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File: 1731656252065.jpg (41.31 KB, 800x533, rabbit-confused.jpg)

No. 444697

Previous Thread: >>393926

No. 444701

Around two months ago I reported one of my coworkers for time theft and ever since then she's been glaring at me whenever we happen to cross paths, and two weeks ago she tried to intimidate me. The intimidation was nothing big - I had my magnet placed for when I wanted to take lunch and immediately after I set it down she walked up to the board, moved it, placed hers and her friends above me, then afterwards stood in front of me, waiting for me to look at her, and then had this smarmy smile and let out a sigh while staring at me for another 7'ish seconds. It just seemed really juvenile, so I tried not let it get to me, but I find myself feeling stressed and uncomfortable whenever I happen to share a shift with her and am having to go out of my way to avoid her. Anyways, fast forward to today, while I was venting to a coworker about avoiding her, he said he doesn't blame me because he happened to see that incident. So I now have a witness and I have the option to report her, but I know the most HR will do is just give her a verbal warning. If things continue or progress, then she'll get written up, but she won't be let go until she has enough write-ups within a 6 month period (she's already been written up twice for time-theft and I don't think different write-ups stack on top of eachother). And apparently, I'm not the only one having issues with her, but my other coworkers haven't approached HR and one of my managers is seriously incompetent. Should I bother reporting her? I worry things will escalate once I do since she seems like a ghetto bitch. Or should I keep trying to ignore her?

No. 444709

>>444701
I hate people like her but why report a coworker for something that doesn't hurt you? You're just sucking up to your employer and it's not like you get a monetary bonus or more respect. You'll just be known as the narc. I don't know the whole situation though so I guess it's not my place to judge.

No. 444712

>>444709
>I hate people like her but why report a coworker for something that doesn't hurt you?
Reporting her for her behavior towards me or the time theft? The time theft is really unfair because whatever someone falls behind on, everyone else has to pick up the slack. And it's physical labor. As for reporting her behavior, she isn't physically threatening me, so you got a point there. It's just really annoying though and I wish I didn't have to deal with it.

No. 444722

>>444701
become the manager and write her up

No. 444830

I'm 22, and I was thinking about going to college. My main interest is in technology and computer science but I'm not too keen on working in a field that is 90% moids. I'm interested in science and the medical field too, but I'm not sure what specifically I want to major in. I know this is a very general question but can I get any advice?

No. 444846

Idk if I am losing my mind like a mental health issue or genuinely just disgusted but I am struggling to eat lately because I’ve seen stuff recently about parasitic worms in food and I feel nauseous 24/7 and feel like I’ve eaten worms and that I’m going to eat worms when I eat meat or vegetables or fruit but mostly meat and the only thing I feel safe eating is ultra processed food like chips or popcorn or white bread but then I feel afraid of eating mold so I’ve really barely been eating and just mostly drinking flavored water and hot tea and giving myself headaches and stomachaches. I used to struggle with Ed when I was a teen but I’m in my late 20s and feel sick thinking about worms in food what do I do genuinely. I don’t want to get locked in a loony bin as I’m a mom. I still feed my kids a good diet and make sure their food is cooked all the way and healthy but I cannot bring myself to eat right.

No. 444856

>>444830
Have you thought about biotechnology?

No. 444862

>>444856
I haven't thought about that, it definitely seems like something I'd be interested in but unfortunately the colleges in my state don't seem to offer it. The closest I've seen are biomedical engineering or chemical and biological engineering. Do you think that would be a good analogue or are there any other suggestions? Thank you

No. 444869

>>444862
Both of those options are pretty much the same thing as bioscience technology. I'd look into both of them, but what you pick greatly depends on what career interests you the most, whether you want to work in a lab for either testing or research or work in a manufacturing plant. There will be ample opportunities to work with different kinds of software and computers and do a lot of problem solving if that interests you. One piece of advice i'd give is make sure that if you do pick either options, ensure that they have a lot of lab classes that allow you to have hands on experience since it will be the most important thing you will need once to start looking for a job.

No. 444877

>>444869
I would probably prefer to work in a lab, it sounds like you have experience in this field if i'm not mistaken? If so, how is it?

No. 444883

>>444877
I have not graduated yet, but the instructor of the course has a lot of experience in the field and was very helpful telling us everything that we needed to know to get a job. Former students stated that the program he runs was good specifically because he focuses heavily on practical work and it gave them a leg up over people who took something like microbiology as an example. I won't be working in the field until another couple of months when i graduate. I personally prefer lab stuff also, i find it very engaging and i seem to be doing decent with it after years at flopping other stuff lmao. But i hope i helped and good luck!

No. 444885

>>444883
Thank you!

No. 444887

>>444830
Not picking a field because its "full of moids" is incredibly retarded and immature, especially when CS is broadly useful for everyone for many reasons hobbywise and job ready wise but especially STEM majors who need to crunch large sums of data. Women opting out of CS because of vapid reasons like this is the reason why its "full of moids" in the first place. If your interests and passion lie in computer science and molecular biology try pursuing bioinformatics/data-science, computational biology or double majoring in CS and a molecular course.

Biotechnology is very practical and industry based, if you're not interested in practical technologies or fields like immunology, vaccine production, applied biomedical science, antibiotic production or drug manufacturing don't do it and do something more theory based like molecular biology or biochemistry. You wouldn't recommend someone interested in data structures and algorithms to become a software engineer over a CS major likewise. It depends on where your interests in inter disciplinary fields of STEM lie and that will develop as you develop preferences from the courses you do. Like immunology/genetics/cancer biology, biochemistry metabolism/proteomics/apoptosis. I found the practical applications of biotech industry shit tier. Producing ozempic and viagra because they're more financially valuable over antibiotics that fight MRSA and cancer drugs is not inspirational. Also if you're serious about CS learn python and look into R/R studio, you don't have to master either, just familiarize yourself with industry tools.

No. 444891

If I'm very dissatisfied at my current job and trying to find another one, but they milk me 5 days a week, how tf am I gonna find the time and effort to find another job while working there, and do it sly? If I change my availability they're going to suspect something is up, and I'm not great at keeping secrets. But the job is quite literally giving me burnout so bad I'm afraid I'll have another mental break. I just don't really want to deal with unemployment again. That's even more suicide inducing. It took 7 months to find a job the last time. How do I find a work life balance trying to find another job to improve my life when work won't lemme have a life?

No. 444904

>>444891
Call in sick or just tell them you're not available, what are they gonna do? Fire you? If they need you so badly 5 days a week they won't be able to. Also who cares if they suspect something is up? It's not illegal to job hunt.

No. 444970

How do I get a moid friend to stop talking to me in a nice way? I don't hate him at all and I don't want to hurt him but I'm worried about him catching feelings, especially because we both have the same ethnic background and that alone makes him much more interested in me. He gives off the vibes that he'd want to marry someone from the same religion (I'm not but he doesn't know that kek) and background. It sucks because I wanted to keep him as a friend and he's genuinely a nice person but I can't trust moid 'friends' anymore. Why I suspect he might be interested
>sends me atleast 10 tiktoks a day. I haven't opened them in months but he still sends them
>keeps trying to get me into his hobbies
>has hinted multiple times at us working together in a different country (one that I'm trying to get away from kek)
>keeps asking questions about my country,language, culture
>keeps joking about moving close to me
>is actively learning the language and keeps asking for help from me
>wants to call alot
>a lot of 'lovey' emojis
Typing it out makes it seems like he's just a very close friend but my gut feeling is telling me that he's playing the long game. I'm so scared nonnas pls help kek I hope I don't sound like a complete schizo. I've been trying to keep my responses very short and vague but he still keeps going. What do?

No. 444975

>>444970
He's absolutely already caught feelings. Is this an online friend or?

No. 444980

>>444970
>Typing it out makes it seems like he's just a very close friend
Are you fucking serious? You're clearly his oneitis. Whatever you do he will act like a retard about it, either exploding with anger at your face or becoming a sad little mop (high chance he plays victim and shit talks about you to everyone he knows). Or even worse, he will not drop his feelings and insist on you for months. If you've been trying to keep things calm and neutral and he still didn't get a clue he must have very low emotional intelligence and a lack of respect for you (never realising he's being a nuisance). Terrible situation

No. 444990

Recently, I left a learning environment where I felt dismissed, ostracized, and belittled. How do you nonnies deal with ruminating thoughts in general? I try distracting myself with activities, but it’s always in the back of my mind. As soon as I wake up, it’s there. The only time I don’t think about all of the events leading to me quitting is when I’m asleep. This has been going on for a month and a half, and I feel like I’m losing my mind. It's bordering on suicidal ideation.
I feel like I can never fit in most learning or working environments, and this has taken a huge toll on my self-esteem. I thought I could get a job after it and tried so hard to be social, but it went horribly.

No. 444991

>>444970
lie and tell him you found a boyfriend and see how he reacts. or just tell him you have a crush on a guy. he'll flip.

