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No. 132141

One time I was having dinner with my ex and two macho guys approached us to hit on my ex because she's femme. I had to tell these guys to back off because we were on a date but then they just made some nasty comments about how hot we were together.
Any one experience similar things? Its basically a given since men take offense to gay women.

No. 132142

I feel like that only happens when one or both women are femme/attractive to the male.

my bf is butch and I'm andro in the not hot way, and we just get ignored? it's like people act like we don't exist in the same space as them. I think we got more attention back when I had long hair and was more feminine presenting.

No. 132143

I meant gf*

No. 132144

What do you do when you're straight and you accidentally get hit on by a lesbian at the club? kek

No. 132145

lmao do you all use the Her app? I'm nervous to download that shit on my phone because I'm kinda in the closet but I need a fucking relationship I'm crying

No. 132146

I have used it. Beware of troons and women already in relationships. Make sure to add a clear description of what you are looking for.

No. 132147

Also work on your confidence as a lesbian woman so that dates won't be awkward.

No. 132148

I've used it but it's too slow for me. I've had more luck with okcupid but I found out I was deactivated for turning down some troons and putting it in my bio I'm not interested in men.

No. 132149

Thanks, also I knew to watch out for troons, but didn't think about women in relationships.

No. 132150

I chatted with a woman who sneakily added "I'm in a relationship with a man" to her profile AFTER we matched. Thank god I decided to randomly look at her profile again so I could nip that in the bud.

No. 132151

women in relationships has been the bane of my existence when it comes to dating apps. Even if I put it clearly in my bio I am monogamous and don’t want to be in a relationship with a couple it gets ignored. Feels like something we will always have to deal with.

No. 132152

You politely reject her and she respects your decision because she's not Scrote McCumbrain who can't take no for an answer.

No. 132153

tfw the only person I matched with was someone I went to school with who isn't out yet
has anyone tried tinder for a gf? my last gf I found through dnd lel

No. 132154

i met my gf through tinder, we've been together over a year now and it's been great. main problem i saw with tinder is that you have to wade through a lot of couples and trannies, but i had that problem on all the other lesbian dating apps anyways.

No. 132155

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I fucking hate queer theory and I don't even know what that means bc I was never dumb enough to take gender studies in college. it was women's studies for half a year then everything changed!

No. 132156

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Seriously it's the worst kind of cancer

No. 132157

My friend has had a decent 3 year relationship with a girl she met on tindr.

No. 132158

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anyone here a lesbian in a 3rd world homophobic shithole where women barely have rights and have never had a proper relationship with another woman because of it?

yeah i wanna die. anyway tfw no gf

No. 132159

Good luck, anon. I hope you move to a better place. And surely there’s another closeted lesbian around you somewhere.

No. 132160

i'm almost 30 and i have never had any proper relationship or sex with women. i get matches on tinder and women have found me attractive so i guess if i wanted to i could find someone to sleep with but i'm too shy and i never send any messages to my matches, i'm gonna be a 40 year old virgin if i keep going on like this smh

No. 132161

Bi women in hetero relationships who feel the need to tell everyone how "gay" they are, believe they face more challenges than bi women in homo relationships, and think their hetero relationship is inherently different from a straight woman's or is actually "queer" are the worst. I hate going into some female same-sex attracted group where most of the discussion revolves around bi women talking about their husbands/boyfriends since there are way more bi women than lesbians and over 80% of bi women end up in LTRs with men. I know a lot of bi women don't want to experience homophobia by being with women but some just see women as the "lesser option" so they might want to have sex with women but then they want a "normal" married relationship with a straight man (ironically, they don't like bi men). Others are just straight women who call themselves bi to seem more interesting to men and because they think women are hot but they aren't actually sexually attracted to women.

No. 132162

lmao bi women scream about experiencing “biphopbia” all the time and how gays work with straights to “oppress” them but bi women never stop saying the vilest biphobic shit about bi men while worshipping straight men

No. 132163

high femme here,into cutesy shit like lolita (both sweet and gothic but mainly sweet i guess) and other comfy (read:nostalgic) pastel stuff. But the issue is i'm quite petite. And i feel like i'll never find a gf because of that shit but i don't wanna give up what brings me joy

No. 132164

may i add,am not into ageplay or any of the disgusting weird shit people link to the "cute" aesthetic.

No. 132165

I don't know how to go about approaching a woman for a relationship, because I have a certain kind of personality. You won't find me on Tinder or in a gay bar. I want a long term, loving monogamous relationship, similar to the husband/wife picket fence life, minus the "pants" and adopting instead.

I'm a RadFem and also politically conservative leaning. Given I live in California, most "lesbians" are troons or bisexual women claiming to be "so gay." I don't take issue with bisexuality, but most women who claim to be bi are either "curious" pick-mes open to a threesome, or are more into men and won't take your relationship as seriously.

Fuckgirls are also a thing. I've noticed many lesbians I match with on dating websites I've used try to imitate mainstream male rappers in appearance and demeanor. Do you all notice the girls with tattoos and red lipstick tend to talk like a mumble rap song? I'm not referring to ebonics. It's a weird thing I can't describe, but these women are also very sexist two I found on Instagram called their femme partners "bitches." So gross.

No. 132166

>I'm a RadFem and also politically conservative leaning
Literally how? Radical feminism was a leftist ideology started by Marxist women during the Women's Liberation Movement who had previous training in the Civil Rights Movement.

No. 132167

Lmao cali is full of fukgirls
I feel you man. In the same boat here but because I'm bi I've had more luck with men. Its difficult to find anyone who isn't super liberal here, male or female.

No. 132168

>politically conservative leaning
You sound like you’re from r/gendercritical

No. 132169

kinda in the same boat, except Im more radfemish than liberals care for. I just keep quiet 99% of the time and have a gf who is into queer stuff. it's kinda annoying sometimes, but I find it's usually just interesting to have a window into the queer libfem LGBT scene in Cali (I'd never go to those events otherwise).

No. 132170

They have obviously never actually read any radical feminist theory or history.

No. 132171

I love my girlfriend so much lol. Our friend introduced us to her TIM boyfriend on new years, and when we got home my gf turns to me and goes: "Anon, that thing is never stepping foot into our home." I hope all you anons find wonderful GC gfs!

No. 132172

The girl I'm talking to and that seems a great match for me in everything also turned out to dislike troons, lmao. I hope she won't fuck me over like the last one did.

No. 132173

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Damn I wish I had this. My gf and I were never into talking about politics until I came out as GC in the summer. Shes been escalating fights and threatening to leave me if I dont rejoin her TRA logic. It's got me filled up with enough anxiety that I might leave later on. She cant seem to grasp how it can hurt her and other women/ lesbians down the road.

No. 132174

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I'm really sorry, anon. I would've asked how is your relationship aside from this issue, but if she's even threatening to leave you if you don't kiss TRA boots she doesn't seem nice.
Anyway, many lesbians are peak transing by the day. Being on dating apps I realized how many girls I talked to were also skeeved out by troons, once the topic came out and they felt comfortable with telling me.
So I'm sure you will find a non-TRA gf! They're not rare anymore.

No. 132175

I'm not sure if I should come out to my family. I just have this feeling that it's pretty obvious that I'm not straight, and everyone is fine with it as long as I never put it into words, you know? like saying it out loud makes it worse somehow. my dad is kind of homophobic but I've only seen him react to gay males, I don't know his stance on gay women. my mom would be cool with it but she doesn't like keeping secrets from my dad, so if I tell her I'd have to tell him as well.

at the moment I'm fine with not saying anything, my sisters and some aunties are single, childless, career types, and my family accepts that, so I can easily look like that as well.

note that I am not close with any of them, except my mom, I see my immediate family during holidays only and extended family on the rare occasion some cousin gets married or has a special party.

I don't know, I guess it doesn't matter, since there's no pressure for me to pretend to be straight. just the absence of telling them I'm gay. though, i guess I'd feel guilty to tell them I'm single/lie if I had a girlfriend.

No. 132176

my family is homophobic and i'll wait to come out until i'm in a serious relationship
i feel like it's just not worth it when youre single, because what does it change? it's just uncomfortable and in theory gives anyone ammo for "but you just havent found the right man yet!!!!"
don't stress it if theres no need for you to say it right now

No. 132177

Update: she fucked me over, lmao.

No. 132178

lame. what happened?

No. 132179

>mfw browsing radfem tumblrs for That Fix
>see her reblog a post that contains a post your totes kweer gf wrote
>gf doesn't even know u know her Tumblr handle, much less you actively browse radfem blogs

this relationship is built on lies and I deserve it when it crumbles.

No. 132180

wait, kek, are you saying your gf is being called out for being an inclusive kweer dipshit on radfem tumblr? honestly that's hilarious. why are you dating a dumbass? honestly i'd dip before she finds out you're a "terf". she'll probably try to ruin your life. these ppl are nuts.

No. 132181

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Kinda don’t know where to ask this so this place is my best bet ig. I can’t tell if I’m actually just straight because I’m scared of not being “safe and stable” without a man in my life or if I’m becoming more attracted to other women because of the many pros that come with lesbianism? Ever since I started reading more radfem blogs and about how terrible and disgusting men are, and encountering that first hand with all of my exes sadly, I felt a noticeable shift in my preferences. But only in how I notice women in public and being attracted to them or actually getting nervous around pretty girls. I do, however, have a weird history of inner desires. I always preferred lesbian porn and even when having sex with my exes I would imagine that in order to feel aroused. And how my taste in men would always have to be feminine and “harmless” in order to feel safe with continuing the relationship. I just don’t know if this is some awakening that is happening now that I’m getting lonely or if its because I’m finally taking time for myself and noticing how I feel instead of pushing it aside to please others.

No. 132182

You sound like you're bi or a frustrated straight woman, not a lesbian. I know a lot of my straight female friends think there are "many pros that come with lesbianism" when it isn't easier at all. Lots of straight women wished the men they liked were more feminine because it makes them less threatening or equitable since masculinity is all about dominance. These straight women watch lesbian porn too because it focuses on things that turn them on like clitoral stimulation while straight porn is all about PIV sex. Ironically, most lesbians I know hate lesbian porn with a passion but love watching gay male porn (I don't watch porn at all).

No. 132183

>Lots of straight women wished the men they liked were more feminine because it makes them less threatening or equitable since masculinity is all about dominance

Why a lot of straight girls fawn over pretty boys, soft boys, etc. basically

No. 132184

I made a post in the vent thread, basically she was just using me as a no strings attached rebound while knowing very well what I wanted, and upon being called out she kept on contradicting herself ("Yes I was flirting because I like you" then 10 minutes later "I wasn't flirting, I was just being nice, I'm sorry that you took it that way") and denying everything.

Lesbian dating is truly life on nightmare mode. Dating tip for the future: ask her when did she have her last breakup. If it's been less than a year, run away and don't look back.

No. 132185

I don't how to explain it, but I'm attracted to both stereotypically masculine men and androgynous cute men, I don't think I have prefrence for one or the other its just I like them both

No. 132186

If you’re attracted to men then you’re not a lesbian. You could have compulsory heterosexuality but that’s not a lesbian exclusive experience since all women are pressured to be with men.

No. 132187

Im not this anon >>132181, im just a straight woman passing by explaining why some straight womeen like feminine men

No. 132188

do bi and straight women imagine lesbian porn while having sex with a man though? maybe a more attractive man, but if you have to imagine women just to get aroused sounds kinda gay to me.

No. 132189

Why are you in lesbian general then

No. 132190

I'm straight but I imagine having sex with women when I have sex with my boyfriend. But I can't get off to anything else.

No. 132191

Anon…that's bi as fuck, if not gay.

No. 132192

Maybe you're bi or are having a really shitty relationship with your boyfriend. I'm a lesbian and I hated kissing my ex-bf. I would often secretly cry afterwards. I broke up with him because he wanted to have sex and I felt suicidal imagining myself having sex with a man.

No. 132193

Do you watch a lot of porn? That can give you brain rot and heavily alter your sexual tastes. I know some men who watch so much of it that nothing can turn them on unless they're in a roleplay and there's a lot of violence involved.

No. 132194

nta, and probably not in lesbian general, but I find straight women articulating their attraction to men helpful when trying to figure out orientation. most of what we hear and know about heterosexual attraction is from brain rotted scrotes.

No. 132195

I don't think of porn when I'm having sex period lol
I'm a bi girl but I have different attractions when it comes to men and women. Maybe you just want clitorial stimulation or the sex is unfulfilling which in that case, call your man out on it.

Also I don't really consider girls bi or lesbian if they just want to have sex with girls. I've known plenty of woman going down on girls cuz some sleazeball wanted to get off to it. If you're really bi or lesbian I believe you can have genuine feelings and attraction to the same sex.

No. 132196

do all lesbians feel a viceral reaction when it comes to sex with males?

No. 132197

>Also I don't really consider girls bi or lesbian if they just want to have sex with girls. I've known plenty of woman going down on girls cuz some sleazeball wanted to get off to it.
True, I mean look at how men will literally fuck anything and there's all the straight men being "prison gay" thing. Sexual orientation is an immutable, life-long sexual attraction to one or both sexes. You don't have to be attracted to a particular sex to experience a pleasurable sensation when you do the deed. Although if you aren't attracted to that sex then it can be mentally exhausting or if you're forcing yourself into it then it can be traumatizing.

No. 132198

some lesbians feel disgust or repulsion to seeing a naked male or having sex with males. some lesbians feel no internal reaction at all- no active attraction towards men, yet they lack repulsion towards men too, so they assume they're like every other straight/bi woman who isn't attracted to her male partner.

No. 132199

I don't mind sex with him, usually it's great and he lasts a long time and always works on getting me off. But he doesn't turn me on despite being very conventionally attractive and very kind.

I don't watch porn and never have. It's disgusting.

I would love to have sex with women, does that make me bi? I never fantasize about women romantically like relationship wise.

No. 132200

I think what makes a woman (or man) bi is being sexually attracted to individuals of the same sex, not just wanting to have sex with them. That sounds like semantics, but I just mean that having sex with that woman is the turn on, not just sex in general because it feels good/because you feel hot being with a woman. You want to touch her sexually and make her orgasm and that's the appeal.

Although I imagine it's different for pillow princesses? I'm speaking as mainly a service top and my attraction to both sexes has almost nothing to do with my own body. If anyone has input on how that attraction feels please lmk.

Also I know some people don't consider someone truly bi if they don't feel romantic attraction to the both sexes. So you will never be bi to them if that's the case. On the fence myself since I do want to date both, so idk.

And an apology from me for not being a lesbian and posting itt.

No. 132201

This is why the Kinsey scale can be pretty useful. Everything that isn't 0 or 6 can technically be considered bi, with 3 being "le true bisexual 50/50 man/woman", which isn't actually that common. Bicurious is probably the best term for someone like that anon there. I would also personally define bisexuality as someone who is capable of feeling both romantic and sexual feelings for both sexes, though it of course doesn't have to be 50/50. But people are free to identify as they like, really.

And now speaking of nothing, any other lesbian anons stuck in the middle of nowhere really worried they will end up alone or have to resort to LDRs? I live in an pretty small town in northern Europe, which does have a chapter of the national LGBT organisation, but the VAST majority of events they host are trans based. I have no issues with dating apps, but you just see the same people over and over again. I also don't mind LDRs but I'm just getting too old for that shit… I'm probably moving to an even smaller town soon and my chances of meeting someone will be even slimmer then. It just feels hopeless.

No. 132202

I think it's worth going to all LGBT gatherings, despite there being trans people. You don't have to date them if it's not your type, and most people are understanding of that in the offline world.

It's so hard to meet other lesbians if you avoid LGBT events unfortunately.

No. 132203

Well the only regular event they have is a trans support group, then about every 6 month they host a party night, which I do go to. And if I do move I won't even have that, which really sucks.

No. 132204

Maybe you just aren’t in love with your boyfriend? Bisexual women are capable of falling in love with other women. A lot of straight women can “experiment” with other women but they’re never going to form a romantic attachment.

No. 132205

That's why I usually label myself as straight.
I will leave you guys alone now! Sexuality is always an interesting topic.

No. 132206

I noticed how common it is in lesbian communities to just hit on many girls without having any actual intention and flirt just as a way to be friendly. I don't do it, actually it weirds me out a lot. And as a result, I've been led on sometimes and now when a girl flirts with me I just ignore her because I'm sure that she's just joking. Anyone can relate? Am I the one meeting weird lesbians or is it like this everywhere?

No. 132207

I think most of us feel nothing about males when we are young girls but as society keeps pushing us to be with men, we force ourselves to date men, men harass us thinking they can change our sexuality, or if we experience corrective rape then we develop disgust for males. Straight women can be terrible to lesbians but they aren't violent and sexual threats like males who feel offended that you aren't attracted to them. Of course for some lesbians they never have these experiences with men or avoided them entirely so they continue to feel nothing.

No. 132208

Anyone else have this complex, I absolutely hate the thought of having sex with any type of man or having romantic relationship with men and im 100% sure Im not straight but…. I like cuddling with men more than I do with women, Its wierd I know it sends the wrong message

No. 132209

I don't see anything wrong with non-sexual cuddles and you can definitely still be a lesbian/not straight and enjoy wholesome human touch. Some guys give really nice big bear hugs.

No. 132210

Its still something you can't easily bring up your male friends without sending wrong the message

No. 132211

Cuddling is fine, like it's pretty common for gay men and straight women to cuddle and paint each other's nails and shit.

No. 132212

>like it's pretty common for gay men and straight women to cuddle and paint each other's nails and shit.
I want a reverse version of this relationship, a hetorsexual male best friend to hangout with and who I can cuddle with but there's nothing sexual

No. 132213

It's hard because straight men are always shitty. Even if gay men have male socialisation at least they don't have sexual attraction to a women so that's why straight women think they aren't threatening.

No. 132214

Literally only met one dyke tyke in my life (and he was probably bi) while fag hags are everywhere.

No. 132215

I thought they were called lesbros

No. 132216

Both are used.

No. 132217

Is there a tactful way to bring up my gf's health and suggest she try to be healthier? She's a smoker, hits the fast food pretty hard, and doesn't exercise. I'm a former ana-chan and I'm pretty obsessed with my health after all the damage I did to myself… I want my girlfriend to take care of herself too. The way she coughs all the time and breathes so heavy freaks me out. I'm just worried it'll come off like I want her to lose weight, and honestly it's not that at all because I love her.

No. 132218

I'm one of those, I never felt anything for guys really. I was never sure what to say when other women in my family gushed bout male celebrities. When they tried to say some guy was cute and apparently hitting on me too. All my straight relationships had no feelings so I broke them off. Never had sex with a guy, had more relationships with women. Hard considering I'm full lesbian rather than bi at this point. At least in my lesbian relationships I really loved them plus didn't mind the idea of possible sex.

No. 132219

Would it be offensive to a butch if I asked if she's really a girl or not? I'm doing online dating and I can't tell if this person is a man pretending to be a lesbian(happens all the time) or a very androgynous butch.

No. 132220

Anyway, she actually told me she wants to quit smoking and start going for hikes together again without me mentioning anything, so it worked out!

No. 132221

do you find petite women into cute stuff attractive or is that too childish? i'm fucking tired of being 5'3 and have small tits. I got soft thighs though.
Maybe i've been brainwashed by what men like but i keep worrying no woman will find me attractive besides my past girlfriends

No. 132222

I'm a 5'8" femme and I love short girly girls so much, probably my ideal type looks wise. I don't care about breast size at all, I honestly don't think most women do. Maybe a certain type of butch who's into extremely "feminine" women, but in general I don't think women care as much about tit size as straight guys do.

No. 132223

You're giving me such hope anon.
I can only hope both of us find love.
My ideal would be growing old with my gf and fight by her side (and marry her to be able to have the swordfighting lesbian wedding of my dreams)

No. 132224

I feel you, I live in bumfuck nowhere and its a fucking struggle specially in the small ass town I live in. Everyone here is a jesus freak and the gay people are the joke of the town no one takes them seriously and they are secluded by everyone. My parents and siblings know Im gay but they tell me not to let anyone else know because it will "bring disgrace and ridicule to the family and you will end up like the other gays" so in the closet I go. I am 100% sure I'll die alone despite what the Sonic Totem at /ot/ tells me so I know how you feel fam.

No. 132225

Personally no, I think they're childish.

No. 132226

My straight female friends at uni don't know I'm a lesbian and when we go out clubbing they do drunken ironic sexy dancing/grinding against each other, including against me. It's the worst most awkward thing in the world and makes me feel so uncomfortable and like a predator! I don't know what to say to put them off that won't make them think they were tricked in retrospect and won't make me seem like an asexual autist freak. Last time it was my male friend's girlfriend who I had just met that night. Do you guys have to cope with this and how do you play it off?

No. 132227

Are you >>132163?

How small of a town? Like everyone knows everyone or in less than 1 day all three towns around each other know everyone's business? Also don't give up hope, there's probably another closeted lesbian living there. That sounds sucky that though with coming out and being secluded, do they treat them like air or like they've caught the plague?

No. 132228

No but shit that could as well be me given i do wear the fashion on my free time out of uni

No. 132229

I dunno, I thought my friends did it because they found it hot in some way and I didn't mind so I always just went along with it and never thought much of it but maybe I'm being creepy???
I also stopped going to clubs altogether because I honestly can't stand another strange male grinding up on me out of nowhere

No. 132230

girls are mean to me does this mean they wanna kiss me?

doesn't make sense since men are absolute cunts to me too

tfw no gf

No. 132231

Two days late but I guess I would like to make you feel better too by answering. I love short/petite girls. I also like cute stuff but I don't wear it cause it's not a style I'm comfortable with, I would totally date a lolita/pastel girl since I find it attractive when people are confident with what they like.
I'm quite femme btw

Good luck anon, you'll find love for sure

No. 132232

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I'm >>132158
and update:
I tried online dating and found a date! I am super paranoid that she is going to be a man catfishing or some trap to out me to my family and friends but I'm going to give it a shot. Wish me luck, anons.

No. 132233

You shouldn't give up what brightens up your life anon, lolita fashion is beautiful imo. Did you have any past gfs that didnt like your life style? Anyway dont stress it I'm sure you'll find a kindred spirit or just someone who really appreciates the fashion as well as you.

No. 132234

Best of luck anon! and be careful take some maze spray just in case keep us updated!

No. 132235

It really feels like I'll never find love.
I'm a nearly 23 kissless virgin. I never kissed boys cause they disgust me, and I never kissed girls cause there was none to kiss.
I'm from an European country, people here are religious but there's also a lot that are pro-gay, so it's not super bad. And yet, I can't find someone to date me.
I tried dating apps, nothing ever came of it.. I went to 5 dates in 4 years and honestly I hate how due to the dating pool being so small, I even had to meet up with some of them. The last girl I saw was so fundamentally different from me.. a bully that doesn't like "nerds" and "weebs" and loves to drink and party.. we had absolutely nothing in common, but I met up with her cause there was no one else interested in me.
It's depressing, I would love to move to a different, bigger city or to move out of the country but I'm still in UNI and there's no option like that for me.
I wish I could not feel shame about being kissless, but I do. I'm a grown woman and no one ever thought I'm cute enough to even hold my hand, I was never wanted.. not even by boys.
I know my personality isn't the best, but.. even the worst people seem to be getting dates, but not me.
Oh well, I'm trying to get over it anyway. Sorry if this is more of a rant thread post, but I thought I may find some consolation in fellow lesbians..

No. 132236

I'd hold your hand and smooch you anon

No. 132237

Which country is it, anon? Sounds like mine

No. 132238

Italy. We have the Vatican, sure. Old people hate gays.. right. But the younger generation doesn't seem to mind.

No. 132239

Ayrt and I'm from Italy as well, ayy

No. 132240

Don't feel bad anon, if it helps you to know, I'm 30 and I'm still a kissless lesbian virgin myself but it's mostly due to the place I live in super closed minded and you get harassed and possibly raped (men being like "I'll fuck the gay out of you") if you come out as gay so yehhh you're not alone in your suffering anon, hopefully you do find someone but yeah never settle for less!

No. 132241

meh, I live in a huge city with a big gay history (San Francisco) and it's not any better; I'm a literal sperg who spent too much time growing up on imageboards. Everyone is super queer and drunk the trans koolaid, unless they're super normie, but those types are always normie4normie. Anyone with the slightest non-normie interest is a raging pro-trans "queer".

No. 132242

exactly the point I was trying to make.. it's very hard to find girls that aren't "normies" but to be honest here in Italy not EVERYONE is pro-trans. the other italian anon may know it too but a lot of lesbians carry the the same ideals as we do here on 2x, they just dont speak about it up front and you have to dig a bit. I'm honestly glad we aren't as far gone as the US.
But yeah I wish I could meet a sperg like you irl, I may sound like a pick-me "not like the other girls" type but I honestly have nothing in common with some of the girls I met. I don't think I'm better or anything, I'm just not interested in the party scene and would rather prefer someone who is into the same stuff as me.

No. 132243

Someone I dated briefly just "came out" as a demisexual cislesbian, so basically a normal lesbian but that needs special kweer titles nowadays. Phew glad I dodged that one.

No. 132244

Yikes. I remember when I was 16 I thought I was asexual cause Tumblr told me so. Then I switched to demisexual.. then I realized I'm just a normal human being.
I really wish for all the young girls in that phase to see the truth for what it is like I eventually did.

No. 132245

Yeah kids don't need all those confusing, dumb extra labels that describes being a normal human.
This lady is 25 though so it's kinda sad.

No. 132246

Italy anon here and I know what you mean. Here I can only find boring as fuck lesbians, or bisexuals just willing to experiment. The only women I actually click with either live in another continent or turn out to be "emotionally unavailable".

No. 132247

anon we should just date each other

No. 132248

I know this is an old post but are you me? I'm 28 but in a few months I'll be 29. I live in a small country where most of the youth is anti gay. It's just terrible. The dating apps are a disaster, it's either couples, woman pretending to be lesbian only to disclose later that she's with her bf/husband, or really older women (40+) that have families, children etc, or extremely young girls (18-19yo) who for some reason want to hook up with me. Also single moms that suddenly want nothing to do with men. And the few women that are around my age and lesbian, well, we just don't click.
I know that I have no other way but to move to a bigger city to start properly dating and most likely abroad too, but that's easier said than done. I think I'll just say fuck it and have casual sex with a woman in my proximity even if it leads to nothing.
I just wanted to commiserate but I hope you find someone. I know a few lesbian couples that have met in their late 30s even 40s and have been happily together ever since so that fills me with joy and gives me hope that I'll experience something as well.

No. 132249

Any tips on how not to feel like I'm a gross predator and objectifying women?

I'm bi, been with a man for 6 years and we broke up 2 years ago and since then I pretty much lost interest in men, but I feel bad everytime I catch myself looking at cute girls at the gym or anywhere because idk, I feel like I shouldn't?
I'm also another anon who's from a third world country and can't really meet other bi/lesbian women since it's like they barely exist. Then again the balkans isn't the most accepting place of the lgbt.

No. 132250

I actually wouldn't mind exchanging contacts before admin pulls the plug on this board.

No. 132251

you can give me your discord if you want

No. 132252

I weirdly feel the same. I tend to look at cute women when they pass me by, but I also feel like an old creepy dude when I do. That realization and the feeling of shame however is what sets us apart from the males, so that's good.
But overall, unless you're being too weird about it or have actual bad intentions you shouldn't feel like a predator. I think in both of our cases, we're probably still just a bit ashamed of our sexuality.
Are you out anon? If you're not, then maybe that what it is. You probably feel like you're doing something you're not supposed to cause you're still trying to hide who you really are.

No. 132253


No. 132254

i cant find you, but the lolcow discord has a friend finder channel so i'll leave a message there

No. 132255

> Then again the balkans isn't the most accepting place of the lgbt.
Where in the balkans are you? I'm in Croatia.
> I catch myself looking at cute girls at the gym or anywhere because idk, I feel like I shouldn't?
I get that feeling too and I wish I knew how to stop myself from doing that. Also, I'm often going on short trips with my friends and they don't have any qualms about undressing in front of me or sharing a bed. If they ever find out (because I'm still in the closet), they're going to get the wrong idea.

No. 132256

I'm out and pretty open about it, but most people don't care or don't take me serious since I've only been with a man. Idk at this point really

Also Croatia! But up north around Varaždin
Idk, most women never had an issue with it, then again I never had really close friends to begin with

No. 132257

I'm not in the lc discord. Maybe temporarily change your username, post it here and after I add you you can change it back

No. 132258

> Also Croatia! But up north around Varaždin
Noice, I'm in the Kvarner bay.
> Idk, most women never had an issue with it, then again I never had really close friends to begin with
I had a mixed experience. Since I'm in the closet a few women openly told me how they felt about gays and lesbians, and I was shocked when they had nothing but hatred for them. They were from conservative families and "religious". I'm obviously not friends with them, but due to uni and later work, you bump into them and after chatting for a while the LGBT topic came up a few times and there you go.
However, I also know a good number of women that don't care or that are supportive so there's that. I don't think my friends would mind. I do feel predatory for being around them and not telling them and since I'll probably die alone, I'm not sure if it's worth coming out of the closet anyway.
If there's one thing that's good about being a lesbian or bi in your case, it's that we're not usually taken seriously enough for others to go out of their way to bring harm. A lot of men that hate gays are okay with lesbians for that very reason.

No. 132259


No. 132260

honest question: do lesbians truly use the gold star term? It sounds extremely objectifying to me (liks you are mares or something) and why the fuck would you value anyone more or less depending if they had a misfortune of having a dick stuck into them? What about rape victims?
Please explain to me if it's not that deep or I'm misunderstanding. I just don't get why lesbians would use such a phallocentric category to describe themself. It's as creepy as the concept of virginity.

No. 132261

It went well! She is very normie and nice and she had on this really cute pantsuit and we went out to a lounge, had a few drinks, then went for noodles and even held hands. We have been talking non-stop ever since. We're both in the closet but being in the closet might not be so bad with her there with me.

No. 132262

highly seconding this

No. 132263

I've seen lesbians online hardcorely sticking to that term, but not irl. Which leads me to think most of those were very likely larping scrotes.

However I want to know what do other lesbians think about it too.

No. 132264

I think it's okay to have a preference. Obviously not when it comes to rape victims but I personally, would like someone that hasn't been with a man voluntarily.
That doesn't mean I don't consider women that used to date men as lesbians if they feel that way. And it's not even a 100% no-no, it's just a preference. I don't use the term gold star.

No. 132265

Fear that non-gold stars aren't lesbians at all but straight women looking for a fun "experiment" or bi women who just want to have lesbian fuckbuddies so she won't be committed to you because she only thinks straight relationships are "real relationships". My friend was in a relationship with a bi woman for a few months and she broke up with her after she found out she was already in a committed relationship with a man the entire time. He was fine with her going out to have sex with other women (not other men though) because he didn't consider it to be "cheating" and she thought he was so "feminist", "open-minded" and "understanding".

No. 132266

Lesbians already live in a phallocentric world and always get asked how they can know they're a lesbian if they haven't slept with a man or that they will eventually find a man who can "turn" them. Compulsory heterosexuality affects every woman so I don't doubt lesbians who have slept with men to be homosexual.

I don't use the term "gold star" nor do I care about someone's sexual history but it's primarily used in the gay community to prove "how gay they are", especially with lesbians, because a lot of women who call themselves "lesbian" aren't lesbian at all. Much of the vitriol is targeted at bi women because they are believed to prioritize heterosexual relationships. Many lesbians have personally experienced bi women playing around with their emotions and only using them for fun because they would never get into a serious relationship with another woman.

I'm open to dating a bi woman and I quite like some of them but I do get annoyed with bi women who call themselves "lesbian" or claim to understand the lesbian experience even though their sexual attraction to men makes it impossible for any lesbian to relate.

No. 132267

I always thought Megan Fox was a weird example of a bi woman who has only ever been in relationships with men and she said she would be happy with being a woman but only if that woman had never had sex with a man before because then it "tainted" her…even though she is married to a man and has 4 kids with him. I really don't understand what is going through her head.

