File: 1614808158625.jpg (46.8 KB, 639x420, ocd.jpg)
No. 753524
>>753508Nice to have a OCD thread, I’m just gonna share my story. I have contamination OCD and it started in early puberty, I was institutionalized with 14/15 which helped a lot.
My OCD is kind of strange since I rarely get intrusive thoughts and my fear of contamination is completely based on feeling, meaning that if someone who doesn‘t „feel right“ or who I believe is „dirty“ touches something I have to clean it/can‘t touch it. I have a bad relationship to my father and he physically abused me as a child, put me under cold showers to be specific, which I believe is somehow linked to my OCD motive. As a child, I already exhibited behaviour which in retrospect also looks like OCD symptoms, for example I absolutely hated giving specific children or people my hand in elementary school.
I took sertraline for 4 years but had to stop because I was developing heart problems. It helped a lot, but I‘m honestly not ready to sacrifice drinking alcohol and doing drugs to take meds, it‘s stupid I know, but I am functional and my OCD mostly manifests in my relationship. I‘m very controlling of my boyfriend in regards of contamination. He has to adhere to many rules to keep my „OCD system“ running.
My compulsions are mostly washing/disinfecting things, showering and some random things like having to wear socks in bed. But to me, the worst thing about OCD is having spent half of my life with it, it feels like a part of my personality. I‘ve almost grown comfortable with it.
No. 753541
>>753524Thank you for sharing your story!
I'm not sure if I'm 100% ready to share mine, but I'll continue visiting this thread from time to time.
My mom has OCD, although it's way better than it was before. I guess I just inherited it. I suspect my dad might have some sort of compulsions too, because he washed his hands a lot.
For me what
triggers me the most is food and things that my brains deems dirty, plus I suffer from some intrusive thoughts and paranoid thinking, although those used to be way worse. I think I need to specify, a lot of people that have OCD tend to think of themselves as bad people because of their intrusive thoughts. Some people think they're criminals, sinners, murderers, incestuous, or pedophiles, even though there's no evidence to support this, your brain just keeps repeating that you are, and you both feel disgusted at the thought and you try to escape it as much as you can.
For me one of the things that made me feel like a pedo was watching/reading made in abyss even though I didn't like the pedoshit in it, I only like how cool the setting and story are. This series is completely ruined by the author and the fandom, or maybe this series was just doomed from the start. Now since learning that the author is an actual comfirmed pedo with a torture kink made me reconsider, and now I don't like it or support it anymore. And I don't feel guilty, the thoughts disappeared. So yeah. If you have OCD and have these thoughts, please get help.
No. 753639
File: 1614827234630.gif (24.09 KB, 60x95, c3e3842e-fca0-42ed-97f1-6dd32a…)
>>753508I can't stop making bets against extremely arbitrary
Something as simple as
>"If the light turns red before I get to the stop light, my best friend will die">"If I finish washing my hands before my boyfriend comes downstairs, we'll stay together forever." >"If my boyfriend comes upstairs before I finish these dishes, he doesn't love me"Writing these things down makes me definitely feel extremely mentally ill.
Other things that I do
>Tweezing my hairs on my body and scalp>Sticking sharp things in my ears>Fixation of death/people I love dying>Sexually intrusive thoughts about literally anyone including family members and younger people>Speaking of sexual intrusion, I used to have a ton of sexual compulsions when I was younger: making out with playmates, oral sex with playmates (NO I was not molested when these things started to happen, I watched way too may movies that I shouldn't have as a kid), masturbation, putting dolls mouth's on my vagina>Violence intrusive thoughts about hurting people/fighting people>If I don't pee directly before going to sleep (after lights out) then my body will keep me awake until I go pee And I won't even have the urge to pee most of the time. I just squeeze as hard as I can. Otherwise, I will literally be up for HOURS>Hoarding anything, including trashMy hoarding is manageable because the people who love me help me. They are nice when I get very nasty about my stuff. I had a panic attack once and a complete meltdown because my parents hired maids to clean my room.
I have a multitude of other problems and I wish there was a world where there was a word for them being combined. ADHD, Autism, Paranoia, OCD…. is there one word for that? or is it just autism
No. 753645
>>753641You would think that with my OCD I would remember to double check my fucking posts but no.