No. 444992

>>444990
emdr therapy

No. 444997

>>444975
>>444980
Well fuck, thank you for confirming my suspicions atleast. And yes he is an online friend but I know him from mutual friends who have met him IRL, so I can't block him. I don't think he'd do any of these things but he's a moid so who knows. I never hinted at being interested in him at all, and have been actively dodging any activites/calls that don't include any of our friends in them even before I started worrying about this. This sucks so much why do moids ruin everything he would've been a genuinely really good friend otherwise
>>444991
Yeah I'm probably going to do that soon. I do have a crush on someone so I wouldn't be lying if I bring it up anyways.

No. 445007

>>444997
Tell him you’re not his same religion and you want to move to a different country than he does, like just be more honest if you want him to be your friend. He can get over his crush he probably had and be normal enough not to make the friend group weird. You don’t talk about him like you want him as a friend so it’s no great loss honestly but if you want to avoid drama then be more blunt with him and give him “the ick”, stop letting him believe those things about you you said in your earlier post. Not like it’s your fault if he has the wrong idea but I’m confused why you haven’t corrected him but you know he thinks those things and you want him as a friend…?

No. 445017

>>445007
I'm not in the same religion because I left it a while after we first talked. I keep it a secret from everyone I know because it could put me in danger if a family member find out. It is also the reason why I don't want to move to the country that he wants to move to. I have stopped sharing my thoughts on these things ever since though but I think I have to find a way to make him forget about it
>You don’t talk about him like you want him as a friend so it’s no great loss
To be honest yeah I don't, not anymore. The possibilty of him having feelings for me completely put me off him and the idea of having male friends at all. If he doesn't then that would make me a shitty friend I guess, but I'd rather that than possibly leading him on more. I just have to find a way to make him let go

No. 445024

i don't do anything. i want to pursue my hobbies but i just don't. i feel like an empty shell of a person who does nothing all day. i am a NEET too. i just dont know how to start, i am overcome with inertia all day every day and idk why. i just spend my day browsing online and doing a couple chores / cooking meals. its embarrassing to feel like a fake nothing person.;

No. 445030

>>445024
Schedule small activities that involve your hobbies and give yourself a reward afterwards. For example, if you want to take up creative writing you should dedicate 30 mins in the afternoon to do so, then treat yourself a cup of tea and a cookie. Decluttering, tidying and cleaning your home helps you feel comfortable and focused as well. Try to find the best place for your desk or use a designated area for your hobbies, you could put all the stuff you use there. Create a good atmosphere that enhances productivity and creativity.

No. 445061

>>444887
I probably could've explained myself a little better, my bad. I was in a bit of a rush at the time. There's more to it than that, I've worked in tech before and I didn't find it very engaging. My last job was full of moids and it was awful.

No. 445062

>>445030
thank you nonna you really helped me understand what i was already suspecting, i'm going to follow all of your advice

No. 445083

>>444970
>Typing it out makes it seem like he's just a very close friend
No, I think you're gut feeling is right. If I were you, I'd throw in a sly comment about having a "bf" or seeing a chad lol. If his feelings are truly platonic, he'd still talk to you normally, but I highly highly doubt that's the case. Also, just remember: you don't owe this guy anything. So whatever you do, don't feel bad or guilty.

No. 445362

Would it be considered okay to block someone without first explaining to them why you're deciding to block them?

I'm not gonna go into much detail because I don't think it'd be neccessary, but TL;DR: blocked a person who has threatened me with violence and told me to commit suicide even though they apologized and we have hung out and conversed normally via text after that.

No. 445378

>>445362
Nona just get rid of this person, they sound insane

No. 445415

>>444846
I know it's been a few days but I hope you know that because you think about it, it makes you nauseous. I definitely understand a healthy amount of concern about parasites when its' context specific, but if you're just reading things about parasites in food and you have nothing recent and close to you that backs up your fears it reads more like rumination or neuroticism like OCD type thinking. Your kids need you to be healthy! And you aren't crazy, it's the thought pattern that's crazy.

No. 445418

How do I study?

No. 445444

>>445378
I agree with you and that's pretty much what I did since I blocked them everywhere. After that I started feeling like maybe I should have sent an explanation before blocking them, but I'm starting to think I don't really owe them an explanation

No. 445451

>>445418
What worked for me.
Put on music set a time for 1 hour after the hour, take a 20 mins break and repeat.
Get a comfy position that is set up write.

Or simply go to a library/ cafe. It can the be the perfect atmosphere to study.

No. 445546

>>445418
What's keeping you from it now?

No. 445548

>>445546
Poor technique. I don't have structure or instructions

No. 445579

How would you approach your boyfriend's mother to tell her she needs to wash the dishes better? The dishes end up being greasy and just so disgusting to touch. She lives with us for the time being.

No. 445581

>>445579
How old is she? This started happening to my grandmother when she started going blind because of cataracts and developing Alzheimer's. Best case scenario she needs to get her vision checked.

No. 445618

File: 1732061718073.jpg (150.1 KB, 1080x669, Screenshot_20241113_114802_Ins…)

have any of you nonnies had a stalker? an ex friend of mine is starting to really creep me out. she's notorious for being a complete psychopath with no empathy and gets a kick out of bullying people with her gf. I cut her off after getting tired of her behavior towards me and her other ex friends. she made burner accounts to stalk me and would scroll back through my posts and like ones where I was obviously going through a bad time which was so odd kek, she's recently started trying to get to me through my friends (attempting to follow them, claiming to know them personally when asked by third parties etc). it's so weird and desperate. I feel like I just need to keep ignoring it because if I react to it by blocking she'll probably get more enjoyment out of it, but I'm getting so tired. I'm naturally an anxious person and I need to be more thick skinned over weird behavior but idk how.

No. 445636

>>445362
you never need a reason and you never need to explain yourself (least of all when they’re literally insane) you can block whoever you want at any time. Free yourself

No. 445661

>>445579
I'd let your boyfriend tell her, it's probably a little easier to hear it from him.

No. 445680

>>445636
Thank you. I don't feel guilty about this anymore, although I shouldn't have felt that way in the first place

No. 445737

>>445581
She's 60, or maybe 61. She wears glasses but not on the daily. It's her technique that's terrible imho.
>Fills sink with water and 2-3 pumps of soap
>Let's them soak for whatever time
>Barely goes over them with sponge
>Puts em on rack
Literally, things that shouldn't be dirty/greasy end up greasy. A cup that was used for water becomes so greasy my hands are gross.
>>445661
I was trying to prevent this cause she's just so emotional that she gets upset easily, but it's so annoying have to wash things again/put in dishwasher.

No. 445750

I know not a single person on this website will tell me to apologize to a moid. But I’m pretty sure I did what zoomers call ‘BPD demon shit’ to a man who partially ghosted me around when I was 21-25 it mellowed out into me just being angry, snarky, and pretty fucking rude to him every time we spoke.
I had been acting this way because I was deeply infatuated with this man and I’m not gonna lie I acted pretty pathetically. I’ve been working on myself for the past half year and am pretty ashamed of how I acted. Should I bother apologizing for how I was behaving or is it better to just move on even if a situation comes up where it’s appropriate for an apology .
I don’t see him often but would like to get myself and most of my thoughts together for the next time I do run into him.

No. 445753

>>445750
Just let it go.

No. 445779

File: 1732142223921.gif (2 MB, 266x200, gun-to-head-nodding.gif)

My life is going fine, but I still have suicide thoughts. I feel like I have to die, but I'm not sure why. My friend has mental health problems, and she told me today that she wishes she had my level of composure. I'm in a similar situation to her, but I don't show it. Since I still believe I should die regardless, I am ashamed and don't want to get help.

No. 445913

>>445779
Don't feel ashamed. I think you should seek help, there are ways to get out of that mindset.

No. 445937

>>445750
Are you expecting to get something out of him? If not what's the point in apologizing. You think he'll care about you or have a better opinion of you? Cause he won't. He's a moid, he doesn't feel empathy in the same way you do.

No. 445980

File: 1732243094106.jpg (19.91 KB, 348x342, 7ed42820271eca3913a7916d0146c0…)

Posting here since I don't want the husbando thread to hear my autism.
Should I divorce my husbando because he's Jewish or at least has a Jewish last name? My husbando's last name ends with -mann. I am pro Palestine and have an aversion to Jewish men as I do with men of Abrahamic faiths in general because their views on women are abhorrent.. Should I divorce him? I really love him to death but I cannot support a fictional moid who follows a religion of the big three of misogyny.

No. 445981

>>445980
>"I have an aversion to Jewish men"
>Is sexually attracted to a Jew

Nona just fucking dump his ass.

No. 445983

>>445779
The keyword here is "fine." You're not describing your life with a word associated with genuine satisfaction; you clearly think that your life is mediocre or potentially worse. You need to think deeply about what is happening in your life currently that makes you want to die since it's not something obvious. Find it and eliminate it.

