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tfw the only person I matched with was someone I went to school with who isn't out yet
has anyone tried tinder for a gf? my last gf I found through dnd lel
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I fucking hate queer theory and I don't even know what that means bc I was never dumb enough to take gender studies in college. it was women's studies for half a year then everything changed!
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Seriously it's the worst kind of cancer
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anyone here a lesbian in a 3rd world homophobic shithole where women barely have rights and have never had a proper relationship with another woman because of it?
yeah i wanna die. anyway tfw no gf
Lmao cali is full of fukgirls
I feel you man. In the same boat here but because I'm bi I've had more luck with men. Its difficult to find anyone who isn't super liberal here, male or female.
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Damn I wish I had this. My gf and I were never into talking about politics until I came out as GC in the summer. Shes been escalating fights and threatening to leave me if I dont rejoin her TRA logic. It's got me filled up with enough anxiety that I might leave later on. She cant seem to grasp how it can hurt her and other women/ lesbians down the road.
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I'm really sorry, anon. I would've asked how is your relationship aside from this issue, but if she's even threatening to leave you if you don't kiss TRA boots she doesn't seem nice.
Anyway, many lesbians are peak transing by the day. Being on dating apps I realized how many girls I talked to were also skeeved out by troons, once the topic came out and they felt comfortable with telling me.
So I'm sure you will find a non-TRA gf! They're not rare anymore.
I'm not sure if I should come out to my family. I just have this feeling that it's pretty obvious that I'm not straight, and everyone is fine with it as long as I never put it into words, you know? like saying it out loud makes it worse somehow. my dad is kind of homophobic but I've only seen him react to gay males, I don't know his stance on gay women. my mom would be cool with it but she doesn't like keeping secrets from my dad, so if I tell her I'd have to tell him as well.
at the moment I'm fine with not saying anything, my sisters and some aunties are single, childless, career types, and my family accepts that, so I can easily look like that as well.
note that I am not close with any of them, except my mom, I see my immediate family during holidays only and extended family on the rare occasion some cousin gets married or has a special party.
I don't know, I guess it doesn't matter, since there's no pressure for me to pretend to be straight. just the absence of telling them I'm gay. though, i guess I'd feel guilty to tell them I'm single/lie if I had a girlfriend.
my family is homophobic and i'll wait to come out until i'm in a serious relationship
i feel like it's just not worth it when youre single, because what does it change? it's just uncomfortable and in theory gives anyone ammo for "but you just havent found the right man yet!!!!"
don't stress it if theres no need for you to say it right now
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Kinda don’t know where to ask this so this place is my best bet ig. I can’t tell if I’m actually just straight because I’m scared of not being “safe and stable” without a man in my life or if I’m becoming more attracted to other women because of the many pros that come with lesbianism? Ever since I started reading more radfem blogs and about how terrible and disgusting men are, and encountering that first hand with all of my exes sadly, I felt a noticeable shift in my preferences. But only in how I notice women in public and being attracted to them or actually getting nervous around pretty girls. I do, however, have a weird history of inner desires. I always preferred lesbian porn and even when having sex with my exes I would imagine that in order to feel aroused. And how my taste in men would always have to be feminine and “harmless” in order to feel safe with continuing the relationship. I just don’t know if this is some awakening that is happening now that I’m getting lonely or if its because I’m finally taking time for myself and noticing how I feel instead of pushing it aside to please others.
I made a post in the vent thread, basically she was just using me as a no strings attached rebound while knowing very well what I wanted, and upon being called out she kept on contradicting herself ("Yes I was flirting because I like you" then 10 minutes later "I wasn't flirting, I was just being nice, I'm sorry that you took it that way") and denying everything.
Lesbian dating is truly life on nightmare mode. Dating tip for the future: ask her when did she have her last breakup. If it's been less than a year, run away and don't look back.
Im not this anon >>132181
, im just a straight woman passing by explaining why some straight womeen like feminine men
I don't think of porn when I'm having sex period lol
I'm a bi girl but I have different attractions when it comes to men and women. Maybe you just want clitorial stimulation or the sex is unfulfilling which in that case, call your man out on it.
Also I don't really consider girls bi or lesbian if they just want to have sex with girls. I've known plenty of woman going down on girls cuz some sleazeball wanted to get off to it. If you're really bi or lesbian I believe you can have genuine feelings and attraction to the same sex.
I don't mind sex with him, usually it's great and he lasts a long time and always works on getting me off. But he doesn't turn me on despite being very conventionally attractive and very kind.>>132193
I don't watch porn and never have. It's disgusting.>>132191
I would love to have sex with women, does that make me bi? I never fantasize about women romantically like relationship wise.
I think what makes a woman (or man) bi is being sexually attracted
to individuals of the same sex, not just wanting to have sex with them. That sounds like semantics, but I just mean that having sex with that woman is the turn on, not just sex in general because it feels good/because you feel hot being with a woman. You want to touch her sexually and make her orgasm and that's the appeal.
Although I imagine it's different for pillow princesses? I'm speaking as mainly a service top and my attraction to both sexes has almost nothing to do with my own body. If anyone has input on how that attraction feels please lmk.
Also I know some people don't consider someone truly bi if they don't feel romantic attraction to the both sexes. So you will never be bi to them if that's the case. On the fence myself since I do want to date both, so idk.
And an apology from me for not being a lesbian and posting itt.
This is why the Kinsey scale can be pretty useful. Everything that isn't 0 or 6 can technically be considered bi, with 3 being "le true bisexual 50/50 man/woman", which isn't actually that common. Bicurious is probably the best term for someone like that anon there. I would also personally define bisexuality as someone who is capable of feeling both romantic and sexual feelings for both sexes, though it of course doesn't have to be 50/50. But people are free to identify as they like, really.
And now speaking of nothing, any other lesbian anons stuck in the middle of nowhere really worried they will end up alone or have to resort to LDRs? I live in an pretty small town in northern Europe, which does have a chapter of the national LGBT organisation, but the VAST majority of events they host are trans based. I have no issues with dating apps, but you just see the same people over and over again. I also don't mind LDRs but I'm just getting too old for that shit… I'm probably moving to an even smaller town soon and my chances of meeting someone will be even slimmer then. It just feels hopeless.
I think it's worth going to all LGBT gatherings, despite there being trans people. You don't have to date them if it's not your type, and most people are understanding of that in the offline world.
It's so hard to meet other lesbians if you avoid LGBT events unfortunately.
That's why I usually label myself as straight.
I will leave you guys alone now! Sexuality is always an interesting topic.
You're giving me such hope anon.
I can only hope both of us find love.
My ideal would be growing old with my gf and fight by her side (and marry her to be able to have the swordfighting lesbian wedding of my dreams)
Are you >>132163
How small of a town? Like everyone knows everyone or in less than 1 day all three towns around each other know everyone's business? Also don't give up hope, there's probably another closeted lesbian living there. That sounds sucky that though with coming out and being secluded, do they treat them like air or like they've caught the plague?
I dunno, I thought my friends did it because they found it hot in some way and I didn't mind so I always just went along with it and never thought much of it but maybe I'm being creepy???
I also stopped going to clubs altogether because I honestly can't stand another strange male grinding up on me out of nowhere
girls are mean to me does this mean they wanna kiss me?
doesn't make sense since men are absolute cunts to me too
tfw no gf
Two days late but I guess I would like to make you feel better too by answering. I love short/petite girls. I also like cute stuff but I don't wear it cause it's not a style I'm comfortable with, I would totally date a lolita/pastel girl since I find it attractive when people are confident with what they like.
I'm quite femme btw
Good luck anon, you'll find love for sure
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I tried online dating and found a date! I am super paranoid that she is going to be a man catfishing or some trap to out me to my family and friends but I'm going to give it a shot. Wish me luck, anons.
It really feels like I'll never find love.
I'm a nearly 23 kissless virgin. I never kissed boys cause they disgust me, and I never kissed girls cause there was none to kiss.
I'm from an European country, people here are religious but there's also a lot that are pro-gay, so it's not super bad. And yet, I can't find someone to date me.
I tried dating apps, nothing ever came of it.. I went to 5 dates in 4 years and honestly I hate how due to the dating pool being so small, I even had to meet up with some of them. The last girl I saw was so fundamentally different from me.. a bully that doesn't like "nerds" and "weebs" and loves to drink and party.. we had absolutely nothing in common, but I met up with her cause there was no one else interested in me.
It's depressing, I would love to move to a different, bigger city or to move out of the country but I'm still in UNI and there's no option like that for me.
I wish I could not feel shame about being kissless, but I do. I'm a grown woman and no one ever thought I'm cute enough to even hold my hand, I was never wanted.. not even by boys.
I know my personality isn't the best, but.. even the worst people seem to be getting dates, but not me.
Oh well, I'm trying to get over it anyway. Sorry if this is more of a rant thread post, but I thought I may find some consolation in fellow lesbians..
exactly the point I was trying to make.. it's very hard to find girls that aren't "normies" but to be honest here in Italy not EVERYONE is pro-trans. the other italian anon may know it too but a lot of lesbians carry the the same ideals as we do here on 2x, they just dont speak about it up front and you have to dig a bit. I'm honestly glad we aren't as far gone as the US.
But yeah I wish I could meet a sperg like you irl, I may sound like a pick-me "not like the other girls" type but I honestly have nothing in common with some of the girls I met. I don't think I'm better or anything, I'm just not interested in the party scene and would rather prefer someone who is into the same stuff as me.
Yikes. I remember when I was 16 I thought I was asexual cause Tumblr told me so. Then I switched to demisexual.. then I realized I'm just a normal human being.
I really wish for all the young girls in that phase to see the truth for what it is like I eventually did.
Yeah kids don't need all those confusing, dumb extra labels that describes being a normal human.
This lady is 25 though so it's kinda sad.
I know this is an old post but are you me? I'm 28 but in a few months I'll be 29. I live in a small country where most of the youth is anti gay. It's just terrible. The dating apps are a disaster, it's either couples, woman pretending to be lesbian only to disclose later that she's with her bf/husband, or really older women (40+) that have families, children etc, or extremely young girls (18-19yo) who for some reason want to hook up with me. Also single moms that suddenly want nothing to do with men. And the few women that are around my age and lesbian, well, we just don't click.
I know that I have no other way but to move to a bigger city to start properly dating and most likely abroad too, but that's easier said than done. I think I'll just say fuck it and have casual sex with a woman in my proximity even if it leads to nothing.
I just wanted to commiserate but I hope you find someone. I know a few lesbian couples that have met in their late 30s even 40s and have been happily together ever since so that fills me with joy and gives me hope that I'll experience something as well.
I weirdly feel the same. I tend to look at cute women when they pass me by, but I also feel like an old creepy dude when I do. That realization and the feeling of shame however is what sets us apart from the males, so that's good.
But overall, unless you're being too weird about it or have actual bad intentions you shouldn't feel like a predator. I think in both of our cases, we're probably still just a bit ashamed of our sexuality.
Are you out anon? If you're not, then maybe that what it is. You probably feel like you're doing something you're not supposed to cause you're still trying to hide who you really are.
>>132249> Then again the balkans isn't the most accepting place of the lgbt.
Where in the balkans are you? I'm in Croatia.> I catch myself looking at cute girls at the gym or anywhere because idk, I feel like I shouldn't?
I get that feeling too and I wish I knew how to stop myself from doing that. Also, I'm often going on short trips with my friends and they don't have any qualms about undressing in front of me or sharing a bed. If they ever find out (because I'm still in the closet), they're going to get the wrong idea.
I'm out and pretty open about it, but most people don't care or don't take me serious since I've only been with a man. Idk at this point really>>132255
Also Croatia! But up north around Varaždin
Idk, most women never had an issue with it, then again I never had really close friends to begin with
>>132256> Also Croatia! But up north around Varaždin
Noice, I'm in the Kvarner bay.> Idk, most women never had an issue with it, then again I never had really close friends to begin with
I had a mixed experience. Since I'm in the closet a few women openly told me how they felt about gays and lesbians, and I was shocked when they had nothing but hatred for them. They were from conservative families and "religious". I'm obviously not friends with them, but due to uni and later work, you bump into them and after chatting for a while the LGBT topic came up a few times and there you go.
However, I also know a good number of women that don't care or that are supportive so there's that. I don't think my friends would mind. I do feel predatory for being around them and not telling them and since I'll probably die alone, I'm not sure if it's worth coming out of the closet anyway.
If there's one thing that's good about being a lesbian or bi in your case, it's that we're not usually taken seriously enough for others to go out of their way to bring harm. A lot of men that hate gays are okay with lesbians for that very reason.
I've seen lesbians online hardcorely sticking to that term, but not irl. Which leads me to think most of those were very likely larping scrotes.
However I want to know what do other lesbians think about it too.
I think it's okay to have a preference. Obviously not when it comes to rape victims
but I personally, would like someone that hasn't been with a man voluntarily.
That doesn't mean I don't consider women that used to date men as lesbians if they feel that way. And it's not even a 100% no-no, it's just a preference. I don't use the term gold star.
Lesbians already live in a phallocentric world and always get asked how they can know they're a lesbian if they haven't slept with a man or that they will eventually find a man who can "turn" them. Compulsory heterosexuality affects every woman so I don't doubt lesbians who have slept with men to be homosexual.
I don't use the term "gold star" nor do I care about someone's sexual history but it's primarily used in the gay community to prove "how gay they are", especially with lesbians, because a lot of women who call themselves "lesbian" aren't lesbian at all. Much of the vitriol is targeted at bi women because they are believed to prioritize heterosexual relationships. Many lesbians have personally experienced bi women playing around with their emotions and only using them for fun because they would never get into a serious relationship with another woman.
I'm open to dating a bi woman and I quite like some of them but I do get annoyed with bi women who call themselves "lesbian" or claim to understand the lesbian experience even though their sexual attraction to men makes it impossible for any lesbian to relate.
this specially if her ex was a moid
Also someone who is a full on "yandere" or someone who wants you to show her your phone 24/7 (or tries to snoop in to your stuff) avoid at all costs!
If it's a moid it isn't a real lesbian, stop with this insecure shit
An actual lesbian is super likely to get back with a recent ex or a long term ex. Happens all the time during ghostings too.
Yep! Totally thought I'm asexual for 2 years of my teen life. I even came out to my friend as an asexual bi-romantic or something like that.
But no, I'm just a lesbian with a low sex drive.
AYRT I also had intense feelings for my best friend that I didn't recognize as more than friendship and felt incredibly betrayed when she got (a very ugly /r9k/ type) boyfriend. >>132281
I also experienced CSA and wondered if that's why I'm a lesbian, but actually I think CSA made it harder for me to realize I liked women because I associated sex with negativity and pain and didn't connect those concepts to other girls. I also really struggled with worrying that I was in some way hurting women by being sexually attracted to them because being lusted after by grown men was very scary. Things are better now though and I have a really amazing girlfriend who helps me through my PTSD and always supports me.
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Sorry if it's a stupid question, but I have no one to talk about this.
How do I know if I'm a lesbian or bisexual?
Sex with guys was never exciting but I never did it with girls…
What is your preferred material to shlick to?
Erotica, fanart of women,let them be orc women or human woman, and
(good) fanfics for me because i'm forever an autistic nerd.>>132284
I realized after dating one single guy and kissing him tbh. It felt wrong. I could shlick to fanfics with anime men in it but it also felt weird when i passed 15yo and had my first girlfriend. And as it went,i just couldn't imagine being in a loving relationship with a man without getting goosebumps,and thinking about IRL sex with one grossed me out too, even trying to fantasize about it made me feel dirty.
