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No. 1438835
Previous threads:
>>>/ot/1198440>>>/ot/586560Discuss anything pertaining to Autism, Aspergers or ADHD/ADD experiences as a woman here.
Talk about the difficulty of diagnosis as a woman, the struggles with being compared to male autists. Or even discuss the recent uptick in autism diagnoses in online mental health communities like Tiktok.
No. 1438922
>>1438915i found the second volume in a charity shop in my city and was
so excited.
No. 1439259
>>1438835I feel like this pic implies we are all either monsters, dead, or deeply depressed inside which isn’t true. A neutral face underneath would make more sense.
Autism gets demonized enough already, no need to do it ourselves.
No. 1439525
>>1439496Well right now I’m trying to work through this list so discussions (not arguments) about things related to these topics would be nice:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/How_to_Read_a_Book#Reading_list_(1972_edition)There’s r/ClassicalEducation for this specifically, as well as all the broader ones like r/philosophy and whatnot. However the bigger the subreddit, the more dummies/trolls there are and useless power mods and people who nitpick grammar. Plus reddit discussions only last 24 hours which is annoying. The only good one I’ve found is r/askbiblicalstudies but that’s the exception, not the rule. Haven’t found anything off of reddit.
It’s kind of sad that it seems you can only get discussions like these by taking a course or mixing with wealthy/upper class people (who are more likely to have gone to better schools and be more “cultured”). Where are all the normal people who are trying to self educate?
No. 1439690
>>1439259that's not how i see it. if this comic is an example of how it feels masking, then i see that last panel as her
feeling like death, after a full day of it. I dunno but I relate to it somehow.
No. 1439766
File: 1670678874478.jpeg (79.36 KB, 454x651, peanuts.jpeg)
Any of you nonas get misophonia (getting triggered by noises like breathing and chewing)?
I feel bad about this but my cat is a big trigger for me. I put her food and water away from places I normally sit and generally either leave the room or put on some background noise if she starts grooming herself. The worst is when she starts licking herself on my bed when I'm trying to sleep. I'm trying white noise but it only helps so much.
I'm also worried about having Christmas dinner with family and being close to all the chewing and swallowing sounds which put me in such a bad mood. I always shut down at the dinner table. I'm thinking maybe background music might help? Does anyone else have solutions to this?
No. 1439795
File: 1670681314263.png (135.4 KB, 532x538, ear plugs.png)
>>1439790Thank you, that's true about the loud festive songs. The regular breaks are good too. Sometimes I take a long break until the majority of the eating is done, and then return to eat mine later than everyone else. I don't care if they think I've been in the bathroom having a long shit, I just can't deal with those sounds.
>>1439789Oh god, same here. I get so bothered by my own noises too. It's impossible, really.
Have you ever tried those Loop or Calmer ear plug things? That are meant to filter out certain noises? Apparently there are kinds designed to dampen internal noises too. My only problem is I generally don't like things in my ears for very long. Tempted to give them a try though.
No. 1439805
File: 1670682382954.jpeg (1.29 MB, 1242x2132, AC7F1786-73F4-4B73-9881-EE0A18…)
I genuinely believe there is some kind of mass hysteria/ tiktok induced psychosis relating to disorders. It is statistically impossible at the rate in which so many people online are claiming to be autistic. I don’t even think it’s intentional, but I believe it is something akin to munchausens disorder. They have picked up these symptoms from tiktoks they’ve seen; and are playing up symptoms that are completely normal in neurotypicals in order to persuade themselves, and those around them that they are in fact autistic. I don’t believe all of this “masking” bs. It seems to be a copout for why they haven’t shown symptoms until it gained popularity because of the uwutism girls
No. 1439819
>>1439805Yes to all this but don't make the mistake of thinking that "masking is bullshit" just because some people use that term for their fake disorders.
>>1439810>>1439805I definitely see the mass hysteria connection. But also, as a nona said in the last thread, every single symptom of austism is something normies experience too. And when those symptoms are amplified by external causes, like social media or lockdown etc. paired with the fact that there is absolutely zero gatekeeping and even encouragement in having a disorder, it makes a lot of sense how so many people think they are ND.
No. 1439825
>>1439821I totally get that. It makes me angry to see it always portrayed as a cute, positive thing and anytime anyone posts something like "could i be autistic? i watched a tiktok video and related to it…" and all the comments are affirming. i think the default should be "probably not" and discouragement from self-diagnosis being taken so seriously.
pathologising normal human behaviour, whilst neglecting those actually suffering, is a very profitable model so unfortunately i don't see this lifting any time soon.
No. 1439930
>>1439805I know this is tiktok cringe but I’ve thought about doing this before. Don’t think it’s possible though. The fake sounds of enthusiasm and interest I do whilst people are talking to me are so entrenched in who I am at this point, it’s like a reflex. Also, when people start talking to me about something they’ve already talked to me about before, I start getting irrationally angry, like why are you putting me through this twice? I just don’t want to have to talk or react to other people. It’s a performance. Sometimes, I point it out and they just totally ignore me and carry on yapping about it. Also, when I’m involved in a conversation I don’t want to be in, and I have something to say back, and they fucking interrupt me. It gives me stress diarrhoea.
Also I hate people who think that just because they have adhd, everyone should just let them interrupt people. No you fucking asshole. Don’t you fucking dare interrupt people. I have adhd and I had to put up with being slapped and sent out the room for interrupting as a
child, why don’t you learn to behave like a decent person instead of using your disorder as a scapegoat for what a selfish twat you are?
No. 1439955
>>1439930Normal people repeat themselves more than autists at this point. I'm hyper aware of everything I say and if I sound unnatural when I talk to people, but they just say things with no regard for people's body language like you said. Is it actually more normal to not care about those social cues, or am I hard to read because of the autism?
Also, I just wanted to vent about how I feel like I am a fucking alien from The Thing. I wonder if people notice that I'm acting in a forced way. I think I end up coming off as closed off, cold, or rude sometimes but I'm just trying to calculate what to say that won't be odd and make people avoid me. It's so tiring and makes me feel worthless, I don't even want to try anymore.
No. 1439961
>>1439805It’s the new trans. People don’t engage with literature enough to realize that the feelings they have that they think make them special have been had by everyone at one point.
Wild to think that in the 90s wearing glasses to school was enough to get bullied and now people are openly larping being r*tarded in front of the whole world.
No. 1439996
>>1439805I agree, especially with the masking bullshit. I was diagnosed at 6 and then again by a neurologist at 16 with autism. I never have felt this “masking” thing before, and I’ve never personally felt extremely full blown uwu special different. Just like cool, got some weird quirks. So does everyone.
>>1439955 I fully feel this too. I am crazy aware of myself and everyone else’s small behaviors. No one notices anything. And I also come off as cold. Like a bitch tho, not a “oh she’s autistic way”. People can’t tell, they just think I’m a blunt cunt. I find all this tiktok autism shit to be the most cringe, inaccurate thing on there. Oh god especially those girls that will jump and flap and call it “stimming”. We can all tell they’re not that low functioning and it is so fucking offensive to autistic people that are non verbal and unable to take care of them selves. You know, like actually fully disabled people.
No. 1440014
>>1439766Not for general chewing noises, but maybe that's because no one eats like a camel in my family. But I'm also very
triggered by my dog licking himself, I always tell him to cut it off when he comes all the way over the house just to sit next to me and start licking his dick and legs. It's such a disgusting, wet sound.
No. 1440125
File: 1670703887626.png (508.17 KB, 1080x1097, Screenshot_20221210-141157~2.p…)
>>1439805It's always the same on TikTok… BPD girls self-diagnosing with autism to get attention. It's not worth trying to find autism content there because people will straight up lie about their diagnosis status, even tagging their videos with #latediagnosed, etc
No. 1440291
File: 1670712202622.jpeg (85.8 KB, 1200x750, 87FF762F-0636-4E56-B322-15750A…)
>>1439955>I feel like I am a fucking alien from The ThingI always really related to that cringe speech in American psycho.
No. 1440481
File: 1670720699787.png (43.28 KB, 261x213, bruh.png)
I am diagnosed with autism & ADHD. Here are some books that can help questioning anons, as well as anons that need help managing symptoms. I’ve also included books to stay away from. All of these titles are available on Library Genesis.
Recommended
Taking Charge of Adult ADHD by Russell Barkley
This book has invaluable techniques for managing shitty ADHD brain. If you’ve ever wanted to do something, but just couldn’t make yourself do it, this is the book for you. Barkley describes why ADHD people are bad at certain things, and then gives us techniques to help each symptom. I love this book because it got me out of task paralysis on a big project at work.
I Think I Might Be Autistic by Cynthia Kim
If you’re researching clinical symptoms of autism, this book is #1. The author defines and translates the ambiguous criteria of the DSM-5. She also writes about the diagnosis process, which eased my anxiety of the unknown as I sought testing.
Nerdy, Shy, and Socially Inappropriate by Cynthia Kim
This is a narrative about the author’s life with autism and how she’s learned to cope. I usually dislike autobiographies because they can become overwhelming dumps of negative emotions. However, this book emphasizes advice within the life story. Each chapter has tables and bullet points that summarize symptoms for readers to compare themselves to.
Not Recommended
Unmasking Autism by Devon Price
I heard about this book on social media and got one chapter in before it raised red flags. The author’s fixation on autism as an identity rather than a disability is off-putting and unhelpful. Upon further research, I found out that the author is self-diagnosed (she’s also a TiF, a furry, and generally a lolcow).
Odd Girl Out by Laura James.
This book is a first-person thought stream of a year in an autistic woman’s life. The vivid detail describing James’ sensory problems is accurate, but ended up making me uncomfortable. It's also a drag to read about her annoying husband.
No. 1440973
>>1439930>when people start talking to me about something they’ve already talked to me about before, I start getting irrationally angry>>1439955>Normal people repeat themselves more than autists at this point. Non-autists repeat themselves so much all the time, it confuses me so much! People around me ask me the exact same things they've asked before, and they bring up topics to talk about things we've already talked about. We are having the exact same conversations over and over. It's not even things that could have changed and thus could warrant an update, it's just all sorts of random things that they forgot we ever talked about. I'm not a savant autist with a super good memory but dear god are normal people forgetful. And I can't call them out in it because they really don't remember we've talked about it 5 times before. So I just play along now.
This used to annoy me a lot, but I've found it comes with some pros as well. I now use the opportunity to fact check things they've told me before, to evaluate how trustworthy their information is. I had one person change their numbers too much from time to time so now I know he is someone who exaggerates and I shouldn't trust his numbers too much. The other pro is when they they tell me about some interesting facts and then forget about it. I have some people who think I'm super smart just because they bring up a topic and I already know everything (that they know) about it, and they somehow have no idea it's because they've repeadely told me those things.
Sometimes I think this is only because they have a rich social life and they talk to so many people they forget about it, wheras an introverted autist like me only talks to a few people and therefore remember the conversations more often than they do. But even so, you'd think the 5th time they ask me something they'd at least acknowledge that they forget what I replied but instead they genuinely think it's the first time they've asked.
No. 1442809
>>1442794Nta but normies think adhd people are just excited or childish at worst while most normies are seriously weirded out or borderline scared of actual autists.
Source: How I view both as a neurotypical myself.
No. 1442847
>>1442589She didn't even say it was worse, she said that it's complete selective bias, because you won't notice yourself repeating shit as much, especially if we assume it's only occuring because the person genuinely forgot.
Also most of the time I notice normies repeating themselves because we talk relatively rarely, and they have a lot of friends, so they don't remember who's informed on what. Meanwhile, not counting small talk, I can count the number of people I talk to weekly on two hands, so of course I'll remember what they've told me.
No. 1442987
>>1442592Sure but if you tell me on Monday you like don’t agree with insert anything here and then on Thursday you do agree and deny ever disagreeing, I’m going to think you’re full of shit and stand for nothing. You probably shouldn’t change your opinion on shit like whether women deserve same sex spaces like it’s your favorite color or flavor of the week if you want me to think you’re coherent.
They just lie and agree with reactionary shit anon.
No. 1443000
>>1442994That’s my point. Are you sure you’re not also on the spectrum? Kek More people can use a thread with both because a good chunk of people have both asd and adhd, two threads doesn’t make sense. There’s also one anon flipping their shit every new thread.
Just be nice. You’re the one who needs a super special place just for you and has a problem. Don’t like the thread you’re welcome to hide it and not demand people cater to you.
No. 1443032
>>1442989Some anons ITT
do think ADHD is autism though and they're incorrect. I don't identify with autists at all and I have a relative who is high functioning.
>>1443000Like anons have said, they're not related at all, overlapping symptoms isn't an indication of anything. Thousands of diseases and disorders have overlapping symptoms and aren't related and honestly the prevalent of ADHD diagnoses with autism sound more like incorrect overdiagnosis due to shared symptoms, despite symptoms not presenting in the same way. That or a genetic disposition in autists to be more likely to have learning disabilities on top of their autism. Either way, if borderline has it's own thread ADHD should as well, or atleast learning disorders, like ADHD and dyslexia. It's a different class of disorder entirely.
No. 1443050
>>1443016https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/is-adhd-a-learning-disability#is-it>>According to most researchers and learning disability organizations, ADHD can affect learning, and many people with ADHDTrusted Source have other learning disabilities. However, because this condition does not influence specific aspects of education, such as the ability to understand language or the written word, doctors do not usually consider it a learning disorder. https://www.verywellmind.com/is-adhd-a-learning-disability-4116126>>Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is not a learning disability; however, it does make learning difficulthttps://mangoclinic.com/is-adhd-a-learning-disability-or-a-behavioral-disability/>> No, ADHD cannot be classified as a learning disability. While learning disabilities affect skills like reading or math, ADHD affects executive functions like the ability to control impulsive behaviors, emotions, and focus.Cope harder
No. 1443674
File: 1670908089564.png (110.01 KB, 800x800, common-special-interests-autis…)
>>1443223>>1443259What’s the difference between autistic special interest and, well, regular interest/hobby
How do you know?
No. 1443724
>>1443223I literally made my career out of my "special interest" so yeah pretty much that is the only thing that makes me even talk to people, be able to hold a job, and appear like a semi-functional adult to outsiders. My life would be shit if I couldn't engage in it.
>>1443674The difference between a special interest and a normal hobby is supposed to be that a special interest is often more eccentric and specific, and autists tend to become abnormally invested in it. Ofc there would be some overlap with autistic special interests and just extremely obsessive or intense hobbies. Imo it's more handy when describing the behaviour of autistic children. I'd be surprised if a normal 8-years-old child had the hobby of memorizing the latin name and habitat of every pigeon species, or collecting faucets (irl examples).
No. 1443806
>>1441993>You all do this tooNo, I don't do that because I don't inherently feel the need to tell others about all of my thoughts, it's part of my autism. About once every month my boss is shocked to learn I'm a big fan of X band, this has been going on for 2 years now. Normal people do not actually remember small talk, they don't use it as an information exchange, it's just social bonding so the content doesn't matter to them. I don't always know when something should be considered small talk, so I remember it a lot more often than they do.
>>1443032>they're not related at allWhen something has a potential 80% overlap not seen in the rest of the population there is reason to suspect they are in fact somewhat related. Just because you hate people with adhd/autism doesn't make you immune to having one or both. If you have even one relative who is autistic or has adhd you've probably got the genes too. We're all on lc, we're all retards by default.
No. 1443816
>>1443674The intensity of how much you enjoy and indulge in it. For autists it usually lasts "forever" or for very long periods, but like other anon said for people with adhd they can come in the form of hyper fixations that switch more often. I read in the Pixilocks thread recently (she's a typical self diagnosed autist) that she "forgot" to add a special interest to her "special interest sheet" she had posted prior. I'm sure she really liked that thing, but I can't imagine forgetting my special interest even exists.
My special interest got me to a top position of a career related to it without having the formal education for it and instead being self-taught from when I was a child. I got it based on skill.
No. 1445275
>>1443674ayrt and late to the party. I don't. But playing the game with my friend helped me function better than any of my other hobbies did this week. I also haven't heard that non-autists improve with preferred activity in the same way that I experienced and other anons have written here. Even if we don't know the reasons why, observation makes it pretty obvious how autists and non-autists express our interests differently.
Sorry if this is infight, but I don't think your picrel is very good? I've never met an autistic person into "history" other than simplifying things to avoid a spergfest, but I've met lots of us into a specific time period or aspect of history (militaryfags, garbfags, re-enactors, scadians….) Most of our interests aren't that broad and listing categories while pretending they're an autistic person's singular interest seems disingenuous on the chartmaker's part. I hope this makes sense.
No. 1446084
I'm aware this might open a terrible can of worms here but I've heard this argument before, always from extremely high functioning and relatively financially successful autistic women, and it pisses me off.
Firstly, in what meaningful way is this bitch disabled? Sure, she's autistic but it doesn't seem to impede her life in any way. If anything it's garnered her a lot of TikTok/YouTube fame and subsequent wealth. When people talk about aborting disabled fetuses, they're talking about really profound disabilities that will wreck you emotionally and financially. They're not picturing some annoying rich girl who gets weird about certain noises and textures.
Secondly, I didn't even know they could detect autism in the womb. If they are able to, wouldn't it have to be pretty severe? Like to the degree it would majorly affect your cognition and ability to survive on your own? I don't think they'd be able to spot an aspie. So why the fuck is she butting in on this conversation, lumping herself in with all disabled people, when this would never in a million years even apply to her?
She's really caping hard for this Bartise clown as if his opposition is coming from a place of concern for disabled people when he's clearly just a misogynistic prolife moid. He specifically brought up the topic in front of her Catholic family, knowing full well they'd gang up on her for it.
Idc if you call me a eugenicist. If I find out the fetus has a severe disability (that includes severe autism) I'm aborting it. The world doesn't need more autistic kids anyway, especially ones with parents that aren't willing or qualified to put in the effort to raise a kid like that.
I have a feeling most anons on here would disagree with her, but I've heard several autistic women say the same thing so who knows. If I'm wrong and y'all really do all think like this then I agree with
>>1444080 and think we should have separate threads because I don't wanna be lumped in with you if that's the case
No. 1446173
Is there really any benefit in telling someone they are very likely autistic? It's a man I know, he has a lot of conflicts at work because of how inflexible he is, says he can't understand or talk to people at all in his private life, has an interest in fixing old machines and takes everything literally, so you can't even joke around with him. When I ask him if he ever did or tried X, he replies with the exact fucking date of the event, down to the day, even if it was years ago. I once mentioned him how I had an autistic classmate who also remember every street name and date perfectly memorized, and he seemed to take offense to that, because he thinks it's like a thing unique to him. I know the base assumption should be that he's aware of it, but he really does seem to think very black and white, and refuses anything that doesn't fit with his preconception, like I couldn't convince him a man could study to be a nurse or pre-K teacher, because that just doesn't fit with how he sees men. But then again, I'm not sure if it'd change anything.
No. 1446262
File: 1671063813219.png (311.69 KB, 465x474, 345433434.png)
Do people in this thread sometimes feel unable to use discord servers at all? I tried joining unofficial lolcow discord servers before with fun people in them but everyone seemed so normie like a /g/ thread personified that I immediately felt "that way" (idk how to descrive it, you know what I'm talking about though). It literally made me feel like going through high school again, with the normal but kind girls pitying me for being weird and me knowing I was too weird to socialize even through a screen.
No. 1446288
File: 1671064309125.jpg (32.82 KB, 958x960, 1663602450294.jpg)
Does anyone else have this thing where you can't hang with more than one person at a time, so group settings feel absolutely dreadful?
No. 1446327
hey nonas. Am I autistic? I know nobody here can diagnose me, but what do you think?
Disclaimer 1: sorry this is gonna be pretty blogposty and super long. Read it if you want.
Disclaimer 2: I feel like I'm younger than a lot of nonas here, at least the ones who say their age and are in their late 20's or early 30's. I'm in high-school. Totally old enough to be on here though. (and since this is the autist thread. I'll be display some etiquette and clarify that wasn't sarcasm) Anyways I just wanted to clear this up because my "diagnosis" was catalyzed by professionals at school noticing and intervening, and I didn't want to put out to the pasture for saying I'm in high-school.
My sister confided in me that when I was an adolescent my mom had concerns that I had autism but never investigated. What was investigated however, was my inattentiveness and constant stimming, and really poor executive function. This led to an ADHD diagnosis which everyone kind of expected and wasn't contested by anyone. My parents didn't really parent me. Super lenient, no structure, barely did crap for myself. I remember having to get knots cut out of my hair because I wouldn't do basic self-care like brushing my hair or bathing regularly unless explicitly asked to and my sister had to literally teach me how to shower right because for some reason I never picked it up. This was in late childhood, early adolescence. Not willing to go into depth about family because it's a long story, but I switched households and ended up living with my older brother and his wife, (who I call my sister-in-law, or just my sister) who are in their early thirties while I'm a teenager. They become my legal guardians, and are pretty parenting-savvy. Sister finally introduced structure (a lot) and the change was super stressful. At this point I had also been enrolled in 4 different schools within about a 1 and a half year period and moved between three towns. Responded very poorly to the new environment/change, had really inappropriate tantrums and difficult behavior like running away, screaming, hurting myself. When people got too close to me while having a meltdown I'd push them away. Shoved my sister once without knowing she was pregnant, and they kicked me back to my biological mother (which is super reasonable. The baby is fine and very healthy thankfully. Love my nephew.) However, my mom just isn't a good parent, or at the very least not for me, I never did well in the environment of her household. She's mentally unstable with very bad anger issues. Never showed affection well. Flash forward to now, my life is pretty messed up. Ever since I've lived with my mom things went downhill. The two following school years I moved into my mom's house I experienced grade retention in school. So I've literally been a senior for about three years. Was never due to academic struggles or intellectual disability: was evaluated for special education. and everyone agreed I actually learn very quickly, ended up being high IQ and my teachers agreed when I attend and apply myself that my performance surpasses expectations. The issue is I gradually became truant from school, especially since online was so easy to skip. On top of this I've been bounced between inpatient stays and emergency rooms because I get these elevated moods where I'm prone to self-harm and running away, the same ones I used to get when I lived with my brother and sister. Exacerbated by depression probably but psychiatrists realized this was also because of drastic and sudden mood changes, which were fixed after I got put on 10mg of aripiprazole. Left first inpatient stay with a diagnosis of "Bipolar Disorder Not Otherwise Specified" because I didn't have any other typical symptoms of BPD other than having short-term elevated moods. Whether or not I have it doesn't matter cause the meds helped. Started trying to integrate back into school after skipping forever. Struggled socially and still missed at most a week or two at a time before attending again. Saw the counselor after having an unexpected meltdown because the cafeteria was too overwhelming/stimulating, was also not the first time it happened, it happened before in an office where there were tons of inconsequential and barely noticeable noises but they were all overlapping and it was too much for me because I couldn't tune any out. The cafeteria is still super uncomfortable to this day, and they let me eat in the office for lunch. Based on my mannerisms(the way I talked, stimming, pacing around on my toes) my social struggles, as well as citing the stressful environment contributing to my avoidance of school my counselor thought I was autistic. Arranged for me to be tested for special education. School psychologist thinks I'm autistic, and found a lot of symptoms of it during my assessment that I didn't even know I have which has made me re-contextualize my whole childhood and mental health experience. I'm being referred to go to a partial-inpatient service by my psychiatrist to seek a diagnosis. I looked into the diagnosis process and according to the DSM-V I literally meet all the criteria perfectly. For the meantime I got an IEP and the special ed classroom helped drastically and I'm attending school everyday and getting things done(to an extent, it can still be a struggle to complete tasks.) I'm being taught with lots of organized structure as well as explicit sequential instructions, as well as being accommodated where needed like in English where abstract thinking is pretty hard for me and we constantly have to analyze abstract concepts. (I bring this up because I hear this can be difficult for some autistic people, too, which puts further credit to my school psychologists' suspicion that I'm autistic)
Sorry for the wall of text. Basically I think I might be autistic but skeptical because I feel too old for a diagnosis and though my symptoms have definitely been present since early childhood, they are more noticeable now.The fact that they were less noticeable as a kid makes me feel like there's a change I might not have autism, since one of the tenets of the diagnosis are consistent and historic behaviors, which is harder to measure when said behaviors were not as noticeable meaning symptoms were LESS severe as a child. What I've rationalized anyways from my experience: I think that my ADHD and Bipolar-NOS was a misdiagnosis of autism symptoms that were painted as something else, because I masked well enough, so nobody really suspected autism. Skeptical because I feel like my sensory issues gradually got worse as I aged, which isn't supposed to happen I think. I'm pretty sure sensory sensitivities caused by autism are consistent in severity from birth. They all got worse after I experienced all those changes in my life with family and school and towns. So my other rationalization which may or may not be true, is that because of the increased social demands of high-school, stress and "autistic burnout" has made my symptoms and general maladjustment caused by them much more noticeable, prompting such a late diagnosis. Can someone please tell me if they're diagnosed but had more severe symptoms later in life so I know whether it's possible or not for the two to not be mutually exclusive? Also anyone who had been misdiagnosed before finding out they were autistic, hearing your experience would be very interesting and helpful. And another thing I'd be interested in hearing about is any autistic nonas being medicated and whether or not it helps. I am on medicine from my bipolar and ADHD diagnosis but they're still helpful to me…
No. 1446505
File: 1671077705899.jpg (44.49 KB, 520x390, owlwarningsign.jpg)
>>1446262I loathe Discord and refuse to use it under any circumstances, which has probably contributed to me not having a wider friend group or even contacts. Oh well! No regrets in the least.
No. 1446695
>>1446272you're right and i hate it. people love the "quirky" guy or girl who's probably autistic until they realize it can be hard to communicate with them normally or that they have more things than just their "odd" traits aka an actual personality. I don't even know if I'm an autist but I hate that people read between the lines where there is nothing. It is exhausting. do not project weird thoughts or gossip onto me thanks.
>>1446288group stuff feels like such a scam for time because everyone always has their favorite friend or coworker there. then due to having a hard time communicating normally with small talk it is even harder when multiple conversations are going on.
No. 1446856
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>>1446262>>1446776the way I see those discord groups is: it feels as if you're forced to socialize with people who aren't even your friends to begin with (even if you have things in common) and put up a nice face for them and god forbid you say the wrong thing or act weird. There's always the popular users too that always demand attention and it's just a mess. I always feel like I'm walking on eggshells on those social situations. I also dislike being ignored and feeling like an outcast in general, so I avoid it. Discord servers and any chat room in general feels like a chore, I want to be happy, chill, and calm by myself on my days off so joining a discord server where people talk 24/7 about their own personal lives and strong opinions is exhausting. It's like a chore. Like going to work and having to listen to your coworkers. I always end up feeling this even if people in the server are nice. Reminds me of school way too much or those parties your friend invites you to that you didn't want to go to begin with. My social battery is just too low and even if I can mask pretty well and be 'normal' and 'socialize' it all just feels like I'm doing it for nothing. I never have fun. I never care too much. I hate lying to myself. I hate having to put on a facade so people don't think I'm strange, specially in my very precious free time. Even if the people in the server are cool and based and kind etc it's just not for me. This type of thing has never been for me. It does give me some guilt, but being neurodivergent reminds me I also have my own needs.
It's even worse when the people in the group don't understand this and think it's just a matter of "joining in the fun" and "just speaking to others". It's overwhelming. I like keeping things to myself, I like being private, I like being by myself. I don't like being asked annoying personal questions, specially not in the middle of a chat room. I've been put on blast before by people who simply don't understand I don't want to share my life both IRL and online because people simply don't. get. it. And then they say "well you were the one talking in the first place" completely ignoring the fact they were the one who cornered me into replying to them. They never understand. They always want some juicy gossip from the weird outsider girl, whatever. I bet they all talk shit about me on their DMs and speculate shit just like people at school did. And then they dress it up as 'concern'. It feels violating to me because I'm already someone with trust issues that takes her time to really open up and I am not super talkative that easily unless I feel reassured that I can talk (or 'sperg out' if you will). It's so obvious when people are just pulling up with you instead of being interested in what you say too. I'm tired.
Social situations are just a hassle, everyone wants their time to shine and I can't keep up. Paying attention all the time to everything everyone says is overwhelming. This happens even when I only keep myself to a few channels, it's not how many I can take, it's the fact I don't want to 'take' any of them. It's easier to just sense the mood of 1 person when they talk to you vs not knowing how more than 3 people at the same time will react to what you said.
So yeah I would only keep discord to talk to people who are already your friends, people who actually love and cherish the real you and not just the socialized version of yourself. And I would only keep it on DMs too.
Any thoughts nonnies?
No. 1449101
>>1448950>I always fail to root for the right characterscan definitely relate to this. both the personal situation (totally agree with you on that) and the conflict of following media who push a "correct" moral code that you don't necessarily subscribe to. one that came to mind recently was when I watched The Devil Wears Prada and everyone started hating on Hathaway's character for being
selfish because she was too busy with her new job. I thought her boyfriend and friends were assholes for not cutting her some slack in her stressful new job. But she has to grovel to make it up to them, even though she is dealing with so much pressure already.
Also, the kind that
really winds me up is when the main villain character, or the one we're meant to hate, is a person who keeps themselves to themselves, doesn't join in on all the "fun" and is kind of "weird" so everyone is justified in hating this character, because these things make them evil. and then - even worse - when the character has a redemption arc and suddenly changes their entire personality, becoming a stupid, joyous, brainless moron like the rest of the characters and only then are they accepted.
No. 1449116
>>1449101I think a lot of people these days do think Anne’s bf is the real villain of the film for not supporting Anne. Her friends aren’t great either.
It’s ok to have your own opinion of these things, even if it goes against what everyone else is feeling. A good movie/book/etc can be read many ways by different people.
No. 1449129
>>1449116it's just the way some media frames it in a forceful way sometimes. I know things are open to interpretation otherwise and don't have a problem with that.
good to know about the Devil Wears Prada thing. it seems so obvious that the boyfriend is manipulative when you watch it back. yet he is framed as the
victim that she needs to win back with a personal sacrifice. bleurgh.
No. 1449135
After having multiple mental health professionals tell me they think I'm autistic, I've been researching it a lot. It makes sense. There's something I'm concerned about, though… I've been reading experiences of self-diagnosed adults with ASD going through the official diagnosis process and they all seem to share something, that even I relate to, and I think it provides a conflict of interest in terms of actually getting diagnosed. A lot of them say "I'm scared that when I see the psychiatrist, they'll screen me and tell me that I don't have it. I won't come across as 'autistic enough.'" This boggles me. Why are people scared to not be autistic? Shouldn't you be relieved, even? What I think it is: some people get so tunnel-vision in self-diagnosis. Difficulty making friends? *Impaired social communication
skills Clumsy? Motor planning deficit Poor handwriting? Problems with fine motor coordination* Massive
stamp/coin/doll/baseball card/lego collections? Abnormally intense interests Not a hugger? Tactile defensiveness. It becomes an explanation for everything, to a point where I think it becomes hard to accept that it is anything other than autism. It has to be autism. And at this point I think a lot of people struggle to take anything else for an answer. I think it's kind of about seeking validation, that you have a valid reason to have all these idiosyncrasies and struggles. That you're not just weird or mentally broken, that it's not your fault. At this point, are you seeking diagnosis to make yourself feel better? Do you genuinely think you have autism and need accommodations or do you just want to have it to rationalize your own behavioral patterns? I've started wondering if I've fallen into this trap too. Have any other nonas noticed this phenomenon and felt it themselves? And again, why do you think someone would be scared to "fail" their autism diagnosis/screening?
No. 1449138
>>1449101>a person who keeps themselves to themselves, doesn't join in on all the "fun" and is kind of "weird" so everyone is justified in hating this characterI hate reading about people’s real life encounters with celebrities as most of them are something like “she was so friendly and we chatted for ages” or “I worked on a set with her and she went into her trailer after filming while everyone else sat around chatting. So stuck up”.
People are so entitled to other people’s time and energy, even if you aren’t famous. Hairdressers are the worst. You pay them for a service and then you are also expected to provide an hour’s entertainment on top. I had one get huffy at my for working on my phone during the appointment.
No. 1449157
>>1449138Absolutely. it's one of my biggest pet peeves. the person who fits that description must be deliberately being mean, snobby, stuck up, rude etc. and never "this person likes their own space, this person likes quiet, this person is tired or this person has boundaries." I do get called cold and stuck up, for simply doing my own thing sometimes. People are so self-centered and demanding of attention that anything short of 100% focus on them is considered an affront.
>Hairdressers are the worstOne of the many, many, many reasons I don't go to the hairdressers is the constant chat that is expected (along with the noise, smells, expense and potential for them changing your hair
too much).
No. 1449264
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>>1449150I like devil wears praga but feel like it's a product of its time, the early 2000s. Sure isn't high art but it's entretaining.
>>1449101>is a person who keeps themselves to themselves, doesn't join in on all the "fun" and is kind of "weird" so everyone is justified in hating this character, because these things make them evil. and then - even worse - when the character has a redemption arc and suddenly changes their entire personality, becoming a stupid, joyous, brainless moron like the rest of the characters and only then are they accepted.God I hate this fucking trope so fucking much and the fact that it happens to tomboyish or gnc women in media, or women who are bookworms or really quiet/shy, makes me SUPER angry. It's such a cheap storytelling resource and such a bad outdated joke. They also only do it so the extroverted neurotypicals don't feel bad for laughing at us even more and gives them a free pass to become even more pushy. Sometimes I even feel it must be government propaganda so everyone consumes more alcohol and has sex or some shit idk. NOT EVERYONE has to change into a social butterfly that wears hyper feminine dresses, in fact most of us would hate to be changed. I was memed into this and now I regret it so much. I hate when people are so pushy because "omg but your life is sooooo boringgggg you're losing the best years of your life to being inside" etc. Fucking assholes. At least nowadays with the stupid tiktok """""autism""""" and """"adhd"""" trend people are starting to wake up and realize we all have different brains and different needs even if you're not neurodivergent and just antisocial or introverted.
No. 1449300
>>1449035Yes, please. There's so many autistics that discussion of ADHD is always drowned out.
By the way who else is out of adderall? I called my doctor to ask for an alternative and the fucking nurse wouldn't listen to me and talked over me to tell me to keep calling pharmacies. How far out of town am I supposed to look??
No. 1449301
>>1449264It’s kind of interesting to think that people these days are more aware of ableism when it comes to physical issues but not other aspects (unless it’s ~depression~). For example, no one is going to write a Richard III type play where the bad guy has a physical deformity but people seem fine giving villains social “deformities” such as being a loner. I know murders etc are more likely to be loners but not all loners are murderers.
I saw people today complaining about Elon saying he has a monotone voice and no friends. I don’t like Elon and I’m not trying to defend him but he’s open about having autism and so people mocking him for his symptoms seems like ableism. No one seems to notice that though.
No. 1449397
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>>1449389>I can’t believe in this day and age people with bad genes are still knowingly having children.tell that to Elon Musk kek
>Billionaires Like Elon Musk Want to Save Civilization By Having Tons of Genetically Superior Kids.https://longreads.com/2022/11/17/billionaires-like-elon-musk-want-to-save-civilization-by-having-tons-of-genetically-superior-kids/Mind you he has like 1 or 2 autistic sons, one abomination with grimes (poor kid tbh), and another one who is a tranny
No. 1449940
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>>1449597Ok Becky, stop scaring us why don’t you?
No. 1450037
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Does anyone else feel super insanely angry when other people tell you what to do with your life?
Context: I'm a neet but I don't plan to stay a neet forever, I just want to do art as my livehood. It's all I live for and all I want.
I just want to be left alone and work from home and I know things will take time so I'm not rushing myself because I hate the stress and can't handle it very well without exploding on people. If people in my life didn't make me feel like shit for not having a soul sucking retail job instead of focusing on the only thing that makes me happy, then I would feel as happy as I can be. But there's a moid in my life that I love very much that happens to be also autistic who keeps pushing the idea that I NEED a job that I don't want in the the first place and losing my patience and my time to it is the way to go. But I simply don't want to. He's micromanaging me and acting like a parent even THOUGH he works at home and does animation as a job. What the hell can I do so he leaves me the fuck alone? Whenever it comes to his autism I always, ALWAYS let him be by himself and try to be understanding. I wish he wasn't as stubborn as he is.
No. 1450094
>>1450062>>1450047I don't live with him tho
>>1450045>got a large followingNah, trust me it's not always how it works, not in the industry I want to get into anyway. I just need to capitalize on it.
No. 1450304
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>>1446262>>1446856I found this discord server which is sort of inactive but otherwise neat. Everyone there seems to have the same approach to fandom as me and there isn't a vent channel or something equally as stupid but I still have a hard time making any friendships there
>it feels as if you're forced to socialize with people who aren't even your friends to begin withthat's how it feels for me too. There are the popular users in the group but they are already friends and already have their own inside jokes. I know that they already have their own private discord where they discuss this niche fandom so that's why this server is inactive because everyone already has their clique.
Also to fully understand the discussion happening in the server you need to follow the bigshot users twitter and tumblr to get the full context of what they are talking about. but their twitters and tumblrs is just them talking to their close friends so it's not fun following them either. So I can't use discord for niche fandoms can't use twitter or tumblr either.
>I bet they all talk shit about me on their DMs and speculate shit just like people at school did.Same here. I just suck at talking with people so I always come off as weird in the servers I'm in. I know people are discussing in the DMs whenever I say something awkward or come of as too cold or come off as too friendly. I hate it so much I'm trying my best to make friends in my niche fandom but at the end of the day im just too off putting and weird
No. 1450332
>>1450037if you think you're
too special for a regular job i feel no sympathy for what happens to you. when you say youre taking your time you tell on yourself that you dont think starting your actual adult life is a priority
No. 1450347
>>1450037I've been a NEET for a long time and don't see anything wrong with being a NEET if you have a plan to take care of yourself but it also isn't that big a criticism to suggest your bf isn't totally in the wrong for thinking you should get a job. Depending on your circumstances it might be a good idea.
>>1450332You're in the autism thread retard.
No. 1450642
>>1450037If I’m understanding correctly, the problem is him being a control freak? Assuming you are financially independent from him and this is him literally just deciding what he thinks is best for you, then he sounds a lot like my ex who was also autistic. Honestly, I found it impossible to get him to stop micromanaging me and insisting on what I
should do all the time. In my case, I couldn't do anything right. Hopefully your boyfriend is a lot nicer in other ways though. You need to put your foot down and tell him to stop and maybe reassure him that this is your plan and why you are content with it. He doesn't have to fully understand or agree with it but he does have to accept it. It's not for him to decide.
If you actually
do need some more money and structure too, then you might benefit from what I do which is working part time WFH job (that’s all I can manage with my health issues) and then work on my hobby job whenever I can. It brings in some money but isn’t consistent, but at least the part time job is my safety net for bills. I did work retail in my teens/early twenties and do not recommend it. Burnt me out.
No. 1450707
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>>1450323hey thanks for this reply, I think I will consider this and check what craft stores I have available in my area. Thanks sweet anon, I also have my reasons why I am a NEET currently it's more than just having autism, I am very happy for your post and I appreciate it a lotl
>>1450332>if you think you're too special for a regular job Never said I was too special for one KEK, I simply said I can't take stress too well hence why I feel retail to be soul sucking… even neurotypicals think this lmao
>i feel no sympathy for what happens to youthanks no one asked for your sympathy
>>1450356>I was high functioning when I was a teen but had a traumatic burnout/breakdown eventually and now I'm a neet focusing on art. This is exactly what I'm going through, I finished college (barely) not too long ago and I've been burnt out ever since, there's some other mental and emotional issues I have to deal with and I'm just taking it easy. It wasn't until last year that I was diagnosed.
>So just ignore it anon. What's important is that slowly you're working towards something that will make you as "normal" and idependent as possible and doesn't make you suffer too much.Thank you very very much for being understanding, it's not that I don't want to work. It's just that things are difficult in my mind atm. I was always a hard worker since I was a kid, always waking up at 5am to go to school, always giving out more than necessary because I would hyperfixate on studying. It's only now that I am finally resting but even resting is stressful when no one in your life understands it. I want to do art.
>>1450642>Honestly, I found it impossible to get him to stop micromanaging me and insisting on what I should do all the time. In my case, I couldn't do anything right. Hopefully your boyfriend is a lot nicer in other ways though. You need to put your foot down and tell him to stop and maybe reassure him that this is your plan and why you are content with it. He doesn't have to fully understand or agree with it but he does have to accept it. It's not for him to decide. That's exactly the issue… him micromanaging everything for me. I never even asked lol he's just like "alright do this". I have reassured him many times about what my plans are and why I'm taking it easy. I don't want to take it easy forever, I'm actually building up so I start immediately focusing on things better this january. I also am off meds (cant get them where I live) and my adhd makes me distracted. Idk what I'm saying anymore, but thank you for also being nice anon
No. 1450807
>>1450037Fuck everyone else anon, I’m glad to see you following what you want. No one is going to look back on their life and wished they did more retail work and less art. Not to mention that those types of jobs are not suitable for most autists.
I wasted most of my 20s following what other people wanted for me and trying to support myself with stressful and
abusive jobs. Still trying to claw my way out of that. I wish I had taken some time out to decide what
I wanted and then worked towards that instead.
The only thing I would say is to make sure you stay motivated and actually make progress, though it sounds like you have a clear goal in mind.
No. 1450832
>>1450828Because they were
abusive and forcing me to do things I did not want and that got me nowhere. I cut contact with them, not the other way around.
No. 1450834
>>1450832You cut contact with them because you're a lazy entitled autist who thinks being realistic to the reality of the world is your parents being "
abusive" when they were probably trying to help you. Most people, even some seasoned artists can't live off their art their entire life. Get a job.
No. 1450884
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>>1450834nonnies who are leeching off their parents wont like this one
No. 1450947
>>1450811>>1450834KEKKK the absolute narc rage and projection, keep being slaved the current
abusive socio economic environment then. Not everyone has to be the same as you, chill out bitch.
>even some seasoned artists can't live off their art their entire life.Sorry that you are so narrow minded and poisoned by the artfag thread that you think this is in any case true kek
No. 1450952
>>1450834>NARCYou all sound simultaneously like
triggered tumblrfags who cry ableism at the prospect of work and unwashed basement dwellers who live off their parents and call people "wagie"
No. 1451904
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I'm not sure if this is common amongst autists since it isn't a diagnosis criteria but I reeeeally struggle with spelling. I suspect that it's due to my autism diagnosis since I have been tested for dyslexia before but I have no trouble with reading and reading comprehension. But I can't spell and I have trouble with wording sentences in writing which did worry a bunch of my teachers growing up. It's also just embarrassing not being able to spell as an adult. Whenever I have to share my notes with my studygroup it's full of spelling errors and they laugh at it. I specially struggle with spelling names (both first and surnames) and people always gets mad when I spell their names wrong. Not that I blame them but it's just frustrating
No. 1451921
>>1451904can I ask, do you
know the spelling of things but still make mistakes? Like if I pointed out a mistake you made, would you wonder why you made the mistake or is it that you just don't know how to spell things generally?
Because I have problems with spelling, wording and general errors but it includes things I
know usually. I just get muddled and mixed up a lot. I make a lot of silly errors generally and I'm sure people think I'm a fucking idiot for it. Not sure if it's related to autism though. Would be interested to see if other people relate to it.
>people always get mad when i spell their names wrongI get this a lot too. People are so uppity about their name spellings. I have a name that people
always spell wrong because it's different to the common spelling and I don't take it personally. It's only an issue when it's for official documentation, really.
No. 1452174
>>1451904I’ve always been bad a spelling. Not so bad that’s it obvious something is wrong but my spelling abilities were always lower than everything else at school at it was embarrassing.
I also have this thing where if I’m writing under pressure, such as in an exam, I will not write the word I want but a word that rhymes and not know it. For example, I will want to write “sleep” but I will write “deep” instead and be completely oblivious to what I have done. I mentioned this in my ADHD assessment but I can’t remember the context.
I don’t do that when typing, but sometimes I miss out words when typing and don’t realise.
