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File: 1549425753342.jpg (140.04 KB, 512x512, confess.jpg)

No. 368066

First-time threadmaker, hope it's k since last thread is full.

Confess and be free. (unless you're a piece of shit. then live with it)

No. 368070

i'm in my second-trimester of my first successful pregnancy (had two losses before this) and am starting to get anxiety about having a baby. my family and husband know that i'm at high risk for post-partum, as do i, but now the idea of actually being a mom scares me because i don't believe i'll be a good enough one. not only that, but every day i panic worrying that i'll lose this baby because of how the last two went, even though those were early on losses. adulthood is scary, man.

No. 368071

I was barely sad when my grandmother died. I still feel awful that 95% of what I felt was just relief.

She had Alzheimer's and dementia, was in a TON of pain daily from undiagnosed uterine cancer. we took her to the doctor a lot but they couldn't do a biopsy since she was in so much pain already, and no one would diagnose it without a biopsy. She was incredibly depressed and constantly talked about how she just wanted to die. Her husband had died years before her, her cat died, and she was just miserable, my mother treated her horribly (always blaming her for forgetting things, treating her like a misbehaving child constantly) and her main caretaker was the same way. I felt so bad for her.

I lived with her every summer for the last 3 years of her life and took a semester off school to stay with her when she couldn't be alone overnight anymore. I saw her in awful pain and I put up with some awful treatment from her as well. She was so sick and not acting like herself, but that didn't make it easier since I couldn't blame her and had to just take it.

I barely had a relationship with her when I was younger so this is the way I'll remember her. She went on hospice in late October, with morphine to help with the pain (which it barely did) and died ten days later. I haven't cried about it. I just felt a huge weight lifting off my shoulders. I know everyone grieves differently, but I find myself talking to her and explaining myself out loud when I'm alone in her house now. I want her to know I loved her and cared for her and just wanted to see her at peace finally.

No. 368078

Don't feel too bad about that. My aunt and my father both had/have alzheimer's. My aunt passed away three years ago and it was easily better as she was blind, in pain, and her husband had passed away just a month earlier. And now my father doesn't even realize I'm his child anymore. I sorta feel guilty that it'd be better if he passed on, so you're not alone.

No. 368087

File: 1549429397894.png (766.47 KB, 785x600, 11219050_511882658981351_59593…)

I want to draw stuff like this but I don't have the balls to go through with it…

No. 368089

I think most artists have anxieties about sharing artwork especially if its lewd but that is what pseudonyms are for. You get over it quick and if you don't just abandon the profile.

Similar scenario. My grandmother died recently as well. She had dementia and was very unwell. It was her time. I don't feel sad.

No. 368090

File: 1549430030567.gif (784.65 KB, 400x300, 2FUw61r19n9a_540.gif)

It really is, but I hope everything goes well for you anon!
You're never alone in these situations so don't let your anxiety get the best of you!

No. 368091

File: 1549430080274.jpg (76.01 KB, 750x916, large.jpg)

I have no drive in life; at least not a traditional one. I don't care about success. If I worked a minimum wage job my entire life, as long as it payed the bills, I'd be content. I don't care about traveling "to find myself." If I was stuck in my home country; I don't think I'd be any less enlightened. I don't care if I "find love;" I've found it more trouble than it's worth. If I get married and/or have kids, great, if not, great too. I don't care about owning a home, just having a place to stay. I don't care about my appearance, as far as other people perceive it, like weight or make up. I still take care of myself, and I love nice clothes, but I can also do without. As long as I am learning: usually reading about subjects that interest me, or creating art, I'm always content, if not happy. I have 0 friendships IRL and I don't care. I'm not anti-social or bitter either. I'm very extroverted, I just find there's a certain point I can no longer relate to others, and our relationships eventually fizzle. The other person just stops talking to me out of the blue and I move on.

Also, I can never understand people who constantly have problems and complain about them without making an effort. If you're an adult, you have no obligations to anyone, or any thing. If someone is a toxic piece of shit, or something isn't making you happy just fucking cut it out of your life. I'm referring to drama of course. Some things are harder to escape like a serious addiction or an abuser (for obvious psychological and safety reasons). It seems most people have self-made idiotic problems and it's part of the reason I just spend my life in my room reading/on the web, or hiking in nature. People often strip me of my joy and try to tear me down. I did let it for a while, but then I realized I am an autistic fuck and I like being that way. I don't know why I ever tried to change myself.

No. 368094

a strangely good post
bravo anon

No. 368145

10/10 wholesome post. Thanks anon.

No. 368312

in my country the cps have some pretty good courses for parents that involves learning what your infant is trying to communicate, how to read their esigns/emotions and how to meet their needs. I would strongly suggest seeking something like that out if its offered where you live, the courses are really helpful and you'll meet parents that are just as scares as you. I ´m rooting for you, anon, good luck!

No. 368317

strangely inspiring, anon, thank you

No. 368320

Life goals

No. 368322

File: 1549472393827.jpg (1001.82 KB, 1254x1080, the_ascension_by_jimmulvaney-d…)

No. 368330

As much as I find the furry community degenerate as hell, I don't really care or look down on a person for having some weird interests or fetishes if they're respectful about it and its legal. Most people who make fun of furries don't actually hate them.

No. 368332

This. I think certain kinks are gross/funny and mock them relentlessly, but I don't typically have hatred for the person who has them.

No. 368347

Get your money girl. Furries may be cringe but I'm sure you can make bank off of them since a lot of people seem to refuse to do that type of commission

No. 368384

have you guys learned nothing from all the furry cows? almost all furries are animal rapists or would be animal rapists, cmon.

No. 368393

You and I are very similar. I don't care about anything except reading books, learning new things, nature, and the occasional geeky interest. I don't talk to anyone irl or online because I also can't find anyone who connects with me so I stopped trying and damn it feels alright.

No. 368408

idk if this is okay to post here since it's possibly child sexual assault. I'm not even sure myself because I was so young and I still don't remember anything explicitly sexual happening. but I only realized recently (in the past year or so) and it's been weighing on my mind every day and creeps me the fuck out. I can't talk to anyone about it IRL, and I'm not sure I trust my therapist enough to open up to her about it.

My dad was hella emotionally/verbally abusive to my whole family including me throughout my entire childhood. I've been able to recognize it as abuse since I was 12 because he would irrationally accuse me of attacking him when I wasn't even speaking, so I learned to laugh most of it off. It terrified me when I was a toddler/young girl though.

In the past year or so though, I've started to have flashbacks to him being (accidentally?) physically abusive and possibly sexually as well. It's hard for me to determine because I'm only just regaining the memories and I was so young that I had no concept of sex at all, or pleasure from doing fucked up shit.

He used to come into my room to say goodnight and almost every night he would "crush" me, by getting fully on top of me and putting all of his weight on me. I was between like 3 and 6 during most of what I remember. I would scream and thrash and try to shove him off, making it very clear every time that I did not enjoy it, but of course he was so much stronger and heavier that I would pretty much just have to wait for him to get off of me. He seemed to think that it was funny/that I was exaggerating and really enjoyed it or something. I don't even know. Then he would blow in my ear (yes like that thing men do to women they are dating. like blowing warm air in my ear) and it would make me relax, because it was a natural reaction to a pleasant sensation. I have no idea if he just did it because he liked to feel me relax underneath him, or if he was getting some gross satisfaction from it or what.

One night he came in to "crush" me and I tried to fight him off, but he pushed all the air out of my lungs and I couldn't breathe. He was like 6'1 and at least 200 pounds and I was younger than 6 (I don't remember the exact age but I remember that house and how old I was when we moved in/out so it was somewhere between 3 and 6.) I had to lie there silently with tears streaming down my face, scared for my life, until he finally got off of me. He realized I was crying and gasping for air and he apologized profusely. I could tell he really felt bad about it and I just kept saying "I couldn't breathe. I couldn't breathe." and crying. It was awful. I don't remember if he ever "crushed" me after that.

Just writing this is making my whole body shake really badly. It makes me suspicious that I have repressed even worse memories that my body remembers even though my brain doesn't. Every time I think about this kind of stuff he did to me, I get uncontrollable convulsions.

Within the past month I sent him an email telling him I didn't want to talk to/see him again for a while as I go to therapy and try to process and heal from the shit he put me through throughout my whole childhood. He was very apologetic and agreed to give me space (which is a huge deal as ten years ago he would have just screamed and guilt tripped me for it.) So I'm hoping I can remember the things I shoved down into my subconscious. This was the first thing that popped into my mind completely out of the blue one day, and it makes me really nervous that it's just like a "starter" memory before I can recall even worse stuff. I'm not sure I want to remember. It's so complicated because I just can't know his motivations or why/how he enjoyed it. It honestly sickens me to think about. I hope that was the worst it ever got. I have three older sisters (am baby) and I'm terrified to bring it up to them in case it ever happened to them too. Or worse, that I was the only one going through it.

Sorry for long post. I've never told anyone this before and it all kind of just spilled out as I can't keep it all in anymore.

No. 368412

Sorry doublepost but I just want to clarify: I don't mean it would be "worse" if my sisters didn't suffer with me. I would be glad it wasn't happening to them too. It would just suck if I opened up to them and they were all like "wtf no that never happened to me holy shit" and I had to admit he was targeting me as the youngest and most vulnerable/least able to fight him off.

No. 368429

i am deeply sorry you have these memories, anon. this is horrible and disturbing. i sincerely hope you can find a great therapist so you can process all this. best wishes, girl

No. 368437

Sending love and strength to you anon. I'm so sorry for the confusion and fear you're undoubtedly feeling rn. All the best to you in your pursuit of therapy, and ultimately, peace.

No. 368501

best of luck, anon, you're doing good going to therapy

No. 368530

i used to be extremely scared of this episode of bagpuss when i was around 5 to the point of crying and having nightmares about it, it still gives me the creeps and im not sure why.

No. 368540

File: 1549497038893.jpg (33.78 KB, 697x698, Lucien7.jpg)

I used to read lots of romantic Oblivion fanfiction as a youngster. I liked stuff about Lucien Lachance, Janus Hassildor, Vicente Valtieri, and the Adoring Fan.

No. 368543

y? what attracted u to these ugly, uncanny individuals?

No. 368546

File: 1549498182927.png (671.62 KB, 526x640, dabf4b83daca00381c37846c244c8f…)

Lots and lots of autism I think. At least in my teens I upgraded to Dragon Age boys. That is until Skyrim came out and I went through a Cicero phase.

No. 368558

Ha, me too anon. I had such a cringy obsession with that weird ass clown, ew. None of my irl friends were having it kek.

No. 368564

I shot the sheriff.

No. 368575

At least you didn't shoot the deputy.

No. 368634

havent spoken to my grandma in almost 9 years. Shes the only one in my family who was always kind and supportive of me, but I always put off visiting her because a chunk of my family is disgusted with my gf and i and the fact that my life has been a consistent shitshow and I feel ashamed knowing how she always thought highly of me when i was younger

Im just terrified of her passing. Ive never experienced a death close to me before, the concept hardly even seems real. I dont want to regret not seeing her more and I feel like a coward for never calling or showing up. I just dont know how to go about it at this point anymore

No. 368643

this happened to me, anon. fly her out to see you instead. don't let her disappear like that! it was too late for me, don't let her slip away! god i'm going to cry now…

No. 368679

Anon, it’s going to be so awkward, but you know what to do. Your grandmother will be overcome with joy to hear from you, I’m sure. It sounds like you both love each other very much. Do that for yourself, or you’ll regret it forever.

No. 368682

Wew where do I begin
I'm a sex addict and literally have a guy I fuck every day of the week
I've been buddy hopping at the same time as well as fucking a cop who arrested me 2 years ago in a different county, I'm also fucking my neighbor

I'm not even ashamed, I openly brag about it to my co-workers while simultaneously talking about how much I hate men including the guys I'm fucking, funniest part is despite my male hating ways they always come crawling back

No. 368689

You do you anon, but telling your co-workers about your sex life sounds cringy. Have some dignity.

No. 368691

Tell me these are at least guys you've known and are familiar?
Can't imagine rewarding randos with sex when you actually don't like them anyway, just seems how should I put it, hateful on yourself?

No. 368721

File: 1549529282619.jpg (37.32 KB, 890x960, heavy.jpg)

I have a little plushie of a sleeping dog. I hold it to my boob and pretend it's a baby nursing. It's incredibly calming and I do it every day. I don't know what's wrong with me, but it's so relaxing that the weirdness doesn't stop me.

No. 368735

I wouldn't mind it if I had a boyfriend who had a foot fetish, although everyone is disgusted by that. Imagine him washing your feet and then carrying you like a princess to bed so your feet don't get dirty again and then doing idk whatever he wants to. Except if he likes dirty feet in which case I take everything back, that's disgusting.
Alistair was my first husbando and I never finished the game so that nobody would die and they all still happily sit in their little camp in my save (except for Morrigan because nobody likes her)

No. 368739

I miss the library at my HS. It had so much variety. I discovered so many neat graphic novels, coming of age/young adult books, and even fascinating psychology/sociology content. I still have a book about body dysmorphia I borrowed, then thought I lost. I'd return it, but I already paid the loss fee, lmao.
I'd feel awkward as fuck going back just to "hang out", considering I graduated in 2017, but it really was one of the best places. I wish my depression wasn't too thick to take more advantage of it back then.

No. 368750

File: 1549536018058.png (2.13 MB, 1900x2000, zpqnmw7fshuy.png)

i still think about the anon who was sperging about how people should dress up when going outside and the example photo that she posted that looked like a low budget school play gnome costume/snufkin cosplay.

No. 368758

same, I personally am not into feet but I think it's cute when others are, wouldn't mind dating a guy like that. in general, non-typically-sexualised body part worship is sorta hot to me

No. 368760

I love this post.. sometimes it really annoys me how some people just can't understand that some of us just don't care about being liked by everyone or being around lots of people
Being happy on your own/with only a few friends is ok
being happy where you are is ok too

No. 368815

A similar thing happened to me. My grandma was the only one in my family who was kind to me and my sister, even though the rest of my father's side hates our guts because they hate our mother (idiotic family feuds started since our birth, I don't care about those fucktards). When she was dying we went to see her one last time. The aunts, uncles and cousins were there and I can't describe the look of sheer hate in their eyes when they saw us. Still, we sent them away from the room and said goodbye to our grandma. She was also the first death close to me I've ever experienced, and yes, it was hard. But at least I don't have the regret of not having seen her to say goodbye.
Go see her

No. 369051

Besides regaining my emotional health, dignity, time, and money, the best effect of my breakup is that I no longer have to clean out my car to rid of the nasty cat hair and cigarette ash my ex trapsed in.
I think I got the last hairs out of my clothes finally too, thank fuck.

No. 369052

I said something malicious to a tranny in a thread, but for some reason, I felt like it was too mean and deleted it. I talk a lot of shit and get into stupid arguments, but I find it hard to really, truly hate people and desire to cut them down on a personal level. It just makes me feel too guilty. I don't know how people like Azealia Banks do it.
I feel like such a doormat. It sucks that I'm not "hard" enough for my mouth.

No. 369055

Same, in fact I feel a bit shitty to say anything mean to trannies (if they're nice, that is) because they're already mentally ill and probably on edge.

No. 369062

There is a difference between a transperson and a troon. Same as there is a difference between a person and a lolcow.

No. 369070

Yeah that's my philosophy as well.

No. 369082

Yeah, I get what you guys mean. It's very different saying things on the internet vs being face to face with an individual. I work at a store that sells women's clothing and the other day a woman and her TiM friend were shopping around and trying on stuff. I felt weirdly… guilty? even though obviously I didn't say or do anything rude and just treated them like I would any other customer. (It's retail, I get paid minimum wage to be here and hate every second of my life, I don't care if you're a dude in a dress as long as you're not being a fucking prick)

Like the other anons said, I guess I'm not too concerned with individual transgender people so much as the larger vocal online community which has so many creepy/predatory/mentally fucked people enabling each other. If you're transgender and just want to do your thing, whatever, live your life and I'll live mine.

No. 369083

This way of thinking really needs to die.

No. 369085

I have a test tommorrow and havent studied at all

I cant make any excuses, Im just lazy as shit

No. 369089

No. 369103

Colorful contribution, thank you.

No. 369153

Bell Delphine has a very punchable face and those fake braces aren’t helping, She looks like a goddamn caricature trying to look anime that it’s hard for me to believe that she’s human when she defaults to agehao all the goddamn time.

No. 369166

well she edits her face to look more anime too so that def doesnt help

No. 369168

i admire this level of absolute delusion in the face of reality. life must be easy for you.

No. 369213

Lmao personally I do find belle really cute face-wise but I also know there is a lot of photoshop involved. Still, she is one of the costhots whose fame make sense to me overall (probably short lived tho)

No. 369214

File: 1549593499874.jpg (164.43 KB, 1000x566, perfect-blue-1997.jpg)

At my old job, there was a boy a year or two younger than me that would do certain stuff to watch me be flustered and(or) because he thought I was cute. He wasn't there for long either because he went to uni on the other side of the country.
Anyway, it would be really subtle things because everyone else was around and could plainly see us. Some of the things he did was standing way too close behind me on purpose when I wasn't paying attention so that I would back up into his chest (he would be facing me too and not even move when he saw me backing up), stand really close so that my face was was right next to his when I wasn't paying attention, clean things right next to me forever while standing behind me so that his face was near my neck and shoulder, and grab my hand or put his hand under mine when I had to hand stuff over to him. He knew I was obviously flustered too and even told me to calm down once.

I liked every bit of it. But only because I'm so touched starved, lonely, and of course mentally ill. I wasn't even attracted to him. I just liked that a guy possibly displayed interest in me and wasn't repulsed to be doing those things with me since I haven't really gotten that kind of attention in my life. (God I sound retarded)
He could have even caught on that I liked it for all I know.

I want more of it - being physically close to a man.
And please don't respond telling me to just hook up with some scumbag on tinder or something, I will never feel comfortable doing that or even uploading pictures of my face online.

God I hate my stunted, weird ass.

No. 369238

I feel the same thing, to be honest. I get way too many haircuts because that's the only time any other person touches me.

No. 369240


I'm happy you guys enjoyed my post, and am glad there's others out there who relate. Honestly, I thought no one was going to reply, or if they did, it was going to be something edgy. I wasn't expecting this kind of a reaction at all.

