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- Don't be afraid to get spit everywhere
- Lick his balls and bury your face in them
- Say something nasty
- Stuff his dick as far deep in your mouth/throat as you can
- vacuum suck
- Eat his ass if you're feeling brave
here are some tips :
>remember to breathe thru your nose (hardest part for me)>take it slow at first to get that thing as far back as you can and if you are gaggy you gotta push through>keep your tongue between your bottom teeth and the dick to minimize the chances of a toothy blowjob.>testicle stimulation also helps plus they’re kinda fun to squish.
>think of the song “faith” by george michael (my personal tip)
hope it helps slightly. i also make dumb jokes because i’m socially awkward so i wouldn’t try that out. but i’ve always gotten glowing reviews on the bj’s.>>102975
YES GET FUCKIN SPIT EVERYWHERE GET NASTY
These are some good tips, I'd also add on use your hands, especially if you have trouble getting far down, you can wrap your hand around and stroke in combination with your mouth going up and down to create the illusion you are going deeper, if that makes sense!
Oh and eye contact, guys seem to dig that
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i have little to no sex drive, but my bf is extremely sexual due to being a former porn addict. i have fantasies but i rarely masturbate, and i feel guilty because i just can’t seem to actually get in the mood ever. i think it might be in part because my boyfriend isn’t very educated on sex other than what he sees in porn and i’m only into romantic shit nowadays, plus he can’t cum from sex so i feel bad that he doesn’t get anything from it and that it’s probably inpersonal for him because i love intimacy during sex. i’m also kind of into submissive boys and my bf is 100% dominant so even though our relationship is amazing we’re completely opposite sexually and he makes such a big deal when i don’t wanna jerk him off or suck his dick. today i told him i felt kinda depressed and didn’t want to do anything and he sat and sulked and then jerked off in the bathroom (which i don’t mind) but maybe my lack of sex drive is due to being put off by his attitude? sorry this is such a huge paragraph but what do i do?
No games….just pure sweet sounds and soft moans made by boys on youtube
My favourite channels are
くすのき, ひろまの稽古場, 森あっくん 女性向け ボイスアクター, and that しょう guy but I can't find his channel atm but it doesn't matter bc as long as you're not logged into your usual youtube account and keep clicking on recommended videos with japanese channel names,, you will surely stumble upon him and find more cute boys voices in the process. Don't forget to clear your history when you are done…..
This is my virgin sex advice.
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Thanks for this tread.
How would two women go about having sex?
Like, from the initial proposition to both parties being satisfied.
I've been dating this girl for 4 years and she is perfect and I want to marry her. We both have very low libidos which is ideal for both of us, no hassle. We barely ever even kiss, but I don't mind it much since I never really found kissing pleasurable outside of a simple gentle touch. What I mind is that soon we will be living together and I would like to try out having sex with her. I ran the idea by her and she's willing to try it too. Even if we can't get that aroused with our shitty libidos it would probably still feel pleasurable and build trust, right?
Or am I completely delusional?
Maybe I should just stick to my dream of becoming a massagist to be at least useful when I touch her. Maybe we should live a happy sex-less life and be happy with it because bad sex will ruin our love for each other.
Help, I am a very dumb lesbian who's very new to relatioships with women, especially women that are perfect in every regard and kinda unapproachable even if we're lying in bed together.
If you don’t have any desire to have sex, don’t have it. You shouldn’t push it because ‚that’s what couples do‘ or something like that. If you really want to have Sex, it should come by itself. It’s really nothing more than doing what feels good for you as well as the other person. If it feels like a chore, it’s not worth it. It‘ll ruin the experience tbh.
Give yourselves time to settle first. Even couples with regular libidos don’t necessarily fuck immediately after moving in together. There are some that find that new experience to be enticing, some are too worn out/stressed from the entire moving process and getting accustomed to that new living situation.
There’s no shame in living a sexless life and relationship as long as the two of you are okay with it. As I said, only do what feels good to you, not what you feel obliged to do.
Thank you. I actually thought about that a lot. Like, we don't really suffer and our relationship is stable even without sex, but you get bombarded everywhere nowadays how sex is what keeps people together, how it's important for a lasting relationship and health and all that.
After years of people just assuming me and her fuck I got a complex. Like that our relationship is not really real if we never have sex. Like we need to have sex even if just to realize we both actually don't need it. Try and either continue or completely give up.
Like, the girl in question. She never even masturbated before. She doesn't feel the need. So I want to help her in some way and find out if she's really asexual or just has zero experience.
I've had sex that I didn't really want to with a man before. He coerced me basically and there was no arousal in it for me, but I treated it like some kind of a science experiment and managed to enjoy certain acts like that.
You mentioned the massage thing, I think that would be a really good starting point. If you're both a bit inexperienced/not too into sex, just touching each others in gentle ways is just as good. Get some nice scented massage oil and just touch her body. Give gentle pecks on her neck, chest, thighs etc. It doesn't have to go to sex straight away. You can take your time to learn what feels good for both of you. Once you maybe feel comfortable with it, maybe try using your mouth & fingers a bit more on sensitive areas (breasts&vulva). I know it doesn't help when I say it'll come naturally but it will. You might even feel content just with giving one another intimate attention without feeling like it's "sex" (or sex as other people describe it, it really doesn't have to be penetrative or even that "passionate")
Just take it slow and enjoy her company & body.
this is going to sound really dumb, but how do i make my boyfriend orgasm? cw for the spoiler since it may be slightly upsetting. it is for me at least.
due to being groomed as a child, he can go for a very long time. we have really, really good sex, and he tells me that i make him feel amazing, and that i'm the only one he's dated where sex doesn't feel like a chore or a favor, and he finds me very very attractive. but whether i'm giving him oral or he's penetrating me, he has to finish himself off at the end. i know it isn't his fault, and that it probably isn't anything i'm doing wrong, but you can imagine that it makes me a bit insecure. i want to make him feel good, and i know i do, but i'd love to be able to make him orgasm myself. he deserves it, i love him a lot and wish he didn't have to go through what he did, it breaks my heart.
i'll definitely suggest this to him.>>103179
he actually told me he doesn't jerk off as much anymore, and when he does it's to me, not porn. and i'm a big giver so i think seeing my eagerness to please him has also helped his mentality some. he was so patient and loving in regards to my own intimacy issues so i just really want to help him too. we both said the same thing: that sex with each other is the first time it's been physically and emotionally satisfying. that being said…
>He needs therapy, this is beyond something you can help him with.
it hurts to think about this, because i don't think he even realizes how much it really affected him, but this is the most likely answer. i'll talk to him about all my concerns and bring up therapy, and continue being there for him like he's been for me. thanks guys.
thank you for this, i'll bring this up as well. i usually help him out by sucking his balls
while he manually gets off, but this is a good idea>>103196
oops you're partly right because i meant to type "it's usually to me." he admitted to watching less porn, not abstaining from it entirely. i'm running on 0 sleep>>103202
thanks. yeah, we see each other as often as possible and are very honest with each other so i don't think he'd lie about jerking off/watching porn less. i mean, i'll definitely ask him about his sensitivity when i talk to him about all of this but i just worry the issue is more emotional than physical. just want him to be happy and healthy you know?
What kind of porn does he watch? If it's a specific fetish that he gets off to that you can't cater to (either because multiple people are involved, it's one of those goofy fetishes like inflation, or it's violent and necro/snuff-tier) that could also be an issue. I think that's what >>103201
was getting at with "graphic."
i get a little embarrassed when it comes to dirty talk but i'll try to get past it, he seems to like it. will also try dressing sexy. thanks, and good luck with your bf anon>>103229
i actually don't know what he watches, but we have discussed our kinks/fetishes and his interests are pretty normal so i'd think his stuff would be fairly vanilla and not graphic like what you described
again, thanks everyone for the suggestions. i was nervous and hesitant to post about this but you've all been cool. i think the insecurity was starting to get to me so i'm glad i spoke up. i feel more confident about talking to him about this now
You seem not compatible for each other. Ask yourself if there is enough reasons to stick together when your sexual preferences are that different. >>103146
Just touch her and pet her to find out what you like and what she does like. Don’t take too much pressure it being sex as in double penetrating etc. You can be intimate in so many ways so you just need to find the right way to show it. Touch different parts of her, find what spots she wants you to touch her.
Oh shit, this really makes me miss lesbian relationships…. I’m bi and sex with males are so straight forward with obvious ending.
Try to enjoy the intimacy as itself. You don’t NEED to have sex/penetrate/orgasm to have a real relationship.
Perhaps you should just find someone that makes you feel secure? >>103310
Would it help if you masturbated a bit more?
I used to be with a guy who had a thing for my feet. The most we did was a footjob and some toe sucking (as in my toes in his month). Hopefully he's not a huge creep about that and doesn't force you into something you find uncomfortable.
I never really got the appeal, but it's fine if it's nothing gross like showing your foot up his ass.
It was kinda a trade off, I like my ears bitten and licked and it did nothing for him. We just decided to do it for each other because why not if it's not any grosser than regular sex.
How did you feel when going the day without sex? A sex addict would probably act crazy and moody like junkies do. Maybe you're at that "functional" level though, like functional alcoholics.
Maybe incorporate masturbation or using toys to give your husband's dick a break. If the sex impedes on your life, consider therapy.
You guys are right. My desire is for sex but I should try to make do with masturbation. >>103371
I was quite frustrated but I didn't lash out on anybody so that's good. I'll shop for a toy and try more masturbation if my husband gets overwhelmed again. At 31 I think my sex drive might slow down a bit in the future too.
Most of the time he can keep up but in the end I'm pretty much milking him dry. He doesn't even ejaculate more than a few drops.>>103380
We're making plans to have a baby in the next couple years.
You could say the same about legs or ears lmao. What a weird thing to be angry about, it's not like it can be helped.
Also not sure what >>103353
means since many of them love stinky feet/enjoy being stepped on. That said, having a foot fetish doesn't make someone inherently misogynistic dom or
inherently sub, it's pretty neutral.
t. foot fetishist (and yes I'm a woman, we're out here)
I lost my virginity five months ago, but only had my first orgasm two months ago.
Emotions definitely play a large part in it for me, both times have been when I've felt super lovely-dovey or when we've really missed each other.
Clitoral stimulation is uncomfortable for me, it just feels too sensitive and becomes painful really quickly. All of my orgasms have happened in the cowgirl position.
I thought that's the norm before I read about all those anons with sensitive clits and realized they are touching it kinda directly. Like of course that wouldn't be pleasant. I don't go straight ahead for it but like pull it, stroke it while going for areas nearby but still feeling the movements and pleasure in the clit. It's great.
But maybe that's me and ppl actually go straight for the clit lol. Dunno man I flinch at the thought.
I thought that's the norm before I read about all those anons with sensitive clits and realized they are touching it kinda directly. Like of course that wouldn't be pleasant. I don't go straight ahead for it but like pull it, stroke it while going for areas nearby but still feeling the movements and pleasure in the clit. It's great.
But maybe that's me and ppl actually go straight for the clit lol. Dunno man I flinch at the thought.
this. he needs to practice jerking off with lube and not using a death grip until he reconditions his dick to ejaculate to a lighter touch. my ex had the same issue and using lube and and not watching porn helped him (well, til he went on antidepressants, but that's another story).
so take heart, anon, it's not your fault.
That’s not necessarily submissive though. Especially being tied up can be a very vanilla thing if the dynamics aren’t ‚properly’ D/s which seems to be the case with TA‘s boyfriend.>>103551
Been there, but if he doesn’t understand I can’t really offer any other advice besides trying to really make him understand what your problem is. I mean, I don’t really what part of „It doesn’t really give me any pleasure if you’re doing it for me because you know I like it, not because you do“ there is that he could not understand.
Is there maybe anything you could offer him as a kind of substitution? Like, blindfolding or anything? This way he can still feel like he’s doing you a favor and making you happy and it’s less frustrating(?) for you?
It's exactly how subs work. It's not the action, but the intention behind the action. A lot of people mix up submissive/bottom and dominant/top.
For example, a girl regularly tells her boyfriend to tie her up and beat her. It's not really his thing, but he knows it makes her happy and does it to please her, and he gets pleasure from that. The girl isn't a sub in this situation but she is a bottom, she's still calling the shots. The man is still the sub here. The sub's main purpose is to submit to the dominant's will after all.
The thing though is, a sub still enjoys doing stuff they’re not suggesting themselves because of the power dynamics. They enjoy being told what to do and serving their Dom.
That’s not the case with >>103551
. He ASKS her to do this, even though he doesn’t really want it himself and anon doesn’t get what she wants from it either. It’s not a D/s situation just because you’re tied up. And that’s why they’re struggling. He can’t just fulfill the physical desire when the power dynamics is what it’s actually about in the first place.
>I only like it if the guy is really into it>even better if he's kind of embarrassed about it but can't hide it. >I think it's more of a humiliation thing
THIS is what a sub would behave like. Because they’re put in a situation they don’t particularly enjoy but still get pleasure out of due to the psychological factors.
Anyone else get extremely wet during sex, like too wet? After a couple minutes I'll just be completely soaked and it honestly kinda ruins the sensation a little because there's like 0 friction. It'll go from struggling to put it in, can barely move cause it's so big and within a few minutes we have to stop so I can wipe down cause it's just slipping out. What's the point of a big dick bf if I can't enjoy it half the time?
I don't know what to do about this
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Alright, so this is something that is really starting to piss me off. I recently lost my virginity to my boyfriend, we are long distance, and going strong (Visiting him here in a few days) but… i literally can't cum now from masturbation, or it takes me literal hours, and it used to take me only about 4-7 mins at most. I feel so fucking pent up and even using toys wont work, i miss feeling how warm and hard he got, I miss kissing, and that deep emotional connection, how can I get over this? I used to masturbate literally every single night, and make myself cum over and over again, but it's been almost a month dry now, and i'm going fucking crazy.
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My boyfriend is really sweet and we both love each other but I'm disappointed that he doesn't initiate sex more. I have asked him about this before and he says ok but he still doesn't seem to ever be spontaneous, or take me into his arms or come over to me unprompted…he seems to love me a lot, and we have good sex when I initiate it (which he knows is difficult for me as I am very shy), it just makes me feel bad..am I doing something wrong? Do I have unrealistic expectations? Am I looking at a gift horse in the mouth?
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About every week or so we get in a video call and masturbate together, which I enjoy, it's more pleasurable than alone but I still just can't cum, it's frustrating because i feel like i'm always on the edge but I can't get over it, even with talking dirty for hours before and taking my time.
My ex kinda was like that. Like, he did love me and was actually quite touchy-feely, but basically never initiated sex, even though he did enjoy it.
For him sex just wasn’t as big a deal. He also masturbated like less than 5 times in a year. Not because he didn’t like it, but he just didn’t see the point in it.
Idk if it’s the same for your bf though. But I wouldn’t read too much into it.
They do like it, but don’t care nearly as much about as the media suggests. It’s nice to get all made up every once in a while but as soon as the action starts they don’t care anymore.
Depends on the guy though. There are some that find it a massive turn on if you keep wearing it during sex. But I’d say the majority prefers to be able to actually touch you and feel your skin.
Uh, what do you actually say when you talk sensually ?
It sounds dumb, but I'm all ready to be sensual and shit, but I have no idea what to say
My boyfriend is also like >>103641
great at sex never initiates anything unless we've been making out for a solid hour, doesn't get even obvious hints, doesn't watch porn but admits to instead thinking about past sex we've had. I once drunkenly put some porn on to be a 'cool gf' during sex and he outright asked to put it off.
I think we expect all guys to be porn damaged pigs because so many so we see these decent ones as weird, but maybe they have a lower libido too. If you learn to be selfish enough to just initiate it whenever you want it, they're a treasure.>>103626
Sometimes they're too dense to notice a nice matching set but I've yet to meet a man that doesn't lose his shit over simple stockings with a belt
Op of that post here, I feel. Me and my bf are totally vanilla and we have an incredibly strong emotional connection - he is extremely gentle and sweet to me. I guess I'm used to men being sex-obsessed assholes that it takes some adjusting when you actually start dating someone who acts like a human being.
Thank you for the input.
Also, I'm a little shy to wear lingerie, but I feel like I want to someday. My boyfriend doesn't even expect me to shave or anything like that so I feel like it would be ultra brazen of me. Seconding what >>103674
said, most of our sex is purely emotionally-based and we don't really talk super dirty or sensually. So sometimes I want to say something but idk how to say it.>>103697
How hard are you doing it? Try being gentler, it can feel better if you're gentler and a tease, you can give your tongue rests and turn on your gf.
I‘m not doing it that hard tbh, it also happens when I‘m being gentle. I asked my girlfriend and she says I‘m doing great, pressure/technique-wise.
I think it’s genuinely just from moving it so much/for such a long time out of my mouth.
I also do pause every now and then but it just doesn’t seem to be enough time to recover. Like, when I go back to using my tongue it feels like I never stopped.
I never go directly for the clit. I always rub the area above it. I also find it a lot more pleasurable to rub up and down on either side of the clit (mostly the right) instead of going from left to right.
I do find fingering uncomfortable, however I’m fine with toys, especially those made out of glass.
idk if my vag is weird but i don't really have to reach too far to hit the right spot, like just half of my fingers lenght is good.
Also I was just wondering… How can you tell if you're tight? Like can you measure it with fingers or. what.
Same disposition and that's my nightmare anon, falling in love with a dom. Sounds awful.
How does he feel about cowgirl? That might make you feel more in control as well as provide his desire for vaginal. Unless he's also into gross shit like holding you down, choking, and hair pulling.
Fuck him asap before things start to fall apart. If you could regularly rotate top/bottom that would be good.
Best scenario is him turning in to a butt slut if he finds it enjoyable enough, would be no compromises in your relationship then.
This is the sex advice thread, not brag about your bfs big dick thread like a teen.
Yes I'm jealous.
My ex once told me how his ex was very tight (in fact so tight it sometimes was uncomfortable for him) and her and I are basically the same height. I‘m on the wider side though.
You're not alone. I don't outright cry, but I can sometimes feel it almost happening esp during missionary. That's a really emotionally intimate position for me. >>103910
Just be honest with him. If he's not a moron he'll understand that the body sometimes just has a weird reaction to things.>>103897
Lots of lube and go slow. I'm not sure if its something you can adjust to though. My ex had a huge dick and I just never could get used to it. Got to a point where I dreaded sex bc I knew it would be painful and that just didn't help me relax, which made it painful, etc.>>103906
I'd imagine height might have some correlation with depth, but I'm no gynecologist.
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How do you enjoy sex?