I also have some dispraxic tendencies (slow reactions, weak, clumsy) but not enough for anyone to suggest I have to see a doctor. I guess once when you’re on the spectrum you can have parts of them all.
No. 1453107
>>1451904 >>1451925
you are dyslexic
>>1452174you are dyslexic
No. 1454759
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lc disruptions messing up my routine and making me uncomfy
No. 1454993
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Got ear plugs for christmas and it doesn't help with misophonia like I hoped. The noises of my family eating, drinking etc. still makes me want to rip my skin off. I had high hopes.
No. 1455557
>>1455492>>1455496He sounds r*tarded himself if he thinks you have to meet the male stereotype exactly.
Women tend to fixate on more “normal” things like tv shows and go under the radar. And autists in general aren’t emotionless robots. We just show emotions differently.
No. 1455604
>>1455557Yeah, that's what I think too, yet he is more inclined to believe I have a severe case of social anxiety, but if I do, why didn't the meds work and he told me that "that's who I am"? That's were I'm at a loss kek.
Also, I also commented that I can't bear the noises of chewing, barking, or screaming children and how they makes my head hurt and also makes me extremely angry, just to name a thing,, but that seemed to fly over the radar
No. 1455649
>>1455604I was diagnosed with social anxiety when I was young, and now I got over that social anxiety (or at least 80% over it) and am still autistic and choose to be alone most of the time. I was diagnosed a few years after that. it's not necessarily socialising that stressed me, it's not knowing the unspoken rules, or being able to read people's reactions, eye contact, saying the wrong things, general overwhelm of being around people etc. that creates the anxiety in a lot of cases. Also, for me, I just never felt the desire or need to socialise, where as people with social anxiety are usually wanting to fit in but are just shy/nervous - it usually comes from a place of insecurity. Of course, autistic people can experience social anxiety in addition. I'm not an expert or anything but that's my understanding of it. Might be worth thinking about what specifically makes you anxious when socialising.
>can't bear the noises of chewingI'm the anon a bit further up who complained about chewing noises with my family. misophonia is very common among autistic people but again can just be related to anxiety. maybe bring in some information on autistic women (from a psychiatric source) for your psychiatrist to read.
No. 1460498
>>1458431Don’t listen to him then since he doesn’t know about this topic, if you can’t access a proper specialist do your own further research, read more articles about autism in women, and research coping skills and strategies for people with autism and specific issues you may face (like sensory overload, meltdowns, shutdowns, burnout, and so on) and see what helps you. Since resources for autistic women and autistic adults are such garbage in general, you can basically just help yourself without a diagnosis anyway and it makes little difference.
I ended up getting diagnosed last year and my therapist told me to lean on the support of online communities and forums for autistic women. So even browsing a board like this is in line with what you should be doing even WITH a formal diagnosis.
No. 1460890
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do any of you have problem eating healthily because of food texture issues? there are only a few vegetables that I deem trustworthy in terms of being the same, consistent texture each time i cook them (potatoes, carrots, peppers, peas, onions) and I'm ok with soup as long as it's the right consistency, but there is only one recipe i really like so far.
it's hard to get enough nutrition and variety in meals with those limitations. I've heard air-frying helps because it makes things more crisp and crunchy. can anyone attest to that? they're half price in the sales right now so i'm tempted.
>what are your favourite vegetables and fruits or safe foods?
>how do you prepare/cook them?
>does anything help you with food aversion?
No. 1460925
>>1460890i have struggled with ARFID as a result of sensory issues since around age 2, but have gotten to a much better state recently. the most important advice i can give you is to 1. be in a place and situation you feel safe in when trying new foods and 2. if you like the taste and not the texture, or if you like the food but your stomach hurts after because your gut microbiome is not used to a food outside of your safe foods, be open to trying again. i only ate basically bread for nearly 20 years with peanut butter as my protein source, but now i can eat many types of meat and vegetables as long as they're well prepared with around 2 years of dedicated attempts to get better.
>what are your favourite vegetables and fruits or safe foods?favorite fruits are fuji apples (very sweet and consistent), and bananas (consistent as long as they are the same stage). both of these are inoffensive texture wise (no seeds). vegetable-wise, i really like asparagus, green beans are okay too.
>how do you prepare/cook them? i usually eat fruit raw, and sautee vegetables in a considerable amount of butter. i like things like celery and carrots but only in chicken noodle soup, which is a very new and advanced addition to my diet and i have to physically watch or help my boyfriend prepare it in order to stomach it
>does anything help you with food aversion? being around someone supportive who will eat the rest of your food if you can't finish something you've tried helps me tons. try not to eat foods for the first time at restaurants, it can be very stressful. also always try to look at the menu before you go. in terms of taking the first step, i could literally feel my body wasting away from nutrition deficiency as i got more and more sick, so that was a motivator to try to work through the aversions. also don't beat yourself up on bad days when you fall back on your safe foods, and don't be afraid to use them as a reward, for example the other day i let myself have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich later on in the evening for finishing my bowl of soup at dinner.
No. 1460962
>>1460925thank you for the genuinely helpful reply nona! sorry you’ve had this issue. but that’s great you have someone to support you and to eat leftovers. that’s one of the biggest things that bothers me is the amount of food i waste, because i literally cannot make myself eat something that feels
off without wanting to flip out and/or vomit. my ex boyfriend would eat everything for me but not without shaming me or getting annoyed with how much of a “baby” i am. but I don’t have to deal with that anymore at least kek.
health and feeling weak, under nourished is definitely my biggest motivator. i like your idea of using a safe food after eating the “new” food as an encouragement.
also glad you mentioned asparagus because there was an asparagus risotto recipe I liked once and totally forgot about it, until you mentioned. adding that to my list. happy new year and hope that you continue to be healthier and enjoy more variety of foods! sounds like you’re doing really great.
No. 1461007
>>1460962happy new year to you too and best wishes to your eating journey! hopefully trying the risotto again goes well and you find a support circle that won't shame you for something you can't control. hopefully letting yourself eat a safe food after trying a new one helps for you too, i've found it helps me vomit less as well.
all in all, sending hugs and well wishes to u!
No. 1461020
>>1460890This was an issue for me growing up but I’ve really adjusted. Soup and stew is good, curry is great, I make a lot of golden curry. Anything you can fry is good too (like frying to add to ramen or pasta or a sandwich or burrito etc), people will complain it’s not healthy or whatever but cooking vegetables in a small amount of frying olive oil is better than not eating any at all IMO. Smoothies can have nuts, seeds, and spinach added. A leaf of kale can be chopped up extremely finely and cooked into pasta sauce so that it basically disappears. Spinach basically disappears into anything if you cut it up finely and cook it in. Eating a few baby carrots while cooking a meal is easy for me. Also, I do this because I’m a powerlifter, but I have vegetable based protein powder basically every day, and my bloodwork has been totally impeccable and better than ever, even though I feel like I’ve actually been more lax on micronutrients for years.
I essentially gave up on any vegetable I hate and doubled down on the ones I like.
No. 1462552
>>1462405ayrt. right? I felt like it amplified noises and made them crisper. they definitely did something, maybe just smoothed out background noise (which i actually want MORE of in certain situations). very strange and not sure i have any use for them. they have great marketing for something that i cannot imagine helping autistic people.
i was thinking of noise cancelling headphones. do you think they're still worth it then? white noise is the only thing that works for me. i was thinking of just keeping white noise on the headphones but it's not the same as silence and gives you a headache after a while.
>grandmother constantly whispering to herself through her dentures while clacking themno offence to your grandma but this made me want to die, just reading it. my cat licking herself is a big problem for me. ugh.
No. 1462744
>>1462611ayrt
i've never really thought of it as ''masking'', more of me just being a creep, so thats probably whats holding me back, people always say that it's only me who thinks im creepy, etc. thanks for your insight… i'll try and follow your advice nona.
repost because i forgot to sage fml
No. 1462762
>>1462744ntayrt but i have felt the same before and still do sometimes. i think it is a combination of what
>>1462611 says - even if you don't see it as masking, the pressure might be making you feel like you're trying to hard or overthinking how you're acting around them.
the other thing is - are you used to primarily socialising with your boyfriend? and perhaps previous boyfriends or male friends, more so than women? because i was a tomboy as a kid (and then unfortunately an nlog when i was a teen) so got used to speaking with men. i also got on better with my dad because we are similar. and i think the way women + men talk (particularly straight dynamic) is very different. when you're autistic it's hard to be flexible with how you communicate with people based on what you've already learned, so you may feel
creepy transferring that communication style you share with men onto women? especially if it could be described as flirty. you might not be purposely being flirtatious, just that you might have learned it from men, is what i mean. maybe this is dumb but i feel like there is something to it.
anyway, i adore women and have always wanted to be friends with them instead of men, i just felt a bit alienated from the other women around me. i do feel like this is common among autistic women.
No. 1463186
>>1463079Singing along to songs or humming songs to pass the time while bored or doing chores. Shaking your hands when you’re excited. Biting your nails, popping pimples or picking at scabs. Taking momentary, normal interest in any kind of vaguely niche hobby, or even any hobby at all, and they frame it as a special interest suddenly. Those are some of the dumbest examples I’ve seen social media posers give as evidence of their “autism.” All kinds of completely normal shit that normies desperately want to be some proof of how special and unique they are (since they have nothing else to show for it), and meanwhile they know literally nothing about the struggles of being disabled.
I’ve also seen a lot of obvious trendhopper posers really harp on their “superhuman autistic pattern recognition” and they’re referring to like, noticing completely normal and obvious things about the world or other people, but they want people to see them as Sherlock Holmes for the sake of their stereotyped LARP.
No. 1463220
>>1462762TAYRT,
i totally relate on the male relationships aspect, especially how i get along more with my dad. when I was younger, like early teens, I was groomed a lot because of how much I used the Internet and associated being loved with being safe..I try not to be flirty because I don't want to flirt with women, I just want to be able to make some sort of advance or start a conversation without feeling like a huge creep, or like they instantly hate me? I mostly associate it with me being quiet as fuck in highschool and girls being nasty to me as a result has given me some pretty bad anxiety, i love girls too and i have female friends that are irl and on lolcow, just being friends with them is so much harder than it has to be
No. 1463502
>>1463110>>1463176>>1463186These are all legitimate though. Autistic people have been shown in tests to have a stronger sense of fairness. Autistic people don’t like bright artificial lights. Autistic women go under the radar as they often obsess over more normal things. Skin picking is a very common symptom for women.
I’m not saying one symptom is enough to diagnose but sneering at someone thinking they might have autism and showing legitimate symptoms helps no one. Not everyone is able to get assessed and some people mask better than others.
You guys are being really autistic when you complain about these things.
No. 1463803
>>1463502i was having a think of silly things i've heard when i read the op's question but all of the seemingly ridiculous little things i could come up with were all actually explained by sperg traits, so.
the problem is most people will relate to one of the many things people claim are traits. so it's having normal quirks or behaviours (like listening to your favourite song on repeat a few times and "sometimes i like to be alone to unwind") and thinking you're autistic because of that. but you can't really pick out one thing and say it's not related to autism.
No. 1463845
>>1463502I believe people like Jillian have autism as much as I believe men can become women anon. Autism is a medical condition and comes with limited resources and accommodations. There’s enough misinformation out there as it is. We don’t need kids who view it as an easy explanation for their unchecked pd to grasp on to it or NT that want a special “identity.” If you get diagnosed because you want a “community” you probably aren’t autistic. Autism impacts your relationships, your sensory need, your level of function, your ADL’s. TikTok fakers focus on one or two quirky symptoms and think it’s their entire personality. They think owning a stim toy makes them autistic or owning a deck of tarot cards makes them a high priestess witch. They’re shallow people who lack identity and are larping a real medical condition.
It’s why they never discuss coping with AFRAID with actual therapy solutions, sensory diets, or any actual coping.
No. 1471530
File: 1673585542556.png (410.79 KB, 500x307, 36ZEWR1.png.b2f4a96d3dfe69b6f6…)
Have any other autist anons noticed that they really don't get along with cluster Bs? I feel like neurotypicals have a way higher tolerance for their catty histrionics than I do. I've literally loathed every single bippie and bipolar person I've ever met. My previous two jobs each had a bippie, and both times I either quit or was fired because of conflict with them. They often get away with it, too, because they're more "fun" and "likeable" than us apparently boring autists. Now there's a bipolar girl at my current job, and predictably, she's been a giant bitch. I don't want to ruin another work environment because a cluster B shithead antagonized me, so I'm trying to be as careful as possible.
I just can't fucking stand it, someone please round up all the cluster Bs and make them live on an island away from everyone else.
No. 1471614
>>1471530Cluster Bs seem to love me at first but the feeling is not mutual. Apparently I make for good FP fuel and anyone who has been one of those "favorites" knows how much it sucks. idgi I don't even mask well, I'm just that friendly flavor of retard until someone's mean enough to knock me out of it, I have no idea how or why they think I'm cognitively equipped to handle their emotional reasoning.
I'd really like to just get along with them, but legitimately every bipolar, bippie, and narc I've ever befriended has either treated me horribly or done something awful enough to mutual friends that I can't be near them in good conscience. Nowadays I don't bother socially and use the "Conflicting access needs" twitterspeak as an excuse to why I don't. Autism is a disability, and enough of us have impairment to our ability to read emotional cues that it's a diagnostic feature. I tell people it's as unreasonable to expect me to understand and communicate via cluster b emotional reasoning as it is to expect a blind person to understand and communicate via sign language. This doesn't always endear me to others, but it's kept me from falling down the FP hole again.
No. 1471717
>>1471530I feel like I actually tolerate women with BPD better than most people I’ve seen do because I view all their actions through the lens of psychoanalysis or whatever, like I see their behaviors as lists of traits out of a textbook, and I just go “ohh wow. That seems really tough. Wow I hope things get better” and I basically view them the way I view children who scream and act out. Also, while I don’t relate to making dumb decisions or acting maliciously out of emotion, I’ve had enough catastrophic autist meltdowns in my life that somehow I feel compassionate towards their freakouts. Like when girls with BPD self harm and threaten to off themselves, even though they do it in a public theatrical way to get a desired outcome from other people, I sort of can’t help but look at it and think it’s similar to my own meltdowns where I cry and hit myself. Both are retarded I guess kek and I sort of imagine they also just feel it’s impossible to control themselves.
Also like someone else said I’ve also had experience with cluster Bs sort of flocking to me and copying things I do, which can be both flattering and annoying. I feel like that’s common, that normies searching for identity often emulate autistic girls, because we have true uniqueness and don’t usually wait for society’s approval or a trend or someone else to follow our interests and express ourselves. And cluster Bs always copy people who seem to have a real identity and passion because they envy that. I’ve had so many of them blatantly copy my whole image and hobbies and then they later move on to some other more attention grabbing crap like onlyfans or drag or whatever.
No. 1473098
File: 1673721489512.jpeg (256.6 KB, 828x1385, BFF6892B-4387-478D-81DF-9D68FD…)
why are allistics like this
No. 1473135
File: 1673725691132.jpeg (59.46 KB, 275x269, 1672973938840.jpeg)
Do stimulants just… stop working after a while? I've taken ritalin for 10+ years and I don't feel like it really has any effect on me anymore. I don't think I have depression but I do have extremely low energy and even after taking ritalin I just want to lie down. I'm not sure if I should just stop taking it for a while and try to reset things. Is my dopamine system just completely fucked up?
No. 1474380
Please offer me advice for overcoming executive dysfunction hurdles, specifically in my studies and overwhelm due to details. For instance, I struggle to study from my textbook, because the pages are so full and the text feels incoherent. I also struggle to make a planner which includes my academic responsibilities, life responsibilities and personal goal tasks, in such a way that I don't neglect either and can work toward long- and short-term goals alike. I've been reading various articles on the matter, yet am still searching. Please do share whatever you may know! My focus for detail is a great obstacle. Yesterday my professor gave enlightening insight, after I shared my hardship with her: „Although others may overlook the details and patterns you observe, providing them with smoother academic progression, your thorough nature will ultimately grant you the most knowledge and best understanding of the subject.” It was comforting, alongside inspiring, as it is discouraging for me to struggle academically where I usually never do and actually excel. But I now realise it is due to my autism that I meet obstacles, not my intelligence. Therefore, I hope to work with my autism, so my potential can blossom the way it is destined to!
No. 1474403
File: 1673870513687.jpg (9.97 KB, 170x187, furby.jpg)
can anyone offer advice on adult autism diagnosis in the UK? i finally earn enough money to look at going private but i don't even know where to start. how do i tell my GP i think i'm autistic? are there any ND britbongs out there with experience in this?
No. 1474414
>>1474388Not any of the anons above, but your description of autism makes me feel hopeless… I don't know if I'm an autist (I probably am, or I'm an "aspie" at least because I've always been a little weird) but once I reached 17 years old I turned into a different person. It's like I'm not a human anymore, I can't function normally but it's something I can't exactly pinpoint either. I can focus on something, I could probably hold a job for at least a month, but everything else falls apart. I remember struggling to keep something down during my first job for months. After I graduated my body was in shambles and I had to be hospitalized because I just couldn't eat and digest anything.
How can someone overcome this? I'm a neet now but I absolutely want to "become normal" eventually, but I genuinely fear my body won't be able to handle it for some reason. Are there tricks to at least seem normal while being autistic or am I doomed to be a useless neet forever? To think I wanted to study hard in university and have a high income job.
No. 1474441
File: 1673876273111.jpg (454.66 KB, 2048x2897, Tumblr_l_591741591947287.jpg)
Idk if I'm an autist/aspergers haver or deeply fucked up socially due to a great childhood. My parents called me one and in my high-school years people were uncharacteristically nice to me for that age bc I'm pretty sure they/some teachers decided that I'm peacefully mental. I notice social cues (maybe even too sensitive to that), can read the room, can hold a light convo, but I ignore them a lot too, look so impassive it's off-putting to others if I don't force myself to act up and generally fucking awkward. On the other hand, it's hard for me to stop talking about things that excite me, even if I see that the other person lost interest. I don't like crowds/too much noise/too much stimuli, tho I handle them okay. On sensory stuff, honestly no idea. I think I trained myself to live in discomfort long ago tbh.
I've been to a psychiatrist, but we talked about depression mostly. She wanted to send me to a psychologist, but I never went. Maybe I should've.
No. 1474572
For a few years I've wondered if I'm just a bit odd, artistic, and socially delayed, or if there's genuinely something up with me. But at the same time I'm older now and have just kind of muscled through it all on my own so far, so a diagnosis would mainly give me an explanation rather than resources.
I'll sage because I'm just pondering.
>always had sensory issues, couldn't wear certain fabrics or tags as a kid and used to pull fits as a teen/younger adult if I was too sweaty or wore certain clothing (I attributed this to my anger issues)
>sometimes randomly reach a certain point in conversations where I "turn off" and I get upset at them still talking (I know this is illogical so I'm better at smoothly leaving as an adult)
>noticed that I've perma-numbed myself to life, perhaps to avoid being overwhelmed by noise/other people but may also be to stop being nervous in public
>cringe obsessions with certain cartoon characters as a teen. I'd go into detail but it's cow-worthy, just know that it was socially unacceptable for a 16-year-old. And by obsession I mean drawing him all the time (amongst other things that are…strange), and I used to draw all day in and out of class, likely 8-10 hours a day cumulatively
>other delays in interests (eg. Would bring dolls to school at 17 and usually disliked watching anything but cartoons until I was 21 or so)
>poor sense of boundaries wrt sharing information. I emotionally sort people into "uncomfortable" and "comfortable" and will be tempted to overshare with people as soon as they feel comfortable. However this is often too early, so I have begun to restrain myself. This has lead to sharing fuck all ever at times but I'm at some sort of balance now.
>incapable of flirting. I ask them on a date and we discuss our feelings bluntly or it's nothing.
>tried to decipher social hierarchy and fell into a femcel lookism hole, but actually talking to people and growing up has made me less passionate about it (I was trying to figure out why people didn't like me but simply don't care now)
>befriended an autistic woman and we hit it off well because I felt I could be myself with her and didn't need to hold back, but it did end because everyone is capable of having certain flaws regardless of neurotype
>really enjoy pacing, especially when I'm imagining the stories in my head involving characters I make. I used to be able to do this for hours before adulthood, but I do think of these characters all day throughout the day still
>mother used to tease me for my robot voice whenever I was trying to explain my emotions to her. She literally called it that.
The thing that makes me think I must just be a bit odd instead of the tism is that I have a genuine interest in the lives of others. I LOVE small talk about the boring bullshit people get up to, it's like a TV show for free. I love everyone I meet dearly and even used to keep a log of them. I've heard many autistics say they don't enjoy hearing about the lives of others. Is that true?
I can also read emotions moderately well and am sensitive to someone making fun of me. I evaded bullying for years because of this and because everyone thought I was capable of seriously harming them.
No. 1474638
>>1474572This all sounds like typical experiences of autistic women, so I would suspect it, but with all autism traits it depends on the severity.
Also yes we can and often are social and very empathetic, we just experience it differently from NTs. Ngl the fact that your normie example is keeping a log of people you meet is really funny kek that is not normie behavior.
Of course you could still be neurotypical but I would potentially suspect autism given your description, I guess the real question is do your symptoms feel within the range of normal human experience and like you have been able to function and cope normally without help, or would you feel comfortable saying you relate to feeling disabled, and like you have needed significant support in your life with normal structures and tasks? Do you crash and burn when/after you are forced to take on life alone? Is your sensory overwhelm unusual and excessive? Is your internal sense of difference and distance from most people and their social structures extreme and frequently debilitating? Have you experienced a lot of bullying, isolation, judgment, weird comments about how you are strange or in likeable or don’t fit in? Do you find that your life has to be structured in a very specific way for you to cope (work, social settings, clothes, exposure to sensory stimulus etc)? Have you had major issues with outbursts of anger, or “tantrums” or self harm, hitting, crying loudly over things like noise or schedule changes? Has being undiagnosed resulted in recurrent mental health or functionality issues? Those are the kinds of things I would consider for whether or not you would classify your experiences as fitting ASD.
No. 1474639
>>1474622I am hearing a lot of conflicting information, like from
>>1474625>>1474625Can you tell me more?
No. 1474653
>>1474639nayrt but we're autistic, not inhuman. we're capable of the full spectrum (kek) of human personality just like anyone else.
to be less nitpicky, yes someone can be both autistic and extroverted or spontaneous. it's less common, but they exist
No. 1474683
>>1474639ayrt
>>1474653this is what i meant. autism is not personality.
No. 1474713
>>1474689Everything IEP related is such a hassle, sucks to be us I guess, because with or without it (I tried both ways in college) it can end up strenuous depending on your school and professors.
The best outcomes were compassionate professors who treated me with understanding and respect as a human being, with or without my IEP. The worst was I had two professors treat me like subhuman, say “we all hate people like you” “my daughter has IBS and she can do everything normally, why can’t you do everything normally just because you have some mental condition” and even one vaguely threatened me and had me come to some terrifying abandoned building alone to meet him and kept going “so what will you do to convince me not to fail you” there.
But after I changed universities I had better experiences. I ended up going to one with a bit of a woke reputation and they then actually treated me like a normal human there finally and never hassled me over my condition and I finally really excelled and had no more school troubles.
No. 1479889
>>1479521>It seems like a majority of autists hate small talk but I can't really understand why that's almost universalIn my case, I think it's because I can see right through it being an actual conversation and immediately recognize that it's just one of the thousands of social niceties that I struggle so much to keep up with. You described it perfectly:
>presenting a friendly manner is much more important than anything you actually sayWhy the fuck would I bother engaging in a conversation if it's not an actual exchange of information? It's fucking maddening. And when I question people on this, they tell me "idk it's just a social thing you have to do". But why? I would rather not start a conversation at all if we're not going to be discussing anything worthwhile.
>>1479526ayrt, this is the first time I've actually made a post in a really long time. I don't know why other anons can't accept that we're all spergs here. No "normal" woman would come onto a website like lolcow. We're all here for a reason.
No. 1481288
>>1481140The only thing that helped me was learning to “unmask” around the people I’m comfortable with. I was taught that you had to express joy or happiness or humor a certain way and my natural “reaction” like bouncing and smiling too much was childish and stupid or my laugh was too loud and annoying, my voice was too gravely. Etc etc. so I learned to fake a more feminine laugh, pitch shift my voice. All these rules to make people like me and to survive the
abusive environment I was raised in.
Making close relationships with other women on the spectrum mostly and only building close relationships with NT that like me were really big to getting there. In my experience a lot of NT like how you treat them and confuse that with liking you. They then find you annoying anytime you are yourself. Those people are self involved dicks and make bad friends.
I have to focus less on myself and what I’m supposed to be doing and just on being present and enjoying the company or activity. Hopefully that makes sense.
No. 1484028
File: 1674878266609.jpg (21.13 KB, 209x275, m-30.jpg)
this is an extremely shameful thing to admit but I sometimes forget that autism is a development disorder. When I got my diagnosis my IQ was in the low end of average and as cruel as it may sound I wish it had been 1-2 points lower because then at least I could get support. I was just on the line that said I was functioning enough but I'm not. I know I'm more functioning than other autists but I still can't do/understand a lot of stuff. My thought process and worldview is very childish and I have a hard time to keep up with anything. From conversations, to pronouncing words right, to any abstract concepts. I'm just ashamed of my whole being. I can tell that everyone takes pity on me because they can easily tell that I'm not normal
No. 1484269
>>1440291If it makes you feel any better nona, I relate too much to this speech too.
>>1444098Yeah, but it's something you have to work at if you're high functioning.
>>1484028If it's any consolation nona, I feel the same way even though I was considered "double gifted" in school. It makes me want to kms since I feel like I have to either have a crippling drug addiction or paraplegia or some shit just to get basic support beyond platitudes. I wish I had something reassuring and helpful to say to you.
No. 1484774
File: 1674964026661.jpeg (13.04 KB, 453x441, images.jpeg)
Despite about what a lot of people say about female aspies i am super bad at masking, im sure most people can tell i am weird just from the ways i act and talk, i wonder if anyone here is the same, and if you have any tips on how to become better at masking please tell me i wanna blend in.
No. 1484785
>>1484774I think my acceptable degree of masking skill is due to my high literacy combined with my extensive and varied social history. Obviously a decent number of random ultranormies still say I’m straightlaced, shy, aloof, intimidating, or unusual, but I don’t get recognized as autistic. I ended up late diagnosed despite my enormous functionality issues because I’m quick witted and good with language and impersonations. If you can’t spend more time IRL trying to mirror people, try mirroring the cadence of various TV characters, do speeches in your room, get used to speaking at a steady pace with an affable tone and varied inflections. If you tend to stammer or speak in too stilted of a way, I think reading a lot can help as well as practicing speaking. I do a lot of roleplay games and RP practice on my own so I can basically imitate any person or character unless I’m in sensory overload and then I just choose a character to be at any time. I’ve always made limited eye contact and had “weird” body language and been constantly doing sensory regulation stims but people often fail to see it as that unusual because I make up for it with my friendly and mildly excited tone of voice, jokes, projected interest in whatever bs they’re talking about, smiling and laughter, and also cultivating a good image. I honestly think working hard to look conventionally pretty and fashionable has helped a lot bc people project a lot of assumptions onto your appearance, so dressing fashionably and wearing good makeup helps too. Some studies also say that dressing in a somewhat more artsy way makes neurotypicals apply your ND qualities to the artsy outfit as an “explanation,” like an “oh I see, she’s just quirky on purpose, but in a good way” type of thing.
No. 1488454
>>1488346>Once you got an official diagnosis, did it change anything for the better for you in the workplace? Yes because they are legally required to accommodate for my needs. And yes that gives them a greater understanding if I'm acting weird or have uneven energy days. I think it's better to tell your employee something along the lines of "if I do something weird it's because of my autism/aspergers, just let me know if I do something too weird or distracting". Let them know it's ok to tell you to stop because you truly didn't mean to disturb others and didn't realize what you did was distracting.
Personally I think saying "aspergers" is better even if your diagnosis papers say ASD/autism. Aspergers is know as "the high-functioning version of autism" or even just "quirky nerd, but smart", so it is a bit less stigmatized, while just "autism" sounds more like "I am special needs and will be a burden". Most people don't know the diagnosis name changed in some countries*. It's not right, but it is what it is. If you're able to apply to jobs on your own you're on the high-functioning end anyway so you're not lying.
*Many countries don't even use the DSM5 that merged the terms, it's not a universal standard. Aspergers is still a
valid diagnosis given out in most of the world.
No. 1488500
>>1473135You can develop tolerance to Ritalin/mph when you take it consistently for such a long time. I think psychiatrists can increase the dosage when this happens, as you need a larger amount to get the same desired effects.
> if I should just stop taking itIf you've been using it (almost) every day for so long, you should probably gradually decrease usage (spread out over like a week) instead of just quitting overnight.
On the topic of stimulants: do any autistic nonnies here take stimulants to help with everyday functioning?
No. 1495788
File: 1676013877721.jpg (29.38 KB, 567x542, 2cec71161268a2ef69288b5a4a2105…)
I hate being an autist some days. I recently got a job at an office and the social interaction is just so hard for me to navigate. It's very stressful and I don't want to talk to any of the people there, I just want to do my work and go home, but there's so much politic and drama that I can't process. Plus we have two troons that clearly have some kind of PD and run around being awful.
I only just started but I don't know how much longer I can last. I don't want to be unemployed. I just hate that I can never seem to land a job that doesn't feel like an emotional energy vampire.
No. 1498776
>>1495788relate to this a lot. work used to drain me but mostly because of the social impact. i got a work from home job now and it's heaven (in comparison). but i have to go to a meeting IRL at least once a month and it makes me exhausted for about 24 hours afterwards. made me realise i was living that feeling of exhaustion daily when i worked in an office.
hope you can get away from people in your next job nona. in the mean time, let people think you're rude and unfriendly if it means staying out of all the politics and straining to be "friendly" all the time. i wish i embraced coming across like an unfriendly bitch sooner in life. it works wonders for boundaries and people will know to leave you alone more, apart from the PD ones but they don't understand the meaning of boundaries.
No. 1498889
>>1484774im the same, i think i unconsciously mask a bit but not enough for people to not catch on that I'm different. i don't try to purposely mask anymore it's just too exhausting and not sustainable - i would go crazy at home after a full day at work.
i just act how i naturally do and honestly most people are fine, i know people can tell im different but no one is ever rude or nasty, but maybe im lucky with my coworkers.
No. 1499513
File: 1676357374430.jpg (75.87 KB, 960x960, whappa.jpg)
>>1498776Thank you for the kind words
nonny. I might try your tactic of being straight up bitchy. It still tires me out and depresses me, but at least people wouldn't be taking advantage.
No. 1500666
File: 1676459669199.png (1 MB, 890x892, 1624419044548.png)
I keep flying into a tard rage whenever I see how many people fake being autistic on places like tiktok. I didn't even know I had autism until I was in my late twenties and I feel like a lot of women who actually have autism go through the same experience. It's not a fun and quirky disorder, everyone is not a 'little' autistic, it's not just muh stim and muh lack of eye contact, it's lonely and fucking hell to live as an autistic woman. I'm constantly passed over for jobs, promotions, I'm never the favorite, I can barely tolerate keeping two friends in my life but it's cripplingly lonely, but noooo autism is so cool and quirky and it's totes why I'm obsessed with this anime video game teehee!
I know I need to stop sperging and stop being a tard about this, but ugh.
No. 1500682
>>1500666Me too nona. Sometimes I think "what's the harm if they make people pay attention to autism" but then they really do speak over actual autistic people, make us look dumb(er than we already are kek), they spread misinformation and take resources away from real autsits who need it. I know they do it for every disorder now but it still pisses me off.
>>1499365>As for what really causes autism, I suspect it's related to diet or chemicals in the last few centuriesNo, in that case we wouldn't really have clear hereditary links. Brain scans of autists show that there is no "brain damage" (unless that individual happens to have it of course) so the saying that autist brains are just "differently wired" is pretty accurate. Different mental disorders have always existed, whether people threw them out to die or accepted them varied.
But high functioning autism in males was no doubt often a "good thing" when it came to academia at least. It's interesting how all the "crazy professor" stereotypes that have been around for at least a few centuries seem to match up with autistic traits, despite the people making them not having a clue autism even exists. Often if you look up old brilliant scientists you'll find their peers described them as really weird, having odd habits, not behaving or dressing "properly", forgetting to eat and not being very sociable etc. We obviously can't diagnose them or know for sure, but them having the exact traits as modern autists says something.
Idk if it was this or the last thread, but it's been pointed out that every single autism trait can exist in any person without it being from autism. Even multiple of them at the same time, yet it's not autism that caused it for them. So I'm not saying a poor diet or chemicals can't ever cause symptoms similar to autistic traits, but "real" autism isn't caused by it.
No. 1500850
>>1500839That's crazily bold of you to assume I came from Twitter or TikTok, or anything else you read into my vent post. The use of those terms is not always harmful, no, and sometimes it can be both apt and funny. But it would be lying to deny that there are times when those words are used as insults, and that anons here can make crude generalizations about autistic people not deserving friendship, romantic love, and so on (see current relationship advice thread). Frankly, I don't think it matters if some of them really are autistic, diagnosed or not, if they say shit like that. Obviously I can't control what people post and you're free to disagree with me, but I'm just as free to post my opinion.
No. 1500861
>>1500850nayrt but I went to read that thread after your post and I found at most two posts, which say:
>If you believe she can find an attractive man when shes an autist who was desperate enough to spend god knows how much on a guy she's not even committed to, you're fooling yourself. Autistic men and women both can't pull.>there are a lot of incel like nonnies on here who are targets for abuse by moids because of their autism and their unrealistic expectations built up from fictional moids.Which is both mild for this site and partially true. Autistic people, especially women, are abused at higher rates compared to non-autists. We don't read cues well and we're likelier to have been ostracized growing up, so more of us are likely to compromise our boundaries in order to "keep" someone all the while not realizing how much they're harming us. Not all of us, and a lot of us grow out of it, but it's not unkind to say the truth that we get targeted for abuse.
No. 1500872
>>1500850youre on an imageboard… terms like sperging out etc have been a thing for years, it's a part of imageboard culture hence why we still use them here. if you want to take it as a personal insult that's on you, as other anons have told you a lot of the time these terms can be a term of endearment or language shared among fellow autists. most imageboard users would fall somewhere on the spectrum kek, you think we don't realise that?
like cmon literally every other normie site like reddit or twitter would agree with you and have users police themselves and not use terms like that. this is one of the few places you can still freely use those terms, and you choose to be mad about it
No. 1501032
>>1501008the impact noise has on quality of life is constantly underestimated. when you have even a slightly noisy neighbour or whatever, life can be hell. i finally live in a really peaceful place with a very quiet old lady living downstairs (after years of living with nightmare neighbours and constant building works outside) but am still driven mad by small things a lot. at night, i leave the white noise machine on full blast and often just leave it on during the day too. it's not ideal because it's not exactly…silence but it makes me way less crazy than hearing inconsistent noises outside. i can't wear ear plugs because i find them too uncomfortable and they also make me more aware of internal sounds, like heartbeat, tinnitus, breathing noises.
anyway, i second this
>>1501022 fuck the minor ear damage if it means getting some peace.
No. 1503166
>>1501255Alright so this isn't a perfect method since I struggle with the same issues and it doesn't always work for me. But I've found that it can help to set a deadline and a very concrete goal for the output. For example, I need to have written 5 new pages by midnight next wednesday. Then sure, I'll put it off until the last minute and maybe start out rushing it, but with some luck I'll get legitimately into it along the way and write more than those 5 pages. The only way this actually works for me though is to also tell someone close to you about the deadline, ask them to hold you accountable and show them the work you did once the deadline has passed.
Even if sometimes this will result in rushed, not so great writing, at least you've written something and hopefully gotten into the flow to write more. I find that if there's no third party holding me accountable and I'm the only one that knows about my deadline, that's not enough to get me to do it. It may seem forced or awkward to ask someone to check if you did it, but it's worth trying.
No. 1503880
>>1501255Planning and being held accountable never worked for me, what I did was learn to be comfortable with being shit. Do the absolute bare minimum, but do it. Half-ass everything. Spewing ten pages of absolute crap when you can't think of anything else to write means you can come back another day, re-read what you shat out, and edit that into something good. Same with things like writing reports, write whatever, edit later. If you can't think of how to get from A to B then write a line in bold saying 'Get from A to B' and then carry on. Remove as many blocks as you can.
If that doesn't work, try writing a list. Put in EVERYTHING you need and want to do, including things like brushing your teeth and getting out of bed. The effect of ticking off items from a list, no matter how retarded, can be the push you need to cross another one off. You can make a list with daily and weekly tasks if you want, then it won't be as overwhelming.
No. 1505336
>>1505244I write out my sets and duration. So if it’s weight lifting
>4 sets of 10 goblet squats >4 sets of 10 hammer curls > so on and so on. Or in the case of warms up, stretches, and yoga, more on par with your situation. I make the same style list in a notebook (preferably spiral bound so it lays flat and stays on the page you leave it on) and I’ll make little stick people do the basics of the pose or move so I have a visual aid to remember. I find if I divide them up into too many chunks or try to find someone else moving at a different pace than me on video I can’t focus and makes me enjoy it less.
No. 1505337
>>1505336Samefag but if they don’t have a set number I’ll do the duration so in yogas case
>>Four 30 second counts, 5 deep breathes downward dog. Then have my little stick person doing two to three little poses of it. Hopefully that makes sense. It sounds dumb typing it out. Kek
No. 1506121
>>1506063ayrt hi nonna. I'm not sure which part you want me to explain. If you mean the "Good FP fuel" part, I couldn't tell you why I seem to attract that treatment. If you mean why being a "favorite" person sucks….
FP is an unfair position to be put in. Most of us don't ask for it, and once we're up on that pedestal the only way to go from there is down. You cease to have an authentic relationship with the other person because they're perpetuating a cycle of idealization, (co-)dependence, devaluation, and discard and nothing you do can really stop it from happening. For most of us sperglets this cycle is confusing because all we know is that our so-called "best friend" is mad at us and we can't figure out why because we have a disability that affects our social skills.
I hope you're doing okay. Please don't panic over an lcf post, we're all nonny here! No. 1506303
>>1506066>>1506098Yeah I'm in the US and the trouble is that I am unemployed right now (I have a history of quitting jobs when it becomes too overwhelming) and since insurance is tied to jobs I'm fucked basically
>>1506121Thank you nonna, my panic stems from me coming to the realization that I have a strong inclination that I'm on the spectrum and I've never been formally diagnosed
No. 1506832
File: 1677121426605.jpeg (37.9 KB, 600x600, 1645244554282.jpeg)
>>1506062Update, i told my dad and he told me he always thought there was something wrong with me as a child and he just did nothing about it because he thought it would go away. It is what it is. He basically knew the whole time…
No. 1506872
>>1506832My parents did the same to both me and my brother. My brother still isn’t even diagnosed even though he is VERY obviously autistic/ doesn’t mask. I think a lot of parents did this because they were in denial and uneducated about autism. Don’t feel too bad bc there really wasn’t a lot of information about it in girls and women until more recent years.
Side note, when I told my mom she seriously asked me if I think vaccines caused it. I told her no, maybe microplastics kek.
No. 1509216
>>1509209will you have to continue giving a lot of presentations? not advice exactly but I had the same struggles and am just glad to no longer be in a position where I have to speak in front of people. unless it's something you really want or need to work at, then just try and get through it for now. the fact that you went back in and finished is really brave so you should feel good about that. I've literally run away from presentations before kek.
if it's something you really want to get good at, there are lots of tips and videos online but it will take a lot of practise and probably some further embarrassment until you build the skills or confidence needed to be good at it and push through uncomfortable emotions. for me, it was never something I desired to be good at so I had no motivation to improve but it depends on what you want to do in the future. good luck nona and well done for finishing your presentation.
No. 1509301
>>1508927ayrt I'm going to sperg for a moment and write a small essay about this, because as a fellow autist I feel like no one ever points out stuff to help us communicate more effectively in a constructive way. These are just my opinions so don't feel pressured to absorb them or anything nonna.
Just being real, it was mostly the tone that came across when you talked about your upbringing. The economic disparity (in America at least) is pretty awful right now for one, so talking about growing up with any kind of wealth puts a target on your back immediately. It's not fair how anyone chose to be born or grow up, it's just reality that most people are not wealthy and most people do not want to hear about how you didn't have to suffer in the ways they did.
Two your tone, which is the words you chose and how you structured them in your sentences, is a bit self-centered in a naive way. It sounds a little immature. Your post is a blogpost which is ok, but it's all about showing off what a better person you are, how you grew up wealthy but are not like those other wealthy kids. People in general won't relate to that because most people are poor and have a lot more going on in their lives than navel gazing about their own personalities.
I'm glad you escaped being a shitheel though
nonny, I'm honestly not trying to tear you down and I'm very glad you aren't trying to follow in your parents footsteps.
No. 1509624
>>1506832late but my parents recently did the same thing to me. i haven’t told them yet about the autism but they dropped a huge bomb by telling me i was delayed (in many ways) as a child and just didn’t do anything about it. they clearly knew something was wrong but decided to “wait it out” because they thought i was stubborn. they’ve talked about it before with me but i always thought they were joking because of how they phrased it.
i haven’t told them yet because i know they’re going to say something stupid when i do.
No. 1510980
File: 1677529569603.png (676.87 KB, 720x1440, unnamed.png)
>>1510966nta but there are apps for that too, with a bunch of settings and different noises. i use picrel, and the trick to not getting ads is to turn off wi-fi. i use an old phone that's hooked up to speakers. if you have an old phone that still works and speakers you don't have to buy an extra thing. same as the other anon though, got no answer for your question just sharing what i use, it helps me sleep since i have shitty neighbours.
No. 1511540
File: 1677602692644.jpg (1009.98 KB, 1080x1832, Screenshot_20230228_113651_Ins…)
ig this could go in fake disorder cringe but i wanted to talk about this with other autists. does anyone else get super irritated by clear autismfakers? i roll my eyes every time i see some woman (usually some flavor of gendie) go "i collect things im soooo autistic!!!" despite it clearly never actually affecting their lives.
the intricate makeup on the daily is such a huge red flag that they're faking considering makeup is sensory hell.
maybe i'm just an extra peg down on the spectrum, but as someone who has given themself concussions from hurting myself during sensory meltdowns, has struggled with an autism related eating disorder my whole life, and gets instantly shunned from most social situations before i even speak due to my "autism stare", it hurts to see so many people use the disorder that ruins my life to clout-chase.
No. 1511700
File: 1677614177306.jpeg (Spoiler Image,54.74 KB, 618x613, 72894E37-C776-49D6-B228-87DE09…)
Anyone else get diagnosed when they were young but don’t really experience the negative effects of autism all that much?Maybe I’m just ignorant of how autistic I look, but I think I pass as neurotypical for the most part without ever masking. Even when I get clocked as autistic it doesn’t really effect me. My main symptoms are that I sometimes make weird gestures with my hands, make weird facial expressions when I’m thinking to myself, talk to myself a fair bit but that’s probably my only ‘visible’ signs and most people dont comment on it. I’m also preoccupied with a narrow range of interests too ig but never felt the need to infodump in years and I’m definitely capable of having conversations outside the of my interests (don’t need to make scripts). I don’t experience any sensory issues aside from feeling overwhelmed by the firework shows and loud parades my parents used to take me to as a kid. One of my friends, who also suffers from autism, said she wouldn’t tell immediately but another student one of my friends was able to clock that I had autism after knowing me for a couple of months so idk. My mother says that my autism is very obvious, but she has weird ideas about what constitutes a symptom of autism. One time I tried to discuss this with her, and she said that me trying to explain why I think I’m right about things is somehow a symptom of autism
No. 1511760
>>1511730it looks like to me every autist has some sensory issue, strong or not (I know three autistic people, only one of them gets
triggered very easy with sensory issues, the others just know how to cope better/avoid the situations that cause it) but every autist LARPer amps it up 10 times because it's the easiest symptom you can fake
No. 1511775
>>1511760there are those that are hypersensitive and those that lack it to an absurd degree, and usually seek out more sensory input. my ex is also autistic but was totally dulled to so many things I (and most people) would find horrifying. he would just walk around barefoot outside and not notice if something was stuck to him or annoying noises, didn't notice the cold or heat. he would just fall asleep easily with a car alarm blaring outside for example. but he would be attracted to high levels of stimuli as a result. i think both are common.
