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No. 329932
Springs1 (or Springs131) is the handle of a mysterious woman who's been terrorizing the blogosphere for over a decade. Her singular passion is foodservice etiquette, and she crusades across the Internet with no regard for borders, from male shaving forums (
http://badgerandblade.com/vb/showthread.php/46509-How-to-be-a-Good-Server-OR-How-to-Convince-an-Entire-Shaving-Forum-You-re-a-Jerk) to foodservice blogs (
http://customers-suck.livejournal.com/19275200.html?thread=267695040#t267695040) to reddit to conspiracy theory forums (
http://www.abovetopsecret.com/forum/thread884539/pg9#pid15035132) to bridal communities (
http://www.weddingbee.com/members/Springs1/?section=boards), to argue with others about what PERFECT waitstaff behavior should look like.
Not much is known about Springs1 aside from her obsession with foodservice and penchant for
INSULTS, ALL CAPS, AND ASTERISKS**, though she does mention a husband, friends, and ranch dressing in some of her rambling screeds. Somebody allegedly managed to obtain a picture of her years ago, but it has been lost to time. Although Springs1 has gained quite the following on the blogosphere, with some fans going so far as to create fanfiction and a Springs1 text generator, today she can be found primarily on reddit, where she magically manages to appear whenever a discussion about foodservice etiquette or tipping can be found. There's a lot of digging to be done on Springs1 due to the sheer scope of the places she's visited and the amount of time she's been proselytizing online, but here are some links to provide a general understanding of her antics.
*LINKS:* https://www.reddit.com/user/Springs131 (current)
https://www.reddit.com/user/springs1 (inactive)
http://springs1.livejournal.com/ (inactive)
https://www.blogger.com/profile/16330862403978274454 (inactive - her infamous blogs)
https://disqus.com/by/Springs1/ (inactive)
No. 329976
File: 1482787902702.png (1.13 MB, 1526x1615, 2016-12-26-13-28-boards.straig…)
>>329945Your wish is my command!
>>329969She popped up on Subredditdrama a while ago, and a little later my memory was spiked when she posted elsewhere. She's apparently pretty infamous in the middle-aged woman parts of the internet; for example, Get Off My Internets (GOMI) worships her. Here's one of the SRD threads:
https://www.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/33d3ek/server_makes_a_mistake_at_work_and_talks_about_it/>>329972Here are some links with more information:
http://wheresmyranchdressingbitch.blogspot.com/http://thebitchywaiter.com/category/who-is-springs1https://encyclopediadramatica.se/Springs1Here are some blogs dedicated to hating on her:
http://whatseatingsprings1.blogspot.com/http://springs1fanclub.blogspot.com/ No. 329985
File: 1482789347428.png (68.87 KB, 1211x571, springs1.png)
She had a storied career on thebump until she was banned. She's childless btw
http://forums.thebump.com/profile/comments/1672380/Springs1 No. 330006
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There is apparently a picture of her still out there.
No. 330008
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I think I've found a new favorite cow, thanks OP
her ramblings are crazy and amusing at the same time
No. 330024
File: 1482797790841.png (267.81 KB, 669x879, springs1.png)
>>330010She's definitely not a troll; she's been at it for at least >10 yrs. I've seen some people claim 15 and some claim 20, but it's hard to tell for sure since she hits random forums and many of the older ones have probably long since closed.
>>330013She's something, that's for sure. The fact that she's married is incredible.
No. 330225
The text generator is the best. Sage for retardation.
WHAT the fuck did *YOU** just fucking say about me, *YOU* LITTLE BITCH????!???? I’ll have YOU* know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’VE been involved in numerous SECRET raids on AL-QUAEDA, and I have over 300 CONFIRMED KILLS.!!!!1!1!1 I am TRAINED in gorilla WARFARE AND I’m the top SNIPER in the entire US armed forces.!1!!! *YOU* ARE NOTHING TO me but just another target.!!!!!1 I will wipe YOU** the fuck OUT with PRECISION the LIKES* of which has never been seen BEFORE ON this EARTH, MARK my fucking words.!!!!!1! You think YOU* can get AWAY WITH SAYING that shit to me over the Internet??!!!?!! THINK AGAIN, fucker.!1!111!! As WE speak I am CONTACTING MY secret network *OF* spies across the USA and YOU IP is BEING** TRACED right now SO* YOU* better prepare for the storm, maggot.!!1!1!1! THE storm THAT wipes out the pathetic little THING YOU* CALL YOU** life.!11!1!1 You’re fucking dead, kid.!!!1!!1!1 I can be ANYWHERE, ANYTIME, and I can kill YOU** IN over seven HUNDRED** ways, AND** that’s just WITH MY bare hands.!1!11 Not only am I EXTENSIVELY TRAINED** IN unarmed *COMBAT,* but I have access to the entire ARSENAL of the United States MARINE CORPS and I** will use IT to ITS full EXTENT to wipe YOU** miserable ass OFF the face OF the continent, YOU** little SHIT.!!1!! If ONLY *YOU could have known what unholy retribution YOU* LITTLE “clever” comment *WAS** about to bring down UPON *YOU maybe YOU* would have held YOU* fucking tongue.!1111!!1 BUT YOU* couldn’t, YOU DIDN’T, and now YOU* paying the price, YOU** goddamn IDIOT.!11!11!1 I WILL shit FURY all over YOU** *AND* YOU* WILL drown IN it.!11!1!!1 You’re fucking dead, kiddo.!1!!1!!
No. 330240
File: 1482867565198.png (229.44 KB, 460x360, 5530.png)
>>330225Kek thanks for that anon.
No. 330312
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>>330057mfw amys baking company
No. 330431
File: 1482892935807.png (252.15 KB, 1581x841, springs1.png)
>>330428>why doesn't she just… not go to restaurants? instead of being mad every time?What would she have left if she couldn't get mad anymore? It's her hobby and one true passion; she spends HOURS writing these screeds a few times a week.
No. 330438
>>330024It makes sense for the waitress to pick up the dishes before putting in the drink order instead of coming back for them, bitch has no common sense.
>>330057
>Two containers of RanchLike her fat ass needs it.
No. 330526
>>330057>mfw she lives in my state.Only one Amy's Baking Company that I know of, unless she was just passing through.
>>330006I'm morbidly curious and really wish that guy posted a pic of her.
No. 330544
File: 1482940166481.png (129.43 KB, 1859x839, springs1.png)
>>330526Oh, the Amy's Baking Co thing was fanfiction. Springs1 almost exclusively visits trashy chain restaurants like Applebees, Friday's, etc.
No. 330632
File: 1482955418469.png (125.19 KB, 1459x909, springs1.png)
>>330553>Well, this happened in September of 2013, it STILL HURTS TO THIS DAY. This is one of the best things about Springs1; she holds grudges FOREVER. She remembers every exact detail of what some waiter did at some shitty chain restaurant half a decade ago, and her raw anger as she recalls the experience is as strong as if she had just gotten home from the restaurant.
No. 330906
>>330895Honestly maybe I am. I feel after reading how ever slight and forgotten lemon wedge is recalled and brought up in argument even after years have passed by her truly gives me that impression…
Sage because I reached hard and only ended up with handfuls of ranch..
No. 331380
>>331353I love you
How did you find us?