I feel like I've never really enjoyed having sex.
What I enjoy the most is the feeling of anticipation and being wanted, but the actual process of sex is extremely unsatisfying, painful or boring.
I've both had sex in and out of long term relationships and it usually feels the same. It's "exciting" for the first couple of times (maybe a couple of months in a long term relationship) and then it suddenly becomes a chore.
I'm finding it difficult to discern whether I genuinely dislike sex as a whole, or if I become unattracted to the people I'm with and my body is trying to tell me. I am attracted to my partner physically and I have been physically attracted to the other people I've been with. It almost feels as if the only thing I sexually desired is "being wanted" and "being sexy".
Also, am I a prude for not wanting to engage in any sexual activity at all when I live with my partner and their parents? They constantly reassure me that their parents can't hear it (I know they can) but I just cannot get into the mood at fucking all. The entire situation feels so fucking suffocating and forced, so when we do have sex, it's them just pumping away for however long until they cum and it's over, almost all in silence. There's never any chances to experiment or god forbid raise our voices because one of them is unemployed and stays home 24/7, every single day.
tl;dr how do you know if you truly dislike sex or if you CAN like it, but somehow every single person you've had sex with become immediately or near immediately unattractive to you and the sex sucks
Have sex with people you’re attracted to? Stop going into sex with this fantasy of everything being passion and flowers and go into it just looking to get off?
It’s all in your head bro, stop thinking so much and get into the physical feelings of penetration, getting eaten out, etc. Do what everyone else does in unhappy relationships and pretend it’s someone else.
I am similar to you anon. Even when I found a guy I found the sex to be pleasant with, I got bored and started dreading it after a few months. I think personality is more important for me in long term attraction, hence boredom once the novelty wears off or it feels like a chore.
No solution except for find someone with a sexy mind/personality.
There's an understanding now that your sex drive is a balance between what turns you on and inhibitors. Inhibitors are stronger than turn-ons in most people. So work on removing the inhibitors, aka move out
. If you can't have sex because there's always someone there who might hear you (and his parents at that), that's really your only option. >>104009
If anon actually gets into it to get off the guy's parents are going to hear, which is awkward af. Totally understand why she can't relax.
Foreplay is essential and personally privacy is an absolute must for me. I have to be somewhere I can make as much noise as I want and express myself fully during sex. Then I can get fully into every sensation. Sex is a lot more than someone pumping away at you like a doll, there's a lot of trust and figuring someone out before I even let them penetrate me.
>The entire situation feels so fucking suffocating and forced
This is a problem. Please don't let him do this to you. Boundaries are something that need to be set in a trusting relationship and he's overstepping yours which is causing you to resent him. No wonder you feel no attraction to someone who is constantly causing you discomfort.
It really varies a lot by each guy. I have given head to guys who have finished in minutes but the guy I've been seeing takes like 20-30 minutes but says I give the best head he's ever had. It might just be that he has issues with it, like he said! But you can try different techniques and stuff to see if it would help of course.
>play with his balls/squeeze lightly>foreplay! work your way down to his dick slowly, kiss his stomach lightly along the way >try different bj techniques and see what he responds to best>ask him what he wants you to do, communicate a lot and have him tell you ahead of time what would get him off
the method I use that every guy has told me is the best head he's ever had is the hand/mouth combo, kind of hard to explain but I'll try! basically just put your hand on the shaft and lightly twist around and move your head in the opposite direction if that makes sense? and make sure it's v wet. it's basically the grapefruit technique, but just ur hand, no fruit involved lmfao
it gives the sensation of constantly deep throating him
Thanks you guys. It kinda affirms the assumption that it’s rather just the way my bf is than my technique cause all of those are things that I’m doing.
>start slow and build up>suck with teeth covered and cheeks inward>deepthroat simulation with hands (as well as real deepthroat, actually)>play with balls, even sometimes finger his butthole a little cause he’s really into that>swirl tongue around frenulum
He loses his mind especially over the last one, but even if I do it for 10 minutes straight he’ll still not cum. Like, he’ll not be able to talk but orgasm? Nah.
I tried sucking more once because another guy told me that got him off within seconds but my bf said it hurt.
Another thing I just remembered is that the closest we’ve been to cumming from it is after the holidays when we didn’t have sex and he didn’t masturbate for like 2 days. Usually we have sex about 2-3 times a day plus him masturbating every morning. So yeah. That probably has to do with it as well.
Find a man who doesn’t masturbate or watch porn often. I had a Chinese bf who was a Virgin, barely watched porn or jacked off and he came just from being in the same room as me lol
If a man watches a lot of porn and jacks off a lot his dick is already ruined by death grip and porn ideas about sex. Sex is boring and too drawn out if they take to long to cum and it’s annoying too.
So how long is too long for sex then?
I used to talk to a guy who bragged that he could last hours. At first it sounded appealing, but I don't think I'd enjoy it that long.
eh licking or a massage around the asshole is alright, but actual anal isn't enjoyable at all imo
getting your ass ate isn't anything to write home about, when you have a whole clitoris to work with tbh
He sounds like a lost cause, and if it's only about him why have sex together? Dump him.>>104728
I literally feel nothing in this area, so any stimulation there is boring as hell. Maybe some women have their nerves aligned so they like it but don't shit on those who don't.
You can dislike it even without hangups. I used to enjoy anal sex with a partner who always got me off with dp, but it's not something I can be bothered to do ever again. I let my current partner try eating it once but I'd rather do something different and now he's done it he also got over the taboo appeal. I respect other people enjoy different things but it doesn't make you prude or asexual if you don't enjoy anal.
I'd rather not risk roids from penetration or causing ecoli poisoning either
Anal doesn’t feel the same to everyone though. Sometimes the nerves are placed in such a way that anal stimulates the same kind of nerves as your clitoris/g-spot. But to some it just feels like pooping in reverse.>>104734
That’s bullshit. The asshole feels extremely different from a vagina. It’s tighter, has a completely different texture, different muscle movements… you just can’t compare the two. Therefore men might enjoy some variation once in while, some prefer the one some the other.
And you know what makes a man gay? Being into men. Liking dicks, flat, hairy chests, beards.
A man can enjoy fucking a girl’s ass while playing with her clitoris, fingering her, playing with her breasts etc. That not what a gay man would do for pleasure.
It‘s the same as saying any girl that likes being fingered or eaten out is a lesbian just because that’s what lesbians do, too.
Is this your first sexual relationship?
Letting him just fuck you when you're not into it, even if you're telling yourself that you don't really mind, can cause lasting psychological associations that can damage your ability to actually enjoy sex. What happens if you tell him you don't feel like it? I'm actually kind of worried anon
As for finding what works for you, this sounds cliche but I recommend lots of self touching when you're calm eg in the bath so you know what works best on yourself. I don't want to be an asshole but if aren't able to tell him you enjoy dirty talk, the both of you need to work on communicating as a couple.
time to turn the tables and insist on pegging him.
"Either everyone's butt is game or no one's is"
You can also say no.
To me it literally feels like an internal clitoral stimulation, while during PIV I most of the time feel nothing.
It‘s anatomy and also a mental thing. For some women it works, for some it doesn’t. No reason to shame either.
However, no one should ever feel obliged to do it just bc their bf wants it. If you don‘t want it (for whatever reason), don‘t do it.
I'll try letting him know again but his previous attempts at talking dirty were so bad omg. >>104766
Yeah I could see how all of this sounds bad out of context but the worst that would happen if I said I wasn't into it is he'd stop and I'd feel guilty. He'd immediately stop if I told him. I totally appreciate your concern though because creating negative associations sounds serious.
He's my first sexual partner but we've been together for 7 years. For the first few years I was actually the one who was horny all the time, we'd sometimes have sex multiple times a day. Then something changed Idk if it was because I started taking the pill (not on that one anymore but idk what the lasting effects are) or maybe because I started having issues with my body image but I blamed it on just getting older but I'm only 25… I used to love touching myself and now I just kind of get bored halfway through. I have no imagination so that doesn't help lol. I'd say it would feel better if he was able to touch me and surprise me but I normally touch myself when we're having sex because my clit is so sensitive that anything other than the most delicate touch is painful. I don't even like vibrators because they're too strong lol. Idk maybe this is worth talking to my doctor about now that I think about it. I just wish I could go back to how I was a few years ago, it feels so much worse when you know what you're missing out on.
My bf has this weird fantasy of me tormenting him by hitting on other guys and he being all jealous about it and feeling humiliated. It’s honestly a turn off for me because I see his as a major cuck when he’s like this.
The problem is, he has developed a major thing for this and nothing seems to be exciting him more than this fantasy. Before all this, he was centered around giving me pleasure, but all other sexual things have now become awkward on his part, when he tries to initiate something, it feels super awkward and when I try to, he just doesn’t seem too responsive.
However, when it comes to this one thing, that I’m starting to hate, he gets into major mood and is all crazy about cumming to the fantasy.
Starting to feel sexually unsatisfied and resentful, any ideas what to do?
I just still kinda dislike missionary cuz of dudes like >he's forcibly holding you down
Then get a dude who isn't a dom if you aren't a sub?
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Guys, how do I cum? Like honestly. I was raised in a household that rejected a lot of normal teen stuff like masturbating/watching porn. I was also extremely sexually dormant before I got with my bf, meaning that even if I hadn't been raised like that I probably wouldn't have tried to flick the bean anyway. Now that I'm with my bf (we lost our virginities to each other) I love fucking. It's kinda like I'm making up for lost time in a sense? And while I love sex and it's really pleasurable and I can make my bf cum no problem, there's been no luck for me. Ever.
I have ADHD and I thought that maybe that my lack of focus is what couldn't let me nut, but I still can't even on adderall. Sometimes while my bf is fingering me (my fav btw) I feel like I have to pee really bad and my heart beats so fast and it's overwhelming in a lot of ways so I have to ask him to stop. If I asked him to keep going do you think I could get there?
I really do love my boyfriend and I love everything we do in the foreplay department and the sex on its own is great, but I want to have an orgasm at least once and it's killing me. 0I can't ever really get turned on to porn, erotica, or like my own touch so I doubt I can coax one out on my own. I'm beginning to think it's impossible guys. And yeah, I know thinking about wanting an orgasm during the act can stop you from having one entirely, but I can't get it out of my head. Please, any advice would be greatly appreciated.
Some of what you seems might possibly be a panic disorder, maybe get help for that?
I think it's easier to learn how to have an orgasm yourself through masturbation and then work your way up to having an orgasm with someone else.
It’s not dirty or gross or slutty or anything negative your family might have told you.
Put on something that makes you feel sexy, and just casually explore. There’s zero pressure, and if you’re uncomfortable you can just stop. Try new things with your partner, like external clitoral stimulation or vibrators, maybe that will help.
Adding that you can do it in the shower if you're scared of actually peeing
Make a night of it, have a glass of wine and have some nice music on
I said this before but i also feel an overwhelming urge to pee during fingering or penetration, and it's so distracting that there's no way i can cum like that.
I'll post here if i find a way around that but hopefully you figure it out before me.
I have never been able to cum with another person because there's no way they can imitate my clit tecniques and penetration makes me want to pee so badly that it kills the mood for me.
I know the struggle, don't give up though.
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Is it?? Thanks for letting me know i'm not a freak of nature, i've asked some friends about this before and they've said they've never experienced it.
Nature is a douchebag tho, that feeling is very stressful and offputting.
That is hypocritical anon.
Be upset if he's into stuff you're not into (like hardcore degradation unless you like that), is an addict and is ignoring you for it, or is watching necro/pedo shit.
I know it doesn't really help the emotions but it is irrational. I'd still dislike it but I literally draw porn so I know I need to get over this before dating lol.
It's silly because you are also wanking to porn.
There are real, actual reasons to detest the porn industry. http://askaradfem.tumblr.com/post/108129969882/anti-porn-resource-masterpost
Yea I understand this.
It's just.. I don't get off to the guy, where as i'm pretty sure how the girl looks matters to him, meaning he's cumming to the body of some random chick ..
Perhaps i'm being stupid.
I have actually brought this up with him and he says just because he finds "some slut's" body nice, doesn't mean he has feelings for them.
But no I literally watch porn with the ugliest dudes (since most porn is focused on girls. I mean male porn actors are not exactly known for their looks)
No I watch it because the act of the sex turns me on.
I don't care what the man/ woman looks like !
If I feel horny watching sex helps me.
umm not animated, basically whatever pops up on the pornhub homepage kind of thing.
so then you like seeing people not just "sex". either way you sound fucking stupid.
this isn't even sex related, it makes more sense to have gone in the relationship advice thread. it's clearly not affecting you sexually, you just have an unwarranted hypocritical insecurity.
1. Get over yourself and communicate
2. Tell her to get over herself and communicate
I've kinda resorted into just doing what makes me feel good in cowgirl instead of trying to think about him, my bf says he likes the position mostly because it gives him a good show and he gets off more to see me enjoy it rather than the actual act itself. You can always ask him if what he would like for you to do if he looks like he's not enjoying it much.
And for the dead fish thing, move your hips, your hands, show him that what he's doing feels good. Like just in a missionary position you can thrust your hips a bit, grab his hair, move your hands along his back, moan in his ear etc..
I was in the same situation a few months ago. Found out the guy I was with really likes having his butthole licked and fingered, and needless to say that sort of thing doesn't turn me on at all.
But I figured it was good juju for me to give it a shot, because I'd want him to try stuff to me even if it wasn't necessarily his cup of tea either.
I don't do it much. Just on the occassion when I give him a blowjob I stick a finger in his butt, but I'm careful because I have fingernails. If he looks clean and doesn't smell I'll give him a lick.
Maybe it needn't be said, but if your man isn't very clean you absolutely have the right to tell him you're not going to do it. My bf cleans out his butt well and isn't a gross neckbeard, so most of the time I'm okay with it. It's actually a little fun making him squirm.
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Is it degenerate to sext? I've posted in /soc/ threads looking for eboyfriends but always end up sexting and roleplaying. I don't send nudes or anything (just my face sometimes) but after all is said and done, I feel pathetic. Does anyone else here feel the same way or have any advice for this? I've never had a boyfriend or any kind of physical relationship. Discord sexting is my only sexual outlet.
Ooh my last bf was into this! I always told myself I'd never be down to touch a man's asshole but I was so in love with this guy I sucked it up and it ended up being so fun for both of us. First, you really should be starting by asking him what he likes. But here's my experience: Rule of thumb - Most guys like the prostate massage more than the in-out motion of a finger. If you know where your G-spot is, the prostate is basically in that exact same position in his ass. You'll be able to feel it, it's soft and spongey. It was always fun to start teasing him after going down on him for a bit. We would always have to pause to get some lube. Also I made sure my fingernails were short. One more thing: No matter how clean he is, it's inevitable you're going to get shit on your hands. It's not a big deal. The way I handled this was just by not looking at my hand when we were done until I had a chance to wash it! >>105756
You need to tell your bf what feels good to you, he can't read your mind. Masturbate in front of him so he can see how you like to be touched. Communicate with him. You're not broken, sex can and will be enjoyable for you. Sex is not supposed to hurt. Relax, take it slow, and use lube.>>105804
lolol I'm the same way, I have a handful of penpals from /soc/. I even dated a guy from there for several months a few years ago. He ended up being a bit psycho (yeah I know big surprise) but in a fun way because he was also quite wealthy.
Sexting strangers is a little degenerate but it's also fun? But I understand the pathetic feeling. It's the reason I don't really do it much anymore. You finish cybering and your hormones are going crazy and suddenly realize you're by yourself in your room. It's a bummer. My recommendation to you would be to either fully embrace this habit or quit it if it's making you sad. Maybe it's time to date a 3D boy.
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Any anons here dealing with erectile dysfunction?
My bf has a very high libido and initiates sex all the time. He gets rock hard very easily but if we start going he loses it after about 5 minutes. This happens pretty much half the times we have sex. It happens when he's sober too so it's not whiskey dick or anything. At first I though it was because he was nervous but it's definitely not that anymore.
I read somewhere that if it's not psychological it could be a cardiovascular problem and that the blood is needed somewhere else in the body so it leaves the penis and now I'm worried af.
Is there anything I can do or should I try to convince him to see a doctor?
test for total and bioavailable testosterone.
test for FSH.
test for LH.
test for estradiol.
If needed - aromatase assey.
Make sure he is not in any prescription medication like SSRIs/SNRIs/tricyclics/atypical dopamine antagonists
If all else fails instead of opting straight away for viagra, you might want to look to an atypical dopamine agonist like Modafinil.
I never thought of that but it sounds fun might try it>>105833>>105857
I don't know, he doesn't watch more porn or jerk off more than other guys I've been with, just the normal amount, but I guess it still could be it. Does he just have to stop jacking off to get over it?>>105835>>105862
Wow that's a lot haha but it could be that, if it's his thyroid it would explain why he's so skinny
I've convinced him to see a doctor and booked an appointment so will probanly find out soon thank you guys for the advice.
Plenty of younger siblings have crushes on their older siblings SOs. As long as you don't seek her husband out to try and fuck him then I don't see the problem.
BUT I find it very odd that you watched your sister get fucked to where you could literally see a dick going inside of her, and that you didn't even consider that being weird. Forget the husband and think about watching your sister get pounded–does that not strike you as fucking weird?
You're not the first person who has watched two people have sex, or possibly a family member having sex, but I just have to say that it's seriously nuts what being horny does to humans.
I am glad my ridiculously horny dreams amuse you. One time, I had a dream that I was locked in a post apocalyptic orange factory and shoved every orange up my ass.>>107284
Tbf I do get why it's kind of like edging, for me all the sex is just as intense and pleasurable as irl, just a bit more given I'm magically taking a 10foot dick, but also nothing is ever enough if that makes sense. I'm not this much of a psycho deviant IRL I swear my dreams are fucking insane though. I've also randomly had dreams where I'm in a harem of like 30 women, have had my husband morph into a hamster and disappear while seducing him, have ran around the city as a giant like Reptar ravenously searching for the D, have banged the aquatic guy from hellboy in a bouncy castle, that I fucked the Simpsons version of Elvira with a strap on, and that I married Willy wonka with a limited edition candy cane in my ass
I sincerely wish I was fucking kidding. I have no idea where this shit comes from and it's absolutely bizarre
and turns out my boyfriend has a heart condition and is on beta blockers now. Just putting it out there in case anyone else here has that problem, if nothing else explains it he should see a doctor because it could be something more serious
It's ok. We went to a regular doctor at first and told him about the problem and after examining him he said he has high blood pressure and that he should see a cardiologist for his heart. So we went to a cardiologist, he did an ecg i think it's called, and an ultrasound and diagnosed him with mitral valve prolapse, which he said isn't serious for now, but is causing an irregular heartbeat so he gave him meds for that and the blood pressure. Basically his heart was working overtime so that's why he had trouble keeping an erection.
