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File: 1720217124601.jpg (45.88 KB, 739x415, images-4.jpg)

No. 2079266

A sister thread to the regular internet paranoia thread >>>/ot/2078297 since that one is more about enabling it than helping it. For those of us whose internet fear and need to not be perceived has affected us so much that it may cause a hindrance in our lives, and how to get better from it. Optional questions:
>When did you start noticing you may have internet paranoia and what do you think caused it?
>Do you feel like you have a legit reason to be afraid, or are you just cautious?
>Is there any specific scenario you are afraid of happening?
>Has this impacted your real life in any way? Is there any unhealthy behavior you may have noticed?
>Has someone confronted you about it?
>How did you get better? How do you control the fear?
>Do you still curate your online presence or take any additional measures?
Disclaimer: This is not a thread to shit on cyber security. This is a thread for those of us whose hypervigilance got taken to extreme degrees and now the fear has taken over.

No. 2079272


>When did you start noticing you may have internet paranoia and what do you think caused it?

I think it all started on /cgl/, the way people criticized cosplays and jfashion really got to me. When lolcow was created I just switched over here, and things ramped up. Lolcow made me hypervigilant and I just can't switch to being a normie on the internet any longer. Even my online friendships need to be curated. Inside my head I see myself like I would a cow and I criticize myself for everything. "If people only knew about XYZ and all the mistakes I've done, and all the shit I've caused" is what I tell myself. I have days when I keep telling myself someone will inevitably make a thread on me someday, I can recognize that's probably just my fear talking but fears can be irrational like that.
>Do you feel like you have a legit reason to be afraid, or are you just cautious?
I just see myself as a shitty person. I criticize things that could very well apply to myself because guess what, I hate myself. I'm friends with anons here but also friends with people with social media presences, I keep fantasizing that one click would be all it could take.
>Is there any specific scenario you are afraid of happening?
Not being able to work in my dream job.
>Has this impacted your real life in any way? Is there any unhealthy behavior you may have noticed?
Yes. I have no friends, I can't be asked to take pictures, I have pissed off some people because I delete my accounts and my messages out of caution. They think I'm iffy even though it's not like I'm hiding anything, I'm simply being cautious. My partner hates me when I do this and so does their family.
>Has someone confronted you about it?
Yes. My partner. They think I need help.
>How did you get better? How do you control the fear?
I haven't gotten over it yet.
>Do you still curate your online presence or take any additional measures?
I do but I let myself loose sometimes thinking nothing wrong could ever happen but then I get paranoid again.

No. 2079289

File: 1720218947981.jpg (504.97 KB, 3397x2250, spider-macro-fight-nutritional…)

>When did you start noticing you may have internet paranoia and what do you think caused it?
Probably all the years I've spent on this website (almost 10) and how women get criticized for very minor things. I'm not the prettiest, nor the best human being, and people scare me.
>Do you feel like you have a legit reason to be afraid, or are you just cautious?
I want to do art as a job, and to be noticed I need to have social media. I keep thinking about disappearing every other day.
>Is there any specific scenario you are afraid of happening?
All the shit I've done blasting on my face, even if said shit is just liking "problematic" things like a music artist or an anime. I try to be a decent human being outside those things I swear. I still fuck up, but at least I try.
>Has this impacted your real life in any way? Is there any unhealthy behavior you may have noticed?
Yes. I sometimes wonder if I should even be alive at this point. The fear has taken over so many times I don't even think I can be normal anymore. I'm not living a life, I'm not even joking, the fear has gotten so paralyzing that I'm not doing what I love the most (art) because I'm just afraid. I can't take family pictures or even pictures with my boyfriend because I look ugly, and if someone sees those pictures they will be made fun of. In college, I would constantly have to cover my face at events because there was always some photographer there. I wish to have 0 things linked to me but that's unrealistic. I'm even wondering if having classmates on my only social media profile is worth it at all anymore, which will only isolate me more and feed the paranoia.
>Has someone confronted you about it?
Yes but I'd like to not talk about it, the situation hurt me a lot and I'm still processing it.
>How did you get better? How do you control the fear?
Not sure kek but looking forward for tips from other nonnies itt!
>Do you still curate your online presence or take any additional measures?
Yeah but I've already written so much I'm lazy to elaborate.

