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File: 1600354582021.jpg (13.65 KB, 260x177, hikikomori_japan_8773.jpg)

No. 151699

I don't want lockdown to end. I fucking hate going outside and have to deal with people's bullshit. Every I do and say is twisted by my shitty, very asymmetrical, resting sad mouth, uncoverable dark circles, mouth breather face. I WISH I could slap on some makeup, but no matter how much I practice it just makes it worse…. Lipstick on a pig. What do you fucking do if you're legitimately ugly?? Just resign myself to a life of always being blamed for everything, constant glares and scoffs, having my ideas stolen, or just being treated like I don't even exist? I want people to actually look me in the eye, but at the same time I want to poke out everyone's eyes. Why couldn't I have been a guy? I thought about transitioning for a bit but decided not to, I'm short my body frame is clearly female, I would never pass. WHY CANT I JUST EXIST?! I don't want a body. I want to never let another person see me again. Atleast online you're only judged for your words and actions.

No. 151703

>>151699
ha ha what

No. 151717

I've had agoraphobia, still have an anxiety problem. I don't think that agoraphobia ever fully goes away without lingering effects… but for me it wasn't looks based. I don't care much about looks (especially compared to alot of the posts you see on here) but for me it came from a sense that something is just inherently wrong with me. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb.. but only because people can somehow sense that I'm 'off'

Do you take any meds? I feel like you might have something like body dysmorphic disorder. But even if lets say..you were actually ugly. I see ugly people every day when I'm out and they still are people who deserve to live, shop, be in public.

No. 151719

>>151699
>>151717
I’ve been diagnosed agoraphobic & body dysmorphic multiple times. I really understand both of these feelings

No. 151723

There's a pretty big thread on this already that you might find helpful: >>>/g/114320

hang in there anon

No. 151747

>>151699

With respect to you and your struggle, go the fuck to therapy. I was a BDD-chan like you once. Learn some real fuckin copes and free your inner hottie.

No. 151750

Anon, I understand how you feel. I used to be this way too and I struggle with this still occasionally. Therapy helped me a lot.

I think also people are more relaxed with how they look going out because of COVID. For instance, before the pandemic I would never dream of going out without makeup or a bra. Now I just roll up to the grocery store knowing that half of the store is going to be in their pajamas and looking like shit.

I know it’s hard right now but things can get better! I believe in you, anon!

No. 151765

Dunno how helpful sharing this will be but. I've been past the full-on housebound part of agoraphobia for a while and I still struggle with having a very limited comfort zone! I do small shit to challange myself. I put myself in slightly uncomfortable positions on purpose just so I don't go backwards. Since covid it'd be too easy to take a step back.

Sometimes it means wearing a piece of clothing that I feel stupid in..sometimes it means going into a cafe where Im particularly paranoid that the staff 'think I'm weird' Those small discomforts keep me pushing. Going too far too quick can set you back but that small shit is the secret imo.

No. 151797

1. therapy
2. realize that even extremely ugly people have friends and relationships and children

No. 151811

Its really depressing to me how many anons on here show signs of BDD/lookism mentality and agonize about their looks. I thought it was just me being weird but I really think model culture, incel lookism, kpop imports and instagram filters are really having a wholesale effects in showing people how woefully far from ideal they are and is creating a generation that will be much more miserable and punishing about their looks then their parents time. I'm an oldcow and I still remember pre-instagram days when it was so much easier to just be blissfuly ignorant, when I was in high school if you talked about some celebrity having big pores people would legit think you were insane

No. 151839

>>151811
>if you talked about some celebrity having big pores people would legit think you were insane
Tbf if you talked about that with normies today they'd still think you're insane. I tried talking about canthal tilt and buccal fat with a friend and he looked frightened and said I should stop worrying about such things.

It's just people who are very online that care about it.

No. 151840

>>151811
> agonize about their looks
This is the number one thing on here that I see and just can't relate to.
> still remember pre-instagram days when it was so much easier to just be blissfuly ignorant
Oldfag here too and I remember growing up in the 90s there was pressure to be skinny but if you were young you were usually skinny enough already, so you'd put on a pair of diamante studded jeans and some clear lip gloss and you'd think you were hot shit. It was all very low maintenance compared to the standards being pushed now.