I was sure it wasn't anxiety because we've been together for a long time and he had no reason to be nervous anymore, plus it didn't happen every time we had sex. I guess he did have some symptoms, he got out of breath kinda easily but I assumed that was because he doesn't really work out is skinny as hell, and he also had palpitations sometimes but I thought that was pretty common cause I get those sometimes too. Maybe should have taken that more seriously>>107343
I don't really know but he said he didn't do it too much anyway, can't be sure though
Amused anon reporting, my dreams are actually very similar! Also, outrageously horny when a sex dream with lots of butt stuff (whyyyyy?) and similarly random. My dreams are usually some type of adventure or quest but nothing makes sense and everything changes all the time and it has the quality of what I imagine an acid trip to be like. We might be dream twins or sisters.
I wish I could recall specific images. Thanks for sharing your funny dreams!
I would never go after my sister's husband. I couldn't hurt her like that. I don't even think he's that attractive either. I get why she likes him, he goes to the gym, has big muscles and he always treats her really well but he's also ginger with a lot of body hair. It does nothing for me which is one of the many reasons this creeps me out.
>Forget the husband and think about watching your sister get pounded–does that not strike you as fucking weird?
The incest element in this does disgust me.
I have thought a lot about why this happened. I've never had a boyfriend and I've never really thought much about sex before. This was my first experience of seeing sex IRL. It's sort of awoken a new interest in me. While watching your sister's husband cum inside her is definitely not something I would recommend, it has made me think about my future. Is it that I'm fantasizing about being with my sister's husband or is it that I'm fantasizing about being in my sister's position? I see that she's happy being in a relationship. I think I'm starting to come round to the idea that I might want that as well.
Couldn't find a relationship general, so I'm sorry if this off topic:
Hi all, I'm a 27 year old woman and I have a lot of difficulty having romantic relationships because I don't have a frame of reference. I've had sex before, even dated a guy for 3 years, but I felt uncomforable the whole time… Just didn't know what to do with myself, if I was doing things right or not. Not just sexually, but just interacting in general.
Like, suppose you met someone, felt you have mutual attraction, went on a date or two, kissed… Then what?How do you know if you actually want to be with that person? What do you do/talk about when you two spend time together? What are the first weeks like? The first year? What do you do together, what do you do individually? How much of yourself do you share and how much do you keep to yourself?
What I'm asking for, I guess, is a ballpark of what a real, fulfilling relationship is like.
Thanks in advance
Finding a good match is imagining a life together.
Like you both make plans for your futures with both of each other in mind. If you want to move out of state or work in a better career, and the person you come home to and paying bills with would be the person you're dating.
You go to the store and half of the time maybe you think of things that you'd like to buy for them or keep in mind things to ask them to buy for you.
Someone to talk to about somewhat embarrassing things and to vent to.
TL;DR It's basically like having roommate who's also your best friend and you guys are sexually and romanticaly attracted to each other so you want to spend the rest of your life with them.
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My bf will cum and then be able to go again right after. We usually have sex 2-3 times with him climaxing. He rests for like 2 minutes and then goes again. We’ve been living together for like two years and he’s always been that way. Just curious if anyone else has experienced this because I always heard men were “one and done” and women were supposed to be the ones climaxing multiple times.
Seconding this question. I've heard about the A spot and G spot yet when I've tried positions to stimulate those areas, it's goddamn near impossible to cum. It feels good as usual but nothing special–not like being eaten out which feels magical from the start.
I've heard working with toys can help but I've also heard that only a small portion of women can actually cum from PIV alone.
I bounce or my bf lifts me up and down. I have a pretty good stamina, but he pretty much ends up lifting me the entire time
At least it is good exercise
Quite honestly… why be in a relationship? You are needing to focus on yourself, and it sounds like you view him as an emotional burden, so why bother?
> I guess I feel bad because Valentine's day is coming up and I feel like my boyfriend is going to try to attempt to do something romantic, but I'm honestly not in the mood at all.
Also, you are making a choice well in advance to "not be in the mood". You are literally setting the expectation for yourself to reject anything he tries to do.
4 months is a long time to go on feeling that way. At some point, it becomes unfair to the other person.
We've been dating for almost 5 years and we live together. We've sort of had a situation like this before where we didn't have sex for half a year but that was mostly because his sister had to live with us for a while, that was a few months into the relationship.
His sex drive isn't that high and we usually only have sex once or twice a month. We still love each other and he's aware of how I've been feeling due to my mental state and I try not to hide it.
I'm just feeling pressured because of Valentine's Day and I guess a majority of people expects to do something romantic. Although, we are planning to cook a nice meal together so that'll be a nice activity.
make sure you have ample foreplay, especially for your first time. focus on relaxing your vagoob. if it's too tight/dry it will hurt. First time sex isn't "supposed" to hurt, it usually only does because you're anxious/not relaxed enough/haven't done enough foreplay with fingers and mouth, and your muscles are tightened and therefore it hurts to have something big(ger than you're used to) inside you. (If you've ever masturbated with a dildo, do the same prep + a little more that you would for that.) Lube is your friend and will make everything feel better and go smoother. Don't worry about how you "should act", just make sure you're enjoying yourself, you're ready for PIV, and you'll be fine. Whoever you're with should be respectful and want to make you comfortable and feel good.
If you want more control over how deep they go/how fast, you should be on top, and lower yourself down as you get used to the feeling. If you want them to take charge, make sure you communicate what feels good and what doesn't, slower/faster, if you need to take a break or go back to fingers/oral, do not be afraid to tell them. It's as much about you feeling good as it is about them, and if you're not enjoying yourself, change it. It's okay to ask to stop at any point.
mistakes to avoid: if they ask you to squeeze their junk, be gentle lol. Avoid using teeth during a beej, if you're doing that. Don't be embarrassed if you queef, I know it seems like something "wrong", but it's completely normal and can be more likely to happen depending on the position (for instance, doggy, or if you've got your hips raised/lifted during missionary.) But again it's totes normal and if they make a bigger deal about it than laughing and carrying on, they suck and you shouldn't fuck em again until they can be more mature about it. I've queefed in a guy's face before and just LAUGHED about it, and we moved on without addressing it. Don't apologize. It's nothing to be embarrassed about and some people are actually into it.
If it's their first time too/they're not experienced, expect it to go by quickly. If you're not satisfied afterwards, tell them, they should be focused on your pleasure too, it's not all about them. Don't let them cum anywhere you're not comfortable with. Insist that they use a condom (I think this is a good rule for first time.)
other than that just relax, have fun, and make sure you pee soon afterwards! It makes it less likely to get a UTI.
piggybacking on what >>108257
said (great advice btw!) I just wanted to stress the importance of communicating with your partner. Air out all of your anxieties, fears, and be 100% honest about how you're feeling. If he's experienced (and cares about you/isn't a total douche) he will take it slow and be gentle and accommodating. If you're both newbies, it'll be an intimate, exploratory learning experience for you both. But if for any reason you get cold feet, or if you feel like your partner is not respecting your boundaries, just say NO. Do not ever force yourself to have sex to please anyone! anyway, have fun and be safe!
Nta but am a virgin and this question has been burning inside of me.
Were/are any anons here super ticklish? Even having someone poke me tickles me and I'm afraid I'll never be able to have successful sex like this. I mean, I don't like the idea of being touched a lot anyway (I would prefer to be in control), but it would be awful if he goes to touch my waist or leg and I start laughing.
Do you just get used to it or have to work around it?
My advice may not be the most unbiased since I'm hyper-sensitive to the point where I actively get off from being tickled, but - even when people don't know about that, they've usually just found it cute. I wouldn't worry about it ruining the moment or anything.
Usually they'll do it more at first and you'll just have a cute little playfight around it before you get back to business, but you could always just tell him to use a much firmer touch because it's too annoying for you.
That's pretty individual, some women can barely fit anything and others can take a foot long lol. Many can't even come from vaginal so it doesn't matter.
Have you tried fingering yourself before to see if that satisfies you? That would be a comparable size.I'd also say "if you like him and otherwise have the same kinks it shouldn't matter" but I know people value different things.
Are you sure he's not underestimating? Dudes with self-esteem issues might do that. My husband was convinced he had a microdick; imagine my surprise the first time we fucked and it was 8".
I had an ex with a 4 incher though and yeah, it was pretty underwhelming. While I don't typically get off to vaginal it feels really good with the right dick. I felt him, but it was a snoozefest and we couldn't do any positions but missionary because otherwise his dick would fall out. Even in doggy.
Get a dick pic or something before sealing the deal, IMO.
God I sure hope so. I really like this guy.>>108440
To give some context, he said he measured it and it was 4" but never checked girth or anything. I don't know when he last checked either. I heard that it might still grow? He's only 18, turning 19 in July.
I have a tiny problem with getting too wet during foreplay. It kinda fucks up sensitivity during the actual act. Is there something I can do about this that's not having a coochie rag on hand and mopping myself?? >>108492
Is he overweight? Guys can usually squeeze out a couple more inches when they lose weight. But I don't think it'll grow in any significant way other than that.
lol it's okay anon. I'm not sure how to explain it to you (I have never had to use lube ever due to this), but a bit of friction feels good, imo.
I can't get aroused at all if water is involved, like I cannot masturbate in the shower, it's just toooo slippery, I can't really feel anything. Being too wet is kinda the same to me I guess.
Watch bj porn or go to a blowjob subreddit (it can be gay or straight) and take notes of what the women/men do. I think there are some guides women wrote up on that site too. Between those two things you can learn how to be good at it.
One thing I picked up from practice is to listen carefully to his breathing to figure out what he likes, and to mix up technique and speed.
Also bj's are alot more pleasant (for you) when he is freshly washed and you are perfectly within your rights to demand he showers/washes up first.
BJ porn usually doesn't look pleasant at all. I personally have a strong gag reflex, I couldn't do half the shit they do there.
Question anon, just go for it. You can always use it as foreplay too, there's no need for him to finish in your mouth.
I am question anon, I do read up on it and read some guides on reddit.
I want to do it as foreplay, but would you do it without a condom?
Not everybody has to be "sexy" in a hollywood kind of way, not every guy likes high heels and lingerie, just be yourself and do what you personally like and this alone will make you sexy and confident.
For general confidence:
Sports and going out of your comfort zone. It sounds stupid and obvious but believe me, I'm 32, I hate myself and I was shy af. I started many things out of my usual comfort zone, started to do sports, I asked a hot guy out (and almost died of embarrassment doing so) and it all worked out. He compliments me a lot and shows me everything I need to know in bed. Just do it anon.
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Sometimes I cry after sex, not because I didn't want it or anything, but because I DID want it. I have a bit of past baggage so I guess I feel ashamed and embarrassed, like "well, I enjoy sex, guess I'm just a slut." It's especially bad after I initiate/ask for something specific. How do I let myself just enjoy sex. Damn
Don't know if this is any help, but grinding on a pillow did for me. Also dancing is good, specially moves involving hips and thighs. Have you ever tried arab dancing? It's also good to get muscle tone and gain stamina.
And lastly, have confidence in what your body can do, anon!
my boyfriend has a humongously high sex drive to the point where it actively makes me not want to have sex. he's a fantastic guy and a fantastic boyfriend but it's becoming a problem at least for me, thinking about having sex with him makes me want to cry out of frustration because it's just too much and I can't seem to do anything about the problem.
he's had an incredibly active sex life since he first lost his virginiy. all of his dreams are sex dreams, he gets very easily turned on when I'm with him even if I'm not doing something sexual at all, he has very and I mean very wild and rough fantasies that he sometimes propositions me, most including rapeplay (in the fantasy I like it, according to him), lots of cumming, very intense and rough sex like something straight out of a hentai (ironically, he doesn't watch it and only knows about it through me), he always wants to sext (I hate sexting). masturbating doesn't even do it for him, it doesn't satisfy his need to fuck, I have to manually make him cum and even then he'll still be horny again hours later.
I was enthusiastic about sex when I first started, but now it's something I find pretty average even if I do like it, and if I feel horny I just masturbate bc honestly dealing with him when I'm horny has become a massive chore so I just masturbate in secret and don't tell him (he gets kinda pissy if I jack off "without his help"). And I am also into a few perverted and sick fantasies, but most of what he propositions me makes me sick and repulsed (he recently told me a fantasy where he's raping me with my consent and I piss myself so as punishment he mouth rapes me and I choke. all of this made me sick and very disgusted, I had to tell him to stop telling me). he's been a good sport about the issue of my low sex drive and has tried earnestly to control himself and to not pressure me into doing things I don't want to do. he feels genuinely bad if he makes me uncomfortable and has stopped talking so much about sex as of late bc he knows it wears me down, but at this point we have tried everything under the sun and his sex drive is uncontrollable. when we go a long time without seeing each other or fucking he'll get blue balls and practically sperg about sex nonstop. at this point I wish I could just get him to fuck other girls so he's not the sex monster he is around me when he's horny, but he's not even turned on by other girls, it's just me, I'm the only one who makes him horny or makes him want to cum. I'm so fucking sick of this I'm on the verge of tears as i write this, when he's not horny out of his mind he's the best fucking boyfriend ever but it's been almost 3 years of a relationship and I'm starting to realize I can't fix this I can't make this issue go away. he doesn't even want to go to therapy for it bc he doesn't think is a problem, and I don't even know what it is bc he isn't a porn addict or addicted to sex he's just really horny for me. it's not nice anymore it's a nightmare. please help me
I'm really sorry to hear this anon.
I feel like deep down you know this can't continue. He's already "tried to decrease" his sexual drive and even that has failed, so the only other "option" left is for you to raise yours, which is impossible at this point.
I truly think his sexuality has poisoned yours and made you retreat into yourself. How could you not really, when you're constantly being penetrated, groped, prodded, and forcibly inserted into someone else's fantasies? That doesn't make anyone feel sexy.
Your boyfriend is an immature, selfish and poor lover who doesn't really care about your pleasure. You've already begun going down the path of resentment because you're already doing things that you disagree with or are "just putting up with".
You need to have a come to Jesus talk and make him rework his entire idea of sex (ie. No penis in vagina sex for a month, no groping and grabbing at you, no indulging any of his fetishes) or you need to break up if he can't even attempt the above.
So he's a horrible boyfriend for having needs and a high sex drive? If his drive hasn't changed in the three years you have been together, he's not an asshole.
You're saying that he's annoyed that you pleasure yourself alone, and honestly I feel where he's coming from. That's lack of intamacy and a good healthy sex life is essential to a working relationship.. And a good healthy sex life looks different in each relationship.
What I'm saying is, you're not sexually compatable and that's going to be an issue that won't go away on it's own and - Will- be detrimental to your relationship in the long run anyway. Three years is a long time, are you worried perhaps because you're too comfortable? It might need to be a bandaid that needs ripped off. You can find another person that is A) Sexuality on your level and B) treats you well and you enjoy their time just as much, if not more, than your current partner.
Rapeplay is a completely normal an d common kink. The basis for kink is consent, if he was raping her that's a different story and that is not okay.
To some people yes, sex is a need. To anon's boyfriend, it sounds very much to be a need.
Sex is not a need, what the fuck.
Are you seriously implying that people literally
die without sex?
Honestly what the fuck is wrong with you, and why are you calling the mental and physical torture that anon is going through "sex"?
Anon's bf is not just performing "sex". Isn't sex supposed to benefit both partners or at least involve them equally? Anon literally stated that she does things to hold him off, to get things over with, how the fuck is that true consent?
You are trying to minimize the damage done to anon by saying "it's just
sex!", "It's just
a rape fetish!", instead of actually having compassion for her. You are disgusting.
>>109121>has violent, degrading sexual fantasies>not a porn or sex addict
no anon, he's a typical hypersexual, pornsick degenerate male
where do you think he gets his ideas from?
He may think he doesn't have a problem, but it legitimately sounds like he has a sex addiction and needs help from a professional. Have you made it clear you're not enjoying this and it makes you uncomfortable? If so, he is completely disrespecting your boundaries and using you for his pleasure only, and that is NOT ok.
There has to be some change here, or it isn't going to get better. If it's not fixing these problems, I hate to say it, it's breaking up before the resentment worsens.
1. Are you his first?
2. How far have the two of you gone? Making out, nudes, holding hands?
The thing about starfish is it’s not just the act of receiving penetration. It’s that there is an obvious lack of enthusiasm/enjoyment from the female or any sort of validation provided to male whatsoever. I think with a few easy things you can make yourself feel more involved with the act.
To combat feelings of “starfish” in male-on-top positions, here are my suggestions:
>lots of touch
If missionary, grip him back. Run your hands down his back and sides. I wrap my legs around my bf and he loves that. You can grind back too in missionary but if he’s a lot bigger than you it can be annoying to both parties I think. If it’s doggy, there’s not a lot you can do. Refer below for advice in this position. If you are on your stomach and he is on top of you, you can usually grip his thigh or wrist. I do this and gently squeeze or caress (not sure if all guys like this tho)
Don’t be completely silent. When my bf and I first started having sex I made this mistake. 2 years in ive become a lot more comfortable and I can tell he enjoys it more. Soft moans, gentle sighs, or just flat out saying you like it are really important. You don’t have to get super vulgar (maybe he likes it?) but it’s nice to talk a little dirty. Say his name softly too, but don’t overdo that one cause it can be weird lol.
I almost always go down on my bf before sex. Giving a bj is hard and the right guy appreciates you putting in the effort. I find doing this balances out the feeling of me “just taking it” during regular sex.
>switch it up
Try some girl on top positions occasionally. My bf is pretty dominant but once in awhile I ride that d HARD
Lastly, don’t overthink it too much. Guys don’t experience sex in the same way we do. The overall act itself is satisfying where as we seem to be more satisfied by the little nuances and intricacies of it. I was very similar to you in that my current relationship was my first sexual one. With time, it just becomes second nature.
Yeah, I'd be his first. Gave him a handjob once. Declined a BJ. He massages me and rubs my clit fairly often. He does seem to enjoy just touching me, but hasn't gone any further. Thankfully he seems serious about going to therapy, otherwise I'd be more worried.>>109456
They sure are willing to pay a lot of money for pictures though. It's crazy.
>>109138>Sex is not a need, what the fuck.>Are you seriously implying that people literally die without sex?