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Where can you find beautiful erotic photos of women that aren't obviously by and for men or from the porn industry?
I get you, anon. I recently saw an acquaintance without makeup on for the first time I was genuinely shocked by how stunning she is (she's a makeup pro). I really hate the current makeup trend of stage/drag makeup on women because it's so unflattering and cakey. I also dislike the conspicuous consumerism that dominates the makeup community and I wouldn't be able to put up with that in a relationship. >>132295
I met my gf on Tinder! We matched and I put off meeting her for months because I felt so out of her league, but she really pursued me! When we finally went out everything just clicked and we pretty much have spent 80% of our time together ever since! We definitely u-hauled kek and I can't imagine life without her now. She's literally everything I ever dreamed of when I fantasized about my future and I can't believe I'm so lucky.
That's a really cute story, I'm happy for you anon!>>132298
Someone asked admin to save this thread once /2X/ gets archived and she said yes, so I think we safe.
This is gonna be a bit of a vent, I like being a lesbian, I really do, but I've experienced a lot of traumatic shit because of it. I was badly abused by my family because of it, lost jobs, faced discrimination in college, was shunned out of my church, and most of entire family. I'm nearly middle aged now, and have a stable life in spite of all that shit in my past but still I'm alone amd I just don't have on outgoing personality, I have a couple of great guy friends, as per my interests are bit more male-dominated but… I would like to have at least one girlfriend or even just one female friend
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Filing for divorce tomorrow… for a long time I thought I was a narcissist or sociopath or just someone incapable of love, I finally understood who I was after a few months of soul searching. There were so many signs, notably the fantasizing and hooking up with girls since high school. Wearing boys clothes and my best friends yelling at me for it. Finding men physically repulsive. And every single one just went right over my head.
I do love my husband. There was never a doubt. Even if ur not attracted to a person you can love them deeply. Like the love you have for your mother or sister or cousin or child. and I think that's why It tooke me so long to come out, Having to hurt the person you love the most and made a promise to isn't easy, I do wish it didn't have to be this way but we both deserve beteer
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Welcome to the club, nonny
! That was really brave of you!
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>>132303>I do love my husband. There was never a doubt. >Also you think you're a lesbian
how are you in love with someone who you're not ever capable of being attracted to ?
Good luck, anon! It feels so liberating to finally be able to like and love who you really want.>>132305
She said she loves him like a sibling or cousin or child, not that she's in love with him.
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I want to wear matching clothes with a cute girl and take stupid pics together
You just sound just like a friend of mine anon, she had awful experiences with girls in high school (abusive
) and her second GF was also abusive
, but to a lesser extent. She's now dating a guy and I always wonder if its because of her bad experiences before. I'm not in her brain obviously but she identified as a lesbian, never bi, until I guess now. I don't have any great advice for you but I really hope you find a cute, nice girl. Maybe some actual lesbians can give you advice, and not just me, friend of lesbian.
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Tbh when I saw >>132325
post, thought the same thing. Always freaking weeb clothes and/or striped socks.
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For the first time ever in my life, I have a Valentine! …and potential GF, but it isn't official yet. She's coming over to my place to cook dinner for us for Valentines and I'm just so happy and excited and so, so nervous. Wish me luck, anons.
are you sexually attracted to guys?
are you sexually attracted to girls?
yes? you're bi.
don't overthink it anon
Sounds like you are bi but men have just been shitty to you so you're cautious around them
I'm bi but my disliking of men (based on shitty exes) makes me wish I was lesbian. Would make life simpler lol
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wow thank you for posting this i relate so hard… i keep coming out to people as "bi" even though i know i will never ever experience romantic or sexual attraction to a guy… it just seems easier to pretend like im still "normal" which is so fucked up to say… wish i had any advice for you (and myself lol) but i dont. idk i hope itll get better with time…
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What am I if I'm a virgin and don't like the idea of sex? I've dated more women than men, and all the gfs I had I actually loved. They only ended from the other side or because they'd cheated. My bfs I dated because I felt bad they liked me but I broke up with all them. I can get off to the idea of gay or straight sex. I find men cute I guess if they look nice physically but not in a 'let's fuck' way. Women I find beautiful and maybe if I really loved her I wouldn't mind trying something sexual. Always labeled myself bisexual because I don't hold a large disgust towards men. They just arent someone I want to end up with as my long term partner. I think I'm also scared if I was lesbian rather than bi my family would disown me. My parents always shit talked gay couples and called them its, things, a gross spectacle.
Tbh that's what I was worried about after my last gf sent a long article of attributes in lesbians. I'm probably too scared to come out due to family. Also the amount of men who weasel into lesbian only spaces to begin with. Thinking the right dick will turn them around.>>133382
Maybe, I had some sexual abuse as a kid that still haunts me a bit. Sort of a fear of being completely vulnerable and open while naked. My mom also found out I was watching a lesbian show a while back. She immediately threw insults like crotch munchers, scissoring, how unnatural it is. That sat in my mind for a while blocking intimacy with that gf.
I'm in a similar situation where homophobic parents and childhood sexual abuse aren't helping me figure out what I am exactly. Are you able to access therapy that'll deal with the abuse?
> She immediately threw insults like crotch munchers, scissoring, how unnatural it is
Ah yes, cos sucking on a penis is so godly, beautiful and natural lol
Not really and I have bigger issues right now in terms of time/bills to deal with. I'm probably just a lesbian who's hard closeted by herself.
Also kek not sure why I hadn't thought of that
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Sorry if this sounds extra dumb, but I have kinda the same doubts as >>133905
and something else: whenever I’m around a girl I consider attractive/beautiful, it’s like my brain freezes?? Sometimes I feel completely worthless of even being close to her.
I don’t know if this is a result of the bullying I suffered on middle school (when other girls would call me names and other stuff and I felt like an insect around them). Even though I know I’m considered attractive to men, I’m afraid of not being cute to girls? It’s a very strange feeling, I hate it. How do I feel more confident around other girls and stop having war flashbacks from my days of middle school?
I'm on the verge of pulling the trigger
myself. I hope I am able to go through with it once the stupid virus crisis is over and I have money saved up to leave this relationship.
do you see men romantically or do you just feel like having sex with them?
if you hate men like the anons in the pink pill thread it's hard to not feel disgusted by them too
You must be lesbian then.
I remember my lesbian friend telling me she could find men handsome but in the same way we think a statue is beautiful with no sexual attraction whatsoever.
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Thank you for answering ! My two favorite era in fashion are the 1940's and the late victorian era. If I set my hair the night before ( like 5 times a week ) I will go out with something like the girl on the left, if it's cold outside and I want to be comfy, I will wear something inspired by the victorian era like the girl on the right ( if you take off the glasses it's exactly the look I have, especially the awkard pose and smile).
I don't own any normal clothes anymore, vintage clothes are very confortable. To be honest, I feel like the only thing that's holding me back to go crazier with perfect historical accuracy is money and time.
So now my question is, if you saw me on a dating site, would you be scared lol ? Would you at least try to talk to me or the clothes would be red flag ?
I don't know of it's intersting to add this but I live in a country where historical reenactment is really rare. Also the lady on the left is Karolina Żebrowska and the women on the right is Bernadette Banner, feels bad taking their image without crediting
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I love vintage fashion so it would be really cool to meet a woman who dresses like that.
It's a gamble because you will attract women who are into the same things as you but others might find it too off-putting.
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Hey thank you both for answering>>135049
I totally understand, people do stare a lot and I wouldn't want my girlfriend to be uncomfortable in public because of me ! Thank you for being honest and answering me anon !>>135050
Omg who are you ? I've litteraly never met a lesbian who liked this style, that's a really nice comment, you are giving me hope !
(the meme is just a joke about the situation a friend sent to me one day)
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Well I'm bi and European.
Adèle Haenel looked dreamy in her blue cape in "Portrait of a lady on fire"…
No. Everyone just kind of dresses normally here. Some more fashionably/on trend than others sure, but you very rarely see people dressed in "weird" things like goth or vintage. The amount of times I've seen a goth can be counted on one hand.
I don't think subcultures with a big emphasise on fashion live as strongly here as they seem to do in different parts of the world. I think it's funny you said "Do you not have friends who're part of a subculture" as if that's normal or common. Maybe it is where you are? It's not here. All my friends just dress normally.
Oh wow, where do you live anon?
Im from a pretty backwards place but even then being goth or dressing vintage isn't super strange, someone might talk to you and compliment or ask questions but i've never been looked too weird or harassed for dressing not on trend.
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this movie was so beautiful, i cried a lot watching it, and yes so many beautiful capes! I'm also from europe, I really hope you are not having too much trouble in your country!>>135066
thank you so much ! 60's and 70's are so cool! What are your style inspo? Are you currently doing a sewing project? I would love to know more ! ( sorry I get overexited about sewing lol )
>>135037>is it weird my so-called lesbian friends are making out and having sex with men
Yeah, they're just bi lmao.
Related, I wonder why do so many bi women claim to be lesbians? Is it a way to turn on men? To appear more special? What's wrong with just admitting you're bi? I wish they stopped doing it, because this way men are even more inclined to keep harrassing you after you tell them you're a lesbian, since "See, there are lesbians that have sex with men, you must like dick after all"
I think it is the bisexuals are sluts stereotype and some women hate men so they can be ashamed of being attracted to them. But sure I wish people would not do this as it hurts actual lesbians and strenghtens the belief that only lesbians seriosly date women and bi women only want sex and date men.>>135079
Also more masculine women can feel more comfortable identifying as lesbians because they have this butch/femme thing. Straight and bi girls are always expected to be feminine.
I honestly think you may be an outlier in this situation. I second the question, where do you live?
Idk about the vintage clothes OP, but if she lives in Poland (I'm guessing from the second photo), people staring shouldn' be a big issue (unless she in a tiny village). Plenty of subcultures and feminine vintage clothing is hardly controversial (especially like the first example). I imagine OP getting a lot of compliments.
TBH it seems sad for me to throw away a chance for a friend or a gf because random people may stare (assuming this is the only 'isssue' and you are compatible ofc), but you do you.
I reply very late but all your inspirations are super interesting ( seems like you have great taste in music too ! ) I didn't know about the GTO's so I went on a rabbit hole to learn more about them, thank you very much for making me discover them ! I really like Zapa, so it was nice to learn about a group he has produced ! I totally relate to the crush on Janis Joplin lol, she has the cutest smile!
Your futur dress sounds so cool! I had to do sleeve in lace once and I remember the pain, so I'm sending you all my courage for that part! I'm sure it's going to look great! I'm going to come home soon so I will finally have access to my sewing machine, I hope that you will also be able to create and have some fun during the quarantine too and that you are not risking your health because you are forced to work in contact with people.
NTA but dressing like that'd definitely make ppl stare in any big city in North and South America
I think it'd be more acceptable in Europe and Asia
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Anyone else find butches annoying/embarrassing? Not sure if I'm being autistic and letting my femxfem preference shine through, but the butch always seems like a caricature of what they think a man should be like, if that makes sense? it's so exaggerated. >>132206
Yes, and I'm glad you pointed it out. Seems like the ones that like to flirt are often taken already. as well. (not to mention the constant sexual comments from bi girls with boyfriends).
It makes me distrust most lesbians who make romantic suggestions towards me because I feel as though they're just being social/polite. It's more often seen in online groups than irl imo.
Like they give you secondhand embarrassment?
I like butch women but I got secondhand embarrassment around one lately because I thought she was forcing her voice to sound deeper and being exaggerated in sitting like a man etc, It just felt too put on.. in general though I have a preference for butch women if it's naturally who they are and doesn't come off as a performance. I probably fit the soft butch label myself.
yea, like you said, it feels too put on. Butch women who are comfortable with who they are are great, but the ones that go for the stereotypical "I'm presenting as butch therefore I need to dress and act like one" gets old real quick.. It doesn't seem genuine.
Soft butch is the best butch, they always look comfy :)
I know some lesbians who have celebrity crushes for male actors/musicians. They wouldn’t touch a real man but like the character.
I was once, a very long time ago, a baby lesbian too womdering if I’m ”gay enough”. There is some people who want to prove the world they are the purest most vagina loving lesbo ever. But when your identity has formed to stable adulthood those labels don’t seem so crucial
thank you so much for responding. i guess i'm bothered because i'm out to everyone in my life as a lesbian and the thought of having to come out a second time as bisexual makes me really uncomfortable, since they'd think i actually like men, which i don't, which i guess means i'm not bisexual. so straightforward now i think about it! >>135802
i posted him in the unconvential male attractions thread a few days ago haha, jg thirlwell. crazy talented and creative composer, somehow only improves over the decades.
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Anon, if pussy doesn't turn you on in some capacity, you're not gay you're straight especially considering the fact that most straight women have some form of crush on other women it's completely natural as women can be quite enigmatic and beautiful however this doesn't make you gay.
If the thought of spending your life (sexually & romantically) with another woman doesn't give you butterflies then i wouldn't ponder your sexuality too much. Oh and for the record most straight women loathe men on an emotional basis, it's just seems to be a thing with you guys.
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My favorite lesbian movie is Kamikaze Girls.
I know this is a couple days old but this is one the main issues I take issue with butches, I also hate the forced wanna be tough shtick
like seriously not wearing make up, being obese and watching porn doesn't sound make you tough, like I had an ex butch gf who was like this
like she couldn't accept that I could out-lifted her, cause I actually went to the gym while she sat at home all day watching tv
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Dealing with horny lez gremlins is a chore sometimes
What are lez gremlins?>>136388
In an ideal world where gender roles weren't a thing, I'd say having a sissy kink w men is straight. But there are some lesbians who cope with their closetedness by finding subconscious loopholes in their sexuality to live it out with men in straight relationships.
Comphet is a huge obstacle and I wouldn't rule out being gay simply bc of the world we live in today. I'd say look into some comphet resources before settling on being hetero.
late, but I feel you anon. The absolute worst date I've ever been on with my life was with this super masc skinhead bulldyke type girl. She looked cute, but spent the entire time bragging about how many bar fights she'd been in, about carrying a switchblade (and showed it to me in a public place, though carrying those is illegal in my country), talking about how "women shouldn't curse" when I swore in front of her (and when I pointed out "but you're a woman too and you swear a lot" she just said "oh, its different though") and just saying all these things that seemed like a caricature of what a lesbian is supposed to be like. She was a friend of an older friend that I had had a crush on since my early teen years and she used to be really rude to me until I became an adult and grew boobs and I guess suddenly became worthy of her attention, but I never texted/called her back after that terrible date. She also kept talking about this girl she had recently dated and saying a lot of terrible misogynistic things about her, it made me realise that even if i had been attracted to her and gone home with her that she'd probably have just talked like that about me to her next girl. Overall I like masc girls because I find them attractive, but I'd prefer someone that doesn't try quite so hard to act the living embodiment of a stereotype and doesn't act so rudely in public.
The ideal girl for me is definitely someone butch/masc in appearance, but gentle and normal in personality and for whom the "manly" thing doesn't seem so forced and cringey.
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Had a dream where a male friend of mine was going to ask a female friend of mine out, and i got really jealous and upset in the dream. i have never looked at her in that way in all my life but when i woke up i started doubting myself wondering if i have a crush on my dear friend of more than 10 years. really hoping this goes away once the effect of the dream wears off because she's engaged lmao
Which characters do you find him attractive playing?
