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File: 1677506068636.jpg (45.03 KB, 1280x720, kurumi-drying-off-sawakos-face…)

No. 314525

Share tips, vent, advice, similar experiences, how to get out of such a rut, what can be changed, what helped you personally, where to meet women you can relate to.

This thread is for:
-those of us who spent our formative years on 4chan/other male dominated spaces and got internet poisoning from it
-those of us who realised men aren't your friends but are now alone
-gender dysphoric women especially socially dysphoric
-ex-TIFs who have come to terms with being female but are now adrift
-those of us who are gender non-conforming in personality, not only appearance
-assorted spergs/speds who have difficulty understanding social norms, unwritten rules, tone of voice, and reading between the lines
-low-empathy or low EQ women
-general loners and NEETs

This thread is NOT for humblebragging about how cool and rational and edgy you are. Please.

For example, I find it difficult to tell lies, even white lies. When I lie it's so obvious it makes it worse. All my friendships with men ended for obvious reasons. I would genuinely like to make female friends so hopefully we can help each other.

No. 314527

File: 1677507009423.png (532.3 KB, 1242x993, tumblr.png)

samefagging to add a screenshot I find relatable

No. 314528

This screenshot makes me very upset because it’s 100% true. And the third gender part is only exacerbated by the fact I can’t relate to men or women. Being a female autist is a very isolating experience in general, but especially in the sense that you’re ostracized by peers of both gender— too masculine to be friends with the girls, but not masculine enough to be friends with the boys, and don’t even get me started on if you look masculine in even the slightest because the psychological warfare waged against the normies (mostly male) only becomes worse. It doesn’t help that female autists are rare enough as is and autism is seen as a “man” thing. I’m just sick of being masculinized, I’m sick of being told that I act like a man, that my features are strong, that even the anime and video games I like make me masculine, I’m tired of it all.

No. 314532

I'm tired of it too, it never seems to improve. It's like something that others pick up on subconsciously. Even the anime thing, is there a set list of anime women are supposed to enjoy? Your post reminds me I'm not the only woman in the world who feels this way. We are what we are.

No. 314533

So what behavior did you emulate growing up? People see gender-nonconforming and call you masculine. It's what they do. You can not be an autist and be stereotypically feminine.

You can femininize what you do though so you're never taken for someone masculine.

I like being gender nonconforming and don't care if people see me as having so called "masculine" traits. But I call them gnc and forget the rest.

No. 314535

Yeah, I sometimes feel as though I have gender dysphoria despite being a biological female. Oddly enough I enjoy dressing up and the like. The second I start talking I out myself though.

Can you elaborate on feminizing what you do? How do you do this without coming off as contrived or fake?

No. 314536

I never experienced this growing up either. There was a lot of gendernonconforming around me though. Sports people, punk girls. I just never felt obsessed over by anybody.

This does not have to be a thing you internalize. Frankly those girls from the quote just sound overbearing and tedious and I would have treated them that way if they were caustically in my face. I wouldnt let them hear the end of it either . It's like why would they be so obsessed with me anyway?? Isn't it more like jealousy I don't feel bound to performing the role they're stuck in?? Most likely

No. 314537

If you enjoy it then it's not fake. How you dress, how you talk, how you use your voice.
As long as you enjoy it that's all that matters.

No. 314538

Alright. Step one is learning to respect and appreciate the women around you. Every time you think that poisonous shit, stop yourself and look at that critically. Maybe she's being inept or dumb but are you being too hard on her? Things like that. Start thinking of positive observations about women when you catch yourself in some misogynistic train of thought as well, counteract the negative by force of will. Especially getting rid of the "women are worse towards women than men are" notion because it's not true at all. When women are being misogynistic it hurts more but they're only doing it because of the same shit you went through. They internalized hatred of themselves and are trying to gain social capital by being competitive. Forgive that stuff, make bonds anyway. A lot of women are in the same boat as you, there is a way to reach them and save yourself along the way. Basically if you can appreciate things bout them, those things you have in common will in time allow you to appreciate yourself too.

As for the gnc side of it, you're going to have to learn some self respect. I don't recommend presenting in ways that aren't natural personally, it catches up to you because whatever validation you get from presenting masc or fem is not based in reality. You'll continue to feel like an impostor. Rationally it's easy to grasp that the "failure" to conform is not really failure, these are just made-up standards that you don't conform to. Emotionally it's not something you can will yourself into not caring however emotions are emotions and you do not have to act on them. So don't apologize for simply being seen as "masculine" or whatever, don't make yourself smaller in situations where you aren't in survival mode (like at a job). If the social situation is entirely optional and going in a hostile direction, get the fuck out. Burn the bridge if you have to, be firm. You can't let people talk to you in a disrespectful way. Circling back to the first point, learn to appreciate other gnc women and let your appreciation of them uplift you. It totally rubs off.

I don't have a ton of advice for the autism although I have it as well. I will say though being completely open and upfront about your struggle to understand tone/subtext (including reading too much into things) is helpful and women generally have a high tolerance for quirks, much more accepting than men actually. If you can continue to communicate when you get stuck, a female friend will empathize and appreciate the work you put into it. Can't stress this enough, women are completely worth communicating openly with. Emotional availability is our strongest asset in making bonds. Be available.

No. 314564

This sound boring, but radfem really helped me.
At first I found myself in an online group of the same "femcel, neet, angry and retarded" women, and we were roasting and hating men and this world together.
When we were tired or bored of hate, we remembered that we, actually, are all feminists here and were discussing theory. Fun times.
Anyway, I realised, that I'm not unique, and there are a bunch of women who are like me or share some of my characteristics. You just need to find THAT thing that'll unite you two.
And now I may not relate fully to my friends, and I'm super awkward, but, still, I love them and they love me. I have chosen to love them even if we are different.

No. 314575

very much so yes, one of the best ways to connect with other humans is having a common enemy

if there isn't one, create one

No. 314585

Resonate with this screenshot so much. I never really did get a grasp of a lot of resentment and hurt i felt in my teen years because of my inability to fit in, but i feel like being on lolcow unironcally helped me resolve this because for the first time in my life, there has been other women i actually relate with and don't always try to shut me down or treat me like i am annoying. I feel like my experiences attempting to be friends with women has largely been them treating me like the pet retard, i'd sit with the group as they had invited me to be with them, but i was not part of the circle. They all did things without me, they would have their own conversations i was not a a part of, they would manipulate my desperate need to want friends and i have humiliated myself vying for their friendships. I am so happy i learned at a decent age to understand they were not my friends, they saw my retardation and were making fun of me the whole time. Even when i am with my female family members, i get a similar energy from them. They are all perpetually obsessed with trying to make me become a pick-me, which is something i vehemently resisted to the point of getting angry sometimes, this was all before i knew what a pick-me was mind you. I thought being a woman was just a biology reality that really shouldn't matter too much and that a lot of things like makeup or shavings were choices women made for fun, but then i realised that almost everyone sees womanhood as just being about presenting yourself to men in a way that's fuckable and that a lot of women will go out of their way to shame women who attempt to stray from this reality. As a teen, i did develop a violent hatred for women because i was disgusted by the fact that they seemed to have no minds of their own, no personal interests, no personalities outside just wanted men to fuck them. I've learned that i obviously shouldn't see women this way, but even when i am on lolcow i sometimes visit /g/ and see nonnies talking about doing nasty shit like oral on their bf or about their hookups and that deep seated hatred honestly fires up a little. It's never left me. It always comes back with the right set of conditions. I do think that radfem stuff has helped a bit because it does help me divert my anger away from women a bit, but i personally don't agree that women are conditioned to be this way, i think it's a choice and always will, so it will always be there inside me.

No. 314619

I relate nonnie. To be honest, you'll find that men are the exact same way you describe women. I feel like it's normie people as a whole you might have problems with, which is understandable. I feel like normal people, man or woman, are both shallow, insufferable, and can be really cruel. Not that ND people are spared from these traits but I find that most ND people are generally more thoughtful and have more empathy, and aren't in general obsessed with powertripping.

No. 314644

im not diagnosed autistic or anything but the social dynamics women tend to create confuse me. ive gleaned overtime that women apparently use more subtle ways to communicate yet it feels like a minefield. like if you tell them that they dress so cute, apparently it can come off as condescending because you didnt use a more serious adjective? most of my friends are men just because i find them easier to talk to. however as i get older i realize how im not okay with this and want more female friends. nothing really compares to a deep and intimate friendship with another woman. going on drives, saying fucked up stuff to each other, roughhousing, talking about boys. feeling like you have found another one of your kind. kindred spirit.
even this femaleosphere that lolcow and cc and radfem stuff are apart of kind of falls flat for me sometimes. theres a set of beliefs youre supposed to have on this site, and if you deviate from them you get attacked. i dont like that. even though i recognize similar things happen on male oriented imageboards.

No. 314647

same, Im a very blunt person so I just say what I think or feel. I think I say 'the wrong thing' without realising it often

No. 314650

File: 1677578437121.jpg (1.6 MB, 1920x2571, 42806534d011650f8983c63706e109…)

A bit ot maybe but I wanted to talk here about how being a lesbian made female relashionship much more difficult, and I wanted to know if anyone could relate.

I use to be a "girl's girl" when I was younger, I was shaped by female friendship and I had extremely codependent relationship with other women. Since I came out as a lesbian, I feel like I have lost such a important pillar in my life. I'm deathly afraid of coming across as creepy to other women, I don't have a gf and I don't really "look like a lesbian" so sometimes women will act around me like I'm straight and it's killing me. I remember when a pretty classmate that I don't know very well huged me a bit suddently. I froze and looked fucking weird and I kept thinking " would she do this if she knew I was gay". Because the truth is, probably not.

The idea that I could be rejected in a platonic way by other women because of my sexuality is so painful that I've now become much more of a loner now. I use to indentlfy as bi ad I can see how differently women react to a bi women and a lesbia women, and it hurts so much.

I put a lot of walls around me because I'm afraid of how women's recation to me, I look and act straight up cold and indifferent now. I just miss contact with other women, the sens of shared experience and the camaderie. I miss it so much. I'm really glad that my best friend is accepting of me but still I can tell that something have change between us, that something is missing.

All of my really strong friendship that I've had when I was younger are tainted now because I feel like I was a gross pervert all along and those precious friend of mine didn't know about it. They invited me to their home and their bedroom, they would change in front of me and tell me very intimate things because they trusted me. Well shit, I'm crying while writting this now, you never really recover from that I think kek.

No. 314654

Aww if it makes you feel better I would love a lesbian friend (hope that doesn't sound weird) because in my experience they're cool and don't care about men!

No. 314659

I am straight but also WGTOW and I never see lesbian attractions as creepy the way I see men's attractions. Not even remotely. If anything i see it all as wholesome and feel really I feel bad it has to be one sided and I can't feel the same. My god if I could my life would probably be a breeze.

No. 314660

>I remember when a pretty classmate that I don't know very well huged me a bit suddently. I froze and looked fucking weird and I kept thinking " would she do this if she knew I was gay". Because the truth is, probably not.
God nonna I know that feel. I'm naturally an extremely touchy-feely person and I love platonic hugs and platonic affection but I put on this fake personality where I'm stoic and unfeeling and hate physical contact and socializing. I feel like if I let a woman hug me or even be kind to me/be friends with me I"m doing some kind of rape-by-deception because she probably wouldn't consent to hugging me if she knew I was gay. And even if she knows I'm gay I still can't open up because I feel like deep down she MUST be disgusted with me.

It was rough as a kid. I was a girl's girl too, my female friendships meant a lot to me. Then we started getting older and they started to get interested in boys and they iced me out. It was like they knew I was gay before I knew I was gay. Suddenly I'm not invited to any more birthdays or allowed to sit with anyone at lunch because I didn't talk about boys enough and it made them suspicious.

No. 314671

I feel so lonely atm because I don't have any female friends. I only have my boyfriend and it feels so unnatural to me to only have a male for company because growing up I was always around my mum and my sisters… men used to always be secondary in my life. But I always had trouble making friends with women my age because I was always the 'weird' one… took me ages to realise it was because I was an autist I spent years of my life feels like I was subhuman and shit because I couldn't make close friendships. Girls liked having me around for a while and they found me funny/interesting but then I always ended up being the 'other' friend and then just left out and forgotten completely. I have one female friend but she moved away after finishing uni and now I barely see her. Sometimes I think I'd like to go back to living with my mum and seeing my sisters all the time. At least then I'd be around women even if I didn't have any friends. Being around a male all the time gets…boring. lmao

No. 314677

They're homophobes nonna. A non-homophobic woman would not treat you differently because they would not think of you as a man just for being into women. They're casting you in a male-lite role in their heads and they're not true friends.

No. 314700

File: 1677610040464.png (1.11 MB, 833x612, 1628930670179.png)

i've been friends with women for most of my life. the last male friends i had irl were when i was 10, after that i went to an all girls school and my classes in college and uni were mostly women. i've befriended many men online and most of them were bad experiences, often they either fell for me or acted predatory towards my online girl friends. i still feel very alienated from men irl, they intimidate me and i rarely ever have to speak to them so it feels very odd when i do.
even though i'm so grateful for my female friends and for never having to deal with shitty men irl, i have always felt strange and inadequate around women. i admire the women around me very much, i used to feel jealous of them but this has become admiration. it all may be because i grew up with a mother and sister who adored makeup and "womanly" things and, while i wanted to get into those things, i didn't believe i was pretty enough for it. for a long time i had (and still sort of have) this complex around not being pretty enough to be a woman, so i would act very boyish and reject any "girly" things. i would take a strong interest in male-dominated hobbies and educate myself on media that men love just in case i ever befriended a man and wanted to impress him (terminal case of the nlog). i grew out of this in my late teens and came to embrace everything i ever wanted to be, started wearing makeup and dressing exactly how i wanted to, accepted the "girly" things i love and don't feel any embarrassment about them anymore.
yet i still feel very inadequate. i'm in my early 20s and when i talk to certain women my age, i'm taken aback by how mature they seem and how well they carry themselves. i'm very awkward in the way i speak and i have long suspected i am autistic (it's also been suggested to me by various people i know irl). but whether i am or not, i feel incredibly childish and silly in the way i talk and act and simply am, especially compared to these women who i wish i were like. i was also very sheltered growing up and currently feel like i'm what i should've been when i was 16. it's great that i'm the woman i am now but i feel so behind. i've always felt this way. in college, in my teens, when i'd talk to certain girls my age i could feel their judgement so strongly because i reeked so heavily of being inexperienced. to this day i get assumed to be younger and i'm guessing it is a mix of my looks and the way i act and my quietness maybe, i just don't exude any maturity until i actually get into a conversation.
i almost feel irritated because many times in my life i've been told by people close to me that i come off very cool, that i am pretty, that i am wonderful in various ways and this all gives me confidence but then i talk to one beautiful woman or just any man and i feel awful, for very different reasons. i'm never approached by men either, this is something i cannot relate to women around me on at all. i'm practically invisible to men and i know it's better this way but god i just feel ugly sometimes (even though i'm not and i know i'm not!).
i wish i weren't this way. i wish i could feel normal for once. i have never felt like i'd be happier as a man, never had any urge to transition but i wish i could feel more comfortable living life as a woman. i deeply wish i could be pretty, really pretty, with natural charisma and some sensuality but i don't have any of these qualities, i think i really come off like a blithering idiot irl. i feel very embarrassed when i remember i exist.

No. 314717

I like this thread. I love women but just cannot hold a conversation with them. I think it stems from trauma of being bullied, especially by my “best friend” during adolescence as well as my stepmother, and having an autistic mom who is even worse at conversing than I am. I want a lady best friend so badly. I realized that men aren’t my friend over 4 years ago and have been alone besides my Nigel bc I don’t know how to make women like me. Sry for the blog but I hope all of u ladies have an amazing day and know you’re not alone in your alienation

No. 314726


No. 314727

I’m glad I’m not alone in this. I’ve had trouble making friends with women in my adulthood. I had girl friends in high school but we had a falling out, one was homophobic and gradually moved to another friend group, and another started displaying pickmeism when she thought I was somehow taking attention away from her when boys were around and became extremely rude towards me. The latter friend eventually became ftm and was messaging kids through kik which was gross as we were seniors.
I think it’s better to meet women through hobbies or workshops (but of course I’m a shut-in currently living in a small conservative town). I’ve tried to make friends with my female co-workers (the only time I go out and see people), and I hate to push the stereotype of “women are worse to eachother”, but it’s what I’ve experienced and I think being in a competitive environment does no favors. A lot of my coworkers were downright nasty to me as well as other women not “in the clique”. I tried making friends in college too, and while I had colleagues I was friendly with, it was never taken to the “next level” of being invited to things. People thought I was nice but that wasn’t really enough to be a friend I guess. I have interests and a personality but it takes me a while to open up and feel comfortable enough to speak without thinking, which most don’t want to wait for.
This vent is all over the place but whatever. I have AVPD which makes it hard to approach people in general. I wish I had female friends, I’m a little envious of those who have strong bonds with other women. I had an easier time making friends with males but they all eventually fell for me and wanted more than a platonic relationship. I want friendships that will last for years and good times.

No. 314973

When I finally do find female friends that I feel comfortable around (I don’t exactly relate to them but it didn’t bother me) they catch the gender woo woo.
I’m so hesitant to hand out with them now, like the thought of going out or seeing them gives me a pit in my stomach. I think I have a crush on one so it’s painful to hear about her being a guy now.

I have more to say but I know it will upset some nonnies here. I have completely lost hope in forming close friendships with women. Ironically it feels only natural that I ended up on LC.

No. 314974

Yes I think being bullied by women when I was growing up really fucked me over. I get very defensive and awkward around women who I perceive to be “cool”

No. 314982

Excuse the rant but I'm glad there's this thread. Recently in therapy I ended up unpacking how much weird female friendship trauma I had since childhood.
Every "best friend/female friend group" I had growing up ended up being a rough experience for me because I was behind the scenes bullied and pushed around by said people, mostly because I just couldn't catch onto social cues and was very gullible. I've had some women talk down to me because of my interests, how I dressed, spoke, etc. in grade school through high school.

I found this happened in early adulthood too to an extent even though I felt I did a pretty good job masking and dolling myself up. I had women boost me up because of looks and then when they caught wiff of how I actually was pretty sperg socially it was like a target was placed on my back.

I often feel I'm in a weird space because I did grow up on 4chan/Reddit and this surprises people when I have said this openly because I don't "look the type."

Right now I do have a female friend group I have finally established, but I'm still having a level of mistrust to this day about them due to past issues. Trying not to self-sabotage this and sometimes it feels like I'm "cosplaying" being a good friend, like literally having to talk to myself like "ah friend is sad, I've seen on media that offering to bring a small gift/ask if they need help is what you're supposed to do."

No. 314993

I'm so happy that therapy helped. I feel like I should also got to therapy for social reasons so you kind of motivated me. For reason very good reasons I don't think I will feel comfortable unloading all my thoughts to a therapist.

What you said about having mistrust about your friends is so relatable. Doubly so when I feel like I do have actual reasons to mistrust them. I keep telling myself that no one is perfect or to stop reading too much into their behaviours/what they say but it just eats me up on the inside.

>t feels like I'm "cosplaying" being a good friend, like literally having to talk to myself like "ah friend is sad, I've seen on media that offering to bring a small gift/ask if they need help is what you're supposed to do."

This is also very true, I feel so robotic with my interactions with people.

No. 315019

I have such conflicting interests as a woman (especially as a lesbian feminist too) that it makes me feel like I can fit in anywhere but also fit in no where–like I'm super picky about the people I wanna hang out with (if that makes sense??)

I grew up with internet access and was a huge furry as a kid (I had a fursona in middle school/high school and it was pretty embarrassing) and I know a fuckton about weird internet cultures that makes me seem like an autistic scrote when I bring them up in public convos. After high school I got really into feminist theory and embracing my homosexuality (after struggling with gender bullshit via tumblr usage overdose) and even now I'm still a huge radical feminist / raging dyke.

Women I work with are mostly normies with husbands/kids and while small-talk is easy, there's almost nothing I relate to with them. It's really hard to find women my age that aren't straight (in my town at least), which I think is a big divider between me and other women too unfortunately.

To be honest I often feel like I'm a lot better than other people/women in general because I'm a (goldstar) lesbian, I have my shit together, I make good money, I'm attractive and fit, masculine and don't take shit from men, competent and smart, etc etc. I realize this is a toxic thought process but I also fully believe it's true and the more I interact with other people the more I think it.

I make "friends" really easily with other women and I have a likable personality/impression. But I often ghost people on a whim because I get bored of them easily.

Is there something wrong with me nonas?

No. 315021

Half-related, it does feel like sometimes there's a "right" and "wrong" way to be attracted to women as a bi woman with a female preference. Like there's almost an expectation sometimes to only like women on a superficial level, drunk kissing or anything with a man present is hot but it's seen as weird and unusual if you have genuine feelings or want a relationship unless it's some creepy poly thing, again with a man being involved and often the focus. I've posted similar on here before and had homophobechans come at me calling me a dyke/incel/whatever for I guess daring to disagree with whatever they think bi women should think about their own sexuality. I do empathize, same sex attraction still gets a lot of judgement from other women, even with the most lib ones you never quite know how it's going to land or if they'll think you're a creep. Not quite the same I know but I feel you and hope it gets better one day.

No. 315084

File: 1677842438750.jpg (Spoiler Image,123.48 KB, 1080x1351, 25017365_318125112016354_25463…)

I don't understand why women protect and defend coomer shit. Why do they claim they are okay with how objectified and sexualized female characters and women in media are. I will not believe they are actually okay with this, but they protect moid shit even in women-only discussions, where there are no scrotes to impress. I guess most straight women are just permanently ruined by pickmeism. I feel like I'm the only woman on earth who wants to stay away from the degenerate male gaze and porn shit.
(The doll is made by Miura Etsuko, her art really depicts my mental state right now)

No. 315086

File: 1677844081163.jpeg (262.21 KB, 828x403, 1578485964122.jpeg)

>feels like I'm "cosplaying" being a good friend

Same. I'm so broken and scrutinise every interaction. This applies to my relationships with everyone though, not just my friends. I often feel like I'm missing something fundamental everyone else is just born with. I think my boyfriend stays with me because men will put up with pretty much anything as long as you f*ck them, but women pick up on stuff like that easier and I can't… 'fool' them I guess.

No. 315100

Obviously you are a narcissist lol.

No. 315104

>I often feel like I'm a lot better than other people/women in general
>I often ghost people on a whim because I get bored of them easily
I don't want to be mean since rhis is a vent thread and you're just being honest, but it may be this mindset holding you back from connecting.
Indeed it's rare to meet someone who will perfectly match your experience, but it can be satisfying socially to know people who aren't as good as you per se. There can be mutual respect for differences, mutual care, and you can make each other laugh.
Not making a demand that you change and force yourself to be unhappy, but I have also had this mindset and am much happier now that I eased up and opened my heart to people who are struggling with things. It's a relief once you get used to overriding the automatic judgement instinct.

No. 315106

Top kek. Some of you are hopeless.

No. 315110

You aren't the only one. Radfems, religious women and many others feel the same.

No. 315131

KEK please go to therapy before you inflict your narcissism on someone else. Having money and being attractive doesn't make up for not having empathy. Any woman who is kind and caring is better than you as a human being, even if they're broke, homeless and deranged.

No. 315155

Wow, most of the OP points apply to me. I don't know how many would relate, but realizing I was a lesbian and diagnosed with Autism as a teenager made me feel like I was "a guy inside" but also a "third gender" at the same time. I dealt with forms of abuse and bullying from men and women, which led to being a loner. I think due to having an early puberty, I had a sex drive that I thought was similar to "a guy" (for the record I hate porn and things like that, at most I would be curious about risque scenes in movies and read fics and doujins, draw stuff like that), so I used to have male friends and spend time in moid spaces like 4chan at a young age. But seeing the awful things they would say about women and lesbians scared me, and I stopped having male friends a long time ago. But in school I was suspected of being a lesbian and was outcasted by girls pretty badly for it.

Meanwhile, when I tried to find female spaces online (old school Tumblr was a godsend before the SJW politics took over), I notice a lot of women in them that I otherwise liked and was good friends with were bisexual or straight (which I have no problem with), so it led to this left out feeling of being "the only lesbian" in a lot of friend groups. Having mostly TIF friends as a young adult in fandom spaces also made me gender confused for a period because it planted a seed that these girls, who were otherwise like me, weren't girls anymore after all. I have a theory that this is how I developed gender dysphoria and wished I looked androgynous like I "felt mentally" (past tense beliefs), but before I peaked I always believed in the "Truscum" thing where it was just a mental disorder, so I considered similar to any mental illness/disability I have.

I try to find ways to meet lesbians in real life, and for years I read up on radical feminism and lesbian history, etc., but it kind of strained things for me worst. Therapists I talked to didn't know how to approach it either. I don't consider myself a "pick me" or see myself as better than most women - it's the opposite, honestly. I feel a longing for connection (platonic and otherwise) with women I notice other's have. I'm considered "cool" and likable in real life, but it's mostly masking my personality and being in the closet.

No. 315157

As a lesbian radfem, I find it very hard to relate to straight/bi women, even if they themselves also identify as radfem. It feels too often like they turn their brains off whenever it comes to their nigels or men in their lives, if not dropping their feminist viewpoints altogether the moment they get a boyfriend. It's kind of exhausting talking to female separatists and hardcore feminists who backtrack the moment some moid walks into the picture… I just can't understand how their morals can be so easily compromised, I guess. I can enjoy their company, but when they come to me about relationship plights, I just have to roll my eyes. It gets tiring. I do know a straight and febfem radfem and I love them both, but I've given up on trying my luck again.

No. 315164

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This is embarrassing to admit, especially here, but growing up I was pretty much the "anime club princess" stereotype (basically nlog egirl before egirls were a thing kek). I was autistic, into jfashion and nerdy hobbies. I was awful at communicating with my female friends; I'd often say something that comes out wrong and hurt someone's feelings or not catch subtle social cues. Once it became obvious I wasn't straight, I suddenly wasn't invited to sleepovers anymore because it would be "weird" and I couldn't compliment a friend without feeling like some sort of sex pest. I became a loner and went full weeb. I'd wear plush backpacks and stuff like picrel to school, to try to become a "character" and make it seem I was a happy, quirky loner. I relate to other anons in that I felt like some weird third gender pet except I tried to embrace it and push it as far as possible. I started hanging out with the sweaty gamer scrotes because we liked the same anime and video games and they also tended to be autists. But of course moids are inherently inferior and watching all my "friends" disappear once they realized they weren't gonna get their dick wet really blackpilled me, I learned to never trust men early kek

No. 315169

I wish I could write about my feelings and thoughts as easily as you all do..

No. 315180

Thank you nona

No. 315183

I think I have autism and adhd and I care about womens feelings and I'm so scared of saying the wrong things and being awkward so I just dont interact with them even though I really want to. I feel like an alien imposter around other women, like they can tell I'm not one of them. It was easier being friends with boys simply because I dont give a fuck about what they think or if I offend them, so I could be myself. With women I feel like I have to put on an act because I'm not good enough. I get too nervous and they can sense I'm a fake, but I'm just trying my best to be nice to them, I'm not trying to be fake or two faced.
I used to have a only female friends but we driftet apart and now I'm too nervous and out of practice to try to make new female friends. Like I used to be able to maintain friendships with women and have fun no problem, but I feel like I'm getting more retarded and I cant anymore

And its hard because I dont want to be friends with men anymore, I cant deal with them. So now I'm just by myself with my dog and thats my only friend.

No. 315196

Anon you took the words right out of my mouth. If a male friend decides I'm weird or cringe or embarrassing or whatever, so what?? But then that ironically leads to me being more vulnerable and more myself around them. Whereas I really want women to have a good opinion of me so I'm too reserved.

No. 315197

I'm one of the anons in this thread, and admittedly it was hard to write mine out, and didn't mention some things out of paranoia of being deanoned. But what motivated me to share is the possibility another woman in my place might see it and feel less alone.

No. 315211

I am a diagnosed autist. It's weird. Pretty much all of my IRL friends have been female and I never really made friends with men. However, I only have one friend who I am still somewhat close with at this point in my life. The rest have just become acquaintances I only talk to a few times year. I graduated a few years ago from university and most of my friends moved out hence why my friendships have dissolved.

I'd really like more female friends again but I've given up on the idea. Tried to get myself involved in the only local radfem group around my area but got ghosted during the vetting process. That rejection honestly really hurt because I really wanted to contribute and be around women who I could possibly relate to. As a result of that, I've become turned off by the idea of meeting anyone through feminist groups. Reading about radfem ideas really helped me overcome a lot of my internalized misogyny but I just don't know about the people who are deeply invested in that stuff now.

No. 315228

It’s not easy but writing it down and realising others relate to you is a beautiful experience

No. 315237

I have been trying to find friends as well but as far as it goes it only works out when they find me. Maybe you should just let yourself be nonna and the people you are looking for will find you themselves. Just post content somewhere, talk to people in the comments, and don't look like you're desperate, people avoided me when I was too noisy. I wish you the best nonna.

No. 315245

You're probably right. I'm definitely way too closed off due to a lot of bad experiences that made me lose trust in people. The idea of casually interacting with people online or even just posting on social media doesn't even cross my mind because I've been such an avoidant person for as long as I can remember. My avoidant nature is definitely something I need to overcome. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, nonna.

No. 315277

>As a result of that, I've become turned off by the idea of meeting anyone through feminist groups. Reading about radfem ideas really helped me overcome a lot of my internalized misogyny but I just don't know about the people who are deeply invested in that stuff now.
Yeah, I went through a period where I really respected radfems, and it resonated with me as an actual lesbian, but when I interacted with a lot of radfems it felt similar to the social ostracization I faced from girls growing up, right down to dealing with a shocking amount of lesbophobia. I agree with radfems on more things than libfems (when it came to the trans issue I was a "Truscum" anyway since I saw my gender dysphoria as a mental disorder), but ultimately what's considered radical feminist in 2023 was basic 101 feminism years ago. It's a very specific belief I don't fit into, besides the basic stuff like "women are female humans". I honestly think the political climate has made things harder for me to make friends and connect with others as a desisted Autistic girl. A decade ago I would be in internet spaces with and have friends with all different kinds of opinions, and we'd be able to openly discuss it without getting a call-out post calling us "TERF/nazi/etc." and crucified for thought crimes, but now a lot of so-called liberals utilize cult-like dynamics in their friend interactions. It's like I'm too liberal for the conservatives but too "conservative" for liberals. I've chatted with people online since I was a kid, so it's my most "natural" mode of communication, but I feel too terrified to be active on social media and with my hobbies anymore due to black-and-white political thinking.

No. 315282

fuck anons i feel like that too

No. 315302

I'm so glad to see this thread and know I'm not alone. I had this problem growing up and realized it's because I'm probably autistic so I couldn't relate to neither women nor men for a very long time. Add to that the fact most of the internet content I consumed as a teenager was made for and by males.
Thankfully, things are better know and I have two female friends, however I've realized something really interesting. They also didn't relate to women growing up and their other friends are mostly male. We are really similar in behavior and tastes, and this is purely coincidental. Even when me and one of the friends are feminine, we approach some situations that clearly reveal we were raised by male-oriented websites, and that female socialization didn't work at some places. We even share the feeling of isolation from other girls and normies.
I've come to terms with the fact I will only ever have female friends if they were in similar circumstances, the only downside is that we still have some pick me traits (one of said friends identifies as non-binary even).

No. 315317

Im so glad theres a thread and i really relate to this >>314644 I have male friends as they're easier to talk to and read and they dont get offended. The only issue i have is that my male friends can get quite flirty and sexual with me, luckily i removed those male friends and mainly kept the ones that respect my boundaries. My friend and I both long for a female friendship group and we started to form one, mainly with people who were closer to her than me. However since she passed away the group has broken apart (more like they dont want to hang out with me and avoids inviting me) To be honest i always struggle with female groups and communication, i just dont relate to them and feel like its fake. I think thats why I enjoy the one on one with my female friends though I do wish I had a group to go to events with.

I also try talking on different threads here but like anon says if you deviate from the main beliefs here then you get attack. So I keep it simple and reply here and there.

No. 315490

>shocking amount of lesbophobia
Could you elaborate? I would have assumed radfem groups have a lot of lesbians in them so I find that really strange.

No. 315569

Radfems that come at it from a point of objectification trauma basically equate us to men because we "fetishize women" OR they get butthurt when we tell them dating men while being a radical feminist does not make sense as one of the end goals of radfem is liberation from the male sex. There's not a lot of solidarity to be found between OSA women and lesbians tbh, it's good if we're co-protesting and blowing shit up together but once we get to our world views it comes crashing down. Het/bi radfems often get boyfriends eventually and drop feminism as a hobby. Lesbians though… we always live in the reality of oppression and do not get to bury our heads in the sand from being dickmatized. At some point it gets to be too much to deal with constantly being compared to men

No. 315636

AYRT, this different anon sums it up >>315569 but my experience with radfems also seem to put lesbians on a pedestal in a way, they assume that we must be more politically enlightened solely for our sexuality, but then freak out when a lesbian has normie views that aren't completely feminist. While libfem/TRA ideology isn't safe for lesbians at all, being a lesbian isn't inherently radfem/feminist either. Even in the 70s there was a clash between radical feminists and lesbians who lived the butch/femme dynamic because feminists saw that as "trying to act like straight people" and not a survival mechanism. I have trauma with both men and women and don't have a "team loyalty" to the latter because of that, so my sexuality always felt like something I was born with divorced from my social views, since I struggle with connecting to women despite being attracted to them. Sexuality doesn't have any inherent beliefs tied to it (I used to be conservative lmao, so I'd know). I've also dealt with a lot of "sexuality policing" by radfems who have trauma from hypersexual/porn culture (I have trauma with sex positivity too, for the record) for how we experience attraction and have sex; I ran into a lot of weird sex-repulsed polilez types who would get squeamish over sex talk and equate liking boobs to a fetish, or being into sex acts other than basic fingering/oral to be gross kinks on par with BDSM. Obviously not all radfems are like this and they're less lesbophobic compared to libfems who think we should just suck TIM dick, but having all sides assume that I must have certain opinions because of my sexuality is exhausting.

No. 315828

Has anyone had better luck connecting with women IRL after you stopped trying to "filter" your Autism symptoms? I feel like I lead women on when I pretend to act like a "normal girl" and basically play along.

No. 315830

Are you me? I have Asperger’s but I’m really good at faking being normal for like months and then I get tired and slowly drift away from anyone I was starting to be friends with.

No. 315842

File: 1678277366280.jpg (61.95 KB, 1080x1019, 6e18b27a52f312c6624ba0421c773d…)

I'm unhinged. No I won't elaborate, I just think I'm too cringe for male or female friendships. I wish I had a real irl frienship. Women scare me and I either end up feeling retarded or like I have to be too nice to them. I like when male frienships let me be retarded but it's hard to find a good balanced male friend. They always end up becoming shit after a while lol

No. 315871

I feel that. I seem to get along better with men online because they get my retarded and autistic sense of humor. However, I don’t get close to them nowadays and keep a distance because like you said, the friendships with them tend to turn to shit. Back when I was younger and more naïve, I had two men who basically used me as their therapist and it became unbearable.

No. 315879

For me I feel like a fundamentally boring person when I pretend to be normal, but my "real self" has less milestones than most women my age so I feel like a loser. I've tried to both make local friends and date as my "normal persona" and it makes me feel like that Spongebob meme where he's round, lmao.

I used to get along with guys better for that reason, but male friendships would go sexual half the time. I had guy friends randomly show me porn or hit on me after being in good terms for months. It really sucks as a lesbian since guys will think that's either hot or a challenge.

No. 315885

Does anyone else get paranoid that other women are being condescending when they probably aren’t? In middle school girls would bully me by being overly nice and condescending and treating me like a retard, so now when I get a compliment from a normie woman it feels like she’s being fake.

No. 315889

File: 1678295355839.png (575.22 KB, 960x638, 1671359128272.png)

samefag. This basically

No. 315893

File: 1678297575296.png (1.18 MB, 750x750, mmo5v2.png)

I hate how hard it's become for me to be fully comfortable around other women. I feel intimidated by them, like they're so much more advanced and have their shit together and they probably think I'm an awkward annoying weirdo. I feel gross and boorish next to them. It's probably also slightly autistic traits that make me insecure about missing certain social cues and not knowing how I'm expected to act.
The weird thing is, I wasn't always like this. I've always been a bit of a weirdo but I never had problems making female friends when I was younger. As a kid and throughout high school most of my friends were girls, and while I was insecure at times about not being as cool or pretty as them, it didn't prevent me from getting along fine.
It was only after high school that I lost contact with my female friends and developed this crippling feeling of inadequacy and alienation towards other women. It's like I unlearned how to act natural around them. With moids it's different, I feel like they're a lot more simple and direct so I don't second-guess how I should act around them. Besides that, it's only moids so it feels like the stakes just aren't as high and I don't care as much about what they think of me.

No. 315915

I hate this comic so much. I had a cringe NLOG phase but the catalyst for my NLOG phase was being literally told by other girls (and grown adult women ffs) "ew you aren't like us so you're probably a dyke, begone".

Like honestly how are young girls supposed to react to their peers and parents and teachers and media saying "real girls are XYZ, if you aren't XYZ you aren't one of us.".

No. 315931

DA, but seriously. Other girls branded me as "NLOG" to the point I almost became a TIF, it wasn't something I decided to be for the sake of being special. I'm thankful that as an adult, most grown women are out of that mindset, but not knowing how to make female friends during formative years makes trying to form new ones and trust women really difficult, even after therapy.

No. 315968

File: 1678312887176.png (870.68 KB, 1192x798, 34567876543.png)

Yeah I don't wanna defend the NLOG mindset because it's still cringe but it doesn't happen in a vacuum. It's like everyone wants to shit on the 'NLOG girl' but nobody wants to talk about how poorly autistic girls and GNC girls get treated before they hit that point.

No. 315970

Honestly you don't have to be autistic or/and gnc, just being different is enough for you to get ostracized and alienated during school. There's a reason why people joke about "teenage girls being brutal".

No. 315986

>I hate this comic
you didn't even see the epic edit I made to it did you

No. 315994

File: 1678329755046.jpeg (197.19 KB, 1080x1067, DF195A37-A88B-4848-8752-50A844…)

When I was in school I didn’t have real female friends because I was relentlessly bullied to hell and back by both girls and boys, maybe it’s because of the racial aspect that I don’t see it in a “maybe they think I’m a lesbian-way” since I was also very feminine in general even if I’ve always had a weird sense of style.
And maybe I got to trust women because the women of my family are trustworthy in general, and just sightly judgmental.
But I don’t really understand how is interacting with teenage girls an important thing, I spent many years completely alone at school, I only got to have a few “friendships” that were girls using me for the little money and nice things I had or that were lonely and desperate for some friends like me.
But I don’t think I would’ve felt any less depressed or awkward than I am right now.
Honestly? I appreciate the time I was alone even, better than having to deal with toxic losers that were too busy hoping they would get picked and picking apart each other like vultures in the middle of a desert.
I was a NLOG for a long while too, maybe I would’ve skipped that period of my life if I’ve had friends, or maybe it could’ve been worse to me even, with either shitty enabling friends or shitty critical friends.
Maybe it’s my autism speaking (kek) but I will never understand the people that get hung up on both stuff like “gender” or criticism from others, hell, why do we have to give a fuck about shitty people in general? Just mentally block them, change the intrusive thoughts with nice thoughts, remember that maybe you would be a cow with a thread in here, unable to be self-aware, if you were constantly chasing the validation from others.
Like, what’s everyone’s goals? Do you all think you will suddenly get along with all of the women of the world just because you’re a woman too? Or that you will just get a bunch of friends that are dying to hangout with you?
Sometimes you’re just surrounded by shitty people and you have to find a better place, sometimes it’s just that you hate yourself so much that you take whatever opinions from others like gospel, sometimes everyone is just too busy to deal with anyone else.
Seriously, traveling even to other cities or towns of your country may help you open up in many ways, if you have the money try traveling to other countries, if you can’t travel at all, get into volunteering work or try going to some place with free activities if possible.
Just going out and talking to other women will help you notice that not everyone is shitty or just hoping to get something out of you.
Like, maybe the issue isn’t that you don’t “relate” to other women, maybe you just haven’t met any nice person, or even a person that’s willing to have a decent conversation.
I have a friend that’s an enby and we can even talk about feminism and such, I’m not trying to change her and she knows she won’t ever change me, I listen to her and she listens to me.
We have extremely different opinions on many things, but I still love her very much and know that she’s a nice person. And what I mean to say with that is that even if you have completely different personalities, experiences and opinions, you can get along with other women because all you need to do is open your mind, and maybe know that you don’t really need to tell your whole life history to anyone, a friend isn’t a psychologist, nor a mom, a girlfriend or a wife. Like, you can have long lasting friendships even if they’re casual like talking from time to time or meeting every once in a blue moon, maybe you don’t need to relate to everything of a woman’s life, but she’s still a human like you and a woman, she has struggles that will always be similar to yours or even identical. I honestly feel like it isn’t that difficult to click with women once you’re a grown up and you find other women that don’t try to impress anyone or aren’t trying to act like shitty teenage movie characters.
And sometimes you can even find a way to get along with women that didn’t like you at first if you’re mature enough and she’s also mature enough to act like a woman (a real human with thoughts and feelings a.k.a. not a man)

No. 316008

Sometimes I feel like a man inside, and I think that feeling came from internalized homophobia as well as my autism making it impossible to socialize with other girls as a kid. I was fascinated with joining in with the girls at a young age but I always got ignored or pushed away, and just always ended up being friends with boys. Luckily, nothing bad ever ended up happening and all of my friends respect me, but it was honestly weird being told that they basically saw me as a fellow male, and even my own family members admitted to wondering if I was a "man inside" so to speak. I've recently come to enjoy a few things that are undeniably feminine, like fandoms and cringey fanfics and female-gaze oriented media. I think gender criticality made me feel more at peace with being a woman, since it's not something I have to perform or uphold, I'm just a woman because of biological fact and it put me at peace. It's honestly a miracle I didn't end up boarding the troon train in school since that stuff was just taking off when I was a teen in high school and hated everything about my body and being a girl. If I had even been a few years younger, I wouldn't have stood a chance.

No. 316023

> I'm naturally an extremely touchy-feely person and I love platonic hugs and platonic affection but I put on this fake personality where I'm stoic and unfeeling and hate physical contact and socializing. I feel like if I let a woman hug me or even be kind to me/be friends with me I"m doing some kind of rape-by-deception because she probably wouldn't consent to hugging me if she knew I was gay.
Very, very relatable. I've always been physical in showing my affection like hugs, pats, putting my hand on someone's shoulder etc. but ever since coming out as a lesbian I'm terrified of touching other women due to not wanting to come across as some creepy perverted lescel preying on straight women. Allowing them to hug me feels just like you described, rape by deception, which is so fucked up but this is honestly what a lot of us are socialized to view it as. Like a voice inside my head telling me "She would avoid touching you if she knew you were a dirty lesbo, don't exploit her ignorance!". It's so exhausting but you really never know when someone suddenly tries to use it against you and all lesbians in general. When I talked about this to my straight friends they couldn't understand what I was talking about and them saying "I would just be flattered if a lesbian had a crush on me, lol!" makes me feel even worse because it has the implications of lesbian love being just a confidence booster. Just rather say "I know you're not a bad person" or something along those lines.