You're not alone anon, I did this when I was younger, but with my favorite teddybear. I still do it in a way, before I fall asleep. I hold a pillow tight to my chest and imagine a guy sucking on my breast while I stroke his hair and cradle him like a child. I mean this in a completely innocent, non-sexual way, it doesn't turn me on. Does this make sense at all?

I don't think there's anything wrong with you anon, I know what you're talking about. I love subtle displays of interest, but when guys are blatant, it repulses me. I want to have an innocent relationship with someone, but it's slim-to-none in this Tinder culture. I hate being told to hook up with someone to get rid of my needs for affection, because that would accomplish the opposite. I don't experience attraction instantaneously like most people do, where they swipe right on a photo like, "Yep, I'd fuck them." It takes a LONG time for me to warm up to a person where their touch actually sets a spark under me. Any rando who touches me, no matter how objectively attractive, is no different than your teacher handing you homework or a stranger tapping your shoulder to get your attention. When I say I want touched, I mean I want someone who I'm close friends with and feel intense affection for, or someone who shows simultaneously sweet, but persistent interest, like the guy you described.

No. 369908

I masturbated with my crush's gardening glove.

It wasn't used

No. 369913

File: 1549681195381.jpg (46.65 KB, 382x349, uhhh_what_the_hell.jpg)


No. 369934

Lmao, because of the texture on the gloves I hope?

Anyway, I wouldn't even consider that too cringe.
First thing I ever masturbated with was the grippy part on my toothbrush then I graduated to using the ribbed handle on my hairbrush and then the lulziest most desperate thing was a plastic samurai sword that I won from a carnival. I told some online friend about that last one and they've given me shit for it since kek.

No. 369937

I like Snufkin's design a lot, would dress like him if it was socially acceptable

No. 369942

If I makes u feel better, I put a condom on a shitty carnival light saber then turned the light on while it was in my vagina

No. 369945

I used to masturbate with those travel cases for toothbrushes and bubble wands - you gotta do what you gotta do

No. 369958

I'm jealous of ugly and unsuccessful people who have babies. I'm conventionally attractive and have a good job…yet I'm having a hard time getting into a good relationship. Inb4 ur on lolcow, of course ur retarded. I'm almost to the point that I just want to get artificially inseminated.

No. 369960

Wait you guys actually put stuff inside to masturbate? It doesn't even feel good. it's so much effort and is so unrewarding. Esp when I was a kid I just rubbed my clit. Idg why people even use dildos and such

No. 369969

im probably autistic but i dont get the point of masturbating anyway, like nothing feels that good where its worth the effort. i barely get off. nothing works, im probably just fucked but thats fine i dont rlly have a sex drive

No. 369977

Not everybody is the same anon. Most women like things up their vagoo every once and a while.

No. 369980

so like, i learned with my fingers (and to this day, vibrators don't do ANYTHING for me.) but i do like fingers inside. i've done enough exploring to understand how my personal body responds to things and i get their reasoning to put things inside. i know the difference between clit and vaginal orgasm and the difference is astounding. esp when combined.

No. 369981

Sometimes I have to wonder if being ugly and unsuccessful makes people more likely to have kids and get married… or if marriage and children make you more ugly and less successful. The way people treat having a family as the gold standard of success in life kinda warps my perception, but then I go out in public and the majority of parents are obese and trashy. The only trait having a kid requires is being willing to fuck someone.

No. 369984

lmao a little later, but i definitely prefer vaginal orgasm (with my fingers, etc) over clit. one lasts for a while the other is a short spasm.

No. 369991


I was under the impression that vaginal technically was clit? it was just accessing it from a different area.

No. 369994

having kids itself is not a "gold standard" at all. you don't need money or a job or any sort of success to do it, just a willingness to open your legs and a working reproductive system.

I think owning a home (on top of having a family and a career) is the real gold standard these days.

No. 370000

>parents are obese and trashy
Which is the result of having kids, not the determining factor to have them.

People eat convenient, cheaper, and shittier foods because a family is expensive and time consuming. Parents are often exhausted and so self care and grooming that they did when they were single goes out the window.
Basically the parents have to be selfless for the sake of their children's care and can result in neglect of themselves.
People think it's some meme that your life is over when you have children, but let's just say it never goes back and can change for the worse.

Watching young parents suffer And struggle has been a great birth control for me. They're not getting their youth back.

No. 370009

It sounds shallow but one of the reasons I don't want kids because I just know I'd turn into a fatass if I did. I have a very tenuous grasp on my figure as is, I've been fat before and I'd rather die alone than have it happen again. Without the free time and disposable income that comes with being child free I'd be fucking doomed and never drop the weight.

No. 370018

lets be real, a lot of this comes from both people having children when they cannot 100% afford them, and women having to do 100% of the childcare. imagine you're a new mother, and you have a job, and you have to take care of the chores around the house, a newborn, and cook for your piece of shit husband. cooking homemade nutritious food isn't going to be high on that list.

i know people who stayed thin and put together after having a kid, and people that didn't, and the ones that didn't are lacking in support or money.

No. 370023

Pregnancy and breastfeeding also turn you into a hungry hippo, and while both burn huge amounts of calories the stress having a newborn just makes the kilos pile on on top of the pregnancy weight

No. 370144

I saw this in the gender crit thread but I absolutely love looking at reviews on Amazon, AliExpress, and any other websites that allow people to upload photos. You always get some weirdos who show off their bodies and try to look hot for the camera especially with clothes but some times you'll get some super weirdo who's posing for a pillowcase or something. It's hilarious, I love it.

No. 370151

I was looking through reviews of wigs and half of them were trannies lmao. Some girls would post their bf in a wig as a joke, but trannies were so obvious with their complete lack of style and hygiene.
On the other hand, I think I’ve seen few men pretending to be girls by taking online photos and being like “this skirt is too short teehee, I guess I’ll flash boys in the summer!”, followed by pictures of girl in skirt that was selling and then a picture of obviously other girl, in other skirt flashing her butt.

No. 370298

lmaoo i love finding troon-esque uwu animu grill clothes on amazon and looking at the review pictures. there's always a troon whose man "hips" barely let him get the skirt on, and they're posing so uncomfortably in it. it looks so unnatural and it's hilarious that it's not satire.

No. 370364

sometimes i look at the sex toys section and it's filled with troons and crossdressers going "oohoo!!!!! my lady bits are tingling!!!! getting that deep massage winkywinky" and then there's old dudes going "my wife smiles more, so i think it's working well."

No. 370523

oh yeah, the clit is huge! when i hit the front of my vaginal wall (g spot) it just feels amazing. i have to be pretty aroused for that one, tho.

No. 370581

File: 1549761839274.jpg (42.42 KB, 567x447, large.jpg)

I'm obsessive an I don't know how to stop it. Meditation and "distracting" myself work for small periods of time, but any break of "headpsace" in between, I can't stop ruminating on a single object. This time, it's a person, one of whom I "can't have." I don't want to posses this person and I respect them, but I can't stop repeating our conversations in my head, and finding a new way to get upset from a different light, over and over again. I'm driving myself crazy. I, quite literally, want to throw my head into a wall to make it stop. My brain feels like scrambled eggs; it talks like a chattering monkey on adderall from the time I get up, until I go to bed.

Also, I'm in a permanent state of dissociation. Most people who describe it have a period where everything returns to normal. Mine doesn't. I'm always numb, unfocused, and out-of-body. I can't feel much when I'm touched, or touch something. I can barely muster fake emotions to share when people are talking because my body won't release any hormones to make me feel something and respond naturally. I'm having schizoid reactions to everything around me, when I am not actually schizoid. I want it to stop. I've tried everything, but the only thing that works is temporary distractions like my job or going grocery shopping. If my mind isn't occupied at all times, I go batshit, when I used to never be like this and could spend months at a time alone in my bedroom without leaving the house.

No. 370645

There's a book called "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle that may help you, I highly suggest it. Also consider seeing a psychiatrist, they make medicine to alleviate these types of symptoms. I experienced a lot of this kind of stuff in my mid to late 20s but it can get better if you make an effort.

No. 370658

When I buy things off of ebay and vendors leave positive feedback calling me an excellent buyer and shit it really makes me happy. Idk why but it does. Funny thing is that I rarely feel anything when other people compliment me.

No. 370684

honestly i end up drunk posting about my dead mom like clockwork every 6 months. but as much as it sucks emotionally to lose her i think the weirdest thing about it all was watching her body waste on life support long after she was brain dead.

because of her passing in such weird circumstances i have quickly become obsessed the process of death and what happens afterward that its become rather unhealthy i think..

No. 370686

I've actually read that. I know how important the present is for healing, but no matter how hard I try to focus on the now, it is short lived. I saw a psychiatrist and was put on medication. The medication helped a lot, to a degree. I stopped taking it almost year ago and I've noticed very little change since then. It relieved most of my anxiety, and my suicidal tendencies. I still have my ups and downs, but I recover quicker now.

No. 370698

Making some sort of art project (be it visual or text or music etc) could be a constructive and healing way to channel it.

Kinda related, I saw my grandma in her deathbed… cancer. She was barely conscious, high as fuck on whatever they give them to ease the last hours. It never leaves my mind and is the first thing I see in my mind's eye when I think of her. I resent that it somehow replaced all the fond memories. I can't remember a time she wasn't sick…

No. 370710

i think thats the part about it that sucks so much. people always want a last goodbye at a funeral or on their deathbed but that has ruined my mothers image in my head. my memories that immediately surface are her hooked up to tubes or mortician makeup. i hate it. im so sorry you have to deal the with same..

i think that thats something i should explore. i used to paint a lot and be into digital art before she passed but i have just sort of let passions drop off because im emotionally repressed about it.

thanks anon. its morbid camaraderie but it means a lot

No. 370746


I love and appreciate the dedicated anon(s) posting in the dress up thread. The variety is incredible.

No. 370784


I don't know if it helps, but when my sister died I was in the same boat but I stumbled across a death positive youtuber that helped get me out of a bad spiral with death obsession.
It's Caitlin Doughty (Ask A Mortician), I read both her books and it really just helped pull everything back together for me.

No. 370937

File: 1549823079037.gif (901.98 KB, 244x160, tenor (1).gif)

when I see the minus next to threads I don't like every shaygnar one

No. 370950

lmao why don't you like her threads? I love watching the trainwreck. It is a lot of vendettachans and nightmare fuel though

No. 370951

god i'm the same. over half of the threads on /snow/ and /w/ are minused for me. too much nightmare fuel and nastiness

No. 370960

its p amusing if you can get past the vagina spergging and all the sex work anons complaining about her making money despite low effort work.
the liveblogging of streams are annoying too.

No. 370975

So I'm in a weight loss journey and so far so good. I'm making progress and I'm satisfied with how I'm eating etc.

The thing is that weeks ago I was way more happier with the results than I'm now. I looked myself in the mirror constantly, I bought new clothes and I put them on all the time, took pictures… And now I'm back to avoiding the mirror and trying to not to think of my body too much. And it's not because I'm settled and content, but because I started to find new problems with the way I look. I have some waist but I'm not nor never gonna be Instagram curvy. My ass is not big and my titties are not perky. My body is thinner but not skinny. My body just… exists in the middle of the road, being average in all the possible ways.

I wonder if one day I will be truly happy with it, with no ifs or buts. I miss the joy I felt the first time the weight loss was noticeably. I just don't want to feel like I'm lacking anymore I guess. Meh

No. 370983

She grosses me out too much and her life seems so lost and depressing. I can't really look at it in a detached manner. Just thinking about those dead, dark eyes gives me nightmares. You do you though

No. 371289


Even instagram models aren't curvy unless you consider the liquefy tool curvy, which it sometimes is, kek. Keep up with your progress and perhaps seek therapy for the mental side of losing weight and keeping it off. Good luck, anon.

No. 371440

I much preferred having my cousin die of a sudden heart attack overseas and being unable to travel to go to his funeral. I can't stand funerals, it feels like they're not really for me. My mourning is private and I definitely don't want to see people in their deathbeds. That's just something I learned by going to some funerals to "say goodbye". Not for me. I process better in my own way. RIP grandma, grandpa 2 years after, some friends, and my cousin.

Wishing you the best in your healing process anon.

No. 371678

I bought myself italian gluten free keto-friendly dog food to snack on.
It's pretty nutritious and actually tastes good.

No. 371685

thanks bby. i completely agree with you though. it seems more like a disservice to the deceased to parade them around after the fact. but thats all my opinion.

ive already let my spouse know that i would rather not have a viewing for myself and be sent off to be turned into fertilizer and plant a tree with me.

thats weird as shit but boy im having a hearty kek. you do you boo. did you just come across them unintentionally or purposely go out and get them?

No. 371689

You're not alone. I've actually sampled all my pet's foods and they definitely weren't palatable but hipster pet food/treat is totally tasty.

Since it's a "confession" here are the things I've tried
>canned cat food, various flavors including chicken hearts in gravy -these all taste like gravy or fishy
>budgie mix, seeds and weird colored pellets that i don't know the content of -they just taste like those seeds people put in smoothies and shit, pretty good
>various flake and pellet based fish food and freezedried bloodworms - fishy or tasteless
>all sorts of dog and cat kibble - not umami but somehow meatlike, its gross and has a lingering, strong aftertaste
>homemade mammal treats and other hipster pet treats - these are all really good and can double as human snacks

Idk animals make food sound so yummy with their teeth and tongues I guess, I always felt compelled to try em.

Not actually a confession tbh bc I share my animal food reviews with people if it comes up in convo lel

No. 371690

File: 1549907966829.jpg (22.27 KB, 310x450, 51OcwwAMiIL._SY450_.jpg)

diff anon but I swear that the milk drop snacks for cats/puppies are just shitty white chocolate buttons

No. 371717

File: 1549910648463.jpg (1.43 MB, 2448x2448, WAEEhWG.jpg)

Whenever I smell apples I suddenly hunger for an apple.

No. 371718

but apples don't have a smell
tbh if something was disgusting to me i wouldn't want to feed it to my cat but maybe pets' tastebuds are different?

No. 371720

This is so cute lol

No. 371721

File: 1549910919795.png (95.3 KB, 657x1204, wut.png)

You've never smelled apples before anon??? Apple smell is delicious!

No. 371724

Apples have a smell?

No. 371725

mmmm an apple yes pls kanzi apples are my favorite

No. 371727

When I was like 12 I used to get those dog-safe chocolate treats and we would snack on them together with my dog. They weren't all that bad tbh.

No. 371735

File: 1549911881145.jpg (21.09 KB, 400x268, apples.jpg)

Oh my god yes! Some apples don't though, I always found delicious varieties always lacked in both smell and flavor.
Mcintosh and fuji are my favorites. Where I'm from we make apple cider with em during the fall and I can always smell the apples when they start to get really ripe. Mmm.

No. 371752

okay a while back i made a post about believing i was asexual because i had never experienced being turned on/ never wanted sex despite being in multiple long term relationships and trying to masturabte ect. Over the last couple of weeks, I have actually experienced being horny? Nothing has changed in my life to cause this? I'm so happy tho because I felt like a freak before. I've even been masturbating regularly and it's great.

No. 371774

My Strange Addiction : peet food.

No. 371793

i dont know how to masturbate, every time i try to it makes me less aroused and the thought of putting something inside me, even just my fingers, makes me nervous for some reason. i dont even use tampons
what is wrong with me…

No. 371794

im the same way anon, ive fingered myself before and it was alright but i dont get the hype about masturbating or getting a dick inside of me, its just not something that turns me on. i dont use tampons either, shit is too freaky

No. 371798

im starting to like kpop. help

No. 371801

you are aware of the existence of the clit right? vaginal penetration does next to nothing for many women so that one's fair enough.

No. 371814

i sound like a 13 year old but i guess i cant find it, literally any time i tried which has been dozens it was like 'meh' and i was bored and honestly would rather do anything else. idgi, its just not stimulating for me

No. 371815

it can be pretty awkward and futile at first and for a long time. there is nothing wrong with you per se. I guess good luck. take care!

No. 371825

I'm too scared to stick anything in my vag too tbh. I just dry hump stuff since that seems to do the trick anyway. Takes like 30 secs for me to orgasm like that.

No. 371827

I was the same way for a long time. I fingered myself and tried to rub my clit, but felt nothing. Same thing for running my clit under bathwater. My ex fingered me and did oral, nothing. I was scared of tampons for the longest time because sticking my finger up there felt really weird and uncomfortable (not painful) and pulling out even the smallest size tampon was painful at times. My period recently got heavier, and I'm also better at relaxing now since I've been managing my mental illnesses better, so I can wear tampons and not notice they're there. I still don't feel anything pleasurable though, I'm seeing my doctor for it in two days just to make sure it's not a hormone imbalance.

No. 371839

i can understand that its not always arousing to people to rub on it or have it played with, but have you never seen anatomy charts of the vagina in person or on the internet? its not hard to find…. you have to be 18 to post here, have you honestly spent so long being unaware of your basic anatomy?

No. 371840

>>371793 maybe you could get a hitachi wand? no penetration involved.

No. 371845

idk, i'm actually 20, i was just never taught about it because catholic school and i never cared too much about getting off to try to really figure it out.

No. 371846

samefag but also looking at anatomy stuff makes me queasy and i dont like porn/looking at genitalia

No. 371847

File: 1549922603133.gif (756.85 KB, 450x231, 989.gif)

I just love farmers so much that it's affecting my real life.

I've always felt too normie for weebs but also too weeby for normies. I thought I was the only one like this but during these past 3 years here on the farm I feel like I've found people like me. You girls are seriously the best. A lot of us share the same experiences, interests and thoughts.

The problem is, I have such a hard time having fun with my irl friends now. I always compare them to you girls here. I catch myself thinking "if I had a friend like the farmers on lolcow we could wear cute outfits together, watch Nana, play animal crossing and talk shit about men". Instead I'm stuck with conversations about how cool Shane Dawson is, how their boyfriends treat them like shit and facebook memes. The few weeb friends I have just talk about Jimin's lips uwu and are generally waaay too autistic.

I just want a farmer friend irl

No. 371850

>>I just want a farmer friend irl.

