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No. 472178
>>472170my neet recommendation for Us anons: AmeriCorps
paid volunteering.
It's tough work but they will hire pretty much anyone, they have job postings all over the us you do pretty much only from their shitty website and over the phone interviews, it's also incredibly hard to get fired unless you like violate a human right. (I had several embarrassing neet transition panic attacks at work. was I annoying? yes? could they get rid of me? no.)
I'd never had a job before but had gone to school for a year and I felt so prepared to find work after even with no degree.
I sound like a government shill but it saved my life. Most programs are for 18-25 but they have plenty of positions for older women. It's work experience that pretty much looks as good as PeaceCorps on your resume. Sometimes they will give you extra money to move. Not great pay but you get like almost 200$ in food stamps and health insurance. (oh also you get about 5000 a year to put towards education. ultimately you are netting about 10 bucks an hour but if you have 0 work experience it's worth it. Vista positions are the tits and you get paid more but I haven't done it yet. Probably will next time I'm in a bind.
No. 472242
File: 1570999402516.jpg (70.98 KB, 611x627, 4d62157e9822afa7818096bae04262…)
http://www.krisis.org/1999/manifesto-against-labour/Don't let yourselves ever be shamed for not being part of the machine.
Strive to change the system to be beneficial to more people, do not strive to change yourself to fit a corrupt decaying system.
I know this is a long read and too scholarly for some, but it's a much needed alternative perspective on the issues that face all of us, and it's well worth the read.
No. 472251
>>472247Did you actually read anything by KM or FE before memeing them?
>>472246Did you actually read through the link before posting that sarcastic line?
Rhetorical questions of course.
No. 472269
I hope it's ok to post here because I'm not actually a neet, only living similarly to one.
I go to uni but don't have any friends, not even acquaintances. My few friends from high school left a long time ago. I do have a part time job (once per week), but work my shift alone and keep the conversation with costumers at absolute minimum. I don't have any motivation to do anything, my personal hygiene is horrible, I brush my teeth only once per day, have trouble showering daily, rarely wash my hair, wear the same stuff for weeks, eat like shit and only sleep for 4 maybe 5 hours on average. I already studied for way too long because I'm too anxious to go to classes. I only have my family to talk to, if it wasn't for them I'd definitely be a neet, even fatter and would just lay in bed while on the internet 24/7.
It feels like I'm only alive but not truly living. I already wasted so many years being like this and it's only gotten worse. I felt suicidal 5 years ago but not anymore. Now I just try to not be an even bigger embarrassment, disappointment and reason to worry for my parents but I'm failing miserably. I'm already 24 and can't even look at guys, how am I ever supposed to turn into somebody who's somewhat normal when others my age are already working, building houses and getting married? I'm lagging so much behind.
No. 472280
>>472269Sweet anon it's okay to feel like this. In an age where everyone is showing off on social media how awesome their lives are and how successful they are, it's totally normal to compare yourself and feel like you're not doing as good as others.
We are all going at our own pace, and that's okay. I am 28 and have only just managed to find a boyfriend after years of desperately wanting love, but all of my high school friends got married and moved out years ago. I still live with my parents. I focus on things that make me happy, like my dog. My sisters. Drawing. Like the other anon said, it's not a race.
Don't give up anon, life gets better. Do you have any hobbies you can throw yourself into? Anything you've always wanted to try?
No. 472301
>>472269>already working, building houses and getting married? You're only 24 and you aren't a NEET at all, you actually work and many people are still studying at that age and very few are building houses or getting married. Those are long term goals, don't get ahead of yourself and waste time worrying about them. I mean, you don't even need them at all, I sure af don't wanna get married.
Work on your hygiene and daily routine first. There are lots of subreddits that help with forming good habits (/r/selfimprovement, /r/productivity etc) and I see a lot of posts from people with similar issues that resolve them with to do lists and tracking systems and such.
No. 472308
>>472195you can get better all of us here were just like you,I started my job when I was 26 and I don't regret it
I know it can seem difficult but a job really is better then going to school in terms of learning normie socialization
(namefagging) No. 472315
Not technically a neet because i do some remote work online, is not even regular, i might work for a month and not work for the next one but i do pay the bills with what little i make. Its just enough to survive in squalor ion my third world dump.
I lost all hope, i am very much a hikikomori, i had two jobs and hated them so much, i never want to go back to an office again, i even hate the work i already do, i hate dealing with people, i have not had a friend in like 5 years, those i did have were few and shitty and i was always the odd excluded one from the groups, i ended either being ghosted or ghosting people. 5 years ago was about the time i ended school which i also hated, i was bullied in highschool and didn't got along with anyone in uni. I have not even had a single conversation in the flesh with anyone for years. I browse ib regularly and listen to a lot of audiobooks and TTC classes to keep my sanity but i know theres nothing i am living for, i am going nowhere, i have no ambitions anymore, i dropped all my dreams and aspirations, even if i had them still at my age is already over, once my father dies i am ending my life most likely, i haven´t already because i worry about him and i pay for everything here in the shithole i live in. Everyone who abused me and bullied me is super successful now and living their dreams traveling the world, i don't even have social media because i am the butt of all jokes and have no one to talk to, i am still very much a poorfag autist looser that i was in HS, even when i tried and tried and sacrificed all my youth to try to escape , i cannot really run away from fate, i can't even afford therapy, i needed it since i was very young but i grew up a neglected poorfag from a one parent home with no friends and family to care for me so i never even had a chance but being the mockery of every context i was a part of.
No. 472329
File: 1571016037346.jpg (49.7 KB, 334x450, 12386-004-239209FD.jpg)
>>472327I guess thats true. I have been miserable for a long time but i did have a lot more motivation and a willingness to believe things can change and my efforts can have purpose and meaning when i was younger, even when my reality was bleak. Thats a good life relative to just knowing theres nothing but the future void and bad memories from the past.
No. 472339
>>472329I talked with my dad yesterday about all my insecurities and the "what If's" I should have taken in life
he then opened up to me and told me about how when my mother was pregnant with my older sister he was in special forces training at that time and he was half way though when he got a call of how my mother's physical and mental was deteriorating and regrettably he dropped out of SF training course to be with his pregnant wife and he was labelled as a coward and quitter by his other friends,he told me that for a long he had always wondered about "what If" he stayed and how much cred it would have given in but after a while he realized that the was the decision he made and he can't change that but he can always change what direction his life is headed as long he was still alive and that I can too
I don't wanna give up
No. 472347
>>472345Special forces training sounds a lot more appealing than looking after a pregnant lady who is experiencing incredible discomfort and hormonal mood swings. And a newborn baby???? At least in special forces your dad would get more than 3 hours sleep a night. He's brave and did the right thing and all the others calling him a sissy were probs just acting out of
toxic masculinity. Your dad sounds great and I hope you tell him that!
No. 472387
>>472372Hey anon, at least you had a dad that actually wanted to be involved in his family and child's lives to the point of scarifying his career prospects/opening himself up to ridicule, he's one of the
very few and you have a great asset in your possession! As
>>472361 and
>>472379 said, it is all in the past now and now you are your own person, take away the good things your dad/family taught you and use them to come into your own being. So what if you were babied and, let's say, had a longer childhood than most, if he did do everything for you as you said, you should have a very good template in life what to do or, at the very least, someone you can ask for guidance when encountering new obstacles!
No. 472393
>>472387I do love him but I feel I just don't deserve all he does for me,Like he deserves a daughter a parent can be proud of not a loser like me
I want him to be proud of an actual accomplishment not a pity "you did your best and that's all that matters" I want him to truly be proud of me
No. 472395
>>472393While he sounds like a decent enough person not to resent you for your "success" in life, use that feeling of wanting to do him proud as a fuel to better yourself and your life! It is better to fail trying than not try at all, and if you preserve and keep trying, one of those times it (whatever that may be) will work out! I know failure is very discouraging but you can't entirely avoid it, what you can avoid however is sulking and dropping your efforts when it does. And your dad will get the bragging rights!
Blogposting just a bit so I don't seem like a positive ig quote account kek, but like I used to be a straight A student in school but now am struggling to keep up at uni, to the point of prolonging my degree by 2 years, as I never developed any proper learning skills (which goes really badly with my high expectations of being good straight out the gate kek), but I know I'm just developing those skills later than others and yes, it may suck now, but it will be worth it in the end once I graduate with a decent honours and my mom will be able to rub it in all of her friends faces lol.
No. 472397
>>472395what really can I accomplish,I'm a ex-NEET who works full time at a sporting goods store and still live with my parents
My life is much better and happier then it was a year ago(when I was a NEET) but I'm still kinda of a loser
No. 472403
>>472301Maybe I voiced it weirdly but getting married etc isn't even my personal goal, others doing these things just highlights how far behind I am and it also makes me lose hope that I will ever lead a normal life.
How could I find friends when I lack any social skills? I'm completely stunted in this regard meanwhile everybody else already has their set group of friends for years. And how could I find a partner when my idea of a relationship is that of a 16-year-old? Normal people at this age already think about marriage (or just want to fuck around) so how will I ever be able to find somebody who's sweet enough to take things this slow with a mid 20s woman? If I were to tell a guy that I haven't even kissed anybody and am scared of intimacy he'd rightfully be weirded out (or think I was abused).
No. 472404
>>472397Hey, baby steps, anon! It is already really good that you've improved your life so much in comparison to a year ago, I'm sure your dad is happy you're out of the worst slumps and onto a normie track now! Also I'm not sure how old you are but honestly there's no shame living with your parents if you must, plus you save money! Once you feel adjusted and stable in your current situation, maybe try thinking about what you want to do long-term (not that there's anything wrong if retail is your end goal you know, can always have shit going on on the side!), what steps you could take towards it education or otherwise. Working full-time can be really constricting depending on your shifts, but you can save money for whatever it is you want to pursue eventually and then possibly reduce your hours if you feel like you can't pile stuff on top of working full-time.
Or maybe try exploring new hobbies if you are at a loss for what you're into! You said you're into early 2000s nostalgia, any ideas how to build off of that maybe? Art/music/clothing you could develop or something? If you want to gain more confidence socialising first, maybe try looking around for volunteering opportunities, that's a good way to find other kinda-younger people when not in education with 0 commitment of seeing them ever again in case you feel like you flopped severely kek.
No. 472411
>>472403with regards to social skills you gotta start slow,I was so nervous when I first started working so I was pretty much a loner but by chance I started small conversations with some of co-workers who were all near my age range about MCU films and other normie stuff I knew about over time you start building up small social skills and developing the ability to talk to people
with regards to Dating and relationships I'm just as clueless about that as you are
No. 472513
>>472484No need to go in depth about your living situation until you get kinda serious, at which point if the guy finds that a deal breaker, bullet dodged and no big loss. For dates and such, you can do activities outside or go over to his.
And invest in a tripod! Maybe check out Ashley bestdressed on either yt or ig, near all her photos are tripod based and you can see what tricks she uses! (not her or an ad, just thought it was cool when I realised that lol)
No. 472604
>>472538Exactly, just try! Finding out it isn't for you >>>>>>>>>>>>>> not even giving it a fair shot and writing yourself off anyway.
Checked just to make sure I wasn't being misleading but she literally has a video titled "how I take instagram pics by myself", frankly was quite eye opening haha, thought all the ig girls employ their friends/boyfriends for picture taking.
>>472585Social media does make it worse doesn't it? Irl I pass for a normie quite well but when going on fb I literally feel like a lizard person in a very ill-fitting flesh suit, how do people just up and update their fb with the most inane shit for all the people from elementary school onwards to see is beyond me kek. Since you're a TA, maybe there are younger teachers or other TAs you can strike a convo with? Just some bland colleague stuff about how weather is getting colder and work sucks etc? Maybe watch a recent movie, like Joker and ask if they've seen it and what did they think? People love being asked about their thoughts and onions!
No. 472673
>>472604Thank you anon :) I wish there were more people my age here, though they'd probably think I was a loser too. I'm the youngest in the department by 25 years and the lowest ranking, so my colleagues don't really have time for me unless they're asking me to do something for them. I tried bonding with a sympathetic older guy in my department but he's gone chilly and I don't know why. Another one I thought we had some common ground in that we both have and love dogs, but he's been avoiding me. Maybe because he finds it awkward to talk to me. To be fair I panic so much when chatting that I say stupid things and don't make sense sometimes so I don't blame him.
I've started taking up extracurricular training in an attempt to meet others in other departments, but they've already grouped up and bonded with people in their own. We had group work and I was the only one who didn't have somebody to work with so I had to talk to the guy running the group.
High school all over again, man. I'm less discouraged by these things than I once was, but making future plans to move out and escape pseudo-neetdom seem so pointless because it's not worth making the effort if it's just for me. I feel so worthless haha I don't know where to go or how to get there. Sorry to ramble, it's just weighing heavily right now. I was on the verge of losing it last week but I'm trying to pull it back around.
Sorry to hear you struggle with social media too. You're right, it's mad how people can be so comfortable being open to so many people without fear. Is that what self esteem looks like? Just like… Being really publicly comfy with yourself?
That, and all the posts from people getting houses and getting married and having kids, really can be a punch in the gut.
No. 472702
>>472585Did you have friends before? Maybe you should try reconnecting with them.
Posting on social media isn't always a sign of self esteem. A lot of times people do it because they are insecure. I'm not really sure why you are so hung up over social media. Nobody cares if you post or not.
No. 472710
>>472673Sorry to hear about it not working out with the other teachers! I think it is kinda random luck when it comes to forming friendships with people much more senior than you, sometimes it works and it is so cool an other times it feels like you're 12 years old and trying to make small talk with your mom's colleague at a grocery store lol. Older men are easier to talk to in some aspects bc they either like younger women paying attention to them (and in their eyes all young women are 10/10) or they see you as their daughter/granddaughter, but their sympathies can kinda wax and vane as a result, older women are more stable in their sympathies I've observed (work with round 20 50+ folk).
Wrt your peers, honesty just try infiltrating their little extracurricular groups, may be awkward as fuck but like what do you have to lose, right? Talking to the dude running the thing is also good tho, I'd probably just clam up and go semi mute in your place, I usually fare well in academic group work settings but failing to find a partner is still so disorienting and alienating.
It definitely isn't pointless! For one, living on your own/own means is weirdly satisfying and really makes you feel like you did something kek, plus it could give you some confidence in being on the "right track" in life and thus give you more confidence overall! I still kinda rely on using other people as motivation (mostly just not dissapointing my mom kek), but my biggest motivation right now is that I don't want the rest of my life to be like this, my highschool was like this, uni rn has been like this, it is absolutely unbearable and I don't want the rest of my life continue the same way. Even if it possibly doesn't seem like it, it can always get worse and it would be a waste if it did, think about the progress/good things that have have happened in the last year or months, and focus on that. You're doing a PhD! Like how impressive is that! Go for a walk, have a nice lunch, listen to cringy music you like (Naruto ops always do it for me) etc etc, just regroup and keep on keeping on lol
God the marriage posts are the worst! Literally, earnestly and honestly do not want to get married but seeing my best friend from secondary school get married last month was some proper twilight zone shit, really makes you feel like a baby lagging 12 developmental milestones behind huh.
No. 472713
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>>472051I dropped out of hs 6 years ago because I was being molested and ever since I became a neet. This year I enrolled into community college though all my classes are online since I did it at the last minute. I'm mentally stunted, but I am glad I chose to break the cycle this year. I am becoming afraid of staying at home as I was raped by my own family member. It's not like I like being at home doing nothing. I feel terrible being alive, yet I want to work to be away from thinking about me. I'm so afraid of everything.
No. 472751
I've been a NEET most of my life.
>parents never put me in school for religious reasons, "homeschooled" us but didn't actually school us beyond basic reading/writing and some math, didn't socialize us or teach us anything valuable, are also hoarders
>parents try to randomly put me in highschool, I fail bc it's too hard for me not understanding any of the work and having crippling social anxiety
>get my GED at 19
>get my first job at 21
>take some college classes, fail most of them
>quit job after 2.5 years bc they were treating me like donkey shit and overworking me to the point I couldn't get schoolwork done
>dad wants me to get a degree but is also mad at me for quitting my job (pick one asshole)
>fail class anyway
>don't work for 9 months (tried to find a new job but no one would hire me)
>no references, hardly any experience, no skills, no education (besides GED), no social skills
>finally got a job at the beginning of august, but it was temporary and ended
>trying to get a job again, no luck
>no room in my house for anything bc of parents hoarding, serious mold problem in closet in my bedroom, can't sleep bc I have to keep my window uncovered (otherwise my room fills up with mold smell) so sunlight keeps me awake
>also parents are fucking loud 24/7, mom literally watches TV 24/7 can hear it from my room
>no shower, have to go to the gym to shower which is a pain in the ass, which makes keeping up hygiene hard, which effects my ability to keep a job
>dad continues to grill me for not having a job, but also wants me to get a degree, despite having done nothing my entire life that would help me accomplish either of those things (and still to this day does nothing that would help me, like fixing our shower or getting rid of the mold)
>no friends either, friendships are way too hard to manage for me
I'm pretty sure I'll be a NEET for the rest of my life. even if I do get a job it won't be enough to support me without living with my parents. I'm too dumb for university too. I'm seeing a therapist right now but it hasn't helped much.
No. 472760
>>472751you have to move out anon!!! your parents are
toxic and will never let you go anywhere in life,also considering you've had a number of jobs and education you are a way above a average NEET
No. 472767
>>472760I know and I really wanna move out, but I don't know how I'll ever do that bc I don't know how to get a job that will make me enough money to do that. my therapist keeps trying to get me to pursue a trade and I don't know if that's what I really want, but at this point it might be my only choice pretty much. I also feel this weird dependency on my parents? like even though I resent them and they're holding me back I feel like I need them.
I'm also too fugly for a sugar daddy so that's not an option for me either lol
No. 472844
File: 1571139347934.jpeg (72.17 KB, 512x444, 1557387524830.jpeg)
For everyone in this thread
No. 473175
Struggling ex-NEET here. I was a NEET for 3 years and finally broke free into semi-functioning-normie-hood a year ago. I work a 9-to-5 job which I enjoy, I like the people I work with and I'm generally good at convincing people I wasn't a total hermit weirdo for years of my life. But still, every weekend that rolls by, unless I have something social to do with my time, I revert back into the disgusting basement dweller I used to be: I'll sit watching netflix in my pajamas for two days straight eating crap, chain smoking, drinking and avoiding all human interaction. I guess 'normies' do that too sometimes but as I don't have many friends this is generally the majority of my weekends. As soon as Monday morning comes around it becomes a real struggle to get up. I contemplate calling in sick, or just quitting cold-turkey and reverting back to my old NEET lifestyle. It was the most boring 3 years of my life, and I dread every weekend I'm on my own, but I can't seem to snap out of it. I called in sick yesterday because for once I genuinely was, and today getting up was almost impossible, I got up with 10 minutes to spare before I needed to leave the house.
I hate how much of a struggle it is to do normal shit. I keep reminding myself I was bored out of my mind and I cannot afford anymore gaps in my resume, but I'm starting to look for reasons to quit my job and/or jump in front of a bus. I've gained 10lbs in the past month and I haven't been out with my friends since late August. Does it get any easier?
No. 473331
File: 1571214291010.jpg (98.17 KB, 750x744, b4t68rawblh21.jpg)
So here's my .02 blog post.
I've never had or wanted a job beyond a few retail part time stints in high school. That was enough for me to realize that it's impossible for me to be happy in traditional employment.
I do about one freelance gig per month, which is enough to sustain my lifestyle traveling around the world and pursuing my creative hobbies.
I am "poor" by Western standards, a bit scruffy and maybe I eat a lot of rice instead of restaurants, but I am free. I don't have any demands on my time or emotional labor. I don't have to spend my time interacting with coworkers or staring at a computer screen generating money for someone else.
If you actually have motivation, goals, and the brains to scheme to achieve a lifestyle for yourself, being out of education, employment, or training is actually a blessing.
If your only hobby is watching Netflix, then of course you're depressed and squandering the gift of life and the human potential.
The difference between NEETs, entrepreneurs, and artists is all about mindset.
If there's a will, there's a way.
No. 473369
>>473331I'm pretty sure the vast majority of us just want stable employment,a group of small friends that have similar niche hobbies as us and a Understanding nice SO
I don't wanna travel the world and be entrepreneur/freelancer I just want to be a normie
No. 473500
>>473245Thanks anon. I'm sorry things went to shit for you. Best of luck getting back on track.
>>473237I mean I do for sure, I can't afford therapy and my doctor won't change my meds even though they don't help, he just ups and lowers the dose every few weeks. I feel like depression is kind of an entry-level requirement for being dumb enough to become a NEET.
No. 473506
>>473385At the very least it seems like they have things they're passionate about. Hell people can even be passionate about watching shows on netflix or whatever but really most NEETs are just killing time instead of doing the things they enjoy, which is why they hate it so much. Of course there's the money aspect but the truth of the matter is NEETs hate being by themselves, and don't have anything they enjoy. Why would they toil looking for work or friends if they are, at a baseline, not even happy?
Nobody truly enjoys wage slaving unless it's their dream job, I'd rather be like that anon instead of having to go to 9-5 every day
No. 473522
>>472713This is why modern capitalism sucks and should be replaced by a better system. What place does the money-making system have for people like you?
After you've been exploited sexually, you either get to literally pay for being traumatized by going to expensive therapy just in order to earn a living (read: buy products and contribute to the economy), or you remain a social pariah.
It just adds financial exploitation and labour exploitation to sexual exploitation.
FUCK THAT FUCK IT FUCK IT FUCK FUUUUUUUUUUUUCK
No. 473533
>>473528Are you for real?
The social system you live in is crucial for your entire course of life, big and small things included.
But don't listen to me, just imagine how different your life would be 100, 200, 1000 years ago. Or move to Saudi Arabia or China or something.
I still can't believe you're for real.
No. 473548
>>473536To answer your question:
I advocate we move on to something better than capitalism. Something that is less economy-oriented and more centered on people and the environment. We CAN do better than this.
To respond to your insult:
I've read the works of Marx, Engels, Trotsky… I've also read Adam Smith, Kaynes, Kotler… have you? You should.
No. 473565
>>473558Defeatist
>>473559Rude
To what are you defeatist and rude? To the idea of giving a sexually abused
victim a better environment.
Whyyyyyyyyy????
No. 473578
>>473571Yeah I would you autist. Go be
triggered somewhere else.
No. 473588
>>473572>>473578I literally can't believe I'm getting juvenile insults on a forum filled with women for criticising the way incest sexual abuse
victims are treated and suggesting we can do better.
What the actual fuck.
No. 473596
>>473522Communism is what condemned me to neetdom, you really don't know what a lack of opportunities and state enforced stagnation and oppression does to people and to mass psychology.
But not like it matters, obviously neet threads attract that kind of sperging and i guess some just want magical utopian faeries to swoop in with the gibs, but it would be best to keep it about our individual experiences rather than for political zealoting. It doesn't even matter where you live or your income, there's all sorts of people going trough neetdom for different reasons.
No. 473604
>>473591I'm literally the only one staying on the subject by criticising the system that gave birth to the concept of Neetdom.
>>473596Communism is not the only alternative to capitalism.
No. 473615
>>473604Have fun believing in your economic system which doesn't exist. It's like a magic sky fairy.
>>473597Your mom suffers from a personality disorder
>>473588You definitely seem like you have autism now
No. 473622
>>473615>Have fun believing in your economic system which doesn't exist. It's like a magic sky fairy.You-hoo-hoo-hoo may say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one…
Planes, computers, free negroes and working women, all thought to be impossible once.
But we did the impossible. And we'll do it again.
No. 473634
>>473631What kind of a retort is that?
Just ride a carriage instead of a plane. Just write and calculate by hand and communicate by post. Just serve you white master / husband instead of being independent.
Just don't question the status quo.
No. 473636
I am
>>473331 OP.
I posted here because people want to boohoo about -society- and capitalism, when really the problem is themselves, and the course of actions they are taking with their one precious life on earth.
You can rage against the machine all you want, but you have to operate within the framework of the life you are given.
>>473509Nope lol, not a camgirl, I work as a freelance video editor.
>>473459Cost of living in Asia and
South America is much lower than the US. My only expenses are rent (300 USD) and food, which is as cheap as you want it to be. Cooking is fun.
>>473385>>473514I have tons of goals and plans in life that I'm actively pursuing, I'm just not going to blog post them because no1curr.
"A car or house or health insurance" aren't essential for life, it's only necessary if you design your life around the need of those things.
In fact, you can have more savings if you aren't obligated by these possessions.
>>473369>>473510Valuing stability over adventure or freedom is totally
valid dude. If it is your path to happiness, I wish you the best.
No. 473639
>>473635I'm from what used to be Yugoslavia. I'm also an oldfag. We thrived during communism, and I'll admit being nostalgic for it.
Communism didn't crumble because it was a bad system, but because we lost the Cold War. And by we, I mean Slavs. They tore all our lands into smaller, less threatening pieces. Since the victor writes the history, communism=bad, capitalism=good.
But that's not the truth, just propaganda. Truth is, both systems are flawed, and both have good sides. If people were not so irrational and confrontational, we'd easily nice away from these labels to forge something better than both.
No. 473640
>>473639But Yugoslavia was the only one in the commie block that had anything resembling a market economy and free market competition though. It wasn't the marxism that made You guys more successful than other neighbors in the axis who idn't escape the collectivization policies of Moscu, and what made Yugoslavian model different was the also git it antagonized by the soviets with purges , assasination attempts and all the works for not being commie enough.
This have gotten to off topic though.
No. 473646
>>473643Why is then Kenya not as successful as the US or Germany, after all they're all capitalist countries? Why is commie China more successful than capitalist Kenya? Come on dude.
>>473640>market economy and free market competitionNo, we didn't. I remember the opening of the market came as a shock to me. We were not an exception nor anomaly. We were proof it can work.
No. 473652
I got out of NEETdom by becoming a security officer. I got my boyfriend to become one as well. We couldn't take the manual labor jobs that paid like shit anymore, it tore us down. Too much demand, and we came home burnt out. Both of us would be unemployed for a few months in between jobs because of how much was expected out of us. Now we just are paid to watch cameras, drive a patrol vehicle around for a couple miles, and tell people where they need to go.
It feels good to have some energy when you're out of work. Seriously, definitely apply to see if you'd like it. My only advice is to avoid any hospital positions.
During training, you'll notice a lot of people in the field are former NEETs as well and then there's a couple of people who think they can be cops or are former cops, but they go off and do their own thing and are usually at armed sites, completely optional training but you do get paid more if you're into that.
Rarely do I have to work with another officer near me at all times, if someone gets too annoying, I usually just walk away and patrol somewhere else. The best part is I'm essentially still doing my job. As long as you're clocked in and your presence is known, you're good. You get to take breaks on your own time, too.
I am a soft spoken, socially anxious person, but this job really doesn't require much. Just do your patrols, which mainly requires walking, sitting, and observing. If anything bad happens, you're advised to just go ahead and call 911 instead of being the "hero".
I get paid $13 an hour doing this shit, unarmed, where minimum wage is just above $8. It's so freeing, anons. 4 years doing this common sense shit and I'm almost eligible to apply for higher paying positions, like field supervisor, where all you're doing is driving site to site and checking up on if they need anything, like office supplies, car stuff, uniforms. You're basically just going around collecting info to relay to the main office. I am pretty sure they get paid $18+ for this.
I love it.
No. 473672
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I just don’t think I’m made out to survive in the American economy. They require too much extroversion and aggressive personality and workaholic values… I’ve had such terrible experience with 9 to 5 employment.
I’m daydreaming about going back to live in my third world country to teach English and do niche otaku crafts to get by. My family is neither poor or rich by third world standard so I wouldn’t struggle to eat or anything. Local tourism is cheap and there’s always fresh sea food. I want to just live with some very close female friends and we can go to the beach whenever we want.
My family would never allow this of course, unless it is to marry some chauvinist salary man.
No. 473687
>>473646Because you can't compare any african country to a european one, they have completely different conditions to begin with. Germany is the perfect proof, you're just too blind to see (or too proud to admit you're wrong): same country, same people, yet completely different outcome.
Also, your definition of "successful" probably defers from ours: China itself might be rich, but nevertheless there are still millions living in extreme poverty. Not even taking into account factors like their pretty much non-existent happiness… Money isn't everything, quality of life is also essential.
I also don't like the US, but people unironically shilling communism in 2019 are either trolling or absolutely braindead.
Take off the rose-tinted glasses.
No. 473709
>>472833As someone who’s also been ghosted by psychiatrists, knock that fuckers door down. Figure out where they went (one of mine up and retired out of the blue and left the country lol). Figure out a new psychiatrist if you can, otherwise call every other social service out there to find the resources that psychiatrist said was out there.
Having an Etsy, being creative, and self employment sounds lovely but get your health together before anything imo.
No. 473752
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>>472722yeah I look at my parents who have both worked physically taxing jobs since they were teenagers and have all sorts of aches and pains. my mum works herself into the ground sometimes until she makes herself ill. they both work so hard and make little more than minimum wage. I look at them and it doesn't inspire me to join the workforce (beyond the few hours I do anyway)
No. 473753
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>>473739nta, i'm just sad because thats also true for where i live, on paper it has so much going for it but in reality it is also the murder and crime capital of the world. The beach is only 30 min away from me and yet i haven't gone in like 6 years, i am scared to leave my house even to go to the corner, and after 6 pm everything is closed and it is a ghost town. Feels bad man.
No. 473762
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>fucked up at school through truancy and beginnings of an anxiety disorder, was barely there. left at 16 just scraping 3 GCSE passes
>wanted to go to college to retake my gcses or do art or media or fucking anything to be with my friends
>anxiety disorder with panic attacks made that impossible for me
>went to a centre 2x a week on a scheme called 'entry to employment'. spent my time with around 4 boys who were there for petty crimes. didn't belong there one bit. used to cry thinking of my friends at college while I was there lol. would go to the job centre occasionally while there but mostly we did jack
>took GCSE maths and an IT course with learn direct (any UK anons remember that?) once I left there
>NEET for real from 17-19
>first job as an admin assistant at 19. lasted mere months. too stressful
>NEET again from 19-21
>21-29 soul destroying cleaning jobs with bouts of NEETdom but at least I don't see many people and can get on with my work while listening to music/audiobooks. only work 4 hours a week in the early mornings sometimes late evenings. I earn around £32 a week lmao
I live with my parents and they're really supportive of me thankfully. I'm very lucky. my anxiety has been very bad in the past, with severe depression and feeling suicidal too. I have no friends and only really leave the house to go shopping and to work. I want to stop doing cleaning jobs and do something new but it scares the crap out of me. I worry I wont be able to cope or that my anxiety/depression will take hold of me again. I'm fast approaching 30 though and want to try something new, I can't stay this way forever.