No. 316025

Man this edit speaks to me on a higher level. From the "try a mommy-daughter makeover date" to "she would be so pretty if she just tried" to "the dyke will rape you in the locker room" one, that's the high school experience for a GNC girl in a nutshell. The original one has a point, but it really rubbed me the wrong way as someone who grew up trying to connect with other girls but got rejected and ostracized by them relentlessly due to being too autistic/antisocial to understand the complicated social games. It's such a fantasy that "other girls" would "just accept you if you gave them a chance" like the original was implying but in truth they would be closer to how they're portrayed as in this edit.

>It's like everyone wants to shit on the 'NLOG girl' but nobody wants to talk about how poorly autistic girls and GNC girls get treated before they hit that point.

Exactly. After years of being told that we're quite literally "Not like other girls" we suddenly get shamed for thinking we're different. How could we not? During our formative years we were told to go eat our lunch at the unisex bathroom and no girl wanted to be caught dead being associated simply because we were "not like other girls". Yet people want to gaslight us into believing that this was all inside our heads and it's actually us who are prejudiced and selfish. I'm glad this happens less and less the older I get since women start unlearning the retarded female socialization the closer they get to 40 but every now and then I come across the kind of woman who clearly has a bad opinion about me based on the homophobic mindset.

No. 316044

tbf the original comic was about girls who have got the wrong idea that other girls are inferior for being feminine or stereotypically girly, or rather for thinking that what they see in media about girls applies to real girls all the time. While the issue being discussed in this thread is mostly the other way around, about being rejected by the other girls for being perceived as weird. Sometimes the two things can combine, and sometimes other girls are actually nice even if you're different and it's just you who is a NLOG (obviously that doesn't apply to the nonnies in this thread, but that's what the original comic was about)

No. 316052


I think what aggravates me the most about this acronym is that even if you act super nice, even if you pretend to be interested in mainstream hobbies and never deride them, even if you say nothing to the effect of 'I am different from you', even if you only have positive things to say about other girls you'll still be branded as one based on some intangible 'other' quality people pick up on like blood in the water. As if expressing difference or feeling alienated immediately means you're 'trying too hard to be special'. Simply saying you have a blunt personality or mentioning a band you like- without even talking about other people, just yourself- will get you accusations. I'm sort of over trying to explain, with a million hedging qualifiers, that I'm different but not necessarily in a good way, that I love other women that femininity is great etc because it doesn't work anyway. I also know nobody who finds me weird or off putting would ever go to the bat for me. Maybe this acronym described a certain kind of girl at some point but similar to pick me it's just become a cudgel against anyone you don't like, it sort of feels like telling someone to get back in the bucket. I've seen many hundreds more accusations of being gasp not-like-other-girls than the actual thing. I also wish I were just 'putting it on to seem cool', because I haven't gotten anything out of being this way, not even simps.

inb4 wow anon you're so cool, you're not like other girls!

No. 316054

File: 1678367903184.jpg (38.68 KB, 384x406, 1510503130017.jpg)


While I find your edits funny, I hate that original comic so damn much, it was clearly made by someone who has never been bullied or had trouble fitting in. As if all you need for girls to accept you is to simply reach out, lmao good one.

No. 316055

for the other autists in the thread, hopefully some of this advice helps.
>don't try to force yourself into normie spaces
they don't want you there, and you don't truly want to be there either if you are masking. be selective about who you befriend and limit that to people you feel no need to mask around once you get to know them to a reasonable degree. my best friend isn't autistic, but she has silly and weird interests like me and we relate very well to each other.
>limit friendship attempts to people with similar interests
this kind of goes along the same lines as the first point, but trying to befriend someone you have nothing in common with is doomed to fail and only works for moids who are inherently sociopathic and do not care about their friends' personal lives. my best friend and i have common interests (reading, especially reading feminist theory, hatewatching reality tv shows, thrift shopping, we follow a lot of similar cows, visiting local cat cafes etc.) as well as separate hobbies that we try doing together (painting, cooking, baking, skating etc.) so there's usually some type of activity we can plan, even if it is just sitting in the same room and reading.
>go to different group opportunities in your community
if you are at an event for people who already have a similar ground with you (same hobby, same interest in volunteering, same university program, etc) it is easier to make an initial connection to someone because it builds in at least a primary layer of small talk. if the conversation can't keep itself going, it's a sign you may not be compatible.
>don't expect everything to happen all at once
when i was getting to know my best friend, it took around 3-4 times of hanging out for us to feel comfortable enough around each other to progress to a deeper friendship connection. sometimes we can expect everything to happen at once, but these kinds of relationships need time to grow!

No. 316056

I don't understand "normie' social cues anyways, it seems like, at least in my experience, girls are way too comfortable with one another if you're not percieved as gay. Like just touching on your friends is common if they think you're straight? I think it's all for male validation and the fact we live in a pornsick culture, but either way, it goes over my head. One of my "friends" insisted on trying to rile her various boyfriends up in front of me. She was vicious in tearing me down appearence wise. I know she had a bad home life, etc, and all that jazz, I'm not really looking back at my teen years with spite, more like, I just don't fucking get you people. I can't tell you how many times a girl did some out of pocket stuff to me. I was never receptive and got angry once and slapped her, but she didn't seem to understand why I'd be upset, like is that normal behavior? I doubt it. Then again, this is coming from girls I knew who would openly brag about some guy touching their asses in the hallway or did all kinds of things just to tease guys. Then make fun of me because I didn't have that happen to me? I remember one scenario in my early 20s where I was hanging out with a group of girls and one of them was trying to get me to makeout with her in front of these guys and I just scooted away and looked at her funny. We were all drinking but I just don't get it. Then I get ostracized from this group because I don't wanna partake in these weird ass social rituals of trying to do whatever the hell they're doing? This has been my problem personally. I have managed to have made some friends who understand personal boundaries but like, I don't know if it's an autistic thing or I'm just actually just a person who understands you can't just fucking do that shit to people? Like you never know what's someone's been through, don't touch people, weirdos. I don't know if anyone else has experienced this kind of behavior, but it was very common in my youth.

No. 316058

thank you anon. finally something practical.

No. 316072

>As if all you need for girls to accept you is to simply reach out
It really depends on where you live. People are nicer to weirdos like us in some place more than others

No. 316084

It sounds like you have common sense ..? and your friends sound like psychopaths..? no offense. I never even had friends do that to me growing up, and if I did I would would have ruthlessly stonewalled them. I hate cheap attention seeking behavior. That's all it honestly sounds like.

No. 316100

Even though a good chunk of my girl friends have become gendies I don't want to abandon them

I feel so vindicated with this, this is basically similar to a bunch of invisible rules I came up with even though some people on LC to get over making friends based off of similar interests, I don't know how to.
As much as I want to be friends with 'normies' there's something about me that puts a distance between us and I have no idea what it is outside of me being socially awkward/nervous/anxious

No. 316142

File: 1678407519932.jpeg (104.01 KB, 1440x1440, 1655771130832.jpeg)

I agree with this. It takes more than just dressing tomboyish and liking pokemon to be a full on "other" "weirdo". I feel like the girl in the comic just had different hobbies and didn't like wearing skirts. She's not a full blown retard like me whose weirdness sticks out very much. And it's not like I want to be othered on purpose, I just don't bother with people anymore.

That's also true.

No. 316252

I feel like I need to put on an act around women. I need to guard my tone and expression. It is just too much effort. Due to how normie girls were socialized, they are stricter about social rules and structures than males are. They put lots of weight on tone, expression, conventions. If you commit a faux pas, they ghost you.
Around males I can be myself. Especially on the internet, where they assume I am male, and the "courting the female" dynamic is not a factor.
In real life I was very lonely; didn't find women relatable (they didn't find me relatable either), and with men it was a guessing game of "do they like me, or are they just humoring me?".
Thankfully I found girls who weren't so uptight about socially conforming, but that wasn't until I became an adult. And by "girls who don't care about conforming" I don't mean typical "outcasts", like in high school. If anything, the weeb tumblr yaoi crowd is extremely malleable by outside influence. Freaky hair and mass-produced "alternative" appearance isn't a signifier of independent thought. All my highschool friends trooned out except one male who got addicted to drugs.

No. 316310

I feel this. As a kid I was the 'weird, funny one' in my friend group. I lost most of them around puberty when their looks and interests started changing and mine didn't (it didn't help that I never grew boobs- I'm still an A cup). I couldn't relate to girls anymore, even though on the inside I wanted to be just like them. I want to wear dresses, do my hair, make up, act "girly", but it just doesn't come natural to me. I'm tall, lanky, awkward and probably autistic, but my true vision of myself is sweet, bubbly and feminine. What sucks even more is I have a younger sister that turned out to be exactly what I wanted. She's short, cute, girly and everyone loves her- and the thing is I saw her grow up and naturally develop into that person. That never happened to me.

No. 316401

Some cashier (probably high school age) once said to me “you’re so pretty, like that’s not even fair” and I still wonder if she was fucking with me lol

No. 316402

I’ve been struggling with this for awhile now. I have no sisters and I’d say my mom is my best friend, so I’m terrified for when she goes. I borderline simp for certain women online in hopes they’d want to be my friend but then don’t even know what I’d do if they ever noticed me. This actually played out once when some girl who’s kind of e-famous told me irl that she loved my Smiths sweatshirt and loves Morrissey and I was like a deer in the headlights. Fucking embarrassing.

I can hold one-on-one conversations with people at work usually but they never develop into anything deeper. It always feels like when I work with a group of girls, I’ll seem to fit in well enough but never get invited to hangout outside of work while some of them become best friends. It just feels like I never meet other women I naturally click with and feel at ease with. The second I think maybe I can become closer friends with a person, my anxiety spikes and I worry about coming off as creepy somehow. I just want a girl friend who loves the same music as me and isn’t a shitlib because we’d have highly conflicting opinions in many areas lol.

No. 316528

Yes. I can’t accept any kind of compliment, I assume they’re just fucking with me or being backhanded. I know logically they can’t all be like that but I’m very distrustful and suspicious in general.

No. 316530

File: 1678590349972.jpg (15.49 KB, 1104x92, soulmates.JPG)

>tall, lanky, awkward
if you were gay, this anon (picrel) from /ot/ would be your soulmate kek
I'm really ugly (I don't have dysmorphia or any weird shit like that, it's objective) and a couple times popular girls have done this to me and it's literally worse than being called hideous to your face. The obvious pity and assumption that you're stupid enough to believe it is what really pisses me off. Thankfully since I stopped slathering on makeup and dressing girly (never liked it anyway), no one does this to me anymore, I guess since it indicates I am not trying to fit into social standards so they don't think they'll make my poor little ugly day by lying to me about my looks.
If you're not objectively ugly, they probably aren't lying so don't worry about it. Although I still think it's a weird thing to say to a stranger.

No. 316531

File: 1678590569231.jpg (80.21 KB, 540x759, mm.jpg)

It makes me so happy to know that another anon ITT loves Morrissey. Whenever I Mozpost on lc now it warms my heart so much to get replies, partly because I've become very isolated irl, losing my online friends due to mental illness and the ones who remain I don't really trust to not judge me for liking Problematic Steve kek. I keep even my most basic gc beliefs secret from the online acquaintances I have left because at this point I just can't deal with any more isolation, but more than anything I want friends I can be honest with.

No. 316587

File: 1678624325965.jpeg (41.69 KB, 640x800, 9DC4C681-168A-476A-A49B-D5E531…)

Ayrt Moz lovers of the world, unite and take over! I feel like the general reaction to liking the Smiths and Morrissey is “who?” at best or like you said, you risk a negative reaction from people who know who he is but hate him lol. I hope someday we can find some Morrissey loving friends, nonnie.

No. 316763

what do i have to do to get girls my age to take me seriously as a capable adult? one told me i give off granddaughter energy. another said i feel like her little sister. i'm the eldest daughter in my family and i've never been treated like this until i got to college. in high school i was icy as hell and known as a bitch by the guys. the girls loved me because i'd give them homework answers and listen to them complain about guys and each other. nobody treated me like anything other than capable. it's like a complete 180 now. whenever i ask for directions girls go out of their way to help me, like i'm some lost little sheep incapable of understanding verbal instructions. when i ask questions people will act like i'm asking a completely different, much stupider question. i'm often assumed to be less intelligent than i am. girls overexplain things to me that are mindnumbingly simple. and it's not just them being nice because they don't talk to each other like that, even the ones they aren't close with. it's not a matter of me being a stranger to them. it's like something clicks for them that doesn't for me. i'm treated like a child for having a soft voice and shy demeanor, things that i was taught were desirable in my culture. i feel insane. i literally don't do anything but sit there and they'll compliment me like i'm stupid enough to believe them. i've literally never gotten compliments on my appearance until i got to this place. one day during my freshman year of college a girl came up to me after i got in my car to tell me she thought i was pretty. i was so happy until i thought about it seriously and realized that she couldn't even see my face since i was wearing a covid mask. although i did take it off in the car before she came up to me. but how could she have seen my face from that distance? it haunts me. i want to believe she meant it but what if it was one of those stupid positivity challenges to brighten someone's day? of course i obsessed over her compliment for a week before i realized the truth which crushed me. i'm not the most feminine woman at the moment. i give off conservative upbringing vibes like crazy and im naive as hell. is there no choice for me but to start showing more skin? cut and dye my hair?

No. 316780

Be more direct. Make more eye contact, if you're not doing that already. When they're answering a question you didn't ask, interrupt them and say 'Great, but I asked X'. Don't be afraid to sound like a bitch.

No. 316796

>I feel like I need to put on an act around women. I need to guard my tone and expression. It is just too much effort. Due to how normie girls were socialized, they are stricter about social rules and structures than males are.

No. 316919

Hikkimori here. I'm trying to get better and trying to socialize with other women. I've isolated myself so much that I don't have anything to talk about. Is there some advice anyone could give me about making small talk for introverts? I'm really tired of all the silence.

No. 316921

For the most general advice, most people love talking about themselves. Ask things like what did they do in their free time recently, encourage them to elaborate (they mention idk, watching a movie, ask if they liked it, and then what they liked about it), stuff like this.

No. 316955

I know i am every normies worst nightmare. I literally have a lot of the negative aspie symptoms, particularly low empathy, extremely narrow topics of interest and i literally cannot hide my disinterest when i am talking with them and can't mask for shit, so most of them think i am an asshole. I have given up on trying to have a normie lifestyle. I was kind of upset when i read my report kind of indicated i was a horrible person at risk of being a druggie/alcoholic if i touched it even once or having legal problems (both more to do with adhd, i feel like that's ruining my life 10x more than autism but idk). Idk, i think reading this thread has made me at peace with this because i almost considered rage quiting getting treatment because i felt like the therapist would be judging me the whole time. I just want to be able to fake being a pleasant enough of a person so i can have a stable job and take care of myself, I also need to seperate myself from my parents asap to tame my persecution complex i have gained from the fact that they always bullied me.

I really like just sticking to discord and anonymous places for socialisation for the most part. It would be nice to have a single person who cared about everything i cared about irl and we could hang out maybe once a month, but if this doesn't happen i won't be sad.

I felt that way when i was young mainly because i got bullied for my appearance a lot. Nowadays compliments do absolutely nothing for me, just a fart in the wind. I have become increasingly more self-centred due to being isolated and only care about what i think and i am very mean to myself tbh.

No. 316969

i really want to have a group of female friends i can be comfortable around. but i put women on such a pedastal and 'other' them i never know how to act around them. i don't care what men think about me so i can say whatever comes into my head, and it works and i can relax. but as soon as im left alone with a girl i completely blank, i hate it

No. 316973

I spent most of my middle school/ high school /college life not really interacting with girls all that much. it didn’t help that between 14-16 i pretended to be a boy on VF and i spent all my time online being a fucking moron. the girls in my hometown also thought i was gay (they were half right) and avoided me and when they did talk to me i didn’t know how to keep a conversation going because it felt like i couldn’t socialize the same way they did. all i could talk about were stupid things that were considered nerdy back then and i also made the mistake of bringing up weird shit without realizing it was weird. i also think i come off as kind of intense because i don’t really talk a lot and tend to stare…. anons i’m 29 i want more girlfriends so bad even with the friendfinder thread i can’t seem to connect with the girls i add and talk to am i just retarded

No. 317006

File: 1678880011423.jpeg (27.86 KB, 500x561, D47EBCA7-B45B-4212-BD21-0D72F0…)

this sounds dumb but seeing all of you share similar stories to mine makes me want to just invite all of you for tea or something, I wish we could all be friends

No. 317151

My life is filled with catty and bratty women and all they do is gossip and pull shit-tier Mean Girls moves. Unfortunately I have to deal with them because they are in laws/ or coworkers.
I guess I want to ask, how do you handle the bullies in your life? How do you circumvent the gossiping. I dont know why, but my in laws are terribly mean and spiteful towards me.

No. 317212

Could some of you give examples of situations where you felt alienated from other girls?

No. 317339

can I be your friend? I love it when women speak their minds unfiltered.

No. 317388

I live in a conservative area, so I've never really met another lesbian in the wild. I don't have a problem with OSA women as a long as they're not lesbophobic, but I often have a fear that the nice straight woman I'm friends with will turn on me the moment she finds out. I was also forcibly outed in school once, and I had straight girls who already disliked me for being "weird" turn on me even more and scream "EW" to my face. Being roped into "boy talk" before that happened as a kid/teen and having girls show me pictures of their boyfriends or celebrity crushes and asking me if I think they're hot too, and being asked if I have a husband and kids as an adult, will always be deeply uncomfortable.

Femininity is another thing I've been nitpicked on, despite not being masculine either. It could be because I'm autistic, but I only wear a little bit of makeup and do light skincare to take care of my acne problems, I never understood the point of full-on painting your face and shaving.

My weight has always been a "damned if you do, damned if you don't" thing too. I was skinny as a child and would get inappropriate comments about how I was "too" skinny and how gross that was, but when I started puberty (earlier than other girls, too, which was also alienating) I got chubby. Girls assumed I was just a lazy pig who couldn't stop eating, when I rarely eat and had a medical issue I couldn't afford a doctor for.

I'm sure there's more, but when it comes to childhood stuff, that's what I remember.

No. 317394

In my teens I felt like I failed as woman and it unfortunately made a great impact on me as I grow up.
For starters, I was ugly. Like, really ugly. I started to grow early and was the tallest in my class (taller than all of the boys) and was pretty chubby on top of that. Not only that, but I never grew boob, they are still AA. You can imagine how I looked. Built like a fridge, with acne and probably very sweaty. Didn't help that I always wanted to dress masc, but my mom religiously controlled my looks, so my only choice was wearing trashy track suits every day (that I initially had for gym class) when mom wasn't looking. If not, she forced me to dress "feminine" so I looked as elegant as an elephant in a tucky frilly dress. I also hated my long hair and wanted to cut it down, but my parents were furious at the suggestion, so I just ignored styling my hair and always wore a tight ponytail, which for some reason was hilarious to my classmates.
Not only that, but I always had very masculine hobbies. Like, joining the boys and going out to the fights after school. Or ganging up with my neighbors and going out to the other neighbors to bully local kids. Or exploring abounded building for the chance of finding an old cache of gas masks. That sort of thing. And video games. Lots of video games. My dad hated it and in fact smashed my laptop when I was played late into the night.
Guess all that made the class clown, didn't help that I never grew up and stopped being interested in kiddy stuff like cartoons and video games. I'm also not a lesbian, but never had an interest in boys, in fact I was a devout husbandofag for my whole life.
Because of all that, I never fittef in with anybody. For girl nerds, I was too crude and mannish. For normie women, I was a fucking joke. Boys ignored me after puberty (I wasn't pretty).
It all was a long time ago, and now I can pass as a normie, but I still can feel the impact of what happened to me in my teens.

No. 317412

Your parents sound so mean. Especially smashing your laptop
>bully local kids
If you actually bullied kids for fun wtf

No. 317459

I mostly get along with women, except for the fact that most of them are sexually submissive towards men and it makes me lose respect for them. I can't understand why a woman would let a man walk all over her, and I think it's extremely pathetic. It always disappoints me when eventually a woman I'm friends with starts talking about her sex life and it's all about how much of a pickme she is. Does anyone else feel similarly?

No. 317535

yeah, most women my age are and having babies with the nastiest most useless moids i've ever seen (although they're all nasty and useless) and it disgusts me so much I can't even befriend them.

No. 317539

It's truly weird af being a non-submissive straight woman. I can't wrap my head around how rare it is. I've learned to be tolerant of that side of women, but it does leave me feeling lonely. >>317459

No. 317548

I feel like I'm too self aware for the true "cringe and free" types but I'm not refined enough for more normal types and they end up looking down on me
All of my friends would either be stacy types that treated me like an ugly pet/emotional support animal and abused me, or demented girls that acted much younger than their age or had other antisocial behavior like writing friend fiction about our classmates, bad hygiene, etc
Maybe I'm just snooty and too quick to judge other women or I reject them mentally before I feel like they can reject me and they pick up on that. My self esteem is higher than it used to be but I'd like to interact with other women in more of a social middle ground not feeling such a disparity
Also I really am not the type to force something when me and a friend don't mesh if I find somebody annoying or stupid I just can't be their friend. I've tried to suck it up and just tell myself I'm being too mean but eventually I just get fed up and ghost

No. 317554

you're describing me to a T. I'm too "weird" (mostly due to interests and looks) for normies, but too normal (well-adjusted socially) for the real freaks. If you ever find a solution let me know.

No. 317575

It was mostly like a game, where we all go out to fuck around with other gangs of kids. I never picked up on innocent kids, just the guys who were up to it. Sure, you can get a bloody nose, but it's something you signed up for and knew the consequences. On other hand, we had nasty bullies who picked up on ugly or shy kids. Now they were hated by all.

No. 317583

That is always infuriating too.
I honestly don't think it's that rare, but probably most non-submissive women aren't that open about their sex life. I mean, vanilla women get laughed at, judged, and are called prudes. And if you like being in control other women will judge you too because "what about the poor innocent moid!!"

No. 317584


I trooned out at 13, wore a binder/buzz cut etc which lead to girls not wanting to be around me, which I found very validating. I eventually realised that I was 5'3 and would never pass so I went back to dressing like a girl. It sort of helped on the surface, girls will compliment my outfit or accessories sometimes, but it all goes to shit the second I open my mouth and my spergy unfiltered personality comes out. I feel sort of lied to, I thought if I lost weight and dressed feminine I would be accepted, though I like how I look.

No. 317637

>It sort of helped on the surface, girls will compliment my outfit or accessories sometimes, but it all goes to shit the second I open my mouth
Kek same for me. Throughout my life, I’ll have women approach me and compliment my style or makeup, but past the initial superficial meeting, it doesn’t work out. I guess my appearance is interesting enough but then we have nothing in common and they learn how socially awkward I am.

No. 317835

you girls are alright. for the longest time i felt out of place for being nonconforming, too passionate, brutally honest, failing my gendered socialization etc. but lurking here makes me realize i'm not alone and there are others who share my views. thanks lolcow!

No. 318032

Kek also same

No. 318042

Complimenting is something women do to break the ice, it doesn't mean much but if you react weirdly, you'll make it awkward.

No. 318052

nta but i can heavily relate to most of this. i wouldn't call myself super well adjusted socially (and i have very good reason to suspect i've got a little bit of the tism) but at the same time, the social rejects are… too much for me. i feel like im too autistic for normies and too normie for autists, and this applies not only to my personality traits but to basically everything kek. i feel like if it weren't for my close friends being the same way i'd go insane thinking there's something wrong with me

No. 318055

Oh, this thread is my home.
Context: I'm waiting for 'tism testing. I've always felt most comfortable having one friend at a time. My best friend from age 6 to 21 was male (gay though) and it was pretty much like a sibling relationship, we got on each others nerves but were always there for each other. After that my designated friend would be whatever boyfriend I had at the time (I'm 28 now).
Problem: I've always really keenly felt the lack of female friendship in my life, but I absolutely spill my spaghetti any time there's a woman I find interesting.
I made one friend in the last 5 years who I really connected with but I was so worried about coming on too strong that I've been ignoring her (I watched this happen to her with another of her female friends, she had to essentially break up with her because she got crazy clingy). I feel like shit about it all the time and I miss her. I'm almost positive she misses me too, which makes me feel worse, but I don't know how to handle being scared of rejection. I feel like I'd take a female friend breakup so much worse than any sort of male breakup, because male attention is ultimately kind of expendable to me. It hurts when I dream about her. It doesn't help that we're both bisexual and have been attracted to each other at various points.

No. 318176

My main problem is that I can't find female friends with similar interests and when I do they're usually a "he/him" or "non-binary", you know the drill. So the second I do meet a girl with similar interests who isn't drinking the gender coolaid, I get too hopeful and I worry I come across as desperate. I find it hard to be friends with people who I don't share at least one interest with, so most of my friends are guys. When I go to spaces for my hobby IRL or online they're usually full of men, sometimes when there is a girl there we do get along but it never becomes a deeper friendship.

Also, I will probably be disliked for saying this here and I understand why but from my experiences women do tend to be more judgemental than men. Sometimes, this is a good thing, Many times, it is a bad thing. I feel like men are generally more accepting of weirdos no matter their gender for better and for worse. It overall makes me more hesitant to open up to women until we're comfortable together. It's the hedgehog dillema I guess. I'm afraid of opening up to most women and being met with cruelty, but because I don't open up I won't ever get a close female friend. Am I making sense?
I feel like I always have to remain too, idk, professional around other women I guess. I have to always behave the way they expect me to and act how they want me to. This is both a combination of past past experiences and self-inflicted. I want women to like me. Because I don't care about men liking me I feel more free to act myself… which ironically is what develops genuine friendships.
I'd do many things to get a female best friend who I feel I can act myself around, talk about almost anything to whenever and share our interests together.

No. 318222

I always say thanks and offer tips on how to do makeup if they ask. Usually I’ll even compliment something back to be nice. I wouldn’t think that’s awkward at all. Still, I can just never get past that initial “ice breaker” with women, maybe they expect me to keep the conversation going myself, but I’m not all that talkative which I know is another problem in and of itself.
>I'm afraid of opening up to most women and being met with cruelty, but because I don't open up I won't ever get a close female friend.
You hit the nail on the head anon. And I agree, in my experience women tend to be more judgmental about someone’s interests, hobbies, and even taste in music. My interests aren’t strange or niche to men (because it’s more common among them), but normie women look at me like I’m a weirdo when I tell them. It’s not a good feeling being judged whenever you try to open up, so I usually don’t say much about myself until I’m comfortable enough around the person. Feels like I’m stuck in a catch-22. Can’t make friends if I don’t “open up”, but I won’t “open up” until I feel comfortable somebody, but that somebody probably won’t feel comfortable with me until I do “open up”.

No. 318227

Omg I found just the thread for me. I always felt like I couldn't fit in with other girls/women/peers my age. This is for multiple reasons mostly because I am disabled and use a wheelchair and I have a "cute" face and look girly but I have mostly nerdy interests like video games/anime/fanfic. I feel like a lot of girls treat met like a pet or a little kid that couldn't do anything for myself. I thought it would change when I met other disabled girls/women but no I remember in high school me and another girl in a wheelchair got paired for an assignment and we didn't get along due to opposite personalities yet because of us working together everyone thought we would be best friends. Like they would ask me questions about her like we were friends like if I was going to her birthday party I would say "No she isn't my friend." which they would be shocked "huh? she isn't" it was so awkward.

I also met a couple of other disabled women but they are moid loving pickmeshas so it gets frustrating around them because I only date women.

No. 318241

seriously, what is the 'other' quality? how do they sniff it :(

inb4 hygiene joke. externally, e.g. if you looked at a photo of me, you would think I were a basic, socially-adjusted person. I don't dress weird, I know how to do my makeup and hair, not fat, etc. but as soon as I have to interact people get the impression of 'weird.' I know social rules, I add tone to my voice, be friendly, small talk, try to make appropriate facial expressions, have good posture, generally try not to seem like a socially unadjusted autist hikki but still come across as 'weird.'

I wonder if it's just best to be unapologetically oneself… I generally like who I am and for some reason situations where I'm less tense (e.g. drunk, girls are really nice to me and genuine-seeming at a club but that might also be because they're drunk), as a kid before I developed much self awareness, or mental hospital when I was young (but maybe not a good metric for evaluating social success) have been the only times where I haven't just been called weird behind my back. For me, it's less of a blow to be judged as weird if I'm being genuine, than if I'm trying my best to assimilate. However, I find it extremely difficult to try not to mask. It's like an automatic customer service voice/face, except I'm clearly not even very good at it (I think I come across as stiff, stilted)(. :( )

No. 318695

hahaha no it's nothing tangible. they literally 'just know'. I can't quantify it. the only thing that has helped me hide it is by being really quiet and barely talking.

No. 318696

Being the mute with nothing to say is absolutely going to make you appear normal. Totally.

No. 318698

I didn't say mute. being the 'quiet and shy' agreeable type who doesn't talk much can go a long way especially compared to being opinionated and blunt, if you don't find it tedious.

No. 318705

ntayrt but being like this is literally why people think I'm weird in the first place kek. To the point where I've been mistaken for having a mental disability multiple times, or if not that they'll keep asking why I'm being quiet over and over and over. Idk if it depends on the area but opinionated and blunt women were seen as more normal ime.

No. 318710

It’s why people think I’m “weird” too. I naturally have a more quiet personality, I’ve been that way a long time. I’m a little louder once I get to know somebody, but not by much.
Like you said, I think it depends on the area you’re in. Some cultures see silence as intelligence, meanwhile in other countries it’s more typical for people to be loud and opinionated.
Being nice and quiet hasn’t really worked out for me when making lasting friendships. Sure people think I’m nice, but I don’t get invited anywhere. I don’t make it past “acquaintance”. I’ve seen rude loud people make more friends, at least where I’m from.

No. 318711

>it does feel like sometimes there's a "right" and "wrong" way to be attracted to women as a bi woman
kek yes, i’m a febfem as well and I generally avoid anything more than a glance at or (platonic) physical contact with women so I don’t somehow come off like a creep. I wish straight women knew we are nothing like scrotes, this is I think where a lot of it comes from.

No. 318714

Heh are you me anon? Won’t elaborate but because of shit in my childhood even though I was a pick me until my late teens I grew up kind of hating women and being apathetic towards men. Though since discovering radical feminism I realized what I hated were men and women who willingly partnered with them. Almost all of them are complete doormats for men, which is infuriating enough but a lot will also serve your head on a plate for their "nigel" without a second thought. Don’t get me wrong I would choose any woman over a man in a second but time and time again i see this type of thing from the way they let their abusive males rape their daughters all while refusing to leave to the way they drop year long female friendships in favor of their male partners. When most talk about their relationships I just can’t help but roll my eyes afterwards, I didn’t understand their desperation for relationships with mediocre males then, and I understand it even less now.
>Does anyone else feel similarly?
Yes, I greatly enjoy female friendships nonetheless so I just try to dissociate and nod when they talk about their relationship problems.

No. 319038

File: 1680119120429.png (149.33 KB, 839x513, 1.png)

>suffer from selective mutism and have an autistic obsession with hobbies that happen to be male dominated
>dont actually know if im autistic but wouldn't be surprised
>abusive mom scares off any potential friends
>never had makeup pushed onto me so i never got into it and when i did try it i didn't like the texture
>majority of women in my area are into makeup/fashion/disney and other normie stuff or music but we have wildly different music tastes
this sounds so cringe of me but im being serious i dont judge them for it.
>every time i try to have a convo with them i really feel so fucking retarded and autistic
>especially when they ask why i'm doing some hand movement or whatever
>we never actually become friends im either that "uptight bitch" for being quiet/shy, they're cool with me but theres no deeper connection or desire to be close friends, or im just respectfully ignored. never the first choice basically
>every time i talk to a normie i feel like im performing because i speak in a monotone and im very blunt and deadpan without meaning to be
>they think its hilarious and i just feel like a circus monkey at this point
>refuse to be friends with moids because i learned my lesson
>was on 4chan in my teen years and immersed in internet culture so all my jokes and shit are from that and cringe/goes over their heads and sadly i have an easier time socializing with moids because of this
the closest i got to normiehood was when i got engaged and all the women at my job wanted to see the ring and talk about wedding stuff it was really nice. id like a nice group of female friends but its just very obvious im "off". i always felt like i had a mark on me that deemed me a weirdo or something that says theres something wrong with me. when i was little i felt like i was from pluto and couldn't be from earth. it just makes me very sad. when i was younger i tried so hard but i gave up at this point. i have 0 close friends its just me and my husband. i've only been able to have a convo with his friends, and recently his friend got married and i've been talking to the wife but it feels off. sometimes i feel like she's mocking me but i think thats just my trauma with being bullied by popular girls. or like if our husbands weren't friends she would probably not even try and just block me. im probably autistic

No. 319048

So I went to an all girls school, I had a few friends but never really felt like one of the gang I guess.
I’m also genetically pre disposed to a giant ass so during the time I went through puberty, when Indie sleaze was in and girls with rake thin legs in tiny skirts was the vogue thing I could not relate at all to fashion.
Don’t get me wrong I love clothes, but I did struggle for a long time to find styles that both represent my own style and personality and flatter my shape.
Anyway, since school I have been in larger female orientated friendships, but generally my social style is to have a small circle I am right with and just generally know other people from around/the ‘scene’.
Recently what I struggle with in my scene is almost every AFAB girl in my vicinity identifying as non binary, but still throwing dinner parties/drinks for just the girls? But nobody will actually admit they are a woman? I just can’t get my head around it? I just spent an evening at a bar with the group and everyone was talking about how they are ‘not a girl’ and complaining about getting misgendered at work.
Since I started hanging out with this group I’ve also noticed other aquaintsnces and friends calling me ‘they’ when I never asked for it, they just assume that because I know these people I’m non binary too. I feel I can’t say ‘no I’m she’ without someone looking at me like I’m trans phobic for /not/ identifying as trans.
It’s the same bullshit cliques from school except now I’m in the in crowd and have no idea how I even got here!

No. 319059

I am recently desisted and just recently have realized I have no fucking idea how I'm supposed to be a woman. All my teen life I have forced my voice down and worn baggy, boxy clothes and cut my hair short like a typical aiden. I am about to be 19 and I legitimately feel lost. I don't know how to be a normal teenage girl and it hurts. It doesn't help with the fact that most of my interests have moid-dominated spaces and I'm an autist. I just wear skirts instead of jeans with my band t-shirts and do my eyeliner and pretend I know what I'm doing. I feel miserable and still dysphoric.

No. 319060

There's no "way" to be a woman, one is either a human female or isn't. A woman with a masculine style and interests is equally a woman as one with feminine style and interests. I never wore a skirt or makeup during my teen years and you don't have to either. You can keep your hair short if you like it better that way. Peer pressure is hard, I'm sorry. It gets better and you get more resilient to it over time. Finding women more like you in IRL (if you can) and online spaces can help a lot - cowboyjen is a butch lesbian who has a tumblr and tiktok, for example. For my dysphoria - ymmv, but exercising/moving more and practicing body neutrality helped a lot. Habitually cutting my dysphoric spirals short by totally focusing on something else that would take all my attention helped a lot (loud music, a game, etc). Idk how much of these you're trying already but lmk if I should elaborate.

No. 319061

Just wear what actually makes you comfortable, stop scrolling social media and comparing yourself to ultra feminine women if this kind of femininity isn't what you're actually vibing with. From my experience, forcing myself to perform femininity only made my dysphoria worse.

No. 319071

do you actually want to put on makeup and wear skirts? because it sounds like you don't want to. So if that's the case just stop. I got into makeup and dresses/skirts in late high school because I felt like I was immature for not learning feminine styling like my friends. Bought contour kits and eyelash curlers and form fitting dresses and heels and assumed it would start feeling normal to me if I just forced myself to do it for long enough. It never did, the feeling of walking around like a clown persisted indefinitely because these "styles" are actually objectively uncomfortable and impractical and silly. If you don't get indoctrinated into it thoroughly during your developmental years it will never feel normal to you.

No. 319111

Just don't stress about it. There is nothing wrong with having male-dominated interests, don't force yourself to wear skirts if you don't want to. It doesn't mean anything other than you like a certain thing.

Keep wearing whatever clothes you want but I advice you to get non-casual (graphic t-shirts and jeans) clothes to add some variety when the occasion calls, this is just from personal experience. Don't force yourself to be a certain way you'll never be happy that way

No. 319205

Ayrt, I don't dress in a traditionally feminine style now, I'm more gothic than anything. I like skirts and my wild eyeliner, I just feel so.. insecure. Thank you for the advice about wardrobe though, I do need more clothes that aren't casual. And for the advice about coping with dysphoria. I am fat but am trying to weight train and eat better. I hope I can be more comfortable with myself as I go on with my life. I appreciate you nonas.

No. 319286

I went from androgynous tomboy to this in 12th grade, because I had a crush on a nerdy weeby girl and wanted to get closer to her friend group.

No. 319300

I can relate to most other women on most things but what I can’t relate is the awful type of moids they seem to date. It feels like almost every woman I know is dating a god awful man or just a complete twat, and I genuinely can’t stand to hear about these losers and the stuff women put up with in these relationships. I have grown apart from certain friends because they dated such shitty scummy moids and would never leave them no matter how terrible their actions and behavior was, it was tiresome. I also can’t relate to the submission kink most other women have and the desire to be manhandled and ‘put in their place’. Even some of my feminists friends have fetishes for this kind of stuff and I find it very disappointing. I absolutely despise ‘dominant’ or controlling moid behavior and it just makes me want to slice mens heads off with a katana, so when I see other women fetishizing and praising it, it gives me the ick.

No. 319420

I belong in this thread. Swear to God ive never felt so understood as I have in this thread. I don't know how women walk around humoring most men, for the shit they get in return. It looks like a long running joke on them 90% of the time. I saw what you describe continually growing up. I was always astonished how they couldn't see it when women pranced around looking like the butt end of a joke emotional laboring for a low tier role/ dynamic that gives them no pride. Nothing.

Why the hell does women's socializing have to be so full of drama instead of joking around? Why can't we just never take anything too seriously? mostly forget men? They need us more than we need them.

Do most women just silently agree to having some sort of low status?? Is that how it works? How do they feel theyll get anything real or long term out of male relations when the stakes are so damn low and the moid, so damn dumb, ugly, blatantly predatory or both?? How does this fucking work?? I've NEVER understood most women because i cannot and will not pretend to like that tiresome performace that gets you nowhere but mentally diminished? It doesn't matter if your attractive or unattractive, the attractive ones just become performers horrified of stepping out of line everything about them becomes hollowed out and watered down. What difference does it make when that's the sum total of your personality in the end? trashed selfworth, trashed by abuse, no sense of humor, nothing but death circles around the male ego and opinion.

I don't care how many people it offends that I'm "cruelly unable to empathize" with the shitshow that is so normal in most places. I'm hostile towards needing to understand to be honest. Most of the time i was the one accomodating for imbeciles, it was never the other way around. Especially in the beginning.

More than anything I'm just blessed as fuck I was isolated as hell growing up. I used to think it was a curse. Ignored at home. Ignored ignored or watching silently on the inside and learned to love solitude. The other option just looked like a complete shitshow to me. I remember growing up around it as a teen. Watching the hells escalate into truly dissatisfying psychosocial warfare on countless occasions. You would have looked at me back then and called me a loner or shy but I was really just having NONE OF IT when I was 15. Maybe what I saw in my mom and dad turned me stone cold to all female performance. Idk. I just receded into the background. Not apologetic at all and never will be.

No. 319422

I agree. I can't stand it. When women start dating a man, he becomes 70% or more of her conversation topics. Everything relates back to their moids. Which might be okay if any of them were remotely interesting or tolerable, but somehow none of them are. I had a friend tell me "funny stories" about how she cleans up after her moid's nightly drunken messes and when I didn't react in amusement she got so defensive. Now I'm getting to the age where my peers are getting married and thinking about starting families, and I'm realizing i likely won't find many women to connect with as they all slowly becomes boymoms or wifeys.

An additional awful part is the pity and condescension male partnered women show towards you if you're straight and don't partake in dating scrotes. You're treated like a child who's not on their level because you've never been willing to debase yourself for a moid. If you straight up say you're not interested in it they assume you've got something wrong with you, poor thing, or they need to help you come out of your unflirty shell. It's absolutely intolerable.

No. 319423

>I absolutely despise ‘dominant’ or controlling moid behavior and it just makes me want to slice mens heads off with a katana, so when I see other women fetishizing and praising it, it gives me the ick
Same, its very creepy. I personally like very meek men, i understand liking someone with confidence but the "dominance" they seemingly want on a man is so…unappealing and frankly terrifying, i just run away from those types
You're extremely real for this post and i appreciate you deeply nonna, you and i would be great friends. Speak your truth and fuck everyone telling you to rationalize moid crazy behavior, it shouldn't be normal and it makes zero fucking sense because its literally mass delusion caused and encouraged by moids. I always wondered if there was a silent agreement to accept all this shit too and it fills me with sadness, is incredible the way misogyny affects women to such extents.

Everyone tells me is normal and okay but i can help but feel extreme frustration and existential dread seeing so many women go in circles over such shitty, unfulfilling, invaluable relationships, its total madness for me

No. 319442

You don't have to change anything about yourself outwardly or internally. If you're here on this site it means you probably already know that none of that makes a woman a woman– only biology says that you're a woman. Just keep living as you, wearing what you feel is comfortable and liking what makes you happy. At you're age, you might not know what those things are yet, or those things might be liable to change… But that's just what it is to be human. Life is a work in progress. It's easy to say and difficult to actually do, but try not to stress too much about what's "correct" for a teenage girl and just live. That's enough and anybody who tells you elsewise is unfortunately doing themselves a disservice by holding themselves and others to arbitrary standards.
I'm speaking from experience, but attempting to shape yourself, however successfully, into what you think will allow you to mesh with others is an impermanent satisfaction. It may work for a while, that sweet return of social success in exchange for stuffing yourself into a mold. But ultimately, you end up feeling hollow, knowing that they only like a fabrication. It's far better to embrace loneliness and live working to understand what clicks for you as an individual. Strict enforcement of social norms in regards to gender seem to melt away as you grow older and settle into spaces that accomodate you. And at that time, like-minded women gravitate towards each other.

No. 319464

I have news for you you can tell them all the one-sided laboring of married life looks like a shameful hell to you, and they will quickly shut up. Or they will get it and never speak of it again.

I am 37 years old and I can't tell you how much I became more grateful every year that dodged so many bullets. I don't have half the domestic hells my sisters have. I thank fucking God everyday i do not live with a man.

Inflation gets worse and worse and it seems money is becoming a scrambled concept lately. I'm glad I don't have to anticipate the inflated cost of life and college for any offspring.