A lot of the girls here have some weird af problems anon. I know I wasn't the only one who seen that tulpa thread a couple of months ago (too damn bad that shit got locked it was sad/funny as hell). I honestly wouldn't be friends with anyone here lol

No. 371852

File: 1549923072368.jpg (34.94 KB, 500x500, kxg1qejbiro1_500.jpg)

>tfw have farmer friends

While I don't think they really spend a lot of time here, they're really no different than the average gull

No. 371867

I tend to avoid threads that attracts too much sperging but overall, the farmers on /ot/ and /g/ don't feel that psycho in my opinion. In all honesty, we all have problems, even my normie friends can act like total nutcases. Being a salty bitch isn't exclusive to lolcow

ah do you mean seagulls anon? They seem nice but /cgl/ has so much damn infighting going on that I feel less of a community feeling there compared to lolcow. Also I don't wear any harajuku fashion so overall I feel like I can't participate in their friend finder threads

No. 371868

We have a friend finder thread you can use, anon. You said you were here for 3 years but just in case you could have missed the thread

>A lot of the girls here have some weird af problems anon
Everyone does, even irl to be honest. As long as you don't befriend some creepy bpd stalker or pedo or something here, I don't see what's so bad about wanting to be friends with the girls here.

No. 371874

yeah I know about the friend finder thread! It's just that I want an irl farmer friend and there seems to be no Swedish farmers here

No. 371889

You're idealizing anons because you're only thinking of the posts you like
That anon you saw make a witty comment about men is probably the same anon in another thread who said she thinks all anime fans are paedophiles by default, or has no sense of what makes an outfit cute.

It's actually the thing I like about anonymous boards though, in one thread everyone is telling me to literally kill myself because of my shitposts, but in another my posts are useful advice or emotional support. We can simultaneously be each others best friends and enemies without even knowing it, I wish people could do this irl

No. 371907

I like that we can have different views about things and fight as much as we want over dumb shit, but at the end of the day, we're similar in other ways and we all ended up here for one reason or another. I don't understand anons here who bitch "You're all crazy and deserve to be here wallowing in your misery" out of anger because no matter how much I argue or make fun of something another anon said, I still love them and have no ill intention of them.

No. 372048

NTA, I'm kind of scared to make friends with farmers in case they try to blackmail me for posting here. There are people I saw in the friend finder who seemed nice/chill, I just don't like the idea of them knowing which posts I make either lol.
I've got a probably reasonable fear that someone here who seems normal might actually be a bitch, even though I'm not really and I've talked to kind people in threads here.

No. 372103

sometimes late at night I crawl into bed and just cry about brokeback mountain

I haven't watched it in like seven or eight years (watched it once and something inside of me straight up died and I can't go through that again) and I can still feel that pain like a fresh wound

No. 372131

You may already know this, but I certainly didn't until my dad told me.
The film is based on a short story by Annie Proulx. It's even more heart-wrenching than the film.

You can read it here, if you dare. https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1997/10/13/brokeback-mountain
I'm a little confused bc google says this is a 305-page book, but I'm pretty sure the linked article is the full story. I'm too lazy to look into it rn though.

Personally this was extra sad for me bc my dad is gay and hid it away for most of his life. He grew up in the American south in the 50's. He never had a partner who was murdered but the existential sadness I feel for him is intense. He's living openly now though and despite the pain and disruption it caused my mother and my siblings, I'm happy he's free now. Sorry for the absolute blog post.

No. 372132

…no one is going to be able to know what you post unless you tell them.

No. 372135

We currently have people from overseas at work and I’m ridiculously attracted to one of them. I’m married (he isn’t) and nothing is ever going to happen but lord give me strength.

No. 372142

I've always wanted to be a nude model. I realized this when I was 12, and I desperately waited to turn 18 so I could start. Something always got in the way, first it was a boyfriend, then a job, then a different boyfriend. I can't help but feel jealous of all the girls who are able to do stuff like this and I wonder how much different my life would be if I had just done it.

No. 372203

>realized when i was 12

Who molested you or what parent groomed you?

No. 372264

that movie really did it to us all… I feel you, anon.

you can nude model for art classes

No. 372273

anon, do it for an art course! It can be a one-time-thing or regular. I know how you feel because I figure draw and I wanna get up there myself one day.

No. 373362

File: 1550117673598.png (121.81 KB, 241x400, Smug_Reimu.png)

I like to draw for fun, but I ONLY draw pretty girls, usually from the torso up with large doe eyes and SOMETIMES pretty boys, and stupid memes.

No. 373365

that’s a really cute stupid meme

No. 373367

My boyfriend has a foot fetish. Can confirm it's awesome. Not as many foot rubs as you would think, though.

No. 373430

there's this podcast i used to listen to called the guilty feminist, and one of the episodes is about the host doing nude life modelling and all the anxieties she had about it. It's a very obnoxiously libfem show which is why I stopped listening, but that episode in particular might be interesting to you: https://guiltyfeminist.libsyn.com/the-guilty-feminist-episode-1

No. 373436

Not my reimu though!

No. 373446

I really want to get lipo, and possibly a fat transfer. I've tried everything and I can't lose and keep the weight off. It's frustrating.

No. 373671

File: 1550177277076.png (56.9 KB, 186x270, Marisa_default.PNG)

In HS I was a reverse Shoe/Lainey and lied about my height being several inches taller than it actually was, and wore heels or tall boots almost every day and dressed in monochrome for a ~lengthening~ effect. On my driver's permit is has my height as 3inches taller than it actually is, lel.

No. 373679

Wow what a terrible idea to have misinformation on your IDs.

No. 373684

the pic you posted gives me serious man vibes…

No. 373685

sorta cute ngl, do get your drivers license sorted out though!

No. 373693

I don't know if this is ironic or not, but I don't think it will be a huge deal. I think most people can't tell much difference between 5 and 5'3, though whenever this permit expires I'll definitely be sure to correct this.
I think that's a little paranoid anon. I'm not a man at all, I just like Touhou. I could understand where you were coming from if the picture was sexualized, or worse the creepy "innocent" kind of sexualized, but at least to me the image is just cute and normal.
ty anon! next year I will have it sorted out and live an honest life!

No. 373713

cute trans queen lying about being 6'4 instead of 6'1 kek

No. 373723

File: 1550181772913.gif (12.27 MB, 640x480, 9567032159.gif)

No. 373727

Nothing ironic about lying on your id. That shit is extremely important and you sound too sheltered to know why.

Sounded like that to me too, what a weird thing to lie about.

No. 373742

I think I lied on my first license, or was it permit, about my height too. I'm 5'3, but was probably 5'2 or 5'1 back in high school. I think I wrote that I was 5'6. It is sort of a major difference, I look at women who are 5'6 and they are truly much taller.
If I ever got lost or kidnapped back then, the information would've been useless because people would be searching for someone 5'6, not a 5' young woman. It was really dumb and it just goes to show how dangerous petty insecurities can be.

No. 373914

Sometimes I have to doubletake when I browse /snow/ and /w/ because Pixielocks and Baylee look really fucking similar to me, both in their eyes and the over-processed hair, down to the way they talk.

No. 373916

They were a teen, teenagers are retards and do dumb shit all the time
It’s not like they had malicious intent or were too ‘sheltered’ to know better, kids lack foresight. And anon probably had their first ID done at 16 which isn’t exactly peak maturity

No. 373924

I don’t think it’s a big deal. I’m pretty sure most people lie about their weight. So why is height is any different?

But if it’s really bothering you, maybe contact the DMV? It might take forever but it might be worth it.

No. 373936

The details you missed were
>first license
>high school
>anon speaking in past tense
I think the problem has been resolved, anon is just reflecting on how it isn't uncommon for teenagers to lie about that shit.

No. 373943

My country doesn't have height or weight on our licenses at all, surely it can't be THAT important when searching for a missing person?

No. 373945

Is your country known for successful recoveries of missing persons and a high rate of kidnappings and lost people?

No. 373948

I honestly have no idea, it's Australia so maybe someone else knows. I always assumed people who know the missing person just describe them.

No. 373981

Wouldn’t your parents/friends describe you if you went missing rather than the police solely relying on your license?

No. 374012


watch going home with ram dass on netflix. it's soothing.

No. 374014


this was cowboy bebop for me. Reading this and people agreeing with you was hella comforting.

thanks girls.

No. 374019

Retard. It IS a big deal. Nobody should be lying on their identification forms.

No. 374025

when it comes to keeping friends, i think there's something wrong with me as a person. it's not that i have trouble making friends. i don't go out of my way to make friends but i'm naturally outgoing and extroverted so i easily meet people and start talking to them on the regular. things go really well for a while (sometimes for years) but the second someone does something i feel is a betrayal, i lose all trust and respect for them and completely remove them from my life.

i don't share much about myself and keep my life private, so when i finally do share small things and people don't react as i expect, i take that as they are uninterested in who i really am and cut them out. i've burned bridges for people saying they'll be somewhere and then didn't show, even if it was only one time. i've ghosted people and cut off every means of contact because they spoke to someone who hurt me in the past. the list goes on and on.

at this point i'm convinced i have some mental immaturity or inability to form trust bonds with other people. i can't stop doing it because when it happens i truly feel these people are hurting me, maybe not maliciously but out of carelessness or ignorance. i know me disappearing hurts them too but i think it's better to distance myself because the bitterness will always be there.

No. 374102

I daydream about my 'friends' from school who bullied me, causing my ongoing depression, messaging me on Facebook trying to apologize for mistreating me. But instead of accepting their apology I'd just tell them off instead in some satisfying way. However knowing them, it will never happen and I feel stupid for even fantasizing about it.

Du är inte den enda svensken här.

No. 374104

I collect my cats' shed whiskers and put them in a little box whenever I find them. I just find them fascinating. I don't know what I'm gonna do with them yet, maybe I'll make jewelry out of them one day or something.

No. 374110

Just keep em in the box as memories maybe

No. 374160

feel like i'm gonna piss a lot of people off but it's annoying when ugly people try to befriend me. i used to befriend ugly weebs all the time but avoid them now because ugly guys think friendship = they have a chance, and (in my personal experience) ugly girls get really jealous over dumb shit and become skinwalkers who blantantly copy my hair/makeup/clothing style and it's fuckin creepy. i mean, like actual ugly people btw, people who definitely have below average looks, i don't think i'm hot shit i'm pretty average. befriending uglies is a mistake

No. 374164

Stop having ugly girl mentality then lol

No. 374171

I can somewhat relate to this. There was a new coworker at my job who was a ~not like the other gurlz~ type and only talked to the boys but would ignore the girls, she clearly wasn't shy at didn't have a problem socializing when spoken to. She was pretty below average in looks and weeby. All she would talk about was Dragonball Z for some reason and try to explain what memes were to the older women who worked there (cringe) and had an ugly decoden phonecase like it was 2005. I never spoke to her because I clearly didn't fuck with her but she would do a bunch of very specific little things to copy me and I was fucking creeped out down to carrying a pocket knife in her right back pocket like I did because I had to open boxes when stocking. Thing is she was new and never stocked shit….
At one point I was being stalked by one of my uber drivers who kept coming into my job looking for me so after that she tried claiming one of the (literally retarded) employees of the store was trying to kidnap her and hit on her.

No. 374193

You sound insecure as fuck.

No. 374206

thank you, someone who gets what kind of people i mean.

No. 374209

Now I'm worried that I may have given the impression that I was skinwalking some of the popular girls during middle school when I was an autistic closeted weeb and sometimes copied a hair style of clothing choice because I thought they looked pretty.
Fuck, maybe I creeped them out.

No. 374216

Probably. But who cares if it was middle school. Doing this shit as an adult though is just sad.

No. 374223

I'm the anon from the secrets thread a while back who's addicted to drinking the whiska's cat milk. Let's be friends.

No. 374241

Ayy I used to eat hamster food from the pet store. It was just sesame seed and peanut butter balls. Good shit

No. 374243

Let's all be pet food eating weirdos together haha

No. 374272

NTA but I also ate gerbil food with my best friend. We also tried peanut butter flavored dog treats. There’s some American company that makes doggie Oreos that are made with Carob and peanut butter. A friend brought some over for us and he was so weirded out when I admitted I tried one lol. They tasted just like nutter butters, honestly…

No. 374328

I get you. After reading your posts, I realized the girls I've had failed relationships are uglies. Not every ugly girl I've known is like that, but sure the majority were huge creeps, it makes you aware. Is sad how beauty standards affect socialization to such extent..if it wasn't like that below average people would have more tolerable personalities.

I tend to get along with other average girls and cuties. I specially love to hang around with beautiful people. Mostly because so many of them have healthy self esteems and are self assured. Those traits are comfy to me.

No. 374332

File: 1550276759982.png (92.3 KB, 1110x314, lmao.png)

No. 374333

File: 1550276856746.png (Spoiler Image, 155.15 KB, 1084x363, lmao2.png)

No. 374336

File: 1550277716554.jpeg (293.76 KB, 1333x725, 979BE485-A499-4296-9B9B-758196…)

I understand you so much rn anon. I searched for something comparable for human consumption for years after I ate the hamster food. Closest I found were some hippy dippy company called “berg bites” and they taste almost the exact same. #petfoodeatersunite

No. 374337

Fuck we got a clan going on rn

No. 374357

ita, troons are a special case of ugly, where it's an ugly man who is envious of you and then tries to emulate you by trying to become a woman, which in their eyes is… growing out their greasy unwashed hair i guess

No. 374816

i think i'm a sociopath.

background: someone kept bullying me about not having money and sending me mocking messages about how they're gonna have a nice holiday unlike me and i argued with them some time until today i just got so pissed off i faked cutting scars and took pictures of them and send them (idk if the person was a guy or girl) those and told them to enjoy them since they like hurting me so much.

like i know it was so melodramatic and i should have never, ever stooped into that level but… i just can't feel guilty about it? they stopped harassing me and i can't help but think that since they were such a mean asshole they should think about what kind of pain they cause to others. i know self harm or threatening self harm is so awful especially faking it and abusive behavior and yet i can't feel guilty so i am afraid if i'm a psycho.

No. 374822

i guess i could say sorry and say it was fake but i don't want to since they were being such a mean bitch, it's not like they didn't enjoy making me feel like shit! sage for double post

No. 374823

An easy way to finding out whether you're a sociopath or not is:
If you're wondering whether you are one and are scared of being one, you are not a sociopath. Sociopaths don't see sociopathy as something bad.

They all want actual women to be jealous of them so badly when really all their senses should tell them that actual women who leave the house looking like them would be put down mercilessly by men.

No. 374825

Sounds more like borderline anon, but I'm no therapist.

No. 374831

idk, never been diagnosed.

like on other hand i'm pissed off at them since they spend so much time making me feel awful and they did it knowingly, like the things they said weren't just some mistake but now i just keep thinking that if they're not crazy they must feel awful and panicked about it and i don't want that happen either, whoever this person is.

No. 374837

why didn't you just block them?

No. 374842

i did that but they kept going on making new accounts (they kept sending me new asks over tumblr with new accounts), that's why i was so pissed off that they kept going on and on and on even after i asked them why do they keep doing this. i should probably had just closed my asks for some time altogether until they had gotten bored

No. 374848

double post again, like even if they were being a bitch i guess they thought the whole thing was a joke even thought it was a stupid joke that they took too far and kept going on too long. so i guess i do feel guilty after all even though at first i said i don't

No. 374943


classic bpd, like other anon said. sort it out b/c it's toxic af.

No. 375121

I've met this boy on tinder aged ago. We talked but never got to mret uo because he ghosted me when he got a relationship. We really talked intensely before that and would call alot. He lived 2 hours away and being broke teenagers we just never got to meet. 4 years after not talking he contacted me on fb, I had just met my current boyfriend so after a couple conversations we eventually stopped talking but kept following each other on social media. At the time he said that he had liking his (ex) gf for a long time and she finally gave him a chance so he deleted all girl contacts because he wanted it to work. But he said he always had me in his mind. And the same with me.. I've dated alot and always kept fantasizing about him.

So whem he was single i had just met my current boyfriend. Who I kept dating and still, after 4 years am happily living together with. We got a kid together, a house, a cute dog. BUT STILL this stupid boy who I've never met.. Is in my head. He plays the role in my dreams I guess. Is this normal..?

I want to add: i'm very happy and in love with my boyfriend. I just, have that "what if" feeling and whenever I see him posting something it just grabs me. It's confusing. I would never think of leaving my bf but in my dream world I would have two boyfriends.

No. 375156

^i'm sorry.. I was typing to fast I guess.. Hope it's readable.

No. 377129

im lesbian through and through but… i wanna get dicked down really bad

Not even by a man or anything. I just want the dick itself. A warm fleshy one

No. 377137

it feels good for the 15 minutes until you realize you need some clitoral stimulation, you can just get a dildo without the person attached tbh

No. 377244

Whenever I meet a guy I get along with, I want him to fall for me. Why the fuck do I do that? I cant have a normal friendship with any guys without immediately wanting them to want to fuck me.I hate myself for that. I never actually feel attracted to them, I just them to want me. Why? How can I stop this? It's so fucking shameful that I just stop myself from interacting with guys. I made a really good friend not too long ago and I was able to open up to him about certain things about me but suddenly I want him to want me. Why is my mind like this? Why am I like this?

No. 377253

not to go full misandrist, but its female socialization making it feel that being desired by men is the utmost priority. or you're a narc but that's lower odds.

No. 377330


No. 377587

I'm bi (I know, disgusting and shameful) and I've come to realize that in a relationship with a woman I'd just be less concerned about her watching porn and finding other women (or men, w/e) attractive than I would with a man. I'd be just as devastated if she cheated, and logically I know cheating stats are very close for men and women, but I feel I'd be less jealous in general. Thinking about an imaginary gf following hot girls on social media doesn't inspire the intense anxiety that the reverse imaginary scenario does.

I feel embarrassed about this since it really comes off as "OH THIS BISLUT DOESN'T SEE A WOMAN-WOMAN RELATIONSHIP AS REAL" but in reality I think it's because I see women as individual humans and men as animals with no self-control. It's even almost convincing me to go female exclusive to avoid the stress (that I make for myself).

No. 377663

I feel the exact same way, and was actually going to confess this before I read your reply. I guess the only thing is, I'm straight? maybe. I find men sexually attractive, but they are utterly impossible to get close to. Women, I've had romantic feelings for, but outside of wanting to kiss or caress her, my physical feelings end there. It's a horrible limbo. Anytime I feel emotionally close to a guy, he puts me on the backburner to pursue women he finds more physically attractive, but still asking for a fwb from me (which I will never do). I know if I pursue a lesbian woman, she will want to go further physically, and I'm not sure I'll be able to enjoy it enough to make her happy as well. Fuck me.