No. 445984

>>445981
Here’s the thing though, I didn’t know he was “jewish” until way after I husbando’d him. His last name is technically German, and that was probably part of the creators vision rather than intentionally making him Jewish, even though practically everyone with his last name is a jew. He also has many characteristics associated with stereotypically Jewish characters but since it’s from a Japanese media I’m not that worried.

No. 445986

>>445984
Considering how similar he already is to a Jew I don't really see why you would have an interest in him…. If you don't like Jewish men then why are men that are essentially Jewish adjacent acceptable? I guess I'd just say that if he annoys you enough, leave. But if he doesn't then stay. Personally though, I would have left

No. 445987

>>445981
>>445983
>>445986
That anon is talking about a fictional character, it's not a real husband kek

No. 445993

>>445987
I'm aware, I know what waifu and husbando means. Was just playing into it

No. 446005

>>445980
>Pro palestina
>Aversion to Abrahamic religions
Isn't the majority of Palestines Islamic which is an Abrahamic religion aswell?

Anyway fictional characters are just that, if you decide the guy in the drawing is an atheist, he's now an atheist. You've got an active enough imagination to fantasize about a fictional character being your lover so why not use that same imagination to change some things about it that you don't like?

No. 446006

i hate myself so much. ever since i was like 13 or so, i accidentally came across porn and i didn't looked at it until a couple of years later. i watched it sporadically over the years but then forced myself to quit and did a great job for what felt like forever. but then like several months ago, i guess because i am no longer in a social space that is very anti-porn and such, that i slowly fell back into the habit. i don't look at real people stuff, i look up those gross rule 34 or hentai stuff, but i don't want to do it anymore. i'm fighting the urge to do it now as we speak and it disgusts me that i'm even thinking about it. if anyone also had to stop a porn addiction, what helped you stick through it?

No. 446027

>>445980
Is that Levi?

No. 446059

>>446006
having real sex cured me

No. 446060

>>445983
>Find it and eliminate it.
nona… think about what you're saying.

No. 446073

>>445980
This absolutely belongs in the husbando thread. It is the only thread nearly autistic enough to handle this… situation

No. 446099

>>445980
Weird bait

No. 446124

>>446060
I don't mean to eliminate it in the traditional connotation of killing whatever it is that's causing her to be unhappy, but instead "eliminate" as in removing it from your life through whatever means that would be. I haven't met the proper medical criteria to be "depressed" since I was 16. With modern medicine, a change in perspective, and getting rid of the major thing(s) that are causing you to be so depressed you can turn your life around and eliminate tunnel vision and/or suicidal thoughts. Do YOU have any advice for her, Nona?

No. 446265

i have been consuming more than a half pint of liquor a day, as well as the equivalent of half of a 12" pizza per day, maybe i have frozen pancakes as well, but that's where I'm at on average
how do i stop this vicious cycle of pizza and liquor consumption

No. 446280

>>445980
KEK nonny…
I hate religious moids in general, and I have a husbando who is canonically an American of Jewish origin. This means his dick is 10000% cut, which is disappointing as fuck. I don't care, though, because he's not real and I can imagine that his dick looks nice despite the circumcision. I also don't care politically, because he is from a franchise where the Palestine conflict isn't relevant, so there's no way for him to have an opinion on it. Even if he did have political views that I find aborrhent, I wouldn't mind that much because it's his creator's fault and since he's fictional he can't hurt anyone.
Just headcanon your husbando as siding with you if you tell him about it, and not practicing Judaism or being religious at all. If none of that is relevant in his source material, there's nothing stopping you from doing this.

No. 446338

how do you deal with situations where someones being overtly rude/direspectful/crass towards you in any way? basically what i want to know is how to deal with those situations with grace. i almost always (99% of the time) bite my tongue and ignore it, but i'm afraid if i get the nerve to speak up for myself i'll say something that they want me to say, where i'll be passive aggressive, plain agressive or essentially accepting their invitation for conflict. i hate conflict so that's the main reason why i bite my tongue when people are assholes to me but it feels like that just allows them to keep doing it. but i also feeling giving them any reaction at all is fueling the fire.
do nonas have suggestions on ways to handle assholes with grace to make them feel like shit without resorting to rude remarks?

No. 446418

>>446124
I've been doing that for the past few days and while I do have latent reasons that might be fueling my depression, my head keeps telling me it's time to die. I know it's related to my BDD, low self esteem, and feeling like life will become a repetitive hell after a while so might as well die. I'm thinking of hurting myself soon but I'm probably not gonna go through with it.

No. 446452

How do I gain social self-awareness and become a better judge of how people feel about me? I said something awkward and kind of rude to someone the other day and now I feel like I can't tell if they hate me or not. I recorded myself talking but realized I'm super fidgety and look away often. I'm not sure if I'm autistic and I don't know if a diagnosis would help. I feel like I'm especially retarded when it comes to handling conflict, my heart starts pounding and I either escalate or try to avoid it at all costs. How do I stop getting scared by conflict?

No. 446458

>>446265
Get it out of your vicinity

No. 446461

>>446338
A really effective and simple way to reassert control over a situation like that is to hold eye contact and ask them to repeat what they said. It makes 99% of people uncomfortable and they will remember that feeling and not speak to you in the same way again. Also as long as you say it in an assertive tone not an "umm uhh" whisper, "please don't speak to me like that" can work as well. It's important to sound confident otherwise you will look insecure and like you are begging. Just put act as if their behavior is embarrassing and juvenile, which it is, and they'll likely stop. Shame is a good motivator.

No. 446498

I met this girl a year ago at a music festival abroad, I'm the one who went up to chat with her because I've seen her at some concerts in my city, we instantly clicked because we had a lot in common and we spent the two days together talking and getting to know each other. We exchanged social medias and she sent a message on Facebook, and of course I had to fuck it up by not answering out of anxiety. It's been eating me up since then, I'm so sick of fumbling potential friendships due to my retardness. She's going to a concert tomorrow I'm going to as well, should I send her a message saying sorry and that I wish to talk with her? It's not like she was mu best friend of 10 years I suddenly ghosted, and she's liked some of my posts since then, I hope she doesn't have hard feelings.

No. 446505

>>446498
Just say sorry that you were busy at the time and forgot to respond in time and felt awkward doing it later, and that you are also going to the concert and you'd love to catch up there if she's up for it

No. 446508

>>446461
AYRT, great advice nona, thank you very much. i could have never thought of this on my own and it sounds very effective.

No. 446512

Nonas, I am extremely drunk and scared and I need desperate advice right now. I just got back from a man's house where I got extremely drunk. It was a first date with an acquaintance where after the date at the bar I asked to go back to his house because against my better judgement I thought it might be nice to have sex again with a moid. At his place I got VERY drunk while he didn't drink at all, and i sucked his dick and we fooled around. I asked if he wanted to go get condoms to have sex and honestly I don't remember much besides talking about the boundaries and logistics about a fwb relationship if we had sex and he eventually decided no he didn't want to have sex yet and we should wait. We fooled around some more and then next thing I remember his attitude suddenly shifted and he's telling me he wants to be alone and I tell him I'm too drunk to drive and need a few hours to sober up and maybe sleep. He gets really angry and tells me staying the night was not part of the arrangement and he wanted to be alone now, even though he watched me get very drunk beforehand, and tells me I am having an attitude now. I was really drunk and confused and told him I didn't understand what was happening and started crying. I ask him to just drive me home and I can have a friend drive me to my car tomorrow. He drives me home and acts extremely angry with me the whole way, even gets angry when I start crying in the car again because of the entire vibe shift and my overall confusion. In front of my house when he drops me off I tell him he's an assole and ask what his problem is again and he tells me I was being pushy about sex and that's what made his vibe shift, and that he was angry I got so drunk at his house when spending the night wasn't the agreed upon arrangement. Maybe I'm just too autistic to figure this out but I really felt I was matching his vibe sexually and I just offered that I would still fuck him that night, and it seemed like it wasn't a problem how drunk i was getting before I sucked his dick. Keep in mind again, he did not drink at all but I did.

I am extremely worried now that I did something wrong and I am a horrible person who genuinely misread things and tried to pressure him and that I am morally wrong and no better than some rapey scrote. I am home alone now and still really drunk and freaking out. Besides going to get my car tomorrow and never talking to him again, what the fuck do I do nonas?

No. 446522

>>446512
Nonnie I hope you drank some water and are asleep by now. Don't worry, it sounds like he was being a dick to you, not the other way around. Obviously I wasn't there and don't know the situation, but if I had to deal with a drunk acquaintance/fwb I wouldn't make a problem out of having them stay over and talking everything out later when we're both sober. Especially since you made it clear you didn't understand what was going on he should have been kinder to you.
Next time, don't get too drunk like this, it makes it too easy to get taken advantage of and put in dangerous situations. But don't beat yourself up over tonight either, shit happens and hopefully this'll teach you not to be so careless again.

No. 446533

>>446512
In my experience, some men really REALLY dislike it when girls come off “slutty” or just want a hook up. One time I had a moid get upset because I seemed “really experienced” kek. We still finished but afterwards he was cold and never texted me again. I made myself pretty clear that I just wanted a FWB situation when we got together but he still got all pissy. These type of men are usually really possessive/jealous/selfish. It’s probably a good idea you stay away from him.

