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No. 102887

Couldn't find one through the catalog, thought this could be useful. Need advice on sex related stuff? Ask here.

No. 102888

10/10 pic OP.

No. 102971

Please teach me how to give a good blowjob because I’m hella insecure about it. I mean stuff besides the obvious no teeth, no actual blowing etc.

(Also: not asking bc porn makes me self-conscious or because I want to cater to guys’ needs but because I genuinely enjoy giving head and love to give the guy as much pleasure as possible.)

No. 102975

- Don't be afraid to get spit everywhere
- Lick his balls and bury your face in them
- Say something nasty
- Stuff his dick as far deep in your mouth/throat as you can
- vacuum suck
- Eat his ass if you're feeling brave

No. 102977


here are some tips :

>remember to breathe thru your nose (hardest part for me)

>take it slow at first to get that thing as far back as you can and if you are gaggy you gotta push through
>keep your tongue between your bottom teeth and the dick to minimize the chances of a toothy blowjob.
>testicle stimulation also helps plus they’re kinda fun to squish.

>think of the song “faith” by george michael (my personal tip)

hope it helps slightly. i also make dumb jokes because i’m socially awkward so i wouldn’t try that out. but i’ve always gotten glowing reviews on the bj’s.



No. 102980

These are some good tips, I'd also add on use your hands, especially if you have trouble getting far down, you can wrap your hand around and stroke in combination with your mouth going up and down to create the illusion you are going deeper, if that makes sense!

Oh and eye contact, guys seem to dig that

No. 102982


Do you guys have any advice on how to keep your jaw from aching? My boyfriend has a fairly large dick and it takes forever to make him cum. On top of that I also tend to tense up my jaw or grind my teeth during the day so after about 15min tops I’ll have to give up because I can’t handle the pain. (Switching to hand stuff and going back to sucking doesn’t work as it’ll take about an hour for the pain to subside.)

No. 102984

oh, and if you want your throat fucked, lay on the bed with your head down the side so it hangs over the edge, then he will be able to slide in super easily

No. 102987

I have TMJ issues too and honestly the only thing I can think of is practicing general jaw care to relax your jaw - heat packs, jaw stretches, maybe a night guard if you can get one.

No. 102989

What is the op image from?

No. 102995

How do you guys edge a partner? Do you just slow down? Switch positions? Stop?

No. 102997


Depends on how well you know your partner's body and body language. If you're just starting out trying it, communicate and have them tell you when they're getting close. Then slow down or stop stimulation for a little bit before starting it up again. Repeat as much as you like before letting them cum.

No. 103007

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i have little to no sex drive, but my bf is extremely sexual due to being a former porn addict. i have fantasies but i rarely masturbate, and i feel guilty because i just can’t seem to actually get in the mood ever. i think it might be in part because my boyfriend isn’t very educated on sex other than what he sees in porn and i’m only into romantic shit nowadays, plus he can’t cum from sex so i feel bad that he doesn’t get anything from it and that it’s probably inpersonal for him because i love intimacy during sex. i’m also kind of into submissive boys and my bf is 100% dominant so even though our relationship is amazing we’re completely opposite sexually and he makes such a big deal when i don’t wanna jerk him off or suck his dick. today i told him i felt kinda depressed and didn’t want to do anything and he sat and sulked and then jerked off in the bathroom (which i don’t mind) but maybe my lack of sex drive is due to being put off by his attitude? sorry this is such a huge paragraph but what do i do?

No. 103035

So he wants to have sex constantly, but he can't cum from it? Wut?

No. 103040


oh kek i should’ve clarified, he doesn’t wanna fucc he just wants me to jerk him off all the time

No. 103042

He sounds super selfish. If all he wants is a hand job he should respect that you're not in the mood (you get nothing from it) and do it himself

No. 103046

Kare Kano

No. 103077

Really anon…? It says it in the file name and you can reverse image search. Theres no excuse for being this inept.

No. 103090

Positions for lazy couples? We rotate through missionary, doggy and cowgirl and it's getting kinda boring but neither of us has the muscles for kamasutra tier stuff

No. 103092

i like the spooning/from the side position when i'm being lazy, also the one where you're on your side with your leg on their shoulder. idk the names, sorry.

No. 103102

>turn on otome cd
>pretend ur having sex

No. 103113

You better namedrop those games, anon. Please.

No. 103114

No games….just pure sweet sounds and soft moans made by boys on youtube
My favourite channels are
くすのき, ひろまの稽古場, 森あっくん 女性向け ボイスアクター, and that しょう guy but I can't find his channel atm but it doesn't matter bc as long as you're not logged into your usual youtube account and keep clicking on recommended videos with japanese channel names,, you will surely stumble upon him and find more cute boys voices in the process. Don't forget to clear your history when you are done…..

This is my virgin sex advice.

No. 103146

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Thanks for this tread.

How would two women go about having sex?
Like, from the initial proposition to both parties being satisfied.

I've been dating this girl for 4 years and she is perfect and I want to marry her. We both have very low libidos which is ideal for both of us, no hassle. We barely ever even kiss, but I don't mind it much since I never really found kissing pleasurable outside of a simple gentle touch. What I mind is that soon we will be living together and I would like to try out having sex with her. I ran the idea by her and she's willing to try it too. Even if we can't get that aroused with our shitty libidos it would probably still feel pleasurable and build trust, right?
Or am I completely delusional?
Maybe I should just stick to my dream of becoming a massagist to be at least useful when I touch her. Maybe we should live a happy sex-less life and be happy with it because bad sex will ruin our love for each other.
Help, I am a very dumb lesbian who's very new to relatioships with women, especially women that are perfect in every regard and kinda unapproachable even if we're lying in bed together.

No. 103147

If you don’t have any desire to have sex, don’t have it. You shouldn’t push it because ‚that’s what couples do‘ or something like that. If you really want to have Sex, it should come by itself. It’s really nothing more than doing what feels good for you as well as the other person. If it feels like a chore, it’s not worth it. It‘ll ruin the experience tbh.

Give yourselves time to settle first. Even couples with regular libidos don’t necessarily fuck immediately after moving in together. There are some that find that new experience to be enticing, some are too worn out/stressed from the entire moving process and getting accustomed to that new living situation.

There’s no shame in living a sexless life and relationship as long as the two of you are okay with it. As I said, only do what feels good to you, not what you feel obliged to do.

No. 103149

Thank you. I actually thought about that a lot. Like, we don't really suffer and our relationship is stable even without sex, but you get bombarded everywhere nowadays how sex is what keeps people together, how it's important for a lasting relationship and health and all that.
After years of people just assuming me and her fuck I got a complex. Like that our relationship is not really real if we never have sex. Like we need to have sex even if just to realize we both actually don't need it. Try and either continue or completely give up.
Like, the girl in question. She never even masturbated before. She doesn't feel the need. So I want to help her in some way and find out if she's really asexual or just has zero experience.

I've had sex that I didn't really want to with a man before. He coerced me basically and there was no arousal in it for me, but I treated it like some kind of a science experiment and managed to enjoy certain acts like that.

No. 103150

double post really.

I know we might never have sex, but my real question, if we decide to try it, what would we do?
I've only had experience with a man and I basically got groomed into bdsm as young as 14, so I don't know most novice techniques. Like, all the gentle entry-level shit.

No. 103151

NTA but my best advice is go slowly, experiment, and talk to each other about how stuff feels. Obviously there's the usual places that people visit during sexual contact (breasts, vulva) but some people find having their neck, thighs, or tummy kissed very pleasurable. If neither of you are intensely sexual people, it may be a good idea to start somewhere like that. Maybe even do some passionate kissing first, and just see how it goes? There's no "wrong" way to do sex, as long as you're both consenting and happy with what's happening.

No. 103165

You mentioned the massage thing, I think that would be a really good starting point. If you're both a bit inexperienced/not too into sex, just touching each others in gentle ways is just as good. Get some nice scented massage oil and just touch her body. Give gentle pecks on her neck, chest, thighs etc. It doesn't have to go to sex straight away. You can take your time to learn what feels good for both of you. Once you maybe feel comfortable with it, maybe try using your mouth & fingers a bit more on sensitive areas (breasts&vulva). I know it doesn't help when I say it'll come naturally but it will. You might even feel content just with giving one another intimate attention without feeling like it's "sex" (or sex as other people describe it, it really doesn't have to be penetrative or even that "passionate")

Just take it slow and enjoy her company & body.

No. 103172

this is going to sound really dumb, but how do i make my boyfriend orgasm? cw for the spoiler since it may be slightly upsetting. it is for me at least.

due to being groomed as a child, he can go for a very long time. we have really, really good sex, and he tells me that i make him feel amazing, and that i'm the only one he's dated where sex doesn't feel like a chore or a favor, and he finds me very very attractive. but whether i'm giving him oral or he's penetrating me, he has to finish himself off at the end. i know it isn't his fault, and that it probably isn't anything i'm doing wrong, but you can imagine that it makes me a bit insecure. i want to make him feel good, and i know i do, but i'd love to be able to make him orgasm myself. he deserves it, i love him a lot and wish he didn't have to go through what he did, it breaks my heart.

No. 103173

How much do you talk about these things? Could he guide you through it? I've had a few partners like that and slowly talking through what makes them feel good has helped a lot.

No. 103179

>i'm the only one he's dated where sex doesn't feel like a chore or a favor

This is a bad sign. Because of the abuse, he's used to thinking about sex like it's a tool, not something for pleasure. He needs therapy, this is beyond something you can help him with. The most you could do is ask him to stop jerking off to porn, in hopes of increasing his sensitivity a little. Don't feel bad for feeling insecure because he can't cum with you. Being unable to make a guy get off is naturally going to make you feel bad, because society tells us that men cum easily.

No. 103183

i'll definitely suggest this to him.

he actually told me he doesn't jerk off as much anymore, and when he does it's to me, not porn. and i'm a big giver so i think seeing my eagerness to please him has also helped his mentality some. he was so patient and loving in regards to my own intimacy issues so i just really want to help him too. we both said the same thing: that sex with each other is the first time it's been physically and emotionally satisfying. that being said…

>He needs therapy, this is beyond something you can help him with.

it hurts to think about this, because i don't think he even realizes how much it really affected him, but this is the most likely answer. i'll talk to him about all my concerns and bring up therapy, and continue being there for him like he's been for me. thanks guys.

No. 103194

Not going to try to psychoanalyze your boyfriend or anything, but maybe instead of finishing himself off (I'm assuming he just jacks off manually) you could do it, with his hand over yours as a guide for speed/pressure, if that makes sense? That way, you're involved and touching him still but technically he is guiding the motion. It would help him to be more comfortable with the sensation of you getting him off rather than him. It's worth a try, imo

No. 103196

>when he does it's to me, not porn
anon, you sound so sweet but he's most likely lying about this

No. 103201

yeah, this would make sense. sometimes guys have trouble cumming with a partner if they jack off too much or become desensitized to graphic content.

No. 103202

nta but don't be an ass some men aren't pieces of shit and don't like porn. you don't know anon's life or how often she sees her bf.

No. 103219

thank you for this, i'll bring this up as well. i usually help him out by sucking his balls while he manually gets off, but this is a good idea

oops you're partly right because i meant to type "it's usually to me." he admitted to watching less porn, not abstaining from it entirely. i'm running on 0 sleep

thanks. yeah, we see each other as often as possible and are very honest with each other so i don't think he'd lie about jerking off/watching porn less. i mean, i'll definitely ask him about his sensitivity when i talk to him about all of this but i just worry the issue is more emotional than physical. just want him to be happy and healthy you know?

No. 103221

Sorry to ask but is he circumcised?

No. 103223

yes he is

No. 103224

Ah, so is my boyfriend. I'm in a similar situation (almost thought you were talking about by bf lol I'm insecure) and talking dirty/dressing sexy helps a bit, you know doing more than just physical stimulation

No. 103229

What kind of porn does he watch? If it's a specific fetish that he gets off to that you can't cater to (either because multiple people are involved, it's one of those goofy fetishes like inflation, or it's violent and necro/snuff-tier) that could also be an issue. I think that's what >>103201 was getting at with "graphic."

No. 103233

i get a little embarrassed when it comes to dirty talk but i'll try to get past it, he seems to like it. will also try dressing sexy. thanks, and good luck with your bf anon

i actually don't know what he watches, but we have discussed our kinks/fetishes and his interests are pretty normal so i'd think his stuff would be fairly vanilla and not graphic like what you described

again, thanks everyone for the suggestions. i was nervous and hesitant to post about this but you've all been cool. i think the insecurity was starting to get to me so i'm glad i spoke up. i feel more confident about talking to him about this now

No. 103270

Baby lesbian in her first sexual relationship here. Am I going to look like a complete idiot if I bring up tribbing with my more experienced gf? It seems really hot, the idea of it makes me aroused, and I used to get off to rubbing up on things like pillows. But I heard scissoring doesn't actually feel that good. Should I let the dream die or risk my gf laughing me out of bed if I ask to try it?

No. 103291

I mean in general if your partner laughs at your suggestions in a mean way you should leave them but gathering from my past lesbian relationships this is actually quite fun, you should try it. Scrissoring etc might be a meme but for some couples it works, I've had a lot of pleasurig experiences with tribbing even tho is sounds a bit silly in theory.

No. 103300

I always thought I just had a very high sex drive, but I might be a sex addict. I need sex multiple times a day, my body can be all sore and I still want more. Last time I went a day without sex was because my husband was feeling a sharp pain in one of his balls from coming so much. He had to take painkillers for it. A 22yo guy taking pain killers because he had too much sex.
Anyone else like this? Do I need to see a doctor?

No. 103304

How often do you masturbate?

No. 103306

You need Jesus.

No. 103309

You seem not compatible for each other. Ask yourself if there is enough reasons to stick together when your sexual preferences are that different.

Just touch her and pet her to find out what you like and what she does like. Don’t take too much pressure it being sex as in double penetrating etc. You can be intimate in so many ways so you just need to find the right way to show it. Touch different parts of her, find what spots she wants you to touch her.
Oh shit, this really makes me miss lesbian relationships…. I’m bi and sex with males are so straight forward with obvious ending.

Try to enjoy the intimacy as itself. You don’t NEED to have sex/penetrate/orgasm to have a real relationship.

No. 103310

When I was single multiple times a day, but now that I'm married I prefer having sex.

No. 103311

I want to have sex, it's been a while. I have several guys who'd want to date me but I'm just so fucking insecure. I hate my body, I think every guy will find me ugly and I really don't want to undress. I'm insecure af. And on top of that I don't know what to do. I'm old enough, I have enough experience, but I just feel so insecure lately. Last time a guy I really fancy came close to me and all I thought was "please don't kiss me" now - although I really want us to make out?! I hate myself so much.
How can I gain more confidence and not panic all the time and overthink everything?

No. 103314

Perhaps you should just find someone that makes you feel secure?

Would it help if you masturbated a bit more?

No. 103330

My bf came out as a foot fetishist and I don't even know what to do or think about it.

No. 103331

Enjoy the foot massages

No. 103335

How is this even a bad thing? Better than him obsessing over anal and wanting to wreck your colon or something.

No. 103336

feet r hot, guys who like feet are hotter.

No. 103338

That's tragic. I'm sorry, anon…what a MAJOR turn off.

No. 103350

I used to be with a guy who had a thing for my feet. The most we did was a footjob and some toe sucking (as in my toes in his month). Hopefully he's not a huge creep about that and doesn't force you into something you find uncomfortable.
I never really got the appeal, but it's fine if it's nothing gross like showing your foot up his ass.
It was kinda a trade off, I like my ears bitten and licked and it did nothing for him. We just decided to do it for each other because why not if it's not any grosser than regular sex.

No. 103351

Sameanon but he would probably let you step on him, a femdom dream!

No. 103353

i hate guys with foot fetishes. they're always super sexist with ideas that women must be delicate.

No. 103360

These men are also super creepy and gross. There's absolutely nothing hot about feet. Feet are disgusting and a totally non sexual part of the body.

No. 103371

How did you feel when going the day without sex? A sex addict would probably act crazy and moody like junkies do. Maybe you're at that "functional" level though, like functional alcoholics.

Maybe incorporate masturbation or using toys to give your husband's dick a break. If the sex impedes on your life, consider therapy.

No. 103372

Can't you just put a vibrator in or Ben Wa balls and keep them in there most of the time? Or go see a sex positive therapist

No. 103376

You guys are right. My desire is for sex but I should try to make do with masturbation.
I was quite frustrated but I didn't lash out on anybody so that's good. I'll shop for a toy and try more masturbation if my husband gets overwhelmed again. At 31 I think my sex drive might slow down a bit in the future too.

No. 103378

I don’t know if I’m really asking for advice or just want to vent. But anyways…

The other day I talked to my friend about sex stuff and how she used to have a girlfriend that had so many orgasms. How she sometimes just had to insert a finger to make her come and how she had like 15 orgasms in just 2hours.

And it just bums me out because I barely ever orgasm during sex. Even when I masturbate I only come from clitoral stimulation and need insane amounts of pressure/vibration.

I feel like I’m genuinely broken. I even searched up online if there’s maybe some kind of surgery that heightens my sensitivity down there.

Is there a way to learn becoming so highly orgasmic or some kind of surgery to make things more sensitive? I know this is dumb but … y’know or do I just have to accept that I’m never going to have that kind of experience in my life?

I read that Ben Wa balls etc to make vaginal orgasms easier to acheive, but I feel like they genuinely do nothing for me? It’s like wearing a tampon. I always read how they’re supposed to train your muscle because you have to hold them in but there’s literally no possible position that makes it feel like they might fall out or like I have to ‘grab’ them?

Just everything about my vagina starts makes me feel sexually inept and it sucks and makes me hate myself in general.

>you just have to stop pressuring yourself :^)
This has been a problem ever since. I never even realized there were women that regularly orgasm during sex. I only realized after about 4 months into my second relationship when the guy asked me if I ever had an orgasm and I realized that the only orgasm I had so far was from a girl going down on me for literally an hour.
I never felt pressured to have an orgasm. But I’m starting to. I genuinely don’t know what to do.

No. 103379

wait, you're 31 and sexually exhausted a 22 year old? it's fine to enjoy sex but if you crave it that much I highly suggest getting it checked out with a doctor

No. 103380

Could be a weird unconscious urge to have babies soon lol

No. 103382

Most of the time he can keep up but in the end I'm pretty much milking him dry. He doesn't even ejaculate more than a few drops.
We're making plans to have a baby in the next couple years.

No. 103390

You could say the same about legs or ears lmao. What a weird thing to be angry about, it's not like it can be helped.

Also not sure what >>103353 means since many of them love stinky feet/enjoy being stepped on. That said, having a foot fetish doesn't make someone inherently misogynistic dom or inherently sub, it's pretty neutral.
t. foot fetishist (and yes I'm a woman, we're out here)

No. 103415

On the plus side if you indulge him, you have a free pass to ask him to indulge any kinks you may have that he may not share. My girlfriend likes feet and I like pee, we don't share each others fetishes but we're not bothered by indulging the other in what she likes. I would be happy my partner shared their fetish with me, it means they trust you to be open with you even about embarassing things.

No. 103425

How did you get angry from that? Way to project. Sorry not everyone has the same likes and opinions as you. Foot fetishes are gross.

No. 103430



No. 103431

Sorry. I'm just not sure why you're so disgusted by people into something harmless, but it's obviously fine lol. It just read as a strong reaction over text, but clearly I was mistaken.

No. 103446

I'm a female and my bf is a bisexual man who's expressed how much he loves being anally penetrated. He's told me he's usually a "power bottom" type and has been pegged by girls before, although I've never done any kind of anal penetration even with myself and the thought is a little daunting.

He's usually very dominant and has expressed how he's more than satisfied with our sex life. I've told him before pegging/penetrating him is something I'm intrigued by and I'm slowly working up the courage to do it but I'm not sure where to start? Should I try with my fingers first? How do I go about asking if I can penetrate him in a way that isn't awkward as fuck? I've done a fair bit of research but porn kinda grosses me out and online articles come off a little disingenuous or targeted to only hetero guys.

No. 103452

Maybe visit a sex toy shop with him? You could start with just plain fingers/anal plugs and work your way up there. Even if he would be ready for more from the very start you might also need to get adjusted to the thought so that might be a good way to go. Ofc if he already has some toys just try them out together.

No. 103454

How do I ride a guy? I've tried looking up so much but just trying to implement what I see in advice blogs suck. I can't keep a rhythm or do it effectively or elegantly for long. Any anons with hacks or tips?

No. 103455

I asked the same question a few weeks ago and got this answer >>102390

No. 103457

Thank you for the link! Have you tried it since getting that advice? How was it?

No. 103461

Thanks for the advice! Yeah, he has quite a few toys which are intimidatingly big I'll admit.

No. 103463

I lost my virginity five months ago, but only had my first orgasm two months ago.

Emotions definitely play a large part in it for me, both times have been when I've felt super lovely-dovey or when we've really missed each other.

Clitoral stimulation is uncomfortable for me, it just feels too sensitive and becomes painful really quickly. All of my orgasms have happened in the cowgirl position.

No. 103478

Usually if my clit is too sensitive, I go for the area above it, technically the clitoral hood.

No. 103484

I thought that's the norm before I read about all those anons with sensitive clits and realized they are touching it kinda directly. Like of course that wouldn't be pleasant. I don't go straight ahead for it but like pull it, stroke it while going for areas nearby but still feeling the movements and pleasure in the clit. It's great.
But maybe that's me and ppl actually go straight for the clit lol. Dunno man I flinch at the thought.

No. 103485

I thought that's the norm before I read about all those anons with sensitive clits and realized they are touching it kinda directly. Like of course that wouldn't be pleasant. I don't go straight ahead for it but like pull it, stroke it while going for areas nearby but still feeling the movements and pleasure in the clit. It's great.
But maybe that's me and ppl actually go straight for the clit lol. Dunno man I flinch at the thought.

No. 103486

How the FUCK do I make guys cum?

My current boyfriend is 27 and I'm the only other person he's ever been sexually intimate with. We do a variety of sexual acts, I try new positions with him, indulge his kinks, and I cannot get him to cum. Not through PIV, not through a handjob or a blowjob, nothing. He always has to finish himself off and its driving me crazy. It's getting to the point where I don't really want to do anything intimate with him because it feels totally pointless. I'm sure he still enjoys having someone else touch his dick but it's not fun for me to get fucked for a bit or suck dick and then have to wait for him to jerk off and finish, it just totally kills my mood.

I've tried asking him before what I can do or if theres stuff he wants to try or anything and he doesnt have any answers.

No. 103490

I mean if he can't tell you how it's not really your fault… I know it's frustrating as fuck but you can only do as much. It's always fun when some else touches your junk, so I don't think it's your fault. I know it's a shitty answer but sometimes they just gotta do it on their own, if even their guiding doesn't help.

No. 103511

he has death grip and/or a porn addiction. you can't do anything. trust me i've been down this path. he needs to be willing to change on his own, or nothing will work.

No. 103518

I’m writing this on my phone so sorry for any typos. Anyways, there’s this guy at work I’m trying to get to be more open with me. We both work at target but in different departments. I’m in style and he’s in electronics. I’ve been trying to get him more interested in my by talking to him more and helping him out when he gets busy but he only ever really talks to me as a coworker. He hadn’t asked me for my number or follow me on social media. I know he is currently single. Is it possible to ask someone out without coming across as a desperate creep?

No. 103521

this. he needs to practice jerking off with lube and not using a death grip until he reconditions his dick to ejaculate to a lighter touch. my ex had the same issue and using lube and and not watching porn helped him (well, til he went on antidepressants, but that's another story).

so take heart, anon, it's not your fault.

No. 103541

no yeah, if i go straight for the clit, its only if nothing else is working that day and my hand is getting tired

No. 103542

This is not normal. I agree that the guy probably has a porn addiction. Did you ask him about that?

No. 103543

You can also masturbate over your clothes/underwear.

No. 103551

I really like submissive guys and tying them up. My bf is not specifically into this but wants me to tie him up anyway because he knows I like it.
Thing is though, I only like it if the guy is really into it, even better if he's kind of embarrassed about it but can't hide it. I think it's more of a humiliation thing plus I find it really cute.
Since my bf would be just doing me a favour I'm not that excited about it but when I try to explain it to him he doesn't really understand. What do?

No. 103568

Your bf sounds like a natural submissive though, doing something specifically because you like it, not just because it gets him hard. That's super cute.

No. 103573

That’s not necessarily submissive though. Especially being tied up can be a very vanilla thing if the dynamics aren’t ‚properly’ D/s which seems to be the case with TA‘s boyfriend.

Been there, but if he doesn’t understand I can’t really offer any other advice besides trying to really make him understand what your problem is. I mean, I don’t really what part of „It doesn’t really give me any pleasure if you’re doing it for me because you know I like it, not because you do“ there is that he could not understand.

Is there maybe anything you could offer him as a kind of substitution? Like, blindfolding or anything? This way he can still feel like he’s doing you a favor and making you happy and it’s less frustrating(?) for you?

No. 103578

It's not even the being tied up part, in fact the action has nothing to do with D/s but rather SM. The fact that he doesn't even particularly enjoy it, but does it because she wants it is literally the definition of submission.

No. 103583

that's not how subs work.

No. 103584

It's exactly how subs work. It's not the action, but the intention behind the action. A lot of people mix up submissive/bottom and dominant/top.
For example, a girl regularly tells her boyfriend to tie her up and beat her. It's not really his thing, but he knows it makes her happy and does it to please her, and he gets pleasure from that. The girl isn't a sub in this situation but she is a bottom, she's still calling the shots. The man is still the sub here. The sub's main purpose is to submit to the dominant's will after all.

No. 103586

lmao, no.

No. 103587

The thing though is, a sub still enjoys doing stuff they’re not suggesting themselves because of the power dynamics. They enjoy being told what to do and serving their Dom.
That’s not the case with >>103551. He ASKS her to do this, even though he doesn’t really want it himself and anon doesn’t get what she wants from it either. It’s not a D/s situation just because you’re tied up. And that’s why they’re struggling. He can’t just fulfill the physical desire when the power dynamics is what it’s actually about in the first place.

>I only like it if the guy is really into it

>even better if he's kind of embarrassed about it but can't hide it.
>I think it's more of a humiliation thing

THIS is what a sub would behave like. Because they’re put in a situation they don’t particularly enjoy but still get pleasure out of due to the psychological factors.

No. 103589

Anyone else get extremely wet during sex, like too wet? After a couple minutes I'll just be completely soaked and it honestly kinda ruins the sensation a little because there's like 0 friction. It'll go from struggling to put it in, can barely move cause it's so big and within a few minutes we have to stop so I can wipe down cause it's just slipping out. What's the point of a big dick bf if I can't enjoy it half the time?
I don't know what to do about this

No. 103599

File: 1545279507710.gif (373.53 KB, 1200x900, 1464844269400.gif)

Alright, so this is something that is really starting to piss me off. I recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend, we are long distance, and going strong (Visiting him here in a few days) but… i literally can't cum now from masturbation, or it takes me literal hours, and it used to take me only about 4-7 mins at most. I feel so fucking pent up and even using toys wont work, i miss feeling how warm and hard he got, I miss kissing, and that deep emotional connection, how can I get over this? I used to masturbate literally every single night, and make myself cum over and over again, but it's been almost a month dry now, and i'm going fucking crazy.

No. 103600

File: 1545279867802.jpg (12.32 KB, 255x215, f45c5573c15ea627e06dffcac622b5…)

My boyfriend is really sweet and we both love each other but I'm disappointed that he doesn't initiate sex more. I have asked him about this before and he says ok but he still doesn't seem to ever be spontaneous, or take me into his arms or come over to me unprompted…he seems to love me a lot, and we have good sex when I initiate it (which he knows is difficult for me as I am very shy), it just makes me feel bad..am I doing something wrong? Do I have unrealistic expectations? Am I looking at a gift horse in the mouth?

No. 103601

Have you tried phone sex or skype sex anon. I'm not joking I'm being serious

No. 103609

File: 1545281249798.gif (176.52 KB, 160x160, 1482815807792.gif)

About every week or so we get in a video call and masturbate together, which I enjoy, it's more pleasurable than alone but I still just can't cum, it's frustrating because i feel like i'm always on the edge but I can't get over it, even with talking dirty for hours before and taking my time.

No. 103610

I don't think it's unrealistic at all, some dudes are better at it than others naturally but my boyfriend can be the same way at times, so usually, I attempt to tease him until he takes action, talking sensually, wearing lewd clothing, ect. Have you tried that or anything like it? If it doesn't work, maybe try to ask him to try something new, like set up a time frame for a surprise fucking

No. 103626

Are dudes actually into lingerie? I've never tried out wearing purposefully sexy lingerie before.

No. 103641

My ex kinda was like that. Like, he did love me and was actually quite touchy-feely, but basically never initiated sex, even though he did enjoy it.
For him sex just wasn’t as big a deal. He also masturbated like less than 5 times in a year. Not because he didn’t like it, but he just didn’t see the point in it.

Idk if it’s the same for your bf though. But I wouldn’t read too much into it.

No. 103645

They do like it, but don’t care nearly as much about as the media suggests. It’s nice to get all made up every once in a while but as soon as the action starts they don’t care anymore.

Depends on the guy though. There are some that find it a massive turn on if you keep wearing it during sex. But I’d say the majority prefers to be able to actually touch you and feel your skin.

No. 103664

>bisex man
He gonna give you STDs

No. 103672

i think most older guys are, but young guys? no

No. 103674

Uh, what do you actually say when you talk sensually ?
It sounds dumb, but I'm all ready to be sensual and shit, but I have no idea what to say

No. 103696

My boyfriend is also like >>103641 great at sex never initiates anything unless we've been making out for a solid hour, doesn't get even obvious hints, doesn't watch porn but admits to instead thinking about past sex we've had. I once drunkenly put some porn on to be a 'cool gf' during sex and he outright asked to put it off.

I think we expect all guys to be porn damaged pigs because so many so we see these decent ones as weird, but maybe they have a lower libido too. If you learn to be selfish enough to just initiate it whenever you want it, they're a treasure.

Sometimes they're too dense to notice a nice matching set but I've yet to meet a man that doesn't lose his shit over simple stockings with a belt

No. 103697

Can you train your tongue?

I have my first girlfriend and a week ago I performed oral sex on her - also a first for me. I did it twice again since and I feel like I’m really bad at it because I can’t do it very long. After about 10 minutes my tongue and especially its frenulum hurt. The last time I did it was more than 24hrs ago and the frenulum still hurts. It’s also a bit red and swollen from rubbing over my teeth.
I also became a little nauseous once from having my tongue out of my mouth for so long (which isn’t unusual - I become nauseous from sticking my tongue out for a long time without sex as well).

I’d love to be able to do it for more than a few minutes because I love the way she reacts and tastes. If it was for me I’d be eating her out all day long. But damn… just thinking about it makes my tongue ache.
Please tell me it gets better with time.

No. 103698

Op of that post here, I feel. Me and my bf are totally vanilla and we have an incredibly strong emotional connection - he is extremely gentle and sweet to me. I guess I'm used to men being sex-obsessed assholes that it takes some adjusting when you actually start dating someone who acts like a human being.

Thank you for the input.

Also, I'm a little shy to wear lingerie, but I feel like I want to someday. My boyfriend doesn't even expect me to shave or anything like that so I feel like it would be ultra brazen of me. Seconding what >>103674 said, most of our sex is purely emotionally-based and we don't really talk super dirty or sensually. So sometimes I want to say something but idk how to say it.

How hard are you doing it? Try being gentler, it can feel better if you're gentler and a tease, you can give your tongue rests and turn on your gf.

No. 103706

When I went out my ex gf I did try to train my tongue by putting my finger in my mouth. Idk, it didn't really improve my muscles(?) but I did learn how to be more gentle with it, how to move it in certain ways etc. so it def was not in vain (according to her).

No. 103708


I‘m not doing it that hard tbh, it also happens when I‘m being gentle. I asked my girlfriend and she says I‘m doing great, pressure/technique-wise.
I think it’s genuinely just from moving it so much/for such a long time out of my mouth.

I also do pause every now and then but it just doesn’t seem to be enough time to recover. Like, when I go back to using my tongue it feels like I never stopped.

No. 103718

You can use your lips when your tongue gets tired anon!

No. 103758

Do NOT just start eating ass during a BJ. Any asshole stuff is niche enough to avoid.

No. 103759

Hot damn, that is pathetic. Can’t even imagine what kind of a virgin weeb you are to actually get off to that. It blows my mind how there’s even a market for it lol

No. 103762

i guess this is more like asking for a masturbation advice but whatever. i'm a virgin and i've always been masturbating by humping stuff. i've tried to masturbate by touching my clit but it just feels too sensitive and uncomfortable. i haven't tried to finger myself yet but i think it's going to feel too sensitive as well. is there anything wrong with me or is there a right way to masturbate by directly touching your clit that i don't know about?

No. 103764

Right cause watching videos on pornhub isn't anymore pathetic. You got her, anon.

No. 103766

I think most rub around it not directly at it because it's so sensitive.

No. 103769

I never go directly for the clit. I always rub the area above it. I also find it a lot more pleasurable to rub up and down on either side of the clit (mostly the right) instead of going from left to right.

I do find fingering uncomfortable, however I’m fine with toys, especially those made out of glass.

No. 103770

It might be pathetic of her (we are on an imageboard after all) but not actually harmful like supporting the porn industry is.

No. 103771

How do you all use your fingers in your own vag anyway? I think I have t-rex arms, I can barely reach inside. Good thing the clit is outside not inside.

No. 103773

>on an imageboard
>hub for anime shit
>responding to an 8 day old post just to call them pathetic
>I-I'm totally over my weeb phase unlike you!
Did you just hop in from PULL? Chill out.

No. 103784

What's so good about those made of glass?

No. 103786

probably more if a vent but here goes…I’m bisexual in a straight relationship and I don’t like getting fucked…when we do it I always picture myself the one on “top” instead and it bums me out. I’m so uncomfortable with being in any vulnerable or exposing positions. when I had sex with women I was the same way and would rather give it out than receive…my fiance is wonderful and I’m very much in love but I know our sex life is declining and its causing him to feel unwanted. I havent told him explicitly why cause I’m afraid of him feeling sexually defeated, but I’m sure me saying “I’m not in the mood” all the time is already doing just that. He’s interested in getting fucked with a strap-on, which we havent tried just yet, but I know if I had it my way I’d just fuck him all the time RIP. I want to be more dominant but I know he prefers to be as well and it’s canceling out. i just feel terrible and stupid.

No. 103787

idk if my vag is weird but i don't really have to reach too far to hit the right spot, like just half of my fingers lenght is good.

Also I was just wondering… How can you tell if you're tight? Like can you measure it with fingers or. what.

No. 103820

i can't get down to otome cd shit. japanese is just too feminine for me.