>>1511540i think the thing that makes me suspicious is when someone's entire identity is based around how autistic they are. if you want to be an eccentric, then just do that, but it's got nothing to do with autism.
No. 1514001
>>1513666reminder that all subreddits aimed at women (or "girls"..) are 95% troons/creeps. actuallesbians, twoxchromosomes, witchesvspatriarchy etc are all troon pandering subreddits that stereotype women and in aspergirls case - autistic people and just exist for larping and shutting down any conversation that has anything to do with actual women-only experiences.
also i noticed that the broader category subreddits, particularly the meme ones like r/meirl have the exact same
relatable content that the austim subreddits do kek. it makes me laugh because MOST people can relate to being awkward sometimes or hating loud noises, for example. everyone likes to believe they are special in some way.
I think the facebook groups are better generally, not sure if it's just the ones in my country (UK) but you can tell there are a lot of real autistic women who need help with day to day things like making phone calls, filling in forms instead of narcissistic blogging about how quirky they are. there is also a group for Gender Critical Autistics (that's the group name) for those who are fed up of all the other groups being overrun by gender shite.
No. 1514296
>>1513492Oh no don't worry, I got my diagnosis and i 100% have both autism and adhd. I definitely regret taking social media too seriously on that and should have stuck to what actual good sources think.
>>1514236Learning to drive was a hassle and even then it tooks me months to stop feeling so anxious enough to not go on the highway. I still can't drive for more than an hour without getting mentally exhausted. What was really frustrating to me was that a driving instructor i had was really hard on me for behaving anxiously and i had to hold back my tears. But according to a psychiatrist, it's pretty normal for autistic people to struggle with driving, she was impressed that i could even pull it off. If i had a choice i would not drive at all, i'd rather just sit next to a sketchy moid than stress myself out with a car.
No. 1514325
>>1514265>>1514302the it'll-come-to-you-eventually meme is such a classic. it's the reason i got into an
abusive relationship with a man for 2 years (because my gut telling me to run was just me "not opening my heart fully" or just getting used to being in my first relationship and things would start to feel better) and why i burned myself out trying to make friends and have a "real" career. turns out i'm happiest on my own in a low-stress data entry job (people still give me shit for the opportunities I gave up and insist it's some complex i have about lacking self belief) and no - I
still don't want kids, 10 years after I was told I would change my mind and I still have no interest in learning to drive.
there is a template for life that people assume everyone else wants, and any resistance to it is automatically chalked up to lack of confidence or fear, instead of choice or (sometimes) inability. unfortunately it's taken me til my thirties to have the confidence to assert my desires and limitations because i kept buying into the
one day i'll be a proper adult and
i just need to push through all these things that don't feel right to me bullshit for my entire teens and twenties.
It's good to question your resistance sometimes but it should always be on your terms because only you know what works for you. normies love to make everything seem easy and natural so we can end up internalising the belief that we don't try hard enough, when really it's probably the opposite.
No. 1514350
Oh wow. I'm the nonna that suggested the aspergirls subreddit. I admit I haven't visited it since the previous thread. Back when I did browse it the subforum was indeed much smaller and the people in it were a bit more genuine, and the experiences I read from people there did help me put the pieces together to figuring out why my life has been the way it is. My bad.
>>1514296Happy for your diagnosis nonna! I hope wherever you are you can get benefits or accommodations.
>>1514236Oh non… KEK I also mixed up the gas and break pedals for a long time while I was learning how to drive, among other stuff like turning the wrong way, having trouble judging turns or where the car is in space… I like driving now, but it has legit taken me 10+ years to get comfortable operating a vehicle and my confidence was nearly shattered a few times. Don't know why but I was very stubborn about not giving up. I wish you luck.
No. 1514781
File: 1677948327808.jpg (259.73 KB, 1600x1167, schleich-animals-toys.jpg)
I haven't been diagnosed but when it comes to people who actually know me, they think it's very likely I'm autistic. in regards to the driving conversation, driving has always made me quite nervous. I've always found other things to blame though. like having astigmatism and needing proper glasses and anxiety caused by getting in a wreak. the wreak definitely didn't help, and I probably shouldn't be allowed to drive at night unless this is something glasses can fix, but for social shit sometimes I ask myself if I'm autistic or if it's just due to having been homeschooled for 12 years and the trauma from that (homeschooling is a very great way to hide abuse where I live). maybe that's why i can hardly look anyone in the eye! somehow I went to college. lies were involved to get in. and I dropped out when I really only needed one more semester but the whole covid isolation thing really fucked me up because it threw me back into homeschool brain. usually i just tell myself it's the shit i actually have been diagnosed with (ADHD, PTSD, and the very questionable bipolar) but also one day at the retail job I've miraculously held down for some months I didn't really know what I was supposed to do, so i sat on the floor organizing the little animal figure display and had the grandest time just lining up the little animals.
now i realize i just sound like an idiot typing all this but thank you to anyone who reads my pointless thoughts
No. 1515052
>>1514367I'll stop live texting my medication progress if it's just clogging up- I don't have any female friends that can relate, but it's jarring how much it helped with my anxiety and depression immediately. My ADHD stuff wasn't affected and the worst symptoms were still there the entire time (distractability, extreme lack of motivation and focus, and constant motion), I didn't "feel" anything until like 2pm and I took it at 9am, and that was more just brief moments of contentedness/happiness I couldn't really explain.
Just sucks that so many doctors didn't listen to me when I said antidepressants weren't right for me or my problem, they kept shoving them at me until I shelled out $500 for a test, but moids get diagnosed instantly. I was told I was just depressed and needed to medicate that, but it was ADHD symptoms making me anxious and fearful and thus depressing me. Fucking sucks that lack of emotional regulation and physical regulation is normalized for men and means it's a whole other treatment, but women just need to feel less. Both doctors that prescribed me anti depressants were men, I refuse to talk to another male provider.
No. 1515062
File: 1677978529412.jpeg (78.96 KB, 640x796, 8C88F9A0-1464-4685-9B12-B0D236…)
>>1515052>>1514367>nonny takes legal meth for the first time >feels fantastic, so long depresso No shit nonna. Make sure to drink tons of water and apply sunscreen every 2 hours, just because you have ADHD doesn’t mean stimulants won’t result in premature aging. Anyway you sound like me when I was first given traditional stimulants for my ADHD, the first few months are so productive and euphoric. Then after a while you’ll be on the highest dose possible and take it and fall back asleep right after and maybe develop a skin picking disorder and extreme tachycardia.
No. 1515078
>>1515068Sorry for being cunty
nonny, I’ve just seen the same stimmy song and dance happen with every ADHD bitch I know, including myself. First you start the stimulant and it’s like somebody waved a magic wand and everything is better even if your symptoms aren’t actually being helped that much, you feel so damn good cause duh, it’s a powerful stimulant you’re taking. And then people will say stimulants are bad for you even if you have adhd, and you wanna shiv them because how dare they suggest you shouldn’t get this medication that’s finally making you feel like life’s worth living and that you’re a whole ass cool person for the first time in forever? That’s the honeymoon phase with stimulants, can last for a few years depending on how you tolerate them. But eventually it all comes crashing down when eventually all the stimulants stop working and they don’t give you any of that happy yum yum dopamine serotonin cocktail anymore. Never known anyone to stay on stimulants for more than a few years before they realize what a racket they are, or they’re forced to stop because of physical issues caused by the stimulants. I truly don’t believe stimulants can safely be used on a daily long term basis.
No. 1515082
File: 1677980617258.jpeg (302.86 KB, 1170x768, 3F4BACF0-07C0-4CFA-A381-2A250B…)
>>1515078Samefag but there’s literally only one “stimulant” that, after studying the pharmacology of it, I believe can safely be used on a long term daily basis, but its usage for ADHD is off label. Modafanil aka provigil.
>https://www.vice.com/en/article/ava7za/why-cant-we-all-take-modafinil No. 1515381
>>1515164I first got my modafanil script from a fancy neurologist after a car accident. I asked him for it, reasoning that I’d been extra tired since the accident and had tried adderall for adhd in the past and it made me an anxious mess. Said I researched alternatives and stumbled upon modafanil and asked what he thought. He said it’s very well tolerated and he doesn’t see the dependence or other serious side effects he sees from other stimulants, the side effect and safety profiles of modafanil being far better than the alternatives.
Then I told my primary care doctor hey look, this medicine helps me a bunch but this neuro doesn’t take my insurance now that it’s not being covered by the auto insurance - will you prescribe it for me? And she asked me a lot of questions about the medication cause she’d never really heard of it. Be knowledgeable about it. I have to go see her every month for it because office policy against giving refills for controlled substances without an office visit (meanwhile the neuro would give me 6 refills at a time kek) And my insurance doesn’t cover the cost of the meds themselves - I have to pay out of pocket cause I’m using it off label - lame cause otherwise all my scripts are an affordable $0 with my insurance. Thankfully with goodrx I can get a months worth for under $20 at like, any pharmacy besides CVS and Walgreens, where it’s like $200 even with goodrx?! I just hope they never jack up the prices.
No. 1517106
File: 1678193735529.jpeg (21.75 KB, 236x301, moomin.jpeg)
can we share some things that help us manage?
the main things I struggle with are social situations, hypersensitivity and executive dysfunction. the list below won’t be helpful for everyone, it’s just things from my own experience:
>a couple of years ago I started making an indexable book (folder with tabs) with information on how to do certain things
like step-by-step instructions on who to call or what to say if something goes wrong. i’m trying to inb4 a lot of scenarios that i worry about in the background of my mind and organise how to deal with them. It’s also got phone numbers, email addresses and websites I might need to use for appointments and paying bills etc. so I don’t get lost and paralysed. i’ve even thought about making mini “scripts” of what I need to say in certain situations kek. (is this too crazy? i dunno)
>white noise machine (plus white/pink/brown noise youtube vids)
>learning to love being alone
i always liked being alone but kept trying to be normal and make friends even though it made me miserable. once i accepted that i’m not the friend-making type, i began to look at life differently and enjoy my time a lot more. living alone is a luxury that i’ve only been able to afford in the past few years but i love it.
>getting a work from home job
another luxury but nice work if you can get it
>keeping lots of storage boxes and bins within reach, around the house
when i just need to tidy a space but feel paralysed, i can just put everything into the box to sort when i have more mental space, which at least clears clutter and makes me feel better. plus having actual bins in every room to put trash in.
>meal planning
personally i eat way healthier and feel less stressed about having to cook and clean as much when i batch cook food for the week. it can become a bit of a fun obsession too - finding recipes to try and cute bento boxes to buy.
>worrying less about social norms and being impolite
at my peak people-pleasing self, i still said the wrong things and people still thought i was awkward so i’ve learned it doesn’t help to bend over backwards to be accommodating, it actually makes things a lot worse (burnout) and the same gesture is rarely returned. say no if you don’t want to do something or if it makes you uncomfortable and don’t explain yourself. people get offended over the stupidest shit (like if you don’t want to try their food or attend a big party) not suggesting to take this to an extreme or obnoxious level but just talking about setting boundaries.
what are some things that help you with aspects of ASD or ADHD?
No. 1518230
>>1515164Wondering this too. I didn't really get into an accident like the other
nonny, but was prescribed it a long time ago and it helped me with my issues a lot–and then I was displaced and wasn't able to get more.
No. 1518238
File: 1678300464833.jpg (349.75 KB, 2048x2048, catbento.jpg)
>>1517106This is a nice post nona!
When I was still working I also did meal prep. It was fun putting everything in the bento boxes… Everything looks more tasty inside of those!!
Unfortunately, I don't have any strategies to share since most of my coping mechanisms crumbled after my last breakdown.
No. 1518268
>>1488500I'm not super consistent with taking it. I skip at least 1 day a week, if not 2 or 3. Over the ten years, I have stopped taking it for weeks at a time probably more than a dozen times. I think a few times I've stopped it for months. I'm prescribed 4 x 10mg (short acting) tablets a day but I normally take only 1 or 2. If I take 4 there is no difference except I might get more physical anxiety. I always tell my psych that it works well for me because it is difficult to get prescribed the short acting tablets where I am from and I'm nervous that if I get taken off them I won't be able to go back on, and I'm nervous about complaining in any way in case they decide I'm better off unmedicated. I like to have the meds as a security blanket even if they don't work that well. But that's probably extremely retarded since they're not that great anyway and I should just be honest to get better help. It's not possible to get adderall here at all though and I don't know that much about other medication.
(Sorry for such a late reply
nonnie!)
No. 1518325
File: 1678304535810.jpg (152.46 KB, 800x500, Japanese-Bento.jpg)
Idk if it's related to anything but does anyone else hate when there food touches other food? I love to keep things sperated and never mix things.
No. 1518891
>>1518325Yes absolutely, I was like this as a kid and got made fun of by my parents all the time for wanting to have foods that wouldn't easily stay apart from the rest on separate plates. I got over it as I grew up though, I think it's because nowadays I mostly cook food that's meant to all be mixed together like pastas or salads. I think the way it's all separated and tidy is what attracted me to sushi to begin with though, seeing your pic, and it remains my favorite food to this day.
I used to be a bigtime picky eater, especially when it came to textures. It's weird because now I genuinely like many things I would have found afwul back then, but at the same time I can still remember how excruciating it felt to me as a kid to have to eat all these things. Sure, picky eaters can be very annoying, especially when they're adults, but I'll always sympathize with them because nobody would willingly choose to have such an aversion to so many foods. It's different from just thinking something isn't great.
No. 1518958
>>1518255i love strict scheduling too! I haven't been able to apply that to the internet though unfortunately. i don't use social media but i just look at random shit constantly when there are better things i could be doing. i might try the timer thing and see how my brain responds…
>I refuse to check my email after 6pmthis has become easy for me because i'm scared of my email kek. i only check it when i feel strong enough to deal with shit (just in case one of the emails is an unexpected bill or problem i have to deal with). it's the same reason i turned off notifications on my phone except for emergency calls, because i can't handle it otherwise.
No. 1519074
File: 1678373863870.jpg (65.18 KB, 620x764, 0ef341497d73ce247ed41c755f0589…)
Tips for dealing with a realllly bad procrastination habit?
I procrastinate everything from doing the laundry to doing my hobbies. I cannot seem to do anything that requires even a bit of an effort. I used to use timers and productivity apps and bulletjournals and all that but I after a month or so this habit inevitably falls apart and I cannot keep it up. What do you guys use that helps you get stuff done and/or how do you motivate yourself?
No. 1519096
>>1519074I struggle with it too. so far, the only thing I can get myself to stick to is cleaning the dishes every night without fail. i have a rule that the only time i listen to a certain podcast or audiobook that i enjoy, is when i'm doing the dishes. so when i want to listen to it, i am motivated to do the dishes. it's been part of my routine for over a year now and it's actually made me enjoy washing up kek. could you apply something similar to your chores? sometimes i use high-energy music to motivate me too.
these are really my only tricks though and i really wish i could find more focus for my hobbies and general housekeeping.
No. 1519362
File: 1678391890386.jpg (94 KB, 1080x810, 2jille.jpg)
sorry for the negativity but I feel like autism robbed me of my life. why was i born with this disorder i wanna be a normie sooo bad I know that tons of autistic people go on and live fullfilling lives but I'm not one of them
No. 1519376
>>1519074have you heard of the term demand avoidance? maybe looking into that will help you find some leads.
i have a problem with procrastination too and i understand it has to do with anxiety and feeling lack of control over my situation and emotions. i think reminding yourself how satisifying and good it feels to be productive and get things done and that you want to do so is helpful. i realized i do not gain genuine enjoyment no matter what i do while procrastinating because it all is stewing in my anxiety. if you put off doing your hobbies and important tasks, maybe just starting to try to get into a habit of doing your hobbies and seeing how satisfying it is to do something you said you would. becoming someone you can trust to do things takes time so don't expect change overnight. also, look at how you procrastinate. social media? remind yourself these sites are simply addictive and not meaningfully satisfying, and have diminishing returns past very basic value they add with minor regular use.
No. 1519505
File: 1678401090594.jpg (47.57 KB, 539x391, cat.jpg)
For those with ASD, ADHD, ADD: how did your issues (sensory, social, wtv) evolved over time? Have you become more functional over time, or have you devolded? If you use coping strategies are they always useful or do you find them to become less efficient over time?
No. 1519535
File: 1678402402282.jpeg (23.76 KB, 832x555, cat hug.jpeg)
>>1519362let it out nona! not everyone can be the quirky but high functioning austist that is always romanticised. a lot of people are severely crippled by it so try not to compare yourself to normies cos they don't have to deal with this shit. sending a hug (if you want one)
No. 1519979
>>1519362You can let it out. It’s okay
nonnie. Even us “high functioning” autistic people get negative and feel like autism took stuff from us. It impacts us and it makes shit hard. It’s okay to admit a disability is that and not a super power, despite what the normies push, and grieve for the things it made more difficult. I hope you find peace and comfort. ♥
No. 1520786
File: 1678526172246.gif (7.35 KB, 107x61, animated-health-image-0006.gif)
has anyone else with ADHD stopped taking stimulants and if so, what were your experiences like?
I was on 20mg dexamphetamine daily, there was a supplier issue in my city in January and I decided to just stop taking them for a while. It's been two months but I'm having trouble focusing again and I keep gaining weight despite no change in diet.
I don't want to go back on them and I feel like towards the end of my time using them they were doig nothing for me but it's frustrating
No. 1520808
>>1519376I checked it out, haven't heard of it before. I used to feel resentment over people asking me to do things (mostly in a work setting) and would procrastinate endlessly, but I feel like I mostly got over it. I do procrastinate if the task feels complex or overwhelming though.
The ridiculous thing about my hobbies is that once I get over the initial procrastination phase, I genuinely enjoy them and get that 'being in the zone' feeling. But despite this I still have to fight myself and get over that every single time
No. 1521744
>>1521422I have an obsession for one of my favorite video games that comes every year, where I basically keep up on research of concept material, have the urge to mindlessly play the game (finishing it isn't the goal), and talk about it in general. Sometimes it'll last 2 months or as long as 9 months in the year. It's pretty much been like this for this one video game for over 15 years.
I'm still into other things, but not as severe. Like I recently had a burnout from a different video game series I induged in for like 8 months straight and then couldn't make any progress at all on the game for over 2 years, but I still tried to keep up on prototype material and data mine through as many games as I could during the burnout.
I don't believe I have autism, I do know I have ADHD, though. I really don't understand why they happen or what could be the root of it, maybe in my case it's because of neglect, but I'm glad I have something in me that gives me the feeling that I'll never be truly bored with nothing to do because I can just "keep up" on these favorite things I like.
No. 1521817
>>1521750not too much personally but this reminds me of my autistic friend who cries
very easily and HATES it, mostly because it makes people come over and try to hug her and comfort her which makes the overload soooo much worse (she actually hates hugging). she is late 30s btw and her age is definitely part of what makes it worse for her to deal with, so i sympathise with how shit it is to deal with.
at worst, my reaction is feeling physically sick and faint, and sometimes passing out. sometimes i cry if it's bad. but i do have a health condition that i blame it on and use it as my excuse to take breaks. but my general reaction is just stress and then fatigue later. i've gotten better at avoiding the overload as I get older but it also really depends on your personal situation, other mental health issues and relationships etc. too.
No. 1522167
>>1521750For years I thought I just had a panic disorder so I noticed that crowded places, loud places etc would overwhelm me but I put it down to panic. I had a few times where shopping centres were too much and I needed to get outside. I'd be shakey and on the verge of tears and att I was dating a guy who thought I was faking panic attacks (he also had this weird belief that women cry on demand for attention) so that didn't help the situation. I cringe looking back on that time. Had a handful of similar incidents where I held back the tears.. kept it mostly together til he started publicly berating me for just needing a minute outside. Then the floodgates would open. I hated whatever was up with me. I hated him. I hated the frustration of this becoming a pattern where I wasn't allowed a moment of peace to just calm down and then head back in. I'd be managing it when he'd freak out. The last time it happened a concerned woman tried to check in and make sure I was safe with him because it looked dodgy. I'm shakey and trying to compose myself and take a few breaths, meanwhile hes pissed off and looks it like hes threatening me. That was a wake up call. I was close to 30, away from him when I finally went to an appt and really described the sensory side of things that always set it off. Later found out I've autism. I mostly disguise it as say a bathroom trip now. I don't go places with people who'll endlessly question me on why I need a moment or who'll escalate the situation into a whole scene. Back when I thought it was an anxiety issue I would always have people saying you have to 'face the thing that makes you uncomfortable' and that way it'll go away over time if you just keep at it. Whereas autism.. at least people know its not going to be overcome from forcing it like a form of exposure therapy. That switch in how I view it has been a relief. And tbh, no matter what the cause is.. needing a moment isn't the most shameful thing. Being visibly overwhelmed isn't. I built it up into this weakness or failure in my mind and that made it so much worse.
I haven't had a full on embarassing moment like that since. It took alot of pressure off and alot of the negative self-talk that was in my head over it stopped. I'm 5 years into a job where its stressful but I haven't had it pop up. The less that I dread it happening.. the less it plays out and actually happens.
No. 1522645
>>1520036I do! Irl when I'm part of a big group of people I will often latch onto a joke that made everyone laugh assuming it is now an inside joke. Then I will repeat it even when the conversation has changed 5 different times. It can take me a while to realise that people stopped laughing the third time I repeated the joke.
Online I will latch onto a meme and will use it even after it's dead.
No. 1523365
File: 1678808308561.gif (759.66 KB, 250x183, ezgif-1-5c39ac942a.gif)
So i've never been diagnosed. The closest I ever came to doing that was when my mom took me to the pediatrician and asked about my hyperactivity and disruptive behavior in class. Of course the male doctor just dismisses it as a phase and that i'll grow out of it. To make a long story short now I strongly suspect I may be high functioning ASD or just ADHD or both, i have no idea. Either way, I always knew something was different or "off" about me.
I'm wondering for the nonnas that were diagnosed as adults, what made you suspect something was up? Should I be worried about being dismissed again?
Gif rel is me fighting with my weird side because i want to be normal
No. 1523378
>>1519505my issues w ADHD seem to wax and wane. they were always pretty bad growing up, but i could manage bc i was smart (and thus i was never medicated). after high school, i fell apart and couldn't handle college life because there was 0 structure. after a couple of years of floating through life, i suddenly lit a fire under my butt and became this really functional person who worked 50-60 hours a week, moved up very quickly at my new job, and somehow became known as a very reliable, stable person overall. unfortunately once covid hit i feel like i slowly entered a state of severe burnout, and after catching covid in 2022 & dealing with long covid symptoms, i'm barely hanging by a thread lol. i don't do much besides work & sleep, i have no hobbies, my sensory issues are the worst they've ever been….oops sorry for the novel lol it just makes me sad tbh
No. 1523429
>>1523378Nona I deal with similar issues and I’m sorry you’re feeling burnt out.. I know what that feels like and it’s just like everything’s an exhausting chore.
For me, being in nature/outside just a little each day, as well as meditation (even really really short meditation) has helped to sort of reset my brain a bit. It doesn’t fix everything but it just sort of helps me to be aware of my needs more? Like when I’m hungry, when my back hurts, when I’m losing focus etc.
And please don’t forget to rest and give yourself a break when you need it.
No. 1523878
>>1521750Yes, and to be honest I just own it, people won't stop their day or what they're doing usually and they move on quickly. Unless I'm actually sobbing or making noise, I've noticed that most people can't tell I'm actually crying anyway. Or maybe I'm just around shit people kek but I feel like most people don't care because that's just how they are. So I wouldn't worry about it too much
nonny.
No. 1523961
>>1520786So I made this post here
>>1515489 and had to quit taking my meds for a few days because I ran out and couldn't get a refill. I must legit be retarded because now that I've been off my meds for a good couple days, I feel so much less anxious. I had no idea my Vyvanse was giving me this intense anxiety I've felt nearly every day for years. I constantly felt like something bad was going to happen. I knew I was bad at understanding myself but this really says a lot kek
>It's been two months but I'm having trouble focusing againI worry this will happen to me too. I'm considering asking my doctor if I can switch to modafinil.
No. 1524066
>>1523365I think for most people diagnosed as adults, it was a result of them not coping from childhood and hoping they would "grow out of it" or some such. When you get to late 20s/30s and you're still unable to function properly, hold down a job, make friends or whatever else is expected, and most likely having regular breakdowns and anxiety etc. then it's worth getting referred from a doctor. If you're able to pay privately for a one off assessment ($$$) even better, cos then you can speak to someone who won't dismiss you. Even if they don't think you're ND they can give you some advice.
Also lol at that gif
No. 1524158
File: 1678886237682.jpg (9.46 KB, 275x178, 1640893472421.jpg)
>>1524066ayrt This is exactly what I'm going through. I can't hold down a job that involves working in teams (I work so much better alone), can't do anything that's expected of me as an adult and keep friends and i have breakdowns regularly. The problem is I can't find a doctor in the area that is taking on new clients. Trying to keep it together.
No. 1524611
>>1524033I take ritalin and the moment it stops working i literally am knocked the fuck out. I can't complain about this because it helps me sleep.
>>1523378>after high school, i fell apart and couldn't handle college life because there was 0 structure.This happened to me also. Unfortunately my parents don't understand just how much of an impact adhd as on my life, likely due to language barrier and they will probably straight up refuse to accept it's a real thing and just some western bullshit. Congratulations on getting your life on track somewhat, you shouldn't feel sad. A lot of adhd people literally just succumb to drugs and depression when they don't get their shit together.
No. 1524648
>>1521422I don't really have any hobbies, but there's literally only like 5 topics that can get me to go on and on for ages, you literally can't get me to shut the fuck up even though i normally say absolutely nothing most of the time.
>>1524639Tbh, not for me. I think the thing keeping me here is that it's the first place on the internet where i can literally be honest about myself without backlash. I do enjoy the cow boards very much though nonetheless.
>>1524641I definitely used to have this mindset tbh. I used to be so depressed that i missed out on having a teenage experience and pretty much depleted my early 20s. Tbh, i am glad i isolated myself because i do not belong with normies in any capacity. I realised i was lying to myself about wanting these things because i wanted to be normal so fucking bad to the point of driving myself into depression. I also do think that it is important to not deprive yourself of life experiences of like travel. A lot of those experiences that are things that you think you should have. You don't have to do anything you are not comfortable and tbh i think you should reflect if you have any business being around such people. You don't need their approval, it's not worth anything.
No. 1524849
>>1524641Some of those things are pretty overrated anyway, like tattoos get so dull and blurry after only a couple years, and clubs are overrated and only seem interesting for people looking for a place to find random drunk sex easily. 24 is so young really too. I didn’t go to a big concert until I was almost 30. Anyway, I think you can rest assured that you don’t need common normie experiences on their timeline or at all to have a fun, satisfying life that even has thrills in it. If you think about it almost all of human existence has been people who haven’t done that list of things, it’s more or less modern contrivances. While I’ve enjoyed some of it, particularly as a fellow autist I’m glad to just enjoy life at my own pace and in my own way now.
Fear of the unknown and inability to take on new tasks (both from executive function issues and autistic demand avoidance) can be playing into your issue of coming home from class and feeling like you can’t do anything and that is definitely the thing you have to tackle. Try taking it in more palatable small steps, or thinking of activities that might feel more approachable and “allowed” (maybe something that feels healthy or productive and therefore good, or think of starting up a new hobby as a goal) that could still make you feel happy. Also look into autistic inertia, that may be relevant for you too.
No. 1524984
>>1524641I'm in my 30s now and if I could make one thing clear to my younger self it's that growing up (whether it's becoming a teenager or adult) doesn't mean having to experience what everyone else around you is experiencing. And there is no checklist of things you have to do and achieve. It's personal. This was really hard for me too. Not that I
ever wanted to go clubbing or get a tattoo, but just feeling like I was abnormal for not being interested in that stuff. And even if I was, I wouldn't know how to go about it.
I didn't have a relationship til my late twenties, and it's still weird to me that it even happened tbh kek. I liked the idea of travel in theory but in reality it's not been something I've ever felt motivated to do. I'm still very much a "childish" woman and my life is never going to be like my peers. I did try and force myself a lot when I was in my 20s, I would put myself through so much discomfort and panic to try and be like other people because I kept falling for the "you just need to put yourself out there" and "get out your comfort zone" meme. I was constantly burned out from the smallest amount. I never even did anything wild, but even the attempt made me freak out.
Then I discovered the concept of figuring out what
I like and what
I want to do instead of obsessing over what I should or should not be doing. It sounds like you need to do the same thing if you're feeling alienated, try and figure out what a fulfilling life really looks like to YOU, whilst removing all notions of what other people your age like to do from your mind. It can be very liberating.
>I see so many people online at my age who are so familiar with the different operationsAlso this depresses me. Crazy how normalised surgery has become.
No. 1525207
>>1524641I'm 25 and know exactly how you feel. It makes me depressed at times thinking about how childish and stunted I am compared to other people my age. I don't drive, have never had a s/o, no friends or social circle, spend all of my time outside of work at home, don't go out on holidays, etc.
The only thing I find that helps is just doing the things I want to do alone and remembering that I don't need permission to do things anymore. You could start with some smaller, easier things like going to a cafe/restaurant or out to a movie on your own. It helps me feel a bit more grown up as silly as it sounds and it gives me something to talk to normies about so I don't sound like a total hermit kek
No. 1528199
>be child me, perfectly happy playing alone
>ANON JUST GO ASK TO PLAY WITH THEM, JUST BE YOURSELF, JUST GO SAY HI, DON'T EVER LET YOUR DIAGNOSIS HOLD YOU BACK!!!
>go say hi and be myself, get brutally rejected and bullied
>die inside
>go back to playing alone
>ANON JUST GO ASK TO PLAY WITH THEM, JUST BE YOURSELF, JUST GO SAY HI, DON'T EVER LET YOUR DIAGNOSIS HOLD YOU BACK!!!
Did anyone else get stuck in this loop with teachers as a child? I guess it's a type of toxic positivity, pressuring socially awkward people to just "put themselves out there" even though everyone knows it's not going to work. I have so many awful memories of being cringe and socially retarded and it was all preventable, I don't understand why I wasn't allowed to just read a book quietly by myself. Fuck being forced to publicly humiliate myself over and over and over again because some TA or recess supervisor thought she was gonna cure my autism with a pep talk.
No. 1528252
File: 1679252286037.png (35.4 KB, 452x686, unworthy.png)
>>1528199100% nona. I know picrel isn't specifically autism-related - and that being a loner or having low-self esteem isn't synonymous - but this excerpt from
Unworthy hit the nail on the head for me.
There is a superficial and sometimes naive understanding of how different people function in the world. First, there is this magical idea that everyone can and will accept you for who you are. Second, even though they say you should "be yourself" and deserve love etc etc. they are still trying to correct your personality (eg, shyness or introversion is always something we are told to overcome).
No. 1530136
>>1529966>the most truamatic bullying happened when i was an adult and everyone kept telling me that adults are so amazing and forgivingI feel like adults are more likely to make snide comments and then act like you are over reacting when you say something about it or get all upset when say something back. Just why.
>What i thought was loneliness was only the shame of looking like a loner because i was taught that i needed to be sad about being aloneSame. As soon as I got used to doing more things alone and no longer had an "audience" for most of my day, I stopped being lonely. I do like having a partner though as I'm quite huggy for an autist but I don't care about friends as find them exhausting and I never get the same amount of energy out as I put in.
No. 1530301
>>1530297samefagging to add that whenever i bring up this issue, people say "make a list and stick to it" but i already do that and still miss basic things somehow. it's embarrassing. what else could i try to make sure i'm seeing
the big picture? this is actually one of the things that makes me want to try medication because it feels like it's something beyond "working smarter".
No. 1531682
>>1531665Thank you nonna. I appreciate hearing that I sound autistic kek. I feel like it’s hard to feel seen most of the time.
I guess the state of the mental health field in the US just makes me feel totally disillusioned and constantly… confused. I’m dumb so I tell my therapist I think the idea of being trans is illogical and misogynistic, and she sort of treats me like a lost soul who will hopefully come to the light someday (she doesn’t engage with the subject directly but that’s what I assume she’s thinking). At the same time, even though she admits she knows little about autism, she gently tries to steer me away from the idea that I have it. I’ve read multiple books on female autism. I have lived my life as me. I think I have a better idea of whether it fits. And she’s otherwise very nice. She’s not even the only professional who has just dismissed me outright. I have brought it up with three other professionals and they all dismissed it right away.
I have anxiety, they can see that— but why? Could it be that I’m terrified of saying the wrong thing in a social setting from past experiences where I was punished for my awkwardness? I wish professionals would take a deeper look into the root causes of these so-called disorders.
Unfortunately/fortunately, I recognized the importance of appearance for women while I was growing up, so I treated clothes and makeup like a special interest. I engineered my look. And I guess I look normal, attractive even. I wanted protection from my awkwardness and in some ways the “mask” did the trick. But now I guess it’s too convincing. Never mind the level of disassociation and discomfort the mask required over the years. I assume that I’d need to do stereotypically autistic things in front of them for a professional to take me seriously, and at this point I have lost too much respect for them to jump through their hoops. Sorry for the rant.
No. 1531694
>>1531686I am glad you did get a diagnosis and you were believed. It’s just so frustrating how simple-minded people (even mental health professionals!) are about appearance, like it directly translates to who we are inside. It’s like the trans thing, it feels like normies are like “if you can trick my eyes, you are whatever you say you are!” How are people this shallow? That’s like the reasoning of a literal baby.
It does feel like autism is a very niche topic for some reason, even though it seems like it should be so fundamental, as the neurodivergence is the base reason for so many things in life. Of course there’s no medication for it, although there is for anxiety. So just to tinfoil a bit, why would an official medical body support or promote it over a downstream disorder that can be medicated? There’s no money to make from it.
Kek you’re right, I think good-looking and high-functioning guys totally fly under the radar. Seems like more of them feel totally unashamed and comfortable in their awkwardness and I feel so envious of that sometimes.
No. 1531702
>>1531694Find a professional that has experience with late diagnosed women. If you contact some charities they might be able to recommend someone.
Also, I know people in this thread hate self diagnosis but if you truly think you have it and don't need a formal diagnosis then that is enough.
No. 1531730
>>1531696It’s not easy and I’m sorry you’re dealing with it, too. That does seem to be a common thread, getting along easily with Asperger’s guys. Guys are easier for me too but I prefer female friendships, especially now that I realize how unlikely it is that guys actually can be friends. Other aspie/non-neurotypical women are the absolute best. I still wear makeup, too. I really don’t feel comfortable without it and I probably don’t feel good enough just as I am. But I love how other women look naturally and I think there are plenty of people who won’t judge you if you want to go without it.
>>1531702>>1531721Thank you, nonnies. I’ve thought about getting diagnosed before, but after searching around for local resources I sort of lost steam, and now I just feel sort of disillusioned with the whole thing. Part of me still yearns for validation, and I’m sure I’d love to get it from a mental health professional. But idk, I was misdiagnosed with other things until I figured out I have ADHD and then gently lead my psychiatrist to that conclusion myself, and it just seems like they look at a checklist that you can look at yourself, and don’t apply any extra critical thought. So why bother. I’m sorry if I sound bitter. I’m just disappointed by my past experiences.
No. 1531731
File: 1679624228927.jpg (12.59 KB, 275x275, aba0516d7646f6a28a8777684dee8e…)
it's 3am, I need to be up at 6am, I have a shitton of work and preparation I need to do for class and I haven't done any of it. My meds aren't fucking working. I'm fucking tired I can't live like this anymore
No. 1531801
>>1531755It can of course be hard to say without a lot more details about what you’re really like and what your internal experience of living life is like, but if advice for adult autistics to help manage life helps you, then it helps you. It’s worth pursuing just reading everything you can about autism traits and difficulties and appropriate management techniques and realistic limits and boundaries about those things and seeing if it helps you. Part of how I realized I was previously misdiagnosed with a ton of other irrelevant stuff was that after I realized autism sounded like me, I realized I’d been doing most of the coping strategies my whole life, and that the ones I hadn’t heard of actually did wonders for me. Like it turns out I can stand long days surrounded by chaos if I wear earplugs as soon as I start getting overwhelmed or upset by it.
>>1531796If you’re already done with school, then often times no if you have low support needs and wouldn’t be looking into workers rights or disability payments. There are downsides to having an official diagnosis like that it can result in work discrimination. It also costs an insane amount for the full proper tests. Simply getting a more informal initial assessment from an autism specialist and/or seeing a therapist who works with autistic people often and seeing how you feel from there is my personal usual recommendation for low support needs adults.
No. 1532306
File: 1679704274113.jpg (13.26 KB, 275x275, g-4.jpg)
I'm so frustrated I hate those online second-hand shops/marketplaces where you have to message the seller and talk to them because I suck at communication and articulating myself because I'm a sperg. I feel so awkward just telling them my address(for shipping purpose) right away and will wait until they directly ask for it. I just find the whole process painful and I can't begin to describe how much I hate talking to strangers while having to appear polite and not like a sperg.
I want to get an out-of-print translation of a book but this guy who was selling it stopped replying to my messages and now I'm scared if I appeared like a shady scammer or something. I don't even now if I should bother messaging him back. He also replied in short responses which made it harder for me to know what to say to him so he probably thought I was a weirdo and stopped replying. I hate this I just wanted to get this book without going on a scavenger hunt trough several used bookstores across the nation
No. 1532339
>>1532306>scared if I appeared like a shady scammer or somethingI hate anything like this too
nonnie and get the same anxious thoughts. I swear I come across so bad all the time because I just don't know what to say and get the timings wrong. usually I just give up and ghost people because the whole thing is too stressful.
>replied in short responses which made it harder for me to know what to sayhaving this problem right now with my boss. she gives such short and vague instructions that i don't understand and i literally don't even know how to ask her to elaborate. i spend hours trying to craft replies and it's painful.
communication problems suck so much.
No. 1532390
>>1532306Just send him a message saying "is this still available?". You might find transactions like this easier if you make a script to follow in the future, e.g. "Is this still available? … Does it have X? … Can I pay by X? … Paid, my address is X". Don't think too much about the responses, they might just be busy or get a lot of annoying messages.
I've stopped worry about seeming like a sperg these days because, well, I am one. Oh no, people are going to see what I really am and it's not even some terrible thing? I've got better things to do than worry about that. Plus it's not like I'm even going to see them again ever.
No. 1532719
File: 1679767133058.jpg (94.94 KB, 942x942, 337799999_1267781453812182_185…)
retard parents didn't take the clearly autistic kid to the doctors (me) now i'm an adult without a diagnosis of something I always had, people just think I'm weird and fucked up bc of my hyperfixations
No. 1533474
File: 1679857611310.jpg (10.83 KB, 312x296, tsj8l8ahuw431-3345458751.jpg)
>>1532390>>1532647>>1532656thanks for the replies! would it be inappropriate if I contacted him again and asking him if he was still interested, or is weird since it's been some days nows ince we first wrote?
No. 1535035
File: 1680020643339.jpg (11.26 KB, 261x275, 1671624684966.jpg)
This is more of a vent but I need to get this of my chest. I'm the anon at
>>1532306 and
>>1533474 and I genuinely think this guy blocked me or something because our previous chat doesn't show up and when I tried to send him a new message it didn't show up either, but he hasn't taken the sales page down because I can still see it. I'm so mad. This translation is rare and I felt so lucky that I just stumbled upon it so fast and then I screw it up with my poor communication skills. Honestly, I don't even think I was being pushy but it's always hard to judge yourself so what do I know. It's just that I asked stupid and obvious questions like "is this form for payment okay"(even though it is the only form for payment people use on this site), "can you ship it"(even though it says so in his profile), "when do you want me to send the money?"(of course he wanted it ASAP so idk why I was stalling). I'm just frustrated by the whole ordeal. I really wanted this book and then I fuck up. I also feel a little hurt that I was blocked but that's silly since I don't even know the guy and he is allowed to block whoever he wants.
at least I found out that the library has the exact same translation so I get to read it, so that's good news! but if I want to own it then I need to start looking for it on different sites and stores No. 1535151
File: 1680031543846.png (80.44 KB, 750x737, Feelings Wheel WIP.png)
>>1533521yep, a therapist told me about it a few years ago (implying she thought I have it) after numerous agonising sessions where I couldn't put any feelings into words. i would just talk about the logistics of things without any feeling behind it. i sort of wanted therapy to be me presenting a problem and the therapist to give me a solution but turns out that's not how it works at all… basically I only know i'm stressed if i'm literally having a panic attack or get diarrhoea or something (sorry) and don't know i'm sad unless i'm in tears (which is rare and
always unexpected). she gave me a
'feelings wheel' to help me put feelings into words which was kind of cringe. i'm 30 years old. but in fairness it was quite useful, it basically gives you options based on intensity, so if you know you feel vaguely "bad" or "off" it will help you narrow down. over time i have gotten better, mostly through verbalising (even if it's just too myself) when i know how i'm feeling. turns out i'm pissed off a lot more than i realised kek. but generally speaking most of my feelings are nebulous and uncertain to me.
No. 1535741
>>1533701I think I had very little empathy up to about mid twenties but now I seem to have more than most people and kind of hate this planet for how much everyone just doesn't care. Saying that, I do still find myself sometimes rolling my eyes at people going through something difficult that I had to face alone (also have
abusive parents) even though I know needing help shouldn't be a bad thing. I guess that's more a form of jealousy though than not recognizing their feelings.
No. 1535792
>>1535744ayrt this has been the bane of my life, really. i have a lot of chronic pain and illnesses, many of which don't have straight forward explanations and was given diagnoses like
fibromyalgia, even though I have confirmed EDS, to dismiss it away or imply it was emotional pain manifesting. it's so frustrating. the thing is, i tried so hard in my 20s. i accepted that i was perhaps "emotionally repressed" and needed to get in touch with my feelings, and that's what led me to therapy but i also tried meditation and breathing exercises, journaling and all that shit that is meant to make you more emotionally aware. i found it all very damaging, truthfully. it just brought attention to how unnatural it is to me - to the point where i actually disassociated for a while and felt like an alien. i feel physically worse than ever after trying to be something i'm not. there is so much pressure to be expressive and open in this current climate and I don't think it's always a positive or useful thing. especially if you're being told that your physical pain is reliant on you addressing your emotions. did your health issue get resolved in the end by the way?
i just focus on learning how to communicate roughly what i might feel about things now by taking cues from my physical state, instead of expecting to feel a deep connection to my emotions at all times. but it was always more of a problem for others than it was for me.
No. 1535836
>>1535792I would say it’s mostly solved now. A doctor years later confirmed it the area was sort of shaped strangely which causes issues but I also think I have a lot of physical tension from growing up with
abusive parents (I wasn’t aware they were
abusive when I did therapy as that was “normal” for me). Maybe therapy could have actually helped if the therapist was better and not so determined to make me feel like my way of thinking was wrong. Anyway, I’ve focused on the physical issues mostly and it worked.
Agree about meditation. Seems to do great things for some people. I tried a few times alone and in a group and even went to a special session in a temple in Asia. But it doesn’t work for me. I have ADHD and having quiet in my head is mentally painful for me. Why is always being curious and wanting to learn new things a bad thing anyway. I’m happier just accepting how I am.
No. 1535872
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Is there anyone else here who was physically/emotionally abused for their symptoms growing up, wasn't diagnosed until adulthood, and has become completely estranged from their family? I am in my 30's and have absolutely no support system, I can't hold a job, and I am so intolerably lonely. I don't know why I exist, no one wants me around and I contribute nothing to society, my brain will never shut the fuck up and I'm too chickenshit to kill myself.