No. 474390
>>472195Ugh, this one hit close to home for me. Only I'm even older, I'm 34. I recently applied for a couple of jobs at a grocery store, but I dunno if I'll even get hired, considering my lack of experience and education.
Maybe you could apply for disability due to your chronic illness. I'm sorry you're having such a shit time dude, I understand though. It might sound stupid, but some sort of therapy might help? I had to be upped on my meds, and it's helped me. I dunno if you can afford that though, or if there are any alternatives to where you can get therapy on a sliding scale/for free.
As for friends, it may not seem like much, but you can always rant to us on here.
No. 474549
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No. 474552
>>474324You live at mom's with your boyfriend, whom I presume give you an allowance for your weed and candy since you didn't mention ever having to go to work.
You have access to a car and the ability to drive it.
You have tons of time.
You mother tolerates this kind of lifestyle.
Yes you have an incredibly charmed life that you are squandering because you're unmotivated and too cozy with routine.
Why not research some activities or low cost hobbies you could do in between naps and munchy runs? It's not like weed dulls inspiration and imagination.
I agree with other anons that you are making yourself depressed. You feel no purpose because you're not assigning any to your life.
No. 474560
>>474324what do you want your life to look like? since you use the word depression it suggests you want something to change in which case I'm sorry but you gotta cut down on the weed. If you have the luxury of not having to work then what about studying something, doesn't have to be a full on full time degree, could just be part time or evening classes in something fun like art or creative writing. or a part time low stress job or volunteer work or anything
you can either go about it by changing one thing at a time or you can do something drastic like apply for a course or a ob that would force you to move out and change everything all at once. but yeah start by thinking about what you would like your days to look like.
No. 474561
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I finally got a really great job, the whole team are absolutely hilarious, and our training consists of parties and playing board games. I finally feel like I have a job where I don't feel lonely for once.
I'm also applying for university, fortunately my partner and his mom are really smart people and can help me with the whole process. I'm planning to get in with a test though, but there's a lot of math, and I am hopeless at math. I hope I do well though.
No. 474566
>>474324>>474373>>474447>>474552>>474560First off, thank you for not being disgusted with me.
My bf gets money either thru working or thru his parents.
I cry evey day bevause my family split up a million years ago because my dad came out of the closet. Then he left the country for a decade. Before thay, he wasn't super keen on me anyway. My mom, who was once a soft place to land, turned to the bottle. My home life went from secure, to cold and desolate in the course of 3 years. Then I dropped all my friends. This is around freshman year of hs. I was bullied by one of my siblings growing up and as a result I was nkt o ly super critical of ,yself, but also of my peeers, and when I feemed them "lame," I dropped them. Then I stopped going to school. I can't really remember what the fuck my parents were doing at tbis point, and idk why they didn't guide me and help me. I eventually graduated by independent study. This whole time I am hanging out with stoners and kids drinking way too much way too often. My home life is the same - my mom let us drink at the house so sometimes my friends would be there without me present. My older sibling latched onto my friends (not really close friends, but the people I would get fucked up with at that point in time. Thinking back on it, none of them liked me anyways and zi didn't like them.) and as I isolated in my room, they created bonds. My mom was working and everything, but since the divorce she made friends with an ex's bar-hopping whore of a mother and that became my mom's past time. And mine became knocking hard on our shared wall when she would bring a one night stand home and loudly have sex. One time she hit me all over my head because I spoke up to her. Meanwhile before my dad left the country he's dating a man that's only a handful of years older than me, his youngest child. Now that he's gone, he's with a man who is even younger than me.
I'm drinking so mush at this point that idk how I'm alive today. I went to the hospital once when I couldn't stop throwing up. I was 18. I remember being surprised at how much the nurses gave a shit that someone well below the drinking age could end up like this.
Anyways no one asked for this but I feel compelled to get it out.
I guess my point is that I have never accomplished anything, I went to college on and off for like 2 semesters. I couldn't ealk to my classed without feeling like everyone was looking and hating me. So I stopped. No one cared enough to step in, so off I went. I truly thought I could fuck off school, my only responsibility, and I would be okay. Now I'm an empty shell of a woman who has 0 responsibilities and 0 accomplishments.
I wish I could explain what this cycle feels like. Being sucked back into my bed and letting another day pass. I feel like I'm in the middle of a bomb exploding or something and all I can really do is white knuckle it and cover my ears. No resources to spend on unctioning outside my front door.
My only shining baby step is that I started exercising for 30 mins a day, on most days,for about a year now. It's my bf's car that we drive around, and he is starting a new job after next week. I think once he gets his schedule locked down I will try a class, or even driving somewhere like the library, on my own. Then maybe I'll do a class of some kind. I would ultimately like to work a simple office job or something. I feel like a job is the end-all-be-all here and I will feel so much more valuable and less embarrassed if I have one.
This has got to be all over the place. I'm sorry for not proofreading. Also I'm sure there are a gazillion typos. Sorry. I'm poor bc I'm too useless and self indulgent to get a job despite my pain even thougbph every single other person has to and somehow does.
No. 474568
>>474567Idk how I got so lucky. He listens to me and loves the shit out of me. He doesn't think I'm a piece of shit and he's all the warmth that my parents don't have.
But eveyone focuses on what they don't have, I'm envious of anons in here who go to college and have pools of "normal" life experience…
I cry all the time when I see children and innocent, cute things. I went to a state fair and I couldn't handle the wholesomeness and I broke down crying. I had to explain that to my mom and sibling and niece who were there with me. I feel like an insane person. I know everyone carries pain, and a lot of ppl went thru way more fucked up ahit than me. So why can't I function???
No. 474636
>>472793master's degree lol, i wish i was in that kind of relationship
>>472710hey anon i know this is a late response but i just wanted to thank you for replying. i've been thinking about what you said all week, and it's carried me through. have been less upset when things go wrong or when social shit goes badly. less sad about my teacher friend ditching me, too. you're a good egg.
i hope you are doing ok?
No. 474739
>>474636Aw anon, I'm glad my kinda lame advice has been useful! And that you have had a decent week! It kinda felt like we're in similar set ups (well, I'm just an undergrad but still) so I wanted to like let you know you aren't alone and others understand even tho I'm not the best at advising. Also if your teacher friend doesn't want your surely delightful company, it is his loss and your dog is probably cuter than his anyway!
I managed to attend all my classes and properly focus instead of zoning out, but then I kinda fucked up by not going to a workshop as I got there bit late and couldn't gather myself to enter the room alone and all. Had quality socialisation time at work however as my fav manager was on, he's like a funny yet very dysfunctional father to me kek.
Like I know the key is zoning out just a bit and understanding that no one ever notices you're that awkward/weird/etc, when I'm in a good mindspace it works and I'm golden, but then some other days (like workshop Wednesday) I feel like crying if someone looks at me lol. Hope the next week is good to both of us!
No. 474752
>>474653lol my life is fine, not tragic. But I have to go to uni and I'm single so it makes my life unequivocally worse off than hers. Understand?
As for something contributing to the thread, I was kind of in a semi-NEET rut (took time at uni and worked only part time with an easy job) and what cured me was going WWOFing in South America.
No. 474759
>>474593Realistically if you don't plan on having kids but still want a breadwinner husband to foot all bills while you go through life never getting a job: this dynamic will breed resentment and put too much stress on one person's shoulders. Eventually arguments will turn into you being reminded that you contribute nothing.
And it leaves you really vulnerable , if you break up what happens to you, where do you live post break up when you have no income or job skills of your own? You can't rely on that as a stable life plan. Relationships end all the time, marriages too
Last year I faced homelessness when my seemingly perfect long term relationship ended, I realised that years of depending on a guys income (at his insistence) had chipped away at my self esteem. Independence is worth the hard work
No. 474775
>>474763>Eventually arguments will turn into you being reminded that you contribute nothing.Even when she IS a SAHM there's a good chance she will get this treatment, men legitimately do not think of child rearing as anywhere near as much work as his 9-5. And they commend women for being housewives right up until it suits him to hold his earning power and tangible contributions over his wife's head.
But frankly if there's no kids involved, it's not a good look to be a stay at home partner. Just because someone is willing to finance your NEEThood doesn't mean you should accept it, they are either pathetic or have ill intent. No normal person would want to fully support another adult like that.
No. 474811
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>>474805we're all gonna make it
No. 474838
Don't know when this turned into a pro-NEET thread where posters think it's cool to swap living off your parents for living off a bf (or desperately wishing for a rich bf lol) The whole point of this thread is to get out of NEETdom
>>474805Making good progress anon. Keep on top of dental care! A decade after leaving my NEETdom phase I'm just about finished dealing with dental appointments to fix all the neglect, been expensive
Have the iron supplements helped with fatigue?
No. 474869
>>474802nta but I didn't asked to be born and while I love my mom, I don't have to like my parents or thank them for bringing me onto this planet which I really wish they didn't. Retarded People like you that make such stupid points are so annoying.
t. not a NEET
No. 474887
>>474811>>474824>>474861>>474838Thx ily.
>>474838Yes! I'm wide awake all day. Even in the morning. Feels like I have superpowers.
No. 474894
>>474838I definietly don't think it's cool. I posted about more than my bf, anons just took that and ran with it. A literal troll post after my effortpost abt my life. I want to talk to ppl about how they overcame pain, or how they do it daily, in order to function. Everyone must do this. Why can't I?
>>474802You weren't responding to me (bf NEET you're angry at) in this, but I agree with your feelings.
>>474775>No normal person would want to fully support another adult like that.Really? In this whole wide world, you think there are NO people willing to suffer working so their loved one(s) don't have to?
>>474638I understand what you mean. I probably would.
>>474657Thanks. I think about the high-and-dry thing often. I guess I accepted that if that happens, I'll be forced to get a job. It happened to people close to me before and that's how it goes. I guess I'll deal with that if and when it happens.
>>474752I've been trying to understand your comment for a while now. Are you being sarcastic, or do you mean your life is "worse off" bc you have to work for a living?
How did you go to South Africa? I often daydream about going to a halfway house but for NEETS.
Like exactly what they have for drug addicts, with the rigid routine and slow integration into the workforce/society. As if I couldn't get any more pathetic. Or one of those ranch programs where you work your ass off in order to not be a directionless piece of shit.
>>474759I understand whay you're saying about resentment. I'll keep it in mind.
>>474763Because he wants to. Idk what else to tell you guys. He is okay with making the money.
What if I told you guys that he does like the idea of me being at home? And that I like the idea of being protected? Am I not allowed to feel this way? Can we explore this without hurling insults at each other? May as well throw in that we don't want kids.
>>47481>>47488These are not me btw
>>474783I'm not powerless. Not every man is a creep.
I somehow didn't anticipate anons latching onto my boyfriend. I should've known better. Where do I go from here? I came in here to lay out my life story for some reason. I think I wanted pity from others after posting about my family. Pity and gentle help. LOL I hate myself
No. 474895
>>474878uk anon so perhaps not the answer you're looking for, basically you only have to pay back loans once you earn over £21,000 and the payments are taken off your income before it gets to you, like income tax is in this country. you only pay back something stupid like 10% of anything you earn over £21,000 so it's manageable. also the debt doesn't affect your credit history or getting a mortgage or whatever. so as financial commitments go it was actually an option to get some kind of a life without working and mooching off parents.
as for knowing higher ed is important, well my granddad was called to study at oxford back in the days when they had to pay you to attend. he was a poor immigrant in the black country and his mother worked two jobs to get him elocution lessons and better his chances of social mobility. going to oxford changed his entire life trajectory - if he hadn't had that chance he'd probably have been sent down the pit for forty odd years. so it's always been really important in our family. i think most kids in the uk go on to higher ed though because of degree inflation. a bachelors is the minimum here now if you want a job that's not retail.
No. 474898
>>474895Ah yeah, I should've specified USA anons.
Thanks for the reply– the importance your family put on university was enlightening.
My father wanted us all to be good little students like he was, but literally put no effort into educating us on the importance of college, pushing us into the right programs and directions, etc, much less how to pay for something like that, or god forbid, contributing himself to a fund. Then he gets disgusted with his loser American children and fucks off to China where everyone is an amazing scholar, and worth his time. I'm bitter as fuck that two people as intelligent as my parents didn't guide someone as intelligent as I am into secondary education. How do I stop being this pathetic? I wish I wanted to go to school. I don't.
No. 474899
>>474775Years ago I was struggling with a disability that would affect me more some days than others. I had an arrangement of cleaning and cooking for me and my partner (and his son at weekends) while he worked, even on painful days I kept up with it and everyone was happy
Two years in when the honeymoon period ended and naturally you go from having sex twice a day to 2/3 times a week he starts arguing with me and telling me that I -contribute nothing- We already split other bills from the beginning but he demanded that I start paying half of the rent immediately. As someone on a small disability payment he knew this was impossible. Looking back he was only happy when he was getting sex every single day. Fucked me up when I realised that despite me cleaning, cooking and splitting other bills; I was -fucking for rent- in his eyes
I now own my own house and work from home, the independence feels amazing!
No. 474905
>>474899That's terrible. How can someone be so callous? You really didn't realize he was a piece of shit before moving in with him and assuming care of his son (on the weekends)? And it didn't tip you off when he would allow you to do all the cooking while in pain?
I'm glad you got out of that shitshow anon.
No. 474914
>>474905He seemed great for two years, we had one fight when I had a painful couple of days and he came home to a dirty apartment but apart from that he seemed kind, generous, on the weekends we'd often eat out somewhere and he'd pay for the 3 of us
Shows how men can suddenly change if they're not getting the exact amount of sex they want. I don't want to feel like turning down sex will cost me the roof over my head. Glad to be paying my way now!
No. 474922
>>474915If it helps to hear anon I was housebound with agoraphobia for years, I know it feels like a 'forever thing' at the time but you can slowly expand your comfort zone and start to go out little by little
It helps to have meds to take the edge off the anxiety and a family member to (quite literally) hold your hand in the beginning
No. 474931
>>474915how old are you anon? I have a (male) friend in a similar situation who hadn't left the house in six years or so, like
>>474922 said he took it in baby steps and has a part time job now, goes to therapy and feels a lot more positive. do you have a lot of online friends?
No. 474936
>>474922these next upcoming months where i'll be going out to see doctors and whatnot is both stressing and scaring me, but also feels kind of good? i'm hoping something good comes out from all this
>>474931i just turned 24 recently. up until recently, i had a small group of online friends but not anymore. i have trouble being social. i don't know what it is, i am very introverted i know that but keeping up with people and being social is always exhausting to me. i mean, i know it's my mental health that is doing this, but i can go days, weeks, not talking to anyone and i like that. i don't miss talking to people, i like being alone :/
No. 474937
>>474894>LOL I hate myselfNo, you don't. You clearly seem to believe that you're deserving of not having to move a finger while your bf totally loves to suffer working for you. Why do you need to be cared for? You're a grown-ass woman. What do you need to be protected from? The world outside is not as scary as you think. If you don't change that attitude you will never get better. Your bf is probably still putting up with you now while hoping you're bettering yourself but deep down you both know that this is just unfair and impossible to last.
Reading through this thread made me realize that most neets are not poor mentally ill souls but lazy and entitled womanchildren trying to come up with excuses to somehow justify that "lifestyle".
No. 474944
>>474936I know there's dread coming up to facing things like seeing a doctor or other appointments but I always remember experiencing real highs from achieving those things, from an agoraphobics perspective attending a doctors appt is like conquering mount everest.. if there's any silver lining to the situation it's the happiness that comes with those successes
You might always have something like social anxiety but exposure therapy really tackles agoraphobia
No. 474962
>>474949Ah sorry. ITAYRT I had this exact thought about my multiple posts itt. So stupid. I am self-obsessed. Idk which posts of yours I quoted, otherwise I would clarify. Even though really, what's the fucking point.
>>474937I don't feel entitled to him working to support me. But I'll accept because you're right- I'm terrified of the outside world.
This has been exactly what I knew it would be. Humiliating. I knew that before I posted and I still did it.
I need therapy. I'm going to focus on my baby step for now and make sure to get up with intention, and to do my bike exercises and eat breakfast. I'm going to also make the steps towards getting back into therapy.
No. 474976
I think some of you NEETs have it better than you think. I feel like I can't be a NEET because I'm too deficient in some ways. I really NEED to travel and see people or otherwise I feel really bad. If you're fine with your situation and don't need to see people, I don't see what's so bad.
>>474899Just curious, how do you work from home?
>>474894Go to wwoof.net or workaway.info. Then buy a plane ticket and go there. You will have a lot of work to do. It doesn't seem like you're ready yet.
No. 475010
>>475005nah, they clearly are, from both this thread and the stupid questions thread. being concerned for these women is one thing, but it clearly goes beyond that with the way these posts are phrased. making men who volunteer to support their gfs (usually) because they want control over women out to be "uwu
victims of
abusive neet women", etc. it's laughable.
No. 475019
>>475015i dont think those men are wonderful. have never said it, i wouldnt want to put my faith in them, i have no bf and i'm not neet, but the women complaining about neets living off their bfs for being "leeches sucking off these bepenised saints until they snap uwu" is clearly just salty bullshit. most men who do this aren't angelic saviors. they're often manipulators. i wouldn't recommend women be reliant on men precisely bc of that reason and that critique is
valid, but i don't think neet anons are vampiric soulsuckers with nothing to offer anyone.
No. 475120
Some of you NEET anons are pretty sad. It's really pitiable. But why do I get the feeling that you guys drag others for random shit on other threads?
>>475010No one ever said that people who finance NEETs are abused. Where the fuck did you get that?
>>475019To each their own, so I guess some guys would like a NEET girlfriend. But it's frustrating that in this so-called age of feminism a lot of guys don't care about their gf having a career at all to the point they don't care if their gf has any kind of job or not.
No. 475165
>>472051I’m younger than everyone here, I’m 18 and pretty much ever since HS graduation earlier this year i’ve been living a pretty NEET lifestyle. I didn’t have many friends back in school, and now I only really have my online friends. I have college classes once a week at night, but other than that I just stay home. I had existing issues with my mental health that have gone untreated for years and I feel like being so alone just exacerbated them. I used to go out a lot to concerts and such, but i had a realization at one that everyone around me was having a good time around me, but i wasn’t.. so I left early. It’s really messed with me having that so I’ve avoided the 4 other concerts I had tickets for out of the feet that I would have another breakdown like that. I’m slowly trying to build up the… confidence? to finally get help for my issues with depression and such, and in the mean time I’m saving up for a guitar to be a new hobby since my old one of going to concerts has been ruined for me, kind of. I can’t really help my college situation, and the student body isn’t really my age group, so I’m just trying to hope i can throw myself into a self sufficient hobby. will help. My parents wouldn’t ever let me go full NEET, it’s either go to college or get a job in order to keep living with them, but being so solitary has exacerbated my issues so now I just feel like I’m just trying to make myself feel better until i can finally get professional help. Over the past few months since grad i’ve just been feeling so intensely suicidal and thinking about self harm for the first time in years, so I’m just a tad scared about that.
No. 475186
>>475172I'm not shitting on NEETs. I feel sorry for them. I don't understand how people can live like this. I do shit on NEETs who think they have the right to drag people.
Or maybe I can. I had periods where I was semi NEET. (In uni but missing class and failing classes/working part time)
Here's what helped me to my currently busy life:
>Did yogaI didn't do much but I tried to do some every week. I should do it more often now
>Worked on an organic farmIt showed me how important being active and social was
>Got a new best friendMy old best friend was not very supportive. I got a new best friend after reconnecting with an old friend and being roommates. Honestly this is what helps me the most and made the transition back to uni so much easier.
>Got on ADHD medicineI'm diagnosed with ADHD but adderall is just so helpful in general, imo. It really helps with the tests/projects that I couldn't deal with before. It also makes you feel so much more confident
Is this helpful or not enough?
No. 475280
The thing about being a NEET and taking baby steps is that it feels like being acutely confronted with your inadequacy. Personally, I feel humiliated when I'm to focus on doing one simple task for my whole day, week, month. It's easy to give up based on those embarrassing feelings. Not only is it sobering in that regard, but it's actually
difficult to pull off. It's kind of ironic that one has to take baby steps in order to build themselves up into a functioning adult.
>>475186How did you get a job/volunteer opportunity at the farm? What kinds of things did you do? That sounds really cool.
No. 475651
>>475401Thank you so much for your encouragement! I'm on the bike again rn. I felt so much better yesterday just bc I decided to commit myself to recovery from this lifestyle. Now, just to keep going when that positivity inevitably blows away. I like what another anon suggested which was to "put your brain on autopilot" when you have to do something but your brain is throwing a tantrum. It's very basic and even obvious advice, but for some reason the way she worded it has stuck with me.
Onto a shower and cooking a big breakfast for me and my partner.
No. 476762
>>475280>How did you get a job/volunteer opportunity at the farm? What kinds of things did you do? That sounds really cool.I applied in the farm's website.
My duties were doing basic work around the farm for a couple of hours a day including cleaning. I was sick when I first got there, and I think the owner got kind of pissed that I wasn't doing much. However, it was winter and there wasn't that much to do.
Just google WWOFing or communes. I don't think you have to be qualified.
No. 476899
>>476588Thanks! It was only me! Sorry for being annoying but I'm using this thread for motivation dammit!
I'm biking again today. I had a rough day yesterday but I'm on the bike today. And I will go inside, eat breakfast, and take a shower. Because that's my focus. I'm exploring what it feels like to have a bad day emotionally and
not give up because of it.
>>476642It'll be okay anon. Let someone in.
No. 476905
>>476762ITAYRT and that sounds cool. I was initally turned off when you(? It may have been another anon) said it costs money, but it's not very much money. I live in a busy city with lots of farms, I may be able to find a free program yet. It's cool to speak to someone who already did it so thanks for the reply.
>>476772You're missing the whole point from the neet's perspective, but yeah it must be nice for those farms to get the free labor and any tax writeoffs that come with participation in such a program. Oh well, you can take what you need from it if you're the type of person who would benefit from this type of work.
No. 476953
File: 1572028177475.png (1.03 MB, 719x701, image0.png)
I dropped out of college for the second time two years ago and was a neet for a full year before getting a task job at a beauty store, but even then I still pretty much lived like a neet cause I only got 8 hours a week. After 6 months I finally got a second part time retail job and was working over 30 hours a week and it was really difficult, socially a lot more challenging and I was screamed at/criticized by customers constantly and after the first few months we got a new manager who I was really incompatible with, she constantly misunderstood what I was trying to say and gave me conflicting instructions and I had a massive mental breakdown and quit on the spot after working there for 3 months. Since then I moved to my boyfriend's house to work on a project for his family and while I'm technically working doing art and design and occasionally traveling for the project, I still feel like a neet cause there's no clear structure, no w2 and I feel like this will be unusual job experience and not very useful to making myself a productive member of society the way an actual job could. Now I'm just relying on him and his family instead of my own. They insist it's no problem and I'm being useful but I'm making no progress towards my goals of being able to drive and rent an apartment. I wish I could have handled wagie life or college but I just can't manage any steps I know I need to take to improve my life and interest keeps piling up on my student loans and everything about it just sucks.
No. 477066
>>476901recovery is a great way to put it! and it is true, changing the language surrounding the journey to your new and improved quality of life to be more positive makes all the difference. being a NEET shouldn't have such a "bad" perspective towards it, like other anons have expressed, majority of us became comfortable with the NEET lifestyle because it felt like it was the only way to feel safe, sometimes after a few bad experiences in the job world or just school being a drag.
after a while, we do realize, "maybe it's not so bad out there, but i don't know where to start exactly… or what's the safest way to approach this."
you got this, anons! there's tons of us former NEETs who want to you recover and we can help support your bravery.
No. 477118
File: 1572050649397.png (1.13 MB, 962x694, vlc_2019-06-18_21-44-32.png)
I have stopped being a NEET, after years of staying cooped up in my room. However, I truly do miss it.
I didn't mind being alone in my room, just reading shit on the internet and playing single-player games. Now I go to college(I enjoy what I'm being taught), get good grades and have a set of friends, but I get no enjoyment out of socialising with them. Even playing video games with them makes me annoyed, and I know it's not their fault.
I'm starting to think that human connections just aren't for me, even if I act welcoming and try to include others in conversations when I see them being left out.
My goal for now is to finish college so that I can land a comfy job/possibly become a webdev freelancer in the meantime, just to help my mother with the bills.
No. 477391
>>477066Thank you so much for your support. It makes a world of difference even to have anonymous support. Such a nice thing of you to do and I want to tell you how much it means to me!
I'm biking rn. I was going to take off today, but I think it's more important that I stick to the schedule. I'm not doing a grueling workout by any means.
Other things I'm doing with great intention:
-Taking multivitamin daily
-Taking allergy meds daily for the first time ever
-Planning other small routines such as cooking breakfast on Saturday mornings bc it's cozy and makes everyone feel good
-going to a social event bc I know it'll make me feel better even though I'm scared. I'll keep in mind the "autopilot" thing another anon suggested.
It sounds like a lot of stuff to do but really after bike+breakfast+shower I do usual neet things such as lying in bed for hours and smoking weed all day. Baby steps. Be intentionally basic.
No. 478882
>>473687>people unironically shilling communism in 2019 are either trolling or absolutely braindead.I was saying thar communism was good for it's time. But both communism and capitalism have no place in 2019. They're both corpses of ideologies. Both rely on labour as the driving force, which is ridiculous in this age of smart machines. We need something fresh that takes into account the mindblowing technological advancements that occurred since both of these ideologies were formed. Hence I posted the critique of labour-oriented economy here
>>472242.
I also recommend reading "Player Piano" by Kurt Vonnegut. Maybe fiction will better drive my point across than a philosophical essay.
No. 479136
>>479124do you have a hobby? I'm not trying to be patronizing but as an adult i find it is really hard to make friends outside of work/activities. Even just a little bit of social stimulation from a group helps work on those skills.
when I was lonely in college I joined a foraging club and honestly nobody in the club and I became very close but working together to find stuff and just chatting was nice. kind of like renting friends. I pick activities I can skip without guilt though like clubs or community classes. I find if I feel guilty for skipping (like if i'm paying for it) I avoid it altogether because I get overwhelmed.
No. 479193
>>479164Ok rude question here, but how can you follow properly lectures/classes if you're deaf? This is a general question btw.
And you should take your vitamin D (I assume you already do this) and pack yourself really good with clothes if you want to avoid getting winter's depression.
Consider yourself highly privileged for being able to work at your step-dad's company tbh, because you're not really a NEET if you're employed btw.
No. 479493
>>479490nta but probably yes, you're right.
Housewives are even worse because they pretend to do something. lol
No. 480313
File: 1572888646406.jpg (311.61 KB, 1080x1254, IMG_20191104_182634.jpg)
Reading things like this make me question why I'm even alive.
Do you know this situation, when you got asked (in school or at interviews) to name x good things about yourself but you genuinely can't come up with anything? There's not a single positive or even just ok trait about me, not the way I look, not anything about my personality, not anything regarding talent or skills. Absolutely everything about me is less than mediocre.
No. 480344
>>480313lol you sound like me a couple of years ago. However, now I feel way different about myself. Just because you feel like you aren't good at anything doesn't mean it's necessarily true.
Also remember most people in this world aren't particularly good at anything and they do just fine. There are plenty of below average people.
No. 480386
>>480344But it's not just that I
feel like I'm not good, I
know it, it's a fact. I'm not doing fine, I'm failing at everything.
No. 480396
I am so close to being a neet. I've been in university for like 5 years, I was supposed to graduate in 2018 but here I am, not graduating until 2021, if I can make it through my second attempt of the second year. I have an assignment that is worth 15% of my final grade that isn't getting done.
My parents forced me to go to university and I was lead to believe that I would enjoy it more than secondary school, I would meet people who understand me, I would learn to become a better person of myself. I never wanted to go to university to begin with, but I have no balls to just move out of my parents house and struggle with a minimum wage job, potentially having to share a house with a bunch of strangers who will likely stress me out even more.
To add to that, I lied that I was going onto the the final year of uni, when in fact, I have to repeat two modules of the second year. I'm supposed to be moving abroad in April, but now I'm trapped in a lie that I have been stuck in for months all because I wanted to get them off my back. not that it helped because every interaction I have with them is them stressing me out about how I can't fuck up my final year or they will beat me.
I've been dealing with depression since I was 13-14. I've had some counselling and I am currently going through cbt that I don't feel like is helping me.
My problem is that I have spent much of my life feeling horribly lonely and struggled to form relationships with anybody. I've never had any friends beyond being 11 and I am a complete social failure. I can't fathom the idea of anybody thinking I am a worthwhile person or anybody would want to talk to me. I have constantly had people make fun of me for being socially awkward and ugly, things I already believed about myself to be negative without anybody telling me anything.
I have never been able to relate with anybody, or trust anybody with my feelings. I avoid social situations as much as I can because it stresses me out so much to be presenting such a disgusting and vile representation of myself to the world. I person I would like to be is nothing like myself, and is proven to be unattainable since it would require me to completely change my personality and get a crap ton of plastic surgery to achieve it. I have trouble accepting myself and being comfortable in my skin and it has completely ruined my life.
I want from being a student who got really good grades to some retard who can't even focus in lectures, be punctual, look after my appearance. I'm just an irredeemable piece of shit that's too pussy to end everything.
I know nobody will read this, but I just wanted to express myself since I have so few chances to do so.
No. 480697
>>480396I'm in the same sitation, anon. I take way too long to graduate (that is if I don't fail completely), I had very high hopes for university life and was more than just disappointed. I often think of just running away and working some simple, stress-free minimum wage job for the rest of my life.
I also don't have friends and I don't think that will change anytime soon, people are simply majorly put off by me for some reason. And due to my previous experiences I'm also always paranoid about people laughing about me.
I've read this quite often already on lc, that some farmers were really good students when they were younger and then just fail? No idea why, but just the thought of having to study or do shit makes me feel sad, I have zero motivation to do anything but eat and be online. Feels like I've wasted me entire youth.