No. 103827

Same disposition and that's my nightmare anon, falling in love with a dom. Sounds awful.
How does he feel about cowgirl? That might make you feel more in control as well as provide his desire for vaginal. Unless he's also into gross shit like holding you down, choking, and hair pulling.

No. 103874

Fuck him asap before things start to fall apart. If you could regularly rotate top/bottom that would be good.

Best scenario is him turning in to a butt slut if he finds it enjoyable enough, would be no compromises in your relationship then.

No. 103878

Is it normal to start crying when a penis goes deep in your vagina? My eyes well up and tears stream down my face because the fullness feels so good. How do I stop this cause I'd rather not have my boyfriend think I'm crying while he's fucking me and I'd rather not look like a mess.

No. 103879

No. 103891

It's surprisingly common to cry during sex but it depends on what you emotionally are feeling. As long as it feels good and you're happy there's nothing to worry about. I also cry during sex because I get overwhelmed by positive emotion. I thought there was something wrong with me but looking online there seems to be plenty of women who do the same.

No. 103897

ladies I need some advice on how to handle a big dick. Recently started seeing this guy and I pulled out his dick and its MASSIVE. I've only had sex with average penises plus I'm a very small person so i'm afraid of having my vagina ripped to shreds. Any advice?

No. 103900

as long as you're properly aroused, you should be good.

No. 103901


This is the sex advice thread, not brag about your bfs big dick thread like a teen.

Yes I'm jealous.

No. 103902

If it isn't comfortable don't do it basically. Maybe you are mismatched, maybe you are not.

No. 103903

it's also not the jelly cunt thread either, but you posted anyway.

No. 103906

>I'm a very small person so i'm afraid of having my vagina ripped to shreds.
Ot, but I always wondered about this: does the size/tightness of your vagina really correlate with your height?

No. 103907

No. 103908

Get a big dildo to practice

No. 103910

Thanks anon I'd never heard anyone else talk about this. Yeah I get this overwhelming feeling of happiness. Did your partner ever question why you're crying or notice? I'm worried he's going to notice and it will put him off.

No. 103917

Definitely no.
My ex once told me how his ex was very tight (in fact so tight it sometimes was uncomfortable for him) and her and I are basically the same height. I‘m on the wider side though.

No. 103979

You're not alone. I don't outright cry, but I can sometimes feel it almost happening esp during missionary. That's a really emotionally intimate position for me.

Just be honest with him. If he's not a moron he'll understand that the body sometimes just has a weird reaction to things.

Lots of lube and go slow. I'm not sure if its something you can adjust to though. My ex had a huge dick and I just never could get used to it. Got to a point where I dreaded sex bc I knew it would be painful and that just didn't help me relax, which made it painful, etc.

I'd imagine height might have some correlation with depth, but I'm no gynecologist.

No. 104008

File: 1545755272614.jpg (99.87 KB, 921x640, 1544606203367.jpg)

How do you enjoy sex?
I feel like I've never really enjoyed having sex.
What I enjoy the most is the feeling of anticipation and being wanted, but the actual process of sex is extremely unsatisfying, painful or boring.
I've both had sex in and out of long term relationships and it usually feels the same. It's "exciting" for the first couple of times (maybe a couple of months in a long term relationship) and then it suddenly becomes a chore.
I'm finding it difficult to discern whether I genuinely dislike sex as a whole, or if I become unattracted to the people I'm with and my body is trying to tell me. I am attracted to my partner physically and I have been physically attracted to the other people I've been with. It almost feels as if the only thing I sexually desired is "being wanted" and "being sexy".

Also, am I a prude for not wanting to engage in any sexual activity at all when I live with my partner and their parents? They constantly reassure me that their parents can't hear it (I know they can) but I just cannot get into the mood at fucking all. The entire situation feels so fucking suffocating and forced, so when we do have sex, it's them just pumping away for however long until they cum and it's over, almost all in silence. There's never any chances to experiment or god forbid raise our voices because one of them is unemployed and stays home 24/7, every single day.

tl;dr how do you know if you truly dislike sex or if you CAN like it, but somehow every single person you've had sex with become immediately or near immediately unattractive to you and the sex sucks

No. 104009

Have sex with people you’re attracted to? Stop going into sex with this fantasy of everything being passion and flowers and go into it just looking to get off?
It’s all in your head bro, stop thinking so much and get into the physical feelings of penetration, getting eaten out, etc. Do what everyone else does in unhappy relationships and pretend it’s someone else.

No. 104011

I am similar to you anon. Even when I found a guy I found the sex to be pleasant with, I got bored and started dreading it after a few months. I think personality is more important for me in long term attraction, hence boredom once the novelty wears off or it feels like a chore.
No solution except for find someone with a sexy mind/personality.

No. 104016

There's an understanding now that your sex drive is a balance between what turns you on and inhibitors. Inhibitors are stronger than turn-ons in most people. So work on removing the inhibitors, aka move out. If you can't have sex because there's always someone there who might hear you (and his parents at that), that's really your only option.

If anon actually gets into it to get off the guy's parents are going to hear, which is awkward af. Totally understand why she can't relax.

No. 104069

Foreplay is essential and personally privacy is an absolute must for me. I have to be somewhere I can make as much noise as I want and express myself fully during sex. Then I can get fully into every sensation. Sex is a lot more than someone pumping away at you like a doll, there's a lot of trust and figuring someone out before I even let them penetrate me.

>The entire situation feels so fucking suffocating and forced

This is a problem. Please don't let him do this to you. Boundaries are something that need to be set in a trusting relationship and he's overstepping yours which is causing you to resent him. No wonder you feel no attraction to someone who is constantly causing you discomfort.

No. 104542

Are there actually that many guys that have trouble coming from getting head?

I‘ve only had sex with two guys - one easily came from it and the second one (my bf) only came from it twice in 3 years. He says he does have issues with it and has met only one other girl who‘s made him cum like that and that it doesn’t mean I‘m bad at giving head. In fact, he’s told me several times that I‘m quite good at it.

However, I sometimes feel like it is my lack of skill. But then again I see memes about guys glorifying that ~one girl that can make them cum from head.

It’s confusing. How can I tell if I’m actually good and it’s death grip or if I’m just not good enough?

No. 104543

The trick to making a guy come from a bj is to actually suck, so you can feel your cheeks go inwards

No. 104546

It really varies a lot by each guy. I have given head to guys who have finished in minutes but the guy I've been seeing takes like 20-30 minutes but says I give the best head he's ever had. It might just be that he has issues with it, like he said! But you can try different techniques and stuff to see if it would help of course.

>play with his balls/squeeze lightly

>foreplay! work your way down to his dick slowly, kiss his stomach lightly along the way
>try different bj techniques and see what he responds to best
>ask him what he wants you to do, communicate a lot and have him tell you ahead of time what would get him off

the method I use that every guy has told me is the best head he's ever had is the hand/mouth combo, kind of hard to explain but I'll try! basically just put your hand on the shaft and lightly twist around and move your head in the opposite direction if that makes sense? and make sure it's v wet. it's basically the grapefruit technique, but just ur hand, no fruit involved lmfao

it gives the sensation of constantly deep throating him

No. 104548

I've never had any issues (guys even slightly prefer it to PIV, km) and I think it's because I used to suck my thumb. Practice with your thumb and you will get used to covering your teeth with your lips+having things in there in general.

No. 104558

anyone have advice for sex with someone who overheats really easily? my boyfriend is a person who is just hot all the time in general, so of course during sex he gets uncomfortable from overheating and sweating so we end up stopping after like ten minutes. we run two fans (one on the ceiling and one from the side lol) during sex but it happens anyways. are there more creative ways to keep him cooled off that i'm not thinking of?

No. 104560

So my mental health has been shit lately and my sex drive is basically non-existent because of it. The thing is, having sex and masturbating really help calm me down. I tried masturbating yesterday and it felt like I scratching myself even though I was trying to be as delicate as possible, maybe because I was so stressed out I felt detached from my body. I ended up having an orgasm, but it took like 10 minutes more than usual and I felt sore afterwards.
Any anons have similar issues? I just want to get myself in the mood and relieve myself comfortably.

No. 104561

just always use lube.

No. 104562

this might be stupid to say, but a couple months ago i realized how much better it is for the guy if you flick/swirl your tongue, especially on that weird bit on the underside of the head.

No. 104563

Can someone tell me how the hell you get your bf to do foreplay? I am his first sexual partner and I tell him from time to time I want him to give me head/finger me/touch me/make out with me.. and he gets upset and just says he will do it next time. Then the next time comes and It's the same thing.. he pushes his dick against me and pulls out the lube and that's that.

It's so frustrating because he gets annoyed at me trying to talk to him about how to pleasure me. Why are men so selfish these days in bed??

No. 104564


Thanks you guys. It kinda affirms the assumption that it’s rather just the way my bf is than my technique cause all of those are things that I’m doing.

>start slow and build up

>suck with teeth covered and cheeks inward
>deepthroat simulation with hands (as well as real deepthroat, actually)
>play with balls, even sometimes finger his butthole a little cause he’s really into that
>swirl tongue around frenulum

He loses his mind especially over the last one, but even if I do it for 10 minutes straight he’ll still not cum. Like, he’ll not be able to talk but orgasm? Nah.
I tried sucking more once because another guy told me that got him off within seconds but my bf said it hurt.

Another thing I just remembered is that the closest we’ve been to cumming from it is after the holidays when we didn’t have sex and he didn’t masturbate for like 2 days. Usually we have sex about 2-3 times a day plus him masturbating every morning. So yeah. That probably has to do with it as well.

No. 104565

definitley think it has to do with masturbation. dudes who masturbate everyday are impossible to make cum from head unless i do a jackhammer arm motion until i get carpal tunnel, lol

No. 104566

yeah get him to stop masturbating/watching porn, doesn't seem like an issue w you

No. 104568

How to find a male partner who will orgasm easily? As in what traits affect that?
I'd rather premature ejaculation than what all these never-nut-men anons deal with.

No. 104569

How to find a male partner who will orgasm easily? As in what traits affect that?
I'd rather premature ejaculation than what all these never-nut-men anons deal with.

No. 104570

How to find a male partner who will orgasm easily? As in what traits affect that?
I'd rather premature ejaculation than what all these never-nut-men anons deal with.

No. 104571

How to find a male partner who will orgasm easily? As in what traits affect that?
I'd rather premature ejaculation than what all these never-nut-men anons deal with.

No. 104576

Maybe find a cold pack or cool patches that stay in place and don't get in the way. if you do put them on the lower back/kidneys, a lot of blood circulates through there.

No. 104577

based taste. what you want is young, dumb and full of cum.

No. 104578

Find a man who doesn’t masturbate or watch porn often. I had a Chinese bf who was a Virgin, barely watched porn or jacked off and he came just from being in the same room as me lol

If a man watches a lot of porn and jacks off a lot his dick is already ruined by death grip and porn ideas about sex. Sex is boring and too drawn out if they take to long to cum and it’s annoying too.

No. 104583

Shower sex? Maybe having sex on the floor would be cooler too.

No. 104588

So how long is too long for sex then?

I used to talk to a guy who bragged that he could last hours. At first it sounded appealing, but I don't think I'd enjoy it that long.

No. 104594

Not same anon but it really depends on the moment/situation I feel? I've had sex for 4 hours recently with this guy I'm mad into and I have to admit it was great but it really did drag on for so long. I would have been happy at two. We even stopped halfway through to grab some water lol. There are other times where I've had sex for 10 minutes and it's just as good as having sex for a half hour. I'd say 15-30 minutes is good enough as long as there is a decent amount of foreplay beforehand, but even an hour tops is fine.

No. 104666

how do I stop being so goddamn horny all the time? I would have sex 3x a day if I could

No. 104723

why do straight guys want to eat a girls ass? it doesn’t feel good at all tbh.

No. 104726

i don't understand how any kind of anal stimulation would feel good for a woman, maybe it's the psychological aspect of it, i don't know. i think most of these guys who are into anal or eating ass are probably way too influenced by porn or are gay in denial

No. 104727

i like it, its very tingly

No. 104728

the asshole has a lot of nerves anon, it does feel good. i feel like most women who don't like it just have hangups about it being their butt. or like in your case associate it with their guy being gay. it's okay to be massively insecure, anon!

No. 104734

if you enjoy anal you do you, i just personally don't see what's there for it to be enjoyable. and yeah, it's pretty gay if a guy prefers anal to piv

No. 104737

eh licking or a massage around the asshole is alright, but actual anal isn't enjoyable at all imo

getting your ass ate isn't anything to write home about, when you have a whole clitoris to work with tbh

No. 104739

He sounds like a lost cause, and if it's only about him why have sex together? Dump him.
I literally feel nothing in this area, so any stimulation there is boring as hell. Maybe some women have their nerves aligned so they like it but don't shit on those who don't.

No. 104740

do you feel the same about a man who refuses to have his ass eaten?

No. 104741

You can dislike it even without hangups. I used to enjoy anal sex with a partner who always got me off with dp, but it's not something I can be bothered to do ever again. I let my current partner try eating it once but I'd rather do something different and now he's done it he also got over the taboo appeal. I respect other people enjoy different things but it doesn't make you prude or asexual if you don't enjoy anal.
I'd rather not risk roids from penetration or causing ecoli poisoning either

No. 104742

Anal doesn’t feel the same to everyone though. Sometimes the nerves are placed in such a way that anal stimulates the same kind of nerves as your clitoris/g-spot. But to some it just feels like pooping in reverse.

That’s bullshit. The asshole feels extremely different from a vagina. It’s tighter, has a completely different texture, different muscle movements… you just can’t compare the two. Therefore men might enjoy some variation once in while, some prefer the one some the other.
And you know what makes a man gay? Being into men. Liking dicks, flat, hairy chests, beards.
A man can enjoy fucking a girl’s ass while playing with her clitoris, fingering her, playing with her breasts etc. That not what a gay man would do for pleasure.
It‘s the same as saying any girl that likes being fingered or eaten out is a lesbian just because that’s what lesbians do, too.

No. 104752

I spent all my formative years being a virginal anachan and now I want to experiment more sexually but I fell in love w this dude that, although I adore, very rarely makes me come and my sex drive has shot up. I'm considering suggesting a monogamish relationship (occassional sex with STDless people with advance permission) but I don't want him to take it badly or think I'm going to cheat. I just have a much higher sexdrive and we're into very different sex acts.

No. 104753

fuck off and just date someone else. if sex is important and it doesn't work then it won't work out.

No. 104755

So generally my bf gets horny and I let him fuck me even though I'm not horny myself. It's not satisfying because I feel pressured to orgasm without having a "warm up" beforehand and he'll hold off as long as possible but generally cums before me. He'll feel guilty and will try to help me finish but at that point he's not into it at all (which is a huge turn-off for me). Recently he said that when he does try to initiate foreplay, I don't enjoy it either. But most of the time he just goes straight to rubbing my vag, ofc I'm not going to enjoy that?

I feel bad because I could tell that this upsets him. There are times where we have great sex but idk what's different. I have no idea how to fix this problem. I'm sorry I can't be horny 24 hours a day like him?

No. 104756

because he's not a mind reader?? tell him exactly what kind of foreplay you need! most women like the "straight to rubbing my vag" type and would consider that foreplay, and you don't so tell him that!

No. 104757

Oral and fingering can be performed by both men and women and be enjoyable, you do know that women don't have prostates right?

No. 104761

I let him know that I don't like that and ik it sounds embarrassing but I'm not really sure what I like (before sex, I know exactly what I like during sex, thankfully)? I guess the best I can think of is when he mentions sex casually throughout the day so I'm thinking about it and I know it's coming later, that makes me really horny. I've read some online tips and they seem really dorky ngl lol.

No. 104762

so tell him that? tell him verbal foreplay really turns you on

No. 104766

Is this your first sexual relationship?
Letting him just fuck you when you're not into it, even if you're telling yourself that you don't really mind, can cause lasting psychological associations that can damage your ability to actually enjoy sex. What happens if you tell him you don't feel like it? I'm actually kind of worried anon

As for finding what works for you, this sounds cliche but I recommend lots of self touching when you're calm eg in the bath so you know what works best on yourself. I don't want to be an asshole but if aren't able to tell him you enjoy dirty talk, the both of you need to work on communicating as a couple.

No. 104780

I started dating someone recently and he is obsessed with licking my butthole. I've never encountered this before and I guess I'm okay with it (as long as I don't have to kiss him afterwards) just don't understand what the appeal is of eating an ass. Can anyone explain?

No. 104789

It's taboo, considered filthy, associated with degeneracy, etc. It could potentially be risky (even a squeaky clean butt can harbor harmful bacteria). It also puts the receptive partner in an extremely vulnerable position. He's exposing a body part that is rarely seen and touched, and shoving his face right in it. Maybe he likes that aspect of it? Ask him and see what he says.

No. 104791

It can feel really good, I find that it feels like an intense g spot stimulation

No. 104792

My boyfriend is obsessed with anal and is a former porn addict, I've always been convinced that's the reason. I've done anal with him a couple times and it sucked for me because I didn't prep to loosen it a little and he just jammed it in with a bunch of lube and his dick is pretty big. The only time anal ever felt good for me was using a small vibrator and the reason I liked it because I could feel the vibrations in my vagina lol. I really wish porn didn't brainwash dudes into liking anal, I hate having to do an enema to be clean just to get no pleasure out of sex.

No. 104797

Damn some posts here are like reading about the Victorian period. No ladies, you don't have to lie back and think of England while suffering through sex acts you don't want. You can say no, tell him what you like and dump him if he doesn't listen.
We might have escaped the 1800s and gone through decades of feminism but porn is really shaping men negatively now to be selfish rapey bastards. However that doesn't mean we have to accept it.

No. 104799

exactly, I find it really sad that a lot of problems here could be easily resolved with simply saying "no". It reads like such a thought never goes through anons' heads since "my bf likes it". Respect yourselves more

No. 104800


time to turn the tables and insist on pegging him.

"Either everyone's butt is game or no one's is"

You can also say no.

No. 104812

To me it literally feels like an internal clitoral stimulation, while during PIV I most of the time feel nothing.
It‘s anatomy and also a mental thing. For some women it works, for some it doesn’t. No reason to shame either.

However, no one should ever feel obliged to do it just bc their bf wants it. If you don‘t want it (for whatever reason), don‘t do it.

No. 104820

I'll try letting him know again but his previous attempts at talking dirty were so bad omg.

Yeah I could see how all of this sounds bad out of context but the worst that would happen if I said I wasn't into it is he'd stop and I'd feel guilty. He'd immediately stop if I told him. I totally appreciate your concern though because creating negative associations sounds serious.

He's my first sexual partner but we've been together for 7 years. For the first few years I was actually the one who was horny all the time, we'd sometimes have sex multiple times a day. Then something changed Idk if it was because I started taking the pill (not on that one anymore but idk what the lasting effects are) or maybe because I started having issues with my body image but I blamed it on just getting older but I'm only 25… I used to love touching myself and now I just kind of get bored halfway through. I have no imagination so that doesn't help lol. I'd say it would feel better if he was able to touch me and surprise me but I normally touch myself when we're having sex because my clit is so sensitive that anything other than the most delicate touch is painful. I don't even like vibrators because they're too strong lol. Idk maybe this is worth talking to my doctor about now that I think about it. I just wish I could go back to how I was a few years ago, it feels so much worse when you know what you're missing out on.

No. 104821

My bf has this weird fantasy of me tormenting him by hitting on other guys and he being all jealous about it and feeling humiliated. It’s honestly a turn off for me because I see his as a major cuck when he’s like this.
The problem is, he has developed a major thing for this and nothing seems to be exciting him more than this fantasy. Before all this, he was centered around giving me pleasure, but all other sexual things have now become awkward on his part, when he tries to initiate something, it feels super awkward and when I try to, he just doesn’t seem too responsive.
However, when it comes to this one thing, that I’m starting to hate, he gets into major mood and is all crazy about cumming to the fantasy.

Starting to feel sexually unsatisfied and resentful, any ideas what to do?

No. 104827

Whenever i put anything inside my vag i feel like i need to pee. Even if my bladder is completely empty. It's really intense and really unconfortable. Does this happen to anyone else? How can i stop it?

No. 104829

Is there any way to make missionary more fun? I feel like there's not much I can do except lie there.

No. 104832

Kiss? Grab his hair, neck or back?

No. 104833

grab his ass and fuck back

No. 104835

Make sure to spank it too.

No. 104838

I try but he's like more than twice my size lol.

No. 104839

you're looking for excuses. unless he's forcibly holding you down which, in that case, he needs to work on his stroke game too.

No. 104840

I guess.

I just still kinda dislike missionary cuz of dudes like >he's forcibly holding you down

No. 104842

Dirty talk. It can push a guy over the edge if you know what he likes and do it convincingly. I like kissing/biting along his shoulder/neck while I whisper dirty stuff and moan in his ear. Also a few of the guys I've been with really enjoy when I scratch their back.

No. 104868

If you don't like it then don't do it ffs

No. 104871

This quote should be in the op.

No. 104899

Then get a dude who isn't a dom if you aren't a sub?
Basically >>104868

No. 104903

what can i use as vaginal lube if i don't want to have a bottle of real lube around my house?

No. 104906

No. 104909

I didn't say I've never done that. I'm not into it really expect for the fact its degrading to him. I'm a switch and he's leans more dom and I like to make him feel like a little bitch sometimes, it's only fair.

No. 105013

I use coconut oil because it's not sticky like normal lube but it can get a bit messy. Don't use it with condoms/silicone though.

No. 105052

this is a dumb question but i dont understand rimming or why it feels good for either person or why people do it

No. 105071

I can't help you soon but if you search this thread for it, it pops up a lot?

No. 105133

File: 1546908477474.jpg (66.81 KB, 1080x703, IMG_20181230_065219.jpg)

Guys, how do I cum? Like honestly. I was raised in a household that rejected a lot of normal teen stuff like masturbating/watching porn. I was also extremely sexually dormant before I got with my bf, meaning that even if I hadn't been raised like that I probably wouldn't have tried to flick the bean anyway. Now that I'm with my bf (we lost our virginities to each other) I love fucking. It's kinda like I'm making up for lost time in a sense? And while I love sex and it's really pleasurable and I can make my bf cum no problem, there's been no luck for me. Ever.

I have ADHD and I thought that maybe that my lack of focus is what couldn't let me nut, but I still can't even on adderall. Sometimes while my bf is fingering me (my fav btw) I feel like I have to pee really bad and my heart beats so fast and it's overwhelming in a lot of ways so I have to ask him to stop. If I asked him to keep going do you think I could get there?

I really do love my boyfriend and I love everything we do in the foreplay department and the sex on its own is great, but I want to have an orgasm at least once and it's killing me. 0I can't ever really get turned on to porn, erotica, or like my own touch so I doubt I can coax one out on my own. I'm beginning to think it's impossible guys. And yeah, I know thinking about wanting an orgasm during the act can stop you from having one entirely, but I can't get it out of my head. Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.

No. 105134

Some of what you seems might possibly be a panic disorder, maybe get help for that?

I think it's easier to learn how to have an orgasm yourself through masturbation and then work your way up to having an orgasm with someone else.

No. 105136

It’s not dirty or gross or slutty or anything negative your family might have told you.
Put on something that makes you feel sexy, and just casually explore. There’s zero pressure, and if you’re uncomfortable you can just stop. Try new things with your partner, like external clitoral stimulation or vibrators, maybe that will help.
Good luck.

No. 105139

look at stuff that turns you on, rub something against your clit until you think you can't take it and just keep going

No. 105140

Definitely masturbate. It seems like you need to be comfortable with that need to pee feeling, because that usually means you're about to cum.

No. 105141

Adding that you can do it in the shower if you're scared of actually peeing
Make a night of it, have a glass of wine and have some nice music on

No. 105144

I said this before but i also feel an overwhelming urge to pee during fingering or penetration, and it's so distracting that there's no way i can cum like that.
I'll post here if i find a way around that but hopefully you figure it out before me.
I have never been able to cum with another person because there's no way they can imitate my clit tecniques and penetration makes me want to pee so badly that it kills the mood for me.
I know the struggle, don't give up though.

No. 105149

that's normal lol. it's not actually pee, you won't piss yourself. relax and allow yourself to cum.

No. 105178

File: 1546960895725.jpg (39.24 KB, 600x600, 63c0d96ec9e1e56e0b6987a3812abf…)

Is it?? Thanks for letting me know i'm not a freak of nature, i've asked some friends about this before and they've said they've never experienced it.
Nature is a douchebag tho, that feeling is very stressful and offputting.

No. 105285

I get the pee thing when masturbating. Its not actually pee but it makes a mess, I only went past the point where I felt like this once and it freaked me out but it definitely wasnt pee.

No. 105290

I just don't know how my body is suppose to move when in cowgirl position and I can see that it's not doing anything for my partner.. Can someone help me? Also I feel like a dead fish, is there a way I can be more active during sex?

No. 105331

female ejaculation / squirting = urine

No. 105356

Is it silly of me to get jealous of the fact that my bf jerks off to porn. I know its considered normal but it upsets me that he gets hard to another woman's body?

It's also hypocritical bc i watch porn as well but I do it because watching the act of sex turns me on, idc what the guy in the video looks like. Whereas he has told me he'll pick a video where he thinks the girl in it is good looking :(

No. 105357

if he's also okay with you masturbating to another man's body then it's fair

No. 105359

That is hypocritical anon.
Be upset if he's into stuff you're not into (like hardcore degradation unless you like that), is an addict and is ignoring you for it, or is watching necro/pedo shit.
I know it doesn't really help the emotions but it is irrational. I'd still dislike it but I literally draw porn so I know I need to get over this before dating lol.

No. 105360

It's silly because you are also wanking to porn.
There are real, actual reasons to detest the porn industry.

No. 105361

Yea I understand this.
It's just.. I don't get off to the guy, where as i'm pretty sure how the girl looks matters to him, meaning he's cumming to the body of some random chick ..

No. 105362

who cares, you can't know that for sure, he probably thinks the same. plus would you watch porn of people you found gross? if not there's an obvious physical element there.

No. 105363

Perhaps i'm being stupid.
I have actually brought this up with him and he says just because he finds "some slut's" body nice, doesn't mean he has feelings for them.
But no I literally watch porn with the ugliest dudes (since most porn is focused on girls. I mean male porn actors are not exactly known for their looks)

No. 105365

that's not what i asked i asked about people you found gross, not ugly and nor did i explicitly say anything about men. i think you're being a hypocritical retard like everyone else said. fix your insecurity before you fuck up your relationship. you idiots shouldn't even be watching porn if you are going to freak out assume he's attracted to porn stars, clearly your relationship is too fragile.

No. 105367

>watching porn for the woman
Still another person lel. If anything it's "worse" since your bf isn't even a woman.

No. 105369

No I watch it because the act of the sex turns me on.
I don't care what the man/ woman looks like !

No. 105370

what does that mean? i'm pretty sure most people in general aren't really like that. what about animated porn?

No. 105371

If I feel horny watching sex helps me.
umm not animated, basically whatever pops up on the pornhub homepage kind of thing.

No. 105373

so then you like seeing people not just "sex". either way you sound fucking stupid.

this isn't even sex related, it makes more sense to have gone in the relationship advice thread. it's clearly not affecting you sexually, you just have an unwarranted hypocritical insecurity.

No. 105377

I kinda get you. I don't watch porn much anymore and when I did I never thought too much about the actors. My bf watches it much more than me and apparently has some favorite actresses, which I find weird and a bit gross but it doesn't affect our sex life. As long as he's not a pornsick degenerate or tries to shame you for being not like the porn stars it's not a big deal. Maybe just ask him not to talk about it.

No. 105382

This is more of a vent than asking for advice but…

guys expect you to gasp every time they put it in when I have pulled out dry tampons bigger

No. 105383

I guess I disagree that dicks feel the same as tampons, but I can see how gasping might not feel true to reality. I always sigh like I'm getting into a hot tub. It communicates that it's satisfying to him, and it's a lot more honest with how I feel too, because it definitely feels good, just not surprising or gasp inducing. Idk tho maybe my bf is big.

No. 105404

no i think that's right. i also agree it's important to communicate your pleasure during sex. what anon said is fucking weird.

No. 105413

i mean, wouldn't you think it's rude/awkward if a guy didn't react at all to you sitting on his dick or whatever?

No. 105417

clearly not, that bitch pulls out dry tampons. she should be in jail.

No. 105439

how to get my bf to dominate me? he thinks dominating is just being a douche bag vs an intimate power exchange. (like words/phrases I could use to explain the basic concept of a dom sub relationship better?) he's so vanilla and stubborn I can't take it much longer.

No. 105441

forgot to add, his is interested in me being submissive but doesn't get why I don't just submit to him suddenly being a jerk in the least sexy way.

No. 105448

show him a good example.

No. 105508

So, I want to have sex with a girl. I have no idea how to start or what to do. Im afraid im going to be really bad but she wont want to hurt my feelings by telling me. ny tips?

No. 105549

I hate cowgirl lmao even though it makes the dick go in really deep, I’m not trying to have a workout in the middle of sex. When I do want to give him a break though, i just end up leaning over on my arms and knees and twerk on his dick, it conserves the most energy. But if it doesn’t feel that good for him then why bother. Try spooning or doggystyle so you can back up on him if you feel like being more active.

No. 105550

1. Get over yourself and communicate
2. Tell her to get over herself and communicate
3. ???
4. Profit

No. 105551

Maybe you can find reading material to go through together about what being d/s really means. And try some roleplaying to start with and see if it does anything for him. Lots of dudes just don’t have the certain natural affinity and innate understanding for it.

No. 105553

I've kinda resorted into just doing what makes me feel good in cowgirl instead of trying to think about him, my bf says he likes the position mostly because it gives him a good show and he gets off more to see me enjoy it rather than the actual act itself. You can always ask him if what he would like for you to do if he looks like he's not enjoying it much.

And for the dead fish thing, move your hips, your hands, show him that what he's doing feels good. Like just in a missionary position you can thrust your hips a bit, grab his hair, move your hands along his back, moan in his ear etc..

No. 105661

Oh gosh, yall I need help. The last two guys I was with were super vanilla and hated doing anything that wasn't just them getting off and leaving me to my own devices.

My new guy is into a lot of kinky stuff, and he's into butt stuff for himself. I've no idea how to handle this, I'm not turned off but how do you even begin doing that during sex with a guy?
He said he doesn't expect me to do anything with him in that way but since I know he likes it, I feel like I should help.

No. 105692

finger his ass while he fucks you in missionary

No. 105694

Use a dildo so you don't have to touch him directly…I wouldn't.

No. 105756

Okay so my issue is I don't know if I straight up don't enjoy sex or my bf isn't good? He was my first and I love him as a person but I cant take it anymore with the sex stuff. It hurts quite often because he is quite big, but other than that it feels like nothing. I have never had an orgasm with him but I can alone. It makes me feel so useless you know? The whole time I just want it over with.
I clearly have some sex drive but I don't think its very high. I would hate to break up with him just to realise I am the issue and I just hate sex. Considering every straight male loves sex I feel so lost, anyone else felt like this?

No. 105760

I felt like that with some boyfriends in my age group, then I dated an older, very experienced guy and now I can't get enough. He's very attentive about foreplay and knows just how to hit all the right spots to make my toes curl every time.

No. 105766

Anyone else /postcoitalbleeding/ here?

>Sex is great

>Want it nearly everyday
>Recently started getting Mittelschmerz every month
>Always use lube, never feels dry or sore


No. 105771

I was in the same situation a few months ago. Found out the guy I was with really likes having his butthole licked and fingered, and needless to say that sort of thing doesn't turn me on at all.
But I figured it was good juju for me to give it a shot, because I'd want him to try stuff to me even if it wasn't necessarily his cup of tea either.

I don't do it much. Just on the occassion when I give him a blowjob I stick a finger in his butt, but I'm careful because I have fingernails. If he looks clean and doesn't smell I'll give him a lick.

Maybe it needn't be said, but if your man isn't very clean you absolutely have the right to tell him you're not going to do it. My bf cleans out his butt well and isn't a gross neckbeard, so most of the time I'm okay with it. It's actually a little fun making him squirm.

No. 105804

File: 1547452160540.png (299.63 KB, 540x478, tumblr_pebmrwtZfi1smb2g0_540.p…)

Is it degenerate to sext? I've posted in /soc/ threads looking for eboyfriends but always end up sexting and roleplaying. I don't send nudes or anything (just my face sometimes) but after all is said and done, I feel pathetic. Does anyone else here feel the same way or have any advice for this? I've never had a boyfriend or any kind of physical relationship. Discord sexting is my only sexual outlet.

No. 105805

>I've posted in /soc/ threads looking for eboyfriends
Ew are you serious? Fucking why?

No. 105806

Ooh my last bf was into this! I always told myself I'd never be down to touch a man's asshole but I was so in love with this guy I sucked it up and it ended up being so fun for both of us. First, you really should be starting by asking him what he likes. But here's my experience: Rule of thumb - Most guys like the prostate massage more than the in-out motion of a finger. If you know where your G-spot is, the prostate is basically in that exact same position in his ass. You'll be able to feel it, it's soft and spongey. It was always fun to start teasing him after going down on him for a bit. We would always have to pause to get some lube. Also I made sure my fingernails were short. One more thing: No matter how clean he is, it's inevitable you're going to get shit on your hands. It's not a big deal. The way I handled this was just by not looking at my hand when we were done until I had a chance to wash it!

You need to tell your bf what feels good to you, he can't read your mind. Masturbate in front of him so he can see how you like to be touched. Communicate with him. You're not broken, sex can and will be enjoyable for you. Sex is not supposed to hurt. Relax, take it slow, and use lube.

lolol I'm the same way, I have a handful of penpals from /soc/. I even dated a guy from there for several months a few years ago. He ended up being a bit psycho (yeah I know big surprise) but in a fun way because he was also quite wealthy.

Sexting strangers is a little degenerate but it's also fun? But I understand the pathetic feeling. It's the reason I don't really do it much anymore. You finish cybering and your hormones are going crazy and suddenly realize you're by yourself in your room. It's a bummer. My recommendation to you would be to either fully embrace this habit or quit it if it's making you sad. Maybe it's time to date a 3D boy.

No. 105822

File: 1547482635628.jpg (27.7 KB, 500x470, tumblr_inline_oxb4cvpiog1qhscz…)

Any anons here dealing with erectile dysfunction?

My bf has a very high libido and initiates sex all the time. He gets rock hard very easily but if we start going he loses it after about 5 minutes. This happens pretty much half the times we have sex. It happens when he's sober too so it's not whiskey dick or anything. At first I though it was because he was nervous but it's definitely not that anymore.
I read somewhere that if it's not psychological it could be a cardiovascular problem and that the blood is needed somewhere else in the body so it leaves the penis and now I'm worried af.
Is there anything I can do or should I try to convince him to see a doctor?

No. 105824

Get him to wear a c-ring after he gets hard. Will keep the blood where it should be.