*Seek out professional help.
No. 753654
>>753639Oh god, is making arbitrary bets an OCD thing? Is there official terminology for that? I thought everyone had those thoughts to some degree. I make bets just like you do, "if my boyfriend doesn't reply in 5 minutes he hates me" "if I don't walk a certain distance in a certain amount of time I'm going to die"
I was sexually exploited extensively in my childhood, I've also been diagnosed with PTSD and autism so I'm not sure if my intrusive thoughts can be attributed to that? I also have much darker thoughts like sexually abusing children/animals, posting my boyfriend's nudes everywhere and ruining his life etc. even though I would never ever do those things. It puts doubt in my mind though, that maybe I am really a horrible person and eventually I will?
No. 753657
>>753654Anon, I've struggled with those exact fears and I was molested when I was very young. I have gotten to the point of asking p
*philes if they think I'm one and the answer is always no but still I freak out about that shit. Arbitrary bet is almost always part of OCD. If you haven't got a diagnosis already, you probably do have OCD. People with autism often also have OCD.
No. 753673
>>753654for me it's more like "if i don't finish this before a song ends i will not have a good life" or "if i don't get to this area in time i will die" it's so fucking scary because at some points i truly truly believe my life or future is at stake.
i do this all the time while on lolcow, fi if i'm listening to something and i don't post it before the song ends i feel like something bad will happen it really gets in the way of me living sometimes, i hate it.
No. 753712
Some days ago I noticed I might have a big obsession and compulsion about food!
When I was younger I was very into the proana and promia stuff but never followed for more than a month or two at a time, because I would then binge eat a lot. Years later I still binged without the ED stuff going on but I did it out of self harm, just to stuff myself so much because I felt disgusted about myself. So maybe I had a bit of a binge eating disorder.
But through the years the thought of only eating "clean" food has stayed with me. I can eat anything if I put my mind into it, because I'm jobless (thanks pandemic) and I have no option than eat what my mom makes for me, aka fattening food. But if I had a job I know I would obsess over only eating chicken and berries. Since that's like the cleanest stuff for me. I think I hate most vegetables because of the weird textures and coldness they have, unless they're inside a sandwich or something. But I also obsess over the fact that I want to eat quick stuff because I dislike cooking everyday unless I put intention over it. Dunno, I think chicken and berries are my safe food, unfortunately I eat anything but that. I want to die tbh I want my mom to stop making me fat.
Like ok sorry I'm gonna make a list of safe food here
>chicken
>berries
>milk -but it has to be good quality one-
>yogurt icecream (but not normal yogurt for some reason)
>guayaba
>mango only sometimes
and sometimes…
>club sandwich -it's good-
>some sushi, some noodles, but not all
>some pizza brands, not all
>some ice cream, but not all
Is it weird that I'm this weird with food? Should I take vitamins too? Sorry for this long stupid post.
No. 753814
I do not personally have OCD, unless trichotillomania counts (I don't think it does, though it's vaguely related).
My partner does and has been taking Zoloft basically all of the time. According to him, it helps… but from my limited POV, it probably makes the situation better by like a half. He still has plenty of symptoms that make his (and our) life difficult. IE when I pick up online orders, I make sure to dispose of the packaging either before I even arrive at home or when my bf is at work. Otherwise he will spend like an hour disintegrating the package: ripping of duct tape from the box, meticulously popping bubble wrap, separating any plastic foil from the cardboard etc. I order a lot of things online, so imagine what would happen if I came home with 5-10 boxes! He would spend the entire day 'preparing the trash for recycling'… Oh, and once he sees the boxes at home, I'm not allowed to trash them or he falls apart. He is a big control freak when it comes to keeping house clean. Things have to be done his way, in his order etc.
This is one example. My question is: is it normal for OCD meds to not completely remove sperging? Do you guys have any experience with Zoloft or replacing it with other medication?
Also I will appreciate any advice on living with an OCD partner because I am interested in hearing what other people with OCD have to say on the topic.