I’m questioning my sexuality (and gender, but thats for another thread) a lot lately. I’d say I’d describe myself as a lesbian, but I can’t tell if my lack of attraction to men is due to my second boyfriend passing away a few years ago. As a kid I was always very fixated on women and femininity, I can cite my first crushes always back to other girls in my class (especially a tall girl in my first grade class named Megan) or adult women, I’d be so enamored with them and not know whether I wanted to be them or be with them. The attraction and relationships I have had with men have been incredibly circumstantial, my first kiss was with a boy that I broke the arm of for taking a toy from me on the playground, and my next one was the following year with my best friend at the time. I told her it was my first because it felt like it was. My first boyfriend I started dating mostly because he wore a skirt / kilt to school every day and would have violent outbursts that caught my eye, and my mother’s abuse towards me increased after I attempted to come out as a lesbian by dating my first girlfriend the previous summer. It was my first year of highschool and I was desperate to do anything that was going to put me back on the right side of things in my mothers eyes especially since we live in the south and were a strict religious family. In a long story short you can guess that he didnt treat me well, and after a year of drug induced experiences leading to me being hit and screamed at by someone other than my mother for once, that led to being introduced to a grown man who was a serial rapist to “teach me a lesson” and sequentially raped me that year, i took quite a long period of sexual abstinence and having a few romantic flings here and there with women. When I turned 17 I started doing sex work because I was so detached from my body and genitals that I figured, whats the worst that could happen? A lot is the worst that can happen. To make a long story short, I ended up seeing too many men to count through this period of time and dissociating heavily because of it, just not caring what happened to myself, eventually falling back into drug habits I fought so long to kick. I met my last boyfriend through a day job I had, he helped me quit sex work for good and see that there are good men out there but that I’m definitely not attracted to them sexually or romantically, I loved him more than I can conceive and he did more for me than any person on or off this planet but I could not feel the way any ex girlfriend or even girls I’d develop crushes on made me feel. TLDR,Does attraction boil down to just how you feel towards people? or after a certain point / “body count”, do your sexual actions define your sexuality? I personally feel confident in my developing identity and in calling myself a lesbian (especially after having it used against me so much growing up and even as a woman attracted adult), but do other lesbians feel animosity towards people like me identifying as lesbians? sorry for big blog post this has just been on my mind a lot lately.
Anon above me is part of the answer you seek. Yes, some lesbians will judge you if you tell them your experiences, and I’d honestly wouldn’t care, you don’t really need that kind of toxicity in your life.
It sounds to me that you already know you’re a lesbian, exploring your sexuality does not make you any less lesbian if you feel like you’re attracted only to woman.
I hope you get through your bad experiences and heal, Anon, and also find a loving and understanding gf.
Apparently. Condolences to the anon who spilled her heart and got told to fuck off. >>138343>>138344
It's the way you say it, retard. God is this bait?? What the fuck am I reading, ugh! I can't wait till you leave this board.
See? Damn I thought there would be camaraderie in here but I guess if you don't fill out Lesbian Attributes A, B, and C, you're a moron and not allowed to define yourself.
Have some fucking empathy, god damn.
Imagine telling gay men to stop gatekeeping because they don't want to deal with bi-shit men / larpers.
You look stupid. Stop.
Yeah, you go girl.
Anyone can be a lesbian if they want to. You, your father, your friends, your pets. Spread the word. Also, don't forget to buy our $9.99 LGBTQ+ badge. >>138341
I'm sorry to see you're hurting hun. Don't listen to those bullies. You're a beautiful human bean and you're heckin valid
. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Anon sweetie, Ignore all of these annoying gold stars that ruin the L in LBGT because they automatically assume that in this hetronormative life we all live that if any woman felt that they were forced to be with men that they're not valid
. Your upbringing is actually very standard for most women growing up as a lesbian, getting in to horrible toxic
relation ships with men is very common and furthers the confusion of finding your sexuality. I'm thankful that you were willing to share your story with us since so many young girls are currently dealing with similar situations (hopefully not to the extent of SW) and if they find this thread I hope that they realize that even if they have been with men it doesn't make them any less of a lesbian. >>138365>>138370>>138373>>138375
Jesus fucking Christ Shut the fuck up. Goldstar is bullshit and all you do is make young lesbians feel like shit because the're socially forced to date men. She literally stated that her mother was abusive
and she lives in the South in America where there's still murders of gay women. Not every one has the privilege of being able to safely be out and proud.
Fuck off with your reddit validating shit. I'm one of those anons that you addressed and I live in the slavlands. Lots of people have sob stories. Just because it's not socially acceptable to be a lesbian doesn't mean you need to hop from one dick to another.
I mean, she can but every lesbian has the right to judge her however she pleases. So you and someone else might not find it a big deal, I just wouldn't be able to get over that fact. I'd rather stay alone.
I'm sick of bisexual women having a short term crush or just a slight attraction to a woman and immediately going for the lesbian label when there's no harm in being a bisexual. Lesbians are barely being taken seriously by anyone as it is and it's partly thanks to LGBT media being so inclusive and promoting the idea that anyone can be anything if they want to and people like you completely ignoring the point of sexual attraction. I didn't choose to be born like this and it's not a passing feeling for me like it's not for so many actual lesbians. If you're seriously triggered
by the fact that a lot of lesbians don't want to date women who have a long (voluntary) history with men, then I suspect you're not a lesbian either. Make a bisexual inclusive thread so no one's feelings get hurt. I can't believe it's always the same story. The only thing that's lacking is couples looking for a threesome and a few transbians thrown into the mix.
You're so close-minded. Sad. >>138426
They literally are tho, they just won't call it what it is. Are you slow?>>138370
I would do that, if I gave a fuck.(infighting)
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Speaking of goldstar, why is it an issue anyway?
Like, if some lesbians were lucky enough to figure out they weren't interested in men from the very start, why not be happy about it?
It's kind of sad that anything related to goldstar lesbian is thrown in a pejorative context and despite it being a term that refers to both gay men and lesbians, most of the attack is directed towards lesbians as per usual.
The argument is that it supposedly distinguishes between "purer" lesbians and those that are less pure, but that's mainly because the other side projects that. My guess is that the rise of bashing goldstar lesbians is due to it being transphobic.
yeah I think you are guessing right anon. lgbt people are obssesed with inclusivity for the better an the worse.
Also what the fuck is "cissexist", I've never heard it before, I must be getting old
cissexist is I think the fact that one judges the other person based on their genitalia. For example, in that article thinking that people who have dicks are men is bad and very backwards which makes it easy to understand why the lgbt crowd dislikes any form of purism i.e. being a gold star lesbian.
I wonder what other terms await us in the 2020s.
Only it doesn't?
Being a lesbian means that it should be normal to say that you didn't have sex with men. Like I said, it invalidates because you're projecting.
Why is it normal for gay men to never have sex with women but for lesbians it seems like a problematic
issue to have never had sex with men?
Since this seems to be a sensitive topic, I won't bother asking further. It's a shame because I think it's an interesting subject and related to how the society doesn't take lesbians seriously.
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Why do girls on tinder always ghost me
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I just need to vent.
I hit it off with this girl before the corona shitstorm but before things could get serious, our university closed and we had to move home. She lives in a neighbouring country and with the borders closed, there was no way to see each other. We kept up over the phone but I'm not too good at that so sometimes I wasn't the best conversation partner… I did notice that I was catching feelings but since we couldn't see each other and I had some other stuff to worry about, I kind of pushed it out of my mind.
Now she's told me that she's dropping out of our uni to pursue a different degree in her home country, so we probably won't see each other ever again. Welp.
I'm still hoping she'll tell me once she's back in our country, moving out stuff from her dorms so I can see her again and fuck her (although that would probably make my feelings stronger so idk, a girl can dream tho right)
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same anon, I matched with a bunch of girls and always texted first, they straight up don't reply or expect you to carry the whole conversation, I got so bored and angry that I deleted it. fuck anybody that says dating women is easy.
anyways, I have been really conflicted lately about my gender presentation, I want to be masculine but i'm scared of being treated like a butch (with all the weird heteronormative expectations) and somedays I want to doll myself up but i'm absolutely disgusted by the men that stare at me and approach me.
not like wearing masculine clothes and having short hair it's going to stop them, I KNOW, but I feel more secure doing so
any anons have this conflict as well? I wish people would see the current me as androgynous but I don't know if that's the impression i give or i'm just projecting hard my wishes into reality
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i get incredibly annoyed when i see men co-opting lesbian art/photography. i absolutely love this image, because it was drawn by a woman, and i like death grips (lol) but i fucking hate that they used this image for an album. am i autistic?
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I will never meet a cute woman who has her shit together and wants to form a powercouple with me.
I mean there is a slight chance I might but 100% I will fuck it up again
I was wondering "Am I still a virgin?" after we did that for a few days. I made her cum the first two times thru her panties and the third time I fingered her. I came to the conclusion that since nothing was done to ME (I didn't want it), I was still a virgin that just fooled around like the straights do.
Since then I let her touch me in all ways so I don't consider myself a virgin anymore.
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nta and am latvian kek, homophobia is just kinda widespread even in the younger generations here, don't mind her. i get what you mean with the feeling like a creepy man while approaching women, i relate and i think think it's part of the reason why i don't have any very close female friends anymore since realising i am bi,
it just feels like i am a wolf in sheeps clothing and I can't be fully myself and as close as i would like to be. I do realise its just my internal bs, my friends being eastern european and upbringing (re: start of the sentence)
I wouldn't mind so long as you're cute. My current girlfriend is weebtrash and too bad it's long distance otherwise we'd totally go on dates in weird asf outfits and enjoying being cute misfits together.
also I really hate it when guys hit on me. Makes me want to go grab a fork and gouge their eyes out. And it's like no I didn't look your way you fucking filthy pig. Makes me so angry thinking about it
Hey, thank you for being nice. This was really making me feel like shit.
Of course I still eat her out, I may not enjoy it as much as she does doing it, but I do it cause I want her to feel good and I love her. I like your idea of lubes, I may try different ones.>>142582
As I said, she doesn't smell. I'm pretty sure her taste is just normal vagina taste. I just don't love it and don't find it very sexy to be down there..
Yeah, me neither. I mean, I have online but I haven't met them and they're too far anyway.
Thanks though. Maybe one day…
They exist, my country has a conservative lesbian politician, but imo I don't understand why you would want to align yourself with a group that don't want you and at best will only see your as "one of the good ones".
Still, your kind do exist so you should be able to find one
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Can 80% bisexual leaning gay women post here?
I kinda have regrets about marrying at such a young age but my husband is the only man I have ever had sexual relations with
I grew up in a conservative country so I was never free to explore my homosexual side
I dont know why but I still feel supremely drawn to the idea of dating a woman and getting to know her
Feeling comfortable with each other to take things further sexually
Thing is I absolutely love my husband and feel like we are supremely compatible personality wise
It just always feels like something is missing in the romantic/sexual department which I am attributing to my gayness
Every few months/years of me denying my homolust makes me seek out lesbians to talk to hoping someone can understand and give me answers
Hell I'm doing it right now and for what I think is absolutely no reason because I should be 100% happy with what I have
Not knowing yourself fully and exploring it is true suffering
Oh and this is my latest waifu just so you girls have some eyecandy
I will always love women more than guys but never got to experience it
Thing is, like you, I love my boyfriend immensely and we're so compatible, just feel like maybe I'd be better off as a lesbian?
But I'm fine right where I am.
Eh I keep going back and forth on how I feel overall about my husband and our relationship>>145630
Care to elaborate anon?
said. Make a bi thread if you wanna talk about, well, being bi.
If you fuck men and even have a husband this is not a thread for you. Simple as that.
idk you can dump your husband if you want to be with a woman so much. or suggest him to open your relationship. if he isn't extremely conservative or staunchly monogamous he'll probably accept your offer and won't even be jealous if you promise to not fuck other men.
your generic big tiddy goth waifu is trash btw
It's pretty shit if they're judging you for 'shock horror' coming out in your early twenties after dating a guy first. I mean it's not unheard of.
I have two ex bfs, sex and attraction was incredibly lacking with both of them, I got two totally different reactions from them when I came out. One thought I was making it up purely to humiliate him.. The other was actually the most understanding person when I came out because he could really see all the signs in hindsight. Your guy might be taking the first reaction and may be appealing to the friendgroup for support?
used to think i was "panromantic asexual" = attracted to women and hypothetically in super specific situations would consider romantically being with a dude but absolutely no sex/physical intimacy
turns out i was just in denial about only liking women and considered myself ace because i was 15 lol
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I downloaded HER app on a whim and started talking to a girl I instantly had chemistry with and now we're going to see each other next week. I feel so stupid because I have a boyfriend and I identify as bi but I'm also unsure about my attraction to men. I love my boyfriend and he's my best friend but I feel a sexual void and discomfort sometimes. I just wish I could know for sure so I can forget about it all it keeps me up at night and it's bothering me. At this point I feel like I've been questioning since 15 and I don't know what to do or who to even tell. If my family found out I would be disowned. I feel so terrible for what I'm doing but I just want to stop second guessing everything about sex because I keep looking at women and thinking about women and it makes me feel like a pervert. I've never looked at men in that way, I do find my boyfriend attractive and I can tolerate his dick but I don't love it. I'm scared that if I don't figure this out right now I'll be in my 40s or married and it'll be worse.
I don't know what to do and I'm scared my boyfriend will be upset if I bring anything up about questioning my sexuality because he knows I'm bisexual.
Anon, this is the lesbian thread. Bisexual thread is in the catalog.
When are they going to learn, smh
We're not married I just don't want to lose him and ruin everything I just felt really confused it's just been texting and chatting like friends but I feel it's gotten way too far and I feel terrible. I don't want to fuck up if I'm wrong but I sincerely do not know. >>146875
I'm questioning, I don't know if I'm really bi at all but I'm out as bi to less than a handful of people.
If he as a male is not enough to turn you on, and you want to be with a woman that badly… anon, you're probably gay.
You could try to open up the relationship, but good luck finding a woman willing to date a woman with a husband lol.
Look I fully accept that men do nothing for me and that I am attracted to most women I see irl
I have tried everything to get turned on by my husband. Even convincing him to dress up as a girl to trick my brain somewhat but it doesnt work
I dont want to think sex is important because I do love him
Yes there are times I feel like a psychopath for not loving him as much as I say I do
But whenever I think about being without him I get tearful at the thought
I've always said this to myself as a teenager but if the lesbian dating scene wasnt so tiny I would easily just date women
Imo a life of at least having a partner is better than being forever alone
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Some sexual content for you lovely ladies
Anyone know what kinda nail varnish she's got on?
I like the "no nail varnish" look it has
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It looks like one of those milky nude nailpolishes, like essie's ballet slippers for example (pic related)
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So if I’m understanding this correctly.. if I’m not attracted to penises thennn I’m homosexual?