No. 105833

Does he jerk off a lot? It may be a porn addiction. It's very common among young men, nowadays.

No. 105835

maybe a hormonal imbalance?

No. 105857

He's pornsick for sure.

No. 105862

test for total and bioavailable testosterone.
test for FSH.
test for LH.
test for estradiol.
If needed - aromatase assey.

Make sure he is not in any prescription medication like SSRIs/SNRIs/tricyclics/atypical dopamine antagonists

If all else fails instead of opting straight away for viagra, you might want to look to an atypical dopamine agonist like Modafinil.

No. 105867

I never thought of that but it sounds fun might try it

I don't know, he doesn't watch more porn or jerk off more than other guys I've been with, just the normal amount, but I guess it still could be it. Does he just have to stop jacking off to get over it?

Wow that's a lot haha but it could be that, if it's his thyroid it would explain why he's so skinny
I've convinced him to see a doctor and booked an appointment so will probanly find out soon thank you guys for the advice.

No. 105905

so i was in this thread a while back worrying that my bf not coming from sex was either psychological or something i was doing wrong, turns out this mf jacks off when he's bored. always ask about his masturbation/porn habits first, girls. the answer isn't always therapy. sometimes, he's just jerking off 16 fucking times a day. goddamn.

No. 105961

How do I stop masturbating to a thought I find disgusting?
About a month ago I was staying over with my older sister and her husband. I got up to go to the bathroom and decided to peer into their room. They were having sex. I should have walked away but it looked like he was hurting her. He was holding her down by her wrists and was really ramming his dick inside her. My sister starts saying stuff to him like "cum inside me" and "I want you to make me pregnant again". Now I had the confirmation that he wasn't forcing her, it was just rough intense sex, I should have left. I didn't. I stood there and watched until he blew his load inside her. It was the hottest thing I have ever seen. When I got back to my room I fingered myself to the best orgasm I've had in my life. Now I can't stop thinking about it and fantasize about loosing my virginity to my sister's husband. It's really wrong.

No. 105962

Is he out of shape? Some guys just don't have the cardio to keep up with good sex for long. If he's getting tired that could be it.

No. 105966

you probably find it hot due to the taboo nature of it. it was being done to your sister, by a guy that's off-limits. what exactly is it that bothers you about this fantasy? do you think if push comes to shove, you would pursue it irl? if it stays a fantasy, i don't see much point in stressing over it.

No. 107081

Will not masturbating for a while help me to start cumming from cunnigulis whenever my s/o plays around with my clit? I do feel good but i can never cum and i believe thats mainly because i kept masturbating at least 3 times/day for years…

I also think of buying a vibrator or some other sex toy but i feel like my s/o is not that comfortable w/ the idea of it. But even so, any suggestion for beginner? Maybe some magic wand, something like that?

No. 107100

Maybe you shouldn't buy a vibro if you want to finally be able to cum from oral. I've got one for myself and it's absolutely amazing for masturbation but I can't feel shit from oral

No. 107117

Plenty of younger siblings have crushes on their older siblings SOs. As long as you don't seek her husband out to try and fuck him then I don't see the problem.

BUT I find it very odd that you watched your sister get fucked to where you could literally see a dick going inside of her, and that you didn't even consider that being weird. Forget the husband and think about watching your sister get pounded–does that not strike you as fucking weird?

You're not the first person who has watched two people have sex, or possibly a family member having sex, but I just have to say that it's seriously nuts what being horny does to humans.

No. 107118

Have any of you actually had mind-blowing sex from a hookup on an app like Tinder, Bumble, etc?

NOT considering using these apps because I'm in a relationship but I want to ask anyway.

No. 107128

i have once, but the guy was absolutely insane and i ghosted him almost immediately after.

No. 107234

I don't think so. I masturbate at most once a week and I still can't come from oral. Though, nothing makes me cum, clit wise, except my own hand.

No. 107238

Most of the time I don’t really feel very horny or have a high sex drive. Except when I’m sleeping, I’m horny as fuck in my dreams and sometimes the majority of my dream is me masturbating. The sexual pleasure feels a lot more intense in my dreams than irl too. Anyway what is up with that? Horny in my sleep but not when I’m awake?

No. 107242

OH MY GOD ME TOO. In daily life I really dgaf, don't masturbate or have time to anyway, have good sex now and then, but in my dreams I shove everything up my ass and they are always insanely horny ordeals. I've never seen someone else with the same situations tbh, all my dreams are like WHAT WILL I FUCK NEXT??? and I dunno why. The pleasure is better in them too. I'm not like sexually repressed irl but these dreams have always been like this

No. 107283

this is pretty funny, outrageously horny dreams anon

No. 107284

please explain how it feels in your dreams, i'm insanely curious. everyone i've talked to about it agrees that for them, sex dreams basically feel like edging.

No. 107303

I am glad my ridiculously horny dreams amuse you. One time, I had a dream that I was locked in a post apocalyptic orange factory and shoved every orange up my ass.

Tbf I do get why it's kind of like edging, for me all the sex is just as intense and pleasurable as irl, just a bit more given I'm magically taking a 10foot dick, but also nothing is ever enough if that makes sense. I'm not this much of a psycho deviant IRL I swear my dreams are fucking insane though. I've also randomly had dreams where I'm in a harem of like 30 women, have had my husband morph into a hamster and disappear while seducing him, have ran around the city as a giant like Reptar ravenously searching for the D, have banged the aquatic guy from hellboy in a bouncy castle, that I fucked the Simpsons version of Elvira with a strap on, and that I married Willy wonka with a limited edition candy cane in my ass

I sincerely wish I was fucking kidding. I have no idea where this shit comes from and it's absolutely bizarre

No. 107332

I'm >>105822 and turns out my boyfriend has a heart condition and is on beta blockers now. Just putting it out there in case anyone else here has that problem, if nothing else explains it he should see a doctor because it could be something more serious

No. 107336

Not trying to pry but can you give more details, possibly on how he found out? Did he just tell the doctor about the dick issue and they went from there or was it hard to diagnose? Was he 100% sure it wasn't anxiety related the whole time, and also did he have any other symptoms related to the heart thing? Sorry for grilling you

No. 107343

Was masturbation also an issue, or just partnered activities?

No. 107347

It's ok. We went to a regular doctor at first and told him about the problem and after examining him he said he has high blood pressure and that he should see a cardiologist for his heart. So we went to a cardiologist, he did an ecg i think it's called, and an ultrasound and diagnosed him with mitral valve prolapse, which he said isn't serious for now, but is causing an irregular heartbeat so he gave him meds for that and the blood pressure. Basically his heart was working overtime so that's why he had trouble keeping an erection.
I was sure it wasn't anxiety because we've been together for a long time and he had no reason to be nervous anymore, plus it didn't happen every time we had sex. I guess he did have some symptoms, he got out of breath kinda easily but I assumed that was because he doesn't really work out is skinny as hell, and he also had palpitations sometimes but I thought that was pretty common cause I get those sometimes too. Maybe should have taken that more seriously

I don't really know but he said he didn't do it too much anyway, can't be sure though

No. 107704

Amused anon reporting, my dreams are actually very similar! Also, outrageously horny when a sex dream with lots of butt stuff (whyyyyy?) and similarly random. My dreams are usually some type of adventure or quest but nothing makes sense and everything changes all the time and it has the quality of what I imagine an acid trip to be like. We might be dream twins or sisters.
I wish I could recall specific images. Thanks for sharing your funny dreams!

No. 107721

I would never go after my sister's husband. I couldn't hurt her like that. I don't even think he's that attractive either. I get why she likes him, he goes to the gym, has big muscles and he always treats her really well but he's also ginger with a lot of body hair. It does nothing for me which is one of the many reasons this creeps me out.

>Forget the husband and think about watching your sister get pounded–does that not strike you as fucking weird?

The incest element in this does disgust me.

I have thought a lot about why this happened. I've never had a boyfriend and I've never really thought much about sex before. This was my first experience of seeing sex IRL. It's sort of awoken a new interest in me. While watching your sister's husband cum inside her is definitely not something I would recommend, it has made me think about my future. Is it that I'm fantasizing about being with my sister's husband or is it that I'm fantasizing about being in my sister's position? I see that she's happy being in a relationship. I think I'm starting to come round to the idea that I might want that as well.

No. 107801

I doubt it's about your sister's husband. Just the act itself and probably if you saw that happen in front of your eyes by people you don't know it would have been the same case. Don't know if this is good advice but maybe finding and watching some porn that interests you will take your mind off the specific person you direct your horniness to in your mind lol. Hope you find a nice boyfriend to try out some stuff with in the future anon

No. 107802

it seems like you're putting a rationalization to your fantasy. i agree with other anon, hope you find a nice boyfriend to have enjoyable sex with, in the meantime maybe buy yourself a vibrator or dildo or find some good PIV sex clips to masturbate to.

No. 107804

Couldn't find a relationship general, so I'm sorry if this off topic:

Hi all, I'm a 27 year old woman and I have a lot of difficulty having romantic relationships because I don't have a frame of reference. I've had sex before, even dated a guy for 3 years, but I felt uncomforable the whole time… Just didn't know what to do with myself, if I was doing things right or not. Not just sexually, but just interacting in general.

Like, suppose you met someone, felt you have mutual attraction, went on a date or two, kissed… Then what?How do you know if you actually want to be with that person? What do you do/talk about when you two spend time together? What are the first weeks like? The first year? What do you do together, what do you do individually? How much of yourself do you share and how much do you keep to yourself?

What I'm asking for, I guess, is a ballpark of what a real, fulfilling relationship is like.

Thanks in advance

No. 107805

Finding a good match is imagining a life together.
Like you both make plans for your futures with both of each other in mind. If you want to move out of state or work in a better career, and the person you come home to and paying bills with would be the person you're dating.
You go to the store and half of the time maybe you think of things that you'd like to buy for them or keep in mind things to ask them to buy for you.
Someone to talk to about somewhat embarrassing things and to vent to.
TL;DR It's basically like having roommate who's also your best friend and you guys are sexually and romanticaly attracted to each other so you want to spend the rest of your life with them.

No. 107843

Is there a way to "learn" to cum from PIV? It feels like I'm capable of it, but I get too sensitive or feel like I have to pee instead. When I first orgasmed from the clit, it kind of felt like that too, but it's like I don't know how to cum from this too somehow.
I don't know if maybe I just can't cum from PIV alone even if I'm really into it and it feels good. I know that's normal so I don't feel bad about it, but I'd like to be able to.

No. 107906

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My bf will cum and then be able to go again right after. We usually have sex 2-3 times with him climaxing. He rests for like 2 minutes and then goes again. We’ve been living together for like two years and he’s always been that way. Just curious if anyone else has experienced this because I always heard men were “one and done” and women were supposed to be the ones climaxing multiple times.

No. 107908

nah, typical sex for me and my SO has him cumming 2-3 times. we've been together 2 years also. some dudes can just cum a lot i guess.

No. 107932


Seconding this question. I've heard about the A spot and G spot yet when I've tried positions to stimulate those areas, it's goddamn near impossible to cum. It feels good as usual but nothing special–not like being eaten out which feels magical from the start.

I've heard working with toys can help but I've also heard that only a small portion of women can actually cum from PIV alone.

No. 107933


Same OP, I forgot to sage. Sorry.

No. 108001

my bf is like that too, we've had sex 3 times within an hour a handful of times. we've been dating for 4 years and it's been happening more often so he's probably just more comfortable.

No. 108013

Any tips for an bj amateur?
Make them obvious bc I have no idea how to give good head.
Not sure how much I suck at it but I think I was thinking this might be really easy while it's not that easy. At least for me.
Anyways I can't deep throat (already found it out) so that's not an option

No. 108023

Focus mainly on the head/frenulum while using your hand to stimulate the base. spit all over it or use a flavored lube if you can't make enough saliva - the wetter, the better. cup and gently squeeze his balls. kiss/lick his inner thighs and perineum. also, experiment with different bj positions, i find that it's easiest when the guy is laying down flat.

No. 108039

When I ride my bf I don't bounce up and down on his dick, I kind of just grind against him while he's inside me. I'm curious if this is common or not?
We can both cum from this motion. Does anyone else do this?

No. 108042

yes that's like…the norm

No. 108046

Yes, I do that too. My bf takes awhile to cum from it though so I do it for me and then follow up with some bounce action too lol

No. 108058

Thanks guys!

No. 108068

People who can actually bounce the entire ride probably have thunder thighs that are 100% muscle or they're probably in pain. Grinding is definitely the way most people do it.

No. 108080

I bounce or my bf lifts me up and down. I have a pretty good stamina, but he pretty much ends up lifting me the entire time

At least it is good exercise

No. 108082

I haven’t gotten fucked yet, I’m nearly 20, and the thing stopping me is my vagina. Basically, I can barely fit a finger, two with extra hard work and foreplay, without feeling a sort of burning/splitting pain? Is this normal for the first time for some girls? I know some girls who said they didn’t have much discomfort at all. Do I basically just have to suck it up and get it over with? Will the pain go away after a few times though? Also also, I can’t orgasm unless I take a vibrator and do it myself on my clit. The self inflicted rubbing of the clit I always see in porn doesn’t do much for me too. I feel nothing receiving oral. And fingering hurts. Have my partners just been bad at oral? Or would you think that I’m not really sensitive down there?

No. 108090

I haven't had sex in over 4 months because I've been too stressed out with my mental health issues to even think about having sex and being romantic with my boyfriend. I give him a quick kiss whenever I have to leave for work or he comes home from work, but that's as far as I'll go right now.
I guess I feel bad because Valentine's day is coming up and I feel like my boyfriend is going to try to attempt to do something romantic, but I'm honestly not in the mood at all. The thing is… I miss wanting to be romantic and sexual, but my mind is too occupied at the moment. I'm sure he'll understand.

No. 108091

Can you not even fit a tampon in? You might want to look up vaginusmus.

No. 108104

>I'm sure he'll understand
God I feel bad for your bf

No. 108118

Quite honestly… why be in a relationship? You are needing to focus on yourself, and it sounds like you view him as an emotional burden, so why bother?

> I guess I feel bad because Valentine's day is coming up and I feel like my boyfriend is going to try to attempt to do something romantic, but I'm honestly not in the mood at all.

Also, you are making a choice well in advance to "not be in the mood". You are literally setting the expectation for yourself to reject anything he tries to do.

4 months is a long time to go on feeling that way. At some point, it becomes unfair to the other person.

No. 108125

Might want to go to a doctor. What are your periods like? Could be vaginismus, as other anon said, or possibly even endometriosis. You should be able to put a finger up there without great pain.

No. 108193

How tf does one “talk dirty”? In-person without sounding cringy

No. 108196

We've been dating for almost 5 years and we live together. We've sort of had a situation like this before where we didn't have sex for half a year but that was mostly because his sister had to live with us for a while, that was a few months into the relationship.
His sex drive isn't that high and we usually only have sex once or twice a month. We still love each other and he's aware of how I've been feeling due to my mental state and I try not to hide it.
I'm just feeling pressured because of Valentine's Day and I guess a majority of people expects to do something romantic. Although, we are planning to cook a nice meal together so that'll be a nice activity.

No. 108204

I need advice on this too, my bf talks dirty and honestly it makes me laugh internally to hear him wanting to suck my big breasts and nipples and other such things he says lol. Like he's not going that intricate but I just sound so disingenuous when I say shit back cause its funny. Idk. I end up just kissing him if I can't think of shit to say during lol

No. 108221

Yes! I need advice as well. My boyfriend loves to announce when he's "squeezing my titties" and it's so in the moment I go blank minded and just tell him I love him.

No. 108222

I love dirty talk with my bf during sex. My advice: get into it, get comfortable with it, don't think too hard about what you're saying or he's saying. It's about just feeling sexy in the moment. I can guarantee your partners aren't thinking about what they're saying if your immediate thought is that it sounded silly. I know it's easier said than done, but turn your brain off. Sex doesn't need any critical thinking.

No. 108223


start out with mild stuff like "harder," "faster," "you feel so good inside of me," etc., I feel like it depends on your personality/your bf's personality and what y'all like… like if he really likes a certain position (for example, doggy style) be like "god I want you to fuck me from behind" so bad or something. it's honestly so cringe to think about when you're not actually having sex, but it's less cringy in the moment. just don't think too hard about it. if you say something awkward he 100% will not remember lmao

No. 108245

advice for 100% virgins? what to expect during your first time, how to act, mistakes to avoid, how to position yourself?

No. 108257

make sure you have ample foreplay, especially for your first time. focus on relaxing your vagoob. if it's too tight/dry it will hurt. First time sex isn't "supposed" to hurt, it usually only does because you're anxious/not relaxed enough/haven't done enough foreplay with fingers and mouth, and your muscles are tightened and therefore it hurts to have something big(ger than you're used to) inside you. (If you've ever masturbated with a dildo, do the same prep + a little more that you would for that.) Lube is your friend and will make everything feel better and go smoother. Don't worry about how you "should act", just make sure you're enjoying yourself, you're ready for PIV, and you'll be fine. Whoever you're with should be respectful and want to make you comfortable and feel good.

If you want more control over how deep they go/how fast, you should be on top, and lower yourself down as you get used to the feeling. If you want them to take charge, make sure you communicate what feels good and what doesn't, slower/faster, if you need to take a break or go back to fingers/oral, do not be afraid to tell them. It's as much about you feeling good as it is about them, and if you're not enjoying yourself, change it. It's okay to ask to stop at any point.

mistakes to avoid: if they ask you to squeeze their junk, be gentle lol. Avoid using teeth during a beej, if you're doing that. Don't be embarrassed if you queef, I know it seems like something "wrong", but it's completely normal and can be more likely to happen depending on the position (for instance, doggy, or if you've got your hips raised/lifted during missionary.) But again it's totes normal and if they make a bigger deal about it than laughing and carrying on, they suck and you shouldn't fuck em again until they can be more mature about it. I've queefed in a guy's face before and just LAUGHED about it, and we moved on without addressing it. Don't apologize. It's nothing to be embarrassed about and some people are actually into it.

If it's their first time too/they're not experienced, expect it to go by quickly. If you're not satisfied afterwards, tell them, they should be focused on your pleasure too, it's not all about them. Don't let them cum anywhere you're not comfortable with. Insist that they use a condom (I think this is a good rule for first time.)

other than that just relax, have fun, and make sure you pee soon afterwards! It makes it less likely to get a UTI.

No. 108258


piggybacking on what >>108257 said (great advice btw!) I just wanted to stress the importance of communicating with your partner. Air out all of your anxieties, fears, and be 100% honest about how you're feeling. If he's experienced (and cares about you/isn't a total douche) he will take it slow and be gentle and accommodating. If you're both newbies, it'll be an intimate, exploratory learning experience for you both. But if for any reason you get cold feet, or if you feel like your partner is not respecting your boundaries, just say NO. Do not ever force yourself to have sex to please anyone! anyway, have fun and be safe!

No. 108281

Nta but am a virgin and this question has been burning inside of me.
Were/are any anons here super ticklish? Even having someone poke me tickles me and I'm afraid I'll never be able to have successful sex like this. I mean, I don't like the idea of being touched a lot anyway (I would prefer to be in control), but it would be awful if he goes to touch my waist or leg and I start laughing.

Do you just get used to it or have to work around it?

No. 108285

When I orgasm I get really ticklish. Sometimes sex ends with me laughing and pushing him away because my sense of touch is on overdrive.

No. 108286

My advice may not be the most unbiased since I'm hyper-sensitive to the point where I actively get off from being tickled, but - even when people don't know about that, they've usually just found it cute. I wouldn't worry about it ruining the moment or anything.

Usually they'll do it more at first and you'll just have a cute little playfight around it before you get back to business, but you could always just tell him to use a much firmer touch because it's too annoying for you.

No. 108431

>finds a guy through an mmorpg
>hes cute and im happy to spend time with him
>he confesses that he has 4" dick
Shit, is this a big deal? I've asked on a few other sites and they say it's a deal breaker as you won't feel him, etc. I'm a useless virgin so I have no idea if that really is too small or not. I like him too much to break up over something he can't control but I also want to be pounded raw.

No. 108433

That's pretty individual, some women can barely fit anything and others can take a foot long lol. Many can't even come from vaginal so it doesn't matter.
Have you tried fingering yourself before to see if that satisfies you? That would be a comparable size.
I'd also say "if you like him and otherwise have the same kinks it shouldn't matter" but I know people value different things.

No. 108434

Fingers feel pretty nice, I usually hit (what i think) is the cervix just from a finger. I never used a vibrator but I recall using my hairbrush before and that felt nice.

No. 108439

Sounds like it would be compatible then. That's good.

No. 108440

Are you sure he's not underestimating? Dudes with self-esteem issues might do that. My husband was convinced he had a microdick; imagine my surprise the first time we fucked and it was 8".

I had an ex with a 4 incher though and yeah, it was pretty underwhelming. While I don't typically get off to vaginal it feels really good with the right dick. I felt him, but it was a snoozefest and we couldn't do any positions but missionary because otherwise his dick would fall out. Even in doggy.

Get a dick pic or something before sealing the deal, IMO.

No. 108446

>My husband was convinced he had a microdick; imagine my surprise the first time we fucked and it was 8".
Could he not measure properly?

No. 108457

He would never measure it. His self-esteem was so low he was afraid to so he just assumed it was tiny and continued hating himself.

No. 108462

This is hilarious, sorry for laughing at your husband. I guess it's better than imagining he has an amazing Woman Pleaser™ like most men.

No. 108492

God I sure hope so. I really like this guy.
To give some context, he said he measured it and it was 4" but never checked girth or anything. I don't know when he last checked either. I heard that it might still grow? He's only 18, turning 19 in July.

No. 108527

I have a tiny problem with getting too wet during foreplay. It kinda fucks up sensitivity during the actual act. Is there something I can do about this that's not having a coochie rag on hand and mopping myself??

Is he overweight? Guys can usually squeeze out a couple more inches when they lose weight. But I don't think it'll grow in any significant way other than that.

No. 108538

He said he was a bit on the "chunky" side so that should help out. Thank you anon!

No. 108675

By personal experience, my friend who was an average 5 , maybe less, when we were 17 is now a solid 6.5 with way more girth at 22. I think guys stop growing around their early 20s.

No. 108699

Sorry for a useless reply but I don't understand how being too wet will make you less sensitive? I use so much lube because sex feels better that way

No. 108802

lol it's okay anon. I'm not sure how to explain it to you (I have never had to use lube ever due to this), but a bit of friction feels good, imo.

I can't get aroused at all if water is involved, like I cannot masturbate in the shower, it's just toooo slippery, I can't really feel anything. Being too wet is kinda the same to me I guess.

No. 108837

I'm casually sleeping with a guy and don't know how to suck his dick. He's eating me out regularly but I've been too much of a chicken to blow him without a condom. I think that the feeling with condom would be rather shitty? Is the risk small enough to just go for it? (Without him finishing in my mouth of course) Any thoughts? And what would you do?

No. 108838

Just get tested for STD's lmao? If it's that regular then it's worth it.

No. 108839

We did get tested, but I won't get tested every other week

No. 108863


Watch bj porn or go to a blowjob subreddit (it can be gay or straight) and take notes of what the women/men do. I think there are some guides women wrote up on that site too. Between those two things you can learn how to be good at it.

One thing I picked up from practice is to listen carefully to his breathing to figure out what he likes, and to mix up technique and speed.

Also bj's are alot more pleasant (for you) when he is freshly washed and you are perfectly within your rights to demand he showers/washes up first.

No. 108869

BJ porn usually doesn't look pleasant at all. I personally have a strong gag reflex, I couldn't do half the shit they do there.
Question anon, just go for it. You can always use it as foreplay too, there's no need for him to finish in your mouth.

No. 108911

I am question anon, I do read up on it and read some guides on reddit.
I want to do it as foreplay, but would you do it without a condom?

No. 108912

Sure, why not? Condoms don't taste especially good and it's probably not going to feel as good either. Just remember to put one on before insertion.

No. 108913

No one should ever use porn as a how to have sex guide, they choose poses that they think look the best on camera not because they feel good or are comfortable. Add to that the misogyny of the industry. It is often intentionally degrading to the women.

No. 108922

Any advice on becoming more confident? I'm 26 and feel so inexperienced comparatively and feel ridiculous and stupid trying to be sexy. So I'm really straightforward and awkward because I don't know how else to act.

No. 108980

Not everybody has to be "sexy" in a hollywood kind of way, not every guy likes high heels and lingerie, just be yourself and do what you personally like and this alone will make you sexy and confident.
For general confidence:
Sports and going out of your comfort zone. It sounds stupid and obvious but believe me, I'm 32, I hate myself and I was shy af. I started many things out of my usual comfort zone, started to do sports, I asked a hot guy out (and almost died of embarrassment doing so) and it all worked out. He compliments me a lot and shows me everything I need to know in bed. Just do it anon.

No. 108993

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Sometimes I cry after sex, not because I didn't want it or anything, but because I DID want it. I have a bit of past baggage so I guess I feel ashamed and embarrassed, like "well, I enjoy sex, guess I'm just a slut." It's especially bad after I initiate/ask for something specific. How do I let myself just enjoy sex. Damn

No. 109001

i have no idea how to ride dick. i was in the same relationship for 5 years and we just kind of accepted that i wasnt good at it and never did it.

i'm out of that one now and there's a new guy i'm interested in and i want to get good at it?

is there anything i can like, practice

No. 109026

Remember at any given moment, millions of other women are having sex. There's nothing wrong with it.

No. 109031

Don't know if this is any help, but grinding on a pillow did for me. Also dancing is good, specially moves involving hips and thighs. Have you ever tried arab dancing? It's also good to get muscle tone and gain stamina.

And lastly, have confidence in what your body can do, anon!

No. 109121

my boyfriend has a humongously high sex drive to the point where it actively makes me not want to have sex. he's a fantastic guy and a fantastic boyfriend but it's becoming a problem at least for me, thinking about having sex with him makes me want to cry out of frustration because it's just too much and I can't seem to do anything about the problem.

he's had an incredibly active sex life since he first lost his virginiy. all of his dreams are sex dreams, he gets very easily turned on when I'm with him even if I'm not doing something sexual at all, he has very and I mean very wild and rough fantasies that he sometimes propositions me, most including rapeplay (in the fantasy I like it, according to him), lots of cumming, very intense and rough sex like something straight out of a hentai (ironically, he doesn't watch it and only knows about it through me), he always wants to sext (I hate sexting). masturbating doesn't even do it for him, it doesn't satisfy his need to fuck, I have to manually make him cum and even then he'll still be horny again hours later.

I was enthusiastic about sex when I first started, but now it's something I find pretty average even if I do like it, and if I feel horny I just masturbate bc honestly dealing with him when I'm horny has become a massive chore so I just masturbate in secret and don't tell him (he gets kinda pissy if I jack off "without his help"). And I am also into a few perverted and sick fantasies, but most of what he propositions me makes me sick and repulsed (he recently told me a fantasy where he's raping me with my consent and I piss myself so as punishment he mouth rapes me and I choke. all of this made me sick and very disgusted, I had to tell him to stop telling me). he's been a good sport about the issue of my low sex drive and has tried earnestly to control himself and to not pressure me into doing things I don't want to do. he feels genuinely bad if he makes me uncomfortable and has stopped talking so much about sex as of late bc he knows it wears me down, but at this point we have tried everything under the sun and his sex drive is uncontrollable. when we go a long time without seeing each other or fucking he'll get blue balls and practically sperg about sex nonstop. at this point I wish I could just get him to fuck other girls so he's not the sex monster he is around me when he's horny, but he's not even turned on by other girls, it's just me, I'm the only one who makes him horny or makes him want to cum. I'm so fucking sick of this I'm on the verge of tears as i write this, when he's not horny out of his mind he's the best fucking boyfriend ever but it's been almost 3 years of a relationship and I'm starting to realize I can't fix this I can't make this issue go away. he doesn't even want to go to therapy for it bc he doesn't think is a problem, and I don't even know what it is bc he isn't a porn addict or addicted to sex he's just really horny for me. it's not nice anymore it's a nightmare. please help me

No. 109122

also samefag but for the longest time I've just had sex or done things with him against my will even if I assure him I'm into it just to get him to fucking shut up or quit the long ffucking face he gets when I don't want to suck his dick or him to finger me or just do sex stuff every single time we see each other. I'm not a fucking fuck doll, I don't want sex all the time. so I just suck his fucking dick or jack him off so he'll fuckinv shut up and go to sleep or leave me alone just stop touching me stop rubbing your dick in my butt, I think this guy might've turned me fucking asexual with his sex drive

No. 109126

I'm really sorry to hear this anon.
I feel like deep down you know this can't continue. He's already "tried to decrease" his sexual drive and even that has failed, so the only other "option" left is for you to raise yours, which is impossible at this point.

I truly think his sexuality has poisoned yours and made you retreat into yourself. How could you not really, when you're constantly being penetrated, groped, prodded, and forcibly inserted into someone else's fantasies? That doesn't make anyone feel sexy.
Your boyfriend is an immature, selfish and poor lover who doesn't really care about your pleasure. You've already begun going down the path of resentment because you're already doing things that you disagree with or are "just putting up with".

You need to have a come to Jesus talk and make him rework his entire idea of sex (ie. No penis in vagina sex for a month, no groping and grabbing at you, no indulging any of his fetishes) or you need to break up if he can't even attempt the above.

No. 109127

>it's not nice anymore it's a nightmare. please help me

Sounds awful anon. He isn't a good boyfriend. I think you need to distance yourself from him.

No. 109129

I'm so sorry to hear this, anon. the rape fantasies alone are super wtf and would have made me ghost him without hesitation.

No. 109130


So he's a horrible boyfriend for having needs and a high sex drive? If his drive hasn't changed in the three years you have been together, he's not an asshole.

You're saying that he's annoyed that you pleasure yourself alone, and honestly I feel where he's coming from. That's lack of intamacy and a good healthy sex life is essential to a working relationship.. And a good healthy sex life looks different in each relationship.

What I'm saying is, you're not sexually compatable and that's going to be an issue that won't go away on it's own and - Will- be detrimental to your relationship in the long run anyway. Three years is a long time, are you worried perhaps because you're too comfortable? It might need to be a bandaid that needs ripped off. You can find another person that is A) Sexuality on your level and B) treats you well and you enjoy their time just as much, if not more, than your current partner.

No. 109131

Sex isn't a need, it is a want and his behaviour is obviously making that anon suffer. They should split up, and a man making rape comments like that to his gf can go fuck himself.

No. 109132


Rapeplay is a completely normal an d common kink. The basis for kink is consent, if he was raping her that's a different story and that is not okay.

To some people yes, sex is a need. To anon's boyfriend, it sounds very much to be a need.

No. 109136

You appear to have no sympathy towards anon's actual need to be respected in her relationship.

No. 109138

Sex is not a need, what the fuck.
Are you seriously implying that people literally die without sex?

Honestly what the fuck is wrong with you, and why are you calling the mental and physical torture that anon is going through "sex"?
Anon's bf is not just performing "sex". Isn't sex supposed to benefit both partners or at least involve them equally? Anon literally stated that she does things to hold him off, to get things over with, how the fuck is that true consent?
You are trying to minimize the damage done to anon by saying "it's just sex!", "It's just a rape fetish!", instead of actually having compassion for her. You are disgusting.

No. 109362

i feel so awkward posting this on here but uhh basically my vagina is really tight, i can't fit 2 fingers in myself comfortably

i usually masturbate with just my clit which is fine, but i've been in a long distance relationship for almost 2 years now and we spend 2 weeks together every few months and i wanted to get better at taking dick because i can cum vaginally but it takes a while and i start to hurt down there if i'm being fucked for longer than a few minutes, my boyfriends been really sweet about it, he bought me a dildo that was the same size as him so i could try and get used to it in my own time but every time i try it it hurts so fucking badly, like point of tears badly, my boyfriends actual dick hurts way less so idk whats up w that maybe its the material

we use lots of lube and go slowly etc, but it's frustrating that i have to tell my boyfriend to hurry up and cum because im hurting so badly, i dont know if i should see a doctor or just assume its bc im not having regular sex

No. 109363

real dicks aren't as rigid as a lot of dildos, seems like you'd benefit from using dilators

No. 109366

You say without that he would be a perfect boyfriend but I really doubt it, people with shitty boyfriends say that all the time. He's probably a shitty boyfriend AND you're sexually incompatible, so just break up.

No. 109369

See a doctor for sure. If it's bothering you this much and foreplay doesn't change things, it's probably vaginismus or another medical condition.

No. 109388

Please break up with him for your own sake. It seems like the years of being forced to do something you don't want to are wearing you down and it's bound to only get worse, I'm usually not a ''just dump him'' anon but in this case..

No. 109390

>has violent, degrading sexual fantasies
>not a porn or sex addict

no anon, he's a typical hypersexual, pornsick degenerate male

where do you think he gets his ideas from?

No. 109408

He may think he doesn't have a problem, but it legitimately sounds like he has a sex addiction and needs help from a professional. Have you made it clear you're not enjoying this and it makes you uncomfortable? If so, he is completely disrespecting your boundaries and using you for his pleasure only, and that is NOT ok.
There has to be some change here, or it isn't going to get better. If it's not fixing these problems, I hate to say it, it's breaking up before the resentment worsens.

No. 109443

Goddamn, I really just want to fuck my boyfriend. We've been dating about 3 months. Every other guy I've been with I've slept with I did on the first date. So this has been a change for me. I'm his first real girlfriend and all that. We're both in our late 20s. He's very sweet and I love spending time with him. I could gush about him but I won't.. you get it. I haven't been pressuring him or anything. Wouldn't want to rush him and make him uncomfortable. But I think about it all the time. Says he has some previous religious hangups. Feels guilty and anxious about sex. Told him therapy might be a good idea and he agreed. We'll see.

Think a fairly large part of why he's not dated anyone is because he's active in the furry community. He draws furry fetish art for money. It's a bit odd but doesn't bother me. I've got my own strange tastes as well. I do worry if being that deep in that sort of community for so long would warp your view on sex. But hopefully that's not the case. He's a pretty normal dude otherwise.

No. 109450

Oh boy, the red flags.

No. 109455

1. Are you his first?
2. How far have the two of you gone? Making out, nudes, holding hands?

No. 109456

File: 1551462140317.jpeg (19.66 KB, 401x401, filthy-frank-disgust-57f42b83a…)

>I could gush about him but I won't.. you get it
>he's active in the furry community. He draws furry fetish art for money

No. 109457

I‘m currently in my first sexual relationship and I’m pretty worried I’m terrible in bed. Not that my boyfriend ever complained or has given me any reason to be thinking that, but all those talks of other guys about girls doing the starfish etc have made me a bit paranoid.

