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No. 200981
Please keep posts focused on women and female homosexuality! If you want to talk about attraction toward males it probably belongs in the bisexuality thread or questioning thread (check the catalog, they're usually not on the front page but I promise they exist!). Please ignore obvious bihet/troon/tradthot/etc rage bait as well.
Topics of discussion may include but are not limited to:
>first crush?>what’s your local lesbian scene like?>cute stories about your gf>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?>coming out stories>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?>bitch about being lonely>tips for coping with being lonely>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?>what's your type?>how did you know you were gay?>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian? >get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etc>best date/match? worst?>how homophobic are your family/friends? is it woke homophobia or oldschool homophobia?>dating app horror stories>f/f fanfic recs (pls)previous threads:
#1-
>>>/g/132141#2-
>>>/g/174105 No. 200990
File: 1628254111801.png (35.5 KB, 1188x176, wffewkhf.png)
Again? I wonder if we've had an influx of male users or something. Nta btw. I did report it though.
No. 201016
>>200990I’m
bi lol but I hate this trend of being homophobic to lesbians so much and calling them incels because they don’t sleep with men. Men will stick their dick between two hotdog buns and lesbian porn is the most popular genre but lesbians are the incels because they're not attracted to men? When was the last time this anon licked a pussy? Sometimes I think “bi woman” is code for homophobic on lolcow.
No. 201019
File: 1628265984777.jpeg (44.21 KB, 678x452, 2F5BFB12-2D9F-4411-86D2-CD66A5…)
Anyone have a similar experience of being a teen/preteen and being abnormally obsessed with an actress, watching her filmography, collecting pictures, etc, and your mom allowed and even encouraged it because she thought “aw, she has a style idol/role model.” Well guess what Ma, 13-year-old didn’t keep a plastic binder of printed out Nicole Kidman movie stills because I wanted to dress like her. (In the year of our lord 2021 my mother has since looked back at that time and connected the dots. Bless her)
No. 201043
>>200998Yes because it's only lesbians that are pissed off by some bi womens antics. It couldn't possibly be that maybe straight women are sick of your shit too.
>>201016>Sometimes I think “bi woman” is code for homophobic on lolcow.It's starting to look that way. I genuinely think if it's not scrotes it's homophobes lying about being bi so they can start shit.
No. 201063
>>201059Sucks because these threads stay untouched for the most part (compared to snow or even ot.
I think lc has a lesbophobia problem about as much as it has a biphobia problem tbh. People are able to say what they want here and that's gonna result in people shitting on each other, like I hate to shrug it off like that but it's just site culture.
No. 201069
File: 1628294620326.jpg (58.44 KB, 185x880, angry4.JPG)
>>201055Thanks for the thread "recommendation", I think the opening post alone gave me brain damage and made me unironically heterophobic. A collective of non-lesbians seething over a girl making a "straight people am i right" meme or a "you might just be gay" joke on Tumblr. I'm sorry someone on Twitter headcanoned your favourite childrens' cartoon character as a lesbian I guess. That's totally on the level of incels shooting up a sorority because stacey didn't fuck them.
Imagine posting pic related as some "proof" of how awful and milky these "lescels" are when it's the exact opposite of wanting to fuck straight girls and on manifesto-chan levels of based, kek
No. 201072
>>201056Agreed, I love them and they make it easy to pick out the lesbian thread at a glance too. Hope we continue the tradition with every thread.
>>201063Yeah especially the dating related stuff clearly attracts a lot of extremely bitter people. wlw dating pool is tiny, we all struggle with dating to an extent. I try to take anons with a grain of salt and just report bait.
Speaking of which, I met a woman who doesn't do the stupid ~queer~ shit and looks incredibly beautiful. She's around my age and single (Feels like the single women in my city are always too young or too old). I'm so excited about her!
No. 201124
>>201119I'm having the same problem. My partner and I are trying to make more lesbian friends as we've both had some heavy stuff going on that's made us recede from former social circles so it's very hard going back into "queer" spaces in search of lesbians. Firstly, half the fucking dykes have trooned out. A butch like me is starting to be seen as a bit of a relic from the past. Then of course there's the influx of wlw sapphics who can only kiss women when drunk and never actually have sex with them. There's bihets screeching about how they're still part of the community and how it's totally ok to bring Nigel along to the gay bar, he's not fetishising lesbians or anything, it's allyship! He's showing you his
support! Oh and how could I forget the newly trooned out midlife crisis men and their poor handmaiden wives. It's bleak as fuck. We use bumble too but mostly get butthurt messages from bi women who don't like that we're seeking lesbian friends only. How dare we desire sisterhood with women who share an intimate understanding of our lives and our struggles! Fuck me, just shoot me already. At this rate I think my fiancée and I will just become hermits again. Gay becoming cool was a fucking mistake. This is not acceptance, this is commodification and fetishisation.
No. 201209
>>201130Pride flag + peach?
A literal "gay ass".
Probably silly though, it's just the first thing that came to mind.
No. 201211
>>201130I keep a line from one of Sappho's fragments in my bios, along with stating that I love lavender and violets. Subtle, but unmistakable if you know of lesbian imagery and poetry.
Also, where to find normie lesbians online? I'm tired of only meeting highly political women who focus on discourse and activism. It sucks that everything has to be so fucking deep all the time, I just wanna go for a walk together in the woods, watch a movie, go for coffee, talk about our day… That kinda stuff.
No. 201258
>>201119Same and it's so depressing. My gf will come home and say "so and so from work is bi! She has a boyfriend…" and it just feels so obvious, but it's biphobic to point it out so I just don't say anything usually lol. Every time I casually mention a girlfriend, some normie looking straight girl will mention how she's queer 'too' and then quickly add "I have a bf rn tho lol", it's like the no homo of wannabe spicy straights.
>>201124I literally refuse to participate in all forms of lgbt groups bc it's exactly how you said. Literally the only other lesbian in my circle trooned out a year ago and just got on hormones. There's transbians lurching through the shadows. And so many mushroom complexioned they/thems and their bf's and their matching neon undercuts. It's just so tiresome. Why bother? At least I can be gc online.
No. 201282
File: 1628494828199.png (2.08 MB, 1924x1040, UuaP61k.png)
>>200981you guyyyyys, any of you see the movie Ammonite on Hulu? It's so hot omg.
Also there's a lesbian Molly Shannon romcom about Emily Dickinson called Wild Nights With Emily that's cute and honestly pretty hot to meeee.
My sexy, beautiful wife of 8 years is out of town :(
I need more hot lesbian media to make these 2 weeks go by faster :(
(:() No. 201624
File: 1628744559716.png (475.76 KB, 289x675, Untitled.png)
Love this picture of her, dunno why though.
No. 201688
File: 1628788533961.jpg (48.04 KB, 564x707, 2e45042503f8fc1d1cdef2d2f0103b…)
>>201019Yes! looking back, I was way too interested in Gillian Anderson and Tilda Swinton kek
No. 201971
File: 1628994761402.jpeg (363.38 KB, 1176x2004, 2B9B54E7-A65C-4093-BD3C-B4EE81…)
>>201019Kinda the same but with t.A.T.u., especially Yulia (picrel, the one with short hair). I remember having an HDD dedicated solely to photos, videos, and music of them, which I proudly showed off. Took my mother a few years to realize too lol, she genuinely thought I just really liked their “rebel” style or something
No. 202004
File: 1629036021966.jpg (18.71 KB, 460x324, 976f9c3de1e017d34e328ef69aad87…)
I have no idea how to flirt with other girls or when women are really flirting with me. It sucks cause I see girls I think are really cute and my type but I always hesitate to say anything to them because I just assume they're either straight with a andro leaning style or in a relationship already or sum. I don't want to come onto them or pester them like scrotes do. Usually the only compliments I get are from older ladies but I wonder if other girls also just keep compliments to themselves if they see someone they like?
No. 202050
>>202049I know how you feel, anon. I'm fucking 30 and STILL I consider trooning out. I've always been butch, and combined with being well over 6'0, fridge bodied and muscular it's painted a target on my back my whole life. Even here where I come to escape I see the same lesbophobic sentiments, I hate it! If it weren't for my fiancée I think I would've done it by now. Having someone love my masculinity
as a woman is very healing. But it's also not a miracle cure. I can't tell you that the desire to troon out will go away, but it can get better. It just takes a lot of fucking effort to find the right surroundings for yourself, the right people. It's not much, but as a fellow GNC woman let me tell you I fucking love masculine women. We're a gift to the world, let's be real. The attractive elements of scrotehood on someone who isn't actually a scrote? Perfection. Keep on being you, anon. Stay strong. We're in this together and we gotta keep fighting the troonpill.
Sorry if this reply doesn't make sense, I'm whacked out on medication. No. 202052
>>202050This definitely helped out to hear that I'm not alone because I don't know a lot of GNC women myself. I'm also 30 and by this age most of them either trooned out or gave up and feminized themselves to make their lives a bit easier. I understand their decisions but neither works for me, I don't want to live as a balding manlet with a frog voice and whenever I try to present more femininely I instantly become uncomfortable with the attention I get from men.
>The attractive elements of scrotehood on someone who isn't actually a scrote? Perfection.Totally, I love GNC women and I've always found them super inspirational while I hate moids which is why I find it so sad that I've had to come this far without anyone to share these feelings with.
>6ft fridge body and muscularKek anon that's literally my dream body, I'm only like 5'5" and wish I was able to build muscle. You sound awesome.
No. 202061
File: 1629070973817.jpg (29.62 KB, 341x333, Screenshot_20210717-173744.jpg)
>get a message from cute girl on Tinder
>Happy someone else writes first for once
>"Anon you look so much like xxx and thats the best compliment i could ever give"
>I dont recognize the celebrity she is referencing so i Google the name
>Its a troon
>Mfw
No. 202184
Can someone console me pls. I saw my old school friend for the first time in 2 years and it turns out two of the friends she made at university (who I met too) are a really cute lesbian couple. Now I'm a) immensely jealous of them, imagine being able to live together and share a bedroom with your gf at an elite college at only 20/21, ideal lifestyle, and b) irrationally a bit pissed about being replaced as the 'lesbian friend', bc it sounds stupid but I always imagined bringing MY future gf to meet this group of old school friends instead and being the one in the group in a happy relationship, and now I feel like they're living out my dreams in real life before I've really had a chance to get started or to have an adult social life (locked down for a year while they had in person uni, will be at home for another year, no driving license so can't meet women properly for months rn until i have the chance to get one)
They were doing a lot of PDA out in the open and had my ideal relationship dynamic pretty much, I felt like a pervert for even looking and envying what they had even though others looked and openly commented. It didn't help that my friend wasn't really interested in catching up with the rest of us. It's making me reassess the way I treat reality/fantasy atm, so something good has come out of this…
Sorry didn't know whether to put this in vent thread or lesbian thread, but hopefully this group will be able to connect to it a bit better? How would you feel about this situation, am I being irrational rn?
No. 202290
>>202184Oh, I can understand you anon. This is kinda why my fantasies about future are set in like 20+ years from now. Idk if this is relevant but I both have felt jealous towards many lesbian couples (esp if they are my age) and also felt left behind..like in a way where I had people both irl and online “on my level” as in people with messy lives but once they move on and get better without me I feel like I will forever stay in this dark hole but now completely alone..um I think I went a little off with the last one kek
Anyway you can feel jealous of them and you can feel sad and left out, the modern culture of “if you feel a single negative emotion, you are
toxic” is stupid as fuck
No. 202668
File: 1629503132167.jpeg (268.35 KB, 734x851, EE59EE85-5309-46FC-BA52-C74A86…)
“A lesbian is a non-man who is exclusively attracted to other non-men”
So men get gay but lesbian has to be shared with all the transgenders and gender specials? The comments are full of “meanings of words change and you can use whatever label you like”
We really can’t have anything, and if we try to say it’s putting us in danger they cry bigot. I’m not into TIMs. I’m not into they/thems. I’m a woman who is exclusively into women. All the way to those two X chromosomes.
I’m tired ladies.
No. 202780
>>202744How is CC with lesbians? If it's more lesbophobic than this place then fuck it I ain't migrating. But if it's roughly the same or not as bad I'll definitely give it a go. I know there's meant to be trannies there but transbians are laughably clockable like
>>201282 so I know I won't be conversing with any. I'd give another /lg/ thread a go there. Like you said, this feels like the only comfy place for lesbians online.
No. 202839
>>202832Damn, anon. You're really taking me back a few years here, I feel old as hell for remembering Fame Academy lol. I googled her and found this gossip rag article:
https://heatworld.com/entertainment/tv-movies/fame-academy-where-now/>Since the show she's fallen off the face of the planet. The star - who apparently now goes by the name Lexi Parks - released her second album Honesty in 2005 and rumour has it she was last spotted at the Music Sales Film & TV Songwriters Week with none other than The X Factor's Joe McElderry. Hmm.Also found her twitter here:
https://twitter.com/alexparksfa?lang=enBut no posts for a few years. Looks like she just faded into obscurity. Probably flipping burgers for minimum wage by now.
No. 202846
>>202780It's roughly the same and they have
terf threads and such.
>>202712I assume it's disgust or discomfort unless she goes out of her way to smile at me or give me one of those knowing 'looks'. If it's someone my age I'm more likely to assume that she's into me or a fellow lesbian who's flagging.
No. 203409
File: 1630152146275.jpeg (176.03 KB, 750x826, D6A7F6F4-8DDF-4AC2-8F12-FA0BA2…)
Crossposted from mtf thread.
They really do just despise women and lesbians completely
No. 203445
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if you don’t look like this don’t even speak to me.
No. 204531
File: 1630980028628.jpg (64.31 KB, 720x480, pA6dKEC.jpg)
Do anons know any lesbian movies with the same vibe as My Beautiful Laundrette?
I binge-watched Why Women Kill, April and Beth Ann are the best lesbian period piece couple.
No. 204675
File: 1631094110431.gif (992.84 KB, 250x250, A146B6BF-F757-48B0-9D60-ED9889…)
I told my mom about my tubal litigation surgery I’m going to have soon and her first response was “Why? Don’t you like women anyway?” It was hard for me to even bring up the conversation to her because she’s the foaming at the mouth for grandchildren type but oh lord it took everything in me not to laugh.
No. 204730
File: 1631125325458.png (79.01 KB, 300x387, 9A9B8E21-3200-421D-95FD-DECB5D…)
I have a confession.
I see so many lesbians gushing about how Miss Honey was their childhood crush. Now I’m not sure it was a crush but… I was always more into Miss Trunchbull.
Am i fucked up or just into super scary butch women?
No. 204738
>>204732same anon.
i want her to yell at me like that.
goddamn. butches are great.
No. 205172
File: 1631403937082.gif (4.81 MB, 540x350, tumblr_80d942002c3915e64dc0ed3…)
>>204531The sweetest. I watched it because of your comment, I was deceived though, considering they're not really a couple. (Though in my head they're very much together of course)
No. 205173
>>204730I was always so fascinated by beautiful women in cartoons as a child but never in a "yeah female representation" way but instead I found them attractive. Didn't realize until much later what it was about even though I knew I was a lesbian by the time I hit puberty.
>>203880>>203889Agree. A slur's a slur. The only people I actually see using the word "dyke" unironically these days are genuine homophobes and trannies which makes it even more offensive.
>>204970Honestly at this point I feel like simply not listing your pronouns is enough of a mating call.
No. 205179
>>205173i'm still bothered by how mainstream queer has gotten. especially now that it's being used by straight kids who just want to feel different.
>>205172in my head they raised April's daughter together in a boston marriage.
No. 205390
>>205381If either of those things were the case, literally every woman on the planet would be a lesbian. There isn't one woman who hasn't been sexually traumatised or made to feel ugly by men in some way or another.
If you haven't already done so, you should probably get some counselling to help process your sexual trauma anon. It could help you come to better terms with your sexuality and make you feel less ashamed of yourself. It sounds like your self esteem is in the toilet
No. 205450
>>205381I actually experienced the opposite in a way, I'm conventionally attractive and very feminine so I always got a lot of male attention and eventually that became the base of my self esteem. Even now that I'm completely certain that I'm a lesbian and not bi I still feel like I need male validation to build my self esteem, and at the same time I feel like pretty much all the women I'd like to date are too good, too beautiful, too x for me.
I wish the world in general could be less male-centric, but as lesbians it's insane that so much of our identities and self-worth is determined by men.
Anyways like
>>205390 said, counselling is the best you can do for yourself in this situation.
No. 205489
>>205381the ugly one literally makes no sense because at least ugly women can get boyfriends easily, meanwhile getting a girlfriend is almost impossible already, add on being ugly and you basically have to resign yourself to being a cat lady
the sexual trauma part I cannot say, but I've read it can affect people to go either direction (your case is not uncommon with women and I don't think this would have affected your sexuality)
No. 205596
File: 1631647481787.jpeg (151.31 KB, 400x400, 8E1C1FC9-0369-4A8A-BF9F-79AD2E…)
Just want a normie masc girlfriend oh my gooooood.
No. 205614
File: 1631657672826.jpeg (5.55 KB, 251x260, sAkClAsp - Copy.jpeg)
Hi, clown reporting in.
For the past two/three years I tried conversion therapy on myself. Clownery such as:
>Subliminal brainwashing tracks to become heterosexual
>watch straight show instead of gay show. I went cold turkey on my vampire yandere yuri manga etc
>Changing my inner monologue, so I would say "wow, man, so handsome" when I saw a man so I would start finding them attractive
>Not looking at women who are attractive or thinking about women in the wrong way
>If I accidentally got put into a mood by seeing a woman I would instantly replace the mental image with what I thought was a 'sexy' man, so I could associate males the feeling and become male attracted.
>Finding 'straight role models', inspirational straight women, romanticising straight relationships and finding examples of terrible gay relationships
>Kinning straight women fictional characters
>Acting feminine, wearing dresses (upon advice that this would make me more straight)
>Not thinking ANY thoughts of a sexual nature
>Trying to justify why I was this way
>stopped listening to homosexual music and media
Now I know none of you ladies asked for a blogpost (so this is saged), but two months ago I got tired of self hating and self fighting. I used to pretend to be girls' boyfriends as a kid, and drew women (in that way), and never saw anything interesting about men, but only saw them as a duty towards family building and a status symbol. It's been nice to stop fighting myself, to realise that I want to do nothing with men and regret hiding myself as a homosexual.
But the thing is, it doesn't feel real. I have felt like this for a long time, and never used to question it, or label it. But even now, I look at any man and feel nothing, only the feeling 'you're secretly attracted to them', or get the feeling 'it's just a phase', or 'it's a mental illness you're choosing not to recover from' or 'homosexual relationships serve no purpose'. Because of spending so long trying to 'find my straight self', I still feel uncomfortable with who I am. It feels fake, even though only women put me in a daze, I feel like a liar and that I could turn around and go back to trying to be virtuous. And I feel like I'm less of a woman, but someone pretending to be a woman. I feel cut off and know nobody like me, aside from the ex girlfriend I ignored because of guilt (it was very mean of me).
I'm not sure what I'm asking for here, neither are you, probably, in this word salad. I just know who I am, but have that residual feeling that I'm a fake, and that remaining guilt that tugs at me from time to time. It's a little uncomfortable, accepting a life that not everyone I know will like, and may not be as comfortable for someone who wants to build a family one day. There's also a greater chance of loneliness, and the feeling of being cut off from other women, belonging, and womanhood. I don't know how to finally feel at ease with myself. No more guilt, self doubt, self disgust. And I'm scared too, I can't lie.
I appreciate having this space as I have nowhere in real life to feel understood in this way, and have got just as much wisdom as idiocy from this website. I'm sorry if this was offensive to those who have similar burdens as me.
tl;dr self conversion therapy left me feeling confused for no reason, and guilty when i logically do not believe i should be. i feel lost and alone.
No. 205722
>>205695i looked very femme for a while and i got so sick of people telling me “you don’t look like a lesbian” i feel u anon.
now i’ve cut my hair but instead of looking butch i’ve got girl face and worried people will think i’m a gender special.
No. 205729
File: 1631752109027.jpg (21.13 KB, 474x456, 3eb8ecda55eab756336dd27e91d264…)
being a lesbian is so hard i have a crush on my best friend whos straight and dating this guy but she still does those flirtatious "just girly things" like buying matching necklaces,'slow dancing' in the locker room, and hugging me all the time oh my god just kiss me already
No. 205745
File: 1631763795826.jpg (244.62 KB, 1470x1080, Emry-Lurker-of-the-Loch-Throne…)
I've recently admitted to myself that I like to suffer. I gravitate towards women that make me act like an idiot and I get to suffer pining for them. I love the melancholy, I love the rush of hope when she graces me with her attention. I am a confident person but I want to be disarmed by her.
It's even better when I also kinda hate her. I go nuts.
No. 205795
>>205756It's mentally taxing but i'm never gonna be able to retire and the planet is becoming uninhabitable for us so fuck it. I'll take love as torment as a cherry on top the pile of shit sundae that existence is.
Also it's sexy.
No. 205821
File: 1631817894735.jpg (71.34 KB, 1043x985, emologan - Copy.jpg)
staying on topic my fave lesbian media is the yuri amv tribute i saved to the family storage by accident and now can't look at again out of embarrassment. but also writing fanfiction is underrated for making and getting content that speaks to you.
>>205695Yes, you will probably even feel like a fake gay sometimes, but at the same time I like to think that being a femme lesbian is like Among Us because you're an imposter (gay) whilst taking the appearance of a perceived straight, which makes me feel like an among us imposter if that makes sense, which is kind of fun. But yeah, stay true to yourself, and enjoy feeling like you blend and belong a little better. I would love a gf like you no homo x
>>205729rip but I would be so happy to have a 'best friend' like that but I can understand if it hurts too.
>>205795you sound like picrel lmao
No. 206072
>>206033I'm not sure if I would've been raped had I stayed. I've heard from a lot of other lesbians who've had boyfriends "suddenly" appear during sex and we've discussed it and think they're trying to re-enact porn scenarios and are so pornsick they think the dyke will just go along with it. With scrotes you can never be sure though, given how angry they can get when rejected, which is why I ran.
>>206039Don't be discouraged, just be safe. Like I said I carried a boot knife when I was single and hooking up with girls I didn't know. I would always explain straight away that the knife is purely for my piece of mind because of a situation gone wrong and I'll only be using it to castrate any man that tries anything. The vast majority understood me, lesbians especially because they usually had a horror story of their own. Quite a few ended up showing me their pepper spray in their handbag like "same!" which is kinda funny but fucking depressing.
>>206041Yeah, this. Thinking back on how my bi "friends" have acted it's not surprising at all that bihets try and pull this shit. I used to know a bi couple who would have affairs with the same sex and then tell each other the details and get off to it. The wife was always trying to flirt with me because her bi husband liked how masculine I was, fucking freaks. I had to cut contact. These people really do just throw all manners out the window when it comes to lesbians and will say the most vile shit to you without so much as a "hello".
No. 206093
File: 1632004802044.jpg (33.48 KB, 426x480, ai-yazawa-please-come-back.jpg)
>>206088It's a bummer to talk about men when I'd prefer to ignore their existence but then again the site is a mixed community so it's normal that hetties/bis will shit up every single thread with pictures of the scrote they masturbate to or WKing their Nigel. It's just how male-attracted people are, they can't stop sperging because if they stop, their cope ends. They have to convince themselves over and over that their scrote is worth it.
ANYWAY fuck that noise. I'm contemplating going to the one lesbian cocktail bar in town but I'll be alone and you can't mingle with covid rules… It's probably not even worth it but I want to be surrounded by people like me rn. I've been trying to make new lesbian friends (previously surrounded by "queers" and bis) and lockdown has not helped in the slightest. The cute butches I see on Bumble are all the worst fucking conversationists, it's like they're larping as fuckboys. I've not met butches like that irl so maybe it's just what the dregs are like on the dating apps idek. Femmes are even harder to come by, my luck is wack. I'm gonna go look at some lesbians IRL while sipping on an overpriced waste of calories. I'm doin it.
No. 206098
>>206093I know exactly what you mean, I hate dating apps because nobody actually uses them to meet and date, just to fill up their fragile egos of "ooh am I hot enough? I'll let my 78 matches tell you" like fuck off and stop wasting my time
Going to gay clubs is pointless in my opinion because you could be dancing with a girl but it just turns out she's drunky, daring and straight.
We don't have spaces to go to anymore where it's exclusively lgbt
No. 206110
File: 1632021013018.jpg (Spoiler Image,12.19 KB, 385x477, bigasshole.jpg)
>>206108Same. Fucking same. I texted her tonight even though I had decided not to do that just hours ago. Same anon as the one that went to the bar
>>206104 so you know why I texted her. I deserve better but I can't move on just yet.
No. 206297
File: 1632120272520.png (93.62 KB, 500x388, i-will-beat-you-with-30-shoes-…)
Have any of you noticed an increase in non-lesbians, particularly straight men, appropriating the term 'U-Haul lesbian'? I heard it come out of a dude's mouth the other day to describe himself and it really rustled my jimmies. It reminds me of those gross genderspecial straight couples that claim they're more '''queer''' than actual gay people just because the girl has short hair and the guy paints his nails while they both enjoy pegging or some shit.
No. 206309
>>206297“queer” is just fun and quirky to them.
people literally have no clue what it’s like for us. i’ve been told to fuck off because i deleted my dating apps cause i was tired of troons, genderspecials, people looking for threesomes or bi polyamorous looking for another gf.
“That happens to everyone” “that’s just online dating”
It happens to us most though. I’m so fucking tired. i get told i have privilege cause i’m white but nobody talks about how rejecting men gets you fucked over entirely.
people can’t wrap their heads around us. our existence is purely female. even our masculinity is female.
No. 206356
>>206341Not necessarily, anon. I met my fiancée at work. I had already told myself I was done dating in a similar fashion to
>>206293 because I was sick of degenerate liberals, bisexuals and troons but then… well, I met her. It really does happen when you least expect it. I think there's quite a few lesbians in happy relationships here you just don't hear from us so much because… well, we're happy lol. As much as I'd love to shit up the thread talking about the silly little things I love about my partner I think I'd bore everyone in here to death.
No. 206403
File: 1632165076579.jpg (93.46 KB, 640x405, 20240805160542.jpg)
>>206022A café you say? :^)
No. 206407
File: 1632166935450.jpg (317.4 KB, 1800x1011, she's the carmela to my tony.j…)
>>206397Ok then, but if anyone objects to my gushing then please direct your complaints to this anon for giving me the go ahead.
:P
>I love how nurturing she is. I'm currently going through treatment for cancer and she's been such an incredibly brave yet tender warrior by my side. On my bad days she does everything for me: helps me shower, helps me dress, bundles me in blankets and keeps me fed and watered while I rest. Hell, she even watched some YouTube vids on how to give massages just to give me some relief from the pain. I can be a real grumpy asshole and say some pretty mean things when I'm in pain but she knows I don't mean them. She even waits until I'm better to call me out on it. I'm doing my best to bite my tongue though, I don't want to take things out on her when she's my biggest ally. >I love how we share our passions. We're currently re-writing the Skyrim canon to fit our OCs and I'm loving it. We even have our own self-insert Mary Sues who get married in the story. After finishing tweaking this we're gonna re-write some of the Fallout canon in the same fashion and fill it full of lesbian OCs and self-inserts. Even if I'm autistically fixated on something she's not particularly into she'll always try it for me. Like when I depression binge The Sopranos for 678735th time she'll always watch some and talk to me about it. I do the same with her programs and I have to admit I've come to love some of the trashy reality shows she watches. There's nothing I love judging other peoples lives and calling them stupid with her.>She loves me for who I truly am, faults and all. My ex was ashamed of me for being working class and "too butch" amongst other things and it really hurt me deeply. But seeing my fiancée happily introduce me to everyone she knows warms my cold dead heart.>She's so fucking hot. Call me a scrote, I don't care. When I first saw her my jaw nearly hit the floor. Everyone else in the room was practically blurred out by my minds eye and it was just her.>I love how we can live together seamlessly no matter what. We can be super involved and joined at the hip or both doing our own thing and there's no friction. It was the easiest U-Haul of my life, it just felt so right. The morning after our first night together at my place it felt so empty there without her. Like my relatively small apartment had doubled in size and there was just so much unfilled space.>Ok last point because this is getting long but I am so excited for the future. We're getting married by the end of the year (if my health stays on the up) and I've bought some land where I plan to have a house built for us and I can't wait. We're also planning on having a kid once I've been in remission for a decent amount of time and it's so exciting. Any time I see parents out with their babies I get all sappy and excited because one day that'll be us. Pic very much related. No. 206414
>>206407ntayrt but this was so sweet to read, thank you. I especially loved the part where you talked about rewriting skyrim canon? I have similar hobbies with my wife, we've been writing stupid fandom nerd shit together for like a decade now, and I had no idea it was so common (I felt kind of embarrassed about it before reading your post tbqh).
Anyway I hope your treatment kicks cancer's ass,
nonny, and that you and your fiancee have many more years together. You both sound so sweet.
No. 206415
>>206407>We're currently re-writing the Skyrim canon to fit our OCs and I'm loving it. We even have our own self-insert Mary Sues who get married in the story.this is so nerdy and stupid I love it
Getting well and healthy,
nonnie, and get that dream house built!
No. 206421
>>206414Oh that's so awesome you write nerd shit with your wife too!!! What fandoms are you into, if you don't mind me asking? My partner and I don't post publicly, just share it with our nerd friends occasionally. We keep big google docs we collaborate on. I'm trying to convince my partner to post her fanfic though, she's genuinely very good at it. Thank you for the kind words, nonna. ♥
>>206415Thank you,
nonny. ♥ And I'm gonna get that house built if it's the last thing I do! We recently converted our pinterest boards into actual scrapbooks to show builders and decorators. We're also playing around on The Sims building dream houses but I keep antagonising the neighbours on there with my sim, hehe.
>>206416Yeah I know a lot of women who are into nerd shit but I think because we're used to pushing down the urge to sperg because it's not "socially acceptable" we just kinda explode when amongst fellow nerds.
No. 206438
File: 1632173569668.jpeg (66.11 KB, 500x500, these-bitches-gay-good-for-the…)
>>206403Damn I got no original ideas huh…
>>206407I was the one that requested the gushing, no regrets. The headcanon thing really got me for some reason just like this anon
>>206414, I love how you two are doing creative things together like that. I'm definitely suggesting the idea to my next gf if she's into fiction.
>When I first saw her my jaw nearly hit the floor. Everyone else in the room was practically blurred out by my minds eye and it was just her.My heart! I totally know how this feels. While the women I felt that way for are gone from my life it's pleasant to remember how the world stopped when I first met them. Makes me grateful that I even got to feel that way about someone.
I'm wishing you two the very best anon. I hope your treatment goes as well as possible and you live the rest of your lives together, doing the things you both want to do.
No. 206444
>>206421We love fantasy!! We play a ton of videogames together, so we also tend to get into fandoms like TWEWY, Ace Attorney, etc. We've been really into Fire Emblem 3 Houses for awhile. I've played Skyrim, but she wasn't super interested beyond snuggling on the couch to watch (it did spawn a lot of fun jokes, though).
I hope I come across any of your fiancee's fanfic in the wild someday! I'd love to read them, lesbians write the best fic, I swear. <3
No. 206524
>>206416>women love writing fanfic shit togetherThis is how I've met the majority of my lesbian/queer friends.
I even fell for my crush because we wrote OCs and lesbian/gay fanfiction and roleplayed together.
and then she trooned out No. 206538
>>206524>>206444how do you all meet women this much? especially homo women?
i just want a gf to play basketball with me again and hold hands and make gf necklaces and pretend to be vampires with. i admire your fanfiction stuff so much, it's literally the cutest.