Hi—I’m gonna spill a lot of incoherent 3 am thoughts here….(sorry in advance if it’s a bother/usually lc lurker too)…bc quarantine has allowed me to reflect over my life/myself. I’m turning 21 soon and sooo I’ve been struggling with my sexuality for a minute. I’m a virgin and a kiss-virgin. I was raised in a Christian household (with my parent’s toxic marriage) and basically suppressed any sort of desire to be in a romantic relationship—>and then also being sexually active, since I was 12. My parents don’t approve of homosexual relationships at all, they’re probably homophobic, but they don’t act outwardly hateful. I mean my mom was friends with like a butch lesbian turned FTM when I was in elementary school. But for sure they’d be heartbroken/disgusted maybe(?) if I ever came out as gay to them. I mean I randomly wrote a poem about my ex-best friend in 5th grade. Proudly showed it to my mom and she got mad saying it sounded like a lover’s poem since I was describing her flowy hair and personality similarly to the way you’d write like a love letter in the 1700s. Hm, I guess I’ve always yearned for a deep bond with another girl since I could remember. Speaking of 12 years old, that was when I first ever got sexually aroused—and it was to boob cleavage. Oh man, I remember blushing at lingerie photos and trying to take mental pictures to think about at night ahhha yikes. I’d blush whenever id talk to an adult with a v-cut shirt. I also have this attraction?(I guess) with like women’s arms. Plushy soft but somewhat firm arms are so inviting and comforting, it just makes me smile whenever they sling(?) an arm around my shoulders… It’s a bit odd I know.
Anyway, anyway… I’m a bit confused because I don’t think I’ve been sexually attracted to any man before (As in, the desire to engage in sex) the idea of a masculin figure leering over me and just being too close for too long.. repulses me a bit? But I have experienced liking some guys’ faces and voices before. That’s the thing! I seem to be attracted to their voices and faces (especially if they’re a
androgynous) BUUUT their anatomy/wanting to kiss/intercouse is just a big “no way, not interested” for me. Ah. I have this memory… in middle or high school, forgot, a grade-mate was visibly “rubbing” himself at me during lunchtime and I was disgusted and angry. My friends told me I should of felt flattered but I was revolted. Anytime a guy (which mind you, was only around 3 times—apparently I’m bit intimidating haha whoops) showed an active interest in me I would become cold towards them. I just didn’t want to pursue any sort of relationship them. I was only driven to admire and have fluttery feelings when watching the pretty ones exist near me in class until I would eventually lose interest. Hah I remember reading articles about “how to woo a woman/girl as a guy” so I could get a leg up and pick up on hints If a guy would make moves on me. Looking back now, I seemed to just have like getting the initial attention from guys but then I would always wave them off. (Currently, I don’t give a fuck about men and their thoughts.) At one point, I’d counsel my friends whenever they’d ask me for relationship advice since I always seemed disinterested in dating and was sensible/“seemed mature” (I’m glad I helped some of gals avoid scummy boys tho) It was hard to relate to the constant boy talk because they’d gush about abs and biceps and butts and I would laugh while feeling confused and say what’s so sexy about a stomach?? To my knowledge noone was gay in my schools (well, nobody publicly identified) since I went to Christian secondary schools.
I remember crying & feeling dirty at Christian camp because I felt like a fuckup since there was a high possibility that I was into girls. yeaahhh bad times.
Now as for girls, at 13 I was taught that ”boo boo baba bah beee homosexuality is bad bad bad!!” Annnd immediately, I got scared and I sort of mentally blocked myself in a way. I veered off and got into male x male erotica material—mostly audio/reading. (lol but w/w didn’t appeal to me tho!?) While I was ashamed to be even delving into erotic stuff, I thought it would make me into guys since it only focused on guys. Logic 101–weeeeirdest path I’ve ever took and to this day idk what exactly peeked this interest. But one thing I’ve been adamant in is my repulsion to penises. seigneur—that shit looks gross. They look like protruding alien-ish worms. Even worst in their flaccid state. I appreciate nudity in sculpture and painting but haaaaate the prescence of dicks. I don’t think I ever want to be touched by one. Let alone have one in my MOUTH. Vaginas are generally neutral to me. Ive felt like creep for always starting at bums/legs and woman’s body shapes for the longest time. But I credited it to insecurity or just thought I did this to avoid “sinful lust of men” but nah it’s because guys’ bodies just didn’t do it for me. I’ve had some crushes on girls/classmates before but quick dismissed them as something else. Plus as I got older I sort of became a loner and most of the girls around me.. ignored me since I didn’t share hobbies/interests. My schools’ student population was always on the smaller side so not a large pool of personalities. Kinda feel sad about this tbh. Irl I tend to get attracted to girls who go for like the natural look— almost reminiscent of the late 60s-ish…have a bold but silent type of personality, and who are like strong gentle giants. Lol. But I remember getting the hot hots for scully in the x files, and Jodie forster’s voice in Contact. I watched Elizabeth debicki in that one cloverfield movie last summer and I’ve never crushed so hard. My heart felt like it was going crazy that night and lead me to seriously question my sexuality.
Now that I think about it, I’ve never pictured being married to a guy. Even my sibling told me that she could never picture me in a typical relationship and that stuck with me. I’m okay with thought of being a single old lady too. But eh..Sucks I repressed/suppressed? my original feelings throughout my teens tbh. maybe I would of been into dating a lot sooner. experiencing some serious fomo atm.
Idk how I feel about sex in general. Whenever I’d fantasize or whatever, I’m just never in my fantasies/it’s made up people. Like me being sensual is kinda uncomfortable…Actually I’m a bit scared of it…period? I’m okay with the thought of cuddling and snuggling. But closer intimacy is daunting. I also feel super guilty and shitty for thinking that gay sex in general isn’t “real sex” since the intended genitalia aren’t being united. I could blame my religious upbringing for that kinda thought I guess…or not.
Scream at me my dudes and tell me what’s up with me. That is if I’m even worth the read lol. Honestly sorry guys for this text column, I didn’t think it’d be this long.
Anyway, I hope to begin my romantic chapter in my life and pursue a lovely relationship with a woman post quarantine/pandemic. I think that in my heart it’s what I want? I just hope to find an understanding and patient(?) partner
I hope my English was error free ladies it’s late where I am atm.
Thank you I appreciate your response, I really hope so too!
Oh totally! My younger sib has always been on the tomboy side (I'm also suspicious of her sexuality since we both never showed active interest in guys haha), and we've both agreed that we would accept/love our hypothetical children if they ever came out to us. Idk about my older sibs though.
>>149614>im 1000% a lesbian but-
no you are not, you are bi, sorry. Jfc what's up with everyone trying to be seen as a lesbian when they're not? You realize bi women who are mostly into women but still have some residual attraction to men exist and are as valid
as lesbians and there is nothing wrong with that, do you? You still can prioritize relationships with women without lying to yourself. Believe me, its just the healthiest for everyone. >>149621
No. In this day and age when you stay in a marriage with a man for years, have several kids with him and don't take any chance to leave you are not a lesbian. Even if she may have not been attracted to him sexually she probably has been attracted to him in some other way, and its still attraction to men. And when she's trying to meet and date lesbians, she should make clear her sexuality because I can understand some lesbians just don't want to put up with the children of some random dude, otherwise you are scamming people from their time. It's not the same as a bi or a brainwashed lez who was in a marriage by mistake and gets a divorce in a few months or after one or two years and has stayed childless.
I'm early thirties and while it has taken me a while to get away from an oppressive family and community.. I'm now ready to date but the only options I see on apps are way too young for me (I missed out on my fun gay youth but I'm sure as hell not going to be that creep dating 10 years younger to make up for it) Or I get women my age with the baggage of several kids and a couple of fathers they coparent with. TBH I had a very short marriage when I was young too but I can at least say that it was entirely sexless and obviously kid-free.
The dating options I have are terrible. I put my love life on hold for about 10 years while trying to save up and move country. Now I'm living here without a lovelife anyway. Cool lol
It's so weird (and sad) that we all have exactly the same dating experience. I'm 29 but in the past 3 years, I've been installing and uninstalling dating apps on and off for the same reasons you mentioned. I was even toying with the idea of arranging a date with a 18yo out of mere desperation but gave up because it would be creepy and I just can't connect to someone that much younger than me which is rather hypocritical since I wouldn't mind a woman much older than me provided she's an actual lesbian.
Living in a lgbt-unfriendly country, it took me some courage to put myself out there, all for naught it seems.
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lol k. i have 0 attraction to men, im just an attention whore and want other people to be attracted to me and i like to feel wanted - which is incredibly easy to manipulate men into. which then seems like me liking men, which is not what it is. just bc youre the perfect little lesbian who doesnt even look at men doesnt mean everyone is. i might be crazy but i do know my sexual orientation
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Feminine lesbians exist retard
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For you boob ladies, how strong are your boob preferences, if you have any? I'm pretty self-conscious about how mine look. I think they're shaped ok but they're very low-set so to me they look like old lady tits no matter what. I'm scared that if I ever manage to get into bed with a girl, she'll be turned off once the bra comes off. I try telling myself that it's only pornsick men who care about that, but what would my virgin ass know, I'd be happy to see boobs at all fml
Tell me, anons: is breast shape a real concern in the lesbian world?
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I'm a cis-butch, we still exist, but it's lonely out here.
I don't have a feeling many samesex attracted women are attracted to butches anyway and definitely not to my type.
I don't subscribe to any heteronormative roles, my masculinity is not fragile so I don't mind cooking/baking/etc or being gentle, but it also means I'm not going to pay for EVERY restaurant bill or act overly macho all the time, which disappoints many. I'm not curvy/chubby, but rather muscular+small chest, another disappointment for many.
I mainly get attention from bi-curious straight women, so I get why a lot of other butches end up thinking they are trans. It's their prerogative though, can't help who you're attracted and who not and I personally don't mind staying alone.
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i'm a mid-20s lesbian and honestly i'm getting so tired of "internet lesbian" culture. like i feel like the label of lesbian has become a cultural clout signifier that has more to do with the type of clothes you wear and the media you consume than… you know… being a woman attracted to women? also hate how normalized codependency in lesbian relationships is (pic related). Like… no… moving in after knowing each other for a month is not a "cute uwu lesbian UHaul moment" it's a stupid fucking idea that raises nothing but red flags imo.
idk it makes the idea of dating so unappealing bc you have no idea if the girl you're going to find a) is actually attracted to women (vs. frustrated w dating scrotes and wanting this mythical lesbian relationship that only exists in memes) and b) is actually emotionally healthy and able to have a relationship with reasonable expectations of communication/availability/boundaries.>>150020
not huge into boobs (i developed young which def played a role in warping my relationship w my body + breasts in general) but if i had to generalize from my own experiences i'd say you rly don't have much if anything to worry about. lesbians are not totally pornsick and warped to the point where they think tits are supposed to look like beach balls with a thumb tack stuck in them like scrotes are. Breasts also look v. different depending on the angle and position that you're in. My rule of thumb is if we're at the point where I'm seeing you topless, I truly don't give a shit about what's under the shirt – just want us both to have a good time!!
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Help homies how do I lose my virginity as a 30 year old who’s never been with a woman? I go so hard on my clit (fav vibe is the teeth chatterer) and I’m afraid when I do hook up with a girl it’s going to end poorly because I won’t know what to do with my hands and end up like a scrote rubbing her shit to dust.
>also rip how 2 meet girls when you’re a pizza face?
I didn't expect japanese to be such a popular search term for women aswell.
It's the only search term I ever use and I do it because asian men don't gross me out in the same way others do..? so I can enjoy straight porn with less distraction. I feel so weird (and kind of ashamed) of that preference but I developed that taste at some point and here I am exclusively watching straight japanese porn as a white lesbian.
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Im sorry but….teeth chatterer?
said. And just be upfront about your situation anon! Tbh depending on where you live you might have luck finding someone who's into the fantasy of, like, "showing you the ropes" or whatever. Talk with her ahead of time and make sure you're on the same page. You might even be able to bring the "teeth chatterer" along for the ride – I'd say most if not all of the lesbos I know are into using toys with partners.
Don't expect your first time w/ a woman to be flawless or super easy/comfy? You'll probably (hopefully) have a good time but the first time is usually pretty awkward regardless. Take it as a learning experience and a milestone!
How old are you anon?
I'm an oldfag but I'm at a point again where nobody in my life knows. I've told a handful of people before but now that I've moved to a different part of the country and kind of restarted here.. I've lost touch with those friends and I'm back to having nobody in my life know. Also I've moved from a city to a rural and religious area so I might have to keep it that way. I'm too old for this.
think i'm finally starting to realize at almost 30 that i really am a lesbian and not bi or pan or whatever. i think i really did suffer from this societal expectation that girls like boys and stuff. had a lot of crushes on boys but never acted on them, only dreamed about being with them but i thought i could never have sex with them. i briefly identified as asexual when i was 16 (loooong before it became popular on tumblr, that wasn't a thing when i was a teenager) because of that. whenever i imagined myself in a relationship, it would be with a guy, but that's probably because society expects women to be with men. but whenever a guy was interested in me, i just became so overwhelmed. being with a guy is so much trouble, they can get you pregnant, you can get UTIs if you don't pee after sex, etc. it's like sex with men is poisoning women. i also thought i wasn't attracted to women because i didn't find lesbian porn appealing. ofc it's made to appeal to men, but some of it is tasteful. turns out i'm just not into these super skinny/borderline anorexic body types.
looking back it's not a surprise at all since my default reaction to anything men do is disgust/annoyance, but i don't know why it took me so long to realize this. i'm just upset that i have no experience at all when it comes to relationships. or physical contact in general. i think maybe that would have made it easier to figure myself out.
you're definitely right. a lot of young women will think that they are also into men because this is what society forces us to believe.
i hate men/male socialization so much, i wish i could live in a women only commune or on an island where there are only women. i just want there to be no men around me. i want it to be easier to flirt with a woman without worrying if she's really gay or just european. and i don't want to be led on by straight girls anymore who just want lesbian attention when they really only care about dick.
sorry for the constant blogging, i'm just so frustrated and angry lately.
I know a few correctional officers and they say that's how abusive
"relationships" work in womens prison. Laymen might assume it's stronger butch lesbians taking advantage of smaller femme women but it's usually femme bi women (who'd often identify as straight on the outside) exploiting and threatening butch lesbians into being their "husbands" for sex and physical protection. A common method of bullying is spreading rumors about the butch being the sexually abusive
one since that's how the stereotype goes.
That's a really interesting piece of information and makes a lot of sense. Lesbians tend to have a "I'll just grab what I can get" mindset due to the dating pool being so small and I can totally see assertive femme bihets taking advantage of that.>>151946
As a tomboy attracted to high femmes I find it depressing to the point I wish I was femme enough to avoid this shit lmao.
it often stems from the more traditionally feminine one feeling insecure about her own looks and sexuality and projecting that onto her butch partner. she often fears what the people around her will think of her having a partner who is so outwardly and boldly lesbian and how she stands out in a crowd and thinks that will reflect negatively on herself so she tries to change the way her partner looks. starts out as “can i please put makeup on you? i just want to see how you look!” and the it turns into full fledged abuse where she’ll pitch a fit if her butch partner dares to wear anything from the men’s section. too many butches fall victim
to those soft looking femmes and i really hate the culture around persecuting butches that bisexuals and insecure lesbians champion.
I'm 31, I havent had sex with another woman in ten years. The reason being I spent the last decade trying to please family and be force being straight (those relationships were close to sexless too) so I certainly wouldn't judge you for your circumstances.
I think there's various reasons why we either stay virgins longer or go long gaps of time without sex. I would just be honest. You might meet someone and find that they feel pretty special to be your first.
That sucks, she was being extremely toxic
to you. I'm not sure how far trying to psychoanalyze a high femme person will get you guys though. Sounds like she thought you were ultimately unattractive and was trying to change you. It happens in any orientation, with any combo of femme/masc style preferences. Sometimes partners think you're beneath them in some way and try to "fix" it. It's shitty and you should end it but I doubt you're able to see through them as well as you think.
