/sty/ - pigsty

nah. i acted like cupid and got two friends together and things where great, but over the year the girl started to show some weird signs, and once in a while the guy would voice his concerns like he suspects she's cheated and she sends flirtatious messages to guys on facedbook. needless to say, she was a crazy bitch after the break up. stalked his social media, drove by him just to call him names every so often, excessively drank, etc. I can't blame him for letting his friends know how awful she was.

Yeah, whenever I talk shit about an ex, I do make sure to mention that they weren't always like that and that they're only hearing the negative attributes about them, so please don't think they're a terrible person.

So I don't know. I always make sure to mention that what I'm saying about them is biased. I don't want people thinking my ex was shitty. Because they weren't. Like they made some bad choices.

When it comes to other people, I try to incorporate the sane idea that I'm only getting a very narrow view of this person and to remain open minded.

No, but we actively have to deal with the bitch because they had kids and she's every bit as crazy as he said she was. I tried to befriend her but it ended with her trying to dig up financial info about my husband (bf at the time) from me and trying to get me to break up with him and be a spy for her. Not to mention she was a methhead and also dealt drugs out of her house.

I think that if they have no attachments there shouldn't really be a lot of shit talking. If they have to be involved though, it's not a bad idea to heed their warnings.

>>1091
>having kids with a crazy methheda
Ur bf deserves it tbh.
That's exactly what I was talking about. Poor judgement, no self-respect and no balls to end the relationship fast enough in a civil way before it comes to that.

>>1094
Well, she wasn't on meth when they got married. That came after she started cheating on him with a drug dealer. He's military so he gets deployed pretty often. But I do ask him wtf he was thinking a lot of the time since she had other warning signs when they were dating.

I think there is this wounded period that people suffer after horrible relationships. Give them six months to talk shit about their ex if they were in it for more than a year. If they go past this point, they're blaming an ex for an obvious chip on their shoulder that they can't get off.

No , Not when what they say and shit talk about their ex is true.

>If they whine about their current partners, I'll almost try to distance myself from them.

Yesssss. This bothers me so much, but I only know two girls that do it. One of them made a fucking pie chart for her bf (of 3 years) to show him how she goes to get groceries 97% of the time. Once she let chicken breasts rot on the table to prove to him that he never empties the groceries bag. She constanty complains about fighting with him, no foreplay and so on - but on the other hand she talks about wanting to get married and have kids. She is 27. When we saw each other at work she always asked me "how are you and your boyfriend doing?" which i thought was sad.

I think talking shit about exes out of the blue is retarded and a form of attention seeking/fishing for compliments or consolation. I understand it when it's done out of fear (like, I'll tell you he was a dick so you won't believe him when he tells you I was the bitch) or of course in a heart to heart conversation. I find it weird when people discuss their relationships casually, with a bunch of people present.

Sometimes. At the very least, most of the time I assume it's people's own fault for even associating with people who are clearly shit. They will hook up with someone at a club and then be surprised the person has issues with commitment when they try to build a relationship; they'll know someone has no good educational background or job proving a decent work ethic, and still be astounded that their partner turns out to be irresponsible or a bum. Sometimes I can take people seriously though and see that they had no way of telling their partner would turn out to be a legitimately horrible person.

I have been in a few emotionally traumatic relationships, so I have been guilty of using partners as free therapists in order to deal with that.

There is clearly a line though. Some people just love making up reasons to talk about their exes, even if the relationship/break-up was standard. Definitely a hard dislike if that's ALL they talk about.

I mean, I only say one of my ex's was a dick because he cheated on me repeatedly and lied to my face. But as for the others, I don't shit talk them, since they weren't bad people.

But I feel you, it really depends on the way they talk about them and what happened though.

>person opens up to you about their traumatic relationship with their ex
>hurr how can you say bad things about your ex, hate ppl like you durr

Fuck you OP

>>2023
Well, that person is probably a bitter retard with no self respect.
The entire concept of not breaking up with a person you are uncomfortable with right away is really alien to me.
You either don't pursue the relationship once you see you don't really like the person you were interested in or only have yourself to blame.
I only have the best to say about my exes, even though it turned out the circumstances of life or our goals didn't allign and all of my breakups were pretty civil and respectful, even if at times hurtful.

>>997

It depends. I mean I don't like it when people complain about their significant other – but I also understand that relationships (even friendships) require hearing about what your friends are concerned, annoyed, or dealing with.

Now when it comes to ex-significant others, it really comes down to how much time was spent with them. If someone was with another person for 10 years, that's a huge chunk of that person's life that their ex was a part of. Hopefully the majority of their memories will be positive, and the ex will come up as part of the anecdote… but if not, perhaps it was an abusive relationship, which people shouldn't feel obligated to hide if it makes them feel better to get it off their chest. If it's the sake of attention, then yeah. That's annoying.

>>2026
>You either don't pursue the relationship once you see you don't really like the person you were interested in or only have yourself to blame.
stop victim blaming you bigot, people are not responsible for what they do!

>>2026
You're kind of ignoring that a lot of the time once a person starts to show who they are instead of being on their best behaviour at the start of a relationship like a lot of people tend to be, that there's already emotions involved, and it's probably not as simple as "Yeah just view it objectively and leave them", right?

It's great you've never had a bad relationship if that's true, but you're being silly if you don't see why someone could be in a relationship that might not be best for them because they feel like they can fix it or the persons just going through something, or simply not noticing the change, or by that point already having strong emotions and simply not seeing the partner objectively as the negative influence they are, or any number of other reasons why someone would stay in a relationship.

I don't think many bad relationships come from the early dating phase before it's anything serious where it shows up they're dipshits or you just don't like them that much, it's later on those things lead to deterioration.

People who bitch about all their exes to make their current partner feel better or just to get attention are fucking annoying though, and are generally exaggerating pretty massively about their exes flaws.

What about the reality that tons of people get married to people they aren't even really in love with for whatever reason and then on top of that many stay together for years and years in an empty, meaningless marriage?

>>2026
>victims of abuse only have themselves to blame!!!
>if you don't act just like me your duuum!!
>my breakups were ok there4 everyone'ss has 2 b!
Are you sure you aren't the one whose retarded?

>>2057
Honestly I respect them, because they know they'll never find real love in life and settle for the most practical solution. Those that are impulsive and jump from relationship to relationship are just… ugh. I do really despise them