No. 206546
>>206542I would love that so much. I love writing and I wish I could draw but I'm tragic at it. I especially like writing fantasy yuri and reading it too. Otherside Picnic is a really awesome light yuri sci fi novel and the novel illustrations are pretty too. So I would love to have an artsy gf to create with.
tl;dr pick me, choose me, love me <3
No. 206603
File: 1632330154723.jpg (118.39 KB, 500x487, N6-XjLlSEUA.jpg)
>>206546>>206596I love finding out that there are not only other lesbians like me but also writers that want the same thing!! You anons gave me hope. When I will be ready to enter online dating, I will be adding "trying to find writer gf" text for sure hehehe
No. 206607
>>206407>>206414>>206416>>206524This is genuinely one of my favorite things about relationships with other women. Even friendships with other lesbians, we spend so much time talking about our passions and creative interests, I'm not sure why it's so prevalent with us but it feels like so many lesbian relationships include some kind of shared creative outlet and it's so beautiful.
Someone I follow on twitter who has been running a niche fan site for the past 2 decades met her wife through it and they're honestly my couple goals. They barely even post anything coupley but there are regularly posts like "I was just talking to my wife about xzy and…" and it's so encouraging to me that they still, after so long, are able to both enjoy that kind of thing with each other.
Maybe we're all just a little autistic but honestly it's very fun and freeing.
No. 206676
Speaking of artfag/writerfag couplings, I'm
>>206407 and a former tattoo artist, for the past decade I've been trying to produce my own graphic novel but I'm a lousy writer so my fiancée has been helping me tweak the plot and characters. I haven't been drawing much because of my illness and severe art burnout from tattooing but I'm slowly getting back in the groove. Even if I never show this to anyone it's just great to have a shared project with my fiancée. Lately it's been hard to talk about my feelings or talk at all, really, so having this little graphic novel baby of ours is a good way of both distracting me from real life but still spending time with my partner and not isolating myself. I do think shared creative hobbies in general are good for relationships.
>>206608I remember hearing about those two!!! I can't remember their names but man, good for them.
No. 206738
File: 1632435015024.jpeg (20.53 KB, 600x450, bich.jpeg)
When I match with people on Bumble BFF (not in a dating place in my life atm) they usually mention their partner pretty early on in the convo while it's not relevant to the topic at hand. I'm not flirty and I don't even mention anything gay but my bio says that I am a lesbian. Am I being too sensitive? I feel like they're trying to nip it in the bud, even though "it" isn't even happening.
No. 206742
>>206738My fiancée and I are on Bumble BFF and we've both had people ignore our bios that state we're engaged and flirt with us. I expect those people you've been talking to have probably gone through similar situations since a lot of queers and liberal types on there are
cheating bastards polyamorous so it's most likely them just taking precautions to avoid uncomfortable situations. I do it myself, so don't sweat it,
nonny. I'm sure you're fine. ♥
No. 206743
>>206741But their profile already says they're in a relationship…
>>206742Yeah I guess this addresses my above point. I can understand their concern but it still turns me off the notion of friendship with them, that they'd get defensive when I have not even flirted. Like at all, I don't behave flirty. If anything I should be sketched out since hets love to try to recruit us for their 3somes under false pretenses.
No. 206769
>>206767There's a good reason why people will cut you off if you honestly think it's your place to try and change their beliefs on something. Let people be. Nobody likes this overbearing 'I'm right, you're wrong' shit.
If they're young then they'll maybe sway sides at some point by themselves. I've seen people switch sides in both directions but it's not your place to do that for them. Just like how it's not their place to change your beliefs to suit them either.
No. 206786
File: 1632494439823.jpeg (24.59 KB, 739x415, mayimbbt.jpeg)
Getting back into dating and why is every "lesbian" on dating apps a troon or a bisexual (but was with a man for 15 years and is scared of her own pussy) bitch looking like picrel. Don't mind me, I'm just seething and falling asleep on my vibrator until my country opens up and I can meet cute fit girls at the boxing gym again.
No. 206791
File: 1632496560922.gif (300.97 KB, 1280x1280, tumblr_0d016172f79ba3a989807ae…)
>>200981>tfw no gf>No lesbian bars in a 100km radius>apps full of agp's, bicurious women and unicorn hunters>the rest is looking for a tik tok acessory >I'm undesirable af butch, not that I think other butches are unattractive, I'm kinda considered a faggot, I just can read the scene>butchphobia from all sides makes making new friends difficult>can't even lift the feels away>consoom media with butches to copeexcuse the tumblr gif, Maxine Harlow is an evil pussy worshipping artist so you can rest easy about the source
No. 206792
>>206787Cringe but my girlfriend peaked me by hyping up that she was a bad person with evil opinions and feared that I would drop her once I found out whatsoever it was. Then all she said was "I don't think transition is right for everyone," to which I naturally agreed. She said some surface level stuff about hormones and surgeries being dangerous especially to people who don't research them. And at some point she either suggested I read
terf blogs or I just went ahead and did it on my own. Needless to say after reading radfem opinions for a few hours, I realised they were right all along and renounced trannyism for good. This specific tactic may only work on the terminally online and "desperate to see the good in others" type, but it can certainly be reworked to fit your situation. Just ease into it, I guess, and encourage them to read opinions from the other side.
No. 206819
>>206793Thanks for the tip, I'll look into it! Sadly enough I've had the issue with some (supposedly) gc lesbians too, who consider butches to be a harmful stereotype standing in the way of acceptance by straight people. Maybe that's true, but it also ironically enough doesn't sound very gc.
>>206808Thank you, it sometimes feels like asking for a fantasy or fairy tale when it comes to wanting acceptance/appreciation.
No. 206831
>>206819man fuck those women. what should we care about acceptance from straights. butches, bulldykes and gnc lesbians have been a part of out community since day one.
Not to “all women are queens” but butch and ngc lesbians are amazing as any femme lesbian. I love butches. From miss trunchbull to cute girls who look like justin beiber.
No. 206832
File: 1632513581890.jpg (94.71 KB, 794x794, nana.jpg)
>>206791I follow Maxine on insta, I love her work so much. She even responded to a DM of mine once, she is so cool.
Also I'm not a butch (just kinda GNC but not masc enough to count as butch) but I think they are super hot as long as they don't try to emulate fuckboys. Maybe you're too hard on yourself and that colors your perception? One thing I'd like to encourage you to do is strive to be neutral towards your own looks. People can sense it when you hate yourself and it can affect their impression of you. Even disregarding the social impact, it's not healthy to care too much about your looks. Your body is your one machine that lets you interact with the world. Don't reduce it to fuckability. It's yours and it needs acceptance.
Body positivity imo is a garbage concept that conditions people to place all their faith in looking good. Looks aren't forever, our bodies are not sex icons. Be neutral. Be kind to yourself.
Apologies for patronizing, just putting some words out there in case someone will benefit from lessons I've learned myself.>>206796Start with holding eye contact and smiling. Get yourself used to being intimate in that way. It'll open up some flirting for you, trust.
>>206831Agreed, gays that give a fuck about respectability politics are annoying retards. We don't need straights to like us, at all. I appreciate all lesbian women who don't cape for non-lesbians.
No. 206852
>>206832It doesn't come across as patronizing at all, it's really sweet. I think it was easier for me to just accept my body as is, when I was able to do sports/weightlifting all of the time, because I could be proud of the things my body could accomplish, instead of the way it looks/is perceived by others. I know it'll pass when things get back to normal and I'm busier. You're a saint.
>>206824Eh shit happens, just annoying how small the pool of possible friends gets
>>206827I guess they're conservative and just call themselves gc because they hate troons
No. 206862
>>206861you can’t tell me the “she said i looked to gender-y for sex” isn’t a dig at people assuming all gnc lesbians must be trans or “genderqueer”.
women are women.
No. 206870
File: 1632536022766.png (791.4 KB, 1280x1878, D1705E46-B6A1-4B2B-AD65-554364…)
>>206868tumblr hate her cause her followers are all “terfs”. she gets messages from detransitioned lesbians.
she calls herself masc king.
i love her cause she’s masc as fuck but clearly still a proud woman. they probably hate her cause she goes against their narrative.
that and her pussy fixation. pic rel “evil pussy worshipper” is apparently a
terf dog whistle cause it excludes trans girldick lol.
What’s hilarious to me is she’s so gnc they can’t even call her female in their call outs. it’s they/them. they literally cannot accept that a woman can be masc.
No. 206887
>>206870>pussy worship is a dog whistleI'd say it's pretty overt lmao the only acceptable genital attraction for them is towards """girldick"""
This has been brought up in this thread before but I want us to have more solid dog whistles. Radblr seems disinterested in crypto signaling IRL but it would be extremely useful imo. I live in an extremely liberal city and it's pretty much impossible to be even remotely candid about your views on gender without being totally crucified.
No. 206893
>>206887This 100%. Kinda sad that we're back to subtle signals to avoid ostracization from our own communities. Still, I need to find some cryptos IRL soon or I'm gonna go crazy.
Any suggestions?
No. 206898
File: 1632550527751.png (651.42 KB, 912x713, simpering_turbo_virgin.png)
>>206887>>206893I
>>206791 use the vagitarian option on HER and refuse to pick pronouns, to try to dogwhistle on there. It surprises me that they haven't removed the vagitarian option yet, in light of the whole 'we need to pander to AGP's more!'. I might hide an ovaries patch on a denim jacket, but other than that, I'm all out of ideas. Doing the Hogwarts house thing is probably too obvious or easy to confuse.
>>206894Iktf. I went on a date with another butch once and thank fuck she was a tourist so I don't have to face how awkward that was. It's like I lost 50 IQ points on the spot from being flustered.
No. 206902
>>206768Either be confident, or if you can't pull that off, be polite and courteous.
A healthy amount of confidence is very attractive, especially because it's somewhat rare coming from women. Being direct about your feelings and knowing what you would like to do on a date, looking after her needs, etc, is always great.
Of course, if you don't really… have confidence, then this will feel like a farce, so don't push yourself. If you don't feel confident, just be honest and polite. Don't put yourself or your feelings down, but word things in ways that lets her know how you feel while also still giving her options. You're not creepy for liking her, and being like "ugh sorry if this is creepy but-" just feels… sad to be on the receiving end of. If she's also gay, she most likely won't think you're creepy and worse case scenario will just reject you but still feel flattered.
If she already knows you're also a lesbian a simple, "hey, I wanted to let you know I think you're really great to be around and I wanted to take you out on a date some time" is effective. Honestly, sometimes the hardest part is the second date. Even when we like each other I sometimes find it hard to find time to follow up… Be earnest and consistent if things go well, just don't be a pest or anything.
I personally avoid complimenting just looks because I feel like it sounds shallow, so unless there's something about her style that you really love, try to stick to more genuine compliments and lean into her interests. Some people love being complimented about their appearance though, so it depends on the person. Hope this helps! Good luck!
No. 206994
>>206898Oy vey, I relate to that comic so fucking much. Idk why but with feminine women,
especially femme lesbians I'm great at flirting. I flirt so damn good you'd never even know I have the ass burgers. I know what to say, how to compliment them, how to be respectful. Put me in a situation with another butch woman though and I clam up. I can barely speak and come across as a total sped. At most we'll have a cordial conversation about where I buy my clothes from, what tailor I use, or what aftershave I wear and that's it.
No. 207021
File: 1632614185327.jpeg (63.42 KB, 1280x720, measfuckamirite.jpeg)
>>206994I have the opposite thing, I flirt easily with butches but have a hard time with femmes. I fit into neither category but I think that I'm decidedly punky/unpolished looking makes it so I find femmes kinda unapproachable. I don't really get what women see in me, especially femmes, though I don't let that get me down. Just kinda weird to me that they wanna date!!
No. 207043
File: 1632641052283.png (80.49 KB, 1280x1780, a66facabe94d38beffdcebec2e12d4…)
>>206994That's better or more useful than just talking about weed and spilling spaghetti in the form of having to empty your pockets to find your card.
I'm getting over my predatory lesbian complex by flirting with and complimenting random feminine women on small details. It's like I randomly became a sperg later in life, because I remember being a casanova in my teens and not giving a shit. With butches, idk even where to start. I know that 25% is into other butches too, so it's not even that rare. The few times I did give it a shot, my attempts were viewed as an invalidation of their masculinity, discouraging me even further. Though it's also flattering and ~validating~ that they thought I was too masc. The only date I did get from it, she probably thought I was a retard.
>>207021What's your secret? Spill the beans! It's like something changed culturally around here 4-6 years ago, I went from desirable and being approached randomly, to it now feeling like nobody is interested. It could be that I was only approached because I was visible and really everyone is f4f and now apps are more popular there is no need to settle for someone like me. Or maybe they view me at risk of trooning out? Do they think I'm a fuckgirl with
toxic masculinity? I know the insecurity and self doubt vibes I probably give off aren't exactly attractive either, it's like a cycle.
No. 207140
File: 1632736748392.png (85.74 KB, 396x386, faggot_butch_essay.png)
>>207114Guess I gotta just chill. Yeah I'm not exactly sure why many people seem to be so specific, it doesn't really frustrate me because everyone is allowed to have their turn ons and turn offs. What does frustrate me is that there's a taboo against certain pairings, so even though more people are into the whole spectrum, it's off-limits anyway.
No. 207168
File: 1632764438466.jpeg (109.07 KB, 1200x1200, griddlehark.jpeg)
>>207140I should find the rest of that essay and read it, thanks for sharing that bit.
Butches together is actually preferable to me than femme/butch pairings because the latter reads as a hetero-ified pairing to me. Especially the way some butches are so gender-y (and femmes are so interested in performing hetero-approved femininity), I can't help but read it as internalized homophobia making them meme themselves into emulating a straight dynamic. I don't think much of it but that is my somewhat-
problematic perception of that, though I mostly tune it out. At the end of the day I know my lens regarding this topic is too political, I don't pay much mind to it. Kinda like how I think makeup is a scam but I still wear mascara and blush when I wanna look particularly good, I can't be assed to be a perfect lez with no trappings whatsoever.
Generally I gravitate towards people that are relaxed about their gender and dress in a way that is comfortable but unique to them in some way. I don't want to navigate a super difficult relationship where I'm always in danger of invalidating someone's gender identity, it's too much work.
No. 207221
>>207177Fuck off tranny doomposter. There's no hope for
you but we'll be just fine.
No. 207268
File: 1632812591977.png (613.87 KB, 1280x1280, tumblr_19066d07e38f21eb26b7bb3…)
>>207168Yeah it's kinda difficult though to be a butch and not be considered too 'gender-y'. It's an accusation which has been levied since the 70's and it hasn't really done anything positive, other than push butches further to the fringes. I don't know why being ~relaxed about gender~ often has to entail letting more conforming women try to get butches play dress up, trying to put make up on them, trying to change the hair etc. It especially feels like a betrayal, after being subjected to and resisting patriarchal society and all the punishment for being ourselves. Yeah it's difficult to get out unscathed with no side effects. I'd prefer dating another butch,because we'd then both get it and maybe appreciate each other on a deeper level (also other butches are really hot imo). Instead of a 'femme' who will later complain and who would've been better off in a F4F pairing. I've got nothing against butch-femme pairings, but the fulfilling, healing ones seem to be a relic of the past (kudos if anyone still happens to be in one!). /rant, not really directed at you personally
No. 207291
>>207268>I don't know why being ~relaxed about gender~ often has to entail letting more conforming women try to get butches play dress up, trying to put make up on them, trying to change the hair etc.Yeah that is not what I'd define as being relaxed about gender but you're right, a ton of people use that as an excuse to try to change their partner. It's not right. The eggshells I find tiring about people that appear gender-y to me are definitely not fashion related. I meant more in the vein of having to avoid invalidating adjectives, not being able to service them in bed due to mental blocks they have, maybe even pronouns. Those kinds of things are not inherently bad either, I just don't want to navigate gender identity turmoil personally. And I'm certainly aware that looks are not conclusive so I'd observe the person before I pass on them. Definitely not based on their outfit, though. That's some bizarre shit.
The butch/femme pairings I see around are almost always black people. White lesbian couples I see around are mostly f4f or "soft butch"/[either]. I've not seen lesbian couples of other demographics around town but now I'm curious to know what their common dynamics are.
No. 207295
>>207291>The eggshells I find tiring about people that appear gender-y to me are definitely not fashion related. I meant more in the vein of having to avoid invalidating adjectives, not being able to service them in bed due to mental blocks they have, maybe even pronouns.Oh yeah it's understandable that the pronoun thing can be very annoying. I think the not wanting to be serviced thing is more often trauma related than gender related. Many also get pushed into it.
I personally made the mistake of sleeping with bicurious women when I was younger and now I feel insecure about letting anyone go down on me. I could probably get over it in a relationship tho. I understand that a lot of people don't want to deal with that kind of baggage and they are well within their right.
>The butch/femme pairings I see around are almost always black people. White lesbian couples I see around are mostly f4f or "soft butch"/[either]. I've not seen lesbian couples of other demographics around town but now I'm curious to know what their common dynamics are.Here the white ones are all F4F and masc lesbians are a rare sight, with or without pronouns. Black people tend to be in a (black female only) polycule around here with all sorts of aesthetics, no hate, they seem happy.
No. 207361
>>207268>>207323Holy fuck I thought I was the only one who had noticed this. I'm not even on the most bulldyke side of the spectrum and more of a futch/tomboy yet even I have experienced my share of this "Just try a dress on for once, you'd look so pretty!" coaxing and people obviously assuming that me being masculine is somehow a cope and sign of insecurity that I need to get over despite me being like this since I was a fucking toddler. Seeing how femmes are never pressured to "experiment" with masculinity it should be telling enough what's the motivation behind this.
Not to turn this into another bi shit flinging thing but it's almost always insecure bihets who have to have the option to pretend to be heterosexual so they need to make their partner look like a "regular" woman and not like a "disgusting lesbo".
No. 207429
>>207405i love seeing lesbian couples. the equal partnership is so refreshing.
also it warms my cold lil heart to see women who have found happiness together. one day that will be me and my beautiful wife maybe. i’m still holding out. there are women in their late 20s/early 30s that aren’t handmaidens or they/thems. right???
No. 207478
File: 1633002402903.jpeg (28.99 KB, 225x225, download.jpeg)
>>207361Yeah with bi women the risk is even higher that the pressure to conform gets turned up. Or they want you to perform as a scrote,
so they can get off. Obviously #notall and I got a couple supportive gnc bi online friends and febfems seem to be better with this stuff. It's just a very broad category.
Though conservative, religious lesbians can be really bad with gnc stuff too. They also happen to be more likely against the troon thing, but it doesn't exactly come from a truly gc perspective. They view gnc as no different from ftm, both an embarassment/barrier to mainstream acceptance. Again #notall, heavily depends on which religion etc.
No. 207530
File: 1633028623288.jpg (6.33 KB, 211x120, 1585049035046.jpg)
Instagram is such a turn off for me and all the women my age are absolute freaks for it. I can't bring myself to enjoy this stupid app but I have to use it if I want to communicate with the new people I'm meeting. I feel like a boomer rn.
No. 207566
File: 1633048440257.jpg (44.74 KB, 680x554, Ec7-9g4U0AA3jZr.jpg)
i'm so sad. there's a women's union in my city and i thought they might consist of like… older women? normal women? then i saw that they had a 4 days long lesbian only event and of course it had a giant disclaimer about how you should respect and ask about pronouns and that there is no place for twansphobia at their event. like i know this is just The Society(tm) we live in nowadays but i'm just heartbroken all over again.
No. 207592
File: 1633072147913.jpg (389.69 KB, 888x1280, tuff.jpg)
>>207530I haven't caved in yet, is it worth it?
>>207542>If I were to become single again I would rather be alone than settle for someone who is also settling for me.Yeah I've been single for years now for this reason.
>I never got too many women trying to dress me up as with my tall and muscular build I'd look like a hon in a dressI look like a hon when I try to wear dresses too, but that doesn't stop people from trying to get me in them, because to them femininity = attractiveness, sexiness etc. Even though personally I feel I look more feminine with short hair and in
men's butch clothes. It allows my female body to shine through and not be outshone by the drag.
>I actually conned myself into thinking I was stone butch because penetration is often painful for me and I prefer to give oral and top.Oof, it hasn't gotten that far with me. I mainly just stopped hooking up with bi(curious) women and decided to wait until I could find someone I would dare to work through my hang-ups with. Easier said than done though, especially in this climate. It's like even lesbians nowadays put me in this role and only women with pillow princess pins on Her and shit like that like me (
besides the regular barrage of AGP's thinking we have so much in common). Even though I try to signal pretty hard I'm closer to being a (aspiring) faggot butch than a stone butch. It's like all those apps made the bars disappear even faster too. The rest gets cancelled out of existence. It's been getting lonelier and lonelier.
>>207546Thanks for sharing! The capitalization of the L does make me pause though, usually a sign of polilez stuff, but still a good blogpost.
No. 207594
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Is there a subreddit for cis lesbians? Seems like all lesbian subs are full of troons wtf
No. 207606
>>207598Just be careful about going full
TERF on there. The sub has to technically remain inclusive of troons or they'll get banned but the userbase is mostly real women fed up with woke shit and the occasional not-like-other-AGPs AGP. It's not a new r/truelesbians unfortunately.
https://www.reddit.com/r/ActuallyButch also exists for anyone interested and is much better than r/butchlesbians. It's run by some women from ActuallyLesbian and so far has had no masc AGPs who call themselves butch lesbians.
No. 207703
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>>207679nta and sorry for possibly schizoid tinfoil but my gut says it's sketchy. I've seen it mentioned on Ovarit and all the lesbian subreddits the same way it's mentioned here
>>207637, short plug from an empty/low activity account about how amazing it. Likely the dev themselves because nobody is actually using the app.
It has a sister app for trannies so the dev probably isn't a GC/radfem woman. And to get approved for posting you need to submit video and audio of yourself. Which yeah to be fair is the only way to keep troons out but you're sending video evidence of yourself applying for an account on a '
terf app' and fuck knows what the dev is gonna end up doing with that information.
No. 207708
>>207674Thank you!
>>207703Nah it's not a schizoid tinfoil, anon. It sounds shady as fuck to me. The fact there's a tranny sister app and you have to submit a video of yourself sounds very suspect. Trannies always talk about wanting us on a fucking list, just look at that Shinigami Eyes extension. This app seems like a perfect way to lure us in. "Oh look, we're referencing Le Monocle! It's lesbian only!". Now this probably
is schizoid tinfoil but the fact it was plugged not long after
>>207594 posted makes me paranoid. I mean, how often does someone come here using the word "cis" seriously? Pair that with the fucking weeb shit? Idk it's just got my back up.
No. 207733
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I don't want to start a flame war again, but I have some serious questions.
For context, my only vaguely 'right wing' beliefs, are in wanting a smaller government and protecting personal freedoms. I don't want morals forced on anyone. But in liberty oriented spaces online, sometimes there's a conservative influence too. And it makes me question what is right and wrong.
For instance, there is discourse on the subject of whether homosexuality is a result of negative influences. Such as molestation, absent parental figures, or hormone imbalances. And when I look at gay men, and how promiscuous and mentally unstable they seem, I think 'yeah adds up', but I'm not sure if I feel that about homo women, because that's me.
I was never molested, and I always felt funny about this teacher who wore tight skirts even when my family was fine and loving. (so I was a little homo way back lol)
But sometimes I wonder, especially from what others say. Were many of you here molested or unloved by a parent? Is it possible to be a girl who was loved by her family and had many friends in childhood and no trauma, autism or mental illness, and to be a lesbian? Is that any of you? Because I'm on the fence about whether being lesbian is ok, but I'm pretty sure homo men are kind of off.
No. 207736
>>207733This is the first time I enter to /lg/ because I'm new to lolcow and I'm
hetero. I'm also puzzled by the reasons/causes/origins/basis of homosexuality because it seems that there's some correlation between being molested as a young boy and ending up as a gay man. And there's also the idea that some gays and lesbians know from a very young age that ''they're gay'', althouh this sounds like those claims HSTS make about ''feeling female'' since childhood, it really seems that vague emotions and fixations can be easily misunderstood by children and if bad parenting or society reinforces those misinterpretations children will grow up confused. I don't know about lesbians having a particular disposition for having been sexually abused. Wouldn't it be weird that when boys are molested by men that makes them crave for more dick while girls being molested by men turn out to be repulsed by them? One would expect the same result, or not?
>I was never molested, and I always felt funny about this teacher who wore tight skirtsBut would that really count as a sexual preference if you were only a child? Did you have any romantic thoughts about her? As a child I was in love with young Nicole Kidman because of how pretty she looked to me and how charming some of her characters were, and the same with other actors/actresses but I never had any romantic feelings for them. I didn't have them for classmates either until I reached 13yo but now I see that age as the starting point of getting to develope sexual preference and romantic feelings towards someone, something that has reached a decent level now that I'm 21yo but that hasn't ended. Do you know that V for Vendetta scene where the actress is talking about a phase during high school were girls have ''girlfriends'' and she gets caught and is told by a teacher that that's just a phase, then she explains it didn't end for her? That makes me wonder if it's an actual hormonal thing amongst females because I had something simmilar that passed.
I have to admit that gay men and lesbians feel like two very different concepts to me. I don't know if there are ''true'' gay men that haven't suffered from any type of trauma of don't hold an extreme feeling of mysoginy (that hypothesis abou having many sons in a row) but everyday I'm more convinced that lesbianism comes from a totally different ground.
No. 207747
>>207736I mean when I was trying to self convert to heterosexuality I saw a YouTube video of a girl who was molested by a woman and it made her gay but then she found out that it was wrong and a trauma response. So I think there are some lesbians who are responding to trauma, but if I exist then maybe it's something you can just be, like being autistic. If that makes sense. I would try to change if I thought it was a trauma response, as I know that can happen, but I think when a girl/woman is molested it's either usually hypersexual trauma responses to men, or male aversion.
I think a sign of being gay was that I pretended to be a boy so I could pretend to be girl's boyfriend when I was younger, and thought I fit in with boys too because I was like them on the inside. I'm glad I'm not a child in 2021 because I may have been convinced to go ftm kek. And I never had unrestricted internet access because my mom's great and based, but when I was twelve I did cringe gay stuff. Like drawing big booba women, and secretly dating a girl 'ironically' who i went swimming with, or wondering when I would begin to like men at like 16, because obviously it's just because I'm young and not fully developed that I don't know what it's like to lust over a man yet, even though I forget to breathe when this one girl in class looks at me.
For sure it can be a phase, and I'm happy for you that you got to be heterosexual. Also, I think women are more able to love someone for their soul and spirit, and aren't as visual as a man is. So even if a woman is straight, their heart has so many depths and layers that they may feel connected to a woman who makes her feel a certain way, and feel in love.
I can understand how homo men and homo women can seem different- homo men seem hyper promiscuous and traumatised, but not homo women. And if the many sons theory is right, I may believe it. But if I was a gay man, I would just try to exercise and take testosterone if that theory is so correct. I heard someone on 4chan say testosterone worked on his gay brother. Because imagine being like 'mm man ass' and being likely to have diseases and get cheated on? If I was a gay man, I definitely would want to change.
Do you think you could still change at 21? I'm 18 and I still wonder if by 25, when I'm more of a woman, I'll know what it's like to feel the way for men that I do for women. I don't feel grown up because I don't like men, but I'm in the acceptance stage now and am not trying to change, just feel an underlying and constant guilt. I'm wondering, as they do say in those 'libertarian' spaces that homosexuals are likely to change their sexuality.
No. 207748
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>>207733Can we maybe not debate about the existence of homosexuality in the lesbian thread? Fuck off. Especially you little miss Hettie Bettie
>>207736 No. 207752
>>207748I understand why you feel annoyed that I'm derailing and maybe invalidating you when this is your place to be understood and connect.
I was only wondering if there are lesbians here who grew up without trauma, autism, or anything, so I can know if there's a cause. I believe homosexuality exists, because that's me. Like if you can be a normal girl, and a homosexual. Then I will believe that it's just something you happen to be.
Can you be a completely healthy normie girl who happens to like women, and if so, is that any of you?
No. 207764
>>207747> So I think there are some lesbians who are responding to trauma, but if I exist then maybe it's something you can just beThat makes a lot of sense, it's completely normal that you want to analyse your sexuality in order to see if it's rooted on something healthy and non-traumatic. Each day I'm more convinced that lesbianism, because it doesn't involve men, could be the purest for of love and attraction.
>I think a sign of being gay was that I pretended to be a boy so I could pretend to be girl's boyfriend when I was younger, and thought I fit in with boys too because I was like them on the inside.Whad does that even mean? You felt like a boy on the inside? Don't degrade yourself like that, you could never possibly feel like a boy on the inside because you weren't a boy.
> when I was twelve I did cringe gay stuff. Like drawing big booba women, and secretly dating a girl 'ironically' who i went swimming withOkay this seems more reasonable.
>For sure it can be a phase, and I'm happy for you that you got to be heterosexual.Well, I repressed the hell out of it because of internalized mysoginy and I wished for biological children with my future partner.
>Because imagine being like 'mm man ass' and being likely to have diseases and get cheated on? If I was a gay man, I definitely would want to change. Fucking kek
>Do you think you could still change at 21?Yes, it could happen, I'm fighting my internalized mysoginy. It doesn't help that I had an absent father figure over which I was obssessed with, seems like there was no other option for me than turning out straight. On the other hand, you had a happy upbringing, that shows you how much conditioned I was to obtain my sexual preference.
>I'm 18 and I still wonder if by 25, when I'm more of a woman, I'll know what it's like to feel the way for men that I do for women. I don't feel grown up because I don't like men, but I'm in the acceptance stage now and am not trying to change, just feel an underlying and constant guilt.Don't feel any obligation towards males, don't measure your maturity on the level of appreciation you have of them, on the contrary, the maturer you are, the most you'll despise men. I understand your struggle. Nowdays people talk about sex and sexuality 24/7 but it's ridiculous, time and experience will tell us what we need to know. There are millions of more interesting things out there than ourselves, we've become too much self absorbed, people whant to put themselves in categories.
>>207748>>207760Anon, those aren't me.
No. 207788
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I've still yet to make a single lesbian friend in this town and I'm so fucking over it. I can't date atm so I'm limited to platonic relationships which makes it extra hard. Where the fuck are the lesbians of Toronto????
No. 207791
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>>207788 I've never tried it but I have friends who have met friends on tinder
No. 207831
>>207733Look, I don't have the big answers for you. All I can tell you is what I know that is true to
me. No one diddled me as a kid. I grew up in a strict religious environment and felt immense shame for my sexuality, but still, I fell in love. It wasn't enough to stop it. Not so long ago though, I had a mental breakdown, I put myself through conversion therapy. Over a month of navel gazing with other self-hating gays and solo "therapy" sessions where I was drugged and forced to watch lesbian porn while I puke my guts out and some guy yells at me that I'm a disgrace to god. They try to rewire your brain to associate homosexuality with sickness, nausea and distress. After being propositioned for a relationship by a guy from the group I came to my senses though. I left town, ran far away from it all. All the trauma in the world could never make me want to be with a man in any capacity: romantic or sexual. The trauma from conversion therapy was still there of course, but when I met my fiancée I fell in love hard and fast. That's when I knew that whatever homosexuality is, it is not something we can control. I don't believe you can cause it and you sure as hell can't stop it. If you're genuine with this, take this as a sign to stop. I know it's hard, but just
stop. Stop reading those stupid sites that theorise and pathologize us. Don't watch those fugazi "ex-homosexual" testimonials. Follow your heart and fuck what anyone else thinks.
No. 207959
>>207733I was never molested or sexually assaulted in any way at all and my parents are ultimately very loving people, even if they have their flaws. They're immigrants so they had a difficult time and came from a country with different social norms, but they do love me. My dad is actually pretty great and I have a good relationship with him, and he has never crossed any boundaries with me. Or even so much as made a negative comment about my appearance. I can't say I'm not mentally ill, but I chalk that up to living in current society, of which I think we have differing political beliefs on because I definitely do not want a smaller government, but that's neither here nor there. I don't believe my mental illness has anything to do with my sexuality.
I know normal (relatively, considering they are still male, and most if not all males are deranged and misogynistic regardless) gay men. I think the reason many gay people can come across as unstable is because of the extremely homophobic environments that they were raised it. It's very sensible that it would have an impact on their development, and result in people who come across as erratic.