No. 446535

>>446522

Hey anon, thank you so much for the kind words. Yea, I sobered up and napped a little bit and I've realized that this guy was absolutely being a dickhead. The amount I was drinking, that he watched me drink, was not a problem when he still wanted me to suck his dick, but when he suddenly decides he's too tired and not horny anymore it's a big problem and he needs me to sober up right away and leave. I would never do that to somebody who was so drunk they were confused about what was happening, especially since he had all the power in this situation being the man, the sober one, and in his own home. I think he just said whatever he needed to at the time to shift the blame and power away from himself and try to make me feel guilty.

This was the final reminder that I should not be dating or sleeping with men. I thought I could make an exception tonight, but reality immediately came back and bitchslapped me right in the face. I will be okay.

No. 446539

I've never had sex before, but I want to and will soon have the opportunity to. Basically, what is the best way to make sure I don't get pregnant? My sex ed health class was shit and also it's been a decade since I was in high school so I barely remember anything.

No. 446540

>>446505
Yeah that's what a friend told me too, I just hope she won't be weirded out.

No. 446545

>>446539
The stupid questions thread is in /ot/

No. 446598

>>446539
Are you stupid?

No. 446627

Sorry for late response. I'm >>445980
>>445986
I wasn't aware of their laundry list of stereotypes Jews had until way after, and how someone explained to me how he is "coincidentally" based off an antisemitic archetype.
>>446005
Yes, I have a distain for Islam but I don't think Palestinians and Lebanese people should be bombed and terrorized by Israel.
>Anyway fictional characters are just that, if you decide the guy in the drawing is an atheist, he's now an atheist. You've got an active enough imagination to fantasize about a fictional character being your lover so why not use that same imagination to change some things about it that you don't like?
Kek true.
>>446027
No lol
>>446073
I don't want to taint the thread with my advanced autism.
>>446280
Who's your husbando? That's pretty funny and specific. I personally prefer cut dicks and I'm an American so in my eyes he'll always be circumcised, regardless of religion. My husbando's ideology seems to denounce religion as a whole, but Jew wanting to bring disorder to the world is also a common stereotype.

No. 446631

i recently got diagnosed rheumatoid arthritis, im only 21 thankfully my parents are super cool with me taking as much as time as i need to get treated fully, but i feel like such a damn loser. I ALREADY took a gap year because i got sick (mono), I have done two years of school but my last semester was complete shit because i felt so bad from RA. I feel so behind already and also feel like such a little bitch for not being strong enough to like locking in and do well in school. idk any autoimmune nonnies with words of encouragement lol?

No. 446656

Nonas I am crying
I am just 23 almost 24 and I havent been sleeping properly for the last 6 years, I look older. AI sites say I look either 24 or 30.

I ruined my life, right? Is there any way to reverse it? I look pale, gaunt.

No. 446694

>>446656
Your lack of sleep is making you overly emotional. Figure out why you don't sleep enough and fix it.

No. 446697

>>446452
It might help you to feel prepared. Read books or watch youtube videos on handling conflicts and think about how you would apply that knowledge to previous experiences.

No. 446698

>>446656
You might want to see a sleep disorder specialist, some person I know saw a specialist for a while and it was found out that person's quality of sleep was terrible, the person was prescribed something like zolpidem and venlafaxine to treat at least some of those sleep problems. Zolpidem in particular seems to be effective in promoting restful sleep at night, let's say 4 hours of good sleep for half a capsule.

No. 446725

>>446508
It is effective if you have the slightest modicum of self-respect, but I guess some people are just easy targets - hence the need to be so hostile on an imageboard to someone who is trying to help you. Overcompensating for insecurity, I suppose…

No. 446780

>>446725
i seriously have absolutely no idea what hostility you're referring to, what are you even saying? i was being sincere, if i didn't need help i wouldn't have asked for it. what are you even on about? if you're the same anon who gave me the advice i was thanking you for giving it

No. 446914

How do you cope knowing you have bad friends that you don't mesh with? I wish I could make new ones but no luck. I really want to block these people out of my life, and been wanting to for years now, but if I do I will be alone.

No. 446921

>>446914
If it's only making you miserable then it's worth it in the end to cut them off. You will feel more free. That's how I coped.
If it's not making you miserable then I'm not sure. I guess knowing you have people to spend time with and numb a few hours could do.
If I could go back, I would cope by changing my mindset on how I viewed my friends. I'd think of them more as disposable people and not put too much value into what was said when I went out with them. Focus more into stuff for myself and try to establish connections with other people who I felt reciprocated the friendship.

No. 446993

File: 1732724401151.gif (1.49 MB, 498x498, 1000011755.gif)

I have a very bad habit to ruminate on all kinds of things that have affected me negatively, even incredibly minor things.

I've been to therapy and it did help, but it did not make me any less prone to dwell on things that make me unhappy. I honestly have no idea what would help

No. 446994

>>446993
What helped me is telling myself to stop being a pussy and to willfully move the fuck on and distract myself. I'm not being rude and sorry if it comes off that way, but I genuinely mean it. Treating my thoughts as a child and sternly telling myself "oh well, it's okay to be embarrassed/feel bad, but now we are going to focus on this instead" "this" being something that is a more productive use of your thoughts, etc. It takes time, but it is a skill and like all skills you will be able to hone it with ample practice.

No. 447008

>>446994
Literally this. I sometimes get caught up in stuff that happened in the past or weird things that I’m embarrassed about that happened. And when I feel like I’m about to obsess over it, I tell myself to get the fuck over it cause no one else remembers that shit except you. It’s out of your control what happened then, focus on now. I also don’t want to give abusive moids control over me/live rent free in my head, despite them no longer being in my life.
I try to keep my brain busy as to not spiral into past trauma or dumb shit. Husbando-ing and picking up a new language was really helpful. Sorry if that sounds super gay.

No. 447018

I'm a horrible friend, I need advice with improving my interpersonal skills
>I suck at respecting boundaries, either I don't even realize when they're set up, I don't realize how serious they are or I straight up forget about them, especially when I'm very upset
>I feel like I'm too short tempered and an ex friend told me he feels like he has to walk on eggshells around me, I feel like I take everything too seriously
>I have a victim complex and I don't know how to go about getting rid of it, it's embarrassing whenever I catch myself feeling like a victim or trying to blame everything but myself for my own mistakes
>I have creepy and obsessive habits I struggle to shake off
I hope it's not too late to change my ways and become a better person

No. 447019

>>447018
This just sounds like you're immature.

No. 447022

How do you know if a guy likes you and doesn’t understand your flirtation as such or isn’t attracted and hates you? I’m autistic and I thought I knew how to flirt (jokes, gentle comments) but I guess not. I’m obsessed with this hot guy at work (single btw), everything he does makes me want to dominate him and tease the hell out of him but I cant. He has strong adhd/autistic energy and a general sense of retarded chaos, which attracts me to him, but when I talk to him he doesn’t really respond to my jokes. For example, he said once that he doesn’t wear his glasses much because he thinks he looks bad in them, I said “oh, I get you, I think that about mine too” and complimented the way he looks in them , and he sorta muttered and looked away. I want to talk to him in the office more but I always look stressed and badly styled, and I feel like a weird freak talking to him when he’s in the kitchen. What do I do???

No. 447027

I’m transferring colleges and I have to pay 1,500$ out of pocket. I’m only making 12.60$ an hour at my seasonal job build a bear, kek i’m terrible at saving money, the most money i’ve ever saved is about 900$ and that was to go to a fucking supernatural convention. i know i have a year but i’m afraid i won’t make that money up. parents don’t wanna pay for it so any advice on saving large sums of money?

No. 447030

>>447027
Set your bank account to auto-transferring 150$ a month to your savings account, the day of or after payday. 150 a month gives you a two month leeway.

You also only need to work 120 hours (assuming it's 12.60 nett), which is only 10 hours a month. Just think about it like this: The first 10 hour I work this month are for saving, the rest are for living expenses/hobbies etc.

No. 447114

Nonnies, this is a serious matter. I am taking a gap year for 1 year and I need advice.
If you were in my shoes, what would you spend time doing? I need hobby ideas, learning, something like that not to waste my time.

No. 447130

>>447114
working on mental health issues because that's what would have caused me to stop studies if I had decided to commit to them

No. 447250

>>447114
>exercise and regular scheduled walks/time in nature
>journaling/meditation/breathing exercises
>set short-term and medium-term goals for things you want to achieve in the gap year/per gap "semester"
>evaluate what causes led you to take a gap year and anything you can troubleshoot them with

No. 447251

>>447114
Think about thinks that would look good on your resume, skills in certain software for example.

No. 447271

>>447114
Travel, even if it's just for a few days to a week, to another country. Your hobby might become travel planning for a while. Better yet, you can try out something that will give you a boost on your CV, like a work and travel program like workaway or WWOOF. Just go with someone else if you can, these programs are easy for traffickers to look for prey on. Be careful about it y'know.