I'm not defending anybody you ape. I literally said that the partner was being toxic
and that the relationship should end because that's not way to treat your love.
I had a sexless 'romantic relationship' with a man from age 19 til my mid twenties. Lived as if we we're married (we did legally marry too) One day he left the house and just never came back. I don't know if he met a man or why he couldn't tell me. My only real gripe was that we shared rent and he left me to pay the rent alone til our lease ended. I got divorce papers in the mail years later. I had to fake cry to my dad about it to make it seem legit lol
If you feel a need to do that just be careful about actually signing anything legal or financial with him
Anon wtf, that’s insane. Did he leave all his stuff there? Did you talk to any of his friends or confirm he met someone else?
I get that it was just a beard, but that’s so crazy to me that he could just randomly leave after you guys lived together that long. I wouldn’t even do that to a shitty roommate.
I was more saying>it doesnt have to be internalized insecurity about being femme, could be a different reason
I’m sorry if this becomes a blog post, not my attention. Just asking for help I guess
When I was younger, I thought “lesbians were bad”, despite having obvious crushes on my girl friends in grade school - in addition to making out with them etc… in highschool I had intense and obsessive close relationships with my best girl friends. At one point I had feelings for an openly lesbian girl in my grade, and obsessed over her, as well as the other open lesbians. Always felt jealous, and wished they’d “pick me”, but I was always dating guys
Be me now, 25 years old. Have a lot of issues with other women and have no idea how to communicate with them, let alone make friends. Spend most of my time with my bf. Women aren’t very kind to me - I’ve always been attractive and a guy’s girl which might be why. But I’m constantly dying for female interaction, while at the same time too nervous to talk to any.
I often assume my bf is checking out other women, that he insists he hadn’t even noticed. That’s when I realize it was ME checking them out. At the same time I have this consistent fear and jealousy towards other women, almost a saltiness about not being welcomed by other girls since highschool
Am I a seriously depressed lesbian?
When I look at other women I’m either
- salty/jealous of their good looks/intimidated
- want them to feel beautiful nonetheless
- worried my bf is checking them out when I’m the one checking them out
- wanting their attention, while afraid of them being mean to me
- worried they’re thinking I’m unattractive or creeped out by me looking at them
Without good sex that's just a friend and roommate. You're only kidding yourself.
Not trying to be mean but I've been there myself and you hit a point where that's just not good enough and the 'relationship' will break down anyway
I'm gonna do the same, I just feel like doing hookups now (though I won't do it right now
, because corona).
I'm just mad scared of STDs. What if she swears to be clean and it comes out she isn't? Anyone can lie.
>>156106>tfw lesbian bars are basically extinct even in NYC and now that you're elsewhere you have no idea where the nearest gay bar is
But thanks anon, I've just never been to a "bar scene" in general. I'll see where I can find in like a year's time.>>156147
I'm scared of this too. Yeah, anybody can lie, but I've only been in relationships with people who I generally trusted beforehand. How do I use dams without it being awkward? If you're really concerned, are gloves necessary?
Do people get tested before every hookup? like is that a reasonable thing to ask for since we can't really protect ourselves with condoms? >>156151
It seems like it can't not be awkward, i want a one night stand too but dams + gloves would make it feel like a dentists office
Nta but I had my hook up phase years ago. Wasn't one for getting tested because you tend to assume that lesbian activities are lower risk (bad thing to just assume obvs)
The only thing I ever caught was hpv, it's very easy to spread and I had one of the cancer causing strains. Spent two years getting retested and having my cervix monitored for changes. So basically like a cancer scare with no cure for the hpv itself. People who were young enough to get the vaccine won't have those issues but just sharing to show we do still need to test ourselves. The lack of pregnancy scares is nice but I had precancer cells from having gay sex and not testing.
anon with muslim parents here>They're kind people despite their homophobia so I don't want to cut them off of my life, and coming out is out of the question.
mine are like that too, don't ever come out to them you just have to hide it. i told my mom because i'm not scared of being kidnapped/sent to their home country anymore and she freaked the fuck out/is in denial. dont tell them especially if you depend financially on them, i can't emphasize enough how you should wait until you're financially independent to say anything lgbt related to them.>Do you think that pretending to be a spinster while hiding my life from them could work long term?
i think so. i'm 22 so i haven't been harassed about marriage yet but i have plenty of old relatives who are single and doing fine. i actually met an older pakistani woman (40s) at a lesbian bar once and she said that her parents eventually "accepted" it (don't harras her about not being married, she came out to them in her 30s, they stopped speaking to her but reached out after 5+ years)
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Does anyone know How can i meet someone If i grew up with ib culture and came up to become a big sperg, pratically Futaba tier who can't even talk to a girl witouth completely freeze?
It doesn't help the fact that almost all of my tastes are the same as someone who used exclusivy image boards and small groups (made 99,9% by men) for years, so i can't relate at all to people on dating apps or who go out to bars.
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I have a terrible crush on my straight and ridiculously hot best friend. It hurts so much because her boyfriend litteraly jocks about how she won't stop taking about me (I feel like a shitty person for being a bit too excited about that). Sometimes she says that she could see herself living with a women and that she wishes that she was mainly attracted to women like I am. She doesn't realise how I want to throw my head in the wall every time she says something like that.
Do you guys ever wish that you were born a man because everything would be so much simpler that way? It's so rare for straight people to have to deal with the fact that someone of same sex attraction is not into them, I'm jealous.
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Vent ahead: Think I may be a butch lesbian which scares me a bit. I'm pretty masc and usually attracted to femmes. I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I'm still in the closet too. All the f/f relationships I see have 2 high femmes or MAYBE one slightly andro girl. I don't think I'm good looking enough to have a gf and definitely not fem enough to have a bf (not even sure I want that, men pretty much repulse me). Pretty sure I'm destined to be alone at this point
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What kind of style would this woman be considered type-wise for lesbians? I don't know weather I'm more butch or femme leaning but this is my type.
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>>163797>Do you guys ever wish that you were born a man because everything would be so much simpler that way?
And give up on this body? No fucking way
>>163797>Do you guys ever wish that you were born a man because everything would be so much simpler that way?
The only, sole reason I would rather be a man would be the bigger dating pool. I keep getting crushes on girls and blushing at them even though I know they're straight, meanwhile I have to make excuses to explain why I'm single. I don't come out to people like my coworkers or acquaintances because I'm scared of triggering
their homophobia and making things weird when they think I'm out to sexually assault all the women or something. It's rough. >>163881
wow anon this post was probably written by me, at least if it makes you feel any better you're not the only one with this exact situation.
butches (even ugly butches) def pull more than any femmes i’ve ever met. i’ve only ever heard of femmes complaining about not being able to find someone but all the butches i’ve met either get mad puss or they’re all in long term relationships/married. you’ll be fine as long as you aren’t a neet weirdo.
and def stay away from calling yourself a butch if you’re attracted to men, that’s the kind of weirdo shit that scares away decent women, not being ugly.
I'm not a neet, but I have some social anxiety so I might be a weirdo. I'm also pretty shy about flirting with girls since most girls that I've had a crush on are in a straight relationship.
I don't know if butch applies to me. I don't believe I'm attracted to or would date/fuck a man. I guess I'm a "tomboy" who doesn't present feminine, but who likes feminine girls.
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I think I will lose my virginity soon to a girl I like. I'm excited but also nervous… We're both in our early 20s but she's had a couple of long term gfs before, whereas I only recently came to terms with my gayness. She was my first serious kiss lol. I told her I didn't really have much experience with relationships but didn't delve deeper into that. Should I tell her? I'm worried I will suck in bed. What if I don't know what to do. Or what if I freeze, get self conscious or something. Ahh. Could you guys give me some words of advice or comfort?
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Well ladies, my mother is staying over this week and definitely found a dental dam in my apartment (found it 'set aside' with a few other things)
Heres hoping straight woman obliviousness kicks in and she doesn't put 2 and 2 together.
>>166133lesbian master doc is gutter trash but good for you if it was useful (it is too male-centric)
I know this is anecdotal, but anytime I see a bisexual talking about how she wants to have a lesbian 'bestie' or 'gal-pal' on the internet, it is always in a predatory way, e.g. they are married to a man, going through mid-life crisis and want to have a hot lesbian to lead on and have occasional sex with, then throw her to the side when hubbie wants a warm dinner. It is always positioned in a way of how they can get the most out of a woman without putting in any work themselves (we are just friends!!! just hanging out!!).
Dating apps - I don't have experience around them, but from what I've read the best bet is to just use the most popular ones. Also, if you are in a big liberal city, Her can be good. But yeah, if it sucks, then it is pretty normal. Gay dating is nightmare-mode
What's the lesbian master doc?
Lesbian master doc is "you might be a lesbian if" basically. I think it was male centric because its focus was women blinded by heteronormativity which really does skew some lesbians from realizing they dont actually
like men. Also if there's a less male centric doc im more than happy to view it and spread it.
It's true from at least the shit ive seen on Tiktok lot of bi girls who want a lesbian and want sapphic and gay tension and claim to ~sadly~ dislike men but then always post with their 2/10 scrote on dating apps claiming they're dating separately but it would be nice if they could ALL be together…HER became woke and is filled with scrotes now so i generally dont engage
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Yeah some unironically have obvious moid-centric answers to those standard questions on profiles. Like they literally state that they are looking for a certain kind of man, while allowing themselves to still show up for women (separate option from listing sexuality usually).
And I can second that the pfp's are for the male gaze. While I obviously think women's bodies are attractive, there is just something off-putting about anything portrayed through the male-gaze. It's staged like a porn photoshoot almost.
It might be due to the way I look, but I mainly get older women hitting me up for hook-ups. I have it stated very clearly in my bio that I'm not looking for that, but it's like they use masc lesbians as an "intro" to women. I get enough likes and matches that I could practically sleep with another woman every single day, but just finding someone who wants anything more is incredibly difficult. Also, I'm just not a touch-me-not and most of them are pillow princesses. It would get very old, very soon, if I did take them up on those hook-ups. >>166315
Whenever a woman says that she likes all women and 1 man, it means she has only ever dated ugly men who all look alike and she thinks going down on a woman is gross.
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I'll post the rest of the pics now that I'm at it
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Part 4, new phenomenon on HER. Men who obviously look like men, not even saying they are trans or whatever. I have no clue why they like my profile.
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Speak of the devil, it's TIMmy the autogynephile!
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The religious woman I almost dated also had a lot of red flags for bpd, so that was fun /s
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We're almost at the end of my vent, don't worry. Some enbies seem to be so close to getting it. They agree that gender is a social construct, yet they still always keep insisting that I can't be a woman while dressing in a masculine manner.
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I personally don't have a specific "type", like I don't exclusively date femmes. I would have no problem dating another androgynous or masculine woman. Though everyone I seem to have a connection with lives on the other side of the world.
Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk, I hope you have a nice day.
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Rejected a black guy because i dont want to get robbed and immediately got called a racist. I swear niggers are ruining this country(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)
Yeah, it is>>166315
It is a shitty situation all over, since the masterdoc does actually have legit points but it is also vague enough that every single woman on the earth can call herself a lesbian by those standards. It doesn't help that it has been coopted by 'late bloomer lesbians' that are just married bisexuals not planning to divorce their husbands
The worst part is that there are many lesbians on tumblr talking about how trash the doc is, but no one has the motivation/time to write an alternative
it's unbelievable how a rando girl from twitter wrote bunch of words and everyone now takes it as an expert advice
Expert on lesbians had me DEAD…
Well okay lesbian anons, if we farmers were going to write a lesbian document without pandering bs in it or male centricness what would you put in it? As a late-ish bloomer bi to lesbian my advice is naturally biased towards "no you are gay not bisexual" lesbians.
Firstly, id say that some people are Straight and if you have any sexual or romantic feelings about women you are at the least bisexual. Some girls struggle over this way too hard. One of my friends who is a girl (granted shes fully Japanese and only living in Japan and is super conservative) it took us some time to realize she liked women despite obvious signs like "only getting jealous over female friends because you just really like her" "if you like me and i am a girl you probably like girls". (Pussy pill is hard to swallow )
Also the classic "do i want to fuck her or be her" is a wlw signal but I really hate its modern usage with usually hetero girls doing xD commenting on lesbians things
My personal experience is embarrassing and will likely be unhelpful to LC's majority gender crit userbase, but I figure it's worth sharing for this imaginary documentary. Part of what snapped me out of bisexual fakeboihood and into lesbianism was realising all those ""boys"" I dated were girls. I've never looked romantically at any penis-haver, even when I knew he was exactly the kind of guy I'd be hypothetically into. And as a teenager I was crushing on everybody,
so even I
was confused as to why I couldn't muster even a sliver of infatuation. There was a distinct pattern in my attraction that I didn't even notice. Transgenderism can make this stuff really difficult when you're young and naiive.
Apart from that, I'd ask things like:>Do you want to fall in love with and marry a woman and spend your lives together?>If you had the choice to live freely with the love of your life, no judgement or extraneous hardship, would it be a woman?>Imagine your life as a romcom, where everything is perfect, your soulmate is everything you want them to be, and you have the happiesr possible ending. Is your love interest a woman?
All along my ideal partner has been another woman and I knew it. For a time I'd convince myself I could be with a man longterm, but only with a thousand caveats and the knowledge that we'd both be miserable. If the idea of spending the rest of your life cherishing a lovely woman makes you giddy, gives you butterflies, and seems like the best possible outcome for you, then you're probably a lesbian.
I suppose some of this ended up being a bit male-centric in the end, but I'm unsure how to rephrase. Apologies.
this…. also I am guilty of watching heterosexual porn but only pretending I could be the guy because I wanted to bang the girls ..but this is because a lot of lesbian porn mainstream felt disingenuous and this was back in the day as well…
Also anon who mentioned fakebois were all girls top kek
What made me FINALLY snap out of "not bisexual" was similar. All the "men" I liked were HIGHLY feminine in behavior and appearance. As soon as I got old enough that most men lost feminine looks or had male pattern hairloss I was like oh… so that's what I liked… because they looked like girls…welp.
Sadly a big part of being a girl or lesbian is male-centric nonsense so realizing you like women often is difficult. Living in a patriarchal world means the default is male and we have to think outside the scrotum.
I would also add (some sadly male-centric) stuff like
> would you rather be single your entire life than be with a man> do you feel like you do not relate when watching heterosexual love stories> do you feel like an "overly invested ally" of lesbians> do you feel a pang of immense guilt attached to an attraction to women or finding a girl attractive (for religious fags).> do you get butterflies around women (entry level stuff)> do you generally find women objectively more attractive than moids> if you're an artist do you have an overly invested image in drawing the female body or female body parts.
I think a lot of women just want to be lesbians for various reasons and can't cope with being bisexual. Just be bisexual and only date women! A lot of bisexual women just self-hate really hardcore because scrotes are scrotes.
Also its true bisexuals coping is a trend I've seen rising hardcore that ranges from funny to annoying. Like I'm sorry sexuality is not a choice but it just aint sis.
I think lesbians dropping ALL bi women is unfair and makes bisexual girls more apprehensive. I know nobody can tell you who to date but when you know lesbians who wont even touch GENUINE lesbians because they're not goldstar (even to the dumb extent of had a bf in middle or hs) it's exhausting tbh.
I dont fault genuine bi girls for wanting to be gay because men are just shit.