No. 132268

I have a complicated relationship with the gold star term because I used to hate it because it put value on lesbians on whether they had touched a penis or not but I've noticed it's also used as a safeguard against fauxbians and it makes troons super mad because of the penis-exclusion. Just search up gold star lesbian on Google and see how it's a bunch of libfem sites shitting on it with Riley saying: "I've seen them rejecting the notion that a trans woman could possibly be 'gold star', that lesbians who have been with trans women can't be 'gold star', that any sex with a penis-owning person disqualifies you."

No. 132269

holy fuck, r/actuallesbians goes into a spergout any time "gold star" is brought up

No. 132270

I always thought the term started off as a joke and it only became well known because of The L Word.

No. 132271

> she said she would be happy with being a woman but only if that woman had never had sex with a man before because then it "tainted" her…even though she is married to a man and has 4 kids with him. I really don't understand what is going through her head.
oh wow, she's nuts

No. 132272

Oh, definitely.
>With regard to relationships and her sexuality, Fox said that she has a general distrust and dislike of men, and that the perception of her as a "wild and crazy sexpot" is false because she is asocial and has only been sexually intimate with her "childhood sweetheart" and Brian Austin Green; she stated that she would rather stay at home instead of going out, and emphasized that she cannot have sex with someone she does not love. She is bisexual, and said she believes that "all humans are born with the ability to be attracted to both sexes". "I have no question in my mind about being bisexual," Fox stated. "But I'm also a hypocrite: I would never date a girl who was bisexual, because that means they also sleep with men, and men are so dirty that I'd never want to sleep with a girl who had slept with a man."

No. 132273

What would be some relationship red flags for lesbians? The /g/ thread doesn't apply much in our case, because for example having many female friends for a woman is normal.

No. 132274

She has an ex and she just started dating again lmao

No. 132275

this specially if her ex was a moid

Also someone who is a full on "yandere" or someone who wants you to show her your phone 24/7 (or tries to snoop in to your stuff) avoid at all costs!

No. 132276

If it's a moid it isn't a real lesbian, stop with this insecure shit

An actual lesbian is super likely to get back with a recent ex or a long term ex. Happens all the time during ghostings too.

No. 132277

Did anyone seriously consider that they were asexual or were you otherwise volcel? I spent years of my life thinking I was going to become a nun because I couldn't bear the thought of marrying and living with a man (and as a nun I could live with my best gal pals forever!) I thought romantic love just wasn't possible for me, and sex was confusing and made me feel guilty anyway. I wish younger lesbians wouldn't have to go through that, but now I guess they're just pressured to troon out or date troons.

No. 132278

I've noticed it's pretty common for lesbians to think they're asexual.

No. 132279

Yep! Totally thought I'm asexual for 2 years of my teen life. I even came out to my friend as an asexual bi-romantic or something like that.
But no, I'm just a lesbian with a low sex drive.

No. 132280

I thought I was asexual until my early 20s. I had two short term relationships with men and both ended because I couldn't imagine let alone have sex with them. I just figured I was asexual until I met a girl. She was bi and we just fondled and kissed during a party. I never saw her again but that night, I never masturbated as much as I did in my life to that day. It's like it all finally came together. I also had fantasies of becoming a nun even though I wasn't religious. When I saw my childhood friend with her boyfriend, it broke my heart. We used to plan to become nuns together or open a beach bar and spend our days together on the beach. I never thought I had such feelings for her. I don't know why it never occurred to me that I was lesbian.

No. 132281

lol i used to think about becoming a nun too. i used to think that i'm asexual and/or that csa had ruined my sexuality and turned me into lesbian.

No. 132282

AYRT I also had intense feelings for my best friend that I didn't recognize as more than friendship and felt incredibly betrayed when she got (a very ugly /r9k/ type) boyfriend.
I also experienced CSA and wondered if that's why I'm a lesbian, but actually I think CSA made it harder for me to realize I liked women because I associated sex with negativity and pain and didn't connect those concepts to other girls. I also really struggled with worrying that I was in some way hurting women by being sexually attracted to them because being lusted after by grown men was very scary. Things are better now though and I have a really amazing girlfriend who helps me through my PTSD and always supports me.

No. 132283

same, csa made it really hard for me to accept/realize that i'm a lesbian. it was such a good scapegoat for me as a teenager, to think to myself that the only reason i fantasize about other girls is because men have hurt me, and some day when i learn to like men i stop having these feelings for women. i still worry today that i am hurting other women by being attracted to them.

No. 132284

File: 1579982449769.jpeg (102.76 KB, 640x480, ENSP-ScXUAEPyVc.jpeg)

Sorry if it's a stupid question, but I have no one to talk about this.
How do I know if I'm a lesbian or bisexual?
Sex with guys was never exciting but I never did it with girls…

No. 132285

What is your preferred material to shlick to?
Erotica, fanart of women,let them be orc women or human woman, and
(good) fanfics for me because i'm forever an autistic nerd.

I realized after dating one single guy and kissing him tbh. It felt wrong. I could shlick to fanfics with anime men in it but it also felt weird when i passed 15yo and had my first girlfriend. And as it went,i just couldn't imagine being in a loving relationship with a man without getting goosebumps,and thinking about IRL sex with one grossed me out too, even trying to fantasize about it made me feel dirty.

No. 132286

File: 1579993552737.jpg (676.93 KB, 1920x1240, 1920px-Philippe_Van_Bree-Works…)

Where can you find beautiful erotic photos of women that aren't obviously by and for men or from the porn industry?

No. 132287

this might sound retarded, but I just don't really like the way women look like with makeup on? I've come to realize that it really affected me in terms of realizing and accepting my sexuality. Makeup and over the top performances of femininity.

I don't mean that I'm solely into butches. I'm into women of all "gender presentations", but not high femme, I guess. After reflecting, I feel like there was a gap in my attraction to women my age, which coincides with the time most women start learning how to apply make up and be attractive for men. It kind of fucked me up because while I wasn't attracted to men, I wasn't attracted to what (straight male) society deemed highly attractive women either. I ended up buying into the "hearts not parts" idea and tried finding "the right man" since I'm autistic and vibe more with men sometimes.

There were practical femme types I remember meeting and being lowkey into, but the internalized lesbophobia was a lot to deal with. I feel guilty because I'm not old and could have found peace much earlier if I wasn't such a coward. I don't know why I was so avoidant of even looking up lgbt stuff back then.

No. 132288

I'm bi so disregard this if you want, but this is how I feel too.

No. 132289

Also bi and also find a lot of artifice unattractive. Lips covered in paint are not inviting to kiss, overly styled hair isn't inviting to touch.

No. 132290

is it weird i find "futanari" hot (nothing too anime though,i'm not a weeb but i enjoy it in some art styles) but i'd rather kms than date or fuck a troon or even touch a real dick?
girls with straps are superior but it's hard to find art with them more than it is to find futa shit i guess?? still,i wonder if i'm weird,huh.

No. 132291

Same, I find makeup in general to be very unattractive.

No. 132292

Lesbians are actually attracted to women so they’re more accepting of how women look in their natural state, straight men are attracted to hyper feminine caricatures of women where they think any woman who doesn’t shave is automatically a man.

No. 132293

I am the same. I hate how make-up and a lot of “female clothes” look on women because it symbolises this submission to males and looks too artificial. It is probably why I think butch lesbians and makeup-free women look more attractive. I love sporty girls with muscles or chubby girls too. The stick-thin appearance a lot of straight women prefer looks infantilizing and straight men say they like curvy women but that only means giant tits and ass and no fat anywhere else.

No. 132294

Lol a lot of men are convinced that women don’t even have body hair which is why body hair removal is a part of gender transition. They also get disturbed by the fact that women have bodily functions like pooping.

No. 132295

Is it possible to get a gf on tinder?
I wanna read a success story before trying it.

No. 132296

Yes, they've been together for 2 years but that bitch is crazy and I hope my friends dumps that psychotic cunt

No. 132297

I get you, anon. I recently saw an acquaintance without makeup on for the first time I was genuinely shocked by how stunning she is (she's a makeup pro). I really hate the current makeup trend of stage/drag makeup on women because it's so unflattering and cakey. I also dislike the conspicuous consumerism that dominates the makeup community and I wouldn't be able to put up with that in a relationship.
I met my gf on Tinder! We matched and I put off meeting her for months because I felt so out of her league, but she really pursued me! When we finally went out everything just clicked and we pretty much have spent 80% of our time together ever since! We definitely u-hauled kek and I can't imagine life without her now. She's literally everything I ever dreamed of when I fantasized about my future and I can't believe I'm so lucky.

No. 132298

I'll miss this thread when /2x/ dies

I feel so alone being a lesbian at times

No. 132299

That's a really cute story, I'm happy for you anon!

Someone asked admin to save this thread once /2X/ gets archived and she said yes, so I think we safe.

No. 132300

Oh I'd not seen that, I hope the thread continues. I know it's pretty pathetic of me to admit on an anonymous gossip site but I do feel very isolated because of my sexuality - even posting on /clg/ gets lonely at times. Hope you have a lovely day.

No. 132301

This is gonna be a bit of a vent, I like being a lesbian, I really do, but I've experienced a lot of traumatic shit because of it. I was badly abused by my family because of it, lost jobs, faced discrimination in college, was shunned out of my church, and most of entire family. I'm nearly middle aged now, and have a stable life in spite of all that shit in my past but still I'm alone amd I just don't have on outgoing personality, I have a couple of great guy friends, as per my interests are bit more male-dominated but… I would like to have at least one girlfriend or even just one female friend

No. 132302

I'll be your female friend anon! I know how you feel they say that people are more accepting these years but there's still many places where being gay is frowned upon. Hang in there tho there's many of us that are in a similar situation, don't let anyone make you feel less for this.

No. 132303

File: 1580521147972.jpg (40.37 KB, 667x500, b289151ac3cdd60616449f6b718a29…)

Filing for divorce tomorrow… for a long time I thought I was a narcissist or sociopath or just someone incapable of love, I finally understood who I was after a few months of soul searching. There were so many signs, notably the fantasizing and hooking up with girls since high school. Wearing boys clothes and my best friends yelling at me for it. Finding men physically repulsive. And every single one just went right over my head.
I do love my husband. There was never a doubt. Even if ur not attracted to a person you can love them deeply. Like the love you have for your mother or sister or cousin or child. and I think that's why It tooke me so long to come out, Having to hurt the person you love the most and made a promise to isn't easy, I do wish it didn't have to be this way but we both deserve beteer

No. 132304

File: 1580555902054.gif (956.9 KB, 490x268, nNT78nB.gif)

Welcome to the club, nonny! That was really brave of you!

No. 132305

File: 1580568334485.jpg (21.25 KB, 783x391, images.jpg)

>I do love my husband. There was never a doubt.
>Also you think you're a lesbian
how are you in love with someone who you're not ever capable of being attracted to ?

No. 132306

Good luck, anon! It feels so liberating to finally be able to like and love who you really want.

She said she loves him like a sibling or cousin or child, not that she's in love with him.

No. 132307

Do you only love people you want to fuck, anon?

No. 132308

It’s a familial and platonic love not a romantic or erotic love.

No. 132309

This may sound a bit odd but congratulations on your divorce, anon!

No. 132310

Don't know how to word this without sounding ESL, but what does it feel like to be attracted to women?

I'm still trying to sort out my feelings on sexuality in general… I know for a fact that men are repulsive to me, but how do I know if I'm into women? I find women pretty and fantasize about being with one but I've never actually been in a situation where a real life woman has turned me on. Sure, sometimes models or women in porn have been attractive to me but I don't count porn as being a good indicator of healthy sexuality for obvious reasons. Help me, anons.

What does it feel like to be a gay woman and how do you know if you're gay?

No. 132311

When you fall for women irl, then you know.

No. 132312

How old are you and do you have any experience with either sex?

No. 132313

I'm not sure how to explain, but I kind of relate to straight men when they describe their attraction to women.

No. 132325

File: 1580906796638.jpeg (78.93 KB, 610x610, B2D51FB3-7370-426D-A818-6859FA…)

I want to wear matching clothes with a cute girl and take stupid pics together

No. 132326

It's sad how this hasn't been answered. By that I mean almost all drawings of women are made for men's pleasure. Maybe search up lesbian artists?

No. 132356

Just need somewhere to vent. I'm really upset cuz I have attraction to women (first person I was sexually interested in was a girl) but due to an abusive relationship+homophobia I faced in my early teens it's like it's a mental block.

I've tried dating men, I've tried having sex with men. It never lasted and I never enjoyed it.

I just want a cute gf :(

No. 132364

You just sound just like a friend of mine anon, she had awful experiences with girls in high school (abusive) and her second GF was also abusive, but to a lesser extent. She's now dating a guy and I always wonder if its because of her bad experiences before. I'm not in her brain obviously but she identified as a lesbian, never bi, until I guess now. I don't have any great advice for you but I really hope you find a cute, nice girl. Maybe some actual lesbians can give you advice, and not just me, friend of lesbian.

No. 132373

honestly same, I wish most girls didn't find matching outfits corny af.. those in that pic are so cute too :((

No. 132388

trannies begone

No. 132405

File: 1580944747749.jpg (55.28 KB, 564x775, 107f0c53d11a68fc7d6c795107f4b1…)


Tbh when I saw >>132325 post, thought the same thing. Always freaking weeb clothes and/or striped socks.

No. 132412

All I want in life is a rich mommygf to take me out of ky homophobic islamic shithole and abusive home and let me love and serve her in gratitude forever. Instead I'll probably have to fake being into a guy or if a miracle happens - find a gay guy in a similar situation to be my beard while I date a woman who for some reason is okay with the weird arrangement.

Who am I kidding none of this will ever happen and I'll kill myself before I get to experience being happy and comfortable with my sexuality and being in a normal loving relationship with a beautiful woman. Fuck this earth

No. 132421

finding a gay male partner might be your most realistic and practical option, then you two can leave your shithole country quietly, which country do you live in btw

No. 132461

I have no idea how to go about this though, don't know where to find them. All the gays I knew in university didn't come from as strict of a family so they don't need a beard. (Somewhere in North Africa btw)

No. 132558

>somewhere in North Africa btw
Stay strong, I won't say I know what it's like because I only ever visited my family there and never actually "lived" there, but my own parents in France would absolutely murder me if I were in your situation for similar reasons. I personally plan on staying single forever because that's less trouble and risks of anyone finding out anything about me.

No. 132601

never had a crush on anyone male or female. I do get sexually turned on by women only though.

No. 132694

Anyone can't deal with how fucking cute and perfect women are?
I'm in this group chat for this project I'm working on and they're just talking about their crushes and love issues and they're always so considerate and cute with how they talk about them. Like through the lens of a woman in love, everything is just rose-colored and brimming with optimism and genuine care and affection. Idk. Women. Women are great.

No. 132716

You are one of the cute ones

No. 132761

File: 1581513960677.gif (1.95 MB, 500x281, reinakumiko.gif)

For the first time ever in my life, I have a Valentine! …and potential GF, but it isn't official yet. She's coming over to my place to cook dinner for us for Valentines and I'm just so happy and excited and so, so nervous. Wish me luck, anons.

No. 132766

Good luck anon! I kinda want an update on how this goes

No. 132793

gf and I broke up, just in time for Valentine's. I'm strangely not sad about it so it's probably a good thing in the end. just a bit sad I hurt her feelings so much, she deserves better than me.

No. 132800

I am just wondering … if I am really bi if I always loose interest in guys too quickly.
That is why I ask you guys.
I also have nothing positive from them.
On the other hand girls are most of the time really understanding an all that. I always had more female friends and my male friends always ditched me when I didn’t want to have sex with them EVER.

No. 132801

are you sexually attracted to guys?
are you sexually attracted to girls?

yes? you're bi.

don't overthink it anon

No. 132842

Sounds like you are bi but men have just been shitty to you so you're cautious around them

I'm bi but my disliking of men (based on shitty exes) makes me wish I was lesbian. Would make life simpler lol

No. 132867

It didn't go as planned. I had a horrible day at work leading up to it and was really stressed out but she was really understanding. She came over with ice cream and we ordered takeout and then we spooned and she caressed my hair while we talked about how shitty our bosses are and vented. Then we watched Aggretsuko on Netflix…kissed a bit, held hands. Not a super romantic Valentine's…but she made all of my worries melt away.

No. 132870

I'm bi but my dating experiences with other girls have been lackluster. They're all identical in my area, lack conviction or an actual personality, generally liberal in the worst ways. They usually end up talking to multiple people at once or not being serious. I don't have time for those games.
Dating men on the other hand is easier but boring, both romantically and sexually.

No. 132894

feel bad but I've been monitoring her SM. she's not taking it well and blaming herself for not doing more for a piece of shit like me. wish I could just tell her it's not worth the brain cycles, and I wouldn't have done more anyway (I'm happier now), but I know that's just life. it's her first breakup and another one in a long line for me.

No. 133073

Strong gf goals.

No. 133114

>They usually end up talking to multiple people at once or not being serious.
This is just how young people date casually. Where are you meeting these women? What guys do you know that aren't talking to multiple girls? Are you bi or just pornsick and think that boobs are "hot"

No. 133207

>download dating app kinda like tinder but just for women
>only get two likes
>by men
>not even troons, masculine ass bearded men

I know dating apps are shit but this did not help with my self esteem. Also sucks that there are so many men even though they clearly say women only.

No. 133221

I'm a closeted lesbian and it wasn't until a few years ago that I even admitted it to myself (despite knowing it since puberty), and even now I tell people I'm bi because I'm still too embarrassed to admit I have literally no interest in men. However I'm extremely insecure about my sexuality and have a hard time dating because of this, and I'm deadly scared of ever coming out to my family. They're not all horribly homophobic but I know some of them would probably disown me for having a girlfriend. Do any of you have experience of this situation and what made it easier for you to "forgive" yourself for being gay and feel comfortable with your sexuality?

No. 133251

File: 1582464461075.jpeg (89.83 KB, 851x765, 1575962129101.jpeg)

wow thank you for posting this i relate so hard… i keep coming out to people as "bi" even though i know i will never ever experience romantic or sexual attraction to a guy… it just seems easier to pretend like im still "normal" which is so fucked up to say… wish i had any advice for you (and myself lol) but i dont. idk i hope itll get better with time…

No. 133323

bi gf dumped me saying she's still questioning her sexuality and doesn't want to make it my problem. she still wants to have sex with me though. if i were a stronger woman i'd move on but i don't know any other gay girls near me and i have such a high sex drive i can't function if i'm not sucking clit regularly. goddamn i hate this. i loved her so much. wish she'd told me she wasn't looking for anything serious months ago. sorry for blogpost

No. 133332

File: 1582596827534.jpg (4.11 KB, 260x275, 1565071773965.jpg)

What am I if I'm a virgin and don't like the idea of sex? I've dated more women than men, and all the gfs I had I actually loved. They only ended from the other side or because they'd cheated. My bfs I dated because I felt bad they liked me but I broke up with all them. I can get off to the idea of gay or straight sex. I find men cute I guess if they look nice physically but not in a 'let's fuck' way. Women I find beautiful and maybe if I really loved her I wouldn't mind trying something sexual. Always labeled myself bisexual because I don't hold a large disgust towards men. They just arent someone I want to end up with as my long term partner. I think I'm also scared if I was lesbian rather than bi my family would disown me. My parents always shit talked gay couples and called them its, things, a gross spectacle.

No. 133341

Women have such cute personalities compared the garbage heap that is men, but I'm essentially asexual, so dating seems pointless and currently like a big political statement with implication that saying you are any sexuality (including straight) infers a highly sexual relationship surrounded by porn and dildos at all times. We need a word for cuddly platonic relationships to make it easier for asexual and sex averse people to find each other.

No. 133363

you mean like… friendship?

No. 133380

you sound like a deeply repressed lesbo or a bi girl with a preference

No. 133382

imo if you can get off to the idea of sex but don't like it at all irl you might have some kind of intimacy block. ofc sometimes sex irl is just mediocre but that's not what i mean. i mean if you're a sexual person but consistently cannot get off to the same things with another person irl as you do when you're alone masturbating, you might have some anxiety or fear of being vulnerable that's holding you back. you also mentioned having fear of your family's judgement so that could have something to do with it. i don't think people give enough credit to how much good sex requires of you emotionally. it's not something that always comes naturally even if you're horny.

No. 133394

Tbh that's what I was worried about after my last gf sent a long article of attributes in lesbians. I'm probably too scared to come out due to family. Also the amount of men who weasel into lesbian only spaces to begin with. Thinking the right dick will turn them around.

Maybe, I had some sexual abuse as a kid that still haunts me a bit. Sort of a fear of being completely vulnerable and open while naked. My mom also found out I was watching a lesbian show a while back. She immediately threw insults like crotch munchers, scissoring, how unnatural it is. That sat in my mind for a while blocking intimacy with that gf.

No. 133415

I'm in a similar situation where homophobic parents and childhood sexual abuse aren't helping me figure out what I am exactly. Are you able to access therapy that'll deal with the abuse?

> She immediately threw insults like crotch munchers, scissoring, how unnatural it is

Ah yes, cos sucking on a penis is so godly, beautiful and natural lol

No. 133436

Not really and I have bigger issues right now in terms of time/bills to deal with. I'm probably just a lesbian who's hard closeted by herself.

Also kek not sure why I hadn't thought of that

No. 133502

> Not really and I have bigger issues right now

ooph same, I have too many bills to even get started on therapy, though I know I realistically can't have a healthy sexual relationship without therapy first.. living that celibate life!

No. 133645

Anon you sound really sweet, we are similar in age (I'm 27) and I would totally go on a date with you if given the chance. Never give up hope that there's someone out there for you

No. 133647

really sorry to hear this anon. hang in there, ok?

No. 133831

Do lesbians ever waste their time with a bicurious girl? As in, a girl who was only in straight relationships but wants to figure out if they would enjoy lesbian sex? I kind of want to try it, but I don't know anything about how to find lesbians. I assume some dating apps would be best?

No. 133838

anyone else ever only dated one girl and even though it was 3+ years ago and she broke your heart, you still think about her and how cute and funny she was, and dream about seeing her again somewhere and trying to win her back.
i wish i could just meet someone else already, ‘cause it’s not healthy, but you know, bumfuck town and all that.

No. 133843

> Do lesbians ever waste their time with a bicurious girl?

The whole wording of your post indicates that you're not actually all that into it. 'I kind of want to try it' 'don't know if I'd like it' and you admit yourself that you'd be wasting their time? Are you having a rough time with dating men and hoping lesbians are easier?

No. 133849

No, I haven't had a hard time with men. I'm trying to stop myself from getting involved with them to explore this part of myself that admittedly I'm unsure of. Like I think I'd enjoy doing pleasurable stuff to a girl, but I've never even kissed a girl so, that's why I acknowledge that I may be a waste of time.

No. 133851

Many don't, for obvious reasons. I'm one of them.

No. 133860

yes and i don't know what to do

No. 133869

i did and she broke my heart (granted, she hadn't actually told me beforehand she was only bicurious). find another bicurious girl instead. leave lesbians alone

No. 133882

jfc, stop acting like lesbians can't have casual sex.

No. 133905

Idk if this is the right place to ask but I’m going for it. I’m bisexual, that’s all well and established. I’ve had sex with men, it’s not hard to please them, but i haven’t had sex with women.

I’m scared to go on dates with girls cause idk how to have sex with them and I don’t want to be with someone on my same level (inexperienced with women or in general) cause I don’t want them to lie about how I’m doing or for it to completely suck. I’m talking to someone rn and, like any normal person I don’t wanna disappoint. I know it’s unrealistic to expect to be some sex god when we finally hook up, but I wanna make sure I at least make her feel good. People say to watch porn but I really don’t trust what I see. Do you guys have any sex tips or resources?

No. 134254

Update she did leave me with it as a reason. Wish I'd left her those 2 months ago rather than now when it actually hurts to have her cut me out completely. Fell harder only to be cut loose and now she has ammo against me if she wants some public call out.

No. 134282

Just be honest you are only into trying sex. Its not like all lesbian are pure and innocent and only looking for a serious waifu lol. But you can look for other bisexual/curious women as well.

No. 134285

I would have sex with a bicurious girl but relationship, probably not. On a related rant, if there's one thing I can't stand about the "lesbian culture" is that people don't hook up for casual sex and instead want to remain ~pure and serious~. The U-haul lesbian joke is an old one but applies a lot of times. I'm constantly horny but I feel like even a kiss in is practically asking them to marry you.

No. 134445

File: 1584506540467.jpeg (57.22 KB, 815x506, E70FD63F-0CFA-402E-AA2B-1A481D…)

Sorry if this sounds extra dumb, but I have kinda the same doubts as >>133905 and something else: whenever I’m around a girl I consider attractive/beautiful, it’s like my brain freezes?? Sometimes I feel completely worthless of even being close to her.
I don’t know if this is a result of the bullying I suffered on middle school (when other girls would call me names and other stuff and I felt like an insect around them). Even though I know I’m considered attractive to men, I’m afraid of not being cute to girls? It’s a very strange feeling, I hate it. How do I feel more confident around other girls and stop having war flashbacks from my days of middle school?

No. 134475

I'm on the verge of pulling the trigger myself. I hope I am able to go through with it once the stupid virus crisis is over and I have money saved up to leave this relationship.

No. 134747

i like this girl so much she's one of my best friends and we've been fucking for a while and then she admitted she kind of has feelings for me? and i reciprocated and now we're idk?? hanging out a lot, fucking but also cuddling and kissing randomly and holding hands and bein romantic and everything. i wanna date her n i want her to be my girlfriend but she's a super anti-relationship person and doesn't wanna label and also is still fucking other people. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh it's been like this for a month am i wasting my time pining after a fuckboy lol

No. 134751

Anon, you should tell her how you feel. Pour your heart out. It's better than not knowing. And if she doesn't want a relationship or whatever, it's her loss.

No. 134761

anyone ever date a transman/ftm? how'd it go?

No. 134852

Had a gf turn into ftm at the end. I really think it had something to do with internalized homophobia as I believe she's still dating girls. Anyway she cheated with another ftm claiming I could never love or understand her the way the other ftm did. I even tried to continue loving her by going along with the pronouns and binding bs. Honestly glad I got out when I did as I'd be miserable in a lesbian relationship where ones trying to be a man. Also just the constant walking on egg shells I was doing before we broke up but long term.

No. 134862

I fucking hate lesbians who act like this, my god. Just bite the fucking bullet and stop dicking around.

No. 134901

Does anyone else here deal with the issue of looking like the most obvious lesbian on earth but still having men approach you?

Can they really not tell or are they looking for a challenge??

No. 134910

The latter.

No. 134925

I think they genuinely can't tell, they just think that every woman is attracted to them

No. 134957

Bi girl here, still not over another bi girl I met years ago. I really just think about what things could have been and how sweet and down to earth she was. Too bad she played with my feelings along with a bunch of other people lol

No. 134976

I feel like im in the same boat anon, she was so passaionate and sweet for a few months, and then it was like nothing

No. 134985

It really stinks that some bi women act just like men, but there's nothing really we can do about it.

No. 135010

Hey, would you guys date someone who has a very dated look, I'm a big historical fashion nerd who dress like an old weirdo. I'm having trouble attracting women, I feel like lesbians were fairly open minded when it comes to fashion so I always thought that it was my akwardness that makes them run away, but I guess I would like to know how much my style might have an impact. Please be honest, I just want to live a peaceful life in a cottage with a girl

No. 135016

Do you wear normal clothes as well? And how dated? Like Victorian era dated?

No. 135025

Hey y'all, looking for some advice. I've always thought I was bi but I'm wondering if I'm a lesbian. I can find guys good looking, but the idea of sex with them is gross. I used to be hypersexual so I could force myself to get into it, but now that I've recovered, it's totally unappealing. I'll see a cute femboy and think "I would fug him". But imagining oral, PIV, etc is offputting. plz to help

No. 135026

No. 135027

do you see men romantically or do you just feel like having sex with them?
if you hate men like the anons in the pink pill thread it's hard to not feel disgusted by them too

No. 135030

I don't want to have sex with them at all, that's why I think I might be gay. The idea of being romantic with one doesn't make me feel anything, either. I just have these fleeting thoughts of "oh, he's cute", but imagining sex with him is vomit inducing.

No. 135035

You must be lesbian then.
I remember my lesbian friend telling me she could find men handsome but in the same way we think a statue is beautiful with no sexual attraction whatsoever.

No. 135037

For the anons here: is it weird my supposedly lesbian friend and her ex gf used to make out with guys in parties? They also called a male friend over to do a menage. She always told me she dislikes men and is 100% lesbian, her ex gf is bi and both seemed to enjoy doing these things with men. So is she in denial or just hooking up for the sake of it

No. 135044

File: 1585303086963.png (1.66 MB, 1348x815, xcvbnklmm.png)

Thank you for answering ! My two favorite era in fashion are the 1940's and the late victorian era. If I set my hair the night before ( like 5 times a week ) I will go out with something like the girl on the left, if it's cold outside and I want to be comfy, I will wear something inspired by the victorian era like the girl on the right ( if you take off the glasses it's exactly the look I have, especially the awkard pose and smile).

I don't own any normal clothes anymore, vintage clothes are very confortable. To be honest, I feel like the only thing that's holding me back to go crazier with perfect historical accuracy is money and time.

So now my question is, if you saw me on a dating site, would you be scared lol ? Would you at least try to talk to me or the clothes would be red flag ?

I don't know of it's intersting to add this but I live in a country where historical reenactment is really rare. Also the lady on the left is Karolina Żebrowska and the women on the right is Bernadette Banner, feels bad taking their image without crediting

No. 135049

not a red flag but I'd probably pass on you like anyone with interests that don't remotely match mine. I'd also feel a bit uncomfortable/looked at being out in public with someone who dresses like that, ngl.

No. 135050

File: 1585306968624.jpg (51.69 KB, 412x640, Victoriancouple.jpg)

I love vintage fashion so it would be really cool to meet a woman who dresses like that.
It's a gamble because you will attract women who are into the same things as you but others might find it too off-putting.

No. 135053

NTA but why would you feel uncomfortable walking with a gf in vintage clothes? It's not bdsm gear or a burka ffs

No. 135054

File: 1585310081027.png (61.43 KB, 586x190, 8db11.png)

Hey thank you both for answering

I totally understand, people do stare a lot and I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be uncomfortable in public because of me ! Thank you for being honest and answering me anon !

Omg who are you ? I've litteraly never met a lesbian who liked this style, that's a really nice comment, you are giving me hope !

(the meme is just a joke about the situation a friend sent to me one day)

No. 135059

File: 1585312345371.jpg (24.62 KB, 526x297, 526x297.jpg)

Well I'm bi and European.
Adèle Haenel looked dreamy in her blue cape in "Portrait of a lady on fire"…

No. 135063

No. 135065

Because it stands out and people will look and find it strange. I'd rather enjoy my time with my gf peacefully without feeling the burning stares of others on her/us.

No. 135066

Omg anon I love this!! I wonder how many anons on here would shit on vintage clothing while enjoying j-fashion, lol. I wear a lot of vintage clothes too (60s/70s mostly!) and so it’s maybe not as “out of place” as 1910s or 40s, it’s so cool how many people compliment vintage outfits. I think for the most part people love seeing people dressed differently and enjoying themselves! While the 1910s or 40s might not be a common look now, the pictures you posted are super tasteful and I’d be so obsessed if someone in one of my classes or something dressed like that, you sound really interesting! I’m sure a girl who also loves to dress up or loves to sew (basically, me) would love how you dress!

No. 135067

Not the anon you’re replying to but I’m curious, do you not have any friends who dress in any sort of subculture, or are you from a place where that isn’t common? I live in a rural town in the US but still have a lot of goth friends and they don’t really get that many looks to the point where it effects hanging out, just wondering if maybe it’s a cultural difference?

No. 135070

No. Everyone just kind of dresses normally here. Some more fashionably/on trend than others sure, but you very rarely see people dressed in "weird" things like goth or vintage. The amount of times I've seen a goth can be counted on one hand.