No. 377668

lol dw i do that too, and i think most humans do that wrt the sex they're attracted to. as long as it's not your main motivation in life, who cares!

No. 377711

I was a shuwu fan.

No. 377717

You girls seem like you have never had a relationship with women, can I broke your dreams and say that the times I've felt unfulfilled the most were with women? those were the people who asked me to stay fwb or just wanted a one night stand. The only time I had someone cheating on me, it was a girl. On the other hand, the most devoted to relationship people I have been with in life has been men, immature as they were.

No. 377720

Wow anon your anecdotal experiences are totally the objective truth.

No. 377723

I used to hatefollow a crazy Homestuck fan back in the day. Bitch was certifiably insane and kept picking fights and burning bridges over ugly little fan characters- she was like a micocosm of everything wrong with homestuck fans and I loved watching her destroy her own life. After a while I decided to quit tumblr entirely (too distracting from college work) and lost track of her.
Fast forward to today and I decided to see what she was doing after a couple of years and it looks like she got help and started gardening or some shit. I thought she’d be in jail for killing someone over fake pixel grey haired monsters with orange horns by now but she’s turned her life around and tbh I know I should be happy for her but I’m just sad a former source of milk dried up. :/

No. 377759

I don't love my boyfriend anymore but I'm too much of a coward to break up with him.
We've been together for 2 years now, and I still deeply care for him, he's like a best friend, but I really don't love him anymore. I want to end the relationship, but I don't want to hurt him. And his mom was always so sweet to me.
Eventually I'll have to grow myself some guts

No. 377769

>We've been together for 2 years now, and I still deeply care for him, he's like a best friend, but I really don't love him anymore.
I think it's the natural evolution of relationships, Anon. The butterflies aren't supposed to last for 30 years, the survival of a relationship is based on mutual care and lifestyle choices.

No. 377851

I've only ever been cheated on by men, and they openly oogle other women like objects while they're with you. Women at least have the decency to ask their partner if they're okay with openly talking about their attraction to others while out in public. Both men and women can be equally shitty, I just find it the odds of being with someone shitty are greater with men. Women feel more in-tune with my desires. Men are less sensual, quick to stick it in without foreplay. There's a lot more emotional build up when I'm with a girl, but I can't say too much because I was never long-term with one. Somehow having a short relationship with a woman doesn't bother me as much as it does with a man, probably because it feels more violating since a man can get you pregnant.

No. 377863

Man I miss hilarious crazy tumblr drama. Now everything's changed and it's too self aware. And since the explicit content purge it really feels like the soul is sucked out of the site.

No. 377868

keeping him in a relationship with someone who doesn't want/love him is more unfair than dumping him, I think. Break up with him and let him find someone who wants to be with him, you will both be happier in the long run. Otherwise you might start to resent him later and it'll get even worse.

No. 377871

this almost made me spit out my drink because it's spot on with what that sperg was going on about

No. 377885

I kissed someone else right before I got together with my bf but after we had started talking, and its eating me alive. I know we werent in a realtionship at the time, but it was still horrible of me and I wish I had not done it.

No. 377889

You're not going to do it now that you're officially together, so just forget about it. If it really bothers you, tell your boyfriend about it. Communication is always better than letting something eat you up inside.

No. 378046

i see someone missed the gaudpocalypse.

No. 378073

KEK, so accurate.

No. 380181

I have a boyfriend but I can't stop daydreaming about this sexy guy from work. I hardly ever see him or talk to him and it's not like I'm actively seeking him out but I can not get him off my mind. The attraction is strong. I just want this high school crush to go away so I can get back to my real life, but it's taking so long. I have to stop myself from talking to him when he's around me because A) I get nervous, and B) I don't want to open any weird doors. Fml.

No. 380230

The day before yesterday I was watching the train as it pulled into the station and I came so close to jumping. In the past it was always a fantasy but over the past few months I feel like I am getting closer and closer to taking the plunge. I felt my body take me towards the edge of the platform and I made eye contact with the driver and she looked so indifferent. I thought about how she'd have to pull on the brakes and everyone else - it wasnt crowded because it was midday - would have to watch me jump. I struggled to pull myself back because I didn't want to ruin other peoples' day.

If or when another opporutnity pops up I doubt I will even have the strength to pull away.

No. 380233

I feel you. I feel you so much. I have this every time I ride trains/metro. The only way to cope with it for me turned out to be closing my eyes at the exact moment the train will "hit" me if I stepped forward and hearing the crunching sound, seeing what a mess I would be making and how everyone would be late everywhere.
Somehow this helps.

No. 380322


Relevant reading. I have a friend who's a train operator, tells me that it'd be a bad choice because a) For the local metro it'd have a ~40% of working and b) Ruins the world a little bit more. Stay safe Anons.

On topic, I have this great fear that I'm never going to have a job that pays decently, has a manageable commute, and doesn't eat my soul.

No. 380355

I think it's finally time that I admit to myself that I'm probably depressed. I'm tired of seeing uwu depression all over social media, so I didn't want to add myself to the crowd, but I haven't gotten out of bed since I went to sleep last night. I have no appetite, I have no emotions. All I feel is disappointment and like I made a huge mistake that I can't do anything to fix. I should probably contact a therapist, but I lack the energy to do even that much in my best interest. I'm kind of just waiting for the day to be over so I can go back to being unconscious for a while.

No. 380515

I know shipping irl people is wrong and I would never do it seriously but something about the kaylor conspiracy gets me going which is just the conspiracy that Taylor Swift and Karlie Kloss have been dating secretly for a long time. I used to lurk it a lot but am currently out of the loop about it. I'll be forever confused about my conflicting feelings about it. Idk, the mention of the topic on the celeb thread (not by me) prompted me to write this. I guess I just feel bored and empty and alone a lot.

No. 380560


i relate to this a lot. i'm not really sure what the next step is but all i know is i can't afford therapy, and what would be the point? i keep trying to will myself into feeling better (like i used to be able to a few years ago) but i don't think it's possible anymore.

No. 380567

I'm sorry you're suicidal. Wishing you well

No. 381694

One time I peed myself while speedrunning and kept on playing. I didnt even beat my PB.

No. 381713

I kind of look forward to the eventual death of my grandparents.

I kind of hate most posters on this website but I don't know of any better alternatives so here I stay.

lmao same. And I used to be kind of vocal about my dislike of kpop too. Hoping it's just a phase.

I think that's pretty common.

No. 381721

Why do you dislike most posters here?

No. 381728

I feel like I'm walking on eggshells most of the time in order to avoid starting an infight and get unjustly banned/warned when it's just the other side overreacting. I don't know if this is true but I feel like this place was a lot less uptight in its earlier days as I've only been served warns/bans beginning from the past year or so.

And also I just don't share the perspectives of LC's consensus on so many topics.

No. 381737

Overreacting about what issues, just curious? And yeah, we didn't even have to sage at all until like a year and a half ago. I never got banned in the past but Idk Idc the moderation is definitely more strict but i don't mind so much.

No. 381740

Literally the most trivial bullshit imaginable, in my opinion at least. Was just asking someone to keep their pic spam within the thread and not elsewhere on the site.

No. 381746

this place is full of people starting shit for the sake of starting shit.

No. 381873

File: 1551454770068.jpg (10.53 KB, 200x200, CEFC5976151134208649221353472_…)

I know 6 different men who are cheating on their girlfriends/wives but I can't tell anyone because it's all with me

No. 381876

No. 381882

Well fuck, now that's a twist kek

No. 381888

Real question, how do you have the time? Is it kinda like your job?

No. 381893

I masturbate to the thought of my bf getting fucked by another sexy dude with a huge dick. I guess it's what happens when you spend your teenage years masturbating to yaoi, I wish I were a normie.

No. 381901

Yeah I have two jobs and never sleep, it's usually at work or after, it kinda helps some of them work with me

I'm just in one of those "I've slept with too many guys with girlfriends I'm afraid to become one" type things

No. 381904

I feel pity for some flakes in /snow/ to the point that a part of me would like to help them. Belle Delphine for example, I see her as young and misguided (she comes from a shit family too, and was most likely groomed when she was underage) and seeing someone so young ruining their life already makes me wish I could help her get back on track

No. 381906

It makes me happy to see a cow grow up and become a functional, nice person. I hatefollowed a complete white trash autistic NEET for years and then lost track of her when she quit all social media, now found her again and she's actually gotten back to school and is working towards a real job and has a relationship. I'm.. sort of proud of her if you could say?

It's fun to watch a cow completely destroy their life and dig the hole deeper but world needs more good people and less shitty people anyway. Reading about all the spergs on gossip sites such as LC has definitely made me more aware of my own behavior over the years and improved my perception of other people a lot.

No. 381909

Why do you do that? Do you get off on it or is it just a coincidence?

No. 381910

I'm a sex addict with severe mental issues, I just kinda stopped caring about life, I'm also very outgoing and manipulative

No. 381912

This is why men shouldn't be allowed to leave the house or have access to the outside world in a relationship. They always do this.

No. 381917

I do something similar as I am a complete sperg and have very few decent role models to go on in real life. I can't emulate successes so I'll dissect failures.

No. 381947


No. 381955

No offense, but you seem like a terrible person (currently). Hope you stop soon.

No. 381958

sorry anon, but its really sex-addict anon who comes on to these guys in relationships.

you do know there are single men in the world, dont you think it would be a little better for them and the women they are with if you stopped fucking around with guys in relationships?

No. 381959

File: 1551467095168.jpg (41.03 KB, 499x428, DyCP403WoAAoJkj.jpg)

Not that anon but this post >>381873 sums it up pretty well. I don't expect all the people here to be mentally sound but yikes
I gotta get off this website

No. 381961

I really felt bad for this guy my boyfriend and I are sharing an air b&b with because my boyfriend is telling him the place costs more than it actually does, so he's fucking the guy out of more money, BUT yesterday, I found out he's been spending 100's of dollars at a strip club and that's why his wife and baby daughter don't have the money to come visit him.

No. 381974

Same man. Most anons are psycho or degenerate.

No. 381975

You're not wrong, I just stopped caring about myself tbh
Yeah but it's there job to say no and they always come onto me, yeah sure I'm scum whatever but their relationship isn't my problem since whores like me will always exist but it's their job to stay loyal, not mine

No. 381979

oh come on. the girls here are not all that nuts and inconsiderate. everyone likes to shit on the posters here but beyond plenty of them being fujoshis with terrible fashion sense, i doubt they're any worse than the majority of girls you find in a group. rarely do farmers seem to be this wacked.

No. 381986

>its really sex-addict anon who comes on to these guys in relationships.
She wasn't the one who broke her commitment to be in a loyal relationship, they did. They are the only ones accountable for cheating.
Her only responsibility is to get help for her sex addiction. Bitch sounds like she's really hit rock bottom.

No. 381990

Well they say when people have savior complex it’s because they have unmet needs within themselves or unresolved feelings about their past. But what do I know. Volunteer at a women’s center or something anon, help someone who seeks it. Cows wouldn’t be cows if they deserved your empathy.

No. 381992

She enables men to continue being shitheads. Equally guilty. I have no sympathy but I hope she gets help.

No. 381994

If it wasn't with her, it would be with someone else. They are grown men, they make their own decisions. This diffusion of responsibility is tantamount to coddling men like children.

No. 382018

but that anon also has no respect for other people as well as herself apparently. if they knew the guy was in with someone else and they were actively coming on to her, she can put her big girl pants on and refuse. but there again, that would require a sense of respect for other people.

No. 382049

You're right I don't respect myself, but come on, it's kinda ridiculous for several males to come onto me while being in a relationship, just says something about males as a whole, even though they're the ones always screaming how we all cheat

No. 382073

its shitty from both sides anon sorry. the males you have been with of course are responsible for their own actions, but if you had prior knowledge of them being with someone else, that makes you just as guilty and a part of the statistic that all men are cheaters.

how do you think the women in their lives would feel if they knew? and on top of just finding out that their beau is unfaithful but that the woman they were with knew and clearly didnt gaf enough to keep her pussy in check. you arent responsible for them but you are in full control of you unless you know, they forced you, then thats a whole other scenario altogether.

i frankly dont care that people have casual sex, get yours, but its fucking scummy to willingly engage with people in relationships.

No. 382113

Its not my relationship therefore not my problem, I simply don't care about myself or others

No. 382117

You should look into some kind of counselling, anon. Not respecting yourself and others just means that nobody will respect you either and that will just lead you into a black hole when it hits you.

Everyone I've ever met who is willing to play second fiddle and be the side piece has had low self esteem and tbh you don't really sound like an exception.

Don't you think you're worth more than just an easy lay for scummy men?

No. 382119

You should at least care about yourself. No dick is worth your dignity let alone 6 of them, why reward assholes who probably think very little of you? Get a dildo and some self esteem.

No. 382135

As long as you can admit that you're part to blame I guess.

No. 382140

lmao how can you be so confident but have so little self-esteem? serious question. im actually in awe

just make sure to get tested and make them wrap it up.

No. 382152

Yeah they're clean I always check their records at least, I'm just very careless with myself tbh
That's fine, I guess it's just my carelessness, just nothing feels real to me anymore

No. 382181

If I had an online presence, I'd probably be considered a cow or at least a flake. Though coming to lc has made me much more self aware and I'm slowly becoming less of a loser!

No. 382192

It's okay anon, a lot of people would have laughed at my personal failures and pettiness if I were dumb enough to overshare about it online too.
In fact I think it happened a little for me during the MySpace era from about 2007-2010, but I was fortunate enough to start snapping out of my attention whore phase when I realized I had fake friends and everyone laughed behind my back.

No. 382198

I cheated on my boyfriend. I feel slightly guilty but I'm definitely never going to say anything.

I honestly wouldn't feel too bad if he cheated on me because I understand. I'm just a degenerate I guess.

No. 382201

All the discussion of cheating itt today has tainted my Friday. smh.

Anyway so as not to derail: I draw shitty cartoons and recently kind of based a new character on some guy that I'm interested in. But now I'm screwed because if I get the balls to approach him and succeed it might creep him out (rightfully so).

No. 382205

Are you going to continue to date him though?
No offense anon, but it's pretty doomed, and regardless if you admit it or not it will always remain on your conscience. That's a heady burden to bear in a relationship.
Can't speak for you, but when I cheated on my bf little did I know that I did it for a reason (unlike men who cheat just because puss is offered), and I kept silent as well but wound up breaking off the relationship a couple years later. For the same reasons that caused me to cheat. It's just a waste of your time to be with someone who makes you want to cheat as opposed to being with someone whom you'd never want to betray in that way. I don't know your exact circumstances, I just know cheating is a bad indicator and not such an innocent mistake.

No. 382208

don't listen to that anon. if you don't care and you don't tell, who cares?

No. 382209

>who cares?
She might, that's what I'm saying. She feels guilty so there's obviously something going on that's probably going to rear its head down the line again regardless if she doesn't tell.

No. 382216

I kind of like it when newfags accidentally necro old threads because I reread them again and I like trying to pick out and remember the posts I made. Heh heh.

No. 382217

I honestly don't get why mods won't just lock old threads if they don't want people posting in them.

No. 382220

A thread auto locking after it's a certain age is a good idea I can get behind.

No. 382221

I've had the same crush for fourteen years now and he hasn't seen or thought about me for half of those. He doesn't like me and we'll never talk again but I still can't get over it.

Haha, nice. I named a fish after a girl I wanted to be friends with in middle school. Then I told her about it once, which was a mistake. I think it'll work out okay for you - it's not like he has a reason to be offended.

Same, basically every gossip forum has some sort of legacy or inactive thread mechanism.

No. 382235

Yeah, that makes more sense than arbitrary bans for necroing vs bans for creating new threads instead of posting in old ones

No. 382242

It isn't his fault, he's great. We've just been in a relationship for awhile and things happen? That's the only excuse I can give. It was just a one time thing. I am still with him and plan on being with him and telling him would only cause him stress imo.

No. 382258

>things happen

I mean you made the choice to cheat on him, it didn't just happen to you magically.
Cheaters are so disgusting.

No. 382261

In that case I think it's worse that you don't even have an excuse to stand on, you cheated on him just to do it, because you fucked someone different. Yikes, that's some malethink.

No. 382262

>we've just been in a relationship for a while and things happen? that's the only excuse I can give

You shouldn't be giving yourself an excuse. You fucked up and damaged the relationship (whether he knows it yet or not.) You're clearly not content with him if "we've been together for a while and things happen" sounds to you like a valid excuse to be unfaithful. makes it seem like you're bored and looking for fulfillment from other people. That's a big problem for the relationship, whatever your motivation. Even if it was a "one-time thing", it's still a big betrayal. If "things happen" now, they can "happen" again.

Is there any way he could find out from someone else? if there's any chance of that, you should just bite the bullet and confess, or it'll be 100x worse if he learns from someone else. Then it's betrayal and lying.

No. 382302

The cheating pearl-clutching on this board is so funny. Life isn't black and white.

No. 382306


Because betraying your monogamous partners trust in you and harming their future relationships just because you wanted to hop on another dick isn’t something people should be disgusted by. You sound like a cheater who got rightfully shamed at some point in their life, anon

No. 382314

agreed, i can understand cheating for reasons that have to do with emotional issues, being neglected, feeling like your relationship is over and that he's already moving onto someone else, etc, i think there are definitely some reasons why cheating is more acceptable, but yikes, this really is malethink, and to not think it's not a problem and like people are entitled to taking advantage of other people's sexual health. luckily for anon's bf, it's unlikely that she should pass anything to him considering transmission is more difficult from female to male, but it's still super shitty. worse yet knowing that the bf is 'great'.

no, life isn't black and white, but there are more understandable reasons to cheat. she obviously does not feel bad about it at all. there's a serious problem with betraying your partner for no reason and sleeping in the same bed with them knowing you've betrayed their trust for no reason and continually lying to them as if it's nbd. i can understand if she had issues with him or had mental health problems, or the relationship was already terribly rocky, etc, but there's no reason for this unless she's high or drunk? there are a series of steps that give you plenty of time to go back from before actually fucking someone else. though, ultimately, if she does want to fuck other people this much, she really should just let him go so he can be happy with someone else that doesn't play it fast and loose with his health and trust.