If I'm speaking out of the line, my apologies. Feel free to ignore this post then! or dunk on me kek
No. 753876
I don't have OCD, I have ADHD, but there is so much overlap with my symptoms that I wanted to post too I hope that's ok
I have the typical violent or disruptive type of intrusive thoughts like I'm going to stamp on a helpless animal or smash all the glassware in a store or jump off a train platform. I will need to get counseling if I ever have a child because of this. I feel kleptomanic urges and shake with anxiety when I'm going past security staff because I'm scared I'll have accidentally stolen somehow.
Also I know this is normal for most people with traumatic experiences or anxiety but I have intrusive flashbacks of those events or just really, really embarrassing ones even for no reason. Talking to people or podcasts can distract me from intrusive thoughts but nothing makes them easier to deal with when I'm alone. Sometimes I will shout or groan in public when I'm trying to shake the thoughts off and forget my surroundings which is embarrassing.
I'm ritualistic, I'll always use the same seat, toilet cubicle, mug etc even if I didn't originally choose it myself or even like it. I separate the components of certain foods out and eat them in an order or set arbitrary criterias for when I'm allowed to do certain things. I have the body symmetry compulsion an anon talked about before, where if I feel something on my body then I need to replicate that feeling to the same place but on the other side of my body.
I usually don't realise these behaviours exist until I'm around other people and discover I can't do them without looking weird. Fortunately there are no irrational beliefs that these rituals will lead to or stop anything but I don't feel right without them.
I also hyperfixate on random tasks, which is standard ADHD but also seems to overlap, I have given myself bladder infections because I couldn't stop what I was doing. This gets worse when I'm stressed and so can get in the way of important things.
Looking at this list I can see how people rack up so many diagnosis labels when there is so much overlap
I'm fortunate that these compulsions aren't that bad, my thoughts are with those of you with actual OCD who suffer from harmful compulsions
No. 753890
>>753777Yes, I mentioned in my post that I tweeze my skin a lot. I have some sharp pointy tweezers that I use to dig under my skin and pull the tiny hairs out, causing it to bleed. These are hairs you cant see with a naked eye so I used a magnifying flashlight app on my phone. Usually causes blood.
I have had full blown panic attacks when I could find my tweezers,so much so that I bought 3
Also I have a compulsion to stick sharp things in my ears.
No. 753902
>>753812>Though I still tend to do physical rituals like knocking on wood. Got into a full blown fight with my boyfriend for not knocking on wood.
It's the one thing I absolutely refuse to fuck around with
No. 753907
I was diagnosed with OCD a few years ago, albeit a mild case that’s contained okay by my bipolar meds (lamictal). It developed after a traumatic breakup and bout of depression where I was hardcore depression nesting. Basically decided to keep things clean to try and help my depression, and it turned into an obsession, ie “if my space is messy, my mind is messy, I will get severely depressed again, etc.” I’ve always had compulsions as well as quirks and “rules” even before that (like I haven’t eaten an orange m&ms since 8th grade bc “they’re bad luck” and that idea got stuck in my head; I eat all other colors in a certain order, though), and when describing them to my doctor, I think that’s why she identified OCD as well, not just being neat. It’s not so bad lately, I can function without things being completely pristine now, but I still stop to clean way more than the average person at work, home, etc and reorganize, disinfect, and refold things constantly when they don’t look right or I change my mind on how I want it to look. My OCD is very appearance and cleanliness based, but I’m not a total germaphobe in the sense that I’m not afraid to really get into gross stuff in order to get it clean, but if it looks or feels bad (dusty, sticky, I know something was spilled but not disinfected when cleaned) then it freaks me out.
No. 753925
>>753876My boyfriend has ADHD as well and there is a tendency to see overlap especially with intrusive thoughts. OCD, ADHD, and autism are all commonly diagnosed together.
Honestly, violent intrusive thoughts are scary but the first thing we learn in ERP is that a thought is a thought is a thought. They don’t mean anything either way. Unless you genuinely want to do these things/enjoy them and have to fight yourself not to do them then that’s an issue you should resolve. Everyone gets intrusive thoughts but not everyone gets severe distress. There are people with OCD who are so unsure if they’re trans or gay, they’re not actually trans or gay but they’re so anxious about the possibility that they will continuously get intrusive thoughts about it.
Also the fucking kleptomaniac fears lmao, I used to check my pockets and purse just to make sure I didn’t steal. I’m still very anxious about being accused of stealing.