>>207736I really want to say shut the fuck up hetero, but I'll humor your for a second. Would you similarly compare a woman reminiscing about a crush she had in the 2nd grade on a boy to an HSTS talking about how he always felt female? Probably not. Plenty of gay people report having crushes at young ages, like heterosexual people do, and for those who don't, it's quite normal to not be able to recognize a crush when you're only ever told those happen towards the opposite sex. It's also relatively normal to not have any crushes at all until you're older.
For the record, I actually don't remember having much crushes on well… anyone, as a child. But I'm also very unromantic as an adult and rarely wish to pursue romantic relationships, so that's not very surprising. I definitely have never felt any amount of romantic or sexual feelings towards men.
I'm of the opinion that most humans lean bisexual and completely exclusive heterosexuality/homosexuality is the rare one, but a substantial amount of people who are capable of having bisexual tendencies heavily repress it and are not inclined enough towards same-sex attraction to bother un-repressing it. So it's not surprising to me that some straight women can report having strong feelings for other women, and it's explanatory of the homoerotic behavior that many purportedly straight men display towards each other.
I'm of the subset that is exclusively homosexual, though. I don't think it's all that odd, considering we probably exist as a form of population control or something. Homosexual behavior is rather common throughout the animal kingdom. For a species where childcare is very time-consuming, it's not surprising that there would be a subgroup who don't have their own children.
No. 208095
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Anyone here hates trannies? Would like to have cute gf and talk about how much we both hate trannies(bait)
No. 208211
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Why do I keep seeing these type of posts? I don’t go looking for them at all
No. 208241
>>208240>>208231>>208211As much as I hate the fakeboi thread and all the assmad MTFs, Aidens, scrotes and hetties posting there it's still autistic to go pick a fight with them and complain afterwards. The person saying "tbh you should be ashamed for liking men" and posting about "dykes seething about bisexuals" seems like some samefagging infight psyop to me in all honesty.
That said, the whole thread is lesbophobia central. The last time I checked anons there did not believe any girl would be bullied for having boy toys in her childhood and it just reminded me of how butches and GNC women in general get the shit end of the stick all the time and their experiences can only be understood by someone who lived through it.
No. 208253
>>208244>>208241I hate it when they nitpick Aidens about their appearances. It's fine when it's stuff like rainbow hair and retarded outfits but nitpicking women for being fat/hairy is part of why so many girls are trooning out in the first place. Let them be fat and hairy in peace like men are allowed to be ffs.
> I realized quite a while ago that their disgust for Aidens comes from the same place their disgust for butches comes from.Same with most online radfem/GC type spaces tbh. I lurk Radblr and Ovarit too and an uncomfortable amount of women are clearly just social conservatives who have issues with GNC people in general.
No. 208255
>>208253>Same with most online radfem/GC type spaces tbh. I lurk Radblr and Ovarit too and an uncomfortable amount of women are clearly just social conservatives who have issues with GNC people in general.RF/GC discord servers are like that too. Every time they start with a big group of detransitioned and gnc women, but slowly over time an exodus starts over all the bashing of GNC features, the analyzing of actual women for 'trannie traits', the globohomo sperging and ironically enough the accusing of GNC lesbians of being exactly like scrotes. I almost got more ~dysphoria~ from being in there, than from just existing in patriarchy. Such incredibly
toxic environments.
No. 208258
>>208255ayrt
>Every time they start with a big group of detransitioned and gnc womenThis drives me absolutely fucking insane because it's true. It's not even a new phenomenon, lavender menace 2.0.
sometimes I think we would have better luck forming solidarity with TIFs, half of them are already peaked from close contact with AGPs and would be on board with radfem ideas if they're framed as 'AMAB vs AFAB' instead of 'man vs woman'. idk I'm just paranoid that as GC belief becomes more popular it's gonna become more and more generic anti-SJW, openly hostile toward homosexuals/GNC women/etc No. 208260
>>208253It really pisses me off whenever they're posting comparison pics of girls before and after trooning out like a bunch of scrotes bitching about how they "ruined themselves", not because they went on T and got their tits chopped off but because they don't look like a conventionally attractive girl anymore. I get laughing at Elliott/Ellen Page's Shinji look and ridiculous ab implants but only because it would look dumb on anyone.
>>208255This is why despite aligning with radfem ideas I still don't feel welcome in most radfem/GC spaces. I think trannies are insane but I also understand why so many young lesbians troon out and sympathize with their struggles as someone who almost went down that rabbit hole herself. People keep pigeonholing radfems into being just "anti-trans" to the point their communities have been overran with thinly veiled conservatards and weird WLW polilezzies who, like said, think butches are "just as bad and rapey as scrotes", "pickmes who lick male boots" and "men-lite", being completely blind to the irony. To them the cure for FTMs transitioning is just for them to learn to put on lipstick and a dress, literally no better than troons themselves.
No. 208264
>>208258I agree with your assessment,
I've seen several TiFs have very gc-like rants about 'transandrophobia' coming from AGPs. Or how they feel silenced by not being allowed to say they experience misogyny or else it hurts AGPs feefees. The divide between TiFs and other GNC women is an artificial one which is being fueled from 'both sides' and has been observed by cuspers since at least the 90's. They are often automatically ignored, because they fall under ~queer theory~, but after actually reading shit of Jack/Judith Halberstam, it really does feel like we're being played from both sides. One side wants you to ignore anything vaguely anti-trans and the other wants you to ignore anything vaguely ~queer~.>>208260>To them the cure for FTMs transitioning is just for them to learn to put on lipstick and a dress, literally no better than troons themselves.I think this has been fueled even more by the fact that one of the most popular detransitioners is an 'ex-lesbian' who is now a wannabe tradwife. It's not Keira Bell who is being invited to talk everywhere, that's not enough of a success story according to the thinly veiled conservatards.
No. 208265
>>208260>To them the cure for FTMs transitioning is just for them to learn to put on lipstick and a dress, literally no better than troons themselves.Sometimes you get conservative mothers posting about their TIF daughters/nieces/etc and I need to physically log off and walk away because it's too much.
>I-I tried to explain that she'll never be able to maternally and motherly breastfeed her babies with her big beautiful womanly woman breasts and it just made her want top surgery even more!!!!!!!!GEE I WONDER WHERE ALL THAT DYSPHORIA IS COMING FROM.
No. 208266
>>208255RF/GC discords are the bowels of hell. As a butch I was either looked down upon or got a lot of uncomfortable sexual remarks (even though I talked frequently about being in a relationship) when I would mention weight lifting or my fitness regime. A lot of so-called "radfems" only have those two modes of treating butches: objectification or disgust.
With regards to the FTM thread: I browse it because I enjoy tranny cringe that doesn't make me want to an hero like the MTF thread. That said as a butch lesbian I feel like I'm walking a tight rope in there. A big chunk of the users here, and yes I'm going to say it - especially the borderline homophobic "bisexuals" - just hate any gender non-conformity. Doesn't matter if you're butch or a full blown Aiden they'll hate you all the same.
No. 208268
>>208265Kek too accurate
nonnie. While a lot of feminist mothers are proud to have butch daughters you still get these pieces of work every now and then.
>My daughter used to think she was a boy had crushes on other girls but now she has at long last found her femininity wearing dresses, heels and putting on nail polish! Why, just now she's going on a date with her wonderful boyfriend and I couldn't be happier!Makes me a-log every time. Not that girls can't turn feminine from being a GNC, of course they can, but that attitude boasting how she got "fixed" into a heterosexual femme in the end is what devastates me.
No. 208275
>>208244They're already doing that to some extent, at least I've seen a couple of times when they've just posted some butch girl to ridicule with no proof of them ever mentioning being trans.
>>208266Incoming bitchy rant but naturally the only butches they accept have to be a tall, very attractive and incredibly buff so they can treat as a sufficient replacement for a man without feeling "too lesbian", and even them only as something to objectify. Shorter, skinnier/average butches are the ones they're disgusted by and often are so hostile they attempt to paint them as pedos due to "wanting to look like teenage boys" for wearing sportswear or a snapback. It's all so transparent and I'm not even talking about attraction, just the general treatment received.
No. 208276
>>208275AYRT and:
>the only butches they accept have to be a tall, very attractive and incredibly buff so they can treat as a sufficient replacement for a man without feeling "too lesbian"is a
perfect description of my bihet ex lmao. Realising I was literally just Diet Man to her was one of the reasons I got the hell out of that relationship and stopped dating bi women.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm attractive but I am over 6' and muscular and that seems to be the two main things bi women always comment on. It was nice at first but now it's just annoying. I am not your Nigella. No. 208294
>>207959Thank you for being honest with me anon.
>>207831Where do you live for such 'therapies' to be legal? They're banning it in my country but I heard it's legal in the US, Montana specifically.
No. 208299
>>207959>I think the reason many gay people can come across as unstable is because of the extremely homophobic environments that they were raised it. It's very sensible that it would have an impact on their development, and result in people who come across as erratic.This is something people forget about all the time, either intentionally or not. Gay men are what moids are for sure, but they also have a hypersexual culture because that's where they sought support from and learned from their elders as impressionable teens with nowhere else to go. Lesbians generally were treated like garbage and ridiculed as the butt of the joke or as sexualized pieces of meat to perform for heterosexual men's pleasure or even correctively raped/assaulted. Gay people tend to lack healthy social networks and peer support due to not following the norm so it shouldn't be a surprise that they turn out unhinged. Like you, I doubt my depression and anxiety has nothing to with being a lesbian but instead being ostracized for it.
Growing up the only other lesbian I knew from around where I lived was the target of countless rumors from whoring herself out to older women to being a criminal despite being a completely normal girl next door, but because she was a homosexual it meant she had to be an all around degenerate. It's going to fuck you up in the long run.
>it's quite normal to not be able to recognize a crush when you're only ever told those happen towards the opposite sex. I fully agree about this as well. Some anon mentioned self-inserting more into male characters as a kid and I sure as hell did that too, I always thought it was a crush because god knows my baby brain could not comprehend that I was only doing so due to wanting to be in the romantic proximity of women and my best option was to project into the male character. It still continues to this day for me personally, but now I'm just aware of why it happens.
No. 208312
>>208300Nta but I went to therapy after a break up and the loss of a parent all happened very close together.. 3 or 4 sessions in we were talking about my gender identity for some unkown reason. I was trying to say I was secretly into women.. got diagnosed with GID? (twice over because my country was working on some system of needing it backed up by another professional too) I took T for a year and one day I just stopped and thought… wait what the hell am I doing here?? I was also on meds that numbed me when I went along with this.
I had no desire to transition before this therapist. I was a lil bit butch and closeted but nothing more. My one surviving parent hates me because of it. Now I'm not an idiot but I was in the middle of a mental health crisis at the time so fuck me.. I was vulnerable and just going with what she said. I'm less annoyed about the effects of taking T and more upset that I lost my dad to it, spent a couple of years concentrating on such a non issue too. All when I had bigger issues that I needed to get help for.
No. 208329
>>208312AYRT, I'm so sorry that happened to you,
nonny. These people prey on the vulnerable. I was staying in a psych ward when I got my diagnosis. I never took HRT
seriously considered it and had a trial period of close friends calling me by a male name though but I slightly relate to women who did as my PCOS gives me a taste of what that's like and it's fucking awful. I hope you're doing better in life now, stay strong.
>>208294Don't really wanna say where as I'm paranoid but it is illegal here, it just doesn't really mean shit. Campaigners are well meaning but very foolish to think that making it illegal will make it go away. All I had to do was ask around to find a place that gives "talk therapy" to gay people and then badger them into trusting me. It was very cloak and dagger at first and they literally checked my walking stick to check there was no recording equipment in there and gave me a pat down but once they realised I was genuine they were fine. I don't even know what drug they give me and if that's legal but I heard them talk about other churches doing this "service" so it seems like the law isn't holding them back.
No. 208373
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>>207679>>207703I'm the anon that originally posted about it and nah, it's not sketchy, the creator is a bit of a boomer so the ads for it really suck, the app itself is not perfect, the verification process (the stuff you read out loud) is kind of cringe, but otherwise, it has potential in that it literally does have real lesbians posting on it, no tolerance for trannies (terfy users, including the creator who seems GC/radfem but I didn't want to out her so that the transcult doesn't harass her and the app). I was not trusting because she had plans for trans and bisexual app, but I think she only made those to keep the transcult and bisexuals off her back for the lesbian exclusive app.
I tried it myself because I just stopped caring about whatever people are going to do with a video of me saying something random in order to use a lesbian app, went in with extremely low expectations, but was pleasantly surprised that actual lesbians do use this (including some boomers). It does get boring because the dating section hasn't been added yet and it's usually the same active users you see so far, but it's literally the only app we have now. Giggle was going into the lesbian exclusive direction, but it completely turned into just a woman's app, so not only it doesn't work, you see women complaining about men and their boyfriends every day basically.
Anyway, worth checking out. I'd like to see it grow because there's nothing else at this point and I would like a wife tbh
No. 208375
>>208373To add, it's kind of like a small community/social media thing going on, so after you sign up, you can post anonymously. I'm pretty sure the app creator would probably be legally responsible if she leaked the videos of the people reading the phrase out loud? or at least it'd be a dick move? I don't know, but it's just a lesbian app, not promoted as a
terf app, but I think once you join you'll see that everyone is on the same page
No. 208411
>>208264i've noticed all the detransitioners who manage to cobble together any amount of a platform are usually either the vaguely socially conservative or outright conservative ones. like helena lacroix who's mustered together a bit of a following on twitter, then goes around sperging how women these days are never pressured into becoming mothers and gender roles are real, actually.
it just makes me think all this tranny shit is going to lead into a massive social conservative backlash, because the most prominent voices speaking out against the matter are hardly ever radfems or at least people criticizing it from a leftist perspective. i almost can't blame TRAs who think the only people who are critical of the trans movement are conservative, when they try to poke into it and find benjamin boyce getting his dick sucked.
No. 208417
>>208411>like helena lacroix who's mustered together a bit of a following on twitter, then goes around sperging how women these days are never pressured into becoming mothers and gender roles are real, actually.Yeah she's the popular 'ex-lesbian' wannabe tradwife I was talking about. She is also invited on a lot of podcasts and to do a lot of interviews. Her exgf is
poc, so the sudden pandering to racists and coddling of her nazi brother is a bit eerie. She also said on her curiouscat that gay couples shouldn't be allowed to adopt and that it's unethical.
> i almost can't blame TRAs who think the only people who are critical of the trans movement are conservative, when they try to poke into it and find benjamin boyce getting his dick sucked.Nevermind that WOLF accepted money from anti choice nutters or how the only well known RFs are either polilez or hets who recently jumped on the 'maybe divine femininity should be pushed' train. Almost feels like both sides collaborating to get rid of us, tankies never liked lgb either, considering it bourgois decadence. This shit has been apparently predicted since at least the 90's.
No. 208442
>>208414agree, hatred about gay men (which i wholly don’t disagree about when it comes to calling out the misogyny they’re sometimes given a free pass for) quickly devolves into sperging about how homosexuality itself is degenerate. which even more quickly morphs into lesbophobia.
and its genuinely insane how the conservatards consider homosexual men to be more degenerate, considering the history of behavior that straight men have towards women. heterosexual men will always remain the most disgusting fucks.
>>208417helena is an ex lesbian? holy shit, didn’t know that, definitely makes me hate her even more than i already do. i thought she was just a straight ex ~transmed.~
i also despise the divine femininity stuff. it’s all misogynistic bullshit geared towards indoctrinating women to be submissive and view themselves as secondary to others.
No. 208454
File: 1633605187252.png (377.56 KB, 755x587, Helena.png)
>>208446Aka as Helena Kerschner
https://twitter.com/lacroicszI wish I actually took screenshots when her curious cat was still up, because it was milky af. Lots of pick-me prose about how she's the perfect tradwife, dunking on lgb (not just T) and coddling of her nazi brother. Her ex-gf wrote a Medium article or something to defend against the weird shit Helena was saying about the relationship, but I can't find it atm. Maybe someone more autistic than me can. Helena really is held up as the perfect detransitioner, not only did she become (hyper)feminine again, she also 'realized she wasn't a lesbian'.
No. 208502
File: 1633637435318.png (142.38 KB, 1477x657, helena.png)
>>208446she is insufferable. she seems to have scrubbed her CC clean where she went into depth how she thought gender roles are largely biological and also the tweets where i recall her saying dyke more openly, but heres some choice tweets to laugh at.
"if you take the most /cynical/ perspective possible on the year 1921, barely two years into (some) women getting the vote, one could say they were only taught to be babymakers." she is delusional, lol. and apparently she is oppressed as a woman for wanting to talk about "loving men."
do you guys think she's a self-hating bisexual? i wonder what took her down this route.
No. 208522
>>208520AYRT, polilezzes are why I distanced myself from radical feminism. I hold many of the core beliefs but I can't associate myself with these women, they drive me fucking nuts. The lesbophobia hurts a lot more when you believed that the person who's doing it is just like you. I really don't like queer as a label personally. Might be because I'm an oldfag (nearly 31) and have heard that word mainly used in a derogatory sense, but also because when queer can mean anything… it can also mean nothing. When I was a baby dyke I was welcomed with open arms while calling myself questioning. It's a clear label and people know what you're about. When someone calls themselves queer I just get confused. Could mean they're straight but consider having a fucking pixie cut some sort of daring act of gender non-conformity, could mean they're a troon, could mean anything. Also it's original use was to mean "weird" and I refuse to label my homosexuality as weird, as rough as my internalised-homophobia might be I will never "other" myself like that again. Problem is nowadays when you say "please don't call me queer" you get a horde of Aidens and bihets telling you that you're literally committing an act of violence by policing their identity despite the fact I've never told people not to use it
for themselves.
No. 208584
File: 1633683904581.png (110.04 KB, 1836x515, Brave_anon.png)
>>208275>>208253I don't know which brave anon posted this (picrel), but I'm already worried about the response. It's true though, I have very bad muscle envy. Yet when near a scrote with my goal arms or something, no attraction, just envy. I always wonder what I would've been like if I saw things like Gentleman Jack at a young age. Would I have been more normal? I hate that I on one hand have an extremely deep hatred for scrotes, but on the other they're imprinted on my brain as my competition.
>>208516>>208520>>208522After being told to be repulsed from the queer label through endless repetition, I have actually started to warm up to the label. It's not a word used in my language and some important (to me) authors like Jack/Judith Halberstam and Ivan E Coyote (author of Tomboy Survival Guide and the poem 'butch roadmap', which also helped women detransition) fall under queer theory apparently. I don't want to have to avoid books reflexively just because it happens to fall under queer theory. I really liked Female Masculinity, I thought Jack/Judith did a great job showing how both sides feel about the debate (in 1998 no less!), how radfems feel about it and actually took everyone's concerns into account. I have a feeling that a lot of TRA's haven't even read what they are (supposedly) preaching. Like a bunch of Christians who don't even know what their supposed bible says. Queer wasn't supposed to be for straight women with boyfriends, who think they are a part of the community because of their pixie cut. Queer was originally supposed to be more referring to 'outside of heteronormativity', in academic circles, but that went to shit. It feels culty to have to avoid everything related to 'queer' and go anathema to you, you and you. Not referring to you specifically, but I think some RF spaces can be equally culty to TRA spaces. Meanwhile Dworkin having lesbophobic rants and endorsing
incest and pedophilia in some of her books apparently isn't a reason to immediately throw them collectively in the trash, so they should be capable of nuance by now.
>>208532>>208574>>208580>>208582Only wholesome handholding, or off to the gulag, you male-aligned abuser! I even got shit for pointing out that it's kinda weird for a supposed lesbian to go on a rant about how disgusting it is to even kiss another woman, but instead I was the devil for pointing it out. Polilez are unironically the source for third wave feminism being full of bihets larping as lesbians and for the association of female masculinity with privilege and abuse.
No. 208590
>>208582NTA but c'mon, I really think it's quite tame, and I've seen bi/het women say similar things about men (not that I believe men can be meaningfully objectified in our current society, so even if when women do say very objectifying things about men I do not care at all). It's an offhand comment about a celebrity in a non-public discord space, so while not the same as saying it to a private inner circle, it's not as if she'll ever read it.
I mean, I've definitely said more vulgar about celebrities. Must we always be restrained and classy about our attraction where the people in question will never see it? I know scrotes would make the same argument, but the difference is that theirs is backed by actual societal power and true disrespect for women.
No. 208592
>>208582It was a small discord group of alleged friends. I'm not so stupid I would say that in a large group where I didn't know people. If you think saying that about a celebrity who will never know I even exist, much less that I "objectified" her is scrotey then you must know some real gentlemen. Men seldom express attraction without vulgar details.
>>208584As a butch I've experienced a lot of envy towards men too. Not so much now as I've basically told myself that I'll be my own damn inspiration but when I was younger it was pretty bad. I would never admit it off anon though because the absolute geniuses in the FTM thread would think I'm a bi in a denial who's gonna troon out. True, I have a dysphoria diagnosis but really all that is issues nearly every woman struggles with and my desire to look a certain way that is seldom seen on women (at least in heterosexual society).
I don't get the Dworkin thing either, lady was fucking nuts but she's their Christ on a cross. Find it hard to believe that any real lesbian could be a fan of hers once they found out what she said. Sure, you look her up on social media and see some nice lil curated quotes but if you dig deeper it's not so great. I think that goes to prove that a lot of radfems are either homophobic polilezzes or don't read a single fucking book on the topic, or sometimes both I guess.
No. 208600
>>208597Seconding this request for books on female masculinity. I quite liked Tomboy Survival Guide for something I thought on first glance would be troon adjacent BS. And don't worry,
nonny. You're not alone with these struggles, women like us are more common than you'd think. Stay strong. ♥
No. 208601
>>208595I agree with you that rejecting any and all literature from someone just because they're termed a queer theorist is dumb and jumping the gun. I think many of them have said worthwhile things. I would rather seek alliances with many of them than I would conservatards like Posie Parker or even Megan Murphy who seems to have gone down that route, honestly. And I suspect more of them would be far more willing to reach out to us if it weren't for the males, who benefit from stifling these conversations.
As an aside, if we're being fair here, advocating for incest has also reared its head in some queer theory, so we can't pretend Dworkin is the only perpetuator of that one, unfortunately.
No. 208606
File: 1633692142826.png (776.5 KB, 640x719, TRA_cannot_read.png)
>>208601Sure, but I don't think Halberstam or Coyote are the specific perpetrators of that. It's others under the label of queer theory who have done so. Those two are not really comparable to Dworkin being both the person who had horrific takes and good takes. Judith Butler would unironically be a better comparison to Dworkin. Before I get crucified over this, she's just really bad at getting her thoughts across in writing and she's against the concept that anyone has an intrinsic gender identity, like some sort of internal truth. TRA's are reading things into her writings, which aren't there. She said as much in the recent Guardian article, but everyone focuses on her supposedly dunking on
le evil terfs, when she's seemingly talking more about gc conservatards and blatantly saying that TRA's misinterpreted her.
Even her 'biological sex isn't real' thing is more related to a thought experiment of a planet where sex is seen similarly to height, so a real thing, but just not so emphasized and we wouldn't have patriarchy. She was probably very high while writing these things and it's so convoluted it confuses most people. I swear if TRA's actually understood what she was saying, she would be cancelled as a
terf.
>>208597 >>208600
I'll sit down and make an actual in-depth recommendations list with descriptions and how much if any troon adjacent bs is in there. Sometimes it feels more like it's just a forced-in paragraph or chapter to keep them from being cancelled, which can be easily skipped.
No. 208740
File: 1633752225316.jpg (322.63 KB, 1280x1548, tumblr_426f95b840d4db8d031950e…)
i find it weird when people think butches look like men. even male-passing ones have different faces that distinguish them from guys. like i cant put my finger on it but this lesbian for example: she's probably mistaken for a man a lot but she still looks so female to me? what is it?
No. 208757
File: 1633766886858.jpg (118.06 KB, 874x1024, 4d2efb96946272dc2696f740c084c5…)
>>208740I also think it's weird. Do people just look at the hair and clothes and not the person? Male and female heads and bodies have noticeable differences.
No. 208766
>>208763This is why it kills me when I see other gc butches say they are okay with lesbophobic hets throwing them out of public bathrooms now.
The problem is gross AGP's trying to get in there, who aren't exactly going to dress or look even close to a butch woman. If they still try to throw you out after the first 5 second confusion, it's lesbophobia. Hets will do that even to visibly pregnant butches. It's really not THAT difficult to figure it out
No. 208773
>>208766nta but God my least favourite thing in GC spaces is that weird self-flagellating shit butches do like "unlike TIMs I would NEVER want to make a woman uncomfortable and would gladly remove my hideous threatening butch self from a restroom if Helen McTradwife felt uncomfortable!!!". And then 20 comments from het women like "YAAAS thank you for being so supportive of
real women this is definitely a reasonable expectation for us to have!!!".
I just don't believe that het women actually read butches as male, maybe at first glance but once you get a good look and especially if you hear her voice butches are clearly female. Maybe I'm a cynic but I think 99.9% of the time when a het woman feels unsafe around a butch woman it's because she's homophobic, not because the butch actually passes as male. Butchphobia/lesbophobia is misogyny and I wish more butches were brave enough to say it.
No. 208778
>>208766>>208773Part of me feels bad for those butches as the whole "oh no, it's ok, I'll leave!" schtick absolutely reeks of internalised misogyny and homophobia but on the other hand I wanna scream at these women that they're spineless traitors. Wearing mens clothes and having "unladylike" mannerisms doesn't make butches anything like male trannies and if straight women can't handle that fact then they can fuck off and campaign for a hettie betties only toilet. They can paint all the walls pink and have a nice Acceptable Female time in there. Like I said in
>>208763 I understand that
at a glance I might look male, but if you actually look at my face for more than two seconds it's clear that I'm not. I've had women get spooked by me in the toilets before and I used to apologise profusely but not anymore. If anyone stares at me now I just smile and say hi, no more apologising for my existence.
>Maybe I'm a cynic but I think 99.9% of the time when a het woman feels unsafe around a butch woman it's because she's homophobicSame tbh. That's why I've become more assertive when these situations do happen because I know what these women have a problem with and it ain't that I'm some sort of magical fucking unicorn whose sex is completely indiscernible.
No. 208788
>>208740No idea who she is but she's gorgeous.
>>208787Good luck anon!
No. 208790
>>208773I'm not butch but I agree with this. It's hard to accept a woman would be unable to clock another woman's sex, it's gotta be homophobia at least in most cases. Butch women are amazingly masc but they're still built like women, even muscular ones.
And that's one of the many great things about them lmfao>>208778I love your energy, never change. I hope there are other people around you that can follow your lead on this. I want us all to stand our ground, especially against het women who we can reasonably defend ourselves against.
>>208780Manhate, pinkpill, GC are all banned on lolcow now and have been for a while unfortunately. Hopefully our thread is okay to post about that kinda thing still, idek. The news story itself is harrowing… I didn't know Hong Kong was
that much of a shithole.
No. 208796
>>208786Some just don't get the idea that lesbians are lesbians not because they haven't had dick, nor would change their minds after being dicked. And they have the gall to call Hong Kong girls bitchy.
>>208790Between the death of democracy, the discrimination against East Asian minorities, discrimination against LGBT, and blatant sexism, Hong Kong really isn't the place to be right now. Half of my friend circle are BNO holders and are planning on fleeing to the UK, and I don't blame them.
No. 208819
>>208773Absolutely based post
nonnie and completely agree. Literally nobody reads butches as male and it's all about homophobia and misogyny, it's just an indisputable fact. But butches sadly are conditioned to believe they're comparable to men and should be super self conscious of everything they do to avoid offending tradwifes, more of them should be made aware of this.
No. 208853
>>208839I don't remember the specifics as I have memory issues but I do remember you talking about your situation here and I'm glad to hear you're doing better,
nonny. I went through something similar with my ex and finally letting go of that grudge and accepting that the people who truly know me will know what to believe made me feel very peaceful. Sometimes you really do have to take the high road.
No. 209033
File: 1633932411890.jpeg (1.43 MB, 1422x800, feelgood.jpeg)
I had a really sweet, beautiful dream last night where I had a butch gf and we were fucking and cuddling and fucking over and over and the light shining through our bedroom window was so soft and warm… I'm losing my mind I need to get out there. Thinking about that dream makes me feel all sorts of wistful. picrel show was a gendery bisexual mess but dream gf had short blonde hair and I can't be assed to find a different pic that will fit the post rn.
No. 209102
File: 1633986856856.gif (62.6 KB, 220x163, tenor (2).gif)
>how do you feel about labels?Feels like everyone defines themselves by the clothes they generally decide to wear. You have to fit into /this/ specific box of manly or girly girl for some reason.
Does no one ever like to dress in fun girly clothes one day and practical clothes another? I feel like people expect you to be one archetype and stay that way. But for me it depends on where I'll be and how I feel. Also, I guess when I dress girly it's because I think people are more forgiving of how awkward I am, so I'm cute awkward instead of creepy awkward. And it might throw people off radar so I can seem straight to other girls and my family. If I'm dressing manly/practical, I want to be left alone and escape the prison of femininity (lots of harassment to lots of girls here). But dressing for me would mean big boots and glittery stuff and a skirt that's puffy. Anything that's comfy, flouncy and fun.
>>209101 You're really heckin'
valid, I specifically love that in between of manly and girly girl. But do you dress like that every day? Do you think other people can tell if you're homo by your style and mannerisms?
UNRELATED but the thread pic doesn't look like a couple. They both have the same curly hair, strong nose and level brows. It looks like siblings playing dress up.
And not to dig up old feuds, but are there actual homo women who watch homo men animes and think 'yummy scrummy'? How can a fujoshi who wants to see men that way be a real homo woman? Are they not just bi in denial at least?
No. 209112
>>209101I'm between both in style and mannerism and I feel really comfortable with myself this way. I haven't noticed a lack of attention from lesbians/bisexuals but I do look GNC. If you're "straight passing" I can see why you'd be frustrated.
>>209102Please don't open the fujoshit can of worms anon, I beg you.
No. 209138
>>209102to be fair i've noticed some lesbian fujoshis headcannon male characters as more feminine. A lot of them make fanart or write fanfic involving crossdressing and use feminine adjectives to describe them. I guess they project on male characters.
Either that or they're scrotes.
I might fall under fujo because I like some mlm media but I've never been attracted to the characters. I just like the themes fujo related media often have, e.g. angst, yearning, internalized homophobia. There are some wlw media that have those themes but not nearly as much as the mlm ones, because too many scrotes write wlw. I'm not a fan of fujo media that involves crossdressing, it feels scroteish.
No. 209151
>>209102>How can a fujoshi who wants to see men that way be a real homo woman? Are they not just bi in denial at least?Fuck it, I'll bite.
I love the complexity and beauty of real, live women. Every women I've ever met, even the worst of them, will have something I find inherently interesting or wonderful about them. 2D men are like funny little barbie dolls I can make kiss for my amusement without having to feel guilt for watering down or objectifying other women.
I thought I was bi for around 10 years because I loved 2D boys so much, but the second a real man even looked at me I'd feel physically ill. I was the type of person who would be like "my taste is feminine boys and all women" but when I actually got into a situation where a feminine man was interested in me I was literally physically nauseated at his attraction towards me. I was pretty much only dating or crushing on girls during all that time, but I struggled to call myself a lesbian in part because my fujo tendencies became such a huge part of my hobbies. It helped knowing that I had other lesbian friends who were also fujos, idk why this is common but it is.
I still prefer 2D media with male character focus and m/m ships, maybe because I like that there's little to no chance for misogyny to suddenly appear in the middle of the romance, or because some f/f stuff hits way too close to home. Sometimes when I want to scratch that romance itch, it's hard to pick up a lesbian series and not be hit with longing or old memories, or to pick up a het series and be grossed out on behalf of the woman. With m/m I can just zone out and watch some pretty anime people that barely resemble real men and barely act like real men be happy together.
No. 209154
>>209146Kek I was going to ask the same. Talk about serious tranny vibes
>>209148That's so cute
nonny! I hope you get to see her again
No. 209161
>>209151Your last paragraph summed it up perfectly. I'm a degenerate when it comes to m/m but I can't stomach anything m/f, I always start feeling bad about what the girl character has to go through or get mad over how she's given the worst, objectifying writing possible. Being a lesbian I also can't relate to these het romances at all, whether you want it or not there is always a male to female power imbalance between them, even if fictional.