No. 447371

>>447018
It's not too late anon. The fact that you're aware of how you come across is huge - a lot of people who have this problem refuse to acknowledge it and can't seem to break free from their self-imposed chains. I think it's difficult to suggest one thing. My dinosaur ass would straight up break down what you're concerned about and google endlessly about each thing until you find something like a support group, applied therapy (not talk therapy) or a self-help book (yes it sounds corny, but they do work)
>learn how to respect boundaries
>learn how to not always feel like a victim
>learn how to not take things so seriously
>learn how to control temper
these queries will probably lead you to places where you can forgive yourself for what you've done, grieve what or whoever may have contributed to the way you are now, find a point to jump onto, and start chipping away at the negative parts of yourself to make room for new things. I really do wish you the best anon.

No. 447556

I need some dating app advice.
I am in my late 30s and have only used one app around 8 years ago.
I have been single for a few months, and I’m pretty sure all dating apps now are utter garbage. I’m not looking for a relationship, but I’m not just looking to sleep around either. I’m a UKanon, please any fellow britbongs; what is the best app, which ones should I avoid like the plague, and what ones are worth paying for?

No. 447590

My moid manager motioned me over to look at samples the other day and started moidsplaining the most basic ass concept in our field meanwhile this moid contractor overhears and asks whether I'm a student, when I confirm I'm not my own manager says "they don't teach them this stuff anymore" and the other moid further disrespects me by moidsplaining an even dumber concept followed by "did they teach you this AT LEAST?" at no point during his initial 20 minute malesplanation did he bother to ask whether I knew this already.

Should I tell him what he did hurt me? he's leaving for good in a couple of weeks and I've been giving him the ice cold treatment and he noticed. I don't know if I can keep pretending it's fine when I have to work with him everyday

No. 447822

Moid housemate is being stubborn and refuses to clean or help out in any way. He wants me out of what he sees as ‘his’ house (we both rent but he was here first) and I’d gladly do so but I earn minimum wage, and wouldn’t be able to survive if I paid more than I do now. Examples of how he makes life miserable include: leaving dirty empty jars of yoghurt around so they gather flies, not taking food bins out, purposefully not letting maintenance guys in to fix stuff, ignoring delivery men (so packages get wet or stolen), using up all of the hot water so I can’t even shower when I’m home from work, playing anime shite at 400% volume on weekday nights when I’m trying to sleep, taking all of the cupboard and fridge space with rotting food and above all blaming me for everything. I have a full time job and study on top of that, I’m exhausted every day from masking at work and cramming for exams, and with the hot water and general state of the place I can’t even relax at home. I was so angry this week I wanted to kill the fucker. How do I make his life as miserable as he’s made mine?

No. 447823

>>447822
Samefag because inb4 “have you tried talking to him?” yes, many times - and the only progress in this house was made by me. He whines and moans about everything but refuses to change, he’s an annoying scrote with the passive aggression of a middle class mum.

No. 447825

>>447590
a couple of weeks sucks but is nothing, i wouldn't do anything

No. 447826

>>447822
this man is abusing you because he knows you can't leave. him fucking with your ability to sleep and making unsanity conditions is definitely abusive, sleep is crucial for our health. you need to plan on moving out.

No. 447882

I work a stocking job that makes me low energy and extremely hungry at home. I'm now a fat sluggish fuck who's having trouble keeping up with her hobbies and dressing in sweats because I don't feel like trying to look good as a fat ass.

Where do I even start to unfuck this?

No. 447897

>>447822
Ultimately look for new places to rent, but in the interim get earplugs to help you sleep, maybe try adjusting shower schedule to catch him off guard, store non-refridgerable food and dishes in your own room and only wash what you use. If the funds are there you can even look into a cooler for the stuff that needs to stay cold, and above all else grey rock the fucker. Do not give him any satisfaction by allowing him to witness how he affects you. He has already displayed his unwillingness to work together on a solution, so you have no other reason to communicate. Don't outright ignore, but only give the most basic necessary replies.

No. 447899

>>447882
Do you go all shift without eating and then binge when you get home? That will make you exhausted and crash. Try bringing healthy snacks to have on your breaks and look into meal prep so that you can come home to a healthy pre portioned meal that doesn't require much effort.

No. 447950

I need advice on how to break a shopping addiction that is starting up. It only really started the last 2 months and it got worse over the Black Friday sales. I'm so ashamed because I used to buy maybe 1-2 pieces a month that were vintage and I enjoyed "the hunt" on eBay and other reselling websites. But lately, I've been buying a lot more comparatively from one specific clothing brand. Over the last 2 months, it's been $600 in total, which isn't earth shattering, but usually, I'm not spending more than $150 a month on clothing MAX (and usually it's far, far less than that…like maybe $50 a month to $0).

I am actually super productive right now, I'm taking community college classes for fun, I'm journaling, I'm volunteering, I'm reading, I'm listening to music (I enjoy listening to many different albums, etc.) but I've never gotten this lust for shopping. It's terrible. I'll check this clothing website every day, multiple times a day, to see if anything new dropped. I've gone in person to these stores near me around 4-5 times in the last month just to touch the new clothes. I've applied to work there on a part time basis, too. It embarrasses me because I used to take pride in how I tried not to waste and was quite frugal and did not overconsume in terms of buying "new" things. But I feel like I've dug myself into this hole and even if I climb out, I have all these new clothes to remind me of how I abandoned my principles to get this weird high

No. 447951

>>447950
Start looking at content about minimalism, decluttering, capsule wardrobes etc. I'm not necessarily saying you should become a minimalist or anything, but whenever I look at that stuff I get so inspired to own/buy less and it replaces whatever shopping 'phase' I'm going through. It's not a permanent solution because I still like clothes but I really do think twice about buying more when I've cleaned out my wardrobe to a satisfying extent.

No. 448254

I had a mental breakdown last year which resulted in my friend group dropping me. Looking back on it, they were never really my friends to begin with and I realised it earlier this year when I thought back on how no one had tried to reach out to me when times were tough and saw how they would ignore me whenever I'd try to say something in the gc. I have a shitty Android phone I can't leave the chat but today they were making plans so I just moved the gc to the spam folder and decided to be done with them forever. I know that this is important for my healing after a really traumatic time and that people who are so comfortable excluding someone they've known for years are not people I should surround myself with, but damn it really hurts.

Has anyone gone through something like this, and how did you get through it? I really have no interest in trying to befriend anyone because in all honesty I just don't really like people in general anymore, but any advice you have would be helpful

No. 448259

How do I become more disciplined? I want to study in Europe (I have a European passport) because the education in my country is shit. Well I have mental problems (depression, OCD, Asperger's) I have gone to work in my mother's business but basically I don't do anything and that's why I didn't receive pay, I wanted to buy a 3D printer. I am enrolled in an English and drawing course, today was the day of the English course but I missed it. Everything I start I don't finish.

No. 448265

File: 1733268464460.jpg (337.06 KB, 650x650, wim_hof.jpg)

>>448259
just trying to be more disciplined isn't going to work. What you need is true internal change, then the discipline will come along automatically. To that end I would recommend that you take up breathwork. Look up either Wim Hof or Holotropic breathing. Both you can do on your own time and sessions can be as short as 10 minutes. If you can at least force yourself to do 10 minutes a day you should start noticing progress fairly quickly. Don't worry about doing the breathing "correctly", just follow the instructions as best you can and experiment with the breathing until you find a pattern that is right for you.

No. 448280

>>448265
Please don't look up Wim Hof, he doesn't deserve the clicks. That scrote is violent abuser and has terrorised his family for years

No. 448281

I have a serious issue with constantly self-sabotaging myself that it's ruining my life. I am so used to failing at life, but in the past 2 years things have been going ok. I finally seem to be escaping a rut i've been stuck in for almost a decade. But now i have to repeat some clasessed for the stupidest reason and it's my own fault. I just let myself fail and i am sick of ruining my own life like this. I've allowed myself to gain weight and constantly fail at losing it because i always ruin my own attempts because i want to be comfortable. I don't like how my life is, but trying to change it almost feels futile because i am so used to being a failure, it feels wrong not to be. How do i escape this cycle? How do i find the strength to become better at handling stress?

No. 448286

>>448281
You keep returning to misery because it's what you're used to. A large part of yourself believes that you are undeserving of a nice life through the experiences that have made you into who you are today. You have to start putting yourself first. I'm not saying that you have to accept all of your flaws and love who you are. Start with the lonely little girl who you once were. She didn't deserve the things that happened to her. She needed a friend, she needed someone to believe in her, she needed someone to take care of her. It will take awhile to learn to accept your current self, but you can always make yourself into the person who should've been there for that child when she needed it most. That's what helped me.

No. 448298

>>448286
Thank you anon for your advice! I'll definitely take it into account. I think it's probably time for me to go back to therapy too tbh.