No. 753949
>>753639anon, are you me?? The only thing in your list that I don't deal with is the hoarding, I tend to be overly neat. Are you on any meds? I got really lucky and zoloft works well for me now.
The arbitrary bets thing is so hard to talk about, just like you said it just feels so mentally ill??? I'm afraid someone will think I'm schizophrenic, even though
I know the bets are all fake and they mean nothing. It's so hard to explain. Mine are like "If I don't correctly spell onomatopoeia by the time the red light turns green, my brother will starve." I've been doing shit like that since I was really young.
I'm starting to understand why OCD is being lumped in with ADHD, Autism, Tourette's, dyslexia etc. Unlike depression, anxiety and other mental illnesses, OCD can be observed in pre-adolescence or even as young as 5.
No. 754267
File: 1614897928487.png (276.56 KB, 1236x474, hbjkhnl.png)
>>753905Not saying you don't have OCD, anon, but people on the the spectrum tend to be hypersensitive (including a lower tolerance for pain and discomfort which can lead to hypochondria). This can be a potential explanation for extreme and overly fearful reactions to external stimuli, though I don't think getting an additional diagnosis would be harmful. It's one of the most common comorbidities anyway.
No. 755412
File: 1615012631659.gif (45.98 KB, 440x352, woolf.gif)
as a kid:
>terrified of going to the bathroom alone, so much so i peed outside for a while until my mom found out
>ate just the same meal after school for years because i was scared of eating something new. (i was force fed as a kid too, so maybe this is apart of it?)
>couldn't eat in front of people because i thought we would disgust each other with our chewing (wtf kid-me why were you so weird).
>wore the same hairstyle for years because i thought people would stop talking to me if i changed it.
now:
>doing the sign of the cross over and over again spontanteously. i just get the "feeling," i'm sure you all know what i'm talking about.
>saying/typing "satan" makes me really afraid, and i say "begone" multiple times in my head. (kek)
>intrusive thoughts that everyone hates me, i'm a bad person, my thoughts aren't genuine and i'm doing everything for attention or some sort of motive.
>can't have my hair completely up in front of people or they'll see my facial scars and be grossed out.
No. 755438
File: 1615018953193.webm (834.6 KB, 576x1024, 9ba68f2e46b6e78c344abfe215f4a2…)
>>753508>>753654>>753657>>753673which one of you ladies made a tiktok of this?
No. 755514
>How strong is your OCD?
If I give into the delusion, I am fundamentally hurting my health.
>How does your OCD manifest?
If I don't do x, something bad related to my trauma will happen to me.
>What do you think of the stereotype of cleaningness?
It is something I struggle with. I feel like I have to have my own toothpaste, my own shampoo, my own soap, my own leftovers… If I believe my boyfriend (or someone else) touched my portion, I have the belief he put drugs into it and I want to throw it away or see him use it first before I do.
>Do you have intrusive thoughts?
Yes, a lot of them are irrational and I get panic and anxiety attacks over them on a weekly basis.
>How did you figure out you had OCD?
I developed PTSD from something traumatic, it got bad enough where I developed agoraphobia, disordered eating, and neglect my daily hygiene because of these thoughts.
I've been going to therapy for my trauma for over 6 years, but just two years ago I started to recognize a lot of my issues stemmed from the resistance of intrusive thoughts. It's really helped me feel more in control pin pointing why the anxiety I go through is related to giving into irrational fears. It's still tough to go against my anxious mind. Like taking a big leap of faith.
No. 755973
>>753777i know this post is a little old but skin picking is my worst OCD behavior, its like the only symptom that actually makes it hard to do everyday tasks. i pick and chew at the skin around my fingernails to the point that ive rendered my hands basically useless on a fe occasions. idk fully why i do it because it doesnt relieve anxiety its actually a behavior that creates stress in me because i know im only going to go overboard.
does anyone else with checking behaviors check things repeatedly because they just can't remember if they did something or not (as opposed to having to check or repeat things a certain number of times)? i dont have a bad memory in general but i feel like i have a blind spot when it comes to locking the door. i literally have to stop myself and say "you definitely locked the door, you JUST did it & its DONE" or ill get to my car and wonder if i forgot
No. 755977
>>755578>Has the incidence of obsessive intrusive thoughts decreased for youyes!