And as for f/f representation, most seen in fiction are either sexualized ultra femme/femme created by and for scrotes and bihets or woke-pandering, performative, infantilized ~sapphic~ garbage for snowflakes so there isn't much left to enjoy - even if it was a good, interesting lesbian couple there's still a possibility of some moid masturbating over it. They sexualize every inch of being a woman and especially being a lesbian, so you're never safe. But when it comes to m/m material they're absolutely repulsed, especially when it's two female-created men who act and look like nothing like IRL males. A perfect escape, so to say, you're just supposed to read between the lines.
Like you, I also thought I was bi because I liked these fictional 2D anime men. But the thought of being with an IRL man has always been disgusting, unnatural and weird, I thought I just hadn't "met the right one" because why else would I be so attracted to fictional men? When I realized how many lesbian fujos there are and how a large part of the "attraction" was actually me self-inserting into the male character instead of crushing on him or straight out reading the character channelling the female author it all seemed to click.
Too bad so many autistic lesbian fujos are brainwashed into believing it's ~gender dysphoria~ and that they're actually gay trans men attracted to other gay trans men. Butch4butch relationships need to be popularized more.
No. 209163
>>209101I'm butch but my fiancée is "chapstick" or "futch" or whatever the hell you wanna call it. I love her versatility, she's confident in tomboyish stuff (and she loves to steal my clothes but I don't mind 'cause she looks better in them than I do) and confident in traditionally feminine stuff and confident in anything in-between. I really do admire the fact that's she not held back by any norms. I think women like that are the majority nowadays, given that most butches and GNC dykes have trooned out and femmes seem to be dying out too for some reason. I guess the lack of a concrete label makes it hard for women who are "in-between" to actively communicate with each other.
>>209146That anon is a troon and no one here can convince me otherwise. Males are a special kind of retarded when it comes to impersonating women and I can spot them a mile off.
No. 209165
File: 1634034399038.jpg (210.34 KB, 851x1200, EQa2m13X0AAB6d-.jpg)
>>209164>pic related>drops picGood job, me.
No. 209169
>>209102Seconding that you sound like a tranny. But for humor reasons, I'll entertain the fujo question too.
>>209151 nailed it pretty well. I was also one of those "I like feminine men and all women" people, but thought the reason I was never attracted or interested in any RL men was because they weren't feminine enough for my tastes. At some point, after encountering a decent amount of feminine men IRL and trying to look for pictures of men that I was attracted to, I realized that the level of femininity was not the issue, but the maleness altogether. Any time any man expressed attraction to me, I felt completely and utterly repulsed at the idea of being on the receiving end of their affections, even if they allegedly were my "type." I despised the thought of ever having sex with a man and came to understand that my m/f "fantasies" were just me self-inserting as the man.
But anyway, back to the fujoshit. I can't stand m/f ever for the same reasons as other fujo anon, because I can't tolerate when misogyny seeps through into the relationship and it disgusts me to see men attracted to women, lol. It never feels like just two people in a relationship, because the societal implications of such a pairing constantly linger. In retrospect, I've realized the reason I use to avoid f/f when I was younger was because it hit too close to home and the attraction to the characters felt far too genuine.
M/m lets you ignore all the societal power dynamics and just construct a relationship between two individuals without all the accompanying issues. I think I'm different than other fujo lesbians in that I actually heavily prefer f/f to m/m these days, there's just far more trash f/f than there is m/m, or at least garbage in a way I cannot handle. The issue is I'm a complete degenerate who wishes for the content I consume to have some sexual elements, or at the very least erotic, and most 18+ f/f is dogshit made for scrotes where you're supposed to voyeuristically look at two hyper-feminine girls having sex, instead of portrayed in a way where it actually feels like there is a dynamic between them.
There's also considerably more variety in settings and tone when it comes to m/m. Even the best of f/f tends to be of the upbeat, slice of life nature. I enjoy reading characters in an array of times and places, and am also quite fond of (intentionally) twisted & complex relationships, the second of which is exceedingly rare. In any f/f I've found, at least. The most twisted you tend to get is incest, which I hate.
I can get by on m/m erotica because the panels I prefer are the ones where you're not really looking at a male body, but closeups of hands, face shots where the person in question bears zero resemblance to a real male, or anything that's focusing on the words they're saying to each other rather than what they look like. And when they're clothed, any similarity to a real male drops to subzero.
>woke-pandering, performative, infantilized ~sapphic~ garbage for snowflakes Kek, exactly, I hate that shit. I'd literally rather read f/f for scrotes than the sanitized "let's wokely uwu then hold hands" mind-numbing dross that sometimes gets recommended as an alternative.
Anyway, I think it tends to be fairly obvious when a fujo is actually a lesbian vs the comphet masterdoc addled bisexuals who read "lesbians sometimes like fictional men" and ran with it. In my experience, fujo lesbians are more interested in the dynamics, whereas the bis fixate on lusting after a specific male character.
No. 209172
File: 1634037092770.jpg (77.61 KB, 720x894, lilyelsie.jpg)
>>209102Also, the thread pic definitely looks like a couple. Look at the hand placement. It's not as if tons of hetero couples don't sometimes resemble each other.
After doing some googling, it seems to be a promo shoot for Lily Elsie & Adrienne Augarde for a play called the New Aladdin. So not actually a couple, but intended to look like one. Picrel, obviously.
No. 209173
>>209169It's also funny how people keep insisting that characters in fujoshit "don't even look like real men" yet still accuse lesbian fujos of being "closeted bisexuals" because the characters just don't happen to have female sex characteristics. Make up your mind.
>>209172Kek tranny-kun probably needs them to be sloppily making out to be a "real lesbian couple"
No. 209176
File: 1634038881455.jpg (17.94 KB, 422x233, by allah i will hunt you all d…)
No. 209178
>>209175It was referencing to the initial tranny post above sperging about muh closeted bisexuals.
>>209177Sorry anon but seeing how being a fujo is almost synonymous with being a lesbian in Japan and how many nerdy lesbians started realizing their sexuality when talking about sexual things with other girls using boy characters as stand-ins it's a pretty integral part of their identity and bound to come up every now and then. Especially when the thread gets baited by some spinny skirt troon.
No. 209179
>>209148Lesbians just fukkin chug the “all women are queens” juice don’t we.
The staff member at my local boots who handled the flu and covid jabs was a dream. fauxhawk, helix piercings as standard. she was wearing a suit and i was swooning.
No. 209180
>>209177Hey man, I said I preferred f/f. So if you have good f/f to talk about, be my guest.
>>209178Yeah, for whatever reasons anyone wants to theorize about, it's a phenomenon. So it's going to come up sometimes.
No. 209184
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>>209169>quite fond of (intentionally) twisted & complex relationships, the second of which is exceedingly rare.I actually really liked early Orange is the New Black because of this. It had it's own slew of issues overall, but I really loved Piper and Alex's relationship in the first two seasons. They were so messy and
toxic but so interesting and sexy. My friends gave me shit for liking Piper because she's such an awful person, but she was so entertaining to watch because of it.
No. 209187
>>209184The first few seasons of OITNB were my guilty pleasure as well. My favorite was whoever Natasha Lyonne's character and her love interest were. They had a very messy relationship too, iirc.
I just wish we had a female version of Hannibal/Will Graham. It's one of my favorite twisted dynamics. I know Killing Eve hits
some similar beats (and I do love that show, not fully caught up yet though) but Hannigram has more of Hannibal mentally fucking with Will directly and huge abuses of power, which I like.
No. 209190
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I see people sperging about Supergirl (?) on Tumblr and I can't bring myself to watch a capeshit show just to see a lesbian. It looks like they're not even actually dating. Currently debating whether I wanna ruin my nostalgia for The L Word by watching the new qweer~ season. I hear they're gonna pair Shane with a tranny and it's keeping me from watching. Why…
I was super excited about the Locked Tomb book series because it has tropes I like but I discovered the author is a "lesbian" who is happily married to a man. Her cope is that she was a Homestuck back in the day and bought into the idea of non-sexual romance and the quadranted poly bullshit that comic came up with so she married her best friend… for some reason? I hate that. The books are still good and I'll read them but I wish I could erase from my memory the information that she is a fraud.
No. 209191
>>209190I used to have a few friends in the Supergirl fandom on tumblr and they're all high on copium. It's not canon and never will be and the show fucking sucks anyway. I love Katie McGrath but even she can't make that show watchable.
>she was a Homestuck back in the day and bought into the idea of non-sexual romance and the quadranted poly bullshit that comic came up with so she married her best friendThe shit bihet women come up with to defend their attraction to men lmao.
No. 209199
>>209190what's the point in marrying your best friend, why not just live with them long-term? especially if she's an actual lesbian who'd want to leave the door open to marry a woman someday.
being literally married to a man is going to be a massive turn off to any woman looking to pursue real relationships with you. bihets are so goddamn annoying and i don't understand why they're so desperate to call themselves lesbians.
No. 209204
>>209146Can't believe you would say something like this to me. Literally shaking in my aliexpress platform boots rn.
I meant I try to appear feminine because I want straight women to accept me. I used to have girls suspect I was gay, and as soon as word got round it was like fake niceness. Being held at a distance by close friends and girls asking you personal things or 'testing' you. I became really paranoid about appearing homosexual so I feel as though feminine appearances would throw people off.
I would wear a puffy skirt but I hate the way makeup feels and it feels like I'm insulting myself by wearing it. I don't shave but I would love to wear nail polish that makes me happy. I don't think that makes me a 'troon'.
I said 'heckin'
valid' ironically, but it seems as though we both have autism seeing as you didn't get that.
And the fujo stuff, I don't know if they watch it lustfully or because there are no women involved and it's 'distant'. I don't get yowee anime but if you do that's ok.
>>209168I believe you more because you believe that there are some masterdoc readers who think that lusting over men (b-but they're just drawings) doesn't make them bi. There's nothing wrong with being bi anyway, unless you built your identity over being a homo.
However, fujos who enjoy seeing dynamics between two people and relationships unfold from a removed standpoint, I understand, that doesn't necessarily sound lustful. I'm a severe yurifag though and I don't get how it can be better then yuri (I understand the 'troon' comments for me now lul)
>>209173im crying i just said they look similar
No. 209218
>>209204I honestly also thought heckin'
valid was said in full seriousness. Tism strikes again.
Anyway, like I said I do prefer f/f, it's just that the pool is rather limited. So I guess these days I'm a fujo by circumstance.
So many lesbians in this corner of the art scene are fujos that it actually makes me feel a bit scrote-y for liking yuri sometimes. Especially since I tend to get bored if the entire thing is PG (would probably apply less if most yuri wasn't slice of life). I'd like to talk about yuri with more lesbians but troons overrun absolutely any discussion of it. And have shit taste, because they're moids.
I also like yuri VNs but I wish more of them were dating simulator style instead of kinetic novels with a set story. It sort of contributes to the feeling that the experience is meant to be from a voyeuristic, male perspective rather than one where you relate to the characters. It feels very lame to admit that I wish more f/f media was styled in a way where you're meant to self insert but I don't interact with any other media I consume in that matter and I suppose it's alright to be indulgent sometimes.
No. 209351
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>>209340So there are a few sources. One was her Wikipedia, the other was her old Tumblr blog, the third is her Twitter. The tweet announcing her marriage is still up on her Twitter, though the Wiki page has been scrubbed. Her old Tumblr might also still be up, it was all about Homestuck.
https://twitter.com/tazmuir/status/650396880682250241?lang=en No. 209357
>>209339Yeah. It feels like there's no 'just exist' for women. A guy puts on a pair of jeans and a shirt, fine, nobody cares. A girl does that, it's 'trying to be different'? And it feels like you can be called nlog for not wanting to fit into a tiny box of femininity that many other women don't want to be in either. But to fit in that box would also make you frivolous and girly, vain.
For us there's no winning unless we stop caring and seeing ourselves through other people's eyes. I always feel more human surrounded by other women because I'm seen as a fellow, a human, a soul more than a body.
Around men, I feel I become an 'other' either an interest, a nuisance, or something silly. That's why I'm sad places like Michfest may be gone for a while. It was a place for women to be human, to thrive, be safe, freely expressive. It wasn't anti man, it just didn't involve them- and that's why it was so freeing. I hope this website stays up.
No. 209544
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Jannies redtext that like it's a bad thing.
No. 209577
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>>209403kek
nonnie, you reminded me of this webm
No. 209627
>>209620It's not really about being wealthy, rather, I have literally no expendable money right now, also no car, I'd be a complete leech if I met someone right now. I have confidence in some aspects of my life, but I find a deep shame in having to ask people to cover me for basic things like food and drinks if we go out. Ideally, I'd love to be the person treating my date, so not being able to cover my own ass lately is rough. Thanks for the encouragement but I want to get myself reliable income in my field before I can think of myself as ready to date.
Also because my parents are religious, I want to have some money in the chance they decide to kick me out or something if I have a gf. I hid my relationships when I was a teen and I don't want to do that any more out of respect for the girls I'd be dating, but I don't want to come out while still being dependant on my family and risk losing a home. Sorry for blogging, it's just been on my mind a lot lately.
No. 209639
>>209627This post just reminded me of how my longterm gf hides our relationship from her mother. I honestly really hate it, but her mother is retarded and for financial reasons we have to stay at her place at the moment.
It just feels really bad whenever she pulls away from me when her mother comes into the room. Hate that woman.
No. 209655
>>209647>but just because I know a couple fancy words, doesn't mean I've stopped being white trash.I think this is part of it for me too. I don’t want to be dirt poor forever, I’m planning to do community college and at least get out of retail hell. But I’m not ambitious, or career driven. If I had more money I’d want to move to my parent’s hometown and help out my family and smoke pot with my cousins, not live in a nice suburb/city. I could never have a relationship with a woman who didn’t get along with my extremely trashy (but very sweet and not even homophobic) family. Idk I want someone who sees the value in my background because there's a lot I really love about it.
Sorry for blog I just have a lot of feelings kek. I yearn for a woman who will build me a time machine and take me to prom on a tractor.
No. 209666
>>209655Same, I
>>209647 just want to get a trailer or build my own cabin once I have the money for some land, the city is too chaotic for me and I just don't fit in. Grow my own weed and some edible crops. My degree probably makes others think I'm looking to be some sort of powercouple or climb the ladder.
>Idk I want someone who sees the value in my background because there's a lot I really love about it.Same, I'm not American or in/from the US, but I feel kinship as a fellow southerner. There is something relaxed about it, an acceptance of chaos and imperfection within families and people which city folk don't seem to understand, even though cities themselves can be quite chaotic. The food too.
>Sorry for blog I just have a lot of feelings kek. I yearn for a woman who will build me a time machine and take me to prom on a tractor.Sounds like a wonderful dream anon, hope you can realize it!
No. 209671
>>209650 i love the feeling when you meet someone like you and you stop feeling like an outsider for a short while. Always wanting to get into fishing too (i want to be a pirate) so maybe fishing and vintage fashion can be like homo dogwhistles lol.
>>209351Maybe she became bisexual later in life though after starting off being gay. I heard you can change with age.
No. 209703
>>209671>heard you can change with ageNot gonna touch that, another can of worms.
However she still identifies as lesbian, markets her books as a lesbian author, and wants people to think she is same sex attracted and only platonically married to this man.
>>209698Maybe just don't show up to the wedding? While I want you to be able to just wear what you want and not be judged, another perspective on it is that it's someon'es wedding and you showing up in attire that will cause drama is probably a bigger fuck you to your cousin than not showing up. Don't make someone's wedding about you. Just don't go.
No. 209712
>>209703Idk my mom said i can change for the right guy and an anon in the bi thread said she used to be gay until her early 20s, so it seems possible. I think it’s super dishonest of that author to do that though and market herself as something she’s not.
>>209688Kek i love your fiancée for that, we had better colonise fishing so we can congregate. For some reason gay girls end up finding me anyway even though my hair is long. Still don’t know how they can tell. I imagine finding girls like us on the internet to be a nightmare.
No. 209742
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>>209712That anon didn't use to be gay, she just didn't realize she was bi the whole time. You keep referring back to your mom, are you a child or something?
No. 209778
>>209668Sorry for the late reply anon. Yeah, the mother thinks we're just close friends/roommates. We live in a high cost of living area, so it's pretty much impossible to live on your own unless you have a high paying job, so it's acceptable to her for us to be together to split rent and bills.
I have no idea how she hasn't figured it out yet. I guess if there's anything I've learned it's that straight people can very willfully view anything kinda gay as 'they're just friends!' lol.
No. 209809
>>209778The one good effect of people viewing female intimacy as devoid of sexuality and just a "gal pals" thing is that it's pretty easy to stay in the closet when you gotta. My first gf used to come watch my boxing matches and one time after the match she didn't think and gave me a peck on the lips and I was waiting for the aggressively homophobic mean girls to pounce on me for being a dyke and
nothing happened. My gf just awkwardly followed it up with "I'm so proud of you, best friend!" and everyone seemed to buy it kek.
No. 209845
>>209809noo i need a ‘best friend’ to watch my matches and give me pecks ahhh
that is very cute
No. 209864
>>208890>>209006>>209015Update:
We hooked up but now she won't stop flirting with me and acting like an ass during work. RIP though the sex was worth it
No. 209947
>>209929I'm sorry
nonny. You're probably not ugly, dating just really sucks right now. Even without the AGP/couple bullshit, lesbians are rare so it's always gonna be a challenge to find someone.
>Are they all worried I'm going to troon out? This might be part of it unfortunately. Maybe try including a
TERF dogwhistle in your profile? If it's safe for you to do so of course. Also are you into other butches/GNC women too? Or just femmes? I sometimes feel a bit intimidated swiping/hitting on butches because I'm not a femme. If you're into GNC/other butches you could try including a line about that in your profile.
>It's been years and my looks can only go downhill at this point.Also don't fall for this, The Wall is scrote bullshit and women just get more sexy and interesting with age. Especially butches you're gonna be a silver fox.
No. 209949
>>209947>I sometimes feel a bit intimidated swiping/hitting on butches because I'm not a femme. If you're into GNC/other butches you could try including a line about that in your profile. I included B4B in my profile and that I don't have a type, so open to different aesthetics. It's a difficult balancing act to dogwhistle being a
terf, but also not scare off some of the hot nb's. I have found out about the concept gender nihilist, which is apparently accepted in queer circles, but idk if that would be too obviously crypto.
>Also don't fall for this, The Wall is scrote bullshit and women just get more sexy and interesting with age.Logically I know you're right. It's just difficult to believe it when it seems all interest in me evaporated once I grew up. It's as if nobody was ever really into me or into butches, but I was just visible and available. Now I'm obsolete. At least it feels that way. I'm also just not as attractive as other butches, I hope lifting can make up for it.
No. 209951
>>209929I'm butch too and like
>>209947 said you should try and include some
TERF dogwhistles. There is a fear of butches of trooning out but to be fair it is frighteningly common these days. The dreaded "wall" is bullshit though. Women love the naturally grey stripe through my hair that caused me so much anxiety when I started greying. Honestly, I'm very average face wise but as a butch it's easy enough if you keep in shape (not to sound big headed but all the women I've been with have loved my muscles), dress well and smell nice. Not to state the obvious but your personality is what truly matters in the end, especially if you're seeking a relationship. Good manners and a sense of humour go a long way.
No. 209961
>>209929Ditto on the dogwhistle. I still swipe right anyway if it's unclear that they're not a gendie but there have been profiles I hesitated with because it's hard to tell if someone's NB or butch lately. No pronouns, mention of being GNC or some second wave feminism reference (libfems don't know anything about feminist history so it'll fly past their radar). "gender nihilist" seems okay, you can just play dumb. Again most libfems are not living on Tumblr looking to cancel people, the people you meet outside of the internet are not gonna clock a damn thing.
>>209947>women just get more sexy and interesting with ageBig agree. Working out does matter to me personally but wrinkles? Nope.
>>209951You're 100% spot on for me.
No. 210075
>>210070I'm saying this to be kind, not cruel. But you need to start emotionally distancing yourself now, before she gets a gf. This women isn't interested in you and never will be. As much as it hurts to swallow that pill now, it's going to hurt 10x worse later.
>I just KNOW I'll never have this kind of relationship with anyone else.Not with that attitude you won't! This woman is not your soulmate. You have a malignant case of oneitis and if you don't start the chemo today you're going to both ruin your friendship and miss out on your actual soulmate.
No. 210233
Nonas I need to vent for a moment. I'm so done with straight people. I know it's beating a dead horse saying "heterosexuals am i right" but I'm so tired of them always failing to understand homophobia and acting like they have any idea how it is like to feel ashamed for falling in love or finding someone attractive, or full well knowing that your family will disown you if they knew. The trauma of growing up as a lesbian is so severe I don't want to have a relationship at all and I'm probably doomed to be alone for the rest of my days. I considered trooning out for years to escape the shame and guilt of not finding men attractive. I saw myself as a broken woman, a defective woman, someone who shouldn't exist and someone who is universally hated, even in circles that consider themselves "woke". Literally nobody gives a shit about us, especially if you're GNC.
>>209339 described it with perfect accuracy.
>It's so interesting how, when you're feminine enough to pass as straight, women (even bisexuals and some lesbians who know you're a lesbian) think putting the word butch before lesbian gives them the right to unleash their unhinged homophobia because they assume you'll agree if it's not about femmes. So taking all this into account, while all women get harassed and discriminated against for their sex it's in such poor taste for straight women to claim that in fact they are
just as oppressed as lesbians are. Acting as if lesbians aren't below straight and straight-passing women in the societal hierarchy. Acting as if our struggles don't exist, or at least aren't worth explicitly mentioning as a separate issue. Listen, you might know what experiencing misogyny is like but you don't know about homophobia. Nobody will ever systemically shame, ridicule or belittle you for being attracted to men. Never will you know how it is. Someone making a "ugh imagine being attracted to men" jab has no power over you. Having a meltdown and threatening to revoke your allyship due to "heterophobia" tells more about you than the mean lesbian. I will forever defend women and their right to exist as equals to men as a feminist but as a lesbian - fuck your fragile heterosexual feelings and entitlement. Fuck it, keep it out of my face. How the fuck dare you be offended over something so insignificant.
No. 210246
>>210233There was something like this in the vent thread in /ot/ this week. Some idiots getting
triggered cause a lesbian called Seth Rogen ugly and said women should have higher standards when it comes to men so obviously she got called a lescel by some girl virgin
No. 210320
>>210233>>210270Ever since I pruned my social circle and only kept close friends with lesbians my social life has been
so much better. I don't mind having work or gym friends who are bi or het but I'm not letting them get close because I'm sick of covert lesbophobia poisoning my friendships. I get a lot of shit when I talk about this, mainly from bi women who think it's a personal attack on their "queerness" but I just want likeminded friends who get me; it really is that simple. I'm nearly 31 with a serious illness, I'm done wasting time being the token lesbian friend who gets shat on. I encourage any lesbians who are struggling with their social circle not understanding them or being outright lesbophobic to do the same. It's freeing.
No. 210338
>>210267I think so, but then would I enjoy yuri light novels the same? I feel a little ill with myself for being this way and really hope to be a mother one day, but just can’t bring myself to go primal for a man like I do a woman- so would I raise kids without any natural father figure
just because of my lusts? I didn’t choose to be this way, so it’s not an ill intentioned choice, it just doesn’t go with my values, furthermore, I feel so othered to other women and disappointing to family who don’t like the lifestyle (even though i doing choose it) so I think being straight would be less mentally burdening. Like
>>210233 said, the ‘broken woman’ feeling is real.
>>210320I hate the words ‘queer’ and ‘queerness’, it feels like people treat it like a hogwarts house or personality type.
People who would fit into society and be able to live normally just desperate for a spicy little label. Whoever said ‘when everyone is queer, no one will be queer’ was wise.
>>210246 I don’t like lesbophobia, experienced a lot of it, but sometimes I think lesbians can be a little misogynistic because they feel so othered to other women due to being different. So I understand the ‘lescel’ label, but hate being treated like a kind of foreigner by other women.
No. 210351
>>210338> I don’t like lesbophobia, experienced a lot of it, but sometimes I think lesbians can be a little misogynistic because they feel so othered to other women due to being different. So I understand the ‘lescel’ label, but hate being treated like a kind of foreigner by other women.I mean. Straight women being raging lesbophobes is also misogynistic, lesbians are still women even if other women think we're icky. And acknowledging that Seth Rogan is gross is not heterophobia or misogyny. Idk I feel like a lot of lesbians fall into a trap of giving straight women too much credit and assuming that if they hate us it's because there's a
valid reason. There isn't though, lots of straight women are just normal homophobes who give gay men a pass because they're sassy and fun. I'm not saying it's impossible for lesbians to be assholes but honestly 99.9% of the time when a straight woman is complaining about lescels it's because she's a homophobe, not for any deep reason.
No. 210367
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>>210364But wait, it gets dumber.
No. 210369
>>210365When I was in middle school a girl confessed her feelings to a straight girl and the reactions were insane. Straight girl told the whole school and acted as if she had been literally assaulted. Using words like “disgusting”, “pervert”, “I just don’t even feel SAFE anymore I had NO IDEA she was even a DYKE.” to describe the experience of an 12-year old girl asking if she wanted to be girlfriends. It didn't even happen in real life it was an MSN conversation I just do not believe this girl felt legitimately threatened by an nonthreatening nonsexual MSN message.
Even now my
pathetic female-socialization instinct is to be like "that being said I definitely have sympathy for the straight girl because hey from her perspective we ARE disgusting monsters and the 12-year old lesbian really should have been more mindful of that #solidarity #supportourstraightsisters.". But that's retarded right? Like I can understand feeling awkward if a lesbian asks you out because yeah unreciprocated feelings are always awkward, but it's the automatic jump to 'predator' that makes me cranky. Sorry for rant. Idk it's really hard to integrate wanting to always make women feel comfortable and safe with the reality that lesbophobia exists and sometimes it actually isn’t our fault if they’re uncomfortable.
>>210362She's stunning holy shit. Why do the hottest butches always have to be the most retarded.
No. 210371
>>210351>99.9% of the time when a straight woman is complaining about lescels it's because she's a homophobe, not for any deep reason.Based and truthpilled. Never have I seen an abundance of these fabled bitter lesbian incels who try to pressure straight women into dating or sleeping with them or trying to shame them into homosexuality. Complaining about the small dating pool or wondering out loud how straight women can take the bullshit men give them isn't trying to homorape them. It's all about them being disgusted with lesbians and seeing them as the predatory homosexual trope, nothing more, nothing less.
>>210365Homophobic straight women lose their minds over butches and give their best effort to frame them as rapey Men Lite who will assault you the moment you turn your back around. It was discussed upthread how they try to pass it as them just "being afraid of males and reading them as such" or they "had bad experiences because a butch tried to hit on them once" yet simultaneously are completely comfortable being around with men.
>>210369>Even now my pathetic female-socialization instinct is to be like "that being said I definitely have sympathy for the straight girl because hey from her perspective we ARE disgusting monsters and the 12-year old lesbian really should have been more mindful of that #solidarity #supportourstraightsisters.".Yep, it's bleak as fuck. Couldn't count the times a "straight sister" has been absolutely disrespectful to me and my boundaries yet I'm supposed to be the assigned pervert and constantly apologize for existing.
No. 210383
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When I was first introduced to my home town’s lesbian/qweer scene as a teen like 15 years ago basically no one ever talked in terms of top/bottom stuff and even strongly identifying as femme or butch was kind of seen as somewhat cringy or at least really old-fashioned. It was seen as a given that gender roles are ultimately bs and that everyone’s allowed to do and wear and be whatever the fuck they wanted without further ado. I guess I thought this was like the standard or something but it must have been just a very brief period in time where this sort of culture was normal because it turns out a lot of lesbians are absolutely obsessed with their soft girly asexual powerbottom megatop stone butch pillow princess yes we exist micro identity shit, and suggesting women aren’t genetically wired to desire wearing frilly pink dresses is now troonsphobic and offensive and idk. I thought this obsession with top/bottom talk and who opens the jars and who’s the big spoon was a troon thing as well but maybe it’s not. It still makes me cringe though.
No. 210384
>>210383It's weird how the top/bottom dynamic made its way to the lesbian sphere like that and people made being a sub or a dom their entire personality. Way back me and my then girlfriend were asked which one is the "male" in the relationship so I guess heteronormativity just has to be implemented in some other form when both partners are the same sex.
It's retarded, I don't want to be a "top" or a "bottom" because I don't live in a 2deep4normie vanillas BDSM relationship. I get preferences like leaning towards more submissive or more aggressive type but it shouldn't be the status quo. Really telling when you have to make up redundant labels like "demisexual" in our pornified society, everyone has to be defined by their sexual behavior first and foremost.
No. 210387
>>210362>>210367>"terfs DNI" in bio>can't see the irony of her own postschrist, she's retarded…
she'll troon out soon. guaranteed.
No. 210400
>>210390NTA but the particular accounts I follow on tumblr are mostly other lesbian radfems and lesbian separatists. I haven't found any lesbo or butch phobia in my feed in the few months I've had my Tumblr account but I'm not gonna say it doesn't take place elsewhere. I do avoid straight radfems for the most part but I follow a few still. My feed is consistently lesbians acting naturally, celebrating our attraction to women and getting no hate from the radfems for it, notes included. I don't think it's right to paint with such broad strokes, for me joining radblr was such a huge gain, it helped me feel normal in my libfem pornsick shithole of a city. Radfem discord servers all seem cancerous though, I'm guessing they're thoroughly riddled with cancer like most discord servers are. The only thing I wish radblr did less is dunk on trannies as their main form of praxis, as you said. They also share resources but a lot of it is doomposting and seldom any real volunteer opportunities. I do see it sometimes, but it is primarily a tool to radicalize yourself and others. Radblr is not an activism group. I unfollow accounts or mute tags that annoy me and use it that way, if it ever comes to that.
As with all online spaces, the block button is your friend. I haven't had to use it because just following the right accounts was good enough for my timeline but in case you do need an online community and are negatively impacted by random users, abuse the block button.
>>210399No matter how fat she is, a woman will always have a better personality than a man and thus is appreciated outside of her appearance. Something a scrote lacks the capacity for. If you're gonna date a man, date one that hasn't given up on being in shape especially given their biological advantage when it comes to staying fit.
No. 210401
>>210246Feel like adding that being rude back to a seething retard isn't lesbophobia or ending allyship. One can support lesbian rights irl but still bitch out a sperg. Don't whine about that if you want to be a ~mean lesbian~. If you can dish it out, you can take it.
Also lesbians will never understand what it's like to be in a romantic relationship with an oppressing class, just like heterosexuals will not experience homophobia.
>>210246Who was talking about dating? I 2
100% agree with you though.
No. 210490
>>210075You're right, but it sucks. Somehow the idea of her finding someone else is less painful than us both being single and not being together. Like, "you're complaining about wanting a gf but I'm right here? Hurry up and find someone then before I get my hopes up." That said, even small ways of distancing myself hurt. We're so close that something like not sleeping in the same bed when I visit feels so sad and lonely.
>>210094Bonds of love are chosen and she's the one that made me realize that, but I thought I was choosing platonic love until it was too late and I realized just how intense things had gotten. You and the other
nonnie are right, that I should find a way to move on, but it's so hard when she's such a big part of my life and she's one of the only people so far I've ever wanted to make the effort for. I want to find someone else eventually, but it's too confusing and painful right now. A pathetic part of me just wants to wallow and pine for as long as I can.
I know I'm just whining and blogging, but I don't have anywhere else to put this because we have the same friend group and follow each other everywhere online, hah.
No. 210494
I had a mild argument today (or yesterday, rather) with my bisexual friends about if it's possible to sleep with the sex that's not within your sexuality. I had been complaining about people who declared themselves "lesbians" but still opted to sleep with men because they were horny/bored, and my friend jumped in to say that it was possible to sleep with someone that you aren't attracted to because of the physical sensations. Which I don't disagree with, but when you're homosexual or any exclusive sexuality, the sex that you're not capable of feeling sexual attraction to is… beyond just a vague sense of unattraction. I could not find pleasure with a male body, at all.