I'm sorry that I can't give you any advice. I've tried to get better for years already but it only got worse and worse.
No. 480701
>>480396>>480697this sucks and I'm sorry you're both in this situation. university shouldn't be for everyone and there should be no shame at all in choosing not to go, or in choosing to wait and go in later life if your feelings change.
is there something you'd like to do better, like a training course or apprenticeship or something?
there's no shame in dropping out of something you hate to do something you want to do.
No. 480757
>>480396>>480697>>480745>>480713Now blame yourselves for being in that situation. Blame it on mental illness. Blame it on circumstance.
Just don't blame it on capitalism, because… stuff. If you question capitalism you must be a commie, and everybody hates commies. You're not a dirty commie, right? So capitalism rocks, and if your position in it sucks, it must be your fault, not capitalism's, right? Right. Everything is a-ok except you.
Now get yourself together and go make profit for some people you'll never meet while ruining our eco-system. That's the only way to earn a living and gain the respect of your parents and peers.
No. 480802
File: 1573016031882.png (65.59 KB, 382x395, 1456269280609.png)
How do you find motivation be vaguely normie after living the NEET life for so long? It's been years and I still have zero desire for anything other than staying at home. Working is just something I do to get a weekend alone where I can do nothing. It's only gotten worse and I miss being alone more every day.
No. 481823
>>481084NTAYRT but
>>480802>How do you find motivation… It's been years and I still have zero desire for anything other than staying at home&
>It just makes life feel unfulfilling… There's nothing to look forward to except going home and being aloneSound like conflicting statements.
It sounds like you've found motivation to be a normie/social– the desire to mitigate the emptiness you're feeling.
Unless I'm misunderstanding your posts! It also seems like you might be asking how to cope with the fact that you have to work/be social for most of your week in order to earn time alone.
Are you cool with being alone or no?
No. 482484
File: 1573521478807.jpg (24.28 KB, 567x320, 1528572037342.jpg)
currently missing my neet life
my insomnia is back too
starting to dread my job every day despite it being a job i always wanted to do
thinking of quitting
my mental went boom lmao hoping this shit ends soon and i sort myself out
No. 484627
File: 1574127361976.jpg (979.07 KB, 1080x1543, 20191118_202744.jpg)
Out of all my neet treats, pic related is my worst, I also can't keep any studies, I'm not good with people.
Any form of knowing if my psychologist is scamming me?
He said I should get medicated but didn't mention what I have. It's my 6th setion so far and all he said is that I'm under too much pain to even take the bus and that I need something to ease my thoughts.
>Inb4 why don't ask directly?
I'm not good with people
No. 484629
>>484627psicologists cant medicate people though, in that case you would be refered to a psychiatrist and he/she is the one who will asses you.
How do you know if you are not being wrongfully medicated or scammed by the psychiatrist? ah, thats the more difficult question, you have to inestigate very well each prescription you are given, if for example you are prescribed Xanax for more than a few days, get the fuck out. That actually happened to me once, shrink lied about the alprazolam and prescribed it to me for indefinite amount of time, luckily i didn´t follow through after researching, otherwise i would have been made a junkie by my fucking doctor.
No. 484650
>>484629Big thanks, that is my biggest fear (to get a bad prescription). Yes he mentioned to ask a college classmate about me, a psychiatrist.
The inb4 was a mistake, I redid my comment and forgot to erase that. The inb4 was "why don't you directly ask what he thinks you have to prescribe you something?"
No. 484655
>>484650Its very tricky when so much of psychiatry truly is shooting in the dark and hoping to hit something. It is not as developed as other sciences and it involves trial and error to find the best dosages, best treatments for your case. Educate yourself pretty well and it should be okay.
In the case of Xanax (alprazolam) like i said, be careful, shit is dangerous, it is a highly addictive depressor that changes your brain chemistry and becomes addictive super fast, the drug makes you feel like shit but the withdrawals from not taking it can literally even kill you. I was not only prescibed those for way longer than it needed to be but the dosage was super high too, scary stuff.
No. 484908
>>484855I know this is a joke but that shit was and still is wild to me. It
feels different. Life is so much richer. I can pull my head out of my ass and notice the world around me! Frontal lobe development: 11/10 would do again. Makes life worth living again, makes you feel like a child again!!! But not without introspection and hard realizations and changes.
No. 486052
>>485545Woops, forgot to sage my rage. Sorry!
I went back to work today and everything went OK even though my headset kept breaking in and out. Slowly crawling my way out of NEETdom!
>>485772Thanks for the advice anon! I'm curious what field you're in as well. Is it difficult as a woman?
No. 486437
File: 1574549300731.png (653.07 KB, 1280x720, Kanesan armpits.png)
>I was a no fun allowed nerd, know it all kid in high school and didn't make any friends>school was easy so I was able to graduate even without attending to classes>develop the habit of being late to every activity, with the belief that it will be OK, like missing classes in high school without consequences >college was hard because of this bad habit, depression and stunned social development so I end up dropping out>2 years a NEET to get a job at a call center which is 2 hours bus ride from home this lasted 3 months then i quit, fuck this customer service shit and commute>another 3 years as a shut in, feeling isolated with >tfw no bf feels all the time (Looking back, I think fondly of these years, regret nothing, perhaps not learning japanese)>at 22 I start counting calories with MFP and taking spironolactone for my acne, I became really really cute>get a job at another call center but this one is better because it is chats and is just 1 hour from home>get 2 close friends and have fun at work gossiping and talking>After 2 years I had to quit because I was getting burned out and my performance was bad>Get job at another call center which has better conditions and is even closer to my place, I felt like it will be the start to better times>a guy from new job asks me out and suddenly I'm roped into a relationship within 3 weeks of being there, we are a couple to everyone there,(other people comment how we are such a cute couple and shit)2 months into dating I find out he is married>Don't know what to feel, first boyfriend ever and this happens so I continue the relationship because I didn't have an ounce of character and self respect>after 1 month I quit job out of shame, but stayed with the guy (I suspect he has BPD and I can confirm he is a soulless bastard)>get another job at a bank doing collections (great place, only 4 hours shift with better pay than others, I'm actually good at it get first place in performance most of the months)>after about a year shit hits the fan when this guy out of the blue decides to tell his wife (who is a bigger doormat than I am because she was the breadwinner in the relationship, yes, when I quit he did as well to work at my place but he only lasted 4 months, the rest of the year he was a NEET with wife support) he tells her that he is dating me and asks for divorce, this guy is monkey branching thinking that I'm willing to support him>he senses my surprise, doubt and the next day of the confession he backpedals goes back to his wife and ghosts me without any explanation, I'm left feeling worried (because he told me he wanted to kill himself the day before)rejected, abandoned, bamboozled, humiliated, angry etc. >Manage life with deep pain and sorrow for 9 months, then he comes back full force, with lame shit that I know he has tried on other girls (I hacked his accounts) I reluctantly take him back because of his manipulations but also because I wanted an explanation, retribution, something. I was just spineless and fresh to the human interactions thing. >¨date¨ officially for 3 months, 3 months of him being clingy as fuck, possessive, he introduced me to his mom, being a drama queen, wanted to live together; I gained 5kg, my acne came back because I stopped taking spiro (my blood pressure was off due to stress, I passed out in one occasion)>he sees my state and nopes out, ends the relationship angrily because I didn't want to move in with him, which was great, I actually did want to break up but was afraid he would pour acid on my face or something>I feel numb, I'm not feeling my feels so I'm more tired everyday, sleep a lot, 70% of my adherence is sick leave the rest is tardiness. >I'm not able to process this fact; in my head this will all be OK just like it did in high school>well no, and then I get sackedI lost my job in April this year, for the past 8 months, I've been sleeping like 12 hours everyday, I shower once a week, I brush my teeth like every 3 days or so, I gained 10kg, but my acne is cleared because I started spiro again, tho.
What's funny is that I don't feel sad, perhaps I'm still numb, sometimes I feel like I'm not in my body, that it doesn't belong to me, I lost control, I can't to move it out of bed sometimes. But ever since the break up, I haven't cried, is like, I knew this was going to happen. I only cried the day I lost my job.
Today was a good day, I got up at 6:00 am, I counted calories and took 1 hour of sun for the first time in like 2 months.
I did research, I looked up the steps to maintain every system in the body healthy.
I'm starting with the skeletal system, daily habits to keep it healthy are, minerals, vitamins, sunshine and exercise, these are all proven to also raise serotonin and other feel good chemicals so I have some chances to cure my depression without giving my hard earned call center money to a psychologist.
I'm feeling hopeful, I watched Kuroko no Basuke and I remembered how sweet it is 2D, it also got me hyped. I will get hot again for my husbando and I will get a job to live and to buy wholesome husbando merch. I also want to learn japanese to be able to understand drama CDs and fully enjoy untranslated games like Ensemble Stars, I love idolshit, both 3D and 2D, I want to travel to Japan to see live shows from my favorite chika idols.
After all this time in call center, I'm confident into doing a good job, I'm actually eager to get a job and meet new people, I want to get girl-friends to roller skate, go on bike rides, visit tea places and cafes. I'm sure these kind of girls exist. I just need to lose weight before, I'm giving myself 2 months.(I can't leave the house being a fatty)
I wrote a schedule to keep the apartment clean and tidy for the month doing small tasks every day.
I also got a contact for mushroom farming classes, mushrooms are expensive and rare in my country and from what I have seen so far they are really easy to grow.
All this is in paper, I just need enough willpower to do it, that and control the time I spend online. The simplest job is the hardest.
I also need some kind of degree ASAP, I think(hope not) my country will fall to some kind of political uprising soon and/or the currency will be devaluated severely. I might need to immigrate or slave to live, send me good energies please.
>>472403Don't feel too nervous or inferior when talking to other people, even if they have different lives they also have insecurities; when I started socializing after being a NEET for 4 years people thought I was shy, aloof or stuck up, they never thought I was immature (or that is what I want to believe lol) in the end it doesn't matter, they live their lives and forget most interactions also opinions on people change over time.
Please be careful about the ¨love¨ thing, be mindful of your boundaries and don't try to please people just to make them like you, right now you are naive and you are letting the whole KV make you feel like a freak undeserving of love when is not the case, men sense this and they will try to take advantage of you (they wont care if you you are a KV, if you can offer company, please them or stroke their ego, they wont care). It really hurts to have your heart broken, be prepared.
No. 486440
File: 1574549701958.jpg (335.67 KB, 1332x1332, feelings-wheel.jpg)
>>486437Shit what an annoying wall of text, I hope someone can read it.
I wanted to add this tip. Since I'm bad at registering my feelings I grabbed this wheel of feelings.
When I get intrusive thoughts, I look at the wheel to see the one that matches, then I will know what I'm feeling and google how to process said feeling.
I also look at the antonym word of the feeling and see how and what I can do to feel the opposite.
It worked like a charm to get over the fact that the guy I was with started dating immediately after dumping me.
No. 486487
File: 1574563770964.jpg (767.47 KB, 2976x2387, 1566340295170.jpg)
Is there anyone else that plunged into NEETdom after a long time of being "normal"? I used to be a pretty ok 3 years ago, but then i got hit with an extremely bad bout of depression and anxiety due to suffering harassment at the hands of an abusive figure. Since then, i haven't felt the same amount of motivation or will to live. I feel like I'm a completely different person that can't adhere to deadlines, jobs or anything else. I think the best way i can describe it is like running at the speed of a train, but getting hit with a sack of bricks by a completely random person. Your face is completely shattered, but you're left to pick up the pieces.
How do you cope with self-sabotaging yourself? I constantly find myself unable to get things done because of the extreme shame from having fallen from grace, I'm overwhelmed with feelings of "what gives" and of never being able to achieve normality again. It feels like everything is a reminder of how much you've been downgraded. My life has been a complete and utter standstill for about 3 years, and I'm just tired. I don't want to be a NEET anymore, but it feels as if there's something inside me pulling me away.
No. 486537
>>474915I can relate to this
>dropped out of public school in middle school for online classes>gained over 100 pounds in 5 years>no drivers license While I've done some things to improve myself over the past year or so. I've lost 40 pounds and got my permit last month.
Upcoming 2 year anniversary with bf. Gone to Europe 2 times in past year to see said boyfriend leaving country for the first time ever. Trying to do some money online.
I'm a few classes away from graduating with my associates. But can't make the effort because would have to move from online classes to moving to in person classes which are two hours away.
So I would have to move there for a semester.
I dunno if I should waste more student loan debt for something I might not even use. I'm scared to have a job as I tried doing a call center back in 2017 but quit after 3 days. I'm stuck in a rural area that needs a car.
No. 490748
>>490735Work in school, think about what you want to do with your life, plan ahead. Socialize with your peers and teachers if they're worth it, stay out of drama. Try new things, stay curious. You'll be fine if you limit your screen time.
And enjoy your ban.
No. 490798
For prior context, this is my post
>>472195I'm thinking about applying for college again next year. 2020 will be five years since I last tried going. Would it be dumb to study theatre? I don't really care about my ~career I just need to do something with my life and I figure I might as well do something enjoyable while trying to ascend to normiehood. College is cheap or free where I live and I think I'm entitled to the free tier. Plus, it's something that involves working and interacting closely with other people so I think it could be therapeutic and confidence building in a way that business or psychology wouldn't. I don't care if I end up waitressing or whatever after I graduate, I just want to be able to interact with people without fear.
>>490735idk if you're still lurking underage b&-chan but get a part time job. That's the thing I regret not doing the most about my teen years. Everyone I know who is a well adjusted, stable late 20s - early 30s adult worked after school or during summer break, even if they didn't do well in school.
No. 490972
>>490854I was in the same situation, anon, except it took me til I was 23 to get my shit together. Honestly, a more relaxed college environment might be really good - especially if you're pursuing a field where it's not necessarily about academic standing but mostly about practical skills you learn, like communication. Less stress makes it easier to stick to things!
You're also probably still going to be one of the younger people in your classes, as well. A lot of people can't afford to go to post secondary until later in life, or like you they're on their second or more time trying the college thing out.
It can be super discouraging to feel like you're behind the rest of the people you know, but what matters is that you have a plan and are getting things on track now. Look at your personal improvements and don't compare yourself to others so hard.
You'll hit 25 and realize that you're still a baby at 20 and that you were fretting over nothing. I believe in you, anon!
No. 492913
Technically this belongs in the advice thread, but I feel like people here would understand my problem better:
Last year I spent New Year's Eve driving around for hours (hoping I wouldn't die in an accident due to bad weather), because I neither had anybody to spend the evening with nor was I able to stay at home because I can't have my parents know just how big of a loser I am.
Last weekend I met up with old friends and one of them asked me, whether I want to come to her house on NYE. Sounds good at first, right?
But the only people I know will be her and another friend of ours. The other guests are that friend's old af bf whom I only met once and a few "buddies" of the host. I have really bad social anxiety, I absolutely hate having to be around strangers, I'm so awkward, I absolutely can't talk to people - expecially if they're men. To make it worse, another friend revealed to me that my friend is actually fucking one of her buddies, so now I'm super scared that once everybody is drunk and the clock strikes midnight both of my friends will just make out with their men and I will be sitting there with nobody to talk to.
Plus, her house is more than 2 hours away, meaning I would have to sleep there and couldn't just leave whenever I wanted.
What should I do? I know that I need to do stuff like this to practice being more socially active, but I feel sick just thinking about it. No matter how hard I try, I always have a rbf and can't open my mouth for the love of god… And it's not like I made any friends whenever I forced myself to socialize either (especially seeing how far away that party is), I would be basically suffering for nothing. I really tried in the past, but despite of what people told me, I absolutely never enjoyed myself when going out or at parties, I'm always only waiting for it to be over.
I hate this so much, the fact that I'm always scared of what to do on NYE keeps ruining Christmas for me, for the past 8 years already. I can't wait for when I have my own place and can just stay in.
No. 492961
>>492931It sounds like not having friends causes you to feel a lot of shame and pain but please know that it's not inherently shameful. Also, you're not pathetic, you just seem lost which just happens to a lot of people. I don't know what causes you to put yourself down like that but you're fine, okay? You seem to have some demons and try really hard, too hard to please your parents and/or some figment of really fixed, unforgiving, harsh expectations. I'm sure there are reasons for this but
fuck your social life doesn't affect them and concern them
this much. You're more concerned with their opinion of you or their reaction than your own well-being. That's a red flag.
If it's a two hour drive and you're gonna feel trapped staying the night, don't go. Thank your old friend for the invitation and tell her you can't make it. Maybe even go as far as explaining why. These are just ideas and recommondations. You could say: I'd love to come and thank you so much for the invitation, it really means a lot but staying at an unfamiliar place all night would be very stressful and hard for me at the moment. I thought long and hard about it but I find it's best for me to skip this time. But I was really happy about your invitation. Or just say that sadly you can't make it but that you really tried (because you did) and that it means a lot. Or something in a similar vein if that helps.
It's healthy to wish for friendships and for improvement of struggles. But beating yourself up over it doesn't help. That's not healthy and most importantly, you don't deserve it! You deserve to be treated fairly with respect and patience and positivity.
>>492943pulling the sick card is perfectly fine and enough explanation. good call.
Even parental worrying can become overbearing and bad at some point even if the intent is well-meaning. Should your parents put you down about it or tease you or be overly disappointed in you and make you feel guilty, please view their behavior more critically.
Don't give up, I believe in you, anon.
No. 494268
>>493763NTAYRT but she's right. The only way to overcome it is to put yourself into social situations. However a party sounds like it'd be too much for you right now and you are completely justified in not wanting to go. I think it's great you rekindled an old friendship and you can just hang out with her some other time!
I also agree with the other anons and you should just play the sick card with your parents. If they pry, just be upfront and say you were invited but you feel unwell. Technically, it really isn't even lying lol.
(Sorry if you weren't looking for anymore input on this!!)
No. 499881
File: 1577841241467.jpg (41.98 KB, 583x509, 1536828560402.jpg)
Here's to a productive 2020 anons! May all our neet recovery related resolutions go according to plan!
>>499831You can do it!
>>492913This thread got bumped on NYE and I remembered your post. What did you end up doing out of curiosity? Hope you're doing okay.
No. 500033
>>499881Thank you for asking, anon! (tho I planned to do an "update" anyway lol)
I went because I knew that I just had to, but I'm so glad it's over.
Beforehand I was so scared that my entire body was shaking. My friend's friends were nice, so it was okay, but nevertheless I was just sitting around silently, because I just have no idea how to contribute to conversations. We played some drinking game nearly the entire evening, about which dirty things we've done already, so of course I had to lie constantly to not out myself as the virgin loser I really am.
When some of the guests left and only the ones who wanted to sleep over stayed, I also noticed that my friend's secret fuckbuddy wasn't leaving either - despite stating so earlier. Problem was, I was sleeping in my friend's room, which wasn't connected to the floor itself. Instead you had to walk through another bedroom, the one she took for that night. So, when everybody else went to bed and that guy was still around, I just knew that they would sleep in that room together. And I was right, since her house is very old, so I could clearly hear his voice from that room. I didn't hear any sex noises, but you can never know…
When I woke up early in the morning I had to pee, but obviously also didn't want to enter the room they slept in, so instead I laid awake for 3 hours…
Does my friend think I'm dumb enough to not notice the way they look at each other, that he tries to touch her, that I could hear them? Or did she want me to find out that way? I'm also a little hurt that she repeatedly lied about not dating him. If you fuck him, then he's not just your bestie like you always claim.
After breakfast they also cuddled a little. It was just them and another couple left, I felt so uncomfortable, I just wanted to leave (and finally could, after another 2 hours of awkwardness).
I guess my wish for 2020 is to lose weight and become attractive enough to find a kind bf through online dating or apps, so that I can just leech off him when it comes to friends. My dream was always to find good and reliable female friends, but it seems that this is impossible. All the girls I met always put guys before friends. Maybe it's because I live in a very rural area, but I got the impression that it's more common in bigger cities to still be single in your 20s and to also do things without your partner. I feel like I've been third wheeling since I was just 16.
No. 500035
>>500033Samefag, but maybe to clarify a little bit: I've been writing "friend" the entire time, so you might wonder why I post in the neet thread:
I saw this girl 5 times this year, but before that we didn't see each other 2 years in a row.
And it's the same with all my other friends too. I don't have many to begin with (zero in university), and I see them usually only once (or less) per year, meaning that the past years I sometimes went out as little as one time per year, meaning despite technically having "friends" I still feel very lonely. All of them have other friends and/or live far away, so I'm definitely far from their number one priority. I only sometimes text them, what they're doing and sometimes they just stop replying after a while, so it's not like I really have somebody to talk with about my problems. I also haven't seen my former best friend in 2 years and she didn't even bother telling me that she went to study abroad.
No. 500105
>>500064i wish you the best of luck anon! 'grats on being not only the youngest in your family to pursue higher education, but also the first woman!
don't listen to your family. i'm not gonna shit on them bc they obviously didn't get the chance to aim higher so it's somewhat understandable that they're so close-minded and judgemental, but their backwards thinking shouldn't bring you down, esp your mother. the fact that you're getting the chance to do this at all proves you've got what it takes. don't pressure yourself; college is hard for everyone and you don't need to be some superwoman.
you're built for more than just being a housewife and serving a man. even if that's what you end up choosing after you get your degree, it's still
YOUR choice anon. good luck in college!! i hope you do amazingly.
No. 500238
>>500106Is that sarcasm…?
Doing that is simply my only option or hope at this point.
No. 500539
>>500033It's okay to say no to things. You had genuine good reasons not to go to this event. That's okay. But you did go, and you now you can use it as a learning experience. Recovering from neetdom doesn't mean you need to unnecessarily put yourself through things you find unpleasant or become a normie. For me, it means that I want to become functional, self sufficient and able to interact with the outside world. I'm so extremely introverted that I know I would be unhappy with a full on normie lifestyle but I don't want to stagnate in my childhood bedroom until I die either.
Like, when you needed to pee for instance; even if they were having sex, and you walked in on them, so what? You couldn't avoid going through the room. It wouldn't have been your fault and I doubt anyone would have been mad at you. Embarrassed maybe, but not mad. Especially if the room was quiet like you say. And if you had walked in on them it would have been be a funny story you could tell during a drinking game or something in the future and it would be something that really happened.
Being a neet doesn't mean you can't have friends, it just means you aren't in education, employment or training. a lot of adults only see some friends a few times a year or even less, especially if they live a few hours away. they aren't "close" friends and that's okay but that doesn't mean the relationship isn't important. I get that you want closer friends, but don't neglect this friendship. Try and do something together in 2020 at some point. I had non close friendships that I let slip because I was ashamed of my pathetic life and now I have no one to text or hang out with at all.
I also don't think finding a bf to leech off of is a good idea. girls in our position are vulnerable. A lot of the men who would date someone like us probably like the idea of someone who is sort of helpless relying on them and would take advantage of that. I think developing yourself and getting fit is a great idea, but don't do it to get a bf, do it for yourself. I'm not saying stay celibate forever but be careful. Is bumble popular where you live? That has a function for finding female friends. I think that might a good idea for you. I hope 2020 is good for you anon.
No. 500711
>>500595So you applied to be a bullet buffer for your country that didn’t support you with mental health up to this point and fell pray to a human pound
Congrats
No. 500804
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>>500790>>500595(If American): Do you enjoy being a pawn in the games of rich war profiteers like Dick Cheney? You could get your legs blown off so shareholders in Haliburton get a bigger dividend.
The reason why the benefits are so great is because the job is garbage.
No. 500806
>>500595See
>>500709Even if you won't be killing babies directly you'll still be providing support for those that do.
No. 500820
>>500595going to basic training for the army broke my neetdom cycle. I didn't wind up graduating but I finally got a normal job when I got back. plus I was in the best shape of my life.
people are replying "reeee fuck the military" and they're right but you also probably aren't in the mindset to give a shit. I know I wasn't. Good luck anon, I hope you don't wind up regretting it. Sign the shortest contract they'll give you and make sure you accept the GI bill when they offer it to you. save every penny of your money.
No. 501008
I was the military anon and wow, didn't expect so many replies lol.
I'm leaning towards intelligence. Not joining the marines nor doing combat
>>500800 >>500790
>>500820 Most likely gonna sign a 6year contract because I wanna be a linguist. I appreciate your advice. I can't really see myself doing anything else right now.
No. 501181
>>500804>>500807Unless you are in combat, it is unlikely you'll suffer any of the things you just mentioned.
Rape is a possibility, but I've already been raped as a civilian twice, and if I needed to get out of the house immediately, the military would be one of the fastest options. Not all of us qualify for other programs.
No. 501391
I've been a neet for over 2 years. I used to work for my Aunt as a receptionist, but she downsized her business and didn't need me anymore. I have a bachelor of science in human resource development, a previous HR internship and two other previous office jobs. My resume is polished and I've been through coaching with multiple recruiters and my old college's career services center. I am a 25 year old woman with no social media, no IRL friends and bad social skills. I have been trying really hard, lately, though. My Aunt is even letting me lie about still working for her to hopefully make my resume look more attractive to prospective employers, but it isn't going well. I am GREAT at getting the initial interview for the jobs I am applying for (data entry, hr internship/hr assistant, telemarketing) but once I get past the phone screen and they get to know me I am rejected, even if I am overqualified for the position on paper. I think it is my personality. I am bad at projecting confident body language and seeming like a good candidate. I project the image of a stupid, uncertain woman that would be a pain to have around. The funny thing is that I briefly worked at a place that taught job-seeking strategies and interview etiquette to people with autism and even helped teach the class and mentor them. But I can't even get a job, myself. It's like I know everything on paper that I am supposed to do but in practice I just fail. I just feel really bad lately and hopeless. It's like I was on this upward escalator to getting an ok-job and being normal but then I graduated and my internship ended and my life was over. I spend all day applying to jobs I will never get, talking to people on a shutin discord server and drinking. I honestly hate my life
No. 501885
>>501642I'm a neet because I'm mentally ill. My parents are working class and hate my guts -partially because I'm a disappointment and a leech, partially because they've always been
abusive to the point that hating me has been their default setting since I was a baby. I don't enjoy gaming or watching tv that much, I only take part in them because they're low investment hobbies I can do from my bedroom. I face stress and worry about my future and my physical/mental health on a daily basis. I have no friends, have never had a romantic relationship and am extremely lonely. I turn 30 this year and suicide is looking more and more tempting with every day. It's shit.
No. 501963
>>501885Holy shit I can relate and I'm only 19,I never had friends,currently jobless,regularly cynical and depressed,verbally
abusive dad who wants me dead, whole family doesn't give a shit about me due to my inevitable tbi I had as a baby which makes me function differently than other people doesn't help that I'm the only introvert in my family
No. 502037
(Mostly) recovered NEET, now a first year uni student at 23 (dropped out first time around after a mental breakdown, spent some years NEETing, in a drugged haze and doing part time work).
Problem is, I'm still a virgin I feel like I lost the time I should have been getting relationship experience to NEETdom and depression, and I feel hopelessly immature in that area and feel so ashamed. I'm not looking for anything major, just some experience, a casual relationship.
I'm having a lot trouble finding people I'd be open to dating, because most men around me are 4/5 years younger. I've made some friends around my age, but no one I'm the slightest bit attracted to. I don't want to try online dating, because I can't tell I'm attracted to someone without meeting them in person. Not into clubbing either.
Any ex-NEETS have a similar story? Tips on just getting out there and meeting people?
No. 502039
>>501885You need a change to your routine, something that will get you out of the house on a regular basis, but not TOO shocking a change that you can't cope - having nothing to do all day is poison and it's so hard to lift yourself out of that state.
Volunteer work maybe? Is there any government help you could get, training courses you could go on?
No. 502047
>>501642Because normal people with a conscience and a sense of shame would feel guilty and embarassed leeching off their parents without even attempting to become independent.
The NEET life is my dream, I just call it early retirement because I plan to pay for it myself.
No. 502093
>>502079That sucks anon.
I'm poor as shit, but haven't been depressed for almost 2 years now - I'm the person you're replying to, so I'm romantically in the same place (well, I've BEEN kissed, but not by anyone I'd want), and it worries me, but overall I'm genuinely happy.
Do you work out? Running was a big part of the key to getting out of depression. I was bordering a BMI of 30 when I started, and while it certainly helped my physical health, the mental health benefit to my mood was the bigger positive.
Literally just this morning, I was feeling awful (PMS + external stress factors piled up), and while I'm supposed to be revising for exams, I have nothing scheduled I have to show up for, so I was very tempted for the first time in ages to go back to old bad habits and spend the day basically browsing the internet in bed. Instead, I dragged myself to go for a run instead, instantly felt in a good mood after. Doesn't have to be running, just something that gives you that endorphin boost.
That's the difference between being depressed and not - the facts of your situation can be the same, the problems can be the same, but when you're depressed you just see things differently. Things that I can brush off now paralysed me when depressed. I used to want to hide in my room or end it with every setback, now my immediate response is "how can I deal with this?"
And depression fucks with your head, you forget that it's not normal to feel like shit, you forget what it's like to not just want it to end - so remember that whatever you feel right now, you may not get what you want, but as long as you're alive it's possible to be happy overall.
No. 502282
>>501986>>501963>>501965>>502039thanks for the commiserations and advice kind anons. I'm going to be stuck at my parents' house for at least another year so I need to come up with something to keep me sane. I'm thinking of going to my country's equivalent of community college to study an old hobby but that won't start up until late august. Getting back into volunteering was one of my resolutions this year. I did it before and found it a little overwhelming but I was in school full time back then. I've been thinking about becoming a rape crisis volunteer, but given my own issues that might be more of a long term goal. Maybe something with kids would be a better fit. There are actually a lot of volunteering opportunities where I live because the economy is so shit lmao.
>>502148you should see if there's somewhere near you where you can volunteer with animals anon! At the place I used to volunteer there was a girl who came in 30 hours a week and they eventually just gave her a paid job. It would be something in your area of interest to go on your resume at least. I know of people who made up fake old jobs and had a friend or family member with a different last name as a reference. My work history is extremely spotty to say the least, but I have good references from volunteering that will be useful if I recover enough to work again.
No. 503247
>>503204Ok I'm not sure how college works in the US but is it possible for you to do an internship before/after you graduate ? You didn't mention it so I assume you never did one. It looks like you need the work experience more than the money so you can do an unpaid internship (easier to be hired) in your field of study and if you're really lucky they'll keep you, if not it's still experience.
If you can't do an internship, try to do more volunteer work before you graduate.