No. 382322

Cheating is only bad from a cultural standpoint, similar to how not long ago, pre-martial sex was considered the devil and anyone who dare do it ruined forever and will never be salvaged, women showing ankles is considered evil and slutty, even a woman going to a man's house was considered wrong and unmoralistic, for all we know in a couple of years from now cheating won't even be a thing unless there's a marriage involved and people will just look back at us and scratch their heads as to why faithfulness or unfaithfulness was so big and made to be such a big deal

Now before you are quick to attack me, explain to me how having romantic and sexual relationships with multiple people, if it wasn't embedded in our culture to be faithful, is wrong, assuming the sex is safe of course

If you can't find a legitimate reason as to why it's as wrong and evil as you're trying to make it out to be, then you are proving my point

No. 382327

It's wrong because people enter a relationship under the condition that their partner be faithful. If they don't want or need that condition, they make a different agreement and THEN fucking someone else is ok. Keeping promises is an ethical concept even kids understand so I'm not sure how you're struggling with it.

It will stay wrong until people change their mind about what they will accept in a partner, until then you either stay single or seek an open relationship.

No. 382331

I'm the cheating OP and honestly I wish my relationship was open. I am so not a jealous person, but he's not into it.

No. 382339

So the issue is the broken promise, not the actual fucking

People break promises all the time, petty ones, hell you probably even broke a few yourself, humans simply aren't meant to be monogamous, socialization is a weird thing, yes it sucks yeah the person is going to be upset but IMO relationship business should just remain between the people in the relationship until there is abuse

No. 382346

>hUmAnS aReNt MeAnT fOr MoNoGaMy

ah, the mating call of a polytard

No. 382347

>explain to me how having romantic and sexual relationships with multiple people, if it wasn't embedded in our culture to be faithful, is wrong, assuming the sex is safe of course
Selfishly lying to people especially those who love you is wrong you stupid bitch.

No. 382349

Issue is lying then, not fucking someone else

No. 382351

> humans simply aren't meant to be monogamous, socialization is a weird thing, yes it sucks yeah the person is going to be upset but IMO relationship business should just remain between the people in the relationship until there is abuse
keep your degeneracy to yourself, thanks. some of us have no problem being monogamous and have no problem not being undiscerning disease vectors.

No. 382356

File: 1551527082558.jpeg (56.94 KB, 600x599, 9B87718C-BEA0-4377-A11B-250644…)

Sometimes I read the “do I pass” threads on /tttt/ of trannies telling other undeniable trannies they pass. It makes me giggle. Strange world over there

No. 382358

Are you genuinely retarded or did you just figure that out now?

No. 382374

Anon there's people who've had millions of partners who are clean, there's virgins and people with only 1 or 2 partners with STDs, protection exists, if you're safe then there's nothing wrong with having a lot of partners outside of the stigma

No. 382376

- the vast majority of people don’t want multiple partners, they want to be sexually exclusive and have one true partner that they can be completely open with and not have to deal with feelings of jealousy/inadequacy

- if being to sleep around and be promiscuous is of such great importance to you and think that those that are monogamous are idiots that don’t understand true human nature then either a) stay within your enlightened poly community, or b) stay single and sleep around as the majority of the world doesn’t agree with your niche viewpoint and are perfectly content eventually settling down and not break each others trust in each other

- you also ignore that a big part of monogamous relationships is having a stable family unit, pregnancy lasts 9 months, infancy 4 years, and dependency a minimum of 16 years. Yeah, most people would want to form a monogamous family so the kids all have the same parents and so that parenting decisions can be made unanimously without the input of non-parental figures

No. 382377

Again, all of these revolve around culture rather than fact, which is my point

Think of cultures and civilizations where the thought of monogamy vs polygamy didn't even pop into people's heads

The only issue with cheating is breaking trust and lying, but even then in that case there's people who lie and break others trust all the time and it's not as blown out of proportion as cheating is

No. 382380

And culture revolves around human nature, so I don’t see what your point is, that’s why cultures globally have more similarities than differences. Pointing out outliers doesn’t detract from the fact that the majority of people want to be monogamous

No. 382384

and those people who have STDs who slept with one person typically have been cheated on or have been lied to. you can absolutely still transmit disease while using condoms. let's not pretend sleeping around doesn't increase your chances of catching something when compared to being monogamous with someone who does not cheat on you and with someone who you know isn't infected.

No. 382404

File: 1551537113484.jpg (108.19 KB, 500x701, (you).jpg)

Jealousy is a normal human reaction and monogamy is a normal human disposition, it has jackshit to do with the idea that "showing ankles is bad".
Have a (You) though

No. 382426

it's obvious that poster is a robot.

No. 382459

sorry old post but i was absolutely scarred by the episode with the bony king of nowhere, the whole show is just creepy in tone! something about the voiceover and the puppets ig

No. 382469

File: 1551546408634.jpg (222.35 KB, 535x700, cancer.jpg)

oh look, I found a comic just for you, anon!

No. 382471

Haha, this is great. Anyone who tries to defend a poly relationship or having multiple open partners is a disgusting retard. That shit doesn't work, and it's always an excuse for guys to fuck multiple women without calling it cheating.

No. 382472

Not to mention having a single parent with multiple partners WILL fuck your kids up. I had a mom with many different stepdads in my life growing up and I became hellbent on only having one good partner/marriage because my mom fucked up my shit. It's mentally exhausting to see people with so many partners, trying to pass it off as normal.

No. 382494

isnt that comic trying to say like, "both of these people think either side is easier, but they both have their problems"? it seems to me like the comic is trying to say poly isn't without its problems, but neither is monogamy and is defending poly, really.

No. 382501

Yeah thats exactly what its saying

No. 382788

I’m married and recently I’ve been looking for friends since I’m living in a foreign country I’ve been having a hard time getting friends. I was using tinder but stopped because obviously everybody wants to fuck. I tried bumble and met two girls who I really enjoyed messaging but we hadn’t had a chance to meet up in person yet, but 4-5 days ago they just stopped messaging me back so I feel like shit. I went back to tinder and kind of got a boost to my confidence from all the guys who matched with me, and even though I stayed in my bio I wanted friends I know 90% of them didn’t even read it or wanna fuck anyway. I agreed to meet up with one guy today for drinks in a bar and he never specifically said he wanted a relationship or sex or anything but I also didn’t tell him I was married. I started feeling really guilty about the whole thing and just started regretting it and tried dropping hints to him that I wanted to cancel our plan, but he kept insisting we hang out anyway and I was literally standing in the train station deciding LAST minute whether to go home or go out with him (I really wanted to go home, the only reason I even considered going out with him was just to not be a bitch kinda standing him up last minute) but I decided to go home and he messaged me asking where I was (I literally didn’t have time to cancel at that point it was like 15 minutes before our meet up time) and I left him waiting like 20 minutes before I said sorry I’m not going. And I feel like shit now. 1. For kinda sorta “cheating” almost, and 2. For standing up the guy.

No. 382792

I am kinda in a similar situation where I got married and live in a foreign country too. Where did you move?

No. 382795

What on earth are you thinking meeting up with tinder guys for friendship? Male friends are garbage to begin with, male friends you met on a hookup app are a disaster waiting to happen. Maybe your husband knows and is naive but usually if a guy saw tinder on his gf/wife's phone, he would assume he's being cheated on and most of the time he'd be right.

No. 382797

this is insanely autistic, jesus christ. anon, how can you think retarded dudes on a hookup app are going to even want to meet when you're married, and keep talking to them? honestly this is a nightmare waiting to happen. you're going to end up getting acid attacked by some undercover incel that feels maligned by you for wasting their time when they find out you're married. stay home and do not join any dating apps, for fuck's sake, for your own safety. meet up with girls from these apps ONLY, or, better yet, just meet girls on hobby community sites and such

No. 382798

I hate my sister's husband so much. He makes constant misogynistic and racist jokes to our faces. He sends "funny" videos that usually include some naked, fat woman dancing or just gross fetish videos that he thinks are hilarious to our family's group chat that is normally used for sending vacation pictures and similar events. We ended up creating a new group chat without him, which he of course got upset by when he found out.

He moans and chews loudly while he eats. He's obese and has sleep apnea, so he needs one of those machines to help him breathe during the night, but only laughs it off and calls himself "indestructible" when the doctor has told him that his condition is so bad it's a miracle he's not dead already.

Because he's overweight, he's always sweaty, always grunting and gurgling and making disgusting noises. My sister is overweight too, but since they now have a child together she has taken steps to lose weight and make sure to feed the kid healthy meals and encourage him to try new things, even if she doesn't like the taste herself.

Meanwhile her husband will sit at the other side of the table during family dinners making gagging noises and pretend to throw up whenever his kid eats a vegetable, which of course the kid who is barely 2 years old picks up on and then refuses to eat. And when both my sister, our older sister AND our mother tells him to stop, he will say "it's just a joke" and "this is what happens when there's only women in a family, you all turn into humourless cows".

That's another thing. My mother threw our abusive dad out of the house years ago and started building a strong community of only women around herself after being alienated from us for so long. It's the best thing that ever happened to our family and we're all very close. Going on trips together, planning parties together and always supporting each other. I'm pretty sure that he feels threatened by the fact that there's all these women who will tell him to shut the fuck up when he's being rude, because his own mother spoiled and is still spoiling the crap out of him.

My mother has straight up said that if he doesn't better himself, she's gonna bring my sister and her child home to live with her, because she doesn't want her grandchild to grow up with a father calling his mother a 'bitch' to her face during family dinners, or just generally turn him into an awful person.

What infuriated me the most was that our mother confessed to me that she sees a lot of our dad's early abusive behaviour in my sister's husband. She's spent all these years healing from the trauma, only to watch her own daughter possibly about to go through the same thing.

His only redeeming qualities might be that he works very hard at his job and have moments of being more genuine and affectionate with my sister. Sad thing though, our dad also had his nicer moments, but it didn't stop him from tearing apart our family and sowing fear and tension that it took years to repair.

No. 382815


I mean I know that. I said in my post I know they don’t want friendship I just got so lonely and desperate I guess.

My post might make more “sense” if I add some more context though: I’ve been depressed for a while but since I’ve experienced a rape last year and some other sexual assaults/harassment I’ve started sometimes feeling really depressed and fucked up and like I deserve bad things to happen to me so I almost purposely go out of my way to put myself in danger. I’ve gone out for walks late at night in dark places, I’ve hung out in places where I’ve been sexually harassed before at night, sometimes getting myself drunk before I do so. Sometimes I fantasize about getting kidnapped and raped and murdered. I'm addicted now to the thrill of that kind of behaviour.

No. 382822

Your mother is a good woman

No. 382824

drop the phone and get some help

No. 382827

why aren't you working this out with a therapist and your husband? have you told your husband anything at all about this behavior? your husband should be putting you on house arrest or sectioning you considering you're not coping well (understandably, but the point remains that you're not well) and are a serious danger to yourself.

No. 382854

Planning on outing those guys when you get bored of them?

No. 382873

My boyfriend emotionally abuses me. When he gets angry with me, he insults me, he tells me horrible things and convinces me that I deserve it. What hurts me the most, is when he decides not to talk to me to punish me.
And I know, I know that I deserve someone better, that I could be with any other person in the world, I know that no one deserves to be treated as he treats me, but for some reason, I have learned to live thinking this is what I deserve.

My parents were alcoholics since I was little. Currently, my mother is dead and my father does not even live in the same city where I live and we barely have contact. Having to keep those secrets for years (until they divorced, when I was a teenager), only made me want to fit in every way possible. I let people use me, friends to ignore me, convincing me that if I did not, I would be alone.

I ended up having a group of friends for whom I am always the second option, a family that ignores me because they have better things to think about than me, and the few people who care about me … I'm ashamed to have to tell them everything I'm going through, because the truth (and this is my confession), is that I love him very much.

When we are well, when there is no discussion, he is the best person I could imagine and I know that at those moments he loves me and cares for me (he is a very distant and cold person with other people but me). He shows me in all possible ways and has done things for me that even people who have known me for more than 20 years have not done or would do. I know it will sound as if I'm defending him, I wish there were more reasons to be this bad, I wish I could say that he is a horrible person and that he deserves to be left alone, but the truth is that he has problems containing his anger, he has problems managing his emotions. And I end up paying for it.

That's the problem. Maybe there are three discussions a month, not even many, but the things he says are repeated over and over in my head and I can not stop crying for days.
It's as if all these years I tried to convince myself that I deserve to be loved, that I deserve to have people by my side, and then all those people, who are supposed to love me and take care of me, repeat how lonely I am I because I am useless, that nobody supports me, that I am a disgust of person.

That, along with the fact that my friends ignore me, they never have time to see me, they never ask me how I am, it makes my head not convince me otherwise.

I know what people will probably tell me, to seek help, to get out of all this, that it is better to be alone, but sometimes it is not so easy to leave everything behind. If I lose him, the only person who stays by my side (despite the arguments), I have nothing. I do not have a job, I do not have a house, I do not have anyone to turn to. I'm stuck in something that I've searched for myself and I regret a lot of living my life like that. There are days where I just do not want to continue with all this.
My life is a shit since I have use of reason and this is just a bump in the road, something that makes me think in days like I could end it all.

No. 382874

My parents were alcoholics since I was little. Currently, my mother is dead and my father does not even live in the same city where I live and we barely have contact.

holy shit anon, are you me? this is my exact situation.

you do deserve to be loved and supported. you deserve to be dating someone who makes the effort to control their temper and not use you as their punching bag. you are a whole person with as much right to be happy as him, he shouldn't be taking his stress out on you and then expecting you to just forgive and forget it.

No. 383012

Sometimes I shitpost selfies on Facebook groups and I indulge in the negative attention and continue shitposting in the comments.

No. 383013

Sorry if this doesn't belong here, but it's a confession and I have to get it out… I just cut and threw away 8 years of being clean for no reason other than I felt like I wanted to claw out of my own skin. I have no idea what's wrong with me. I just feel the need to escape but have no idea where to escape to.

No. 383061

I had a dream (nightmare?) last night about the Columbine kids assfucking each other in front of all the people they were about to shoot. It was creepy and I feel unclean for dreaming about it.

No. 383068

You didn't throw anything away. Those years are still there and still an accomplishment. You can do this, one backward step doesn't negate everything you've ever worked for. You can still do it, 8 years is just like an amazing way to start, you can continue them now

No. 383083

That actually sounds fun. Any good stories from your exploits, anon?

No. 383089

If you like anime and you are over 13-14 there is something seriously wrong with you.

No. 383110

No. 383117

Wrong in what kind of way?

No. 383143

I've been having a hard time with money (the economy is bad and it's hard to find solid employment) and I've been shoplifting out of necessity

But lately it's taken a bit of a turn and I've started stealing things more for fun and greed. I'm terrible.

No. 383144

Guess that's everybody since anime is so normal now. This type of extreme thinking is cringier than your average anime fan and makes you sound like an edgy 18 year old who just got out of their weeb phase.

Sorry, but this meme is just so played out lol.

No. 383145

The only way you could possibly know if anime is best suited to 13-14 year olds is if you watched a lot of it, enough to make accurate generalizations. But if you watched a lot of it you'd know you're wrong, so it's a pretty pointless opinion.

No. 383148

i used to shoplift food to feed my family when we were in a huge money pit. i stopped as soon as things were better. i know its nice to get things just because you wanted them and there be no financial repercussions but man its really not worth it. too much stress and then the possibility of spending a night in jail for some makeup or a t shirt is lame af

makes me think back to a couple years ago when the tumblr shoplifting dox was going on, omg it was great.

No. 383150

Every now and then while shopping something would be buried at the bottom of the pram so I’d end up forgetting to pay for it.. I feel like it has almost become a habit for me at this point and I feel disgusting

No. 383154

You’re the type to think all things animated are for kids aren’t you.

No. 383173

nta but I've watched a lot of anime in the past so no, but I agree that if you're an adult that likes anime there's a high chance that you're really immature

No. 383231

I IRL ship Meghan Murphy and Benjamin Boyce

No. 383238

I don’t watch anime but this is such a dumb, ignorant generalization. Yes, there are immature people that watch anime. There are also mature people who probably just want to watch something fun after they unwind at night.

No. 383332

I constantly shoplift medicine to abuse and get high with.
I hate it. I hate it so much but my impulsive urges take over me too hard, I know I need to discuss this with my therapist and stop it not only for my health but before I get caught and because it’s not fair to the stores and shit. My addiction issues are just coming back strong

No. 383343

What kind of medication are you shoplifting that allows you to get high?

No. 383347


Same boat, man. I didn't think a relapse would look like this, but here I am.

Take care of yourself the best you can, and be as safe as possible.

No. 383370

What medicine is even available over the counter that gets people high?

No. 383373

My parents just found my Instagram and I'm mortified

No. 383377

How did that even happen?

No. 383380

I was retarded. My account was public (not anymore) and had my real name attached to it, and I have a very uncommon surname.

No. 383387

>pulling a moo

don't do that, anon, please.

No. 383393

Was there anything bad?

No. 383396

Not really, actually. I overreacted a bit, was just shocked to see them in my story views. Sorry if you were expecting some crazy story here.

No. 383407

Nta but dxm probably. In some countries you can even get Tylenol Codeine and the likes otc. You can extract the opioids and get high that way.

No. 383449

File: 1551757972438.jpg (52.94 KB, 499x750, e5c[1].jpg)


Wow you are really triggered. Only children and maladjusted weirdos like anime.

No. 383456


That's how I feel about people older than 13 who obsess with superhero movies and superwholock

No. 383457

Not all only children! I never liked anime. (I am perhaps a little triggered)

No. 383475

I constantly anonymously shittalk myself and bring on conversations about myself that last for hours.
I'm literally addicted to it.

No. 383490

I don’t know what’s more pathetic, the image of someone relatively internet famous going onto anonymous spaces to start shit about themselves or someone who starts rumours about themselves among their friend/family circles and workspaces so that people actually talk about them

No. 383502

daily reminder that tripfags are the most pathetic people in existance

No. 383520

I'm overweight and I told myself I would really buckle down and lose weight.

Yesterday I ate like 3000 calories due to stress.

I hate myself.

No. 383537

It's weird how often I see women talking about not liking penetration because it just feels so fucking good to me? I thought the female human body was designed to enjoy it since evolution tends to reward behaviors that improve the chance of passing on genes with pleasure, and having a dick up you definitely does improve that

No. 383541

I feel like they’re a vocal minority, the more likely scenario is that the majority of women enjoy penetration by can’t come cum from it unless it’s something designed to hit their gspot or they manage to get into a position that hits it just right

No. 383552

I really like it too. But as >>383541
mentioned, I can’t cum from it but I enjoy how it feels. Orgasm isn’t the most important part of sex for me but it is for a lot of other people

No. 383562

Why are orgasms generally not important for women, but it's just expected that a man always gets to orgasm?
I've always found that women who say that are coping hard with the reality of their sex lives.