I don't think subcultures with a big emphasise on fashion live as strongly here as they seem to do in different parts of the world. I think it's funny you said "Do you not have friends who're part of a subculture" as if that's normal or common. Maybe it is where you are? It's not here. All my friends just dress normally.

No. 135071

Oh wow, where do you live anon?
Im from a pretty backwards place but even then being goth or dressing vintage isn't super strange, someone might talk to you and compliment or ask questions but i've never been looked too weird or harassed for dressing not on trend.

No. 135074

File: 1585322716589.jpg (64.64 KB, 543x782, cape.JPG)

this movie was so beautiful, i cried a lot watching it, and yes so many beautiful capes! I'm also from europe, I really hope you are not having too much trouble in your country!

thank you so much ! 60's and 70's are so cool! What are your style inspo? Are you currently doing a sewing project? I would love to know more ! ( sorry I get overexited about sewing lol )

No. 135075

>is it weird my so-called lesbian friends are making out and having sex with men
Yeah, they're just bi lmao.

Related, I wonder why do so many bi women claim to be lesbians? Is it a way to turn on men? To appear more special? What's wrong with just admitting you're bi? I wish they stopped doing it, because this way men are even more inclined to keep harrassing you after you tell them you're a lesbian, since "See, there are lesbians that have sex with men, you must like dick after all"

No. 135079

Same anon here, yeah I thought she was bi as well but she's so butch I still find weird when thinking about it

No. 135085

There are butch-looking women that are straight or bi, it's not about the looks. If she's involved with men, she ain't a lesbian.

No. 135092

I think it is the bisexuals are sluts stereotype and some women hate men so they can be ashamed of being attracted to them. But sure I wish people would not do this as it hurts actual lesbians and strenghtens the belief that only lesbians seriosly date women and bi women only want sex and date men.

Also more masculine women can feel more comfortable identifying as lesbians because they have this butch/femme thing. Straight and bi girls are always expected to be feminine.

No. 135104

Ahh late reply but I used to be much more into the mod look but now I dress more hippie, my fashion icons are def Janis Joplin (one of my favorite wlw icons, I die anon), Grace Slick, the GTO groupies, etc. My current sewing project is going to be a dress for my sorority initiation when college starts again in the fall, dress has to be all black so I’m making a black cocktail length shift with black lace bell sleeves!! Hope this current pandemic situation going on means you have plenty of time to work on sewing projects and have some great outfits for when life gets back to normal so you can wow all the girls out there!!

No. 135114

I honestly think you may be an outlier in this situation. I second the question, where do you live?
Idk about the vintage clothes OP, but if she lives in Poland (I'm guessing from the second photo), people staring shouldn' be a big issue (unless she in a tiny village). Plenty of subcultures and feminine vintage clothing is hardly controversial (especially like the first example). I imagine OP getting a lot of compliments.

TBH it seems sad for me to throw away a chance for a friend or a gf because random people may stare (assuming this is the only 'isssue' and you are compatible ofc), but you do you.

No. 135133

Not really looking for advice, just a whinge post,

I'm living in a small town where most people are pensioners and where young people mostly move away for work. After two years living here with no real social life I am now crushing on like three different women that all work in local shops. Probably all straight.

Got chatted up by a rando man last week and was so disgusted by the experience that I cut all my hair off the next day so I'm (hopefully) unmistakingly gay looking again. I just want female attention. My first year living here I was all worried about my old religious neighbors noticing that I'm gay.

No. 135135

I reply very late but all your inspirations are super interesting ( seems like you have great taste in music too ! ) I didn't know about the GTO's so I went on a rabbit hole to learn more about them, thank you very much for making me discover them ! I really like Zapa, so it was nice to learn about a group he has produced ! I totally relate to the crush on Janis Joplin lol, she has the cutest smile!

Your futur dress sounds so cool! I had to do sleeve in lace once and I remember the pain, so I'm sending you all my courage for that part! I'm sure it's going to look great! I'm going to come home soon so I will finally have access to my sewing machine, I hope that you will also be able to create and have some fun during the quarantine too and that you are not risking your health because you are forced to work in contact with people.

No. 135138

NTA but dressing like that'd definitely make ppl stare in any big city in North and South America
I think it'd be more acceptable in Europe and Asia

No. 135378

the girl i like & who likes me back admitted yesterday she had a sex dream about me and it was the first time she’d cum in months and like, i dont know, i haven’t been able to sit still or sleep since then because i’m just so astonished she actually really likes me as much as i like her. jesus christ. i literally spent two hours painstakingly crafting a handwritten letter to her and she’s writing one for me. i’m honest to god on cloud fucking nine.

No. 135431

this is absolutely relevant to nothing but i just want to say that men are so fucking ugly and unattractive and it just feels fucking good to be able to think that freely

No. 135503

>gay looking
Can you explain what "gay looking" is supposed to mean? How can you tell "she's gay"?

No. 135511


nta but I also live in rural town and having even feminine pixie cut had random men calling me dyke. When in a conservative area people usually assume you're gay (or liberal) if you look different from the norm.

No. 135556

It's already explained in the post, extremely short hair on a woman doesn't scream straight, especially when you live in a rural setting.

No. 135578

Similar experience, I keep my hair super short because I have an anxiety/OCD problem where in times of stress I get bald patches from pulling at it. Based on how short it is people have always just assumed that I'm gay (which was absolutely fine when I lived in a city) but since moving to a rural part of my Country I've had the experience of strange men leaning in to call me a dyke as they walk by. All casual like! The first time it happened I thought the guy was leaning in to ask for directions or the time.

No. 135648

File: 1585968961904.png (269.14 KB, 569x741, what is this lesbian(im assumi…)

Anyone else find butches annoying/embarrassing? Not sure if I'm being autistic and letting my femxfem preference shine through, but the butch always seems like a caricature of what they think a man should be like, if that makes sense? it's so exaggerated.

Yes, and I'm glad you pointed it out. Seems like the ones that like to flirt are often taken already. as well. (not to mention the constant sexual comments from bi girls with boyfriends).
It makes me distrust most lesbians who make romantic suggestions towards me because I feel as though they're just being social/polite. It's more often seen in online groups than irl imo.

No. 135679

Like they give you secondhand embarrassment?

I like butch women but I got secondhand embarrassment around one lately because I thought she was forcing her voice to sound deeper and being exaggerated in sitting like a man etc, It just felt too put on.. in general though I have a preference for butch women if it's naturally who they are and doesn't come off as a performance. I probably fit the soft butch label myself.

No. 135703

yea, like you said, it feels too put on. Butch women who are comfortable with who they are are great, but the ones that go for the stereotypical "I'm presenting as butch therefore I need to dress and act like one" gets old real quick.. It doesn't seem genuine.

Soft butch is the best butch, they always look comfy :)

No. 135757

can i still call myself a lesbian if i think one male celebrity is cute but i wouldn't even want to have sex with him and when i saw a porno ("art film") he was in i was grossed out by his dick? but i still think he's really cute and stalk his social media? i listen to his music autistically as well (have over 500 scrobbles from the past week alone) so idk if maybe i'm just developping some weird pseudo-attraction to him because his music is so unique and powerful. it makes me SO uncomfortable because all my life i've only ever been attracted to women and i've been an out and proud lesbian for years so i don't know what to do. is this normal? has anyone else experienced this? also i desperately want to look like him so i don't know if it's just a matter of admiring him aesthetically and wanting to emulate that. sorry for vent jesus it's just really stressing me out

No. 135764

How old are you?

No. 135782

I know some lesbians who have celebrity crushes for male actors/musicians. They wouldn’t touch a real man but like the character.

I was once, a very long time ago, a baby lesbian too womdering if I’m ”gay enough”. There is some people who want to prove the world they are the purest most vagina loving lesbo ever. But when your identity has formed to stable adulthood those labels don’t seem so crucial

No. 135787

I have this too. A massive 'crush' on one male celeb. Wouldn't actually sleep with him if given the oppurtunity though. His comedy got me through a really rough patch so I think it's just a weird (obviously one sided lol) bond that formed.

No. 135789

>i wouldn't even want to have sex with him
It says it all doesn't it? Why are you even bothered? It's normal to have someone you admire. And if you wanted to fuck male celebrities, congrats you'd be bi, not a problem either.

No. 135799

>Seems like the ones that like to flirt are often taken already. as well.
I've noticed this as well. I've had so many taken girls being flirty with me, it made me uncomfortable. This can't be normal, I would never accept a partner doing this with other girls

No. 135802

who is the celeb anon ?

No. 135825

thank you so much for responding. i guess i'm bothered because i'm out to everyone in my life as a lesbian and the thought of having to come out a second time as bisexual makes me really uncomfortable, since they'd think i actually like men, which i don't, which i guess means i'm not bisexual. so straightforward now i think about it!
i posted him in the unconvential male attractions thread a few days ago haha, jg thirlwell. crazy talented and creative composer, somehow only improves over the decades.

No. 135850

I mean, if you feel attraction for him that'd be bisexuality

No. 135852

i don't think i'm attracted to him, it's more that he looks exactly how i wish i looked. like i want to be him rather than i want to fuck him

No. 136048

Don't sweat coming out again or whatever. Live the way that feels truest to you at the moment and explore. Your brain isn't done developing and there is a chance you'll grow into bisexuality but it's not worth obsessing over possibilities. People that might judge others about second coming-out are ignorant and do not understand that learning one's own sexuality isn't actually that easy for a lot of people.

No. 136388

File: 1586575448567.jpeg (30.79 KB, 497x333, 5EB9B7DA-3DA2-401E-9D62-D03E8D…)


No. 136399

when I was young, like probably 12, I had a crush on my female friend and a woman on TV. I didn't even think anything of it, until my brother said you couldn't be gay and be a christian (our family is/was very religious). I prayed and prayed for god to make me straight, and my feelings for her went away. I didn't have any gay feelings like that again until recently. I'm attracted to women sometimes but I don't really want to have sex with them. the thought of eating pussy grosses me out. in fact I even feel disgusted by my own vagina a lot of the time. I'm guessing this is the result of internalized homophobia and misogyny growing up. I'm wondering now if I'm bi or even gay? I realized I don't get along with men, and even though I'm sexually attracted to men, I genuinely don't know if I'm actually compatible. I'm just so confused

No. 136403

Anon, if pussy doesn't turn you on in some capacity, you're not gay you're straight especially considering the fact that most straight women have some form of crush on other women it's completely natural as women can be quite enigmatic and beautiful however this doesn't make you gay.
If the thought of spending your life (sexually & romantically) with another woman doesn't give you butterflies then i wouldn't ponder your sexuality too much. Oh and for the record most straight women loathe men on an emotional basis, it's just seems to be a thing with you guys.

No. 136411

File: 1586616495190.jpg (271.03 KB, 1280x720, tumblr_omzelqh5wr1w7kmwho10_12…)

My favorite lesbian movie is Kamikaze Girls.

No. 136413

I know this is a couple days old but this is one the main issues I take issue with butches, I also hate the forced wanna be tough shtick
like seriously not wearing make up, being obese and watching porn doesn't sound make you tough, like I had an ex butch gf who was like this
like she couldn't accept that I could out-lifted her, cause I actually went to the gym while she sat at home all day watching tv

No. 136414

File: 1586617674286.jpg (314.66 KB, 1700x578, 2.jpg)

Dealing with horny lez gremlins is a chore sometimes

No. 136415

What are lez gremlins?
She's perfect.

No. 136425

I think they are lesbians who don't care about you being straight and strongly pursue straight girls as well

No. 136427

That's the infamous pregnancy-fetish troon comic isn't it.

No. 136438

I used to dislike butches but honestly I think "ewww butch dykes" was just driven into my head by society. There are a lot of cute ones out there that aren't the fat, cringey kind. Attached is one I like.

No. 136440

Moon over June

No. 136445

Is it still gay to think a man acting dressed up as a woman is attractive? So I 99% of the time wouldn't find a man dressing as a woman attractive, penis n all that, plus I'm good at recognising it but I was watching a show and man, he just looks so good as a woman. He does female character acting a lot and just looks really great doing it, when I watch clips on youtube there are straight dudes in the comments saying the same thing. He is a straight male.

No. 136448

honestly I like the chubby & curvy ones better. I don't want to date someone who looks like a twink.

No. 136493

male sexuality is a meme so don't be surprised, kek. it's not gay, it's that you can appreciate feminine men.

No. 136512

I understand what you mean, I think he basically always wore trousers anyway, so maybe it's my preference of sorta soft butch idk

No. 136537

In an ideal world where gender roles weren't a thing, I'd say having a sissy kink w men is straight. But there are some lesbians who cope with their closetedness by finding subconscious loopholes in their sexuality to live it out with men in straight relationships.

Comphet is a huge obstacle and I wouldn't rule out being gay simply bc of the world we live in today. I'd say look into some comphet resources before settling on being hetero.

No. 136539

I don't feel anything sexual it's just an attraction to him playing a female character, but he's a very good character actor, he makes it his own and really becomes the character so I feel like that comes into it. I know I'm not hetero, I cannot imagine sex or relationship with a man, it's just this specific thing that trips me up, tho I do maybe think he could pass as a woman, it's weird, but I know I only truly love women, so that's nice.

No. 136546

I think I have a crush on my friend but she has a girlfriend and I don't think I'm her type at all. I don't know how to feel.

No. 136684

who is this?

No. 136690

Reece Shearsmith, British actor/comedian

No. 136693

Same. I wish i had a relationship like that and the ability to spend that much money on lolita. Goals all around.

No. 136803

late, but I feel you anon. The absolute worst date I've ever been on with my life was with this super masc skinhead bulldyke type girl. She looked cute, but spent the entire time bragging about how many bar fights she'd been in, about carrying a switchblade (and showed it to me in a public place, though carrying those is illegal in my country), talking about how "women shouldn't curse" when I swore in front of her (and when I pointed out "but you're a woman too and you swear a lot" she just said "oh, its different though") and just saying all these things that seemed like a caricature of what a lesbian is supposed to be like. She was a friend of an older friend that I had had a crush on since my early teen years and she used to be really rude to me until I became an adult and grew boobs and I guess suddenly became worthy of her attention, but I never texted/called her back after that terrible date. She also kept talking about this girl she had recently dated and saying a lot of terrible misogynistic things about her, it made me realise that even if i had been attracted to her and gone home with her that she'd probably have just talked like that about me to her next girl. Overall I like masc girls because I find them attractive, but I'd prefer someone that doesn't try quite so hard to act the living embodiment of a stereotype and doesn't act so rudely in public.
The ideal girl for me is definitely someone butch/masc in appearance, but gentle and normal in personality and for whom the "manly" thing doesn't seem so forced and cringey.

No. 136892

File: 1587130748472.jpg (38.96 KB, 672x1024, bf2eefc7018eeab3d333c495458ad9…)

Had a dream where a male friend of mine was going to ask a female friend of mine out, and i got really jealous and upset in the dream. i have never looked at her in that way in all my life but when i woke up i started doubting myself wondering if i have a crush on my dear friend of more than 10 years. really hoping this goes away once the effect of the dream wears off because she's engaged lmao

No. 136893

Have you ever found any lesbian creepers while using online dating apps?

No. 136919


Hello Dave!

Which characters do you find him attractive playing?

No. 136922

As a coincidence with your reference, Mrs Levinson, oh and Stella, but to be fair he doesn't look like himself at all in those roles, I thought Stella was played by someone else for ages.

No. 136924

I would let Mrs Levinson do terrible things to me. I don't know what it is about Reece and some of the characters he plays, but I can't help but find them attractive. I totally get what you mean when he's cross dressing. He's gorgeous as a male and a female.

No. 136928

I'm so glad you can relate! I think it's partly because of how well he character acts, he gets really into the characters which is why so many of his characters like Papa Laz and Mr Jelly are so popular. I don't know how he's so good but it's just him I feel this with, so weird, but I'm glad I found someone who thinks the same! Sorry if any of this is a bit derail-ish

No. 136947

It is genuinely confusing isn't it. No other actor does it for me, but he does. Nice to meet another LoG fan though, I feel we are few and far between. Sage'd for kinda OT.

No. 137598

How the FUCK do you meet gay girls? I’m so sick of being alone, why does every girl either have a boyfriend or ugly ass purple hair with the side shaved off or both? The L Word fucking scammed me. I wouldn’t have even come out of the closet if I knew I was gonna be just as lonely as I was when I was in it.

No. 137600

Please let me know how when you do. I’ve tried dating apps but I’m too much of an autist for them.

No. 137601

I feel the same (and so do a lot of lesbians), a lot of places recommend online dating apps but honestly in my experience they're mostly full of bifags looking for a threesome or men who've tagged themselves as female, let alone the idea of marketing myself online sounds like a nightmare. LGBT meet ups are great but again mostly full of bisexual women who already have boyfriends

No. 137973

File: 1588202711082.png (Spoiler Image,70.62 KB, 1248x248, 1.png)

No. 137994

Fuck this is too real. I'm too scared to try dating apps with men catfishing or what I think is a woman turns out to be a troon when it comes time to sit at a cafe table. All the women I met in LGBT support groups were just straight up bi with a bf, troon, or straights who want social points. I'm considering putting a lesbian colored crochet or beaded bracelet as a decoration on my purse. At least itd be a more discrete way of another woman finding me instead of a man seeing two venus symbols on a button so he can invite to a 3some or some bs.

No. 137998

Find a gay friend, all the gays know each other. Knowing one lesbian in your area can open you up to a world or other lesbians or "straight girls".

No. 138231

I’m questioning my sexuality (and gender, but thats for another thread) a lot lately. I’d say I’d describe myself as a lesbian, but I can’t tell if my lack of attraction to men is due to my second boyfriend passing away a few years ago. As a kid I was always very fixated on women and femininity, I can cite my first crushes always back to other girls in my class (especially a tall girl in my first grade class named Megan) or adult women, I’d be so enamored with them and not know whether I wanted to be them or be with them. The attraction and relationships I have had with men have been incredibly circumstantial, my first kiss was with a boy that I broke the arm of for taking a toy from me on the playground, and my next one was the following year with my best friend at the time. I told her it was my first because it felt like it was. My first boyfriend I started dating mostly because he wore a skirt / kilt to school every day and would have violent outbursts that caught my eye, and my mother’s abuse towards me increased after I attempted to come out as a lesbian by dating my first girlfriend the previous summer. It was my first year of highschool and I was desperate to do anything that was going to put me back on the right side of things in my mothers eyes especially since we live in the south and were a strict religious family. In a long story short you can guess that he didnt treat me well, and after a year of drug induced experiences leading to me being hit and screamed at by someone other than my mother for once, that led to being introduced to a grown man who was a serial rapist to “teach me a lesson” and sequentially raped me that year, i took quite a long period of sexual abstinence and having a few romantic flings here and there with women. When I turned 17 I started doing sex work because I was so detached from my body and genitals that I figured, whats the worst that could happen? A lot is the worst that can happen. To make a long story short, I ended up seeing too many men to count through this period of time and dissociating heavily because of it, just not caring what happened to myself, eventually falling back into drug habits I fought so long to kick. I met my last boyfriend through a day job I had, he helped me quit sex work for good and see that there are good men out there but that I’m definitely not attracted to them sexually or romantically, I loved him more than I can conceive and he did more for me than any person on or off this planet but I could not feel the way any ex girlfriend or even girls I’d develop crushes on made me feel. TLDR,Does attraction boil down to just how you feel towards people? or after a certain point / “body count”, do your sexual actions define your sexuality? I personally feel confident in my developing identity and in calling myself a lesbian (especially after having it used against me so much growing up and even as a woman attracted adult), but do other lesbians feel animosity towards people like me identifying as lesbians? sorry for big blog post this has just been on my mind a lot lately.

No. 138252

>I’d describe myself as a lesbian, but I can’t tell if my lack of attraction to men is due to my second boyfriend
>second boyfriend
stopped reading there sis

No. 138256

Anon above me is part of the answer you seek. Yes, some lesbians will judge you if you tell them your experiences, and I’d honestly wouldn’t care, you don’t really need that kind of toxicity in your life.
It sounds to me that you already know you’re a lesbian, exploring your sexuality does not make you any less lesbian if you feel like you’re attracted only to woman.
I hope you get through your bad experiences and heal, Anon, and also find a loving and understanding gf.

No. 138324

> I’d say I’d describe myself as a lesbian, but I can’t tell if my lack of attraction to men is due to my second boyfriend passing away a few years ago
This must be a bait? It's subtle enough but with the current state of everything, I wouldn't be surprised if someone was actually serious about this.
If it's the latter then it will just perpetuate "there's no real lesbians only bisexual women".

No. 138325

>questioning my gender
>I'm a lesbian but have had two boyfriends
>My first nigel was a violent piee of shit
>sex work and drug usage
literally what the fuck am i reading, this is the lesbian thread not your blog or therapist. I wish lockdown was over already

No. 138341

Lesbians are fucking mean, wow

No. 138342

They truly are old bitter women, that's why I don't bother with the alphabet pride thingy.

No. 138343

why is it mean to say that a woman who likes men is not a lesbian, holy shit

No. 138344

How is what either of those replies said bitter?

No. 138352

Apparently. Condolences to the anon who spilled her heart and got told to fuck off.
It's the way you say it, retard. God is this bait?? What the fuck am I reading, ugh! I can't wait till you leave this board.

See? Damn I thought there would be camaraderie in here but I guess if you don't fill out Lesbian Attributes A, B, and C, you're a moron and not allowed to define yourself.
Have some fucking empathy, god damn.

No. 138365

This isn't a thread to validate insecure straight women's feefees. Learn what lesbian means, protip, it's same sex attraction.

No. 138367

Everyone has their own path, chill on the gatekeeping

No. 138368

It's literally not a path. Lesbian means same sex attraction to females. "bi lesbians" are not a thing. "political lesbans" are not a thing. It isn't gatekeeping but if you feel that way maybe evaluate why it makes you feel that way.

No. 138370

Imagine telling gay men to stop gatekeeping because they don't want to deal with bi-shit men / larpers.

You look stupid. Stop.

No. 138373


No. 138375

Yeah, you go girl.
Anyone can be a lesbian if they want to. You, your father, your friends, your pets. Spread the word. Also, don't forget to buy our $9.99 LGBTQ+ badge.

I'm sorry to see you're hurting hun. Don't listen to those bullies. You're a beautiful human bean and you're heckin valid. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

No. 138380

The gold star lesbian thing is stupid. Some of us haven't been so privileged to be in environments that let us be with women and discover our sexuality naturally… I dated men(no sex) and hated it and also myself for being unable to ignore my blatant attraction to women. It doesn't make me any less of a lesbian. I don't know why its only the WLW community that seems obsessed with this shit. It feels like I can never be a true lesbian because I wasn't a cute butch girl at age 14 or some shit.

No. 138382

Anon sweetie, Ignore all of these annoying gold stars that ruin the L in LBGT because they automatically assume that in this hetronormative life we all live that if any woman felt that they were forced to be with men that they're not valid. Your upbringing is actually very standard for most women growing up as a lesbian, getting in to horrible toxic relation ships with men is very common and furthers the confusion of finding your sexuality. I'm thankful that you were willing to share your story with us since so many young girls are currently dealing with similar situations (hopefully not to the extent of SW) and if they find this thread I hope that they realize that even if they have been with men it doesn't make them any less of a lesbian.

Jesus fucking Christ Shut the fuck up. Goldstar is bullshit and all you do is make young lesbians feel like shit because the're socially forced to date men. She literally stated that her mother was abusive and she lives in the South in America where there's still murders of gay women. Not every one has the privilege of being able to safely be out and proud.

No. 138383

Fuck off with your reddit validating shit. I'm one of those anons that you addressed and I live in the slavlands. Lots of people have sob stories. Just because it's not socially acceptable to be a lesbian doesn't mean you need to hop from one dick to another.
I mean, she can but every lesbian has the right to judge her however she pleases. So you and someone else might not find it a big deal, I just wouldn't be able to get over that fact. I'd rather stay alone.
I'm sick of bisexual women having a short term crush or just a slight attraction to a woman and immediately going for the lesbian label when there's no harm in being a bisexual. Lesbians are barely being taken seriously by anyone as it is and it's partly thanks to LGBT media being so inclusive and promoting the idea that anyone can be anything if they want to and people like you completely ignoring the point of sexual attraction. I didn't choose to be born like this and it's not a passing feeling for me like it's not for so many actual lesbians. If you're seriously triggered by the fact that a lot of lesbians don't want to date women who have a long (voluntary) history with men, then I suspect you're not a lesbian either. Make a bisexual inclusive thread so no one's feelings get hurt. I can't believe it's always the same story. The only thing that's lacking is couples looking for a threesome and a few transbians thrown into the mix.

No. 138387

There's being repulsed by men due to past trauma and finding comfort in women and then there's being a lesbian. It's got nothing to do with muh gold star bullshit. I can be a friend in need for a straight woman who's been traumatized and abused by men but I'm not going to even consider a relationship because you know after the wounds have healed up and the perfect man walks in she's suddenly straight again. Sorry, that's just the cold truth.

No. 138413

> all you do is make young lesbians feel like shit because the're socially forced to date men
Nobody is forced to date men, this isn’t a third world country lmao

No. 138414

where? america? you realise the entire world are able to use the internet right? you know not everywhere is a first world country right? your insight!

No. 138425

Anon is retarded but I think she is referencing the anon who said she was from the South in 'murica.

No. 138426

you are projecting, no one talked about being a goldstar lmao, insecure much?

No. 138434

You're so close-minded. Sad.

They literally are tho, they just won't call it what it is. Are you slow?

I would do that, if I gave a fuck.(infighting)

No. 138450

File: 1588709659071.png (53.25 KB, 766x281, goldstar.png)

Speaking of goldstar, why is it an issue anyway?
Like, if some lesbians were lucky enough to figure out they weren't interested in men from the very start, why not be happy about it?
It's kind of sad that anything related to goldstar lesbian is thrown in a pejorative context and despite it being a term that refers to both gay men and lesbians, most of the attack is directed towards lesbians as per usual.
The argument is that it supposedly distinguishes between "purer" lesbians and those that are less pure, but that's mainly because the other side projects that. My guess is that the rise of bashing goldstar lesbians is due to it being transphobic.

No. 138454

yeah I think you are guessing right anon. lgbt people are obssesed with inclusivity for the better an the worse.

Also what the fuck is "cissexist", I've never heard it before, I must be getting old

No. 138455

cissexist is I think the fact that one judges the other person based on their genitalia. For example, in that article thinking that people who have dicks are men is bad and very backwards which makes it easy to understand why the lgbt crowd dislikes any form of purism i.e. being a gold star lesbian.
I wonder what other terms await us in the 2020s.

No. 138456

I should have better used the term sex chromosome, but you get the point.

No. 138458

It invalidates lesbians who did have sex with men before realizing they weren't straight.

No. 138459

thank you for answering anon Thanks to you and this article I'm finally understanding the concept

>Transphobia is often expressed as outward bias, disgust, or hatred against trans people. Cissexism is a much subtler, and perhaps more pervasive, form of discrimination against trans and nonbinary people. Cissexist assumptions often come across in the form of microaggressions

No. 138461

What the fuck is going on? Literally get the fuck out. This is the lesbian thread. Dykes don’t do dick, go back to tumblr.

No. 138463

This is the correct answer.

No. 138472

Do not waste everybody's time in this thread if you are straight, do not use this thread to discuss buzzwords and other topics unrelated to lesbianism. This is not an /lgbt/ thread, this is lesbian general. Reports related to infighting and derailing will be respected.

No. 138484

Only it doesn't?
Being a lesbian means that it should be normal to say that you didn't have sex with men. Like I said, it invalidates because you're projecting.
Why is it normal for gay men to never have sex with women but for lesbians it seems like a problematic issue to have never had sex with men?
Since this seems to be a sensitive topic, I won't bother asking further. It's a shame because I think it's an interesting subject and related to how the society doesn't take lesbians seriously.

No. 138486

The fuck? And what about men who had relationships with women before coming out as gay? What are you on about? Being a lesbian has NOTHING to do with having had dick, it has to do with realizing you're only attracted to women.

No. 138489

I'm not disputing that. I'm just saying that it doesn't seem to be a big problem for gay men as much as it is for gay women. You don't even have to use the term gold star, it's the mere implication that you're a lesbian who never had any relationship with men sets people off in the lgbt circles.

No. 139193

File: 1589554823108.jpg (52.74 KB, 640x533, criesinlonely.jpg)

Why do girls on tinder always ghost me

No. 139199

Tinder sucks. Too many girls are just there for attention and nothing more

No. 139321

Do I need to hang out in gay bars to meet gay women? I don't like bar culture. Toronto feels like such a boring place sometimes, it seems people my age (mid 20s) only hang out to get drunk and there's not a whole lot else they seem to do. My straight friends anyway.

Any Toronto lesbians willing to shed some light on where to make gay friends? I guess, in preparation for post-corona times rather than right now.

No. 140598

File: 1590752185336.jpg (57.7 KB, 749x926, dumbbitchjuice.jpg)

I just need to vent.
I hit it off with this girl before the corona shitstorm but before things could get serious, our university closed and we had to move home. She lives in a neighbouring country and with the borders closed, there was no way to see each other. We kept up over the phone but I'm not too good at that so sometimes I wasn't the best conversation partner… I did notice that I was catching feelings but since we couldn't see each other and I had some other stuff to worry about, I kind of pushed it out of my mind.
Now she's told me that she's dropping out of our uni to pursue a different degree in her home country, so we probably won't see each other ever again. Welp.
I'm still hoping she'll tell me once she's back in our country, moving out stuff from her dorms so I can see her again and fuck her (although that would probably make my feelings stronger so idk, a girl can dream tho right)

No. 140723

File: 1590873250634.jpg (22.15 KB, 300x400, image.jpg)

same anon, I matched with a bunch of girls and always texted first, they straight up don't reply or expect you to carry the whole conversation, I got so bored and angry that I deleted it. fuck anybody that says dating women is easy.

anyways, I have been really conflicted lately about my gender presentation, I want to be masculine but i'm scared of being treated like a butch (with all the weird heteronormative expectations) and somedays I want to doll myself up but i'm absolutely disgusted by the men that stare at me and approach me.
not like wearing masculine clothes and having short hair it's going to stop them, I KNOW, but I feel more secure doing so
any anons have this conflict as well? I wish people would see the current me as androgynous but I don't know if that's the impression i give or i'm just projecting hard my wishes into reality

No. 140730

File: 1590885230171.jpg (Spoiler Image,91.08 KB, 750x1000, fposter,small,wall_texture,pro…)

i get incredibly annoyed when i see men co-opting lesbian art/photography. i absolutely love this image, because it was drawn by a woman, and i like death grips (lol) but i fucking hate that they used this image for an album. am i autistic?

No. 140749

you're autistic for liking death grips

No. 140753

how did you meme yourself into liking death grips

No. 140766

Girls, never lose hope. You will find someone who likes you back eventually.

I pondered on where to post this but I feel more at home in this thread than in vent/dumbass shit so here we go.

I met this girl around two months ago on a lesbian dating app, it was middle of total lock down for us. She messaged me first even tho I didn't have a picture on my profile.
She tried her luck. And now she is my girlfriend.

I am 23 years old and I thought I'm unlovable, I thought I'm too ugly, too fat and too unpleasant to be around. But she likes me. A lot.
I was a kissless virgin until yesterday, now I'm still a virgin.. but I made her cum three times and I for sure am not kissless anymore.

There is hope for everyone, trust me. If your country or city suck, get out of there. But once you do.. you will find someone for sure. Everyone deserves love and is able to receive it.

No. 140767

i'm so happy for you, anon! this is so wholesome. best wishes to both of you.

No. 140778

why are u making a woman cum during a pandemic? idk what your country's situation is but damn, i'm too scared of catching the corona if i meet the girl i'm texting rn

No. 140799

You're funny anon. Don't worry we are reopening, what we did was all legal.

No. 140802

Wait so she came 3 times and you're still a virgin? How did that even play out.