No. 151841

hey op, i’ve known people who transitioned just because they were tired of being the ugly girl and they turned into ugly boys. you want to know why? bc they were ugly in both personality and looks. one of them realized that and she went from full frontal, taking hormones, can’t pass for shit ugly boy, to a “they/them” only, flat chested, female presenting ugly enby.
instead of going to therapy for her bdd and eating disorder, she decided to transition to try and escape the clutches of misogynistic beauty standards and now she’s worse off both mentally and physically. during that whole transition period, she continued to be bitter about her home life and was a bully to me and my friends. it was her ugliness inside that manifested itself in ugliness outside.

my point is, getting help can make you more beautiful. ugly women who are confident in themselves are powerful and are such a threat that the beauty industry tries to suppress them by making them feel bad about themselves and to cover up.I believe you have the power to become that confident ugly woman, and I believe that one day you won’t see yourself as ugly but as a person who deserves the same respect as everyone else.

No. 151844

>>151841
This isn’t necessarily true, and I don’t think it helps if op is genuinely an unconventional woman. Girls who have facial deformities or asymmetries that are noticeable or “off” are treated like pariahs, it has nothing to do with Instagram or the internet. The bullying they receive well into adulthood can be exceedingly cruel. Telling them they need to be beautiful on the inside when every single day they’re faced with mockery is just unbelievably ignorant.

No. 151849

>>151841
>>151844
That's what bothers me too, she basically said "be nice to people who don't like you".
I think the best option is to be more selective with people. Protect yourself, OP.

No. 151864

>>151841
I get that but… I've never seen anyone with my type of face be confident. I don't think it's unconventional beauty/ugliness, symmetry is universally the standard. I guess it's more about looking healthy than looking beautiful that I struggle with.

>>151844
Thankfully I never got physically bullied but the constant rejection/scorn builds over time and makes it unbearable. Men never interact with me unless it's absolutely necessary, and I've only gotten interest twice in my life, but from grandpa age creepy men.

No. 151866

>>151849
Not many people in my life to protect myself from now. The few friends I did have kind of treated me like a pet/emotional support. They weren't mean but I can't be in friendships where there's a weird power dynamic. To be honest I'm way less stressed after becoming a shut in.

No. 151886

>>151849
i don’t understand where you got “be nice to people who don’t like you”. I think it’s more “don’t pay them any mind”. being confident is about not giving a shit about what the people who what to put you down have to say. if there’s one mean person op should be nice to, she should be nice to herself because she doesn’t deserve to let other people make her feel worthless.

No. 151889

>>151839

>he


men always have this reaction to lookmax related information because they have no idea how to live under such immense pressure to consistently maintain your human body like a chronic disease, every day, for your entire life and it freaks them out to occupy your headspace for a even minute. But, they will all 90% agree that Megan Fox looks more attractive then Soarsie Ronan.

No. 151924

>>151889

>maintain your human body like a chronic disease

>it freaks them out to occupy your headspace for a even minute

Perfectly encapsulates it all. I explained the constant grind of having to shave and he told me to stop being so ocd. But ageing is the thing that really fucks women up mentally. Describe how you check your face for new wrinkles every day and they call you mental. They make fun of women for getting toxic filler and breast implants, at the same time while treating older un-sexed up women like dogshit. I wish we objectified men way more and focused on their youth, if kpop is good for anything it makes men hate their natural selves.

No. 151929

>>151924
Nta but yes! Your point about shaving. The endless fucking grind of near-daily leg, armpit and pube shaving. It really hit me one day. All that time, the nips and cuts, all the razors I've gone through. Extra showers because I couldn't wear shorts if I had even one day of growth. I now leave my legs alone and only shave my pubes/pits when the hair has some decent length to it. I've had exes huff and puff over the fact that I like trimmed pubes on a guy and doesn't that just put it into perspective.

The annoying thing about it, either you endure the pain of waxing (no thanks) the cost of laser (again no thanks) or it's a non stop rush to shave again and again. It's like fighting a losing battle. There's no prize at the end of it.

Any time I post about my more relaxed attitude to body hair… anons rush in to recommend different types of hair removal to me? We don't even let each other be stubbly without making it a problem. I'm stubbly/hairy 90 percent of the time now and I'm glad I've reached a point where I'm not ashamed of it. I have obsessive tendencies because of an anxiety disorder and hair removal can easily become one of those obsessive worries.