No. 1535890
>>1535872I’m exactly like this. I’ve applied for 40 something jobs in the last month and got nothing. I would have applied for more but I know I can’t do in person work (tried many times before my diagnosis) so applied for everything else I’m remotely qualified for (
abusive parents meant I have awful qualifications which doesn’t help). I’ve very lucky that I have a partner I live off of but we’ve been in a long distance relationship for most of it so I’m physically alone basically all the time.
>I contribute nothing to societyPlease stop having a capitalist mindset. You are allowed to just exist. I bet that almost most people contribute hardly anything beyond the bare minimum required (e.g. taxes) and what it takes to maintain relationships for their own advantage. Forget about the big picture and just focus on you and your needs. It’s what everyone else does. Autists are a lot less selfish but unfortunately we live in a very selfish society so we need to adapt to survive.
No. 1535891
>>1535872I’m exactly like this. I’ve applied for 40 something jobs in the last month and got nothing. I would have applied for more but I know I can’t do in person work (tried many times before my diagnosis) so applied for everything else I’m remotely qualified for (
abusive parents meant I have awful qualifications which doesn’t help). I’ve very lucky that I have a partner I live off of but we’ve been in a long distance relationship for most of it so I’m physically alone basically all the time.
>I contribute nothing to societyPlease stop having a capitalist mindset. You are allowed to just exist. I bet that almost most people contribute hardly anything beyond the bare minimum required (e.g. taxes) and what it takes to maintain relationships for their own advantage. Forget about the big picture and just focus on you and your needs. It’s what everyone else does. Autists are a lot less selfish but unfortunately we live in a very selfish society so we need to adapt to survive.
No. 1535915
>>1535836>happier just accepting how i amme too. glad you came to the same conclusion too despite the horrible stuff you went through.
>having quiet in my head is mentally painfulI actually love quiet and just sitting doing nothing, blankly staring. it's basically daydreaming, which relaxes me. but meditation is so different because it's not allowing the mind to wander naturally - it's focusing on one thing (eg, breathing) and disconnecting you from yourself or "ego". if you're already a daydreamy person who has trouble connecting to their inner feelings or lacking identity, then this can be dangerous imo, not to sound too overdramatic. i've heard about people going into psychosis just practising for a short amount of time. doing things that ground you is a much better way to relax from my experience, like walks in nature or something.
No. 1536331
>>1535872I an not estranged from my family yet, but i do plan on ditching them after i get a decent job. But yes, my mother in particular would yell at me for acting autistic constantly and has pushed me into having mental breakdowns by constantly making me go to huge family events where my social capacities were pushed beyond my limits. When i would vent to her about how nobody wanted to be my friend in school one time she got angry and blew up at me saying that it's my fault that nobody likes me and that i am just a terrible person. Before hand, she would beg me to make friends at school and said she would give money if I make friends and introduce them to her. The kicker is that they know what autism is but completely refused to do anything about it and threw me into school whilst i was non-verbal and got angry about how much time i wasted having to sit with me for speech therapy, which is the only treatment for autism i ever got. I had been asked if i was autistic constantly as a child. I am sure i never got diagnosed because my parents were too lazy and selfish to sit through the 2-3 hour assessment and would rather waste their time watching tv. They have constantly let me down with their own selfishness and disinterest in my well being.
I also wanted to say to you anon is that don't worry about not contributing to society, the vast majority of people work for their own benefit, not for the sake of society or else people would be pursuing things that they actually enjoy. I envy autistic anons whose parents let them be neets. My parents forced me to work awful jobs. My job i straight up got fired in, my second one i had very kind and understanding managers who let me stay away from the till and my current one, i accidently had a little sperg out and I want to quit because of it and I am embarrassed, but there's literally no other jobs near me that will let me not talk to anybody so i am stuck with it until i get fired.
A side note, but i also am a little annoyed at introverted people who are socially successful pretending that they understand me or have anything in common with me when they don't. I know they would die of loneliness if they had my life and literally complain about having no friends when they have people to hang out with, a bf and an overall happy life.
No. 1536645
>>1536483i second this as well, a solid schedule is not only very satisfying but also can benefit you so much long term,
nonnie. you dont want to have bladder or kidney problems and be on expensive meds and piss yourself in diapers down the line, prevention is always superior to treatment.
there are many actually great "hot girl" trends going around right now, like waking up and drinking hot lemon water (coffee is fine too but not right as you wake up as you may crash but its great if you want to make yourself poop early)
then you should have a few weeks of trying your hardest to listen to your body and see when its usually ready to come out, could be an hour later or two but you can just sit on the toilet and take your time.
eating something at noon and drinking afterwards would put you into a similar spot, try hard to be cognizant of your schedule if you cant rely on your bodily urges. im sure you can do it if you truly want to nonna.
No. 1537582
>>1537030>>1537106Thank you nonnies, that does help, genuinely.
I think it got to me more lately because since the pandemic happened I became a shut in the ways I've only been since my worst bout of depression. And it wasn't even a choice in this case.
No. 1539160
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>>1539040Yes, actually. Of course nothing can justify what she did, but I can't really bring myself to hate her the way I've seen some commenters do. I just feel a really uncanny sense of grief and sadness, and it makes me uncomfortable how much I actually relate to her story prior to the shooting. Being GNC, idealizing the few childhood moments when I felt like I belonged, feeling terribly lonely when I realized my friends would only hang out with me at school and not on our freetime, obsessing unhealthily over crushes (though with me it just results in me distancing myself from them in order to not be seen as creepy). I even did sort of flip out when a friend khs when I was a teen and spent a while in the hospital, fucking hell.
I mean, my life is good now and I have a career and friends (sort of? mostly my colleagues who are also spergs and don't mind me being weird) but it's still painful to acknowledge that I'm not actually able to pass as normal, that people are always going to see me as a weirdo.
No. 1539225
>>1539002For me the biggest thing it was worth it for was peace of mind, and knowing i wasn't crazy or just terrible at dealing with life. It will also be very useful in the future if I need support or accommodations.
Who would you plan on sharing your diagnosis with? socially, I haven't mentioned it to anyone except my parents and don't plan on telling anyone else. I don't have any close friends that would need to know. Most other people I know already think I'm "autistic-like" but I'm obviously high functioning so there is no need to confirm it or draw attention to it.
It is on my doctor's record of course but haven't experienced any different treatment so far and I'm glad they have known about it for the times I've had panic attacks. But I suppose anything that requires sharing your medical history could lead you to discrimination potentially, unless legally protected. However, unlikely (unless we want to get into hypothetical futuristic dystopian scenarios).
Legally workplaces cannot discriminate against autism. For insurance purposes, my employer's automatically have the information of my diagnosis but it's never come up otherwise as I work from home. However, it's something to bear in mind that some corporations and bosses go overboard with the positive discrimination because they have a quota to fill with disabilities and neurodiversity, which can be embarrassing (and also a big reason why narcissists milk their diagnoses) but if you share with your colleagues it's possible they'll treat you differently, even if you're very high functioning.
Sorry for the long answer but in summation, I think it's worth to not always be wondering why you are the way you are. Cos that fucks with your self-esteem a lot.
No. 1539243
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how do you deal with disruptions in routine? I had a week earlier this month where I had to leave my home for a few days and deal with stressful stuff, I didn't cope with it very well but now I'm back home and could get back to normal but don't know how. forgot everything i'm meant to be doing.
No. 1540023
>>1535872same except i'm stuck with the family that treats me like trash, no motivation or self esteem to even get out of the situation.
I don't care about contributing to society, it's all shit and they can all go to hell, but i would like to at least be independent so i don't have to walk on eggshells and get insulted constantly
>>1536483 i have this issue too, i'll have bloody fingernails by the time i realize it's because i've got low blood sugar and need to eat, and by the time i realize i need to pee i have to run to the toilet
>>1539002depends on where you live, you can get financial help in some countries, it was useless for me tho since we don't have that where we live, there's no help that i can receive as an adult, and disclosing in a workplace or socially would just get you mistreated because their understanding of autism is of only the most extreme cases. and who the fuck knows what the future holds, maybe we'll get a hitler 2.0 that wants to kill the tards, or just some laws that fuck us over. Last time i went to a psych and mentioned my autism she said it was irrelevant to my issues anyway since i appear smart, none of them care or understand it.
No. 1540194
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I can't let go of all the bitterness and pettiness I have. I have aspergers and ADD but I got diagnosed late in life. Regardless of that it still has affected me my whole life specially in school. I have been falling behind every class ever since I started school because ADD made it hard for me to focus and aspergers made it hard for me to actually understand the stuff we learned and understand orders. It also fucked up my social life and I hated being at school because I could never talk to people and while I was lucky enough to never get bully people did think I was weird. My parents has always been dismissive of my struggles in school and told me to just try harder. When I got my diagnosis they became more sympathetic to my issues. But now they want me to drop out of university because I'm struggling so much and they want me to move in with them again because they think I can't live on my own and while it is the most logical thing to do it just breaks my heart that I have to do that because I don't want to.
I do appreciate that they became more supportive and understanding but honestly all I want is an apology for them. They have dismissed all my problems trough my life telling me that I wasn't trying hard enough, I was being dramatic, I was the one who caused the issue to begin with, etc. I don't blame them for not getting me a diagnosis earlier. This was in a time where people weren't diagnosing kids left and right and they are from a country where mental health is still taboo but I wish they could at least admit that I needed extra help growing up and sometimes other kids where just cruel when they called me weird. I am grateful that they are supportive now but I feel like they didn't even try to understand me as a child and dismiss everything that happened to me and force me to do extra work that I couldn't do and then get mad when I failed at it. I just feel like that pity comes to late
No. 1540667
>>1540325i relate to this. used to have very bad social anxiety and was basically mute as a child but now i'm older, I ramble and volunteer information that actually makes me feel uncomfortable as i'm saying it.
when someone mentions something i know about or am interested in i get this overwhelming urge to vomit everything i know about the subject onto them and it's very cringe. and it catches people off guard because i come across shy and quiet at first. it feels like I just can't let it pass. and if anyone opens up about their personal life, i will overshare in return even though i absolutely hate it and it makes me feel so stressed afterwards.
not a suggestion but i just deal with it by avoiding talking to people, period and overshare anonymously online instead kek.
No. 1541141
>>1540325I don’t do anything. My therapist I go to who specializes in autism basically just consistently gives me the following two main pieces of advice: 1. take the rest and draw the boundaries you need, and 2. do everything in your power to stop giving a fuck that people find you weird.
My mental health, my overall comfort, and my social life have skyrocketed in quality and richness since committing myself to doing whatever the fuck I want and unabashedly accepting that I am autistic, that I have different needs and boundaries, and that I’m always going to be weird. I don’t make myself smaller or apologize or look down on myself for it now. If people dislike it then I don’t care about them. And it turns out people don’t dislike it as much as I thought. People are surprised, curious, amazed, sometimes even creeped out—and yet they continue to seek out my company, despite how different I am and the weird way I socialize, how I infodump, how strange my interests are and everything. And if they don’t like me they can go fuck themselves. That’s my advice. I’ve lost some connections since accepting myself, and I feel okay with that. I’ve also gained some new ones since realizing I can open up without fear.
Obviously for concrete specific goals like thriving in a work environment for the purpose of making money, it pays to put on a mask and play a character of a more bland palatable normie. For that I tend to be a little on the boring side, erring on the side of caution, giving bland responses, imagining a character to play.
But in random social interactions? No, I’m not gonna do shit to change myself anymore, and now I’m happier than ever. People can go ahead and listen to my 30 minute rant about one of my weird special interests and go “huh… that’s super weird but kind of in a fun way! I thought you were really shy and scary though, I didn’t know you could act this animated!” and it just slides off me or I even enjoy it. I would rather be seen as who I am than spend the rest of my life 24/7 play acting as a thin shadow of something I can never be.
No. 1541164
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I am still not really sure if I have ADD. I am certainly a sperg but I have always had really bad executive functioning issues even on my best days and tend to be distracted easily. I want to not worry about completing things but my brain is horrifically broken wow I really had to be blessed that way
>>1500666>>1519362>>1532719me too nonnies. 80% of the time it just makes me want to get run over but at this point I'm just hoping for the best and trying not to freak myself out by thinking about my future anymore
>>1539040>how she was stuck mentally in middle school because that's the last time she had a friend groupI honestly haven't been keeping up with it but this is so similar to me ouch
No. 1541890
>>1541125ntayrt but can you give an example of how this might work? I'd really like to practice this.
Also… has anyone noticed how anti-autism this site has gotten at the moment? I know all imageboards have a history of mocking it and I'm not really talking about the light insults that can sometimes be thrown around or used as jokes. I mean that there's a real aggressive anti-autism rhetoric on here lately that seems to be everywhere on /ot/ and I think the recent Audrey Hale case has caused a nasty explosion of it in the FtM thread too. I always assumed a large chunk of nonnies had autism themselves or some other kind of neurodivergency, so the weird vitriol and backwards talking points I've been seeing everywhere have been really getting to me. I've been thinking of taking a break for awhile until nonnies go back to normal, or maybe just browsing /m/… is it just me? I swear anons haven't been so aggro about autists in awhile.
No. 1542442
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A couple of days ago I went for a screening for autism with a psychologist as I wanted to know whether or not I had it as I always suspected it since I was younger as my behaviour and interest didn't often align with people around my age and the fact that when I was younger a classmate of mine asked if I had it which I didn't even know what that was at the time until much later.
What I wanted to ask is the fact that the psychologist had halfway into the interview confirmed my suspicion based on the pitch of my voice and body language particularly the way I was sitting on the sofa for example when I heard that I had struggled to either sit up straighter or gain my composure as I was crying with this revelation as I was actually hoping it was untrue. There was more however, I don't really remember it. Is it normal to get a confirmation so easily? While I'm not diagnosed as the psychologist wants to speak to my father and I have to come back later for further testing as the psychologist wants me to get evaluated for autism and I want to as I want to understand it better and give it to the university I'm going in to show that I'm not a terrible student, just that I have difficulties with adjusting to it.
Also the psychologist told me I most likely have ADHD which I was surprised to hear as I never suspected that and only thought I had diagnosed dyslexia and maybe autism.
One more question is why has aspergers fallen out and instead the use of autism spectrum has become more normalised? Asking because I had tried to look for a screening test for aspergers years ago in my country but could never find one. Picunrel
No. 1542458
>>1542442Aspergers no longer exists in the dsm and was grouped under autism diagnosis with a few other diagnoses in dsm-5 which came out in 2013, that'd now probably be referred to as "autism level 1". Because it became better understood that rather than being two separate phenomenon, and it being hard to tease out the criteria for one condition and not the other, combining them into one diagnosis makes sense.
https://www.spectrumnews.org/opinion/viewpoint/why-fold-asperger-syndrome-into-autism-spectrum-disorder-in-the-dsm-5/Which is what I was diagnosed with when I got my autism diagnosis in 2021. Personally, I see the benefits of both having the Aspergers as separate diagnosis, or group it under a wider autism umbrella diagnosis for people with this level of social disability where they can mostly function on their own and don't have an intellectual disability. I hope over time a better, more precise diagnoses that chart specific levels of social, emotional, intellectual, and intellectual disability/challenges/needs evolves.
Also, Asperger was a nazi collaborator and sent children to their deaths. Sometimes it seems superficial to rename terms because the labels seem problematid, but imo it's good here when he was part of and enabled a very evil system. It's sick to name a condition after someone who sent children with disabilities to death, vs. other people (many women!) in psychology like Lorna Wing who made strides.
Link about Asperger and mentions book which I recommend
https://www.vox.com/platform/amp/conversations/2018/5/22/17377766/asperger-nazi-rename-syndrome No. 1544422
Nonnies, how to know if I am possibly autistic or not? Not that I want to use your answers to autodiagnose myself and post all over Tumblr like an attention whoring tumblr-chan or anything but honestly I always have felt that I am too weird to be a neurotypical and at least that would give me a good pointer to see if I should seek an official diagnosis (when I get the resources to it) or if I should bury that questioning alltogether. I will left unsaged because, honestly, I hope to get more answers this way. I mean I am not socially inept, I can do things and don't have much of social anxiety but there is some weirdness when I interact with other people. I can't maintain eye contact when talking with other people. I can talk about a lot of subjects but I just feel weird about my tone of voice/timing so I most keep listening in group talk.
There's also my hobbies. Some of them are very normie-like, like literature or cinema, but at the same time I like anime, am a fujo-chan and kpop-chan and have interests that I get too fixed about like dolls and doll collecting in general (I have two other interests that I am super fixated too but I can't say since though they are not niche it would be identifiable still). And I tend to get fixated on some random subjects from time to time, which is very much a waste of time when coupled with my procrastination tendencies.
I used to behave more weirder when I was younger. I often sat all alone and kept either reading/drawing/daydreaming during recess. So much that some people thought I was a huge retard maybe except that I got the best grades in class so I dunno. That stopped when I was in 6th grade thankfully.
I don't have stims which seem a common thing in autistic people, maybe except if you guys count picking my own skin as one. It is awful because I have marks all over my arms and legs (though I do effort to hide them and don't go outside a lot which helps), but it is automatic and it gives me something to distract and it is soothing though it is literally self harm.
Idk what to do. I feel like I am odd one out but I wouldn't give a single fuck if that didn't affect things like finding a job (that is admittely a source of anxiety for me, not the working part but the selection part), I hate being rejected but honestly I am tired of not being a productive member of society. That just heightens my suicidal thoughts and feeling useless. If somehow I could get a job without doing all the hiring process part it would be perfect but I am not a heiress kek.
Sorry if it is confusing to read. I can give more details and answer questions if you guys have them. But any kind of help would be greatly appreciated, nonitchkas.
No. 1544431
>>1542442Yes, it often is that easy. I was given a ton of related/false diagnoses my whole life and slid under the radar because my parents didn’t follow up on doctors’ suggestions of autism, but when I finally went in to an autism specialist it was insanely easy and fast, they flat out told me after 1 hour they were certain they could diagnose me based on my history. I don’t have the same paperwork I’d get from the several hours of tests costing several thousand dollars, but they even told me it was optional for me and up to if I wanted it or not because their confidence was so high already. So yeah it can be easy despite how the internet claims “all doctors will doubt you and you’ll meet 20 doctors who say you can’t be autistic because you’re a girl,” tbh I think some of those people just don’t have it kek, doctors may miss it in girls but when they know they’re specifically looking for autism then they rarely miss it once they start testing you and asking you the relevant questions.
>>1544422Autism is a developmental disorder that significantly impacts social and life function. See a specialist if you think your behavior and struggles warrant it. The world has many awkward people who watch anime and pick their skin and aren’t disabled but we cannot judge based solely off an internet post.
No. 1544690
>>1544593I have never had a breakdown but I feel insanely overwhelmed by lights and like to stay in dark unless it is absolutely necessary. Noises too but those can be manageable. I am a picky eater because lots of textures and tastes bother me a lot and my nails are always short because I hate the feeling of them digging on my skin when they are growing up. I hate the sensation of combing my hair or brushing my teeth (I do them both don't worry, but I don't comb my hair daily if I can get away with it kek). Idk if those would count as sensory issues.
Another issue that I have is that I take things too seriously and have trouble touching other people. I feel uncomfortable with them crying next to me or just chewing. Hell I hate standing close to crying kids or loud teens. Or any crowd in general. I avoid most of it but I can force myself if I have to do something.
I guess I will have to find a way to get some money and save to a psychiatrist. They are insanely expensive in my country and not all of them are specialized in autism so I will see how I can get a diagnosis.
No. 1545784
I am so frustrated about adhd. I have an exam tomorrow and I feel so unprepared despite cramming for a whole week. I can't concentrate on my notes. I also did some exams for another class, i did a decent job studying, but on the day of the exam it's like is straight up got amnesia. It was really fucking upsetting and I ended up failing. My most recent exam, this happened to me again, except i managed to pass with an ok grade. I know grades don't matter because c gets degrees, but I am totally sick of feeling like i have potential to excel in certain things and I have a decent interest in the things i am studying in, but my memory is so fucking awful and I can't centrate for 20 minutes. It's so fucking annoying working so hard, but getting the same results as somebody who barely tries, is lazy and goes out every night partying. To top it off, i might fail one of my classes just because I forgot to hand in a piece of work and procrastinated informing my professor about this. I also have another piece of work i didn't hand in and I have been procrastinating completing it for almost 2 months even though I can do it at any time and it's literally half done, all because there was one question that was really hard to do. I also only got my diagnosis in the middle of the semester, too late to get special accommodations like extra time which i REALLY needed for the courses where you have to memorise formulas and shit, also so my professors can understand that my autism makes me struggle with group work, i literally had a mental break down when i had to find a group on my own and all the groups were full… It was so embarrassing, i had to hold in my tears so much. I feel so embarrassed to ask for help for stuff related to adhd because i have it in my head that nobody will believe me and think i am making everything up.
No. 1546042
>>1545784poor
nonnie do you take meds for adhd?
No. 1546135
>>1542458>Aspergers no longer exists in the dsm and was grouped under autism diagnosis with a few other diagnoses in dsm-5 which came out in 2013, that'd now probably be referred to as "autism level 1". Because it became better understood that rather than being two separate phenomenon, and it being hard to tease out the criteria for one condition and not the other, combining them into one diagnosis makes sense.The DSM-5 is not a universal standard and many countries (including mine) still to this day in 2023 give out Asperger as a
valid diagnosis.
It wasn't a justifiable merge to me because everyone already knew they were related conditions, just as we all know ADHD is related to autism but we don't call ADHD "autism level 4", and having a clear distinction is more useful for everyone involved. For example something like "my child is autistic" could now mean "my child can read and write far above their level and is aceing every test at school but struggles with sarcasm and that makes it hard for them to make friends" or it could mean "my child has little to no social awareness whatsoever, can barely speak and spends all day every day listening to the simpsons intro over and over but doesn't watch the show". If I go to an autism support group and they are aimed at helping lower functioning people I get no help and feel alienated. If I go to a an autism support group aimed at high function people then the lower functioning people get no help instead. If it's a mix of high/low function help, then still half the time and resources will be for things not aimed at the end I'm at. They are so different they might as well be different conditions. That's why they stupidly have "levels" now instead, to fix a problem they created that didn't exist before.
Sorry for sperging nonas, I just feel autisticly passionate about it lmao
No. 1546395
>>1546135This. One of the links posted above also pointed out that it's going it make it even harder for women to get diagnosed and more will end up with a BPD or vague anxiety diagnosis instead.
The fact that people still use Aspergers, use "what used to be called Aspergers", use "high functioning autism" wrong, and say "a bit autistic" shows that there is clearly a need for a term to separate people. Even if it was just something like "type 1 can live independently, and type 2 can't live independently" it would be really useful.
Was any autistic person actually asking for the change? I'm guessing not.
No. 1547591
>>1539040Definitely a tragedy on all parts. I kind of relate to her as an autistic girl and I've been trying to find more of her internet footprint. I think audrey was lonely but I think she is a sick and sadisitc individual. Though I am lonely due to my awkwardness and social ineptness I would never have wished harm among the friends who have created distance with me throughout the years.
I definitely agree with you though. Autistic girls need community just as much as regular people.
No. 1549778
>>1545784THIS. Omg I totally feel you! I spent literally my own life like that, with my mom telling me since I was in elementary school “at your age I would be able to do my homework by my own, why can’t you do the same?! You’re so intelligent, why wouldn’t you put more effort in your studies?”. I lived like this literally until I finished high school, and it didn’t stop to my mom, but also the teachers and the psychologists I went to during my whole life always told me that I should “concentrate more” and “limit distractions” and also “study more” and such. I’ve accepted that I basically suck at school and in studies, and apparently my mom had accepted it too. All of this mess stopped when I found out about ADHD through a friend of mine who has it diagnosed from a very long time. This friend gave me the number of her neuropsychiatrist, and it literally took one and and half session for this doctor to diagnose me with ADHD, like, it was so clear…. Now I’m doing other tests about logical thinking and such (there’s basically a whole lifetime to unpack, lol) with her in order to formulate a complete diagnosis, and after all of these years of being misdiagnosed (?) I almost feel excited that everything is falling on the right place.
It literally took me a lifetime to go to my mom and tell her “I’m sorry I’m not able to study on my own, but I literally did my best and I couldn’t do more than that”. She did what she could, and I hope that something will change now
No. 1550509
>>1546395nayrt, but I agree and it annoys me in the same sense in that appearently they're currently trying to get rid of the terms "high" and "low" functioning.
Just makes me so mad. Like I don't care if it makes someone feel bad. The spectrum is huge, you can't just go "everyone's a little bit low functioning sometimes!" when on one end you can hold jobs and have normal relationships, and the other end can't speak, eat, or go to the bathroom.
No. 1550582
>>1550509Since writing that, I learned that there does seem to be some sort of system similar to what I said:
https://theplaceforchildrenwithautism.com/diagnosing-autism/the-three-levels-of-autism
>ASD Level 1: Requiring Support>ASD Level 2: Requiring Substantial Support>ASD Level 3: Requiring Very Substantial SupportClearly its not working though.
No. 1552013
>>1550625Yes, I think so as I'm the same. I think things around aspies sometimes get a bit black and white in thinking, like you must get everything or nothing.
I don't tend to have issues with people I know well but I get thrown by people being sarcastic but not using a sarcastic tone if I don't know them.
I used to be quiet a lot at school, not because I was shy, but because I just did not know what to say to people.
And I often get people thinking I'm stuck up because I'm quiet and don't have "warm" body language. I know the things people do but it's not really automatic for me and sometimes I do it wrong and seem weird,
No. 1552811
>>1552801That's not what I meant. I can often be is social situations in groups, perfectly calm and comfortable. I want to join in but I don't know how. Nothing comes to mind. I don't know the rules.
If do manage to say something and I'm not masking strongly, then it's weird and doing things wrong.
No. 1553266
>>1553188The psychiatrist that assessed me before will be pleased to hear it /s
Seriously though, why are anons so obsessed with being the only autist in the thread here.
No. 1553449
File: 1681846534609.png (84.65 KB, 356x643, autismtranslaed.png)
I'm trying to figure out how common being a TERF is for autistic women. we all hear about how trans & enby identities are super common for neurodiverse people but it never made sense to me (both the gender shit and why it's popular with autistic people, especially). I cannot accept trans ideology because it's completely illogical and even pretending to understand it would be a lie. I would have thought this would be the same issue for way more aspies than I'm seeing. is it just that all the autistic spaces online shut down all debate and maybe people are too afraid/confused to speak out?
picrel is a now deleted post, that had one or two comments in agreement but mostly comments scolding and "educating" her. one comparing her to a nazi. I know it's a woman on reddit so it's not that surprising but it's only the second time I've seen someone bring it up in an autistic group (the first time being on a facebook group and that very sweet, polite and well-spoken woman got banned too).
I thought it was well understood that many of us have trouble understanding social things and are sticklers for logic. hell, that's why so many of us are gender non-conforming in the first place, because gender is made up social stereotypes that make no sense. I know some of us are more attuned to fantasy and magical thinking whereas others, like me, cannot even engage in fiction. I suspect this is a big part of it. what are your thoughts and experiences nonnies?
No. 1553491
>>1553483>you do not need autism to observe basic thingsno one said that. i'm the first anon and my post is trying to figure out why so many autistic people don't question trans logic. we are normally sticklers and often outspoken when things aren't logical.
and the other anon - as I understood it - was saying that these are the qualities she attributes to being a
TERF by default. not that neurotypical people can't have the same (that's obvious).
No. 1553495
>>1553491Being a
terf is just your special interest right now
No. 1553576
>>1551643my experience with getting my diagnosis is probably different than others since I went to get tested for ADHD but they concluded I also had autism.
I got interviewed together with my mother where they asked about my childhood and my relationship with school. I was 16 at the time though so I don't know if you need a parent there if you are an adult.
I also took an IQ test which involves stuff like memory tasks, logic tasks and common knowledge questions(a real IQ test is screened by a psychiatristx don't believe those bullshit online quizzes). Btw IQ doesn't really determine autism since there are autists with high, low and average IQ. I think the point of this section is more just to see what sort of help you need.
I also went trough a private interview where I would just talk about myself and my interests and hobbies. When I got my diagnosis they said that I was fidgety and couldn't hold eye contact so I think they look after those things in the one-on-one interview
they also asked if they could record this interview, which I agreed to and I regret it to this day but that's beside the point. Honestly it was a pleasant experience for me but I think it depends on the psychiatrists you get. None of the questions they asked where invasive
No. 1553916
>>1553709I have been learning a language for a few years now and whenever someone puts me on the spot to say something I completely forget everything and can't think of a single thing to say. social situations turn me into a bumbling idiot, even when I'm being asked a basic question on a topic that I might be an expert in.
this happened recently in front of my mum, where I was asked a question on a topic I know well from someone and I said "I don't know" - my mum interjected and said "what?! yes you do! you talk about this all the time!" but I just couldn't verbalise my thoughts at that time so it's easier to say I don't know. I hate it.
No. 1553933
>>1553449Every autist but one that I know is a
terf. The last one is a guy who says he is enby/trans despite "not believing in gender". He's a loner gamer with trans gamer friends so he'll do his best to explain troonism using logic and science. Naturally he gets it all wrong and doesn't listen to real women so I dropped him for being a hypocritical sexist pig.
I think part of what makes autists more vulnerable to trans ideology is that we take things literally and don't understand social cues. So there's a portion that gets told "taking estrogen makes you female and all your problems will go away!" and they literally believe that will be true and they don't understand that handmaidens saying "omg ur so pretty gurl" when they objectively look like shit is just to be polite. And having been a loser all your life and seeing this group love-bomb you is going to make you want to never leave.
But then again almost every single detrans person I've seen have been autistic, or am now getting tested for it because they have clear signs of it. So it seems autists are also the ones who get out of it easier once they realized it was all lies and they didn't magically turn into a woman like they had been told. Of course then they're too socially inept to understand that all the other trans people just keep their mouth shut about all the dark sides and their autist selves start speaking out against trans ideology.
I really think being an autist makes you more likely to be a
terf, to be a
victim of trans ideology and to be the one who gets out of the ideology (and then becomes a
terf) all at once.
No. 1553965
been starting to suspect myself of autism (i have add, diagnosed) but i can't recall ever having problems with eye contact. not sure if i've ever actually had a special interest either.
>>1553933wish i was you. every autistic i know is a tif, or otherwise getting their. i feel like gender ideology offers a lot of "fun" rules and guidelines autistic people might enjoy.
No. 1553975
>>1553965*there
i'm so fucked
No. 1554073
>>1553933>taking things literallygood point. this is probably a big part of it. "do you feel uncomfortable with your body? you should chop your tits off and you'll feel much better" = giving he/they autistic women not only an explanation for their discomfort but also a "cure". and when it turns out it probably just makes them feel even less comfortable (cos losing sensation in your chest doesn't sound too comfy) the illusion is shattered.
the fact that pretty much all autistic orgs promote this is absolutely vile.
No. 1554191
File: 1681926277426.png (363.47 KB, 1174x1960, 1529811052069.png)
>>1553916I've pretty much accepted that I'm only going to ever be intermediate at speaking (can get my ideas across but not always correctly) and will never have a good accent. I'm tired of relearning the same grammar points over and over as I'm too spergy to practise output. Recently I've started studying ancient languages instead to feel less pressure as they skew more input focused.
I'm terrible at doing things on the spot. I have a STEM degree but I struggle to do basic maths or anything with more than 2 steps if I feel someone is watching me. I'd happily take the most basic job if I could. I'm afraid to sign up for unemployment as it's hard to explain this.
picrel
No. 1554998
>>1554191>have a STEM degree but I struggle to do basic maths if I feel someone is watching meYES. and when i try to explain it to people they think i'm simply afraid of being judged… that's not
quite it, because I will have the same issue in front of people I know are not judging me. I think it's a lot to do with multi-tasking or getting overloaded by the communication and social aspect. and being "observed" is the worst feeling ever.
it's also performance or anything that involves focus and brain-power. for example I love playing piano and have been practising some really challenging pieces with good results at home. but I can barely play chopsticks in front of anyone. i don't necessarily feel that nervous i just literally forget how to play instruments. and I don't know how to overcome that.
kek at the last comment in that pic btw.
No. 1555109
>>1554998Exactly. It's like the part of my brain required for doing these things just switches off and refuses to be turned back on. I know what I'm doing is wrong but my brain either won't access the parts it needs or won't record what I am being told. On top of this I have ADHD which means sometimes I miss really obvious things in front of me.
I've had some people treat me really rudely or like I'm an idiot in these situations. I have a high (tested) IQ as well.
No. 1555928
>>1473042Nonnie late as fuck but I am literally like you. Are you into writing? I wish we had a writing thread. Can I create it? But I'm so afraid nonnies ganna call me retarded for doing something wrong. I wish I could talk to you.
I feel like I'm cluster A. Never seen anyone discuss it but it feels more suitable for me. I wish I had the money for an actual diagnosis. Also, it's so annoying when I'm looking for a friend like me, like those weird autistic girls I can relate to, and every single time the "totally weirdo outcast autistic girls" turns out to have a boyfriend/a shit ton of friends/goes to parties every Friday.
No. 1556117
>>1555003I get what you mean but it feels like we are seen as the bad ones solely because we are the minority. Objectively, being able to make more connections is not bad. Reminds me of that stupid study that found autists have more strong moral values and are more honest and they somehow spun it as being a bad thing.
I'm not delusional enough to autists are superior in ever way but it's frustrating that if there's an issue it's always seen as us being at fault, yet all the geniuses that people strive to be like are clear autists.
No. 1557509
>>1556841No, better abilities at spotting patterns and making connections is one of the ways they test for autism. One of the things associated with Aspergers is high IQ, which goes hand in hand with making connections. NTs are just dumb and bitter about it.
>It's worse now because you all get coddled and told that your differences are special and wonderful when actually you're incredibly boring, annoying, and a lot of work to be around.Lol because listening to NTs go on about themselves and their boring lives is soooooo interesting. Having to mask constantly so NTs don't make up some story in their head that we hate them is sooooooo easy. Being bullied wherever we go is such coddling!
No. 1560142
>>1559772My attempt as making is literally saying nothing. I have very limited range in conversations and honestly i don't have a lot in common with normies at all, so even if i didn't have autism, there would likely still be difficulty for me to connect with them. I also can't really help myself from rambling about shit only i care about or accidently saying something rude and offensive just because i wanted to be honest about something. At this point, my only goal is to make irl friends with 1 or 2 other autistic people who share interests with me and understand me. I have no desire to try to be normal or have a normal social life, the friends in question are people i may only interactive with once a month and i'd be fine. I am also torn. Deep down inside, i don't give a fuck about the feelings of normies, if i make them upset or uncomfortable, especially since this situations only come about because they force me to interact with them and i can't say fuck off because it would be rude. At the same time, i'd like to have a job and masking is just something you will have no choice but to do in the work place, even normies have to put on some kind of mask at work. I guess my point is that i refuse to mask in situations where it isn't vital. Outside work, i don't owe anybody shit, i don't owe them a conversation, validation or normality since they aren't paying me.
No. 1560185
>>1559772I honestly don't really get what masking is. I guess the closest to masking I do is like
>>1560142 says to just stay quiet so I don't stand out, which feels very natural for me to do anyway because I'm not very social. What do you masking nonas do to mask, how does it work?
No. 1560251
File: 1682534086725.jpeg (142.71 KB, 1080x1152, kittybabushka.jpeg)
my desk got moved to a room with a bunch of other people (previously it was me and one other coworker) and it's making me hate having ADHD even more than i already did. i am so overstimulated. people walking in, phone ringing, coworkers asking me questions–all while i'm trying to crunch numbers. i need routine to function. while i had somewhat of a notice ("we're moving you to a bigger desk next week") i literally walked into work and all my shit was in a different spot and it's so overwhelming.
i just hate that tiny changes in routines, too many things going wrong, a tag itching me will make my brain shut down. i warned all my coworkers that i would not be very eloquent or succinct for a few days until i feel 'cozy' again, but right now i just feel stupid and overwhelmed.
i got back from vacation and that's when they moved me, while also changing a lot of my job priorities because another coworker is out, so i'm just completely out of my element physically and mentally and i'm really worried i'm going to have a melt down at work. i really like my job and the people i work with, and a handful of them also have ADHD, but i don't want to accidentally be mean to anyone just because i'm overwhelmed, thanks to anyone who reads this, i feel a lot better just typing out how i feel
No. 1561254
File: 1682630200732.png (9.87 KB, 547x467, window.png)
Can any of you recommend any books or videos about depression / mental health / self-help? I have had chronic depression for 10 years but sometimes it gets really bad and starts to move into disassociation, then I feel like I'm losing my mind. I think I'm on the edge of that right now and want to do anything that might help me feel better. I've been working on a routine, daily exercise, healthy eating, trying to engage in hobbies but it all feels pointless and there is this bubbling sensation inside that I'm about to break down. However, sometimes simply reading self-help books makes me feel better temporarily (cos I feel calmer that it's being "addressed" and get some motivation) but most of them are terrible so looking for some good ones that have inspired you. Not strictly ND related but we are more prone to depression and I didn't know where else to ask.
No. 1561272
File: 1682632588208.jpg (17.57 KB, 254x275, m-31.jpg)
I can't tell whenever I have a crush on a girl or if I just enjoy her company because she is the only one who isn't putt off by my obvious autism. I have always struggled with being social because most people think I'm weird. I also struggle with identifying romantic feelings(not to mention I rarely fall in love because I'm so disconnected to other humans). Last time I had a crush was over 6 years ago, and even then it took my years to realize it was a crush.
Not that it matters anyway. This girl is straight so romance was never an option and I have sworn myself to the hermit lifestyle because socialising is too stressful
No. 1562902
>>1560185When I was in hs I had no idea I was autistic but obviously I was very weird. I had an
abusive bf who would often get embarrassed by my autistic mannerisms and yell at me, so I developed a method called “normalizing”, which was just masking before I knew what masking was. I would basically just not do the things I’m naturally compelled to do and copy the girls around me who seemed normal. It worked really well throughout my 20s but I basically buried everything about myself to achieve this. Now I’m 30 and idgaf anymore kek
No. 1563826
File: 1682889685068.jpg (300.94 KB, 1920x1396, wp.jpg)
Has anyone in this thread ever been to a concert and how did they feel about it? I know that no one experience autism the same but I'm still curious to hear other people's opinions. I have never been to a concert before but I'm considering going to one alone. I'm scared that the experience will be unpleasant specially since I won't have any friends with me. I'm not good with large crowds but I can cope with them if I have time to prepare myself and psych myself up for it. but I have heard that crowds at concerts can get rowdy and people drink and I hate being around drunk people in general.
This concert is coming up around at the same time as another (non-concert) event that I also really wanna go to, but I can't afford both of them so I have to chose carefully. I know what to fully expect at the other event so any opinions about concerts would be neat
No. 1563927
>>1563826I've been to a lot of different concerts so I can say the genre of music played will affect the atmosphere a lot. Rap, metal, and more aggressive-type scenes will have rowdier crowds than indie-rock shows where people mostly stand in place. It also depends on the size of the venue, bigger venues let you spread out more so you don't have to mosh if it's not your thing.
I went to a shoegaze concert last night and the crowd was very mild mannered and polite. The best advice I can give is to do what feels best and drink a lot of water
No. 1564456
>>1563826I went to a few in my teen years due to peer pressure. Some of the smaller ones for indie pop bands or something mild are OK but still a bit of a sensory nightmare sometimes - you're very close to other people, the air is very warm and the music is very loud. The huge concerts and festivals are a no-go for me personally because they'rejust too large and overwhelming. The one I went to - I had a meltdown and lost my friends I was getting a lift home with (and my shoes, somehow kek) so that wasn't a good experience at all. But the ones where you are seated in a stadium away from the crowds are probably OK. Like going to the theatre, I guess.
Bring ear plugs, stay near the exit and I'm sure you'll be fine. You can always leave if it's too much!
No. 1566961
File: 1683134797414.jpg (21.33 KB, 400x243, IMG_20191209_093804.jpg)
Do any nonnies here struggle with having conversations and meeting friends? It never seems like autistic people around me have trouble doing this and I feel very lonely, like none of them have experienced how overwhelming maintaining a friendship is or how impossible it seems to have a conversation with someone that lasts more than a few minutes. All I ever hear is other autists talking about struggling with social faux paus but I can't even get that far with connecting to another person to begin with, in the rare times I manage to talk to someone for more than a few exchanges it becomes unbearably stressful to keep up with, and it's very rare people don't just ghost me or forget I exist in a group setting because I have such a hard time talking and making connections with others. I just feel really depressed about it, like not even other autists are on this level.
No. 1567219
>>1566917Nta but I admire your courage anon. I would never. I remember just mentioning to my manager that I might be on the spectrum, just to test the waters, and she said something like
>but you aren't, RIGHT?and then she said that as long as she can't tell someone has a disorder or an illness she doesn't care. So I think that if she knew my behavior is tied to my disorder and it can't be changed, she wouldn't be so happy with me. Right now she still hopes I will somehow change and be more outgoing, like my coworkers kek. I can't afford to change my job for now
No. 1567254
>>1566871I completely disagree, i just think the anons here want people to keep their options open.
>>1566917I've pondered doing this myself. I feel like i'd either get judgement or they would feel confused as to what to do with the information.
>>1566961Idk how so many autistic people are able to have children and live relatively normal lives. I haven't had irl friends since my early teens and at this point i am completely numb. I feel living this way actually stifles my ability to communicate in general and it's a terrible thing. However, i've never met a single person irl i can be honest with or feel confident being myself with. I've ever made a meaningful connection with anybody in my life.
No. 1567285
>>1566961I do struggle with those things but am mostly ok with it. The only time I "socialise" is when I see my parents or have a work meeting. And every now and then through activity-based things like exercising or hobby groups. I have 2 friends who live in different countries now and see once every couple of years, which is very stressful when it happens but otherwise they're OK with the odd text or email here and there. They're the only people I've managed to keep in my life long term and they're barely in my life at all. I've had countless failed friendships for the reasons you mentioned.
For me I think there is a lot of avoidance issues related to it too. As much as I love the idea of a close friendship - the reality of it whenever I come close is too much for me to deal with. It always feels so unnatural and uncomfortable. Plus, I just need so much time to decompress after even short conversations with people and sometimes I need longer periods to shut myself off from the world. I mostly dread the thought of spending time with people i genuinely really like because of the stresses of socialising. It's my own fault. Even if I make a connection I can't maintain it.
I think I just got over the feelings of loneliness after a while as a coping mechanism. But I enjoy my time alone a lot more now and just accept how I am.
No. 1567498
>>1567254>I completely disagree, i just think the anons here want people to keep their options open.I agree with this. People online are already self-diagnosing way too much with things they clearly do not have (not just autism). Some conditions don't even exist yet they spread through social contagion (people thinking they're physically nonbinary and no one can tell their real sex, or a vampire who needs blood to not die, that they are mentally an animal and so on) It can be harmful for an individual to be convinced they have a disorder or condition they don't actually have. Especially in cases such as the most recent in this thread where the person in question has a known trauma cause is it unwise to assume it's something other than the trauma.
Autism is not a badge of honour, it's not a good thing to have, it's not an explanation for your odd behaviours, it's not an identity. There are a hundred other things that could "look" like autism that would get untreated or mistreated if you were to wrongly assume the cause was autism.
No. 1567502
>>1566961I have 2 local friends and I still struggle to keep up with them. I find it easier to keep up with online friends because I can come and go as a I please, I can reply an hour later and that's accepted. The ideal is an online friend group that meet up 1-2 times a month so we get to hang out but I'm not expected to see them too often.
I feel like I was made to be something like a travelling hunter in medieval times, leaving the village to go hunt alone or with a partner for a week and then come back to socialize for a bit selling the meat I got from the hunt before leaving again. I wasn't made to live in a town with strict social rules, I was made to roam freely on my own.