No. 140891

File: 1591076974579.jpg (78.43 KB, 750x1008, 1kdy9h.jpg)

I will never meet a cute woman who has her shit together and wants to form a powercouple with me.
I mean there is a slight chance I might but 100% I will fuck it up again

No. 141175

I was wondering "Am I still a virgin?" after we did that for a few days. I made her cum the first two times thru her panties and the third time I fingered her. I came to the conclusion that since nothing was done to ME (I didn't want it), I was still a virgin that just fooled around like the straights do.
Since then I let her touch me in all ways so I don't consider myself a virgin anymore.

No. 141304

me too but objectively are we womanchildren? i can't help due to past experiences make my attraction to women make me see myself as part-man (no troon shit just weird copes) and sometimes I think this shit is making me a dependent, draining and would make you cry manchild. Am i realistic? I just don't want to fucking hurt women at all and the thought makes me want to wretch and sob, i feel so guilty about it as it is. Like we're supposed to be safe as women among ourselves but here comes a fucking man in a woman's body leering at us and making us feel as unsafe as men have made me feel. I really recognise the smack of i need to go to therapy from this but i could never speak about it with a therapist. i don't want to speak about my fucking thoughts about women to people outside of "haha she's hot i'm a dyke!" absolute defensive shit because i just really think people are viscerally disgusted. I know growing up as That Kind Of Woman is never easy for us but confiding in my beautiful model-looking latvian friend that i was a lesbian and her wordlessly moving away and so many other things just confirmed it for me over and over. It makes it worse that she continued to sort of talk to me, it was just a gross thing for me to say and we had to move on quickly. jesus

No. 141330

File: 1591514596256.png (141.21 KB, 637x535, PF.10.29.18_east.west_-00-06-.…)

nta and am latvian kek, homophobia is just kinda widespread even in the younger generations here, don't mind her. i get what you mean with the feeling like a creepy man while approaching women, i relate and i think think it's part of the reason why i don't have any very close female friends anymore since realising i am bi, it just feels like i am a wolf in sheeps clothing and I can't be fully myself and as close as i would like to be. I do realise its just my internal bs, my friends being eastern european and upbringing (re: start of the sentence)

No. 141339

it sucks because i totally go for latvian and cent/eastern european women of any kind i don't know why, it's a different and more refreshing beauty than ours but of course. 86% in russia and even tatu were homophobic kek

No. 141397

I just realized how repressed I actually am when it comes to my sexuality and it's making kinda sad. I just recently admitted to myself that I'm a lesbian and thought that's all there is to it. But when I talked to one of my close friends about it I just started crying out of nowhere. She was really accepting and supportive but that made me even more confused as to why I got so emotional since I thought I already made peace with it. Maybe theres a part of me that's happy to finally get out but right now I think I'll need some time to sort my feelings out so that I don't get a crying fit whenever someone brings it up. (Also the more I think about things that happened in the past the more I'm in disbelief it took me so long to figure myself out. I had crushes on girls since I was 13 but I always pushed it away.)

No. 141887

tfw every girl you crush on ends up ""Coming Out"" as a TIF

i have the curse to turn every cute butch into a trans person. cis-butches don't even exist anymore. fuck this non-gay earth.

No. 141922

Go for studs? It seems like the only butch women left are older.

No. 142284

I wouldn't mind so long as you're cute. My current girlfriend is weebtrash and too bad it's long distance otherwise we'd totally go on dates in weird asf outfits and enjoying being cute misfits together.

also I really hate it when guys hit on me. Makes me want to go grab a fork and gouge their eyes out. And it's like no I didn't look your way you fucking filthy pig. Makes me so angry thinking about it

No. 142296

there are lesbians who date TIFs, if they're not crazy it could work out. unless these women are "gay trans men" in which case lol you're outta luck.

No. 142579

I hope to not come across as offensive or an asshole.

I've been having sex for only a month now, I was a total virgin before that and didn't really have any expectations.
I love my gf and she is GREAT. She absolutely loves going down on me and makes me feel amazing, as if my body is the best one in the world (I have confidence issues and having her in my life is an actual blessing) and she always tells me I taste good and she loves the taste.
And it makes me feel very bad.. cause I don't exactly love going down on her? It's just, not that great. I know it's not supposed to taste good, but when she tells me I taste good and all it just puts that expectation in my head. And honestly the taste just puts me off of it.
I love making her cum, it's the absolute confidence booster, but I much prefer using my fingers or toys.
I'm not even saying she smells, she doesn't. But the saltiness of it and all isn't exactly sexy for me. I would rather die than telling her that tho lol.

Anyway, any other lesbians here who don't really like going down on their gf? This makes me feel the absolute worst to even type lol.

No. 142581


I get what you mean about going down on a girl, in that I enjoy doing it because it makes them feel good and I feel happy they've let me do something so intimate with them, but I do sometimes struggle with taste/textures in general so I find that something I have to shift my focus on. I found using flavoured lubes helped, or mixing up using toys, fingers and my mouth. Maybe using a toy on her until she's close then going in at the last second and finishing her with my tongue. You're not obliged to enjoy anything you don't want to. Maybe it's just not your thing? Definitely don't feel bad about it. Just keep pleasing her in your own way or try the lube!

No. 142601

Hey, thank you for being nice. This was really making me feel like shit.
Of course I still eat her out, I may not enjoy it as much as she does doing it, but I do it cause I want her to feel good and I love her. I like your idea of lubes, I may try different ones.
As I said, she doesn't smell. I'm pretty sure her taste is just normal vagina taste. I just don't love it and don't find it very sexy to be down there..

No. 142611

I've always thought when people comment on how they love the taste of going down on somebody it's just to be flirty and express their general enjoyment because let's be honest, humans are no fruits, there's nothing to really enjoy here, flavor-wise. No worries anon.

No. 142616

Ehhh, in case of my gf I think she really means it lol. And not to redditfag but I actually read their sex related threads and a loot of people there always seem to be genuine when saying they like it, taste and textures included.

No. 142865

I’m in love with my friend who likes another girl that likes her back. I hate it and am afraid I’ll never love another woman as much as I love her. I love everything about her. I have so much lesbian angst.

No. 142869

It's ok anon, I guess nothing is lost yet, it's not as if you fell in love with a hetero woman

No. 142923

I rather it be that because at least I can say she doesn’t like me because she’s straight.

No. 142942

i hate how being a lesbian is clouded by so mich negative shit was it homophobia tranny bullshit goldstar infighting etc it's hard to have positive feeling about being a lesbian because mostly it just reminds me of all the baggage that comes with it

No. 142977

how much of a deal-breaker is herpes for you guys?

No. 142980

death grips are the best band of the 10's, fuck you anon

No. 142986

Complete dealbreaker, personally.

No. 143000

ok anthony

No. 143006

I hate how both of you are right

No. 143008

Oral herpes I don't care about since it's so common, but genital herpes would be a serious issue. Not sure if it would be a complete dealbreaker for me though, if someone is otherwise super great and completely my type I might be okay with it as long as she's honest about it.

No. 143009

Ew don't mention Fantano ever again please

No. 143011

I have genital herpes after being sexually assaulted. Most people I hooked up with since then didn’t care much but every time I read about people’s opinions online I feel like I’ll be forever alone.

No. 143013

genital herpes are also common but you just don't see it for obvious reasons

No. 143033

How common is in your experience to find a lesbian that is right leaning in her political views not just in regards to trannies?
I feel like I'm bound to be forever alone.

No. 143034

I've never met a conservative lesbian in my life but god speed, anon.

No. 143036

Yeah, me neither. I mean, I have online but I haven't met them and they're too far anyway.
Thanks though. Maybe one day…

No. 143105

I wouldn’t care as long as she isn’t expecting to be intimate when having a flare up and is safe about it.

No. 143128

I'm sure you could find one that just doesn't care for politics in general but I doubt rightwing-lesbians are much of a thing if it all. I could be wrong and I don't even belong in this thread since I'm a filthy bisexual.

No. 143129

They exist, my country has a conservative lesbian politician, but imo I don't understand why you would want to align yourself with a group that don't want you and at best will only see your as "one of the good ones".
Still, your kind do exist so you should be able to find one

No. 143132

i was in a right wing lesbian discord once but i’m not even right wing so i left after a while. they’re rare but they do exist!

No. 143530

tips to give good head?

No. 143549

Don't army lesbians tend to be right wing?

No. 143558

I live in a muslim country so obviously, seeing openly lgbt people (besides on twitter) is impossible. I wanna meet other lesbians but everyone I've met my age through dating apps has been… not actually gay? They're usually bicurious and just looking for a sexual experience but I want a long term relationship. Now I'm trying to aim for older women since I always liked older women but 40+ lesbians were impossible to find in my case.
They don't use dating apps, they don't go to small lgbt events, WHERE THE FUCK DO I FIND THEM?

No. 144242

i'm still in the closet and it hurts sadface emoji

No. 144946

I've been with a girl for almost 8 years, but after we broke up I started dating a guy. It's a good relationship, but every now and then I get SO sad, almost nostalgic for a certain feeling?
Not in a sexual way - just the connection you have with another woman is something you can never have with a guy. I miss having deep talks and feeling understood.

No. 145625

File: 1596096359858.jpg (102.56 KB, 746x1024, 1596025475164m.jpg)

Can 80% bisexual leaning gay women post here?
I kinda have regrets about marrying at such a young age but my husband is the only man I have ever had sexual relations with
I grew up in a conservative country so I was never free to explore my homosexual side
I dont know why but I still feel supremely drawn to the idea of dating a woman and getting to know her
Feeling comfortable with each other to take things further sexually
Thing is I absolutely love my husband and feel like we are supremely compatible personality wise
It just always feels like something is missing in the romantic/sexual department which I am attributing to my gayness
Every few months/years of me denying my homolust makes me seek out lesbians to talk to hoping someone can understand and give me answers
Hell I'm doing it right now and for what I think is absolutely no reason because I should be 100% happy with what I have
Not knowing yourself fully and exploring it is true suffering
Oh and this is my latest waifu just so you girls have some eyecandy

No. 145626

Wow this… are you me?

No. 145629


I will always love women more than guys but never got to experience it

Thing is, like you, I love my boyfriend immensely and we're so compatible, just feel like maybe I'd be better off as a lesbian?

But I'm fine right where I am.

No. 145630

>Can 80% bisexual leaning gay women post here?
>I kinda have regrets about marrying at such a young age but my husband
oh fuck no

No. 145633

Eh I keep going back and forth on how I feel overall about my husband and our relationship
Care to elaborate anon?

No. 145636

I think we need a general lesbian and bi thread for same sex attracted women. Talking about being with men here is going to piss off the lesbians as it's Lesbian general only.

No. 145639

what >>145636 said. Make a bi thread if you wanna talk about, well, being bi.
If you fuck men and even have a husband this is not a thread for you. Simple as that.

No. 145645

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend which is why I asked if I could speak my mind here

No. 145791

Do you enjoy sex with your husband? Do you love him romantically?

No. 146004

Oh boi

No. 146039

idk you can dump your husband if you want to be with a woman so much. or suggest him to open your relationship. if he isn't extremely conservative or staunchly monogamous he'll probably accept your offer and won't even be jealous if you promise to not fuck other men.

your generic big tiddy goth waifu is trash btw

No. 146116

After a long period of denying my sexuality due to family trauma I came out to my close group of friends. Beginning to think it was a really bad idea as they've all become really distant over the past week, been meeting up without me etc
It's probably because I broke up with a guy in the group a couple months ago. I didn't feel attracted to him whatsoever but I do appreciate and love him
I feel like my life has been totally uprooted, which is not something I needed in my early twenties. I don't even know where to start dating women

No. 146119

It's pretty shit if they're judging you for 'shock horror' coming out in your early twenties after dating a guy first. I mean it's not unheard of.

I have two ex bfs, sex and attraction was incredibly lacking with both of them, I got two totally different reactions from them when I came out. One thought I was making it up purely to humiliate him.. The other was actually the most understanding person when I came out because he could really see all the signs in hindsight. Your guy might be taking the first reaction and may be appealing to the friendgroup for support?

No. 146122

Curious if most anons think they were bi before they realized they were gay or were some of you truly convinced that you were straight?

No. 146132

I thought I was straight but with the old asexual/aromantic combo and said shit like my body is a temple so no man can touch me or math is my boyfriend etc. At the same time I had very obvious crushes on girls in my school but wouldn't title them that or take them seriously enough to call myself bi.

No. 146189

I have such retarded complexes over my sexuality basically I think that I have just brainwashed myself into thinking that I am a lesbian, that for example when I masturbate to women and think about sexy situations with them I am conditioning myself to associate women with sexual pleasure/orgasms and brainwash myself into thinkin I am sexually attracted to women. I am aware that straight women most likely wouldn't be so occupied with thinking about sex with women or wouldn't even be coming up with sexy situations about women in the first fucking place. This is ridiclous how do I stop being like this.

No. 146245

I dated men and thought I was bi. My relationships with men were either sexless or if there was sex I absolutely dreaded it and the lack of regular sex led to lots of fighting ..yep totally bi lol

No. 146269

This is retarded but I low-key thought like this for a while too. What fixed it was actually having sex with a woman and now the thought of any other constellation seems kind of weird and gross to me.

No. 146288

Oh so it is once again my permavirginess that has fucked my brain, should have known

No. 146647

used to think i was "panromantic asexual" = attracted to women and hypothetically in super specific situations would consider romantically being with a dude but absolutely no sex/physical intimacy
turns out i was just in denial about only liking women and considered myself ace because i was 15 lol

No. 146650

i have a really hard time making friends and I don’t know if it’s bc I’m asian, my adhd throws them off, or if they’re homophobic. I think it’s bc I’m asian, my wife thinks it’s bc people don’t like that I’m a lesbian. What do you guys think?

It’s def not bc I’m in my 20s and people in my age range have difficulties making and maintaining friendships, I watch my classmates and coworkers around me constantly make connections with each other outside of professional settings and those relationships continue through not being forced to be in each others presence through work or school. I always feel like I’m on the outside looking in and idk what to do about it or if I even really want to change it bc I really like not having friends. I’m mostly asking bc I’ve noticed a huge trend of lesbian loneliness being worsened by quarantine.

No. 146677

I love him romantically but I often fantasize about being with a woman or him turning into a woman to satisfy my sexual needs

No. 146862

File: 1596892341126.gif (3.73 MB, 498x282, 6ae4a0ce2705f31738917d0ad56f96…)

I downloaded HER app on a whim and started talking to a girl I instantly had chemistry with and now we're going to see each other next week. I feel so stupid because I have a boyfriend and I identify as bi but I'm also unsure about my attraction to men. I love my boyfriend and he's my best friend but I feel a sexual void and discomfort sometimes. I just wish I could know for sure so I can forget about it all it keeps me up at night and it's bothering me. At this point I feel like I've been questioning since 15 and I don't know what to do or who to even tell. If my family found out I would be disowned. I feel so terrible for what I'm doing but I just want to stop second guessing everything about sex because I keep looking at women and thinking about women and it makes me feel like a pervert. I've never looked at men in that way, I do find my boyfriend attractive and I can tolerate his dick but I don't love it. I'm scared that if I don't figure this out right now I'll be in my 40s or married and it'll be worse.
I don't know what to do and I'm scared my boyfriend will be upset if I bring anything up about questioning my sexuality because he knows I'm bisexual.

No. 146865

uhh do you not think hell be upset once he finds out youre going on a date with a woman, essentially cheating on him? and the woman youre going on a date with will be upset once she finds out you have a fucking boyfriend? foh, go explore your sexuality without leading others on, dumbass

No. 146870

Are you in a particularly conservative area? If people really are avoiding you because you're asian or lesbian that'd be really concerning and I'd consider living somewhere else. Honestly anon, if everyone around you is doing fine making connections, maybe you should look into the possibility that you have social anxiety issues.

No. 146872

Fucking divorce him before you date women. Wtf

No. 146875

Anon, this is the lesbian thread. Bisexual thread is in the catalog.
When are they going to learn, smh

No. 146877

>>146872 We're not married I just don't want to lose him and ruin everything I just felt really confused it's just been texting and chatting like friends but I feel it's gotten way too far and I feel terrible. I don't want to fuck up if I'm wrong but I sincerely do not know.
I'm questioning, I don't know if I'm really bi at all but I'm out as bi to less than a handful of people.

No. 146879

I hate this fucking thread. God how are you people so bad at this.

No. 146884

Has anyone here or anyone you know had experiences getting a child as a lesbian couple? Or know any resources regarding it? I'm absolutely not going to fuck a man to conceive but I'd still love to have children of my own at some point so I'd just like to read some stories.

No. 146886

Not experience but aside from foster/adoption there’s IVF and surrogacy. But all options are extremely pricy. You can try to find a charitable friend who may give you her eggs/his sperm or carry the baby for you (altruistic surrogacy) to save on costs. You still always need an ART lawyer regardless of which you choose.

No. 146906

Please, go to the bisexual thread already.

No. 147118

I'm just wondering, has anyone else had denied ever being a lesbian before realising that you're one? Before I realised I was autistic (official diagnoses) and a lesbian, I unfortunately had internalised lesbophobia/homophobia and ableism/autismphobia. I then would deny, and say I'm just a hetero and neurotypical. I'm not interested in having a gf atm, but when I was, I would 1.) get rejected irl, and when on dating apps,(mainly went on Zoe, Tinder, and HER) all I saw where creeps looking for a third (even on dating apps meant for lesbians) and there would be "transbians" on there. No thanks.

No. 147140

I wish I could put my head in another women's chest every night before I fall asleep
Why is life so cruel?

No. 147190

I was 30 before I was officially diagnosed with high fuctioning autism and given that I had to start being honest with myself about that.. I stopped denying my sexuality shortly after that too. I still have moments where I struggle with the thought that 'gay and autistic' is not what my dad would've wanted in a kid.

No. 147210

I used to know one. she was older though.

No. 147219

If he as a male is not enough to turn you on, and you want to be with a woman that badly… anon, you're probably gay.

You could try to open up the relationship, but good luck finding a woman willing to date a woman with a husband lol.

No. 147248

It's been 5 years since I've stopped denying my sexuality and 2 years since I've been reassessed with Level 1 Autism. I also still have moments where I want to be "normal" but what is even normal anyways?

No. 147280

Look I fully accept that men do nothing for me and that I am attracted to most women I see irl
I have tried everything to get turned on by my husband. Even convincing him to dress up as a girl to trick my brain somewhat but it doesnt work
I dont want to think sex is important because I do love him
Yes there are times I feel like a psychopath for not loving him as much as I say I do
But whenever I think about being without him I get tearful at the thought
I've always said this to myself as a teenager but if the lesbian dating scene wasnt so tiny I would easily just date women
Imo a life of at least having a partner is better than being forever alone

No. 147449

Saw these two on twitter and found their YT. So fuckin cute.

No. 149226

File: 1598548384843.jpg (175.09 KB, 1064x1315, Screenshot_2020-08-25-22-10-35…)

Some sexual content for you lovely ladies

No. 149237

Whose hand is this?

No. 149241

Thanks but I'm more of a boob girl tbh

No. 149251

Anyone know what kinda nail varnish she's got on?
I like the "no nail varnish" look it has

No. 149252

Probably just some top coat.

No. 149255

File: 1598557556497.jpg (98.33 KB, 1171x1491, d5c0f16a9d91362b884a7f8fdf8aa9…)

It looks like one of those milky nude nailpolishes, like essie's ballet slippers for example (pic related)

No. 149256

I'm not into hands, but damn, that is one beautiful hand

No. 149279

File: 1598585319063.jpeg (116.98 KB, 691x537, 3A173D88-0748-4E33-9914-E5C79D…)

So if I’m understanding this correctly.. if I’m not attracted to penises thennn I’m homosexual?

Hi—I’m gonna spill a lot of incoherent 3 am thoughts here….(sorry in advance if it’s a bother/usually lc lurker too)…bc quarantine has allowed me to reflect over my life/myself. I’m turning 21 soon and sooo I’ve been struggling with my sexuality for a minute. I’m a virgin and a kiss-virgin. I was raised in a Christian household (with my parent’s toxic marriage) and basically suppressed any sort of desire to be in a romantic relationship—>and then also being sexually active, since I was 12. My parents don’t approve of homosexual relationships at all, they’re probably homophobic, but they don’t act outwardly hateful. I mean my mom was friends with like a butch lesbian turned FTM when I was in elementary school. But for sure they’d be heartbroken/disgusted maybe(?) if I ever came out as gay to them. I mean I randomly wrote a poem about my ex-best friend in 5th grade. Proudly showed it to my mom and she got mad saying it sounded like a lover’s poem since I was describing her flowy hair and personality similarly to the way you’d write like a love letter in the 1700s. Hm, I guess I’ve always yearned for a deep bond with another girl since I could remember. Speaking of 12 years old, that was when I first ever got sexually aroused—and it was to boob cleavage. Oh man, I remember blushing at lingerie photos and trying to take mental pictures to think about at night ahhha yikes. I’d blush whenever id talk to an adult with a v-cut shirt. I also have this attraction?(I guess) with like women’s arms. Plushy soft but somewhat firm arms are so inviting and comforting, it just makes me smile whenever they sling(?) an arm around my shoulders… It’s a bit odd I know.

Anyway, anyway… I’m a bit confused because I don’t think I’ve been sexually attracted to any man before (As in, the desire to engage in sex) the idea of a masculin figure leering over me and just being too close for too long.. repulses me a bit? But I have experienced liking some guys’ faces and voices before. That’s the thing! I seem to be attracted to their voices and faces (especially if they’re a
androgynous) BUUUT their anatomy/wanting to kiss/intercouse is just a big “no way, not interested” for me. Ah. I have this memory… in middle or high school, forgot, a grade-mate was visibly “rubbing” himself at me during lunchtime and I was disgusted and angry. My friends told me I should of felt flattered but I was revolted. Anytime a guy (which mind you, was only around 3 times—apparently I’m bit intimidating haha whoops) showed an active interest in me I would become cold towards them. I just didn’t want to pursue any sort of relationship them. I was only driven to admire and have fluttery feelings when watching the pretty ones exist near me in class until I would eventually lose interest. Hah I remember reading articles about “how to woo a woman/girl as a guy” so I could get a leg up and pick up on hints If a guy would make moves on me. Looking back now, I seemed to just have like getting the initial attention from guys but then I would always wave them off. (Currently, I don’t give a fuck about men and their thoughts.) At one point, I’d counsel my friends whenever they’d ask me for relationship advice since I always seemed disinterested in dating and was sensible/“seemed mature” (I’m glad I helped some of gals avoid scummy boys tho) It was hard to relate to the constant boy talk because they’d gush about abs and biceps and butts and I would laugh while feeling confused and say what’s so sexy about a stomach?? To my knowledge noone was gay in my schools (well, nobody publicly identified) since I went to Christian secondary schools.
I remember crying & feeling dirty at Christian camp because I felt like a fuckup since there was a high possibility that I was into girls. yeaahhh bad times.

Now as for girls, at 13 I was taught that ”boo boo baba bah beee homosexuality is bad bad bad!!” Annnd immediately, I got scared and I sort of mentally blocked myself in a way. I veered off and got into male x male erotica material—mostly audio/reading. (lol but w/w didn’t appeal to me tho!?) While I was ashamed to be even delving into erotic stuff, I thought it would make me into guys since it only focused on guys. Logic 101–weeeeirdest path I’ve ever took and to this day idk what exactly peeked this interest. But one thing I’ve been adamant in is my repulsion to penises. seigneur—that shit looks gross. They look like protruding alien-ish worms. Even worst in their flaccid state. I appreciate nudity in sculpture and painting but haaaaate the prescence of dicks. I don’t think I ever want to be touched by one. Let alone have one in my MOUTH. Vaginas are generally neutral to me. Ive felt like creep for always starting at bums/legs and woman’s body shapes for the longest time. But I credited it to insecurity or just thought I did this to avoid “sinful lust of men” but nah it’s because guys’ bodies just didn’t do it for me. I’ve had some crushes on girls/classmates before but quick dismissed them as something else. Plus as I got older I sort of became a loner and most of the girls around me.. ignored me since I didn’t share hobbies/interests. My schools’ student population was always on the smaller side so not a large pool of personalities. Kinda feel sad about this tbh. Irl I tend to get attracted to girls who go for like the natural look— almost reminiscent of the late 60s-ish…have a bold but silent type of personality, and who are like strong gentle giants. Lol. But I remember getting the hot hots for scully in the x files, and Jodie forster’s voice in Contact. I watched Elizabeth debicki in that one cloverfield movie last summer and I’ve never crushed so hard. My heart felt like it was going crazy that night and lead me to seriously question my sexuality.

Now that I think about it, I’ve never pictured being married to a guy. Even my sibling told me that she could never picture me in a typical relationship and that stuck with me. I’m okay with thought of being a single old lady too. But eh..Sucks I repressed/suppressed? my original feelings throughout my teens tbh. maybe I would of been into dating a lot sooner. experiencing some serious fomo atm.
Idk how I feel about sex in general. Whenever I’d fantasize or whatever, I’m just never in my fantasies/it’s made up people. Like me being sensual is kinda uncomfortable…Actually I’m a bit scared of it…period? I’m okay with the thought of cuddling and snuggling. But closer intimacy is daunting. I also feel super guilty and shitty for thinking that gay sex in general isn’t “real sex” since the intended genitalia aren’t being united. I could blame my religious upbringing for that kinda thought I guess…or not.
Scream at me my dudes and tell me what’s up with me. That is if I’m even worth the read lol. Honestly sorry guys for this text column, I didn’t think it’d be this long.

Anyway, I hope to begin my romantic chapter in my life and pursue a lovely relationship with a woman post quarantine/pandemic. I think that in my heart it’s what I want? I just hope to find an understanding and patient(?) partner
I hope my English was error free ladies it’s late where I am atm.

No. 149282

You're a total lesbian anon, I hope someday you can date a cute girl too and be happy with her. I'm sorry you had to repress your feelings for so long, you deserve so much better. Do you think your siblings would at least support your sexaulity?

No. 149341

Thank you I appreciate your response, I really hope so too!

Oh totally! My younger sib has always been on the tomboy side (I'm also suspicious of her sexuality since we both never showed active interest in guys haha), and we've both agreed that we would accept/love our hypothetical children if they ever came out to us. Idk about my older sibs though.

No. 149383

I really hate when on a dating profile, she clearly states she's lesbian instead of bisexual and when you meet her, she mentions her kids and her ex eventually.
I appreciate when they put it in the profile so it's easy to filter them out but damn, I get my hopes up and then squashed within 15 minutes of meeting.
Has anyone else gave up on meeting?

No. 149614

i know that im 100% a lesbian but i still cant help but crave male attention. the comphet runs so deep i hate it

No. 149621

I hate this too but some women really do realize that they're lesbians a bit late so I try to be understanding

No. 149645

>im 1000% a lesbian but-
no you are not, you are bi, sorry. Jfc what's up with everyone trying to be seen as a lesbian when they're not? You realize bi women who are mostly into women but still have some residual attraction to men exist and are as valid as lesbians and there is nothing wrong with that, do you? You still can prioritize relationships with women without lying to yourself. Believe me, its just the healthiest for everyone.

No. In this day and age when you stay in a marriage with a man for years, have several kids with him and don't take any chance to leave you are not a lesbian. Even if she may have not been attracted to him sexually she probably has been attracted to him in some other way, and its still attraction to men. And when she's trying to meet and date lesbians, she should make clear her sexuality because I can understand some lesbians just don't want to put up with the children of some random dude, otherwise you are scamming people from their time. It's not the same as a bi or a brainwashed lez who was in a marriage by mistake and gets a divorce in a few months or after one or two years and has stayed childless.

No. 149646

anyway does anyone have good recs for lesbian sites and forums? there was the l chat which was trash btw, but nowadays it's still trashy but not even active anymore. Afterellen closed, and so did another lezzie forum which name i can't recall right now.

Why do the fags get to keep their datalounge for the years to come but all lesbian spaces just die out or are shut down?

No. 149647

you just described many of my lesbian dating attempts, anon. When they are actual women and not a catfish, its always either the pickme who wants a girl to do a threesome with the husband or 18 yo girls who tag themselves as lesbian but are too young for me and by no chance I could date them at my late 30s. It just kinda sucks to be a lez in this time and age. I kind of given up too.

No. 149648

*early 30s. fuck, I am not that much of a grandma

No. 149663

Like >>149648 I'm early thirties and while it has taken me a while to get away from an oppressive family and community.. I'm now ready to date but the only options I see on apps are way too young for me (I missed out on my fun gay youth but I'm sure as hell not going to be that creep dating 10 years younger to make up for it) Or I get women my age with the baggage of several kids and a couple of fathers they coparent with. TBH I had a very short marriage when I was young too but I can at least say that it was entirely sexless and obviously kid-free.

The dating options I have are terrible. I put my love life on hold for about 10 years while trying to save up and move country. Now I'm living here without a lovelife anyway. Cool lol

No. 149681

Oh dear, I'm in my early 20s and stuck in an awful country. I worry that this will be my future if I don't get my shit together and move asap. Already know that I'll have a hard time just because of my complete lack of dating experience

No. 149703

It's so weird (and sad) that we all have exactly the same dating experience. I'm 29 but in the past 3 years, I've been installing and uninstalling dating apps on and off for the same reasons you mentioned. I was even toying with the idea of arranging a date with a 18yo out of mere desperation but gave up because it would be creepy and I just can't connect to someone that much younger than me which is rather hypocritical since I wouldn't mind a woman much older than me provided she's an actual lesbian.

Living in a lgbt-unfriendly country, it took me some courage to put myself out there, all for naught it seems.

No. 149726

If it makes you feel any better, there’s less of a life experience difference between two older people than one older person and one younger person. You wanting to date older than yourself is less creepy and prone to abuse than someone older wanting to date younger.

No. 149789

File: 1598981125899.jpg (87.63 KB, 828x616, 526b39b47709f3c2ad2876dff5d308…)

lol k. i have 0 attraction to men, im just an attention whore and want other people to be attracted to me and i like to feel wanted - which is incredibly easy to manipulate men into. which then seems like me liking men, which is not what it is. just bc youre the perfect little lesbian who doesnt even look at men doesnt mean everyone is. i might be crazy but i do know my sexual orientation

No. 149838

me too. no attraction to men whatsoever but was brainwashed into caring what they think of me. idk why that's so hard for some people to comprehend but good for them if they've never experienced it ig

No. 149843

Gold stars are fucking exhausting, I'd date a bi girl over an egotist any day.

No. 149855

Don't worry, most people here get what you mean, that anon is a little bitch.

No. 149907

File: 1599052769734.jpeg (755.53 KB, 828x1020, 9A0640AE-AE53-4AB5-AC77-65B0C7…)

Feminine lesbians exist retard

No. 149913

I think the issue is them being immature, though. Does anyone over 18 wear striped socks?

No. 149919

at least post decent weebshit for once

No. 149943

> decent
You can't possibly expect that from a tranny.

No. 150020

File: 1599123389956.jpg (460.6 KB, 2816x2112, IhuXa5Z.jpg)

For you boob ladies, how strong are your boob preferences, if you have any? I'm pretty self-conscious about how mine look. I think they're shaped ok but they're very low-set so to me they look like old lady tits no matter what. I'm scared that if I ever manage to get into bed with a girl, she'll be turned off once the bra comes off. I try telling myself that it's only pornsick men who care about that, but what would my virgin ass know, I'd be happy to see boobs at all fml

Tell me, anons: is breast shape a real concern in the lesbian world?

No. 150021

boobs = win

No. 150043

I have a bit of a preference for bigger boobs (or a handful at least) and I expect that with size comes extra gravity, it's just to be expected. I don't really look at a well endowed chest and expect it to defy gravity when the bra comes off.

No. 150046

I don't care. I like all boobs, even no boobs (post-mastectomy etc). The woman attached to them makes it sexy or not.