No. 151930

>>151889
Most women would think you were nuts too tbqh. I have never heard the phrases "canthal tilt and buccal fat" before that post and for all I know could be made up words to make a point. Perhaps reading over-analytical "lookmax" autism online is contributing to you being so miserable about your appearance.

No. 151932

>>151889
Ot, but Megan Fox looks busted in the later series of New Girl next to actresses that haven't just got plastic for faces. I'm honestly looking forward to girls they got ps young aging they look startling next to normies and not in a good way

No. 151949

I don't have any advice anon but it's sort of comforting someone else feels the exact same as me. Im so stressed going outside and a massive part of that is because of how I look, the other part is the unpredictability of outside. At least if I am inside I am safe and nothing can happen that I didn't expect. Just know your not alone I guess, though I know that doesn't help much.

No. 151956

File: 1600535470331.jpg (53.97 KB, 474x473, download.jpg)

>>151929

Not to be radfemmy but I feel like it's basically a type of self harm. You obsess over it, it's unthinkable to ever go out without doing it (not wanting to go out if you don't have makeup is considered a mental disturbance, but apparently not for shaving? For men not shaving is fine…).

Having to structure your life around it so your body hair doesn't show (it's very similar to how I have to constantly make sure to wear stuff that hides my sh scars).

Once you remove your armpits and leg hair then well all that other hair seems out of place, even the peach fuzz, so gotta take care of that too.

Not to mention how waxing is LITERALLY a form of torture (Marquid de sade). Like no wonder women have no problem being treated like shit by men, they're masochists as a by product of beautifying themselves. I couldn't even imagine getting pussy waxed, even with numbing cream I'd probably pass out. And imagine running a blade near your genitals? Nah.

>anons rush in to recommend different types of hair removal to me?


Yeah I find fellow women police each other on this stuff more, no man has ever mentioned my hair. It's kind of scary how quick they react to you not shaving, like a compulsion. If you don't do it then they have to think about why they do it, and that's some dark thoughts easier to just ignore.

>>151949

Thank you, it does make me feel a bit better that I'm not only one. Hope we can eventually get a bit better.

No. 151961

>>151839
>buccal fat
>canthal tilt
sounds like you spend too much time reading incel lookism threads. taking a break from those types of communities will be beneficial to your mental health. love yourself anon, you don’t deserve that crap.

No. 151992

im with you anon, I used to think my dark circles and imperfect nose/chin ratio was horrendous. I eventually came to realize I was actually normal/mildly attractive and could play up my better features like my eyes and cheekbones, slightly overline my lips and all that. Its the acne that makes me fucking ugly, and theres some places (the gym, bedtime at my partners house) I cant cover it up badly with coats and coats of foundation and powder.

But just remember, you are your own worst critic, nobody else really gives a fuck what you look like. Do you start rating someones flaws everytime they walk past you on the street? do you down your friends for having imperfect features?
i'm sure its not as bad as you think, but I also need to remind myself of this everytime I go outside with my disgusting cystic face

No. 152002

>>151992
what if you had random strangers give you the stink eye for a full minute or two. not just someone looking at a distance, but someone who's right next to you or in front of you staring as if you have shit on your face.

No. 152008

>>151932

I'm waiting for bella hadid and all those kpop v-line surgery idols to hit their late 20s. I think it's gonna be crazy, so many of them are gonna look like old women before their time. The buccal fat removal trend is the craziest of all to me, I'm not crazy about my chubby lower face either but I would never in a million years remove a fat pad from anywhere in my face. That shit is going to backfire so badly.

No. 152428

Right now is a good time for hiding your face when you go out since wearing a mask is normalised.

No. 152446

>>152008
I’m more excited to see the results of everyone’s “fox eye” surgery. gonna be a shit show with everyone looking like melania trump.

No. 152456

>>152428
Semi recovered agoraphobic, cut my hair super short and now I feel self conscious. Having hair to frame my face really helps my look but I always seem to forget that when I'm impulsively going short for the hundredth time!

Face masks will help get me through this awkward regrowing.

No. 152469

I hate leaving the house, I've always been shy but it's gotten worst, I don't even want to be looked at. I also think all the shit talking I do online will come back to me in real life.
I can give but not take. I want to be a better person inside and out. The longest I've went without leaving the house was a year, I'm a NEET who lived at home, so for me corona is everyday life.
especially with shitty breakups with friends and Bf's, I'm fine with being inside, but I know i need to be my own woman and live life.



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