No. 319467

Nonnie you are not alone. I also could never understand why normie women are totally fine with how the world is. I really don't understand why most women are so obsessed with catering to the male ego. Even in woman-only discussions when there are men around to impress women will still defend and excuse the vilest shit males do, and they know just great males would never do the same for women. Now when feminism went mainstream I thought most women will analyze the way males exploit them and do something about that, but it feels like they are fully aware of how they behave and why and still think this is how it should be.

No. 319468

Nonnie it's kind of late but don't listen to the boring normie nonnies here. They just don't understand you. Buts it's okay if you find other people boring, most of them literally do not have any brain activity.

No. 319470

Seeing other people who talk like this in real life would be unreal. Like talking to an alien unfortunately, even to me. I never talk to be anyone like this irl, only online. In r/twox etc. I guess I just assume all of you live in big cities, pursuing careers and witchcraft and whatnot. I live in a fast growing "small town" between two huge cities. But it's redneckville..

How do you think theyd of arrived at a silent agreement like that? If you could deduce the terms of it, what would they be?

I do feel like things have changed a lot since back then, (miraculously) But im not in school anymore. Sometimes I feel like I can't gauge where "normal" is. Where my things begin and end… If you go on some online womens spaces this kind of talk is all you get. On tiktok there's a shit ton. You could never have conversations like this in 2004-9 though. You could only watch in silent horror and have no full way of describing the disgust at things around you.

For me personally, I had a different outlook before the internet, porn and revenge porn. It's wierd how I grew up right alongside it at the exact same time. I cant even tell where the real me began, and rage at the performance ended because of porn. Was it actually all really because porn lowered the value of everything I saw by a lot? It was like society took a HUGE plunge off a porn cliff at one point and it never went back to normal for me.

You shouldn't let it get you down though, because in ways things have evolved for the better, especialy the ways women talk so candidly. Radfeminism is a lot better now. You should live with tons of satisfaction and post about your freedoms to everyone you know. Honestly in a ton of situations ALL theyre aiming for is your insecure reaction to them or disapproval. So give them the opposite. Post about your bliss 24/7.

They know, the performance they put on is low tier shit but they don't know how to do anything else, so they feel trapped. The wierd result is they gun for reactions from/ try to fake superiority over people who don't play low return games for crappy moids.

They will talk down to people who don't perform shit tier for shit points. Try to tangle you in it and brainwash you down into the self loathing hole with them, by pointing out everything wrong with you they can think of.

So never feel upset. Just relish never having to be being a part of it. Post about your freedoms to the online network. The second they start criticizing everything you do is when you know they're getting defensive of their low tier bs.

No. 319472

They just don't know how to do anything else, so they aim low.

No. 319479

I don't get why other ITT reacted so negatively. It's not like she's talking about cheating her way through women and trampling them underfoot at work. If she's chill with how she is and feels that she's enjoying life, then that's fine? Maybe she'll regret it later, maybe she won't, that's her shit to deal with.

No. 319503

>Now I'm getting to the age where my peers are getting married and thinking about starting families, and I'm realizing i likely won't find many women to connect with as they all slowly becomes boymoms or wifeys.
samefag & I dread thinking about it
>You could never have conversations like this in 2004-9 though. You could only watch in silent horror and have no full way of describing the disgust at things around you.
This exactly, on the web at least, but have things changed that much really? It feels talk talk talk because you look around and… >>319467 I remember somebody saying that if you look at conservative and liberal women much of their behavior is the same, at the end of the day they suck their man’s dick the same, they bear emotional and household labor the same, they just vote for different parties.

No. 319505

> I have my shit together, I make good money, I'm attractive and fit, masculine and don't take shit from men, competent and smart, etc etc.
Anons will tell you you're a narcissist but being smart, having a good career and being independent DOES mean you're better than people who don't have those stuff. Acting like a mentally ill homeless jobless woman is better than this anon is delusional and only unemployed losers would agree to such beliefs. Like let's be honest, would you rather be friends with this anon or the weird NEET/unemployed loser neighbor of yours?

No. 319506

Weird NEET loser 100%

No. 319508

Never really had close girl friends, so when I finally had one I love bombed her and treated her almost like a princess. She was BPD anyway and we had a falling out, naturally. I don't have girl friends anymore and find it really hard not to be a doormat with friends.

No. 319510

Im also a huge doormat with friends and I hate it

No. 319512

I stopped talking to one of my friends (who was a TiF) because she prioritized men over everything else. When I told her that one of my grandparents was dying of cancer, she just gave a half-assed “sorry” and immediately just went on about her boyfriend. That was the last straw for me. The guy was such fucking trash too and a disgusting loser who didn't treat her with any respect. She even treated his tendency to be a slob as if it were some charming quirk. The guy would leave food to rot in his kitchen and she thought that was so fucking funny and quirky.

I also had another friend who drifted away because she was insanely obsessed with her loser moid and would never stop talking about him. It was to the point where she thought about switching careers completely to work in the same place as her moid. She even brought up him "looking white" to me and a group of friends as if that was something so utterly amazingly attractive about him (me and my friends are all non-white FYI). Really hate these women who place moids on a pedestal and never see how trash they are.

No. 319518

Tbh the amount of women I run into who say they prefer to be single over being in a bad relationship boggles my mind a bit, so yeah. I am the same. Would much rather be single. In fact it's so much better to be single, it's so pleasant I truly don't know if I can go back.

Also the birthrate is plummeting which is a good thing.

No. 319519

the birth rate is not actually plummeting, unfortunately

No. 319544

I most places it is.

No. 319551

Nona, your post hits hard. Especially the part about how being ignored and growing up being detached from the people around you makes you observe all of this hell from a perspective that sees no worth in it. My mom was and still is stuck in a shitty relationship with a low grade emotionally impaired moid (my dad) and watching her sacrifice herself time and time again while he does absolutely nothing is so depressing and I would never want a life like that for myself. I understand why women allow themselves to be exploited like that because it's literally programmed into us since birth, but I hate how everyone acts like it's a force of nature that can't be meddled with. It's like all women fear that if they stand up for themselves, men will collectively take away our rights - sort of what has happened with the abortion rights being revoked in the US completely as a reaction to the popularity of feminism.

But that said, the main reason seems to ultimately be the absolute concern over remaining attractive to men: you can't be the mean bitch setting up boundaries for the men around you or he'll stop seeing you as a person. The women I know might be very staunch feminists but when they have to stand the fuck up and tell a man to stop, they immediately turn their heads to avoid ever exposing themselves as anything else but the Cool Girls. It's so depressing and disillusioning that it actually makes me want to rope thinking back to all the times I expected them to have my back only to be disappointed in their nonexistent spine.

God, yes. I'm now in my 30's and in that exact age of the women I know getting married and having kids, and I dread this every single day. Even the childfree women become those "wifeys" who lose all their interest in everything outside of their homes and just want to stay indoors with their shitty husbands or they bring their "hubby" literally everywhere they go like he was some sort of an emotional support pet. I'm hoping that things settle when we're in our 40's to 50's and everyone has finally blackpilled on men and just want to get outside of their homes.

No. 319610

Yes but who gives a fuck about most men since they're breath-takingly ugly unless they're young and breathtakingly ugly in personality even more ??? There's is literally not much to be attracted to accept in really rare cases. It's so much easier and more fun to sever from their shit entirely and ngaf. No amount of charm makes me unsee what they usually do, as a group.

Dating itself. The entire whirlwind of shitty interaction you encounter seeking out a moid. It takes away all motivation for me and I notice a ton of the same from other women online.

No. 319636

It is in developed countries. Though the declining rates of marriages mean a lot of babies are also being born into single mothers without financial support which isn't great for the mother. I've seen statistics state more than half of the children in European countries are born out of wedlock which isn't a good thing at all for the women who have to raise them on their own.

No. 319832

File: 1680515163929.png (524.86 KB, 1024x576, Keep_Your_Hands_Off_Eizoouken_…)

It's going to sound autistic and irrelevant to some of you social nonnies but it is a big deal for me. So, I have no interest in social interaction at all, so I don't have friends or romantic interests. And because of this, media means basically everything to me. But it's so difficult to find something I would actually like. I don't like media/anime made for female auditory, it's either innocent or cute either it is focused on male characters, and I'm not interested in retarded male butts. I like edgy animes made for male auditory but they are so coomerish and scroty. And I know there is a type of media made for tifs, like the owl house and she ra that have some GNC female characters, but again it's too cute/childish.
So basically I only like female characters that are masculine/ugly/edgy and they barely exist because people hate women who are not cute(made for normie girls) or sexualized (made for males). The only time I saw people drawing female characters in a way I like was steven universe OCs.
Also, I want to Be The Change I Want To See and make bjd dolls in the style I Like but I will probably never get any support because of my retarded preference. I wish I was just a normal fujo, I would have so many things made for me. Or a normie girl who would like things made for normie girls. I wish I could relate to other lesbians who like real women.

No. 319834

Same nonnies, it happens because you feel so lonely. But people feel it when you are lonely and will try to use it so the best thing is to pretend you don't care too much. Takes time to stop being a doormat but you have to do this if you don't want to be constantly disappointed in social interactions.

No. 320015

I sort of relate to this because while I can tolerate skinny/pale/feminine MCs in shoujo and whatnot, and enjoy it, even though they're not my ideal representation of myself (which I guess is to be expected since my personality and expression is not exactly average, other women and girls probably relate more to them than me) i also struggle to find female characters that are just like you and me. You will never find an appropriate representation of weird or GNC women that isn't meant to be fetishized for scrotes in anime, except on rare occasions that you probably already know about and can count on one hand. In the west, our kind of weirdness is practically unheard of among the people who create media, or these days is replaced by gendershit.
I've heard from nonnies that Reagan from Inside Job is one of those rare instances of an unfeminine female protagonist being portrayed as a completely normal person instead of being a joke or sexualized. I haven't watched it so i can't confirm but it's next on my watchlist, the protag looks just like me kek.
>I will probably never get any support because of my retarded preference
Don't be so sure. I bet there are many women out there who feel the same way as you and since they have never seen anything like that before they don't even think it's a realistic possibility, or they also believe that no other woman would want to see it.
>in that exact age of the women I know getting married and having kids
Now that you guys are talking about it, i'm starting to dread the day every woman around me that i could've potentially befriended even if they're more normie than me, every woman i've befriended so far but haven't talked to in ages, all my female cousins, gets married and stops having the time to go out with me. And since i don't want to date moids I don't know where the hell i'll go to find female friends. I'll only have my male coworkers to talk to. I'm a loner myself, usually, but being alone forever would drive me crazy.

No. 320023

I totally understand your issue. I want to write a comic that has sort of realistic and edgy characters. I dont know much about media with women who are GNC or like that, so the only thing i can think of is being the change i'd want to see.
I can relate, though, and there are probably a lot of women out there like us.

No. 320052

To be fair, I love seeing sexualized women in videogames and such because of my bisexuality but there is a point where its too much
Characters like Pyra from Xenoblade Chronicles 2 and Keira Metz from Witcher 3 come to mind
They are just so boring and useless story and gameplay wise. Their only purpose is to constantly hint at wanting to fuck the main protagonist
As soon as a female character is sexy and doesn't want to romance the player, moids go into an infernal rage and review bomb the game lmao

No. 320061

I dont fit in anywhere, even most of the nonas on this board are 2edgy4me.

No. 320089

Same, it's something I feel guilty for as a lesbian, but I agree that lot of the coomer/fanservice stuff that's "too much" is really gross. I think there's a big difference than a woman that has a sexy design and full-blown male gaze shit where the character just resembles a caricature instead of a real human.

That's imageboard culture in general, it's why I tend to prefer talking to people in private, but private spaces that aren't full of herd mentality and are chill are hard to find.

No. 320092

I am extremely embarassed to say this but lolcow is the pretty much the only place where I can actually interact with other women. I have very few friends, mostly online, and ALL of them are male (consequences of autism and the internet). The only real female friends I ever got were my childhood besties that now live pretty far away, and we barely ever contact each other nowadays. Could also count that small aiden group chat I was port of back when I was a tif, but I had to cut them off once I peaked and desisted. I see all of you nonnas talking about female solidarity and how fulfilling female friendships can be, while I'm here not even close to knowing what it's like.
I'm often disappointed by men around me (misogyny, degeneracy etc) and can clearly see their lack of empathy and understanding of my experiences as a woman. But often, they have similar nerdy interests and I can sort of relate to them in other ways. Whereas whenever I try to socialize with women, normie or not, it feels satisfying at first because there's no moidish bullshit and I can freely discuss female-specific issues with them, but besides that ? I either feel like I have nothing in common with them outside of my sex, or I'm too goofy/autistic for them. So as a result, I'm stuck in this endless cycle of loneliness where I just never feel understood. Like men will always just see me as a sex object, and fellow women will always just see me as a failure.
Though I know I'm far from being the only lonely, nerdy, "masculine" woman out there. I might just be unlucky. Might just be autism and low self-esteem. But man it's depressing and I probably can't do anything about it besides trying over and over again. Sometimes I'm tempted to troon out again honestly.

No. 320100

i don't think women would see you as a failure anon. im biased bc ive spent most of my life around mostly female peers i guess, but if anything its the men i interact with who are unable to look past the fact im a young woman & i think they think i have nothing to of value to add to a conversation & im not pretty enough for them to go out of their way to interact with me kek. women treat me more like an equal human being.
im kind of like you in that im pretty autistic and sometimes have a hard time relating to traditional femininity. obviously the easy answer is 'find women who share your same hobbies', but in the workplace etc where you're most likely to be interacting with women i think thats not always realistic unless you're into normie stuff like netflix or working out or certain music. for me personally… i have a good surface level knowledge of makeup and skincare and i like thrift/vintage shopping, and i think those are pretty common things for young women to be into these days. it makes me feel a bit less like an autist when i can hold a pleasant conversation with someone asking about their skincare routine or something.
anyway anon, i wish you the best of luck in finding female friends. being surrounded by male friends cannot be good for your mental health, genuinely idk how the terminal pickmes can live like that kek

No. 320235

Thanks for your response nonna.
I was able to find women with similar interests (mostly scientific stuff), but when interacting with them it kinda felt like they perceived me as weird or too scrotish.
I'm a chemistry nerd and that gives a good amount of knowledge on skincare formulation, so perhaps I could use that to get into normie conversations at uni. Besides that, I really hate makeup and other normie stuff lol In the end the best bet would probably be to befriend fellow gnc women…

No. 320298

Thanks, nonnie, I guess I should just try and perhaps there are women out there who will like my hideous femcel dollies.
I have watched the inside job and it's really cool and sexualizes scrotes instead of female characters.
I wish I knew what your comic is about. Would it is too retarded to leave a throwaway e-mail somewhere out there?

No. 320323

Chemistry fren…. I’m a chemistry nerd too, I was going to focus on VSEPR before I dropped out… what are your areas nonny

No. 320344

omg another chem nonny
I'm studying pharmacology so mostly pharmaceutical organic synthesis and analytical chem. Boom boom inorganic stuff is fun too.

No. 320532

File: 1680856069680.jpg (24.87 KB, 400x395, Baldurlegal@proton.me.jpg)

comic anon yrt. And sure, i don't see why not

No. 320559

File: 1680869575651.jpg (99.43 KB, 1280x720, mynonnies@proton.me.jpg)

kek Nonni I meant I can leave mine and I think I will anyway, I need more nonnie-like friends in this retarded world

No. 320903

all of this exists in abundance in books, though this varies a lot by genre and audience, but…. i get its not the same at all. i too want the flash and charm of some of my favorite games or anime but with female characters worth a damn.
and like i said, books arent perfect either, even books by women (though women are dominating in literature right now and putting out insanely good shit). i remember being really disappointed by high fantasy written by women who for some fucking reason decide to pen their beloved epics about some annoying, cliche scrote protagonist instead of a gnc girl just like them. and dont get me started on male authors in the more literary genres who want the clout of a female protag but infuse the entire work with their voyeuristic fantasy of what female outsiderdom is like. im reading a book right now that i do enjoy but sometimes i cant help but feel like the author is writing a girl he wishes he dated in highschool, just like that high fantasy female author id been recommended seemed to be writing a male hero she felt would get her more respect.

No. 320932

You're right nonnie, I should read more. Also, I never read male authors because I don't want to kek. Offtopic, but do we have a writing/fanfiction thread?

No. 321813

What is that with normie/straight women romanticizing dating grandpas? It's not only a Tumblr coquette nlog thing, I see it commonly, even my friend (a fellow farmer mind you) dates a man older than her for no reason. I guess I could understand wanting to date a guy 10 years older if he is really rich, but wanting to fuck actual geriatric nasty crusty old men? What is wrong with normie women?
I mean, when scrotes want to date older women it's usually manchildren who want a woman who will take responsibility for them plus porn brainrot, it's not a common thing like with women.
Imagine watching this retarded music video and thinking "wow it's so hot this man who is so old he is minutes away from death is my dream daddy" and women in the comment literally write this.

No. 321814

File: 1681643216910.jpg (83.62 KB, 660x660, wp-content.jpg)

I genuinely think it's some form for advanced pickmeism. "Unlike other cruel women who only date men in their age range, I date grandpas!!! not dating grandpas will hurt mens feelings and we don't want that! Women who have standards for the men they date are superficial unlike me who is openminded". Men has also done a good job convincing young women to date old men. Just look at the age gaps between the actors in movies

No. 321820

I think part of my problem is that I see (nearly) every relationship/connection I make as something temporary. I'm in such a weird position socially (in college far from home + moved away from hometown so kind of doubly isolated).
I don't mind being alone tbh, I don't find it to be very detrimental though I do enjoy company. I spend pretty much my entire summer alone when I'm not at school. But every friend I've made in college feels like the timer is going to hit 0 when I graduate and I'll never hear from them again. I care about them, sure, but it feels like we're only hanging out with each other only because of circumstance. I've started approaching conflict like this too, thinking "even if this goes wrong, in 3 years we won't even think about each other so whatever happens doesn't really matter."
I'm an idiot that likes to pretend fictional characters are my friends (not in a "im delusional and think these people are real" sense but in a funny little imagined fantasy sense), so isn't it kind of pathetic that most of my "friends" live in my head lmfao?

Nothing that happens right now seems to matter to me because my entire situation all around feels temporary. I've been putting off trying to pursue a serious relationship/make any deep romantic connections with any women I'm interested in because my mindset is "we date in college, and then we're going to go back to our home states, and I know I won't be willing to move or sacrifice any job opportunities for anyone else so there's no point in acting like we'll be together forever because long distance online relationships feel fake."
But I'm kind of afraid that I'll never stop acting like everything is temporary to an insignificant degree.

The only relationships I have that have lasted for more than a few years are the three close female friends I managed to connect with and create a deep relationship with (through shared experience and mutual love and care more than shared interests tbh) over middle/high school, and I seriously treasure them, but when i try to think about any other lasting friendships I come up blank. I hope we do actually stick together for the long run, or else I'm totally at a loss when it comes to making a relationship that lasts. Maybe it'll be easier to see things as permanent once I graduate.

No. 321824

File: 1681651421462.jpg (65.23 KB, 984x942, 1680106924589.jpg)

>ex furry
>ex gendie

idk nona

No. 321836

I think it's because they want to be
A) rich
B) taken care of
C) have their scrote die off early so they can reap those benefits without him

No. 321850

Must be something in your social circles because I don't see this happen in mine whatsoever. All my friends date guys their own ages.

No. 321899

File: 1681667276467.jpg (39.72 KB, 640x359, 1c36aef4a2fa4d4ab18a323983c1ca…)

That's me except I don't put any effort into it and couldn't care less for LDR.

No. 321910

Id date a 99 year old man if I knew he was gonna die soon and leave some of his fortune but most girls anon talked about just date old guys with shit jobs who can't get women their age

No. 321923

Extremely low self esteem, they don't see themselves as enough to keep a decent man so they try to stack their deck. If they are the young, hot one of the couple, they think they have an eternal advantage and are less likely to get dumped/cheated on etc. Unfortunately for them, they don't realize that a 30 year old man with a 20 year old doesn't want a woman who is always 10 years younger than him. He wants a woman who is always 20 years old.

No. 322128

I can understand it if it's a fantasy, but I've known girls who glorify it when it happens in real life (having a "you go, girl" attitude if a younger woman dates an older man) or try to seek out relationships like that. I sometimes feel like the odd one out when talking to normie women because I think large age gaps are really gross even if it's legal. I used to get in arguments about it that focus on the younger partner's "agency" to choose who to date, and the thing is I don't think the younger one is inherently being groomed or whatever, I just think if a guy in his 30s/40s/50s (or older) dates a girl in her early 20s (even if she likes it), it says more about him for not being able to find or be attracted to a woman his age.

No. 322132

The recent discussion in the confessions thread pretty much confirmed it's A) lol

No. 322190

The "you go, girl!" attitude may be due to the fact that older men are almost always associated with wealth, and relationships with a large age gap are romanticized in movies/books. But if a young woman actually wants or likes to date an older man (with no grooming involved), it's probably because it makes her feel special (in the relationship, not necessarily in comparison to other women) and/or she fell for the "you're so mature for your age" meme. If on top of that these women are scared of aging or being cheated on like >>321923 explained (which I don't blame them for….), then they may think that an old man is a good match. Of course that's only if he doesn't pull a Leonardo Dicaprio on them.

No. 322212

Kek nonnie I really like this explanation, it's probably how a lot of straight women feel. The problem is that the scrote will not feel "flattered" by the younger woman's attention, he just will think he is the hot shit and is entitled to younger women.

No. 322362

Growing up, I didn't have many friends that were female. I had BFFs who wanted to kiss, hold hands, and even fuck me. I guess I give off the vibe of a gay or ideal partner or some shit. I never had one single normal friendship, all of my "besties" cried about shit that felt like I was their second boyfriend. One friend cried because I didn't hold her hand, hug, or cuddle her. What the fuck? I don't get women, why do I need to take this position automatically, I never had an ordinary friendship with women because either they were catty or wanted me in a nonfriend way. I grew up as a tomboy into games and playing soldiers. I don't want to deal with friendship breakup stuff because it's drama. I am tired of people treated like second boyfriend and dealing with jealous girls. I concluded that I have a more non-conforming personality that screams "boyfriend" to these women. I don't know if anyone else ever felt like they were never treated as friends.

No. 322364

You can really tell when a feminine woman thinks you're lesser than her because you're not 'putting effort in your appearance' and it hurts so much. Idgaf about what crotes think of me, in fact I hope they find me unattractive and leave me tf alone but women treating me like I'm diseased just because I'm not feminine enough for them… It still fucks me up, especially when I see how much nicer they are to me on days I decide to wear something feminine and do my hair.

No. 322419

AYRT. I agree with you, since I've been friends with women who feel that way. But I honestly really feel like it only works as a fantasy, large age gaps are never as glamorous in real life as they are in a story written by a woman or in the media (which is often propaganda by older men). People like focusing on how the young woman might be "mature for her age" but not that the older partner might be immature for his.

No. 322424

This is so true. Honestly my least favourite thing about women that really turned me off befriending a lot of women to be completely honest. Seeing how so many allow male opinions of them completely dictate their lives is depressing. A lot of the times when they vent about moids it seems like they are venting their frustration that their attempts of pandering are not working, then 5 minutes later they go back to their pandering ways and threatening to arrange a surprise date for you. In my situation i am really aesthetically unfortunately, not a lot can really be done to improve it and i pretty much don't bother to do much about it. Not to be judgemental, i automatically avoid all women with heavy tiktok or instagram makeup or really expensive looking wigs because i can tell those women in particular are the worst for this.

No. 322509

I joined some sports groups and lots of physical activities (swimming, martial arts, axe throwing, archery) are fun and have GNC women. I find women who exercise regularly and participate in activities that they enjoy are more interested in what their body can do and how exercising improves their lives and health over performing femininity. Obviously YMMV but maybe you can find more likeminded women

No. 322576

File: 1682006967527.jpg (172.73 KB, 1170x2080, scottradkeart2.jpg)

I feel like normie women have it better. As if they have no problem smiling and nodding at everything scrotes say, pretending they don't mind being seen as sex objects and laughing at misogynistic jokes. I've seen a feminist post one day about how when you learn all the ways society mistreats women you start noticing it everywhere and can't go back. I mean realizing how shitty it is to be a handmaiden really helps me in life, but I'm kinda jealous of normie women who just don't care/don't notice any problems they face as women. I kinda feel like this is why I would troon out if I was a bit of a retard, to escape womanhood and its pitfalls. It's like all the normie women think that womanhood is all about yasss queen you go girl and I see it as a sad and bleak experience. I mean, I need to grow a backbone and try and do something about it. But I know if I go to a psychologist she will just tell me I'm a fakeboi, and it scares me because I know trooning out only makes everything worse, so I don't have anyone to talk to. Tifs are really the only kind of women I can relate to, but you can't talk to them about such topics without them insisting you just need to inject drugs and chop off body parts. Remember that crazy clownstongue girl from the tif thread? I feel like I could end up like her if it wasn't for my one and only lolcow.farm. Thanks, nonnies, I'm better now, gonna eat a muffin now.

No. 322579

I just feel life would be easier if I was the opposite gender. basically everything I was born into but much easier. people would treat me better, I would be believed by doctors, my family, friends, etc. trooning out wouldn't help either simply because nobody would ever treat me like a man anyway, just an inferior version of a man. just like how troons are treated like a better version of women, because they're biologically men.
also feel like this about being mentally ill, life would just be easier if I wasn't, but in a different way than being a woman, but it's also a hardship I wish I didn't have to go through. living is suffering.

No. 322582

Nonnie life is shit but you can make it bearable by having a life purpose. I have a purpose, I'm going to help tifs and shit on male trannies kek. You can write about your experience if you feel like nobody listens. I mean, there are a lot of women who troon out because they think it will give them male easy mode life. But you know, sure scrotes have it easy and all, but your life also would be better if you were born into a rich family/with great genetics and health/with a certain personality/a fucking normie. But life was never meant to be a Disney land trip. The most important thing is don't aim your angst on yourself, aim somewhere else like writing/art. Somebody has to speak about this particular female experience.

No. 322583

samenon, I know it's retarded but you can find my email here >>320559 if you want to talk. All the other nonnies can write me too

No. 322584

If i was a normalfag woman life would be on EZ mode. Instead I overthink and overanalyze and SEE how shit things and people are.
I wish I was an extroverted basic bitch, they just seem to breeze through life and are either ignorant or don't go through tough things

No. 322585

not really, normie women always end up hurt by letting scrotes dictate their life/damage their health with retarded heels/plastic surgery crap.

No. 322586

This is why you don't have friends. Believing the average woman gets as much plastic surgery to ruin her health isn't normal.

No. 322587

What's with this unironically incel take?

No. 322588

Nonnie stop this retarded infighting, I'm trying to be supportive here. You know normie women spend a shit ton of money on cosmetic crap.

No. 322594

it's just difficult seeing people who have it much easier being much worse people or just throwing their potential in the trash, it makes me think life is unfair and it makes me lose hope.

No. 322604

I know it's a shit tactic but you can think of people who have it worse than you

No. 322605

>it makes me think life is unfair and it makes me lose hope.
nayrt but I feel exactly like this
life really is unfair and often times it's the shittiest people who get what they least deserve

No. 322607

File: 1682011569449.jpg (109.81 KB, 1024x1024, 1604527453917.jpg)

I feel guilty when I think of that because I also have a lot many people don't have and that I am wasting my own potential.

No. 322628

Nonnies you are just so sad. Go to a therapist and say you have depression to get those pills that make your brain feel better. Sometimes it can't be helped the other way.

No. 322629

Stip judging normie women and then maybe you'll have friends. Men also spend a shit ton of money on haircuts, clothes, perfumes, waxing/hair removal, gym etc. so it's not like only women are stupidly vain enough like you think.

No. 322630

>Men also spend a shit ton of money on haircuts, clothes, perfumes, waxing/hair removal, gym etc
Stop this retarded trolling and let nonnies vent, this shit is ridiculous

No. 322631

Maybe if you actually spent some time with normie women you'd know there's masses of them who don't wear make-up regularly and go about their day dressed in jeans and sneakers. You sound like you base reality off Euphoria

No. 322643

nlogs will nlog

No. 322649

It's not trolling, she struggles making friends and I'm telling her why.
The only ideas of women they have are from shitty shows, fr. These anons sound like they never interact with women irl.

No. 322652

Back to your incel forums

No. 322662

Kinda of off-putting seeing anons defend normie women when they're posting here specifically because normies women rejected them over trannies/ because they're autistic. It's actually pathetic

No. 322699

>here specifically because normies women rejected them over trannies/ because they're autistic
I dunno what your life is like but that never happened to me.

No. 322700

Yeah seriously this is the literal I cant relate to normie girls thread, everyone here is ‘nlog’ as you put it. Please whiteknight elsewhere. Also defending norms wont make them like you.

No. 322701

Great, maybe you can take it to the ‘no problems making friends with other women’ thread

No. 322704

Just saying it's a bullshit counter argument. Not that it can be called an argument. Even if I had been ostracized by some normie woman, these brain dead incel views are still just that, brain dead incel views. But hey, that also didn't happen, so another layer of bullshit.

No. 322707

life is easier if youre accepted by others and socially retarded/autistic people are rejected by others frequently. I dont see whats incel about that, its a well documented thing.

No. 322710

So I have sister in laws that I am just really distant with and i like them but they seem kind of too good for me you know ? They do stuff without me but we’re going to an art festival and there will be drinks served I wanna drink and loosen up around them. I just hope I can get in closer with them they’re kinda tightly knit and I’m sort of an outlier but I think it’s my own doing because I’m socially retarded

No. 322767

nta, Men may not spend a ton on self-care, but they sure spend a lot on useless crap related to their fav anime/movies, sneaker collection or "luxury" items, and it's not like they are under the same pressure as women when it comes to beauty and fashion. Even if we can't relate to normie women it doesn't mean they all have "life on easy mode", especially compared to men.

No. 322772

I don't care for defending or attacking normie women because they're not the problem, I am the problem. It's not them driving me away, several normie women attempted friendship with me at university or at work, it's me being socially awkward, then later realizing "Shit, I acted weird" and avoiding them out of shame.
Ah yes, not being able to socialize like a normal person is sure NLOGism. Mental illness is sure NLOGism. You're fucking retarded.

No. 322812

good luck, nonnie! I hope you have fun and everything goes well.

No. 323865

I’ve been feeling so lonely recently as a neurodiverse masc woman, all my friends are gendies or just really hard to reach out to. I’ve been desperate enough to try talking to male friends again.

I’m afraid it’s only gonna get worse. Being an autistic gnc woman is tough enough but I want to be a parent and I feel like it’s gonna be impossible befriending other moms. None of my friends want to be parents so I’m on my own. I’m honestly really scared of having nobody but my husband to talk to, not because he’s a problem, but I just need multiple perspectives.

I feel like I’m someone people like because I’m “impressive” at certain skills, and they like that, but my friends don’t understand how to give me any emotional support or reach out. I’m there to do jokes and help people with life skills and listen to their problems, but I’m expected to be strong enough to solve all my problems. How do I even explain my problem of “I’m lonely and afraid it’s only gonna get worse over time?” How do I do it without sounding nerdy or pathetic or clingy?

No. 323912

I'm a diagnosed sperg and a lesbian. This really made my relationship with women complicated, even when there was no romantic implication- you know the feeling when someone attractive and elegant looks at you and you feel like an ugly potato and want to fall deep into the ground. This gets better with age though.
I fucking hate non-binary shit trend. I could see myself falling for this when I was younger. But stick it up world, just because I don't fit in with other 'regular' women, I'm kinda cumbersome, wird and not very feminine doesn't mean I'm not a woman.

No. 323921

You are literally me

No. 324161

File: 1682673719034.gif (5.14 MB, 540x360, tumblr_c2025f6df738e5598c6b00f…)

I was bullied relentlessly by both boys and girls in middle school and 2 years of highschool. While the bullying from boys was direct, the treatment from girls hurt more as it was more sneaky and it was all about spreading gossip that a lot of people believed since i lived in a shitty small and very traditionalist town where everyone knows everyone. And having no spine to stand up for myself or some other support, it was rough. Because of this, I naturally developed a case of NLOG too on top of being socially awkward and having interests that apparently were too childish for me when I was 14/15 (video games, drawing, some cartoons and anime). I had people my age and older tell me that my priorities should change for make-up, boys and going to the club.
I also had a girl friend (as in platonic, don't want to use female instead) at that time whom I deeply trusted only to make me question my worth and turned pretty much all of my vents and secrets against me. When the bullying stopped, I started to befriend more girls, but I still mistrusted them most of the time and some of them to this very day, didn't have this issue with my guy friends, especially the very few I'm still friends with.

Personally, getting out of highschool and radfem improved my relationahips with other girls and my perspectives too, also working in a people centric job, retail was for me, oddly enough. This unwritten school hierarchy was soul crushing to me. Also, my social skills got better since then and now I befriend more women. There are still some "girl code" things that I find really stupid, also the fact that some of my older friends started to ignore girl frienships the moment a moid stepped into their lives (not all of them, thank God), which is a thing that makes me pessimistic about sisterhood, as a lot of women drop years of frienships only for a moid that wouldn't do the same, all due to our social conditioning.

No. 324235

I 100% do not support the "non-binary" nonsense, but I kind of understand it, it's just responding to misogyny with more misogyny/a bad coping mechanism. Growing up as a lesbian in a religious right-wing environment othered me from both sexes and made me feel like a third gender; To men I was just a sex object needed to be forcibly fixed, and to women I was inherently dangerous or a man in a woman's body (no wonder so many lesbians become TIFs). I've even dealt with sexual abuse from girls when I was young under the guise that I'd probably "like it" since I'm such a deviant. I never got to have the "female solidarity" experience, and even as an adult I've made myself as feminine and straight-passing as possible, so women can trust me. There isn't really a local LGB community either that isn't full of spicy straights, so I'm indefinitely in the closet in real life.

No. 332137

I do not know hth they aren't deeply offended by living with/ seeing guys the way they are.

I'm extremely put off by having to hear the shit women put up with from men, from community, and shit they put up with everyday and never angrily respond to, or even question. You never hear anything good, you never hear anything that makes you excited to be alive. If I listened to the shit, or socialized with women all the time I'd want to shoot myself. Really and truly interacting with most people really makes me want to shoot myself in general.

I've learned I don't want to know. I don't want to hear because there is no point in responding either. You feel like a wall, they dont hear, will never hear or heed. So why should I care? about their vapid traditions and religion and familial hells?? Tbh it's extremely offensive. Like offensive beyond words hearing the things women kowtow and walk blindly into, like they were born yesterday. I used to be really sympathetic and talk all the time. But not so much now, I thoroughly hate our culture and the shit women stupidly put up with. I don't care to pretend to be happy and integrate I just don't talk at all and keep to myself. Lmao there is no solution to that but I guess I don't really care either, since I tend to avoid most of it and do whatever I want. To whoever it pisses off im laughing at your rage.

It always makes people angry I'm not falling into the same emotional laborey/ relationshit schemes women get dragged into.

People want you to go back to caring so bad but that is hysterical to me. All of that is a joke to me.

I always see things from 10 miles away where human behavior is concerned. I really hate being dragged into any of it. Interacting with people in general makes me want to shoot myself but at least I get to watch them set themselves on fire i guesss?? I'm really fatigued but i really try to be optimistic anyway it's the only way to get by. Enjoy the nice things and laugh but fck trying to integrate with "women"

No. 332142

late but I relate so hard annon <3 wishing you the best(<3)

No. 332214

i have avoidant personality disorder.
its made having friends so incredibly difficult. i lose all of my friends because they think im a major bitch.
i find it difficult to relate to other girls more socially functioning than i am. i almost think men are easier to be around because they seem to expect less and just generally let me do my weird avoidant shit.

i dont know what to do, i feel so isolated and like my university class hates me and i am stuck with them for 3 more years.

No. 332229

NONNIE this is my problem too. exactly this. thankfully my best friend is just like me and i couldnt be happier, but i want more female friends just like me, who accept my weird self (and who are women not theytards or something, i'll literally lose my mind if i meet a woman with the same interests/hobbies as me whos not a theycrap, and again, for the record, not every woman whos into my interests/hobbies is a theytard, but there are lots who are loud as fuck) speaking of male friendship, your situation is the same as mine. most of the times i feel like i can act myself with almost every man i meet (though it depends) because they most likely accept me as myself. but for example if theres a big group and the women there don't share at least one of my interests/hobbies then i cant really open up and be friends w them because they'll probably think im weird lol but i dont care i love my weirdness! love yourselves nonnies <3(<3)

No. 332255

I have a weird situation where I have some friends but I barely connect closely with most of them. I hang out with all of them one on one, but all except one are women that I feel I can share my deeper self too. I've been trying to go to friend-finding events and doing my best but it's hard to find people like me.
My more recent circles are also insanely social media focused and it's so aggravating. I hate when friends want to take pictures of me and post them on instagram. It's not natural for me and I don't really wear makeup or style my hair.
I'm stylish and I like fashion, just not someone who does myself up with the anticipation of getting photographed, because I want friends who don't feel the need to parade our friendship on SM.
I just want to meet women who have a dark sense of humour and can chat shit with me, really. But most of my friends are quite tightly wound and I can tell they aren't willing to be themselves around anyone. They're not bad, just not on the same wave-length as me.
Making friends is so hard as an adult, it feels like dating and the best friendships I found have taken so much time into nurturing which is hard to do when you balance work and other friends and self care.
I guess this was a ramble but I do relate to a lot of anons in this thread being the silly little autist I am.

No. 332935

File: 1685817732124.jpeg (51.71 KB, 647x1405, 7915EF56-827B-45E1-A416-8015C3…)

I have been so lonely and friendless for about 6 years. Diagnosed sperg. Even thinking about trying to make friends depresses me. The last friend I had was a family friend that molested me. Other than that, I have had no friends. It was extremely difficult to connect to the female students when I was in elementary school, I was so stupid that I would follow the groups of girls playing and observe them while not saying anything, and then eventually they would tell me to leave them alone or run away from me and I would chase after them. I really want female friends. It saddens me that so many girls who relate to me are now tifs. I’m waiting for those girls to detransition. I don’t know what to do. Especially since all the autism resources in my area are male-centric. I just want someone to sperg about dinosaurs and tf2 with. I can’t tell if I’m ugly either. So if I wanted make companionship, I wouldn’t know where to start. I really want a partner, it feels like I’ve been in ovulation for months. I feel so depraved of attention or any acceptance. I hate that the only people I’ve ever related to were mostly men, like Morrissey, Gary Numan, and David Byrne. Some girls I have related to are fictional book characters and Daria, but I’m not as stuck-up as her. And I’m not really one for fiction anyway. I don’t know what to do. I skipped a couple grades while I was in high school. I’m in college right now on summer break. I want to connect to the students but I can’t even look at them in the eyes. The only person that was a girl that I could talk to was my female chem prof.

No. 335526

holy shit i feel this SO MUCH. Most of my friends have been guys, I was defintely poisoned by the internet edgelord shit. I still enjoy edgelord humor myself sometimes but guys in general are just fucking gross and terrible. I got a job recently at a mostly female workplace and hope I can make some friends there as most people are around my age as well.

No. 335528

fuck, i shipped them when i watched this fucking show

No. 335589

File: 1686829520351.jpg (101.54 KB, 1024x573, screenshot-220.jpg)

>grow up anxious and introverted interested in drawing, writing, playing games or playing alone mostly
>have some female friends throughout school but always feel less than them, or like i'm just one step behind and don't understand the culture/how to behave
>get into high school and become massive NLOG thrive off the fact that ~i'm one of the boys hehe~ worst decision of my life
>eventually leave school and realise that i was never part of their group as a genuine friend and just in a rotation of fuckable or therapist nlog
>make 2 female friends in college but still struggle to socialise with them and feel embarrassed and inferior to them because i am still outwardly nerdy and edgy
>go to uni, make friends with some more, feel like i need to put on a facade of being super normie, confident and boss bitch and it kinda worked for a while as much as i hate to say
>finish uni and realise that most of my life has just been spent trying to mimic what "works" in society instead of just being myself. i'm not a hyperfeminine girlboss, i just want to play world of warcraft and look at animals
>discover radfem a little bit and realise 99% of my male friends have unsurprisingly just wanted something sexual or to use me for emotional trauma dumping
>annihilate male friends from my life and discover a newfound peace after realising i also don't have to shave, wear makeup or support trannies/moids in general
>still feel a bit sad because the spaces i'm in are male-dominated and every time i have tried to make female friends there it feels like picrel for some reason and they are all libfems/call me transphobic
>2023 still have less than 5 friends total, feel very alone, but in a strange sense i think i prefer this instead of trying to be something i'm not
>still playing WoW and looking at capybara hoping the stars will align and i will come across another woman who i will make a great friendship with so we can sperg together

No. 335597

File: 1686834617760.jpeg (14.52 KB, 275x236, IMG_5089.jpeg)

Extremely relatable. I listen to a lot of male artists and relate to them far more, probably because you aren't really allowed to be weird and/or not conventionally attractive as a female artist, ever, but moreso these days

Your choice in 2023 is pretty much between being a hyper bimbo baby girl or a TIF lmao

No. 335627

File: 1686843773336.jpg (34.63 KB, 719x298, whores.jpg)

I hate whores so much it's unreal.(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 335632

Wrong thread?

No. 335674

This and some other posts talked about not understanding women being submissive to men, and as a former turbo pick me maybe I try to explain. While I was dating horrible moids, I didnt have close female friends or family, was very insecure and hating myself. Being "good gf" by being a doormat and "good in bed" by doing nasty porn stuff was the only thing I could be kinda proud of myself for. I joked about the moid's abusive and controlling behaviour to cope and to check "t-this is normal right, he doesnt see me as worthless right?" When I finally woke up I felt like the biggest clown in the entire universe. I think this is why a lot of women dont want to see the truth, will go from one abusive relationship to other, and even trick themselves into thinking it is sexy and kinky. That they actually respect themselves so little they think all they deserve is being treated like shit.

No. 335684

You are either male or female

Stupid ass gendies

No. 335686

theres plenty of female artists that fit the bill for female targeted music that aint braindead pickme bimbodoll shi or tif aligned just take a look at mitski (before she got bludgeoned and gentrified by the tiktok crowd) or hell even fiona apple

No. 335697

wrong thread again?

No. 335732

There are relatable female artists I listen to, but they are not well known.

No. 335775

wanna share with the class?

No. 336236

Tbh this. I'm so unhinged I could never properly befriend another woman and I always feel like I'm hiding something when I pretend to be normal. I wish I had a girlfriend who was also unhinged. I just want to sperg and be menhera with another woman.