No. 150053

File: 1599133471091.jpg (276.09 KB, 1280x1280, working out.jpg)

I'm a cis-butch, we still exist, but it's lonely out here.
I don't have a feeling many samesex attracted women are attracted to butches anyway and definitely not to my type.
I don't subscribe to any heteronormative roles, my masculinity is not fragile so I don't mind cooking/baking/etc or being gentle, but it also means I'm not going to pay for EVERY restaurant bill or act overly macho all the time, which disappoints many. I'm not curvy/chubby, but rather muscular+small chest, another disappointment for many.
I mainly get attention from bi-curious straight women, so I get why a lot of other butches end up thinking they are trans. It's their prerogative though, can't help who you're attracted and who not and I personally don't mind staying alone.

No. 150061

You sound lovely, anon

No. 150096

I'd be into you anon, sounds great. I don't get why some people want overly macho or overly feminine partners.

No. 150097

I agree with anons above. The natural beauty of the female form actually blows my mind. I think big breasts are very beautiful, the effect of gravity is pleasant, thats just what a woman's body looks like and quite frankly it's fantastic. Not to mention it looks infinitely better than like, bolted-on tits lol. I think anyone who isn't a pornsick cum brain can appreciate that. It sounds like you have nothing to worry about anon.

No. 150111

Once you turn 18, you have to stop wearing cute and fun clothes. This is a no fun zone.

No. 150114

you guys are hard to find nowadays, good luck anon! (if it makes you feel any better, you sound like my type lol.)

No. 150237

Has anyone learned they were lesbian not because they were attracted to women… but repulsed by men? I was someone who considered themselves asexual for a long time because I never had any thoughts or feelings about it towards men. Even as a kid my friends would get crushes on guys and celebrities and I could never relate.
I always said I never wanted to get married cause I guess I always thought of marriage in a hetero way and didn't want to be trapped in that life. But thinking about building a life with a woman feels cozier and more fulfilling to me? Still I don't feel immediate sexual attraction to anyone. I'm not the type for hookups and it takes a long time for me to get comfortable with people for me to even let them touch me. So I don't know if I can properly label myself if I haven't had that close of a relationship with a woman yet. All I know is that I'm not interested in men, so I'm kind of left with one more option if I want to start dating.

No. 150247

You might be ace but for now being open about it and slowly learning about your sexuality is totally fine anon. Your feelings can easily be a combination of low sex drive and being gay, but definitely keep your options open and don't fear an asexual conclusion either.

No. 150259

I had this experience with a girl in high school, where she was undressing right in front of me in her room (I was closeted this was not a sexual act) and she had low hanging boobs. And I was so embarassed and yet amazed that she dared show off her chest so easily and was so confident. Now I kind of have special attraction to low hanging boobs. Sorry if this sounds strange.

No. 150520

God I'm so fucking sexually frustrated that I feel like getting with pretty much any woman I see irl
I feel like I sound like a gross man saying this but I'm in a type of limbo between wanting to bang but at the same time having no relief
I cant get into any sexual fantasy beyond something simple so I never really feel the urge to masturbate and when I do it never goes anywhere

No. 150533

File: 1599525480641.jpeg (72.63 KB, 548x680, D4XtI3mW4AALFT5.jpeg)

i'm a mid-20s lesbian and honestly i'm getting so tired of "internet lesbian" culture. like i feel like the label of lesbian has become a cultural clout signifier that has more to do with the type of clothes you wear and the media you consume than… you know… being a woman attracted to women? also hate how normalized codependency in lesbian relationships is (pic related). Like… no… moving in after knowing each other for a month is not a "cute uwu lesbian UHaul moment" it's a stupid fucking idea that raises nothing but red flags imo.

idk it makes the idea of dating so unappealing bc you have no idea if the girl you're going to find a) is actually attracted to women (vs. frustrated w dating scrotes and wanting this mythical lesbian relationship that only exists in memes) and b) is actually emotionally healthy and able to have a relationship with reasonable expectations of communication/availability/boundaries.

not huge into boobs (i developed young which def played a role in warping my relationship w my body + breasts in general) but if i had to generalize from my own experiences i'd say you rly don't have much if anything to worry about. lesbians are not totally pornsick and warped to the point where they think tits are supposed to look like beach balls with a thumb tack stuck in them like scrotes are. Breasts also look v. different depending on the angle and position that you're in. My rule of thumb is if we're at the point where I'm seeing you topless, I truly don't give a shit about what's under the shirt – just want us both to have a good time!!

No. 150569

File: 1599547461743.jpg (1.14 MB, 1357x1224, 1598930652919.jpg)

No. 150570

not really. All boobs ae good boobs

No. 150589

File: 1599556940538.jpeg (44.97 KB, 720x726, 805181ED-5590-4D44-A420-6E7B03…)

Help homies how do I lose my virginity as a 30 year old who’s never been with a woman? I go so hard on my clit (fav vibe is the teeth chatterer) and I’m afraid when I do hook up with a girl it’s going to end poorly because I won’t know what to do with my hands and end up like a scrote rubbing her shit to dust.
>also rip how 2 meet girls when you’re a pizza face?

No. 150590

This. I just want to talk about liking girls but some anons in this thread are gate keeping a sexuality, lmao.

No. 150596

I doubt this data is reliable. Half the people claiming to be "women" are probably just troons.

No. 150656

I didn't expect japanese to be such a popular search term for women aswell.

It's the only search term I ever use and I do it because asian men don't gross me out in the same way others do..? so I can enjoy straight porn with less distraction. I feel so weird (and kind of ashamed) of that preference but I developed that taste at some point and here I am exclusively watching straight japanese porn as a white lesbian.

No. 150666

File: 1599596536534.jpg (29.72 KB, 550x455, external-content.duckduckgo-1.…)

Im sorry but….teeth chatterer?

No. 150728

Don't sweat it too much anon. Once you get into a happy relationship with someone, sex becomes a lot less intimidating. They'll understand; it's common for lesbians to be "late bloomers" when it comes to sex and relationships.

No. 150732

vibrators that go so hard they make your teeth chatter in your mouth, like wand massagers

No. 150862

What >>150728 said. And just be upfront about your situation anon! Tbh depending on where you live you might have luck finding someone who's into the fantasy of, like, "showing you the ropes" or whatever. Talk with her ahead of time and make sure you're on the same page. You might even be able to bring the "teeth chatterer" along for the ride – I'd say most if not all of the lesbos I know are into using toys with partners.

Don't expect your first time w/ a woman to be flawless or super easy/comfy? You'll probably (hopefully) have a good time but the first time is usually pretty awkward regardless. Take it as a learning experience and a milestone!

No. 151255

I check in and the first fucking thing I see are bishits talking about their husbands and craving male attention. Can anyone recommend a decent venue to talk to real lesbians?

No. 151304

just came out as a lesbian to my friend. one person knows… im not sure how i feel

No. 151349

at l chat they don't tolerate this

No. 151357

That's why lesbian anons should make an extra effort to kick the bisexuals out of the thread. It's not pleasant to walk in a lesbian thread only to face so many posts talking about muh husband, muh boyfriend, muh men

No. 151359

How old are you anon?

I'm an oldfag but I'm at a point again where nobody in my life knows. I've told a handful of people before but now that I've moved to a different part of the country and kind of restarted here.. I've lost touch with those friends and I'm back to having nobody in my life know. Also I've moved from a city to a rural and religious area so I might have to keep it that way. I'm too old for this.

No. 151369

The first people I've told were a couple of coworkers. I still haven't told my real friends. I recently told my cousin. I'm still waiting for covid to pass so I can make some big life changes. For me telling the first person was a huge, huge relief. Felt like I fixed my life. Same for realizing I'm gay. Things that made me feel broken suddenly made sense and I felt far better about myself, internally. Anxiety about how my current life doesn't fit who I am followed and felt like shit but. At least I know myself.

No. 151379

I just ignore them. There's no way to escape them in any lesbian space. So either stricter mods which I doubt or just ignore.

No. 151437

this. every lesbian space gets invaded by bishits eventually. all we can do is drown them out

No. 151813

I like keeping up with my highschool peer’s socials and I was saddened to see that my ex gf had turned into a lesbian hating bisexual. always posting shit like “lesbians are biphobic because…” and “lesbians are transphobic” garbage, not to mention the endless remarks about how a boy broke her heart but she still has to see him everyday because they’re coworkers. but she recently got herself a gf and guess what? no more hot lesbophobic takes on her socials anymore. it’s only biphobic until you manage to snag a yourself girlfriend then you can sperg all you want about how lesbian you are and how wonderful all women are, even though just last week you were a bitter, sad bisexual.

I feel sorry for the girl she managed to rope into her depressed existence. she talks about nothing else other than her abusive parents and how she’s a product of her trauma. she’s also a closet alcoholic and spends all her free time on tumblr. seriously, i’ve never met a well adjusted, “went to therapy to fix their problems” 20-something who uses tumblr as their main social media. all I can say is I hope that new girlfriend can survive numerous weekends of self pity drinking and drunk crying. god help her.

No. 151828

think i'm finally starting to realize at almost 30 that i really am a lesbian and not bi or pan or whatever. i think i really did suffer from this societal expectation that girls like boys and stuff. had a lot of crushes on boys but never acted on them, only dreamed about being with them but i thought i could never have sex with them. i briefly identified as asexual when i was 16 (loooong before it became popular on tumblr, that wasn't a thing when i was a teenager) because of that. whenever i imagined myself in a relationship, it would be with a guy, but that's probably because society expects women to be with men. but whenever a guy was interested in me, i just became so overwhelmed. being with a guy is so much trouble, they can get you pregnant, you can get UTIs if you don't pee after sex, etc. it's like sex with men is poisoning women. i also thought i wasn't attracted to women because i didn't find lesbian porn appealing. ofc it's made to appeal to men, but some of it is tasteful. turns out i'm just not into these super skinny/borderline anorexic body types.

looking back it's not a surprise at all since my default reaction to anything men do is disgust/annoyance, but i don't know why it took me so long to realize this. i'm just upset that i have no experience at all when it comes to relationships. or physical contact in general. i think maybe that would have made it easier to figure myself out.

No. 151888

comp het is a disease and it’s constantly pushed on all women everywhere that our connections to men is what makes us valuable. good job on being confident i your sexuality though, it’s not easy to purge the influence of comp het and admit that your attraction to men is made up. and if it makes you feel any better, i think younger people now aren’t any more likely to realize they’re lesbians at a younger age than you were.

No. 151898

On the topic of bis shitting on lesbian has anyone else witnessed the following phenomenon: some crazy ass borderline pickme high bi femme who can't score a man because even they can't stand her shit takes in a shy butch girl to put her through the drama fits and endless craving for attention because she knows the butch's dating pool is almost nonexistent and she doesn't have much choice than to just endure the abuse. I don't know if I'm imagining things but I swear this dynamic happens so often that it frightens me.

No. 151900

happened to me once. i was a more masculine lesbian a few years ago and got pulled into the gravitation of a sweet looking baby gay. she turned out to be a binge drinker and took her insecurities about her looks onto me.

No. 151921

I've seen this where it even turns into clear abuse/domestic violence. When people think of DV in lesbian relationships they seem to assume the more masculine woman will always be the perpetrator but I've mostly seen the opposite. I think it's rooted in that belief that the butch woman has less options so has to put up with 'a bit of crazy' in order to date

No. 151923

>When people think of DV in lesbian relationships they seem to assume the more masculine woman will always be the perpetrator but I've mostly seen the opposite.
Agree. The more I think about it the more I can come up with examples from my personal life and universal cases. Latest I've seen was this one very femme, almost thotlike girl was throwing herself at every man she came across, but once none of them took her seriously due to her drama queen behavior she went and got herself a handsome butch girlfriend. I'm scared for that poor woman, I hope she leaves when appropriate.

No. 151931

you're definitely right. a lot of young women will think that they are also into men because this is what society forces us to believe.

i hate men/male socialization so much, i wish i could live in a women only commune or on an island where there are only women. i just want there to be no men around me. i want it to be easier to flirt with a woman without worrying if she's really gay or just european. and i don't want to be led on by straight girls anymore who just want lesbian attention when they really only care about dick.

sorry for the constant blogging, i'm just so frustrated and angry lately.

No. 151939

I know a few correctional officers and they say that's how abusive "relationships" work in womens prison. Laymen might assume it's stronger butch lesbians taking advantage of smaller femme women but it's usually femme bi women (who'd often identify as straight on the outside) exploiting and threatening butch lesbians into being their "husbands" for sex and physical protection. A common method of bullying is spreading rumors about the butch being the sexually abusive one since that's how the stereotype goes.

No. 151946

This shit scares me so much I'm just going to be a femme.

No. 151948

That's a really interesting piece of information and makes a lot of sense. Lesbians tend to have a "I'll just grab what I can get" mindset due to the dating pool being so small and I can totally see assertive femme bihets taking advantage of that.

As a tomboy attracted to high femmes I find it depressing to the point I wish I was femme enough to avoid this shit lmao.

No. 151964

it often stems from the more traditionally feminine one feeling insecure about her own looks and sexuality and projecting that onto her butch partner. she often fears what the people around her will think of her having a partner who is so outwardly and boldly lesbian and how she stands out in a crowd and thinks that will reflect negatively on herself so she tries to change the way her partner looks. starts out as “can i please put makeup on you? i just want to see how you look!” and the it turns into full fledged abuse where she’ll pitch a fit if her butch partner dares to wear anything from the men’s section. too many butches fall victim to those soft looking femmes and i really hate the culture around persecuting butches that bisexuals and insecure lesbians champion.

No. 151975

>i really hate the culture around persecuting butches that bisexuals and insecure lesbians champion.
If I got a coin every time I saw bihets and these insecure femme lesbians shitting on butches and claiming they're "super rapey" because they're unladylike or ridiculing them for dressing masculine I'd top Jeff Bezos. But what you wrote makes sense and explains a lot of my observations that I couldn't quite figure out before. Butch/tomboy women just seem to have no place anywhere and it's no wonder so many of them troon out and start dating each other. It's fucking depressing to be the butt of the joke and stereotyped as rapists for no reason all the time.

No. 151977

sounds a load of cope

No. 151989

yea I think they're taking this too far there

No. 151998

I disagree, I've seen this happen and experienced it myself, although I don't believe these attitudes are solely perpetuated by bi women. There's just a bias towards masculine women, and those women are treated poorly as a result.

No. 152026

ntayrt but coping with what exactly?

No. 152032

Gonna guess that they're implying that butch women are trying to cope with the fact that they're single by claiming that femme lesbians despise them which is a huge leap in logic from the anons' posts that are talking about real life experiences of going through abuse in a relationship. Guessing it's the lurking bis/hets posting again and proving the point.

No. 152167

this is exactly why no lesbian wants to date bisexuals. messy af.

No. 152177

>mfw as a soft butch I recognize my old relationship from this
A high femme who constantly wanted me to "just try out, just once" all these ultra feminine clothes she knew made me uncomfortable and talked about how good I would look in all these cute femme pieces and makeup while I was all about a very boyish look with minimal makeup and felt more comfortable in masculine clothing. She didn't directly shame the way I looked but she made sure to loudly shit talk people who had a style similar to mine and every time I dressed a bit more feminine she kept excessively complimenting how beautiful I looked. Looking back on it it always made me feel like I wasn't good enough and caused me huge self image issues. Sorry for blogposting but I didn't even know this was a thing, it's quite the relief to look back on it and realize I wasn't just an ugly piece of shit.

No. 152372

I've never had sex… the last time I even kissed a woman was October of last year and it never went further because I ghosted her. I'm 27 and at this point I'm scared to enter a relationship because I wouldn't know what to do, so I avoid anyone with any passing interest in me. How does someone overcome this?? Am I just destined to be a permavirgin? Should I make up a sexual history to feel less insecure? Do other lesbians even care?

No. 152376

I'm 27 and I wouldn't care

No. 152379

I'm 31, I havent had sex with another woman in ten years. The reason being I spent the last decade trying to please family and be force being straight (those relationships were close to sexless too) so I certainly wouldn't judge you for your circumstances.

I think there's various reasons why we either stay virgins longer or go long gaps of time without sex. I would just be honest. You might meet someone and find that they feel pretty special to be your first.

No. 152395

That sucks, she was being extremely toxic to you. I'm not sure how far trying to psychoanalyze a high femme person will get you guys though. Sounds like she thought you were ultimately unattractive and was trying to change you. It happens in any orientation, with any combo of femme/masc style preferences. Sometimes partners think you're beneath them in some way and try to "fix" it. It's shitty and you should end it but I doubt you're able to see through them as well as you think.

No. 152405

Nta, this is very condescending and it sounds like you see yourself in the partner and this is your comeback disguised as kind advice. Fuck off.

No. 152412


Thanks guys, that helps. I really struggle with being honest about myself. Its no ones fault but my own, I just get wrapped up in overthinking, especially about my own inexperience… which makes me hesitant to actually experience lol. Its ridic when I type it out. A lot has changed in my life this year and I want to start dating again. Any advice from the late 20s/early 30s perspective?

No. 152433

ive identified as bisexual my entire life. i just recently realized that shit was a joke. i think theres some sort of pressure on lesbians to id as bisexual because so many tras shame lesbians for "not being inclusive."
negativity aside, bisexuality was my cage. i feel so free anons. saged for blogpost

No. 152436

I don't see myself in the partner, I'm soft butch myself.

No. 152487

then you’re a simp. go lick someone else’s boots instead of trying to defend an abuser you don’t even know.

No. 152528

Is English your second language?

No. 152536

I'm not defending anybody you ape. I literally said that the partner was being toxic and that the relationship should end because that's not way to treat your love.

No. 152770

Whatever you say Miss “there’s more to your abuser than just the abuse”. What could possibly justify that.

No. 152911

has anyone tried getting a beard or thought about it? i think finding a gay man who also needs one would be the best way but i don't know how to find one like that. i'm not from usa and gays aren't open here. also i am not a troll

No. 152933

I had a sexless 'romantic relationship' with a man from age 19 til my mid twenties. Lived as if we we're married (we did legally marry too) One day he left the house and just never came back. I don't know if he met a man or why he couldn't tell me. My only real gripe was that we shared rent and he left me to pay the rent alone til our lease ended. I got divorce papers in the mail years later. I had to fake cry to my dad about it to make it seem legit lol

If you feel a need to do that just be careful about actually signing anything legal or financial with him

No. 152945

Anon wtf, that’s insane. Did he leave all his stuff there? Did you talk to any of his friends or confirm he met someone else?

I get that it was just a beard, but that’s so crazy to me that he could just randomly leave after you guys lived together that long. I wouldn’t even do that to a shitty roommate.

No. 152955

Wait so he just left and never talked to you again?

No. 152957

I was more saying
>it doesnt have to be internalized insecurity about being femme, could be a different reason

No. 152984

at least i’m not the tard still trying to defend myself to strangers on the internet

No. 153003

update (that nobody asked for) to this: looks like they broke up. she deleted the original post where she mentioned she had a gf and has gone back to her lesbian hating, “wah no one loves me”, alcoholic self. love that for her. she seriously needs to get help. a relationship will not fix your trauma, sweaty!

No. 153007

I’m sorry if this becomes a blog post, not my attention. Just asking for help I guess

When I was younger, I thought “lesbians were bad”, despite having obvious crushes on my girl friends in grade school - in addition to making out with them etc… in highschool I had intense and obsessive close relationships with my best girl friends. At one point I had feelings for an openly lesbian girl in my grade, and obsessed over her, as well as the other open lesbians. Always felt jealous, and wished they’d “pick me”, but I was always dating guys

Be me now, 25 years old. Have a lot of issues with other women and have no idea how to communicate with them, let alone make friends. Spend most of my time with my bf. Women aren’t very kind to me - I’ve always been attractive and a guy’s girl which might be why. But I’m constantly dying for female interaction, while at the same time too nervous to talk to any.

I often assume my bf is checking out other women, that he insists he hadn’t even noticed. That’s when I realize it was ME checking them out. At the same time I have this consistent fear and jealousy towards other women, almost a saltiness about not being welcomed by other girls since highschool

Am I a seriously depressed lesbian?

No. 153008

Not my intention* Jesus

No. 153009

I hate autocorrect. What I’m trying to ask is, does this sound like I’m gay and I’ve repressed that since childhood? My aunt was gay, but also a heroin addict who caused problems in our family. That’s why as early as 4yo I had it in my head that “being a lesbian means you’re bad”

No. 153025

a question I would ask myself is “why do I want the attention of a women when I’m in a relationship?” what do you think about when you look at other women? and what do you think about when you look at your bf?

No. 153027

Are you having a semi-decent sex life with your bf? You didn't say much about whether you feel attraction towards men too.

No. 153035

Honestly our sex life sucks (for me). He thinks I’m great - I don’t get much pleasure being sexual with him. It’s been that way with every bf. Mostly, I get pleasure from knowing I turn them on or how much I can please them. The best sex I ever had was with one of my exes who was ftm trans, but had spent his life as a lesbian prior to transitioning

No. 153038

Well that's pretty telling. I used to try and make believe that I was straight and I ended up watching alot of ftm porn thinking 'I'm totally still straight' lol

No. 153039

When I look at other women I’m either
- salty/jealous of their good looks/intimidated
- want them to feel beautiful nonetheless
- worried my bf is checking them out when I’m the one checking them out
- wanting their attention, while afraid of them being mean to me
- worried they’re thinking I’m unattractive or creeped out by me looking at them

No. 153041

I look like a typical overly feminine straight girl, heels/dresses/lipstick you name it. I’m mostly attracted to butch type lesbians. I’ve tried to tell my bf I’m veeery bisexual to get him to open up to threesomes, but he gets jealous when he thinks of me with a woman/doesn’t want me to leave him for a girl

No. 153051

If sex with him sucks why put yourself through that?

No. 153053

I love his personality, we live together, he’s kind and supportive, and tbqh I’m afraid of being alone. I haven’t been single since I was 15. I’m not even sure I could support myself solo

No. 153058

Without good sex that's just a friend and roommate. You're only kidding yourself.

Not trying to be mean but I've been there myself and you hit a point where that's just not good enough and the 'relationship' will break down anyway

No. 153065

I know. I’m terrified, honestly.

No. 153319

> speak randomly to girl
> talk abt bunch of shit for abt 15 mins
> cuffed jeans, band shirt, dark hair, tucked shirt, u know
> realizeshesreallyfuckinpretty
> butiveneverdatedagirlbefore
> she was very sweet we spoke about bands, moving, work, etc
> live in liberal town, most women i know of are bi
do i go for it? id be fine with being just friends too. ive become so socially awkward since quarantine, ive forgot how to get close to people kek

No. 153324

do it binch

No. 153329

Why not? Go for it

No. 153440

fuck it i will yolo, i dont even know her name yet but ill see her again next week. thank you

No. 153457

Anyone have any recommendations of lesbian writers/lesbian novels? I recently realized that while I've watched plenty of film/tv with lesbian romance, I haven't read one book. I've read Alison Bechdel's Fun Home and it was nice but it wasn't centered on a romance, which is what I'm looking for currently.

No. 153461

Look here

No. 153725

I was in your situation until recently at 25- had some mediocre sex with a girl I didn't have romantic feelings for, just to get it over with & get some idea of how to actually please another woman. I don't feel like going out and sleeping with strangers after this, but I feel more likely to seize the possibility of romance or an actual relationship in the future now. I didn't tell her I was a virgin, either.

No. 153751

I'm retarded this girl I met at a bar kept sitting on my lap everytime we took group pictures and at that time I thought she was weird as hell and now 5 months later I realized she was flirting with me. I didn't even get her name lol

No. 153752

samefag but I just realized it wasn't actually 5 months ago (even though it feels like it) it was almost a year ago holy shit double retardation

No. 153753

Classic, I had a colleague on my summer job hold my hand when we were chilling after work and share bed with me despite having her own and at the time I was like, she's probably just very friendly… looking back at it, big retardation. So I feel you anon.

No. 154397

God I'm so fixated on my coworker and she's completely ambivalent about me. She was so warm at first. I'm too sarcastic and I tense up when strangers try to touch me so I think I put up a wall when I met her and now it's weird.

No. 154442

The girl in OP's pic reminds me of Ellen Page

No. 155812

so, total sex noob here. what do you do (or want your partners to do) about pubic hair? trim? shave? how much?

No. 155819

I personally don't care if her punani hair gets stuck in my teeth

No. 155845

Just a trim is good for me. The first few women I was with were totally shaved and when I finally met a woman with a more relaxed attitude to hair, I realised that for me it really adds to the experience.

No. 155848

Venus mound can grow wild, but I do prefer trimmed around the vulva.

No. 156070

When it's safer to do so, how do I go about finding and approaching women for one night stands? I've realized I might not want another relationship for a while. How do I do this without being sleazy and making sure the other person is happy? Obviously I want to avoid being pulled into a threesome or something like that.

>>posted this earlier on sex advice thread, probably got ignored bc with how I put it everyone thought I was some straight chick asking "how to fuck girls" rather than the hookup part specifically

No. 156106

I've had all my luck just heading to gay bars and seeing what happens. Hookup apps where I am are useless for gays and you get this shit more than anything
> being pulled into a threesome

No. 156147

I'm gonna do the same, I just feel like doing hookups now (though I won't do it right now, because corona).
I'm just mad scared of STDs. What if she swears to be clean and it comes out she isn't? Anyone can lie.

No. 156151

>tfw lesbian bars are basically extinct even in NYC and now that you're elsewhere you have no idea where the nearest gay bar is
But thanks anon, I've just never been to a "bar scene" in general. I'll see where I can find in like a year's time.

I'm scared of this too. Yeah, anybody can lie, but I've only been in relationships with people who I generally trusted beforehand. How do I use dams without it being awkward? If you're really concerned, are gloves necessary?

No. 156153

>What if she swears to be clean and it comes out she isn't? Anyone can lie.
Can't you ask her to get tested? And look at her results? (so you make sure she's not lying about those too lmao)

No. 156155

Do people get tested before every hookup? like is that a reasonable thing to ask for since we can't really protect ourselves with condoms?

It seems like it can't not be awkward, i want a one night stand too but dams + gloves would make it feel like a dentists office

No. 156157

>Do people get tested before every hookup?
No, but that plus lying/generally not caring is exactly why people end up with STDs.

No. 156159

Nta but I had my hook up phase years ago. Wasn't one for getting tested because you tend to assume that lesbian activities are lower risk (bad thing to just assume obvs)

The only thing I ever caught was hpv, it's very easy to spread and I had one of the cancer causing strains. Spent two years getting retested and having my cervix monitored for changes. So basically like a cancer scare with no cure for the hpv itself. People who were young enough to get the vaccine won't have those issues but just sharing to show we do still need to test ourselves. The lack of pregnancy scares is nice but I had precancer cells from having gay sex and not testing.

No. 163281

I don't know about the rest of your experiences but has anyone ever felt that it was easier to come out to your dad rather then your mom
My dad was a pretty stoic and tough appearing guy, but was actually a lot more accepting than my mom, who always wanted me to be more "feminine", I don't think my mom even still really accepts me to this day,

No. 163293

how many of you are actually out and your social circle knows about your sexuality? thinking about keeping it on low (not completely closeted tho) but every lgbt space talks about how coming out and being public is a necessary part of life. do women actually want to date other women that are not out publicly?

No. 163321

Anyone muslim here? How the hell do you deal with muslim parents when you're gay? They're kind people despite their homophobia so I don't want to cut them off of my life, and coming out is out of the question. Do you think that pretending to be a spinster while hiding my life from them could work long term? (I won't be living in the same country as them for the record)

No. 163322

Oups not muslim lol Anyone with a muslim family**

No. 163377

Best solution would be to hide the fact that you're into women for as long as possible. My mom sometimes spergs about how gays need to be eradicated from earth just because she saw a gay couple holding hands, but aside from that she's a very good person and a moderate muslim. When I tell her I'd never treat my children any different if they're gay after one argument about that she told me I'm a weirdo to begin with. If your parents are like that I don't want you to take unecessary risks even if you live abroad.

No. 163378

anon with muslim parents here
>They're kind people despite their homophobia so I don't want to cut them off of my life, and coming out is out of the question.
mine are like that too, don't ever come out to them you just have to hide it. i told my mom because i'm not scared of being kidnapped/sent to their home country anymore and she freaked the fuck out/is in denial. dont tell them especially if you depend financially on them, i can't emphasize enough how you should wait until you're financially independent to say anything lgbt related to them.
>Do you think that pretending to be a spinster while hiding my life from them could work long term?
i think so. i'm 22 so i haven't been harassed about marriage yet but i have plenty of old relatives who are single and doing fine. i actually met an older pakistani woman (40s) at a lesbian bar once and she said that her parents eventually "accepted" it (don't harras her about not being married, she came out to them in her 30s, they stopped speaking to her but reached out after 5+ years)

No. 163418

I don't really have a choice then. I'm also 22 so marriage hasn't come up yet, but I'm planning on moving out (of the country) soon so I wonder how I'm gonna deal with this. Like are women okay with someone who's permanently closeted to her parents? how to handle family visits when you got a partner? Just seems like a difficult thing to hide for so long. Either way, it seems like I'll have to do that and hope for the best

No. 163421

File: 1608139072357.jpg (35.55 KB, 640x640, 7e23ec0d8fd18dec47da98e554a308…)

Does anyone know How can i meet someone If i grew up with ib culture and came up to become a big sperg, pratically Futaba tier who can't even talk to a girl witouth completely freeze?
It doesn't help the fact that almost all of my tastes are the same as someone who used exclusivy image boards and small groups (made 99,9% by men) for years, so i can't relate at all to people on dating apps or who go out to bars.

No. 163797

File: 1608489795356.jpeg (149.03 KB, 640x633, 1578387884596.jpeg)

I have a terrible crush on my straight and ridiculously hot best friend. It hurts so much because her boyfriend litteraly jocks about how she won't stop taking about me (I feel like a shitty person for being a bit too excited about that). Sometimes she says that she could see herself living with a women and that she wishes that she was mainly attracted to women like I am. She doesn't realise how I want to throw my head in the wall every time she says something like that.
Do you guys ever wish that you were born a man because everything would be so much simpler that way? It's so rare for straight people to have to deal with the fact that someone of same sex attraction is not into them, I'm jealous.

No. 163823

personally i think it’s weird and pathetic to have a crush on someone who you know doesn’t even like you. it sounds like she loves the attention you’re giving her though, so keep it up if you want to be a lonely simp forever.

No. 163824


No. 163846

Found ya bitch

No. 163881

File: 1608517942932.jpg (46.55 KB, 597x591, 1604017651182.jpg)

Vent ahead: Think I may be a butch lesbian which scares me a bit. I'm pretty masc and usually attracted to femmes. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I'm still in the closet too. All the f/f relationships I see have 2 high femmes or MAYBE one slightly andro girl. I don't think I'm good looking enough to have a gf and definitely not fem enough to have a bf (not even sure I want that, men pretty much repulse me). Pretty sure I'm destined to be alone at this point

No. 163885

do lesbians have really high standards lookswise?

No. 163889

aww I wanna hug you anon. I don't get why butches aren't sought after more. I'd date one if there were any where I am. Don't give up too soon, find new places to hang out and you might have more fortunate encounters.

No. 163897

File: 1608530010514.jpeg (76.61 KB, 600x750, e5e37e1f-5c67-4cc7-8165-97706c…)

What kind of style would this woman be considered type-wise for lesbians? I don't know weather I'm more butch or femme leaning but this is my type.

No. 163901

Soft, feminine slight androgyny to me.

No. 163908

I'd say femme, maybe even just a lesbian, not every subset of lesbian style has a name

No. 163921

File: 1608562260769.jpeg (66.35 KB, 680x497, 1587472936732.jpeg)

>Do you guys ever wish that you were born a man because everything would be so much simpler that way?
And give up on this body? No fucking way

No. 163969

>Do you guys ever wish that you were born a man because everything would be so much simpler that way?
The only, sole reason I would rather be a man would be the bigger dating pool. I keep getting crushes on girls and blushing at them even though I know they're straight, meanwhile I have to make excuses to explain why I'm single. I don't come out to people like my coworkers or acquaintances because I'm scared of triggering their homophobia and making things weird when they think I'm out to sexually assault all the women or something. It's rough.

wow anon this post was probably written by me, at least if it makes you feel any better you're not the only one with this exact situation.