>those intrusive thoughts don't cause as much anxiety anymore?Some of them are still there, but I can manage them better. I think, being completely honest, lolcow made my intrusive thoughts go up, but now I can manage better and don't take anons here for face value. Therapy and friends also help me snap outta my stupid shit lol.
>is it the same but those intrusive thoughtsSometimes, but thank god I haven't had newer ones. My intrusive thoughts are not so hardcore anymore I guess? Like, the thought itself.
>How long did it take from when you started taking citalopram for it to start working?Like 2-3 weeks, daily, I started with half a dose and then went up the entire pill. A psycheatrist chose it for me because I also have depression and ADHD. I guess talk to your doctor to see if it works for you!
No. 755985
File: 1615080699378.png (390.47 KB, 500x375, tumblr_npc9y364Ph1qbhakvo1_500…)
>>755860Well, for me personally it has helped me manage my OCD thoughts better, but that's also because I have a good support of people and I've had therapy before. The pills are not magical, I won't lie and tell you they solve everything and magically you don't think about bad stupid shit anymore. My cleaning hands compulsion has gone up for example, but that's because of the pandemic we're living in. But citalopram has helped me be more optimistic, if sometimes I'm a bit more hyper. I used to take fluoxetine -prozac- and it made me feel miserable lol. I was either in a bad depressive sleepyhead mood or very manic and it didn't help. I think you should get the right medication, like I said it really does help but it's trial and error + therapy.
Also not to be dumb but this picture actually helps me out, there's many other methods and phrases like these, try to find the right ones for you or talk to your therapist and they'll tell you about similar coping mechanisms
No. 756001
>>755980ill tell, idk how helpful it will be for you.
i was obese all my life until i was 19 and discovered calorie counting. i thought i did things with a good mindset for probably that 1st whole year, then began dropping calories below 1000, and it just sort of became more consuming from there. i wasnt too fussed over what food i ate, i would weigh & measure things to make sure they fit my calorie budget. i stopped eating beef because of the environment, and i gave up pork because i had never really agreed with the texture. the latter could be ocd related i guess, ive always been sort of~sensitive~ to food textures. my behaviors were pretty consistent from like 2016 to the end of 2019, mostly high-volume low-calorie foods, but there wasn't any food besides the 2 meats that i straight up didnt eat. covid basically changed the restricting behaviors, i couldnt be nearly as picky when purchasing food, & i fell back on eating to cope with stress. staying under a certain calorie limit just fell off of my priorities list. i also live with my husband now & cook dinner for us both every night, so my focus has shifted to creating
high-quality meals over any other focus.
so restricting issues OUT …. contamination issues IN? the "dead thing" issue with chicken obviously, but also worries over under-cooking the chicken, or not having clean enough hands when i prepare the chicken. if my husband cooks its even harder for me to eat the meat because i cant confirm how safe it is since i wasn't the one cooking it. he's never undercooked the chicken yet, but ive still psyched myself out of being able to eat it several times. i really dont have any anxieties with non-meat.
whew…. sage for wall of text
No. 756055
>>756001Ugh I hate chicken so much because of contamination issues, I totally get it
I feel more or less the same for every uncooked meat though
No. 756097
>>755577Thank you, I'll give the higher dose a try.
>>755860Escitalopram or other medication has helped a lot of people with OCD to manage their condition, but 20 mg of escitalopram did nothing for me.
>>755977I'm glad that you've been able to manage your OCD, I wish you success in keeping up the fight against it
No. 757087
File: 1615230414201.jpg (46.4 KB, 750x638, 7fec0cb21ef31f3e1b26ce57f4e07e…)
Some days ago I noticed that, whenever some minor inconvenience happens, my brain goes from 0 to 100 real quick, with a lot of intrusive thoughts
Example -not what happened but I'm gonna use it as an example-
I do a bad joke
Nobody laughs, or someone finds it offensive or whatever
I think I'm dumb, stupid, crazy, disgusting and beyond redemption, I should die and I feel guilty, thoughts racing super hard
I feel bad even though the joke was some minor mistake
But somehow making that joke means the parents of my boyfriend will never ever love me and they'll hate me (I haven't even met them kek)
Anyone with this problem? Is it my OCD or ADHD?? how the fuck do I stop making my own self feel like shit
No. 757101
File: 1615231697830.png (787.88 KB, 1000x999, headful-01-01.png)
ocd really be feeling like this
No. 2424174
Does anyone else have "pure O" / "rumination" OCD? In the past year or so I realized that 99% of my many mental struggles are OCD, despite never ever suspecting that was my problem. And I don't know how to cope with that realization. I can't talk to anyone about it because I don't think they will believe me because i have no external traditional OCD behaviors. But I struggle so much every single day and being conscious feels like being locked in a tense battle with my own mind for every second I'm awake.