No. 336265

I'm a "new" work environment (putting it in quotation marks because I've worked there as an intern before) with 2 guys and 2 women, both pairs consisting of one older (45+) and one younger (my age) person. I get along with the male colleague my age because we've worked together before and he's very personable, and also doesn't pry into anything personal, and I get along somewhat well with the older dude since he's a pretty typical stereotype of the colleague that just wants women to laugh at his jokes.
But I feel so awkward with the two women, whenever I need to discuss something together. I don't fucking understand what they expect of me half the time, and it seems like the older one wants to discuss more personal shit, which I'm against. I also have an awful habit of kneejerk cynicism as a first reaction while they seem pretty optimisitc, or at least held back in their communication. With the woman my age, who I'm most connected to in my work, I simply can't communicate beyond work stuff. I try to imitate normal conversations sometimes asking her about her life, and our boss seems to be convinced we'll be friends, just because we're the same age. But I'm a fucking sperg who's spent years as a NEET. The young woman just took off one week to travel, which meant I had like double the workload and barely any help, and yet work never felt this good for me, I wish she'd never return.

No. 336376

>I was so stupid that I would follow the groups of girls playing and observe them while not saying anything, and then eventually they would tell me to leave them alone or run away from me and I would chase after them.
I acted so similarly as a kid this post freaks me out. For like, way too long. It haunts me

No. 336470

Are there any other gynophobics here?

I was abused by women as a child and as a result had a hard time understanding what female friendships were supposed to be like, got abused some more by crazy female 'friends', and without fail got dumped after the lovebomb phase by putting my foot down and saying 'no'. I'm currently working on being in environs with one or two women, my 'base' is mostly moid-dominated, because I feel more comfortable that way.

The people who have been there for me have without fail been male. Male friend and male relatives. I've come across bad ones too, but since I have a good 'template' or whatever for how men are supposed to treat me, I don't feel uncomfortable or at risk of losing friendship if I tell a scrotey moid to fuck off or go NC.

I also wish I had female friends sometimes since growing up has shown me that I do have stuff in common with them, but the women I felt comfortable around trooned out. At this point, I've accepted the fact that women are not really a part of my life. I really like female-focused anon or fandom spaces, because it allows us to connect over the subject and not social games, if that makes sense.

Please keep trying nonas.

No. 336704

Nona, I have pretty similar experiences to you except instead of WoW I play FF14. That being said I wish I had a friend like you to play an mmo with

No. 336795

I feel so awkward trying to socialize with other girl coworkers to the point where I've just gave up. I work remotely so that doesn't help at all.

I think that mostly I've steped out of the NLOG phase but it genuinely feels like there's something wrong or different about me that makes things so hard, it's gotten to a point where I'm considering talking to a therapist and checking if I'm not on the spectrum.

I've had a few good interactions here and there but lately it feels kinda scary to reach out to any of them and I don't really feel included on anything.

No. 336926

I relate to so many of you, and agree that lolcow (and weirdfem corners on tumblr) are the only places where I can really relate to other women…

I was molested by the slightly older daughter of a family friend when I was very young. She got held back in school so she was actually in the same grade as me. She bullied me constantly and I lived my childhood in constant fear that she would tell everyone, that I was a lesbian (though I didn't know the word for it at the time) and that I was broken and disgusting. Always felt more like a boy, especially because of what happened.

So naturally I had issues making friends with anyone, but especially girls because I felt so weird around them. I played with the boys because they liked the things I liked, but I was bullied by both genders. I finally had some female friends in 6th grade, but they quickly abandoned me because I wouldn't break the rules with them.

I had a best friend in high school, but it was very co-dependent and looking back, I think I was in love with her romantically. We did everything together and it was the first time I ever felt like someone "got" me. But then I got a boyfriend (wanted to be straight/loved so bad) and we had a huge falling out. Then I broke up with him and we were best friends again… until she got a boyfriend. It led to a big fight, and we never spoke again. I tried so many times to reach out but she gave me the cold shoulder. She even got married and had a kid with this guy. Guess he was better than me.

I still don't drink alcohol to this day (other trauma lol) and that has excluded me from making friends as an adult, I think. I'm already weird, and on top of it I don't do the one group activity that everyone other adult loves. I don't like wine, I don't like make-up or spending thousands on my appearance, I don't seem to enjoy anything that the women around me like. I used to watch popular shows or listen to podcasts they liked just to have something to talk about with other women. But you can only keep that up for so long. Plus, the other women around me are getting married and having kids - like other anons said, it pretty much ends the friendship once they have the baby.

No. 336928

Did anyone have that feeling of being behind in social experience as a teen compared to classmates/friends? I remember feeling weird because i hadn't had boyfriends or sexted with dudes or drank alcohol or went to parties or went out a lot or liked whatever was popular like shows and celebs (music is an exception because i enjoy anything if it sounds fun i guess)

No. 336967

Yep and I got picked on for it. Some classmates, even a few girls were weirdly mad at me over it because "why not just give guys a chance" (though I think they were only annoyed because they were friends with those guys) and another portion of classmates, including a (now ex) best friend thought I was gay because of my lack of interest in things like that and used their suspicions as an excuse to avoid me.

No. 337042

Relate, I was treated like a pet retard too, realized it late and still catch myself later on realizing I'm still being jerked around as someone to make fun of every time I'm in close quarters with those well to do heartless women, which is strange as they are already rich and popular with literally hundreds of people they know and run with so I don't know what pleasure can be gained from punching down on a virtually friendless socially retarded person such as myself. I also hold a violent hatred for other women that I've nurtured in adulthood as I've grown to realize that the vast majority of women CHOOSE to have absolutely no dignity nor respect for themselves, they're vapid uninteresting carbon copies of each other who have no aspirations or things they care about that are not directly about men or else connected to men, if it were up to me personally I would beat almost every woman on earth with a pipe for her self degradation spelling disastrous consequences for me by extension but whatever, I'm just going to literally die mad about it. Inb4 I'm unpleasant hateful judgmental misogynist and that's why I have no friends etcetera etcetera, even when I did try to have friends they always disappoint me and betray me same old shit never different what's the point I'll just be hateful in peace away from the unfathomable way these women live their lives. Ffs

No. 337044

I'm at the age when my peers started having kids and it's all they can talk about. I've always seen the majority of women as NPCs, but now it's getting worse. Cook-clean-breastfeed-walk-wash-sleep is such a mind-numbing cycle. I feel like talking to a prisoner. And they look so fucking declawed, for the lack of a better word. Cautious about everything, anxious, noticeably slower on the uptake, perpetually busy with the baby. It makes me sick. The fathers don't lose their personalities btw, they don't have to.
God, human reproduction is fucked up. Can't relate to most women because they willingly go through that.

No. 337054

You are better than other people, don't let the bitter wenches in here or anywhere get you down. Speaking as a jobless fat person

No. 337058

I had a closeknit group of gross fujo friends in highschool and it feels like those sorts of women just don't exist as adults. Like, why is it so hard to find women who just don't give a fuck? Even the "nerdy" or "super chill stoner" types. They always care a lot about how other people perceive them, or how attractive they are, or what so-and-so did that was morally wrong. Just chill the fuck out and enjoy things, goddamn.

I know a lot of women have been burned by other women judging them (ex. this thread) but I personally can't relate and it makes me feel like an alien.

No. 337060

Whenever I read about women that want to be a mom I feel like there must be something wrong with me. Some women online talk about wanting to be a mom so bad they agonize over it every single day. I don’t understand that. Having a baby would just mean throwing my life and freedom away. I’m 30, that’s too young to put aside my life of self-fulfillment for having a child. I wish I was rich enough to freeze my eggs and revisit the idea in my 40s.
Then again, I just don’t want to go through body horror for 9 months. I find pregnancy demeaning and I feel guilty for that because it’s supposed to be this magical thing only us goddesses are capable of. But to me, it’s like you’re becoming a slave to another human being. Plus, caring about looks is lame but I really don’t want all those physical changes associated with pregnancy.
I think I might enjoy having like a 10 year old daughter I could expose to my hobbies and we could go shopping together. But I don’t want to do any of the mom stuff. Like don’t ask me to feed her or change her diapers or play with her. I have the maternal instinct of a very wealthy woman that has nannies working around the clock. Which is fine but I feel like that makes me lesser than other women? Logically I don’t understand myself, but emotionally I feel like I’m somehow failing because I want to choose myself.
My bf wants us to have several babies which is so weird because he works 60+ hours weeks. He would very rarely see our children. He makes much more money than I ever will, so I would either have to sacrifice my career to prioritize being a mom (story as old as time) or I would just have kids just for them to be raised by babysitters and after school programs. I’m afraid of becoming a stay at home mom, or just the type of woman that makes being a mom the defining aspect of her identity.
The other thing is marriage. I’ve never wanted to have a wedding or a proposal. I’m about to get married for financial reasons, so I’m going to show up to the courthouse that day in a normal outfit and just sign the papers and be on my way. I’m being called weird for this, by women who chose to do the whole wedding thing. I’m happy I don’t want one because that means I get to save a lot of money but I have this feeling that people think it’s my bf that doesn’t want a wedding and that’s why we aren’t having one. We’ve been together for a long time and my friends used to be on my ass about “why isn’t he proposing?”. They just assumed that would be something I wanted, because this was a huge deal to them. I’ve also been met with a lot of weirdly negative reactions from both friends and family for choosing to keep my name, which is a no-brainer to me.

No. 337064

Pregnancy is demeaning it's good you get that don't let the miserable normies brainwash you they're trying to drag you down to their level. Keep your autonomy and don't let anyone or anything reduce you to a babymaker, the moment you become a mother is a death sentence essentially you void your right to be a full human being and everyone else is in on that, you will not be seen as your own person anymore you will be reduced only as a relation. And everyone is weirded out by your non marriage because you're not supposed to be your own person anymore in that either, you're supposed to be your husband's property hence the keeping your name also being an issue and flouting social norms. A wedding ceremony is supposed to be a song and dance trying to make selling you off to a man a celebration, it's a cover up to make something so bleak look good. You sound like a reasonably normal woman with grievances as to how things are and I know I sound insane right now but if you see these rituals for what they are then you will know. Good luck. Hopefully your husband does not kill your potential more than he already has and that you do not allow him to.

No. 337065

Samefag your husband is trying to trap you into being his personal incubator but I think you know that already. Whole time I was typing my tirade I was thinking why you're even with him in the first place because money cannot be all that but I guess you have to do what you have to do for a comfortable life except to me that's basically already selling yourself for an inherently miserable and empty way of living so why are you risking forfeiting your dignity? You are playing with your life like this but you will do what you will do anyway and live your life however way you want to regardless so whatever I digress. You know the risks, you know what you're walking into, willingly and of your own volition…

No. 337069

>My bf wants us to have several babies which is so weird because he works 60+ hours weeks
That's not weird. That's exactly why he wants several babies. As a man, he's going to be the one who fucks off to work, be active and productive, and earn money to toss at his kids. He gets the fun part of the deal.

No. 337070

One of my friends had a daughter last year and it's the same. She went from a funny, witty and interesting woman with lots to talk about to a baby-crazy mombie. She quit her job to be a full time mom and conversations with her revolve around
>mommy-baby walk
>went to x place with baby
>went to the park with baby
>daddy-baby photoshoot
>home decor, how she wants to decorate room for baby
>family walk
>family trip to grandma's
>baby clothes
>mommy and daddy walking dates
She's also started posting photos of her husband and herself being all loved up on her socials when she never used to do that. Who even is this woman?

As you said, 'daddy' gets to work and hang out with his friends and spends maybe a few hours tops watching his kid. Her whole life is just baby this baby that mommy this mommy that I bought new pillows aren't they nice. It seems so depressingly empty and lonely, and most men my age want that. Hate being straight.

No. 337075

My god anon you're not lesser for not wanting kids. You've been born in a time and place where women have options beyond birthing kids, you've seen them and like certain options more than others. That's all that happened. There are plenty of other women who are childfree, you're not unique in that regard.

No. 337092

NTA but IRL I'm one of the few women my age range that doesn't/have want kids, and it does make me feel like an outsider or lesser too. It's obviously not true that childfree adult women are "lesser" but it's sometimes crazymaking how so many women will sacrifice their personality and life for having kids, and act like I'm the freak for not following suit.

No. 337093

>about to be married
>to a man who wants several kids when you want none
Anon wtf, love yourself. This isn't going to end well. I hope you've had a conversation with him making it clear you're not going to have children.
I feel really lucky in my friend group now. None of us want children and we've known this for a decade. We're all satisfied with taking care of pets.

No. 337095

Save yourself and stop the marriage!! You don't even like him that much, its for financial reasons and your future plans are so so different.

ALSO He doesn't care that you're:
- not having a ceremony
- aren't madly in love
- not taking his name (could be based in a different nigel but it sounds like he just doesnt give a fuck about anything about you)
- you don't want kids

He wants to use you to """carry on the lineage""" and sacrifice the next two decades of your life being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.

Is it the money? the tax benefits? the apartment you share? how tangled your finances already are and how much of a hassle it would be to separate? the memories you two already made? the seeming lack of other options (you will have much less if you marry him)? what reasons are you staying for?

No. 337101

>marrying for money
>happily skipping out on a wedding to save money
am I the only one not following the logic here? surely if he's that well of the expenses of a wedding would be on him and of no concern?

No. 337103

You're probably an outsider cause you are a patronizing nlog that looks down on other women, not because you don't have kids.

No. 337106

>thread for literal nlogs and social outcasts
>"yOu ArE NLoG!!!"

No. 337124

Just saying, the issue isn't not wanting to have kids, it's being a cunt to other women who do want kids.

No. 337146

Sounds like anon touched a nerve because it doesn't read as cunty at all

No. 337197

>those of us who spent our formative years on 4chan/other male dominated spaces and got internet poisoning from it
>those of us who realised men aren't your friends
>general loners

This was/is basically me but in recent times I managed to befriend a few normie-ish women.

But I feel like I have become their therapist while I do not get the same …uh…energy (not sure if using right word) back.

What I mean is we will meet to hang out and then they will complain about their issues with moids or self esteem issues caused by moids and some other problems (but majority of problems is always moid related).

So I do my best to advise them, to make them feel better and gain some self respect, independecy etc

On the other hand, I am trying to live my life moid-independent. I am trying to develop hobbies, go through a career change, have interest in various stuff.

I also have problems that I wanna vent to my friends but I have noticed they quickly dismiss it, as if it is nothing.

It has come to the point where I feel lonely and emotionally depleted after hanging out that I am considering going full loner again but then I get lonely and circle repeats.

I guess the answer to my problem would be to find new friends and I am trying but it is hard and I always somehow end up being a therapist.

I have another one female friend who is similar to me, but sadly she moved in a different country for the sake for her career so I do not see her often. Wish I could hang out with her more often.

Anyone else gone through similar issue? How do you deal with it?

No. 337220

I think you misunderstood what I meant by wanting to get married for financial reasons. Getting married would instantly up our yearly income by something like 13k/14k.
So I'm getting married not because I want to be married, but because I want more money.
His expenses are my concern anyway as all the money he makes is my money. I can spend it as I wish and I don't wish to spend it on a wedding.
>ALSO He doesn't care that you're:
I didn't share my whole life for the sake of brevity, but my bf did want us to have a ceremony but accepted that I don't. He supports me not taking his name even though his family is being nasty about it. He was the one to approach me and let me know that he's fine with us not having kids if I don't want any.
Your reply is kind of what my post was about. Why is me not wanting a ceremony a problem? Why'd you assume I'm not madly in love, because I don't want a ceremony? Maybe this is me being overly sensitive but this is what I mean about feeling judged by other women. I can be madly in love with my bf and want to spend the rest of my life with him without wanting to have a wedding, or kids, or change my name.

No. 337253

>Why'd you assume I'm not madly in love, because I don't want a ceremony? Maybe this is me being overly sensitive but this is what I mean about feeling judged by other women. I can be madly in love with my bf and want to spend the rest of my life with him without wanting to have a wedding, or kids, or change my name.
Nta, but I can try to explain why people assume this. It's because those things make a wedding a proper commitment and make it meaningful and personal. Otherwise it's just signing a contract. Sharing a family name makes you a family and shows everyone you belong together as man and wife. Sharing a ceremony where you invite all your friends and family to have an audience as you publically proclaim your love for each other gives it more weight and meaning than doing it infront of a stranger. Marriage used to be a much bigger deal and commitment than it is now, it meant a lot to people because it was literally forever. Now it's already easy to get divorced so the things like ceremony and sharing a name, a proposal, a ring, means so much more cause if you do it like you plan to do it it's literally nothing other than a financial decision that has nothing to do with love or promising each other to grow old together. That's why people assume you are not doing it out of love, cause well.. You aren't.

No. 337276

You’re right, my decision to get married has nothing to do with love. Because I don’t need to be married to my bf to love him. I don’t need a paper nor do I need to declare our love in front of our friends and family for me to know and feel that we are committed to each other for life. I’ve been with him for a decade. That’s longer than some people who have had weddings and have shared a last name. Proposals, ceremonies, rings, taking another person’s name, all these things you named as meaningful don’t speak as to commitment or love. None of that means as much as you say it does because people do all that and still get divorced.
So I think you and the other anon are confusing personal preferences for objective measures of love and commitment.

No. 337310

shrug, sorry for overstepping your boundaries, then. the whole "minimum frills, minimum effort, minimum stress" thing just didnt make a good picture without your added context (the part where he's fine not having kids especially, duh). pretty sure that would be clear to a lot of people, but then again this IS the difficulties-relating thread. it sounded like you were being pushed into a marriage where no one's on your side, instead of just venting

congratulations on your upcoming marriage! i hope you two have many happy years!

No. 337399

After i came out my life became more lonely because I can’t sustain any more friendships with straight/bi women
It’s like i just can’t click with them and it seems so hard to find actual lesbians nowadays

No. 337411

I don’t think I have difficulty relating to other women but I have a hard time getting them to like me. I used to think it was seen as nosy to ask people a bunch of questions but I recently learned that’s basically how you get people to like you?? And even after knowing this, I still forget to do it when the opportunity arises. Some people think I’m stuck up or untrustworthy because I’m too quiet and literally I’m just so afraid of saying the wrong thing and being judged that it makes me feel paralyzed. I don’t have this issue with moids because you could have basically any personality and they’ll still like you. But i don’t value their opinions. I only want one best friend and I’ll be so grateful but I’m getting older and it truly does get harder and harder (not bc of age but because people get busy, it’s hard to make plans etc)

No. 337421

It's not your love I'm doubting, but rather his. You're supplying him with pussy, food, psychotherapy, housing, attention, maternal love, personal maid, decorator, dishwasher etc. but he can't even let you have 1 day of fun? I've had bosses nicer than that

No. 337422

Imagine whoring yourself out for 14k a year. The average small town working girl makes 3 times that

No. 337428

NTA, but I can be friends with straight/bi women online if they have similar niche interests, but in real life I'm just on edge around them since I grew up facing so much homophobia from women who only date men. I'm pretty visibly GNC too, which makes me stick like a sore thumb in real life (nobody knows what I look like online unless I post a selfie). I tried Meetup to see if there are nearby lesbian groups but a lot of them are all-inclusive "queer" spaces across the state, and I live in a small town anyway. Everyone my age is married to men and having kids, it makes me feel like a failure even though that lifestyle isn't meant for me.

No. 337429

AYRT, where did my post patronize or look down on women who have kids? Stop projecting.

No. 337432

I am friends with a bi woman but having to hear about the bullshit she subjects herself to in dating men stresses me the fuck out, starting to think it's better to be lonely than unnecessarily worried

No. 337433

Kek I agree she's being his personal prostitute but she means 14k on top of what he's already making. Regardless her acting like her husband is her personal wallet that can't or won't cut her access to his funds in a second for no reason is very idiotic of her.

No. 337436

That must be really hard nona, I’m femme but i never tell people i just met that I’m lesbian for that exact same reason but again if they were going to be homophobic then I shouldn’t be around them anyways
if i were you i’d consider living elsewhere

No. 337573

>if i were you i’d consider living elsewhere
AYRT. Easier said than done, otherwise I would have the moment I turned 18. Even getting an apartment in a liberal city costs more than my income, and I work full time. It's a big reason why I'm so isolated from women IRL, I had a TIF phase as a teenager and I get tempted to go back even though I don't believe in trans.

No. 337611

at my summer job i have to interact with my female coworkers all the time and some of them talk about me behind my back and insinuate that im dirty/stupid
it doesnt bother me so much, i just dont react to it generally. im tired of being seen as stupid or not a person because im not always reacting in the "proper way".
im so tired of having to act normal that i just stay quiet most of the time and keep to myself. i dont want to have conversations with the people i hear talking about me behind my back. i barely smile/act normal except for customers. i think i have autism, but maybe im only sick of dealing with mean people and am just tired.
i cant let these mean people make me believe those bad things about myself. im not stupid or dirty. theyre only picking on me because theyre bored and have nothing better to do. im only a target because im quiet and dont participate in their gossip. and am slightly strange.
i need to find a job someday where being quiet and spergy and a literal thinker doesnt get me seen as a retard.

No. 337612

Yeah, I have a similar dynamic with most of the women at my workplace. I work in biotech and it doesn't seem to change even here. I found the people I worked with were actually much nicer and understanding when I was working retail. My moid coworkers at this job seem to really respect me though for some reason

No. 337624

NTA but get some reading comprehension. Most likely the guy is in the military.

No. 337636

i was hoping if i got a degree in tech or something i would be able to avoid it. damn.

No. 337722

don’t listen to them nonnie. they probably do this because they don’t know better and/or don’t have anything else to do because they’re the stupid ones. this always happens w the quiet/“weird” (weird only because you don’t meet what they think is normal) girl and the retarded basic ass bitches. i bet you’re amazing and have a great personality whilst they’re just some assholes . ignore them nonnie you’re amazing, and remember, be yourself, don’t change for others it’s not worth it, you cant be likeable to everyone

No. 337723

imo they’re not your true friends nonnie. in a friendship both teams have to listen to one another’s problems/thoughts and so on. i suggest you find some new friends who you can connect easily and who have the same interests/hobbies as you

No. 337726

>can't easily connect with other women because I am socially awkward and make other women uncomfortable and raise their hackles
>they can pretend to be nice to me for short periods of time (short term social setting), but they will never accept me into their groups, at worst they will pick on me/start rumors/ostracize me
>this isn't their fault, it is because I am not socialized well enough like other women so I arouse their instincts that make them think I am shifty when really it's me not knowing the right ways to behave body language/actual language wise
I'm not autistic but I did go to get tested and they said I have a social communication disorder. I even make my mom mad. Women constantly misunderstand me and think I'm being a jerk to them when I'm not. I hate socialization so much I feel like everything I say has 50 hidden meanings to others depending on their mood. And EVERYBODY WANTS TO TEASE ME male or female. People think I'm a rube and they think it's funny that I take things literally and am not good at riffing. Sorry I don't think it's fun to be made fun of. Not. Like I'm no angel I'm on lolcow for a reason but with people I'm close to I don't find that shit fun it just reminds me of being bullied. Like are you an animal why are you playing these dominance games with me. Feel better about yourself now that you knocked me down? Are you king of the castle? Good for you

No. 337727

I love this thread idea!

I have a lot of difficulty understanding female social cues and have been told that I come off as intimidating or cold when I'm just extremely shy around women. I'm pretty sure I am so shy because my mom has untreated BPD and was very abusive to me for most of my life, so I never really had a model of healthy feminine love and support. On top of that, my mom manipulated my first best female friend in high school into exiling me from our friend group and I've never healed from that.

Oddly enough the times where I let go of my fear of women rejecting me were the times that I was able to make friends…I just have trouble maintaining them because the fear that they will cast me out or humiliate me always comes back. I graduated college 2 years ago and my female friends either trooned out or also dropped off the face of the earth.

Although it's sad, I'm glad to see that a lot of other nonnies are in the same boat. It seems like a lot of women take it as a given that any woman that doesn't fit in is a "pick me" when a lot of us are legit autists or traumatized

No. 337739

fucking troons, they’re everywhere. i’m sorry about what happened to you and i’m sorry your friends got brainwashed by the troonerism. do you have maybe another friend or friends who didn’t troon out?

No. 337919

Late to the party, but holy shit I have felt this way all my life. I might have a very mild form of ADD and/or ASD, and I've always been an outsider with no close male or female friends. I bounced between the "normies" and the "freaks" at my uni (was homeschooled straight through high school) and never fit in with either group. I also never outgrew my tomboy phase and looked up to males when I was younger. I also am aware of a lot of moid shit and it freaks me out that a lot of women willingly put up with it, but I would genuinely like a nigel someday if one comes into my life otherwise I won't bother with moids. I know this sounds scrotey but my main problem with interacting with women and girls and being in female-dominated spaces is how judgemental they can be, I just want to be a free tard without a care in the world sometimes. I've also had scenarios where I click with someone and then they get a boyfriend or they already have a boyfriend/husband and they ostracize me because I'm the single weirdo and then they do stuff with other coupled up women. I'm not saying they shouldn't do stuff with other couples or bring me a moid so I'm not the third or fifth wheel, but I've definitely been ghosted like that before and I don't understand why.
>It seems like a lot of women take it as a given that any woman that doesn't fit in is a "pick me" when a lot of us are legit autists or traumatized
I'm so sorry you had to deal with that nona. I grew up with an very misogynistic mother and a less misogynistic father and I feel like I have a lot of "internalized misogyny" because of that. I don't know if I should feel bad for hating my mother more than my father but she did practically crow with glee at the prospect of women and girls with unwanted pregnancies committing suicide after Roe was overturned and she loves to call women and girls including myself sluts if we wear "revealing" clothing, while my father is harsh on women in general at times but still somehow is less bad than my mother. It irritates me when I see feminists, especially radical feminists, downplay the behavior of women like my mother, saying they were victimized by growing up in a misogynistic environment and that they're only behaving like this to survive. My mother just wants to lord it over other women, simple as that. Sorry for the blogpost I just have to get it out there.

No. 337930

Fellow lonely nonas do you fantasize about what it would be like to have another woman as a close friend? I know it’s pathetic but sometimes I daydream about meeting a woman who loves writing and art too and I imagine us meeting at cafes or going to museums together, or just hanging out and working on creative things. I also fantasize about making a friend who doesn’t mind that I was such a shut-in for years that I barely know any media, and she’s happy to rewatch her old favorites even if I’m seeing them for the first time and we could talk and laugh about them. The most embarrassing fantasy as a lifelong tomboy is having a friend who likes to practice makeup on me while we hang out, or maybe while we get ready to go to a concert or something. It would be so comfy to have a friend. There’s so much I would do if I had a friend to do it with. Does anyone else do this kek I want to hear what other people do with their fantasy best friends

No. 337936

Idk is it?
Gnc is a dumb ass concept thought up by gendies

Just fuckin think about it

>I don't wear makeup (gendie)

>I look butch (gendie)

Honestly how much else is there needed to be gnc? You look like a dude but because you're not a dyke or trans you're gnc?

These things aren't new

No. 337940

How is this related to the thread.

No. 337941

Def not alone nona I do this all the time. I’m in a long term relationship so that part of my life is satisfied so I use all of my yearning on a bestie that doesn’t exist. I fantasize about similar things like you. Sending each other memes, finding new songs on Spotify and sending it to them asking their thoughts, showing each other favorite movies etc. And I have a really lame fantasy about getting matching strawberry glasses like in Nana (but having a happier ending lol). It makes me feel a little pathetic but just know it’s not only you.

I recently reconnected with my childhood best friend and I got a little too excited hoping we could have that, but she didn’t respond to my last text and I don’t want to humiliate myself by trying to reach out again. Rejection hurts but I still have hope that I’ll find my bestie one day

No. 337942

Are you me?
>It seems like a lot of women take it as a given that any woman that doesn't fit in is a "pick me" when a lot of us are legit autists or traumatized
I can't complain about this on lolcow anymore because whenever I do I'll get hostile responses calling me a pickme or NLOG. I don't even have any interest in male companionship of any kind. My dad was an asshole, every man I've ever spoken to was an asshole, I don't want to be picked.
My whole life I've just wanted a couple of nice besties but I got bullied a lot in school (I was autistic and probably too much into Neopets) and the girls who did want to spend time with me just didn't seem to like me much and treated me poorly. Now I'm too scared to talk to women and probably too old for making new friends anyway.

No. 337971

I don't think I belong in this thread, but this type of friendship is so hard to find. I don't know if it's just me or if other people feel the same way. My friends are exclusively female, but even still I really wish I had a friend who I could do anything and everything with. Maybe close friendship in general is hard to find… Anyway, my bestie fantasy is having a friend who enjoys going to the movies and local shows with me. It'd be a win-win so I wouldn't have to go to concerts and movies alone and it'd be fun to be introduced to new music and movies I don't know much about. There are so many beer gardens in my city in the summer and I'd love if we met up regularly after work for drinks. And we could drive out to local nature reserves and go hiking on the weekends. That would be a dream. I don't know why, even though I do have a few friends, I still end up doing all of these things by myself (except for the drinking part lol).

No. 338109

GNC as a term definitely existed in both LGB and feminist circles before gendies popped up and twisted the definition as usual. GNC means not conforming to sex stereotypes - and yeah technically everyone's gnc because no one's a walking caricature 24/7, but it's used to refer to a specific, very visible type of non-conformity e.g butches, crossdressers, very feminine men, etc.

No. 338110

GNC as a term definitely existed in both LGB and feminist circles before gendies popped up and twisted the definition as usual. GNC means not conforming to sex stereotypes - and yeah technically everyone's gnc because no one's a walking caricature 24/7, but it's used to refer to a specific, very visible type of non-conformity e.g butches, crossdressers, very feminine men, etc.

No. 338206

I used to fantasize about that growing up and sometimes now. I lost a lot of female friends for being gay, I've never even formerly come out to anyone IRL, but even when I was feminine straight girls sensed there was something "off" about me and treated me badly. It's not even wanting a romantic partner anymore, but I was never seen as or treated like a fellow woman by other woman because of sexuality.

>I can't complain about this on lolcow anymore because whenever I do I'll get hostile responses calling me a pickme or NLOG
Wow, you sound similar to me. Yeah, even in this own thread I've been called a NLOG even though all of my posts say I don't even look down on women different from me, I just feel lesser or an outsider to them. I feel like the way autistic/GNC/lesbian or bi girls get treated by other girls is why they become NLOGs in the first place, it's why I was as a teenager. I don't think it's ever too late or such thing as too old to make friends, but I notice it gets harder after 25 since most adults have a lifestyle they've settled into, and I'm still figuring out how to even get a new social life after losing my high school friends.

No. 338500

i get that but it's just like
i hate the thought that there needs to be some category to separate women from other woman with a term like they aren't normal or something

>gender non conforming

i mean no one needs to conform to something that isn't really there anyway

gender = classification of age based on sex

there are of course stereotypes associated with anything that exists, to me it's just like, yeah that person individually tends to be different on certain specific things but i would never see the need to think that someone is non-conforming as if there's some expectation that we are conforming in a way, it's just a natural thing sometimes and if you don't want to be a certain way it's nature/nurture/choice

you know, like a tomboy is a tomboy but its still a girl

just my thoughts though

No. 338587

i tried to act like Link from tloz games because i was obsessed with oot. courageous, brash but silent even if sometimes he gets loud when it hurts.

No. 338637

>I come off as intimidating or cold when I'm just extremely shy
Yeah, I get this a lot too. Lot of men are offended/intimidated by me when in actuality, I'm a lot more intimidated by them. I can't relate to men or women. Even if I'm comfortable, I still don't have much to say and I feel like I can't ever meet people on my "wavelength" if that makes sense. Never been diagnosed with autism but I have dealth with anxiety and general ignorance of social situations. OVertime, I've developed more social awareness

No. 338655

Relate to this thread so much. I'm a massive autist with moid brain from spending my formative years internet browsing and consuming male dominated media. I've never liked 'girls' things and never pretended to cause I've never been able to lie. I feel so disconnected from other women and I can only assume that's why. I don't want to be an NLOG, I want to be accepted. Also being socially retarded doesn't help kek.
The worst part is whenever a girl asks for my instagram or tiktok and I tell her honestly I don't have one cause I don't I only use image boards and they act like I'm lying or I'm weird for not having them.

No. 338665

Has anyone found servers or communities online that are 30+ and chill for nonas? I'm starting to actually feel the toll for the first time of not having other women around. I do have some online friends, but we're all kinda spread out and have different schedules due to work and school. Bonus points if there are midwest nonnies, because I'm new to the region and I feel depressive and isolated.

No. 338741

Wtf this is brilliant. I hope it exists.

No. 338746

I'd love for something like this! I'm open to being friends with anyone 20+ but sometimes it makes me feel weird to only hang out with younger adults online, it makes me wonder where all the 30+ or even 25+ women are. Not to mention, a lot of my online friends are in different timezones and are online when I'm at work or asleep.

No. 338883

i spent 12 years on 4chan and now i cannot make normal friends because my humor is so far gone and every interaction feels stale

its over for me unironically

No. 338950

File: 1688506040442.jpeg (97.14 KB, 800x467, Britney Computer.jpeg)

ayrt and I know how you feel! Its just awkward and it makes the friend making process more arduous than it needs to be. I'm trying to find other women who are in the same age range as me and being child free isn't a hard requirement, but I don't have kids right now and I'd like to be able to have fun with women who also aren't tied down by them.

No. 338951

I wish the whole forum culture would still be around and you could just find your special community. It's so hard to find the group that fits you today and as someone who grew up rejecting nearly every female person around her, it's strange to "wake up" in your 30s and realise that you don't have any female friends at all and that it's one thing that you are really missing. I'm not from the midwest (not even from your continent), but if you find a community, please share.

No. 338976

Same ayrt and I agree wholeheartedly. I miss traditional style forums and I remember when people claimed they'd make a comeback with zoomers being so interested in web culture of our time, but I've yet to see that. If I do manage to find a community, I'll happily share it.

This just feels so crappy.

No. 339012

AYRT. Honestly, I would say being childfree matters to me when it comes to friends; Before I get called a NLOG in this thread again - I don't look down on mothers or married women, I just live a different lifestyle from them and can't relate. I'm happy to be out of my 20s, but the hardest part is how much harder it is to find like-minded friends. I see Gen Zs assume that they'll stop having their hobbies and interests at 30 and I wish that was true.

Everything has disappeared to private circles, too. I personally enjoy small niche Discord servers but they're so hard to find, the ones I'm in are for close friends only and I was invited my acquaintances, and the public ones tend to suck.

No. 339042

File: 1688567357663.jpg (150.23 KB, 800x526, tumblr_n5spc1bAZF1sirkk6o1_128…)

Same anon and I agree. I don't look down on married women or mothers either. Its just different when they have a family and of course their family comes first. I'd never expect to be the priority. I just don't want to deal with the scheduling conflicts again or feeling like we're all on very different levels when it comes to being able to relate to one another. My aunts are all great about having a balance between still doing things with their girlfriends and being mothers. They don't neglect either side and I love that about them because they also have careers on top of it all and husbands who love them.

>public Discord servers

Hard agree. I made the mistake of trying those out years ago and briefly during pandemic when we were all forced to be inside and it was just terrible. The mature and 18+ tags equate to sex with those people and its troublesome how even when you go into a 25+ server, you'll see at least one rogue fresh out of high schooler that wandered in and the mods let them stay for what I assume are nefarious reasons. Saying something about it awakens some weird borg chip in their brains and the entire server gangs up on you right before you're banned and they act like you're the crazy one for wondering what the fuck people at very different stages of their lives have in common with one another.

No. 339064

Ayrt, unfortunately I don't (downside of going to a liberal arts school) but I'm definitely determined to make friends in the new area I'm moving to.

>It irritates me when I see feminists, especially radical feminists, downplay the behavior of women like my mother, saying they were victimized by growing up in a misogynistic environment and that they're only behaving like this to survive. My mother just wants to lord it over other women, simple as that.
Completely agree nonnie. I understand why people on here are quick to defend women but regardless of how much our mom's behaviors were caused by men, /they/ were still the people who didn't get help for their behavior and hurt us, their daughters, directly…

No. 339470

>they act like you're the crazy one for wondering what the fuck people at very different stages of their lives have in common with one another.
>tfw the only people actively discussing my hobby are zoomers and i'm seen as a creep for simply enjoying our conversations
you can't fucking win

No. 339476

I wish nonnies like you posted their info in the friend finder threads… I relate so much and it’s so hard to find other women that don’t judge or get weirded out by more moidbrained behaviours (I can’t blame them but it hurts still)

No. 339478

File: 1688911170773.jpg (203.05 KB, 450x450, 6a011168668cad970c022ad35ef345…)

Ayrt and I get where you're coming from, but these were mostly moid mods and I got the feeling that they weren't just talking about shared hobbies together. I'll admit that until pandemic/lockdown/quarantine I forgot that zoomers even existed and would be online because I didn't interact with people that much younger than me offline. My classes were full of people around my age and older and so was my job. I've been using pinterest for the first time lately and I do see how the commenters on lots of things I save both fandom and makeup wise are mostly zoomers.. and they kinda stay saying retarded shit. I truly do see what people mean now about how they look for excuses to bring up trannies or gender bullshit out of nowhere or invent reasons to get soapboxy in the comments over an imaginary 'cause'.

Nta (I was literally typing a reply up to the one above you as your post came up kek) but I posted my stuff in ff and I can relate to you guys. Its just that I took some time offline and I've been able to somewhat (though not always successfully) integrate into a semblance of normalcy. There are still residual traits there though. I also feel the need to warn you to exercise caution with adding such people because while I'm not saying that the nonas you're quoting have ulterior motives, but I have seen nonas end up pulling a 180 on others and trying to hurt them or collect info. I've also been on the receiving end of nonas pretending to want to talk to us (myself and other women in a group) and just because we didn't respond within 2 minutes, she freaked out, called us vapid whores, and stormed out of the chat. We still suspect that she was probably a friend of incels who joined because she thought it would make her look good to crap all over total strangers.

No. 339546

Pet retard. So fucking true.
Never looked to for an opinion, casually ignored, always the odd one out, standing awkwardly behind the others.
They're nice, but you can feel that you're not welcome, that you don't belong.

No. 339564

In my experience they also talked to other people for me like I can't fucking talk at all. I was a bit shy but not mute to the extent I need someone to explain what I am for others.

No. 339656

my body is flat as board. i am a gym rat but not the smoking hot one. women and men alike keep rejecting me. god damn it at this point i understand why so many fugly gnc women troon out. at least as a "man" your salary increases , you got woke points and it's not like you've sacrificed anything. i hate being myself. i hate it.

No. 339826

Multiple women have called me a pick-me for having (somewhat controversial) opinions. For having "male" hobbies. For joking with men. Apparently, if you do that, you have been indoctrinated and want to suck up to males. True freedom is being a gurrrrly gurrrl but, like, in the empowering way. Playing video games and liking cars is a phase, which you must go through in order to become your true self, i.e. a feminine gurrrl. They also think I'm intimidated by makeup for some reason, and, by extension, that their makeup skills and feminine clothes intimidate people. Hilarious.

No. 339827

>Multiple women have called me a pick-me for having (somewhat controversial) opinions
Like what?

No. 339829

I don't know anyone irl who is rejected by men and women (certainly not women) simply because they are flat. Most of the time, it's just low self-esteem, what shoots you in the leg. But if your self-esteem is so low that things like transition come to your mind, there are breast plastic surgeries – and you don't have to have giga cups, silicone breasts can look decent and natural.

No. 339832

Unless you live in a third world country, I don't think they care nonna. Girls can feel when you're creepy or not. I was also a little afraid of it when I came out but all my friends didn't care and hadn't even thought about it.

No. 339836

Being flat can’t be your problem, plenty of people like small-breasted women (t.) I think there’s another factor you aren’t realizing.

No. 339848

You do sacrifice something: your health. I'm a detransitioner and health problems just kept accumulating and worsening each year I was on testosterone. I don't recommend it. Also I'm flat now thanks to top surgery and just grateful to have a mostly functional body after that ordeal. Sorry, I know that's not super helpful. I agree with the other anons that other factors are more important than bust size.

No. 339866

>at least as a "man" your salary increases
Lol fuck right off.

No. 339885

Nta but homophobes still exist in first world countries too

No. 339930

i said that to make things shorter. the women i met just told me they dislike my masculine features. and it's deeply hurtful. and no, i won't participate in the patriarchal mindgame and get plastic in my tits.

No. 339935

File: 1689173543699.gif (210.93 KB, 220x201, ugh-rolling-eyes.gif)

Pretty sure anon is referring to places that execute lesbians for attempting to flee to Turkey for asylum like what happened in 2021/2022, but go off pretending nona..

No. 339994

Huh pretending what? I thought she meant people caring in general when she said that they wouldn't care "unless you're in ___"

No. 340002

Autistic as fuck but I find it easier to relate to other women now that I've been lurking here. Having been influenced by 4chan and pickme culture really lead me to denigrate myself and subsequently other women. Took me a while to see the problem isn't other women but the scrotes themselves.

No. 340065

I'm so upset at myself for going on testosterone. I take accountability for it, but fuck. I have to train my voice now. I look like a butch, but I feel so sick thinking about how I ruined myself with moid hormones. I fucking hate the gender cult. I was an autistic tomboy growing up and I was ostracized by men and women. They all thought I was weird and annoying. I hated myself so much. Then, moids started to incorporate sexual harassment into their bullying. I felt ugly and hated my body. Ended up in a codependent relationship where I made the drastic decision to "transition" (the ultimate self harm in a weird attempt to gain any semblance of control over my identity).

I hate myself. I hate being insecure. I wish I could connect with other woman but I feel like a complete outsider. I can't read anyone and I've had so many people lie about being friends with me. Last girl I was friends with was just pretending so she could fuck my ex bf behind my back.

Why can't I have girl friends

No. 340068

I'll start by saying I do not intend to make male friends again, that chapter of my life is long behind me. I'm very good at friendships with women one on one but as soon as I'm thrown into a group I get alienated. I don't know how this happens, I always find myself in the role of "butt of every joke" and I notice a distinct amount of teasing that the other group members do not get subjected to. Maybe they sense my unease but I've even tried being open about that element with women I've found trustworthy in our solo friendships. They say they feel sympathetic and reassure me. Regardless, as soon as we're in the group I'm just the strange one that everyone picks on. When I express hurt I'm told I'm essentially imagining it and I believe it but this last time one person from the group reached out to me autonomously to reassure me. I did not prompt the interaction at all and was not thinking that this person would be the sort to show up like that. Well, she did and I feel less insane. Somehow in group dynamics I am just ganged up on. I trigger some bully reflex in people or something. My gf says it's probably because I seem confident, that maybe they think I can take it without being affected. I'm not sure who the fuck is able to take that much mockery of their looks and personality and life experience while others in the group are not subjected to such treatment.

No. 340069

When you say that youve had so many friends lie about being friends with you, what do you mean?

No. 340115

When I was in highschool I would have my male friend groups secretly talk about how they hated me in group chats. Girls didn't really talk to me at the time, so no experience with girls outside of a few.