NAYRT but sex is, psychologically, a very real and important need. People do not literally die without sex, but they very often develop mental illnesses from it (see the entire incel community). It shows an utter lack of understanding of psychology to imply that it ISN'T a need. It's literally what we evolved to do.
I DO agree with most of your other post, but this part is incorrect. Purely platonic relationships do not develop into healthy relationships - humans need intimacy and social bonding. Aside from the very small minority of asexual people, you WILL experience mental distress from lack of sex. What you're implying is the equivalent of saying that space isn't a NEED because you won't literally die from being confined in a 3x6 foot jail cell for prolonged periods of time.
Have you seen a gyno about this?
What exactly hurts (labia minors, entrance, cervix, …) and what kind of pain (cramping, stinging, soreness, …)
There’s a bunch of possible sources of pain during sex.
You might not be wet enough (as >>109484
kinda suggested: try to use lube if you haven’t), you might get tiny tears as others have described, you might not be able to relax (at this point maybe because you expect it to hurt) or even have vaginismus (can you insert a dildo/vibrator, your fingers or tampons?), he might be hitting your cervix (which is painful for a lot of women) or you might even have endometriosis.
That’s just the few things I can think of off the top of my head.
If it’s not easily to be solved by using lube or changing positions, I definitely would go see a gyno about it. None of us can tell you with certainty what it is.
>>109483>People do not literally die without sex, but they very often develop mental illnesses from it (see the entire incel community)
You have no idea what you're talking about. Incels develop mental illnesses because if a male is still a virgin by the age of 18 he's seen as a loser, and do you think women want to fuck a 30 year old virgin?
People are obsessed with sex because males are taught that they're worthless if they don't fuck 100 girls, and women are taught that they're worthless if men don't find them attractive. Our society is fucked up.
Sure, people would still desire sex if there wasn't so much pressure to do it as fast and as much as possible, but they wouldn't be so fucking desperate that it becomes a need.
The difference here is that taking up more space isn't removing another person's autonomy to fulfill it.
And this coming from a khv "femcel" in her twenties. The only way to satisfy people who can't fuck is to force others to fuck them, which just isn't humane. Do I want to fuck some qt I see at school really badly, which is exacerbated by my abnormally high libido? Absolutely, but I wouldn't demand to have him submit his body to me because MUH NEED TO FUCK YOUR ASSHOLE. He's an individual and it's understandable that he, or anyone else I want, doesn't want to fuck me. Just as if I got lucky and dated a man I wouldn't expect him to put out on demand and would just masturbate to satisfy the "need."
Saying rape is excusable and to be expected isn't where it's at, anon.
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That's so good to hear anon. Good luck moving forward from this!
You're lucky to have such an understanding sister. I'm sure another anon will say negative things about it instead, but I'm actually amazed. Don't let stuff come between you guys again!>>110823
If you don't share a room then it should be fine to do it in bed, but the shower is a normal place too
I think that went about as well as it could have. Thank you for the update. So…did you get a dildo?
Think about the things you like about your sister's husband and keep them in mind for your own mate search.
Men can have a difficult time maintaining erection when they're feeling anxious, my bf couldn't stay hard for the first 2 month of our relationship and it was because he had performance anxiety and he was very intimidated by me. It just resolved itself with time like >>110861
I know this makes me a bad person and I am sorry this happened to you but this did give me a laugh. It's good to hear that it ended on a positive note.>>110829>You're lucky to have such an understanding sister
I think it's part of being a big sister. I was always the one that was answering questions about periods and boys when my sisters were teenagers. I guess it's less embarrassing than asking mom.
can I ask what do you even get a strap on ?
I mean where is the pleasure for you
not particularly petite in fact I'm in pretty good shape
my bf barely if ever works our and is 2 inches shorter then me
Sounds like a serious problem and not something an anon can give a bit of quick fix advice for.
But other than what >>111829
said, maybe read some feminist books like Beauty and Misogyny. And remember that somehow the most stinky of men usually don't have a problem showing their bodies to women during sex.
Damn, is it a body weight thing then? Is he kind of heavyset/one of those people with some natural muscle ("""mesomorph""" if you will)?
Asking because I've experienced having more upper body strength than short scrawny guys. Unless genetic differences in muscle fiber or whatever are in effect here.
(original post was obviously goofing btw, but now I'm serious)
I have to get over being completely traumatized by a very abusive
ex boyfriend who would compare me to his exes and other girls anytime I sent him pictures of myself, during sex, or just randomly really, but also beg me for sex and claim I was abusing him if I didn't fufill his needs despite claiming my body turns him off and how he's fucked sexy perfect skin pear shaped models before and I should be ashamed of myself
I can't enjoy sex or anything pertaining to my body without feeling like I'm only there to be judged and pulled apart, I can't even go to parks or swimming because of my crippling insecurity, I become instantly unaroused the second someone touches me or I expose myself to somebody, it makes me terrified they'll just find something wrong with me and I'll just be another disappoint who belongs in the trash. I honestly don't know what to do at this point outside of killing myself because I feel like even if I pursue my career and hobbies my body will be a disappointment to someone and nobody will ever be able to focus on anything except for how bad my body is and how better everyone is
The fucked up part is I don't even think my body is that bad, I'm a good weigh, have hips and a round butt, perkish boobs that are a nice size and good nipples and an average looking vagina, I just know people are just constantly judging me
So if he wanted to fuck skinny pear shaped models why was he with you? He was free to leave if it was that important to him.
It wasn't you, it was something else he was dissatisfied about, likely his own insecurity since he clearly wanted to feel superior over you,otherwise he wouldn't say those things.
I realize that, it's just very hard for me to focus on any sexual activity without feeling like they're comparing me to others, he'll be in the middle of fucking me and randomly mention how his exes butt was bigger or was tighter or whatever, I'm not with him anymore thank God but it has damaged me for life and I truly do not believe I'll ever be able to enjoy any sort of intimacy with anyone ever again>>111864
I don't, I'm very poor, my life's a mess
I'm so sorry that happened anon.
Idk if this will help, but if you can't fix it in your head to see yourself as cute and know that's how other people see you…set out to terrify and disgust them. I still struggle with this because I'm objectively ugly and the right person does make me feel a bit bad still, but most of the time I like proudly disgusting others. If they're going to be judgemental over your imperfection then be an eyesore to them and ruin their day. It's what they deserve, absolute cunts.
Not exactly - it’s not necessary - it’s more the pressure and rubbing than actually sucking
although feel free to suck if that’s your thing.
You don't suck on it. The best way to help with kissing and with blow jobs is to consider is is a mimic of sex. Your mouth is mimicking the vagina. So you are creating a nice wet hole for the dick to go in, and unless you want him to face fuck you (which is among my worst sexual experiences, do not recommend) you are mimicking his pumping action of thrusting into you, but slower. He gets to be lazy and have the PIV experience without doing anything at all.
Small, warm friendly hole, cover teeth with your lips. Coverage of the whole dick if possible, or put your hand on it too to add to the feeling, and remember the top (end of penis) is the extra sensitive bit, so be careful and generous with that bit.
This though, it definitely depends. My bf actually pointed out my lack of sucking-action as well.
I mean… there are literally flesh lights that’ll create a vacuum for pleasure. Without at least a little suction it feels like thrusting into the air (or at least so I’ve been told).
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the technique i've found to work best, is, so basically you're trying to extend the length of your mouth with the hand to feel like a vagoo. right now, if you cup your hand around your mouth and breathe in, you'll feel a suction. if there was a dick there, you'd wrap your hand around it, keeping your mouth on your hand, and suck. this creates a vaccuum effect, with saliva to fill in the cracks between your fingers, by sealing off airflow with your hand. hope that makes sense
i just never enjoyed it. last time i did it was like, September of last year honestly. it's not fun for me, i don't know what i'm doing and i don't care enough to try to orgasm. i've never orgasmed either, though i've been close. i'll admit i was raised catholic so i don't know much about my anatomy. that doesn't make me asexual though, i like getting off, i just have some confusion surrounding it i guess. he has gotten me close to orgasming before though, in video calls.
being as unexperienced as i am, i just really need some advice on how to tell an inexperienced guy what to do when he goes down on me. we're both going to be very confused lol.
i could have worded it better. what i mean is like, i know my anatomy, but i don't know what to do to reach orgasm.
and nothing is stopping me from asking. that's why i just asked this thread.
>>112737>How to give someone direction when they're performing sexual acts on you
Be kind and give clear direction, that's really it. If he is the kinda person that can't take feedback at face value, try to prime him before sex happens. At the end of the day your partner has to
be able to listen to your feedback bc it's your body and the whole point of going down on you is to get you off. A partner that takes offense to feedback on sex of all things is someone that needs to be booted, experienced or not.
There’s really no ‘he needs to do this to get you off’-manual-kind of answer, if that’s what you’re looking for.
Different things work for different people. Some girls like extensive tongue action, others like some suction, some enjoy soft nibbling, some like to be penetrated while being eaten out - and some don’t.
Best advice to give you is to let him know when something he does feels good. (But obviously as well if something doesn’t.)
But most importantly: Don’t expect to orgasm. Don’t plan out every single step. Just don’t put that kind of pressure on yourself and him. It’s your first time. The first time usually isn’t that great. Even if you’ve had sex plenty times having sex with someone new is almost never as good as it gets over time.
Just… don’t expect too much from it.
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Well done, Anon!
You deserve a medal for that.
How could you infer that from how little she (he??? i'm not ruling anything out) wrote?
Get your mind out of the gutter.
Well, I have never made a guy cum with my mouth. And I dont know how long he should last – if he lasts a short time – does that means he's bad in bed? Or am I just that good?
And I'm 22. So there you go. We learn something new everyday.
Don't feel insecure! If you both had fun and it was enjoyable it doesn't really matter.
Try not to measure yourself by arbitrary standards of how long he lasts or how 'good' you are. If it works for both of you then it's fine.
How quickly guys cum depends on their jerking off habits but also general preferences.
Some guys cum easily from blowjobs, some don’t. The first guy I ever gave head to came in like 3-5 minutes as well and I didn’t know shit about what I was doing and there probably were even teeth involved. My current boyfriend has issues coming from it even if I deepthroat him. Like, he‘ll literally shake from pleasure but still won’t come. And he‘d had this with all girls. He needs forever to come, due to death grip.
It’s just really not as simple as>he comes fast I must be really good>he doesn’t come fast I must suck
i appreciate the aot gif thx anon, kek.>>112782
as a clarification, i’m 18. ik ik late in the dick sucking game, i just know different guys react differently and i was a bit nervous so ig i sounded naive and young. whoopsies.>>112785
idk if this would help. but deep-throating and sucking at the tip seemed to do the trick? that was when he came at least. eye contact helps as well. but if you both equally enjoy it, i don’t think there is anything wrong in him not cumming anon!!
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I am requesting advice on, well, boob jobs. Boob fuck? Idk what the formal name for it is. I don't watch porn and I have one sexual partner (my husband) so I'm retarded when it comes to this stuff.
I have like a size b-c cup and my husband has requested twice for me to give him a boobjob(?). Yesterday, he asked if I had some kind of tightfitting bra to squeeze my boobs together. The answer was no, but I tried a bra anyway and it was impossible for him to get his wee in there. I don't have huge boobs but I still have some boob so we were able to do it while I was pushing my breasts together, but it was pretty uncomfortable and I am wondering if there is a type of bra that pushes your boobs together but still allows for the wee to enter and not get chaffed in the process. Idk if such a thing exists.
Tell him to man up and use his own hands if he’s so desperate to rub his cock on you. Jesus, how do you think this is your problem?
Also your husband sounds like a degenerate. Tell him to watch less porn, and maybe he’ll enjoy sex more.
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My boyfriend has brought up the idea of making a mold of his penis so I can use as a dildo?
Recently he's been super busy at work and not home until late while I'm asleep so we haven't had too much sex since (we used to have sex very frequently every week but it has sadly slow down because of our schedules). Anyone have any experiences with this? Would it just be easier to get a dildo that's the same size as him or . . ? I'm not against the idea but a bit "meh" on it.
Make him do it himself.
Seriously, I was in the same boat as you. My boyfriend asked and I was super embarrassed because my boobs weren't "big" enough to do it myself. I felt uncomfy trying to do it alone. He suggested he could hold them and fuck into them and it worked.
Just lube up your chest a bit and he can do the rest tbh.
Anon, I'm a 30FF and my bf asked me to try it. I have huge tits that could easily do it and yet it sucked. It was awkward for me and was not pleasurable for my boyfriend at all. Like you'd have to squeeze your tits super hard to make a tight space, hope for no boob sweat and then maybe lube it up. It's just a porn thing and for regular, normal people sex it's better to just stick his dick in your vagina where both of you can enjoy it and there's no effort to make a hole out of a weird crevice to fufill some sort of 'porn' fantasy.
Not worth it, tell your husband to get over it since pornstars do actually pleasurable stuff like .01% time and tit-jobs aren't one of them.
nta but F is a real bra size. FF isn't except in Australia and the UK.
But I just assumed 30FF anon was Australian or British.
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I'd try a bra shaper/dirndl bra, I guess, but I've had the most success with one of us just using hands. Let the hand form the 3rd/4th side of the enclosure and avoid contorting yourself in a way that's painful. Basically press his penis to your sternum, and any breast that ends up on either side is extra.
I've been with my boyfriend for around 3 years. All is good but I've always found he's very closed off when it comes to the subject of sex. It's like he gets uncomfortable and won't talk to me about it when I want to.
When we started going out I always felt the need to know if he had any particular kink or wanted to know what kind of porn he liked, etc. He always replied stuff like "I don't know, the usual", and I always got a bit annoyed because I felt he was not being truthful. I even asked him once jokingly when was the last time he jerked off or watched porn once and he got a bit annoyed and told me he didn't need to share EVERYTHING about him with me. So he's clearly uncomfortable with the subject.
The issue is that I find after three years I can't really talk about sex with him, or how to improve it, because I always feel guilty about putting him in this place, and even if I push myself and say "fuck it, he should talk about it" I'm afraid of making him self conscious and ruining the mood. We had a short period of a couple of weeks were he performed badly because of a talk we had about me not reaching an orgasm. He's clearly not very confident in himself and I don't want to hate him for it but help him.
I just want to be able to be kinky with him and to feel more open to ask for stuff during sex, or feel like I can dress somehow and he wont make fun or me or whatever. I have the suspicion that if I act dirty he'll go along with it, but I find it hard to take this step because I'm also pretty shy. I'm aware talking about it in a serious tone is a bad idea, because it just creates an uncomfortable situation for both. I guess my best course of action is to be more talkative and ask him to do what I want and force him to be more dirty? I just find it hard since I always needed some encouragement from the other person to be able to do it.
I really love him and I don't want this to be the thing that separates us, because I do feel that we could change it. It doesnt' help that I also have a really hard time reaching an orgasm, and not with him but with every guy I've been with (I think I've had orgasms like three times in total). And no, I don't usually ask for help after they come because I just feel awkward when they do it. I can't get in the mood.
Careful anon, someone here will probably read this and accuse him of watching cp and snuff which is why he doesn't want to talk about it.
But really, was he raised religiously or something? Seems he feels guilt about it. Or is he just generally shy/closed off?
Just wanted to clarify it's not once per night, I usually see him over the weekend, so we fuck once per week.
Also, if he's into something kinky, I don't think I'll mind, unless it's really bad like fecal matter or chocking me to death. I know some anons are going to accuse him of that, I've had friends joke about the same thing, but after three years I'm confident he's just not the typical dude that's horny all the time and wants to sexualize everything. He's just very chill and laid back. Which is good, but it can get frustrating sometimes for me since I would like rougher sex.
>>113283>it can get frustrating sometimes for me since I would like rougher sex
Tell him that then.
From reading this I get a feeling that you’re being too pushy or trying to talk about it when younger frustrated or when you’re actually in a sexual situation.
I get that you’re frustrated. But try not to force him into something he doesn’t want. Try telling him ‘Hey, I would really like if we could try this. How do you feel about it/Is that something you would enjoy, too?’
>I'm aware talking about it in a serious tone is a bad idea, because it just creates an uncomfortable situation for both.
It’s not a bad idea.
You’re both adults (I assume) and this is a serious issue that might lead to your breakup eventually. So you need to have a serious talk about it.
I agree with you, I just feel I've tried several times and always end the conversation feeling more frustrated. I remember once I got mad at him, turned my back and he was content not talking to me for over an hour until I talked again. I know it can sound petty too, but I just feel he should be able to talk about this type of stuff after 3 years. We always end up with me telling him he needs to break down that wall and him agreeing, but not really trying anything after that.
I know if I ask would you like to try this etc, I won't get a passionate reply, it will be like an "ok, if you want" and I just get annoyed that I don't know if he wants to or is feeling obligated to do it because I asked?
I know I have little confidence too. I would like to initiate a conversation and feel like we took a step together, or at least get a reply that wasn't so lukewarm from him. I've asked did you enjoy that, did you like how I did that and I get such an awkward "yes" from him that I can't really build up much confidence. I thnk he enjoys the sex, he's just so bad at talking about it.
Take it slow and don't get upset if you can't make the key fit the lock on the firs try. Neither of you are at fault if it hurts too much. You can always try again another time so just take that moment and enjoy it for what it is. You can use your hands and mouth and have a really nice time regardless of if penis in vagina happens. I was in that exact situation and it took a couple of tries before penetration could happen. It did hurt but only for a little while. Take it slow and be gentle. And don't expect you or the guy to perform amazingly. You are both literally fucking noobs who need to git gut with practise.
Good luck and have fun with it, Anon! :)
He used to watch porn often but said that he doesn't get off to porn as much anymore and prefers pictures of me/fantasies he has involving me. I would say he masturbates at least one or twice a week.
I guess I'll talk to him more about his preferences and see where that goes. Thanks!
I feel you. I have this weird issue where I‘ll get super turned on by reading sexual stories or sometimes watching porn, but in real life it just feels really weird.
Idk maybe it’s because I’ve never been really sexually attracted to my partners (even though I did love them) or if I’m not interested in actual sex with other people. Or maybe I’ve built it up in my head so much that it’s impossible for reality to ever meet my expectations.
I don’t know what it is, but it sure as hell is weird to be really horny and fantasize about sex but never get any pleasure from actual sex.
bc men are objectively sexually unattractive unless u add a level of self delusion on top. imagining sex is always more pleasurable than sex due to the physical limitations of a male.
the concept of a man is more appealing than the real thing
, therefore the real thing can never compete with masturbation+fantasy but we still try anyway
Speak for yourself.
And don't start a sexual relationship with someone you aren't attracted to, wtf.