Be prepared to answer in an interview why you didn't work before. Lots of people were in the same situation as you, search online you'll probably find a good answer. Make something up if you have to.
Either way, it's going to be difficult without a car but not impossible ! I know right now everything is stressful but you'll make it anon I'm rooting for you
No. 503268
>>503247Once I transfer to a 4-year university internships will be possible and I'll 100% look into them.
Thank you so very much for your reply, it was very helpful and encouraging!
No. 503369
>>503204Look at places within walking distance and apply to them first. An hour of walking there and an hour of walking back actually isn't as bad as it sounds, especially if you listen to some music or something while you walk.
>entry level jobs pay nothingHaving no job pays nothing, so if entry level is what you can get, take it. Everybody starts somewhere and most of us start off somewhere shit. After my degree, I ended up working retail for nine months. Some money is better than no money and, when you have zero experience, beggars can't be choosers.
When people ask why you haven't worked, say "I was working on my education and was lucky enough to be able to focus on my studies, but now I'm ready to dive into the practical side of things in a professional working environment." It shuts down further questioning, shows you want to work and it shows confidence because you're showing that you're aware it's not the norm but that you don't think it'll set you back. If you answer in a nervous or embarrassed way, it'll rub off on the interviewers and they'll see it as an embarrassing thing.
Compile excellent references. Any teachers that are pleased with your work, any family friends in professional careers, any fellow volunteers. Ask them for a written reference. Photocopy and have these on hand for interviews. A file of people that believe in you can do wonders.
No. 503399
>>503257I understand your frustration but speaking from my own experience taking time of school for me made my depression worse and now I don't think I'll ever be able to re-enroll and it feels bad man.
Are you seeking tutoring or speaking to your professor?
No. 520276
>>520217NTA, but there are a lot of different things you could say, depending on the skills you want to highlight. I'd put emphasis on organization and attention to detail, like managing schedules, helping to write out checks/pay bills, etc. You probably do a lot of those things anyway.
If you don't have work experience, it's not a bad idea to embellish, especially if your parents will be a reference for you. Restaurant/retail jobs might not even check your references, but it does look better to have some kind of experience doing something.
No. 533092
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No. 533643
>>533639Neet stands for Not in Education, Employment, or Training.
You're in education and employed, so no you're not a neet.
No. 533644
File: 1585473778652.png (1.01 MB, 615x763, 1DFF4645-3D5C-4D6B-9E1D-526655…)
I MISS BEING NEET. Quarantine has been TOO COMFY. I want to relapse so fucking bad!!! The thought of soon I’ll have to drag my ass into the office be fake all day fills me with selfYEET feelings.
No. 535283
>>480313wow this is a really old post but i'm the anon who wrote the post you screenshotted …to be honest most days i feel bad about myself and i wrote those things as an exercise to see if i could change the way i think. probably due to lasting affects of abuse and neglect from self and others.
90% of the time i feel like a wolf in sheep's clothing around normies and am scared that i will be found out or someone will bring up my past where i was a mentally ill loser who even ended up in hospital by end of high school. and i spent a lot of time at uni alone studying so that's why i got good grades..
i just kept going each day and then one day i realized i got a life i could have never imagined as a child. i was just surviving for so long but only as of this year (23) do i finally feel alive. i even got into my master's program with a scholarship!
sorry if this was cringe or unhelpful but i just want to let you know you should keep putting one foot in front of the other. i had a rule called "no zero days" where i pushed myself to never let a day pass without doing something productive. and then you end up doing like 2,3,4,5,even 10 productive things. we believe in you!
No. 559749
>>555002also sorry for a late response but I was starting college this year at 22. of course because of corona my first semester was cancelled and I was only able to attend for like, a month (also, obviously, i'm not american).
it wasn't half as nerve wrecking as I thought it would be, there were a considerable amount of people older than me in my classes (the majority was still straight out high school tho). I did get a lot of questions about my age, but nothing too judgmental. It's hard not to feel inferior about the fact that I wasted 4 years of my life stuck in my room in a depressive episode but college will make you so busy you probably won't have much time to thought spiral about it, so definetly try doing it, anon!
No. 564716
>>559749holy shit anon are you me? 22yo and starting university again but then covid hit
i guess I'm lucky that most of my school work is computer based anyway so i can keep going with school
good on you though, just a shame covid shit on our plans to get out and do stuff
No. 568529
>>568513Go to trade school then, surely your parents will like it mor than you’re sitting on your ass all day wasting rice
> literally can’t get a job as a waitress or whatever because everything like that was nepotistic before Covid and now 70% of those business are expected to experience downturnDon’t know why you have this impression, comes off like an excuse to not try tbh
Sorry to say but a job is a job and a lot of time it is mind numbing, most of us don’t have a job we’re good at and love, let that go. You have to decide whether you want to move out and become independent enough to do what needs to be done. Or you can continue to wallow in learned helplessness.
No. 568538
>>568529Yes anon they have told me they would prefer I sit in my ass all day then embarrass them by getting a “low class” job. This has been our underlying dynamic since I can remember. Maintaining their image is as a “upper class” family is single most important thing I can do.
I tried doing that “pull yourself by bootstraps” attitude and going to like 15 diff bars/restaurants pre covid and they told me they don’t hire anyone w/o experience and don’t want to train, all the people I know who have similar jobs were hired by a friend. Everything is corrupt in some sense. Even half the time the education is just a scam like those stupid coding bootcamps that were so popular 2-3 years ago. I kind of hope the recession just causes the whole rotting edifice to collapse on itself.
No. 568728
>>568658I can’t tell if this a joke. Where the fuck do you live tf. Restaurants bars and fast food and coffee houses always looking to hire here. The only exception is family run mom and pops spots where the staff stays more or less the same for years.
Covid is making grocery stores scramble for temp hires. At most I’ve seen is “1-2 years of experience preferred” for retail but they don’t really mean that. Anyway, I’ve applied for plenty of jobs I had no exp in and got them anyway. Shoot your shots ya damn NEEts.
No. 569881
>>569354>socially awkward and really ugly?yep
I got my first job a few months ago and its one of the few jobs on earth where I dont even have to utter a single word all day and dress code is non existent. Im also surrounded by boomers so no young men to talk shit to me. Hell, I dont even make eye contact with anyone most days. Im feeling great lately, image wise.
No. 569926
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>>569902>>569904>>569901data entry for the government
monotonous but very stress free
No. 569951
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>>569926I envy yourt cushy job so much.
I just quit my job because it was too much stress and I'm so afraid I will fall back into neetdom at 30 after 3 years clawinf myself out.
No. 570342
>>569951it is stress free but its also low pay
although if you can budget well its not a big deal
No. 570758
File: 1592242487795.gif (41.16 KB, 220x165, A8BB832A-5613-4F4B-B824-952F8B…)
Guys I’ll never be able to escape NEETdom. All I do every single day is clean my family’s mess. My parents work all day and are stressed. My siblings are lazy peices of shit. And my grandma who lives with us is supposed to cook and clean, BUT NEVER DOES. I do it all and am never thanked. I’m so exhausted. I entertained the thought of going to college, but if I don’t clean and take care of my mom nobody else will. WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? It’s just so unfair that I’ve essentially been stuck here for FIVE YEARS because everyone else is lazy. I want a life! I want friends! But everyone else’s needs have to come before mine. It’s unfair I didn’t sign up for this. I don’t mind cleaning up after my parents since they took care of me and haven’t kicked me out. But thinking of having to juggle school work on top of cleaning everyone else’s mess it makes me feel exhausted. I can’t do it all. I lowkey feel like I am being encouraged to stay being a NEET by my mother bc she knows if I’m not around no one will cook food for her or keep the house in order. I feel like the only way I can escape is by kms, but I can’t.
No. 571854
>>571830I didn't know it was a thing til I saw it on here. I've seen a couple of anons freak out after the break up of those relationships. Shit like the guy giving them a few months to get their shit together and move out but them just hanging on there because they have no job and little motivation to get one.
The nicer the bf is in letting them stay there rent free (after the breakup) the more they just stagnate and act like they can hang on forever. In one way I feel for them and in another way you want to shake them into action.
No. 572048
>>564487 anon here.
im going to commit suicide tonight.
im just tired of being worthless and feeling stupid because of my autism
No. 572058
>>572048Please don’t! Trust me if this is the worst pain you can possibly be in emotionally then it’s only going to get better. If you take your own life there’s no chance of that happening, I know things can get really tough. Your autism means that you’re way more creative and artistic than most so try and explore that path.
Please anon don’t do it, it does get better and never ever think you are stupid or worthless. You are most certainly not. My thoughts are with you anon, you are loved.
No. 572061
>>572048Anon, don’t. Please. You're being so hard on yourself. It’s difficult to carry on while in pain, but think about who will suffer without you here.
Don’t give up. Apply for those winter classes. Make a tiny positive change in your diet. Go for walks. You deserve to feel happy, don’t rob that from yourself. It might take a while, but it will come.
Please try to talk to someone if you can tonight.
No. 572197
>>572048Life is more than your town or your career. Some people have more difficult starts in life but that does not mean you're limited. We have to find what we want and get it, and once we do it will feel so much better. I believe in you.
And if you really do wanna commit suicide, you may as well try for a month to live a happy life and get out of your situation and see how it goes. But life does get better.
No. 572233
>>572232quote didnt work (im assuming its because its on g. I feel dumb)
my discord is potato.#9829
saged
No. 572248
>>472051>>572071I’m so happy to hear that you didn’t go through with it. I’ve suffered from those thoughts in the past and the minute I opened up to someone that I trusted i felt much better. A problem shared is a problem halved.
I hope you start to feel better anon, there’s much much more to life that you just haven’t come across yet and the pandemic isn’t making things any easier. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you seem like a lovely person!
No. 575471
Ever since COVID, my anxiety and paranoia have increased to the point that I can't go outside unless I'm with my SO. I was doing really well the beginning of this year, I had a full time job (super shitty, stressful, and toxic work environment; had to quit), I walked to restaurants, stores, bus stops, etc by alone without freaking out too much. Then came COVID, then the protests and riots and violence, and I don't want to ever leave my room. I know I'll feel better if I go outside but the world just feels evil and I feel safer in my cocoon.
No. 596248
>>533638I’m now broke and still jobless , I haven’t gotten my employment benefits for two months and my financial aid reimbursements won’t come until September.
On the other hand, I’m back in school!
No. 596499
>>472315I feel sorry for you anon. I don't know your life and your struggles like you do, but if your previous aspirations failed you, then consider finding a new purpose. Maybe you were right that we can't escape fate, but your certainty in your future misfortune is disturbing. Do something about. Even if you can't succeed in the way others succeed you are not a failure, because you are yourself(not others), so respect yourself by living in a way that reflects that. You have to conquer those obstacles that are unique to yourself, but don't make yourself your own enemy by seeing yourself as an immovable obstacle.
And honestly I think you are more free than the people who bullied you. You will never have that misdeed to live with, and you have the incredible opportunity to justly defend yourself. More life points for u. :)
In the future please stand up for yourself even if you look like a fool, even against an overpowering enemy. If it is any help remember you have nothing to lose,so know that you can only gain respect by protecting yourself from assault verbal/physical. If you show confidence that you have something worth protecting, people will at least hesitate to hurt you in the future. Whatever you do, don't end your life. I don't encourage violence against others, (mainly cause I don't want jail time,) but if society is causing you pain don't help society by destroying yourself. Redirect your destructive energies elsewhere. If others truly have the power/will to end your life then they would have done it, but they haven't and so they obviously can't, or don't want to. There is no one to fear. Stop looking towards society and it's physical appeals for direction and purpose.
If you want fulfillment don't equate it with success to begin with. We all fail, but people who are grounded in themselves don't need to be given anything,pleasure or praise to reach enlightenment.
No. 599767
Ok, I need some advice FAST. My sister and I are soon moving out of our parents house in the shithole country to live in our shithole town. I haven't had a job since the beginning of the year, but I just can't hold down a job. If we lived in town, I'd be able to actually walk everywhere and be closer to the few jobs in town. I need this so bad. This would be so good for me, but I'm so afraid of quitting a week into the job again. How do I avoid this? I don't even want a job. I'm so depressed all the time from being a complete disappointment and waste of space in my family, but I've been in a rut for years. How the fuck am I supposed to JUST pull myself out?? This is far from easy but this apartment is all my sister is talking abut, I don't want to disappoint her because she can't afford it on her own. But I'm just so deathly afraid of quitting again. Shit's keeping me up at night and I can't sleep. What do I do? What would I do if no one in town even hires me? then what? I'm so scared anons, I just want to be free from this hell. I fucking hate being a NEET. But school gives me anxiety, jobs give me anxiety, taxes give me anxiety, being ALIVE gives me aniety. I'm stressing tf out and I don't know what to do anymore.
No. 599800
>>599767>I'm so afraid of quitting a week into the job again>I'm just so deathly afraid of quitting again.>I'm stressing tf out and I don't know what to do anymore.Try not quitting? I don't understand what your problem is.
> I don't even want a jobNobody "wants" to have a job, dipshit. That's why people aim for retirement. If I was your sister and you neglected to hold up your end of the agreement just because you didn't feel like working a job, and everything we planned for fell through because of that, I would be pissed as fuck at you.
You need to take a deep breath, put on your big girl pants, and quit holding pity parties for yourself over easily fixable problems.
No. 599827
>>599767I have anxiety/depression and personally for me having a job and routine responsibilities helps me feel less useless. Rn i'm broke and living at my parents since I can't find work and it sucks and having nothing to do puts me into a terrible mindset and worse depression.
Jobs are hard but you have to get used to it and you can maybe even find one that is a good escape from your worries in life. Its always hard in the beginning especially interviews and stuff but it's worth it for your independence.
No. 600342
File: 1596987785251.jpg (56.14 KB, 311x700, 1545009424014.jpg)
Right now I'm in a situation where I have every opportunity to get myself to be independent and confident again. I passed a job interview for a place that's only 10 minutes away and the owner is super friendly and chill. My car is now fixed where I can get back into driving again and my partner is helping me with it, I'm finally going to be able to balance my art/craft with having some stable income and job without feeling like I'm just a failed/broke artist. I don't want to go back faking to my family that I'm living just fine on art alone. I hate have to rely on my partner so much and being home all day just making shit that only sells once in a blue moon.
I'm so excited to feel like I'm worth it again, I'm just scared something bad will happen and I'll revert back because even when I do make money from my art, do chores and make food/dinner for everyone in my household, I still feel like I'm just some moocher because they work way more than me. In a way, I'm scared that even after I start working, I'll realize that I'll never actually be happy with myself, that'll always feel like a failure.
No. 611557
How does one date as a NEET?? I want to get on a dating app, but all I do in my free time is wallow in self-hate and I'm afraid we'd have nothing to talk about
>>604715>>602636Congrats to both of you, anons!! You should be proud of yourselves!
No. 615021
>>615007I know that feel, anon, I’m the same, my classes are online, well, they’ve always been online, but the point is that on my free time I workout and learn another language, just doing two extra things really helps you feel like you’re being productive. I also draw and sometimes write dumb fanfics, but I don’t really count those as things that will help me feel productive.
Just try thinking of something that makes you feel like you’re spending your time in a good way.
No. 633721
File: 1600508398068.png (437.96 KB, 540x429, 7a2f604116c5bb3c.png)
How do people genuinely stop being neets after life has just constantly been punching them in the face? It feels stupid to keep trying if I just have naturally shit luck.
No. 634926
Does anyone else talk to themselves a lot? I mean, a lot? I understand that it's normal to talk to yourself, but does anyone else talk like to their imaginary friends pretty much ad nauseum? For hours on end, that is. To the point where you just don't even consider seeking outside interaction.
For example, I was alone in the house, talking to myself as I usually do. I was having a really animated conversation, and I didn't hear my uncle come into the house. When I was done, I came out of my bedroom to see him in the office next to mine, to rather mortifying effect. He asked me if I was talking to a friend on the phone, but I'm a horrible liar and made it pretty obvious what I was doing. God, that was horribly cringey.
But, I've been thinking recently, in the presence of others, it's so easy to act timid. You never really know what they want. Why bother with the company of others when you can get your own? You don't have to be a neet to be asocial. There are still loner hobbies out there like biking, running, hiking, making kit models, and so on. I hate the idea that, in order to reject your neethood, you have to reject your entire personality. I'm pretty much the same person as I was when I was a neet, except I'm employed, I have hobbies, and I talk to my family more. It's not as bad as it seems, I feel.
No. 634930
>>634926I have conversations with a videogame character in my head daily. I don't know if it's bad, it's a way to work through my feelings. And the character is a nice caring mentor type so I use it to soothe myself too. But yeah getting caught by family is embarrassing, I now always wear earphones so when I make a face in reaction to the convo in my head I can pretend it's due to something I'm listening to.
Normies put too much emphasis on socializing. If you're a person who grew up with little to no socializing then it wouldn't make sense that you'll want to socialize at the level that normies do. That's my opinion anyways. Not to discourage people who want to socialize more. But if you're content and happy by your self then I don't see a problem.
No. 634946
>>633721I feel this comment so much… I had a really fundie dysfunctional fucked up childhood. Life feels like a black comedy, when things fuck up, they really fuck up. It's why sometimes I have to laugh when shit constantly happens to me.
My anxiety is at an all time high. I have to be drunk and/or high to leave my house without freaking the fuck out and trying to remind myself not to hyperventilate. Sudden noises make me physically jump and I feel crazy for looking weird in public.
I just want to stay in my house with my cat all day. Outside fucking sucks. People fucking suck and confuse me. I feel like a nut.
/End emo blog post
No. 635815
>>634926>>634930I talk to myself a lot too. I’m not necessarily lonely these days, but I’ve always just done it. I have people/characters I converse with sometimes also, other than myself.
I grew up in a pretty lonely little world as a kid, and I think it always helped me cope and work through my emotions. Tbh, I find my own conversation comforting these days.
No. 637640
File: 1600957775380.jpg (2.2 MB, 2448x3264, IMG_20200618_120332.jpg)
I got accepted for an at home document scanning job. I feel like I can handle that and I'm exited to get some spare money, but my parents are all 'why don't you get a full time job outside of the house huh???'. I'm trying my best, but it never seems to be enough for them, they want me to turn into a normie over night. I get burnt out just listening to them.
No. 637762
>>634946Exactly the same. I also vomit on occasions when I'm forced to interact with people.
Also, I feel like a NEET even though I do technically work online and make more than the average wage in my country.
I'm afraid if my online earnings for whatever reason stop that I'll be forced to actually work with people.
I'm immensely happy that this thread exists because otherwise I'd sound like a special snowflake so reading all these posts that sound as if I've written them gives me a bit of solace.
If it weren't for internet I'm sure I would have already killed myself. The few times I had a normal job it went badly despite all of my good will and attempts.
>>637640I'm so proud of you anon! It's the little steps that count and your parents are terrible for not being more encouraging. I completely understand how you feel. My parents did the same thing. It's like they don't realize how much effort it takes to muster the strength for any type of socializing and interaction. They would see me trembling and vomiting but it didn't matter one bit.
No. 641136
>>641126That anon hurt me too. But she most likely is one of those people who thinks everyone has the same opportunity and if they fail it's their fault.
I'm a 28yo NEET. Worked one year of my life. I'm planning a life were I don't have to work, as it's just not realistic that I will be happy that way. I want to grow all kind of stuff in my garden and sell it so I make a little bit of money and have something to do.
No. 641140
>>641136I want to hug you don't feel too bad pls, you're right.(I'm overemotional sorry)
You know that's a beautiful aspiration I hope you can make it happen some day soon. Gardening seems so therapeutic in general. That sounds like a dream I don't see why you shouldn't want that, idk reading this made me feel better and I really wish you the best. It must be exciting to imagine how your garden will be
No. 641143
File: 1601362554686.jpg (62.62 KB, 1200x630, 181016-hugs-mn-1305_fde3d1a7d5…)
>>641140Thank you baby neet. I have thick coat because I'm a neet so long. Sometimes I even forget that people hate us, that anon reminded me of that.
No. 641168
>>64113627 year old neet here. I’ve always wanted to keep chickens and goats.
Do you want to start a neet farm.
No. 641331
>>641136>>64112630 yr old unemployed spoonie here and I agree that hearing people make the generalized assumption that everyone is in their current situation totally because of their own laziness or weakness can leave you feeling very guilty. Worst still when it comes to illness "well I know of this person who has the same thing and they're fine!" implying you're just making excuses. It really does hurt to hear and you start questioning your own decisions and self-worth based on the standards of others.
Stay strong, anons. I know that's easier said than done but if we survive 2020 we're stronger than we know.
No. 641980
>>641593The only things you can really do are practice, and “fake it ‘til you make it”.
My first full time wage slave job after I turned 18 was in fashion retail. It suddenly required me to approach and up-sell grumpy people while getting watched through cameras and constantly harassed through an earpiece. On top of that, most of my coworkers and managers were fucked in the head, nitpicky, high school tier gossipers. It was hellish for the year I was there, but it snapped me out of my shy, spaghetti spilling shit and I went into my next job feeling (and appearing) way more normie/capable.
No. 642039
>>641962>> What if I'm late? I need to be up closer to 5 than my usual 7. And?
>>What if I get my period? Take tampons.
>>What if I straight up don't feel like it that day? Grow up
>>What if I get a headache? Take a Panadol
>>What if the staff are mean? Worse, what if the boss is mean? Toughen up.
>>What if the trains are really crowded and uncomfortable? Stand and suck it up. Are your legs broken?
>>What if I really need to do a big shit but the bathrooms always have someone in them? Shit or get off the pot.
>>What if the weather is AWFUL? Wear a jacket.
This is shit school children have usually learned to handle. How did you even get hired?
No. 642156
>>642124I had a shitty job for nearly a decade and NO DEGREE and you wanna know how I jumped into a career I don't hate?
I literally pretended, as hard as I could, that I was at least a successful Becky with a tragic backstory (it helps that my life was actually pretty tragic), and I got hired.
Just lie. Don't lie about things you'll get caught on, but lie to yourself that you're worth more, and that you can change your life.
No. 659580
File: 1603134578903.jpg (16.36 KB, 480x360, hqdefault.jpg)
>>657941They want to train me, I'm hired? Still feels like a joke. I'm scared, I'm going to start in a few days. Now I have to make up a normie tier excuse of why I didn't work or go to school for a few years.
No. 659586
>>659580Just say you dropped out or had to take care of a sick family member or something like that.
Good luck, you can do it!!
No. 659800
File: 1603147520686.jpg (48.68 KB, 960x960, 89055208_639808003488686_90476…)
I'm so happy anons! After a year of NEET-dom I've finally managed to get a job. I'm working as a tutor, which I really love because it's good pay for relatively few hours and I can pick my schedule plus I enjoy teaching.
My next steps are applying for grad school in the field I want to go to and finding a hobby after lockdown ends. I'm hoping that because everybody has been forced to limit their social interaction no one will be able to detect that I'm an autistic hikki.
No. 659905
>>659886>fetlife>virginJust use a dating site you loon, imagine being a virgin and jumping straight to a fetish site.
>dating site: socially retarded porn addicted scrotes>fetish site: manipulative sociopathic porn addicted scrotesChoose your poison.
No. 668462
File: 1604722017689.jpg (49.68 KB, 500x375, 1601298457828.jpg)
Does anyone know any tips on how to push through and get your shit together even if you have extreme avoidant tendencies? I haven't come across much good advice except "be more mindful". And while that is good advice, it's not really enough. It helps but not enough. Has anyone been able to manage their extreme anxiety or depression? If so, what helped?
No. 668729
>>668462Kinda similar to the other anon but my therapist made me figure out external motivational factors that I have control over. For example while sitting in therapy she made me text my roommate to ask if she could help me write a cover letter. (I don't need help writing, I need help getting motivated to write.) Organizing a study group for college work. Telling my mom about a cool job opening or an upcoming exam because my mom WILL ask about it next time we chat and guilt trip me if I didn't apply or didn't study.
As you can see most of my motivation comes from other people.
No. 677849
>>668729Nta and late reply. External motivations do nothing for me if they're negative, because tbh my main problem is with authority. Consequences for actions I choose to do are easier to deal with mentally than doing things I am asked/forced to.
Does the external motivation method also have a positive side?
No. 677854
>>677851o I want to add that you can reward yourself for small achievements. snacks or other indulgements, they can be prizes for when you successfully face/get something done, if the feeling itself is not enough
adding to all of this I'm also in therapy and it has helped once I realized I needed to put in full effort. It's not even hard i just didn't understand how therapy works at first lol, it doesn't happen magically in one try
No. 692783
>>668462This might sound morbid but try thinking about what it'll be like when you die, and imagine the handful of possibilities (be VERY realistic, rather than exaggerated- life is not a hollywood movie). After around a week of panic attacks, and remembering the brutal natures of life, I started getting "my shit together" and now I'm volunteering 5 days a week, and might get a part time soon (I can't guarantee that I'll land this one, but its worth the shot).
Routines are vital in getting out of the
toxic NEET hole, start off with cleaning your room, or at least parts of it, and tell yourself explicitly that "if you aren't able to do this thing to your fullest; you won't be able to do the things you desire with your 200% effort" Your life depends on this routine and the others to follow. Keep continuing your routine until you're comfortable enough to "do more", you can ask your parents and whatnot on chores you can help with.
Also remember that despite whatever repetitive mistakes you have; you should notice that your recent mistakes were less bad than your first ones. You are responsible for your own self, so it won't be 'foolish' to like & respect yourself.
We're all gonna die one day, each in our own ways. Be grateful for the precious things you have still, and don't be afraid of experiencing things (safely- don't do shit like drugs omg). And find ways to take in the feelings of your sadness, not to amplify or force your sadness out, but just take it all in. Fictional examples are dumb, but this is the best I can find to explain what I mean.
No. 692971
>>692968Also to add that what stops me from
talking to people getting out of neetdom is the fact that I can't present myself the way I want. I know it's superficial but looks are everything imo, and I will never be able to invest in the image I want
No. 692977
>>692968Can you segment it? I’m assuming you’re thinking of a situation along the lines of needing a BA to get into a career but you dropped out of high school. Some people might be motivated throughout the process by thinking of the career, but some people might be put off as it’s so far away. In the latter case, you could focus on achieving each big step. Step one, the goal is to get your GED or whatever so you can get into college - but rather than thinking about it as step one, see it as the end goal if that makes sense. That way it’ll feel closer to achieving, then when you move onto step two you can think about that. Don’t get ahead of yourself, and remember that each step is an independent achievement, not just you inching toward your goal.
> realistically there are too many things in the wayAt the risk of sounding like a motivational speaker, there were many things in your way when you were learning to walk, talk and all the other complex things that no one is born able to do. Human beings can be remarkably determined, it’s difficult to harness but the raw material is inside you somewhere.
Finally
>>692971Don’t be silly
nonnie, even if you’re genetically completely fucked (which I doubt) that’s no excuse to NEET your life away. If you’re not going to be Miss World then might as well put effort into something achievable.
No. 698754
File: 1608548126337.jpg (43.43 KB, 500x750, 169498a6758ed970ca1835da8491df…)
I'm not 100% a NEET since I'm doing my bachelor's degree but I wanted to drop out since the first semester, and I'm so close to failing pretty much every subject not because I'm stupid but because I don't study at all because I have no motivation to do nothing doing relatively good for someone who never studies my life has been just memes and stupid IB and internet culture for years, everything is the same and life has become tasteless and without a purpose, I don't have friends and my relationship with my family is shit, I don't read books, I don't watch movies or shows because nothing catches my interest anymore, I'm so detached from my own country's politics and so focused on American politics, I lost interest in everything I once enjoyed, quarantine made everything worse and even my speech deteriorated I can't socialize with people anymore and every other issue became worse than before.
I've been feeling confused about my own identity and purpose for the past couple months but with no real answer, I've tried sitting with myself and trying to figure it out time and time again but I couldn't every time but I always tried to make a change. Last night I had an epiphany while lying in bed thinking of all the years I spent online, I knew exactly what to do… I deleted 1.5k+ of the memes I had, unfollowed almost a hundred accounts, and I left half of the discord servers I was in, I'm gonna start trying to look tamer because I wouldn't be able to live with myself as a 100% normie but I'll try and be more normal and happy, I'll fix my relationship with everyone and try to make new friends that I can meet IRL, I will get back to my hobbies slowly and I will start learning more about all sorts of things and I'm gonna get better at school so I can secure a job when I graduate… I will have more to my life than the internet, the bits I experienced when I pushed myself to change felt great, I felt alive.
Hope this one sticks and I don't relapse into the madness that is internet addiction. life isn't too bad.
No. 698774
File: 1608552365800.jpg (14.3 KB, 236x212, 60ba05f6531348c56ec67cd2c32da5…)
Former neet here
I was a neet from age 15-18 with one year spent not leaving my room. I eventually had to get physiotherapy to recover my body from not leaving my bed for basically a year. There were a lot of reasons why I became a neet, but like most here, the biggest reason was mental health issues like PTSD, depression, anxiety and undiagnosed autism. At age 18 I spent a year in a mental institution and was eventually diagnosed which helped me a lot with figuring out how my brain works and how to make myself be productive, but interestingly, the mental institution wasn't what helped me get out of my behavior. A very traumatic event happened when I left the institution and after that I basically just… changed. I asked myself 'Why does this keep happening to me? Why are people so cruel?' and other self-pitying thoughts. What made me change was realising that I wasn't making things better by neglecting my health and that self-pity wasn't going to help me either. What's important is to be stern with yourself, but kind… And self-pity isn't self-care. After that I gradually learnt how to take care of myself and I started going to school again (better late than never) I stopped caring about trying to appease people and I just let myself exist and think about how I can improve to make me like myself more. I'm now 20 and finally on my last year of high school and I'm doing great! I want to get a job where I can help people and be useful. It really feels great knowing you're on the right track and being able to be proud of yourself… Don't give up! It will be hard in the beginning when you go out and try to change, but eventually you will feel that struggle is a part of you learning to respect yourself.
No. 698802
File: 1608559682670.jpg (57.26 KB, 736x919, 1544967b63ea9849dbc5bc2db2530f…)
>>695828Small steps are great, but what worked for me was throwing myself to adversity, confronting real life and doing the best I can. I wasn't a NEET but in high school I was depressed, had unhealthy habits and severe anxiety. Before going to college, I worked in retail for a few weeks at my parents' clothing store and that made such a difference. At the start I was a mess, made many mistakes and was uncomfortable all the time but with patience, perseverance, and the (healthy) pressure to do good, I got better, learnt a lot of skills, started feeling at ease in "real life situations" and ended every day feeling proud of myself.