No. 1567582
>>1567505>It gets easier to keep up with friends as you ageayrt sorry to be blackpilled but I'm in my mid 30s now and find it only gets more difficult. I have less and less energy. the only thing I will say is, like you've eluded to, being friends with more mature people will mean they are likely to have less time themselves and more understanding if you don't text/email/whatever back right away.
but in terms of tolerance and desire to keep up with friends, mine has plummeted as I age. the upside of that is I care much much less kek. I've heard this from a few women now… post-30s you tend to give less of a shit about things in general.
No. 1568055
>>1566871but why do anons feel the need to announce in this thread in particular? I like this thread because I get to share my experiences with being an autistic woman and I get to read other women's experiences. I hate when it gets clogged up with "I think I have autism". I'm also genuinely curious what's the goal of the anons who makes post like that? If they need to vent about their undiagnosed disorder then go to the vent or confession thread. If they are looking for advice with how to deal with a symptom then go to the advice thread in /g. Maybe someone should make a "I think I have autism" thread so people can discuss symptoms? but I don't see the point in that. An autism diagnosis requires someone to hear your life story, observe how you talk and your mannerism. It's not something a few anonymous people on an imageboard can do.
I got my diagnosis late so I do sympathises with these people but there is a time and place for everything and I don't want this thread to turn into a suspected autism thread instead of an autism thread.
I think the least you can do if you suspect you have autism and want to use this thread then just vent about the behavior that could be an autism symptom, don't announce that you are not diagnosed it's uneeded.
Also as
>>1566995 said tiktok, reddit, tumblr and twitter has big communities for self diagnosed autists so there do exist placea where people can discuss their suspected autism
No. 1570282
>>1570127Which have you tried, and at what levels?
Also, are you doing other things to try either to improve executive function/ability to "turn on" focus, or to create workarounds for yourself (reminders, rewards, routines, reflection, etc.)?
Last Qs - is anxiety an issue generally and are you addressing that at all? If you have some existing (even latent) anxiety, the keying-up from the stim may be augmenting what already exists - so if that is managed or reduced, then perhaps the stim effect won't be enough to raise it to untolerable levels.
Also - and it's kind of a hack that assumes the meds do help you in some ways and to the degree that you'd want to avail yourself of the benefits but for the jitters/anxiety; if they don't have much positive effect for you then ignore - sometimes doing some kind of exercise (whatever for you gets you feeling it) not long after taking a med /before or as it starts to act. It elevates mood and gets your mind and body engaged not purely based on medication but also organically. Exercise is also often an effective way to blow up tension/anxious feelings in a day.
On stim meds I can get hyper focused and sit in one body- cramping position for 16 hours (very occasional bio breaks) and I don't like to switch gears - I'm both intense and intensely lazy at times - but I always feel far better when I balance out the "get shit done" stuff with at least some movement. When I remember and/or am not intent on self-sabotage, anyway. The breaks also, contrary to what I expect in the moment, keep me on task because instead of going down rabbitholes, etc., the break gives me a chance to remember my purpose/goal. No. 1570359
>>1570282Ritalin, vyvanse and Atomoxetine. But you're right that I've always been anxious and nobody ever seems to really want to address that part.
Sorry for a bit of a vent but I'm at that point where, because I have both ADD and autism, I get send back and forth because one specialist will say it's the autism, the other will say it's the ADD.
But thanks for the tips, I think I'll bring it up with my psychologist next time I see them.
No. 1570426
>>1570359I wish you luck! Don't be afraid to advocate for yourself. It is your right, and it can be done respectfully and productively. I once had a minor battle/debate with my prescribing psych over something I wanted to try, discussion of current-state medical literature included. It was a little uncomfortable (he's the expert, etc.), and I didn't even press that hard…but I won (lol), and what I proposed works pretty well for me (better than the prior approach, anyway). It can be useful sometimes to challenge when you're handed a standard solution that doesn't work, or at least to press a little when you're given the brush off. A lot of prescribers take the usual path and don't like to take on insurers, but it's your life, not theirs. (I'm not advocating demanding x or being unhelpfully combative, but you deserve to be able to ask questions and probe the answers.)
You might also want to ask/push for your two providers (you mentioned you see someone for ADD and another for autism) to actually talk together and coordinate an approach. I don't know why that's not more commonly done (I get it's not the culture and idk if there's a consultation code that would get them paid by insurance [should be]…but imo, as professionals they should be proactive, and I don't think they're practicing as they should if they don't even think about looking a little deeper and more broadly, but I digress).
No. 1571478
File: 1683578654801.png (58.86 KB, 726x922, groomer behavior.png)
fucked up the screenshot rip but anyways whenever I think r/adhd can't get any worse, it does
No. 1572856
File: 1683694486002.jpeg (211.38 KB, 1052x1358, D4BAD843-E78F-4E7D-996A-42CB06…)
>>1569779Yes my handwriting has been described as boyish. My partner told me a page handwritten by looks like a collaborative effort. Here’s a standardized test essay I wrote in high school that I later found being used as a rubric/example of a perfect scoring essay and why exactly it scored perfectly. I was honestly surprised it scored so well because I was the first one finished in class and thought I bombed it. Looked up how to actually spell paparazzi when I got home and was kicking myself over it (we were given a couple random previously unknown prompts to choose from and had 40 minutes to write an essay in the formulaic way we’d been taught to write essays).
No. 1572901
File: 1683699779142.gif (88.88 KB, 240x240, cec7098b605ce3f01963e995f896fb…)
>>1572856Congrats, nonna! It's awesome you did such a good job on the test that you are used as a sample of top-tier work. I am no writing expert but I don't feel like your writing is inherently masculine or feminine. It's very neutral IMO, and this is coming from someone that grades semester classes. I don't know how to describe it well, but if your writing was more masculine, I'd say it would have more jagged strokes and bold lines, and be a little bigger. In the exams I've graded, male students can be really illegible because they go too fast and too powerful; female speed writers go smaller but their writing is more uniform. If your writing was more feminine, I think you'd make your rouder letters even more round (your a's and b's are pretty feminine though), and you'd give longer or more swoopy tails to y's, g's, and q's. Your w's are really cute, too. Honestly if I graded your work I'd be so happy because it's like and legible, even if it is a tad small and some letters can be mistaken for others (particularly, your e's can get a little too fast and some n's skew a little into r territory. R's in general suffer from speed and oversimplification, but don't sweat it, nonabella).
I hope this helps? I wrote like a novel, and I'm not even remotely qualified to analyze handwriting. Sorry, tl;dr I like your handwriting and that it's not exactly too masculine or too feminine.
No. 1572968
>>1571354>Should I seek a diagnosis?>Its not that I really suffer, I would just like to understand myself more.Hard no on that. A diagnosis isn't a little note for "finding your true inner self" like social media would have you think. It's strictly medical to allow you access to the medical care/accommodations needed for you to function in daily life. There is no reason to seek a diagnosis if you don't need it. It's just a disability marker.
I promise you also won't understand yourself better at all. The reason people say they finally understand themselves after getting diagnosed is typically because they had no idea why they were acting the way they did their whole lives, and then one day a therapist is like "actually, I think it may be because you're autistic" and people are like "holy shit I didn't even know that was a thing". You're already aware of whatever symptom you think you have, and you don't suffer from it, so you won't gain anything new this way.
Many countries can deny you residency based on having an autism diagnosis, so if you ever have to/want to move you may not be able to because they'll kick you out. If you ever have legal trouble they could potentially discredit you due to your mental disability. Say an
abusive ex spouse wants to take your children as revenge on you, he could easily claim you're an unfit mother due to your mental adhd/autism struggles. Even if you don't want kids yourself, what if they're your niece or nephew and you're their last hope to escape abuse? There are many risks like this that aren't brought up very often but they are very real. Getting a diagnosis you don't even need could fuck you over big time.
And then of course another reason is that many people do suffer from their adhd/autism/whatnot, but competent professionals who can help and diagnose them are limited. So you'll be taking up time and resources that people who are suffering then don't get because you took it despite knowing you aren't even suffering.
I would again stress that every autist and adhd person is different, so you won't learn anything about yourself from getting a diagnosis even if you do have adhd/autism. To learn more about yourself general therapy can help, but most of all just living in the real world helps. I've seen countless fakers/wannabes (not saying you are nona! just as an example) who fall into the label trap, they start exaggerating their (real or fake) symptoms and develop new ones to fit into the label of adhd/autism/other disorder. It becomes their identity. That is stupid and only limits you from being your "true" self. If you run into a problem, let's say time management is an issue, then look into how to better handle this one issue at hand. Rather than going "I struggle because of adhd, guess it can't be helped" you can instead look for solutions on how to solve it. Perhaps someone with adhd has the perfect strategy to help, perhaps a neurotypical has it, or maybe your unique own method works best.
You understand yourself through experiences in the real world, you don't get it from a medical note with a list of symptoms.
No. 1572974
File: 1683710144579.jpeg (7.43 KB, 178x284, lonelycastle.jpeg)
>>1572971Same nona. I was the same age as you when I stopped attending regular education. Still trying to make up for all the damage that's been done, it feels impossible to make up for all that lost time.
The YN novel Lonely Castle in the Mirror deals with this subject. I recommend it for that reason alone.
No. 1572975
>>1572968yeah i honestly think i'm on the spectrum but i don't wanna get an official diagnosis bc i'm scared it'll be thrown in my face, i'm done with being offered friendship out of pity and that's gonna get worse with a proper diagnosis, the oppression olympics only works on the internet
ive seen way too many examples of people with even the smallest disability moved down the list for bonuses, promotions, etc at work too. one of my colleagues has limited mobility and i overheard my boss go "yeah we'll just give [employee] the grunt work, let the senior offices go to people who can walk up to them" before he howled like that was the funniest shit on earth
No. 1573028
>>1572974Thank you for the recommendation. I’m 19 and feel very alone and ashamed because I did not attend for years at a time and don’t know anyone else who missed so much school. I was practically a NEET growing up. I went to a special school for some time when I was 14 and that was the last time I ever went. I don’t have a diagnosis so sorry for posting here but growing up psychiatrists kept on telling me I’m probably autistic and I was supposed to go for an assessment at age 14 but I didn’t go because I was embarrassed. I have an exam this month but I struggle to study.
>>1572979I got very bad depression and anxiety due to school refusal and how I was treated for it so I did nothing for years. I was personally blamed for it and ridiculed by everyone even though I could not physically leave my room. Maybe this is dramatic but I think it traumatised me a little. I try not to blame myself today because I know I was just a child and it wasn’t my fault.
>>1572999It’s so horrible how schools punish you for something you can’t control. I was constantly sent to an isolated room with no windows. They did everything they could to strip away any control I could feel over myself. My parents were going to be fined a lot of money for my school refusal so I stabbed myself so that there would be a medical excuse/reason not to go to school.
No. 1573034
>>1572971I left school at 14 because I couldn't deal with the bullying anymore lol it got so bad that both classmates and teachers alike where involved and the only mechanism of defence I had was freeze so I got pulled off.
I was really sad because I liked school and I was a top tier student when I was younger, but my grades started going downhill because I couldn't understand absolutely nothing they were teaching, and when teachers came to explain to me individually they would often tell me I was distracted and that I wasn't paying attention even if I was giving everything I had.
The only thing I was good at was English.
No. 1573268
>>1573028>I stabbed myself so that there would be a medical excuse/reason not to go to school.I've also self-harmed just to get have a "
valid reason" out of school. Insane that they push us this far, and insane that we do it.
No. 1573330
Blog incoming but I really need to vent right now.
Everywhere I go, anything I do (school, university, internships, jobs, courses, etc.) I’m being told that there’s clearly something wrong with me that I need to get fixed. One supervisor in university told me that I was an excellent student but really needed to see a psychologist to “get this sorted out [gestures vaguely at my head]” if I ever wanted to get a job in the field. MH professionals just threw SSRI’s at me for ten years (and got annoyed with me when that didn’t magically turn me normal) until I was diagnosed with Asperger’s shortly after turning twenty. It made a lot of sense, and I was able to sit in on some mildly helpful support groups for a few months. The diagnosis didn’t fix anything but at least it felt like things might get better and hopefully I would be able to find my place in the world.
But then Asperger’s stopped being a thing. Instead, everything was one big autism spectrum, and I’m on the “privileged” end of the spectrum. Because I can live independently and have managed to scrape together a STEM degree I’m not considered disabled enough to qualify for anything, and if I seek support I’m shamed for trying to take resources away from people who need them more. But nobody outside of the mental health field seems to have gotten that memo. I’m still essentially being told that I’m too autistic to be employable and that I need to seek help with [gestures wildly] before I can be accepted as a functional member of society. Even the accommodations I’d need at work are in this weird limbo where they’re too minor to really count towards the HR disability/diversity quota but too annoying for any employer to want to bother with them, so they don’t.
Literally just a quiet place to work. That’s it. That’s all I need. Put me in an unused broom closet or whatever and I’m happy. I’ll have my lunch breaks in there too. Nobody has to deal with my weirdness and I’ll be extra productive. Everybody wins! Why is this so hard
No. 1573938
>>1573330>But then Asperger’s stopped being a thing. Instead, everything was one big autism spectrum, and I’m on the “privileged” end of the spectrum.Remember that aspergers IS still a thing, it's just not in the DSM5 anymore but other diagnostic systems still use them and give the diagnosis out. It's absolutely retarded that they expect a group of disabled people (who don't like change as part of their condition) to change what words they use to describe their own disability. I will never stop calling it aspergers, that's literally what is on my diagnostic papers.
Depending on where you live if you can get people to admit that they don't want you because of how you act because of your disability even though you qualify for the job you may be able to sue them or something, because that's generally illegal in most places.
No. 1575687
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>>1439814youʼve discovered that the world built around you has walls. join the others who have climbed theirs, come enjoy the view
No. 1578128
>>1573938I still call it Asperger’s when I’m talking to anyone who’s unlikely to be knowledgeable on the issue, because most older people I meet still think autism = severe intellectual disability. Many people seem to get their frame of reference from the media and I’d rather have a prospective employer think of me as Sheldon Cooper than Rain Man.
Unfortunately it seems to be very difficult to get anyone, including HR, to care about this kind of discrimination. Employers can reject anyone for “not fitting in” without having to explain what they mean by that. Workplace cohesion is important, after all. My last employer chose not to renew my contract for that reason, and because I “seemed unhappy”. The coworkers who bullied me like a bunch of middle schoolers got to stay, of course. They did fit in and did not seem unhappy.
Even when colleagues and fellow students have been openly hostile to autism in general (e.g. using it as an insult, mocking stereotypical autistic behaviour) they got away with it because either I hadn’t disclosed my diagnosis to every single person I worked with (was I supposed to wear a tag?) or in one case because “isn’t everyone a little bit autistic nowadays?”. Apparently it’s fine to mock others for traits you have yourself, even if you don’t actually have those traits yourself. Once again I’m disabled enough to be discriminated against but not disabled enough to deserve protection from discrimination. I just wish people would pick a side.
No. 1578953
>>1578512>Does anyone else constantly have people laughing at them when they say something that wasn't meant to be funny?Happens frequently and I just embrace people thinking I'm funny, if anything it makes people like me more kek
But I do try to take note of all the things I say that get the "wrong" reaction and contemplate why without judging myself too harshly for not getting it right. For example when I was new at my job I accidentally gave my boss an order once, although I didn't intend to and in my mind I was just being supportive like I would be with a friend.
>I feel like if I don't phrase things super literally people will always take things the wrong way.Do you have examples of this? I find that one of my autist friends was always over explaining to the point of confusion rather than it making it clearer. (Of course normies like to put in "hidden meaning" you didn't intend though, that's really annoying when you're like me and literally only meant exactly what you said.) The way my friend did it made things worse and less clear because every sentence he used was an information-dump. For example let's say he wanted to ask "Could you turn on the kettle?" he would say it more like "Could you take the black colored kettle that is on the back end of the counter top in the kitchen and fill it up halfway with water from the kitchen tap and then put it back on the boiling plate that it was standing on and press the little button at the bottom on it to turn it on so the water boils?". In the end it made me feel both overwhelmed with information and like he was over-explaining to me because he though I was too stupid to know how to do it or unable to figure it out on my own and I think other people had the same reaction. Of course people being confused at what he said only made him MORE adamant that he had to over-explain things because people kept taking what he said wrong. Not saying this is what you're doing, but it could be worth thinking about.
>Is this like a tactic normal people use to punish me for being "too autistic" or not giving the "right" response?Is it possible if your family does this that they're autists too and don't know how to respond? Autism is nearly always hereditary. Maybe they're not silent because you said the "wrong" thing and you're repeating yourself and feeling anxious for no reason. I know a few people, both normies and autists, who are silent when they think. It appears as if they won't respond but eventually they do. But either way, it sounds a bit to me like maybe you're a bit overly dependant on others validation and attention. It shouldn't make you that level of anxious if someone goes silent for a bit. She asked a question, you replied. Doesn't seem like you had any reason to feel embarrassed. Why does the blank face bother you? You already gave your answer, if they want something clarified it's on them to ask for it. You aren't a baby, you don't need constant attention from your mom. Be more confident nona!
No. 1579691
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I seriously hate when one of my cousins tells everyone that anecdote of the 4 of us (two male cousins and my brother) on a road trip with my parents.
He’s always laughing and mocking me because during that trip (a 6 hours trip, all of us cramped in one car) I was vocally stimming because breathing was already annoying to them.
I would do that unconsciously, I still do it unconsciously, just like when I’m rocking myself or constantly moving, like I literally can’t help it, people are always telling me that it’s annoying but I can’t control it and at this point I don’t even want to know how to do so.
So when I was a kid, like 7 or 8 years old, I was getting mocked by my cousins and my brother because I would carry toys around, so I, of course, wasn’t allowed to have them on the seat with me.
I was then doing like different animals like meowing and such, it’s annoying, I know, but fuck, I just couldn’t stop doing that.
The started telling to “shut the fuck up” and that I was being “damn annoying” so I ended up crying because I didn’t know what to do, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t distract myself with anything, I had nothing to talk about because I was also told that I was fucking stupid all of the time.
Which I’m still constantly told that I’m stupid but whatever, I try to not think about it too much.
Though it still makes me want to kill myself, because since then I would always think of going outside in a car as something annoying or bad and all I would want to do was opening the door of the car and just let myself go. I seriously hated going to visit my dad’s side of the family because it was the same issue all of the time.
But it’s okay, everyone, it’s just a funny thing, they really got me there I guess, they made me shut up by telling me to shut the fuck up so that’s very funny and hilarious, my cousin makes sure to tell everyone he sees around me so he can laugh with everyone, it’s just so much fun.
No. 1579778
>>1570445It's just the nature of females. I gave up on IRL relationships with girls in elementary. At best, you will always have shallow friendships with them that deal in the cutesy (animal crossing, outfits), mundane (venting about their boyfriends/husbands), and maybe comradery about shit moid behavior and this over-arcing girl/womanhood we all share at some basic level (along the lines of Anrdea Dworkin). It's not bad, but it's hollow and enough of it with no substitute will leave you empty. If you want to discuss politics, religion, science, etc. you have to find a specialized group or class in which 1 in 35 might be a woman, and no guarantee you have shit in common or that she even desires a friendship. Everything will be online. There's a reason 4chan gravitates towards woman hating. Most don't have any distinct personality other that plumping their lips with gloss and waving their crusty long nails while pinching "YASSS QWEEN."
inb4 I'm "not like other girls" sperging. there are genuinely outlier women in the world who can't relate to others. Get over yourself.
No. 1579908
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>>1579903If you look at studies it's the opposite though, women fear death and violence and men fear being laughed at and being seen as weak.
In general humans are social pack animals, being lonely does actual physical damage to your body and brain.
No. 1579951
>>1579932I disagree, men are a lot more conformist and they're unwilling to step out of line to express themselves in any way even in societies where they're relatively safe in doing so. Most men wouldn't even dream of doing something as scandalous as standing out by wearing red jeans. They even find it embarrassing to have the wrong brand of car.
>>1579919>There's no special insult for men who dare to display individuality.Yes there is, they're galled "gay, faggot, poof" etc and then get violently beaten up.
No. 1580023
>>1579778This is sadly true but when you do find a another woman with whom you can talk about the topics that interest you, it's the best sort of relationship. Nothing else compares.
>>1580015> Just going to another city may surprise you and let you meet new people that you can connect withYou don't sound autistic at all. What's next, "live, love, laugh" as an advice?
I'm sure most autistic women have experienced how alienating it is to be a social outcast among peers and girls can be particularly cruel if you don't learn how to fit in. So it doesn't come off as a surprise that there is going to be a decent amount of autistic women that are disappointed and disillusioned with friendships.
No. 1580024
>>1580015A lot of people commodify human relations, including friendships, thinking those have to fit a certain criteria to be
valid (and often, those criteria are vapid, usually not the essential things like respect, good intentions, etc and more vain things like common interests and how can people benefit from them in a material way), autistic people also do it too.
No. 1580027
>>1580023Let me get you my official diagnosis so you can corroborate that I’m an autist then? Girl, just because you have had bad experiences doesn’t mean that everyone is shit. I was bullied to hell and back for being an autistic idiot and not understanding what I was doing “wrong” I don’t get along with /everyone/ people /knows/ that there’s something “wrong” with me.
I still get mocked by some people like some family members or friends of those family members.
But just because I’ve had bad experiences doesn’t mean I have to become the next judge that says “from now on all females will be vapid and boring bimbos that only talk about hair, clothes, eat hot chip and lie”.
But have fun never making friends unless they’re 4chan /r9k/ losers or redditfags.
It’s sad to see people using being autistic as an excuse to be an asshole.
No. 1580045
>>1580027It's hard to believe that someone who is autistic would think it's advisable for another autist to simply waltz into another city and hopefully meet new people and connect with them.
> Let me get you my official diagnosis so you can corroborate that I’m an autist then?The diagnosis doesn't mean a thing anymore and I say that as someone with an official diagnosis as well. Everyone with a bit of social awkwardness and nerdy interests now likes to label themselves as autistic and can get a diagnosis for it which wouldn't matter if it didn't establish unrealistic expectations for actual autists who are naturally going to be puzzled as to why they have far more trouble than these "autists" who are able to make plenty of friends with ease, do networking, get married, have children, and don't even have any special interests to start with.
> “from now on all females will be vapid and boring bimbos that only talk about hair, clothes, eat hot chip and lie”I wouldn't agree with that but it is difficult to find another woman to talk about specific interests that don't involve beauty, fashion, gossip, and other interests that are typical for women. It doesn't mean that women who are into make up and such are vapid (there's a strong cultural & social component to it which rewards women for being like that) but it's hard to make a connection if you have completely different interests and personalities. Normie women are more likely to "other" you first not the other way around and they're the first ones to bug you for being a certain way instead of more like them. If you don't conform to these rules, you're out of the clique.
No. 1580064
>>1580060It's just a typical defence mechanism.
First she gets othered and not accepted in the clique, so then she goes "oh they suck I didn't even want it in the first place" like the proverbial fox.
No. 1580079
>>1580045It took me years of going out of my comfort zone to be able to talk to random people comfortably. Hell, I still get nervous when I do things that are outside of my routine, as in to the point of feeling strong palpitations and wanting to throw up.
I just think that being autistic doesn’t mean you have to live like some one dimensional person forever, while also considering others one dimensional too.
It’s hard to get out of your comfort zone and intrusive thoughts telling you that you’re fucking up and that everyone hates you or thinks that you’re weird but I don’t think it’s impossible. Some people even find it interesting when you talk about how much you love trains, specific fashion eras, types of coffee, philosophy or arts.
I guess live, laugh, love kek.
No. 1580274
>>1579778> If you want to discuss politics, religion, science, etc. you have to find a specialized group or class.I understand your frustration but I'm so over people complaining that they're unable to find people to talk about politics, religion, or science with. Those people are always so insufferable and you can't even disagree with them so what's the point in these discussions.
I'm not calling you insufferable I don't know you well enough to say something like that but personally I want more "normie" friends and I recommend you gravitate towards people that are actually fun to be around because having "friendships" built on debating the above topics is not good for you.
No. 1580280
>>1580131>I hate how people in this site associate autism with troonism.I associate it with both troonism and terfism. I believe autists are more vulnerable to getting caught up in the trans ideology than average people for many reasons. But then I also see clear patterns in that terfs, gender criticals and people who base their stance on science and logic are more often than not on the spectrum too. I think to some degree we autists lack the social awareness to get that we were supposed to shut up and nod along to the lies like everyone else.
I think there statistically is an over-representation of autists who identify as trans, but there are so few autists to begin with that even within the trans community they're still a small minority. Realistically I think they're less than 10%, but they're probably more likely to be internet dwellers who make unhinged posts so they look more common than they are because those unhinged posts are what we end up seeing.
Truly I think most disordered groups are more likely to end up in the trans community. They've sold it as the one and only cure for literally every problem a person can have, be it mental, physical or social. Above all else they highly encourage narcissism and a
victim complex. It's a scary cult of lies, but it has made me better understand how and why religions got so big and that's something I've wondered my whole life.
No. 1580807
>>1580274This. It's fucking exhausting to deal with someone who
always wants to debate or talk about heavy topics. Sometimes I just wanna talk about makeup or goofy shit
No. 1581812
i just need to rant a bit about this because it's really bumming me out. i hate being adhd, it makes my life so much harder and worse in every single area. i have lost jobs because of it. even when i have been able to keep jobs, i do a worse job than other people, and i can tell that my bosses and coworkers think im stupid. the worst thing is when people expect me to know things without being told them or ever being trained. i know everyone has to struggle with this to some degree but for me its noticeably worse and combined with my fake cheerful work personality people end up treating me like i'm braindead. in school i could get accommodations for things like notetaking, but i don't struggle with taking notes when i'm on medication, and even before then it was something i knew would help me learn so i made myself do it anyway. what i cant get accommodations for is what i really struggle with. things that everyone assumes you will know, all the dates you have to remember, all the billion unwritten rules for things. i'm not autistic, i can read facial expressions and i know social cues, but i still struggle because there i just forget things and my emotions are overwhelming so i can't act normally, i CANT act normally even if im happy, i cant remember everything i'm supposed to remember, i cant keep up with the things im supposed to keep up with. i know i'm not stupid but it doesnt matter because in practice, i am stupid. i act like a stupid person acts so what's the difference. even when talking to people who are also neurodivergent, it's hard to express how much harder adhd makes my daily life. someone who i consider a friend talked about how annoying people with adhd are. yeah i fucking know. i know i'm annoying and i cant behave normally, i know i'm flaky and hypersensitive and either talk nonstop or am dead quiet. i wish i wasnt this way so bad. i dont want to be annoying and stupid. i dont want to overreact. i want to be able to remember things and pick up on things like other people do. at the very least i'd like it if people recognized okay, this is a developmental delay, not an excuse i made up to be annoying. i don't know. i feel so hopeless.
No. 1581868
>>1581865Just study a career like literature, that’s where I met my best friend who is a sperg about stuff like politics and such.
I honestly don’t get the appeal of talking about such things in general, specially because they always end up with people getting butthurt and relationships getting cut off.
I prefer just reading about them and understanding where things come from, just acknowledging that my points of view are uniquely based on my personal experiences and that everyone also has their own opinions on many things like who should be in a position of power, who should be in charge of some things and whatever else there is.
I’m genuinely curious though, what exactly would you like to discuss that you wouldn’t be able to discuss on a Reddit blog or here?
No. 1581870
>>1581865> I just want to meet ONE person who understands my niche views who won't totally eradicate my humanity and ditch me if they disagree on something controversialHonestly? Normies are like that. The only people I feel comfortable talking about controversial topics are considered "normies".
This is irrespective of gender. If you find a chill woman you can talk with her about almost anything, same goes for guys.
Again good luck with your journey
No. 1588462
I've been working in one place for almost 2 years, it's my very first job. It's very noisy and I had to literally traumatize myself in order to stay there, I was vomiting and suffering from chronic diarrhea from stress for the first 2 months of working there. At first I also didn't talk to literally anyone and they almost fired me for the lack of communication. Then I was constantly asking questions about the same thing, which also irritated them. Then when I learned certain things, I was faster and more productive than my neurotypical coworkers, but I was still a total spaz, not "representative enough for the company". They couldn't sent guests to me because I would sperg out, unable to talk to a total stranger. I still don't socialize much, although way more than before, but overall I feel like they still don't take me seriously, no matter how hard I work. Other coworkers have small talks with our manager etc., I can't do that. My behavior is the main problem. Sometimes I feel like I can't do it anymore, but I'm so scared of any kind of change and new people and now when I kinda got used to people here I don't want to traumatize myself again by changing job and meeting new people. Every day is the same now. The first 5 hours are kinda ok. But during the last 2-3 hours of my shift I'm getting gradually more angry, irritable and agitated and I can't control it, I can't control my autism. I'm overloaded from multitasking, noise from the music, machines and people's voices all around me and it literally makes me insane. I feel like my face is burning and my eyes are blurry. Sometimes my coworkers point out I'm being mean and ask what's wrong with me etc. One of them is also offended by the fact I don't say goodbye when we finish and I just walk out as fast as I can. But I just can't help it, I just want to leave as fast as I can, I don't think straight, I don't think about whether to say goodbye or not, I just want to be alone in my room. It's friday and fridays are literally the worst. Every friday I feel like I'm changing into someone else, just pure anger and stress. I wish I could find some way of out this, but I feel like I can't, I can't change who I am, and I'm too scared to change my job
No. 1588700
>>1588462This is almost exactly how I felt at my first job, I was undiagnosed and it was pretty much the only line of work accessible to me. The daily anxiety from struggling to socialize, getting reprimanded for every honest mistake, and constantly watching the clock became so fucking painful and perpetual that started getting blackout drunk as often as I could. Of course it only made things worse in the long run so I don[t recommend that.
Get another job. It will be another challenge in a lot of ways but it also be an unbelievable relief. You do not need to subject yourself to feeling like this for the rest of your life.
No. 1589407
>>1589395I personally would talk about it with my manager if telling her to stop on different tones doesn't work. If the manager does nothing about it, i don't know in what country you are in, but in mine i can threaten to send either work inspection or (kinda the equivalent of) an union and tell them that the manager is doing nothing about work harrassment and it's worsening your mental health (and mention to them that you got adhd/autism if your employer knows that).
My mom (who funnily enough was the one that passed to me her adhd), was in a similar situation and only when she threatened to notify the union she was part of did they do something, with apologies added on top.
Ik sometimes you don't want to pass for a snitch but if you can't deal with it by diplomacy and discussion, you gotta try threats.
No. 1589418
File: 1685215615297.jpg (246.82 KB, 2400x1080, Screenshot_2023-05-27-20-49-25…)
>open youtube
>gets random monster high g3 video recommended
>i watched some of the g1 cartoons as a kid maybe i should see what all the g3 fuzz is about
>play video
>character say she is autistic
it's surreal how normalised it has become to discuss autism in media. I don't think it's a bad thing but I don't think I'm ever gonna get used to hearing people say it in cartoons since autism was so taboo when I was growing up and no one thought girls could have it. Based on this short clip I saw the character isn't portrayed in a negative way either though I do think they mixed up autism with social anxiety but those disorders do share symptoms when it comes to shyness and being socially awkward, I guess. she spends a long time sperging about books and when they need a certain book she just shurgs and say "they probably don't need my help". Personally I lose all my shyness when I get the opportunity to sperg about my fave things She is very sensitive to noise though which I find relatable.
But overall I don't know how I feel about autism being discuss so much in children's media. On one hand it can help kids with autism but I also fear that highlighting autistic traits can make them easier targets for bullying but they where probably going to be bullied anyway. I think I'm overthinking this
Unrelated but I can't deal with Frankie's and Clawdeen's new personalities. They remove Clawdeen's appeal by making her a geek and why did they make Frankie the ditzy, hyper one when that would had suited Draculaura better
No. 1591829
>>1589418I don't think I like it being mentioned by name, I prefer it to be like before when characters were just "coded" autistic. Autists will still see themselves in the character, normies or people with other disorders who share a few traits will see themselves in them too. Less risk of misinformation being spread or people larping it as a trend.
Maybe it's the autism in me, but I don't ever feel the need to be "represented" in things I see. At no point in my life have I consumed anything and actually thought "I wish they had my race/nationality/sex/appearance/autism" in this. It never bothered me that the fellowship of the ring was all male, it didn't bother me that everyone in Mulan was Asian, it didn't bother me that none of the Disney princesses are autistic and so on.
No. 1591911
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I think I may have autism, obviously higher on the spectrum since I live on my own, have an OK job and degree. I never really thought about it when I was younger, I just thought that I was weird and that I needed to change. I used to cry that no one wanted to be my friend in school, or felt as passionate about things as I did. From my whole K12 experience I was always outcasted or bullied or ignored, when I did have opportunities to be around "normal" girls I had troubles relating or just tried to hard and outed myself as weird. I always struggled with topics or classes I saw as "pointless", no matter how much my teachers or parents yelled at me. I get very hyperfocused on my hobbies and interests and cycle through them (one month I'll be very into learning more advanced coding, the next I'll be very into reading manga after manga). I always feel ashamed when I'm overwhelmed/over stimulated and want to shut down/hide but know that I can't. It hurts to think about how girls are so overlooked with ASD, even if it turns out I DON'T have it. Boys get the diagnosis so easily and then end up being even MORE coddled than boys already are, but girls just get told to change themselves and stop doing things that come natural to them. I also grew up in the rural Bible belt so that didn't help, a girl having autism in the area I grew up in was basically impossible unless it was VERY obvious.
From the perspective of other anons I want to know; is it worth getting a diagnosis at 25? I'm very sure my parents would be in denial, it wasn't until I finally moved away that I got diagnosed for a brain adenoma and PCOS because my parents just ignored or gaslighted me about how I was feeling. Other parts of my life wouldn't care either since I don't "act" autistic enough. So would the diagnosis really just be for peace of mind? I'm also scared of being turned away by specialist or laughed at because autism is "in" now and I'm sure they get weekly patients seeking diagnosis because they saw a tiktok or twitter meme. Sorry for typing so much.
No. 1592010
>>1591829>I don't ever feel the need to be "represented" in things I seeI feel the same way. I never felt the need to see autism discussed in media. In general I have always seen characters as well…. characters, instead of something I can project on to. I genuinely got sureprised when I first joined online fandom spaces and saw people discuss how much they love a character because the character is relatable. There might have been some traits and living conditions I can see myself in when it comes to fictional characters but overall I never felt the desire to see my exact story and life being told. Even when it comes to characters that are similar to me I still just see them as a tool to tell a story instead of going "she is literally me fr".
However I can see the positive in having openly autistic characters in media for children(I know Monster High has a huge adult fanbase and the reboot is cashing in on that but there is still going to be small children who watches this) because it can be used to explain what autism is. If a girl gets a diagnose at a young age her parents can say "it's like how Twyla is sensitive to noise you are the same way" or if a little girl befriends an autistic girl her parent can say "you know how Twyla have the need to stim? Your friend experiences the same thing"
of course a parent would say this less blunt-y but you get the jist of it.
But there is going to be a risk of people faking autism when it gets so much publicity which is super annoying. Cartoons can't really go on a tangent with "only a doctor can see if you have autism" because it would turn the episode into a lector and ruin the fun of a cartoon. I think now that discussing autism has become less taboo we also need to emphasise more on seeking out a diagnosis and how claiming you have something you don't is hurtful. I don't have kids so I don't know how to solve that. Parents and teachers now have anew task in talking about disorder-faking with their kids
No. 1592310
>>1592012Oof same. Back in school one girl came to talk to me and after some weeks she finally confessed that she thought I would be an asshole but I'm actually nice.
I don't know people automatically assume I'm going to treat them like trash
No. 1593452
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>>1592907It's not even over-diagnosed. Most of the people using it right now (especially on Tumblr and Twitter) are "self diagnosed," i.e., not actually autistic. The other day at work I felt SO tempted to ask this bitch when she got diagnosed, because I knew she'd spout some nonsense about how she's self-diagnosed because fuck the system or whatever.
No. 1597034
>>1591911i know you got your information on autism from a bunch of zoomers faking cause they all love going on about how it is impossible to get diagnosed as a woman, it really isn't. They keep saying that because it makes it easier to LARP. If you genuinely believe you are autistic then get tested, it really isn't that hard especially now.
>>1592439i don't tell anyone, they will either think you're tiktok autistic or genuinely retarded. There's no benefit in telling people you have a developmental disorder
No. 1597699
>>1597034>i know you got your information on autism from a bunch of zoomers faking cause they all love going on about how it is impossible to get diagnosed as a woman, it really isn't.I never thought about it like that before; you have teens whining it's hard to get diagnosed when they're like 16 and likely haven't even tried to get evaluated. Or if they have, it clearly failed and they didn't get the result they wanted, hence it being "hard".
While on the topic, what's everyone's least favorite autism lie you've seen spread by tiktok/social media? (saying vaccine causes it is cheating, pick another one lol)
No. 1597736
>>1597699yeah i got diagnosed as a child in a, at the time, pretty backwards country, if i could get diagnosed here they sure as hell can in a western country.
They keep going on about how the diagnostic criteria don't fit women at all which is complete nonsense.
the most annoying lie is that autism has anything with someones moral or political values. Got into an argument on tiktok cause they kept saying that autistic people cannot be transphobic because a study showed autistic people have a strong sense of justice, i guess we are un-diagnosing anyone who doesn't have views popular in current year because there is no way someone can have different ideas of what is just.
They seriously think autism comes with some set beliefs rather than being a fucking developmental disorder, it's a cool club for kids that share your moral and political ideas and it makes you special and quirky, and not fucking miserable.
It was on a post about the good doctor, they absolutely hate that show bc they think he was transphobic, when it reality it's an incredibly woke show, he "understood" and accepted it later. They even had an episode with a "non offending" pedophile, trying to make people feel bad for pedos.
No. 1597760
>>1597736>Got into an argument on tiktok cause they kept saying that autistic people cannot be transphobic because a study showed autistic people have a strong sense of justiceFunnily enough that is exactly why so many autists are against trans ideology. You can't convince my stubborn autist ass that physically cutting up mentally ill children's healthy bodies will magically heal their mental health. Or that they should be chemically castrated and have their brains developmentally stunted (there are enough of us already!). It's immoral and disgusting, everyone professionally involved with it should go to jail.
Ironically the same people reject the label "aspergers" because… the guy it's named after supposedly "experimented on autistic children"…? Sound familiar?
No. 1597782
>>1597760it is absolutely insane, they are advocating for the sterilization of gay and autistic people (and weird fetishists but they love their girldicks), sterilizing the undesirables is totally not like what the evil natzees did though, this is totally positive. The
terf autists i know all experienced body dysmorphia, i'm glad this shit wasn't popular when i was young because i thought i would be happier if i was a boy, there was no one encouraging this idea so i eventually learned to accept myself, but now the psychs would have encouraged me to go with this shit rather than offering help for my actual issues, i'd destroy my health and nothing would be fixed. It's not like their autism, anxiety or depression goes away after, they are all still miserable. I had a friend as a teenager that had all the issues i did, i checked up on her and she's had her breasts removed and is a gayboy now, but even more depressed and anxious than before. I doubt being constantly told that you are persecuted and at risk of hate crimes makes their anxiety any better, and worrying about passing etc. It's really insane that people don't see it for what it is, we look at some of the horrifying medical treatments of the past and wonder how they could do that… it makes no sense that so many people support this, that they don't see what they are doing.
No. 1600221
I have weird medical history. A different nuero disorder essentially gave me the symptoms of adhd, and I am semi formally diagnosed asd, just never went all the way 'through' with test referrals from therapists Ive seen for unrelated reasons. Anyway, my 'adhd' like issues are so, so much better after getting nuerological issue finally treated. I fried my brain's attention span like every other person with an internet connection. Now that I function much better I have been actively training my focus and attention. Screen time is pretty low most days, I read more, draw more, write more, meditate. Its been a process and takes work, real work esp being phone addjcted prior. And I dont have adhd for real so I can imagine the struggle for anyone with it trying to do the same. There is a reason I didnt before my underlying brain issue was treated, it was so hard. Anyway. Now I can actually focus better, and be very in tune to the right here. But, when I get interrupted, I get more and more pissed. Its a bit unreasonable sometimes, like if I am focused on my tasks and my nigel says something in passing which is a convo initiation I feel a rage inside of me. I can no longer focus on what he says if there is any other voice happening, like a podcast and he wants to say something mundane like 'the package arrived' its like my brain immediate scrambles and neither he nor my podcast is heard and it fills me with anger. I have a much harder time switching tasks now. I cant text and then have someone say something to me kek it pisses me off. Idk if my asd is now showing up more with the rage at being interrupted or if by using ear plugs so often to aid in focus I lost the ability to filter noise? Idk.
No. 1600498
>>1600208It can be creepy as all heck if you're a normie woman and a grown ass man comes up and starts talking about his autism and you have little to no knowledge what it means. Most people aren't chronically online in autist spaces nor have they (knowingly) met autists. A lot of people still think autism means "severely retarded" so in their eyes it's sort of the equivalent of an unknown guy who clearly isn't severely retarded coming up to you claiming he is for seemingly no reason.
I also personally think some autists use it as an excuse to not care about learning social rules. So instead of the guy blaming himself for having accidentally broken an unwritten rule and made a woman uncomfortable he can instead go "she's just an uneducated ableist, I don't need to change my beahviour because she's the one in the wrong here".
No. 1600502
>>1600221>I fried my brain's attention span like every other person with an internet connection.I have been seriosuly wondering about this. Some people claim ADHD in particular has been overdiganosed the last decades, but a lot of ADHD influencers say the opposite (of course, makes their fan base bigger kek) and we're simply now properly diagnosing more people. But then we have SO many studies showing all people's (especially kids) attention spans are going to shit because of how we've made media to be, having shit diets and having phones available at your fingertips. And the lack of toys and playing outside is swapped to flat screens, so practical hand abilities are lost too.
And not to defend males but we know boys are more likely to be into rough play and have a harder time focusing than girls on average. My friends young nephew is getting medicated for ADHD because his mom is convinced he has it, but everything described sounds like perfectly normal boy behaviour. I'm wondering if she honestly doesn't know girls and boys are "supposed to" behave diffrently. To be fair I'm an autist so maybe I'm not the best judge, but I have worked with young kids before and even I can tell the difference between male and female kids behaviour patterns. If we could medicate out stupid moid behaviour then that would be something, but I think all it's doing is giving werid drugs to these boys making them even more fucked up adult men later in life instead of dealing with their actual issues, if they had any.
No. 1600529
>>1600498 Agree with male autists using it as an excuse, creepy autist moids are the worst because they're male. They can say that and appeal for understanding but a few moments later they're behind you and smelling your hair.
Though in general I dislike whoever use autism as an excuse to be a nuisance or whiny piece of shits. They sadly weren't bullied or disciplined violently enough.
No. 1600749
A thing that annoys me with people with aspergers and high-functioning autism (as an apsie myself) is that how they think they get to speak on every issues regarding disabilities. I'm specifically thinking of media portrayal of disabilities but there probably are some more serious issues where this also happens.
Whenever a public discussion comes up of regarding something mocking or harming people with a physical disability, low-funcitoning autists or people with down syndrome. apsies always has to be peep in and say "I'm disabled and I don't have an issue with this". I know that it isn't easy growing up with aspergers and it does affect your life, but we can still live independently without care takers, we can still learn to blend into society, it's not easy but it's possible. Aside from that we got more agency and autonomy over our voices and life. Some disabled people are in extremely vulnerable positions and can't even get in a position where they can advocate for their rights.
I'm just tired of other people with aspergers who refuse to see that some disabled people have it harder than others and insist on the can relate to every issue regarding disability. Aspies always has to shoehorn themeselves in on the discussion of ableism and act like an authority on itof course everyone on the autism spectrum experience some form for ableism in their lives but c'mon you can't claim you understand every aspect of ableism because it's impossible to experience it all. It's like when people with depression and anxiety claim that their mental illness is exactly being in a wheelchair, I'm not saying you aren't struggling but don't take over other people's issue and make it about yourself.