I literally am repulsed at the thought of sleeping with men. Even if I were to close my eyes and focus purely on the physical sensations, I just hate the thought. It's different than just having sex with a woman that I'm not particularly into. I attempted to explain this to her, but she dismissed it as me being "especially man-hating." Most of them agreed with her, and when I tried to suggest that perhaps their perspective is skewed because they're bisexual they brushed it off.
It was a petty argument at the end of the day but it's just so frustrating to me how bisexual people sometimes don't understand the concept of an exclusive orientation. Like, if someone is capable of seeking pleasure with a man, even if they don't prefer it, they are just… not a lesbian. She could be a very female-leaning bisexual, and that's perfectly alright and fantastic, but she has a distinct experience to me and other homosexuals. After realizing I'm a lesbian (and even before, but I don't dismiss the experience of some lesbians who have been pressured into having heterosexual sex) I would never, ever sleep with a man, no matter how bored or horny I am. My sexuality just doesn't operate in that manner.
I suppose I just had to rant a bit, kek.
No. 210630
>>210503You took the words out of my mouth, anon, holy shit. The amount of times that people have verbally doubted my sexuality to my face is astounding, and then they continue to pressure me to give men a try or that I just haven't found the right one yet. It feels like people genuinely believe there's no such thing as a lesbian, and the only lesbians are women who are too butch to be considered attractive to men. It's irritating to think about how I've had gay male friends "come out" and nobody prompts them to rethink their sexuality and break down their lack of attraction to women, but when I come out, it's unthinkable. My lack of attraction to men is just as
valid as a straight male's, but somehow people fail to grasp this.
>>210526Your sister sounds genuinely awful, anon, I'm sorry that you have had to deal with this. I also wish that it was easier to find lesbian spaces that don't necessarily include every other letter of the gay community. I just want lesbian friends that aren't lesbians because they're mad at their boyfriends or just straight men who like yuri porn. But I hope that everything goes well with the girl you like, things might turn out better than expected!!
No. 210886
>>210882Recent studies show that lesbians in long term relationships do have sex less frequently, but for longer when it does happen. Also it's more a general long term relationship thing, not specific to lesbians. The term first came into existence because in 1982, sociologists Pepper Schwartz and Philip Blumstein published American Couples: Money, Work, Sex, the first major study of its kind to compare gay male, lesbian, and heterosexual couples on basic issues such as sex, communication, and money. Among many other findings, their research showed that lesbian couples had less frequent sex than anyone else. And thus was born the meme of lesbian bed death.
Personally I haven't experienced this in the one long term relationship I had, we had an equally high libido, but the meme does make me pause before entering another relationship.
No. 210946
>>210882I think it's a bit of a meme because declining frequency of sex seems to be a feature of many long term relationships, not specifically lesbian ones. Dead bedrooms can happen for a variety of reasons, including the most obvious which is that a relationship has just over-stayed it's welcome.
I have a really high libido as well and I'm mostly just interested in casual relationships, kek, but I wouldn't be too worried about it if I ever decided to enter a serious relationship as long as me and her had similar libidos to start with.
No. 210977
>>210882LBD is nonsense. My longest relationship was 7 years long and sex was very regular throughout. If you and/or your partner find your interest in sex diminishing, it's time to check your stress levels, hormone levels, and whether you actually want to be in a long-term relationship with her. Too many lesbians have a hard time letting go of dead relationships, especially the
toxic ones.
No. 210978
>>210976If you're feeling a bit out of your depth now, imagine what it's like when you have to perform this rough sex with her several times a week. Is that something you want to commit to?
Speaking from experience, I'd stay clear of getting involved with her. I dated a woman like that and her sexual preferences were an extension of her outlook on life. Nothing was ever good enough for her, everything had to be amplified so she could "feel something", and when her standards weren't met she blamed me for all sorts of things that had nothing to do with me.
No. 210986
>>210978anon, i feel like you're projecting a bit. this woman other anon was speaking to just expressed her sexual interests at what seems to be the beginning of a burgeoning relationship, not displaying dissatisfaction at a lack of escalation when they were already a bit in.
although it is good, of course, to ask yourself if you're interested in routinely having rough sex, because if you're not particularly into the idea
yourself and merely as a function of wanting to please her, it will eventually wear on you.
>>210976i don't exactly know the framework you're working from because you said more than you're familiar with and i'm unsure of what you are familiar with,
but the obvious go-to is to pin her down and not let her move too much. try biting her inner thighs while you finger her. slide your hand to the back of her head to grip her hair. cover her mouth, but be sure to not restrict her breathing. if you're eating her out, keep your hands on her hips to control how she squirms. No. 211249
>>211167I'm 29 and I'm in the process of getting a degree which means I'm around a lot of younger people everyday, there's these two girls who are barely 20 that are currently really into me and keep insisting on something happening saying age doesn't matter, no matter how much i explain it to them they really can't grasp the concept i don't find an almost 10 year old gap attractive or exciting.
to think there are older women who are actively looking for it it's weird as fuck tbh.
No. 211278
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Recently caught up with an old artist I used to know and she's """queer""" now and has been posting shit like picrel. I'm so disappointed. I used to look up to her
No. 211279
>>211249Yep. And yes younger people, much like teens, think they're super grown and can handle it but the person with the developed brain needs to have some responsibility here and not get into something they can easily manipulate. Glad you're a normal person nonita.
>>211278Seasonal lesbian, that's new.
No. 211499
>>211248It's more popular with gay men but lesbians do it a fair bit too. I started going to gay bars when I was 15 and at the start things were good, the adults who were regulars knew me and my friends were underaged but they also knew that A: we just wanted a community and B: getting us kicked out means we'd just go to another bar, so they looked out for us. They never let us drink too much, they walked us to the bus stop or taxi rank, made us call to say we got home and most importantly they chased off anyone hitting on us. This was people of all stripes: gay guys, lesbians, bisexuals, hell even the drag queens would tell me off for going over the agreed two alcoholic drinks limit. Thing is that not everyone was so protective, older women frequently hit on me and I actually had a "relationship" with a woman in her 30's when I was 15. She was 17 years older than me but groomed me by telling me how "mature" I was. I genuinely believed we were dating though, I actually thought I loved the bitch. I know at least 5 other girls who were sleeping/having relationships with women 10+ years older than them at that time. As much as those wonderful people looked out for us, they couldn't keep an eye on us 24/7 and I was so stupid I found the sneaking around to be part of the thrill. Things also changed drastically when I hit 16 as that meant I was legal, because hey who cares about morals, amirite? I was only drinking two drinks a night, it's fine that a woman nearly old enough to be my mother is taking me home! Don't get meme'd into thinking women are
that much better than men, trust me we're not. I have mother issues and have been a magnet for these kinds of women. The woman I mentioned wasn't the only one I slept with either. I also slept with my ex-teacher when I was 16, she said it was ok because I was the age of consent and I had dropped out of school by then. I think a big part of why I was so easily groomed is that the gay community loves to harp on about how the rules are so much different (read: noncier) for us because of how we're treated by heterosexual society but it's bullshit. It's no excuse for fucking barely legal teens who aren't mature enough to know any better.
Tl;dr: women are shit too and gay bars will always harbour inherently predatory people and they'll blend in so well with the "good" ones that you won't notice it until after they've took advantage of you.
No. 211537
>>211496the biggest thing that confuses me is some polilez
are actual lesbians but they think it's possible or a good idea for str8/bi women to "choose" to be lesbians
No. 211745
File: 1635754925343.jpg (70.93 KB, 563x540, ad239c9fccf749c0a4d4611bee58d4…)
>Flirting with a cute girl who's completely my type
>She comes out as bi
>Catch feelings over time
>Find out she has a boyfriend
>Boyfriend is the biggest fuckboy ever
>Seethe because this happens every time
The life of a lescel I swear. The lesbians I know have all trooned out and the "bisexuals" are just spicy straights. Put me out of my misery nonnas.
No. 211813
>>211766Like
>>211794 said, troon feelings don't matter. If you really wanna be careful and not be ostracised for
terf crimes then ask for pronouns or something although that's a double edged sword as some butches might think
you're the genderspecial for asking, maybe try including the word "butch" in your compliments. "butches have the best fashion sense" or whatever; trust me you'll know if they're FTM or non-binary because they'll look at you like you just spat in their face for you using the B word kek. It's a very confusing thing to navigate, I know. I'm butch myself and flirting is so fucking weird unless everyone's put their cards on the table. I will say that a lot of GNC women like myself are worried about ye olde predatory butch stereotype so it might take a bit more effort from you to get the ball rolling. Godspeed,
nonny.
No. 211898
File: 1635849240099.jpg (45.38 KB, 720x895, 1615061434369.jpg)
I went to an LGBT halloween party recently. Was my first time going to an LGBT event and the most adorable girl was there. She was super petite with a gothy/alternative style, unironically kind of looked like picrel. She kept dancing with me and smiling at me, initiating contact and stuff.
So of course I end up being way too spergy and awkward to actually ask for her phone number or take any initiative and the party ends without me even knowing her name. I guess I couldn't really believe a girl that cute would be legitimately into me and didn't want to embarrass myself. Still, good feels even though I was a dumbass.
No. 211963
>>211898Why don’t you ask in the group for her number? Maybe she would appreciate it.
Unless it’s some Facebook stuff, then you could try finding her through the people following the topic or something.
And I’d you got friends who went to the party, you could ask around for her.
No. 211976
I went to a Halloween dinner party and talked to a very attractive gnc woman who had a very quirky costume. I think she's a gender special, since she was referred to with an unambiguous guy's name. She was talking with her friend about going down on women and I just kinda kept quiet, I didn't expect that so suddenly. Then quickly her and her friends were talking about how they went to a party the other day where they all choked each other and played spin the bottle (while several also claimed to be asexual?). Then talked about how they are all poly and then avoided me the rest of the evening, because I probably came across quite awkward. I'm not a virgin, but I'm not used to this weird crap. How am I ever going to date again in this strange climate? It happened all so fast.
>>211766I second
>>211813 compliments with "butch" in them are a safe bet. I think people tried to figure it out with me by asking for my name or showing me a woman on Instagram they thought looked like me and watching my reaction? Also someone has to really make it clear to me that they're interested in me, I don't want to be like a scrote who sees signals where there are none.
No. 211984
File: 1635893171587.jpeg (148.47 KB, 696x1024, FC9bIxGXsAsA9IX.jpeg)
Why is half the thread talking about bisexuals, men or trans?
Let's talk about us instead and share some pics.
No. 212059
>>211953Why would it be weird? Penetration doesn't mean hetero sex, you can use fingers or toys. I love being penetrated because that's just how my anatomy works but I'm still repulsed by men.
>>211989Bless you anon, we need more butch4butch material.
No. 212078
>>212075lmao that’s so dumb. i won’t even use realistic toys.
like it’s not even about the dildo. it’s about the girl wearing it.
No. 212085
File: 1635961018603.jpeg (104.75 KB, 750x454, A9F4D2E9-3305-4532-828B-BF05AF…)
kek
No. 212101
>>212083I've seen that too and it's always from the polilezzes. Blowing Nigel on the side is comphet that you should totally get a pass for but two women fucking with a piece of a silicone is heteronormative. Seriously dangerous levels of copium kek.
>>212085Troons? Violent? As the kids on twitter say, "we been knew".
No. 212209
File: 1636011068993.jpg (747.96 KB, 2000x1500, butchbackmountain.jpg)
>>212183The time I talked to a polilez about it, she said that if men never existed, nobody would have ever thought of putting something up there. Which is why they aren't just against straps, but also against fingers, anything up there. When I said that it underestimates the curiosity of humans and that surely someone would think of trying it, my feminism got called into question and I was yet again considered "male-aligned". Tribbing is also just an invention from porn according to them, even though there are clear mentions of it in Anne Lister's diaries. Liking tits was also bad, because it's a cultural phenomenon and evidence that we're just as coombrained as men supposedly. They probably have found something to make oral taboo too, because only handholding on a Tuesday is allowed according to polilez. I've already seen some who were proud that they thought kissing is gross.
Pic to pay tribute before anyone complains that there's not enough talking/posting about lesbians?
No. 212236
>>212218I remember a debunking link going around, it basically showed that the study referred to women in lesbian relationships that have been
victims of DV
in the past and surprise, many were abused by men.
No. 212238
File: 1636038472510.png (73.79 KB, 556x321, 1618357073429.png)
>>212218People usually refer to one particular study, with a tiny lesbian sample size, which was about the percentage of people who experienced DA. For lesbians, it included male ex lovers. Here's a deboonk from a previous thread
No. 212272
>>212252> butch femme typeWhat?
It's 2021 can we let go of these terms? They're becoming more meaningless by the day. That aside, I hope you find your dream gf anon.
No. 212277
>>212276That wasn't my point, because I was not even aware that it was an issue. Must be an anglophone problem. Still I think it's stupid having these labels in our current times. Evidently, people who dress or act "butch" have not and will not disappear. Maybe I've outgrown the community. Kisses
nonny.
No. 212293
>>212249Thanks
nonnie!
I guess I'll just ghost her No. 212309
File: 1636123776185.jpg (121.2 KB, 960x720, DjS-I9qVAAEyExK.jpg)
>>212288Just once I'd like to come in here and not see trannies or tranny adjacents speaking in tongues. Just
once. I swear a lesbians over 25 thread would help mitigate this.
No. 212340
>>212323>i don't want to look like a tif.Then stop contradicting yourself with shit like "butch femme" then. Just be
you. I'm butch and the one thing I have that no Aiden does is the fact that I'm truly comfortable in who I am. Well, a good sense of fashion, natural coloured hair that isn't cut into something stupid like a mullet or an emo cut and hygiene helps too. But you get what I'm saying. I get tentatively they/them'd and even he/him'd by workers who are being polite/trying not to get fired but the majority of lesbians I meet read me as a butch based on my body language. I can't explain it properly because I'm a sped but just relax and embrace yourself. Other people will pick up on it.
No. 212365
>>212360I'm not stone but I'd have no issue dating a stone woman.
>because the only thing I really get off to is pleasuring another woman who is whimpery/sensitive and at least a little submissive to me. I would never call this "horrifically twisted and predatory", not at all. You aren't fantasizing about beating and raping women right? "I wanna pleasure a woman until she's a whimpering mess" is a pretty vanilla fantasy. Even the
strap blowjob isn't too bad, it's a bit porny but I don't think it's inherently degenerate or harmful to women or whatever
honestly I'd probably try it as long as the strap was as non-phallic as possible.
I don't think there's anything wrong with you as long as you're upfront about it with potential partners. However I also hate the meme that like being stone is a sacred innate identity that must never be questioned or changed. Do you want to be stone? I think that if you personally want to open yourself to being touched there might be things you can try. Cutting out porn, dealing with body image issues, etc. But I don't think it's like, an inherently terrible thing that you're morally obligated to 'get over' if you're happy with yourself as you are.
No. 212404
File: 1636197390557.jpg (4.8 KB, 225x225, AtAHfMk.jpg)
I am so lonely. Should I just get a dating app acc? I heard they're filled to the brim with scrotes, and bicurious women.
No. 212412
>>212360Anne Lister was stone and she didn't have any access to porn like that nor described any traumas or whatever, so you're probably fine in that regard and she eventually found a long-term partner centuries ago. So technically it should be even easier nowadays. I've seen enough women on apps who identify as pillow princesses. So from what I can tell, stone butches are quite wanted, especially if you're into feminine women.
Personally I'm mainly a faggot butch/butch4butch, which is also looked down upon in the ~community~, there is no way to win really. There is always someone who thinks your sexuality is wrong when you're a female homosexual.
because I slept in the past a lot with feminine questioning women, who never returned the favor and expected me to always be dominant, I now prefer to be dominated? by other butch women. But it's complicated, because me indicating my attraction is often viewed as an invalidation of another butch's masculinity and just nooo I like you BECAUSE you're masc. Beat me in a wrestling match and have your way with me, that's all. I'm not exclusively butch4butch, but due to my past experiences, I don't think I could be vulnerable with a feminine woman without A LOT of coaxing and reassurance and I'd be practically situationally stone.
No. 212416
File: 1636214882718.png (900.28 KB, 640x548, EjYV7AzVcAAIh8C.png)
>>212404They definitely are but get it anyway. Don't limit yourself to one channel to meet new people. Participate in fandom if you're creative (upthread has examples of people meeting their gf's through creating together), go to larger group LGB(prob also gonna be T depending on your city) meetups IRL and also use apps. Do it all if you really wanna meet a woman.
No. 212446
File: 1636233974060.jpg (187.14 KB, 768x432, now-theres-a-name-i-havent-hea…)
>>212412>faggot butchMan, I miss the good old days when butch4butch women - although still frowned upon - were easier to find. I miss intentionally towering over other butches and subtly flexing to get them all nervous and tongue tied or having a homoerotically charged arm wrestle or play fight. I've had some great times with femmes, don't get me wrong. But faggy butches rile me up like nothing else on this planet. Sad to think they're a dying breed, along with the rest of us butches.
No. 212470
>>212469Not only why but
how would you even get doxxed?
No. 212515
>>212446I read your post several times already and I'm only responding now, because what you wrote alone already gets me riled up. Fuck, why am I so easy? I also miss homoerotically working out together, tension building while spotting each other. Or hiking and going for something impromptu behind/up against a tree in a secluded spot.
Yeah seems like many who would've been butch4butch in the past are now transmasc4transmasc or something like that.
No. 212593
>>212588There is no way to escape, so you can want all you want, but it's just not an option.
I'm seconding
>>212592 No. 212622
>>212588I relate to some of your bitter feelings here, I dealt with it in the past. I personally ended up thinking about the kind of person being so bitter makes me. I thought of a future opportunity I will squander to eventual deep insecurity that will eat away at me. I decided to focus my energy on the positive things that come with being a lesbian and just enjoy my perspective in life. The only perspective I am capable of having, my own experience. I've grown to love being a lesbian regardless of whether there is someone in my life right now, it matters but it doesn't matter
that much. Straight people don't stop existing when they're not dating. They don't stop being straight. I don't either, my existence as a lesbian is all of me, not just the me who has a relationship. Someone on here actually helped steer me towards the right mindset, you can't move through life to something positive by being a bitter fuck.
No. 212723
>>212446>>212515dammit reading both of these posts inspired me to write the gayest fucking song about unrequited butch4butch crushing
why are we all like this
No. 212866
>>212856That's so fucking cute.
>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? I'm a man hating crazy cat lady.
>which ones don’t fit you at all?I'm like, the opposite of a uhaul lesbian. I'm so overly cautious and have avoidant attachment issues, it's so hard for me to fall for someone let alone actually commit to a relationship. I fall in love at a snail's pace.
No. 212874
>>212866>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? I'm butch, vegan, love cats, hate men, I come across as aggressive etc.
>which ones don’t fit you at all?I don't do uhauling (also avoidant), I'm more into other butches than femmes, I'm not stone, I like baking
No. 212890
>stereotypes I fit
GNC in general. "lesbian voice", RBF/aggro to male strangers, flannels and weird print shirts, carabiner and no purse, love cats, leftie, eboy-adjacent hair, very short nails, carry a knife, leg hair. Realizing how superficial most of the stereotypes are as I type them out. What I love about us is that we're complete people with many facets. I'm kinda into the fact that hetties aren't even capable of seeing us as we really are, it's like a secret between us, how vibrant each lesbian is inside.
>stereotypes I don't fit
Not a vegan, was though.
Not a Uhaul specifically in terms of moving in together. I don't want to live with anybody else, ever. I'd prefer to be neighbors with my gf until the end of time. We can cultivate our own private spaces and visit each other. Spending the night or staying over a few days isn't a problem but long term I really need to be able to stay completely alone. It's not an easy sell I guess but idc. I commit fine romantically though, I actually don't like to beat around the bush and avoid things like that. I just need my nest to be mine is all.
Autumn reeeally made me wanna get a gf and be cozy with her but I'm too swamped with multiple IRL things to make time for someone properly atm. Next year around this time I'm gonna be spoiling my new gf though, trust.
No. 212955
>>200981>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? Sporty, obsessed with playing ball sports since I was a toddler. GNC dress. Obsessed with cats. Hate men. Dislike children or at least don’t want any. Is that a stereotype? Idk. Drive a Subaru and only ever will drive Subarus. I love combat boots. I also love camo.
>which ones don’t fit you at all?I have long hair and wear makeup. I don’t have visible tattoos or piercings. My friends are all straight women. Apart from my sports teams, I’m not involved in the lesbian “scene”.
No. 212958
>first crush?
I would just crush on friends at school, my first kiss and sexual experience was with a girl
>what’s your local lesbian scene like?
Active but low-key, in my time it was filled with "straight" women who would do obviously gay things and claim they were just joking around or that it "didn't count"
>favourite lesbian media? lesbian media you hate?
The cute cottage core lesbian Pinterest ladies, I hate lesbian media that encourages full on dykiness because it feels like being gay somehow strips you of your femininity which scares a lot of gay women into straight relationships
>coming out stories
I never really came out per say, I just did my own thing and people minded their business
>are there any cows you’d uhaul with?
June, Yumi king, Mrs Midwest, Belle Delphine and graveyardgirl
>what's your type?
Taller than me (4'11) fairly fit/skinny, small breasts, long limbs, small butt, pretty face and long hair, good complexion
>how did you know you were gay?
>which lesbian stereotypes do you fit? which ones don’t fit you at all?
I'm very girly so femme would be it for me, I'm also a huge man hater and refuse to associate with anything masculine and don't associate with the LGBT community due to it being filled with troons and misogynistic gay men who act obnoxious about it
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?
Yes, definitely made Barbies kiss, I really hated men, refused male friends and when my friends had boyfriends I would try to separate them. I also beat other boys a lot
One of my biggest issues is that it sometimes feels forceful to me to act more masculine when I'm not like that at all, or the pressure to be with butch women. I'm literally so feminine that I want to share my life and love with a woman who's just as feminine as me and we can do cute stuff like sew dresses and have ultra girly bubble baths together with tea and put makeup on each other and do cute Pinterest garden crafts but so many lesbians often get pressured into acting more masculine than they really are.
No. 212964
>>212962lesbians are always depicted as athletic, manly and it's uncommon for them to be girly and if they are girly then they aren't depicted as a total lesbian but bi or just experimenting
>>212963My bad I forgot some of you have tradthot ptsd. Just replace "feminine" with "girly" and you wouldn't have said anything
No. 212978
>>212964>lesbians are always depicted as athletic, manly and it's uncommon for them to be girly and if they are girly then they aren't depicted as a total lesbian but bi or just experimenting Majority of lesbian couples in tv shows and movies have been femme4femme lesbians, so idk what you are on about. Entire books have been written about this phenomenon. Everyone thinks it's more subversive to only show feminine lesbians, to the point that every gnc woman on tv always has this big reveal that she's straight (like Brienne of Tarth or the one butch character in "But I'm a Cheerleader").
>>200981>first crush?P!nk, Texas (the singer) and irl my first gf
>what’s your local lesbian scene like?Dead, full of agps
>favourite lesbian media? Leasebound, Maxine Harlow comics/cartoons, If These Walls Could Talk 2, Take My Wife, Killing Eve, Gentleman Jack, Jack & Diane and The L Word (guilty pleasure). Singers like KD Lang, Amy Ray and Renee Phoenix.
>lesbian media you hate?The majority. Fried green tomatoes movie literally erased the butch character. Most of the recent lesbian themed movies were period dramas with two feminine women quivering from handholding. One of the most well made lesbian themed movies was made by AGPs (Bound), just why. Blue is the warmest color is shite. The rest is filled with the bury your lesbian trope.
>coming out storiesI didn't really get to come out, I was in a glass closet. I got called slurs before I even realized it about myself.
>butch? femme? how do you feel about labels?I have noticed that more conforming lesbians hate labels, because to them femme is just standard and what everyone should be. Just because it's not labeled, wouldn't stop people from hating on masc/butch/tomboy lesbians and as long as we're a minority, it's nice to be able to find your tribe by having some sort of shared word. Whether it's butch, kesser vater, marimacha, Tom, Rekkalesbo, sapatão, etc. There are words for this concept in a lot of different languages, all over the world. They started as slurs oftentimes, but many have been (partially) reclaimed. I'm getting sick and tired of people using the "only the Anglosphere uses labels" excuse. The idea that it's new even in the Anglosphere is such fucking bullshit too. Butch/femme was popularized before 'lesbian' was the standard word for female homosexual (read Boots of Leather, Slippers of Gold). While 'lesbian' was in use with the upper-middle class crowd, Sapphic and the like were used equally often, but both not really known with the working class. Kesser Vater comes from 1920's Berlin, Germany.
Polilez in a lot of different countries have worked really hard to stigmatize butches and bar them from feminist meetings, if they didn't give up butch and took up the 'androgynous' uniform. Then it was further stigmatized in the 90's. All that got us is the rise of ftm and your average enbie/trutrans not knowing of the concept butch or thinking it's backwards. So no, getting rid of the label doesn't cause lesbians to become more feminine and ~fuckable~ to the femininity worshippers. It just causes them to think that there's no place for them in lesbianism, because lesbianism has been portrayed as two feminine women holding hands now for 5 decades.
>top? bottom? how do you feel about those labels?Makes sense as a verb, silly as an identity, but I'm not going to sperg/chimp out at people for it.
>what's your type?I'm attracted to a wide variety of bodytypes, but I do have a preference for muscular (not necessarily skinny and defined) and other butches.
>how did you know you were gay?I kept ~experimenting~ with other girls throughout puberty, while ignoring scrotes. Also people around me kinda told me.
>what were you like as a kid? tomboy? girly girl who made her Barbies kiss?Tomboy, was never indoctrinated into it by the mean scary dykes, don't you worry. Actually my family is fascist, as in literal Hitler stans, always watching documentaries and speeches. I regularly had to hear how I would have been gassed "in the good old days" and that if Hitler was still around, I wouldn't have turned out like this. I got my ass beaten on the regular for being like this, I wasn't pressured into it.
>what do you wanna be like as an old lady lesbian? Badass, with a motorcycle, lots of cats, in my self built bungalow, lots of tattoos, growing my own food and still working out.
>get mushy and describe your dream relationship/date/etcI want my partner to also be my best friend. Travel the world together, go camping, work out together, have play fights and arm wrestle matches. Build shit together, tend to a permaculture garden or farm, catify everything and build our own catwalk and catio for the cats we'll adopt. Never have a dead bedroom. Dance silly together, paint with Bob Ross, bake bread, participate in a mud run together and be the best team ever. Make each other feel safe enough to talk about our feelings and to encourage honesty. Make sure to also have our own friends, so we don't just hangout with each other. Go to concerts together, play music instruments together, maybe start a band. I could keep going.
No. 213141
File: 1636773070800.jpg (25.31 KB, 304x454, 70d8033c23e12e0928892520a27ad0…)
>>202049>>202050I feel you nonnies.
I'm also 30 and have considered trooning out since my college days. Back then I had short back and sides hair and dressed like a punk. I was misgendered constantly and other times had "faggot" yelled from moving cars. I decided not to troon but I can't really remember my reasoning then because this was pre-peaking and becoming gender critical.
I got so sick of being intimidated by scrotes at the gym for being an obvious lesbian and GNC. Or in public or at my workplace, wherever. I grew my hair out and feminized my appearance a little solely just to get some peace and fucking quiet as I go about my life.
It sucks that that's what it takes. I want desperately to go back to being more butch in my presentation but I don't miss the harrassment. My hair is going white young, I have dark hair so it's noticeable. I don't want to dye it I don't think so when it's over 50% grey I will probably go back to short hair and butch styling.
I see a lot of unapologetic older butch lesbians and I've always admired them and felt like they truly are the happiest demographic. They just seem happy with themselves and their lives. That inspired me as a young closeted gay and I want to be that for the younger generation if they see me in public.
However one of my idols, lesbian musician Sara Bettens trooned out to become "Sam Bettens" a couple of years ago. Depressing as fuck nonnies.
No. 213147
File: 1636776660716.jpg (77.86 KB, 1406x998, male energy.JPG)
I made a lesbian friend IRL that seems just as radfem as I am, or at least gender crit enough. I'm fucking ecstatic.
No. 213271
Is it a choice to fall in love? Can you choose not to fall in love with someone?
I met a girl recently who I will be near frequently. I didn’t know this could happen so quickly, but when I first saw her it already felt so strange. It felt wrong to look her in the eyes after while, it just felt too intense to look at her. Even the sound of her breathing uprooted me a little, and I felt drunk and giddy the rest of the day. The way she stands like a tree that can’t be uprooted, her voice, the softness of her face were all in the back of my head.
It feels embarrassing, as I don’t usually like to express myself very strongly, and I am almost skeptical as the reaction to her was so quick, it’s almost whorish of me. I don’t want to like her because I feel I will embarrass myself, and I don’t want my whole body to tense up when she’s near me.
As we will be in the same place working on the same thing, this thing requiring much attention and skill, I don’t want to be a stupid giddy girl around her. I don’t want to want her this much, I need to focus on this project and not embarrass myself.
Is there a way to control myself? Can I stop having these thoughts and feelings if I try hard enough? I
No. 213303
>>200981>first crush?Eastern Euro straight girl I was friends with
>local lesbian scenebutches who have a harem of women they string along, normie lesbians I'm too friendly with to really have a crush on, and straight women trying to reinvent female sepratism
>favorite lesbian media, lesbian media you hateIt's so rare to be interested in lesbian media due to scrote visuals but portrait of a lady on fire is a personal favorite
>coming out storiesI came out to my mom but she didn't believe me, though my parents did catch me looking at naked women several times before
>cows I would u'haul withpossibly momokun, shoe, a lot of trad cows because they're pretty cute and I want to show them the light
>opinions on labelsbasic labels that were used in the 70's were okay, but the whole sapphic stuff these days are really annoying and I'm not going to keep up with them
>top bottom labelsanyone who would use that are minors so pass
>my typesoft butch women, all of my previous crushes were big nerds who were quite androgynous
>how did you know that you were gayit was a slow realization, i gradually found out and when i finally knew it was when i had sex with a woman
>lesbian stereotypes i fitbeing a total disaster, hating men
>what i was like as a kidi didn't mind being girly because i loved being "normal" and fitting in with other kids but i was already showing signs of being gay with my curiosity for searching up naked women on the family computer
>old lady lesbian inspohopefully happily married and having a safe space for other lesbians to talk to and meet up
>homophobic family and friendsMy family is fine as long as I don't tell them about my hookups and don't date any women. Ex-friends tried to convince me I could troon out or I was bisexual.
No. 213337
File: 1636973548561.png (75.38 KB, 577x624, fuck.png)
I don't actually want kids but I think this gave me baby fever.
No. 213338
File: 1636976875251.jpg (113.39 KB, 828x1124, cat.jpg)
My crush hugged me yesterday. I don't know if she's gay. I am on cloud nine.
No. 213340
>>213334We were both attracted to each other, said as much, but I was in a bind for private reasons and I also got insecure because she was an aloof
bihet. Got in my head and lost sight of myself a bit, the person I came across as was embarrassing because it was so unlike me. If I could go back in time I'd at least conduct myself better but it was a doomed relationship anyway, I knew I'd be broken-hearted by the end regardless.
>>213337Beautiful even to my decidedly child-free eyes.
No. 213349
>>213337Oh boy this hit me hard. I'm butch and my fiancée and I will begin trying for a baby next year (when we're married I will be recognised as a legal parent of the baby from birth).
"I want to mother your child made only of us, of, you: no borrowed seed from any man." YES, THIS! My partner will be carrying the baby as I can't due to health reasons and the fact I have nothing to give makes me feel so useless. Don't get me wrong, I'm not a narc; I'm not looking to further my genetic line here. I know from my relationship with my step sister that I don't have to share blood with someone to love them as family. But getting some random dude involved just feels wrong. Like it's a sin, to bring someone else into
our family, even if it's anonymously through a sperm bank. Straight people don't know how good they've got it.