So basically we mostly have sex in missionary, doggy or me lying flat on my stomach and him kneeling or lying on top of me. Now I’m wondering if I’m supposed to do stuff with my pelvis in those positions? Like, ‘fuck him back’ or something?
I mean I do interact with him, but I’m still not sure what starfishing actually means because especially when I’m on my stomach, I don’t feel like there’s much I can do with my body waist down. (I make him cum by moving my pelvis in that position sometimes but he does/has to hold still for that so idk.)

No. 109459

The thing about starfish is it’s not just the act of receiving penetration. It’s that there is an obvious lack of enthusiasm/enjoyment from the female or any sort of validation provided to male whatsoever. I think with a few easy things you can make yourself feel more involved with the act.

To combat feelings of “starfish” in male-on-top positions, here are my suggestions:

>lots of touch

If missionary, grip him back. Run your hands down his back and sides. I wrap my legs around my bf and he loves that. You can grind back too in missionary but if he’s a lot bigger than you it can be annoying to both parties I think. If it’s doggy, there’s not a lot you can do. Refer below for advice in this position. If you are on your stomach and he is on top of you, you can usually grip his thigh or wrist. I do this and gently squeeze or caress (not sure if all guys like this tho)

>vocal affirmations

Don’t be completely silent. When my bf and I first started having sex I made this mistake. 2 years in ive become a lot more comfortable and I can tell he enjoys it more. Soft moans, gentle sighs, or just flat out saying you like it are really important. You don’t have to get super vulgar (maybe he likes it?) but it’s nice to talk a little dirty. Say his name softly too, but don’t overdo that one cause it can be weird lol.

>good foreplay

I almost always go down on my bf before sex. Giving a bj is hard and the right guy appreciates you putting in the effort. I find doing this balances out the feeling of me “just taking it” during regular sex.

>switch it up

Try some girl on top positions occasionally. My bf is pretty dominant but once in awhile I ride that d HARD

Lastly, don’t overthink it too much. Guys don’t experience sex in the same way we do. The overall act itself is satisfying where as we seem to be more satisfied by the little nuances and intricacies of it. I was very similar to you in that my current relationship was my first sexual one. With time, it just becomes second nature.

No. 109468

>previous religious hangups
>guilty and anxious about sex
>active furry


No. 109470

Yeah, I'd be his first. Gave him a handjob once. Declined a BJ. He massages me and rubs my clit fairly often. He does seem to enjoy just touching me, but hasn't gone any further. Thankfully he seems serious about going to therapy, otherwise I'd be more worried.

They sure are willing to pay a lot of money for pictures though. It's crazy.

No. 109482

Ive been together with my bf for more than a year and a half. We were each others firsts everything. Now that we have sex frequently, i enjoy it emotionally. But penetration is painful to me. I can be wet but it still hurts so i cant enjoy it truly in a physical way, he is as gentle as a person can be about it.
Can you give me some advice on how to make penetration less painful?

No. 109483

>Sex is not a need, what the fuck.
>Are you seriously implying that people literally die without sex?

NAYRT but sex is, psychologically, a very real and important need. People do not literally die without sex, but they very often develop mental illnesses from it (see the entire incel community). It shows an utter lack of understanding of psychology to imply that it ISN'T a need. It's literally what we evolved to do.

I DO agree with most of your other post, but this part is incorrect. Purely platonic relationships do not develop into healthy relationships - humans need intimacy and social bonding. Aside from the very small minority of asexual people, you WILL experience mental distress from lack of sex. What you're implying is the equivalent of saying that space isn't a NEED because you won't literally die from being confined in a 3x6 foot jail cell for prolonged periods of time.

No. 109484

Do you use lube?

No. 109486

Have you seen a gyno about this?
What exactly hurts (labia minors, entrance, cervix, …) and what kind of pain (cramping, stinging, soreness, …)

There’s a bunch of possible sources of pain during sex.
You might not be wet enough (as >>109484 kinda suggested: try to use lube if you haven’t), you might get tiny tears as others have described, you might not be able to relax (at this point maybe because you expect it to hurt) or even have vaginismus (can you insert a dildo/vibrator, your fingers or tampons?), he might be hitting your cervix (which is painful for a lot of women) or you might even have endometriosis.

That’s just the few things I can think of off the top of my head.
If it’s not easily to be solved by using lube or changing positions, I definitely would go see a gyno about it. None of us can tell you with certainty what it is.

No. 109499

>People do not literally die without sex, but they very often develop mental illnesses from it (see the entire incel community)
You have no idea what you're talking about. Incels develop mental illnesses because if a male is still a virgin by the age of 18 he's seen as a loser, and do you think women want to fuck a 30 year old virgin?
People are obsessed with sex because males are taught that they're worthless if they don't fuck 100 girls, and women are taught that they're worthless if men don't find them attractive. Our society is fucked up.
Sure, people would still desire sex if there wasn't so much pressure to do it as fast and as much as possible, but they wouldn't be so fucking desperate that it becomes a need.

No. 109506

The difference here is that taking up more space isn't removing another person's autonomy to fulfill it.
And this coming from a khv "femcel" in her twenties. The only way to satisfy people who can't fuck is to force others to fuck them, which just isn't humane. Do I want to fuck some qt I see at school really badly, which is exacerbated by my abnormally high libido? Absolutely, but I wouldn't demand to have him submit his body to me because MUH NEED TO FUCK YOUR ASSHOLE. He's an individual and it's understandable that he, or anyone else I want, doesn't want to fuck me. Just as if I got lucky and dated a man I wouldn't expect him to put out on demand and would just masturbate to satisfy the "need."

Saying rape is excusable and to be expected isn't where it's at, anon.

No. 110813

I'm the anon that started getting off to my sisters husband after watching them have sex. I finally got a resolution after speaking to my sister about it.

I'd been avoiding her since I last saw her over a month ago because it felt really awkward. I couldn't look at her without seeing her face as her husband came inside her. She must have thought something was wrong because we've always been really close and I love seeing my niece. She messaged me to say that she missed me and that she had something she needed to tell me. I went round to see her when I knew her husband would be at work. What she wanted to tell me was that she was pregnant and I was going to be an aunt again. I was happy to hear that but I felt so guilty. I'm fantasizing about fucking her husband while she's having his children.

She must have seen that something wasn't right by my face. I was trying really hard to smile. She asked me if the reason I hadn't been visiting was because I felt embarrassed after watching her and a husband have sex. She knew all along why I was avoiding her. I wanted to fucking die. She started laughing and said that if I didn't want to see two people having sex why was I looking in a married couple's bedroom? She put her arm around me and told me that while it was weird, it wasn't that weird. Both of us had either seen or heard our parents having sex and this wasn't any different. She wasn't angry with me but I wasn't to do it again. I felt so relieved that she didn't think I was a pervert. We spoke after that about how I'd been feeling. She answered some questions I had about sex and relationships. She said that I should wait until I find a boyfriend and not do it with a random hook up. She gave me the same advice as this thread, "if you're that horny and curious get a dildo ffs". By the time I left I felt comfortable enough to give her hug, something I hadn't done for nearly two months.

I'm so happy this is over. I actually feel stupid now for making such a big deal out of it. I still think about her husband sometimes and that feels weird. I don't feel guilty about it any more. It's stopped being intrusive and I'm starting to come up with my own ideal man instead of him.

No. 110823

Are there any anons here who habitually masturbate but don't live alone? How the fuck do you get away with it? I need advice.

No. 110825

Do you share the same bedroom and are they always at home or what?

No. 110828

File: 1551882651048.jpg (30.35 KB, 642x410, burrito.jpg)

That's so good to hear anon. Good luck moving forward from this!

No. 110829

You're lucky to have such an understanding sister. I'm sure another anon will say negative things about it instead, but I'm actually amazed. Don't let stuff come between you guys again!

If you don't share a room then it should be fine to do it in bed, but the shower is a normal place too

No. 110830

I think they should have held off banging while you, a teenager iirc were not in the house, but maybe you witnessed the conception of a child so ahah that's cool I guess

No. 110831

Also the fact you'd seen/heard your parents banging too is gross, it should be called sexual hygiene where people take care not to be heard/witnessed by children, especially relatives

No. 110832

I think that went about as well as it could have. Thank you for the update. So…did you get a dildo?
Think about the things you like about your sister's husband and keep them in mind for your own mate search.

No. 110837

I hate dirty talk honestly. Especially when they try cursing or whatever. It just seems so fake and disingenuous like the stuff you see in porn.

No. 110839

Thank you.

No. 110844

I don't share a room but the walls are so thin where I live, and there's almost always someone here. I've been considering driving off somewhere private just so I could do it but I'm paranoid about strangers still.

No. 110856

i just started dating a new guy and we’ve tried having sex a few times now and he just can’t stay hard. he keeps assuring me that it’s not me, it’s him, but it’s fucking with my self esteem so much and it sucks because i really like him. i tried talking to him about it and told him that it’s okay if we slow down and to let me know if there’s something i’m doing that he doesn’t like. i don’t really know what else to do. has anyone out there actually fixed this problem? i feel like shit

No. 110857

it will fix on it's own the more comfortable you get with eachother. try doing foreplay till you're both insanely horny and then sex.

No. 110861

Believe him, and don't let it bother you. It's pretty normal the first few times since you're doing something new. The last guy I dated couldn't stay hard for maybe the first month we started having sex, but it resolved itself in time.

No. 110863

Men can have a difficult time maintaining erection when they're feeling anxious, my bf couldn't stay hard for the first 2 month of our relationship and it was because he had performance anxiety and he was very intimidated by me. It just resolved itself with time like >>110861 said.

No. 110865

Well, it's possible to masturbate quietly, unless you're using some loud vibrator or something, so not sure what the issue is? It's not like you have to moan loudly when masturbating.

No. 110868

Sometime when you have the place to yourself, try masturbating with your phone outside the door recording so you can tell how much sound is really coming out. You'll notice it's probably not that much, if any. Put on some music to kind of drown it out (but not too loud, just the volume you might listen at normally, and never when people are trying to sleep) to help you get out of your head. It helps if that's not the only time you play music, of course.

No. 110892

I know this makes me a bad person and I am sorry this happened to you but this did give me a laugh. It's good to hear that it ended on a positive note.

>You're lucky to have such an understanding sister
I think it's part of being a big sister. I was always the one that was answering questions about periods and boys when my sisters were teenagers. I guess it's less embarrassing than asking mom.

No. 110929

Do it in the bathroom during a shower

No. 111529

we have finally talked about it and things have improved greatly. I still don’t like being penetrated but we do other things. I’m very much into oral both ways (male or female)so we do that the most. But considering how I feel about being fucked, true straight sex seems far off and forced on my end. I feel ultimately bad and wonder if I’m really just mostly gay with how I work sexually. after all when I masturbate I don’t at all think of being fucked.

No. 111615

can I ask what do you even get a strap on ?
I mean where is the pleasure for you

No. 111629

Some people actually like to please their partner.

No. 111630

and If he doens't want it ?

No. 111657

Then don’t do it?

No. 111664

If he's OK with how things are, then you don't really need to feel bad, anon. I totally get where you're coming from regarding the whole penetration/vulnerability issue. When I first had sex with a man, I was surprised how terrible it felt, because when I had been masturbating, I'd never actually imagined myself getting penetrated during sex and never found that to be a turn-on for me. Still kind of struggling with the whole concept. And I'm straight, not even bisexual.

No. 111803

does any one here wrestle/play fight before and during sex

its something me and my bf do competing to see who will be the dom and who gets to be on top
now obviously he's holding back and I do use full force to try to beat him but even then I lose everytime
some times he gives himself handicaps like he will wear a blindfold or ties one hand behind his back but he still always wins
now obviously this is meant to be fun and I don't wanna hurt him seriously like hit his balls or punch him but I do wanna hold him down so that he can't move and use my legs to thrust into him as much as I please while in missionary. All the while hissing obscene comments in his ear like "be a good boy" and "you're going to get fucked by me, and you're going to like it."

so my question how do I win these fights ?

No. 111806

I do that as well anon, if I really wanna win I try and throw my boy off guard completely. It doesn't work all the time but it's worth a shot.

No. 111818

How do I get over internalized misogyny to the point where I've felt my female body is simply disgusting? I barely let guys take off my bra and panties due to insecurity, I don't let them anywhere near my vagina, they beg to eat me out and finger me and I always say no because I know if it's not that of a sex doll they'll go on whatever forum they like later and bitch about how disgusting vaginas are, I've tried to let one have sex with me once but he couldn't fit it in simply because I wasn't aroused

No. 111819

Get a weaker boyfriend and beef up yourself if you're petite.

No. 111821

not particularly petite in fact I'm in pretty good shape
my bf barely if ever works our and is 2 inches shorter then me

No. 111829

Damn maybe stop trying to fuck if you're so cripplingly insecure and unaroused first of all, all you're doing is traumatizing yourself. Sex is supposed to be happy time for you, not some duty you agonize over whether you were pleasing enough. Secondly, are you fucking guys from r9k or something? Normie men while still have preferences, even porn-sick ones aren't that hung up about your body not looking like a blow up doll. Just proper hygiene is enough. Get therapy to overcome your self-hatred and regain healthy attitude about sex. Best wishes.

No. 111832

Sounds like a serious problem and not something an anon can give a bit of quick fix advice for.
But other than what >>111829 said, maybe read some feminist books like Beauty and Misogyny. And remember that somehow the most stinky of men usually don't have a problem showing their bodies to women during sex.

No. 111850

Damn, is it a body weight thing then? Is he kind of heavyset/one of those people with some natural muscle ("""mesomorph""" if you will)?
Asking because I've experienced having more upper body strength than short scrawny guys. Unless genetic differences in muscle fiber or whatever are in effect here.
(original post was obviously goofing btw, but now I'm serious)

No. 111859

about 30 lbs heavier then me and he's a mix of some natural muscle and fat

No. 111862

I have to get over being completely traumatized by a very abusive ex boyfriend who would compare me to his exes and other girls anytime I sent him pictures of myself, during sex, or just randomly really, but also beg me for sex and claim I was abusing him if I didn't fufill his needs despite claiming my body turns him off and how he's fucked sexy perfect skin pear shaped models before and I should be ashamed of myself

I can't enjoy sex or anything pertaining to my body without feeling like I'm only there to be judged and pulled apart, I can't even go to parks or swimming because of my crippling insecurity, I become instantly unaroused the second someone touches me or I expose myself to somebody, it makes me terrified they'll just find something wrong with me and I'll just be another disappoint who belongs in the trash. I honestly don't know what to do at this point outside of killing myself because I feel like even if I pursue my career and hobbies my body will be a disappointment to someone and nobody will ever be able to focus on anything except for how bad my body is and how better everyone is

The fucked up part is I don't even think my body is that bad, I'm a good weigh, have hips and a round butt, perkish boobs that are a nice size and good nipples and an average looking vagina, I just know people are just constantly judging me

No. 111863

So if he wanted to fuck skinny pear shaped models why was he with you? He was free to leave if it was that important to him.

It wasn't you, it was something else he was dissatisfied about, likely his own insecurity since he clearly wanted to feel superior over you,otherwise he wouldn't say those things.

No. 111864

Do you have access to a therapist? This is something you really should see someone about because this is obviously impacting your quality of life. You are not the things he said and you deserve to live a happy life and feeling beautiful. You deserve to get help.

No. 111867

I realize that, it's just very hard for me to focus on any sexual activity without feeling like they're comparing me to others, he'll be in the middle of fucking me and randomly mention how his exes butt was bigger or was tighter or whatever, I'm not with him anymore thank God but it has damaged me for life and I truly do not believe I'll ever be able to enjoy any sort of intimacy with anyone ever again

I don't, I'm very poor, my life's a mess

No. 111909

you know anon, most people are too busy judging their own bodies to focus on yours! you're doing a great job by listing the things you love about yourself, too. take it day by day, focus on being happy, and if someone has a problem with your body, remember it's their problem, not yours

No. 111916

I'm so sorry that happened anon.

Idk if this will help, but if you can't fix it in your head to see yourself as cute and know that's how other people see you…set out to terrify and disgust them. I still struggle with this because I'm objectively ugly and the right person does make me feel a bit bad still, but most of the time I like proudly disgusting others. If they're going to be judgemental over your imperfection then be an eyesore to them and ruin their day. It's what they deserve, absolute cunts.

No. 112569

I know this is going to sound beyond retarded but this is a serious question. When you're giving a guy a blowjob, you're supposed to literally suck right? Like vaccuum suck with your mouth? For some reason I was thinking about it the other day and it just occurred to me that giving a guy head doesn't just involve you putting your mouth on his d and going up and down without actually sucking. I don't know why I thought that all these years and I know I sound like a dumb middle schooler so please don't laugh.
I've obviously never been with a guy but I don't want to be bad at pleasuring one when the time comes. I did try sucking on my finger and it kinda hurt though but I guess it must feel different on a guys dick.. someone give me the tea

No. 112570

Not exactly - it’s not necessary - it’s more the pressure and rubbing than actually sucking although feel free to suck if that’s your thing.

No. 112572

Also, remember to use tongue — the bottom side and tip are most sensitive - also the very base is kinda pressure sensitive - considering squeezing it a bit

No. 112573

You don't suck on it. The best way to help with kissing and with blow jobs is to consider is is a mimic of sex. Your mouth is mimicking the vagina. So you are creating a nice wet hole for the dick to go in, and unless you want him to face fuck you (which is among my worst sexual experiences, do not recommend) you are mimicking his pumping action of thrusting into you, but slower. He gets to be lazy and have the PIV experience without doing anything at all.
Small, warm friendly hole, cover teeth with your lips. Coverage of the whole dick if possible, or put your hand on it too to add to the feeling, and remember the top (end of penis) is the extra sensitive bit, so be careful and generous with that bit.

No. 112622

good advice except you can/do suck, it depends on the guy. my ex used to be nearly fkn screaming at me to suck harder I was like dude I am going to burst a blood vessel. now I just ask.

No. 112644

No. 112651

This though, it definitely depends. My bf actually pointed out my lack of sucking-action as well.

I mean… there are literally flesh lights that’ll create a vacuum for pleasure. Without at least a little suction it feels like thrusting into the air (or at least so I’ve been told).

No. 112718

File: 1554735495827.jpg (20.42 KB, 450x320, asdf.jpg)

the technique i've found to work best, is, so basically you're trying to extend the length of your mouth with the hand to feel like a vagoo. right now, if you cup your hand around your mouth and breathe in, you'll feel a suction. if there was a dick there, you'd wrap your hand around it, keeping your mouth on your hand, and suck. this creates a vaccuum effect, with saliva to fill in the cracks between your fingers, by sealing off airflow with your hand. hope that makes sense

No. 112734

farmers, i'm a virgin who doesn't like watching porn. my guy friend (also a virgin) and I are going to hook up within the next few months and i'm excited. he wants to eat me out but I actually don't even know how a guy eats a girl out. what kind of direction should I give him? I don't even masturbate so I honestly don't know what would feel good…

No. 112735

You don't masturbate? Are you asexual?

No. 112737

i just never enjoyed it. last time i did it was like, September of last year honestly. it's not fun for me, i don't know what i'm doing and i don't care enough to try to orgasm. i've never orgasmed either, though i've been close. i'll admit i was raised catholic so i don't know much about my anatomy. that doesn't make me asexual though, i like getting off, i just have some confusion surrounding it i guess. he has gotten me close to orgasming before though, in video calls.

being as unexperienced as i am, i just really need some advice on how to tell an inexperienced guy what to do when he goes down on me. we're both going to be very confused lol.

No. 112738

>i'll admit i was raised catholic so i don't know much about my anatomy

What's stopping you (and him) from googling factual, non porn info about female anatomy though?

No. 112739

i could have worded it better. what i mean is like, i know my anatomy, but i don't know what to do to reach orgasm.

and nothing is stopping me from asking. that's why i just asked this thread.

No. 112742

>How to give someone direction when they're performing sexual acts on you
Be kind and give clear direction, that's really it. If he is the kinda person that can't take feedback at face value, try to prime him before sex happens. At the end of the day your partner has to be able to listen to your feedback bc it's your body and the whole point of going down on you is to get you off. A partner that takes offense to feedback on sex of all things is someone that needs to be booted, experienced or not.

No. 112744

thankfully he's a wonderful guy and there won't be any issues there. i guess what i'm asking here is, what specifically feels good when a guy gives you head? what do guys typically do that isn't great and what would be better?

No. 112755

i'm pretty insecure about my body, especially my butt and i'm also sexually inexperienced. i'm pretty skinnyfat and don't have much of an ass so i'm not into sex positions that make it obvious that i'm not very curvaceous, like doggy. can anyone recommend me positions that they think would be best to sort of conceal this?

No. 112760

There’s really no ‘he needs to do this to get you off’-manual-kind of answer, if that’s what you’re looking for.
Different things work for different people. Some girls like extensive tongue action, others like some suction, some enjoy soft nibbling, some like to be penetrated while being eaten out - and some don’t.

Best advice to give you is to let him know when something he does feels good. (But obviously as well if something doesn’t.)

But most importantly: Don’t expect to orgasm. Don’t plan out every single step. Just don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself and him. It’s your first time. The first time usually isn’t that great. Even if you’ve had sex plenty times having sex with someone new is almost never as good as it gets over time.
Just… don’t expect too much from it.

No. 112762

i don't think you should be focusing on finding positions that "conceal" your body. for now, start with the positions you're most comfortable in, work on yourself, and as you get more confident you can branch out to other positions that your insecurity may be keeping you from enjoying.

No. 112778

hi so today was the first time i ever gave head, and my boyfriend came in under 3-5 minutes. does this mean i'm good or? im really insecure when it comes to this and i want to improve. my throat hurts like a bitch so that's always cool, i loved pleasing him tho. i just wish he came a tad bit more. i mean this is his first time receiving head and my first time giving it. i just want to know if it's a positive thing for him to cum that quickly??

No. 112779

File: 1554789880960.gif (Spoiler Image, 1.91 MB, 400x225, uhV3fgh.gif)

Well done, Anon!
You deserve a medal for that.

No. 112780

Are you underaged?

No. 112781

How could you infer that from how little she (he??? i'm not ruling anything out) wrote?
Get your mind out of the gutter.

No. 112782

Because she asked weird obvious question about things that everybody know about sex?
>GUYS I MADE MY BF CUM WITH MY MOUTH… IS… IS that a good thing? IDK !

No. 112785

Well, I have never made a guy cum with my mouth. And I dont know how long he should last – if he lasts a short time – does that means he's bad in bed? Or am I just that good?
And I'm 22. So there you go. We learn something new everyday.

No. 112795

Don't feel insecure! If you both had fun and it was enjoyable it doesn't really matter.
Try not to measure yourself by arbitrary standards of how long he lasts or how 'good' you are. If it works for both of you then it's fine.

No. 112802

How quickly guys cum depends on their jerking off habits but also general preferences.
Some guys cum easily from blowjobs, some don’t. The first guy I ever gave head to came in like 3-5 minutes as well and I didn’t know shit about what I was doing and there probably were even teeth involved. My current boyfriend has issues coming from it even if I deepthroat him. Like, he‘ll literally shake from pleasure but still won’t come. And he‘d had this with all girls. He needs forever to come, due to death grip.

It’s just really not as simple as
>he comes fast I must be really good
>he doesn’t come fast I must suck

No. 112809

i appreciate the aot gif thx anon, kek.

as a clarification, i’m 18. ik ik late in the dick sucking game, i just know different guys react differently and i was a bit nervous so ig i sounded naive and young. whoopsies.

idk if this would help. but deep-throating and sucking at the tip seemed to do the trick? that was when he came at least. eye contact helps as well. but if you both equally enjoy it, i don’t think there is anything wrong in him not cumming anon!!

No. 112820

File: 1554838522922.jpg (49.26 KB, 590x550, 1554710612806.jpg)

Boobilicious ladies.

I am requesting advice on, well, boob jobs. Boob fuck? Idk what the formal name for it is. I don't watch porn and I have one sexual partner (my husband) so I'm retarded when it comes to this stuff.

I have like a size b-c cup and my husband has requested twice for me to give him a boobjob(?). Yesterday, he asked if I had some kind of tightfitting bra to squeeze my boobs together. The answer was no, but I tried a bra anyway and it was impossible for him to get his wee in there. I don't have huge boobs but I still have some boob so we were able to do it while I was pushing my breasts together, but it was pretty uncomfortable and I am wondering if there is a type of bra that pushes your boobs together but still allows for the wee to enter and not get chaffed in the process. Idk if such a thing exists.

Help, please…

No. 112826

why are you with a man that has requested you get a boob job, let alone twice? that's not cool.

No. 112827

No, not a boob job lol… a boobjob. Where you use your breasts to stimulate the penis. He has never once suggested the former.

No. 112828

Lube up the tiddies? I'm not even an A cup so I have no experience but it sounds like it could help

No. 112831

lmao well I just kinda shimmy up around the dick, get my tits all lotioned up, and go until it gets boring for me, and do something else. There isn't really a bra that works for me (c-d cup) for tit fucking, so I just get him so he isn't looking and then do it. It looks really goofy but I'm just like, hunched over and pushing my boobs together around his dick. Not sexually stimulating in any way for me, but it seems to work for him.

No. 112832

Haha, ok thank you, this is pretty much what I ended up doing too. He seemed to enjoy it but I thought it was goofy af. I'll take >>112828's and your advice of lubing the tiddies and we'll go from there

No. 112836

ohhhhh thank goodness, i read it as "get a boobjob". those chinese amazon bras that are really pretty look like they push together a lot, but i don't think you can put his penis between. basically any bra is going to come inbetween i think?

No. 112837

I think it could work if you push your boobs together with your hands and interlace your fingers across the cleavage

No. 112840

Tell him to man up and use his own hands if he’s so desperate to rub his cock on you. Jesus, how do you think this is your problem?
Also your husband sounds like a degenerate. Tell him to watch less porn, and maybe he’ll enjoy sex more.

No. 112860

File: 1554897399145.png (135.92 KB, 369x319, oshit.png)

My boyfriend has brought up the idea of making a mold of his penis so I can use as a dildo?

Recently he's been super busy at work and not home until late while I'm asleep so we haven't had too much sex since (we used to have sex very frequently every week but it has sadly slow down because of our schedules). Anyone have any experiences with this? Would it just be easier to get a dildo that's the same size as him or . . ? I'm not against the idea but a bit "meh" on it.

No. 112861


Make him do it himself.

Seriously, I was in the same boat as you. My boyfriend asked and I was super embarrassed because my boobs weren't "big" enough to do it myself. I felt uncomfy trying to do it alone. He suggested he could hold them and fuck into them and it worked.

Just lube up your chest a bit and he can do the rest tbh.

No. 112878

That's up to you I guess, you want a special penis or some plain dildo? It'd probably be costly, check to see if whatever company he's thinking of uses good quality material.

No. 112879

Isn't it called tittyfucking? Lol either way squeezing them together helps, also being at a slight downward angle can help extra skin gather up.

No. 112929

Anon, I'm a 30FF and my bf asked me to try it. I have huge tits that could easily do it and yet it sucked. It was awkward for me and was not pleasurable for my boyfriend at all. Like you'd have to squeeze your tits super hard to make a tight space, hope for no boob sweat and then maybe lube it up. It's just a porn thing and for regular, normal people sex it's better to just stick his dick in your vagina where both of you can enjoy it and there's no effort to make a hole out of a weird crevice to fufill some sort of 'porn' fantasy.

Not worth it, tell your husband to get over it since pornstars do actually pleasurable stuff like .01% time and tit-jobs aren't one of them.

No. 112991

I don’t think it’s a just a porn thing. My boyfriend enjoys tittyfucking my boobs lubed up and I normally stimulate my nipples with my hands so I get off on it physically and we both enjoy it. I think the biggest aspect to is the visual/mental appeal though.

No. 112993


Sage for non contribution but same, I really like the visual appeal of it, even if it doesn't "hit any spots" physically. Too bad my tits are too small and a one cup difference to boot. damn

No. 112994

FF isn't a real bra size LMAO.

No. 112996

I'm not even that anon but what are you talking about…? yes it is? a rare size yes, but it definitely exists. I'm a 32f and I very much exist and so do my bras.

No. 113009

nta but F is a real bra size. FF isn't except in Australia and the UK.

But I just assumed 30FF anon was Australian or British.

No. 113133

File: 1555288193541.png (6.89 KB, 649x277, boobjob.png)

I'd try a bra shaper/dirndl bra, I guess, but I've had the most success with one of us just using hands. Let the hand form the 3rd/4th side of the enclosure and avoid contorting yourself in a way that's painful. Basically press his penis to your sternum, and any breast that ends up on either side is extra.

No. 113134

You're fucking retarded. 30FF is definitely a bra size, idiot. I'm a 30H in US sizes but buy bras from brands that tend to carry my size by brands like Panache, Cleo, Freya which size me as a 30FF.

No. 113275

I've been with my boyfriend for around 3 years. All is good but I've always found he's very closed off when it comes to the subject of sex. It's like he gets uncomfortable and won't talk to me about it when I want to.

When we started going out I always felt the need to know if he had any particular kink or wanted to know what kind of porn he liked, etc. He always replied stuff like "I don't know, the usual", and I always got a bit annoyed because I felt he was not being truthful. I even asked him once jokingly when was the last time he jerked off or watched porn once and he got a bit annoyed and told me he didn't need to share EVERYTHING about him with me. So he's clearly uncomfortable with the subject.

The issue is that I find after three years I can't really talk about sex with him, or how to improve it, because I always feel guilty about putting him in this place, and even if I push myself and say "fuck it, he should talk about it" I'm afraid of making him self conscious and ruining the mood. We had a short period of a couple of weeks were he performed badly because of a talk we had about me not reaching an orgasm. He's clearly not very confident in himself and I don't want to hate him for it but help him.

I just want to be able to be kinky with him and to feel more open to ask for stuff during sex, or feel like I can dress somehow and he wont make fun or me or whatever. I have the suspicion that if I act dirty he'll go along with it, but I find it hard to take this step because I'm also pretty shy. I'm aware talking about it in a serious tone is a bad idea, because it just creates an uncomfortable situation for both. I guess my best course of action is to be more talkative and ask him to do what I want and force him to be more dirty? I just find it hard since I always needed some encouragement from the other person to be able to do it.

I really love him and I don't want this to be the thing that separates us, because I do feel that we could change it. It doesnt' help that I also have a really hard time reaching an orgasm, and not with him but with every guy I've been with (I think I've had orgasms like three times in total). And no, I don't usually ask for help after they come because I just feel awkward when they do it. I can't get in the mood.

Any advice?

No. 113279

Careful anon, someone here will probably read this and accuse him of watching cp and snuff which is why he doesn't want to talk about it.

But really, was he raised religiously or something? Seems he feels guilt about it. Or is he just generally shy/closed off?

No. 113282

Lol I can 100% say he's not interested in weird stuff. I just don't see it. I'm sure he's just uncomfortable in general about it, and not very confident. He gets into sex no problem, I just would like to be able to talk more about it and feel confident in being able to express in more kinky ways. He's very closed off with a lot of things in general, he's the typical dude that doesn't cry much, or talk about his feelings.

I just feel he's not confident in going all the way, and I feel the same way sometimes. He also has a low libido and doesn't seem that particularly interested to fuck all the time, like we usually have sex once per night and he's done. Over the years I've sort of got into the same pace as him so it doesn't bother me as much.

I just feel we both need to feel more free and just go for it, but we have a hard time shutting our brains off.

No. 113283

Just wanted to clarify it's not once per night, I usually see him over the weekend, so we fuck once per week.

Also, if he's into something kinky, I don't think I'll mind, unless it's really bad like fecal matter or chocking me to death. I know some anons are going to accuse him of that, I've had friends joke about the same thing, but after three years I'm confident he's just not the typical dude that's horny all the time and wants to sexualize everything. He's just very chill and laid back. Which is good, but it can get frustrating sometimes for me since I would like rougher sex.

No. 113287

>it can get frustrating sometimes for me since I would like rougher sex

Tell him that then.
From reading this I get a feeling that you’re being too pushy or trying to talk about it when younger frustrated or when you’re actually in a sexual situation.

I get that you’re frustrated. But try not to force him into something he doesn’t want. Try telling him ‘Hey, I would really like if we could try this. How do you feel about it/Is that something you would enjoy, too?’

>I'm aware talking about it in a serious tone is a bad idea, because it just creates an uncomfortable situation for both.

It’s not a bad idea.
You’re both adults (I assume) and this is a serious issue that might lead to your breakup eventually. So you need to have a serious talk about it.

No. 113288

I agree with you, I just feel I've tried several times and always end the conversation feeling more frustrated. I remember once I got mad at him, turned my back and he was content not talking to me for over an hour until I talked again. I know it can sound petty too, but I just feel he should be able to talk about this type of stuff after 3 years. We always end up with me telling him he needs to break down that wall and him agreeing, but not really trying anything after that.

I know if I ask would you like to try this etc, I won't get a passionate reply, it will be like an "ok, if you want" and I just get annoyed that I don't know if he wants to or is feeling obligated to do it because I asked?

I know I have little confidence too. I would like to initiate a conversation and feel like we took a step together, or at least get a reply that wasn't so lukewarm from him. I've asked did you enjoy that, did you like how I did that and I get such an awkward "yes" from him that I can't really build up much confidence. I thnk he enjoys the sex, he's just so bad at talking about it.

No. 113788

Any tips on nudes? I don't know where to find the insipiration anymore, all of my nudes keep having the same pose over and over again. Bf doesnt find them boring, but I do.

No. 113793

Try nude yoga or something.

No. 113817

Is the nudes he sends you of super artistic quality or something?

No. 113858

I'm planning on losing my vcard to a guy who has a dick about 7.5 inches and thicker than average. I still have my hymen.
This is gonna be horrible for me, right? He never had sex either.
What can I do?

No. 113859

I was in a similar situation and it just ended up killing my self-esteem even more. Either he does something about his insecurity or you'll need to leave.

No. 113860

Take it slow and don't get upset if you can't make the key fit the lock on the firs try. Neither of you are at fault if it hurts too much. You can always try again another time so just take that moment and enjoy it for what it is. You can use your hands and mouth and have a really nice time regardless of if penis in vagina happens. I was in that exact situation and it took a couple of tries before penetration could happen. It did hurt but only for a little while. Take it slow and be gentle. And don't expect you or the guy to perform amazingly. You are both literally fucking noobs who need to git gut with practise.

Good luck and have fun with it, Anon! :)

No. 113861

Your "hymen"folds will always be there, just more stretched out. Have you been using fingers and sextoys to stretch them out? Try that first.

No. 114157

Any tips on making a guy cum more easily? I've started becoming sexual only months ago with my first boyfriend (who's also my first sexual partner). We aren't ready for PiV so I've just been giving him oral and handjobs.

The issues are that I really don't have enough forearm strength to give him firm and lengthy handjobs. He also doesn't seem to cum easily from my blowjobs, so he'll just start jerking himself off to finish. It's kinda embarrassing for me to suck so much at this (in both senses) especially since he's such a wonderful partner, so I would appreciate any tips on how to give him more satisfying experiences.