Adversity makes us grow because it pushes us out of our comfort zone, feeling challenged and uncomfortable it's great for developing a thick skin and getting your priorities right, so I'd recommend you to get into an activity that it's safe, difficult but doable, like a sport that you always wanted to try, language classes or maybe a job at a familiar area
No. 699540
Is there a way to improve social/emotional intelligence alone in quarantine? I lost my two remaining friends recently, they cut me off and I'm all alone now. I'm not going to go into the details, but it all comes down to my lack of emotional intelligence. I'm super awkward socially and very often in social situations I realize retrospectively that I behaved insensitively or unempathically. I also have a staggering fear of emotional intimacy, I find it super hard to open up. Whenever someone asks me personal questions, I feel attacked, although I know I shouldn't. Whenever I'm in any sort of a relationship I feel a strong inclination to cut it off, be it a friendship or a romantic relationship, because in my head, being alone = safety, but at the same time I crave closeness. How do I change this? I feel lost, they were my only friends
No. 704035
>>704018There's literally no other motivation to get a job than money.
Everything else a job gives you can get with a fulfilling hobby or activity. It's just about the money. You won't get your kick in the butt. It's take it or leave it.
No. 704314
>>700066>I have degrees but they're useless humanities, I don't have any work experience. I feel so bad for some of you anons who put down the worth of your degrees just because that's what you've heard by an online echo chamber that stands to benefit from you passing up opportunities you don't think you qualify for.
You have transferable skills, you have an education. While it will take more tailoring, you absolutely can create a narrative that demonstrates how your skills match a job description. If you're not already doing it, make sure you copy and paste the job description into your resume and personalize it by applying anything relevant you may have done throughout your education.
Wrote an essay? Then you utilized computer software to write correspondence and reports.
Worked in a group? Then you've collaborated projects and are a communicative team player.
Stood in front of a classroom? Then you've presented research and answered questions.
It's not extrapolation, you just need to know how to frame your experience. Also look into ATS and other forms of employment application trickery that make shit easy for employers, even qualified candidates don't get far if they don't understand how modern application systems work. Failing that, pay a service to rework your resume for you.
The missing work docs will be your biggest hurdle but you could use this time to craft a very convincing resume that's not bullshit.
t. BA and MA degree anon who currently works alongside BS degree holders and engineers
No. 704917
>>704035>>704307Oh ok. I always thought that your job is supposed to give your life meaning and while I guess it's true for some, it doesn't click for me.
>>704527Thanks, I'll look into it.
No. 722720
>>722685Well, your parents aren’t wrong. The curse or “working for a living” painfully continues for the rest of your life, sadly.
Can you not change your job to something else? Maybe work at a cafe? Customer service jobs can be very draining if you hate every aspect of the job.
No. 723350
File: 1611701121373.jpeg (11.19 KB, 189x267, download.jpeg)
Welfare is generous enough in this country that I can spend my day helping my family with their gardens, do a little cash work and lease out my spare bedrooms and still cover my mortgage and bills. It's actually unbelievable that I'm getting $1,600 a month plus another $1,200 from the bedrooms I lease out.
If I planned on having kids, I'd get back out and work (if I could). But there's realistically no reason for me to ever get a job again. Every year I'm making around $30,000 in capital on my house and interest rates are just going lower and lower (I'm paying 5.4% atm, but come October I'll be set around 2-3% and will have an extra $100 to play with a week).
I think the trick to NEETdom is to get rid of all screens. I took a crowbar to my computer after using it 14 hours a day during Covid and regressed back to a dumbphone. I'm doing 6-8 hours of tasks a day, but it's in the form of baking, landscaping, helping family and lockpicking (a hobby). The only hard spot is at nights where I'm a bit lonely and there's nothing to do.
It's specific to australia and New Zealand, pic related really helped me a lot. If you read through it and apply everything that's applicable to your life, you'd be able to live the same life as a minimum wage worker but with the freedom of NEETdom. Scrounging money and cashies is much more psychologically satisfying than working a menial job. Of course the ideal is to get a career, but if you've got psychological problems like me and you struggle to hold jobs (I was making $80,000 a year on oil and gas sites before severe mental illness made it so I couldn't hold a job for long) then NEETdom + no screens + hobbies + financial discipline is the way to go.
No. 723355
>>722685My previous job made me feel exactly the same, it was horror, eventually I felt brave enough and went for a change and it was infinitely better. I hope you can find something else for yourself too, like
>>722720 said, maybe not customer service related?
No. 723362
>>723350>you'd be able to live the same life as a minimum wage worker but with the freedom of NEETdom.*in aussieland
In my country welfare is $400+rent is autonatically paid that is not allowed to be over $500, any credit contracts are rejected and any extra money you make is being taken unless you get off welfare.
No. 728867
>>723447Posting from the library yeah, I need to run an advert to get another renthog in so here I am.
>>723586That's the way nature works. Rentpiggies and taxpiggies pay, NEETs and landlords relax.
No. 728888
>>728868I was heading down the NEET route and then I got the news that my mom was dying..I realised that living alone with my dad would be fucking hell. That motivated me to get up and go be an adult.
A year later my mom was dead and my dad sold the house and moved to the absolute middle of nowhere. Glad I got out.
No. 731354
File: 1612579529287.jpeg (135.33 KB, 749x652, B1B30BE3-F5AE-40D5-831F-506114…)
What kind of job is best if you have chronic migraines and depression (pretending the pandemic isn't a barrier)
When I look this up it recommends things horrible for these conditions, like computer jobs (makes head worse) and ones where you are your own boss (unwise if you have depression)
I'm in online school but plagued by migraines I just wanted to stop being a NEET. I wish I simply didn't exist
No. 770155
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>>770153I’m so proud of you, anon! Congratulations!
No. 770176
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>>770145>>770147Thx girlies, I appreciate it
<3 No. 771949
File: 1617026343328.jpg (519.85 KB, 1024x936, gettyimages-639764102-1024x102…)
I don't wanna be a NEET anymore, I'd like to go to college but my ADHD brain is not sure where to even begin. Should I just start applying to places that interest me?
I graduated in 2019 but I unfortunately got really bad grades in the last portion of HS because of my parents' abuse and spending all my time sleeping through depression, so I don't really want to toss my money out the window for the application fees if they're just going to reject me for my shitty GPA. I do have a few academic achievements from AP courses and an okay SAT score but I'm not sure if those still count.
No. 771954
>>771949Why not try a semester at a community college first? It will give you a chance to reacquaint with school life and make some good grades to show the universities. Figure out how many classes you can handle, and what schedule works for your health: day or night class, online or irl, etc. The last you want to do is getting accepted somewhere great then fail to keep up.
If you took AP you may get to test out of a couple of boring prerequisite courses, saves a bunch of money there.
It's great that you're thinking about it!
No. 778132
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I'm not NEET but I feel like this thread is for me because I work from home on commission and am barely scraping by.
Have any of you tried to just obstain from using the internet and your phone completely?
I think the only way to manage my busienss successfully is to go so full in on it than I sacrifice a lot of other interests, but I'm afraid of getting burned out.
But, if I don't do this, there's a possibility I made not be able to get by. Like I'll have to grind to survive and currently I'm doing less than the bare minimum.
No. 835214
>>835025I stopped caring if people perceive me as an untermensch because of my neetdom. Imo it tells more about them than about me.
Anyway I'm going to have a job in a few days. Super scared but also excited. Yesterday I started uglycrying because it's so scary to me but also I got a feeling of self worth and being proud of me which I had not for a very long time.
No. 835235
>>835025I gave up hiding the fact I'm a former NEET, like
>>835214 said: if you're judged negatively it says more about them than you. There's nothing inherently shameful about NEETdom, normies are just conditioned into thinking they're superior. Just own it, if anything I'd say it's a
good thing since it shows that you pulled yourself out of that hole. I think the language we use to talk about it makes a difference though, don't become shy when mentioning it. Say something like "Yeah, I was a NEET, it's actually harder than you'd think but I got my shit together and now I'm really happy that I overcame it".
No. 835365
>>835246I know the feeling. The truth is, the more interviews you do, the less nervous you're gonna be because it's just
one of the many interviews
>I don't even know what I want as a long term careerThat's perfectly
valid. Try to cultivate the mindset that you're the one in power in the interview. Does the company fit your expectations? What can they offer you? You don't have to feel like a
victim when it comes to job searching
No. 835582
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I applied to a retail job wish me luck fellow neeties
the pay might be pretty good because of the unemployment problem in burger country
I'm scared and socially inept but hope I get it
No. 835619
>>835025>>835028 is good. You could also say you were freelancing or taking a gap year or travelling.
>>835582You got this anon! Just keep calm and remember that they wouldn't give you an interview if they didn't think you were worth hiring.
No. 845814
File: 1625428299994.png (216.74 KB, 559x311, Screen-Shot-2016-03-23-at-10.3…)
It's been a few months after I got a part time job as customer service and I think I'm going to quit. I feel just as depressed, but now more exhausted dissociated and easily triggered. I know my parents are going to be mad but I just can't keep going. Even working one day a week is too much. Its like I'm developing bpd. How do you handle slipping back like this?
No. 872896
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>>872879That's great anon, wish you best of luck
I recently got a Job as well a couple months back, its a bit hectic and my autism makes it difficult but I'm happy that I have one and my boss is pretty understanding
No. 874444
Made it through the second week. And I feel so good today.
>>872896Thank you! Glad to hear it's also going good for you anon. You're lucky with your boss, makes it easier to stay employed and motivated.
>>873487Thank you!
No. 876885
I've been a NEET for a few years but next month I finally start university! It's a four-year course, with one year spent abroad, so I'm pretty nervous but I'm excited to have a proper purpose in life again.
>>872896>>874444Congrats nonnies, I'm sending you good vibes! The ladies in this thread inspire me.
No. 876913
File: 1628517308483.jpg (14.23 KB, 306x300, gg.jpg)
>>876885Good luck anon, also can trying joining some clubs for sports or niche hobbies, its a good way to meet friends and socialize
No. 878120
>>876885Anon that year abroad will be amazing, be sure to live it up as much as possible (and save up beforehand!). Work as much as you need to beforehand so you can really enjoy it.
Now for my own rant as a near-former NEET, in a month I'll be starting my Masters at a ginormous school and coming from a tiny college it's honestly terrifying. I've got some involvement within my department already but stuff like socializing and dating scare me a lot. I know I have to push myself a bit out of my comfort zone with socializing to get over the fear BUT how do you get rid of the fear of dating when the majority of men are utter shit? I'm particularly anxious to befriend men after my freshman yr of undergrad where I was assaulted by my former guy friend. I really just can't trust men whether they're a friend or boyfriend. I want nothing to do with them but I'm in a male dominated field fml.
No. 886647
File: 1629427960471.jpg (60.64 KB, 1024x576, planetes3.jpg)
I got a job, 18/hr with a long fucking commute, and worked it devoutly for a week before my sister got COVID.
We're vaccinated, but she still definitely woke up with no sense of smell. We're on eating-off-the-same-plate levels of personal nonquarantine by default too. Do I tell these fuckers I've got the rona or just lie and hope one of them bites the dust to up my job security? I can work from home in this position, but like, I don't know if they'll let me do that one week into training.
That being said! I was going to post here on friday to proudly announce I've unneeted myself for exactly a week! Step one, ladies!
No. 888041
>>888021I live on disability and I have a brother. Also I’ve been thinking about becoming a transcriptionist and trying to work at home for extra cash. Right now however I’m extremely depressed and I’m having physical health issues that need to be addressed and COVID is making moving forward very difficult.
I am terrified every day.
No. 888063
>>888021I was a housebound agoraphobic in my teens and I feared getting stuck as a perma neet. I really pushed myself, got out at 19 and was scraping by just to make ends meet.
A year later my mom died and my dad up and sold the house, moved to the absolute middle of nowhere and he's living off all his savings with the attitude of 'well you can't take it with you' I'm glad I kicked my ass into gear when I did.
No. 888783
>>888021>>888041When my parents got too old I started living with my brother and his family, we have an informal agreement where I help with some chores and take care of the kids while both of them work
its not as bad as it sounds, I get along great with my sister-in-law whose very understanding , the chores take no more then 2 Hours and I genuinely love the kids
we have never discussed what happens next, I'm honestly scared of that conversation but for now our situation works
No. 904565
>>904556I'm so tired of hearing about labor shortages after how hard it was for me to find a job, and when I finally did it was a low paying job.
my only advice would be to apply for temporary positions because they are more likely to hire you. once you've worked there for a while apply for a permanent job, they are more likely to contact you if they see you already have a job. that's what I did.
anyway, good luck
No. 914258
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>>914247I'm not a part of this thread , but I I need ot tell you this because I had a nightmare of a fucking time trying to get help eating when I got diabetic gastroparesis. I am not being a cunt or funny or anything, smoke marijuana.
I was run through the fucking wringer when I got gastroparesis, they tried every miserable fucking drug on me and I swear to christ every one of them made the pain worse or the nausea worse or both
The only thing that has ever actually helped and worked long enough for the ulcers in my stomach to heal was smoking weed. If you don't tell your doctor, they won't ask. Medicine is a bullshit industry.
No. 914279
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I finally got off my ass and got a job after 4 years of neetdom, but instead of being smart about it, I got a job as a holiday clerk at the post office because I was too afraid to decline. I'm out of shape as shit and it's 50+ hours a week.
How fucked am I nonnies?
No. 914311
>>914258Yeah I told them, and that's how I got on these ulcer tablets. I hate smoking though and sorry but I have stoner prejudice because I live in a bad neighbourhood where their vapours gets into my home every couple days. Maybe I'd get some edibles to take the edge off my anxiety but I don't even know where you get that with no contacts. Not ruling out CBD oil based things.
>being called she for once on the internetNow this is why I come to lolcow, I'm so fucking tired of stealthing to avoid muh tits or gtfo
>>914291Eating hurts, yeah. I'm trying to appreciate the advice but the same boring stuff every day seems to be part of the problem. I'm not even interested when I get myself junk food, the only reason left to eat is staving off the hunger and pain so I can focus in games. Gonna see if there's baby steps I can take in other directions though, thanks.
>>914279Ain't got advice but I'm glad you'll be getting an income.
No. 914317
>>899533Retail or fast food. Where all the other people with gaps in their resumes and no skills go for.
they also won't care as much about the resume gaps.
No. 914330
>>914317but i'm very shy, I kind of want to get into a cleaning like job where I can be on my own and clean, IDK. My dream job would be just…a task that I can do with very little interaction with other people.
Like restocking or something.
No. 914352
>>914311>>914301Tysm!! I'm already feeling better knowing I have a job, plus it's good motivation to finally start exercising again so I don't die on my first day.
>>914331I know how you feel. Honestly, interacting with people is the easiest hurdle to jump. Being loud/assertive is the real hard part. Especially if you're working in food or retail where you have to yell or ask your coworkers for help. I always get those paranoid thoughts that they're all secretly laughing at me for asking a basic question, you just gotta push through it even though it's hard as hell some days.
No. 914354
>>914352I know! i feel like if I get a job I will push through it, I just gotta do it. Get over myself. Just think, "nobody cares about you". I think in black and white sometimes, like if things aren't good they are the worst, if one person thinks something bad of me I think everyone does.
I just don't feel like I can, but I want too and I feel like I will. I have too.
No. 914628
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I've been a NEET ever since I dropped out of high school years ago. After years of putting it off I'm finally studying to get my GED and even started seeing a therapist, but even then I’ve become so used to NEETdom after so long that I’m terrified of reintegrating back into society. I’ve thought about going to college after I get my GED but I’m scared I won’t be able to keep up with it and drop out again like I did in high school, and I don’t wanna work either. I don’t have any goals or dreams. Nothing interests or excites me anymore. At this point I feel like my only path in life is to continue being a NEET and keep leeching off my parents until I commit sudoku.
No. 914652
>>914628As a successful former NEET I strongly advise against Collage unless its related to a subject that strongly interests you, Collage will likely burn you out and you'll get back into a Rut
what you need to start is just a small part time Job, nothing with too much responsibility as baby steps
also maybe start going to Church, I'm 100% an ashiest but going to Church makes me feel "purer" I guess and helps me relax, try weening off most media, maybe try non-fiction Audio books or historical podcasts and lastly a sport or hobby can be a literal life saver for some of
Listen I've tried and failed but I got out of my Rut, I'm married and am truly happy now, I want to help others who were like me
No. 915517
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Every time I go outside I feel like killing myself because of how much anxiety and disappointment I feel. I don't think I'll ever have a normal, and I don't care about it anymore. I wish I could live as an useless shut in forever, or that I felt bad enough to kill myself
No. 915587
>>915517start with baby steps
>>915579I'm an ESL and where I'm from we call 'college' university
No. 917466
>>917445stick at it for as long as you can so you can have something you've done for a solid amount of time on your resume. learn as much as you can so you have the option to take on more responsibility later down the line if you want to. find coping mechanisms for stressful days, for example it sounds dumb af but when I feel overwhelmed on busy days I like to pretend I'm in a video game trying to get a high score for cleaning tables or whatever. it helps me embrace the novelty of service work and not get too bogged down. most of all remember that you should be super proud of yourself for escaping NEETdom - good luck
nonnie; I believe in you!
No. 940127
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The fact that I've had more or less actual conversation like this with my parents makes me depressed, I'm not a cutter but I go from periods of binge eating and self starvation and purging
sometimes my father gets excited for even the most basic of shit that I force myself to do and congratulates me like it's a big deal even it shouldn't be, I know he means well but I hate myself for being a burden to my family, I hate being a personal embarrassment to my mother, I hate that my siblings hide me and force me into my room when their friends come over
I just wish I was never born or that I could find some way to get out of this rut
No. 940158
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>>940157I think my mother has given up hope on me, She think that everything I do and the way I act is all some part of nefarious scheme to embarrass her, as If that's what all the failures in my life amount to, my dad is still hopeful
he tries the best he can despite my many failures and never forces me to do anything I don't want
No. 940455
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>>940306>>940407describes my interactions with my mother, my father still has some hope in me and would be happy even If I had a lower middle income job based on my interests or even just a hobby with friends, as long I could be somewhat happy but my mother never had any expectations for me to begin with, she's always viewed me as a disappointment and thinks I'm a neet only to personally embarrass her
every conversation is about her
>>940443idk what to, I'm honestly scared of her and she's even tried to hit me a couple times, now that quarantine is ending my dad's started going to work more and my siblings are going back to school, so now I'm alone with her all day
sometimes she just barges in my room and starts venting at me about all her issues in my life and how I'm such a horrible daughter for not supporting her, I know lock my room's door but she still starts screaming so outside the door
No. 948534
File: 1635092767250.jpg (34.54 KB, 201x275, 1634473589985.jpg)
>>948174Not to be discouraging but I never got used to it. I'd put up with it for a few months and then break down and quit when I couldn't handle it anymore.
No. 950311
>>949658Me too nonnerino. Not the being a trilingual hottie part, but the world feels unfair these days, cruel and cold and pointless.
I try to remember why I want to stay, to go back to my favourite mountain, to make friends, to lift others up and find freedom. And NEETing gets pretty lonely.
So far to cure loneliness, I talk to old ladies I don't know, walked into a meeting that I wasn't invited to, went out with my cousin, and read really good books. So before you can find yourself in a place full of people, these may tide you over. But yeah, when I feel low, and there's no one to distract me from my thoughts, it's bad. Sometimes you just need a glass of milk and a nice hot bath to get you through it all.
No. 950330
>>949670Seconding
>>950298 where I am the national train company (whateveritscalledinenglish) pays for your education. Definitely worth looking into.
No. 956371
>>948535>>948218Its not that, I love my father and my siblings for much how they support me, I feel awful for not being able to deliver all on
failure after failure, it hurts letting down the people I love and who love me, I hate myself for being such a disappointment to them
No. 960262
File: 1636106842827.jpeg (32.82 KB, 454x675, 7BCE8240-0BF7-42ED-822A-32D1F2…)
I just had work drinks with my colleagues to celebrate one of them moving on to another role. The night before that I was at my young professionals social club, and earlier that day I had a great lunch with some other young women who work in other departments at my job. After an awkward childhood and a shitty lonely high school/college experience that left me feeling destined for NEETdom, it’s great to feel liked and wanted at the very start of my career, and this whole week has left me feeling very picrel.
No. 960507
>>960262that pasta looks cute, congrats on getting a life
>>960456they're all pretending too. even the most sociable normie is acting to a degree
No. 960705
>>960682Honestly you can't force a mood. I don't really pretend to be happy, but I will at least be pleasant. A fake smile goes pretty far. But I don't do the bubbly thing. I've been depressed for so long that I cannot be chirpy without feeling like a fraud, so instead I do my best to be polite and interested in people, and they get used to my weird ways and dry sense of humor.
I think forcing a mood will lead to emotional burnout.
No. 960871
>>960866a lot of places won't hire women to work the night shift
nonnie, it's a liability thing
No. 966563
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nonnies I’m trying to leave neetdom and applied for an assistant position at a cat clinic and they actually sent me a follow up email even though I have no experience!! I really hope I get this, I worked 2 other random bs jobs and they made me miserable, I just wanna be around kitties all day.
No. 966615
File: 1636736057516.gif (4.59 MB, 480x600, Tumblr_l_395894639204290.gif)
>>966563>>966563Nice, hope it goes well
No. 966689
>>966681You're not going to like this anon, but lie. Super exaggerate every single little thing that happens. Come up with a list of very small insignificant things that happen and find ways to make them seem more significant. Join pointless clubs and organizations, create a linked in, etc.
Do whatever you have to do to make it seem like you're doing more than what you are.
No. 981974
File: 1638293383939.jpg (23.37 KB, 474x377, download.jpg)
Holy shit got hired at a bank call center. I still can't believe it. It's just for two months but can be expanded to more time. Nonnas, am I gonna make it? I hope I don't screw it up because I want to leave neetdoom forever.
No. 982023
>>981974Happy for you!!!! Looking for a decent part time job myself, and starting school in January. I really hope I don't fuck this up. I'm about to be 26 and tired of being a loser.
Take it easy and just be your best self. You've got this anon, I'm rooting for you
No. 983303
File: 1638421150339.jpg (83.04 KB, 640x640, I Felt a Funeral in My Brain b…)
Life has been so hard and this year has been the worst one of my entire life and that is including the year I nearly died after a suicide attempt. I've been a neet since 2017. I don't want to be a burden anymore and at 31 years old I'm just a living embarrassment. I feel trapped and everyday feels like a slow suicide where I just avoid my own life constantly. But I really truly do want to get better. Any advice or just encouragement for neets out of their twenties with much larger gaps in jobs/school? How do I break out of my paralysis? I wish I knew
No. 984349
File: 1638536467728.jpg (68.25 KB, 562x681, 1636139224890.jpg)
>>983303Well speaking as someone as someone whose on the spectrum and who escaped NEETdom and is somewhat normal here's all the advice I learned
you have to start our small, but also you have to gradually break certain autistic habits you may have developed, for e.g I used to refuse to use any soap that wasn't from a specific brand that I had bought personally bought from a specific neighborhood shop, this was just one limiting autstic habit that I had developed that I had to gradually get past
another thing that helped was that I deleted a lot of my social media accounts and started fresh with a new Google/Youtube account, I immediately subscribed to mostly history, skill based, book summarization and wild life channels, I also downloaded some comfort media when I was still in a partial NEET phase
just safe and non-degenerate content
>>983303>>984338I think more important then Job is getting a outside hobby or activity, something to help you start socializing
Krav Maga saved my life, it helped me grow as a person, helped me get a little more confident and I met my now boyfriend there, it helped me
While I'm not a NEET anymore, I'm still only a normiie but I'm getting there and I'm happy with the path I took
No. 985289
>>984338if you can't get an entrylevel service job right now then you must live somewhere weird because idk, they're hiring everybody at the grocery stores. Face tattoo guys, old ladies who talk to themselves… half the people at chipotle last time were straight up working with airpods in & texting people. That shit did NOT fly two years ago.
It's great for a NEET/autist at the moment tbh. The only reason I found a service job I liked was cause it was a small cafe that let you put on ypur own music, which was rare 5-6 years ago, but the service sector is giving employees a lot more free reign as perks now. They just dropped the uniforms at the grocery store near me too… or rather now the uniform seems to be that you can wear any sports jersey you like. Or maybe that's just the people here.
No. 985306
>>985289samef to add that if you do keep getting rejected it may not be what you think. For example, I saw someone who kept answering the question "Do you have reliable transportation?" with "No" because they would be taking the bus. Saying "no" there is an instant autorejection but she could have jist said "yes" cause the bus does count as reliable, and if the bus turned out to be always late, idk deal with that when it comes up. As other anon said, just lie & say everything is normal for the interview. Once you're hired theyre a lot more accomodating - you could literally say "yeah I have a car" and then a week later "oh I had to give my car to my sister" they literally wont care.
Good places to work as a neet/autist imo:
Aldi
Gas stations
Goodwill
Asian groceries & restaurants
Local coffee shops
Local ice cream stores
These all have relatively easy, mostly solo work, and they don't have that "Be a happy part of our team!!! :):):) >:)" vibe that some places have… its just if you can show up and work. pls dont ban for moticons im just quoting.
No. 987206
>>982023Are you me? We're the same age and going to school soon.
When do think you'll be working? How many hours do you plan to work a week?
No. 987966
>>984884you should try a coding boot camp at a community college, it's much easier than self disciplining yourself into learning
if you're in the US and over 24, you can apply for FASFA and have it cover your classes because it's at a community college
No. 988171
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Nonnies I am so close to getting my shit together and stop being a neet once and for all, but I am freaking out. For some reason I feel so overwhelmed with the idea that I will somehow fuck it up and become unable to be constant and go back to idle neetdom. I have a list of all the stuff I gotta do so I do them on time yet I'm scared shitless, help.
No. 988183
>>988171It’s natural to be scared. You’re about to take a big step and leave behind the comfort of failure and become someone who has succeeded! That’s scary shit but it’s pretty amazing too. You’re gonna be that person who’s built themselves a whole softer landing pad miles up above the neet floor you used to be on. You get to chill all the way up there cause you earned it or you get to go even higher because you have earned the right to rise. You worked through hundreds of days of shit and now you get to soak up the sun and fresh air and all the good shit
nonnie, hope you enjoy every second of your success! You earned it and deserve it
No. 988190
>>988183Damn
nonny you made me emotional, I'm crying a little. Thank you. But you are absolutely right, is comfortable living in failure and scary as shit to leave that comfort but I believe you that it could be amazing. I'll do my best to enjoy it and work even harder!
No. 988890
File: 1638991189038.jpg (185.27 KB, 1698x1140, download (1).jpg)
Bank anon here. I have worked on the call center for a week and I feel worthless. Most of the calls that I have received I got help from my supervisors, literally almost every call, despite the fact that we have textbook tier notes, but I can't check them out as fast as I can because we shouldn't let the client waste their time because a wagie is checking out their notes.
However, my supervisors told me last tuesday that I am kinda MVP. But on the same day I spilled my spaghetti on two boomers that will write down a customer complaint on me.
Today I have studied my notes but tomorrow at the moment I am on the phone my mind will go blank.
I hope that if I get fired I will be hired somewhere else because I can't descend to neetdom anymore.
No. 988900
>>988890Anon, it's been a week, even stupid shit like that takes longer to learn than a week.
I'm starting a similar job except it'll be in German, ugh, not looking forward to it.
No. 989111
>>988900Thank you. Maybe you are not looking forward to it but think that it will looks good on your CV, especially on German, one of the hardest language to learn. Whatever it takes we will get out of neetdom.
>>988910I truly didn't expect them to say that, but we will see tomorrow if the boomers filled up the customers complaint. On one hand I want to get out of this job, on the other I'm putting all of my best because I want to stay for the two months in order to get money for my car license.
No. 989132
>>989119I know that from some shitposter sounds hollow but I root for you. Just put out your best on your degree.
Meanwhile, if you can, find a part time job to fill your CV.
Congrats nonna, the road to normiedom is ahead on you.
No. 989440
File: 1639041873539.jpg (61.7 KB, 912x684, 126998421_2980712008822806_273…)
>be me
>got useless degrees
>studied for exams have no actual knowledge or skills
>nearing my thirties with no job experience or a boyfriend
I basically avoided finding a boyfriend by masking it with "i'm busy with uni". Women my age and younger already have not just jobs but careers, long term boyfriends, some of them are married with kids. I don't even know how to fix it. I would't mind getting a job in retail or something but my parents will kill me if after spending so much money on my education I get a job that is socially looked down.
I feel like it's too late to change anything, I don't even know where to start to try and fix my life.
No. 989477
>>989460I don't recommend it, but the reality is the only thing stopping a woman from getting a bf is her own standards. There will always be options for us, they might just be shitty options.
But I was being a bit sarcastic tbh I can't relate to women who act like being single is a death sentence.
No. 990390
File: 1639120614930.gif (3.28 MB, 640x480, 24324124.gif)
Got a remote job just to basically watch youtube videos. Its the easiest shit ever, they even hired me with my spotty job history. I can do it on my own hours as well, too bad its only part-time. Goodbye neet lyfe.
No. 990477
>>990465Congrats for leaving neetdom! I would like to ask if you aren't you at risk of seeing cp/gore? My friend worked at a similar position except she checked Facebook and it was so bad for her mental health.
Do you have to remove stuff like amvs with copyrighted music? Or has that changed with the system recognizing tracks
No. 990488
>>990477Nah I don't come into contact with things like that, probably the worst I've heard is seeing soft core porn. But you have a option to filter any offensive stuff you don't want to see.
Its just a variety of videos, but so far no things like copyright music and such. Like political videos that were flagged and other random things.
No. 990591
>>990556Hmmm it could be a couple things. I think around this time of year it can be slow. Some months have more work then others. Also what time you login on also factors in.
I saw people saying they had luck with going in early mornings, so maybe try going in around peak hours.
No. 992281
File: 1639292312345.png (320.97 KB, 749x560, queen laura.png)
It's never too late, nonnies. Life fuel.
No. 995875
>>993844As to also bolster your confidence, when I started college I made good friends with people ten years older than myself (28-30ish). I was surprised when they told me their ages, ha.