No. 213391
>>212978>every gnc woman on tv always has this big reveal that she's straight (like Brienne of Tarth or the one butch character in "But I'm a Cheerleader").I fucking hate this trope so much kek. They just can't make a double whammy with a GNC lesbian or men will feel threatened, she needs to be feminine and a lesbian
or a masculine woman who's actually straight. Don't know what that anon is about though, exclusive femme4femme representation for lesbians is such a well-known thing that there are multiple articles about it. I remember the article that actually listed almost all lesbian couples in media from the recent two decades and only a handful out of all of them involved a butch/GNC. If anyone finds the one I'm talking about that would be great.
No. 213415
>>213396I changed my legal name to my nickname what was not a "real" name at least in my country until I got it. It's pretty sexless and I must say that only after I had changed it and it got approved I realized that it's kinda gender-y when thinking about enby names in my country.
I'm also pretty butch/GNC but at least anyone hasn't said anything about it, at least not to my face.
I'm pretty openly GC tho and don't shy away from stating that I am in fact a femaleGetting a female placeholder name sounds pretty silly if you ask me.
No. 213441
>>213406Oh do fuck off. You have no idea how good you got it.
>but men badDo people yell slurs at you in the street for holding hands? Does your family feel shame and cast you out because you dared to love someone of the same sex? Do your female friends think you're predatory and that you're gonna hit on them?
Lesbianism isn't all hand-holding and talking about our feelings. If I could, I would choose to be straight. You won the sexuality lottery, be happy about it!
No. 213449
File: 1637075834304.jpeg (79.25 KB, 861x800, 1592743606731.jpeg)
>>213406Thanks lovely anon!
No. 213477
>>213453I'm one of the "doomers" and I
am grown up. That's the problem. If I saw this as a young woman I'd react very differently but I'm 30 fucking years old and I've seen enough and experienced enough to not tolerate polilez adjacent bullshit. Wishing to be a lesbian is creepy and infantilising.
>>213465 hit the nail on the head perfectly. I also wish I was white due to the trauma of racism. It's very common for minorities to wish for the ability to be part of the majority, not because we hate ourselves and don't appreciate the good things that come from our communities but because it can be really fucking hard and drag us down. This goes double if you're butch/GNC as that paints an even bigger target on your back. Saying it's "pathetic" and calling us "doomers" is ridiculous, just say you're privileged and/or inexperienced and go.
No. 213535
File: 1637124267646.jpg (Spoiler Image,53.89 KB, 306x227, uytdfghj.jpg)
>>213531>Oof , you're 30 and still on lolcow? Yikes.. I also think the doomer stuff is retarded but fuck off women aren't required to log off and have babies once they hit 25.
No. 213538
File: 1637127056655.jpeg (102.99 KB, 923x1117, 3390F35C-7DFE-44C9-B938-A5DCE5…)
>>213505Congrats and best of luck anon! Praying you don’t get banned before meeting a good match. I recently reached out to a match from a dating app I unfortunately ghosted years ago during some personal craziness, and to my pleasant surprise she responded and when we hung out she & I hit it off phenomenally. Sometimes dating apps aren’t all bad! I can’t wait to see her again
No. 213575
>>213531lmao anon. go back to playing minecraft if you think 30 is too old.
>>213538bless u
nonnie. i’m an awkward mess around other women so i need that luck.
No. 213606
>>213479NTA, but you're incredibly immature. Grow up. Learn that not everyone processes traumatic experiences the same way you do and stop silencing other lesbians with your shitty internet term only terminally online people use.
>>213536Why are you still here if you're not a lesbian? Imagine an adult young white woman going up to a group of black women and being like "omg I wish I was black too!! :)" I hate using other black women for this kinds of examples, but please have enough self-awareness to understand that this is what you sound like. Coming back to also make this comment is just plain disrespectful.
No. 213608
>>213400>>213415You're both right, thank you for responding! I get too in my head about how other people perceive me and that's ridiculous, it's my party and I get to pick the name!
>>213479I don't have a horse in this race but I can't fucking stand the word spew in this context. My geiger counter starts going off when I hear it, it's the fastest way to tell me you spent your formative years on twitter and tumblr.
>>213606 you nailed it, terminally online lmao.
No. 214567
>>214565As Morticia Addams put it, beautifully and simply:
“Normal is an illusion. What is normal for the spider is chaos for the fly.”
No. 214602
File: 1637803902023.jpg (27.76 KB, 372x373, 0a98a0d5d3fb2f6397d1e688296a1d…)
>>214567how very quirky! how very pinterest! how completely unhelpful when someone is asking for advice dealing with familial homophobia!
No. 214608
>>214565I haven't come out of the closet aside from some close friends. I'm waiting until i'm fully financially independent before i come out to my family. I'm super close with my family too, especially with my mom, she's like my friend. But she's also incredibly homophobic and I don't think that will ever change.
Don't feel the need to come out when you're not ready anon. I also feel guilty about being lesbian but moving away from my family helps me feel more comfortable with myself.
No. 214618
>>214565Yes, I'm out. Lost some very close (very religious) friends and my parents basically stopped speaking to me for several months. I moved across the country and was homeless for a brief period, they never had a clue. My mother was/is
abusive and my father never did shit about it, I don't want them at my damn wedding but I can't stop grieving the parents they should have been. I wish I had a real mom and a dad that loves me. I'll probably never stop being sad about the friends I lost. But the important thing is that I can grow as the person I'm meant to be and live at my fullest, making new connections with people who already know me as myself, no hiding. That's more valuable to me than hanging onto old, conditional connections out of fear. It will be very hard at first but ultimately it will get better, and your life will be better for it. Don't light yourself on fire to keep them warm, they won't thank you for it.
No. 214784
File: 1637902776505.jpg (65.55 KB, 640x777, bunny.jpg)
I met such an amazing woman but I'm so in my head all the time. I need to learn how to appreciate every second I have with her. Still, full of hope rn nonnas. Gonna make her feel like a goddess.
No. 215143
File: 1638123750933.jpg (949.93 KB, 800x1050, セミ2.jpg)
>>215051oh god, me too anon…
No. 215158
>>215152I literally can't with lesbian dating apps
Literally 50% trans, 20% women in relationships, 20% women in relationships looking for a threesome
That being said #I don't care if I'm dating a married women in an open relationship or cheating on her husband## why can't the threesome people list in their bio what they're looking for instead of wasting time conversing with me?
No. 215223
Guys im just checking
Is gay when you can only get off if you think of women or touching women? And when you feel a romantic connection to women?
Just because I thought other women found women hot, and men were boring to look at too, and intercourse with men was more of a chore.
When I see women with the right body or voice, it feels like I need to pee and I can’t think like a civilised person. I don’t get this from men, but I thought other women were the same for a while. I told my friend and she said I should give men a try, and I am considering- it’s just that touching them the way I want to touch women is either boring, or a little gross to me. But maybe I have to ‘discover’ men as part of growing up? Because I’m 18 and do feel as though I should do these things for my family. But the idea of living my life with a man sounds so empty, especially compared to with a woman.
I felt a sense of shame about liking women because I used to draw them without clothes on and mom found out, and was horrified. But I just wanted to see breasts because they activate my neurones. Also I got called gay a lot and girls never yelled at me for it like guys, I just began to feel a distance forming between my friends and I, as if the rumours of my homosexuality made me a predator although I would never even look at them too long, let alone violate them. I have felt this way for a long time, but I heard age will change me. But right now, the thought of being with a man is comparable to chewing ice- uncomfortable and not nice. But I feel like a guy would fix me.
All girls go through phases I think. Although I don’t know why, a few girls have liked me before, but only one of them is special, it’s like I love the way she speaks and her genuine manner and gentle face and body and it feels like finding the yin to my yang, except another part of me says ‘woah, that’s unnatural’, and drives me away.
Sorry for bringing retardation to the thread. I’m not at ease, as I know some of my family is against this and I want to be a mother one day, and I feel isolated in being this way as I’m starting to realise that I’m maybe different. I have felt funny about women alone for a very long time, but sometimes I think ‘woah that’s gay’ or ‘don’t worry everyone’s a little bi’ except men do nothing for me. And so many girls say they’re bi and go on about loving women but end up dating men, so I think- yes, women can be straight or bi and feel nothing for men and everything for women. It’s normal, right?
No. 215257
>>215234The lesbian thread isn't the place to make the post you made in the first place so you should go to the questioning or bi thread but before you go: do not fall for the celibacy before marriage meme. Don't do it, it's a great way to end up in an
abusive or sexless marriage.
No. 215315
File: 1638215555134.png (173.24 KB, 1080x2111, Screenshot_20211129-144633~2.p…)
is this kikomi or just a spicy troon?
No. 215349
>>215301As someone who considered myself bi for a long time and spent a long period of time questioning and flopping between bi and lesbian, I think the ultimate kicker was getting a boyfriend who was, on paper, everything I should have liked in a boy, but kissing and touching him made me feel physically queezy and disgusted with myself. I still got anxious when kissing past girlfriends at times, but it never came with the feelings of regret, shame, and nausea. You're still young so spend some time without worrying about labels, casually date some girls and see if you feel happy or comfortable with them. A lot of bi women end up with men simply because it's just easier, being a lesbian is a lot more difficult to navigate, but if you don't like men there is zero benefit to being with one. When I imagine my future, I can never imagine spending it with a man.
No. 215703
>>215297Hold up anon, she sounds more like an inexperienced young lesbian than a bisexual.
Anyway as for original anon
>>215223 I want to share my story. I used to be like this growing up in a conservative environment, I thought I was going to grow up, find a husband and start a family just like everyone else. I thought me being attracted to women and repulsed by men was just a phase everyone goes through and tried my best to manipulate myself into finding a man. Years went by and every time I had a crush, it was on a woman. Every time a man showed interest in me I felt nothing but visceral disgust and kept making excuses for why he wasn't "the one".
It wasn't until my late 20's when I had a life-altering experience and realized that I'm not going to "grow out of this" and that it's not a phase. It was a very, very painful thing to realize that I spent my best years going after men in vain, trying to convert myself into a prim and proper straight woman who could look back on her cute girl crushes and laugh about them. Being bullied growing up for the predatory homosexual meme certainly did irreversible damage to my sexual health to the point I'm probably going to be alone until the end of my days. So my advice to you would be to allow yourself the option to be attracted to women and reprogram the internalized lesbophobia out of your system. Don't force yourself to be straight or bi if it doesn't feel right.
No. 215818
>>215817Nta and not a lesbian, but they didn't mock your rape. You said horrible things about
all bisexual and lesbian women while saying that men were innocent and can't sexualize women, and that was why some anons had an issue with your post. Besides, if you hate les/bi women then stop lurking their threads.
No. 215820
>>215818I don’t hate lesbians, I vented about it because I can vent and hate everything in existence without doing actual harm. But the replies only proved my point more btw. And they literally did, by calling me a schizo in a pool of schizo ramblings, when all I did was getting disappointed by my own gender.
>while saying that men were innocent and can't sexualize womenAnd why did you take my stuff out of context? Look, it doesn’t matter, but every time someone on here mocks me, I will keep venting about my lesbian rapist. Carry on with your lesbian thread, though.
No. 215840
>>215824You have a point but
>Especially when you're being so petty about it saying "every time someone on here mocks me, I will keep venting about my lesbian rapist".I bombarded my (male) rapist’s phone with death threats until he changed numbers and my lesbian rapist blocked me because she was afraid of me. Or maybe they felt sorry for me. I have no agenda I just need help.
No. 215844
>>215827I honestly didn’t expect it. I wish you were in my shoes to see how even when I talk like a normal human being people are mostly shit to me about my rape. Even when I was a kid and got raped by a 40 year old man, I was called whore and slut by social worker, police etc…
How can you not expect me to be a sperg?
Well my rage is over anyways I cooled down. Mostly because my lesbian rapist came out on her fb just now as a troon transman lmfao. Anyways i will shut up now i just want to sleep and stop rambling.
No. 215850
For the anons who don't know this "lesbian rapist"-chan, the summary: she wrote barely coherent posts in the vent thread in /ot/ about how she used to defend lesbians but was apparently molested by another woman and as a result she now hates all bisexual and lesbian women and only likes gay men for "protecting" her. And according to her this "lesbian rapist" has molested little boys and has sex with men but she's still apparently a lesbian. Plus strange derailments about how men smell like shit and her rapist's vagina smelled like fish.
>>>/ot/978844>>>/ot/979268>>>/ot/978862>>>/ot/978856And now she returned to /ot/ to write about rapists being stinky. Mods please ban this weirdo.
No. 215856
>>215852I’d still get backlash, in fact I got in such a low point in that vent thread precisely because I was getting
victim blamed. Anyways no point discussing this anymore everything sucks and I know better now to no longer use the vent thread.
No. 215889
>>215703Thanks anon, I really spent a long time hating myself and doing mental gymnastics to see myself as normal. I simultaneously swoon over lesbo romance novels and dream about having a gf, whilst seeing myself as straight, because for a long time I convinced myself that lesbians don’t exist, or lesbian is what you are when you want to be a man.
I hope you don’t end up alone. If you’re just finding yourself out, that means a lot is left to look forwards to. And in the void of a relationship and closeted loneliness, great friendships, new things to do and personal projects can help.
No. 215956
>>215919I agree with
>>215935. Initially I was gonna say that lesbians are rare but I personally have met plenty of other lesbians yet I never, ever seem to click with them, and so I used to think the exact same thing you did. I wouldn't instantly say that it's the male pandering aesthetic that is more ""attractive"" about bi women, but at least in my experience, it's easier for me to get along with them since we're more likely to be into the same shit and share the same interests. Sorry for the blog
No. 215983
>>215905>>215931I wish we had an LC lesbian server or even a les/bi server. Someone be brave and make one please
>>215935What do you mean by male pandering aesthetics, like being more feminine in terms of style and mannerisms?
No. 216266
>>216263sounds like troonspeak and i hate it cause i actually do want a dominant gf cause i’m naturally submissive.
i like butch women though. sporty women are hot.
sage cause kink and butch sperging
No. 216296
>>215852I'm surprised any of this kind of self awareness is itt because all I've seen for several threads is butches whining that they're
victims because someone doesn't think that spotting each other at the gym is an ideal date. I didn't know that we were so far gone that being a femme now either means you're a troon or too basic for somebody to be with. I'm a femme and I do like butches, but guess who hates that I'm femme? The butches I've interacted with.
>>216217>butchphobiaOh, the fucking irony.
No. 216306
Does anyone here abstain? Like no action with someone or alone?
I feel ashamed when I want to touch women, I feel dirty when I even get a little too close to another girl, and touching myself makes me feel like I’ve disrespected women by fantasising about them and I’m impure. I think it’s either a problem or my spirit telling me it’s wrong, like instinct - but maybe there’s a middle ground of not being addicted to any pleasure and enjoying closeness with women but waiting for commitment to do anything touchy instead. I can’t believe I’m gay sometimes, it feels like hiding a dirty secret whilst pretending to be a nice normal girl. And if I like women, why do I look normal? I thought I was supposed to look manly and it would be more obvious. I feel like a sussy imposter,
I’m so tense about my gross secret I try not to think about it- because when I do, I see my mother disgusted with me, girls condescending me or treating me like a predator, I see men hating me, hellfire and judgement, loneliness, and sharing close and intimate moments with girls just to feel like crawling out of my skin moments later in self disgust and never talking to her again except in my dreams. Is this how you guys started out?
>>216296Yeah, I think people can be condescending to feminine women- misogyny is a cultural phenomena. And femmes can be hated too, in a similar way. And many lesbians can be misogynists after being mistreated by women and feeling the bitterness of being an outsider. I think they may see you and think ‘normie/faker’, and find it hard to believe you are with them. I think some lesbians are misogynists used to rejection and shunning but still, it needs to change. And if you’re feminine and like stuff like comfy dresses or expressive fashion, don’t let other lesbians make you feel dumb for it. I usually get myself a little girly if I’m seeing family just to blend in.
Masculine women on the other hand may feel pressured to change, feel seen as more predatory, and feel lonely in their difference.
I don’t think it’s a victimisation competition, we all have stuff to deal with.
No. 216308
>>216306>I don’t think it’s a victimisation competition, we all have stuff to deal with.NTA but I fully agree about this. I'm sick of hearing about how butches have it the easiest because they're not "treated as weaklings" or accused of being trannies on imageboards as it shows a clear lack of perspective and understanding how shitty it actually is to be a masculine women men don't respect. Being a non-gender conforming lesbian isn't at all the same as the desirable result of being a pantsuit wearing girlboss who doesn't mind being called a bitch and a whore because she's "not a drama queen bimbo like other girls". It's about having a long-lasting trauma of being treated as the disgusting rapist preying on women since middle school, it's about feeling pressure to transition to be "normal", it's about feeling lonely growing up with absolutely no role models or anything telling you you're fine as you are. As I was considered "not a woman" in my adolescence I got beat up all the time by boys and abused simply for being unfuckable to them.
And the same goes for femme lesbians like my girlfriend. They don't radiate the "ugly mannish lesbian" energy so they can go stealth and they're treated with more courtesy and pleasantries because they're not considered disgusting by men. But then again they're fetishized to hell, men try to make moves on them because they consider them the ultimate virginal prize who can perform for their sexual pleasure, troons obsess over them and coerce them to have sex with them, people doubt their sexuality because they don't look like the bulldyke stereotype and expect it to be simply a phase before the cave in and birth children to the one man who conquers them. All lesbians have it bad, trying to make it into a competition on who's fucked over by society the worst is pointless because there are no winners.
No. 216317
>>216306>I feel ashamed when I want to touch women, I feel dirty when I even get a little too close to another girl, and touching myself makes me feel like I’ve disrespected women by fantasising about them and I’m impure.coming from an ex fundie who was made to feel ashamed about sexuality that sounds like personal baggage. youre assuming that your feelings on touch and closeness coincide with your partner. you can bring politics and gender issues into it all you want but at the end of it, if youre not comfortable with a level of intimacy that involves another person then why push it? you cant even be intimate with yourself without a blanket of guilt. spent some quality time alone with your needs and wants anon before you attempt to include another.
its really cute to say you dont care what your partner looks like or their success level or personality or sexuality but really at the end of it, if none of that jibes with you then yes it does matter.
No. 216320
>>216298Except that its not a competition, but way to flash that
victim complex even more.
>>216306>>216308>All lesbians have it bad, trying to make it into a competition on who's fucked over by society the worst is pointless because there are no winners.And it'd be nice to actually see more of that itt because as it stands, for three whole threads, I have seen less unity and more anons like
>>216298 No. 216408
>>216368I don't. Bi women mostly in the past, a few bi men, a few lesbians and maybe one straight guy
I'm a bi lurker though. I actually think I know the least about gay men of any part of the LGBT including the T kek
No. 216432
>>216368Some that I keep at arm's length, not true friends. 95% of my friends are lesbians; just got tired of being around people to whom I'll have to explain myself or whose male partners I'll be forced to get to know. The gay men I've allowed to be in my circle have the sense not to be disrespectful to women at least in front of me, though who knows what they say behind closed doors. Can't obsess too much, tbh. I don't get invested in them cause scrote gonna scrote.
I do slightly prefer gay men over the bi women I know simply because at least they understand being exclusively same sex attracted and don't yap about drag race to prove "queer" cred like bisexual women tend to do lol. I'll still always prefer the company of lesbians over anybody else though, even libfem ones.
Confession time: I'm starting to be actively grossed out by makeup and it's going to limit my dating options severely. I don't know, it's just been increasingly unattractive to me in the past few months. I don't mind some mascara or a little blush/tinted chapstick but skin makeup, eyeshadow, false lashes, penciled in brows, matte lipstick etc look horrible to me. I think even high femmes look far better with little to no makeup, it looks so much more womanly to me to be bare faced. No. 216454
>>216432Agree. Some makeup is ok but at a certain level it feels like I’m not looking at a face but at a template or something drawn on. Plus, it just seems kind of gross to fill your pores with gunk every day. I want to look at a real person, not an Instagram template face. Likewise, fake tan generally looks weird on European girls, but to some it’s basically mandatory for glamour. I like dark skin naturally, but if someone’s naturally pale they probably look better pale, just embrace your vampirism.
But then I think it’s us who appreciate natural beauty more, a man would probably want an Instagram looking girl whereas we would appreciate natural a lot more. And I’m glad we have this website so I can sperg about makeup without being called out for ‘bringing women down’ who completely ‘do it for themselves’ which means only when they’re going to be seen.
No. 216459
>>216368Not exactly friends, but we chat about working out and complain about TRA stuff together. They also help me out with stuff like fashion or cologne, because my butch ass is clueless (and women try to force feminize me, so cannot ask them for advice, I wish I knew other butches).
>>216432>>216454I have a thing for alternative women, so I like eyeliner, but that's about it. The instabaddie, or however it's called, trend freaks me out. Looks like Bratz irl. I also worry they'll try to put make up on me. I'd probably be accused of
toxic masculinity everywhere else for not liking that shit.
No. 216557
>>216512kek I still think about when I dressed myself up all feminine, did my makeup and all that, and made a straight girl pause and process at how much prettier I was (since I usually dress like shit). That was two years ago and I still haven't come down from it.
>>216544Stay strong nonna
No. 216835
Going to the thread questions I haven’t answered, things I live in a girl are
> genuine manner> being white (not racebaiting i just feel more connected to them as i am also white)> soft body, kind of thick thighs > healthy > deep voice> a little assertive lol> minimal or no makeup> being chill and funny>>216602Are they dating FTMs or MTFs? The phrasing makes me think there are many trans in your city. Can I ask what country you are in? Because the only trans I have seen in mine is just a middle aged man who wears a school uniform for girls and speaks in a squeaky voice.
No. 216845
>>216843Fuck it, here's a throwaway discord if you want to add me and talk about anime or being a lesbian or whatever
nona8888#7982I'm also partially a yumejo so that's completely fine lmao.
I'm 22, and while that's pretty close in age, sometimes things get weird around the drinking age barrier so no pressure or anything, even just making a new friend who is also a lesbian with similar interests would make me happy.
Other nonas are free to add me as well but I'm boring and only like talking about nerd or otaku shit.
No. 217030
>>216368I randomly met one in college and we're best friends now. He made me meet other of his friends, whom some are gays, so yes I have gay friends.
This is such a weird question though. Who cares about sexual orientation when it comes to friendships ?
No. 217047
>>216840>Me feeling blessed with my long-term fujo gf and us being fujo gfs together with tastes aligning almost perfectlyNah but seriously anon I feel for you, all of the weeby lesbians that I know have trooned out or only like scrote-aligned weebshit because teehee sapphic
anime mommy milkers.
>>217032How nice for you that you don't have to deal with crazy trannies on a daily basis but keep in mind that not all of us are as lucky.
No. 217176
>>217171How come ? Isn't that frowned upon in your country?
On dating apps here I would say the real problem are couples and "cis" men who put their profile "woman" to appear higher in the swipes of bisexual women (they're so ugly that when they put their profile "man" they are last in the list and never appear in the swipes of bi and straight women).
Concerning LGBT meetup I guess there would troons here too but I distance myself from LGBT stuffs.
No. 217285
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I have a girlfriend!!! After talking for months on Instagram we finally met in person. We met at her work and held hands and when I left she kissed my cheek after I kissed her forehead. I’d move in if it weren’t for her dick landlord.
No. 217325
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>>217293>could you be any more of a stereotypeplease don't look into my closet or my music tastes, I'll only disappoint you further…
No. 217357
>>217285This is incredibly stereotypical in the best way haha
> i touched her hand and felt the coup de foudre shake my very being, i am now on my way to purchase three cats for our apartment where we will intimately hold hands on a biweekly basis!I hope you two are happy together and get to be together too soon (literally don’t know why you can’t move in)
I so want to be able to have a gf to play video games with until late, who I can cook for and talk to late at night and stuff. Or read together whilst holding hands, to pray together, go to church together, and explore new cities and forests together.
I used to pretend to be the wife of my ‘good friend’ but ‘only as a joke’ and I miss gaming with her so she would fight all the monsters for her wife and we would pick houses on the way back from school to live in if we were married, and we kissed on a school trip. I didn’t even know being with another girl was an option when I was 14 (and very dumb). I just thought everyone liked women and it was a fact, never questioned it. I wish I knew how to get a gf now.
>>217202I don’t mean this with hate towards anyone, but I do feel that the concept of lgbt has been changed to something for straight people. Straight men who think being a woman is just ‘hot’ or straight girls who thought thinking a girl is pretty or wanting a best friend makes you ‘queer’. And I see girls usually my age (zoomer) posing for photos to kiss, and it makes me think that lesbian is just something you do to look hot, that it’s a frivolous and silly thing whereas men are the real deal. And the Pinterest/tiktok ‘wlw’ couples that look like they have zero chemistry but posed for a #wlw or #alt photo and then would get cold and awkward off camera, and go back to men when they stop being angry at their bf, and get pissed when a girl ‘objectifies’ another because that’s ‘something a guy would do’. I think I’m stereotyping a little, and they’re not all like this, but I’m not all #wlw #wholesome I love women’s soft thighs, I like it when girls wear satin dresses (that’s just really hot for some reason) and I love women who are upfront and assertive.
No. 217538
File: 1639553795420.jpeg (236.58 KB, 1024x683, bebby.jpeg)
The woman I've been smitten with is into me too. I feel high off this revelation. I'm in a messy situation right now but once I'm out of the woods things will actually be alright for once?? Wow. Now if I could actually speak to her like some kind of charming sex god instead of the blathering idiot I seem to have become tonight, that'd be very good indeed.
No. 217660
>>217635i saw one of the pro-
TERF gay men share a reddit post from a fakeboi with phalloplasty going to a gay bathhouse with her (bisexual) boyfriend and how awesome it was, i can't even imagine the sheer audacity of going to a place where all the men like dick in some way and thinking the sausage sewn to your crotch will be good enough??
No. 217671
>>217666wow i am the original anon and i wish i could be like you. i think my new years resolution should be to be less ashamed of myself. i don’t even know why i feel this way because i wasn’t raised religious.
i guess maybe shame is too strong of a word but i think the thing that bothers me the most is not outright homophobia but the fact that i feel subtly separated from mainstream straight society. i guess i need to make more gay friends because there’s no way for me to be straight and if i was ever to force myself into a relationship with a guy it would not fix these problems
No. 217862
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>>217834Her eyes are kinda crazy in some pics
No. 217930
>>217567I go through something similar. I always knew I like women but it took me years to learn to cope with the fact that it makes me a lesbian. After quitting all the mental gymnastics about how I too can totally be straight like everyone else if I just "work on myself", I've finally accepted who I am. It feels good but I also feel overwhelming grief and shame because I don't belong in society, everything is built up around being het. I also live in a small country with few places to meet other lesbians and they, like everywhere, are infested with TRAs. I was raised with a religious mom so it might add to it but I have a lot of internalized homophobia and shame. I'm trying to be the change I want to see and find a way to feel hope for myself, because I do have hope for lesbians. It's just so easy to fall back into patterns of self loathing and shame.
I am rooting for you nona!
No. 218191
>>217930NTA but this is exactly what I went through. Tried to fix myself, tried to date men, always was repulsed when they showed interest in me and the thought of having sex with them makes my stomach turn. But with women it all feels more natural and my feelings are much more intense, which I interpret as actual attraction. I thought I was just traumatized and needed to be "fixed by the right man" and that's the thought that still creeps up to me all the time.
>What if I'm not a lesbian, just a straight girl afraid of men and I'm here bullshitting in a space where I don't belong? >I mean I've only had girlfriends, I'm only turned on by women, only fantasize about sex with women, I only want to kiss girls, I want to live the rest of my days with a woman, but what if it's just me coping with a sexual trauma? >le society told me that lesbians just need to be cured by dick!!! maybe if I gave some nice guy a chance I'd suddenly get over my cringy lesbian phase and become a proper hetero tradwife and finally fit in society's expectations and start living life on easy mode duhhhhIt's frustrating, everyone is actively against lesbians, lesbians are the smallest group under the LGBT umbrella and maneuvering as one is made ridiculously difficult. As women we know how it feels like to be objectified and harassed so it makes it hard to approach other women as we fear coming off as rapey and creepy. I honestly feel like a lot of women who are bi are actually lesbian and attracted to men only out of convenience or because they've been memed into the belief that lesbians don't exist, only dick-starved ugly women do.
No. 218245
File: 1639868286509.jpeg (416.73 KB, 1920x1080, BR.jpeg)
sorry if this has already been asked before, but does anyone know of any JRPGs/3D games that have lesbian protags or feature lesbian relationships?
i'm gonna be starting blue reflection soon and i know it's just yuri bait but i feel like that's the best i'm gonna get atm ;;
No. 218295
>>218191Oh dear that’s quite relatable. Only want women, only want romance with women, had a bedroom full of photos of Emma Watson at 12, and yet I would still meme myself like
> i probably have trauma> i will grow out of it> all women think women are hot and men are ugly> le right guy > women aren’t really into men But I think it’s easy to think like that when you’re one of the only lesbians you know. Also I wanted to make my mother proud of me because I stopped looking like a bridge troll at 17 and so she thinks I would miss out if I didn’t date men, and I wanted her approval, so she arranged for me to meet with her Catholic mom friend’s sons etc. And that’s the most awkward thing you can imagine.
Tbh with bi women I agree that there are a lot of coping lesbians, but also a lot of straight girls who like TikTok too much haha. And then maybe a small pool of real bi women. Sometimes it feels like straight girls want to fix lesbians, that we can just discover men and we’re just afraid of them. And guys don’t take us seriously, but think they can fix us too. Thanks to girls who playfully call themselves ‘gay’ or treat it like something to try on, to roleplay as, to look desirable. I think I understand gatekeeping now.
Don’t feel bad about talking to cute girls. If you want to be with her just be at least friends first, and find out what you care about, how your personalities go together, like I want a girl who likes the outdoors and will come to church with me, maybe you care about a gf who is ambitious or honest. I just pretend I want to know something or don’t know the time, and you can make small talk from there. Say her name sometimes, match her energy, and don’t take yourself too seriously, this has worked for me as an absolute sped and it should probably work for you because I can sense that you are cute yourself. One day we will find our lady and won’t have to doubt ourselves or feel isolated anymore.
No. 218330
File: 1639946938771.png (1.87 MB, 1080x2400, imagen_2021-12-19_144700.png)
(posting the screencap directly from the thread)
Jillian Vessey is so fucking ugly and bitter and I fucking hate her for calling her ex gf predatory. Uma is so freaking cute and attractive. It makes me so angry. Just look at her, ugh why does she have to be slandered this way?
Does anyone else feel angered by this?
No. 218388
>>218372Astrology is just a lady thing, not a gay lady thing, really.
Trends come and go, esp those of the "spiritual" kind. Give it a few years and people would rediscover something else like they're doing with manifestation right now.
No. 218657
>>218653she shouldn’t get upset like that. it’s your right to consent and revoke consent at any time and if you didn’t like what she was doing then it’s totally reasonable to tell her to stop.
a bit off topic but my experience with breast stuff is with my girlfriend. i think her nipples are really sensitive so if i suck them i have to be quite gentle but she enjoys it when i do that. my nipples are not sensitive at all and sucking them does nothing but it turns my girlfriend on to do it so i let her do it because it’s not uncomfortable to me. i do think she does it a lot more gently than this woman did however. the only way i can feel something is if she bites my nipples which sometimes i’m in the mood for but mostly i’m not.
No. 218664
>>218653I feel like she's throwing around the word "safe" in order to throw you off and make herself look like the
victim in a bad sexual experience with a big bad lesbian, and I don't like that one bit.
From what it sounds like, she wasn't concerned with your "safety" either.
Regardless of what someone feels like when it comes to being suckled, for some people it's a turn on "eg. Calling someone Mommy" or a complete turn off.
I don't know how intensely you reacted, so I don't know whether you're partially to blame or not, but she's definitely in the wrong for refusing to stop an act her sexual partner was clearly uncomfortable with, and an asshole for refusing to even apologize/acknowledge that afterwards.
No. 218716
>>218653I'm so sorry this happened to you nona but your description of how she did it made me laugh so hard. It really does sound like she got the idea from porn.
You were completely in the right to tell her you were uncomfortable, she's probably just embarrassed and defensive because she performed in a way that you were uncomfortable with.