No. 114159

Is he cut? It may not be an issue with your technique if so

No. 114161

No he's uncut.

No. 114163

Does he masturbate a lot and/or watch porn? I had an ex who was uncut and it was impossible to make him cum because he was a porn addict and chronic masturbator. It wasn't an issue with my technique I think either because my partner after him (who was cut) had no trouble cumming with me. In any case, if it's not a porn/masturbation issue, you should just ask him what feels best.

No. 114165

He used to watch porn often but said that he doesn't get off to porn as much anymore and prefers pictures of me/fantasies he has involving me. I would say he masturbates at least one or twice a week.

I guess I'll talk to him more about his preferences and see where that goes. Thanks!

No. 114183

it's normal for dudes to not be able to cum from a blowjob. my boyfriend says it feels really fuckin good when i blow him, he just can't cum from it.

No. 114184

It has probably nothing to do with you, a lot of men tend to squeeze their penis really hard when they masturbate to the point where stimulation from a mouth isn't enough to make them cum. I can only make my bf cum from a bj if I squeeze his dick super hard and suck him off for 30 min straight, which is really tiring and not sexy, I'll usually just suck him off for 10 - 20 min and he'll finish himself.

No. 114187

lmao why are you doing that to urself

No. 114189

Because it's way easier ? I'd rather him finish himself off than break my jaw giving him a 30 min long strong bj.

No. 114199

I dont feel aroused or any pleasure during any kind of sex (even oral/fingering). His penis entering just feels like two unsexual body parts mashing. I really care about my bf and I think he's really cute but I have no idea what to do. He even tried to play into my rough sex fanfic fantasy and still nothing. He has had several previous girlfriends and he made them orgasm. Any advice?

No. 114200

Somewhat related to that other anon's bj issue, is it easier to make tiny weak men orgasm due to the lack of high grip strength?

No. 114204

Do you never feel aroused or are you just not into this guy?

No. 114205

If he's uncut, fully retract his foreskin and look at the underside of his dick. Where the shaft meets the tip, there will be a small piece of skin that connects the two. If he hasn't wrecked his dick with porn, this area should be extremely sensitive. Kiss it or lick it and see what he likes.

No. 114208

I feel you. I have this weird issue where I‘ll get super turned on by reading sexual stories or sometimes watching porn, but in real life it just feels really weird.
Idk maybe it’s because I’ve never been really sexually attracted to my partners (even though I did love them) or if I’m not interested in actual sex with other people. Or maybe I’ve built it up in my head so much that it’s impossible for reality to ever meet my expectations.

I don’t know what it is, but it sure as hell is weird to be really horny and fantasize about sex but never get any pleasure from actual sex.

No. 114209

Anon…this sounds pornsick.

No. 114210

>because I’ve never been really sexually attracted to my partners

Why is like half of anons itt together with people they aren't attracted to, and then wonder why they don't enjoy sex?!

No. 114215


I feel like people tend to forget females can become porn sick as well.

No. 114216

bc men are objectively sexually unattractive unless u add a level of self delusion on top. imagining sex is always more pleasurable than sex due to the physical limitations of a male.

the concept of a man is more appealing than the real thing
, therefore the real thing can never compete with masturbation+fantasy but we still try anyway

No. 114220

Speak for yourself.
And don't start a sexual relationship with someone you aren't attracted to, wtf.

No. 114224

>men are objectively sexually unattractive
My god, the man-hate on this website is out of this world. idk if I love it or not.
There are over 7 billion people on this planet, anon. Wild that you think none of them can naturally be attracted to men. You really are pornsick, same level as men who find women with anything less than cartoonish proportions unappealing.

No. 114225

Instead of pornsick, I'm suspecting those anons are actually closeted lesbians or semi-asexual autists.

No. 114235

I've only ever had one sexual partner, but I've only ever felt aroused while reading/watching porn so idk. Never in real life.

But the thing is, there is no way i'm "porn sick" because I hardly watch or read porn in the first place.

No. 114237

have u considered the fact that normal heterosexual intercourse by design doesn't result in female orgasm and it could be the reason why many straight women prefer fantasy over reality

No. 114238

i'm 30 and have only tried to have sex 2 times, when i was a teenager. i didn't enjoy it either time so i consider myself a stunted virgin. this has been one of the reasons i don't date, i'm pretty embarrassed about it.

my question is, is it possible for me to be normal in bed when i start dating again? is sex pretty intuitive? should i bring up the fact i'm extremely inexperienced? i feel like that's a huge turnoff.

No. 114243

I wouldn't bring it up, sex is pretty easy. He would just think you were a pillow princess or something like if you'd said it had been a while. But you can only get away with that if you're comfortable with penetration. If you end up in love and in a serious relationship with the first guy you get sexual with you'd want to tell him but realistically that's unlikely to happen since it's rare to pick right the first time with so little dating experience. So instead you're probably going to need to date around a little bit to figure out what sort of personality you like which is why I say to keep it private. You might be fine with losing it to someone you love and marry but the emotional vulnerability of sharing that with someone that is so likely to be unsuccessful in the long term might warrant keeping it a private memory. Is there any particular reason you waited this long though? Were you religious?

No. 114244

no, just don't have a very strong desire to date or have sex in general. i have a bit of curiosity and keep thinking about trying dating again but every time i actually go on dates, like from apps and stuff, it just fizzles out. i never feel desire to continue going out with them. maybe i'm asexual or something

No. 114245

If you're not enjoying hetero intercourse then don't do it, but you can't speak for all women. It's a complicated balance of both participants proportions and arousal state, some women can come from penetration alone and some will always need help

No. 114246

we really got the short end of the stick. i'm not gender dysphoric but i would i could turn into a man when i get horny and just go fuck randos. getting off so easily for no effort must be awesome.

No. 114247


and before incels come in talking about how it's hard to get laid, i'd be fucking other men on grindr

No. 114248

You should be comfortable mentioning to him your sexual inexperience. If he's "turned off" and wants to ignore it, then he's an asshole and you shouldn't be doing it with him because he only cares about himself and his own pleasure.

Be open and honest and just have fun. It will all come naturally.

No. 114249

File: 1556852908638.png (979.79 KB, 1280x800, so_happy.png)

I owe you all an update as Its been a month now and your advice >>111899 has dramatically changed our sex lives
>get him to do push-ups and sit-ups until he can't do another one and then wrestle since he's ok with making it fairer. It's basically nerfing your strength to try to fight with tired muscles.

the first time we tried it like this It felt like a whole new world,he tried to be aggressive and hold me down but I overpowered him and got loose easily and then I held him down.I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in so he couldn't get loose, I used my legs to thrust into him as much as I pleased while in missionary.all the while he was squirming and getting embarrassed,I was also hissing some obscene comments in his ear that I had practiced like "be a good little boy" and "you're going to get fucked by me, and you're going to like it." this was his first time being in a submissive role and since then our relationship on all levels is still the same but in bed I'm taking the more dominant role more often and we have also changed the rules a little bit,Instead of Push ups to failure were doing a set number of Push ups thats slowly Increasing (currently he's at 35 Push ups)
this whole thing Is making him workout a lot more as before he never used to exercise

No. 114259

Is there any way to learn how to have vaginal orgasm?

No. 114263

It's more about how your nerves are aligned. But experiment and see what kind of stimulation you like.

No. 114264

Are you sure you're straight? Men are not objectively sexually unattractive, plenty of women are very sexually attracted to men, all kind of men can turn on straight women, some like fat men, some like muscular men, some like cute skinny men… if ZERO men attract you or turn you on, maybe you're a lesbian and you definitely shouldn't torture yourself with straight sex if you don't want it or enjoy it.

You don't HAVE to have boring PIV even in an heterosexual relationship, learn to have boundaries and refuse painful, uncomfortable or unpleasurable sex. Demand to be eaten out or fingered until you come and if the dude refuse just drop him, life is to short to have shitty painful sex, you'll end up hating your partner.

No. 114267

File: 1556882433674.gif (1.17 MB, 640x640, catbug.gif)

What kind of sex drive do you consider as normal?

I am pretty sure that I am just overthinking, since I came back to my s/o after two months without seeing him, but…

Thing is, I love him so much that I end up being aroused around him so easily. It's been 2 days since I'm back and we've been having sex 7 times now, thanks to me. But I can't help it and remind myself that before I had to leave for these 2 months due to family issues, we've always had sex at least 3 or 4 times a day. I am always the one to start and he loves it alot, but at the same time I am worried that it might end up affecting us at some point because he works alot. (He oftenly feels tired from work when he arrives) But God I can't help but always think of lewd stuff quite often when we are together. I don't mean that all i do is just hop on his cock, our relationship is going very well, but still…!

I might be overthinking because I have gone through alot of stress lately, but oof.

No. 114268

I have my first bf atm and have a really weird issue.
I have huge trouble orgasming from penetration. Or even feel any pleasure from penetrative stimulation. Except for the like 30-60seconds when my boyfriend has just cum inside of me while I’m on my stomach and his dick gets flaccid again while he’s still inside of me. When that happens he always hits a spot in really good way. But it never lasts long enough to really make me come or anything as he gets even softer, obviously.

I have tried hitting that spot with vibrators or dildos and also my fingers in several different positions, I‘ve tried finding a position during sex that helps him hit this spot - but nothing seems to work.

Is there something else that can help me find this certain spot? I‘m pretty sure I can feel my g-spot when fingering myself but stimulating it really does nothing at all for me and pressing or rubbing harder just hurts.

I‘m so confused as I always feel like I‘m just not made for vaginal stimulation but then he comes and it feels AMAZING for a few seconds and then it’s gone.

No. 114272

tell him this exactly, first of all

then try experimenting with dick insertion. have him just put the tip in or one inch or so and feel around. you can also try to show him how to finger you

No. 114288

File: 1556926445836.jpg (622.49 KB, 1125x1032, image0-48.jpg)

Men only turn me on if they're fictional and effeminate, though it's kind of going away too.

I have attempted to have a straight relationship after years of flicking bean to 2d and lemme tell you, the sensations down there are absolutely nothing like what I'm used to while masturbating. It's incredibly tedious and underwhelming even though he's something most women would consider an attentive lover. I'm also not physically attracted to my boyfriend but I think I love him as a person or something. He's not a part of my fantasies or even something I think about when he's banging me. In fact, him reminding me of his presence makes me go arid. Most of the time I genuinely cannot tell the difference between attractive and ugly 3d men because they serve as an obstacle to arousal. I feel like a lot of female attraction to men is based on utility rather than genuine desire.

Anyone else has a similar experience?

No. 114290

Anon…you just aren't sexually attracted to men, it sounds like. Have you ever been attracted to women? If I were you (and also attracted to ladies) I'd just go that route if you split with your bf. By all means stay with him if he's emotionally and romantically fulfilling though.

>I feel like a lot of female attraction to men is based on utility rather than genuine desire

Oddly I think media does portray this often (men are subjects, women are objects that the man does sex to) but it doesn't apply to all of us. I know I get mad aroused just being in physical proximity to the type of men I find attractive lmao, and anons here objectify men often.

Also are you the anon in the men-you're-ashamed-to-say-you'd-fuck thread (I think?) who also was going on about being unsure of when men are ugly? I was the one who replied saying men are swamps lol. They generally aren't very aesthetically pleasing in the same way women are, but they can be/are sexy and appealing to the average straight or bi woman.

No. 114292

Any anons try maca root supplements? Do you take them daily or just before sex?
I'm looking into trying them for libido and energy levels because I've had a lot of trouble with getting tired all the time in the middle of the day and want to try using less caffeine.
I know one thing people warn about is if you have hypertension but afaik I don't. I do take Lexapro 5mg (which I also want to stop partially because it's made it take longer for me to orgasm and makes me less horny but I don't like to tell anyone that when I ask about any of this irl…) I want to taper off that but I'm scared of the withdrawal symptoms and don't know what to do if it turns out I really do need to stay on it, but at such a low dosage…I figure it can't be that bad.
I just want my old sex drive back, it feels like I used to have more of spontaneous one instead of only receptive and now it's harder to get me in the mood too. I thought women get more libido toward their 30s so I don't think it's my age, and my bf is super attractive to me. The only good thing is I know I'm really lucky because I'm only mildly affected and have a "normal" female sex drive but I used to be kind of voracious before I got on SSRIs.
If anyone has recommendations for pills that are good please comment! Or if you found something that works better or know anything about SSRI sexual dysfunction, that's good too. I'm on a budget though too lol.

You might need to be more aroused. What the other anon said about experimenting with positions and toys, and telling him what you told us, is a good idea too. For some women having him come in from behind at a certain angle stimulates the right spot but it's personal how you enjoy it. I've noticed it's easier for me to "hit the spot" with a dildo because I know where to go, so your bf needs you to give him that guidance somehow.

No. 114295

>men are swamps lol. They generally aren't very aesthetically pleasing in the same way women are

Oh boy…average of men is ugly exactly because of women like you and the anon above who keep breeding and procreating with ugly males; spreading the ugliness (and then complaining lmao), and not because a man is somehow magically less good looking than a woman lol.

No. 114296

File: 1556937826865.jpg (283.66 KB, 990x743, 19492.jpg)

Swamp anon here, and I meant in terms of women being softer/more rounded/less hairy/generally having less extreme facial proportions.
I'm also not complaining at all about the men that I do find attractive because, uh, I find them attractive. In fact I'm a hobby artfag and almost exclusively draw such men since they please me so much visually lol.

And I actually think swamps are aesthetically pleasing, what I said in my original post is that they're nice but not in the same, widely accepted way as a spring (woman). The way peat moss sits on the water and the overgrowth of plants can look beautiful, just not in the same delicate way that a spring does. It was a metaphor to clarify my point. That the female form is more conventionally accepted as nice to look at, but the male form also is…just not in the same way.

I think the average man can be nice looking if he takes care of himself in terms of dress/hair care/skincare/etc.
And now I'm wondering what you find attractive though. Is it soft femmeboys? Or chiselled greek statue types?

No. 114297

(not the Anon you're replying to - I'm the one who doesn't understand which men are hot)

I like twinky types, or so I think. Most of my crushes were 2d anyway so idk. And I used to masturbate to women exclusively when I was young, real 3d ones.

No. 114300

It just sounds like you're heavy female-leaning bisexual. I can't speak for lesbians (I'm a bi), but they may claim you if you've never been physically attracted to a real, 3D man.

Regardless, I'm sure it's become apparent that many women who are attracted to men don't feel the same way about them that you do.

No. 114319

I honestly don’t mean to sound rude or anything but it kinda feels like you didn’t really write what I wrote

>you can also try to show him how to finger you

How am I supposed to show him when I can’t do it myself? As I said:
>I‘m pretty sure I can feel my g-spot when fingering myself but stimulating it really does nothing at all for me and pressing or rubbing harder just hurts.
And it’s nothing different when he does it.

>then try experimenting with dick insertion. have him just put the tip in or one inch or so and feel around.

>experimenting with positions and toys

I/we did and do. As I said. We tried any position we could think of but nothing really feels anywhere near as good.

>so your bf needs you to give him that guidance somehow

Yeah, again: I can’t even find it myself, that’s the issue.

Arousal isn’t the problem either. I can edge myself to the point of being able to come from just touching my clit but actually rubbing my g-spot does still do nothing or hurt. I don’t know if I’m just pressing too hard or maybe not hard enough? How much pressure should I apply?

I was hoping that maybe anyone knows anything else besides those obvious tips. Like… I don’t know. I’m desperate.

As I said, don’t mean to come off as rude and I really appreciate your input. But… it’s basically exactly what I said didn’t work for me.

No. 114325

Some women just don't get much out of PIV. It seems to differ a lot between individuals. Most come from stimulating the clit from the outside, not from inside the vagina. Don't press harder if it hurts, obviously.

No. 114331

I'm one of the anons and I did read your post, just honestly our recommendations are probably the only ones worth anything. I can't come from penetration/haven't ever come from it, I've tried but just hasn't happened. A lot of women just can't.
You can keep experimenting but honestly it may just not be something your body likes or can do. It sounds like you may have to try going around what you said does feel nice (when your bf goes flaccid) and replicate it at other times, but it sounds like you may have tried that already. Maybe you need a gentler touch.
I hope you can figure things out anon!

No. 114338

Is it worth checking free testosterone if your level of sexual desire/drive is and always has been nonexistent? My gyno said that testosterone doesn't really effect women's sexual appetite.

No. 114341


Do you think your testosterone levels are too high or too low? It's always good to check your hormone levels but a lack of sexual desire can have many causes. I'm a female with heightened testosterone levels and my libido is pretty high.

No. 114343

>35 push ups
I'm really happy for you, and nerfing him is a great idea. He's definitely only going to get stronger, of course, but I don't see why nerfing wouldn't continue to work.

Ntayrt but if your bf is game, you could try some semi-flaccid penetration in that position. You might need to get him a little harder to get him in there and then have him stay still so he gets softer.

No. 114345

Do you know how high your testosterone is? My gyno said that it has absolutely no bearing on female sexual desire, but that sounds fishy. Can men and women really be that different if its such a sex drive boost for men?

I would be checking if my test is low since I have no sexual desire/drive at all. I know that sexual desire can have many causes but of the ones I've seen none of them seem to apply to me.

No. 114346

>I'm really happy for you, and nerfing him is a great idea. He's definitely only going to get stronger, of course, but I don't see why nerfing wouldn't continue to work.
This is one of those everyone wins moments in life

No. 114403

> I thought women get more libido toward their 30s.

Well, the opposite is true for some. My libido was highest when I was a teenager. The older I get, the lower it gets. I'm on birth control pills, so that may play some role, but I was on them even when my libido was through the roof, so I don't know. I don't see much point in sex anymore.

No. 114406

have you been on different types of BC? I'm wondering if the same thing is effecting me. When I was on IUD, I felt my libido was consistent, but after switching to the pill it's drastically decreased.

No. 114426

I was on different types of BC pills throughout my life, but don't remember what the hormone combinations were exactly when I was a teenager. Currently, I'm on pills that contain 0,020 mg of Ethinylestradiolum and 0,075 mg of Gestodenum, if that helps in any way.

I still feel sexual needs sometimes, but prefer masturbating before having sex. I know sex is meant to bring you closer to your partner, but the problem is I think I never actually felt like it does that to me. I got sexually exploited by an older man when I was quite young and it probably affected how I view sex and intimacy. And the older you get, the more aware of these things you become, I guess, and it's hard to find motivation for having sex with someone when it doesn't feel like it does much for you.

No. 114448

I was late to start having sex (lost virginity at 23) , and still have a lot of sexual dysfunction at 25. I have literally never in my life gotten wet, can't orgasm by myself or with a partner, have pain during certain positions, and I think I dissociate a lot during sex- I'm not sure if that's really the right term but a lot of the time I feel like I let sex happen to me, and then kinda come to and feel freaked out that I've been having sex but don't feel like I was mentally present- like I've suddenly woken up, even though I was awake the whole time. Even when I am enjoying it, it feels like it's a completely different persona, that I feel a bit disgusted and embarrassed of my behaviour afterwards.

I've been sleeping with a guy casually for about 6 months and about 50%+ of the times we have sex I have to take a break in the middle in order to not freak out, or I just start crying randomly during. (He is always nice about it, stops as soon as I say so, checks in on me during, but it still happens) and today when I was recounting that I had a freak out with him recently, and was wondering why he still wants to sleep with me seeing as my problems make it difficult a lot of the time, she mentioned that he probably thinks I have had some kind of serious sexual trauma. I think all of my behaviour/problems put together do point to that, but I've never been a victim of abuse or anything like that, and I can't explain why I react the way I do.

I guess I'm not so much looking for hard advice, just wondering if any other anons have similar experiences or insight? I just don't know why I'm like this.

No. 114452

That sounds rough. Even though you don't have a ton of experience, does it seem like this guy is just shit at sex? Maybe he's just not very receptive to his partner's pleasure. But I guess it seems unlikely that every person you've been with is unable to make you wet or orgasm.
Even if it's not sexual trauma, if you have other mental health issues that could be affecting the way you view yourself/sex and causing you to feel disgusted and detached from it. Something like religious guilt (if you are/were religious) or even internalized misogyny could slightly come into play. I don't experience feelings as extreme as you, but I only lost my virginity and started having sex regularly a few months ago and I did feel embarrassed and a little disgusted after, as if I was some kind of deviant or ruined because of it. I obviously don't actually think that, and I enjoyed myself in the moment, but I think spending too much time on lurking on incel boards caused some self-esteem issues that didn't surface until then.
Maybe take some time to think about if you're even turned on during these encounters and want sex, or if you're just doing it to please the other person. It could also be a physical condition, but it seems like there's some mental stuff at play if you dissociate and feel like crying. It kinda seems like you shouldn't continue having sex with this person if it upsets you and is painful. I hope you're able to figure it out.

No. 114468

Can anyone recommend controlling vibrator? Something like LUSH, Japanese vibro egg. Want to try that w/ s/o.

No. 114469

Seconding everything this anon says. My parents were awful in a litany of ways but their blatant misogyny and disgust towards sex and always accusing me of being a slut (at 15, with no friends even) was already enough to completely fuck my eventual sex life completely. I experienced everything prior anon mentioned and find it hard to enjoy sex and not kind of just "perform" it. Also a very broken and shameful catholic background which helps nothing, and shit body image

Try the masturbation thread friend, lots of good recs

No. 114479

>and today when I was recounting that I had a freak out with him recently, and was wondering why he still wants to sleep with me seeing as my problems make it difficult a lot of the time

because he's a man and you're giving him free pussy. it's not any deeper than that

that said, i would recommend masturbating more. figure out what gets you off. a lot of female sex drive is mental. you can't just rub yourself and get off like a guy can. you may have to imagine something other than the real-life situation during sex to get off. try looking at different kinds of porn (just not shitty paid porn that abuses women)

No. 114481

Yeah my money is on the probability you encoded that sex = shameful or disgusting for women at point along the line. Like the other anon said, this is not uncommon with religious upbringing girls who have sexual dysfunction even after saving it until after marriage (and it's actually because of saving it for marriage by shaming their sexuality for all their lives). Even if you aren't religious, culture isn't exactly devoid of messages that women having sex is sluttish or degenerate behaviour on some level. You might want to check out the book Come As You Are or other sex-positive kinda resources. You're allowed to want sex, but you might need to teach yourself that first. Go get your nut.

No. 114553

Im new to sex and i dont feel anything during sex even if he stimulates my clitoris with his mouth/fingers for a while. Im not having pain or anything im just not feeling any sensation at all. I really like the guy and we definitely have an emotional bond. I've honestly never felt aroused kissing guys or getting handsy with them before so i thought i needed an emotional bond instead. I dont really feel anything towards women either.

How can i improve my situation? I want to enjoy sex. He's had previous relationships and his dick is really girthy.

No. 114558

Do you masturbate? If you do, do you get wet?

No. 114576

im a virgin with a bf and were planning to have sex soon… and im just wondering whats an ideal dick size for getting off vaginally (no clit). he was kind enough to tell me his measurements without lying (7 in length, 6 in girth). will this hurt me for my 1st time?

No. 114577

Not sure if i get wet but im able to orgasm to porn and sometimes imagination on my own by rubbing my clit

No. 114585

It completely depends on whether you are relaxed and aroused enough. Size doesn't matter. Even a pinky finger can hurt if you aren't relaxed.

No. 114588

Make sure to do enough warming up before he starts touching your clit, I can get aroused just kissing my bf, but I know if I skip soft foreplay (kisses, gentle touch, dirty talk,, skin to skin, etc…) I'm going to be almost completely numb down there.

No. 114598

We usually kiss and grind for like 10 minutes atleast first. I dont know why i feel this way. He makes me feel so loved and sexy and comfortable in and out of the bedroom. Its really bugging me.

No. 114611

File: 1557528484421.png (591.27 KB, 1000x1000, 1547547000254.png)

Anyone else dealing with bacne insecurities during sex? I can't do doggystyles or anything from the back because I'm so insecure by the scarring from years ago that just won't go away!

No. 114613

Why not just get it lasered/needled/chemical peeled off or something? If your acne is over then it's safe to do.
But keloids are a bit more difficult, sometimes even impossible to be rid of. If that's the case you've just gotta cope, anon.

No. 114619

Does it take you a long time to reach orgasm when you masturbate?

Personally, it takes me around 20 - 40 minutes to reach climax by myself. I've been active sexually for 6 years and have always been numb there as well. Never had an orgasm with a partner. I figured cause it takes so long alone that I'm probably not a very sensitive person in general.

Maybe toys will help, like a vibrator, to create a stronger sensation. Not all women feel anything from simple POV or cunnilingus, just the sad truth.

No. 114620

Are you on birth control? That can have a large affect on lust/sensitivity.

No. 114628

He really wants to do oral on me but he’s also a virgin who doesn’t watch porn / research any sex advice. He said he wanted to put his tongue inside my VJ straight away and I cringed so much and asked him to finally watch porn to see how to do oral properly. He doesn’t even know where the clit is… I just hope the sex isn’t bad between two virgins but he’s really adamant about being clueless so he can experience stuff for the first time with me.

No. 114633

A guy who doesn't watch porn?
That would be a first

No. 114635

Their a rare breed and often times their virgins

No. 114638


They're rare, but they exist. My boyfriend is sexually experienced and of course has watched porn at some point but he never made it a Habit, even as a teenager, because he always saw it as weird and off-putting. Now that I have him I really don't know why I put up with porn addicts before and thought it was just something I had to live with.

No. 114639


samefag, forgot to ask: are you on any birth control or antidepressants?

No. 114648

Yeah, my virgin bf is a bit of a prude and says it’s weird to see random ppl fucking without emotional intimacy, bond and connection. He sees porn as vulgar, aggressive and not romantic. He also thinks blow jobs are emotionally distant and doesn’t want any at all for some reason. Idm cause I don’t want dick in my mouth. That nasty.

Anyways, even though he hasn’t seen any porn, he’s has jacked off with his imagination before. I don’t know how he does it. It’s easier with visual stimuli lmao.

No. 114649

No it takes me like a minute to orgasm alone just by rubbing my clit if I want to rush it.

Was on birth control and an antidepressant. Got off both like 4 months ago but still no improvement at all. All I know is I can get aroused and feel sensation easily through porn/fanfic but not through foreplay with any of the guys I've tried it with. Dont have any interest in girls. I heavily insert as the person receiving dick when i watch porn/read fanfic or use my imagination and i get really aroused but i cant translate it to real life?

I can stimulate my gspot with my finger too and orgasm pretty quick alone if i wanted to. I dont watch porn often at all though. I literally just started bupropion to see if that could jump start my sex drive if I'm still having effects from the ssri because I'm so desperate to feel aroused by anything.

No. 114702


Sounds like you're porn sick to be honest.

No. 114725

Porn does not demonstrate how to eat pussy properly. Just tell him where your clit is and tell him to start licking. If it feels good tell him to do more, if it isn't right then tell him to change to something different until you find something. Also, sometimes tongue going in the vj feels better than direct clit stimulation, or at least in my opinion. (The clit does extend into the vagina so it's not like it would feel pointless.)

No. 114891

Does anyone hate kissing and tongue stuff? I love romance but it always has just felt so gross to me. I feel bad for my boyfriend sometimes because he always wants to kiss me but I just find it nasty. I really want to get over it.

No. 114897

I'm not a fan of kissing either and it's kinda hard to explain without ruining a guy's self steem. I mostly keep it to myself until I'm intimate enough.

No. 114899

God you don't deserve him. He's not a prude he's just a decent human being.

No. 114915

Late reply but I still think it's worth typing out because I had a similar experience the first few times I had sex and I worked out what caused it. It wasn't shame or anything like that, it was issues I had with trusting others.

Like you I waited until I was 23 before having sex. The man I was doing it with would later become my husband. Before meeting him I'd always been a loner and preferred to keep my distance from other people. Being in love was extremely confusing for me because for the first time in my life I had someone outside of my family that I wanted to be close to.

On the night that it happened I was looking forward to it. He didn't make me feel pressured and gave me lots of reassurance. I enjoyed the build up and foreplay even though I was nervous. It wasn't until he was on top of me with his dick inside me that the mental panic started. I felt very vulnerable and it was as though I didn't have any control over what was happening to me. Physically it felt uncomfortable but not painful. Considering it was my first time, I think he was too rough with me. I doubt this was intentional on his part. I should have been communicating with him about how I felt. The problem was I froze, never said anything and pretended that it wasn't happening. When it was over I went in the bathroom and cried. I had to shove a towel in my mouth to muffle the sobbing so he couldn't hear it. I felt completely violated even though I had consented to the situation.

I lied to him and said I enjoyed sex, so we kept doing it. I never told him about how I felt because I didn't want to hurt him and I was in some sort of denial over it for while. Every time we did it the feeling at the point where I panicked became less intense and this is when I started to work out what my problem was. The loss of control and vulnerability I felt was because I wasn't ready for that level of intimacy. Being aloof and distant with people was my way of having control. Allowing him to get so close to me that he was inside me shattered the personal boundaries that I'd put around myself for so long. I started to realise that it was ok to have sex with him, it was ok to relax and enjoy it. He's someone I love and trust who isn't going to hurt me or humiliate me.

No. 114999

what’s so wrong about watching porn?

No. 115091

File: 1558184840410.gif (Spoiler Image, 1.18 MB, 460x238, pos.gif)

This is a nice position where both partners are in control of the situation, do you like it?

No. 115098

I don't like it a lot, my neck gets sore super fast. I prefer to stimulate my partner then receive oral separately. But I understand the appeal, it's the neck thing that ruins it for me

No. 115102

Since I‘m quite tall it has never really worked for me. I usually have to be in a super weird and uncomfortable angle to be able to suck him and still have my vagina in his face. So mostly I just end up licking his balls and jacking him off, which is obviously not the point.
I also don’t like having to focus on sucking dick while I‘m getting eaten out. I have to be able to let go and relax 100% to really get anything out of (passive) oral.

So yeah, not really for me.

No. 115112

I rarely watch porn of any kind zzz I wish there was an answer to my problems i guess im just fucked

No. 115122

I hate kissing. my current bf (who is my first ever bf) has a mustache and facial hair and it irritates my face, plus just the wetness and whatever is really gross. he's not great at it either, but tbh idk what a good kiss is suppose to feel feel like, really. I think kissing is not in theory, or when I'm watching porn or w/e, but I just absolutely hate it irl. glad to know I'm not the only one lol. I especially feel bad bc it really turns him on.

No. 115123

*kissing is hot in theory

No. 115130

Look for a beard oil that won't break you out and gift it to him. You can even tell him it irritates your skin and he should have no problem trying to fix that. As for the rest, practice makes perfect. Communicate.

No. 115160

It doesn't even need to be beard oil. When my husband grew out his beard I would rub coconut oil and sandalwood essential oil into it. The coconut oil softens and conditions the hair while the sandalwood oil is an antiseptic that stops him from smelling like whatever he ate for lunch.

No. 115270

Okay, I hope some anons can help me. I'm pretty new to sex and have had problems with birth control - made me really dry. Switched bc, but use cream daily to keep wet. Switch was too recent to really change anything.
Problem is I'm kinda tight and need lots of fingering beforehand. When I'm being penetrated it feels kind of uncomfortable, like he is pulling something out? Don't know how to describe it but the feeling spreads to my anus. Like some weird pressure that gets worse and worse even when I'm on top. Is this normal? Is it because of birth control? Do I just continue? I hope it's not tmi I'm just trying to include everything that could be important.

No. 115281

cream on the outside won't help with sex (should you be putting cream down there at all?) but I assume you are so uncomfortable you need it. no judgin'. The tightness and uncomfortable feeling during sex is due to the lack of natural lubrication by your body. If you can abstain from sex until your body has returned to normal it will be safer for you. I would be worried about injuring myself with that description of pulling feeling. That's not how it's supposed to feel.

No. 115288

Have you tried regular lube? It might help. Just keep reapplying as it dries out. Also, you might need more foreplay to loosen things up. The pulling feeling is strange, I wonder if there's anyway you could elaborate on that? I'm having trouble understanding what you mean. If you are dry his fingers might be catching on your skin a bit.

No. 115365

is casual/tinder sex valid? I'm going to ireland soon and am considering hookin up with a guy over there but idk

No. 115483

what do you do if you accidentally got addicted to using a vibrator to get off?

i used to be able to orgasm with my boyfriend multiple times easily, but a couple months ago we got a vibrating plug to play with and now i can't get off with him anymore.

i have been getting off alone by humping a pillow and holding the vibrator against my clit. i'm also having trouble orgasming by myself if I don't use it.

should i just cold turkey? :(

No. 115485

just be careful/use protection. you wanna use the same rules as you do when you meet strangers on the internet for the first time. meet first in a public place.

No. 115507

you can definitely try different kinds of stimulation or do whatever, but you're not getting 'addicted' to a vibrator. it just gets you fully turned on and/or gets you off faster than other means.
especially if you can get off from humping something eg a pillow… like the problem seems to be the 'something' you're humping is your bf?

No. 115509

This is bad/dumb advice. A vibrator is obviously different from a dick, unless you have a vibrating man.
Anon should ditch the vibe and get back in touch with reality. She's lucky to be able to get off with PIV prior this so that's something worth keeping.

No. 115535

that's totally what's happening, anon.

No. 115541


Your clit is just getting desensitized, it's easily reversible. Just go cold turkey for a while to get learn orgasming using fingers again, or even better, try to not masturbate for a while, thereafter stick to only doing it every other day or less if you are able to. You will get back in touch with "reality" after a while and even experience more intense orgasms.

No. 115547

I've stopped using mine for about 2 months and am finally starting to feel things when my boyfriend touches me. It's still not as good, though. I am hoping it gets better.

Basically it's the same as suffering from death grip for a dude. It should get better if you lay off, but not for a while. Definitely stop using it if you want to have any hope of reaching an orgasm without it.

No. 115567

Okay so since we’re already talking about abstinence in order to re-sensitize your clit…

Since my bf had a really busy month (work wise) which left basically no room for sex stuff. So I thought I might as well use the opportunity and refrain from masturbation, so maybe I’d become more sensitive in general.
However, I feel like the abstinence has a really bad effect on my libido. Like, the less regularly I have sex or masturbate, the less I want either of those.

Right now I’m a few days away from having my period so I’m pretty hormonal and have a very ambivalent libido anyways. But over the past 2 weeks or so it’s been basically absent, even when I was ovulating. And it’s frustrating because I miss wanting sex, being horny and all that jazz.

Does anyone know what I could do to boost my libido? I heard maca powder might help?