No. 448313

>>448280
then do holotropic breathing, it's basically the same thing. The only reason I prefer Wim Hof is because it's easier to get started with

No. 448434

File: 1733346156741.jpg (220.62 KB, 1000x1000, 1733128847822198.jpg)

Is it worth it to make a separate blog or sideblog specifically for my art? (I know other blogs just add "-art" to the end of their main) I planned on making one and reblogging from my fandom sideblogs, but will posting art directly to my main be easier and/or get more recognition?
It's filled with random posts and vents right now, I want to post cute fanart but also want to draw nsfw of my husbando, is tagging everything appropriately and putting nsfw under a read more alright? I would prefer not to make another separate art blog just for posting yaoi doujins,at least not yet kek.
I'm guessing it's not the smartest idea to post videos from my personal YouTube if I want to keep my identity private either, but won't it eventually be found out if I take commissions and collab with others? I'm worried about people I knew from way back finding my channel and giving out my real identity, should I just not care?

No. 448465

File: 1733353381495.jpg (42.62 KB, 640x482, image.jpg)

How can I get people to stop treating me like an NPC in their lives? I have gone this whole semester (I'm back in school career-changing) without making a single friend and it hasn't been for lack of trying. But I also haven't been overbearing or needy. I come to all the lectures/extra-lecture stuff and if I sit alone (I always end up sitting alone) I don't try to impose myself on someone's space and don't sit with them unprompted, but I still have regular normal conversations with people that are for the most part sperg-free.
Being friends with someone is not what being un-NPC to someone is, though, so I'd give examples of what I've dealt with in my life recently if I didn't feel they were too identifying, but I hope whoever's reading this kind of gets what I'm saying. I'm just kind of lonely and I really really don't get interacted with. It's wild to me, how I don't get included in conversations and I never get asked about anything that people ask others about in plain public in front of me, so no one knows anything about my interests or even basic things like my family members because no one cares to ask. They'll talk over me if we're in a group of 3 or more.
My fashion sense is a little wack (basic and boring), I have no piercings or any accessories so maybe this makes people think I'm boring, I'm skinny fat but not any fatter than average, and there's a few women my age (or a decade and a half older) getting along just fine socially in the program I'm studying, I just don't know what to change or what to do. What gives?

No. 448904

I don't know what to do. I met a guy yesterday and I think I'm crushing on him really badly. I wanna cry. I'm stuck with him for a month and for some reason he is really attractive to me. Not even looks wise but the way he acts and articulates himself do it for me. He does nice things sometimes and it's driving me insane. I get physically hot around him. That's so awkward. Am I being driven by hormones? My period is around the corner (Like a week or so). I mean come on! A crush on a 30 something year old when I'm just 19? That's ridiculous. Do you think he knows? I hope he doesn't. That would be so awkward. I'm such a mess around him I giggle and do weird shit. What do you think I should do to distract myself? I think a contributing factor to this is the fact that this is my first time living alone and I'm lonely. He was the first to talk to me and take me under his wing. I know men suck. I still can't help the way I feel although there is no way he feels the same

No. 448949

I have a colleague that had nothing to do in the afternoon shift. 6 hours to check only three people in + buy fruit in the shop less than 2 minutes away. In 6 hours.
I did all i had to do in the morning shift so i said, im leaving you the fun part: decorate the minuscule Christmas tree, as our boss asked.
She said okay! With a smile.
Next morning i walk into work and the minuscule tree is not done. Not a single decoration. Tell me why it made sense to me that she DID do it and someone stole the decorations, instead of thinking that she just…didnt fucking do it. Thats how insane to me that was.
Boss says "im coming over today" so i have to do the tree. Took me 20 minutes. The problem is not that i had to leave my responsibilities and do the tree, the problem is that in my church, we do not do the tree, it's seen as bad.
So because this stupid cunt couldn't be assed to do the tree in 6 hours, i had to. Worst part is the boss didnt even come. I sinned for no reason.
So i tell myself "when this cunt comes to work today ill ask her why she didnt do it", but when she came to work i said nothing because i am a coward. I cannot stand confrontation it makes me want to throw up. I just cant believe how someone just doesnt care like literallly cant be fucking assed to do something so simple and quick in 6 hours where u have nothing major to do!!!!!! I don't know what to do or think or say

No. 448958

>>448465

Don't treat yourself like an NPC. I get that being lonely sucks but it's not like your appearance is your personality (especially since you seem to focus on your fashion sense and piercings or your weight).

Why would people ask you about your interests or family? It's up to you to open up about this type of things. It's kind of narcissistic to expect everyone around you to see you as soo important that they would ask you about family and personal life unprompted (and kind of weird imo, I would be creeped out if someone would ask me about my family out of the blue) especially since you haven't mentioned any people you are in an intimate friendship with. People have their own shit to worry about, they're not gonna pry unless they are gossipy or want to take advantage of you.

Find things you like to do or to read about, anything of substance beyond what you look like or what you wear - in short get a personality since you seem to not have much of one.

No. 449035

hi nonnas i would like some honest opinions and advice for my situation

A friend of around 3 years just called me today after having not contacted me for about 3 months. the last time I saw her she had mostly monologued about herself and asked me barely anything about myself. I still care a lot about her and whats going on in her life despite this.
However when she called me just now and immediately launched into a 20 minute monologue about her life without even asking if I was free to talk, or asking how I am (having recently got into a new job and relationship which I'm sure she knows about through mutual friends) it really irritated me. At the 20 minute mark I told her she hadn't asked a single question and only talks about herself and that I need to go as I am with my family, then I hung up.

I feel really guilty now as she sounded surprised and hurt on the phone, but I stand by the fact that she wasn't being a good friend…

AITA? did I overreact?

No. 449044

>>449035
You didn't say anything cruel. If she cares about you, she'll try to apologize.

No. 449256

i want to try going braless in public since i have very small breasts and if i can get used to not wearing bras ill be saving a good amount of money. honestly i care more about would women would think rather than men (idgaf what men think about it actually). would you personally find it gross/indecent if you could see a womans nipples through her shirt? not her actual nipples obviously but like nipple outline, ya know, its cold and shit happens no matter how big or small you are

No. 449267

>>449256
ngl, yes i would, even though it's not fair. Every once in a while I'll see a woman who does this and it's so distracting I usually wind up avoiding her so I don't get caught glancing at her nipples like a retard. I imagine this is even more so the case with any men you'd encounter, so you'd have to be aware of that. I'm also small breasted and have thought about going braless, but this is what stops me. I think the only way this would work is if all women stopped doing it at once so people could acclimate to seeing female nipples out and about.

No. 449268

>>449256
It depends on how thin the shirt is, but since its sweater weather I doubt it will be very noticeable. I also stare when mens nipples are on display though

No. 449272

>>449256
I stopped wearing bras 5+ years ago and I can't recommend it enough. If people stare, avoid you, or judge you silently in their head, genuinely who cares? The people worth having in my life will ~endure~ the sight of my breasts. Everybody else can GTFO
>>449267
Is this really a big deal though? People glance in all kinds of directions for all sorts of reasons. There's a difference between "oh no I glanced at her chest" and "I can't hear what she's saying because the only thing I care about are her boobs." It's the difference between glancing around the room while someone talks vs staring in the totally opposite direction. It's not the same thing.

No. 449273

>>449256
I would just wear nipple covers tbh, that's what I tend to do whenever I'm too lazy to wear a real bra.

No. 449274

>>449272
idk personally i get really nervous because I know i'm glancing because of attraction so it's a big deal to me hence why I avoid those situations but i agree it's not anon's responsibility to accommodate me or anyone else with how she dresses, i was just answering her questions honestly that yes i find it sexually distracting. But like I said the only reason it is this way is because no one is used to it, in many other cultures it's normal, i just don't know how to fix it.

No. 449323

>>449267
honestly same, the reason i posted in the first place is that i lowkey feel the same way about other women going braless and i wish i didnt. i was curious to see if other nonnas had the same perception. maybe im subconsciously envious that other women dont care and am projecting that onto them? because when i think about it, bras dont actually provide any additional support or comfort to me like they do for large breasted women. i only wear them because of what other people think. which on one hand is sensible but on another hand is kind of cringe and annoying.

No. 449328

>>449274
I'm a lesbian too. You can unlearn your internalised homophobia.

No. 449331

>>449256
I’ve been braless for YEARS. I don’t care if people can see my nipple outlines. Honestly I don’t really think about it much anymore. No one has ever said anything to me about it. We can see everyone’s ass but we freak out over nipple outlines? Kek

No. 449365

>>449256
My breasts are medium sized and my nipples are pierced, I'm still going braless on my days off because it's more comfortable, I've never been told that it was gross or whatever, maybe it's not very noticeable since I tend to wear oversized clothing, I don't even think people are staring (although I was in Japan last summer and tons of moids did stare kek).

No. 449422

>>449035
You were just being honest. I would be annoyed with a "friend" like that. She doesn't seem to care about you. She just sees you as a free therapist who she can dump all her emotional baggage on.