I made a post in another /ot/ thread a few days ago
>>>/ot/2413629 and some nice nonnys told me what i described sounded like ocd and pointed me in the direction of this long dead thread. So I'm taking their advice and reviving it. I think I just need some people to commiserate with. If you have OCD and feel like sharing your story, I would like to read it.
No. 2424187
>>2424179I apologize, I am not well versed in the terminology yet so I might not be using the right words. I didn't know rumination was considered a compulsion. But when you describe it that way (brings temporary relief to "overcome" an anxiety) i'm sitting here like holy shit. That is what is happening in my head.
Not all of my thought-issues are like that though, sometimes I just feel like I get worried about something and then overthink it and then overthink my overthinking until it really fucks with my head. But is that OCD then or just anxiety? For example, I know this one sounds really bad, but, I get very nervous around black people because I get scared that I will somehow accidentally give off the wrong vibes and make them think I don't like them in a racist way, so I concentrate on acting normal but that makes me more nervous because now i'm nervous that I'm not covering up my nervousness well enough, etc etc, and then the stupid thing is is that in reality I don't actually think I act weird at all, I think I come off normal. Despite it all. So why am I always paranoid I'm suddenly going to become racist and make people feel hurt??? That's just one example off the top of my head…
No. 2424199
>>2424187Yeah, I've struggled with OCD since I was a child. I really recommend you do research on it, how compulsions and intrusive thoughts work, how they can go hand-in-hand and what egodystonic/egosyntonic means, they're good basics.
For your question, OCD is an anxiety disorder, so that overthinking could be… Both, I guess? I wouldn't worry too much about which label it applies to though
No. 2425013
>>2424174I feel like I have a blended type? idk if that's a thing or if I'm just munching. I practice physical compulsions for some of my obsessive thoughts, but I also have real event/false memory OCD and the compulsion with that is not any particular physical action but me constantly ruminating over the event and questioning whether it was real or not
anyway I'm here to ask if anyone else's RE/FM OCD involves a taboo subject. I've been trying to find support online for mine but so far people's OCD revolves around things like "was I rude to my friend 5 years ago in middle school" or "did I accidentally steal a nail polish from the pharmacy" and stuff like that
No. 2425939
>>2425132Heh, I was actually way more anxious when I thought one person I get obsessed with from time to time could've died. It made me much more irrational because I had this stupid intrusive idea that he became a spirit and could see me somehow. I don't even believe in this stuff generally, but it bothered me for a few days and made me behave unnaturally as if I truly could be watched. I understood how irrational it was but couldn't relax until I saw that person online again.
Do you do anything to get rid of these obsessions, nona? What exactly bothers you? I'm curious because I only recently realized this shit can be a part of OCD. This alone helped to trivialize it, at least.
No. 2428286
File: 1741096702528.gif (1.1 MB, 498x273, IMG_0611.gif)
Does anyone’s OCD haunt their dreams? I’ve finally been getting pretty good at not giving into my OCD topic after years of struggling, but I still have regular dreams about it. Last night I had one, and when I woke up I immediately started engaging in my OCD trigger and behaviors that I had been successfully avoiding… it feels like I can’t escape, even when I try, the most I can do is control my conscious thoughts— but my brain reverts all my efforts in my sleep.
The weird and frustrating thing is, when I was actively giving into my OCD over the past couple years, my dreams were always so peaceful. I could even dream about my trigger and the dream would always be normal and not OCD-tinged. But it’s like now that I’m suppressing my OCD in my waking life, it comes out in my dreams. Like it’s some living creature avoiding my whack-a-mole hammer.