No. 2079335

The thread for me? I spent years having paranoid fits, lost all my friends, nuked my internet presence and had near daily panic attacks over dumb shit I said as a teen. Googled my full name daily to see if I had been dooxed. Eventually it faded away, still don’t have a net presence though. I would recommend this article:

https://americanmind.org/features/life-after-cancellation/how-to-survive-cancellation/

No. 2079446

>a second thread
This is so dumb. You don't need to heal from recognizing that the internet is not a good or safe space

No. 2079463

>>2079446
It's a legit phobia to me and it has ruined my entire relationships so I don't know what to tell you

No. 2079470

>>2079446
If you get harassed and stalked online and had a social media addiction, yes it can be traumatizing. Some of us didn't know when to stop when it was good for us and it was damaging.

No. 2079473

>>2079470
>Some of us didn't know when to stop when it was good for us and it was damaging.
Nta, what do you mean?

No. 2079477

>>2079473
I basically developed an internet addiction that worsened my descent into madness. I felt enslaved to the internet to the point where it was no longer fun. My stupidity spiraled me out into a dangerous situation online that I really blame myself for and I'm pretty sure someone was trying to get me to kill myself by harassing me into mental ruin. But I kept going at it and poking the bear, only making my situation worse. This kind of spiral has undoubtedly happened to other people I'm sure, it's just like any other form of addiction

No. 2079502

>>2079477
>But I kept going at it and poking the bear, only making my situation worse.
Was it because of paranoia, or did the paranoia come after? For me I wonder if being too paranoid is exactly what is affecting me the most.

No. 2079536

File: 1720253143104.jpeg (34.11 KB, 500x334, IMG_9900.jpeg)

>>2079266
Ah, the thread for me. I’ve been ‘cancelled’ on a couple of different occasions. Both times, I had to delete my account and flee. Now it’s become a routine, knee-jerk reaction to even the slightest conflict. I don’t understand nonas who can just ‘ignore it’. To make matters worse, I recently deleted yet another account: however, I actually made some really good friends on this one, was in a lovely community and had fun interactions. There was no trigger; it was all my choice to leave. I’m tired of it, but equally, I can’t fight the urge to vanish. I’m discreetly contacting some of those mutuals through discord, but it’s not enough. I need to disappear entirely. The itch is still there. But I know I’ll end up making a new account eventually, and so the cycle continues…

No. 2079555

>>2079536
I feel like this way of behaving has a lot to do with Avoidant Personality Disorder or other Cluster C traits, do you relate at all to that? From what I can tell if you are faced with enough negative social experiences and you have a certain personality type you will eventually succumb to the fear of future negative interactions. Eventually it becomes this negative feedback loop where you have no positive examples for past social interactions so you keep repeating the negative example. Also the more people you cut out from your life the easier it becomes.
It's so weird because I've had this instict to cut people out for my entire life, I feel like it started at the end of middle school. I had bad experiences in middle school and I saw the act of cutting people out as a huge liberation. Ever since then I've done it to so many people, both groupings and individual. It's weird because I'm not a sociopath who doesn't care about the people I bond with, in fact I care very much about them while we're friends but once something snaps inside of me I just cannot continue the relationship

No. 2079559

>>2079555
It can also be an insecure attachment style, like disorganized or fearful-avoidant. In some cases, disorganized attachment style can be linked to BPD. CBT and DBT and working with irrational thought patterns could help, it has helped me in the past but it kind of always circles back.