No. 449449

>>449256
I don't think it's gross or anything but I couldn't help but look because I'm bi. It sounds like you go through bras often, is that because of wear or something because there should be ways to minimise that? I don't like wearing bras either and am also small, I just have one ancient strapless one from the store that somehow fits me well to deal with pokies and there's no wires or straps to dig into me.

No. 449463

>>449256
Don’t really care, my eyes might notice if someone has piercings or if they’re erect but I quite literally don’t think anything about it, it’s neutral.
I could also go brakes but my nipples are always erect , no matter if it’s cold or warm kek and I don’t want people to stare.

No. 449761

File: 1733824327782.jpg (454.26 KB, 963x1280, 1000003700.jpg)

Does anyone have tips for making friends in a class where people are in quite strong cliques already?
I'm friends with a girl from uni, but the more I spend time with her the more I realize I don't particularly like her (for good reasons and also no reason). I really want to become friends with these people to the point that I, pathetically enough, daydream about just having conversations with them, but they're a couple and are usually in group convos so it's hard for me to butt in.
The gal of the couple is in a dance troupe along with another girl in my group. Should I just ask her to join the dance troupe and stop overthinking this? The ideal situation for me would to somehow go for drink with them because alcohol lowers my inhibitions and I become much more fun.
I just don't want to finish uni while regretting the fact I never approached the people I actually wanted to hang out with, even though it's only my 2nd year.

No. 449845

>Havent spoken to close friend for 2 months because of an argument
>She posts a photodump on instagram recently including a selfie with my boyfriend, it was an event they ran into each other at
Am I justified to be angry at her about this

No. 449856

>>449845
Shouldn’t you be mad at the bf for agreeing to take the photo ? He’s supposed to be on your side.

No. 449861

>>449856
It's an old picture taken before our argument. Idk why she posted it now.

No. 449869

>>449861
Oh. Then yea I’d be a little salty

No. 450158

How to BTFO a narcissist? Sadly avoiding him and blocking him is not an option yet.

No. 450161

File: 1733940357134.png (312.08 KB, 1206x1388, Grey rock method What it is an…)

>>450158
Narcissists want to elicit a reaction from you because they want to feel important and powerful. Don’t react to anything he does or says. Just act uninterested and unbothered. That will crush a narcissist’s ego and eventually get them to leave you alone.

No. 450201

File: 1733942242441.jpeg (33.53 KB, 310x576, IMG_1459.jpeg)

>meet guy at a bar last friday
>he’s fine other than the fact that he shushes me when i try to say anything related to what he’s saying?? like he doesn’t understand the concept of a conversation like annoying asf
>still i give him my number and we text a bit
>he asks if he wants to meet this friday but i say i can’t how about tuesday
>on tuesday he’s like are we meeting so i ask what time
>doesn’t reply until 7 hours later when it’s too late, says he fell asleep
>understandably i’m a bit pissed (even tho i was glad bc i didn’t actually want to meet him) say it’s late and i can’t do when he’s trying to rearrange (to friday again)
>he asks to meet next tuesday (i explained before that i wouldn’t want to travel into the city centre bc it’s way too busy bc of christmas) so i say he’s blown his chance and i don’t wanna meet next tuesday bc it will be too busy
>doesn’t reply
i’m pissed that i was the one who didn’t get to ghost first lol, genuinely wasn’t interested in him at all he was the one being extremely flirtatious over texts. was i right? why are moids this cheeky when THEY are the ones flirting with you?

No. 450213

>>450201
I would have been done with the shushing, that’s unreal. I had a date kind of like that where he’d ask me questions and then go “Oh… you interrupted me” when I tried to answer. Moids are so braindead.

No. 450215

I know this is hair related but I feel it fits into the advice thread moreso. I have been alternating between dying and bleaching my hair for a few years now. It’s still healthy but I’m debating on cancelling my next appointment and just growing out my ugly, mousy brown hair. I hate my hair color but I’m a bit tired of the money and upkeep and I wonder if I can grow to like it. But my dyed hair makes me feel very confident and beautiful! What should I do nonnies? Its going to take years to grow out so I’ll have to deal with two colors of hair. Should I just wear a wig in the meantime during the cooler months?

No. 450221

Large-chested nonas; what's your favorite site to order bras from? My old reliable is falling apart and I hate dealing with my others. I used to order from Aerie, is that still ok or is there a better website that's also cost effective/has decent sales?

No. 450223

>>450215
You could have a colorist try to match your current hair color to your roots so it doesn’t have to be two colors. It might not be possible depending on how extreme the color difference is.

>>450221
Panache is my favorite, I also love their sports bras. They make underwire and non underwire versions. They’re on sale pretty often, too, so don’t let the non-sale price scare you. Elomi is also great.

No. 450380

Has anyone here fixed their trichotillomania? I don’t straight out pull my hair out, but I find tiny dots or just search my hair until I find an uneven spot and scratch it. This has caused my hair get ripped out. I only do it in non noticeable places, but my hair is already thin and it’s just getting worse. I can’t pull my hair back or else you can see it.
This only really happens while I study, am stressed, or bored. Over the summer I had to take a lot of classes and had 5 exams per week. This really made it bad and I haven’t been able to stop since. It’s gotten so bad to the point where I subconsciously do it even when simple tiny stressful things happen like I keep dying in a video game. I’ve thought about taking minoxidil but it’s toxic for cats topically and if I take it orally I’ll get thick hair everywhere which I don’t want. I graduate college this spring so I hope I can stop then, but I have no idea how to break this habit in the meantime

No. 451659

How do I start getting used to sharing more about myself in casual conversation? I just feel like the second I try to share something about myself, people want me to just finish telling my story even though that's not true. Plus, I feel anxious whenever I'm vulnerable with someone about my true feelings.

No. 451725

I always thought men were the same as us (mentally not physically, I'm not dumb). I was curious about 4chan and went to take a look but holy heavens nothing could have prepared me for that. I view men completely differently. I always knew to be wary of them but I assumed they had the common sense that I thought was common sense. Like violence is bad, we are nice to people and don't take advantage of them. Or we help people and don't discriminate. But now it feels like ,what I thought were, few bad apples among humanity are not so few afterall. They could be anywhere. Whenever I speak to guys I see their friendly facade and I wonder what they are like on the inside. Who can I actually trust? Even before I went to that website I was scared of being outside but now it's particularly bad. I cannot even turn my back to someone at the train station out of fear that someone will push me or something. I know this is dumb. But honestly I don't know what to do about it. Do you have any advice?

No. 451735

Weird and painful situation here. I have a powerful work crush on this guy who’s at the other end of the office (aka we barely get a chance to interact) and have been trying to talk to him for ages. We’ve interacted here and there, all positive but I can’t figure out if his awkwardness is attraction or smth else. I’m his type (he likes nerdy girls with glasses),we’re both single and we have stuff in common, so naturally I want to pursue it. (I’m also an idiot) Additionally I found out he’s leaving soon, and he’s been very avoidant around everyone at work, often working from home when he used to come in every day, eating lunch alone with headphones on, basically quiet quitting. When he’d usually come up to me and chat at the work party the other day, he just talked to his mates and left abruptly. I got to chat to said mates later when he’d left, and turns out he has a reputation for being very socially awkward and stupid. He’s probably autistic or something which just makes me more intent on figuring him out. I at least want to ask him out for a pint before he leaves so I can assess whether it’s worth continuing, but how can I do this when he’s mentally checked out and probably distancing himself to save the pain of breaking with work friends?

No. 451769

>>451735
Maybe you could approach him saying something like "hey I heard you want to leave your job.Thing is I really liked having you around and I would like to continue having you in my life. If it's alright with you (would you like to grab a coffee sometime/ exchange numbers..etc..)?" Or something along those lines. Or maybe you could stay something like "hey nice to see you again. It's been so long. what are you up to? Wanna catch up over Lunch?" Or perhaps something like "wanna share this food Item with me? It was a two for one Deal and I can't Finish it on my own?" Good luck nona

No. 451836

>>451725
I practically grew up on 4chan and witnessed the birth of /r9k/ and incel culture, so I've been thoroughly blackpilled about male nature for a long time. But honestly, it doesn't impact me IRL because I don't date or have sex or have close friendships with men. I generally limit myself to polite, superficial interactions with men, and maybe they go home and watch violent porn and spew misogynistic garbage, but I wouldn't know it from our bare minimum contact. I never truly trust men, but I trust that most will have some awareness of social norms and aren't so antisocial they will actively harm me as long as I keep my distance.

So I guess my advice is to try not to get too obsessed with what men think of you, just ignore and decentre them as much as possible to minimize risk. I do think there are enough normie, offline men that some are decent but its hard to tell so I just treat them like a bomb that might go off.

No. 451888

>>451735
If you really want to give it a chance, then just approach him. Do you have his work email? Maybe email him (if approaching seems too aggressive) and ask if he wants to get lunch or a drink before he leaves.