I also hate how many burger aspies I have seen who are working on removing the aspergers diagnosis and removing high/low-functioning label and just call it all autism. That is only going to harm the low-functioning autists. They deserve to be able to talk about their specific struggle and get the accommodation and help they need, which is completely different from the accommodation high-functioning autists needs. If we remove the distinction between high and low-functioning then all accommodation is made to suit one type of autistic, which either means that high-functioning autists can no longer get help because they no longer qualifies as autistic, or that low-functioning autists lose all their help and accomidation because "other people with their diagnosis can function fine without all this help".
Anyway my point is that I have seen high-functioning autists and people with down syndrome talk about how they have no autonomy over their lives, are extremely vulnerable legally and statistically very likely to experience abuse. So aspies should stop drowning this conversation with "people made fun of me in school because I couldn't hold eye-contact", it's not the same!! stop speaking on these issues!!!!!!
No. 1601527
>>1600749I feel like a good portion of those "aspies" aren't even autists to begin with but people who are self-diagnosed because they're "quirky and different" and like the attention they get from speaking about it. But perhaps I just get defensive because I so strongly disagree with these people and don't want to be associated with them at all.
But even then it just proves the point that I've also been saying for years, that merging the two, autism and aspergers, was a mistake from the start. They are better explained and treated separated from each other so I absolutely agree with you, and it IS the fault of mainly American self-diagnosed "autists" rejecting the label.
>either means that high-functioning autists can no longer get help because they no longer qualifies as autistic,I've long since decided that I'd much prefer this outcome where I am actively harmed by no longer being labelled an autist, if it means autist goes back to just meaning the low-functioning end and all the "high functioning yet somehow magically without a single issue" self-diagnosers all got kicked out. If everyone is an autist, no one is an autist. I only have a sliver of the struggles some other people have, and that's enough to convince me that they have it hard enough that they need and deserve help more than I do and should be prioritized.
>>1600816This is so true. If you do not match the criteria of a medical diagnosis, then you simply do not have it. The struggles are in the criteria. And the struggles are such that they would still be struggles no matter if the outside world changed to be accepting, because the problem is within us. As someone once told me "you can't diagnose a sprained ankle as a broken bone and be correct, even though your foot hurt in both cases". It's not really autism if you're just socially awkward, even if the social awkwardness is on the same level as an autists, for example.
No. 1602003
>>1600502Ayrt yeah I totally get what you mean. I know this is a thread for adhd nonas and dont want to piss anyone off, I am 100% certain its a real inherited disorder, and also it is a disorder that can be given to a person via environment. Im talking mostly children these days as young adults today still probably didnt have the sheer amount of stimulation kids do now, I think children's brains are forming and growing around the constant stimulation hence developmental adhd. And yeah between female and male there is a noticable difference in behavior on average i totally agree. I think adults w adhd should take a look into the nueroscience behind it as there are ways to take advantage of nueroplasticity in a way that mitigates symptoms of adhd, but I also do not want to imply it is easy to self cure, you know what I mean? Most women itt seem to be actively trying to handle things wheras my experience with adult males with adhd is just an 'oh well, let me pop an adderall and let it do all the work so I only need to be 'better' 9 hours a day with no effort outside of remembering meds'. A small anecdote from a lil while ago is that I was hanging out w my nigels sister and her kids. Those kids just straight up dont know how to entertain themselves, and their mom is actually astoudingly well disciplined parent when it comes to patience and structure and routine for the kids…. they just cant entertain themselves somehow. She ranted to me about 'what happened? When we were young we use to play with sticks and mud and it would be an intricate story of knights and castles and fairytales…its like they have no imagination' while tell them to go play outside. They just literally dont know how. I am an autist and love tinkering with hands on projects and so I took them and showed them how to blow massive bubbles with a pan of soapy water and a rickety makeshift bubble wand made from random trash wire and they LOVED it. I think the problem is also that most adults, normie or not, also lost their creativity, assigning it a 'thing' you lose when you grow up. Expecting a kid to just figure out how to engage with the world in an entertaining way, without seeing any examples from adults doing the same because we are all tired and want to sit down and mindlessly scroll to take a 'break' so the kids get sent outside to play, never understanding what real play actually is bc its a foreign concept. Idk why I ranted this weird disjointed rant, but whatever. My nigel does have adhd and I believe it, but fuck I wish he would actively attempt, even if the result is failure, to make some sort of behavioral adjuatment to deal w adhd and not just pop stimulants. He thinks that my attention comes easier somehow, but I actively work hard on that shit.
No. 1604345
>>1602003>I am 100% certain its a real inherited disorder, and also it is a disorder that can be given to a person via environment.I absolutely think you can "get" ADHD without having been born for it the way you say, but I can't see it for autism (not saying you said that, just speculating). I remember reading a bit of a study saying drug use in your teens led to ADHD later in life, so this is despite them having had 0 ADHD symptoms as kids which doesn't add up for the "can only born with it, it's natural" crowd. I think many autists naturally have ADHD as a symptom of how their autistic brain works (and neurotypicals not knowing how to deal with it stressing them out leading to the "problems" getting worse over time), but it's still far from every autist who has it. I think for a non-autist to get autism they'd need some kind of severe brain trauma during their developmental years that makes their brain reroute in a way that happens to mimic an autists brain, which would be super unlikely to happen even if it technically probably isn't impossible. In the end I think the real spectrum is ADHD and not autism, there are a billion reasons why someone could develop into having a hard time focusing and end up perfectly fitting the ADHD criteria, while autism really is more narrow. I guess the fact that you can also "medicate away" ADHD to some degree but not autism is also in a way proof of this.
Anecdote - I watched a detrans youtuber who claimed she was autistic for a while when she was trans but got cured from it. The next minute she said she sees herself like a cold unemotional robot just mimicking real humans - I was watching it thinking "sweetie you clearly are still an autist" kek
No. 1604453
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omfg shut the fuck up. Everyone thinks they have autism or adhd now. while it's a good idea to research the disorders before seeking a diagnosis if you suspect you have them. But suspicion isn't proof enough that you have autism/adhd. It's like thinking you have ocd just because you don't like dirt
No. 1604466
>>1604453It's the fault of the shrinks making the symptoms too broad and vague. They are like horoscope now, and I fully believe the ratio of autism diagnoses will rise until it reaches approximately 1 in 12. That's the % of any one sign in horoscope, and the broad 'symptoms' of autism are almost indistinguishable from traits ascribed to the Virgo sign.
They should just get rid of the "spectrum", it's obviously a failed idea. If such a huge percentage of people have these supposed symptoms, it's not a disorder, it's just a normal human variation. A classic personality type that is so prevalent throughout history it even got a horoscope sign.
No. 1604531
>>1604503I think the psychiatric industry is failing to uphold a high standard for itself as it should.
This results in such serious life-impacting blunders like that scandal about misdiagnosing tons of kids as trans in the UK.
The formation of the autism "spectrum" is another such blunder, negatively impacting people who have the worst autism symptoms.
It's like they're in a rush to slap everyone with swooping labels, where is the care for the individual
Another big problem I see is how psychology is divorced from sociology, it just takes for granted the current social climate and treats it as a healthy default and every deviance from it as a problem. But it's much more complex than that.
Nobody can hold the phych industry accountable apart from themselves, but they aren't interested in doing it.
No. 1606241
>>1604896Whenever I wanted to cry but didn't know why it tended to be related to my period for me, so is it possible that's it? Both around ovulation time and right before my period I get those hyper emotional days. I think it's easy for autists to not be in tune with our bodies so I felt it's worth pointing out even though it's "obvious". Especially because at least for me I was never told ovulation, which is like at the mid point between periods, could cause the same symptoms as PMS. I spent years being confused over why I got randomly depressed or had cramps thinking "oh must be my period is coming up tomorrow" only to wait two weeks with no sign of said period. All because no one ever told me ovulation could have the same symptoms.
On the other hand now as an adult my PMS days are often some of my best days, because rather than getting depressed-emotional I get happy-emotional instead and it is the biggest blessing I could ever have received. It's prime time for watching movies or reading books, because everything is an emotional masterpiece for me kek
No. 1606243
>>1604531>I think the psychiatric industry is failing to uphold a high standard for itself as it should. 100% this. They now seriously think and advocate chopping of the breasts of a trauma
victim at 13 years old who hates her body will help her because she's truly actually a boy, it is so ludicrous.
>>1604503>All bc uwuwu inclusiveness and omg nazi!!1!. Its completely retarded.I can't stand that other autists will accuse you of either being a nazi or "gatekeeping" if you say aspergers and autism should be split. Yes, I do in fact want strict gatekeeping when it comes to severe mental disorders, and every sane person agrees with me. I don't want scare resources meant for sufferers to go to people who don't need it in the first place.
No. 1607960
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>>1580797Ok nonas. Prepare for some major tinfoiling.
I think that the "I'm a surgeon" meme sprouted as a smokescreen for a less known meme of the same series that was becoming somewhat popular where Shaun (the surgeon) was being trannyphobic to a MtF patient. Shaun kept referring to him as -him- (based) and the other colleagues keep correcting him. Just to culminate with a "Well, she has testicular cancer" or something like that, funny shit in general.
That became popular and then out of nowhere the "I'm a surgeon!!!!" one appeared and the other one was forgotten.
The people of Twitter must be "happy to see that transphobe oppressor suffering!11"
I have no evidence but also no doubts.
Sperging over.
No. 1610993
>>1609928If you get a diagnosis but think it's inaccurate you can go see another health care provider and ask for a second opinion. There should be notes about you in the diagnostic papers, so if they say something like "anon literally didn't shut up about their special interest the whole time, clearly an autist trait" and you disagree because you only mentioned said topic one time because they asked, and you're not actually that interested in it at all but they kept asking forcing you to reply, you can bring things like that up.
Part of the reason why it's so easy to fake tiktok autism is that normal people can super easily mimic autistic symptoms on purpose so they just have to go in and play pretend for a bit. Or even by "accident" (like how kids started getting actual tourettes symptoms out of nowhere just from watching people fake it on tiktok). If you're the kind of person who reads horoscopes and goes "omg this is SO true, I AM such a virgo sun rising tauros moon sauron star person, this totally makes sense the stars are right" then you're more susceptible to "adopting" disorders you don't actually have.
No. 1611721
File: 1687160105481.jpg (80.54 KB, 700x997, based.jpg)
Stolen from another thread but the person who coined the term "neurodiverse" is openly "transphobic" (also just known as capable of rational thought and logic), I thought she was too woke and pandering to the internet crowd from some previous statement so this was a huge win in my book.
You can usually easily trick an insecure autist into thinking they're trans, but once we've peaked we can never go back and we can't be bullied into shutting up about it, unlike the cowardly normies who half of the time end up backing down and apologizing.
No. 1611726
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>>1611721She back pedaled after being bullied and I think she deleted the original tweet too. RIP.
No. 1611728
>>1611726so much for the "autists don't back down" lmao
tbh I don't actually know if she is an autist herself or just a researcher though
No. 1611732
>>1610993I gotcha, for now I have a bit of faith in her because she pointed out that how other people see me is a lot more telling than how I think I act, especially if it's something that's consistent or happened when I was a child. The only other thing that made me a little miffed about sperging was that I felt like she was more interested in seeing me sperg than what I was sperging about. I'll only get the full diagnosis report in a little over a month, so fingers crossed.
Aspie nonnas, is it possible to be on the spectrum without much sensory issues? Like I'm totally okay with certain loud places if it's expected (movies, arcade) but I go fucking insane when I'm home in the living room with all the people moving around, watching TV, closing the door too loud or talking on the phone. And I guess I also hate showers, I hate the feeling of wetness on my skin. Like showers themselves is fine, it's when I come out of the shower that irks me. Ugh. Yeah, this is the one thing that makes me think I'm probably neurotypical.
No. 1611741
>>1611728I think she said she is autistic in another tweet as a reason why she posted the transphobic thing. I partially think she’s full of shit and just trying to appease people but she doesn’t actually mean the apology. They aren’t even accepting it ofc because she apparently follows other
terf accounts and has liked terfy tweets. She’s like 72 or something, people should give her a break regardless. Zoomers bullying an old autistic lady for thought crimes is peak twitter.
No. 1611747
>>1611726Just thinking out loud here, but twitter really turns you weak. People who deal with science and research shouldn't be on it, they let it influence their thoughts and words too much, it's unhealthy both for themselves and for their work.
An analogy would be a classical musician posting their work, then one day they do a classical cover but of a modern pop song. More people are fans of pop music, so it gets more attention. This larger group keep praising only the pop song and asking for more pop covers and the musician caves. Suddenly they're only ever doing pop covers, no original works whatsoever, which in turn makes the original fans leave while feeling sad to have lost a rare modern classical composer. All the original thoughts and intention is lost to just mimic what is the most popular at the moment.
I think researchers face the same issue when they're told "gender is real", "troons are women" over and over. They start pandering and lose sight of what was the real issue.
No. 1611785
>>1611721this highlights how much the trans movement revolves around denying reality. We can all agree that a white person claiming to be black is racist, and a black person claiming to be white is insecure. But the minute we say that a man claiming to be a woman is a misogynist then it's suddenly bigotry
>>1611732>Like I'm totally okay with certain loud places if it's expected (movies, arcade) but I go fucking insane when I'm home in the living room with all the people moving around, watching TV, closing the door too loud or talking on the phone. And I guess I also hate showers, I hate the feeling of wetness on my skin. Like showers themselves is fine, it's when I come out of the shower that irks meI feel the same way when it comes to sensory things. I'm also not bothered at all by bright lights and certain food texture like most aspies are. It's a spectrum for a reason people experience it differently. I still have other aspie symptoms like not being able to converse with other and struggling with holding eye contact and sitting still (several doctors have pointed out to me how my eyes keeps shifting when I talk to people) and general other aspie traits
No. 1611800
>>1611732>Aspie nonnas, is it possible to be on the spectrum without much sensory issues?Yes, but also no. Previous nonas have written it in these threads but every single autistic trait can be experienced by normies, and every trait can be because of something else even if you're autistic. It's both simple and complicated.
Sensory issues is one of the main traits of autism, so finding an autist without any sensory issues should be virtually impossible. But it's also extremely common for all people to be sensitive in some area. I'm someone who doesn't have a lot of sensory issues, or I accidentally "mask" out some of them. For example I'm light sensitive and really struggle with seeing outside if it's not overcast, but thanks to hats and sunglasses being seen as perfectly normal people don't get how much light hurts my eyes, and in turn it took me until I was an adult to understand that normal people aren't in constant pain and just pretending to be fine from sunlight like I was. But normal people also use sunglasses and hats for the same reason, because no one can really look directly into the sun without pain, so it might as well not be an autist trait and perhaps I just have weak eyes! Point is though, I had no idea it was me being "oversensitive" until normies were shocked that I couldn't see because of the sunlight. I thought my eyes were normal.
>for now I have a bit of faith in her because she pointed out that how other people see me is a lot more telling than how I think I actThis is probably a good sign. This also ties in with what I said above, I remember seeing a video pointing out an evaluation scenario of autism that made sense to me.
You had the evaluator asking the potential autist:
>"Are you bothered and get sensory issues from X?"The potential autist replied:
>"Oh no, I'm not bothered by X. Because I have a system that keeps X from bothering me."And that's a bigger sign of autism than if they had just said "yes, X really does bother me". The natural autist need for rituals and systems. And possibly the fact that (using myself as an example here) thinking something like wearing caps and sunglasses at all times warrants a "no" to the question if I'm bothered by light, when a normal person would probably say "yes, that's why I wear those things".
These are the details a trained clinician should know, as an autist I don't even get all of the signs they should be looking for.
No. 1611829
>>1611800>I accidentally "mask" out some of themI never considered this, it might very possibly be doing this but am completely unaware. Or it could be that I just don't have them at all. That evaluation video you pointed out also explains the autistic thought process pretty well. I can't remember from the top of my head in regards to anything like this for me, so that's up to my doc to get it out from me or the interviews with my family members.
>>1611785>eyes keep shifting when I talk to peopleThis entire time I thought it was normal to do that! I have a subconscious timer in my head where I count how long I'm allowed to 'look away' and 'look at them' and people say it's rude to not look at the other person but also rude to stare so this entire time I thought it was pretty normal, till I asked my siblings about it and they admitted that my eye contact is unusual and that sometimes I say things with a facial expression that doesn't match. I really don't like looking too long into people's eyes, it feels like they're looking right into me. But this could also be anxiety. Come to think, that explains why I have a hard time remembering people's faces till I meet them over 5 times, because I'm barely looking at their faces properly most of the time kek
>>1611805Not gonna lie I kind of disagree slightly with this, the number of troons who are also autistic is staggering. IIRC there's a few studies talking about the over representation of autistic traits among trans individuals. I swear troons probably just have autism. When was a tiny little girl I was more drawn to toys/clothes for boys and wanted to be a boy because I kept getting told 'you can't do that because you're a girl' but ultimately realized that I can still do and have all those things anyway, fuck the haters. I'd bet all the money to my name that they ended up TIFs because of gender rubbish spouted on twitter/tumblr and a sexist environment.
No. 1611832
>>1611829>Not gonna lie I kind of disagree slightly with this, the number of troons who are also autistic is staggering.ayrt, it's been discussed here before, autists are both more likely to be roped into the trans cult and to then get out and be against it. They'll all realize it eventually. I was talking specifically about seeing already peaked
terf nonas though, it's amazing how many terfs are on spectrum.
No. 1611849
>>1611829>I swear troons probably just have autism.I think it's more like "most (young and chronically online) autists identify as trans", but that overall most trans people aren't on the spectrum at all.
ROGD, trenders, homosexuals, and AGP tend to overall not be autistic, but there definitely is a a nerdy awkward autist class of troons as well, I just don't think they're as common as people try to make them out to be. But of course the groups can overlap, there are plenty of autistic AGPS and trenders too. Saying all ROGD kids are just all autistic is ridiculous, there are school classes where within a month or two 90% identify as some flavor of trans. The class isn't suddenly 90% autists.
When you say autistic TRAITS it's easier too agree, because they overlap even when the cause isn't autism for most of them. Like "being gender non-conforming" is a sign of both transness, autism and being gay. Doesn't mean a person is all of those things. Autists are vulnerable in many ways and other groups of people who are vulnerable in the same or similar ways thus get the same labels. The traits aren't necessarily "autistic traits" per se, but instead "traits that are common in several conditions, one of those being autism". Just my thoughts though.
No. 1611851
>>1611839I think it kind of just depends on the person? It can easily just mean you're shy, or easily distracted, or scared of the person in question.
I end up staring at people because I was told eye contact is important and I'm focusing really hard on paying attention to them
No. 1611880
>>1611832Fair enough, it's actually pretty great that most terfs here are like this so they 'get' that feeling of being different kek it makes their posts have that extra edge
>>1611849>Saying all ROGD kids are just all autistic is ridiculous, there are school classes where within a month or two 90% identify as some flavor of trans. The class isn't suddenly 90% autists. Yes of course, this is ridiculous, hence the 'probably'. I am of the opinion that the rest of the troons are probably either teen tryhard snowflakes that got brainwashed online. I actually did a quick fact check on this and:
>Autistic people are more likely to be transgender, which means having a gender identity different to one’s sex assigned at birth (Van der Miesen et al., 2018; Walsh et al., 2018). Warrier et al. (2020) found that that transgender adults were 3.03–6.36 times more likely to be autistic than cisgender people (i.e. people with congruence between their gender identity and sex assigned at birth). Other research has explored the relationship between autism and transgender identities, ranging from case-studies of transgender autistic individuals, to measuring autism traits and diagnoses of Autism Spectrum Disorder in transgender people and individuals accessing gender clinics, and rates of transgender identities in autistic individuals across the lifespan (for reviews, see Glidden et al., 2016; Øien et al., 2018; Thrower et al., 2020; Van der Miesen et al., 2016). This association may not be unique to autism; systematic reviews and large-scale studies have indicated that attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) may also be more common in transgender individuals compared to cisgender individuals (Thrower et al., 2020; Warrier et al., 2020).Since the current stat of autism among children worldwide is 1 in 100, that would only raise it for transgender people by not a staggering amount. My logic deduction and application of math on these figures are likely extremely flawed so I'd take my own words with a grain of salt. But in that vein, you are correct. Gomen I have made a mistake
>>1611839AYRT and yes it's normal? Though I was told that I shift too much. From my POV it's like a battle inside that I look, and then I look away because I get uncomfortable, and then I tell myself to look again and the cycle repeats. I get so pre-occupied with it that I don't remember actually looking at their faces properly. But to be fair others here pointed out that every single autistic trait can be experienced by neurotypicals. But that's enough blogposting for me. I'll keep you nonnas updated if anyone is actually interested.
No. 1611914
>>1611849>there are school classes where within a month or two 90% identify as some flavor of trans. The class isn't suddenly 90% autists.My discord group (fandom) is suddenly like 50% autist and I hate it. I'm a stealth autist in there so it makes me roll my eyes that they all have to loudly proclaim that they are oh so autistic. People don't give a shit and it's not gonna make a difference, if you act like an idiot and break rules people won't accept "oopsieee, am autist" and let you off the hook. I also can't help but wonder how many of them are "accidental fakers" given that all the new people are 100% woke, pro-trans worshippers etc. If tiktok told them autism is now white supremacy they'd stop being autistic within a week. And that's a fact given how none of them would touch the word "aspergers" with a ten foot pole, yet every single offline autist I've met prefers the term.
Is there a word for tiktok disorder adaption? Social contagion perhaps? But then saying autism can be caught via social contagion sends the wrong message. Or is it a subtype of hypochondria?
No. 1612046
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Is it possible to have autism without notable social deficits? I was diagnosed with autism when I was younger but I was also traumatized at that time which resulted in things like not being able to make eye-contact at all, barely could speak, selectively mute, monotone, no expression, etc. As I got older it turns out my general social skills are good, people would describe me (on initial meeting) as warm, friendly, people definitely tend to initially like me very much, I'm very polite and in a conversation I will pick up on non-verbal social cues. I almost never unintentionally say anything rude or inappropriate or ever make anyone feel uncomfortable, usually have a high awareness of that stuff (even more than an average NT). I can mostly tell along the lines of what people are thinking even if they are not saying it, or even if they say one thing but mean another I can usually tell. I'm also not sure if this is just another result of trauma, fawning, extreme desire to make people like me, and being hyperaware of non-verbal signals and small shifts in atmosphere because I constantly feel threatened. However all other autism stuff I connect with besides social capability. Sensory issues, stimming, special interest, I don't know if these can be attributed to other mental health issues (although I think some sensory issues can also be nervous system dysregulation due to trauma). I have zero idea how to explain the stimming without autism which I have done very heavily since childhood. Also even though I say my social skills are good, I am not able to really maintain friendships or anything like that because I get uncomfortable when I'm close to people and I am avoidant. I actually like small talk because I have had this conversation a million times already and I prefer something predictable and without sharing true feelings. Any friendship I have is with someone who is very eccentric, also autistic, and understands if I ghost them for a year at a time. I also experience severe social anxiety although I can mask this for periods and get the effect I described above of people liking me. I get extremely tired from social interaction and something like a one hour coffee with someone will ruin me that day and the next day (I will be paralyzed by anxiety beforehand and have to go to bed with the lights off for 24 hours after, I'll sleep badly and the next day I'll feel groggy and bad, plus everything that happened in the meeting will play on a loop non-stop for the day with added criticism, analysis).
Recently speaking to doctors and it sort of threw me because they asked how I felt about my autism diagnosis and said they did not see me having autism because of my social skills. This is after a somewhat in-depth, long interview. I like having the diagnosis because it more easily explains things like my level of functioning to me (barely can leave the house, can't get an education or job, can't have real relationships, can't drive, etc) and whatever is wrong with me I just find extremely confusing otherwise. By the way I am in my 30s so this is very much an established pattern of behavior, I have genuinely and honestly made big efforts and commitment to improve my life and it just never works out. Sorry for rambling nonnies, I would be very grateful for any advice or opinions if anything comes to mind on this topic.
No. 1612247
>>1612046>Is it possible to have autism without notable social deficits?No, not really. It's a developmental disorder that primarily affects social abilities.
Nobody here can diagnose you but you know that already, and generally we don't like it when people use this thread to ask "am I autistic", but I think your case is interesting and want to offer insight anyway.
Often the most likely and obvious answer IS the answer. It seems the most likely answer is your "autistic" traits came from your trauma. And as you healed from your trauma you also healed some of those traits, which is a super good thing and I'm happy for you!
Something that's not pointed out enough is that nearly all autists have a direct family member who is also an autist, meaning a parent or sibling (or both). The number should be even higher if you expand to grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. Even if undiagnosed, you should be able to recognize clear autistic traits in someone around you. So that's something to consider.
>However all other autism stuff I connect with besides social capability. Sensory issues, stimming, special interest, I don't know if these can be attributed to other mental health issues (although I think some sensory issues can also be nervous system dysregulation due to trauma).I have zero idea how to explain the stimming without autism which I have done very heavily since childhood.Stimming is often a "self-soothing" method used even by neurotypicals. But to me it seems like it's fairly common for ANY kind of mental disorder and it being linked to autism specifically seems to be the fault of social media. Among ND people I've met it seems the ADHD side stim more than the "just" autistic side, but that is anecdotal. You say "since childhood", but if it was also around the time of your trauma that still seems to be a clear link there? Stimming appears to be common in distressed kids as a way of soothing and self-control, so at least to me it makes perfect sense that trauma could lead to stimming.
How intense are your special interests? Most people have something they're passionate about like a hobby or topic, and that's not something that should be pathologized. Was your interest established in childhood and has been an interest without a gap since then? Does it change or shift ever so often? Does it affect how you interact with other topics and interests? For me I developed my special interest in early childhood and it's my main interest to this day. I accidentally bring it into every other thing I do even when I actively try not to, because it truly brings me so much joy I can't stop myself.
Sensory issues is a very typical autistic trait, but it's not at all exclusive to autism. It could just mean you're sensitive in certain areas, or that you have lingering trauma. For example, soldiers with PTSD struggling with loud noises.
>I also experience severe social anxietySocial anxiety is honestly disabling in of itself. I can't diagnose you, but to me it really sounds like your problems came from trauma rather than this one specific developmental disorder called autism. It might feel odd to suddenly have to think of yourself as possibly not-autistic anymore, but if such is the case that is absolutely the best possible scenario for you! Because it means you're not doomed to these traits, you can heal and overcome them! And that would be wonderful!
If I were you I wouldn't immediately discard the diagnosis, but I would move on as if I didn't consider it correct. You don't have to tell people about it if you don't want to, if you benefit from people thinking you're autistic right now then, fuck it, keep it for now. But basically ignore the "autism" and just hyper focus on further healing your trauma and your social anxiety. You matter as a person and you deserve to heal, you even owe it to yourself to try to heal. Don't look for autistic specific solutions, and instead look at them from other perspectives. Worst case scenario, it just turns out you healed your trauma further and still have autistic traits - so at least it won't get worse. This got pretty long and probably to rambly, but it's what you get when you ask an autist kek good luck nona!
No. 1613135
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>>1613027NTA but this post inspired me to go on a little blog kind of relating to this. At 18 I discovered that substances strangely make me act/feel NT and i sort of ruined my life in the pursuit of feeling normal. I got addicted to feeling a sense of belonging and acceptance and went way overboard with the substance use, which led me to throwing out my education and career plans so I can spend more time with “friends”. It sounds pathetic but I literally became a drug addict so I could be liked, especially by men (I had a weird fixation on drug dealers). I went from adderall to ecstasy to benzos to opiates. When I landed at heroin I got stuck there, which is pretty cliche but it happened. I’m clean from hard drugs 6 years now and even quit weed last month. I only had one other (diagnosed) autistic friend who did drugs but he was a moid and he ended up ODing and died. I feel kind of isolated in my trauma because almost every other autistic woman I know has a good head on her shoulders and would never do drugs harder than weed. I’m way past it now but still feel a lot of shame in my stupidity and desperation, especially since I now look at the people I tried to impress with disgust and hatred
No. 1613229
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I couldn't socialize with other kids and I was often in therapy as a kid. Now I'm in my late 20s and I'm cleaning some stuff and I found some old papers collected by my mother, and I found out the psychiatrist actually diagnosed me with schizotypal personality disorder when I was 13. All this time I thought I was only diagnosed with anxiety. Can you even diagnose SPD in a 13 year old? Also, throughout all my teens I heard that I don't have a proper diagnosis and everything is unclear for them and they will have to diagnose me after my 18th birthday. I did some tests after my 18th birthday, there was like 200 questions, and then the same psychiatrist who "diagnosed" me with SPD analyzed those tests and she told me the results were too contradictory and that means I wasn't honest while replying and I didn't cooperate????? I was so tired at this point, after years
of useless treatment, and I wanted to know what's "wrong" with me, and this woman basically accused me of lying. Now, after like 6 years of not being in therapy and zero contact with the psychiatry, I started therapy with a therapist I found on my own and she tells me she's basically sure I'm on the spectrum, an aspie to be precise (but now it's also in the spectrum anyway). She worked with diagnosed autists btw. So what the fuck??? When reading about both autism and SPD, the first one fits way more to me. Not just problems with communication, but sensory issues, problems with coordination, stimming, even "T rex" hands that I make unawarely and I only found out I'm holding my hands like this because my coworker was mocking me for it and I consulted it with my therapist and she told me it's about muscle tension. If I'm indeed an autist, and I think I am, how could no one notice that, despite being in therapy since I was 11, and being seen by like 3 different psychiatrists? I live in an eastern european country so maybe we were even more backwards when it comes to autism diagnosis in girls than the west, idk. But I was still seen
when I was 18-20. I always had sensory issues but nobody EVER asked me about those things when I was a kid, or when I was 18, so I never talked about them. I'm so confused
No. 1613292
>>1613229I don't relate with anything you said but only with the fact that some therapists tend to overlook or even ignore some symptoms when you are a teenager, because most of the issue with girls is reduced to "oh it's the hormones!"
Some of the things I told my first psychiatrist were that I have a lot of problems with hearing, that I don't have friends because I can't socialize and students bullied me 24/7 for things I couldn't understand, and that I forget the faces of literally everybody -even my family members- the second I stop looking at them (as of right now, if I had to picture my face in my own mind, nothing comes up, so once in a while, I go to the mirror the remember how I look like)
He brushed off all of that. Didn't ask me to elaborate, no nothing. Just went "oh, I see" and proceeded to tell me I had social anxiety.
The second therapist I went to told me I was Aspie. But maybe the second one is wrong and maybe I DO have social anxiety, but then what the fuck is up with the other stuff?
Anyway, good luck with your things nona.I'm sure something will come out of it
No. 1613302
>>1607960the show is actually incredibly woke and pro trans, a lot of the time it's beating you over the head with shit it feels more like a lecture, they do cover shit that's actually important too like racism, misogyny and medical misogyny in it but they could do with being more subtle. He eventually accepts the mtf and in another episode they have a pregnant gay trans man. I mentioned the pedo story line they had somewhere in this thread too. I agree that the hatred is largely because of his "transphobia" tho, they can't even accept a storyline that in the end is supposed to be about someone learning to accept trannies bc he dared to not be fully on board at first. The other part of their hatred for this show is that it shows negative aspects of being a sperg and the self identified tards like to pretend those don't exist.
>>1611747why do they all have twitter? I don't get it, literally everyone seems to need to be on there, it's not like you can have a good discussion about anything there anyway. Politicians, scientists, authors, and every fucking company being quirky and relatable, i hate it.
>>1613135i have my own issues with drug abuse and the autistic women i know do too, i think we're all just pretty quiet about it. I would never suspect they had issues with drugs too because they seemed to have their shit together much more than me, but it's probably a lot more common than you think. We all look for ways to cope somehow, i used opiates during my time in uni because the whole thing was overwhelming for me.
No. 1613482
>>1613135I've heard autists get addicted easier and getting sober is harder because we have hyperfocus brains that won't let things go. If you got out you did really well nona.
I'm one of those autist drug-prudes who don't even drink energy drinks kek I feel like my brain is already messed up enough, I'm not going to make it worse on purpose by taking drugs.
No. 1613485
>>1613302>i have my own issues with drug abuse and the autistic women i know do too, i think we're all just pretty quiet about it.Samefagging from
>>1613482 but for aspies around me it's the opposite, none of us have ever touched drugs, most of us don't even drink alcohol even though it's fully accepted and even expected here. But my crowd is mostly the "nerdy science autists" so idk if other groups are different.
No. 1614396
>>1614115>I don't believe I need any accommodations for my condition, the diagnosis would be more so for my own knowledge.I'm gonna be honest, it's a complete waste of time and money nona. To actually qualify for a diagnosis you need to be "suffering" from it, and this is true for all conditions not just autism. If you're fully capable of walking without a problem and don't need a wheelchair, no respectable medical provider would approve you to get one. Even if you were born without a foot and have to wear a prosthetic leg to walk, getting a wheelchair would still be silly. Getting an autism diagnosis just because you feel a few not-bothersome traits match you is equally silly.
However, if you went to a private medical provider saying "if you think I could get a wheelchair I will buy it from you for a lot of money" they will most likely sell it to you, because they can and you'll just be a happy client with a shiny new wheelchair. Or diagnosis in your case.
You're already aware of several downsides of having a diagnosis and you're clearly already aware of whatever traits you have you think match autism. You're fully capable of accommodating those needs by yourself. There is literally nothing for you to gain. You don't need a dumb ass label (or to be denied one) to know yourself, you just need to know how YOU function and how to deal with it. And you already know that!
No. 1614728
>>1614423>I'm just a curious type of person who likes to know the "why" behind everything.I think it's a mistake (by people in general, not saying it's just you) to think a diagnosis even explains the "why".
For example, let's say you have 2 common autistic sensory issues: one is with clothes, most of them hurt your skin and you can only wear a specific really soft kind of clothes without being in severe discomfort and pain. The second sensory issue is bright lights, you can't stand it and the specific lights make you unable to focus. Then one day you get diagnosed with autism and you finally have an explaination to why you were so overly sensitive to those things! It doesn't take away the sensory issues, but having an explaination makes you feel a bit more secure in yourself. For years you do your best to deal with them, with varying results. Then one day you go to the optician to get sunglasses to protect you from the bright lights that so bother you. They notice something is off with your eyes, and it turns out you have an eye disease that gets worse from UV light. Luckily there's a surgery to help it, you just have to see a doctor. The next day you meet a doctor and you mention your skin is overly sensitive. The doctor makes you do a test, turns out you've been allergic to synthetic fibres all along and that's why you couldn't stand most clothes. So in the end neither of your sensory issues came from having autism, and could actually be treated, so your suffered for many extra years because you already had your "why" explaination.
Now this could be the case for every single of your autistic symptoms. What if your eyes really were sensitive from autism, but your skin issue really was an allergy. Or the other way around. How would you know? The person who diagnosed you just checked the "sensory issues" box and took it as a sign of autism.
What if your slightly sheltered upbringing made you feel like your social skills don't match that of your peers? What if you have a mild case of dyslexia that neither you nor anyone else ever spotted and that made it extrememly hard to focus in school and made you feel like an outcast? What if you're naturally smart and love to read, and as a result there's a clear gap between you and your peers when it comes to knowledge and intelligence where you're way above them? What if your parents not being native speakers of English led to you having difficulties in detecting sarcasm because their and your native language doesn't have it? What if you watched so much tiktok or youtube that you became so convinced you have difficulties you didn't have that you actually developed some of them for real? What if you have another disorder entirely? What if that childhood event that "wasn't that big of a deal" but you still remember it often actually did give you some lasting trauma?
Nothing listed negates having autism on its own. But treating a diagnosis as an explaination when it comes to a very uneven condition frequently called a "spectrum" has been a mistake from the start. And it's only getting worse the more they broaden the diagnosis criteria. You still won't actually know anything new.
No. 1615001
>>1614728Thanks for the response.
You've raised many
valid points, though a fraction of me remains unconvinced. I still feel like a diagnosis—or even a sort of impression from a psychiatrist—would at least provide me
some closure, but you're right in that a diagnosis won't change anything. I think in my personal understanding, it is most likely I have ASD and a diagnosis isn't like a magic potion which instantaneously infuses autism into my blood the moment at which I drink it.
I thought this point
>And it's only getting worse the more they broaden the diagnosis criteria.was very interesting and very true from what I've read. When I was very young they said I had PDD-NOS and then they undiagnosed me (I do not know the specifics behind this.). I read on Reddit that they now absorb it into the ASD diagnosis. I think maybe it was a good idea that my parents did not pursue for me to have an ASD label when I was a child.
No. 1617132
>>1616698Study those things you wish you had nona.
For example you can learn how to make your voice not sound so monotone. I'm assuming you can tell what is and isn't monotone since you're complaining about it. You can try to copy the speech patterns of someone whose voice you like, like a youtuber. Watch their videos and try to copy what they're saying. Maybe use your phone to record yourself saying it and then play it back and see how you compare and if you can match it closer to how they said it in the videos. By studying it by doing it you will get to understand when and where they put emphasis on words and can start to mimic that pattern when you speak.
What can you do to increase situational awareness and being aware of your surroundings? Cognitive behaviour therapy with a pro might help you the most, but on your own you can do things like sit at a public place and people watch. Get used to considering what people around you are doing and try to figure out why. Doesn't matter if you're wrong, they're strangers so you'll never know for real, but make up your own plausible reasons based on what they're doing. For example, a lady walks past you at a very quick pace - perhaps she is late for a meeting. She is also holding a coffee - perhaps she overslept and is now both tired and late, and grabbed a quick coffee to perch her up before hurrying off to work. Train yourself to make little observations like that and eventually they'll come more naturally as you train yourself to observe people and consider their actions. Doesn't matter if they're correct observations or not, as long as they seem plausible to you. If you feel comfortable doing so you could tell a friend or family member to come with you to help you work on it, most people seem to enjoy some people watching and are happy to help and "gossip" about people around them.
No. 1617215
>>1617132thank you for the advice
nonny, I commented that after I got a warning at my job for complaints of me not being cheerful enough from customers. I got way more emotional than I should’ve because it felt like an issue with me as a person more than an issue with my job performance. But you’re right, I really just need to put more effort into masking and learning how to mask properly.
No. 1618423
>>1613218well since you mentioned it, how much does the "effect" of the weed last on you? I've read it last for a few hours but I'm willing to try to see if I can be different when I'm outside.
I don't know if this happens to everybody but I feel like I'm not in control of myself or what I say when I'm interacting with people.I laugh, I smile, and do things automatically, and inside I'm thinking "I'm not like this, why I'm I behaving this way? This is not me"
but I don't know how to change that.
No. 1618426
>>1618423Nobody behaves "like themselves" around other people. It is
instinctual to change your behaviour when not alone.
Don't do drugs.
No. 1620966
>>1620166>what are signs someone is NOT autistic?>>1620527>>1620620>Making tiktoks about their stims and how it's ~cute~>anyone who posts on tiktok or makes videos on youtube and claims to have it.I agree with these 2, with a VERY occasional exception for youtubers. I used to watch a girl called Anja Melissa (she sadly removed them all recently) who made realistic videos about aspergers and autism and the first good sign was that she used the label aspergers. I actually count that as a red flag - no real autist/sperg is offended by the term aspergers, it's always just been the chronically online fakers who took offense.
So to list all red flags I can think of right now:
>thinking aspergers is a bad term>having social media featuring their supposed autism>posting their "stims" online>calling themselves a spokesperson of autism>their "special interest" list is suspiciously long and contains things they seemingly rarely even engage with>magically getting autistic traits overnight the second they get a diagnosis/self-diagnosis a la simplykenna/cozykitsune>"I'm autistic but don't really need any support" sorry to certain nonas kek>having a long list of other mental conditions and illnesses>not acting autistic at all, none of us can mask THAT well and we know it>being offended if someone thinks they're not autistic>they agree with ALL typical "correct" autism opinions online without failI need to talk more about the last point because that is SUCH a red flag to me! In real life the autists I know all have pretty strong opinions and aren't afraid to be accidentally controversial, even the softest most doormat people pleasing autistic girls I've known have had this trait. And we typically don't infight about it either because we sort of lack the social awareness to think disagreement means we are no longer on good terms (which is how people act online). We are stubborn and think what we think, and it doesn't ever 100% line up with what you're "supposed" to think. For example I mean things like "aspergers is a nazi term", "only an autist can play autistic acting roles", "self-diagnosis is good and
valid", "troons and gender are real", "autism speaks are bad", "ABA therapy is always bad", "wanting to erase autism is evil" etc. It seems every faker online agrees with all those points because they've seen on social media that those are the correct opinions to have. But irl most of the autists I know are against several or most of them and will challenge the narrative of the claims.
No. 1620987
>>1620966>>posting their "stims" onlineI don't notice when I stim it's just something I do unintentionally. I'm a little suspicious of people who sets a camera up, wait til the feel the need to stim, and then record themselves stimming. I also don't get people who watch stim videos what do they they out of it? I know visual stim is a thing but personally for me it's more about things thats cordniated and feels "satisfying" to look at. Hand flips and chewing stuff looks very chaotic and while I do both things when I stim I can't understand the appeal of looking at others do it
>their "special interest" list is suspiciously long and contains things they seemingly rarely even engage withI think it's a red flag when you meet someone who puts too much empathis on special interests and hyperfixation. All the autists I know irl rarely talk about those symptoms (and tbh I don't even know what the difference is between them). When we talk about autism we usually talk about how it affects our social lives, how it makes it hard for us to understand instructions, or how it can make us being too obsessive with following instructions too a tee where we end up doing something wrong because we took it to literally, how upset we get when our routines are broken or our enverement change, etc. we never define ourself after our special interest.
Much like stimming, special interest is a symptom I don't even notice. Lack of self awareness is a part of autism and it usually plays into my interests as well. One time I spend one whole hour just talking uninterrupted about a play I like and all the different actors who has been in it and how it has affected their careers, and also talk about the costumes and how they have changed over the years. It was only when my dad asked me "how do you know all this stuff" I realised that the play might be a special interest.
My point is if you meet someone who says "my special interest is trains" and someone who unpromptely starts talking about trains with so much enthusiasm that they lose self awareness then it's pretty easy to figure who has autism.
No. 1621014
>>1620966I agree with your list. Another thing I’d add is just having a track record for being an attention seeker or trend-hopper. I know a girl who is well known for histrionics, like literally has posted pics of herself crying while naked on Facebook, on and off again anachan, I could go on but you get the picture. She recently self diagnosed and has been posting about it in a really annoying like wannabe edgy/funny way. Sometimes the things she does are so obviously annoying that it does seem a bit autistic, but it’s really a lack of social awareness and that’s it. She even posted that she put in her tinder bio that she wants to date an autistic man. Like?? I wanted to dm her and be like no babe you don’t want that and you also don’t want to advertise that you’re autistic on tinder knowing men will try to take advantage of that (if you actually were autistic). I think people like this do have mental issues like narcissism or bpd but it really doesn’t seem like autism.
Also your last paragraph is every “autist” on Reddit hehe. They all feel sooo strongly about AutismSpeaks and parrot the same shit over and over. I have been saying we need more gatekeeping kek
No. 1621063
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Anyone else feel like that they become less effected by their autism as time goes on? I was diagnosed as a kid and I still stim, sometimes speak too loudly, admittedly struggle a little in maintaining friendships and pace around my house talking to myself, but aside from that I don’t think my autism ‘disables’ me or makes things more difficult. Though it’s difficult to gauge if some of this stuff is due to autism since I don’t really have any other reference, so it’s possible that it’s still effecting me in other ways without me knowing that there’s a relationship between the two.
When I read about autistic people talking about certain symptoms like struggle to follow non-direct instructions, talking about their ‘special interest’ etc, it’s what I was like when I was a kid, but I don’t think I struggle with those things anymore, at least not as much
No. 1621078
>>1620987>I think it's a red flag when you meet someone who puts too much empathis on special interests and hyperfixation. All the autists I know irl rarely talk about those symptoms (and tbh I don't even know what the difference is between them).This. Listing your special interests on social media always felt so performative to me, but even moreso with the new autism activist types. Their special interests always sound like the blandest things someone would make up when trying really hard to come up with a special interest, like "putting on make-up" or "movies" and they don't seem too invested in them, either, like they say their special interest is movies but then they watch like one movie a month and never talk about anything related to film. As if normies don't have hobbies at all.