No. 2079571

>>2079555
Not sure about APD, but I do have diagnosed ADHD. I know that rejection dysphoria(?) overlaps with ADHD; not to mention the fact that I get ridiculous dopamine highs from positive interactions that make everything in my life seem worse in comparison, which only makes me want to cut off social media friends even more. Oh, and impulsivity, of course. Deleting stuff on a whim. I know the cause of this problem, I just don’t know how to solve it kek

No. 2079607

File: 1720263698238.jpg (41.51 KB, 564x592, 0f75a14de90953b13fca7bdecb0860…)

>When did you start noticing you may have internet paranoia and what do you think caused it?
When I was backstabbed by one of my closest friends I knew in hs, she had a nasty habit of calling out people by carefully stalking their socials and I was a victim of this. She was incredibly skilled in finding out your posts, online info, and everything she could use to "expose" you online (funny that she rarely did this irl). Her socials are empty and tend to be wiped clean of anything milky even though her personality is quite problematic irl.
Like I had said before, I was a victim and because of this I changed from a semi-poster to going fully MIA on my socials…I only use them to keep in touch with my uni friends and keep up with the news atp.
>Do you feel like you have a legit reason to be afraid, or are you just cautious?
A little bit of both yes but I was very paranoid back then.
>Is there any specific scenario you are afraid of happening?
Maybe when they try to hurt me and my friends? I guess? or when ppl from my hs/family found out about my online presence.
>Has this impacted your real life in any way? Is there any unhealthy behavior you may have noticed?
Nope
>How did you get better? How do you control the fear?
Tbh I just accept it as part of my life now, I was lowkey then and I am still very lowkey now. It didn't change much, I did this for my own safety.
>Do you still curate your online presence or take any additional measures?
Kinda, I didn't post anything online anymore and became a 100% lurker. I don't even use my real name anymore in case someone from my past found out.

No. 2079743

>When did you start noticing you may have internet paranoia and what do you think caused it?
It's been with me since 2013 probably?
>Do you feel like you have a legit reason to be afraid, or are you just cautious?
I wanna keep my job, family, and friend safe. With all these TRAs and their queer lackeys doxxing and harassing people, you can never be less legitimate in your fears. It's human.
>Is there any specific scenario you are afraid of happening?
I'm by no means famous, but if I were, getting cancelled at such a wide scale that finding work would be impossible. I'd might as well disappear from the face of the earth if that were to happen.
>Has this impacted your real life in any way? Is there any unhealthy behavior you may have noticed?
No because the internet isn't the real world. Most have lives, so why should they care what somebody does in obscure web forum?
>Has someone confronted you about it?
not really. I had a few slip ups like stating a terf fact out in the open but have since went quiet after the fact. Big mistake, but I've learn to pick my battles.
>How did you get better? How do you control the fear?
That's the interesting part, the fear still exist but I brace through it like i've always had.
>Do you still curate your online presence or take any additional measures?
I've tried but frankly, finding a sane put together human in this hellscape is nearly astronomical in scope. Can't even settle for a verification or some means to verify for sure somebody's a woman. Following non-western user is the best option for now but hopefully less pozzed folks do exist, you just have to find them.

No. 2080370

>When did you start noticing you may have internet paranoia and what do you think caused it?
Being stalked and threatened online by an insane person for years. I want to describe it because it was really fucked and is a good warning but, i'm paranoid (and it puts me in a bad mood). I'm mostly over this now but i'm still hypervigilant as a result. Also, one of my old classmates found some anon account i had by skimming my friends' personal accounts. None of my friends followed me on said account but he somehow found it. I asked him how he did it but he wouldn't tell me kek. Funny thing is, i like e-stalking classmates and old friends too, so i can't act haughty here. Nothing came out of this but it was a good reminder that it's hard to separate your online personas
>Do you feel like you have a legit reason to be afraid, or are you just cautious?
Half-legit
>Is there any specific scenario you are afraid of happening?
Not really, i'm lucky that i live in a place where firing people over posts isn't a thing and privacy laws are really stringent.
>How did you get better? How do you control the fear?
I often tell myself i'm responsible for what i do and have to accept whatever comes at me. I've accepted that there's no such thing as true anonymity or even safety from e-stalking and genuinely dangerous things. It's still important to try your best at cybersecurity, but i've come to terms with reality. The internet feels pretty lonely and sometimes suffocating as a result but i'd rather be mentally prepared for anything. I don't get attached to online circles or followings, the only people who matter are people i talk to directly or have met IRL.
>Do you still curate your online presence or take any additional measures?
I only vent or talk casually on private accounts or IBs. I've had a few slip ups here and there and things i regret (posting personal pictures mainly) but all of that is over now. VPN use is a must. I try to not use identical or near-identical things (facts, anecdotes, certain words or phrases..) across platforms. I want to eventually go back to my lurking-only ways and have zero tangible presence online but it's hard