>>114216>men are objectively sexually unattractive>objectively
My god, the man-hate on this website is out of this world. idk if I love it or not.
There are over 7 billion people on this planet, anon. Wild that you think none of them can naturally be attracted to men. You really are pornsick, same level as men who find women with anything less than cartoonish proportions unappealing.
I've only ever had one sexual partner, but I've only ever felt aroused while reading/watching porn so idk. Never in real life.
But the thing is, there is no way i'm "porn sick" because I hardly watch or read porn in the first place.
and before incels come in talking about how it's hard to get laid, i'd be fucking other men on grindr
You should be comfortable mentioning to him your sexual inexperience. If he's "turned off" and wants to ignore it, then he's an asshole and you shouldn't be doing it with him because he only cares about himself and his own pleasure.
Be open and honest and just have fun. It will all come naturally.
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I owe you all an update as Its been a month now and your advice >>111899
has dramatically changed our sex lives>get him to do push-ups and sit-ups until he can't do another one and then wrestle since he's ok with making it fairer. It's basically nerfing your strength to try to fight with tired muscles.
the first time we tried it like this It felt like a whole new world,he tried to be aggressive and hold me down but I overpowered him and got loose easily and then I held him down.I grabbed his shoulders and pulled him in so he couldn't get loose, I used my legs to thrust into him as much as I pleased while in missionary.all the while he was squirming and getting embarrassed,I was also hissing some obscene comments in his ear that I had practiced like "be a good little boy" and "you're going to get fucked by me, and you're going to like it." this was his first time being in a submissive role and since then our relationship on all levels is still the same but in bed I'm taking the more dominant role more often and we have also changed the rules a little bit,Instead of Push ups to failure were doing a set number of Push ups thats slowly Increasing (currently he's at 35 Push ups)
this whole thing Is making him workout a lot more as before he never used to exercise
Are you sure you're straight? Men are not objectively sexually unattractive, plenty of women are very sexually attracted to men, all kind of men can turn on straight women, some like fat men, some like muscular men, some like cute skinny men… if ZERO men attract you or turn you on, maybe you're a lesbian and you definitely shouldn't torture yourself with straight sex if you don't want it or enjoy it. >>114237
You don't HAVE to have boring PIV even in an heterosexual relationship, learn to have boundaries and refuse painful, uncomfortable or unpleasurable sex. Demand to be eaten out or fingered until you come and if the dude refuse just drop him, life is to short to have shitty painful sex, you'll end up hating your partner.
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What kind of sex drive do you consider as normal?
I am pretty sure that I am just overthinking, since I came back to my s/o after two months without seeing him, but…
Thing is, I love him so much that I end up being aroused around him so easily. It's been 2 days since I'm back and we've been having sex 7 times now, thanks to me. But I can't help it and remind myself that before I had to leave for these 2 months due to family issues, we've always had sex at least 3 or 4 times a day. I am always the one to start and he loves it alot, but at the same time I am worried that it might end up affecting us at some point because he works alot. (He oftenly feels tired from work when he arrives) But God I can't help but always think of lewd stuff quite often when we are together. I don't mean that all i do is just hop on his cock, our relationship is going very well, but still…!
I might be overthinking because I have gone through alot of stress lately, but oof.
tell him this exactly, first of all
then try experimenting with dick insertion. have him just put the tip in or one inch or so and feel around. you can also try to show him how to finger you
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Men only turn me on if they're fictional and effeminate, though it's kind of going away too.
I have attempted to have a straight relationship after years of flicking bean to 2d and lemme tell you, the sensations down there are absolutely nothing like what I'm used to while masturbating. It's incredibly tedious and underwhelming even though he's something most women would consider an attentive lover. I'm also not physically attracted to my boyfriend but I think I love him as a person or something. He's not a part of my fantasies or even something I think about when he's banging me. In fact, him reminding me of his presence makes me go arid. Most of the time I genuinely cannot tell the difference between attractive and ugly 3d men because they serve as an obstacle to arousal. I feel like a lot of female attraction to men is based on utility rather than genuine desire.
Anyone else has a similar experience?
Anon…you just aren't sexually attracted to men, it sounds like. Have you ever been attracted to women? If I were you (and also attracted to ladies) I'd just go that route if you split with your bf. By all means stay with him if he's emotionally and romantically fulfilling though.
>I feel like a lot of female attraction to men is based on utility rather than genuine desire
Oddly I think media does portray this often (men are subjects, women are objects that the man does sex to) but it doesn't apply to all of us. I know I get mad aroused just being in physical proximity to the type of men I find attractive lmao, and anons here objectify men often.
Also are you the anon in the men-you're-ashamed-to-say-you'd-fuck thread (I think?) who also was going on about being unsure of when men are ugly? I was the one who replied saying men are swamps lol. They generally aren't very aesthetically pleasing in the same way women are, but they can be/are sexy and appealing to the average straight or bi woman.
Any anons try maca root supplements? Do you take them daily or just before sex?
I'm looking into trying them for libido and energy levels because I've had a lot of trouble with getting tired all the time in the middle of the day and want to try using less caffeine.
I know one thing people warn about is if you have hypertension but afaik I don't. I do take Lexapro 5mg (which I also want to stop partially because it's made it take longer for me to orgasm and makes me less horny but I don't like to tell anyone that when I ask about any of this irl…) I want to taper off that but I'm scared of the withdrawal symptoms and don't know what to do if it turns out I really do need to stay on it, but at such a low dosage…I figure it can't be that bad.
I just want my old sex drive back, it feels like I used to have more of spontaneous one instead of only receptive and now it's harder to get me in the mood too. I thought women get more libido toward their 30s so I don't think it's my age, and my bf is super attractive to me. The only good thing is I know I'm really lucky because I'm only mildly affected and have a "normal" female sex drive but I used to be kind of voracious before I got on SSRIs.
If anyone has recommendations for pills that are good please comment! Or if you found something that works better or know anything about SSRI sexual dysfunction, that's good too. I'm on a budget though too lol.>>114268
You might need to be more aroused. What the other anon said about experimenting with positions and toys, and telling him what you told us, is a good idea too. For some women having him come in from behind at a certain angle stimulates the right spot but it's personal how you enjoy it. I've noticed it's easier for me to "hit the spot" with a dildo because I know where to go, so your bf needs you to give him that guidance somehow.
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Swamp anon here, and I meant in terms of women being softer/more rounded/less hairy/generally having less extreme facial proportions.
I'm also not complaining at all about the men that I do
find attractive because, uh, I find them attractive. In fact I'm a hobby artfag and almost exclusively draw such men since they please me so much visually lol.
And I actually think swamps are aesthetically pleasing, what I said in my original post is that they're nice but not in the same, widely accepted way as a spring (woman). The way peat moss sits on the water and the overgrowth of plants can look beautiful, just not in the same delicate way that a spring does. It was a metaphor to clarify my point. That the female form is more conventionally accepted as nice to look at, but the male form also is…just not in the same way.
I think the average man can be nice looking if he takes care of himself in terms of dress/hair care/skincare/etc.
And now I'm wondering what you find attractive though. Is it soft femmeboys? Or chiselled greek statue types?
(not the Anon you're replying to - I'm the one who doesn't understand which men are hot)
I like twinky types, or so I think. Most of my crushes were 2d anyway so idk. And I used to masturbate to women exclusively when I was young, real 3d ones.
It just sounds like you're heavy female-leaning bisexual. I can't speak for lesbians (I'm a bi), but they may claim you if you've never been physically attracted to a real, 3D man.
Regardless, I'm sure it's become apparent that many women who are attracted to men don't feel the same way about them that you do.
I honestly don’t mean to sound rude or anything but it kinda feels like you didn’t really write what I wrote
>you can also try to show him how to finger you
How am I supposed to show him when I can’t do it myself? As I said:>I‘m pretty sure I can feel my g-spot when fingering myself but stimulating it really does nothing at all for me and pressing or rubbing harder just hurts.
And it’s nothing different when he does it.
>then try experimenting with dick insertion. have him just put the tip in or one inch or so and feel around.>experimenting with positions and toys
I/we did and do. As I said. We tried any position we could think of but nothing really feels anywhere near as good.
>so your bf needs you to give him that guidance somehow
Yeah, again: I can’t even find it myself, that’s the issue.
Arousal isn’t the problem either. I can edge myself to the point of being able to come from just touching my clit but actually rubbing my g-spot does still do nothing or hurt. I don’t know if I’m just pressing too hard or maybe not hard enough? How much pressure should I apply?
I was hoping that maybe anyone knows anything else besides those obvious tips. Like… I don’t know. I’m desperate.
As I said, don’t mean to come off as rude and I really appreciate your input. But… it’s basically exactly what I said didn’t work for me.
I'm one of the anons and I did read your post, just honestly our recommendations are probably the only ones worth anything. I can't come from penetration/haven't ever come from it, I've tried but just hasn't happened. A lot of women just can't.
You can keep experimenting but honestly it may just not be something your body likes or can do. It sounds like you may have to try going around what you said does feel nice (when your bf goes flaccid) and replicate it at other times, but it sounds like you may have tried that already. Maybe you need a gentler touch.
I hope you can figure things out anon!
>>114249>35 push ups
I'm really happy for you, and nerfing him is a great idea. He's definitely only going to get stronger, of course, but I don't see why nerfing wouldn't continue to work.>>114319
Ntayrt but if your bf is game, you could try some semi-flaccid penetration in that position. You might need to get him a little harder to get him in there and then have him stay still so he gets softer.
Do you know how high your testosterone is? My gyno said that it has absolutely no bearing on female sexual desire, but that sounds fishy. Can men and women really be that different if its such a sex drive boost for men?
I would be checking if my test is low since I have no sexual desire/drive at all. I know that sexual desire can have many causes but of the ones I've seen none of them seem to apply to me.
I was on different types of BC pills throughout my life, but don't remember what the hormone combinations were exactly when I was a teenager. Currently, I'm on pills that contain 0,020 mg of Ethinylestradiolum and 0,075 mg of Gestodenum, if that helps in any way.
I still feel sexual needs sometimes, but prefer masturbating before having sex. I know sex is meant to bring you closer to your partner, but the problem is I think I never actually felt like it does that to me. I got sexually exploited by an older man when I was quite young and it probably affected how I view sex and intimacy. And the older you get, the more aware of these things you become, I guess, and it's hard to find motivation for having sex with someone when it doesn't feel like it does much for you.
I was late to start having sex (lost virginity at 23) , and still have a lot of sexual dysfunction at 25. I have literally never in my life gotten wet, can't orgasm by myself or with a partner, have pain during certain positions, and I think I dissociate a lot during sex- I'm not sure if that's really the right term but a lot of the time I feel like I let sex happen to me, and then kinda come to and feel freaked out that I've been having sex but don't feel like I was mentally present- like I've suddenly woken up, even though I was awake the whole time. Even when I am enjoying it, it feels like it's a completely different persona, that I feel a bit disgusted and embarrassed of my behaviour afterwards.
I've been sleeping with a guy casually for about 6 months and about 50%+ of the times we have sex I have to take a break in the middle in order to not freak out, or I just start crying randomly during. (He is always nice about it, stops as soon as I say so, checks in on me during, but it still happens) and today when I was recounting that I had a freak out with him recently, and was wondering why he still wants to sleep with me seeing as my problems make it difficult a lot of the time, she mentioned that he probably thinks I have had some kind of serious sexual trauma. I think all of my behaviour/problems put together do point to that, but I've never been a victim of abuse or anything like that, and I can't explain why I react the way I do.
I guess I'm not so much looking for hard advice, just wondering if any other anons have similar experiences or insight? I just don't know why I'm like this.
That sounds rough. Even though you don't have a ton of experience, does it seem like this guy is just shit at sex? Maybe he's just not very receptive to his partner's pleasure. But I guess it seems unlikely that every person you've been with is unable to make you wet or orgasm.
Even if it's not sexual trauma, if you have other mental health issues that could be affecting the way you view yourself/sex and causing you to feel disgusted and detached from it. Something like religious guilt (if you are/were religious) or even internalized misogyny could slightly come into play. I don't experience feelings as extreme as you, but I only lost my virginity and started having sex regularly a few months ago and I did feel embarrassed and a little disgusted after, as if I was some kind of deviant or ruined because of it. I obviously don't actually think that, and I enjoyed myself in the moment, but I think spending too much time on lurking on incel boards caused some self-esteem issues that didn't surface until then.
Maybe take some time to think about if you're even turned on during these encounters and want sex, or if you're just doing it to please the other person. It could also be a physical condition, but it seems like there's some mental stuff at play if you dissociate and feel like crying. It kinda seems like you shouldn't continue having sex with this person if it upsets you and is painful. I hope you're able to figure it out.
Seconding everything this anon says. My parents were awful in a litany of ways but their blatant misogyny and disgust towards sex and always accusing me of being a slut (at 15, with no friends even) was already enough to completely fuck my eventual sex life completely. I experienced everything prior anon mentioned and find it hard to enjoy sex and not kind of just "perform" it. Also a very broken and shameful catholic background which helps nothing, and shit body image >>114468
Try the masturbation thread friend, lots of good recs
>>114448>and today when I was recounting that I had a freak out with him recently, and was wondering why he still wants to sleep with me seeing as my problems make it difficult a lot of the time
because he's a man and you're giving him free pussy. it's not any deeper than that
that said, i would recommend masturbating more. figure out what gets you off. a lot of female sex drive is mental. you can't just rub yourself and get off like a guy can. you may have to imagine something other than the real-life situation during sex to get off. try looking at different kinds of porn (just not shitty paid porn that abuses women)
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Anyone else dealing with bacne insecurities during sex? I can't do doggystyles or anything from the back because I'm so insecure by the scarring from years ago that just won't go away!
Why not just get it lasered/needled/chemical peeled off or something? If your acne is over then it's safe to do.
But keloids are a bit more difficult, sometimes even impossible to be rid of. If that's the case you've just gotta cope, anon.
Does it take you a long time to reach orgasm when you masturbate?
Personally, it takes me around 20 - 40 minutes to reach climax by myself. I've been active sexually for 6 years and have always been numb there as well. Never had an orgasm with a partner. I figured cause it takes so long alone that I'm probably not a very sensitive person in general.
Maybe toys will help, like a vibrator, to create a stronger sensation. Not all women feel anything from simple POV or cunnilingus, just the sad truth.
A guy who doesn't watch porn?
That would be a first
Yeah, my virgin bf is a bit of a prude and says it’s weird to see random ppl fucking without emotional intimacy, bond and connection. He sees porn as vulgar, aggressive and not romantic. He also thinks blow jobs are emotionally distant and doesn’t want any at all for some reason. Idm cause I don’t want dick in my mouth. That nasty.
Anyways, even though he hasn’t seen any porn, he’s has jacked off with his imagination before. I don’t know how he does it. It’s easier with visual stimuli lmao.
No it takes me like a minute to orgasm alone just by rubbing my clit if I want to rush it.>>114639>>114620
Was on birth control and an antidepressant. Got off both like 4 months ago but still no improvement at all. All I know is I can get aroused and feel sensation easily through porn/fanfic but not through foreplay with any of the guys I've tried it with. Dont have any interest in girls. I heavily insert as the person receiving dick when i watch porn/read fanfic or use my imagination and i get really aroused but i cant translate it to real life?
I can stimulate my gspot with my finger too and orgasm pretty quick alone if i wanted to. I dont watch porn often at all though. I literally just started bupropion to see if that could jump start my sex drive if I'm still having effects from the ssri because I'm so desperate to feel aroused by anything.
Late reply but I still think it's worth typing out because I had a similar experience the first few times I had sex and I worked out what caused it. It wasn't shame or anything like that, it was issues I had with trusting others.
Like you I waited until I was 23 before having sex. The man I was doing it with would later become my husband. Before meeting him I'd always been a loner and preferred to keep my distance from other people. Being in love was extremely confusing for me because for the first time in my life I had someone outside of my family that I wanted to be close to.
On the night that it happened I was looking forward to it. He didn't make me feel pressured and gave me lots of reassurance. I enjoyed the build up and foreplay even though I was nervous. It wasn't until he was on top of me with his dick inside me that the mental panic started. I felt very vulnerable and it was as though I didn't have any control over what was happening to me. Physically it felt uncomfortable but not painful. Considering it was my first time, I think he was too rough with me. I doubt this was intentional on his part. I should have been communicating with him about how I felt. The problem was I froze, never said anything and pretended that it wasn't happening. When it was over I went in the bathroom and cried. I had to shove a towel in my mouth to muffle the sobbing so he couldn't hear it. I felt completely violated even though I had consented to the situation.
I lied to him and said I enjoyed sex, so we kept doing it. I never told him about how I felt because I didn't want to hurt him and I was in some sort of denial over it for while. Every time we did it the feeling at the point where I panicked became less intense and this is when I started to work out what my problem was. The loss of control and vulnerability I felt was because I wasn't ready for that level of intimacy. Being aloof and distant with people was my way of having control. Allowing him to get so close to me that he was inside me shattered the personal boundaries that I'd put around myself for so long. I started to realise that it was ok to have sex with him, it was ok to relax and enjoy it. He's someone I love and trust who isn't going to hurt me or humiliate me.
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This is a nice position where both partners are in control of the situation, do you like it?
Since I‘m quite tall it has never really worked for me. I usually have to be in a super weird and uncomfortable angle to be able to suck him and still have my vagina in his face. So mostly I just end up licking his balls and jacking him off, which is obviously not the point.
I also don’t like having to focus on sucking dick while I‘m getting eaten out. I have to be able to let go and relax 100% to really get anything out of (passive) oral.
So yeah, not really for me.
you can definitely try different kinds of stimulation or do whatever, but you're not getting 'addicted' to a vibrator. it just gets you fully turned on and/or gets you off faster than other means.
especially if you can get off from humping something eg a pillow… like the problem seems to be the 'something' you're humping is your bf?
This is bad/dumb advice. A vibrator is obviously different from a dick, unless you have a vibrating man.
Anon should ditch the vibe and get back in touch with reality. She's lucky to be able to get off with PIV prior this so that's something worth keeping.
I've stopped using mine for about 2 months and am finally starting to feel things when my boyfriend touches me. It's still not as good, though. I am hoping it gets better.
Basically it's the same as suffering from death grip for a dude. It should get better if you lay off, but not for a while. Definitely stop using it if you want to have any hope of reaching an orgasm without it.
This was my old relationship with my ex, it makes you feel so unsexy,
undesired, and for me I felt like a big baby.
In the end he dumped me, and it hurt at first, but years later I'm so grateful I'm with someone who wants me sexually.>>115567
Honestly, if I don't masturbate at least once a week I can go a year without it.