Of course now it's lesbians' fault… lmao. The worse thing a lesbian can do to you is reject you. Men are arguably worse to bisexual women, I've heard a lot about that.>>166546
Eh, at the end of the day, you date whoever you want to date. I don't see many lesbians straight out refusing to date bisexual women (or even fixating on goldstars), it always seemed more of a myth to me. But even if that were the case, there are way more bisexual women than lesbians in the world. Date each other maybe?
Nta but I don't think they were blaming lesbians I think anon was just talking about general apprehension lesbian women have about dating bisexual women.
Also I have indeed heard the "shes gonna leave me for a man" thing a lot which is kind of nonsense to me
>>166400>There was a distinct pattern in my attraction that I didn't even notice. Transgenderism can make this stuff really difficult when you're young and naiive.
This tbh. For a long time I was convinced I was bi because I had dated several FTMs. And god-forbid you call yourself a lesbian if your partner "identifies" as a male. I still crush on fakebois tbh…but now with TERF
ideology I'm pretty sure I'm still a lesbian. I just find butches incredibly attractive.
Nta but they literally said
>I know nobody can tell you who to date
Do you know how to read, anon? "I think.." is an opinion, not a demand. They also stated that they know that nobody can tell anyone else who to date. >>166563
Agreed. It doesn't place the blame on #alllesbians at all. Anon stated that they personally know lesbians who behave a certain way and that's where their perspective is coming from.
Some people itt need to learn how to read before posting.
I was referring to these lines.>This is obviously the result of bisexuals not being taken seriously by either side, but especially by lesbians>But I can completely understand how that sentiment, which is especially rampant with lesbians
The apprehension thing was mentioned later.
The women in comphet and latebloomer subs are mostly in a hetero relationship/marriage and seem to be just confused in general. I highly doubt a woman in a hetero marriage is facing any pressure (from lesbians, even) to be gay, unless she spends her days on twitter and tumblr, that is. Sounds more like someone who wants out from a boring/bad relationship, or that might be looking for a new thrill or something.
I'm not talking about #coping married bisexuals who twitter about comphet and feel bad for themselves. I meant single bisexual women who genuinely are interested in dating other women. There is a wall there. I've seen it personally or just reading bisexual womens posts and irl.
I understand the reason for "the wall" because its annoying af sometimes as a lesbian to see scrote loving male fandom, women who are not serious about dating a lesbian or asking for 3 way nonsense. I get it. But it still seems unfair and a lot of bi women feel that way to the extent that its a large talking point in the single bisexual wlw community.
Nta, but >dyke sperging
Nobody is forcing you to stay in the icky dyke thread.
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Why is OD such a nightmare? WHAT do you want me to say so that they reply, seriously?
I live in a small ass country with not many wlw, no lbgt bars or anything like that and while I do get matches no one ever replies (nor unmatches, abandoned profiles maybe?) or makes the first move. Like okay, maybe I'm fucking ugly, no big deal but shit this is frustrating, at least tell me to fuck off or something.
Any tips anons? I usually try to comment on something that's in their picture or bio, which sometimes works but even then they can't hold a conversation or just don't seem interested (which is still ok).
I began to take spreadsheet metrics of my success/fail rates with girls I messaged because I didn't take all those stats classes to not use them to get pussy.
Like recording how many got back to me vs how many i messaged as well as age/location/ appearance, bio completion, how far in talking we got etc.
Find what girls respond to you. Is it the type of girl you want? Do they message you first? lmao they wont im just kidding
I always compliment something in their bio and state my name and hoe its nice to meet them. If they have a shit bio ask her to tell you more about herself.
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Japanese mixed here to share some info on Japan lesbianism, they call lesbians "bian" for short and I just wanted to share because its super cute. ("Rezu" is kind of a slur there but it depends… )
Top is "tachi" (like the lead role in kabuki) and bottom is "neko" (yes like the cat) (both spelled in katakana not with kanji/hirigana)
Lots of women are in Lavender marraiges (usually with gay men) to the extent that dating sites/forums auto ask if you're married. A lot of jobs in Japan won't promote you if you're unmarried or won't take you as seriously especially if you want to move up in the company. Gay marriage is only legal in one prefecture right now and for the most part if you're gay and keep it on the dl it's fine. For saving face act just be a normie all day and then go to the bian bars at night. Some women are out though (pic related).
Japanese people aren't very touchy publicly and its normalized for girls to hold hands or lock arms (especially young women and teens) so you can kind of stealth in public lol.
Also sadly the lesbian forums there also have to say "no males" because scrotes are the same everywhere…
Theres a lot of lesbian scenes in Japan compared to burgerland tbh. If you're going to Japan and want to be gay there, some bars do have "no foreigners" rules. Many bars also do have "no trans" and obviously "no men" rules as well. Lesbian attractions range in many types theres lesbian bdsm/ fetish bars theres one where a nice dom will demo with you and I keep trying to egg on my closeted friend to go there sans covid, lesbian maid cafes, lesbian host clubs, lesbian only soaplands (essentially a brothel) , and normal girls clubs etc. also literally any event for BL related content like comiket, release events, etc. is packed full of lesbians because lesbians completely rule the fujoshi scene there to the extent being a fujoshi is near synonymous with being rezubian
Femmes are really popular there but androgynous women are as well. (Keep in mind androgyny in Japan is still somewhat feminine in look and often they still wear light makeup). Straight up butch women or stems don't pull girls like they do here. (However there is someone for everyone.) So if you're dressing to go to a bar, keep this in mind so you don't get slept on.
There's also radfems in Japan and they have a decent twitter presence last I saw.
Let me know if you have any questions about lesbianism in Japan /the history of it and I'll let you know!
>>166878>Many bars also do have "no trans" and obviously "no men" rules
I so wish this was a thing and not considered evil and overly exclusionary in the U.S.
>theres lesbian bdsm/ fetish bars… lesbian maid cafes, lesbian host clubs, lesbian only soaplands (essentially a brothel), and normal girls clubs
How do you find these places? Can you literally just search for "lesbian club [your location]" and get a list or is it more underground?
>There's also radfems in Japan and they have a decent twitter presence last I saw.
Are there certain tags to find them? Is the term the same as it is in English (I guess ラドフェム) or something else?
Pardon me for all the questions, full disclosure I'm not even lesbian but I'm radfem and planning to move to Japan in the next year or so. I'd really like to be able to find women-dominant spaces where doing your own thing and occasionally shitting on men isn't looked down upon.
It makes a lot of sense actually. Anime girls are all derivative of the same boring tropes designed to sell body pillows to scrotes. Even those created by female mangaka tend to be vapid and uninteresting, including yuri manga heroines! Plus, people are gonna draw fetishy bimbo hentai of them no matter what. Very unappealing.
Meanwhile male characters are afforded depth and emotional intelligence unseen in real-life XY parasites. They're allowed and expected to bond as people, as equals, without the barriers of womanhood. For example, if male characters are rivals or otherwise on bad terms, it's not a cat fight between jealous bitches. They just don't like each other lol.
From there, I think it's depends on personal interests. Like preferred art styles, literary genres, fandom size, etc. It also helps that straight men seem to abhor the BL scene, so there's less energy expended chasing semen squirters from the community.
In any case, anime boys win against anime girls when it comes to versatility in fiction and humanlike qualities. They have a much higher probability of being compelling enough and relatable enough to either fall in love with or project oneself upon. Just in terms of aesthetics, they're all basically fem, anyway. Bonus: if they're giving each other handjobs, just pretend they're clits instead!
I had a minor weeb phase in middle school. But damn, this makes me want to hang around Japan for a bit and live my best Lez life.
The scene is practically dead where I am rn. Thanks anon, I look forward to more of your info posts.
Still don't get it tbh. From my recollection of yaoi (had a fujoshi friend) it was samey stories of a macho man (many times with abusive
tendencies) and a small twink. Took a look at some, couldn't find any depth. Plus, all the sex was obviously offputting.
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Japanese lesbian anon here again. Im glad for ya'lls interests ill be samefagging a bit to answer everything
The origins of GL (girls love) can be traced far back into shojou and one particular author ,Nobuko Yoshia, who wrote "hanamonogatari" (lit: flower stories) shes one really influential lesbian author and sold lesbianism to Japanese people as "sisterhood" so she became popular and it was accepted. She started many modern trends and is credited with one of the main influences for shojou manga as well (girls manga) which focuses usually on female friendships. If you look hardcore at magical girl genre it's almost literally all lesbians with unimportant male love interest (cutie honey, utena, madoka, sailor moon) except its not always written from a female gaze. Warning if you wanna read other Nobuko stories they usually all end in lesbian yearning and sadness. (But irl she lived with her female partner until death so good ending irl.)
To an extent, lesbianism in Japan is still seen as acceptable for young girls middle/highschool as its seen as based sisterhood. However you are expected to "grow out of it" so being a lesbian after highschool is a bit taboo. (Watch Yurikuma for a disambiguation of this).
BL: (its not called yaoi in japan)
So "bara" (muscle men) was invented by gay dudes. Based lesbians began to take. If you critically look at fujo shit it's usually bishonen or effeminate men. They always place large interests on hands, feet, tongue, posing, the super highlighted nipples and buttholes and other eroticism that isn't just coomer shit. In some artists you can clearly tell they have never been with a man or that it was written by a woman because it doesn't suck
because of sexual positioning, the fucking tongues, i also read one where a guy was looking at his penis in the mirror inspecting with his legs open and my scrote friend lold at me saying "men never do that we can already see everything". If you have ever watched real gay porn its night and day compared from male gaze to female.
Fujoshi also literally means "gross girl" because they were criticized by scrotes for embracing their sexuality. So they took the label and ran with it. You also see fujo pandering in boy groups and in other asian countries (korea does it a lot with Kp*p). This is all intentional to get female fans interested because not feeling sexualized by a scrote= safety. Western women use similar logic when it comes to being friends with gay men.
Tl;dr fujoshis are based and its lesbian culture although there is yuri written by lesbians it's usually moids. >>166987>>166898
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So imagine your friend takeda-san wants to be promoted in his company but they're not really taking him seriously because he's in his late twenties and he's not yet married and doesn't have a girlfriend. Private lives in Japan are generally kept pretty private like confiding secrets in a co-worker is oftentimes some ascended shit. They don't share things publicly the same way westerners do (until after hours business drinking). usually you won't ever know a Japanese person's true opinion of something until you get to be close friends with them or find it anon because speaking out is not really acceptable. So anyways Takeda-san is looking to get promoted and is very serious with this company but his boss thinks he might move on later. They blatantly even say to him "Takeda-san, you're still single and not taking life seriously. You're a good worker but we need an image of family in our higherups."
You, Anonko-san, also work somewhere but are hit with the bamboo ceiling. They legitimately will not promote women Because they're women because they expect you to be a housewife when you get married. (Infact, you are taxed extra money if a couple has a working wife who makes over about 12k usd). They also will tell you to your face "i am not promoting you because you will get married and leave." But you're gay. So scrotes gross you out and you actually have a slammin hot girlfriend.
So, to keep in good with your companies, you and Takeda-san get married on paper and may or may not even live together. Now you get wild tax breaks, Takeda-san and maybe even you get a GIANT fat raise because there are marraige salary bonuses , your companies promote you because they see you as serious, you can get better places to live (married couples get mad benefits). It is not uncommon for even serious couples to live apart if one is closer to x company. Like sometimes people who are heteros will have 2 apartments (one closer to work one closer to their wife, mangaka do this a lot). So you and your friend Takeda-san can live separately and blame work issues while you go fingerbang your gf and he can either be single hetero or gay or whatever.
Japanese couples aren't as "romantic" as westerners (especially not publicly) and not as touchy feely so you can go to Takeda-san's company parties and smile and wave and not feel too hetero.
Also now no scrotes will ever hit on you again when they see the ring.
>Lavender marraige alternative version
Same story but you're a housewife which is completely normal even for childless couples, i know 23 year old housewives in Japan since sexism pushes wives to stay home (hence taxes, bonus work incentives). So you just keep the place nice, cook, reap the money benefits, and your "best friend" or "cousin" just visits a lot… if you want you can work a part time job (under the taxed amount) but its up to you. This is completely a legitimate story. And once again nobody will question you.
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They're pretty obvious in how they advertise. Most I know of are in Shinjuku because Tokyo seems to have the biggest collection. Dorobone, Adezakura, Agit, Kamari… the most iconic is Bar Goldfinger or "gf" for short. It has girls only nights in saturdays, mixed bar nights, and ftm only nights bois bar nights so its separated. https://erabozu.work/lgbt/shinjukunichome_gfhttps://www.goldfingerparty.com/bar/
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>Other ways to find lesbianshttps://www.meetup.com/ja-JP/topics/Lesbian/jp/
Some forums have lgbt boards and then ones for women. Yahoo Japan has some as well as Mixi (I highly recc Mixi its set up boards and theres gay ones there). Its in Japanese only so basically gitgud. I got lucky and met my lesbian "galpal" on another japanese app unrelated to gay shit.
Lespark, Tinder (yes really) in b4 you find dakota rose on these sites
Its also not uncommon to see dating profiles with no pics or hyper censored (masked etc.) Because being anon is a big thing there.
>>166878>mfw I'm an ex-cosplayer and met Japanese fujo cosplayers before I was out of the closet yet and they were swooning over my bishie cosplay but I thought Japanese fujos were straight back then
Missed opportunity. Still kicking myself, I could have a cute Japanese fujo gf. >>166997
This sounds both needlessly complicated and absolutely based at the same time. It's sad that they need to come up with these wild schemes to get by but I'm glad to know that Japan has a thriving gay culture. Thanks for the interesting posts.
Can you explain why lesbians in Japan would rather write/read BL about scrotes instead of lesbian stories, I don't get it at all.
I wish I could read some based lesbian mangas about butch lesbians looking anti-moe and flipping off the patriarchy.
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Sage for gender being half ot
Lesbian/ general gay Twitter stuff:
@lesinfoapp (posts about free apps, boards,les coomer encounter meetups)
フェムにスト also フェミニズム will get you feminist things. Yes also just Radfem in english will get you some… Theres also a korean radfem community. Note: if you just search フェミ that can mean "femme" so you might get confused…
ジェンダークリティカル <- gender critical
Im tentative to drop links to profiles here. But usually one leads to a seed of others… These are some with a following
@_ mizrajim (not posted in a while)
hashtag for gender wars JP edition that naturally spill over into leabianism
#IStandWith笙野頼子 <- yoriko shono is feminist writer/political figure (id bet irl money she's a lesbian) cut off from the communist party of Japan for recently calling out trans as invaders
#女性議員を本気で増やしてください (without women there is no democracy, for womens equality in japanese diet also sometimes tagged under lesbian posts for equality )
@femalelibjp (female liberation, radfem, also crossposts lesbian shit)
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There are lesbian GL writers (see: dynasty scans for finding scans written by female authors). A lot of Yuri, just like a lot of Lesbian Porn, is made through the male gaze. Thus feeling sexualized at the same time can be uncomfortable. This is not to say there is not REALLY good lesbian/wlw representation in manga written by men (Claymore being my favorite pic related) but we all know there's a difference. Stereotypes for yuri are uwu softgirl. If you look at yuri/gl animes most target male userbases and have NO scrotes in the story (Love Live for example). So the innocent girl uwu "deep feelings lets hold hands" stereotypes in scrote manga doesn't always appeal to women.
BL is a female concept of men. It is not "men" themselves. which is why fujoshis are based as fuck
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RIP anon who missed fujo gf. (If you want a lesbian cosplay gf go find the girls crossplaying moids from series like bungo stray dogs, toukenranbu, levi or eren from Attack on Titan ( basically anything thats has fujo bait…) That is the surefire way to get hot cosplay gf.