No. 2082309

File: 1720479146505.jpg (109.16 KB, 1960x1080, 93iuffshbit21-1292186216.jpg)

I don't think I should aspire to create the dream life I wanted anymore. I wanted to do comics, animations, paintings, sculptures. I'm not cut out for it. The paranoia won. I will get cancelled one way or another even if I stay low.

No. 2082390

>>2082309
Men commit felonies and still have careers. Just don't give a fuck and literally never acknowledge it. I don't think anything truly bad (such as irl harassment) happens to people who literally just act like they aren't being canceled.

No. 2082395

>>2082390
What about addyharajuku though? What if I like scrotal anime like Madoka

No. 2082402

>>2082395
anon you have got to be 13 or something, plus madoka is very popular with girls

No. 2082404

>>2082395
What are you even trying to say kek, addyharajuku has not been cancelled afaik. Putting things online means someone will at some point talk negatively about it. Even widely beloved media has haters. Just don't share anything but your art publically and you'll be fine.

No. 2082405

>>2082395
I bet you think Sailor Moon is scrotey too

No. 2082412

>>2082405
>>2082402
>>2082404
What if I like Madoka, Melanie Martinez and I have anime figures though? Lolcow is inevitably going to make a thread about me, please don't laugh I'm being serious about my paranoia. Also my bf is ugly and so am I

No. 2082415

>>2082412
Those are cringe but other nonnies don't have room to talk, I like similar trashy music too. You can also not post selfies online.

No. 2082417

>>2079555
ntayrt but I relate with your second paragraph. I feel so much comfort in not being trackable from someone I used to know, both online and offline.

No. 2082419

>Do you still curate your online presence or take any additional measures?
Nope, I erased my online personal history/social media accounts and that’s really the only solution that’s helped keep me from descending into fits of extreme anxiety. I know I probably hurt a lot of peoples feelings when I ghosted my old friends, and sometimes it still keeps me up at night when I think about the fact that I shared my insecurities with them and they kind of got to know the real me. I scrubbed my online shit and that’s what’s helped me the most.

No. 2082426

>>2079266
just turn off the computer and walk away? dont post your life on the internet and just stay anonymous. The internet is filled with too many maladaptive people that have too much time on your hands, and given how easy cyber stalking is nowadays it's not worth having any kind of social media account anymore.

No. 2082434

>>2082412
girl…. none of those things make you deserving of a thread here. we don’t have the space for every weeb with an ugly bf

No. 2082441

File: 1720491674541.jpg (113.34 KB, 680x680, FoBoSTEakAEx3_w.jpg)

>>2082434
But what if I draw sad animecore art like this and someone thinks it's sinister and calls me a pedo

No. 2082442

>>2082441
You're getting mentioned once or twice in art salt but a few anons will defend you because you're not a moid so it can't be sinister, that's it. Getting mentioned on lolcow is not even close to being cancelled.

No. 2082473

>>2082441
No offense, but have you looked at /snow/? Nearly all of the women there are pickmes, abusers, tradthots, porn addicts, moid enablers, AKA they did something to deserve being gossiped about. I've had my cute art misinterpreted as sinister and I just blocked them, it didn't affect me in the long run. Maybe you should look into medication or just not post online after all if you're too scared of being mentioned anonymously.

No. 2082508

>>2082441
I got mentioned once on LC for mild cringe, the comment was funny and made me laugh. It's really not that bad. Unless you're a severely dysfunctional exhibitionist you'll be fine. By the way, paranoia has a narcissistic side to it (not judging you, it's a general fact). Liking scrotal anime and non-explicit small anime girl art is not that special

No. 2082509

>>2082473
>I've had my cute art misinterpreted as sinister
wish I could see it, it sounds cool
>>2082508
>By the way, paranoia has a narcissistic side to it (not judging you, it's a general fact)
nta, explain

No. 2082513

>>2082508
Was it cringe art or sth else?