No. 218757
>>218655>>218657>>218658>>218660>>218664>>218716Thanks for your replies, I feel less crazy.
I think it's possible she got the idea from porn but I don't know why she'd think it's an appropriate thing to do to me when she knows I'm grossed out both by irl pregnancy/child stuff as well as any kink shit like that…
We haven't spoken since yesterday except a few short messages and I probably won't be spending Christmas with her now. She still claims I put her into an unsafe situation. My reaction was freezing and then jerking away, asking her to stop since she kept going in spite of me not responding. As someone who is hyper attentive to my partner I feel this could be a red flag but I could also be overreacting, I've taken this pretty badly.
I like soft, gentle touch and kisses on my breasts but no sucking or grabbing. I understand that others like different things and that's fine. Thanks for everyone's perspectives and replies! If I hurt her feelings by asking her to stop, that's an issue. Not sure how to proceed with this situation but since she doesn't want to talk to me I think I should maybe walk away. At least give her space. Thanks again nonas, ily
No. 218760
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I got to have a sleepover w my gf this past weekend and I'm still buzzin
No. 218793
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I feel ashamed to say this, but I really like dating self-identified/non-transitioned FTMs. Nonbinary she/theys and he/theys are on thin ice but I've dated plenty of those too. Hypothetically I'd really like to have a normal girlfriend who I can click with but for some reason I just have yet to be thoroughly interested in one. Right now I'm messing around with an FTM and even though I have "cis" options I just don't feel as attracted; I feel like there's something about FTMs calling themselves my boyfriend and larping as a man despite being 100% undeniably female that I really like, but I can't pinpoint it. Butch women also don't really do it for me as much as low-effort FTMs, idk.
No. 218868
Hey ladies of /lesgen/, I have a question that I hope more experienced lesbians could help with.
What are the signs that a girl is a lesbian? Is there a posture, a style of clothing, a hobby? I am a b4b (british4british) lesbian looking for a boyfriendless girl but it seems my radar is super off. And more on that, how did everyone know I was a homo whilst I was trying to blend in with my long hair and autistic Wikihow ‘how to appear feminine’ articles bookmarked? Is there also a way to stealth better? Most of all, where is the place to meet lesbos without drinking or dating apps?
Thanks luvs. I know I sound troony sometimes but I just feel uncomfortable typing ‘lesbian’, I am by all definitions, that thing, but it feels like a heavy, scary, dirty word that I used to get called a lot. So sometimes I feel as if I’m larping. Hope you a great evening
No. 218906
>>218868I'm autistic and I didn't realize how much I was ogling girls until after I picked up a few masking skills and realized what I was doing.
Also my femme stealth didn't help at all since it was very clear to me and anyone around me that I couldn't stand all the "extra fluff" or "restrictions" feminine styles had at the time. Also bought expensive makeup pallettes to wear badly like twice and then jammed them in a drawer to die.
The only reliable way you can tell a girl is a lesbian is to meet people in queer spaces online and irl.
No. 218944
>>218906Ah, it seems we both had that autistic lack of self awareness. And yeah I think that retardation we share may contribute to why makeup feels gross, bras feel restrictive and many clothes feel annoying.
I think ‘queer spaces’ may be a city thing, I know the male and Muslim population of my town would shit bricks if they saw a place like that. And I don’t want to go to ‘clubs/socities’ filled with crossdressing men or edgy bisexual women, men, neither a place with promiscuous people. I was hoping there was a hobby like a sport or an art. If there was an outer sign of the big gay. Were kweer clubs how you met your gf?
It’s great to meet a fellow gay retard online, all things said. I like how we could be the weird ones irl and then be completely understood online.
>>218875It may help to try to realise the version of her you have in your head is different than the one in reality. And it can feel good to be in love, but so can feeling a connection from friends and family, focusing on creative stuff. Write it out in a diary, cry over it, tell someone, and after a few days of this you could say the ‘crushness’ is more out of your system and you don’t like her, the old you did. Remember that there are other women, maybe one who wishes she could meet you, and life may lead you into her arms one day.
No. 218952
>>218944Alright, I see that there are a few things we need to put in order. Don't call me a retard unless I actually do or say retarded shit. We're not that close just because we happen to share a condition and I can relate to your struggle. Also, that Muslim population tangent was weird to mention right before you explained that gay clubs are apparently available around where you live regardless of how Muslims feel about the matter.
Anyhow, no, there isn't really a secret lesbian handshake or bracelet that you need to learn about. Download a low commitment app like Lex or look for pride/lesbian groups in your area via your city subreddit or Facebook gay group. Drop the 4chan vernacular while you try reaching out to people. Try to make friends with a few women and you should be set within your local community. I met my ex through a common friend, another during a pride event.
Please realize that there's no barrier that you can put up that would separate you from the other, sexual, icky lesbians. I might have misread you, but from the way you talk about it it seems as if you're not at all comfortable with your identity yet. I understand not wanting to befriend your typical flamboyant gays, but you're a woman looking to have a sexual relationship with a woman. "Promiscuity" is part of the deal.
No. 218971
>>218952‘Gay clubs’ aren’t a visible thing here, and the Muslim population isn’t that big but significant enough for it to be unsafe, same with ‘lads’ I guess. If you talk to some people you can network with gays and join a social circle, but one of the girls from there was condescending to me and forwards in an inappropriate way. If you find my words offensive, they’re offensive to you, I am honest and don’t hide much.
As a literal autist I find it hard to gauge what is socially appropriate and inappropriate to say, so I will note that some do not like being called a retard, apologies. Plus where my family is from people are often forwards, nosy and affectionate, my dad always says to have a thick skin and never hold back. Having been called a lesbo, weirdo, retard for a while, I find it refreshing to call myself these things with pride, I now feel happy referring to myself as a tard, tard master, licensed tard, as it makes me feel as though the names I have been called no longer have power over me, but instead they serve my own amusement. Also, I’m not a 4chan user, I use this image board which may seem similar in lingo, but I definitely don’t speak the way I do on the internet irl haha
You are kind of right in that I’m uncomfortable in my identity. I previously never thought I was different before I that other girls didn’t feel like me. I still find myself thinking that the gay is a ‘mental block’ or something to grow out of. And I accept the fact that I desire women, in a feral, primal way, fine, but I don’t want to take sexual contact as something casual, I would prefer to love, trust and understand my girlfriend as a person first. I don’t see lesbians as icky for wanting each other. It is the fact that I’m sensitive and feel very strongly about many things, including love, that makes me want to wait.
No. 219202
>>218868I don't think there are specific signs. Most people wouldn't guess I like girls. You have to talk to women and test the waters.
Those close to you probably guessed you're gay because you checked out girls, didn't care about boys. I know some friends had guessed I'm gay before I had realise it myself because I used to talk about women in a very sexual way with desire.
No. 219223
>>219202I have to interact with people instead of shitposting and sulking online? Darn.
It is weird how other people seem to think you’re gay before you know it yourself. I guess being feral for women exclusively felt so normal for girls like me that we never considered ourselves weird until later on. I always assumed the absolute truth is women are hot and straight women aren’t attracted to men but to personalities or something, and everyone likes women. And it’s weird to think that women don’t always ‘look’ gay, like you say people often don’t assume that you’re gay. I always assumed gay woman =masculine but maybe they’re just more visible. Plus, a lot of my family doesn’t think lesbians exist, so I believed I just had to grow up and stop being silly.
No. 219748
Hooked up with my bi coworker, and now I'm being awkward.
I thought she dated men only, but then she put her arm around me at a company event. I leaned into her. We held hands. She said something to me like, "Do you think this guy we're sitting with knows we fuck women." So I was like, "OH SHIT." I asked her to kiss. I went home with her, and we had sex.
I was sorta in disbelief that it was happening.
I told her I had a good time, and she said the same. So I asked her over to my place later that week. We hung out, and I had so much fun but it felt like best friend sleep over time -_- Which is fine, I'm happy to have a new friend, I just want to know if I should not pursue something here. Like… She kept talking about the men she has dated. She cuddled up to me a few times. When I would lean into her thinking maybe we would make out or something- nope, she would end up leaning away. She spent the night. In the morning she woke me up asking if I wanted to cuddle. Which we did. No kissing.
I told her I had a good time, and she said the same. We hugged goodbye and made plans to see each other again this week.
Not sure if she's maybe not into me. I think I'm just being awkward because it's a coworker, or if the bi thing is tripping me up bc I was like, "Wait so is she actually bi because she's only talking about men I'm confused."
Help.
No. 219797
>>219748>She said something to me like, "Do you think this guy we're sitting with knows we fuck women." Red flag #1, framing her attraction to women around how it may titillate males
>Like… She kept talking about the men she has dated.Red flag #2, talking about men when she's on a date with a woman
>In the morning she woke me up asking if I wanted to cuddle. Which we did. No kissingKinda sounds like she wants to be soft and cottagecore uwu with a woman instead of a sexual connection
>"Wait so is she actually bi because she's only talking about men I'm confused."If she reciprocated when you had sex I'd guess she's bi but with a strong preference for men. If she didn't reciprocate I'd guess she's a confused het woman. Either way if she's into you, I doubt it's for anything more serious than a fling before she finds the next boyfriend. Sorry nona.
No. 219867
>>219748 I’m sorry to say but
>>219797 broke it down well. It sounds like you would be a side piece in her life, waiting for a man and messing around with women who are safer, know their way around a woman, and making her look ‘hot’, especially as she kept on bringing up men.
No. 220247
>>219797>Red flag #1, framing her attraction to women around how it may titillate malesEhh I could see it, but it wasn't framed that way exactly. She said it quietly to me as a way of indicating why we were both being kinda terse with the guy. I'm not very open about my sexuality at work, and I'm sorta femme. So I viewed it as her trying to confirm if I was into women or not. Idk it felt like lesbian courtship to me.
>Red flag #2, talking about men when she's on a date with a womanBut this I DO view as a red flag. Is she bi? Bi-curious? Was she comp-het? Idk. I have so many questions.
>Either way if she's into you, I doubt it's for anything more serious than a fling before she finds the next boyfriend. Sorry nona.Fml. It's just tripping me up and making me feel weird about making a move, though. She seemed a little inexperienced when we had sex, but I thought maybe she was just drunk at the time.
I don't mind a fling I don't think, although I've been thinking about her every night before bed for weeks now which makes me feel kinda pathetic. I definitely want to have sex again, but I don't want to feel like a creep.
No. 220329
>>220247DA. Wanting to have sex again doesn't make you a creep, don't fall into that "oh no scary predatory lesbian" anxiety. It really is fine. But I think you need to be straightforward about it all. I don't think there's anything wrong with just asking her how she feels rather than trying to interpret it all. We don't know her and asking is the only way you can make things clearer.
>Is she bi? Bi-curious?Maybe to either
>Was she comp-het?lmao, no
No. 220516
>>220200Ah, it may be annoying but you must be quite pretty. And that may mean people trusting you more, better job prospects, and being perceived as kinder, so I think you’re a little lucky. If you really want to repel men, sit with your mouth hanging open, twitch, cough like a smoker and tap into your inner sacred autism. I know how you feel about wanting to be invisible to men, but for some reason, even with long hair and trying to act straight I swear I’ve been more popular with girls. Maybe pheromone theory is real.
>>220439Does long hair feel like a burden to you? How come you feel more ‘you’ with short hair? I hope to understand a little better. I could never cut my hair because I fear change, and when I see my grandparents I put on a skirt and wear my hair down, but I can also tuck it under a hat. I heard my parents say women with short hair look gay, is it a visibility thing? Do you also want to avoid male attention?
No. 220588
>>220516Ayrt. It does feel like a burden; I had very long hair for the majority of my childhood and my mom literally would not let me leave the house if I didn't blow dry it, which was time intensive for a ten year old. I've had an aversion to haircare since then. I hate brushing it, I hate styling it, I hate maintaining it. I also have a strong jaw and prominent cheekbones, I consider them my best features and when my hair is short it really brings them out. I'm also pretty butch so I think it just completes my look.
I do like being more visible to other gay people in the area, but my gf have a shaved head and sometimes people look freaked out or angry at us in public which I hate. We get less of that when my hair is long for whatever reason. I guess two obvious dykes are scarier than one. I actually worried over cutting my hair because I don't really like being visible. We're not in an accepting area.
And sadly no, I cannot avoid male attention no matter what I do so I don't factor that into my planning.
No. 220649
>>220588Yeah, visibility can be a blessing and a curse. I want the other homos to detect me, but not my family or judgemental randos haha
Having to blowdry hair and be ‘proper’ at ten is so dumb, so is being expected to look a certain way, I just hate the type of person that likes to micro manage others. And then when I choose not to dress feminine or like certain stuff, some family members act like I’m an nlog, which implies you can’t just EXIST and enjoy stuff without doing it for someone else, as a girl. If you get judged for looking butch, just act unbothered or be like “thank you for your opinion on me”, people who matter won’t judge you like that anyway.
No. 220685
>>200981Hey beautiful nonitas, I hope I’m posting in the right place. I have been in a relationship with a man for a while, no complaints, except for I fantasize about laying with women, both sexual and intimate just cuddling, making out, holding hands, hanging out . Thankfully my partner is extremely supportive of my exploring and figuring out my sexuality. He doesn’t want to be involved but has agreed it would be good for me to put myself out there. (No we are not weird poly people trying to find a third wheel.)
I guess, I’m trying to ask the anons here, how can I navigate it on dating apps, being respectful to the women on there. I don’t want to misdirect or disrespect. Sorry if this is the wrong place to ask. Thank you all.
No. 220702
>>220685While I don't want to be the mean lesbian telling bicurious girls to fuck off back to their Nigel this post still hits all the checkmarks for that annoying unicorn seeker.
>I'm in a serious relationship with a man>I want to experiment with a woman >My moid is supportive about it (i.e. thinks it's hot and doesn't consider it "real love" because it's just two girls)Just hook up with other straight girls who want to experiment, I'm sure there are plenty of them. Lesbians generally don't want a potential pillow princess who's only looking for a woman to satisfy her gay whims, a lot of us are dead tired about being used as live sex toys to try out as a fun new adventure.
No. 220705
>>220702Op here, and I really appreciate all the replies, I totally get by people would be mad. I wasn’t trying to piss people off, I’m just overwhelmed and have been so confused about my sexuality. I will take your advise. I just didn’t want to get on a dating app, seeking women, and waste their time or disrespect them.
My bf is just supportive and he understands he’s not apart of my exploration. Idk, I feel like I missed my window to explore my sexuality when I was younger, and now I don’t know how to move forward.
No. 220741
>>220725>>220728if i could turn myself straight or bi i would, honestly. i'd love to have a larger dating pool with less troons, no contact with LGBTQ++ shit outside of being an ally or having some token gay friends, just live a relatively normal life even if i stay single because most moids are awful
i used to try to sympathize with straight women who want to able to date women because they see it as "safer" than risking abuse from men, but at the same time, being a dyke didn't "save" me from male abuse and i've been preyed on by women and can't see them as "safe" either, so i really can't feel bad. count your blessings, honestly. 99% of people are heterosexual and the ones who aren't are some kind of bisexual
No. 220751
>>220741So this is it? Lesbian really means loneliness? I am not going to be kidnapped by an affectionate vampire girl or meet my wife at a bookstore on a rainy day??
Does it get easier at uni to find a gf? Should I just cope and die alone? I physically NEED a gf to live in rural Scotland with or I will die!!!
No. 220753
>>220741All of this. I fucking wish I was straight or bi, I wish I could be gender conforming without feeling like a biohon, I wish I found men even remotely attractive so I could live a normal life instead of whatever shit hand I was dealt at birth. We're absolutely born this way because this goddamn skeleton has haunted me since childhood and affected me, how I interact with people and how they treat me every step of the way.
>being a dyke didn't "save" me from male abuse and i've been preyed on by women and can't see them as "safe" eitherThis. Despite being a lesbian I was still abused and sexually harassed by men who either didn't respect my boundaries, thought they would turn me straight or resented me for not being attracted to them. I've also been abused by an unhinged ex girlfriend who made me emotionally fucked and terrified of intimate human contact.
Straight women who wish they were lesbian don't know what the fuck they're talking about. Some lucked out and grew in a nurturing environment with plenty of LGB friends and parents supporting them and got to grow up into a whole person but a lot of us have to deal with the trauma of feeling disgusting and rejected until the day we die. There's a reason why lesbians and FTMs top LGBT suicide statistics.
No. 220781
>>220753AYRT, it's just annoying to me since these same straight women who wish they were dykes see F/F relationships as like those highschool teen movies where the girl hero has a female BFF, but they just live together or sleep in the same bed. i never got to be in a relationship but i ended up having adult women and girls my age be inappropriate to me while underage (which hurt more psychologically than the boys and men) and the real women i attract on dating apps are gross as fuck. meanwhile i've met sweet guys who liked me and i would be good friends with, but felt broken for not being capable of settling with them for a relationship. the only upside i guess is that women who turn out
abusive can't get you pregnant, but that's barely enough to convince me it's better than being straight like everyone else. i barely get along with or relate to most other lesbians anyway so it feels lonely in all ways
>>220751are you like…new here
No. 220815
>>220781Yes…i am…new…here…
But not that new, I just couldn’t be bothered to reign in the inner retard
I know that the ‘idealised’ lesbian relationship to many straight girls is holding hands in a little czech cottage and baking poppy seed cake and kissing on the cheek (maybe a little too spicy), but one thing that is nice about being in ‘girl world’ is that we can just…ask to go for walks, take naps together, be openly affectionate. Guys rarely do that, and then bitch about loneliness, so even female friendships can give enough comfort.
I will say though, I feel as though acting more ‘feminine’, speaking softer, acting girly made me seem like less of a lesbo threat/creep/whatever they think being a gay girl makes you. It was entirely a response to bullying and a way to get girls to trust me again, even though I was never a predator, would never cross boundaries. So if you’re really lonely, female friendships can heal you, and I really don’t mean it in a gross way. It can be hard to fit in and sometimes you need to change yourself a little, but it would definitely be better to be alone than with girls who hurt you.
>>220753I hate the moid internet but are the rumours true that lesbian relationships are just
abusive and crazy? Are lesbians often
victims of molestation? I thought we were the actual normal ones…
No. 220817
>>220815Lurk more, the lesbian domestic violence meme has been discussed upthread and debunked.
>>209655>>212238tl;dr: The study people refer to had a really small sample size, it counted past abuse suffered at the hands of male perpetrators as lesbian domestic violence, lesbian relationships actually had the lowest occurrence of domestic abuse.
No. 220835
>>220818>>220817That’s the thing. I swear, it has to be uncommon for a woman to be sexually assaulted by a woman, yet here are lesbians reporting it. And if the study is right, it seems as though there isn’t such significant domestic abuse as I thought, but inappropriateness? It seems so. I cannot make a conclusion from a few statements on a tajik fungus foraging website, as this could just represent a small group, with things in common, like being an outsider/growing up in vulnerable conditions. And who is the perpetrator?
>>220818I did hope that at least one benefit would be safer relationships, but I guess I should be realistic. If you think your homosexual tendencies come from a place of hurt, celibacy is an option, but you will need inner strength, fulfilment, and good friends and family. I think the point that so many women have been hurt and abused but are still straight is
valid, that it may cause homosexual tendencies but rarely.
Homosexual men on the other hand, I believe are hurt in some way, but I won’t go out of my way to be mean.
No. 220883
>>220835i forgot to mention this in my last reply to you, but like i said, while the DV stats for lesbian relationships is low (doesn't mean it never happens), i mention that i was assaulted by a friend; it wouldn't be impossible that someone i dated and let into my life intimately would do that, but those stats people wrongly use as proof that dykes are just violent is in regard to abuse in general. i know some lesbians who weren't abused, but they still feel shitty about being lesbians for other reason
>>220873makes sense, but it's the other way around for me. abuse/rape/harassment from males was very traumatizing for me but in the end i feel more "psychologically" damaged by the female abuse, since besides that one exception, it was more emotional/mental than physical, even though it wasn't as extreme. that's probably just me though
>>220838this site is kiwifarms for women, let's be real lmao
No. 220901
>>220899No, it has to be a dance event in a meadow tucked into a forest, masquerade, where you meet your future wife, and then get married on a starry night when winter comes
Sorry i love fairytales and am scared of e dating lol
No. 221057
>>221053Why don’t you want your body to be perceived? And who do you want to hide it from?
If it’s from men, the public, that’s understandable. If it’s from a partner, that’s different.
About feeling predatory, I get it. I think you need to feel better in yourself. If you work hard, achieve, look after your body, you’re less likely to feel like a creep. Plus, you know yourself you are thinking of her like a human (not a potential ‘screw’ or whatever) and the fact that you’re worried about being pushy/creepy shows you aren’t.
Also, wouldn’t you love for a cute girl like yourself to charm you, try to make you smile and laugh, want to get to know you more? Exactly. So go ahead.
No. 221066
>>221053No, but thank you for putting my feelings into words better than I coud have. I stress over my looks like crazy and developed and ED over staying thin and fit just so that I wouldn't come across as a pervert if I liked another girl's selfie. Yes, I know.
>>221057NTA but it's not really just a switch you flip on and off. A lot of us, especially GNC lesbians, have long internalized the thought that they're inherently predatory and practically scrote lite if they make even the slightest move towards a girl. Just a few days ago I was reading up some normie women discussing a completely unrelated topic and suddenly someone made a weird comment about "ugly bulldykes" and how they want to rape straight women and everyone agreed on it. Whenever I think the predatory lesbian stereotype has died and it's only inside my head I'm slapped in the face with it.
No. 221094
>>221053I don't feel predatory, but lately I feel that I'm just so ugly I think I would be insulting a woman if I showed interest in her. I feel like it would take a lot of audacity if a Quasimodo like me, who should already know her place and that this woman is way above my league, asked her out. How dare I?
And so I've decided to die alone but maybe my amazing personality shines through enough someday that someone likes me.
No. 221110
>>221053Never really gotten over it. I started to get a measure of self confidence and recently wondered if any girls in public might think I'm cute - instantly wracked with predatory guilt and back to square one, self image wise. Why are we like this? I guess bc we're so aware of what it's like to be sexualized and objectified against our will.
Irt being perceived, I guess it depends on what you find shameful about yourself. I used to have a lot of 'dysphoria' based on perception until I realized I am literally just living and that I don't have to look any particular way. Who am I pleasing with my appearance? I'm just buying groceries. It helps working a job where I see a lot of weird and different bodies up close and personal (healthcare). We're just flawed skin sacks anon, the sooner we all realize it the better.
No. 221347
>>221320>>221343I definitely wanted to be a boy as a child, as long as I can remember. It never made sense to me despite me knowing I was a lesbian since I was maybe 10 but then someone brought up the theory that it's because when you are attracted to women in a heteronormative society you instantly assume you have to be a boy in order to be in their romantic proximity. It definitely answered the life-long question I had. As for the body issues, I personally think it's the same reasoning. I did consider trooning for the longest time because as a self-hating lesbian I wanted to make my body more attractive to women instead of men but I honestly realized none of this until
lolcow gendercrit theory made me explore my own motivations. I just thought I was a boy born into a girl body and that was why I was attracted to women (because lesbians only exist in porn, right?), and I'm definitely not the only one. At least seeing how 90% of the GNC lesbians that I know have transitioned in the past 10 years.
No. 221404
>>221397This is literally all I think about except more around the 90s/2000s. It just drives me absolutely fucking insane that this actually existed and I missed out but that this life and that community may have been possible if it weren’t for creepy rapey crossdressing men. Lesbian culture was so rich and beautiful and now these spaces and these traditions and this way of life has been totally wiped out.
And I don’t mean “way of life” in the polilez way before someone jumps down my throat about it. But we had our own kind of “things”, our own spots to hang out, our get togethers. It’s just all been destroyed. I’m too young to have ever experienced any of it so now I’m like a lonely drifter wandering around aimlessly and anytime I think I’ve found a girl like me then bam! She’s non-binary, she’s bisexual, she’s pansexual, she’s queer. It’s like we’re all just gone.
No. 221434
>>221352>Especially considering it’s in Michigan, ya know, the place where all the lesbians got shunned into cancelling the biggest lesbian get together since the 70s because of trans women not being included. I’m so aloneI'm not even a hardcore feminist but thinking about michfest makes me so angry and sad. Bio-males can't handle not even one thing not being about them. I know there are some womyn's lands out there, but they're not advertised online for obvious reasons
>>221347I didn't realize my sexuality back then so the main reason I wanted to be a boy as a child (despite not being naturally masculine, I was barely a tomboy) was because of abuse, which is why the whole "transkid" thing is horrifying to me…
No. 221577
>>221565It's what straight people wish lesbians were like. Even girlier than straight women, objectifying themselves for male gaze and most importantly only seeing themselves as friends who are kind of dating - until the next man comes along at least.
It's the ultimate scrote fantasy as well.
No. 221594
>>221578i've read theories from radfems that 1. the "cottagecore sapphic uwu" fantasy thing is a politically correct way of desiring a form of separatism, because while it is twee and annoying, it also implies living away far from society and living sustainably (this is also why the discourse from woke people about how cottagecore is colonialist and racist went so hard since it was mostly women liking it), and 2. actual lesbians who talk about just wanting to hold hands and braid hair with girls on public queer spaces are self-censoring themselves in because if they go into any remotely sexual territory they'll be hounded by TIMs and polilez bi women over "what about girldick???"
they're interesting theories but i'm not a radfem so it probably isn't that deep for everyone doing that though, and most of these young "wlws" are either bandwagoning since being "queer" is cool now or just mentally immature
No. 221733
>>221352Yes, I cannot overstate how much lonelier it feels as a L compared to the rest of the BGT (the g and the t being gross)
It feels like there are so many men in dresses and girls who date guys but once tweeted 'girls are pretty', but I wish I knew where the girls who felt off growing up for not being able to like men could find each other. I don't know if it's so common for lesbians to transition, but I think if they were less lonely this problem could be mitigated.
It must be especially sad considering you're near Michigan, where Michfest happened. It looked so cool, so safe, a place where lesbians could stop being the weird ones for once.
What gives me hope though is that if it's happened before, it will happen again. We are going to learn practical skills. We are going to get healthy and confident. We are going to find each other again. I entirely have hope that we can still have events like this.
>>221320I remember when I was a younger kid thinking I was more like a boy on the inside, and used to pretend to be a guy so I could ask girls to be my girlfriend "but just as a JOKE" lmao, even when playing boyfriend/girlfriend with my best friend
I had short hair for a while and was kind of pushy and always did the opposite of what I was supposed to. I know it sounds troony but I remember thinking "wow i cant wait to have boob so i can look at boob in the mirror".
So I feel less like an FTM, and more like a tomboyish MTF, except I'm an actual girl, so I guess I would say I'm more like FTMTF. I mean, I'm a yurifag, I wanted to become a woman for
those reasons as a kid, and I'm an autist who loves gaming. I feel like irl Kikomi-Chan sometimes kek
>>221565Right, so here's the thing. A lot of young 'sapphics', are straight girls who
>want to be special>want a close friendship>think that thinking girls=pretty means they're gay>tik tok brainwashed themSo a lot of them will have an impression of lesbianism that is rather sexless, and more "so pretty, best friends, my favourite person, let's hold hands", which then isolates the real, feral lesbians who genuinely want women and then feel like a creep and a weirdo as a result. And for sure there are going to be plenty of 'lesbians/sapphics' like this who will go to men once they're a little grown up, or bored of hand holding, and real lesbians will get told they're having a phase, accept the girldick etc
No. 221749
>>221733>which then isolates the real, feral lesbians who genuinely want women and then feel like a creep and a weirdo as a result.This happened to me and it sucked. I somehow managed to avoid the Lesbian Shame growing up, and was very comfortable with my sexuality. Then my first serious gf was a Tumblr cottagecore bisexual and it ruined me. She would literally talk about "purity", like we'd plan camping trips and she'd remind me that there would be no sex because she wanted it to be a "pure and wholesome" experience.
Really fucked me up. Consensual sex between two women who love each other IS pure and wholesome, not dirty and shameful. I broke it off over a year ago and I still feel gross and scrotey about masturbating or experiencing sexual attraction. Polilez bullshit (which cottagecore uwu is just the most recent version of) is so damaging to young lesbians and I have 0 tolerance for it now.
No. 221766
>>221749 She could have been waiting for commitment, like a morals thing, but if she demands abstinence from you and then messes around with men with ease then yeah, that is pretty ridiculous. Lesbian shame is real, but I also would want to wait for M'Lady before doing anything serious, to spend time together, see if we want the same things, to bond.
I really hope she didn't use you for an experience, and I agree that the love between two women who love each other is the best (probably, still a virgin but I look forwards to it lol)
No. 221824
File: 1641490407566.jpg (16.73 KB, 236x354, 1625181616549.jpg)
My gf and i tried using a strap on for the first time, but it felt a little weird and was awkward to manoeuver. Any nonnies with tips?
I bought lube, anything else?
No. 221845
>>221839I think they just got brainrot from p
rnographic material and then associated the female body with sxual acts, even though they never liked women before. Also the whole 'loli' stuff is sickening, and I'm pretty sure only males like that, so they're just saying it for cool girl points for guys. Imagine being such a pickme you would defend noncery, could never be me.
>>221830This is about my fifth time being called a troon on here lmao
No. 221854
>>221845>I think they just got brainrot from prnographic material and then associated the female body with sxual acts, even though they never liked women beforeThat's actually what I was trying to describe, thank you for explaining it better.
>Also the whole 'loli' stuff is sickening, and I'm pretty sure only males like thatThe crazy thing is, I've encountered actual females who like degenerate shit like that. When I was a teenager I knew a girl who liked that kind of stuff and was also similar to the woman you knew, except she wasn't homophobic to women (she has some sentiments like "why do fangirls make everything gay" though) but she was misogynistic/anti-feminist in general. She kept flip-flopping between calling herself bi or straight, to this day I don't know if she was bi but misogynistic or straight and porn-damaged
No. 221889
>>221884I genuinely don't believe there is a way to "learn" without hands on experience. That said I also don't advocate for casual sex, especially since you seem insecure. I'd personally advise you to not worry about it too much because, with the right woman (i.e. someone who loves you, cares for you, and wants the best for you), you can take your time and learn at your own pace. Maybe focus on gaining confidence in yourself in general, and unpacking that feeling of having a lot to live up to.
BTW 21 is not "too old" to be a virgin, especially for lesbians. Whatever you do, don't rush into a sexual situation just because you're afraid of "missing out," or believe that other people are judging you.
No. 221905
>>221884I’m a virgin too but not inexperienced with women. If it’s someone you trust, love, and are comfortable with, you will feel safe to go forwards. Exploring for the first time is awkward, but it’s ok, because you trust each other, and can be uncomfortable together. Don’t give it away to just anyone, and by the way, 21 is not old to be a virgin, lesbians have a longer path to love, as in there are less of us, so don’t worry. I think anon above was right, get comfy in yourself too.
No. 221993
This is not bait, I know it looks like it.
I feel like I need ‘the one’ to fix me. I have no care for men. I used to try to hard, like
>come on…it’s just a mental block…
> these subliminals will help me like men
>try thinking of alluring women and then pinching yourself or causing yourself pain
When I was in my early teens and discovering women, I just assumed everyone felt the same way. That women are attractive, men are not, but you need to settle with a man regardless. So I had no problem thinking of women in an intimate way, or ‘ironically’ being close with girls a little later on. When I hit 16 or so, I was like “wow that’s weird and gay”, and felt so much shame. I couldn’t accept love from a girl who liked me a lot, I was ashamed every time we even cuddled. I got physically intimidated and hurt in middle school for being a “lesbo” and my mum arranged for me, at about 17, to meet with boys my age within our religion (under her supervision kek). Always saying that it will be so great when I can date, that it’s the best thing ever. I swore, lesbians don’t exist, it’s a mental illness/block. I was homophobic with my family to get their approval, to deter suspicions. ‘They don’t exist, it’s gross!’
Shortly before I turned 18, I realised that only being attracted to women, feeling dread at the thought of having to marry a man but easily being enthralled by women made me a homosexual. I don’t feel so much shame anymore, but I find it hard to accept and believe myself.
