
Nonita you deserve better, believe it.
wall of text under the spoiler that might be patronizing or useless if you already understand mending and garment caremending, darning and repairing clothes is actually not too hard unless it's something with a complex structure to the garment, or a very finicky material that would look like shit with visible mending and is difficult to mend seamlessly (i.e. those semi-sheer silky poly-blend or faux chiffon blouses)
you can also do visible mending in beautiful and artistic ways like sashiko!
i would recommend keeping your old, falling-apart fast fashion pieces and socks with holes, even if they are in such disrepair that they've become unwearable, because you can just keep them in a large tub and practice your mending techniques on them (i.e. patches, repairing tears with different types of reinforced stitches, darning woollen knits. if they’re not in super rough shape you can try them on while you're chilling at home and see how your handiwork holds up to actual wear and movement)
it is also not too difficult nowadays to buy some versatile and wearable basics that can be matched with other things in your wardrobe in high quality materials, a lot of options for buying used or thrifting, online consignment, and sales happen more and more nowadays as businesses try to get rid of old stock and hold onto customers who are maybe holding their purses more tightly with the uncertain atmosphere around job security and finances.
like, it's honestly kind of a good time right now for people with thrifty or frugal approaches to consumerism. if you are patient and price compare a lot, buy used, or scope out thrift stores or local marketplaces (like fb marketplace) you can buy something that lasts much longer, without making the investment of full retail price. sometimes comparable to their cheaper counterparts which begin to fall apart or malfunction (appliances and electronics) in terms of price, if you shop like a postwar grandma reluctant to part with her money, lol.
if you or your family have any wool socks, you can get a darning egg, darning needles and some materials for quite cheap and practice darning wool sock holes, which will help you to repair other tears in woollen knit garments later as you become more skilled at technique, like a sweater, or tall socks.
you can also look up the pin trick, where you can gently tug sweater pulls back in, using a sewing pin or safety pin you’ll already have on hand.
i'm not sure how intent you are on learning these skills, or which ones interest you the most, but the vast majority of introductory guides and instruction on beginning to learn how to mend and repair your clothing are available for free. even detailed youtube guides, if you are a visual learner.
if you find you have a knack for it, and it's not too frustrating (you have to be very dexterous and nimble for certain types of repairs when done by hand), you will then have a better idea of what you need to work on: whether you'd like to do visible mending like sashiko, or if you'd like to focus more on knits, maybe even work towards learning to fix or alter denim (crazy difficult), or leather, etc. at that point you sort of have a better idea of which books or supplies you'd benefit from actually spending money on.
you can use libgen and those similar sites like, what is it, z-library? to get ebooks or pdfs too, if you're trying to save money. especially if you'd like to take a gamble on trying something new. maybe the information in a book you'll end up thinking of buying about x type of mending is kind of sparse and shitty, or it’s more of a photobook about sashiko designs, as opposed to demonstrations of the techniques and instructions for different types of stitches. now you haven't wasted money on it.
most public libraries offer ebook lending as well, and you can easily pirate from archive.org's lending feature (if you google it, simple instructions will come up on piracy subreddits or w/e. it's dead simple, you just need adobe reader.)
many public libraries are offering a moratorium on late fees and nice incentives for new memberships, to make it easier and more accessible to loan physical books about anything you’d like to teach yourself. including sewing, mending, darning, repairing or upcycling clothing.
for stains: there are different solutions you can make at home for any stain under the sun. peroxide is pretty much the only thing that can successfully lift blood, for instance. the heavy duty stain treatments you get at the store for laundry are just an intense concentration of peroxide. if you keep hydrogen peroxide on hand, you can apply it to a blood stain (panties, sheets, pants, dishrags from a kitchen mishap) immediately and let it sit, dab it out, repeat until lifted, and wash. baking soda, peroxide, baking soda, and a little bit of dish soap or detergent can be used in countless ratios or mixes, kept in a spray bottle from the dollar store and applied to carpet, clothing, mattress, or furniture stains quite successfully.