I can see your sentiments and once again, there are female written GL/yuri. If you want to know if OP is a girl "ko" is a common ending on japanese female names (ex: yoshiko, himeko) or just google to see if its a common female name (careful because sometimes the surname comes first).
Dynasty scans has the largest yuri database i know of
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Jap-anon here. It's not supposed to be a self insert . Its a viewing thing I suppose although I do know women who have done cosplay sex of BL…
I realize in America str8s like it too or its a mixed bag, hence why I gave the history of it in Japan. I still know many lesbians who enjoy it for reasons stated above.
You end up pulling all types but the stereotype in Japan stands that if you love BL, you're a lesbian…. (pic related canon lesbian from Monogatari series and her BL )
No worries, anon! I appreciate your posts as someone who is also japanese mixed yet never had the chance to know much about mainland because divorced parents.
Its just so difficult for me to look at that genre and not feel physically sick, no hyperbole.
how can we tell she is reading BL?
I'm surprised there is an actual lesbian in Monogatari that doesn't secretly want protag's smelly dick!
OH yes. There are ones that are written about tomboys or androgynous lesbians as well. The most lesbian looking girls you will likely get in manga are not going to be anywhere near what GNC is in the west (Japan actually has one of the highest rates of FTM….)
A girl recently told me to try "school zone" (dynasty scans has it) which has gnc lesbian protagonist.
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In the anime it goes over it blatantly that its all BL and has two male symbols together. (She also blatantly states im a lesbo and that shes reading boy x boy stuff) Also you see some of her books pic related.
Read above for my meta analyses of why its lesbian culture in Japan. Its deeper than "written by a woman"
(Also there's a difference in vouyeristic fantasy vs irl when you're getting off, picturing two 2D charachters banging is not the same as a scrote scroting you)
Also Japanese censorship for pr0n is pretty heavy so true Japanese works the dick is likely a glowing light or bar or blurred out. Make of that what you will. Its also why so much erotic emphasis is put on other parts of the body (nipples, buttholes, fingers/hands, mouth) things that are more erotic to women than men.
>>167120>It's just stupid that gay men can simp for female idols and never have their sexuality questioned
they are not interested in fucking those women or getting off to them, they are projecting their gay feelings and experiences on them….
BL is about getting off, so I don't think the comparison works.
>>167123>BL is about getting off
It's not. Do people really have to spell it out for you for the millionth time? It's about finding a female-written relationship and its elements (sexual or romantic) engaging and interesting without the burden of having to self insert into it. You're confusing the Japanese-style lesbian fujos original Japan anon was talking about with the otome fangirls who are only there to drool over the beautiful anime guy aesthetics instead of being invested in the character dynamics and story. >>167124
…Nobody has said that? Of course everyone understands that lesbians like female x female material but like mentioned before it's too often made for scrote coomers and simply not appealing to real lesbians. It's an actual widespread problem in all of media, there are multiple articles about how the majority of lesbian couples portrayed are male-pleasing femme couples obviously picked for wider crowd appeal instead of trying to represent realistic lesbian women. I don't understand why people seem to ignore this fact, I literally want to throw up whenever I see GL that's about cute schoolgirls groping each other, i.e. most of them, because it makes me feel objectified and uncomfortable as a woman.
It's pretty misleading to label all BL as porn. You can find plenty with no sex scenes, and some with sex scenes that wouldn't count as porn, and lots with sex scenes that are so censored there is not a single dick in sight. Then there is porn, but it feels weird to me to not distinguish between sex scenes in a romance story and porn?
I agree with both sides of the "argument" in this thread, I've always been confused about my sexuality because of BL but all I know is that I don't really give a fuck as long as I get to live my life with the love of my life, and it would be impossible for that to be a man because I am not attracted to men. The 2D men I think of don't even look like humans. I get why anyone would accuse fujos of being confused bis if they think it's all about dick and balls. BL is not perfect but I find it fun. I always struggled to relate to other people and BL is one of the things that doesn't make me feel ostracized just by reading. That's just a personal thing. Hope that gives some more insight, but I feel like we should make a new thread for fujo lesbian discussion, lol.
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All fujoshi know is to cope and make excuses
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For example, even in that picture the two characters look traditionally feminine. Which is fine. But a lot of women prefer androgyny/butch women that don't exist in media. On top of that…most yuri stories are so fluffy and lacking in conflict they are completely unrelatable. Not to mention the school-girl, scrote gaze shit which is offensive in it's own way.
Anyway, the women in FMA are hot af. And surprise, surprise…they're written by a woman.
Nta but I think it's perfectly legit to have doubts about it, it is a confusing concept. Used to read yaoi when I was deep into comphet and a teenager, looking back I can't really say they were "remarkably well written stories", it was just… porn. Even the not-porny mangas I read were pretty trivial. So here's that.
Of course if you wanna read that, read it, but many lesbians will find it weird and that's also fair.
>>167140>Women prefer androgyny/butch women
yuri can be male gazey in the same way be yaoi is female gazey. But Yuri mangas and webtoons have plenty of conflict.
No feminity is the best thing ever. Quiet and resilient strenght, empathy, sensibility, able to dialogue, introspection ability, care… and so many other qualities.
I hate how some lesbians put masculinity on a pedestal.
you know butch women can be all of those things, right? i think you and >>167145
define femininity in quite a different way
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Japanon back again and i did not expect this many wars.
Basically my point was to explain how it worked in Japan and origins and why lesbos flock to BL as a lesbian subculture. (Literally no moids in it where moids are in yuri ). There is yuri thats female written. There is platonic GL thats female written and designed (kobayashi's dragon maid is lesbians but in a wholesome happy way and one protag is GNC lesbian
It doesn't really matter if you "get it" what matters is lesbians are out there in other countries thriving (and pissing off scrotes.) Honestly im down for a containment thread for gay fujos but itd probably have to be in /m…. i havent checked for BL or GL threads
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You aren't making any sense. If they draw yuri themselves it won't be scrote-made!>>167140
This reminds me of my cartoon crush Kuvira…such a sexy voice. Too bad she was straight (?)
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I think OPs point is that the actual community surrounding lesbian fandoms, yuri etc is often filled with scrotes but BL is a natural scrote deterrent so it's allowed a community of lesbians and women in general to grow without harassment from men.And yeah women in any kind of military-esque uniform can get it
Yes. There's literally zero scrotes fapping to their material, yearning over the stories, creating in circles etc. Its scroteless by default to the extent the word Fujoshi was made as an insult because tfw scrotes not center of attention.
You can tell yuri drawn by men a lot of it is clearly male gaze and if you don't want scrotes fetishizing your relationships, drawing the porn, writing stuff that you don't relate to, yuri isn't the place for you.
Also most book stores in Japan have segregated areas like one section is BL one is GL (the other is NL for normal love top kek) and you see moids in NL and GL. So even going to buy a yuri manga or doujin you have to fight scrotes for it vs BL which is literally all fellow fujos.
You know how some things are just natural moid repellents? Its like that. Like if you compare libfem to radfem. General feminism some scrotes will get in even though its allegedly for women, yes it deters SOME scrotes but you still have creeping scrotes rewriting something for women for moids. Radfem is 100% scrote-b-gone. There is no alternate way to view it in which a scrote would be attracted to the ideology. Its literally only women. (I get it the 2d charas arent the same as feminism so just bare with me on the shit analogy).
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>>167132>takarazuka (a city infamous for their all-female acting troupe.)
omg anon.. thank you so much, i had no idea.
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i rly want a princely gf now, what have u done anon.samefag, ok ill go now srry
no problem! i'm going to slide you all a performance of elizabeth (2014).
i love takarazuka. i have the 2018 version of elizabeth on bluray but the dvds usually average around 80-100 USD and even more with shipping so i can't get them all the time. it's amazing. i want to visit there in person.>>167258
ugh, this. a lot of actresses leave takarazuka to get married
i did read how a lot of students at the music school had crushes on each other. a lesbian activist koyuki higashi actually attended takarazuka and was an actress but decided to leave because of the severe bullying she faced
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also, this is my favorite otokoyaku, asami jun. she's so handsome
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Hi I'm this anon >>166344
I have a great succes rate with getting responses and my secret is my profile is a TED talk too, but then showcasing me I guess. But I usually get a first message which is a response to my presentation.
I still have trouble getting into a relationship though, because getting responses is easy, still doesn't mean you click with everyone. I'll elaborate.
I'm not straight edge, but so many on dating apps make alcohol and partying their entire personality and have had a meltdown since the lockdowns.
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I also dodged a couple bullets, I have a weak spot for alternative women so it's kinda my own fault, I know lmfao
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Nowadays I swipe automatically left/reject any offers, but I was young(er) and stupid(er) and did hook-up with a couple of these types. I know stupider isn't a word, it's for effect
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Tinder has still been cruel, matching me with cool women from the other side of the planet who I actually have chemistry with, but will probably never meet irl
my dream! no offence but i can't stand butch girls and that's what i'm surrounded by and attract lol.
if they're femme they tend to be the 'bisexual but hetero romatic' which i can't stand omg leave me alone
ok this! the girl went into the 'i really like talking to you/i want to meet you soon' and talking about marriage and kids real quick and i found it overwhelming and tried to get her to chill out a bit.
we eventually met up and got along real well but i felt awkward because of all the things she had said so i held back a lot and i think she still expected a LOT more to happen.
we're still casual friends to this day and we meet up. she's really lovely but desperate (sorry idk how else to put it) and has gone on loads of dates even with guys even though she said she's never been attracted to them just because she wants to be with someone. she gets a new girlfriend and constantly talks about how she's the one and then she'll have a family gathering, come to a realization that she doesn't see the girl meshing in with her fam and then breaks up.
it's like a constant cycle. in a way i wish i was as active about dating as her cause i'm real lazy but i can't be bothered to just spend time in whoever's company at this point in my life.
Nta but samefag on not liking butches. I respect any girl who goes gnc in any way. But I'm not attracted to butch girls in general just aesthetic wise (masculine personality is another thing).
As far as meeting them goes…In my experience they're either super chill or scrote level toxic
. I find a lot of them to have shit attitudes, are overly mean to bi girls, have a weird front/act like scrotes. Use scrote mannerisms and scrote speak. Maybe its internalized misogyny/homophobia. Idk sis.
Ive seen a trend in Studs having stupid ass misogyny habits of calling women "females" when complaining… like bitch tf is you then?!?!?
(Also im not for stone butches either or ones who wear fake dick packers)
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I want more of these lesbian memes
just like anon >>167570
said i don't tend to like them aesthetically and a lot of the ones i meet tend to be scrote like.
they're weirdly self hating and think that wearing baggy clothing and having a fade has to come with misogyny and sexism lol.
it's really off putting and i find it very performative. i've reached a point where every butch girl i meet i unfortunately always prepare myself for them to act like that and 9/10 instances, they really stick to the script!
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So glad I'm not alone in this feeling because I get a lot of e-haterade for thinking this.
Sorry about your country anon. That must be hard.
But yeah I think its a problem that needs to be addressed but every Butch/Stud I've ever called out for scroting absolutely lost her shit.
There's also like a weird culture I saw where Butch lesbians were trying to heteroify femme/butch relationships like saying bs like "the butch is the protector the femme is the caregiver". Basically benevolent heteroing when the whole point of a lesbian relationship is to not have gender roles or labia scrotes. I've also seen retard shit like "female husband", "only straight and gay exist", "he/him lesbians", "only femmes xyz and only butches xyz".
I think also I've just seen the highest number of absolute shit takes (on wlw/women etc.) from Butch women as well.
based anons. women being gnc and masculine-of-centre is not inherently a problem by any means and I've met some lovely ladies who present more masc but I will NEVER understand butches who decide to emulate only the most toxic
elements of masculinity… including treating femmes like children. ugh
the one butch i've ever hooked up with was more concerned about making sure I didn't touch her teased out fuckboi fade (which was too full of hairgel to even put fingers through) while she was eating me out rather than whether or not I was actually enjoying myself. it was exhausting. fucked like a scrote, too – five minutes of head followed by 45 minutes of being pounded with a strap. never again.
honestly maybe too spicy of a take (and maybe influenced by aforementioned experience lmfao) but I don't think butches would be as popular as they are if it weren't for the fact that it's more "socially acceptable" for a woman to be in a butch/femme relationship – where there's at least the appearance
of a "man"/"woman" in the relationship – than for two feminine women to be together.
not to mention the fact that at least half of the butches in my city's scene either already have or are in the process of aiden-ing out. butch stocks are plummeting rapidly ladies, get on the winning team.
i kind of agree with this. i haven't been able to meet many lesbians or butches in general but studs in my culture are kind of known for trying a bit too much to emulate the toxic
behaviors of men.
though a stud i met at school, including the two teachers i had that were butch were all really down to earth and great people so i hope if i meet more they will continue to be opposite from the stereotype and i won't encounter unpleasant ones like my family members have
I (TedTalk anon) have the opposite problem. I don't even own a strap and I'm not a "top" (nor a "bottom"). And not once has anyone reciprocated during hook ups. Because here comes my second point: gnc women are used af by questioning women. We're visible, we seem like experts and like "entry" women or "male adjacent". That might explain why many gnc lesbians are suspicious of women who claim to be bi. Those hook ups were borderline traumatizing, that bad. Nevermind all the added scrote drama many questioning women bring. The scrote like behaviour is almost an expectation those women have.
I personally feel like I'm generally "less popular" because I don't fit the stereotype. I honestly wonder how many more gnc lesbians feel limited by it.
There seems to also be this taboo against two masc women dating. Which might be because it's the least acceptable form of wlw. Not appealing to the male gaze and I've been called a "faggot" before by another masc lesbian for hitting on her, but maybe it was a TiF. Meanwhile femmes mainly only date each other around here. So the rest of my datingpool is [see previous memes].
And just never say to a gnc lesbian that she is acting like a dude. We hear it from conservatives, TRA's, even other lesbians regarding everything and everyone then wonders why so many transition. Just call them an asshole and just call shit out as sexist if you do ever encounter it again. Of course you're going to get pushback if you say the exact same shit as bigots have been saying or phrase it too similarly. Sorry if you did phrase it different from how you wrote it down and I'm not excusing their behaviour btw.
I'd rather be forever alone than force myself to become femme though. So I'm volcel, not an incel, before anyone accuses me of that. I'd look like a TiM if I wear a dress or anything remotely feminine (Rain Dove vibe). I just want to be comfortable and not have to think too much about my looks. I like it on others, but being feminine makes me personally miserable. So I'll accept the consequences of not being feminine.
Eh we all have our problems in the end, I'm not saying I have it worse than anyone else, I just hope I can provide some insight from the gnc perspective.
>>167741>Because here comes my second point: gnc women are used af by questioning women.
My god, this. Got tired of all the bicurious women who were just looking for a replacement for a man. And then these same women turn around to talk shit about GNC lesbians, how ~predatory~ they are because they dared to find them attractive and how they should just grow up, stop "acting like men" and convert to attractive 50's housewife femmes. Thankfully I rarely see actual femme lesbians spewing this shit, it's always
obvious bihets, AGP troons and political lesbians who find masculine typed women disgusting and unnatural.