I envy people who start later in life, I think college requires maturity a lot of young folks don't have, I sure didn't anyway. Good luck with your studies!
No. 1012889
>>1012831You can do it, do you have anybody you can talk to like your family?
I'm rooting for you, good luck in your journey
t. 28 yo former neet
No. 1013302
>>1012831Noo, you already identified your self sabotaging behaviours, that they’re from abuse, and you want to change! That’s a great start! It will be as simple as this
>have a daily workout and hygiene routine>do something that scares you every day>keep a diary to track progress and introspect>be kind to yourself and abandon the ‘all or nothing mindset’>listen to 22 by Taylor SwiftThis will get you into the girlboss mindset. Then you have to start networking for careers and finding people. It will also help to find a roommate. Good luck eurononna
No. 1014067
>>1013302is this a serious post? kek
>listen to taylor swiftyeah thats not good advice
No. 1017236
File: 1641428649986.jpg (84.49 KB, 638x479, fabian-tactics-0829.jpg)
After repetitively trying to get over my computer addiction cold turkey, I'm trying a more fabian approach.
Every day I do half an hour around the house, and one hour doing activities and chores outside. Then then next week I move it to an hour and a half, the week after that to two hours. And so on until my internet addiction is at a more manageable level. I was at 12-16 hours a day, I want to get it down to three hours a day at least.
No. 1017245
>>1017239In the sense I'm using it, it means gradualism. It comes from the British Fabians who were socialists that wanted to achieve socialism through incremental reform. Kinda how I now want to incrementally fix my life instead of changing everything all at once. I guess I could've just said gradualism kek.
I was thinking about why I kept on failing every time I got rid of the computer and I realized it's because I have nothing else going for me. If I insert one activity or hobby in place every week for an extra additional hour, then eventually I'll start shutting out my mindless browsing. I hope to get a part time job (4-6 hours a day) further down the track, and then at the end finally transition to full time work.
No. 1022903
File: 1641863745060.jpg (452.98 KB, 2340x1316, __komori_kiri_and_usui_kagerou…)
>>988171Komori anon here, I've been fairly stable on my path to normiedom and breaking free from neetdom. I opened a bank account, got a cellphone number, got a haircut and been networking with people who want to work with me in freelance. I am still scared shitless but not as much as before, today I made an appointment to pierce my ears to look more "ladylike/professional" if you will, my agoraphobia acted up but I somehow managed it under control. Now I'm gonna focus the rest of this month on getting a social media presence and 2 projects I was asked help on. I don't wanna fuck it up and stay a neet forever.
No. 1025094
>>1022903congratulation
nonnie! this is great and I'm rooting for you
No. 1028082
File: 1642217181020.jpg (189.68 KB, 736x736, c654ea00e4642bd449cda026a0ae1c…)
I'm not a NEET technically because I'm on university but these last two years I've felt like one. All my classes were online, I'd never turn my camera on and just be on my phone while the professor was talking. I didn't go out.
I've spent about 10 hours online, everyday, since 2020 started.
I feel pathetic and extremely comfortable at the same time. I wish I was more mad at myself so I could gain some discipline and start doing things. Because I want to do things, I want to do well in uni, learn languages, travel (I need money for that = need to work) but I'm just. So. Comfortable
When I go out to run some errands and see an accomplished girl of my age or meet with my (hardworking, mature and fun) friends, I come back feeling depressed and ready to "finally change for once!" because "this can't keep going like this" but I never make any changes. Everything seems so tiring.
I'm going to start therapy and this is probably the main issue I want to talk about. Because I can't envision this lifestyle for myself in the future and honestly I just feel like a brat. No one likes to work and go to university and everyone is tired from the world, I'm not special or in a different situation than them, but they push through and try to have a good time. I admire them.
Also university is starting with normal classes in a few months, so change is unavoidable. Maybe that is what I'm needing
No. 1028216
>>1028082At least you are aware of your NEET tendencies. It only gets harder once you graduate
nonnie. Since you're studying, will you need to get an internship or something? Perhaps you can branch out that way. Honestly online learning killed college education, so try to break out of just being inside so much.
No. 1029282
File: 1642315269896.jpg (49.28 KB, 322x423, 7_1.jpg)
I got fired from my part time retail job… The manager started all with "I don't think this is a good fit for you, you should work with ppl your age, boss says we can't give you as many hours because older employees got better from their illnesses". I kind of blanked out and she eventually dropped the nicey act to just flat say "your last shift is tomorrow". I ok'd and went back to work. I hate all managers, they're slick cunts who act like angels and as soon as you're not their dog they show their true shit selves. My parents are going to be extremely mad I'm thinking of not telling them and pretending to go to work atleast until I can get another job. But I'm so fucking tired of this I don't have the will to find another one. And I don't have the will to study either. I don't know what to do and going outside at night in the -20 C weather is getting more and more appealing. I feels like I don't have a soul anymore it's been eaten up by everyone else, and I'm just hollow.
No. 1031540
>>1029609Yeah going through the guidelines is stressing because you have that many pages at the start. But honestly you can use the guide book during the quiz and just use ctrl+f. Or just cheat and google the questions which can have the answers pop up as well.
For the second part of the exam just be more critical and use your gut.
They are likely if you fail ask you again if you would like to retake the test.
I've done other UHRS work before and this is probably the easiest.
No. 1032524
Have been a NEET for close to a year now and feel increasingly pressured to get a “real” job. I probably don’t have it as bad as many of you all here and I’m sorry if I’m taking up space. I don’g know where else to share. Anyway I don’t have any job experience compared to so many people my age and it makes me want to rope sometimes. I’m lucky to have family and friends to support me with housing and other luxuries. Still I think it’s time I actually do more in getting my own shit together before it’s too late. There are still some aspirations I want to fulfill but I need to have my own money for them. I wish we didn’t live in some capitalist hell where we need money to live but I’m not seeing a revolution happening any time soon. I’m also getting sick of just staying inside all the time and miss seeing people like when I was in school (pre-pandemic). Wish me luck on my goal to become a wagie. I could also use some suggestions of jobs to look for as someone who’s a shy person who’s never really worked.
>>1031840Hope it gets better for you.
No. 1032621
Just adding some advice to the conversation since a lot of us might want to job hunt.
If you have a bit of a gap in your resume and don't want to be questioned for it, learn a skill or take a course. Online works too, and if it comes with a certificate, even better. Harvard and other fancy unis have free courses you can take and add to your CV.
Something like digital marketing, a 2nd or 3rd language, how to use Excel, coding, graphic design, technical drafting, business mathematics, video editing, public speaking. If they ask why you weren't working, you can say you took up some classes while freelancing, these courses will bring a lot of value to your job experience.
Good luck nonas!
No. 1033051
File: 1642618786790.gif (201.53 KB, 499x270, xavier_normal_normal.gif)
I always hid this thread because it was triggering kek but after almost 5 years, I've finally signed up for online school. Not sure if it really counts but I'm gonna count it as escaping the NEET lifestyle. They're just high school classes to upgrade my marks for a pre-pre-med program, but still. I just need to take small steps and work towards Going Normal
No. 1034040
Still no job. I think I am going to focus exclusively on applying for factory work. I want to work first shift packing or something. I see no reason why I can't do that. No dealing with money, no dealing with phones
>>984349You are wrong, a job is the most important, easy for you to say because you have a fucking job.
No. 1036304
File: 1642815154445.jpeg (160.14 KB, 1024x768, D0681624-9D9A-419F-B48B-7AAFF7…)
I just quit my job because I couldn’t handle it anymore. I know I’m fortunate to be in supportive situation financially, but I can’t seem to keep a job anymore. I used to be the chick with 3 jobs, and now my mental health has me bailing a month in.
I guess I can try work from home jobs idk why bother
No. 1051114
Still recovering but I’ve had some wins I’m really proud of. I’ve been exercising every day,
I worked out a solution to my ID problem and I even have a project that will hopefully turn into a paid job!
I hit rock bottom 2 years ago, I didn’t know things could get worse but I remember trying to think about myself and coming up with nothing. I realized how empty I’d become, there was nothing left of a person within me and I’ll be honest it kind of broke me for a bit.
I snapped out of it when I realized no one was going to help me if I didn’t help myself first so I reached out to someone. I just kind of dumped it all on her and she listened and that made me feel less alone. So we started talking more regularly.
I started trying to exercise, it was impossible! My life was so sedentary and I’d gained so much weight I felt like giving up. Instead any time I struggled I made the exercise easier. I literally started with just standing up from a seat twenty times. Then I added high knees. Then stretching. Then side steps. Then walking around my apartment, aerobics, weights. Now I can run for an hour and I’ve lost a significant amount of weight. I changed my eating habits drastically too because I decided I wasn’t ok with just dying any more.
I struggled to work on anything because any time it was garbage I’d lose my shit and give up. Working out though had kind of shown me that if I stuck with something I could get better at it! So that’s what I did, I set a project for myself, create a page a day for a month. If it was shit it was shit, I tried not to even think about it. I stopped judging things as I worked on them and instead focused on going through the motions. Now I can sit down for three hours concentrating on a task without melting down. Now I’m finding I enjoy what I’m doing, I see value in just the effort I’m putting in. I still struggle with hobbies and downtime, I fear if I rely too much on those things I’ll return to being less productive but since demonstrating to myself I can be diligent and disciplined I try to give myself a pass occasionally.
Sometimes I still feel empty, hopeless, worthless. But I remind myself, that’s ok because now I know I’m disciplined, capable, resilient. The bad days pass, the good days linger. It’s a nice change from long hours spent staring at nothing, wishing my life away. For the first time in years I’m hopefully, I see a path through my garbage. I can do this, I am doing this!
Every day is a chance for me to make a small adjustment towards my goals (I have goals!), so I take it moment by moment and just try to do better than I did the day before.
Good luck to everyone else trying to recover! You can do it, I never thought I’d stop feeling this gaping sense of despair that I could only survive by ignoring it (and everything else in my life), now I’m trying to look at my life and take action to reduce that despair and I drown it out with small goals, achievements and hopes and every time I do that my dreams get bigger and the despair gets smaller. Taking small actions has really snowballed into a whole avalanche of actions that keep growing. I’m excited to see what I can do next.
No. 1130680
File: 1649638328585.gif (121.67 KB, 300x300, 7853DF0C-EF43-4A01-AD99-6DBCAF…)
It's so hard to overcome NEETdom when every door seems to close on you, I applied to a few jobs online but never heard back and it's just crushing. I know I should keep trying but for some reason everything, just getting up in the morning is exhausting. I feel like I am constantly needing to recover. I wish I could sleep forever. Obviously I have depression, I'm in therapy and on meds but really what needs to change is my lifestyle. A self-perpetuating problem you see. The whole reason I became a NEET to begin with was repeated bouts of illness, just pure bad luck. When will my luck change? The only thing that's steady is school where I have all As but I'm barely taking enough classes and I don't even have confidence in a career choice. I have no friends. I hate myself for being like this, trying to change but tl;dr it's all so tiresome.
No. 1131775
File: 1649711412532.jpg (94.48 KB, 960x720, 1585129443550.jpg)
FEELS SO BAD WHEN YOU SEE YOUR ESTRANGED TEENAGE FUCKUP FRIEND IS NOW A FULL NORMALFAG WITH A CORPO JOB WTF AM I DOINGGG
No. 1131801
File: 1649712859426.png (287.47 KB, 344x611, 36F11E03-11D7-426C-A4F0-4FACCE…)
Hopefully on the way to breaking out of NEETdom with a job. Of course the places I applied to didn't get back to me and this job has connections to my uncle; feelsbadman. It's a confusing job and I can't even comprehend it, I think if I get hired I will be calibrating some random machines all day? I don't know what the machines are no matter how hard I look at them. It is called a flowmeter? I will be touching flowmeters, if I'm lucky to get this job.
I don't have a car though or a license huehuehue
I want to die.
No. 1133432
>>1131801That image is rather funny. Haha!
Good luck with your job search love. I think a great way to get hired is to just bring your CV and a big smile!
(Susan being Susan) No. 1136001
File: 1650030083920.jpg (493.46 KB, 1100x530, __kuroki_tomoko_and_tamura_yur…)
Just venting.
I think the biggest barrier to overcoming NEETdom to me is transport. The last time I went on a train I got molested, and another time a group of teenage boys would not stop following or cat calling me on the train. I don't live in a good area, so I've been deeply afraid of public transport ever since then.
I hate how disgusting, obnoxious, filthy and loud people can be on trains/buses, it's very demoralising and uncomfortable to me. Obviously, I don't have a car. It doesn't help that where I live public transport is only getting more expensive. I wish we had women only train carts over here. I'd feel a lot more motivated to actually go out into the world. I wish I had my own car and could drive too.
I know I just have to suck it up and try anyway but god do I wish I lived somewhere where I could just walk to my workplace. I want to work so I can earn money and get out of this place that I hate, but because I hate this place and most of the people here it's very hard to take the first steps. I don't have a PC or a good laptop so I'm not sure what my options for remote work are since I only have my phone really.
No. 1136019
>>1136001I'm sorry anon, that sounds horrible. I was also molested on the tram and it burned into my memory, so I know what you're talking about. I think it's important to not look nervous and uncertain because predators can literally pick upon that. What I think I also did wrong was that I have the habit of initiating eye contact with random people and some retardo men take this as an invitation.
When it comes to jobs, if you apply for remote jobs, the company will provide you the tools (work laptop, work phone)
No. 1136280
>>1136267Nta but if it helps, when it comes to friends getting engaged and all that.. I was married at 25 and seperated a year later. I had a nervous breakdown when he left so soon into marriage. It was humilating and hard to explain to relatives. It made me want to take the previous 6 years of my life back. Never saw it coming but that's the risk when you're banking on scrotes to help create a shared stable life.
The women who seem like they're ahead right now because of a scrote and a ring could fall back to being single and picking up their life again in a moment.
No. 1141990
File: 1650508784628.jpg (58.03 KB, 880x480, Entanglement_(1).jpg)
>>940127same, both parents and grandpa get happy and excited over the slightiest improvement but I I cant just shake the feeling that to this day i havent been able to give them back all the effort they put into raising and educating me
No. 1143336
>>1142821Depends what your situation is. Employment agencies will give anyone a job regardless of their incompetence, so if you have one in your area it's worth looking into. Be warned that the job description they give you will not match the job, which will be shit and minimum wage, but it's a job and it'll give you experience.
There are a lot of vacancies for jobs that lost most of their workforce during COVID. They will also be shit jobs but, again, they will give you experience. You could try WFH but I don't know if you want to go down that route or if you want to get out a bit more.
No. 1147684
>>1147495Let's GO
nonnie! Good luck and remember to avoid thinking. Just don't think. You are going to ace it.
No. 1148067
File: 1650923624009.gif (173.76 KB, 267x200, 200 (1).gif)
girls if i dont fuck this up ill be studying compsci in august this year
No. 1148191
>>1148067yes don't frick up
nonnie do it for us so you can become a lolcow jannie and become rich from compsci yess!!
No. 1148507
File: 1650958832381.jpg (133.04 KB, 1200x848, Wagecuck.jpg)
I've swung from NEETdom to workaholicism. I have substance abuse problems and used to have an internet addiction problem, and I started getting those under control and started going to work, it felt good. Then I found my life started getting better, then I got a second job, then full time study on top of that.
I'm now at the point where I wake up at 5am every morning, do my schoolwork until 7, have food, go to my full time job, come home, have dinner, do more study until 9 and then sleep. Do that Monday to Friday, then on Saturday and Sunday I do my second job for half the day, do the rest of my schoolwork and sleep. I do this and then like once a month I'll burn out and just drink and sleep for two to three days straight and have a solid recovery, and then repeat the cycle.
But I have nothing else in my life. I don't have friends anymore so when I come home it's an empty apartment. Video games and TV shows are now boring to adult me, so even if I'm tired I just think "work work work", and take some sick pride and satisfaction in how much of a workhorse I'm being.
No. 1151125
File: 1651091087851.jpg (27.56 KB, 450x244, downloadfile-7.jpg)
it was never my intention to be a neet, especially for how many years my ass has been one, but it's like im irrevocably damned! there's literally no other explanation for it! ive contemplated through all the potential reasons, like maybe im not getting hired cuz im chubbs and the hiring manager hates fatasses but then i literally see someone whose wayy bigger than me working at that very place or maybe because the manager is racist, but then i see a worker whose several shades darker than me. Maybe it's because i am ugly and they dont wanna see my fucking mug every damn day, yet ive been told i am pretty by near strangers. It's been like this for fucking years!!! absolutely none the jobs i apply too require a degree and if the application doesn't require a resume/previous work experience i sign up for it only for me to still not get the job!!! ive even gotten to the point of interviews, all awkward as hell admittingly, still no job. Shit's so bad that ive turned to astrology and tarot for answers and i dont like the answers!!! simplifying it, the astrology side basically said that gaining employment will be my actual, main problem in my current lifetime, it is my personal saturn and i hate it!!! being a neet is genuinely written in the stars for me, nonas!!! At least my tarot cards have given me some hope, but im about to start doing some actual witchcraft ie burning candles, scribing, and potentially digging holes in my backyard and putting weird shit in it
No. 1182138
File: 1652632857611.png (2.64 MB, 1600x975, anime_girls_computer_city_urba…)
I have been working for 3 weeks now and it's okay, coworkers leave me alone and don't think I'm weird, have my own room + I can listen to music. Tried 3 different customer service jobs, wouldn't recommend
No. 1183149
>>472051There is something about me that makes recruiters go “no not her” i don’t know what. I hate being shy and i hate being introverted i try faking it in interviews but that clearly doesn’t work, should i wear makeup and straighten my hair everyone tells me it’s unnecessary. I feel like a child in interviews. How do I manage to consistently blow my interviews?
I also don’t know what i want to do anymore, i don’t have connections, my good gpa is worthless, and my professors won’t send the stupid letters to grad school.
I thought about learning data analysis since it’s similar to what i studied in university but i feel pathetic trying. Im glad that in 2 years I never had to look at math. Maybe i should learn graphic design or marketing?
God i feel so pathetic.
No. 1183165
>>1183149I think you could try writing an email to the recruiter after an interview and directly ask them for feedback about what areas you'd have to improve in interviewing. Worst thing that could happen is they don't answer.
Do you strive to look professional in interviews? D you wear formal clothes? I'd also advise straightening your hair and wearing light makeup. I also have curly hair and it just looks messy if I don't straighten it.
Chances are, if you're introverted and shy, you come across as uncertain in yourself and your abilities and that's what you have to work on
No. 1183303
>>1183149>should i wear makeup and straighten my hair everyone tells me it’s unnecessaryYes absolutely wear makeup to interviews. Don't go crazy just concealer, mascara, lipstick and groomed brows read "adult woman" VS the girl who serves you popcorn at the movie theater.
If your hair is unruly, straighten it.
Also iron your clothes. It's free and helps you feel more put together.
>I feel like a child in interviewsWhat exactly makes you feel like that? Try to be very specific and tackle each problem proactively.
Humans are just animals and you need to tune into the "one of us" feeling. If you feel inferior and childlike, the hiring managers are going to think "well she knows herself better than we do, she seems overwhelmed and intimidated by the work so let's pass even though she's qualified."
No. 1188011
>>1182138>wouldn't recommendWhy?
Where do you work now?
No. 1192371
>>1192357Some people will tell you to claim you took care of sick family or something. Don't. We have to lie. Not that I have a job yet, but I never even got replies to my applications when I left my employment history blank.
I was super scared to lie but not anymore. I put down fake experience and claim I was studying for a while as well. Claim you worked at some store in your area that recently shut down. Find some small online store and claim you worked customer service. They all believed it. But if I ever get caught I'll just confess and tell them I had to because it's fucking impossible to get any response if I'm honest.
No. 1193637
So I was a complete NEET until last year when I started learning to code and got involved in a local training program that has connections to the tech market here. Got a job out of it and I've been working as a developer for a bit. Theoretically I should love it, and I do to an extent especially now that I'm more remote, but I'm so mentally exhausted every day from everything related to this job. The work load, the complexity of the problems I work on, waking up at the ass crack of dawn, having to keep in constant communication with the senior devs, and that's on top of stressing about still being in my probationary period and the uncertainty of job security (1 more month to go before I find out if they intend on keeping me around). It's to the point that I feel like I don't have the energy to do anything else once it's 5 and I'm off. I just browse twitch or one of my other usual sites until it's time to go to bed. I barely sleep, my diet is shitty now from the stress, and I know I have no right to complain since this is an ideal position for most recovering NEETs, but I'm going to anyway lol. I'm essentially living for the weekends rn and I kinda hate it. Friday, Saturday, and Sunday are the only days I have the energy or will to do my hobbies or play with my dog, get out, etc. It's making me want to become a NEET again, but I don't have the option to go back to that lifestyle. I daydream about video games and being able to sleep in until 12 like I used to. Do any other former NEETs who transitioned into the 9-5 life feel this way or am I just weak?
No. 1193664
>>1192368Baby. Baby cmon ya gotta be persistent, just like you were persistent on your hikki lifestyle. If you're making mistakes, it means you're probably learning - try analyzing what kind of mistakes you're learning, make a log or something so you can see the patterns and try to avoid making them in the future. You gotta have a positive feedback to keep your head up: try asking for it, but if it's negative or neutral spin it in a positive light.
It's kinda hard, feels like rewiring your brain, but you can do it. The hardest step is already behind you (getting a job). I believe in you nona.
>>1193637Seconding
>>1193650, you already stare at screens all day, stop doing it when you're off the clock lol it's doing you no good. No advice on the other stuff since I'm kinda going through the same thing but I suck it up and do it. I wrote some bullet points on why I'm doing this and read them when I feel unmotivated and that everything sucks.
Some other small stuff that you can do to make it bearable: install screen filters like f.lux, get a comfy pillow seat thingy, crack your back, take breaks to regain your focus. You got this too baby
No. 1198047
nonnies, i need your advice, and it's rather urgent.
i've been a NEET since i dropped out of high school at 15. two years ago i decided to go back and finally graduate while studying from home. everything has been going well, i took my exams and i should be graduating in a month. my parents (especially my mom) want me to find a summer job, and there is a store right next to my house that opened recently where i could work.
at first i was open to the idea: i could just walk to work everyday since i don't have a driver's license, and the owner seemed nice. my dad actually talked to that owner yesterday, he said to go bring him a resume today. so i wrote and printed out my resume and got ready to go but before i left the house i got very anxious. suddenly something about the owner felt really off..
i've only interacted with him twice, but every time he was just smiling with his whole teeth, and last time i bought something he made a joke (a silly joke, nothing sexual) that i didn't understand (i'm kinda retarded when it comes to social interactions) and it stressed me out. he's an older man, he's probably married and has children but i'm afraid he will try to hit on me or harrass me if i work there.
i don't know if i'm being paranoid. is this just my social anxiety talking or should i listen to my intuition?
No. 1199398
>>1198072thank you
nonnie. i actually went and gave him my resume today. hope it all goes well
No. 1209031
>>472051Guys I got a job, like a corporate high level job.
I’m shitting myself because I worked from home for about a year before this.
No. 1213044
File: 1654460248028.png (966.61 KB, 775x1136, tumblr_1c9e1969876e557a9ab3ab9…)
Been living at home since I graduated years ago, lost all my life goals and sense of who I am as a person.
Looking for a job.
I've been starting to go outside again more, walks and whatever.
Making friends is hard too, how do y'all do it?
No. 1216849
File: 1654721384868.jpeg (63.63 KB, 736x490, 1646720850985.jpeg)
My neetdom is nearing its two year anniversary but I'm moving into a new city soon and want to get an entry level job and friends but I feel quite anxious about interacting with people. It definitely feels like being neet has worn down my social skills into the mud. Is there any remedy besides just going out there and doing it?
Current plan is to get a service job and find friends in sports clubs.
Is this realistic for someone who hasn't been working/socialising for two years straight? I'm scared about not being able to stick to a schedule because my time management is so horrible. Not to mention my awkwardness.
I also wanna go to therapy but I feel so weird about it. Do I just write them an E-Mail?
I'm only 20 but I feel like I've wasted my entire life and should just kms already.
No. 1245536
File: 1656538183690.png (187.63 KB, 694x420, im reatrded.png)
So how worthless is pic related if I'm a long term NEET with no relevant experience? I'm looking for transcription or translating work, something like that. I'm bilingual. Sorry for being retarded I guess this is just some Indian sending your CV off to literally whoever but I'm desperate and don't know shit about shit.
No. 1282937
>>1278869congrats,
nonnie! i hope you're doing great!
i'm a recovering NEET myself who just graduated high school and i'm going to college in a month. it's the first time in my life i'll be living alone, far from my family. anyone got any advice?
No. 1283471
>>1283431Lol one of the ayrt here, I had a gap year, got a job, quit, and I've been sitting on my ass since January. It'll be an adjustment but at least I'm learning something useful and getting some new chances to socialize. My friends' friday nights of freedom have been my weekly get-out of my room, I feel like a loser for it. I hope next year will be okay, it'll be turbulent but I hope not that much.
>>1282937You might make some cool friends if you're living in a dorm, you'll get through it I believe in you nonna ♥
No. 1283573
>>1283431kek anon, i wish. i dropped out of high school at 14 and went back (online) at 20. i only graduated this year. so i was an actual NEET for 6 years and barely ever left my house.
>>1283471thanks,
nonnie. i'm not really worried about making friends though. what stresses me out is the lack of sleep and trying to not get behind with work, just like you said.
No. 1283603
>>1283573good news - college is easier than high school in almost every way. you can pick your schedule and drop classes and if you need to take a nap in the middle of the day you can get away with skipping class as long as you're not missing graded work. if you miss an important lesson, you can go to the teacher's office hours for help, and if they ask why you missed the class (unlikely already) you can just say you weren't feeling well that day and they will accept that because students who skip class to nurse hangovers don't bother showing up to office hours.
pay attention to the syllabus for each class, especially the grade calculation parts. if you get overloaded with assignments and can't get them all done in time, prioritize them strategically.
most importantly, if you are seen as a reliable and engaged student by your teachers, they will cut you slack when you need it. follow instructions carefully and do your best work early in the term and the impression will stick.
No. 1283612
I left HS at 17, got my GED which in my home state was the equivalent of a diploma (burgernonnie) so no issues with that. Was in a horrific grooming relationship that enabled my NEETdom. Stayed NEET for about a year until my parents just barged in my room one day and said "nonna, you have a temp job at your grandmother's office starting in one week. If you say no you're out." Took me by surprise, but considering how fucking depressed and apathetic I was they certainly meant well. I panicked, had several anxiety attacks but followed through and managed to do very well. Many people appreciated my polite demeanor and the fact that I kept to myself. One IT scrote who was nearly 40 hung around creeping on me, if you find yourself in that situation just be cordial and ignore any attempt at conversation. Meet any unwelcome advances with stern declines and HR visits.
The positives: Doing well at my job gave me confidence to take control of my life and end the groomer relationship. Fucker had his life ruined on top of it so justice was served. After the temp job I landed a retail position in a fabric store, became manager at 20 and our store climbed to the #2 spot in sales for our district. Quit, landed an office job which grew into another management position. Gained more confidence, figured out what I wanted in life and things got better.
The negatives: absolutely HATED the drama and politics. I couldn't handle it. Before I left my office job I was diagnosed with early stage cervical cancer (due to HPV contracted from that fucker) and I had a minor mental breakdown. Was so sick of the degens in the office I just left. Walked out and never looked back. Returned briefly to NEETdom while getting treatment, moved back in with family but kept the house clean and did meal prep, etc to stay active.
Where I landed: Got the all clear five months later and sought a job as a vet assistant. Met my lifelong partner and we now run our own business. Even have a kiddo. Weird to think I was an absolute shut in until about six years ago. Even when working I never hung out or attended professional functions.
So after this blog post, my advice to anyone trying to leave NEETdom is do not give up and keep moving forward, no matter how hard it is. Life is difficult and shit will be heaped on your shoulders, if you don't like your situation only you can change it. You are absolutely strong enough, you can do it. Make the choice.
No. 1287969
File: 1659542755412.jpg (182.19 KB, 1466x1440, dfdgdfgdfgsgre.jpg)
I used to be a NEET. I like to say I don't really miss it, but I do. Especially now since my life is very unstable. I did not worry as much as I do now. I hated being a NEET, yet it was such a comfort. I miss waking up and doing absolutely nothing. I could focus on my own things rather than live a mundane 9-5 lifestyle. In a way, my life was like that but instead of sleep work eat sleep, it was just sleep eat sleep. Or starve.
Now I work a job I really like. I like talking with others rather than typing or voice calls. My poor social skills have grown. I rely on others less. I think I miss it more now than usual because of the changes that are coming. I am scared. But, I have to be okay. I will be okay.
I still want to become a wife, and eventually a stay at home mother. I really don't see myself as a career woman. I don't want to slave my life fueling money for strangers to take care of my children. I cannot help but think if this is something I really want, or that it is an easy way back to NEETdom. Granted, I would be working around the house, but I just…don't want to work lol. I want to be taken care of.
This is me rambling off the top of my head. Sorry if this does not make sense. I am scared of the future. I want control of it. Is this how I get control?
No. 1287980
>>1287969i think you’re fantasizing about homesteading and childrearing because it seems like a neet dream again, when in reality being a mother to a child who also has to do all the cleaning up and cooking while her husband works, is multiple times more work and stress than a 9-5. don’t fall for the trap nonna. you’ll see a lot of women falling into this same wishful line of thought but it’s just not accurate. it’s a total fantasy. and the amount of men who would be okay with you not working while they take care of you and don’t expect children or for you to be a prostitute for them or do everything they demand… is below 0.05%
i hope your job gets easier and you can relax a bit more soon, im sorry it’s been so rough.
No. 1288011
File: 1659545931211.jpg (31.86 KB, 367x368, zxcvbdfgh.jpg)
>>1287980You are 100% right. I have a dream that will likely never happen, or without even more stress than my current job. It's hard to let go since it has been a dream of mine since I was young. I could never really imagine myself doing anything else, sadly. Right now I am content with my office job (that will end soon though, the company has changed and I can no longer stay. Trying to find a new job for four months now to no avail.) Another job has to come along soon. I have my silly hobbies. I am learning how to be by myself with hobbies or try to become more involved in my church. Like I said before, it's a dream I cannot really let go; something that will still be in my head as everything else falls around me. Kind of like a comfort blanket.