recently i lifted eight years worth of stains out of an old mattress with just the above products; it looks brand new and is disinfected now. i also keep a solution of peroxide, baking soda and dish soap on hand in a spray bottle to lift stains from the carpet before they set. you can do similar things for clothes when it’s not quite bad enough to use an expensive stain remover. especially if you catch the stains before they set.
some materials or fabrics are more sensitive to harsh ingredients, and you can use the store bought stain pretreatments for those or get them dry cleaned. but the ingredients i listed are super cheap and multipurpose.
there are dry cleaning channels on youtube who can teach you about garment care and how to launder delicate fabrics, lift stains out of them.
you can get handheld garment steamers and pilling-removers for dirt cheap, as well, many less than 20$ from amazon or walmart.
learning to properly care for and mend your clothes to the point where you prolong their wearability and lifespan saves you so much money on upkeep, as opposed to replacing them with more fast fashion, it’s insane. not only does it pay for itself, but decades from now, you’d probably be able to buy a nicer quality wardrobe with the money you’ve saved.
it’s like buying a cheap, shitty pair of work boots that you have to replace every year vs. a high quality durable pair which lasts ten years. the upfront cost of the boots is much cheaper, but the amount it costs to get repairs and ultimately replace them every year ends up costing you more in that ten year span than the investment pair. i think terry pratchett wrote about that. it’s expensive to be poor.
sorry for the long post, i hope you can learn what you would like to learn!
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im in love and its stupid but mostly im stupid for not seeing the signs and exiting stage left when i had the chance. Now im fucked.
Here to join you in this misery anons. Literally everything hair related has become triggering
for me now. Every second on the internet I see bald jokes or have to listen to friends make jokes about being bald etc. It’s so exhausting to live your life with all ups and downs and then also having to carry this constant reminder with you that you’re losing hair. I can’t even put it into words how miserable my life has become. I’m not bald yet but I most likely will be before I even hit 30. It’s a curse. That’s the only way I can describe it. My hair was the only thing that I genuinely liked and got compliments for. I feel like my life will make another complete 180 once I lose all my hair, and I’m not sure if I’ll be mentally strong enough to handle it.
I wish you all the best. I hope you’re stronger than me and have good support system.
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I wish all of humanity was less focused on sex, life would be so much better. I never think of sex and my life is wonderful
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Anyone else here hate their bfs family? Bunch of annoying ass bored ass gossiping Karens. Majority of them don’t even know me. But because his dumb ass runs his mouth every time we have a little problem in our relationship they hate me and he’s an angel of course. He just won’t shut the fuck up and stop it. And then he expects me to want to go and hang out with his family. I’d rather cut my own arm off. Reeee
I can somewhat relate. I really want to be in a relationship where I'm obsessed over, but in a positive way (ie. no possessiveness or domineering behavior directed towards me in any way, only him being extremely devoted and really wanting to make me happy to a fault). I just think it would be really fun to experience that sort of overly intimate love, and reciprocate it as well.>>793308
Of course this is rational. But when it gets to that point there is no "keeping him in line", when he deserves to get slam dunked into the nearest dumpster.
>>793302>Being obsessed is not a good thing tbh
I'm aware, but because my formative relationship was abusive
, full of ups and down as well as me being trauma bonded and obsessed with him, I still crave those kind of dynamics even though it's been years and I should know better.
To be honest, routine definitely is a problem. Another thing is that as much as I love my bf, I've never been crazily in love with him. I cannot glorify him. All of this bothers me and I hate it.
I don't know if there is any healthy way to bring strong emotions into the relationship… it makes me wanna cry.>>793311
What do you think is my problem (beyond what I stated)? I know you are being sarcastic, but at this point I'm willing to listen to any and all takes
nta but thank you for this post anon!
I did some sashiko style embroidery while making myself a laptop case and it's so fulfilling and fun to do. I also handsewed myself a shirt last year and while it was incredibly tedious, the result was wonderful. My goal this year to not buy any clothing at all, maybe next year I'll thrift around and upcycle some cute pieces I can find!