No. 383563

I used to say I didn't care about having an orgasm until I met my current bf who's a great lay and makes me cum during 99% of our sex session.
Ultimately it was just a cope because I couldn't imagine being with someone who took the time to make me cum every single time we had sex.

No. 383570

I expect to orgasm when I have sex and I get treated like I'm being unreasonable, even though it's actually very easy to make me come anyway. It's insane. Nobody would call a man unreasonable for saying he has sex for an orgasm.

No. 383571

This. There seems to be a general culture around believing that cumming isn’t the end goal for women during sex and that expecting their sexual partner to take the time to actually please them is unreasonable.

No. 383575

>Why are orgasms generally not important for women, but it's just expected that a man always gets to orgasm?

Because society has been brainwashed to think that the female orgasm is too elusive or too much effort to achieve frequently, and so we've given males participation trophies for making us feel a little good or just okay during sex. If we don't orgasm, well well, that's because it's soooooo hard to do in the first place! Couldn't be that some males just suck and are extremely low effort in bed. Imagine if cunnilingus were as commonly expected as fellatio.

No. 383579

>Imagine if cunnilingus were as commonly expected as fellatio.

I think it’s becoming that way imo I see a lot more dudes being really into it. And if you’re not into it you get made fun of.
Honestly, if you’re into women and don’t eat pussy, you’re a fucking coward.
Which leads me to the confession that my gay ass really wants to get a girlfriend and eat her out.

Don’t give up hope anon, try to look into why you eat the way that you do and how to cope with it. I have a problem with binge eating, but what really helped me was writing down why I wanted to binge and my urge would immediately stop. You can do it anon, I believe in youuu!

No. 383586

>female orgasm is too elusive or too much effort to achieve

I hate this mindset, because it’s so obviously wrong and any woman who masturbates knows this. Sex is just completely penis centric, hell it even fucking ends when the man cums.

No. 383590

I thought both parts of your post related and you had a problem with being addicted to binge eating out pussy

No. 383592

I literally could not give a shit about what someone’s boobs or vagina look like. It’s so frustrating that we can become so insecure about something so stupid. Pisses me off seeing people bitch about someone not having perfect boobs or genitals, like get a fucking life lmao.
Also seeing girls unhappy with the way they look and trying to achieve an unrealistic goals makes me so fucking sad too.

At this point I refuse to nitpick about the way someone looks, I never really did it before but now I’m trying to stop those thoughts completely.

No. 383601

File: 1551806415556.jpeg (77.96 KB, 720x960, 0E98EB58-0EF2-47E5-B1D4-3D7592…)

I want a Japanese character tattoo and I’m scared of fucking up

No. 383603

I'm a stupid, young, self hating lesbian. When ever I feel particularly low I mess around with men I barely know and it makes me feel sick. I just want to get my head together and my life right, but I just feel so disgusting

No. 383607

>women who say that are coping hard with the reality of their sex lives
>it’s so obviously wrong and any woman who masturbates knows this

It feels kind of shitty when people say this because I’ve never even come remotely close to orgasm despite my husband and I having tried practically every trick in the book. He loves giving cunnilingus and using toys on me but I never feel any pleasure. Masturbation doesn’t do anything for me either. Neither does penetration, but at least with penetrative sex one of us is enjoying it so it doesn’t feel like a complete waste of time.

It’s not something I ever talk about with anyone else yet I still feel guilty like I’m somehow hurting other women by perpetuating the idea that female orgasm is super elusive. But it’s true for me…

No. 383622

I'm not coping with my sex life. Orgasm does not feel that special to me, no more special than the other aspects of sex. I enjoy the physical closeness, emotional comfort far more… Orgasm comes like #3 on my list. It is actually annoying to have stimulation down there, and I don't like my partner touching me while we are engaged. No one else needs to have the same expectations of sex as I do.

You are jumping to a pretty big conclusion by labeling people who don't like the same things you do.

Orgasm absolutely is elusive for me and that has nothing to do with my partner.

No. 383627

File: 1551809605951.jpg (481.59 KB, 1200x952, makwis12.jpg)

I think it's very cheap to go after Thomas Kinkade's art and I LIKE HIS ART.

There's nothing wrong with this and there's nothing wrong with wanting to be draped in the comfort of a nice, calming cottage scene. Just because it's commercialized and his art is woven into 12 x 12 throws owned by every other family in the Midwest does not mean it isn't enjoyable or nice art and it's very cheap to go after it. It's like shitting on Bieber. It's just too easy, and Bieber is a talented young man who does make good tunes. I think it's very pathetic to go after such generally enjoyable and light-hearted media.

No. 383636

>talented young man

How did a senior find this website

No. 383639

I'm not a senior, I just think Bieber was a talented kid and he's still a young man. Plus, he looks like a manlet so I think this contributes to how I see him.

No. 383644

fight me my grandma loves these things and i do too

No. 383688

You sound underage

No. 383713

people think that commercial art = bad art, but it's not. it's cozy. it's nice. it makes him money. that's more than you can say for most artists.

No. 383790

Late response but yeah, DXM, I used to abuse benadryl too when my ED was bad because it'd put me in a rock-like coma until the hallucinations on it got too bad. I don't even particularly like DXM it's just what I can get my hands on easily.

No. 383791

Not to trigger anything, but how is this high enjoyable for you? When I abused it, I would get nauseous in the most unpleasant way imaginable for hours and itch like a madwoman.
Will agree that benadryl knocked me out like a rock though.

No. 383793

I abuse Delsym which is basically pure dxm, the only really awful part is drinking it down since it's got a plasticy feel. After that I'm just sorta.. drugged out, I used to be addicted to opiates so I guess it reminds me of that? And then I lay down and it just feels like.. floating through space with a blanket.

It's really not all that great but like I said, I'm a very impulsive person and I sort of.. robotically go and down it. I need to go back to a rehab program but I'm desperately searching for a job and I'm hoping that'll help end my urges, or just the way I act out on them.

No. 384185

File: 1551952618069.gif (420.19 KB, 400x218, Vc1qi23vmo1_400.gif)

I fucking LOVE getting kissed on the cheek
Mouth kisses are overrated

No. 384227

I like hand kisses, too.

No. 384237

this incredibly adorable anons lol

No. 384267

NTA but delsym is absolutely delicious. Hbr tastes horrific though. The extended release honestly works out better anyways.

No. 384305

Me too Anon!!! I insist that my bf kiss my cheeks and forehead first, always.

No. 384306

forehead kisses are the best

No. 384307

Stop that! Self harming with sex is one of the worst things you can do to yourself. You're not disgusting for doing it, but you are harming yourself which isn't ok. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, don't spend it being cruel to yourself. If you can, try seeing a LGB friendly therapist. It will help loads even if it feels silly at first.

Love you Anon, I hope you feel better soon. Heart eyes

No. 384346

I'm a loser. No education, dead end job, dating a single dad with no job.
I wish my friends would understand that despite all that, I'm happy.

No. 384352

Eh, you sound pretty average anon. Nothing wrong with being average, I think more people should be able to be content with just leading an average life and still be happy. As long as more of your days are happy than sad I don’t see how you’re a loser

No. 384358

my unemployed, still living at home 30 year old brother uses twitter to brag about how he drives drunk and has sex with prostitutes and calls people who are supposed to be his friends "cunts"
he has serious mental issues that no one seems to take seriously.
he's a paranoid, narcissist and a pathological liar.
he's been kicked out of college for a year because he posted a video on facebook making fun of his school and teachers.
my parents don't know any of this and sometimes I feel sick with the stress of what he might do next

No. 384374

They definitely are. Nothing cringier than being this upset over media lol. Seems like my post really triggered them too so you know I hit the nail on the head.

No. 384402

the internet has taught us that we have no worth unless we can humble brag on instagram or facebook and come up with a witty comment about it on twitter. but thats all bullshit. if youre happy then cool, you do you.

turns out, being 'average' is actually kind of nice.

No. 384462

File: 1552038627465.gif (1001.44 KB, 200x200, 2r139uyt44.gif)

I made a thread and it was going great at first but now after multiple threads, it's kind of gone done hill and there's obvious underaged/normie posters everywhere
and don't get me started on the cow tipping
At this point I regret making the thread

No. 385101

On my old computer I have thousands of pictures of robots from /r9k/ saved before picture threads were so heavily modded against. Years and years of robot pictures. I had a larger folder before, but I accidentally deleted it trying to change my OS because I was retarded. But, even my existing folder is nothing to shake a stick at. I had various folders of users with multiple pictures, and I would hoard and sort their pictures whenever I would find them. I had little nicknames for most of the people. I don't feel guilty about it even though it was a weird thing to do, since I did it as a fairly young teen. I do feel slightly weird about being one of the pioneer /r9k/ "collectors" and having encouraged other people to do it. I used to also dump their photos in silly threads followed with text like
>tfw no comfy red sweater bf
that was vaguely related to the image I'd post. I don't know if I was the first person to do that though, I think someone else did that before and I just thought it looked cool and fun. I do wonder what some of the people I saved a lot of are up to these days, and if they still go on /r9k/.

No. 385106

i'm so sad for you that you ever thought them cute or desirable. the only tolerable sadsack male i ever spoke to from r9k (that i met way before he became an r9k tripfag) went on there to mock them and hated them and i gained much more respect for him for realizing (without any assistance) that they're pathetic and so fucking gross, despite doing stupid shit like being a tripfag. every guy on r9k is complete trash and no, they have no empathy, and no, you wouldn't even be the one that changes their mind or heart or whatever. no unironic robot is a cute person

No. 385112

Seconding this.
Most robots are selfish autists and narcissists. They lack empathy, they think only in tunnel vision of what benefits or doesn't benefit themselves. I wouldn't recommend getting yourself too involved thinking that they've changed much at all over several years.
I think it's okay to have a curiosity of what they're up to on the grounds of being 4chan cows, but don't expect much.

No. 385125

Don't worry, I have very little empathy for them now! Only curiosity at the people I spent so much time researching back then.

No. 385207

If I had a choice to bring my mother back from the dead, or bring back my childhood pet cats. I would choose my cats without a second thought. Fuck, I would rather have back my lost childhood stuffed animals than have my mom back. After all these years I still really fucking hate my mom, and I'm glad she's dead.

No. 385215

i still like michael jacksons music. i don't think i should be considered a bad person if i want to listen to "thriller" during halloween. i believe he was a piece of shit, but i can't unbuy his albums.

No. 385216

Is anyone even saying that though? Who even buys music tho

No. 385218

i was a fan as a child, so the music i have is from old CDs i got as gifts or from relatives.

No. 385219

anon, it's about the public cover-up / pay-off / corruption and the hive-mind of rabid fans. noone cares if you dance silly on a holiday

No. 385255

I think Roman Polanski should be hanged by the balls but Rosemary's baby is still one of my favorite movies.

No. 385270

I quit my job this morning. It was my first; I was only there for 3 weeks. I'd been a NEET for two years, and was desperately looking for a job. I got one, and realized why I became a NEET in the first place and left. That place was fucking horrible and nothing but 1-3 star reviews on Indeed, especially for my position. Garbage job, shit hours, hell of a drive, no proper training, tons of OSHA laws broken. No regrets. I'd rather apply for autismbux.

No. 385287

Is it weird I never got bulled in school?

I was weird asf growing up but somehow I never felt ostracized. I didn't go to a super liberal private school like my sister. I went to a regular public high school. I talked about liking yaoi and anime a lot.

People in my hometown tended to be really Christian but nobody ever asked me where I went to church or excluded me for being non-religious. So I've never felt persecuted for being non-religious in my life and can't sympathize with atheism advocacy groups. I also was Asian in a mostly white town and never felt people were super racist. Definitely nothing overt.

I feel like my life has been too easy, so I don't sympathize with people who were bullied. Nor do I sympathize with minority advocacy groups like ones for Asians, atheists, or women.

Either that or I'm too spergy to notice when people are acting mean to me and I should be upset.

No. 385310

As a kid I didn't know I had a vagina, or that they were even a thing, I just thought it was nothing there? when I had a lesson on puberty and periods when I was about 9/10 therefore it was a big shock. Was I the only one like this lol

No. 385320

>I feel like my life has been too easy, so I don't sympathize with people who were bullied. Nor do I sympathize with minority advocacy groups like ones for Asians, atheists, or women.

It's fine, great even, to not have been bullied and that you felt comfortable and accepted.
Now, I think you should check that lack of empathy as it's not required to have been victim of the same stuff to sympathize for other person's pain.

No. 385321

I thought that my urethra and vagina where the same time until around the same time.

No. 385323

I read yaoi but I dislike most of the girls who like it as well

I remember reading a one shot where the guy was looking for a bf for his sister and ended up with him - so the guy suggested introducing his younger brother to her.. the story was meh but kinda cute. I scrolled throught the comments and all of them were about how his sister was annoying, how they wanted her to keep being single and how they wished for a love triangle between the younger brother and the gay couple. Unless they're really young, there's no excuse for being like this. I might be overgeneralizing but a lot of fujoshis do come across as self hating and bitter.

No. 385327

I never knew what my own vagina looked like until I was 15, does that count?

No. 385367

Boyfriend fucker sex addict here again
I fucked another guy with a girlfriend, he literally decides to mention he had a girlfriend after I fucked him
I need to stop but I can't it seems no matter what I do I always end up fucking any guy I'm alone with why
I'm going to start getting STD tests every month
I want to feel bad but I can't, I only feel bad that I don't feel bad

No. 385368

Stop being alone with guys if you don't want to fuck them. It's not hard.

No. 385372

Thing is I don't have to try, I'll always end up in a situation where I'm alone with a man and end up fucking him

It will start by doing things such as training new employees, carpooling, or my roommate will bring one or two over to fix something

Mind you this is how it starts, once I've fucked them I'll voluntarily start having them come over and whatnot, however I only give them a call back out of my own freewill and if they were good or not, I've definitely been a ghost to some who just sucked at it

No. 385374

Tell his girlfriend about this if you can.

No. 385380

I don't know how to contact any of them without acting like a loon and going in their house, the most I can really do is leave lots of obvious marks and stall them until their girlfriends get suspicious

No. 385402

This is such a sad way to live.

No. 385421

Lol you're stressing me out

No. 385426

i just don't understand what you're getting out of this. literally i'd rather be a functioning alcoholic or something that actually provides me tangible effects/escapism. you're not getting anything out of this.

No. 385505

Although I was one of the first anons to argue with him back on /g/, I almost admire dick sperg manon's persistence.
I'm not sure why he does what he does (autism? humiliation fetish? desperate for confirmation bias?) but I've started to feel oddly comforted when I see his posts. I hope he can stop being a misogynist and get over his dysmorphia.

No. 385513

He's just latching onto something he can't change to justify his sad life like many insecure people.

No. 385587

I'm a sex addict so I'm getting orgasms, if I don't get fucked I'll start getting sexually frustrated and feel lots of pressure down there

No. 385591

It's called masturbation, and most men are worse in bed than your vibrator so it's obviously not that.

No. 385596

You obviously get some sort of satisfaction out of being fucked by a dude who already has a gf, you could easily vent them out if you really wanted to, but you seem to relish in being a degenerate, so keep doing your thing I guess…

No. 385643

I hope you know you are known as the town whore in all those guys group chats and they share photos of you and discuss your physical flaws in great detail

Love yourself anon. Buy some sex toys instead

No. 385699

Projecting much?

No. 385704

I don't see how it's your problem.
A man's infidelity isn't your responsibility.
You should stop because these men are dangerous sociopaths and liars. If they can lie to their 'loved' ones, they can lie to you too about…oh say, like raging STDs.
That's why you should hate them and feel bad for fucking them, because they are inherently hateful men.

No. 385705

Your reply doesn't make sense fam, facts are facts. If you think men don't gossip as much as women, and in far worse terms you're wrong. You should also question the queue of men outside your house with their dicks out. At least start charging these guys if you are gonna give it up so easy. You're just saving them money hiring an escort.

No. 385767

look into reading about sex as self harm anon. I used to feel the same way (except you know…not being a degenerate and fucking guy's with gfs but I mean whatever lmao) and would seek out sex at every opportunity even if it knew that the guy hated my guts or I wouldn't get any pleasure from it. seek counseling please because every situation ESPECIALLY when you know it's men who are showing their ass as liars and cheaters won't do you any good other than making u feel more like ass over and over when in actuality u really just need emotional support/a hug.

No. 385772

I’m not gonna tell you what everyone’s told you before, you know it’s a shitty thing to do but I just want to caution you to be safe out there anon. If not for your own sexual health then for your sanity. Going around, fucking anyone gf or no is asking for stalkers and harassment and potentially worse. And don’t forget these guys gfs could be just as dangerous if they find out. Please seek some help for this before you dig your own grave.

No. 386392

Feel like a shallow piece of shit for wanting to dump my bf because of his diet. I didn't know how bad it was until we went to dinner recently. He literally only ate things covered in cheese and even ordered a side of butter and cheese for his already cheese based meal. He announces to me when he's drinking water because he normally lives off soda. He hates any and all vegetables. He's also a smoker, which isn't part of his diet, but contributes to the overall gross factor… his cum is like battery acid. I want out so bad but I know this is a silly thing to dislike about a person.

No. 386400

guys don't nitpick looks, females do
are you aware you're on a female dominated board?

No. 386429

No anon. None of us aware we are on a female board. We'd like to thank you for this reminder service.

No. 386430

File: 1552521302400.png (3.65 MB, 4984x3144, 1514092309581.png)

Funny you mention

No. 386432

>guys don’t nitpick looks

Seriously? This is a favourite pastime of misogynists

No. 386435

I'm afraid of becoming a pedophile.

Since I was 12 years old, I always had this sense of being responsible for younger kids. I always tried to become someone they admired, some sort of "role model". Not to all kids, but only for the quirky/shy ones, because they reminded me of my younger self, who had a lot of respect for teenagers and older kids (in my mind, they always seemed to be from another planet and I kinda wished to have a bond with one of them). I guess having two younger brothers also played a good part on that side of me.

Growing up (16-18 years old) the satisfaction I got of "being admired" didn't go away. I even started to develop a "motherly" feeling for cute younger kids. Bonus points if they were shy and introverted.