No. 164164

butches (even ugly butches) def pull more than any femmes i’ve ever met. i’ve only ever heard of femmes complaining about not being able to find someone but all the butches i’ve met either get mad puss or they’re all in long term relationships/married. you’ll be fine as long as you aren’t a neet weirdo.

and def stay away from calling yourself a butch if you’re attracted to men, that’s the kind of weirdo shit that scares away decent women, not being ugly.

No. 164228

Wondering if anyone has had a similar experience - when I came out to my different circles of friends, a couple of them who had never hinted towards being attracted to women before have started trying to "subtly" come on to me. When we hung out (pre-covid) they would literally say shit like "what if we dated haha we'd make such a power couple" or "what if we kissed right now". We've been friends for years and I've seen them talk multiple times about how much they love certain men so I'm pretty sure it's not them trying to also "come out" (if that were the case, I don't see why they couldn't just outright say it like I did). I mean, this is basically them trying to tick the "lesbian experience" off their bucket list, right? Again, before I came out they never said this kind of stuff toward me.

No. 164263

I'm not a neet, but I have some social anxiety so I might be a weirdo. I'm also pretty shy about flirting with girls since most girls that I've had a crush on are in a straight relationship.

I don't know if butch applies to me. I don't believe I'm attracted to or would date/fuck a man. I guess I'm a "tomboy" who doesn't present feminine, but who likes feminine girls.

No. 164266

anon you're just you. you're a lesbian, why add more labels.

No. 164294

they just want attention. don’t pay them any mind and don’t over think it. they’re not lesbians or even “bi curious”, they just want extra attention.

No. 164499

File: 1608893955179.jpg (57.96 KB, 1269x958, 0d077e0d2e9073398740b314210976…)

I think I will lose my virginity soon to a girl I like. I'm excited but also nervous… We're both in our early 20s but she's had a couple of long term gfs before, whereas I only recently came to terms with my gayness. She was my first serious kiss lol. I told her I didn't really have much experience with relationships but didn't delve deeper into that. Should I tell her? I'm worried I will suck in bed. What if I don't know what to do. Or what if I freeze, get self conscious or something. Ahh. Could you guys give me some words of advice or comfort?

No. 164556

IMO you shouldn't worry as much as it seems you are about it. There is no need to be nervous or self-conscious about it, and worst case if that happens, communicate to her about it. Sex isn't a continuous process that can't have breaks or moments to talk. If there's something you are unsure of or want feedback on, ask, and talk about it! There is no shame in being less experienced. Follow her lead and again, just communicate and ask what she likes and wants.

No. 164603

You sound cute anon, don’t worry so much.

No. 165071

File: 1609356472423.jpg (505.62 KB, 4096x2730, 71swwpfw55051.jpg)

Well ladies, my mother is staying over this week and definitely found a dental dam in my apartment (found it 'set aside' with a few other things)

Heres hoping straight woman obliviousness kicks in and she doesn't put 2 and 2 together.

No. 165789

I am having a hard time dating women. I'm socially inept so just getting the courage to talk to someone I'm attracted to is nerve-racking. The few times I have talked to or tried to flirt with a woman I'm interested in I feel like I end up getting nervous and saying something stupid. I've only dated men before, I generally think their scrote brains make them look past my social ineptitude. Any advice?

No. 165903

Does anyone else get this feeling of looking at an attractive woman and not only finding her hot but also kinda envying her because she's so good looking? I've had so many instances of almost feeling jealous and kinda wanting to "be them" or at least look like them, and it makes me feel sort of creepy. It's not that I think i'm hopelessly ugly or unlovable, it's just they're so effortlessly pretty and I love their fashion style and I wanna know what it feels like to have their beauty in a way. Idk is any of this making sense?

No. 165912

where do i meet gurls when i live in a shit small town?

No. 165976

anon you didn't have to call her ugly twice

No. 166133

Recently out from bi to lesbian because the lesbian master doc ruined my life although fuck their so many genders nonsense.

I never noticed this before when I was only bisexual but a lot of bisexual women literally never make plans for their lives with women and clearly skew their dating pfp to be scrote-centric.

I would still date a bisexual woman but it feels disingenuous to call yourself bisexual on a dating website and not prepare for incoming of women who want to date another woman with zero men involved.

Also what's ya'lls best dating app for lesbos? I'm high femme top looking for femme bottoms…OKC i can only seem to make ~gal pals~.

No. 166150

lesbian master doc is gutter trash but good for you if it was useful (it is too male-centric)

I know this is anecdotal, but anytime I see a bisexual talking about how she wants to have a lesbian 'bestie' or 'gal-pal' on the internet, it is always in a predatory way, e.g. they are married to a man, going through mid-life crisis and want to have a hot lesbian to lead on and have occasional sex with, then throw her to the side when hubbie wants a warm dinner. It is always positioned in a way of how they can get the most out of a woman without putting in any work themselves (we are just friends!!! just hanging out!!).

Dating apps - I don't have experience around them, but from what I've read the best bet is to just use the most popular ones. Also, if you are in a big liberal city, Her can be good. But yeah, if it sucks, then it is pretty normal. Gay dating is nightmare-mode

No. 166304

Hold up.

What's the lesbian master doc?

No. 166315


Lesbian master doc is "you might be a lesbian if" basically. I think it was male centric because its focus was women blinded by heteronormativity which really does skew some lesbians from realizing they dont actually like men. Also if there's a less male centric doc im more than happy to view it and spread it.

It's true from at least the shit ive seen on Tiktok lot of bi girls who want a lesbian and want sapphic and gay tension and claim to ~sadly~ dislike men but then always post with their 2/10 scrote on dating apps claiming they're dating separately but it would be nice if they could ALL be together…

HER became woke and is filled with scrotes now so i generally dont engage

No. 166344

File: 1610270052749.jpg (87.31 KB, 1016x611, The_masc_lesbian_dating_experi…)

Yeah some unironically have obvious moid-centric answers to those standard questions on profiles. Like they literally state that they are looking for a certain kind of man, while allowing themselves to still show up for women (separate option from listing sexuality usually).

And I can second that the pfp's are for the male gaze. While I obviously think women's bodies are attractive, there is just something off-putting about anything portrayed through the male-gaze. It's staged like a porn photoshoot almost.

It might be due to the way I look, but I mainly get older women hitting me up for hook-ups. I have it stated very clearly in my bio that I'm not looking for that, but it's like they use masc lesbians as an "intro" to women. I get enough likes and matches that I could practically sleep with another woman every single day, but just finding someone who wants anything more is incredibly difficult. Also, I'm just not a touch-me-not and most of them are pillow princesses. It would get very old, very soon, if I did take them up on those hook-ups.

Whenever a woman says that she likes all women and 1 man, it means she has only ever dated ugly men who all look alike and she thinks going down on a woman is gross.

No. 166345

File: 1610270259235.jpg (102.39 KB, 1207x442, The_masc_lesbian_dating_experi…)

I'll post the rest of the pics now that I'm at it

No. 166346

File: 1610270383884.jpg (59.55 KB, 1197x582, The_masc_lesbian_dating_experi…)

part 3

No. 166348

File: 1610270541196.jpg (72.5 KB, 1206x587, The_masc_lesbian_dating_experi…)

Part 4, new phenomenon on HER. Men who obviously look like men, not even saying they are trans or whatever. I have no clue why they like my profile.

No. 166350

File: 1610270832515.jpg (102.34 KB, 1197x586, The_masc_lesbian_dating_experi…)

Speak of the devil, it's TIMmy the autogynephile!

No. 166351

File: 1610271005288.jpg (96.04 KB, 1006x600, The_masc_lesbian_dating_experi…)

The religious woman I almost dated also had a lot of red flags for bpd, so that was fun /s

No. 166352

File: 1610271204333.jpg (84.5 KB, 1028x610, The_masc_lesbian_dating_experi…)

We're almost at the end of my vent, don't worry. Some enbies seem to be so close to getting it. They agree that gender is a social construct, yet they still always keep insisting that I can't be a woman while dressing in a masculine manner.

No. 166353

File: 1610271349769.jpg (78.85 KB, 1136x515, The_masc_lesbian_dating_experi…)

I personally don't have a specific "type", like I don't exclusively date femmes. I would have no problem dating another androgynous or masculine woman. Though everyone I seem to have a connection with lives on the other side of the world.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, I hope you have a nice day.

No. 166354

File: 1610271850060.jpg (78.97 KB, 1200x602, dog-puppy-on-garden-royalty-fr…)

Rejected a black guy because i dont want to get robbed and immediately got called a racist. I swear niggers are ruining this country(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 166356

>still unsure about her sexuality, only liked you because you seemed an expert on lesbianism
This is fucking brutal I love it lmao

No. 166358


You're funny and I wish you were my wife

No. 166365

A load of bullshit spread around on reddit, if it's that famous "comphet masterdoc".

No. 166366

Thank you for these anon, gave me a good cackle. Wouldn't mind hearing more Ted Talks about lesbian dating shenanigans from you

No. 166371

Yeah, it is
It is a shitty situation all over, since the masterdoc does actually have legit points but it is also vague enough that every single woman on the earth can call herself a lesbian by those standards. It doesn't help that it has been coopted by 'late bloomer lesbians' that are just married bisexuals not planning to divorce their husbands
The worst part is that there are many lesbians on tumblr talking about how trash the doc is, but no one has the motivation/time to write an alternative
it's unbelievable how a rando girl from twitter wrote bunch of words and everyone now takes it as an expert advice

No. 166397


Expert on lesbians had me DEAD…

Well okay lesbian anons, if we farmers were going to write a lesbian document without pandering bs in it or male centricness what would you put in it? As a late-ish bloomer bi to lesbian my advice is naturally biased towards "no you are gay not bisexual" lesbians.

Firstly, id say that some people are Straight and if you have any sexual or romantic feelings about women you are at the least bisexual. Some girls struggle over this way too hard. One of my friends who is a girl (granted shes fully Japanese and only living in Japan and is super conservative) it took us some time to realize she liked women despite obvious signs like "only getting jealous over female friends because you just really like her" "if you like me and i am a girl you probably like girls". (Pussy pill is hard to swallow )

Also the classic "do i want to fuck her or be her" is a wlw signal but I really hate its modern usage with usually hetero girls doing xD commenting on lesbians things

No. 166400

My personal experience is embarrassing and will likely be unhelpful to LC's majority gender crit userbase, but I figure it's worth sharing for this imaginary documentary. Part of what snapped me out of bisexual fakeboihood and into lesbianism was realising all those ""boys"" I dated were girls. I've never looked romantically at any penis-haver, even when I knew he was exactly the kind of guy I'd be hypothetically into. And as a teenager I was crushing on everybody, so even I was confused as to why I couldn't muster even a sliver of infatuation. There was a distinct pattern in my attraction that I didn't even notice. Transgenderism can make this stuff really difficult when you're young and naiive.

Apart from that, I'd ask things like:
>Do you want to fall in love with and marry a woman and spend your lives together?
>If you had the choice to live freely with the love of your life, no judgement or extraneous hardship, would it be a woman?
>Imagine your life as a romcom, where everything is perfect, your soulmate is everything you want them to be, and you have the happiesr possible ending. Is your love interest a woman?
All along my ideal partner has been another woman and I knew it. For a time I'd convince myself I could be with a man longterm, but only with a thousand caveats and the knowledge that we'd both be miserable. If the idea of spending the rest of your life cherishing a lovely woman makes you giddy, gives you butterflies, and seems like the best possible outcome for you, then you're probably a lesbian.

I suppose some of this ended up being a bit male-centric in the end, but I'm unsure how to rephrase. Apologies.

No. 166403

>"do i want to fuck her or be her"
I would literally masturbate to images of women and watch porn (tumblr) solely focusing on women and try to find stuff that shows woman's body the most and this whole time I would cope with 'this is not gay, I just want to look like them, I'm extremely horny at the thought of being seen as attractive. Straight women are always idolizing beautiful women anyway'. Lmao. I would even self insert myself as the guy ffs and again 'I only do it because I have body dysmorphia' cope.

No. 166420

These are hilarious anon

No. 166428

this…. also I am guilty of watching heterosexual porn but only pretending I could be the guy because I wanted to bang the girls ..but this is because a lot of lesbian porn mainstream felt disingenuous and this was back in the day as well…

Also anon who mentioned fakebois were all girls top kek

What made me FINALLY snap out of "not bisexual" was similar. All the "men" I liked were HIGHLY feminine in behavior and appearance. As soon as I got old enough that most men lost feminine looks or had male pattern hairloss I was like oh… so that's what I liked… because they looked like girls…welp.

Sadly a big part of being a girl or lesbian is male-centric nonsense so realizing you like women often is difficult. Living in a patriarchal world means the default is male and we have to think outside the scrotum.

I would also add (some sadly male-centric) stuff like

> would you rather be single your entire life than be with a man

> do you feel like you do not relate when watching heterosexual love stories
> do you feel like an "overly invested ally" of lesbians
> do you feel a pang of immense guilt attached to an attraction to women or finding a girl attractive (for religious fags).
> do you get butterflies around women (entry level stuff)
> do you generally find women objectively more attractive than moids
> if you're an artist do you have an overly invested image in drawing the female body or female body parts.

No. 166502

This, those comphet and late bloomer lesbian subreddits are like 99% coping bisexuals. I've read stuff that reminded me of when I had legit comphet, but in reverse. Women deluding themselves into thinking they're lesbians for some reason. It's so bizarre.

No. 166507


I think a lot of women just want to be lesbians for various reasons and can't cope with being bisexual. Just be bisexual and only date women! A lot of bisexual women just self-hate really hardcore because scrotes are scrotes.

Also its true bisexuals coping is a trend I've seen rising hardcore that ranges from funny to annoying. Like I'm sorry sexuality is not a choice but it just aint sis.

No. 166509

This is obviously the result of bisexuals not being taken seriously by either side, but especially by lesbians. I've known people like this too, and sure it's annoying that so many women call themselves bi while they really just want to experiment and don't view other women as serious long term relationship material. But I can completely understand how that sentiment, which is especially rampant with lesbians, leads to people not wanting to admit that they're bisexual instead of gay. Quite a few lesbians are apprehensive about dating bisexual girls because they assume they'll be dropped for a dude eventually, and that's offputting if you're bi but serious about women as relationship material.

No. 166546


I think lesbians dropping ALL bi women is unfair and makes bisexual girls more apprehensive. I know nobody can tell you who to date but when you know lesbians who wont even touch GENUINE lesbians because they're not goldstar (even to the dumb extent of had a bf in middle or hs) it's exhausting tbh.

I dont fault genuine bi girls for wanting to be gay because men are just shit.

No. 166556

Of course now it's lesbians' fault… lmao. The worse thing a lesbian can do to you is reject you. Men are arguably worse to bisexual women, I've heard a lot about that.

Eh, at the end of the day, you date whoever you want to date. I don't see many lesbians straight out refusing to date bisexual women (or even fixating on goldstars), it always seemed more of a myth to me. But even if that were the case, there are way more bisexual women than lesbians in the world. Date each other maybe?

No. 166563

Nta but I don't think they were blaming lesbians I think anon was just talking about general apprehension lesbian women have about dating bisexual women.

Also I have indeed heard the "shes gonna leave me for a man" thing a lot which is kind of nonsense to me

No. 166583

>There was a distinct pattern in my attraction that I didn't even notice. Transgenderism can make this stuff really difficult when you're young and naiive.

This tbh. For a long time I was convinced I was bi because I had dated several FTMs. And god-forbid you call yourself a lesbian if your partner "identifies" as a male. I still crush on fakebois tbh…but now with TERF ideology I'm pretty sure I'm still a lesbian. I just find butches incredibly attractive.

No. 166599

Stop telling people who they should date. You sound like an incel.

No. 166617

Nta but they literally said

>I know nobody can tell you who to date


>I think

Do you know how to read, anon? "I think.." is an opinion, not a demand. They also stated that they know that nobody can tell anyone else who to date.

Agreed. It doesn't place the blame on #alllesbians at all. Anon stated that they personally know lesbians who behave a certain way and that's where their perspective is coming from.

Some people itt need to learn how to read before posting.

No. 166644

I was referring to these lines.
>This is obviously the result of bisexuals not being taken seriously by either side, but especially by lesbians
>But I can completely understand how that sentiment, which is especially rampant with lesbians
The apprehension thing was mentioned later.
The women in comphet and latebloomer subs are mostly in a hetero relationship/marriage and seem to be just confused in general. I highly doubt a woman in a hetero marriage is facing any pressure (from lesbians, even) to be gay, unless she spends her days on twitter and tumblr, that is. Sounds more like someone who wants out from a boring/bad relationship, or that might be looking for a new thrill or something.

No. 166663


I'm not talking about #coping married bisexuals who twitter about comphet and feel bad for themselves. I meant single bisexual women who genuinely are interested in dating other women. There is a wall there. I've seen it personally or just reading bisexual womens posts and irl.

I understand the reason for "the wall" because its annoying af sometimes as a lesbian to see scrote loving male fandom, women who are not serious about dating a lesbian or asking for 3 way nonsense. I get it. But it still seems unfair and a lot of bi women feel that way to the extent that its a large talking point in the single bisexual wlw community.

No. 166723

Got a question for you gals. What lesbian stereotypes do you NOT fall into?

No. 166738

And you believe her? Anyone can post something like that as a disclaimer to avoid criticism, the post is pretty much "yeah I'm not telling you who to date but I actually am". Read between the lines anon.

No. 166739

nta but calm tf down you're getting mad dyke sperging about someone having a mild criticism/anecdotal complaint. Learn to take a critique jfc.

No. 166743

Yeah, I do, because this isn't a big deal and you sound overly hostile and paranoid. Its not that deep.

No. 166754

a lot of them. I just have really short hair—that’s it.

No. 166794

Nta, but
>dyke sperging
Nobody is forcing you to stay in the icky dyke thread.

No. 166795

File: 1610541414316.gif (2.82 MB, 500x264, 9f426350-cb2b-4309-b3b0-019856…)

Why is OD such a nightmare? WHAT do you want me to say so that they reply, seriously?

I live in a small ass country with not many wlw, no lbgt bars or anything like that and while I do get matches no one ever replies (nor unmatches, abandoned profiles maybe?) or makes the first move. Like okay, maybe I'm fucking ugly, no big deal but shit this is frustrating, at least tell me to fuck off or something.

Any tips anons? I usually try to comment on something that's in their picture or bio, which sometimes works but even then they can't hold a conversation or just don't seem interested (which is still ok).

No. 166796


We call eachother retards, fags and spergs and other wild descriptors on this site. Dyke thread has dykes. Calm.

No. 166797


I began to take spreadsheet metrics of my success/fail rates with girls I messaged because I didn't take all those stats classes to not use them to get pussy.

Like recording how many got back to me vs how many i messaged as well as age/location/ appearance, bio completion, how far in talking we got etc.

Find what girls respond to you. Is it the type of girl you want? Do they message you first? lmao they wont im just kidding

I always compliment something in their bio and state my name and hoe its nice to meet them. If they have a shit bio ask her to tell you more about herself.

No. 166798

Ooh that's intereating, thanks anon. If things don't get any better I'll start with spreadsheets too lmao

No. 166821

This girl who I'm 85% sure is gay flirted with me and I cannot for the life of me tell if she was serious or not, that is if she wants to follow through with it and come over/invite me over. Kill me, I'm already getting ahead of myself in my head thinking we could hit it off

No. 166867

Honestly with being a lesbo you just have to go in hardcore when it comes to hitting on girls or if they look zoomer/melinial like they have a tiktok ask them if they listen to Girl in Red (its become code for "do you like women")

No. 166878

File: 1610585020426.jpg (47.74 KB, 410x507, 22ac965e1a4ca5e2ea35b60896143b…)

Japanese mixed here to share some info on Japan lesbianism, they call lesbians "bian" for short and I just wanted to share because its super cute. ("Rezu" is kind of a slur there but it depends… )

Top is "tachi" (like the lead role in kabuki) and bottom is "neko" (yes like the cat) (both spelled in katakana not with kanji/hirigana)

Lots of women are in Lavender marraiges (usually with gay men) to the extent that dating sites/forums auto ask if you're married. A lot of jobs in Japan won't promote you if you're unmarried or won't take you as seriously especially if you want to move up in the company. Gay marriage is only legal in one prefecture right now and for the most part if you're gay and keep it on the dl it's fine. For saving face act just be a normie all day and then go to the bian bars at night. Some women are out though (pic related).

Japanese people aren't very touchy publicly and its normalized for girls to hold hands or lock arms (especially young women and teens) so you can kind of stealth in public lol.

Also sadly the lesbian forums there also have to say "no males" because scrotes are the same everywhere…

Theres a lot of lesbian scenes in Japan compared to burgerland tbh. If you're going to Japan and want to be gay there, some bars do have "no foreigners" rules. Many bars also do have "no trans" and obviously "no men" rules as well. Lesbian attractions range in many types theres lesbian bdsm/ fetish bars theres one where a nice dom will demo with you and I keep trying to egg on my closeted friend to go there sans covid, lesbian maid cafes, lesbian host clubs, lesbian only soaplands (essentially a brothel) , and normal girls clubs etc. also literally any event for BL related content like comiket, release events, etc. is packed full of lesbians because lesbians completely rule the fujoshi scene there to the extent being a fujoshi is near synonymous with being rezubian

Femmes are really popular there but androgynous women are as well. (Keep in mind androgyny in Japan is still somewhat feminine in look and often they still wear light makeup). Straight up butch women or stems don't pull girls like they do here. (However there is someone for everyone.) So if you're dressing to go to a bar, keep this in mind so you don't get slept on.

There's also radfems in Japan and they have a decent twitter presence last I saw.

Let me know if you have any questions about lesbianism in Japan /the history of it and I'll let you know!

No. 166882

>Many bars also do have "no trans" and obviously "no men" rules
I so wish this was a thing and not considered evil and overly exclusionary in the U.S.

>theres lesbian bdsm/ fetish bars… lesbian maid cafes, lesbian host clubs, lesbian only soaplands (essentially a brothel), and normal girls clubs

How do you find these places? Can you literally just search for "lesbian club [your location]" and get a list or is it more underground?

>There's also radfems in Japan and they have a decent twitter presence last I saw.

Are there certain tags to find them? Is the term the same as it is in English (I guess ラドフェム) or something else?

Pardon me for all the questions, full disclosure I'm not even lesbian but I'm radfem and planning to move to Japan in the next year or so. I'd really like to be able to find women-dominant spaces where doing your own thing and occasionally shitting on men isn't looked down upon.

No. 166886

>Lavender marriages
How do these work? Gay men with lesbians? A two-flat with two couples, but you pretend the couples are hetero?

No. 166898

>being a fujoshi is near synonymous with being rezubian

It's so weird how yaoi is popular with lesbians when you would think it would be the opposite. I'm not complaining. Based lesbian fujos. tfw no fujo gf

No. 166906

It makes a lot of sense actually. Anime girls are all derivative of the same boring tropes designed to sell body pillows to scrotes. Even those created by female mangaka tend to be vapid and uninteresting, including yuri manga heroines! Plus, people are gonna draw fetishy bimbo hentai of them no matter what. Very unappealing.
Meanwhile male characters are afforded depth and emotional intelligence unseen in real-life XY parasites. They're allowed and expected to bond as people, as equals, without the barriers of womanhood. For example, if male characters are rivals or otherwise on bad terms, it's not a cat fight between jealous bitches. They just don't like each other lol.
From there, I think it's depends on personal interests. Like preferred art styles, literary genres, fandom size, etc. It also helps that straight men seem to abhor the BL scene, so there's less energy expended chasing semen squirters from the community.
In any case, anime boys win against anime girls when it comes to versatility in fiction and humanlike qualities. They have a much higher probability of being compelling enough and relatable enough to either fall in love with or project oneself upon. Just in terms of aesthetics, they're all basically fem, anyway. Bonus: if they're giving each other handjobs, just pretend they're clits instead!

No. 166911

I had a minor weeb phase in middle school. But damn, this makes me want to hang around Japan for a bit and live my best Lez life.

The scene is practically dead where I am rn. Thanks anon, I look forward to more of your info posts.

No. 166913

im gonna use your points as defense when someone tells me im not lesbian enough becuz im into BL. obviously im not into it for the dicks.

No. 166918

Damn I'd like to live closer! This is so interesting, the lesbian scene in Japan sounds wonderful (especially the no males rule). I am a little sad to hear butches are unpopular there when I love them so much but you're right there's someone for everyone. Please post more anon, I'd love to hear more!

No. 166987

Still don't get it tbh. From my recollection of yaoi (had a fujoshi friend) it was samey stories of a macho man (many times with abusive tendencies) and a small twink. Took a look at some, couldn't find any depth. Plus, all the sex was obviously offputting.

No. 166995

File: 1610644655817.png (125 KB, 500x728, i-am-a-fujoshi-腐女子-rotten-girl…)

Japanese lesbian anon here again. Im glad for ya'lls interests ill be samefagging a bit to answer everything


The origins of GL (girls love) can be traced far back into shojou and one particular author ,Nobuko Yoshia, who wrote "hanamonogatari" (lit: flower stories) shes one really influential lesbian author and sold lesbianism to Japanese people as "sisterhood" so she became popular and it was accepted. She started many modern trends and is credited with one of the main influences for shojou manga as well (girls manga) which focuses usually on female friendships. If you look hardcore at magical girl genre it's almost literally all lesbians with unimportant male love interest (cutie honey, utena, madoka, sailor moon) except its not always written from a female gaze. Warning if you wanna read other Nobuko stories they usually all end in lesbian yearning and sadness. (But irl she lived with her female partner until death so good ending irl.)

To an extent, lesbianism in Japan is still seen as acceptable for young girls middle/highschool as its seen as based sisterhood. However you are expected to "grow out of it" so being a lesbian after highschool is a bit taboo. (Watch Yurikuma for a disambiguation of this).

BL: (its not called yaoi in japan)

So "bara" (muscle men) was invented by gay dudes. Based lesbians began to take. If you critically look at fujo shit it's usually bishonen or effeminate men. They always place large interests on hands, feet, tongue, posing, the super highlighted nipples and buttholes and other eroticism that isn't just coomer shit. In some artists you can clearly tell they have never been with a man or that it was written by a woman because it doesn't suck because of sexual positioning, the fucking tongues, i also read one where a guy was looking at his penis in the mirror inspecting with his legs open and my scrote friend lold at me saying "men never do that we can already see everything". If you have ever watched real gay porn its night and day compared from male gaze to female.

Fujoshi also literally means "gross girl" because they were criticized by scrotes for embracing their sexuality. So they took the label and ran with it. You also see fujo pandering in boy groups and in other asian countries (korea does it a lot with Kp*p). This is all intentional to get female fans interested because not feeling sexualized by a scrote= safety. Western women use similar logic when it comes to being friends with gay men.

Tl;dr fujoshis are based and its lesbian culture although there is yuri written by lesbians it's usually moids.


No. 166997

File: 1610645932770.jpg (118.65 KB, 750x501, housewives-saving-money.jpg)

>lavender marraiges

So imagine your friend takeda-san wants to be promoted in his company but they're not really taking him seriously because he's in his late twenties and he's not yet married and doesn't have a girlfriend. Private lives in Japan are generally kept pretty private like confiding secrets in a co-worker is oftentimes some ascended shit. They don't share things publicly the same way westerners do (until after hours business drinking). usually you won't ever know a Japanese person's true opinion of something until you get to be close friends with them or find it anon because speaking out is not really acceptable. So anyways Takeda-san is looking to get promoted and is very serious with this company but his boss thinks he might move on later. They blatantly even say to him "Takeda-san, you're still single and not taking life seriously. You're a good worker but we need an image of family in our higherups."

You, Anonko-san, also work somewhere but are hit with the bamboo ceiling. They legitimately will not promote women Because they're women because they expect you to be a housewife when you get married. (Infact, you are taxed extra money if a couple has a working wife who makes over about 12k usd). They also will tell you to your face "i am not promoting you because you will get married and leave." But you're gay. So scrotes gross you out and you actually have a slammin hot girlfriend.

So, to keep in good with your companies, you and Takeda-san get married on paper and may or may not even live together. Now you get wild tax breaks, Takeda-san and maybe even you get a GIANT fat raise because there are marraige salary bonuses , your companies promote you because they see you as serious, you can get better places to live (married couples get mad benefits). It is not uncommon for even serious couples to live apart if one is closer to x company. Like sometimes people who are heteros will have 2 apartments (one closer to work one closer to their wife, mangaka do this a lot). So you and your friend Takeda-san can live separately and blame work issues while you go fingerbang your gf and he can either be single hetero or gay or whatever.

Japanese couples aren't as "romantic" as westerners (especially not publicly) and not as touchy feely so you can go to Takeda-san's company parties and smile and wave and not feel too hetero.

Also now no scrotes will ever hit on you again when they see the ring.

>Lavender marraige alternative version

Same story but you're a housewife which is completely normal even for childless couples, i know 23 year old housewives in Japan since sexism pushes wives to stay home (hence taxes, bonus work incentives). So you just keep the place nice, cook, reap the money benefits, and your "best friend" or "cousin" just visits a lot… if you want you can work a part time job (under the taxed amount) but its up to you. This is completely a legitimate story. And once again nobody will question you.

No. 166998

In the west I see a lot of backlash towards fujoshis so it's interesting that they're seen as… cool? acceptable? in Japan. What are the lesbian subcultures like in terms of fashion and hobbies? Are there any stereotypes or "tropes" (like how we joke about U-haul lesbians or softball dykes)? What are parental attitudes towards their gay daughters? Super interesting so far :D

No. 166999

File: 1610646550089.jpg (58.52 KB, 640x425, unnamed (1).jpg)


>Gay clubs

They're pretty obvious in how they advertise. Most I know of are in Shinjuku because Tokyo seems to have the biggest collection. Dorobone, Adezakura, Agit, Kamari… the most iconic is Bar Goldfinger or "gf" for short. It has girls only nights in saturdays, mixed bar nights, and ftm only nights bois bar nights so its separated.



No. 167002

File: 1610647276169.jpg (24.01 KB, 640x345, 20180406234029.jpg)

>Other ways to find lesbians


Some forums have lgbt boards and then ones for women. Yahoo Japan has some as well as Mixi (I highly recc Mixi its set up boards and theres gay ones there). Its in Japanese only so basically gitgud. I got lucky and met my lesbian "galpal" on another japanese app unrelated to gay shit.

>Lesbian apps

Lespark, Tinder (yes really)

in b4 you find dakota rose on these sites

Its also not uncommon to see dating profiles with no pics or hyper censored (masked etc.) Because being anon is a big thing there.

No. 167005

>mfw I'm an ex-cosplayer and met Japanese fujo cosplayers before I was out of the closet yet and they were swooning over my bishie cosplay but I thought Japanese fujos were straight back then
Missed opportunity. Still kicking myself, I could have a cute Japanese fujo gf.

This sounds both needlessly complicated and absolutely based at the same time. It's sad that they need to come up with these wild schemes to get by but I'm glad to know that Japan has a thriving gay culture. Thanks for the interesting posts.

No. 167006

Can you explain why lesbians in Japan would rather write/read BL about scrotes instead of lesbian stories, I don't get it at all.
I wish I could read some based lesbian mangas about butch lesbians looking anti-moe and flipping off the patriarchy.

No. 167014

NTA but as a lesbian fujo I do it because I don't want scrotes using something I created to express my sexuality as their cumrag porn. Attractive lesbians are always co-opted by them to satisfy their own sexual needs, just look at AGP troons and their obsession with lesbians. The characters and their aesthetics in BL are pretty feminine anyway, you really can't compare them to IRL men.

No. 167016

Doesn't it bother you to focus on fictional scrotes on order to avoid real scrotes? It bothers me, I want stories about women, fuck what men think.

No. 167018

why is there no lesbian equivalent of bara manga? The closest that I am aware of are Ebine Yamaji's comics

No. 167019

No? If it bothers you then don't read it. For me the appeal is 100% in the fact that the fanbase is filled with lesbian women. I can watch heterosexual romances just as well too, the gender doesn't matter because I don't self insert anyway. I just like a well written couple and all of BL is written by women.