No. 340121

I'm in a position where I prefer male spaces but dislike 95% of the things in them. I don't like how coomer it gets, I don't like how they lament about women or the retarded things they say about women but I greatly enjoy the atmosphere of banter, playfulness and the sometimes weird but interesting conversations. I'm in a girl group as well but there are no interesting conversations about anything.. just boyfriend posting, male hateposting, hate following some woman I couldn't give any less of a shit about. I constantly feel like I have to walk on eggs shells around women too otherwise I could piss someone off and being hated by another woman is the worst feeling in the world to me. I have male centric interests like anime, pcs, games etc but they're female orientated (obviously) So while I do have something in common with guys I also don't at the same time. I'm a older fujo too so the majority of manga I read and drama I watch are obviously of the BL genre which I feel like most women my age find gross and immature so I can't relate with anyone there and interacting with younger women is a no for me as I can't really stand dealing with young people in general. I don't wear makeup or anything but I do like to look presentable with my clothing , skin care, primping etc and I can't say I'm "into fashion" or anything but I definitely prefer dressing on the more cutesy and girly side. I'm on the pc pretty much 24/7 and I don't really like leaving my house so finding other women to talk to irl seems impossible but even if it were my interests are just way too niche to talk with to people irl anyway. I'm also wholeheartedly devoted to learning japanese so a great deal of the content I watch and read is raw too which further plummets me down into being forever friendless…I remember this one time I went with my husband to a dinner his boss invited him to a few years ago and 2 women were there who I spoke maybe 2 sentences to in total. They were talking and being cheery with each other meanwhile I'm just clinging to my husband the entire time wishing that were me. I still feel pathetic about it to this day

No. 340123

I getyou, sister.

'Girly-girls' get weirdly offended when you try to banter with them, it's off-putting.

The best I can really offer is to try finding Scandi moids to hang out with in internet spaces.

From my POV, Girl-centric internet has been invaded by normie girls, and it sucks, we didn't want them there and they absolutely do shit it up for nerdy females seeking other nerdy females.

No. 340388

File: 1689447385712.png (8.43 KB, 400x400, 1689190764046477.png)

You sound similar to me, nona, like eerily similar. We'd probably get along pretty well, I don't really know what to say other than that.

No. 340448


Hey, you sound cool! I relate to you. There's a lot of girls like us, but it's just hard to find groups sometimes.

No. 340454

I feel like I'm even more alienated from other "geeky" women cause my favorite games are very male-oriented and as such I don't have a chance to hang out with female nerds that much.
I'm a big turn-based strategy and Paradox fan, and yeah, we do have female fans (it's not like those games are very obscure, so gamers of all kinds are there) but when I meet another gamer woman I just drone out cuase I can't give less of a shit about another jrpg or adventure game. I mean, look at out vidya thread at /m/. It's mostly anons posting about Nintendo or indie adventures. Who cares? Not me, definitely.
It's also doesn't help that I don't care all that much about shipping or thirsting after husbandos, thinking about a bunch of pixels having sex is stupid to me.

No. 340483

> I'm a big turn-based strategy and Paradox fan, and yeah, we do have female fans
Hey, me too! What other games do you like? My favorite is Gary Grigsby's War in the East and War in the Pacific.
Out of Paradox games, it's CK2, but my recent guilty pleasure is Imperator: Rome. The latter is not hard but any Paradox game after HOI3 is casual, plus the wars of the Diadochi was fucking kino. It was worth playing I:R for that alone.
Other games I really like are FromSoft games my favorite being Bloodborne.
> It's also doesn't help that I don't care all that much about shipping or thirsting after husbandos
Eh, I'm guilty of doing that occasionally but it's mostly waifus for me.

No. 340505

>Eh, I'm guilty of doing that occasionally but it's mostly waifus for me.
Nayrt, but I was thinking about something related to this earlier. I definitely think being a lesbian or mostly into women (and consequently into more scrote-oriented media) is one of the most common factors that result in feeling alienated from other, especially straight, women.
Recently I got so tired of interacting with scrotes I've been trying to go the opposite way and getting, at least superficially, into BL and such (as I'm already familiar with the weeb scene and don't mind shipping anyway) but I just can't bring myself to care particularly much about most male characters (nor find them attractive). It just feels like I really don't belong even in "weird woman" spaces, and if I was a fujo I could find some sense of community at least, but seeing nonnies struggling in similar ways is comforting…

No. 340517

File: 1689535715064.jpg (67.52 KB, 319x361, situation_sucks.jpg)

> is one of the most common factors that result in feeling alienated from other, especially straight, women
It really is. Although in my case, I'm partly to blame. It's difficult for me to not fall for a woman who has similar let alone common interests with me. At my previous workplace, the girl I've worked with was into soulsborne games, sci-fi, tech etc. and I feel like a creep for developing feelings just like that while trying not to. She was straight and already had a bf but I don't know if I could cultivate a friendship without getting myself a heartache.
> It just feels like I really don't belong even in "weird woman" spaces,
It sucks. I can't get into BL or fujo communities either but I can't think of other "weird woman" spaces that I could potentially join. And then again, whenever I'm in spaces dominated by women, because of my potential attraction to them, I feel like a predator but that's my problem and something I should work on.

No. 340519

Same, except I like post apocalyptic stuff, horror and shooters (like the Metro series, S.t.a.l.k.e.r, Dying Light etc). I'm just glsd I'm not alone in this lol

No. 340533

>It's difficult for me to not fall for a woman who has similar let alone common interests with me.
I think most lesbians can relate to this sadly, especially when coupled with how small our dating pool is. It got a bit better for me after going through a few disappointing “relationships” (with people with very similar tastes to mine, specifically), I might’ve involuntarily put myself off from seeking romantic connections but it’s not looking much better now since, as I mentioned, finding women I can click with to befriend is just as rare…
>And then again, whenever I'm in spaces dominated by women, because of my potential attraction to them, I feel like a predator but that's my problem and something I should work on.
I think as long as you don’t act creepy or predatory towards those women most probably wouldn’t mind (or even know), I don’t see why they would unless you were dealing with raging homophobes (I understand this doesn’t work as smoothly in every country, though). Romantic attraction to people is just natural and something we can’t really control, and most women usually approach it much differently than the average raging scrote, so I’m sure you’re fine in that sense nona. Dealing with heartache and your own self perception is a different task, though…

No. 340543

> with people with very similar tastes to mine
Do you mind telling more about your interests? And I'm sorry to hear about the disappointing relationships, I hope you find happiness soon enough! But yeah, finding women with similar interests romantically or not gets tougher with every year and it's also highly dependent on your location. Even lesbians in big cities complain about the terrible dating pool. It's nightmare mode difficulty once you're in a relatively small town. Same goes for finding (girl)friends. I tried getting into cooking classes and anything that was available near me for some group activities and while there were more women there, it's hard to establish a connection when apart from cooking together, we don't have much else in common. I always get a feeling I need to put on a mask so it doesn't work out.
> unless you were dealing with raging homophobes
Only a select few people know about my attraction to women. I've never been with a man but most people assume I'm straight so while interacting with lots of straight women in a rather liberal part of Europe, I was unpleasantly surprised how disdainful and hateful they can be when talking about lesbians. Not all obviously but enough to make me self-conscious when I'm among them.
> Dealing with heartache and your own self perception is a different task, though…
True and it's a very long and arduous process for me. I hope it's not the same for you. And thanks for the kind words, anon!

No. 340549

>I've never been with a man but most people assume I'm straight so while interacting with lots of straight women in a rather liberal part of Europe, I was unpleasantly surprised how disdainful and hateful they can be when talking about lesbians.
I've had this happen too and it made me really paranoid about befriending straight women. At my old job my female coworkers and manager were super liberal when the butch from frontend or zoomers were around, but I guess I passed for straight because when we were alone they'd say the most vile shit to me about lesbians.

No. 340553

>Do you mind telling more about your interests?
Sure, although they're very standard male imageboard user ones… I used to be really, really into japanese media, I'm not nearly as much now but I'm probably more knowledgeable than desired still. Lately I've been trying to mostly consume western movies and music, in an attempt to click with more and different kinds of people, but even there I often end up turning towards more niche or male-dominated genres (eg. I really like older war movies and history in general, but I refuse to befriend autistic males just because of it).
For that same reasons games likes the ones you mentioned have always sounded interesting to me, but growing up I couldn't play vidya at all, so I'm not that big of a gamer admittedly.
It's nice to hear you've been trying though, nona, it's not always easy to put yourself out there! I have been eyeing some painting courses near me too, but as you said I wouldn't really expect to make any long lasting connection from those (plus I'm picturing most of the women to be in their late 30s/40s, with families and such, which would make clicking even harder), It's probably still nice as a new experience, as it's sadly been a while from the last time I made new irl friends, or interacted in group settings outside of school/work ahah.
>Only a select few people know about my attraction to women. I've never been with a man but most people assume I'm straight so while interacting with lots of straight women in a rather liberal part of Europe, I was unpleasantly surprised how disdainful and hateful they can be when talking about lesbians.
Oh, I relate a lot! I also am European and usually straight-passing, which I understand is a bit of a privilege… I had some peculiar experiences actually, I found more than one woman calling herself bisexual/“bi-curious” in the wild, but I have no idea how much of it was genuine and how much mostly performative due to, as you said, spending most of my time in a relatively liberal city. It made me feel like less of an outcast in a way, but at the same time like my sexuality should be an accessory to parade around vs just something that is there? I don't know, pretty weird situation all in all.
>I hope it's not the same for you.
It sadly has been, but it feels more bearable lately, as I mentioned. Thank you nona, you're very kind too, I really appreciated your well wishes!

No. 340654

omgomg lets sperg about tf2 nonnie (dinos too, but i don't have that much knowledge when it comes to them)

No. 340799

>Nayrt, but I was thinking about something related to this earlier. I definitely think being a lesbian or mostly into women (and consequently into more scrote-oriented media) is one of the most common factors that result in feeling alienated from other, especially straight, women.
NTA but I'm in a similar boat, I don't even bother posting what games/female characters/etc I like because I know I'll get accused of being a moid even by some other lesbians. (I wouldn't even say I have that scroteish tastes since I hate most fanservice and modern anime, I mostly like the same stuff I did in high school.) Being in mixed-sex or mostly male nerd spaces even online made me like a hen in a fox house, I was always scared of moids sexually harassing me (and some have hit on me when I was younger despite being openly into waifus and whatnot). But then in female nerdy spaces, I 100% prefer it, but I worry I make women uncomfortable, or I was often the only lesbian there.

>It sucks. I can't get into BL or fujo communities either but I can't think of other "weird woman" spaces that I could potentially join.
Same. I like homosexual ships in general, but I just can't get invested in M/M as much as F/F to be a full-blown fujo and talk to women primarily into BL. I kind of envy lesbian fujoshi since that would be a perfect gateway to weird woman spaces and meeting similar lesbians.

A big reason why I'm such a loner IRL is most women around me are straight and married with kids. I know this will get me called a NLOG again, but I've lost so many friendships growing up for being a lesbian, I just don't want to bother befriending 99% of straight women anymore. I've had moments where I "passed as straight" and these women would say things to my face about how scared they are of lesbians raping them or how lesbians aren't real, it's so hard to feel "sisterhood" when most women hate you.

No. 340909

I don't know how to make friends and I feel like my hobbies are especially weird. I like J-Pop idols, shoujo manga, and JRPGs. The only other girl I ever met who liked shoujo moved away when I was young, the people who like my J-Pop idol bands can't stop constantly doing mental gymnastics to justify their interest in them and they mostly talk on fucking shitcord, and straight up no women seem to like the same games as me.
I don't have the money to join a club or take a class and I'm too shy to say what my favorite interests are because I've been plenty judged for them before. I wish I could go back to my childhood self and tell her to stop poisoning her taste with weird super niche stuff.

I hope it gets better when I get a different job.

No. 340930

I'm not a jpop fan in general but there is one jpop idol group I'm fan of and I cant find any female fans who are my age. Male fans seem pretty active in the fandom but I don't wanna talk with them. The younger female fans all have their roots in kpop and I genuinely don't feel like dealing with their "slay queen" shit or how you aren't allowed to say anything slightly negative about a member because it makes you an anti[spoiler]that word makes me barf so much[/apoiler] even though the whole point of the group is that the members builds and improves talents and competes against each other so it should be encouraged to point out a member's weakness. I know there are women my age who likes this group too since I have found old inactive fanblogs but I don't know where they are now. they probably all moved to discord too.

I get the impression that the women who got interested in jpop and idols back in the 00-10 lost interest and moved on to other stuff but I still see men who have supported the same groups for years

No. 341024

>I don't have the money to join a club or take a class
I feel like the "join a club/take classes" advice gets treated as too one-size-fits-all online. I think they're worth a try if you otherwise don't have many friends IRL, but it's random if they work out or not. And I don't even know how to manage them now when I'm a full-time wageslave. The last time I took a class for a more broader hobby (art/cooking/etc.) to make female friends, I was the youngest woman there, and I'm in my thirties. Online groups with more specific sperg interests tend to be moid/coomer infested so I don't bother.

No. 341035

I have a lot of trouble relating to average women. Despite being straight (and not in denial or closeted) I often find myself in situations where I feel more comfortable around lesbians or non-binary/TIFs rather than my fellow straight women and it makes me feel like a weird outcast even more. Like I don't belong with the gays since I'm straight and never identified as a tranny either and I also don't belong with the straight women since their life and relationships tend to be very focused on their current bf and I'm single, virgin and have no experience. When I talk to them I can't add anything new to the convo. Then there's the other category of nerdy straight women who should be more similar to me but a lot of them still end up gushing about romance, a topic which I genuinely despise. I don't wanna hear about ships, it doesn't make make my heart flutter, I don't "self-insert" or project on the heroine and it only reminds me of how single and lonely I am. It makes me feel jealous because they're still so open to the idea of love and dating men, while I know that in reality men are not interested in me. I'm not ugly by any means I just can't socialize with them, I don't know how to flirt and they never make the first move. They seem to acknowledge my presence but at the same time it's like they're scared of me. I've seen them laugh and have fun with girls that have very average looks, so it's not like they only go for hyper attractive girls, and they seem to get seduced so easily meanwhile it's like I'm completely invisible. I almost don't feel like a proper girl, as I said I never identified as a tranny, but at the same time I feel like I'm so alienated from the average female experience and that I'm only a weird sexless blob drifting in the universe

No. 341037

I've never met another volcel woman irl, ever since I started working all the women around me were either dating/married, hooking up or lamenting the fact that they were single, the first time I saw other women like me was here.

No. 341044

men eat this shit up. you likely have many distant admirers who are too cowardly or intimidated to talk to you.

No. 341048

Nta but I related a lot to her post and no we don't, women like us know when we're socially invisible, and even if we did have "distant admirers" it wouldn't change anything as long as they don't confess, what kind of middle school advice is that?

No. 341052

>you likely have many distant admirers who are too cowardly or intimidated to talk to you.
Yeah, only because they want to fuck women like her. How is this response useful or reassuring?

No. 341414

Anon you are literally me, I'm not delusional but I'm not fugly either, and am generally dressed more feminine than most of my female peers and yet I still get zero male attention. I have alot of conflicting feelings and hang ups regarding my sexuality, I want to have a boyfriend and have sex but I also feel like it's very unnatural and out of character for me. I am ashamed to have desires and crushes, and people always seem uncomfortable/taken aback when they realise that I am a sexual being. No guy has ever "slid into my dms" back when I had social media, no guy has ever confessed to me, it makes me feel like I'll never be a real woman. A lot of people seem genuinely shocked when I tell them that I am not a lesbian, it's like the very idea of me being in love with a man is incongruent with reality. Sometimes my inner femcel takes over and I get kind of sad that guys seem to like boring girls more than girls with similar interests, it's like being into the same shit that they are is a turn off for some reason. I used to convince myself that the guys I liked would like me because my personality would win them over but so far they have always chosen another more 'basic' girl over me. I've also seen way uglier girls get confessions and love letters and it makes me wonder what is so wrong with me lol.

No. 341427

If men don't like you or never make the first move it's because you're ugly. Men don't care about social skills or personality. They would date a mute retarded woman as long as she is hot and young. In fact they would prefer her over a hot woman who can talk.

No. 341449

No. 341454

Men never make the first move on women they like, thats hollywood bs. Men are waiting to be picked, you know if a guy likes you if he is in your presence waiting for you to do something. In nature, the male never picks the female, the female picks the male. And despite all societal rules telling us its reversed, its very much an instinct that cant be changed. As women we are told not to make the first move, but thats very much what literally almost every woman do, however subtly, like keeping eye contact with a guy she is attracted to.

No. 341463

Kinda same, except I'm bi but khv nonetheless. I'm quite gnc especially when it comes to personality but not butt ugly, and I've never had men approach me. I also have little interest in a committed relationship with a moid, which makes it really weird to listen to women tell about their experiences with dating and talk about their nigel when I just have to nod awkwardly and pretend I totally get it.

No. 341464

as if socially inexperienced, insecure, anxious, shy guys too afraid to make the first move don't exist

No. 341481

Males prefer dumb normies whores instead of NLOG with "interesting personality"
Took you long enough to understand this, jesus.

No. 341485

If a moid is too spineless coward who's afraid to make a move towards the woman he likes, do you really think that such a worthless soboy deserves your attention?
Or you have such low self-esteem that you pick up trash?

No. 341487

this isn't the pinkpill thread shut up

No. 341495

Is that really all there is to it or is that just copium? Even the non-normie guys that I know irl seem to gravitate towards extremely boring and plain girls with no defined personality traits or interests, so maybe you're right anon. It's just frustrating because I constantly see men on social media say that women are NPCs and that women are boring when they purposefully ignore the women with hobbies and an inner life of their own. I've been lucky enough to meet and befriend quite a few very interesting and funny women but they never really get that much male attention despite being decently attractive.

No. 341497

ive seen the opposite happen irl quite often , eccentric (but pretty) girls are more desired and thristed after/moids put in more effort for them vs more basic ''boring'' girls were also very popular but moids put in like 0 effort for them or just pump and dump

No. 341502

samefag but i think it comes down to just that the type of moid that can appreciate a girl with hobbies that are unconventional and has eccentricities is just also more likely to be a semi decent nigel and respect her a little more vs moids who dont

No. 341508

The fuck???? What kind of misogynistic scrote shit is this? You seem like you're projecting quite a bit there. Nona.

No. 341509

No. 341525

i also feel that guys go for basic girls because they are more aproacheble and simple, and they can feel a sense of superiority over them and can show off. but i don’t wanna fall in this “guys go for dumb girls and ignore the good ones” which is just nice guy rhetoric for women.

the real difference is that other girls are more socially apt than me, and i underestimated how important that is. they and are more warm, friendly and have other social qualities that make them desirable. even if i’m more serious, loyal more pretty and whatever society told me was valuable in a person, i lack a lot in places which makes it harder for others to get close to me or mingle in lots of groups and they are not to blame. i was wrong to expect that people would be kinder about it and that i would just seem “quirky” and be accepted.

in reality men go for what is easiest. they have almost no confidence in themselves ( cause they aren’t some social geniuses either ) and try their luck with the most accesible welcoming non-threathing girl they have around.
it’s a kind of hierarchy of women they have not even based on looks, style, weight, but on how perceptive you are and your likability. which should make it easier to date for normal people but for me all this social openness and expected all round positivity makes it 10x harder

No. 341530

I hate that I can't make female friends as easily as other girls. I've been working in this place for some time with another girl, and I can't feel comfortable around her or around the new employees. The worst thing is that the new girls seem to get along with each other perfectly, including the girl who started working with me, so I feel left out.
Maybe I'm retarded but sometimes I even feel like they make fun of me, maybe im wrong but it feels so weird to be around them because I don't feel welcomed, I don't feel like I belong. I just wanna have female friends or at least not feeling weird and stupid when im with them.

No. 341532

I don't intentionally make friends with other women. They just kind of… adopt me. Like I'm a retarded pet. Older women especially like to dote on me.

Honestly the best way to make/keep friends in general is by remembering shit about them, making an effort to talk to them, and by giving them shit. It's like harvest moon.

No. 341533

I just said men like that exist which might explain the lack of initiative, but I agree, if someone can't overcome their shyness or whatever and express their interest in you, they don't care about you that much

No. 341540

A lot of non-normie people feel like they failed to conform so they want and treat a normie partner as their gateway to normalcy. For instance, if you play a lot of games and are sick of it, a girlfriend who hates them will be preferable because it means she will not encourage it and you will likely do something else together, you can abandon the hobby you secretly despise. People often gravitate to those different than them, especially if they don't like themselves. Additionally, they might associate boring and plain girls with stability, conformist safety, agreeableness

No. 341545

File: 1690155661647.png (118.62 KB, 264x400, IMG_8627.png)

I never realized what was happening around me and why it seemed that I almost always fell in this inferior spot, being told lots of sly comments to which I couldn't say anything back, feeling excluded but still being asked to do things for them which iI had no way of refusing without appearing “mean” etc until I found this book “ Odd Girl Out.The Hidden Culture of Aggression in Girls” by Rachel Simmons, which helped me understand what my little brain never could figure out about social dynamics.

Girls are the best and men could never replace the depth they have, but if they are ill intentioned they can make your life a living hell and keep you walking on eggshells wondering what you have done wrong, say shit behind your back just to secure a better social image, ESPECIALLY if you say different things and seem naive.

It’s like having a target placed on your head. This book talked about how girls understand early on that your social relationships are the most valued thing we as girls posses and they know that your social reputation is the most important and at the same time sensible thing you have. Gossiping behind your back about whatever little thing you did wrong or said wrong helps them bond with the other girls they wanna have on their side in order to feel secure.

I always wondered why girls seem to love to make me feel like I am not one of them until I figured it’s just a social game they play in order to garner attention and importance in group settings. If you don’t have other people around like you who are less conventional, you are screwed, cause anything that doesn’t conform is othered.

No one warns you of how scheming girls can get and you’re told all girls are these angels who never do no wrong, but if you’re autistic the invisible nuanced shit they do keeps you in a constant state of paranoia about why you are not enough, but the whole point is to make you feel bad. Girls have this undetectable way of turning your back and making sure you know and never being direct about anything. Being direct as a girl seems to be the biggest faux pas ever and being passive and ambiguous is how you should approach things (?)

No. 341546

Being an autistic girl is so incredibly hard. With all the experiences I've had of people taking advantage of how gullible and naive I was and secretly giggling about how weird I was, I have no idea how redpillers can say that women have it "easier". If you don't fit an exact mold you're socially isolated.

It's so refreshing to see people finally talk about this. Neurotypicals will go crazy about validating neopronouns for reddit brownie points but will then go and laugh at an autistic girl's "weird" special interests.
If you're an autistic guy, the guys will still let you into the group and be like "meh he's a bit weird but he's chill and funny"

My whole silver lining of all of this, is the few best friends I've made have been true, loving, empathetic lifelong friends I've had for years. Even if I don't fit in with the instagram girl squads who have bridesmaid parties and hawaii trips in matching bikinis, I have something far better and far more real. I remember asking a therapist if she could "train me to be more normal" and she said "As long as you are not being rude or inappropriate, if people do not like you because you are neurodivergent, it is entirely their problem." That always stuck with me as comforting.

No. 341559

nona, are you me? i relate to you so heavily. i hate autistic men, tbh. they get away with being weird while autistic girls are just told to get normal or be spinsters. i'm glad you have friends. it doesn't mater if it's not the stereotypical sex and the city friendship! good for you nona, makes me more hopeful for myself.

No. 341577

I could have written all of this. It’s so tiresome. I wouldn’t even care about being excluded if they could just tell me why.

No. 341578

>being direct is the biggest faux pas ever
Samefagging to add yeah it absolutely is. But I’m not capable of being any other way.

No. 341580

Sorry you have no understanding of biology and how females have always pciked the males they like and not vice versa in all of earths history. Show me an animal where the male choses the female and not the female chosing the highest quality male. Doesnt exist. Sorry you'd rather settle for pickup artists that dead approach you as a stranger rather than go and pick the male you find attractive as a mate.

No. 341582

invoking biology is so dumb, you do know those animals fight each other to death in order to be picked, not wait around for a sexy female gorilla to ask them out for dinner ?
the men who are too afraid to act on their attraction to women are losers. no healthy man past the age of like 15 is a little bitch who expects women to dote on him and magically chose them, that’s the incel dream

No. 341585

In addition to being a sperg, I’m a masculine, misandrist, child free lesbian living in the south. It’s over.

No. 341595

>omg guiz just ask men outt!!!
Why? Why would women ask men out when men are known to say yes to any woman even if they're not attracted to her because they're desperate for affecrion/sex?

No. 341610

>Show me an animal where the male choses the female
There are tons of animals where the male is pursuing a female and all she does is reject or accept, the most obvious example being pigeons. Who even cares about biology, it's like you have no understanding how people think and behave. Do you seriously think every man sits and waits for the woman they have a crush on to read their mind and approach them because "this is how it works in the animal kingdom"? And that every woman knows that she has to initiate, based on no signs of attraction? No, it would be stupid and solipsistic to believe everyone thinks the same as you and wait for the other side to approach, if you are interested in someone, you have to express it somehow to let them know, regardless of your sex.

No. 341614

Im not saying to ask men out, you autists have no sense of subtlety. I guess thats why you are in this thread. You let a guy know you like him, and then he chases you. Its like none of you know how to flirt or show a man you are interested without saying it straight out. If you have a resting bitch face and sit awkwardly in a corner stimming, you really think any guy is going to approach you apart from predatory pickup artists? No! No sane girls would approach you either.

And btw, almost all women have chosen their partner apart from ones who were married off. Your grandma would drop her handkerchief in front of the man she liked and let him pick it up and give it to her, and then make his move on her. You shoot a guy you like a look, give him a little smile, stuff like that. Use your charm to get the guy you think is attractive, waiting around for men to approach your weird uninterested acting ass isnt going to happen, hence all the anons saying no man has ever done that to them and they worry if they are too ugly or whatever. No, you just have no understanding of how men work, or humans in general

No. 341615

This. I showed my bf signs I liked him so we had a few flirty weeks until I asked him out on a date and then we went exclusive immediately from there. It'll be our anniversary soon and idk if it's cause I picked him but he's been the best boyfriend to me. Ladies. Trust your gut.

No. 341624

>You let a guy know you like him, and then he chases you.
You sound like you just figured that yesterday, moid. Making the first move is about making a real move not flirting and “showing them signs” you idiot.
You sound like a male loser blaming women for not being explict enough with you. Most men who act like losers are losers.

why are you derailing the thread to make it about beta males?

No. 341632

Seems like you need a snickers

No. 341634

Calling people “fat bitches covered in makeup” makes you sound really rude and unpleasant. Women aren’t going to want to date a bully. You can simply say you’re not attracted to someone and they’re not your cup of tea. Male or female, being negative makes people generally look unattractive to most people.

No. 341636

kek sure thing honey

No. 341637

True, woman should always choose male, but first said male should make a first move and let her know he's intrested in her.

No. 341639

So you're telling me all I ever had to do was gifting them six bags of flower flour for a week straight and we'd be at our max friendship level?

No. 341641

>Moid talking about wanting 10\10 low maintenance bangmaid

Who asked for your moid opinion?

No. 341643

Because if you look at basic statistics, calling people fat doesn’t make them lose weight or help them. When studies were done on this, and one group was insulted and the other was praised, the praised group lost far more weight and the insulted group gained weight.

No. 341644

Incel having a meltie
probably a fugly landwhale himself lol

No. 341645

Wowzies guys this seems like alot of hatred, yall know kendrick kendrick the goat i love kendrick lamar, and uh j cole and uh redveil fire fire

No. 341647

Better not date one of those “based submissive redpill women” from the tradthots thread then that you all seem to praise because they seem to be everything but…

No. 341648

I think we should praise kendrick lamar he is fire guys(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE)

No. 341650

holy shit what did i even do

No. 341652

Bro i just like kendrick lamar, do you not fw with kendrick? mb.

No. 341653

>A fugly incel won't choose me
Is this supposed to be a bad thing now?
Good luck rotting in youre basement till you hang yourself out of loneliness, faggot

No. 341656

do you even know what the normal level of fat is

No. 341657

>afraid of a faggot in \g\
Go suck a dick already, you're faggines is tiresome.

No. 341659


I’ve been called a fat lonely feminazi pig on the internet millions of times and it’s not going to change my opinions on things. Really don’t know what you guys think you’re contributing to society with ad hominems towards us.

No. 341661

I don’t care about that. I just don’t understand the point of all this. And how you think you’ll change our minds with this

No. 341664

Naw. Not gonna agree with you. There’s tons of right wing pickme girls who will though. So why bother talking to us?

I don’t need a man to “provide” for me. When I marry a man, it’ll be because I love him, not for his money. I’m good on old outdated traditions

No. 341667

The only people I see having “fat ass sitting jobs” are male techbros….I’m a teacher and I chase kids all day and I get in 15k steps a day walking to work. Nice try.

No. 341672

I make minimum wage but ok. Also am a libertarian feminist who’s smart enough to know it’s a free market and that was the value the market decided for your job. Toodles!

No. 341680

If you love a man why not work too to lessen his burden so he doesn't have to work 100 hours per week to "provide" for you. Or is "let a man provide for you" code for become his slave and let him control your entire life? Dumb brutes like you don't deserve a bangmaid. Women have proven again and again that we're more intelligent than you and now that we have more options we will never settle for you again. Enjoy dying alone.(do not reply to males)

No. 341693

don't feed the scrotosapien your attention, report and move on.

No. 341699

Wtf happened to this thread kek
To stop the derail I will ask a question:
What are some things autistic/non-normie women should be aware of that are second nature to normal women?

No. 341707

Remember to smile and be social.

Also if you stuck in place with a group of people try to get along at least with one of those people.
When you are an outsider and don't hang out with them at all, people will think you're rejecting them and might shit on you behind your back.

No. 341714

>When you are an outsider and don't hang out with them at all, people will think you're rejecting them and might shit on you behind your back.
Ty for this advice anon, I often get the feedback that I am very intimidating and standoffish even when I am just trying to do my own thing. I guess I will make more of an effort to at least try to make small talk.

No. 341720

-never touching “taboo” subjects in conversation like feminism, beauty standards, men etc regardless of how long you know that person. not even years not even childhood friends nothing. normies do their best to ignore those topics in their life
i once said men generally avoid doing housework when a friend was telling me about how her boyfriend pushes everything about cleaning the house on her and she looked at me like i said the unspeakable. there is no way to package it and the best is to not say anything.
even if they themselves are complaining about these subjects, they have a very superficial way of going about it and you should just agree with their view and not say more

-never share even a mildy bad opinion about someone even if that third person actually did something shitty even to her also. they make you believe you both are on the same side and they are opening up to you but they will bait you to say even the smallest thing that can be taken out of context and manipulated. they do this backstabing so that the third girl she is gossiping about will target you and she will be “clean” and maybe get closer to the third girl for sharing dirt on you. in general they love to gossip by asking shit and then go around and act like you are the one that gossips, not them asking for it to use behind your back.
or not even opinions on other people, if you ever said anything that is not in line with the group thinking about whatever subject they use that to diminuish your image and keep you outside the group

they love to make you a target so that they avoid being the target. it’s like eat or be eaten but everything happens behind the scenes and you don’t have the chance to speak for yourself

No. 341723

same fag but as a tldr, girls sense immediately if you are different then them and if they aren’t the right kind of people for you but you are stuck with them in a work setting, the most you can do is keep to yourself and limit the damages.
i don’t want to sound so negative but girls do have a bigger potential of pulling social tricks on you rather than men.

No. 341743

Not even joking but that's a real way to get people to like you irl. Give them shit they like. Bribery will get you very far.

No. 341756

You're probably just being lighthearted & cheeky calling it bribery but in this thread I would be careful with that kind of advice lest some socially awkward nona take it literally.
It's called a gift when you're friends, something you give to express fondness or affection or just this tchotchke at the gas station made me think of you lol without expecting anything back. If someone is only interacting with you because you give them gifts, that's not your friend and you haven't bribed them you have played yourself. That kind of thing can get out of balance very fast if you have wrong expectations…

No. 341763

Yes, was indeed being cheeky. Thoughtful gifts enhance a relationship but shouldn't be the focus. It's really about paying attention to the other person and knowing what matters to them.

No. 341765

In many ways, I can't relate to most lolcow users. For example, they're so obsessed with nitpicking other women's appearance even though they always complain that "ugly" men (any man that isn't a 10/10 according to their own standards which they can't even agree on) get shilled everywhere while women are held to ridiculous standards. So their solution to that is… judge women's appearance more brutally? Double down on promoting obsession with looks? Punish women for not being attracted to the "right" kind of men?

And this is something they share with normie women: they're so fucking obsessed with their own looks and aging. If you dare mention that you don't have a "skincare routine" they act like you just confessed to murder. My mother is also obsessed with finding ways to remove her wrinkles and reverse her aging process even though she's nearing 50 and she already looks healthy and young for her age. You can tell she's deeply insecure and dreads the inevitable (becoming an old, wrinkly woman) because her self-worth is tied to her appearance and sexual attractiveness, but you cannot mention ANY of this to any normie woman or she'll treat you like a freak from then on, because of what >>341720 said about never touching taboo subjects. Women are terrified of aging and looking ugly, but I couldn't give less fucks about that (of course I still like looking good to my own standards of style, but I'm not obsessed with looking perfect and young, I don't hate my natural looks despite being average, nor do I cry every time I see an ugly person). I don't know why it's such a crime to tell a farmer "hey, you're insecure as fuck, you need to accept that aging is a natural process, what you call "ugly" in reality is just normal but modern society has warped your perception of reality and detached you from real life to the point you recoil in disgust when you see an average face, and wanting to look young and like a supermodel at all times is not healthy". It might just be moids trolling but the shit where nudes were posted and farmers kept insulting those women's bodies depressed me so much. In real life I've never seen such level of hatred from woman to woman over her body parts, but I know they were just projecting because most women have some level of body dysmorphia. I say I don't care if I have saggy boobs for not wearing a bra all the time and my mother makes fun of me. Seeing her in bed recovering for weeks after her breast augmentation surgery and liposuction, and seeing the horrifying scars on her body left after that (her body does not look normal anymore, it looks botched and like the surgery was painful), might have actually traumatized me. Right now as I'm writing this I realize that both her and my aunt, who got implants at the same time, whenever they try to defend horrible scrote behavior or try to enforce gender conformity and femininity on me, that I don't have to take them seriously because, as their plastic surgery shows, they're just very insecure and inadvertently trying to make me as insecure as them, trying to get me to tie my self-esteem to what they think is the ideal woman (which they'll never achieve). They never took me seriously either so it's just not meant to be. It's a miracle that I didn't troon out, really.

If you don't care about looks (neither men's, women's, or your own), if you don't want to "secure the bag" and instead want to be independent and not date, if you want to wait for a man that's not a porn addict and doesn't believe in retarded gender stereotypes and roles, if you don't want to have children for any reason, or even if you don't engage in typically feminine activities such as religiously applying makeup, wearing impractical but "pretty" clothes that are mostly designed to give scrotes boners, or constantly going shopping for overpriced trendy clothes and shoes, you'll be seen as a freak by other women, even though you realize none of those things are normal, or healthy, or desirable (except having children, arguably).

No. 341766

I haven't read past the first paragraph but anon the off topic boards users who're more likely to complain about men being ugly and snow board users who're more likely to nitpick women's appreances are largely two different userbases. Also LC-users aren't a hivemind you know.

No. 341767

Samefag and to finish with my beauty standard sperging, what's wrong with not having a skincare routine? I eat healthy already, isn't that enough? Why add all this unnecessary and unnatural shit on my skin? Then they tell you that you'll get ugly and old if you don't do it. Ok, and? Why is that an insult or something to be afraid of? Getting old is normal lol. I worry more about my health because I don't want to be in physical pain, and as for aging-related psychological pain, well, there is none if you just don't care about your age. Trying to solve your fear of aging by trying everything to look younger is like trying to solve gender-related mental issues by getting HRT and SRS instead of just not worrying about gender shit in the first place.

No. 341770

I know that /snow/fags are the most likely to nitpick women's appearances that badly, but it's not a stretch to say they're also part of the userbase that spergs about others liking the wrong kind of man (based on looks). Yeah I know a lot of nonnies here are not that obsessive about treating other women like crap and in fact criticize that behavior but they're also hard to relate to (most of them) because at the end of the day they still care about appearance a lot. It's not just the judging other women they do, it's a lot of things that other women may or may not all do y'know?

No. 341777

i relate a lot to the things you said about your mother. my mom is also 50+ and recently went crazy to try to look young skinny fresh and it’s painfull to see the mental gymastics she does not to name the social expectations.

but to tie it back to this thread. most girls don’t worry about this kind of stuff and will avoid it by saying everything they do is a personal preference.

i always wondered why all women are so keen on maintaing the social norm and any deviation is treated so serious like saying you don’t have a skincare routine, or you don’t go to the gym, why does it evoke such distaste as if you failed morally.

i think the biggest diference is that most girls treat social image and conformity as the be all end all. that is their biggest motivator and tool they have in society. they invest their all in being socially and i’m starting to think they are right ngl, almost no one give a shit about what goes in your head, and the more maleable you are the more places you fit into, so yeah they are onto something
ofc you should always be yourself and when you meet people who are also true to themsleves life is so beautiful, but at the same time you have to navigate a lot of social places where you are not welcomed for no seemingly clear reason which keeps you in a state of limbo

No. 341779

Except I didn't say anywhere one has to ask men out, I said it's dumb to wait for someone else to make a move and justify it with biology. I literally said one has to indicate they are being interested. You seem to be bad at expressing yourself. Nonnas were talking about how shy men exist and are afraid to interact despite being chosen and you suddenly came up with "women pick up men, this is biology", even though men constantly express their attraction to girls who are completely not interested in them or are unaware when a woman shows interest in them

No. 341794

Some people have VERY bad skin issues due to genetics. You and I are just lucky, and I'm saying this as someone who also doesn't have a skin routine and eats healthy and has pretty good skin too.

No. 342579

Anyone else find the way female sexuality is discussed by other women completely unrelatable? I’m not even talking about trad/fundie types, but lately I’ve seen it taken for granted that the normative female sexuality is practically asexual. Some things include
- Not being turned on by partner, only being turned on by being desired
- Not being visually attracted to anybody
- Not caring if partner is physically attractive
- Not caring about orgasming in a sexual encounter
- Never or (very rarely feeling) horny spontaneously/from own fantasies, need to be touched or have sex initiated to get in the mood
I don’t have close enough female friends irl to discuss these things so I have no clue if I’m some moid-brained outlier, if these women are actually the outliers and just more prominent online, or if both sides are equally common.

No. 342627

Idk how to compliment other girls. I guess it’s probably not necessary, but sometimes when I see someone who’s strikingly pretty, I wanna remark on it but feel creepy kek. I feel like once I’m middle aged and older it’ll be a bit less weird to do but idk.

No. 342653

no, I find all that relatable but in a bad way. I know it's just due to my issues and socializing and the way I was raised. I would consider you lucky if none of that is relatable and i would want to have you as a friend so you could reality-check me if I was being emotionally retarded about a scrote I didn't even want to fuck.

No. 342657

It's not normal at all anon. Either it's a lie or they're repressed/censoring themselves. And if it's true then they have issues. Also you need to remember the whole "sex positive" thing that's promoted lately is mostly performative and female desire is still very taboo and embarrassing.

>Not being visually attracted by anybody

This one here's a plain lie. Even then, it could be they've been bullied before. That was my case, because of former frenemies from ages ago shaming me, I never mention finding anyone handsome or attractive except on this website because I'm afraid it will be used to mock or humiliate me. Not to mention people are more and more pornbrained and will interpret the most normal comment into something degenerate.

>Not caring if partner is physically attractive

That one comes up sometimes from girls who don't want to appear vain, or who have been made to feel like they're too ugly to have preferences, or feel guilty for wanting someone attractive (Occasionally, from girls who can't find someone they like where they live to a point they either settle for whoever's nice or start questioning their sexualities)

>Not caring about orgasming

Again either repression, guilt, weird saintly sacrifice complex, or they just gave up.

>Never or (very rarely feeling) horny spontaneously/from own fantasies, need to be touched or have sex initiated to get in the mood

Could be more self-censoring, could be they've been exposed to porn early (stunts the development of your own fantasies sort of, and makes you numb to them)

Either way, female sexuality doesn't have to be that bleak. This is just my own impressions based on various interactions I've had both IRL, on the internet and some of my own life experience though, so I might be completely wrong. Gave up on friendship a few years ago already.

No. 342658

Yeah, I feel like most public discussion and media portrayal of women's sexuality is weirdly, idk, dissociative. Especially the being turned on by being desired. Many women also seem to think it's normal for them to do massive sexual favors to scrotes, like have sex even when they're not in the mood or give blow jobs even if they find it uncomfortable, while the scrote is not expected to lift a fucking finger to satisfy his gf/wife if he doesn't feel like it.

No. 342659

ignore the bait, in general people that do this want attention so don’t give them that

No. 342668

>I never mention finding anyone handsome or attractive except on this website because I'm afraid it will be used to mock or humiliate me.
NTA but i strongly relate to this as well, except i don't like mentioning it on lc either (since most guys i like are either too weird looking or summons racespergs)

No. 342669

that’s cause female sexuality is represented in order to serve men by mainstream media
this whole “not caring about looks, orgasms, not expressing sexual fantasies” is shifting the responsability on women to have no preference and placing no blame on how men carry themselves.

men want sex with beautiful women. women son’t want sex with, usually ugly let’s be real, men. yet women and treated as these vain demons. if men were equally as attractive as women, there wouldn't be this gender war. but the first reason why they even like women is the exact same “vain” reason but for women it’s turned into a moral issue while they themselves don’t see past looks

wanting a pretty partner is a common human desire, but it’s only sin when women do it. feminine desires should be minimal and catering to loser men. that’s why sexuality for women is hush hush in the media

No. 342674

Yeah, I feel like normative female sexuality is a foreign concept to me, but it's difficult to tell what's actually normal given all the shame and repression and weirdness around the subject. I've been hearing my whole life that "men are visual, women are emotional. male sexuality is like a light switch and female sexuality is like the control panel of an airplane", shit like that. The thing is, I'm really visual, like a man. My feelings aren't nearly as important as my physical desire for my partner when it comes down to it. I feel incredibly shallow, but that's just how my libido is. I can only admit this anonymously because I don't want to be seen as a shitty person.

No. 342678

>I can only admit this anonymously
And the history repeats itself. If you want to be heard, you need to speak up. I'm the same way and I occasionally point out pretty guys to my friends and complain how few of them exist because men think anything flies. Then women start agreeing lol, and it turns out they, too, are visual.

No. 342690

women are just as visual ad men if not more, women beung emotionally attracted is a cope made up by a socioeconomic society where women have had to date absolute uggos to survive. Duh women arent "visual" when most men look like ass.

No. 342699

Same, can't relate at all because I feel like my sexuality is very scrote-like, or at least that's what they want me to believe. Idk personally the guy doesn't have to be model hot, just like how most women men end up having sex with aren't, but I really need to feel that sexual tension and chemistry to truly like someone. I can relate to the wanting to be desired thing to some extent, it's nice to feel sexy and desirable but the main thing for me is finding the other person attractive. The guys I like aren't always conventionally attractive but I definitely do have a type and criteria that I look for in a partner, I just can't settle for a guy that is good on paper but that I feel nothing for.