I don't know, but if I can get an smile out of these kids, I feel so proud and happy. I don't really feel atracted to them, I hate shotacon or lolicon and find that shit very disgusting and disturbing. But I can't help the urge of wanting to adopt a cute shy kid whenever I meet one… I want to isolate them from society so they won't become a teen/adult with shitty morals and idelogies. I want to take them to Disneyland, to watch nice movies with them, to teach them things, to help them achieve their dreams or some romantic shit idk.

I've been told this is just nature (like, maybe my womb wants to make a baby of something, ha) but I'm not sure. There's this kid who takes music lessons an hour just before mine (he may be 10 years old), and since I cheered for him on a concert we had and he smiled at me, I've been trying to make him smile again everytime we meet (that is, the ten seconds he takes to leave the classroom and look briefly in my direction befores he goes downstairs). I think I've never heard his voice, he's really really quiet and calm. Wish I could talk to him a bit.

Btw, I'm 19 now, and I just hope this situation doesn't become a fetish of some sort when I reach adulthood…

No. 386436

>I want to isolate them from society

Go seek therapy before you hurt someone. You might not sexually abuse a child but you seem to have really weird tendencies towards them

No. 386438

>jump straight to pedophilia
>but my feelings aren't sexual! ever! gross!
Hmm, smells like a bluff. You wouldn't jump to that conclusion if it didn't ever veer into that territory.
What you detailed otherwise just sounds very maternal/caring, the sort of nature perhaps a teacher should have (although you should know boundaries ofc and not get carried away). Just more dedicated to children's wellbeing than the average adult, if it hadn't been for the pedoshit I'd swear my mother could have written it haha.

But don't lie to yourself. If you've thought of fucked up shit get help.

No. 386439

How did you write all that and not once mention whether or not you are sexually attracted to children? That's what a pedo is, if you aren't then wtf are you rambling on about?

Unless you're lying to yourself, you just sound like a weirdo who finds kids cute. Get a grip.

No. 386441

Sorry actually, you did mention you are not sexually attracted to kids. Which makes your post even more retardes.

No. 386456

This was the biggest waste of space post. Why even write this? Literally the defining feature of pedophilia is being sexually attracted to them and you supposedly aren't so why is this post even here

No. 386491

I don't think I'll ever get over my internalized misogyny. There's just something about other women, that I never feel comfortable around them, or can be that close of friends with women. I'm close with female family members, but just can't relate to other women to be friends with them. I also always assume that if a book, show, or movie stars a woman, or was made by a woman, that it's got a high chance of being boring. I like when I'm wrong about those assumptions, but I still always have them.

No. 386509

I feel the same anon, I don't know what it is, I really do try but even in pretending to care about certain women's issue (for example: society pressures to look good) generally I can hear the fakeness in my voice. I do like being friends with other girls, I just magnify their flaws. Even with media, I find it waaaay easier to hate female characters/celebrities/strangers on tv. And I automatically dismiss everything made by women. I am trying to rewire my brain (because I know logically it's dumb) but it's actually relieving knowing someone else is the same. I feel extra bad because everyone thinks I'm a super good feminist irl (I do believe women should have equal rights as men).

[Sorry I keep deleting becaus of errors in typing].

No. 386515

i used to have these thoughts and then it kinda hit me how fucking damaging it is to think like that and how it’ll probably only lead to bad shit down the line, like screwing myself out of an opportunity bc of bitterness. now if those thoughts intrude i quickly cut it off and get real with myself. i caught myself doing it a while back and within a few seconds i was like jesus christ, i didn’t need to go there in my mind, let’s let other people do whatever the fuck they wanna do when they’re not hurting anyone. intrusive thoughts are a bitch and a half but we can still try our best to correct ourselves

No. 386543

This is self hate, surely.
>his cum is like battery acid
I lol'd, sorry Anon. Make him eat some fruit

No. 386557

Why don’t you stop giving him head if it tastes so bad?? Self respect, Jesus.

No. 386565

I literally only gave him head once. I have not done it since. I haven’t even tried to fuck him. When I grow a pair and remind myself I can leave for any reason, ideally soon, I’m out.

No. 386654

lol the passive agressiveness in that post is off the charts

No. 386746

I love being a woman in most respects (aside from the shit men put us through) and maybe this is some weird fujoshit, but on occasion I feel real sad that I wasn't born a bi man instead. I could've just become a bear and fucked a bunch of bottoms without having to worry about societal judgement/having to keep my virginity. Currently het male subs are scarce and I can't fucking sleep with them with no strings attached anyway because muh virginity and muh purity. Maybe that's just pressure I put on myself and remnants of "not like the other girls" days, but I feel it.

>inb4 but gay men are oppressed you bitch

Yeah, I know, that's why it's stoopid and I'm shamed and confessing.

No. 386749

Were you raised religious or in a more traditional culture? that would help explain it.

I know what its like anon but we have to make a good life for ourselves somehow.

No. 386756

Not even, my mother married multiple times…but she did shame both sexes for being promiscuous (ONS and FWBS) regularly in our discussions during my teens. She also questioned my clothes when I was younger a few times which, although minor, may have stuck with me. Always felt gross about it. On top of actually falling for some weird purityfag rhetoric online maybe it stuck together.

How have you coped with these feelings? Might not be the right thread to ask in. But I feel like even if I lose my virginity in a LTR and we break up I'll be "used." It's awful.

No. 386761

Reading women's history and getting more acquainted with feminism helped me, personally. And I don't mean the soft corporate feminism that sells you empowering yogurt and complains about trivial things. Learning about the history of prostitution and knowing people involved in it was very moving, I met some very kind hearted people and read about women thrust into horrible circumstances. The emphasis on purity and virginity is hypocritical and inconsistent. Virginity can only be valued at the expense of others, you can't be a person that is good and equitable to others while pedestalizing virginity. In a sense I thought of it as a reflection of the sort of person I wanted to be and how I wanted to relate to others.

It also helps to look at the sort of men who are gaga over virgins, so much of their professed preference comes from a point of hate and misogyny. By contrast men who didn't care seemed better adjusted.

No. 386779

File: 1552603788583.jpg (5 KB, 200x229, ezcPqFa.jpg)

>I feel real sad that I wasn't born a bi man instead. I could've just become a bear and fucked a bunch of bottoms without having to worry about societal judgement/having to keep my virginity.

Or pregnancy
BUT to kind of piggyback off your post, it really makes me see why fujo fakebois do what they do. Men in general can be as slutty as they want and no one bats an eye and as a woman you have to worry about all kinds of shit. If you pose as a man, you don't have to worry about societal judgment and have the advantage of hiding behind trans rights people then you're pretty much supported and free from that judgement.
Idk if this has already been said in the fakeboi thread but yeah.

No. 386912

I like those dumb BuzzFeed lists about cheap shit on Amazon.

No. 386914

I'm a camgirl but I hate it yet I feel like I'll do it forever because I'm very depressed and can't get a normal job or have any aspirations. I think prostitution and any kind of sex work is absolutely evil and it destroys lives of so many women, there's actually a few exceptions of women being truly fulfilled working in this kind of field and those are the privileged girls that only do it for the attention but even those end up being mentally scarred by what they're doing even if they claim sex work eliberated and helped them, they're too afraid to come to the realization it did the exact same opposite. I wish there would be a bigger anti-sex work movement that would actually include ex sex workers but it seems very hard to actively and publicly be anti sex work since you'll get attacked by the lib fems that got brainwashed by men into thinking it eliberates them. My dream is to one day write a book about this issue, I don't care if it will be published or not.
Sage for sperging and being a camwhore

No. 386930

Stop dreaming about writing that book and just start working on it. Dreaming about it won't make you a writer but you clearly have things you want to say.
Aim to write a page a day of utter shit, it gets the ball rolling so on your off days you can edit it down.
I won't lie, most people don't care about this stuff or what your suggestions for society are, but people like articles and books by sex workers so that might give you an in if you ever get it finished.

No. 387052

It's dumb but the reason why I won't date guys from my race is because I know my father had an older son with another woman but it's supposed to be secret and I never met him. I don't know his name or what he looks like and I don't want to have a bad surprise. Although, no matter which parents he's supposed too look like he must look ugly as fuck so there's that.

No. 387069

I would love to read your book.
>>386930 is right, work every day a little to make your dream come true. I believe in you anon and I want you to be happy.

No. 387103

You don't mention being sexually attracted to them but the desire to isolate them is concerning.

No. 387106

My mom's physician put her on an anti-anxiety medication in conjunction with another med to help her quit smoking.
I hope like in the past and like a proper addict she makes excuses and is on the medication for longer than intended. Because she's been a lot less narcissistic and unbearable while on the medication. I haven't typed about something horrible that my mom did to me in the vent thread here in almost a month, and that's a record!

No. 387115

i think that shay is pretty cute

No. 387121

nta but in a way i get it, social views of stuff like gender and race can fuck kids up and turn them into real nasty adults. i've sometimes thought about how i would protect my kid from internalizing all of society's fucked up messages if i was a mother, and concluded it'd be very difficult to protect them from it without just isolating them completely. but then you've got a whole different issue on your hands.

No. 387134

I swear someone says this every week.

No. 387137

whenever I'm mad at my boyfriend masturbate while thinking about his best friend

No. 387142

Wow we are very similar anon, thanks for the post, I feel the same way.

No. 387143

I do something similar except I actually have sex with his best friend

No. 387148

No. 387158

I can't help but feel anger at westerners especially with all the news happening today.

No. 387160

>Muh westerners meme
>Pretending easterners are not doing the same shit if not worse
What exactly about TEH WESTERNERS you hate anon

No. 387177

You sound like you were neglected. Obviously seeking some form of validation. Like you’re acting out the stuff your inner child wishes that adults could have done for you. Or something.
Are you shayna? How is entertaining gross assholes for hours on end less exhausting than taking car hop orders. Stop having self-defeating thinking. You can get a vanilla job if you truly want to, but I bet you won’t because you think you’re too good for minimum wage.
Don’t get mad at westerners. Get mad at men.

No. 387190

Men acting like hyper violent apes happens globally, anon. Crazy how the insanely high violence/murder rates men commit are pretty universal regardless of race/religion

No. 387293

I get irritated, but also smug when people try to insist my hair that I grew out of my scalp isn't "really mine" (because it's too long and thick for someone my race to have, from what I've been told?). I never even talk about my own hair, but it still gets brought up by other people somehow. I don't mind if they just ask if my hair is real, compliment me and then drop it, but when they start trying to argue with me about my own genetics, it becomes annoying.
At the same time, it's almost flattering that I can piss off random people (mostly racists and people upset they can't grow their own hair) into complete and total cope-mode just by existing. It's like a double-edged ego boost.

No. 387303

I know most users on here are from 'murica or not poor fag countries but can you please not assume anyone posting on here is American or from a country where you can actually survive working a minimum wage job? You don't even know my circumstance yet you assumed I declined the opportunity to work a minimum wage job and be able to support myself working that job for camwhoring. I worked minimum wage jobs before and I could definitely not afford living on 300 euros per month, I used to live in a shared apartment and I would pay 160 for my rent and utilities but I could just not get by with the remaining money for the rest of the month, I would end up shoplifting because I didn't have money for food. I tried working in call centers a couple of times for a better pay, around 450 euros but I got fired from 3 call center jobs because I was just not fit for that sort of job for some reason. I could save up some money and try to move to a country with a better economy but I'm just scared and I feel stuck and worthless.
This is the drama I'm talking about, a lot of women from troubled backgrounds or a lot of women from less developed countries end up doing this kind of work and it destroys them. I'm not talking about American young and attention obsessed sluts like Shayna that think sex work is the next best thing after the discovery of fire.

No. 387315

>tfw u want that but his best friend's way too nice

No. 387323

That's what terrorists on either side want so you're falling for their bait.

No. 387327

Tell them to fuck off, the reason why your hair look some way or another isn't their business and will never be. Some people have no manners, it's like they were raised in a barn.

No. 387358

I started seeing a man after years of exclusively dating women and I'm incredibly underconfident about my sexual performance. I try to make up for it with effort but I can't help but feel I'm still very below-average. I've mentioned to him that it worries me and he's assured me that it's okay, but I'm sure he's just trying to protect my ego.

No. 387361

File: 1552756891885.jpg (69.06 KB, 780x457, death is waiting.jpg)

A few years ago a girl in my neighborhood suddenly died in her early 20's of a heart attack. she used to be such a mean cunt to me along with some other girls. sometimes when i think about her sudden death, i can't help but smile and be happy about it. i usually hope that any person that is or has bullied me or treated me horrible for no reason dies. Lately I've been fantasizing about the day my dad finally dies.
I know it's not normal or healthy.

No. 387363

I'm pretty sure it's normal to a degree to want some sort of justice.

No. 387369

My jaded ass was presumptuous, I apologize euroanon. I truly wish your situation improve xx

No. 387372

I'm really bored of my relationship. I practically have to beg her for affection. She only talks about games and one anime. I don't even know if I love her anymore. Whenever I bring up a problem that I have with us she'll reassure me in like two words but not say anything further, either that or she gets depressed.

I kind of feel like an asshole because while she's very basic she still somewhat tries to entertain me, but I don't think I care anymore, everything in this relationship is so boring.

No. 387384

Don't feel bad… some people view staying in a relationship when you're not interested 5eva in as the worse thing to do.
You shouldn't have to continue your relationship if you feel it's draining you of your energy. If you'd be happier spending your time alone, then that's you queue to leave. She sounds like she's not a good fit for you anyway.

No. 387446

File: 1552770446112.png (203.25 KB, 322x284, squeezysnake.png)

I've had this on my mind for a while now, but I haven't really told my friends about it because then they'd just question my drive and what exactly I am going for nowadays.

I have been wanting to enlist in the Army for a while now, but after a discussion with my dad who is a Marines veteran and my grandpa who is a Vietnam veteran, I am really starting to question if it is really worth it.

I want to go in as an engineer, and I know military doesn't exactly equal marching around and holding a gun just to get shot in the face. I scored really high on my ASVAB, and combined with my friend thinking women can't really thrive in the military (he thinks it's because of "sexual conflicts"), but also because I am constantly now thinking about if I really want to serve America.

I know what I'm thinking is likely retarded, but it's been on my mind so often that it actually distracts me while I am occupied. It's shit.

No. 387448

>really want to serve America

The US has been doing nothing but starting wars in the Middle East for profit anon, why don’t you serve your country by using your big STEM noggin to actually doing something beneficial that doesn’t result in the killing of innocent civilians

No. 387461

so i don’t really talk about this a lot amongst friends because it’s known that i’m fairly close with my mom, and no one in my family would believe, but when i was around 4-10, my mother was very abusive towards me. my sister is about 12 years older than me, so by the time i was old enough to realize i was being abused, my sister was out of the house and i was alone. i have very vivid memories of my mother lashing out if i did something she percieved as wrong, almost breaking down several of my bedroom doors throughout my childhood, and plenty of intimidation tactics were prevelant throughout most of my memories. i have spoken about some things with my mother, but she always accuses me of fabricating the memories or “making her the bad guy, and yes she’s obviously the worst mother ever.” i have extreme trauma as a result of my childhood and an official diagnosis of bpd /because/ of the abuse, but none of it matters because my mom “did everything she could for me” and i won’t deny that she did the best a single mom could do, but i was still abused. i still have cptsd because of the events, i still flinch if she moves too fast or raises her voice too loudly. she raised me in a way (and she actually admits this) so i would grow to be dependent on her, i.e she does a lot for me and i don’t really know how to do much for myself because the skills weren’t introduced to me as a kid, so i’m very behind my peers. i’m struggling to get better and get over my past, but i still live with her and many things still easily set her off. the intimidation tactics are still there, the yelling and walking on egg shells if she’s in a bad mood are still there, it’s like nothing has changed from my childhood. i don’t know what to do or how to move on with my life, because if i try to gain closure from it by talking with her, the guilting comes back and i’m just “blaming her for all my problems.” she compares the abuse she did to me to the abuse her father did to her, and how she forgave him and the good outweighed the bad. she always omits the part where she didn’t speak to him for over a decade and never had anything nice to say about him my entire childhood. i’m on mobile soi can’t really read through all i’ve written, but i hope it’s not too jumbled.

tldr; i love my mother although she abused me, and i’m trying to forgive her but she’s very similar to the mother that physically and verbally abused me most of my life and i’m not sure how to let go.

No. 387473

File: 1552773870270.png (170.78 KB, 903x1200, 33d164f9-e824-48fa-b50a-2721a4…)

Please for the love of god listen to >>387448.

You want to die or participate in a pointless war just so the elites can laugh and buy another house on an island somewhere?

Please do anything else other than fight for any country, unless your immediate life is in danger in your actual home country (ie you are being literally invaded). To fight for and line the pockets of the psychopaths at the top in a fake war would be such a waste of your life.
Make a real effort to impact the relationships and community around you.

No. 387512

As a kid I used to sneak into relatives’ rooms and fart in there if I was mad at them then be incredibly smug knowing I tainted their airspace.

No. 387513

File: 1552782849214.jpeg (75.24 KB, 416x416, tumblr_n93sn5ABJS1somw7ho3_128…)

I like the baby shark song and listen to it between albums. I usually mostly listen to indie/punk. I'm 23.

[For context I heard it at my baby cousin's]

No. 387523

File: 1552787024175.gif (391.01 KB, 500x284, pika.gif)

Sometimes when I'm listening to music, or rather out of the blue at all, I'll think about my stepdad eventually dying and I start to have a crying fit. I love him so much, I can't picture this gay earth without him in it.

No. 387532

File: 1552789383491.gif (65.1 KB, 250x231, tumblr_oorh2eThw21w4ahlno4_250…)

lmao, me too anon

i listen to it with my younger sister so that it seems like i'm forced to listen to it because of her, but secretly i love it

No. 387546

the us military is a fucking scam to cull poor people. join americorps if you want to ~serve america so badly.

No. 387549

Weird, I'm the opposite.
Sometimes I feel kind of relief when I think about by my parents dying.

No. 387566

My mom is a cunt and can die anytime and it would be a huge relief. I just have a weak spot for certain family members who are truly wholesome. I feel you anon.

No. 387578

File: 1552803055320.png (216.5 KB, 496x360, raw.png)

Sometimes i wish to travel back in time (maybe 1996 or 2005) and release any popular song from later years so I profit first on someone's idea.