I have to masturbate regularly to feel any sort of libido.
I don't know. I talked with him about it and he told me he just didn't think about me that way last night (as in, he didn't think me laying there naked in a towel was anything special lmaoooo great ikr). He doesn't watch porn, I'm trying to get him to go to therapy and he is waiting for an appointment he was super depressed before I met him and he says he still might be so yeah. Talking with him in the past though he's told me he thinks it how stressed and anxious he gets and I understand that but for me it seems like he just… Doesn't think about me in that way. It makes me feel like he isn't into me and I've gave him so many chances to be truthful and admit it to me but he swears he is. I told him last month if it doesn't improve I don't know if we can stay together, since then we've done it once, so I just masturbate almost every day (which makes me feel embarrassed and disgusting lol). I feel so bad telling other people about it since I haven't been able to ask for help for around 2 years because I don't want to hurt him by telling someone about our problems but I just don't know what to do.
Other than our sex life the relationship feels so perfect and exactly what I want but because I have such low self esteem and depression (I am going to therapy for this though) it really fucks with my mental health. Sorry for the long reply.
>>115581>feeling sexy, smelling great in just a towel whilst you're ignored by a man glued to his computer.
I posted this exact scenario in the relationship thread, should we just name this common phenomenon already?
Rejection is fine, but being ignored is just insulting. Being expected to still be available after so long is salt in the wound.
This, I wonder if it's dick sperg scatfag.
By the sounds of that post he must have done this and gotten laid though. Congrats, I guess?
i dated someone who was 2 meters tall and it was all around awkward. but from what i can tell you…
don't try shower sex coz its awkward af. ride on top (best way imo). kneel on an elevated surface like a bed or couch and do doggy. you can also use cushions or pillows. if he's strong enough he can lift you up and pin you against the wall. also try some really high heels and bend over for him.
using both definitely lowers the risk factor much more so than using one, so if getting pregnant is definitely not on your to-do list, using both would be your best bet. If he finishes outside of you (say, finish by removing the condom and jerking him off) then that will also lower the risk of pregnancy.
also anon, don't have sex with him if you don't feel like you could ask him to stop at any time before or during and that would be fine. You don't know how you'll feel during your first time and being able to stop if you get overwhelmed is important. I had a lot of terrible sex from wanting to please my partners instead of caring for myself before I met my current bf, who will stop the second I express discomfort. It makes the whole experience much better.
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How can I deal with my total insecurity about my pubic hair? I wax as much and as often as I can but there are some periods during the year (see exams) where i literally don't have time to go get waxed and since I'm very hairy down there shaving is just a pain in the ass (quite literally), My bf told me that it doesn't bother him and he is very supportive but all of my female friands always tell me how their bfs are deeply grossed out if they don't shave and i literally can't bring myslef to have sex (or anything at all on me tbh) if I'm not perfectly waxed. how do i get over this? am i just retarded?
Some guys think it's gross but some think it's sexy.
If your boyfriend is fine with it he's fine with it.
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im hooking up with this guy at parties and the first time we were both pretty drunk but he finished twice although, it was very difficult to get him hard like he would go hard but then lose it.
the second time we were both drunk again, it was supposed to be a quickie but then he had the same problem again only this time he stopped me and said to leave it there.
i'm sure he is an alcoholic and that can cause erectile dysfunction but he's also only 22!
i feel so weird and some part of me thinks this is my fault like not being able to get him off (?) so stupid
This might be a shot in the dark, but I’m wondering if any other anons have experienced something similar.
Occasionally, I cry during sex. Not like “this is so good” crying, but like a sudden emotional punch in the gut sobbing? It ONLY happens when there’s penetration. The first time I was ever fingered, I started sobbing uncontrollably immediately. Over time, it got better. The first two months I was sexually active, I cried every single time. Over time, it took longer to trigger it and after years, I’m now at a point where it’s rare but i still warn people about it just in case because it’s so overwhelming that I sometimes struggle to talk and I absolutely need everything to stop immediately. I’ve talked to my female friends about this and they’re clueless as to what I’m describing. My male partners have never experienced it with other girls either.
It’s no longer a major issue in my sex life, but I’m annoyed that it happens at all. I don’t remember ever being sexually abused as a child, but I feel like that’s the only explanation. Am I alone in this?
Have you ever heard the phrase 'whisky dick'.
Even if he wasn't an alcoholic, just being drunk can mess with the bloodflow.
I looked this up online years ago when Google's results actually showed you relevant results from small forums and blogs, and it did seem to be a thing that just happened to some people for literally no reason. Some people also cry during orgasm for no emotional reason, just due to crossed signals in the brain.
I used to have unexpected crying too, but in my case it was definitely due to any number of emotionally traumatic issues in my early sexual experiences that I was completely ignoring for years. However it doesn't necessarily have to come from abuse, for example it can be linked to internal shame of sex.
If it concerns you then go to a therapist or talk it out with a partner, but if it's stopped and it's not bothering you then it probably isn't anything to worry about. However it can be distressing for your partner if they are making you cry by having sex with you.
Because women don't speak the fuck up. How is a guy supposed to learn anything about a woman's body if they don't say anything and continue to fake orgasms? Before you know it they carry over their cancerous ideology to the next partner and then it becomes her fault because "there's something wrong with you, my last 3 partners came at least 50 times in succession when I jackhammered them!!!"
Besides at least guys usually finish. This anon made her guy finish twice last time and somehow she thinks she's insufficient. How many times did he make her cum? Did he even bother? Why is she worrying she's not good enough? He should be the one worrying.
Yes let's blame the women for not speaking up after being shamed into silence due to a lifetime of being told they're disgusting sluts if they enjoy sex, having a massive lack of education about their bodies to the point some women have never had an orgasm well into their adulthood or being confused about where pee comes from, acting like a woman masturbating is a hellacious sin while men are all expected to do it every day, the list goes on.
Of course they 'should' but they also shouldn't have to and men should be more concerned about women's pleasure in the way women are concerned about men's pleasure.
If they are so shamed why have sex in the first place? Why fake orgasms and pretend to enjoy it in the first place? I think it's less of an issue about being shamed and an issue with self-worth in general. Many women go into their 40s without having a pleasurable sexual experience. When do they learn to think for themselves? When do their gain their own self-agency? We can blame men for everything but women also exacerbate the problem for themselves and other women.
I see what you're saying about better sex education though. Until I was 22 I thought pee came out of the clit… Sex education is truly awful and is all based on fear instead of actual knowledge.
It’s always like a sad emotional experience, even if I’m otherwise happy. When it happened more regularly, it was like every negative emotion I’d ever felt hitting me all at once. Now it’s just a little knot in my throat and I need a breather lol
Another weird thing I’ve noticed, it happens more frequently with some partners but not others? I used to be into older men and they triggered
it significantly more than someone my age, despite relatively similar sexual experiences.
tbh alcohol is probably the issue, but sex doesn’t have to center around orgasms at all. If you’re gonna keep hooking up, it could be worth while to purely fool around without the pressure of penetration. Sometimes being nervous can make a guy soft!
And just like women can get themselves off when a guy can’t do it, men can totally jerk off instead and that’s fine. It’s rly not about skill or being unattractive or whatever, sometimes people are just sexually incompatible and it requires a little extra to get somewhere lol
This is a normal reaction to alcohol.
-I cannot feel my clit at all when there's a penis in me. I don't know if it's him constantly bumping up against me making me lose my spot or the fact that there's someone else in the room while I'm trying to masturbate. Whatever it is, it makes it impossible to orgasm from penetrative sex. Is this normal to not feel your clit?
-Am I really missing out on the whole casual sex thing? I'm only 23 so I haven't gotten to experience the "ho phase" yet. Is it as fun/good as people say or is it still a lot of no orgasms and being pounded away at?
-How exactly is sex fun? I see people say this but I haven't felt "fun" out of it yet. I've searched and no one has an explanation for why people describe it that way.
Nta but some STDs can be passed through oral sex. Idk how common it is to use a condom for oral sex though, but that doesn't really matter.
I would say most couples prefer to get checked instead of using condoms for oral, but if you don't know if he has an std and want to use condoms for everything, by all means do it. Don't feel pressured to do things you don't want to just because you think that's the norm. There are no rules for sex other than being safe and comfortable.
>>116737>Is it normal for your labia to be dry during sex? Should the natural lubricant that the vagina makes be going to that part? Whenever he goes to insert his penis it hurts and I end up with a friction burn (even if I come from oral before and/or use lube). He pretty much has to force his penis into my vagina because my lips are so dry. I've even tried moisturizing them with coconut oil in the shower
if you're not sufficiently aroused or have an imbalance (low E) that's pretty "normal". Some women also don't make as much natural lubricant. I'm naturally very "wet" but I still can get sore/burns around the entrance if the sex is aggressive enough anyway. I also am not always super wet all around the vulva because the discharge doesn't always spread that far around it depending on how I'm positioned. Have you spoken to a gyno? There are ways to help with this if you're abnormally dry and uncomfortable.>How do I not feel awkward when we are having sex in positions where I am dominate (like riding)? He is very much attracted to me and very eager for sex, but I feel like he is doing me a favor by sleeping with me and I feel like I am violating him somehow whenever I grind against him.>How do people just turn their minds off during so that they only focus on the pleasure? My mind goes a mile a minute telling me to just enjoy it/focus and not to do certain things and I end up never being "in the moment"
imho, these are both a matter of confidence and relaxing. You sound insecure and like you have performance anxiety. I don't really know what to tell you to do because "just relax" isn't really helpful advice, but just letting go and enjoying it or letting your "horny brain" take over is how I think most people do it. Remember, he loves your body, you're giving him a great time that you should both enjoy, not being given a favor.>Am I really missing out on the whole casual sex thing? I'm only 23 so I haven't gotten to experience the "ho phase" yet. Is it as fun/good as people say or is it still a lot of no orgasms and being pounded away at?
I'm not fully qualified to tell you on this, but I didn't do it and I'm the same age as you. I feel totally fine and satisfied. I did briefly date around a bit (mostly with "safe" people I didn't or couldn't get physical with) but didn't sleep around. My monogamous sex life is amazing because my partner knows how to please me, I don't have to teach new people how to do it every time I sleep with someone. Some people really enjoy it, but from everything I've seen it gets old after a while and most of the people I know who are sleeping around still want "more" e.g. a relationship. I think a lot of people say it's fun as a cope and that a lot of people aren't actually that satisfied, but there are types of people who do love it.
-How exactly is sex fun? I see people say this but I haven't felt "fun" out of it yet. I've searched and no one has an explanation for why people describe it that way.
People love orgasms and being wanted and wanting sexually. With a good partner, it's just a great feeling. You have tons of excitement and physically it feels good, that's what makes good sex fun. With "slow" sex that isn't as "exciting," it's fun because it feels good and you're getting to fulfill sexual desires with someone who you find attractive.
Not to be rude, but do you think you may be asexual or not into who you're with? Your questions give me that vibe. I didn't reply to one of them because I feel like I can't really add anything, hopefully someone takes that one.
>>116302>This, I wonder if it's dick sperg scatfag.
Dick-sperg-anon here, I haven't posted here in months. And I am most certainly not a "scatfag", what the fuck? You're conflating different anons.>By the sounds of that post he must have done this and gotten laid though. Congrats, I guess?
No, I am not going to bother attemping a relationship until Foregen fixes my dick; if that doesn't go well then I'll kill myself. I have a 5.5", thin, cut dick, I cannot have a relationship, I cannot have sex. No woman would ever want to be with a man that has a penis as inadequate as mine, it is a complete impossibility and I will not be foolish enough to attempt it.
You can go on about all the same tired bullshit, "just eat her out", "not all girls are obsessed with PIV", etc.- I'm more than willing to provide oral and do whatever else to help the girl enjoy sex, but I don't believe that anything can make up for not having a nice dick to provide fulfilling PIV with. THAT is sex, THAT is what a relationship is about. You cannot make up for lacking that, it is an absolute prerequisite for the sexual and emotional satisfaction and long-term attraction for any woman.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Dude you are delusional, that's why women don't want you. The obsession with your dick not being good enough is a total turn off, not your dick. You're probably going to destroy it or feeling in it trying to "fix" it and evidently many men who are under 7", thin-dicked, and cut are getting laid. You're not because your obsession is weird and annoying.
What is even the point in replying here? This is /g/ and you aren't appreciated or wanted here.
Seconded. Dickguy needs to get a hobby or something, why are men so obsessed with their genitals?
Bet he ends up with a 8" arm flesh tube that needs pumped up manually. I'm sure all the ladies in his life will be fawning over it.
It means you feel good around his penis.
As for being tight that's not really the point of vaginas. What most people mean when they say 'tight' is an aroused vagina (vaginal tissue engorged with blood and relaxed enough to be both soft/squishy and not painful) and good control over the kegel muscles. The mix of those two things give a cushy tight feeling while being pleasurable to both the guy and woman.
Real/too tightness, is more of a condition that prevents the vagina from relaxing and/or lack of arousal and isn't really anything anyone would want.
Pretty much every young woman (who hasn't had vaginal trauma) can be 'tight' with arousal and a bit of exercise. Having an impossibly tight vagina is just something pandered by porn, if you both are enjoying the sex then don't worry about the dimensions of your bits.
i never experienced either, didnt know there's a distinction.
This person is just being pedantic. Cumming usually refers to male ejaculation since women don't. >>118012
21 year old with the lazy boyfriend, try watching some porns and seeing what you like
Squirting is pissing.
Women don't ejaculate.
I wonder if these new extremely dumb posts ITT are written by a teen male larping
You could unsnap it and fuck in the bodysuit?>>118012
If you've tried masturbating already, maybe try the Womanizer. If it doesn't bring you to orgasm, you can get a refund. The Satisfyer is cheaper, but has no such guarantee.
its not pee
t. larping male
it's piss that gets forced out, i can squirt without doing anything lewd
cause it's forced out of the bladder without it being full yet, so it doesn't really have the time to turn /as/ sour as pee normally is. it's more clear imo and has a more neutral smell, but it's still from the exact same organ pee comes from, and passes through the same ducts
for the same reason, holding your pee in for too long can have the urine crystallise and you can have huge inflammations there
men be like…
sorry ur fetish is diluted piss bruh. get over it and learn how a womans body werks
Why can't squirt fetishists just accept the piss? There are worse things to be into. So what if girls pissing gets you going?
Be proud, piss-kun.
the sodium that gets expelled from your bladder actually can crystallize, but it makes up for less than 1% of urine. also there is tons of bacteria in using, holding its in too long can cause UTIs>>118191
holding in pee for longer than you're supposed to can even make you urinate blood. literally google it
in theory, the faster it gets out, the clearer and less smelly it is. still pee though
guy here what the fuck is this whole board ironic?
nobody likes that unless you are a degenerate, and maybe only americans like spit because their dicks are chopped off and they need lube. Spit is fucking annoying and decreases what we feel(Read the rules boy)
jfc you absolute moron. bladder stones aren't caused by leaving too much pee in your bladder.
you keep saying shit like "in theory" when we have plenty of documentation on how the female bladder works. pee goes into the bladder already processed, the purity of it has nothing to do with it sitting in the bladder for too long, it has to do with diet, if i don't eat all day and drink nothing but water, i can wait 4+ hours to pee and it will be really different than someone who eats ramen instead.
>>118197>never gotten a blowjob
or>likes bumpy dry ones
but ur definitely the first one
you're fucking retarded. urine is practically sterile unless you have a UTI or infection.
and no, holding in pee doesn't make you piss blood, it weakens the muscles. That's why it's not a good idea to hold it in. What makes pee less smelly and clearer is staying hydrated.
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really hope you're pretending to be retarded>>118218https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4659483/
pee isn't sterile, that's mom science
and you can give yourself an UTI if you don't empty your bladder enough, and if left untreated you can very well pee blood
this is my last post on this, pee fetishists
>>118247>I always have to decline while we are in the act and it's ruining things
Well, have you talked to him about this while not in the act?
But either way: Be honest with him. Maybe don’t tell him he’s too fat for it so bluntly but more like ‘your body is too wide it just doesn’t work and is painful/uncomfortable for me’ and tell him that him requesting it during sex makes you uncomfortable as well.
Like, I don’t think anyone on here can give you any advice besides talking to him about it and telling him the truth?
Jesus I’m jealous. I’ve had an orgasm during sex once and it took like 50 minutes and wasn’t even that great because of how exhausted I was.
When I masturbate, however, I can come within 1-2 minutes too. Only ever from clitoral stimulation though.
i don't know how to phrase this, is it possible to be asexual while enjoying sex? i could easily go without, and for years i did. i'm 22 and recently lost my v card, my boyfriend measures 7 inches and is quite thick, i've learned how to give blowjobs on him and he loves having to teach me stuff, he has had only 2 past partners.
when i masturbate, i don't like the weird sensation clitoral stimulation gives me, i have to press down on it really hard to feel that kinda electrical snap all the way down to my knees, but it doesn't feel incredible or anything. i have no history of sexual abuse, nor mental.
i really love being close to my boyfriend, having him cum on me or in me but as i've never had an orgasm i just really love to watch to get him off.
i have spoken to my mother about this, she said she's never came either. my sister on the other hand did, but she's a half sibling that's half irani. i look so similar to my mom, i think i got it from her.
i do get wet from watching certain thing, for some reason hentai. i think im just fucked up sexually from being on newgrounds at the age below 10.
any anons have had the same issue then came? i'm trying the shower head today to see if it will work
where do I begin…
>i never touch my bf's cock at all, not even for a hand job
Why don’t you? If you don’t do it because you only want to be on the receiving end but not put any effort in then yeah, that’s kinda selfish. If you don’t feel comfortable (yet) or something like that, then no, that’s reasonable and you shouldn’t feel guilty about it.
>he doesn't like blow jobs but idk if he's lying because don't all men like that
This confuses me a little because:>before each other we never had a romantic partner.. so its basically just us trying to discover stuff out
How would he know whether or not he likes it, when he never got a blowjob before? I’d see if he was put off by the idea and even though it’s really rare there are indeed guys that genuinely do not like blowjobs. Either because they don’t like the feeling or because they feel it’s degrading.
So I wouldn’t worry about it. Even if he only said it to make you feel better, he apparently doesn’t miss it too much because otherwise he’d probably ask for it or at least bring it up in some way.
>since im still kind of a virgin, im still very tight
That’s some sexist bullshit right there.