Also it seems like such a kid thing to call it a special interest, because doesn't everyone have things they're passionate about? What used to be called my special interest actually became my career, and to call it a special interest would be so infantilizing, like imagine going to a conference and announcing to my colleagues that this is my special interest kek
No. 1621258
>>1620987>One time I spend one whole hour just talking uninterrupted about a play I like and all the different actors who has been in it and how it has affected their careers, and also talk about the costumes and how they have changed over the yearsNona this sounds fun, i'd listen to you sperg about plays any day
>My point is if you meet someone who says "my special interest is trains" and someone who unpromptely starts talking about trains with so much enthusiasm that they lose self awareness then it's pretty easy to figure who has autism.Well put, I see exactly this on the internet a lot. Obviously I can't know their every thought during a given day and only know what they do post, but you have people like pixilocks who says her special intrests are a LONG list of different things she likes, some of which she never even talks about or brings up. I'm sure she does like those things but they're literally just her interests and it's clear she doesn't understand the autistic meaning of a special interest or hyperfixation.
>>1620966>having social media featuring their supposed autismOne thing I just thought of is that a lot of my autist friends simply do not use social media at all. Several didn't even care to get smartphones until their family literally forced them to a year or two ago (I even remember being really sceptic about getting one myself as a teen and still wish my phone was less advanced), they have so little interest in social communication that they barely remember to carry a phone. So I see it as a "green flag" for autism when an autist is inept when it comes to social media or having an interest in it kek
No. 1621263
>>1621014>Another thing I’d add is just having a track record for being an attention seeker or trend-hopper.It's so odd to me that this point is overlooked so often when it comes to internet "disorders" in general. If even us socially retarded autists can tell they're just trenders jumping from one thing to the next and collecting lables like they were pokemon then why can't normal people?
A funny thing I've noticed is that like 50% of autistic females have pokemon as a genuine special interest. Myself included lmao
Well, I do run in those circles so of course I would find more fellow pokemon-autists. But still! There are SO many of us!
No. 1621508
>>1620966This is a nice list! I really couldn't think of a single thing to add, maybe like the fact that they infantilize themselves.
>>1621488It definitely seems like bpd chans desperately clamour for an excuse for their awful behaviour.
>>1620196Nta, but it can be confused by normies if the sociopathic individual makes attempts to correct their own behaviour. The difference is that an autist's may disregard or misunderstands other people's feelings on accident, whilst a sociopath knows how people feel, but they just don't care or react.
No. 1621555
>>1621263I had a friend who was a huge trend follower on social media, totally swayed by whatever algorithm was thrown at her from each website she used the most at the time. By the time of her unfortunate death from jumping on the Munchausen's train, she claimed she was autistic, ADHD, anorexic, nonbinary, a spoonie, and had some rare immune disorder.
I remember a lot of this started on Tumblr, then jumped to Reddit, Vine, Instagram, Twitter, and then ultimately Facebook.
She was nowhere near what someone would call autistic. There was no one thing she hyperfocus on, it was all just trends she would go to extremes for.
No. 1621577
>>1621258>literally forced to get a phoneI didn't realize this was a thing. It frustrates everyone around me that I constantly just forget my phone exists, kek. I hate having to use it so much.
I actually wanted to bring up if any other autists in this thread have trouble with muteness? I'm always hearing that other autists can go on and on about certain topics they love, but I'm honestly so bad at talking that I can't even do that. I don't know how to explain it, but it's like the words won't come out of my mouth or my mind goes blank after I say a sentence or two. I'm much better at speaking through text, but everyone around me hates it. Depressing.
No. 1622063
>>1620966>"I'm autistic but don't really need any support"This probably referred to one of my earlier posts
>>1614115I don't disagree with your post, but I'm only writing this more as a vent about this generation and their idea that everyone should get "help" for their mental problems, despite the regular abuses that disabled people/people who aren't considered "normal" face because stuff like that will go onto your record and give society a reason not to treat you as a fully grown adult. As my parent comes from the Third World, I grew up with a negative perception of autism/mental health, so it's not like something I'd be proud of saying to people. I do think I need "support", but not enough to risk losing any of my rights because of a label (and I hate talking about my emotions because it grosses me out). I don't want to lose out on a position someplace important because they think I'm a liability. I'm not bashing my head against the wall so hard that my retinae have detached completely, so I think I'll be okay without help. I only believe it's autism because there is a precedent in my immediate family and in my own medical records, that I have virtually every "symptom", and because I am female it might be less obvious than in my male relatives. If anything
and no offense to anyone I would much rather have social anxiety/agoraphobia or whatever than to be called an autist (the next closest thing to being called retarded), and I've denied it much longer than I have accepted it as a possibility/probability. There's no advantage to being an autistic adult—other than as a way to make money if you're a grifting "e-celeb" faker—or having inordinate knowledge about boats/naval architecture
Sorry if I come off defensive or if this came out really long, y'all can tell me if you feel I'm not autistic, I just don't want to be lumped in with a bunch of first world TikTok dangerhairs who just collect labels because they're ashamed of being white/straight/[insert here]
No. 1622116
>>1622063>this generation and their idea that everyone should get "help" for their mental problems, despite the regular abuses that disabled people/people who aren't considered "normal" face because stuff like that will go onto your record and give society a reason not to treat you as a fully grown adult.>I do think I need "support", but not enough to risk losing any of my rights because of a label >>1614115>I don't believe I need any accommodations for my condition, the diagnosis would be more so for my own knowledge.>>1614423>I'm just a curious type of person who likes to know the "why" behind everything.So to summarize, you went from thinking you didn't need any accommodations to now thinking you need it but it isn't worth it because you'd get a permanent label. I'm what I consider to be on the side of the most high-functioning kind of autist and I still can't afford to not have any accommodations or my life quality would suffer, and greatly so. Yet I'm so high-functioning that I would accept it if the diagnosis was redefined to kick me out of the label and strip me of my support. I'd suffer for it, but autism is defined as a certain level of severity of symptoms for it to be considered autism (like a fat person isn't automatically obese, but an obese person will always be fat. Autistic traits don't mean it's autism, but autists will always have autistic traits). My parents both have autistic traits which genetically literally lead to obvious diagnose-able autism in their children, and thus IS autism in it's purest hereditary form, but neither of them ARE autistic. Despite having the literal genes for it and light traits caused by it.
>Sorry if I come off defensive or if this came out really long, y'all can tell me if you feel I'm not autistic, I just don't want to be lumped in with a bunch of first world TikTok dangerhairs who just collect labels because they're ashamed of being white/straight/[insert here]I'm not trying to say you are like them at all nona. I think you have genuine concerns about yourself and your own well-being. But if you do not need help and can afford to be without it you may not be on the spectrum, but outside it.
No. 1622232
>>1622116This is probably very long but you had many interesting points that I wanted to address. Some of what I have written is new info, but I am trying to keep at a distance.
>you went from thinking you didn't need any accommodations to now thinking you need it but it isn't worth it because you'd get a permanent label.No, this was not at all my thought process, I just will not write down every bit and detail of my machinations on this website.
>I consider to be on the side of the most high-functioning kind of autist and I still can't afford to not have any accommodations or my life quality would suffer, and greatly so.You and I are two different people. Again, my parent comes from the Third World, so it may be that I am biased to hardship. I don't use the word "suffering" or any other emotional descriptor because I do not like to reveal nor describe my emotions, so you'll never read anything from me which states that I am suffering. As a compromise, I
do maintain that I think my condition complicates aspects of my life and career. But I am reluctant to receive support from outside my family, so generally I am not looking for it.
>like a fat person isn't automatically obese, but an obese person will always be fatThis is not a good analogy, as there is no clinical definition for what a "fat" person is. By the most conventional definition, a fat person is synonymous with a clinically obese person (it's not a high threshold to surpass). "Autistic traits", meanwhile, have a more robust (if not quite definite, given the nature of human behavior) meaning.
BTW this didn't really have anything to do with the convo, I was compelled to address this part as a logical fallacy
>My parents both have autistic traitsAs do my own.
>if you do not need help and can afford to be without it you may not be on the spectrum, but outside it.It's not so black-and-white, hence why it is called a spectrum. Someone eschewing healthcare does not preclude them from needing it. A very close relative of mine has diagnosed autism and does not receive any treatment for it. They now work as a medical professional and earn about six figures. Plenty of people with autism are in graduate studies or work within the professional realm and do not actively engage with therapy (their experiences do not preclude still the legal and social prejudices with which autists are burdened). Thousands of women and ethnic minorities are undiagnosed autists because doctors could not/cannot shed their subconscious biases of what it means to be autistic (they think it's just for white boys), are they not autistic because some of them may not be receiving support for a condition which they do not know that they have? On the other hand, if an autistic someone who
has received treatment felt traumatized by their experience, does their later condition of refusing further treatment disqualify them from being on the spectrum (i.e., were they misdiagnosed)?
I am endeavoring to remain brief and scant of too many details (hence
relative and absence of gendered pronouns, among other things), but I didn't just decide one day that I might be autistic instead of socially inept; it came out of a medical precedent of which I was unaware until very recently—at which point I started putting things together about my own idiosyncrasies from my early childhood through the present, my close relatives, and so forth. At length, it's not like anyone here knows me, so it would be fruitless to discuss whether or not I (personally) am autistic (the initial request was for experiences with private clinicians from whom to receive a diagnosis)—but many of these generalizations are much more nuanced, in reality. I do not take it as an affront, but it's just a misconception that all autistic people "do this or do that".
No. 1622298
if you saw me delete and repost this 30 times no you didnt>>1622232Samefag. I will note that I initially said I didn't think I needed treatment but wrote
>Someone eschewing healthcare does not preclude them from needing itI was speaking in a more abstract (general) sense but I think the implication that it applies to me is still there. To clear this up, I don't
believe that I need help, as I am high functioning, but at the same time if "support" and "accommodations" would make my life a lot better, then I possibly do "need" them. But if getting "support" means that I have my rights taken away, then I would rather endure a little bit of "suffering" in order to keep them. A life without liberty is far worse than that of "suffering" in silence. As long as I'm not head banging myself into a TBI, I think I'm good. Those kinds of people do actually need the label kek
No. 1622350
>>1622298I saw it keknta but if you DO have autism, the private diagnosis route is a good idea since it won't go on records (if you really want to be sure) and it means that you can get better care in therapy. I went with a private doc because of really bad experiences with public healthcare and I also didn't want it on records because of insurance. And in a way I wish I knew of this earlier, because I feel like my previous counseling sessions would've gone so much better if they knew I was possibly a sperg. I remember talking about how I wasn't normal and I didn't feel 'normal', how I never felt 'normal' and how much I wanted to be 'normal' and the therapist just spewed the "everyone is different" jargon and I ultimately didn't feel helped at all and eventually quit. And in a way, unlike some nonas saying that a proper diagnosis is useless, I'm in a country that treats mental health like shit and imagine rolling up to a therapist and saying "I am self diagnosed with autism" and expect to be taken super seriously especially with all the tiktok self diagnosed autism/adhd teens out there lmao
Speaking of which I'm this anon
>>1609928 with a small update, doc said seems pretty set that I'm on the spectrum, but she needs time to compile the full report. I was pretty surprised when she told me at the end of the session because I felt neurotypical as fuck when she did some tests or talked to me like:
>I pointed out the facial expressions of the animal characters when she asked me to read a picture book>I used gestures while explaining how to use an imaginary product>I managed to tell a story with a bunch of toys (although after a lot of struggling), but wasn't really imaginative with them (like treating a car as a car, not anything else)She made a pretty big deal about pointing out facial expressions in that book and that I could explain my emotions well so I was kind of under the impression that I was giving pretty neurotypical answers? She started writing down stuff pretty aggressively when I answered "What does feeling happy feel like?" with "How happy are we talking about?". I hope she'll explain what she saw in me in the report, I'm so goddamn lost
No. 1622652
>>1622350That's good to hear about your experiences. What was the cost for your evaluation? I think it might differ by region and country.
And does therapy help you now (if you're still in it)?
No. 1623533
Do autists struggle with cause and effect in general, and not just in social situations? Like reading behind the lines on how objects and tasks work? Bc my mom is the most obvious autist I know, I have no idea how she hasnt been diagnosed. And she doesnt understand that at all. Like she'll clean up something gross, then use that same cloth and water to clean the rest of the house. She doesnt understand that whatever gross thing is now mixed into the bucket, that isnt not magically clean now. Or doing landry and shoving it to the brim so the water doesnt even fully submerge it, bc its effective to do it all at once, not undertstanding the nuances behind that clothing+washing machince=/=clean clothing. Or when cooking, not understanding that things has to bee cooked through, bc she did cook it, the food was in the pan so it should be cooked….while not cooking it though.
I see it with friends who are autistic too. Down to the exact same things, like they have an inability to read behind the lines when doing tasks. So I was wondering if thats an overlooked symptom of autism? Bc its easy for people to see the social aspect, but one has to live pretty closely with an autist to see the other sides.
Also not meaning any offence, I think I have the tism too. Almost guaranteed with a mom that autistic. But I dont struggle with reading between the lines, and I've not seen anything info on this before, so Im just curios.
No. 1623655
>>1612079The interview was to see if I was a good candidate for a particular type of therapy. These doctors are connected to my psychiatric team (who I have a very long history with) and I know they will have discussed me with my psychiatrist before and looked at my notes. So I don't believe they will say something like that so flippantly. It might not actually be flippant to them and it could be the case that my autism diagnosis was queried and revoked years ago and I just don't know about that. That's a complete tinfoil though.
I have no idea how much of my interactions are learned. I know when I was a child/teenager I had no social skills and was extremely awkward but that also seems not so unusual for that age. But I could barely speak until I was finished being a teenager. I also was bullied very heavily at this time including by "friends" who would bully me under the guise of friendship and I was not able to recognize what that was until I was way older. I wasn't able to make actual friends until I was like 20 and it was with other "weird" people. But a lot of how I act around others seems like it comes very naturally to me, things like reciprocal smiling, catching someone's eye at the right time, sensing when someone is uncomfortable, intuitively knowing how someone else is feeling without them verbally expressing it. But even though this feels natural it does take a lot of energy and any social interaction always feels terrible to me. I guess my interactions with others have been somewhat limited though so maybe it's easy for me to just say this stuff. But definitely it has been said to me a lot that I'm warm and likeable and for example when I was inpatient in hospital for a long time I made a lot of friends to the point where the nurses said it was unusual and very nice to see. I know in deeper relationships when others have done something I didn't expect/prepare for like express a strong emotion (e.g. start crying) I really lose my mind and dissociate/can't speak for some time. I plan all social interactions and I wouldn't know how to act if it went off-script, although I'm confident that I would act in a completely socially acceptable way in any unpredicted situation (as long as it wasn't involving strong emotions). Again it seems opposite to autism in that I am completely comfortable with something like small talk but if I had to talk about something deep or that was important to me I would freak out.
>>1612153I definitely wasn't assessed for trauma at the time of my diagnosis. My mother was present but it was more for questions about how I acted as a child with regard to stimming, eating issues, social issues and so on. Which of course I would score autistic based on those.
>>1612247Thank you so much nona. I really appreciate the long answer.
>GeneticsThere seems to be a genetic link as my father (undiagnosed) 100% is autistic and his father before him. But I wonder is it possible to absorb these traits through upbringing without having them developmentally. My mother's side doesn't have autism.
>ADHD/stimmingI do have (diagnosed) ADHD but like I'm not even sure if that's real either. I think it could be more like it seems I have it due to dissociation and various trauma things. I definitely don't have the hyperactive type. I stim like crazy though and often in "stereotypical" autistic ways (e.g. hand flapping) and I have done this ever since I remember and all the time. I don't think I've ever spent less than an hour a day on just stimming.
>Special interestMy main special interest is something from around age 7 that I will normally take part in for at least a few hours a day, maybe 5 hours is average. I feel basically suicidal if I don't do this every day but honestly I wouldn't say it brings me joy? I can't really imagine anything bringing me joy, kek. It's just something I have to do, I think it's important and I'm getting better at it. But I don't know if it's out of love for the thing itself. However my emotions are very cut off from me so maybe it's unconscious. I feel like it must be a lot more important to me than I'm aware of so I just keep going. Something I think might be important is that I know it's common with autism but I don't think I can imagine having a special interest that is something like a character from a media or something like that, for me it's more like an area of study. I have never been able to engage with media in that way and I don't normally read/watch tv/play games/etc and I don't really have any imagination in that way whereas this seems an important part of life to many autistic people.
>OverallI really appreciate your opinion and I think it is very valuable for me. I have always thought of myself as possibly not autistic but I suppose it's weird to have a doctor mildly confirm that. Since I don't like to share much about myself normally it feels like a kind of shield to say I am autistic and that's where my issues come from, plus I like to have an explanation that makes sense to me and other people. So maybe I am just clinging to it. Trauma is a lot more difficult to explain and people don't understand it at all. Another thing is that for around ten years I have had a social worker through a charity for autistic people, she is extremely insistent that I have autism any time I talk to her about this. But that's just one person, and she hasn't worked with as many people with complicated trauma like my psychiatrist would have. Plus I think if you meet and get to know someone in a particular context (they're your autistic client) that can influence how you see them. I did notice that when I was trying to find professional help and went to several different types of professionals, they always tended to lean towards my issues being whatever the particular issue they specialized in was, kek. So I am probably just kind of malleable/suggestible or maybe that is how the medical industry works.
After reading over your posts and mine I think I can conclude I probably don't have autism since the social stuff seems so important and I really don't think I have notable social deficits besides what could reasonably occur from anxiety and trauma. Realistically a lot of my autistic traits could be from my autistic parenting. Or maybe I have very high functioning autism which is clearly not the core of my issues and I won't focus on it for now. I do think that could also explain why I was so terribly affected by and vulnerable to experiencing trauma. Sorry for shitting your thread but maybe this can be interesting or relatable to someone else. Thanks so much for all your help.
No. 1625111
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Being openly autistic means dealing with a huge amount of stigma, but it also has certain advantages at the cost being treated quite poorly.
One of the reasons I do it, is normalfags will assume I'm naive and easy to manipulate. But trolling/deception is an autistic special interest of mine, I've been trolling since I was 12, was part of Anonymous during the 2000s, participated in meme wars during the 2010s, and have a degree in a communications-related field. When people immediately assume I'm an easy mark because I'm autistic, they're putting themselves at a disadvantage.
Because far from being easy to influence, I am actually an uncommonly experienced, knowledgeable, and skilled troll.
No. 1625122
>>1623583Well I didnt write that my mom cant have eye contact, she cant even pretend bc she cant look at the person at all. She also doesn't get sarcasm/irony, only talks in monologues, cant read other people, has frequent meltdowns if things arent exactly how she likes it, rocks back and fourth etc. Still think she doesnt have the tism?
Like that was not an example of why my mom has obvious autism, its just something I've notices she and a lot of my autistic friends do. Also since they are so set in routine, they get meltdowns of someone tries to even just explain the correct way of doing things. Havent seen any NT get than when corrected in that way
No. 1625497
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>>1625491I just kinda never got over my
toxic friendships and never got too close to anyone again.
No. 1626002
>>1625491I was in a few, but mainly one,
toxic friendships most of my life. The kind where she wouldn't have been my friend if we hadn't just happened to know each other as kids because teen and adult me would never have been cool enough for her to even look at.
I didn't realize until she moved away how I was constantly on edge about her suddenly calling me and forcing me to do things I didn't want to. The more time went on the better I felt, it's been a few years now and I feel free for the first time in my life. I did feel very guilty afterwards, because she was my "friend" so any bad thoughts I had about her made me a bad friend and person. But the more I talked to new friends about her the more I could see their reactions and even see it from another perspective. They were in agreement that she was
toxic and a bad friend and it wasn't my fault she acted like that.
I always tried to keep my distance from her but I was a doormat she bossed around so not until she moved away did I finally get free, I didn't manage to get out on my own. I guess me moving away would also have helped.
No. 1626038
>>1625491I just ended up biting the bullet and tried making new friends anyways despite my trust issues. I recommend trying to have some leverage, only reveal embarrassing shit when they reveal theirs and only reveal personal stuff after knowing them better (they reveal theirs). It makes me feel better when those "oh god are they actually just collecting info to make fun of me" thoughts come in.
Also remember if you're the one making effort to see them always and they never make an effort to see you, it's a warning sign, remember to be lazy sometimes and that in a friendship they got to put some effort too.
No. 1626272
>>1626038This is what I think saved me from my last
toxic friendgroup, because they had overshared so much and I had so much dirt on them that when I left they didn't really try to do anything to me. To be honest I wouldn't know what to do with blackmail anyway because I hate drama and I hate being mean. I don't practice the art of bullying others so I'm bad at it kek. Luckily they didn't know that.
>>1625494>>1625497>>1626002I'm so sorry this has happened to all of us. I want all my autist nonnies to have nice people in their lives. Wish we had a group that gatekept males and non-spergs.
No. 1627594
>>1622476in my country you are required to take 30 hours of lessons but i was still super stressed out after that so i had like 60 before i felt like i could try the exam, took me 5 tries to pass it anyway, i'm still very anxious when driving but it's nothing like the stress i felt at first, i thought i would just give up and wouldn't be able to do it but after so many hours it wasn't as bad, 2 hours is nothing so there is no reason to give up yet
nonnie. Make sure you get a good calm instructor.
No. 1631533
>>1631298In a weird way I don't mind getting looks from workers because they unknowingly keep me safe from others by keeping an eye on me. Ain't no one gonna assault me when staff is watching me kek
>I was at a grocery store and some dude kept following me around. It was creepy.I haven't tried this myself but I've read about social interactions and I would try something like this if it was me: if it was a staff member you could think of something you want that you don't know where it is (or pretend not to know) so you have a reason to ask them something. So you can go up to them like "excuse me where do you have tomato paste(random item example)?" and after they reply/show you where then make sure to say thank you properly and maybe throw in a line like "you guys are always so helpful at this store!" which will make them feel good and like you're a nice person who can be trusted. Then try to remember to smile at them if you come back to the store and you see them, as if to say "I remember you, you helped me last time".
No. 1631566
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This is embarrassing because its more on the tard side of the spectrum but does anyone else have a problem with what i guess would be called pain seeking stimming? I'm not diagnosed but that's what my friend who is diagnosed told me it was called when i told her about it. Ever since i can remember i would hit myself in the head when i got upset or overwhelmed, and while obviously my self control increased as i grew up i still sometimes end up with bruises on the back of my head. I've tried the acupressure rings and holding ice and they mostly work but there are times i either forget to use them or they aren't available. I feel really alone and humiliated being an adult with a full time job and still struggling with this because all the resources assume the autist in question is also an intellectually disabled child.
No. 1631800
I am sick and tired of the internet demedicalising autism and turning it into uwu quirky different way of thinking, silly stims and obsessive silly interests uwu.
Secondly, why is it ableist to acknowledge that autists can be annoying and problematic with their behaviours? Autists can be blind to or struggle with social or emotional cues, while struggling with emotional regulation and self-perception themselves, and having highly obsessive interests. Yes we can't help it a lot of the time, but it seems to be perceived as ableist to say it out loud, or say that it very much does impact our relationships and communication with others.
Blah blah not all autists are like this blah blah I'm making a harmful generalisation and whatever, but many of these are literally in diagnostic criteria.
Is it really "ableist" to admit that most people would find me super annoying and weird if I started sperging out about some new special interest or lore behind some series I hyperfixated on? Is it really "ableist" to say that making noises or moving my body (stims) in a designated quiet setting is disruptive?
It also seems to be perceived as ableist if you offer them help for this, like just because we can't help it doesn't mean those things don't impact our friendships, relationships, social functioning, etc. It isn't fun being unable to read others, being unaware of their needs, but expecting them to cater to you and still be friends with you.
That's also why I don't get the hate on ABA therapy; if it openly abuses the child, is too demanding to their learning pace, or physically punishes them for more natural things like stims then that should absolutely be condemned, but most of what I've seen on it is that it teaches them skills to function and self-regulate in a neurotypical society. What is wrong or ableist about this?
If ABA therapy didn't exist, I wouldn't be able to talk and would be a retarded womanchild living off her pensioner parents as a grown adult, and the internet will call me internally ableist or whatever buzzword for it.
Why is it encouraged for neurodivergents to stay blind to cues and be socially inept and excuse all the times they emotionally hurt people or do something wrong, just because they may not have the full intention? Arguably, wouldn't this be ableist?
No. 1634441
I'm going to ramble for a bit nonas but I'd love to hear your thoughts on it.
I still feel like there's something profoundly differrent about aspergers and "classic" autism but I'm not educated enough to know exactly what.
For one thing they say aspergers/autism is hereditary and every aspie/high functioning autist whose family I've met has had at least one other family member who seems very aspergery as well. But for the low-functioning autists I've met neither parent has seemed like they're on the spectrum, they all have seemed very normal. Of course this is fully anecdotal, but it's still made me wonder about the differences. Down's syndrome, among other genetic disorders, is typically not hereditary, and I've started to wonder if maybe classic autism isn't either but the blurred line of what autism is and aspergers (and adhd) being called autism now may have overcomplicated it all and mixed different conditions together.
In a way I just don't buy that "it's a spectrum". In my opinion the disorder was made into an "identity" online, as a part of subculture, and that made people want to fit into it to be part of a group. Experts in the last 20-30 years have made the mistake of listening to the emotions of the group they're studying and ignoring facts. We see the same pattern in the trans movement where experts are now advocating for the literal mutilation of healthy children and teens just because "they want it, and they want it now". And most of those children aren't even suffering from gender dysphoria, just like how I strongly suspect the autists that have been listened to weren't even autistic to begin with.
Currently I feel like there should at the very least be more sub-categories of autism. There are currently different diagnoses for OCD and ADHD but they're creeping closer to being called just "autism" every year it seems. Some aspies/autists biggest struggle is sensory issues. For some it's almost purely social issues. How do we know the cause is REALLY the same thing? Why don't we separate them from each other and treat them as separate issues?
When I see a low functioning autist I can't really relate (and not just because I'm a sociopathic sperg kek), not even in a "I do that too, just on a lower level" way. I just do not function like them at all. I also can't relate to specific ADHD traits, because I simply do not have them either. Yet I look at other females with aspergers and we all act very similar and I can relate a lot.
No. 1634449
>>1634441I agree, merging the aspergers and autism diagnosis was a mistake and only made it harder for each group to get the help they need. Autists have help took away because "autism is a gift" or "it is merely a different way of thinking" meanwhile aspergers have a hard time getting a diagnosis for "autism" since aspergers isn't a diagnosis anymore and since "it isn't bad enough" they can't get any help at all.
I tried getting a diagnosis in my country but since it was lazily changed to comply with the new meta they just took out the aspergers diagnosis. I can't get any help or use any resources or get help from organizations that would be available to me just 10 years ago. I went to multiple doctors and they straight up told me "we know you have it but we can't officially diagnose you with it since you aren't in danger to yourself or anyone around you and are over 18". My dad got a diagnosis before the switch but can't use any resources since "aspergers isn't a thing anymore" and he doesn't have "autism" on paper.
However if I complain about this in other places online I get called a nazi because of the name "aspergers" and also dumb shit about everyone having autism since it's a spectrum.
I wish the merge never happened.
No. 1634579
>>1634441>the disorder was made into an "identity" online, as a part of subculture, and that made people want to fit into it to be part of a group. I'm not sure what you mean by this. Are you saying that people with aspergers and autism fakers created a subculture online where they revolved their whole personality on autism (but only the quiry parts of autism not the hardship) which led to a social pressure of merging the diagnosis?
I agree with everything you said btw.
>>1634449fuck that sucks I'm sorry you have to deal with that. Merging the diagnosis benefits no one and now both groups struggles. The merge hasn't happened in my country yet but american idpol is starting to take over so I dread it's only a matter of time. I'm not active in any aspergers community but I sometime lurk on aspergers and autism advocacy groups from my country and so far none of them has suggested a merger so that's good
>I get called a nazi because of the name "aspergers" I hate this so much. Yes the name is unfortunate but most people haven't even heard about him yet they get accused for being nazi sympathisers for calling the disorder aspergers. Someone online told me once I should stop saying aspergers but it's literally my diagnosis. It's what my medical journal says what else am I suppose to say? If I seek accommodation for autism I'm not gonna get it because that's not my diagnosis
No. 1634753
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Has anyone read Strong Female Character by Fern Brady? She's a sperg too and she's so fucking funny
No. 1634779
>>1634441> I've started to wonder if maybe classic autism isn't either but the blurred line of what autism is and aspergers (and adhd) being called autism now may have overcomplicated it all and mixed different conditions togetherThis is a fascinating thought nonna, if anyone knows more about it please respond. From what I've looked up, classic (or low functioning) autism is different from aspergers in terms of gray matter volume in the brain at different parts. But both aspergers and autism have volume increases in clusters in the ventral temporal lobe of the left hemisphere. So, that's one aspect where it's 'linked'. Though I admit I was looking at older scientific papers from 2011 since the scientific community doesn't use the term aspergers anymore (see:
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3201995/ and the researchers themselves admit limitations in their study). But as for why both parents can be NT while the kid is severely autistic, it has to do with how parents, despite not having anything themselves, may carry certain genetic variants that increases the chances of their child developing neurodevelopmental disorders. (See:
https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/30258228/ Just an abstract so don't take it as gospel) Almost 7000 children with severe neurodevelopmental disorders like intellectual disability, autism and birth defects were looked at. Usually these disorders are caused by single gene mutations but researchers found that about 8% of the risk of the disorders in this group was actually due to common genetic variants (small normal differences in DNA that many people in the population share). Honestly I suck at reading research papers and science behind autism is pretty everywhere and not great so take everything I say with a grain of salt. I'd love to see more stats and info about the parents genes of spergs versus parents of classic autists, or just in general what the fuck is going on. I hope one day some sperg finally figures it out.
I really really dislike how it's all a spectrum now and the whole identity factor. The whole deal about fitting into a group sounds way more NT than spergy but maybe that's just me lol
> When I see a low functioning autist I can't really relate (and not just because I'm a sociopathic sperg kek), not even in a "I do that too, just on a lower level" way.Same, but I could see that for sensory issues and being overwhelmed or the tics or stimming but the social aspect? Like, they don't even speak much. How could you know that's the same thing? They straight up have limited social abilities, not that they can't understand what the other person is feeling immediately or taking things literally.
No. 1634852
>>1634779Nta but I believe adhd/autism/aspergers are all various over activation of regions in the brain associated with pattern recognition (except adhd, I believe that is underfunctioning pattern recognition i.e. unable to predict time passing or notice it passing etc). More severe autism you get rhythmic hand flapping, rocking, etc usually in response to sensory overload….sensory overload imo is something going on in the autistic brain where it laser focuses on whatever the stimuli, example- a low murmur of voices at a busy restaraunt, and their brain being hardwired to pick up on the pattern much stronger than an nt person, in order to understand it/find meaning in it…not being able to do so results in panic and creation of their own stimuli in which they understand and can predict (repeating noises, tapping, flapping etc depending on the person afflicted). Pattern recognition was vital to our evolution, so we know when a poison berry is mimicking a non poison one, seeing edges and outlines clearer and clearer, and to notice when its time to plant a certain crop. I think most of the time there is balance within the brain where patterns are picked up and labelled, example the features of your moms face get filed away as "mom" when you learn to recognize her, but maybe some autistic people cannot see a sea of faces and recognize that as "crowd" and only have the brain juice to assign specifics a meaning or definition so they panic or get anxious. I think that is a spectrum, the severity and locality of how and where the pattern recognition bits got wonky
No. 1634927
I'm so tired of being a stupid sperg, and I just knew about this 6 months ago.
I don't like going out and whenever I have to I go through a phase of intense sadness and fatigue (I think?) because I dont really want to go but I force myself to do it, and I feel like that until I get home and get some 'alone with headphones' time.
I told my therapist about this and he just told me that if I don't want to go out, I shouldn't, but the thing is… I never want to go out. I used to work in a tattoo shop but since 2020 I lost the job and work as a digital artist, so I dont really need to get out to work.
I force myself because I feel like my life is going to be inside my home all the time, I see people my age going to parties, having friends, studying and stuff and I can't help but think that I'm failing at doing what I'm supposed to do at 24 years old, but like I said, I don't want to do those things.
So I'm in a constant loop. Does anybody else feel like this?
No. 1634988
>>1634927I'm exactly the same as you are. I'm working freelance online at home like you, but because I never leave my room for anything but errands and my sleep is around the clock (plus I literally don't have any irl friends that I didn't meet from the internet, even then that's like… 2-3 people), it makes me feel like the rest of the hikki NEETS here. I should go outside, but where? I don't know how to meet people, and I also don't want to meet people. Even online I find it hard to make friends, so why try? But at the same time, I feel like the world is passing me by. Sure I love this 'freedom' of mine, but there's a nagging feeling that I should be more like everyone else. But I don't want to work a 9-5, I don't want to have to put up with small talk and colleagues, I don't want to face interviewers and people. It's conflicting. Once I went to a social party event at some club looking place, my anxiety was through the roof and I ended up keeping to myself or hiding out in the bathroom. It's like I'm lonely but also not.
No. 1635110
>>1634579I'm glad no one advocates for the change in your country nonna, in my experience it's normies of all people who manage to get that changed and ask for you not to say aspergers. They changed it in my country since the "english" changed it and they're always right and shit. It came from the upper side of things not the actual people who suffer from the diagnosis change or the organizations and the doctors obviously disagree with it but nothing can be done about it. So I believe you shouldn't look at the autism/asperger groups but how normies react to aspergers because that's what got it changed here, because it's "uncomfortable" to say it or even talk about it due to nazis or something.
>>1634731I noticed most normies who fake being autistic now and complain about aspergers or "low functioning" are just those so quirky le random people from the 00s or the "geeks" (not really) from the 10s, this is just the new form of them being so weird and quirky in current year. It's also amazing how uncomfortable they react to me in real life and to my weirdness since I do that shit with camera off and not for likes.
No. 1635594
>>1634927I was very much in the same situation as you and nonna who responded to you, just a couple weeks ago even. The #1 thing to look out for is making sure you are eating properly, hydrating, and getting vit d. This is essential since you are not leaving the house as much so you are getting less sun exposure. Low vitamin d will wreck your life, you can easily get your levels checked with a blood test. People with sun allergies have to take supplements for most of their lives, and this is perfectly fine, so you can do that too if you stay inside a lot. You also want to monitor your iron levels bc as women we are particularly prone to anemia, and that can really suck
>I see people my age going to parties, having friends, studying and stuff and I can't help but think that I'm failing at doing what I'm supposed to do at 24 years oldLook at what nona said
>>1634988 she went to that party and didn't even have fun. People who go out drinking, partying, dating do that because they WANT to do that. They enjoy it. Forcing yourself to do things you don't want to because you think you should is going to make you unhappy. You are not those other people, you are you. Don't waste your short time on this earth feeling bad for being autistic. Find things that make you happy and then enjoy doing those things. And don't worry about "missing out" on stuff. You're going to be so worried about not getting what everyone else has, you're going to miss what you have right now.
>>1634988>It's like I'm lonely but also not.I think a lot of us are in the same boat where our high school friends moved on to college or the workforce and found relationships there, but we struggle with making new acquaintances since school ended. The same principle applies to making new relationships: find somewhere you can be present at consistently and there you will begin interacting with people. This can run from built in community (grandma's house on the weekends) to seeking out a group and scheduled time with them. Pick a frequency that doesn't make you want to die. A hiking group every weekend for 4 hours can be nice, or you can find a book club that meets up every few weeks for light discussion and you leave after a couple hours. Try looking for groups at the library, your local college, or even online.
Of course, you may also be depressed. There are high rates of depression among autistic people, which makes sense given the general social incompatibility. You can see a psychiatrist about medications for depression and/or anxiety. It honestly helped me get out of a huge rut when I was in my early 20s, and anything that improves your mood without negative consequences is always worth looking into.
No. 1635960
>>1635810I'd probably like someone to go and eat burgers with, but i genuinely do not like having conversations with people very much. I often just don't know what to say and i get frustrated when i can't figure out what kind of conversation they want to have or i constantly miss my cues to make a facial expression.
>>1635828My life has not changed, all it's done really has given me an explanation for my behaviour. I completely relate with you though, i've just settled for living in isolate since i was a teen and get all my interaction online.
No. 1636301
>>1635594Thank you for the advice nonita, I greatly appreciate it.
>>1635828I was diagnosed but it wasn't written in my medical story, so only my mom knows, my father barely does because he's one of the people who flat out denies it. Honestly I think he may be an aspie as well.
No. 1637996
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My aspergers has made me incredibly isolated and lonely. I can not connect with people in any meaningful way. I can small talk to people just fine (or at least I think I can) but I can't take the relationship to "next level" I don't know when I can start calling them friends and when it's appropriate to start hanging out.
I know many people with social anxiety who have Nigels or actively dates, I know other aspies and autists who have huge friend groups they frequently hang out with. Don't get me wrong I'm happy for them but these are disorders that affects ones social life and yet others just seems to "get" it. They know what to do to connect with other people but I just can't.
I'm close with my family and I love them so but even when talking to them I feel like their is some sort of invisible barrier I can't get trough. If it wasn't for the fact that I grew up with them I don't think I would ever have gotten close to them.
I only celebrate my birthdays with my family and sometimes my siblings brings their partners along and it feels weird because I don't have any friends of my own to invite. I'm reaching that age where people start to travel with their friends but no one is inviting me to comeeven though they love to talk about their planned vacations in front of me which makes me super bitter. If I outlive my family then I'm gonna die alone.
No one has ever shown any romantic interest in me. Not even flirted with me in a liggthearted way. I know there is more to life than romance, I know I should focus on myself before desiring a romantic relationship. But it still feels weird that no one has ever desired me in a romantic context. Specially since so many other people with disorders that affects social skill has no problem with dating.
I don't know how to get close with people it's so complicated I just want a friend but I don't know how. People don't mind hanging out with me but they don't want to be my friend. I'm not pushy or clingy, so maybe I seem to distant? But If I acted less distant I would jsut become annoying and I don't know what to do
No. 1638014
>>1637996Try joining a group of some sort, perhaps art or sports. It can be a newbie group, it doesn't matter what your level is. Just something you do about once a week with the same group of people. Even if it never leads to "real" friendship (it could, just saying if) I've noticed you still get some of the mental benefits of having friends. You get a group to consistently hang out with and have fun, and you feel like you're part of something.
I recommend art groups, especially ones where middle aged and older ladies like to hang out because they're all chill and friendly. I did a pottery class for a few weeks and had a great time with the older ladies there. Even if you struggle to make friends it still helps combat the loneliness!
No. 1638026
>>1637834Yes, I get like this too, even with people I've known my whole life like my parents. For people I genuinely love and enjoy, I try to make a little time each day to talk to them even if it's stressful. For me that's a grand total of 3 people (parents and partner) but it's the only way to stave off feeling like a wild animal that's never interacted with people before kek.
>>1637996I could have written this when I was in my 20s. I really feel you
nonny. It's incredibly difficult. Social interaction has rules and hierarchies to follow that you might not enjoy or might stress you out. I don't have it all figured out myself, but the people you're looking at right now know these rules intrinsically, they spent their life learning them as children upwards and we did not. That's why they seem to 'get' it and we don't.
I think what you should ask yourself is if you really want to put a mask on and pretend to be someone you aren't in order to perform friendship for these people. Loneliness cuts very deep, and I know seeing other people having fun without you, like you're invisible, is so painful. But the performance has a high chance of just stressing you out and feeling more like a job than something natural that these people can do, so it might not solve the problem anyway.
If you're really set on it still, my advice is to try and make friends with people who have ADHD. As weird as it sounds, they usually have one foot in our autist world and one foot in the normie world. A lot of the time they can be too weird to be normal and having a grounded autist friend they can be a bit of a sperg with is something they love.
No. 1639571
hello noners once more i have become reclusive. it comes in waves, but it is making me feel really selfish because my best (and only) friend thinks i am starting to leave her behind. going outside is a huge overstimulating jackhammer to my brain because of how fast my brain is moving compared to the world. i have been diagnosed with autism and adhd, but i have been reading a lot about aspergers and it seems like i fit into a lot of those categories. now i am an adult it is much harder to seek further diagnoses/alter my diagnoses because i was diagnosed as a child. my problem is that i want the social interaction but i cannot provide one, and when i try it is the worst, most uncomfortable experience for me and i am certain it is more uncomfortable to whoever i am talking to. every time i am on my own outside all i can think about is everyones eyes on me and how i am being perceived, i notice everything about myself and how i walk, breathe, what i am doing with my hands, what i'm doing with my face (i usually have a retarded blank expression on my face)… i didn't want it to get to the point of people thinking i don't care about them or i'm leaving them out, i want to have these cool and fun social experiences but the lead-up to those experiences and my paranoia seems to ruin it all before it can happen. also, being bpdchan my ambition and any drive i had to do anything productive can be wiped away in an instant. it seems like a ticking timebomb to when things will all go wrong, i feel like people will eventually see me as selfish or as if i don't need them anymore, but a lot of the time i need to be on my own. it gets to the point where even the presence of others or hearing their breathing/chewing/general existing irritates me and i lash out. how do i stop my friend from thinking i am just an uninterested piece of crap?? aaaaagh.
No. 1639639
>>1639571>how do i stop my friend from thinking i am just an uninterested piece of crap??Tell her about all of this nona. Be honest and say you have periods like this when you'll need to be alone more but that you do enjoy her company and will eventually get back in a period of wanting more contact. If she doesn't accept it then you shouldn't be friends in the first place.
Lonely nonas should google to see if there are any autism/sperg groups arranged in your city. There's one in mine, people on the spectrum are free to come and go to any of their meetups and you might meet some like minded people who get it if you need to be alone sometimes.
No. 1641696
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I feel so stupid, dumb, confused and scared. Last week a co worker asked if I would like to eat lunch in the weekend. As a retard i first thought he actually meant to ask if I normally eat lunch in the weekend. Then later I realised he meant to like invite me. I said yes and it was very fun, this Saturday we went to the Barbie movie and then he mentioned he really liked me and I just feel so fucking dumb because I had no idea this was supposed to be a date. In the end I just told him that I wasn't ready for a relationship and that I was sorry because I had no experience and didn't know this was supposed to be a date. He actually was super nice about it and now I feel bad even more. I'm confused because I just never expected someone to confess to me so I was unprepared and now I have 1000 scenario's running through my head. Should I have not rejected him to try it out? But I don't want to kiss or have sex, what if he expects those things. I don't even know if I like men or sex at all. His face is nice and talking with him is nice. But I don't want to see him naked or touch him. I just feel so stupid and scared because it feels like have led him on. Will I ever be ready to date, do I like men or women will I never like anyone at all? I didn't want him to say he liked me my life was fine before I knew people could feel this way about me and now I can't stop thinking and worrying about having to be in a relationship. It makes me want to cry so bad. Do straight women force themselves to like a man body?? Like do all straight women just pretend to not be discusted by penisses and male bodies and still have sex with them? My sister told me that I should maybe experiment and try out stuff with him because she confessed that she isn't even attraced to her husband and had to force herself to like his body and she was only attracted to his personality. Which just seems horrible. If I wasn't socially retarded would I have noticed that he felt romantic towards me and would I just have accepted without panicking as much and being a normal fucking human being? I have so many questions and worries right now, I want to dig a hole and never come out of it. I will see him again on Tuesday what do I even say to him? I'm to scared to text him too, I feel so bad because I don't have many friends and I finally thought to have made a friend.
No. 1641733
>>1641696Calm down nona, you didn’t do anything wrong. Actually it was really cool of you to be straightforward about the misunderstanding once you realised. He probably really appreciates that.