No. 387592

Boyfriend fucker here
I had 2 one-pump-chumps in one night
Only one had a girlfriend and called her on the way home and made up some BS about work, the other had a daughter but idk if he was in a relationship, he seemed to really obsess over me and talk about how he was going to take care of me

Anyway, first one, I bring him to my fuck-spot barely even suck his dick and fuck him for a minute, he jizzes this entire load in my mouth and I swallow, tasted bad man

Second one, I tease him then he barely puts his dick halfway into me and cums all over my car, I tell him to fuck me anyway and he cums within seconds again

I can't believe this how do these males even have girlfriends if they can't last for more than a minute, male biology is pathetic

No. 387602

Anon, you need therapy. Why do you keep specifically going for taken men. Like, they’re shitheads for fucking you but you’re utter shithead too for enabling their behaviours, you’re also going to get hurt eventually even if you don’t care about the moral aspects

No. 387603

I have a playlist of songs I would do this to.

No. 387618

Why bother responding to her? Eventually she'll get the hint and fuck off.

No. 387642

File: 1552817573282.png (691.24 KB, 720x960, 1531432444512.png)

i unironically love listening to basic ass edm and monstercat even though i never leave the house, let alone go to raves and shit. it's just ear candy i guess

No. 387647

Anon are you me? We have incredibly similar situations.

No. 387682

Lol this reads so “I am very badass” to me.

No. 387924

>fast food wage slave
>obvious ana-chan pulls up every morning buying nothing but a massive thing of diet coke
>been secretly filling that bitch up half way with reg coke ez ice

No. 387938

Anon, for all you knew she could be diabetic. You’re a fuckwad for dicking around with people’s orders, just do your shitty job correctly

No. 387942


I teach elementary kids and I bounce between doing the Baby Shark dance and dabbing at my kids and it's the best thing because they'll do it back without hesitation and think I'm cool.

No. 387943

That is really messed up anon. If she ever notices, she will likely become even more paranoid about eating certain thing.

No. 387965

I sold pretty niche photos/videos for a couple of months when I needed money to move ASAP. It was mostly feet and hand stuff, either standing somewhere specific (like in grass) or holding certain objects, with nails a certain way etc. I'm really not into feet stuff or anything so it was easier to disconnect from, even though it felt kind of gross knowing what the photos were for I didn't mind too much since it didn't feel like I was showing anything personal since I'm not a very sexual person in general. I'm not proud of it but I'm not ashamed either, it's whatever, I've told a couple of friends and we just laugh about it. There were no identifying features in it so I've been able to just cut that part of my life off once I had the money to move. Honestly the hardest part was when a man asked for a video of me squeezing a balloon until it popped, I hate sudden loud noises. Overall I definitely wouldn't do it again unless I was desperate, but I'm glad I have an emergency plan that isn't something I'm super uncomfortable with

No. 387973

How do you get into this? I feel like this is genuinely the only route of cam whoring that wouldn’t mentally beat you down because, well, they’re feet. Most of the stuff asked for seems pretty harmless and really easy to disconnect from - plus, you don’t have to do it live and still make bank. Are foot fetish guys willing to pay a lot for the most mundane things??

No. 387982

I always wanted to do that, but didn't know where to start. Tell me more anon.

No. 387990

That's really cute anon, kinda wholesome

No. 388048

I follow a girl who I was good friends with, but after a fallout she basically bullied me and trashed my name in the small town we lived in (I have since moved), even going so far as to posting about me on her tumblr and her instagram accounts that all had me blocked so I only knew what she was saying from third parties. About a year ago, two years after all of her horrible acts happened, we “made peace”, but I really just try to stay on her good side so I can follow her very public account where she posts about all of her problems and really just makes a spectacle of herself. She makes me feel so much better about myself considering we have very similar pasts/traumas, but I’ve been trying to better myself while she’s been steadily getting worse. She’s absolutely delusional and believes she’s a better person than she was, and doesn’t even admit to the countless years she spent telling anyone she didn’t like to kill themselves. I’m close with someone who was also bullied by her, and we talk shit about her and make fun of her regularly, and the screenshots I have of her account are plentiful. If she had more followers, there would easily by a thread on her, and I have so much dirt on her.

No. 388096

I stalk my bf's exes from time to time on social media. I've been with him for 2 years, which is longer than both of his relationships with him. In my head I know that they're not that attractive and one of them is visibly overweight. Of course that's bitchy of me to say but I do compare myself to them despite being better looking. I don't know why I do it–probably because I'm jealous that I didn't get to him first.

He lost his PIV virginity to his first gf and then had sex with another girl at our college (who didn't turn out to be a gf). He did oral with his second gf but nothing further. I did oral with some other dude that I thought would last as a bf (ugly, was a mistake) but my bf was my first PIV sex. Now I don't want to fuck anyone else and I want to settle down with him after college. But it makes me sad from time to time thinking of his past despite being in a relationship of two years with him. It's not like I can't get other guys but rather that I feel like not having 'numbers' as a result of previous sexual relationships means that I'm less desirable than him.

I feel inadequate and pathetic. It doesn't matter that I'm better-looking or more high achieving than any of those girls; at the end of the day I'm insecure enough to compare myself to them so superficially.

No. 388532

I want to get fucked by a large dog :( I'm a nasty bitch and want to die because of it

No. 388942

I dont know if this will help but ive been in a semi similar situation as you. My current bf of 3 years had had 10! Gfs before me and Ive only had basically 2. It hurt me and the one I know he was in love with hurt me even more. I'd semi stalk her for about a year and a half but I started thinking that hes still with me and I look waay better than her and am a lot younger than her so I have nothing to worry about. Especially if you know they dont think about their past gfs or anything then you know that they've made mistakes and are happy to have you and have improved with dating you instead. People make mistakes, I know I have even with the past 2 fuck bois I mistakenly dated. So I get that hes made mistakes with dating too.

No. 388943

Honestly lowkey I liked the idea of this because I liked the idea of not having to worry about getting pregnant but now, 2 years later, I have a IUD and I dont fantasize about that…

No. 388945

Slightly related but I like watching videos of guys getting nasty with animals.I have no desires to act upon such things myself but I kind of fucking hate that I get off to that.

No. 388953

>am a lot younger than her
Wish women would stop using youth as a trump card. You'll get older too, what if he dumps you for someone younger? You'll be eating your words then.

No. 388956

White girls fuck dogs, degenerates.

No. 388958

You mean like those zoosadists? They should all go to jail.

WTF anons.

No. 388959

What if in a twist of events, that anon is Shoe?

No. 388961

This. I've seen a lot of times guys dumping their already quite younger gfs for even younger ones.

There's no point in talking about it as lots of girls and women will continue to think like that but it's an ugly way of thinking and overall just petty AND it doesn't guarantee that you won't be replaced by a newer and younger woman when you expire, so to speak. In fact, imo it's a red flag when the guy seems to have preference for women under 25 despite already being in his 30s or older.

I thought the same when I was 18 and I think the same now at the age of 26. I detest guys that are way out of my age range hitting on me, irl or on dating apps. It's just yuck.

No. 388966

Of all things to turn into a race issue, you’re gonna just pretend there aren’t copious amounts of black/Asian furries lmao

No. 388967

>This. I've seen a lot of times guys dumping their already quite younger gfs for even younger ones.
Yep. Had a guy ghost and dump me for a 17-year old when I was 22. The creepy thing is that he was 29 himself. Glad I didn't even like him that much so it was more like "Wew, dodged that bullet" than actual disappointment.

No. 388971


Thanks god I'm a boring vanilla and can get off to missionary.

No. 388974

It's a well known meme, and 80% of furries are white based off of convention data.

No. 389032

God no. I fucking hated that whole thing. I think I get off to that stuff I mentioned though because it’s degrading for the men depicted.

No. 389047

today i was walking home from uni and i saw a muslim girl in a wheelchair. my mind immediately went "GIRL PICK A STRUGGLE"

No. 389053

>it’s degrading for the men depicted.
We all know that's not why they fucking animals, anon. Really funny that you claim to hate zoosadists but get off to the same type of shit.

No. 389093

Is the original dog-fucking anon wanting to sexually abuse dogs then and no different than a pedo who wants to abuse kids?

No. 389101

Same. Good ol vanilla sex gets me going.

No. 389106

>God no. I fucking hated that whole thing.
>but I do like watching men rape innocent animals
what the fuck, anon? seriously? how can you sit here and pretend the reason why is because "it's degrading for the men", while you're defending you getting turned on by them doing what men fucking always do – rape innocent beings???? take the faux manhate shit somewhere else if your idea of totally subversive 'male degradation' is actually literally par for the course for males and is actually some retarded backdoor rationalization of men being creepy rapists. stop watching this shit, you creep.

No. 389119

I got all these embarrassing shitty 18+ doujins when I was a teen that I can't get rid of. Nobody on ebay is snapping them up too. Hate this shit.

No. 389122

Decrease the price more and more until it isn't worth it anymore and recycle the stuff. I bought a few doujins myself as a teen but never got that into it as I can't actually read them.

No. 389123

Might just have to resort to that. I was hoping because they were rare and not floating around the internet that I could get rid of them more easily and get at least some money back but doesn't look like that's the case considering they've been up for auction for months at this point.

No. 389125

why can't you read them?

No. 389129

Doujins hardly ever become super expensive, a lot aren't online just because not that many copies were printed to begin with. The series they are based on might have died in popularity too if you got the stuff years ago. Personally I find selling books to be a big pain in the ass in general because the shipping cost is high but the actual books aren't worth that much.
Don't know enough Japanese, too undisciplined to learn

No. 389176

I feel like the only thing that would make me happy in life is getting plastic surgery. I have dealt with being an uggo the moment I hit puberty. Even though I had and still have no self esteem at all, I used to be one of those people who preach about accepting who you are and dealing with the cards that you are dealt with. I was convinced things were going to get better and I would eventually have a glow up and be at peace with myself. That kept me optimistic for a while, but now I released it's never going to happen unless I make it happen. Anybody who is happy being fat or ugly is a fucking liar and it's human to want to change something about yourself if you can.

No. 389288

i have a really hard time being around people with tourettes and non-high functioning autism. i went to the gym today and a group of people with disabilities were also present. i just felt really off when they were there, like more anxious than usual. it sucks because they aren't actively bothering me, it's just some of the things they do, like their ticks and repetitiveness that makes me feel unsettled. i can definitely hang around children, but i think once they get to that adult age, i can't explain why but it makes me uncomfortable i guess.

No. 389328

I keep finding myself daydreaming about being a cliche dangerous woman who steps out on her boyfriend in beautiful clothes and has crazy public affairs with everyone from strangers to friends whilst promising him nothing is happening. It's not even a sex thing because my fantasies usually fade to black before they get too steamy, but I'm obsessed with the scenario.
I have no idea where this fixation has come from because I'm totally against cheating, I love my partner and feel awful at the idea of even imagining hurting him and I can't lie or keep secrets to save my life. In reality I can't even be bothered to shave my legs for him let alone look alluring for anyone else and would hate to be known as easy.

I've probably listened to too much Lana Del Rey, or seen too many pretty egirls on instagram living the good life. This is such an embarrassing fantasy.

No. 389349

It's been over three years since I tried to commit suicide, and I still wish I had been successful.

No. 389356

how did you try to commit suicide, anon?

No. 389359

>I'm a nasty bitch
All stays in the family then.

No. 389628

I want to date an older man not only because I'm into that, but also to spite my parents, particularly my father.
I know this is the definition of daddy issues, but he never had time for me, had extremely high expections (e.g. school-wise), is a control freak, treats my sister like a literal princess who can do no wrong, yet still demands physical affection like a "good morning"-hug + kiss from me. I always have to be nice to him, constantly smiling, otherwise I get "you're ungrateful, you don't even love me anymore, there's nothing uglier than girls who make sour expressions like you, blah blah".
Maybe if I had an older bf, he would finally realize that he did something wrong and would also be too disgusted to still want to cuddle me like a little child lol (which I've always hated, even as a kid).
But getting one is harder than it seems…

No. 389662

Why don't you get a mid-life crisis dude on tinder and invite him to have dinner with your family or post photos of you together in social media where your father will be able to see it?

No. 389816

I was abused by fat girls so in order to get back at them, everytime I meet a fairly attractive man with a fat girlfriend or wife, I end up fucking them if not at least sexting or messing around them, I found it's super easy especially since I'm skinny but with curves and a cute face and so many males are dying to get their hands on a woman who feels like a woman and not like jabba the hutt, and they end up going nuts because they're so used to smelly fat girl pussy that when they get fresh clean pussy they're in awe, I'm like a goddess to them

I always makes sure it ends messy to, as in either convincing the boyfriend to leave her, leaving marks on him so the girlfriend finds out, or just straight up keeping him for as long as possible so she gets suspicious. It's fine to smile in their fat greasy face knowing their man is worshipping me on the side while talking shit about their fat asses.

So far it's been 12 relationships and I want to ruin even more

No. 389817

This has to be bait.

No. 389820

I myself have a bug up my ass when it comes to fat chicks due to being viciously bullied by them, but you are a trashy piece of shit if this isn't bait.

No. 389822

I know, I'm kinda proud of it, but I didn't exactly expect lolcow to cheer me on, this is a confession thread after all

No. 389823

I'm not sure if this has inspired me to try harder to shed those extra 20 lbs or stop dating men.
Please come and personally murder me anon, I'm too much of a coward to kys myself.

No. 389838

I…..Did anyone else gasp at this? Anon says it's true but I am in utter disbelief…

No. 389847

TBH that'll just give him what he wants, an excuse to say you're immature and need his control. He'd love it. Just work towards moving out rather than let him screw your life up further. That's what he'll hate.

No. 389870

ive been stuck in this insane binging episode for about two weeks now and im gaining weight fast

its ridiculous cause keeping a healthy diet is simple. id do good for the whole day, then down 3-5000 calories within a couple of hours. i get stressed about it and that just fuels it even further

i did a great job today, it always starts off good, lots of veggies and stuff… but my partner ordered a large pizza and 16p wings. I told her beforehand that she wasnt going to finish all of that (shes a pretty vocal vegetarian, so she didnt want to put away leftovers for her roommates to see) but got it anyway cause she had a bad day and had a craving

She wasnt even hungry. or maybe i forgot how much a normal human can tolerate eating. She finished maybe half of the wings before giving up and i HATE wasting food, so i just took the opportunity to be an absolute glutton.

Ate the entire large, loaded pepperoni pizza and the rest of the wings. about 4,500 cals worth of food. My stomach is in absolute pain and the shame is unbearable

im actually thinking about walking to the bookstore about 8 miles off for the next few days since i dont have anything planned till tuesday. leave my card and everything save for a bottle of water and a sports drink just to make sure that i cant fuck up

god i just feel so ashamed. it sucks feeling like a terrifying kirby-esque monstrosity in front of my partner like that

No. 389872

This is gonna be super light compared to some recent anon's confessions but I think I have a crush on my best friend. We've been friends since middle school and it wasn't until we were both drunk one night that we were texting and doing that sappy best friend shit and I was like wait do I like her and the feeling just never went away, its honestly just kinda gotten stronger.

We like to shit talk men together sometimes and it turns me on if I'm being totally honest. But we live on opposite coasts now and I wouldn't wanna ruin anything and considering I have a bad record of falling for my best friends, I've slowly figured out its never worth it. Plus even if there was a chance, long distance is a hard no for me. But I love entertaining the idea, although it'll never happen although sometimes I wonder if she's curious about the same things. Its probably just wishful thinking on my end but a girl can dream…

No. 389873

i’m confused. is your gf a vegetarian or not? you said she is but she ordered pepperoni pizza and wings..? so either she’s a vegetarian or she eats meat. you can’t habe it both ways, and both of you need to fix your bad relationship with food if you hope to make any meaningful progress.

No. 389874

ive been the same for the past week anon, ive gain 2kg back but today has been going good so far. when it comes to food/money waste something i try to remember is that the money has already been spent so you wont get it back from trying eat more than you can, so just eat your limit and leave the rest. you can do it anon i know you can

No. 389877

shes a vegetarian and has been for years, she just had a craving for meat today.

im aware that i need to fix my relationship with food, but thanks anyhow

ah youre right, it does feel like im trying to keep my moneys worth when i eat, too, but its not realistic.

i started freezing stuff in portions to help remedy that concern so i wouldnt have to worry about throwing money away on perishables. So now theres at least healthier stuff to prepare instead of junk that i wont have to worry about wasting for a while

and thanks anon! i can do it, just have to get it together

No. 389911

I like fictional villains who've done some pretty abhorrent things. Including ones who the fandom despised. even though I found their physical appearances attractive I often questioned why I was attracted to them, and I think I've come to the base conclusion that it's the power struggle. I'd never date someone of their abusive caliber or craziness in real life, by any means, but the simulation of having an authority figure toy with you is kind of a fantasy.

I obviously acknowledge most of their actions are wrong, especially in the case where it's clearly a character whos abusing his authority, that doesn't mean I dislike the idea of a power struggle fantasy. Plus, they're not real. Female fandom members who are super moralistic and go balking at fellow female fandom members who like villains really piss me off. Not all of us like good boi heroes, nor should we have to. And it's not like finding a villain interesting or attractive means that I'm immediately condoning his actions in the story either.

There was a time when I really used to beat the crap out of myself mentally for liking villains. Now I'm adamantly less ashamed of it. It took me a long time to get there because I was heavily moralistic myself and often relying on other people's opinions to feed my worth as a fan of a particular series. Then I realized. It's fiction. Who cares?

No. 389929

>It's fiction. Who cares?
it's not even that it's fiction. why should your erotic sensibility have to line up with your fucking ethical sensiblity? that's ridiculous

No. 389930

Go you, anon! I don't understand moralfags in fandoms who think everyone must hate a villainous fictional character or else they need to be publicly shunned. Like, stories are allowed to have characters that aren't pure. Stories would be so boring if only good things happened. I always side eye people who make public "opinions" about Berserk fans who are attracted to Griffith. Like he's designed really beautiful, we are also fully aware he's a villain. It's not that deep, he's beautiful and attractive AND a fictional character, that's it.

No. 389935

God I remember when fandoms weren't all about the oppression olympics and moralfaggotry. Bring those times back.

No. 389936

I thought that enjoying watching some fun villain character in a story without agreeing with their actions was a non-issue which just about everyone did.

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