You either have a tight vagina or you don’t. It doesn’t get loose over time or with the amount of sex you’ve had. Instead it rather sounds like you’re still a bit insecure and/or don’t feel really comfortable with the thought of penetration and therefore can’t relax 100%. Which is fine. Just don’t buy into this ‘oh she’s a virgin so her pussy is still nice and tight’ bullshit.
If you don’t feel comfortable with penetrative sex, don’t do it. It is, in a way, selfish but it’s the acceptable/good kind of selfishness. Your boyfriend doesn’t have a right to have sex with you so if he needs to get off, he can jerk off and it’s fine. Don’t let anyone including yourself tell you otherwise. He obviously likes doing things to you, even if he can’t put his dick inside of you. So it’s not like he doesn’t get anything out of it.
If you like what he’s doing to you and you’re happy with it: Embrace it. Don’t feel pressured to go further than what you’re comfortable with. If it ever should become an issue, he can try to bring it up and you can talk about it. But as long as he seems to be fine with it, don’t worry so much. Some things take their time and that’s fine.
Everything the other anon said.
The "hand stuff" stage really is lovely, and it's fine to draw it out.
That said, let him know you like watching him jerk off. Ask him if you can touch him, too. It might be a good idea to ask him how he likes to be touched so you don't accidentally hurt him.
My sexual relationship with my bf is pretty much like this. I don't enjoy penetration at all (like you, I cannot even bring myself to use tampons and they are tiny). I was honest and told him at the beginning and he was completely fine with it. You both have to be completely honest with each other. Check in with him and make sure he is actually okay with everything. The talk might be a little awkward but you definitely need to communicate with each other. Also don't communicate while you're being intimate but set aside time to ask him all these things.
I think genuinely some guys enjoy getting their partner off more. Yesterday my bf spent over an hour kissing, caressing, teasing me, etc and he was hard the entire time. He looked into my eyes constantly, smiled a lot, etc. He didn't expect anything, he wasn't doing it so we'd fuck, he just wanted to please me. It was so nice. I was scared from intimacy for a while because I thought it would lead to something I didn't want to do (PIV). If your bf is also like that then enjoy it because that kind of guy is rare.
Funny because I am also into femdom but my bf is so sweet and gentle I'd prefer to do more vanilla things with him most of the time.
>>119648>Also don't communicate while you're being intimate but set aside time to ask him all these things.
Can't stress this enough.
Often times people bring up sex-related issues they want to talk about while they're doing the do and that's the worst possible thing you could do. You're both vulnearable af so you tend to be more defensive, in the heat you're more likely to become frustrated really easily, … it just never works out.
My relationship is similar. I'm fairly new to everything and I'm not really sure what I'm into because I don't have the experience yet. My bf really enjoys getting me off but I did start to feel bad about being on the receiving end but never giving (he's been vocal about the fact that it doesn't matter to him). Big difference for me is that I genuinely enjoyed giving him blowjobs and I would be more sexually aggressive but I'm too embarrassed to try anything first.
I considered myself asexual for years (never had sexual attraction to anyone before this) so this is all new for me.
Are you me? My boyfriend is exactly the same way. He can spend ages just focusing on caressing and stroking me and has admitted that he gets such an intense rush mentally from getting me off that he even fantasizes about ways to do it when we're apart. (I travel for work).
It all started with me admitting that I hate penetration of any sort, even blowjobs. I was so sure it would be a deal-breaker that I was suggesting we break up over it, which baffled him because he couldn't see how it was a big deal.
It's the safest I've ever felt in a relationship. The world needs more sweet, gentle bfs who genuinely enjoys and takes part in their partner's pleasure.
Definitely, it can end up hurting the other person even if you don't mean to. It's best to talk about things when both parties are calm and rational.>>119670
It is really so wonderful to feel understood in that way. I put off having a relationship for such a long time because I thought every guy would expect constant PIV, anal, deepthroat, slutty lingerie, etc. I am so lucky to have found my bf who doesn't want any of that. All the stuff that everyone considers "foreplay" we both love the most. He constantly tells me that he loves the expressions I make and how I hug him tightly when I'm feeling good. He is so sweet I can't handle it.
For the longest time I thought I wasn't attracted to men, but I legit get wet just hugging him. I love him so much.
i think our sexual relationship developed like that because when we initially started dating we'd always joke about what we'd do in bed like a couple of virgins. and the theme of me being a pillow princess really really turned us both on. he loves to please me whatever the cost – he even does some fucked up fetishes i want to try. im always his first priority and if something is uncomfortable he immediately stops. that's why i really want to return the favour and am thinking of giving him a hj and hopefully some penetrative sex… someday when im comfortable. ik he'll be very accommodating i just have to get over my anxiety of having a large foreign object attached to another human up inside my body. also he doesn't like bj's because when we first discussed what we'd do in bed, the issue of my freakishly small mouth and giant teeth deterred us from ever attempting it. he also thinks its degrading and too connected to porn which he absolutely despises (he watched it once and got traumatized kek). oh sorry about the sexist bullshit i didn't know that. thank you for informing. i guess i just have a genetically small vagina. when he first fingered me it hurt like a bitch; when i first fingered myself i could only do one fingertip – not even the whole finger . >>119648>>119670>>119671
woah we gotta make a boyfriend appreciation thread. it's very heartening people have loving boyfriends that aren't into pornographic-influenced sex. i fell for mine because of his eager-to-please selflessness. >>119648
to this anon, my bf is super vanilla too but i always drag him into non-vanilla realms 'cause i like to explore new things with him. none of it has turned him on. he just has to be with me and he's happy as it is. are you ever going to try penetration? i think i will one day down the road. he's not pressuring me or anything i just want him to be happy too and not sadly jerking himself off after we do things every time. plus it'll add some more fun stuff to try
My current boyfriend also was a virgin and I was stressing out so much about it that I almost didn't go out with him.
My advice : don't stress about it. If the first time is awkward, who cares? The other times will be good!
I don't know about yours but my bf knew how to touch me and such. If he doesn't, start with touching each other to climax, and for first PIV I'd recommend a lot of lube.
It's okay if it's not perfect, it'll come! Just communicate and take it slowly if you need to.
>>119672>woah we gotta make a boyfriend appreciation thread. it's very heartening people have loving boyfriends that aren't into pornographic-influenced sex.
I agree, I like reading about men who are decent people. The pink pill threads hurt my heart and I feel awful for all the things a lot of women put up with.
>are you ever going to try penetration?
I like the idea of it, because I think it would be extremely intimate. But it would be way too painful and uncomfortable for me. I'm a virgin who doesn't even enjoy fingering and my boyfriend is almost over 8 inches, and also very thick. He would kill me if we had sex, and he realizes that too. However we both love intercrural and do it very often. If you don't do it already I definitely recommend it. It's extremely nice for clitoral stimulation and you could press your thighs together to create some nice friction for him. It's very intimate and I love it.
>>119925>And should I force myself to do things for a guy even if it makes me uncomfortable/if it's unpleasant for me?
Depends on what it is. I'd say no, unless it's reasonable and you are in a long-term relationship. For example I don't like giving oral and I'm sure as hell not going to do it for some guy I just started dating. My bf who I've been together for several months and is fine with or without me doing it, and will appreciate it, is a different story. You are not going to go out of your way to do something you dislike for a guy who you don't know gives a shit about you yet.
I've read so many horror stories of girls here being pressured into things they didn't want like deepthroat, BDSM, anal. Then they regret it because they were pressured into something they hated and their guy won't even touch them or go down on them. Don't do it.
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I have a rather unusual problem. So, my bf has sexual anhedonia. I takes him an hour to finish when he is masturbating, and around 20-30 mins during intercourse. Unfortunately, I orgasm really quickly, and it feels kind of rough/weird because he just doesn't stop after I cum. Will it be rude to ask him to pull out, so I could finish him off with my hand/mouth? It doesn't feel any different to him since he can't feel pleasure, but he seems to be fixated on always finishing inside. It feels "wrong" to take away the only thing he gets out of sex (besides emotional fulfillment).
Wow anon, that's the simplest and the best answer, but I have never thought about it lol. Thank you!
And unfortunately his condition is not caused by depression or hormones, it's because of injury he suffered as a child. I don't want to go into graphic details, but we have been to many doctors, and they all claimed it's not possible to treat.
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I am at my wits end here. This situation is honestly making me feel depressed.
I'm 21 and lost my virginity earlier this year to a man that I really love and could see myself marrying. He is very very sweet and considerate and tries his best to make sex pleasurable for me (oral, fingering, positions that are supposed to hit my g spot).
I had a bout of vaginismus (sex was very painful since losing my virginity) and have only actually been able to have painless sex for the past 3 months. He stood by me and helped me get through it and I love him so much for being my rock.
But sex feels like NOTHING. I don't know whats wrong with me. I think hes really cute and he has a good sized dick. It doesn't matter what we do, and we've tried plenty of things together. My body reacts by getting wet and accomodates his penis but I don't feel any pleasure (or pain). Penetration just feels like skin on skin. My clit is pretty much useless during sex. I recently got a vibe to use during sex and it feels a little good but its nothing special.
Everyone talks about sex like its magical. My boyfriend feels so much pleasure and I can't feel a damn thing and it makes me really jealous tbh. I'm not on birth control or antidepressants either. If i masturbate solo (usually to rough stuff which is my fav) I can literally orgasm in under a minute. I very rarely masturbate though. When I try to rub myself the same way during sex, nothing. I've even tried replicating rough sex but it didnt help. Does anyone have any advice? If I never had sex again for the rest of my life I wouldn't even give a shit.
I'm mostly into cnc when I watch/read porn. I can also use my imagination to get off alone. I try using my imagination during sex but it doesnt help. I don't really have any interest in trying it irl though, it's only hot to me in porn and doesnt turn me on irl.
Im still engaging and being enthusiastic about sex because i like seeing him happy and i try to keep trying different things each time. I hope I'll have SOME feeling over time. I really really want to enjoy sex. I dont even care about orgasming, i just want to feel something. But how can i even desire sex when I've never had a pleasurable experience?
If you are repulsed by dicks you are probably gay, or have some sort of trauma or insecurity. Same for men repulsed by vaginas. It's not normal to be grossed out by the opposite gender's genitals if you are attracted to the person and gender in question. You are either not attracted to him, or not attracted to guys in general.>>119954
Perhaps you just don't like PIV that much? PIV tends to suck for a lot of women, pleasure-wise. Majority of nerves are in the clit and the outside of the vagina. A vaginal orgasm is a mix of internal stimulation, as well as external stimulation from the clit being a certain distance from the vagina. If the stars don't align the chances of getting a reasonable about of pleasure from PIV are very low. Probably you would get off more from being rubbed without penetration, if you are not one of the lucky few it's a meme.
i don't have this problem, but i just wanted to let you know that feeling like you have to pee before orgasm is totally normal. when you hold your pee, that actually uses/exercises your kegels (which surround the inner workings of your vagina). this sensation is part of the reason why it's been contested that "female ejaculate" is actually urine, because some women actually do pee a bit when they come because of the sudden relaxation of said muscles.
that being said - i've never peed on anyone or myself and i've been orgasming/masturbing since i was a preteen. my orgasms are quite subtle though and i would almost compare them to the way you feel after you sneeze.
This definitely happens to me a lot. Not all the time, but much more often than I'd like. Unless I'm out of my mind horny I sometimes sort of feel nothing during sex and it's weird.
Even weirder, the way I've been getting over it is by really vividly picturing in my head the view of him fucking me if I can't see it. Like really numbing everything else and picturing his dick pounding into me. idk if I don't consciously do that sometimes I just snap out of being horny. It's strange but it works for me at least.
First off - You Have To Masturbate.
Even if it doesn't feel good at first you have to figure it out on your own first.
Do you have a high water pressure at home and a detachable shower hose? I find it's a great way to learn (although it won't help in the bedroom. Honestly me and my SO just let me get myself off with my fingers while he is static inside me) In the shower you can control water pressure which is key cause you might feel like it's overwhelmingly sensitive if you aren't used to masturbating OR vice versa it feels numb. Personally for me it's a combination. I can't imagine what it would be like to have a normal exposed clit.
Note, have lots of time on your hands and be alone and experiment. Rushing isn't sexy.
Buying a vibrator might be fun to do with your partner but personally i've never tried it.
More important to teach yourself before you expect orgasms in the bedroom tbh.
sorry rambling mess of a drunk reply
I didn't say anything about the way I would say it.. obiously I wouldn't flat out call it disgusting. I'm not gay and I don't have a trauma, I always felt uncomfortable about genitals. >>120317
But he asked me if I'm gonna do things to him as well, he wouldn't stop asking about it either, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to answer. The only solution I can think of is try getting really drunk and seeing if that will help me get over it and do something to him lol.. I doubt it will work tho
Grow up and talk to him about it. What >>119649
said applies here as well.
Sit down with him, tell him what’s your issue and that it’s a problem you have with genitalia in general. Set boundaries and stick to them until you
have any desire to go further. Don’t let him pressure you into doing something you’re not 100% comfortable with. If you aren’t setting any real boundaries he’s more likely to ignore them or cross them involuntarily.
If this upsets him you’ll have to face the possibility that the two of you just don’t work out as couple. But if he keeps asking you even after you’ve told him off, please love yourself and dump him.
I think after a clitoral orgasm is most likely for me too, it just feels like sometimes I'm too sore on my vulva or the entrance to my vag, or end up out of the mood by accident? Latter is more when I have a very good orgasm and I'm just done. Maybe my bf is scratching me with stubble or I'm pushing his face in too hard, lmao. It feels like I get close but can't get over the edge, did you ever deal with that in particular? I get the same feeling with some clitoral stuff as well, I've never been able to deal with high-powered vibrators or intense showerheads for the same reason.>>120248
The problem for me is that I've never been able to come from penetration alone, it's always been with a dildo and rubbing myself. It seems to get closer or easier when it's with my bf despite the added complication of someone else trying to get off just because I'm more stimulated and aroused, lol. I don't have a ton of stamina but I've tried riding on top without a ton of luck. Maybe it's the angle? The other problem is I'm a retard when it comes to this so I've hurt my bf a few times and I suck at keeping the rhythm because of my low stamina. Are there similar positions that take less energy or do you know good exercise to do out of bed to get better at cowgirl?
Are there any other lesbians who don't like oral? I've tried it but I don't like giving or receiving, and it's not just a negative sexual experience that ruined it for me. It has been years since I've been in a relationship or had sex but now I'm ready to re-enter the dating scene. I'm worried girls will think I'm just straight and experimenting if I refuse but I love everything else about having sex with women. I have a high libido but am not physically sensitive and I'm just not into having genitals in my mouth, but every other lesbian I've talked to online or irl likes it.>>119998
I have a very small clitoris too, and it isn't very sensitive either. I can be soaking wet but have to use a Hitachi to get anywhere. I have only been able to cum from the Hitachi or a pool jet and never even expected my previous partner to be able to do it during sex. I place the vibrator head at an angle over my underwear so it covers both my vaginal opening and my clit covered by the hood. Squeezing a pillow between my thighs at the same time helps too.I don't even move the vibrator around, I just find the spot that feels good and squeeze down on the pillow around it until I cum within seconds.
Bisexual who doesn't like oral but I like giving! I'm even more scared people will think I'm straight cause I swing both ways but oral really feels like nothing.
Two girls and a few toys… I can get behind.
>>120500>he said no >and that he would just keep trying
Choose one, kek.
He can’t be happy enough not to leave you without it but simultaneously admit that he‘d continue trying to talk/push you into doing it. Obviously there‘s no harm in asking, technically, but he should be fine with giving you your time and let you come to him first.
>And I'd still let him do me.
No, please, love yourself. You don’t owe him.
And yes, relationships are supposed to be about more than sex. It can be a vital part of it for some people but nobody should make you feel bad about yourself because you don’t want to do this stuff right now or ever.
said at this point.
Then you'll be like that one girl who got coerced into anal, everyone told her not to and she came back crying that he wasn't even grateful
Stop trying to be the "cool girl", and rewarding bad men for bad behaviors. I hate talking about sex and intimacy that way but that's how they literally see it.
And why exactly should it be mandatory for you to cater to your partner‘s sexual needs but not the other way around? You do realize that’s some A+ sexist thinking you got there?
And what about girls that don’t want any sexual intercourse at all? Should those then only be dating guys with no libido or just let themselves be raped every now and then to be worthy of a relationship?
There are tons of guys out there and some of them will be fine with whatever works best for you, because eventually they want you to be happy and care about you more than their dick.
Believe me, there are some guys that would be fine with you not touching their dick at all. Honestly you shouldn't be guilty but you should get a little upset. You told him the things that made you uncomfortable and he basically said "nah I don't care about that, I'm going to coerce you into it anyway even if it takes a while." That's not how a loving partner would think or feel.
Love yourself and let the guy go.
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How do I stop cringing during sex/foreplay?
I have to admit I'm somewhat a prude and haven't had much experience at all. Whenever anything sexual happens I immediately IMMEDIATELY start cringing. I think about my relationship with my ex or previous sexual encounters that I have regretted and it completely ruins my mood.
Any advice/similar situations?
I'm in the exact same position and all you can do is respect and love who he is as a person, like you said its amazing his masculinity isn't so tied to sex and seeing you as a sex object but it is hard to unlearn being seen as one.
If you genuinely enjoy being with him you just have to focus on the good stuff and try and think of things that would fulfil that area that is missing that he wants to do (like extra cuddling or other forms of intimacy).
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I really really tried taking your advice because it sounded pretty reasonable but it hasn't worked at all. Honestly I think I'm just not meant for sex? That sucks really hard. I don't know if I'll ever enjoy it. Can't even remember one time I've gotten horny (without forcing myself to watch porn every so often).
I really really love my bf (mutually) and plan to have his babies so I guess I'll just keep having sex anyway. At least I never enjoyed it so I can't miss it lol.
Unfortunately I did get my hormones tested. My family doctor clearly thought I was crazy when I came to her about it but did all the tests I wanted anyways and referred me to a gyno. Tests were normal and the gyno pretty much told me, and i quote, "women have sex to cuddle, men cuddle to have sex" and then offered me an experimental "female viagra" that hardly works according to google. I ask for her to put me on Wellbutrin as a last ditch effort and it didn't help. I mean, I get that there's not much she could do given my normal hormones but she sounded so dismissive.
They were both female too. Doctors don't give a single fuck. If I was a guy with a limp dick they'd care.
>>121057>if it was a guy they would care
YUP. Doctors fucking suck. I've found male doctors to be both more gentle with my body and more open to hearing what's wrong. Female gynos I've had have all been really rough and rude.