You've mentioned your therapist was useless in that regard, did you maybe consider changing a therapist? Because from the sound of it here there will be no easy solution, and even if you leave your bofriend and get a new one with whom you'll get intense strong emotions again it will either become toxic
or the initial flame will become smaller again and you'll find yourself in the same situation. Long term healthy relationships are not intense and obsessive, so if you seek that you'll probably need to work through your unhealthy need to feel these things. Maybe seek them somewhere else? Stupid idea and a shortcut, but some kind of extreme sports to give you an adrenaline rush somewhere else than the relationship. Maybe if you do is together, sharing them will actually help you bond with your boyfriend stronger in a way that could be more meaningful to you?
>>793327>You've mentioned your therapist was useless in that regard, did you maybe consider changing a therapist?
I'm kinda considering, but I will give her some more time. It's kinda hard for me to judge since she's been helpful with other stuff, and I'm a complicated case (have tons of vaguely related problems). I brought this topic up for the first time with her. She started suggesting that maybe I'm projecting my boredom related to being almost unemployed at the moment. Which is bullshit, the only thing that I give a fuck when it comes to work is getting my money. I do not want to get nervous about someone else's problems. I had to tell straight on what I think is the source of my problem. What she suggested was helpful in regard to working on another aspect of our relationship, but not my need for obsessive relationship.
I wish my partner was a Great Man, someone that I could look up to. But he's not, and it's ruining everything for me, even though I love him. This is gonna sound stupid, but I've always wanted a relationship like Sylvia Plath's and Ted Hughes. You know, except without cheating, suicide (unless mutual, kek)
and domestic violence. To have a partner that is a strong, dependent person that I feel crazy in love with.>Stupid idea and a shortcut, but some kind of extreme sports to give you an adrenaline rush somewhere else than the relationship. Maybe if you do is together, sharing them will actually help you bond with your boyfriend stronger in a way that could be more meaningful to you?
I will think about it! ♥
Ah I see. I think there could be a chance you'll come back in therapy to this specific need of obsessive, intense feelings later, maybe you'll approach it from a differend side, not straight on like you did before, as you happen to discuss something else and realize it's linked? I totally understand not wanting to change a therapist at the moment though. Hopefully it will get addressed.
Also to be clear, I think it's not an irrational desire to want your partner to be someone accomplished you could look up to in certain way, but it's not very realistic to hope to always feel crazy in love. You shouldn't feel like you have to stay with your boyfriend because it's just stable and nice when he's not meeting your other needs, just be sure it's not coming from some unreasonable need coming from past trauma and abuse.
>>793349>. You shouldn't feel like you have to stay with your boyfriend because it's just stable and nice when he's not meeting your other needs, just be sure it's not coming from some unreasonable need coming from past trauma and abuse.
Fuck, this is such a typical lolcow reply, but I don't want to break up with him. I have huge issues with abandoning people, plus we have strong relationship on many fronts. At the same time, I worry that he may not be enough, or that he already isn't. But I also cannot imagine my life without him. Plus, all of this may be a result of my unhappiness with his behavior combined with my mental issues, including euphoric recall. I don't think I'm completely in my right judgment atm. I legit kinda want to slash my leg just to feel something. I don't know why, but self-destructive behavior is much more attractive to me than stability, self-care and the like. Blegh.
I think a dude's family dynamic is extremely telling of his character. My bf's family is rather matriarchal. They're older, feminist women in education/academia. I think it contributed a lot to his nigel qualities.
Your bf sounds like a little bitch enabled by a bunch of son-worshiping handmaids.
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REEEee I wish I had women in my life who knows about cars and plumbing and fixing shit. Most I can do is put together IKEA and change a tire, I didn't spec any point in this skill tree… I get pukey from anxiety whenever something in the house goes bump because I have no fucking clue what's what. I must have got scammed by mechanics and handymans a lot.
The patriarchy failed me. There's a wet spot in the ceiling and I'm hearing weird noises in the attic omfg. I'll go look sad in Home Depot parking lot until some based lady adopts me.