No. 115581

More of a vent but whatever.
I've been sat on our bed in a towel, all shaved and clean and smelling great. I was feeling confident and horny. I said we should do stuff tonight so he's aware I'm waiting.
He just… Wouldnt come over? Or look at me? For the past 40 mins. He was playing a game (that he's played all day.) about 5 steps in front of me. Its just making me feel so ugly and worthless I guess. When he did come over I just felt so… Out of the mood and disgusting and like I'm pathetic so I just didn't want to do anything.
He's never really eagerly wanted to do anything sexual, it's always sort of planned or done when I'm about to go to sleep. Idk I'm just feeling sad/frustrated and I don't know how to be more attractive for him.

No. 115590

Have you tried telling him this? Hopefully he'd show more enthusiasm if he knew it's bothering you so much.

No. 115591

Ty for the reply. Yeah I have and we've discussed our problems regarding this stuff to death. I feel like it goes no where and he just hates me but doesn't want to leave me cause I'm okay at cooking and cleaning.

No. 115593

This was my old relationship with my ex, it makes you feel so unsexy,
undesired, and for me I felt like a big baby.
In the end he dumped me, and it hurt at first, but years later I'm so grateful I'm with someone who wants me sexually.

Honestly, if I don't masturbate at least once a week I can go a year without it.
I have to masturbate regularly to feel any sort of libido.

No. 115596

Anon, please don't beat yourself up over it. My ex made me feel like a gross unwanted horndog. It wasn't my fault, I had men who were dying to get with me, it was his. I did my best and it sounds like you are too. Has he said why he's not interested? Being ignored whenever you try in favor of some stupid game sounds painful, that's literally what I went through too. Is he asexual or pornsick or depressed or is he just not into you?

No. 115610

I don't know. I talked with him about it and he told me he just didn't think about me that way last night (as in, he didn't think me laying there naked in a towel was anything special lmaoooo great ikr). He doesn't watch porn, I'm trying to get him to go to therapy and he is waiting for an appointment he was super depressed before I met him and he says he still might be so yeah. Talking with him in the past though he's told me he thinks it how stressed and anxious he gets and I understand that but for me it seems like he just… Doesn't think about me in that way. It makes me feel like he isn't into me and I've gave him so many chances to be truthful and admit it to me but he swears he is. I told him last month if it doesn't improve I don't know if we can stay together, since then we've done it once, so I just masturbate almost every day (which makes me feel embarrassed and disgusting lol). I feel so bad telling other people about it since I haven't been able to ask for help for around 2 years because I don't want to hurt him by telling someone about our problems but I just don't know what to do.
Other than our sex life the relationship feels so perfect and exactly what I want but because I have such low self esteem and depression (I am going to therapy for this though) it really fucks with my mental health. Sorry for the long reply.

No. 115612

>feeling sexy, smelling great in just a towel whilst you're ignored by a man glued to his computer.
I posted this exact scenario in the relationship thread, should we just name this common phenomenon already?
Rejection is fine, but being ignored is just insulting. Being expected to still be available after so long is salt in the wound.

No. 115661

I quit smoking weed 6 weeks ago to get a job, hopefully I can start smoking again this week once I go through training at my new job. However in the past 6 weeks, I have had absolutely no libido whatsoever. I used to smoke avg. 3 bowls a day and would get horny as hell and masturbate all the time, now I've used my hitachi like twice in those six weeks and never feel like having sex with my boyfriend. I also only had sex for the first time with this boyfriend 2 weeks before I quit smoking weed, so I literally cannot tell if I just am not into him sexually and thats all around killed my libido or if its quitting weed? If any stonerfags have any stories about weed correlating to libido I'd appreciate it, I kind of feel like a freak cause I used to love having sex/masturbating and I feel bad mentally pinning it on my boyfriend when it might've just been quitting weed cold turkey.

No. 116238

I never cared about losing my v card and always wanted to just get it over with and sleep around with people + have fun, but I lost it later than I wanted to with a one night stand and haven't been able to find anyone else to hook up with. It's affected my self esteem a lot even though I get a lot of compliments it just seems like men aren't into me? I dress pretty alt and I wonder if people find that intimidating pls help

No. 116289

Sorry for retardation in advance. I don't know much about sex. My BFs dick is on the smaller size(probably like 3-4 inches? Idk I never asked and I don't really care to know). It's hard to get it in especially because of wetness and stuff it slips out all the time. I'm on birth control and was wondering if it would be easier without a condom? Does the lube from the condom make it harder to get in?

No. 116292

Why have sex with a guy who has 3 inches only? His penis is just not penetrable and I feel for you because during intercourse the fullness is the only good feeling the numb-fit-for-childbirth vegene can feel. The only solution for you is to let him wear a 9 inch strap that has the outer end plugged in his butthole. You both will feel amazing and you will thank me.

No. 116293

Lmao, anon. Telling any guy that his dick is too small would destroy his entire world. Thanks for the idea though.

No. 116294

>9 inch strap on
Did a guy write this? Fuck off

No. 116302

This, I wonder if it's dick sperg scatfag.
By the sounds of that post he must have done this and gotten laid though. Congrats, I guess?

No. 116408

Try without a condom (be safe, though) and try different positions. Get turned on beforehand, and make sure you're getting clitoral stimulation during sex so you can enjoy it.

No. 116413

Position recommendations if your height difference is 20cm? My partner is taller than me.

No. 116426


i dated someone who was 2 meters tall and it was all around awkward. but from what i can tell you…
don't try shower sex coz its awkward af. ride on top (best way imo). kneel on an elevated surface like a bed or couch and do doggy. you can also use cushions or pillows. if he's strong enough he can lift you up and pin you against the wall. also try some really high heels and bend over for him.

No. 116476

Sorry for the virgin/retard question but when having sex, should I use birth controls AND a condom or will one of those suffice? Anything I should know? Inputs much appreciated. Getting preggo would be the death of me.

No. 116478

using both definitely lowers the risk factor much more so than using one, so if getting pregnant is definitely not on your to-do list, using both would be your best bet. If he finishes outside of you (say, finish by removing the condom and jerking him off) then that will also lower the risk of pregnancy.

also anon, don't have sex with him if you don't feel like you could ask him to stop at any time before or during and that would be fine. You don't know how you'll feel during your first time and being able to stop if you get overwhelmed is important. I had a lot of terrible sex from wanting to please my partners instead of caring for myself before I met my current bf, who will stop the second I express discomfort. It makes the whole experience much better.

No. 116487

You should probably use a condom in case of STDs anyway. Even if he says he's a virgin better safe than sorry since he might just lie or is a moron who doesn't know you can get STDs from oral or whatever.

No. 116511

File: 1560195557373.png (Spoiler Image, 26.6 KB, 724x838, 1550933880194.png)

How can I deal with my total insecurity about my pubic hair? I wax as much and as often as I can but there are some periods during the year (see exams) where i literally don't have time to go get waxed and since I'm very hairy down there shaving is just a pain in the ass (quite literally), My bf told me that it doesn't bother him and he is very supportive but all of my female friands always tell me how their bfs are deeply grossed out if they don't shave and i literally can't bring myslef to have sex (or anything at all on me tbh) if I'm not perfectly waxed. how do i get over this? am i just retarded?

No. 116512

Some guys think it's gross but some think it's sexy.
If your boyfriend is fine with it he's fine with it.

No. 116513

Thank you, anons! Love you gals lol

No. 116514

>friands always tell me how their bfs are deeply grossed out if they don't shave
Only manchildren who look at sterile porn get grossed out at pubic hair. Bet those same guys don't trim at all and think giving oral is gross while they expect blowjobs all the time. If you have a lot of hair the most you have to do as far as grooming is trimming it.

No. 116517

>My bf told me that it doesn't bother him and he is very supportive
Believe him. Let him show you how it doesn't matter to him.

No. 116532

Is it normal to feel pain around the hymen area ONLY during penetration or a dick slipping out? Once the dick is in me it’s fine but I always have a momentary “ow” moment for a split second as it goes in. Fucking itself feels fine. But it’s like the ring around my vag opening is really sensitive. Could it be a partially untorn hymen or something?

No. 116536

File: 1560235607694.jpg (41.84 KB, 300x296, tumblr_o3smb5YAwh1uixsrjo1_400…)

im hooking up with this guy at parties and the first time we were both pretty drunk but he finished twice although, it was very difficult to get him hard like he would go hard but then lose it.

the second time we were both drunk again, it was supposed to be a quickie but then he had the same problem again only this time he stopped me and said to leave it there.

i'm sure he is an alcoholic and that can cause erectile dysfunction but he's also only 22!

i feel so weird and some part of me thinks this is my fault like not being able to get him off (?) so stupid

No. 116537

This might be a shot in the dark, but I’m wondering if any other anons have experienced something similar.

Occasionally, I cry during sex. Not like “this is so good” crying, but like a sudden emotional punch in the gut sobbing? It ONLY happens when there’s penetration. The first time I was ever fingered, I started sobbing uncontrollably immediately. Over time, it got better. The first two months I was sexually active, I cried every single time. Over time, it took longer to trigger it and after years, I’m now at a point where it’s rare but i still warn people about it just in case because it’s so overwhelming that I sometimes struggle to talk and I absolutely need everything to stop immediately. I’ve talked to my female friends about this and they’re clueless as to what I’m describing. My male partners have never experienced it with other girls either.

It’s no longer a major issue in my sex life, but I’m annoyed that it happens at all. I don’t remember ever being sexually abused as a child, but I feel like that’s the only explanation. Am I alone in this?

No. 116549

Have you ever heard the phrase 'whisky dick'.
Even if he wasn't an alcoholic, just being drunk can mess with the bloodflow.

No. 116552

I looked this up online years ago when Google's results actually showed you relevant results from small forums and blogs, and it did seem to be a thing that just happened to some people for literally no reason. Some people also cry during orgasm for no emotional reason, just due to crossed signals in the brain.
I used to have unexpected crying too, but in my case it was definitely due to any number of emotionally traumatic issues in my early sexual experiences that I was completely ignoring for years. However it doesn't necessarily have to come from abuse, for example it can be linked to internal shame of sex.
If it concerns you then go to a therapist or talk it out with a partner, but if it's stopped and it's not bothering you then it probably isn't anything to worry about. However it can be distressing for your partner if they are making you cry by having sex with you.

No. 116557

It's funny how most women rate the quality of their sexual experiences by how much the guy gets off

No. 116559

I can understand it being an overwhelming experience, especially if you're not comfortable with feeling vulnerable for whatever reason. What are you feeling emotionally at the time?

No. 116560

Well men do it too. They often feel like compete failures if the woman does not fake her orgasm or if she touches her clit to have an actual orgasm. They’ve been led to believe they should be good enough at performing that they can get a woman off solely through PIV when something like only 20% of women can get off solely through PIV.

No. 116563

Because women don't speak the fuck up. How is a guy supposed to learn anything about a woman's body if they don't say anything and continue to fake orgasms? Before you know it they carry over their cancerous ideology to the next partner and then it becomes her fault because "there's something wrong with you, my last 3 partners came at least 50 times in succession when I jackhammered them!!!"

Besides at least guys usually finish. This anon made her guy finish twice last time and somehow she thinks she's insufficient. How many times did he make her cum? Did he even bother? Why is she worrying she's not good enough? He should be the one worrying.

No. 116565

Yes let's blame the women for not speaking up after being shamed into silence due to a lifetime of being told they're disgusting sluts if they enjoy sex, having a massive lack of education about their bodies to the point some women have never had an orgasm well into their adulthood or being confused about where pee comes from, acting like a woman masturbating is a hellacious sin while men are all expected to do it every day, the list goes on.

Of course they 'should' but they also shouldn't have to and men should be more concerned about women's pleasure in the way women are concerned about men's pleasure.

No. 116567

If they are so shamed why have sex in the first place? Why fake orgasms and pretend to enjoy it in the first place? I think it's less of an issue about being shamed and an issue with self-worth in general. Many women go into their 40s without having a pleasurable sexual experience. When do they learn to think for themselves? When do their gain their own self-agency? We can blame men for everything but women also exacerbate the problem for themselves and other women.

I see what you're saying about better sex education though. Until I was 22 I thought pee came out of the clit… Sex education is truly awful and is all based on fear instead of actual knowledge.

No. 116574

yikes a tradthot

No. 116575

How did you come to that conclusion? Do you know what words mean?

No. 116579

Ah yes, the old "everyone who disagrees with me must be part of a group I don't like".

No. 116581

File: 1560269811021.png (Spoiler Image, 120.98 KB, 523x373, Screen Shot 2019-06-11 at 12.1…)

No. 116584

It’s always like a sad emotional experience, even if I’m otherwise happy. When it happened more regularly, it was like every negative emotion I’d ever felt hitting me all at once. Now it’s just a little knot in my throat and I need a breather lol

Another weird thing I’ve noticed, it happens more frequently with some partners but not others? I used to be into older men and they triggered it significantly more than someone my age, despite relatively similar sexual experiences.

No. 116585

tbh alcohol is probably the issue, but sex doesn’t have to center around orgasms at all. If you’re gonna keep hooking up, it could be worth while to purely fool around without the pressure of penetration. Sometimes being nervous can make a guy soft!

And just like women can get themselves off when a guy can’t do it, men can totally jerk off instead and that’s fine. It’s rly not about skill or being unattractive or whatever, sometimes people are just sexually incompatible and it requires a little extra to get somewhere lol

No. 116589

Anybody else prefer sex sober than drunk? Drunk I feel less shy and all but it's harder to get wet and feel pleasure so it kind of sucks. Most of the time I can't orgasm when drunk no matter how much stimulation I get but I'd always have sex anyways just for the sake of it. lol

No. 116600

Yes, I think that's possible anon. I have the same experience sometimes, especially if I've been having less sex. I had a very tight hymen and had to dilate it before I started having penetrative sex or using tampons and if I'm not fully aroused it seems like I'm still pretty tight.

No. 116680

This is a normal reaction to alcohol.

T. Nurse

No. 116737

I have alot of questions and just things on my mind.

-Is it normal for your labia to be dry during sex? Should the natural lubricant that the vagina makes be going to that part? Whenever he goes to insert his penis it hurts and I end up with a friction burn (even if I come from oral before and/or use lube). He pretty much has to force his penis into my vagina because my lips are so dry. I've even tried moisturizing them with coconut oil in the shower

-How do I not feel awkward when we are having sex in positions where I am dominate (like riding)? He is very much attracted to me and very eager for sex, but I feel like he is doing me a favor by sleeping with me and I feel like I am violating him somehow whenever I grind against him.

-How do people just turn their minds off during so that they only focus on the pleasure? My mind goes a mile a minute telling me to just enjoy it/focus and not to do certain things and I end up never being "in the moment"

No. 116738

-I cannot feel my clit at all when there's a penis in me. I don't know if it's him constantly bumping up against me making me lose my spot or the fact that there's someone else in the room while I'm trying to masturbate. Whatever it is, it makes it impossible to orgasm from penetrative sex. Is this normal to not feel your clit?

-Am I really missing out on the whole casual sex thing? I'm only 23 so I haven't gotten to experience the "ho phase" yet. Is it as fun/good as people say or is it still a lot of no orgasms and being pounded away at?

-How exactly is sex fun? I see people say this but I haven't felt "fun" out of it yet. I've searched and no one has an explanation for why people describe it that way.

No. 116974

How can I be less nervous for my first time? I have anxiety and I absolutely dread awkwardness.

No. 116975

Your first time will be kinda awkward, it is for every body. It's just part of it, don't stress too much. Do you have a boyfriend you plan on having sex with? Be very communicative before and during. Make sure to warm up with lots of kissing and stuff to get more comfortable with him and in the mood, this can lessen the anxiety.

No. 116977

Yeah, thanks anon. Do we need to use a condom during oral sex too? I don't know if people typically do that or if its okay for him to receive without it.

No. 116980

Nta but some STDs can be passed through oral sex. Idk how common it is to use a condom for oral sex though, but that doesn't really matter.

I would say most couples prefer to get checked instead of using condoms for oral, but if you don't know if he has an std and want to use condoms for everything, by all means do it. Don't feel pressured to do things you don't want to just because you think that's the norm. There are no rules for sex other than being safe and comfortable.

No. 116998

>Is it normal for your labia to be dry during sex? Should the natural lubricant that the vagina makes be going to that part? Whenever he goes to insert his penis it hurts and I end up with a friction burn (even if I come from oral before and/or use lube). He pretty much has to force his penis into my vagina because my lips are so dry. I've even tried moisturizing them with coconut oil in the shower
if you're not sufficiently aroused or have an imbalance (low E) that's pretty "normal". Some women also don't make as much natural lubricant. I'm naturally very "wet" but I still can get sore/burns around the entrance if the sex is aggressive enough anyway. I also am not always super wet all around the vulva because the discharge doesn't always spread that far around it depending on how I'm positioned. Have you spoken to a gyno? There are ways to help with this if you're abnormally dry and uncomfortable.
>How do I not feel awkward when we are having sex in positions where I am dominate (like riding)? He is very much attracted to me and very eager for sex, but I feel like he is doing me a favor by sleeping with me and I feel like I am violating him somehow whenever I grind against him.
>How do people just turn their minds off during so that they only focus on the pleasure? My mind goes a mile a minute telling me to just enjoy it/focus and not to do certain things and I end up never being "in the moment"
imho, these are both a matter of confidence and relaxing. You sound insecure and like you have performance anxiety. I don't really know what to tell you to do because "just relax" isn't really helpful advice, but just letting go and enjoying it or letting your "horny brain" take over is how I think most people do it. Remember, he loves your body, you're giving him a great time that you should both enjoy, not being given a favor.
>Am I really missing out on the whole casual sex thing? I'm only 23 so I haven't gotten to experience the "ho phase" yet. Is it as fun/good as people say or is it still a lot of no orgasms and being pounded away at?
I'm not fully qualified to tell you on this, but I didn't do it and I'm the same age as you. I feel totally fine and satisfied. I did briefly date around a bit (mostly with "safe" people I didn't or couldn't get physical with) but didn't sleep around. My monogamous sex life is amazing because my partner knows how to please me, I don't have to teach new people how to do it every time I sleep with someone. Some people really enjoy it, but from everything I've seen it gets old after a while and most of the people I know who are sleeping around still want "more" e.g. a relationship. I think a lot of people say it's fun as a cope and that a lot of people aren't actually that satisfied, but there are types of people who do love it.
-How exactly is sex fun? I see people say this but I haven't felt "fun" out of it yet. I've searched and no one has an explanation for why people describe it that way.
People love orgasms and being wanted and wanting sexually. With a good partner, it's just a great feeling. You have tons of excitement and physically it feels good, that's what makes good sex fun. With "slow" sex that isn't as "exciting," it's fun because it feels good and you're getting to fulfill sexual desires with someone who you find attractive.
Not to be rude, but do you think you may be asexual or not into who you're with? Your questions give me that vibe. I didn't reply to one of them because I feel like I can't really add anything, hopefully someone takes that one.

No. 116999

>This, I wonder if it's dick sperg scatfag.
Dick-sperg-anon here, I haven't posted here in months. And I am most certainly not a "scatfag", what the fuck? You're conflating different anons.
>By the sounds of that post he must have done this and gotten laid though. Congrats, I guess?
No, I am not going to bother attemping a relationship until Foregen fixes my dick; if that doesn't go well then I'll kill myself. I have a 5.5", thin, cut dick, I cannot have a relationship, I cannot have sex. No woman would ever want to be with a man that has a penis as inadequate as mine, it is a complete impossibility and I will not be foolish enough to attempt it.

You can go on about all the same tired bullshit, "just eat her out", "not all girls are obsessed with PIV", etc.- I'm more than willing to provide oral and do whatever else to help the girl enjoy sex, but I don't believe that anything can make up for not having a nice dick to provide fulfilling PIV with. THAT is sex, THAT is what a relationship is about. You cannot make up for lacking that, it is an absolute prerequisite for the sexual and emotional satisfaction and long-term attraction for any woman.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 117001

Dude you are delusional, that's why women don't want you. The obsession with your dick not being good enough is a total turn off, not your dick. You're probably going to destroy it or feeling in it trying to "fix" it and evidently many men who are under 7", thin-dicked, and cut are getting laid. You're not because your obsession is weird and annoying.
What is even the point in replying here? This is /g/ and you aren't appreciated or wanted here.

No. 117008

Seconded. Dickguy needs to get a hobby or something, why are men so obsessed with their genitals?
Bet he ends up with a 8" arm flesh tube that needs pumped up manually. I'm sure all the ladies in his life will be fawning over it.

No. 117013

>-Is it normal for your labia to be dry during sex? Should the natural lubricant that the vagina makes be going to that part?
I thought that was normal? I get extremely wet but it gets trapped near the entrance inside the labia. You might have to pull it apart slightly and spread it around with your fingers.

No. 117030

my bf has trouble busting when he's drunk too, pretty sure it's perfectly normal. even i as a woman get less sensitive and wet after drinking.

No. 117031

>I have a 5.5", thin, cut dick
Isn't that literally the exact average for an American man?

No. 117046

Same here.

No. 117720

This is kinda sex and kinda masturbation related. I'm fully off Lexapro as of two weeks ago. As I was tapering up, my sex drive started going up. Now, I'm closer to the almost insatiable drive I had before getting on meds a few years ago, which is nice. I'm orgasming several times in a row. However, they seem less intense than when I was on meds? I'm not sure if I'm holding myself off too much when I get off, or if it's something else. I couldn't get off this many times in a row almost ever on meds, though.
I'm seeing my boyfriend for the first time since tapering off meds in a couple of days and I'm wondering how the sex will go. I couldn't vaginally orgasm before but could have fantastic sensations, I'm wondering now if it'll be possible or not. I know it's uncommon so I'm hoping but also not getting my hopes up. At the least I'm hoping I'll feel it more. Anyone know anything about my situation or gone through similar effects?

No. 117970

So I only began having sex this year- and I have only had sex with two people. (NOT AT THE SAME TIME)

I don't know what I'm doing and the two people I've had sex with seems to enjoy teaching me.

However, both of them had asked me if I am okay (usually after a couple rounds - both very high sex drives)

THEN told me multiple times that I "Feel Good"

What does it mean when a guy says that?
That I'm tight?
How do I know I'm tight?

No. 118009

It means you feel good around his penis.

As for being tight that's not really the point of vaginas. What most people mean when they say 'tight' is an aroused vagina (vaginal tissue engorged with blood and relaxed enough to be both soft/squishy and not painful) and good control over the kegel muscles. The mix of those two things give a cushy tight feeling while being pleasurable to both the guy and woman.

Real/too tightness, is more of a condition that prevents the vagina from relaxing and/or lack of arousal and isn't really anything anyone would want.

Pretty much every young woman (who hasn't had vaginal trauma) can be 'tight' with arousal and a bit of exercise. Having an impossibly tight vagina is just something pandered by porn, if you both are enjoying the sex then don't worry about the dimensions of your bits.

No. 118012

i really wish i knew how an orgasm feels
i even asked my mom and she never had one before
my boyfriend is SUPER understanding, and i'm an absolute slut for vaginal/oral and nipple stimulation, i just have a feeling its impossible for me to cum. nobody is pressuring me, not even myself, since im enjoying myself. but im kinda jealous, orgasms sound awesome
i'm 21 btw

No. 118019

orgasming and cumming are different. you sound really dumb for 21 too.

No. 118027

i never experienced either, didnt know there's a distinction.
and thanks

No. 118028

What's the difference?

No. 118029

This person is just being pedantic. Cumming usually refers to male ejaculation since women don't.

21 year old with the lazy boyfriend, try watching some porns and seeing what you like

No. 118030

Cumming is just weird spelling of coming which is used to signify arriving at an orgasm. Cum is also interchangeable with semen because it's what comes out of the penis during male orgasms. I can't tell if the other anon was making the distinction between male and female orgasm or projecting dumbness.

No. 118031

Really splitting hairs here. Do you hear women in porn saying "I'm orgasming, I'm orgasming!!"?

No. 118042

Anons, it's really dumb, but how do you tell actual difference between wanting to visit a bathroom and squirting? Sometimes I tend to know that im about to squirt but i still panic and run to my bathroom. Can anyone help with that? Sorry about dumb question!

No. 118045

i miss having a sex drive so bad. i had a hugeee sex drive as a teen but now nothing turns me on. i don't watch porn, never have and don't want to, but i doubt that would even work. i went to the doctors to see if it was a deficiency in something or hormonal balance was wack but after 20 different tests they concluded i was healthy as possible. im going to a psychologist now to try fix my depression once and for all but if this doesnt bring back my sex drive idk waht to do. is there anything obvious I'm doing wrong?? im not pregnant, not deficient in anything, dont smoke, dont drink, healthy diet, healthy body…? anyone else had a low sex drive but fixed it?

No. 118050

Squirting is pissing.

Women don't ejaculate.

I wonder if these new extremely dumb posts ITT are written by a teen male larping

No. 118053

Do you have a boyfriend? sex drive is somewhat conditional on actually being attracted to people irl or at least having a viable crush. If you're not attracted to anyone it stands to reason you have no inclination to bang.

No. 118055

I bought a cute bodysuit that I feel great in and I can't wait to show my bf!! My only question is, how should I take it off when the time comes? Unpeel like a snake (lol) or unsnap at the crotch and pull it over my head? Both seem a little awkward but that's the nature of a bodysuit I guess

No. 118058

squirting is not exactly pissing lol. it’s similar but I wouldn’t call it the same. squirting =/= orgasm though.

No. 118060

You could unsnap it and fuck in the bodysuit?

If you've tried masturbating already, maybe try the Womanizer. If it doesn't bring you to orgasm, you can get a refund. The Satisfyer is cheaper, but has no such guarantee.

No. 118078

Its pee

No. 118127

its not pee
its squirt

No. 118141

t. larping male
it's piss that gets forced out, i can squirt without doing anything lewd

No. 118150

not the person you’re replying to but it’s not exactly pee. I always pee before sex cuz it’s uncomfortable if I don’t and I can still squirt lol it doesn’t smell or look like pee

No. 118152

cause it's forced out of the bladder without it being full yet, so it doesn't really have the time to turn /as/ sour as pee normally is. it's more clear imo and has a more neutral smell, but it's still from the exact same organ pee comes from, and passes through the same ducts
for the same reason, holding your pee in for too long can have the urine crystallise and you can have huge inflammations there

No. 118163

lol this is the most retarded thing i've ever read.

No. 118177

men be like…

sorry ur fetish is diluted piss bruh. get over it and learn how a womans body werks

No. 118182

Why can't squirt fetishists just accept the piss? There are worse things to be into. So what if girls pissing gets you going?
Be proud, piss-kun.

No. 118187

no you retard i meant about the pee crystallizing and stuff. pee doesn't get dirtier overtime lmao.

No. 118190

nta but no one used the phrase "dirty", that's just your insecurity over being into girls peeing/having weak pelvic floor muscles peeking thru, and yes, you could say pee does get more concentrated the longer you hold it in due to urine's continuous secretion.

No. 118191

that's not how it works. and i'm not a guy, i think squirt fetish is gross but piss doesn't become more concentrated lmao. if your diet is shit your squirt pee will be just as nasty as when you piss normally. you sound like you have some weird pee fetish with your "neutral" smell bs.

No. 118192

the sodium that gets expelled from your bladder actually can crystallize, but it makes up for less than 1% of urine. also there is tons of bacteria in using, holding its in too long can cause UTIs
holding in pee for longer than you're supposed to can even make you urinate blood. literally google it

in theory, the faster it gets out, the clearer and less smelly it is. still pee though

No. 118195

are you fucking 5? that's literally not how that works.

No. 118196

please look up bladder stones

No. 118197

guy here what the fuck is this whole board ironic?

nobody likes that unless you are a degenerate, and maybe only americans like spit because their dicks are chopped off and they need lube. Spit is fucking annoying and decreases what we feel(Read the rules boy)

No. 118201

jfc you absolute moron. bladder stones aren't caused by leaving too much pee in your bladder.

you keep saying shit like "in theory" when we have plenty of documentation on how the female bladder works. pee goes into the bladder already processed, the purity of it has nothing to do with it sitting in the bladder for too long, it has to do with diet, if i don't eat all day and drink nothing but water, i can wait 4+ hours to pee and it will be really different than someone who eats ramen instead.

No. 118202

>never gotten a blowjob
>likes bumpy dry ones
but ur definitely the first one

No. 118218

you're fucking retarded. urine is practically sterile unless you have a UTI or infection.

and no, holding in pee doesn't make you piss blood, it weakens the muscles. That's why it's not a good idea to hold it in. What makes pee less smelly and clearer is staying hydrated.

No. 118220

File: 1562218496584.jpeg (392.01 KB, 750x1062, ADC5C320-AB01-49E9-89C7-066699…)

really hope you're pretending to be retarded
pee isn't sterile, that's mom science
and you can give yourself an UTI if you don't empty your bladder enough, and if left untreated you can very well pee blood

this is my last post on this, pee fetishists

No. 118247

How do you tell someone that they are too fat for certain things? My boyfriend pressures me to be on top every time we have sex and I always have to decline while we are in the act and it's ruining things. I don't mind being on top, but with him he's simply too fat/wide to properly be on top. (Inb4 everyone asks me why I'm with a fat guy. He's handsome and he loves me.) Anyway, I try to tell him gently that it's just too difficult, even with pillows I can't get my knees to touch properly and I can't get any leverage to lift myself. Sometimes I go like froggy style on top but it's a total turn off to me because I feel ugly. Even after I tell him that he's a bit hard to straddle he still asks me to do it. I can't; it hurts my hips too much. I don't know what to tell him without bluntly saying that he's too fucking fat to get on top, which I have said in gentle ways already. Does anyone have any experience with this? Please help.

No. 118252

>I always have to decline while we are in the act and it's ruining things

Well, have you talked to him about this while not in the act?
But either way: Be honest with him. Maybe don’t tell him he’s too fat for it so bluntly but more like ‘your body is too wide it just doesn’t work and is painful/uncomfortable for me’ and tell him that him requesting it during sex makes you uncomfortable as well.
Like, I don’t think anyone on here can give you any advice besides talking to him about it and telling him the truth?

No. 118356

I feel you. I have issues with my hips and while my boyfriend is a healthy weight, he’s too wide for me too lol. One position I use to be ‘on top’ is like reverse cowgirl but instead of straddling him, my legs are between his so I’m sort of sitting in his lap riding him? But regardless you need to explain that it’s just not gonna happen for you, it’s uncomfortable/painful, it’s not a lack of desire just a physical issue.

No. 118425

Just say that it's not a good position for you and try something else where you are the one thrusting. If he has an issue with that you can be more blunt, but I think what he's mostly asking for isa minute to catch his breath.

No. 118461

25 year old virgin here - messed around a bit before (oral is the furthest I've gone) and feel confident in getting naked, but I'm self-conscious of still not having penetrative sex. This new guy has been flirting heavily with me recently so I'm thinking of going for it, but I know he has a lot of sex experience. My question is should I tell him? Or just go out, have a few drinks for dutch courage, invite him over and finally have sex? Can guys generally even tell if you've not had sex before?

No. 118466

Honestly it might be better to say you're a virgin. There's nothing wrong with it.

No. 118473

Well, I had a guy say "More teeth, please", so anything is possible.

No. 118477


No. 118483

does anyone else here come quickly? apparently studies say it usually takes 15-20 minutes for a woman. I can do it inn like 45 seconds when I masturbate

No. 118486

Yeah, I orgasm super quickly especially during sex. Same time as you about.

No. 118488


Takes me 5-8 minutes. Idk if it’s faster than normal

No. 118569

no lie, i've managed to come under a minute as well while masturbating. it's actually odd, because people always say how vibrators will desensitize your clit if you use them often, i think i've used them for way too long yet here i am.

No. 118570

me again, had to add that i can come with just manual non-toy labour in such a way too.

No. 118693

Jesus I’m jealous. I’ve had an orgasm during sex once and it took like 50 minutes and wasn’t even that great because of how exhausted I was.

When I masturbate, however, I can come within 1-2 minutes too. Only ever from clitoral stimulation though.

No. 119314

So I'm no stranger to masturbation but I only ever get off through clitoral stimulation. I've found that when I get myself really wet I can stick one finger (very gently/slowly) up my vagina, but definitely no more than that. I realize that this could pose a problem when I have sex because I don't want my first time to hurt like a bitch. I had a bad experience a few years ago where a guy fingered me while I was basically dry and it hurt so bad and I don't want to experience the same thing again, so I'm thinking I should probably stretch myself out first. Are there any ways I can do this outside of dilators or using a dildo? (I wouldn't mind using these, but I'm just wondering if there are other cheaper methods)

I'm not going to lie, that one bad experience I had a few years ago kind of messed with me and made me realize just how painful sex could potentially be. I know that I'm overreacting, but I guess I've always just been sort of a sensitive person and even though I have a relatively normal-high sex drive I'm super paranoid about actually having sex because I feel like it's going to hurt and that I'm going to get too anxious in the moment and close up and it won't work out (this already happens to me in day-to-day interactions so I don't doubt it'd happen in an intimate context). I know the best solution to this would be to just do it with someone I really trust and feel comfortable around, but at this rate I'll probably die before that happens kek. Sorry, I guess this part isn't so much a question as it is a femcel rant.

No. 119324

i don't know how to phrase this, is it possible to be asexual while enjoying sex? i could easily go without, and for years i did. i'm 22 and recently lost my v card, my boyfriend measures 7 inches and is quite thick, i've learned how to give blowjobs on him and he loves having to teach me stuff, he has had only 2 past partners.
when i masturbate, i don't like the weird sensation clitoral stimulation gives me, i have to press down on it really hard to feel that kinda electrical snap all the way down to my knees, but it doesn't feel incredible or anything. i have no history of sexual abuse, nor mental.
i really love being close to my boyfriend, having him cum on me or in me but as i've never had an orgasm i just really love to watch to get him off.
i have spoken to my mother about this, she said she's never came either. my sister on the other hand did, but she's a half sibling that's half irani. i look so similar to my mom, i think i got it from her.
i do get wet from watching certain thing, for some reason hentai. i think im just fucked up sexually from being on newgrounds at the age below 10.
any anons have had the same issue then came? i'm trying the shower head today to see if it will work

No. 119330

Sometimes PIV is just not for some people. You don't have to force yourself or "train" yourself into liking it for someone else's sake. I used to think I had to but my bf saw how much it hurt me and he didn't enjoy it at all. He'd rather us both be in pleasure. So we do other things and it's just as intimate and it feels good for both of us. Not saying you have to go that way but there are other options than forcing yourself to like something

No. 119331

No, you're normal, you didn't "get" anything from your mother

No. 119336

i can do it in about a minute when masturbating too but it takes around 10-20 minutes during sex (i only come from oral though)

No. 119365

I spent quite a few years of my life believing that I was incapable of having an orgasm too, but it turns out I am and it was more a case of getting so worried about not coming and also being a highly anxious person that I couldn't realign my expectations of what an orgasm was at the same time as not being comfortable enough to let go to experience one. I never considered myself asexual because I still had a drive to experience sexual situations and satisfy my partner, as you do. I do believe asexuality exists, but I think one should at least check first if a society that has never really valued female sexuality hasn't fucked you up a bit first.