No. 342769

File: 1690824213834.jpg (71.51 KB, 620x929, sheldon-cooper-big-bang-theory…)

I was debating whenever i should post this here or in the autism thread but this seems more appropriate.
Ive always struggled with connecting with anyone regardless of sex. I became very aware of the way men/boys view girls in a young age so I never bothered making any meaningful relationship with boys. Connecting with girls growing up is hard because there was some expectation that i should be able to "get" their banter. At least when i said/did something stupid around boys they shrugged it off because im "just a girl". But when i behaved in an awkward manner around girls they wouldnt even try to hide they thought it was funny. Boys brushed me of as that weird girl and would mostly leave me alone but girls would openly mock me. I never cared for getting approval from boys as a child so those rare occasions they called me weird didnt hurt as much as when girls called me weird.

Hanging out with female-solidarity type of women as an adulti dont wanna call them radfem. they are normies and probably identifies as libfems but they have some rad-leaning ideas and could probably become radfem if they where introduced to radfem litt helped me opening up more because they are way more forgiving towards odd behaviour and tries to make everyone in the conversation feel included. However feel like they can be dismissive towards my struggles.
>i tell them i was treated badly by female classmates in school
>"anon they didnt mean that. girls are constantly pitted against each other it was society that did this to you"
>tell them that its true but it still doesnt change the fact i was mistreated and many girls had female bullies
>"its common for girls to be punished for breaking norms. tomboys and lesbian girls often gets bullied"
>tell them its true but my bullying had nothing to do with that and it was because i have aspergers
>the only part they hear is aspergers
so they ignore all i just said and start talking about how much they hate autistic and aspie males and i just dont know how to react. i was talking about my own experience but they actually dont care about how badly autistic females are treated they just want an excuse to umpromptly rant about men.

I cant talk about aspergers with autistic/aspie women either. i think most aspie women wants to focus on the positive things in life and ignore the negative, not that i blame them but it means you cant get a meaningful conversation. I dont umpromplty talk about autism but when we already are on the subject they never go into the shitty parts. its not that i think every conversation should be trauma-dumping but why bring it up in the first place then? its always them saying stuff like
>i hate bright lights so i couldnt go the the mall as a kid
>trying to relate by telling them i experienced something similar but then
>"nvm lets change subject!"
I dont know if there is some female socialisation at play where they dont wanna come of as a burden by talking about their struggles or if they are socially awkward. But i never experience this with male autists. They are more willing to have a conversation about how lonely this disorder can be or the shitty symptoms. Im faaaaar from one of the boys i cant talk to men in any other context but men are the only one who are willing to discuss this shit. The only person who i ever have connected with regarding aspergers is an autistic man. He was sympathetic towards my struggles growing up and we could relate. Not that he was perfect though he could be dismissive towards the misogyny i faced which sucked.

It probably doesnt help that my aspergers is very "male-like". I come off as smug when talking about my interest and often go UM ACTUALLY when correcting people. i used to interrupt people too but i worked on getting rid of that habbit. I ramble alotif this textwall isnt an indication i kinda act like a less extreme version of picrel. So thats contributes to why other autistic women dont want to talk to me

TL:DR i have odd behaviour because im an aspie, bullied by girls growing up because of this. Non-aspie and autistic women denies the bullying, cant hang out with aspie and autistic women either because my behaviour is too odd

No. 342771

Women can be/are just as terrible to other women as men. I'm sorry you were treated so poorly in school. Women with autism/aspergers have it especially rough.

High school bullying has given me trauma responses when it comes to women my age or younger. I can't stand to hear women's laughter if it's from behind me sometimes, refuse to be around teenage girls, and I just always assume that women in my general age range are going to be mean to me. I honest to God have panic attacks in certain cases. I deal with older women much better.

No. 342826

File: 1690895069570.png (289.75 KB, 564x554, image_2023-08-01_230650655.png)

Someone mentioned this in the husbando thread and nonnas made fun of her, but I'm the same way in which I develop crushes on other fujoshis/girl losers so easily. It's really only this specific type of girl, I don't know where it comes from. I draw yaoi porn and I became mutuals with this girl, and I guess I have a sort-of crush on her? I don't really know. I don't even share many similar interests with her, and I've only seen her face once, so this infatuation is heavily dependent on the fact that she's a loser.

This is more based in my own weird personal interpretations of my girl/girl friendships being misconstrued as a different type of relationship and attraction, so I put it here instead of the bi girl thread.

No. 343062

File: 1691060766997.png (127.57 KB, 850x1168, npc women.PNG)

No. 343064

sorry I fucked up the cropping as you can tell it's quite a rambling text post, but I think the core point is accurate.

No. 343066

Women turn quiet because men often take all the space for themselves though? How exactly are you meant to unlearn preferring staying quiet and getting called boring to getting insulted? Is being considered moderately funny (whilst still being considered inferior) worth interacting with men? I don't think male validation is worth all that much.

No. 343070

idk if I have the answer for you, I went to an all girls school. I guess just reminding yourself that everything you do will be annoying and cringe to somebody. I also don't think the text post specified 'while interacting with men' it meant in general.

No. 343074

I think you completely misread the post.

No. 343078

i'm very much an awkward loner. i was pretty good with making friends with others girls in middle school but for some reason, highschool fucked me up. i ended up isolating myself and never having a stable friend group to hang out with. even though i'm really awkward and quiet, i tend to be more spontaneous when i'm in a group. i don't feel left out or anything, but when i'm hanging out with a friend one-on-one, i can feel the awkward silence.

i envy friendships in shows like Euphoria or even Pretty Little Liars because they seem too unattainable. it's the small shit that makes me envious. i want to know what it feels like to hold someone after a shitty breakup, i want to have that close friendship. maybe i'm getting too entangled in shitty teen shows and making a big deal out of it. i'm probably closeted and don't want to admit it.

No. 343095

I don't think you are repressed gay for craving intimacy and wanting a bosom buddy. I feel that insecurity

No. 343348

Thank you for making this post! This is one of the main reasons I feel like a freak compared to other women. Always been incredibly visual, and to top it all off I have a high libido and have been celibate all my life. Women IRL and online have kinda misinterpreted my sexuality. I've been assumed to be
>shallow and doomed to be alone because I find a lot of men visually disgusting
>basically a coomer who masturbates all day (even though I make it clear that I hate porn and the moids who watch it, and how can I find time to do that when I work overtime regularly and have other shit to do)
>some sort of demisexual or something
>only have high libido because I have limited sexual experience and it would go away after I got some (it didn't even go away after I found out about all the gross shit moids do, I don't think it would go away after that fml)
I've brought up the subject with women who are also celibate, and they've told me they aren't very visual/not visual at all and/or have a much lower sex drive.
>I never mention finding anyone handsome or attractive except on this website because I'm afraid it will be used to mock or humiliate me. Not to mention people are more and more pornbrained and will interpret the most normal comment into something degenerate.
I have a thing for goth/alternative guys especially the more "feminine" looking ones Although I'd probably be considered a member of that subculture, I rarely dress the part because of my job, and I'm worried I would be seen as a complete coomer monstrosity if I admitted my attraction.
>I can relate to the wanting to be desired thing to some extent, it's nice to feel sexy and desirable but the main thing for me is finding the other person attractive.
For me a guy I find attractive finding me visually attractive (in a non-gross way) is great, but it isn't a turn-on, it's more of a safety thing in a weird way. Like I hate moids who use "visual attraction" to women as a way to excuse their disgusting behavior, but I would be kinda scared of an adult straight man who isn't visually attracted to an adult woman to some extent. I would instantly assume he's lying, closeted, or into very sick shit instead of him being the rare nonvisual man. I've even been misinterpreted by other women by stating this. They assume I want to fuck coomers even though one of pornrot's main symptoms is finding normal vanilla stuff unappealing.

No. 343417

This is very true, but I also think that the women are NPCs meme comes from the fact that men surround themselves/orbit the prettiest women or the most sexually available, who tend to be basic as fuck with absolutely no hobbies or personal interests.

No. 343433

I think, for me at least, it might actually be a trauma thing. I'm not gonna call the wahmbulance and spill out my life story here but a lot of the really awful things that have happened in my formative years had some sort of female figure at its source. My mom, my stepmom and her shitty kids, my aunt, one of my ex-girlfriends, etc.

Now this is absolutely not me saying "All other women are evil! I'm not like other girls uwu". The logical part of my brain knows this isn't the case, as I've had men hurt me as well, but I think it's starting to draw ties between those incidents and why I'm so abnormally anxious around other women and have such a hard time connecting with them despite being partially attracted to them. It's caused me to read way too deeply into every little thing people say or do around me, which hinders my already awful ability to make and keep friends. I hate it. I want to be able to trust people again and not see other women as a potential threat to my mental health.

Or maybe I'm just retarded. I dunno.

No. 343725

Sometimes I think of stuff like “omg we should have a thread on Lolcow to see if men we know irl are cute” but then I remember that’s what friends are for and I don’t have any

No. 343827

>men we know IRL
that would just attract self-posting moids like flies to shit

No. 343927

I think it also has something to do with the people labelling others as NPCs just don't have any overlapping interests and are kind of blind to that/are too self-centered to care. Like of course you're going to think someone else is bland if she has a dry sense of humor and yours is more slapstick. Of course braindead redditors who only go after hyperfeminine astrologists are going to mentally shut down the second she brings up her hobbies and interests because they've already written them off as frivolous/unserious. The whole phenomenon just comes from people not being able to look past their own nose, the flipside of "everyone else is an NPC" is always "I'm the main character." It's self-imposed isolation - very sad, many such cases, etc

No. 344005

this is stupid but…
I've been trying to socialize online a little bit lately, I'm stuck inside this summer without a lot to do. literally just chat with people, not trying to make a BFF or anything I'm simply bored! but I feel so lost when the discussion turns to online spaces and how men and trannies ruin them. not that that's not true but I have not been involved in anything online in years; I'm sure I used to have complaints about retarded boys raiding chats with dickpics but it has been so long I forgot. I never have anything to share and I just wind up watching the other women chat and wondering if they think I disagree because I'm silent (I don't disagree I just have nothing to contribute!)
Is this an age-divide issue possibly? I'm 32 and was too busy with work for years to hang out online, now that I have free time I obviously am not gonna go on random discord channels full of moids. kinda don't understand why other women are doing that but I can't judge because when I was younger I was not so selective with where I hung out and saw a lot more bullshit until I got tired of it. or is it just a me-issue and the price for being a-social online for so long is that it's hard to be social now that I want to? (lol)
Is there a way to signify I don't disagree but I have nothing to add, or is it better to just say nothing / I'm being paranoid if I think anyone even notices my silence in a chat?

No. 344020

>"waaah i have no friends im such a loser i wanna hang out with someone"
>makes 1 friend
>shes an angel but i just feel so uncomfortable and out of place around her i just loop right back to wanting to be on my own

its all so tiresome

No. 344184

> mention to friend I'm not going to sperg about something because I talk about it too much
> friend says they want to hear my sperg
> actually sperg about something
> no reply for an hour and then they send the tl;dr meme

The obliviousness of normie women and their casual cruelty to autistic women is something else entirely. How are you going to know I sperg a lot, watch me say "I'm not going to sperg about this," encourage me to sperg, then get annoyed I took you seriously? How about you take responsibility for the fact that you told me it was OK to do and just smile and say "cool" and move on? What do you win by putting me down?

I have a theory that most of the most groundbreaking feminist theorists were lesbian/bisexual, autistic, had PTSD/other mental illness, or some other noticeable divergence from the mainstream. I'm autistic and I always thought the concept of femininity and masculinity were bullshit from a young age. The double standards between men and women were so obvious to me. I spent a lot of time struggling against expectations of girls/women because I was naturally androgynous in my style and attitude, and because I have a strong moral fixation, I was very into feminism and highly observant about the discrepancies in treatment of women. The normie girls around me did not care, did not view any of the shit I mentioned as problematic as all, and actively played into femininity because it got them attention. They only became feminists after they got burned on the dating scene. It's maddening because they only began to care once they couldn't play the game anymore. If they had gotten everything they wanted, they would not be feminists. Gay women and autistic women cannot win in this system and so we have no choice but to continue fighting. We're always on the periphery of womanhood, our acceptance is always conditional, and if we misbehave or are no longer convenient to normie hets, we get treated like some third gender freak.

No. 344188

It sounds like she was making a joke, not putting you down. You can't actually expect a normie to take you seriously or care about your sperg. Also if you call it "sperging" (not sure if you literally did, but if you did) that's like telling her it's ok to not take it seriously and implies it's okay to joke about it (which is what she did).

You could be leaving some details out that make my comment wrong, or I could just be wrong 'cause I don't know you or her, but just from what you said that's what it looks like.

No. 344195

She was making a light hearted joke and you can't expect people to reply to a wall of text instantly. Calm down, you're spiraling and sound like a lunatic.

No. 344243

File: 1691803945705.png (277.75 KB, 1024x895, 0c7.png)

>make a couple of internet friends some from here
>conversations are deep and interesting, we get along really well and chat daily
>they suddenly get quiet for no rhyme or reason
>they all randomly deactivate their accounts and leave

don't know if it's my fault and I'm more offensive/autistic than I realize or if everyone on the internet is just that flakey. I wish it didn't bother me so much, but I struggle with making female friends IRL as it is so feeling isolated online only makes me feel worse.

No. 344245

maybe we're the exact same in terms of autism but this has happened with every nona i've chatted with on the friend finder thread.

No. 344249

Sorry if this is the wrong thread for this but I am autistic and sometimes I feel like I have a grasp on what’s appropriate and other times I don’t. Several months ago I got a tattoo and I really liked my artist. We had more in common than I’ve had with anyone in years. I developed a crush on her but tbh I’d be very happy to just be friends. I’m going back to that shop to get a tattoo from another artist in a few weeks. Would it be creepy or okay if while I’m there I said hi to my previous artist and asked if she wanted to hang out one day?? Since it’s part of her job to talk to people and such I worry it’s like thinking a bartender wants to be friends or something so idk if that line should be crossed??

No. 344254

I wouldn’t put her on the spot at work tbh, but you could casually give her your number so she can decide if she wants to contact you.

No. 344335

Although I'm glad to hear it's not just me, I'm sorry you went through the same thing. Guess this means we ought to look elsewhere.

No. 344497

File: 1691993535750.png (111.61 KB, 468x468, 37t61p.png)

>um if you know you know
>it's not what you said, it's how you said it
>that's obviously not what you really meant
>if you don't understand what you did wrong, that's already a problem
>you could have said that more nicely

No. 344506

File: 1691998962038.png (529.82 KB, 653x653, image0.png)

any other women here basically wasted all of their teen years on degen moids online? i find myself their age now when we all found eachother online (i was much younger than the rest), and they've moved on, and i don't have that community they did and i'm struggling, and looking back it was pretty messed up i was that young and seeing what i saw and internalized. before that, when i was little, i both had majority male friends, but the rest of the males had a way of letting me know i'm ugly and weird. and then not fitting in with females bc socially inept/ugly, so it was like i had to "become" like a guy to get by, whether it be irl or online.

i'm just lost, i don't know if im catastrophising but i feel like around women i'm just not good enough to really be allowed to be "let in" on anything if that makes sense. i just feel a need to perform as perfect and it stresses me out. i miss when i was a kid and i was just best friends with the other mentally fucked girl and it was comfy, but everyones moved on w/o me in some way. and also i'm homosexual so it's hard for me to bond over boytalk and i don't have any community for it and yeah. i don't know how to catch up, i'm more comfortable with older people but i feel like they look down on me, or don't want to hangout with someone younger. i'm just really lost on where to start or where to find non-toxic spaces.

and they assume any woman who has similar interests/humour or actually tries to learn about them and communicate where both parties understand is just to suck their dick or be an NLOG, then they stereotype/shun any interest that happens to not be their own. whatever makes them look good.

hate this shit so much. along with when people comment on my expression. i have no clue how my face looks when i'm saying something, i don't have a mirror in my brain. even when i'm not saying something i still dont know what face i'm supposed to make or to get the muscles to go where its supposed to go i just don't get it idk why. i understand why people sperg to me about it but i keep telling them i dont understand how to make like the right facial expressions all the time, but they keep getting mad, if i understand you why can't you understand me.

No. 344545

im sorry this is happening to you. are you always the first to message them? and are you messaging them too often? these might be the reason or it could be them, not you

No. 344562

I feel somehow disappointed through the years. I was often somehow ostracized by peers at school, sometimes bullied although it got better as I got older. I never related to most girls around me. In teenage years I got two close friends around my age at school (a bit older) but they became TIFs and we parted quite badly (I was discarded for not buying into the gender nonsense & sexuality obsession although later I was grateful for that). Most of my closer friends are male and all of them I know online; they're quite unusual types of men, most asexual (but obviously not in a spicy straight/queer way), some penpals with shared interests or similar personality etc. Over the years I got some female friends too, also sharing hobbies or traits but the thing is these are online friendships too and all of them live in other countries. One woman I know from my country lives on the other end of it.
Although I'm happy with these friendships I wish I had someone close irl. I had that for a few years as a teenagers but these friendships with girls who became TIFs became a sort of trauma/unwanted memory. I miss the happy time I had with people in my area and now as I'm on university I can't find anyone for a closer friendship like that. Maybe because it's more mixed group, maybe because we have more responsibilities than during the school years. Now I know one other student and she considers me her friend (vice versa) but what makes me sad is that it's not any sort of close friendships. We mostly talk about our study stuff or daily life but not even in deep about our interests. Maybe I'm afraid to open up, being disappointed in former friends who started to hate on me or mock me, maybe I cling to being alone because that's a thing I knew for the most time, maybe I'm worried she won't be interested in it or won't understand. She has a sweet personality and we helped each other a lot but she is also very different from me in terms of personality, more extroverted, into different "aesthetics" and I feel like she had very different life experiences than me. All my closer friendships are online and I struggle to find a kindred soul near me. Sometimes I wish I had another close female friend to make memories with but I don't know if I really want it or I just want to "remake" the lost years or conform to some popular idea of having a bestie/female friendships being praised and idealised. On the other hand I'm fine like I am, only sometimes wondering if I'm missing anything or is it possible for me to find someone close irl again.
Sometimes I'm also stopping myself from opening up about such doubts here because someone might call me a NLOG (which I have a sort of different approach to because I'm not a native speaker of English - I often liked thinking that "I'm not like other girls" when I was younger but I didn't want to turn it into elitism and I understand such idea can become exaggerated and just bad in some cases - it's just that most girls I met at that time were mean, unapproachable or hiding behind personas).
First time posting in this thread, I figured out it might be the best place to discuss some experiences and thoughts. It's good that it's here.

No. 344596

I do have some contacts with other women around me and one best friend of 15 years with whom we're two sides of the same coin, I got lucky in that one case because we were both marginalized kids in high school and it clicked.
But aside from that, and maybe two or three other people I can talk candidly with, I don't fit any of the typical boxes "normies" categorize others to really feel close to any of the people I keep as acquaintances. And this will be a long fucking post most likely.

I have some hobbies associated with femininity like cooking, crochet, sewing, but I am the biggest tomboy I know (tldr; don't tell your 3 year old child you wanted a kid of the opposite sex when all they want is to be loved by their parents, it'll fuck them up). I was one of the only few girls who played video games in schools I went to in the late 90s-early 2000s, from portable Game boy consoles to the PlayStation 2 and always put in the "weirdo" box. I'm not a feminist nor an MRA, I got bullied in my childhood and adult life by both sexes, unbalanced power dynamics are imo a product of psychological trauma.
I don't feel strongly about politics, minus those of my country of birth, I'm a non partisan. I am a misanthrope with a glimmer of humanist hope that gets snuffed out every time I read the news. But I also realize being a misanthrope that were I in any position of power, I'd be dictatorial and I'd be assassinated in one day.
I have North African Muslim grandparents, but I was raised without any religion by my parents. I moved away from my country of origin for work and also for peace of mind, but that means I'm also not an "original" citizen here. I learned the language but I am still learning about the cultural difference and the way people tick here as it was behind the iron wall still shortly before my birth.
I am a pedestrian in a country where speed is the only thing that matters, so car drivers and bike riders are zooming around like they think they're fucking Sonic and they think taking the public transports means you're poor or a fucking social case.
I'm also personally so hurt from family trauma that I barely have contact with any of my family members except my mother. Expressed emotional sensitivity left me in my teenage years, I'm mostly keeping my emotions behind a stoic mask and a good choice of words. It was that or not surviving in a dog eat dog world.
While I still can recognize attractiveness and beauty, I feel absolutely no desire for physical contact or love, acknowledgment and respect of my boundaries, of my privacy that have been stepped on way too often in the past is very important to me.

With all that being said, I'm very good at pretending to fit in around the acquaintances I've got through my hobbies, I hum and nod as people around me get into rants and ramblings about this and that and the other. I let dumb jokes and sayings slide, I "live and let live".
It just feels really shallow though to have to do that to keep the peace with most people.

No. 344625

I don't think I have autism but I have severe trouble socializing with people after being kidnapped and estranged from people by a moid when I was a child. Women are harder for me because they are more intimidating and I don't care about men and know men only want one thing.

My question is are there social queues I should know about when interacting in a group of women? Also what's the current trendy stuff that normie women like? I know they enjoy Taylor Swift I think. I just want to know the correct stuff to say and how to act to get people to like me and not be judged.

No. 345848

its so hard trying to be a girls girl after a lifetime of getting the most heavy psychic damage by women themselves. its girls support girls until you're autistic and/or have any other clockable weirdness. with men , at least , if you're cute enough they'll keep you around and yes even if male friendships are superifical at best or with the sole purpose of fucking at worst , at least there isnt the emotional terrorism typical of women's relationships. i truly hate to think like this

No. 345853

This may sound stupid, but the Barbie movie and all the discourse/hype around it has made me feel pretty isolated and left out. I didn’t really relate to the movie and definitely don’t feel this connection to womanhood and women from it. I’ve seen so many girls crying over it together, it truly spoke to them deeply as women, and I am left with the feeling “well that wasn’t for me I guess”.

No. 345862

I don’t think I have trouble relating to my peers (mostly) even if all my friends are some sort of neurodivergent/not exactly basic girlies, but I have the hardest time accepting older women in my life? Like, I grew up with my mom and grandma on my dad’s side being extremely toxic and abusive, and it severely damaged my belief in older women. I get the “generational trauma” and all and all, but is there ever any acceptance at any point or am I just bound to keep thinking that all older women are beyond repair and I should just give up all hope on building a connection with them?

No. 345890

I'm all for letting people enjoy what they like but it does feel strange hearing all this crap about "finally women are allowed to be strong as well as FEMININE!!" when femininity girlboss high heels makeup beauty shit was shoved down my throat all my life as the only means to be powerful in this world as a woman. ("But don't forget your beauty! Strong girls can also be pretty! Look at Barbie she has so many jobs and she is the president!") Okay fine I don't give a crap just let be be ugly at peace.

No. 346006

I didn't grow up with Barbie, for some reason I really hated her dolls (I have a memory of 4 year old me going to hide in the bathroom ammeter a woman gifted me one lol), and when the movie was announced I really didn't get the enthusiasm around it, why would adult women be hyped for a movie about a toddler's toy? The hyper feminine aesthetic really turned me off it too, it made me kinda uncomfortable.

No. 346057

I liked the movie and thought it was a funny satire, but I can't relate to women who say they cried during it and whatnot. It's basically a 101 primer on misogyny/third wave feminism and it's going to feature conventionally feminine women (even the fat Barbie and weird one). I only played with Barbies when I was age 3-7 and felt alienated by the aesthetics even as a kid, since trying to be a feminine was uncomfortable my whole life. I recognized the dog in the movie because I had that toy and liked that more than the doll, lmao. I don't expect Hollywood movies to be revolutionary political thinkpieces, but women who act like it's revolutionary or men who find it "woke propaganda" are taking entertainment too seriously. There's a joke about capitalism in the movie, but we know the dolls based on it are sold out. I don't feel particularly impressed that virwers related to the basic "sexism is bad" message because most feminine straight women will only apply that to women like them, every other girl is fair game to continue bashing under the guise of "girl power, you're just a NLOG."

No. 346061

>I recognized the dog in the movie because I had that toy and liked that more than the doll, lmao.
Holy shit same!!! I hated Barbies and any human toys as a kid. I only liked animal toys so I had the barbie dog and the purple barbie dragon. I feel stupid thinking I was going to like a Barbie movie when I never liked Barbie and have no idea what the references to the toys or shows/movies were about lol.

No. 346065

Anyone else feel weird about never experiencing sexual harassment/sexual assault? Almost every woman I’ve talked to has experienced some form of it, and I’ve never even been catcalled. I want to make it very clear that I am thankful for that and am in no way saying I wish I had those experiences, but it does make me feel bad in a guilty sense. Like why was I spared? I feel privileged to have never gone through that, and I almost don’t feel like a “real woman” because of how universal that experience seems to be for women. Was it just luck? Is there something “wrong” with me (super toxic thought, I know). I feel more like my experience has been being invisible rather than objectified. Like I feel like I’ve lived a very different life than most women and I find it hard to relate when other women talk about their lived experiences. Sorry if I’m not explaining this very well.

No. 346079

You definitely should not feel weird about being protected enough to not experience sexual harassment. This reminds me of watamote when she was jealous no one groped her on the train kek

No. 346081

No. 346084

I used to think I'd never experienced sexual harassment. Then I realized I did, in fact, experience it multiple times since I was in middle school. It just didn't register as such, although I always felt like shit afterwards. Can't relate ig.

No. 346091

DA but this was my experience too. I often downplayed my abuse experiences as "just a compliment" or "boys not knowing better", because even my family downplayed the motives of adult men who were creepy to me. If >>346065 isn't bait I'd just be thankful you've never experienced sexual abuse, it's honestly ruined my life.

No. 346092

I guess I should look at it as being protected. My family was very sheltering, which had its downsides but this is an upside.
It’s not bait and I’m sorry I made it come off that way. I don’t mean to offend at all, and I’m not sure where else to talk about it. I’m just wondering if anyone else has the same experience.
Maybe that’s true for me too. Maybe there are some things I just haven’t processed as being sexualized? I’m not sure.

No. 346093

I am very thankful, and I am very sorry that those things have happened to you and so many other women. Honestly when I was a teen, I fell for the mra thing of being very disbelieving of women’s accusations because they didn’t align with my personal experience and I couldn’t wrap my head around most women having experienced sexual mistreatment. I was wrong and feel guilty about that.

No. 346122

I dont get why anons are saying your post is bait, it's the same for me, I never got harassed or anything and when I was a pickme I thought sexual harassment wasn't a real thing because it never happened to me. I also got randomly hit on like 5 times in my entire life, which fueled the NLOG feelings, thankfully now I'm just happy people leave me alone.

No. 346133

I could've written this post. I don't know why I've never been harassed when it seems to be such an universal experience, maybe it's just a combination of many things plus extreme luck because I've met other women who grew up in a similar environment and otherwise resemble me and have been harassed many times. But yeah I can't relate to the experience on a personal level, althouh I think I "get it" in the sense that I did grow up being reminded of the possibility of being harassed.
This just demonstrates further what an alien experience this is.

No. 347576

Is it just me or do gender conforming women just not get what gender nonconforming women are like at all? There's a lot of lip service paid to saying that they respect all "gender presentations", but then if you don't like fashion you're a pickme, if you don't like 'sexy' or 'feminine' clothes you're an nlog, if you're tired with how hard femininity is shilled to women, you hate feminine women. Which makes no sense. I don't really care if they prefer more feminine clothing, but they seem to be insecure about it because they act like androgynous or masculine dressing women are a threat to them. And they have no sympathy for what it's like to be gender non conforming, even though we listen to them talk about how hard it is to take feminine things seriously all the time. My relationships with fem women feels very one-sided at times and like I'm their pet androgynous girl they put up with because they need to virtue signal.

No. 347610

it's because of your area.

No. 347620

I used to feel the same the way until I was cat-called a few times after I turned 25 which was very weird to me because scrotes have drilled into my head that all women after 25 are unattractive and unfuckable. I felt awkward when it happened. I never changed areas it happened in the place I grew up in so I don't think your area matters.

No. 347640

Like the other anon said, it's 100% due to where you live and/or your habits. I'm from a city in a small Nordic country where that never happens unless it's an immigrant or a junkie, and even then they're not catcalling, just pestering you. I'm also a hardcore hikki who barely leaves the house except to buy groceries. Then I moved to NYC for work and jfc… You do NOT want this.

No. 347642

Thank you nonnas for the responses and understanding. Do you ever feel a sense of guilt and imposter syndrome when other women open up and commiserate about sexual mistreatment? I feel like I’m intruding or deceiving or something.
It probably does involve factors like that. Although I’m from LA and am over 25, I come from a pretty strict and overprotective family environment. So there were probably less opportunities for it to happen, and even when there were opportunities (as believe me, I’ve heard many horror stories from women who have been assaulted in even the “safest” situations), then it came down to luck for whether it happened or not.

No. 347643

Has any nonna which historically had difficulties making female friends, or even friends in general, had and kind of success later in life via kindling female friendships? If so, how?

No. 347647

i made friends with 3 girls during the very last year of high school. it was in a club, which meant we had a shared interest. this meant we can have conversations about it. i was very conscious of how i speak and what i say, as well as how i act. they accepted me in their circle, and we met outside of school a few times. that's how it started. we are friends to this day, and consider each other close.
i slipped up a few times, but we've been around each other for so long, that they tolerate my eccentricity. they openly admit to my face that im "weird", "but in a good way". i consider myself good at normiemaxxing, but even little things like dressing in unconventional styles or collecting militaria as a hobby are considered "weird" to normies. i chalk it up to the way women are socialized from a young age to be more judgemental. it's not their fault per se. i guess they see me as the "wacky eccentric alt friend", and not a detestable freak. i keep most of my autism under wraps.
my advice is to not feel too comfortable around girls at first, until youve thoroughly bonded with them. its so easy to scare girls off by being too autistic. however, once you form a bond, you can get slightly more comfortable and test the waters with them. nothing too drastic.

No. 347660

>Do you ever feel a sense of guilt and imposter syndrome when other women open up and commiserate about sexual mistreatment?
Yes totally, I feel like a lot of things in my life are completely divorced for the average female experience, from life aspirations to even dumb shit like periods (my cycle is painless), no wonder I was such an NLOG in school, had I been born just 5 years later I would have definitely called myself non-binary. I remember telling a friend I never got groped in public transportation and she said "wtf it happened to everybody around me, even my bf", it just makes me feel even more alienated.

No. 347690

When I talk to other women irl, I always feel as though I don't talk the same way as them. I don't know how to describe it but something about my mannerisms or tone of voice or the words I choose is just different? Online I can recognize how men and women usually type differently, but irl I feel like a man talking to a woman. Growing up I'd relate to loser guys' experiences about how talking to girls feels like speaking a different language or is nerve-wracking, and it fueled thoughts about being more like a boy, in a tranny way. I'm now at peace with being female but still struggle to talk to women and it's hard to place why exactly.
I could have written this post, I've never really known where or how to express this. I appreciate that you wrote it.
I've heard it said that if you aren't ever hit on, it means you're hideous, which troubled me a lot before. Or at least it's often presented as an all women thing, which brings the implicit message of "you aren't a real woman if this doesn't happen." Which, again, added to tranny thoughts for me. I would often try to make up excuses but I'm now accepting there doesn't have to be some special reason.
>Do you ever feel a sense of guilt and imposter syndrome when other women open up and commiserate about sexual mistreatment? I feel like I’m intruding or deceiving or something.
Yes, somewhat off-topic but I feel this way for more than just being a woman too. I'm also a racial minority and attracted to women, but I've had atypical experiences for my demographic groups. When people talk about "the experiences of x people" it almost always misrepresents me and I feel like I have no in-group.
But either way, if I express that an experience that's supposed to be universal to women (or another group) doesn't match my life, people often act kind of upset or like they're in a rush to gloss over me, like I'm inconveniencing them by not fitting their narrative. So I feel pressured to keep it to myself.

No. 347700

Personally growing up if I was dating a man at the time it would almost feel as if I am in a competition with other women constantly or it would hinder men from comparing men to my female friends. My fears were def true when it was later revealed the girls would start flirting with my SO

No. 347721

Hi nonnie, i can relate a bit to the wasting time on males online part, when i was younger i did similar, wont go into detail but it's just sad and regrettable. it's also sad knowing that there are young girls right now who are going through the same. i was bullied by other girls too and preferred male friends for a while so i can empathize with the not feeling like they let you in part

I think this way too and it sucks because you dont want to be a pick me but you're just fed up with heaps of women

No. 347822

File: 1694170825654.jpg (142.1 KB, 640x700, IMG_6126.JPG)

i don’t have much in common with others but the one thing that disheartens me is feeling like i never learned to enjoy life. everyone i know has no problem doing ‘normie’ stuff, they have brunch together, go to pubs, play board games, do fun shopping, they watch the new popular shows and enjoy discussing them, they read a wide variety of books. i just don’t enjoy that a whole lot. i’m agoraphobic and don’t like going out, nor can i ever make myself enjoy most things i read or watch, i can name maybe like 4 films, 3 video games and 5 books in total that i genuinely like. i don’t get how others can like so so many things at once when i’m not interested in pretty much anything at all.

it’s like i’m some weird rare fish that needs ultra specific conditions in every aspect of its life to thrive or else it’s gonna shrivel up and die.

No. 347826

I definitely relate to that. Or they treat you like some sort of charity case that they need to "fix". I have trouble making friends and I've been hanging out with this girl who seems to tolerate me but makes snide comments left and right. Things like "oh I had a boyish phase too" or "when are you going to get into makeup?" or pointing out clothes that I have no interest in trying on. I hate when people assume you're forcing yourself to not like feminine clothing. I just naturally do not enjoy wearing it and I hate having to defend that. We went shopping together and it was kind of a fucking nightmare actually. She wanted to wear sexy matching outfits for an event (Like a leotard and fishnets kind of outfit) and I tried to clarify I have no judgement towards anyone but I didn't want to wear it for various reasons including sensory issues and I think I offended her.

No. 348104

File: 1694368129174.jpeg (34.85 KB, 735x531, IMG_6280.jpeg)

i’m so tired of feeling less than other women. i’m trying to beat the friendless basement dweller allegations but i feel like the biggest autist alive no matter what. i got so desperate for connection that i went onto bumble to find friends but i just feel intimidated by everyone on there which i know is just a me problem stemming from experiences with bullying and “mean girls” (growing up a lesbian and going to an all girls school is a special flavour of trauma) and having had a twisted fucking friendship group that would backstab and psychologically manipulate eachother all the time over nothing but anyway i’m really tired nonnas i want to feel connection with other women but i’ve always felt like an outsider no matter what. my depression is a lot better than it used to be but i still feel like roping sometimes, i know i should just try to be more proactive about my social life/circumstances but even aside from feeling like an alien talking to most people my fuckass job keeps me from having barely any free time and i’m not into partying/clubbing (sober) i hate being an adult i just wanna have some normie friends to hang out with but i’m trapped in my own mind all the time i’m not built for this existence living in a big city shouldn’t feel so lonely

No. 348126

Nonny, please don't beat yourself up. Friendships are exhausting to introverts. Maybe you just need your special person to have a human connection (and maybe a cat or small pet).

No. 348135

File: 1694380423053.jpg (70.94 KB, 637x628, FsukvmfaUAEOo1f.jpg)

I have an agoraphobic friend and I honestly see agoraphobic people so precious and really fun low-maintenance friends. We talk once or twice a month and whenever she want to sperg in-depth about her newest interest I sit patiently and listen. Sometimes we have a heart to heart moment, I have sent her letters about how she's a good person and trying her best in dealing with her issues, and how proud I am of her. She also listened to my issues as well and gave me logical advice. We never hang out irl. Don't lose hope nona, do your own thing with pride regardless what the majority of normies do. I know it feels bad sometimes, but you truly didn't miss out on anything. You're living your own life by your own means and doing what makes you happy, the grass is truly not greener on the other side.

No. 348175

Replying to an old post, but
>they don't want you there
Has always been hard to accept for me. I feel like I don't belong in society and I'm better off moving somewhere isolated.

No. 348250

I'm also agoraphobic and wow, nona, you're the best. You are literally the perfect person for an agoraphobic…I wish I had a friend like you. Keep doing this nona, you're awesome.

No. 348355

File: 1694540142550.jpeg (44.39 KB, 510x346, IMG_4847.jpeg)

met someone yesterday for coffee in my normiemaxxing journey, it’s been years since i’ve gone out /not/ alone and talked to another person outside of work, it was nerve wracking but felt pretty good and spontaneous and a step in the right direction! but i couldn’t stop shaking in the beginning and rambling incessantly later on i feel like i came off like a retarded child asking so many questions.. are any other nonnas incapable of dealing with awkward silence and feel the need to fill it? never would have even realised it was a problem but now it’s one thing i hate about myself i had an old friend i really cared about tell me once that it was annoying and i’ve been hyperaware of it ever since. sorry i can’t be normal, anyone have any tips?

No. 348388

One thing that makes me feel super disconnected from other women is romantic relationships, I'm a lifelong celibate and a die-hard volcel and aside from here I've never met another woman like me. Most women I meet are either married/in a relationship, hooking up or if they are single they bemoan this fact, and I don't get it, I genuinely don't understand why people absolutely want to be in a relationship.

No. 348425

File: 1694573510950.jpeg (25.46 KB, 244x206, IMG_6741.jpeg)

I’ve got a really masculine sense of humor that really clashes with a lot of girls I talk to. Not anything misogynistic/racist/homophobic but just dumb and sometimes dark shit. Think stuff like fart jokes, mildly off color jokes or family guy humor. I don’t wanna sound pick me-ish but I genuinely think a lot of other girls don’t really like my sense of humor.

I have no idea how to socialize with girls irl because I feel like their sense of humor is so far gone from mine, and humor is how I make 99% of my friends. As much as I would love to relate to other women irl and online I just find that I don’t laugh at the same things they laugh at.

I posted a stupid, dumb meme in a meme chat, picrel, and I could literally feel all the judgement on me. I genuinely thought it was funny and wanted to share, and I could feel everyone judging and hating me, until I was asked to delete the meme because it offended them.

Am I retarded? Did I socially blunder? I thought it was pretty light hearted and funny but it quickly just got me snapped at and I feel like I can’t face going back after that

No. 348426

this is less masculine humor and more boomer humor nonna. Do you like minion memes? Are you 65+?

No. 348428

I mean I think the joke concept is funny but your mistake is showing a politically charged meme in a large group and expecting it not to be polarizing. It's less to do with the humor and more to do with the politics associated with the image. I feel like this should be obvious to you? In the kindest way possible, are you autistic or something?

No. 348432

File: 1694576545192.png (288.41 KB, 540x642, image.png)

I sympathize anon. I hung out with a group of scrotes for a time and they irrevocably changed my humor, and humor is also how I bond with people. I think being asked to delete the meme is way too sensitive of them though, even for normie liberals, but at the same time I think you should try to develop a 'secondary' humor if possible to avoid this in the future. For an example, I have a sense of humor around my normie friends that is more agreeable and lighthearted, and a way more fucked up dark sense of humor around my online friends who like that kind of thing. I don't think you're retarded, it's just that the girls you shared the meme with probably have no idea about those memes and are used to like, cute animal pics.

No. 348434

wonderful moment in culture

No. 348436

i just want a group of girlfriends but women always run away from me like I’m repulsive or something. I wish I was a stupid pick me so I could go befriend scrotes but my moid hatred runs deep, I have always disliked them. I’m probably autistic I’m also ugly no girl wants me around for that because I would ruin the group image. I hate myself, why am I like this? I just want to experience the sisterhood, the female solidarity. Trying to connect with other women feels like being a puppy that’s being kicked over and over only to return back to its master.

No. 348437


Yes very much actually. Level 2 so I can’t even pretend to be the high functioning type

No. 348440

Starting to accept there is no female community and I just can't have friends because the constant retardation and stupidity surrounding the incessant need to attach to males and prostrate themselves even in mentality alone makes me far too angry far too easily I can't form any attachment to another woman that isn't already at least tinged with disdain.

No. 348444

is that supposed to be Biden

No. 348498

I'm not American, can someone explain the Biden meme please?

No. 348502

Biden stupid, fuck the president. That is the idea behind the meme. Furthermore he likely has dementia, tends to ramble, sniffs children, and is a really poor president because nobody really respects him. The joke is that he is too stupid to solve a two piece puzzle and lashes out (he has been known to lash out at people for mild criticism).

No. 348513

File: 1694623862281.jpg (66.32 KB, 1125x794, jpg.jpg)

After being bullied for most of my childhood and adult life for being autistic I've retreated into my own space and avoid people whenever possible. I thought for a long time there was something fundamentally wrong with me because the normies in my life would never let me forget it. I'm like an alien amongst people. I used to try going outside and being friendly but just got humiliated time after time. So after a long time of trying to pass as normal I've fully accepted my quirks. I don't take any special care in my appearance with clothes makeup or hair, I don't drink or do drugs, no social medias, I don't care to gossip or talk shit about other people, which apparently is an important part of female bonding, as well as being obsessed with guys. I have zero desire to have a boyfriend or entertain guys and dislike talking to straight girls because they almost always put the moid above anything else. Though I'm probably biased because I'm a lesbian. I just want a girl friend like me to hang out with.

No. 348515

Lesbians don't bemoan women who don't fuck them challenge? Please?
You're acting like an incel.

No. 348516

Not everything is about sex, scrote.

No. 348517

ntayrt but literally where did op bemoan the fact that women don’t fuck her?? what are you talking about? acting butthurt for no reason, it’s just difficult to relate to straight women talking about men and centering them all the time! you’re probably osa but out yourself in our shoes don’t even pretend to act like it wouldn’t get frustrating. anon if you see this id be your friend as a fellow autistic lesbian moid hater lol, this is why we need lesbian communities bc no one gets what it’s like to not give a shit about moids especially when they pervade literally every aspect of our existence.

No. 348532

The OP never said or implied anything like that, but some of you are waiting for the occassion to say mean things about lesbians. It's like it gives you a dopamine hit.

No. 348538

>I don't care to gossip or talk shit about other people, which apparently is an important part of female bonding
People are mean to you because you an insufferable nlog

No. 348551

>Lesbians don't bemoan women who don't fuck them challenge?
Lolcow users not have the reading comprehension of a kindergartner challenge!1!1!1!!
Like no offense but some of you bitches are so dumb i swear. Where did OP say anything like that kek. She made like one sentence about being lonely because shes a lesbian, which is a normal experience. Please take a deep relaxing breath and think before you rage on the internet. You sound like a retard

No. 348552

Calling me an insufferable nlog in the not relating to other girls thread, very brave of you. I understand female bullying and I try and avoid people who want to play this social climbing game and tear others down so they can feel better

Thank you anon, I agree I would like a lesbian space without always worrying about men. It sucks to be called creepy or incel by other posters, it's not even about having sex it's just bonding with women.

No. 348568

>literally where
>I don't care to gossip or talk shit about other people, which apparently is an important part of female bonding, as well as being obsessed with guys.

This misogynistic nlog take is very prevalent with lesbians who resent femininity, especially when we're not available for sex. Did you know the word incel was first coined by a lesbian for lesbians? It's not that wild.