I don't expect myself to find anyone soon too. My last relationship that was almost perfect ended poorly. Scrotes will scrote.
>>1287994>>1287995I did say I wanted kids. I know that there is no sane man alive who is going to work while I do nothing. As I said before, it's a stupid dream I think about at work, and something to cling on during this rough patch in my life. If I can get through it, then I am closer to being married, having children, etc. It's not going to be the ideal Pinterest farmstead where everything is perfect and beautiful. It's going to be a lot of hard work and dedication. Even looking at someone I used to admire for being a SAHM, while I found myself jealous of certain aspects, a lot of it is exhausting, time consuming, and unrewarding at times.
I should fully let this dream go, honestly. The more I write and read, I think I really am just idolizing a 24/7 job as comfy NEETdom. I don't know anymore. Sorry nonnas for being a dumbass.
No. 1288029
>>1288018I am in this situation but I realize how insanely rare it is, and to be honest I often feel guilty for it because I feel like deadweight, which is just my own fault. I think it’s even more rare to fall into a position like this with a man who isn’t
abusive. I wake up so often just wondering how I wound up lucky enough to fall in love with someone like this who supports me unconditionally. But deep down I know I’d be flailing and lost without him and that is a little disheartening. I am, objectively, dependent on him financially. Even though he’s not
abusive I am aware of that fact, and as someone who grew up poor, it sometimes makes me feel guilty and strange. There are a lot of reasons to discourage women from actively seeking this situation out considering how many of these situations end up
abusive, but if one happens to naturally meet a guy like this who is decent, that isn’t worth shying away from.
No. 1288044
File: 1659548475556.jpg (20.45 KB, 234x328, dgdsg.jpg)
>>1288015>>1288018>>1288026I just have a simple dream that will never happen without a lot of luck and compromise of other things. There are men who wouldn't mind having a SAHM/wife, but there will always be a catch. There will be no perfect, loving husbando who can marry and take care of me before we plan children. I still can't help but think maybe there is the right man for me who can give me this, and I return it back to him by providing something he needs. Having this dream, along with a stint of NEETdom gave me a craving I can't satisfy being a wagie. Regardless of that, I enjoy the freedom I have now and earning my own money. I am just afraid of horrible things to come and I rush towards this fantasy as a means of escape. I need to learn to not totally get lost in it and have it guide me into unfortunate circumstances.
>>1288029Hearing this kind of fuels my dream. Even though I just wrote I shouldn't been doing that, I can't help holding onto that hope. Like you and many others making this work, I can see how it may work for me. Not evert man is evil…but there are a lot of men who are. I don't want to be trapped in a horrible relationship yet I have the housewife dream.
Question though, if you are able to, are you willing to look into getting a part-time job?
No. 1292583
File: 1659841937046.jpg (54.6 KB, 564x651, 4a5d0875fcb6f68dcbaa74397d4628…)
>diagnosed with depression and adhd, knew when i was like 12
>bombed the shit out of school, stopped trying after a while
>only friends are online
>depression gets worse, start self harming
>eventually get too lazy to sh
>diagnosed with rare blood condition that worsens mental disorders
>feel like death for a few years
>graduate, do fuck all
>sell nudes because i can't handle a real job (yikes!)
>just updated my resume and applied to different jobs
>working on fear of going outside and started to see the sun and touch grass after years and years of staying indoors
>wanting to go to the gym to help with mental health and gaining more confidence in my physical appearance
>sh free for 2-ish years, no desires to relapse
Things are looking up Nonnas, life really does hit you in the face. I'll keep applying to jobs until I find one and save money, and although I'm introverted I'll try and get myself out there and meet some friends irl instead of online. Feeling really good about myself and after typing it all out I'm starting to feel good about the progress I've made. Best of luck to the Nonnas who are recovering, I know it's difficult, very much so, but you got this.
No. 1292654
File: 1659848614498.gif (329.5 KB, 498x498, omori-kel-omori.gif)
>>1292632TYSM Nonna! Means a lot!
No. 1343981
File: 1663641190967.jpg (21.21 KB, 400x267, blob.jpg)
Anons, how do you motivate yourself to leave the house and interact with society to detox off the dependence of social media/online communication and the NEET tendency to become completely addicted to social media and text interactions? I've found myself recently scheduling "zoom calls" with friends and looking forward to it and that really makes me afraid that I've past the point of no return to be a normal well-adjusted human being (granted these are friends who live in other countries but still). I feel my social skills are barely at a minimum required to make friends and navigate society to begin with, it took me a lifetime of struggling to get even there, and this is just going to antrophate them completely/ruin the last good years of my youth I have left.
For context I live in the business district (inherited an apt from family) of my city which is filled with skyscrapers, homeless/crackheads and starbucks for like 5/7 blocks each way before it turns into normie residential. The actual streets are super depressing and I only leave everyday to get some sunlight/fresh air for an hour. All my IRL friends live like a 20/30 min car ride away or 40 min metro ride in the current hipster district and I actively avoid going there if I can post pandemic (disgusting streets where trash sits for days or weeks, overpriced trendy bars/cafes that I don't want to pay for, high crime, you have to take a private car home at night because the metro is full of junkies and the mentally ill, a girl got raped and stabbed to death coming home at night recently about 3 blocks from my ex's place). I have to plan socializing way in advance and half the time the effort I have to put into getting ready, picking an outfit, going thru the commute, dread of having to spend time in this disgusting ghetto makes me pass on random last minute invitations and I just stay at home in front of youtube like an old woman waiting to die. There are nice parks/museums/cafes/ect to go to in the rich people district but that is also an hour walk/30 min drive from me, just in the opposite direction. This doesn't have anything to do with NEETDOM specifically, just a rundown of why normal friendsmaxxing within my circle isn't working for me anymore, I just end up interacting with them on whatsapp, IG, videochat, ect.
How do anons try to dig themselves out the NEET terminally online hermitic comatose way of living? I "work at home" (like one freelance project where I barely talk to the other people involved more the one a week for an hour) but technically I think I fit moreso the definition of NEET
No. 1345900
>>1344028ntayrt, but I was in a similar situation as you. I would read the driving book twice and really try to understand it no matter how long it took. Thats what I did when I took the permit test the very first time. After that for the driving part my friend helped me get my hours in so I felt more comfortable in the car. I would watch driving tests on youtube for whichever state your in, and I also had driving test apps on my phone.
Honestly though the test was not as bad as I imagined it to be. After you pass there's such a weight lifted off your shoulder that's finally gone lol. You'll be so happy to have gotten it over with.
What your parents think is completely irrelevant, don't listen to them. If all parents could judge their kids' driving none of us would be licensed drivers lol.
No. 1350930
File: 1664042120256.jpg (69.7 KB, 667x651, 1662938225828.jpg)
I flunked out of school twice. I can't seem to get an internship or an entry level job. I recently got fired from my retail job. It's been a full month since I've been in anything. I'm 25 and I feel like my life is over.
No. 1351365
>>1351353I wasn't hitting my sales numbers, I wasn't friendly enough to customers or managers.
I was trying to find a remote data entry job but nothing yet.
No. 1351443
I made a blogpost in the NEET thread but think it might be better off here in the recovery thread
>>1350171Appreciate any input
No. 1354983
File: 1664325978051.jpeg (23.56 KB, 236x236, 616069bb84dff5468a8c18b9_236_2…)
I dropped out of community college and became a NEET almost a year ago (that feels embarrassing to admit but a part of it was they were still doing online classes which I'm shit at compared to in person classes, and I honestly wasn't sure what I wanted to major in/what career I wanted). And in addition to that I've never had a job in my life…I turn 22 in November. I've been meaning to get a job for years but I never did it because of social anxiety and having to interact with people fucking terrified me tbh. But I'm at the point it's really embarrassing that I've never had one and I know people are judging me, plus I've been getting pressure from my parents so I've been looking seriously. After looking around I've resigned to applying to McDonald's since I can barely find any jobs that an inexperienced person could work at, also I don't have a driver's license and there's a McDonald's just down the street. If I get the job I hope I can handle it, tbh I'm worried since I'm so socially awkward but it's not like I have much of a choice, and hey maybe getting this job will improve my social skills. I was also gonna do a class at a local adult school (one that could get me an office job) but the start date got postponed and I still haven't heard anything about a new start date, unfortunately. Tbh I've thought about maybe going back to community college but I was gonna do that other class first since that's what my dad told me I should do but idk. For now I think I'll focus on getting this job and a driver's license. Sorry this was very rambley lol but I wanted to get this all off my chest.
No. 1361015
>>1354983I was in your position for a long time, and I also have severe social anxiety. 22 is young. I didn’t hold a job for more than 8 months until I was 29. All my jobs before that were torturous, and I was white knuckling it every day. I moved away from my parents and got
real mental health treatment (not just my parents screaming at me that I was useless and a freak). Ngl it was very hard at first, and I sometimes felt humiliated by my social awkwardness at work. I got better over time, and now I can look back at those experiences with some humor and compassion for myself. Meds for social anxiety were essential for me. I had so many people basically telling me just get over my psychiatric disorders without treatment. Lol. Now I realize that if I had gotten treatment sooner, I could have been like everyone else. Some people can be really judgmental and incompassionate when it comes to depression/anxiety and think it’s something you can overcome with willpower.
No. 1372252
I want to escape my miserable NEET life but i don't even know where to begin. I haven't done anything in i think.. 3 years now. I graduated from uni and didn't think i could handle further study since i cope with stress so bad so i didn't apply for anything. But instead i did nothing, covid bullshit hit not long after i graduated and i was forced to move countries, now i'm somewhere where i don't speak the language well enough and don't even know how i could get through an interview, i don't know how to even write a cv when i have no work experience and i can't bullshit well in a language i suck at. My health has declined rapidly since being here, got prescribed meds for hypothyroidism that have made nearly all my hair fall out and it still isn't stopping, so now i feel even more scared to try and get a job because it's stressful and i'm gonna end up fully bald at this rate in a month or two lmao. I got a drivers license but i had no one to drive with me so i'm terrified to actually drive. So i have to ask for help any time i need to go somewhere and i feel like such a burden i hate asking for help. I feel so miserable and trapped bc i'm back with my family who were always emotionally abusive and half of them are alcoholics. I don't even know where to start and how to start and if i could at least be healthy maybe i could try and do things but being here is just making me worse and there is no escape, i feel so hopeless. I've never had a job only an internship, i got a lot of praise there but i would stress out so much i couldn't sleep or eat. Now it's been years and i'm close to 30 and still absolutely useless and miserable. I feel like i waited too long and now my chances are even lower, there are no companies in my field here like in my previous country, and we have millions of people come here in the last year, when work was already hard to get… i think at my age it's just over
No. 1376988
File: 1665969122938.jpg (26.28 KB, 800x533, mature-woman-pinching-flabby-a…)
I hate talking to my mom. Unfortunately, I'm dependent on her at 25. I'm trying to talk about joining a gym and I'm trying to find a place that will help me build muscle. I want some help directly. I cancelled my old membership because it was too expensive for me (raised the price after COVID)
I have a mom-bod, despite never having kids. I feel like I wasted my youth being so fat.
No. 1395535
>>1394673remember that you're allowed to omit information about yourself as well. not a neet/former neet but i know i've been asked about my social life in uni before and i was so ashamed of having been a recluse that i always gave awkward responses, either TMI or really bad lies. now i realize i don't need to tell anyone anything so i give minimum info, tell half truths and avoid keeping the conversation going in that direction. if i feel like someone might genuinely be trying to know me better, i simply say something like "it was a really bad time for me so i didn't go out much". honest but not tmi and i generally don't get more questions after that.
stay strong nonna, you're getting back on track so focus on the present and look forward to the future! neet nonna is of the past and your undergrad classmates don't need to know her.
No. 1397708
>>1397703Thanks for the kind words,
nonnie.
No. 1419047
File: 1669228547777.jpeg (97.51 KB, 450x305, 2012-9-25-Spiderhole.jpeg)
I'm afraid of being honest with my mom about flunking college. I haven't told her anything since 2021. I'm afraid of being yelled at despite being 25 and dependent on her financially. I used to have a job but I got fired after not wanting to be around my rude boss and not being able to switch to another department. I have a driver's license and I've been applying to jobs for two straight months and I've got nothing. I fear I'll never be truly independent. I'm a perfect example of failure to launch.
No. 1419264
File: 1669237881868.jpg (124.21 KB, 491x750, each day I relate to dr manhat…)
I used to be a NEET but now I'm doing well academically and socially (top of the class in Uni and go to the gym and generally hang out with irl friends), but I hate it.
I'm doing everything according to the script but it doesn't feel rewarding. Every day I daydream of freezing time and just hanging out in my room on my own.
I don't even want to think about what will become of me once I land a 9 to 5 job, just going in 3 or 4 days a week for a couple of hours of lectures takes mental effort.
Does it get better? Is there a realisation that will hit me and make me enjoy it all?
No. 1419325
>>1419264I have a memory from I think around first or second year of high school where I, edgy teen, proclaimed to my then-friend that she doesn't understand what I mean (don't actually remember what the context was), that I'd never be content in any job or surrounded by any people, and I know that for a fact. And apparently I did know it for a fact, as basically any "achievement" I got past immediately soured and I just want to be in my room all day and not strive for things that'll leave me disappointed or that I diminuish in my mind later anyway.
I'm not even a NEET anymore, I go to uni and have a part-time remote job "in my field" (it's really just a glorified data entry job in our department), but I cannot motivate myself to make friends or """network""", I just really have nothing to say to people or am interested in what they say if they expect me to answer in kind.
No. 1434783
>>1434747You just gotta rip the band-aid off and go for it
nonnie. Worrying about your age and lack of life experience won't give you any. Applying for your first full-time job and finishing the degree/ switching majors to something you're more suited for will.
No. 1436441
File: 1670445332378.jpg (29.33 KB, 500x363, 1c8ebefdd678df0e344aea67424864…)
Is anyone else trying to blend in with normies?
I want to learn to do makeup, despite hating it with my whole heart. Because around others it looks insanely obvious that i am not good even at the basic makeup. I want to properly learn it but i still hate the makeup industry and the fact how a lot of people enjoy consuming it for no reason. I still want to learn to look cuter with a small amount of makeup.
I also want to get into better haircare too, my hair are really sensitive, picky and tend to frizz a lot. I style everything with iron and apply protection spray, but i do wish they would stop being so frizzy.
No. 1436459
>>1436441I know plenty of normie women who don't wear make-up unless they're going out maybe. I'm slightly amused your idea of blending in with normies is wearing makeup and de-frizzing your hair. To me larping as/blending in with normies means having friends and a social life and spending your time in a society-approved way or pretening that you do. Maybe it's a location thing.
Anyway if you insist on trying makeup, just get a mascara. It's easy, cheap, normie and the most basic-but-visible makeup there is.
No. 1436481
>>1436441I blend in with normies well enough. My mother in all of her based Stacey glory ignored my autism diagnosis, which forced me to camouflage most of my weirdness.
Makeup and frizzy hair isn't what's throwing you off, it's mainly in personality. Most normie women don't bother with makeup beyond mascara and lipgloss unless they're going to an event.
No. 1508830
File: 1677326590374.jpg (77.39 KB, 720x900, maxwell.jpg)
Hope it's ok to bump the thread.
It's been nearly a year since I quit my last job and since I became a NEET (again). Mentally it's been rough lately, the feeling of being useless, I can barely make it through the day without crying. I randomly applied for a job and will look for more postings… I hope that someday I can just get used to a job and keep it for a longer period of time. Even if it's just so I can have a routine and talk to people so I can feel human again…
No. 1508856
>>1436441Why bother to learn something you don't enjoy? Masochist much? Give it up, you won't get any rewards for ENDURING.
>>1394673Weak.
Be proud of your NEET years. During mine I made 0 progress in the eyes of the society, but what they gave me (family time, time for hobbies, the blackpill) is even more valuable than 'professional development'.
No. 1508933
>>1436441I work in beauty, specifically hair, with makeup you are better off investing in your skin than your makeup, I'm meant to wear a full face at work yet I never wear foundation and get away with it due to good skin, but honestly as long as everything is blended you will get away with basically anything. Personally I do eyeshadow, blush, a bit of concealer and lipgloss.
hair is harder in my opinon because I swear there's a million things that could be wrong, and sometimes you need to strip the hair and restart with good products, but something that helps me with frizzy hair is right in8 front of the straighten use a comb, so the straighter directly follows the comb (like use them at the same time) I have naturally dry frizzy, wavy hair and this helps me a lot. The problem with good hair care is that it's expensive
No. 1509046
>>1508856>Be proud of your NEET years. During mine I made 0 progress in the eyes of the society, but what they gave me (family time, time for hobbies, the blackpill) is even more valuable than 'professional development'.I thought I was the only one who felt this way. I feel like I've learned so much about myself and
society, what I truly want in life, my values. Now I've got the rest of my life for professional development and shit. I truly feel so comfortable with who I am and I wouldn't have been the person I am now or had the same mindset if I wasn't a NEET for years. I swear you can learn a lot about society from being "outside" of it. I'm just grateful for the experience and getting that perspective, because it's actually pretty rare.
No. 1511817
>>569926How do I get a job like this?
Btw I’m in Canada and it’s soooo hard to get a job with the feds here. Application process and review can take up to 2 years. But I’m a NEET and have all the time in the world to kill.
No. 1511897
>be me just graduating college, no idea what to do, no friends, no work experience, no social skills
>very mentally ill so live at home with my parents until I'm 20, parents also mentally ill and abusive and we all just enable each other with no friends
>WFH dad, disabled mom, NEET me = nobody ever leaves the house basically
>do this for like four years straight, want to die bc I hate being NEET so much and am so incredibly lonely
>spend most days addicted on online MMOs or just chatting on random image boards and other garbage websites, chronically online or gaming desperately trying to fill this void of no friends, no family (besides abusive parents), no bf/gf, truly hated myself
>started applying to jobs so I could lie to long distance friends and pretend I wasn't a NEET bc they were all normie and I wanted them to think I was too
>had interview for office position, overprepared like crazy and came off awkward and insane
>somehow got the job????
>had a paycheck for the first time in my life
>abuse from parents hits all time high
>dad kills my pet
>time to go
>moved out with like 3 suitcases and nothing else in secret, didnt tell parents what i was doing or where i was going
>coworker drives me to new apartment and suddenly i have my own home
>cry for like 5 years straight bc i had to learn how to be an adult and functional and my parents didnt teach me shit
>finally become mostly normie, have good group of friends, go out frequently and go to parties, have casual relationships, all the shit my NEET self used to alog about because I was so jealous to my core and thought it was just never going to happen to me
>things are chill but still mentally ill and never really form any romantic friendships
>all my friends are settling into long term relationships
>some have kids what the fuck
>just me being me still
>slowly losing friend group
>no longer go out as everyone is busy with partners or children
>start WFH so no more coworkers
>slowly fall back into NEET habits like being online too much
>scared everything is going to go back to how it was, that I'll never have friends again and will never have a partner, trying hard not to spiral because I would rather die than go back to how I lived before
Well. Idk what to do now.
No. 1512611
>>1511897that sounds really fucking tough, sorry
nonnie. is there anything you could commit to outside the house that you might enjoy? regular hobbie meetups, exercise classes, that kinda thing? even if you don't meet anyone you click with there, it's at least keeping one foot in "real world" and time not spent online feeling shit about yourself. I'm still a loner prone to NEETism but over the years have developed an interest and a habit in spending more time outdoors, whether it's walking, going on the bus and visiting nearby places or nature photography etc. I used to have a lot of hobbies at home but get so lazy and depressed and never focus on them. getting out the house is key for me. I don't have an answer for the emotional maturing/adulting thing since I am in the same boat, but just want to point out that you are comparing yourself to normies, which is pointless. you're not gonna have the same foundations and are still having to learn the hard way. you still being you is OK (sorry for the cheese but it's true)
No. 1513098
File: 1677776359869.jpg (122.56 KB, 1080x1080, jazlynn.art_549890419_p_300772…)
I have no formal education due to being home schooled and managed a year and a bit of college before dropping out due to mental health, namely social anxiety but depression too. Was a burden on my family for so long and that only made my mental health worse. Got on benefits and that helped because I could now contribute to the rent. Basically feel like shit all the time stressed about everything, constantly self-sabotaging. Skip about 5 years of that and cost of living is getting worse and I'm really feeling the pressure. Mental health had improved thanks to meds and changing my way of thinking recently. Decide I either need to get my shit together for good or kill myself because what's the point. Every job needs you to have experience, of which I have zero, and references. Manage to find a volunteer job in a charity shop and they actually want to meet with me after talking on the phone. If I can get this experience dealing with customers and working the till maybe I can get an actual job. I'm feeling so hopeful anons, I need to do better for myself. Wish me luck.
No. 1513172
File: 1677780642884.jpg (18.27 KB, 350x351, 1671856386988.jpg)
>>1513098best of luck, can I also suggest taking up an exercise or hobby, physical progress has proven links to help with mental health
No. 1513218
>>1513147Thank you anon
>>1513172Thank you, I actually went on a walk today for the first time in a while and it was great. I'm definitely going to try and keep it up because it clears my head and I have a hard time sticking to more I intense exercises.
No. 1520637
File: 1678502958956.jpeg (96.32 KB, 564x564, shy.jpeg)
>>1516245with your social anxiety, do you feel like it’s that you fear rejection / not being liked or that you simply don’t enjoy socialising, regardless of the anxiety and find it difficult? the reason I ask is because I realised it was the latter for me and this really helped me realise that making people like me was not my goal and that got rid of a lot of anxiety, just knowing that. I still get stressed and avoid socialising because I genuinely just don’t crave it or enjoy it for more than a couple of hours and find it overwhelming, but it feels like more of a challenge than a living nightmare that I have no control over. it’s sort of shifting the burden onto the difficulty of socialising as a task (external) rather than all the vague feelings of what could go wrong if you mess up or can’t deal with it (internal), if that makes any sense.
t. girl who would turn beetroot red and almost pass out if someone so much as gave me eye contact No. 1524506
File: 1678906501364.jpg (13.22 KB, 564x554, 4a0f526a98efc9561113fea824a5b8…)
Im 23 and i feel like a useless piece of shit. I study but im to slow and dumb, i persist because my family values college, i like my field and it can give me some stability on the future.
I cant get a normal job because i dont have experience, im old and when i had one i couldnt find the time for college.
And I fear someday the weight of being a nuisance will make me kill myself. But I like living, i like making art, and learning. But the weight of not having any value for society and my mom having to work for me kills me. Why cant I be good, normal and functional.
No. 1524905
>>1524506>>1524506Sick of the weird zoomer rhetoric that makes early 20's kids say shit like "I'm old". You are not. But one day you will be and it will still be ok.
Not sure what your material concerns are with regards to getting a job "at your age" - is it lack of experience for your CV? It's not your fault, you've been in education. Where i live it's normal not to have a proper job until you leave uni.
I'm 27 and my early-mid twenties were completely defined by impending dread and a feeling of being a scrounger who contributes nothing to society. I have now quit freelancing and volunteering and live off state benefits and mentally I'm doing better than I ever have and will be able to get back to the workforce with a much more functional mindset soon enough. I'm sure your mum loves you and is perfectly willing to support you. Take care of yourself, your independence will come in time.
No. 1525253
File: 1678994831377.png (265.34 KB, 680x680, 1660821352583.png)
I was a neet for only one year from 2019 to 2020 and had two jobs and started uni since then (I'm in my early 20s) but I feel like I'm still fucked up from that plus years of being bullied and friendless as a kid. I'm socially adept, extroverted, people say I'm charming and funny despite being a little weird so it should be all good right? But I still don't have any friends, have no one to go out with on the weekends, never went on a vacation despite being able to afford it and so on. I feel so out of place because I have nothing to do outside of uni. I tried to socialize but people prefer their own established friend groups and the people who I did technically befriend are either busy with work or spend most of their time with their moids so we see each other very rarely. Anons, does it ever get better? I'm missing out on so many things even though I'm supposedly doing everything I should. When I had a full time job I made a friend, people at uni like me and talk to me a lot when we're there. I'm friendly and charismatic, I dress nice, take care of myself and know how to pass as a normie, I try to go out as much as I can even though it feels pathetic to sit alone in cafes. It's unfair. I should be proud of myself for getting a scholarship and polishing my skills but I feel extremely depressed instead. I started drinking a lot to cope with sitting alone in my room so much. I keep telling myself it'll be better but I need to do something about my life before I wake up one day and realize all my life has passed by. Jfc I wish I was a normie so bad
No. 1525267
>>1525253Hi nona
.When I was a student at the university I was part of “friends group “ although it made university more fun sometimes it came with a lottttt of downsides. People are fun when you don’t involve with them so much. It’s good to hang out once or twice whenever you can.
I was never good at keeping friends because
I couldn’t keep up with the drama it was so
toxic I had to pull away.
I’ve learned that spending time alone is really fun but you need to enjoy your own company. I don’t know if you have a family member you can share and trust to rant about your day with but it’s better to rant to someone who cares about you rather than to someone who might change within a blink of an eye.
Believe me anon I knew this the hard way.
Enjoy your time alone.
No. 1525294
>>1524905>>1524511Thank you nonnas <3.
I just feel like shit because even though I was “in college” on 2020-2021, I was depressed and rotting on my room instead because it was virtual, I tried but I didn't do much. I feel like last year I was just starting out on life and I already feel old. I'm so isolated that I don't even know what normal people at my age do.
No. 1525537
Hello nonnies. I’m an autismchan daughter of a narc parent who used the autism to “convince” me it incapacitated me to study or have a job as a control measure. I am terrified of working and convinced I am worthless in the work force, which I want to get over.
Narc parent has finally been cut off, but so was the financial aid I got, obviously.
IRL, I move and talk retarded enough I get side eyes navigating customer service situations, though I can use transportation by myself, make phone calls, handle my finances and have “scripted conversations” like asking for directions reasonably well. I am also good at self teaching but have failed more than one college attempt due to relationships with classmates and deadlines-work load, but I really want to get at least a part time job, both for the income and for the experience of actually leaving the house and to stop being so scared.
What part time jobs make for a decent baby’s first job? How does one even start hunting for a job? Do you need to make a resume even if you’re applying to be a cashier at a supermarket? How do you handle the anxiety of interacting with co-workers? How much does it take to get desensitized? I’ve been told autists are expendable and it’s really easy to get fired, how true is this? I have never been taught any of these things.
Thank you for the help. I am really scared, especially of getting fired but this is a step I really need to take.
I also have help from the other parent if that adds any information.
No. 1525627
>>1525537>What part time jobs make for a decent baby’s first job?It depends. Any minimum wage job is fairly easy, as long as your boss isn't insane. I worked at a public library as my first job and loved it. Those jobs are rarer tho, but I would work in a super market over fast food (Fast food is insanely fast paced/busy).
>How does one even start hunting for a job?Look online for "jobs near me". You can use indeed (website), or you can even just walk in and apply. I walked straight in to apply for mcdonalds. They literally accepted me on the spot.
>Do you need to make a resume even if you’re applying to be a cashier at a supermarket?You need to make a resume to put your phone number/email/way to contact you so they can call you if you get the job, or so they can contact you. You don't need to put much on it. Google "first resume" and just copy the template straight.
>How do you handle the anxiety of interacting with co-workers? How much does it take to get desensitized? I’ve been told autists are expendable and it’s really easy to get fired, how true is this? I have never been taught any of these things. I think how easy it is, how the vibe is depends completely on your boss. I loved my boss at mcdonalds and at the library. They were great and super nice. It was super easy to work with them even as a socially anxious person. But when working at another place with a different boss, it was hell on earth. My true advice is to try and stick it out for two weeks to a month and see what your boss and coworkers are like. Are they nice? Snarky? Actual psychopaths? They will make or break your work experience. Maybe even ask a worker there if their boss is crazy. Some people will literally tell you "don't work here, it's crazy". Since it's minimum wage, if it goes bad, just tell your boss you're quitting, no need for a two week notice at smaller jobs. I wouldn't say it's that easy to get fired, unless you don't show up to work, are late, or steal stuff. If anything happens, you can always apply elsewhere. Good luck.
No. 1525991
File: 1679067354159.jpeg (3.57 KB, 269x187, wilbur.jpeg)
>>1525381Just wanted to say I hope you get used to the routine soon! I also started volunteering today. It's tiring but I'm so happy to have a reason to get out of the house and like you I really want to feel normal again to do regular work.
No. 1530595
>>1530576I was thinking 25-32 (5 year gap) and widening as I got older. My definite cut off is 21 though. 23 isn't bad though.
He's 20 turning 21 so I'm not even sure if I want him. It's good to think about though. I don't want to make people feel "used" or "groomed" just because I'm older and I reciprocated.
No. 1531749
>>1530559I think age gaps tend to be a case-by-case basis with life experiences and how you meet being the most important parts (there's a difference between meeting someone who is on equal standing but just happens to be slightly younger like as a classmate or coworker than seeking out younger people on apps), I think someone who is 23/24 would be okay to date as a 27-year-old.
I honestly find most age gaps weird, but I worry that since I was NEET during my young adult years and don't have as many experiences with my peers, I might have to be more open to them. I wouldn't go for anyone younger or older than 5 or 6 years, though (my cut-off is 25).
No. 1541638
File: 1680730072764.jpg (1.8 KB, 244x245, Tumblr_l_5408386181323.jpg)
I've been wanting to get a part-time job (i want to do that for starters as i dont know how much my health will handle) so I could get a free healthcare and support my closed ones (along with my cat).
I am really worried and I wonder if anyone could give me any tips.
>I live right next to a tiny mall, there is a chance i could be a cashier or something in one of the stores
>I am an immigrant. I know the local language, understand 80% of what they say and can speak back with no accent, but i am generally a quiet person
>i am really worried. I can't carry heavy items/bags in general because of my disease. I can't fix it as it chronic.
>Ive got two official certificates for passing A1-A2 lv language exams, but i don't even know what to say and do if id ever get an interview
>I always go to the mall to buy food for cats and myself, i do tend to seem like an alien or aloof. (But thats just me overthinking) Grocery store clerks might probably find me weird despite me dressing nicely all the time. Still, theyve seen me look at my worst too.
>not saying i will want to apply for this specific grocery store of course, there are a plenty
The inflation keeps kicking this countrys ass for almost 5 years now, even neighbour countries food prices are cheaper despite having smaller salaries. I am tired.