I still have the residual feeling that girls don’t care about men sexually until they have had experience with them-that’s why I can’t like men.
>You can’t be a virgin with heterosexual urges towards men. That doesn’t exist, right? Girls don’t get lustful. No one wants to look at men. I’m not gay, I’m inexperienced/mentally blocked/lonely. A guy will fix me!
It’s like the lesbophobic 16 year old me still has a voice in my brain. I know now that I am gay, but I often just feel broken, inexperienced, or weird instead. I used to hate myself and want to change so much, and even though I accept myself now at 18, the voice that tells me that I’ll be fixed soon, give men a chance, I’m ill, etc is still there
Does anyone else struggle with residual self hatred?
No. 222001
>>221993Sounds like you have an incredibly controlling family, so to me it reads that you've internalised THEIR voices more than anything. Face it. You were raised to despise a fundamental part of yourself with such intensity that you publicly insulted and physically injured yourself as a "cure." No wonder you're having trouble getting over it.
You'll need to take a radical approach to this. The residual lesbian shame is only a symptom, like your low self-esteem, feelings of not belonging, fear of intimacy, and unrealistic expectations for yourself. I suspect it comes back to the way you were raised— not just the homophobia but additional unhealthy dynamics as well.
You're very young and you have a lot of life ahead of you. It's in your best interest to address things early, to accept what happened to you and then take meaningful steps to thrive. Obviously I don't know everything about your family so I can't recommend any specific solutions, but you might consider professional help or at least some self-help books.
No. 222048
>>221889Wow, thank you for this kind and patient response, nona. you're definitely right re: me being insecure. I was leaning in the direction of trying casual sex but now I'm reconsidering
>>221905thank you for the virgin solidarity. this eases my anxiety
No. 222056
>>222037Yeah, it sucks being a people pleaser lesbian, never knowing how fo listen to your own wants. I’m really sorry you’ve been feeling like this for that long. But for me I think the loneliness of being the only lesbian you know can have you second guessing yourself a lot, I hope at least you know some girls like you. I wish I had friends like me lol
>>222001Don’t know how you knew i had a fear of intimacy haha
I have been working in the self esteem thing and I promise I’ll make a woman out of myself for my future wife
(Yes im a gay tradthot)
No. 223459
File: 1642132057922.png (13.53 KB, 462x367, 1621716392570.png)
>>221991Tavsiyem yok cunku Turkiye'den siktirip gideli cok oldu ama bol sans diliyorum sana.
No. 223677
>>221884I second what all the other nonas said but you could also try taking a massage course. Massage isn't inherently sexual, but a lot of the skills you learn are absolutely crucial to having a good intimate time with someone else. These skills are things like learning to be comfortable touching someone else, reading body language, asking what someone does /doesn't like, cultivating a non judgmental and caring atmosphere, sensual and delicate touch, adjusting your touch for different sensitivities. I could go on. It's also excellent foreplay.
I know you're stone but if you're ok with it you could also get a massage yourself first and try to notice some of the things I mentioned. Get a really good recommendation though. Good luck noni
No. 223809
>>223761Ntayrt Maybe this is just me but I feel the assumed dynamics of topping/bottoming are flipped to me. When I am receiving I feel I'm in a more submissive position because I am literally putting my pleasure in someone else's hands (literally and figuratively kek) At the same time topping can also feel submissive because I'm trying to focus all my energy to please someone else.
Idk if the stereotype that bottom=submissive comes from hetro or gay male sex where the person receiving MUST be the one in a more sub position because they are letting someone else get pleasure from using their body, but to me the power dynamics are different when two women interact sexually. It's hard because we tie so many emotions & expectations in the 'role' we play
I don't like to phrase it that way but yeah Just do whatever is most comfortable to you
No. 224018
>>223743It's not uncommon. Personally I feel like I take a long time to orgasm when receiving, meanwhile with giving it's easy. So I have a strong preference for giving. Though if I'd be with a longterm partner, I'm fine with working on that.
Sometimes I also fantasize about having a moment with another butch and I get so high that I just let go>>223809Truth.
No. 224043
>>224040ayrt i made the lesbian server and i also have a
terf server on discord
No. 224164
>>224144women will not laugh at your breasts for hanging low or being deflated or having stretch marks or scars or tons of huge montgomery glands or anything like that. would you laugh at a woman's body who has just put herself in this position and given you her trust?
actual lesbians with field experience usually tend to have healthier and more realistic ideas about body image (and tend to be sexually attracted to things a pornsick man would never appreciate so earnestly or appraise so neutrally). also capable of being deeply aroused by something natural and normal (take body hair, muscles, a bit of a belly, large areola and labia for instance) without fetishizing it, as it's not divorced and disconnected from understandings of our own bodies in the same way het male porn-sexuality is. this isn't something i say from a position of romanticism at all. lesbians tend to be very pragmatic and have seen all shapes and stripes of the female figure since birth. being exposed to other womens bodies in nonsexual settings as a woman fosters a good value neutral assessment of these things.
if a woman wants to fuck you, and the desire is palpably mutual she is not going to dissect you for flaws like some livestock animal. i promise you her mind will be elsewhere entirely.
you are going to grow old and die one day. who cares what your tits look like? there is nothing wrong with your body, and i'm sure you will be deeply attractive to many women. be confident and own it. that is deeply attractive and alluring; more importantly, it will help you to feel more comfortable and less ashamed. desirability isn't the end all be all, but it is also organic, extends beyond the physical, and it's easily attainable.
No. 224165
>>224164Thanks.
I think I have this idea that I'm not good enough for women because several years ago I messaged an older woman on a dating site, did not get beyond small talk and I just stopped replying but then I saw her in real life and her and her friend were pointing and laughing at me. Made me feel like shit.
Also I've had friends who experimented with girls but never experimented with me, I guess because I'm ugly and gross.
I'm nearly 29 and have never been in a romantic relationship, I guess I'm too ugly.
I could try dating apps again, so what if I get made fun of again.
No. 224275
>>224165I'm so sorry this happened to you, anon. Honestly
>>224164 is very right, I share her views. Women are also attracted to different things than strictly how something looks like men are - I get turned on most by sound for example.
I would guess that the woman you met wasn't an actual lesbian at all by the way she treated you. Try not to give her a second thought.
No. 224282
>>224215I haven't even thought about age. I'm emotionally stunted so maybe a younger woman won't be so bad for me. I don't have an age preference.
>>224275She looked very gay, very short hair and pretty masculine. I don't know.
Either way she was in no position to mock anyone. She wasn't conventionally attractive, don't think she could be considered a catch in any way.
No. 224313
File: 1642453713071.jpg (35.44 KB, 564x752, 239a16f31f938b3605caa863f7a60f…)
Nonnies please let me vent for a moment. I'm hopelessly crushing on a straight girl who's taken no less and I've been for a long while. She's nothing less but everything I look for in a woman looks and personality wise and my heart was broken to pieces once I found out she's started dating a man. They're happy together and have a good, healthy relationship which ironically pains me even more.
The worst thing is knowing that I never even had a chance simply for being the wrong gender. How does one get over the fact that the game was rigged from the start? I'm sick of being cursed to go through life alone without the heterosexual privilege of being able to assume that I could date a girl I find cute.
No. 224324
>>224165Sounds like it was a straight woman who wanted to try and see if she could score with women.
Try to go out with someone who isn't a bihet or straight girl, maybe go for someone who looks more relaxed, doesn't do their hair, makeup etc. in a way that fits male gaze.
Women who want to appeal to male gaze are the worst regardless their sexuality. They will tear other women down for getting surgery or having bad natural features, doing too much or too little makeup, etc.
You're not ugly. Even if she thought you were ugly, it doesn't make you ugly. A large majority of people think some universally accepted beauty icons are ugly, that doesn't change their status does it?
No. 224421
File: 1642476488708.jpg (9.68 KB, 335x335, ZgXBHf51_400x400.jpg)
Hornyposting but I'm 26 and I haven't eaten a girl out yet I'm so mad, am I doomed to celibacy? Just want to make a cute tall girl squirm and clench my head between her thighs. I've been so repressed for so long, just wanna move out of this shithole.
No. 224696
>>224689so far we have some man hating,
terf things, laughing about old cows, sharing experiences with dating and homophobia etc
No. 225316
File: 1642790123620.jpg (267.99 KB, 2048x1362, tumblr_618778454fa5f7ae1c1ffd4…)
>>225215we are rooting for you
nonny! i hope it goes well
No. 225446
>>223743Very late but I feel the same as you. I don't know if it's normal and I don't identify as stone either, I just feel very vulnerable when I'm receiving and I have a lot of intrusive thoughts so it's hard to focus and feel good. I prefer to top and it satisfies me, every so often the stars align and I bottom but it's rare.
You didn't mention if you were actually interested in receiving but my advice if you are is to not go into it with an orgasm in mind. Just focus on how you feel and what you like and think of it as a way to be closer to her.
No. 225579
>>218653>>218757Very late to the party I know, haven't been around here for some time, but… what the actual fuck. This situation rubs me all kinds of wrong ways.
Let me get this straight, she keeps moaning that you made her feel "unsafe" by just… telling her to stop doing something that was hurting you? What the fuck? It sounds like she's trying to paint you as the "predatory lesbian" on one hand, guilt trip you like an actual predatory scrote would on the other. Imagine if an anon posted in the vent thread about how a guy who did something that made her feel uncomfortable/hurt her during sex later proceeded to guilt trip her for telling him to simply stop, over and over. Sounds pretty insane, right? Exactly.
I'm begging you anons, please date better women.
No. 225592
File: 1642893307009.png (Spoiler Image,795.75 KB, 700x708, capture.PNG)
Sorry for the small rant in advance but I am so over the art community and all these straight people making profit off of selling gay merchandise or peddling ftm shit. How they call themselves queer shouting it out to everyone in ear shot while I'm just planning to disappear into the night from my family because they're all homophobic. I hate how all these straight wokey doke people have invaded the gay community and become the whole art community. One artist I admire just posted this, I'm just so angry and over it.
No. 225655
File: 1642926747732.jpg (71.87 KB, 1114x500, IMG_20200112_234644.jpg)
>>225592I'm so sorry, nonna. As an artist I feel the exact same way. I come across so many larpers in the art community too, and their words are accepted over real gay people. It's all just so exhausting.
No. 225676
>>225592I hate it too, you're not at all alone on this
nonnie. The worst part is when they identify as ambiguously "queer" while being married to a Nigel who agrees to play along her larp so that she can write thinkpieces on how hard it is to be a kweer couple because people consider you straight for being in a heterosexual relationship. It's painful shit to witness and especially hurtful because a lot of gay people still struggle with homophobic families and environments in general only to see a conforming Hettie Bettie bitch and moan about a mean gay telling her she's not gay enough.
No. 225763
File: 1642971747251.jpg (9.93 KB, 480x360, 060aaceab6326a1a0475464368cc01…)
>>225592I'm convinced that normie women on writing twitter/booktok are tacking she/they onto their profiles because they've figured out that it increases their chance of their query getting looked at by agents. At first I thought there were just a lot of annoying enbies but now I suspect that they know exactly what they're doing. The worst part? It works. It's obviously not a get published free card, but it increases the number of eyes on their query.
No. 225766
>>225735Do you mean while still passing as unproblematic under the radar of gendershits? There isn't much. I just put "she/her" in my profile and use terms like lesbian instead of sapphic or wlw. You could put heart emojis in the green/white/purple
terf flag, but that'll make it obvious. Maybe you could put a quote from a famous feminist, like Dworkin?
No. 225841
File: 1642996406011.png (672.72 KB, 543x1023, Capture1.PNG)
>>225676>>225655Thank you both for replying and understanding. It sucks when the rage starts to bubble over. Exactly that! So many people use the word queer, when will it stop. I started unfollowing these artists and I almost follow no one now lol.
>>225676Yeah, plus the artist is I think straight. She doesn't have any rainbows or shit in her bio. This is that Classical But Make It Gay ver2 that she's a part of.
>>225763YES! I was just talking to my sister about this women I checked her Instagram and tiktok and it looks like recently she's made her whole personality being nonbinary and blew up online. Does really seem like its a marketing tactic now.
No. 225886
>>225841>107.2K likes I hate this clown world I'm going to go live in a cabin in the middle of the woods forever
>>225885Is it really? UGH
No. 225887
>>225886if it makes you feel any better,
nonnie, i'm pretty sure tiktok massively inflates its metrics in order to fellate its users egos
No. 225890
File: 1643031982583.jpg (84.83 KB, 750x734, hanging in there star.jpg)
>>225887Thank you, that actually does help
No. 225981
>>225905Welcome
>>225967Do you think nonbinary people have an advantage over lesbians, or is it all the same as long as their a minority?. It's annoying to throw "btw i'm lgbt" into query but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do.
No. 226010
File: 1643076040132.png (85.26 KB, 960x980, 6pxtp2syipa71.png)
>>225886Yeah, it is, sadly. The shades are different, but I've never seen the suffragette flag in real life, only online in Radfem circles, but I see the genderqueer one occasionally, so I think most people who are vaguely familiar with "queer" flags will assume the trans one if they see those colors (admittedly I do too, unless there's something
TERF-y next to it).
No. 226576
File: 1643244995582.jpg (31.82 KB, 640x360, ncssc6vtkry71.jpg)
i think clean pussy tastes a bit tangy like cucumber water, what would you nonas say it tastes like?
No. 226803
File: 1643325058160.jpeg (502.73 KB, 828x1049, F7B0C176-2474-4128-8956-D979A0…)
>>226576Hollandaise sauce
No. 226983
File: 1643409837509.gif (45.16 KB, 138x90, eevee-eevee-wow.gif)
>>226694Aww congratulations!
No. 227082
File: 1643467584387.jpeg (32.02 KB, 828x123, 1DA63A17-042E-433B-B9FA-9D70DC…)
doubt.jpeg
No. 227099
>>226694Congratulations on half a year
nonnie <3 may you both have even more blissful days ahead. i’m celebrating three years with my gf in 3 months time, planning to propose to her after she graduates and gets a job where I am :)
No. 227108
>>227101the split attraction model is nonsense, people of any orientation can have low libido for whatever reason. however if you're a grown adult and you've never had the desire you probably should at least investigate the reason.
on the other hand, there are quite a few young women on social media who claim "asexual lesbian" when they're just straight women who like being touchy-feely with other women but they're actually just attracted to men and use the "comphet" excuse to justify this.
No. 227438
>>227082>>227083if trans-"women" existed back then they would be castrated gay men like most TIMs were historically, so maybe sappho wouldn't have cared about or had a problem with them, but "loving" and including them is pure propaganda BS
>>227101split attraction model is
toxic, a lesbian who doesn't have sex is just that, doesn't need a special label. most "ace lesbians" i knew were literal teenagers (when i was a teen) or very traumatized, so i don't think the "asexual" part is natural
No. 227572
File: 1643633548647.jpg (105.59 KB, 1200x965, ETlDdQ8WAAcPzbl.jpg)
>>227511youre lucky, congrats. thats cute
No. 227741
>>227715I'm actually that anon as well as
>>227511 and my dream is slowly coming true with this woman who wants the same things as me. I'm happy you found my post encouraging. Wishing you the best of luck out there.
No. 228942
>>228860This one sounds batshit and spiteful, nothing good's gonna come out of this. It's not the healthy behavior of a mature woman.
Move on, get someone better.
No. 229681
>>229172I once got called an Aiden genderhaver moid wannabe for contesting that gay men are the worst demographic of women. Not to defend moids of any kind, because gay men certainly are still misogynistic, but it's utterly inane to say they're worse than straight men. Then when I clarified I was a lesbian actually some anons tried to say I was bringing my lesbianism up for no reason like it wasn't me trying to clear up misconceptions that another anon brought up first.
I've been a little disillusioned will all the random homophobia on lolcow these past few months honestly.
No. 229686
>>229681It's been happening a lot lately. I had to stop reading the MTF and Femboy thread altogether months ago despite them featuring the most hilarious cows on this site because the blatant homophobia was getting too bad. Some of them were just scrotes tinfoiling about secret jewish societies converting everyone into homosexuality and some of them were /tttt/ migrants shit talking each other but some of them were honest women sperging about how much they hate gay men because they unironically thought that HSTSs will seduce their men and grow magic science wombs to make women obsolete. I'd be much more worried about the sociopathic AGPs posing an actual danger to women and especially lesbians. And lord the Fakeboi thread, that I haven't touched in at least a year because the lesbophobia and utter lack of empathy for butch lesbians was getting too much.
All in all I think everyone knows and acknowledges that gay men have misogynistic traits but like someone mentioned when having this discussion, the gay men who whine about vaginas being ugly stinky fish ditches are bitter gay incels and despised even by other gay men. I say this as someone who has had a lot of gay male friends and has met the worst of the worst misogynistic divas. As for the tranny question, large amounts of gay men speak loudly against transgenderism but instead of TRAs beating them into submission like people do to lesbians they're just ignored to silence. I don't trust anyone who says "I hate gay men but lesbians are cool", that's a big ass red flag there and makes you sound like either a creepy fetishist or someone who infantilizes lesbians. For every odd gay man that has given me trouble there are at least 1000 straight men who have been more dangerous and harmful than anyone else.
No. 229687
>>229681Gay men are shit in all situations. My issue is that not only are they misogynistic but they also can't seem to stop playing
victim but also suck anytime they do things that usually women do and get praised for it, this especially applies to cosmetology and fashion. The fact so many women praise drag makeup is gross especially since drag makeup looks like shit but since it's a ~gay boy~ doing it it's perfect and creative
No. 229742
>>229686Not trying to encourage you back to those threads by any means because they are a legit horror show, but there's usually a few people calling those people out and telling them to stfu. Moreso on the mtf thread oddly.
The ftm thread does make me sad though. There's so much homophobia and cruel shit written there and the stuff about detransitioned women really makes me mad. I feel bad for those women and I would never mock them for what they've been through or the choices they made. They're the ones who have to live in their bodies for the rest of their lives. And when anons start giggling and screaming and retching over hairy women, fat women, women in masculine clothes, women with short hair, it makes me feel like I'm listening to mean girls in highschool talk shit. You're gonna talk about troons pushing gender roles 2.0 and then act like gnc women are troglodytes by default? Like sorry you operate on the same level of men and completely dehumanize women the moment they stop performing femininity.
Maybe I take it too personally cause I love mascs but damn it really grinds my gears. They act like it's a crime for women not to pretty themselves up and that's half the reason so many girls romanticize transitioning.
No. 229746
>>229686Lot of words when you could've just said "I'm a fag hag"
>Muh homophobiaGay men are moids and moids are shit.
>But straight moids are worseI don't care which arbitrary subset of moids are "worse" than another. They're all shit.
No. 229775
>>229759literally no clue who youre talking about kek
>>229765not the same anon, retard. all i did was laugh at the other anon for ranting about gay men without the decency to sage. that's been my only reply to this particular dumbass convo
No. 229794
>>229742The Fakeboi thread is the absolute worst. I was honestly overwhelmed by the anons who posted "before/after" images of some girls going from plain feminine girls to short-haired butches and whining about how they "ruined themselves". And how girls who were traumatized by being ostracized for being GNC in their childhood to the point of trooning out are faking it because "nobody gets bullied for having masculine interests as a girl". It was the scrotiest shit ever, I was there for the cringy FTM cows, not a whole ass homophobia&tradshit party.
>>229777>i personally would prefer to talk about anime girl pussyIf you ever complain about being read as a male or a tranny then stop writing autistic shit like this.
No. 229822
>>229794I belive ftm ruin themselves if they get surgery or hormones to distance themselves from their still very clearly female body. It's especially sad when you realize most of them do so because they were abused or sexually assaulted and transitioning is kind of an escape. Either way that or hating themselves because they're women.
>>229777>anime girl pussyObjectifying women to the point of thinking of them as pussy or liking cartoon porn made for coomer men doesn't make you a lesbian. It means you're pornsick.
No. 229890
>>229754Get reading comprehension, I'm not here to spoonfeed you what we were talking about.
>>229765What? kek take your meds
>>229777You sound like a tryhard or a scrote. You'll get the knack of pretending to be an online lesbian eventually I guess.
No. 229911
>>229794i have never claimed to not be autistic. i'm posting on an imageboard
>>229822>>229890why is every other person here like this kek. i'm a lesbian which means i think women are sexually attractive and i like saying sexual things about them because every other "sapphic" space on the internet is overrun with fakers who do nothing but talk about how much they uwuwuw want to hold hands and go on cottagecore picnics with girls. i think it's very gnc of me to be a degenerate actually! other women get to say all the heinous shit they want about their ugly fictional moids but god forbid anyone like me exists. i don't get annoyed at being called a scrote on any other thread but cmon now getting lectured for saying pussy on the lesbian thread. where are my fellow sick women!
No. 229928
File: 1644535430042.jpeg (31.25 KB, 245x445, 2695C9E7-B3F5-416E-8F83-6BF2EC…)
>described herself as a radical feminist lesbian
Yeah I’m thinking based
Used to look perfect
No. 230089
>>230019
>Even bi women making "This made me lesbian" jokes when they see a scrote doing scrote things is seen as lesbophobic. I genuinely cannot figure out how.It's because they're like "um… lesbianism isn't just a label you, you can't just choose to love women, we go through so much oppression blah blah" and I mean I guess that's true, but it's a fucking joke retard. Istg everything is being called lesbophobic these days, even to the point where I see it even more than people calling shit transphobic or ableist. No wonder people are starting to despise us.
>>230070Technically fag is one, and this is an imageboard. They're just words, and it's really one's choice to get offended by them.
No. 230151
>>230089the only things that get called lesbophobic are the things that hurt trannoids or bi womens feelings. none of these people are actually lesbians.
>>230001i need them to stay far away from me
No. 230477
>>230403True, not a lot you can do to assuage someone's homophobia for them. Or lesbophobia I guess, or whatever - butchphobia? I grew out my hair over the pandemic until it was a normal length and women at work grew markedly colder to me when I cut it. Nothing else changed, I just had short hair. Same uniform, same bare face, same attitude, they knew I was gay before so maybe I just disappointed them for being stereotypical.
I had a supervisor who I knew in my gut was a homophobe and I was still so crushed when I found out she was saying nasty things about me being a lesbian and calling me a predator and saying I was probably having sex with my gf at work (we worked in the same building on different shifts). Someday I'll be 25 and hopefully stop wanting approval from older women who look like my mom.
No. 230486
>>230477That's awful anon, fuck your supervisor. Hoping you'll find a more accepting place to work at some day.
I have long hair but I dress very masculine so I'm written off as a weirdo, people rarely read me as a butch because of the hair so they assume I'm a straight becky who's too pathetic to get a boyfriend. So they don't treat me as a rapist and after hearing so many butch lesbians tell their experiences of being branded as a predator for having short hair I'm probably never going to cut it. I guess it's better to have Stacey steal your lunch money and laugh at you than have her tell everyone that you're going to assault them and screw your equally degenerate girlfriend on the lunchroom table.
No. 231366
>>230486Thank you, I've changed workplaces since then but she actually left before I did. Some other people filed complaints about her and they did a massive investigation, pretty much everyone had a run in with her and she was also very racist.
I know what you mean about just looking like a straight weirdo, that was how I felt too with long hair. It felt so weird to have people ask if I had a boyfriend when I'm used to being so visible
>>230537Damn, it sucks how one bad manager to kill the whole place. I hope you found/find a new place that treats you better
No. 231935
>>230643Honestly all this. I’m so prepared to live by myself and be the weird spinster lady with cats and no husband.
I think I’ve said before I’ve not had a girlfriend and i’m sure a partner would be nice but being alone would be nice too I think.
No. 232688
File: 1644972148122.jpeg (8.63 KB, 194x259, 654356.jpeg)
If /g/ is also dead when I get home from work I just wanna say that I love you all very much. These threads have been really cozy and I'll miss them if they go for good. The internet is so retarded right now for lesbians so I unironically am grateful for the space we've been able to have together here. Hopefully we'll bump into eachother again on other parts of the internet, maybe I'll get on Radblr or something.
No. 232740
File: 1644973760133.jpg (54.76 KB, 500x374, cat-hug.jpg)
>>232688I'm sooo scared this place is going to die, its one of the last lb places that isn't pandery and infested with Twitter tards. I was waiting for the day I'd have a gf to post about it here
sadly as things are going that's not going to happen…If we ever meet other farmanons irl or elsewhere I'd love if we had some sort of code to reach out to each other in secret.
No. 233109
>>231993Slavic here, I haven’t, though I’m not out yet so I feel like going to a therapist while hiding such a big thing is dumb and won’t give results + I don’t want the fucking therapist to out me (which is a possibility here with these shitty therapists).
If I were out, I’d talk to other gays from my city to ask about their experiences with therapists, and see who they recommend, because then you’ll know if they tried any weird homophobic stuff. If not that, then maybe try to search online.
No. 235155
>>234580They're weird about a lot of things there tbh.
If LC dies I'm just gonna make peace with not having a space, I guess. Radblr is ok but it's a whole lot of doomposting and I don't want trannies to take over my mental real estate when I can help it. I've appreciated the anons who helped me out here, as well as the anons I was able to help instead. Keep paving your own way nonitas.
No. 241628
>>234159I've never been to L chat but was inspired by anons who said it's butchphobia central and jesus christ is this r/ActualLesbians but in a forum format? It's just people lusting after conveniently attractive celebrity women (literally every thread is about how hot you find some celebrity?) and thirstposting. Everyone keeps underlining that they're into
femme lesbians specifically even if it's not relevant to the discussion and there are bisexuals talking about how hot they are and straight out calling lesbians ugly dykes while crying about them being mean to them. What the fuck?
What a weird experience. There's also a ton of pointless infighting, the spergery exceeds lolcow by a thousand miles.
No. 241648
>>241628Samefag, just came across a thread of them just posting butch lesbian photos and making fun of them and calling them hideous and disgusting smelly wannabe moids who don't shower, and like
>>235194 described everyone who's clearly butch but attractive is "femme" to them simply for not being an ugly fatty. Also apparently only eating pussy is real lesbian sex and shit like toys is disgusting straight bitch stuff. Fuck this place, ruined my evening and made me depressed, I fucking hope most of these people are larping men or bihets and not actual lesbians.
No. 241726
File: 1645394534584.jpg (108.66 KB, 1024x768, 6280754.jpg)
>>241648I'm sorry nonners. Please don't let a bunch of lesbian pickmes ruin your evening, butches are beautiful and you know they're just lashing out at visible lesbians as cope for their internalized homophobia.
No. 241790
>>241726Thanks nonna. Sperged out a bit there because I wasn't even aware of how much other lesbians hate butches and think they're just pathetic "men lite" who should just transition already. Always thought that was shit men and straight women pulled so it's jarring.
>>241748https://www.tapatalk.com/groups/l_anon/general-discussions-f3/There you go. Honestly I don't understand why they have a separate section for celebrities when the general discussion board seems to be nothing but.
No. 244940
>>244915nta but
>dating appwe don't want to date snowflake twitter zoomers
No. 244957
File: 1645496460986.jpeg (32.46 KB, 502x431, DCC1EBBC-FEE4-4AAF-90B4-D8F010…)
Is this true?
No. 245553
>>244957I'm not saying that you ought to date obese women or that these rates are normal or acceptable, but being a lesbian means you have much higher risk of having mental issues, eating disorders and suicidal ideations and attempts (which is documented in many scientific studies). There are many lesbians that have anorexia as well. Simply framing the obesity stats as
>all the fatties are just desperate hetsis quite one-dimensional.
No. 245603
File: 1645577566666.jpg (31.14 KB, 600x398, 78.jpg)
The Arthur finale aired and it looks like Francine grew up to be one of us. I hope she's a terf
No. 245653
>>241790It evolved out of class differences. For this you have to ignore the lesbian bar culture of 1920's Germany, because there butch (Kesser Vater, KV) was also popular with the upper classes and seen as a form of entertainment. Butch-femme was part of working class culture other than that, (upper)middle class lesbians tended to look down on it. This got worse with political lesbianism coming onto the scene. They decided that butch-femme holds up heteropatriarchy, that butches are male aligned and oppress femmes. Butches weren't allowed to feminist meetings because of it. These things evolved into cultural feminism, the narrative ended up being shifted because of this to femininity being oppressed, not females. This opened the door to TiMs being considered more woman than butches and even that butches supposedly oppress TiMs, since femininity is now considered the most oppressed. As lesbianism got more acceptable and androgynous style influences became more mainstream, femme4femme really became popular in the 90's. At the same time butches had been pushed into the arms of the pharmaceutical industry. Butches were starting to be considered suspect and risky to date, because of the risk of trooning out, but the trooning out is caused by consistent systematic exclusion. So the majority of ads in lesbian magazines looking for a partner specified 'no butches'. There were/are also the masculinity borderwars, the tension between butches and TiFs has existed since at least the 90's (see Female Masculinity by Jack Judith Halberstam). It seems like these two groups teamed up and you can almost sum it up with the LWord, femme4femme supremacy and the only time they show a butch, she troons out and becomes a gayden. It's like you can also use that as the general attitude in the 'community' towards butches. To circle back to the class thing, since butch was associated with poor manual laborers, I assume the "stinky, dirty" thing is a pretty old stereotype too.
No. 245686
File: 1645621684474.png (539.28 KB, 637x706, Screenshot 2021-05-07 093804.p…)
Hi.(lolcow.farm/info)
No. 246566
>>246227Kek this is what it felt like reading something Mitski wrote
>And you can love women. I've loved womenLike sure you have queen
No. 246883
>>246814She was/is with probably the fake lesbians of tiktok? That pearl song was claimed by the tiktok gays even though most of her other songs talk about wanting men to want her back.
Same with "Gay jesus" Hailey Kyoko all her songs are about her pinning after straight chicks. It's bullshit.
No. 246944
File: 1646107840893.jpeg (212.79 KB, 1334x290, 04CD4850-2D07-4C52-A2BD-3F2E92…)
>>246883I've seen people say Hayley Kiyoko dated men before her music career, but no sources to back it up
>>246904"27 Bad Survival Tips for Artists" no. 10
No. 247300
>>247282I try not to be bitter at straight/kinsey 1 women but they make it so hard sometimes. I envy straight girls for being able to find partners and being loved and conforming to society and hate how they don't realize what a privilege that is. Yes, straight women have to suffer of misogyny too, but they're exempt from homophobia. I have to deal with both and all the other crap that comes with not being of mainstream sexuality or even gender conforming.
The complete lack of empathy they have sometimes is heartbreaking, especially when it's outright hostility they try to justify with a past experience with a mean lesbian who hurt their feewings by making a heterophobic joke. Or how they felt totally threatened by some predatory nasty bulldyke who said hi to them.
No. 247320
>>247300I get it in that I hated feeling like the weird one, or feeling so alienated when they wanted to talk about this guy or the other. I just felt like such a beta for being different I guess. And yes, sometimes they do act like you're a monster for liking women. Sometimes they'll lead you on for attention. Still, women are more my allies than men, we just sometimes have obstacles in the way.
>>247291I definitely feel as though the wanting approval from straight women manifests itself in very PG lesbianism, like cottagecore stuff, or 'holding hands and reading together' tumblr posts. And then people get this PG idea of being attracted to women as being 'i think girls are pretty and i feel strongly connected to my bestie', which isn't true, and this leads to fake lesbians, and lesbians getting taken less seriously. I remember forcing myself to be very feminine so I could never be thought of as creepy, so I could like women without being an 'outsider/invader' woman. It wasn't me.
No. 247375
>>247329>>247337This is definitely how I see it as well. You're supposed to act overtly lewd and gush about how you want to suckle on mommy's milkers while she stomps you with heels because #lesbianpride but at the same time
actually being sexually attracted to women with an emotional attachment involved is considered disgusting. It's why I roll my eyes every time someone claims that "being heterosexual is looked down upon and everyone has to be gay now" as it's all very performative and surface level.
Being a lesbian is treated as a fetish, both by bihets and AGP troons, and I often wonder how much it plays a part in most lesbians identifying as whateversexual instead of a dirty pornified lesbo.