GNC lesbians always get the short end of the stick. Always. I'm not even a straight out bulldyke but a soft tomboy and even I get to experience all of these examples you described. Reminds me of that anon upthread >>151939
who described what happens to a ton of butches even outside of prison.
nta, but it makes perfect sense anon. i'm sorry for that horrifying experience you went though, these type of experiences i've heard is why i almost want to avoid dating bi-curious and bi women at all costs>There seems to also be this taboo against two masc women dating. Which might be because it's the least acceptable form of wlw. Not appealing to the male gaze and I've been called a "faggot" before by another masc lesbian for hitting on her, but maybe it was a TiF. Meanwhile femmes mainly only date each other around here. So the rest of my datingpool is [see previous memes].
this. i was watching a video by a butch and she said how she'd get so much flak for being a butch/gnc woman that only dates other butches. she'd get femmes who seem bothered by the fact that she didn't want date them and get discriminated against whenever she went to public places with her gf compared to her femme/butch friends. gnc women are widely treated like shit it makes me upset
>And just never say to a gnc lesbian that she is acting like a dude. We hear it from conservatives, TRA's, even other lesbians regarding everything and everyone then wonders why so many transition. Just call them an asshole and just call shit out as sexist if you do ever encounter it again. Of course you're going to get pushback if you say the exact same shit as bigots have been saying or phrase it too similarly. Sorry if you did phrase it different from how you wrote it down and I'm not excusing their behaviour btw.
and anon, you shouldn't do anything that makes you uncomfortable. it's insane how when women choose not to put makeup, have long hair or exist while not confining to how society expects women to be, you and other gnc women are made to feel like shit and get harassed because of it>>167746
i grew up in the same situation anon
we aren't born wearing makeup, i think being femme is more than just outward appearance but behavior plays a part too. also the futch scale thing was made as a joke and not meant to be taken seriously. but i personally fall on the almost futch/gnc scale
aw, anon. first of I loved your ted talk posts, they made me ugly laugh loud enough i was scared i was gonna wake my neighbours.
and i'm so sorry you've been so fucked over by "questioning"/bi girls. I've heard so many similar things from other lesbians that I honestly don't fault any woman for not hooking up with bi[curious] girls.
It's frustrating as a femme too because so many of these women who use butche/gnc women to experiment present very feminine and often self-ID as femmes, which means we get inadvertently roped into their shitty behaviour – I'm sure you probably feel similarly about the scrote-lite butches that are out there. at this point "femme" has been so co-opted that I honestly prefer the term "lipstick lesbian" for myself, but I feel like that fell out of favour about two decades ago lmao
It's also so wild reading your response and realizing just how intricate lesbian dating/sexual politics really are. between femme invisibility, the misconception that butch = stone butch, the convoluted "top/bottom/vers" discourse that doesn't even really make sense given the spectrum of lesbian sexual activity… meanwhile my gay male friends don't think twice about where they put their dicks or what they call themselves. whatta world.
anyways ted talk anon thank u for your thoughtful comment and I hope u have a good day… wish we could hang out and do some bong rips together.
That's because men are degenerates and they will fuck anything. Fags are no different
From my experience, only women who had sexual past with men are triggered
by gold star discourse. You may think that lesbians in the 70s didn't care about that stuff, but that's because the wast majority of feminist "lesbian" spokeswomen were political lesbians who claimed lesbianism as a political label, not actual lesbians. They thought orientation is a choice so you can just go from fucking men to fucking women and claim you were "always a lesbian"
Twice yes. But don't do it anon. Its better to be gay and lonely than looking at a girl with indifference.
Lonliness is better than dating someone you're not attracted to. Trust me. Emptiness of the weird disassocistion is worse.
Also I don't know what's different now from covid ir maybe me just being older, but itd been really easy to find girls online
I think being femme isn't just your appearance, it's also your personality. I know how mad most lesbians get when you compare their relationships to straight ones but that's literally what the femme/butch dichotomy is based on.
I consider myself a femme. I don't really wear makeup or dresses, but I'm just a very feminine person in my mannerisms and overall personality. And I like butch women because they attract me sexually and I enjoy being the "feminine" counterpart in relationship. It might not be PC but I don't care.
The goldstar shit is especially grating to anyone who grew up in a repressive environment and had to deal with comphet. Not all of us had good support networks and information growing up that didn't force heterosexual expectations upon us. I've met girls who didn't even know that you could date a woman, like they knew that they didn't enjoy their relationships with men but didn't even consider the option. It's the reason why celibacy was so strongly associated with gay people in the past, you didn't like the opposite sex so the only other option was to stay single. I'm sometimes mad that I "missed" my youth because I simply did not realize that I was gay and chose to isolate myself instead of exploring the options. >>167837
Honestly I don't understand why people keep pushing this "fem&masc dynamics are toxic
!!!" discourse. Opposites attract each other all the time no matter what's your sexuality. It's not some het psyop to convert gay couples to fit the traditional heterosexual relationship model. It's absolutely justified to get mad at the "so which one is the husband/wife" because I was asked that when dating one of my ex girlfriends and it was intrusive and disparaging, but it's an entirely different issue of straight people projecting their stereotypical gender roles.
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Can we talk about something other than political lesbians/goldstar/comphet/"true" lesbians for once. Jesus christ this thread is almost 900 posts long and the majority of it is sperging about ReAl LesBiaNs. No one cares.
On that note. What are some of the more obvious "lesbian" fashion choices? Anything that just screams "that girl is gay" when you see her in public?
Either butches>Sneakers>Minimal makeup>Jeans with t-shirts, possibly snapbacks
Or femmes>Curly hair>Always skirts and dresses, never pants
I'm not even trying to be snarky, it's really just how it seems to be. I'm the butch
I've heard about this stuff on radfem tumblr actually, so no you aren't the only one (including the whole 'I was closeted and still found other closeted gay people'). I kinda envy people like you.
Maybe there is some telepathic gay-to-gay connection or maybe we just become focused this one coincidence and think it is a sign. Or maybe there are a lot more homo-leaning people than we think
You’re both right, I didn’t consider her/their feelings if I were to lead them on.
I’d rather be alone than hurt someone. >>167838
Idk, I thought maybe I’d come to love them eventually? I’ve only met 3 lesbians irl, so I got excited initially by the idea of a relationship.
I'm glad you're a fan! Would indeed be cool to hangout.
But yeah I have no problem dating bi women if they're sure they are SSA and haven't recently been with a scrote. Not because of any ick factor or whatever, but because holy shit ex scrotes are drama. Suddenly lesbians aren't hot when dudes believe they stole their gf. Also I don't want any potential partner to continue some het dynamic with me. >>167906
hold up, I'll make more memes
I kinda relate anon.
I grew up in a really conservative area til I was like 18, by that point I was too afraid to pursue women because I was only just coming to terms with being bi (I know this is the lesbian thread, sorry), and now I’ve just turned 25 and I’m starting to think I’ll never be with a woman in a romantic way. It makes me really sad. I wish I knew how to approach other women romantically. I just don’t and I’m too scared I’ll make a fool of myself, or be a boring/unsatisfactory/annoying partner to try. I wish I could be brave enough to.
I know it’s not the exact same situation but I just wanted to say I relate and I hope you find your dream girl soon.
I'm also wondering this as an awkward semi-recluse entering her mid-twenties.
Hypothetically, I'm open to working hard to be a good partner but I do kind of fear that most women would prefer someone they don't have to "train." Kind of hoping a good match for me (another awkward gal) would be the type not to care tho.
I have, anon. it was my first serious relationship. I felt uncomfortable because deep down I knew my attraction was to a woman and to the female form and I just felt strange ignoring that. I was really scared I wouldn't be attracted to her if she chose to go through with hormones etc (she was only socially transitioned) but I also knew it wasn't my place to control that. There was a multitude of reasons why it didn't last, but that was a big one. (I dated her before I peaked)
Ironically I've only dated men after her (unsuccessfully, and never longer than a few weeks at a time, I always break it off because I get so freaked out). I regret that it took me so long to realize that I've been attracted to women all this time.. sorry for the blog/confession but maybe someone here can relate
>Im also a semi-awkward recluse
All lolcow lesbians in a nutshell LOL >>132196
Mine isn't like a fight or flight instinct just an making a disgusted look level. It just seems wrong to me. This is speaking as a late bloomer who had been with moids before and never really liked it so I know what I'm missing
>>168072> If you don't get out there, you will never get lesbian experience
Honestly true for any experience, but it’s always easier said than done.
I have no experience other than what I’ve seen people say but I agree with the other poster that I think other lesbians find inexperience more acceptable than any other sexuality due to the experience and culture of lesbianism/being closeted, etc.
Samefagging because it sounded weird.
I will communicate with them on threads and groups and then DM them. I also made friends this way who I later met irl. So its worked for me
Yeah, I'll definitely have to put work into learning how to be a good gf, but who's going to put up with my stumbles… I hope you have better luck anyway.
The lesbians I know irl are a bit older and are in (or have had) relationships, and the young "queer" girls seem to get mad bitches. So I feel like a failure even though I know I'm not alone. I mean I'm relieved, but also sad that so many of you have the same problem. I hope you're all right about lesbians accepting inexperience more.
? Just get a test for all sti's before sex, especially in a ltr.
No idea why people don't do this. If your partner is offended by the suggestion they may have something to hide.
Most of fakebois are too mentally draining and suck your energy dry because they want you to be their mommy/therapist and they’ll show the toxic
side of BPD when you don’t validate their fragile identity all the time.
And usually body image issues means shit sex too so why bother even with fwb thing?
Not fibro but yeah. The most I do is going grocery shopping around the corner and then keeping my house clean by myself. After that I run out of energy. I haven't dated or thought about it in 3 years.
My last relationship literally ended over my partner wanting a weekend away and me saying I didn't feel up to it (packing up pets, many hours in car with stressed out pets and me in pain etc) They went on the trip alone and ended up fucking a local woman there that they then shacked up with. From my understanding she actually has her own health issues so it's not like they've traveled since then. I was dumped over my limitations and cheated on and replaced with a woman who I think has at least equal limitations. I don't get it.
I'm not enthusiastic to put myself out there again given that energy is low and that shit ate me up for too long making me sicker than I've ever been. Investing energy in someone new feels too risky when it's the one thing you don't have.
I'm late to this but honestly I wouldn't care. I know comphet/celibacy by homosexuality is a thing and people struggle to accept their sexuality, I was in my late 20's when I finally accepted that I'm gay. The only women with no lesbian dating history I wouldn't date would be the pillow princesses who had 15 boyfriends and are now looking for a fun female whim while holding out for an actual man to run off with. >>169563
, just peak her kek. It's not even that hard, I used to be a fakeboi but after peaking I'm just a soft butch.
That makes sense
I'm an ex fakeboi too and I didn't have an external example that snapped me out of it but my wake up call was when I was walking somewhere late at night, it was really quiet out and a woman clearly crossed the street to avoid me. I had been passing as male for a while and suddenly I found myself wanting to assure this stranger like 'don't worry I'm actually a woman'
I joined bumble when I moved from a large city to a very small town. I figured I would stand no chance of organically meeting lesbians here so it was finally time for apps. Mens profiles showed up… I figured it was an issue on my end, that maybe I picked the wrong settings? I chatted to one guy for a couple days just because we shared interests (his profile pic was him posing with a statue from my fave film) I immediately told him I'm gay but figured a friendship might form. Like maybe a coffee buddy. I had no friends here.
When he wanted to see pics of all my tattoos.. I quickly realised I was fooling myself. I'm pretty sure I actually had the settings picked correctly and men just don't respect the fact that lesbians are actually lesbians.
I'm gay and given my age and where I live I spent my early/mid twenties trying to pass myself off as straight so I have my own low body count with males too. I dated two guys long term and avoided sex as much as you can before getting dumped for 'being frigid' both times
I can only guess that lifestyle is becoming less common now but there was a time when enough lesbians sadly had a sexual past with males too. So I wouldn't feel threatened by it. I know sometimes gold stars like to stick together.
I hope you're right, but >>169973
already sounds pissed.
i have never seen any evidence for this claim, i have only ever heard it on tumblr and no one ever has had any source for this.
maybe because i am not an english speaker i do not understand the traumatizing effect of the word gold star but if this is true damn what a dumb thing to stay pressed over decades about if this really is about some ancient mocking.
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After years of agonising, finally admitted to myself that I'm a lesbian. I feel so incredibly relieved and happy, but also scared. Bittersweet; things will be hard, but I'm glad I came to the realisation while I'm young.
I've only come out to my best friend who is a gay guy (my only gay friend, and i knew him before he came out) and he said it was extremely obvious and he had known for years
I'm not close to any sort of stereotype btw, in hindsight I always engaged very intensely with women and lesbian adjacent stories which probably tipped him off before I even fully realised
I was the type of kid who just saw it as normal to think about girls and girls being together, it never really clicked with me since I wasnt interested in relationships while i was underage
I have had two boyfriends in the past, but I noticed i became depressed very quickly and was never satisfied, always looking for a reason to break up and there were plenty of reasons to anyway, both were very emotionally manipulative and older than me. I thought it was normal, but I always covered my eyes during sex and automatically thought of a woman's body. It feels very weird to type it out like this but I'm hoping someone will understand, maybe even relate and realise theyre the same lol
Anyway, I'm starting college soon but I'm not fresh out of hs or anything, i worked and travelled for a few years. It's in a country and subject where a lot of interesting people (hopefully girls) will attend. I've decided to have my lesbian renaissance and get a nice gf
I'm very femme, but I want a shy cute gf. Wish me luck anons
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I came out as a lesbian before I was a teenager and experimented with bi but I’ve only dated MTFs. I want to be with a woman so badly but I feel ashamed that I’m getting in what feels like late in the game, I don’t know how to have lesbian sex, and I have so much to work through. I can’t imagine being dateable to another girl. How do I get over this?
Good luck anon! Also tfw samefag for being with dudes and getting depresso and thinking of girls during sex LOL>>170261
Im also a later in life lesbo who has only had sex with one gf and had dated troons (mtf) before. Basically I know what I like and I use that logic. I always also talk to girls im interested in and ask how
they like it. (Some lesbians dislike penetration etc.)
I don't think people here really have any significant experience regarding this, but the whole 'just go out and meet people!' advice just seems really unhelpful. It doesn't help that a lot of wlw spaces talk how you should never be on dating sites and how there are only men and psychos. I just don't get it, how am I supposed to actually meet another woman organically? It sounds so USA-centric
First of all, we are a minority, so how much people do I have to go through to find one - and just a lesbian, not even talking about compatibility and actual dating probability
Second of all, I, like many others, don't live in a region that is welcoming to gays. I don't see how, living in Eastern Europe, I can just join some random class/meetup and find a lesbian standing there.
Dating sites just seem the most logical
It is tiring already and people acting high and mighty about not using tinder and shit never helps. Good for you, but if I wait for 'accidentally meeting my next gf' or 'just meet new people' I will die a virgin
And judging by how desperate and lonely american wlw women are, it doesn't seem that their own advice works anyway
Burgerlander here and You have a point but on the other hand…what do you suggest? Lesbians are harder to meet than gay men imo you really can only rely on modern boards, facebook, dating apps etc. Or go to hobby events and hope for the best.
Even in best case scenario where you have a gay scene, shits just hard. I've always had to rely on internet or friend of a friend for meeting women because its just harder for lesbians to meet someone.
Me trying to find anyone irl has mainly caused me to just crush on straight women and find out too late that they are actually straight.
When I was younger and being a lesbian wasn't so taboo in "LGBT circles", it was somewhat doable.
me too nonny
, bishonen guys make me rethink my sexuality all the time. as a cope, i just tell myself they're transguys with pussies.