>Do straight women force themselves to like a man body??No
>Like do all straight women just pretend to not be discusted by penisses and male bodies and still have sex with them? No. The vast majority of straight women are physically attracted to male bodies.
>My sister told me that I should maybe experiment and try out stuff with him because she confessed that she isn't even attraced to her husband and had to force herself to like his body and she was only attracted to his personality.Okay, or this I guess. It’s pretty retarded to get with someone you’re not attracted to, though. You can’t force physical attraction and it can really fuck you up if you try. Your sister made a mistake and now she’s giving you bad advice as cope. Do not experiment on this basis. Only ever experiment if you feel excited to do so. (Nervous-excited is okay and normal. Scared and/or disgusted is not okay or normal.)
How old are you?
No. 1642085
>>1641995Most women find most dick pics gross because most dick pics are unsolicited. Plenty of us love dick pics from the right man at the right time. But very, very few (maybe even none?) enjoy being surprised by a random dick.
>>1641811You’re welcome! Please don’t worry too much. Maybe you’re gay, maybe you aren’t. It’s okay to find out at your own pace. You’re still so young. It really does all get much easier with time, I promise.
No. 1642428
>>1642085You are right I still am young, I really shouldn't worry about this.
>>1641995>>1642367I am not going to lie this makes me confused. I understand the point about how an emotional connection also is important but surely you still need to find them sexual attractive? Like you can have friends and have an emotional connection with them but not want to sleep with them because you don't think they are attractive like that? Do straight women who do not enjoy penises still enjoy sex and are they even sexually attractive to there partner?
No. 1642437
>>1642428Straight women are attracted to the idea of a man who loves them and “get off” on making him feel good. Unlike gay men they never chase men based on looks, and the uglier your boyfriend is the more social points you score. It’s like you’re making a point about how serious you are about the relationship by saying, see, if I’m willing to fuck this ogre of a man I must be
really serious about him! Of course there are exceptions here and there but they’re mostly mentally ill women who have BPD. Not normal
(bait) No. 1642448
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>>1642446Kek of course you are.
No. 1642456
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I have an ex-friend who's a girl and was diagnosed with autism in her early teens. I have zero doubt that she has it, when we have had several conversations mentioning her special interests, how she blends up food on the days she's "tired" because she can't stand texture, I sometimes catch her outside in social events lightly stimming and other past ordeals. The thing that surprises me about her is that she's literally a vicious person that plays some scary ass psychological games to people she doesn't like, she was actually extremely popular (she's also very pretty) all of her life and was never bullied, in fact, she was the bully, always. A while after I cut off contact with her due to her and a friend doing me wrong in a very serious issue that involves housing, I sat and realized how she is a "leader" to her group of friends (I was not that close to her so I wasn't part of that) and can manipulate them to bully who she wants, depending on the season and that she has insane social capital in our small town society. I feel like this demands good enough social engineering skills. On the other hand, I'm not doubting her diagnosis and I'm actually happy she doesn't suffer in loneliness like many people with ASD that struggle with their everyday life and social relationships but she's the exact opposite of what the "profile" would be, and I'd like your opinion. Could this be the other side of the coin of autism? Of course, not the inappropriate bullying but being overly aware of social cues and using it to mask effectively? Is the bullying, on the other hand, a way to cope for something? I always thought she was a bad person after all the shit she's had people around her go through, but I'm trying to be empathetic in case she's hurting too and I can't see it.
No. 1642517
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taken from the jill thread i needed to rant about this but didn't want to derail lol.
>stim toys
>craft toys
this sounds like an event for children not for autistic adults. I'm very sensitive to loud noises but I'm still an adult and I enjoy doing adult things. I like going to bars to drink but problem is most bars plays loud music. If a bar really wanted to make a "sensory friendly" event then they could just play quiet calm music for a few hours before putting on regular loud club music. I hate how things for autistic adults focus so much on toys. I know some autistic adults likes craft but they can do that at home or at an art center no need to go to a bar to craft. I get the intention of offering stim toys but autistic adults who rely on stim toys already carries their own with them.
And I doubt this event was meant to children even if it sounds like that. First of all it does not specify that it's for children or family-friendly and second, who the fuck takes their child to a bar? I know the event took place at a time that is normally not considered drinking time, but I have been to plenty of parties that starts between 2-3pm. Plus pride is very festive so it makes sense if anyone wants to drink a beer at that time, specially when they are at a bar. also I agree with jill, playing loud music and turning up the lights without any sort of heads up was in extreme poor taste kek
No. 1642655
>>1642428>I understand the point about how an emotional connection also is important but surely you still need to find them sexual attractive?No, not really. I would say not at all, but this is the autist thread and I am an autist. Because the way I see it, thinking dicks LOOK attractive is one thing.
And liking the sensation of having sex with one is a different thing.
So you can be attracted to men physically overall, such as liking their handsome face and muscles or whatever, but not be particularly interested in what a penis looks like. You'd still be attracted to the "idea" or use of the dick because it brings you pleasure.
Just like how most women might enjoy a vibrator or dildo, but you wouldn't say you're actually physically/sexually attracted to a vibrator or dildo. You just like how it makes you feel.
When I say "not really" I feel the need to stress that you still need to be sexually attracted to the person overall so this is only true for straight and bi women. A lesbian would naturally dislike dicks, so I'm absolutely not saying they could still enjoy dicks. Because they do not.
I think part of the confusion might come from the fact that the internet-tumblr-trans ideology (created by literal confused virgin teens pretending to know what they're talking about) made up a bunch of lies to make themselves feel better and to have a bunch of quirky labels. In particular they pushed the lie that there are 2 kinds of separate attractions: romantic and sexual. In reality they're the same exact thing, they're both just sexual attraction.
When you have a crush and feel like kissing or hugging someone, that comes from sexual attraction and is part of it. Sexual attraction isn't just "being turned on and horny", that's just also part of it.
No. 1642738
>>1642714I don't find genitals attractive, neither male or female. I don't find sex itself a problem for me, even oral or hand stuff for the most part, but I really hate the language around it and especially a lot of the imagery. My ex tried to turn me on by describing acts, but honestly most of it actually turned me off, even though I had no problems touching or licking dick IRL and I'd rather not spare a thought on cum besides it just being a part of the process. While a lot of men try to draw attention on it, try to present cum as something sexy and central to sex. But men ruin sex so much in general that even women that were very sexual sometimes find it a relief when their bedroom dies.
This became a ramble, but point is, that maybe the portrayal and how people talk about sex might be more alarming than it actually is in the moment. I don't know if you have actual experience with it.
No. 1642796
>>1642771This sounds like actual asexuality (not retarded pomo tumblr asexuality). You may find someone who wants to be in this kind of relationship.
>>1642738I agree with you about talking feeling worse than doing. My boyfriend and I are both autistic and we have sex but never ever dirty talk (during sex or outside of it). Other guys have tried to make me dirty talk in the past and even just thinking about it makes me feel like I’m going to cringe myself inside out, so I’m glad I found a fellow silent autist kek.
>>1642481>Whatever you say Dr. Scrotusmy sides
No. 1642959
>>1642655Thank you for your explanation. It makes sense that kissing is part of sexual attraction since that is not something you would do with family or friends. Also now I think I understand why some straight women might think dicks are ugly but still enjoy penetrative sex with a male. You don't have to look much at it either when it's inside you right, so I guess the pleasure outweights the uglyness.
>>1642714>How can I find somebody attractive and even get wet thinking about them (which means being turned on right?)This is something difficult for me, I don't think I'm asexual because most often when I masturbate I don't think of anything. I don't like watching porn. However I have watched it a few times and I feel really bad because I sometimes do think of this specific porn video of an asian lady when masturbating. However it's straight porn and I am not a male but I don't want to be in her position either. I feel really bad when I think about the video afterwards.
Does anyone here think that internet exposure to sex at a young age has created some damage? I stumbled on porn, hentai and just "smutty" fanfiction at a young age. I don't read hentai anymore, but I do sometimes read explicit fanfiction. But it's not like get wet or masturbate to it, that's the weird part I'm like desensitized to it. Also when porn is written I don't mind it, but real porn and sometimes drawn porn really stresses me out and makes me feel weird.
>>1642771>I know I will probably never meet someone like this so I will die alone.I don't think that's true, I think more people don't like touching genitals but it's just no spoken about. I think I wouldn't mind being in a relationship where my partner just didn't touch my genitals and I don't have to touch theirs.
No. 1644949
>>1642714>What if I'm capable of experiencing those feelings very strongly towards both sexes, but I feel too disgusted by genitals?Sounds like exactly what you just said. You have the sexual attraction to people, but are repulsed at the thought of sex. You are not asexual because you experience multiple different sexual desires such as hugging, kissing and even have the physical experience of getting wet.
It's not uncommon for people to be repulsed by some sex acts, like how many women don't want to perform oral sex (or even receive it) becasue they think it's gross, despite being straight and liking piv sex. You just have this feeling for sex in general. If you wanted to you could get therapy to try and learn how to not be repulsed by it, but it's not like you have to do it. There are also other ways of having sex, such as having a partner use toys on you instead of their own body parts.
No. 1644956
>>1642959>Does anyone here think that internet exposure to sex at a young age has created some damage?Studies all show that, yes. It's done a lot of damage of many different kinds both for girls and boys who saw porn at a young age.
The fucked up thing is you're not even "allowed" to be against porn now because then you're "kink shaming", "not sex-positive" and "denying that sex work is real work". In reality porn generally just harms people and make their lives worse even when they don't even understand it themselves becasue they're too addicted to it to see it.
Even without the harms I still think it's the most pathetic thing ever to get off to watching others have sex, not involving you at all. It's like looking at people eating ice cream and going "wow guys that sure tasted good, right?" you got nothing, you know nothing of the experience, you're too ugly and pathetic to get a mate so you had to watch someone else mate and pretend that was somehow beneficial to you.
No. 1646727
>>1644956nta but I'm curious about those studies you speak of. Not in any argumentative way, just wanted to see
how much it fucks people up compared to controls
No. 1650528
>>1650503Some people have slower processing times. For people with ADHD this can be due in part to attention issues, and with autism sometimes it can be due to our lack of synaptic pruning, meaning incoming information doesn't go through as streamlined of a process (to simplify the concept), although there are always other variables and it's just fairly normal for a lot of people.
How much do you repeat things back to yourself, or take notes and turn detailed concepts and instructions into bullet points? Do you think actively doing so more often (like on paper, aloud to yourself, and in your head as you're given instructions) would help at all? If information is just kind of buzzing around vaguely in your head until a second go-over consolidates it into something useful, maybe that process can be actively sped up somehow.
No. 1652177
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Sometimes I wish I could just shut the fuck up and stop bringing up obvious, unspoken things everyone else avoids mentioning just because they bother me. It never goes well because people would rather defend the person or thing causing the disturbance than break the status quo, and it makes me look and feel like a bitter asshole. It's always minor shit too, like pointing out that joining an online community with the express purpose of selling shit you don't even know how to make yet is kinda fucking weird, but the way people react you'd think I was insulting their families. I hope I don't sound like I think I'm some Neo type amid the sheeple, I just wish I had better impulse control so I'd stop embarrassing myself.
No. 1652987
>>1652177you're not alone
nonnie. sometimes I'm astounded by how much neurotypicals can take. especially loud shit or people
No. 1658155
I don't know if I'm autistic and it's very much getting under my skin.
Many people in my life (many of my close "friends") have implied or outright said they think I am but I still have no idea. I would say I am a fairly well adjusted adult despite it all and I understand social cues/dynamics very well. I've jusr always struggled with being seen as really socially awkward and overinvested in my pet topics. I do really well making friends in nerd spaces but in more normal non-Internet poisoned ones not so much mostly due to just being on such a different page than people in my age range or my only social interactions being younger coworkers.
I know hyperfixate on a number of things and this plus my general social anxiety have always made me an outcast. I did have a psychological report done on me when I was 5th grade age talking about my struggles with making eye contact and I found it hard as a child before I trained myself out of it. I even remember having all of my high school teachers having a serious meeting with my parents but I don't really know if they were implying that I might have ADHD or not.
It's just really frustrating.
>>1439766God yes, chewing and when people bite on forks drives me fucking insane.
No. 1658294
>>1657703NTA but imho it has more to do about what’s the DSM prescriptive lists of symptoms and description.
It makes Autism and ADHD overlap just like Bipolar/BPD to an extent that, if you fill out most autistic symptoms you also match for ADHD diagnosis.
No. 1658320
>>1658155Anon are you me?
My boss and co workers often tell me they think I'm autistic and I wonder if I would feel closure getting diagnosed or not
No. 1658551
>>1658155>>1658320If you are well adjusted and have no problems don't even bother, people need to get over themselves constantly judging you. I doubt you'd have the nerve to tell them you are austistic. I keep it to myself when i would benefit from telling people a lot because at the end of the day, they won't treat you differently and probably won't see it as a
valid excuse for your behaviour and still will expect you to act "normal".
No. 1658632
>>1658560sounds like you just need to wear a sundress or something. no bra, no collars, no fabric touching your thighs.
honestly though, take it from another autist, loose dresses or leggings and a size XL quality cotton T-shirt are like a liberation on a sensory meltdown day. also sports bras. i just stopped wearing bras with clasps altogether and can't imagine going back
No. 1662785
I've been thinking a lot lately about the whole increase in autism diagnosis etc. the past few decades. Now obviously there's some explanations like women getting diagnosed more, but my personal shitty theory is this: The way technology and individualism has changed in the same past few decades.
Now hear me out, I don't mean this in a 'technology bad' kinda way, I mean it in the way it changed the structure of every day life. 30 years ago life was a lot more simple in a way. You either went to school or your job, came home, and for the most part nobody bothered you. You could properly turn off for the day. No constant feed of information or social media to catch up on. Nobody being able to send you an email at 8pm. Nowadays you have to always be on, even if you are still in high school. I graduated before it became really bad, but I still distinctly remember the switch from having to show your parents your grades to them being able to log in and see it. My point is that people who would have before not been noticed, are getting burned out way easier or earlier in life, and where before they'd just be the kinda weird fucker in the office, they now need the diagnosis because life has become a lot more stressful. But more importantly, you have to keep up with a lot more things.
The individualism part is smaller because imo that affects every person even more, specifically the death of 3rd spaces. I believe that also affects us spergs because we now lack a certain degree of social connection that used to kinda come with life unless you actively avoided it. Even things like becoming a hikkimori are way easier these days because you can just ensure all your life's needs can be delivered or done electronically. Sounds nice in theory but I know for myself at least I've slipped into almost becoming a full on hikkimori multiple times because it's so much easier now.
To be honest, I think it affects a lot more then just autism, but I feel like we especially get fucked over by it because autism means inherently struggling with information inputs, which have exploded since the start of the internet.
No. 1664050
>>1662785There's another very important factor too: The cultural hyperfocus on academic studies and undervaluing of practical skills. It varies a bit from country to country but overall at least in the west this is true. Before if you hated school and were shit at all of it, you could drop out and still get a job. There was an option to work your way up instead of taking the academic route. In my country that is practically impossible, it just doesn't fucking happen these days - you just can't get a job at all without some kind of higher education. Meanwhile my grandparents still managed to create their own very successful and respectable jobs without even finishing high school.
Now imagine an autist who is shit at school, but his special interest is cars. He can take apart a car and build it back up perfectly again. He'd be the perfect mechanic AND he'd love the job. But he doesn't have the "proper education" for it so he's not allowed to work as a mechanic even though he knows more than 10 other mechanics combined because it's all he ever thinks about. A few decades back he could have opened his own small mechanic shop in peace and done well. But he can't do that now because whatever he does, a multi-billion dollar company can do it cheaper, and he's just seen as an idiot who couldn't finish school.
This is the case for a lot of autists - whatever specialized skills and knowledge they have isn't valued because people think a general random degree is the only proof of worth.
No. 1664064
>>1664053I know, I know, sorry to offend you all, it wasn't my intention. It was kinda tongue in cheek, I should have said it with other words lmao.
But going back to my post. Do you think that a sooner diagnosis could have helped you or it could be the same? I think it would have been better for me.
No. 1664073
>>1664064Maybe we would have had an easier life with an earlier diagnosis, but maybe not. Don't live your life thinking about all the "what ifs", focus on here and now. Too many people get stuck feeling resentful to teachers, parents and so on and instead of improving their lives blame all these other people for where you ended up. Even though that could partly even be true, that's still not going to help you. Just acknowledge that it was what it was and be ready to move on.
Regarding your boyfriend tell him exactly what you said here, that you don't want or expect him to be a caretaker. If he leaves you he was trash anyway and you deserved better.
Having a few fellow autistic friends is often good and helpful. However my best advice is to avoid online communities focused around autism like the plague (2/3 there are always self-diagnosed fakers anyway). At most use anonymous forums like this to talk about autism.
No. 1664236
>>1664008That's such a good point too. To add on, the death of specific forums for each thing. They might have been peak cringe, but there was definitely a certain amount of freedom when it came to stuff like roleplay forums. They were all smaller more focused spaces. Kind of like online third spaces. Of course the pandemic didn't help and so many groups and institutions have used it as an excuse to permanently offer online only.
>>1664050Also an excellent addition. A bit of blogposting, but I personally struggled immensely with my thesis because it had to be written in a very specific way yet the guidelines were always kind of vague. I find that these days it's harder to potentially get a replacement assignment or anything else because things always have to be the same way for every single student, at least in my country. So everyone doing a bachelors or masters has to write a thesis, no matter how little it fits your specific subject. So now me and others in this situation are the weirdos that took forever writing a thesis or even dropped out when it would have been better for everyone involved to look for an alternative solution.
No. 1664368
>>1664286I had it for a few years, the only reason they put me on it was "well you tried it and it didn't make you worse so that means you should stay on it". I was a teenager so I didn't want to protest the lack of logic and assumed the doctor somehow was right even though it sounded stupid to me. Eventually I started getting so annoyed with the side effects that happened when I missed even just 1 day, so I just quit cold turkey and stopped taking them. I was extremely sleepy and tired for a week or two but then I was pretty much fine. I'm off meds now. Initially I had them for anxiety and depression, I honestly didn't feel that much of a difference (if any at all) but people around me gaslit me into thinking I absolutely needed them for years. They said it seemed like I did better, yet nobody noticed once I was off them again. I didn't tell anyone because I knew they'd be mad I quit meds just like that without even consulting a doctor.
Since it's semi-related, the best strategy I've found for managing my own anxiety instead has been this:
>Knowing literally everything is depressing past 3am. It's a real phenomenon that has been known for so long it's called "witching hour" in old folklore. Night is for sleeping.>Did I eat and drink recently, did I sleep enough last night? Those affected my mood, especially the lack of sleep.But the most important one:
>I allow myself to acknowledge what my anxiety thinks is a "threat", and in words I think to myself "well spotted to think of that threat, it's highly unlikely to happen but it's a possibility and therefore you did good in spotting it. Now that you've thought of it we can let it go and think of other things."Basically I act as if my anxiety is a guard dog barking to make me notice something unusual. When I look at it I can see that the "threat" my dog brain barked at was just the equivalent of a neighbours cat, so I tell it "good job for spotting it, but we don't need to actually worry about that one." Because in my mind if I don't tell the dog that it will just keep barking and think it's a real threat. I also like dogs a lot, so it's easier to be kind to myself if I visualize my anxiety as a friendly dog who's just doing it's job of protecting me by spotting potential threats.
No. 1664441
>>1662785>>1664008>but I feel like we especially get fucked over by it because autism means inherently struggling with information inputsthe transition where school started revolving around technology was so hard for me. When I started high school everything had become digitalized. Instead of announcing important announcement they put it online
and since I didnt have any friends at the time to tell me that kind of stuff i had no fucking idea what was going on the first year. I almost got kicked out my first year because I never did any of the preparation work before class and I never turned in assignments. The counselor asked me why I never did any work and then he got mad at me when I told him I genuinely can't navigate the website where all this information was because the amount of info on there was confusing lol.
>You could properly turn off for the day. No constant feed of information or social media to catch up on.>moving all social interaction online is extremely unhealthy for people who already have social difficulties.Really good points. You can't have a private life anymore. If you texted someone pre-2010 you just assumed that it will take a few hours before you got a reply. Now you are expected to answer immediately and it's seen as bad etiquette to turn your phone of when you're home, because you are going to miss texts and urgent emails from your boss.
Unrelated but I I do wonder how the focus on social media and online interactions affects young autistic kids who already struggles socially. Like back in the days if you got bullied you could at least go home and unwind, not that it was easy to deal with bullying back then, but now with cyberbullying the bullying doesn't even stop when youre home. It's not even like you can look away from the screen nowadays because we have build society around on social media, so you're not even gonna escape harassment when you're home. Keeping your socials private from the people you know irl doesnt even work anymore. Whenever i see kids interact they always talk about their social media so sharing socials has become the default way of interacting for kids. This isn't an autism-specific issue, but affects all kids who are being bullied.
No. 1664559
>>1664441ayrt and I completely agree with everything you said. We probably are around the same age too going by your description. I distinctly remember avoiding things like facebook because I was sure they'd just bully me online too if I did, but the consequence was that I never knew anything going on and had to hear it by chance if I was lucky. It was honestly really isolating in a completely new way, and I can only imagine that has gotten way worse these days.
For a long time I thought the internet was the perfect escape for me, and while I can absolutely attribute positive things in my life even now to it, I sometimes can't help but wonder how things would have been if I was born 15 or even 10 years earlier.
No. 1667881
>It is a spectrumIs it, though? Can someone actually explain exactly how autism is a spectrum? I've never seen any attempt at it that I agree with, and I find the term completely useless and misleading if it's just supposed to be some stand in for "people are different in various ways". Because yeah no shit, every fucking person is unique so why is that suddenly treated as a vital part of this one diagnosis? (I know I'm going off topic from
>>1667552 so sorry about that) but how is spectrum in the name when no one seems to be able to actually define the spectrum? Am I the only one who finds that super ridiculous?
No. 1669999
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>>1667881This is the spectrum, but add like 20 more things to the 5 things shown.
Definition of spectrum: "A spectrum is a condition that is not limited to a specific set of values but can vary, without gaps, across a continuum."
It literally just means that everyone is different. Yes, differences apply to everyone, but autism has been multiple disorders turned into one. Developmental retardation and Asperger's are today, both autism spectrum disorder. But they're very different as well.
It's also the fact that autism is unknown, depression is lack of chemical stuff in the brain, DID is trauma in childhood, Phobias are genetic or developmental though experience. Autism just is, we don't know where it comes from, how to "prevent" it. We can't get a POS or NEG in a blood test and because of that it's hard to define what autism is exactly. Especially with the lack of research in girls lol
No. 1670050
>>1667552Just ignore them, if you openly try to doubt it they'll just make a psa tiktok about how "some chick came up to me unprompted to tell me I don't seem 'autistic enough.' Friendly reminder that you are
valid and no two people will present exactly the same. You are enough"
No. 1670170
>>1667881This is copy paste but it explained it somewhat
*almost every autistic trait has something to do with extremes, and for most of them, autistic people can be on either end of the scale. sometimes this is for hyper/hypo sensitivity reasons, and sometimes it's due to overcompensation. examples of some typical autistic traits and their equally austistic counterparts:
* no empathy? how about having such extreme empathy that you cry when your stuffed animals are ignored?
* no/wrong facial expressions? how about exaggerated facial expressions because you learned early on you were doing it wrong?
* nonverbal? how about being hyperverbal and not knowing when to stop talking?
* highly advanced vocabulary? how about when you can't remember common everyday words in conversation?
* can't tell when things are awkward? how about having such an sensitivity to awkwardness that you can barely stand being in the room when an awkward moment happens on tv?
* has a meltdown over a small tag on their shirt? how about being so oblivious to physical sensations that you don't know you broke a bone?
* doesn't follow social norms? how about a strict adherence to social norms, often accompanied by severe anxiety that you're not doing it right?
* can't stand bright lights and loud noises? how about pressing lights so close to your eyes that you're temporary blinded and constantly making noises when it gets too quiet?
* no eye contact? how about intense, sustained eye contact that you don't know when to break?
constantly rocking back and forth? how about being unable to walk without getting disoriented?remember this when people say "you don't seem autistic" - there is no quintessential autistic representation. this is what we mean when we say it's a spectrum. No. 1671441
>>1669999I don't agree with it the spectrums I've seen, for example the "correct" one of those 2 implies an autist can be fully functioning in language, motor skills, executive functioning, perception and sensory skills and STILL quality as being on the spectrum. It automatically includes space for non-autists. It also implies it would be equally normal if the skills were distributed evenly. Or that a person who functions well in every area but one is also still an autist, rather than for example lacking motor skills due to a muscle disroder - that would still fall under the spectrum definition. So it means nothing.
Multiple labels shouldn't be included under ASD, because then it's not a spectrum due to the fact that there's no coherent "it". It's basically a spectrum of retardation. It makes no sense to explain autism this way.
The current lack of research in autsim is only further hindered and not helped by going "well they're retarded alright, we just don't care too much about how or why so just call it autism". Autism/ASD no longer means anything, it's literally just the new "standard retard".
Weirdly, even the "less and more autism" makes more sense even though I don't agree with that one either.
No. 1671451
>>1670170Samefagging, but I also don't agree that this translates to a single unified spectrum. If anything this is presenting it as binary extremism traits. At best you always just get a spectrum for every single possible trait, which would also imply there's a normality for each spectrum and that either every human is on it or autists can be non-autistic in all areas and still be on the spectrum. And like
>>1670578 said, a person seems to be able to be both contradictionary things at the same time.
I can sort of see why some people think a spectrum works to explain it, but like I said in
>>1671441 there's not coherent definition of what autism is so it all just means nothing.
No. 1672682
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I’m autistic (diagnosed) and I have a strong dislike for almost every other autistic person I encounter (besides my own family members). Especially the gender-special/tumblr/Reddit types. I suspect a lot of them are fakers, which I’m not allowed to openly comment on because every self-diagnosis is valid. Imo the ones who deny that autism has become some weird fucking loser trend are the ones who need to be side-eyed. I might be able to get along with the autists here If we met irl though. imo just being an active user here means we have pretty similar ways of viewing the world, even if there’s constant infighting kek. I’m just tired of having annoying interactions
No. 1672707
>>1672682I was just coming here to comment something similar. I strongly dislike what can be called "online autists", bonus if they're doing any kind of activism (be it for autism, trans, anything really).
One thing I've noticed is that "online autists" are typically focusing their ideas outwardly, just like the rest of social media they dwell on. And they rarely present with real autistic problems, but I'll give them a pass because I can't see how they really act. They insist that you and everyone else must use pronouns, hate JKR, be against people who want to "cure" autism… whatever they have all collectively decided is correct.
But then the irl autists nearly always focus on themselves only. They'll be perfectly fine with everyone else doing weird or incorrect things but they'll be particular about their own wants and needs. For example they won't touch any food that's not dry, or they'll wear a thick winter jacket even in summer, and they couldn't give a shit about pronouns but it's not even to be rude, they just don't get it and don't care to. Even the ones who have objectively annoying traits aren't ever as bad as the online autists.
I used to be friends with an autist/ADHD guy. Because I met him irl I thought he'd be like the other autists I knew but he just wasn't. I quickly found out he's a reddit/discord gamer who barely leaves the apartment, and it all made sense then. He was an online autist, I just happened to meet him irl.
No. 1675689
>>1672972>What bothers me is their total denial of anything wrong with the way autism is presented online in the past few years.God yes. I've met a lot of autists through being in various support groups and whatnot, yet I've only met a single one who genuinely hand-flapped to stim. He also had a mental disability that made him unable to even speak coherently, don't know if that was actually related but it made me associate that action with lower functioning capacity. You want me to believe EVERY super-high-functioning autist online suddenly hand flaps as their stim?
It's such a stark difference between talking to real autists and seeing the "autists" online. Online everyone is afraid of the word "asperger" and will call it a "red flag" if someone uses it, while autists I meet in person will literally not give a fuck even when some poor autist-ally tries to explain what a bad nazi man Hans Asperger was. I love how directly they'll say "what the fuck does that have to do with me, stop being an idiot" to the poor ally who can't handle real blunt autism.
No. 1675707
>>1672972Speaking of trannies I'm really pissed that "autistic women" spaces also have to include TIMs and you cannot even discuss the intersection of autism and female socialization without being called a "
terf"
No. 1675765
>>1675689I hand-flapped as a child, and when I went to school I got instantly bullied for it like on my first day. Haven't flapped since
at least in public. I suspect online autists fixate on stimming precisely because they don't have autism and stimming is the kind of easily visible trait they can mimick and make a show out of. They also treat it like it's a tick like with tourette's as in you HAVE to do it, when actually most HF autists can stop stimming at will.
No. 1675777
>>1675776Nta but while I've never hand flapped I do the leg thing too sometimes. But only at home.
I had no idea flapping existed before tumblr/tiktok.
No. 1675793
>>1675773I quit my job when employed by someone else/ company cyclically about every 18 months too kek. I went into temp work in the past couple years, doing a merchandising project and light remodelling for big chain stores as an independant contractor. So a project might last a week or 2 months, and you pick which ones to do. That sat much better with me. Pay is shit, but everywhere pay is shit. I like making things. I now am self employed making even less, but I do love it. If my Nigel weren't bringing in decent money I would be back doing temp work again. I am very lucky. You might look into something like that, depending on where you are in the world. Brand ambassador stuff pays decent too but you do have to try to talk to people. It's scripted,or at least easy to form a 'script' of your own,so if you can repeat the same type of convo over and over to people, that type of job exists and you work with an agency. Pick and choose when you want to work and the projects are usually one day things or sometimes 3 or 4 days at a convention. Basically handing out coupons and samples and pretending that X Energy Drink really did give me wings earlier, they just wore off before you got here…kek. I worked as a temp in various factories too, so when I was burnt out I would just move to another.
No. 1676122
>>1675804>Yeah I feel like troonery and autism really dont actually go together despite autistic trans people being a majority of transI think statistically it's only about 10% at most of all trans people who are autistic, but compared to it being 2% of the population it's a lot more than it "should" be. I think it's more that autists easier fall
victim to it, making it seem like all the autists you see identify as trans in some form. But the again, autists are also more likely to peak and become terfs!
No. 1676124
>>1675814Absolutely and I agree with
>>1675819 that I was close to trooning out from tumblr. The thing that saved me was partly autism. I had autism in the family and strongly suspected I was an autist too so my explanation instead of "i don't fit in so i must be a boy" became "ah fuck i might be autistic", which was later confirmed by experts. If I wasn't lucky enough to know a lot of details about autism from my family I probably would have trooned out.
No. 1677253
File: 1693004297839.jpg (49.86 KB, 622x460, 20230814_204935.jpg)
Do any adhd nonas hate their hyperfixations? I tend to hyperfixate on certain media/characters for weeks and spend entire days only thinking about the current thing until I get so tired and scream at myself mentally to just. STOP. It's to the point where I tend to actively avoid getting into new fandoms and only pick up things that will be mentally stimulating enough to distract me but just boring enough to avoid being hyperfixated on. Do you have any tips to distract yourself from the current new obsession? Is there any healthy way to avoid the burn out and the void that settles in after you consumed everything there is to consume on certain media and fandom? God, I wish I was a normal fucking functioning adult
No. 1677756
>>1677751Ah yes, the usual "I'm autistic/adhd!some other trendy mental illness! Therefore, I am now allowed to act like an asshole and fuck off to anyone telling me to improve myself!!"
Geeze. By the way, sorry to break it up to you, but literally ANYONE can get an autism diagnosis these days. Just find the right quack and pay the right fee.
No. 1677759
>>1677757Yes, it's still acting like an asshole. And look how you're playing the
victim. "I did nothing wrong! I just sat there being mute!". And what where you expecting? For everyone else to accomodate your behaviour? Society is going downhill because too many people are entitled manchildren (or in your case, womanchild) and think the entire world revolves around them. That's now how it works. If you're weird, mute, or can't behave and function in society, society is NOT supposed to bend over to you.
Your family was trying to teach you that, instead you're fighting tooth and nails to convince the world you deserve a sort of special treatment. Newsflash: you don't. It doesn't matter if you have any alleged mental or physical issue: that doesn't mean you are entitled to anything. There's the guy who lost his leg and spends his life whining about his disability and living off welfare, and then there's the guy who lost his leg and found a good normal job and joined the paralympics. You seem to be the first category.
(infighting) No. 1677767
>>1677759You're saying "disabled people aren't really affected by their disabilities and can overcome them by just working harder". That's a common ableist way of thinking but it's typically not true at all. Most (real) autists strive to become better while the fakers are the ones who parade around on tiktok saying the world needs to cater to them. I didn't get that from the other anon, she just seemed upset over past mistreatment.
>>1677762Dyscalculia becuase you don't like doing math and autism because you're legit socially retarded are not the same thing though. You're assuming anon isn't actually autistic based only on the fact that her family told her to stop acting retarded, wheras that kids mom the one pushing the diagnosis onto the kid.
No. 1677768
>>1677759>And what where you expecting?I had no 'expectations' as a 6 or 10 year old. I literally didn't think about it in those categories.
Yes yes anon, all the week should die, we should let all the retarded people die out and every disabled person to become homeless because they can't care of themselves, the weak should fear the strong etc.
I can work, I pay taxes. I contribute in that regard like most average normies. I also prefer to be alone. I feel hurt for being bullied for no reason as a kid meanwhile the aggressive and mean boys who bullied weak shy kids (not just me) never got the treatment I received. My family was
abusive in general, like you know, hiding generational abuse from alcoholics, sexual abusers and narcissistic mothers. Do you think people like this genuinely try to 'reach out' to an autistic kid? Come on
No. 1677770
>>1677761So, alcoholics, sexual abusers, narcissistic mothers…. you forgot drug users I think. Poor you, a delicate and pure flower coming from such a horrible, horrible family.
I've seen real damaged families. I'm going out on a limb and assume yours is not one. Especially when they try to give you a wakeup call by calling you lazy and evil.
No, the weak don't deserve to die, pal. The weak need to discover they can be strong too. Life's a jungle. Welcome to the adult world.
(infighting) No. 1677774
>>1677770You're replying to the wrong anon now kek are you perhaps drunk?
MY family is really great, bunch of high functioning autists with cool nerdy jobs
No. 1677790
>>1677770>you forgot drug users I thinkAlcohol is technically defined as a depressant and generally considered as a drug though.
>The weak need to discover they can be strong tooI left my country to work abroad and traumatized myself into working in a noisy environment for 2 years, puking and shitting from stress basically every day, because I couldn't handle being around that many people and in an environment that was too overstimulating for me. I never lived off welfare. I strive to be 'better'. I also wasted many, many years on therapy and medical drugs that didn't do anything. But it sounds like to you better means more sociable but not everyone has to be sociable. I have the right to feel hurt for being abused by my family, who at the same time abused each other
No. 1677792
>>1677783>Heck, I bet if I were in the USA I'd be diagnosed as autistic too.So you're not even a diagnosed autist huh and I'm guessing you've then had none of the autism specific therapy that helps autists cope and deal with their autistic problems
>wants to help othersAssuming you're being genuine, what you're doing isn't helping anyone. You're being needlessly aggressive for no reason to assert your own view that some sort of vague "working hard" is the only solution to every problem. You have no idea what other anon will be doing to overcome the problems that stem from her autism or how hard she's worked in the past.
No. 1677845
>>1677812kek you sound immature. If you are not autistic what are you doing ITT? Of course you wouldn't understand the experience of completely freezing up in a social situation, while knowing you shouldn't behave that way because otherwise people are going to think you're retarded but
still being unable to change your behaviour. (Been there, done that, sucks being a non-retarded autistic kid with enough self awareness to notice you're doing wrong but lacking the skills to actually function).
No. 1678208
>>1677812So in conclusion:
>You're not diagnosed>You think only a quack could diagnose you>You think a diagnosis is just something people get to receive unfair special treatment they don't actually deserve>You don't need a diagnosis because you don't struggle with the symptoms of autism>You think autism is cured/bettered by just working hard, on your own and without professional support>You think kids today are just spoiled and receive any diagnosis they want just for asking for it>You think it's helping autists to call them lazy and evilI mean this in the nicest way possible: If you think others will turn out fine through getting constant abuse from "the real adult world" because that's what happend to you and you turned out fine… then you did in fact
not turn out fine yourself. And I'm sorry about that.
No. 1679691
>>1679650AYRT, and we sound quite similar, kek. When I was in a gaming fandom years ago, I was that "well ACKSHULLY" nerd correcting everyone on the canon and knowing way too much about the minutiae of the story. I ended up accidentally insulting some other fans when they asked me how their fanfic was, and I said the characterisation was way off and they basically destroyed the established canon just to make the two male leads fuck, KEK. I didn't realise that you're basically meant to lie in that situation and act like it's good. Normal people are so fucking weird for that, honestly. I also love cats and ended up as an addict when I was trying to be social. I'm in recovery for heroin (and other opioids) and booze. I actually met my wife who is also autistic through AA and NA. On the surface, marriage can make me
almost normie passing, but my marriage only works because I married a fellow sperg. We naturally clicked together without any lengthy explanations about why we are the way we are. Well, obviously we talked about our habits and how to get our lives in sync, but it wasn't like the seminars I had to give in previous relationships. I also live a pretty lowkey life. Most of my hobbies are solitary or something I do with my wife. We've settled into a really nice pace of life where we both have the routine that we need so badly but we also do try to work on ourselves so we don't become jaded and bitter like
>>1678225 mentioned. I'm glad you're happy though, nona! I think the one "good" thing about autism is that we're often genuinely happy with what others would deem a "boring" life. It took me a while to shake loose the "I must socialise and pretend I'm normal" shackles, but I'm glad I did. Life is great now.
>>1679680I've always been quite twitchy and go full retard if my routine gets thrown off. I used to be quite hyper vigilant about anything that could disturb it - phone calls, emails, people visiting, etc - but I've tried working on stopping that behaviour with limited success. I hate the unknown to the extent that I'll put off watching new films/tv shows, playing new games or reading new books because they're unfamiliar to me, and unfamiliarity = mental discomfort for me. I do go into fight or flight quite easily, but I think that's mostly my PTSD.
No. 1679720
>>1679708I was
>>1679691>I used to be quite hyper vigilant about anything that could disturb it - phone calls, emails, people visiting, etc Damn that's resonating with me. I got hysterical every time we had guests, I would hide under the table and scream etc. I also didn't like my own birthdays because of that reason and I would hide in a wardrobe because that was the only quiet place, and when I got a little older I would just run away from the house to the garden. I also hated the sound of the phone ringing, it was extremely stressful, especially when we still had a landline phone. After a while I just started to disconect it from the cable kek so nobody could call us and my mom was furious with me. I liked to walk around the table in our living room for hours and nobody could stop me from doing this, I also used to headbang against the wall a lot when I was overstimulated and back then the family doctor told my mom I would just grow out of this. Yeah sure… Now I just hit my head with my fist and only when I know nobody sees me and it still helps
No. 1679740
>>1679720AYRT and I also used to hit my head on the wall as a kid when overstimulated. As I grew up, I shifted to open palm slapping my head with both hands, but had to stop that after having a brain tumour removed. It took much longer then it should've to quit though, gave myself a lot of horrible headaches in the process. I've got a heavy bag in my garage that stays up 24/7 now, so I can go to town on it whenever I'm overstimulated. It's not a perfect cure though, as I often punch walls in true 'tard rage fashion. I can't explain why, but that sharp feeling of pain is just
so soothing and relaxing to me. It's like a bunch of valium washed down with whisky, but it goes straight to my brain and calms me down.
No. 1680153
>>1679691AYRT, it is such a breath of fresh air to hear someone like me living a happy life! i hope all is well for you and your wife, that’s literally my dream.
>>1679679respectfully nona, do you have reading comprehension skills? i literally said that doctors wanted to diagnose me with autism since i was young but me (and my parents) were against it. it’s not that i call my mom every once in a while, it’s that i lack independence. i lack social skills. i sperg out about fucking 17th century art specifically. like honestly, do you want people to be in this thread saying how they have an autistic meltdown in the grocery store because the crackers got moved slightly to the left? or because the mailman talked to them for 5 minutes too long and now their routine got thrown off completely? i know we hate the tiktok and troon munchies that glorify autism, but let’s remember what the female symptoms of autism are.
https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/women-autism-spectrum-disorder/202104/10-key-signs-autism-in-women No. 1681364
>>1679695I didn't mind fantastical elements in movies for the most part, I instead nitpicked people who nitpicked the movies lmao
Because to me it was ridiculous when someone would complain on just one unrealistic aspect but then not ALL of them. Like using your example say when someone was just mad that the lions presented their baby to the other animals and them caring didn't make sense, but then they would be fine with the basic premise of "talking lions". That sort of inconsistency bothered me more than the movies. To me you would either accept the world of talking lions being unrealistic by default, or you should expect it to be a fictional but mostly accurate nature documentary.
I did specifically dislike most disney movies (and other musicals) because to me it didn't make sense that they kept singing in the middle of everything. I always thought the songs were bad, with (very) few exclusions because I hated "kids songs" in general and felt they were dumb and demeaning. Whenever I was watching a disney movie on my own I'd just fast-forward through the songs.
No. 1681575
File: 1693318982718.gif (2.71 MB, 480x270, trex.gif)
>>1681431You mean these bad boys?
No. 1681588
>>1681376When I was little: Quoting lines from movies or shows without really knowing what they meant to try to script out irl conversations.
Apparently it's a common autistic trait to mimic words and phrases without understanding their meaning but just because it's associated with the situation playing out that one has seen from media before.
No. 1681625
>>1681376Getting overstimulated by my own hair kek
If it gets tangled or won't cooperate I get really upset and have a bit of a meltdown which usually involves me hitting myself in the head with the brush a few times. It also drives me crazy when it's even the slightest bit greasy, it's all I can focus on all day until I can get home and wash it. I know it sounds extra retarded when I type it out like that but I can't help it kek. I hated brushing my hair as a child too because it would get tangled easily and was always really painful for me when my mum would try to comb it out so I avoided it all together.
As for denial? Nope, only within the past year or two I've slowly come to realize I'm somewhere on the spectrum or an aspie. To me it feels good knowing there's most likely a reason why I feel so behind other people my age. Also, it reminds me that I shouldn't get sad and compare myself to them because I'm not really normal and never will be.
No. 1681929
>>1681376Cataloguing random shit for no real purpose other than the joy of writing out my silly little lists. I collected toy cars when I was little and had a notebook full of their make, model, BHP, etc. I would then pit my toy cars against each other in imaginary races and I would write up how I thought it would go. I loved thinking about different terrains, FWD vs RWD vs 4WD and all the little details that would affect the races. I tracked sport statistics in a similar fashion, which has actually turned into a career for me, and when I started playing video games I would "get into the mind of the character" and plot the most realistic playthrough. I actually still do that one now, kek. I just love facts and statistics and making predictions based off them. I just thought it meant I was a mega nerd (which, ok, is true), I didn't realise that until a few years after my diagnosis that a lot of other autists also do similar things.
No. 1682559
>>1681376This is a rather common one but I used to pretend to laugh along my classmates so they wouldn't laugh at me for not understanding a joke. Now I just suck it up and look
really stupid in front of my friends. I accidentally thought a friend was antivaxx recently in a misreading/understanding.
No. 2320787
File: 1735169007463.jpg (56.21 KB, 500x496, bb2f8da95726b7f8c122ed784c640a…)
Not diagnosed and probably never will be but I have a question for you all. Is it possible for an autist to be overly animated as opposed to being emotionally flat and is there a term for this? I identify as the former and know of a confirmed female autist who is the same but I don't know if there's like a specific word for the type of autistic person who expresses intense emotions on a near socially inappropriate level. I also have way too much empathy which goes in hand with being overly naive and trusting of other people. But in terms of facial expressions, whenever someone takes a candid photo of me speaking, it always looks insane like picrel.
A surprise month of Hellmas is now in effect. For the rest of the month of December, VPN posting will be banned.