No. 167020

File: 1610650913011.jpg (126.77 KB, 870x636, n-lgbt-a-20170509-870x636.jpg)

Sage for gender being half ot

Lesbian/ general gay Twitter stuff:

@lesinfoapp (posts about free apps, boards,les coomer encounter meetups)

フェムにスト also フェミニズム will get you feminist things. Yes also just Radfem in english will get you some… Theres also a korean radfem community. Note: if you just search フェミ that can mean "femme" so you might get confused…
ジェンダークリティカル <- gender critical

Im tentative to drop links to profiles here. But usually one leads to a seed of others… These are some with a following

@_ mizrajim (not posted in a while)

hashtag for gender wars JP edition that naturally spill over into leabianism

#IStandWith笙野頼子 <- yoriko shono is feminist writer/political figure (id bet irl money she's a lesbian) cut off from the communist party of Japan for recently calling out trans as invaders
#女性議員を本気で増やしてください (without women there is no democracy, for womens equality in japanese diet also sometimes tagged under lesbian posts for equality )
@femalelibjp (female liberation, radfem, also crossposts lesbian shit)

No. 167022

File: 1610651781326.jpg (335.75 KB, 1280x1017, aed7b4ab398d6a64f3b19696dac68f…)


There are lesbian GL writers (see: dynasty scans for finding scans written by female authors). A lot of Yuri, just like a lot of Lesbian Porn, is made through the male gaze. Thus feeling sexualized at the same time can be uncomfortable. This is not to say there is not REALLY good lesbian/wlw representation in manga written by men (Claymore being my favorite pic related) but we all know there's a difference. Stereotypes for yuri are uwu softgirl. If you look at yuri/gl animes most target male userbases and have NO scrotes in the story (Love Live for example). So the innocent girl uwu "deep feelings lets hold hands" stereotypes in scrote manga doesn't always appeal to women.

BL is a female concept of men. It is not "men" themselves. which is why fujoshis are based as fuck

No. 167023

Do you mean muscular women? The only artists I know who draws a muscle lesbian is moid

No. 167024

Ntayrt but I agree. I've never understood the appeal of fujoshi or what they read. I don't see myself as a dude, so I can't read that stuff and self-insert as.. well, what often looks like a whiny bitch of a person. Maybe I'm screwed because Gravitation and Loveless was my first exposure to that sort of thing back in the early aughts? I like women and I would rather read stories about women, not stealth around like a tr00n about my feelings.

No. 167025

Doublepost but also in the case of fujoshi I used to know, none of them lusted for women and were either indifferent or repulsed by the idea of being with a girl and treated other women like competition for male attention. Sure, they'd cosplay or make Gaia avatars as bishies and use their female friends as bishie props, but it was for clout not sexual attraction. They always chased and exclusively dated dudes.

No. 167026

File: 1610652459475.jpg (250.15 KB, 2048x1320, EkjphRFVkAA1ZHD-orig.jpg)


RIP anon who missed fujo gf. (If you want a lesbian cosplay gf go find the girls crossplaying moids from series like bungo stray dogs, toukenranbu, levi or eren from Attack on Titan ( basically anything thats has fujo bait…) That is the surefire way to get hot cosplay gf.

I can see your sentiments and once again, there are female written GL/yuri. If you want to know if OP is a girl "ko" is a common ending on japanese female names (ex: yoshiko, himeko) or just google to see if its a common female name (careful because sometimes the surname comes first).

Dynasty scans has the largest yuri database i know of

No. 167028

I was a bit unclear. I meant manga with lesbians that are appealing to actual lesbians, not moids in the same way that most fujoshi probably do not enjoy gross hairy bear sex. More realistic and gender nonconforming.

No. 167030

File: 1610653032330.png (1.1 MB, 800x1300, Kanbaru_anime.png)


Jap-anon here. It's not supposed to be a self insert . Its a viewing thing I suppose although I do know women who have done cosplay sex of BL…

I realize in America str8s like it too or its a mixed bag, hence why I gave the history of it in Japan. I still know many lesbians who enjoy it for reasons stated above.

You end up pulling all types but the stereotype in Japan stands that if you love BL, you're a lesbian…. (pic related canon lesbian from Monogatari series and her BL )

No. 167033

No worries, anon! I appreciate your posts as someone who is also japanese mixed yet never had the chance to know much about mainland because divorced parents.

Its just so difficult for me to look at that genre and not feel physically sick, no hyperbole.

No. 167034

how can we tell she is reading BL?
I'm surprised there is an actual lesbian in Monogatari that doesn't secretly want protag's smelly dick!

No. 167035

OH yes. There are ones that are written about tomboys or androgynous lesbians as well. The most lesbian looking girls you will likely get in manga are not going to be anywhere near what GNC is in the west (Japan actually has one of the highest rates of FTM….)

A girl recently told me to try "school zone" (dynasty scans has it) which has gnc lesbian protagonist.

No. 167036

File: 1610653450768.png (799.22 KB, 1280x800, tumblr_nywkdnmFIx1qlx6ybo1_128…)

In the anime it goes over it blatantly that its all BL and has two male symbols together. (She also blatantly states im a lesbo and that shes reading boy x boy stuff) Also you see some of her books pic related.

No. 167037

may I ask, are most Japanese FTMs into women or are there "gay trans guys" too? also is there a significant Japanese transbian population, or are nearly all "gay trans" people foreigners in Japan?

No. 167038

From what ive observed they're not "gay males" they often end up dating eachother or girls.

No. 167039


Samefag but comphet/ gender roles for women hits Japanese women like a bucket of rocks. (My people are still fighting banning mandatory wearing of high heels in the work place….)

No. 167064

thanks anon(s). i've always wanted to tell people this when people say negative things about fujos and BL but i didn't know how to convey it. fujos have a really have a bad rep here in the west as straight women who fetishize gay men despite that being far from it. i really can't read yuri despite being a lesbian myself because it's usually written from a moid point of view

No. 167071

Sorry, i'm not a lesbian, but a fujo and i still don't get why japanese lesbians are into BL. I mean, i read it because i get off to it. Why would lesbians want to get off to pictures of two (or more) men fucking? Even if they look feminine, they're still men, right? Penis. Balls. Flat chests. Who cares if it was written by women? I mean, come on. What would you say to a gay guy who gets off to lesbian porn? That's weird af, man. I don't think they're truly les, i just think they're radfem and bi. Not wanting or choosing to date men doesn't mean you're a les.

No. 167074

gay men have their own porn in japan. a whole genre. most lesbian porn i've seen, you could tell it was directed by men. i think men watching fetishized lesbian porn is different from looking at fictional drawings

No. 167085

Read above for my meta analyses of why its lesbian culture in Japan. Its deeper than "written by a woman"

(Also there's a difference in vouyeristic fantasy vs irl when you're getting off, picturing two 2D charachters banging is not the same as a scrote scroting you)

Also Japanese censorship for pr0n is pretty heavy so true Japanese works the dick is likely a glowing light or bar or blurred out. Make of that what you will. Its also why so much erotic emphasis is put on other parts of the body (nipples, buttholes, fingers/hands, mouth) things that are more erotic to women than men.

No. 167091

I’m interested to know about the L subcultures as well.

No. 167103


This. I'm into women and want to see women not pseudo women. Wtf is wrong with fujos that are 100% lesbian? Must be some massive internalised lesbophobia. They aren't based, South Korean lesbian feminists now those are truly based. No bl shit.

No. 167105

How did you manage to read all this explanation about the culture around BL and come away with "internalised lesbophobia?" As a ""100% lesbian fujo"" I'd also prefer to read manga and erotica with only women but the content available tends to be lackluster, unfulfilling, and tainted by the male gaze. Even those by lesbian authors end up ruined by the scrote fanbase. All of this has already been enumerated above. How many times do anons have to say it?

No. 167110

No I still dont get lesbian fujo manga, fiction, and art creators who only make bl. They have the power to create what they want to see but somehow don't.

No. 167113

Does anyone else like manga/anime but doesn't care about bl? I like normal weebshit but it's annoying that all women are assumed to be fujos since they are the majority. No hate, just a random thought.

No. 167117

Ntayrt but I've been reading here and I can't wrap my head around it either, much like the anon you've replied to. Really, bl/yaoi/what the fuck ever has grossed me out so much since I first saw it in junior high and I have never gone back. If something has a scrote fanbase.. oh, well? That's life? I get that people here don't want to hear that, but it's just life. I like a lot of things that have shitty communities, but I choose not to interact with them because I don't need a community in order to enjoy a show/comic/game/etc. I mean, it's for myself.

No. 167120

Honestly it's not worth it to explain any further. The anons remind me of those who constantly raid the fujo thread or vent threads to screech about BL being all rape and moid bootlicking and how you can't be a fujo and a lesbian. Bottom line, the fanbase is almost exclusively female, the stories are written by gay women, the character dynamics are notably female and the "b-but they have dick and balls!" argument is grossly oversimplifying the issue. If they don't get it then they don't. It's just stupid that gay men can simp for female idols and never have their sexuality questioned but the moment a lesbian finds something like this attractive she's actually a walking paradox or a lying bihet.

No. 167122

Well, it's porn.

No. 167123

>It's just stupid that gay men can simp for female idols and never have their sexuality questioned
they are not interested in fucking those women or getting off to them, they are projecting their gay feelings and experiences on them….
BL is about getting off, so I don't think the comparison works.

No. 167124

What is weird is that you don't understand why anons in a lesbian thread prefer female x female over male x male.

No. 167127

nta, but it's not even real. i've read bl for years and never once has that caused me to think i am attracted to men. when i read or watch BL i'm just gushing over it and squealing stupidly. it's not like we are attracted to the characters. i personally just like to read it. damn all this reminded of how much i want a fujo gf so badly

No. 167130

>BL is about getting off
It's not. Do people really have to spell it out for you for the millionth time? It's about finding a female-written relationship and its elements (sexual or romantic) engaging and interesting without the burden of having to self insert into it. You're confusing the Japanese-style lesbian fujos original Japan anon was talking about with the otome fangirls who are only there to drool over the beautiful anime guy aesthetics instead of being invested in the character dynamics and story.

…Nobody has said that? Of course everyone understands that lesbians like female x female material but like mentioned before it's too often made for scrote coomers and simply not appealing to real lesbians. It's an actual widespread problem in all of media, there are multiple articles about how the majority of lesbian couples portrayed are male-pleasing femme couples obviously picked for wider crowd appeal instead of trying to represent realistic lesbian women. I don't understand why people seem to ignore this fact, I literally want to throw up whenever I see GL that's about cute schoolgirls groping each other, i.e. most of them, because it makes me feel objectified and uncomfortable as a woman.

No. 167131

It's pretty misleading to label all BL as porn. You can find plenty with no sex scenes, and some with sex scenes that wouldn't count as porn, and lots with sex scenes that are so censored there is not a single dick in sight. Then there is porn, but it feels weird to me to not distinguish between sex scenes in a romance story and porn?

I agree with both sides of the "argument" in this thread, I've always been confused about my sexuality because of BL but all I know is that I don't really give a fuck as long as I get to live my life with the love of my life, and it would be impossible for that to be a man because I am not attracted to men. The 2D men I think of don't even look like humans. I get why anyone would accuse fujos of being confused bis if they think it's all about dick and balls. BL is not perfect but I find it fun. I always struggled to relate to other people and BL is one of the things that doesn't make me feel ostracized just by reading. That's just a personal thing. Hope that gives some more insight, but I feel like we should make a new thread for fujo lesbian discussion, lol.

No. 167132

also, this cosplay thing is so true. i found out about danso idols (women who crossdress as men) a few years ago and literally 90% of their audience is female. i remember this girl from the states i followed in past literally met her gf in takarazuka (a city infamous for their all-female acting troupe and known to have a high percentage of lesbians that hang out around there) at one of those events. they're married under the japanese partnership thing now.

No. 167134

File: 1610720762466.jpg (Spoiler Image,760.24 KB, 900x1271, 71708790_p0.jpg)

All fujoshi know is to cope and make excuses

No. 167135

Telling you to dilate is worth the ban.

No. 167136

>but I feel like we should make a new thread for fujo lesbian discussion, lol.

i second this, i feel like we could have a good discussion

No. 167137

There's already a fujo thread in /m/ that has discussed this issue before, it could use more posters. >>>/m/105134

No. 167138

Okay queen, I take my words back. Let’s discuss our yaoi husbandos. Mine is Deku, he is so cute I wonder when he and Todoroki will become canon uwu Truly a lesbian experience

I think all of us would be better off with fujo lesbian containment thread

No. 167140

File: 1610721956546.jpg (146.36 KB, 1710x900, anyway.jpg)

For example, even in that picture the two characters look traditionally feminine. Which is fine. But a lot of women prefer androgyny/butch women that don't exist in media. On top of that…most yuri stories are so fluffy and lacking in conflict they are completely unrelatable. Not to mention the school-girl, scrote gaze shit which is offensive in it's own way.

Anyway, the women in FMA are hot af. And surprise, surprise…they're written by a woman.

No. 167141

thanks, i'll check it out.

No. 167142

Nta but I think it's perfectly legit to have doubts about it, it is a confusing concept. Used to read yaoi when I was deep into comphet and a teenager, looking back I can't really say they were "remarkably well written stories", it was just… porn. Even the not-porny mangas I read were pretty trivial. So here's that.
Of course if you wanna read that, read it, but many lesbians will find it weird and that's also fair.

No. 167143

>Women prefer androgyny/butch women

yuri can be male gazey in the same way be yaoi is female gazey. But Yuri mangas and webtoons have plenty of conflict.

No. 167144

Funny you should say that since irl I prefer butches, but simply can’t relate to BL at all. Even if people don’t self-insert or anything, I still find it weirder than liking gl but maybe that’s because I’m not the kind of person to interact with fandom or communities

No. 167145

>Women prefer androgyny/butch women
As they should. Femininity is not only disgusting male invention, but also a waste of time and money. Leave make up and drag to gay males.

No. 167146

Absolutely based post anon

No. 167147

You know women can be feminine without makeup, right?

No. 167149

right? anon sounds misogynistic af.

No. 167153


i think anon meant the traditional and stereotypical femininity of makeup, dresses, long hair, heels etc. i personally adhere to that type of femininity but don't wear makeup.

No. 167158

>You're confusing the Japanese-style lesbian fujos original Japan anon was talking about with the otome fangirls who are only there to drool over the beautiful anime guy aesthetics instead of being invested in the character dynamics and story.
Pretty rude of you to assume that male-attracted women reading BL (or otomes) only care about sparkly kawaii bishies. As far as I know, all female fans are obsessed with ship dynamics, personalities and stories of the characters involved etc. You (or the japanese fujos) are not special in that regard just cause you read romance about sex you are not attracted to. Most female readers can do both! I think you've confused women with scrotes that are only into yuri because double titty action.

No. 167166

I understand the criticisms, although if some people are aware of the bad writing (especially if they're mangakas), what exactly is preventing them from creating decent yuri or yuri with their own tastes? Like why doesn't anyone take the good things about BL and apply them to female characters?

No. 167174

No feminity is the best thing ever. Quiet and resilient strenght, empathy, sensibility, able to dialogue, introspection ability, care… and so many other qualities.

I hate how some lesbians put masculinity on a pedestal.

No. 167176

you know butch women can be all of those things, right? i think you and >>167145 define femininity in quite a different way

No. 167177

Yeah, I define femininity/masculinity as a way of being.

No. 167178

nta but the anons above mentioned that there are lesbians out there doing that.

No. 167181

I meant femininity as a performance, not character traits, JFC

No. 167182

Once I learn to anatomy, lineart, coloring, perspective, storyboarding, writing, and marketing, it's over for you bitches.

No. 167184

Anon… They literally are creating what they want… They want BL because GL is often scrotemade and not as good

No. 167185

File: 1610739324903.jpg (53.02 KB, 600x878, bc959ec3c78c288ef818ebb2c03589…)


Japanon back again and i did not expect this many wars.

Basically my point was to explain how it worked in Japan and origins and why lesbos flock to BL as a lesbian subculture. (Literally no moids in it where moids are in yuri ). There is yuri thats female written. There is platonic GL thats female written and designed (kobayashi's dragon maid is lesbians but in a wholesome happy way and one protag is GNC lesbian

It doesn't really matter if you "get it" what matters is lesbians are out there in other countries thriving (and pissing off scrotes.)

Honestly im down for a containment thread for gay fujos but itd probably have to be in /m…. i havent checked for BL or GL threads

No. 167186


Unpopular opinion esp for a radfem but I like women performing some feminimity because I find it hot or cute….

No. 167190

A lot of scrotes like this show so I was hesitant to watch it. Is this actually about lesbians?

No. 167191

File: 1610740404365.jpg (47.35 KB, 720x405, korra-premiere-kuvira-720x405.…)

You aren't making any sense. If they draw yuri themselves it won't be scrote-made!
This reminds me of my cartoon crush Kuvira…such a sexy voice. Too bad she was straight (?)

No. 167196

File: 1610741349372.jpg (45.51 KB, 450x600, Ana.(Overwatch).600.2043461.jp…)

I think OPs point is that the actual community surrounding lesbian fandoms, yuri etc is often filled with scrotes but BL is a natural scrote deterrent so it's allowed a community of lesbians and women in general to grow without harassment from men.

And yeah women in any kind of military-esque uniform can get it

No. 167204

>There is yuri thats female written. There is platonic GL thats female written and designed (kobayashi's dragon maid is lesbians but in a wholesome happy way and one protag is GNC lesbian
Maybe kinda off topic, but does anyone have any recommendations for series like this? Female written and/or non male gazey yuri. It feels like most yuri series are fetishized or have a bad end for the main characters. Would like to enjoy some cute non-porny stories without male characters ruining it.

No. 167207


Yes. There's literally zero scrotes fapping to their material, yearning over the stories, creating in circles etc. Its scroteless by default to the extent the word Fujoshi was made as an insult because tfw scrotes not center of attention.

You can tell yuri drawn by men a lot of it is clearly male gaze and if you don't want scrotes fetishizing your relationships, drawing the porn, writing stuff that you don't relate to, yuri isn't the place for you.

Also most book stores in Japan have segregated areas like one section is BL one is GL (the other is NL for normal love top kek) and you see moids in NL and GL. So even going to buy a yuri manga or doujin you have to fight scrotes for it vs BL which is literally all fellow fujos.

You know how some things are just natural moid repellents? Its like that. Like if you compare libfem to radfem. General feminism some scrotes will get in even though its allegedly for women, yes it deters SOME scrotes but you still have creeping scrotes rewriting something for women for moids. Radfem is 100% scrote-b-gone. There is no alternate way to view it in which a scrote would be attracted to the ideology. Its literally only women. (I get it the 2d charas arent the same as feminism so just bare with me on the shit analogy).

No. 167208

Yes it is (also theres a bl couple…). Scrotes like wholesome lesbian uwu shit is why. It's really cute and Kyoani (the studio that produces it but also got set on fire by a moid) is a majority women company which is super rare in Japan also all of their animators are salaried which is even rarer (most animators live in poverty off of handouts). Basically every animation by Kyoani even the hetero stuff I stamp my gay approval on (they also did Free! Which is Bl).

No. 167209

>they also did Free! Which is Bl
Kek ok whatever you say

No. 167256

File: 1610772357814.jpg (25.71 KB, 400x400, hubbahubba.jpg)

>takarazuka (a city infamous for their all-female acting troupe.)
omg anon.. thank you so much, i had no idea.

No. 167257

File: 1610773086698.jpg (91.17 KB, 1027x1022, siggggghhhh.jpg)

i rly want a princely gf now, what have u done anon.
samefag, ok ill go now srry

No. 167258

Ugh, I love Yoka Wao, but she's married to some fat white dude. Being an actress in one of these productions doesn't necessarily mean they're lesbian. Such a disappointment.

No. 167261

no problem! i'm going to slide you all a performance of elizabeth (2014). i love takarazuka. i have the 2018 version of elizabeth on bluray but the dvds usually average around 80-100 USD and even more with shipping so i can't get them all the time. it's amazing. i want to visit there in person.
ugh, this. a lot of actresses leave takarazuka to get married
i did read how a lot of students at the music school had crushes on each other. a lesbian activist koyuki higashi actually attended takarazuka and was an actress but decided to leave because of the severe bullying she faced

No. 167262

File: 1610774848403.png (801.21 KB, 750x1334, asamijun.png)

also, this is my favorite otokoyaku, asami jun. she's so handsome

No. 167271

ugh a total cutie.

No. 167274

There is a lesbian media thread in /m/, check the catalog.

No. 167277

File: 1610789044617.jpg (134.76 KB, 960x640, The festival freak.jpg)

Hi I'm this anon >>166344
I have a great succes rate with getting responses and my secret is my profile is a TED talk too, but then showcasing me I guess. But I usually get a first message which is a response to my presentation.
I still have trouble getting into a relationship though, because getting responses is easy, still doesn't mean you click with everyone. I'll elaborate.

I'm not straight edge, but so many on dating apps make alcohol and partying their entire personality and have had a meltdown since the lockdowns.

No. 167278

File: 1610789119455.jpg (183.3 KB, 1402x825, BPD red flag factory.jpg)

I also dodged a couple bullets, I have a weak spot for alternative women so it's kinda my own fault, I know lmfao

No. 167280

File: 1610789681863.jpg (77.88 KB, 710x599, It's not worth it trust me.jpg)

Nowadays I swipe automatically left/reject any offers, but I was young(er) and stupid(er) and did hook-up with a couple of these types.
I know stupider isn't a word, it's for effect

No. 167282

File: 1610789888782.jpg (58.71 KB, 710x361, Korean radfem.jpg)

Tinder has still been cruel, matching me with cool women from the other side of the planet who I actually have chemistry with, but will probably never meet irl

No. 167283

god the amount of money i spent on buying takarazuka dvds… all the western fans on social media i used to be in with were super hardcore about it

No. 167296

anon, consider making a lesbian memes page on instagram, your graphics are funny and witty

No. 167366

I'm so nervous when it comes to talking to women that my straight female friends are telling me to practice roleplay with them, it's so embarrassing.

No. 167533


my dream! no offence but i can't stand butch girls and that's what i'm surrounded by and attract lol.

if they're femme they tend to be the 'bisexual but hetero romatic' which i can't stand omg leave me alone

No. 167537


ok this! the girl went into the 'i really like talking to you/i want to meet you soon' and talking about marriage and kids real quick and i found it overwhelming and tried to get her to chill out a bit.

we eventually met up and got along real well but i felt awkward because of all the things she had said so i held back a lot and i think she still expected a LOT more to happen.

we're still casual friends to this day and we meet up. she's really lovely but desperate (sorry idk how else to put it) and has gone on loads of dates even with guys even though she said she's never been attracted to them just because she wants to be with someone. she gets a new girlfriend and constantly talks about how she's the one and then she'll have a family gathering, come to a realization that she doesn't see the girl meshing in with her fam and then breaks up.

it's like a constant cycle. in a way i wish i was as active about dating as her cause i'm real lazy but i can't be bothered to just spend time in whoever's company at this point in my life.

No. 167539

>i can't stand butch girls
Do you mean you're just not attracted to them or?

No. 167565

Damn anon I would love to be you, I would love to have androgynous and hard butch women chasing after me

No. 167567

OT, but I would really love to be with a clingy and possessive gf, unfortunately those types are like this and it is never clingy in a cute 'we belong to each other' way
tfw no cute clingy gf that is also well adjusted

No. 167570


Nta but samefag on not liking butches. I respect any girl who goes gnc in any way. But I'm not attracted to butch girls in general just aesthetic wise (masculine personality is another thing).

As far as meeting them goes…In my experience they're either super chill or scrote level toxic. I find a lot of them to have shit attitudes, are overly mean to bi girls, have a weird front/act like scrotes. Use scrote mannerisms and scrote speak. Maybe its internalized misogyny/homophobia. Idk sis.

Ive seen a trend in Studs having stupid ass misogyny habits of calling women "females" when complaining… like bitch tf is you then?!?!?

(Also im not for stone butches either or ones who wear fake dick packers)

No. 167571

File: 1610911748140.jpg (18.76 KB, 1200x600, lesbian-memes-1558539977.jpg)

I want more of these lesbian memes

No. 167576


just like anon >>167570 said i don't tend to like them aesthetically and a lot of the ones i meet tend to be scrote like.

they're weirdly self hating and think that wearing baggy clothing and having a fade has to come with misogyny and sexism lol.

it's really off putting and i find it very performative. i've reached a point where every butch girl i meet i unfortunately always prepare myself for them to act like that and 9/10 instances, they really stick to the script!

No. 167578

File: 1610913172704.jpg (52.85 KB, 1000x1000, 83007636_01.jpg)


So glad I'm not alone in this feeling because I get a lot of e-haterade for thinking this.

No. 167586

I've always been attracted to butches but given I can't be openly gay where I currently live I haven't interacted with many irl. Interesting to hear some of the scrote-ish traits that some take on. Like damn

No. 167602


Sorry about your country anon. That must be hard.

But yeah I think its a problem that needs to be addressed but every Butch/Stud I've ever called out for scroting absolutely lost her shit.

There's also like a weird culture I saw where Butch lesbians were trying to heteroify femme/butch relationships like saying bs like "the butch is the protector the femme is the caregiver". Basically benevolent heteroing when the whole point of a lesbian relationship is to not have gender roles or labia scrotes. I've also seen retard shit like "female husband", "only straight and gay exist", "he/him lesbians", "only femmes xyz and only butches xyz".

I think also I've just seen the highest number of absolute shit takes (on wlw/women etc.) from Butch women as well.

No. 167603


If you dont mind me asking, what country do you live in?

No. 167653


based anons. women being gnc and masculine-of-centre is not inherently a problem by any means and I've met some lovely ladies who present more masc but I will NEVER understand butches who decide to emulate only the most toxic elements of masculinity… including treating femmes like children. ugh

the one butch i've ever hooked up with was more concerned about making sure I didn't touch her teased out fuckboi fade (which was too full of hairgel to even put fingers through) while she was eating me out rather than whether or not I was actually enjoying myself. it was exhausting. fucked like a scrote, too – five minutes of head followed by 45 minutes of being pounded with a strap. never again.

honestly maybe too spicy of a take (and maybe influenced by aforementioned experience lmfao) but I don't think butches would be as popular as they are if it weren't for the fact that it's more "socially acceptable" for a woman to be in a butch/femme relationship – where there's at least the appearance of a "man"/"woman" in the relationship – than for two feminine women to be together.

not to mention the fact that at least half of the butches in my city's scene either already have or are in the process of aiden-ing out. butch stocks are plummeting rapidly ladies, get on the winning team.

No. 167738

i kind of agree with this. i haven't been able to meet many lesbians or butches in general but studs in my culture are kind of known for trying a bit too much to emulate the toxic behaviors of men.
though a stud i met at school, including the two teachers i had that were butch were all really down to earth and great people so i hope if i meet more they will continue to be opposite from the stereotype and i won't encounter unpleasant ones like my family members have

No. 167741

I (TedTalk anon) have the opposite problem. I don't even own a strap and I'm not a "top" (nor a "bottom"). And not once has anyone reciprocated during hook ups. Because here comes my second point: gnc women are used af by questioning women. We're visible, we seem like experts and like "entry" women or "male adjacent". That might explain why many gnc lesbians are suspicious of women who claim to be bi. Those hook ups were borderline traumatizing, that bad. Nevermind all the added scrote drama many questioning women bring. The scrote like behaviour is almost an expectation those women have.
I personally feel like I'm generally "less popular" because I don't fit the stereotype. I honestly wonder how many more gnc lesbians feel limited by it.

There seems to also be this taboo against two masc women dating. Which might be because it's the least acceptable form of wlw. Not appealing to the male gaze and I've been called a "faggot" before by another masc lesbian for hitting on her, but maybe it was a TiF. Meanwhile femmes mainly only date each other around here. So the rest of my datingpool is [see previous memes].

And just never say to a gnc lesbian that she is acting like a dude. We hear it from conservatives, TRA's, even other lesbians regarding everything and everyone then wonders why so many transition. Just call them an asshole and just call shit out as sexist if you do ever encounter it again. Of course you're going to get pushback if you say the exact same shit as bigots have been saying or phrase it too similarly. Sorry if you did phrase it different from how you wrote it down and I'm not excusing their behaviour btw.

I'd rather be forever alone than force myself to become femme though. So I'm volcel, not an incel, before anyone accuses me of that. I'd look like a TiM if I wear a dress or anything remotely feminine (Rain Dove vibe). I just want to be comfortable and not have to think too much about my looks. I like it on others, but being feminine makes me personally miserable. So I'll accept the consequences of not being feminine.

Eh we all have our problems in the end, I'm not saying I have it worse than anyone else, I just hope I can provide some insight from the gnc perspective.

No. 167742

samefag but I was high while writing this so soz of it makes no sense

No. 167746

If I never wear any make up, my style of clothing is tomboy-ish and I have long hair (but I never stylize it), am I still a femme? I would like to call myself a futch but I'm not sure if that term is well known enough. I grew up in a very homophobic environment and even though I didn't consider myself to look masculine, my mother still claimed that I want to "look like a man" and I was often bashed for not putting enough effort into femininity, so I always felt like I don't look very femininine either, rather something in between

No. 167747

>Because here comes my second point: gnc women are used af by questioning women.
My god, this. Got tired of all the bicurious women who were just looking for a replacement for a man. And then these same women turn around to talk shit about GNC lesbians, how ~predatory~ they are because they dared to find them attractive and how they should just grow up, stop "acting like men" and convert to attractive 50's housewife femmes. Thankfully I rarely see actual femme lesbians spewing this shit, it's always obvious bihets, AGP troons and political lesbians who find masculine typed women disgusting and unnatural.

GNC lesbians always get the short end of the stick. Always. I'm not even a straight out bulldyke but a soft tomboy and even I get to experience all of these examples you described. Reminds me of that anon upthread >>151939 who described what happens to a ton of butches even outside of prison.

No. 167749

nta, but it makes perfect sense anon. i'm sorry for that horrifying experience you went though, these type of experiences i've heard is why i almost want to avoid dating bi-curious and bi women at all costs
>There seems to also be this taboo against two masc women dating. Which might be because it's the least acceptable form of wlw. Not appealing to the male gaze and I've been called a "faggot" before by another masc lesbian for hitting on her, but maybe it was a TiF. Meanwhile femmes mainly only date each other around here. So the rest of my datingpool is [see previous memes].

this. i was watching a video by a butch and she said how she'd get so much flak for being a butch/gnc woman that only dates other butches. she'd get femmes who seem bothered by the fact that she didn't want date them and get discriminated against whenever she went to public places with her gf compared to her femme/butch friends. gnc women are widely treated like shit it makes me upset

>And just never say to a gnc lesbian that she is acting like a dude. We hear it from conservatives, TRA's, even other lesbians regarding everything and everyone then wonders why so many transition. Just call them an asshole and just call shit out as sexist if you do ever encounter it again. Of course you're going to get pushback if you say the exact same shit as bigots have been saying or phrase it too similarly. Sorry if you did phrase it different from how you wrote it down and I'm not excusing their behaviour btw.


and anon, you shouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. it's insane how when women choose not to put makeup, have long hair or exist while not confining to how society expects women to be, you and other gnc women are made to feel like shit and get harassed because of it

i grew up in the same situation anon
we aren't born wearing makeup, i think being femme is more than just outward appearance but behavior plays a part too. also the futch scale thing was made as a joke and not meant to be taken seriously. but i personally fall on the almost futch/gnc scale

No. 167753

aw, anon. first of I loved your ted talk posts, they made me ugly laugh loud enough i was scared i was gonna wake my neighbours.

I'm >>167653 and i'm so sorry you've been so fucked over by "questioning"/bi girls. I've heard so many similar things from other lesbians that I honestly don't fault any woman for not hooking up with bi[curious] girls.