No. 2082531

>>2079289
>I'm not living a life, I'm not even joking, the fear has gotten so paralyzing that I'm not doing what I love the most (art) because I'm just afraid.
My goal is to stop being so worried about what people will see and start posting my art, just to see. The worst that would happen is people are mean, but I can block them and delete comments. The best that would happen is art could be my career or a solid side hustle. I wish we could link up and support each other posting.
>I can't take family pictures or even pictures with my boyfriend because I look ugly, and if someone sees those pictures they will be made fun of. In college, I would constantly have to cover my face at events because there was always some photographer there.
Nona! This makes me so sad. Women face too much pressure to look good and I hope you can be freed soon. Maybe take some ugly pics of yourself to start, they have no power if you don’t let them. My family is very looks-oriented (my dad is a plastic surgeon) and I have finally gotten to the point where I’m rejecting a lot of it (late 20’s). I stopped wearing makeup about 3 years ago, recently stopped shaving my legs and armpits (3 months), and around the time I stopped wearing makeup I just stopped caring what photos look like. I hate the gathering around the phone, zooming in on your face and then saying “I hate it!” and trying hard in the next photo to look good. It’s too much strife for something so fleeting as appearances. Most people just look at themselves. Plus, I find joy here laughing at how ridiculous bad people look in photos. If somebody wants to zoom in on my naked face and laugh at me, I’m bringing them joy (and I know they’re a bitch like me kek).

No. 2082533

>>2082509
Nta but I’d imagine it has to do with thinking you’re more important/significant/worth targeting than others. Like people care so much about you that they would start a hate campaign over you. Like >>2082473 said, they people on /pt/ and /snow/ are not just people who make sort of cringe art, they have real moral vacancies.

No. 2082538

>>2082531
Ayrt if you want, you could leave a post in the friend finder thread

No. 2082540

>>2082533
>they have real moral vacancies.
Nta, I wonder how many people have skeletons in their closet that, if uncovered, would guarantee them a thread.

No. 2082574

>>2079502
The paranoia existed to some extent but it got much much worse. I'm still really afraid people are going to find my other accounts (mostly dead) and posts on other sites, tie things together and then things will worsen if they try and frame ME as a stalker. I'm surprised it hasnt happened yet

No. 2082581

>>2082509
>>2082533
Yep, precisely.

No. 2082583

>>2082309
I'm on a similar situation except I don't exactly fear about being cancelled, I'm just a very private person. I feel like I've lurked so long in the meantime to improve on my art that I realized I don't actually really want that easily accessible attention online. It's frustrating because I have moments of wanting to share my art online because I genuinely want to make people happy to see it, but then I also feel like I'd be like those artists that stick around for a moment then entirely nuke their account and go with a new alias. Sucks that I also am very posessive of my work too, especially digital artwork.

No. 2082674

Is it considered internet paranoia if I now assume most men I come into contact with have horribly hateful opinions of women like what I see online or is that just being realistic?

No. 2082742

>>2082508
It is not narcissistic to acknowledge that technology has gone entirely too far. Men are sexual terrorists and have been given a tool to goon and coom at the expense of women and children and evidently we are all supposed to pretend to be aloof and cool about the fact that AI can make porn of you.

No. 2082827

>>2082412
Are you retarded? There isn't a law saying you need to put photos of your figure collection online and attach your name and/or face to it. Fucking hell, how retarded do you have to be to think that we'd make a thread on you for being a braindead weeb? Addyharajuku is a cringey virtue signalling hypocrite who's online 24/7. She's entertaining. You don't have to be. Going 'uwu b-but I am so sowwy for being cwinge, uguuuuu, ablooobloo, pls halp, kyaaa' is only getting you asspats here because you sound like you genuinely have a room temperature IQ. Absolutely nobody gives a fuck about the cringe shit you post online for your 4 followers to see. Unless you're as attention seeking elsewhere are you are in this thread, I can confidently tell you that you're fine.
Please try to use your brain sometimes. It's hard but you'll get there.