On the low libido thing, don't sweat it. Focus on being present in the moment and give it time. It took me literal years to get used to having my partner spectating while I tried to "Get off" after living as a total asexual for most of my life. It still sometimes takes me out of the moment and my horniness doesn't manifest, it just kinda turns into me fondling meat and doesn't feel like anything.
Either way if there's nothing wrong hormonally then it's in your head and the only way to fix what's in your head is to give yourself a safe space to loosen up.
I'm honestly just terrified that I'm asexual. I don't want to be. I know im not a lesbian either because im not attracted to women. I love the idea of the male physique/dick but when im actually there it doesnt turn me on. I'm going to keep at it and hope things get better like you say but I'm scared. I know if my bf knew i felt literally nothing it would destroy him.
I just feel like… i should just feel something. Just anything when theres a dick inside me (other than pressure) or when him or I play with my clit. Honestly bless his soul, he really tries too and I can tell he's trying a bunch of varied things that worked in the past for other girls. I refuse to fake an orgasm but he already expressed he wished I could get off with him. I just reassure him that its okay and i enjoy the rest of it.. but i dont. I hate lying to him but i dont want to completely ruin our relationship.
Literally just going to pretend i like sex for the rest of my life if nothing improves. I dont want to be with anyone else. This is so pathetic i know.
Is it right for you be having sex all the time when you're not feeling it? I've gone through periods where my drive switched off so I just had 'numb sex' anyway. Looking back it was damaging, it gave me serious issues in the long run
I understand the pressure of not wanting to ruin a relationship but years of having sex out of duty can turn into a lifetime of intimacy issues that follow you from one relationship to the next. I think getting totally honest with the bf would be best, maybe there's a compromise where pressure will be taken off you but some forms of intimacy will still be there
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Is eating ass just a meme or do guys (and girls) actually appreciate it?
My boyfriend does it to me sometimes when he eats me out before we do it in doggy or before we have anal sex.
I‘m not really into it though. It feels kinda-nice but I‘m way too self-conscious about my asshole to enjoy that much attention. I‘ll let him do it if it’s not too extensively because he‘s quite into it, but it doesn’t do much (if anything) for me.
He likes getting his own ass eaten out, but since he‘s quite hairy and suffers from IBS and has diarrhea a lot, I just can’t bring myself to do it. (He‘s fine with it and only brought it up like once or so.)
But in general I‘m really wary of it because it’s always kinda risky, health-wise. A nurse once told me that even when your anus is washed properly you‘ll still transmit gut bacteria that can cause infections.
So, no thank you.
Having suffered with IBS for ten years (it mysteriously stopped after a fucking decade of it) I could not find my own ass or anybody elses ass sexy during that time. The association between bumholes and unpleasantness was strong..
I enjoy all that stuff now but during the ibs years.. nope! lol
No, I seriously enjoy it. I'm not the asexual anon. I just get nothing from piv sex.
I have a relationship where we have gone a few months (on my request) without sex just to be sure and honestly I missed it haha.
I think I prefer girls when it comes to actual sex, but I love my boyfriend and want to sleep with him even if it's not as satisfying.
It sucks but most men take it very personally when you tell them you're asexual. No matter what you say, it tends to make them feel undesirable. Most men seem to also get off on their partner being mutually into sex so, might just totally fuck up the "magic" for him.
If you end up finding out you're ace, I'd recommend trying to find an ace boyfriend. I'm married to someone who is sexually "normal" and I'm asexual, it's been extremely hard to navigate how our life is going to work. I came out to my partner as ace after we got married and I regret not being aware enough of my own sexuality that I couldn't speak up sooner. I just thought I had a shitty libido. We've made strides in getting me at least more mentally present during sex and getting my partner to enjoy being the object of very selfless sex but it was very difficult. Our marriage only works out because we are also best friends and have more to our bond than sexual exclusivity. I'm not so ace that I can't orgasm at all, but if it were up to me I'd never have sex and I'd only masturbate to relieve tension or put myself to sleep after a stressful day. There's never any passion from me unfortunately.
Sex helps people maintain romantic bonds, on a chemical level. If you've had normal libido before it might be worth investing time in communicating about your tastes and trying to find ways to get back on the sex horse (yikes lol) so you can refresh your bond and fix your intimacy issues.
Unless you're actually naturally asexual it's not too late anon!
In what ways did you find it damaging? There's nothing i can say to him or do (that ive tried yet, and ive tried everything) to make the situation better. only worse. i dont really mind having sex because its fun at least right now and theres always hope ill figure out a solution. Will it be fun in the future? Who knows. For now im ok doing it especially because i love him so much. I honestly doubt ill be upset about having sex in the future as long as i still love him.
Also at least its a bit of a blessing because I'll never have the issue where i think with my vagina instead of my brain.
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How do I "un-train" myself to only orgasm under certain circumstance?! I feel like I can only cum in one or two positions on my own, I usually have to have a visual stimulant (video/pic) I'm very aurally (lol) focused, I can't cum without either making or hearing noise, my sexual tastes are very specific…like fuck, it's a lot. Other girls can be like, "I think about ass in a pitch black room and I cum in 3 seconds while standing up, using only the power of my mind" and I'm so jealous…but I've been doing it "my way" since I started, so I feel like it's engrained in me.
It also makes it really REALLY hard for me to cum during sex, even though sex is one of my favorite things ever. It's only happened once, and I really think it's because I can't cater to my "I only masturbate like this" needs. My sex drive is disgustingly high but I've even stopped masturbating for months as a last ditch effort before to see if I could just reboot in an easier to please way…nada. I need to re-train my clit and my mind, this is so hard and I have no clue where to start…
I thought I was fine doing it for years but I became pretty sex repulsed as time went on and continued doing it anyway. I had myself convinced all was ok but then fast forward to my late twenties and I've had a tonne of counselling sessions where I realised how unhealthy it was to repress my own feelings and put him first. Looking back I had low self esteem.
Just my own story, not saying it's the same for you
I've considered going to sex therapy but I don't know if it would help. But it can't be a physical issue if i know i can orgasm and get turned on sometimes briefly when i watch porn. And my hormones are normal.
I just don't want to waste money on a therapist and be told the exact same shit I've heard online or to just ~~explore yourself~~~
Thank you for replying to most of my questions anon. Sorry for the month long wait for a response, my anxiety got the best of me and had me thinking my questions were retarded.
If it helps, I've been on the pill for as long as I've been sexually active (3 years) so that may have something to do with the lack of wetness I feel. He also doesn't really do very much to try to turn me on so that may be a problem too. Not trying to be TMI but he basically just gives me head once in a while and then puts his penis in me, even after i've told him that i might need more than just head as foreplay.
I've spoken to a gyno (even switched to a female gyno because I feel a woman could relate more to my issues) and she just referred me to a physical therapist.
I have thought that maybe I was asexual but I still feel some sexual attraction to my bf so that can't be it. I thought that I may not like men for a while too, but the thought of being intimate with a woman doesn't sound very appealing outside of my head.
Thank you again for your response anon. Maybe i'll figure this shit out as I age.
>>121248>I took pill of the next day>was in my fertile period
Okay wait so are you on the regular birth control pill that you take every day and then pause for a week or did you take the morning after pill after having sex that one time?
But anyways, if by ‘she said you’re fetile’ she meant you were ovulating, you should be save. Usually you don’t ovulate if you’re pregnant. It can happen, but it’s super, super rare.
It’s probably just stress. If you haven’t gotten your period a week from now, you can take a test or see a doctor again. But you’re only a few days late as it seems so I wouldn’t worry too much yet.
I know that essentially, I´ll have to talk to my boyfriend about this, but I was wondering if anyone here has had the same experience and could give me some tips. I've only been with my boyfriend for six months, but our sex is great! He seemingly loves going down on me, he's kind of kinky and just all over great! The only problem is that he'll cum really quick. He can stretch the act out if he goes slow, and although that is nice, too, he can't fuck me hard for more than 30 seconds before hell cum. Its not really a big issue, because whenever I´ve had sex for a long time, it always ends up hurting, so I´m not really complaining. But it would be nice to have sex for longer than five minutes once in a while.
Hey so my boyfriend is a germaphobe, squeamish and generally is embarrassed about sexual stuff.
Thing is, I don‘t think he likes my vagina. If I hadn‘t had previous partners literally worship it before it‘d give me a complex. He‘ll try since I told him I enjoy being eaten out etc, but there‘s never a sincere desire from him, no matter how turned on he is. If he fingers me and it‘s wet, he‘ll spend the rest of the session with that hand well out of the way, not touching anything until he can go wash. It does go both ways though, when I tried blowing him he just kept asking if I‘m alright with it and felt super self conscious the whole time and couldn‘t cum, once he accidentally came on my stomach and didn‘t stop apologising for about a week, he was mortified lmao.
Also…it‘s a bit hard to navigate but he‘s got low desire to start sex etc, but the thing is that whenever we DO try it (3x a week or so) he‘s turned on as fuck, and soon as he‘s inside me, within a minute or two he has to keep stopping to hold off cumming. A few times now he‘s given himself ruined orgasms early on because he stopped it too late. Common sense would dictate that if you‘re ready to go so quickly, chances are you can and are willing to fuck more frequently, but he acts coquettish about the whole thing. I initiate 90% of the time and it takes me a while to figure out if he‘s actually into it or not, but by that point he‘s already ready to cum. Know what I mean?
Anyway with the vagina stuff it‘s weird. He‘s more than happy to touch anywhere else I like, but it‘s like the vagina is a no go zone which is kinda THE MOST IMPORTANT PART. I hate to say it but he‘s probably the worst sexual partner I‘ve had, despite being probably the nicest and most considerate in general.
There‘s good things about his low drive (if it IS a low drive), not into porn, jacks off rarely, doesn‘t ogle women and most importantly sees women as humans before sexual objects. I feel that shouldn‘t be something to brag about but given the state of men in general…
yeah how do i get my shy, squeamish bf to fucc
Oh come on, it's trading one set of problems for another. Clearly he's not attracted to her, is disgusted when she gets wet, but is happy to use her as a fleshlight. Getting embarrassed on its own is cute, and not initiating isn't a big deal at all, but getting grossed out at your genitals and not even wanting to touch them is a huge mood ruiner. Can you imagine every time he got his fingers wet he had to run off to wash his hands as if he touched something infected and dirty? Or if he tried to eat you out he have to wash off his face and mouth for minutes like he ate something rotten? Sounds awful to me.>>121415
Chances he won't listen to reason or statistics because phobias are irrational. When it comes to numbers the mouth potentially has even more bacteria than the anus
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The fuck is cute about your partner being disgusted by your body?>>121439
is right. He simply isn't attracted to you but he still has the option of ignoring your body and sticking it inside of you to cum.
Get some self respect and find a different partner. This isn't going to magically resolve itself.
Shit I was going somewhere with that last part. Does he kiss you? He is getting exponentially more germs from that than touching your vagina, but chances are he's a big irrational baby and is just mustering up any excuse he can to dodge the fact he's disgusted by female genitals.>>121446
Wanted to add it's very common with how men treat prostitutes, too. They won't touch their icky vagina with their hands but they will stick their dick inside because it means they'll get to cum. They can close their eyes and pretend its a fleshlight or something.
I guess I have to jump to his defence a little here, unless I‘m misunderstanding what you‘re both saying.
Yes it can be a mood killer, but he tries to focus mainly on my pleasure, I have a higher sex drive than him. I tell him the things I like, and it‘s only stuff to do with the vagina that he basically never takes initiative with. He‘ll try with other things, and I will make sure I get off before he does. I think it‘s definitely more a bodily fluids thing. He‘ll freak if I can see him brushing his teeth or pissing, and is grossed out if my sweat gets on him or vice versa. Hell, he even wrinkles his nose if there‘s a lot of spit on his dick the times I offer to blow him.
And he will eat me out or finger if I ask, but there‘s passion in it because I can tell he‘s inwardly gritting his teeth to get through it for my sake. So I mainly just don‘t ask but it sucks.
If he‘s that sensitive he needs to go see a therapist, as it surely must affect other parts of his life too, if it’s that bad. If it doesn’t, the problem is sex itself and even then he needs therapy as well because this is not normal in any way.
Have you considered using toys for the time being? So instead of fingering he‘ll touch you/make you cum with a vibrator or something. Or maybe he‘d be more okay with it if he was wearing some of those surgical gloves? I mean, it’s not optimal but if he maybe can focus more on your pleasure this way instead of getting his hand germy.
I used to be a germaphobe as well and sometimes when I blow my bf I still think about the potential germs etc. But as long as I stay away from the area below his balls I’m good. And I also kinda get that he would be less grossed out by putting his dick into your vagina vs touching it.
Armchairing but is he really just afraid of germs in general or is he possibly emetophobic?
>>121468>Meanwhile I blow him and jerk him off regularly for 45 minutes or more at a time
45 fuckin' minutes and he gets bored after 2x 10 minutes returning the favor?
Throw it overboard So ungrateful.
want to do anal and why?
It sounds like you’re on board because you have to let him fuck you somehow, not because you want it for yourself.
If it hurts, stop doing it. It’s your body telling you that you’re not 100% comfortable and on board with it.
I’m personally really into anal so when I’m in the mood it doesn’t hurt at all. I let myself pressure into saying yes once though and even though I wasn’t scared that it hurts or something, so I wasn’t really that tensed up, it still hurt like a bitch and we had to stop.
yeah thats the thing, i AM into it. i was the one that initiated the whole idea. that whole area can get a lot of pleasure just from light insertions but once its my bfs dick its too much for it. bf is 7 inch for reference.
he is eager as well but patient and doesn't pressure or force anything so i dont have issues with him. maybe some people just have it smoother on the first tries and it could take longer for me? idk honestly. we'll keep trying but I'll make sure to stop if my body tells me to.
I feel you, its the same with my bf. I'll deepthroat him 'till I cry and gag, but he won't touch my vag for more than a few seconds, minutes top. Like yours, doesn't seem to pay attention to where I want him to touch either. He says he loves me and my vag, but I just feel gross and unwanted. He also says my pleasure is important to him, and that it isn't fun if it hurts me, but still sticks his bone dry dick in my unaroused vag so it hurts every time.
Tbh I don't even care about the pleasure anymore, though it would be nice, I just don't want to feel repulsing.
If a small toy feels good but your bf is too much then just stick to using the toy, honestly why keep forcing something that hurts?
Alot of the time the cause of vaginismus is past trauma or past painful sex etc.. experiencing pain from forcing anal isn't going to help you out there
The thing with anal is you are either fully relaxed and ready for it or you're not, it sounds like in the back of your mind you are not
Yo dump his ass, seriously.
Depressing to see this thread right now is full of women basically enduring painful sex or bad sex in a desperate attempt to put a guys pleasure first… while the favor isn't returned. Girls you will all look back on these relationships and regret staying in them so long
I can't really offer advice on the anal thing specifically, because I'm not into it but I had physical therapy for vaginismus and it changed my life. I would take things easy and try to do that as soon as possible, it makes a huge difference very quickly. I'll never be able to insert anything big but I went from not even being able to put in a finger without feeling like it was on fire to being able to use a cup and get exams.
I developed it after having a lot of pain with ovarian cysts and endo which made my muscles very tight and the entire area easily irritated. Now even that pain is much more manageable.
Diff anon here, I think alot of women are unaware that treatment like this even exists, one of the threads lately was discussing the importance of pap smears and anons were insisting nothing can be done to help vaginismus so they can't ever have smear tests done
Happy to hear treatment has helped you so much
>>121510>til I cry and gag
It's sad that it needs to be said but never ever ever ever do something sexual that makes you freaking cry and gag.
Remember everyone how sex is supposed to be about pleasure? Not about feeling absolutely miserable. Then what is the point.
Yep what happened to mutual pleasure and feeling satisfied and close to your partner? Whole thread is either miserable women enduring pain from trying to perform like porn stars or women suffering from vaginismus and being mentally scarred from pain inflicted on their genitals..
Single life with a couple of sex toys sounds 100 times better than any of these shitty boyfriends
i agree i dont think women should be going through this for the sake of pleasing their dude. im the anal anon with vaginismus but my vaginismus wasnt created by trauma. i realized i had it since i was 14 and couldnt insert a tampon. I couldnt get pap smears either. Ive never been raped before or
grown up in an atmosphere that makes sex scary. The reason why I want to do all this is because I have a high sex drive and i want to do these things and I desire it not for validation but for pleasure. my bf is very vanilla and doesnt ask a lot of me to begin with.
Once i make enough money Im getting a procedure to help it. Ive already been through mental health therapy for it to figure out why I have it.
Some women just really like and desire sex but simply cant do it and its genuinely frustrating and sad.
If youre going through this, I really reccomend finding OB/GYNs that specialize in vaginismus or endometreosis, etc. Ive been through nightmare pap smears where they wouldnt listen to me or making me feel ridiculous for screaming. Its really fucking hard to find one thats knowledgable about it so you might have to look into your nearest city.
I'm a recovering BPD-chan who has been single for about a year. I'm in therapy, and a lot of what I work through are issues to do with intimacy. The only relationships I've had before have been abusive/toxic, and the sex was awful. My abusive ex would grab me in public and graphically talk/brag about the sex we had to both friends and strangers. A lot of the time it also wasn't consensual. Another ex would force me to do degrading things that I hated by manipulating me and threatening to leave me (BPD was at it worst and he also got me hooked on drugs, so I was super vulnerable). He'd pester me and made me feel so guilty that sometimes I cried until I got him off, and when I wasn't enthusiastic, he'd get mad at me. From the time I was sexually active until now, I viewed sex transactionally, that it was just a thing to do to keep people around and happy. To be fair, when my mental health was really bad, I had a lot of hardcore, fucked up kinks, which now make me feel awful about myself when I look back on it.
I was sexually active for the first time in about 6 months the other week, and afterwards I just felt dirty and used. It was completely different to the sex I'd had before, but I couldn't shake the feeling that I'd just "sold my soul" and done something insanely bad, and that I was a slut.
Sorry for the wall of text and that this is more of a vent, but how do I work through these feelings? And how can I bring this up more to my therapist without feeling uncomfortable or like a slut? Thanks in advance anons. This is really getting me down.
BPDer here too, sex has always been messy and emotional for me. I tend to either be highly sexual and sleeping around or go celibate for years at a time, there's no balance
A past ex has forced my to perform sex acts that very few people would ever consent to cos "I'll leave you if you dont, it's a necessity for me"
I know BPDers have a bad rep but alot of the time guys take advantage of our issues..
We use lube sometimes, but it hurts just as much if I'm not aroused.
Thb wondering if he reads my history, he suddenly tries way harder to please me. Pretty nice though, not going to complain