No. 348569

File: 1694642610433.jpg (189.53 KB, 1143x1600, Thinker-Auguste-Rodin-Museum-P…)

Is it bullying… if you deserve it?

No. 348570

I'm afraid of making new friendships with women outside of the ones I have because the rejection gets to me more than anything else. It hurts more because women are more valuable to me than men and if I'm not good enough even for friendship it cuts deep.

No. 348572

are you on the younger side of millenials or a gen z? i think more women grow out of gossiping the older they get in favor of just talking to each other about their lives and interests. granted, some stay stuck in the high school mindset

have hope, theres more women you can meet that will be more reasonable. maybe for public personas, try less "friendly" and more "you/toned down/chill/down to earth/no-nonsense" vibes and see if that changes how people approach you? friendly people can attract people who'll scope them out for any weaknesses to take advantage of

No. 348580

It's definitely a balance, you don't want to sit there in silence for painstakingly long, nor fill in silent gaps because you'll come off desperate in a way. It's best that you go with the flow of the conversation and how comfortable both of you are. I have noticed that periods of silence means that the other person is comfortable enough not to perform continuously, and just relaxes. If you're relaxed, assertive but also show that you're open to actively listen, pauses in conversations flow naturally. You can even tell the other person that sometimes you like sitting in silence because you enjoy the moment and atmosphere, and want to take it in more. Hell, even this topic right here is a great conversation prompt. Different people have different energies when conversing, you should find your own "sweet spot" and roll with it, because it comes naturally to you. I don't know how close you were with your friend, but they don't seem to understand this part of you very well. It's actually sad, people expect to always have a conversation going on and on and on, when in reality hanging out with someone can occur in so many different ways. Don't take to heart what she said and try to change, it's only giving you anxiety because it's not natural for you. Having a conversation is like dancing with someone, you make a step; they make a step. Find your own balance and if you feel like you wish to talk more, do it but don't let anxiety and fear of judgement be your drive, do it because you wish to get better at it.

No. 348586

>Did you know the word incel was first coined by a lesbian for lesbians? It's not that wild.
This is so misleading, acting like she was an entitled sexual creep rather than a lonely lesbian, which is common because finding other women interested in dating women in the first place is hard because lesbians are a sexual minority and most bisexual women end up with men.

No. 348587

I'm in a relationship but recently I've fallen in love with a character from a game and I'm realizing I would be better alone. I love my boyfriend and he's an incredible person but I'm starting to think I don't need a real person and I can be happy indulging in my fantasies. I use AI and AI voice to indulge but I have to keep it a secret. My boyfriend wants me to move with him soon but I'm starting to worry about the idea of being around him all the time. I don't want to stop loving him but I don't see so much value. My fictional husbando can provide everything and more. What do I do?

No. 348589

How long have you been together? Maybe you're just tired of him after all these years, having anxiety over moving in together is not a good sign. As a husbandofag I would dump him tbh.

No. 348590

I hate how much of early 20s female friendships revolve around men, boyfriends and hookups. Let’s go to a bar and make men but us drinks. Let’s go party maybe hot guys will hit on us. Look at this guy I’m talking to on hinge. Here is the story about the guy I had a one night sleep with last weekend. Let me tell you about the cute guy from my physics lecture. ENOUGH. Goddammit. I don’t caaaaare. I don’t wanna talk about moidsssssss.

No. 348591

It's a LDR and I've been with him for around 2 years. He's a bit boring but comfy. I really love his voice, personality and actions but at the same time I feel like I've settled. I'm meeting him again in a week but I feel like this will be the way I see if I really want to be with him. I've never been truly alone and I almost wish I could be. I've been indulging in my husbando without telling him but it feels almost like cheating. I'm scared that I will never find someone I truly want to be with when the fictional man makes me feel so much happier.

No. 348596

Same, this is why I can't make friends. I feel this will be even worse as we get older– soon it won't be about bfs and hookups, but about marriage and children, which is even more unrelatable and exhausting. I guess though, once you pass childbearing age, you can start to see who around you didn't have children and make friends that way. But my god, that's a long time away.

No. 348608

One of the only women my age in a tiny village, not bothered enough for it to be the only reason I move since I have a nice life here but it sucks every day. There are some women who do horseriding and wear wellies to the pub but I'm just not ready to commit to being a horse girl for friendship

No. 348641

I kinda agree with the anon who was sperging about "girlcore" shit in the unpopular opinion thread.

No. 348643

Can we switch, I wanna be a horsegirl

No. 348649

Expecting OSA women to sympathize with homosexual women is impossible. We get tired of you constantly only talking about men and thinking you're so special and disconnected from other women just because you're slightly weird when liking men is the thread that connects all of you, btw.

No. 348653

This is insane, this is like saying you can't be disconnected from other women because you both speak English or both want to have children someday. That's about as broad of a similarity as you can find and says nothing about a person's outlook, personality or philosophy.

No. 348665

I have literally never met a non-boring lesbian

No. 348677

Ma'am I believe you are lost. Let me escort you back to your containment thread >>321065

No. 348683

Same. It's always a safe PG13 version of the most bland moid personality, but whatever.

No. 348686

I definitely don't think that OSA women can't be disconnected from other women but I do think that growing up as a lesbian adds an extra layer to the disconnection if you're already a weirdo autist type. I remember feeling like an entirely different species compared to everyone growing up - I probably would've felt that way even if I were straight just because of my personality, but becoming aware that I was lacking even the simplest fundamental experience of liking guys amplified things even more.

No. 348762

If you're surrounded by low IQ women who only talk about the billion babies they want and the boys they chase, you're going to get that experience. I understand the frustration of not having a higher ratio of similar or higher IQ women in close proximity to you.

No. 348797

i did once, she came out as bi a few months later

No. 348800

NTA but I agree, and I've had the same experience. Growing up, I felt very disconnected from others because I was raised on the internet, and then I felt disconnected from being a girl because I couldn't relate to boytalk/boy problems and being gender conforming. I was one of the only GNC girls in my grade and it was always an alienating experience, and being a lesbian was just the icing on the cake.
Some of my closest friends are OSA separatist/celibate women, so I don't think it's that they're OSA as much as it is het-partnered women or seeking women who are really boy crazy or whatever. I found that a lot of my straight friends were so funny and vibrant only to have the absolute soul sucked out of them the moment they got in a relationship, and everything became about their scrote and the inevitable problems they had, so I've mostly given up on getting close to these kinds of women. Older OSA women who simply don't date or don't care for men, however, have been some of the most amazing people I've talked to personally.

No. 348826

>OSA women
Obstructive sleep apnea women??

No. 349173

Did anybody grow up with a misogynistic mother who WASN’T some form of trad/fundie? I think part of my isolation is not being able to find many experiences like my own. Plenty of discussion about misogynistic mothers but usually as part of a conservative religious sect/cultural context.
My mother is NLOG. Never had female friends. Throws around bitch/whore/cunt towards women and girls like a redpill man. Unironically has ranted about ‘feminazis’ and supported Depp back when that was going on. Used to make snotty misogynistic comments about women in public or point out little girls that were going to “grow up to be whores”. Shit like that. It’s not 24/7, but this is the highlights.
She isn’t religious and she’s a never-married single mom who has always had to work, and actually despises housewives. So it isn’t based on any kind of traditional or ideological basis. It sounds like a manosphere scrote explanation but my only theory is that it’s general cluster B shit (esp since she isn’t consistent with this and hasn’t actually gotten into the manosphere) + envy towards more conventionally attractive women.
I’m also attracted to women so that’s added a weird layer, hard to reckon with that when you didn’t even have a model of platonic relationships with other women let alone more. Sorry this turned into a blog, just really want to hear from someone with similar experience.

No. 349174

opposite/other sex attracted women. heterosexuals/bisexuals

No. 349683

File: 1695388984452.jpg (9.01 KB, 287x175, tumblr_029fe105b1f44ce211def79…)

Maybe a really weird one, but how do you forgive yourself when you were a difficult person in your late teens and early adult years? I am nearing thirty now and I feel so much healthier, happier, and I have learned so much about myself and others including the fact that I had undiagnosed autism, but every now and then I remember the online friends I hurt and didn't understand healthy boundaries with when I was around 16-19 and I wondered if anyone else related.

I'm mostly accepting of these things but I wondered how common it was for you guys to have also experienced this. Are fallouts online more common than I grew up thinking? I did not have many close female friendships until university outside of a couple childhood friends so I never knew if this was a common thing or if I was just a massive dickhead. Maybe both.

No. 349687

I know it's corny but the only road is the one ahead, don't beat yourself up for not being the most amazing person when your brain hadn't even developed nonnie. If you realize you've changed and what you did wrong that's how you know you're doing better.

No. 349696

File: 1695395997200.jpg (4.99 KB, 140x140, 0010802083_50.jpg)

Corny but exactly what my heart and brain needed to hear, thank you, fellow nonnie. Definitely have spent a good seven or eight years self-reflecting, and both my online and offline relationships feel much healthier and genuine but my thoughts and prayers to the online friends who were also Going Through It who I know I upset a lot back in those times.

I guess we are all on a little journey. Late twenties have been so heavily about self-discovery, forgiveness and discovering genuine love and friendship and I couldn't be more thankful.

No. 349817

This and I say this as someone who is lesbian. I'm the only lesbian in the world who isn't totally boring. Every lesbian I've ever met is obsessed with gender and other frivolous self-absorbed shit, they never seem to have any substance or cool interests. You can't even talk about sexy women with them because they will get offended.

No. 349821

I didn't know that NLOLs existed kek

No. 349823

Yes but I am the only one that exists. I am way better than all lesbians. I don't call myself lesbian because that's how much I don't want to be associated with them I just say I'm not attracted to guys. I've never met a single valuable lesbian.

No. 349831

Kek where do you hang out? My wife and my other lesbian friends talk about sexy women all the time. Maybe this is a location based issue, sweet NLOL nonna

No. 349851

As a straight woman i really struggle to connect with other women because so many of them are boycrazy and just want ti talk about dating all the time. I literally moved to a different country and it’s the same it’s insane. Everyone always wants to talk about dating apps, their boyfriends/ husbands, going out to check out some guys. So many women I know are serial daters, they bang guys on first date and then complain when they don’t commit. They tell me they get bored when they don’t “at least texting with a guy”, that they need a crush at all times. Like, what? Even older women won’t shut the fuck up about their husbands. Do men also talk about women all the time or is this a female socialization thing? I feel like every woman I know is chasing male validation and they try so hard to make me feel like the odd one out. I hate it here.

No. 349884

>She isn’t religious and she’s a never-married single mom who has always had to work, and actually despises housewives.
Hi nonnie! Our experiences seem pretty similar down to the same sex attraction except my mother does not have any friends at all kek, it is strange because all other women that endured the specific type of abuse that I did seem to come from religious or "complete" households. Heavy yes on the cluster b shit too. Maybe I’ll get a bit of free time later in the day to write some more but I still encourage you to reply if you’d like.

No. 349949

Go to therapy for internalized lesbophobia. Is your only exposure talking to polilez prudes online or your local GSA or what? I nor the lesbians I'm friends with aren't like that. We thirst over women and dunk on troon shit constantly, we're just not out in the openly waving flags like larpers.

No. 349964

I feel this. I'm deeply embarrassed by it and feel undeserving of healthy relationships now that I actually am happy and health. There's so much guilt and shame surrounding who I used to be.

No. 349989

I'm not just talking about gossiping over how sexy women are, all lesbians are fucking boring and frivolous. You are all a waste of resources. There is no substance to you. You are all literal NPCs. There is no real character to your voice, your mannerisms, your tastes, etc. you are all trash. That other nona got it right, you are like very bland beta males. I don't have internalized lesbophobia because I know I am not like this. I have externalized lesbophobia. Now stop replying to me before you give me cancer.(bait)

No. 349998

This is probably bait but it sounds like you just hate women lol.

No. 349999

>all lesbians are boring NPCs and suck blah blah blah
You sound like you’ve never talked to any real outdoor non internet addict lesbians in your life. Also your NPD is showing kek. Enjoy being alone on your throne of most speshul interesting main character lesbian alive.

No. 350001

I'm alone and I am happy knowing I'm the best

No. 350002

Perhaps they’re being boring on purpose to get this narc away from them

No. 350004

I had several bi/lesbian female friends who I didn't know weren't straight until they showed me their crushes or types, kek.

No. 350330

I feel like I can't even begin to relate to women. It makes it really hard to establish any kind of connection at all. I'm just really hoping there's another woman just like me out there. If's a mix of autism and me being very masculine. I just can't find a single other woman my age who likes playing similar video games to me, tech, coding, etc. I feel like they live in an entirely different world from me. Maybe I'd have better luck if I didn't live in a really small town with lots of people leaving due to the crappy economy. I might have better luck once I can move out. I just hope I can one day meet that fellow woman who'd understand me.

No. 350344

Playing video games is as much of a hobby as watching the news is, as in its not a hobby. I'll never understand anons who want to befriend people based on some niche hobby while irl friendships don't work like that at all.

No. 350358

Why can't video games be a hobby? Watching the news is completely passive, turning on the TV and watching the default channel everyone else watches isn't a hobby, I'll agree with you on that. But how are these two things the same?

No. 350407

I'm the same way, masculine with a bit of the tism and into those same hobbies. I actually find it baffling how hard it is to come across women who play games that aren't either stereotypically feminine like Animal Crossing and dress up games, or extremely mainstream like Elden Ring (I'm an indie player so those games don't appeal to me.) I'm also a gamedev and it's hard to meet other women who code for that purpose, it's quite lonesome.

No. 350422

Probably very nitpicky but I'm always put off by nail polish bring seen as some kind of basic self-care and you never see women without perfectly manicured hands, like the threadpic for the sewing thread.

No. 350423

I'm in the same boat as you two. My main interests and hobbies are computers, video games, anime and related weeb stuff, and I'm very autistic about them but not in the same ways women usually are (I'm a logical and statistical kind of autist). I'm fine talking to guys and have done all my life but it stings I've never really made a female friend who gets me and shares my interests in the same way. For example I want to share and compare stable diffusion models for cute anime boys with another woman who understands god damnit

No. 350438

File: 1695929406265.png (7.31 MB, 4292x2414, HiroshiNagai_04.png)

My entire life I've had nerdy interests and experiences that I don't often share with the women I meet (video games, coding, computers, came of age on 4chan etc., never wear makeup or feminine garb, don't date dude, etc.). However, on the whole I have not had much difficulty relating to other women. I relate to them in other ways and don't expect or need them to share my nerdy interests. Honestly, I don't think shared hobbies and interests are the most important part of relating to other people. They can help, but when it comes down to it things like kindness, curiosity, and a desire to make the effort to be a good friend are more important. (that said, if you really need shared interests to think of something to say: a lot of women across the spectrum of presentation and occupation enjoy reading books, and a lot of women appreciate plants. And crafty creative hobbies)

When you meet someone different from you, it is easy to connect if you take an interest in who they are and how they are different from you. Get curious about other people! Ask questions! Everyone you meet is an opportunity to learn something new about the world and other people in general. And the more you probe, the more likely you will find something you actually do have in common.

Thus, my actionable advice for people in this thread would be to get in the habit of asking questions about other people. Ask about where they are from, ask about their family (women usually love to talk abt their kids if they have them), ask about hobbies, how they spent the weekend etc. And then ask follow-up questions. People love it, and your nerdy brain will have information to chew on. And if the other person just yammers on about themselves and never bothers trying to get to know you in return, then you know right then and there that they probably aren't worth connecting with. A kind, curious person open to connection across superficial differences will be interested to hear about your experiences and niche hobbies if you show open-minded interest in something they share with you. I think this gets easier as the people you interact with get older and more mature, as well. Working on your own confidence and sense of self helps a lot too; luckily this is auto-catalytic b/c your confidence will increase the more you successfully connect with people.

Just my 2 cents, good luck!

No. 350442

I grew up on video games myself with the NES, and I grew up tomboyish to try to fill the "no sons" gap in the family. And kinda weaboo confession but playing FF7 as a kid made me want to become a computer designer for video games (or in kid-me terms "video games creator"). Still do, and will, once I have the time to sit myself down and get to it.
But I can change between playing FF7 on my Switch lite farming levels to kill the goddamn Midgar Zolom out of spite from way back in the 90s for the Zolom (and get his "Beta" enemy skill) and Animal Crossing to gather all the goddamn things for the museum cuz I can't stand unfinished business.

I also am the crafty type, finishing projects is very cathartic to me. I like doing different projects from normal drawing/digital drawing to sewing, working with Fimo clay -if I could justify it financially, I'd get into making resin dice- , knitting and crocheting. But the group of friends around the two last hobbies I can't always relate to sometimes because the discussions remind me of dinners at my grandma's where all the aunts/female cousins would talk about how X gained/lost weight and Y divorced/married Z and A and B had finally gotten a son/daughter, which made me flee to the television room to watch whatever else but that shit show.

I guess the one thing I'm thankful for is that I luckily have one best friend since high school (and that I kept despite weeaboo emo me introducing her to Elfenlied just only having had one PE class in common cuz one of the characters shares her name. Imagine the cringe) and she is more feminine than me but not that different from me in terms of being outsiders and not well liked in high school. We're like two sides of the same coin, and it's the longest lasting connection I've had.

No. 350443

File: 1695935682810.jpeg (17.22 KB, 750x733, 1616454321643.jpeg)

Making friends with women my age is near impossible for me. I know it's pseudoscience bs but I'm actually starting to think I have a fucking male personality or something. (Both Jung and Freud would have a field day with me). I only have male friends(and I actually like them) and they have all expressed at some point that my personality and the way I act is different from other women the've known. All the women currently in my life I would only call acquaintances because I have no problem holding polite everyday conversations with them, but even if we share the same interests and have a lot in common I have almost never felt any connection beyond that. However, I have been genuinely in love with several women in the past and was in a serious relationship with a woman for well over a year. I am currently in a relationship with a guy though. Besides that I used to be a tif from age 12-15 but I've loved being a woman ever since and no longer sip that koolaid. I also have mild aspergers which probably has a lot to do with everything. Sometimes I even catch myself feeling some distain for women my age simply because of how alienated I've always felt around them. Am I doomed?

No. 350444

Same anon but I felt I should also mention that I have been active here for years now and have been accused of being a maleposter many times for my takes and such.

No. 350447

how old are you now?

No. 350449

No. 350456

Omg you’re so not doomed

No. 350473

File: 1695950138474.jpeg (51.71 KB, 554x554, IMG_1836.jpeg)

This might not land for you or anyone and I know a lot of people have sensory issues and it’s also expensive BUT I have had a lot of success with getting elaborate Asian gel manicures. They look cool enough that girls usually comment which is a conversation starter and they last really long which gives the impression that you put a lot of effort into appearance even if you’re lazy as hell.

No. 350475

This is excellent advice and I hope anons will take it to heart. Even if you don't "mesh" you can always find something in common with others, always learn from them, always gain a new experience.

No. 350476

File: 1695954841941.jpg (146.24 KB, 1200x800, S3e9_Fionna_playing_with_Cake.…)

Hey nonnies, so I think this thread will be good for me to open up.

I'm basically wanting to become a transman or at least an identity not in relation to womanhood. There is a part of me that feels I should just be a tomboy but I hate it. I hate being labeled that sometimes and I hated being labeled that growing up. Being a tomboy was being like a "wrong" girl, like I didn't fit in. I still had female friends and many of them lasted until high school, I didn't have many IRL male friends but growing up into gaming and anime, yeah, all of my friends were male. They still are. I have primarily male friends, I love them, I think they're great. Many of them are gay and some of them want to be trans women, much of this stuff doesn't bother me. However, after trying to figure myself out, I'm not entirely sure what to do. I was so sure I wanted to transition, that I wanted to take testosterone and start working out. I did this by first getting baggier clothes (much more comfortable) and getting shorter hair (easier to manage). Getting testosterone however is a fucking bitch, I have to invest in bitcoin in order for me to obtain it. I don't want to do that. Plus, I still live with my parents (19) and I'm 7 months deep into saving. I cannot let them know, they might treat me differently. I am bisexual, but I haven't told my parents this either. Hell, few of my IRL friends even know I considered being trans. I LARP online as a gay man, it feels okay, but I'm not sure what to do. I hate going outside. I hate shaving. I hate periods and I hate being referred to as a woman. What do I do anons? I know many of you will call me a TIF or a Pooner but I'm genuinely asking for some advice, nuanced as it can be.

No. 350477

Don't do it. Please just learn to love and accept yourself as you are. You don't have to shave or wear certain clothing. And you can still work out and get as fit as you want. Being a woman isn't bad, it's actually really great. Plus, that's not the only thing you are, not even close. There's also a thread for detransioners here and maybe they could give you good advice >>230474

No. 350478

File: 1695955613858.jpeg (59.62 KB, 640x640, F15F8DA2-2FA6-4817-8BA6-3E540B…)

>saving for testosterone via bitcoin investing
>most friends are TIMs
>bisexual but LARPs online as a gay man, “it feels okay”

No. 350479

regarding the first part of your post, it's not like transitioning will make it easier to fit in, quite the opposite. also testosterone will cause terrible side effects and can actually make periods worse.

No. 350483

But why? I feel like I have to shave because my step-mom nags at me for it. I don't think being a woman is bad, quite the opposite. I loved being a girl or was 100% comfortable with that, but I am admittedly losing grip. I do feel like I might have gender dysphoria. There are more accepting people nowadays and they are much more diverse, including women, so I'll think about it.

I don't want people to assume I hate women, I am a pickme or I am self-hating in some way (although in my post it basically is me saying lots of that). I do not hate women or being female, I do not. I am just not sure if that is what I want to do. I'll check out the detrans thread, but I don't think my mind will be changed.

You literally have to invest in bitcoin if you want testosterone, many transmasc guides offer this as an alternative because it is a somewhat regulated substance.

I am bisexual, I still like women, but my attraction towards men has increased ever since I thought about becoming trans.

Not bait, sorry.

I actually might do some research on this, I know there are birth controls out there that straight up stop your period. I don't know really what testosterone is capable of doing, but if this is true thank you for letting me know. I mainly started lurking/posting to talk shit and get milk.

No. 350484

Women can dress boyishly.
Women can have vidya and animu interests.
Women can be bald or have short hair.
Women don't need to shave.
You don't need to label yourself. When you label yourself, you're stuffing yourself into a labelled box that you have to fit in. With that you have to change your self image into what others deem acceptable. Tomboy/"male hobbies" = trans if that is correct then why are some of your male friends looking into being trans women instead of being a male.
You're a nineteen years old girl that's insecure with your body image and self worth as all women have struggled with, every women hate their periods and testosterone does not removes it as it brings on more problem then it's worth and is irreversible.
Please read these threads. >>>/g/203417 and >>>/g/230474

No. 350485

Definitely do it, and cut out the middle man by posting all your milky bad decisions directly to the tif thread

No. 350488

The reality is that you are a woman and no amount of test or surgery will change that. It will only make you a woman with male-pattern baldness, frog voice, and irreversible health issues. Just accept who you are and don’t fall for delusions and self-harm.

No. 350492

File: 1695960493412.gif (766.83 KB, 245x248, cant win with ret.gif)

Looked over both threads, definitely prefer the second rather than the first, but it did kind of reaffirm some things for me.

I've always wanted to be more GNC and I do feel kind of more comfortable that way, I do like the name I picked out a lot, and I do like my body hair. However, I realized many people on lolcow are not too friendly of masculine women or butch women, as I've seen on both threads.

Thank you for showing me these, you haven't really convinced me but more or so affirmed me. Even if you disagree and still hate me and my existence, I hope my post makes you consider other nuances.


No. 350494

Ok, what do you think you’ll get out of transitioning physically?

No. 350496

I'm curious about what your goal with transition actually is. Is there an example of a woman who transitioned that makes you go "yes, that's what I want for myself"? What do you think test will do that makes you want to take it?

No. 350497

Do zoomers just not have hopes and dreams? You're dropping the equivalent of a down payment on a house for some body mods. You know you'll still have like 50 years left to live after that right? Like goddamn, imagine yourself in 30 years working at an IHOP and remembering you spent $20k to do what a buzz cut and a pronoun pin would've accomplished. Can't even put that shit on a resume.

P.S. if your mom nags at you about shaving she's going to nag about every fucking thing related to your transition. (And then of course you'll be roided up so you'll be even more mad about it)

No. 350500

If you think people treat masculine women unkindly, you'd be flabbergasted when you see how people treat trans men, kek. They'll either get pity or disgust

No. 350502

>I larp online as a gay man
Stop consuming gay male media like yaoi

No. 350520

This sort of brings up an interesting question. If transitioning meant you would 100% pass indistinguishable from a man (ie societal privilege and acceptance), would you? Or, if there was a button that turned you into a True and Honest male, would you press it? I have often pondered this. It’s largely moot because transition as it is now accomplishes neither of those things.

No. 350523

If I could become a nice, non-coomer, chill male I would press it tbh. If the button turned me into a basement dweller moid I wouldn’t do it.

No. 350526

I would not, I like being a woman and am happy that I am one.

No. 350528

I would do it only to be able to date women. SSA women are so rare to come by and a lot of them have tons of trauma they haven't worked through or are SSA only because they've been disappointed by men, so to be able to be with women in the sense the society views acceptable and mainstream would be a great option to have. Other than that I don't desire to be a man.

No. 350529

Yeah trans men really get the shit end of the stick. People pay lip service to TIMs only because they're afraid of them but trans men have no leverage, they're always openly spat on even in trans circles and considered freaks of nature who threw their womanly duties (i.e. birthing babies and having boobs to ogle) away. People are always trying to fix masculine women but with "lost causes" like trans men they practically wish death upon.

No. 350546

Yes, 100% but only if I could really pass. I used to want to transition, almost started the process but didn't because most trans men didn't look convincingly male.

No. 350551

No, despite everything I still love being a woman.

No. 350557

I would do it for sure if I had less mental issues. And mostly for a dumb reason, I just really want to have a dick to have sex with women bc I bet it would be amazing. But current me would be a really horrible man since I would lose my female impulse control and compassion, so for the good of the world I would refrain from pressing the button.

No. 350565

autistic men are a mess so it's better my retarded ass stays a woman.

No. 350575

Nope, I want to be a masculine woman to prove that we can exist.

No. 350577

Fuck no, male bodies and genitals are repulsive. I would kill myself if I started going bald in my twenties. Plus Id loose half of my iq points, I'd have no self control or discipline and no personality outside of watching porn or sports. Males are the weakest beings in existence.

No. 350599

Yes, I don't really mind being a woman but it's just objectively much easier to live as a man. Though only if I could retain my personality/memories of being female, I'd probably be a psycho autist if I had actually grown up male.

No. 350617

yes, absolutely. i want people to stop treating me weirdly or behaving in a perverse way around me just because i'm a woman. i don't want to be seen as prey by literally everyone.

No. 350633

Essay/blogpost incoming.

I was in a similar boat as you when I was a teenager, except I didn't have that many friends (I had a bisexual male friend who became a transwoman due to homophobia, I had a lot of online friends I thought were similar to me but became transmen) and am a lesbian. But I decided not to transition because I would never actually look like a man, it would cost too much money, my parents would find out, etc. I also realized that becoming a man was just a band-aid solution for my self-hatred. I have no idea what it's like to actually be a man outside of what is shown is movies or people I talk to on a surface level say, how will I know if I'd really fit into "male culture"? The way I am was never a problem until other people made it, why do I have to change myself to fit some made up standard? Gender roles are a construct and often arbitrary, I'm over 30 now and what was considered "masculine/feminine" are different from 10 or 20 years ago. I would be considered fairly feminine a decade ago, but now I'm GNC for the low bar of not wearing makeup.

I had similar issues like hating my boobs, my period, shaving and makeup, being called a girl or woman, and fit in with boys better before I realized I was gay, but I later realized I had undiagnosed Autism, ADHD, and PCOS which explained everything. I also have PTSD from abuse from men and women, which made me feel like a third gender/nonbinary too. I stopped shaving and only wear concealer for acne rarely. I also had to internalize that a woman is just a biological female and not a feminine person. I used to feel like I wasn't woman around feminine straight girls because I couldn't fit into their gender/relationship roles, but it's society that says women have to be straight and feminine, being the female sex doesn't inform anything else about me. I still feel like an outcast around most women now, but I feel more at peace knowing it's not me that's the problem.

> I don't know really what testosterone is capable of doing
This is a big problem. Hormones are a big deal and not always glamorous like social media makes it out to be. It's like taking medication, you don't know what side effects or health issues will affect you or what effects you want will happen. I did a lot of research on testosterone because I had an identity crisis years ago and considered doing it (same method as you, Bitcoin), but both sides of my family have health issues and I realized it's not worth the risk. Unpopular opinion for this site, but a lot of HRT changes don't sound so bad and I wouldn't mind them, but there's no guarantee I'd get them and I've developed issues from taking generic psych meds too.

"Transman" and "nonbinary AFAB" experiences are female-only experiences, alternate identities are often a coping mechanism for them. Hormones are like medication, it's just a coping mechanism to mask the problem. I'm not hardcore "anti-trans" like most of this site but I've never seen good evidence for "trutrans" or anything but gender dysphoria being a societal issue like clinical depression. One of my closest friends for over 5 years swore up-and-down that they were a "trutrans", but detransitioned last year. Some people may be happier living as the opposite gender role in society, but I think often the difference between transgender and detransitioner is a matter of who can keep up the LARP long enough.

>However, I realized many people on lolcow are not too friendly of masculine women or butch women, as I've seen on both threads.
Yeah, I'm not butch but I do notice a lot of users on here tend to be feminine straight women (I notice a lot of lesbophobia and conflating GNC=trans=bad in other threads), which is why I prefer non-anonymous female communities. It's a gossip site after all, posts will be mean. I don't know if you use Reddit but r/Detrans will probably give you better advice than here, they allow gender questioning people and those who haven't transitioned yet.

No. 350666

Yes. I guess the restraints of masculinity would be annoying but it's probably nothing compared to how I feel othered and scrutinized for literally just existing.

No. 350673

Fuck no. I love myself as I am. I don't give a shit about how other people treat me or what they think about me. Other people can never convince me to want to become a moid.

No. 351274

The thing I don't get about other women is how status is determined amongst groups of women. Y'know how with moids it's like, the loudest, most dominant and most athletic one ends up being the highest status? Well it's obvious that there's a system of rank between women too but it's really hard to figure out what it's even based on. I know that being well dressed and having a hot boyfriend will up your status but apart from that most of this stuff seems to Greek to me, I think being 'elegant' and 'ladylike' is part of it but I have no idea what those words mean.

No. 351298

No, you’re getting all of this from tv. If a woman has “higher status” in her friend group it’s because she does something more that the others don’t I.e. hosts more often, coins for them, usually drives, etc

No. 351304

meant to say cooks

No. 351327

no offense, i know cases like these can happen, but this is a turbotard take even among nlogs and it's up to you to find women who aren't stepford wives caricatures. plenty of women-only/majority friend circles put value on non shallow status symbol shit like skills, hobbies, jobs, sense of humor, who hosts social events, etc. just keep looking and examine if your biases may play a part

No. 351334

This is what only seeing female friendships from highschool shows does to you. Most friendships don't have status aside from maybe a "group leader" who tends to be loud and annoying entitled person that tries to control the groups choices - they usually end up getting outcasted after a while though.

No. 351335

personally, if I were to find a group of friends that valued things like looks, social status or how attractive my Nigel is or how attractive I am over more tangible and sensible things like how good of a person I am, the skills I have or hobbies I cultivate would just not want to be around that group. realistically speaking the group I'm looking for probably doesn't exist so that's why I'm a loner currently.

No. 351336

These kinds of groups absolutely exist, you’re just not likely to find them if you go around assuming everyone else is more shallow than you.

No. 351337

Even in actual highschool the 'popular mean girls' genuinely clicked with each other as besties and it seemed like they picked friends almost entirely based on how fun and outgoing they were (I know because I was an awkward shy girl who tried and failed to fit in with one of those groups kek). They tended to be pretty but not necessarily all of them, and I think that was more what gave them status in other people's eyes rather than their own.

No. 351340

I don't assume anything about anyone but you're delusional if you think most groups of normies are people who 100% value skills or integrity over money or looks. even when they value skills sometimes, it's because they expect something from you. I've joined several groups with an open heart and mind and was proven wrong each time. I'm not assuming most people are shallow but I'm a sceptical now. my alone time is more valuable than me testing out friend groups to see if I get along with people and also don't feel judged by them. I'm simply too old to go around doing that, never denied friend groups of good people exist. good for you if you can just have access to friend groups but detach yourself enough and not get victimized in some way by your friend group eventually because you were the outsider but also emotionally invested with the people in it. happened to me each time and I still wonder what I did wrong.

No. 352444

I don't understand the need for normie women to use passive aggressiveness as their main mode of communication while somehow expecting you not to acknowledge it isn't ragingly obvious to both of you they're being rude and putting you down to your face. There isn't any not awkward way to respond and you've got to be confident enough to try. I'm not. I think they can pick up on that and it bolsters their egos above mine so they feel at ease to do this. It's such an uncomfortable power play and I've experienced it from most girls and women I've met since childhood, even in friendships. When it happens I get so embarrassed deep down and so insecure I want to wither away. I gave up being feminine a while ago but it made these interactions hurt worse. It makes me want to outcompete them, be skinnier, be prettier, wear better clothes, have a nicer living space just to shove it in their faces that what they base their self-worth on isn't that far out of reach of the women they treat as lesser for struggling. I'm not generalising because my sister was a model and is one of the prettiest women I've ever seen (I am not) and she is so insanely kind and nice, and she says the same things happen to her.

No. 352447

I understand how you feel, nonna. Once I got older and “glowed up” ig, I got more confident telling passive aggressive girls to fuck off. My favorite is to say “why are you being such a little snot about it?” And then watch them get embarrassed and flustered and try to backtrack bc most of them expect to never be called out. I had a friend who was way more outspoken than me and she would do it for me until i got confident enough to do it myself. Once she told a “friend” of mine who commented “wow eat a sandwich lol!” On a pic i thought was really nice of myself, my outspoken friend bitched her tf out and the mean girl backtracked so hard. There are girls girls out there who won’t be petty I promise. Don’t feel bad if you are not conforming to stupid gender standards, you’re not less than because of it. I hope one day you can feel powerful and put someone in their place too. ♥

No. 352532

I’m sorry but this isn’t true at all, both men and women generally pick friendships based on status and what they can get from a person. Someone who is beautiful, rich, high status etc is almost always gonna be more sought after as a friend, even if they are horrible people. There are some people who don’t make friendships based in appearance, but you’re lying if you think most people don’t avoid being seen around fat or ugly people, even if they have a good personality. Most normies are shallow as fuck.

No. 352544

I agree it takes confidence, natural autistic bluntness helps me a lot in that regard, but if you just reply directly or even just ask 'what do you mean?' it gets them right in the ego. It's pretty funny honestly.

No. 352559

When I was in elementary school I was definitely one of the weird kids, probably due to being homeschooled until 3rd grade. I never really knew what I was doing wrong I just remember feeling alienated by my peers. It was pretty much the same in middle school but I was pretty ugly at that age too with huge gross crooked gap teeth. When I started 6th grade I walked up to a group of people I knew and heard one girl say:
>Yeah, she's so weird
And then the entire group stared at me. I'll never forget that moment and how all their eyes looked. Any female friend I tried to make since then got fed up and ditched me at some point until I dropped out at 8th grade. I was super annoying I think around this age and when I made a friend I liked I would idolize them and try to be like them until they got fed up and yelled at me to leave them alone. I don't know what caused me to do this, I guess just general social retardation. I still catch myself doing this to an extent like if I spend a lot of time with someone I'll imitate their speech (completely unintentionally) or I find myself buying clothes I that I know that friend might wear or like since I think they are pretty and stylish. It seems like I grow very close to female friends and then it turns out they didn't view our friendship the same way I did and something happens where I get really hurt or betrayed and can't recover from it. I'm not really good at getting over things and I guess it just seems like women have cut me down more brutally and intentionally than men have. I've never actually written this out before now… I think I'm otherwise just kind of rude and an asshole and people just pretend to tolerate me so I don't go completely off the deep end. I wish I was comfortable with being alone and didn't seek validation from people.

No. 352577

I disagree, I'm not exactly a high status person but I have some friends who are different from me and they treat me well. They're not the majority in the world but things are not as bleak as you make them seem.

No. 352603

I was a TIF for so long (from ages 12 to 20) that now, whenever I decide to dress up more "feminine" (dresses or skirts, doing my hair and makeup), I feel like I'm essentially pretending to be a woman. Like as if I was doing drag instead of just being.
And this is not about being gnc, I like to wear women's alternative and goth style clothing and I love the style and I love dressing like that. But it just feels so weird when I'm with my friend group of women who are all so confident appearance and style wise and know how to dress and "just be", and here I feel like I'm putting on a woman skin suit and wearing it like a halloween costume. Its made worse that my friends have known me from childhood and accepted me as TIF so I'm just feeling like "Do these people still see me as that person and think that I'm just pretending to be into this? Do they feel uncomfortable around me?" It's made worse that, while I love my friends dearly, we have little common interests I guess.
I'm just venting because I don't know who to talk about this.

No. 352842

Never been a TIF but I relate to your post, whenever I try to perform feminity I feel like a buffoon, I'm not even androgynous, I just feel like being frumpy is my default state and I can't get out of it. I feel like an overgrown teenager in general despite already being 30, even just being called a woman sounds weird to my ears, like it's some kind of title I've never earned.

No. 352865

I'm not a TIF either but I feel like I'm performing and not actually being myself when I get dolled up. I don't even own dresses because I don't think they suit me and I feel weird wearing them. I'm also fine with alternative clothing but when I have to look normal and perform normal femininity it feels so forced. I think if I ever brought this up in therapy I would probably be diagnosed as a TIF but I don't want to be a man either.

No. 352873

Why do any of you need to perfom femininty if it makes you uncomfortable. Being yourself doesnt make you less of a woman, being a woman is innate, something you were born as. Societal construct of femininity is man made and frankly a male thing, it has nothing to do with being a woman. I guess a lot of you are autistic and conflate being female with femininity, but you are just as much a woman if you wear pants and have short hair.

No. 352874

If more women were just themselves, I don't think most girls/women would have problems interacting and befriending others. There is always gonna be mental health issues that get in the way but for the most part I think being forced to be someone you're not is always gonna lead to stifled relationships.

No. 353028

File: 1697357803907.png (47.04 KB, 843x415, tttt.PNG)

it's true

No. 353041

It is true. I’ve seen girls be called pickme on tiktok for playing the guitar or skateboarding.

No. 353053

When I was being myself, I attracted all sorts of people who were not themselves aka the personality disordered and I didn’t know how to defend myself. I think I pissed them off. One of them even said as much, how my things should be hers it was intense. So you have to be a little not yourself in order to survive this place at least until you get to a place of financial security. Idk YMMV but it’s a fine line

No. 353312

This is true. I've always thought of myself as nlog because I'm a social outcast with male interests etc, but at the same time I'm not a pickme. The two should be treated as different concepts.

No. 353320

There needs to be a stronger distinction between a girl claiming she's not like other girls to put down other girls or pander to men VS a girl claiming she's not like other girls because she literally isn't and may face special challenges.
Girls who are autistic, who have non-normative or traumatic life experiences, who are attracted to girls, who are a minority demographic in their area, or who are otherwise factually and statistically not like most of their peers should be able to communicate unique needs without being accused of trying to be a special snowflake. Of course many people use these labels to grift and fish for attention but there are also many genuine individuals who are actually struggling with something that not everyone understands, and it seems like people don't bother being nuanced anymore.

No. 353324

I agree that a pickme is a separate concept, but I also just feel like the term nlog has lost its original meaning at this point. Personally, I take nlog to mean being a girl who actively emphasizes how different she is from other girls. Be it for attention, because of internalized misogyny or out of self-pity, the central message is that she is unlike other girls and she either revels or wallows in this idea.
A woman who simply likes male hobbies or gets along better with males doesn't have to be an nlog. With actual nlogs, 'I'm not into makeup' turns into 'I can't imagine wasting time on frivolous face-paint'. 'I like [male hobbies]' becomes 'Girls think I'm so weird for liking [male hobbies] instead of [female hobbies]'. And finally one that I'm still sometimes guilty of: 'I have a hard time making female friends' becomes 'I'm such an awkward goblin compared to how put-together and socially adept all these women are, I can never relate'.

So while pickmeism is all about wanting to seem more attractive and putting other women down, to me being an nlog is more about exaggerating how different you are. It's about viewing other women as this monolith who is always "the other". You can be a social outcast with male interests and genuinely have trouble relating to other women, while still not being an nlog.

This way of thinking about it is comforting to me because it helps me realize that having more male hobbies and difficulty socializing with other women doesn't mean I have to let those differences define me. I want to close the gap between myself and this idealized and intimidating concept of "other women" I have developed. Yes, I may be further removed from the average than most and that makes it harder to relate, but that doesn't make me an nlog and in the end I'm just as much a woman as any other.

No. 353335

nta but none of those examples sound like nlogism imo. isn't the whole point of the term that the girl thinks she's superior to other girls? so self-deprecating is the opposite of that. and some of this might be based off what a girl heard other girls say about her, like this one
>'Girls think I'm so weird for liking [male hobbies] instead of [female hobbies]'
like what if those girls actually do call you weird for it? can someone not talk about that? it just sounds like acknowledging how they're treated rather than trying to put anyone down

No. 353398

i agree. Sorry for blog i just have been thinking about this recently. my interests are vastly different than the average woman, and has more overlaps with men than women, my socialization style is completely different than other women, and I’m not very good at performing femininity, but I’m not a tomboy or gnc either. Like, I don’t think I’m manlike. But I’m definitely not girly. Even tho a lot of my interests overlap with men’s i engage in my interests differently than men, I even dislike they way they engage in said hobbies and wish there were other women I could do all these stuff with instead. I also hate men and don’t give a fuck about their validation like at all, I don’t have a single male friend and I avoid talking to men in general unless i really have to because they annoy me. And I lowkey crave female validation. I wish other women liked what I like. I wish other women socialized like I did. I wish other women liked ME. So I am definitely a NLOG, in a sense that I’m an outcast among women but I’m not a pickme because I really couldn’t care less about moids and their validation.

No. 353431

> You can be a social outcast with male interests and genuinely have trouble relating to other women, while still not being an nlog.

Or even try to get into female hobbies, but because they're foreign to you/out of your comfort zone, you end up wasting whatever money you spent on stuff that gathers dust at home.

Like, for instance, ten years ago because I had time, I got into nail art and bought a lot of nail varnish. Most of it is at my mom's house cuz I don't use any nowadays, even the few nail varnish colors I've got in my house now I use once a year tops. Because with my work and the household chores, it feels like a waste of time to doll up my nails for the nail varnish to be chipped away less than three hours later. Besides I always cut my nails short cuz I can't stand the noise of long nails on a keyboard/phone.
Same with make-up. I've got some, and I put some on occasionally, but I end up smearing it because my eyes are itchy or because I have to blow my nose (and then the paper tissue removes whatever concealer or BB cream I put on), so basically the makeup I've got home gets used maybe a total of three to five times a year (Halloween, WGT and some special concert or dinner in town).