No. 119424

i am german and swedish and both my cultures celebrate female sexuality a lot, also i talk to my mom and sister openly about sex. i just wish it would feel nicer, clitoral stimulation feels kinda uncomfortable. i want to try anal to see if i can come from that, to all the ladies in here with lots of orgasms, i envy you

No. 119617

idk whether to put this into the relationship advice or sex advice thread so i'll just post it here.

am i selfish bitch? i can't help but feel guilty because i never touch my bf's cock at all, not even for a hand job. he doesn't like blow jobs but idk if he's lying because don't all men like that? our sex life is really weird because before each other we never had a romantic partner.. so its basically just us trying to discover stuff out but we do have some no-no rules like anal and hardcore BDSM. since im still kind of a virgin, im still very tight; I've never even used tampons before. all we do is a lot of cunnilingus, anilingus and fingering on me. we also bought sex toys to use on me, specifically a lot of different sized dildos so it can help loosen me up for his dick eventually. we never did penetration yet and im a bit scare for it and don't really want to do it. he seems fine with it but idk i feel like he might be lying again. i also feel extremely guilty after because he jerks himself off to get rid of the sexual tension after he does all of the above for me. to be entirely honest, watching him do that after has deeply turned me on and its another reason why i don't want him to penetrate me. i like refraining any sexual touch from him because it makes him get very hard just seeing me lie there and moan.

>tfw when unintentionally a femdom when all i wanted was to be a submissive pillow princess

No. 119619

Oof where do I begin…

>i never touch my bf's cock at all, not even for a hand job

Why don’t you? If you don’t do it because you only want to be on the receiving end but not put any effort in then yeah, that’s kinda selfish. If you don’t feel comfortable (yet) or something like that, then no, that’s reasonable and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.

>he doesn't like blow jobs but idk if he's lying because don't all men like that

This confuses me a little because:
>before each other we never had a romantic partner.. so its basically just us trying to discover stuff out
How would he know whether or not he likes it, when he never got a blowjob before? I’d see if he was put off by the idea and even though it’s really rare there are indeed guys that genuinely do not like blowjobs. Either because they don’t like the feeling or because they feel it’s degrading.
So I wouldn’t worry about it. Even if he only said it to make you feel better, he apparently doesn’t miss it too much because otherwise he’d probably ask for it or at least bring it up in some way.

>since im still kind of a virgin, im still very tight

That’s some sexist bullshit right there.
You either have a tight vagina or you don’t. It doesn’t get loose over time or with the amount of sex you’ve had. Instead it rather sounds like you’re still a bit insecure and/or don’t feel really comfortable with the thought of penetration and therefore can’t relax 100%. Which is fine. Just don’t buy into this ‘oh she’s a virgin so her pussy is still nice and tight’ bullshit.

Everything else:
If you don’t feel comfortable with penetrative sex, don’t do it. It is, in a way, selfish but it’s the acceptable/good kind of selfishness. Your boyfriend doesn’t have a right to have sex with you so if he needs to get off, he can jerk off and it’s fine. Don’t let anyone including yourself tell you otherwise. He obviously likes doing things to you, even if he can’t put his dick inside of you. So it’s not like he doesn’t get anything out of it.

If you like what he’s doing to you and you’re happy with it: Embrace it. Don’t feel pressured to go further than what you’re comfortable with. If it ever should become an issue, he can try to bring it up and you can talk about it. But as long as he seems to be fine with it, don’t worry so much. Some things take their time and that’s fine.

No. 119623

Everything the other anon said.
The "hand stuff" stage really is lovely, and it's fine to draw it out.
That said, let him know you like watching him jerk off. Ask him if you can touch him, too. It might be a good idea to ask him how he likes to be touched so you don't accidentally hurt him.

No. 119648

My sexual relationship with my bf is pretty much like this. I don't enjoy penetration at all (like you, I cannot even bring myself to use tampons and they are tiny). I was honest and told him at the beginning and he was completely fine with it. You both have to be completely honest with each other. Check in with him and make sure he is actually okay with everything. The talk might be a little awkward but you definitely need to communicate with each other. Also don't communicate while you're being intimate but set aside time to ask him all these things.

I think genuinely some guys enjoy getting their partner off more. Yesterday my bf spent over an hour kissing, caressing, teasing me, etc and he was hard the entire time. He looked into my eyes constantly, smiled a lot, etc. He didn't expect anything, he wasn't doing it so we'd fuck, he just wanted to please me. It was so nice. I was scared from intimacy for a while because I thought it would lead to something I didn't want to do (PIV). If your bf is also like that then enjoy it because that kind of guy is rare.

Funny because I am also into femdom but my bf is so sweet and gentle I'd prefer to do more vanilla things with him most of the time.

No. 119649

>Also don't communicate while you're being intimate but set aside time to ask him all these things.

Can't stress this enough.
Often times people bring up sex-related issues they want to talk about while they're doing the do and that's the worst possible thing you could do. You're both vulnearable af so you tend to be more defensive, in the heat you're more likely to become frustrated really easily, … it just never works out.

No. 119662

I love my husband and I'm attracted to him, but how the heck do I get myself in the mood for sex more often? I think a lot of it is a libido thing for me, but I'm sure depression plays some role too. For a while I thought I might be having self confidence issues, but that's something I've been working on for the last few months, but I don't know… Maybe it's a combo of everything? He's really tolerant and doesn't pressure me, but I want us to be having sex more than once every two to three weeks.

No. 119663

My relationship is similar. I'm fairly new to everything and I'm not really sure what I'm into because I don't have the experience yet. My bf really enjoys getting me off but I did start to feel bad about being on the receiving end but never giving (he's been vocal about the fact that it doesn't matter to him). Big difference for me is that I genuinely enjoyed giving him blowjobs and I would be more sexually aggressive but I'm too embarrassed to try anything first.

I considered myself asexual for years (never had sexual attraction to anyone before this) so this is all new for me.

No. 119670

Are you me? My boyfriend is exactly the same way. He can spend ages just focusing on caressing and stroking me and has admitted that he gets such an intense rush mentally from getting me off that he even fantasizes about ways to do it when we're apart. (I travel for work).

It all started with me admitting that I hate penetration of any sort, even blowjobs. I was so sure it would be a deal-breaker that I was suggesting we break up over it, which baffled him because he couldn't see how it was a big deal.

It's the safest I've ever felt in a relationship. The world needs more sweet, gentle bfs who genuinely enjoys and takes part in their partner's pleasure.

No. 119671

Definitely, it can end up hurting the other person even if you don't mean to. It's best to talk about things when both parties are calm and rational.

It is really so wonderful to feel understood in that way. I put off having a relationship for such a long time because I thought every guy would expect constant PIV, anal, deepthroat, slutty lingerie, etc. I am so lucky to have found my bf who doesn't want any of that. All the stuff that everyone considers "foreplay" we both love the most. He constantly tells me that he loves the expressions I make and how I hug him tightly when I'm feeling good. He is so sweet I can't handle it.

For the longest time I thought I wasn't attracted to men, but I legit get wet just hugging him. I love him so much.

No. 119672

i think our sexual relationship developed like that because when we initially started dating we'd always joke about what we'd do in bed like a couple of virgins. and the theme of me being a pillow princess really really turned us both on. he loves to please me whatever the cost – he even does some fucked up fetishes i want to try. im always his first priority and if something is uncomfortable he immediately stops. that's why i really want to return the favour and am thinking of giving him a hj and hopefully some penetrative sex… someday when im comfortable. ik he'll be very accommodating i just have to get over my anxiety of having a large foreign object attached to another human up inside my body. also he doesn't like bj's because when we first discussed what we'd do in bed, the issue of my freakishly small mouth and giant teeth deterred us from ever attempting it. he also thinks its degrading and too connected to porn which he absolutely despises (he watched it once and got traumatized kek). oh sorry about the sexist bullshit i didn't know that. thank you for informing. i guess i just have a genetically small vagina. when he first fingered me it hurt like a bitch; when i first fingered myself i could only do one fingertip – not even the whole finger .

woah we gotta make a boyfriend appreciation thread. it's very heartening people have loving boyfriends that aren't into pornographic-influenced sex. i fell for mine because of his eager-to-please selflessness. >>119648 to this anon, my bf is super vanilla too but i always drag him into non-vanilla realms 'cause i like to explore new things with him. none of it has turned him on. he just has to be with me and he's happy as it is. are you ever going to try penetration? i think i will one day down the road. he's not pressuring me or anything i just want him to be happy too and not sadly jerking himself off after we do things every time. plus it'll add some more fun stuff to try

No. 119767

If I think I look good it's easier for me. Pamper yourself a little and maybe get some cute panties if you don't want to spend money on lingerie. Worst that can happen is you're not that horny but you have super soft skin now, lol.

No. 119797

My new boyfriend is a virgin and I'm not really certain how to advance with him and I'm also kinda scared? We almost had sex yesterday but I got totally shitfaced and now I'm quite angry at myself since I promised him to have a nice first time. Anybody ever been in similar situation? I have no idea how to "teach" him or advice him what to do etc.

No. 119801

My current boyfriend also was a virgin and I was stressing out so much about it that I almost didn't go out with him.

My advice : don't stress about it. If the first time is awkward, who cares? The other times will be good!

I don't know about yours but my bf knew how to touch me and such. If he doesn't, start with touching each other to climax, and for first PIV I'd recommend a lot of lube.

It's okay if it's not perfect, it'll come! Just communicate and take it slowly if you need to.

No. 119820

>woah we gotta make a boyfriend appreciation thread. it's very heartening people have loving boyfriends that aren't into pornographic-influenced sex.
I agree, I like reading about men who are decent people. The pink pill threads hurt my heart and I feel awful for all the things a lot of women put up with.

>are you ever going to try penetration?

I like the idea of it, because I think it would be extremely intimate. But it would be way too painful and uncomfortable for me. I'm a virgin who doesn't even enjoy fingering and my boyfriend is almost over 8 inches, and also very thick. He would kill me if we had sex, and he realizes that too. However we both love intercrural and do it very often. If you don't do it already I definitely recommend it. It's extremely nice for clitoral stimulation and you could press your thighs together to create some nice friction for him. It's very intimate and I love it.

No. 119824

I'm curious, are you able come from the intercrural sex?

No. 119857

Thank you, anon. Maybe I'm just nervous since I've been single for almost four years. He's quite good with touching and such, but still a little bit clumsy, but it takes time, I guess.

No. 119859

Yes, but for me it needs to be at the right angle. The first several times we couldn't orgasm from it but it felt amazing none the less. You need to experiment a little bit with it just like anything else. Chances are though if you've ever masturbated by rubbing up against/humping things you'd probably like it.

No. 119925

Ok I'm wondering a few things;
Is it difficult to suck dick with a strong overbite? And should I force myself to do things for a guy even if it makes me uncomfortable/if it's unpleasant for me?

Also, recently my new bf fingered me and over 24 hours later when I got up and peed afterwards a bit of pink-ish blood appeared on the toilet paper and I saw some dark brown shit leaking out of me as well.. it hurt when he fingered me (I'm a tight virgin I guess idk), could that be the reason why? I find it very odd that it only happened over 24 hours later and also that I had both pinkish blood AND dark brown watery stuff coming out of me..

No. 119926

Okay update; this post made me go to the bathroom to check if there was any blood again and there was a lot so apparently I got my period but it's over a week too early, I'm supposed to get my period around the 2nd..

No. 119927

>And should I force myself to do things for a guy even if it makes me uncomfortable/if it's unpleasant for me?
Depends on what it is. I'd say no, unless it's reasonable and you are in a long-term relationship. For example I don't like giving oral and I'm sure as hell not going to do it for some guy I just started dating. My bf who I've been together for several months and is fine with or without me doing it, and will appreciate it, is a different story. You are not going to go out of your way to do something you dislike for a guy who you don't know gives a shit about you yet.

I've read so many horror stories of girls here being pressured into things they didn't want like deepthroat, BDSM, anal. Then they regret it because they were pressured into something they hated and their guy won't even touch them or go down on them. Don't do it.

No. 119928

I'm uncomfortable with basic things already so honestly if it was up to me I'd practically do nothing lmao I know that makes me sound horrible but I don't deal well with negative feelings in general, I can't just suck it up when something makes me feel bad

No. 119929

File: 1563908997130.jpg (45.19 KB, 1080x1080, 1527036784617.jpg)

I have a rather unusual problem. So, my bf has sexual anhedonia. I takes him an hour to finish when he is masturbating, and around 20-30 mins during intercourse. Unfortunately, I orgasm really quickly, and it feels kind of rough/weird because he just doesn't stop after I cum. Will it be rude to ask him to pull out, so I could finish him off with my hand/mouth? It doesn't feel any different to him since he can't feel pleasure, but he seems to be fixated on always finishing inside. It feels "wrong" to take away the only thing he gets out of sex (besides emotional fulfillment).

No. 119930

I don’t really enjoy penetration post orgasm either lol. I usually just try to take as long as I can to orgasm and maybe hold out for my boyfriend to finish, but if I can’t, we do other stuff until he finishes or until I’m okay with penetration again. Sometimes my mood disappears though so he just jerks himself off. I think your bf is just gonna have to start being okay with not finishing in you every time lol

No. 119933

You could start out with a long period of foreplay where his dick is being stimulated and then move onto penetrative sex so hopefully you can both orgasm around the same time? Also tell him to go to see a doctor since that aint normal and he probably has severe depression or low T or something.

No. 119935

Wow anon, that's the simplest and the best answer, but I have never thought about it lol. Thank you!
And unfortunately his condition is not caused by depression or hormones, it's because of injury he suffered as a child. I don't want to go into graphic details, but we have been to many doctors, and they all claimed it's not possible to treat.

No. 119936

So you don't like intimacy in general? Or the normal things that you feel like you're "supposed" to do?

No. 119937

The second.. The way I feel around dicks is like the way a lot of people feel around insects lol.. that gross weird "cringy" feeling

No. 119938

Maybe you haven't found the right person yet. I think a lot of guys tend to put all the focus on their dick and act extremely predatory/selfish even without meaning to. If you aren't brainwashed by societal expectations and porn it's gross and a huge turn-off. They're like leeches.

No. 119954

File: 1563943601868.jpg (40.26 KB, 508x472, 36D217FA6CE84C40B26ECD4CF13098…)

I am at my wits end here. This situation is honestly making me feel depressed.

I'm 21 and lost my virginity earlier this year to a man that I really love and could see myself marrying. He is very very sweet and considerate and tries his best to make sex pleasurable for me (oral, fingering, positions that are supposed to hit my g spot).

I had a bout of vaginismus (sex was very painful since losing my virginity) and have only actually been able to have painless sex for the past 3 months. He stood by me and helped me get through it and I love him so much for being my rock.

But sex feels like NOTHING. I don't know whats wrong with me. I think hes really cute and he has a good sized dick. It doesn't matter what we do, and we've tried plenty of things together. My body reacts by getting wet and accomodates his penis but I don't feel any pleasure (or pain). Penetration just feels like skin on skin. My clit is pretty much useless during sex. I recently got a vibe to use during sex and it feels a little good but its nothing special.

Everyone talks about sex like its magical. My boyfriend feels so much pleasure and I can't feel a damn thing and it makes me really jealous tbh. I'm not on birth control or antidepressants either. If i masturbate solo (usually to rough stuff which is my fav) I can literally orgasm in under a minute. I very rarely masturbate though. When I try to rub myself the same way during sex, nothing. I've even tried replicating rough sex but it didnt help. Does anyone have any advice? If I never had sex again for the rest of my life I wouldn't even give a shit.

No. 119961

He doesn't do anything wrong tho I'm just kinda repulsed by the way dicks are lol

No. 119964

could you be gay?

No. 119966

Definitely not.

No. 119967

You masturbate(d) too much.

No. 119968

I said I rarely masturbate in my post. like once or twice a month if even.

No. 119969


What's going on for you mentally when you orgasm? What do you think about when watching porn that gets you there? Is there any kind of narrative in your head that feels sexy or interesting to you? Can you masturbate without porn or any other visual stimulus and get yourself off that way? What people find erotic is mostly a head game that you play with yourself (pun intended) and you haven't said much about anything other than physical sensations, but the two are interconnected. Don't lose hope, anon. I masturbate maybe 3-4 times a year so what's normal for everybody differs a lot.

No. 119971

I'm mostly into cnc when I watch/read porn. I can also use my imagination to get off alone. I try using my imagination during sex but it doesnt help. I don't really have any interest in trying it irl though, it's only hot to me in porn and doesnt turn me on irl.

Im still engaging and being enthusiastic about sex because i like seeing him happy and i try to keep trying different things each time. I hope I'll have SOME feeling over time. I really really want to enjoy sex. I dont even care about orgasming, i just want to feel something. But how can i even desire sex when I've never had a pleasurable experience?

No. 119976

Just to add, its like i can't get into real life sex for some reason. If i imagine sex with my partner i get riled up, i can feel the blood flow to my clit (pulsing) and i desire sex. But when it actually happens i dont get that feeling.

No. 119996

If you are repulsed by dicks you are probably gay, or have some sort of trauma or insecurity. Same for men repulsed by vaginas. It's not normal to be grossed out by the opposite gender's genitals if you are attracted to the person and gender in question. You are either not attracted to him, or not attracted to guys in general.

Perhaps you just don't like PIV that much? PIV tends to suck for a lot of women, pleasure-wise. Majority of nerves are in the clit and the outside of the vagina. A vaginal orgasm is a mix of internal stimulation, as well as external stimulation from the clit being a certain distance from the vagina. If the stars don't align the chances of getting a reasonable about of pleasure from PIV are very low. Probably you would get off more from being rubbed without penetration, if you are not one of the lucky few it's a meme.

No. 119997

I have seen plenty dicks and never been attracted to one. Vaginas are gross to me as well. And I'm a virgin so it can't be trauma either. I am attracted to guys, just not to that part..

No. 119998

why the fuck can't i cum? should i just buy a hitachi? also, are there any other farmers with an embedded/small clitoris?

both of my partners are really receptive and check in with me a lot during sexual acts, to make sure it feels great for me too. and it does, usually. it takes forever to find my clit because the hood is thick and doesn't retract no matter how aroused i am. to make matters worse, my clit is super super tiny. one of my partners can find it and it feels incredibly overwhelming because i've never found it myself and i rarely masturbate (it just doesn't feel good imo)
problem is, whenever i think i may be close to cumming i get really fucking scared and kind of uncomfortable, like i need to pee or something even if i don't actually need to pee at all. it's really frustrating. both my partners literally are having a race to see who can get me to orgasm the first time but i'm just that difficult i guess. they both are great at giving head and fingering/massaging me but i just can't fucking cum. i like receiving head too but unfortunately it doesn't do much for me and i prefer penetration because i guess it indirectly stimulates my fucking microscopic clitoris somehow. they'll go for hours and i'll just need them to stop because i start to feel worn out and bored. we even do a lot of kinky stuff that i get off to but i just can't seem to finish.

No. 120012

Wow this sounds like me, or at least partially. I also get that feeling like I have to pee and then I stop. I tried to let it go on longer a few times but the whole peeing feeling gets too uncomfortable..

No. 120014

i don't have this problem, but i just wanted to let you know that feeling like you have to pee before orgasm is totally normal. when you hold your pee, that actually uses/exercises your kegels (which surround the inner workings of your vagina). this sensation is part of the reason why it's been contested that "female ejaculate" is actually urine, because some women actually do pee a bit when they come because of the sudden relaxation of said muscles.
that being said - i've never peed on anyone or myself and i've been orgasming/masturbing since i was a preteen. my orgasms are quite subtle though and i would almost compare them to the way you feel after you sneeze.

No. 120015

I've tried just him giving me oral/fingering/rubbing my clit and nothing works. I think I'm just fucked. literally considering ending it because this makes me so distressed

No. 120022

I have the exact same type of clit but I taught myself to cum. It took a lot A LOT of testing. Guys can still not get me off ever. Unrealistic.

No. 120035

I hate when men go for rubbing the urethra instead of the clit or at least the hole, even gently stroking my labia feels a lot better than urethra rubbing

No. 120036

do you mind sharing what worked for you? i'm open to trying a lot of different things especially with partners. they will eat me out, fuck me, and finger me for fucking hours and nothing works. it can feel good but it isn't something that makes me feel like i'm going to cum and they start to feel bad for me lol

No. 120062

This definitely happens to me a lot. Not all the time, but much more often than I'd like. Unless I'm out of my mind horny I sometimes sort of feel nothing during sex and it's weird.

Even weirder, the way I've been getting over it is by really vividly picturing in my head the view of him fucking me if I can't see it. Like really numbing everything else and picturing his dick pounding into me. idk if I don't consciously do that sometimes I just snap out of being horny. It's strange but it works for me at least.

No. 120102

First off - You Have To Masturbate.
Even if it doesn't feel good at first you have to figure it out on your own first.

Do you have a high water pressure at home and a detachable shower hose? I find it's a great way to learn (although it won't help in the bedroom. Honestly me and my SO just let me get myself off with my fingers while he is static inside me) In the shower you can control water pressure which is key cause you might feel like it's overwhelmingly sensitive if you aren't used to masturbating OR vice versa it feels numb. Personally for me it's a combination. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a normal exposed clit.

Note, have lots of time on your hands and be alone and experiment. Rushing isn't sexy.

Buying a vibrator might be fun to do with your partner but personally i've never tried it.

More important to teach yourself before you expect orgasms in the bedroom tbh.

sorry rambling mess of a drunk reply

No. 120160

Anons who have had vaginal orgasms, can you share some info on your experience? I've never had one and I know it's not common to be able to attain one, but I think if I'm aroused and screwed at the right angle that I'm possibly capable. When I had my first clitoral orgasm it was after several times where I couldn't climax because it was too intense, so I feel like it may be a similar thing. Did it take you several times before you had your first? I sometimes get one orgasm after another with enough stimulation and it's intense after I've had a clitoral orgasm, so I think maybe with enough internal stimulation I could then have a vaginal orgasm.

No. 120247

I've only ever had them after a clitoral orgasm. either with him on top and my legs all the way back over my head (I'm flexible) or this one guy who was amazing at fingering me, I think it was just two fingers in a 'come here' motion but he somehow got me every time

No. 120248

I've never relied on a guy to get me off vaginally without me basically guiding the entire thing or setting the rhythm. If you can make yourself cum you can use a dick to make yourself cum as long as your comfortable with being selfish, I imagine it's how most men approach sex,doing what they like. Most times I let my bf cum first by pretending to be into how he's riding me then when he's came I sit on his dick how I like it. There's probably only been a few times we've mutually gotten off riding each other and he's usually drenched in sweat afterwards for keeping up rhythm lol

No. 120280

Hey farmers! So I want some advice today earlier I tried to have sex with my boyfriend (we're both virgins) and it just wouldn't go in. Like I noticed my vagina being kinda small since when masturbating I can barely fit two fingers in even if I am really excited. What should I do?

No. 120286

had this problem the first time i was with my bf too. were you nervous? we had to try a couple of times because even though i was aroused, i was just to tense for him to get it in correctly. missionary was the easiest way for us to eventually get it in, but it took some wriggling lol

No. 120289

Were you using lube? You should, it makes sex way comfier.

No. 120297

My bf and I had sex yesterday and the first time wasn't that enjoyable, which I expected, but the second time was really nice. Only problem was my bf came the minute I was really into it.

I wasn't expecting it because every time I've given him handjobs/blowjobs, he's never cum. At first, I seriously thought I was just bad at it but he's assured me he enjoys both and I can tell he's having a good time but he just doesn't cum.

I don't mind if the only thing that does it for him is penetration but I definitely wanted to keep things going.

Is that normal for most men? Can it change over time? Or should I just make due with foreplay?

I was a bit disappointed but I love him and he already was embarrassed by it so I didn't want to make things any more uncomfortable.  

No. 120298

For starters he should jerk off less.

No. 120299

Idk why but I'm enjoying sex with my bf less and less by the day, we used to have the most intense passionate sex and now I just feel bored.
I don't know how to go back to how it was, I've been crying over this a lot recently, I feel guilty and like I don't love him as much anymore.

No. 120303

Sometimes it just fades or your sexual chemistry ain't matching up anymore. It gets boring if you do it too much anyway. Find someone new mang

No. 120307

Try something new. You might just be bored with the same old same.

No. 120315

Would it be too horrible to tell my bf I don't want to touch or suck his dick because I'm uncomfortable by it? (I'm grossed out by dicks)

No. 120316

he'd probably be concerned by that yes. imagine him saying your vagina is disgusting. not only would it hurt to hear, he's probably going to guess you're gay the same as I am right now. unless you have some trauma around penises? straight women generally aren't turned off by the genitals they're attracted to

No. 120317

it would be hurtful to straight up say something like that. if i were you i would try to show him that i'm into him in ways that don't involve his dick, show attention to his other parts and stuff.

No. 120399

I didn't say anything about the way I would say it.. obiously I wouldn't flat out call it disgusting. I'm not gay and I don't have a trauma, I always felt uncomfortable about genitals.
But he asked me if I'm gonna do things to him as well, he wouldn't stop asking about it either, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to answer. The only solution I can think of is try getting really drunk and seeing if that will help me get over it and do something to him lol.. I doubt it will work tho

No. 120410

Grow up and talk to him about it. What >>119649 said applies here as well.

Sit down with him, tell him what’s your issue and that it’s a problem you have with genitalia in general. Set boundaries and stick to them until you have any desire to go further. Don’t let him pressure you into doing something you’re not 100% comfortable with. If you aren’t setting any real boundaries he’s more likely to ignore them or cross them involuntarily.

If this upsets him you’ll have to face the possibility that the two of you just don’t work out as couple. But if he keeps asking you even after you’ve told him off, please love yourself and dump him.

No. 120413

He's difficult to talk to, sometimes I try to but then he just acts stupid or weird or doesn't understand me, so forgive me for not acting like a grown up.. he never seems to listen when I tell him I don't want things either so I'm not sure it would help. And him being a pushy pervert also makes me wonder if our sexual stuff is even special to him or if it's all just some dirty animal thing to him idk.. he says he loves me and he plans things way ahead and even offered to set up some subscription for me that would last at least a year implying he believes we will stay together that long, but ugh he's such a pushy pervert

No. 120414

Why are you even dating him then?

No. 120415

Maybe he loves you and he doesn't realize what he's doing is fucked up but he still needs to cut that shit out. You need to tell him how uncomfortable it makes you and establish clear boundaries.

No. 120457

I think after a clitoral orgasm is most likely for me too, it just feels like sometimes I'm too sore on my vulva or the entrance to my vag, or end up out of the mood by accident? Latter is more when I have a very good orgasm and I'm just done. Maybe my bf is scratching me with stubble or I'm pushing his face in too hard, lmao. It feels like I get close but can't get over the edge, did you ever deal with that in particular? I get the same feeling with some clitoral stuff as well, I've never been able to deal with high-powered vibrators or intense showerheads for the same reason.
The problem for me is that I've never been able to come from penetration alone, it's always been with a dildo and rubbing myself. It seems to get closer or easier when it's with my bf despite the added complication of someone else trying to get off just because I'm more stimulated and aroused, lol. I don't have a ton of stamina but I've tried riding on top without a ton of luck. Maybe it's the angle? The other problem is I'm a retard when it comes to this so I've hurt my bf a few times and I suck at keeping the rhythm because of my low stamina. Are there similar positions that take less energy or do you know good exercise to do out of bed to get better at cowgirl?

No. 120459

Are there any other lesbians who don't like oral? I've tried it but I don't like giving or receiving, and it's not just a negative sexual experience that ruined it for me. It has been years since I've been in a relationship or had sex but now I'm ready to re-enter the dating scene. I'm worried girls will think I'm just straight and experimenting if I refuse but I love everything else about having sex with women. I have a high libido but am not physically sensitive and I'm just not into having genitals in my mouth, but every other lesbian I've talked to online or irl likes it.
I have a very small clitoris too, and it isn't very sensitive either. I can be soaking wet but have to use a Hitachi to get anywhere. I have only been able to cum from the Hitachi or a pool jet and never even expected my previous partner to be able to do it during sex. I place the vibrator head at an angle over my underwear so it covers both my vaginal opening and my clit covered by the hood. Squeezing a pillow between my thighs at the same time helps too.I don't even move the vibrator around, I just find the spot that feels good and squeeze down on the pillow around it until I cum within seconds.

No. 120464

If he's really into receiving oral sex and you don't want to do it, chances are he'll find someone who will. It sucks but if it's something you are unwilling to discuss with him and make sure it's okay then you should prepare yourself for his cheating or dumping you later.

No. 120481

Bisexual who doesn't like oral but I like giving! I'm even more scared people will think I'm straight cause I swing both ways but oral really feels like nothing.

Two girls and a few toys… I can get behind.

No. 120500

I asked him if he would leave me if I wouldn't want to have sex with him and he said no and that he would just keep trying.. I'm sure he could at least live without handjobs/blowjobs right? I mean aren't relationships supposed to be about a lot more than just that part? And I'd still let him do me. I do plan on trying to talk about it at some point but I don't think it will go very well because he can't have a decent conversation lol

No. 120507

>he said no
>and that he would just keep trying

Choose one, kek.
He can’t be happy enough not to leave you without it but simultaneously admit that he‘d continue trying to talk/push you into doing it. Obviously there‘s no harm in asking, technically, but he should be fine with giving you your time and let you come to him first.

>And I'd still let him do me.

No, please, love yourself. You don’t owe him.

And yes, relationships are supposed to be about more than sex. It can be a vital part of it for some people but nobody should make you feel bad about yourself because you don’t want to do this stuff right now or ever.

What >>120464 said at this point.

No. 120520

Then you'll be like that one girl who got coerced into anal, everyone told her not to and she came back crying that he wasn't even grateful
Stop trying to be the "cool girl", and rewarding bad men for bad behaviors. I hate talking about sex and intimacy that way but that's how they literally see it.

No. 120572

But to me it seems like handjobs/blowjobs are considered standard/mandatory. Am I really supposed to expect him to be okay with me not doing that stuff? Is it fair to expect him to be okay with it?

No. 120576

And why exactly should it be mandatory for you to cater to your partner‘s sexual needs but not the other way around? You do realize that’s some A+ sexist thinking you got there?
And what about girls that don’t want any sexual intercourse at all? Should those then only be dating guys with no libido or just let themselves be raped every now and then to be worthy of a relationship?

There are tons of guys out there and some of them will be fine with whatever works best for you, because eventually they want you to be happy and care about you more than their dick.

No. 120580

Believe me, there are some guys that would be fine with you not touching their dick at all. Honestly you shouldn't be guilty but you should get a little upset. You told him the things that made you uncomfortable and he basically said "nah I don't care about that, I'm going to coerce you into it anyway even if it takes a while." That's not how a loving partner would think or feel.
Love yourself and let the guy go.

No. 120593

nta, i think that you should date someone who wants the same things out of sex as you, not someone who will simply compromise. sex as a facet of a relationship is extremely important, not just because of the act itself, but because it's important to be on the same page. neither partner should be trapped in a relationship where they aren't sexually fulfilled (even if that means not having sex) and both partners should be able to be satisfied and actually talk about their needs together without just rolling over for one another.

No. 120594

thanks for making me feel better about myself and my views/feelings towards the whole thing. although I don't think I could bring myself to leave him, I'm happy hearing it's okay to be this way. I'm actually getting tears in my eyes atm lmao because I thought everyone here would just tell me to suck it up and do it because "everyone" does it..

No. 120597

Lol only men would be so entitled to force you to do oral sex on them. Think about how disgusting it is if you had to do it just because it was the standard and not because you actually want to.

No. 120600

File: 1564677238162.png (50.34 KB, 191x182, dgdgfdgdf.png)

How do I stop cringing during sex/foreplay?
I have to admit I'm somewhat a prude and haven't had much experience at all. Whenever anything sexual happens I immediately IMMEDIATELY start cringing. I think about my relationship with my ex or previous sexual encounters that I have regretted and it completely ruins my mood.
Any advice/similar situations?

No. 120636

Is anyone else incapable of casual sex without getting attached, even one night stands you met once? I'm not looking for a relationship but don't want to be 100% alone either, yet I get weirdly obsessed even if the sex wasn't great; as long as they're a fun/cute person, then my mind dwells on them, I start stalking social media, etc. The worst part is that some are fuckboys who lose interest after one or two times and then I get way too affected by the rejection. Ugh.

No. 120745


The chemicals your brain releases during/after sex are meant to bond you to the person so I guess they're doing their job there, can definitely relate. I always got it worse if I would lay in bed with the guy afterwards and chat, don't do that

No. 120857

How do I feel less pathetic when sexually rejected?
My bf has a lower sex drive than me, he tries to argue otherwise but it's the truth. He's great in bed but he almost never initiates, and most of the time he doesn't pick up on my hints or he's busy or not in the mood.
I prefer him to horndog guys that demand handies during sad films and it's good that he understands when I don't want it either but it's hard to unlearn years of socialization telling me men want sex all the time, and that if he doesn't then it means I'm undesirable.

No. 120877

I'm in the exact same position and all you can do is respect and love who he is as a person, like you said its amazing his masculinity isn't so tied to sex and seeing you as a sex object but it is hard to unlearn being seen as one.
If you genuinely enjoy being with him you just have to focus on the good stuff and try and think of things that would fulfil that area that is missing that he wants to do (like extra cuddling or other forms of intimacy).

No. 120878


If he argues that his sex drive isn't actually lower than yours could it be that he has a porn habit he keeps to himself? Something left over from when he was single

No. 120999

A lot of women have this problem. It's a myth that men have bigger libidos. It's just something you have to accept and try not to take personally.

No. 121037

File: 1565120070506.jpg (34.99 KB, 640x480, d83cd8e997bb85ce812b4a7468141b…)

I really really tried taking your advice because it sounded pretty reasonable but it hasn't worked at all. Honestly I think I'm just not meant for sex? That sucks really hard. I don't know if I'll ever enjoy it. Can't even remember one time I've gotten horny (without forcing myself to watch porn every so often).

I really really love my bf (mutually) and plan to have his babies so I guess I'll just keep having sex anyway. At least I never enjoyed it so I can't miss it lol.

No. 121056

This sucks anon. Maybe you should get your hormones tested? There's been a lot of speculation about phytoestrogens reducing testosterone in men, if there is any truth to that than women (who have less testosterone to begin with) might have unusually low levels as well.

No. 121057

Unfortunately I did get my hormones tested. My family doctor clearly thought I was crazy when I came to her about it but did all the tests I wanted anyways and referred me to a gyno. Tests were normal and the gyno pretty much told me, and i quote, "women have sex to cuddle, men cuddle to have sex" and then offered me an experimental "female viagra" that hardly works according to google. I ask for her to put me on Wellbutrin as a last ditch effort and it didn't help. I mean, I get that there's not much she could do given my normal hormones but she sounded so dismissive.