It's frustrating as a femme too because so many of these women who use butche/gnc women to experiment present very feminine and often self-ID as femmes, which means we get inadvertently roped into their shitty behaviour – I'm sure you probably feel similarly about the scrote-lite butches that are out there. at this point "femme" has been so co-opted that I honestly prefer the term "lipstick lesbian" for myself, but I feel like that fell out of favour about two decades ago lmao

It's also so wild reading your response and realizing just how intricate lesbian dating/sexual politics really are. between femme invisibility, the misconception that butch = stone butch, the convoluted "top/bottom/vers" discourse that doesn't even really make sense given the spectrum of lesbian sexual activity… meanwhile my gay male friends don't think twice about where they put their dicks or what they call themselves. whatta world.

anyways ted talk anon thank u for your thoughtful comment and I hope u have a good day… wish we could hang out and do some bong rips together.

No. 167782

>It's also so wild reading your response and realizing just how intricate lesbian dating/sexual politics really are.[..]meanwhile my gay male friends don't think twice about where they put their dicks or what they call themselves. whatta world.
man, I was happier before I connected those dots. All this involvement in internet SJW-politics just shits up real world and makes traversing in actual lesbian spaces much harder, since a lot of lesbians now love to use bajillion of microlabels and quiz for random political stances to see who is 'pure'. Men literally don't have the 'gold-star' discourse or 'who is the correct feminist' shitfights or other bullshit.

No. 167788

This is something I envy gay men a lot for, I wish I could just do casual hookups and not go through personality quizzes, candlelight dinners and two u-haul vans just to get laid. I know I come off as a scrote for this but I really hate how needlessly complex everything has to be in lesbian circles. I know it's because of lesbians being sexualized as toys for straight couples and female sexuality overall being policed but it's still annoying.

No. 167800

Jap-anon here..Obviously I never want to force a woman to wear or do things she doesn't want.

I think we lesbians get it harder than gay dudes by a lot. A lot of politics goes into how we dress when obviously it's not always that way (me im femme looking but I don't shave but to some this is not femme). Also lesbian sex is never easy because you always have to talk first… you can't just say "top or bottom" and go. It takes a lot to just "get laid" which is why I get now why they have lesbian-only sex services in Japan

I think being women we naturally rely on social systems more and thus the labels seem to mean more to us? Idk just theorizing.

I'm femme but tbh I have been hoed by bi-curious girls. Before being with bi girls I usually make sure they have a serious dating history with women. But still I don't exclude them inherently because you can't choose to like men .

Goldstar politics are insane, Gay men don't have half those issues.There's a lot of issues around gay dating that are just harder aside from the obvious low dating pool.

No. 167801

Samefag, On god I wanna hang out with all of ya'll. This board is really helpful for me

No. 167802

Each time I hang out with a girl I don't flirt at all because I don't know how to do it, with men they all just assume I'm into them but this is the 3rd date in a row where the girl just never talks to me again and I think Its because I come off like I'm not into girls. I used to get tipsy before dates but that's obviously stupid but it really did make me better at communicating I was into people so I'm tempted to go back to it.

No. 167803

Do you preemptively tell her you're bad at flirting?

No. 167804

That's because men are degenerates and they will fuck anything. Fags are no different
From my experience, only women who had sexual past with men are triggered by gold star discourse. You may think that lesbians in the 70s didn't care about that stuff, but that's because the wast majority of feminist "lesbian" spokeswomen were political lesbians who claimed lesbianism as a political label, not actual lesbians. They thought orientation is a choice so you can just go from fucking men to fucking women and claim you were "always a lesbian"

No. 167805

Have you guys dated a girl that you weren’t attracted to? That you’re only in the relationship due to the small dating pool and loneliness?

I’ve been talking to someone for a while now. They’re super sweet and smart. My biggest gripe though is they pretty much embody “queer culture”, I found out a month ago that they’re actually non-binary and idk how I feel about that.

No. 167806

No, should I? I just try to act like I do around my friends since that's the real me.

No. 167810

Don't date women you aren't attracted to. Pretty sure my ex did that to me and when I realized what was happening it felt awful. She'll know something's off and it'll crush her self esteem, just get a weighted blanket.

No. 167815


Twice yes. But don't do it anon. Its better to be gay and lonely than looking at a girl with indifference.

Lonliness is better than dating someone you're not attracted to. Trust me. Emptiness of the weird disassocistion is worse.

Also I don't know what's different now from covid ir maybe me just being older, but itd been really easy to find girls online

No. 167816

> That's because men are degenerates and they will fuck anything. Fags are no different

Based af anon

And yeah we do get a little mad about "goldstar" Because there are legitimate lesbians who have dated men before. Comphet is real for us. It's not as easy for everyone.

No. 167823

So growing up i had two close friends in middle school a guy and a girl. (Keep in mind now we're all almost 30) We all hetero dated and i had my first kiss with the girl and some tit play but she insisted she was hetero. Ffwd and the girl just married a girl and the guy just married his male partner. Im single but was the only one who was out as "bisexual" at the time but now gay.

Tl;dr all my childhood friends turned out gay. We all found eachother even though none of us predicted it lol. I also have some other friends who wound up gay or bisexual even if when i met them they were super closeted.

Has this ever happened to yall where you just happened to gravitate to other gay people?

No. 167837

I think being femme isn't just your appearance, it's also your personality. I know how mad most lesbians get when you compare their relationships to straight ones but that's literally what the femme/butch dichotomy is based on.
I consider myself a femme. I don't really wear makeup or dresses, but I'm just a very feminine person in my mannerisms and overall personality. And I like butch women because they attract me sexually and I enjoy being the "feminine" counterpart in relationship. It might not be PC but I don't care.

No. 167838

Yes, it was honestly a perfect relationship otherwise but I broke her heart. Wtf do you expect to happen anon?

No. 167866

The goldstar shit is especially grating to anyone who grew up in a repressive environment and had to deal with comphet. Not all of us had good support networks and information growing up that didn't force heterosexual expectations upon us. I've met girls who didn't even know that you could date a woman, like they knew that they didn't enjoy their relationships with men but didn't even consider the option. It's the reason why celibacy was so strongly associated with gay people in the past, you didn't like the opposite sex so the only other option was to stay single. I'm sometimes mad that I "missed" my youth because I simply did not realize that I was gay and chose to isolate myself instead of exploring the options.

Honestly I don't understand why people keep pushing this "fem&masc dynamics are toxic!!!" discourse. Opposites attract each other all the time no matter what's your sexuality. It's not some het psyop to convert gay couples to fit the traditional heterosexual relationship model. It's absolutely justified to get mad at the "so which one is the husband/wife" because I was asked that when dating one of my ex girlfriends and it was intrusive and disparaging, but it's an entirely different issue of straight people projecting their stereotypical gender roles.

No. 167873

>The goldstar shit is especially grating to anyone who grew up in a repressive environment and had to deal with comphet
I'm talking about western "first world" countries, where no one physically forces you to have sex with men in order not to get killed, abused or become homeless. And yeah, exactly, actual gay people choose celibacy now, not having sex and relationships with the opposite sex. I don't even live in a western country and even here I prefer to choose celibacy. As long as you're not in danger, dating men is not an option. How many excuses can western women have?

No. 167874

>Implying all of western countries are tolerating of gay people and you will never be disowned by your family, ostracized by your community or discriminated against for being gay even if you don't straight out get beat up every day on the street or arrested
Anon I got news for you

No. 167875

But there are other choices than openly parading as gay and having sex with men lmao.

No. 167880

Nta, but that's where comphet comes in. Not everyone realizes instantly they're actually lesbian, some women need longer than others.

No. 167882

There's a stark difference between alienating late bloomer lesbians who thought they were just broken straights for decades and bihets who prey on lesbians for casual sex while only committing to men.

No. 167895

But not only straight people push the het relationship model. I'm convinced that there are many anons who think that one of them should pay for dates like a man, or that one should stay at home and do nothing like a housewife. Let's be real here.

No. 167900

File: 1611065437395.gif (4.4 MB, 480x360, g.gif)

No. 167902

Comphet is a theory created by a political lesbian, not an actual one.

No. 167906

File: 1611066610404.jpg (43.95 KB, 604x340, notthisshitagain.jpg)

Can we talk about something other than political lesbians/goldstar/comphet/"true" lesbians for once. Jesus christ this thread is almost 900 posts long and the majority of it is sperging about ReAl LesBiaNs. No one cares.

On that note. What are some of the more obvious "lesbian" fashion choices? Anything that just screams "that girl is gay" when you see her in public?

No. 167908

Either butches
>Minimal makeup
>Jeans with t-shirts, possibly snapbacks
Or femmes
>Curly hair
>Always skirts and dresses, never pants
I'm not even trying to be snarky, it's really just how it seems to be. I'm the butch

No. 167911

Butches are pretty obvious. But I spent years with my femmedar messed up because I went to an all-girls school and all feminine fashion just pinged as "typical" to me. But now, all the femmes I know seem to LOVE platform shoes (straight girls tend toward white sneakers or regular heels).

No. 167917

I've heard about this stuff on radfem tumblr actually, so no you aren't the only one (including the whole 'I was closeted and still found other closeted gay people'). I kinda envy people like you.
Maybe there is some telepathic gay-to-gay connection or maybe we just become focused this one coincidence and think it is a sign. Or maybe there are a lot more homo-leaning people than we think

No. 167920

Thanks for sharing this; it made me realize something about myself as well. Back in high school, I had a group of 4 best friends. Shortly after we graduated, one came out to us as a lesbian. Fast forward 10+ years later, two others in the group are bi and have dated girls, one believes she may be bi but is dating a man so isn't looking to experiment, and I myself have since come out as a lesbian as well. My theory is a bit similar to >>167917's; not only is it possible there are a lot more homo-leaning people on earth than we think, but I think that having a gay friend early on makes us more likely to consider that possibility about ourselves, which inevitably leads us to realizing what we really are.

No. 167927

I have to agree with your entire post. I'm not a lesbian, bi girl here, but I do get tired of people saying butch or gnc women are trying to emulate men. Whether or not anyone wants to admit it being butch gives you more discrimination as opposed to being more "straight passing".

No. 167934

To anons with partners, what's your favourite thing about her?

I love making my girlfriend laugh because her smile is the cutest in the world. It's so gratifying to know I'm the one who put it there. Makes me wanna kiss her cheeks.

No. 167937

You’re both right, I didn’t consider her/their feelings if I were to lead them on.

I’d rather be alone than hurt someone.

Idk, I thought maybe I’d come to love them eventually? I’ve only met 3 lesbians irl, so I got excited initially by the idea of a relationship.

No. 167940

I'm glad you're a fan! Would indeed be cool to hangout.

But yeah I have no problem dating bi women if they're sure they are SSA and haven't recently been with a scrote. Not because of any ick factor or whatever, but because holy shit ex scrotes are drama. Suddenly lesbians aren't hot when dudes believe they stole their gf. Also I don't want any potential partner to continue some het dynamic with me.

hold up, I'll make more memes

No. 167952

You know what, fuck this, how many absolutely gay people on earth do yall think there are (including closet cases)? I'd say between 5-10%. I have seen people speculate that it is as low as 1%, but imo that is just bitterness and alienation from general society talking.

No. 167960

She always smells amazing and I love her dry, sarcastic sense of humor and the way she glances at me in the get a load of this guy -way whenever she sees someone doing something stupid in public lol

No. 167968

So nothing about her actual personality? As in legitimate traits, values, etc?

No. 167969

I'd say 1% for exclusive homosexuality is probably accurate. I could definitely see 5-10% of the population being bi and bicurious though.

No. 167975

I come from a homophobic family and I can't help but feel guilty for being with a girl. I get paranoid. I sometimes feel like even my friends are disgusted by me being lesbian when it's false.
I hate myself for not liking men. I know it's stupid but I can't get past this feeling. I'm sick of people looking at me and my girlfriend on the street like we're some freakshow when we're just kissing. I just want to be normal.

Anons how do you get rid of the guilt?

No. 167977

Idk I'd say someone's sense of humor is a big part of their personality. What's the issue here exactly?

No. 167984

I think the ayrt is just single and salty about it. Anyways, my gf is the best because she listens critically but without judgement.

No. 167997

i literally had to become an athiest to get rid of mine

No. 168007

I know a lot of lesbians don't want a girl who's never dated another girl. I assume this means they don't want girls who've only been in het relationships. But what about girls with no dating history at all? I'm in my 20s and I know I'm gay, I was just a loser in high school and college and I don't want to date right now for various reasons. How much of a problem will my inexperience be when I start trying to date?

No. 168010


I kinda relate anon.
I grew up in a really conservative area til I was like 18, by that point I was too afraid to pursue women because I was only just coming to terms with being bi (I know this is the lesbian thread, sorry), and now I’ve just turned 25 and I’m starting to think I’ll never be with a woman in a romantic way. It makes me really sad. I wish I knew how to approach other women romantically. I just don’t and I’m too scared I’ll make a fool of myself, or be a boring/unsatisfactory/annoying partner to try. I wish I could be brave enough to.

I know it’s not the exact same situation but I just wanted to say I relate and I hope you find your dream girl soon.

No. 168011

I'm also wondering this as an awkward semi-recluse entering her mid-twenties.
Hypothetically, I'm open to working hard to be a good partner but I do kind of fear that most women would prefer someone they don't have to "train." Kind of hoping a good match for me (another awkward gal) would be the type not to care tho.

No. 168012

I can't really say since I'm in the same boat, but I hope it gives you comfort knowing there are a lot of lesbians out there like us, or who had similar experiences. Trust me, I've encountered a surprising amount of lesbians who were unexperienced and in their 20s, or they didn't start hitting milestones like kissing, dating, losing virginity, etc. until they were in their 20s. Plenty of us are/were latebloomers (in the traditional sense, not "latebloomer lesbian" who fucked men), it's a fairly common phenomenon in the lesbian community but for some reason I feel like it doesn't get acknowledged enough.

No. 168026

File: 1611125410288.jpg (169.54 KB, 1214x692, is she gay.jpg)

No. 168028

Blog ahead
I have, anon. it was my first serious relationship. I felt uncomfortable because deep down I knew my attraction was to a woman and to the female form and I just felt strange ignoring that. I was really scared I wouldn't be attracted to her if she chose to go through with hormones etc (she was only socially transitioned) but I also knew it wasn't my place to control that. There was a multitude of reasons why it didn't last, but that was a big one. (I dated her before I peaked)
Ironically I've only dated men after her (unsuccessfully, and never longer than a few weeks at a time, I always break it off because I get so freaked out). I regret that it took me so long to realize that I've been attracted to women all this time.. sorry for the blog/confession but maybe someone here can relate

No. 168072

I'm similar and I have worried about that since I won't start dating before hitting my mid 20's. Honestly, I will just do it and see what happens. If you don't get out there, you will never get lesbian experience anyway, so. I am from homophobic country anyway, so if my initial inexperience is a serious dealbreaker for a woman, it just means she is removed from reality

No. 168079


>Im also a semi-awkward recluse

All lolcow lesbians in a nutshell LOL


Mine isn't like a fight or flight instinct just an making a disgusted look level. It just seems wrong to me. This is speaking as a late bloomer who had been with moids before and never really liked it so I know what I'm missing

No. 168111

kinda loving the current replies to older posts. i was sad when this thread was kind of dead.

No. 168136

> If you don't get out there, you will never get lesbian experience
Honestly true for any experience, but it’s always easier said than done.

I have no experience other than what I’ve seen people say but I agree with the other poster that I think other lesbians find inexperience more acceptable than any other sexuality due to the experience and culture of lesbianism/being closeted, etc.

No. 168137

anybody else bitter and miserable that they missed out on the typical trial and error high school relationships that hets usually have and are now diving blind into whatever adult relationships are supposed to be

No. 168224

yes, a thousand percent. shit's unfair and i want my HS do-over. it's harder as an adult and ppl expect more.

No. 168263

I was online a hell of a lot back in the day so I didn't miss out on the dating a lot of lesbians claim to have. I used social sites to find people my age to have romantic LDR or meet online then in person.

I recc this if there's young people reading here.

Granted i used vampirefreaks, myspace and xanga but that was back in the day. Now I join fb groups and lurk for women.

No. 168264

Samefagging because it sounded weird.

I will communicate with them on threads and groups and then DM them. I also made friends this way who I later met irl. So its worked for me

No. 168393

Maybe it’s my turbo autism but I feel like it’s harder now to meet people online and actually become friends with them than it was back then. It felt more open and inviting to meet a stranger and get to know each other, now it’s like everything is already established and more closed off. I don’t know if that makes sense but I honestly have a hard time finding new people to talk to.

No. 168394

like i used to meet all of my e-friends on habbo and shit lmao, occasionally tumblr

No. 168410

No, I understand what you mean anon.

No. 168538

Yeah, I'll definitely have to put work into learning how to be a good gf, but who's going to put up with my stumbles… I hope you have better luck anyway.

The lesbians I know irl are a bit older and are in (or have had) relationships, and the young "queer" girls seem to get mad bitches. So I feel like a failure even though I know I'm not alone. I mean I'm relieved, but also sad that so many of you have the same problem. I hope you're all right about lesbians accepting inexperience more.

No. 168545

I just want a girlfriend. Actually not even that, I just want to have a chance to possibly meet a girlfriend. Why was I born here?

No. 168548

To suffer

No. 168549

tfw no lolcow friend/lesbian meeting threads anymore

No. 168556

Because retarded anons ruined it.

No. 168742

pls share

No. 168886

Bruh. bring it back we're always going to be retarded, so lets get this party started!

No. 168897

>ywn have a farmer gf that tolerates your cringe and loves you unconditionally
why live.

No. 168901

Same unless i seduce my farmer friends

No. 168903

pls serenade me anonitta

No. 169550

Would you guys have sex with a woman who didn't get the Gardasil vaccine? I'm not anti-vax and I've been looking into getting it as an adult but it's gonna be a wait because cost/covid.

My ex wouldn't touch me because I hadn't had it and I don't know if that's normal or if it was her being nuts. I'm just wondering like in the meantime, is this something I should disclose to people right away? Like should I treat it the same as if I had herpes or something?

No. 169552

File: 1612009530725.jpg (117.18 KB, 640x855, 1.jpg)

>Hey, come here
>I made you come with one finger, now imagine two

No. 169554

? Just get a test for all sti's before sex, especially in a ltr.
No idea why people don't do this. If your partner is offended by the suggestion they may have something to hide.

No. 169563

How immoral is it to date / hook up with a fakeboi who doesn't know I'm radfem leaning? Hypothetically ofc

No. 169568

Why would you even want to hook up with a delusional self-loathing person?

No. 169573

Try to peak her.

No. 169593

How often do you ask for the therapy notes of people you're banging, anon? They look like butches and I'm into that.

No. 169604


Most of fakebois are too mentally draining and suck your energy dry because they want you to be their mommy/therapist and they’ll show the toxic side of BPD when you don’t validate their fragile identity all the time.

And usually body image issues means shit sex too so why bother even with fwb thing?

No. 169640

I just want to hook up and party. I hate Covid for clitblocking me.

No. 169654


Ugly laughing at thia question anon. I NEED an update and more info

No. 169655

For some reason i cant bring myself to tell my family im gay. They all know im bisexual and are fine about it (secretly i can sense a weird energy from my mom but whatever). They'd all be wholesomely supportive but I have a mental road block there for some reasons…

No. 169659

I feel weird because I'm disabled and I can't do a lot of things with my partner (i mean like hiking or traveling etc not sex). I've already had to let go of potential girlfriends due to my illness getting in the way which I understand but I'd need someone whose okay online or over phone more than irl because leaving the house and going out is physically difficult.

I also feel guilt because I can't ever realistically leave home and jump and uhaul with someone (tfw) or travel the world (so boho and sport lesbians are automatically out of my dating pool).

I wouldn't feel weird making a dude take care of me because it would be like reparations. But burdening a woman is a hard thing for me to consider.

Any other disabled lesbos?

No. 169669

What kind of disability do you have?

No. 169671

Fibromyalgia. It wasn't as notable when i was younger but has since gotten worse. It makes daily tasks exhausting so usually i don't leave the house and only do basic chores like cat care and the dishes.

No. 169725

Im been texting a woman for like two weeks and Im already imagining being together. Anyone else this pathetic?

No. 169730

Not fibro but yeah. The most I do is going grocery shopping around the corner and then keeping my house clean by myself. After that I run out of energy. I haven't dated or thought about it in 3 years.

My last relationship literally ended over my partner wanting a weekend away and me saying I didn't feel up to it (packing up pets, many hours in car with stressed out pets and me in pain etc) They went on the trip alone and ended up fucking a local woman there that they then shacked up with. From my understanding she actually has her own health issues so it's not like they've traveled since then. I was dumped over my limitations and cheated on and replaced with a woman who I think has at least equal limitations. I don't get it.

I'm not enthusiastic to put myself out there again given that energy is low and that shit ate me up for too long making me sicker than I've ever been. Investing energy in someone new feels too risky when it's the one thing you don't have.

No. 169739

Don't worry, anon. A cute dyke working at the pet store told me she liked my shirt and I've been picturing dating her ever since. When the gay is on the brain, it sticks around for a while.

No. 169751

Yes. My girlfriend is currently working while I'm unemployed (sudden mystery health issues on top of what I already deal with), but before this I worked part time and was at least able to pull my weight. I feel an incredible amount of guilt that I don't know how to cope with, but she insists she likes to provide for me and was always worried about me when I was working because of how hard it was on my body. I keep things clean and meal prep for her when I have energy, but I can't handle a lot of fun couples activities and it makes me feel like she's missing out. I'm lucky she likes a quiet, routine life for the most part, but I wish I was a more lively, energetic partner.

No. 169777

I feel this way about many women, but for some reason almost never for anyone on a dating app. Is there something wrong with me? Am I subconsciously avoiding a relationship? Irl or in more casual settings online, I suddenly feel like some sort of horndog for how many women I think are attractive and wonderful and end up fantasizing about what it would be like to date them.

No. 169800

nta but I feel the same way. Dating apps aren't very romantic, it feels like a job interview. Talking to women irl/casually feels more genuine and it's pathetically easy for me to get a crush.

No. 169813

thirding this

No. 169832

I'm late to this but honestly I wouldn't care. I know comphet/celibacy by homosexuality is a thing and people struggle to accept their sexuality, I was in my late 20's when I finally accepted that I'm gay. The only women with no lesbian dating history I wouldn't date would be the pillow princesses who had 15 boyfriends and are now looking for a fun female whim while holding out for an actual man to run off with.

Seconding >>169573 , just peak her kek. It's not even that hard, I used to be a fakeboi but after peaking I'm just a soft butch.

No. 169833

Nta but what does peaking mean?

No. 169834

iirc it's an incident that makes you finally get fed up with trans bullshit and become a terf

No. 169837

It comes from the word "peak trans" which is basically the last straw that broke the camel's back and makes you realize how fucked up the trans ideology is. For example:
>I saw Jessica Yaniv stalking and suing small female beautician businesses for refusing to wax his balls, that was the moment I finally peaked

No. 169838

That makes sense

I'm an ex fakeboi too and I didn't have an external example that snapped me out of it but my wake up call was when I was walking somewhere late at night, it was really quiet out and a woman clearly crossed the street to avoid me. I had been passing as male for a while and suddenly I found myself wanting to assure this stranger like 'don't worry I'm actually a woman'

No. 169839

I hate dating apps as well. They just feel so fake and also I dont get matches.

No. 169851

For me personally it's hard to figure out what some women are really on dating apps for, y'know how some say they're supposedly using Tinder for friends. And then there's the whole other issue of wondering if they're simply curious or genuinely into the same sex. Legit can never figure it out on stuff like Bumble especially which is one of the worst places to not match with other girls, maybe I'm overthinking?

No. 169860

I'm never gonna be with a gf, am I?

No. 169873

Every time I got on a dating app, it was a constant game of “is this one gay?” for me. I’ve completely given up on apps at this point. I would legit consider making my own dating app before going back.

No. 169933

Yeah I know some straight women just look for friends or just see womens profiles out of curiosity on tinder. I tried an app just for women, but there were very few close to me and it was filled with men (not even troons, regular ass men).

No. 169938

I joined bumble when I moved from a large city to a very small town. I figured I would stand no chance of organically meeting lesbians here so it was finally time for apps. Mens profiles showed up… I figured it was an issue on my end, that maybe I picked the wrong settings? I chatted to one guy for a couple days just because we shared interests (his profile pic was him posing with a statue from my fave film) I immediately told him I'm gay but figured a friendship might form. Like maybe a coffee buddy. I had no friends here.

When he wanted to see pics of all my tattoos.. I quickly realised I was fooling myself. I'm pretty sure I actually had the settings picked correctly and men just don't respect the fact that lesbians are actually lesbians.

No. 169958

how do lesbians feel about dating bi women who have very little experience with men? like a bi girl who has only been with one guy before and moved on because it was objectively shit. is that typically seen as more desirable than a bi woman who has a large body count with males? asking for a friend

No. 169969

Can I answer this if I'm also bi? Personally if a woman has a very similar male body count to mine (which is relatively low atm) I prefer that and the reason for this is I'd feel like a woman with a much higher male body count wouldn't take my sexuality seriously almost? And I'd end up worrying that she saw relationships between women as less important and me as less experienced etc. It has nothing to do with "shaming" or whatever. On the other hand I don't really have any thoughts about other women's girl body count.

No. 169970

I'm gay and given my age and where I live I spent my early/mid twenties trying to pass myself off as straight so I have my own low body count with males too. I dated two guys long term and avoided sex as much as you can before getting dumped for 'being frigid' both times

I can only guess that lifestyle is becoming less common now but there was a time when enough lesbians sadly had a sexual past with males too. So I wouldn't feel threatened by it. I know sometimes gold stars like to stick together.

No. 169973

Off topic, but if a woman wouldn't date me because of my experience with men, I wouldn't want to date her either.

No. 169976

I swear to God nobody cares about the Gold Star thing except in online discourse. It's so stupid. Why don't you eat pussy for a couple hours and maybe then you'll calm down.

No. 169977

I hope you're right, but >>169973 already sounds pissed.

No. 169979

>eat pussy for a couple hours and maybe then you'll calm down
I'm not the anon you're talking about but the convo looks calm and civil already. Telling people to calm down when there's nothing to calm down over is weird.

No. 169992

None of us have gf anon.

No. 169994

Honestly when I ID'd as Bi I really did get irl shit from goldstars and wouldn't be taken seriously. I dated bi girls mostly. The only lesbians who would date me were ones who had dated a guy before. Or one lesbian I dated who was kind of jealous I was bisexual (internalized lesphobia) because of the freedom on dating (her words not mine) she was hardcore in denial for so long tho

No. 169996

You have to understand that the term goldstar itself comes from something that was used in the past to mock lesbians who hadn't fucked men and there's still certainly this kind of homophobic attitude in particular circles and there is no completely innocent party. Your lesbian ex sounds extremely bi btw.

>inb4 goldstar, I'm bi

No. 170003

i have never seen any evidence for this claim, i have only ever heard it on tumblr and no one ever has had any source for this.

maybe because i am not an english speaker i do not understand the traumatizing effect of the word gold star but if this is true damn what a dumb thing to stay pressed over decades about if this really is about some ancient mocking.

No. 170011

Wanna be my gf?

No. 170012


I also have never seen any of this and I'm a native English speaker.

No. 170054

File: 1612360133012.jpeg (47.63 KB, 738x415, 02.jpeg)

After years of agonising, finally admitted to myself that I'm a lesbian. I feel so incredibly relieved and happy, but also scared. Bittersweet; things will be hard, but I'm glad I came to the realisation while I'm young.

I've only come out to my best friend who is a gay guy (my only gay friend, and i knew him before he came out) and he said it was extremely obvious and he had known for years

I'm not close to any sort of stereotype btw, in hindsight I always engaged very intensely with women and lesbian adjacent stories which probably tipped him off before I even fully realised

I was the type of kid who just saw it as normal to think about girls and girls being together, it never really clicked with me since I wasnt interested in relationships while i was underage

I have had two boyfriends in the past, but I noticed i became depressed very quickly and was never satisfied, always looking for a reason to break up and there were plenty of reasons to anyway, both were very emotionally manipulative and older than me. I thought it was normal, but I always covered my eyes during sex and automatically thought of a woman's body. It feels very weird to type it out like this but I'm hoping someone will understand, maybe even relate and realise theyre the same lol

Anyway, I'm starting college soon but I'm not fresh out of hs or anything, i worked and travelled for a few years. It's in a country and subject where a lot of interesting people (hopefully girls) will attend. I've decided to have my lesbian renaissance and get a nice gf
I'm very femme, but I want a shy cute gf. Wish me luck anons

No. 170058

So happy for you anon. Goodluck!

No. 170261

File: 1612427188800.jpeg (51.92 KB, 598x682, 22241E8E-E49C-48F9-B8C1-3DC158…)

I came out as a lesbian before I was a teenager and experimented with bi but I’ve only dated MTFs. I want to be with a woman so badly but I feel ashamed that I’m getting in what feels like late in the game, I don’t know how to have lesbian sex, and I have so much to work through. I can’t imagine being dateable to another girl. How do I get over this?

No. 170461

Good luck anon! Also tfw samefag for being with dudes and getting depresso and thinking of girls during sex LOL


Im also a later in life lesbo who has only had sex with one gf and had dated troons (mtf) before. Basically I know what I like and I use that logic. I always also talk to girls im interested in and ask how they like it. (Some lesbians dislike penetration etc.)

No. 170462

Maybe it's because I'm a bitter retard but most "coming out" stories from celebs don't inspire me in the slightest. But I was really happily moved by Jojo Siwa solely because its normalizing lesbian relationships for teens and has her audience is children and young girls I think it will help young lesbians feel better about themselves. Giving the number of late in life lesbians (usually post teen at least) I think having a normalized role model is good and hopefully more young women will realize sooner than I did or have courage to come out if they know.

this soothes the wound left by ellen page trooning out

No. 170543

I don't think people here really have any significant experience regarding this, but the whole 'just go out and meet people!' advice just seems really unhelpful. It doesn't help that a lot of wlw spaces talk how you should never be on dating sites and how there are only men and psychos. I just don't get it, how am I supposed to actually meet another woman organically? It sounds so USA-centric

First of all, we are a minority, so how much people do I have to go through to find one - and just a lesbian, not even talking about compatibility and actual dating probability
Second of all, I, like many others, don't live in a region that is welcoming to gays. I don't see how, living in Eastern Europe, I can just join some random class/meetup and find a lesbian standing there.
Dating sites just seem the most logical

It is tiring already and people acting high and mighty about not using tinder and shit never helps. Good for you, but if I wait for 'accidentally meeting my next gf' or 'just meet new people' I will die a virgin
And judging by how desperate and lonely american wlw women are, it doesn't seem that their own advice works anyway

No. 170548

Neither tactic is ideal, but at least if you're in hobby spaces or going to meet ups, you have much better chances of connecting with people organically and enjoying a common interest. Even if you don't find romance (and you might!), you'lllcertainly enrich your life in other ways.

No. 170562


Burgerlander here and You have a point but on the other hand…what do you suggest? Lesbians are harder to meet than gay men imo you really can only rely on modern boards, facebook, dating apps etc. Or go to hobby events and hope for the best.

Even in best case scenario where you have a gay scene, shits just hard. I've always had to rely on internet or friend of a friend for meeting women because its just harder for lesbians to meet someone.

No. 170563


Immensely wholesome content here gaynon. Ily

No. 170587

Join a circle of lesbian friends and date each other and each other's exes. That's how we do it around here

No. 170706

guys what does it mean when you’re a lesbian and you have a girlfriend and everything but you find yourself seriously attracted to anime boys (not the really muscular ones but the pretty bishonen ones) i guess there’s something so feminine and cute about their appearances and sometimes i like to pretend they’re butch women lol . anime guys are so much better than irl guys . idk maybe the internet has rotted my brain .

No. 170721

Me trying to find anyone irl has mainly caused me to just crush on straight women and find out too late that they are actually straight.

When I was younger and being a lesbian wasn't so taboo in "LGBT circles", it was somewhat doable.

No. 170725

it means you're lesbian, anon

No. 170738

Coomer lesbian. Many such cases.