No. 451987

>>451888
I have Teams, I’m just kinda scared about messaging him and probably won’t be able to see him in the office for a while. I’m going to ask something on Monday but no idea if he’ll reply!

No. 451990

>>451987
Ask him, I'll always regret never asking my work crush for a drink together, it's been gnawing on the back of my mind ever since he left almost two years ago.

No. 451992

>>451990
I feel for you and I know this is gonna be me too if I don’t ask him… so I’ll send a message on Monday and hope he replies!!! Ty nonnies, pray for me

No. 452335

I'm a hotel receptionist. Went from a 5 star hotel, to a 4, to 3 and now to 2. Much less pressure, guests love me, i get to use my qualities (languages/good interaction with guests). But I'm tired. Nonas what's a similar job i could do that is even calmer than a 15 room hotel? Your advice and experience is much more valuable than chat gpt's. PLEASE HELP

No. 452651

File: 1734264839734.jpg (4.24 KB, 225x225, 1655309868167.jpg)

How do I explain to someone new I'm dating that I'm spending Christmas alone without seeming like a crazy shut in? I have some family drama and trauma I'd rather not open up right away to someone

No. 452661

>>452651
basically what you just said to us you would say to them.
"I don't think I'm ready to open up about it completely while our relationship is new but because of some family stuff I'm spending christmas alone actually." Up to you if you want to say that you'll share more after you know each other better or if you want to say how it makes you feel (like, "I'm pretty sad about it actually" or "I'm used to it unfortunately" etc) and you should also consider if you would want to go to a holiday event with them and their family in case the invite comes up (they're not obligated to invite you, especially a new relationship, but they might.)

No. 452673

I don't feel comfortable asking elsewhere so here goes. I'm in CA. The statue of limitations for SA is 10 years so I'm within that. I have photos of me unconscious that are explicit and of the SA, and I have a short video that shows it (I am also unconscious). Do I just file a police report, or should I also talk to an attorney first? My thing is, this man admitted to me so many other assaults and I have reason to believe there's many more photos that he has of other people that would appear to be taken unconsensually. I suspect there is CSAM as well. I want to file for this before the statue of limitations goes away and I want to be sure all his other confessions to me are taken into account.

No. 452676

>>452673
You should consult a lawyer first, they would advise you on the procedure to follow and what to say to the police. Good luck anon and may he rot.

No. 452697

>>452673
Go to a lawyer. May he rot forever. You are amazing for going after him. Thank you, it's not easy.

No. 453191

>>452335
Not sure if your country has B&Bs (guesthouses are kinda similar I think) but those are a good way of interacting with guest without the overwhelm of having hundreds of people to look after!

No. 453232

>>451735
Update: I sent him a message and he’s read but hasn’t replied. That’s it, I will no longer be listening to my heart (or my libido)

No. 453266

>>453232
Kek chill, he's probably nervous and trying to think of what to say

No. 454605

>>453266
Nah, eventually he let me know he was busy and it was abrupt enough to suggest he wasn’t interested… I’m gonna choose better next time kek

No. 454728

File: 1734565399781.jpg (261.97 KB, 900x1200, madeline.jpg)

NONNIES pls help me. Hypothetically, if someone looked like chick from the leftcows thread (maddie quinn aka dasha’s ugly friend) except shorter, how would you style this totally hypothetical ugly woman (who is totally not me. Asking for a friend, etc) to make her look cool and not lame?

No. 454730

File: 1734565578194.jpg (28.44 KB, 640x447, 2g32awm.jpg)

>>454728
especially lesbian anons pls give advice, wrt hair and clothes. I’m not gay but I value your opinions.

No. 454737

File: 1734566865638.png (670.77 KB, 774x659, suggestions.png)

>>454728
She's not ugly and neither is your friend. I don't know what kinda things interest your friend but a strong androgynous hair style with a feminized suit looks very cool with such striking cheekbones. A nice kajal liner to make the eyes pop with a subtle flush on the lips brings a lot of life to the face. Frame the face in a way that brings out their favorite feature. Hope your friend finds some good inspiration, let them know to have fun with it. Maybe make a thrifting and spa day!

No. 454738

>>454728
>>454730
she's not ugly. I agree a suave androgynous look would look good on her but if you say you're short then it depends on if you're very hourglass/ curvy in which case it won't work that well (as me how I know)

No. 454758

>>454737
Thank you for the suggestions!
>>454738
Closer to a short rectangle. It's more so that all formalwear kind of looks bad on me, androgynous or otherwise, but picking the least bad looking option would be fine since we all have to wear it occasionally.

No. 454774

File: 1734572913351.jpg (37.22 KB, 371x594, 96da3de1c60e901c9d931efa6ed24f…)

>>454728
>>454730
Don't let the looksmaxxing nonnies hating on Maddie in the leftcows thread get you down, they're literally reddit transplants. Most people would think Maddie is cute. They just obsessively call her ugly because she has an ugly soul and doesn't fit the bombshell archetype. She has the kind of look that smarty hipster guys all flock to, if that's your type. I think her worst mistake is literally just dressing frumpy most of the time, while the other 1% of the time she's in something way too revealing and sharp that doesn't suit her "cute" face. I'd say try to keep it both edgy and modest, tbh look at twee 2000s fashion pics and lean into the vibe. It has the ability to pass as both formal and casual with tons of options for any body type. For you (and your body type) it seems perfect. Form-fitting A-line dresses, lots of layering, and muted palettes with pops of color here and there. Since you mentioned your body type is squarish, go for things that define your waist more like blouses and dresses that have a flare to them at the end, or even a tie in the back. Definitely avoid necklines that are too close to the base of your neck and instead go for square-neck or anything else with a wider/lower cut. I recommend trying to avoid going out in tshirts, boxy longsleeves, or anything else that totally hides your waist. Try to create and balance shape by wearing skirts above the knee with tights then layering more on your upper half.

Makeup-wise, I think less is truly more with these kind of features. Go for lip tints + gloss, light pink blush, winged eyeshadow or pencil eyeliner (liquid is too harsh for soft features), subtly filled in brows. I think less is truly more with this kind of mix of (very pretty!) features.

No. 454817

File: 1734578832866.png (641.07 KB, 742x488, options.png)

>>454758
Forgive me for being a bit forward, i question if formal wear looks bad on you or if it is the wrong cut, color and a smidge of being self conscious. It's ok to not like what we see in the mirror. At that point we need to figure out what's off and what we want to go for. In general mid to high rise pants and skirts can emphasize definition on a rectangle figure.
I found this blog about dressing a petite rectangle figure. She put in a lot of examples with explanations of why things may not look as nice and there are photos.

No. 454818

>>454817
I dropped the link to the blog. Hope it helps.
https://blog.petitedressing.com/rectangle-body-shape/?utm_source=pinterest&utm_medium=social

No. 454852

>>454774
I agree about her being very unlikable, sucks not having a normal celeb lookalike, I don’t follow those threads but she has horrible vibes from her socials alone. Thank you for the nice words.

I was asking because I haven’t had a consistent wardrobe over the past years but lately I started settling into a style and I didn’t want to get too secure without more consideration. Your post is exactly what I feared lol, it’s the EXACT opposite recommendations, I almost exclusively wear crew necks, I haven’t worn anything that wasn’t boxy in years and I currently dont even own a dress. Or a skirt. Or several other things you mentioned tbh.

I will definitely give more thought as to how your ideas ended up so different from mine, if my taste sucks or if this chick has a different vibe despite looking like me. You make good points though, I did briefly try dressing twee-ish a while ago and it was pretty cute, but i stopped, maybe because of all the hipster guys.

>>454817
>>454818
Disconcertingly esl blog. Would it be mean to say her pics and outfits are a little… I’m not sure, gen x? I checked and it’s from last year so I’m not sure why it feels that way. I like your pics better! The article focuses on creating illusions and changing your silhouette but the thing is, I don’t inherently dislike my body despite what my posts may have suggested. Maybe I do need to try creating more illusions or shapes if I want to look cooler, but I don’t even like her example pictures. I like the high waisted pants idea though, thank you.

No. 454919

>>454818
As a rectangle fag I'm always annoyed by these guides because it's always about creating the illusion of curves to get a more feminine womanly uwu figure, it's hard to find guides about leaning on your natural androgyny.

No. 455602

>>454852
Just wanted to let you know I don't think you should feel like you have to try and change or hide your shape. She was both petite and had a rectangle figure. My thought was that it was another option to play around with. I can see why it looks like her picks were leaning gen x like.

No. 456262

What can you say to someone who is stuck in negative, self hating spirals? Is there a gentle way to snap someone out of it? Or do you have to be firm? I know that deep down this person wants to get better, but they lapse into these patterns of fear and pain and get stuck

No. 456298

Ladies I need to use to a pic for my fb marketplace post for finding a roommate but don't want to use actual photos of my house online. Can you provide me with some wholesome substitutes?

No. 456316

>>456298
If you’re uncomfortable using your own place, take a photo from Google maps and try to get your place plus a neighbor or two if possible. That way they don’t exactly know which is yours.


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