No. 2083075

>>2082419
Real. Had to do the same to find peace. I went as far as to report and erase every mention. I even clear up my anonymous accounts every now and then.
I noticed there is just is much triggering stuff on social media anyway. You want to read on one issue and the algorithm will flood you and try to push you in a certain niche. I just can't emotionally deal with it. I hate the idea of being associated with some things even if I agree with them. I hate the idea that people perceive me through these associations. I like it best when I spend as little time on social media as possible.

No. 2083585

>>2082674
I think a lot of men do have those thoughts, even if they are only occasional, and they are still concerning even if they are occasional. I don't know for certain, but I think a 'healthy amount' of paranoia is okay. For example, any moid could be a predator, you might not know it until it's too late. It's better to be wary. For example, I might call myself friends with a moid, but I would never go hiking alone with a 'friend moid', like I would go hiking alone with a woman. Sure, probably nothing would happen, but if something did happen, it feels like everyone would blame me for it (i.e., even normies will say shit like, 'why did she go with him?'.)
I think the meta is to be neutrally friendly with people until they give you a reason not to be, but to be cautious and keep an eye on others.

No. 2084850

File: 1720668264559.jpg (43.72 KB, 403x525, 2275ac9e44c74ec674fb2461b487b3…)

>When did you start noticing you may have internet paranoia and what do you think caused it?
I noticed mid last year after a mild breakdown, I think it was caused by years of being really into retarded internet drama via Kiwifarms and lolcow so I feel like I have a target painted on my back at all times.

>Do you feel like you have a legit reason to be afraid, or are you just cautious?

Yes and no. From childhood my mother has instilled a fear in me of my violent father finding out where we live and killing us, which has only gotten worse as he is currently out of prison and MIA. As a result I'm terrified of being doxxed because of stupid internet drama. On the other side of the coin I'm also scared of people cataloguing me and talking behind my back and using sock puppet accounts to manipulate me, which is mostly unfounded. There's also some OCD tier superstitions where I can't do or say things online because it would cause something bad to happen in my real life, ranging from mild misfortune or injury and death, which has been reinforced by said bad things happening hours or days after talking about certain things.

>Is there any specific scenario you are afraid of happening?

Like I've said, parent murdering me and underhanded manipulation, as well as ominous bad things.

>Has this impacted your real life in any way? Is there any unhealthy behavior you may have noticed?

In the past yes, like that time I was paranoid that somehow people were tracking me and putting nerve agents on things that they knew I'd touch so I'd wear disposable gloves and clean all my groceries in the sink and avoid handling anything in public and avoiding eating food from any source that wasn't me. It was a bizarre few months. Currently, not really it makes me feel mildly depressed and lonely because I live in a rural butt hole and have no one to talk to except online. I also feel like I lack personality because I play so many roles online and that I'm a particularly vile and hateful person as I don't believe the description of "nice" or "kind" so many people give me. A bad behavior that I've noticed is that I don't really think of other people online as people, more like an vn character that I can prod into acting or perceiving me in a certain. Another is just cutting people off when they get too friendly, I'm not really sure why I do it. I also can't handle mild arguments that aren't anonymous and immediately go into grovelling mode when I feel like I've upset someone.

>Has someone confronted you about it?

No, not really. People generally treat me with kid gloves if the topic of mental illness comes up regarding me because I can get stupid and reactive, at least I think that's the reason. I wish someone would.

>How did you get better? How do you control the fear?

Kek, I haven't. I just compartmentalise everything and that puts me at ease.

>Do you still curate your online presence or take any additional measures?

I tend to completely change personas and twist facts about my life, if I ever talk about it, depending on what social media I use. I'll also grey rock and gently cut off people I feel are getting too close to me, and sometimes I'll have a complete melt down and intentionally try to hurt someone before ditching my accounts which is incredibly embarrassing and makes me feel incredibly shitty afterwards but I can never bring myself to apologise.

No. 2084852

>>2084850
Samefag, I know like asides from my father I don't think anyone gives a shit about me enough to do the psyops I'm terrified of, but it's a lingering fear I can't shake.



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