They were both female too. Doctors don't give a single fuck. If I was a guy with a limp dick they'd care.

No. 121062

>women have sex to cuddle, men cuddle to have sex
>a doctor saying this
We really do live in a society.

No. 121066

>if it was a guy they would care
YUP. Doctors fucking suck. I've found male doctors to be both more gentle with my body and more open to hearing what's wrong. Female gynos I've had have all been really rough and rude.

On the low libido thing, don't sweat it. Focus on being present in the moment and give it time. It took me literal years to get used to having my partner spectating while I tried to "Get off" after living as a total asexual for most of my life. It still sometimes takes me out of the moment and my horniness doesn't manifest, it just kinda turns into me fondling meat and doesn't feel like anything.

Either way if there's nothing wrong hormonally then it's in your head and the only way to fix what's in your head is to give yourself a safe space to loosen up.

No. 121068

Adding to what this anon said, I exclusively get off by touching myself while my boyfriend is inside me. Sex doesn't turn me on, never has. I just tell my boyfriend I'm thinking of him. And since I take a long time he usually isn't even moving when I do it haha. You will get used to it.

No. 121071

I'm honestly just terrified that I'm asexual. I don't want to be. I know im not a lesbian either because im not attracted to women. I love the idea of the male physique/dick but when im actually there it doesnt turn me on. I'm going to keep at it and hope things get better like you say but I'm scared. I know if my bf knew i felt literally nothing it would destroy him.

I just feel like… i should just feel something. Just anything when theres a dick inside me (other than pressure) or when him or I play with my clit. Honestly bless his soul, he really tries too and I can tell he's trying a bunch of varied things that worked in the past for other girls. I refuse to fake an orgasm but he already expressed he wished I could get off with him. I just reassure him that its okay and i enjoy the rest of it.. but i dont. I hate lying to him but i dont want to completely ruin our relationship.

Literally just going to pretend i like sex for the rest of my life if nothing improves. I dont want to be with anyone else. This is so pathetic i know.

No. 121100


Is it right for you be having sex all the time when you're not feeling it? I've gone through periods where my drive switched off so I just had 'numb sex' anyway. Looking back it was damaging, it gave me serious issues in the long run

I understand the pressure of not wanting to ruin a relationship but years of having sex out of duty can turn into a lifetime of intimacy issues that follow you from one relationship to the next. I think getting totally honest with the bf would be best, maybe there's a compromise where pressure will be taken off you but some forms of intimacy will still be there

No. 121106

File: 1565194195023.png (Spoiler Image, 331.82 KB, 432x453, b.png)

Is eating ass just a meme or do guys (and girls) actually appreciate it?

No. 121111


I do it

No. 121113

i've had it done to me but it doesn't really do anything for me. i could not put my mouth on a dude's ass though, that is just a hard no.

No. 121114

My bf does it and it’s usually the thing that pushes me over the edge if I’m touching myself lol

No. 121115

i wouldn't be able to do it. i'd finger someone's ass if they wanted me to, as long as i could wear gloves, but my mouth isn't going near it. hard limit especially when it comes to men, they don't wash their dicks properly half the time so i'm not taking any chances with their buttholes

No. 121116

My boyfriend does it to me sometimes when he eats me out before we do it in doggy or before we have anal sex.
I‘m not really into it though. It feels kinda-nice but I‘m way too self-conscious about my asshole to enjoy that much attention. I‘ll let him do it if it’s not too extensively because he‘s quite into it, but it doesn’t do much (if anything) for me.

He likes getting his own ass eaten out, but since he‘s quite hairy and suffers from IBS and has diarrhea a lot, I just can’t bring myself to do it. (He‘s fine with it and only brought it up like once or so.)

But in general I‘m really wary of it because it’s always kinda risky, health-wise. A nurse once told me that even when your anus is washed properly you‘ll still transmit gut bacteria that can cause infections.
So, no thank you.

No. 121121

>He likes getting his own ass eaten out, but since he‘s quite hairy and suffers from IBS and has diarrhea a lot, I just can’t bring myself to do it.

No. 121124


Having suffered with IBS for ten years (it mysteriously stopped after a fucking decade of it) I could not find my own ass or anybody elses ass sexy during that time. The association between bumholes and unpleasantness was strong..

I enjoy all that stuff now but during the ibs years.. nope! lol

No. 121125

No, I seriously enjoy it. I'm not the asexual anon. I just get nothing from piv sex.

I have a relationship where we have gone a few months (on my request) without sex just to be sure and honestly I missed it haha.

I think I prefer girls when it comes to actual sex, but I love my boyfriend and want to sleep with him even if it's not as satisfying.

No. 121126

It sucks but most men take it very personally when you tell them you're asexual. No matter what you say, it tends to make them feel undesirable. Most men seem to also get off on their partner being mutually into sex so, might just totally fuck up the "magic" for him.

If you end up finding out you're ace, I'd recommend trying to find an ace boyfriend. I'm married to someone who is sexually "normal" and I'm asexual, it's been extremely hard to navigate how our life is going to work. I came out to my partner as ace after we got married and I regret not being aware enough of my own sexuality that I couldn't speak up sooner. I just thought I had a shitty libido. We've made strides in getting me at least more mentally present during sex and getting my partner to enjoy being the object of very selfless sex but it was very difficult. Our marriage only works out because we are also best friends and have more to our bond than sexual exclusivity. I'm not so ace that I can't orgasm at all, but if it were up to me I'd never have sex and I'd only masturbate to relieve tension or put myself to sleep after a stressful day. There's never any passion from me unfortunately.

No. 121127

I am having a similar issue with low libido or something. I think I used to have "normal" levels of it, but recently it is just not there at all. I am not sure if it's because of stress or because I am less attracted to my boyfriend. In any case it makes me feel sad and it makes him feel sad too… today for example, was his birthday and I tried my best but it took me too long to orgasm. He is not very good at making me orgasm either, so asking is just not going to work. Idk anymore, having sex feels almost like a chore and that sucks.

No. 121130

Sex helps people maintain romantic bonds, on a chemical level. If you've had normal libido before it might be worth investing time in communicating about your tastes and trying to find ways to get back on the sex horse (yikes lol) so you can refresh your bond and fix your intimacy issues.

Unless you're actually naturally asexual it's not too late anon!

No. 121135

In what ways did you find it damaging? There's nothing i can say to him or do (that ive tried yet, and ive tried everything) to make the situation better. only worse. i dont really mind having sex because its fun at least right now and theres always hope ill figure out a solution. Will it be fun in the future? Who knows. For now im ok doing it especially because i love him so much. I honestly doubt ill be upset about having sex in the future as long as i still love him.

Also at least its a bit of a blessing because I'll never have the issue where i think with my vagina instead of my brain.

No. 121136

File: 1565242607403.jpg (15.01 KB, 480x318, tumblr_inline_p5htvat0O91vu6yb…)

How do I "un-train" myself to only orgasm under certain circumstance?! I feel like I can only cum in one or two positions on my own, I usually have to have a visual stimulant (video/pic) I'm very aurally (lol) focused, I can't cum without either making or hearing noise, my sexual tastes are very specific…like fuck, it's a lot. Other girls can be like, "I think about ass in a pitch black room and I cum in 3 seconds while standing up, using only the power of my mind" and I'm so jealous…but I've been doing it "my way" since I started, so I feel like it's engrained in me.

It also makes it really REALLY hard for me to cum during sex, even though sex is one of my favorite things ever. It's only happened once, and I really think it's because I can't cater to my "I only masturbate like this" needs. My sex drive is disgustingly high but I've even stopped masturbating for months as a last ditch effort before to see if I could just reboot in an easier to please way…nada. I need to re-train my clit and my mind, this is so hard and I have no clue where to start…

No. 121146

I loove being on the receiving end of it. I did it to one of my exes a few times too and it was technically fine because he was a clean freak, but I don't think I'd really do it again unless a guy REALLY wanted me to.

No. 121148


I thought I was fine doing it for years but I became pretty sex repulsed as time went on and continued doing it anyway. I had myself convinced all was ok but then fast forward to my late twenties and I've had a tonne of counselling sessions where I realised how unhealthy it was to repress my own feelings and put him first. Looking back I had low self esteem.

Just my own story, not saying it's the same for you

No. 121149

I've considered going to sex therapy but I don't know if it would help. But it can't be a physical issue if i know i can orgasm and get turned on sometimes briefly when i watch porn. And my hormones are normal.

I just don't want to waste money on a therapist and be told the exact same shit I've heard online or to just ~~explore yourself~~~

No. 121171

Have you tried smoking weed and then masturbating? I know it’s a weird suggestion but lmao

No. 121236

Thank you for replying to most of my questions anon. Sorry for the month long wait for a response, my anxiety got the best of me and had me thinking my questions were retarded.

If it helps, I've been on the pill for as long as I've been sexually active (3 years) so that may have something to do with the lack of wetness I feel. He also doesn't really do very much to try to turn me on so that may be a problem too. Not trying to be TMI but he basically just gives me head once in a while and then puts his penis in me, even after i've told him that i might need more than just head as foreplay.

I've spoken to a gyno (even switched to a female gyno because I feel a woman could relate more to my issues) and she just referred me to a physical therapist.

I have thought that maybe I was asexual but I still feel some sexual attraction to my bf so that can't be it. I thought that I may not like men for a while too, but the thought of being intimate with a woman doesn't sound very appealing outside of my head.

Thank you again for your response anon. Maybe i'll figure this shit out as I age.

No. 121248

Somebody pls help I'm desperate
I have a long distance relationship and the last time I had sex was in 26/06 (I took pill of the next day), my period came 01/07
I went to the gynecologist for the first time around 20/07 and did multiple exams (transvaginal ultrasound and 2 others), 26/07 my gynecologist told me everything was fine and that I was in my fertile period, but, today is 10/08 and I have no sign of my period. Is there any chance I'm pregnant? I'm sorry for the English and for being dumb

No. 121341

>I took pill of the next day
>was in my fertile period

Okay wait so are you on the regular birth control pill that you take every day and then pause for a week or did you take the morning after pill after having sex that one time?

But anyways, if by ‘she said you’re fetile’ she meant you were ovulating, you should be save. Usually you don’t ovulate if you’re pregnant. It can happen, but it’s super, super rare.

It’s probably just stress. If you haven’t gotten your period a week from now, you can take a test or see a doctor again. But you’re only a few days late as it seems so I wouldn’t worry too much yet.

No. 121407

I know that essentially, I´ll have to talk to my boyfriend about this, but I was wondering if anyone here has had the same experience and could give me some tips. I've only been with my boyfriend for six months, but our sex is great! He seemingly loves going down on me, he's kind of kinky and just all over great! The only problem is that he'll cum really quick. He can stretch the act out if he goes slow, and although that is nice, too, he can't fuck me hard for more than 30 seconds before hell cum. Its not really a big issue, because whenever I´ve had sex for a long time, it always ends up hurting, so I´m not really complaining. But it would be nice to have sex for longer than five minutes once in a while.

No. 121408

Hey so my boyfriend is a germaphobe, squeamish and generally is embarrassed about sexual stuff.

Thing is, I don‘t think he likes my vagina. If I hadn‘t had previous partners literally worship it before it‘d give me a complex. He‘ll try since I told him I enjoy being eaten out etc, but there‘s never a sincere desire from him, no matter how turned on he is. If he fingers me and it‘s wet, he‘ll spend the rest of the session with that hand well out of the way, not touching anything until he can go wash. It does go both ways though, when I tried blowing him he just kept asking if I‘m alright with it and felt super self conscious the whole time and couldn‘t cum, once he accidentally came on my stomach and didn‘t stop apologising for about a week, he was mortified lmao.

Also…it‘s a bit hard to navigate but he‘s got low desire to start sex etc, but the thing is that whenever we DO try it (3x a week or so) he‘s turned on as fuck, and soon as he‘s inside me, within a minute or two he has to keep stopping to hold off cumming. A few times now he‘s given himself ruined orgasms early on because he stopped it too late. Common sense would dictate that if you‘re ready to go so quickly, chances are you can and are willing to fuck more frequently, but he acts coquettish about the whole thing. I initiate 90% of the time and it takes me a while to figure out if he‘s actually into it or not, but by that point he‘s already ready to cum. Know what I mean?

Anyway with the vagina stuff it‘s weird. He‘s more than happy to touch anywhere else I like, but it‘s like the vagina is a no go zone which is kinda THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. I hate to say it but he‘s probably the worst sexual partner I‘ve had, despite being probably the nicest and most considerate in general.

There‘s good things about his low drive (if it IS a low drive), not into porn, jacks off rarely, doesn‘t ogle women and most importantly sees women as humans before sexual objects. I feel that shouldn‘t be something to brag about but given the state of men in general…

yeah how do i get my shy, squeamish bf to fucc

No. 121414

He sounds adorable tbh, do not change anything. He'll probably become less squeamish over time when he realizes he hasn't died from the Germs. Most women on here complain about the opposite problem, you should cherish your squeamish angel before he turns into a scat and anal fetishist at some future point

No. 121415

Tell him that the vagina is self-cleaning. It's a naturally very loe germ bodypart (if you also practice normal hygiene)

No. 121439

Oh come on, it's trading one set of problems for another. Clearly he's not attracted to her, is disgusted when she gets wet, but is happy to use her as a fleshlight. Getting embarrassed on its own is cute, and not initiating isn't a big deal at all, but getting grossed out at your genitals and not even wanting to touch them is a huge mood ruiner. Can you imagine every time he got his fingers wet he had to run off to wash his hands as if he touched something infected and dirty? Or if he tried to eat you out he have to wash off his face and mouth for minutes like he ate something rotten? Sounds awful to me.

Chances he won't listen to reason or statistics because phobias are irrational. When it comes to numbers the mouth potentially has even more bacteria than the anus

No. 121446

File: 1565732166191.jpg (37.01 KB, 540x518, 1557130058905.jpg)

The fuck is cute about your partner being disgusted by your body?

>>121439 is right. He simply isn't attracted to you but he still has the option of ignoring your body and sticking it inside of you to cum.

Get some self respect and find a different partner. This isn't going to magically resolve itself.

No. 121449

Shit I was going somewhere with that last part. Does he kiss you? He is getting exponentially more germs from that than touching your vagina, but chances are he's a big irrational baby and is just mustering up any excuse he can to dodge the fact he's disgusted by female genitals.

Wanted to add it's very common with how men treat prostitutes, too. They won't touch their icky vagina with their hands but they will stick their dick inside because it means they'll get to cum. They can close their eyes and pretend its a fleshlight or something.

No. 121468

I had a huge fight with my boyfriend because he rarely ever tries to get me off orally or with his fingers. Regular sex is really nice but it never even gets me close to satisfied the way the other two things do. Problem is that in the span of 4 months he's only done it a handful of times and he looks bored as shit when he does it and only goes for less than 10 minutes before he stops. He says he gets hand cramps but I think he just doesn't like doing it because he's bored. His eyes wander, he never makes sure he's touching my clit, he looks like he's thinking about something else. Meanwhile I blow him and jerk him off regularly for 45 minutes or more at a time and I don't stop when my hand or jaw cramps. I tried to tell him that it bothered me and we ended up just fighting about it for hours. He says that he isn't bored and he likes it, but then why doesn't he ever initiate any foreplay with me and why do I have to ask over and over for it and ask him to continue instead of him just starting by himself? Am I overreacting? He implied I'm crazy because he loves me and likes sex with me. I can't get over the feeling that I'm being cheated a good sex life with someone who actually enjoys touching me. Has anyone else had this problem? How did you fix it? Is it the kind of thing that can only be solved by dating someone new? I feel like I must be absolutely repulsive if my own bf doesn't even like touching me. I left a lot out and am rambling, I feel like I didn't give enough context and I sound greedy and selfish and unreasonable but I'm still so upset from fighting. Sorry for rambling and not using paragraphs I feel like an asshole.

No. 121492


I guess I have to jump to his defence a little here, unless I‘m misunderstanding what you‘re both saying.

Yes it can be a mood killer, but he tries to focus mainly on my pleasure, I have a higher sex drive than him. I tell him the things I like, and it‘s only stuff to do with the vagina that he basically never takes initiative with. He‘ll try with other things, and I will make sure I get off before he does. I think it‘s definitely more a bodily fluids thing. He‘ll freak if I can see him brushing his teeth or pissing, and is grossed out if my sweat gets on him or vice versa. Hell, he even wrinkles his nose if there‘s a lot of spit on his dick the times I offer to blow him.

And he will eat me out or finger if I ask, but there‘s passion in it because I can tell he‘s inwardly gritting his teeth to get through it for my sake. So I mainly just don‘t ask but it sucks.

No. 121496

If he‘s that sensitive he needs to go see a therapist, as it surely must affect other parts of his life too, if it’s that bad. If it doesn’t, the problem is sex itself and even then he needs therapy as well because this is not normal in any way.

Have you considered using toys for the time being? So instead of fingering he‘ll touch you/make you cum with a vibrator or something. Or maybe he‘d be more okay with it if he was wearing some of those surgical gloves? I mean, it’s not optimal but if he maybe can focus more on your pleasure this way instead of getting his hand germy.

I used to be a germaphobe as well and sometimes when I blow my bf I still think about the potential germs etc. But as long as I stay away from the area below his balls I’m good. And I also kinda get that he would be less grossed out by putting his dick into your vagina vs touching it.

Armchairing but is he really just afraid of germs in general or is he possibly emetophobic?

No. 121504

so i got diagnosed with vaginismus and me and bf are gonna work through getting physical therapy and procedure to help it in the future but vaginal penetration is basically impossible right now.

in the mean time, we want to do anal. the few times we tried, however, my ass struggles to let him in. we used so much lube too and it hurt so badly like it was tearing. we even did a lot of foreplay with a toy to ease it which the toy DID go in smoothly. but as soon as he tries it feels really tight and painful. im considering getting a plug. no matter how many hours we try to ease into it, it feels like he cant even get the head in. anyone have any tips?

No. 121505

>Meanwhile I blow him and jerk him off regularly for 45 minutes or more at a time

45 fuckin' minutes and he gets bored after 2x 10 minutes returning the favor?

Throw it overboard So ungrateful.

No. 121506

>it hurt so badly like it was tearing

There is your body's answer. It's telling you to stop it.

No. 121507

Do you want to do anal and why?
It sounds like you’re on board because you have to let him fuck you somehow, not because you want it for yourself.

If it hurts, stop doing it. It’s your body telling you that you’re not 100% comfortable and on board with it.

I’m personally really into anal so when I’m in the mood it doesn’t hurt at all. I let myself pressure into saying yes once though and even though I wasn’t scared that it hurts or something, so I wasn’t really that tensed up, it still hurt like a bitch and we had to stop.

No. 121508

yeah thats the thing, i AM into it. i was the one that initiated the whole idea. that whole area can get a lot of pleasure just from light insertions but once its my bfs dick its too much for it. bf is 7 inch for reference.

he is eager as well but patient and doesn't pressure or force anything so i dont have issues with him. maybe some people just have it smoother on the first tries and it could take longer for me? idk honestly. we'll keep trying but I'll make sure to stop if my body tells me to.

No. 121510

I feel you, its the same with my bf. I'll deepthroat him 'till I cry and gag, but he won't touch my vag for more than a few seconds, minutes top. Like yours, doesn't seem to pay attention to where I want him to touch either. He says he loves me and my vag, but I just feel gross and unwanted. He also says my pleasure is important to him, and that it isn't fun if it hurts me, but still sticks his bone dry dick in my unaroused vag so it hurts every time.

Tbh I don't even care about the pleasure anymore, though it would be nice, I just don't want to feel repulsing.

No. 121511


If a small toy feels good but your bf is too much then just stick to using the toy, honestly why keep forcing something that hurts?

Alot of the time the cause of vaginismus is past trauma or past painful sex etc.. experiencing pain from forcing anal isn't going to help you out there

The thing with anal is you are either fully relaxed and ready for it or you're not, it sounds like in the back of your mind you are not

No. 121513


Yo dump his ass, seriously.

Depressing to see this thread right now is full of women basically enduring painful sex or bad sex in a desperate attempt to put a guys pleasure first… while the favor isn't returned. Girls you will all look back on these relationships and regret staying in them so long

No. 121514

I can't really offer advice on the anal thing specifically, because I'm not into it but I had physical therapy for vaginismus and it changed my life. I would take things easy and try to do that as soon as possible, it makes a huge difference very quickly. I'll never be able to insert anything big but I went from not even being able to put in a finger without feeling like it was on fire to being able to use a cup and get exams.
I developed it after having a lot of pain with ovarian cysts and endo which made my muscles very tight and the entire area easily irritated. Now even that pain is much more manageable.

No. 121516


Diff anon here, I think alot of women are unaware that treatment like this even exists, one of the threads lately was discussing the importance of pap smears and anons were insisting nothing can be done to help vaginismus so they can't ever have smear tests done

Happy to hear treatment has helped you so much

No. 121518

This is some of the most depressing shit I've read in a while, you do not have to put up with this! Please don't go on tolerating this shitty treatment

No. 121523

>til I cry and gag

It's sad that it needs to be said but never ever ever ever do something sexual that makes you freaking cry and gag.

Remember everyone how sex is supposed to be about pleasure? Not about feeling absolutely miserable. Then what is the point.

No. 121526


Yep what happened to mutual pleasure and feeling satisfied and close to your partner? Whole thread is either miserable women enduring pain from trying to perform like porn stars or women suffering from vaginismus and being mentally scarred from pain inflicted on their genitals..

Single life with a couple of sex toys sounds 100 times better than any of these shitty boyfriends

No. 121548

i agree i dont think women should be going through this for the sake of pleasing their dude. im the anal anon with vaginismus but my vaginismus wasnt created by trauma. i realized i had it since i was 14 and couldnt insert a tampon. I couldnt get pap smears either. Ive never been raped before or
grown up in an atmosphere that makes sex scary. The reason why I want to do all this is because I have a high sex drive and i want to do these things and I desire it not for validation but for pleasure. my bf is very vanilla and doesnt ask a lot of me to begin with.

Once i make enough money Im getting a procedure to help it. Ive already been through mental health therapy for it to figure out why I have it.
Some women just really like and desire sex but simply cant do it and its genuinely frustrating and sad.

If youre going through this, I really reccomend finding OB/GYNs that specialize in vaginismus or endometreosis, etc. Ive been through nightmare pap smears where they wouldnt listen to me or making me feel ridiculous for screaming. Its really fucking hard to find one thats knowledgable about it so you might have to look into your nearest city.

No. 121559

You say it's for pleasure but it doesn't actually feel good for you at all? If you truly physically liked sex there wouldn't be a problem. Why is it so hard to accept you don't enjoy sex? There is such a stigma that you have to force and train yourself to enjoy it even if physically you hate it. That's the real sad part

No. 121560

I'm a recovering BPD-chan who has been single for about a year. I'm in therapy, and a lot of what I work through are issues to do with intimacy. The only relationships I've had before have been abusive/toxic, and the sex was awful. My abusive ex would grab me in public and graphically talk/brag about the sex we had to both friends and strangers. A lot of the time it also wasn't consensual. Another ex would force me to do degrading things that I hated by manipulating me and threatening to leave me (BPD was at it worst and he also got me hooked on drugs, so I was super vulnerable). He'd pester me and made me feel so guilty that sometimes I cried until I got him off, and when I wasn't enthusiastic, he'd get mad at me. From the time I was sexually active until now, I viewed sex transactionally, that it was just a thing to do to keep people around and happy. To be fair, when my mental health was really bad, I had a lot of hardcore, fucked up kinks, which now make me feel awful about myself when I look back on it.

I was sexually active for the first time in about 6 months the other week, and afterwards I just felt dirty and used. It was completely different to the sex I'd had before, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd just "sold my soul" and done something insanely bad, and that I was a slut.

Sorry for the wall of text and that this is more of a vent, but how do I work through these feelings? And how can I bring this up more to my therapist without feeling uncomfortable or like a slut? Thanks in advance anons. This is really getting me down.

No. 121572

>what happened to mutual pleasure and feeling satisfied and close to your partner

??? when has this actually been the case though. like it’s the goal for women, but most men don’t care.

No. 121582

nta but just because there are a lot of men like that doesn't mean you should accept a sex partner who doesn't care about your pleasure.

No. 121588

>started on birth control
>amped up my sensitivity like 100
>orgasms 10/10
>hurts when bf pulls my hair and pushes me around and does things we use to love
>can only cum in missionary now
I hate myself I feel like a bore

No. 121605


BPDer here too, sex has always been messy and emotional for me. I tend to either be highly sexual and sleeping around or go celibate for years at a time, there's no balance

A past ex has forced my to perform sex acts that very few people would ever consent to cos "I'll leave you if you dont, it's a necessity for me"

I know BPDers have a bad rep but alot of the time guys take advantage of our issues..

No. 121606


You're having sex and you're having good orgasms… what's the issue? What's so boring about that?

No. 121615

AYRT, you got it spot on. I usually used to switch between hypersexual and sex-repulsed. Your experience sounds really similar to mine, I hope you're able to get the help and support you need to work through it and heal.

No. 121627

What is it with men and not going for lube?? Just put some lube on jesus christ.

No. 121633

I will never get this. When I started going out with my current boyfriend I automatically went and bought us a tube of lube, bf thought it was weird and said he never used it because why would you need lube if you don't do anal. Didn't take him long to realize that having sex is nicer when your dick doesn't get sore. Like it hurts them too, what the fuck.

No. 121648

Obviously if you're not being slapped around and abused in the bedroom by your bf that's boring.

No. 121707

We use lube sometimes, but it hurts just as much if I'm not aroused.

Thb wondering if he reads my history, he suddenly tries way harder to please me. Pretty nice though, not going to complain

No. 122004

Ever since I started masturbating as a young teen I've mostly done so by rubbing over my panties instead of actually fingering myself, which I only do if I'm super horny.
I started it like that probably out of being grossed out or something but nowadays I do it because if I touch myself directly I orgasm really fast.
Is this normal or harmful in any way? I feel like I might just have made myself extra sensitive. When my bf fingers me it takes extra time because obviously he doesn't know where to touch and what rhythm to keep at what moment as exactly as I do but it's still never more than 5 minutes.
I feel bad because when we have sex he always takes a long time to cum and when riding him I often orgasm once or twice before he does. Which in turn tires me out and sometimes making me unable to keep up the pace. Not to mention going on without being all that horny anymore.

What do?

No. 122022

I'm having sex for the first time with someone soon, and it's the first guy since I broke up with my ex of 4+ years. I really like degrading/humiliating rough sex and I don't want to say anything that will come off as creepy for our first time. I'll mention my preferences some other time of course.

Are there any hot, more gentle things I can say? I was thinking just like "you feel good" (lol) or "please" or "cum fo me" idk.

I'm just really nervous. I don't want to come off as too eager or too wild and risk losing the chance to be BF/GF some how. I really like this guy but I'm also really sexual, have high libido, and have alot of demands i think.
Any advice for that?

No. 122023

If its your first time with him just be in the moment and play off how he acts. If you're really horny just focus on the act and get the both of you off, he'll probably be eager for more.

No. 122031


Would it be rude or clingy to want to have sex multiple times in one night, or to try to stay over?

He lives an hour away from me and I'd kind of like to (maybe pack a small bag with toothbrush and change of clothes) but I don't want be too presumptuous. I wouldn't say anything unless he offered, but I'd have it just in case.
Sorry if this is dumb to ask. I don't know what is like mature and normal for dating casually like this.

No. 122032

I was in a long term relationship with my highschool bf that ended early 20s. My first night sleeping with the guy that's been my bf since, I didn't bring a bag with stuff tho I wish I did for the morning after. Maybe fit some stuff in a handbag or similar. Just see how the night goes and don't have too many expectations. I do that and can ruin the night for myself. I was kind of in the same boat. Went months without sex and was so excited during the first time. I didn't go too crazy, but just took control on top because I was into it. My bf still talks about it.

No. 122035

I literally wish I had this problem holy shit.

No. 122050

If dicks are usually covered, why is it that so many I’ve seen are like a darker shade than the rest of the body
Balls too

No. 122082

same reason why labia minora and nipples are darker than the skin

No. 122086

ugh same
I’m 27 and to this day I didn’t orgasm during sex once, not even when I touch myself.

No. 122093

I literally don’t understand how women have multiple orgasms.. I can get one in, but it takes awhile and it’s super rare for my partner to get me anywhere* so I always take care of it myself. But after that one orgasm, my interest drops significantly. I’ve tried continuing to touch myself and sometimes I can get close to a second orgasm, but the pleasure plateaus and even if I spend 30+ minutes trying, I can’t hit that peak. Not even my favorite vibrator will do it. Is there something wrong with me? I’m so jealous of people who can orgasm multiple times in one sday session, like my sex life would be so much better if I could.

*not from lack of skill or effort. He’ll be down there for 30+ minutes and it feels amazing, but again my pleasure plateaus and I usually just tell him to stop bc it’s so frustrating.

No. 122094

Kinda the same issue with me. My clit is way too sensitive to keep going after I orgasm. I end up becoming uncomfortably ticklish when my bf fingers me to orgasm and he hasn't had an orgasm himself. It's a definite mood killer, like someone's stabbing my bellybutton. It also sucks because I don't like doing oral and he doesn't like handjobs so for him to finish, we have to wait like 30 minutes so I can get aroused again. I'm grateful he has patience, but damn I don't like being so ticklish.

No. 122202

Is there a way to resensitize your clitoris/vagina after years of masturbation?

I started masturbating at 11 or something and always just rubbed the part above my clitoris (like, where you can feel it underneath the skin).
I started using vibrators at 16 and before owning one used electric toothbrushes a few times but not regularly.
I think there was a time when I was around 20 where I used vibrators a lot. I did still sometimes use my hand though, so it’s not like I was unable to orgasm without vibrators.
However, it was always exclusively clitoral stimulation.

Now at 25 I’m having my first boyfriend for a year now and I’m really disappointed by sex. I just can’t come from anything but oral (and even then it’s a sisyphean task for him to get me there. I can’t even really touch myself during sex as I don’t feel anything.

Now reading posts like >>122004 makes me feel like it’s my own fault and I caused this by literally more than 10 years of masturbating ‘wrong’.

Can I do something to gain back sensitivity? Because I feel like not masturbating doesn’t really do much. (Would I have to avoid sex as well, even if it does nothing for me, stimulation-wise?)
I also feel like the less I masturbate, the more my sex drive decreases, so idk if that’s really the way to go.

But anyways: Anyone here that had a similar problem and can help?

No. 122203

Why doesn't he like handjobs? Not saying it's strange but it's pretty unusual

No. 122210

It is the other way around for me. I almost never climax when having sex and I recently bought my first vibrator (I am 28 btw). Since then, I keep having awesome orgasms and I feel great overall plus I even have a sex drive now. For me, using a vibrator is very beneficial. I still don’t really climax during normal sex, but I do enjoy the intimacy and I am fine with it tbh. If I want to have an orgasm for sure, I just let my bf use the toy on me. I know this doesn’t really answer your question, just saying that sex can also do nothing for you when you haven’t rubbed or used vibrators before & that you can also do both (vibrators and sex).

Other anons probably can tell you more about it but tbh… I don’t think you can really get your sensitivity back by not masturbating. I have gone months without masturbation and it didn’t change anything. You could try using a gel that makes you more sensitive, I tried those, too. It is no orgasm guarantee but I could definitely feel that it made my clit more sensitive.

No. 122224

stupid question, but have you tried using a vibrator during penetration? i do that 90% of the time and its great, much easier than just touching myself during sex.

No. 122225

Yeah, it’s really hard to do though due to angles/movement etc.
We even tried using the we vibe but it’s just super uncomfortable because my bf‘s dick is really big as it is and the part that’s outside keeps digging into my mons with his thrusts.

No. 122227

It's not your fault and there are also plenty of women like >>122210 who never experience their first orgasm until they get a vibrator. You're just finding out PIV isn't conducive to female pleasure and orgasms (for most women)

No. 122265

lmao, so update to this. Warning, it‘s gross af.

I told him that he‘d have to instruct me and initiate sex stuff because the same old was getting boring, and in the space of an hour or so he‘s building up confidence and suggesting new shit, then I finally hop on him and eventually off to put a condom on (on BC but cum can sting like hell sometimes), and his dick is fucking COVERED in this white lumpy shit, not discharge, thick curds.

Turns out for the first time in my life I got a yeast infection, and his dick shoveled it out of me. I was personally disgusted, but I wiped it off, then after he went out with me to buy medication and has been sympathetic towards it. He‘s buying yogurt for me after work. It‘s obvious he‘s dying inside from the thought though lol

Well, one step forward, two steps back huh

No. 122267

What a way to discover your first yeast infection anon! I recently got one and found out when my dildo was disgustingly covered post play, wouldn't wish that on any guy. At least he's sympathetic

No. 122272

Well, that's one way to find out. I hope you aren't planning on using yoghurt internally, it's not good for your vag.

No. 122284

I'm sorry you had that experience. If you can, I urge you to see a doctor ifyou haven't already. Your boyfriend's response is good, though. Seems like he handled it well.

No. 122315

What are peoples opinions/experience with natural yogurt for yeast infection? Any time I google it I get really mixed information

I've had three yeast infections over the years (two were from taking antibiotics) and two out of those three cleared up by using the yogurt on a tampon trick. One required actual pessary treatment

No. 122319

File: 1566997924972.jpg (281.38 KB, 700x1550, crystal clear.jpg)

No. 122321

this isn't accurate

No. 122322

Should I just be patient? My boyfriend and I have had sex when we were a bit tipsy, but hasn't been able to remain hard enough since.
Everything else is great and he gets hard easily and for our entirety of our makeouts but it seems to just not stay hard right before the point of penetration. I don't want to make him feel pressured to fuck me but I'm really attracted to him. We've only been official for a few weeks so I'm not exactly in a rush to do anything but I don't want this to be a re-occurring theme

No. 122324

it's probably nerves if he was able to when he had a little alcohol. maybe tell him you want to do it more? while understanding it may be like this for a while.

No. 122334

i'm experiencing the same thing
personally it might just be insecurities causing it but i think it would be better for you both if you talked about it instead of lying

No. 122337

It's probably performance anxiety. I say leave it alone because he is already putting pressure on himself to perform. If he loses it again don't act disappointed or anything, just get him to get you off in a different way and he might even get hard again.

Reason I say to leave it alone bc having your partner pressuring you to perform is the worst, even if you do it in a subtle way. I used to have trouble orgasming with my ex, and he would bring attention to it so much (even subtly at first and it made me feel awful) and look actively disappointed whenever I couldn't. Made it feel like a performance to validate his ego instead of us being intimate. My current bf has never pressured me in any way and when I couldn't orgasm he never even acknowledged it, he was just happy he made me feel good. After a couple months I orgasm every time we are intimate, sometimes even twice in a row. Anxiety is a major mood killer

No. 122351

You can talk to him about it