No. 1543476
>>1542226I think she means A1-2 because she said she's an immigrant and learning C1-C2 levels is going to be very hard.
>>1543367Don't quit college
No. 1549133
>>1549118>Get out of bed>Make your bed>Brush teeth, wash face/shower etc>Get dressed>Make a cup of coffee>Have breakfast>Start your daySome other tips:
>If you drink coffee, many drip coffee makers have timer functions. Prepare your coffee the night before and have it start brewing 15 minutes before you normally wake up. The smell in the morning will help you get out of bed.>Start a sleep routine and go to bed/wake up around the same time daily. This helps with falling asleep and waking up easily.>Wake up at least one hour early before your day normally starts. Two is better. Then you have time to do your morning routine and kick back before going on with your day.Hope this helps Nona
No. 1551392
>>472051I'm married 2 years now, I had a job original that was decent and pertained to my field, but we moved states and I had to give it up. I now have a year long gap and I'm pregnant which makes things more difficult. My husband has a nice job that pays for everything, but I have gotten in this awful slump where I've been waking up late, staying up late, doing nothing, I feel like I'm withering.
I want a job but we're moving again in a month to yet another state, then moving to a different state YET AGAIN 6 months after that. The moving will end after that because we'll have a house, but I feel bitter because I lack purpose or motivation and it's killing me.
I need something to do but we aren't staying in one place long enough for me to get a job. When we settle I'll have a child too.
Maybe I should feel greatful I don't have to work and can ride this indefinitely, but this empty life is pretty fucking draining.
How do I turn this sinking ship around? I wish I could do my own business or do something online but I'm not sure where to start.
No. 1551394
File: 1681679912470.gif (12.22 KB, 320x320, 3HJxYDs.gif)
I quit my good paying city job early this year because it was always high stakes and my boss was always yelling at everyone for 8 hrs straight. I lasted around 9 months there before i had a mental breakdown and quit. The CEO begged me to stay and even offered me to work remote full time. But I was so embarrassed by my mental breakdown I declined the offer. My biggest regret.
I decided that I was going to "focus on myself" and get my youtube channel going again (i have an extremely small following from like a decade ago but i still have viewers who ask me to post again). Do the hobbies I didnt have time for the usual. Instead these past 3 months I've spent in my room wallowing in self pity and depression. It was literally the worst idea to quit during the start of winter because my seasonal depression kicked in full force and it made me not want to leave my room. I blew through my savings in record time so now im in debt and I honestly want to die. I am 29 years old and I feel more lost now then when I was 24. I had so much hope back then, I got my first apartment, was at a good paying job and was even doing improv. But BOOM the panorama hits, everything shuts down for like a year and I stopped caring about anything. I felt like everything I wanted to do has already been done on tik tok by someone much younger, prettier, and smarter than me,.
I hate not working but I totally get why I quit that job because like I said my boss was literally bat shit insane. Im talking she would come into the office screaming you could literally hear her before you saw her. The 1hr commute was also too much for me and riding the subway and seeing just how fucked society is caused me to want to go into hermit mode asap. I have no drive, no motivation and no ambition. The first thing i say when i wake up every morning is "WHYYYYY". It also sucks because my sister is the exact opposite of me. This whole time i've been holed up in my room she has gone back to school, worked 2 jobs at once, traveled with family etc etc. I know I shouldn't compare myself but its so hard not to. I feel like such a failure as an older sister.
I do feel a shift though since the weather started getting nicer but i'm scared because this is the longest I've ever been out of work. I feel out of it now. I've been in my room for so long that now i'm scared to leave the house except to maybe go to target. But even that I have to mentally prep myself to do like at least 24 hours in advance. I so badly want to be the type of person that's like "I want to bake cookies, let me go for a walk and buy the ingredients real quick". Instead im like "i want to bake cookies, that means I have to find something to wear, make sure my airpods are charged, make sure my phone is charged, and im not going at peak times and THEN i'll go.' I have to do a whole ritual just to leav e my apartment. Its so foul. I feel so abnormal. Like i'm a shell of a human being. I am so stunted I feel like I'm mentally 17. Its embarrassing and not quirky or cute anymore. I want so badly to return to the woman I was before who would just go to the city by herself for fun. now the thought of entering the city feels me with dread because I feel like everyone is judging me. Its so stupid.
No. 1576124
>>1566399work from home gigs only wind up accepting the top of the top people since they get like 700 applications for each position since society is full of asocial retards after the pandemic. You are not going to get one. Apply to entry level positions at local companies, particularly small companies. They're likely to be shit but you need to get some experience under your belt before anyone non-shit is willing to take a chance on you.
Plus getting out of the house does good things to your brain even if you are an introvert and hate it the whole time.
No. 1578582
File: 1684187251968.jpg (500.35 KB, 1078x2048, 1673368298920.jpg)
I am a neet. I have been a neet for a year. How the fuck do I get out of it? It has caused me to be afraid of public spaces. My social anxiety has reverted back to when I was a child. I was doing so well last year, I could stand up for myself. Now I am unable to even tell a lady "no" to a $300 order. There was a study that proven that housewives who worked part time had better social capabilities, and it led them to be more happy. I want a part time that's not around customers.
No. 1578640
>>1566399what's your major if you don't mind sharing? If you have two degrees, try applying for in person entry level office jobs. They don't care what the degree is in, they just like seeing you have the dedication to do it and you won't quit/leave in 6 months. It will also make your resume much more attractive to entry level jobs in whatever you studied, because again, it shows you at the very least have the ability to commit long term without issues. It looks better than retail or a warehouse when you transition. Going outside and interacting with people everyday will also do you good. Depressed people need a daily routine. ADHD and autism also require routine and stability. Staying home everyday, or not having to leave the house, so you don't have to do a morning routine, commute to and from work, and interact with real, live humans actually isn't all that good for social creatures like humans.
See if you can pick up a part-time or hybrid job in some office or something. If you have a bachelor's, (or your countries equivalent) you can apply to work in school systems.
No. 1578694
File: 1684195313698.png (52.1 KB, 548x366, Screenshot 2023-05-16 at 01.00…)
I was a NEET for a long time because I've always had shitty mental health, so while I was getting therapy I was living on welfare that my country provides while I was trying to get better. I'm by myself so I was lucky to get that support, but I was so lonely and so bored, as well as insecure of being a NEET in my early twenties while all my old peers had moved on, gained careers and moved out of my shithole town. Once I started getting better I decided to go back to university to finish the degree I dropped out of, and because of the cost of living crisis I had to get a job too. Things have been going well for about 2 years since, I've made a lot of friends and feel like I can be myself. I have savings for the first time ever. But lately, in the last month or so, my confidence has plummeted and I'm not sure why. I'm suddenly feeling so insecure and paranoid that people hate me. I'm wondering if it's the cumulative stress of working nearly full time while also studying nearly full time, as well as constantly socialising, particularly because I work in bars so I have to maintain being social all the time. I've been feeling depressed, not gonna lie nonas. The last few days I've been crying non-stop and I'm scared everything is going to collapse and I'll be back at rock bottom. My deadlines are fast approaching and I feel so behind. It's my final year of uni and I'm worried I've tanked it. I'm worried I've rushed into things too fast and should have eased out of my NEETdom more slowly. I just want to be successful and well-adjusted but I feel like I'm failing.
No. 1580830
Anons discussed at the beginning of thread how working part-time as a teen is good for you, and I just remembered that I wanted to work in high school but my loser e-boyfriend talked me out of it, criticizing the options that I had even though he worked different jobs as a teen himself. Later, while studying at university, I wanted to work, too, but people I told about it (my mom, sister, friend) didn't get why I would want to get an unskilled job instead of just working in my specialty. Maybe I could, but I definitely wasn't ready for that and I've always had the imposter syndrome. I know it's pretty pathetic to blame other people for my decisions, but yeah, their reactions did affect me and I started having doubts about the options I was considering. I used to be almost a straight-A student in primary school and I could do some things much better than my peers, so whenever I did worse than expected people would get disappointed and tell me it's not my level, this shit still controls me even though that peak performance was only strictly in primary school, and later I sabotaged a lot of things and was known mostly as "lazy but (secretly) talented/smart", and once again, I would just get these disappointed looks and hear that I'm lazy a lot and it's like it became my main quality (I just had untreated depression for years and no one cared). That's why I ended up not getting an unskilled job back in the university days: people around me thought it was below me so I started to think it was a loser choice but I still didn't feel like I could do something "better". My parents are so out of touch, they would always say something about "a good company", like everyone just waits for me there despite me not having that much of a valuable experience. I know it's stupid but it makes me feel stuck, and I'm kind of angry with my relatives now even though it's meaningless, too. None of them actually achieved something but everyone knew exactly what I should've been doing. I wish I didn't listen to anyone and just tried doing something.
No. 1581498
File: 1684492248585.jpg (38.61 KB, 500x375, tumblr_odj0xsEJ0E1vai64fo1_500…)
>>1581380Good luck nona I know you can do it!
No. 1586807
>>1580830Are you me anon? Same with being lazy but "secretly talented" or something, I think people just don't wanna believe that we just get tired more easily or aren't high-achievers despite our "potential". I had untreated depression for years as well, I managed to treat it and I'm well now, however now my family believes now that I'm depressed since I'm neeting and use it to dismiss everything I want and say. I've been trying to get a part-time job for years since I'm unable to get into university, and my family always talked me out of it and makes the process more difficult for me. Now I'm no longer lazy or dumb since I should go to university and I would be able to enter if I just tried! (I can't, I fail even the entry exams and have been studying to get in for 2 years now). According to them I'll be a loser with a shit job for the rest of my life if I don't enter, I'll be mistreated and unable to handle a job, and how will they tell their friends that their darling isn't in a top name fancy university?
Also they recently cutoff my allowance since entry exams are soon and they want to "motivate me" to go to university, and I "don't value their money" by wanting to go to work instead of studying more. I'm unsure how that's supposed to motivate me instead of getting a job and making money for myself but oh well.
I don't feel guilty about being a failure or being "the black sheep of the family" anymore though. I wish I didn't listen to them for so long. I might already have gotten a job, I don't care how shit they are, I just want to do something and make money, doing nothing for years is worse than having a shit job for years, and then getting into university later. I wish you luck too nonna.
No. 1587061
>>1578640My two degrees were computer science and math lmaoo. When you say to apply for an office job do I just search for office jobs or are there specific terms I should look for? I’ve been taking daily walks lately but I still don’t interact with people. It does feel nice to go on walks though.
>>1576124Yeah I really did become an asocial retard after the pandemic. I lost hope for a work from home jobos I’ll have to apply to in person jobs and just get over it.
No. 1587080
>>1587061I relate to you nonna. I have a CS degree from a really small school and was too stupid to do any internships in college, so I couldn't find a job even with hundreds of applications. I aged out of new grad positions so now I'm just going back to grad school and hoping for a do-over.
If you're open to teaching that's also super easy to get into, especially this time of year and probably looks okay on a resume.
No. 1589873
File: 1685249519294.png (658.6 KB, 1677x1206, 1582069606219.png)
Haven't read the whole thread yet but just want to vent. Living off my partner (who is well paid) and he keeps pressuring me to get a job. I don't mind working but no one will hire me and it's really getting me down. I've sent over 100 applications in the last few months. I would have sent more but I can't find more jobs I'm qualified for. I told him I'm happy to do online stuff like transcribing and try to earn a set amount each month but he says it's not about the money but about having a job so he doesn't feel like my parent.
My work history is in a pretty niche area and I have terrible grades because my parents made me study something I didn't want and I've since realized in person learning just doesn't work for me. I've some some online courses and got excellent grades but not a full degree yet. The degree I have already has zero remote jobs so completely useless. I only got my previous job through my partner but work dried up.
I'm ND so I can't work a basic in person job, tried and failed many times before I got my late diagnosis. I'm also terrible at interviews. Only had one so far and they treated me really horribly despite marking myself as disabled.
It's so frustrating to see people dumber than me being employed because they aren't ND. I'm tested as having a high IQ, taught myself multiple languages, constantly learning. I'm a perfect worker on paper. Happy to work extra for no pay as I just like working on projects, always making things more efficient, great at problem solving and thinking up ideas, quiet, and whatnot. But social cues outweighs all of that.
I hate capitalism and humanity in general but I also hate feeling like a child compared to my employed peers. I don't like feeling like I could become homeless if my partner decides on a whim that he doesn't like me anymore. He's showing signs of depression which includes lashing out at me and I just have to take it. It's making me question the relationship a bit. I can't leave though as I have no friends and I'm no contact with my abusive family. My partner and I are long distance right now but we will be together soon and I'm kind of dreading it. My (housewife) mother used to call me a leach for not being able to find a job right after graduating and it feels like I'm back in the same situation.
I also worry about the future. I'm likely never going to own property or have any or sense of financial security. I'm always going to be at the mercy of others and there's nothing I can do about it. Even living a minimalist, off grid, self sustaining life is out of my reach because that requires minimal income or savings. I'd love if I could time travel and join a monastery a few hundred years ago and all my time in quiet learning and reflection.
Anyway, thanks for reading.
No. 1589915
File: 1685260099055.gif (1.19 MB, 2952x3047, e0a.gif)
It's not so much a preference as it is a possibility. Last decade was essentially the nu Great Depression (given the void of intricacies you went through when it came to just applying).
The trick is to make money one way or another. That's why I just either freelanced or even commissioned dA art online (both equally as successful with the traffic I got) around that time before garnering more experience until I had proper work.
Pretty much like learning new things: practice, and perseverance, makes perfect.
No. 1589931
>>1589873I'm sure you'll make it someday anon
But for your partner to be selective in what kind of job you get instead of being supportive of ANY job with the excuse that he feels like a parent if you work from home…
Well I would end the sex right there, using those words against him. Actually at this point you SHOULD want to get a job in order to now get out from under his roof because he's not looking out for your own well-being like making sure you can support yourself; it's a weird controlling demand and he's becoming
abusive (don't let his "depression" trick you into thinking it's okay)
Make his stupid silly demand backfire on him when you do get a job and a new bf
No. 1589938
>>1589873Your bf is right. Wtf would you do if he dumped you? He's trying to get you to be independent on your own in case something happens and no matter how much he makes it's actually really hard to survive with a single salary and seeing your partner laze around and excuse her laziness by using autism probably annoys him.
>>1589919Go back to trad tiktok, retard. Depending on a man financially is the reason why most abused women can't leave their marriages/relationships. Every person should be able to provide for themselves.
>>1589931Are you stupid? Some anons really do think like femcels. Like, if anons been failing to find a job even though she applied 100 times, how the fuck do you think she's going to magically get a job + a bf that's gonna be willing to provide? Do you think men are actively looking to get autistic freeloading NEET women that'll live in their house rentfree?
No. 1589947
>>1589938I'm
>>1589931Calm down, I'm for the hope that anon will become a normal self-sufficient adult esp. if her bf dies or kicks her out but I am able to see it's ridiculous how he won't allow a WFH job, any income is great for the time being
I'm not telling her to continue being a NEET and if she's able to get a job and finally live independently then I'm sure she can find a new bf esp. if he isn't ever made aware of her NEET-past and she intends to never fall back into it
But check out 4chan's /soc/ "Adopt a Neet" threads to see for yourself how some guys look for girls like that. With you being so fired up, I'm sure you'd have a field day posting over there
No. 1590012
>>1589908>Sorry anon that's a tough situation to be in. How about volunteer work? Would that solve your partner's issue of "feeling like a partner" because you'd at be doing something even if it isn't paid? Sadly, I don't think so as that wouldn't make me independent, which is what he wants.
>Or apply for disability money so you at least have small stream of income again hopefully fixing his issue?I think I'm stuck in the zone between being too independent that I won't qualify (I'm late diagnosis and they are pretty strict in my country) but also too ND to actually get a hired.
>>1589931>But for your partner to be selective in what kind of job you get instead of being supportive of ANY job with the excuse that he feels like a parent if you work from home…Sorry for the confusion, he is supportive of work from home as he does that too. He just wants me to get a real job and career. Like another anon said, it's about being more independent.
>it's a weird controlling demand and he's becoming abusive (don't let his "depression" trick you into thinking it's okay)Yeah, definitely feels a bit
abusive. His previous partner was also a NEET but didn't want to change and I think he is taking out his frustrations from her on me a bit. Not much I can do about it.
>>1589938>Your bf is right. Wtf would you do if he dumped you? He's trying to get you to be independent on your own in case something happens and no matter how much he makes it's actually really hard to survive with a single salary and seeing your partner laze around and excuse her laziness by using autism probably annoys him.He makes over $10,000 per month and our expenses are low. It isn't a money issue. I'm not using being ND as an excuse, working in person just does not work for me for various reasons, not that anyone will hire me. I really wish I could take a basic wageslave job. I hate being a NEET. It's embarrassing and infantilizing. I hate having people dumber than me interview me for a minimum wage job and get rejected.
>>1589941>You can still do that. Monasteries still exist and function as before.That's true but I'm sure they still exist in the way I imagine (high up a remote mountain, days spent hand writing books in solitude). Biggest problem is that while the bible is one of my special interests, I'm not religious and I think I would struggle to fake it everyday. I also don't think you can shut the rest of the world out in the same way as the did then.
>>1589947>I'm not telling her to continue being a NEET and if she's able to get a job and finally live independently then I'm sure she can find a new bf esp. if he isn't ever made aware of her NEET-past and she intends to never fall back into itNo, he is aware of everything. I wasn't a NEET when we met though as I worked a couple of exploitative jobs, though they all fell apart.
Thanks for the replies everyone.
No. 1590023
>>1590012>his previous partner was also a NEETAnd if you don't get a job, you'll probably also be a past-partner, kek. He might be earning as much as he wishes but he's still obviously unhappy that you're dependant on him, which is actually a good thing. Usually
abusive men want women to be dependant so they can't leave while normal men want to be sure that the woman in question isn't with them out of convenience, which it seems like you kind of are.
In either case, I hope he dumps you and you use that to encourage yourself to become independent
No. 1590087
>>1590013>You don't have to imagine, go on a field trip to visit some monasteries and you can see for yourself whether that kind of life attracts you.I did some googling and I think being a hermit might actually be more what I'm dreaming of. I'm not really a people person. I would be curious to try a monastery for the experience though.
>>1590023>In either case, I hope he dumps you and you use that to encourage yourself to become independentSorry to disappoint, but we actually ended up talking about the situation again now. He seemed a lot more supportive now and didn't realize I had applied for so many jobs. I think he had been reading about how hard it is to get a job where I am and I think he was also stressed recently about something else too. He also said I shouldn't be passive if I don't agree what he is saying, so less childlike in attitude too.
We agreed I should complete my final year of my second degree and then look to do postgraduate study. Before he seemed a bit annoyed that I kept doing random courses that seemed to go nowhere. I'm looking into applying for a grant so I have some independent support (if I qualify). I will continue to look for jobs and sign up for some activities to get out the house a bit. I'm also going to try again with in person jobs relevant to my first degree but only ones that suit my needs (I wasn't diagnosed before so maybe it will be easier if I disclose).
I guess I'm still stuck in a child like situation without much independence that all my peers moved on from years ago but at least it's a little bit of progress.
No. 1590089
>>1590059She'd just move in with her family, don't be so dramatic. Would you let your NEET bf leech off of you and refuse to ever get a job even though you told him many times? I personally wouldn't, most people won't be attracted to a NEETs unless they're creeps who wanna have a partner who cant leave like
>>1589947 mentioned.
No. 1592060
>>1590089She said she isn't contact with her
abusive family, learn to read before you make claims.
No. 1592098
>>1592095let people be
toxic sweetie
No. 1592122
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>>1592068I'm not a NEET, and I use LC even when I'm on company time. It actually helps me work sometimes; I make a few posts, get back to work, and wait a few hours to see if I got any responses
No. 1592209
I was a NEET from 15 - 19. From 19 - 22 I escaped NEETism, however due to my inability to understand people, situations, intentions, life in general, I went and fucked my life up in that period and am now a work-from-home mom who's parents refuse to pay for any more education and discourage me from working anywhere except at home or a very small, close-by, simple job.
Now I'm almost 23 and have realized that I'm slipping into NEETism, so I've signed up for a social club, going to start therapy, am on new meds which help me come across as more "normal" in social situations, and am making an effort to pursue self improvement and hobbies.
I'm not diagnosed with autism, however I wouldn't be surprised if I was autistic. I didn't realize covering my ears as hard as I can, looking at the floor, while swiftly walking away from loud sounds was abnormal or a sign of autism. I physically can't make eye contact, it feels horrendous. Certain noises make me FURIOUS and always have. My entire life I've been the "weird kid" despite my effort into fitting in. Depression and a few other mental disorders make me feel absolutely retarded. Autism would explain a lot actually.
No. 1593058
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>>1592209>NEET from 15 - 19you were in high school and then you had a gap year
No. 1595142
>>1593350I used to feel that way too, but in practice most people get rejected from many jobs before they get made an offer. It's not about you, even very charismatic, skilled, experienced workers are competing and struggling. It's hard, but you have to try and detach yourself from the process as much as possible.
I used to just apply to as many things as I could, barely even reading the job description (only enough to fit in whatever buzzwords they had in my cover letter), so whenever I got rejected/contacted for an interview I couldn't even remember what the job was, and I didn't feel strongly about it. Applying in the first place was still tiring, but it helped me take things less seriously.
No. 1595609
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I’m a former NEET due to a mixture of bodily pain and mental issues that took a while to be resolved I’ve finally managed to start school. I really hope I can make it nonnies
No. 1595722
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>>1595609You can and you will, us Former NEETs are all with you.
No. 1595724
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>>1595722Thank you! How awfully sweet of you. I give you a big kissy anonita.. have a beautiful flower I saw with a beautiful inhabitant
No. 1595840
>>1595729Lol why are you even in this thread? It's supposed to be support for people wanting to move on, not hating them for struggling.
Fwiw, it was physical and emotional abuse since I was born. I took the first job I could find after high school and moved out a few months after graduating.
No. 1596200
>>1595918lol le epic troll
Nothing I have posted is even that interesting or identifying, not that I'm dumb enough to have anything to find. No one cares that a NEET posted some vague details about being a NEET in a thread for NEETs.
Since you sound like you are 12 let me break it down for you. No one gets an ED page or a Kiwifarms thread or a lolcow thread or whatever solely for being a NEET and especially not if you are actively trying to do something about it. The core issue of all cows is the inability to see their own faults and grow. Actively making a positive change in your life will instead lead to your threads drying up or even being deleted.
No. 1597893
>>1596979stay strong and get away from them
nonnie, they might very well be a big part of the reason you have mental issues, that isn't normal or healthy parenting, they need to respect your boundaries change as you age and learn to treat you according to your age and needs and not like a little child
No. 1599522
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I started with a new therapist this week and told her about my situation, we will have weekly sessions and I'm really just tired and hoping things can get better. My sleep is fine now and I'm kind of eating decently and showering, so everything else needs to be in order for me to return to functionality because I've been disabled for too long. I have appointments I need to make and go to but it's difficult with chronic pain. I'm wearing a back brace recently and it hurts, but slowly I have to make changes. I want to learn how to be healthy in body and mind the right way and be more active and exercise. It's scary and I feel like I'm too autistic and retarded for many things. I want to experience joy and interest again so that I can have hobbies and self improve as well
No. 1629929
>>1629241Nonna I was in a similar situation to you almost a decade ago, except I did have a tiny bit of experience working for my family business. To get a proper job I took a bunch of cheap customer service/admin courses (like $20 ones on Reed. They usually come with a 'diploma', which isnt a 'proper' qualification, but shows initiative at least. Plus they're usually super short and easy) which padded out my CV and made it look like I was in education at least. You could also do a bit of volunteering, just one day a week won't hurt.
God speed nonna. Rooting for you.
No. 1629939
>>1629241workplaces don't pay 20-year-olds more than they pay teenagers, you'd get paid the same as a teenager. unless they're doing some seriously shady shit.
anyway 20 isn't late for your first job. if you didn't need to get one until now that's good, you're fortunate to have some support in your life.
No. 1630201
>>1630194which ones?
some categories greatly diminish your motivation and that's a well known fact. looking at antipsychotics specifically but antidepressants, for example, can do that as well.
No. 1652573
>>1652318Sucks anon, sorry to hear. But props for giving it a shot/putting yourself out there
As others have mentioned, put volunteer work (I got my first shitty retail job last year at 23 from high school volunteering and embellished tutoring claims). Hope all goes well
No. 1652615
>>1629241I feel you, nona. I wanted to have a part-time job in high school so I could assess how fucked I was for irl life, parents denied because they assumed I just wanted the money and they just bought me what I wanted instead of listening to my cries for help. Instead of getting mild trauma and figuring out what problems I had in a semi-safe environ, life kicked me in the face mercilessly once I was told to leave the house and get a job.
>>1628628From someone who turned her life around with these, _don't_ plan your whole day out. Start small and increase slowly. Make small goals for yourself to build habits.
Don't plan out your whole day. Plan that you are going to do X task, and make sure it's a task that you can do. Use timers and pomodoro method if needed. Don't write 'I will review Spanish for an hour' if you have not done Spanish before.
Write instead 'Do Spanish for ten minutes'. Then do Spanish for ten minutes. You can continue after the timer ends. This way, you build up the 'focus' stat in your brain, while also getting enough confidence to not give up when you are sick, in bad shape, etc.
No. 1656324
>>1652569..oh. Thank you,
nonnie.
>>1652573Thank you too. I'll try again.
No. 1699942
I'm a former NEET but still completely friendless & isolated outside work, yet far more successful at life than I used to be. Don't know how long this phase of my life will last.
If I lose this job, I know I'll end up becoming a NEET again and depending on my parents again.
I lucked into my job through a recommendation and got to prove myself directly in the role as opposed to an interview. If I lose it, I don't know how I'll ever deal with the job hunt and the disappointment that comes with it. All you nonnas putting yourselves through that are far stronger than I will ever be.
I know I have to work hard to update my skills and learn new ones. But I'm just not motivated, and I feel content with my current role. My company sucks and people are leaving daily because they're so fed up with how things are being run. I don't know how much longer I will last here before being laid off.
I'm so fucking tired, depressed and constantly anxious that I'll lose my job. I'll likely spend the rest of my working life miserable like this no matter what role I end up in. I wish I could win the lottery and keep what I need for retirement & give the rest to charity so I can go back to being a hiki. I fantasize about my retired life every day.
I was thinking about FIRE (early retirement) but I don't get paid enough to start that. Inflation is killing my salary. Rising interest rates will destroy any hope I'll have of owning my own property. I'm tired & mad at the world. I'm just gonna lay the fuck flat, quiet quit and never bother to integrate properly with society out of my sheer anger at the way things are being run into the ground by my local government.
I'm in this weird semi-NEET state where I have to work to sustain myself, have to own a car and buy a minimum amount of groceries, but I refuse to go out and spend money on shit outside my NEET hobbies, which are all based overseas anyway. Eating out is too expensive and you have to drive miles to the city to do anything interesting here. I'll just stay at home and doomscroll all day in this barely-furnished living space. Fuck it.
I've recently taken to getting rid of my stuff in an effort to be more minimalist. I want to own & physically consume as little as possible. In the event I have to adapt to having less money, I'll be prepared since I'll own less and won't need to consume as much, so I won't really notice the difference in living standards. "You'll own nothing and you will be happy" is my mantra now. I've been selling all my weeb shit online, from my NEET days. I can't bear to look at that stuff anymore out of sheer nostalgia for the "good days" when I was worry-free.
I don't know what I'm even living for, other than to survive. I'm just ticking the boxes so I can continue my standard of living. I wish I could move to a LCOL country and live the way I want to, but I'm too antisocial/cowardly to make it work. I've never left my country and the only language I know is English, and a bit of Japanese (JLPT N5) from my weeb days and after taking a Japanese course or two in college.
My stupid cope is that I'll meet a guy who's also a weird shut-in but not a porn-addicted incel degenerate. We can navigate this shitty life together. But 99% of male NEETs are gooner pedophile incels, so that will never happen. I have a better chance reintegrating into society than someone like that ever entering my life.
No. 1700321
>>1699942You sound kind of hot and I'm basically in the same situation. I would makeout with you if I was locked in your apartment with you.
t. autist mtf tranny
(USER HAS BEEN PUT OUT TO PASTURE) No. 1701155
File: 1695047630023.jpg (184.61 KB, 1280x1662, florfy.jpg)
Applied to a job. Now I wait.
No. 1702227
Was a NEET for much of my young adulthood after dropping out of uni, I've had a job for the past 2 years but it's WFH and I still live at home, I speak to no one outside my immediate family and all my coworkers are middle aged so I don't really have any work friends. Even non-anon online communication has proved too much for me and I have no online friends either. I have a lot of money saved since I spend hardly anything, but I feel as if I haven't progressed from my NEET days at all.
I've basically been coasting along trying not to think about it but since hitting 25 I've become anxious about aging, wasted youth, my family members dying of old age and having no one left, etc.
I have no idea how to move on from this state, I can't navigate the real world, I've never been in a relationship, hardly spoken to anyone my age in years. I never really grew out of my all girls school mentality and am uncomfortable around men to a degree which is probably obvious. I'm really ashamed of my current state so end up closed off on the rare occasions I do have to socialise with anyone. I feel really guilty because I was raised as someone expected to be a high achiever, all my childhood friends went to top universities or are doctors or lawyers now and I couldn't even get through a year of uni.
My mindset keeps shifting between 'I'm just too special and talented for this world, their loss' delusional mania, despair and self pity over my current situation, or alternately ignoring my real problems to enage in paranoid tinfoil doomerism about the state of the world before snapping out of it and realising I was being retarded.
I was feeling really bad last week and actually called up the doctors for meds and therapy, but I feel alright now and like I overreacted. Though I kind of wonder if my current apathy about the state of my life is a bad development because I've become even more detached from reality.
No. 1703210
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I feel so abadoned by the people who surround me. They've never give me guidance and choose to ignore the piece of shit I am, but they don't let me die either. I appreciate this space and you, nonas. We are lost together and I wish you content.
No. 1703247
>>1703210same
nonny, that's why I love you all very much
No. 1709632
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>>1701155I saged for good luck, but I haven't heard back. I hope I didn't get ghosted. wth, man.
No. 1715484
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>>1701155>>1709632Ok so they didn't ghost me. I have an interview today. I will do my best for the girl reading this.