No. 353455

AYRT and wow you sound exactly like me. I wish we could be friends ;_;(;_;)

No. 353462

same, i want other women in my hobbies (extremely rare) to be my friends and to do cool stuff together, but they're all very well socially adjusted and they have a lot (and i mean A LOT) of friends already, it seems like i don't even matter to them.

No. 353476

>wish other women liked what I like. I wish other women socialized like I did. I wish other women liked ME.
Fuck, I felt this so hard. I've always been a tomboy, an outcast from other girls ever since I was young, and I've been bullied and othered for being GNC and lesbian all my life. But the worst part is that even when I hide these aspects of myself, when I tried wearing makeup and lied about having boyfriends, I was STILL othered. I've always been avoided like I have some invisible forcefield repelling every other woman my age away from me, and I just don't know what the fuck I do wrong. Even when other women are willing to give me the chance, I end up feeling like we're two separate species anyway. I love scrote-ish, sweaty, competitive FPS and MOBAs, speedrunning techs, computers and programming, etc., and I genuinely feel like I'm the only woman alive who's into those sometimes. I feel like the only feminine hobby I have is drawing, but even then, most artist women I meet draw handsome bishies which doesn't really interest me as a gay woman.
I have only had luck with older women, they seemingly love me and gravitate towards me. My only guess is that older women have seen some shit and have no time to participate in the retarded female socialization game, which makes us have a mutual understanding of each other and similar manner of communicating. They don't beat around the bush, and they're just as straightforward and blunt as I am, so I get along great with them. Have any other nonnas had a similar experience?

No. 353632

me too anon. I personally think the socialization differences when you don’t “pattern after” straight gender conforming women develomentally the way gender conforming straight/osa-leaning women do just goes so deep that those women treat us differently unconsciously no matter how we dress or act. I can easily feel how much more comfortable I become in some circumstances swapping from a small talk convo with a woman to a man, even thought I am uncomfortable with many men for other reasons, and when I started paying attention to those switches I noticed so many small social cues i had picked up from guys that were not alike with what women do. tbh making friends with a lot of trans identified women helped me but it’s really alienating in other ways, obviously

No. 354028

So my fiance’s family is like my family because mine is shite but I still don’t quite feel like I belong and I talk to my SILs (ik im not married so they’re not in laws yet but I’ll use it cause it’s quicker to type out than my “fiancés’ brothers’wife”)here and there and my MIL of course, I love her.
She went on a trip and she hugged everyone before she left except me and I was just right there.
And something similar happened a while ago with my SIL hugging everyone even my bf but not me. I must be like repellant or something I hate myself, my mom doesn’t like me and now my stand in is not liking me either. Wtf is wrong with me I don’t wanna really know but I do I wish I were someone else, I feel heavy and sometimes I stare off and think of how lonely I am before I carry on with my day. But earlier not getting a hug hurt so bad I feel dissed even my nigel noticed she didn’t hug me. I don’t know anymore nonas this is literally the only place I come to talk to people… and I see posts like “if you have no friends there must be something wrong with you” it hurts because I know there is but idk what to do I still want some I live in a small town and my old best friend left she’s married and her husband never liked me. I just am so swollen from crying idk I’m sorry for the pitying myself so much I’m just so pathetic

No. 354044

I’m a virgin and I feel like I judge other women (and men) on their sexual behaviors a lot. I think many people do this, even very liberal types, but it makes me feel like an asshole in a way. At the same time I can’t really hide my disgust, there was a girl at work who kept talking about her sex life and how she hooks up with different guys and lets them do stuff like face fucking, and it changed my perception of her a lot and I began to avoid her as I thought her behavior was pathetic. She was a nice girl in other ways but I feel like I just don’t like most sex havers in general. If a guy has slept with more than a couple of girls I feel disgusted by him too.

No. 354045

Growing up I looked like a boy and had short hairs and had boyish interests too. I was never a tif nor did I ever actually want to be a man, but I was somewhat socialized as a boy because of my appearance, and nearly all my friends were boys too. Around 14-15 I started growing out of my tomboy phase and getting into really girly interests and hobbies and fashion, but I realized that my outward appearance didn’t match it so well. I don’t look like a man but I have unconventional features that make me look less feminine I guess, like a wide jaw and longer face, so I felt really out of place even though I wanted to embrace my feminine side. I have never once had any kind of gender dysphoria in my life, but I feel like I can’t really be accepted into that girly girls world because I’m not conventionally attractive or cute enough. I feel very weird and wish that I was prettier, I feel like when I wear nice dresses or cute pastel colors I just look like a clown.

No. 354066

I am outwardly very feminine but the way that my dad raised my sisters and I was very strict in comparison to my brother. They knew the world would be harder for their daughters and set us up for as much success as possible, I'm very grateful but now I have basically become the worst parts of my father. I am a lesbian but I end up treating anyone I'm interested in like how my dad treated my mom I treat men similarly not because I'm attracted to them but because idk how else to and it doesn't really bother them as much

No. 354077

is it not normal to feel this way? Either way if someone's oversharing about nasty stuff then that's a pathetic trait in its own right, super TMI. I wouldn't want to listen to that kind of thing even if it wasn't about themselves
i actually had sex maybe 3 times with 1 guy recently and i feel like my perception of myself really changed. idk, i really embraced "virgin" as a key part of my identity so now it feels dissonant and uncomfortable not being one. I decided i wont do it again for a long time but it will never be the same

No. 354104

As an old virgin I'd probably get an existential crisis if I ever have sex, I'm fine staying this way. I totally get you about the status embracing.

No. 354118

yeah i agreee. i get disgusted if i learn someone is too sexually adventurous, men or women doesn’t matter. it’s crazy to me that the average person just fucks anyone and everyone. having religious parents at a young age destroyed my perception of sexuality, even tho I’m not religious myself, but i think something is also wrong with normie sex havers

No. 354150

>if you have no friends there must be something wrong with you
absolute brainlet take tbh, especially for women. i can see why a moid that has no friends at all can be shit (it's stupid easy to make friends even for the most retarded and douchey moid) but certainly not a woman, did they consider that women who can't find female friends are simply in the wrong place at the wrong time and can't/rightfully don't want to fit themselves in the dumbass societal norms enforced on women, and without which you're often ostracised by other women? (not taking moids into account since they both enforce the norms AND only want to fuck = no friendship possibility unless they're literally unicorns)

No. 354206

In my experience men ‘enforce’ gender roles way less than women do. Like I haven’t encountered this ‘keep each other in line’ mentality over perceived differences.

No. 354213

Same, I actually like being a virgin. I am not letting a mans dick near me.

No. 354264

How do I go about learning how to dress myself as an adult? Are there any makeup for retards channels I can check out? I want to move past graphic tees and jeans, I want to make myself look cute, but I don't know what to do. I don't wanna be called frumpy anymore. I don't know what to do and I just want to rot away.

No. 354426

I asked the same question a few years back here during a bout of low self-esteem and got called a tranny. Honestly, if you're not into this kind of the stuff in the first place, you probably shouldn't bother. I feel like people who are into fashion and makeup naturally are interested in those things. Trying to force yourself to be something you're not is really emotionally taxing.

No. 354491

File: 1698066772886.jpg (43.74 KB, 500x500, pc-collaborations-cdcxuniqlo.j…)

Compliment the women around you on pieces/outfits you like, they should open up a little and you can get some advice. Plus based on the thread this is in, you probably could use some female companionship. Saying "I want to dress like you" outright would be a little creepy, but "I've been looking for a cute sweater with winter coming!", "I want to wear tights this season, but have terrible luck with them breaking" stuff like that.
Besides that, find a nice basic brand like uniqlo and study their catalog a little. Save up the outfits that catch your eye, and then try to assemble a couple for yourself at the end.
The glow up thread >>264337 just had some good posts on intro makeup/no makeup looks.
Other anon's advice of don't force it is good though, if you're uncomfortable everyone can tell. Find stuff that you feel good wearing first, and use it as a chance to build some rapport with the women around you.

No. 354494

File: 1698068371836.png (111.7 KB, 363x404, capsule.png)

Check out pinterest and search for "outfit inspo", there will be loads of results and you can narrow it down into different styles you're into from there. I'd also recommend checking out capsule wardrobes because those usually have staple pieces and basics that you can use in a ton of different outfits (some are kinda bland though but they're a good starting point to build off of).

Also I know it's a bit of meme, but finding my kibbe type helped me curate my wardrobe and finally figure out what looks good on my body type. I don't follow it to a T but do try to incorporate the styling suggestions in my outfits so I look nicer. It also helps me not waste money on clothes that I like but won't actually look good on me kek.

No. 354889

how tf does someone bring up face fucking in a conversation with a coworker. maybe i'm not "normie" enough but i could never imagine talking about something like that casually with random people

No. 355264

This got me thinking because I’ve had the exact same experience with friends. Like not getting a hug when everyone else did, not being included in plans when everyone else did, being told ”I thought you weren’t interested” without asking.
I hope I don’t come across stupid, but for me, it’s the vibes I give. No matter how hard I try people don’t read me as a positive person, I don’t know how to force friendliness on others. So other people get negative vibes from me and don’t want to hug me or something because I seem like I dislike them. I’m not constantly giving them positive affirmations of something lol. And obviously I get hurt and they can sense that resentment from me. It’s a toxic cycle cause then they know their vibes about me were correct and I get more upset with the whole socializing thing cause this shit never works out.

Like how do you break that cycle? I feel like I’m always wrong and I can never be nice enough to other women. They relate to eachother so easily, sharing stuff from their personal social lives, their conversations flow and they click with eachother. Why is it so hard for me? Because I’ve always been an outcast I guess they can smell the inexperience and resentful negative vibes from me. I’ve had a lot of bad experiences recently while trying to be normal in normal spaces and all I’ve figured out is that it’s me who’s the problem. That hurts.

No. 355280

I guess I feel like other girls are not very direct, and my autistic ass can’t read it, and I am kicked out of these groups for it.

I’ll use my current guy friend group vs the girl group I was recently kicked out of. If I say something that upsets one of the guys, they will tell me right away that I went too far and to not do that shit again. I obviously take that in and listen, because they make it very obvious that this thing I did is completely unacceptable and that I’m damaging the friendship. They also tell me this right away, so there’s no built up resentment. And if I do it again, I catch it, delete it, then apologize personally. If I do it and don’t catch it, they tell me “hey, you’re doing it again, cut the shit” and I stop the moment I realize that what I’m doing is bothering.

With the recent group I was in that had girls, I was unintentionally bothering one of the main friends. She kept silent for WEEKS before mentioning she didn’t like what I did. She didn’t like that I talked “bad” about men and that was it. I apologized, and we moved on. I thought it was all fine, until one day, she snaps at me about a million other things that I did, that were never given warnings or called out, and how she’s resented me for weeks and she can’t believe I didn’t even notice what I did wrong, I was kicked out and so confused.

I feel stupid because I didn’t read the obvious social queues, there were so many of them that I didn’t pick up on at all because they weren’t said to me in a direct way. This isn’t just this friend group, it seems to be the case in every female dominated social group im in. My only female friends now are either other tomboys who also have this direct way of talking, or TIFs. I just…genuinely don’t pick up on when people are upset unless they tell me

No. 355283

File: 1698357828002.png (233.22 KB, 1191x619, Screenshot 2023-10-26 150315.p…)

The younger a woman is in comparison to a man, the more idolized, valuable, and attractive to him she will be.

No. 355302

Ngl, i sometimes do find myself attracted to older men, but the man in this video is far too geriatric for me personal tastes, the cap for me has always been mid 40s. At least i am almost within the age range where these men will be my main dating pool, i'd rather wait it out than date someone unironically older than a lot of my aunts and uncles.

No. 355304

I can't believe that once upon a time when i was young i thought not having sex by your early 20s meant that there was something wrong with you, because i internalised that from people around me. Now i am almost 30 and still and virgin and tbh i can't fathom ever having sex and i don't think i'd ever want to. My horniess levels have never been as high as there were when i was in my late teens ever again. I also know about myself thanks to masturbation that i don't really enjoy penetration all that much and hetrosexual sex revolves around that, what pleasure would i ever actually obtain from it in that case? I find sexually promiscuous people to be a very strange bunch and sex to inherently be an act of contamination to the female body. I accept that this is probably misogynistic and i have no interest in defiling myself or allowing myself to be that level of vulnerable with a man and i feel really strongly about this to the point where i honestly get extremely angry and insane at the suggestion of trying to pair me off with a man. An aunt suggested i do a blind date and i honestly wanted to throw something at her.

No. 355307

moids suck at telling age. If you don't have crazy wrinkles or mom bod you can tell moids you're 22 until you're 45

No. 355310

I completely relate to this as a mid 20's woman who is still a virgin and is volcel. I don't really think it's misogynistic to view sex as defiling considering most moids view sex/sex acts as degrading and get off on women's submission whether they admit it or not. I also get extremely upset/agitated when someone suggests I just need to get over it and find "a good one", it sends me spiraling until I start feeling like a schizo. At this point I think if I slept with a guy I'm pretty sure I'd be traumatized for life. It's crazy to me hearing about casual hookups and thirsting after men like it means nothing. I feel like an alien that fell out of the mothership and landed on earth sometimes kek at least it's comforting to know there's others like me out there

No. 355331

Tbh you don’t sound like the problem here. To me it’s psychotic to just resent someone silently for months without telling them. I don’t care if it’s “normal”, that’s some serial killer shit. You said you apologize and stop doing it if you hurt someone’s feelings- so you’re fine anon.

No. 355339

I also appreciate the solidarity on the matter. Finding people with our opinion on this kind of thing is very rare and even the most supposedly understanding people get their knickers in a twist straight away.

No. 355781

I'm interested in fashion, not so much makeup but it seems like a good thing to know if you gotta go somewhere nice. The issue has mainly been that I was too poor to buy things, and now that I've escaped poverty the mindset has followed me. Plus, it feels like clothes just sit on my body weird. I don't know how to describe it.

Thank you so much. I'm definitely gonna look into that kibbe thing too.

No. 355874

Got it. I interpreted your post from a completely different angle. I can understand how difficult it is to escape the poverty mindset but if you can afford to spend a bit money on yourself, you should go for it. Money is important but not so important that it keeps you from enjoying things in life. In any case, good luck on finding a style that you enjoy!

No. 357919

Being bullied by the two genders and growing in a verbally abusive household during chilhood affected me a lot when it comes to socialize in general.
I'm starting being friends with some girls online but with my irl uni friends I don't talk that much since pandemic. It's kinda difficult to approach to them when at least one of them graduated and we don't have the same interest anymore (college gossip and classes)
I do feel like it's like that. Sorry for this quick vent but there's an episode of my life where I used to dress tomboyish at last year of elementary school and my girl classmates used to call me lesbian just for dessing like that and not having kissed a boy too. It hurted a lot in that moment since I didn't have anyone to talk about at home.
I relate a lot in what you said, nona, hope you're doing alright nowadays.

No. 360511

File: 1700662285317.jpeg (17.02 KB, 474x330, th (1).jpeg)

As someone with the most libfem friends i think women shouldn't be stigmatised to act a bit retarded sometimes. You never double back if a dude was saying retarded shit. That's my gripe, good night everyone.

No. 361340

I been fighting with moids online and offline that I don't have a soft side anymore. I'm in a hypervigilant mode but I want to calm down and be more girly.

No. 361344

Nonnie, I’m in the same position as you (or, you were in) and relate to everything you said. How is it going now? I just found out this year the difference that wearing clothes that actually fit makes and have a lot of catching up to do on just… not looking frumpy and awkward in clothing. My entire “style” before consisted of hand-me-downs from family members, so of course it was incoherent and ill-fitting.

No. 361363

I just starting seeing someone. The age gap is interesting… he is 21 and I am 32 but we like each other a lot so whatever I will enjoy it. It's so weird to say but when I was 21 I was dating many older men, and only a couple younger and it was actually worse. At least this guy is sweet and very attractive and has money and independence so he is maturing faster(wrong thread)

No. 363866

>be me
>childhood friend invites me to his 21st in a beer garden / bar
>i know no one, just him
>also coming straight from my shift so I'll be in ugly uniform top
>fuck it let's face our fears and go out and be extroverted and maybe make a new friend!!
>go to bar/beer garden and see Friend, exchange greetings
>Friend wants to introduce me to his gamer friends(males)
>"apologies, my good sir, but i am a cool normie(lie) and I will like to hang with the normies"
>ive been training by consuming tv shows popular with women; glee, vampire diaries, riverdale
>been investing in cosmetic procedures(waxing, threading, manicures) instead of doing it at home
>found the girl group of the party, all dressed nice, hair and makeup done, heels and pretty dresses
>childhood friend gf, gf's sister, gf's friends that she met through BEING A DANCER
>had a dancer aquaintance before but friendship didnt last because nothing in common except league of legends
>but theyre my age, i should be able to fit it
>throughout the night ive been starting convos, taking peoples photos, dancing,
>no one has initiated convos with me except the Friend's mum, and one male that followed up on our previous convo
>i have no pics
>would suggest shots and then wouldnt be included
>remembered the names of everyone I've talked to, no one remembered mine.
>asked Friend and his gf if i should join the afterparty at another bar or should call it a night as I'm the odd one out
>both wanted me to join
>ended up leaving the second bar after standing alone for 5 minutes
>tearing up as i walked to pc cafe to play vidya
I am so so so embarrassed, I have never been so alienated before, I thought it would be easy and that the girls would be nice but they really wanted nothing to do with me, and I stuck out so much when next to them. I really didnt fit in and just regret going in the first place. Now I'm kinda planning on not attending the christmas party my best friend's bf's friend group is having. Am I really that weird that those other girls couldn't care less to try to be nice and talk to me about anything?

No. 364043

I feel locked out of a lot of female social groups because I don't use social media. I frequently hear women my age discussing "did you see this from TikTok" or drama about people's interactions online or dating app related stuff and not only is it absolutely alien to me, but I don't want to be involved with that nonsense… but I still want to make friends with other women and not be an outcast. I find it easier to talk to men or older people because they don't talk about social media or existing social group dynamics so much, but I wish I got along more easier with my own demographic.
I'm a zoomer in uni and it's crushing knowing the stereotype about us, seeing it actually play out in real life, and feeling powerless about it. My peers really are glued to TikTok, and they really do sperg about stuff being problematic or about genders or mental illnesses in real life so there is no normal offline world for me, it's just the same stuff. And I feel like I can't even talk about it because it sounds nlog-y

No. 364056

I find it hard to relate to people my age in general. There's a big pub/club/partying/drug culture in my area and I have no interest in those things, but they're so widespread. Multiple times a week in my college my classmates go out for drinks after lectures are over. Even the typical nerds who you'd think wouldn't be up to no good are into this bad lifestyle to an extent, once I made friends with a girl who literally played quidditch (i.e running around with a broomstick between her legs as a hobby) and the one time I went to her house she was shocked when I didn't want to drink or do drugs with her. I have one friend that's not into any of these things whatsoever.
With women especially it's hard to relate because I'm not "pretty." I don't dress like a slob or anything but I do dress plainly (like a sweater and jeans is my normal look) and don't wear makeup on a daily basis or get my nails done. But the usual look for girls in my class is either juicy couture tracksuits with a full face of makeup or the tiktok old money aesthetic also with a full face of makeup but in more subtle colours. I still feel more comfortable talking to them than men though, I feel like men would bully me to my face whereas as women are at least polite in person

No. 364058

Well since you know what the problem is, you can fix it. Makeup, nails, nicer clothes. Maybe it will be easier to make friends if you look better.

No. 364061

I look fine, I just don't like heavy makeup, long fake nails or getting my fashion sense from tiktok. I'm not going out wearing hoodies and sweatpants with a hole or anything, I just look and feel more professional in classier clothes and simple jewellery. Plus changing my sense of style to one I consider ugly/tacky still wouldn't fix the core issue of not wanting to get coked out in a dingy bathroom on every night out just to hang out with people

No. 364067

I feel my problem is I like stereotypical 'male' things; like videogames, metal, and dress kind of tomboyish, I also may have autism which makes me a very naive person, I have trouble understanding social cues. I feel like most girls that try to become friends with me get bored of me because of my awkwardness and the fact we don't share anything in common apart from makeup, the very few female friends I have made do have things in common with me, mostly the music part, but they are hard to find where i live in. Most of them only care about partying and clubbing or drinking and don't share the same sense of humour as me, how i'm I supposed to fit in or fix this without having to change who I am and the things I enjoy? it does make me feel real bad since I feel alone in college most of the times. I'm an introvert and a shy person but I do have more male friends.

No. 364070

If you're under 25 finding people not into the party scene can be hard. It doesn't fall on traditional '80s movie nerd-jock lines, I've met nerds who are heavy drinkers/partiers and the love of my life is a girl I met in college who was jock-y and not into partying.

But I guarantee wherever you are there's a large minority of people who don't really like to party, at my college (literally was a top 10 national party school lol) it was about 1/4 of the students. They're usually more introverted so it can be hard to befriend them, doing so one on one is usually best.

No. 364110

retarded advice

No. 364179

Starting to think I should simply delete my discord and not talk to anyone ever again online or irl. Starting to think I simply am not meant to have female or male friends in general. I hate men but also can't handle female socialization. I love my friends but I think they're annoying. I'm so unlikeable.

No. 364192

Imagine being friends with the type of women who only tolerate you for your cute nails. Deranged and retarded.

No. 364215

Everyone is your friend if you believe they are. This is true in most cases anyway. Like how outgoing friendly social people seem to be surrounded by people, they don’t actually know all those people intimately and have sleepovers and swap bff necklaces they just believe those people like them and act happy to see them every time they meet (and they can remember names and faces). You too can do this even if you’re awkward. Maintain some connection with everyone who isn’t an asshole, even the ones who you worry got bored of you (unless you know for 100% they don’t like you). Occasionally invite them to things even if it’s not the music they say they like, an invite is still nice to get. Don’t chase them or anything just believe there’s a small friendship there. This keeps your social circle larger and you’re more likely to meet people you can share your interest with, and it will keep you from feeling totally alone and broken. Life is long and you can’t limit the friendship title to only your soulmate bff, it’s better to have a variety of friends even if they’re spread out geographically or you don’t see them all the time. Like I hope you get to travel to a concert far away and meet a cool girl who also likes the music you like and you don’t give up on the friendship just because she lives far away.
Also you sound cool and hot don’t change your style

No. 364861

File: 1702346894836.jpg (78.56 KB, 720x734, 14d5be8d64308eec28a01f8dc357ee…)

Did anyone else had a problem maintaining friendships? Because i do and don't know what my problem is. If anyone has advice please do tell
My first friendship breakup was when i was like 12 we fought a lot we disolved the group and i kept talking to one of the girls but i lost her number so we never talked again. When i was in high school i though i was doing well talking to more people (like…7/8 people or something) in a close friendly manner but i ended up cutting contact when we finished, just outright blocking all of them.
I did this because i felt like a second option ALL THE TIME they all had their own groups and went out to parties and when i didnt want to go they just called me boring or wanted me to go despite knowing i didnt like any of those, one of them was particularly insistant on me being more femenine i felt like she wanted to take as some sort of makeover project or something. I also had nothing in common with no one. I liked to read the classics and they all liked young adult novels and shit you can literally read on Wattpad. I liked movies and no one cared about anything that didnt include romance or the popular tv shows i just didnt care about my music taste was too weird too i guess idk they just didnt care or plain disliked it. I liked drawing and cartoons and the only one of my friends who also liked that seemingly hadnt seen them or only liked the way they looked and didnt care for the stories (i know this is dumb). Even when i got past that with that friend and considered the closest to me there was weird behaviour towards me. Like if i didnt catch something they said in secret i got "i'll tell you later" (every fucking time) but when someome else from the group asked they were told inmediatly! Like wtf why can't i know?? I always tried to start a conversation, saying hi, sending a pic/meme whatever but it was always me and i never got a message first unless they needed something…And they didnt even care about my interest in the group i just talked about something and it derailed into a topic someone else cared about even if i always tried to talk about their individual interest in different moments, why didnt i get that treatment? Is like no one even cared
I peviously tried to cut ties with this group but kept it until our last year before finally blocking everyone. Fucking hate everything i sound so needy sensitive and stupid i don't even know what to do

No. 364868

I wish female solidarity was real. It pisses me off how much women talk behind each other. Most women imo really do have a gossiping problem which makes it hard to connect with them. I’m not a pick me, I’d prefer a gossipy women over any scrote but I’m still upset over the fact that most women are backstabbers. Maybe I feel this way because I’m autistic lol

No. 364870

This is how the world works. You either adapt or stay friendless. Your choice.

No. 364872

nta but friendless it is then. lol

No. 364918

I’m scared of girls

No. 364923

Nta but I don't do my nails and yet I have a lot of friends, imagine hanging out with vapid people, couldn't be me.

No. 364933

But I want to do the no makeup no shampoo no deodorant challenge for at least a month

No. 364982

Stop larping as Karmalita Fox.

A woman equating women not wearing makeup to not taking care of basic hygiene is so sad.

No. 364990

The no deodorant no shampoo thing is a meme that doesn't work on everyone, take care of yourself. You don't need to wear makeup tho

No. 364991

Do NOT do no deodorant!

No. 365002

>no shampoo no deodorant
I mean… Why? What's the point of being dirty for a month? It's not about feminity, we'll adjusted men also clean up and use deodorant.

No. 365003

It's your mistake for studying a shitty major tbh. In serious majors most women and men dress like you do and even if they party they do it on the weekends. Someone wearing tacky heavy makeup, drinking/doing drugs during the week and fake designer/tacky designer is a sign of low intelligence to me.

No. 365016

My course is Batchelors of Laws, which I don't think is a shitty major at all. I worked very hard to get accepted. I think you just might be out of touch with what people in their early twenties dress like and do tbh, assuming intelligence or that I picked a bad course based on fake nails being a trend in my age group is crazy

No. 365055

File: 1702423905722.jpeg (34.75 KB, 735x721, descargar.jpeg)

same, nona, same.
i feel so crushed and scared when i'm next to pretty girls or girls that are so well dressed.
i have this toxic idea if the person has good look there's a lot of probability that can be a bad person

nta either but i'll prefer being alone if that's the case

No. 365075

I know you were trying really hard but that sounds like a nightmare mode situation to start in. All those girls were already friends so they probably felt like you were intruding. Would your friend be open to inviting you out with his gf? Or at least sending the two of you to get to know each other better?

Step 1: make friends with people you actually like. (Also if you block everyone you think didn't like you, there's no chance for any of them to reach out and try to repair the friendship. Just saying)

No. 365083

>Would your friend be open to inviting you out with his gf? Or at least sending the two of you to get to know each other better?
He thinks(knows) that we would not have much in common because
a) he didnt really try introducing me to any of the girls( I went around and introduced myself to them) but kept trying to direct me to the room full of other gamers(males)


b) it was also her first time meeting some of his gamer friends as well despite being together for a few years. The girls(gf and her family and friends) did not mix with his male friends.

sure, we danced together, but not really any conversation. Everytime i make a male friend i always hit it off and end up becoming better friends with their gfs.
I guess my world was different to those other girls.

Highlight of the night was talking about metal gear and kanye with a moid and subway with another. I guess I should just accept that I am irrevocably damaged from my internet usage and to absolutely cherish what female friends I have( I really would love to have a girl friendship where I won't be tiers below their boyfriend)

No. 365085

Wtf. I said it because as a medfag women dress like you do here and usually behave like you do, we dont see anyone who looks flashy, tacky, etc or else they get ridiculed by professors.

No. 365091

Can someone please explain the mental processes here? Because this keeps happening to me:
>meet someone who shares common interests
>Invite them to engage in our hobbies together
>They respond enthusiastically
>Meet up at the specified time
>They actively resist participating until I drop the subject or they just sit and watch me do whatever alone

Every hobbyist friend I've ever had has done this to me. Everything from drawing, scrapbooking, sewing, baking, thrifting, to watching anime or even fucking jigsaw puzzles. I'd understand if they just canceled or said they weren't up for it anymore but they always just sit awkwardly and like, try to draw my attention away from whatever we were supposed to do. It's hard to explain, but it feels like they weren't expecting me to actually want to do it, and now they have to get me to give up without embarrassing me(?) by stating that outright. It's happened multiple times with at least 9 different friends so there's definitely something I'm not picking up on.

Posting in the nlog thread because my Nigel has a ton of hobbyist friends who come over and work on projects with him and if they ever "just want to talk" they go to the bar. None of this bait and switch bullshit I get from other women.

No. 365098

Damn, if someone asked me if I wanna join them to do some sewing with my own machine, provided they lived in my town, I'd set up a date and at least four hours aside for that stuff. I'm such a beginner that I would take any help I can get to finally get started on my fabric stash. Wish you were local to me, nonna.

I used to meet up with a regular group of crocheters/knitters in my area but because of work nowadays, I just don't feel energized after 6pm to go and commute for half an hour and then spend my evening at one of their places until 9pm when I know the next day I have to go to work again and I usually prepare my lunch the evening before, or I've had enough social contact with people (working a service job).
If I just wanna chat with em, or other friends, we meet up somewhere in town at a café or we even hike or take a walk somewhere.
While doing some crafts/projects you can still have discussions (I can talk fine while crocheting for instance), but some people are just not into the hobby to finish a project and more because it's wishful thinking to be able to do it yourself but they are afraid of messing up.

I don't know if you have any local courses for crafts, hobbies and stuff, but maybe if you signed up for a course where other people also signed up, you'd find people who share the same investment and who are going to commit to the idea of meeting up to do the thing, and chat a bit sure, but mainly to advance on the thing (whatever it might be).

No. 365101

I did join all the local craft groups but the nearby ones are pretty much dominated by boomers. There's one with a younger crowd, but like yours, it's a 45min commute on a weeknight and half the girls there think they're men. It seems like that's generally the trade-off for any craft group for young women though.

No. 365113

Reading this thread makes me extremely grateful that I became best friends with a girl who is just as autistic as me when we were in high school. I have zero ability to interact with normal women.

No. 365121

Why don't you ask them directly instead of asking here? My guess would be that they also wanted to talk and jumping straight into the activity without any deeper conversation rubbed them the wrong way.

No. 365248

The thing is I have asked a few times. They get irritated, deflect, say they're not feeling it today but they'll toooootally be up for it next time (they weren't). And in the case of more involved activities, they wouldn't bring supplies so they were never even planning on working on anything. I just don't understand. Idk man, I have trouble sitting still so I desperately want project friends but women with hobbies are increasingly rare. I'm just so tired of thinking I've found a kindred spirit only to be disappointed.

No. 365253

No I’d definitely be worse and more psychotic if I was a man. Also I’ve been in male friend groups and they’re annoying and shit on eachother all the time. I’ll take my chances as a woman.

No. 365292

My answer is totally different depending on if the button meant I'd have been male since birth, or if I just get transformed into one now. If since birth, then no, because I'd be a piece of shit like every other male. If current me could be transformed with all her knowledge in tact, then yes. Although, now that I think about it, that would mean I'd need to make male friends, and I couldn't deal with that as an internal woman. So I guess no.

No. 365296

I don’t even know where to start talking to other women normally. I’m not just a neet, I’m borderline hikikomori. I haven’t talked to an irl, non family girl since 2020, when I graduated high school. It’s not that I don’t make friends with women, I do online, but when it comes to socializing in person, I get so anxious that I’m physically sick

No. 365309

Early in my final year of high school one day I just.. couldn't conjure the energy to go to school anymore. I went for maybe 20 days spread out across the rest of the year.
I don't have friends anymore.
In 2021 I went to a 4chan soc meetup. Some people were nice but most of them were shitty people, there to get their dick wet, into really bad drugs, or all of the above. The good people were just nice to me in passing, they got along with each other much better than they got along with me. Someone told me that one girl who was nice to me had asked behind my back if I was non binary or something, I don't even know what that's about.
I was eventually excluded from those people and I'm not really sure why. I don't know where to meet friends.
There's something wrong with me socially but despite going to a therapist every week I haven't fixed it. I have been told that it seems like it could be covert narcissism and CPTSD, but not by her. I also seem to have OCD and definitely have ADHD. I have been told by several people that I am too negative and many people who have tolerated my presence for a while have grown tired of my negativity and ditched me. I don't want to be like this, I just genuinely struggle to think of anything positive to say ever, and even when I'm trying to be positive people tend to misunderstand me and think I'm complaining. I heavily relate to Karl Pilkington, sometimes you just want to moan about things and I don't get why so many people take issue with it or feel like I'm bringing the mood down. But I know I should probably stop, if I can. Tangentially, I also relate to his style of humour. I often make the sorts of "pretending I'm dumber than I am" jokes that he does on reflex and end up regretting it as I am ridiculed for laughs instead of people realising that what I said was intentional. I think most people I've tried to be entertaining around have come out of it thinking I'm some retarded bimbo.
The last women I was e-friends with:
- Russian lesbian who would disappear and reply weeks later. Bit of a cultural barrier and different sensibilities there, I feel like a perfectly normal russian woman would struggle socially here so while she was decent conversation I didn't exactly lose an opportunity to practice normal socialisation now that we don't really talk.
- Autistic ted kaczynski fan. Before I learned to just ignore politics I was talking in some politics discord and she started DMing me because she liked what I was saying. She definitely experienced what a lot of people here are talking about with being de-gendered due to her autism. She eventually deleted her account with no warning which I guess was bound to happen with someone obsessed with ted kaczynski.
- Older gamer woman. She offered to marry me into the US before she realised how much younger I was. I guess the fact that she even offered is proof I'm not completely detestable? But the MMO we played together was mostly men in our group and she let herself be put down by all the men especially the group admin who eventually banned me for sticking up for her, and she didn't make any effort to keep our friendship alive after I was removed from our shared gaming group.
- TiF who sends me pictures of their drawings. We don't talk that often because they mainly just reply when I start a conversation, and I don't draw that often so I feel awkward starting a conversation without any new art to show.
Generally, I am hated in online groups. Given how bad my self esteem is, you would think a meek and fragile person would be treated okay by most people, but every now and then I just get this urge to put my foot down hard about something and then people get really mad at me and I get really upset and wonder why I can't just try to blend in more.
I rarely partake in voice chats or seeing people in real life (last time was in 2021 but I used to do it a little more often) but people do seem to like me. I don't know how much of that is just me mirroring, though. Or would this be closer to masking? I remember being introduced to this girl who wasn't that similar to me but I had enough of a passing interest in all the things she was into that I unintentionally made her think we were into all the same shit, literally within 20 minutes of our first meeting each other she told me "sorry if this is weird, but I have a feeling we're going to be REALLY good friends."
Couple years later she ditched me because she went genderfluid and I said something insensitive. In retrospect I should not have tried to be adamant about asserting X or Y to be true, it wasn't worth her ghosting me over. I also ruined things with the person who introduced us by criticising her immature high school sweetheart who literally spends all day browsing /pol/ and playing europa universalis and hearts of iron and had to be convinced into being okay with the idea of having kids one day by her playing up the whole "repopulating the white race" bullshit and saying that a guy like that is just gonna hate being a father and make her a single mother.
I guess you could say that was extremely immature of me to say and I deserve being cut off. It's definitely not something I should have said out loud, and I valued her as a friend even if her bf was a shitlord. I genuinely don't understand how so many women out there are beautiful and talented and interesting and date people like that. I lurk 4chan discords and all the most toxic and horrible moids are married or in longterm relationships.
I need to meet people but I have no idea where. I had the idea to volunteer at a charity but I don't leave my home even to walk around the block, so I have no stamina. I figure something like drawing groups exist? But I can't imagine anything like that operating in my area without it being some expensive art class thing where the focus is the class you paid for and no one wants to be chatting and missing parts of this expensive class they paid for.
This doesn't make any sense to me. I would absolutely love to do hobbies like this with someone IRL.
I'm hikki too. Where are you getting these opportunities to socialise IRL?
I genuinely don't even get that anxious anymore around people despite rarely socialising, but I just fumble and make people hate me. I wish I had a friend who would see me for me and assume the best in what I say. I just don't even know where you'd meet anyone. Do people in their early 20s even do stuff outdoors anymore?

No. 365373

Personally, I would tell them to communicate directly with me, and if they still refuse to, I'd stop being friends with them. If they can't be mature enough to communicate with you then how can you actually maintain a lasting or meaningful friendship with them? Although it's not just a woman thing either, I find that men also act like this and it's infuriating. I immediately drop people who can't be bothered to communicate or vocalize their feelings, it's so juvenile and exhausting and I'd rather do things alone than deal with idiots like that. They can hang out with other emotionally stunted retards, not me.

No. 365515

>She eventually deleted her account with no warning which I guess was bound to happen with someone obsessed with ted kaczynski.

No. 371325

I dealt with this. I think being online helped me because people online can't see my appearance.

I haven't been in a relationship, ever, and I can't relate when women want to talk about it.

No. 375346

Ever since I have started working in an office, turbo normie women with happy relationships and young children want to be friends with me but I am a depressed loner who’s only social skills is being funny. Why do normies do this?

No. 375351

I wanna be your friend, please reply

No. 375353

Because its worth it to be friendly with the people you're forced to share space with daily. Just talk to people and ask them how their day, weekend etc. was.

When I started working in an office full of beautiful/normie women I too felt like an autistic weirdo who couldn't relate to anyone and I still have moments like that. But honestly the small mundane relationships I've built with my coworkers has enriched my life tremendously. Today one of my coworkers sent me a photo of her dachsund wearing a sweatshirt. That made me really happy

No. 375358

because you're probably nice to be around and being married and/or a mom makes it harder to make friends outside work or your already established social spheres. so they're just looking to be friendly towards people who are not shit to be around because they're extroverted and more friends = better. that's normal and it happens to me sometimes even though I'm a weirdo too. all my normie friends always treated me better than my weirdo friends and were fun to be around even though we didn't have that much in common and we just distanced ourselves because I moved/changed job or career/etc. meanwhile most of my friendships with other weirdos like me with similar interests ended in a toxic way. also sometimes normies have some different interests too, it's not all black and white. I had this normie friend from work and I thought she wasn't into videogames or anything like that because we hadn't talked about it at all, but when I visited her, she had mario kart on and we watched some horror movies. it's not that deep.

No. 375361

Video games and horror movies are normie…

No. 375374

Not if you're an adult normie woman who works.

No. 375375

I really hate how much the hatred for my appearance makes me too ashamed to talk to people. I wish i could get over it and not be aware of it. Some people are nice to me, but they don't want to get to know me or anything. The only time i am myself is when i am talking to people online. At least if people hate me online, it's not because of superficial things.

No. 375392

I'm not sure if I'll ever get this down. When I was a tween, I was bullied for being uncool, and I isolated myself a lot. They were teenyboppers, and had fancy phones and stuff.

I can't relate when women try to talk about their relationships.

No. 375412

File: 1706083508742.jpeg (129.02 KB, 497x481, IMG_0442.jpeg)

>>375346 here
Thanks for the replies

> all my normie friends always treated me better than my weirdo friends and were fun to be around even though we didn't have that much in common and we just distanced ourselves because I moved/changed job or career/etc. meanwhile most of my friendships with other weirdos like me with similar interests ended in a toxic way

I appreciate how are nice normies are. It’s refreshing to have friends who display healthy, predictable behaviour.
I don’t show it but I feel insecure and jealous around nice ‘normal’ women because they remind me of a happy life that I could have had if my mind wasn’t warped by childhood trauma. I wish I could afford some fancy ass non-talking therapy option to overcome my fear of getting close to others.

No. 375420

I could always make friends easily with guys but they always revealed they were coomers eventually so they probably just tolerated me because of my tits or whatever. One of the only woman I connected with in adulthood trooned out and started threatening my friends because she was a jealous bpdfag. I have one female friend and I love her, I love being able to talk and laugh about dumb shit and not feeling like there's something behind it all. I guess I should be grateful to have one but I miss being so oblivious that I thought my guy friends were actually interested in my personality. Making friends is so hard, my job and hobby groups are mostly women but they're all at least 10 years older than me. I feel alone.
You might feel like a complete tard doing this but there are helplines, I don't know where you're from but something should come up. They have helped me the few times I've called and all I had to pay was maybe 40 cents per minute. Hope you out of this rut nonnie.

No. 375421

>You might feel like a complete tard doing this but there are helplines, I don't know where you're from but something should come up. They have helped me the few times I've called and all I had to pay was maybe 40 cents per minute. Hope you out of this rut nonnie.

Thanks for the suggestion anon. Rest assured I’m not having a crisis (yet haha).

No. 376706

File: 1706755110978.jpg (37.67 KB, 372x372, jonkler.jpg)

I notice that people still tend to not notice my presense at first, and get scared once they notice me in the room. I am not sneaking up on people on purpose, so I suppose that sneaking around is something I do subconciously. Anyone else relate to this? It happens weekly, sometimes more. Its like I overestimate how aware others are thier surroundings.

No. 377634

What qualities cause a girl/woman to get along easier with males than other female peers? I've always had an easier time befriending boys/men, but I can't quite put my finger on why and it kind of bothers me. I mean, I have some male-dominated interests but still lean towards stereotypically female stuff, and it doesn't feel like it's a matter of having common ground but like in some way, I don't speak the same implied "language" as other women and they pick up on it? Like I feel like I have a "male style" of talking and can't match the "way" other women speak, but I don't know enough about linguistics or whatever to describe what feels different. Something about the way different sexes enunciate words and use their voice…??
Does anyone know what the hell I'm talking about? People also often think I have autism, officially I don't meet enough criteria to formally count as ASD but I meet more criteria than average and people notice.

No. 377651

Not being able to read cues or implied meanings is the main one. Needing to be asked to do things explicitly. Having a blunt communication style as well. Some of these are symptoms of autism but not all rectangles are squares. Also small things like how good you are at lying (I hate being asked appearance related questions for this reason), your sense of humor, your body language. Linguistically, how many qualifiers you use, (women infamously use just very frequently) what type of words you use as an insult (for example, idiot vs shithead). It can feel like a different language sometimes.

No. 377727

>third gender category
Why not just embrace this? On social media a sizeable number of weird bullied girls I know are now happy they/thems.(newfaggotry)

No. 377741

Insecurities. Not bc you necessarily view women as competition, but if you are scared of not being liked by other women, its easer to befriend men bc you dont care about their approval like you do with women.

No. 377748

This is general, but in my opinion, women tend to prefer more harmonious friendships while men tend to be blunt with each other and not care about each other's feelings. So along the same vein as >>377651 a female friend might ask about her appearance and implicitly want you to hype her up, while you may give her a brutally honest answer because you didn't read her properly. Or some men might rag on each other for their tastes in things, while some women may feel hurt and singled out if you do that to them. Basically, are you acting like you're on your female friends' side, or are you doing things to push them away?
I'm also talking a bit from experience here. When I didn't get along with other women, it's because I didn't feel they were very harmonious or cooperative with me and kinda acted like assholes. I also have to clarify, I don't mean harmonious in the sense that you never disagree, but more the fact that you know how to express different opinions without being a jerk about it.

No. 377884