No. 2430011
>>2428286>>2425013i guess one of the worst "episodes" i had was because of a taboo dream. i had a dream that
my brother raped me and for the next few months all my thoughts revolved around that, and i continued to have dreams about it. it was so god awful.
because of that, my thoughts eventually got more taboo and it literally made me sick. even on an anonymous board i don't wanna post about it because it made me feel like such a monster. i didn't want any of it!!
thankfully, i started a wonder medication for depression which actually made my obsessive thinking diminish. (pristiq and gabapentin)
is it passe to ask what medications helped you nonnies?
No. 2432493
I think I have OCD about a person. I have never heard of this before and when I look it up, they say this it's "limerence" but I don't think it is because it's not so much about the person themselves, but what they represent to me and how I react to them, so although the thoughts are related to this person, they are centered around myself. I'm plagued with the same checking behavior associated with OCD, I have intrusive thoughts, this person is in all of my dreams. I feel like the only person on earth with the issues I have. I wish I had a traditional form of OCD, like checking locked doors or being paranoid I'm a pedo or something, because then at least I could talk to other people who go through the same thing. I can't tell ANYONE about this, not even other OCD sufferers, because it's so bizarre. Therapists all had no clue what to do with me. I cannot believe this is my life. Like fuck, bro. Why? I suffer so much every day and can't tell a soul. I feel totally suffocated and alone.
No. 2432496
>>2432493"Limerence" is a misinterpreted term that's weaseled its way into the OCD community. The real meaning of it is just a crush, really. But a real crush is egosyntonic despite how delusional it can be, while OCD is egodystonic, it's all this awful anxiety around the person.
And I've been through this too
No. 2432510
>>2432496The thing is I do think it started that way. But it’s evolved and encompassed so much more than that. It’s extremely pathetic, I feel like basically the biggest loser on earth. Everywhere I go I can’t help but think “if any of these people knew what a broken-minded, complete and utter loser I am, they would never see me the same way.” I feel like a fraud wherever I go. I can’t get close to anyone, especially people in relationships, because it magnifies how pathetic I am in comparison and I can’t take it. My current problem is someone started messaging me trying to make friends because we have a lot in common but when she casually mentioned her wife like 5 messages in, I became paralyzed and couldn’t bring myself to reply, which makes me look like an asshole, and I feel bad about it, but can’t get past the paralysis. Aside from work relationships where I am sociable and well-liked, in my personal life I live like a hermit and avoid everyone to the maximum extent socially permissible. I don’t even like hiking because of the obligation to make eye contact, smile, and say hi when someone passes you on the trail (burger, it’s what we do here). I have no friends and haven’t had any for many years. I honestly don’t think I will ever be able to make a friend again in my life because my personal and internal life is so embarrassing and shameful to me, I will never let anyone see.
>>2432495I’m sorry anon. That must have been hell to deal with.
No. 2432737
File: 1741340932729.jpg (29.75 KB, 600x752, 04533fa6.jpg)
Does anyone feel like their life was ruined because of OCD? I am sure I wouldn't be a NEET with no prospects if I hadn't been cursed with this condition.
No. 2435598
>>2435558It is. I have this too, I will avoid taking pictures of my father's new birds because I think they will die if I do. Something similar is me not writing badly about some people in my life because horrible things will happen to me. I used to have thoughts about suicide when I was younger and at some point I started believing that if I dared to think about dying or even thinking about being unhappy something very bad will happen (can't even mention what will happen because it'll happen if I write it hah) because I'm ungrateful and I will be punished.
>>2429815I developed some severe OCD symptoms after getting food poisoning in a very stressful period of my life (I think stress can definitely play a part with events
triggering OCD) and even if it didn't kick in right away at some point I started ruminating on what and why I got sick that day, maybe it was me not washing my hands, maybe I ate too much, maybe it's what I ate and then I started to take measures to avoid every little thing that would make me come in contact with germs or bacteria. It's weird because years later I got food poisoning again, but it didn't kick off any more things because I knew the exact cause of it (I got it from my mom who got it from going to the hospital) and I was also significantly less stressed. I got sick, went to the hospital, waited a few days and then it was done. The first time I was terrified of catching something and vomiting for more than a literal year. I still do have some extreme anxiety if the people I live with are sick though.